#even outside of the whole 'lesbian against gay rights' thing

[finelythreadedsky]

saw a cover of the song of achilles with a testimonial from another author saying "mary renault lives again." mary renault would have hated that so much.

[inf3ct3dd]

ellie headcanons pt.5!!!

warnings: nada

content: loser!ellie x reader headcanons

authors note : ellie dug a hole into my skull and moved in

⁃ against bags for no reason. like her pockets are constantly full of things. random receipts, money, headphones, EVERYTHING. she takes her pants of and they jingle cuz they're filled with COINS.

⁃ knows how to do a back bridge and just HAS to let everyone know. you're watching tv and she's just on the floor like "look"

⁃ i feel like shes the type of person to just start fully eating an orange in the middle of class. like ur listening to the teacher talk and you're just hit by the most aggressive wave of CITRUS from behind you

⁃ ���constantly fighting the air... like she's just in the kitchen punching and kicking at NOTHING just because. she's always coming up to you and like take punching you and doing her own sound effects like “PWAH PWAH WAM WAPOW"

⁃ jar hoarder 😞😞 every time you buy anything that comes in a jar she's keeping it. literally won't let you throw them away!!! you guys don't even have cups anymore, its just jars and mugs.

⁃ speaking of mugs, ellie has just as many stupid mugs as she does stupid tshirts. absolutely has a lot of garfield mugs be she LOVES GARFEILD

- would buy a dry-erase board for your fridge and leave u little notes and drawings

⁃ "Every single time I see you, I become horny like a triceratops" with a little drawing of a triceratops"

⁃ breaks into incoherent ramblings when shes sleepy... like insane hypotheticals

"what if our bed just completely exploded right now"

⁃ whenever ur on facetime and it gets quiet she just breaks out into song. not even like good, trying singing but BAD SINGING.

⁃ she does that whenever it's quiet !!!

⁃ is listening to music CONSTANTLY. her headphones are actually attached to her ears like all DAY she's listening to something.

⁃ HATES THE BIG LIGHT (iykyk) she lives for low/ natural lighting definitely has so many lamps and led lights

⁃ can never sit normal.... like she is not beating the gay ppl sitting weird allegations she sits so ODD

⁃ will spend literal hours in the pool. doing flips, pretending to be a mermaid, 'making up' her own tricks, she lives for it & !!!

⁃ refuses to dress right for the weather. it'll be like 90° outside and shes in a whole hoodie and jeans.

⁃ has the WEIRDEST subway order. probably puts banana peppers on her shit 😭😭 she swears its the best thing ever

⁃ love's campy comedy movies, esp lesbian ones and horror movies (but im a cheerleader, bottoms, scary movie, etc) also def loves coming of age movies

⁃ has a letterbox account and makes extremely thought provoking reviews

literally her

⁃ always taking candids of you, and they're literally her favorite pictures

⁃ every time she sees two things next to eachother she's like "oh my god it's literally us!!"

⁃ one time she crashed her car and it literally fully flipped over and she just crawled out of the trunk and called you like "you would NOT believe what just happened to me."

- absolutely a waffles girl she needs the texture she likes the CRUNCH

⁃ but like she also loves bacon pancakes. like she's obsessed w adventure time and she makes bacon pancakes ALL THE TIME and she sings the song while she makes them

- eats trail mix like all day....she buys the giant jars and you make fun of her cuz she "likes eating nuts"

⁃ the most secret swifty ever. like she refuses to let it be known but she fully sobbed when she listened to folklore for the first time

⁃ obsessed w those baby sensory videos. like she will literally be entertained for hours

⁃ LOVES the lego movies, esp lego batman

⁃ the MOST honest shit talker ever like you'll be like "yeah she's just a really bad person" and she'd be like "she's also like disgustingly hideous...

⁃ her search history isn’t even weird or gross its just…random. like she’s definitely googled “how do cotton candy machines work” before

⁃ family guy enjoyer.....

⁃ her cf story is like insanely long n its filled w random memes she reposts and insane ramblings

taglist!!!! if ur name is crossed i can't tag u :((

@syrenada @dinaissoprettyoml, @kingofmylastkiss @as2rid @greencacty @melissabarrerass @bratydoll @lov3lylotus @forelliesposts @echostinn @f3r4Ifr0gg3r @r3wbeef @leatheredhearts @mousymaven @mina-281@princessguardian444 @calystas-morning-tea @horror-whoree @slutshies @bearieio @mag-mfm @bubs-world @paran0id0blivi0n @sawaagyapong @bbygrIshelbs @gayh0rr0r @p|9ys @ellieslilsIvvt @dollietes @elliesmellsbadd @ibloom4u @ddreabea @beestar120 @brunettedolls-blog @girlwonderchloe @elliesgflol @maris-koffin @emonopolyman @iloveeyousblog @fr3sh-tragedies @ilovaffles @certifedcrybunny @elleatethat @baldph0bic @clouded-whispers @4rt3m1ss @saggykneecaps @swtsuna @ellesslutt @minixmel @yuyans-stuff @owmoiralover @thecowardwrites @lunascerebro @elliestrwbrry @iwantsoda @teeveegirl @dinasmoon @urnewghostfriend @k3ym4ra @bratzboydoll @ungodlyvenus @lav3nd3rhaze @scokslvoer @iloveunrealpeople @realwinehouse @nehemiahlicious @onedeaddreamer @teawithnosugar @r4t1ku5 @villainousbear @mentallymarriedtonatasharomanoff @gay4tiddies @uraesthete @lil-elliesgf @neighborhood-houseplant @sagessensationalstuff

[liggy-not-potter]

hello :3 i’m liggy, i’m 15 (a minor, don’t be creepy), ace and possibly somewhere on the aro spectrum i’m too damn lazy to find a label.

hobbies

i’m in a lot of fandoms, so i probably can’t list them all here. harry potter, both canon era and marauders (fuck jkr) and the fanfic i’m writing where harry has a sister no one knew abt. (posting that on ao3). legendborn, percy jackson (i’m not done with it so no spoilers please), mcu, the owl house, gravity falls, amphibia

i write songs and poetry, i play piano, ukulele, violin and guitar i like drawing but i’m not good at it

dni the usual. if you discriminate against any minorities or hate people solely because of a group they belong to (religion/lack thereof, race, sexuality, gender orientation)(unless it’s stuff like terfs, neo-nazis and such bullshit if it’s a group that causes harm intentionally you’re right to hate them)

random shit

i have adhd and most likely a hint of something else neurodivergent (i think it’s the tism). i’m a mess, but at least i’m not boring i’m a minor so don’t be creepy, i don’t care abt interacting with adults as long as you aren’t being a creep i refer to myself in the third person sometimes, get the fuck over it gryffindor - enfp

the rats (my moots) @jamespotterbbg — kay — my first moot, chaotic, mentally ill as the rest of this site, is the reason i’ve even interacted with half of these people @garden-of-runar — runaround — talented poet, fellow defender of bagels, absolutely and entirely concerning, you’ll never know their next move @melonhead10 — wife of mine — silly little rat, one of the only people on here i know irl, rarely online bc strict parents, if she is online it’s to look at shiny duo and tangled the series @eef-stars — british ethan — the gay dad friend of this whole hellsite. king of deactivating and coming back out of nowhere. happily in love with @kawaiibarty @kawaiibarty — james the baked bean — short, gay and irresponsible. has too many doggies but we don’t care bc doggies are great. changes his url every two seconds. in love with @eef-stars @tequilaqueen — bea — possibly an alcoholic, you’ll never know. hates bagels and commits war crimes. @crowleys-mortalcounterpart — brie — my child. genderfluid lesbian variant of remus lupin. some unknown flavor of neurodivergent. i also know them irl. @0urazz — satan — brie’s sister and my daughter. chaos incarnate, addicted to regretevator and some other random ass roblox games. one step away from being gen alpha. the attention span and brain capacity of a grain of rice. violently affectionate. ik her irl as well @thejudeduarte — jude — cruel prince and legendborn fan. really nice and sometimes chaotic. @iamaladder — stepladder (ethan’s version) — chaotic aarakocra boi, also known as old man ethan, another person i know irl @thestrawberryapologist — mari — purchaser of jams, very goofy, does silly sitcom rp with me, recently returned to tumblr after disappearing on us

interactions

blow up my ask box, tag me on stuff, and message me all you want. i love being on here and talking to people and making friends <3

my pinterest poetry side blog: @liggy-attempts-poetry outsiders oc blog: @nya-rosalie ask game: here ask game 2: here ask game 3: here

my tags: liggy rambles: all my random ass posts liggy found an ask: i answer asks liggy attempts to sing: i sing liggy attempts poetry: my (likely reblogged from side-blog) poetry nonsense liggy special: i most likely did something fucking stupid jam murder sitcom: a silly sitcom thing i do with mari to the queue you go motherfucker: my queued posts, likely because i’m out of town. liggy rambles in the tags: i rant to everyone and no one in the tags

[thumperdaetime]

A Gentle Reminder:

if you feel like you're spinning your wheels, and stuck doom scrolling this week -due to the current political landscape. I highly recommend logging off for a bit and seeing if you have the stomach to call a loved one who has political veiws that clash with your own.

social media and news coverage is fantastic for getting info out to people who want to listen, but it is an ineffective tool for actually communicating with people you disagree with.

