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pshaven · 10 months

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Jake jerking off as he listens in on you touching yourself in the other room. Him getting driven over the edge as he hears you moan his name 😭🙏

soooooooo i went a bit offtrack... hope u don't mind !! happy birthday jakester

cw! fem!reader, jake is a perv (again), masturbating (m & f), some jay x reader, reader is a literal menace, i think i added more plot than i intended..

jake didn’t mean to hear you the first time. it was purely an accident, having gotten home early once in a blue moon. your door was slightly peaked open, knowing that jake would usually still be out at this time. with a hand dipped between your thighs, hips bucking when your fingers don’t reach as deep as you want them to, jake was quick to scurry into his bedroom as quietly as possible. he didn’t even realize he popped a boner, but you’re his roommate! he really did try everything in his power to will down the hardon in his pants; grandma’s undies, heeseung’s feet—

much to his dismay, your wanton moans invaded his head like a parasite and he was only getting harder by the second. the first time was an accident. the second time was a… coincidence. he was already scrolling through his spank bank at one in the morning, half hard cock in his hand until he hears a faint noise on the other side of the wall where his head was resting. he recognizes it’s your voice when you make another sound, one that he realizes you’re whimpering quietly.

his dick seemed to spring to life after registering your whines and moans, and he found himself throwing his phone to the side, spank bank long forgotten as he focuses on the image in his head of you touching yourself. he’s not much of an edger, or so he thought, his hand coming to a quick stop when he felt his balls tighten and cock twitch in his hand. you’re still going, and a sick part of himself wants to cum when you cum, so he catches his breath until he hears you get a bit louder, a bit whinier with your bed sheets rustling that signals him you’re getting close.

his fist speeds up, head thrown back and his head meets the wall but he can’t register the loud thump he makes when he feels his orgasm coming up, his chest bubbling as he lifts the bottom edge of his shirt up to his mouth to bite down on it, muffling his groans. he cursed under his breath, your name leaving his lips and into his shirt as his bare stomach was now littered with spurts of cum.

the third time it happened, he plans it. you have a pattern, he realized after a late night pondering (post jack off). then after the third time, it became his guilty pleasure. the showers afterwards were when he would feel the guilt part, with him unable to look you in the eye the next morning.

you’re attractive— it’s something jake won’t deny, but you weren’t his type.. but somewhere along the way his type changed. he’s been eyeing you differently, more nervous and his palms get more sweaty around you. he thinks he’s subtle, but you’re not stupid.

if the walls are thin enough for him to hear you, then you can hear him too. he’s not exactly the quiet groans and growls kind of guy… you find that he’s more gasps and moans between the wall that separates the two of you. you also don’t miss the way he rubs his palms against his bottoms whenever you engage in small talk with him.

but you’ve always found jake attractive. he’s been your type since you’ve moved in, meeting him for the first time. the two of you aren’t really bestie-level close, but it’s not awkward when you two eat with each other. it’s quiet and intimate and sometimes you’ll delude yourself into thinking it’s a sweet domestic moment. so imagine your happiness when you hear a muffled moan of your name coming from jake’s room.

you’re sharply aware whenever jake is listening in on you, jacking off whenever you touch yourself. you should be creeped out by it but it gives you some sort of sick satisfaction that you have this power over him. so.. when you come up with the idea to play with him for a bit, you feel a bit evil.

jay’s cute, right? cute enough to fuck for a night. and jay’s name is close enough to jake’s name, right? close enough to play with jake’s mind for a night.

it wasn’t hard to convince jay to fool around with you, you know you’re attractive and you know your way to flirt with a guy. you invite him over to your shared apartment with jake, blatantly ignoring your roommate who’s sitting in the living room, mindlessly channel surfing.

he’s used to a hi at least from you whenever you enter, but he sees a second reflection behind you from the screen. he (not so) distinctly turns his head around, just barely missing the back of jay’s head before the two of you enter your room and you shut the door.

since when have you ever hung out with jay? jake’s confused, but his thoughts are quickly interrupted when he hears you giggle, a moan following after than he can tell was muffled, probably by jay’s hand. jake is quick to put the pieces together, quickly rushing to his room in embarrassment as he grabs his airpods in an attempt to plug his ears for the night.

he’s not used to you bringing people home, not that you can’t but he assumes it’s a mutual respect that you’ve never brought anyone home and neither has he. he has no right to be mad at you… and he’s not! but the swirling pit in his stomach is growing larger by the moment with every giggle and faint moan he can hear.

but the pit in his stomach isn’t the only one that’s growing, his cock beginning to harden in his pants like it’s muscle memory whenever he hears you moan. he palms his face, trying to will himself, saving the little dignity he has left. which is close to zero as he pulls himself out of his sweats, precum already leaking at the tip as he sighs.

“ah, jay!” jake hears you moan, his head leaning against the wall as he slowly begins to stroke himself. he can almost hear the sloppy noises from your room if he really closed his eyes and listen, he’s assuming jay’s eating you out. what he would do to be the one to eat you out instead.

“oh f-fuck, don’t stop, jay,” you gasp at the intrusion of jay’s fingers into your entrance, eyes closing shut. you know jake’s in his room, hearing his door shut shortly after you and jay entered your room. you make sure to be a bit louder than you normally would be, guessing that jake’s on the other side of the wall listening in on you.

jake’s already feeling close, your whines like music to his ears. he’s imagining you’re saying j instead of jay’s actual name, like a new little nickname you’ve given him. he’s stroking himself faster as you continue to chant jay’s name, knowing that you’re getting close.

but then you stop moaning suddenly, and his hand comes to a halt as he stifles a groan. his chest is heaving up and down, his tip an angry flush of red as he waits for you to actually come to an orgasm. he hears a whine and a gasp from you, and he can only imagine what your cute face will look like when his cock splits you open, slowly entering himself inside of you.

but he’s not the one that’s fucking you right now— as it seems like jay has a different approach when you suddenly squeal, a loud gasp leaving your lips and jake can only vision that jay has fully bottomed out in you at once. “jay!!” he hears you call out, imagining it’s you calling his faux nickname.

shutting his eyes tightly, jake speeds up his hand stroking his cock faster as he hears the sloppy slapping of skin against skin on the other side of the wall. it’s so vile, he feels disgusting but you sound so hot and jake can’t help it. he’s groaning into his hand again, praying you’re cumming soon because he doesn’t think he can edge himself any further.

“o-oh my fffuck! i’m coming.. cumming jay!!” you scream, and jake follows suit as well, wishing his cum could mix with yours instead of just laying on his abdomen. he does his best to stifle his moans, biting into the back of his hand as he catches his breath. he can still hear jay’s skin slapping against yours, your overstimulated moans only springing his cock back to life.

the next morning, you wake up earlier than you usually do to catch jake in the kitchen. “good morning,” you hum innocently, opening the fridge only to get nothing before closing it up. jake, as you expected, can’t look you in your eyes, the shame of jerking off to you with another man is too much to bear. “sleep well?” you continue to press him, slowly creeping your way behind him where his back is turned to you.

“uh- good… i guess. could be better,” he mumbles sheepishly as he turns around, your close presence making him jump a bit. “what, um, what about you?” he stumbles on his words, your body so close to his that it makes him nervous but he does nothing to move away.

“i slept real good,” you smile, eyes teasing him when you look up and down his body and you don’t miss the way his Adam’s apple portrays his nervous swallow. “but i’m sure you heard allll about it… j”.

#enhypen smut #enhypen #enhypen x reader #jake x reader #jake smut #jaeyun x reader #jaeyun smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen fanfic #jay smut #jay x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines

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sorcerersseestars · 1 year

Text

synopsis: Gojo blames you for the first-years' disaster that the higher-ups caused.

pairing: Gojo Satoru x gn! reader

genre: hurt/comfort, angst to fluff

warnings: mention of death/a corpse, yelling, heavy feelings of self-blame, stuttering (it makes sense here tho I promise), emotionally constipated Gojo, mention of not eating for an extended period of time/being hungry (due to the situation), manga spoilers!! (star plasma vessel arc), indirect confessions

word count: 5.2k

notes: There are some slightly non-canon details. I’m pretty sure that Nanami and Yuji don’t know each other at this point, but let’s pretend they do. Also, I’m insinuating a more seasoned bond between Gojo and Yuji/reader and Yuji - let’s also pretend that they’ve been teaching Yuji for longer at this point, for more angst potential. :) LAST THING - you used to be a very mediocre child/adolescent actor in a few small/bad films. Only relevant for one detail.

Also, Gojo may be a bit ooc here - possibly overdramatic in his wordings - but I really wanted to write a Gojo that loses control of his emotions, since I think it'd be difficult to elicit such a reaction from him. I hope it suits him okay!!

GOJO HAS ALWAYS had a soft spot for you. In high school, he would regularly volunteer himself to take your blame, even though you never asked him to do it and would practically begged him not to. But, he was frustratingly persistent and would do it despite your many protests. If you ever cheated on an assignment, Gojo would claim he copied yours. If you fumbled during a mission, Gojo would lie in the report. If you both snuck out and got caught, Gojo would say he dragged you out with force. Whenever you would have an argument with someone, Gojo would comfort you afterwards, insisting the other person was in the wrong even when they obviously weren’t.

Although he has eventually ramped down this ridiculous treatment over the years, you will never forget this boyish idiosyncrasy from your younger days.

Today, however, it’s like those days never even existed. You don't recognize the person standing in front of you. You can’t blame him for his reaction – it's wholly natural – but it still jars you.

Today, you fucked up. You fucked up so badly that there's a very permanent, unchangeable consequence to your actions – or rather, your lack thereof. The consequence of your stupidity, the result of your thoughtlessness, lies unmoving in this room. The body of Itadori Yuji, separated from reality only by the thin plastic covering of a body bag, rests on a table only feet from where you stand.

His mentor, one sworn to protecting his students, sworn to delaying his impending execution as much as possible, stands before you. His signature blindfold obscures his eyes, and you can only imagine the wild, swirling gaze you would be faced with in its absence.

Yuji’s mentor – your long time close friend, who has never blamed you in any great capacity for anything through the entirety of your friendship – now looks at you scathingly.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” He spits, tone icy.

He's not looking at you as he rigidly hovers over the operating table, but you can feel the intensity of his emotions despite the distance. Words fall out of your brain, and you struggle to string together a cohesive thought.

“I-" You try to swallow the lump in your throat. “The higher-ups told me not to go with them, I don’t know wh–"

He barks out a harsh laugh, cutting off your pathetic excuse. His head is in his hands, fingers roughly carding through his disheveled hair. He pauses in his ministrations to face you: he is suddenly towering over you, broad frame filling even the corners of your vision.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” He growls. “Did you stop to think for even a second? Why would they ever ask a teacher to stay behind?”

Tears begin to slide down you cheeks. You quickly wipe them away and will your building urge to break down to go away.

He sighs, his breath leaving him loudly and aggressively. “I don’t understand how this happened. You know how this works, (Y/N)! You know how the higher-ups are!”

“I’m sorry,” You choke out quietly, voice stretched and thin. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t bring him back, (Y/N)!” Gojo shouts.

Shoko and Ijichi are silent. Shoko is looking at the ground, her stony expression difficult to determine. Shoko, your friend who always sticks up for you no matter what, especially when dealing with Gojo. Shoko, who hasn’t spoken a single word to you since you arrived. For once, she agrees with him.

Your eyes land on the black body bag laying on the operating table, and you can’t hold it back any longer. Your legs weaken underneath you and you begin to shake. The sobs you’ve been suppressing rip out of your throat. Ugly, choking sobs.

Nobody moves to comfort you. If anything, Gojo’s scowl deepens, and Shoko turns away at your display of emotion.

“I know,” You sob. “I know it doesn’t. I know it's my fault.”

You take a few shaky breaths. “I didn’t know- I didn’t mean for it to happen- I- it’s my fault.”

He slides his blindfold down, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. You are about to blurt something else out, but before the words can leave your tongue, you catch his gaze and you’re immediately frozen. His boiling blue irises steal your breath and leave you rooted to the spot. Never in your life have you seen him this angry or even display this much emotion.

“If you keep standing there and crying, I think I’m going to kill something,” He says lowly.

“Gojo,” Shoko interjects in a warning tone.

