#even the fucking cat food videos?? i do not have pets but i know how to feed them fancy food

[elibeeline]

Why is like. Food prep videos my go-to for focusing on something.

[sowhat-whynot]

Get out!

bf!hamzah x fem reader

angst D:

──★ ˙ ̟🐇 ꩜ .ᐟ

Working at a boring office job is not for the weak. You’re constantly having to hear middle aged people bitch and whine at customer service, over the phone. “People don’t have an ounce of respect” is what you tell your coworkers. After hours of repetitive work, the only thing you want is to go home to your boyfriend and get a good nights of sleep.

You’re finally at your apartment complex and as you look, down fiddling with your keys, you accidentally bump into an older woman.

“Watch where you walking! Fuck!” She yelled looking back at you.

“I’m- i’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean it!” You quickly apologize.

She didn’t say anything else, she just kept walking angrily. Your day was just so full of negativity and is so draining. You couldn’t wait to be in your boyfriend’s warm arms and him telling you everything’s gonna be alright.

You walk up to your apartment door and twist the key to open the door. You’re greeted with a dark room and you notice all the lights are off. “Hamzah?” You call out but no one answered. You reach over to the light switch and still no sign of him. Just your cats.

“Hi babies” you bend down to pet your furry friends. At least someone’s happy to see you.

You got up and held onto the wall to take your heels off. The relief was amazing and possibly the best feeling ever.

“Hamzah, I’m home!” You yell out. You wandered around the apartment to try and look for him. No sign of him, yet. Hamzah’s “man cave” room was the only one left and as expected, he’s focused on his stupid video game. He sitting there grunting and cursing at his game.

“I’m home” you say and you received a quick glance from him.

“Fuck!” He yelled, right as he lost to another player. He ignored you and continued on with another round.

Him ignoring you made you feel like you’re an afterthought. It made you upset and angry. You thought he’d care a little more but you were absolutely wrong.

“Babe, did you eat?” you said to him.

“Mmm, I already ordered food” he mumbled.

“Seriously? Hamzah, I told you there’s leftovers from yesterday! Did I or did I not?” You sigh out loud, as anger slowly fills up your body. This was really the last thing your day needed.

“I guess I forgot”

“Can you pay attention to me! You over here playing this stupid ass game! You didn’t even greet me!” You yell.

“Jesus, y/n, calm down. Lemme finish this game” is all he had to say before tears started piercing your eyes. Your eyes that he loved so much.

“Is that really important right now?” You question.

Why is he treating you this way? What did you do wrong? You ask yourself, as you stupidly stand at the door waiting for him to say something sweet.

You go over to his monitor to turn it off, but he’s quicker than you. “What the hell are doing! No, get off!” He yelled and gripped your forearm with such force that made you squeal in pain. You can’t believe he’s acting this way towards you, it’s breaking your heart.

“What the fuck, ow!” You stare at him with tears slowly rolling down your cheek.

“I can’t with you right now, Hamzah! What has gotten into you? I come home tired from work just for you to treat me like shit!” You cried.

“Tired?” He laughed.

“You sit on your ass doing nothing but answer phone calls and enter numbers on a spreadsheet. What’s tiring about that?” He shook his head. At this moment, your heart dropped. He knows how draining your job is, because you tell him all the time.

“You’re an asshole! I can’t be here right now” you sniffle.

“Ok bitch go away” he said under his breath.

“I HATE YOU!” You screamed and slammed the door behind you. You’re full on sobbing at the thought of having to yell at him like that to get a point across. All you wanted was someone to comfort you and you realize you’re not asking for a lot.

You quickly put your heels back on and grab your bag to walk out the door.

“I hate it here!” You whisper to yourself, as the cold outside air hits you. You reach into your bag to get out a cigarette, hopefully to calm your nerves. The smoke satisfyingly fills your lungs then you exhale followed with more tears. You didn’t know where you were walking to, but you just knew you had to get away from Hamzah.

You have been walking nowhere, for minutes. It’s just you and your loud thoughts. The argument is constantly replaying in your head. Your tears have dried up from the cold air and your chest felt empty. You always made sure you were mindful with his heart. So, why didn’t he do the same?

You found yourself sitting on cold metal bench when, out of the corner of your eye, you see a figure approaching you.

“Y/n, is that you?” You turn your head and it’s surprisingly enough you see Mandy.

“Why are you out here alone so late?” She asked. Mandy looked into your eyes and she knew you’d been crying.

“Why are you?” You ask.

“I was just getting some baking ingredients for these muffins i’m making for Martin” she explains. “Y/n, what’s wrong” she sat next to you, wrapping her arm your shoulder to comfort you.

“Hamzah’s an asshole and I hate him. I have to break up with him.” tears run down your face again, at the thought of the traumatic scenes.

Mandy looks at you with such sadness and pulls you into a hug. “Oh y/n…let out everything you’re feeling, it’ll be alright” she said in the most sweetest voice.

“Hey, how about you stay at my place for the night? Martin’s not coming home until later tomorrow and you can tell me everything.” She said and you nod. “Don’t worry, y/n, you have me. You can tell me anything and you know this.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate it…I just don’t know what I did wrong, Mandy!” You said as you wiped your salty tears away.

“Let’s walk to my car, it’s cold out and I don’t want you getting sick” she said.

You get up and drop your cigarette on the floor to crush it with your heel.

At least there’s someone in this fucked up world who cares about you. You never thought there’d be a day where you would break up with Hamzah. You two had been dating for years and now those years and memories are gone.

Turns out Hamzah had just fallen out of love with you and slowly started to get annoyed with your presence.

But why?

You never found out why.

──★ ˙ ̟🐇 ꩜ .ᐟ

[schluttforschlatt]

Bartender (unnamed fic)

Hello friends :) time has come for me to post the prologue/intro for my bartender x schlatt fic!!! I haven’t written in YEARS but!! I’ve been itching to get back into the swing of things :) feel free to reach out with hcs, ideas and prompts! Depending on how this goes, I’d LOVE to to get to know yall and bounce ideas back and forth :)

Just a few things to establish context:

Reader is in their 20s / at least 21

Reader has 3 cats; Mellie, Oats, & Bones

Reader works 2 jobs; mornings at a diner, evenings at the bar

Reader is afab and is more feminine presenting

Reader is in college with an undecided major

Pairing: Schlatt x reader

Word Count: 971

Warnings: n/a

Routine.

Life was about routine.

Wake up. Shower. Feed pets. Get ready for your day. Commute to work. Work. Clock out and go the fuck home. Walk or get a ride home. Take off your makeup. Feed pets again. Netflix until you crash on the couch. Occasionally you’d play a video game before bed, but typically that was only during school breaks or long weekends.

Ah, long weekends. It’s been too long since you’ve had one of those.

You sighed, throwing the covers over your body, exposing you to the cold stagnant air of your apartment, and began to jump back into the routine of your current life. It was hard not to daydream of being back on the west coast- more tolerable weather and sunnier skies, but for the time being, New England would have to do.

You stretched and made your way to your connected bathroom, ready to brush your teeth and rid your mouth of the sour taste of sleep. Looking in the mirror you could make out freckles and moles dotting your cheeks, coupled with black streaks around your eyes. Forgot to take off last nights makeup, again.

Once you deemed your teeth clean enough, you turned around and started the shower. Always extra steaming hot. You undressed lazily, throwing pajamas across the bathroom to be collected at a later time. Fog began to form on the edges of the mirror indicating the temperature appropriate for you to enter the shower.

It was a typical shower. Hair washed, conditioned and brushed, body scrubbed maybe a little too hard with a loofa but smelling of vanilla body wash. You skipped shaving today. Saved you a few minutes and some energy. You turned the silver knob to the side, water ceasing, and bundled yourself up in a fluffy towel to make your way back into your bedroom.

One of your cats, Bones, had made his way into your room, perched atop your bed, meowing for attention. You smiled and relented, reaching down to give him a scratch under the chin.

“Well, hello, mister! Good morning my little love bug!” He butted his head into your hand, purring loudly as he did so. You plopped down onto your mattress to devote more attention to the happy creature. “Are you ready for breakfast? Would the babies like to eat?” He meowed in response as you got back up to get dressed.

Black jeans, black v-neck shirt, fuzzy Grumpy Bear socks, and a grey cardigan was the outfit you’d picked out for the day. It wasn’t anything special, but it was your typical bar shift get up. Just the bar today. Thank Christ almighty. You gave yourself a once over in your closet’s mirror, nodding your head in approval.