I'm not a people-scientist but every time i see "yelling at each other online doesn't actually help" and have the energy to look into What does actually help, experts always say that it's empathetic, long term relationships between people that disagree.

so if you have a bunch of nervous political energy and no clearly helpful place to put it right now:

go call your grandmother. talk about the weather, and the way you miss her cooking. give her a real living person to picture The next time a newscaster talks about the radical-left-mob. if you talk to her regularly consider asking what she thinks about the recent political thing. you're not there to debate or prove her wrong or even change her mind. just listen to someone you love confess their fears, and then share your own fears. you are probably actually on the same side when you get down to it. you both want a safe place to live and the people you love to be happy, (most people do) its just you dont agree about how to go about that.

text your little cousin a random meme, when they send back a thing about how voting is a scam, let it go. share a vine to find out if they know the deep lore. make plans to meet up and play whatever video game they're obsessed with right now. and if the vibe is right and its not going to become an argument, try talking a bit about why the whole not voting movement scares you. don't talk down to them, talk like your two friends who respect each other's opinion (Thats The whole goal actually) ask them why they think its a good strategy, collaborate on other activist things you can do together. included them in your politics instead of dismissing their points.

and its not easy, as wild as it is to think about having a deep but pleasant conversation with your worst Uncle. the fact remains that Your Problematic & Uncle is much more likely to speak up for gay rights. if you can get to a place where you enjoy each others company, and you feel safe talking to him about your struggles as a queer person. and to be fair, you are more likely to take into account the effects of a gun ban on the local wildlife balance, if you sit through your Problematic Uncle complaining about how local restrictions made deer season hard to do last year, and now the tic population is up and the food banks are empty.

divide and conquer is a long standing tactical strategy. and we have seen that fascist in particular like to divide people into a hierarchy of ""real people""" and an ""inhuman enemy"" . when we let their rhetoric turn our peers and neighbors into an inhuman enemy, we can loose sight of what we should actually be fighting for and against.

and if you spend all your time yelling at Doug Nobody who was taking an angry shit when you were typing out that essay, you take energy away from the real fight (the systems and actual active oppressors). the best way to stop that tactic is by standing together with people outside of the box you've been assigned (as much as ethically possible). and refusing to let the system make you perpetuate usless infighting.

When we let the political fandom (yes i mean the media made around politics and not actual political action) act as a wedge between us and people who could have been in our lives, we end up with weaker support groups and less per review for political ideas. it is easy to believe Q-anon if the only people you talk to believe in Q-anon. the same way it is easy to believe that Taylor Swift is a lesbian if everyone you talk to believes Taylor Swift is a lesbian. sometimes we need a person to stop and say "wait, can you run that idea by me again? it doesn't fit my perception of reality"

and Yes. it is probably unlikely at this point to convince someone who has voted one way their whole life to change their political views before November. but that doesn't mean we dont reach-out ever. there will still be politics in September and October, you will still need a diverse support group, and people you trust to bounce political ideas off of. and if you are as worried as i am about this upcoming election, it is very possible that having a community of people who are okay with working together despite political differences will be very helpful in the coming years. (and holding a meaningful, satisfying conversation with someone you disagree with on a fundamental issue is a huge skill to have if you want to take part in alot of activism, community building, or family gatherings)

a quick list of things Op is NOT Saying in this post:

it is your duty and responsibility to do this thing and you're a bad person for not doing it.

this is really easy and everyone should be able (and willing) to take on the emotional energy needed to do this for everyone they know who doesn't agree with them.

watching news or being on social media doesn't help anything.

this is the best way to help and there are no other things you should be doing with your time/energy.

the conversations will be pleasant and/or will always have a positive outcome.

any beliefs i listed together are some how morally equivalent.

you should compromise your beliefs for the sake of getting along with others.

the best answer is most likely centrist because both sides are extremists.

voting this one time will fix all of the things and you're evil if you are conflicted about it.

voting is the best way for a single individual to enact change in their country.

i love the president, and the candidates, and the voting system, and the two parties, and the electoral college, and the bombs, and the genocide and all the death and corruption and violence its all holding up and being held up by.

we should listen to "both sides" to get a fair and balanced picture of the issue

we should let nazis, and bigots, and fascist talk openly about their ideas openly as if its not hate speech calling for violence against marginalized people.

you Have to go reconnect with your abusers and toxic relationships from your past in the hopes you can convince them to vote correctly.

the current political thing that made me make this post is The Most Important Thing!!! that has ever happened in the whole world over all of written history, and we should all be talking about it for forever, otherwise you're helping the inhuman enemy!!!

things are already fucked so theirs no point in trying to get enough votes.

things will be fine and ok if nothing changes and we just keep on this projected path forward.

i know so much and am so smart and I've solved political discourse and if only everyone listened to me we would have world peace already.

Taylor Swift is a wlw

things I am saying. now. here. at the end of the post:

be kind. go look at the sky. i love you <3

[cr1mson5returns]

Unpublished Excerpt: Leaving Catholicism Over Identity

Consider that you have an immutable, inherent quality about you that impacts everything about how you see the world, how you relate to others, and even how you relate to yourself. It can’t be wished away, it can’t be ignored, and it comes out at the most inopportune times when others feel inclined to judge and ridicule and make light of you over it. When you think about the future, it’s shaped by this quality; when you think about the past, it’s always been there, even if you couldn’t see it at first. You never chose this quality–indeed, it came to you quite like a personality trait or a cat dander allergy–but people insist that you can just not do the thing and that you should, in fact, not do the thing so that your eternal soul doesn’t suffer in flames forever. In all of this, you’re left wondering why it had to be you when you tried so hard to be good, to be something else, and yet it never worked. You could never shake that quality that left you so outside the norm, so outcast and othered. You wonder, silently, sincerely, if God even hears you when you cry out. You wonder most of all if everyone else is right about you.

This is what it feels like to be gay in a non-affirming church community. This is what drove me away from the Catholic religion. It wasn’t a desire to do bad things with no consequences, or a desire to rebel against my family, or any of those tropes. It was a sincere search of my soul in which I realized that I couldn’t just not be a lesbian, that I couldn’t just wish away all the parts of me that longed for the touch of a woman. I had tried for so long to be interested in men, I had struggled for years to just fake it until I made it, and I had to realize that it just wasn’t possible. Maybe other people could find a way to ignore some piece of themselves, but for me, it was immutable. It was non-negotiable. It was also something that, evidently, qualified me as worthy of eternal damnation unless I followed a very specific set of rules that nobody else had to follow.

I understand very well that life isn’t fair. Two suicide attempts and many years of non-suicidal self-injury taught me that life doesn’t grind to a halt just because you want it to, just because you can’t take it anymore. But something in me protested at the thought of being celibate forever. I wanted companionship like everyone else had the opportunity to have, I wanted to be with someone I loved and who loved me in return, and I was supposed to believe that was…what, sinful? That it was a disordered desire in the eyes of the Catholic Church? I couldn’t hack it. It wasn’t an issue of sin; it was an issue of being able to live with myself.

I’m also quite familiar with the red letters in Matthew 16:24 that read, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” It seems pretty simple from the outside, doesn’t it? Every good Christian has to deny their flesh; every good Christian has to take up their cross, and homosexuality is yours! But the unfairness sunk in, and the lack of compassion, and the true misunderstanding. I could deny my flesh for things that actually hurt me–and I know that because I had done it every single time I ever thought about taking a razor to my skin just to prove how worthless I really was. But wanting to feel loved, wanting to give that love in every possible way, wanting to grow old with a woman who cared about me…did that hurt anyone, least of all me?