Gojo bites back, “Why not? We all want the higher-ups gone. It’d be so easy. Shit like this wouldn’t happen anymore.”

Ijichi pales. Shoko roughly says, “Are you crazy?”

He doesn’t answer, and the determined look on his face isn’t necessarily comforting. It seems a storm is brewing – the most powerful sorcerer is being driven to a point.

You’re reaching a point, too – your breaking point. You feel like you can’t breathe. When you inhale, your lungs refuse to inflate past the shallowest of breaths. It’s all hitting you now, clear thoughts rising past the fog of adrenaline that overwhelmed your mind. The reality is that you fucked up, and it’s not fixable.

You fucked up, and there’s no going back in time to change your decision, to go against orders to stay with your students. There’s no way to bring Yuji back.

“Why are you still here?” Gojo says with an exasperated huff, addressing you directly. “Seeing you only adds to my anger.”

You say nothing, your mind occupied only with your regrets. He frowns and tries again.

"Unless you want to dive further into this preventable death," He says coldly. "Leave. There's still a job to be done.”

You barely hear his words. Your brain doesn’t have the energy to collect them, to interpret them, as it hyper-fixates on the horrible hole forming in your heart. Your eyes are wide, pupils enlarged, and you are visibly quivering.

“Didn’t you hear me? You need to leave!” Gojo growls, frustrated at your lack of reaction, believing it to be indifference.

“They must be in shock, Gojo,” Shoko murmurs. “They’re shutting down.”

Shoko’s diagnosis is indeed correct. You don’t hear a single word that comes out of their mouths; your shoulders and heart have grown heavy, leaden, from knowing the fate you led your students to. One deceased, two severely injured. All because of a risk you did not take, an order you did not disobey.

Yuji’s bright smile burns into the back of your eyes, a reminder of what you’ve lost, of the ultimate mistake.

One second, your eyes are on the black body bag, and the next second you can’t see anything, your vision blurred by tears and by speed. You’re running, you realize, legs pumping as fast as they can. Your lungs ache and your legs cramp up, but you can’t will yourself to stop. You can’t think. You can’t catch your breath.

When you inevitably collapse, you don’t know where you are or how much time has passed. It’s just a patch of grass damp with dew, a few maple trees dotting the banks of a small neighboring stream. You’re laying under one of these trees, your arms outstretched so your fingers can comb through the cool, wet blades of grass. You’re vaguely aware the the sun set at some point after you left. Maybe it’s been a hour, or a few more. You have no idea.

You want to scream, you want to cry, but you don’t. You can’t; it won’t come. When his grinning face and determined smile taunt you, reminding you of your sins, you can only screw your eyes shut, willing the torture to end.

Wetness finally runs down your face, and you taste salt. It is oddly comforting. Your hands repeatedly grab the gentle grass, numbing your mind until exhaustion eventually overtakes you.

There’s a buzzing filling your brain. You groan and roll over, reaching out to your bedside table to grab the offending object. You startle at the feeling of sharp gravel under your fingertips – it’s unpleasantly damp, as well, leaving muddy residue on your hands.

The buzzing starts again, and this time you clearly feel the vibrations through your leg. You sit up, scooting back until your back firmly hits the tree trunk behind you, and force your tired eyelids to part. You have to squint, as the sun has already risen and has crossed the sky a fair amount – it must be approaching noon already.

When the buzzing persists, you grumpily rip the phone out of your pocket. It’s not an alarm, as you had expected. In fact, you startle at the caller ID: Gojo Satoru.

You stare at your phone blankly, your brain buffering. You ultimately let it ring out, although your finger hovers over the answer button. Once the screen fades to your usual background, your throat goes dry. Missed calls from Shoko, Nanami, and Gojo fill your screen. You quickly skim the accompanying texts and wince.

Shoko <3: I know we’re all upset, but we shouldn’t have taken it out on you…just let me know you’re alright, okay? (10:43 pm)

‘Nanamin’: I heard what happened. It isn’t your fault, (Y/N), no matter what anyone says. Call me if you need anything. (6:26 am)

Satoru: Where are you? (11:34 pm)

Satoru: Pick up (11:59 pm)

Satoru: please (12:03 am)

Satoru: I fucked up. I need to talk to you, please let me (12:05 am)

Satoru: I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but let someone, anyone, know you’re alright… (7:12 am)

Satoru: Megumi just told me he tried to visit you but you still weren’t home. (Y/N), please…say anything…I need to know that you’re okay (11:17 am)

It all rushes back to you: your lethal mistake, the deserved reaction you received from your two best friends, how you shamefully ran away. Fuck. There’s no way you can face any of them, especially not Megumi.

You wish this never happened. Hot tears burn your cheeks again; your eyes flood with regret. Shame quickly floods through you, making you feel hot all over. How can you feel sorry for yourself when it was your fault in the first place?

You roughly wipe your face with your sleeve and stick your phone back into your pocket. There’s no way you can respond right now. It’s bound to die soon, anyway, so there’s no point in trying.

You don’t want to move from where you sit. You want to sink into the ground and stay there until the horrible feeling inside you goes away. But…

“What if it doesn’t?” You whisper those words out into the universe, a sinking feeling in your gut telling you the answer.

You want to cry more, allow yourself to shed more tears, but you don’t. You wobbly stand up, and are surprised at how weak you are. When was the last time you ate – yesterday morning, before the disastrous mission?

You have to go home. You can’t stay here, in the middle of nowhere, neglecting yourself. It’s a thought that rings in your head and won’t leave you alone until you decide to listen. Okay. You will go home. You can manage that.

It takes a while, but you find your way back to your apartment. Last night, you had apparently meandered into an expanse of empty land neighboring the school, as you pass by Jujutsu Tech on your way back. It is a bit off the beaten path – you doubt anyone has ever intentionally gone where you ended up last night.

During your journey home, you have to reference your Google Maps app a few times, but you somehow successfully get back home, despite your directional challenges and weakened state.

Until you step into your apartment, you don’t realize how cold you are. Your feet are numb from being cold and wet, your toes icy when you peel the damp socks off. You cringe at how unaware you have been at your body for the past 24 hours: your mental state ignored all physical needs.

Your stumble to your bedroom, aching body screaming for a rest. You relent easily, collapsing on your bed face first. You’re so grimy and covered in remnants of the dirt bed you laid in last night, evidence of your outside stay covering your clothing. Bits of twigs and leaves invite themselves into your sheets – you couldn’t care less right now, though. You don’t even think about it.

On instinct, you plug your dead phone in without even looking. There’s silence for a minute or two before it whirs back to life, the screen flashing at your tired eyes.

There’s another message waiting to be opened.

Megumi: Come back soon, sensei. He’s getting unsufferable

Megumi:…more than usual

A hoarse chuckle leaves your throat, the first laugh that’s left you since the whole incident. You sigh immediately after though, as you begin to wonder how Megumi has been dealing with everything. If you hadn’t run away, then…

Your head is in your hands again. No matter what path your thinking strays down, you keep returning to your immense guilt over what happened.

You wish you were mad at someone. You wish that you felt angry at Gojo, but you aren’t – you can’t be. In your eyes, he wasn’t wrong; how could you be mad at him when you agree?

You’re not mad, but there’s this other unpleasant feeling. It feels like one of Nobara’s nails has been lodged in your chest, and every time you think about his reaction, the nail twists a little deeper into your heart. He’s never yelled at you before. That hurt.

It’s understandable, but it still hurts.

Gojo…You don’t think you can face him yet, but he may come to you if your radio silence continues. Maybe you should just get it over with and call him. You can just tell him you’re alive and hang up. That should suffice.

Without thinking further on it, you grab your phone and dial his number. Within two rings, the line connects.

“Yo, (Y/N)! Long time no hear!” His chirpy voice booms through your speakers. He’s back to his usual self – overly casual and full of mirth. He sounds way too cheerful; it throws you off guard.

A sharp inhale leaves you as you’re about to tell him that you’re fine and to not worry, so that you can hang up and avoid him. But, nothing comes out. Everything you thought of saying flies out of your brain. You’re left wordless, mouth hanging open.

“You there? (Y/N)?”

You shake your head, coming to your senses.

“Yes,” The single word that leaves you is weak and breathy.

“You good? Are you home now?”

“Yeah. Home now. I’m alive, so no need to bother checking in on me,” You say thoughtlessly.

God, that was lame. You can’t help but cringe at what you just said. It’s what you intended to convey, yes, but that’s not how you wanted to say it.

“Just alive? Sounds real peppy over there!” He chuckles. “I was going to come over anyway, but you’ve really pushed it over the edge.”

“Ah,” You say somewhat panicked, searching for a way out of this. “There’s really no need. I just need rest so there’s no need. I’ll see you later, then.”

“You mean soon!” He chirps before you can hang up. You groan into your pillow; this is exactly what you had been trying to avoid. How are you even going to look at him?

You’ve just put your phone back on your nightstand when there’s sudden footsteps approaching your bedroom. Before you can think further, the door is flung upon and a familiar figure appears before you.

“Ultimate best friend Gojo Satoru has arrived! Everyone applaud!”

A series of small claps ensues, while you just stare on in silence and disgruntlement. A wide smile stretches across his face at your displeased expression.

“C’mon angel, not even a single clap? That’s cold.”

You roll your eyes, but only half-heartedly. The gesture is so pathetically slight that Gojo’s smile falls a fraction. You don’t have much emotional energy to expend on humoring him, it seems. Because of him.

It’s then that he fully takes in your appearance. Tear stained cheeks, dirt caking your clothes and body, scraps of organic material matted in your hair and clinging to all parts of you. There’s even smudges of dirt around your eyes where you’ve attempted to wipe away tears.

He questions your appearance, trying to appear lighthearted, “Was the forest calling you? You really didn’t sleep here?”

You immediately feel self-conscious of your appearance and cross your arms. You manage out a quiet, “Something like that.”

“No, seriously…where did you sleep?” He probes, this time lacking the lightheaded tone.

A weak, sheepish smile appears on your lips, “Ah…the ground? You were right, I guess.”

He blinks. You rub the back of your head and avoid eye contact, softly laughing an awkward little chuckle.

“Seriously?” He asks, but it lacks any judgment. He is truly just in disbelief.

You just nod.

“Hey, are you…are you sure you’re okay?”

You weren’t expecting that. You wish he would stay in his childish mindset – these real questions are worse.

You breathe out slowly, “I mean…yeah. I’m fine.”

It’s not a very convincing delivery, but it was the best you could manage. The corners of his lips turn down slightly, almost unnoticeably, but he doesn’t comment on your answer. He knows he should question you further, dig a little deeper, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he excuses himself, “I’ll be right back. Just stay put! I’ll know if you move, so you better not move an inch.”

He raises two fingers to his eyes, then directs them to you, clearly saying ‘I have my eyes on you!’

It’s amusing - he’s always amusing - but when you try to smile, your lips just flatline. You can’t tell if he notices, since he has already turned away and walked into the bathroom, but you hope he couldn’t tell.

When he returns, he’s holding a dampened washcloth.

“Bath time!” He says, shaking the cloth excitedly in front of you. You flinch a little as a few stray drops of water unexpectedly land on you, which he lightly laughs at.

And then he begins swiping away the dirt that has accumulated on your body. He starts with your face. He’s on his knees, one elbow resting on the space neighboring your right thigh, leaning in to have more control with the cloth. You close your eyes when his face comes within inches of yours - too close. Even when you feel as horrible as you do now, your heart won’t stop thumping quickly against your ribs, as if it cannot deny those deeply hidden feelings you harbor.

He hums while he works, gently dabbing all the places where you have visible dirt. It’s comforting, or at least it should be. You heart begins to clench tightly, and you so badly want a hole to appear in the ground to swallow you up.

“Gojo, why are you being so nice now?” You ask, voice small. “I don’t really deserve it. I’d…prefer the alternative. This feels wrong right now.”

He sets down the cloth, wincing at your pitiful words. Is that how you really feel?

He pauses. He’s not good at this sort of thing – acknowledging other people’s vulnerability, lowering his own walls to empathize with others, any of it. He hates it. He hates how emotionally he acted yesterday, he hates how it has affected you.

“No,” He sighs. He speaks slowly as he carefully chooses his words, “I…shouldn’t have acted like that yesterday. It wasn’t fair to you.”

