#even the songs i liked have lacked staying power for me. they're not even really like... interesting production wise

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

i absolutely do not fault anyone for enjoying the new glass animals album don't get me wrong but you can tell something upset the balance in me. there wasn't a glass animals song in my #1 let alone in my #2 listens this year

[cosmicalls]

if you like dead poets society, you may like these!

just for fun: a little list of movies, shows, and books i like that i feel have something in common with dps. hopefully you'll find something you'd like, too!

not in any particular order. just the order that i thought of them in really

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A Separate Peace

by John Knowles - published 1959

a coming-of-age novel set at an all-boys new england boarding school. follows two boys, Gene and Finny, and their experiences during the summer and winter sessions of 1942. talks a bit about WWII and what role the boys may have to play in that, but it stays pretty focused on the school and the emotions involved during this time in one's life. all the growth and transformation and oddly homoerotic, perhaps very codependent, friendship of a bildungsroman that we love to look for.

one of my personal favorite books, even considering that it was assigned reading. i truly believe many of you would like it and i know for a fact some of you can vouch for me

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Stephen Chbosky - published 1999 movie adaptation: dir. Stephen Chbosky - released 2012

follows Charlie and his general struggles of high school and with being, well, a wallflower. from goodreads: "Caught between trying to live his life and trying to run from it puts him on a strange course through uncharted territory. The world of first dates and mixed tapes, family dramas and new friends. The world of sex, drugs, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, when all one requires is that the perfect song on that perfect drive to feel infinite."

very emotional. that's all! i preferred the movie, but i liked the format of the book being completely in letters that Charlie was writing. they're both good! (if you watch the movie, the english teacher's name is Mr. Anderson. so do with that information what you will...!)

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Matilda

by Roald Dahl - published 1988 movie adaptation: dir. Danny DeVito - released 1996 musical adaptation: dir. Matthew Warchus - released 2022

a young girl with an aptitude for reading discovers she has telekinetic abilities at the same time she begins attending school. unfortunately, the principal is an extremely harsh woman, and none of the students seem to enjoy it there. Matilda uses her courage and newfound powers to change her environment for the better, both at school and in her abrasive home.

such a good movie, a childhood favorite. the musical has a great soundtrack too!

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Good Will Hunting

dir. Gus Van Sant - released 1997

a janitor is recognized as a mathematical genius by an MIT professor, and he goes on an emotional journey to embrace his intellect. starring Robin Williams, our dearly beloved inspiration, as the therapist Will goes to see for much of the film.

i only saw it once and my description is lacking but ooh it hurt...... just trust me on this one

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A Series of Unfortunate Events

by Lemony Snicket - published 1999-2006 tv series adaptation: aired 2017-2019

JUST HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE okay. it's about a trio of siblings, orphaned, who are shuttled from one parental unit to another while being followed by a man after their immense wealth. they quickly discover they are in the midst of an intellectual conflict in a secret organization. they must rely on only each other, seeing as all the adults around them are wildly incompetent and/or unhelpful. and it is filled to the brim with literary references!!

both versions have really fun and witty narration, and the tv adaptation is extremely faithful. i don't know how else to describe it without going overboard so i'll settle for not descriptive enough! just trust me. yes it is a kids' series and yes it is one of my favorites ever. it's the vibes of it all

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If We Were Villains

by M.L. Rio - published 2017

about a group of Shakespeare theater students at a very pretentious arts school who find themselves in a very high-tension dynamic following a disaster that occurs after their halloween performance of Macbeth. lots and lots of Shakespeare, lots of dramatics, and the book itself is divided into five acts.

i finished this in about two nights and it was extremely creatively inspiring. it was a bit predictable, but that's not a bad thing. it still had me clutching my pearls and dropping my jaw

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"The Artist of the Beautiful"

by Nathaniel Hawthorne - published 1844

a romantic era short story about a man who feels utterly trapped by his occupation. he would rather concern himself with the delicate beauty of nature, and he attempts to realize this in his passion project - much to the disdain of the people around him.

a bit of a sneak sorry. i just think it's just in line with neil's whole thing you know. it's a lot of long and flowery sentences but it works really well i promise

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The Breakfast Club

dir. John Hughes - released 1985

the letterboxd synopsis really says it all: "They only met once, but it changed their lives forever. | Five high school students from different walks of life endure a Saturday detention under a power-hungry principal. The disparate group includes rebel John, princess Claire, outcast Allison, brainy Brian and Andrew, the jock. Each has a chance to tell his or her story, making the others see them a little differently – and when the day ends, they question whether school will ever be the same."

i don't have much to add and to be honest! kind of a stretch for this list! but i have faith

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obviously there are other shows and movies with the dead poets society leads, but i wanted to sort of branch out a bit for the bulk of this list. i will still list the ones i had in mind though

House M.D. (2004-2012) - tv series about genius diagnostician Dr. Gregory House and his team at a hospital in new jersey. Robert Sean Leonard stars as House's best friend and head of oncology Dr. James Wilson. very comedic but also very heartwrenching.

Tape (2001) - three friends meet at a motel room and dredge up and argue over unpleasant events of the past. starring Ethan Hawke and Robert Sean Leonard.

Before Sunrise (1995) - from letterboxd: "A young man and woman meet on a train in Europe, and wind up spending one evening together in Vienna. Unfortunately, both know that this will probably be their only night together." Ethan Hawke plays one half of the lead duo.

and yeah there's a LOT more but those are the ones i've seen and sincerely recommend. not to say others aren't good but this is a (very) curated list you see.

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phew that's not as many as i thought i had in my back pocket but it's still pretty good. plus, there's some things i havent read/watched yet that perhaps would have made it but alas! such is life

absolutely add to the list if you'd like!! let's all share our favorite stories

[licorice-and-rum]

My response to some "critics" about Babel

Okay, I'm gonna start by saying this: English is not my first language so I may commit some spelling and grammar mistakes here but I felt like I just had to write this down, especially because of the negative reviews this book has that just… didn't get it.

Don't get me wrong, of course you're allowed to not like this book, I recognize that it's most certainly not gonna be everyone's cup of tea but some of the people here just didn't get what this book was all about. Babel isn't a fantasy like ACOTAR, or HP, or whatever (in the sense that, for those, the story guides the message while Babel is the contrary): like many classical books, Babel was written to make a point, it's a romance, sure, but it was written to argue for something - the necessity of violence.

So, first of all: Babel is a historical fantasy, it talks about colonialism, racism, sexism, and other matters with no qualms, no embellishing to make it digestible, no allegories or metaphors because this isn't the point. Kuang's "lack of nuance" as someone here pointed out is very deliberate and extremely important for the story because the points she wants to make are always lost in nuance (just think how many people go on misinterpreting Star Wars, Hunger Games, or even anti-system songs like The Wall ffs), and the message is too important to get lost in allegories.

Second, as to the story, many people seem to think what she's pointing out is obvious "ur dur colonialism is bad, we get it". No, you clearly don't. There's a profound difference between getting it and actually comprehending it to an elemental level. Robin's travel to Canton illustrates that perfectly: he knew that colonialism was bad, he knew it was violent but he didn't comprehend it until he was forced to face it happening in front of him - to people who could've been easily him. More than that, because that was when he finally connected the theory with the reality, it became palpable to him.

It's not enough to get it, you have to actually stay attuned to it, to feel the flow of its violence throughout the world because then, and only then, I'll realize you can't be complacent, you can't turn your head from it. And Babel is an attempt, however tiny, of showing this to you. Of telling you "Look, you're ignoring it, the discomfort you felt reading this is your conscience telling you you relate to that". So no, I refuse to accept that Kuang should have been more nuanced: she was as clear as she could because she knows people say they get it but they don't, not really.

Third, the magical system is just chef's kiss. I've seen many people complaining about it but the thing is: the silver working is not about having magic in the world, it's about creating a palpable, material place where Kuang could center her attention as she talked about the economic aspect of colonialism. That's because colonial power is not centered in one place or thing, it is scattered all around but you can't hardly make a point like Babel's if you have your characters fighting off colonialism in all corners of the world. Like the Capital in the Hunger Games, Babel is a material place that symbolizes something.

Moreover, the silver working symbolizes the Industrial Revolution and its need for the advance of colonialism. More than that, silver-working is about capital, it's about technology to generate more profit, quicker, for a specific class that doesn't care who they have to kill to continue, doesn't care whether it is good or bad for the common folk.

Fourth, many people pointed out how academic Kuang's writing style felt during Babel and they're right, it is indeed very identifiable. I'm sure I even commented something along the lines of "it feels like I'm having the best History lesson of all time". But I'm going to challenge people who say things against the notion that the historical description of Kuang was unnecessary: every time Kuang chose to give the readers historical context has served somehow to the narrative.

I remember early on in the book when Robin was still a teen walking through London and reading anything he could put his hands on, and then we get two paragraphs of historical and political context for the time, then Robin comments that he didn't understand why this mattered so much. That paragraph served so much, both because it made us know a little more about Robin and because it served to make us understand the profound environmental change England was going through at the time.

And every time she did this, it served for something. Again, Babel is a historical fantasy, it is supposed to make you think about the point Kuang is trying to make but you won't understand it if you don't know the context of which Robin and the other characters in the book are coming from. It was a time of decision: either England would consolidate itself as an almost all-powerful oppressor, or it could go down… if the oppressed people - who share a common enemy - understood their responsibility to do something.

The strikes of the English working class, the violent acts of rioters, the advancement in technology, the possibility of the Opium War, the colonialism… it's all important. It's important because it allows us to understand the deep connection between it all. It allows us to understand who profits off of it, and who doesn't; who is able to understand and who isn't. It's why Letty is upper-class. It's why Abel isn't.

It's not as simple as some people think to understand colonialism, the flows through which one thing is tied to another. Why do people ask "How does this affect me?" when we point out deeply unfair things like unpaid maternity leave (I actually saw an American once saying she "wouldn't want her tax money to go to someone who didn't plan through"), like the fact people starve when we have the ability to feed a world and a half, of that Palestine is going through ethnic cleansing? Because they are unable to understand how closely their lives are tied to other peoples they have never met and probably never will.

Kuang's message is not "colonialism is bad", she's saying "These are all the forms through which colonialism is bad to everyone but a few, do something about it", she's saying "Every single one of your struggles is tied together in more ways than you even understand. A person in Haiti, in China, in India, in the other side of the world, has more to do with you than these white rich people, fight with them, stand with them."

Fifth, I can't believe I gotta say this but I'm not going to even bother with you if you think this book is somehow "anti-white": just get over your main character syndrome. We're talking about a historical fantasy set in England in the epitome of colonialism through the eyes of a person of color. Of course, most white people are gonna be bad, get over yourself ffs!

The actual entitlement to the protagonism white people have is maddening. As a white woman (in Brazil, at least), I'm ashamed of some comments here. It's not because white people in this book are majorly racist (which, according to the setting is 100% accurate) that Kuang is talking about you (although, if you're so bothered by it, it's probably about you anyway). This is a book about the experience of people of color under the oppression of colonialism: white people are the problem!

You can't just expect someone to write about colonialism and not talk majorly about race. White people reap all the privileges of this system and not just that, they are responsible for it, and all the crying about being the bad guys is just insufferable (they're actually so right about having to console Letty once she learns about the racism they suffer).

Be f*ing accountable for your privileges, take responsibility for your internalized racism, and be accountable for the system that privileges you. It doesn't matter that it wasn't your fault, that you didn't set up the system, you still benefit from it anyway so get a grip. This story isn't about you at all, it isn't about how some white people fought against slavery or oppression, it isn't about you.

Let's be very clear about this: most white people who fought against slavery did so to serve their own interests, exactly as Kuang points out. This doesn't mean none of them were good people who actually believed slavery was bad but we're talking of a time when racism and racial discrimination weren't even discussed seriously. Most white people, even the ones against slavery would have a deeply ingrained racism in them, so get real.

More than that, though: if those people who actually have no shame in saying Babel is "anti-white" had actually read the book through, they would know that some white people actually help and are good people in the story.

Anyway, Babel is so good, it's so painfully real and so passionately well-written. You can feel Kuang's love for her people, the struggles of what it means to love something but still not be a part of it, the deep understanding of how the world works, and how intricately every single thing in our lives is.

I just felt so heard (as a person from a third-world country) reading Babel, like someone was telling me all this rage and indignation I feel is justified, it's valid. I just treasured it so much, how I identified with Robin's need for security contrasting with his indignation for the price of it; with the rage Griffin carried around him, sharpened and well-directed even in its volition; with the love Victoire had to learn to have for her country and its story; with all the pain I was able to share with someone who understood it.

It's an honor to allow words to change me so fundamentally. It's humbling to realize I'm not alone, that my actions and my feelings are shared by other people. It is really precious, you know, to be able to become a better person than I was before because of a book.

[gayofthefae]

When Mike turns around because Will is getting his attention to say "you're heart" there's a big drum beat. Pls they're so dramatic 😭

"bum bum bum"

But like seriously there's a low drum. Listen back to it it's the dramatic "something bad is about to happen kind", you know what I mean.

When Mike turns around, they get their own classic "dun-dun" beat.

That sound famously and exclusively plays when suddenly, something bad is about to happen. When everything in the chaos pauses for a second, like you can hear the boom of the character's heart stopping. I literally can type out "dun-dun-dun" and it evokes an emotional reaction I really don't need to be over-explaining this.

But listen to me, Mike and Will have one before Will tells him he's the heart. The sound effects consider what is about to be said from Will to Mike to be a BAD. THING.

Not a selfless act from Will. Not an act of romantic closure by doing something good with it. Not encouragement for Mike. Bad. A tragic, dramatic, drum worthy moment in which, while no music is playing, a drum sounds and shifts us to feel dread.

Before anything has even happened, the moment Mike turns around, they intend for us to feel dread. They lead into him telling El he loves her with us dreading.

