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colorfullyminded · 3 months ago

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TLDR

Okay I cannot believe I'm about to go off like this, but this has been bothering me for awhile, and it's only making me more spiteful. I have been enjoying the influx of Billford art lately. Amazing, great wonderful. What I have Not been enjoying, is the absolute vitriol the Billdip fans have been getting since the influx of TBOB. I was a billdip shipper for awhile. Hell I was a billdip shipper when I was a Parapines shipper-- I liked shipping Dipper with boys. I was also like 14 or 15 at the time. Obviously, if you follow me now, you'll probably notice what my main ship for Dipper is. I grew out of Billdip, and moved on to Pinescone. I have been shipping Pinescone for 10 years. However, not once did I go around saying "Lol, glad I matured and became a better person and shipped something healthier", nor did I post in the billdip tag, condeming people for a fictional ship! And saying mine was better because it was less problematic.

"I'm really glad people stopped shipping Bill and Dipper together. Bill is a 1000 year old triangle demon, and Dipper is 13--" Stop. Repeat what you just said.

"Bill is 1000 year old triangle--"

Repeat that last word to me. "....triangle?" TRIANGLE! I'm sorry what?! This ship is already completely wild enough. You're getting mad at this fictional age gap-- AND BILL IS A FUCKING SHAPE! A FUCKING SHAPE! This ship was weird from the moment GO! And Billford isn't any better. IT'S STILL A SHIP WITH A FUCKING SHAPE! And you're going to sit on your high horse and look down on the Billdip community. On top of it-- they have an age gap too! Bill is still thousands of years old or whatever-- however long it's been, who knows? And Ford was in his 20s or so when he met Bill. That's still a huge, ridiculous age gap-- that Bill could easily use and manipulate; which he did....and then also caught feelings and became a sad ex, but that's beside the point~ Both of these ships are still insane. And again, the bigger thing I think people are just ignoring about these ships--is that Bill is a TRIANGLE! THREE LINES CONNECTED TOGETHER! And this is the hill you're going to die on? ...Cause apparently it's mine. First of all-- as many people pointed out-- Ford Pines did not exist until the second half of the final season. People couldn't ship Fordbill because there wasn't any Ford to introduce.

"Well, even before Ford, I never shipped Billdip! I always disliked it." ...Okay, that's totally fine. Not everyone needs to like or agree on the same ship. Lord knows there's probably people who don't really care for Pinescone either. There's a lot of popular ships that I can't stand. But I'm don't go into a ship tag I don't like, screaming to a void for self validation. I don't go around mocking other people for ships that they had in 2014-- or even still today! It doesn't matter! I did that when I was a kid-- and then realized that was rude, and it was better to just ignore the ships I didn't like and enjoy the ones that made me happy. And grow a community of kind, like minded friends. And listen, I am all for safe spaces and being able to block things that make you uncomfortable. I am not saying people who find the BillDip ship uncomfortable to be idiots or babies or overly sensitive-- or anything like that. I think if something makes you uncomfortable, that is okay and I think it's perfectly fine to blacklist a tag that you don't want to see. I also think it's imperative that people tag things as accurately as they can so people looking at your work can know if one of your pieces has a thing that they don't like-- and therefore can avoid. What I don't appreciate is the fanhate for this ship that is sprouting up like weeds. You can not like something, you can be disgusted by it (I have my Gravity Falls ships I can not stand, nor do I feel comfortable with), but attacking real people for a FICTIONAL SHIP-- two characters who are drawings on a piece of paper and can not be affected mentally, physically or emotionally by fanwork; who still retain the same shape after everything we put them through-- to the point that you send death threats, or threaten to Doxx, or just harass relentlessly, I have always found that more childish and disgusting. You are causing real world pain to people. Me fucking up Dipper Pines is not going to do anything to him-- because he doesn't actually exist. He's a cartoon character. I could squash him and stretch him in Wonka's taffy machine--- I could throw him mock speed at a wall and watch him explode on impact-- but he still exists. He's not dead; I can pick him up and dust him off, and If I wanted-- I could decide that eh, 'Not a scratch on him'. And I'd be right. Because he is a cartoon character, and I am just a fangirl. I can not change anything about him-- I have no ability to make anything I headcanon canon. And even if I was the original artist-- it doesn't change the fact that Dipper would still be nothing more than a creation. A construct of shapes; he can not be hurt or traumatized in a way that leads to real life consequences-- because he is not real. I am not a cartoon character. My friends are not cartoon characters. Artist and Writers who stay in their lane...are not cartoon characters. If you hurt us...it will linger. It will leave a scar. If you can not tell the difference between Fiction and Reality, then I think maybe media might be too much to handle-- and I think you need to really reevaluate yourself.

