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mushroom-gt · 3 years ago

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contact ii

(at long last....... it’s here............. more lesbian mushroom content. part 2 of this, which should probably be read first. 3.5K words. please enjoy!)

Something was off about Amari.

The first few nights, Thana thought she might have been imagining it. It wasn’t always easy to get a bead on her, and her shifts were tiring, so it could well have all been in her head. Or if it wasn’t, then it could have been something small, or personal, something that would resolve itself, and her prying would be unappreciated. Everyone had off days sometimes, even fungi.

But the more time passed, the more oddities she noticed in Amari’s manner, and the more she became convinced it was something deeper. Her playful teasing about humanity’s many quirks up and disappeared overnight. When Thana offered her her customary half an apple, she either turned it down outright and claimed not to be hungry, or barely touched it, leaving only a few brown spots on its skin. She’d been weirdly hesitant the nights Thana needed to carry her from site to site on her spade, like she was having second thoughts about going with her at all.

Strangest of all, she could swear Amari was sitting closer to her than usual. Normally she was transparent, if perhaps not vocal, about her personal space and Thana’s accidental violations thereof. And she couldn’t really blame her; sure, she was magical, but she was also tiny, and in her shoes she’d probably want to keep a fair distance from anyone the size of a human, too. Not to mention she’d made it abundantly clear that she hated being touched. So the sudden shift in boundaries was… out of character.

She tried not to dwell on it as she put the finishing touches on tonight’s grave—squaring the edges, clearing the rocks, re-measuring the depth—but she kept sneaking glances at the fairy, who was sitting patiently on its rim, hands folded in her lap. That, at least, was normal. Amari always watched her gravedigging as if it was her own personal opera. If Thana didn’t know better, she’d say she looked fine.

But looks could be deceiving. Especially with the fey. Especially with Amari.

Once everything was ready to go for the burial, she wiped the sweat from her brow, stepped out of the grave, and took her seat next to Amari, who gave her a minuscule smile and a hum of acknowledgement. Thana returned it, let herself relax for a moment, then shed her work gloves and reached for her bag. She’d skipped her lunch break, partially because she kept telling herself she was almost done, partially because it was hard for her to stomach anything when she was worried, but the moment she sat down her body gave her a forceful reminder that she hadn’t eaten since the early evening.

Nothing fancy tonight. Just a granola bar, tuna salad on a bun, and an apple. She grabbed the paring knife from her pack and sliced into the apple, careful not to nick herself as she cut through its circumference and separated the halves. One, she placed with the rest of her meal; the other, she held out to Amari.

“Hungry?” she asked.

Amari blinked, looked between Thana and the apple, then shook her head. “I appreciate the offer,” she said, “but, ah, I find myself quite full.”

Thana frowned. “That’s what you said the last three nights, too…”

The fairy didn’t respond, and she sighed. “… You must be going through a lot of corpses, huh?” she said, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re gonna run out if you don’t pace yourself, y’know.”

She cringed inwardly at her weak attempt at a joke. Morbid humour was Amari’s specialty, not hers. All she got was a half-hearted chuckle before silence settled back over the two.

When had this started? She bit into the rejected apple as she thought. It hadn’t been too long ago… A week and a half, two weeks, maybe. It was around when she’d had that nightmare of a shift. Bleh. She barely remembered anything that had happened that night, she’d been so exhausted. It was all a haze. Had she said or done something in her fatigue that had offended her? Was that why she’d been pulling away? But then… why the closeness? Why keep showing up at all? And it wasn’t like her to be cagey when Thana said something stupid.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Amari staring. Not at the stars that dotted the night sky, as she usually did during pauses in conversation, but at her. At her—oh. Shit. She pulled her free hand away; she had accidentally placed it right beside her, nearly touching her. She’d been so distracted she hadn’t even realized. “Sorry,” she murmured around a mouthful of fruit.

Amari started at the sudden movement, but quickly composed herself and smiled in a way that seemed oddly forced. “You’re forgiven.”

… Was that passive-aggressive? Or was she reading too much into it? She didn’t sound upset… Did Amari even know how to be passive-aggressive?

Ugh. Overthinking. This wasn’t helping. If she wanted to know what was wrong, she needed to ask. She finished off the apple, but before she grabbed her sandwich, she turned to Amari, who was now looking blankly into her lap.

“Hey.” Amari’s head jerked up at the sound of her voice, and Thana bit her lip. “Did I, uh, do something…? You’ve been acting weird, and I can’t tell if you’re mad at me, or if something happened, or…”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” she replied, failing to make eye contact.

“Am, come on…” She resisted the urge to lay a finger on the fairy’s shoulder in some horribly out-of-scale gesture of comfort. That was probably the last thing she needed right now. “I know something’s up. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me about it, or if you need to deal with whatever it is on your own, but you don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re obviously not. And if I did something to hurt you, I want to know what it was so I can fix it.”

Even as she said it, she wasn’t optimistic that it would get Amari to open up. She was stubborn, and not the type for emotional sincerity. Part of her upbringing, from what she understood. She’d spoken before about how the fey preyed upon any signs of vulnerability… Thana gathered that she hadn’t just meant unfortunate humans.

So she was more than a little surprised when Amari took a deep breath and said, “No, it’s nothing like that. You haven’t wronged me, gravedigger, it’s… mm…”

Her cap darkened from off-white to light brown. Something embarrassing, then. She leaned in closer to the smaller woman in what she hoped was not an intimidating manner. “It’s…?”

“It’s merely that… er…” Any remnants of aloofness disappeared as she stumbled over her words. “Well… It’s, ah, I find it somewhat… awkward, speaking with you when you are all the way up there. I would prefer it, I think, if you would… elevate me.”

… What?

That… didn’t add up. They’d been meeting almost every night for months now, talking exactly like this, and Amari had never shown any signs of discomfort with their height difference before. And if she had been uncomfortable, she would have said as much in gruesomely explicit terms within the first week of them knowing each other. Something else was—

“Ah, my apologies, gravedigger, it was a silly request… Forget I said anything, I am perfectly—”

“No, wait, sorry—I was just, uh, thinking,” she interjected. Dammit, she must’ve given her a weird look. Her motivation didn’t matter. If she said it would make her feel better to be on the same level as Thana, she could do that. “It’s not silly. Do you want me to help you up onto one of the headstones?” She reached over to where her shovel laid flat on the ground.

“Actually, er—” Amari shifted in place. “The stones are… cold. And hard. Dreadful for the hyphae, you see, sitting atop them.”

Oh. She put down the spade and turned back to Amari. “Uh… okay, that’s fine, but… there’s not much else around, unless you want to sit on my shoulder. And I’d need to pick you up for that, I’m not shoveling you.”

The fairy reluctantly crossed her arms, but stood from her position nevertheless. “If that’s the only way, then… I suppose I can endure, just for a moment…” she mumbled.

Thana felt a bit bad for grinning, but Amari was painfully cute when she was sulking. “I’ll make it quick,” she said, then held out her hand before her, flat on the ground and palm-up. “Whenever you’re ready.”

She wasted no time stepping aboard, her gown of mycelia sweeping behind her and tickling Thana’s fingertips. She knelt down, took her place against the ball of her thumb, crossed her legs. Her posture was wooden as she settled in.

Then, like a switch had been flipped, she melted.

And suddenly everything clicked.

Now she remembered that exhausting night, when Amari had insisted on being carried by hand instead of by shovel. The first time she’d ever allowed Thana to touch her. She had intended to get it over with as quickly as possible, so as to minimize the amount of time Amari had to spend in her hand or perched on her shoulder. She’d expected her to keep stiff and indignant the entire walk, trying to conceal her unease, and she wanted her to suffer as little as possible.

But there had been none of the discomfort she’d anticipated. No, instead, she’d all but short-circuited as she sunk into her palm. And the only way she could think to describe how she’d buried herself in her neck for the walk over was snuggling. She’d been too tired to think much of it at the time—only grateful that she wasn’t causing her as much distress as she’d feared. Now, though, the closeness, the embarrassment, the excuses… It all made sense.

She wanted contact. She just didn’t know how to ask for it.

Thana lifted her slowly, cautiously, trying her best to keep her steady. Her fingers curled as she did so, like a protective railing around her four-inch-tall friend. Something bubbled up in her chest, looking down at her, how small she was… It abruptly struck her that she was holding a life, a person, in the palm of her hand, and for a heart-stopping second all she could think of was the myriad ways this could go horribly, horribly wrong.

But she forced herself to dismiss those visions. Logically, she knew Amari was resilient, not some fragile porcelain doll that she could thoughtlessly shatter. If anything, it was the other way around… Which was probably why she didn’t look anywhere near as concerned.

In fact, she looked like she was in paradise, her eyes shut and body relaxed. A tiny shiver traveled down the fairy’s form as she tried to press herself even further into the flesh of Thana’s palm. The contented little smile on her face was infectiously adorable, and Thana couldn’t help but mirror it. She seemed so cozy.

She gave her the smallest nudge with her thumb once her hand was level with her shoulder. It took Amari a moment to react, and Thana noted how disappointed she looked when she realized it was time to dismount. But still, she climbed off and sat herself atop her shoulder, nestling in snug and pressing herself close again, right where Thana’s pulse was pounding away.

It was amazing how perfectly she could sense all of her minuscule movements against her. Every twitch, every touch… Maybe because she was still in a state of hyperawareness, so focused on keeping herself still, so Amari wouldn’t fall. Though, would she even be hurt? The ground was all spongy, and she was made of… mushroom stuff. Mycelia, that was the word she’d picked up. That didn’t seem like it’d be damaged too badly by a drop. Still, better safe than sorry—

Tiny fingers brushed idly over her skin, delicate and affectionate, and her train of thought derailed and her heart skipped a beat. If she hadn’t been so fixed on keeping her balance she would have swooned. She wondered if Amari could feel the sudden warmth in her cheeks. Or… maybe she was too wrapped up in cuddling to notice.

“Better?” she whispered.

Amari tensed at the sound of her voice, like she’d forgotten she was lying against a person and not a pillow. But after a moment, she eased up again. Her head came to rest against Thana’s neck, and softly she replied, “Much.”

The next night, Amari seemed to be in better spirits. A bit more animated, a bit more like her usual self. Greeting Thana with more than a forlorn wave, giggling at her own little jokes. She was still quieter than normal, more easily distracted, but it was a start. And Thana had something she wanted to try, something she hoped would help.

Digging was never easy, but tonight the soil felt lighter as she hefted shovelful after shovelful out of the grave. Maybe it was because she’d actually eaten her lunch at the proper time, or maybe because Amari had accepted her half of the apple, and each time she looked up from the dirt it was visibly more drained. Whatever the cause, before she knew it, her work was done, and she stood in the centre of a perfect grave. She took a few seconds to breathe and bask in the fruits of her labour before emerging to the sound of Amari’s polite applause.

“Thank you, thank you,” she said with a brief bow before seating herself. “I trust I entertained enough to stave off your fey wrath?”

“Oh, quite so,” Amari replied, her face painted with a mischievous smile. “You’ve bought yourself another week before I decide I’m bored of you.”

They managed to hold the illusion for about two seconds before they both broke down into hysterics. Thana hadn’t realized how much she’d missed Amari’s proper laugh, restrained and dainty at first, and then like a dam bursting it became bright and loud and unashamed. Hearing it again was a weight off her back.

As the two caught their breaths and the 3 AM soundscape of crickets and rustling grass returned, Thana kept an eye on Amari from the edge of her vision. Thankfully she could be subtle about it, owing to their difference in height. Her suspicions were quickly confirmed; once she had settled, the fey woman turned her head away from the blanket of dark above them and towards her, instead. As though she was the moon and stars and swirls of cosmic colour, as though her body was celestial rather than human. She couldn’t catch much of her expression, hidden as it was below her cap, but what glances she got seemed… longing, almost.

She didn’t pretend to understand what was going on inside her head, what would make her look at her that way, when she was nothing special. Amari was a magic fairy who ate corpses and made it no secret that she thought little of the majority of humanity. And she was… her. Mundane. Human. She couldn’t imagine what would set her of all people apart in the mind of a fey.

But, well… She didn’t have to completely understand the why of it. Amari wanted to be held. And, admittedly… Thana wanted to hold her. That was enough for her.

The how was an entirely different story. It was all she’d been able to think about before sleep overtook her the previous day. Normally, she would have simply asked. She didn’t enjoy forcing people to play mindgames with her; she always tried to be straightforward and clear about her intentions. Amari… was not so direct. Whether because of her heritage or just her personality, she was a master of the unspoken cue, and she rarely said exactly what she meant, unless it was a threat. This was clearly a matter that she did not want to address candidly.

She could have asked anyways, but… no. She couldn’t humiliate her friend like that. The poor girl had been mortified last night. Even if she didn’t think it was anything to be embarrassed over—even if she would have reassured Amari of as much, that she didn’t think any less of her—it still wasn’t her place to push her out of her comfort zone when she wasn’t ready.

She’d just have to leave hers, instead. Which was… fine. It was fine! She could do this. She would do this.

… Now or never, dammit.

Thana rubbed her forearm and faked a shiver. “Man, it’s, uh, chilly out tonight, huh?”

It had been the best excuse she’d managed to come up with, but judging from the baffled look on Amari’s face, it was not an especially effective one. “I… suppose so?” she said. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Come on, work with me here… “Seriously? I’m freezing.” She shivered again for emphasis.

“… Really.”

“Mhm!”

“Perhaps you ought to have worn a coat, then,” she said, giving Thana a look of what in the name of hell are you talking about.

She bit back a sigh. This was exactly why she didn’t like being indirect. It was confusing, it led to miscommunications, and… she was shitty at it. But it was too late to try a different tack. She’d dug her grave, now she’d have to lie in it. Maybe she could still salvage this despite making an idiot of herself.

“You’re sure you’re not cold at all?” she asked, praying to any god that was listening that she’d somehow get her point across. “Because, y’know, if you are, I’d be more than happy to help you warm up.” Please…

It took everything she had not to collapse with relief when Amari’s countenance changed from perplexity to realization, and her cap flushed dark just a tad.

“… Now that you mention it,” she mumbled, with an exaggerated shiver of her own, “it is rather brisk. I would not be opposed to a chance to share in your natural heat… Er, purely for my mycelia, of course, low temperatures are rather detrimental to their health.”

“Right! Makes sense. Don’t want you getting sick.” She silently thanked her lucky stars and lowered her palm to the ground, inviting her aboard.

Amari made a decent show of hesitation, regarding Thana’s open hand as if it might bite, taking a slow step onto its surface, pulling her face perfectly into a mask of mild discomfort. If Thana didn’t know her as well, or if she had paid less attention, it could have fooled her. But the little shudder as she sat down, the too-quick withdrawal of her hyphae from the earth, the way she nestled into her palm like she belonged there…

A decent show of hesitation, sure. But only a show.

Thana withdrew her hand in a single smooth motion, careful not to jostle her at all, and cupped her other hand underneath for extra support. She carried Amari into her lap and held her to her abdomen, where she curled up against the fabric of her shirt. Warm and secure. The edges of the thin fibres that made up her dress grew to coil fondly around her fingers as she made herself comfortable. Her equivalent, she imagined, of a hug.

It was only fair for her to return the favour. She moved her thumb and placed it over Amari’s legs, gently pressing her to her stomach. Not enough pressure to restrain her movement if she decided she wanted to be free, but enough to keep her snug. The fairy gasped softly as she did so, more out of surprise than anything, and her cap turned another shade darker.

She looked up at Thana, and the expression on her face was a punch to the gut. Not just shock, but… Guilt. Fear. Shame. Like it was wrong for her to be so close, to want to be so close. Like it was worse somehow that Thana reciprocated. Like it hurt to be held so tenderly. Her eyes held a panicked desperation more suited for a wanted woman than a woman wanting, and it struck her like an arrow through the heart.

All she could do was hold her closer and give her the kindest smile she could. To say without words, it’s okay. You’re okay. I won’t judge you. I did this for you. Because I care about you.

We don’t have to say it. Not until you’re ready. Promise.

And, after what felt like forever in that sustained moment of silence, Amari managed to smile back. The colour in her cap dissipated, the anxiety faded away. And they both understood.

She wanted contact. She didn’t know how to ask for it.

