#even the difference when I rb other peoples art make me so sad

[knucklestheenchilada]

I think I don’t want to draw fandom stuff anymore

[thefairyletters]

I saw you rb a SaiSaku post and was curious if you had any fanfic recs for this rarepair?!

Do I have?!!!!! I am currently binging this ship so you couldn't have asked this at better time.

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This pair is not a crack ship! Crack would mean they have not shared more than two words with each other. But SaiSaku interactions always bordered on romance and best friends who don't act like it. Not only Sakura was the first person to acknowledge Sai had human side to him and bonded with him over his painting, Sai was also the only person outside Sasuke (in part 1) to be able tell her fake smiles and he always understood her feelings better than other characters. Had Sakura ever only cared for good looks (something she don't) then with Sai she'd get that and so much more.

I have always considered SaiSaku as the next best thing after NaruSaku. They had too much potential as a couple. I am not bitter that InoSai became a thing but looking at them I only feel that "Ino didn't get Sasuke so she get his look-alike." Besides, Sai gave people nicknames that are opposites to what actually feels about them – Naruto as Dickless, Sakura as Hag/Ugly and Ino as Beautiful – which makes it worse. Both Ino and Sai deserve better than this. If Kishi has shown them together more often or had interactions between them similar to SaiSaku then I can understand why Ino is his light. I guess it is also SP's fault for showing them in different light. For all SP hates Sakura, they enjoy messing up with her fans by feeding them false hope.

Whenever I want to read something hilarious but deep, SaiSaku is my to-go couple. Usually angsty, or full bout of insults and punches. There's no in between with them.

. SaiSaku .

This list contains my favorite SaiSaku collection. I am not sure if you like SaiSaku only as romance ship but this list also contain stories that expands on SaiSaku friendship, something I absolutely adore.

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Could Roses Bloom? : RiseoftheBlossom || M || AO3 || Shippuden AU || GaaSaku, SaiSaku || Angst, Romance || Ongoing

Sai glanced downwards at his body, the sudden override of his thoughts causing his mind to blank. What did that mean? Had he been straying too close to a piece of information Danzo didn't want him to have or share? Or was it his mind's natural response to shutting down any form of emotion, even if it was just the slightest of inclination towards feeling something?

Go for it if you like: enemies-to-friends-to-lovers troupe, SaiSaku friendship, confused-over-his-feelings!Sai, slow burn, GaaSaku, boys who are bad at feelings, Sakura who is unlucky with romance, angst with fluff

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hello, bright eyes (been waiting on you) : mouseymightymarvellous || T || AO3 || Shippuden AU || SaiSaku || Angst, Romance || One Shot

“look underneath the underneath,” except no one has ever really bothered to look at sakura and see her. and then there is a boy (isn’t there always). maybe they’re both just ghosts, making each other real.

Go for it if you like: enemies-to-friends-to-lovers troupe, confused-over-her-feelings!Sakura, boys who are bad at feelings, Sakura who is unlucky with romance, Sai and Sakura who don't feel like they belong, angst with fluff, sad!Sai

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Oh God That’s Heaven : blueberrysconesandfolkmusic || T || AO3 || Shippuden AU || SaiSaku || Angst, Romance || One Shot

Sakura finds Sai sick, alone, and in desperate need of a hand that doesn't hurt.

Go for it if you like: boys who are bad at feelings, bleeding-heart!Sakura, sad-and-lonely!Sai, Sai and Sakura who are secretly best friends, Sai with PTSD, protective!team7

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for everything blue and bright : sinemoras09 || M || AO3 || Shippuden AU || SaiSaku, SasuSaku || Angst || One Shot

The five stages of human arousal.

Go for it if you like: lonely!Sai, obsessed!Sakura, One-sided love, Unrequited-love-no-matter-how-you-look-at-it!SaiSaku, no-good-very-bad!Ending, pining!Sai, bittersweet lemon

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A mess of me : Dovey || M || AO3 || Pre-Shippuden AU || SaiSaku || Yandere Romance || Complete

In which Sai is a good ANBU agent with an unusual hobby, and Sakura grows up with a #1 fan rooting for her....even if she doesn't know it. Or: Sai starts stalking Sakura when they're both young to satisfy his curiousity about 'normalcy', gets attached, and eventually gets very frustrated that nobody else seems to notice her potential as a shinobi and takes matters into his own hands- and delights in being Sakura's prime source of validation because of it.

Go for it if you like: obsessed!Sai, manipulation, stalker!Sai, mentor!Sai, SaiSaku friendship, distraught!Kakashi, fluff, baby-Sai-stalking-baby-Sakura, abusive haruno household

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There is sunshine on his forehead : amako || T || AO3 || Soulmate AU || SaiSaku but it's complicated || Angst, Hurt/Comfort || One Shot

Sakura is only three when she promises herself that Sasuke will die by her hand, whoever he is.

Go for it if you like: dysfunctional Team 7, Soulmate AU, Unrequited love feels, angst heavy, Sai and Sakura only want to belong, NaruSasu, NaruSaku but not really, betrayal heavy, no fluff only pain, SaiSaku, Team 7 taking Sakura for granted, Sakura is so done

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In theory : nimblnymph || T || FFN || Shippuden || SaiSaku || Romance, Humor || One Shot

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Sai was about to learn that this theory applied to more than just physics. And that putting theory into practice sometimes gave unexpected results.

Go for it if you like: oblivious!Sai, teacher!Sakura, student!Sai, Sai getting educated, Sakura educating Sai, Kisses, Sai being Sai, Sakura with patience of god

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Loathing : i AM the Random Idiot || T || FFN || Shippuden || SaiSaku || Romance, Angst || One Shot

Define "hatred."

Go for it if you like: oblivious!Sai, hurt!Sai, Angst, Onions, SakuSai bonding over mutual hate, love is overrated anyway

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Bunk Mates : ice bitten || T || FFN || Shippuden || Team 7 || Humor, Friendship || One Shot

In which Sasuke and Naruto find out Sakura has been sleeping over at Sai's. Short stories surrounding Sakura, Sai, and the invasive people of Konoha.

Go for it if you like: sassy!Sai, protective!Team7, SaiSaku friendship, roommates, Sai being Sai, Perfect characterisation, Canon feels

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Paint me with Colour : PeregrineFlight || T || FFN || post-Shippuden || SaiSaku|| Humor, Friendship || Incomplete

Sai and Sakura must travel to the Land of Lightning to retrieve something for the Daimyo, they have to travel as a married couple. Much to Naruto's amusement.

Go for it if you like: lonely!Sai, SaiSaku friendship, roommates, Sai being Sai, pretend marriage, SaiSaku bonding over mission, fluffy angst, adorable!Sai

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Forget Me Not : Joy-girl || T || FFN || post-Shippuden || Team 7 || Angst, Friendship || Complete

Sometimes it's easy to forget how important someone is when the person is always in the background – but Sakura's boys still remember. Glimpses of her importance from each member of her team.

Go for it if you like: fluffy angst, Sakura's place in team 7, underappreciated Sakura, Team7 family, Family feels, sad!Sakura, protective!Team7 males, Sakura appreciation, SaiSaku bond, Team7Saku feels, avenger!Teammates

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Add Me Colour : Cella N || T || FFN || post-Shippuden || SaiSaku || Drama, Romance || Complete

"All my life is white. Paint me. Add me colour."

Go for it if you like: lonely!Sakura, Sai being Sai, confused!Sakura, angst, poetic translation, colors

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Euphemisms : Nymbis || T || FFN || Shippuden || SaiSaku || Humor, Romance || Complete(?)

Drabbles about Sai, Sakura, and their strange attempts at bonding.

Go for it if you like: Sai being Sai, Sakura being Sakura, Hilarious friendships, SaiSaku friendship, loveggression, love-hate relationship, Insults, Sai's brand of humor, fluff with punches, Raunchy stuff

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Ricochet : Strix 4 || T || FFN || Shippuden AU || Team 7 || Family, Drama || Complete(?)

Sometimes it's easy to see the familiar in the faces around you. Sometimes it sucks to figure out why.

Go for it if you like: fluffy angst, Sakura's place in team 7, Team7 as family, Family feels, wise!Sakura, SaiSaku bond, Sai's place in team 7

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Pick up lines : Demoneyes 14 || T || FFN || Shippuden || SaiSaku || Humor || One Shot

Ero sennin's pick up lines! Guaranteed to get the girl or your money back! Well... it would be more guaranteed if it hadn't fallen on his face in the library, but heck, Sai will try anything once! Maybe it will save him a beating from Sakura...

Go for it if you like: Sai being Sai, Sakura being Sakura, SaiSaku friendship, loveggression, love-hate relationship, Insults, Sai's brand of humor, fluff with punches

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Special mentions...

Study of the Heart : teresa

In an effort to become a better friend, Sai undertakes a study of love, not really understanding how difficult it could be, and how surprising.

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The Blood of a Cherry Blossom : Slytherin Kunoichi

Originally, for Halloween, Sai hadn't decided what to go as, but once he glimpsed at the bleeding flesh on Sakura's neck, he suddenly had the urge to be a vampire…

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Old Dogs, New Tricks : yuugiri

After an unprecedented turn of events, the Fifth Hokage has officially assigned Sakura Haruno the responsibility to make Sai recover what he had lost; his emotions. With a time limit of a month, will Sakura succeed in this mission?

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Once More, With Feeling : Cynchick

Sakura didn't know what she was thinking when she showed up on his doorstep. 

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Ink Me : Krickitat

Exploring the art of bod-modification Sakura takes a step into the unknown world of the exquisite pain of art.

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The Uchiha Secret : Slytherin Kunoichi

Sasuke froze as he stared at Sai's eyes, which were identical to his Uchiha Sharingan eyes now: red with anger and black with hatred...One family secret could threaten and shake three lives forever. Bonds will be broken.

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My babies don't get enough love in the world.

