#even if you're just screaming into the void
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Mr. Gap x Fem. Reader (NSFW, descriptions of female genitalia; sadly idk how this dude works; also NOT PROOFREAD we die like the doll)
You had been wandering around for a while, torn between going back to where that crawling, creepy figure lurked or going forward, where the road ahead was completely new. You had only managed to learn a few (very basic) words from someone who you liked to call "Mr. Hood" in an attempt to tone down his ghostly aura. With a defeated sigh, you left his room and headed towards the unknown hallway. Curiosity overtook you as you decided to explore. To the right was a seemingly giant, dark room, its floor covered in blood. The rumbling echoing throughout it was unsettling. Maybe not. You turned back, now weighing your options. Perhaps you didn't need to unblock the path?
Yeah, no, you definitely did. You were greeted with the creepy smile of a man peeking from behind the first door to the right. The language was still foreign to you, but he seemed to want something. Without thinking twice, you slammed the door in his face, muffling a scream. You'd much rather force your tired body to move a huge chunk of metal rather than interact with any ghost or monster or whatever roamed this world.
And so began your journey. With a lot of help from Mr. Silvair and the one who spooked you out the most when you arrived, Mr. Crawling, you got the hang of the language quite fast. But as you were exploring the old, dusty hallways after being separated from your companion and almost got killed by a huge creature, you notice a pair of twinkling eyes observing you from a crack in the wall. An idea pops up into your mind, and you rush to it in hopes of getting some help.
"Mr. Gap!"
"Hello. Me want hair. Give hair?"
"Hair give, help me!"
A strong hand dragged you into the opening, allowing the void to engulf you. Trusting this thing was risky, but at least you had a chance of surviving. The entire place was pitch black, and no matter how much you squinted, nothing more would reveal itself. You felt Mr. Gap's hand brush through your hair gently, before cutting it and nicking your neck. You try to reach for him and make him apologize, but he disappears again with a giggle.
Well, he kept his word, so we should give him that, right? He pushed you out of his "home" rather quickly after that, shoving you into a new room. But just because you agreed once it doesn't mean you're friends or anything. Far from it.
"Me want your heart. Give heart?"
"Cannot!"
"Shame... Give finger?"
"Cannot!"
Over and over. What does he even need them for? Sometimes it seemed as if he picked the worst moments to torment you. After a tiring walk and almost getting killed by the Cloth Monster, just when you laid down, he appeared between the blanket and the mattress. You couldn't hold in the scream that left you, slamming down the blanket. It left you feeling a bit guilty, though, so you gently lifted it back up, allowing him to return with a scowl on his face.
"You scared? Me friendly."
Groaning, you hold the blanket up, trying to find your words.
"Not scared, surprised."
His complexion twists into an eerie grin, his hand sliding up your thigh.
"Surprised? Feel good?"
His head dips back under the blanket, very clearly getting closer to your core. You couldn't deny the frustration which had been building up ever since you arrived there. It felt oddly... nice, having someone care enough to visit you.
His cold fingers gliding against your clit snapped you back into reality, your thighs clamping around his head. Did it deter him? Obviously not. He only took it as a sign to continue, slipping a finger inside and licking a long stripe across your clit. It was weirdly gentle and loving, his fingers stretching you out and hitting your sweetest spots, his tongue teasing your clit as you got closer and closer to-
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forced marriage/friends to enemies to lovers au with megumi x reader because you're a kamo with a (relatively high) amount of cursed energy. you're sick of the Political Bullshit of the clans so you run off to jujutsu tech, telling only gojo about your reasoning. this happens a year before yuuji and nobara come into the picture, so you and megumi become best friends. except [redacted] happens and now you two hate your guts. oh, but your shitty family!! finds a way to marry you off to the naoya zenin!! but the contract states it has to be a zenin, not naoya zenin so gojo essentially legally marries you and megumi together.
but with angst because once upon a time reader did dream of this and now it feels like a nightmare because she's still in love with megumi but he hates her except, well, he doesn't actually.
