#even in the deep lore for us cause it doesnt stop being that

[fruitsofhell]

I can agree that Sectonia’s spider design could be a bit more unique, and even though I could defend the reveal I know it’s just kind of frustrating overall. But I think the characterization of Sectonia’s original form being a spider being contradictory to the design build up of Triple Deluxe is super wrong. 

She likely built her army up after she became corrupted and changed her form, so that is when she - a character obsessed with appearances - would build an army of subjects that all reflect her. The fact that she used to look like Taranza and never like those subjects is a way to make visually distinct that contrast between her old and corrupted self. As well as represent that Taranza is the last vestige of her old self that she discarded when she saw him as no longer useful.

And to do apologia for the design being a bit derivative... It was made just to sell a point - that Sectonia was once like Taranza. That’s all it needed to do. Even if it was just Taranza’s model, it being the true form of the Sectonia clone would do its job. Triple Deluxe nor Roboot are about Sectonia’s past, her backstory is just interesting set-dressing for a fairytale about an evil queen and her bumbling servant. I don’t say that to be like, “its just a kid’s game, it’s not important”, but it is a simple platformer first, and a deeper world of tragedies and mysteries second, hence why backstories are often hidden in the background. 

They’re for lore nerds like us, so that the average child playing isn’t saddled with too much narrative, and we can dig for clues and surprises. I think a lot of storytelling decisions in the series make more sense when you think of it like that.

last night i was reminded of one of my extremely few Hater Moments (lighthearted) about this series and i never got around to fully articulating my thoughts on it, so it is once again time for our regularly-scheduled kirby rant:

the spider sectonia reveal was poorly-executed on every level.

to start with, this plot element was introduced when the series was in its worst throes of Not Putting The Fucking Lore In The Fucking Games, but I will happily concede that this reveal was at least in a game; just not the game it should have been in.

I almost wonder if the Sectonia Clone as a whole was a leftover from the fact that Robobot started out development as Triple Deluxe 2, but considering that a) TD2 was dropped pretty early on and b) Robobot is just full to the brim with fanservice and callbacks anyway, I don't feel there's much evidence for such a theory.

at any rate, reducing the otherwise very intriguing reveal of Sectonia's prior form to a blink-and-you'll-miss-it easter egg in an entirely different game is pretty... underwhelming. we've had plenty of "reveals" or cool nods and expansions to other lorebits in similar easter eggs, but none of them were nearly as important as "oh, by the way, here's what the character whose whole arc revolves around personal and physical image used to look like! in a totally unrelated game!"

but that's the tamest complaint. that's just the accessibility of this information, which could have been better but certainly could have been worse.

the biggest problem is Sectonia's design. it's bad. it is just not good, fellas. she is literally just genderbent Taranza. it fails visually, it fails conceptually, and it fails really hard story-wise.

this design was so uninspired that when people in the EN sphere first saw it, tons of people thought it just was Taranza. then when we got screenshots, model rips, etc., it was still so painfully similar to Taranza that it made people assume HAL was saying Taranza and Sectonia were related - which turned into just as much of a shitfight as you might think.

even if this weren't attached to such a crucial character reveal, it's just downright a bad design! instead of taking even the slightest efforts to differentiate Sectonia from Taranza, they did the laziest, most barebones "uhhhhhh what if taranza But Girl" design shift possible. she's wearing the exact same outfit as Taranza, just palette-swapped. so little effort went into both the concepting stage and the modelling stage. she's just Taranza's model with the merest tweaks to make sure you know this is a Girl Spider.

genuinely, I would be a hundred times more amenable to this entire plot point if HAL had just bothered to give her an actual design.

but the problem is, making Sectonia a spider kind of just fucks everything about her story and contradicts itself at multiple points.

the aesthetic and theme language in TD is very clear. this is one of the biggest strengths that both it and Robobot share - the identity and literary through-lines of both games pervade every single visual element of them. Robobot tells its tale of capitalistic tech-fuelled colonialism through every part of the game from level backgrounds, to enemy designs, right down to surgical decisions like mechanising the pinwheel tree that was such a fond image from KRtD. every tiny thing bore the mark of the HWC, whether metaphorically or literally, such that you spent the entire game never forgetting that there was one unified force behind all of this, and Haltmann at the end of the game was the culmination of this aesthetic.

TD did the exact same. every part of TD sells that it's a fantastical fairytale romp through a series of themed locations with a connecting thread of the invading Antr* force.

*(this is a way better romanisation than "antler" this is my hill)

if anything, I'd argue that TD's design language in this respect is tighter than Robobot's, because Robobot had a fairly broad theme of "industrialisation and hi-tech space future sci-fi" to draw its foes from, whereas TD had to condense its antagonists under the stricter banner of "evil insect army".

and they did incredibly. every point of design about the Antrs points straight to Sectonia and draws from her in some way or another. it's absolutely seamless. she's the perfect logical endpoint of Antr design from every angle: she's the literal queen bee of this insect hive and the perfect expression of their anatomy. she's bigger than the biggest Antr. she's more developed. she's more powerful. they were so careful and thorough about this design conceit that Antrs have multiple stages that all march straight up to Sectonia. we go from the tiny bronto burt and waddle dee clones with their little wings and eyes that seem so familiar, to the Antr soldiers, all the way up to the Lord Antrs who are one step away from Sectonia. they have stripes and facial markings to echo hers. it's all wrapped up with the genius bow of combining ants, bees, and wasps: they're all hymenoptera! the metaphor goes even deeper than that because there's a species of wasp that parasitizes spiders! controls them, even!