Your bottom lip trembles, but you force yourself not to cry, “It’s okay. I don’t blame you for it. Everyone was thinking it.”

He tries to catch your eye, but your gaze is downcast. He ducks, lowering himself to the ground even more, to enter your field of vision.

“Hey,” He says softly. “Do you trust me?”

Your brow furrows; you don’t understand why he’s asking you that. You feel yourself nodding, though.

“Everything I said yesterday,” He starts, but then shakes his head at himself. “No, everything I yelled at you yesterday – it was misdirected. What happened wasn’t your fault. There was no way of knowing what was about to happen.”

“But now, it’s obvious,” You mumble. “I should have known.”

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty. You were following orders. The ones assigning the orders are at fault, not you.”

You grab your sheets with tight fists. You turn your head to the side, away from his invisible gaze, “Orders that were obviously suspect. It’s still my fault as an experienced sorcerer.”

Gojo’s chest constricts. You sound exactly like he did yesterday; the consequences of his actions echo back to him from your mouth.

“I promise it’s not,” He insists, but it falls on deaf ears. “I’ve made mistakes too. I’ve made mistakes, but you never treated me like I treated you yesterday.”

Gojo clenches his teeth. This is hard. He hates bringing up this side of the past, but he’ll do it for you.

“You never judged me for what happened during the Star Plasma Vessel mission. Even though you wanted to leave that night, and I ignored you, you never blamed me.”

“You were seventeen,” You say quietly, shakily. “We were all kids. That was over a decade ago.”

“But you knew how to make it better,” He says breathlessly. “And you never even once insinuated that it was my fault.”

You smile sadly at him, and your next words are sure and immediate, “Because it wasn’t.”

Gojo’s mouth hangs open for a second, still amazed at the understanding and kindness that so easily shine through you even in the darkest moments.

He reaches out for your hands, unsure, and squeezes them when he finds them. “Can I…can I start over ? From yesterday?”

You blink blankly, not completely understanding, but give a hesitant nod anyway.

He exhales deeply and lowers his head to your hands until his forehead brushes your fingertips. It’s completely unexpected, and you freeze upon contact. His head is bowed to you – embarrassment and confusion flood you.

You are relieved when he raises his head to speak.

“What happened with our students isn’t your fault,” He says quietly but with conviction. “It’s the work of the higher ups - it’s their fault, nobody else’s. I’m…”

He pauses. Words he never says need to come out.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this happened while you were here and I was away, I’m sorry that I blamed you for things out of your control. This was never your fault.”

You are silent. You say nothing. You don’t move. Your expression stays blank.

He panics. He takes your silence as a sign of not being forgiven – which is not what he fears, in fact he doesn’t want to be forgiven. But he doesn’t want to lose you, and that’s exactly what he thinks has happened. Did he completely sever the bond spanning more than a decade?

“I understand if you can’t forgive me, but,” He swallows thickly, the anxious feeling rising. “But I hope this doesn’t…”

He tries again, “I hope our friendship…I hope you- I don’t want to lose you after all we-”

“Satoru – it’s not that,” You say quickly. “You haven’t, I promise. I have already forgiven you. I forgave you from the moment it started.”

You close your eyes, clenching them shut. You don’t want to cry again. “It’s just that…even if I’m not directly at fault, Yuji is still dead. Our student is dead. Despite anything that can be said of the situation, that fact will not change.”

He really shouldn’t tell you this. He needs to, but he shouldn’t.

“Do you trust me?” He says again, voice only a whisper. He’s even closer now, only inches away. A hand raises to ease his blindfold down so that it rests loosely around his neck.

Your eyes on his are so clear, and reveal so much – surprised by his bare gaze, confusion clear in your beautiful eyes he finally can see so clearly up close.

“Of course,” You whisper breathlessly. “Always have.”

“Close your eyes, and hold on,” He says. “Don’t want you getting lost again, angel.”

You know what that means. Teleportation. But where could he be taking you that is so important right now? Maybe somewhere he knows you like to calm you down?

You’re taken aback by the rush of air around you even though you’ve traveled like this many times.

The few uncomfortable moments in the strange vortex allow you to question where be could be possibly be taking you. Before you can decide on an answer, however, the roar in your ears subsides, and you are steadied by his grip around your shoulders. He's so close again, wisps of his soft hair tickling your neck. One of his large hands drops down to clutch yours. You’re ashamed about now nice it all feels in such a situation.

Then all that slips away and you're immediately on guard - there's another cursed presence nearby.

“Gojo-sensei, you’re back? That movie was kind of weird and bad, but I swear that one character was (L/N)-sensei. Do they have a twin or something?”

Your eyes pop open. Your hand falls out of Gojo’s as your grip completely goes slack. That voice…Youthful, full of energy and a kind innocence. It could only be...

Gojo responds ecstatically, dramatically, “Ah, but of course not! I have brought an honored guest! An old time Hollywood star whose home was the red carpet! The famed, the budding talent, (Y/N)-”

He’s cut off by a shriek. He blinks twice, and you’re already far from his side, rushing to the secret he has to keep - the secret he couldn’t possibly keep from you.

You crash into Yuji, binding him in a crushing hug. He's open mouthed and spluttering in surprise, but you don't have it in you to be embarrassed right now. You have no idea how, but he is standing before you, living and breathing. As seemingly endless tears pour down your face, you miss now the confusion on his face morphs into a look of grim understanding. He doesn't know what you went through, but he can guess.

And then you're laughing. Crying and laughing. Heaving breaths to accommodate your almost hysterical laughter, standing back to wipe away your tears before hugging Yuji again.

The sight of you hugging your student so tightly, healing with just this action, coaxes a half smile out of Gojo. Only half because he is in danger of faltering himself, bottom lip wavering as a wave of emotion flows over him.

The abandoned blindfold is clenched tightly in his hand as he tries to hold back the emotions welling in his brilliant eyes. He almost wants to put it back on to hide the emotions underneath, but he can’t, not when the whole reason he took it off was to see this with his own eyes.

No words are exchanged for a long while. They don't need to be, and even Gojo can see that.

By the time he is taking you home, your dynamic has shifted back to something more normal. It's raining, but you insist on walking back, citing the fact that his teleportation makes you horribly dizzy. (Or maybe, just maybe, you want a little more time with him. But you'd never admit that to yourself.)

The constant overhead drizzle is a bit annoying, but is bearable despite Gojo's claims of it tainting his very existence. He’s clearly back to his overdramatics - it's comforting.

The streets are dark, with only muted warm yellow lights lining the sidewalks, creating only vague halos of light due to the misty air. Gojo walks close to your side, an arm wrapping protectively around your shoulders. At some point through your chatting, it slips down to your waist. You don't notice it right away, but once you do, all you can do is wonder if he's done that before - if it's normal for friends.

You notice something else strange. His blindfold is still loosely hanging from his body, his baby blues on display. It's hard to look at him like this - you feel too exposed - even though you desperately want to get lost in his eyes. Yes, your deep affection for him still rings true, even if he yelled at you, even if he did expose your horrible, cringey child acting.

“I can’t believe you put on that movie!” You exclaim, miming exasperation.

Gojo chuckles, “Scolding me again, that’s a good sign. Even if it’s for an illogical reason – c’mon, ‘Painters in Paris’ is a classic!”

You can’t hold back your wide, devious smile, “I guess you would think that since you literally look like a fucking paint brush!”

His jaw drops, and he looks at you faux-offended as you practically double over in laughter.

“Angel! No, I really should be calling you devil! You- get over here!”

Although you run from him, he quickly catches up to you and you’re in his grasp. He immediately overwhelms you with vicious tickles.

“Gojo!! Satoru, you– stop that!” You say between bouts of laughter. You’re off balance, and his relentless attack isn’t helping. “Hey, stop, I’m gonna–!”

You stumble and begin to topple to the cold cement, but you’re scooped up before you meet your demise.

A small gasp escapes you at your proximity, and at his eyes so clearly looking deeply into yours, yearning burning through them. He's never looked at you like this - has he?

“Woah! That was close, huh, angel?” He smiles, tone nonchalant and voice steady. He seems unaffected by your closeness, but his eyes tell a different story. You don't know what to trust - him or his eyes. But they say that the eyes are the windows into the soul – what answer does that leave you with?

And what answer do you have? Right now, with his strong arms around you, those beautiful eyes glittering as if they hold a sea of stars, that sweet smile that never fails to give you butterflies, those lips you can’t help but glance at for too long–

You know.

Without thinking, you give in to your instinct to keep leaning in, and your lips meet his. It's not a passionate crash, but more of a gentle whisper to the soul. A soft brush to his lips, all the sweetness he brings to you returned.

Then, you pull away slowly, almost in confusion. Did you just do that?

You’re horrified. What did you just do without a single thought behind your action?

A gentle chuckle brings you out of your momentary horror.

“So what, you’re a paint brush kisser now?” He chuckles softly, his thumb gently brushing against your lower lip.

You take in his expression - flushed cheeks, a soft smile, eyes full of a softness you've never imagined they could have.

"Yes,” You agree, your mouth stretching widely from the excitement and happiness you can’t hold back, “ l proudly am.”

He pulls you closer and kisses you deeply, again and again and again until you're both out of breath. You both stay in that moment, feelings that lay hidden for years finally spilling out, until you're completely engulfed by the rain.

note part 2: I have a tendency to be over-detailed about boring/fluff details, so I tried to do that less here. First one shot in a while !! I hope the flow is still okay…I also couldn't decide how to do the ending, so l hope this works?

Also wow I can’t stop writing hurt/comfort and Gojo being an ass! I have another story drafted that’s also Gojo x reader and hurt/comfort as well…

Here’s a hint about that one: 🌸🩸

If you’re looking for more hurt/comfort, here’s my gojo hurt/comfort series: here (more action-y than this though)

Thanks for reading !! :)

#gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru is a little shit #jjk #ieiri shoko #gojo fanfic #yuji itadori #gojo satoru is emotionally constipated #gojo x reader #gender neutral mc #gojo satoru x you

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beeissimping · 3 months

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ARGENTHILL HCS!!!

this totally hasn't been rotting in my head for weeks now wdym.

-Boothill can't feel anything anywhere except his face, Argenti is fully aware of that and makes sure to always give Boothill kisses all over his face and touch his face. stuff like that.

-Whenever Argenti feels under the weather, Boothill always lets him play with his hair. Argenti often braids it, the repeated motion helps him feel calm but every now and again Argenti will try some weird hairstyle he saw on the internet, the result isn't always perfect but Boothill make sure to keep his hair like that until it falls apart or gets really tangled.

-Boothill also sometimes falls asleep while Argenti plays with his hair. when that happens, Argenti will take some photos of the cowboy and show it to him when he wakes up while claiming how "cute" and "calm" the other looks while he's sleeping.

-Boothill can't shower. his body is water resistant, to water proof and because of that he can't really be in a shower for too long or wash his hair properly. because of that, Argenti has started taking long baths, during those baths, Boothill usually sits on the floor next to the bathtub with his head tilted backwards so Argenti can wash his hair.

-Whenever Argenti washed Boothill's hair, he makes sure to use things that will not only keep his hair clean and silky, but also will smell the most like him and act as a reminder that Argenti is always by Boothill's side.

-They're both yappers. they can talk with each other for hours and never get bored or run out of things to talk about.

-Argenti love cuddles, whether it be a little snuggle on the couch or cuddling each other to sleep, Argenti will take any opportunity to get close and lay his head on his partner.

-When they cuddle at night, Boothill enjoys being hugged by Argenti and having his head close to his chest. that way, he doesn't feel like his hard, metal body is bothering Argenti . He also likes being able to hear Argenti's heartbeat and breathing, a reminder that he's alive and will continue to live as long as Boothill is by his side.

-In the rare occasion where Boothill gets to hug Argenti as they cuddle, Boothill loves how Argenti's hair tickles his face.

-Argenti is not a morning person at all. when he wakes up his hair is extremely messy and is oddly very curly and it takes him a while to brush it. sometimes when he's too tired or just has a rough morning, Boothill offers to do it for him, although when he brushes Argenti's hair it takes wayyyyy longer because he is trying his best not to get any of Argenti's hair strands stuck in his finger joints or accidently rip some hair out.