You’d done the hardest part of your routine: get out of bed and get dressed.

You made your way to the small kitchenette (realistically, it was a standard sized kitchen for the size of your apartment, but it left you wishing for just a little more cabinet space and a little less outdated appliances), and opened a cupboard, bringing down the little ceramic bowls in which to feed your cats. And of course they began bombarding and begging you the second the clank of the ceramic sounded off through the room.

Mellie was the first to receive her breakfast, as per usual. She was the only one of the three to not grasp the concept of “no”, especially when it came down to food. You were hoping by the time she turned one she’d settle down, but it was apparent that she was starving because you never feed her enough. Clearly by the chunky build of her body, she was just a starving, neglected baby. She jumped up on the counter to rub her cheeks against the hand scooping her precious breakfast from the can to the bowl. You scooted her bowl to the side to continue dishing out breakfast for the other two.

Oats was next in line, sitting with perfect posture as she observed you scoop a hearty spoon of pate into the next bowl. You would look down at her and smile, earning a slow blink in return. You took a step back to set her bowl down in front of her, and watched as she dived into the brown mush.

Bones was last to be served, always a gentleman waiting his turn. He wrapped himself around your legs as you turned back to scoop his portion. Cooing at him in a baby voice, you bent down a final time to deliver his meal, earning a content chirp as he began to dig in.

After washing your hands and grabbing a granola bar from a box on the counter, you made your way to the living room, plopping down in the middle of the aging couch (look, the last renters left it and who are you to say no to free furniture?). Sighing, you reached in front of you to grab your laptop off the coffee table and decided to scan through your emails before switching tasks to work on an essay assignment due later in the week.

You’re not sure how much time had passed, but glancing down at the time displayed on your screen, you decided three paragraphs was enough for now and began to gather your belongings needed for the day ahead of you. After Saving your work and closing your laptop to return it to the table, you took a stretch break before pulling yourself from the comfy cushions and sliding on a pair of old, clunky boots.

After gathering your work bag, you gave each cat a little head scratch. “I’ll see you later babies! Be good!” And with that, you were out the door, ready to take on the routine of your work day.

A/N: alrighty! Prologue is here! I hope y’all enjoyed this lil intro 🩶 I’m not sure how many chapters I’m aiming for BUT I do have roughly 3 parts outlined :3c

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

Some head canons

Teen hanma

also can see him being the type of guy who picks video games over studies

He watched tv once (horror movie)

with kisaki and it ended up with kisaki wacking him in the nuts

He has a thing for saying "fuck it" alot after risking something stupid

Hanma has a thing for clinging up your window and knocking on it at 4am

timeskip hanma

Hanma has a whole collection of watchsHe probably kisses his s/forehead while softly speaking to them about the, plans for the day every morning

homeless hanma befriended a lot of street cats and when he finds money he buys the cats food instead of buying himself food

Hi Kat, thanks for another ask (I'm absolutely lovin' this)!

C/W ::: Mmm, nothing really. More sweet Shuji.

︽ I can definitely feel the whole play before studying. If he studies that night at all. Shuji isn't stupid. He's not necessarily book smart, either. But he figures he's made it this far. What more does the world want from him?

︽ I feel like Kisaki gets really impatient with Hanma (especially) sometimes and feels like there's no other option but to whack him on the balls. But to be fair, Kisaki feels like that about a lot of people.

︽ He DOES say fuck it. I think before doing stupid shit, too. Sometimes, that's the last little push he needs from himself to get the (crazy) job done.

︽ Hanma totally goes to your window at 4am. On nights when he just can't stop thinking about you and how nice you keep being to him. You're one of the first people that doesn't treat him like an absolute asshole (that he secretly feels like??? Is that so much of a stretch?)

︽ He is so vain sometimes! But he would argue there's "nothing wrong with taking pride in your outer appearance." Whether it be with clothing, jewelry, watches, hair ... the man probably has a regular place he gets his brows done, gets facials, and has regular full-body massages. I just see him as someone who likes to be papmered. So what if he has to do it for himself. He's earned it (lowkey not really, though, but he has that mentality that he "deserves it").

︽ When you and Hanma spend the night together, it's usually at his place. He likes the added security of his boys being nearby if anything happens. He can send you off with them or have them stay with you there (he might not even have to wake you up if there's anything eventful happening in the middle of the night), and he won't need to worry about you getting hurt over some stupid shit he started with Toman or Black Dragon. But he totally wakes you up with sweet, soft, minty kisses all over your face in the morning because he's already been up for 2 hours, drinking his coffee and catching up on shit. He brings you a French pressed coffee (a latte, with your favorite flavor or syrup. I think he drinks it black usually, but you've gotten him to sway/experiment with his tastes a little here and there.) And he'll sit down on the bed next to where you're laying and discuss what each of you will be doing that day and how you're coming back to his place again tonight - because he said so.

︽ HANMA. IS. A. CAT. PERSON. I'll say it again. HANMA. IS. A. CAT. PERSON. His landlord/lease doesn't allow pets, so he has to do without. But! But! But! There's a dumpster out back that the complex throws their trash away in, and it's become home to about 15 strays. He saves his table scraps for the "little beggars" when he has something tasty to eat (and by save his table scraps, I mean he saves his food for them to nibble on). He only recently told you about how he helps these kitties out. You think it's the sweetest thing for such a tough guy like him to do, and you know better than to make a big deal about it because he'd get embarrassed and then he and the cats would suffer. And there's enough suffering in the world. You also slip about 6,000 ¥ into his wallet and coats once every couple of weeks or so when he's not looking so you can help feed him AND the cats. You're a big softy for general wellbeing. He's always so surprised to find the money, "Oh what? Look what I found, hana! Shit, I'm lucky. The happy look on his face is so worth it for you because you know deep in your heart of hearts that he's thinking first of the cats and then he'll get whatever he can with anything left over.

Taglist ::: @sjsjkkalatjejejskal @arlerts-angel @viburnt @darkstarlight82 @kazutora-kurokawa

I love your HC's, Kat! (And welcome! We're always happy to have more of us join the ranks! ONE OF US, ONE OF US! ;))

[blosssombunnny]

𝓞𝓫𝓮𝔂 𝓜𝓮! 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓛𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝓗𝓒𝓼

Warning: Mostly fluff (a little angst in mammons kinda? Nothing too sad) but there is nsfw in very small amounts!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lucifer definitely loves acts of service. Both giving and receiving (hehe). He’s a subtle man when out with others. He will do little things for you. Opens the car door, holds your hand delicately when you walk on stairs. He will give you his coat.

“MC stop it. I’m not cold. Put it on right now.”

The only time he will ever beg you to put more clothes on ;) Of course he will love some service in return. Whether you choose to do that by straightening his collar when it’s uneven or letting him face fuck you after a really stressful day ;3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Mammon is very fond of physical touch. Sure he also loves gifts and spending time with you… but nothing beats your gentle and kind touch. Sometimes he winced just ever so slightly when you reach up to touch his face. This poor (literally lol) baby is head shy.

“Tch. Of course I didn’t flinch. Just… keep t-touching me…”

He deserves someone that will be there to give him a hug and let all of his stress melt off. Sometimes when he has his head on your shoulders, you’ll find little wet spots from his eyes. He will say it’s just allergies, but, he never feels safe enough to cry anywhere else. Sometimes it just slips out. When you notice you tell him

“Mammon. Please let it out. I will hold you until you are ready for me to let go.”

Here come the waterworks. He wont be able to hold back. Your shirt is soaked. Your sleeve is a tissue. But it’s all worth it to see him smile and know he is ready to do the same for you when you need him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Leviathan loooooooves quality time. There’s nothing he’d rather do than just curl up with you, his tv, and a stack of games. In between games, levels, etc. you will likely end up talking for an hour. He loves hearing about your experiences in the human world. If you have any cool anime or game related stories please tell him.

“Y-YOU MET THE VOICE ACTOR FROM I fell from heaven and became a shut-in, and now I’m in love with a human who is my master?!?!?!!!!?”

He’s so jealous. If you don’t like video games he might whine a little and try to find a game you would like. Saying “you just haven’t found the right game for you”. If you still don’t find anything he would be happy to watch DevilTube with you or watch a show!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Satan is another quality time lover. Ideally he would love to sit in front of a cozy fire with his love, both reading the same book. With a cat curled up on his lap if possible. If you aren’t a fan of reading he would welcome you to lay in his lap as he reads.