... except no actually, we've decided she's a spider too and all of that buildup and artful design means nothing.

it's awful. it's taking what is far and away one of the best-executed designs in the series and saying that all of that buildup and blatant connection of ideas meant nothing.

but that's just the visual end of it. Sectonia actually being a spider makes no sense in the lore, either.

first of all, TD's incredible design sense and artistic direction applies to Taranza as well. while he's obviously derivative of Magolor, within the context of TD he's clearly meant to evoke the sky fairies. he's designed to look much more like them than any of the insect characters. he's got the same body type, he moves the same way as them, he's a sky fairy with a spider theme. the game draws visual parallels between him and the sky fairies more than once; this is not unintentional.

this is part of what makes Taranza's role as Sectonia's right hand more impactful: he's only insect adjacent, and the design language would have you believe he's more closely related to the fairies than the insects, so him being with the bad guys is notable and interesting.

so why would a spider character be the ruling monarch of the insect hive? why would the line go ant, bigger ant, fancy ant, armoured ant, spider, wasp?

I mean, shit dude, the miiverse posts directly tell us that Sectonia used to "look like her insect underlings". it really feels like the decision to make her be a spider was a total spur-of-the-moment one, between how badly it interacts with the rest of the story and how lazy the design was. Sectonia's backstory had a couple of holes in it regarding the actual timeline of things, but those were just mysteries regarding what order everything happened in. she was both a bodyjacker and a good queen at one point, which don't exactly jive, so it becomes interesting to think about how those two facts coexist. on the other hand, her being a spider just gets shoehorned in there for no apparent reason other than to... heighten her connection to Taranza?

and that just dovetails into the complete mockery HAL made of Taranza's character development after TD, and THAT is a rant for another time.

there was just no point to it all. Sectonia being a spider adds nothing, removes a bunch of nuance and intrigue, and muddies both her story and the background world of TD.

[thelostguardianau]

The Lost Guardian- Chapter Eight

“Heed the Silenced”

(Authors note: aha.. yknow I should probably stop making promises for this fic. Months later, w/ a chapter that doesn’t have Thomas in it, three different outlines down and i’m really just at the mercy of this fic at this point xD considering midway through writing this chapter I had to cut and rewrite an entire scene i’d spent a month on bc I’d decided that Dee had a chance at redemtion that added an actual direction and a tangable end goal to this story. So. Yeah. And!! A loud Thank You!! to @bumblebeekitten for helping me bounce ideas back & forth for this au and being my beta for this chapter!!)

Character Info & Art:

Patton | Logan | Roman | Virgil | Remy | Deceit | ??? | ???

Chapter Seven | Chapter Nine

Fandom: Thomas Sanders Sides

Pairings: Eventual Polyamsanders (LAMPR/CALMR-a.k.a LAMP/CALM + Remy ‘Sleep’ Sanders)

Warnings: THIS CHAPTER IS KINDA DIALOG HEAVY!(sorry) Currently depicted as morally grey Deceit(subject to change in future chapters), though the side of Deceit from his first appearance doesnt make an appearance in this chapter and it is explained why, mentions of past betrayal and dark descriptions of bodily concepts, curses, limitations, and changes only really explained as possible through the lore of this au. Deceit speaks in riddles because he has to, ominous warnings. Virgil still isn’t okay mentally. Mentions of indifference to death, lack of selfworth or self preservation. (Let me know if I need to add anything!)

[[MORE]]

Brown eyes flutter open at the chilly breeze of a fan, and the ravenette’s mind comes to realize that he’s been moved from resting on his stomach to laying on his back. Groggy from his much too short nap, it takes a few moments to realize there are no warm bodies near him or under him, no breathing or chatter of familiar voices to sooth him.

The room, he realizes, is empty.

The room itself is, in fact, not Remy’s bedroom at all.

Shooting straight up, Virgil’s first clear thought is that he’s back at home. At his apartment, this time in his hoodie yet still roughed up from his latest ‘adventure’. The scene is eerily familiar, and yet he knows this time that work is not where he needs to be. It’s already daylight and his mind now knows this familiar scene, he should feel alone. Yet, this time he can hear the sound of honking cars and people, his loud neighbor from upstairs stomping around.

It doesn’t make sense as he walks to his window and peers out to see vague cars and people, he can’t even seem to make out any individual faces. It’s grey and raining outside, but there is no pattering sound against the foggy window. ‘What’s happening?’ Virgil wonders.

“Life seemed so simple a week ago, even months ago, did it not..?” A familiar voice drifts from behind him. Ice cold fear shoots down the ravenette’s spine as he recognizes the voice.