-(inspired by @kandavers check out their stuff, super cool) Boothill has really bad facial recognition. usually when he's out and about he'll easily be able to recognize Argenti, but when Argenti wakes up with his hair all ruffled and his face all puffy and tired from sleep, he has to double check that he didn't accidently fall asleep next to a stranger.

this was way longer then I expected and took wayy to long to type out.

(hey! psst... there's some more NSFW hcs under the cut, nothing too spicy but just stuff that some people may not want to see)

-They're both switches, no matter who's on top, they always focus on making the other one feel great before taking into account their own pleasure. (don't ask me how Boothill's d!ck works, it just does)

-Argenti bruises really easily. because of that, whenever Boothill has the chance he bites of sucks at Argenti's skin, he doesn't go to hard though because he knows that even a gentle nibble would leave a mark for a while.

-When Boothill is on the bottom, he makes sure to claw at Argenti's back real good, afterwards, he soothes the pain with the cold metal touch of his fingers and body (big spoon Boothill)

-it can vibrate. you know what I mean.

-aftercare is extremely important to Boothill. he wants to make sure that Argenti is not only feeling good during it, but after it too. he wants to make sure he didn't hurt him too much and take care of every little mark that he left on Argenti.

-If it didn't sound so fudging stupid, Boothill would talk dirty to Argenti all the time. whenever he tries (y'know getting into the moment and forgetting about his synesthesia beacon) it earns them both a good laugh.

-Argenti's a beast in bed. Boothill was shocked when Argenti took the lead the first time, and he said things that made Boothill blush (and a bit hard) just by thinking about them.

-hair pulling. I will not elaborate

#this is way longer than I thought it'll be #can you tell they're rotting in my brain?#can you tell how sick they make me?#im so normal about them idk what you mean #argenthill #argenti x boothill #guns n roses hsr #hsr argenti #hsr boothill #honkai star rail #bootgenti #argenthill hcs #headcanon #my headcanons #I LOVE THEM SM #IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS SHIP #TOTALLY

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alexiaput3llas · 9 months

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Game of Love/ Alexia Putellas x Reader

Warnings: Nothing but fluff. Maybe one swear word

Author: So this is my first time writing, because I always wanted to try it and I have to say I´m a vey slow writer but it is a lot of fun. Also english is not my first language anyways enjoy (-;

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You barely get nervous, but here you are. You're about to head out to the pitch. It is the Champions League final 2024, and Barcelona is facing none other than the mighty Lyon. But this Barcelona is different from the ones that lost to Lyon before. This Barcelona is determined to win.

You get pulled out of your thoughts by a familiar hand on your shoulder. You recognize that touch among billions, and her scent will forever be your favorite. Alexia and you have been dating for four years.

You signed to Barcelona 6 Years ago and Alexia and you immediately clicked. You became friends with her on instant and after some time you started to devolve a small huge crush on her. What you didn’t realize that she felt the same, but after a night out with the team to celebrate your Copa de la Reina victory, where everyone, including Alexia, drank a bit too much, things between you and her got really heated and after some shameless flirting on both sides, grinding on each other on the dance floor and some more drinks, you found yourself the next morning in an unfamiliar hotel room with brown hair sprawled everywhere. You couldn´t help but admire her and hoped that also for her this was not only a one night stand. So after she woke up, you both got to talk and finally admitted your feelings for each other.

And here you are now, facing your lover, who only for you breaks her serious game face, which, in your opinion, is one of the most attractive things in the world, into an encouraging smile. "Are you ready, mi amor?" Alexia, of course, notices your nervous state. "You don't have to be nervous, okay? We are a different team now, and you have the season of your life." It is true; you have the season of your life and have already won the league. "Thanks, baby, I really needed that." She nods, gives you a quick kiss on the forehead, on your nose, your right cheek, your left cheek, and finally, your lips.

You can't help the butterflies that erupt in your stomach, and you smile into the kiss. "Break it up, lovebirds, will ya!" Mapi chuckles behind you. You break away from Alexia's soft lips, giggle, and hug your girlfriend. "I love you," you mumble in her neck. "And I love you more." She steps out of your embrace and kisses the top of your head. Just about when you wanted to protest that you love her more, she shuts you up with one final kiss to your lips and eventually takes her spot to lead out the team.

The game couldn't start any worse. In the third minute of the game, Ada Hegerberg scored a beauty, leaving Cata Coll no chance. In the 20th minute, it was 2:0 Lyon, thanks to Van de Donk. Only 5 minutes afterward, Ada Hegerberg scored her second goal of the evening, and it was 3:0. You immediately got flashbacks to Turin 2 years ago, but you had to shake these thoughts out of your head. Lyon presses high, and Barcelona was lucky not to concede any more goals. The ref blew the halftime whistle, and both teams headed to the changing rooms.

Everyone's heads hang low. I sit at my cubby talking with Aitana about strategies when I feel a presence next to me. It was Alexia, who immediately joined our conversation to outline the game. She placed one hand on my thigh and gave it a few encouraging squeezes. Jonathan came in: “Chicas, nothing is lost yet. We all know what we're capable of, and if anyone can turn the game around, it's Barca. Vamos!”. "VAMOS!" Everyone in the changing room knew that this game was not over, and with new hope and confidence, we headed out to the pitch to start the second half.

And with confidence, we played. We started the second half way better, and after only ten minutes, after an amazing pass from Alexia, Aitana could find the back of the net. And that was all we needed.

A corner kick, Mariona made it 3:2.

Alexia passed the ball to you, and you began to run down the field, suddenly having a lot of open space. Just as you were about to shoot, you felt some cleats colliding with your ankle, making you stumble to the ground in pain. Your ankle throbbed, and not long after, the medics arrived.

At the same time, Alexia shoved Ada, who made the tackle. "You could've hurt her. That has to be a fucking card!" Ada shoved Alexia back and growled, "I didn't fucking touch her. She fell to the ground because of nothing." Just as Alexia was about to respond, with what would have definitely been a hard push, Mapi grabbed her. "Ale, calm down. Let her go! Y/N needs you more. She isn't worth it." With one last angry glare at Ada, Alexia made its way to you. "Mi amor, are you okay?" "Peachy," you responded. "Is it bad?" Alexia mumbled to the physios. "No, it's alright. She's alright to continue to play."

The tackle was rewarded with a free kick, which Alexia easily slotted into the top left corner. You ran to her, and all gathered in a big hug. "Freaking yes, Baby. What a goal!" You gave her a secret kiss on her neck.

With now only 5 more minutes left on the clock, everything hurt. But you couldn't just give up. You sprinted to recover a ball and sent it to Patri, who dribbled around one Lyon Player and passed it back to you. And you did what you can do best. Shoot. You just took the shot. And…

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" Everyone was screaming from the top of their lungs. Your shot probably won Barca the Champions League. With only a few minutes left, Barcelona did everything they could to defend their lead, and that was what you did. Throwing in every ball, running even though it hurt.

The whistle blew. Barcelona had done it. You are the champions of Europe once again. You sank to your knees, overwhelmed with emotions. You soon locked eyes with those sparkling hazel eyes, and a beaming smile made its way across your face, as does it with Alexia. You made your way over to her and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm so proud of, Ale," you mumbled into her neck. "And I'm so unbelievably proud of you, mi amor. That goal was a beauty." You chuckled. "It still feels surreal. I mean, we won it now for the third time, but I never get tired of it." You looked up at her, and the desire to just kiss her grew inside of you. The way her eyes sparkled, her teeth-showing smile, and a look of adoration towards you only intensifies it.

Without hesitation, you fulfill your desire and press your lips against Alexia's. The taste of victory is sweeter than any championship, and in that moment, the world disappears around you. The cheers from the stadium, the flashing cameras, and the ecstatic teammates fade into the background, leaving only you and Alexia, lost in the celebration of your shared triumph.

Breaking the kiss, you rest your forehead against hers, breathing in sync as the magnitude of the moment sinks in. The elation, the relief, and the sheer joy are palpable, and you can't help but grin. "We did it," you whisper, more to yourself than to Alexia, as if saying it out loud would make the reality even more concrete.

"We did," she replies, her voice filled with a mix of happiness and disbelief. "I knew you'd make a difference, but that last goal..." She trails off, shaking her head in amazement.

The team gathers around, enveloping both of you in a collective embrace. Laughter, cheers, and the occasional tear of happiness mingle as you bask in the glory of the victory. Champagne bottles pop open, and the sparkling liquid showers everyone, marking the end of a long and challenging journey.

Amidst the jubilation, you steal a moment alone with Alexia. Hand in hand, you slip away from the chaos and find a quiet corner of the stadium. The echo of cheers becomes a distant hum as you lean against a railing, gazing out at the pitch where the triumph unfolded. She pushed you gently against the wall and kissed you softly, with so much love. After a few minutes, you broke apart and rested your foreheads together.

"It's incredible, isn't it?" Alexia murmurs, her eyes reflecting the shimmering lights of the stadium. "All those years of hard work, the setbacks, the victories, and now... this." She gestures to the field below, still alive with the energy of the recently concluded match.

You nod, a profound sense of accomplishment settling in your chest. "And to think it all started with that Copa de la Reina celebration."

Alexia chuckles, her hand finding yours. "A night we'll never forget."

And with that, you join your teammates again for the celebrations.

You knew that whatever will happen on the pitch, you would always have a safe place off the pitch.

Alexia

#alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #alexia putellas #alexia putellas imagine #woso community #woso fanfics #woso one shot

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mikesbasementbeets · 1 year

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ok. look at these.

look. that's the same look. right?

let's take a closer look. to do that, i'm gonna have to zoom in a bit on the first one. because, as you can immediately see, the shots are slightly different. the first is a little farther away, showing both mike and el, walking next to each other, whereas the second is much more intimate, a closeup on mike's expression as he looks at will's face in the foreground. a minor but telling difference about the levels of emotional intimacy in each scene.

so, moving past that first element of contrast, let's look at each shot in full, because in both of these scenes, mike goes on a bit of a face journey before he gets to that final smiling expression, seen above.

personally, i think studying actors' body language and micro-expressions is inconclusive at best, but i won't deny that these look similar. however, it's pretty clear to me that they aren't the same.

toward el, i see confusion, intrigue, maybe pleasant surprise, followed by a glance down (to emotionally process and/or watch his step), and then a nervous but friendly smile.

toward will, i see awe, relief, and overwhelming affection, followed by a shy glance down and a slight schooling of his slack jawed expression into a warm smile.

but, again, that's just my interpretation, and i can't say with any certainty what the intention of all of finn's micro-expressions are. but from my perspective, even a surface level viewing of these two expressions depicts a very different emotional experience. however: there's no denying the connection between these two scenes. they clearly mirror each other, just like a lot of things about mike's relationships with el and will mirror each other. i don't think that's an accident.

whatever you think his sexuality is, mike is undeniably in a romantic narrative with el. beginning in season one episode three, when the concept of their romantic relationship is introduced, the narrative arc mike and el share is heavily focused on that relationship. the first scene above actually happens in that same episode (s1e3), not coincidentally almost directly afterward. and the former scene, with mike, lucas, and dustin behind the baseball field, provides very interesting context for several reasons:

first: bear with me, because we're going back to look at the context behind this context. this is only episode three of the show, but already there's a lot going on, both in text and subtext.

and since we have the entirety of their relationship so far presented to us on screen, when lucas accuses mike of looking at el romantically, we're easily able to go back and figure out where he got that impression: we can examine every time lucas has seen mike look at el at all.

the first night, after finding el in the woods instead of will, and while insisting that the next day she'd be gone and they could focus on will again, mike's behavior is directly reminiscent of benny's. taking el in, and providing her with shelter, food, and clothing.

the next day, after learning that she's in danger and changing his mind about pawning her off on his mother, mike infers that she might know something about will. when lucas arrives, he exclaims that she recognized him and knew he was missing.

later, when lucas tells her that will is their friend, she asks what that means and mike explains. a friend...

and then she displays that she might really be able to help them find will. and mike looks at her like this:

each and every one of these interactions is directly related to will. but lucas, through the omnipresent lens of heteronormativity that surrounds boys' interactions with girls (especially a group of boys who have no experience with girls... more on that in a bit), only seems to consider the fact that mike's behavior, which is undeniably about will, is being directed at el.