And just to vent some other things that i keep seeing that are frustrating: You can't claim the twins are only 13-- and then on August 31st go "Happy 20-something Birthday Mabel and Dipper!" And then proceed to drop a picture of them as adults. Well which is it? Do they age or not? Because Gravity Falls showed them canonically aging. If you think the twins age-- then you can't suddenly turn around and go, 'no you can't ship them-- Dipper is a child!' but you drew him as an adult. So sorry, it looks like you can't draw the twins grown up anymore. You claimed they're 13, so better draw them 13 forever--. Aged up stories and works exist for a reason, especially for a fan who grew up on the series. The characters might have grown up alongside them. It's not unlikely for a person to ship Billdip when Dipper is much older.

And on that note, for people who are like 'well older billdip is fine-- it's just people shipping him during the show that deserve to die.' Okay... and like I said, this rant is coming from a recent influx of Billford shippers spitting on Billdip shippers. You know? The TOXIC Old Man Yaoi!

You're still shipping something that is problematic. You are still shipping something twisted and wrong. And I am not judging you. I am here for this divorced arc. I am thriving. But you can't just pick and choose what is and isn't okay. And let me first off explain; if there is something that personally triggers you about a toxic ship, and you want to avoid that-- again, perfectly understandable. Perfectly reasonable. You are the makers of your content space. And I am not judging anyone for that. I want people to be safe. I want people to have a good time in fandom spaces. I want people to not have to deal with the things that upset them or frighten them, or disgust them. But you can not say one is fine, and one is not. They're both bad! They're both toxic. In real life, these ships would both be charged with serious crimes! And yes, there are some crimes that are worse than others, and if you asked me what I thought was more problematic-- I'd say Billdip-- but both of these ships are extreme, and severe in their problematic content. You are still consuming problematic content. If it's a personal thing, that's fine; avoid it. But don't sit there throwing stones from your glass house.

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vevobly · 1 month ago

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could you write friends to lovers shauna shipman x reader headcanons?? i love how you write her and i think is so accurate!! thank you, hope you have a an amazing day ☺️☺️

Friends to Lovers With Shauna Shipman Headcanons! (Pre-Relationship) [1]

A/N: Thanks, Anon! I always try hard to make sure the stuff I make about them is in line with their canon counterparts, but it can't be helped that some will just be out of character for them anyway. Moving aside from those, this was a bit rushed but I still hope you devour and enjoy it!

You were probably in one of her classes or friends with Jackie. At first, she doesn't really acknowledge your existence—too busy focusing solely on Jackie.

It isn’t until after a party that she and the rest of the Yellowjackets team are invited to that she does begins paying mind to you. What you did wasn't a big thing, to be honest!

You probably just, like, accompanied her for a while and complimented her outfit while she was moping over Jackie leaving her for Jeff again or something.

To your surprise, instead of being told to just leave her alone, Shauna actually lights up and starts talking to you; she thanks you for your compliment before talking about other things.

You guys don't even notice how much time passed with how invested you both were in your conversations with each other before someone from her team came to get her.

From then on, Shauna starts waving at you whenever she sees you around. She starts giving you these small (really cute) shy smiles when you two pass each other through the hallways.

It isn't long until it evolves to you guys striking up a conversation whenever you guys catch the other somewhere. You listen to Shauna, and she feels heard. She feels more seen.

Slowly but surely stuff changes between the two of you as you both get closer to each other. Shauna starts sneaking out of her house at night to meet you after dark, just hanging out with you in her car and talking for hours.

The conversations are just about whatever, school and gossip, the usual. But gradually it goes from that to Shauna spilling a lot of stuff she normally would just never tell anyone and keep to herself.

You guys start glancing at each other a lot, brush hands more often than friends should, and find a TON of excuses just to be physically close to each other.

When you guys are around the team, you both have to play it really cool. I mean, the team knows you two have been getting way too buddy pals with each other, but no one knows more than that.

Tai and Van has this vibe with you two. Natalie has this hunch. Jackie is oblivious to it. Laura Lee, Lottie, Mari, and Akilah feel like something's up with you guys while Misty is just in her own world entirely but she's like Nat too. She suspects something is going on between you guys.