[enden-k]

hi youn you don't really know me but i just wanted to say your tags on that most recent reblog of the "reblog art posts you like" post are so real and i really appreciate you taking the time to write all of that. i'm a hobbyist content creator myself (i do it for myself + my close friends) but i've never really posted anything online because i worry about basically exactly that kind of thing. especially with my ocs. i don't think i'm capable of making myself not look at the notes, the one time i made a text post it somehow got like 60 likes and 5 reblogs and from that other post you reblogged that looks actually pretty generous which is horrifying to me.

anyway um thank you. as someone who regularly puts effort into running their mouth in the tags of art+writing posts (and has gotten multiple dms thanking me for doing so, actually!) and is too afraid to post on this site, i really really agree that reblogs and especially heartfelt tags make such a difference, and the situation here on tumblr is really discouraging to active creators and to new/silent creators as well. like current creators getting fed up and leaving is a big concern obviously but there is also already content being missed before it's even posted. and i would be really surprised if that weren't the case for many other young creators that just decided to keep their ideas to themselves because of all this.

i know personally when I see this happening to artists (including writers) that i really look up to what it really feels like is just that fandom is dying. like it's just a small handful of content creators here holding each other up (the majority of that handful of reblogs) and everyone else is probably on some kind of a mindless content scroll. likes to me are like a little hand wave, like a "hey I saw this thing!" marker, but reblogs are like taking a picture of it, going "hey I like this!" or "i want to see this again!" and it feels kind of weird to see swarms of people just kind of giving a little thumbs up/wave/brief nod to something they theoretically like.

sorry this got so long!!! i just really appreciated your post and i had a few thoughts and then i wrote a whole wall.. (also no pressure to post this (though it's also ok if you do)! mostly wanted to let you know that post meant a lot to me)

hi, dont apologise or worry about the length of this message! its all fine!

i forgot to mention it in the rb tags and my post earlier but YES. yes exactly, reblogs esp with tags on it, ppl gushing or talking about the creation they rb is always the best thing for a creator. this can literally make our days, i have messages and tags saved for whenever i feel unhappy about my stuff so i can look them up again! it really means a lot, so not only do you show your love and support to the creator and their work by rb, it can also make us so so happy to see you talk about it

and yes, its really really hard for new/starting creators to post here, bc of this issue. as well as for OCs!!! thats mostly why i also keep my OCs away and just do fanart bc honestly, i think this would actually sadden me so i dont want that. and knowing that many people do that too is very sad bc theres so much stuff people wanna show but dont dare bc they feel like no ones gonna look anw. so much creativity and wonderful works, kept hidden/unposted or not appreciated enough, its really saddening

anw, same thoughts honestly. thanks sm for the message!

lets keep creations, no matter if art or writing, fanwork or OCs, alive by actually reblogging it instead of just mindlessly liking it; lets give new/starting people a chance to show their work

[botwstoriesandsuch]

[Image ID: A screenshot of an anon asking saying “I just wanna say that your tags whenever you rb art and fics are so cute 🥺 you reblogged something of mine the other day and the tags were just so nice and innocent??? It’s like watching a little kid at an aquarium 😝so as an artist I thank you, hope you don’t take it as cringy” End ID]

- - - - - 

Cringey?? nonononono I may be a young kid watching the pretty fish swim aimlessly in the aquarium but I will

recklessly enjoy other people’s content don’t test me

I try to keep it in the tags cause I don’t wanna take away from the op’s original work, plus it makes it easier for other people to rb it from me, but I will amp up the love and appreciation when the situation calls for it. You could straight up come into my inbox or messages and just ask me to give you a reblog and I will do it, I do not care I love you, content creators.

Cringe Culture is dead it’s time to gush plus if I do this often enough people might do it more for me so it’s a win win hehe

Legit, I got a super sweet comment on one of my fics quoting something I wrote and it made me so happy so I was like “huh, guess I’ll do that more often then” and now I’m doing that, that’s how impressionable I am asdfghjk

Also hello?? specifically *my* tags helped you out?? I am a nobody, CLEARLY not enough people are doing this smh, allow me to teach the masses for a sec here

How To Make A Content Creator Happy: the world’s simplest guide to spreading serotonin through a keyboard

Step fucking one) You reblog it. I mean, that’s a given. You’ve all seen those “reblogs help creators out and likes do nothing” posts so I won’t rant too much. Likes are good, but reblogs are like handing someone a stack of a hundred dollars and all it takes is one click! 

(PRO TIP: Hold down the button and swipe for mobile, and hold the left alt button and click once for computer [though it will only rb to your main blog. if you want it for a side-blog then you’re stuck with two clicks but HEY two clicks to help out a creator you like is nothing!])

You share it! Just share stuff. Share the ao3 like, please do it. Don’t repost, don’t just mention it, give the links especially when you’re just in conversation or talking about it around plz I swear it does wonders

Ok moving on to the super simple stuff for commenting and putting stuff in the tags because I guarantee that the op will read them

write A N Y T H I N G and I literally mean anything just fucking:

!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sdjflksdjfkjh

?!?!?!?!!?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghghhhhhhhhh

:OOOOOOOOO

prettyyy

<33333333333333333

just fucking go ham, go nuts, it doesn’t need to be coherent it just needs to EXIST the very existence of someone enjoying someone’s content gives so much serotonin so stop being silent cowards and give us a smiley face from time to time

uh what else what else....hmm [golden rule is treat others the way you want to be treated, so if you’re a creator yourself, just give whatever you would want seen in the comments of your stuff! I mean that’s how I came up with all this...]

Point out the details! I mentioned earlier about quoting stuff from fics (that stuff is just 👌👌👌 so delicious) but I’m pretty sure (I’m not an artist myself don’t quote me) that the exact same effect is present when you talk about details in art or something. So talk about that pretty snowflake in the background! Or that piece of dialogue that made you laugh. Just a simple nod to the details is a big difference between saying “I like this” versus “I like this thing that you took the time to make the effort you put into the details did not go unnoticed”

just ALL the feedback please and thank you

this might vary from person to person, though personally I love when people are like “The way you write imagery is so good please do more!!” so just give a little nod to someone like “The way you draw this character is amazing please do more” or something like that

I wouldn’t go as far as to give criticism (although personally I’m the type of person that loves the occasionally critique for future reference, cause it means that you care as much as I do about the quality of my work) 

But along the same lines as the details thing, a nice nod to a creator about what they’re doing right is sooooo good! makes the butterflies flutter

                ~~~~~~Did that post give you emotions?~~~~~~

   G   O   O   D

 ~~FUCKING TELL US~~

THE ACT OF SOMEONE WRITING A SET OF LETTERS, OR SOMEONE SKETCHING A BLOB MADE ANOTHER DISTANT HUMAN BEING DEVELOP CHEMICALS IN THEIR BRAIN?? SURE WOULD LOVE TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE WOW THAT’S AMAZING!?!??

just go “I’m so happy” or “I’m so sad” just “TT__TT” just fucking “:OO” or just “I hate this” [HUMOURISTICALLY] and “I can’t believe you’ve done” just give it yes tell us the emotion that you have felt we love it

I don’t think enough people understand how amazing that is???? You were once in a normal, neutral state, and then a piece of content that I created just made you smile or laugh or cry like WHAT that’s amazing omg

Ok so that’s pretty much the simple stuff right, that’s your elementary classwork right there

Just give something, literally anything and just go “I love this so much!!!!!” bam done, you just murdered the op with your love, great job

So yeah, that’s that. Pretty simple stuff, no?

...but you wanna graduate to master class?

You wanna fucking go ape shit

you wanna just

g o    t o    town?

I said this was gonna be a simple guide so don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell you that you have to write a full length essay on every post that you come across

[BUT IF YOU WANT TO DON’T LET ME STOP YOU THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE AMAZING?? HELL WRITING OUT A PARAGRAPH OF A COMMENT IS ALREADY JUST *CHEFS KISS* MASTERCLASS OF MURDERING THE OP WITH LOVE JUST ANALYZING THE SHIT OUT OF THE COLORS AND SHADING AND FRAMING OR JUST POINTING OUT THE THEMES AND SUBTEXT AND CHARACTERIZATION --part of the reason I love betaing stuff so much because I can analyze shit and shower it with premature love while also helping fics to be even better than they were originally ugh so cleansing for my literature heart-- SO YEAH GIVE CREATORS A PARAGRAPH, DARE I DREAM OF PARAGRAPHS, BECAUSE WOW YES PLEASE YES]

...ahem anyway

the way to graduate from good to great as a receiver of content is

to do all this

any of this

any of this simple stupid amazing shit

and just

put it in an ask or message

that’s literally it

Let me tell you why that’s so amazing, it pumps up the already amazing dopamine dosage of these actions alone, and multiplies it by a hundred, let me tell you why

Let’s say you read a drabble. You loved it, you reblogged it, you gave it hearts and emojis and ranted for a few tags about how it made you drop your muffin on the ground. Fantastic work, you just made the op pass out.

Then you go about your day and that’s the end of that.

BUT

if you do all that

and then put it in an ASK

dare you even a direct message?? (probably not most of us on here are cowards I get that)

but an ASK, anon or otherwise?

The message you just sent to the op was “I interacted with the post you made, and I loved it so much that I went the extra mile of going to your blog to make extra extra sure you understand how much I liked your thing”

There’s a wordless wall with every post! You like and reblog the thing and move on with your day. 

But the fact that YOU sent a HEART a SINGLE sentence about how you liked a thing? the fact that you BREACHED that wall and just fucking keyboard smashed in the inbox? the fact that you did that is the most amazing thing in the world

you just ambush the op with good vibes. we were expecting the bare minimum in the comments and tags, but the fact you when out of your way to make it a message or ask???? superb, outstanding, the sheer SHOCK of it will shift tectonic plates

you’re my fucking hero if you do this. you’re a godsend. I would kill for you,👏people👏would👏kill👏for👏you.