“MC? Would you like to do a puzzle with me?”

I don’t know he seems like a puzzle man. He likes the challenge and the methodical nature. If you don’t want to do that he would definitely have a long list of other activities to do. And if all else fails he will suggest going outside to try and capture a new pet cat.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Asmodeus of course mainly deals in physical touch. He just loves feeling your soft skin, your delicate hands. Tracing your curves and just generally needing to have some contact at all times.

“MCCCC can I style your hair? Can I paint your nails? Can I dress you up??” If you refuse, “Ohhhh you’re just being stubborn. How could I not dress up a perfect doll like you~” (not like you’d refuse anyway)

He will brush your hair and give your shoulders and neck some love too. If it tickles that’s even better. He loves to see you squirm and blush ;)

He will always hold your hand, link your arms, or have an arm around you in public. He wants everyone to see the cutest couple in the universe room :)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Beelzebub loves gift giving. Whether it’s a dainty necklace he saw that “would look so perfect on you” or a bite of his burger, this man loves showing you his love with little gifts. In his mind, he sees sharing his food as the ultimate signal of “I love you”. He doesn’t do this for anyone. Just for you. You tell him you don’t need gifts to know he loves you.

“I know… I just think about your smile and eyes… and I know it’ll look good on you… so I buy it.”

He’s a big goofy boy. A bit of a himbo in the best way possible. He looks rock hard on the outside (heh) but you can’t see how he melts inside when you smile and light up at certain things. And he gets to see that every time he offers your a bite. (Of his food of course)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Belphegor loves to give and receive endless amounts of affirmation! He needs to be reminded he is worthy of love and happiness. Most of the time the compliments he gives are in a sleepy haze. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t real. He truly means every word of it.

“Mmm-MC… You are just the most… yawn perfect pillow everrrr. Your body is perfect…”

He’ll definitely have his face buried in either your chest, shoulder, or hair.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Diavolo is definitely a close tie between quality time and affirmations. But in my humble opinion, quality time wins. Because what happens during quality time? Compliments, sweet talk, and affirmations. Hehe. He has it all planned out. He’s genuinely a very lonely character. He desperately wants to have fun with friends. Be carefree and not worry about strict schedules. But that’s not the life that was given to him.

“MC… this week was so tiring. Please, will you come to the castle tonight? I want to… see you…”

He’s always a little embarrassed to act so needy. But he loves when you indulge him a bit. Once you arrive he will immediately pull you into a hug that will last at least 30 seconds. He just takes in your scent. He will quickly pull you away to his room or office for some privacy. He will have his hands all over you once you’re alone. He just missed you so much. Once he calms down it will be a nice night of love and relaxation.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Barbatos = Acts of Service king. He always seems to know exactly what you need. If you are thinking ‘hmm. I’m a little thirsty’ he will likely ask if you need anything to drink in the next five minutes. It’s amazing.

“You must stay hydrated. I did not read your mind. I just know what’s your body needs. Sometimes even more than you do.”

Did that sound a little… weird? Ehh probably not. That’s only one of the many ways he surprises you. He loves to massage you and make you feel good. In return he loves to be babied a bit. He would absolutely never admit this. But. When you let him relax and get off his feet. He begins to relax instantly. Just hold him, let him lay on top of you. Pet his hair, tug on it gently, rub his shoulders and back. Small things like that really mean so much to him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Simeon is the affirmation master. He knows exactly how to make you blush and smile. He can always find the right words to calm you, pick you up, or just make you smile a little more.

“Are you sure you aren’t an Angel in disguise… it’s uncanny how much you resemble our kind. You even feel like one… So beautiful.”

He will always make you feel like a million dollars. In return tell him how well he’s doing. After all he is in a land that’s not his home, dealing with stressful entities all day. He needs reassured that he’s doing ok.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Solomon will always give you the most thoughtful gifts. He will take the time to find out what you like and dislikes and begin to give you the most wonderful gifts. He is conservative with how often he gives you something. Mostly because if two reasons. 1. He wants it to be more special and exciting. And 2. He’d go broke otherwise. Some of the stuff he gets you is not cheap.

“Anything for you. It’s your birthday. That only happens once a year. Of course I had to go big!”

He will wink and hold you tight against his side as your birthday party (that he organized) goes on. He just loves to spoil his cute apprentice.

————

Thank you for reading!!

[mochinomnoms]

I was thinking about differences between the land cultures of TWST vs and the aquatic because if environmental differences. Anyway some fun things I thought about you may get a kick out of:

-keeping animals like isopods and shrimps as pets (maybe a reason why Yuu is called Shrimpy). I really just want to visit the mer mafia's homes, find a chunky isopod, and just hold it and give it kisses

-the mer trio didn't know what onions were until going on land. I can see Jade or Floyd learning to cook with different ingredients and just them cutting an onion for the first time. Their faces would be hilarious. Or when they use peppers for the first time and make the mistake of rubbing their eyes. The tweels then trick Azul to have both things happen to him as well

-you know how dolphins will fuck with pufferfish to get high? I can see Floyd doing that and maybe even Jade too. They get to land and Floyd is all sad he can't get high and Jade is like "well I have mushrooms for that but you hate them so I wont-" Floyd grabbing him by the collar "GIVE ME THE DRUGS".

I feel that Floyd's hatred for mushrooms trumps any need to get high. That's alright, I’m sure Ruggie can point him to the direction of edible weeds lmaooo

Food-wise, I think I read somewhere the twins and/or Azul discussing learning how to cook with new foods on land. But I think Azul had more exposure due to his mother. For sure about the peppers tho, those seeds are the real culprits.

But yes, isopod pets!! They get so chonky and are babies, Mrs. Leech has one that she's fond of. Jade and Floyd grew up alongside the chubby shrimp which would play with them, like those cat/baby videos. Though Floyd calling you Shrimpy would then have the same implications of a person calling their crush Puppy or Kitten, so make of that what you will.

[dumbawesomev69]

Faunus evolution Arc edition

(all art from madly Mesozoic on YouTube)

River elephant

In port class he talks about Hippo faunus as he shows a video of them however jaune knew something was wrong.

Jaune: professor port, those aren't Hippo faunus they're river elephants.

Mr port: What, how can you tell?

Jaune: well..

River elephant faunus: Yeah buddy!!!

Other river elephant faunus: Yeah buddy!!!

Jaune: my great great great great grandfather was a river elephant.

Ruby: They don't seem afraid of Grimm.

Jaune: yeah did I really afraid of anything they're just very aggressive to anything whether they're grimm or not.

Fun fact: River elephants are actually elephants that evolved adapting to a Hippo lifestyle.They adapted to an omnivorous diet eating plants and crustaceans and of course they are still at threat by predators but they have shown they handle even the biggest threat.

Grazing gorgon

Snow has come to the city of Argus as saphorn arc and her wife terra arc were out with their son Adrian arc as he plays in the snow at the park.

Terra: Adrian really loves the snow.

Saphorn: yeah he does, hey let's get some hot chocolate.

Terra: yeah, wait who's going to stay and watch Adrian.

Saphorn: he'll be fine my parents left us alone many times so it's fine.

The two got up and left as their son continued to play when his little stomach growled as Adrian looked for his mother a faunus wearing a white mask picked him up and ran into the woods.

Adam looks out from the woods before turning to a white fang member. "Those two were idiots leaving their son alone now he will be an example why the White fang shouldn't be messed with."

Another white fang member approaches Adam. "Uh Adam maybe we should return the kid."

Adam: what!? Why!

The member points towards some trees which confuses him until he makes his way over and looks to see the white fang member who took Adrian dead lying in the snow.

Adam looks to see Adrian feasting in the corpse.

Adam: .....

Minutes later

Saphorn and terra return to find Adrian crawling towards them.

Saphorn: see I told you, wait is that blood.

Terra: oh no please let it be a squirrel and not another pet, we still recovering from the neighbor cat incident.

Saphorn: To be fair that pussy cat had it coming.

The two took their son home as Adam watched them leave. "Note to self make sure kid isn't a faunus killing machine."

Fun fact: grazing gorgon will actually eat carrion, eggs and small mammals to expand their diet and in some cases they will actually follow mammoths for food in some cases they will be attacked by sabertooth or other predators in which in the end the grazing Gorgon will feast upon the would be attacker.

Winter tryant

Weiss was putting makeup on when her brother walked in making her sighs. "what is it Whitley?"

Whitley: what can't a brother see her sister.

Weiss: I know you whitley what is it you want.

