#even the jokes that arent mean spirited are just. not good.

[linddzz]

If you gave me just the pitch of an adult cartoon reboot of the Scooby gang, with Velma as the main protagonist, with hints of Velma/Daphne, with those character designs standing in a line I would be SO hype. On paper that is my entire shit. And yet. And YET...

[ganondoodle]

since i have seen this argument pop up again and again and now its used to defend the minecraft movie

i really hate the argument that something, be it a movie or a game, can be as shitty as it wants when its primarily aimed at kids (or people THINK it is aimed mostly at kids) bc its 'just for kids'

like children are lesser an stupid? like they arent incredibly impressionable and deserve good movies? im not saying they should only watch critical acclaimed drama movies, but you can make a movie 'for kids' AND make it good, its been done before, sure there will always be shit movies, and thats fine, but dismissing any kind of criticism towards them bc "its just for kids" feels so unecessarily mean spirited towards children, like they are little people in wildly different stages of development!! they can think too!!

'kids' itself is such a wide range that i feel its not very useful as a category anyway, a 5 year old isnt the same as an 11 year old, both of them should get good things, and both can watch or play things they may not completely understand yet! i grew up with shrek, and while a big parody and haha fart humor movie, they (1+2) have an incredibly strong core, i didnt udnerstand them fully when i was little, so what? i still enjoyed them, i felt more connected to them than any disney movie (bc hey .. the monster is the main guy and no they dont all turn into conventionally pretty humans as the ultimate reward- i felt othered throughout my life too) and i still do, theres jokes and themes and meaning i understood fully only when i was rewatching them as an adult, i still enjoy them even at 27

and like, shouldnt it ESPECIALLY matter what children watch? (not in the puritan brain worm way) bc they are ... people in development?? do you think if they just sit down and watch shitty movies and play games that dont challenge them at all, be it thinking critically or emotionally, all day it wont have an affect on them??

(im sorry to bring up totk again, but that 'its for kids' argument has been used to defend it so much too, and its so incredibly annoying to me, ah yes, its puzzles are all skippable or easy as shit bc its main target are kids and children are stupid and shouldnt be challenged ever, the story is a simple fairytale type deal maybe to you, but contains alot of harmful stereotypes that have led to real world harm and its repeated unquestionably while offering nothing intersting to think or engage with, theres a reason alot of childrens media contains alot of stereotypes to propaganda even but its just for kids of course its not propaganda bc kids are stupid and cant understand that lol BECAUSE they are so impressionable, if a series 'for kids' only lets the girls be in frilly pink dresses and do 'girly' stuff do you not think that wil affect how they think about themselves??

if they keep seeing the light skinned blonde heroe stab the unquestioned evil arab stereotype bc he wants to take over your holy land bc hes just 'evil' and is never ever humanized in any way and only presented as a monster, while the good little maiden princess does everything she can to support her hero in shiny armor with big sad doe eyes and pretty little white dress- do you not think it will affect them? if it were an isolated incidence perhaps not much, but its a stereotype perpetuated to such a degree that you think its just 'how fairytales go'? yeah, you have been influenced by these portrayals, they are working as intented- and if they are used as such in media without the writer intending to influence you that way? thats even worse bc it means it has been so normalized to think that way people dont even realize it- while alot of real people in the world are ganondorf, they are demonized and dehumanized, others think of them as inherently evil.. but its just a "simple fairytale"

yes i know children can also question things on their own, but you shouldnt assume that comes naturally and then also in just the correct way, i questioned why i was just doing whatever the talking boat told me to do when i first played windwaker as a kid, but more bc i liked how ganondorf looked and hated being told things to do without a good reason being given (autism much?), 'evil' didnt do it for me, but that doesnt mean i knew he was an evil arab stereotype, i didnt like tetra turning white as zelda, bc i thought she looked cooler before and i didnt like 'girly' things myself, not bc i knew it was whitewashing

-not saying media should be free of anything 'problematic', the problem is how its presented and never questioned or engaged with critically and then that stupid argument being used to dismiss it like children are both unable to think and not influencable somehow-)

[fashion-foxy]

Ok, Descendants fans, genuine question: Arent a majority of cast useless and could just be Ben and Harry with little to no change in the story? (I'm using them because that scene with Ben kidnapped on the boat and Harry fucking with him was peak dynamic. ) Like :

Mal : Leader of original VK group, sarcastic, and insecure,and acts as Isle figurehead; being the 'bad' and more negative to Ben's more positive and 'good'. Ben is ~16, and his parents are very closed-minded and see in blank and white. Ben being that young and having no one around him who shares his view of the world would (in my opinion make him relatively insecure). I don't think I really have to explain Harry fitting sarcastic. Harry could just as easily fit into being a figurehead to the Isle. I think he embodies the Isle a bit more because he has a much more free spirited personality and demonstrates a lot more how being on the Isle is "every man for himself"

Evie : Optimistic, friendly, smart business minded. Ben is, tying back in with the last statement, a very positive person. He will always see the good the good in everyone and everything and because of this he's a very friendly guy. The 'smart business mind' can totally also factor into running a kingdom. Considering every possibility and factoring what that would mean for you and your people.

Jay : Charming, Kleptomanic tendencies (it's a personality trait in the sims 4, I genuinely couldn't think of anything that wasn't already covered by 'charming') Harry has a scene where he flirts with 4 women in ~1 minute. He also has 'was in a situationship that ended horribly, and neither of them want to admit it ended or even happened' energy with everyone. He is like the definition of charming. I don't have to really explain Kleptomanic tendencies, but I think it also builds the 'knows what it takes to survive on the Isle' that I think would bring a lot more to the table than when Mal said that they should close the barrier for good and BEN (someone who has no reason to care about the Isle and only does because he genuinely wants to do the best thing for the people) was the one who advocates for the Isle. Harry would never turn his back on the Isle like that.

Carlos : quick-witted, and awkward has this played for laughs a couple times(I may be misinterpreting the situation because Dude being comic relief is not funny at all to me but I assume most things he says are supposed to be humorous) (Sidenote : Rest in peace Cameron Boyce.) This one isn't even really specific to Harry because basically all of the VK's and quick-witted and very good at thinking on their feet. (Growing up on the Isle will do that to a motherfucker) but I think Harry is probably the best at it. I mean, just take the exchange where he says that there's 20 minutes left to noon, and Ben corrects him. He doesn't get hostile he takes the situation and makes it into a joke and like it's part of him messing with Ben. Obviously the awkwardness is something that Ben possesses. The man is the human embodiment of a hurt puppy. If he's trying to be nice and friendly with someone and they are rude or ignore him, he just freezes. He's got nowhere to take the conversation, so he awkwardly laughs and walks away.

Uma : Pirate gang leader. I think that she and Mal have very similar personalities, and a lot of these points are going to be building on my talking points with Mal but I will bring up that Uma is a lot more stubborn and vengeful than Mal is/was. Harry and Ben aren't exactly that stubborn. What I would say is that if anything, Harry is more self-assured, and Ben just has very strong views of the world that he won't compromise on.

Gil : The most friendly dude, caring, little dumb sometimes, but he means well. Gil literally is just the Isle equivalent to Ben, in my opinion. Like they just share most of their traits.

So, how grossly did I oversimplify them? Are there more strong character moments in the book? What am I missing here?

[voiceofsword]

sry to bitch in your inbox abt this but im so glad you pointed out how so many modern enstarries Dont read the stories and base everything off fandom perception.. i saw these users joking about which character would say slurs and someone was ADAMANT rinne would and tho i knew it before it Really struck me then

a) none of them have ever engaged with this text in any meaningful way, ESPECIALLY not the first games' stories, because surprise! characters in es! did Canonically use slurs! and back then Nobody Liked It. we didnt joke about it. most people i know completely stopped paying attention to the characters who did until they apologized. (tho ofc its more a problem w the writing than the characters, but still. we were young. we had the spirit.)

b) people really like using rinne as a punching bag because they dont read the stories and know literally nothing about him except funny drunk drugs gamble man "fuckboy" who harasses niki and the other bees and its. infuriating.

i dont understand how anyone can claim to like a media without ever properly engaging with it, i dont understand how people have fun misunderstanding characters so drastically, and i also think joking about slurs has gotten wayyy too normalized where people feel comfortable saying these things about these characters they allegedly like. and characters like rinne (with a constructed mask of obnoxiousness and such) are the perfect target for these people. which SUCKS. all of it sucks.