You bet your ass that with how close you've become to Shauna, you get pretty good at reading her especially when she's hiding her emotions. You can tell when something's bothering her, and you're the one she immediately turns to when stuff blows up with Jackie or Jeff's existence pisses her off again.

As Shauna's feelings for you get deeper, she kinda starts pulling away from Jackie. Not just emotionally but also physically. Sure, Jackie is all wrapped up in her relationship with Jeff and her image. But when she starts noticing this? Oh boy, you are toasted. She lowkey starts controlling and preventing Shauna as much as she can from being with you anymore further than she likes.

This doesn't stop Shauna though. In fact, it just makes her spend more time with you. When it's just the two of you, her behavior completely changes. She's relaxed and affectionate (platonically 👀), more free and herself around you.

#yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #shauna shipman x reader #shauna shipman x you

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fawnhunter · 1 year ago

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BFF'S4L

Plug! Connie x Black! Bestfriend Reader [MASTERLIST]

Warnings: Lovey dovey fluff, One mention on a gun, One mention of hitting licks, general discussion of drugs. possibility of loving a man who isn't real.

- Plug! Connie who calls you his best friend in public, but to him, you’re so much more than that. A more accurate word would be his everything, you are his everything. He starts to realize it over time, although slowly, it happens. He realizes that he, for one, does not allow you to pay for things and hasn’t done so in a long time. He always checks on you, he even has ur location on, he be clockin yo ass. He also realized that he enjoys spending time with you even when y’all aren’t doing anything, he just wants you there with him, always. He just doesn't feel right when there's no contact between you guys.

- Plug! Connie who trusts you completely. He tells you about the licks he's about to hit with the boys so you’ll know when he needs to lay low. He puts his glock in ur purse when he decides to bring you along when he’s mobile. He hits ur bank account with his cash flips, he even lets you hold his product when it’s hot. He loves that no one ever questions his innocent best friend who stays out the way. You help him get away with a lot

- Plug! Connie, who calls you when he's swerving niggas late at night, because he’s feeling lonely and is in the mood to listen to your playlist. He picks you up from your home, reaching over the console to open the door for you without even getting out. He stops to get milkshakes and fries for you two because he knows you get the munchies when you ride with him late night. He thinks it's cute when you say hi to some of the people he swerves, like he's not dealing drugs to your friends right now. Just his little passenger princess in her own little world.

- Plug! Connie who would do anything for you. Sometimes you don’t even have to ask. He loves it when you ask him for things, it's his favorite thing ever. He likes to feel like he’s the main person that you come to for things. Whether it be clothes, shoes, money for hair and nails, let him provide for you please, it makes him happy. And don’t even worry about when someone tries to bother or threaten you, he's probably gonna find out before you try and tell him( with all the eyes he has on you) and it’ll be handled by the time you stop crying about it.

- Plug! Connie who’s extremely invested in ur future. Hes the man who will take you to and from all your classes. Finds out information on ur tuition so he can pay for ur classes behind ur back. Buys you everything you may need for your new school year. New laptop? U got it. Those expensive ass art supplies? U got it. U need coding software? Don’t even worry about babe he got you.

- Plug! Connie who's very protective of you in public, he serves a lot of niggas and likes to think he's well known, so he keeps his eyes open and stays attentive when he's out with you, makes you walk on the inside of the street when ur together. Is either pressed against ur side or is holding on to some part of you so he keeps you close to him when y’all are out.

- Plug! Connie who feels conflicted when he takes you to moves with friends because you look so god damn sexy dressed like that, and he can’t help but feel jealous that it's not just for him. He watches you dance and flirt with other men because all he's been to you his whole life is ur best friend. Who gets grumpy when he watches you hand ur phone number out because you’re single, and he can’t argue with that even if he wanted to.

-Plug! Connie, who is entirely in love with you, but can’t bring himself to ruin the only good thing he has going on in his life right now. Because he'd rather have all of this than lose you, ever.

Thanks for reading, place consider hitting my inbox babe!

#connie x you #connie springer #connie x black reader #aot x black reader #black y/n #plug!connie #plug! connie x reader #connie fluff #connie aot #claireblep

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rubra-wav · 8 months ago

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Snap (part 2) - Honesty

Snap (Part 1) - Deception

A/N: Listen man, I wish I could just say that Vox would just accept 'I love you' with his secret situationship he's terrified of losing and just say it back, fluff instantly ensuing, but we all know that would not be accurate at all.

Ow.

