#even tho i mostly post atla now

[byfulcrums]

Yeah, I realized a while ago that what I said in that other post was wrong, my bad. Also, I'm bad at words and English isn't my first language (and I didn't sleep very well so my thoughts aren't very coherent rn) so if there's something you can't understand of what I'm saying please tell me so I can find a way to translate it better

What I personally believe is that, as I said before, Azula does love Zuko and Zuko does (or tries) to love her back, and as you said I said before, it doesn't justify how terrible she was to him

My point in general is that (and I know I mentioned it before but it's something I could talk about for literal HOURS and not get tired of it) Ozai used Azula to torment Zuko (and Ursa) by setting an example where he was violent and horrible to the people around them so she would mimick him and become into a little copy of him (bc he didn't want children, he wanted soldiers that would follow his every rule. [Word. Or something. Idk how to say it correctly]. Fuck him for that. Fuck him for everything actually)

Still, though. Azula, by mimicking Ozai's actions, became one of Zuko's main abusers, and he would be 100% right to be angry at her for it. Honestly if I were him I wouldn't have even tried to help her (he tried to do that in the comics) because, like. Having been hurt before doesn't excuse every single action of yours. Sure, it's an explanation, but not an excuse

I know people have said this before but Zuko owes nothing to Azula. He doesn't owe her forgiveness, doesn't owe her kindness, doesn't owe her love. He doesn't owe her anything. Azula was the one that was terrible to him and while it was pretty much Ozai's fault, Zuko is still allowed to be angry at her over it

Also (and I'm using a personal experience with a friend I used to have as reference), the only way that I believe Azula should get a redemption arc is for her to realize that what she did was wrong and then for her to apologize (and, well. Zuko's more willing to forgive her than everyone else, without counting Aang and Ty Lee, so he'd probably accept her apology) and make up for all of it. And even then, none of the people she hurt should be forced to forgive her! Honestly all I want is for Azula (and for that shitty friend [sorry for swearing] too) is for her to genuinely feel sorry. Nothing more

I think an important question to ask whenever the abuse apologists spring up every time someone dares to say that Zuko didn’t mistreat Azula in the same way she did him is this:

When did Ozai ever encourage or empower Zuko to treat Azula badly the same way he encouraged and empowered Azula to treat Zuko badly?

If Ozai actually encouraged them to fight each other, like I see suggested to silence any and all discussion of how Azula hurt her brother, then we would see Ozai encouraging Zuko to hurt Azula the same way he encourages Azula to hurt Zuko. We would see Ozai unhappy that Azula brought her brother back as an ally in book three, when his order was to bring him back as a prisoner. When Zuko was legally named an enemy of the fire nation. Azula has the power to bring Zuko back as an ally and is specifically praised for doing so in front of a cheering crowd because Ozai empowers her to treat Zuko whatever way she wants as long as it doesn’t threaten her status as the golden child or his status as the great fire lord he thinks he is.

And it is abuse apologism to pretend that Zuko and Azula are equally at fault for their bad relationship or that Zuko being angry at his sister for hurting him is what Ozai wants. Ozai most definitely DOES NOT want Zuko to be angry at Azula or fight back against her, because Zuko can’t be Ozai’s scapegoat if he recognizes that being treated that way is wrong and pushes back against it. Ozai gets angry at Zuko when he tells Ozai that Azula lied to him, and is in disbelief, because Azula is his golden child and how dare Zuko suggest she did anything off color.

Of course Azula was hurt, too, but not by Zuko, and y’all need to stop pretending that it was a mutual rivalry or that they are equally bad to each other or that Zuko not taking his sister’s crap is “what Ozai wants.” Zuko did the one thing that is the biggest threat to Ozai in walking away. Which doesn’t mean that Zuko can’t care for and help Azula down the line, but part of Zuko’s abuse was being made to think he was responsible for the way his father and sister treated him like the family scapegoat. Not accepting blame for the bad relationship he has with his sister is him directly defying what Ozai wanted and how Ozai conditioned him to think. Before that, Zuko blamed himself for not “getting along” with Azula even while he feared being attacked by her. Him realizing by the end of the story that he is not responsible for any of it is him directly defying Ozai. That’s why he calls Azula out in the finale when she says she’s “sorry” that it has to end this way, because he’s realized that it didn’t have to be that way and he is not responsible for making it that way, and she’s not sorry at all about it.

[weaselbeaselpants]

Lindsay Ellis plagiarized a ndn author

This post isn't a callout and it's only my own post because the OP source I just learned it from, @neechees, doesn't allow rbgs at a certain point on that post.

After Hmbomberguy's expose on Illuminaughtii and James Somerton some people are giving a well deserved eye back to the leftube sphere that was kind of schism-d and held under scrutiny in what I feel was, a lot of the time, misinformed hate campaigns in response to genuine criticism; especially towards Lindsay Ellis who up left after she was canceled and hasn't returned to continuous video making publicly even after people have mostly agreed the hatedom directed for her Raya and the Last Dragon takes was stupid and was erasing actual SEA people's discussions of the culture. To hear and see a decent breakdown of that film's representation problems BEYOND the Ellis-parts because it's worth your wild regardless of if you've seen the movie, please watch the three part video series hosted by Xiran Jay Zhao.

To tl;dr the 2021 drama: people have held an ire towards Ellis for a long time feeling like her and her white-woman base talk over, steal, or just straight up don't apologize for their own racism towards women and ppl of color, and after Lindsay did a problematic by pointing out that Raya and the Last Dragon was like ATLA, people jumped on her.

Being both a longtime fan of Ellis and white as fucc, I personally feel like Lindsay kind of forgave herself and threw out the actual criticisms held against her every bit as much as people just kind of treated her like a punching bag. Or, to paraphrase @padawan-historian's old takes from then, they treated Lindsay like she was trying to be the ENTIRE conversation, not the start of one, and like every possible outcome that could happen over her videos was her fault personally. Some of Lindsay's loudest and nastiest 'critics' were, in fact, other white people or just people who have no good faith in addressing her fuck ups, like Lily Orchard, fe.

One 'Lindsay did a racism'point tho that I felt wasn't truly addressed in full though were claims by indigenous people that she was anti-native, especially in her videos about Twilight and Pocahontas, which yeah at the time I was very passive of you can 100% find post abt that. But then Neechees linked me to an article I, and I think a lot of other video essay-fans had never seen before. This article accused Lindsay of stealing half of her talking points on Disney's Pocahontas from theirs.

When people on the breadtube spectrum talk of Lindsay, even people who criticized her at the time. all kind of agree that the intensity of the backlash was uncalled for and, while not everyone agrees if her public silence is a 'canceling' or not, agree with her need to just take care of herself these days. For those curious, this is the article making this claim:

I am not saying you need to all unfollow and hate everything Lindsay ever touched, mkay? But I also genuinely hope that Lindsay addresses this+comes clean because holy fuck. Unlike Somerton, all I can tell you is I don't just 'believe Windsey wouldn't hurt nobody uwu~'. I am pretty certain that Lindsay care about the topics she covers, for whatever that's worth to say as another whiteperson. It's just that, like Contrapoints, I ALSO think she has a tendency to deflect criticism within that sphere and lump all her negative bagage together. This really sucks cuz not all of us are Lily Orchards or Vaush clones.

Most of us are/were casual watchers of Lindsay like we are Hbomber, Contra, Lady Emily, Folding Ideas, and ToddintheShadows (does he count as leftube idk?) and we really, genuinely don't want to believe that Lindsay stole from + refuses to listen to women of color when they call her out.

Where I like almost everyone in the leftoob analyst sphere that's ever growing and hopefully now weeding out Illumanaughtii-s and Sommerton-s of the world, there ARE controversies within the space that I don't agree with creators on. Some are dumb things like the exact takes Lindsay has about movies n shows that I just up and disagree with her on, Princess Weekes' proshipping apologia that I have LOTS of thoughts on. However, some matters are clearly personal and about maters that just don't involve me. Earlier this year, Folding Ideas and Lady Emily ctrl+alt+deleted some replies they made to Quinton Reviews, making clear that they very much still dislike him based on something that happened between Quinton, Lindsay and I think SarahZ. And by "dislike", I mean also still believeing his former editor over him on who was boundary pushing about who in their relationship. On the offchance any of those creators or their stans somehow see this, know that I'm not going to tell any of you guys how to feel about whatever Quinton did in private I'm not aware of; it's just that I also happen to believe Quinton on this issue and I don't like the guiltybyassociation mantra.

>>>>side note: I hate that every time someone says "I believe so and so after hearing their side now" ppl jump on the "you were just a stan from the beginning and never actually able to listen"-bs. Yeah, being more familiar with one creator over the other means there's bias, sure, but I kinda hate that that once held bias means you can't be held as any kind of source or form your own opinions. <<<

Big introvert vibes ahead: the thing about any big social circle of better-spoken people than you is they ALL seem like a scary meangirl's table from outside looking in. The kind that'll send goons after you with passive-aggressive "this is slander against me and I have the right to be upset abt it sorry if the stans eat you alive". They can also be made out by their fans to be harmless internet nobody's who YOU are at fault for getting mad and staying mad at cuz it's not like it matters on the internet and are clearly just out for drama and 'twofaced' yourself. I think the reality is the same thing that drives every community forward as well as drives them apart: these people are legitimate friends. They stick up for each other the same way we stick up for our personal internet friends whenever there's shit coming their way. The breadtube circle, whoever that is at this point, clearly know some shit we don't about themselves as much as they don't know shit about us and our true intentions. One of them has a platform and responsibility, where the other has power in masses and following them or not. We gotta all make the choices best for us.

Anyway. I guess, if any of the stuff about Lindsay ripping off that writer IS true, I really hope that she admits and apologizes for it. That's not cool to do to her indigenous audience, or even me, one of her white fans who expects actually allyship.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

RoR: Issues with Kyoshi's supposed fate (her power and purpose)

Spoilers for the Roku Novel....obviously (as well as Kyoshi's novels, ATLA/LoK show and comic will be touched on. Lightly touches on Yangchen in her novels but not the plot). TT0TT

I have a lot of thoughts on Kyoshi's fate, but instead of one big post, I'm just going to do a bunch of smaller ones that tie into different aspects of it.

This one involves her power narrative and purpose.

Trigger warning under the cut as well (under the cut cause of possible spoilers)

TW: Suicide/Suicide mention

Ok so basically the novel wants us to be like "She went so far off the deep end, she stopped valuing human life and just found it easier to kill people! But then looked within and realized her time had come and possibly just let herself die. uwu"

So many issues, holy shit. Like....so many things that DON'T add up. It doesn't help that we literally don't go into how the world is shaped by her 230 years, not even how Roku is effected by it! And this doesn't even consider the darn "Every Avatar is made right for that era" spiel.

Now, I'm not against Kyoshi realizing her time has come for that era. Or if she always planned to self exit (both kill herself and just literally see herself out the gd door cause damn did she just....bounce! She really left us guessing TT0TT) because of one reason or another.

But I don't like how it was framed in this story (so far, cause I barely wanna give RR the benefit of the doubt >_>). Mostly cause I think we could've gone about her wanting to leave without vilifying her. I think it's more tragic if she just..... it was just too painful to live. Like she could've kept going, but she didn't want to because she missed all that she had lost.

And the vilifying is less of me being like 'My character can do no wrong!" and more "This doesn't add up with our perception of her later down the road, and it's not like a part of her legacy was hidden like Yangchen's was." Kyoshi is more up front than sweet scheme Yangchen (and to YC credit she schemed for a good damn reason). And it's not like she had a Kuruk to take the damn bullets for her. Kyoshi stood on her business. She never denied or diminished what she did, accident or on purpose. It was one of the few character traits we got out of that Avatar in the original ATLA. What we see is pretty much what we get.

But while the suicide route is viable. I really think we could've just....gone with a bigger hero moment. Maybe she dies by the hand of a spirit? Possibly protecting someone. I feel like that utilizes her extreme godly power to a much better use for the 1) the narrative and 2) "every avatar is made right for that era" mentality.

Cause......let's look at point 2

Yangchen: Was a schemer who stopped other schemey schemes from scheming. Her gentle and forgiving nature giving her a peaceful vibe. And all that accumulated to her navigating the world to peace. She brought balance to an imbalanced human world. The world needed someone who could navigate people into peace.

Kuruk: Was a powerful bending prodigy and amazing hunter. He used those skills to defend the human world against spirits that Yangchen pissed off. The world needed someone who could fight those spirits.

Kyoshi: Because Kuruk had to ignore the human world, corruption and crime became rampant. Kyoshi was born at the lowest rung so she could understand and fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves. She stayed alive for 230 years. We don't really know all the progress she made tho (we do know she failed in some regard, such as changing the Earth Kingdom's views on LGBT, or the fact there is apparently some daofei still hanging around 3 years before her death), but apparently she did A LOT of good. She accumulated a lot of power and.....we don't know what she did with it.

Roku: We're ignoring you :) (partially we don't really.....know a lot of his accomplishments that maintained peace, only really his mistakes, rather than me being a hater. We know he more or less kept the peace tho)

Aang: Ran away right before a war started, securing his people's culture to at least remain alive with/within him. Finished the 100 year war with a way of avoiding having to kill (which kept his culture's values alive). Giving the world a form of hope and peace amongst all the death and destruction.

Korra: A powerful fighter put through the ringer over and over and over. Constantly showing the world that it still needs an Avatar. The world is going through intense constant change, and she was there to help guide it through each change in its rapid current.

Taking what we broke down above and going back to point 1 with the "narrative," Kyoshi just kinda.....dies. There's still stuff she wasn't able to fully see through to the end. She probably COULD'VE but she doesn't, she dies. And her death is a mystery on top of that.