NEVER BE SORRY!!!! i hope this is alright to post i thought your ask was good and insightful and i'll add onto it a little bit with my own thoughts (heart emoji)

yeah um ! was definitely a ride. i wouldnt recommend it to everyone but at least we have hindsight and things like slurs and general offensive terms/behaviors can be warned for, so that much is nice. i remember being really upset about a few of these, and then getting back into enstars earlier this year and reading a few of the more current stories + !! stories i was happy to see that the writing has developed CONSIDERABLY in terms of this especially after beasts. something ive noticed a lot of newer fans do (referencing my previous post irt the feeling morally superior) is that if you like a specific character for whatever reason youre actually a horrible person because that character said something awful once. of course youre allowed to dislike characters for whatever reason but dont tell other people they should perish because they like them (as if liking them means you implicitly agree with said views, more often than not One line in a miriad of stories that you might not even have read). but like you said, characters making ignorant comments (an unfortunate occurrence, although rare, it still happens) is not a reflection of 2d pixels on a screen but rather a team of writers..... idk. its a complicated situation. i see both sides and i think people are justified in liking or disliking but this is a game about idol boys (and girl) got dam

yeah i hate how people treat rinne a lot. like because characters like him and eichi are villains that means everything that they do or say is, at worst, a straight, physical threat to everyone around them, or at best, an annoyance that can make the fandom feel justified in making them the butt of reoccurring jokes. idk what else to say about him that i havent said already but its also 3 am now and i SAID i was gonna go to sleep an hour ago but i think i might just be a filthy liar

ALSO its probably because enstars is long, there's a lot to read and although tl's arent necessarily hard to come by you actively have to seek them out. again i understand how this might be a nuisance but instead of sitting down and listening to summaries or analysis ive noticed that a lot of short form consumption content lends itself to people just. posting the most reactive interpretations, and people playing a game of telephone with said information until a lot of the fandom has come to accept this misinformation as true. LIKE SOMEONE ON TIKTOK SAYING HAJIME AND WATARU WERE RELATED? IDEK IF THAT WAS A JOKE OR NOT? and yeah the use of slurs is like ridiculously normalized now im not one to say whether people can or cannot reclaim slurs and people are free to do as they like if they can. i see this one thing specifically with tatsumi a lot where people jokingly bring up how said character is homophobic or make homophobic comments towards characters even if theyre being like. excited or happy. and idk. personally it makes me sad. like maybe its fandom culture now maybe im old (is 23)

WHY WOULD RINNE SAY SLURS HES LITERALLY GAY AND IN LOVE....COME AWN NOW

[winxbutbetterimo-ovo]

Riven long ver 1

(some stuff is from the fan wiki i just tweaked)

Name: Riven Liam Arthur

Looks: Aesthetics only gym bro (so he strong but not stronger than Helia for example) . His skin is rosy with a slight tan, and his eyes are narrow and indigo-colored. He has short red-violet hair that is spiked back with only two bangs framing his face.

Relationships: Soulmate is Musa (after a shit ton of work to deserve her ofc) he is the closest to Nabu, has a rivalry with Sky

Personality: He is very insecure on the inside coz he thinks he needs to be better than everyone or else he is nothing. he is also thin-skinned and sensitive to what people thought about him. As a result, he is easily affected when people laughs at or humiliates him. Riven's insecurities caused him to doubt the authenticity of those around him and question who his true friends were.

But on the outside, Egotistic. Riven is the impulsive, competitive, realistic and goal-oriented member of the Specialists. He can be rather hot-headed, experiencing moments of envy and blind aggression; but he is also protective and caring (mostly towards musa or his parents but only when they arent looking). This compassion is not solely limited to his love interests, as he was extremely unwilling to leave Griffin and her students behind while they were imprisoned in their school's dungeon during the Trix's ongoing invasion. Riven has trouble expressing his emotions in a suitable manner, even when he is not putting up a cold front. He is a bit of a lone wolf. arrogant and mean-spirited, which often puts him at odds with everyone.

Despite his initially unfriendly attitude, Riven is shown to have a conscience early on, though it is often overshadowed by his many shortcomings. He can also be reflective when not blinded by his anger. Riven expresses that there are many things he dislikes about himself, but denies the notion that he is a monster, claiming that even he "has a heart". He goes on to prove this statement through his gradual development as a character. Riven displays an even more vulnerable side when he went off to mourn and cry for Nabu when he died.

As time goes on, he still struggles to express his emotions, he is noticeably friendlier and more cooperative. he becomes more compassionate and relaxed, no longer taking his friends' jokes too seriously (even making some himself). He smiles a lot more and doesn’t mind engaging in some goofy behavior. In spite of this, Riven remains a straightforward and blunt person. He is very realistic and vocal. he listens to Timmy when he says he can still sense Tecna's magical vibe (indicating she is alive) and quietly comforts him.

History: his family are all uber successful and he is praised for his intensity at home coz he and his brothers r all rlly competitive. He was pretty privileged as a child so he never knew any hard times, and thus he sees “struggling” as a weakness that people need to overpower. His parents spoiled him for sure. After season 3 Musa breaks up with him after the events of the movie since he was so easily used as a spy again. He acts like it doesn't bother him and dates around but he actually really misses her. In season 4 they get back together in the middle after Riven proves that he has changed/is trying to change for the better.

Weapon: a scimitar-styled purple phantoblade and a bolas, sometimes he also uses a dagger boomerang. He is also very good at dragon wrangling and is a very skilled thief and lock picker. all his wepons are purple in colour, like the gem on his uniform

[wanou-dorm]

Fan Class? : Combat Magic Class/ Bullet Hell Class

@twstinginthewind @twst-the-night-away @fumikomiyasaki

@hey-its-cweepy

Combat Magic Classes In NRC and RSA Focus on a Style of Combat only found in Onigashima , Established as a why to work out problems among people to even the Playing field between the Weak and Strong. Bullet

The “Bullet” are made of Magical Engery and Cause only a Little Blot to be Formed , Many parents were still Scared due how Many Bullets Were outputs . But we’re Reassured after. Seeing how little Blot accumulated mainly Cause Bullet generally arent made to Kill or Destroy intentionally but thier are a few instances of People aiming to kill using Danmaku which can cause Overblot . There Many Types of Bullet but here’s the Catergories

Ofuda- This are Just Amulet type Bullets good for Dealing with a Evil spirits, sometimes Takes the Form of things like Christian Crosses also they often Home in on you

Normal- Your Normal Round Circle or Rice shaped bullet also Stuff like Arrows and Bullet shaped Bullets

Energy- Bullets that use Shapes like Hearts, Stars this can also include stuff like Light

Elemental - stuff like Fire , Sound and Lighting based Bullets

Body- Using Meaning The user Is Using themselves as Part of a Bullet formation wether it but Punch , kicking or Headbutting . This can Also be Parts of ones body like hair, Feathers , Scales, Pixie dust

Liquid- Bullet that are made of Liquid of some sort, Water, ink , Maple syrup

Laser- Self Explanatory , but Curvy Lasers are no Joke

Sharp- These are Bullets that that meant to Pierce Through Defenses

Heavy- Generally Bullet that made To Cause Damage usally involves stuff like Rock and steel. Shu is Kinda an Exception as His Unique Magic involves Density and Size .

Missile- these are the Bullet you need to Watch for, as the often disperse into Small bullets if the miss and Hitt something or The Caster Triggers it

Slash- These are meant to be Done with a Claw or Bladed weapons

Spellcard

The More Powerful and risky of Onigashima’s Combat Magic is called a Spell Card. , Which can Accumulate Blots. As they are Powerful . A Spell card is a trance induced by saying the Name of the Spell of The Spell card it’s traps the Opponent a Barrage bullets for the the Spells Duration it also makes them Immune from most damage and increases thier Offensive and Defenseive Capabilities .

The Catch is that they can only use the Spell specificed on the Card during the Trance. All Spell card are Different for different users. Some user will become invincible to all Damage before the spell cards fully Activated, Some It Leaves them wide open , Some can Effect the Opponent , Some can even Use Magical Tools or Unique Magic.

But If Your Caught in Spell card , the. Best option you have is Defensive Magic and Dodging

here’s link to Basic Spell card rules ( ingore the thing about Yokai needing to Fight it’s a Myth )

[woomycritiques543]

Charlie is a Hellborn demon. She's not white. She's not a human.

Do you even know what "coding" means anon?

It means "applying racial traits and or sterotypes to a non human character." Are you people just trying to gaslight at this point?

She's white coded asf, the people that are shown as the "worst" in the series are poc coded asf or are darker skinned. Those are some weird asf implications. Considering that her appearance is inspired by a white, European doll (which still makes this the "white" savior trope if the main character is implied to be based off of the appearance of a white person. She's also a person in power. So having a white coded rich character + poc coded characters being shown as "more evil" = huge disaster.) most of the poc characters are greywashed despite the show clearly being ok with giving demons human looking skin colors, yet Charlie is shown to be the "heroine" of the story while the "sinners" she has to "save" are (almost) all confirmed to be poc.

They're showing demon with the physical traits of a white person to be the "savior" of demons with the physical traits of a poc. While showing the poc coded ones as "c^nnibalistic savages" and the rich, white coded one as the "sweet preppy one who wants to make them good again!" (somehow) while her poc gf works under her as a manager to her hotel. Same with how the show presents a victim mentality with a british sounding monarchy who's shown to mistreat a minority (sound oddly familiar poc followers?) yet the show wants to present him as the victim and not actually hold him accountable for this. While his "love interest" is one of those minorities, who ive heard, "used" to be his slave that was sold to him by his rich, british sounded father for a day. Yet ive also heard that despite that, the british sounding rich character still uses his past slave to his advantage and constantly treats him as "bellow" him on top of it.

They also named the only character who has an afro and darker skin "COCO." after the fact that she's based on a black woman while naming another black character "RAT."

Yet much of you still find that these implications arent weird?

Because as someone of a minority, this combined with the "slave" plot from Season Two of Helluva Boss is EXTREMELY weird.

What the fuck?!

(This is describing things that are canon and said by the creators themselves. Please dont spam me about quoting the wiki.)

(The series also never explains what they were arrested for (not like Verosika was performing "illegally" and they wouldnt have known whether Verosika caused the sea monster since they dont know about demons. So with the "SICK DEVIANTS!" and the "pig dick" along with the constant hate comments from the script on their sexual nature. Theres a huge chance that the script (the writers) choose for them to be arrested just for being... sexual. Yeah um... a person of color getting arrested for showing their sexuality... being played off as a "joke." You legit cant call yourself "progressive" and then constantly pull shit like this towards minorities (autistics and all) and not somehow be seen as a hypocrite. Jesus Christ...)

(self explanatory 👆🏾)

(the lower class minority of the series (imps) being sold as a slave to the british monarchy of the show and the series labelling the ex-slave's relationship with his past master who takes advantage of him constantly as a "cute" and "romantic" relationship.👆🏾 Did I mention that they are also showing the minority in the situation as "theives" towards the monarchy with a british accent?)