Td;lr for this one for the people who don't wanna read the actual smut - reader who's in a secretly mutually requited situationship with him catches Vox looking at them through cameras and decides to 'punish' him for it. In the end, though, the reader ends up accidentally telling them they love him. This fic ensues. Also, flower symbolism <3

Cw: rating 18+ (there's no smut, but it's part 2 of smut, so yeah), Vox is insecure and delulu as hell, reference to staticmoth/toxic/abusive relationship stuff, angsty asf, ref to physical abuse, miscommunication, hella infuriating - we get there eventually though, gn reader

There was one unbending, unspoken rule between the two of you ; that even with how obviously attracted to one another you were, you would never attempt to push it further.

You had your life, and Vox had his. His image being the clearly most important thing to him that trumped whatever you two had.

Even if your attraction to one-another became far more than just physical, you'd never push it further than friends with benefits for fear of it being unrequited and ruining everything the two of you had.

'I love you.' Spoken hazily, without a second thought however, changed that completely.

It broke all of what your relationship was fundamentally built upon; that being hiding your true feelings beyond what was physical for one another.

'I love you', spoken in your bedroom, under the eyes of the wilting red flowers that had now exposed not one but two deceptions, ruined everything you had going.

Or at least, that's what it initially seemed like.

Vox felt his heart go crazy at the words you'd just spoken, him feeling even more over the moon then he already did that you weren't going to kick him to the curb.

But then his heart dropped again as he realised what must have been really happening.

His face burnt with anger as you said those words, him sitting up and pushing you off of him.

"Do not say that to me." He growled out, standing up and moving awkwardly with what had just transpired to go put his clothes back on to go leave.

He'd done this before, and he really thought that this would be different, that his feelings for you wouldn't be played with like his were constantly his in his situationship with Val.

But here you were, telling him you loved him after fucking him and only after fucking just like he did.

How long would it take for you to start starting undesireable fights with him for no reason?

How long would it also take for the security you provided to be ripped away from him?

How long would it take until you moved on to find someone else because he wasn't enough for you.

How long would it take before he's always option 2 whenever that other person you want isn't available? When he's always just the afterthought and nothing more.

Your eyes widened in shock, and a wave of pain and regret washed over you. You didn't see the real reason he was flipping out, just seeing the man you loved telling you not to express that to him. Just saw your worst fears being confirmed.

You didn't have the guts to pry further to find the true root with your own hurt, unable to take his response as anything but bitter rejection of your feelings.

Vox didn't see the way you crumpled, expression fucking ruined behind him as unshed tears made your eyes hazy. "Right.. sorry." You apologised quietly to receive no response but him letting out a sound that expressed clear disappointment as he left your room without another glance towards you.

As Vox reached for the door, though, now out of eyeshot of you, he hesitated for a second. Tears once again formed in his eyes for what's the umpteenth time tonight.

His hand hovered above the doorknob as he considered a different thought process. Maybe you were actually being serious. Maybe this was real.

He grit his teeth, shaking his head and taking the only light in the house with himself as he left with bitter pain in his chest. He would not allow himself to have another Val in his life.

The door shut behind him with a sound that weighed heavy on your shoulders as the house became completely and utterly silent.

You sat with your head between your knees on your bed, feeling a mixture of sadness and anger forming a truly disgusting concoction of emotions inside of you.

You'd discovered he'd been doing this greatly violating thing and had given him a second chance, only for him to walk out on you because you told him you loved him? Of fucking course. It wasn't even surprising at this point. It was Vox.

You shook your head as you laid down on your bed, looking at the ceiling as tears blurred your already shit vision in the darkness, your heart in a million pieces.

Just what had you been expecting exactly? It was clear that the only person he had eyes for was Valentino, even if the piece of shit was a horrible boyfriend through and through. You'd been there many a time after their fights for him only to come crawling right back to the fucker.

Of course, he'd walk out on his side piece telling them they loved him. Your strange situationship with one another was never going to ever be anything but second to his real love; an abusive asshole who didn't love him and only showed up again when he got bored of his other toys.

You blinked into the darkness as you tiredly leaned over to the light on your bedside table, feeling for it and flicking the switch.

It didn't come on as it clicked.

Of course he'd caused the damn lights to break.

You growled in annoyance, turning over onto your side and curling up in a ball.

You'd fallen for such a piece of shit and allowed all that was good with him to slip away in one stupid moment of peace with him after a hell of a lot of pent up anger towards him.

It was stupid, really, that you'd be so upset over what was so obviously going to happen from the get-go.

It still hurt, though. So fucking much.