They want us, with Mike, to feel a large emotional shift. The sound all stays the same - the lights, the lack of music, everything is still there. But that classic drum says "big emotional change". The drum hits and Mike is about to be changed for the worse by whatever comes out of Will's mouth next.

The sound effects artists are telling us, "this is bad."

And what's more, if it was bad for Will, it wouldn't have sounded when it did. Will has nothing to dread. He is in control of the situation, the only one who knows what's about to happen and is doing it voluntarily. Even if he thinks of it as bad, it cannot be surprising or jarring to him.

Go rewatch the clip and listen for it. When Mike first turns around to Will. Mike was surprised and jarred. When Will told him he had the power to save El, something about him saying that was bad to Mike. To Mike.

Boom. And everything changes.

Everything changes.

One single sound effect tells us that in this scene in which Mike tells El he loves her, Will surprises him by encouraging him to, and everything after that changes him for the worse. Hearing Will changed Mike for the worse. And what it meant he had to do just pushed him further downhill.*

*(hence Mad World being his official playlist's ily speech song)

(it should be noted: there are shorthand hopeful sounds just as simple as this boom to include had they wanted to. They're professionals. Had they wanted to convey that Mike wanted to tell her but didn't have the strength until Will told him to and he was empowered by it, there are single sounds just as short that can do that.)

Anyway, add it to the list of proof that Mike had hope and was intending to go towards Will until this moment crushed him and changed the trajectory entirely.

[the-gateway-to-madness]

Jack Frost Headcanons

Jack likes strong flavors, be they spicy, sweet, or savory. He likes mild stuff too- point is he'll try any food, pretty much.

Jack has good coordination and steady hands, and as such is very gentle when he handles most objects (and animals, and people).

Jack is a Ravenclaw with ADHD: he's not ambitious or trying to join the Guardians, who are powerful and well-known. His fighting style is more about maneuvering and strategizing than guts or power (unless you really upset him like when Sandy died). The being-easily-bored and good sense of humor would indicate intelligence as well.

Jack has a great sense of rhythm but dances like a dork on purpose.

Jack is a night owl.

Jack creates a proper hideaway for himself in Burgess after the movie. Something about the forming and confirmation of his identity in the movie makes me think he'd be ready to make a nice little home or even just a safe spot afterwards.

Jack's main love language is quality time, North's is words of affirmation, Bunny's is acts of service, Tooth's is gifts, and Sandy's is physical touch. Yes, I know North seems like he should be the gifts type, and he definitely does gifts like no one else- but he comforts Jack by talking with him, and Tooth tries to comfort Sophie with a (horrendous) gift.

Jack never yells during arguments. He's seen what it does to people who've been abused, watched kids and lovers be hurt and tried to stop it- so he refuses to even risk scaring anyone that way. Even before becoming a Guardian, Jack would never raise his voice in a fight- at the very least, never face-to-face.

Jack has a handful of scars, mostly from dumb accidents or crash-landings. He refuses to tell the stories. Everyone assumes they're horrible and traumatic, but in reality, Jack was just terrible at paying attention to stuff when he first started out as a spirit.

Emotions like anger, embarrassment, or attraction raise Jack's body temperature just enough for his blood to thaw and his heartbeat to get going. It startles him every single time.

Jack is fascinated by folklore and mythology and studied them extensively to try to track down other spirits to befriend, with little success.

Jack played at least one instrument in his past life (his hands would be suited to violin or piano, especially) and instrumental music still calms and focuses him.

Jack was a farmer in his past life and still has lean, strong muscle hidden under his hoodie. He could absolutely win an arm wrestle with Bunny.

Jack is a little insecure about his Adam's apple.

Jack's powers are stronger at night due to the lack of apricity.

Unlike the animosity that a lot of the fandom portrays Jack having with other potential seasonal spirits, I think he's buddies with the other seasons, they just don't see each other much due to minimal domain overlap. The spirit of autumn is his favorite, but he's very protective of spring (mirroring the fact spring relies on winter to nourish the earth). The other seasons all treat him like their baby brother.

Jack dips french fries in Wendy's frosties unironically. He probably dips their chicken nuggets in the frosties too.

Sophie made Jack watch gen 4 My Little Pony with her and he didn't think the songs were half bad. He would never admit this to Jamie or anybody else in a thousand years.

Jack thinks birds are cool.

Cats see Jack more often than dogs. He doesn't know why, but he's willing to pet most things that move.

Stay tuned for what will probably be a lot more of these-

[totentnz]

GOOD MORNING (now evening)

today i awoke and chose violence. i wanna talk a bit about the AU @bishicat and I have. ~inspired~ by the 5 songs, 3 outfits taggame!

EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD

Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep [...] We will find you It's my own design It's my own remorse Help me to decide Help me make the Most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever Everybody wants to rule the world [...] There's a room where the light won't find you Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down When they do, I'll be right behind you I'm so glad we've almost made it So sad they had to fade it Everybody wants to rule the world [...] I can't stand this indecision Married with a lack of vision Everybody wants to rule the— Say that you'll never, never, never, never need it

name of the AU, basically it's about change, within oneself, within a friend group, within the world. and about accepting that change - or fighting against it. each member of the trio (or V³ as we like to call em) thinks their way of living is the right one. V(alerie) is hellbent on not backing down and staying right where she is V(incent) thinks getting away from the city and the people who hurt him is the best choice V(ivienne) wants more from life, money, fancy clothes and power

TOWNIE

There's a party and we're all going And we're all growing up Somebody's driving and he will be drinking And no one's going back 'Cause we've tried hungry and we've tried full and Nothing seems enough [...] I'm holding my breath with a baseball bat Though I don't know what I'm waiting for I am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be

name of the pairing for V³ - the song is about growing up and changing. (AGAIN) bishi actually picked that one and i was on board right away, it was important to me that we pick a song we both like (the more rock-y feel of that song also helped lmao)

RYAN & DAVE

Ryan and Dave are rabble rousin', teenage cousins Difference is Dave has an off switch, and Ryan doesn't 20 years later now Dave behaves rank and file And Ryan's a burnt out adult, last gasp, wild child

guess what this one is about! CHANGE! (are you tired of it yet?) mostly it is about viv picking a different path than v though - one stayed exactly where she has always been while the other chose to change. ALSO in the music video they are DOGS and we love a dog motif

6:26 in the morning, didn't need alarm I couldn't sleep a wink, I'm betting my whole farm Left Dave's place at eight, just drove, didn't really talk I shook his hand and popped the door to make the walk Applied for admission at the detox shop Got to the door it said open, ten o'clock It's freezing out, no way that I can make it to ten Look back at my truck at my only real friend

some time ago we talked about viv helping v on her healing journey (girlie cannot catch a break from being a babysitter even after she got johnny a body LMAO) and even though v never ends up at rehab (maybe that will change) it still fits pretty well.

NEVER LET ME DOWN AGAIN

I'm taking a ride with my best friend I hope he never lets me down again He knows where he's taking me Taking me where I want to be I'm taking a ride with my best friend [...] We're flying high We're watching the world pass us by Never want to come down Never want to put my feet back down on the ground [...] See the stars, they're shining bright (never let me down) Everything's alright tonight (never let me down)

V³ had a pretty big fight at one point. viv was always going to leave for arasaka but v never understood or accepted it. they argued for hours and when vincent didn't chose her side, v stormed off to go on a weeklong bender. when she returned the flat was empty, both her siblings had left -and betrayed her. naturally, viv also felt betrayed by her childhood friend, all she asked for was support but instead she got called a traitor. i like to imagine this song plays on the radio one day after their reunion

THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT

When we were young, the future was so bright The old neighborhood was so alive And every kid on the whole damn street Was gonna make it big and not be beat

Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn The kids are grown up, but their lives are worn How can one little street swallow so many lives?

TO ME this is THE streetkid song but it hits hard especially in this universe. as i mentioned before V³ thinks they picked the right path, they aren't gonna be beat (and honestly vincent is the only one who succeeded). viv had a good run but then she got kicked from the corp, lost her newest best friend, DIED and now has a whole other person stuck in her skull. v was stubborn, was homeless for a bit and is overall in a bad way (but then again, that's the only way she knows how to live so it's not as bad TO HER)

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW

THIS IS A BIG ONE SO BUCKLE IN FOLKS bishi and i had been talking about a personal quest for v and we ended up on this: one day they are driving somewhere while listening to the radio when a host teases a special treat! they have exclusive rights to the music of NC born and bred band Rotten! (yeah you guessed it! V's band) naturally this fills her with pure rage and viv knows this isn't going to end well (babysitting time!) v knows exactly who did this and is hellbent on rectifying this (there is more but yall are gonna have to wait for the day i decide to write it lmao) As Above, So Below is the name of the job! it is a song that v wrote but only she knows about it. while viv wasn't a band member she was there for it's founding and a few first concerts, she filmed a lot of it and even ran the merch stand a bit

I won't lie, it's quite temptin' Your handouts and your bones I won't lie, they're quite empty Your promises and your stones

If you sell, they'll buy Don't feel, just sign If you sell, they'll buy Don't think, stay blind

Give me the control Just sign on the dotted line Give me the control He whispered softly Give me the control You're crawling inside my mind Give me the control Don't you fight me?

As above, so below What you reap is what you sow What you give comes back three fold As above, so below

YES the song is about v not wanting to sign with a label and it is her final fuck you to the world of music. in reality that song is incredibly underproduced since by the time it was recorded the band had already broken up. v did ALL of it: singing, instruments, songwriting. editing magic made it come to life. depending on how it ends (yes there are multiple outcomes) viv will receive a shard with ALL of rotten's music, including THIS unreleased song and even some backstage footage from way back in the day when viv was still around.

See I've danced with the enemy We have secrets, no one knows Yeah, I've danced with my enemy I wore her skin and her clothes

honourable mention because this part is very viv coded

instead of outfits i present you! some soul crushing quotes! i hope you enjoy! :3c

[arbitrarygreay]

Thoughts on Altair

Skipped any numbers that overlap with Vega

Camera really loves SakuRio, while Maria is probably the best figure to watch from stage view (magical Eripon dancing aside).

Goodness, they really beat the formation sync into MM, as a group performance they're a cut above everyone else in H!P. You can always watch MM in the wide view and they impress. They don't need the VTR. (And this is with most groups in H!P fielding noobs right now, including MM.)

Please UF don't ruin Byonz with forever rotating lineup. Their chemistry is so good, they vibe with their own music so much, and that unified identity is gold. H!P needs a singular group that wins on stability (which by definition should not be MM, no matter how long 9th-11th took their fucking sweet time about it).

Speaking of fuck, UF is really going to make me pay attention to Tsubaki's music, won't they. Fuck. You can't make me care about the members, though. (Juice=Juice's music also continues to be solid, but it's pretty easy to ignore because they are like categorically unable to be weird/do unconventional things, whereas the Tsubaki songs catching my ear are not only pushing the boundaries of what music H!P can put out, but also retaining a way with the composition that is more than just "smooth", unlike what I've complained about with some Angerme offerings.)

The shuffles on Altair were way more interesting than Vega.

Moshimo still excellence, and these main vocalists recognizing that. Yuichi stay winning. Nishida making this franchise her bitch increasingly likely, and I'll support it.

Um. I think. I like my own reggaeton mashup version of C/C better than the SIOOM arrangement? Damn, Tojima Yusuke really missed the mark there. This is the dark side of maximalism.

Matenai After Five my beloved. Although seeing TGS take on the jazz dance choreo on so expertly does show some of the gaps in some of the members' experience here. Some lack that musical jazz-hands swag. Which might go to some of the sync issues I mentioned in the Vega post, as I don't need strict lockstep sync, loose sync will do just as well, which can mostly only be learned by doing more songs like this, without a driving electronic beat as a crutch. You sink/sync or swim learning how to groove. They get a little bit of it through the funk/disco songs, or the cute songs, but not wholly.

I will certainly say, there are few things more boring than shuffles doing an EDM song. All it reflects is the participating members desperately wanting to do what they think is cool, not realizing that most such songs totally squish out any personality for anyone involved, that they cannot put their stamp on the performance, so I have little reason to pay any attention compared to the other types of songs.

Kamiko really is something else, isn't she. She turned that corner all those years ago, and never looked back. Growing into a true soloist-capable diva more and more every tour, totally dominating her stages, and she knows it, which only makes her even more powerful a presence. The JOY in her performances!

Ocha Norma has some throwback H!P energy in some ways, which is really interesting when comparing them to Byonz. Byonz feels like a successor to CG, whereas ON is harking more like to Berikyuu vibes sometimes. At the same time, both groups are clearly trying to avoid the mistakes that put the Mobekimasu era in the Dark Ages. Obviously the members having grown up in the post-Kpop era and social media era plays a role in that, because that performance edge boosts the vibe of the performances in ways that Berryz could never pull off once their rookie energy wore off. Besides which that ON is not limited to the cheese, which probably helps a lot with their attitudes towards the cuter songs. They can take them as the palate cleansers that they are, instead of as a career-limiting straitjacket. Meanwhile, Byonz vibe with their cute songs because Byonz is like literally the theater club kids group of H!P? So their cute songs are pointedly a persona they can be Extra at. Their cute song performances have that pro-wrestling audience-in-on-it wink to them. Playing to the rafters.

Tsubaki pull off their Takui song in the same way as I noted for Ocha Norma above, getting to enjoy it as a palate cleanser. Juice=Juice does not do a cute song this tour, reinforcing my side-eyeing of their vibes (see: my distaste of their Down Town PV).

Oh hey, Oda learned to back off during the One Two Three adlib, instead straining for it! Good for her.

[griefabyss69]

Day 7 - Dead of Night

@stonathanweek

Day 7 - Forced Proximity

Pairing: Steve x Jonathan

Rating: T (to be safe, mostly for weed)

Words: 5.5K

Summary: Vecna is dead and hell has closed over, and so hanging out with the party ends up being pretty nice. Their friends team up against Jonathan and Steve in order to make them share a bed after one of the movie nights at Steve's.