(guys i'm so tired i have a test tmrw but of course Now is the time where i finally have some good fucking ideas i hate it here)
#hush haerin! ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ 。꒱ྀི১#i'm literally insane#delusional even#girlhood is really just#me screaming into the void#and crying#but the kind where u stare at yourself in the mirror#and you're like. damn#why am i kind of hot when i cry
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once again sad we never got to see any of the Banuk react to Aloy rolling up with and controlling a tame machine
#you're telling me this whole tribe having a crisis of culture and faith#caused by the very thing aloy's override is reversing#is just shrugging that off#ESPECIALLY them#we don't even have to get into the mechanics of the override#and how that could potentially be seen negatively#but you've got liam over there in song's edge talking about banukai#and no one even bats an eye when aloy comes past on top of a charger that's clearly helping her out#and i know original concepts had the banuk cooperating with machines a lot more#which didn't really make it into the game#but with everything that's been going on? with what we learn during 'a moment's peace'?#there should be some kind of reaction#don't mind me i'll forever be screaming into the void about this#alternatively some glacier crack#anyone got a glacier to scream at at hand?#hzd
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We get a new colleague in December and i looked him up and he's so heavily und unconcealed right winged i feel nauseous. I mean he's Extremely right-winged. Climate change denier, corona denier, racist, anti gender equality, anti queer, everything. And i didn't try to dig up dirt or anything. It's literally the first thing you find if you just google his name
#i want to cry#i was literally shaking lmao#I'm still not able to wrap my head around this#the majority of the people of our team is relatively left politically so i really am baffled by this choice#i know i can't avoid people like this and you have to find a way to work with them even if they want you dead (lol)#but i don't really feel comfortable anymore working there if this is an acceptable candidate for them#or if people in the team are just completely fine with it even if they don't personally have these political views#if they're just 'ah idc I'm glad we have another colleague so we have less work' or something like this#or 'that's just how it is'. like i Know this is just how it is but we should be angry that a person like this is even considered#I'm sorry but i don't think you can separate your company or yourself from politics and worldviews#hiring such a person is a clear signal that you don't mind these political positions or even support them#like I'm sure there's more people in our department as a whole who are right leaning and afD etc supporters#but this man isn't even hiding it he's proudly writing articles over articles about his views and you're hiring him for a#position in which he will represent your company and your journal#alright whatever#i guess i'm going to look for a new job when my program is over#not because i think i can avoid people like this#but because i really lost all respect I had left for this company and our management#i KNOW they're everywhere. i KNOW! but still. fuck this#void screams
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From now until march, along with KOSA and support for trans folks/tumblr's transphobia, I'm only going to be reblogging posts about Palestine, Congo, Sudan and the potential other countries that I'm unaware of subjected to atrocities and genocides all at the same time (because just when you thought you've seen the depths of human vileness you learn about something else happening that makes you realise no you didn't). My blog's pretty small so this probably doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but since I didn't completely go through with the strike this time around I feel like the least I can do is this. General reminder to not stop talking about the genocides, donate if you can, write/call up your MPs, show support for the trans community and spread as much awareness as possible about all these issues mentioned. Stay safe, everyone.
#momento rambles#normally i don't make posts like this because i can't ever feel like i should be the one to and let people better equipped than me do it#because i'm more confident in their commentary and advice than mine but this is more important than my discomfort so here goes#free palestine#free congo#free sudan#kosa bill#transgender#if you haven't please look into what's been happening#but make sure not to burn yourselves out doing so#and be aware of that god awful bill and how damaging it could be#and keep your blogs trans friendly and safe. i just scream into the void here but you're always welcome and safe to see me be cringe#the world is shit and it always has been but that's more reason for us to stand together#this stuff isn't my strong suit at all but i hope it helps even a little. take care
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If your life circumstances have always required from you an abnormal amount of strength and resilience, I see you. If your inner child lets out a small sob anytime someone compliments you on that strength, I see you. If that strength translates to you being some form of domineering/abrasive because you learned early on that your lot in life was to take care of yourself because nobody else ever did, I see you. If you are so fucking angry all the time and can't pinpoint why, I see you. If you've had to watch as people you care about continue to abandon you in adulthood because you grew up to be type A, controlling and assertive, I see the fuck out of you. It's not your fault that nobody ever gave you a soft place to land so that you could be your true self. And I won't inundate you with condescending platitudes about how you'll find your person/people one day.
Some of us are lucky, but to depend on external sources for your well being is a crap shoot. I won't tell you to keep looking for your home in other people. Home is where you are. Take that strength you've painstakingly cultivated since you were a child, and quadruple it. Become bulletproof, unbreakable. Don't let anyone else find a fault line in you to exploit ever again.