Whitley: I just don't get how you got yourself a boyfriend, you sure you didn't use your psychotropic pheromones.

Weiss smirks. "Of course I did once but well let's just say I learned my lesson very well~."

Before Whitley can ask the doorbell rang as weiss immediately rush down stairs as the rest of the family arrives when Weiss opened the door revealing a very tall blonde teen with two antlers on his head as Jacques eyes widen in fear while winter, Willow and Whitley all have a bright blush on there face.

Weiss: Family meet Jaune arc, my boyfriend.

Jaune: it's nice to meet you all.

Jacques finally found his voice. "Wait arc!? I know that family, they're nothing more than a bunch of fuck up bastards and sluts."

Jaune: Excuse me what was that.

Jacques: You heard me brat.

Jaune: I believe you should apologize before I do something I might regret.

Jacques: Here's your apologies!

Jacques: Oh shit

Jaune:

Jacques ran screaming as jaune chases after him leaving Weiss with the rest of her family.

Willow: so Weiss your boyfriend is something else~

Winter: indeed~

Whitley: Said Weiss are you-

Weiss: I'm willing to share with him because he is a big handful especially for my teammates.

Fun fact: winter tryants are tyrannosaurus Rex the evolve for the coldest areas of the ark and their antlers on their head help with fighting against the Charfka telepathic abilities and to flip them over.

Night wolf chimp

We found jaune looking through his family tree book with his teammates and team rwby having a good time when they get to jaune mother family which wasn't so cheerful.

Blake: uh jaune why are their pictures of random people and faunus?

Jaune: oh right, they are my mothers family slaves she doesn't talk much about her past but my mom's side weren't exactly the kindness or nicest faunus in fact it's a reason why bandits keep their fires lit at night.

Nora: jaune-jaune your family are mixed faunus so what was your mother.

Jaune: believe it or not my mother was a cross between chimp and bonobo faunus becoming the first ever hybrids.

Ren: I'm guessing they didn't have a courtship.

Jaune: from what Mom told me, the males took the females after killing the males and forced them to have children with them. Over time my mother and few others become the first hybrids to carry on their nightly raids talking villages camps and even small sediments on Islands however over time we develop a relationship with a few well the rest of the time they view them as pests. My mother was lucky enough to find my father after that she gave of her old ways and married my father and started a family.

Both teams can hear the regret in jaune voices. "Hey if it's anything, my mother is a bandit who abandon me and Ruby's father."

Jaune smiles towards yang. "A little bit but I can learn from this, we make our own future and not let our parents past get in the way."

Pyrrha: hey jaune what about your father, and his side of the family.

Jaune: uh well that's for another time.

Fun fact: night wolf chimps hunt during Dawn going after mammals, birds, lizards, bugs, terrasaurs, smaller dinosaurs, fruits and larger dinosaurs which is rare. They are known to have some relationships with other great evolve apes like kudo kubwa even assist in combat with a meal at the end of it.

[clemnchai]

Modern Ellie x blk! reader headcannons ♡

- she’s a SIMP. puts up a front but everyone knows. she’s a lover girl she can’t help it. dina and jesse make fun of her for it but she just loves you and believes you deserve to be loved outwardly. always holding your hand in public and kissing your forehead. if you’re out and you want kisses she’ll gladly provide— even if there are others around. “gimme’ kiss baby” she smushes ur cheeks together to form a cute pout and leans in to give you a multitude of wet, quick smooches.

- before you guys confessed to each other she had the biggest crush on you. everyone knew but you.

- she loves your hair. could watch you do your hair for hours even if you have oil dripping down your face and ur hairs half done. thinks you look so pretty:( if you ever want to change up your hair she’ll try her best to help and ask questions so she knows how to do it later. she watches youtube videos and studies how to do different hairstyles 😭 if you’re doing box braids she’ll literally beg to try to help. “lemme try, i’ve been practicing babe.” she says with a proud grin on her face. “oh yea? who’ve you been practicing on hm?” you looked at her with a side eye as you finish one of the last braids and prep to start a new one. “on myself and dina taught me some things too— cmon. lemme just do one.” you wanted to tell her that her and dina’s hair were different from yours but she looked so excited. when she’s finished with the braid, she looks so proud. “see, told you i could do it. you know how skilled these fingers are.” she says teasingly. “yea yea, good job baby” you say and give her a validating kiss on the cheek.

-she helps you oil your scalp while you sit in between her legs while watching a movie.

- watches dumb cartoons with you and gets weirdly invested?? loves snuggling with you at night and watching stupid tv like south park.

-dog person, but you made her a cat lover!! can just imagine her hating cats, but when she meets your kitty and sees how much you love it, she can’t not love it as well. when you first introduce her to ur cat, i can see her giving it a side eye while it just rubs and cuddles against her—eventually she cracks. now you call it you guys’ baby:(

- super emotionally intelligent and perceptive. she knows how you’re feeling before you do. loves reassuring her baby and making you feel better. if you’re feeling sad she’ll put on your favorite cartoon and stroke your hair hair to calm you down. also makes dumb jokes to make you laugh. “hey, look babe, s’its joel” she points at the screen to an old troll caricature. she looks down and grins when she sees your giggly face.

-buys you plushies and little collectibles that remind her of you:(

- most definitely a munch

-i hc ellie as a soft dom and stone top. she loves having control over you. loves that you trust her so much that you let her handle all your problems😕 her preferred way to fuck you is with her strap. she loves the way your eyes well up with tears and how sensitive u get when she fucks you. if you’re feeling extra subby, she’ll give you your favorite plushie to hold while she makes you cream all over’ her strap :(( talks you through it too. “yea, y’like that hm? like when daddy fucks you like this? only i can fuck you right.” “need you to cum for me, pretty girl. can you do that f’me?” “that’s right. good girl. my good girl.” ♡

- her favorite pet names to call you are pretty girl, babe, baby, bubs, and honey 💘

-her love language is acts of service!! need your desk built? done. hungry? food already ordered. sick? she’s running you a bath.

-can be temperamental and mean to everyone else but always so so sweet to you<3

[theverumproject]

Get To Know Me Tag!

Thank you for the tag @rivenantiqnerd!

I rambled a little too much in this one, woops.

Rules: Answer the questions because I want to get to know you better :D 

Do you have a pet?

No, but I frequently get visited by a cat that is older than I am (She's like 22 or something lol). But my mom, my sister and I have been wanting to get chickens!

Comfort food?

I don't really have one? A steak, maybe?

How many languages do you speak?

My native language is Swissgerman, so naturally I also speak High German and obviously I speak English. So let's say 2.5 languages, because the two Germans are similar, but not the same.

I wanna learn many more languages though, that includes; Romansh, Italian (we had it in school for six fucking years but I can barely speak it), French (these three are the other national languages of Switzerland), Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish, Greek, Russian, Japanese, Welsh, Old Germanic, Latin, Old English and perhaps spanish. There are just sooo many beautiful languages in the world, though I know I will probably never get past the 2.5. 

Random fact about yourself

As a kid I got so sick of radio music that I didn't listen to any songs with lyrics in them for about 2-3 years. I only listened to Dubstep, which eventually turned into only listening to Deathstep (and some robo and metalstep) for about 2 years.

One day I found a remix of the songs Psychosocial and The Devil in I by Slipknot. Slipknot was my gateway band to metal. I practically only listened to them for probably more than half a year.

And then I discovered aliencore. Aliencore is a subgenre of death metal in which, you guessed it, everything is about aliens. So I got obsessed with Rings of Saturn at first (I still mourn them deeply) and later on with Aversions Crown. So I pretty much only listened to them for probably more than half a year too.

Then I got obsessed with Behemoth and Gorogoroth for a while, that's how I began listening to black metal too. About one or two years ago I got obsessed with Ghost and only listened to them for more than half a year, AGAIN!

That was the last time I obsessed over a band. Now I just listen to a bunch of different bands and artists. I don't have a favorite band at the moment, but my favorite song is Sommer by Nargaroth. I also love Starchild by Wintersun, Fading Memories by Thy Pallor, Wieczernia by Batushka, The Sun, The Moon, The Star by Aether Realm, Million Year Summer by The Angelic Process, The Satanist by Behemoth and a bunch of Slipknot songs like Gently, Iowa, Scissors and The Virus of Life.

I really just rambled about my entire musical journey, fucking hell.

Something you’re proud of?