Not beta'd or edited, so if you notice something super weird lemme know!

(Title from an Orville Peck song)

--

The first party gathering after Vecna gets fried to ash is pretty normal.

It's not the first time that Jonathan has hung out with people after the gates had been closed, again, but it's the first time everyone has convened in the backyard of the house he'd lived in before he moved to Cali.

He expected staying here to be weirder, especially with the furniture they cobbled together and the utter lack of stuff, emptier than a cheap motel, but given everything else about his life, he's able to just take it in stride.

It's a backyard barbecue kind of day, and Hopper is showing him some things on the grill, a lesson in how to care for the people around him that his own dad never gave him, and he can tell that Jim knows he's a little high but they're both not saying anything.

He knows Hop understands, as long as he keeps it all away from the kids.

It's hot out, June sun scorching them all but after a few months of hoping the weather will go from apocalyptic to normal, it's a fucking relief. The heat just feels like clouds right now anyway, despite the sunburn he knows he'll have later. And hell, it reminds him of California, where he had enough distance from the extra special type of horrors that it had felt like a bad dream most of the time.

Of course, the weed helped with that.

He learns how to not burn the burgers that Hop set on the grill and he's handed a pair of tongs, not really able to watch the meat too closely before it's cooked enough to resemble something more edible. He almost became vegetarian after some of the shit he's seen, but. The weed helps.

Flipping the burgers is a little difficult at first, but he doesn't burn the damned things, so that's a win, and Hop's hand clapped on his shoulder and a "Nice job, kid" muffled through the bite he takes is a victory of some kind.

Argyle appears from God knows where with Steve beside him, both with glassy eyes and easy smiles, both with great hair that catches nicely in the sunlight. He offers them burgers and the light that comes over Steve's face could sustain him for a week.

He really didn't think he would've missed Steve of all fucking people, but the guy is charming. Or magnetic. He's like when you get to close to the TV when it's all staticky, or when you get to sleep in after a long night out.

They're still awkward around each other, especially now that Nancy has pretty much moved on from them both, and like, it's either her or monster trauma that they have in common, so he's never really sure what to say to him.

Steve's high though, and maybe through the power of weed and friendship and Argyle they could find a topic that isn't painful.

He finishes with the grill, letting Hopper deal with turning it off, getting a couple burgers for himself before he goes and sits next to them on the blanket in the grass.

"Hey m'dude!" Argyle says, happy to see him as always. He doesn't even have to think about smile, it's just a reflex when he's around his best friend, and he knows into his shoulder a bit.

"Hey man," he says, then looks at Steve, who's polishing off a burger. "Hey Steve."

Steve swallows and gives him a nod, looking pretty satisfied.

He knows the burgers aren't that good, but when he's high enough everything tastes delicious.

"So m'dude here, I mean my other dude," Argyle's saying, gesturing at Steve. "He was telling me about something I think you'd find absolutely splendid."

Well, Jonathan likes splendid, even if Argyle's standards for it might be fully dependent on how he's feeling and not the objective splendidifity of the thing in question.

"Mm?" He asks, mouth full. It's nice to just sit out here and eat with people.

Steve shoots Argyle a nervous look, before sighing and tapping his fingers on his legs.

"You've met Eddie, right?"

He's met him a few times, reintroduced every time by someone in the party who doesn't think they've spoken yet. After the second time it had been annoying, but after the fifth time they just started to find it funny.

"'Course, he and Will are working on something."

"Right, right," Steve chews on his lip, glancing over at where most of the kids are, yelling either encouragement or insults about Robin and Eddie's arm wrestling match. He can't tell.

He's not sure they should even be doing that, given how fucked up Eddie had been coming out of the hospital, but hey, he's nobody's doctor, and the dude is a grown man and all.

"And you know that Will, like," Steve pauses, letting a vague gesture decorate the air. Jonathan's eyes follow his hand, admiring it. "Will came out to us, recently."

He keeps his voice low, as if there's anybody here who wouldn't have guessed, and Jonathan appreciates it anyway.

He just nods, waiting for the splendid thing.

"Well uh, this is a secret, and I asked if I could tell you guys, and he said yes, so like…" Steve trails off, losing his train of thought for a second. "Eddie's into dudes too."

It's barely a whisper, but Jonathan hears it loud and clear.

And that's great, because Will needs a role model. Though someone getting chased around town because some Stepford nightmare was convinced he knew black magic isn't really a great outlook for a gay kid.

"So he uh, you know. Has someone to look up to in that like, realm."

Steve is so awkward with this, but his heart is right there in it, unlike all of the other times they've been awkward with each other. It makes him wish he was higher so he didn't notice.

Hell, maybe if he was higher, he wouldn't be too scared to let Steve and Argyle know that Will has more than one role model in the realm. But even Will doesn't know that yet, and Jonathan keeps going back and forth on it.

Maybe it'd help to try hanging out with either of these guys sober, so he could see if it was just the weed helping him appreciate the natural beauty of his friends or not.

"That's awesome," he says, genuinely happy and everything. His eyes catch on Steve's for a moment, putting a thrill in his spine that's so different from the random aches and pains he gets there that he almost jumps. "And everyone's being cool about it? About Will I mean."

Argyle's shoulder bumps into his and he leans against him a little bit.

"Yeah, even Mike," Steve says, giving him a wry kind of shrug. "He was worried about him."

Mike is an interesting problem, in that he's not a problem but presents himself like one. He knows the defensiveness of a teenaged boy, he'd only just grown out of his very recently. He's not ever sure if he was truly worried about Mike being homophobic for real or if he would've just gotten scared because Will likes him.

"That's good to hear," he says, leaning his head on Argyle's shoulder. Steve's eyes follow him head and Jonathan is acutely aware, not for the first time, just how this looks.

But Argyle is the coolest straight dude he's ever met, fitting in with anyone despite physically standing out in a lot of ways. Maybe it's all the colors, he looks like a pride flag somedays. So he doesn't mind about if people think they're gay together, and Jonathan doesn't care because he thinks in another life he could've kissed him before he dragged him into the Upside Down shit.

Steve gives a quick glance at Argyle, who's finished eating and is just leaning back against him, head coming to a rest on top of his own.

"Good vibes, man," he says, getting an arm around him to squeeze him before letting go. "Burgers were good, I'm gonna get you making good pizza one of these days."

Jonathan has to close his eyes, a smile slipping onto his face without his permission. He likes cooking, it's pretty complicated sometimes and he doesn't have the natural affinity for it that other people seem to, but when he treats it like a puzzle it usually turns out pretty well. Just gotta follow the steps.

Between Argyle and Hop, maybe he'll get good at the kinds of food most of them eat when they gather like this, and maybe they won't have to order pizza at Big Kid Movie Nights at Steve's.

Steve's foot rests against his own and it feels… it's something. They're both wearing shoes and it should be nothing, but his heart does the same thing it does when Argyle asks if he wants to bro-cuddle whenever they crash in the same room.

--

It's a movie night at Steve's, and Argyle, that crafty vibe based bastard, has caught onto him.

Not onto his like, weird mancrush on himself, but like, his weird mancrush on Steve.

It's okay though, because he'd spend the whole day and the whole first movie stone cold sober, experimenting with thoughts about Steve's hair, or his lips, or his big eyes, too scared to look at Argyle and do the same. The weird denial he has with Argyle is good, like he has another layer of love for his best friend that won't ever get ruined by trying to do anything about it.

If it had just been the weed making him feel like that he would've broken his own damn heart.

So Steve was his target, and he had to admit to himself that even sober and honestly pretty fucking cranky, that the guy was beautiful. Still full of magnets, and shit.

He giggles into his popcorn, absolutely not sober anymore. He's smushed on the couch between Eddie and Steve, deposited there by his best friend in the whole wide world after he took him to the backyard and smoked him out and told him things he'd only just let himself believe an hour ago.

Eddie's nice, a tactile kind of guy that if Jonathan had met at the right time he probably would've gotten a little crush on him too. So he doesn't mind his fidgeting or how he points out stuff about the movie to both him and Steve, even though he's probably seen this movie more than he has.

Given time, he thinks they'll be friends, if Eddie ever starts smoking weed around people again. All he needs to know is that they vibe while they're high and he's sold, okay? Like Argyle says, you gotta have souls that work together when you get wizard high with someone.

His soul really feels like it's vibing with Steve right now, the weed soothing down the anxious spikes in his stomach. Argyle had the right idea, making sure he smoked enough of the joint to not start getting flustered around Steve.

Steve, who's got an arm around the back of the couch, just to make more room so they're less crammed in together, but it still does something to him.

Like, makes him give a quiet but fake yawn just so he can sigh and lean back further, relaxing enough that Steve's arm is pressed up against the back of his neck. Steve looks over and Jonathan gives him a sleepy smile before turning back to the TV, pretending to take in literally anything about where they are in the movie right now.

While nothing else happens through the rest of the movie, Steve never moves away, letting the contact between them grow into a beacon in an ocean of air, the skin of his arm against the hair at the back of his neck.

--

Sleeping arrangements are weird this time, despite everyone had everything figured out last time.

He thinks it was Eddie who messed it up, but he's not sure if it was on purpose or not, the amused look he'd given Jonathan could've been just because he genuinely started falling asleep and not because he was waving a big gay flag about the most casual of things.

Either way, Eddie had said he needed to get up early to help his Uncle with something, and so he should crash at his place tonight, because otherwise he'd have to get up even earlier to get home and the mistress of time was already stretching his limits.

Jonathan couldn't help the laugh at that, because Eddie was funny, even if he was pretty sure the guy is fully onto him already and he hasn't even had time to properly settle into his mancrush.

Usually he crashes with Argyle wherever there's space, both of them aren't picky once they've been smoking, but Argyle fakes a stomach issue and says he's just gonna take the couch. Jonathan knows he's lying because he fucking winks at him.

So with Eddie not joining Steve and Argyle not joining Jonathan, there's still Robin who usually bunks with Nancy but Nancy isn't here tonight, which Jonathan tries not to think about in either a positive or negative way.

Robin considers Steve, who's looking at Jonathan like he's going to say something, and she smirks right at the back of that gorgeous head.

Honestly, she should be smirking at Jonathan, but he'll take it, not sure if he could withstand the strength of it right now.

"Alright, I'm gonna hit the hay, I'll be in the spare room if you need me."

She gives Steve a businesslike clap on the arm and nods at the others, grabbing her half finished beer and heading upstairs to hog the big mattress for herself.

He doesn't blame her, even when it leaves him and Steve.

There shouldn't be a problem here, there's a den downstairs with a pull-out couch, and he's not like, scared of basements even if it might feel creepy and he honestly hasn't slept alone that much the past few months at all.

But Steve either sees all of that in his head somehow, or has the same issue he does, because he gives him a wry shrug like at the barbecue and nods at the stairs.

"There's a basket of clean laundry in my room, grab whatever you want for PJ's," he says, heading into the kitchen. "I'm just gonna get Argyle set up and I'll be right up."

That's an invitation, right? For clothes at the very least.

Jonathan meets Argyle's eyes and expresses very thoroughly with his eyebrows about however he feels about this, though he can't even decide on if this rules or if it sucks.

Argyle just laughs and gives him a hug before giving him a light shove towards the stairs.

"I'll be alright in the morning, my man. Just did things in the wrong order, you know? Beer before weed, was a mistake."

Jonathan sighs, knowing just how big of a lie that is, but he can't help but laugh under his breath too.

"Alright, g'night then."

--

Okay so Steve's room, he's seen it before.

He's never fucking prepared though.

Steve finds him standing in the doorway, head tilted as he squints at all of the plaid.

"Uh, you good?" Steve asks, and he nods slowly, going in.

"I'm never going to get used to your walls, dude."

Steve laughs, carefully shutting the door behind him.

"I might do something about it one of these days," he says, and there's a rustle and then he throws his shirt at the corner where the dirty laundry hamper is.

Right, changing. Here, with Steve. Thank you Argyle, truly.

He goes over to the folded laundry sitting in front of the dresser, seeing a lot of different colors and but it's dim in here, he can't make out what's shirts and what's pants and what's stuff he should keep his hands off of.

Steve's pants hit the same spot his shirt had, and he comes up close by Jonathan's shoulder.

"Do you mind if I sleep in my shorts?" He asks, and Jonathan swears he did something crazy like sucked all of the moisture out of his mouth like he was at the dentist. You'd think he would have noticed if Steve was had one of those weird mouth vacuums, though.

"It's all good," he says, opting to just do the same. He's too high for the anxious game of not messing up all of the folded laundry while finding something that'll fit him and also is appropriate.

"How's Argyle?" He asks, once they've settled in and Steve has turned off the lamp.

It's not nearly dark enough in there, even though normally he hates sleeping in a strong darkness, because he can look over at Steve and see his face and his hair and his bare shoulders, chest hair peaking out just a little bit from the blanket.

The blanket they're sharing.

He should've opted for a shirt, at least.

"He should be alright, said he was just crashing alone as a precaution. At least I think that's what he meant."

Jonathan gives a quiet laugh, and Steve nudges him with his elbow.

"Normally I can understand him, but he's been weird today," he says.

"Yeah, he really has," Jonathan says back, letting his voice quiet down to a whisper. "Nobody's the same everyday, though."

Steve gives a thoughtful hum, moving around to stretch a little.

"He also told me you guys usually cuddle," he says, and Jonathan's not high enough anymore to miss how he's failing to sound as casual as he probably wants to.

He swallows, trying to think through the little alarm going off in his nerves.

"Yeah, it's honestly pretty nice. His girlfriend thinks it's cute."

Steve laughs, like he thinks it's cute too.

"You know, you're pretty cool about things for a straight guy," Steve says over the blood pounding in Jonathan's ears. "I mean, even a lot of people with gay family aren't cool about stuff. It's uh, it's nice."

The way Steve says it makes him stop whatever vague affirmation that was going to come out of his mouth and he lets his teeth click shut. It's not that Steve thinks he's straight, because he's supposed to, it's.