Then there's the fact she accumulated SO MUCH power and.....what was the point of it? Was it just in service for the Avatar state? (I thought the creators chose to make "Prime Raava" to be more powerful and 10,000 years worth of lives???? so what's the point there)? Why make her supposedly so freaking powerful if you aren't going to do anything with it?

I dunno, if she was going to become THAT powerful, it feels like it's building up to something. Someone who needed to suffer for 230 years, get that strong. I really think if they wanted to claim "yeah she got really powerful" then it should be in service of something. She sacrifices herself to defeat a strong spirit. Either dies in combat along with it, or, upon seeing the threat is gone finally let's go because she realizes her time had come (aka she realized that was the last duty she needed to perform as the Avatar).

It's the only thing that makes sense with what we are given. Between the time delay, the lack of knowledge, her having so much power. And the fact the last time an Avatar went AWOL (aka Kuruk) that wasn't because of an injury (aka Korra).....it was because of spirits. Which loops back around to part 2, Kyoshi was the Avatar that generation(s) needed, because it built up to that. The world needed someone resilient to last 230, gain power, and then protect the world from devastation! (....to unite all people within our nation-ahem sorry sorry got distracted >_> still fitting words jkldsajflk;j)

I dunno, maybe I'm too hung up on her being uber powerful. It just feels weird that she may have exceeded past Avatars by a lot and then.....do nothing with that. If they didn't make it feel like she'd basically obtained godhood, that would be one thing....but that's not what they did so. TT0TT

[periwinkle-the-11th]

Intro post!

i'm Peri!

I spend my time writing, reading, crocheting, embroidering, drawing, sewing, procrastinating my school work, and complaining about everything under the sun.

Heres my pronoun page!

I post all my writing and various creations over on @pericreatesstuff and my ao3 is Peri_Writes

Sidenote: Guess who's officially a college student!!!!

my writing blog is mostly unedited snippets, and my ao3 is either fully plotted and finished beta'd works... or smth i thought up at 3am wrote in one sitting and only proofread once.

I'm in way way way to many fandoms so heres an incomplete list:

Keep It Steady Podcast

Juno Steel (i just started season 4 no spoilers PLS )

pjo/hoo (I haven't read toa yet but its on my list)

kotlc

Kaleidotrope Podcast

Voltron (ik, i'm judging me too.)

bridge to terabithea

Atla

Daylight Shooting Star (if you know dss I am begging you to be my friend I have literally never met anyone else who's read it)

Marauders

Sk8 the infinity

Ohshc

The Sky Fall Trilogy by shannon messenger (once again if you've read it (and liked it) I am begging you to be my friend its so so underrated)

The Lost Books: Scroll of Kings (SO SO SO UNDERRATED)

I listen to way to much music way to often, heres some artists/bands i like: Set it off, pierce the veil, taylor swift, Fin (steffan argus), conan gray, PEGGY, olivia rodrigo, alec benjamin, one direction, Natalie jane, sadie jean, my chemical romance, fall out boy, NF, MARINA, Maren Morris, girl in red, melanie martinez, Avril Lavigne, Madonna, Ke$ha, little mix, Queen, Billy joel, Zara Larsson, Maisie Peters, Lauren spencer smith, ABBA, Jorge Rivera-Herrans, Sam Hunt, and literally so many more

and my tags:

#peri personal - just about everything not fandom related/interactions w people/my life

#peri complains - self explanatory really

#music rambles - rambling about music, mostly when new songs/albums come out

#allis adventures - various stuff about my sourdough! her full name is Allison Breadorthy and she is ALIVE

#baking Breadorthy - actually baking her ^

#peri crafts - self explanatory

#my memes - crappy memes i make, mostly reblogged from my writing blog

#writing related - self explanatory but its mostly me complaining about my fics, plot holes i find, and polls bc i'm indecisive

#friends <3 - my actual conversation style interaction with my mutuals

#lena and tim - my self indulgent au where Lena Luthor adopts Tim Drake after his parents die, the fic is being plotted currently. THE FIC IS CANCELED!!! LEX IS LENA'S BROTHER! LENA IS KON'S AUNT!! THE PLANNED TIMKON IS LEGAL INCEST! (why does this keep happening??? TvT)

#bravery points game - I've started playing a points game with my anxiety, where every time I do something that scares me/my anxiety told me would end in disaster I get a point! It's stupid but it's motivating, I'm being brave! (Even tho it's terrifying) I don't really have a points goal but I wanna try to get to 100 before the end of the year!

Thats all for now!! I'll probably update this once i realize i forgot smth tho

[that-was-anticlimactic]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my beloved @zukkaoru & @lesmiserablol <333

tagging (with no pressure): @beachytablecloth, @fabro-de-omres, & @milf-harrington (so sorry if you've already been tagged!)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

69 which... is honestly more than i was expecting? i think it helps that my goal is to post a fic once a month mostly bc that's my motivation to keep writing even when i'm busy/stressed!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

396,183 - omg i am SO CLOSE to 400k ahhhhhhhhh

3. what fandoms do you write for?

uhhhhhhh many??? right now, it's a lot of bsd/bnha, but it's always a plethora of things, haha! my first was prolly ninjago tbh

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

hey, little songbird, give me a song

you never quite say (but i hear)

lost in love and lost in feelings

Deeper Than Words

for a new world to begin, the old one must fall

okay the #1 for that is honestly so real that is one of my absolute favorite things i've written EVER lol, same with #2! the rest are... idk #4 is AWFUL - like one of my first atla fics and also my first time writing a ts fic (i have gotten SO MUCH BETTER AT IT NOW)

*note: i started this in like nov or early dec, and #5 changed! it was the zukka goose fic but now it's actually one of my favorites iugytfyhujiko

5. do you respond to comments

i used to be good at it. then i got stressed bc of school. and then i was suddenly like "uhhhh idk How to respond???" i think the thing that got me was i didn't know how to reply to the distressed comments on my sokka falling fic so i just. accidentally stopped.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh here in the garden (let's play a game) 100% rip to sokka sorry babes ilysm hate to do it to ya, love the angst tho <333 rip to everyone who missed the major character death tag lol. well... that or a spring and summer song, too brief rip to geto in the +1 oops... oh shoot... it could also be take me where my soul can run... hm...

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this was hard, but imma go with i was a child and she was a child bc it's based on one of my favorite childhood memories! rip to zuko and his ice cream tho :/ but azula is VIBING the whole time oiuygfcgyhuij

8. do you get hate on fics?

not really? i did once have someone try to correct me and say that i wrote sokka with ocd instead of tourette's but it was in the bookmarks and it made me laugh lol. i also got this comment on my kubokai kaidou with ts fic: ".. the self projection is heavy in this one ... -_-" so idk if that counts lol

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

nope :)

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

uhhhh not really? i wrote ninjago equestria girls crossover oneshot in middle school but i never finished it and it SUCKED lol

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of?

12. what's the longest you've spent working on a fic? and the shortest?

uhhh i wrote a 7,600 word fic in three hours while i had covid? that's prolly the shortest? i count that as shorter than anything i may have finished faster bc i had covid lol but longest? ummmm over a year? multiple years? idkkkkkk the jay with ts fic i posted was something i wrote in 2019 and i edited it (a lot) and posted it in 2022 so??? that maybe?

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

uhhh i did with friends in middle/high school, but those never left the docs! also grace and i have. very many much so aus lol

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? from all fandoms?

RARIJACK!!! it was one of my first hardcore ships, and also was my introduction to queer ships!!! renga is a close second, but rarijack just is really important and special to me for sentimental reasons that put it above renga and others! i am also on a seroroki kick right now. it's not my all-time favorite, but the brain rot seems never ending right now lol

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

GOD SO MANY i have a folder in gdocs just for ninjago fics and there are folders within the folder for different types of wips i'll never finish - i have That many: "no substance", "baby girls", "drafts"... etc...

16. what are your writing strengths?

uhhhhhhhhhh ngl i'm in a place right now where i feel like the answer is Nothing (writer's block has been Bad recently), but i think something i'm good at in a very specific way is making readers feel the discomfort of characters? like idk i've been told that the way i write ts and tics (specifically tic attacks) makes the readers feel uncomfortable in like a "wow i didn't know it felt this way" kind of way??? i like to think i'm good at characterization??? idkkkk

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

ummm setting and scenery & connecting parts of a story, especially if they're parts that i'm stuck on/transitions are prolly my biggest ones???

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean go for it as long as it's respectful and like... you tried making sure it's accurate?

19. first fandom you wrote for?

uhh rainbow fairy/a-z mysteries... but that was like very briefly on paper. first time like... for Realsies was ninjago

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh 100% hey, little songbird, give me a song. it's just really special to me and writing it helped me cope with a new tic i had. but one that i wrote more recently is fantasies i'm not sure that i'm worthy of which is a ritsu-centric fic and is prolly tied as my favorite fic i wrote in 2023. the other one would be sun comes streaming through the window (& i can't sleep anymore) which is my 21k word kenji-centric fic lol but that one is like... i'm more proud of it than anything, which is what puts it up there.

[drachenonthemoon]

To you, from my heart

Read on AO3

Warnings: Fade to black sex scene at the end, discussions of male elves being able to get pregnant

Aragorn had been planning this for a long time.

First, he had spoken to his sister. She, like many elleths, had dreamt of her wedding since childhood. To Aragorn, a little lost and quite overwhelmed, she seemed like the perfect person to talk to. Arwen had laughed at him, but she had agreed to help.

“There are so many things to consider!” He exclaimed throwing himself down upon her bed in a most dramatic fashion rather reminiscent of Legolas. Arwen giggled, sitting beside the now curled up form of Aragorn.

“You need not take this so seriously, Estel. Our little leaf loves you, I do not think you need to stress.” Aragorn rolled over.

“I know,” he mumbled into the pillow, voice muffled. “I just want everything to be perfect.”

Second, he had spoken to his brothers. They had known Legolas for a very long time and had been there to aid their father in Legolas’ birth. Elladan had laughed, then grew rather overprotective of Aragorn, and even more so over Legolas. Elrohir had laughed, then teased and teased. Aragorn had wanted to sink into the dirt. When the twins finally pulled themselves together, however, they were surprisingly helpful.

“Of course he will want to marry you, Estel!” Elladan cried. “Legolas loves you.” He grinned. “You have not seen the way he looks at you when you are not watching. Our little leafling is smitten.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone love another so deeply before you two,” Elrohir murmured. “‘Dan is right. He will say yes no matter how you do it. You need not worry so much.”

“I just want everything to be perfect.” Aragorn said again, feeling frustrated. He did not need his siblings to tell him Legolas loved him. He knew that. Elladan frowned.

“I have just had an unpleasant thought!” He announced, spinning wildly to face his younger brothers. “Estel, you will be king one day-”

“I know that, why is that so unpleasant-”

“- You will need an heir! At least one.” Aragorn’s blood ran cold. He knew this of course but hadn’t given it any active thought.

“There are, of course, elons who can bear children.” Elrohir said, trying to raise his spirits. “It is possible Legolas is one of those.” Aragorn sighed.

Legolas did not come to Imladris as often as Aragorn would like. He knew all too well the duties the young prince had, and why they meant his lover could not come. The weight of the crown was oftentimes crushing the young elf and Aragorn wished he could take that pain away, take the burden of royal duty for a short time.

And now it was Aragorn’s own royal duty that stood in their way. He felt sick. Sick through the dinner with his family and Legolas, sick throughout their walk in the garden, sick as they stumbled into Aragorn’s rooms, hands roaming roughly and panting into open-mouthed kisses.

They had done this dance several times before, and it had always ended early. Aragorn sighed internally, certain he knew where this was going. It did not bother him, per se. No, the idea of falling into bed with his lover at a time said lover was uninterested was horrible. He only wished Legolas would tell him before they got that far. They didn’t need to have sex. And yet Legolas always seemed to push for it, before pulling away. It was slightly concerning if Aragorn was honest with himself. Was there something wrong with him? Had something happened to Legolas? Was his elf trying to push himself into something he didn’t want and ultimately unable to go through with it?

As expected, Legolas pulled away as Aragorn’s hands reached his belt, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Aragorn stepped back, allowing the blonde room to do whatever he needed.

“I’m not- I don’t-” he looked away. “Can we just sleep?” Aragorn smiled, gently pulling Legolas back into his embrace.

“Of course, melleth.” He pressed a firm kiss to the elf’s left temple. “Would you like a bath?” Legolas nodded against his chest.

Later, as they were lying in bed Aragron’s thoughts drifted back to before. His mind was still consumed with the reality of needing heirs, and what that would do for their relationship. And he was also thinking of Legolas’ behaviour, how he always pulled away. The elf was on his side, curled in Aragorn’s arms, lithe back to the man’s broad chest. He hadn’t fallen asleep yet, at least not that Aragorn was aware.

“‘Las?”

“Hmm?” Not asleep.

“Can we talk?” Aragorn could feel his lover’s heart pick up beneath his palm, resting on the elf’s chest.

“Of course. What is it you wish to discuss?”

“Well, it’s just…” Aragorn trailed off. He hadn’t thought this through entirely, perhaps this conversation should have been held in the morning, when thoughts were planned out and he wasn’t half asleep. Oh well. There was no going back now.

“I love you, ‘Las. I want you to remember that. And I want you to know that there is nothing that you could do that could change that.” Legolas hummed, pressing back against Aragorn slightly. He tightened his arms. “I told you at the very beginning of our relationship, that you could always say no and everything would stop, no matter what we were doing. If it was sex or just having a picnic. And that remains true. You can always say no to me, ‘Las, and I will always listen.” Legolas was stiff beneath him, and Aragorn silently cursed himself.