In my last year of school, we had to do a final project. I chose to write about how I imagined the future to look like. I researched everything to be as scientifically accurate as possible. I had a bunch of ideas for topics, and in the end I ended up with six. They were: “Can you bring artificial intelligence to life?”, “What could the future of space travel possibly look like?”, “How could the cities of the future look like?”, “Will humanity go extinct?” “What is the technological and human singularity?” and “What is my idea of transhumanism?”. (The original titles are in German).

I had a blast during the presentation, I even made somebody cry actually. I showed them a video of ChaosGPT and it actually frightened some. One girl was wiping her tears away. To me this was really funny, because I put the video on 2x speed which made the Mozart music in the background sound really funny. Imagine some evil AI planning to destroy the world, while a girl is crying as Mozart is playing at 2x speed in the background and I just stand in front of the whole class and two teachers, trying to hold my shit together.

Anyway, I got a 6 (best possible grade) for the written work, a 6 for the journal and a 5.8 for the presentation (I talked for over an hour, which was a little too long, but the rest of it was fucking great!!!), so I received a -6 for the whole project. My other teacher also gave me a 6 (It's an unofficial grade though) and the whole class had to give me a grade too, which were all 6s too!

So yeah, I did a fucking amazing job!

Tags: @teamarine777 @creative-author + open tag!

[bluestjayy]

Emotional Post/Vent under the Cut (but positive this time, I think!)

I've been suffering with chronic depression since I was about 14. I've cycled through therapy a lot, I've been on antidepressants since I was 18.

You get some good advice and you get some bad advice. And often this is also contextual to yourself. Some things that work really well for me might make other people worse, that kind of thing.

By far one of the best bits of advice I ever got was to find something to keep you alive right now. Doesn't matter how small it is. Doesn't matter if it feels silly or inconsequential, if it works, put it on a list.

A reasons to live list.

Recently as I've been in what I think might be the worst mental health state of my life this far, I started small. Really small. And I mean each reason bought me a few hours.

I can't die yet because I have to take the trash out and my roommate is too scared of the bin store to do it herself. I can't die yet because I have a food item in the fridge that will go off if I don't eat it today. I can't die yet because the youtuber I like just posted a new video so I should watch that first.

After that, you start to buy yourself days. It's I can't die yet because I kinda wanna see the Venom movie this weekend. I can't die yet because there's a new episode of my favourite show this week. I can't die yet because on Fridays we order takeout food and I'm really craving it.

Next comes weeks, and even in some cases, months. I can't die yet cause I bought the perfect Christmas present for my friend and I want to make sure she gets it. I can't die yet because I have a pre-ordered item arriving. I can't die yet because they're gonna make xyz show/movie and I want to watch it.

I can't die yet because I have unfinished stories I want to tell.

And now, I am getting to look further ahead before than I have been able to for a very long time. I'm getting to say things like, I can't die yet because I'm going to own my own place one day. I can't die yet, cause in a year or two I'm going to go to Thailand with my best friend. I can't die yet, because I want to be able to get a pet cat one day, and then I won't be able to die because they'll need me to take care of them.

It feels good, that all my small steps are adding up. It feels really overwhelming that I'm starting to see these little but very real changes in myself, that I can start to see a path to a future where I survive.

And wish I could tell many people, but specifically Jeff, Barcode, and Bible (+ the whole 4 Mins team tbh) how a lot of the time, especially in the early days - they were my reasons.

There were days I woke up and said I can't die today because Barcode has a new song I need to hear. Or I can't die today because Jeff is in concert and I'm not missing those fan cams. Week to week I would tell myself I can't die today because I need to know what the fuck is happening in 4 Minutes.

They've helped me get to the point where they're part of my much bigger goals. I can't die right now because I want to see Jeff perform live in person at least once, I can't die until we get Wuju Bakery AND Happy Ending on our screens. I can't die until Bible comes to Europe somehow.

And in all of this, if you're reading, I need to also say how this community has helped me so much. This little corner of the internet we have gathered together. So much of me waking up each day is tied to not wanting to miss the stories you write and the art you make and the meta you discuss and the GIFs and the fanvids and the brainrot. All of it. Has helped me keep going, so as much as the idol's we look up to, you're all very important to other people.

There's folk out there who think about you on their worst days and feel comfort. Who seek out your creations to soothe themselves. Who find community in your Tumblr blogs and discord servers so.

Thank you, I guess. To all of you, and of course, to the boys.

And for anyone else struggling. Find a reason. Any reason at all. Make a list, and stick with us.

The world is a better place with you in it 💛

[thecedarsights]

May I humbly request some NY hc’s?

**it’s fine if not dw**

idk if they'll be terribly interesting? but i'll try lol!

He has an affinity for all of the animals, plants, just nature related state symbols (e.g. beavers, eastern bluebird, nine-spotted ladybugs, sugar maples, etc. etc.), and probably loves learning about all of them.

He loves horses, and while he likes watching horse racing occasionally, he doesn't find the sport too terribly interesting. He probably talks about horse racing with someone like Kentucky though sometimes. He gets his mild interest in it from the horse racing in his own state (such as in places like the Saratoga Race Course as an example).

Is relatively decent at keeping plants alive, all things considered. The only person he really trusts to take care of them if he's not there is New Jersey. No one else gets to go near his plants. He likes to name them, too, sometimes.

Despite how much he makes fun of New Jersey's state nickname, he still trusts him the most when it comes to plants and gardening.

Not very original, but he has some pet pigeons.

He used to have a black cat named Void that would perch on his shoulder all the time.

Has snapped at multiple others to remind them New York state is not just the city. Sometimes though, he seems to forget this himself, much to his own dismay.

His answer on when 'upstate' starts seems to change semi-frequently, if someone asks for his personal opinions about it.

He gives Vermont Stewart's cards (gift cards you can only use in the store and those 'one free ____' ones) sometimes.

Adding on to that, he also sometimes will have a milkshake from them with him when he goes to the table. It got snatched once by Florida who then drank it and he still holds a grudge about it.

Occasionally swaps books with Washington, but will anxiously wait the entire time it is not in his possession.

There are times where he finds California extremely pathetic (can have different meanings, though. There are times where it's the 'soggy, sad kicked looking puppy' kind of pathetic or the 'you literally fucking suck, wtaf is wrong with you' kind of pathetic, among others).

Sometimes he'll make very spicy food and before he goes to eat it, walk up to others that don't like and/or can't tolerate spice and ask them to smell it, just to laugh at their reactions.

He likes playing sports. Ones he like are tennis, air hockey and volleyball, among (some very obvious) others.

He gets self conscious sometimes playing more active sports, or doing active things like running if he knows people are watching him.

He doesn't like swimming, be he does know how to.

He likes to go out into less populated parts of his state just so he can sit down and listen to nature.

He'll try to 'forage' in forests upstate sometimes, just so he find plants to take pictures and video of so he can show them to New Jersey to see if he likes them and ask what they are.

He used to skateboard because he knew it pissed other personifications off. He doesn't as much anymore, but he still has a decked out looking skateboard (it's black with things all over it. He decorated it himself and is very proud of it).

He knows multiple languages.

He finds the fact that it only snows for about a day or two in November and December in certain parts of his state now very depressing. He hates the fact sometimes it doesn't even snow until January. He doesn't like snow much, but he misses it when he doesn't see it as much as he used to.

His favorite drink is water. Cold, preferably.

He likes old/vintage stuff. He doesn't like calling them that though, because "It felt like this was the newest shit just last [speaks New York] week!".

[batb1tch]

I fucking missed his birthday but here’s a belated list of Bruce Wayne headcanons no one asked for 🫡

He’s a walking thesaurus

Begrudgingly takes the time to do general maintenance on the kids vehicles but they know it’s how he shows fatherly love

Genuinely disgruntled/confused by social media culture & language

— “Duke, what does -squints at iPhone screen- thotiana mean?”

“……im not qualified for this”

History buff. Loves the history channel & discovery channel. gets hurt on patrol & just vegges for 8+ hrs. when the painkillers kick in he starts scrutinizing & correcting the narrators. Loudly criticizes naked & afraid. Whole fam finds him unbearable (jay is the same way tho)

Enjoys rlly spicy food. Like shit that should be inedible. Prob from years of inhaling toxic gases & fumes. as embarrassing as it may be he doesn’t have much of a palette anymore. Only way to find out if something’s poisonous is the consistency/density & how it sits on his tongue.

— “clark, dare me to eat this pepper?”