Sure, there’s also the whole thing about sexuality existing for procreation. But nobody was stopping infertile straight people from getting married. Nobody was revoking the marriage licenses of couples who sought out fertility treatment, or adopted, or went childless because of the struggle. Besides, why was the sex I was having or not having the dominant point of the conversation, anyway? The thing about being gay is that it’s not just about who you want to bang; it’s about who you want to spend your life with, who you love, who brings you joy and receives the joy you put out into the world.

I had tried so hard to be anything other than homosexual. I really did. But it wasn’t happening, and it wasn’t happening because it wasn’t possible. Maybe other people could watch a piece of themselves wither away in hopelessness and be fine with it, but I couldn’t. Is that so sinful in the end?

[vintage-bentley]

Fandom also finally led me to terfdom as well. Not the GO fandom but still.

I’m not surprised, they’re so ridiculously homophobic and sexist that it’s hard not to stop and question things.

For me, I remember being introduced to what radfems actually believe (instead of what the TQ+ community claims they believe) while searching the makeup critical tags. Because turns out, radfems were the only ones posting things that echoed my experience of being pressured and expected to wear makeup. Then I think I started to lose faith in the whole concept of gender identity, mostly because I was starting to see how ridiculous and offensive the idea of heterosexuals calling themselves gay/lesbian/homosexual is.’ Basically just having little questions pop up in my head and finding out that radfems were the only ones with answers that made sense.

But fandom was what sort of pushed me over the edge, I think, because it’s where people go to let loose. It’s where people let their fantasies run wild. So everything you see in fandom, is the product of people’s wildest dreams. And I was seeing so much homophobia and sexism, making it clear to me that many people in the TQ+ community hold homophobic and sexist concepts close to their heart, and found a place to express that. I was always very annoyed by the GO fandom in particular, but I felt a sense of almost religious guilt over it? Like I was a Good Trans Ally, I shouldn’t be annoyed at trans headcanons. I shouldn’t feel like all of the PIV fanfic wasn’t gay, because it totally is, right?

But then repeatedly, TQ+ people showed me that they were entirely unwilling to put in even a fraction of the effort to be a gay ally, that I put in to be a trans ally. Just from seeing how hostile they were to something as simple as gay headcanons made me think “shit, if they can’t even handle the idea that a fictional character is only attracted to the same sex, what must they think of real homosexuals?” Which then led me to allowing myself to actually see the homophobia in what people said about things like “genital preference”, instead of trying to block out the discomfort I felt in fear of being “transphobic”.

Ultimately it was this essay that really showed me how much the TQ+ community hates homosexuals. Because I read it, and as a lesbian it made so much sense to me. I remember being so happy to have finally seen a perspective similar to my own; a homosexual perspective.

But commenters were bashing it as “transphobic”. Which just told me that to them, homosexuality and speaking about homosexuality is “transphobic”. And I was remembering those same sentiments being echoed by so many people outside of fandom spaces, and I had to accept that I just couldn’t associate with that ideology anymore. Not when it stood against the way I was born.

I could say so much about my whole “peaking journey” for lack of better term, but I’ve already said a lot lol.

[tangents-within-tangents]

Hi, demiro ace here to learn more about apl! If I may?

I'm kinda thinking it might be best for everyone if we don't consider apl apart of the aspec community (which is historically/currently defined as both the aro and ace spectrums only). If the umbrella gets too big it's not really helpful anymore. I definitely get how they are related with similar concepts of not experiencing a certain type of attraction, but they are also complete opposites, no? And while there are those who identify as both aro/ace and apl, these spectrums don't actually overlap like the aro and ace ones do (which is why it is helpful to talk about them together under the aspec). Like that overlap is more akin to someone who also identifies as bi or trans and apl, it's an additional identity that doesn't really have anything to do with the other, a venn diagram not a connected spectrum.

Trans identities are about gender, lesbian/gay/bi/pan/etc are about who you experience sexual/romantic attraction to, and aro/ace are about how you (do or don't) experience that attraction. But aplatonic is about friendship, about how you relate to people outside of relationships. It's not a romantic or sexual spectrum so it has as much to do with aro/ace as it does with Lgbt-etc and vice versa, right? I just feel like it would be better to view aplatonic as a separate valid thing.

Like if it sucks and feels unwelcoming to you, maybe sometimes that just means it's not the right place for you, not that the place needs to change. And I'm not saying apl-phobia is okay and we shouldn't strive to be better (esp with acknowledging the overlap), but if you are mad at the 'values platonic relationships more than romantic and/or sexual ones' community for doing just that, that's kinda aro/ace-phobic.

yea sure to YOU sexual/romantic relationships don't mean anything/are devalued/etc, but not to all of us!!

Yeah we know, it's like that with all allos in the Lgbtq+ community! What do you want asexual/aromantic people to do about that? I could say the exact same thing, "sure to YOU platonic relationships don't mean anything/are devalued, but not to all of us." We shouldn't have to make caveats in all our posts for people who are allo-romantic/sexual when that's not what we're here to talk about no more than you should have to for people who are allo-platonic. It's just counterproductive.

That's kinda like a lesbian complaining about how all gays ever talk about is how hot guys are. Where those communities do relate is in experiencing same-sex attraction (the same way ours relate in experiencing a lack of a certain attraction) and even though they may technically overlap with people who are bi/pan (like we may with people who are on both spectrums) they are still quite different and therefore considered separate groups while still being included together under the wider umbrella of queer/Lgbtqia+

I think it's clear we would benefit from a similar distinction, and I'm curious to hear what others think about this. Like maybe 'anattractional' spectrum instead can be about anything with an a- prefix referring to a lack of an attraction (the same way Lgbp can be lumped together under homosexual or SSA), while 'aspec' can still refer to just the aro/ace spectrum.

(Also, I get the frustrations with relationship hierarchies, but I just want to clarify: when alloplatonic aro/ace's say we value platonic relationships more, we mean for us. We're saying that sexual/romantic relationships are less valuable to us (esp bc that is not reflected in an amatonormative society) not that they can't/shouldn't be valuable to anyone who is allo. When we speak out against amatonormativity, it's that we want platonic relationships to be seen on the same level of value as romantic relationships in society as a whole (the same way that feminism is about equality for women, not bringing them above men). Amatonormativity and platonormativity are mutually exclusive, getting rid of one doesn't mean replacing it with the other (especially since both currently exist). The normativity is the problem, we aren't speaking against the people who happen to conform with it but those who want to enforce it. It's about the mindsets and how they are exclusionary for those who don't conform.)

being apl in aspec communties sucks sm. everything is all about how important platonic relationships are and "dismantling relationship heirarchies", while just building new ones. it feels super unwelcoming.

like yea sure to YOU sexual/romantic relationships don't mean anything/are devalued/etc, but not to all of us!! some of us LIKE those things, and MORE than platonic relationships. its like we rnt even aspec at all 2 these people, like sorry some of us go against the grain of society while still having certain ""non queer"" parts to our identity. i feel like we are seen as not aspec/lgbt enough to participate in those communities. so much about the aspec communtity is about how untalked about we are and how we are never included or thought about in discussions, but aro and ace communtities do the same to us!!!

.

[redshoes-blues]

Stranger Things is written by a team of people who care about creating good queer representation.

One argument against Byler being endgame that I’ll never understand is the “Duffers + Stranger Things team are just homophobic, they’re queer-baiting and would never make it canon” one, because that’s just clearly not true?? Like at all lol.

Robin was originally written as Steve’s love interest, but after Maya (who is herself queer) suggested the idea that Robin be a lesbian, the Duffer brothers enthusiastically agreed and rewrote the scripts to account for this change. Since then, they’ve introduced a love interest for Robin, and written one of the most beautiful m/f friendships I’ve seen on screen. Seriously, the way they handled Robin’s whole coming out story is just beautiful!

Will Byers was always supposed to be gay. The hints are there since S1. And since S2 it’s clear that his feelings are held towards Mike specifically. This was written on-purpose by the Duffer brothers. Noah has even said that he’s known for years that Will is gay, but he had to be vague in interviews because the audience wasn’t meant to catch on right away (except for queer people, who of course understand his deliberate coding).

Robin and Will are both characters were meant to love and empathize with. Both of them being good queer characters with motives and personalities outside of their sexualities is great representation.

Stranger Things director Shawn Levy was the executive producer for I Am Not Okay with This, which I’ll always be mad at Netflix for cancelling. The show starred a lesbian girl struggling with anger and newfound powers, and was set up to develop into a beautiful wlw friends-to-lovers story.