“I can hardly believe you were able to leave it, your routine. It was your everything, back when you came to terms with what you had left. Am I wrong, Virgil?” Whirling around to face the voice, Virgil finds the terrifying ex-Guardian sitting on his couch looking quite at home, if a little sheepish.

“What do you care?” He spat back, stepping back against his window.

“I am only looking out for you, you know. I have been protecting you all your life. Of all people I think I would know what is best for you, don't you think? We are connected after all, you and I.” The man sighed, making a surrendering motion with his hands.

“Why would I trust you?! You tried to kill me yesterday!” Virgil growled. “Why--h-how are you even here!?”

“False, my dear Virgil. I tried to warn you. Sure,” The guardian rolled his hand as he spoke, “I am forced to have a round-about way of speaking my truths, it is just part of my consequences it seems. But how else was I going to get you to listen to me after the others fed you lies about me? I do sincerely apologize for my other half being rough, though. I cannot quite.. Control.. Him.” The guardian tilted his bowler hat down to guiltily hide his eyes, regret briefly twisting his expression.

Finally the Guardian stood, dusting himself off as if his immaculate attire had acquired dust from just existing in his apartment. “I needed my physical body to reach yours and make our soul connection strong again, so that my soul could reach yours. However.. The pain I caused you was far from my intention. I am deeply regretful that it came down to.. That awful encounter.

“To answer your question though, Virgil, I am here because I created ‘here’. A realm made to form this illusion of being home, sweet home, just on the corner of the little street you had come to live on for the past year. It is all my doing. Where you stand is simply an illusion only you and I can access, a manipulation of your dreams and memories. The only place where the real me can talk to you mostly unhindered.” The guardian gestured to his surroundings.

“It takes only one person to flip your life on it’s head, a matter of hours to make the decision of a lifetime, and a matter of days to have completely changed your life’s direction,” He turned to Virgil, and looked him straight in the eyes, feeling distant and lost.

“And only a matter of years to succumb to the depression of the lonely consequences..”

Virgil blinked at that. The sad, longing tone had him thrown for a loop; it almost felt like the Guardian wasn't even quite talking to Virgil. “I-What..? I.. I don’t understand.”

The Guardian shook his head, snapping out of it and refocusing himself. "Nevermind that. It is time I talked to you for real, if you will have me?" The Guardian held out a hand politely, though there was no real expectation for Virgil to take it.

After a pause, Virgil gave a slight nod, still suspicious of the other's intent. The Guardian returned the nod, and his hand fell to his side.

“I am limited to the time that you rest and for now I will not be able to explain myself thoroughly, so, I ask you to understand that I do not expect you to trust me when I am done. I honestly do not expect you to ever trust me. With the mistakes I have made, I firmly believe I would not deserve it.”

Virgil blinked in surprise, not having expected his captor to admit to his faults straight off the bat.

“Okay.. Well, we’re here, might as well hear your side of the story. So.. Shoot.” Virgil said lightly, distrust and suspicion still evident in his tone and stance.

“I would assume at this point you are well aware of how the story you have been told paints me as the villain, a mastermind seeking power, immortality, and revenge? At least, that is what I am led to believe is still the story, it has been many years since I have heard the tale first hand… And... Well. Would that not be so lovely?” Virgil made a face, eyes narrowing in confusion.

“I am serious. Life would be so much easier if it was all black and white, true or false, good and bad, would it not? If those who meant well knew everything and those malicious few could not corrupt anything?” The Guardian frowned a bit, frustrated with his words that couldn’t seem to cooperate with him.

“Would it not be lovely if I could talk to you without fighting to keep from turning every honest thought into a question or theoretical statement just to let it be said? That my words could hold a meaning not forcibly disguised in the forms of fables and riddles?” The Guardian looked down lamely, his words tapering off in agitation. For a moment, Virgil waited as the Guardian was silent, contemplative. Then, the next moment the Guardian’s face scrunched up in sadness and his words were soft as he placed a hand over his golden wrist markings.

“My story is complicated, and twisted with shades of grey. One could say what I did was an attempt to keep you safe, another could say that what I did was outlandish and impulsive, and stupid. But no one will be able to tell you that what I did went according to the plan I had... at first. No one will tell you that my intention was to save you, to keep your fate safe. No one will tell you that my plan was ruined. Because there is no longer anyone who remembers what happened that night except for me,”

The Guardian’s eyes flicked up to meet the ravenette’s, a hurt look passing over his face as he continued. His steady voice now just barely trembled with uncertainty as he continued.

“No one but me and the soul who wants so desperately for everyone to forget. The soul who ripped my own in two to bury the secret, and ruin you and I both.”

“My final warning is this: Beware of the man who carries the world on his shoulders unflinchingly, he will be watching you closely. You have immunity to his power thanks to our connection, you might use this knowledge well to find the truth that lies in plain sight. However, your fate lies in the decisions you chose to make with this knowledge, I can only warn you of what might come.” The Guardian nodded solemnly, choosing to finish his cryptic warning there.

Virgil stood there, reeling with the information. Sure, he definitely wasn’t completely convinced he could trust this cryptic stranger, Guardian? Foe? Friend? Virgil wasn’t really sure what to call him anymore. But damn, his life was already so fucking crazy, this was all just fucking crazy! He could just be dreaming for all he knew.