Steve sounds like he's talking about it from the other side, like he's coming from Will or Eddie's side of things.

"Yeah," he manages, forcing a smile onto his face. "You are too, you know."

And like, they do have that fight, back in high school, where Steve totally wasn't cool. But it's not like he didn't fuck up back then either, and things seem to be a lot different for them both now that they're out and even more traumatized than they used to be.

But he knows trauma isn't what makes someone gay.

"Yeah, except," Steve murmurs, so quiet that Jonathan wonders if he meant to say it.

He nudges the back of Steve's hand with his own, trying to be encouraging.

Steve sighs, turning his face to look at him.

"I'm not, you know?"

And Jonathan, sue him, wants to be sure, even though Steve sounds like he's trying to swallow fire here.

"Not uh, cool? Or not straight?" He asks, wondering which Steve thinks is worse. Admitting to being homophobic, or admitting to being gay?

"Straight," Steve whispers, looking back up at the ceiling.

"Cool," Jonathan whispers back, bumping their hands again. "Me neither."

He can't help the satisfaction he gets at the hitch in Steve's breath, or in the wide eyed look he levels on him, surprised and ready to yell about it in either excitement or betrayal.

Jonathan laughs, miming zipping his lips, and Steve smacks at his arm.

"Dude, your gay brother thinks you're straight," he hisses, offended even though he's grinning.

He shrugs.

"I dunno, thought it was the weed for the longest time," he says, having trouble whispering through his smile. "Had to sober up for a day and test it out."

"Okay, but…" Steve trails off, frowning in thought. Jonathan wants to touch his eyebrows. "You still could've told him first."

"You know how I wouldn't drink anything until after the first movie?" He asks, nudging Steve's full arm with his own full arm and just leaving it there. He's so fucking grateful for the A/C, letting him do this without immediately sweating to death. "Today was the test."

Steve's mouth drops open and it's bewitching, a little bit shiny with his chap stick. Nancy had tried to get him into the habit too, but he kept losing his, but he knows what it feels like to kiss someone who can keep ahold of theirs and like, remembers to use it.

Of course, Steve's mouth is nicer than Nancy's, which feels like a traitorous thought even though Nancy is his ex.

It's just a fact, though.

Steve's saying something that he completely misses, so he tries blinking the thoughts of his mouth out of his mind before meeting his eyes.

"Hmm? I missed that," he says, wondering if this counts as flirting.

Steve stares at him for a moment before he breaks out into a grin, one beautiful eyebrow raising a little bit.

"So I could've said anything, and you wouldn't know," he says, and Jonathan laughs.

"We are not playing Schrodinger's statement."

Steve giggles into his pillow, a hand coming up to try to muffle himself as he meets Jonathan's eyes.

Fuck, he's cute.

"Is Argyle seriously the straight one?" He asks, laughter still hanging around the edges of his words.

"As far as he's told me, yeah," Jonathan shrugs, unable to look away from Steve's face again. "Eden was surprised too, though it worked out for her."

"And not you," Steve surmises, getting a little serious, like he's totally reading Jonathan wrong.

"It doesn't need to work out for me, since he's my best friend," he says, looking at the piece of Steve's hair that curls over his forehead. "What we have is really special to me, but it's like, I don't actually think I'd be happy if we dated."

Steve nods slowly, sucking on his lip for a cruel second.

"Like me and Robin, or me and Eddie."

"You know, we kissed once," Jonathan says, even though it was sort of unspoken that he and Argyle wouldn't tell anyone. "It was uh, really nice. But I could tell he wasn't into it like I was."

Steve nodded again, eyes flickering to his mouth.

"Yeah," he mumbles, "Are you sober right now?"

He knows that line, it's one Nancy has asked him before. It's so familiar that the sweetness of it winds him a little, even as his brain scrambles to determine if it's actually a prelude to what he thinks it is.

"As sober as I usually am these days," he answers, not sure if that's good enough to make him comfortable. "Why, you need me to drive somewhere?" He tacks on, giving him a grin that he thought was teasing and Argyle once said made him look like he was a saucy minx, but like, in a good way.

Steve chokes on whatever he was going to say next, glancing at the clock on his wall before turning back towards him.

"Unless you'd rather I ask you to make out at like, the Look Off instead of right here, I don't."

Jonathan's heart starts pounding again, and he's surprised even though he pretty much saw this coming. He's just not used to like, good things catching him off guard anymore.

"Here's good," he says, shifting closer as Steve beams at him, ducking his head to bring their faces close.

Steve's hand is gentle on his chin as he kisses him, clearly used to taking the lead, comfortable with guiding him to tilt his head where he wants it. He doesn't mind, thinks he could get used to the feeling of being guided sometimes, even though he definitely wants to see if Steve will let him take over later.

He didn't expect this, if he's honest, something slow and pretty fucking chaste as if Steve's about to walk him to his front door or something. It's still effectively, still has him pressing up against him, getting his arms around him even though they have to wiggle around awkwardly to manage it.

It's like letting the water of a hot bath slip up over his face, soothing the aches in his head that he gets when he drinks too much.

Steve's thumb brushes over his cheek and he sighs, finding that even though he's getting hard it feels like an afterthought, too caught up in something that feeds his heart to worry about it for now.

--

They slip into the kitchen before anyone else is awake, and Steve lets Jonathan start making pancakes, pulling out frozen blueberries to thaw on the stove so he can add them into the batter.

It's quiet, they don't really talk much, hadn't talked a lot last night either, both of them kissing until they fell asleep pretty much just breathing into each other's mouths. Which, don't get him wrong, was kind of gross, but at this point he can't bring himself to mind, can't stop smiling down at the stove as he cooks.

Flipping pancakes is easier than flipping burgers, probably because he's had a lot more practice at it, and soon Steve's out of tasks so he's just watching him, leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over the shirt he blindly pulled on before coming downstairs.

He looks handsome, with the edges of his mouth curved up into a smile, his hair finger-combed into something presentable enough for the people who've seen it covered in blood and bat guts.

"You're good at that," he says, watching Jonathan's hands.

He has to focus not to fumble the spatula at the attention, not wanting to immediately prove him wrong after he just gave him a compliment.

"Mom taught me," he says, feeling a little bit of pride when he says it. She's the first person in his life to teach him how to make something good, instead of forcing him to hurt something to prove himself. "Though there's still a lot of stuff I want to learn."

Steve stands up properly, coming over to him to put his arms around his waist. It's distracting, but he's just poured some fresh batter in, and has a minute.

"Like what?" Steve asks, hooking his chin over Jonathan's shoulder.

"I know breakfast pretty well, and lunch is usually easy stuff like sandwiches. So supper, I guess," he says, watching the batter bubble a little bit.

"I know mostly suppers," Steve says, turning his face to half mumble into his neck.

He shivers, almost dropping the spatula, caught between turning the stove off to tilt his head for whatever Steve wants with him, and trying to flip the pancake while he's this distracted.

"Could teach you some, if you teach me breakfast."

Steve's lips graze his skin, lighting him up inside.

"Yeah," he gets out, trying not to sound as breathless as he feels. "I'd like that."

[residentraccoon]

Esc 2023 Top 37

1. Moldova - Might be biased, might not, this is staying as my first, I love everything about this

2. Portugal - Man these upbeat, slightly retro songs with a touch of ethnic flavor are like a magnet to me, I'm absolutely loving this as well lmao

3. Latvia - How can such a soft and sweet song like this be so powerful at the same time. This is the Með hækkandi sól of this year for me, and I hope they'll surprise Q just like Systur did

4. Estonia - It gives me so much hope and confidence in myself, like it's empowering but not in a cheesy way. The instrumental is pure art as well

5. Czechia - Yes girls bring the harmonies. It's been playing in my head a lot lately

6. Norway - *sigh* okay I fell into liking this one, I admit. I overlooked the earworm-ness of this song and she carries the whole performance so well.

7. Australia - Had to put it in my top 10, dated dad rock never fails to dissapoint me (unless said dad rock is called Intention)

8. Iceland - Sounds a bit 80s which I love, she has so much energy on stage

9. Slovenia - Such a charming britpop, I love these guys

10. Finland - The power of cha cha cha has gotten to me, send help 🫣

11. France - What a neat bop, also love her style a lot

12. Spain - Sounds pretty bizarre and hypnotic, I actually like how hauting it sounds lol

13. Serbia - Same as Spain, his presence is also really cool ngl

14. Sweden - Grew off me a bit, I must say that the staging is really good, but in studio it really doesn't elevate to the same way it does live. As much as I like Loreen, her staging, and her song, which is good indeed, I don't really want her to win? It's weird I know lmao

15. Austria - I've seen this being very popular in the fandom but honestly beside the message and the vocals it just doesn't really do that much for me. It's catchy yes, but not something I'd go out of my way to listen tbh

16. Armenia - Didn't quite impress me but gotta appreciate that clumsy but sweet english used in her lyrics. They feel so real

17. Malta - Kinda grower?? The sax is too catchy

18. Italy - It's a very sweet, calming song. I noticed Italy is pretty underrated this year, which is a bit weird because they're always talked about

19. Germany - Wish I liked this one more but I feel it lacks more enthusiasm or power? Still I kinda like this glam rock style

20. Georgia - Oh my god girl what are those lyrics? Tag yourself I'm "love is a wordless". Other than that, I like the beat but man, those lyrics are giving me last stage dyslexia and totally ruin the song for me :(

21. Romania - It's not the worst song of this year 😤 I know most are put off because of that staging but listen the studio or his other live versions and I assure you it's more bearable this way. Even so, I agree that one might find the vocals grating or the pacing weird, but honestly I don't have a problem with that. It's a pretty competent song.

22. Denmark - Get rid of that awful vocoder and we'll talk later. I really like how colorful the music video is, and it's another one that I started liking a bit more, but still doesn't do that much for me

23. Netherlands - Yawned like 3 times listening to this, it's pleasant but that's it

24. Azerbaijan - Ahh finally they're sending something self-written and not produced by swedes. Even if it sounds like a camp rock-esque ballad that's a bit filler, I find it more heartfelt and authentic than literally everything else Azerbaijan wanted to bless us with in recent years, and hell, do I like this more than those ones

25. United Kingdom - A pretty nice pop song, but that's all I have to say. I think it will come alive more on stage

26. Ukraine - It's decent and catchy, nothing groundbreaking

27. Cyprus - Other than the chorus, it's extremely bland and way too polished imho

28. Switzerland - I quite liked the pacing of it, but those lyrics get a bit too much on the "war bad, give us points" side which rubs me the wrong way. That or I might be overanalyzing it

29. Lithuania - Too whiny for my ears, but the final part is pretty cute

30. Albania - What turkish soap opera is this, I need to know. Speaking of the song, I feel like it wants to be this grand, empowering ballad but falls flat and fails to be so

31. Belgium - Well, it's catchy and groovy and that's about it

32. Greece - Why does this remind me of Snap a bit? Maybe it's the rhythm or his pronunciation. I love how his voice sounds, but I feel like this song really doesn't do him justice. It kind of builds up to something but in the end nothing happens

33. Ireland - If the word "bland" would be a song. Just a typical, most Irish in Eurovision entry there is. No offense, their vocals are good at least

34. Israel - Sounds like 2012, not in a good way. Repeats the same thing in the chorus, tries to be a bOPppPp yassss grl powahhhh, we're bein phenomen femininallll today yassss dance break cuz we are quwueennzzz- okay sorry, this one has everything I dislike in a song ever. Halfway listening I wanted to close it, but I had to finish it to have a proper opinion and rank it

35. Poland - Same as Israel but somehow even less tolerable and more painfully generic, walmart Inna vacation at the beach kind of song I'd hear while taking a walk outside. Also the nf shitstorm helps me dislike the song even more, and I didn't even listen to Jann Gladiator

36. San Marino - Please this sounds like something I'd hear in Selectia Nationala in like 2017 that places last 😭

37. Croatia - This doesn't even remotely sound like a song, I'm sorry but could never listen to this more than the first minute

[ultraericthered]

Anime Update V3 13

From Me To You - Avoiding Kazehaya, Yano and Yoshida due to the rumors, Sawako attempted to return to her loner ways from before she gained friends only to find she's unable to go back after having experienced companionship and shared joy with others. Yano and Yoshida, meanwhile, found themselves still so worried about Sawako during all this, signifying the sincerity of their friendship. Since the fifth episode cut off at an abrupt place, I had to watch the beginning of the next episode to see how the bathroom confrontation ended. Suffice to say, Sawako and her two girl friends are cool once again.

Hunter x Hunter - Zeno played his part in using a golden flaming Nen dragon tecnique in order to lift Netero and Mereuem away to where they're to have their big fight, while Morel continues to fight Pouf, who's now made a cocoon for himself because he's going to power up and transform, and Knuckle and Shoot are both taking on Youpi. Ikalgo is set on rescuing Palm while still using the dead Flutter as his host and has raised suspicions of other Chimera Ant troops, especially the ever suspicious and paranoid Welfin. Making it worse, Melereon also splits off from the Hunters and has to hold his breath to stay invisible, nearly running afoul of Welfin too! At the end, Gon and Killua have finally located Pitou, so Gon's ready to fight and kill!

SHUFFLE! - Welp, that arc with Primula seems resolved and I'm sort of wondering what the point of it was. Did we really need to go through all that just to get the backstory of Nerine and Lycoris, and to expunge Lycoris from Nerine so that she could discover what her real feelings were and be more seriously in the running for Rin? Maybe we'll get a deeper meaning later, but right now I'm stumped. But I guess I can say it's made Nerine a stronger character, and I like Rimu better now that I know what her deal really was the whole time.

The Case Files of Lord El-Melloi II - Waver and Gray investigated into the train murder and how it might connect with the planned auction of the Mystic Eyes. Waver confrontsed Adashino about her presence on the train, and she revealed she's looking into matters of her own, such as who the mysterious patron behind Gueldoa and Trevor's unsanctioned experiments was. Waver and Gray even end up fighting a new Servant by the name of Hephaestion, and she claims to have been a confidante of none other than the King of Conquerors himself! So what's she doing nearly killing Waver here?