Ross Duffer is married to the absolute icon and director of the sapphic horror series Fear Street: Leigh Janiak (seriously she’s amazing and FS has some of the best wlw representation I’ve ever seen). It’s a revolutionary series for the horror genre in the way it normalizes queer relationships. And I know FS and ST are two separate entities, but the themes are quite similar, highlighting found families of outcasts and finding self-acceptance in discriminatory worlds.

Not to mention the way the cast have reacted to Will’s sexuality being *finally* confirmed as gay, and especially to suggestions that Will is in love with Mike. Remember that interview where a question suggests Will and El are love interests and everyone gets giddy and talks about Will and Mike instead?? We have such a lovely cast, full of queer icons and allies who want Will to be happy!

So yeah, no, this is a team who are very much dedicated to putting out positive queer representation. Think what you want about Byler endgame, but the Stranger Things team being homophobes who queerbait shouldn’t even be a concern, IMO.

It’s really exciting to me that in such mainstream projects as Stranger Things, we’re seeing well-written queer representation. The examples I brought up weren’t made for queer audiences, but are written with general viewers in mind. That’s important to keep in mind when we’re discussing Byler endgame, because these are writers and directors who have proven that they care about LGBTQ+ representation in mainstream media, and that makes it a realistic outcome.

[btvs3x21]

Why do you see Azula as a lesbian?

I’m just dying for more lesbian!Azula content and I’d love to read your take on it.

well first and foremost azula has no significant relationships with men she's not related to so she just doesn't give the vibe of someone who cares about men in general. like i know that's because bryke wrote her as essentially a prop to make zuko look better, but they also chose to give her only meaningful relationships outside of her family with other girls. and those relationships are so meaningful they spur on a serious psychotic break when they fall apart.

secondly, i think the way she goes about trying to get chan to like her in the beach episode is very classic comphet. the idea doesn't occur to her until she sees ty lee getting male validation and attention, and considering how azula is a faildaughter when it comes to performing femininity, that upset her a lot and made her want to compete with ty lee's femininity. there's also a very easy tyzula lens to take to that moment, and i don't disagree at all that azula's motivations are also likely fueled by jealousy of the men getting ty lee's attention. i'll take it a step further and say there's also maizula vibes there because mai and zuko immediately enter/re-enter a relationship upon being reunited, and they do pda in front of azula who looks like she hates that, so not only is azula jealous of ty lee on both an attraction level and a "why are you so much better than me at performing femininity level," she's also probably jealous of mai on those same levels.

thirdly, the way azula performs a lot of masculinity while failing at performing femininity beyond wearing makeup makes me think she feels othered from girlhood and that is super common for lesbians. so let's say in addition to failing at being gentle and kind the way girls are "supposed" to be, azula is also failing at having the right kinds of relationships with and feelings about boys. that furthers the feeling of being othered and again puts the beach in perspective.

fourthly, this is where i'm going to enter maizula propaganda levels, i think it's really easy to read maizula interactions as romantic. they're limited, yes, but starting with the very first interaction, which canonically should be maybe 2 or 3 months after the last time they saw each other because omashu's fall is recent as is mai's family assuming leadership there, starts with them both very happy to see each other, to the point that azula laughs earnestly at mai's joke. there's also, of course, that super gay half-hug thing they do because azula is aware that mai doesn't like full-on hugs and is comfortable being physically affectionate with mai. azula's lack of punishing mai for openly and repeatedly going against orders implies a weird level of trust and care that i don't think bryke ever thought about which is gay on azula's behalf. the beach implies emotional intimacy as azula casually reads mai's whole life without it even being ill-intentioned and lets mai just yell at her. again, gay. azula would not let like 99% of people yell at her with no repercussions. the boiling rock episode of COURSE reads like a breakup. i don't even have to elaborate there. the whole throuple is breaking up but the maizula breakup is the roughest one given mai is dumping azula for her brother. i could go on about this in more depth, but i'm trying to limit my maizula propaganda tbh.

lastly, i just think azula seems like a lesbian. like even if not for all the textual and subtextual evidence that accidentally supports the idea, she's got mean lesbian energy, and i love that for her.

[milaswriting]

DEMO [currently going through a rewrite] | PATREON | KO-FI

By birth, and association, you are one of the most famous people in the big city of Lehsa. Your father's the mayor, and you're from a bright, vibrant, bustling city... and yet, until recently, you didn't realise all the secrets yourself and the city held.

Humans amongst supernaturals, humans amongst half-supernaturals, all whilst the latter live in hiding.

When you return home to Lehsa to begin your postgraduate studies, you find yourself immersed into this world that you never knew existed.

Then, you find yourself, and your birthmark, at the centre of a high-profile mystery. A double homicide.

You're not a killer. The group of supernaturals you've been pushed to join forces with aren't the killers either, yet here you are with no choice but to fight and clear your names.

With secrets and mysteries to unravel left, right and centre—trust is a dangerous game.

Your fame and status aren't going to be enough to get you through. Your birthmark isn't enough either, frankly, it wasn't ever enough.

You'll be side by side with a bunch of supernaturals, and whilst discovering yourself, you'll discover a whole lot more... or you'll lose everything you know in the blink of an eye.

And though this story is far from over, tell me, golden child, are the secrets, and the lies, and the fights all worth it in the end?

This is a 16+ rated game due to depictions of violence, brief amnesia, nightmares, murder, death, strong language and eventual (optional!) non-graphic nsfw scenes.

Play as a male, female or non-binary; straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, graysexual, demisexual, asexual, touch-averse main character.

Choose your degree subject and extra-curricular activity (which have an effect in-game)

Go on crazy adventures with an unlikely group: solve a mystery or two, learn from one another, create your little found family.

Romance any of the four (supernatural) romantic options; all gender-selectable; male and female. The ros are: the demigod/dess, the werewolf, the vampire or the witch/warlock.

Spend money like the damn rich kid you are.

Go from rich uni student to being a valued member of the supernatural community... or they can hate you. Feel free to decide.

Find out what your birthmark really means...

And at the end of the day, your story isn't about being rich, it isn't about being the child of a well-known mayor.

It's about the mark you're going to leave on the world... and the mark I'm talking about isn't the one that glistens on your forearm.

THE DEMIGOD/DESS

Their heart is under lock and key, but they wouldn't mind it being opened.

With the weight of Ancient Greece on their shoulders and as a distant relative of Goddess Athena, some would Athalia/Asher Dempsey has a right to be... prickly. Though, many would go against that, but frankly, they don't care what you think. They're the headstrong, 'action now, speak later’, stoic, sarcastic half-deity with a million guards up. Get past the snide remarks and cold demeanour, you'll gain their loyalty. And maybe, when you get a guard down, you'll gain something more.

THE WEREWOLF

They stayed soft in a world so hard.

Gleaming eyes, soft smiles, a heart of gold; Blaire/Blaze Holden is a gem—even when their own mind and body are in a fight with one another... literally, B hates being a werewolf. Despite their insecurities, someone so witty, confident and emotionally intelligent is an absolute ride or die. But maybe you'll be the one to fall for them, and protect them from the very same thing that destroys them. Themself.

THE VAMPIRE

It's all just bravado to keep them safe. Be their safety net.

A flirt. A charismatic, dimpled, flirt. Kiana/Kaidan de la Renta, on the outside, is your typical introverted, confident vampire. But beneath the profanities, the lopsided smirks, diamond earrings, and denim/leather jackets, you'll find something much more tender. A sensitive personality, a broken soul... literal bravado and a desperate cry for help. And even though relationships aren't their thing, and the other side of their bed is empty and cold, making a connection with someone is something they crave.

THE WITCH/WARLOCK

They're pure magic, darling.

Okay, granted, Phoebe/Phoenix Martens is much more than the magic that runs through their veins and bursts from their fingertips. The (fake) blonde, blue-eyed magical being has a sharp, intelligent mind, they're the type of calm you want to have before, during, and after a storm — the suave European that cares more about others than any kind of ego. Yet with the seemingly perfect life, they're the one that's never chosen. Take the leap. Choose to love them.

Current word count: 308,652

Reblogs are appreciated <3

[22degreehalo]

So: be forwarned. This is traumadumping. If you don't want to deal with that, please do not!!!!!!!

But. You say that you can be 'firmly embedded in the queer community without ever identifying as queer.' How? How can I do that, when the queer community has caused me so much long-lasting pain, and cares so minimally to help people like me?

I am aro/ace. I figured that oit about myself right around ace discourse's emergence. To this day I am still fucked up about it. (Yes, that's pathetic. I don't ever expect an IRL therapist to understand or be moved by it. It's not how any normal person would react.)

