#even tho i also hate her
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Am I doing better because I'm back to reading angst and crying?
Or
Am I doing worse because I'm back to reading angst and crying?
Who knows!
Certainly not me.
#to be fair#its probably both#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#mental stability is a lie made up by the government#to make people believe that such things as normal exists#we are all mentally unstable#it just depends on how good you are at suppressing yourself#or yknow having healthy coping mechanisms#whatever those are#i say like i dont have healthy coping mechanisms#lmao vent songs and art who?#but it took me majority of my childhood to learn#yippee for depression#honestly my posts are#10% an actual post#and 100% tags#because tags are the superior communication method#i truely wonder how many people who stumble upon my posts would even read my tags#if you read my tags please let me know#ill decide you're my favourite person#for#atleast a day#sorry my sister has priority#even tho i also hate her#the bitch#fav person yippee#dont tell my parents that i like my sister better then them#its a secret#probably not a well kept secret#but a secret
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AUGHH The site update was sooooo good- It motivated me to finish something I've been wanting to do for a while now: tweak and redesign the RW AU designs!!
Looking at the old one it's crazy to see how far they've come, being around before the Halloween update-- idk it's fun to see, same w my art style changes!! <3
Linking the old just for comparison,,,,,
#welcome home#welcome home au#real world au#wally darling#barnaby b beagle#julie joyful#frank frankly#eddie dear#howdy pillar#sally starlet#poppy partridge#these versions feel much fresher ngl....#i mean I didn't even change much w sally julie frank and eddie#wally only really got some paint splatters on him.....#howdy felt a bit naked so i gave him a lil cardigan to keep him warm!!#also matching fionn with that...#frank too...#i really hated barnaby's old outfit i HAD to change it-#I like it so much more!!!#Poppy didn't change but I do prefer her pose in the old one tho...
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What are you waiting for? I'm totally ready, I tell you.
Full art (with close up!): twitter, bsky
#nsft#terato#minotaur#DON'T EVEN MENTION HIS FACE I HATE THIS ANGLE IDK WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF#monster fucker#monster lover#seriously no idea i thought it's gonna be fine until i saw how bull faces looks from this angle and was like..........#..........well i guess i could work with that..#too late to change anything anyway#i'll draw them more but like with NORMAL angle#cause these two are like a couple so.. yeah..#also dw she's flexible and i made sure her leg can be like that. probably.#if anyone should be worried about is him#have you seen those scratches??? she's a fury!!#he wears them proudly tho#as he should.#close up bonus was a reason for quite a questionable search history of mine#cheesy art
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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Golden Wind/Vento Aureo Spoilers
Video Transcript
Bruno: I'll be forced to cut ties with you. A traitor stands alone on an island of isolation. Your failure will be yours and yours alone.
So recently I've decided I really wanted to rewatch golden wind after reading the rest of the parts, and since this time I wanted to give more focus to the animation, I decided to watch it in dub. As a result, when I got to this part in ep3, I realised the dub had elected to change what exactly Bruno had said, stating the words above instead.
This struck me as a bit of a wierd change until I then realised how much this moment foreshadows Fugos 'betrayal' at San Giorgio Maggiore; by having the only one not betraying the boss being the one who suffers what Bruno predicted.
I feel like this foreshadowing is honestly amazing, and also hits home at how Fugo feels later on in phf when thinking back to his actions as the pier. I feel like he really does think of his lack of movement as a failure towards Bucciarati, one he has to atone for and I think it's really interesting.
On top of that, I find it really fun how accurate Brunos words are to the situation as a whole, and I find it quite ironic that the one who suffers them isn't even betraying the boss like Bruno is describing, but rather Bruno himself.
Overall, I really like how this singular line foreshadows a moment episodes later, and how I can bring up how Fugo's opinions and feelings on the event are reflected in Bucciarati's words.