“we’re literally on a different planet that thing could kill you bruce”

“I’ll take my chances”

—turns purple or something—

Total geek on vacations or nature walks, points out every creature it’s Greek name, genus, the whole shebang. Loves fossils and seashells can tell you time period of rocks & what type they are. Same with trees.

100% would blow shit up in the bat cave for “scientific research purposes”

— “it’s for the greater good Alfred”

“even the bottle rockets sir?”

“Especially the bottle rockets”

Really fucking hates the cold. Broken bones & scars ache like a bitch in rainy/snowy cold weather.

Hates taking medicine/cough syrup like a giant baby. Alfred has resorted to hiding pills & sedatives in all kinds of creative ways. Stephanie is surprisingly good at baking them into her “special” cupcakes.

wears those horrible Hawaiian shirts and slacks every time the fam goes on vacation. Looks like a walking pattern violation.

as opposite of a morning person as you could get. drinks his coffee black & cant function until he’s finished at least a cup. The longer he sleeps the longer it takes him to recover when he gets up. Pours orange juice into his cereal & that kind of shit. Most of the kids know better & leave him alone to his morning paper but Steph knows it’s the best time to get what she wants so she’ll hassle him relentlessly at the breakfast table. Morning stubble always makes a cameo

Fucking terrible at most video games. The WORST at 1st person shooters. Does enjoy racing & building games (& Skyrim for some reason)

Really good at crossword puzzles & fills them out in the newspaper when he gets the chance.

Truly is the turtleneck king (you lose a lot of heat in the neck)

Has horrible handwriting for someone who grew up with a top tier education. Drives his secretary nuts.

Has like 5 cellphones, very plug of him. nobody understands how he manages to keep track of everything. the one he uses as bruce to contact the kids is an 02 NOKIA that’s probably been to the moon and back (literally)

Very affectionate towards Alfred the cat it’s definitely that ‘dad who vehemently denies the pet/doesn’t want it & then becomes inseparable with it’ type of relationship. He may or may not sneak him friskies much to Damian’s chagrin.

—*tsk* “he’ll become obese father its irresponsible of you”

“ill feed this cat until he has to roll through my house thanks”

Has one of those fancy watches with like 1000 functions thanks to tim. It’s bulky and black looks like some sort of military electronic.

His kids call him inspector gadget.

Wears blankets around his shoulders like the cape/cowl when he’s sick.

Most certainly keeps track of and studies the colony in the cave. The kids have a theory that he has trackers and mics attached to the bats for snooping purposes. (He doesn’t but he’s not telling them that)

Has a collection of crazy socks, ties, and cuff links (mostly from tim & steph) that he wears to work when he’s feeling worn out. They are all hideous and Alfred tells him so but just a glance at some putrid yellow cotton & he already feels better.

Enjoys going to classic car shows with the kids and Alfred. everyone has an opinion if he’s made a new purchase, he pouts if the consensus is bad

Singe-handedly funded the 24/7 food truck services/entrepreneur program for the entirety of Gotham after getting his ass kicked by killer croc one night & by the grace of god & the pity of a concerned man running a taco truck was given the best meal he’s ever tasted in his life. Jay was very on board when he heard about it & actually the entire team is pretty grateful to be able to grab something delicious on the go all hours of the night

Likes to swim and going to the beach in general. One of his favorite things to do with Clark is deep sea fishing — dad shorts baseball cap and socks with sandals kind of fishing.

Contrary to his stony persona, the mans a crier. Cries when he’s sad, cries when he’s happy, cries when he yawns, cries when he laughs, cries when he’s sick, etc. etc. Sometimes tears come out when he’s upside down, he’s just got very active tear ducts 😪

Definitely has a photo of every kid in his wallet, most of them are blurry and cropped weird cause he cut them out himself but all of them are of the kids smiling or laughing. He looks at them all the time to the point that they’re worn down and faded different colors.

Has severe manic & depressive episodes. PTSD as well.

He’s ambidextrous but primarily left handed

[no-hcpe]

God I hate being alive it's literally so fucking boring.

No friends, every friend I've ever tried to make has left me eventually. Even when I try to go do things with acquaintances I barely even enjoy it, and I can tell I'm the "backup" friend who they only hang out with when they're bored. I had a club I used to go to sometimes and I actually enjoyed that, but that has been completely fucking ruined and I literally can't show my face there anymore because my partner got falsely accused of harassing someone and everyone already had a vendetta against them, so they just took it at face value. So now everyone knows me as "the retarded bitch who never talks and got cucked by a harasser".

Family is boring as fuck, they do the same thing every single day of their lives. I care about my mom but I don't understand how she has a will to live when she works a boring job with coworkers she doesn't like? Thinking about living her Sisyphean hell actually makes me nauseous. I hate her boyfriend too.

I have a partner but the relationship is complicated and kinda makes me feel like shit sometimes. I care about them but they completely smother me and it's just not going to work out. Like I like being with them, but not enough to commit to like... being in a whole ass relationship anymore. Hanging out with them is also pretty boring, they just want to watch TV with me and that's really about it.

I'm trying to finish my master's thesis but I can't finish it because ... you guessed it ... writing it is SO FUCKING BORING. I HATE the fucking topic that I got stuck with but it's way too late to change it and I just have to force myself to power through and finish it so I can just fucking be done with it already. I am so fucking bitter that I got stuck with this topic because my fucking advisors barely gave me any help when I tried to tell them I wanted to find a different one. Now I'm the one stupid bitch in my graduating class that STILL HASN'T FINISHED IT EVEN THOUGH IT'S BEEN SIX FUCKING MONTHS SINCE EVERYONE ELSE FINISHED

But after I finish it, then what? I have literally... NOTHING that I actually want to DO in life. My singular life goal was to graduate from college, and I did it, and it wasn't even that fun. The only things I kinda sorta like are listening to music, watching funny videos/shows, playing Pokemon, and petting my cat. I can't come up with a single life goal that I actually want to stay alive for. I genuinely can't fathom being alive in 10 years, and if I am alive, I can't imagine not having gone absolutely insane from pure boredom. I'll have to become an alcoholic or drug addict or something just to have something to do. Forget 10 years, I can't even imagine what my day to day life will look like the day after I finish the stupid thesis.

Food is boring. Drinks are boring. Going for a walk is boring. Using the Internet is boring. Reading is boring. Dressing up is boring. Going to bed is boring. Waking up is boring. Pacing around the house is boring. Driving is boring. Work is boring. Everything ... is just ... so ... fucking ... boring ... and pointless.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #223

Are any of your friendships on a fine line? Nope! Very grateful for that.

If I search your room, will I find birth control? No. My pills are in the kitchen with my other meds.

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats personally, other animals through videos that would circulate. I NEVER want to see a human birth, I don't even like seeing animals do it.

Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Yes, honestly. I wouldn't say always, but it definitely happens.

Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Never beyond my own yard though, haha. As kids, Dad would sometimes do it with us kids.

Are you mad right now? No.

Have you ever been on a farm? I have, briefly. We were picking up my sister from her friend's house, and she lived on a farm.

What are you listening to? I'm watching an episode of John Wolfe's Still Wakes the Deep LP.

Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger than you? Older.

If you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? Probably apples. I prefer strawberries and kiwi, but I more consistently enjoy apples.

How often do you drink Monster? I hate Monster. To be fair though, I'm not much better health-wise than Monster enjoyers, because after all, I fucking love Mountain Dew. So unhealthy it's not produced in I think the UK.

Are you short? I'm average height for a North American woman my age.

Can you ever get enough of mac ‘n’ cheese? I'm certain I could.

Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No.

Do you have trust issues? Yes, but they're not as bad as they were in the past. I also know that I tend to be maybe overly trusting towards women that appear motherly and very empathetic.

Do you think age matters in relationships? If a minor is involved, it absofuckinglutely does. Relationships with considerably large age gaps aren't for me personally, but adults can do what adults want in their own consenting relationships.

Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? My dad is remarried.

Could you go a week without brushing your teeth? ... This is fucking humiliating, but I've done this. Executive dysfunction and debilitating depression. I paid for this though, I've had intense teeth work after this neglect, and it taught me good. I'm still not where I should be in caring for myself, but by god have I made progress.

Are you usually awake at midnight? Not usually, no.

Have you ever been peer pressured to smoke pot? No. I've never really been peer pressured, but even then, I've always been very good at sticking to my guns with this kinda stuff.

Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yes, I love milk.

If you don’t have one already, would you consider getting an iPhone? No; I prefer Androids between the two.

What year were you born in? 1996.