I was told, repeatedly, that I wasn't wanted, that I was invading, that my very existence there was damaging and hurtful to gay people, because they are made to feel ashamed of their sexual attractions. We were mocked viciously, and told over and over that we were just pathetic overprivileged babies who needed to be taught what 'real oppression' looked like. Everything I felt was a joke; my pain was stupid and laughable and nothing worth taking seriously.

I have never seen anyone apologise for that. And even though it doesn't get spoken outright anymore, it never got refuted, either. It forms the backing of what so, so many queer people still believe.

I never see people talking about aro/ace oppression. Outside EXTREMELY limited circles. NOBODY talks about the rates of sexual assault against us. NOBODY talks about our difficulties surviving financially in a society built for couples (actually my main concern when I started realising myself, and what made me scared to think I was aro/ace rather than bi!!!) Even when aspecs are included, it's almost always as an off-handed bonus rather than something focused or deliberate. We're just people who don't really care for having sex much!!! Not at all capable of the same range of emotions and reactions to our identity as other sexualities!!

And this is NOT JUST AN ONLINE THING. I went to an LGBTQ+ leadership meeting once, and I was the ONLY one to mention being aspec, out of 30 people. At our local queer festival, out of hundreds of acts, only ONE mentioned asexuality (nothing for aromanticism, of course). I went to it. The house it was held at had flags for every orientation you could imagine - except ace and aro.

I went to a huge bookstore last year, which has a whole entire section just for LGBT+ books. (Maybe this is normal in the US? In Australia it isn't!) I spent a full hour in there, meticulously going through them all, and could not find ONE SINGLE BOOK that seemed to engage aro and/or aceness beyond a line or two or a glossary. One book claimed to love the full clunky LGBTQIA+ acronym because it reminds us of everyone who matters, and then forgot to mention us (talking about 'gay, transgender, bisexual' etc. people) two paragraphs later. Another had a double-spread on bisexual erasure, yet the only page referencing asexuality was dedicated to delicately warning the reader about 'getting too in the weeds with microlabels.' I don't presume I found EVERY aspec reference in there, but I was actively searching for them, and my results were miserable.

And, no, not even real life friends help!!!!!! I'm far from my only friend with aspec leanings, and yet EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. identifies more with a trans or lesbian identity, or not at all. I am the only one who seems to actually care about being aro/ace at all. And I don't blame them!!!!! If I could identify as lesbian or trans, and have that community and support and intellectual framework for caring about myself? I'd do it in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!! But I CAN'T. It's not me.

And, just to top it off? When I do try to engage with the aspec community directly? Thay doesn't work, either!!!!! Most of them (especially on reddit) hate porn and masturbation, and want to tell the world that they're happy being aspec and that it's not a sad thing at all. Whereas I'm the opposite: I'm not sex repulsed (at least r.e. porn etc.), i have multiple weird kinks, and being aspec has changed my life in so many ways for the worse. I want to tell people that! I want to make things better!!!!! But when I see people try, they keep getting stifled because 'try thinking about how it affects other asexuals to see people spreading negativity like that. :/'

I've identified as part of thee queer community for half my life. I worked manically on marriage equality. My special interests mostly revolve around queer fiction and analysis, of which I've written plenty. And through it all, I've only felt more and more like an outsider.

How can I not, when my thoughts and feelings on my sexuality really do seem so unusual? When nobody else seems to care in the SLIGHTEST what I go through? When, at this point, picking up queer media immediately brings up a pit of dread in my stomach, because I know it'll have nothing for people like me at all, and the guilt that comes with that, because I should be happy that other queer people are doing so much better now? How can I stop this build-up of horrible associations - fear, anxiety, shame, and impossible loneliness?

Maybe the solution is to stop wanting for things to change and just be happy as they are. But I just can't bring myself to abandon my scared younger self like that. I wished so badly for the kind of person I'm trying to be, bringing up aspec oppression when it has been ignored and treating us with the intellectual and emotional care I craved.

But it's so fucking hard. I'm so tired of working and working and seeing nothing change. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm maybe the only person who even cares about this - if the ace discoursers were right and I am just some pathetic loser 'trying to be oppressed.' I'm so tired of searching for commonality and finding it in crumbs at best.

I know I'm probably just terminally online and need to make Real Friends. (I'm autistic. Big, varied social spaces just don't work well for me.) That's what the queer community does, right? Discourse and divisions are imaginary! In the Real World, queer people are fucking and falling in love with one another every day! Because that's what it means for communities to support one another! (And it's divisive and absurd for me to feel uncomfortable with this metaphor, too.)

So. How do I do it? How do I belong in a community that mostly does not want me, and has over time caused me as much harm as help?

(Well. The real answer is that I have no fucking choice, because it's not like straight people are any better. C'est la vie.)

Listen, you were given one wild and precious life, please do not waste it by dividing yourself and others from community.

I have this friend, who was in the process of figuring out some things around their identity, and again and again, they separated themselves from the queer community for some reason or another, giving distance as a form of imposters syndrome, and it broke my heart because they were a part of my queer family. Not in the static way of knowing a person's exact set of labels and being able to quantify where they may have landed on the Kinsey scale, but in the way that mattered.

They were my queer family because I knew I could rely on them to listen and reshape their view of the world again and again to make room for me. They were my queer family because they loved me and my wife fiercely and with an ardent devotion that is usually saved for biological relations. They were my queer family because I knew I could rely on them to fight for my queerness and be outraged when I was just exhausted.

Just as I believe that you can be a queer person and never choose to connect with the queer community, I also believe that you can be deeply embedded in the queer community without ever having to identify as queer.

Anyways, so much love in my heart for queer family today. From the past, the people who have known and kept secret, who have known and loved, who have known and learned. From the present, the people who are working to understand, the people who care so much, the people who are angry when we are scared. And, of course, in the future, thank you for joining us, thank you for being family, thank you for holding the world to a higher standard.

[firespirited]

Weird day today. Had a very nice but subtly unnerving surprise meeting with an old friend of the family. She brought up dad which was expected but the religious language and contextualising everything was tough: "you and us are doing ok because we're children of gd" "gd brings us together" "gd protect us from evil" type stuff along with usual gd willing, thank gd, gd is good language.

I handle references to faith just fine culturally in Arabic, it's a little less culturally comfortable in French (or even English) but it's also not something I can reply to except with a polite nod that doesn't say yes but "I hear you".

It brought up a lot of complex emotions about half a dozen things as these things do when you've been rejected or hurt by people with gd as a reason. Also a painful reminder that I need to establish religious boundaries again with family again because I do take words seriously and don't want to be praying or agreeing to prayer because its uncomfortable to say that I'd rather not - after all it is as a matter of respect, if gd is real I refuse to treat communication with Them as trivial.

It was lovely to see she and her family are well. She speaks very fast so I wasn't able to say that I'm very happy for her lesbian daughter even as I could see her skirt around it like she thinks I might be biased against it (Honey no! Even as a tween when I was still christian, I thought any couple willing to commit for life and actually take those 'all circumstances' vows was to be celebrated. Of the dozens of red flags to not approve a marriage, being gay seemed totally illogical to me. Besides the passages about mlm and wlw were clearly in context about getting it on outside of marriage for social or ceremonial reasons and saying it's not real sex because it's not P in V and like A) we'd covered ancien greeks getting freaky in school and B) this was the Monica Lewinski era: everyone in the western world debated whether only P in V/hetero constitutes cheating. As a kid I didn't see it but after Lewinski? Those passages are clearly about what counts as cheating).

And I'll be totally honest, I was so relieved: the first two daughters married macho abusive dirtbags and are now married to new nicer if not exactly groundbreakingly feminist blokes but M's got her stable girlfriend turned wife, and while wlw relationships aren't without heartbreak and high drama, she has a lot better odds of an equal relationship.

I came home and crashed, napped for a while, then had to go do something... anything... because I wasn't in a great headspace so bad news from a friend via sis sent me and her spiralling about medical malpractice/neglect, I went for a second walk - it helped a little. I damaged a doll I was fixing up because I was tired,

Watched Wakanda Forever: excellent potential, same vast talent but obviously made in a rush (bits are clearly missing or chopped to be used in a different way), the underwater world was a blurry dark mess (and that would have been so cool if we could see it!) and I couldn't bear to see them fighting (over what seemed so trivial compared to the real threats), finally we get to see Shuri process 1 thing in between... she's got a whole lot more but hey she's got 1 down. I mean you don't get character study films in the MCU, you get a 3 minutes for Gamora or Rocket to address their lifelong traumas so not bad at all for a Marvel. I just can't with a blockbuster attempting to handle grief while still making a hero action movie, it expects you to imagine a lot of offscreen growth and processing. I don't like seeing characters with potential done dirty like that. I'd rather read whatever tie-in books expand the universe because they *had* to put 45 minutes of fight and explosion scenes.