The next week was hard, to say the very least. In the whole fiasco with punishing Vox, he'd fried your phone as well as your lights so you now didn't have one.

He usually supplied you with new ones when this happened, but obviously, no Vox around meant no new phone.

His lack of effort to attempt to contact you pissed you off frankly. You repeatedly attempted to try and speak with him in person, but you just kept getting told to leave by his staff.

Your relationship wasn't exactly public, and you were sure he'd blow up rather than go silent on you if you told them you were together to try to get him to come out of hiding from you like a little bitch, so you just let bygones be bygones for now.

The man child could come crawling back to you whenever he got sick of whatever (you expected at least) he had going on with Val again, you weren't going to let any of this bullshit slide though even if he came back on his knees beggin for forgiveness. (Something that would, of course, never happen. Vox didn't do apologies. Not real ones at least.)

You were frankly done as fuck with him and his constant unending string of bullshit he refused to take responsibility for.

Your anger just worsened the longer he was absent. You almost wanted the thought that he was done with you this time to be true, despite the stupid fucking part of you that wanted him to come back.

Under all this bullshit and masks he wore; he was so different. You wished you could just be with that part of him, the real parts he hesitated each time to show to you because it was imperfect and a fucking mess. But of course, that would never happen. It was truly a fantasy.

After 6 days of nothing, the first sign of him showed up finally. A letter to your house saying he wanted to see you to 'talk'.

Vox knew damn well he was being completely unfair to you doing this, but he couldn't bring himself to back down and apologise.

He didn't make mistakes.

At least, that's how he liked to act. He'd rather hang onto his bullshit knowing full well it's bullshit until the end of time than ever admit fault.

After the incident, he'd spiralled completely. Privately having an angry breakdown about it, humiliated that he'd let himself fall into yet another Valentino situation.

It was easier to just take it out on you than actually hold himself responsible for shit and do the disgusting, pathetic practice of crawling back to you and apologising.

So even though he knew damn well that either way he was in the wrong, just expecting you had turned out to be another mistake along his path of failed lovers, he went silent on you rather then actually communicating at all. Naturally.

It probably looked to you like he'd run off, not giving a single shit anymore, but that was far as it gets from the truth. It was eating away at him. The rare feeling of genuine regret and guilt for his actions shocked him, and it only grew with each passing day.

He couldn't just let things end like this, he needed some... one last interaction with you before not seeing you again. As much as he had genuine feelings for you, he would not allow what he thought was going on to progress any farther.

As he lay in bed on his back, looking up at his ceiling he heart ached as that stupid goddamn thought entered it again. The idiotic idea that you could be actually telling the truth. He hated how it entered his mind and he had to again and again shoot it down to not fucking kid himself.

You didn't actually love him.

Never in a million years would he actually fall in love with someone and have them feel the exact same.

... right?

He pressed his hands over his eyes as his mandatory 'sleep' mode began to shut him off for the night. Tomorrow he would see you for the last time. Shut down what was happening before it began.

What he thought was happening between the two of you.

You almost didn't want to go and actually see him, funnily enough. You'd been trying desperately to go and talk to him for the past week, and it would feel pretty good to know he got stood up.

Not that it was really much of a place to be stood up.

For some reason Vox had told you to meet up with him in a secluded grassy field fairly in the middle of nowhere. To talk without any risk at all of people hearing, you guessed.

Still, it was weird. This was the type of shit murderers did, not your ultra-rich situationship. Whatever.

You forced yourself to keep walking up the hill despite really not wanting to see him. He was standing at the top facing away from you with his hands in his pockets, his face casting blue light down over the immediate grass before him.

As your crunching footsteps echoed out in the mostly silent clearing, he turned around to look down at you.

For agonising seconds, you two just stood there silently, staring at one another. The sound of distant insects, and the slight breeze passing through the leaves of outstretched tree branches the only sound.

He looked perfect as always, but his expression was unsure, hesitant as he looked at you.

Your heart truly fucking ached terribly, and you hated it. You fought the angry tears that you know would start spilling the probably second you heard his voice.

"What is it then." Your voice was quiet, but your words hung as heavy on his shoulders as it could get.

Vox gulped, clearing the lump in his throat, and slipped on a brave face. "I just wanted to see you one last time. I figured it would be shitty of me to.. break up? Over text." He said casually despite the agonising pit that felt like it was consuming him.