AT LEAST THEY WOULD KILL FOR YOU IF THIS ACTION DIDN’T ALREADY MURDER THEM

BE A MURDERER, NAY, A SERIAL KILLER. MURDER CONTENT CREATORS WITH LOVE

BE RECKLESSLY KIND AND LOVING YOU PIECE OF SHIT, ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE CRINGY TO STARVING AND DYING WRITERS AND ARTISTS WE WILL TAKE IT ALL GOD DAMMIT

YOU ARE A CHILD STARING UP AT AN AQUARIUM IN WONDER.

MAKE YOUR HAPPINESS STIR THE TIDES, LET YOUR PRESCENCE BE KNOWN PAST THE REFLECTION OF THE GLASS.

THE FISH ARE LOOKING FOR YOUR SMILE. 

[annetteblog]

Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?  

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

                                       /as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

                                                    Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 

P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha

[joeyloganho]

I'm On a Losing Streak (Milo x Victor)

(A/N: I can 100% guarantee that this is NOT as angsty as the title seems to say it is. This is a sort of ORIGIN STORY of Milo x Victor. Like, it's super cute. I promise! Maybe like a sad moment once but it's not like ALL SAD. so please, enjoy this cute little story about Milo and Victor before they were dating, leading up to the dating starting!)

Genre: Fluff, soft, pure, wholesome.

Word count: 796

Pairing: Milo x Victor

AU: This is a more modern setting so...yeah

OK TO RB

~

He usually arrived almost as soon as the museum opened. Sometimes he waited outside the doors, drawing in a sketchbook, writing notes in various languages, or even texting a friend or three. This morning was no different. Victor was outside sitting on the steps, about 45 minutes before the museum opened that day, writing a journal entry in Hungarian. People sometimes wondered if this guy had anything better to do than to spend his whole day at the museum. Did he even have a life? Did he have friends? Did he have family? He had just moved to D.C. just months ago, and now he spent his days at the museum. Sure, he could've spent his days doing worse, but some of the workers there wondered what was up.

Milo, on the other hand, didn't think too poorly of Victor being there everyday. In fact, he rather enjoyed seeing the man. He knew that he was developing a crush on the museum-goer, but he tried to push that thought aside as he was making his way to work. He wondered if Victor thought the same way about him. Milo liked his glasses, and how he was taller than him, and his nose, and his smile...His taste in music, their shared interests in linguistics...The cute way he clicked his pen before writing notes, his hands...His hands. Gosh his hands! "Stop it!" Milo mumbled to himself. But gosh, he just wanted to hold his hand. What he'd do just to have Victor hold him and tell him he was pretty and brush his thumb over his cheek, over his lips-

"Morning, Milo!"

"GAH! ...oh..." Milo yelps, suddenly out of his daydream. He's standing just a few feet from Victor, who sits on the steps, closing his notebook. "Oh, h-hi Victor. H-how are you this morning? It's going to rain soon. I think. It looks like it, anyway..." He says, realizing he's rambling already.

Victor looks up at the sky, noting the grey clouds that filled the horizon. "Mhm. Looks like it." He said, standing up, watching Milo walk up onto the step he was on. Milo looked up at Victor and smiled, adjusting his glasses.

"Where are you going to today?" Milo asked with grin. Victor shrugged, following him up the rest of steps and into the building.

"I'm not sure. Sweden? Norway? Finland? Somewhere up there." Victor told him.

"Back on your Scandinavian kick?" Milo chuckles.

"Ja, antar jag." Victor replies. "I've just been studying Fossegrimmen."

"Really? Interesting...I think we have some stuff on that myth, if you're interested of course! I can look it up for you..." Milo tells him.

"That'd be cool." Victor replies, looking at a piece of art. "Huh I didn't know that was by a French artist. Neat."

Milo smiles softly at him. He watches him write notes down about the piece of art, presumably the artist's nationality. He noted that Victor's handwriting was messy, scribbled down quickly as though he was in a hurry to get the words out of his head onto paper. He bit his lip while he wrote and squinted at the page. He clicked the pen a few times before putting it back in the pencil holder on the notebook. Milo noted that the pencil holder was makeshift, super glued onto the notebook so that it would go nowhere.

Victor looked over at Milo, who was still looking at him dreamily. He quickly came to, noticing Victor's eyes meeting his. "You alright?" Victor asked.

"Yeah! Yeah...yeah...I'm ok. Are you ok? I'm good." Milo smiled, putting his hand on his chest, realizing his heart was beating rapidly.

Truth be told, so was Victor's. He noticed when Milo looked at him like he just was. It made Victor happy. He thought Milo was cute, very cute. Handsome, pretty even. But as they stood in silence, people passing them and looking as though they were part of the art displays, Victor sighed.

"Look, I have to ask you something..." Victor said a bit quietly. Milo's heart skipped a beat. Oh no, he messed up. He made him uncomfortable didn't he? Oh no... "Do you wanna see a movie with me? They're having a classics night at the theater near my apartment and I thought you'd maybe like to go." Victor asked rather quickly. He wasn't sure if Milo understood him, he spoke so fast.

Milo felt himself melting. His knees felt weak. His heart was going faster than it was before. "Oh...Oh wow...Like a date?" Milo said before he could even think about what he was saying. Victor raised an eyebrow.

"Sure. It's a date." Victor smiled softly. Milo knew it now, his losing streak was over. He just knew it.

[snakeningel]

not to be starting homestuck race disk horse in 2019 but yknow what? I Will.

being an asian fan in the hs fandom is kinda, not great actually. in fact, it not only feels like we’re not here at all, that we’re erased, but its honestly? downright harmful. people treat the trivialization and fetishization of your culture to be,,, like a Big Joak. yall joke about weebs like these people havent been literally grooming and abusing asian girls, like we havent been made fun of enough for Their actions, like we aren't already viewed as the strange punchlines to jokes that still seem somehow acceptable. its somehow funny to joke about how you hate every sign of asian culture that shows up throughout the comics, like how dirk’s kotatsu was dumb and pretentious as if people in japan dont literally live with one and use it every single day!

even asian-coding in characters get swept away in favour of other headcanons. even the megidos, who are as close to canonically asian as they possibly can be in a medium like homestuck, are often drawn white or something completely different altogether. the stridlondes are also heavily asian-coded, and the fans who do pick up on that, who finally feel comforted by someone like them as protagonists? they often just.. give up on that, because they see so little representation in the fandom. (theres only like one popular artist i know of that draws the strilondes asian? but like, hats off to u pal, youre fighting the good fight). also, it seems strange, to be represented so little considering almost 3 billion people on earth is asian, which is, Quite A Lot to be not represented a lot. dont get me wrong, i adore the outpouring of more diverse art of the kids, but a hard truth to swallow is that pocs being weebs/fetishizing asian culture, is just as harmful as white people doing the same. there is a world of difference between japanese dirk, trying to interface with his lost culture by clinging to the most performative and popular parts of it, than another dirk, appropriating people’s cultures because he thinks its funny or interesting based off a show he watched once. i love how people are like "wow the striders like anime and care about traditions and use japanese words and overall just seem like diaspora kids" and the conclusion they draw from that is "clearly,, they cannot be asian" bc a non-asian person being interested in those things is better than an asian person whose interested in their own culture i guess??

in fact, a lot of these narratives are so much more interesting once theyre looked at through their coded lenses!

Dave’s struggle with coming to terms with his emotions strikes such an interesting chord when the striders’ concept of irony and never showing their emotions Correspond so well to the idea of honour/face, where youre not supposed to show that youre Ever Sad or anything that isnt a positive emotion because it shows that youre a Failure and You Failed and that makes you a Bad Person, which is exactly what dave struggles with because hes So Guilty about it, which ties to the guilt and shame a lot of asian people feel about not being able to live up to impossible standards set by their parents, which is another theme we see reflected in all four strilondes. 

rose’s strained relations with her mother are mirrored in so many of our second-generation lives and makes so much more cultural sense when looked at that way. the weird distance you hold from your parents, where you cant look each other in the eyes anymore, because every interaction feels more like a business transaction. you hand in your good grades and praise from teachers, talking about how mature you are, and they return with some present or gift that you don't really want. you dont know anything about them, and they dont know anything about you, Not the person you Actually Are, anyways. but there is a yearning, to be close, to know eachother, but you only feel it in return when its too late. as well as her Obsession to be mature, to be smart and adult-like because thats what shes praised for, because you Need to be academically the best always and that means reading dictionaries until the sun goes down, repeating each word until they are engraved into your mind. always finding competition, subtle or not, because if you are not the winner, what are you?  dirk’s wild performative love of japanese culture (which also, in turn, lead to non-asian fans literally trashing it like it was a funny joke to call someone’s culture lame and stupid) seems like ‘ironic’ weebism, but its also being Exactly the type of over-the-too performative reclaiming of our culture that so many asian diaspora kids do when they’re teens! they feel bad about pushing away their culture as youth, but they’re not quite mature enough to actually care about the rich history and ‘boring’ parts, so they cling to pop culture, to social media and something so much more easily consumable, like anime. which is not even to mention the idea of him trying desperately to connect to a culture that he has never grown up in, but still belonged to by consuming mass amounts of media, being Such an immigrant story. as well as his massive competitive streak and need to make other people as good as he is (but not better), is the type of internalized pressure that a lot of asian kids feel as well. 

and all the stridlondes have various anxieties about not performing well enough, of not living up to a standard that they have set for themselves, feeling like even a single step back or even one mistake is a catastrophic failure that’s branded to you for life. Which is just as much of a mental health thing as it is like,,, an asian thing

this is getting really long so im cutting myself off here but please if you want to hear more about my Thoughts and Hot Takes feel free to shoot me an ask. 

in conclusion: please treat asian people better hs fandom i literally beg you. like,, im Not tryna make waves but,, asian erasure in fandom is a huge issue and no one ever talks abt it!! dont trivialize, fetishize and erase cultures blease  big thanks to @ernikerr and @wyndryga for encouraging me to go Off and helping to write this.

anyone please feel free to rb but non-asian people please watch your mouth

[facultyloungecosplay]

Hey I’m the anon from yesterday and *sigh* I think I figured something else and I feel really bad about it. So I have good ideas when I’m not sad but they just don’t turn to reality as easily, that’s to say I can’t put them into words where when I’m usually sad or at least melancholic my hands just work on their own that’s my problem with consistency... well with inconsistency. My new problem is kinda disgusting... I like being praised? Let me explain quite a few months ago powered by some horrible things that didn’t even affect me directly (I don’t want to get into it, it’s still sore let’s just say parasocial relationships were disgustingly abused) and I not even really wanting too make something I made some of the best poems in my life... I shared on anon with another blog and they loved it they thought it was beautiful and I remembered the other times I sent random blogs anonymous poems when I was drunk or something and how they liked it so I made a tumblr for my poem and I made a few poems I liked and I made a few I didn’t (I even posted some of the ones I didn’t like) but it was all silent and that’s what made me loose interest I wasn’t liking them and others weren’t but at the same time I’m paralyzed at the thought of sharing my poems I could be off anon but I’m terrified you’ll think I’m manipulating you emotionally or trying too. I want to share myself but I’m afraid of something, something I don’t even know what... I’m the type of person I hate the most someone that doesn’t fight

Good morning and welcome back. 🤍

I’m going to level with you right away: we all want praise for our work.