throughout season one (and beyond, in more subtle ways), will and el are repeatedly connected to each other through the trope of mistaken identity. will is abducted on the same night (and due to the same series of events) that el escapes the lab. hopper, in his investigation into will's disappearance, keeps running into clues about el. and mike, lucas, and dustin, sneaking out in episode one to search for will, find el instead.

later in the season, hopper eventually realizes the truth of his own more overt mistaken identity arc: while he was under the assumption that he'd been following will's trail, he'd actually been following el's. interestingly, the realization is triggered by one specific distinguishing difference, which tells him beyond a doubt that he's been looking for two different kids: their art.

though much more subtle (aka hidden in the subtext), mike's arc with his feelings about will and el follows a very similar pattern. the main difference, though, is that in season one, the swapping of places is eventually reversed but never acknowledged as such, and mike ends season one with el now missing and will back in his life, but a lingering sense of something yet unresolved.

second: (i'm not going to deep dive into this one here, because it's a whole analysis in and of itself, but i need to mention it because it is relevant) this scene introduces the recurring motif of superheroes being directly connected to mike's feelings for el, which is an association we see follow them all the way into season four and become a defining metaphor for their incompatibility.

third: lucas is the character who first introduces mike's romantic feelings for el into the narrative. and instead of giving any indication that lucas' interpretation is correct, mike's reaction is... difficult to read. his response is immediately defensive, both verbally ("what are you talking about?" "shut up, lucas,") and physically (leaning away and shielding himself when lucas hugs him). we can infer from the original character descriptions why mike might be defensive about this subject:

obviously, this description is only a vague impression of what Mike Wheeler became, but it's clear that the core elements of his character outlined here did come to fruition on screen. here, mike's insecurity is linked both to the bullying he undergoes, and to his inexperience/ineptitude with girls. and it's presented as key to his character motivation (the original concept of his character arc put forth here is very straightforward: at the start, mike has insecurity centered around bullying and is romantically inexperienced. by the end, mike has courage against monsters and romantic experience.)

in any case, this scene is the first hint of this aspect of mike's character in the show itself (the earlier scene of bullying in the show focusing on mike consoling dustin over what he’s being bullied for (“i think it's kinda cool. it’s like you have superpowers or something!”)... see my last point here… mike holds the idea of superpowers in high regard, and they are consistently connected with his feelings about el. something about the mistaken identity through-line feels apt here: mike mistakes his feelings of admiration for el as feelings of romance.) in this scene, mike is confronted with both romance (in direct relation to himself for the first time in the show) and bullying.

but due to the way this is shot, it's impossible to get a read on what mike is truly feeling. it reminds me a lot of another scene, actually...

in both of these scenes, mike's genuine emotional reaction is hidden from us. in the first, lucas forcibly hugs him, teasing him about how much he "loves" el, and in effect introducing the idea of el as a romantic prospect to mike. in the second, el hugs mike tightly, her hand still around his neck from their kiss and his arm trapped in between them, similar to the way he shields himself from lucas. we're then shown that he's signed the card on the flowers squished between them "from, mike." hm. so... not love, as lucas suggests.

we come to learn over the course of season four that this is something mike is actively struggling with: his inability to "love" el in the way that she wants, expects, and deserves. this scene, introducing that season-long arc, conceals mike's true emotional state and motivations from us, again, mirroring the first introduction to their entire romantic plot line way back in season one.

(an aside: lucas' "if you love her so much, [then] why don't you marry her?" aka the inciting event of their romantic arc, is a based on a conditional statement with the hypothesis that mike loves el. as mr. clarke might posit (in, say, season one, episode one): what's the difference between an experiment and other forms of science investigation? ...well, an experiment is a controlled test of two or more variables against a hypothesis. does that remind you of anything happening in mike's romantic narrative? something about...... [murray voice] experimenting sexually?)

anyway. then, after extracting himself from el's embrace, mike finally drops his bag(gage) and opens his now empty arms to will, before preemptively cutting himself short with a punch to the shoulder.

...did someone say internalized homophobia?

and then immediately upon being introduced to argyle, mike is called out for his presentation here not being genuine. ("it's a shitty knock-off,"/"i really thought it was ocean pacific...") we're being told that something about mike's performance is not what it seems (and may even be a case of one thing being mistaken for something else).

and speaking of homophobia...

fourth (and finally): this scene, of lucas' teasing mike about his "love" for el, which i'll remind you again is tied directly to lucas mistaking mike's behavior regarding will as being solely about el, is quickly interrupted by an onslaught of homophobia, during which mike is specifically targeted (read: tripped) by the bullies.

the juxtaposition is immediate and obvious: mike's friends lovingly teasing him, even embracing him, over a crush on a girl vs. bullies maliciously taunting them about will being killed for being queer and then physically harming mike.

(there's also something to be said about the later scene in which these bullies force mike to drop his bike in the woods and chase him to the edge of the quarry, mirroring exactly how the cops assume will must have died... and, to be clear, i'm not saying that mike himself is being bullied for being queer in the way will was. no, mike's queerness is invisible to those around him in a way that will's isn't, so his relationship with it and the ways it affects him are hidden in subtext.)

which brings us directly to the following scene in the woods. el asks about mike's injury (sustained from the aforementioned bullying, thereby linking these two scenes even more concretely) and with a little prodding ("friends don't lie"), he opens up to her about what happened, and about being bullied at school. she listens, tells him she understands (this also follows her recent flashback of brenner's abuse in the lab), and they share a "cool," "cool," and a smile.

so... let's quickly jump over from here to the van scene with will. something similar, yet notably different, is happening in this scene, leading up to that infamous smile at the end. mike is sharing his insecurities with will now, but instead of will prodding him to open up, mike, prompted only by will's "she's gonna be okay," begins rambling so much about his insecurities (while speaking in superhero metaphors) that he eventually cuts himself off, saying it's "stupid." instead of letting him brush it off, will guesses exactly what mike is afraid of: "you're scared of losing her." he gives him The Painting (a symbol of his love for mike) and a long speech about feeling lost and different, while insisting upon mike's value (you're the heart, leading us, inspiring us, etc). and then they share a "yeah?" "yeah," and a smile.

so we can see the similarity in the way the shots are set up, the progression of the conversations, and mike's visible reactions. but we can also see distinct differences, all of which together inform a significant difference in emotional weight between these two scenes.

while mike's conversation in the woods with el takes place in the third episode of season one, at which point mike has known her for less than 48 hours, the van scene is in the second to last episode of season four, and is the fourth of five heart-to-hearts mike and will have this season alone (and following three previous seasons and beyond that years of close friendship). it is also arguably the climax of their shared arc this season. on the other hand, mike and el's season one moment is part of the introduction to their storyline, and the introduction to their romantic arc. in this moment in the woods, mike is looking at el romantically (did you think i was gonna argue that he isn't? because no, he definitely is). in fact, this is the beginning of mike's entire romantic arc, which sets out to address the foundational insecurity that is key to his character. we, as an audience, right alongside mike, have just been told (by lucas) that mike has romantic feelings for el. and then we are presented with this scene. we are supposed to view this as romantic. because mike is starting to view it as romantic.

had stranger things been one season long, then the climax of their romantic arc would have been the kiss they share in the cafeteria, followed by the denouement of el's symbolic death (the gay implications of which i could write another whole essay on...). but the end of season one was not the resolution of mike's full romantic arc. by the nature of the five act structure (which is what stranger things has, being five seasons), the entirety of season one serves as exposition for our full narrative. which means, in effect, that the entire arc of mike and el's season one relationship is there to serve as groundwork, a foundation for mike's complete five season arc. season one, starting from before he even meets el, all the way through to when he eventually kisses her and then loses her, is only act one of that arc. the first act of five act structure is when the driving conflict is presented. so in the context of the entire show, for us as the viewer, mike's narrative arc surrounding the romantic aspect of his insecurity begins with his season one "romance" with el.

and we know that this insecurity is an element of the full five-act narrative, rather than being presented and wrapped in the course of the mini "self contained" narrative of season one, because we can see plainly, three seasons later, particularly during mike's heart-to-hearts with will, that this insecurity has not yet been resolved. we know this, on a basic level, from having watched mike and el's relationship struggles progress, but it is still explicitly laid out for us in season four. and will is consistently the only person who genuinely hears mike out, encourages him to open up, and addresses his insecurities, instead of brushing him off, like most other people in his life (including will at some points) have done. will understands him in a way el only claimed to in season one.

looking back to the character outline: mike has now "kiss[ed] a girl" and even "had a girlfriend" and still hasn't resolved his insecurities even remotely. in fact, after the first season arc wraps up, this romantic relationship becomes the main source of that insecurity. his difficulty navigating a real romantic relationship with el is the basis of their arc in season three. and by season four, mike is consciously struggling with being unable to tell el that he loves her. despite will's reassurances that things will be okay (which stack onto lucas' constant relationship advice in season three), mike keeps circling back around to it. because he can't move forward on the path he is on.

he has reached a point of no return, like a “fight you can’t come back from.” he is unable to find the security he is searching for in his romantic relationship with el... and this is where we arrive back at the van scene with will.

if the scene in the woods marks the beginning of the introduction of mike's romantic arc, then the scene in the van marks the beginning of the conclusion of mike's romantic arc. if the introduction of his romantic arc (season one) presents his insecurity, then the natural conclusion of that arc (season five) is security. throughout season four, mike lays out for will the insecurity that his relationship with el still brings him. he is unable to find that security with el, and, in the van scene, finds it with will instead.

or, should i say, begins the journey to finding it. because, especially after the lie that brings them into that moment, and then traumatic pizza dough freezer incident, we're still at the beginning of the conclusion. there's still a lot to resolve, but season four (alongside mike, who now understands what he's been going through) finally began moving the subtext of mike's arc into the actual text. and this moment indicates that season five will take that next step to fully, textually, actualizing it.

so, getting back to the parallel we're looking at here: each of these scenes is a catalyzing moment in mike's romantic arc. in season one, when lucas suggests that mike has a crush on el, and then what follows is a conversation with el where she is (to quote lucas) "not grossed out" by him, he actively begins his journey toward resolving this character motivating insecurity. he looks at el and he sees the possibility of romance.

and just look at him. he looks excited. hopeful. a little nervous. but... i want to remind you again: mike has known el for less than 48 hours at this point. this is the first conversation they've had in which they've related to each other as equals. for their entire relationship before this and afterward, outside of their romantic interactions (and also. often. disturbingly. concurrent with their romantic interactions...), mike's role has been as el's protector, a makeshift father figure, the elliot to her E.T. here, though, el tells mike that she understands him.

in season one, mike is twelve years old (read: pre-pubescent). he has no personal understanding of or experience with romance. dustin starts to comment in s1e2, "you're letting a girl...?" and ted later scoffs "our son with a girl?" and outside of the queer coding, what we can take from both of these (which draw back to the original character description) is that mike has no experience with girls whatsoever. (outside of, you know. family. but that's not what this post is about.)

and again, this scene happens almost directly after lucas first introduces the idea of romance between them, both to the narrative, and to mike himself, who, very significantly, up until this point, has shown no romantic interest in el. the sequence of these events is not a coincidence. 1. lucas assumes mike has romantic feelings for el. 2. el and mike have a moment of personal connection and understanding 3. mike "boys only" wheeler puts these two together and assumes the connection between them must be romance. but the expression on mike's face here isn't a representation of already existing romantic feelings. there's no basis for those. again, this moment represents for mike the potential for romance.

which... makes his expression in the van scene hit even harder. because unlike el, will isn't a stranger he barely knows, but rather his best friend of ten years. and it isn't lucas telling mike how mike feels. it's will professing his own feelings about mike, in direct response to mike's self-professed insecurities. (ding ding ding, are your alarm bells going off?) mike's expression at the end of this scene, if we're viewing it as a reprise of his season one expression, is a representation of hope for his romantic future. but this time, heading into the resolution of mike's romantic arc, with all of the knowledge and context we (and mike) have gained over the course of the past four seasons, it's directed at will.

ok. so. with the basic connection between these two scenes established, i'm gonna move a little bit sideways here. at the end of their romantic arc in season one, el disappears from mike's life and will reappears in it, effectively swapping their places (remember that we've been dealing with the mistaken identity trope between these two), and leaving the question of mike's romantic security glaringly unresolved.