But… Deep inside, he was hoping he wasn’t.

This was, well. This wasn’t what he’d been expecting to hear when facing the man whose, er, body? Had originally tried to strangle him? Now he’d heard his sob story and, well, Virgil wasn’t that easy to fool, but he’d also been told that it wasn’t expected that he’d trust the guy even in the end and he didn’t really want to.

He’d been on the path to death for so long, and then just two days ago everything had changed. So much was happening, it was frankly exhausting. What the fuck was he, some book protagonist? Couldn’t he get a little time to think about all this before he went crazy?

Still, something under all his incredulity begged to hear the guardian out. He vaguely wondered how Stockholm Syndrome worked before he gave in a little. What difference did a little more crazy make in his life at this point?

“Fine, I’ll heed your warning, or whatever the fuck. But only if you can tell me what you mean when you said that this guy ripped your, uh, soul? In two.” Virgil huffed, partially relaxing. It was odd how comforting he found it to be, floating in this weird feeling imaginary world, where he could interact with objects that weren’t real. It felt like he was really standing in his home, and yet it was just built from memory.

The guardian’s solemn expression formed into a grim smile, eyes distant once more before nodding. “I will do the best that my words will allow.” Virgil nodded, and waited for the now very familiar stranger to gather his words and take a breath. Then he began, his markings lightly flashing gold.

“You find yourself whole one day, as you have always been. To be whole of body, whole of mind, both human and guardian in nature. To have conscious thought and control over your whole physical being and soul..

“You find that yourself and others of the winged variety are capable of separating your soul from your being, though only the most Elite can do it well. You find out the family you made would soon be in danger. You then find yourself lost and alone when you once had a home to call your own.

“You find yourself knowing a truth, a perilous truth. Your home is in shambles now that you are gone, yet they do not know it. This truth is at fault, but the blame is not fully your own in a world built on lies.

“The source of truth tucks itself into blankets of grey, drawing itself further from discovery with each passing day. Now only you know the truth. The source of the truth finds you, it seeks to hide you too.

“You find yourself split one day, as you have never been before. Forced apart from the body, trapped within the mind. Guardian in nature, to have conscious thought and your dying soul trapped within, a false mind piloting the puppeteered confines of a broken body with a blind goal.”

“You find you cannot control what you used to, you are a prisoner to a body that is no longer your own, mostly unconscious to the world around it. Crazed by the false emotions that fuel it.”

“The you that used to be is no longer, and has not been for over a hundred years. The world that knew you knows not of what you’ve become. Knows not of the shackles that bind you.

“The you that used to be is no longer, and will never be again.” The Guardian finished, hesitant yellow eyes meeting Virgil’s carefully. Phantom goosebumps trail down Virgil's arms as the final sentence strikes a cord in him.

Virgil found he really wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, the rawness in the other’s tone spoke volumes of the sore spot they’d reached.

“Your body rests, but your mind also needs time to process today. I shall see you when you next rest, though only if you wish to seek me. Rest well knowing that you will not be scooped from your safety once more, as I hope I’m never to do so again. And...” The guardian paused, considering their next words very carefully.

“I know it is selfish to ask... but, I hope and wish that Thomas is alright, after all this time... Do take care of him, would you?”

Virgil paused and stared, finding only concern and longing in the guardian’s expression. And, well, fuck. What a way to pull at a guy’s heartstrings.

“Er, yes. Yeah. I’ll try my best.” Virgil gave his signature mock salute, the Guardian tipping his hat in return.

“Trying is all I could ever ask of you, Virgil. Rest well, you will need it.” And with that final sentence, the world around Virgil gently grew dark, and he sunk into the comforting arms of sleep.

Despite it all, Virgil still found his mind vaguely conscious. Sluggish at best, but awake nonetheless.

He figured it was likely some lingering effect from the Guardian’s dream realm, but didn’t dwell on it. His life had way too much else going on to be debating the side effects gained from Guardian powers.

First, he’d been pretty damn convinced two days ago that he was going to be a goner by the end of the month. Completely resigned to die believing that his very existence was scorned by the world he’d been unwillingly born into.

Then Patton had stumbled onto his shitty apartment’s roof, found him in all of his resigned and depressed glory, and changed his life forever.

They’d mostly skipped the whole ‘Human nature is a series of life, death, and rebirth’ spiel that guardians were known to give in these situations because... Well, It wasn’t like they’d really had time to address it before the truth about his soul had come out. That he wasn’t exactly human to begin with.

Virgil didn’t think that Guardians had ever had a situation like his before. There wasn’t a protocol for comforting a kidnapped guardian soul. It’d never been a possibility before!

So it wasn’t surprising then, that Virgil didn’t have any better of a time processing it.

His whole life, all that he’d known to be true, all that he’d believed in? Everything had been uprooted and turned on its head. He’d apparently been living a life that was not supposed to be.

Perhaps for the first time in two days, Virgil realized that the thought of his death at the end of the month had not been consistently worming into his brain. It had once been something he could never seem to stop thinking about.