KonoSuba - Got to see two episodes, the first being the proper debut of Megumin's hapless best friend and sworn rival Yunyun (who's always gonna be fun to have around 'cause in the dub it's like Nico and Kasumi being rivals) and the one after where Kazuma and Aqua go dungeon crawling in a catacombs swarming with undead fiends. Not really a fan of whatever recurring bit they're doing with Darkness at Lord Aldarp's place, it feels random, gross, and a bit predictable in how you know it's not going to be how it looks like.

K-On! - Watched the premiere episode and I can definitely see the influence it had on so many later Cute Girls Do Cute Things anime, especially music-based ones like Love Live!, Sound! Euphonium, Bocchi the Rock!. and even the currently going Girls Band Cry, but I've developed no attachment to anyone yet aside from being able to indentify each girl's VA. They're funny, but that's about it so far. My only real point of contention is that I think the ED song sucks. Isn't these girls whole thing that they're the Light Music Club? A song so loud and hard does not fit with that vibe, and it's especially lacking in comparison to the opening song, which is really, really good.

Eureka Seven - This episode was spent on both Holland opening up about his past with Renton's sister during some bathtime male bonding with Renton, and Eureka deciding she wanted to express herself and her feelings for Renton through a facial makeover, which goes about as well as you'd think it would given that it's Eureka. And bookending it was scenes back at military hedquarters with Dewey analyzing and re-adjusting for his big plan, including a call for visibly shaken and frightened Anemone to play some part in it that only she can play, and acting like a gross predator again. Fuck it, as awful as Holland could be (and he still has volatile, over-aggressive moments, though at this point it's played as a joke that's at his expense too), he's actually a saint compared to that vile piece of shit brother of his!

Air - Very comforting old school Jun Maeda vibes from the start of this series, which I think was Key's first venture into a one cours anime well before Angel Beats! I don't know how to feel about Vic Mignogna as the male lead, but I do like the female lead Misuzu Kamio well enough (though her being voiced by Monica Rial makes this extra awkward); I know how bizarre this sounds but she comes off to me as sort of a human female version of Winnie the Pooh with her childlike innocence along with how cheery and clumsy she is. However, it's Misuzu's mom and that Kano girl who are my favorites so far. Though really, who names their dog "Potato" and why does said dog go around making Pikachu noises? That's just so random!

AND

The Apothecary Diaries - It was a bit of a jarring start as Maomao got abducted and sold to the Imperial City very soon into the episode but after three months have passed, we're given the plot where there are two high class ladies in conflict with each other and rumors concerning both of their children falling ill and dying due to a curse. Maomao was able to figure out what was actually causing the illness, and that it was lead-based face-powder that both women used was a particular sort of fucked up, especially when one of them loses her child due to ignoring Maomao's message while the other saves her's due to heeding it. Then this prettyboy "eunuch" determines who wrote the note and ropes her into working not only with him but as the lady-in-waiting to the mother of the child she'd helped save! It wasn't a poor premiere by any means, but I don't think it would've hit too many people's radars were it not for Maomao's constant snarky commentary and unique way of percieving with what she deals with.

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

Playlist: Cog

Alternate Title: I’m Gonna Be A Nice Person Until It Kills Me (Oh God, Please Don’t Let It Kill Me)

This Will End by The Oh Hellos

No, I am not afraid to die It's every breath that comes before Heartache, I've heard, is part of life And I have broken more and more

So this second Cog playlist is for the second half of the campaign. The gods are coming to destroy the world, the party has to stop them, Cog is going to have to take all of the gods' magic into herself once they're dead in order to channel it back into the world, and doing so will certainly kill her. This song is about Cog facing the fact that she has just months left to live, being scared to die, but also trying to take solace in the fact that her death will protect the world and will provide the opportunity for a wonderful life for the people she loves. But it's one thing to know that, to want to go through with it for the sake of your loved ones, and another thing to have to live through the end of the world knowing you're going to die before you're even old enough to legally drink.

Peace Be Still by The Hunts

Oh darlin' don't be scared of time changing us both Death will meet our bodies but he'll never touch my soul If you are afraid well heavens don't let go Cause darlin' I will stay as we grow o-o-o-oh

This song is a continuation of the themes of the first song, about Cog knowing her friends will still love her even when she's gone, and even about the Raven Queen's assurances that when she dies she'll become part of magic itself. She'll be irreversibly changed, she won't be able to see or think or feel, but she won't be truly gone. Cog is trying so hard to convince herself that she's okay dying and not getting to see the world her and her friends fought so hard for, not getting to see their happy endings, and in game she almost got there. Honestly, both of these songs are also about Cog trying to convince her friends as much as herself that really, really, she's okay choosing to sacrifice herself.

The Crooked, the Cradle by The Crane Wives

If mercy's abound I'll be safe, I'll be sound And the devil won't know of the love I just couldn't let go I won't pretend my season won't end But I pray, when it's done, when it's through I'll have something left for you

It's one thing to know that dying to save every other person in the world is the objectively morally correct thing to do, and another feel good about doing it. The thing about Cog dying is that, despite knowing several months in advance what was going to happen, she never had time to grieve for herself. If she had shown even the slightest fear or reluctance to do what needed to be done, her friends would have insisted that they couldn't let it happen. So she had to spend those months comforting them about her impending death. And even internally, at this point Cog and the Raven Queen were bound together so tightly that the Raven Queen was always with Cog. Cog couldn't even grieve herself in her own mind, because the Raven Queen would see and know and would be disappointment by Cog's lack of conviction. So she had to be fine, she had to be her normal self, and she had to convince the people who love her most to let her die. No worries! Not stressful!!!

Soothsayer by Haunted Like Human

From the shadows of the crowd there's a hand reaching out It can offer the things that you seek There's a price to be paid but ain't that every trade? You're just looking for strength when you're weak

I'm OBSESSED with this song and obsessed with it as a Cog song and I want to make everyone listen to it forever. This wasn't initially on this playlist, I just discovered it this year, but it SO epitomizes the relationship between Cog and the Raven Queen, and how Cog got herself in a position where she was bound to the goddess of death. Each baby step Cog took to accept more of the Raven Queen's power was because she needed just a little extra magic to help her friends. Or a little bit of information, to help them make the best decision. And step by step, she ended up bound and in debt to a being that ultimately ended up becoming a friend! But one who still has high expectations that needed to be met. This song also to me has Such Lafaroh vibes, the spooky kinda dark folk sound. It really fits the cult Cog was raised in and escaped from, but whose beliefs still followed her throughout the campaign and -ultimately- to the very end. She's been out for years, but this song being on this playlist instead of the first Cog one represents the fact that she never truly escaped the role they expected her to play.

Broken Crown by Mumford & Sons

But oh, my heart was flawed I knew my weakness So hold my hand Consign me not to darkness

This was the first song on this playlist, and honestly the reason I made a second playlist at all! I heard this song for the first time and immediately began plotting a Wasteland amv in my head about it. The song is about bucking against the expectations and plans other people have made for your life, and the responsibility that's placed on your shoulders because of decisions someone else has made. This is the point in the playlist where Cog is letting herself come to terms with the fact that she resents that she has to and -more importantly!- is terrified to die! But at the same time, despite the fact that she could technically refuse to go through with it, she knows she couldn't ever make that choice because she understands what the full consequences of her selfishness would be. Also the lyrics above are special to me because in the amv in my head it's a pov shot of Cog looking down at Mystra's Heart in the box on the table in front of her and the magic knife she'd been given to replace her own heart with the one in the box. The shot then pans up to Ace across the table looking worried and like he wants to say something, but also like he wants to respect that it's Cog's decision to make. She knows she has to go through with this, because it's the only way she can save him.

Honest by JOSEPH

There's always two thoughts One after the other I'm alone No, you're not I'm alone, no, you're not

So soft, so sad, so simple; as I mentioned before, Cog spent a lot of time feeling like she had to deal with the fact that she was dying alone. Like she couldn't tell her friends how scared she was, because they wouldn't let her go through with it if they knew. She felt so alone, so small, but... When she finally confessed to her friends that she was scared and needed comfort, they were there to give it to her without a second thought. Despite feeling like she had to deal with this alone, she never did.

Don't Let Me by Morningsiders

Oh, brother, where are you? Think I need a hand Can you come pick me up? I don't know where I am But I can tell it's not where I want to be Oh, brother, help me out, keep your eye on me Don't let me go somewhere I can't find my way back, no Don't let me go

Of course there's and Ace/Cog song on here!! After the sad dip in the middle of the playlist, we're starting to emerge back into the sun now that Cog knows that she has her friends' -and her brother's- support. She's finally asking for what she wants: help to find another way of saving the world so that she doesn't have to die for it. She will sacrifice herself if it comes to it, but she doesn't want to lose everything they've fought for if there's any other options. Don't let her die! Don't let her go! Cog is asking for Ace to hold her hand and keep her safe, like he always has, as they face this last big threat together.

The Literal Heart by Penny and Sparrow

I'll be damned; I'd rather sleep. The garden's soft; my skin is weak. It's gonna take every drop of young blood I've got, to hold on, and stop, and settle down.

I love the long instrumental train at the end of this song, the way it ramps up with more and more instruments and more and more energy until it's just flying, especially when the song started so subdued. It's a microcosm of Cog's whole story, from a scared little girl afraid of her own magic to someone who is proud of who she is and loved by so many people for her courage and her kind heart and her unwavering desire to see the best in everyone. Also, Cog cut out her Literal Heart to replace it with a magic one to cement her bond to the Raven Queen and give her extra strength to her magic. Also, Cog was Literally the Heart of the party. She often acted as their conscience, especially in the early days, and loved them and the world so much that the party decided that they could be the people to focus on the big picture and save the world.

I Don't Wanna Go by Draper

Let your spirit go And watch the sky come from the deep unknown Take my hand don't make me leave because I don't wanna go

You read the title. You know what this song is about. She doesn't want to go! At the end of all this, after spending so long trying to convince herself and everyone else that she's accepted her death, Cog can finally admit that she doesn't want to die. She will, she'll go through with it, because there's no other option. But she doesn't feel like she has to pretend like she's okay with it, like she's not sad and scared, because her friends love her enough to want to carry that burden with her. The song is bittersweet; the music is triumphant, with swelling cords and horns and cymbals and drums, but the lyrics are about what's been built and what will be lost, begging to be able to stay and be a part of it. It's a song that can make some people (not me) cry a little at two in the morning about their dnd character, how young she is, how much she doesn't want to have to keep giving away pieces of herself but at the same time always wants to do the right thing, and how unfair it is that those two goals are so often at odds.

Echo 22 by Talisk

The last song, the instrumental, is a callback to the song "Echo" (also by Talisk) that was on my first Cog playlist. "Echo 22" is a sequel? Re-imagining? Of "Echo" that uses the same base melody and instruments, but that adds flourishes and more intricacies to each instrument's part in the song. The song is faster, more mature, and more alive! To me, this song is a nice way to tie the two playlists together, to show how Cog has changed since the beginning of the campaign, and to go out on a high, happy note: just the way Cog would want it.

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

8/24/2023 DAB Chronological Transcriptions

Jeremiah 51 - 52

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm China. Today is the 24th day of August,  Welcome. So great to be here with you today. Today we continue our story in the book of Jeremiah, Chapter 51 through 52, continuing on with the Evangelical Heritage Version for this week.l 

Commentary

So we see that we come out of the words of Jeremiah, out of his Prophecies And out of, you know, a lot of this is also Well, I mean it's through Jeremiah because we know that Jeremiah prophet, but a lot of it is the Lord speaking. And then it says that the words Jeremiah ended and it goes into the fall of Jerusalem. And Zedekiah being a 21 year old man is becoming king and He He does evil in the eyes of the Lord and. I I actually really love that the Bible does that. Like We get a quick introduction of who this king is. It's typically what's your name? How old were you when you became king? How long did you rule the land? Sometimes we get a mom's name and if they had done evil or done what was right in the eyes of the Lord, and then we get a summary of their life. And so this concludes the book of Jeremiah. And what an interesting place to to to leave it at. And tomorrow we'll begin a new book and I think this is so necessary. I think the book that we read not to like, jump ahead. I try to stay so present with what we read. But I did just look ahead and I was like, you know what, I'm excited to read the Book of limitations because there is nothing like this in the Christian community that I have seen or that I have found In a way that's authentic and. You know, there's there's sometimes where like you just kind of have to have a day and you're like, oh, I just want to like listen to some worship music. And you know, like you sometimes they're just looking for a specific song to speak into something or what you don't know Like that song exists. Like you type it into the search bar and you're like, this is a song I wanna listen to. Sometimes you're like. Let me just put this on shuffle. Lord, you you speak to me. What? You want to speak to me? You're like, Oh my gosh, everybody's just singing about the same thing. This makes no sense. Maybe this is just me, but. And then you like trying to find and encouraging word and everything feels like so mediocre and surface level and it's like Oh my goodness. OK, let me go read the Book of Psalms where David Is willing to be real about the struggles of his life. Or the Book of Lamentations, the book of. One of my one of my trying to think of Ecclesiastes where you just read the depths of it all and you're like.Thank God for this, because I'm not alone in what I'm feeling and this doesn't make me feel Crazy for feeling these things and so I just love that because I feel like sometimes we can lack this in our lives and not that, you know, everything that we go through, we're actually indebted to Speak about it or share on social media or share with everybody. I think there's a time and place for things for sure and I think a lot of the times we can just Move through things so An authentically and the reality is, is it's OK if you're in these places, it's OK to need something a little bit deeper.