You grit your teeth, emotions swelling and bubbling out in a short, humourless bark of laughter. "So that's how it is, huh?" Your voice was thick with the constricting string of strong emotions bubbling up in your chest. You were pissed, the fact he called you out here just to 'break up' with you face to face was an asshole move even for him, sad that you were being told this bullshit, but also just fucking confused under all of that.

Vox would have just left and rode off into the hills and never would do this if he didn't actually give a fuck, so what the hell was happening?

Vox cringed hearing your tone, expression faltering for just a moment before slipping back on. "... yes?" He said it to sound concise, but it came out a question. He cringed inwardly.

You squinted at him, unshed tears making his bright face in comparison to the night all the more blurry with vectors of light messing with you.

His expression was unsure as could be, he wasn't looking you in the eye, and he was fidgeting with his hands. It's like he was expecting something from you. Something bad?

You briefly thought about how you'd seen him acting when he'd come to you after Val had hurt him and broken his screen after he'd gotten snippy with him.

That's when two things hit you like the worlds biggest truck. Why you were so fucking confused and had some nagging thought eating at you that you couldn't properly grasp up until now.

The first; He fucking clearly had feelings for you as well.

The second; He was expecting you to physically lash out at him. Anticipating some sort of Val level breakdown over you.

What the fuck was happening right now?

He would not have come out here if he didn't care at all, and certain times you thought he may have even felt possibly the same way you had.

So why in the fucking world had he stormed out of your house when you told him you had feelings for him as well?

Vox watched your progression of emotions as you didn't respond for a while with confusion, heart beating quick as his tenseness anticipating some massive blow up from you slowly eased off. Your next question caught him all the more off guard.

"Why did you call me out here to talk face to face to break things off?" You asked, brow furrowed and your expression equally confused, trying to read his intentions. You continued, blinking hard to try to clear your wet eyes so you could actually clearly see. One rolled down your cheek in the process, and Vox looked even more startled by it than the question.

"If you don't love me too, even a little bit, then why would you call me out here to break up with me face to face." You demanded an answer more than asked a question, expression hard.

He looked stunned at you, not believing what he was hearing, sputtering before letting out a strangled response. ".. No, you don't." He said.

You arched a brow at him in confusion. "Wha-" he cut you off.

"You don't love me! That was just some bullshit to play with my emotions after we fucked!" Suddenly Vox was angry as all hell, jumping to another assumption as he walked closer to you, towering over you and furious, the sound of electricity crackling loudly as his system begun to get overwhelmed quickly.

"And no-ow you're trying to convince me to not fucking leave!" Vox turned to side, laughing humorlessly and pressing his palm to his head. "God, I was right. You're just like h-i-im!" His words glitched with his overwhelming anger as he looked to the side at you.

You looked at him as everything fell into place, and suddenly, you were also furious. "Oh for fuck sake, Vox!" You yelled, stepping back. "Has all this shit happened because this whole time, all you've been thinking about is Val?" Angry tears welled up in your eyes, and you gripped his face, forcing him to look you straight in the eye as you spoke.

"I am not lying you insecure dumbass!" Vox's anger faltered as he watched your genuinely furious expression, a mess of tears and painful emotions. Not wanting to back down, however, he went to bite back some vile retort that never made it from his lips as you interrupted him.

"I said I love you then because I actually am in love with you! And I have been for ages at this goddamn point!" You let go off his face as his expression flickers to unsureness.

You press your hands into either side of your head as you look to the ground. "I fucking see you walk back to that asshole time and time again and my heart breaks each time because I actually love you and would treat you right like he doesn't!" Your voice cracks as you yell at him.

You don't see him begin flushing darkly and startled, now sparking in an entirely different way, extremely taken aback as he finally began actually listening to the sound of anything but his own voice.

"If you had just communicated like an adult instead of running off like an immature child, none of this would have happened. Do you understand that? Or are you too busy projecting your unresolved bullshit onto me to see that?" You look him in the eye again, your fury fading into severe emotional exhaustion after the past week.

"I hate that I love someone like you." You growled out through clenched teeth before turning away from the man who was stunned into utter silence outside of the occasional zapping sound, and began to walk away, shoulders hunched and fists clenched as you trembled.

Vox stood in place, staring dumbly at your back as you walked away feeling a nauseating pit of guilt eating him alive. He had no idea what the hell to do.

If anyone else had spoken to him that way he'd be utterly furious, compensating for all hurt going on within him, but even he couldn't project that shit onto you after what was so clearly true was spat at him. The extremely ugly truth of this whole situation.

He'd fucked up so goddamn bad, so bad he couldn't even lie to himself on that like usual.