The death indicated by his soul timer was now perhaps the farthest thing from his mind.

Perhaps the strangest thing so far was that he wasn’t alone anymore. He’d possibly had more physical contact with other people in the short two(three?) days since this adventure started then he’d had in the past 16 years.

And wasn’t it just the cherry on top that he’d also gotten nearly choked out by the very guardian accused of kidnapping his soul in the first place? And now he was considering trusting the damn guy.

Virgil hollowly wondered why he even cared.

Why did he care about staying alive now when he’s spent his whole life believing he never would? Up until two days ago, that belief had still been true. But now? Avoiding death was the goal, Logan had stated as much.

Really, would Virgil lose anything by trusting the banished guardian? Even if the guardian was trying to trick Virgil and got him killed, what difference would it make? That’d always been the goal before. What did he, Virgil, really have to lose?

If it happened that Virgil lived past his twentieth birthday, if he became a guardian like he was supposed to be in the first place. Would he want that? Did he want that?

He wasn’t sure. Didn’t know if he ever had been.

His life had been built on resignation to the inevitable. Nothing seemed to motivate him towards liking or hating that possibility. He was just that.

Indifferent.

And wasn’t that just the greatest revelation of the night? Finding out that you’re indifferent to living or dying.

Once this was all over, if Virgil lived that long, he would make a note to see a therapist. He knew very well that this kind of mindset was unhealthy to keep. It just couldn’t be helped that the nineteen years he’d lived with this particular affliction couldn’t be fixed by a few extra hugs and comforting words.

Even if he didn’t like the fact that death sounded like the more peaceful option.

His thoughts paused, mentally sighing at the downward spiral he’d caught himself in. It was tiring, and going nowhere.

‘For now,’ he decided, ‘I’m just going to see how this plays out. The Guardian said that none of the others remember the truth, or whatever. So, It’s a ‘he said-they said’ situation right now...’

‘I’ll have to keep an eye out for the guy that he warned me about, then. Who knows if he's as dangerous as The Guardian made him out to be. It’s hard to tell with the weird way he has to talk..’

Virgil paused again, a realization striking him. If he could have groaned, he would have. Not once had he been given or even remembered to ask for the name of said Guardian. What was he supposed to call the rogue Guardian now? He couldn’t just keep calling him The Guardian!

Amidst the disbelief of such a slip up, a foreign yet familiar feeling prodded questioningly at his conscious mind. Adding confusion into the mix of emotions, he returned the feeling with a questioning thought of his own.

He briefly heard the Guardian’s whispy voice once more, now acting with permission.

“You may call me Janus”

Then all at once, Virgil woke up.

.

.

.

Chapter Nine

[kaonite]

Can we hear about your Misraaks headcanons pls?

hahahaaha ahah okay so this turned more into picking him apart rather than headcanons but i mixed them in there ::3 (im so sorry, i cannot be coherent at all and gushed profusely. i promise my writing is way different than the way i type this out.)

for some reason it wont let me add tags??? so i hope no one is upset by that!

-misraaks doesnt know how to be 'normal' per say, barring the fact he IS an alien(this goes with my super personal headcanon that the wolves just breed some ODD eliksni. 110% there’s something SUPER up with the wolves (or gentle weavers) as a whole. there's something in the ether turning the wolves into human simps) and is just a weird guy? Who 'turns their back' on their own without being a little fucking odd? i mean if i saw a almost 7ft tall lady and she dragged me away from my attempted suicide (thats some baggage already) and offered peace in a my cultures way id rethink my ideals too (theres more to it i know but humor me!) Also unlearning ALL you've been taught was rough and trying but he was a young mind and to be honest... that's probably for the best (no doubt sjur did use him against the wolves but i really feel their friendship was genuine, full of a lot of love and respect after he stopped being an angsty vandal with unresolved mommy issues)

-he puts on this show of being strong and unyielding but if he trusts you he just crumbles and is bare to the bone about everything. misraaks isn't afraid of being honest per say, he may come off brash but he's just telling it like it is... no sense in beating around the bush. he's not an asshole but being raised the way he was uh... some tact had be learned. 

-no no no it's not bc his mother may have been strict and terrifying to some degree so he has to be the strongest  or he feels he'll fail everyone he knows. so when someone breaks down his walls he's just a soft, sappy individual who just wants everyone to have a peaceful life together while trying to be strong for everyone else at his own mental expense. hes so passionate, charismatic and driven even with all the odds stacked against him, the fucking STRENGTH in that. (DREG STRENGTH GO! even tho he's not a dreg u get my meaning, everyone so far has deemed him as such) what a king! ❤ (praksis u call him foolish again i'll break every one of the generators in your lab)

-brings me to my next headcanon that the nightmare in the moon, horkis? Is his mother and all the teachings that she and others brought upon him as a child up until meeting sjur concentrated into one being. that if he doesn't bleed for the cause, die for the cause, then he has failed his people.  OOPS! IT'S ALL DEEP SEATED TRAUMA! 