I don’t mean that in a general sense either. I mean that as creative people, most of us thrive on praise and attention for our ideas, words, art. And it’s addictive! We thrive on it, we wither without it, and that causes us to slump in creating more. I can’t think of a single artist who hasn’t experienced it.

At some point, you need to ask yourself what your expectations are and why you’re writing your poetry. The issue with praise is that eventually it’s no longer enough; we need more! How come I got 100 notes on that last piece and only 25 on this one? Why aren’t people reblogging this instead of just liking it?

The problem, my dear, is that Tumblr really is an awful platform for artists these days. I’ve been here for...well, a very long time, and the dynamic somewhere in the last few years has changed. People really don’t reblog the way they used to. I get less asks, I see less interaction. And for a while, that bummed me out! I withdrew, refocused on other things, and now I’m getting to the point where I post with zero expectation. Here’s a stone bird I bought. Here’s my garden because I worked hard and it looks pretty today! Here’s what I’m reading!

I’m still working on cosplay and writing fanfic, of course. I was extremely fortunate to get quite a lot (for me) of attention when I started doing both on this platform. Now? I’m lucky to get 50 notes on cosplay (47 likes, 3 reblogs, one rb mine) and a few comments on fic. Is that disheartening? It can be. It really can! The difference between who I was when I started and who I am now, however, is in my motivation. I’m not trying to impress people. I’m sharing what has brought me joy to create.

I’m not saying I don’t miss the praise. It’s something that all artists love to hear. But the thing is - public opinion is fickle. People move onto to new artists or new fandoms or leave platforms. We can’t rely on or guilt trip people into engaging with us no matter how badly we want it (and for the record, anon, I don’t think that’s what you’re doing either). We have to learn how to create for ourselves and to find the joy in that first. Praise, if we get it, is a happy bonus.

I can’t tell you how to find the joy in creating for yourself. It took me a long time after my taste of online attention, but I know I had it before that, when I spent nights frantically writing stories no one else read (and still haven’t read). I wrote because I had stories in me that I needed to tell. I still do. And that is a tremendous kind of power, one that doesn’t exist because others told me it makes me worthy.

It’s up to you if you want to keep posting your poems online. Original work is notoriously difficult to promote on Tumblr in particular, but not impossible. You have to decide if that’s the route you want to go. Either way, I would implore you not to stop writing, no matter your choice. It sounds like you have stories to tell.

[thereddieficlibrary]

Reddie Soulmates Masterlist pt 1

his favourite colour is yellow. by odetodun (1/1 | 1414 | not rated)

Richie and Eddie have always seen the colours.

more than just a dream by fljghtlessbirds (10/10 | 21648 | mature)

soulmate: (n) “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.” his whole life, eddie had heard the legends and myths of soulmates. everyone had a unique mark etched onto their body, and their soulmate had the exact same one. eddie still hasn't met his.

The Love Song of Edward T. Kaspbrak by bellatrixblacke (2/2 | 35214 | mature)

"What do you know about Words, Eddie?" Sonia asked.

He reeled back at her question, shocked. What in the Lord's name did words have to do with his mother's untimely death? "Words? Well, they're what we speak, and what we write, and-"

"No, no, not just ordinary words, Eddie," she interrupted him, slightly exasperated. "Words, a person's Words."

Eddie frowned. "A person's words? Like... Like their name?"

Eddie had no idea where his mother was getting at, but he looked at her, saw her wringing hands and the crease on her forehead, and suddenly knew he was about to learn something important.

"Not their name, Eddie, no," she explained. "The Words of their soulmate's song."

Wonky Compass by RanjantheVictor (1/1 | 8558 | teen)

Everyone has a soulmate, and everyone has a mark on their body hinting who that person could be. But marks and soulmates can change.

For Eddie Kaspbrak, figuring it over the years can be quite a challenge.

Our House, in the Middle of Our House by orphan_account (1/1 | 4460 | teen)

Whatever song your soulmate has stuck in their head is resultedly stuck in yours. Eddie, long suffering through mattress commercial jingles and old rock hits, imagines he would kill his soulmate if he had the chance. Or, he would, if he didn't think revenge was a better answer.

Friday, Never Hesitate by wings_g_leviosa (7/7 | 14519 | teen)

The next day, his mother told him to swallow a new pill. Oblong, slightly pink in color. It was bitter on his tongue, and he didn’t like it.

Clue(less) by endversed (1/1 | 8244 | teen)

Every person on this sorry planet wakes up on their seventeenth birthday with a soulmate mark somewhere on their body – but it’s not always easy to figure out. It’s not their name, or their first words to you, or even some kind of matching shape. It’s not anything clearly indicative; nothing concrete (at first).

No, all this mark gives you is a clue.

Cracked and broken. by sweetkisses (1/1 | 15890 | not rated)

Richie is good with words, fuck he's great with words, but he can't seem to say "I love you" to his soulmate, Eddie. Sure, both of their necklaces glow the peach color of love but neither boy has actually said it outloud. Maybe these few months of their junior year can push them to finally say it.

This is a sequel to my other fic, There is a crack right through my heart, you should probably read that first or else you might be a bit confused here.

I Believe A Thing Call Love by ma_cheries (1/? | 3042 | teen)

Soulmate Au- Soulmates wear mood rings but instead of the ring showing there own emotions, it shows their soulmate's mood

your true colours are beautiful (like a rainbow) by eddiefuckinkaspbrak (1/1 | 2371 | teen)

Soulmate AU where you see in black and white until you meet your soulmate.

Resigned to Fate (Fading Away) by punto_y_coma (1/1 | 7712 | teen)

Soulmate AU: Being next to your soulmate heals injuries.

Put Those Colors On by TheMightyChipmunk (2/2 | 16525 | explicit)

Richie Tozier wasn’t funny. He just wasn’t. And Eddie respected Bill for maintaining a friendship with the man since high school, even through Richie’s rise to fame, but no matter how much Eddie loved Bill, he could NOT sit there and pretend to appreciate Richie Tozier's Netflix Special.

“Can you not just sit there and bitch?” Bill asked and Eddie raised his hands in question.

“I didn't say anything!” Eddie argued. Bill rolled his eyes, shoving popcorn in his mouth.

“You’re been making dumb faces this whole time. I can practically hear the judgment rolling off of you.” Bill scolded, “There’s some funny stuff in here, if you get over yourself and... well, parse through the bullshit.” Eddie laughed once, loud and unbelieving.

“Bill, unclench. Eddie’s allowed to not love Richie as much as you do,” Audra said calmly, through a mouthful of Doritos, “I mean, the guy did just make a joke about dick-hole vaping.”

Seriously. Not. Funny.

***

Set in a universe where you don't see color until you hear your soulmate laugh, Eddie really doesn't think Richie is funny. I wonder how that's going to work out for them.

How Not to Be Soulmates by The Red Squirrel (Just_a_Fangirl) (3/17 | 14177 | teen)

When Eddie joined RB Publishing he expected the usual awkwardness that comes with starting a new job - like forgetting someone's name or losing his way to the kitchen. He did not expect to find himself in the middle of an intense office prank war, or to meet someone he hated as much as much as Richie fucking Tozier.

i love you so much it hurts my head by Biltchibo (1/1 | 5037 | teen)

“For the last time, Bill, I'm not going into that fucking shop with you!” Eddie came back to the moment, aggressively stapling the paper once. “That thing is full of flowers, top to bottom and, “ he turned around in his chair, staring pointedly at the man, Bill, across the room, “it’s Pollen Season, do you want me to die?”

or the Flower Shop/Tattoo Parlor Soulmate AU nobody asked for.

The Line Between Love and Hate by hufflepuffkaspbrak (1/1 | 2945 | teen)

They say there's a thin line between love and hate

or the soulmate au where you feel intense emotions with your soulmate & their name appears on your body the first time you touch

desiderium by giraffingallday (1/1 | 2631 | not rated)

He pushed his nose into the soft skin under his jaw, soft prickles itching his face and smoke mixed with a distant smell of plain white soap filling his nose. Richie placed his joint-free hand on the middle of Eddie’s back, just resting there as a heavy solid pressure, and started his story from the top. They weren’t, like, together, but this had always been a bit of a thing for them, the closeness. _

In a world where a soul can only find rest with it's mate, the same is true for Eddie Kaspbrak.