“However, I have become a bit… concerned lately. You can always say no. And the thing is, you always do. ‘Las, if you don’t want to have sex, that is fine. We don’t have to have sex. Ever. I do not care. But this constant starting and stopping has me worried. You always look so upset when you pull away.” He tugged Legolas’ tense body up tighter against him. “Tell me what’s going on, Legolas. I’m worried about you my love. I don’t want you to be pushing yourself into something you don’t want to do.”

Legolas sighed. And for a while that was the only sound out of either of them. Aragorn held Legolas against him and pressed soft kisses into his hair as he waited for Legolas to gather his thoughts.

“It is not that I don’t want to have sex with you,” Legolas said. “Well, that is part of it. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.” He shifted, rolling over onto his back just enough to see Aragorn’s face. His eyes were wide and vulnerable, his features anxious. Aragorn smiled and gently kissed his forehead.

“That is more than fine, my love.”

“I- … You are aware, yes, that there are male elves who have the ability to, ah…” he trailed off, biting his lip and turning to tuck his face away, towards Aragorn’s shoulder.

“Bear children?” Aragorn guessed, heart pounding. Legolas nodds, pale hair rustling against the pillows.

“I am one of them.” Aragorn feels such relief through his body that he can’t help but sigh. For the second time that night, Legolas stiffens against him.

“I apologize for not telling you earlier, I understand should you no longer wish to-” Aragorn cuts him off with a gentle kiss.

“All night I have worried, and now my fears have been assuaged. I will be king one day, my love, and I will need an heir. I feared such a thing would be the end of our relationship.” Aragorn kisses Legolas again, who returns it with passion. “But you, melleth, are wonderful and I shall worry no more.” Legolas sighs against Aragorn’s chest, cuddling closer.

Aragorn had been planning this for a long time. It was many many years after that conversation that he proposed. Spontaneously, dropping to his knees in Thranduil’s office. Years and years of planning the perfect proposal thrown out in an instant, overcome with love and excitement.

The wedding takes three months to plan. They chose to hold the ceremony in Eryn Gaelen, in the same clearing Legolas’ parents were married. One of the few places left untouched by the sickness, the glade almost glows with the magic of the forest.

They decorate with dark reds and blues and golds to represent Aragorn’s family and soft greens and yellows and silver to represent Legolas’.

Lanterns decorate the space around them, strings strung across the trees. Many tables are set up for family and friends.

The night before the wedding, Legolas separates to spend the night with his father, going over their people’s traditions. Aragorn does the same, allowing his brothers and sister to give him teas and brush his hair with a special comb, vibrating with excitement.

The next morning he awakes, and dresses. Dark trousers and black boots. A deep blue undertunic with an embroidered red vest over top. Arwen does his hair, weaves a golden ribbon into a braid then pins it across the back of his head. The next two hours are breakfast and hurried last-minute preparations, and then it’s time to begin.

Guests take their seats. Gandalf had offered to be their officiant, he stood at the altar waiting for them. Aragorn took his place at the end of the aisle and waited for his groom to join him. And when he does, Aragorn’s breath is taken away.

Legolas is wearing a silver tunic and dark green trousers underneath a pale green robe. His hair is intricately braided, with silk green and silver ribbons woven through. His silver circlet, so rarely worn, rests on his head.

Legolas smiles, shy and full of love. Aragorn can’t help but grin back, reaching to take the elf’s hand in his. Together they walk down the aisle, past family and friends, reaching the altar before Gandalf.

The wizard speaks, but Aragorn tunes him out, unable to take his eyes and attention off Legolas before him. They go through the customs of both Rivendel and Green Wood. A sip of wine from the goblet, ribbons wrapped around their hands. Gandalf begins the chant and the elves around them join in. Aragorn can’t feel the rush of magic like Legolas can, but he still feels the difference in the air.

“And now, I pronounce you lawfully wedded in the eyes of men and elves. You may kiss your groom.”

Aragorn cradles Legolas’ cheek and pulls him into a searing kiss. Legolas wrapps both arms around Aragorn’s neck and kisses back fiercely. Happy tears are dripping down the elf’s cheeks, and Aragorn can feel the burn in his own eyes.

The hours that follow and filled with music and laughter and dancing. Aragorn doesn’t think he’s even been so happy. Legolas never leaves his side, laughing and smiling with delight. Late in the night they pull away from the part, to go back to their room.

Legolas leads the way, giggling and beaming. Their hands never part. He tugs Aragorn to the bed and the man follows willingly, kissing and shedding clothes as they go. He props himself up over Legolas, stroking a hand down his milky skin. The elf gasps beneath him, and pulls him into a kiss.

“Estel, melleth-nin,” Legolas pants. “I’m ready.” Aragorn grins, and moves his hands beneath the elf’s trousers.

He’s been planning this for a long time. And tonight is finally the most perfect night of their life.

[doctorofmagic]

The Death of the Doctor Strange #5 review

Feelings, feelings everywhere.

We start the chapter with the conclusion of the fight between Stephen and Kaecilius.

While they’re at it, Wong is the one responsible for gathering the power of the sorcerers across the world, as I pointed previously. Thank you, anon, for clarifying the only one I couldn’t identify! I read the White Fox tie-in but I don’t remember if she appeared back in Agent of Atlas? It’s been a while since I last read this book and I was there for Luna and Silk, ngl haha

I’ll come back to the differences between 60′s and current Stephen, but this is one of the interesting aspects that allow us to bring light into his character development. Stephen has many friends now, even though he pushes people away. His deeds may stay hidden from most people and heroes, but sorcerers are pretty much aware of his importance. And he met all these people over the years and allowed them to build a safe magic community. And for those who missed the preview post, here are their names: Doctor Voodoo, Shaman, Jennifer Kale (I think?), Auntie Ante, Nico Minoru, Mahatma Doom, Médico Místico, Count Kaoz, Daimon Hellstrom, Professor Xu and Talisman.

The spell is preventing the other Sorcerers Supreme (Aggamon and Tiboro) from escaping to their respective dimensions, for they need them to execute the plan against the Peregrine Child and the Mothers.

Next, Stephen overcomes Kaecilius not with powerful attacks but a healing spell, which is absolutely in character since Stephen always does that in order to overcome powerful enemies. This is why I love him so much. IT’S NOT ABOUT POWER.

Stephen strangeplains that, since his soul is located in Kaecilius’ stolen hands, the healing spell regenerates his former body entirely. It demands flesh, tho, which kinda reminds me of Fullmetal Alchemist, you know. Very dark spell for 60′s Stephen to perform but hey, Kaecilius saw that coming.

Stephen is not one to be okay with killing his enemies, that much is true. But I consider this one an equivalent exchange. And 60′s Stephen does explain that the kind one who wouldn’t do it is no longer among them.

I think that... Listen, Stephen was supposed to have his hands healed, right? Because continuity and such. But do I care about v5? No. My mistake was to assume that there would be continuity, but I’m just so glad it didn’t because boi, you know the drill. V5 is definitely not my jam. And also, I don’t think this spell healed his hand (you can still see the scars). Instead, it healed Stephen’s “body” by transmuting it.

And so, our beloved Stephen is reborn (for a brief period, at least). He’s so confused haha poor thing. Also always a pleasure to see him in different clothes.

Next, Stephen is contemplating his younger self’s accomplishments while he was gone. It’s funny to see how he says he doesn’t remember being like that, especially the cold aspect of his personality. Mostly because, as you keep reading Stephen’s chronology throughout the years, you start noticing subtle shifts in his subjectivity. The Sanctum starts getting crowded, first with the Defenders, and then with Sara, Imei, Wong and Clea, even Morgana (ew) and Rintrah. For an introvert, he sure had many people around him, and he grows fond of them, no matter how hard he tries to get isolated from time to time (as I always post that panel from New Avengers Annual #2). Stephen is aware of his own growth, as he points out. Even ice can melt, and he doesn’t regret the man he has become. Reckless, depressed, afraid of relying on others? Yes. But also kind, passionate and loved by those around him. I can’t help but wonder what current Stephen would do in his place. Probably a less dramatic sacrifice, but a sacrifice nonetheless.

60′s Stephen then makes a demand of current Stephen. We do not know what it is yet, but we’ll find out.

And as I predict, a price will be paid. Because magic comes at a cost. Stephen contemplates Death. She has been chasing him for a while now (that beautiful cover from Doctor Strange v2 #4 is a nice homage), and he always managed to deceive her. But not this time, he’s afraid. Stephen knows the price of magic, he knows the sacrifices he has made in order to protect the world. The same way that he knows that, even though he admires the courage in the Avengers and the X-Men, magic will seal the final battle.

Five Sorcerers Supreme to distract the Peregrine Child. I’m a little bitter here because some time ago I saw discourse on Illyana, saying she isn’t powerful enough to be a sorcerer supreme. Ah, Jed is definitely my vindicator. She’s an X-man too, but look at her, having the spotlight. BECAUSE SHE’S A VERY POWERFUL SORCERESS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Ahem. But back to the chapter. 60′s Stephen’s astral form then confronts the Peregrine Child, as planned. He’s consumed, and yet, he desires to be, for he’s their Trojan horse. The Peregrine Child is a concept that feeds upon magic, right? So imagine all the magic it has stored within? It’s beautiful, really, the way Stephen’s astral form ignites the fire.

I love these panels. It reminds me of Doctor Strange -  The End, in which his sacrifice ignites and restarts magic. It’s beautiful, I really really really adore this.

With 60′s Stephen’s aid, the sorcerers have enough power to banish their enemies across the dimensions before the child detonates. And so they do. The chapter then finally gives us a moment of Stephen and Clea (YES!)

Here we learn what 60′s Stephen demanded of current Stephen. I’ve waited for this moment for SO LONG, since I last read Sorcerer Supreme #67. And I wonder about those who have been reading comics since then, or even before. 30 years!!!! And they finally, finally have a closure!! Literally, Jed can have my whole soul at this point. I’m just so grateful, even though, yes, Stephen is aware that he will not last.

I love how the chapters end with “the beginning” instead of “the end”. Because even though Stephen dies, this is not the end for him. Also it’s a new chapter in Clea’s life.

Stephen is right, though. It’s not fair for them but there’s literally no one else who could fit the job better than Clea. Let me remind people that a Sorcerer Supreme usually has to learn deity magic in order to become more powerful. Who are the four people Stehen has taught this kind of magic in the past? Jericho, Illyana, Victor and Clea. Jericho was once Sorcerer Supreme but the job took its toll on him. Illyana is the SS of Limbo and she cannot leave her realm unattended (things go south there). And lastly, Victor cannot stand the light of the Eye of Agamotto (also he wasn’t featured in DODS, glad to see that he will make an appearance in Strange #1 soon though heh).

It’s “easier” for Clea to leave the Dark Dimension in the meantime while she finds a way to bring Stephen back, not to mention that she was the one who learned the most while living with Stephen.

My heart is full and empty at the same time. Mostly because we have such a sad ending, but we’re also about to get more real soon, and I can’t wait!! One month, folks!

That said, Jed has been a blessing to my fan’s heart and I cannot stress this enough. There’s literally no one else I’d trust more to write Stephen nowadays. I felt it in my bones that he would do an amazing job as soon as I realized how deeply he admired Stephen through Felicia’s POV. He has been teasing his love for the character for a long time now and the fact that he fixed a relationship that has been ruined since the 90′s? That he has been delivering references and writing him exactly the way I see Stephen? That I’m not crazy for overthinking Stephen’s personality because it’s right there in a canon book? Really. I’m so so so so grateful.

My thanks to him, as well as Lee Garbett, Antonio Fabela and everyone involved in this book. This blog will have a quick shift to focus on Clea since she will be featured often in the next book, but this is not a problem since y’all been known my love for her since day 1 hehe.

10/10. A must read for sure!