(The representation of Voodoo as "evil"/only showing the evil spirits/misrepresenting harmful spirits as "evil.")

I swear that I am this close to making a video on this.

Yikes!

[mellowwangxianenthusiast]

Vampire Kagehina pt 1 of ?

"Hey Tobi, look at the fangs I got for Halloween this year!" He walked into their shared apartment and pulled out the cheap plastic fangs he had just bought from Spirit Halloween on his way home from work. He got a blank stare in response from his roommate/man he's been in love with since sophomore year of college. "Thought you didn't believe in the supernatural?" Kageyamas voice was incredulous with a slight hint of hope that made Hinata roll his eyes. "I still dont and no matter what you try to tell me, the landlord is not a werewolf and the baristas arent fairys" "Fae" "Whatever, and the bakery isn't run by fairies! Just cause theyve gotten you into the habit of buying coffee from them doesn't mean they put a spell on you."

"Sho, the landlord literally goes on vacation every full moon and dogs love him. And they did!" Hinata rolled his eyes, only he would have a crush on the world's most enthusiastic supernatural believer. "No you just are weak to a good deal. I'm surprised you're awake already,

You went to bed at sunrise...I dont know how you can stand the nightshift, I'd miss the sun too much...not the heat though" He wasn't startled when Kageyama suddenly was by his side, unloading the groceries. He moved freaking quieter than a mouse. "I have tonight and this weekend off so I thought we could have a movie night or something." Hinata immediately agreed, rattling off the list of Halloween movies they absolutely must watch. They had been roommates since Senior year and four years later, Hinata was still

Got giddy everytime Kageyama wanted to spend time with him. He never understood why someone who looked like him, who was as smart and talented as him, wanted to spend time with Hinata. Well, aside from the fact that Hinata was the funniest person alive. At least that's how

Kageyama made him feel, since he always laughed at Hinatas jokes. Not even pity laughs, real ones They cuddled on the couch as they started the marathon. It had started under the guise of Hinata always running hot and needing something to cool him down, and after all these years

It just became natural. The days leading up to Halloween blurred together and Hinata had noticed that Kageyama had been increasingly more touchy, spent even more time with him. Even met him for lunch a few times, which was surprising since he hated waking up early. Hinata tried to not hold out hope that Kageyama had feelings for him too. Hinata got home from work early on Halloween and he was excited because they were going to Kageyamas friends Halloween party. Sho had been begging Kageyama for years to ask for an invite since it was

"Exclusive", though he never would say exclusive to who. Hinata wasn't sure what made him change his mind this year. When he got into his room, he changed into his vampire costume, making sure his hair was slicked back and that the contacts looked good. "Okay Tobi I'm re- hey!!! You told me you weren't dressing up this year!! Bakageyama, you could have gotten me fancy cool fangs too!!! Geez those look so real, how much did they cost?" Hinata didn't mind they were both going as vampires, though his traitor best friend could have shared the link to the deep blood red contacts and the scary realistic fangs that looked like they really could pierce skin. The idea made his knees weak but he couldn't get distracted by the betrayal! "They didn't cost anything. They're real." "Tobi I think I would have known

If you were getting your teeth changed at the dentist." Hinata went into their shared kitchen and grabbed a water bottle, turning around just as Kageyama moved towards him almost like a blur. "Sho, you really have to listen to me for once. Especially if you want to go to the

Party. It's dangerous for humans so you need to be aware" For humans? Maybe Kageyama was more into Halloween then he thought... "Right right well tonight I'm not a human, I'm a vampire!" All that got was a huff of frustration and the next thing Hinata knew was his hand was

Being grabbed and there was a serious look in Kageyamas eyes. "Do you trust me?" "Always." The immediate answer made Kageyama smile but his focus turned to Hinats arm and he bit him. Hinata expected pain, I mean who goes around biting people, so when pleasure built in his

Stomach and a quiet moan escaped his lips, he was confused. Kageyama was drinking his blood. He didn't do it for long, only a few seconds before he unlatched his mouth and licked the small amount of blood from Hinatas skin and his own lips. He stepped forward, caging Hinata in

Against the counter. "The landlord is a werewolf. The bakery is ran by fae, and your roommate is a vampire." Every fiber of Hinates being was screaming that this was a joke, but deep down he knew it was true. I mean, his best friend just drank his blood. "I'm in love with a vampire...?" That was not what he meant to say, outloud at least. Kageyama had a brief flash of surprise on his face before he was crowding into Hinatas space, tilting his chin up so hinata was forced to look up at him. He hated (re:loved) the smirk looking down at him. "You love a vampire. If I was less selfish, I'd say you poor thing, having a vampire love you back" That took Hinatas breath away. Kageyama leaned forward, his lips inches above Hinatas "Only if you want this too"

Hinata nodded and then their lips crashed together and he felt hands grip his waist. He wanted to kiss him forever, and when he opened his mouth and then felt the tip of a fang graze his tongue, he knew forever wasn't enough. When they broke apart, their chests were heaving and

It took Hinata a few seconds to pull his words together. "We can go- we can go to the party next year" He got another victorious grin in response and the next thing he knew, he was straddling Kageyamas lap as they sat on the couch, kissing once more.

[xoxo-teddybear]

Hey! I don’t know if you’re still taking requests or not but I saw your “Pregnant?” prank and i started thinking ab those pranks on tiktok where the girlfriend is on the phone while her boyfriend is in the car and says something like “Yeah I’m in the car with my hubby” or something along the lines and I thought it might be an interesting thing for you to write?

don’t feel pressured to do it! I’m sure you have a ton of requests already! I just thought it might be fun to do if you enjoyed writing the pregnant prank one 😊

anyways! have a wonderful day/evening (whichever one applies) hope this doesn’t stress you out!

My god I love this cute shit! MIND YOU, REQUESTS ARENT OPEN…but I do be taking some every now and then when I loveee the ideas, so here we go

He My Husband - Bakugou Katsuki

Warnings: FLUFF, cursing (it wouldn’t be a Bakugou fic without it ;), crack

Summary: you call your boyfriend your husband…this is his reaction

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

You and Bakugou were sitting in the car together, waiting for you to be done with a call from your manager.

Katsuki’s been a little grouchy ever since the start of the call. This was supposed to be a date but because of your hero careers, something always has to intervene. He sat in the drivers seat with his arm resting on the side door as he allowed his head to sit in his hand. His leg was bouncing in annoyance with your mandatory call and you noticed your boyfriend’s sour mood.

Seeing him being so down, you decided to up his spirits a bit very subtly. I mean, you guys have been together for years. You should know how to make him smile. And for sure, you definitely did.

“Yes..yes I understand,” you said with your phone pressed to your ear. “Okay..thank you…yes, thank you. Alright, yes I will speak with my husband on the matter…”

Hearing those words, Katsuki raised his head and looked towards you with wide eyes as the voice in his head was glitching in utter shock. ‘Uh- did she just- no fucking way!’

Bakugou began to smile like crazy as he gave short laughs and began jumping in his seat. He was running his hands through his hair while his cheeks were beginning to ache from smiling so damn much but he didn’t give a fuck. You just called him your husband!

“Babe!” He whisper-yelled trying to get your attention as he patted your arm. “Babe! Baby, get off the phone!”

“Suki! Just a minute!” You laughed as you whispered back, trying to hide the conversation from your manager. Bakugou shook his head as he took your phone out of your hand.

“No- no we’re not doing this,” he said and shook his head with a smile as he looked at your screen before putting the phone to his ear. “Sorry, she’ll call you back later.”

With that he hung up the phone and gave the device back to you. You took it with a laugh before looking at him with a pout. “Babe-“

“You called me your husband!” He said with a wide smile.

“Yeah?” You said as you looked at him with a confused look as if this was known information. Bakugou threw his head back before opening his window.

“Fuck- fuck- HELL YEAH!” He screamed out the window. He cheered, loudly, as passers who walked by his open window looked at him with a laugh as they continued moving forward. “OH MY GOD! IM A HUSBAND!”

You laughed at your longtime boyfriend’s antics. “Baby! Stop! People are staring!”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! You know why? ‘CUZ I’M YOUR HUSBAND!” He said with a laugh as he shouted at you this time. He then turned to face the window as he called out to random people. “Aye! Did you hear her!?

“Yeah! I heard man!” The stranger cheered for him.

“She called me her husband!” Katsuki rejoiced.

“You got that!” The stranger encouraged him and cheered him on making the both of you laugh.

“Oh my god! Aye are you tryna’ come to the wedding?” Bakugou asked as a joke, not even realizing he was so happy he was acting out of character.

“I’ll be there! I’ll be there!” The stranger joked as he walked on while congratulating Bakugou again. Your boyfriend wouldn’t stop so you literally had to lean over and shut his window. “Uh- babe! I wasn’t done!”

“Yes you were, Suki-“

“No, that’s not my name no more. You gotta call me your husband.” He said with a smile as he took your hand in his and leaned into your face.

“Suki-“

“Say it. What am I?”

“You’re my husband.” You said softly with a smile.

“I’m your what?”

“My husband.”

“That’s right I’m your husband.” He chuckled as he leaned in closer and squealed in his own way with his deep ass voice. “I love you so much, c’mere, give me a kiss.”

You leaned in and held the side of his face as he pecked your lips multiple times before ending it with a sweet and loving kiss. He pulled back and kissed the back of your hand as he started up the car and started driving. “Alright, we gotta go find the guys now,” he said referring to his friends in the Bakusquad.

“Wha- but what about our date?” You asked.

“Later. We gotta find the 3 idiots.”

“Why?”

“Gotta tell them the good news,” he said and rolled down his window as he drove and yelled out of it again. “L/N Y/N CALLED ME HER HUSBAND!”