She wouldn’t have to.

#gt #g/t #giant/tiny #giant tiny #gt writing #g/t writing #oc: thana #oc: amari #voices from above #my girls... my beloved girls #lays facedown in the dirt #my work is done and now i can die #graveyard lesbians

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evakuality · 3 years ago

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Mia, episode five

1. One thing Druck is super good at is these aesthetic shots. This whole opening bit reminds me of the scene with Amira when she’s praying in her room. Lots of beautiful shots of the room, curtains and stuff, which are just super pretty with a few hints of colour. I dunno, this is just an aesthetic I like and I appreciate that Druck caters to me. Mia is so cute, too! Like both the way she looks and also how kind she is. She still doesn’t really like Alex a lot (though you could see in that montage from the previous night that she’s warming up to him) but she still feels like she should leave things looking nice. These little post-it notes are sort of cute too, and you can see that she thinks they’re sweet. I don’t like this Bjorn though.

2. Interesting that we get a clip specifically one week later. I have no idea how that must have felt while this was live, and I’m really glad that I didn’t have to live through these long gaps in any of the things I did watch in real time. This one was reasonably low key though, so maybe the wait wasn’t as agonising. If you didn’t know who Bjorn is (I’m assuming the Niko character) then nothing in the last couple of clips would have felt all that alarming. But Mia’s so flirty here - that one conversation at his house must have really charmed her. Pity we didn’t really get to hear a lot of it because he still hasn’t charmed me!! And actually that ‘show a montage of how things are going while a song and/or other conversation plays overtop’ is a huge thing Druck does, I think. I feel like in some cases (Matteo and David after their first pool kiss moment, for example, or Hanna and Jonas breaking up) work quite well. But here, I think we needed to hear more of Alex to actually believe that Mia would be this flirty with him. For me, this is too big a turnaround from her very cold manner with him at the piano and an actual proper look at that conversation might have helped. But also, I am super biased because William and so maybe a more reasonable person might like it okay. This bit with Linn is weird. Genuinely creepy, and I’m not sure why they’re setting her up to feel like this. Maybe some sort of hint of the creepiness to come with Bjorn (I’m assuming it’s coming, anyway).

3. I don’t get this bit with all the pictures at the school. I assume it will become obvious later but I’m not sure what exactly they were trying to do with this. You’d think they run the risk of having the whole Abi chaker clan thing shut down - if this happened in my school there’d be so much trouble. A groups of kids once put post-its all over one teacher’s room and they got in SO much trouble for it, and that wasn’t obscene like this is. This thing here seems so targeted at the Abi thing, using their plan specifically, that it feels like someone outside the group wants them not to be allowed to run their theme. Or someone in the group who wants a different motto maybe. I don’t know, but it feels very mean and very specifically directed at this group of people.

4. Hmmm, I’m with Leonie on this one. I’d be giving Carlos the super evil stare too. It may be ‘funny’ to some of these people, but given that there are younger kids at this school (I assume, right? They still have classes running for the smaller ones at the end of Matteo’s season, allowing their prank to go ahead) this is sure to go down really badly with the school itself. I’m rolling my eyes at the ones who are outraged that the school is considering reporting it - what did they expect? Also, surely they can figure out who was doing it - people were literally throwing handfuls of the pictures over the stairs. Surely they could work out who it is. It’s pretty clear that Alex still thinks this is funny and I’m losing patience with him. Every time it seems like maybe he’s getting less gross he goes and acts like this again. Bleh. I’m not often rooting for Leonie and feeling for her, but wow today I really am. This is shitty and she has a right to be angry.

5. Ew, Alex, why are you stalking Mia again? She’s made it pretty clear she’s not happy with you. Turning up out of the blue like a creep isn’t a good way to go about winning her over again. His ‘we were drunk, what can you do?’ is so... stupid??? They’ve lost money from this, the school is really angry, they could easily have some pretty bad consequences and he’s all ‘meh, it was a drunken prank’? I know money isn’t an issue for him, but there are issues here beyond the money. I’m also kind of annoyed that everyone keeps suggesting she’s upset because she’s jealous. I’ll be really annoyed if the show carries on this way - this isn’t just a silly little prank, and people have every right to be angry and annoyed. Diminishing it to jealousy isn’t cool. Is Leonie also jealous? The people who are angry and upset they’re being blamed and their money has been taken?

6. I do love scenes where the whole girl squad is together. They make me happy and I miss seeing them together so much. But OMG, Alex is blackmailing Mia again???? I mean I guess it worked the first time so why wouldn’t he? But this is seriously shitty behaviour. Honestly, in clip one I was mildly starting to warm to him with the post-its and all, but he’s managed to speed run right back into ‘asshole’ category. This was the problem in the og as well - William was such an asshole, that in order to make him likeable, we had to see a much more genuinely villainous character. Alex is still super dislikeable and so we need someone ‘worse’ to make him look palatable, which I assume is coming. We’re halfway through - we should like him by now. I dunno. Maybe some people do? But he still has done nothing to make me think he’s nice or someone who Mia might be attracted to.

7. Oh a long Friday clip? Almost half the episode? I guess it’s going to be a rough one for Mia then. More reflections again - her whole face in the mirror now, but it’s surrounded by graffiti. I’m always fascinated by the way mirrors and reflections work, and it’s fun to see Mia slightly obscured in her mirrors even now. It’s not as disjointed as it was at the start but it’s not a fully clear reflection either. I may not like the way Noora/Mia’s story goes but I do like some of these things which show the progress.

8. I feel kind of sorry for Jonas, because that break up wasn’t his choice. But seriously, he seems to be blaming this on Hanna a bit and like ????? He chose to make her feel small and unworthy through her whole season. She’s allowed to try to figure herself out outside of him and his wants and needs. Eh, I know he’s hurting and all, but that’s actually his issue and he shouldn’t be pushing it on her.

9. This scene with Mia and Alex bothers me. He still seems to have no idea why she might find his actions (selfish and self-serving and filled with blackmail) offputting. ‘I fixed it, so we should totally be together now’ is such an immature and childish take on this. These types of guys need to grow up and learn that they can’t just buy and/or coerce their way into whatever they want. I like the way they decide to have Kiki walk past just as Mia has to choose whether to say she doesn’t want Alex or not. It adds a poignancy to it and Mia obviously chooses to stick by her friends. I do wish it felt more conflicting, like if Alex genuinely had changed or had shown he has depth or something it would be a bigger ‘wow she’s rejecting him for her friend’ but instead he’s still such an unpleasant character that I don’t care.

10. I’m not sure why Mia does the brushing off of the makeup - I feel like it made more sense when Noora did it (I mean I watched it once a very long time ago so who knows, but my memory is that it was her way of trying to reject being ‘pretty’ and having guys liking her because it was messing her up). With Mia, I don’t understand. Someone help me out?

11. I still don’t get what Mia sees in Alex. Again, I know I have a really big bias against him because of William and I know it was always going to be tough for him to be someone I care about. But even so, this feels like a huge whiplash when she says of course she likes him. I’d get it if we’d seen any of his development, but every time he took a mini step forward he shoved himself right back into dislikeable territory. Once again, I mourn the actual conversation between Mia and Alex. This all feels far too fast, and the fact that this is suggesting his blackmail is all good is very worrying. All the post-it notes in the world can’t make me think he’s nice enough to want to kiss.

Overall, I didn’t really like this one. I feel like the pacing is still off; I don’t believe the speed at which Mia has fallen for him and honestly it hasn’t been very long since Kiki was with Alex and had her heart broken. The fact that Mia even saw her and told him she doesn’t like him only to turn around immediately and change her mind is strange to me. Mia has always come across as a caring person who tries to do the right thing and help out her friends. That she has apparently no qualms at this point is difficult for me. They’re acting the hell out of this, but I can’t buy it. Unfortunately. Sadly, because this is based on a very flawed original, I don’t think it’s going to make me enjoy these two. There are things that I’m interested in seeing as we go forward but most of those have zero to do with Alex.

#druck #mia - episode 5 #didn't like this one #update on feelings about Alex - still don't like him #honestly I don't see why Mia goes after him #none of this makes sense to me

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sunflowerhae · 4 years ago

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She plays bass with jaehyun pls!! Also your music taste is *chefs kiss*

| 📣 > > ty! I quite like my music taste as well🥳😌 follow my spotify if u wanna see my playlists lmao (( @coolangelgwen - lowkey hate myself for this one but no regrets, right?!? )) I tried to make a more realistic conversation style, but idk how I feel abt it. Lemme know! Also~~ last thing, I promise - this isn’t proofread lol so sorry if it’s bad

Send in your own requests! 🧚🏻‍♀️🐮

“Hey, won't you call me back? ‘Cause I've been waiting for a text back. It hurts my brain - This chick who plays bass”

“Jesus Jaehyun, simp much?” Jaehyun reluctantly drew his line of sight from the unlit screen of his phone to the eyes of his best friend.

“What? No, what do you mean?” Johnny rolled his eyes and glanced around the coffee shop the two currently sat in, not focusing his attention on anything specific, before returning his gaze back on the hopeless romantic in front of him.

“I know you’re waiting for her to text you.” At the ~truthful~ words thrown across the table in humor, Jaehyun rolled his own eyes with a “psh” - trying to play off the fact that Johnny was unfortunately right.

“Her” was in fact Y/l/n Y/n, a girl he met at the NCT party that his frat held the previous night. Jaehyun didn’t usually enjoy or attend them, but he had a feeling (some unknown feeling) that he should maybe go to this one, so he found a calming spot in a corner, hunkered down with a beer and a bowl of chips, and prayed that the party would end soon. Friends came by and talked to him, girls came by to seduce him, but Jaehyun’s ass stayed firmly cushioned on his seat in that little, calming corner.

The corner just so happened to be near the food table, so people were coming and going; you were not privy to this fact. You - much like Jaehyun - didn’t usually attend these events. It wasn’t that you had anything against them, you just felt there were better ways to spend your nights. However, Haechan - your best friend - practically begged you to come, stating that,

“it’d be nice to have at least one other cool person there!” And when the younger boy used his pouting charms on you, you found yourself agreeing to his request.

It was lame, though. Haechan had been stuck like glue to you the whole night, prancing you around to his frat brothers and with the obnoxious, “see - I told you she was real!”, he enjoyed seeing the fire of joy ignite in his brothers eyes the more they got to know you. Haechan claimed it was because you were quite known on campus for being the cool, quiet skater girl with good fashion, and everyone who had a conversation with you came out better because of it. You would just respond that he was the Leslie to your Ann (which he would just laugh at, joking that he has scrapbooks of your friendship - thus scaring you more). What was lame, was the party. There was no reason or organization, which you didn’t really care about, you just hated the amount of people, thus lessening the amount of air flow. One glance at the food table that had basically no one by it, and you were telling hyuck you were going to get food and heading that way.

When Jaehyun first saw you, his mind immediately registered who you were. Y/n. The girl that skated through campus, and had dyed hair, and always had butterfly clips in. He had always wanted to meet you, but was never courageous enough to act on it. It was funny, girls practically killed for a conversation with him, yet the one girl he actually wanted, never even looked his way.

That was until now.

You turned your body out to the crowd and glanced around; eyes landing on the little, calming corner, and on the boy who was already looking straight at you. You knew him. Jaehyun. A lot of people liked him, but you specifically knew him as a member of this frat.

“Hi!” You smiled, and he looked surprised that you were even talking to him.

“Hey,” he waved back, “y/n, right?”

You moved closer to him, “yeah, Jaehyun, right? You know Haechan.”

“Oh, yeah I do. You know Haechan?”

“He’s my best friend.” You both nodded at this, but Jaehyun looked a bit surprised.

“Wow, how do you know Haechan? Aren’t you older?”

“I mean, yeah. How do you know I’m older?” You had a playful tone, which calmed Jaehyun’s nerves a bit.

“Oh, we have a class together. Environmental Impact on Civilization with Professor Cilinado?” Your eyes went wide, and even with the strobe lights going off, Jaehyun could see the blush that projected itself onto your cheeks.

“Shit, that’s right. Hi!” You both laughed, “um, I don’t know, Haechan just kind of came up to me once and started talking like we’ve known each other for years and I went along with it, and I guess the rest is history.” The memory of meeting your best friend made a smile cross onto your face, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but think you were beautiful.

“Yeah, that seems like him. Weird I’ve never met you, though.”

“Yeah, I don’t really come to this stuff.”

“Same, what do you like to do?”

“Um..listen to music, I like to play my bass, skate, I guess.”

“Wow, you play bass?” Jaehyun’s eyes went wide in surprise, and you laughed at his taken aback expression.

“Yeah, why, do I seem like someone who wouldn’t?” Jaehyun felt idiotic for once more saying something insensitive, but you, again, had a smile on your face.

“No! Yes? I’m not sure, it’s just always cool to hear that someone plays an instrument. And the bass is so cool.”

You start to respond, but turn your head instead at the sound of Haechan calling your name. “Well, can’t keep the devil waiting. Speaking of, if you want you can get my number from Haechan, text me!” Jaehyun eagerly nods, but you’re already walking away; your back turned around.

Johnny has to literally snap his fingers in front of Jaehyuns face to shake him from the memory of last night, and the moment Jaehyun saw Johnnys amused face, he knew he was caught.

“What’d I say - simp.”

“She plays bass, she plays bass. Nothing matters 'cause we're both in space”

Y/n (4:57pm) hey Jaehyun! I’m happy u texted me! Yesssss let’s totally do something together!! What did u have in mind??

And that’s how you and Jaehyun - basically strangers - ended up on the hood of his car at 1 am; eating chicken nuggets from McDonald’s and looking at the stars together.

“Everyone knows the buffalo sauce is the best, Jaehyun!” He laughed at your counter argument, but shook his head none the less.

“No, honey mustard is superior!”

“No, because you could get that anywhere-“

“-you could get buffalo anywhere! And why is it orange, and why does it taste the way it does?” You were both laughing in between arguing your respective sides, and if it weren’t for the slightly uncomfortable position of laying on the hood of a car, this moment would have been picture perfect (but really, it was anyway).

You were thankful that the college you went to wasn’t directly in the city, so when Jaehyun picked you up and drove to a good star gazing place, it was easy to see the night sky.

“Sometimes, I like to close my eyes and imagine I’m floating in space. It feels kind of trippy.” Jaehyun turned his head at the sound of your voice, but you continued staring at the sky.

“How do you do that?” He asked.

“Well, I have to be in a completely dark and silent room. Then, I just unfocus my gaze and I don’t move my body at all. It’s how people become, uh..Jesus what’s the word? When they get like, controlled?-“

“-hypnotized?”

“Yeah! I watched a video where he hypnotized the crowd and the viewers to see their past life - it was crazy.” Through out your small speech, you waved your hands a lot, and Jaehyun took notice of the fact that you spoke with your hands; it was something small, but he tucked it into the back of his head, and kept it to think about for when he needed to smile.

“What was your past life?”

“I lived at an old korean palace - like 19th century. I wasn’t a high position, but I was wealthy. I wore red a lot.”

“Send me the link?” You finally turned to lock eyes with Jaehyun.

“Yes, of course.” You both smiled at each. Nothing was said, but both of you could practically feel yourselves making room for each other in your hearts, the longer you sat on the hood of Jaehyun’s car; staring at the stars.

“How I wish we could just date - So you can teach me how to be more like you”

Jaehyun could feel himself fidgeting slightly while he waited for you to open the door to your apartment. After gazing at the stars, you offered him a tour of your place and a beer or two, and Jaehyun didn’t admit it, but he didn’t care if you said you wanted to kill someone - he would have agreed if it meant spending more time with you.

“Sorry it’s kind of a mess! I was going to clean it on Wed...” your voice continued going, but the farther you walked away, the less Jaehyun heard it, so he just chose to instead look around the main area of your apartment, and what he found left him in awe.

A black bass sat snugly in the corner of your living room, surrounded by plants. Behind your couch framed, vintage movie posters decorated the wall, and fairy lights, records, and books sat on the shelf above your tv.

You came out of the kitchen with a wine bottle and two glasses, and you sat them down on the coffee table while Jaehyun took a seat on your couch. “I like your apartment.”