Truth or Dare? by Hand_of_the_Alex (1/1 | 4525 | teen)

When you turn eighteen you are unable to lie to your soulmate. It's Richie's birthday and the losers are going camping.

i fucked your mom by Hand_of_the_Alex (1/1 | 2396 | teen)

Soulmates have a specific phrase on them, a phrase that means something to the two of them.

Eddie has 'I fucked your mom' on his arm,

Soulmate AU: Injuries by HoshiYoshi (1/1 | 1308 | teen)

Soulmates are born with flowers in the places their soulmate is going to be injured in some way that's significant to them.

Beverly has a flower on her abdomen. Mike has flowers around his face and on the inside of his wrists. Richie, on the other hand, has a giant flower on his chest.

sick of losing soulmates by Sunflowers_And_Bluebelles (1/1 | 4934 | general)

That night, Richie was told about soulmates. His mother’s eyes had lit up when Richie told her about the disappearing ink and she quickly ushered him to the dinner table. Everyone could start communicating with them at different ages and Richie was very young compared to others. Soulmates. A person perfectly suited just for you.

the ruby effect by paxamdays (1/1 | 2931 | general)

‘Ruby’ was derived from the word ‘rubatosis’, which in turn had the very vague definition of 'the awareness of your own heartbeat.' Eddie didn't know how one was supposed to be able to feel their own heartbeat, let alone someone else's, but he doesn't make the rules so it didn't matter at all.

•

In which Eddie is a cynic and Richie, in true Richie Tozier fashion, makes truly awful jokes (and neither of them really know how to talk to each other without being fucking awkward, but that's fine.)

It's Always Been You by chucknovak (1/1 | 2342 | teen)

At midnight on their 18th birthday, every person develops a mark somewhere on their body identical to that of their soulmate. Richie Tozier thinks the whole soulmate business is bullshit; there's only one person he wants his soulmate to be, and what if it's not him?

Stop Thinking So Much by eddiesgazebos (1/1 | 1286 | teen)

the one where Eddie meets a new boy that seems to have something VERY special about his mind.

the writing on your skin by eddiefuckinkaspbrak (1/1 | 2498 | teen)

Prompt: The au where whatever you write on yourself shows up on your soulmates body where you wrote it with Eddie and Richie. It would be super cute ❤️

we have traveled (love and pain) by sunsetozier (1/1 | 4929 | teen)

The Prompt: soulmate au where you share intense emotions. like if richie is really sad then eddie feels sad, if one of them gets punched really hard the other one can kind of feel it. reddie are friends but don't realize they're soulmates until they get confronted by bowers or jumped or whatever depending on how old you want to make them and one of them gets hurt and that's how they figure it out.

man, i can't believe dumbledore died by wheezy_trashmouth (3/? | 1312 | mature)

basically. soulmate tattoo au. eddie doesnt Have a soulmate! ....or does he? haha..jk.........unless??

Handcuffs, Feathers, Rings, and Tattoos by inawaragainstreality (21/21 | 41922 | teen)

Richie's always believed in soulmates and he knows that Eddie Kaspbrak is his soulmate. So much so, he's not showing Eddie his soulmate tattoo until Eddie has his. He wants them to be the first people to see each other's.

But then Richie gets into an accident and loses his memory. His family moves away shortly after. Eddie and the rest of the Losers struggle to deal with their lives without Richie as well as what their new tattoos can mean.

Eddie's almost ready to get over his first love (well second) and start his college life when he runs into the last person he would ever want to see.

Soulmates in Paint by ironarm (1/1 | 1602 | general)

Eddie just wants to hand in his art project, Richie wants to get his number, and apparently, soulmates are a thing.

Eds by Ness09 (1/1 | 7910 | not rated)

When Eddie wakes up on his sixteenth birthday, he finds Eds tattooed onto his skin, but Richie has already found his soulmate. A lot of people hide their soulmate tattoos, but none of them are friends with Richie Tozier.

hard to see this time of night by eddiespaghetti (foxwatson) (1/1 | 8587 | teen)

For 27 years, Eddie Kaspbrak doesn't remember his dreams. Something about him is just broken. But after everything, in Derry, when he falls asleep - he dreams.

at once i knew i was not magnificent by wishie (2/2 | 11651 | general)

Soulmates make romance easier, but they are not, after all, a guarantee. Richie finds this out the hard way, and Eddie realizes the problems with forever. (Or, Richie and Eddie fall apart.)

regrets by r_eddie (1/1 | 2145 | teen)

Where people can feel what their soulmate feels when they touched and things that are hidden safely in their mind are blurted out unexpectedly.

-

The second Richie accidentally touched Eddie, they instantly knew that they were soulmates. But the problem was that they couldn't even stand being in the same room as each other. When their friends found out, they became determined to help them realize what they're missing out in front of them.

i've lived and died a hundred times by bughead (1/1 | 6167 | general)

In a rare moment of genuinity, Eddie whispers, “I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

Eddie and Richie's souls are connected, and they've met millions of times throughout history.

(or, some souls are just meant to meet, one way or another)

I Lost Who We Are by richietoaster (1/1 | 4534 | teen)

Richie frowns, “You can go home if you want to. I won’t be mad at you.”

“I don’t want to. I like hanging out with you. I don’t know, it’s weird..” Eddie looks up at the sky as if he’s trying to think about how to word what he’s trying to say, “You know how magicians, like.. Pull a rabbit out of their hats?”

Richie nods. “I love magic! The card tricks are always cool-io.”

“Yeah.. I’m the rabbit. I appear. And it’s like you’re a magician.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t think I do, either."

how do you sleep when you lie to me? by stansrichie (1/1 | 3331 | not rated)

reddie soulmate au where when you write on your skin, it’ll show up on your soulmates skin as well so eddie started wearing long sleeves… until one day, he doesn’t.

Bless You by reddiebitch (1/1 | 1494 | teen)

Soulmate AU where you sneeze at the same time as your soulmate, and Richie has terrible allergies.

The Water Will Carry Me to You by LuddleBubble (1/1 | 8813 | general)

Richie Tozier dreams about his soulmate every night, but he had no idea what they look like, sound like, or even what their name is. It's like that for everyone with soulmates- they interact in their dreams without really giving away their identities. The only way of knowing who your soulmate is, is that you have to meet them out in the world. Of course, you won't know right away, just once you go to sleep that night and you see their face. Richie isn't really looking for his soulmate on this particular day, but instead is just looking to have some fun with his friends. But that's how it works, isn't it? You only find something when you aren't looking for it.

Love me, please? by hoeziertozier (1/1 | 2346 | general)

Everyone has a mark on their body from birth that only they can see. It becomes visible to their soulmate once they fall in love with them. This means that you can love a number of people in your life, but only one of them is your soulmate.So even though everything might be set in stone from the beginning, at least you still get to experience the whole ride of falling in love, and the heartbreak that comes with it being the wrong the person. But he was Richie Tozier, and the universe was never on his side.

best part of me is you by eddiefuckinkaspbrak (1/1 | 2076 | teen)

Eddie and Richie are soulmates who can feel each others immediate emotions. Fluffy! 

[farharbour]

i hate that i feel like i can’t talk about the like/rb ratio on my posts without being afraid that i come off as upset about the lack of notes (i’m not, it’s the disparity i have a problem with), or that i seem like i feel entitled to people’s attention, or like i’m ungrateful for the support i’m shown. or even like i’m whining about stuff that doesn’t really matter. because yeah, i guess it really doesn’t matter to be honest but it matters to me, right now, and i’m allowed to be a little upset every once in a while.

like i get that there are any number of reasons why someone would want to like and not rb a post, maybe they queue’d it, maybe it doesn’t fit their blog theme, whatever! and no one has to rb every single thing they see that they like, either. like i get all that and i really do understand the other side as both a creator and a consumer of content. but all that doesn’t change the fact that when a gifset gets almost three times as many likes as rb’s i’m filled with a weird mixture of validation and frustration. like. it makes me feel like people liked what i did but that it still just wasn’t good enough, you know?

and all of this isn’t to say that i’m going to stop making gifs, because i’m not! in the long run i make gifs of things that i want to see, and my enjoyment and liking of my content is first and foremost. which is why i almost exclusively gif reigen. because i’m gay. but anyway. i’ve been finding myself lately wondering if that’s really good enough. and i know it is, and that validation isn’t everything. but sometimes it’s just hard to remember that, and that’s okay.

i’m almost preaching to the choir here because i know so many of y'all are also content creators and notice the same patterns in ratios and in thinking when it comes to your own gifs/art/writing. and i really do try my hardest to support all of you guys in the same ways that you’ve supported me because you all deserve it! and. if you’ve ever made anything that i missed or that  you want me to check out/rb please don’t ever feel weird or awkward about dm’ing it to me or @/ing me in your posts (don’t tag my url without an @ tho, i don’t have a tracked tag and i don’t plan on doing that).

i guess my point with all of this turned from being sad to being supportive! solidarity post time!  we as content creators have to have each other’s backs and remind each other to keep creating no matter what and not let stuff like this really take the fun and enjoyment out of what we do. and i know, it’s hard not to let it get to you. but you should always, always keep creating just for the sake of creating, for the passion of it all, because no one brings your unique style or view to an idea. even if something has been done before, don’t be afraid to do it again, because you’ll do it in a different way and it will be uniquely yours, and what you make is always going to be special regardless of what others think. and it’s fair to complain about a perceived lack of support but always remember that notes don’t define your worth as an artist, an author, or a creator, ok?

[eddycurrents]

Uncanny X-Men #1 “Disassembled - Part 1”

Writers: Ed Brisson, Matthew Rosenberg & Kelly Thompson | Artist: Mahmud Asrar | Colourist: Rachelle Rosenberg | Letters: Joe Caramagna

Published by Marvel | 14.11.2018 | $7.99

It’s only been since early 2017 since there’s been an Uncanny X-Men series on the stands, but this almost two years has felt like an eternity as the team has been split into Blue, Gold, and Red instances. This new Uncanny X-Men #1 works to bring them back under the same umbrella as a new threat looms over the heads of Marvel’s merry mutants.