Tag list: @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101 @ebiharachan @is-this-ash @iris-shihabi @sxturn-stars @isolight @lanantoine @whatdidshesayyy

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

!!! Someone else who gets just about triggered by 'smoothsharking' of any kind.

Like im autistic and I dont get jokes like that well because im bad at 'lying as humor' and all smoothsharking sounds like to me is 'haha person who doesnt get a joke time to gaslight them instead of explaining the joke!'. It sounds like ableism dressed up pretty and fine because its a meme.

Id argue it IS gaslighting because its intentionally insisting to another person that something is what it isnt. The effect is just about the same as gaslighting, even if they dont explicitly intend to make us doubt reality.

Id see people post 'of course being mean to people who doing get jokes is wrong, always explain the joke uwu' and like 5 posts later do a smoothshark so many times its unreal.

The joke is explicitly meant to come at autistic folks ('its to make fun of joyless assholes who insist on correcting you about things, especially jokes because they arent accurate') like thats literally autistic folks... do they not realize?

The joke isnt explicitly meant to attack those who have problems staying firmly in reality (dissociative or psychotic issues and such), but it is VERY unfriendly to them.

Its just so frustrating to try to explain or ever talk about this or even talk about things in a very serious context and have 500 people come smoothshark you on purpose even though they know it upsets you.

Its vile. The joke is just ableism and im just so tired of it. I dont feel safe seeing those fucking jokes I wish it would die already.

The person who started it had good intentions probably, but what its become is just socially acceptable ableist abuse.

Hmm. I'm not sure I entirely agree? I'm pretty firmly in the camp of "don't attribute things to malice when negligence will do". I think this joke was likely *meant* to be wielded against "people who absolutely need to have the last word". That....unfortunately includes a lot of people who aren't as likely to understand they have the option to bow out of the encounter. This is not a recipe for happy times for anyone. I'm...not really interested in litigating who's experience of being collaterol damage to comedy is worse/more immediate on this one.

But yeah, I think that the total devotion to the bit created some real conflicting access needs around the bit that did not need to be there. And I definitely experienced (and saw) people using it on purpose in ways that seemed really intentionally mean spirited rather than collectively entertaining. This was a bad combination because, as always, it very easily made "why can't you take a joke" a plausibly deniable dismissal of any time the bit was taken too far or used cruelly. Good cover for those who rely on social conventions to escape consequences for doing harm.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 111

sigh~~~ I feel that my recent posts are a bit negative towards the anime, but thats cuz the chapters I’ve read so far are either unbelievably important character depth content cut for no valid reason or content in the anime but packed with million other things that it lost its purpose or importance. Basically tohu’s ep 6 which consists of 4 chapters & now ep 5 which is a momiji ep & yup, packed with 4 chapters as well... so, I apologize for any negativity, my intention is just analyzing artistic & story-telling aspects, I love se03, but yeah it screwed up lots of important characters due to its not so thorough plot decisions & harmful character insight choices.

today.. we explore Momiji... but only before his curse breaks.

Furuba anime struggling to know how to design an episode based on various plot-heavy chapters?

so, they decided 13 eps, & decided one ep for momiji cuz motoko’s graduation & the fanclub is the core of the furuba & have already cut tons of tohru, cuz who cares? she’s kind. be like her. end of lesson. No. really, jokes aside, how to do this?

How to combine several chapters in one ep? collect small snippets from chosen chapters/content like a bee does flowers? you gotta skip some content, you gotta highlight others. The ep is only 20 min after all & you got an op & Ed that you cant always skip.... so.. furuba team decide that momoji’s ep should be true to his zodiac animal, this is the rabbits last appearance in spirit. so, they went with quick hopping from one chapter to the other like a rabbit?

No really, ep 5 is really like a rabbit in its flow, you can’t savior a moment enough before jumping to the other: we learned momiji grew up!! loves toheu romantically, challenged kyo, really meant it, wanted a fair love game, got freed, lost tohru romantically & faced momiji! but that’s not all? we still have space!! quick add akito’s moodiness & love triangle with her dog & her submissive bed partner, add a happy comedy for no reason whatever & make shigue kiss tohru & wish shes 'was his lover instead!!!!!!!!! Mind you all this happened in the anime before shigure hurt tohru with his “the truth of the zodiacs talk & them accepting & feeling consolance that kyo is doomed”talk. 

-Gets whats my biggest surprise after reading this chapter ?????????

Shigure is consistent!! He isnt a rabbit hopping here & there. The dog is loyal & is tired for good reason! Him being depressed & his weird talk with thoru makes so much sense given the manga’s order.

Kyo is consistent!! In the anime, momiji surprise him with confession he loves tohru & challenge him, then kyo la~la~la~joins them downstairs for curry. Not a single expression on his face, where is the expression? it will appear when the plot is forced to address it: by the end of the ep when momiji face hin again. Then we get kyo’s reaction.

I need someone to tell the anime that actions require a reaction. You can refrain from showing a certain reaction if you can’t address it now, but you can’t erase it, negate it, then make it appear when have to!!!! couldn’t they make kyo refuse to join them & eat together? the     other characters wont be surprised they think he’s needlessly moody. The audience will know that kyo is troubled with momiji’s challenged & it will excite them!!! having kyo just go eat & watch the momiji/hiro/haru/yuki comedy skit is weird.

The manga’s author wanted kyo to join the dinner, like the anime did. but huge difference. the author actually cares for logic reaction & understands that the audience aren’t dumb little kids that will sit & wait for kyo’s turn to...react! nope! she did this: (a) & (b) below.

-Lost Small Bits/ Panels from the chapter.. But Sadly Big Huge Chunks for Characters buildup & Growth:

(a) addressed the fact the hiro noticed kyoru is in love & dressed that shigure was right!! the cat being in love is a weird concept to the zodiacs! hiro reacted naturally & the author used hiro to flesh yuki’s (the rat), momiji’s (the rabbit) & haru’s (the cow) decision to silently watch the kyo (the cat) makes his own decisions to live!!! They won’t interfere or tell akito or remind him of his state as the doomed caged cat. So sad this moment is cut from yuki. Why must yuki only interact with kyo to beat him (all seasons)? why must yuki only think of kyo to envy him (all seasons) ? Here, yuki’s growth towards kyo as a person & his relationship with tohru is 1000 times better than all tohru is my mom’s sh!t & I envy kyo’s Sh!t we saw in the anime over & over till we memorized it.

(b) kyo didnt just go la~la~eat with momiji after knowing he loves tohru. Nope, there’s small bits missing: called logical emotional reaction. He was surprised he’s caught pining over tohru! cuz yuki, the audience representative, has told us in the previous chapter that ppl in love dont notice anything around them. Kyo thinks him being cold hid his feelings. the dummy’s feelings are as bright as the sun in the Sahara, tohru too. a child read her! such small thing that wont take much space from the ep but was cut cuz kyo only needs to be responsive at the ep’s end. & this scene of kyo & tohru looking awkwardly at each other is minor in space but so important cuz kyo is determined to let go but his decision is challenged by not only momiji, but his natural attraction to tohru. Here he knows he’s caught & exposed... here he knows momiji is a better choice for tohru cuz he wont didn’t hurt her mom... here he knows that even yuki is better cuz never had to pretend to be cold to her... here he knows the world is better than him... & here he just cant help by smile & walks towards her... T_T ... another lesson in writing slow burns by Takaya-san.

-Why would the anime team pass on this?? drawing kyoru closer after the epic tear in Cinderella ep, cuz they want empty suspense~! The anime team thinks that if kyo & tohru stand next to each other, then it means all their issues are solved & the audience are so stupid as to forget tohru’s mom, kyo’s imprisonment, kyo not confessing his sins to tohru & tohru’s need to make a choice wether to fogive hom or not.. nope! you see, they think, ppl who read mangas are smart, so the author can give this epic symbolism & pp would still be not sure kyoru is end game & tohru will forgive him or kyo even fogive himself, but ppl who watch, oh no, gotta cut all the plot worthy content, produce a graduation song for a minor character, cut all kyo/tohru interaction cuz it only means romance & not at all character depth & oh if we show yuki actually formulating deep thoughts that aren’t centered around him, the audience might forget his se02 struggles! or that might ruin yuki’s upcoming growth moment in the finale where he .. you guessed it hits kyo.. as he always do & sulk &  think abt himself cuz yuki can only do monologues when he’s directly involved.... man~it is so sad how the anime is dumped down.. Who is the target audience again? not kids as young as hiro cuz even hiro is smart!

-just look:

 Momiji talks abt kyo shouldn't give up loving tohru & the authr shows this this ghost!!! his mom! The author reminds us that kyo isnt da~~~~ forgetting anything. He’s a deeply troubled soul & hos mom wants him locked cuz she too was locked in a cage & thinks that’s safer...why oh why you dump ur own story! sh!t~

Side Notes:

I like the closeups on Kisa’s face as she interacted with kyo. It’s very rare for kisa to have a world beside the endearing parental/big protective bro/big doting sister love she has with tohru & haru & off course the romantic love with hiro which was perhaps since their birth or sth. lol.  Kisa & kyo arent much on the brotherly side as they rarely interact, but its one of those  refreshing  interactions she has that helps cast a new light on her as tiny as it is,  but its sth out of the norm around her. She sees him  around tohru & gets to perceive his true unprovoked character. “He is  nice guy”.

I really wanted to punch kureno this chapter.. like Shigure is a jerk shitty dog for sleeping with akito’s mom but kureno... dude.. you submissively sleep with the guy’s eternal love interest & still walks in on him talking to her!!! lol. you’re mentally, emotionally & physically weaker than him & yet, she puts you on her bed, not him & you, tho not wanting her at all, dont walk away. No wonder shigure is defeated & wishing for someone like tohru, lol! Even if shigure met an older tohru-like person, it wont work. shigure deserve someone like him mean, schemer & loves playing power games. Tohru is someone who values honesty & commutation, not saying she’s an angel on earth, but tohru knows who suits her.. except fate is saying: NO. .... currently. lol.