Prayer

And so Father, I just thank you for your word. I thank you so much that we have real authenticity and People's stories, I think that they weren't perfect and that people were allowed Positions of power and even though they abused it and did it wrong that we still got to see and we get to Learned from them and see like that didn't workout for them that way. And you know maybe they they hope for that to go better but they didn't really try or they chose wickedness they chose evil. And this is how it worked out. And I just thank you, that we know so much about your heart and your word because we are in it daily and so I pray that we would just continue to Always seek you out and always desire your word.His name We pray Amen.

Announcements

Dailyaudiobible.com is our website. That's the place of connection where you can see what's happening here in the community, how to get connected and stay connected. So be sure to check that out. That is all for today. I'm China. I love you, and I'll be waiting for you here, Tomorrow.

Community Prayer Line

Greetings to you Daily Audio Bible. This is Walking in the light in Tennessee. Just checking in to say God is good and I'm still again walking in the light in Tennessee. Love you all. I listen to the prayers and the praise reports. I especially like the Praise report of the lady who said the tire fell down from another vehicle in front of her car and caused her to have an accident and destroy her car, but God is so good that he kept her safe and kept her in control throughout the entire incident. And that is the kind of God that we serve. I always, always an on time God. My prayers are with you all. I want to request prayers for my three sons. They are very different. As different as night and day. I lost my husband.Are coming up on four years ago this month and it seems like it's been a challenge for the family to be cohesive. It was already a challenge, let me not let me not give the impression that it was ever easy, but since losing my husband, it's been.More of a challenge as my sons have grown into men, and so I'm praying for.Unity of the Spirit and so that the family can be a family. That's my desire and so I know that God is able. I thank you for your prayers and I solicit your prayers as I'm praying for all of you. Still, always listen to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological.And the Daily Audio Bible that's sometimes, very often the highlight of my day. So God is good and God is love. Still walking in the light. And Tennessee, God bless you all.

Father God, we come to you covered in your blood, and Father God, we lift the Lady of victory to you. Father God, we just pray for an unexpected financial blessing to her so she's able to pay off all of these debts that we even we just pray if it don't come to her Father God that you sent.Oh, this to just pay these debts. Offer her out for her so she can continue her education, probably die. She is just what her name stays. And we pray that you just give her what her name says and father God, we also lift up. My brother dared to you little Dings and Father God we pray on September 19th.Did he come three? He'd be free to come home to his six children and his grandbaby. We pray Father God that you be his judge, jury and attorney. All these charges be dropped and thrown out. And my brother, if he is found innocent, he will be set free. The Father God, we give you all.All the glory and we just thank you anything.In Jesus name we pray. Amen. This is covered in his blood. I love you guys. My dad. See family. Have a wonderful, wonderful day. Beaches August the 14th, 2023.I just want to give a big shout out to the hardened family for continually providing for our needs as you read the scripture to us and allow us to call in for prayer. 

My name is Cheryl and I'm from northeast Nebraska, and a little over a year ago I called in for prayer for my mom.With breast cancer.And because of all of you and all people around the world through her church that were playing, she's healed. And I just want to give a big shout out she's seen them. Secret Daniel who called in thank you.I also want to send prayers.Umm.For all people who are suffering with disease because God is the Great Physician.And he's the one who creates healing in our mind, body and spirit, whether it is something physically wrong with you or emote emotionally or you're suffering with some sort of an addiction. If we pray and we know that, we all come together in prayer.He hears us and he will do something. When you're calling in, you're praying for things. Just know that I'm also praying for you.I want to pray for our schools, our administrative staff, teachers, support staff, Please bring your presence into our schools. Our children need so much protection from the outside world. Let them learn what they need to know, but not that things that they don't need to know.Thank you for the healing again of my mother from her breast cancer. We could use the quarry. And Lord, when we fall short of your expectations, we know that we can start new.So.Let's ask God for help because He loves us, He hears us, He heals us.She will try again. The whole heart and family. I give you the glory through Jesus Christ. I mean, you guys have really done anything.Thank you for the prayer. Warriors like Victoria, Soldier Lydia, Victory, Kingdom, Secret, Daniel and all of you. That Colin, I hear you. I pray with you. And I said thanks for all of you.Alright. 

[whatspastisprologue-blr]

I'm not, and never have been, a fan of Henry Cavill. It's nothing against him, more just a lack of interest on my part; there's other actors who have just really impressed me. Am I still sad he's leaving Netflix's Witcher, though?

Yeah. Over the almost-year that I've been a Witcher fan, I saw how much he loves the story and I learned how hard he fought to get the role. I respected him for fighting as much as he could to keep the show faithful to the books (and I'm not saying a show adaptation has to be 100% 1:1 faithful to the books; Lord of the Rings, Good Omens, and The Sandman are all adaptations I love). I know he said that he'd stay as long as the show was respectful of the books.

And now he's leaving. That's why I'm disappointed. To have someone who fought so hard for a project, and fought for it to be good, walk away because at least some of the Powers That Be hated the source material they were adapting? That's harsh, if it's indeed true (I'm skeptical of the scheduling conflict claim).

I'm also concerned what this means about the quality of S3 and S4. How bad will they be that Henry decided to jump ship? (Again, of that's the real reason he left, which seems possible.)

But I'm still grateful for the show. I hadn't heard of The Witcher until after S2 dropped and it felt like almost every post on my Tumblr dashboard was about this show (and, often, about Geralt/Jaskier, tbh). Sometime in January 2022, I caved and decided to binge the first two seasons.

Knowing nothing about the source material, I liked it, even if S1 was a bit confusing and it did at times feel like a Generic Fantasy Show designed to be the next Game of Thrones.

At some point, I heard of the games and the books. I'm not really a gamer but I might try them eventually. I was curious about the books, though, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to read them because I'd heard they could be a bit misogynistic and there were racist fans who were upset over casting people of color.

Eventually, I gave the books a shot and I was hooked almost immediately. It was a struggle to put the books down once I started reading and I think I finished each one in about a weekend. It's not that I don't have issues with the books (so glad Jaskier respects women in the show!) but I loved the characters, how they're more than their appearances might suggest, found family, the themes in general, the deconstruction of fantasy tropes, and the humor. The books reignited my love of reading in a way that nothing had since I first read Good Omens, just before the first season aired.

Before I began reading the books, though, when I was browsing Tumblr re: The Witcher, I kept hearing about this band, The Amazing Devil. Slightly more accurately, I kept seeing parts of their lyrics as fic titles on AO3, usually credited but sometimes not (maybe taken for granted that readers would know). It got to the point that I could guess the title was from a TAD song without having heard them because there was something unique about their lyrics. I kept seeing the band be recommended, that it was just so good. I gave the band a try and fell in love.

So, even if the show spontaneously combusts and ends in a burning wreck, I'll still be grateful for it, because it introduced me to this universe and to The Amazing Devil. I'll still have the books, I might eventually play the games, and I'll listen to whatever TAD graces the world with. And I'll be even more grateful for adaptations that actually care about the source material (which broadly refers to Lord of the Rings and the Neil Gaiman Cinematic Universe).

[bubblesuga]

Mahina || Part 1

Summary: Jungkook couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something drawing him to you. Like the moon tugs at the tides, he needed to be beside you. genre: smut, fluff, angst word count: 4,626 tags: idol!au, fantasy!au

When Jungkook awoke this morning, something was... different.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the air in his room seemed to have shifted slightly. He felt lighter on his feet, a sudden bounce to his step while he pulled himself off of the bed and towards the bathroom.

He brushes his teeth as usual, carefully scrubbing his tongue and admiring his reflection in the mirror. The eyebrow piercing was a good edition, he thinks. It accentuates his high brow and sparkles underneath even the dimmest light. Spritzing himself with cologne, he opens the bathroom door just in time.

"Jungkook, I made breakfast! Hurry up!"

Smiling to himself, he trots down the stairs of the far too large penthouse he and his band mates bought a couple years ago. He doesn't mind sharing with 6 other people, though. Having grown up with no siblings, he enjoys the dynamics at play when he speaks to the members. They're all his brothers, co-workers, family... He couldn't have asked for a better turn out when it came to finding a career path.

Yoongi is standing in the kitchen when Jungkook walks in, the smell of pork and kimchi filling his nose. Thanking his hyung, he grabs a bowl and starts filling up.

"You seem happy this morning," Yoongi raises an eyebrow, "what's going on?"

"I don't know," Jungkook shrugs, "I just woke up in a really good mood. I feel like--" he takes a bit of his food, then speaks with his mouth full, "--something amazing is going to happen today."

"We just have rehearsals?" Yoongi's statement comes off as more of a question.

"Exactly." Jungkook says, continuing to munch on his food. Yoongi looks at the younger man and shakes his head, continuing to fry meat for the rest of the members.

"Hey, did Namjoon come home last night?" Seokjin asks as he walks into the kitchen. He takes a spot beside Jungkook on the counter, reaching into his bowl and grabbing a piece of pork belly. Jungkook attempts to push his hand away but Seokjin smacks it and grabs the meat anyway.

Yoongi shakes his head again, "Nah. He stayed at the studio last night, said something about a last minute inspiration."

Jungkook has noticed Namjoon's lack of attentiveness recently. It seems as though his head is always filled with potential themes and lyrics and beats, much more so than even in the early days of the band. He's curious about his inspiration as of late but Namjoon doesn't seem to want to give away his methods any time soon.

"He's been doing that a lot lately." Jungkook thinks outloud.

"More power to him," Seokjin says, "man works his ass off and it benefits all of us."

Yeah, it definitely does.

~*~*~

"5, 6, 7-"

Hoseok's counting is cut off by the music blasting again. It's the third run through of the new choreography, Jungkook is center and carefully watches the rest of his hyungs in the mirror. He moves to the left, following Hoseok's lead and smiling as he notices a mis-step on Jimin's part. Jimin throws his head back and yells, lifting his shirt up and wiping some of the sweat that's accumulated on his brow.

"It's okay, Jiminie," Hoseok sings, "this shit is hard."

Seokjin nods in agreement, "Yeah, what the hell happened to a laid back choreography for this come back?"

"It's the last one of the year. We gotta go out with a bang." Jungkook turns back to look at Namjoon, who chugs water in the corner of the room. "Speaking of big come backs, are you working on your mixtape?"

Namjoon laughs, "Nah, definitely not. I'm trying to get a couple more songs for the album."

"Don't we have like 14 tracks?" Taehyung speaks for the first time since rehearsal started.

"16 is better than 14." Namjoon smiles, listening to Hoseok as he calls everyone over again.

"One more time. 5, 6-"

It's then that the doors burst open and Hyun enters in. "And this is the rehearsal room containing the 7 men you will be photographing."

Jungkook's eyes travel to the person his manager is talking to, and he has to hold back a gasp. He feels the way his jaw drops, but he's unable to close his mouth while he looks at you. God, you're gorgeous. Your hair cascades down your back and your clothes cling to your body in all the right ways. Jungkook struggles to tear his eyes away, but once he sees your smile he realizes there's no way he can turn away. You're literally glowing, with god-like shining eyes. Who are you?

"Boys, this is _____. She's in charge of photography and will be around to film Bangtan Bombs, behind the scenes, or anything you all want filmed and made into content."

Jungkook repeats your name in his head five times. He whispers it to himself once while everyone else heads to you to shake your hand. Jungkook stands back, finally blinking his eyes.

You step forward after having shook the hands of everyone else, "And you're Jungkook," you smile again, "I like your tattoos. Glad you're finally willing to show them."

"T- tattoos..." Jungkook mutters pathetically as he takes your outstretched hand. You giggle, shaking his hand enthusiastically.

"Well, anyway. It was nice to meet you all. I'm excited to work closely with every one of you." your words are met with a chorus of 'same!' from everyone except for Jungkook.

Hyun puts a hand on your shoulder and leads you out of the room, continuing on the tour of the HYBE building. Jungkook stares after you, the doorway now long empty but he couldn't look away. You were, by far, the most beautiful woman he has ever come across. With your simple torn jeans and black t-shirt, he feels you could pull off anything you put on your body.

It's not until Yoongi speaks does Jungkook finally tear his eyes away, "Could you have been any creepier?"

"What?"

Jimin bursts into laughter, his frustration with the choreography long gone, "You were-" he takes a deep breath in between laughter, "you were staring at her like she was the last woman on the planet!"

"W- what?" Jungkook stammers.

Jimin doesn't respond, only laughing louder as he falls to the ground. Jungkook can see the hidden smirks of the rest of the members, turning his to look at everyone, "What the fuck just happened?"

"Love at first sight?" Taehyung suggests.

"More like love at first drool." Seokjin begins laughing before he even finishes his sentence, causing the rest of the members to groan at his joke.

Jungkook doesn't react to Seokjin though, as he turns to look back at the empty doorway. If love at first sight is a real thing, Jungkook just experienced it to the fullest extent.

~*~*~

Jungkook manages to continue the rest of rehearsal without a problem, except for the way his mind kept traveling back to you. Saying your name in his head again, he washes up in the gym showers. He thinks back to the way your skin seemed to be literally glowing to him, and your bright white teeth hypnotizing him.

Never in his life has he had such a short conversation with someone that had such an impact. He wants to learn everything about you, your passions, the music you like, the books you read. He hopes that you enjoy some of the same things he does, so he has an excuse to talk to you.

Though his interest in you is certainly piqued, he has to keep in mind that you are, essentially, his employee, and fantasizing about your employee is more than inappropriate.

Fantasizing might not be the right word, but he can't help and imagine conversations between the two of you. Your voice is so pretty, it's light but carries through the room. You make sure your presence is known, though with the way you shine you didn't have to try hard. He smiles to himself, closing his eyes and rinsing off the conditioner from hair. Then, he wonders what your hair looks like when it's wet.

Okay, Jungkook. That's enough.

He shakes the water off his head and wraps a towel around his body. Exiting the shower, he realizes he forgot his bag in the dance room and sighs. Checking the time on his phone, he realizes that it's after 9 pm. The odds of anyone other than the members being here is pretty slim so he can just walk his way to the rehearsal room and change in there, right?