-also headcanon she was the one to dock him? to make it extra good when he thinks back on her in the misraaks lore tab 

(I normally don't slander moms bc damn if anyone slandered my mom id throw hands but bungie gave me the scraps and im working with them and misraaks seemed like he had a pretty standard, though super strict, upbringing ::) )

-he appears haughty, self-assured and a bit cold though that's just how he projects himself... he's not actually that way? I mean, hes pretty calm and collected. he expresses a deep  loyalty and love for Sjur and cares for his fireteam immensely. He trusted his fireteam enough to take them to her resting place, how is that not vulnerability we otherwise don't really see? 

He'd throw down for his friends and loved ones because that's just how Eliksni ARE. kin is everything, even friends. he just has a different way of showing it. 

-misraaks... okay i have to say he's into poetry, or talking poetically. the way he speaks is almost... romantic (not in a bad or spicy way!) i just know that boy really SPEAKS in such an eloquent, thoughtful sense. there's a lot of meaning and love in his words. he doesn't just SAY things to fill the silence. every word has a meaning, a purpose. i love that about him. 

-okay maybe i headcanon his fireteam being all around goofballs with him at times of respite, softening out his sharp edges. making him loosen up and enjoy the little things in life rather than worrying about the bigger picture. (bungie where's that getting drunk with his fireteam lore tab? i would like to see it. you have it with the yw and crow... it's the least you could do for the misraaks stans...) i just feel its hard for him to sit and do nothing, just to fool around, be a "normal person" due to the fact his whole life up to his moment of wanting to create house light has been death and war. He was MADE for war. it'd be hard for him to adjust to a 'happier' existence without a little prodding

-he doesn't care about glory, or is doing what he does for selfish gain. he genuinely just wants to help, to create peace. so if anyone approached him with the kell of kells title he'd promptly tell them to shove it (sorry misraaks... you're in the same boat with the young wolf... you can't escape your destiny)

-can we talk about how much misraaks unlearned from sjur then YEARS later is with dusk, meets the young wolf (that annoying bastard of a guardian! :) ), they spare him then it seems like something unlocks in him. like we were the final catalyst to his dreams being real. no longer did he want to be canon fodder, or use his crew as such, he wanted to lead... to be better, to do better for his people along the guardians. maybe he could be better than just another solider dying for a cause they didn't even know at that point. he could be everything his kind rallied against and be GREATER than he was taught to be , not stepping on those deemed less than him. his MIND 

-can i just shoehorn something in real quick. I don't believe he'd practice docking after everything. I just can't see it and i always see him having trauma around docking so why would he wish that on others as a treatment under his kellship? It took him A LONG ASS TIME to unlearn how fucked up it is and how their society as whole is (ie. he literally fantasized about his mother docking him. how is that not absolutely insane to hear?)  also it'd be useless at this point, he'd need people at their prime, not missing two arms for an old, unnecessary dark practice. he doesn’t want people to fear him, if your people fear you are you truly a leader?

*cuts this ask open with a knife and lets loose a character interpretation more than headcanons* OOPS

am i projecting? maybe but bungie gave me crumbs and i am going to use them

im holding back a bunch of thoughts bc most of them center around much more personal headcanons bc this is my emotional support eliksni :') plus ive written so much already im pretty sure you all think im insane.

If anyone has anything to add feel free! Id love to hear it, you may have some ideas/headcanons/interpretations i didn't list or i never though of! of course... most of this is projecting, who doesn't do that to their fave?

and honestly, i am so open to talking about him in depth, if you want to, shoot me a message! I'll get to it! :3

[jordankennedy]

ok less flip phrasing but: why i think amherst was never an a avatar, per se, but rather smtg more like breekon & hope / the not-them / vampires / MR. SPIDER / etc. like a direct manifestation of an entity, not an individual human that got in too deep. (1/?)

“first: Name. THE most boring placeholder first name + bioweapon pioneer surname. its like a desolation avatar named jane fawkes or smtg. fake n badly made up sounding. (native genocide is not in jonnys lane so i dont think a connection between john and jeffery beyond just the surname will be confirmed so, uh, point to me?) (2/?)

second: Immortality. amhersts immortality is WEIRD. like hes not the only unnaturally long-lived character but every other avatar either ages v slowly, ages not at all, or body hops via eyes. the resurrection is limited to some end avatars (makes sense, end is all abt death n cheating it) and hunters but only for unHuntlike causes of death (trevor's lung cancer) (makes sense, hunt is all abt Not Stopping). (3/?)

every time theres a clear thematic connection between the patron entity n the not-dying, which isnt true for the corruption n amherst beyond perhaps the "can't stamp out infestation" approach, which makes more sense if amherst is HIMSELF the filth, not something that simply hosts it (eg the various flesh hives, beetle wife guy, maggie n gordie). (4/?)

GRANTED its extra weird how amherst survived getting set on fire, when fire is consistently presented as a way to "cleanse" the corruption (eg worm sex apt, wasp nest, janes body, ivy meadows, klanxbull). but i guess u could say it shows amherst is a more intense manifestation of the crawling rot. idk (5/?)