You looked back at him with a smile while pouring yourselves drinks, and sat down next to him while laughing, “thanks. Like I said, it’s kind of messy,” you paused to take a drink, “But it’s home. Bleh, wine makes me feel old.” Jaehyun nodded while laughing, and the air became thick with quietness, which teetered between awkward and calm leniently. Jaehyun - as slyly as he could - stared at your side profile while you started talking about the movie posters hanging behind you. You had an aura of chill vibes, and it seemed that whatever you talked about, you managed to make interesting. Jaehyun was debating whether he wanted to date you, or be you, until he came to the conclusion that he wanted to date you so he could learn to be like you. Although it was the beginning of what he hoped was a new relationship, Jaehyun already had so much respect for you, and as you joked around with him about whatever the two of you could think of, Jaehyun’s excitement for the the future held only increased more and more.

Past life video

That was my actual past life btw! Lemme know what y’all get 😩 also just go on the website if you get a lot of ads - bc that can fuck w ur hypnotization! It’s not scary, I promise. The dude has a super nice voice. It’s vv trippy. If you’re a skeptic - do it anyway. Worst case scenario, you get a good laugh.

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izaswritings · 5 years ago

Text

Title: cinema blues

Fandom: RWBY

Synopsis: The night of the election, Oscar, Weiss, and Jaune go to the movies. ...Try to go to the movies, anyway.

(Or: in which Oscar is homesick, Weiss worries about election things, and Jaune frets about everything else. Problems aren't so easily avoided.)

AO3 Link is here.

“You didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to, Weiss.”

It is already evening in the city of Atlas, the sun setting far off behind the distant skyscrapers, all the buildings cast in dark silhouetted shadow. The theater is a hub of light and sound in contrast to the slowly dimming streets— a glowing sign flashes high above, the glass doors shining golden from the sheer wealth of light and noise and fanfare inside. Still, it’s far less crowded than Oscar had expected. In the eve of election day, the great cinema house has been left practically abandoned in favor of political celebrations and late-night distractions.

Of course, that doesn’t mean the theater is empty. The shortened lines wrap around the building, the air heavy with the smell of hot food, the distant conversations like a constant murmur in his ears. The three of them—Weiss, Jaune, and Oscar—are standing under a bright flashing sign, looking at a list of movie names that mean absolutely nothing, watching the lines move in.

“I know,” Weiss says, to Jaune. “Which is why I came, because I did want to.” Her arms are crossed, her eyes fixed on the movie board; she’s frowning, slightly, her foot tapping as she reads. Beside her, Jaune looks torn between fond and overwhelmed, and Oscar, a bit ahead of them both, watches the ticket-goers enter the theater, occasionally glancing back at them from the corner of his eye. “If you didn’t want me here, Jaune, you shouldn’t have invited me.”

“Oh, no, it’s not that!” Jaune waves his hands, rapid, laughing almost awkwardly. “Sorry, sorry, that’s not what I meant. You just, uh…” He trails off and cringes. “Look… very… upset?”

Oscar bites his lip at that. He’s noticed that too— Weiss had been almost cheerful on the walk over, news of the on-going election aside, but once they’d arrived her mood had taken a rather sharp nosedive.

Even now, something furrows at her brow; Weiss glares at the movie board and then squeezes her eyes shut. Oscar regards her with worry. “I’m just—” she says, and then sighs. She brings a hand to her temple, her braid swinging when she shakes her head. “I… don’t have a single clue on what any of these are about.”

Oscar follows her gaze to the movie board, the screens full of new titles and unfamiliar listings. Jaune looks too—and winces. “…Oh.”

“It makes sense,” Oscar offers, drifting back towards their side. He keeps his eyes on the lines, the bright lights of the screen making him dizzy. “I mean, um, we haven’t exactly been… I mean, we haven’t really had time recently, have we?”

Weiss frowns, still looking annoyed; Jaune is quiet for a moment, considering. “You know,” he starts, thoughtful, “I never really thought about it, but you’re right. We’ve been kind of… really busy this past year, huh. Two years.” He pauses. “Ugh.”

The three of them stand in contemplative silence. Weiss breaks first, sighing heavily, and turns around to walk over and sit down on a nearby bench, her annoyance replaced with exhaustion. Behind them, the election, still on-going, flashes the current poll numbers—60 to Robyn, 40 to Jacques. Weiss looks at the screen for a long moment, and doesn’t seem the slightest bit comforted.

“I didn’t even pay attention,” she admits, at last, eyes still on the election counter. “Even when I was home…”

“Always felt like there were more important things to do,” Jaune agrees, voice a little soft. He and Oscar share a brief look. Jaune nods first, silent agreement, and settles down next to Weiss. He watches the election news too, for a moment—lips tight and brow furrowed, eyes dropping down as if he could peer through the city floors and see straight down to Mantle. Oscar drifts beside them, unsure of what to say, hating the looks on their faces. He bites his lip and shuffles on his feet, and goes back to watching the theater.

The silence stretches—and then Jaune huffs and crosses his arms. “Yeah, okay. I have no idea what any of these movies are about either.” He rubs his chin. “Okay. Deciding factor. Oscar?”

“Hm?” Oscar is still watching the lines.

“What movie do you wanna see?”

Oscar shrugs. “What movies do people usually see at a theater?”

“What do you mean, what…” Jaune squints at him. “Oscar.”

“Yeah?”

“What movies have you seen at the theater?”

“Oh,” Oscar says, easily. He tucks his hands under his legs to keep warm and sits down on the bench railing, kicking his feet above the pristine street. Atlas really is far too shiny. It makes something in him ache for the dirt roads and overgrown wildlife of his home. “I’ve never been.”

“You’ve never… what?”

“Been,” Oscar says.

“To the theater?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve never seen a movie?”

“No, I’ve seen movies. Just not—”

“At the theater.”

Oscar almost laughs at him. “Yep.”

There’s a long pause. Both Weiss and Jaune are staring. Oscar looks back at them, something like bemused. “I was a farmhand,” he reminds them, honestly befuddled. “Middle of no-where, Mistral? And my Aunt and I, she had some helpers in the busy months but it was really just us, y’know?” Something in him aches at the memory—he hopes she’s doing okay—but Oscar pushes it back as he’s always done, and tilts his head. “The only theater around was two hours away, and it just wasn't worth the Lein, honestly. So, um. Yeah, I have no idea. I only saw movies released for scrolls… and my Aunt liked old-style cinema, anyway.”

“Meaning?”

“Lots of black-and-white Vacuo Westerns.”

Weiss puts her head in her hands. Jaune sighs. “Maybe this was a bad idea…”

Oscar winces. “It was a good idea!” he protests, kicking his feet. Gah, it’s cold. “Um, maybe we can just pick a random one?”

“I guess…” Jaune trails off, scratching at his head and leaning back against the bench. “I dunno. Weiss?”

“I mostly just came to get out of the Academy.”

“Yeah…”

They sit there, the three of them together, watching people mill about. The election booms on behind them, the numbers ticking down and up, constant change. Weiss looks at her hands; Jaune watches the poll numbers, lips pressed.

Oscar’s eyes linger on the theater, on the faces of the movie-goers. The fancy clothes, the unguarded smiles, soft laughter. It’s fancy in a way that makes his palms itch; he feels out of place here, too small and too—he’s not sure what. Rural? The streets are so clean he feels bad for walking there.

The more he sees of it, the less he likes Atlas. Haven had been big, but at least Oscar had felt like he fit there, just one of a thousand others. Even Mantle has felt—not welcoming, maybe, but solid. There is something about Atlas—maybe the troops, or the silver shine, or just the wealth of it all—that makes him feel the exact opposite. Like the city itself is rejecting him. Oscar can’t imagine living here. It feels more like a prop than a city; a shiny toy instead of a community.

He misses the farm suddenly and surely, a solid ache in his chest. He misses his Aunt. He misses—Mistral, maybe. Home. He’d never wanted to be a farmhand forever, but at least there he’d always known he’d belonged. Oscar has his team, now, has RWBY and Qrow and Maria and the others—but he knows the others feel it too. Atlas and the Academy are beautiful… but it is only barely a home.

He thinks it must cut Weiss deepest of all.

And it is Weiss, then, who decides for them. She tilts her head to Atlas’s clear sky, turned pitch dark and starless from the light pollution, and says, almost a sigh: “Let’s just… not.”

The idea of sitting still in a fancy theater, watching a movie he doesn’t care about and doesn’t know, surrounded by strangers… yeah, no. Oscar shrugs. “Sounds good to me.”

Jaune groans. “Movie night’s a bust, then. Man, and I’ll bet everyone else is having a great time, too.”

“We can never tell them about this.”

“Agreed.”

Oscar rolls his eyes, and hops to his feet. “I’m gonna buy popcorn,” he decides.

“For what?”

“I dunno. People-watching? I’ve never tried theater popcorn, I just want to know.”

“You’ve never had— !? No, no, no, right, I remember now, stop giving me that look— I’m sorry!”

Weiss rolls her eyes and pushes up off the wall. “Come on,” she says to Oscar. “I’ll pay. It’s all going to be stupidly expensive, anyway…”

They’re standing in line and buying food when the channel changes back to the election, the final ten minutes ticking off. Oscar glances at the polls—closer than he thought they would be, honestly—and bites his lip when he glances over at Weiss. Her stare at the monitors is grim.

“…You okay?”

She glances down at him. “I’m fine.” But her eyes draw back to the monitors. Jaune places a hand at her back. She gives him a look. He smiles at her, sympathetic. Weiss closes her eyes and sighs— and leans, just a little, into the touch. “Just… 47%. They must know he’s never going to do any good, don’t they?”

“Polls will close in a few minutes,” Jaune says, and squeezes her shoulder, a one-armed hug. “It’ll be fine.”

“Mm…”

But Weiss does not seem convinced.

They walk back outside, sitting on their bench, and Weiss watches the outside screens the whole time, as if reluctant to look away. Oscar munches on popcorn—dry, salty, and not nearly as good as Jaune told him it was, bleh, who would do that to perfectly good corn?—and puts it to the side, pushing it away slowly with the tip of his finger.

Jaune is still watching Weiss. “Do you wanna head back?”

Weiss shakes her head. “In a bit. Polls close in three minutes, right?” She draws her arms close. “I just…” Together, they watch the numbers tick up. 48%. “I need to be sure.”

Jaune is watching too, now. “You don’t think he’ll really…?”

Oscar watches the numbers tick. 49%. A knot of anxiety has formed in his chest, and he has to force himself to swallow. “Um… what happens if…?”

He can’t finish the question, and none of them can voice an answer. The dread grows. The numbers tick. Weiss closes her eyes, and her breath shudders. “How many more…?”

“…Thirty seconds.”

Her eyes are closed. Her lips twist. The polls shut. The results are read out. Someone in Atlas’s streets stands and cheers. High and hollow laughter in the air.

Oscar stares at the screen for a very long moment.

At long last, Weiss shakes her head, wordless. She lifts her head with a clenched jaw—eyes bright, her teeth grit, pain in her face and fury in the curl of her hands. Beside her, Jaune looks hollowed, eyes on his feet once again, as if to peer through the Atlas streets to Mantle sitting far below. His whole face twists, anger rising— and then it fades, driven back, resigned. He reaches slowly to his side, and grips the hilt of his sword. “…We should head for Mantle,” he says, subdued.

The Grimm. There is no doubt. Oscar stands too, his heart heavy. For a moment, oddly, he feels strangely distant—not as alone in his head as usual. A grief for Mantle that is more than just his—despair turned two-fold. He reaches out, almost terrified to know.

Oz?

The feeling fades. There is only him. Oscar closes his eyes, lips twisting on a grimace, and unhooks the Long Memory from his back. It’s nothing, probably. Always nothing. He’d just hoped…

But there’s no time for disappointment, or bitterness, or whatever this feeling is. Already he can hear the sirens.

“Somehow I knew it would end up like this,” Weiss says, soft, and lifts her sword. Her expression goes cold, lips thin with determination. The theater, behind them, lies forgotten, flashing lights and laughter like something from a different world— or maybe a dream. “Well. It was nice while it lasted.”

“To Mantle, then,” Jaune says.

“To Mantle,” Oscar echoes, and together they head for the ships.

#rwby #rwby7 spoilers #oscar pine #weiss schnee #jaune arc #ozpin #rwby fic #iza fanfic #please reblog if u liked!!!!#💖💖💖

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flashflashitsash · 5 years ago

Text

Lovesquare Fluff Week

Day 3: dancing/smitten

Thanks to @gryffindorcls for making this mess make sense some how.

Also sorry this is a day late, I struggled a lot writing this. It’s not my best but it’s here! Hopefully day 4 will be up later.

—

Adrien sighed and quietly ran his hands over the keys of the mini grand piano in the middle of his room. As he continued to play, random keys hummed while others connected to create a complete chord.

“Kid, quit beating yourself up! I'm sure she's not mad," his kwami called from across the room while admiring his cheese.

Adrien scoffed as he got up from the bench. “She found out my identity because I forced her to."

He groaned again and began to pace back and forth.

“You and the bug have been dating for months now, and it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.” Plagg rolled his eyes and floated over to the music stand on the piano. “Besides, she can’t get mad. You two were tied up in the dark, and I was hungry.“

“I know! But what if she is mad at me? What if she thinks I'm just this lousy, rich model? I can't lose her.” He sighed and dragged his feet over to the window.

They’d agreed to meet in his room by eleven o'clock. It was already eight minutes past eleven.

He rested his hand against the cool glass as he looked out his bedroom window.

He checked the time again and saw that his Lady was already 10 minutes late. He released a heavy sigh while turning to look back out the window one last time. Thoughts of her caused a slight smile to spread across his face.

“At least I'll always remember us the way we were before all this happened,” he whispered, moving his hand from the window.

He bit his lip in an attempt to push back the lump starting to form in his throat. With a heavy heart, he slowly made his way back to his bed.

“Uh, kid,” Plagg started, floating away from the piano and stopping in front of his chosen.

“I just need to be alone right no-” He stopped upon hearing a distinct knock on his window pane.

He felt his heart pound in his chest as he turned slowly towards the window. His breath hitched when his gaze met the blue eyes he'd loved since the first time he'd seen them.

“She came,” he whispered, rushing over to the window and throwing it open.

“Hey,” she said softly, holding a tote in one hand while the other clutched the yo-yo string that was attached to whatever was above her.

“Hey,” he said breathlessly, still in shock that she was here and that she didn't stand him up.

She bit her lip and looked around his room “Are you going to let me in? It's a bit chilly, and these pastries are still warm.”

Adrien shook himself out of his daze and nodded. “Yeah, of course, sorry!”

He immediately ran over to the window, grabbed her by the waist, pulled her in, and he sat her down gently to the floor. Without letting go, he offered her his biggest smile.

“Did you say pastries?” he beamed, glancing down at the box.

He reached over for the tabs, and Ladybug swatted his hand away.

She shook her head and moved the box away from him. “Nope. “

Adrien frowned.

“Whyyy?” he whined, glancing down at the box again.

She set the box down on his table near the tv and turned back to him. “Pastries later. First, let’s talk. “

He nodded and led her to the couch. Adrien then ran his hand through his hair, effectively brushing it over to one side.

“Actually...” she blushed, quickly ruffled his hair with her hands, and smiled.

“My words flow better if you look a little bit more as your superhero self.” She turned and even deeper shade of red and began fiddling with her fingers. “I’m sorry that was rude."

He shook his head, taking her hands in his. “No, no! I get it. I want you to feel comfortable with both sides of me.”

She smiled "But that’s the thing, Minou," she lifted a hand to his face and held his head close. “You're one person. Not two. I love you, Adrien. All of you."

She bit her lip and felt her eyes start to water.

“I just hope you can love all of me, too,” she whispered, her voice cracking towards the end of her statement.

She then removed her hand from his face so she could cover her own. Tears began to slide down her cheeks.

“Hey, hey.” He pulled her towards him and engulfed her in a warm hug. “I told you before...I love you in and out of the mask. No matter what.”

He paused to run his fingers through her pigtails. She cracked a small smile in response.

“As long as you’re not Chloé. God, please don’t be Chloé,” he mumbled into her hair.

She laughed and gently pushed him back. “I’m not Chloé, you dork. She’s Queen Bee, or...well...was."