and we know why - this is a five act narrative we're watching - but just within the context of the season one arc... the climactic moment of mike finally asking the girl to be his sister kissing the girl was preceded by her locating will in the upside down (leading to his rescue) and followed by a resolution in which she disappeared... and will took her place. at the end of the season, mike is left in the same place he started: playing games in his basement with will, his first attempt to resolve his arc of romantic insecurity, with el, ultimately ending in tragedy.

after season one, this arc picks up again, but this time will is the one present in mike's life. and mike's behaviors toward el in season one, during which they were undergoing a romantic story arc, begin showing up again in his behavior toward will. but unlike with el, mike's particular (read: romantic) behavior toward will happens without outside intervention, and in fact, often in spite of outside intervention. now, this isn't to say that all of mike's behavior with el was a result of others' influence. when el reveals to mike that she is on the run from "bad people," mike is immediately protective and caring toward her. however, as i've already explained, this caring behavior (which, again, we know right off the bat is not romantic because it directly mirrors the way both benny and hopper care for her) doesn't turn into romantic behavior until lucas introduces that idea.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, right from episode one of season one, mike's behavior toward will is fully self motivated, even in the face of opposition.

and as we move through season one and beyond, we can see that mike continues to rely on constant guidance in the way he cares about el (particularly and most consistently from lucas).

stranger things is, at it's horror filled core, a coming of age tale. like many of our other characters, mike's full character arc, romantic and otherwise, is about self-actualization. from the very conception of the show, his insecurity is presented as a central character flaw to overcome, while also being directly linked with his romantic fulfillment. the overcoming of this fatal flaw, the resolution of his romantic arc, and his final achievement of self-actualization are all inextricably intertwined.

the reprisal of this specific expression of romantic hope as we enter the end of mike's romantic arc is not an indication that mike is in the same place emotionally at the end of season four as he was at the beginning of season one, just with a different person now. instead, it is an indication of his romantic arc coming full circle. mike began in a position of hope for his romantic future with el, only to have the actualization of that hope (their romantic relationship) gradually degrade his romantic fulfillment and self-esteem. the longer mike and el are together, and the more serious their romantic relationship becomes, the worse mike's insecurities become. this is, i would argue, directly related to the fact that mike's pursuit of a romantic relationship with el is not due to his own genuine desire, but instead a combined result of heteronormativity (lucas assuming mike's feelings for el to be romantic), compulsive heterosexuality (mike's subsequent assumption that his feelings for el must be romantic), forced conformity (mike's attempt to resolve his insecurities firmly within these heteronormative boundaries, under the assumption that a rejection of these boundaries is unacceptable), and the trope of mistaken identity that has been following will and el since season one.

and of course i don't know with any concrete certainty what season five will contain, but based on the narrative so far, and optimistically expecting a satisfying resolution to his character arc, the actualization of his romantic hope regarding will is going to lead to true romantic fulfillment and coincide with his self-actualization (a big part of which is coming to terms with his sexuality).

now, i'm not going to conclude this whole analysis by saying, "and that's why mike is gay!" because while i think this all is a good indication of that, based on all of the context and my impression that this narrative is being presented in a way that focuses on the subtext and deeper symbolism of each of these relationships rather than being a case of specifically el vs. will, you might still have a different interpretation than me. that's fine. however, i am going to end by insisting (me when i argue with the wall), based on everything i've laid out, that this parallel and others like it (ie parallels between byler & miIeven's romantic arcs) are not evidence of mike's feelings, specifically whether they are genuinely romantic or not. this parallel serves as a narrative device in his romantic character arc... the conclusion of which is mike realizing and coming to terms with the fact that he is actually in love with will, and not el.

just to be very clear, i'm not saying these parallels alone are proof against mike being bisexual, but i am saying that they are not evidence in support of his being bisexual. again: they do not indicate that mike is romantically attracted to el. what they indicate is that will and el are foils in mike's romantic arc.

before i finish, i want to address a couple misconceptions:

1. the fact that mike actively and willingly participates in a romantic relationship with a woman means he can’t be gay. this is straight up homophobia. gold star bullshit. no.

2. mike and el being presented in a romantic light means that they have genuine romantic feelings for each other. this is a misconception of the way narrative tools are used to tell a story. going right back to my first point: it is an irrefutable fact that many gay people have romantic relationships with the people of different genders (read “the opposite sex”) before they come out/realize their true sexuality. it is also a fact that many of these gay people fully believe their feelings to be genuinely romantic before realizing that they are not. as i've already gone over, mike is twelve years old when his romantic arc begins. on the surface, his relationship with el is presented as romantic. he participates in (and even initiates) romantic behaviors because he believes that his feelings for el are romantic. in seasons one and two, mike is one of our main POV characters. we can see a romantic tilt to the way some of their scenes are shot because, to mike, while they are happening, they are romantic (keeping in mind what i said before about mike having no experience and therefore no personal knowledge informing his perspective, AND keeping in mind that many of these on-the-surface "romantic" scenes are also consistently subtextually linked (read: paralleled) to familial relationships for both of them... and i haven't even touched the cultural context surrounding homosexuality in 80's. there's so much nuance informing the way this story is being told). and we, as the audience, are supposed to read them as romantic on first viewing, because otherwise the season five plot twist, revealing the truth of mike's feelings, would not work.

it is not a coincidence that the active degradation of their romantic relationship (outside of all of the other context, parallels, symbolism, family coding, etc, that are there to hint along the way that things are not as they might seem) begins full force in season three, at the exact point when the two actually enter a real relationship for the first time, and also when our characters are entering puberty, the time during which a person's sexuality (in a general sense, but also in regard to sexual orientation) begins to fully emerge. after his season one arc with el, mike underwent another season-long romantic arc: this time, with will. it's more subtle, because (i believe) mike doesn't realize yet that it's romantic, but it's there. then at the end of season two, mike makes a choice: he encourages will to dance with a girl and he dances with el, re-writing their tragic ending from season one, but now leaving his romantic arc with will frustratingly unresolved, again mirroring the sense of unresolution from season one: mike has swapped out the end of each romantic arc with the wrong love interest.

and then in season three, now having had the experience of both romantic arcs, and now, for the first time, with both will and el right there beside him, all we can see anymore is the overt contrast between the two relationships, depicted most blatantly through the same type of visual and narrative "parallel" we've been looking at here.

but at the end of this season, instead of making a choice, mike's choice is made for him. he has a romantic moment with will, and then el kisses him, confusing the resolution of these two romantic arcs once again.

mike's season four arc closely mirrors his season one arc (searching for one love interest with the other by his side, mistaken identity trope abound), but with important distinctions: 1. mike is a little older, a lot more experienced, and has a better understanding of both the context of romantic relationships and the scope of his feelings for both el and will. and 2. mike's only real guidance in season four comes from will, and he doesn't simply listen and act based on will's advice, as he did with lucas' in seasons 1&3. now, he fully engages with will's input, pushing back against it when he doesn't agree, and accepting it when he can acknowledge its truth (up until, of course, our fourth (and hopefully final) tragic, incorrectly resolved ending). mike is finally taking control of his romantic narrative in a way he hasn't previously, and the direction it's heading in now is toward security, self-actualization, and will.

so the point of all of this is: nothing is as simple or straightforward as it may seem on the surface. the narrative has always been deeply complex and layered with subtext and symbolism. and most of all, when interpreting the meaning of anything presented directly to us on screen, context matters.

also uh. yeah, mike gay

#byler #mikesbasementbeets posts #parallels are there to be noticed. but that should be where the analysis begins. not where it ends.#this got kinda long i just wanted to be really thorough bc this kind of 'parallel = 1:1 similarity' thinking is way too prevalent #this is less an analysis and more me explaining the plot of the show but. sometimes it feels like it needs to be explained lmao #yes i lied about the ending but when you eliminate the only claim negating that conclusion....#that's. i mean that's the conclusion.#(btw the difference between comparative and experimental investigations is that in an experiment one of the variables is fixed.#something to think about)#mike wheeler

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joanofexys · 2 months

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i don't want to start a war or anything but i know nothing about cults. so i'm really curious if you have any thoughts on former ravens being in a long-term relationship with other former ravens once they're out of that environment. like maybe it's realistic or maybe it wouldn't cause as many problems as one would assume...

OKAY SO

this is actually such a good question and something i’m very excited to talk about. yet another disclaimer that my experience is unique, as are all cult survivors, and my opinion isn’t like an objective fact just observations from being a cult a survivor. since i haven’t made a cult post in awhile

but cult survivors tend to flock to each other. without even realizing most of it the time. as a cult survivor the majority of my friends are fellow cult survivors. some of them i grew up with and others i befriended without even knowing they were in a cult. you’ll hear a lot of queer people or neurodivergent people talk about their friend groups being predominantly queer or ND just by complete coincidence and i’d say a very similar thing happens to cult survivors. and of course a lot of us also seek each other out as support systems for a sense of community and understanding and shared experiences.

and there are couples who are in cults together and often get married while in the cults who will often deconstruct and leave together. obviously it seems like the majority of the time it’s just one person in the couple leaving the cult but i wouldn’t discount the amount of couples who leave together or say they’re a rarity.

all that to say i think it’s very likely for couples who were secretly together in the nest to stay together. especially because a lot of ravens haven’t worked through the mindset of being in a cult. that us vs them mentality.

it actually probably seems beneficial to them once they graduate. and it’s probably something that reflects well in the media too. a raven couple signing to the same team and then later publicly being a couple. the media gets to use that “power couple” sort of spin. the ravens get someone who understands and a way to still rely on the partner system. it’s a safe option.

and there’s a couple ways it can go. they feed into each other’s patterns. they cling the nest and everything they were taught. they might function fine that way but they’re not healing. they’re not unlearning anything. it could even make it worse, send them spiralling downwards. they could crash and burn. or it’s a way to slowly adjust to the outside world. they don’t drown without someone by their side. it’s a way to ease into everything with someone that understands. and maybe with that they get the time to think about everything they were put through. as they recognize what was wrong with the nest they have someone to turn to when they feel like they can’t tell anyone else. they get to work through things together. relearn healthy relationships and boundaries and how to be people again. and those things that are too heavy, too shameful, too gut wrenching to confess to anyone who didn’t go through it too can finally be said.

or there’s the option of ravens who never dated in the nest seeking each other out afterwards and dating. this is probably something messy and unhealthy for former ravens who have never tried to heal. they’d likely flock back to each other and become codependent, fall back into habits in the nest. but it also has the opportunity of being something healthy. it’s that same sense of community, of understanding.

even former ravens who have adjusted to life outside the nest, who have relearned how to be people, may not feel comfortable with dating or with being surrounded by people who just don’t understand. and i’m not saying that cult survivors can’t date non cult survivors. obviously those relationships happen and they can be fully healthy and loving with a lot of understanding and growth. they work just fine. but there might be some ravens who feel like that’s not possible for them. they’ll find people with similar experiences, other ravens, who just get it.

in general i think it’s incredibly likely that a lot of ravens tend to reconnect or stay together outside of the nest. and that has the potential to be good or bad. i don’t doubt that some of them just cut each other off entirely. some might be more causal friends than anything. but maybe they meet up for breakfast when they’re playing in the same city. they might send each other wedding invites or christmas cards. a text with a therapist’s information and a mention that they’ve been really helpful in working through things. a lot of them might be a lot closer. teams made up almost entirely of former ravens. a lot of them might be roommates. they spend a lot of time together on and off the court. a change from their obligated time spent together in the nest to actually becoming friends. ravens retiring together and following each other into the same field. coaches, journalists, commentators. eventually moving further away but staying in touch. regular phone calls and texting every day.

the ravens healing does not necessitate them cutting each other out of their lives. though that’s something that people might assume. they can continue to co-exist and even maintain relationships with each other in a healthy way if they do it right. and a lot of them might do it unhealthily anyway. it’s unlikely that ravens uninterested in healing or working through trauma will let each other go when their system relied on an unhealthy level of dependency.

#aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #the sunshine court #tsc #tfc #trk #tkm #jean moreau #kevin day #riko moriyama #thea muldani #edgar allan ravens

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myheroblogs · 8 months

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Man, the whole thing with Yoichi and Kudou parting ways is a bit more heartbreaking if you consider the fact that just moments before, Yoichi had to deal with the death of his brother.