The costumes were incredible as always but yeah not in the mood to see Wakanda attacked while the CIA rub their hands in glee.

Then there's an unfortunate subtext of a skeptic finding faith after doing all the rituals right which was just the wrong day for me to take it charitably. I'm happy for her. Really. I'm also jealous.

Science tells us little gay boys grieve when they realise, even on a subconcious level, that they're not getting the happy ending of the wife and two kids, it leaves a void and they have to reshape themselves as adults to fill that wife shaped hole society told them would be filled.

I hope that changes now that gay marriage is normalised and seen more. I hope more and more folks can find completeness without needing one special person to complete them.

Now when you're a religious kid, you're given an extra void to shape yourself around, one that will be filled by the divine. It will give you confidence purpose and love, and reshaping yourself is difficult because this isn't just the missing piece of your soulmate but your entire existence and reason for being. Being single from the spiritual is felt like a permanent failure at being human.

Among many things today, I was reminded today of what it felt like to be looked at as 'soulless', a 'lost' soul at best and how that's legit how I saw myself and on some level still sort of do.

I'll rewatch Wakanda forever on a better day and skip the fights. Hopefully by then someone has fixed the colour and brightness on the underwater scenes.

[vampish-glamour]

(1/2) You ever think how "I'm so gay" is just a way of saying "hot"? Where a straight person would say something like "I want to motorboat her tits" or "I've never wanted to suck a dick so bad", tumblr gays will go "not to be GAY... but o,,,,h m y. G o D ! ! hngnngngnggn jesus chRISt". With lesbians this is seems especially bad. Ime (I'm a lesbian myself) it's rare to see a lesbian openly express her attraction without these weird contortions even outside of tumblr.

"so gay" anon (2/2) I wonder how much of it has to do with demonization of sexuality both male and female (you don't want to sound like an icky STRAIGHT MAN, the horror! vs women in general being judged for expressing attraction vs lesbians in particular struggling against the sexsless "uwu soft gorls flower crowns" stereotype), and how much of it has to do with wanting to signal an in-group and a stereotypically female need to make it like a communal experience (tumblr being mostly afab).

Oh, absolutely.

(Future me coming back here after I wrote my response. Buckle up, I have Thoughts.)

You’re right on the money here, especially since it’s something I’ve experienced myself.

There’s so much demonization and weird expectations around sexuality. Including but not limited to;

Demonizing people who express sexual attraction to women, viewing them as “predatory”

The experience lesbians specifically often have with feeling alienated from their straight girl peers (not being able to do typical platonic things found in female friend circles like hugging, braiding hair, holding hands, etc. Without fearing being seen as predatory)

Thinking all straight men are just straight up rapists

Seeing sexual attraction as icky and impure, and favouring romanticized “she has such pretty hair”, “I want to kiss her cheek”, “I want to hold her hand in a flower field”, etc.

As far as the last point goes, you’re absolutely right that it happens mostly with wlw (especially lesbians though since unlike bi women we’re only attracted to women, so it’s our whole attraction that’s affected. And the word “lesbian” itself is often seen as inherently gross and predatory. Not saying this doesn’t affect bi women—because it does—just making the distinction).

Look through any wlw, sapphic, or lesbian tag on Tumblr. It’s likely to be filled with all these cutesy things that often infantilize same sex attraction to women. Calling women “girls”, talking about how “pretty” they are, talking about flowers a lot for some reason, and honestly the overall tone that’s used which is very “uwu innocent soft girl”. So eventually you get bombarded with things like “omg girls are so pretty, just look at how their hair twirls, I just wanna braid flowers into it, I’m so gay”.

And everyone’s scared to go further than that and go into the gross sexual territory—because if anybody dares to express sexual attraction towards women? They’re evil and misogynistic and predatory. If you’re wlw and you’re doing it? Omg, you’re making women unsafe in locker rooms!! What, are you looking at them???

Sorry, this is sort of turning into a rant on how suppressed wlw sexuality is. Because it bothers me so much. And yes, I was 100% somebody who would say “omg not to be gay but”/“wow I’m gay”/“I’m having gay thoughts right now”/etc. In place of “wow, that lady is hot”. So it’s something that’s personal and close to home for me.

Point is, you’re so right and you should say it. Because this is such a common problem. I think it could also be a result of same sex attraction being so sexualized (in the case of men it’s usually to portray SGA as “icky, in the case of women it’s usually to make porn), and SGA people feeling the need to push back against that and say “no, look, we’re just as pure as you are!!”.

It’s a lot of things coming together and working against us. And now we have “I’m so gay” as a way to express attraction without having to deal with the negative repercussions of expressing attraction as a gay/bi person, especially a gay/bi woman.

Despite all this, I think that there genuinely is a problem with people throwing around “I’m so gay” without any of these things factoring in. Because I see people saying things like “I like iced coffee, I’m so gay haha” or “I’m so gay, I can’t even drive”. That I think is just a result of the word “gay” being watered down so much, so now it means “quirky” instead of “homosexual”.

But where it’s used in place of “wow that’s hot” or “holy shit she’s gorgeous”, or anything of the sort? Absolutely a result of the demonization around same sex attraction.

So to sum my thoughts up, because I think this is really important to talk about;

Sexual attraction is still seen as “impure”. This goes double for same sex sexual attraction.

Any sexual attraction to women is seen as predatory. Often due to homophobia, it’s seen as worse when it comes from wlw.

To escape being seen as gross and predatory, wlw (and honestly SGA people in general) have adopted a culture of purity, femininity, romanticism, and flowery prose to come off as anything but sexual.

This leads to language like “that’s so hot” being replaced with more acceptable alternatives like “I’m so gay”. This way the feelings of attraction can be communicated, but not explicitly because that would be Bad.

[thatsjustsupergirl]

Personally, I don’t think the Danvers sisters content was that bad; it just needed room to breathe. I think the show is scratching at an interesting final character arc for Kara, but isn’t dedicating the time it needs. There’s something really interesting at the heart of that debate, where Kara is stuck on how things had to be for her (maybe even jealous of Esme) and Alex is saying things don’t have to be that way for Esme, which is ironic coming from Alex, but the show didn’t give it enough time, particularly when there’s been so little sister content this season. I guess what I’m saying is that, if they had built this argument up over a few episodes and given it a more defined, positive resolution, I think it would have worked better, but I’m not opposed to it on principle. On a different note, I know she’s somewhat inexplicably popular with the fandom right now, but I do totally agree that friging William for Andrea was a crap move.

so, first: i agree with you that the pacing has been uneven and that’s part of the problem. second: i have wanted the show to explore Alex’s biases and prejudices against aliens since they brought it up in Season 2. because she has some! just like she had some biases she was oblivious to when it came to Kelly!

but instead we got this episode, which,,,,, pulled some White Gayze nonsense and textually supported Alex even though her opinion was, objectively, wrong— and then left no hint that they’re going to revisit this conflict in the remaining episodes.

and that’s a problem, because i have been wondering since we saw Kara’s courage gauntlet if confronting Alex was part of the emotional price that she wouldn’t push herself to pay. (especially since Nyxly’s was also about her sibling and feeling betrayed!)

beyond that, their fight was a shoddily-contrived conflict that existed to set up Kara ~learning a lesson about herself~ in the finale without giving Kara any emotional voice at all, again.

Alex literally asked for Kara’s help with Esme’s powers two episodes ago because she was so afraid this kid would hurt herself, or others.* Alex deferred to Kara’s intervention when she was overanxious with Esme when they brought her home. like, the time gap between episodes this season is shorter than it is in a normal year, not longer. It’s been, at best, two weeks since those interactions. there is no reason for Kara to think her help is no longer wanted.