I know kureno’s weakness is part of his character & I love that such characters exits. There are ppl ike that in real life. It’s just this chapter, I felt shigure’s frustration. XD

Yuki in this ep is the best yuki. no exaggeration here, I love when yuki is calmly thoughtful of others & here its kyo of all ppl !!!! cutting this scene is sad.. without it, kyo & yuki remain a cat & rat in the anime. Only ever thinking abt each other thro envious binoculars or hateful words or yuki giving kyo comedic hitting or life’s problem-solving hitting. Why can’t anime yuki be interactive outside his self-centered issues is beyond me.

Momiji & kyo’s interactions are always the best! whether comedy or drama.

I hated the curry cooking scene in the anime... so weirdly out of the ep’s flow.. very forced comedy... in the manga it had a purpose! not just quick add comedy cuz next shot momiji curse breaks & drama & we’ll close the ep with tears & sadness & glimpses of hope...

I love haru’s answer to hiro... so him.. “a guy can’t fall in love?”so chill.. so..simple.

[prongssmrrcury]

a very bleak christmas

wolfstar fic /// one shot

word count ( 6.2k ITS LONG SORRY)

fluff, not much smut

this turned out awfully long IM SORRY😭 having that said i hope you enjoy <33 ily mwahh

"you ready wormy?" james said, shutting his trunk and looking at his bed and around the dormitory to make sure hasnt forgotten anything. he looked over at the shorter boy with sandy coloured hair who was bending down apparently trying to get something he dropped from under the bed, but struggling a great deal. he nervously shot his head up giving james a weak smile and said "yes, im ready, i just dropped something here im not sure what-"

"just tell moony to fetch it for you while we're away" james said and peter just agreed and left the dormitory trailing after james with his trunk, shutting the door on his way. the gryffindor common room was emptier than usual, but the fireplace was lit with a couple of people huddling around it to shield themselves from the ruthless cold of december. despite this however, peoples spirits were as light as ever as almost everyone was departing for two weeks to spend christmas with their families, even lily evans stopped rolling her eyes every time james breathed, and started spending more time with him and ( to james' great delight) enjoying his company. speaking of lily, she was standing by the fireplace with her hair up in a ponytail with a furry winter cap on her head. james noticed her at once and made his way down the flight of stairs and tapped her shoulder softly, she turned around and gave him a warm smile, a short hug followed.

"happy holidays james!" she smiled so widely it watered james' eye. she called him james, not potter.

"happy holidays" he managed to respond, taken aback by the sudden affection she just showed him. she looked around furrowing her brows slightly then spoke, "wheres your trunk? have you not packed?"

"oh no i have! i left my trunk with peter to um, you know, come and say hi" he said the second part of the sentence quietly, she let out a soft laugh, god he just wanted to kiss her so bad. "wheres yours?" he asked quickly. she turned around slightly to show him her trunk which was standing behind her, tapping it twice.

"alright then, lets go down to breakfast, minnie wouldnt want us to be late" he told her, taking her hand and leading her out of the common room with him. he looked back at peter who was struggling with his own trunk and james' but peter just shot him a thumbs up as if he got everything under control.

"alright wormy, dont be late" he muttered. the pair of them walked down from the gryffindor tower to the entrance hall and right to the great hall where elaborate christmas decorations were encapsulating the place, giving the entire castle a more homey vibe. the four house tables were emptier than usual, james and lily made their way to the gryffindor table where they were met by a handsome boy with long hair that he managed to scruff in a very messy pony tail, and a taller boy sitting across him who seemed to find his buttering his toast to be a very intriguing activity. lily and james took seats next to them.

"morning" sirius spoke, looking at lily then at james.

"morning sirius, how are you" lily replied, who also began buttering her toast. sirius didnt respond right away, instead he eyed her then finally spoke, "oh im, im very good" it didnt really seem like it, sirius didnt seem to be in his loud, arrogant and flirtatious mood today, instead a rather dull and quiet one. lily looked at james silently trying to understand what had caused the sudden change in sirius behavior, she was met a mere shrug from james. the four of them sat in silence for the next ten minutes, no one breaking silence that seemed to have swallowed them. remus then looked up for the first time and sighed loudly, which made sirius look very attentively at him, waiting for him to say anything.

"im gonna go, im in the dorm if you want me pads. enjoy your holidays james, you too lily" he said lowly, also clearly in a dull mood in contrast to everyones mood right now. he got up and left, shooting them a weak smile before disappearing out of the great hall.

sirius watched him so closely even when he had gotten out of sight. it was common knowledge that the pair are in love and clearly fancied each other, almost everyone in school knew that. maybe its because of sirius' shameless attitude, cuddling with remus in the common room, sitting on his lap in the middle of the great hall, or pushing remus against a wall and just stand in front of him doing god knows what. the only problem was... neither sirius nor remus knew they liked each other. they obviously knew they had a different relationship than anyone else but they were so oblivious to the fact that theyre in love that it sometimes made james just want to scream it in their face.

"you okay pads?" james said mockingly, sirius had been staring at where remus left for at least ten minutes completely transfixed, he came back to his senses at once and looking abruptly between james and lily then back at his doughnut, fiddling with it slightly. he then shot james an alarmed look and said, "dont call me that james". he spoke so firmly, he knew james knew this is what remus calls him. no one was really allowed to use that nickname with him, even he and james who had a light hearted friendship that was basically based on jokes and pranks, sirius pronounced the words looking into james' eyes, which made james know he was being one hundred percent serious. james didnt respond, feeling a rush of guilt in his stomach, he just took a bite of his oatmeal.

"how are things with you two" james asked. sirius once again didnt respond right away but instead took time to ponder his answer.

"what do you mean how are things"

"you know, have you guys had a row or anything?" james asked, stuffing more oatmeal in his mouth.

"oh- um yea no. not really no" sirius hesitated a bit. the truth is that remus and him didnt have a row, but today was one of these occasions where sirius woke up finding himself on remus' bed not knowing how or why. it had happened a couple of times before and when it did, remus would immediately smile warmly at sirius and pamper him with kisses here and there on his cheek and his jaw. however, today, remus woke up a bit more shaky to the fact that he was in the same bed as sirius. he straightened his pyjamas quickly giving sirius an awkward smile and leaving without a word.

james dropped his oatmeal and looked at sirius looking serious for the first time, giving him a smile that carried something between sympathy and support.

"are you ever going to tell him?"

"tell him what" sirius said bluntly

james smirked. even lily suppressed a knowing look. sirius rolled his eyes.

"you guys are not onto that bullshit the whole school talks about right?" he asked cringing slightly.

"if the bullshit includes you and remus being blindly in love then yes" james gave a small laugh.

"literally blindly" lily mumbled, but sirius heard her and gave her a look.

"guys- hes my best mate"

"doing a lot of canoodling with your 'best mate' ?" james smirked rolling his eyes.

"first of all, what the fuck is canoodling james, this isnt the eighteenth century" he ppinted out the weird choice of wording.

"whatever, point is, people dont sleep on their 'best mates' chests every day padfoot" sirius opened his mouth to protest but james cut him again "just save your breath will you. im trying to help"

sirius sighed heavily burying his head in his hands and shaking it.

"i dont fucking know what to do prongs. fuck ugh i hate this so much why cant it be simpler" sirius' voice got weaker.

"mate just talk to him, remus cant read your mind. and its pretty obvious the feelings mutual" james tried to convince him.

"i dont know if hes into- you know, into me" sirius tried to explain. sirius had come out to the entire school three years ago so it was common knowledge that was gay.

"oh he is" lily said

sirius blinked.

"i mean, i spend a lot of time with him in our prefects meetings and in the library and stuff" she explained. sirius blinked again.

"i mean" she began again, "he talks about you an awful lot and seems to be quite fond of you" she smiled.

"look, you'll never know if you dont ask" james said again. "look at me, i had to ask lily out at least fifteen times-"

"james what the fuck this isnt the same, why are you even comparing it" sirius interrupted

"oh of course its not the same, but communication is key, no matter what the relationship is"

"yea and when i ask him out and he just says i misunderstood all his soft affectionate gestures, then stops hanging out with me because im gay and he would know i have feelings for him, that clearly arent mutual. i'll just ruin everything, and i'll lose probably the only person that likes me in this lousy world" sirius spilled, laughing bitterly.

"sirius! you know remus would never stop hanging out with you because of that, you know it!" james said, his voice getting a bit louder.

"yea but it'd be a sticky situation when your gay friend has feelings for you" sirius said, his eyes filled with tears that he wiped right away hoping james and lily didnt see that.

"sirius.." lily said lowly

"lily can you please check up on peter and help him if needs any assistance" james told her firmly, she didnt need telling twice, knowing he wanted to be left alone with sirius. she made her way out of the great hall until she was out of sight, then james look at sirius again who had his head buried in his hands once again.

"sirius i dont know whats gotten into you today, but you know damn well that neither moony or i would ever think of you any differently because you're gay. stop saying that as if its something that hinders you" this was one of the rare occasions where james was serious and firm. he wanted sirius to know meant every word that left his mouth. at this moment he heard a sniff followed by a weak sob.

"james, i sometimes wish i wanst- wasnt, you know, gay" he managed to say between sobs. james' face fell suddenly.

"no dont say that. please dont say that, you know we love you the way you are and we dont give two damns if you're gay or not" james got up and made his way across the table to sit next to sirius rather than in front of him.