Ladybug cringed a bit and then shook away the thought. That was a few years ago. They were almost 17 now.

She took a deep breath and looked back up at him. “I’m just afraid for things to change again.”

She traced a fake mask over his skin and smiled. He smirked, got up, rummaged through a playlist on his phone, and then connected it to his piano. She turned around on the couch and raised an eyebrow.

“Uhh...Chaton, what are you doing?” she asked quietly.

He pressed play and let “I'll Always Remember Us This Way” play on the piano all by itself.

He took her hand in his and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. He then ever so softly whispered “claws out” against her hand.

“Kitty,” she blushed, watching him smirk as his black mask appeared.

“One dance. Let’s just pretend today didn't happen for a few minutes. It'll just be the two of us...a cat and his lady basking in the moonlight, dancing the night away." He dropped to one knee and twirled one of her hair ribbons in his free hand

“May I have this dance, M’lady?” He pecked her lips quickly as she nodded.

He proceeded to lift her up in his arms and spin while she giggled.

Ladybug smiled and swayed slowly with him as the music continued to fill the room. She placed one hand on his broad shoulder and the other intertwined with his. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

“I love you...so much," he whispered into her hair, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

She looked up, placing her chin on his sternum and smiling at him. Ladybug memorized the look in his eyes. With each passing second, she felt herself melting from the amount of love she could feel coming from his green irises.

“Oh, Adrien.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her height. “I’ve been in love with you for so long...ever since you gave me your umbrella in the rain.”

She could feel him freeze in her arms.

“W-What?” He asked, his voice wavering.

His hand reaching up to touch one of her pigtails

“Tikki, spots off.”

Adrien shut his eyes as the pinkish-red light from her detransformation flooded the room. The coolness of the suit gone, and left in its place was soft cotton. The pigtail that he'd been touching became loose strands of hair in his hand.

“Your hair is down.” He smiled, smelling the scent of her shampoo.

He did not yet dare to look down to see who his lady was.

“Claws in,” He said pulling her closer.

Plagg flew out of his ring, immediately “bleh-ing” at the sight of the two teens.

“It’s about time, pigtails!” The Kwami snarked before feeling a familiar paw smack the back of his head.

“PLAGG!” Tikki whisper-shouted through gritted teeth.

“Wait...” Adrien paused and then grabbed the small girl by the shoulder and held her away from him. “Marinette!?”

She bit her lip and blushed. “In the flesh.”

Marinette chuckled in spite of her nerves.

“It’s you...I’m so stupid how didn’t I see it? You're both so brave and loving and smart and witty.”

“So, you’re not upset that it’s me?” She asked, feeling her stupid tears return.

“What?” He scoffed, softly placing a hand on the small of her back to bring her closer. “God, no, Marinette. I would never be sad about something like this. You’re so incredible. I never felt like I deserved you. You're so amazing and kind."

He blushed as his brain caught up with his heart

“What? Cat got your tongue?” She giggled, placing a soft peck on his cheek.

He shook his head and cupped her face. “I’ve loved you ever since you gave that giant speech while we were fighting Stoneheart. I fell in love again that day in class when you took the high road and sat in the back. The sun was hitting your face perfectly, and I started to see you in a new light.” He paused then shook his head. “However, I was dedicated to M’lady, but I’m beyond lucky to have two of the best people in my life turn out to be the same person."

She felt her face sting with how red and hot it had become.

“Your first day of school...I thought you had put the gum on my chair, but then later in the rain, you apologized...and you gave me your umbrella,” she chuckled softly, “After that, I was a goner.”

“Oh, trust me, I’ve been deeply and endlessly I love with you for years.” Adrien pressed his lips onto hers and felt all their emotions crash together. He could feel her love for him radiate off of her while his love for her poured out. He pulled back, brushing his nose against hers.

“And I’m never letting you go.”

#lovesquarefluffweek2k19 #ml #miraculous #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #ladybug and chat noir #ladrien #adrienette

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lumilasi · 5 years ago

Photo

Redesigned his timeskip look a bit as I didn’t like the original hair, and added an image of his new back tattoo. (The old one was kind of a mess and ugly bleh)

The incidents talked about here are both stuff brought up in the fic he first appeared in. (Reanimate)

Rest of the bio below:

Age: 23

Sexuality: Biromantic demisexual

RYUU’S QUIRK EXPLAINED

Quirk name: Crystallization

BASICS

Ryuu’s Crystallization power allows him to turn the things he touches into ice-like crystalline substance, that evaporates overtime like dry ice. It never melts into liquid. In truth, his quirk isn’t a typical “freezing” quirk, given he doesn’t actually ‘freeze’ anything even if it looks like it. He turns things themselves into this supposed “ice.” Meaning he changes the very molecular structure of the object he’s touching from whatever it is into his “ice” crystals. His ice by default is much denser and stronger than normal ice, although he can keep some of the original properties of whatever he crystallizes if he wishes so, so it can even be made stretchy and flexible.

A side effect caused by his parental heritage creating his current quirk has caused his body to be denser in a sense, making him much faster and stronger than average fit person or an average pro hero.

QUIRK WEAKNESSES

The power tends to have backlash towards him, that usually manifests in his own skin starting to turn icy and potentially leave him with frostbites; it also can cause his mind to slow down and hibernate in a way, making him sluggish and sleepy, both usually happen due to overuse of his power.

He’s almost constantly risking going into overdrive because of how much energy his body is capable of storing. In fact, that build up of energy can then burst out without his control and crystallize anything around him without his consent, even his companions if they don’t manage to block it. (In a sense, he has the opposite problem of Kain; Kain has too little energy to use, Ryuu has too much)

Ryuu’s quirk has a few different types of “crystalization” he uses: Object I Vapor/particle I Lethal

OBJECT CRYSTALLIZATION

Basically turns anything he touches into this ice-like substance, speed depends on the size of the object. He can choose if he just wants to turn the thing into pure, rigid and cold crystal, or if he’ll let it keep some of the original properties like the flexibility of canvas or strength of steel, or even the original temperature of the object. Bigger targets take longer to crystallize naturally.

If he doesn’t manage to crystallize the object all the way through, it’ll return back to its original state eventually, completely unharmed.

VAPOR/PARTICLE CRYSTALLIZATION

Allows him to crystallize any vapors/dust/particles in the air basically and turn them into his preferred ice-spear weapons. He can even create large domes or walls fairly quickly in ideal conditions, such as high humidity, snowfalls, pollution in cities, even just dust blowing in deserts to name a few.

LETHAL CRYSTALLIZATION

Infection: Basically he can kill you fairly quickly and painfully by turning your body into crystals. This happens by “infecting” his target with crystallization by poking them with his icicles or any sharp object he has crystallized, making the effect spread across their body fairly quickly. He’s naturally immune to this aspect of his own quirk, so he can’t turn himself into a crystal like this.

If the spread is stopped on time, the crystal particles eventually evaporate and leave the target unharmed. This is usually done by blocking the blood flow to the injected area, or in severe cases cutting off the limb. Ryuu can also decide consciously when infecting people if he wants it to be lethal or not.

PERSONALITY SUMMARY

Ryuu is blunt, straightforward young man with a temper, who doesn’t always think before he acts/says something. He’s not the smartest pea in the pod, more used to relying on his instincts and gut feeling than brains.

As a villain, he naturally has a violent streak to his personality, and enjoys torturing people he has personal beef with in very brutal manner. He’s not as unreasonable of a maniac as the media and law-enforcement likes to portray him as however; Ryuu generally doesn’t attack people for no reason. (The reasons can be petty, but usually the level of violence inflicted does correlate to how badly you pissed him off; stealing shit from him isn’t gonna warrant a death sentence, hurting his peers will)

He’s a very loyal companion to anybody who’s earned his respect and trust, but not the type to blindly follow you. He’ll only give his trust to those who allow him to call them out if they do something he’s not comfortable with. He is able to sympathize with people to an extent, especially if they’ve had similar experiences in childhood, such as terrible parenting and bullying/being blamed for things you didn’t do/fear over your power you can’t help having. How far this sympathy extends does depend on if he likes you personally, or not. It’s generally not a “get away with any bullshit” card with him.

He’s not gonna care about your sob story if you go and harm an innocent animal, for example.

BACKGROUND STORY

Ryuu’s original parents (Toushou) left him in foster care for Katagiri family, as they felt dealing with a child while also attending to the cause of Meta Liberation Army would become too difficult for them. Ryuu grew up pretty much knowing nothing of his parents, as his foster family did not bother telling him anything about them; Katagiris were convinced the parents would not come back anyway since they’d pretty much given the child away because he was “an obstacle” for their cause.

After Ryuu’s quirk manifested, it began to cause a lot of trouble as he couldn’t really control it so well, and the poorer rural area he lived in did not exactly have the equipment to deal with a situation where a child’s power is so volatile it can severely harm someone (turn people into ice statues, not freeze them with a coat of ice, but their flesh, bones, blood, all that itself turned to ice-like substance)

As a result, Ryuu was pretty much shunned by the community, and he was lonely for the most part as people were too afraid to play with him or even talk to him; he ended up getting bullied a lot because he was too scared to lash back at anyone in fear of hurting them.

Then a strange, ginger child suddenly showed up one day after he’d ran into the woods to prevent another burst of ice from escaping his body. (Ryuu had fits often where his power would just lash out and freeze everything around him instantly)

Ryuu made friends with the strange kid, a boy named Kain, who eventually helped him to master his power better. He also learns from his new friend that he’s being held in a secret facility, where his dad uses his quirk to “help” people as he puts it, though it’s pretty clear it’s something shadier.

Kain almost never shows his face to the villagers themselves, usually showing up only when Ryuu is alone somewhere, stating that if he shows himself, his dad will find out and make it impossible for Kain to get out and come see his friend.

As Ryuu grows, he starts slowly to get back at the people who bully him, thanks to Kain’s encouragement to not be afraid of his own power, as that’s what causes him to not be able to control it.

As a teen, Ryuu gets into fights and trouble a lot, often being yelled at or otherwise punished by the Katagiris. He doesn’t really care at this point, having long since stopped finding anything they say important. In turn, the family has started to slightly fear him for a whole new reasons.

Then, Kain suddenly stops appearing for weeks. It gets to the point Ryuu goes to seek out the place his friend said the base was, but finds nothing.

Meanwhile, some of the villagers had started to think that enough was enough, that Ryuu was becoming too dangerous for them to have around, and thus the village’s council had arranged a meeting to discuss what to do with the “disturbed foster-child.” Some of these villagers sneak after the boy secretly at night, deciding to take matters into their own hands before the town-council could actually make a decision.

They attempt to attack and kill him in the forest, but Ryuu lashes back, killing all of them instead. Now, sunken into bitter anger and dozen of chaotic emotions, he heads back to the village and destroys his foster-home, injuring the Katagiris severely, and he also attacks and kills most members of the village council, before running away.

During his run however, Kain reaches out to him, telling him to stay strong and keep going as he’d eventually come back, once he would find a way to get rid of his father. Ryuu decides to cling to this hope that maybe one day, his friend would return and prove he was real.

During his wait, Ryuu runs into a girl called Ezuko, who was somewhat falsely accused of murder (It was accidental) and she was never given a chance to explain her side of the story. Sympathizing with her due to his childhood of people making assumptions instead of hearing him out, he helps her out by bringing her to Giran, a man who generally helped out people like her who were down on their luck, including people who got thrown into the underworld without really meaning to do so. He hangs around her for a while, but eventually leaves figuring his constant presence could be bad for her, given how high his villain rank was becoming.

After reuniting with his childhood friend, and spending years travelling into alternate worlds with Kain in-between stopping by the small home of Kain’s childhood babysitter who’d allowed them to use her small village home as their sanctuary, he eventually ends up reuniting with Ezuko after asking Giran for a small favor, not knowing she still worked for him. This reunion was awkward at first as it takes him a moment to remember who the hell she was. Ultimately, he was glad to see she was okay, and they accept her into their weird secret family, with Ryuu eventually realizing that he perhaps was developing more feelings for her than just friendship.

(Wasabi and his mum Kei of course tease him about it, stating that he had a type, given Ezuko is another smart black-and-red wearing redhead in his life that he was fond of)

Few more extra details;

- Ryuu’s name translates roughly to “honorable/dutiful dragon of the lagoon,” and he has a dragon tattoo on his back.

- He and Kain share the same blood type

- His original surname Toushou ,translates to Frostbite. He is using his original surname’s English translation as his villain name on purpose as a “fuck you” to his parents. Katagiri was the surname of the orphanage keepers, and him using their surname as a known villain is another “fuck you” towards them.

- Ryuu is pretty immune to seduction tactics because he tend to require a strong emotional connection first before being attracted to anyone. He will legit just stare dully at you if you try to flirt with him, and depending on the situation, might just skewer you with one of his spears, or “freeze” (crystallize technically) you to death because you’re being annoying.

- He’s not attracted to Kain/have a crush on him despite what some may think; their relationship is purely platonic and familial almost. This becomes even clearer once Ezuko drops back into his life, as he develops pretty clear feelings towards her.

- Ryuu actually still has slight bit of morality left, and Kain tends to let him choose what to do in certain situations, especially if he notices Ryuu is not comfortable with what they’re doing

- he tends to come off as childish a lot due to his tendency to not focus on the here and now so much and basically doing his own thing constantly

- Kain has taught Ryuu bit of English and French, but while Ryuu is pretty fluent in former, he only remembers insults and curse-words from the latter.

- Ryuu has been characterized as an avid animal-lover by the law enforcement due to his tendency to be behind cases that involve punishing animal abusers. While he tends to be nicer to animals by default than humans, he is not as strict about it as this label combined with him being a criminal makes people think; he still eats meat for example.

- In truth his tendency to aid animals comes from his habit of wanting to aid those who can’t help/protect themselves, thanks to how he didn’t really get much support and help as a child apart from Kain. This means he is likely to help out a kid in need, such as how he’s bonded with a boy named Wasabi Saname, becoming a bit of a big brother figure to him.

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Bio sheet base (C) yourultraarchive

Oc (C) Me

#ryuu katagiri #Ryuu Toushou #katagiri ryuu #my bnha oc #bnha villain oc #character bio #character info #my hero academy oc #Lumi's art scribbles #Lumi's chaotic creations

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emybain · 6 years ago

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“We can’t do this” kisses for nodrian

this! was! so! much! fun! to! write!

okay but like, seriously, this may not be one of my best pieces, but it may compete with one of my favorite’s i’ve written

also, I really need to stop posting after midnight

this is based off of a kiss (kinda) prompt!

Nova wrung out her hands, eyes flying over the tiny studio apartment that was her home. She was almost nineteen years old and had moved into the apartment right after she had turned eighteen, yet she still had unpacked boxes laying around. But, for today, those boxes were shoved into her bathtub and hidden by the curtain, away from view. She had made her bed for once and wiped down the slab of surface that was her kitchen countertop and even vacuumed. Her apartment was sparsely furnished, which made cleaning for an event like this easier, she supposed. It had all the necessities: a bed, a dresser, a fridge, a stove and oven, a dishwasher, a small breakfast table with mismatched chairs, a second hand couch that had belonged to Ruby, and a coffee table she had salvaged from a garage sale. There was a laundry room downstairs for all of her clothes washing necessities. The only nice thing she had on display was the TV Adrian had given her, and even that was used; it was his old one from his room before he had bought himself a new one.

Now, Nova was a relatively tidy person. Not the cleanest person she knew, as she tended to leave her bed unmade for long periods and neglected to put dirty clothes in the hamper until laundry day. But today, she had to be the epitome of cleanliness. She scanned the five hundred square foot space for dirty clothes hiding, or, God forbid, the one piece of lingerie that she had received as a gag gift from Danna last Christmas. She had stuffed it deep within her least visited drawer of her dresser, not caring for the showy red lace. Bleh. She hadn’t seen it since she had buried it, but it would be just her luck for it to show up today, of all days.