(*note: they didn’t even leverage the fact that Alex’s immediate family contains the two most powerful aliens on planet Earth and if Esme is constantly at risk of harm because she copies powers then Alex can’t even safely spend time with her own family.)

not only that, not once has Alex been the person to talk about her family’s experiences as a mixed race/species family. Kelly’s brought it up. Kara’s brought it up. Alex is like “oh, right” every time. her blind spot here is so huge she didn’t even tell Esme that Kara was an alien when she first introduced them, despite knowing their powers could clash in a scary or dangerous way!

so, for the show to present Alex as right in saying she’s suddenly the expert because she watched Kara’s life from the outside, while actively contributing to Kara’s sense of isolation, is a problem. her claim that things are Better— a stance she pointedly has not agreed with whenever Kara’s tried to advocate for owning her identity in the past five seasons— is played as certainty, rather than her maybe reflecting on her own hand in making her sister feel conflicted about who she is. and then we have Alex toss out her identity as a lesbian in a false equivalence argument that white gays frequently used to shut down BAME voices in real life regarding discrimination? and that’s also played like an untouchable truth? screw that. especially since Alex and Kelly had a whole giant conversation about her prejudices like,,,,, a month ago, in show time.

the most infuriating part, to me, is that if they’d played it like Alex’s end of this conflict was her anxiety/perfectionism struggle and her fear that Kara is just. inherently better than her at things or better-suited to this part of raising her child than she is, then that would have felt interesting and character-true. instead it just felt like some insecure person in the writers’ room wanted to soapbox about being judged for their parenting, and like they as a group learned absolutely nothing from their diversity intervention five episodes ago.

so, yes, i’m absolutely gonna judge these messages about parenting, because this show was actively praised for years for doing a really, really good job at depicting the challenges and nuances of adoptive and blended families … and there is none of that in Season 6. everybody loves everybody and after one episode there are magically no struggles with trauma and reluctance to trust. Alex is shouting about being The Mom even though she’s known this kid for five minutes and it’s not guaranteed that they’ll get to keep her yet. there’s not even any narrative urgency about this pointless child endangerment plot jeopardizing Alex’s adoption plans even though 6x08-6x12 focused on discrimination and how the system is stacked against minorities. (and, you know, there’s her whole arc in season three about stepping back from dangerous work because it inherently conflicts with her parenting wants/needs.) and, worst of all, #StrongerTogether is nowhere to be found within this conflict, not even as subtext.

anyway, i do not see envy from Kara here. she framed her advice as “hey, this is what our parents did for me, and for as much as i chafed at it as a teenager, it was genuinely helpful in the long run” in response to an emotional kinship she felt with Esme. because she was trying to help navigate the challenging powers, like she’d been asked to. also, she wasn’t saying that Esme should hide or be ashamed of herself. she was just saying that giving her a life vest would be better than throwing her headfirst into the pool and hoping she’ll swim.

tl;dr i was really excited for all the pieces of this storyline to come together because it should have been deeply rooted in who Alex and Kara are individually and together, and should have been reinforcing the family story that was the heart of this show, and instead it’s been given all the depth of someone crossing items off a grocery list.

[commajade]

This ask might go a bit off the rails but: I’ve been meaning to ask you this and your conversations about the reaction to the hometown cha cha cha lesbians (congrats to them btw 🎉) is kinda up this alley, but there was this post going around about how squid game was a) racist because they only had one brown person in the show and because said brown person was killed off and b) homophobic for that one scene with wi ha joon and that old VIP guy. And it just. Really rubbed me the wrong way. Like first I felt like the person was just saying shit to say shit, like trying to find something new and unique to say about a super popular show. But even if they were right or kind of had a point, I really felt like, unless THEY were Korean it’s really not their place to be making these judgements and accusations. Even if those choices were racist/homophobic that’s none of MY business as an American viewer because this is a Korean show. Their own history and reasons and issues for those choices has nothing to do with me as a viewer because ultimately I’m viewing this as an outsider. Idk if that makes sense but I feel like this is always my problem with Americans who watch foreign media, especially when it’s non-white. They just come in and accuse everything of being bigoted or bad as some kind of trump card and it’s like, even if they’re right that’s really none of their business. ESPECIALLY because they act like they were the first people to notice this. As if the people from these countries haven’t noticed these issues in their media and haven’t been working against it this whole time. Because at the end of the day, the biggest thing white people don’t know is WHY these issues are even there (I.e US imperialism being the root cause of homophobia in Korean society) so they just disregard any nuance and come with the take of “I’m holier than thou for not watching kdramas because they’re homophobic” idk. Idk. There’s a lot more I wanna say that might make more sense but I hope you get what I’m tryna say lol. (Also I don’t think the op for the post I’m talking was white/American I think they’re Chinese, but I still don’t feel like that changes much)

uhhhhh. i actually think those r perfectly valid criticisms of the show. those r claims u can make without being korean but there's a lot of room to be wrong and offensive in those arguments and that person seems to have been wrong. like "ali is the only brown character and is killed off" makes no sense on a show set in a historically ethnically homogenous country and where the entire cast is killed off except for the protagonist. also there's plenty of valid criticisms that white people aren't allowed to make cuz they should keep quiet instead. ur absolutely right that for many people it's none of their business and they should direct that energy into pressuring the US military to close their south korea army bases lol. and u probably know how i feel about english speakers calling korea/kmedia homophobic (am moved to physical violence). i'm actually happy ur bringing up those things like how people are so willing to demonize korean media as problematic or cringey and ignoring the constant activism and protesting and fighting south korea's known for.

but anyway the vip thing is 100% an accurate depiction of sex tourism and sex crimes that rich white tourists get away with in korea and every other colonized country. but is it a homophobic narrative choice as the only depiction of gay anything in the show? probably? ali is 100% a token not korean character but like. the entire cast was killed off besides gihun and ali's literally another asian person in an all asian cast you can't call it racist. his character is informed by class based stereotypes as a migrant worker but like carefully chosen to be a sympathetic depiction of his kind of story. this is a fable and every character is an archetype. is there colorism and xenophobia inherent in his character as a token brown migrant worker? yes. but it's not racism and it wasn't an offensive depiction at all imo, tho i'm open to being corrected.

[writing-with-olive]

The Stonewall Riots of 1969

1) Current State of Being (it was not good, fam, not good)

To set the scene, we’re in the late sixties. We’ve won the second World War, and suddenly everyone’s dealing with the fact that the patriotic frenzy America has been whipped into isn’t really having the same purpose it used to. Thing is, everyone’s still really heated along the basic lines of DEATH TO COMMUNISM AND ALSO COMMUNISTS. During the war, this was helpful. It created a sense of unity. But once the war was over, attention turned inward.

At this time, there was also research that queer people were "sex perverts" and a government report even came out saying

"The lack of emotional stability which is found in most sex perverts and the weakness of their moral fiber, makes them susceptible to the blandishments of the foreign espionage agent [...] the pervert is easy prey to the blackmailer.

This same report also cited a case of a gay man "who's homosexuality was used by the Russians [who were communist] to recruit him as a double agent before world war 1." Basically, the overall gist was that gay people were believed to either be communists now, or they would become communists because their brains were weaker.

Alrighty, but why were they easy prey? First, when it came to communism, they were just as susceptible as anyone else, but after steep laws against queer people were passed, blackmail became pretty real.

So... yeah, let's talk about a couple laws that were in place in the late sixties, shall we?

For the crime of sleeping with a consenting partner in the privacy of your own home you could face anything from:

A light fine

Five, ten or twenty years in prison

A life sentence

Electrical shock therapy

Castration

In addition, to target trans people, police had also dug out a law from the nineteenth century that was originally passed to supress angry tenant farmers who would don disguises and demonstrate against their landlords (law found in subsection 4 of section 240.35 of the New York Penal Code). The law stated that individuals could not wear more than three items of clothing that did not match their assigned gender at birth.If an officer thought you were breaking this law, they could arrest you and take you to a bathroom or similarly private location and have an officer who matched your presented gender either do a strip search or pat you down there to see if things matched.

Things got especially bad when New York realized they’d have to “clean up the place” in preperation for hosting the World Fair. In part, this meant a heavy crackdown on the gay community, and by extention, gay bars.

2) The Genovese Crime Family and Stonewall

At around this time, the Mob was starting to notice that gay bars were an excelent source of profit - since the prohibition era (1920-1933), limited access bars and speakeasies had popped up everywhere and since the gay community already couldn’t be themselves on the streets, they retreated to these more sheltered locations.

Three mafia members decided to open a gay bar because ohhh boy could you rake in some serious profit. Combined, the three of them put up $3500 to “renovate” the Stonewall Inn (which had gone through itterations of being a straight nightclub, straight bar, and gay restaurant in a sort of irregular cycle). 

Renovations included building a stage to dance on, painting the walls black, and getting a jukebox. No running water, no fire exit, just the bare minimum. It certainly wasn’t legal.