This issue kicks off with an ominous vision and warning to Jean from Multiple Man that sets the tone of confusion and questioning some impending catastrophe on its way.

Ed Brisson, Matthew Rosenberg, and Kelly Thompson start out the series with a number of events that would otherwise seem to be routine: Kitty taking a group of students on a field run against c-list second stringer villains like the Mutant Liberation Front and Jean and a group of veteran X-Men to a rally full of anti-mutant hate speech. It’s old hat in both cases, but it gets turned on its ear pretty quick. Something massive goes wrong when Kitty disappears and it just snowballs when Madrox freaks out at the news.

There’s some very nice use of humour throughout, and an interesting bit of character development from the Young X-Men/Academy X group as they begin questioning their place within the X-Men. It’s also really nice to see Cannonball with the X-Men again, it’s been awhile.

Of the puzzles raised, the flash evolution in the Kalahari makes me wonder if there’s a bit of Apocalypse’s technology involved, as we saw in the recent back-ups in X-Men Black. If someone else is using it to help feed and nourish people in Botswana. The random teleportations are also kind of weird, especially when it occurs to both Madrox and Senator Allen.

Mahmud Asrar handles the art chores for this opening salvo, and for the most part the artwork is gorgeous. Asrar and Rachelle Rosenberg produce some incredibly beautiful pieces throughout the story, in particular the Beast and Storm scene in Africa. Great composition and colour use.

The action throughout is also wonderful. The battle between the X-Men and the Mutant Liberation Front is impressive and the latter fight with the multiplicity of Madroxes is incredible. Many moving parts with so many people--albeit the same person--that just adds to the chaos of this story.

I am, however, a little disappointed in the sequence in front of City Hall. The backgrounds and mob of Madroxes are incredible, packing a large amount of detail into the pages. My problem comes in the X-Men themselves. In their civilian clothes, they’re kind of bland. Indistinguishable from one another in a couple of cases. Other than Jean and Betsy due to their hair colour, and Bishop and Jubilee due they’re distinctive looks, without naming them through the dialogue, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you with certainty who they were. Angel and Cannonball might have well been the same person. If the intent, though, was to make them blend into the crowd as nothing special, it worked.

Ultimately, this feels like an end more than a beginning. Kind of like how Avengers: No Surrender was a big last hurrah for the various Avengers titles before the Jason Aaron and Ed McGuinness relaunch. We know that Uncanny X-Men is carrying on past this arc, though, so it makes it a bit more interesting. Making me wonder if this is more of a winnowing process to refocus and repurpose the X-Men from the current status quo to whatever it is that comes next.

It’s very chaotic, and there are a ton of questions raised as to what’s going on, but it’s not messy. The chaos and confusion are definitely deliberate meant to make everyone, including both characters and the audience, wonder what’s happening. I think Brisson, Rosenberg, and Thompson have done a great job of capturing the feel of the X-Men and successfully crafted an intriguing starting point for this series.

“What Tomorrow Brings”

Part One: A Bishop Story - Writer: Matthew Rosenberg | Artist: Mirko Colak

Part Two: A Jean Grey Story - Writer: Kelly Thompson | Artist: Ibraim Roberson

Part Three: An Armor & Anole Story - Writer: Ed Brisson | Penciller: Mark Bagley | Inker: Andrew Hennessy

Epilogue - Writer: Kelly Thompson | Penciller: Mark Bagley | Inker: Andrew Hennessy

Colourist: Guru e-FX | Letters: Joe Caramagna

There’s also a back-up story, broken down into parts for each of the main writers individually, that deals with some moments before the events of the main story.

The first is a Bishop vignette from Rosenberg and Mirko Colak. It focuses on a little device that warns Bishop of forthcoming temporal problems and an investigation that leads him to Dark Beast and the Sugar Man. The inclusion of Age of Apocalypse holdovers and what’s happening to them is definitely an interesting point. Kind of makes you wonder if someone’s cleaning up other anomalies in a similar fashion to what’s been going on in Extermination.

The second is a bizarre coffee shop conversation about hope and the sad state of the world between Jean Grey and a strange old woman, by Thompson and Ibraim Roberson. Roberson’s art is great and his Jean Grey is gorgeous, looking somewhere between Jessica Chastain and Bryce Dallas Howard. Really weird end bit as the coffee shop is invaded by some sort of person who seems able to psychically take over multiple people’s minds to do as they wish.

The third part and the epilogue are both handled by Mark Bagley and Andrew Hennessy for art. Brisson tackles the third sequence, getting somewhat meta with Armor and Anole as they complain about being sidelined. With another appearance from Dark Beast, raising more questions about what’s going on.

Thompson handles the epilogue, bringing together all three parts, and giving a bit of insight into a broader battle between two unknown groups. The first is the psychic who seems to able to achieve a hive mind and the other is “him” who is likely the old woman that Jean was speaking to earlier. It makes you wonder if these are the agents who’ve been causing the havoc in the main story, if maybe this psychic is controlling Madrox (or is a Madrox) which is why Jean and Betsy have a difficult time reading him.

The digital edition of Uncanny X-Men #1 on Comixology comes as the “Director’s Edition” and also comes with an additional bit of back material. There’s the script, art transitions from line art to coloured pages, sketches and designs, covers, and such. It’s interesting to see this look behind the curtain and it increases the page count to nearly a whopping 300. All for the same price as the regular print edition.

Uncanny X-Men #2 “Disassembled - Part 2”

Writers: Ed Brisson, Matthew Rosenberg & Kelly Thompson | Penciller: RB Silva| Inker: Adriano Di Benedetto | Colourist: Rachelle Rosenberg | Letters: Joe Caramagna

Published by Marvel | 21.11.2018 | $3.99

Uncanny X-Men #2 continues the chaos of the first issue, with even more strange occurrences breaking out across the globe as extinct animals resurface and a multiplicity of Madroxes manifests in Kansas which can be seen from space.

I actually think I liked this one more than the first issue, even though it follows along much of the same lines as the first one, as the X-Men are in disarray, chaos is erupting across the globe, and we’re still not sure what’s going on anywhere.

Ed Brisson, Matthew Rosenberg, and Kelly Thompson put the disappearance of Kitty and Senator Allen on hold for a bit as they split into teams to deal with the disasters popping up, that seem to have the same energy signature as the disappearances. It makes me wonder if these are ripple effects from the messing with time from Multiple Man--especially since he’s an unintentional major antagonist so far--or if maybe it’s a repercussion from however Extermination ends (or, of course, it could just be X-Man).

Splitting into smaller teams to handle the issues, witty banter among the cast who treat each other like family, impossible odds, and impressive action pieces, I have to say that this really does feel like the X-Men. If that makes any sense. The humour itself really goes a long way to make this just that more enjoyable.

Also enjoy the simmering sub-plot of the younger mutants. And there goes Beast, always doing the stupid thing.

RB Silva and Adriano Di Benedetto take over the art chores for this chapter. Although I can’t say I’m a fan of the approach that this series is taking to the rotating art teams (each issue has a different art team), as I’d prefer the teams in blocks similar to how Avengers: No Surrender dealt with it, for overall consistency in storytelling and visual appearance when read in one go, Silva and Di Benedetto deliver some very strong artwork. The action sequences with the dinosaurs is particularly impressive. How they handle the Madroxes is also great.

I’m not as sold on the new Betsy Braddock. I really appreciate the reversion to a variation on her original body and ethnicity, I think that was a change long in the making. I don’t know about her overall new design though. Her costume is kind of generic, and she herself just kind of seems...bland. I quite liked the appearance of the psychic sword and shield in the previous issue, and reminding everyone that’s she’s really British through the bloody dialogue last issue and mentioning Brian this issue are nice, but it still feels like more work needs to be done on defining who Psylocke is again. 

There are some very nice uses of colour schemes for the various locations from Rachelle Rosenberg that help clarifying and delineate the sequences. It’s a nice, simple visual cue to help alleviate any possible confusion from scene changes.

While we’re still a little in the dark, the action and intrigue is entertaining and the tension in the plot feels palpable, just waiting for everything to explode overall. There are some nice character moments and an impression that all of the different corners of the X-universe are going to be touched upon at some point.

I’m definitely hooked to see where this going to go.

Quick Bits:

Domino #8 concludes, kind of, the vampire arc, though it feels like there should definitely be more coming somewhere down the line. Excellent artwork from David Baldeón and Jesus Aburtov. Aburtov’s colours this issue are particularly impressive, from the snow to rays of sunlight penetrating the ocean.

Exiles #10 brings the Thousand and One Nights arc to an end with a confrontation between the Exiles and Caliph Doom. All of the series has been great so far, but this one seems to really have elevated things. Saladin Ahmed, Javier Rodríguez, Álvaro López, Muntsa Vicente, and Joe Caramagna really seem to have gone all out on this arc.

Astonishing X-Men #17 concludes the series, tying a bow on the Reavers. Matthew Rosenberg gives us some nice character development for Havok and a rejuvenated Banshee.

Mr. & Mrs. X #5 concludes the first arc with some absolutely huge ramifications for Rogue. I’ve never really much liked Gambit, but Kelly Thompson is certainly bringing me around on him for this series, that’s a pretty huge accomplishment. Also, the art this issue from Oscar Bazaldua and Frank D’Armata is gorgeous.

Weapon H #10 has some stunning artwork from Guiu Vilanova and Morry Hollowell. Some of the layouts this issue as Morgan Le Fay drops some truth on the characters are amazing. Greg Pak delivers a few surprising revelations this issue, along with Weapon H’s full name. It’s a shame that this series is ending soon, since it continues to be an exciting and fun ride.

Weapon X #26 is one of the best issues yet from Greg Pak, Fred Van Lente, Luca Pizzari, Roberto Di Salvo, Frank D’Armata, and Joe Caramagna as the team goes to hell. Some interesting representations of each character’s hell and Sabretooth’s moral balance, but I think one of the most interesting things is the use of the 9-panel grids. It gives a feel that hell is ordered, structured, that all of the suffering has a design and is not just chaos.