Despite everything that he has done, despite everything that has happened, Yoichi still loved his brother. Even though his brother was cruel, he still acknowledges that AFO took care of him when there was no one else. All they had was each other.

His anger in ch 193 wasn't done out of hate, but concern for his brother. Like how a loved one would get angry when they recognize you doing something that isn't good for your well-being.

Nana and Yoichi are in the same position, both having their close relatives on the villain side, but while Tenko has the hope of being saved, AFO is far gone. And while Yoichi has long accepted this, that doesn't mean he won't be affected by the loss of his brother.

We saw Yoichi's expression when AFO gets defeated. People talk about it being a "bombastic side eye", but to me, it's more so sorrowful.

Not long afterwards, we have Yoichi talk like this:

"Don't cling to sentimentality"

"Bringing down Tomura Shigaraki is our reason for still existing"

Yoichi was silently trying to process his brother's death here. Alone. Not even Kudou knows.

And not long after the death of your only family, you're forced to say goodbye to the one person who would still be there for you after all that? The very first person who valued you as a fellow human being?

Damn, I'd break down and cry too.

On a side note, some people are unhappy that the OFA Users are often calling the shots here. But am I the only one who noticed that Yoichi's the only one who doesn't do this at all?

Yoichi's the one who interacted with Midoriya the least. He's the only OFA User who actually doesn't tell Midoriya what to do. The only times he came out to interact with him was whenever he feels like Midoriya's life could be in danger, or that time when he tried to reassure him in Ch 193.

Even when trying to cope with his brother's death, starting to give up on the whole "saving" thing, he never really came out to talk to Midoriya to try to change his mind. He's only in the OFA space the entire time with the other users.

Yoichi doesn't say anything cause he just trusts Midoriya to make the calls. (Hence his "this fight has long been passed to the successors") But he also trusts the other users, so he lets them do their thing.

He's also the one who humanises Tomura, calling him a "successor" like Midoriya, making him an equal. En later calls him out on this, saying the opposite.

Yoichi's the best OFA vestige and he deserves the entire world. Gives this man a darn break. T_T

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sebadztian · 10 months

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There's not a lot of Sebaciel content lately (Sebaciel nation where art thou?) and I'm still stuck on the subject of Sebby going nom-nom-nom on Ciel (or trying to...). So, here's yet another analysis rambling on this particular subject...

Look at how sad and disappointed the demon was that he didn't get to eat his meal :(

Long rambling under the cut!

In all seriousness though...

Was he really going to take Ciel's soul?

Yes.

At some point, he was in Ciel's head in a last ditch attempt to get his master back. He really was 90% earnest about the whole thing. But how about the 10%? I think, this is that 10%... 👇

I think that 10% was hope. Hope that his young master was still in there somewhere, hope that he'd get his young master back. After all, he'd said it himself that what he finds most amusing right now was playing Ciel's butler. And what is a butler without a master? Without Ciel, the game will be boring and the demon has no reason/desire to continue playing it.

References (beause I don't want people saying I'm pulling that theory out of thin air)...

And I think, Ciel approved it.

It was a rude awakening, I agree, but he wasn't angry at Sebastian for acting out of turn or for having almsot eaten him alive.

And I think this is what has deepened their trust in each other and moved their relationship forward.

How?

Ciel was at a very vulnerable state. He was genuinely scared of Sebastian. He wasn't himself (or maybe he was). He wasn't in a state where he could order Sebastian around.

And Sebastian has to decide on his own course of actions. He acted independently (sending a sample to the palace, asking for Sieglinde's help, agreeing to be her butler). It was just like what Tanaka has said, Sebastian was preparing for his master to come back.

Sebastian has acted in his master's best interests (although his method was questionable at best) and Ciel recognized that. This is the instance where Sebastian truly acted like a butler.

I believe that if Sebastian really 100% wanted to take Ciel's soul, he could've done it in seconds. He didn't have to give that speech about the terribly dull ending and all that. But he was trying to egg Ciel on, to taunt him, hoping that his master would raise to the challenge and take the bait because that's how they flirt play their game, by taunting and teasing each other. This is their dance. That's the master that Sebastian knows.

And Ciel did! He came through for Sebastian and for himself! He was back to be the master that Sebastian has come to know and love respect.

Afterwards, they both had a revelation. Ciel realized that his demon has truly become his butler, and Sebastian realized that he was enjoying this butler 'game' way too much and he doesn't want it to end. Or perhaps, he's even gone a step further and realized that this is no longer just a game to him (this particular theory is pulled out of thin Sebaciel air).

And that's how they both took a step closer to each other.

If Ciel hadn't taken the bait, if he had chosen to stay in that cage instead of reaching for that smug demon he called a boyfriend butler, then Sebastian would've taken his soul because then he'd know that his Bocchan was truly gone.

And I believe that he'd have a completely different expression across his face after the deed has been done.

Thank you for coming to my Sebaciel talk!

#sebaciel #sebaciel moments #sebaciel talk #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #kuroshitsuji #black butler #manga panels

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teyamsgrl · 1 year

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how sorry i am ✧ lo'ak

❗️MDNI ❗️

OKOK lo'ak is ofc our sweet baby but the idea of enemies to lovers with lo'ak just 🦋🦋🦋 / i hope you all enjoy!! just look at his lil mean face above >:(

°˖➴ warnings: fem metkayina reader, enemies to lovers, agedup!lo'ak, mean!lo'ak, sub!lo'ak, blood mention (not sex related), slight angst, slow burn??, body worship, oral f receiving, some nipple play - paskalin: honey

lo'ak being your brother's best friend was quite the shit position. ever since lo'ak and his family joined the metkayina people a year ago he has despised you, very publicly as well. anytime he saw you, he teased you, talked down to you, etc. he made you feel shitty, but here's the catch: you had an undeniable crush on him. as much as you wanted to deny the fact, you just couldn't. it was something about how you saw him with other people, observing how he really is. how he took care of his little sister and was always willing to help others out. you knew he harassed you for a specific reason; what it was you had no idea. you still acted hostile towards him to keep your true feelings covered, plus it was unfair to let him treat you like this without retaliation.

"lo'ak's staying over" you brother says as he enters your pod late in the evening, lo'ak trailing behind him. you roll your eyes, "great..", you glance up quickly to take in lo'ak's appearance. pretty. "trust me, i'm not pleased about seeing you either" lo'ak scoffs and takes a seat on your brother's cot, taking his bow off of his back. you continue cutting the fruits scattered around you on the woven mat, tossing them into a bowl afterwards. you go to slice the next one in half, accidentally nicking one of your fingers. "ouch.." you mumble, looking down to see the pearl of blood on your finger. you wipe it on a nearby rag, catching lo'ak's eyes on you. "awwww, can't handle a little cut?" he teases, pouting at you. "shut up" you mumble again, moving back to continue cutting, making sure the blood didn't get anywhere else. "can't even cut fruit properly, damn" he smirks watching your eyes narrow in anger. sometimes you wish your brother did something to defend you, but he probably just accepted that you and lo'ak hated each other and it would always be that way. you ignore his comment, "always knew you were a bit incompetent but shit, that's bad" he chuckles mockingly, causing anger to bubble up inside of you. you may secretly like him but he is a dick. you throw down the large fruit in your hand and the knife, standing up and rushing out of your pod. you had it with him, and yourself. what kept drawing you to him? and why couldn't you turn it off? you turn and run past all the other marui, feet hitting the sand as you exhale. you approach the water, about to call your ilu before you hear a voice calling you, "y/n! wait!"

you scoff as you recognize the voice right away, "just leave me alone, lo'ak" you state firmly, back facing him as he comes closer. "y/n" he places a hand on your shoulder, urging you to face him. the ecstatic feeling that ran through your body was indescribable, he had never touched you before, even when passing by. you turn to come face to face with him, your eyes gazing up into his. "i'm sorry-" he mumbles, his amber eyes blank and searching yours. "sorry? you're sorry? after a year of harassing me you're suddenly sorry? i bet my brother made you do this..." you sigh and bring your hands to your head, tugging your braids gently out of frustration. "he didn't, i swear-" you cut him off again, feelings bursting out of your mouth without a second thought. "yeah sure, lo'ak, i doubt it. what made you feel so bad today? instead of yesterday or the day before? fuck- you have never felt bad about making fun of me before, and it's so stupid that i don't just avoid you because of my... because-" you stop yourself before you go too far off the edge and are unable to turn back. "because of what?" he inquires, you have never heard his voice so gentle towards you before. "because i like you, okay?! i like you too much for my own good and i hate the fact that i do!" you scream, tears forming in your eyes as you realize what you've just admitted. you take a deep breath in, unable to release it before lo'ak's lips are on yours, kissing feverishly. you gasp and pull away, trying to figure out if that actually just happened. "don't- don't do that just to mess with me, please" he shakes his head immediately, denying your accusation. "i'm not, i'm genuinely sorry about everything i've said to you. i don't know why i did it, probably projecting my own shit but- i like you too, so much. i just want to make it up to you, if you'd even let me.." you notice how his tail is moving, softly moving left and right as if in anticipation. you nod at his words, trying to comprehend his side of things. "i'm willing to forgive you. you'll most definitely have to prove it, but i'm willing to. and willing to become more eventually… if you'd want that", a small smile pulls itself onto your lips. "thank you..." he smiles back and reaches for your hips, "let me make it up to you, show you how sorry i am, please. how much i feel for you..."

you breathe shakily as he sinks to his knees, bending to start at your ankle and place delicate kisses up your leg. your run your hand along his cheek as he moves to repeat the actions on your other leg. "you're so beautiful, so beautiful..." he whispers and stands back up, kissing along your jaw now. you sigh in delight and tilt your head to allow him to continue. he smiles against your skin and moves down your neck and the middle of your chest. "can i take it off?" he questions as his hands run behind your back to the tie of your top. you nod and shiver as he removes it, the evening air grazing your nipples, breasts perky and freckles glowing. "shit.." he breathes and kisses his way to your nipple, flicking his tongue over it once to test the waters. the whimper that leaves your mouth says enough as he sucks it into his mouth. "l-lo'ak" you stutter out as his warm mouth has your nipple encapsulated, your thighs pressing together to relieve the arousal beginning to pool.

he releases it with a pop, kissing to the other. "i just wanna worship your fucking body.. never seen someone prettier" you whine at his words as he sucks the other nipple into his mouth, tongue rolling around it and toying with it. your hands weave their way into his hair, tugging on his braids as another whine escapes your lips. he hums and unlatches again, hands lingering over your loincloth. "wanna taste.. wanna make you feel good... please", he almost whimpers the sentence out, "yes, lo'ak, yes". he unties your loincloth and helps you step out of it, moving to his knees again. he licks his lips and looks over your wet pussy, his head leaning on your stomach. "tell me what you want, please princess, i just wanna please you..." he kisses your stomach and awaits a response from you, his ragged breaths tickling your stomach.

"mouth, mouth..." you look down on him as he places one of your feet on his shoulder, giving him the perfect angle to dive in. which he does. his tongue makes it's first move against your clit, eager bud pulsing under his tongue. you moan and toss your head back, your hips fervently pushing against his tongue. he moves further, tongue delving into your tight and dripping hole. "that's good, that's so good-" you gasp and keep yourself steady by your grip on his braids. he hums into you, the vibrations bringing you even more pleasure. his mouth never falters, licking and sucking and kissing all over your pussy. he shifts away to breathe quickly, "you taste so sweet, even better than i would've thought. so beautiful, i wanna be down here forever" he whines out and moves back in, nose nudging your clit as his tongue glides around and in your hole again. he takes note of your demeanor change, breathing more heavy and hip movements more aggressive.