#pannacotta fugo#jjba fugo#bruno bucciarati#jjba bruno#jjba bucciarati#jjba vento auero#vento aureo#golden wind#jjba#meta post#jjba meta#analysis#i think?#its honestly me rambling about fugo#god i love that guy hes my little blorbo <3#my beautiful princess with a disorder#but also i have many feelings on him and his 'betrayal'#as can prob be guessed from how ive been using apostrophes around it#cos like#bruno did give them the option to stay behind if they wanted to#and yeah everyone else went#but fugo runs too much on logic and survival to even be able to move to join them#and i dont blame him!#especially when remembering this whole thing happened in a singular horrible week#and seriously?? would you betray the boss who could possibly still be ON THE ISLAND W YOU#for a girl you literally only met a week ago#not faulting trish tho#i love her and she genuinely deserves the world so no hate to her#anyway back to prev im just going insane over fugo and i genuinely believe he doesnt deserve the amount of hate he gets from the fandom#hes literally just a kid trying to survive the mafia and its terrifying boss!!
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
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random eloise bridgerton: 56/?
#bridgertonedit#dailybridgerton#eloisebridgertonedit#bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#claudia jessie#by.athena#randomeloise#the way colin pissed her off so fast even tho she was the one who was teasing him first 😭#also i loved this look so much even tho she hated it lol
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What a good thing we lose? What a bad thing we knew ♬
#majima land#roo medici#mingyue majima#naomi butler#ohh I so freaking hate myself for this.#me: i hate love triangle!-#-also me: unintentionally doing a love triangle in sims#like guys. in my defense THEY did it themselves#mingyue started crushing hard on roo when he went with her on that mt.komorebi festival (literally her hometown)#naomi LITERALLY FLIRTED WITH ROO the first time they met- she already saw him very attractive oh lord#till then roo & naomi really had close bonding I won’t lie#mingyue is the shy type apparently she always runs away even tho shes crushin on roo n thinks hes very attractive#AND FREAKING ROO LIKS THEM BOTH EQUALLY OMG-#plz mr. equal man stop playing w my heart and choose for me. like- plz#and the worst part??? I CANT CHOOSE EITHER.#sims 4#ts4#simblr
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im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.
#eliot posts#the other day my roommate was talking abt how she hates shaving#but does it anyway bc she doesn't want people to be mean to her about her body hair#and i was like yeah i mean i used to#also worry about that bc my mother was always so fucking cruel to me when i didn't shave#but as an adult i find that it's extremely rare that anyone even mentions it (tho my body hair is pretty light so that could be a factor)#but even when people are shitty i find that i no longer give a shit about what what those idiots have to say about my body#but i understand that that can be a hard step to take so if you need to keep shaving for your own comfort then i won't judge#but on the inside i was just like#*ibuprofen hand meme* ''let's get called disgusting hairy d*kes together <3''#i had a great time showing off my pit hair at the pool today!#(i get read as a woman when im swimwear cuz i can't hide my body as much. so i get read as a hairy masculine woman.)#i show off my leg hair every time i wear shorts but like. my leg hair is Pathetic#i look practically prepubescent vis a vis my leg hair (my mother still calls it disgusting lmao)#but my pit hair is pretty good#i occupy a weird gendered place in society where i am more of a man in identify but society genders me as a woman#the only time i feel remotely okay being seen as a woman is when i am seen as a BAD woman. a woman who cannot/will not be A Proper Lady#it's not an entirely ACCURATE view of me but there's Something in it
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ELLIE TAYLOR AND ANTHONY HEAD TED LASSO — 3.12 "So Long, Farewell".
#Ted Lasso#tedlassoedit#tedlassosource#Anthony Head#Ellie Taylor#trying new sharpening settings. not sure i like it tho#also the new tumblr photo editor! why??? tumblr WHY??#anyway I love her I love her so much#never really understood the hate she gets#i also love how defeated Rupert looks in this :')#like he KNOWS he can't say anything because she will just bury him even deeper#usernessa#tuserliliana#nessa007#userkk#ohtendril#damerondjarin#usersaysh#trueloveistreacherous#scratchybeardsweetmouth#usersydney#usergiu#uservalentina#useryoshi#dailyflicks#userbadger#userbbelcher#userk8#my stuff#mine: believe
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the damage this single panel has done to kara's reputation needs to be studied. "see, she doesn't care about humans." wrong! she does. it's just that this comic is bad.