[m4zapan]

masterlist 1 for fics I have not made but enjoy with my heart. (completed)

fandoms included:

attack on titan

bnha

atla

lok

marvel

various disney characters

borhap cast

disclaimer: this masterlist is for fanfiction that i’ve read and not written, i just want to keep them organized for when i want to go back to them. all links lead to original artist’s post.

disclaimer 2: if not all, most of the fics listed below are character-x-reader or ship-x-reader. if you don’t like this, this masterlist is not for you.

disclaimer 3: please let me know if any of the links aren’t working, even tho this mlist is mostly for myself.

disclaimer 4: most of the posts here are fem!reader or gn!reader x character but i’m trying to find good fics for male!reader x character for certain of them. i’ll be putting a certain emojis for them since they are minority.

disclaimer 5: i will eventually put the pronouns that the fic has, just gimme time. for now the only labeled ones are male!reader

disclaimer 6: apparently tumblr only lets me put 100 links on one post so i’ll have to work on separate masterlists

disclaimer 7: i’m tagging all authors in comments:)

❤️‍🔥-personal favorites

🍋- smut

🫒-angst

🍓-fluff

🥝-suggestive

☀️- male!reader

fandoms

attack on titan

erwin smith

dating erwin smith would include 🍓 by rekiris (she/her)

in bloom 🍋 by pleasantanathema (she/her)

❤️‍🔥 regulars 🍋🍓 by whats-her-quirk (she/her)

levi ackerman

levi with an s/o who loves hugs 🍓 by mrsackxrman (she/her)

eruri

all for us series (eruri x reader) by dancingazaleas (she/her)

jean kirshtein

prove it 🍋 by piecksz (she/her)

❤️‍🔥 pretty boy 🍋 (no name specified but I pictured jean so it goes here) by papijean (she/her)

colt grice

being bad might feel good 🍋 by murmikaa (can be read as any gender)

full masterlists

❤️‍🔥 masterlist @whats-her-quirk

masterlist @hangekitty

nine muses event masterlist 🍋 @pleasantanathema

masterlist @anlian-aishang

masterlist @erwinslut

masterlist @anime-qveen

masterlist @murmikaa

boku no hero academia

keigo takami (hawks)

basic instinct series by hopelesshawks (she/her)

breaking the ice 🍋 by lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten (she/her)

❤️‍🔥 telling their s/o they’re being clingy (keigo, shoto and katsuki) 🫒🍓 by teesumu (i didn’t check the whole thing, but i think it can be read as any gender. please correct me if i’m wrong)

caring for your hormonally-charged bird pt. 1 🍋 pt. 2 🍋 by tainted-wine (she/her)

winner takes it all 🍋 by kingkatsuki

❤️‍🔥 peg hawks 2020 🍋 by bluecookies02 (she/her)

lil blurb 🍋 by iridescent-queen (can be read as any gender)

what keigo looks for in a partner 🍓 by raes-ramblings (they/them)

spiderman kiss 🍓 by the-family-dissapointment (they/them)

spring heat 🍋 by depraved-empress (she/her)

a nice break 🍋 by keilemlucent (she/her)

tenya iida

❤️‍🔥 handcuffs 🥝 by sugawaraxo

tell daddy pt. 1 tell daddy pt. 2 🍋 by beproperandpunctuate

stress relief 🍋 by tenyaletmelickyourenginesclean

sunny skies and pretty thighs 🍋🍓 by whats-her-quirk

dilf headcanons (tenya, shinso and denki) 🍋 by melanimed

each of my thoughts about you are improper 🍋 by peachiileaf

kinktober: daddy kink 🍋 by whats-her-quirk

❤️‍🔥 sugar daddy 🍋🍓 by whats-her-quirk

tenya’s nsfw alphabet 🍋 by izukus-bby

hitoshi shinso

❤️‍🔥 sweatpants 🥝 by sugawaraxo (she/her)

katsuki bakugo

telling their s/o they’re being clingy (keigo, shoto and katsuki) 🫒🍓 by teesumu (i didn’t check the whole thing, but i think it can be read as any gender. please correct me if i’m wrong)

eijiro kirishima

kiri’s recording 🍋 by rena-bakugou (afab!reader, can be read as any gender)

shoto todoroki

telling their s/o they’re being clingy (keigo, shoto and katsuki) 🫒🍓by teesumu (i didn’t check the whole thing, but i think it can be read as any gender. please correct me if i’m wrong)

katsuki bakugo

❤️‍🔥kinktober: pegging 🍋 by whats-her-quirk (she/her)

no title ☀️🍋 by incculum (he/him)

dominance! ☀️🍋 by rinnybaby (he/him)

mezo shoji

“please, i need you, now” 🍋 by whats-her-quirk

full masterlists

❤️‍🔥 masterlist @whats-her-quirk

❤️‍🔥 masterlist @uwu-iwanttodie

masterlist @kingkatsuki

masterlist @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten

masterlist @shoutaaizawas

masterlist @bluecookies02

masterlist @ultimate-astridwriting

masterlist @manias-wordcount

masterlist @depraved-empress

masterlist @gaysimpsstuff

avatar the last airbender

zuko

the concubine pt. 1 🍋 pt. 2 🍋 by honeyseokj

everything you wanted pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4 pt. 5 (haven’t finished it so I can’t put them in a category) by manias-wordcount

❤️‍🔥 the boiling rock 🍓by beifongsss (she/her)

tied up 🍋 by giyuusonlyfan (afab!reader)

7 for 7 🍋 by honeyseokj (she/her)

full masterlists

masterlist @draqondance

masterlist @manias-wordcount

masterlist @beifongsss

masterlist @mackandcheese24

masterlist by anime-qveen

the legend of korra

full masterlists

masterlist @draqondance

marvel

bucky barnes

stress relief 🍋 by bucksfucks (she/her)

moscow (prequel to brooklyn but can be read individually) 🍋 by wkemeup

brooklyn 🫒🍋 by wkemeup

you’re my heaven 🍋 by angrythingstarlight

kinktober: voyeurism 🍋 sweeterthanthis

monsters in the woods 🍋 by angrythingstarlight

again 🍋 by theimpossibleg1rl

lose control 🍋 by navybrat817

pragma(tic) series (persephone!bucky x hades!reader) by @delicatelyherdreams

biker!bucky makes pancakes with your children 🍓 by angrythingstarlight

steve rogers

Mafia!AU Steve 🥝 by angrythingstarlight

stucky

neighbors can hear (stucky x reader) 🍋 by evanstan-hoe

kinktober: double penetration (stucky x reader) 🍋 by sweeterthanthis

table for three (stucky x reader) 🍓 by shakespeareanqueer

once i get you home (stucky x reader) 🍋 by thosekidswhohuntmonsters

got to stay warm somehow (stucky x reader) 🍋 by notyetneedcoffee

loki

i’m in love with your body 🍋 by fadingfics

sylvie

wingman 🍓 by julesjohansson

don’t think about it 🍋 by startrekkingaroundasgard

tom hiddleston

you can leave your hat on 🍋 by just-the-hiddles

full masterlists

bucky barnes masterlist @navybrat817

masterlist @angrythingstarlight

masterlist @sweeterthanthis

masterlist @navybrat817

masterlist @wkemeup

recommendation masterlist pt. 1 pt. 2 @candy-and-writing

masterlist @notyetneedcoffee

masterlist @evanstarff

disney

full masterlists

onward masterlist @enigmawrappedinhypocrisy

bo-rhap cast

ben hardy

prodigal daughter by andieperrie18

[theclassycandy]

AU!Beckett x Anna - Private High School Headcanons - pt.1

One-sided academic enemies to lovers; Nerdy guy x Popular girl

Here’s the thing - I had originally wanted to make this a fic but I mostly have general ideas rather than specific details so this will be a multipart headcanons list series!

Tags - @sunnyshiftyy

TELL ME YOU YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED! :)))

Just explaining some things about this AU! I recommend reading these before reading my headcanons!

- I know that the Philippines doesn’t have royalty and nobility but I think that in the magickal community in my universe there is. 

- Anna was born into magick, same as Atlas

- Anna and Atlas are fraternal twins, they’re both still girls

- Anna and Atlas were never adopted; both their parents are both Theia and Todd. 

- All of their last names is Solaris. 

- Todd (Anna and Atlas’ biological dad) is old money Filipino nobility; the most powerful and richest family from Asia

- Theia is still a source (though Anna and Atlas don’t know yet but Todd does) and she’s a world-renowned researcher who has revolutionized multiple magickal science fields (because of her being a source)

- I know that in the book, the mom is white but my mc is Filipino, therefore-Southeast Asian, therefore the mom is too. 

- It kinda makes sense tho, because the Philippines is super hot and sunny! 

That’s all you need to know for now! Happy reading! 

Beckett’s POV

- Beckett Harrington had entered the grand hallways of his high school on his first day of school for the third year in a row. 

- Since he was entering his third year of high school, he wondered if he could start viewing lectures from prospective universities. 

- He had placed his bag inside and posted his schedule in his locker. And that was when he had heard some rumbling and whispers near the other end of a hall. 

- He didn’t care to look. It was probably about one of the girls raving about the obnoxious and over-the-top fashion that their parents’ money bought them over a trip or one of the guys that had a noticeable cast because he crashed their father’s Roll Royce; he never paid attention to any of the drama. Why would he? He didn’t needed to get distracted from horny, egotistical and insanely rich teenagers. He planned to make it through high school and graduate the top of his class to secure a future befitting of the Harrington name. 

- The chatter starts getting over the top and he’s heading to class where the crowd is, so might as well look. 

- When he turns is head, he sees a girl. An admittedly very pretty girl. 

- She had medium-tan skin, flowing brown hair with a side part with golden clips, with some other golden jewelry around her neck and hands. And wearing the school uniform and a sleek, black leather bag tossed over her shoulder. 

- “...moved here permanently from the Philippines” “I know her family is fucking loaded...” “Think of all the balls and galas her family would host!” “You think she’s any good at Thief? Imagine the more press we’d get!” “That’s the Solaris girl right?” He heard throughout the halls. 

- Solaris. He had heard that name before. 

- That’s when he stopped in his tracks. Holy fucking shit. 

- That’s the daughter of Theia Solaris. One of his biggest idols in the world of science. 

- She was also the daughter of Todd Solaris. He knew who he was too, though didn’t think of him too much. One of the richest families in all of Asia. He also knew that the father was keen on privacy, obscure even. But that made the entire family all the more alluring. If they are powerful and as influential as he thought, it was a goddamn miracle that they had been able to be stay as low for as long as they had been. 

- He shakes his head and moves on. “You may idolize her mother and heard of her father but for all you know, you may have to watch out for her, don’t get distracted.” 

- He makes it through his first class, it was simply a welcoming/introduction to the course and then a diagnostics test to see where the class is. He knows for sure that he aced it. And he makes it to his next class. 

- Advanced Magickal History - it’s actually normally for 4th years but they give an opportunity to outstanding 3rd years taking a history course to skip a year if their 2nd year history teacher view them as ready. Needless to say, Beckett was one of those outstanding 3rd years. He prided himself on that and was actually super excited to start the class. 

- What he wasn’t excited for was to see the Solaris girl in same class as he was.

-  When the class had started, the two of them instantly stood out as the only 3rd years in the class but the attention had mostly been on Anna. 

- Anna. That was the Solaris girl’s name. Turns out she had studied in the Philippines, then South Korea, then New Zealand and most recently, before coming to America, Singapore. Which is home to some of the most historic landmarks in magickal history and had taken a liking to the subject, which is why she had been bumped up a level too. 

- She had told the class this when the teacher had called her up to the front of the room to introduce herself since she had recently immigrated. Her parents told the school’s teachers that she would adjust better if she introduced herself on the first day at the start of every class to better start conversations with the other students. 

- Beckett thought that she was just using that as an excuse to brag about herself but as she goes on, he realizes that she’s genuinely interesting. It makes him mad that he knows that it would irrational to dislike her because of his jealousy, but he does.  

- Turns out she has a younger fraternal twin named Atlas, who wouldn’t be attending school for a few weeks because she had been finding the move overwhelming. He found it ironic; Anna coped by putting herself out there immediately and her own sister coped by resting her social battery. 

- She locked eyes with him and smiled at the end of her introduction. He thinks he hallucinated it as he quickly turned away, cheeks burning. 

- He had lunch right after that class. What he usually did was eat in the cafeteria and then make his way over to the library for the remainder of the time. 

- He got his tray of food then sat down at his usual table all by himself. 

- He heard laughter from a few tables a away from his. There, it was a group of students, mostly junior but some seniors around Anna. 

- They talked and asked her questions. Through anyone from the outside could see that she was simply trying to eat. To some degree, he felt sorry for her but his jealousy was stronger. He knew that the only reason why they were surrounding her was because they had heard of the Solaris name all over the news, on the names of buildings and world-changing research. The only person that she seemed to actually not be overwhelmed when talking to was a girl sitting beside her - Shreya Mistry. 

- He didn’t know why. The both of the girls may come from ultra-rich and elite families but aside from that they didn’t seem in any way alike. Anna’s parents seemed to have put privacy, especially of their daughters ahead of anything else except when they absolutely had too. The Mistry’s, on the other hand, were unapologetically always putting themselves out there. That, in of itself he could respect them for, but Shreya seemed to particularly be a showoff. He didn’t think lowly of her, but he surely didn’t think highly of her either. 

- He hears a guy’s voice, one of the seniors from their history class ask Anna, “Hey, what university are you planning on applying to once you’re able to?” 

- He hears her respond. “I’m thinking of applying to multiple universities, even some of the attuneless one - mostly ivy leagues and elite colleges in the UK. But for attuned universities, my first choice for sure is Penderghast University!” 

- Fucking Hell. Of all the colleges that she would want to go to, she chooses his dream university. 

Anna’s POV

- She caught his eyes on her when she entered her Advanced Attuned History class and she herself had been sneaking glances too. 

- Even when she was introducing herself to the class, she couldn’t help but pay attention to his gun-metal eyes and she notes that when the sun shines and reflects into his hair, it shines a most brilliant golden-brown. 

- She even notices that he sits alone during lunch in the cafeteria. 

- Once she finally finishes eating after being bombarded with questions from the other students. 

- She doesn’t mind their questions too much tho, she did want for them to get to know her, after all. But she would appreciate finishing her food much faster. 

- At her locker, which is across from Shreya’s, she asks her about the boy from the history class. 

“So, anyone in particular that you could see yourself getting acquainted with?” Shreya asks.   

“So formal, Shreya! It’s only the first day and  everyone’s been so nice!” Anna laughs at her friend’s formalities. 

- The Solarises had asked Shreya’s parents if she could help Anna and Atlas adjust to the school life in America. 

- Not at Shreya’s expense though, she and Anna had actually been really good friends for a long time now. The only time Anna’s family would use the private jet for a one-night event was for the Mistry’s galas, same for the Mistrys and for the events set up by the Solarises. The two of them had became friends through their shared interest in fashion and kept in contact even in different areas of the world. 

- They would get invited to the same galas pretty often though, so it wasn’t that hard to stay friends. 

The Mistry had smiled at the sun-att through the reflection of the mirror in her locker and shrugs. 

“Still, there must be at least one person that seems to fit the standards of the mysterious Solarises.”

Anna rolls her eyes before anyone shutting her locker and turning around. She loves her parents so much but she hated how they obsess about keeping a low profile and hated even more when it’s brought up. But she knows that Shreya was joking and does want to ask about the guy in her class. 

“Fine, there’s a guy in my second period Advanced Magickal class who is also a third year. He’s pretty tall, has neat brown hair and...”

Shreya snorts as she cuts her off. “And has a resting bitch face of looking permanently constipated?” 