#personal#as someone who tried the route of opening myself up and trusting others even though every fiber in my traumatized body screamed NO#i have been predictably disappointed over and over and over again#i'm not saying isolate yourself necessarily but cultivate a small circle lock it in and stop desiring others to fulfill you#take what you get as a bonus in life but stop thinking that your fulfillment comes from family and romantic relationships#there's a reason these relationships are the most abusive#the more attached you are the weaker you are i hate to say it#and i swear abusers can smell it on you#make peace with the possibility of being solitary in life because until you do others will always be able to control you#i'm sorry that you were fed lies about love and human connection#but the reality is that to most people you are an npc in their life#men are not waiting to be your happily ever after or to finally let you rest after a lifetime of abuse#no matter WHAT they say or how convincingly#if you're a woman seeking a man know that they primarily desire to fuck you and to possess you as a status symbol. that's it.#listen i used to be a love is all you need girl but experience and copious amounts of therapy have taught me that i am all i need.#childhood trauma#childhood abuse#abusive relationships#narcissistic parents#btw this is not an invitation to try and prove me wrong i am happy to have mutuals i interact with#but i am no longer taking applications for new friends or partners#after careful culling the remaining family and friends i have love and care for me just fine i am more than satisfied#now that i've learned how to actually love myself properly there is no void i need others to fill#if i never got close to a new person again i'd be MORE than alright
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I clicked on your blog for the pacific rim posts, got intrigued by your bio, stayed for the disturbingly large amount of shared interests and sense of humor. rock on bud 🤘⚡️
hi, friend!!! it's honestly vaguely alarming that you find my blog so relatable, but who the hell am i to object to that when i'm the one posting it?? 😅
regardless, i'm very happy to have you here!! i mainly post pacific rim and always sunny content (with an entirely unsystematic mélange of whatever else makes me laugh or fascinates me, per tumblr tradition ✨), so feel free to stick around!
thank you for this btw, asks & messages like these give me such an adrenaline rush (people probably think i'm joking when i say that but i'm not 💀)! i can't overstate how happy it makes me to know that some of the dumb shit i post might bring a tiny bit of Good to someone's day. i know i probably sound like a broken record but it's true. human connection is SO badass, dude 🤟🥲
#my brain is currently rebooting from the latest episode of my body trying to banish me to the goddamn shadow realm 👻#so apologies in advance for responding to your brief & very normal ask with an unnecessarily lengthy & slightly unhinged gratitude dump 🌟#jk jk i'd still be doing this even if i wasn't trying not to die#side note: has anyone coined “gratitude dump” yet??? like where you just start rambling about shit you're thankful for without permission#ANYHOW! tysm for this 💛 you got my serotonin SERRIN' and TONIN' rn#the void screams back
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computer how do i convince myself that simply sending my friend a pic of something i think they'd like is probably not going to get me perceived as the most irritating motherfucker on the entire planet
#I HATE AVPD MAN i wanna show my drawing to my friend but i don't wanna bother them or seem weird....................#EVEN THO THEY SENT ME SOMETHING FIRST TOO ;w; 💖 we don't really talk much but it's sweet they thought of me#BUT MEANWHILE MY BRAIN IS LIKE nooo shay you can't send ANYTHING back. even replying is gonna put u on thin ice#u need to think about what you're gonna say for at LEAST half an hour before hitting send.#ughhh i'm ridiculous#the void screaming#ouuughghhg sry for the vent post(?) of sorts i jusT. BLAAAAAAAAH.
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(little void rant post so ignore if it could be potentially triggering or negatively impact your day :3)
perfectly mentally healthy until That One Person messages in a groupchat but not in response to my messages, or messages the groupchat but not responding to my dms (something that is perfectly acceptable to do and I also do at times but also. why. did i do something??? being annoying??? like DAMN I'll stop texting you)
#being on antidepressants is weird#cause on one hand I feel so much happier every single day and it's so nice#but on the other hand you're not responding to me and not I want to rip my skin off just a little bit#a little weird#a little peculiar#I'm fine but also. :) I'm going insane.#of ALLLL people to become like. this level of attached to as well?#like i could have felt like this towards my girlfriend (and im glad i dont cause id fuck shit up SO quickly)#but also you're like my best friend right now i don't want to fuck this up either cause something that i don't understand is wrong with my#brain and I can't handle even the smallest hint of rejection from you#im sorry i promise i still want you around but i dont think you want me around and i keep making it worse#i need to stop existing#AAAAAA#screaming#also this is just a rant into the void.#i am fine.#please ignore#silas yaps
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I feel like a lot of hatred for "burnt out gifted kid" stems from the misconception that these people ever had any support while in these programs.