His heart constricted painfully in his chest as he replayed your words again and again in his mind. 'I hate that I love someone like you.'

His mouth opened and shut as he fought to try find his voice again as he began crying, your silhouette making it hurt all the more the further you got away from him.

I hate that I love someone like you.

It stung like hell. Rightfully.

Someone he could have a genuine relationship with. Not some one-sided bullshit. Not some toxic requited relationship with someone who'd act as a doormat to his behaviour. You were slipping through his fingers with every second further he hesitated.

He forced himself to go after you despite how frozen he was, thoughts running a dizzying mess in his mind.

You turned back to him with an expression that was a conflicting mixture of relief and irritation that he was jogging after you.

The next words felt like agony for him to say, but despite his ego he forced himself. You had begun to do what no one could - actually started to change him. The thought filled him with a mixture of fear, but also sent warmth flooding through his chest.

"I'm sorry." He said as he caught your hand in his. "I'm sorry I-I..." he trailed off, words catching in his throat as embarrassment clearly burned in his expression.

He forced his red eyes to look into your surprised tired ones though, gulping. It caused his glitching to only worsen, but he kept his eyes on yours anyways.

"I'm sorry that I did-n-n't just talk to you. I sh-should have just. I shouldn't have assumed shit. You aren't Val, it's just hard-" He stopped himself, correcting himself. "It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have done that. Yo-ou-ou-ou-" You took a deep breath through your nose and turned around to face him properly, waiting while he stopped glitching and showcasing a flashing error message enough to get another word out.

His monitor stopped cutting out after a few seconds with a particularly loud zap, red eyes once again looking into yours, a claw coming up to cup your cheek - the gesture causing your expression to once again crumple and start crying despite your smarter parts telling you to not. "You deserved - deserve better than that."

You truly hated that you loved this absolute dumbass. Of all people, why did it have to be the guy who looked like he had a stick being shoved painfully up his ass as he simply said the words 'I'm sorry' after creating this dumpster fire of a situation?

You sighed heavily, leaning into his hand while closing your eyes, it pleasantly cold on your cheek in comparison to your overly warm, puffy face.

Vox grit his teeth, utter humiliation permeating every bit of him.

He couldn't believe he'd ever said such a disgusting thing out loud.

But, the way you leaned into his touch with your eyes fluttering shut made it worth it.

The sound of the surrounding environment filled the air as the warm moment was allowed to sit in peace for a few seconds. Just quiet which washed over you very welcome after everything, and in contrast made Vox all the more antsy.

Vox interrupted everything with an awkward sound clearing his throat, smiling very tensely. "Please tell me I don't have to say sorry again." He half-jokingly (but really more seriously) said.

You slowly opened your eyes again, looking up at him through your lashes. "Mmm. I'm not sure if I quite believe you regret everything yet," you said as if thinking about it. "Maybe if you get down on your knees and grovel a bit, I'll consider it." You smirked teasingly.

Vox let out an irritated huff at the very obvious joking remark but figured it was better he didn't bite back with his usual attitude right now.

You chuckled, and gently gripped either side of his screen as you pulled his face close to yours, very serious now.

"I'll make this clear right now: I do not forgive you. All of this was ridiculous, and your bad actions, which you haven't yet actually acted to remedy, are stacking up. You understand that, right?" He grit his teeth, eyes looking away from you but still slowly nodding begrudgingly. You relaxed a bit, exhaling deeply. "Good." You said, slightly smiling at his pouting expression.

You stood on your tip toes, pressing a kiss on his screen where his cheek should have been. Vox looked back at you, smiling slightly.

"Come on, it's been a week, is that all I get?" He asked, immediately regretting it as you looked annoyed once again.

You shook your head, glaring at him. "Don't push it." You growled, before leaning in and kissing him much more deeply anyways.

Your love was going to be rocky for sure, but as staticky lips moved against yours passionately, you decided that you didn't mind. Whether that would come to be a stupid decision or not, would show itself further down the line. For now, you just wanted to stay in the present.

This part 2 was a long damn time coming goddamn.

I'm gonna be so fr, I was tempted to make this just be angst in the end because oof. But no, I was feeling nice. So you get somewhat actually healing his shitty maladaptive traits Vox.

I'm almost considering making more to this, but also God, there's so much more I'm working on as well 💀 I wish i had more time.