#supergirl#kara zor el#oh world's finest: batwoman and supergirl 2 how much i hate you#the story is mostly there to dunk on cw!kara in a meta way which is like#very unprofessional of the writer#and also not even necessary to begin with#the show's kara is an elseworld version#and not comic!kara#i ALSO don't like the changes they made to kara during the rebirth series#i even hate them#and i don't think she should a reporter in the comics#(even tho i loved that aspect of the character in the show)#i think she should be an actress or a teacher or work in fashion#something like that#but using your whole story to dunk on another doesn't speak well about your writing skills#but i love the show's kara#and her love for people#and her kindness and compassion#and her passion for journalism#so maybe i’m biased#don't even start me on the whole “she should be a scientist” thing#because the reason why she chose the science guild is TO UNDERSTAND HER MOTHER#she doesn't care about science#she just has mommy issues
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I’m too tired to post an essay but my girl was just a victim of bad writing and a lack of critical thinking from the audience okay I love her.
#I’m so passionate about this#I won’t discourse with anyone but I will fume silently#if you just don’t like her idc#I’m talking about the people that actively hate on her#There aren’t many of you guys but the few that are#I am not very fond of your content (I’m sure you’re great people tho)#And they’re mostly in the Varian fandom#Like you’re few and far between but still#You kinda ruin it a tiny bit for me#The rest of the Var fandom tho I love you guys and you’re great#Keep doing amazing sweetie#Sorry I’m in a bad mood and feeling salty#Pmdd haha#tts#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#rapunzel#Also if you reblog/comment trying to debate me you will be ignored or even blocked I’m not in the mood (no offense tho it’s not personal)#Just let me be salty#You’re entitled to your own opinion I’m not actually hating on anyone#I’m just tired
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i hope the van explodes
#the kingmaker histories#eisen iyer#colette geise#telesphore winterlich#my art#I HATE DRAWING VEHICLES!!!!!!!#but actually even worse is trying to draw characters interacting w/ a vehicle. with consistent scale. and a mirrored version. dies#WHY did i draw this when i hate drawing vehicles you ask? idk#i meant to draw a small portion of the van for a lil drawing but then i just kept adding more and more#ah well. thank you kingmaker for broadening my horizons#funny that this is my first finished height chart for kingmaker when normally that's one of the first things i draw for a fandom#the Actual Things i wanted to draw superseded it LOL#even this barely counts as one since it's sloppy and i didn't put much effort into proportions#and the actual measurement ruler part isn't included. tho i do have that version#also the heights are a bit off since i included sole height and their soles are varying heights gfdhdgfh#i hope the van doesn't explode actually. i hope the van lives a long and luxurious life with eventual calm and relaxing retirement#blatantly stole the IW&C logo from an old fanart i did where it got mostly covered up#belatedly noticing colette is lookin even more corpselike than usual but it would be v tedious to fix it so. it's just a bad day for her ok
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chewing on my hands no curly did not need to fucking murder jimmy to protect Anya. He wouldn't, not Just because of the fact murder even in self defense is deeply distressing and therefore. Y'know a last resort (and Jimmy is his friend. I am curious how long Jimmy's weird resentment has existed and if it was ever obvious before the events of the game but I'm getting off track) but also. Anya LITERALLY SAYS "I have to believe our worst moments don't make us monsters" like I'm not saying she's at all okay w what jimmy did but like!!!