She had been living in her apartment for approximately ten months, and Adrian Everhart was just now coming over. Not to see the space. No, they had plans to discuss one of Adrian’s recent projects concerning public schools. After the Final Battle, he had delved into a lot of volunteer work, helping to better the school system and helping the homeless and building shelters for those in need, among dozens of other things. Nova, on the contrary, had been pardoned by the Council for, in simple terms, doing more good than bad, and for helping them beat the Anarchists in the Final Battle. At the time, Nova had still been bitter and angry. She had wanted to yell at them that she wasn’t helping them because she had a change of heart, but she was helping them because her uncle had much more planned for Gatlon than Nova had known, and it would have resulted in thousands upon thousands of innocent lives being lost. But she hadn’t, for one wrong word would’ve sent her to prison, possibly for life. So instead, Nova chose to work with them, and speak out for improving the government and making it a democracy where the citizens could be involved instead of letting the Renegades handle everything. Others joined her cause, even older citizens. While she was still involved with the Renegades creating a plan to change the way their small portion of the world was governed, she had put more time and interest in helping the citizens of Gatlon in self defense and being able to rely on themselves and targeting a large age demographic. The public had been tentative at first, seeing as Nova came from a questionable past, but slowly, her program began to gain popularity. Still, she hadn’t completely earned the public’s trust. She received hate and criticism from strangers, and many still crossed the street when she walked down the sidewalk. But she had gotten used to it.

There was a knock at the front door, jolting Nova out of her thoughts. Her eyes widened, and she scurried across the room to the kitchenette, opening a drawer and digging through it. When she found the lighter, she rushed over to the coffee table where a small candle waited to be lit. It was pumpkin pie scented, which didn’t match the nearing spring season, but it had been the best smelling candle in the clearance section at the store across from her apartment. There was another knock as Nova hurried back to the kitchenette to put away the lighter. She cursed.

“Just a minute!” she called out, heading to the door. She paused in front of the mirror, an unnecessary item in her home that Oscar insisted she needed. There was a small tea stain on the corner of her hoodie, and a rip in the knee of her leggings. The socks on her feet didn’t match. Well, it wasn’t like this was a date. It was a meeting. And her attire would have to do. With a small sigh, she went to the door and swung it open.

“Hey, sorry about that.” Nova smiled brightly up at Adrian. She could’ve sworn he did a once over of her outfit, and the small quirk of his lips only served as evidence. She swallowed and held the door open more. “Ready to get to work?”

“Yeah.” Adrian stepped inside, and she closed the door behind him, hand tightening around the knob as he looked around her apartment with interest.

“It may look small, but it’s more than enough.” Nova bit her lip. Even now, she frantically searched for a bra peeking out from under a piece of furniture. Adrian turned back around, offering a supportive smile, but it did nothing to soothe the hammering in Nova’s heart.

Because Nova had a small problem. Even though they had agreed to break up and be nothing more than allies after the Final Battle, for obvious reasons, Nova was still very much attracted to Adrian Everhart. And as of the past…year or so, very much in love with him.

“It’s nice.” Adrian looked around again. At his old TV, at the few picture frames on her nightstand, at her bed. “Very…minimalistic.”

They broke into an awkward silence, Adrian turning his head to see more of her home and Nova watching his face for any bad reactions. Finally, she let out a shaky breath and forced herself to let go of the doorknob,

“Please, sit.” Nova waved at her couch, only sitting down once Adrian was seated. She made sure they were a good two feet apart. She reached for her notepad, which she had pre-placed on the coffee table for today, and the pen that sat beside it. “So, self defense training lessons in schools? How exactly would that work out?”

Adrian shifted his knees toward her, and she could’ve sworn he inched closer. “Well, like I told you the other day, we could make a pitch to all the schools in Gatlon once we have a program set up. I’m thinking this could be more for middle school and high school kids, but we could also offer easier stuff for elementary schools. Make it more fun for the younger kids, you know? More of an introduction into self defense, and the basics.” He licked his lips, drawing Nova’s eyes to them. They flickered back to his immediately. She ignored how her cheeks heated up, instead choosing to jot down notes.

Nova tapped her pen against her notepad. “I work with kids every day, Adrian. The program is open to all ages. Offering time in multiple locations is hard. We only have so much staff, and being in many locations is hard on them, not to mention the cost for new equipment, renting spaces, paying our staff…you get the point.” She waved a hand and cleared her throat. “We’re still new, Adrian, and we’re very, very poor. And while I hate having to even charge for self defense in the first place, I would have to raise our prices to accommodate to your demands.”

“I mean more like a preview to the program itself.” Adrian shifted closer again. “I’m very aware of the financial side of things, Nova, trust me.” He smiled. Her heart skipped. “But, if we took, say, an hour out of a school day for an assembly once a year, make it a required event, invite parents to observe, etcetera etcetera, and have you, maybe, demonstrate some techniques, talk about the program, whatever, it could help the kids grow up to be more independent, and if parents are interested enough, it could help you as well by bringing in more customers. Not to mention,” he paused, breaking eye contact for a moment, before adding on it a much softer voice “it could help your reputation.”

Nova’s fingers tightened around her pen. She glanced down at her lap. “This has nothing to do with me, Adrian. What people think of me doesn’t bother me. I could care less what they say.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she didn’t let him. “And yes, I know what they say. I hear it every time I leave my apartment.”

“I just thought I would bring it up-”

“This is about the kids and the future of Gatlon,” Nova established sternly. “I’m simply here to help plan and execute it.”

They were both silent, neither meeting the other’s eyes. Nova did take notice that Adrian was less than a foot away from her now. That was partly her fault, allowing him to get closer instead of scooting away. The Final Battle for Gatlon was over two years ago, and while they had agreed to be allies for the sake of bettering Gatlon, and hopefully the world, Nova and Adrian had dared not stray into relationships of any kind that were not professional or friendly. Adrian had never truly forgiven her for what she had done, and she had never truly forgiven him for similar, yet different, reasons. At first, their relationship after the battle was rocky and awkward, then soon it developed into a professional one. Then, seeing as they were friends with the same people, they began to slowly become vulnerable around one another again, as hesitant friends. And more recently, Adrian had been showing signs that were not signs meant for Oscar or Danna or Ruby.

But that scared Nova. Their healing relationship was a good sign, yes, but it didn’t help with her very solid and very real feelings for him. And if those feelings were to even be expressed in something as miniscule as a look or accidental brush skin, their relationship could fall apart just as easily and twice as fast as it had reformed. A stitched wound was still an injury. It needed to be cared for and treated delicately so the stitches wouldn’t tear.

Adrian suddenly grabbed her hand that wasn’t gripping the pen, inching closer until there was very little space between them. Nova’s face grew hot, heart speeding up. She looked anywhere but at him.

“Is it so bad for someone to care about you? To want you to be safe?” he murmured, breath fanning her hair.

Nova gulped, lungs not quite functioning properly. “The only person who needs to care about me, is me.” She wanted to tear herself away from him, to rip her hand away from his, which was slowly interlacing their fingers. But she also felt her belly churning, telling her to just stay a moment longer.

He had the nerve to smile. “Then tell me why I do, too.” He leaned in closer, if that were possible, and when she didn’t object, he took the notepad and pen away from her, setting them on the coffee table. Just so he could take her other hand.

“Adrian,” she whispered, feeling dizzy and hot and a million things all at once, crashing into her.

“Nova,” he whispered back, a plea. Their eyes met, and then, by the force of gravity, their lips brushed. For that split second, Nova was on fire.

And then her senses flooded back, filling her body with horror and regret and a self hatred that had been kindling for so long.

She pulled her hands away from him, her dizziness turning to nausea. Her head fell forward, finding the crook in his neck, despite her brain telling her to get as far away from him as possible, that this was impossible, that he could never and would never be hers.

“We can’t do this,” she gasped, desperate for the air that he had taken from her.

Adrian was breathing as heavily as her. His hands found her shoulders. “Why not?”

Nova found the strength to push back, to give her enough space between them so she could collect herself. She could still feel his lips, just barely over hers, just barely kissing her before she had pulled away. “Because of you,” she said bitterly. “And because of me. Who we are, Adrian.”

“Is this about what we agreed on?” Adrian rolled his eyes, sighing exasperatedly. “Nova, that was two years ago. I thought I made it clear long ago that I had forgiven you. I thought you had forgiven me too, but apparently, I was wrong.”

“When did you forgive me,” Nova demanded. Her head was still spinning. She blinked, hoping it would help her.

“When you started showing that you really wanted to bring change.”

“That’s very vague.”

“Oh my-” Adrian groaned, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses. “When you agreed to work with the Council on a new system.”

“That was, like, two months after the battle,” Nova deadpanned.

“Exactly.” Adrian nodded, tone matching hers.

Nova opened and closed her mouth, feeling like a fish. “Whatever…no, it has nothing to do with that.” Actually, it had a lot to do with that. Nova ran a frustrated hand through her hair. “Adrian, you and I both know that we could never be together.”

“Why is that?” Adrian leaned closer, but this time, Nova leaned away.

She laughed bitterly. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that my uncle was Ace Anarchy. And not only that, but I am the only well known Anarchist to have walked away from that battle alive, so the destruction my uncle caused is immediately my fault. People aren’t exactly fond of me, Adrian.”

“I thought you didn’t care what other people thought of you.”

“I don’t.” Nova groaned, resisting the urge to go bang her head against the wall. “It’s you who would be affected by it.”

“I don’t care what they think,” Adrian said quickly. Nova gave him a look.

“Really? Tell me that again when, in two months, say we’re out in public together and the media writes about it, you start getting death threats in the mail over our relationship. Trust me,” she said dryly, “you’ll care then.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” Adrian moved closer again. Nova was out of room to move any further back; her back had hit the couch arm. His voice grew soft as he spoke, “Nova, I will never give a horse’s ass what anyone thinks of us. You have been all I can think about for three years, ever since I had to fix that damned bracelet of yours.”

Nova clenched her fists. There were tears at the back of her eyes. She blinked rapidly, hoping that they would go away. “Why? Why me, Adrian? I’m only going to end up hurting you again.”

He grabbed one of her fists and unravelled it, placing her palm over his chest. She could feel his racing heart beneath his shirt. “Then break my heart, Nova Artino. You have my permission. I am not fragile. I will only heal and come back to you, again and again.”

“Adrian, you don’t-”

“I’m in love with you, Nova.”

And then Nova, incapable of controlling her emotions, unable to think straight, because holy hell, Adrian Everhart said that he loved her, no, said that he was in love with her, pulled him to her. Their lips crashed together in sloppy delirium, but very soon, they found a rhythm. Nova shook as she wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands went to her hair, and he twisted them around so he could lay her down on the couch. All of her senses were in overload, spilling over the edge with nothing but Adrian, Adrian, Adrian in them. Far away, she heard herself say his name, and him responding with a soft moan. She thought back to their first kiss, a lifetime ago, and how this was so, so much better.

Only when Adrian kissed her tears away, before moving onto her neck, did Nova realize she had been crying.

Nova picked at a snag in Adrian’s long sleeved shirt, head resting in the crook of his arm. Their legs were tangled together. The sun had set not long ago, and they laid together in the dark apartment in silence, just holding one another and listening to the sound of each other’s breathing.

“I’m in love with you too, Adrian.”

#archenemies #archenemies spoilers #nodrian #nova artino #Adrian everhart #supernova #asks #my writing

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mautadite · 5 years ago

Text

october book round up

19 books this month, which brings me to 125 for the year, and i’ve officially completed the yearly challenge! :) a little later than last year, but still earlier than i expected. i don’t imagine that i’ll read as much as i did last year, but i can still get a good bit done in two months i think. this month was pretty much just different flavours of romance, once again all audiobooks.

poison kiss - ana mardoll ⭐️⭐️⭐️ mixed feelings about this one. urban fantasy/paranormal with a neat setup and world building, but i feel like the author didn’t tell the story in the most effective way? not enough time spent on certain sections, time skips that were not needed, too many flashbacks. the poly romance was really sweet, though i didn’t much care for the love at first sight aspect when the third character was introduced. but this was a good book overall, with a unique plot and cast; might revisit the series.

the best boy ever made - rachel eliason ⭐️⭐️⭐️ very cute coming of age/ya romance. a conservative country girl is at first shocked when her best friend comes out as trans, but she slowly finds herself becoming his biggest champion, and then falling in love with him. took me a while to warm up to it bc i found the protagonist to be kind of obnoxious. and some of the later plot events were kind of ham-fisted. but i definitely liked it, mostly for sam and how good and kind he was.

i wish you all the best - meason deaver ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ BRUH I’M CRYING IN THE CLUB. this was a really fucking sweet ya romance. the main character finds themselves homeless after they come out as nb to their parents. they move in with their sister, enroll in a new school, and find themselves making friends with (and slowly falling for!) a literal ray of sunshine. this was great, another one of those books i wish i could have read when i was younger. dealt with coming out, depression, anxiety and first love, had great writing, and i’m still thinking about how great the ending lines were.

the neighbour - gerri hill ⭐️⭐️ eh... a book that COULD have been good (woman with a stunted career as a writer moves back home to take care of her ailing mother, finds herself falling for the rich lesbian player next door) but both main characters were so thoroughly unlikable lmao. judgemental, snooty, made jokes about harmful things, kind of elitist... there was one aspect of this book that i really liked (the main character changed careers later in life and it wasn’t seen as a failure, just moving on) but otherwise this was a disappointment.

the turner series - cat sebastian ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ historical romance!!! always a fave. this was a pretty fun series; first three m/m, last one f/f. a bit of mystery and intrigue in all of them, good humour, and a great cast of characters through and through. the second one was probably my favourite; one of the mcs suffered from anxiety attacks in an era where there was a lot of wrong information about mental health, and his love interest (a cheat and a scoundrel) ended up being the best thing that happened to him. although now that i’ve said that i just remembered how very much i love the third book’s protagonist (the rake, to be specific). standout character for sure. the last book has a dear place in my heart bc even though you can tell that the author doesn’t often write f/f, and it was a pretty short novella, it’s still historical lesbians, and i eat up historical lesbians with a spoon. (i could make a pretty bad joke here but lo and behold; i have GREAT self control.)

the secret casebook of simon feximal - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ when k.j. charles is good, SHE’S REALLY FUCKING GOOD. this is a paranormal-mystery/romance book styled after the adventures of sherlock holmes (if you must know one thing about me it’s that i’m a slut for acd holmes, don’t fucking @ me), set in the very universe itself. not quite a pastiche but close enough, and it was so well written, with great world building around the magic and paranormal events, great characters, GREAT ROMANCE. told as stories published by robert, simon’s biographer and lover. i adored this and will definitely reread.

puppy love romance - georgia beers ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a trio of f/f novels centred around an animal rescue, and the women who work and volunteer there and fall in love there. each of these novels was really sweet, grounded in a way that i like for contemporary romance, and they all had adorable dogs in them. and i feel like beers really knows her way around plotting and pacing a novel, especially small town romances. but i also had pretty sizeable nitpicks for each of them lol. part of it is that i just got tired of beers’ writing style (as you can see, i took a break between the series). this is such a weird complaint but oh my god she uses too many adverbs lol. also there was always an emphasis on how amazingly stunningly gorgeously beautiful all six women were and it got so tiresome. idk who wants to read about women who are physically perfect all the time, but it’s not me. and one half of the romantic pair in each book (lisa, emily and sydney, in that order) had attitudes that i found obnoxious and were not resolved and i felt bad for their girlfriends having to deal with them. a fun read all in all, but some of those things rubbed me the wrong way, and i’m ready to take a break from this author.

bound series - ava march ⭐️⭐️ a resounding meh. historical m/m romance that wasn’t bad, but there wasn’t anything great about it. i only read these like maybe a week and a half ago but i’m struggling to remember details. there was bdsm, which i didn’t hate, but i also didn’t care. the plot was bleh, the sources of conflict were weak, and one of the dudes was kind of an asshole. /shrug emoji

reverie - eliza andrews ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ god... GOD. the ride i took with this book was like... a really sexy butch took me out to dinner, wined and dined me, and in the very last course she leaned over and spit in me food. the premise: a woman on the run from her abusive ex-husband settles into a small town where she find herself drawn to the only out lesbian in town, a sweet butch ex-marine, and her mysterious nurse of a neighbour. this book was soooooooo well written, so well crafted, so moving, so beautiful. a paranormal mystery that actual kept me guessing. i was ready to name it the best f/f book i read this year, if not the best romance period. and then the ending. the FUCKING ENDING. i’ve rarely been so let down in my life. i’m looking at the four stars i gave this and wondering if i should go lower because SERIOUSLY. thinking about it is getting me kind of upset. this book could have been SO good. uuuuuugh.

brothers of the wild north sea - harper fox ⭐️⭐️ this is tricky because like. this book was definitely like, not good lmao, but it was good enough that i almost feel guilty giving it 2 stars. this is a historical romance that takes place more than a thousand years ago between a viking and a monk. it wasn’t badly written, probably wasn’t historically accurate but i mean, i don’t care. but it was too long, i didn’t care about the characters, it was badly plotted, and just really confusing overall. i think harper fox is great at writing romance, but all other aspects of this novel fell flat.

escape velocity - anah crow, dianne fox ⭐️⭐️⭐️ sci-fi m/m romance. a linguistic researcher and a pilot struggling with his religious beliefs fall into a whirlwind romance. pretty cute. i found it too short as i find most novellas, but i think the authors did a lot in relatively few words. definitely wish there was more worldbuilding. kind of hope the authors have plans to make this a series.

nowhere ranch - heidi cullinan ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a sweet romance between a farm hand and his boss. i didn’t think i’d like it much, but it was pretty enjoyable! very simple writing stuff that fit well with the gruff, no-nonsense, trying to shut everyone out protagonist. i really liked him; identified with him a lot, and his journey into opening up, dealign with his anxiety and self-worth issues. and the romance was sweet (though oooof, some of the sex scenes were too much). the book went from being really raunchy to really domestic and i kind of liked that. the resolution came a bit too quick, but i enjoyed it nonetheless.

that’s it for october! still currently unemployed, waiting for the people i signed a contract with to call me. since i don’t want to dip too much into my savings i’ve been doing odd jobs here and there, and might take a more steady part-time job in the meantime? all of that to say: i probably won’t be reading as much in november. i’m currently reading the first book in the spencer cohen series, and not... really loving it, lol, so i might pass on the others.