"you're me best mate, i dont like seeing you like this. i love you a lot sirius and nothing your little overthinking brain comes up with could change that" he said, pulling sirius into a hug, so hard that he mightve broken a few ribs. he wasnt gonna let go before sirius does, he could stay here all day until sirius was ready to let go. he heard strong sniffs and felt his chest going up and down. sirius broke the hug after a few minutes, looking a lot more content than he had a few minutes before. james gave him his usual cheeky smile.

"your fucking snout sirius" james laughed, picking up a handkerchief trying to clean his shoulder.

"fuck off" sirius managed to laugh, sniffing again.

"thank you" sirius said quietly

"come off it, dont thank me" james smiled at him. he watched him grab a cigarette and right when he was about to light it with the tip of his wand james stopped him hesitantly. james never really liked to mother him about smoking or give him lectures about the effects smoking had, but he noticed sirius was eating less and smoking more the past couple of days. sirius shot a "what-do-you-want" look to which james responded, "um, can you please just eat something before you smoke" james said. he knew this was a touchy subject, he never liked to mention it but they were alone and he knows he's the only one sirius would listen to. sirius gave him a hesitant look, before stuffing the cigarette back in his pocket.

"just for you prongs" he rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his doughnut. james however was filled with so much joy seeing his best friend do that just for him.

"what are you smiling so much at you prat" sirius said between bites. james shook his head softly before saying, "im very proud of you sirius, i hope you know that" sirius smiled and laughed dismissively at that statement, james knew it touched him but sirius never really knew how to respond to affectionate words.

"you're very sappy you know that" sirius laughed slightly.

"whatever" james felt his cheeks go red. "anyway i have to get going before i get minnie mad on christmas" he said, getting up, swinging his backpack on his back leaving the hall.

"tell moony i say merry christmas" james called, leaving the great hall also disappearing out of sight.

~

later that night, james and lily departed home to spend the upcoming weeks with their families to celebrate christmas, so did most of the school. as homey and welcoming as the school felt, everyone loved going back to their family, everyone except sirius. sirius was never fond of his family, he never had a good relationship with them and all they did was make him more miserable, he would take any chance to be away from them. sirius was sat in the library that was emptier than usual (but the ceiling was enchanted to fake snow) he was sitting with two giant books opened in front of him, yellowed by age. he looked over at the books, he hadnt read a single word despite being here for nearly an hour. he came here in an attempt to distract himself from the intensifying amount of nerves and stress, however, he was so lost in his thoughts that not even that gigantic book can save him from his exhausting overthinking. he sighed heavily, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulder, shutting the books that made a loud thud and put them back in their place. sirius swung his backpack on his back and left the library making his way to the gryffindor tower. he just wanted to sleep. yes, sleep, thats what he needed. he went through the fat lady's portrait and climbed up the stairs to his dormitory, finding remus sitting on his four poster bed completely engulfed by a book. remus shot his eyes up the second he heard sirius walking in and gave him a wordless smile, going back to his book. sirius' stomach did a funny lurch.

"i was starting to think youve forgotten your way around the castle" remus said, flipping the page of his book, still reading it. sirius looked at him nervously, not sure what he meant by that.

"what?" sirius asked, he was going to take his shirt off and get in his pyjamas but stopped abruptly. he didnt wanna make remus uncomfortable around him, especially after what happened this morning. they always had a very intimate relationship though, changing in front of each other was never a problem. remus suppressed a chuckle which made sirius look at him, unsure what he found comical in this very intense atmosphere.

"you can take your shirt off if you want sirius" remus said, still poured into his book.

"how can you even see me?" sirius couldnt stop himself. remus looked up from his book and gave him a is-that-even-a-question look. sirius slipped his undone tie, unbuttoning his buttons his fingers shaking horribly for a reason he didn't understand. he knew remus was looking in his book (not that he didnt want remus looking) but he still felt like all the worlds eyes are on him. a couple of awfully long minutes passed and sirius finally was in his pyjama and got into his bed under his blanket and stared absentmindedly into the wall. remus flipped the page once again, he hadnt read a word on the previous page. how could he? he was so preoccupied by sirius changing in front of him. remus did freak out when he found himself on the same bed as sirius this morning. he doesnt know why he freaked out the way he did, its not like its the first time. he knew that this had made sirius extremely self conscious the whole day, he was wearing a very dull look. he had to make up for his unexplainable actions, he cant stand seeing sirius this upset, especially if he was the reason hes feeling like that. he couldnt stand seeing him in such a bad mood on breakfast this morning that he had to dismiss himself early. but sirius' loss of his loud flirtatious attitude was what stirred the pot for remus. he didnt walk in the dorm and try to slip in bed with remus, or get a kiss from him, or remotely try draw any attention to hismelf from remus rather than that book in his hand, which was as un-sirius as one can get.

"why were you late?" remus asked sirius, knowing hes not asleep. sirius mumbled something inaudible from his bed that remus didnt catch onto. remus furrowed his brows slightly. he shut his book and put it on the bed side table, the sound he made when he shut his book made sirius shift in his bed to face remus who was staring back at him.

"where were you?" remus asked

"in the library" sirius said simply, avoiding any sarcasm or any joking around. remus face wore a surprised expression.

"oh- by your own will?" he said with a breathy laugh.

"yea" sirius replied

"what were you reading?" said remus, sounding excited. sirius didnt exactly know why he wad being interrogated by remus about his absence.

"um, i was just doing homework"

"oh, thats actually nice pads" remus smiled. sirius' stomach did another flip at the nickname. god this was so awkward and tense, sirius thought.

"sirius are you mad at me?" remus said, going straight to the point. every muscle in sirius' body went tense and completely still.

"no" sirius said bluntly.

"sure?"

"yea"

"okay. great then. um do you wanna come lay here with me?" remus offered, this was quiet foreign for remus as it was never him who initiated anything sexual or intimate. but he was willing to go out of his comfort zone for sirius. just for sirius.

"uh- sorry moony im really tired" it pained sirius to say these words, if he was being honest, he wanted nothing more than to lay in remus' chest right now and give him soft pecks and kiss his stupid plump lips.

"oh, okay" remus said lowly. "okay then" sirius wasnt sure what he meant by that tone, and before sirius has any other second to think about it, he felt his bed dip slightly and remus climbing on him, placing himself on top of sirius with his legs wide opened around his waist. sirius felt like all the oxygen in the world had escaped his lungs.

"tired, you said you are pads? want a little massage?" remus cooed softly. he leaned down on sirius' chest undoing his pyjama buttons revealing his tattooed chest.

"remus-" sirius tried to stop him. sirius promised himself he wasnt going to do anything like that with remus because he doesnt want to make him uncomfortable or possibly hate him more, however, this is different. its remus thats initiating it. it remus that did it.

"what pads?" remus continued cooing softly, completely stripping sirius of his shirt and attaching his lips on sirius' neck. at this exact moment, sirius moaned louder than he intended. he shifted slightly in his bed and put his hand through remus' hair. remus continued nibbling sirius' neck. he bit and licked at all the right spots, leaving a soft trail of kisses all over his neck and made his way up to his chin and on his lips, where he left a soft peck. sirius however pulled remus' head back towards him to kiss him properly, remus licked sirius' bottom lip which made sirius moan approvingly into the kiss. remus slipped his tongue in sirius' mouth and deepened the kiss, he felt sirius' hand wandering around his shoulder and slipped in his shirt to touch his bare skin.

"god this is so" remus moaned breaking the kiss only to attach his lips on his once again.

"remus-" sirius stopped him abruptly. remus looked down on sirius, his eyes mobing fast between his godly features, furrowing his brows slightly not understanding why sirius stopped him. did he make him uncomfortable? was sirius really not in the mood and remus overstepped a boundry? remus felt a horrible tingling feeling in his stomach as his brain raced between all the possibilities.

"remus im sorry- i cant do this" sirius said, as soon as the words left his mouth he felt horrible, reading the shocked and bewildered expression on remus face, he looked very hurt and unsure of himself.

"oh- fuck okay im sorry" remus said quickly, getting off sirius and leaving his bed, but sirius held his arm to immobilize him and not make him leave. they stared at each other for a few seconds that felt painfully long. both of them felt confused, upset with themselves and unsure of what to do or say next.

"can you please stay" sirius said quietly avoiding remus' eye. remus didnt respond which made sirius feel a horrible pit of nerves in his stomach.

"i- i don't understand. you just asked me to stop and told me you cant do this" remus spoke lowly with a soft rasp in his voice. sirius buried his head in his hand, he was on the brink of tears, he honestly didnt know what or how to explain his confusion to remus. how could he explain it or put it in cohesive words when he himself didn't understand.

"sirius please talk to me" remus said softly, holding sirius' hand

"rem i dont know how-"

"do you trust me?" remus cut him off.

"what- yes of course" sirius said sternly.

"then please tell me how you feel"

"how i feel about what?" sirius asked

"about doing this" remus tried to explain, sirius knew at once he was referring to all the sexual stuff they do.

"remus i love it. i enjoy it a lot, i sometimes just want the day to end only to get in bed with you. i- i dont know how to word my feelings because it's honestly just all a mess inside me" sirius spilled. this was the most he'd spoken all day. remus smiled at the last sentence. "what about you?" sirius asked, feeling the same horrible pit of nerves in his stomach increase. remus however smiled.

"i do things for you pads that id never do to anyone" he said, smiling more. he leaned closer to sirius' face and brushing a few strands of his hair out of his face. "but, if you feel unsure about this, we can stop and just be friends. i'd completely understand"

"no what the fuck moony" sirius said before he could stop himself, remus looked in his eyes. "no im unsure about your feelings to me, not about my feelings to you" he tried to explain.

"you think i dont like you?" remus asked quickly.