When they opened (as a bottle club to get around pesky liquor laws), the bouncer would look through a little slat in the door and if you had a codeword or looked sufficiently gay, he’d let you in. You then had to sign up to be a part of the club (about a dollar) and write your name down on a sheet of paper. Of course, no one wrote down their real names. 

The liquor in question was stolen, to begin with, and then heavily watered down with... questionably clean water, and then sold at about three times the original price in half-cleaned glasses (glasses were dunked in a bucket and then reused). Since none of the patrons really had high expectations anyway, they went with it. Needless to say, however, Stonewall was not a particularly nice place to be.

With all the money the trio raked in, a cut had to go to the Mafia man who controlled the district, and another cut went to paying of the notoriously corrupt 6th Precinct, to avoid getting the whole place shut down. 

Because they were payed off, the police would only conduct their mandated raids early in the night before things got going, and on weekdays - this was when there weren’t a ton of people there, and it was easy to make it look like nothing was amiss.

3) The Raid (this is where shit gets real)

First of all, the thing is - no one knows why it happened. It just.... did.

On June 28th, 1969, at about 2am, the night was in full swing. The bar was crammed full of people dancing and drinking. The air was stuffy as usual and quite dark. 

Then the bright flourescent lights come on - the signal that there was a raid and to seperate and to look less gay. The police came through, and called that they were making arrests. Everyone needed to line up against the wall and have their ID’s ready. Of course this was an issue, because just about everyone was legally not supposed to be at stonewall. 

As the police began taking people outside, a crowd was going - raids at this time were... unusual to say the least. Some of the queens went into the back of the police cars without much of a fight - obviously they were terrified, but it didn’t look like there was much they could do.

One of them, however, and no one knows who for sure, was having none of this. Though Marsha Johnson and Sylvia Rivera have both been suggested as the starter of the riot, both have denied it, saying it was someone else. Storme DeLarverie, however, has both accepted and denied it was her. In an interview where she confirmed herself as the starter, she described her reaction, saying:

“The cop said ‘Move f****t’, thinking that I was a gay guy. I said, ‘I will not! And, don’t you dare touch me.’ With that, the cop shoved me and I instinctively punched him right in the face. He bled! He was then dropping to the ground - not me!”

She then turned to the crowd and yelled “why don’t you all do something?”

This was when things transformed. Objects started to fly. It was like someone had just punched a hole through the dam holding back the collective anger of the queer community.

A lot of the queer street kids, homeless, desperate, and with nothing to lose, were at the forefront of the fight, throwing anything from stones to pennies to bottles. Here’s the thing: no one really liked Stonewall - it wasn’t particularly nice or inviting or anything like that, but it was THEIRS and they were going to fight like hell for it.

Those being pulled out of the Inn started fighting back too - throwing what they could, kicking, punching, pushing back against the police. Marsha Johnson, a woman some have referred to as “basically a lesbian superhero” even climbed a telephone pole and threw an unidentified heavy object at a police car, shattering the window. 

It was chaos and the crowd was still building. The flying objects didn’t stop, and it wasn’t like anyone had great aim - they were just as likely to hit a fellow protester - but there was a sense of comraderie and it made the police nervous. They were calling for reinforcements, but none were coming.

Finally, one of the police chiefs decided they had to retreat into Stonewall. They grabbed a few people as hostages and dissapeared inside, and barricaded the door. The inside of the Stonewall Inn was a wreck. The jukebox had been smashed. Same with the stage, the bathroom mirrors, and the cash register. Broken furniture was strewn on the floor.

Outside, the rioters had yanked a parking meter out of the ground and were trying to bash their way through the door, using it like a battering ram. Each thud made the officers even more nervous, and the captain, realizing things could turn from bad to horrific and deadly commanded his officers not to shoot unless he shot first. He went up to each one, commanding them individually by name, saying that if they shot without his direct sayso, they would be spend the rest of their police careers with only the worst possible jobs. To their credit, no one shot.

Outside, reinforcements finally arrived, armed in full riot gear - helmets, plastic shields, those club/baton things. They came forward in a full on phalanx. Then it started getting really ugly. People ended up lying on the sidewalk with blood coming from their heads or injured in other ways. The crowd started falling back, step by step. Finally, many of them ran.

But not to flee. Instead, they went all the way around the block and came up behind the reinforcement officers. Surprised that there was a new attack coming from behind, it was the police that began to loose the ground, and were forced to retreat back, back, back.

It was into the late, late hours of the night when the riots finally died down to nothing, the last of the crowd finally dispersed, exhausted.

4) The Next Day (aka a giant middle finger to the cops)

The shattered glass sparkled in the morning light the next day - a tribute to what had gone down the night before. 

That night, the crowds around stonewall were huge. And it wasn’t just the queer community - the anti-war protesters and Black Panthers had joined in, standing against the even larger ranks of officers. The night before was a tipping point, but if momentum was to keep going, there needed to be sustained effort.

Inside, the Inn was back to normal. The Mafia had repaired the stage, gotten a new cash register, and even replaced the jukebox. It was if the efforts of the police had never even happened. Throughout the night, the queer community went in and out as though everything were totally normal - as if the police didn’t matter.

The riots were even worse than the night before, but the police couldn’t gain any ground.

Despite what was happening and the triumphs of the queer community, the press was a little less enthusiastic, aiming to diminish what had happened, taking the viewpoint of the police, or claiming the riots happened because of a celebrity’s death, and not the decades upon decades of oppression.

5) The Impact (how we got to today)

A year later, a lot of the Stonewall participants gathered to commemorate the movement. There were now several activism groups that had grown since the riots, but there needed a way to keep it growing - keep the flame from dying out.

One woman proposed that they have a march like the Civil Rights movement and Anti-war protesters were having. As soon as the question filled the space, there was unanimous consensus. Yes - they were to march.

It was terrifying. One member remembered fearing that only ten or so people would show up - that it was only going to make them into a laughingstock and nothing more. Indeed, many people had shown up with popcorn to “watch the f*gs” - it was seen almost as a show or performance. 

But the moment was anything but. When the member looked back, in apprehension, what he saw wasn’t ten or the anticipated couple hundred people. No more than two thousand people had joined the parade. And not just the queer community - straight New Yorkers were there too. It was a moment of solidarity, and a demand for justice.

Every year since, there have been pride marches around the country, memorium to the community, and to the fight we’ve been fighting for a very long time, and to the patrons of Stonewall Inn who finally decided enough was enough.

6) Sources (because apparently trusting an unsourced tumblr posts is seen as an academic no-no)

(all in MLA because I just copy/pasted them from my research notes and also MLA feels official and all that)

Yardley, William. "Stormy DeLarverie, Early Leader in the Gay Rights Movement, Dies at 93." The New York Times, 29 May 2014, www.nytimes.com/2014/05/30/nyregion/storme-delarverie-early-leader-in-the-gay-rights-movement-dies-at-93.html?_r=0. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

Brown, Dalvin. "Marsha P. Johnson: Transgender Hero of Stonewall Riots Finally Gets Her Due." USA Today, 27 Mar. 2019, www.usatoday.com/story/news/investigations/2019/03/27/black-history-marsha-johnson-and-stonewall-riots/2353538002/. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

Burey, Jodi-Ann. "'It Wasn't No Damn Riot': Celebrating Stonewall Uprising Activist Storme DeLarverie." The Riveter, Feb. 2017, theriveter.co/voice/it-wasnt-no-damn-riot-celebrating-stonewall-uprising-activist-storme-delarverie/. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

Carter, David. Stonewall: The Riots That Sparked the Gay Revolution. 2nd ed., New York, St. Martin's Griffin, 2010.

Duberman, Martin B. Stonewall. New York, Plume, 1993.

Edsall, Nicholas C. Toward Stonewall: Homosexuality and Society in the Modern Western World. Charlottesville [Va.], U of Virginia P, 2003.

Kristi K. "Something like a Super Lesbian: Storme DeLarverie (In Memoriam)." The K Word, edited by Kristi K, 28 May 2014, thekword.com/2014/05/28/something-like-a-super-lesbian-storme-delarverie-in-memoriam/. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

---. "Something like a Super Lesbian: Storme DeLarverie (In Memoriam)." The K Word, edited by Kristi K, 28 May 2014, thekword.com/2014/05/28/something-like-a-super-lesbian-storme-delarverie-in-memoriam/. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

"The Stonewall You Know Is a Myth. And That's O.K. | NYT Celebrating Pride." YouTube, uploaded by The New York Times, 31 May 2019, www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7jnzOMxb14. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

(not in mla sorry) - PBS’s Stonewall Uprising (documentary)

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