#book talk #long post

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thewildwaffle · 6 years ago

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Abduction - Chapter 16

Not even being sick this week could stop me from getting this written - though I must say it did slow me down... Bleh! Hopefully a bit more sleep and cough drops and I’ll be good to go!

Reading this to some of my friends really helped. Not only did they give me some good ideas, but also I noticed a lot of things about my story as I went through it. There are a lot of things I thought I’d made clear, but didn’t, or thoughts I was going somewhere with, but have kind of abandoned. This is definitely a first-draft process for me- but posting it as I go has REALLY been helpful. Not only do I feel more accountable to keep writing, but the feedback I get is really worth its weight in gold. I know I’m not a perfect writer and I know this is a first draft, so I am open to constructive criticism or recommendations, so feel free to let me know what you think - you’ve no idea how much it does for me!

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter

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“It's going to take time. Time and parts. Both of which are a bit tight lately, all things considered.”

That's not good. Not what you want to hear from a mechanic.

“How much time are we talking about?” Captain Salora's gaze wandered from the mechanic to the rest of the Rock Base docking Bay. Unlike the last time they'd visited, it was full - very full, and very busy. All the bays were. There had been very few ships that had made it out of the battle without intense damage.

“We're doing what we can with what we have on hand,” the mechanic, a tired-looking tibet replied. Its long red fur was matted and covered in oil. “We’re waiting on a shipment now, parts, supplies, assistance. As soon as they arrive,” they gestured with a long, hairy red arm to the vast, very full docking bay, “we’ll be able to get all this sorted out.”

Captain Salora glared at the scene. What a mess. With a sigh, she turned back to the tibet. “And how long until help arrives?”

The mechanic picked at a small matte on their arm with their wrench. “Who’s to say? I expect that it will be coming in at different times. Some of it is coming from Karcheer, some from Earth- and not all their ships are warp-capable yet. The earliest shipments should be here within a solar rotation or two.”

“Very well. Is there anything my crew and I can do to help until then?”

“Honestly,” the tibet stretched his arms behind him before straightening back up, “The best thing to do now is just to sit tight and let us work. Once the shipments get here, there’ll be more to help with.”

“I see. Thank you,” Salora turned to leave. “If you’ll excuse me then.” She headed toward the hangar’s exit. The claws on her feet clacked dully against the stone and metal floor. Her crew. Or at least what was left of her crew. They’d lost nine during the attack, including the humans. She’d lost nine.

As she walked through corridors, she spotted a familiar shape slumped in a corner. Internally, Salora braced herself back up. Nine of her crew were gone, if that was her fault or not was not important now. She still had to be the captain for those she still had. They needed her as much as she needed them.

“Thurrin,” the small booka lifted her head, her fur brightened a bit, “What are you doing out here? Where is everyone else?”

“Everyone… oh,” Thurrin pawed the sleep from her eyes, “They’re still up on level twelve. When I slipped out, it looked like almost everyone was just about asleep. I just… I needed some time alone to think, so I came down here.” Her fur darkened again. Salora tried to hide her frown, it was a rare sight to see Thurrin’s fur so dull, and it was not a sight she liked to see.

“Do you...” the small booka sounded like she was trying to not let her voice break, “Do you think they made it? Is it possible they could have made it? The humans and Jebannuck? Is there any possibility that they’re still alive?” Salora had wondered the same question, though not as much or as deeply as Thurrin obviously had. Part of her felt a little guilty for that, though it was safe to say she had a lot of other issues vying for attention since the attack. Jebannuck Sefra was one of her most trusted and reliable officers, his absence these past solar cycles had certainly left a hole. She had tried not to think much about its permanence. The humans, though she hadn’t had much opportunity to bond with them, had seemed endearing in their own ways. They certainly did not deserve their supposed fate.

“I’m sorry Thurrin,” she paused. She didn’t want to have to be the one to say this, but it had to be done. It was in the best interest of the rest of the crew if Thurrin finished the grieving cycle sooner rather than later. But still. “I… I suppose it might have been a possibility, but not a probability. We lost a lot of good Confederation soldiers. The blast to the ship could have killed them, and if not, the vacuum could have taken them.”

Thurrin kept her eyes down, absently watching her back paws. It was silent for quite a while. Thankfully, no one came down this section of corridor, it was just silent.

“Captain,” Thurrin muttered hesitantly, “Is it bad if… am I a terrible person if I…” small flickers lifted off from the tips of her ears. Her fur really looked like a dying fire now, about to go out. She gasped a quick breath and began sobbing, “It’s the possibility that’s killing me. The not knowing. I just… I just wish I knew if they were gone, I just wish I could be sure so I could- so I could mourn them properly, but instead - instead I’m stuck somewhere between hope and grief and it’s - it’s tearing me apart!” Captain Salora pulled her head back. This was not what she’d been expecting. Thurrin was usually so collected, so bright and cheery. She’d never seen her lieutenant like this.

“Am I a terrible person if part of me just wishes I knew they were dead? I hope they’re not - oh frewan I hope they’re not! But... I know - I know they must be.” Her tail lashed angrily, “But, but what kind of person wishes they knew their friends were… were…” She buried her face into her arms. Her whole body seemed to try to squeeze in on itself. Her tail, usually a long, bright puff of faux flames, wrapped tight and small around her.

Salora was unsure of what to say. What wouldn’t make things worse?

As an Akeno, Salora was not usually one for physical expression, but as a captain over several various species, she’d learned the importance touch has among many of her crew.

She rested a claw on Thurrin’s shoulder. For her own people, such contact would be outrageously intimate and inappropriate, but for bookas, well, it was probably nowhere near enough. It was a start though. Thurrin seemed to notice it. Her fur flickered slightly at the touch.

“Thurrin, they were your friends. What you’re feeling now is… well it’s painful, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You are not a bad person for wanting closure, for wanting to mourn for them.” Thurrin raised her head up to look her captain in the eyes. For a moment, she looked like she might say something. Instead, she leaned into Salora’s crouched form, trying to bury her fur into the captain’s side.

Salora froze. This was… new. And a bit uncomfortable. Quite uncomfortable actually. What was she supposed to do now? This was a lot of touching. Thurrin’s fur was warm, which felt nice, but still, she tried to not let her discomfort show. Thurrin must have sensed it anyway. She pulled back quickly, a mortified look on her face. Her fur blazed up in flashes of bright oranges and yellows.

“Oh, Captain, sorry I’m - I’m so sorry, I… oh that was so unprofessional! I was so - I’m such a mess! I’m sorry!” In a mad scramble, Thurrin was up on her hind legs, fidgeting with her front paws. She looked at the ground as she slowly shuffled backward, still murmuring apologies.

“Thurrin,” the murmuring and shuffling stopped, “It’s alright. You’ve nothing to apologize for, you’re alright.” Salora stood back up, her legs thankful to be fully-extended once again. She rested one hand on Thurrin’s shoulder, the touch helped calm down the embarrassed flickers in the booka’s fur. “Come on, let’s get back up to level twelve. I think we both need a rest.”

They walked in silence most of the way. Thankfully, the corridors remained deserted for the most part. When they reached level twelve, Salora stopped in front of the door where the majority of the crew had been assigned communal quarters.

“Thurrin, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I wish I could tell you for sure what happened to them. I wish I could give you hope, or at least help you find closure. I’m afraid all I can offer is a listening ear if you need one, and whatever comfort I can give. Please don’t feel like you have to go through this alone.”

Thurrin nodded, her eyes flickered for a moment to meet Salora’s before dropping back down to her paws.

“I was told we will have a few solar cycles before more supplies come in. Until then, I suppose we have a few days reprieve. Try to get some rest.” She turned started towards the door to the quarters she had been assigned, but paused and looked back at the smaller crewmember. “If you need anything Thurrin, feel free to ask me. Anytime you need.”

“Thank you Captain.”

What a ship! Wenona could not get enough of just how… how elegant it all looked. The way the doors seemed to open like they were gliding on ice, the way the lights blended seamlessly into the ceiling and walls, heck, even the occasional service panel seemed to hang on the walls like a piece of fine art. This was a nice ship! And she wasn’t just saying that just because she’d started to get used to Simmo’s scrappy ‘Junk Lego.’

It was aggravating how nice this ship felt as she took in the sights while they were led through the maze of corridors. Partly because she wanted to stop and admire, mostly because she couldn’t due to the fact that she was handcuffed and being led by armed guards.

Just before they’d been escorted from Simmo’s ship, Jebannuck had told them to remain calm. No matter what, remain calm. She and Mike were not individually allied with the Galactic Confederation. At the very least, their status as civilians should insure certain levels of care.

That's what he'd said. As Wenona and the others were marched through corridor after gorgeous corridor, she felt like staying calm might actually be feasible. Except for the fact that the only reason they were aboard this masterpiece of engineering was because they’d basically been brought here by gunpoint.

Oh yeah. No that really takes the “fun” and “calm” out of things.

To be honest though, this was probably the best “prisoner” treatment she’d received so far. Not that that was hard to do. The guards, who looked like large featherless birds, ushered them along with calm, emotionless expressions on their narrow yellow faces. Their eyes, which to Wenona looked a little too large for their heads, mostly stayed locked straight ahead, though Wenona noticed a few would occasionally shoot a glance at her or Mike.

Fantastic, we’re celebrities all over again. Better that than test subjects. She turned her head just enough to be able to look back at Simmo in the corner of her eye. The guards on her side caught the motion and nudged her forward. She would have growled at them, had it not been for the fact that they were carrying blasters. Best not risk it. Not yet. Instead, she gave them the meanest glare she could muster and kept walking. It didn’t take much longer to arrive at their destination.

Well it wasn’t the bridge, or at least it didn’t look anything like any bridge she’d been in lately (and she’d been on a surprising amount of bridges in the space of really not that many months). Instead, it looked more like a throne room? Do aliens have throne rooms? They must, there was a giant chair. On top of that sat a very important-looking alien.

Unlike the guards, this alien was covered in regal-looking orange and red feathers. They were dressed in a long elegant-looking sash that draped down to the floor. A few large feathers on the end of its tail and near the back of its head were tipped with purple. It’s body shape vaguely resembled a sloth with a long sweeping tail, though the shape of its body was where the similarities ended. It was not cute. It was not slow. It had a slight predatory look to it. Definitely not a sloth.

The guards stopped about three quarters of the way into the room and dipped their heads.

“Sir, the crew of the trespassing ship, as you ordered.” Four of the guards bowed and tipped their heads up before retreating back to the door they’d all just come through. What the heck was that? Some sort of salute? Weird. She turned her head back to look at the alien that apparently had been the one to summon them all here.

It leaned forward in its throne. Its massive eyes were a piercing yellow that matched the gold of its crown. Wenona stared those eyes down, refusing to look down or away. If this creep wanted to intimidate her, it was going to have to do better than a staring contest!

Then it started to laugh.

Or at least it sounded like it could be laughter. It reared its head back and it was making hacking and clicking noises, so either it was laughing it having a coughing fit.

“Humans! By all things bright and shining, you were the last beings I was expecting to find out here.”

Wenona looked over to Mike, who looked like he had the same confused expression she had.

“My, my,” the feathered alien continued. It’s voice was deeper than she expected. It echoed around the throne room and felt… warm. “I knew your people were space-faring, but this is quite a distance from your home world. Earth, isn’t it?”

It took a few moments before Wenona realized the alien was actually waiting for an answer. “Uh, yes. Earth,” she nodded.

“Excellent,” the alien stood, never breaking its stare as it took a few steps toward them. Wenona shuffled uneasily at its approach. It didn’t seem to be noticed. “My name is Fleet Commander Rozar.” He slowly continued walking closer, seemingly enthralled by his new guests as he was able to get a better look at their disheveled appearance and still-not-quite-healed wounds. “You look like you’ve quite a story or two to tell.”

Wenona continued to stare silently at him. She felt she should say something, but no words came to mind. Not that she really had any desire to say anything anyway.

Mike finally broke the uncomfortable silence. “Well, I guess that’s one way of putting it. We’ve definitely had a long couple of months, or partecs, or whatever it is that you guys use to tell time.” Rozar’s stare shifted slightly to Mike. “It’s been a lot of time, is... what I’m saying. Since we were home.”

The Fleet Commander nodded slowly before turning sharply to a guard waiting behind him. The guard, a gray-ish hulking figure with skin the texture of tree bark, stood at attention as Commander Rozar began gesturing to him in some sort of sign language. The gray figure gave the same weird salute as the other guards and marched out of the room.

Wenona and Mike shared a worried look before glaning back at Jeb. The sefra showed no emotion on his streaked gray face, but nodded to Wenona as the Commander turned back to them, mouthing the words, ‘say it.’

“Commander Rozar,” the gold eyes locked on to her again. Stick with the plan, stick with the plan. Wenona took a deep breath before continuing, “My name is Wenona Peters, this is Mike Rockwell. Whatever you and the Galactic Confederation have between you, we are not a part of it. We’re civilians in all this.”

The corners of Commander Rozar’s mouth twitched upwards as he focused on the four of them, ending up on Jebannuck. “Smart, sefra, very clever. Am I supposed to fall for that? I do hope you aren’t underestimating the Empire. We are not as ignorant of your affairs as the Confederation would like to believe. You’ve blocked us for decapartecs - from trade with the Synx System, from the calciar and trubinian mines, from expansion to the Outer Coun Sector,” Rozar’s tone remained dangerously calm and even, but Wenona noticed his feathers on his neck were starting to ruffle a bit. “You kept us blocked us from Earth, made sure you were the only option of allies for the humans to make after what you saw what they did to the Kahsk fleet.”

Wenona caught Mike’s head jerk to look back at Jebanuck. The Kahsks. That had been what had started all this mess. Their invasion, their failed invasion had been years ago. Their technology, reverse engineered and altered by NASA, Near Star, Boeing, and many private companies were what had finally sent humanity into the stars. What did the Burnti Empire know about the Kahsks? And more importantly, what did it have to do with her and Mike now?

Commander Rozar saw the confused looks of the humans and paused his rant to turn back to them. “Oh yes, we know about Earth’s alliance with the Galactic Confederation, as misguided and uninformed a decision as it was,” he jeered back at Jebannuck, who looked like his tough, expressionless facade was starting to crack. Wenona wasn’t sure if the trembling she saw was from anger or from his wounds that were not completely healed. “Perhaps,” Rozar continued, “we can still do something about that.”