"well not exactly but im not sure how you feel towards me". at this, remus leaned down to kiss sirius lips a soft and tender kiss. he took his time to savor every bit of his mouth he could.

"maybe this would give you a good idea about how i feel about you" he smiled at him. "we're both exhausted, its best if we just go to sleep"

"right okay. can you sleep with me?" sirius asked, remus gave a breathy laugh at his sweet request.

"yes darling i can" he said with his usual rasp apparent, getting under the blanket and spooning sirius playing with his hair for the the next foreseeable hours until both of them were sleeping.

soft sun rays illuminated through the window of the gryffindor tower and on the entire hogwarts grounds. the translucent curtains that were in the dormitory were not doing any shielding from the sun rays whatsoever. it fell gently on the two boys that were sleeping together, tangled together, their bodies almost intertwining so perfectly with each other as if they were jigsaw pieces. sirius' head was on remus' chest, remus hugging sirius' body towards him and their legs just tangled. they looked so peaceful, their chests raising and going down every couple of seconds, it was all so perfect that one could confidently bet that even their heartbeats were in sync.

an owl came knocking its beak on the window above the bed theyre on, breaking the gentle yet majestically peaceful the state they were in. sirius shifted slightly in his sleep, opening his eyes to find uninvited sunlight penetrating right through his eyeballs. the owl made another knock on the window trying to grab their attention.

"fine okay" sirius said rasply, he got up sitting upright opening the window for that stupid owl that interrupted his sleep. the owl had two parcels tied on its leg. sirius untied them and the owl flew out at once.

"whos that from?" a raspy voice spoke he immediately knew it was remus.

"um, i think its" he turned the parcel around to see if there was any name, he smiled when he saw the senders name.

"yep, its from prongs" he said looking at remus who also smiled warmly.

"well, we'll open it later, lets just get up quickly now before we miss breakfast" he said, sitting up right and sliding his legs out of the bed. the two boys changed into their normal clothes. remus got into a hand knitted sweater and pants, sirius also got into a baggy sweatshirt and sloppily tied his hair up.

"pads is that mine?" remus smiled looking at the sweater sirius was wearing.

"maybe" sirius replied with a cheeky tone.

"course it is" remus rolled his eyes. "you literally have the biggest closet out of all of us, yet youre never wearing your shit" sirius gave him a weird look.

"not that i mind it darling" remus said softly, playing with sirius' hair slightly. they both left the dormitory and walked down to the common room with the intention to leave to the great hall, however they were met by a small table that was put in front of the fireplace with breakfast food laying on it. they looked at each other exchanging weird looks.

"there was no point of making you leave the common room only to go down and eat when its only you too in the whole school" professor mcgonagall's voice spoke. she was sitting on an armchair wearing her usual green dressing gown. "well anyway, im going down to have breakfast with the rest of the teachers. you two have a merry christmas" she smiled slightly and left the common room.

remus and sirius were just left there standing stupidly in front of the food table.

"well, i guess we're not leaving. sit down lets eat im starving" sirius said sitting himself down and starting to eat toast. they both ate until they were full and just laid on their armchairs to take their breath.

"wanna open the parcel prongs sent?" remus asked after ten minutes of silence.

"uhh sure" sirius said, getting the parcels, handing remus one box and he opened the other one. he tore the wrapping and opened it, a smile breaking on his face.

"he got me a wand polishing set. oh and look, he got me some hair bands" remus laughed a little. sirius put the hair bands in his wrist.

"what are you laughing at, i love it" sirius smiled "what did he get you?"

"he got me part six of 'crows or crowns'. its my favorite book and he knows i couldn't find that volume anywhere" remus' face wore a very big smile from that present. "oh and look! he got me a vest, it's beautiful"

"i'll be wearing that" sirius said at once

"of course darling you can wear it whenever"

"remus open my gift!" sirius said with so much excitement, remus held the huge box wondering what he has inside. he stared at sirius before opening it, unsure of what will meet him when he opens it. his suspicion grew larger when he was met by a cheeky smiling sirius.

"its not gonna blow up in my face right?" remus laughed a little

"only one way to find out" sirius shrugged

"oh god" remus joked. he opened the box and the first thing he saw was a big box inside labeled 'book polishing kit' remus' face fell with shock.

"sirius! sirius is this a book polishing kit? oh my god" he was gasping. sirius felt his cheeks burn by the fond expression on remus' face.

"holy shit pads where did you get this, these are so rare and expensive" he held it close to his face examining it with so much excitement.

"shhh its a gift" sirius was kind of embarrassed fora reason he doesnt know. "theres more stuff"

remus looked inside the box and laughed out loudly when he saw at least a doesnt bars of chocolate.

"what are you laughing at! this is the muggle chocolate you told me you like" sirius said flustered a little.

"yes yes i love it" remus smiled. "thank you"

sirius shrugged, not knowing what to say in situations like this.

"um, right open my gift" remus said looking nervous. remus' gift was something a little different and not very expected, he spent a lot of time thinking whether its a good idea or not. hes so nervous for sirius to see it, he felt his stomach lurch so badly he might vomit. he handed sirius an a4 piece of parchment that was folded into quarters. sirius gave him a confused yet excited look.

"are you giving me your transfiguration homework as a christmas gift moony" he joked.

"oh shut up and open it" every fibre in remus' body was screaming in anticipation and nerves. sirius unfolded the paper and read:

"dear sirius,

i am writing this in the dormitory for the fifteenth time at least. i thought so much about this and decided that its perfect. six years ago when i laid eyes on you for the first time, you had this aura that carried so much charm, something about your stupid gorgeous personality was so seductive and made me in complete lust for you. there aren't enough words in the english language to explain how you make me feel, nothing will come close to describing how i feel when you slip in bed with me every night, when i play with your hair, when i hear your heartbeats, when i hold your hand and stroke it with my thumb, when you kiss my scars, when you sit next to me in class sit there looking pretty doing nothing. i came to the conclusion that every little thing you do has me in utter awe. no one has ever made me feel like that, for a long time i was so confused as to why and how you could do that so effortlessly. i was confused about how i felt about you for so long, i was so confused about myself, and you helped me come to terms with who i am, by being so unapologetically you. at the end of a hard day you're always there to cheer me up, even in my darkest days, when nothing felt like it'll be okay ever again, you're always fucking here to change that. the number of times you've saved my life sirius, i couldnt tell you, by just merely being here. i figured that no matter what happens and no matter where life takes me, i want to always be with you. i never want to see that day i have to depart you, i dont ever see it coming because not even the strongest force from the gods above will make me leave you. im in love with you. im so fucking in love you idiot. im in love with the way you talk, the way you tie your hair, the way you dress, the way your eyes crease when you smile, your bark like laugh, your stupid jokes that i find funny unironically, your chirped nail polish... just in love with you. so sirius, this is me asking, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

sirius read the letters at least three times to make sure he wasnt missing anything, to make sure he was reading it correctly. was remus asking him out? was remus actually in love with him? none of this felt real. sirius felt like he's seeing stars in his vision, like he was going to pass out any second right now. he looked up at remus who was staring attentively on him and watching his every reaction. he met eyes with him and felt like all the worlds oxygen was being drained.

"so?" remus asked, his voice quivering.

"so?" he repeated as if this was a incredulous thing so say, " fuck yes i wanna be your boyfriend" sirius threw himself on remus on his armchair and splattered him with kissed everywhere he could reach.

"i never thought id be the lucky person to actually end up dating you" sirius breathed

"please, im the lucky one here" remus rolled his eyes.

"i mean hell yeah you are" sirius said sarcastically.

the pair of them spent the rest of the day sitting on the armchair cuddled up with the heat of each other, sharing soft intimate touches every now and then. they spent the whole day in peace and delicacy and made the most out of each other’s company. soon enough before they knew it, the holidays were over and students were returning to hogwarts for their second term.

“hi remus! hey sirius, good holiday? how are you two?” james showered them with questions enthusiastically when they saw him come in the gryffindor common room, he seemed to be in a cheerful mood.

“yea, great holiday” remus mumbled finding himself an armchair and sitting in it. the rest followed and sat on armchairs around him but sirius sat on his lap which remus scooted over a little to make space for him. james and lily looked at each other rolling their eyes playfully but happy that theyre on good terms, unlike the last time they saw them.

“what about you two? and you wormy? how was ur holiday” remus asked calmly, playing with sirius’ hair absentmindedly.

“great we had a great a time, i invited lily and wormy over, wormy couldnt make it though. but lily and i had fun, my parents liked her a lot” james smirked looking at her. “obviously they knew her because i always talked about her to them, but they’ve never really- woah WOAH” james’ speach was cut abruptly when he saw sirius attach his lips to remus’ and remus kissed him back fondly. they all exchanged shocked looks but they werent too shocked, they knew something was happening between the pair of them.

“woah guys” james laughed as they broke the kiss apart and giggled at their reaction.

“yea um, remus and i are dating” sirius said, lookinh flustered slightly. remus was still playing with his hair softly.

“does that mea we can go on double dates?” james said at once

“james potter i am not going on double dates with you and sirius thank you very much” lily said sarcastically.

“suit yourself, james and i are going on dates” sirius shrugged

“james and you are what-“ lily looked confused but cant help a laugh.

“thats right evans” sirius said in a dignified tone.

“dont you talk to my girlfriend like that black!” remus said at once. they all laughed at the sitiuation but lily said with a serious voice, “guys im so happy for you, youre finally together” she smiled wamrly. remus and sirius scooted closer next to each other smiling back at her.

“really proud of my mates” james said, trying to keep a serious tone but smirking at the same time.