The Unexamined: Secret Agent Deadpool #6

d. emerson eddy thinks it’s probably X-Man’s fault. It’s always X-Man’s fault. Unless it’s Beast’s. He’s pretty good at gumming up the works and perennially doing the wrong thing for the past decade or so too.

[photomaniacs]

A Big Dumb Button http://ift.tt/2tufYsI My wife Sara and I… http://ift.tt/2sq5nj0

A Big Dumb Button http://ift.tt/2tufYsI

My wife Sara and I used to have this running joke leading up to her birthday each year. Each year I’d say, “Honey! What would you like for your birthday?,” and she would reply “I’d like a Hasselblad”. Usually with a big smile on her face, in a wink-wink-nudge-nudge kind of way.

Then I’d say “Ha ha, no, seriously, what would you like?” and we’d both laugh and move on to more serious things.

Hasselblad. The 500c/m. Man. That camera. It’s like the Rolls Royce of cameras. It would send shivers down our spines and we’d get all giggly any time we’d talk about it.

Hasselblad. We both wanted one. For me, the Hasselblad 500c/m is the perfect camera. It’s this beautiful, perfect melding of function and art mixed together. It really is a work of art; this little square box and can come all apart and attach to other things to make other types of cameras. If he was a Transformer he’d be the classiest one. He’d probably have a swirly moustache and wear a top hat and speak in an elegant accent.

Sometime around 2007-2008, I worked part-time a few days a week at our local camera shop. Three generations owned this shop. A downtown staple. The owner knew everyone that walked in. He chatted everybody up. He knew everyones stories.

A few months before Sara’s birthday, this older gentleman came into the shop. A small, white-haired guy, slightly bent over. He wore one of those blue trucker hats that had the yellow crests on the bill. It said MARINES.

The owner of the camera store knew of the little ongoing joke that Sara and I had. Those two were talking for quite a while and as they finished up their conversation, I got called over.

“Sid, this is John.”

“Hi.”

“I told John about your little joke you have with Sara. John actually works on Hasselblad cameras.”

“You do??” I asked him.

“I do,” he said. “I’m actually about to retire. I’m going to be closing up my workshop. I heard about your little run-on gag you have with your lady-friend. Y’know, I have a bunch of Hasselblad parts at my workshop still. Let me see if I can piece something together, and if I can, I’ll bring it back in here and we can talk.”

“Oh. Totally. That’s awesome. Thank you.”

And John left the store. And I figured that even if he did have something lying around, there is no way in hell I’d get my hands on one. I’d priced them on Craigslist. I’d followed them on eBay. Even with the “Great Film Crash” since the advent of digital cameras, the Rolls Royce of cameras was still at a price I couldn’t reach.

Two days later, John comes walking back in with a plastic bag under his arm. I got this tingle down my spine.

John pulls a 500c/m out of the bag. He sets it down on the glass counter and he nods for me to pick it up. I paw at it. It’s beautiful. It’s all leather and silver streamlined trim. It’s square and compact. And it’s calling to me.

“Sid. Sid. Look at me. Looooook.”

I wind it, pull the darkslide, and press the shutter. It makes that beautiful “CLOP-LOMP!” sound. Oh, that sweet, sweet sound.

I owned a Mamiya RB67 while in college. That thing was a tank. It was heavy and huge and it was near impossible for me to handhold and take a picture with it. You could drop an RB from a very tall building and the impact below would make a crater in the ground. But it would still work. That camera was fantastic.

But this camera was totally different. More elegant, refined. Not cumbersome like a blaster, but refined like a lightsaber. A more elegant weapon for a more elegant time. This was the girl that everyone had a crush on. That everyone wanted to take to the Prom.

This was the one true thing when it came to cameras.

I’m just about to start whispering sweet nothings into it’s viewfinder when John speaks up. He sounds kinda frustrated and angry. Not with me, but with himself:

“I was able to piece a kit together. The leather is good. The foam inside is clean. I put a brighter focusing screen in there so you can see better. It’s in good shape. But the serial numbers on the body and the film back don’t match. I hope that’s okay.”

I’m about to get down on my knees and propose marriage and he’s irritated with himself that the serial number don’t match.

“Uh…” was all I could say.

I paw at it some more, like a cat playing with a mouse. All of my logic is gone. All I can do is oggle the beautiful silver lines that move around the body of this camera. I’m hypnotized.

“So,” John begins and briefly snaps me out of my daydream.

“Here it is,” I start thinking. “The moment he tells me it’s like $1,200 bucks or more and I have to hand it back over to him”. My brain starts to get depressed.

“I have to ask: how much?” I say. I’m a mix of excitement but I’m ever so slightly pulling away because I know I’m going to be ripped away from this beautiful mix of utilitarianism and sculpture.

“Welp, I think it’s great that you both are photographers. And that you both met in art college. And I cleaned this thing up just for her. And since she loves photography and you love photography and she sounds like such a lovely lady, give me $200 and it’s yours.”

I was kind of in a daze. I had prepared for him to say something close to a thousand. My body was already instinctively starting to push the camera away from me when he tossed out the price. It took a few seconds for it to catch up on me.

“Wait, what?”

“Two hundred. And I might even have a prisim viewfinder back at the workshop. If I do I’ll bring it by in the next few days.”

Nobody has ever seen me run faster out the door of the camera shop, down main street and to the closest ATM. I ran like The Flash. I ran for my wife. I ran for that camera, and in my head, all the pictures I’d take and film I’d wind and times I’d just lovingly look over at it on a tri-pod.

I gave John the cash, and he again told me that if he found a prism for it, he’d bring it by in a few days and I could have it.

Suddenly I looked down and I owned the camera that was in my hand. Wait. What?

After John left, the owner of the camera store came up to me. He asked me if I knew who John was.

“No. He’s a really nice guy that just sold me a dream camera for a steal.” I said.

He told me to go home tonight, and look up the name John Kovacs on the internet. I might get a better idea of who just left.

So I did. And I wasn’t prepared for what I found.

John Kovacs.

John, it turns out, was one of the original group of technicians that was trained in Sweden many, many years ago. He had been working out of Nashua, New Hampshire, for decades under the name Hilton Command Exposures. Back in the days before the Internet, he would be the guy who’s name you would see in the back of camera collector magazines. He would be the guy that people would recommend to other Hasselblad owners when something went wrong with their camera. You popped your Hassy in a box and sent it off to Hilton Command Exposures in Nashua NH, and, weeks or months later, you’d get your camera back fixed and in perfect working order. He didn’t have a website. He worked by word of mouth.

John is the patent holder for the workings that enable multiple exposures on cameras with a film-back mechanism.

And John Kovacs was one of the original group of technicians that worked on the NASA modification of the Hasselblad equipment for the Space Program.

Wait. What?

Two days later, John came back into the camera store with a prism for me. I immediately jumped into asking him questions about all this stuff that I found online.

“Yeah,” he said with slight irritation, “that’s me.”

“Space! You worked on the cameras that went to the moon!! That’s amazing!”

John got even more irritated.

“Space,” he dryly said. “F**king Armstrong couldn’t operate the camera with his big stupid moon gloves on, so I had to create a big dumb button that he could bang to take the exposure.”

It was one of the most surrealistic moments I’ve ever been part of. Listening to someone irritated about the part they played in documenting people landing on the moon. There is a whole documentary film in his angry statement.

Shortly after he left. A week later he retired from being a Hasselblad technician, closed up his shop, sold the rest of his stuff to someone who turned around and sold all of it in pieces on eBay. The legacy of John Kovacs, and his participation in the history of cameras and photography came to an end.

John moved to Florida to live the remainder of his life happy and retired. One of the things I regret in our all-too-brief 4 day friendship was not getting a picture of him. I found a scan of a newspaper article that talked about Hilton Command Exposures back in the early 1990’s. Sitting there in his workshop, tending to someone’s mail-order, bringing a Rolls Royce of cameras back to life for people all over the world.

Sara was over the moon when she opened her birthday present that year. And, doubly over the moon when I told her the story that came with the camera. That some of the most skilled hands refurbed this camera, and that those hands adjusted the camera’s that are still sitting up there on the moon. And we got one of the very last cameras he worked on before he retired.

John died on January 18, 2013, in North Fort Myers, Florida, where he retired. He was a WWII Veteran with the United States Marine Corps. He was formerly the proud owner of Hilton Command Exposures in Nashua.

That camera will never part from us. It’s too important. There is too much history behind it. And one of the things that makes me sad is the history of photography, and of Hasselblad cameras, just became a little less because of John’s passing. These individuals who are on the outskirts of the history of photography are starting to pass. While we are obsessed with resolution and cramming megapixels into sensors and how to find the fast track to success, people like John who could turn a camera inside out and back again, are passing on.

I hope the information that was in John’s brain was passed on to somebody. Or somebodies. I hope he didn’t die with all the years of technical information and history without being able to pass all that on. Because I can’t bear knowing that he did.

Share your stories. Share the stories of those who pass those stories on to you. Photography is much larger that just taking pictures of things and putting them in a book or on a website. Share the stories, the conversations that come with them. Preserve the past and the history, however small it might seem to be.

There is so much more I wish I knew about John. But I’m glad that I get to share my story about him, however small it might be.

And every time I hear that CLOP-LOMP! coming out of my Hasselblad, I’m preserving John’s legacy and sharing who he was in a minuscule way.

About the author: Sid Ceaser is a studio and location photographer based in Nashua, New Hampshire. He specializes in band and musician publicity, press kit and promo photos, as well as headshot photos for people in entertainment and business. In addition to shooting he also teaches workshops and runs a podcast with designer Dave Seah. You can connect with him through his website, blog, Facebook, Flickr, and Twitter. This article was also published here.