With a quick nod from Commander Rozar, several of the yellow guards that had escorted them before rushed up and surrounded Jebannuck. He gave a grunt as the guards began moving him toward a door on the side of the room.

“Jeb!” Mike yelled. He started towards him but was stopped by the guard next to him.

“Bring him back!” Wenona dodged her own guard and slapped away the reach of another. She grabbed one of the guards pulling Jeb away and threw them to the floor. Her own guards caught up and pulled her back. She kicked the legs out from under one and elbowed the other in the face. It screeched in pain and was about to retaliate when Mike appeared seemingly out of nowhere and punched it in the gut.

Another guard grabbed Mike’s bad arm and twisted it behind his back, pushing him to the ground. He yelled in pain, but the guard did not let up as he pinned him down. Two more guards tackled Wenona. Using her own move from before, they kicked her legs out from under her and held her arms tightly at an awkward angle against her back. Blasters were now out and hummed quietly as they charged up.

In all this, Commander Rozar didn’t move. He hardly seemed fazed.

“Fascinating,” he drawed out each syllable. The three guards they had downed groaned and struggled to get back kup. “For being just ‘civilians in all this,’ you both seem to be eager to protect a Confederation officer.” In the corner of her eye, Wenona noticed Simmo, still standing where they’d all been brought in. There were no guards around her. Perfect! She could get them out of this! She could- but she didn’t move. She just stood there, staring at the spectacle, still as a statue.

“Simmo!” The montauk focused on her, but still made no move to help. Any more words she had died on her lips. She… no. Her stomach fell. What was she thinking? Why should Simmo help? Their alliance was one of forced circumstances, and the circumstances had changed.

“Apparently I still have much to read up on about on how humans form bonds,” Commander Rozar chuckled to himself. “How very interesting.” His feathered tail swept side to side smugly behind him. “I must warn against such behavior in the future. You’ll quickly find out escaping here won’t be so easy as overtaking a small Montauk smuggler’s ship.” Wenona’s breath caught as she stared at the Burnti Fleet Commander. Her mind didn’t seem to completely grasp what she’d just heard. Did he just-? How did he know? What?!

“Don’t fret, Human Wenona Peters, Human Mike Rockwell. As it currently stands, you and your little friends are my guests.” With a nod, the guards hauled them both back up to their feet, though they didn’t let go of their holds on their arms. “As guests, I expect a certain level of civility and decorum. Further… outbreaks… in behavior would not be recommended.”

Next Chapter

#humans are weird #humans are space orcs #abduction #aliens #space #wenona #jebannuck #simmo #mike #burnti #ess gladius #original writing #humans #writeblr

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inknerd · 5 years ago

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May Wrap-Up 2019

I’ve had so much to do this month; reading wasn’t really my first priority^^ Still, the last week I took the time to catch up to reading, and I read a lot of books I’ve wanted to read for awhile, and I feel like I’ve read a variety of books from ya to poetry to nonfiction, so that’s fun!

POETER TÄNDER BARA LAMPOR by EMILY DICKINSON (translation by ANN-MARIE VINDE) ★★★☆☆

| 130 pages | 3 weeks to read | Published 2017

So this is a collection of some of Dickinson’s poetry, who I haven’t read anything of so this was fairly exciting! It had both the English version and the Swedish translation together with notes from the translator, and so it took me awhile to read... + The more I read the more I liked it? I’m very happy the Swedish translation was available, because sometimes I just didn’t get what Dickinson was writing until I read it in Swedish and then reread the English one again. - With that said, I don’t think I will read any more of Dickinson soon. It was good but not really my kind of poetry.

DISORDER IN COURT: GREAT FRACTURED MOMENTS IN COURTROOM HISTORY by CHARLES M. SEVILLA ★★☆☆☆ | 256 pages | 1 day to read | Published 1992

You might have seen the funny tumblr post about this one. I did, was intruiged but waited to buy it until my friend told me she planned to study law. I saw the opportunity, bought it, read it, and then gifted it to my friend. + So some of these stories were hilarious, and it just shows how silly humans are even in serious situations like being in court for a crime. - Unfortunately, I didn’t find it as funny as I thought I would? Some things flew over my head because lawyer lingo/a bit more complicated English, sometimes it took some time before I got the joke and then it’s not as funny, y’know? Also, some of the jokes were quite dated.

A VERY LARGE EXPANSE OF SEA by TAHEREH MAFI ★★★★★ | 310 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

So I was excited for this one, and then people seemed to have mixed opinions on it (not disliking it, just not loving it as much as they’d expected to) so I waited until it came to my local library and then finally started reading it. And I LOVED IT! + PEAK ROMANCE! The main relationship is so cute and heart-wrenching, I wasn’t annoyed at Shirin’s family which is usually the case for me with more contemporary/romance-styled novels. This book had an important story to tell and it succeded in my opinion. - Idk, can’t come up with something totally obvious but I’d hoped for a more closed ending rather than the more open one I got.

CHILDREN OF BLOOD AND BONE by TOMI ADEYEMI ★★★☆☆ | 544 pages | +2 weeks to read | Published 2018

So I finally read this book! I’ve been sort of struggling with if I should give this three or four stars but in the end... *sweat drop emoji* I feel like I might have hyped this up a bit too much in my head. But in the end it was an enjoyable read and the reason it took my a while to read it was because I was busy, not necessarily that I found it boring. + i loved the worldbuilding, the magic system was interesting and it was explained in a way that didn’t feel forced. - The romance was...not overly good and the ending was...meh. And while the worldbuilding and so on made the story more spectacular the general plot was nothing special.

AVENGERS: DESTINY ARRIVES by LIZA PALMER ★★★☆☆ | 304 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2019

So this is basically Avengers: Infinity War in bookform, and I ordered because I wanted to read it before Endgame came out. Sadly! It showed up on the day of the premiere and I just skimmed through it the first time. Now I read it more carefully and, yeah, it was basically what I expected. + So most of it was just like in the movie, but the artistic take Palmer did on the characters thoughts and emotions during the battle was very interesting to read! And the illustrations were very nice too! - I can’t confirm this without checking the movie (and I don’t have the time) but some small things I remember being slightly different. Just small things, but considering it’s a book of a movie I feel justified in being somewhat picky.

CAPTAIN MARVEL: HIGHER, FURTHER, FASTER by LIZA PALMER ★★★★☆ | 246 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2019

Bought this at the same time as Destiny Arrives, because the cover just looked so pretty and the premise looked cool! + This was a surprisingly refreshing read. Some of the things Palmer came up with herself in Infinity War really resonated with me, and here she has the chance to come up with things on her own without being restrained by a movie (this book happens way before the movie Captain Marvel). It felt like this book had some important things to say. - I wished this book stretched longer, if so only to touch more on the story of Carol becoming Captain Marvel - but at the same time I was fine with how the book ended.

THE PRINCESS SAVES HERSELF IN THIS ONE by AMANDA LOVELACE ★★★★☆ | 156 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2016

This was a reread for me! I’ve worked with poetry together with my students this past month and I was motivated to read this again after seeing that the third collection in this series came out not too long ago. I reread this mainly because I wanted to see if my feelings on it had changed, and was pleased to see that they hadn’t! It’s still an interesting read.

I plan to reread the second one as well before I buy the third one!

THE TRAVELLING CAT CHRONICLES by HIRO ARIKAWA ★★★★☆ | 256 pages | 5 days to read | Published 2012

+ This is one of those books were you know what will happen, yet it still carries enough emotional impact that you cry when it ends. Reading from a cat’s perspective was very interesting and overall, this was such a nice read!

KVINNOR I KAMP: 150 ÅRS KAMP FÖR FRIHET, JÄMLIKHET OCH SYSTERSKAP by MARTA BREEN & JENNY JORDAHL ★★★★☆ | 119 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

This is a graphic novel depicting some of the history of the women’s rights movement. + The art was nice and they choose to include not only stories from Sweden and the west but also other parts of the world, which was great.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING by WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ★★★☆☆ | 175 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2011/1598

My reading of Shakespeare’s plays continue! I remember watching the movie from ‘93 with Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh in class and really liking it! So when it came to choose the next play this is one I really wanted to read. + Beatrice and Benedick is so funny and charming, this made me want to rewatch the movie! - Outside of Beatrice and Benedick it was a pretty classic, background Shakespearian story going on, that was interesting but not as much as forementioned.

CRAZY RICH ASIANS by KEVIN KWAN ★★★☆☆ | 467 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2013

Finally read this! I wanted to see the movie since I’d heard so many good things about it, but it turned out netflix didn’t have it... I might watch it some other time, though! + I really flew through this. The descriptions of the luxury all around the characters was so much fun to read and the story had so many colourful characters to cling to. I might continue on with this series! - Despite getting through this very quickly, there were definitely parts full of information that I wasn’t interested in reading. I also expected this to be way funnier than it was. For some reason I was under the impression this was a sort of romance-comedy but while some things were funny (or, absurd?) it didn’t really meet my expectations. Some things about the romance parts didn’t click with me, either.

THE POET X by ELIZABETH ACEVEDO ★★★★☆ | 361 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

+ I liked that it was written in verse and I liked the story in itself... I don’t know what more to say.

TIGER LILY by JODI LYNN ANDERSON ★★☆☆☆ | 292 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2012

I’d heard shifting opinions on this one, but decided the premise sounded too interesting to not give a chance. I liked this book well enough, by the end, but it was far from a new favourite. + and - The reasons I liked it was also the reasons I disliked it. I liked some characterisations or aspects of them, and disliked some of them. I found the mix between Neverland and the real world somewhat confusing and wished the author would’ve either sticked more the original story or less, if that makes any sense. As far as Peter Pan-retellings go, I think this was interesting, still.

VIPER by BEX HOGAN ★★☆☆☆ | 400 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2019

This was is a brand new ya fantasy trilogy that I probably won’t continue reading... + While the first half of the book was pretty boring and predictable the second half was way better. I liked the main character the best in the middle of the book, same with the romance. - As mentioned, the start of the book was pretty lackluster. The main character seemed pretty meek considering the circumstances, the romance was bleh and the plot unoriginal. This book had several things that I’ve seen before over and over again and it didn’t work too hard on making them seem different than normal. Overall this story lacked any real depth.

#books #julia reads #reading wrap-up #reading wrap-up: may 2019 #book recommendations #book recs #book reviews #ya #booklr #my post

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twinkiplier · 7 years ago

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AntiSepticEye Edit Tutorial (PhotoShop)

I’m sure a lot of you out there need some help making Anti edits, or just never knew where to start, or just want to know how other people do it. I like to think I’m pretty handy with PhotoShop, so I made up a little guide for y’all.

There’s also a tutorial on coloring eyes at the bottom!

Step One: Find your image.

Yeah, I know, we’re starting here. Bleh. But it’s really important that you get the right resolution for a picture, okay? So I’m just gonna make sure you get it.

When you search for your image, make sure you’re using the tools and that you’re searching for a fairly large image. Larger than 2MP is the best option, but sometimes doesn’t have what you’re looking for.

When you find the image you’re looking for, hold on - it might not be the biggest size you can find. Make sure you Search by image first.

This should pop up underneath the search bar of the new page. Click on All sizes, it’ll take you to another page with just that image.

Clicking on the first usually brings up the biggest one, but sometimes they’re of bad resolution and you have to click through. If it takes a second to load, chances are it’s nice and big. But wait! Don’t just click and drag.

Make sure you View image to get the highest resolution! It’ll open in a new tab.

You’ll need to right click and Save image as…. This will allow you to save to the desktop, or whatever work folder you’re using. Hooray! Now you have the best possible image to use for this.

Step Two: Prepare the image.

Okay, so you have it now. You need to get it into PS. But before you open a new canvas, hang on.

OPEN. Yes. I’m literally showing you how to open a document. Deal with it.

Now that you have it open, it’s best to crop it to whatever size you want. Just so it’s easier to work with.

It was pretty okay as-is, I just wanted it a little more tight around the shoulders.

Now, duplicate your layer. You can do this by pressing Cmd-J or Ctrl-J.

On this layer, we’re going to adjust the levels (Cmd-L or Ctrl-L). If you don’t know how to do that, just bring the black and white arrows in closer to eachother with preview on. It’ll look right eventually.

Step Three: Basic Overlay.

Start by making a new layer. Simple.

Pick a shade of green. Make it bright, but not infinitely saturated to oblivion. I picked this lovely shade, but it doesn’t really matter in my opinion.

On your new layer, fill in the whole canvas with your green. Ta-da.

In order to actually see Jack under it, you’ll have to change the layer style to “Color.”

It’s still way too bright and saturated, so we’ll need to dull it down a bit by lowering the opacity to... about 50% in most cases.

There, that looks better.

So now, with the color layer still selected, let’s mess around with the Hue/Saturation menu a little bit (Ctrl-U or Cmnd-U) with preview on until it looks good. I settled on this, which was -15 Hue and -45 Saturation.

Step 3.5 (Optional): Using Filter Gallery.

This part is completely optional, but it allows for much more playing around - if you are using a program similar to PhotoShop but don’t have the actual thing itself, such as Gimp, you can skip this step.

So now, we need to make another copy of Layer 1, and place it overtop of the green layer for the moment.

On this layer, we’re going to open up the Filter Gallery so we can mess around with it.

For Anti, one of the best filters is Film Grain. Crank that up to max and you have yourself something pretty cool. Messing around in these can take up hours of time just seeing what horrific creations you can make, but don’t take too long or you’ll forget what you’re doing.

Especially when you discover this button.

Now, what I’ve done is added some maxed-out Rough Pastels overtop of the film grain, giving it a sketched and blurry look.

After bringing that in, I decided I wanted it offset to be more noticeable - but there’s a gap.

So I copied that layer and left it in place, tuning them down to 25%.

There’s still a gap.

To get rid of it, I just select that gap and place a layer mask on the second effect layer.

There’s a bit of a glitch on the edge, but who cares - it’s Anti.

So now, I’m gonna move the green to the top, so it affects everything.

Much better. It kinda looks like a watercolor painting.

Step Five: Adding Glitches.

Now, if you’ve looked over Robin’s edits of Anti, you know his glitches are somewhat subtle and more auditory than anything.

Making sure to use the Add to selection tool, select some bars over the entirety of the image. Just three or four.

Make sure to avoid areas like the eyes and face aside from a few small bars. Now, all we need to do is invert selection (Ctrl-I or Cmnd-I) add a layer mask to the green layer.

Good, that lets a few more normal parts peek through.

Now duplicate that layer, we’re going to do something cool with it.

Turn that entire layer into static, the easiest way is to use Filter Gallery but you can also just tint an image of static green.

Now it’s starting to get a bit more of an Anti feel to it.

I switched the static’s layer style to Hue just so it would pop more, and look just a bit less flat.

Now, because of the hair problem, what I did was chop the layer in half. Turning the top one back into Color and leaving the bottom part in Hue.

Yeah, doing stuff like this requires a lot of layers. It makes things easier to tweak in the long run, especially if you did something wrong in an early step.

If you’ll notice, Anti has a bit of a glow around him sometimes. To replicate that, we need to select Jack - but not just any old way, no. This is the only time I’ll recommend use of this, but we’re using the magnetic lasso tool. Copy the layer of Jack, and do this on the copy.

Just draw around him, it doesn’t have to be perfect and if it looks choppy or messy, good.

Now, select and mask.

Crank up not only the Edge Detection and Smart Radius, but also Shift Edge. That gives it that weird, off look. Use this selection to create a layer mask.

Now comes the glow. Double-click on the layer and you’ll be brought to this menu, where you can add an outer glow.

Mess around with it while you have preview on, just have a little fun. The jankier, the better. If you want to use Divide, make sure the color you’re using is the exact opposite of the color you want it to come out as.

When you’re done, make sure you put the full green layer all the way on the bottom.

Now, all the way at the very top, we’re going to add an adjustment layer for Hue/Saturation.

Adding +50 makes the whole thing just a bit more saturated, which gives it an Anti vibe.

You don’t want to oversaturate the bits of Jack, though, so make sure you add that same layer mask to keep it inside the Anti part.

Step Six: The Eyes.

It’s coming along pretty well, I’d say. You can stop here, or keep going, make tweaks and add more glitches. It’s up to you, really. Have fun with it. However, if you want to know how to do the eyes, well then. I’m absolutely here to teach you.