Right.

Tightening the towel around his waist, he walks out of the gym bathroom and strolls down the hall. He scrolls through his phone while he walks, rounding the corner and hearing your voice.

"Thank you, Mr. Lee. I'm very excited to properly start tomorrow."

"We're excited to have you," Jungkook peeks his head around the corner and watches Hyun bow to you, "your work is incredible and I know Taehyung in particular loves your shooting style."

What? Taehyung knows her? Jungkook must have missed that earlier when he couldn't stop staring at you.

"Yeah! It still blows my mind that one of the bangtan boys followed my work," you let out a small, somewhat embarrassed giggle, "thank god for Instagram."

You and Hyun share a laugh, followed by a goodbye. Jungkook gasps as he sees you turn in his direction, rushing to a small doorway and pushing himself up against the wall. You can't see him like this, not already. He's nearly naked and he knows this towel isn't big enough to cover himself as well as he should in front of a stranger, so he holds his breath as your foot steps become closer... and closer... and-

"Hey Jungkook."

Fuck.

Jungkook exhales a breath and moves to tighten the towel around his waist even more. You're eyes are not scanning his body like he thought you would be. Of course, Jungkook knows that sounds cocky of him to say but he can't help but assume that that would be the outcome of this situation. Either way, his face still burns when your eyes meet his. Those gorgeous, glowing eyes.

"Were ya hiding?" you laugh, tilting your head to the side, and Jungkook realizes that he's still pressed up against the wall.

"I- I, uh-" come on Jungkook, get it together, "Sorry. I didn't want you to see me naked."

"Oh please. When humans are naked, they're at their purest forms. It's natural, there's nothing to be embarrassed about." you smile brightly, moving a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

Jungkook raises an eyebrow. Your phrasing is odd, but he doesn't question it. Instead, he swallows, "You're right, but I'm sure you wouldn't have been okay with my dick just hangin' out. Neither would the security watching the cameras."

You laugh, a proper laugh that doesn't seem to be masked by something else, and Jungkook realizes it's melodic. A fine tune singing into his ears as one of the most beautiful songs he has ever heard. It's soft, breathy, and makes him want to make you laugh for the rest of eternity.

"Either way," you say after a moment, the hint of humor still in your voice, "nothing to be ashamed of. I'll see you tomorrow, Jungkook."

Jungkook tilts his head, watching you wave and waving back as you carry your feet towards the elevators.

~*~*~

The air was even lighter this morning, and Jungkook can't help but think you play a part in his bright mood.

Following the conversation yesterday, Jungkook walked with a grin on his face to grab his clothes. You're incredibly charismatic, an stark difference to Jungkook's usual shy and laid back personality. Despite your conversations together being minimal, Jungkook feels you and him are going to be close.

Jungkook hops out of bed and styles his hair carefully. Checking his phone as he brushes his teeth, he's received a text from Taehyung apologizing because he had already left. The house sounds still, he remembers Yoongi and Seokjin opted at staying at their respective apartments tonight, wanting to be a little closer to home. Namjoon probably stayed at the studio again and Jimin and Hoseok more than likely left with Taehyung. He shrugs, making a quick protein shake and grabbing a banana before heading out of the door.

As he drives to work, he makes note at how much more productive the members have been these days. Not that they never were, but the usual slump of exhaustion that follows months of continuous promotions, rehearsals, and recording doesn't seem to be hitting anyone this time around. Surely, the explanation is the high everyone is riding from the success of Butter and Permission To dance in the west. It's motivated everyone, including Jungkook himself.

He pulls into the parking garage, rides the elevator up to the 13th floor, and steps off only to be stopped by Hoseok.

"Jungkookie!" Hoseok wraps his arms around Jungkook's neck and squeezes him tight.

"Hoseokie!" Jungkook mocks, giving a pat to the older one's back. Hoseok pulls away with a chuckle, "I guess _____ is doing behind the scene shoots today. Something about wanting to catch us in our element."

"Oh? Like individual shoots?"

"Yeah," he smiles, "she's with Yoongi in his studio right now. She told me to tell everyone to choose a thing they do on a daily basis that might be interesting to see for ARMY."

"Should I work out?" Jungkook smirks. Hoseok rolls his eyes, patting Jungkook's pecs,

"You work out enough." Smiling, he begin walking towards the commons area,

"I'm almost to where I want to be." "Whatever Jungkook, you bully us enough already." Hoseok pats Jungkook's head and walks away, leaving Jungkook to sit on the couches for a moment.

He picks up his phone and scrolls through Weverse and Twitter for a moment. Despite not being as active as people wish he could be, he does keep up with what everyone is talking about. Currently he sees excitement about their online concert from last year coming to DVD, and "JUNGKOOK'S ABS" is trending.

Yeah, he's definitely going to work out for his behind the scenes.

Holding his phone up, he snaps a quick selfie and posts it to Twitter. Once a month seems to be a good formula.

"Jungkook?" Yoongi's voice enters the room, "She's gonna shoot with Namjoon then you."

"Ah," Jungkook stands, "time to get nice and sweaty for ARMY."

"You're such a freak." Yoongi laughs, watching Jungkook leave the room.

Jungkook begins on the treadmill, listening to music and trying not to think about the fact that you're going to be photographing him while he's working out. He feels somewhat dumb, being so incredibly invested in your opinions of him already, but like yesterday proved, there was something about you that drew him in.

He speeds up the treadmill, his calves burning and his breathing quickening while he runs. It's incredible, the feeling of absolute bliss he feels after a run. When his muscles ache and his chest feels clear, he feels most at peace. Though, peace isn't difficult to come across these days. Even with the sadness of not being able to perform live like he wants to, it's not as looming as it was before. It's incredibly exhilarating to wake up not feeling like the end is near. It happened so suddenly, he's not sure what changed.

At the beginning, when they had to cancel the tour and stay in Korea, Jungkook felt as though life was never going to be the same. It was dark for everyone. He remembers Jimin crying in the bathroom after the cancellation, which caused Jungkook to start crying as well. He scrolled through social media for hours, reading the anger and frustration at those who had to return their tickets. It pained him, to see such a bleak view of the fans he adored.

Now that it's been close to 2 years, Jungkook has learned to-- for lack of a better term-- live with it. He wakes up every day and tries his hardest to live, and that's all you can do when your passion in life is ripped away from you due to an ongoing worldwide pandemic.

The gym doors slide open and Jungkook looks in the mirror to see you.

You have a camera around your neck, Jungkook recognizes it as a Canon. You close the door behind you and stop him as Jungkook starts to slow down the treadmill.

"Pretend like I'm not even here." you nearly whisper, and Jungkook has to stop himself from choking on his spit. Your voice sounded almost sultry. He can't tell if that was his imagination or if it was intentional on your part.

Jungkook shakes his head, turning up the speed just a little bit more.

He hears the shutter on your camera clicking, the action setting in full effect as he runs. You move around him, being sure not to get yourself in the mirror of the shots. The only noises in the room are his breathing and the sounds of his feet hitting the runway. It's rough, his chest heaving the more he pushes himself, but he's more interested in the way you seem to float around the room, or the fact that your hands seem dwarfed by the large camera.

It makes him wonder what your hands would look like on him.

A necklace dangles from your neck, it's gold and shines under the lights of the gym. It falls gently into the crevice of your chest, what looks like a golden moon on the end of the chain.

Again, he wonders what your skin would feel like against his.

"You gotta stop looking at the camera." you giggle.

He didn't even realize his eyes were following you. Suddenly, it's like a wave of confidence washes over him. Confidence that he was not ready for.

He swallows, taking a deep breath, "I'm not looking at the camera." Why is he saying this?

"Yes you are," you grin, "I have like 7 pictures in a row of you looking directly at the camera."

"No," he shakes his head, "I'm looking at the person holding the camera." Shut up, Jungkook. Stop talking!

"Oh?" you laugh, "what's catching your eye?"

"The necklace." what the fuck? He basically admitted to staring at your tits!

"The necklace that's right in between my tits?"

He laughs, you snap a picture.

"I guess so, I'm sorry." The usual nervousness that he would feel at an admission like that is non-existent. He feels comfortable enough to talk to you like this, and judging by the way you smile, you're comfortable with it too.

"No need to be sorry," you snap another picture, "I know they draw attention."

Jungkook nods, "They certainly do."

"What do you like about them?"

The question throws Jungkook for a loop but he doesn't let that show.

"They're perky," he explains, stopping the treadmill, "and your shirts show off the perfect amount to leave some to the imagination."

"Ah, so you're imagining my tits?"

"Yes."

You smirk, walking away. For a moment, Jungkook is scared he said too much, but it's very quickly washed away by the sound of the lock turning. "So," you begin, "you're saying that if I took off my shirt, you wouldn't be opposed to looking at me?"

Jungkook shakes his head, "I also wouldn't be opposed to touching you."

"Well," you slip off your shirt, "I'm ready."

Jungkook feels his cock twitch in his gym shorts at the sight of your bra. Of your fucking bra.

Despite the blood rushing to his cock, he shakes his head, "Oh come on, darling. You know that's not enough for me."

"Your shirt first, buddy." your eyes follow Jungkook as he grips the hem of his shirt and pulls it off. Now that there's verbal consent, your eyes roam all over his torso. He's ripped, Jungkook knows this, but under your gaze he feels like a meal. Like he's about to get devoured by you, and he can't say he's not enjoying the idea.

You reach behind you, unhooking your bra and allowing it to fall to the ground.

Jungkook's eyes widen at sight, stepping closer to you and falling to his knees. He places his nose against your torso, inhaling your scent. The sensuality of the small gasp that left your mouth fueled Jungkook. He grabs your hands and pulls you down to his level, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips.

It's rough and heated, all teeth and tongue. He's not used to being this way, to feeling almost primal in his movements. He gnaws at your bottom lip, eliciting another moan from you. It's high pitched and nearly whiny, proving that you're suddenly filled with as much need as he is.

"I'm gonna fuck you," Jungkook states, "right here. Right now."

"Please." you toss your head back, falling onto the padded floors of the gym. Jungkook follows suit, kissing his way down your body until he reaches your navel. Again, he presses his nose into you and inhales, you smell so damn good.

He keeps smelling, inhaling your scent as he undoes the buttons of your jeans. The less clothing there, the stronger your scent becomes. He feels insatiable, nearly ripping off your panties to get to your center.

"Fuck, you're so wet already," Jungkook groans, his voice deep with want, with need. Taking a single finger up your slit, he draws it back and sucks your juices clean, "and you taste as good as you smell."

You stare up at him with hooded eyes, holding yourself up on your elbows and spreading your legs as wide as you can. "Now that you've had a taste you might as well finish it."

Jungkook doesn't need to be told twice, diving into your soaked folds with his tongue. He moves fast but also meticulously, being sure to take note of all the places that make you moan a little louder, sink a little deeper into him. Your hand reaches down and snakes its way through his hair, tugging at the roots.

At that point, Jungkook begins to kick off his shorts without pulling away.

"Fuck, I've always wanted to fuck you," you moan in between words, "you always look so good everywhere you go."

"Yeah?" Jungkook chuckles, "did you imagine fucking me before you got hired here?"

You nod, "I couldn't help it, I knew you'd be good."

As Jungkook manages to get his shorts off, he grips ahold of his aching member. Pulling up to his knees, his thumb doesn't stop rubbing harsh circles against your clit.

"That's hot," Jungkook breathes, "I've been wanting to take you since I first saw you."

"Then do it." you demand, and a flip switches in Jungkook's brain.

He pulls his fingers away from you and leans forward, "Taste yourself."

You don't hesitate to take his fingers into your mouth, Jungkook feeling your tongue dance across the pads of his fingers. Feeling himself twitch, he strokes himself for a little bit of relief while you suck.

"Taste good?" He questions.

"Delicious."

"Good girl." He murmurs, leaning down and connecting your lips with his again. As he does so, he runs the head of his cock against your slit, enjoying the gasp you let out every time he brushes against your clit. You feel so warm, so inviting. He can taste you so well, he wants nothing more than to dive in.

So he does.

Pressing into you slowly, he feels your warmth envelope him. Your legs wrap around his hips and guide him in all the way. When he slips all the way in, you both pull away for a moan.

"So fucking good. So tight." He moves his hips achingly slow, enjoying the noises of content leaving your lips. Your moans spur him on as your tightness engulfs him yet again. He leans down and presses a kiss to your neck, your hot skin nearly burning his lips, "I don't want to hurt you."

You shake your head, "You can't hurt me. I promise."

Jungkook isn't sure what takes over him at this point, but he feels his lips begin to thrust harshly into you. He doesn't process the rest of the world, the only thing that's certain is you. You're everything that he needs to focus on now, your whines, your moans, the feeling of your legs guiding him in and out of you. He wants to take you here over and over again until the end of time, and he's never felt that about anyone before in his life.

Your lips are beginning to bruise from the rough kisses he's been laying on you, so he takes a gentle approach and sucks on your jawline. Every few thrusts, he rests his forehead against yours. Then he moves again. Then rests.

"Tell me how good I feel." you whisper against his lips, breathy.

"Baby," Jungkook's brows knit together in pleasure, "you feel so good around me. So warm. I want to cum in you and fill you up so bad. Do-n't stop squeezing- fuck."

Jungkook abandons the pace he tried to keep and slams into you, pulling you on top of him and lifting you up and down on his cock. You let out a scream as he reaches a point he hasn't touched before, your cunt tightening exponentially around him.

He latches his mouth onto your nipples, the sensitive peaks hardening against his tongue. Your nails rake down his chest while you grind against him, your ass smacking against his thighs while he begins thrusting upward.

His hands grip your hips harshly, sure enough to leave bruises by his fingertips. He feels his orgasm approaching quickly, but he needs you to cum first. He need to feel you cum around him. "Fuck," he growls through clenched teeth, "cum. I need you to cum. Cum around me, please please please!"