Do you get jealous easily? Nah. I'm more prone to envy.

Have you ever done anything illegal? I've always been a person downloading shit illegally.

Do you use Twitter? No.

Who was the last person you hugged? My mom.

Do you listen to All Time Low? No.

Do you get leg cramps often? I've had a tendency lately of waking up and getting leg cramps? Especially if I stretch my leg even a smidge. It's not fun.

Have you ever met a celebrity? No.

Who was your first kiss? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend when I was 16.

What is your favourite food? I could say chocolate lmao, but that certainly doesn't count as like, real "food." My favorite *real* food is cheeseburgers, then I also like boneless hot wings and pizza and other unhealthy shit I shouldn't touch lol.

Do you use Skype? No.

Does it bother you when people have a collar turned up? The fuck should I care what people wear and how they wear it

As a kid did you like Barney, Baby Bop, or DJ more? Barney. I don't know what the other two are.

Have you been to the Bzoink Forums yet? I never had an account there, but I understand it shut down.

Have you ever pet a monkey? No.

Have you ever ridden a camel? No.

Do you like cupcakes? I do. I never knew I couldn't like cupcakes until my sister's husband made them for the kids, his are inedible to me.

Orange or lemon flavoring? Lemon.

Have you ever been to a Disney theme park? Disney World in Orlando.

Do you watch or listen to the news? No, shit's depressing.

What world issues concern you the most? A fucking lot, I don't even want to think of this right now.

Do you think that a woman can be an effective president? What a dumb fucking question.

Do you feel differently about love and sex now than you did at 17? OH YES

Would you ever join the military? Why or why not? lmfao hell no. Even if I was mentally well enough to join, I would never be fodder for the rich man's wars. They can solve their own goddamn problems without bringing violence into it. Maybe one day people in power will act like goddamn adults.

Do you or anyone you know play the violin? Not that I know of.

What is one of your favorite breakup songs? Maybe "If You Can't Hang" by Sleeping With Sirens, idk.

Are you someone who gets easily agitated by hearing someone chewing? Only if it's extremely obnoxious. Otherwise I don't tend to notice.

What's your favorite kind of oatmeal/porridge? Cinnamon apple. And it HAS to be cooked with milk, water is awful.

Have you ever ate a whole pizza in one sitting? No, at least, not a normal pizza. Maybe one of those smaller personal-sized pizzas you can get at the store.

What's something that always makes you cringe? Musicals. I wish I didn't have a cringe reaction to anything, cringe culture is so dumb.

What's something that always makes you emotional? Actually good dads. I didn't exactly get a great one.

What's your favorite pasta? Just normal spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs.

What's a social media site you have no interest in? Twitter.

Are you afraid of the dark? No.

Do you watch American Horror Story? No, I haven't for many years. I did enjoy the first season, though. Season two didn't do it for me (but I didn't finish it) and then I just didn't watch it after that.

Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? My hometown is probably way too small for that.

What’s the scariest nightmare you remember having? I have some sort of condition where I have nightmares/terrors chronically so I could list plenty, but I don't want to. I just had one a few days ago that left me bawling to my mom.

Are you medicated? I've been bouncing between psych meds since fucking middle school.

Does your family/friends have a nickname for you? I mean, "Britt," but that's my nickname from everyone. My mom always gave her kids sweets nicknames though, and mine was "Twinkie." She still uses it occasionally lol.

Who’s some of your favorite YouTubers? I don't really watch Mark anymore, but Markiplier is still my favorite of all-time, I was fucking obsessed and he's still one of my biggest inspirations as a person. I love and respect him immensely. Some that are more relevant to me today include (in no real order) Game Grumps, Snake Discovery, John Wolfe, jacksepticeye, tarantula kat, NKFherping, Gab Smolders, others.

Do you have any phobias? Pregnancy, parasites (especially internal), vomit, general social phobia, whale sharks, slugs, heights (conditional), and I'm certain there's more I'm forgetting in the moment.

Are there any scented candles in the room you’re in? No.

Pancakes or French toast? Hmmm... I love both. I certainly eat more pancakes, though. I guess it depends on what I'm feeling at the time and how well they're prepared.

Did you have anything for breakfast today? Uh... what did I eat? Cereal, I think?

Are there any apps you’re addicted to? Not addicted, no. I have apps I like, but certainly no addictions to them. I know what addictions feel like, I'd know.

Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? Yes, a moose I got from a Cabela's store in Ohio that I named Brownie. I still have him and as I redecorate my room, I think I'm gonna sit him on my bedside table since it's kinda bare right now.

Do you still collect stuffed animals? Not so much anymore, but I CERTAINLY did growing up.

How do you feel about Spongebob? I love Spongebob, it has no reason to be as funny as it is for all ages imo lol. I don't seek out watching it, but it's on sometimes when Mom and I watch my sister's kids, and I enjoy it just fine. I watched it regularly growing up.

Do you have any nervous habits? Most prominently, I wring and knead my hands together. I avoid eye contact. I stutter. I sometimes even cry just because I'm uncomfortable. After getting gauges in my ears, me tampering with these became as common as messing with my hands.

Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows? No.

What’s your favorite comfort food to eat? Comfort food, ice cream. But my true comfort edible... thing is a drink, Mountain Dew Voltage.

What’s the last movie you watched in theaters? I literally have not been to the theater since I tried watching The Black Phone. I WANT to, badly, I was desperate to see the Barbie movie but didn't get to, and now I really wanna see Inside Out 2. We're just extremely in the hole money-wise right now, going to the theater isn't on our table right now.

Do you/did you ever have a Neopets account? Yes, I fucking loved Neopets growing up. I still love the art style and even tried making an account this past year, the naming system just annoyed me too much lmao, I gave up. I don't like adding numbers n shit to character names, it's just a pet peeve.

When’s the last time you were camping? I've never actually been camping.

Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? No.

If you do drink, what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Sangrias. I only really like fruity stuff.

Are there any songs you’ve been listening to repetitively lately? I haven't been doing this too much lately, but the two I've been doing this most with lately is "Zwitter" and the full band version of "Los," both by Rammstein.

Do you have social anxiety? Severely. Severely. It's a lot more prominent offline than online, though. It is still very present online too though, especially when I'm dealing with unfamiliar people.

Have you ever had fried pickles? I have, but I don't think I've had good ones. To my memory, I wasn't impressed, and I know these are typically super adored.

Where’s your favorite place to go out to eat? Meh, depends on my mood. Most often I simply want McDonald's (I feel like I'm the only adult alive that genuinely enjoys McD's lmao), other times Bojangle's, but my favorite fast food place is actually Sonic, I'm just less often in the mood for it.

Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? I like all of these, but I definitely eat cereal the most.

[letstalkwhump]

Let’s Talk Whump No.7

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community. I’m Malice and I’ll be your host. 

Today we have @kira-the-whump-enthusiast joining us to share his whump story!

Tell us something non-whump related about yourself!

Hi I'm Kira! I'm just a guy on the internet who has something wrong with him (affectionate). Outside of whump I do a lot of regular OC stuff! Though, it always ends up angsty. I draw a shit ton, I watch video essays, and I pet my cat. He's adorable and amazing, by the way!

What does whump mean to you?

God, I don’t know man. It's when the character gets hurt and it makes me smile, I guess. For me it usually ends up being brutal torture of the physical or mental kind!

How did you discover the whump community? 

So I found the whump-culture-is blog, and I kinda skirted around the whole idea cuz I wasn't super comfortable with it yet. And then I stumbled upon Hazeshift by @whumpwillow!!! That was the story that got me into whump, it clicked a switch somewhere in my brain. And from there I started following more whump blogs, creating some OCs to whump, and eventually made a blog! Now I’m here.

It seems to be a common thread that everyone has a specific whump story that just clicked! Have you found that your whump tastes have changed over time?

I think my favorite tropes have largely stayed the same, same as my hard preference for OC over fandom. But I've gotten way more into making whumpy art lately! It's mostly on my art blog @kira-does-art-sometimes So, I haven't exactly been writing. I am still doing some though,  I'm just really bad at finishing it.

And your favourite whump tropes?

May the devil bless my soul, I am not mentally normal about any of this. 

First of all I am an avid whumper-turned-whumpee and villain whump fan. This is the Main Trope I enjoy because it is just so good. Look man, I just need to see the somewhat sympathetic (or not) bad guys get whumped and then maybe get a hug afterwards because even if they did bad shit before, they still don't exactly deserve bad things to happen to them? I dunno know, it's a bit soothing. Also god, there are so many good dynamics you would have. Reluctant caretakers, righteous whumpers, whumpees-turned-whumpers,,,, god, I am insane for this. Also the angst potential is ridiculous and I love it. 