First, we need to get real up close and personal. Turn off all the layers except the bottom one, and duplicate that. This is what we’re working with.

You can use the lasso tool first to get a rough approximation of the eyes, then make a layer mask around that, but you need to use the brush tool to refine the layer mask by hand until it’s only the eye.

When the other one’s done, you should have something horrific staring back at you. :)

Now, the first thing we’re going to do is oversaturate the eyes. That’ll make them pop even more.

Turn on the layer beneath it, and you can see it’s just a subtle change but it’s crucial.

Once you turn the other layers back on, though, it’s like we’ve done nothing at all.

So, to fix this, we just move the layer up.

I actually oversaturated them again after that, and it’s such a small difference but it really stands out. Now, if you want to make black demon eyes, it’s really simple.

Just make another duplicate of your base layer, add the eyes layer mask, and then turn down the levels almost all the way until you’re satisfied. Make sure they still shine a little! That’s what makes them look good, and not just painted black.

See? Now we’re really getting somewhere. The last thing is, of course, the Septic Eye. on a new, blank layer, set your brush’s flow and opacity down to 20-30%, and color in the sclera green and the iris a much brighter blue.

It might be a little rough around the edges, so don’t be afraid of using a soft eraser to touch it up.

Don’t worry if it looks bad up close, either. No one can tell from a distance.

Now, just turn all the other layers on, and voila. Pretty neat, huh?

Here’s the full, finished image. I had a lot of fun making this! Might make a Darkiplier tutorial too, if y’all want that. Let me know if there’s anything you’d like to know how to do, I’d love to help out.

#jacksepticeye #antisepticeye #septicart #photoshop #tutorial #edit #my edit #artorsomeshitididat3amwhilebeingstalkedbyantisepticeye

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fae-fucker · 7 years ago

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hey! from one writer to another, i'd like to ask some advice you may or may not be able to give. ive finally found the courage to post some writing (although i am not at all overwhelmingly proud of it. anyway)... What advice would u possibly give a writer who's feeling like their work is Eh, at best, and Bleh at worst? have you ever had like, tons of projects and you just werent sure what to focus on, what to pour all of your heart into?? have you ever just... not felt passionate? im stuck! @~@

Bruh I struggle with this every day.

(Also this is my book blog and I have a writing blog over here where I sometimes respond to people asking for tips and mostly post about personal projects.)

I’m gonna try to give you advice, but seeing as I’m really in no place to give any, feel free to ignore everything I say.

What advice would u possibly give a writer who’s feeling like their work is Eh, at best, and Bleh at worst?

Read some terrible, terrible books. This might sound and look petty, and who cares if it is, but this honestly helps me a lot.

No matter how good you are, there will always be someone out there who’s better. But. This also means that no matter how bad you are, there will always be someone out there who’s worse. Look for good books when you need #goals and inspiration. Look for bad books when you need to feel good about yourself and educate yourself on what not to do.

People say “don’t compare yourself to others”, but we all do it anyway, so you might as well get something useful out of it.

Writing is art, and art is subjective. Some books that are critically acclaimed and loved by fans I think are pure and utter garbage. Some books that people consider to be bad I think are amazing. That applies to your writing as well.

As for how to feel good about your own writing, regardless of what others think:

I think it’s one of those fundamental artist things that you can’t really avoid. If you think your art is amazing, you won’t improve, so self-criticism is good.

But on the other hand, feeling like everything you make is crap can kill your need to create as well as any outside criticism can. You have to find a middle ground where you feel like you can do better, bu what you have isn’t terrible either.

I don’t have tips on how to find this mysterious balance, sadly. I struggle with it myself.

What helps me when I feel terrible about my writing is having a few friends read it and tell you what they feel. It might not be the most nuanced and honest criticism, but that tiny bit of encouragement can go a long way and give you enough positive reinforcement to continue writing.

have you ever had like, tons of projects and you just werent sure what to focus on, what to pour all of your heart into??

Absolutely! I used to have this a lot back in the day, where I’d have dozens of ongoing and inevitably abandoned projects clogging up my brain.

I don’t have this problem quite as much anymore, because I’ve developed this technique that kills off any ideas that don’t hold my interest enough to become a good project I feel passionate about, kinda like natural selection (except not at all, I don’t know science).

I don’t know if this will work for anybody else (in fact, it definitely won’t, because some people need to actively and purposefully keep working on ideas to like them more), but I used to be a chronic plot bunny chaser and now I’m a skilled sniper, killing only the juciest prey.

Basically, when you get a new idea: Don’t start writing it.

Just don’t. Write down the basic concept if you don’t want to forget it (I do this all the time), but don’t start writing the story. Let it sit there in your head, let it stew in your brain juice. We tend to get attached and excited about new ideas becaue they’re … new and exciting, duh. But once they become “old” and boring, we give up and go look for something else that interests us.

This basically does that for you without you having to waste time writing it and feeling disappointed later. If you notice yourself thinking less and less of your idea, then it’s not something that would’ve held your attention for long anyway. If you notice one idea coming back to you over and over and over and you just can’t stop thinking about it: that’s the one. That’s the golden nug.

Once you find it you’ll know that this is the one you want to spend time with. Write a couple of chapters, see where how you feel about it, but try not to figure it out all at once, because then it’ll become boring again and you’ll lose interest.

This process usually takes months for me. It’s long, but it pays off in the end. My new idea has taken me that much to cement itself, and I still don’t know everything, but I know enough to know that I want to find out more about it.

Find a thing that interests you a lot and you know you’d love to explore, but leave yourself some room for development and discovery so you don’t get bored.

You want a project to pour all of your heart into, but how many hearts do you have? Just one, presumably. This is gonna sound cheesy, but logically, you can’t pour all of your heart into every project you have, at least not all at once.

This is just my #deep way of saying that focusing on a few projects can help make them better. You want to make one or two things that are amazing instead of seven that are meh, right?

Pick one or two or even three, and alternate between those when one of them gets boring. It’s ok to let things rest and let yourself miss the project and rediscover your love for it.

have you ever just… not felt passionate?

Yep! With my #brainweirds, I feel passionate once in a blood moon.

What keeps me going?

I have no idea. I have a story and I want to share it. These characters torment me every day and I want them to torment someone else for a change.

What keeps my motivation going is also the fact that there are people out there actually waiting for me to finish my book so they can read it. Find someone like that, it’s actually not super hard becaue the interner is a perfect place to find people who like stuff that you like. You only need a couple of cheerleaders to get yourself back on track.

And it’s ok to take a break. You don’t have to feel passionate all the time, and you definitely won’t even if you tried to. Do small projects. Do a low-effort fanfic. Or don’t do anything at all!

But you’re asking what to do to feel passionate and how to keep going, and I honestly don’t know the secret to that, even though I’ve seemingly unlocked it.

I think you should just pack your stories full of things you like. Tropes, ideas, concepts, worlds, characters. Fill this thing with things you love and want to see more of, and you’ll notice how it pulls you back in because you just like it so much and you want to see it come true and share it with others.

I have shamelessly made a post with all my personal tropes and it’s silly, but it’s what I write and what I gravitate towards, and I have a bunch of people interested in my work already. Not because I’m awesome, but because one will always find an audience, and if you love something a lot, there will be someone out there who will love it too. No matter how “eh” or “bleh” you think it is.

I hope this helped! Good luck!

#poti0nseller #writing advice #long post

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monotype-on-phantom · 7 years ago

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Another Analysis of Danny? Yeah, I Guess So.

Not too long ago, I stated that I headcanon the entire Fenton family as neurodivergent. This led to quite a bit of discussion, and eventually I said that I specifically think Danny has clinical depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

I didn’t really go into more detail, because while those are all things I myself suffer from, I want to tread carefully when talking about things like this. The last thing I’d want to do is accidentally say something hurtful.

However, multiple followers expressed interest in me going into more detail about why I have these headcanons. Since these are all things I actually struggle with, they reasoned that my personal experience would help me address this with tact.

So, alright. I’m giving in.

As a disclaimer, I’m not a psychologist and I don’t have a ton of knowledge about psychology. I’m just a dude who likes seeing himself in characters he relates to. This is going to be more based on my own personal experience than anything else.

Now that you know all that, let’s finally get into it.

To keep things organized, I’ll just go through each one individually. A lot of symptoms of these mental illnesses can overlap, so this will keep things from getting messy.

Since the depression was the first one I picked up on, let’s start with that.

Clinical Depression

My Brother’s Keeper is a good one to address this. Granted, Spectra’s MO is making people feel miserable, but she does that by picking at struggles the kids are already dealing with, not by necessarily causing those struggles (though she’s willing to do that, too).

I’ve heard depression described by others who have it as “the emotional equivalent of watching paint dry,” and I don’t think there’s a better description for it in the world.

Depression is way more than just being sad all the time. More often than not, I find it’s just a feeling of emptiness and hopelessness. When I’m in a bad depressive episode, I just stop feeling like things matter. Everything sucks and it’s not getting better, so what’s the point in trying?

Danny shows a lot of the symptoms that come with this feeling of hopelessness. He doesn’t eat or sleep very well. His energy levels are usually very low. He doesn’t have as much motivation to do things that he enjoys. He fixates on his failures and past mistakes and blames himself for most things that go wrong in his life. He has a harder time focusing on things, particularly in class. He can be forgetful and not notice details that might seem obvious.

A lot of these things are caused by his ghost hunting, but since Danny has made it clear that he doesn’t enjoy it, and every time he tries to take some time to himself it backfires, it makes perfect sense for him to feel trapped and hopeless.

Ghost fighting is one of the causes for his depression, not a replacement for it.

I’ve also mentioned that Danny is a really angry child, and anger can be a symptom of depression. When you’re feeling down all the time, you can become more irritable. Things bother you more. You lash out more. Even small things can get to you.

My Brother’s Keeper is, again, a good example of this. Danny’s lashing out at Jazz a lot, and even his friends notice that he’s taking things more seriously than usual. This is far from being exclusive to this episode, though. The Fright Before Christmas and Life Lessons both show Danny being irritable and frustrated, even though he usually still means well enough.

Danny even lashes out at Dash sometimes, someone that he’s afraid of, because he’s just too tired to deal with his crap.

Danny’s irritability was actually one of the biggest clues for me that he has depression, coupled with his tendency to degrade or blame himself.

As someone who deals with this, let me tell you, depression is exhausting. Even though I’m usually not doing much, the empty feeling alone zaps me of my energy. A lot of the time, I just want to sleep through my days and not bother with anything. I’m not allowed to, though, so I can get irritable.

Even if you don’t have depression, you’re probably familiar with this feeling. When you’re kept up late at night or you’ve had a rough day at work, you’ll feel exhausted, and that results in you getting annoyed more easily. Small things like people leaving the toilet seat up or the kids being noisy or people repeatedly knocking on the door will drive you crazy, when they’re usually not that big of a deal. You’re tired, and you don’t want to deal with even these small annoyances. You just want to be left alone.

It’s worth noting that Tucker, Sam, and Jazz don’t have these struggles, despite also being moody teens with a lot of pressure on them. They have bad days, but they’re usually more chipper than Danny (yes, even Sam.)

To me, Danny is a textbook example of a depressed teen. It’s not even a question. This kid needs to talk to someone. Unfortunately, he’s not looking to do that any time soon.

Anxiety

There are a huge number of anxiety disorders, and I’m still not the best at differentiating between them. I don’t often feel the need to pinpoint exactly what’s causing the anxiety. For me, it’s just when certain things happen (or don’t), the warning bells start ringing in my head and I struggle to focus on anything else. In a lot of ways, it’s like hearing that music in a horror movie right before something scary happens, except nothing ever happens. The music just keeps playing, making you feel more and more worried about what’s coming next.

The anxiety disorders I’m the most familiar with (meaning the ones I struggle with the most) are social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and panic disorder. I don’t feel like I need to cover the first one much, though, because despite being shy and self-conscious, Danny doesn’t really panic when he has to be in social situations. He can be awkward, but he can brush off embarrassment easily enough and he doesn’t have an issue with badmouthing people he dislikes to their faces. These are all things I’d die before doing.

The fact that he can stomach social situations alright doesn’t prevent him from worrying about every other thing that could possibly go wrong, though.

While not as common as Angry Danny, Panic Mode Danny shows up with some regularity.

Public Enemies (and TFM, though I don’t wanna rely on that example) is a good episode to demonstrate this.

The town’s on high alert and ghosts are everywhere, but just about everyone is handling the situation better than Danny. His paranoia is warranted, but he can’t bring himself to focus on anything except for what could go wrong. He overthinks all the details and worries excessively about all of them.

Danny’s parents are at his school. Ghosts keep showing up at the worst times. Danny doesn’t even know that Walker’s behind everything or what he’s up to, but he’s not in the right state of mind to think about that. This isn’t Detective Danny Time, this is Worry Time. And it prevents him from being as productive as he could be.

One of A Kind is another good example, where Danny’s so worried about Skulker that he can’t even eat, though Sam and Tucker are trying to encourage him to. It’s not like the eating itself is dangerous (as far as he knows), but he’s too busy worrying to even think about eating.

He’ll also worry about things that wouldn’t actually turn out as bad as he thinks. He fears his parents dissecting him if they find out his secret, or Valerie not liking him if she finds out, or Vlad being behind every bad thing that happens, even when he’s actually not.

It’s not as pronounced as his depression, but when Danny worries, he worries hard and can even get extremely paranoid. It even starts getting so bad that Danny himself starts questioning if he’s hallucinating in The Fenton Menace, because his constant worrying and paranoia fit that explanation. (And that’s the last time I’m referencing that episode in here. Bleh.)

There’s another disorder that’s classified as a type of anxiety, though, and I don’t think there’s any point in arguing that Danny has that.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

This one’s far less about Danny showing symptoms (though there’s that, too), and more about the fact that no child who goes through the stuff he does would not have PTSD.

The symptoms of PTSD overlap a lot with depression and other anxiety disorders. Things like guilt, negative thoughts, feeling on edge, constantly looking out for danger, and struggling to feel happy or even to trust others are a few symptoms that can overlap with depression and anxiety. The difference is that, with PTSD, these things are triggered by a specific, traumatic event. And that’s where most of my focus is.

Danny’s been shot at by his own parents, hunted, tortured, brainwashed, threatened with experiments and even actually been experimented on (counting the cloning experiments), almost died several times, listened to his parents talk about wanting to dissect him, watched loved ones die (even if they ended up being alright), and that’s not even mentioning some of the other stuff Vlad puts him through or the fact that he was ruthlessly bullied long before any of this happened.

For me, it’s less a matter of if Danny was negatively impacted by all of this and more a matter of how in the world could he not be?

As previously mentioned, a lot of his anxiety and depression is the result of his ghost fighting. He’s paranoid about danger showing up at any time. He’s always trying to stay alert. He barely sleeps or eats. He blames himself when things go wrong. He doesn’t even trust his parents anymore, eventually believing that, if they found out he was half ghost, they’d dissect him without hesitation.

Heck, even the accident that gave him his ghost powers seems to have had a huge effect on him. He’s questioning his own humanity, he’s understandably afraid around a lot of his parents’ technology, he’s paranoid about being found out and not being accepted.

Personally, though, I feel the show should’ve shown more effects. There’s no way he doesn’t have a fear of mental health specialists after what happened with Spectra. Is there anyone who thinks he wouldn’t have nightmares about things that happened in The Ultimate Enemy, Kindred Spirits, and D-Stabilized? How much does he remember from Control Freaks, and how often does he think about it? How much more does he let himself get hurt because he’s terrified of turning into Dan?

In a better show, this stuff would’ve been explored more thoroughly, but as it is, I don’t think there’s any denying that this kid’s been traumatized. Hopefully Jazz can get her psychology degree quickly, because she’s probably the only psychologist Danny would trust, and he needs to talk to one.

And I think that covers things well enough. I did also mention that I think the Fentons all show symptoms of ADHD, but that’s another can of worms entirely. Besides, this post is long enough as it is. I’m pretty sure I’ve been working on this for over two hours straight. I’ll just leave things here for now, and maybe I’ll touch on the ADHD in the future (if people are interested).

Thank you for your patience, everyone! And now I can move on to other things that people may or may not have been waiting for since this blog began.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #cast

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