“Well, that’s a harsh way to describe him but, yeah. That’s pretty accurate.” 

“Ugh, that’s Beckett Harrington, resident complete-dick-for-no-reason type.” 

Anna’s about to say something before Shreya holds up a finger to stop her. 

“And before you think that I’m being unnecessarily rude, don’t. He thinks that being smart justifies having a terrible attitude even towards people he hasn’t gotten to know. It doesn’t help that he’s been top of the class for the past 2 years in a row. I know I can’t control you but at least try to keep watch for him, okay? Remember, I’m partially responsible if your social life takes a hit here.” Shreya playfully punches Anna’s shoulder.  

“Fine, I’ll try to restrain myself from befriending assholes.” Anna says sarcastically.

That’s when the both of them link arms and walk to their next class together. 

If only she knew how the rest of her year would turn out...

Part 2 coming soon!!

[lesbian-helen-gansey]

books I read in June & July

This is late because I’ve been on a self-imposed social media hiatus for the past few weeks! I’m technically still not back, I just got on to post this. My weeks being semi-offline have been relatively uneventful. I have watched pretty much every Netflix documentary I’m even remotely interested in and have regressed to listening to the podcasts I used to listen to in high school. I’ve completed a few sudokus and gotten stuck and quit a ton of sudokus. I’ve mostly been using my concerta to play mahjong tiles on my laptop with a laser focus. Staying off all social media entirely has so far been the only effective way of preventing me from doom scrolling, and it seems (at least from my daily listen of NPR up first) that there remains of plethora of things to doom scroll about, so I am going to try to wait a little longer before returning. The enchanting lure of Tumblr does call me tho. To quote John Milton "God therefore left him free, set before him a provoking object, ever almost in his eyes; herein consisted his merit, herein the right of his reward, the praise of his abstinence. Wherefore did he create passions within us, pleasures round about us, but that these rightly tempered are the very ingredients of virtue?”

The Harbor by Katrine Engberg (4/5)

This is a crime novel that takes place in Copenhagen about detectives searching for a missing child. I think that it’s actually the third book in a series about this team of police officers, but it made sense as a stand alone having not read the others. It was pretty slow, and hard to get into, but I did end up really liking it. It was hard to get into it, but once I was in it, I was really in it. I read a lot of thrillers, and I find many of them to be sort of absurd in an attempt to be clever. I concede that it’s hard to think of an ending that is both surprising and satisfying, but I still think many of the current authors don’t do a particularly good job with the task. This one, however, built to a really interesting ending. It was both well-foreshadowed and sufficiently surprising.  I think I just dislike how a lot of thrillers and crime dramas build to something that is an almost absurdly dramatic climax in an attempt to, I don’t know, shock the reader or raise the stakes, and I really appreciated that this wasn’t that. I’ll probably read the others in the series. (adult fiction)

Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino (5/5)

I liked this a surprising amount. I’ve grown sort of jaded with the personal essay scene, so I was a little skeptical about how much I would like a book of essays from a New Yorker writer, but I have really liked the Jia Tolentino essays I’ve read online, so I decided to read it, and I loved it. I find it difficult to find thoughtful, and nuanced essays about feminism, but these essays were really interesting. The kind of essays that are willing to hold a lot of things in their hands and aren’t interested in driving home some argument but rather examining thoughts. “Always be Optimizing” is one of my favorite essays from the book, and it just has such interesting thoughts about the influence of capitalism on feminism. I found Tolentino to be really self-aware and begrudgingly lovable. Almost against my wishes, I left this book really loving Jia Tolentino. (Before reading this, I had found her instagram incredibly annoying bc I am a judgmental person, but now I’m entirely endeared. Too bad I’m not on instagram anymore to see her photos.) (creative nonfiction)

Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (5/5)

This book is like, gay gay. I thought people were calling this book “lesbian vampires” like it had gay subtext 21st century readers were reading into. But no. Gay for real. Gayer than gay romances published today. Gonna have portions of it as the selected readings for my wedding one day. They probably won’t let me get married in a church if I do, but worth it. If you can’t get enough of Lucy and Mina in your inbox, this is for you. (adult fiction)

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown (4/5)

Brene Brown Stans rise. This book basically defines and categorizes a bunch of emotions to help us better understand what we’re feeling, which Brown says helps us process our experiences. This wasn’t a favorite of mine by her, mostly because it’s a little more of a reference book, but I still ended up with a bunch of hastily typed notes in my notes app of things I need to remember from it. (nonfiction)

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (5/5)

This book is so fucking good. You have to read this book. I think it’s probably best to go into it with as little info as possible. It’s hard to describe without giving away things that make it exciting. When my best friend recommended it to me, she described it as if Madeline Miller wrote a psychological thriller. She all but forced my other friend and I to read it, and subsequently all three of us have been evangelizing about it. We’ve all but started some sort of mlm of our own personal downlines spreading the word about Piraniesi. I’m currently making my therapist read it. This book made me say “holy shit” and “oh my god” out loud as I was reading. (adult fiction)

How to do Nothing by Jenny Odell (3/5)

This was a little too conceptual and philosophical for me. But the author does love birds as much as I do, which I loved. (Also I recently discovered that there are apps that basically let you Shazam bird calls. This is one of the greatest discoveries of my life. I’ll never be bored again. I’ll be outside shazaming the Sparrow songs.) The book is basically about pushing back against the capitalistic urge to always be productive and instead to really engage in the world around you, which I have, subsequently, been trying to do more of. I’ve been spending a lot more time than usual almost moved to tears by how many different shades of green trees are. One of my favorite things is when the leaves blow in the wind, and you can see the undersides have a whiter color, and the contrast between the tops and bottoms of the leaves blowing looks so dynamic. (nonfiction)

Nice Girls by Catherine Dang (3/5)

Speaking of thrillers with over the top endings. I was actually pretty into this book until the end. I think I had to stop and roll my eyes more than once during the climax. It seemed like it was building to something interesting, and then, at the big reveal, the author took like, the least interesting route, which was disappointing. I don’t know, it was fine. I don’t know why I keep reading like, the women’s thriller genre when I always feel meh about them. (adult fiction) 

Peril at End House by Agatha Christie (4/5)

Not my very favorite Christie, but I still liked it. I did find it a little difficult to keep up with who all the characters were, but that’s par for the course for me with Christie lol. I wish I had more to say about it, but I really don’t. Poirot meets a young women who has had several attempts on her life, and he interjects himself to try to save her. Maybe one day Poirot will go on vacation without getting mixed up in a murder, the poor guy. He can’t go anywhere. (adult fiction)

Feminism is For Everybody by bell hooks (5/5)

Everything about feminism that I read from bell hooks I’m just like, yes. Fucking yes. She gets it. I think (hope) everyone is finally realizing the extent to which the modern feminist movement is slightly spineless and had been eaten away at by capitalism, and this book is like, back to basics. It’s time to end lifestyle feminism. (nonfiction)

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie (5/5)

I loved this one. A man is murdered in his study and a local doctor helps Poirot, who recently moved to the town, solve the mystery. Super clever, couldn’t put it down. I don’t ever expect that I’m going to solve Christie’s mysteries, but I felt truly had by this one, in the best way possible. She got me good. (adult fiction)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (5/5)

Honesty, Pride and Prejudice is a page turner. Having seen the movie a lot combined with Austen’s writing style, I knew I would like it, but I didn’t expect to like, can’t-put-it-down-love-it, but I totally did. I could not stop reading it, and the whole time I was like, girl you know Pride and Prejudice how are you on the edge of your seat about this, but it was so good. Austen knows how to write a romance. She perfected the craft in 1813. (It also got me back into the Lizzie Bennet Diaries which is somehow still super fun all these years later). (adult fiction)

Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke (3/5)

Told through the lens of her patient’s stories of addiction, a psychiatrist writes about how modern society’s easy access to dopamine is actually making us more unhappy. A lot of the book focuses on how we are able to get high dopamine rewards very easily from things like social media without any of the effort it would usually take to get a dopamine reward, and this is skewing our ability to find happiness in more mundane things. There were definitely parts of this book that I thought were super interesting and important and have encouraged me to spend more time without any sort of distraction and to not be so pain and boredom averse. That being said, the book really lost me in the last half. I feel like it kind of goes off in a different direction that feels less relevant. (nonfiction)

The Woman in the Library by Sulari Gentil (4/5)

A meta-feeling mystery about a writer writing a book about a writer who is in the Boston Public Library when a woman is found dead. She and the group of people she meets while they get wrapped into trying to solve the mystery. I really liked the story within the story and the connection between the fictional author and the mystery. I don’t think it actually meets the definition of a cozy mystery, but it felt more like that than a sort of traditional mystery or thriller. I found the main character slightly annoying, but it didn’t bother me all that much. (adult fiction)

Running with Lions by Julian Winter (3/5)

This was a cute book. It’s a ya romance about two boys on a soccer team who reconnect at their team’s summer practice camp. It was a little young for me, which is why I didn’t love it. If I had read it at like, fifteen I probably would have been a lot more invested in it. It was cute though. I just, don’t really connect with a character worried about graduating high school anymore. It’s a little harder to get into. (ya fiction)

Rush by Lisa Patton (3/5)

This book is about girls and their moms going through sorority rush at the university of Mississippi, which is an incredible concept. Sorority rush is fascinating, and dramatic, and cutthroat. However, this book, especially the second half, stops being about the drama of rush and starts being “white girls discover racism and then decide to fix it.” They do fix, by the end of the book. Don’t worry, the white girls do solve racism. The parts of this book that were about rush were great, the parts that attempted to be about race were just, borderline painful. I think this is probably what would have passed for a “brave” book about race in like, 2011. Except it was written in 2018. (adult fiction)

[womenofwonder]

RWBY characters races for AUs set in our world.

How I’m going to do this: three things. The first, the city they live in Remnant. This is the least important because that leaves us with only five…maybe six places compared to our world’s hundreds of countries.

The second will be the original of their names, which they’ll have to keep in the AUs, meaning that they need some culture background for them.

The third will be their fairy tale origins.

So to start, Ruby Rose:

She lives in Vale, which is similar to France (I’ll explain why in another post maybe), but technically grew up in patch, a small island off the coast of Vale. I have no idea about Patch’s culture as we hardly ever see it, so I’m going to skip this one. We also don’t know if either Summer or Taiyang was originally from Vale.

We know Taiyang is Chinese from his name, so I’m going to say she’s half Chinese. I also wrote a western au once and really love the idea of Taiyang being an Asian Redneck…so I think I’m going to say Ruby is very, very southern just because that would be adorable.

But if you don’t want that idea I generally see Taiyang being either Asian-American or Asian-French, or Asian-British if your doing a HP AU. Summer is harder to pin down, but Red Riding Hood was originally an Italian fable, so I’m going to have her be Italian or Italian-American.

Weiss:

Weiss is German, although making her simply white America/British would work. I could see her being Russian too in some AU because Atlas fits well as Russia. For American works, Pennsylvania has quite the German population and coal mines, so that works pretty well for her.

Blake is really complicated. From Remment Australia which is culturally SEA (south East Asian), has an English name but parents with a Hindu-inspired names, but neither looking vaguely Indian. I’m going to assume her family are immigrants (as they are in cannon I think) to Australia, maybe even changed their name to help them fit in. Immigrants from where? Well, India is an option, but I like to think Malaysia. They have a large Indian and Chinese population, and I like to think Blake is a mixture of Chinese, Malay, and Indian ethnicities, from Malaysia and immigrated to Australia. And if you think this is crazy or unrealistic, you haven’t seen anything yet. The sheer mix of cultures I’ve seen growing up as an ex-pat is insane. This isn’t too crazy.

For Yang, we already have Taiyang as an Asian red-neck. Or at least I do. Raven and Qrow are going to be a little harder to pin down, but I’m think bandits getting replaced by mafia. Which mafia? I don’t know, take you’re pick. Branwen is Welsh, but I can’t think of a Welsh mafia. Coming from Mistral I would see them as being Triad, not Yakuza because Raven’s gang is famous for being less than coordinated.

If you need a logical reason for Yang having blonde hair, Taiyang could be only half Chinese, half blonde (blonde is race right?).

Either way I see Raven operating in an American city like New York or Detroit.

This would mean Yang is fully Chinese ethnically.

JNPR:

Jaune’s name and inspiration are all French. However his mother does come from Mistral (I think), so I do see him being half Chinese, but nationally French. It’s also funny to imagine him with a French accent.

Pyrrha: she’s Greek or maybe Greek-American with her parents being recent immigrants. Argus seems to Remnent-Greece and her name and fairy tale are greek.

Nora: she should be Scandinavian. I feel like in a MCU AU she’s Thor’s daughter. But she also grew up as a street rat in Mistral, which is hard to fit in our world. Therefore I’m going to have her in America, the great melting pot (and also America seems to be more like Mistral than any other Remnent king with our state system), and she going to ethically Scandinavian but knowing nothing of her culture due to her upbringing.

Ren: obviously Chinese, but I might have him be American-Chinese to fit his story nicely in with Nora’s.

Others:

Coco: we’re all ignoring that she’s based off Coco Channel, so let’s make her a LA girl

Velvet: Australia, because of the accent. Or maybe English because that is her story origin

Fox: he’s difficult, because tribes are pretty rare in modern AUs. But his story could work for various things. He’s one of the few black characters so he could come from practically any African tribe (I’m currently going with Hausa because it’s one of the few I know anything about). His name is based off ‘the fox and the hound’ which is a rare American story, so he could also be from a Native American tribe if you want the AU to be more American-based.

Yatsuhashi: Japanese, this one is thankfully easy.