I am also a fan of sicko shit like cannibalism and gore and vivisection. Like yes, cut that guy open and eat his organs. I will never not be normal about cannibalism and also I believe it is completely ethical if it's fully consensual. Anyways, fucked-up cannibalism is very good too. I need the people to eat each other. I need blood dripping from mouths and staining smiles. I need the faux-intimacy of feasting on another. Vivisection is also great for similar reasons. It is very Intense and Torture and I think it's fun!! You can also eat the whumpee's organs. Food for thought, pun intended! 

Glasgow smiles!I love those. I need to give more of my whumpees those. I just think it's neat and it's an alternative gag. You can't exactly talk without pain when your face has been slit open.

Immortal whump is the best. Because you can just do anything, really stretch a guy past their limits and then do it again!!! The fun never ends because they can't die, at least not permanently. Killing an immortal is underrated. And I don't mean permanently. I mean like bringing them back, again and again, and continuing the murder! Is that not fun?! 

Isolation in whump is very underrated. Solitary confinement is a form of torture after all. I think there's something very resonant for me about the simple. Lack of anything to the point that it drives you insane. The only thing making you like this are the walls cutting you off from the world. How do you explain that to people? I also like other fucked up forms of isolation like when the whumpee pretty much only interacts with the whumper or people on their side. The way that it can fuck them up is very intriguing to explore in writing I think. 

I realize this is somewhat sicko behavior. I have decided to not apologize for this. Also if the FBI is reading this, I um. I have little to no desire to do this in real life okay don't arrest me.

I think we’re all screwed if the FBI ever decides to look our way…I look forward to sharing a cell with you all! Do  you have a favourite piece you've written? 

I guess I'd definitely have to say Spirals and Solitaire is one of my better pieces!! Look. I just needed to write about a woman with depression. That's my favorite type of character. It combines a lot of my favorite tropes. A villain with angst for days being trapped in a room and slowly, slowly, going fucking insane. Getting way too attached to the only person that talks to them. And a bystander who doesn't help until it's too late. But better late than never hey? 

Also I am still a fan of Midnight Meal which is really surprising since it's like almost a year old I think? I think it holds up! I just like the cannibalism. And the gore. And I have gotten the best comments on it. Thank you to the nice people who left comments on it! Definitely my most sicko piece out of all my writing. Isaac's my favorite whumpee and this is not even the worst thing that happens to him, by the way. 

I also have this single series, Diamonds to Dust that I have definitely updated recently. I may or may not actually start writing the seventh chapter. I apologize for the radio silence on this lol. Storm and Zuri and Xavier are my beloveds. Also Lusik and Octavia are fucked up lesbians but I haven't gotten into that yet. My favourite toxic ship!

What's your writing routine like? Is there a must have drink or snack? 

My writing schedule fucking insane to be honest. Kinda goes like: 

- At a random point in time I get an idea. 

- I ruminate on the idea for an extended period of time. From like a week to a year. Average is prolly a couple months. 

- After the rumination I finally get some words on the goddamn paper! I write in fucking simplenote cuz I can access it on all my devices. 

- The words never get finished on the first day. From then it is three days to two months until I continue the goddamn thing. Or I just don't. Sometimes that happens. 

- And then the editing. Oh god. The editing. Suffice to say I hate it, I hate it, I hate it but it's necessary so I do it. Actually this takes like two weeks max cuz again. Hate it to shreds. I send it to my lovely whump friends for beta reading. I love yall!

- And then post. God help me when I do that. 

This is why I never post anything sorry about that. 

Usually I write in my very comfy bed in the evening. I don't really munch on snacks or drinks when I write.

Is there anything specific that you find easy to write?

I find that it's pretty easy for me to write characters with depression. When the character is just angsting and going through the emotional ringer, it's pretty easy for me to write stuff. Honestly that's probably how I got Spirals and Solitude finished so quickly. It's literally just like three thousand words of Wrenna having depression. I really struggle with writing like pure fluff. I dunno know,  I just find it hard to create a good conflict when it's so lighthearted.

And  do you have any current projects?

I have like a couple WIPs who are not finished yet. I may finish and post them one day. I am also always drawing. Probably of my OCs or fan art of my friend's OCs!

Bless us with some writing advice please!

You ask me??? For writing advice. Uhhhh I dunno man. Just get a little silly with it. Being Quality is overrated. Someone's probably gonna read it and get something out of it even if it's just like seven words in comic sans or whatever. Or maybe you are the one who reads it and gets something out of it! Self deprecation is overrated too. Your writing is probably fine. It is probably even good. Likely, it is even great and amazing! 

Shoutouts?

Huge shout out to @whump-in-the-closet for being extremely cool and having the best OCs and writing. And also listening to my little sicko OC rants!

@whumpcloud has literally some of the best whump stories I've ever read like god! I go feral for their characters. 

@zillastar13 has extremely amazing writing and very good taste. Love their art!

Anything you'd like to add? <3

Lowkey I think we as a community need more transgender characters. In any role. I just need to see more guys who are transgender. Who get a little funky with their gender. Who maybe even have their transsexuality impact the story in some way. Same for like, characters of color and female characters. I'd love to see whumpees with lots of different backstories and female characters in lots of different roles in the narrative. I personally don't think that the violence that women and minorities face in real life necessarily has to be analogous to the violence faced by a character in a story. I know it can go very badly but it can get a little tiring sometimes to only find stories with cis white male characters. Variety pls.

It was awesome to have you here, Kira! Thanks for stopping by!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[msviolacea]

Random Baldur's Gate 3 Tips

I've been watching/revisiting a bunch of YouTube videos about BG3 this week, as I'm neck-deep in my second full playthrough, and decided to compile some of my favorite random tips I've gleaned from them.

Don't sleep on hirelings. When you get to the point where you can spare the money to hire and possibly respec them, you can hire one at the start of your day to cast all the random buffs you want to have on your party, including things like Heroes Feast at higher levels. That way you don't have to waste any of your actual party's spell slots.

Related - Longstrider, Speak With Animals, and Speak With Dead can all be cast as rituals out of combat, so you won't lose spell slots casting them.

Also, always use Speak With Animals and Speak With Dead whenever possible, especially if you're a nerd who likes story and lore context. Or you just like to pet cats.

Traders restock their restockable items (potions, alchemy ingredients, etc) after you level up a character, so if you buy someone out and want to restock immediately, go back to camp and grab a companion you haven't leveled, or hire a hireling and level them. If you have someone who needs multiple levels, you can go buy the trader out in between each level!

Minor Illusion is a higher tier spell than you think, because you can cast it and it will draw the attention of all the people in the area, so you can either a) attack a bunch of enemies with an AOE at once or b) steal everything that isn't nailed down while they're distracted.

For those in the first act: don't start murdering at the Goblin Camp until you've either talked to or pickpocketed from both of the available traders! There's one in the courtyard by Volo, and a halfling Zhentarim trader up by the priestess's room. They both have some really good unique equipment you won't be able to get if you kill them. Same goes for Moonrise Towers in Act 2, though I was dumb enough to miss all of those in the last playthrough, so I don't have the neat list of everyone.

You do NOT have to keep your camp supply food in your bag! Send it all back to camp, and ignore the warning you get when you go for a long rest that says you don't have enough. When you actually go to do the long rest, it will show you everything in your camp chest to choose from.

You get more out of poison and other weapon coatings if you throw them on the ground than if you just coat them on your weapon directly. On the ground, your whole party can dip, and it will persist so you can re-dip if necessary. I saw a tip that said you can even throw one at camp and it will last overnight, but I don't know how long the puddle will last overall, or if it depends based on where your camp is.

If you use a ranged weapon, switch your weapon set so your character is holding their melee weapon before you end your turn. That's the only way they'll get an opportunity attack if an enemy passes by!

Mage Hand counts as an ally for abilities like Sneak Attack!

If you have a cleric high enough level to get divine intervention, it might be worth using the version that gives you a weapon, that one will heal everyone in your party for 1-4 hit points every turn.

Even if you decide to tell the racist lady in the mountain pass to fuck off - or give her an owlbear egg instead - definitely grab the Githyanki egg in the monastery and keep it until the end of the game. It'll result in a very nice addition to the epilogues.

If you have any more, feel free to reblog and add your own!