(fringe offshoot subtheory i dont fully subscribe to: amherst is literal brain fungus n hijacks ppl to eat most of and then use as organic scaffolding to build up typical appearance? hence massive height n form concealing outfit??? like i said im not sure abt this one. :/ like i think theres smtg there abt the clothing detail but ehhhh not too hot on on the rest) (6/?)

anyways, third: Timeline. chronologically, amherst first appears in 2003 and he doesnt even properly show up, hes just a character in a leitner. a leitner that gertrude burns. hey, u kno who canonically survived getting set on fire? yeah. ("what was he doing in the 8 yrs between 2003 n ivy meadows" uh obviously he was catching up w the 21st century. learning how to drive and buy property. next.) (7/?)

which brings us to fourth: Leitner. only 3 canon examples of lowercase-e entities tied to a leitner book, and theyre mr. spider (feeds via a guest for, and the jp book in mag 110), the lichtenberg figure (bound to ex altiora), and john amherst (features in evil papercut book). and the keay ghost book ig but imo that feels like a totally different kind of "being tied to" so im not counting it. (8/?)

the other 2 are definitely inhuman monsters so why not amherst? i think amherst was contained in the book somehow (not forcibly the way the lichtenberg figure was) n got released when gertrude burned it. i do feel like in that case gertrude arsonized him immediately (HENCE.... WHY MAG 68'S STATEMENT GOT SCORCHED AS WELL AS THE BOOK I JUST REALIZED) but You See, Doctor, He Is Such A Restless Man. (9/?)

the handshake fumble, the totally gutted ant house, and "saluted on the spot and died on the spot of typhoid" all have colossal anatomy student energy. extreme fake person vibes. i will not elaborate on this one (10/11)

finally, everything abt john amherst—the bank account, the medical fraud, the dinky little car—becomes approx at least 30x more hilarious if u imagine he was never even a person just an overgrown mushroom. purple drain fungus final evolution. i slammed this out on notes so forgive any typos, if jonny kills this theory itd be worth it for the amherst lore i guess. thank u for reading. (11/11)“

reading this genuinely was like getting hit over and over again with a sledgehammer. when you sent me the original ask i was like haha thats dumb but now after absorbing all of this is think youre completely right and unironically im really, really impressed by the level of analysis here. literally i did not even think about the idea of him being tied to the leitner book. can you come off of anon so i can follow you if i dont already

[jikook-love]

Nothing worse than someone who can't correct their fetishism bullshit in the moment. No need to get defensive, "fuck it could totally be read as racist and that's Fucked up and fixable concerning the Asian comment you made, "I love them but I guess the thing I meant to say wasn't what I said and for that, oops (sorry)" done. I preferred when one of my fave blogs didn't reveal themselves to be an asshole.

i mean, vent what you need to but…

That ain’t it buddy. I know who I am and I know what I said and actually that’s exactly what I meant. I didn’t correct it because I was too busy laughing at someone calling me racist against my own race and showing all my friends 😂😂😂 Didn’t think it’d be taken that seriously.

I know you’re done hearing and whatever I say will be seen as a twist but I’ll let you in a on a bit of deep lore, because it’s good to know.

It happens to every Kpop group alright. For a long time now, the concept of Asian beauty can often mean imitation of certain natural Western features: the nose surgery to make the bridge higher, the double eye lid/larger eyes, circle lenses to get rid of brown eyes, even dyed hair (but everyone dyes their hair so you can say that’s a stretch). And I won’t say it really bothers me because while I choose not to do it, if plastic surgery makes you feel more confident and beautiful, by all means do it. What I do sometimes pity is that I think there needs to be more appreciation for the “slanted” monolid eyes that can look so charming, and the cute button noses and so on. But I find that Kpop stylists tend to prefer styles that make all their artists as subtly “Western” as possible. Of course it’s still a look, most of the time its just a certain style of makeup and they are celebrities and it’s their job to try out different things but I just happen to prefer the more natural look, and I hope that they would too. There shouldn’t be so much damn pressure to look not like yourself, even though I know Asian cultures regard the surface level beauty to a high high extent.

I think I can say pretty objectively it happens to many groups. If you need a solid example, watch live SNSD videos in Genie/Gee era and compare them to The Boys era (when they were trying to go for the “global” appeal).

Which is why, I often make remarks like “black hair is so much better them” and such. I know some people will misunderstand, and I can’t bring myself to really get too frazzled by it, because I know what my opinions are backed up by, and honestly, perhaps it’s just a wish for us all to stop being too shallow and learn to appreciate everything on the surface regardless of what it is.