"you're close, baby. fuck my face, use me. just feel good... i got you" he mumbles as he brings a couple fingers to stroke your clit at a fast pace, desperate to bring you to an orgasm. your eyes roll back as you hold his braids tighter, grinding onto his tongue and into his fingers. "oh great mother- i'm- lo'ak i'm gonna-" you squeal as he frantically rubs your clit, removing his mouth so he can coax you through it. "that's it, you're so perfect, i got you, so perfect... just let go" he moans softly as your orgasm snaps in you, cum flowing out of you as his tongue retreats back into your pussy to collect what he can. your chest is heaving as your legs wobble, mind out of sorts at the fact that lo'ak who 'hated' you just hours ago confessed to you and made you cum.

he helps your leg down, holding you close as he stands back up. "there we go..." he says as you instantly hug around his waist. "thank you, lo'ak" you look up to catch his eyes which are now glowing softly. "no need to thank me, it's the least i could do. you know, to apologize and prove myself to you, all that. i will be doing that very often, if you'll let me" he holds your face in his sizable hands, his thumbs brushing your cheeks. "well, that was amazing honestly.. and yes, i want to please you sometime as well..." your one finger trails down to his waistband and plays with it. "mhmmm, but you're my first priority always, and i'm gonna start acting like it. no more mean guy..." he sighs, clearly ashamed of how he's acted this past year. "it's alright, paskalin... let's spend the day together tomorrow? i want to show you a special place" you rest your head on his heart, hearing the rapid beats. "i'd really like that" he smiles and rests his chin on your head, basking in your loving presence.

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halfagone · 11 months

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Let Gotham Be Terrifying

I've seen many different takes and versions of Gotham, but I would love to play into the fact that Gotham is the second most crime-ridden city in America. That's right- Gotham, for all its horrible cruelty, still does not compare to Blüdhaven. But that doesn't make it any less terrifying, especially to newcomers.

I know a lot of people say that Amity Parkers would be desensitized to the Rogue attacks, because of the ghosts that constantly haunt the streets. But I think they would actually be more horrified of Gotham because of the ghosts.

Because here's the thing about Danny's Rogues Gallery. For all intents and purposes, they don't actually want to hurt people. The ghosts might not be harmless, but neither are they expressly malicious.

The Box Ghost? Give him some of your leftover cardboard from when you were moving apartments, he'll appreciate them and leave you alone for a while as a thank you. If you catch him at the right time, he might even be willing to lend a helping hand. With the promise of the boxes afterwards, he doesn't do work for free after all.

Lunch Lady? You'll see her at the soup kitchens or the food banks lending a helping hand; sometimes she even gets invited to the soccer games to act as hostess and she makes the best main dishes. And her dessert? People have made remarks that they're to die for, which is more than a little insensitive but hey, still true.

Ember McLain? Phantom's made a deal with her: so long as she keeps her mind control out of her music, she can play however much she wants. They hold weekly concerts in the park, you just gotta make sure everyone scatters by the time the Fentons arrive, and don't say shit to the GIW when they come around asking, and everyone comes out of this happy.

Kitty and Johnny? Sure, their arguments always cause a ruckus, and it can be more than a little awkward to watch a couple scream at each other in public. But if you're willing to lend a kind ear to Kitty when she's upset, she's far less likely to lash out and hurt people as a result. As for Johnny, let him do a couple laps around town and he'll get his head on straight. If the Red Huntress doesn't do it for him, of course. And when they're on good terms, you'll sometimes see them walking about town, holding hands and just having fun. Sometimes they'll buy some ice cream or other treats from stores. No one really knows where they got the money, but it's legit and no one feels the need to turn them away, if they're respectful about private property.

Youngblood? He's a bit brash and immature, but sometimes you'll catch him hanging out with Phantom playing astronauts. Sometimes you'll even see him hanging out with that girl Phantom playing cowboys. He likes to play at the parks and playgrounds with the other kids his age. And yeah, sometimes he hogs the toys a little too long, but he's the best storyteller the kids on the yard have ever seen. He's a great playmate once you get the hang of it.

As for Skulker... eh, he and Phantom have their fights but honestly, it's the collateral damage that causes more problems than the ghosts themselves. The morning commute should not take this long.

Spectra got ran out of town forever ago and at this point, people can recognize her on sight. If your mental health has taken a startling downturn, contact one of the helplines and if worse comes to worst, reach out to Phantom to make sure she's not sticking her nose where no one wants her.

Desiree- watch your mouth and stop saying the word 'wish' and you're set for life. She can be petty sometimes, but again, that's why you watch your mouth.

For 7 out of the 9 cases here, the ghosts don't actually mean much harm. Other, more powerful ghosts like Vortex or Nocturn don't come around often. They might think Phantom is a little bitch, but they respect his territory. They would do the same if they were in his place. Predator acknowledging predator, as I like to say.

But that's the distinct difference. The ghosts can be bargained with, reasoned with. If you give them some other outlet, more often than not they're willing to take it and don't bother anyone first.

The Gotham Rogues on the other hand? There is no indulging the Joker or Black Mask or Scarecrow. In some cases, even when Mr. Freeze's wife is cured or he's finally let her go, he still keeps to his life of crime. What about Harvey Dent? Zsasz? Manbat? A lot of these Rogues cannot be reasoned with.

And this isn't even including the drug dealers and the muggers and the traffickers. This isn't even including the corrupt police and the even more corrupt local government. This isn't even including the likes of the Court of Owls and the rich and elite that run the show. This isn't even including the League of Assassins, who've always had a vested interest in the city.

And isn't that sad? Doesn't that say something when the living are crueler than the dead?

So give me a Danny or a Jazz or a Tucker or a Sam- any Amity Park citizen you want- that is disturbed by the thoughtless destruction and murders. Give me a Jazz that takes one look at the Arkham Asylum patients and is unnerved by their incapability to change. Give me a Danny that visits Gotham one time to lend a hand, and by the end of it, he turns to Batman and he says, "I don't know how you do it."

Because this is a family of vigilantes, who all besides one, do not have powers. They have to cover a city filled with millions of people, watch over them every night, and try to stop any possible terrible atrocities. Because even if every single member of Batman's Rogues Gallery suddenly dropped dead, Gotham has far deeper issues than just them. That is why Batman's crusade is endless. That's why it's not as simple as flicking a switch.

Gotham is terrifying. And what does it say when the Batman can put the fear of god into a city like that?

Batman is terrifying, and I think sometimes that can be a reminder to us all.

#dpxdc #dpxdc headcanon #dpxdc au #i just have a lot of feelings #about a terrifying gotham #and an even more scary batfamily #okay???#long post

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jae-bummer · 1 year

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You & Me Book Club

Request: 11 with hyunjin? "Your bias makes every excuse he can think of to hold your hand" seems so him omg

Prompt:

11) Your bias makes every excuse he can think of to hold your hand.

Pairing: Stray Kids Hyunjin x Reader

Genre: Fluff

The sun streaming through the windows of the sitting room made you feel like a sleepy cat. Sat directly in the light and warmth, you let out a soft sigh before readjusting and cuddling deeper into the couch.

"Comfy?" Hyunjin smirked, looking at you over the edge of his book.

Nodding contently, you looked back down to the novel in your own hands. It had been Hyunjin's idea to start a book club consisting of just the two of you. Changbin had attempted to join on several different occasions, but after an over dramatic argument questioning if he really could read, the topic had been dropped. Afterwards, you may have had to bake cupcakes to clear the air between the two, but to Changbin's delight, Hyunjin had not been allowed to have any. Someone had to discipline him on occasion.

This month's read (Hyunjin's pick) was Pride and Prejudice which hadn't necessarily been a surprise to you. For whatever reason, the book seemed to match Hyunjin's vibe, and he had been thoroughly enjoying it. It fulfilled the need for drama that you both subconsciously yearned for, but "in a classy way" he had said.

Flipping to the next page, you looked to the side of your book, and at your leg touching Hyunjin's. You were both sitting cross-legged, your knees jostling against each other. Narrowing your eyes, you noticed that Hyunjin was now only holding his book with his right hand, but his left hand sat palm up on the knee closest to you.

Without even having to look at him directly, you knew he was keeping an eye on you as you tried to assess what he was doing.

"Are you reading too intensely?" You tried not to laugh harder as he quickly averted his eyes from you and fixed them back on his page. "Airing out your sweaty palms?"

"First mistake," he sighed. "I don't sweat, I glisten. Secondly, we've been reading for so long that the hand in question fell asleep."

"We've been reading like fifteen minutes."

"This book is very heavy," he nodded. "And it was fifteen very intense minutes."

You made a show of lifting the novel up to your face and examining it. Hyunjin let out an exasperated sigh in response. "Can you just like...maybe squeeze my hand for a second?

"Put down your book and do it yourself," you muttered.

"And miss out on Elizabeth ghosting her own cousin? Absolutely not."

Rolling your eyes, you set your book face down on the arm of the couch and took Hyunjin's hand into both of yours. Kneading each of his fingers in turn, you ignored the small hum of satisfaction that fell from his lips.

"Sorry," he cringed. "Would you mind just like..."

Setting down his own book now, he took your right hand and laced your fingers together before setting it on his knee. "Perfect."

"I'm failing to see how this helps your sleepy hand," you muttered, lifting your brows. Looking down at your entwined hands, you couldn't help but recognize how nice it felt to be in contact like this. Your relationship with Hyunjin had always skirted the lines of inappropriate for a friendship. It was as if his love language was strictly limited to flirting, and you were conditioned to be receptive.

"If I had to explain it to you, it would be a waste of perfectly good reading time," he said, sounding genuinely proud of himself. "Just take my word for it. Don't question science."

"You can't just throw around the word "science" and expect me to-"

"Y/N," he whispered. "Reading time."

Heaving a sigh, you picked your book back up with your free hand and began reading again. After only a moment, you tried to slide your fingers from Hyunjin's.

"Whoa!" he gasped, his expression wounded. "Don't you care about my health and well being?"

"You're so dramat-"

"My hand could fall off and it would be all your fault."

"Hyunjin," you groaned, trying to pull away from his now tightened grip. "I have to turn the page."

"Use your nose," he muttered, keeping his eyes locked again on the words in front of him.

Finally freeing yourself, you huffed out a laugh. "You're the most ridiculous little man."

"No, that's Han," he hummed without missing a beat. "Have you ever stopped to consider how big Mr. Darcy's hands are?"

"I'm sorry, what?" you openly gaped. You weren't sure what Jane Austen was doing to him, but at this point, he had to be losing his mind.

"His hands," Hyunjin said simply. Lifting his own in front of his face, he wiggled his fingers. "They've got to be massive right? Big hand energy?"

"What does that even mean?"

"I have it. Big hand energy. How big are your hands?" he asked, feigning curiosity. Since before you had even started reading today, it had become clear that he was working off an ulterior motive.

"They're...average? I don't know," you grumbled. Furrowing your brows you tried to catch his eyes, but they were darting around too quickly.

"Let me see," he hummed. Dropping his book again, he lifted your hand to sit in his. His fingers were almost an entire joint longer than yours and he laughed in satisfaction. "Tiny hands. Just like Felix."

Wrapping your fingers around his, he sat your held hands on his knee again and went to pick up his book.

"Okay, hold it," you finally managed. "You're acting way more weird than usual right now. What's going on?"

"Fine, I can't take it anymore!" he puffed. "I've been reading this same paragraph for at least the past ten minutes."

"Because...?"

"Because all I can think about is holding your hand."

Your heart seemed to skip a beat at his admission. "Because...?"

"Because your hands are very worthy of holding!" he continued dramatically.

You grinned at him, feeling as if your heart could burst from your chest. All of this time Hyunjin had only wanted to show you affection, but he was far too in his head to go about it a normal way.

"I still think I'm missing a crucial part to the plot here," you prodded.

"If we were characters in a book," he explained slowly. "I would be the hero and you would be the love interest that I'm mortified of being rejected by."

"Why don't I get to be the hero?" you grinned. "And you can be one of the townspeople fawning all over me."

"Come on, Y/N," he said deadpan. "Do I look basic enough to be a towns person?"

"Valid point," you nodded. "But why would you be mortified of rejection?"

Hyunjin opened his mouth and then promptly closed it again. You could tell he was nervous about saying this part out loud.

Wanting to comfort the strange and wonderful person in front of you, you lifted your entwined hands, and placed a soft kiss on his knuckles. Any hint of doubt or fear fell from his face as his jaw dropped open.

"You're the best twist my story has ever taken, Y/N," he said, his tone one of awe. "And it's not a happy ending unless you're in it."

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #skz #stray kids #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin fluff #skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin scenario #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenario #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #skz fanfic #skz fluff

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