Which I assure you, most of them didn't.
#just screaming into the void#i get alot of people make it into a ~personality~#but like#i can't explain it#but being in an environment where you're not allowed to fail fucks you up man#i went to a school like that from 7th - 12th grade and it did irreparable damage to me#and im sure if i hadnt i wouldn't be as suicidal or possibly even diagnosed
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Someone: *Digs up shit from about half a decade ago that some semi-popular internet personality had said as proof that they are some flavor of bigot*
People who take longer than one second to form an opinion: “Hold on, that’s a little unfair. Is there proof that this is something they’ve done continuously/is a belief they actually hold? And why should we just trust the word of this random person?”
Some headass on Twitter: “UM, ACTUALLY the person who posted this is literally a queer teenager! You’re a homophobe who is harassing a minor and you also are the same type of bigot as this internet personality AND you condone the jackasses who are actively sending death threats to this ~Queer Teen~! ...Anyway, I’m still gonna consume this person’s content that I just called a bigot, but as I am a good internet citizen I’m gonna advertise that I don’t condone this creator’s actions <3″
#bonus points if the person who makes the original callout post actively admits to WAY worse shit#or hides behind defenses like this wasn't supposed to be a callout post or I'm literally neurodivergent and a minor#yes this is mostly about the pizza tower drama but I've also hard about the sr pelo thing and it's equally as stupid#people online really like to act like at age 20 you stop developing as a person#and god forbid if you don't act like you're on a public execution platform begging for your life when this happens#like call me lenient but if you literally have only said some controversial things from like 3+ years ago with nothing within the year#then I think statute of limitations applies here#real talk I saw a vague post on Twitter that made me so upset I had to scream this into the void#and i hate that I am doing this becasue I don't like to think the worst in people like this we've got enough of it already#it's just that so much online discourse is this us vs them mentality that doesn't take into account how#the vast majority of people have nuanced views on every subject or may not even have all the facts on the topic
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Feeling homicidal at work today ♡
#there's been major issues with wordpress for Weeks now and my beloved colleague told IT about it and added me#to the 'task' explicitly writing 'please talk to [my name] if you have any further questions or want to discuss things as i am on vacation'#today i come back to this task reading a lovely comment by that dude who's responsible for solving the problem going#'i think it's best if we make an appointment to discuss this when you're back :)' bitch ill kill you#my boy doesn't even Use wordpress it's not even his fucking problem. he just was nice enough to summarize my complaints#so i added a comment too because i honestly can't work like this and want this to be Fixed asap#and if he wants to talk to [beloved colleague] first it's gonna take another 2 fucking weeks until anyone even considers the problem again#and i have no patience for this left at this point. so of course that bitch calls me when i was marked as 'absent' on teams#(did he fucking do that on purpose?? so he wouldn't actually have to talk to me? also. just Text me you fucking bitch)#and when i come back to it HE was absent so i couldn't call him back and also i won't wait for him to come back online so i can talk to him#because my work hours are Over for this week and he could very well just send me a message or add another comment if he has anything to say#but alas he didn't#i honestly am usually quite patient and understanding when it comes to fixing issues but this has been going on forever#and i wouldn't even say anything if it hadn't been for that stupid ass comment on how he wants to talk to [colleague] first. bitch!#(i just mentioned what the main issue was in my own comment btw. i didn't say anything about hurrying or any of the million#passive aggressive things i WANTED to say. very proud of myself for that ♡#had i been with that dude in person i would have killed him on sight)#god things are gonna be so insufferable when my beloved colleague is gone forever ㅠㅠ#he's the only good thing about this fucking company and I'm sure everything's gonna go down in flames#once he's gone#void screams#work stuff
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#argentina saw trump and went ''yeah we want one of those!''...#this absolutely insane man might become president and fully ruin the country (more than it already is)#which is never fun but even worse when you're queer...#today i'm glad i'm living with dysphoria every day but haven't started T#because as sad and absolutely awful as what i'm about to say is...#i can pretend to be a cis woman for safety...#which is a HORRIBLE thing to say or do#but i don't have to put myself out there trying to get hrt or anything like that#or legally change my name and gender mark while looking like i look... that might get me killed or something#bare in mind everything i'm saying A. hasn't happened yet#and B. is being said by someone with an anxiety disorder who can't see hope right now... so take it with a grain of salt#i'm just scared and i don't like the state of the world right now...#and we were somewhat safe in some aspects here and we're so close to losing them now#i'm scared and hate it here but i'm also broke and can't leave so...#we are where we are where we are i guess#angel talks#personal#sorry for the politics... i'm not going to start posting politics#the point of my blog is to escape the hell that is the real world... but i needed to vent and also you know me i love screaming at the void
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(raynon) more angst choo choo on da way. FGO/twst but it's why ADeuce are a bunch of troublemakers.