She's VERY OBVIOUSLY conflicted and coping! She DOESNT want him dead (well maybe she does but I don't think it's something she thinks would actually be an easy fix. She doesn't want it Logically bc the situation is. Y'know it's a spaceship w 5 ppl and he's the fuckin co pilot)
CURLY COULDVE STILL DONE MORE AND HANDLED THE SITUATION BETTER!!! Personal opinion he didn't realize it was SA and/or didn't realize how traumatic it was for Anya until she brought up pregnancy and its a mix of genuine and willful ignorance (which Logically Makes Sense but is still not an excuse) but like. He says himself she doesn't get psych evaluations!
Murder is not an easy solution! Some survivors/victims want their abusers to die and that's its own discussion, but even beyond morality and ethics: thats 20% of the fucking staff on this stupid ship!
There's a longer post to be made about the fact capitalism is the ultimate enabler of these issues and dynamics, because the combination of isolation, small crew size, complete abscence of support, disregard for employee safety and physical danger all contributed to the fact this Could Happen and the fact this Is Such A Fucking Hard Situation even if you always prioritize the victim bc. Anya's safety is threatened either way- letting Jimmy do Whatever is obviously dangerous, but also HES THE CO PILOT! The events of the game are literally an example of why you NEED A CO PILOT (though in game he's fucking. Shit at his job which y'know) because you need redundancies to make sure you arent Completely reliant on one person (like. Imagine if Anya got seriously injured. There goes the medical staff. Maybe the others have basic training but Jesus Christ being the ONLY medical expert on staff. And even then iirc she's a nurse which not to downplay the work that goes into that but it is fundamentally one of MULTIPLE medical jobs and only having A Nurse is. FOR OVER A YEAR OF TRAVEL GOOD LORD THIS IS A NIGHTMARE) anyways. Longer post by someone smarter Abt how even though jimmy is an awful person a lot of the harm he does is only possible bc of a combination of The Situation (isolation + small group) and His Power (social power as a man over the One Woman and power as the second in command)
This post got away from me bc this game makes me think a lot but what I actually wanted to say is: Curly could have done more by being more present for Anya and being more Aware of Jimmy's actions (and intervening to make sure he isn't able to interact with Anya in isolated settings). Like I also think straight up murder isn't an ideal solution but like. There's a lot of fucking THINGS YOU CAN DO TO SUPPORT VICTIMS THAT ARENT MURDER
In the end I think it's a consequence of basing the approach on punishing the aggressor rather than supporting the victim, because like. It's less important to Kill Jimmy (no matter how much you want to) and way more important to KEEP ANYA SAFE
#Mouthwashing spoilers#NGL the jimmy hate posts. Like I get it. But also feels like they still forget the fact that hey#His victim is also there like. Yeah Jimmy sucks but killing him doesn't un traumatize Anya#Also something to say about how she overdosed like. Aughhh#Also I kinda get ppl saying Swansea didn't act until Daisuke got injured but again. I don't think Anya wanted jimmy dead#(tho I remember now she talks Abt the gun for protection- I don't think she'd want him dead outside of like self defense#Like. Unless he is trying to attack her again y'know. Or even she could just have the gun as a Threat without wanting to use it.#ANYWAY I do think Swansea couldve likely done more but I also think that More isn't necessarily violent#Idk I feel like ppl project violent desires onto victims which may be accurate in some cases but is not universal#Anyway idk where I'm going. AU where the only thing Anya has to worry about is Daisuke being better at her at boardgames
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we knew this but Kate confirming that even UNIT recognises a lot of events as supernatural rather than alien AND that it's a whole new thing they aren't very equipped for yet is really cool
#also i reaaally cant tell what we're meant to think about unit#like they're so scary. they're a private military. i hate them. 10 hates them. but then every#companion that survives goes to work for them and the script straight up calls them good guys#but THEN 10 gets mad at martha for working for them even tho he got her the job. man whatever#10 is a whole different topic tbh but like in general??? idk i really like Kate coz hi women but unit...ew....#doctor who#dw meta#dw spoilers#kate lethbridge stewart
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