Go to Source Author: Sid Ceaser If you’d like us to remove any content please send us a message here CHECK OUT THE TOP SELLING CAMERAS!

The post A Big Dumb Button appeared first on CameraFreaks.

June 30, 2017 at 09:00PM

Go to Source Author: If you’d like us to remove any content please send us a message here CHECK OUT THE TOP SELLING CAMERAS!

The post A Big Dumb Button http://ift.tt/2tufYsI

My wife Sara and I… appeared first on CameraFreaks.

June 30, 2017 at 10:05PM

[photomaniacs]

A Big Dumb Button http://ift.tt/2tufYsI

My wife Sara and I used to have this running joke leading up to her birthday each year. Each year I’d say, “Honey! What would you like for your birthday?,” and she would reply “I’d like a Hasselblad”. Usually with a big smile on her face, in a wink-wink-nudge-nudge kind of way.

Then I’d say “Ha ha, no, seriously, what would you like?” and we’d both laugh and move on to more serious things.

Hasselblad. The 500c/m. Man. That camera. It’s like the Rolls Royce of cameras. It would send shivers down our spines and we’d get all giggly any time we’d talk about it.

Hasselblad. We both wanted one. For me, the Hasselblad 500c/m is the perfect camera. It’s this beautiful, perfect melding of function and art mixed together. It really is a work of art; this little square box and can come all apart and attach to other things to make other types of cameras. If he was a Transformer he’d be the classiest one. He’d probably have a swirly moustache and wear a top hat and speak in an elegant accent.

Sometime around 2007-2008, I worked part-time a few days a week at our local camera shop. Three generations owned this shop. A downtown staple. The owner knew everyone that walked in. He chatted everybody up. He knew everyones stories.

A few months before Sara’s birthday, this older gentleman came into the shop. A small, white-haired guy, slightly bent over. He wore one of those blue trucker hats that had the yellow crests on the bill. It said MARINES.

The owner of the camera store knew of the little ongoing joke that Sara and I had. Those two were talking for quite a while and as they finished up their conversation, I got called over.

“Sid, this is John.”

“Hi.”

“I told John about your little joke you have with Sara. John actually works on Hasselblad cameras.”

“You do??” I asked him.

“I do,” he said. “I’m actually about to retire. I’m going to be closing up my workshop. I heard about your little run-on gag you have with your lady-friend. Y’know, I have a bunch of Hasselblad parts at my workshop still. Let me see if I can piece something together, and if I can, I’ll bring it back in here and we can talk.”

“Oh. Totally. That’s awesome. Thank you.”

And John left the store. And I figured that even if he did have something lying around, there is no way in hell I’d get my hands on one. I’d priced them on Craigslist. I’d followed them on eBay. Even with the “Great Film Crash” since the advent of digital cameras, the Rolls Royce of cameras was still at a price I couldn’t reach.

Two days later, John comes walking back in with a plastic bag under his arm. I got this tingle down my spine.

John pulls a 500c/m out of the bag. He sets it down on the glass counter and he nods for me to pick it up. I paw at it. It’s beautiful. It’s all leather and silver streamlined trim. It’s square and compact. And it’s calling to me.

“Sid. Sid. Look at me. Looooook.”

I wind it, pull the darkslide, and press the shutter. It makes that beautiful “CLOP-LOMP!” sound. Oh, that sweet, sweet sound.

I owned a Mamiya RB67 while in college. That thing was a tank. It was heavy and huge and it was near impossible for me to handhold and take a picture with it. You could drop an RB from a very tall building and the impact below would make a crater in the ground. But it would still work. That camera was fantastic.

But this camera was totally different. More elegant, refined. Not cumbersome like a blaster, but refined like a lightsaber. A more elegant weapon for a more elegant time. This was the girl that everyone had a crush on. That everyone wanted to take to the Prom.

This was the one true thing when it came to cameras.

I’m just about to start whispering sweet nothings into it’s viewfinder when John speaks up. He sounds kinda frustrated and angry. Not with me, but with himself:

“I was able to piece a kit together. The leather is good. The foam inside is clean. I put a brighter focusing screen in there so you can see better. It’s in good shape. But the serial numbers on the body and the film back don’t match. I hope that’s okay.”

I’m about to get down on my knees and propose marriage and he’s irritated with himself that the serial number don’t match.

“Uh…” was all I could say.

I paw at it some more, like a cat playing with a mouse. All of my logic is gone. All I can do is oggle the beautiful silver lines that move around the body of this camera. I’m hypnotized.

“So,” John begins and briefly snaps me out of my daydream.

“Here it is,” I start thinking. “The moment he tells me it’s like $1,200 bucks or more and I have to hand it back over to him”. My brain starts to get depressed.

“I have to ask: how much?” I say. I’m a mix of excitement but I’m ever so slightly pulling away because I know I’m going to be ripped away from this beautiful mix of utilitarianism and sculpture.

“Welp, I think it’s great that you both are photographers. And that you both met in art college. And I cleaned this thing up just for her. And since she loves photography and you love photography and she sounds like such a lovely lady, give me $200 and it’s yours.”

I was kind of in a daze. I had prepared for him to say something close to a thousand. My body was already instinctively starting to push the camera away from me when he tossed out the price. It took a few seconds for it to catch up on me.

“Wait, what?”

“Two hundred. And I might even have a prisim viewfinder back at the workshop. If I do I’ll bring it by in the next few days.”

Nobody has ever seen me run faster out the door of the camera shop, down main street and to the closest ATM. I ran like The Flash. I ran for my wife. I ran for that camera, and in my head, all the pictures I’d take and film I’d wind and times I’d just lovingly look over at it on a tri-pod.

I gave John the cash, and he again told me that if he found a prism for it, he’d bring it by in a few days and I could have it.

Suddenly I looked down and I owned the camera that was in my hand. Wait. What?

After John left, the owner of the camera store came up to me. He asked me if I knew who John was.

“No. He’s a really nice guy that just sold me a dream camera for a steal.” I said.

He told me to go home tonight, and look up the name John Kovacs on the internet. I might get a better idea of who just left.

So I did. And I wasn’t prepared for what I found.

John Kovacs.

John, it turns out, was one of the original group of technicians that was trained in Sweden many, many years ago. He had been working out of Nashua, New Hampshire, for decades under the name Hilton Command Exposures. Back in the days before the Internet, he would be the guy who’s name you would see in the back of camera collector magazines. He would be the guy that people would recommend to other Hasselblad owners when something went wrong with their camera. You popped your Hassy in a box and sent it off to Hilton Command Exposures in Nashua NH, and, weeks or months later, you’d get your camera back fixed and in perfect working order. He didn’t have a website. He worked by word of mouth.

John is the patent holder for the workings that enable multiple exposures on cameras with a film-back mechanism.

And John Kovacs was one of the original group of technicians that worked on the NASA modification of the Hasselblad equipment for the Space Program.

Wait. What?

Two days later, John came back into the camera store with a prism for me. I immediately jumped into asking him questions about all this stuff that I found online.

“Yeah,” he said with slight irritation, “that’s me.”

“Space! You worked on the cameras that went to the moon!! That’s amazing!”

John got even more irritated.

“Space,” he dryly said. “F**king Armstrong couldn’t operate the camera with his big stupid moon gloves on, so I had to create a big dumb button that he could bang to take the exposure.”

It was one of the most surrealistic moments I’ve ever been part of. Listening to someone irritated about the part they played in documenting people landing on the moon. There is a whole documentary film in his angry statement.

Shortly after he left. A week later he retired from being a Hasselblad technician, closed up his shop, sold the rest of his stuff to someone who turned around and sold all of it in pieces on eBay. The legacy of John Kovacs, and his participation in the history of cameras and photography came to an end.

John moved to Florida to live the remainder of his life happy and retired. One of the things I regret in our all-too-brief 4 day friendship was not getting a picture of him. I found a scan of a newspaper article that talked about Hilton Command Exposures back in the early 1990’s. Sitting there in his workshop, tending to someone’s mail-order, bringing a Rolls Royce of cameras back to life for people all over the world.

Sara was over the moon when she opened her birthday present that year. And, doubly over the moon when I told her the story that came with the camera. That some of the most skilled hands refurbed this camera, and that those hands adjusted the camera’s that are still sitting up there on the moon. And we got one of the very last cameras he worked on before he retired.

John died on January 18, 2013, in North Fort Myers, Florida, where he retired. He was a WWII Veteran with the United States Marine Corps. He was formerly the proud owner of Hilton Command Exposures in Nashua.

That camera will never part from us. It’s too important. There is too much history behind it. And one of the things that makes me sad is the history of photography, and of Hasselblad cameras, just became a little less because of John’s passing. These individuals who are on the outskirts of the history of photography are starting to pass. While we are obsessed with resolution and cramming megapixels into sensors and how to find the fast track to success, people like John who could turn a camera inside out and back again, are passing on.

I hope the information that was in John’s brain was passed on to somebody. Or somebodies. I hope he didn’t die with all the years of technical information and history without being able to pass all that on. Because I can’t bear knowing that he did.

Share your stories. Share the stories of those who pass those stories on to you. Photography is much larger that just taking pictures of things and putting them in a book or on a website. Share the stories, the conversations that come with them. Preserve the past and the history, however small it might seem to be.

There is so much more I wish I knew about John. But I’m glad that I get to share my story about him, however small it might be.

And every time I hear that CLOP-LOMP! coming out of my Hasselblad, I’m preserving John’s legacy and sharing who he was in a minuscule way.

About the author: Sid Ceaser is a studio and location photographer based in Nashua, New Hampshire. He specializes in band and musician publicity, press kit and promo photos, as well as headshot photos for people in entertainment and business. In addition to shooting he also teaches workshops and runs a podcast with designer Dave Seah. You can connect with him through his website, blog, Facebook, Flickr, and Twitter. This article was also published here.

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June 30, 2017 at 09:00PM