[iamnmbr3]

hey! so ive read a lot of your loki series critiques, but i just wanted to pop in and say something about it thats bothered me: which is the difference between ragnarok and the loki series. i know you hate ragnarok, and while it does do loki's character poorly, i do have to say it reads as a whole comedic film. as in, every character at some points is mocked/humiliated or used as slapstick or just not taken seriously (not just loki, but thor, valkyrie, hela etc the list goes on). since every character gets the same treatment, its far easier to watch knowing that loki isnt singled out for it. and its even easier to watch if you pretend its thor's retelling of the story in a fun format to the avengers or someone, which explains the crass jokes and common slang and such. however, compare this to the loki series: the story and other characters are serious, however loki is always seen as a joke. he is the only one at the expense of slapstick and humiliation, and has no purpose otherwise. while ragnarok loki was faaar behind prior ones, at least in some moments he felt like loki. however in the series it feels like a side char used as comedic relief (which is bad for any character to exist solely for comedy, but especially one w such trauma and deep issues). i think thats why it especially rubs me the wrong way: its not like every character is overdramatized, used for comedy and obviously in a comedic movie or show. its as if they took a series concept and characters and threw in a two-dimensional side char to occasionally have some injury or mistreatment to make the audience laugh. not sure why people, even those who like ragnarok, arent talking about this more and how drastically different this series is even from ragnarok's ooc-ness?

This ask raises some excellent points! While I agree with many of the criticisms raised about TR there are also aspects I enjoy. For example I love Loki and Thor’s reconciliation at the end. I love that we got to see that. And I can enjoy that scene in isolation if I pretend that it was preceded by actual meaningful conversation instead of that awful, wildly ooc electrocution scene. There is nothing about the tv series I can enjoy. I don’t even see Loki in it at all. Just another character also played by Tom. And yeah while TR definitely retcons Loki’s character and makes the humor much more uniformly at his expense (he doesn’t really get moments where he gets to get the upper hand on someone, unlike other characters who have moments of getting knocked down but also moments where they get to shine and his powers are nerfed) but still it is far more even handed than the show is. 

In the show it’s ONLY Loki who I getting mocked and knocked down and hurt and depowered. The whole show is just other characters repeatedly defeating and humiliating and hurting him and this being presented as funny. It feels very targeted and mean spirited. The show was not made in good faith. And the messaging is horrific. THIS is how Disney treats it’s first major character to be confirmed queer????! It’s awful. We were promised a Loki show. Instead we got a character assassination. Wandavision and TFATWS were not perfect but they at least felt like they were made in good faith. This didn’t. and on top of that the team behind it is utterly without talent. 

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[b0ba-chan]

can i order popcorn chicken with lychee pls👉👈 so i'm a cancer🌞libra🌝scorpio⬆️! i'm 5'3 with long dark brown hair, dark brown eyes and olive skin also i'm middle eastern,,i'm studying med and my i'm a ravenclaw, actually i'm introvert but i'm good with people, i adapt easily where i go, and usually ppl think i'm humorous..i'm bad at sports, especially volleyball lmao, i'm easygoing, romantic, supportive, loyal and emotional :( i can describe my aesthetic as 'studio ghibli,, thx 4 listening<3

i match you with hanamaki takahiro! (。-∀-)

sweet!

both of you are inteoverted but very adaptable

very laid back and comfy with each other, late night exploring a lot

mainly just quiet drives and walks

he needs someone like you who is supportive and loyal bc this man is usually in between jobs

the funny couple, sqewing stupid one liners

you two giggle a lot, too many inside jokes when you go out.

you see something that reminds you of it, you look at each other and laugh

spicy!

touchy and lovey sexy times

i mean yes you two arent vanilla but when youre cozy and cuddling, it ends up being slow and soft

netflix and chill? nah. spirited away and bang.

literally it could even just be cock warming

its comfy when the both of you are just close together

idk shower sex is a thing for yall i cant stop thinkin (maybe im being biased)

[p-st]

my "unkillable" quirk oc's hero name (villain? just for fun civillian name?) would absolutely be "Casualty"

a lil joke based on their casual view on death and well. death

dunno if theyd be a hero, villain, or civillian! theyre all pretty fun to explore. a vigilante would also be cool but i dont think theyd be a super morally upstanding one. definitely theyd kill a villain to restrain them bc "theyre totally fine! yeah, they're definitely dead, officer, but theyll walk it off in a few hours so it's no big!"

okay actually..thatd be a fun universe 🤔

hold on lemme just. type out loud here

Casualty: The Undying Hero! (or is it the other way around? idk how hero titles work) their wounds heal faster than most and if they “rejuvenate” you (crowdsourced name), one quick nap later you'll be good as new! (bc they also heal faster when out though not as fast as them) they will only "rejuvenate" people who have given their full consent or there is no other option (heros they work with sign contracts that give the okay and for what circumstances)(civillians give spoken consent and can request a full contract at their agency if theyre frequent fliers)

casualty decides case by case what the best course of action would be because, unfortunately, they do come across several suicidal heros and civillians alike that just want to know what its like to die. they have several connections with mental health professionals!

like eraserhead, casualty's quirk doesnt give way to much combat ability (pretty good for defense tho is still hesitant to kill someone. villain or not. some ppl can get addicted to the feeling) they compensate during fights with support tools! this isnt something ive thought about so idk what kind of fighting style theyd gear themselves towards but i think id like something pretty versatile.

also kinda looking for the secret to their death since yeah their own body can kill them but they dont really get sick and, while not immortal, they'll likely outlive everyone of their generation

Casualty: The Killer Villain! (do villains even have titles like this lol?) just THINK of the way torture would go! they can drive right up that edge and when they push a little harder and you come out the otherside unscathed you still arent safe bc youre under their whim! not a big bad with huge showy villainous actions but arguably much worse than those who make headlines.

more of an information broker! theyre the one u go to if u wanna make someone break. also takes "assassination" jobs (the PERFECT person to help you fake your death. deals identities like cards) not much in the way of morals and will give you a quick death fix but mostly to get you off their back (thinks ppl who wanna die are pretty disgusting and they revel entirely in their longlasting life. slow and steady, babey) has people contracted to kill others for them.

definitely looking for someone able to kill them. it's a big daring exciting joke to them! fellow villains will make attempts and theyll critique their effort later. also they make a very good partner for ppl trying to test out how much a new move would hurt (other villains come to these spars and time how long casualty stays down. theres a leader board for the longest time down bc it means their move was incredibly violent)

Casualty: A Name as Feared as it is Revered! (okay this one is just for fun) being able to kill but it not sticking is PERFECT for them in their mind. in this universe they couldnt think of another path being better for them (because of their black and white view of “heros save” and “villains kill” and that their quirk fits neither. not really)

theyve got a hit on them from everyone and it makes their days exciting! they compliment the more creative attempts and will drop by the place of person who killed them and leave a sticky note with a full review lol. as mentioned above, kills as a way to restrain! it's to the point where it's so common that whenever it's mentioned that they were involved w a crime a special crew comes to take care of it (you gotta be trained to compartmentalize seeing so many dead ppl that wake up kicking. it does smthn to ya)

theyll target everyone alike! heros, villains, civillians! it doesn't matter youre all ripe for the pickin! theyve got ins with a wide range of ppl and if they cant deal with them personally theyll follow what they see as the best course of action. some people deserve to be publically demolished by a hero, some deserve the horror of a villain, and some deserve the cold hand of civillian law. theyve got a little (major) god complex and believe they have the right to be the judge jury and executioner (in spirit lol) obviously this mindset isnt well received by the public (coughstainchough) but unfortunately they make good judgement calls and they usually dont get the final say in what happens to someone anyway (unless they kill the person and that person learns their lesson or whatever)

does however have a personal vendetta of reforming systems and being very against the pissing contest that are hero rankings. this occasionally makes their judgement calls biased.

the most consistent things would be:

connections. lots of them and the types of connections depend on what path theyre on. theyre good at talking

outside support in the form of weapons or people to "finish the job"

general belief that their choice is more than likely the right choice

loose morals. comes with the territory of a death based quirk

controversial in any universe (except maybe a bonus one where they claim their quirk is not being able to die and not also not being able to kill? that universe would be steeped in self hate and either a bitter death or a life dedicated to putting a mental health support system in place for people with "villainous" quirks)(actually their quirk would still be controversial bc thats the point lol)

permanent casual view on death. doesnt see the big deal

very hm. unconnected to living? sure theyre just excited to be here! but they have the most solid grasp on the inevitability of death while also not super getting that when someone dies they get to stay dead? theres also the tiniest bit of envy there

probably either never got the death talk or got it very late. no one knows how many kids were at risk while being friends with them while young bc they wouldnt put the effort into saving them from life threatening situations (bc casualty always got back up, why wouldnt anyone else)

(bonus story for above would be that once while they were a kid a friend fell off a tree and hit the ground in front of them and they just walked away to keep playing then they came back later and the friend was still there so they went to either their own parent or the kid's parents and told them "[name] is taking a long time to get back up, i wanna play again." queue the sad ending here im aiming for)

upbeat sometimes in a near manic way. genuinely happy really often and finds joy in the smallest things like a slug in the grass or a wildflower coming out of the sidewalk (life in all kinds of places in all kinds of ways!)(theyre big fans of mushrooms. in death theres life or life gives way to life or whatever. idk it's fake deep. i just think mushrooms are cool and wanna project)

anyway this is like. long as shit lol! is anyone even reading this? i love you if you are. i might try to take this character and bend it to fit some of my own worlds bc wow i think theyre cool BUT if any bnha fans ARE reading this please feel free to include them in fics or stuff if you want! link me if you do id literally fall in love (u can name them what u want, dress them how you want, give them whatever pronouns you want, etc.)(dont claim them ofc but using them is fine!)

(and if you want me to idk... flesh out a character for you? 😳 lol id be very open to that! i love worldbuilding!! you dont have to.. aha... unless..?😳😳)