"I'm gonna- I'm-" your sentence is cut off by your orgasm taking over, clenching deliciously around Jungkook and pushing him over the edge. His hips stutter and he releases into you, your warmth mixing with his as he collapses onto the ground. You're both silent for a while, your chests heaving as you try to calm down. Jungkook leans up, keeping you in a hug as your knees move to either side of his hips. Neither of you make a move to pull apart, Jungkook softening inside of you but the sensitivity feels so good.

He rests his chin on your shoulder, glancing behind you and towards the mirrors. On the inner edge of each of your shoulder blades, lay two large scars. They're old, pink in color now. Jungkook reaches a finger up to trace the scars but is stopped by a knock on the door.

"Hey, I'm ready when you are _____!" Jimin's voice sounds through the gym, muffled by the door.

"Shit." You whisper, "shit, shit, shit!"

You quickly pull off of him, beginning to slip your panties and bra back on.

Jungkook flinches at the sudden loss of warmth around him, looking down at his cock and seeing a mixture of his and your cum coating his thighs. "Don't you need to clean up?" he whispers.

"I'll stop by the bathroom on the way." you murmur, now fully dressed, "thank you for that, by the way." you wink, grabbing the back of his neck and pressing a hard kiss against him. Then, you're out the door.

Jungkook is left naked on the floor, confused, and wanting to ask why exactly you have asymmetrical scars on your back.

[ren-c-leyn]

I'd like to hear about your characters! 1) Power by Isak Danielson 2) Small Things by Ben Howard 3)The Village by Vrabel 4)Pinting Greys by Emmit Fenn 5) Fool Like You by Kovacz

Hello! :D You're in luck because I love to talk about my characters ^^

Power -

This one reminds me a lot of Valerian and Thistle's dynamic in The Firewalker, even though they're not romantically involved and no seducing is ever in the mix.

Valerian is fascinated by Thistle and her ability to handle people and the number of skills she has to worm her way out of difficult situations, while she's in aw of his raw power and is kind of jealous of his link to the old Gods. They're both what the other one was looking for, outcasts with skills and abilities that the other lacks, and someone who can spark that desire to live and not just survive again. They kindle hopes and dreams that the other thought was dead, but they both have their own motivations and agendas for working together and their friendship has honestly gotten them both into a great deal more trouble than what either of them could have caused on their own.

Small Things -

Something about this song reminds me of Jalen from The Plight of a Sparrow. The poor boy is plagued by dozens upon dozens of problems, none of which he asked for and most of which aren't even really in his control. I think it gets to him sometimes, though he tries not to think about it. I think the hardest part for him is that he can't go back to talk with the people he should have been able to rely on. His mentors and family are far away, even if he wanted talk with them, and he has to try and stay strong and take care of Sparrow. He also doesn't feel like any of it is a big enough deal to complain to his friends about. (He needs hugs and lots of them </3)

The Village - Did you mean The Village by Wrabel? If so, then I don't really have any characters that fit it since I don't have any that are outcasted for their sexuality.

Painting Greys -

None of my characters really came to mind for this one.

Fool Like You -

In a loose interpretation, it reminds me of Raina and her dynamics with two characters that show up later in The Plight of a Sparrow. Mist, whom bitterly hates her, and another character that hasn't appeared yet.

I can't really think of how to explain it without major spoilers, but I will say that Raina made grave mistakes, Mist made grave mistakes, everyone in that story has made terrible mistakes that they are all handling in different ways and several of them think the others are idiots for handling it the way they did.

Thanks for stopping by~! :D I hope you have a lovely day/evening.

[nekomasmanager]

Azumane Asahi × Reader

Am I going to post my one shots here too? Yes, yes I will. This is a collection of one shots I'm currently writing over on ao3 (if you want to you can check it out there! This is the first chapter). This collection features a female reader that is actually part of the Girls Volleyball Club at the boy in the pairing's High School (that way it makes more sense and it's easier for me to write!), and her multiple encounters with the different Haikyuu!! boys. I hope you like it and don't find it too cringey╰(*°▽°*)╯

So first off it's going to be my Asahi one shot! Hope you like it!

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Pairing: Azumane Asahi & Reader Word Count: 2275 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Original Post Date on ao3: 24/02/2021

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You lost. You didn't make it past the first preliminary round. You're going home empty handed. It was all your fault. You didn't think you could reach a lower point in your volleyball career, but you just did.

He would be so disappointed in you. After everything he did, this is how you're repaying him for the hours of training you did together. He would be disappointed.

Your team was huddled up outside the gym, crestfallen expressions on your faces. One teammate was even crying thinking it was her fault this happened. She doesn't know that it was all yours. Captain reassures her that it's not, you did whatever you could to try to win, even if you didn't, she was proud of your team. After saying all that, she was called over by your sensei. You noticed some were admiring her strength, but you quickly noticed that she's just strong in front of you. She's just waiting for the moment she's alone, away from your prying eyes, to finally let down all her tears. She shouldn't cry. It wasn't her fault, she tried her best to get you to practice. You were at fault for not telling my teammates to come to practice, for not encouraging them more, for not pushing them more, because, well, it was your job to do so, being vice-captain and all.

You felt terrible. Your mind couldn't focus on anything else but the failure you just witness because of your lack of leadership skills, your lack of volleyball skills. You just had to practice something. You excused yourself, telling your teammates that you're going to look for an empty gym to practice your serves. They looked at you with pity in their eyes, knowing they couldn't stop you, even though they know you're going to exert yourself to the point of exhaustion. You always held the weight of failure on your shoulder, blaming yourself over and over. Being a third year, those tournaments are going to be the last ones you'll be able to compete in while still being on your school's team.

When you finally find an empty gym, you find a few wayward balls. You begin by collecting them in the bin, thinking that maybe this is the space for a team's practice time. After gathering them next to you, you pick up one ball, and try to jump serve it. It gets to the other side, but the power behind that serve is still weak.

You need to get better. You pick up a second one, and start imagine it as one of your failures that you want to get far away from. When you hit it, it had more force behind it. That's it, you thought. That's how you should do it. You keep doing that, thinking of all the terrible things you need to get away from, of the disappointment you issued with your playing, of all the things you could do better, you could've done better if you were a bit more authoritative.

You did not notice tears flowing down your face, until you saw them splashing on the ball between your hands. Not being able to stay up, you crash down on your knees, volleyball forgotten, and start sobbing silently into your hands. You began muttering: "he must be really disappointed in me. I'm such a failure. He'll no longer be my friend. I ruined everything for my team."

You heard some steps outside the gym door, but you don't care who saw you like that, the tears wouldn't stop anyways. The steps are now faster and louder. You hear a bag hitting the floor, and someone running to you. You thought it was one of your teammates checking up on you. "Y/N?" That's a male voice. Looking up, you see Asahi-San with a worried look on his face. Not being able to stop your tears, a sob finally escapes your lips when you see him, and that's all it took him to go down on his knees and hug you.

Before you wrap up your arms around him, you mutter under your breath "I don't deserve such kindness. I'm a failure. I shouldn't be part of this team. They're better off without me." Not wanting to hear you belittling yourself, Azumane holds you at arm's length, and looks at you dead in the eye, "what are saying about yourself? Did someone tell you all this?" You shake your head not wanting to speak. "I heard you before saying 'he'll be disappointed in me', were you referring to me?" You gently nod, looking down at your fingers, fidgeting and averting his kind brown eyes.

He gently grabs your chin, making you look at him, "I will never be disappointed in you, Y/N. Why would you think that of me?" "Because you wasted so much time on training me, and it was useless. I couldn't do anything to help my team win. I could barely keep the ball in the air. How could I be a good teammate when I'm such a burden to others, not letting them work well?" Your eyes were starting to well up with tears again. Azumane let go of your chin, and you buried yourself in his chest, clinging to his jacket.

He engulfed you in his arms, stroking your back and your hair, whispering softly in your ear, "none of the time I spent training with you was a waste. You're a formidable player, and I wouldn't ask someone else to train with me. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself, I'll always be by your side whether it's through victory or failure. I'm always going to be on your team." With those last words, you couldn't help the sobs that racked your chest and escaped your mouth.

You were shaking, but Asahi-San never let go of you. He smoothed your hair, and stroked your back, humming a song to calm you down. When you felt yourself calming down, no longer sobbing, just sniffling, you look up to Azumane, "do you have some tissues please?" "Yeah sure let me check in my bag for a second." He brings his discarded bag next to you, and shuffles through it, until he finds a packet of tissues that he hands to you. You nod your head while accepting the packet, blowing your nose softly and trying to wipe your eyes.

Your finger are pried away from your face and replaced with bigger warmer hands that wipe your tears gently. You noticed you were quite forceful when wiping your tears. You were so grateful for Azumane, that you closed your eyes and just relaxed under his touch, trying to calm your breaths. A few tears still escape your closed eyes, the movement on your face stopped, and you open your eyes. You noticed Azumane's face got closer to yours, but before anything happens you had to ask one question.

"Why are you always so nice to me? I don't deserve it. I'm just me. Plain old Y/N. But you're perfect. You're an amazing athlete, one I can only aspire to be like. You have such a gentle and kind soul. Even if you get nervous or scared of something, with a few encouraging words, you're back to your confident self. Meanwhile I'm here, crying and sobbing cause I'm the reason my entire team failed, I'm supposed to bring them together with my captain, but I couldn't even do that. You don't even deserve me liking you, you deserve someone who's better than me to like you. Someone who can complete you in the best ways possible. Someone who's not me. So why do always stay by my side even when I wouldn't want to be by my own side?"

You started crying again, letting out all of your feelings for Azumane accidentally because of your frustration. Silent tears were rolling down your face, you're looking down at your fingers clutching the tissue packet, not daring to look him in the eyes. "Y/N?" "What?" "Look at me." You gingerly lift your head up, scared of meeting his eyes. But what you face wasn't what you expected.

Azumane's face was a mix of shock and warmth and something you couldn't quite read. He wanted to say something, but was struggling to do so. He ended up engulfing you with one of the biggest hugs you ever received, the kind of hug that puts everything back in its place, the kind of hug you never want it to end. He whispered so low you were afraid you wouldn't be able to hear him, "I like you too Y/N."

You couldn't believe what you just heard. Shocked, you raise your head, tears still prominent on your face, and you're met with the most handsome, warm face you've ever seen in your life. "Why are tearing up Azumane? I'm the one who should be crying!" "I just couldn't handle seeing you this sad and distraught over something that wasn't your fault. I couldn't handle seeing the girl I love belittling herself." While saying that, you noticed that both his hands are on your cheeks, and getting closer with every word he said.

Your breath hitched, but at the same time, you wanted him closer. You stand up on your knees, facing him head on. That's the only sign he needed before closing the gap between the two of you. You never would've thought that you would be kissing Azumane Asahi, but there you are, in his arms, in the arms of the man who loves you. You couldn't have asked for a better way to make you feel better. As you disentangle yourself from him to catch your breath, you notice him being flushed and you couldn't help but rest your hand on his warm cheek. He nuzzles his head into your hand and kisses the inside of it. You melt right there and then.

"Do you really love me? Or did you mean it as friends?" you ask shyly, feeling stupid as the question left your lips. "Well I wouldn't have kissed you if I only loved you as a friend" he says gently as he tucked a loose strand of your hair. You blush and try to cover your warming cheeks, but he catches your hands before you do so. "Can I ask you something Asahi?" "Anything for you Y/N." "Oh stop it." you lightly hit him on his shoulder. "How did you know where to find me? I remember only telling my teammates."

"Oh well you see. Sometime during our second match, your team came to cheer us on. But I didn't notice them until the end. I was looking for you between your teammates, and I guess your captain knew who I was looking for, and told me where to find you, with the notice that you may or may not be blaming the loss of the game on yourself." You shyly look down at your intertwined hands. "So as soon as I could, I came looking for you, worried that you might be exerting yourself, practicing as you usually do when you blame yourself. And when I heard tiny sniffles, a volleyball hitting the floor, and a bunch of mumbled words, I came faster, and I saw you broken down on the floor, silently crying and sobbing into your arms. My heart was wrenching when I saw you. I could only just come and hug you, trying to make you feel better. And well I guess I achieved that." He says cheekily while booping your nose with his finger but never letting go of your hand.

With still warm cheeks, you look at him, wondering one thing. "Wait you said you finished playing your second match. It means you played against..." "Date Tech High, yeah.." "Oh my God. Are you okay? How did it go? Please don't tell me you're going to stop playing volleyball again? I couldn't handle it. I barely managed to hit a ball when you took your break. I felt like a complete failure when you wouldn't show up to our practice meetings. Thinking it was my fault you didn't want to continue on. Please don't tell me you're quitting again!" "Y/N.. breathe" he says, reassuringly squeezing your hands. "I'm not going to stop playing volleyball anytime soon. And just so you know... we won."

Your face literally lights up, and you couldn't contain your happiness. You jump up and down, overly excited for him and his team. You jump into his arms, and he immediately catches you and spin you both around, laughing with glee. You couldn't believe it. They defeated the Iron Wall of Data Tech. Azumane isn't leaving volleyball behind. He finally conquered his fear. When he sets you down, he leaves his hand around your waist, enjoying your expression full of pride and happiness, for him.

You still couldn't believe it. "Asahi! You did it! I'm so proud of you! I knew you could do it! My strong Ace!" "My strong Ace you say?" "I.. umm.. is it okay if I call you that?" you ask, biting your lip cause you're embarrassed you made that slip up. "Of course you can... my little spiker" You blush so profusely, that your entire face and ears are as red as a tomato. You lightly hit his bicep, hiding your face in his chest. He laughs so wholeheartedly while engulfing you with his arms. He kisses the top of your head and whispers: "God I love her so much" With a wide smile hidden from his eyes, you whisper back, "I love you too Asahi"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Well here you have it, that was my very first attempt at a fanfic chapter! I have two more fully ready, a new one shot in the works, and an entire new fanfic idea that is linked to my blog name. I hope you'll stick around until then!