Sun: Chinese. He comes from a tribe as well, but I can’t think of any nomadic Chinese tribes except the Uyghurs. Making Sun a Uyghur doesn’t make much sense but it will serve to piss off certain people on the internet. And now this is going to be taken down, isn’t it? Oh wait, this is tumbrl. This is anarchy. It won’t. Forgot why I liked this place for a second.

Scarlet: sorry for the rambling there. Anyway, Scarlet is definitely English. “I hope I don’t get sand in my shoes.”

Sage: well, he’s black, but other then that we have nothing to go one. He’s also from Mistral but that doesn’t really work? If Mistral is America as well as China I guess we can make him African American. Or whatever else works best for the AU. He might be Indian too now that I think of it. Or even Maori. Really options are limitless here.

Neptune: Yeah, so probably just American, but does have both a French last name and an Italian first name. So probably ethically American (aka white mutt). Also he lives near a port, I think I’m gonna gone with him being from Tacoma Washington because I am.

Flynt: African American

Neon: Japanese-American because of her meme (it started as part of Japanese pop song on YouTube, the latter of which is America summed up in one invention)

Oscar: Hispanic-American, he just looks it. And I’m guessing he lives in Kansas for obvious reasons. His last name isn’t Hispanic but their could be a lot of reasons for that. Or he could be Native American (Pawnee, Cheyenne, and Osage are all Native American tribes in Kansas).

Penny: well if she’s still a robot she probably stays white, but if you want her human in this AU she might end up being half black as Pietro is, although she also could just be adopted. I guess the later makes more sense, huh? I figure she’s American, with her dad working with a ‘well meaning’ but ultimately corrupt government. Probably living in DC, as that has both the government and the poverty issues.

Emerald: oohh, boy. This is hard. Sustrai is Basque, and Aladdin is a French addition to an Arabian story, she herself is dark skinned with anime features that are super unhelpful for this sorta thing.

I have three ideas. Brazilian, mostly as there’s no South American themed RWBY characters I can think of, and it’s diverse enough that someone looking like Emerald would fit. Secondly, for American centered stories she’s just an orphan with no idea of her ethnicity. Or she could be African, Indian, Pacific Islander, or Hispanic or some mixture between those four. It’s honestly really hard to tell. In my fanfic she’s from Suriname and ethnically 1/4 Indian, 1/2 Creole, and 1/4 Javanese.

Ilia: Sioux (Native American). Ilia means a lot of things in a lot of different languages, and Amitola mean rainbow in Sioux, so I decided to just stick with that.

Mercury: American, white mutt American. I’m guessing New York or Philli for where he grew up, it seems like a place where he’d be comfortable

Neo: the new novel reveals her father lived in vale (btw I haven’t read it, I’m just getting this off the internet) and her mother was a assassin who’s origins aren’t known. She doesn’t really have a fairy tale. So I’m going to go with British or French (thank RWBY thoughts for the first one) although in an American AU she works as just a white American.

Robyn: depends on what Atlas is in this AU, but probably German or American.

Qrow: I already mentioned he’s probably Chinese due to being from Mistral. It’s a bit weird to think of him as Asian, but not as weird as it to think of Raven as white, so I’ll take it. Although I do like the idea of him being American Irish, that’s fun.

Winter: whatever Atlas is in this AU, German or American, although British and Russian would work well too.

Maria: Mexican

Salem: If you want a AU where she’s just a normal person then New England or Italian for her story origin

Watts: British

Tyrian: uh…I have no idea, but he looks white. And he kinda has a British accent? I want him to be southern for the accent tho. Probably just another crazy American

Cinder: her fairy tale is French but her origin is Chinese. Also, Cinderella doesn’t really have an origin, it’s an ancient story with every culture having at least one Cinderella story. So I’m going to say Chinese.

Hazel: American, from the Midwest. He’s darkish so maybe he’s a POC? Part Native American or Hispanic? Idk or really care I can’t stand Hazel

Roman Torchwick: American-Italian, he runs/works for the mafia

Ozpin: American because of the whole wizard-of-Oz-thing or French, because he seems to have come from Vale.

Glynda: American or French for the same reasons Ozpin is

Oobleck: Jewish American (because Dr. Seuss was)

Professor Port: Russian, due to his fairy tale, or English, due to his style

Taiyang: already said he’s a red-neck Asian.

Raven: depending on whether you want her to be white or not, either Chinese or Irish American, like I already said.

Cordovin: Karen

Ironwood: again, depends on Atlas in the AU. Either American or German…maybe Russian

Clover: Irish-American (or German, obviously the ace-ops depend on where Atlas is. I’m just going to do the rest of them assuming Atlas is American because Germany isn’t that diverse)

Harriet: African-American, I guess. It kinda messes with the story because Harriet is supposed to be privileged, which doesn’t really work in this AU, but she’s also obviously black.

Elm: Just normal American, maybe greek-American because of the Aesop fable themes

Vine: Tibetan based on his design

Marrow: either African-American or Pakistani/Indian-American. (I’m personally going for Pakistani)

Klein: english. All butlers are English. It’s a rule.

Pietro: African-American

Johanna: Pakistani or Indian American

Fiona: Jewish-American (kinda random but while she’s obviously white she also needs to be a minority for the Faunus thing to work)

May: normal upper glass American/German

Ghira: Half Malay, Half Indian, from Malaysia but immigrated to Australia later in life

Kali: half Chinese, half Indian, but also from Malaysia

Adam: much like Fiona I’m going to assume he’s Jewish due to him being white but still needing to be a minority. German or American, again, depending on where Atlas is. Or he could be Chinese, even though it doesn’t work with his name, due to the theory that he was trafficked much like Cinder. I’m going with ethically Jewish though

Sienna Khan: Indian

Huh, I actually finished that. I’m pretty sure I was accidentally racist multiple times and apologize in advance,

I’m exhausted and starving and not thinking straight. But anyway, here it is. Your very messy guide to modern RWBY AUs. I swear this was insane to sort out.

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

Weed garden part 2?

I told y'all last time that i cut a bunch of stuff so here's some of that that I thought was good enough to post I don't really think it's as good as the first part but hey I got to write these too simping for each other

she lays down beside him resting her head on his chest "he's really warm," she thinks and then drifts off to the most peaceful sleep she's had in a long time

Ruby's dreams are at least today peaceful and mostly mundane  unusual but welcome things such as her and Blake waking up early in beacon her and ren doing cardio her and Oscar sitting on a bench somewhere as she nerds out about a gun she saw they were much nicer than she was used to and much more vivid something wakes her from her sleep she thinks she hears a camera take a photo but when she looks no one is there but her and Oscar they've shifted in there sleep he's laying on her shoulder with one arm at his side the other laid over her she has hers wrapped around his waist this is really nice she's always been a cuddle bug her and yang would cuddled for hours when they were little or if her dad took a nap on the couch ruby was right there with him she usually didn't fall asleep tho she liked to watch people sleep the peaceful way there faces looked made her happy she looked at Oscars it was buried  nose up in her shoulder but his mouth wore the cutest little smile she held him a little tighter she really liked him but what if they got together and they got to know eachother better and he didn't like her no Oscar isn't like that she loved the way he looked at her like she just hung the stars for him and it was usually for inoculates  things like helping him reach things are showing him something during training his wait shifted and he sorta rubbed his head against her like a cat she held in a snort at his adorable behavior she could hold him like this forever she did look forward to the blush on his face when he woke up tho she might take a little too much pride in being able to make him blush but any girl could get Oscar to blush it was almost too easy she remembers feeling stupidly jealous when yang put her arm on his shoulder or when neon kept calling him cutie one day after training so she decides just to watch him sleep he looks so peaceful 

Oscars dreams are scary as always or at least they should be visions of Salem incinerating  his farm run through his head he's chased down a hallway full of gears by his friends covered in Grimm blood but for some reason he's not scared and the last thing he remembers is ruby laughing that cute laugh she does when she's trying not too he groggily opens his eyes and lifts his head only come face to face with a silver eyed reaper this would be scary to most people cause she operates a high impact sniper at sythe it was scary to him because he has a crush the size of atlas on her he recoils back a little his face flushing red from being close enough to feel her breath on his lips she smiles "morning I didn't want to wake you" he fully wakes and feels her arms unwrap from his waist and the warmth leaves his body as she sits up he follows pushing himself off his elbows "how long were we out" he says rubbing his eyes "oh I was out for like maybe 2 you slept for 3 or 4" she says admiring the Crimson hue in his cheeks  "why didn't you wake me" he responds she shrugs her shoulders "I was comfy and you looked cute" she slips she was going to say that he looked comfy  he looks down playing with the collar of his sweater "shit I made him uncomfortable"  she thinks then she just barely sees his sheepish grin and that fear is put to bed he looks back up not able to meet her eyes "um i think your really cute too" "his face is so red and he's being so sweet  God dammit yang was right"  she thought and rested her hand on his after he put them back in his lap he flinches but then holds hers she knows Oscar isn't someone probably won't just come out and say he feels so she decides to make the first real move "hey um oscar" she says cursing her own reddening cheeks he nods achknolafong her as he often did when focused but still listening  his eyes transfixed on there hands "uh I" she takes a deep breath before finishing "i really like you like a whole lot and I've been wanting to tell you for a while now but I could never find therighttimeandiwasworriedyoudidntlikemeandthatourfriendshipmightchangeandifyoureallydontlikemethatsfineandthatwontchangeourfriendshiporantrhibg" she says way too much way to fast even for Oscar who can usually keep up with her fast talking he looks up from their   hands clearly confused but smiling and is silent for a moment "i uh didn't really get like half of that but I like you too ruby I'm not you know the best at this but I really would like to you know do stuff normal people do like we'll uh i don't know" she beams squeezing his hand "does that mean it won't be weird if I call you cute" he does a half grin "I guess but don't over do it my ego can only get so big and uh do you think maybe I could like cook you dinner or something normal teenagers do that right" he says playing with his shirt collar "well most teenagers can't cook like you but yes please does that mean I could maybe kiss you sometimes" she notices out the corner of her eye the very top  of a scroll its camera recording them from the top bunk  without a word she had gotten for the hang out  one of the cans of sodas from the side table Oscar looked where she did and his face got somehow even redder while that was cute someone was spying on them she  reeled back and as hard as she could chucked the can at it hitting it dead on and flinging it across the room "oh shit run" she hears the voice of her sister say as yang falls down off the top bunk she stands up and starts chasing yang around the room hitting her with a pillow as Blake who was also on the top bunk cackles like a mad woman and Oscar sits in stunned silence

[the-darklings]

Not gonna lie, Lucien grabbed me by the throat since the first attack on V and then my heart by the sewers scene ;; if you have time, could you mayhabs give us Luci stans a lil something with V? 👀

nature of doubt.

⤫ notes: so this is actually based in that original world I keep alluding to post-coa and uh,, Lucien and V actually have a very different relationship here (tho this piece isn’t considered entirely canon for them, either) and you’re getting a backseat into that relationship. Lucien/Reader is established here - more or less, considering how he is.

⤫ pairing: lucien x f!reader (+clara (oc!v)

⤫ word count: 4.4k+

“You can’t keep doing this.”

Your feet halt sharply at the sound of those words, startled into an acute silence.

The night hums around you, and you lean against the side of the greenhouse, peering through the blur of the glass. Humid heat keeps you warm from the night chill and you slow your breaths in order to hear better. You’ve come up to the terrace because you couldn’t sleep for the life of you, caught in your turbulent thoughts as you were.

Lucien being back should make you happy but something is different this time. You’ve kissed him and hugged the moment he came close enough to touch, and that might have led to a long and strenuous session in your shared bed. Bites and kisses and nails against the skin—just him, raw and passionate, and…

He always comes back from his disappearances with an appetite of a starved man—cruel, dangerous, prowling thing. Always dancing on that line of pain and pleasure. Never pushing more than you ask but there had been a strange detachment this time, a drift you know he felt as well.

Something, this time, felt emptier than usual. For both of you.

Coming up here so late has been more about getting some fresh air to clear your mind and get rid of that gnawing, traitorous whisper of soft brown hair. Hazel eyes and shoulder against yours when you replanted one of hundred plants in her greenhouse.

And it’s because of that, that you recognise the owner of that low, smooth feminine voice that speaks.

“Doing what?”

Of course, it’s him. Of course, the two most nocturnal members of the Pit of Vipers are the ones you have managed to stumble upon.

Instincts scream at once. They’re beyond dangerous individually much less together, and if they caught you spying they might be angry. Disappointed. That thought sits like curdled milk inside your stomach, tart and bitter.

Still. There is something that moves your body. Some need, a draw.

Leaning over the edge of the greenhouse, you spot the shadowed figures of Clara and Lucien. The latter stands with his back to you, his wispy blonde hair loose in the wind, a mess from your running your fingers through it earlier. Hungry. You had been just as hungry and just as needy for his touch.

Yet for some reason it…

It hadn’t been the same.

You love him so much, you do, and you think that maybe—just maybe—there is something inside his chest too. A small, fond thing you so rarely catch glimpses of but know is there.

Clara, on other hand, stands with her arms crossed over her chest, one side of her face bathed with terrace lights. It cuts a terrible, steely line—one dark, one light; and you suppose that’s only right too.

She’s tense though, her stare set as she drills holes into the side of Lucien’s pale head.

You know full well that is a terrifying position to be in. Her stare is downright chilling on a good day. Even more so when she’s angry. It’s made worse, you think, by the fact that she has a face that looks like it should be smiling. It’s a face made for kindness.

She hasn’t smiled once since you’ve met her. It stings more because you know she used to. Noah told you as much once; a sad, thoughtful expression crumpling his sharp, friendly features with sorrow.

Not since him.

The one no one speaks of openly, and certainly not Clara herself. A man with glaciers in his eyes, and tar-black heart.