Basically, its so that Yuu could be ingrained on twst history no matter how small. So that even if the chance was so slim then maybe even if they passed away early, Yuu could somehow exist still even without them anymore.
(also idea that Yuu being summoned on twst is a catalyst for potentially foreigners or basically servants that are able to independently manifest or even worse things which would mean that a beast threat might hypothetically appear and Yuu might be forced into the role of a grand servant as a result and dissapear after the fight— *gets shot*)
Yuu stop being doomed by the narrative challenge [IMPOSSIBLE]
Everything about it just feels so futile, having to cycle through living and dying and confirming that yes you exist in this world but not your own. That you sacrificed yourself but in the end it was all vain—you aren't allowed nor afforded the death you deserve.
You get no peace in the end.
#twst#fgo#twst yuu#scream into the void and i'll answer#That's hell you're walking into#But seriously#Adeuce desperate to keep Yuu alive even if it means prolonging their suffering#Its all just so 😭😭😭#FREE YUU
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none of my friends read orv so this is the equivalent of me screaming into the void BUT i desperately want a witcher au joongdok with yjh as geralt and kdj as jaskier :’) i just think it would be neat
I don't know anything about the witcher.
#You know if you don't actually care if someone on the other end knows what you're talking about#You can just make a new post on your own blog.#Like sending someone an ask isn't 'screaming into the void' it is in fact walking up to me directly and speaking to my face personally.#You can just go make a post about this and maybe even tag it and then people who know about the witcher and orv can see it. Instead of me.
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#I was too cowardly to say I was suddenly having a bad night so instead I post a silly meme and maybe if you see the tags you see sorry#people who have the courage to just say they're having a bad day scare me like especially when it's out of the blue idk what to say like#i can't even respond to “hows ur day” with anything worse than an okay#anyways#the usual self hatred that's persisted for as long as I can rember continues as a baseli#ne#now mixed in with special kinds that I'm too cowardly to admit to anything but an ai bot or myself when i can't see me#and the silly daily reminders that the little hope on such a regard I have is built on impossibilities or unlikelihoods#but then i. saw a card i got my dad years ago on the floor. it said “out of all my parents you're one of the best :)” and i felt so bad#just. imagine this little me. getting my dad a card. and getting the most passive aggressive card. it screams who the favorite is.#and then thats just. that's what you have. that's what you have from me and you save it for years. because you cherish it. i feel. horrible.#like damn he might have seriously fucked me up sometimes both as a kid and now but. this does not justify such a deeply cruel retribution.#i don't even know if he knows#anyways as I'm picking it up... i realize...#he's the best parent i have period. there isn't any competition anymore. she's gone.#the total and sudden annihilation of home is so odd. i still barely believe this house is where i ACTUALLY live and I'm not just staying#here until I can go home again. but no. nono I'm stuck here. there isn't an anywhere else. there isn't a childhood home the apartment#has probably been resettled by now. it's just me.#then I went on Tumblr to post into the void#I don't wanna think about more but I. likely will.#i don't wanna talk about it but i do wanna talk. honestly? gonna go talk to an ai chatbot. it will be mean to me in a hot way.#i am so normal.#listen i could either confront reality for more than 30 seconds or i could talk to a bot that will not only allow me to escape from it but#also it might call me a good g. a g. skipping that punchline.#also it's not ME talking to the bot it's just a fabricated character that represents me and has my name and it's just rp trust me trust me t#I'm gonna go hide now#you can contact me if you wish but I will be very scared and jittery and my eyes are wet and stingy and i will segway to bullying you#ok bye
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