And yes, perhaps there’s a reason I can say all this because I’m Asian myself, so I’ve seen all this unravel in people close to me who aren’t even celebrities. That comment wasn’t even original, as I remember seeing it in a YT comment for a kpop idol group 5 years back, albeitedly when most fans were still mostly Asian still. There are some things that usually Asians would be more prone to notice in these idols, having heard a lot it growing up like “god i wish you had double eyelids!” or “i wish i had a higher nose bridge”…etc etc. I know you intended to be hurtful calling it a fetish or whatever, but as you can see it’s really not that lol. Even if I were subconsciously attracted to solely Asian people (which I’m not, but could happen…I guess), that could easily be explained by psychology, which dictates that we are more attracted to people who tend to look more like us. Still don’t believe me? Go ask some of your own Asian friends if you have them.

tl;dr i’m not just some random chick spewing shallow things on the internet. and i know people know that, and know not to judge off a single comment i made. perhaps i was wrong to say it because i forgot that not everyone grew up in some strict Asian culture or would understand BUT that doesn’t mean you should go off and make assumptions either. im not exactly for being politically correct, and im sure if someone wanted to tear my words apart they could probably 😅. even if this response gets twisted or whatever, it doesnt matter to me because at the end of the day, i know who I am.

i recommend you take all this powerful energy for justice you have off the internet and do something useful irl with it ^^ join a anti bullying organization, a club, a rally, a debate team..etc. this is the wrong place, cause as you can see i personally really dont bring any true harm to the world…for the most part. in the off chance that you still really truly care that much: DM me. I can try and ease your consciousness lol.

[teshkara]

First off Ellirijan wants to celebrate my recent promotion with a huge party… That I’m not invited to, screw that!

 Next, I head off to Bravil, where Gever asks me to banish a spectral warrior.

 Finishing off my check-in with the Guild Guides I stop off at Cheydinhal where Frondre informs me of a theft by a Daedra Seducer. We will need to return it before any Daedric involvement is uncovered, for the good of the guild of course

I also ask Frondre for an interview regarding his race, to which he proceeds to brag about the Mazken and Sheogorath’s appreciation of free will.

Following Frondre’s directions I find Tanaark, an image of a Daedra Seducer, collecting debts for various Daedra Princes…. sadly he is not interested in leaving this life to join the Stranded Light.

I agree to help him collect a few debts, just so long as they aren’t too evil… taking a soul gem from outside a ruin doesnt sound very bad.

I try to take the stolen diamond off of the table, but it doesn’t go according to plan. Tanaark claims they stole the diamond first, and the diamond is protected with a curse. So I use my lore knowledge to show him I fear no curse.

I take the diamond, causing an angry dremora to summon forth, but a quick bit of invisibility and backstab puts a stop to that.

I try to speak with the IC guild guide, but she has nothing new to offer me. Instead I check with Tyrru about the riddle he gave me earlier… Hmm, a river, and a lake with a “silver veil”

Hmmm, it couldn’t be “Silver Fish” river, could it!? I’ll check later, for now I’ve got more pressing tasks to finish

with the help of a summoned saint, and some random nearby mud crabs the spectral warrior outside the 19 Voids is banished… hopefully Gever doesn’t mind that we asked a member of the matriarchy for help.

I feel a bit tired, and the 19 Voids has that big bed in the middle of the room, a small nap shouldn’t hurt

I awaken to water in my lungs and a burning sensation all over, I desperately swim to the surface. The 19 Voids emerges on the horizon, as I breach the surface of the water the burning pain only becomes more intense and I struggle to make out the way ahead.

Turumerin is surprised to see me return, most of her playthings expire shortly after she’s done with them, or they are driven mad by the experience. This must be what happened to Narelya. “Fortunately” I was not awake for her “fun.”

Turumerin shows no guilt, or remorse for her actions, but she does offer to alleviate the damage with a staff she once used to help keep her victims alive longer… unfortunately it was stolen by a certain mage looking for a book.

Arriasha is found in Bliss, and still as crazy as ever. she feared being caught with the staff, so she broke it in two and hid it. In Bliss the staff was easily found above a bedroll

The Crucible piece requires a bit of acrobatics, I jump from the dueling grounds to a nearby roof and locate the 2nd half of the staff. the pain still rages deep inside me, but still I can’t help but wonder if helping this monster is the right thing to do.

I resolve to think further upon the issue, and remember that the shroom growing for the Disciples of the Moment should be finished now. I bear with the pain for now and head off to Zendria

Inside the shroom I find Uriel Curio, an Ohmes jokingly named after the emperor. Longius assures me that he belongs there, and gives some shocking insight regarding Suthay offspring, Uriel’s mother was a Senche?!? How does one- who would even— These Curios are a strange family.

Now that the Shroom is here Thollorn is ready for some new projects. He wants to observe me brutalizing some wild beasts down South at fort Snow Moth. I’m not really feeling up to it right now, though.

I teleport to Merendin to consult with the guild about my ailments. Karashivuel offers a potion with its own negative side effects, and Ahtize offers a spell to heal the effects.* Teshekru is familiar with these markings, and offers to help. We have grown somewhat close, and she does appear to be of a different sort than her other brethren… I should know, being one myself after all. I trust her to help, and after removing the taint inside, the searing pain slowly subsides and my surroundings finally stop spinning. * Kara and Ahtize parts not in video

I’ve made my decision, Turumerin is murderous monster, but there is no stopping her, so long as she remains in her “pocket realm” at the 19 Voids. Only thing to do is warn others, and those that do fall in her trap at least deserve some chance at survival. With a heavy heart, and shiver down my spine I return to the 19 Voids, and turn over the staff. Turumerin is as cheerful as ever and offers me a useless trinket and a “love letter.” I burn the letter, and head off to reclaim my items from Swampagas Hole.