“Disappearing like you do,” she says flatly, a fine lace of irritation in her voice.

Lucien clicks his tongue, shaking his head in amusement. “It’s what I’ve always done,” he returns dismissively. And you know that it’s an answer that will not go down well. He disappeared for so long you were starting to doubt he would ever return. Clara, since then, had been even more solitary and distant. You’ve always thought that Lucien needed her more than she needed him but this disappearance has proven different. “How is this time any different?”

She doesn't respond right away. It’s as if considering his question, wondering if he actually means those words and you swallow.

You shouldn't be here.

This is a private conversation and yet…

You’ve been just as disappointed by his actions. And you know that if you asked he would not answer.

He answers to no one but her—his leader, the only one he trusts and has chosen—and perhaps that’s the only way for you to get a glimpse into him as well. Find out where his head is at.

It was not so long ago that their bond used to make you jealous and insecure. A tiny part of you still has doubts—it’s hard not to, not with the looks they share, the mute acceptance between them, the way you sometimes just find them sitting together, shoulder to shoulder—but ever since Lucien’s last disappearance something has changed.

“You were gone for months,” she states briskly, her voice icy, and a shiver races down your spine hearing it. She doesn’t raise her voice. It’s smooth, controlled; a pleasant, ordinary string of words. She stands there, and simply looks at him, and it’s terrible somehow. “Even Step couldn’t find you. I couldn’t find you,” she adds after a slight pause, the tiniest of catches in her voice.

You’ve heard that catch a handful of times in the past. Mostly in the shadowed greenery of her greenhouse. Where you sometimes found the viper curled up and resting, hiding away from the world. You’ve tried sitting by her like Lucien sometimes does. It made you feel special, near euphoric the first time she allowed you to hold her hand in silent comfort. The first time she leaned her head on your shoulder.

The way she had sagged against you—atlas on her shoulders, expression fragile, soft—had stuck with you for a long time. So long, you can’t help but see it now.  

This is the first fracture you’ve seen in her demeanour in weeks though. She’s so controlled for how Lucien is untamed. But demons that stir under the Viper’s skin might be worse than his and somehow…

That thought is as thrilling as it is terrifying.  

The blonde doesn’t take much note of her words. Still staring out towards the twinkling New York streets. “Yes, I imagine it was rather annoying for him,” he says, deliberately avoiding her softer admission, an open fear. “Such a pity.”

It's wrong to say. Right now when every muscle in Clara’s body seems to have gone so taut with tension she bristles. Then, follows fire.

It thickens the air and even some distance away, hugged and hidden away by the shadows, you can feel something volatile bubbling in the air between them. It becomes near suffocating the longer Lucien remains impassive and disinterested in their conversation.

You’ve never seen him show fear, but perhaps, this once, he’s aiming for someone who can remind him of the feeling.

He knows it, too, you conclude when his head finally turns in her direction.

“I do it for you,” he snarls lowly, practically spitting the words, his grip on the railing tightening. “If I didn’t leave, I would skin your loyal little snakies and give you their skins as a present. By the time I came back to myself, it would already be too late, and you would hate me for taking them away from you. You would kill me for it, and maybe I would let you.”

Your heart slams into your throat at his calm, chillingly logical explanation.

You knew—to some degree—that him leaving was about protecting others as much as it was about allowing Lucien that room to roam. It’s hard to feel trapped, tied down, to something when you’ve spent years being treated as no better than an animal.

It makes you value that freedom just that much more.  

Your lungs burn yet you feel too afraid to inhale lest you miss her reply.

The woman is silent for a leaden, disturbing moment and you feel your heartbeat accelerate the longer she remains quiet.

“Do you really think you mean so little to me?” comes her chilling whisper of a question and goosebumps tickle across the length of your arms. “That I would kill you?”

She laughs but it’s an unpleasant, cold thing that makes you think of a viper circling her prey and Lucien’s chin tilts at the challenge, at the mocking tilt of her inquiry. “You may act like you don’t care for them but could you really kill them? Just like that?” she demands, her tone sharpening as if she’s wielding one of her blades. “Kill her?”

Your heart thuds; once, twice.

You’re not sure what you feel more surprised at.

The fact that she’s pushing or that she sounds so furious at the mere prospect.

It’s them, you remind yourself hurriedly, ignoring the flush of heat you feel in response to the honeyed, poisonous edge you catch in her words, not what she’s saying.

Yet it feels like a weak argument even in your own mind.  

Lucien pushes back from the railing, clenching his fingers experimentally, humming lightly under his breath before offering his verdict, “I won’t even hesitate.”

“You’re lying.”

It’s sharp, and immediate dismissal. So knowing that you don’t even doubt the call out because she knows him better than anyone. They’re two beasts snapping jaws and snarling and it makes for a beautiful sight. Captivating despite the danger. 

The terror you should feel around them doesn’t come. That should probably concern you more. You’re not helpless but getting even more tangled with these people is a death sentence.

Lucien steps closer to the leader of the Vipers, and it’s only then that you notice that his white shirt is still unbuttoned. His skin often feels cold to the touch but he’s never once complained about it. The pale canvas of his flesh is marred by scars and faint bruises alike. You’ve tasted them, traced them with your tongue just a few hours ago—so even though you can’t see them clearly, you know they’re there.

“Funny thing. Lies. Like you lie to yourself daily, I imagine, hm?” Lucien’s voice slices through the night air, fills it, stretches it into something even tenser. “You walk around like you want to destroy everything in your path yet you still hold yourself back,” he spits knowingly, his voice slipping into harshness, and his eyes narrow, inspecting the woman before him intently. “He still clings to you and you let him. Still love him.”

He spits the word love out so hatefully you nearly flinch. Like no bigger crime could be committed against him.

His throat grows tense, tendons trembling, and in that moment he looks near feral. Livid.

Because she’s in pain, you think sadly, and he wasn’t there for her, and now she carries it.

It saddens you.

“You have no right,” it’s a warning, a hiss of a statement.

Lucien comes undone in a span of a second.

His arm snaps out, locking behind the slim curve of her neck, his fingers sinking into the nape. He doesn’t drag her forward, he drags himself to her. She lets him, and that surprises you more. She watches him from beneath her heavy, quietly furious brow, silent.

“I have every right!” he fires back, his stare brimming, and he briefly presses their foreheads together but his next words are cruel, “When we crawled out of that filth it was you and me. And then you let some fucker steal you. Do this to you.”

She rips out of his grip with speed that’s a blur, her teeth flashing, “Then maybe you shouldn’t have abandoned me!”

Pain in her voice is like a whip against your skin and heart. They rip into you, linger under your skin. Is that how she felt? All this time. Alone. With no one to turn to.

It...

“You know that’s rich, Lucien,” she continues, her voice a low growl. “You really think I don’t see how you are with (Name)? Did you really assume you could hide something like that from me?”

Your gut coils at her tone. She sounds...small.

And then her words…

Oh.

Oh.

She must think…

Does she feel like Lucien is replacing her with you? It’s true that you have bonded and grown closer together but…

God, doesn’t she realise no one could come even close to her for Lucien? You’ve accepted their bond long ago though it took time and a lot of battling insecurities that still crop up to do so.

It’s startling to realise that she has even more of those. That beneath a woman who has carved her way into power with such ruthless efficiency is still, at the end of the day, just human. Capable of wounds and bleeding. Doubts and diffidence. It gives her a different light, a human light, one that makes you want to hold her hand again. Feel the fold of her long fingers around yours.

“Ah, my pretty girl,” Lucien begins, sighing softly, his voice silky with tendrils of desire, hunger. So he’s concluded the same, then. Based on his sudden change in topic. “She’s a greedy thing. I see how she watches you, too. A heart so eager and big she doesn’t know what to do with it. So eager to give...and take,” he purrs, his tongue wetting his lips, and you choke down a breath at the memory of that searing tongue on your body. “At least I can say that about her. Can you say the same about your spider?”

You suck in a breath, holding it in your lungs, wide-eyed and unsteady.

Why is he goading her like this? Does this truly get under his skin so much? No—you know it does. Lucien has a greediness of a child who never got toys or enough food growing up. Eager hands and darker eyes. Constantly clawing for more, claiming everything he touches and hoarding it, ready to bite and snarl at any hand that tries to take his things away from him.

He’s considered her his own long before he even knew you. That same silent burn of mine, mine, mine rages in his gaze every time he looks at either of you.

“Do not speak of him, Lucien,” this time her voice is soft, deceptively so, a fragment of a warning that’s the last second of stillness before a viper strikes. “This is the only warning I will give you,” she adds.

Lucien’s head shakes. “Wipe him away,” he warns in return, his voice ice. “Do it, Clara, because if he destroys you, I will scatter his remains across this Earth. He will know agony long before I grant him death. Let her in.”

This time your heart jumps straight to your throat and stays there, beating and trembling, trying to flutter away.

“She’s not a thing for you to decide what to do with.”

There’s an edge to her voice, to her stance. They’re both tense, their shoulders taut as they glare at one another.

You’ve never seen them fight before. Not once. The fact that you’re the topic of their conversation…

Lucien snorts, shaking his head back and forth. “I’m only stating what you noticed long ago,” he says knowingly. “What my pretty girl wants even if she won’t admit it to herself yet,” a pause, and he licks his lips again, his head turning to stare right into the darkness, into the spot where you’re standing, “Isn’t that right, my brave foolish girl?”

Your muscles stiffen with shock. Your flee instincts scream at you to get away but you only stare at them numbly.

Clara doesn’t look surprised by his words, either. Did she know too? This whole time? Then why let you listen to this. Why—

“Don’t be shy,” he coaxes, his voice beguiling and gentle; a dangerous purr. “Come on out.”

You shouldn’t.

They’re…

Too much, too dangerous—you called them a death sentence only minutes prior, and you know you’re right.

Yet you step onto the terrace and straight into the jaws of two awaiting snakes who watch your every step with rapt intensity.

It’s an effort to keep your steps steady and spine straight. Under their stares, you become intimately aware of every stitch of clothing on you. Namely the fact that you’re in nothing but loose V-shirt and worn sweatpants, having pulled on the first thing on hand before departing your room in restless haste.

The intensity of their regard makes you feel like you’re naked, however.

Gulping a quiet breath you try to ignore the way Lucien traces the dip of your collarbone where a love bite is still visible. He sucked on the skin relentlessly, following that with a scattering of open-mouthed kisses, soothing the twinge of the ache.

“I…” you try and sigh. “Sorry. It was rude of me to listen. I…”

Your voice fades when Lucien steps towards you, his footsteps inaudible but purposeful. Same hunched shouldered, tense prowl of a gait, his arm encircling your waist the moment he’s close enough. You lean into his touch despite your wariness, your breath tickling against his exposed skin but over his narrow shoulder, you can’t help but watch Clara.

Dark jumper, messy braid over her shoulder, and sunken cheeks. Tired smudges sit under her eyes, her stare empty, and she looks…

Sad.

There is no particular expression on her face—she’s not that obvious, and he taught her well, you suppose—but the air around her seems to be teeming with some melancholic ache.

Lucien’s mouth brushes over your ear, nipping once, and you expect a shiver of shame or embarrassment to flood through you but it doesn’t. It doesn’t feel wrong to have her witness these things, to watch Lucien’s rare show of intimacy so closely.

The argument between them seems to be forgotten, for now, all of you caught in your own spells. Lucien’s mouth drags downwards, his teeth scraping against the hollow of your throat and you gasp softly.

The sound seems to snap Clara out of her daze, and her expression tightens in a blink. You still can’t get over how pale and tired she looks. Worn. Everything about her seems to be muted today. It’s then that you also recall that you haven’t seen her the whole day. When you asked Hector he had only barked a harsh she’s busy and you had retreated after that, noting his foul mood—more so than usual.

Why?

You try to think if this day holds some sort of significance and—

Oh, oh, oh.

It must be today.

Your stomach sinks at the realisation. So hard and suddenly the sensation of Lucien’s mouth fades just for a second. Because just like that the man’s return also makes sense. He returned so he would be here just in case she needs him.

Two years since the night she was taken in Tokyo.

There must be so much turmoil in her today. No wonder you haven’t seen her out and about and now, out here, in the private space between them, her guard has worn far quicker than usual.

Lucien presses you flush against him and hums a pleased sound when you sigh at the feeling of his lips skimming over your jaw. His head tilts then, staring at Clara over his shoulder.

“You’ve made your point,” she snips the moment he does, her voice throaty.

She stalks past you both, her jaw set and lips pressed to a hard line. Your actions are instinct alone.

Your fingers wrap around her wrist, partially jerking from Lucien’s hold to catch her in your grip. Last time you’ve done something like this she flinched and yanked her arm away with a heated glare. This time she freezes, tensing, but doesn’t pull out of your hold. Her steady, strong pulse beats against your palm and you inhale at the contact.

Last time you touched her had been when she told you her real name.

Clara, Clara, Clara.

With her hands knuckle deep in a pot, a smear of dirt across the freckled nose, and near content look in her eyes. You know she never demands. Yet each member chooses to cement their loyalty to the Pit in their own time and on their own terms. Once the snake tattoo marks their skin, it’s forever. In return, Clara gives them her own name—the ultimate sign of acceptance.

You don’t have a snake tattoo. Yet she had given you her name still. She had noted your startled expression before it morphed and bloomed into a bright grin. That seemed to have startled her more.

When you had hugged her—breathing her in, absorbing her warmth, and savouring the comfort that comes with such simple affection—she had stood there, not moving. It took her several minutes to fully relax, melt into you with a sigh so gentle you barely felt it.

Now, your hand is on her skin again, even if circumstances are so different.

“Don’t go,” you say, fighting back the urge to tug her towards you. “Stay.”

Lucien shifts around you—another snake coiling—but he’s waiting and watching. Almost vibrating with energy you have no name for. Arm around your waist, hand resting lightly on your lower stomach, but you feel his stare digging into her.

He’s eager to see how she will react.

This. This feels right.

Lucien at your side and you holding onto her. A unit, a chain of energy. A thrill rushes through your hand and right to your heart at that conclusion; hot and fierce.

Those dark eyes peer at you, and there is something in her gaze—maybe longing, maybe regret—but it blows out like a candle in a stiff breeze.

Her stare goes to Lucien briefly and she tugs her wrist free. Your expression falls the moment cool night air kisses your palm instead.

Clara turns and disappears down the staircase. Her room is on this floor, just below the terrace and you listen to her fading footsteps. The disappointment you feel stings, bubbles in your chest and you pull your hand back, folding your fingers into a loose fist.

Lucien hisses under his breath, displeased, muttering something in French. His nails scratch against your stomach as he pulls his hand away.

“Why did you do that?” you demand quietly.

A soft breath and quick, hard kiss against your head, his fingers sinking into your shoulder.

“Because I will not let her run anymore,” he mutters coldly, and it carries through the night air, making you shiver.

Turning in his hold, you stare at him.  

“Have you two ever…”

He reads into your meaning without you having to force the words out. You’re immensely grateful for it.

“No.”

Your throat aches but you still wonder, “Kissed?”

“Yes. Once,” blunt and straightforward as always. For once, you find yourself appreciating that. “We both thought we were going to die, and neither of us wanted our last memory to be of rotting in pain and alone. Our humanity stripped away.”

You step out of his embrace, mulling that over. You can’t even begin to imagine what that would be like. Feeling that level of desperation. That lack of hope and despair. That kiss had nothing to do with desire and everything to do with comfort, with a need to cling to something so ordinary yet human in what they perceived to be their last moments alive.

“It’s today, isn’t it?” you finally ask, your words soft, thoughtful. “When she was taken. That’s why you came back. Because you knew she would need you,” you add knowingly, staring up at him.

Lucien stares back at you wordlessly. He doesn’t need to waste his breath and verbalize it for you to know you’re right.  

“She needs us both,” he concludes and there is no room for argument in that statement—for him, it's an absolute, a known fact. “She’s just too wrapped up in him to realise that.”

Him. It always comes back to him.  

The seething rage lingers in Lucien’s soft words, practically spat, certainly damning. Yet you never expected him to be as accepting of this as he has been.

“Why aren’t you mad?” you wonder, watching his profile, the dips of his skin illuminated by the artificial lights. In this moment he’s a wraith, a spirit, a restless ghost. “At the thought that I might…”

Do feel something for a woman you shouldn’t. Did that make you selfish? You often felt selfish for simply wanting Lucien. For hoping that one day he will be able to make peace with his demons and stay with you.

You can’t help but wonder if the woman who reminds you of a beautiful, haunted house could ever, possibly, let her demons go too.

Could...could she feel the same?

Your blood warms at the thought, your mind cycling through every moment shared with her over these last several months. Combing them for any signs and...

“Why would I be, pretty girl?” he retorts with a tsk and a cutting glance. He reaches out, fingers caressing the length of your chin. “I have no intention of choosing, you’re capable of loving us both I know that, and she needs to learn happiness again.”

You lean into his touch, your eyes fluttering shut, savouring the contact. There is that greediness in his hold when he drags you to him. You follow. This time there is new conflict but the energy between you seems to be back, settled. Pressing your forehead against his bare collar, you shiver at how cold he feels to the touch but feel happy at this return.

The missing piece finally has a name.  

“What did he do to her?” you mumble against his skin, so desperate to understand what no one is willing to share with you.

You want Clara to tell you herself, one day, but until she’s ready, if ever...

Lucien's voice is dark and low, barely audible when he answers, “He made her love him.”

You doubt anyone can make someone love another person. Not really. But now can’t help but wonder if Lucien feels like that man stole the Clara he knew—Clara that smiled—away from him and that’s what boils his blood. Something that he considered his own was taken from him and he was powerless to stop it.

“And did he love her back?”

He was a fool if he didn’t.

Lucien is quiet for a long, long time after that question, and you feel him staring out towards the twinkling skyline.

“There is a reason why he’s still alive.” 

. . .

an: yeah, little to no context and I don’t really expect anyone to read this or care but if you did and happen to enjoy it thank you very much for giving it a chance! love you guys lots. this was written a solid month back so discord gang this is familiar to you lot *wiggles eyebrows*  

[hellishgoat]

Thanks for the tag!!! @tatsueli :3c (sorry it took so long for me to do this ; ;)

Name: Theo

Gender: Male

Star sign: Sagittarius

Height: 5’6 sooo 167 cms :’)

Time: 1:07 am I gotta sleeeeep!!!

Birthday: December 7th (born in winter... Gojira...)

Favorite band/group: hhhhh Deftones, Mastodon, Static X,,, and.... uhhh many moar XD but those are some of my top faves that come to mind right now

Favorite solo artist: Ozzy Osbourne....... Cher ... Ashnikko and yea there’s moar here toooo my mind is just blank

Song stuck in my head: Anything by 7m3 man this song has been stuck in my head all day 😩 he has such a nice voice it’s unreal!! Also it makes me feel all ->🥺 lol

Last movie: Clown Motel. I don’t recommend it’s fucking SHITE, I actually turned it off bout 30 mins in. (It’s a horror movie and usually I can stomach them even if they suck but this one actually pissed me off it was so bad) XD

Last show: Dr Phil... My stepsister forced me to watch it with her 😒

When did I create this blog: 2019 or so...

What do I post: fandom stuff, my art(occasionally) lot of aesthetic things... and just things I find funny. Oh and like lots of music. I try to keep it positive here but 😅 it maybe hasn’t been the best recently. Smh....... Buuuut uhhm I am trying to make my blog reflect me the best I can and I think I do a good job at that. :’}

Last thing I googled: one piece gogoanime dub.. :’)

Other blogs: 😳 uhhgfghnnnnmnmmmmmm @lovelyleons is my resident evil sideblog.... I have a My Hero Academia one but I’m not active on it at all anymore so I won’t share it and then everything else is just me hoarding Urls XD

Do I get asks: yea :3 I mean not always but I do appreciate the hell out of them all when I do get them ; u ;

Why I chose this Url: cause it’s cool B) and goats ‘nuff said

Following: 296

Followers: 192 (love ya folks ❤️)

Average hours of sleep: 6-7 hours I s’pose, I never really know, it’s either I oversleep or I don’t get enough 😪

Lucky number: 8 🎱

Instruments: I don’t own any, would be cool tho! Like having a bass or something 🤔 when I was in fourth grade I tried the violin and I just could not get it down (I mostly did it cause my mom really wanted me to play the devil went down to Georgia for her lol) sad to say I couldn’t do it xD

What am I wearing: Van Halen shirt (and long sleeve under shirt cause this one has a hole in the stomach of it :( it’s my fave tho I can’t get rid of it!!) just some sweatpants... and lil fuzzy sock monkey socks :•)

Dream job: im just gonna say not having a job too xD (but ok ok I have given it some thought and like maybe owning... a diner or something would be kinda cool 🤔a breakfast place) ahh idk...

Dream trip: Japan would be cool... or honestly anywhere that isn’t here. (But of course Finland too 😉) traveling the world would be nice... if I wasn’t so terrified of the thought of being on airplanes ._. I’d need someone to hold my hand all the way XD and also like all the Dramamine in the world would probably make it better

Favorite food: hhhhhhhhhh Pierogis are awesome... I like beef stew, pizza (and I have to say that pineapple on pizza is amazing😤) can’t go wrong with anything involving pasta... ahh it’s always so hard to answer favorite foods > n < cause now I’m just forgetting everything I actually do enjoy

Nationality: American

Favorite songs: Entombed by Deftones.. You get what you give by New Radicals always makes me super happy, Ghost of Perdition by Opeth is rad as fuck.. Jaguar God is perfect.. sustain the untruth.... ok I’ll stop now :’D (SIKE...I also just reallly enjoy the hell out of Chasm by Flyleaf)

Last book I read: Something something.... I haven’t read anything in forever.... really should get myself into reading again tho

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: the pokemon universe ; ; I could have so many Pokémon!! And travel everywhere. Atla universe so I can be an earthbender. And yea a nice little dreamy place in a Ghibli film as well ((((imma actually add a fourth... but living in the one piece world would be pretty sweet.. specially the freedom that would come with being a PIRATE!!)))) ; ;

Gonna tag @mikey-putrid @seaofashes @radellama @junk-culture @isabelle-lux @kuukigajan @kneesofthebee @lordswagcheese @adultswin @baeson-todd 🤔💭 of course no pressure if you don’t want to do it! No biggie!!

[bluepluto03]

I’m working on an atla yt au and I wanna ramble about it

- so jsyk it takes place in like a modern/atla fusion world, so they have modern tech as well as bending and atla animals

- note that when I say fusion I don’t mean modern America w/ benders. I mean I literally spent 4 hrs developing/world building what I thought the avatar universe would be like a thousand yrs post cannon, including cities, really basic politics, an education system, a job/degree/aprenticeship system that is very different from our own job market, bending certification, a back story for the dragons, a fifth air temple bc the genocide never happened, and some other stuff as well.

- (all of that for a youtube au. *sigh*. can anyone explain why I’m like this?)

- anyway the Gaang all have like 1 joint account that they’ll post to as well as their own main accounts. (They also have another joint account where they get someone to make like compilations of funny stuff from their vids and they donate all the revenue that acct makes)

- technically the only ppl officially apart of the Gaang/able to post on the joint channel are Aang, Sokka, Katara, Toph, suki, zuko* and yue. (Though yue posts there very rarely) but a lot of their friends are also YouTube’s and they like constantly collab w/ them to the point of them basically being honorary members

- * zuko doesn’t make a channel for a while,,, he just keeps appearing in his friends videos until ppl start demanding that he makes his own channel

- at first he’s like,,,,, nah bc he Legally is supposed to stay out of the public eye. (Bc of Scar Related Reasons) but eventually he’s like “actually fuck it” and does anyway

- so he just does a lot of random stuff bc he’s just,,,,, himself he has no freaking clue how to social media. Tho he does a lot of showing off his firebending and sword play stuff. As well as introducing everyone to the literal seven turtle ducks he owns

- aang shows off air bending plus has tutorials on animal care and gives advice. Also slot of vids about having good mental health, and random video game stuff

- Katara only really does video game stuff w/ others but she mainly does like water bending stuff, informational videos about healing (both bending based and traditional medicine based), and life advice bc she cares about everyone!!

- Sokka does a lot of video game stuff as well as lots of different weapon stuff! Tho obviously he specializes in the boomerang and sword. Zuko was on his channel a lot b4 making his own and ppl wondered if they were together since Sokka was very openly bi. (They were and ofc everyone freaked)

(Although on that note pls remember shipping real ppl is gross ty have a nice day)

- Toph!! Obvi earthbending but also Literally Teaching Metalbending since she u know invented it?? Also she has a podcast and has a lot of random asf vids on her channel

- suki!!!! She does a lot of makeup stuff, both traditional Kyoshi warrior makeup and those really out there types of makeup where ppl turn their faces into canvases. As well as obviously showing off her incredible skills

- yue does a lot of informational vids especially about the history of the water tribes and spirits! Also a short series of her doing suki’s nails bc for some reason suki is really bad at them?? Dispite being super precise with makeup???

(Spoiler alert suki just wants an excuse to hold her wife’s hand. Yes suki and yue are married don’t @ me)

- the main channel is mostly for them goofing around. They don’t have to put cross overs there (and they don’t put all of em there) but the main channel is just filled with them hanging out and being dumbasses. Also suki doing Sokka and aang’s makeup while yue does zuko’s nails.

- iroh gets featured in a couple of advice giving videos and somehow ends up with a Twitter that he just uses to give wholesome advice to anyone who needs it!

- Sokka and aang have a series doing a “buzzfeed unsolved” type thing w/ spirits. Except. U know. spirits are real. so poor aang is dragged along as Sokka cusses out random spirits apologizing after every word Sokka says.

- mai, ty lee, and azula have a channel called “the killer trio”. Mostly to show off ty lee’s acrobatics, mai’s knives/knife skills, and occasionally azula and her fire bending

- (azula is nice bc she left w/ zuko and Ursa when they were 11/13, then got A lot of Therapy. Now she’s on good terms w/ her fam, including her step dad and step sister)

- anyway bc her and zuko legally u know. Have to stay out of the public she very rarely goes on camera. When she does it’s usually wide shots sparring w/ one of her gf’s or her face is blurred. Her identity becomes a huge mystery and she’s just referred to as “the blue fire bender” bc that’s all anyone really knows about them

- she’s way more parinoid than zuko bc she’s actually a lot more scared of their dad and is trying to protect her brother even if he won’t protect himself

- ofc zuko eventually drops the truth of the whole thing (azula is like bitch wtf??? do u want Ozai to send a hitman after u???) but after all the legal stuff azula just. Casually posts a pic of mai and ty lee both kissing her on the cheek and the internet explodes

- (they knew mai and ty lee were dating but holy shit they’re dating the blue fire bender??? And she lives with them??? And she’s zuko’s sister??!?!)

- teo and his dad have an inventing channel and ofc Sokka shows up pretty regularly

- Haru has a very small channel mostly for fun tho he’s gotten his butt kicked in some of toph’s vids

- ppl like the bolder do not have channels they’re the equivalent of like actual famous wrestlers. Toph has invited them over to fight and has beaten all of them

- zuko has a video titled “I swear to Agni I can explain”. He posted it after about 3 months of not posting. The video features druk’s introduction.