Masterlist

#vox #vox headcanons #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox x reader #vox x reader fanfic #hazbin hotel x reader

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shepherds-of-haven · 1 year ago

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Okay I saw this asked on another blog and it was hilarious so I have to ask here : what do you think inner circle’s Beige Flags are? ( weird/quirky or questionable things they do that give you pause but overall have no real effect on the relationship)

Also hope you are feeling better!! 🩵🩵

Ooh, this is a fun one haha! (And I'm feeling a bit better, thank you! I still haven't fully recovered, but getting there slowly but surely! 🥲) Anyway, let me think...

Blade: rather than accompany you into shops (especially small ones), he assumes you want to be left alone to do your shopping in peace (and also typically finds shopping boring) and will instead just stand outside the door, looming like a really intimidating security guard or bouncer. (He is assessing street security, guarding the only door, and positioning himself within shouting distance in case there's some kind of threat.) This often inadvertently drives away business, so sometimes he'll just wait at the end of the street instead, staring out at the crowd like a member of your own personal secret service

Trouble: sometimes he eats too fast, or more accurately talks too fast while eating, leading to frequent inhalation down the wrong pipe and people having to thump him on the back while he coughs. Sometimes he will power through the coughing by sheer force of will and will just... forcefully swallow through it. He refuses to slow down. Life's too short to try to avoid death by choking

Tallys: doesn't make a ton of affirming noises to let you know that she's listening. A lot of people go "uh-huh" or "wow" or "right" or whatever when you're in the midst of telling a long-winded story. She just stares at you patiently in silence until she's sure you're fully done. This is polite in Elven culture, and she is completely listening, but it can unnerve people who feel pressured by silence lol

Shery: she still has to look at her hands to tell left from right. Like sometimes she has to make her left hand form the L to remember 😅 She also finds it difficult to do math in her head and either has to sketch it out in the air or write it down!

Riel: always leaves a bite or two of food left on his plate; rarely completely cleans his plate. Same with drinks! So many teacups that always have a few sips left at the bottom. Why didn't you just drain it, man? It's like he does it on purpose!

Chase: always takes the most meandering, inefficient way to get to a place. like if the walk from A to B is a straight line down one avenue, he always seems to take the most roundabout, random path. Here, I'll draw you a map:

Red: he is very bad at matching the pace of his walking with others; with those long legs, he walks at a naturally and totally subconscious fast pace! He's mindful about it when on a date or actively courting someone, but when he's focused on something else, excited, traveling, or out and about with friends, he has to frequently be asked to shorten the length of his strides so others can keep up lol

Ayla: I've mentioned this one for her before, but she's very bad about sharing her food. She hates when you snatch a fry off her plate without asking, and even if you do ask, she can be fairly begrudging about it if she perceives food is plentiful (like "why can't you get your own, the line is right there?") In work circumstances, like sharing group rations, she's totally fine, but in restaurants or in the refectory, she's annoyed by it, like "I loaded this plate for myself and planned on eating all of it... myself 😒 If you wanted to share something, you should have said so earlier!"

Briony: she's constantly whipping people in the face with her ponytail. She tends to turn her head really fast or spin around in conversation and whoever's standing near her ends up with a mouthful of hair. She hasn't learned to not smack people in the eye with her hair yet despite several remonstrations

Lavinet: frankly shocked, upset, and scandalized whenever there isn't a little something sweet at the end of a meal. it doesn't have to be a full-on dessert--even a single chocolate served on a plate would do, and is often preferred! but when there's nothing?? nary a profiterole or cream puff or a little sweet treat for the lady in sight?? something is off!! her palette isn't satisfied!!

Halek: he always wakes up in the morning so loudly. unfold from the bed -> crack his back, neck, shoulders with the most ungodly series of pops -> loud groan. It sounds like an old accordion getting stretched out

#Shepherds of Haven #beige flags #silly #all characters

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weebsinstash · 1 year ago

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Okay this is probably gonna sound really weird but this specific scenario is stuck in the brain—

Thinking of that version of things where you helped YouTwo make friends, imagine if, in some subjective way, they’re better than you. Not in a “better spider person” way, but more like a slightly more appealing face kinda way? Like you barely look different but if you put your faces into one of those evaluator things they’d get a higher score. Maybe they just have good makeup out smth idk. It doesn’t necessarily have to be this but just some random way that YouTwo is thought of as “better”

But eventually, the spider people start actively treating the copy as the original, because they have it in their heads that the original one they love is the best, so the “better” of the two must be the original. Instead of confusing psychological warfare through mix-ups, reader is actively pushed down and away by the spider people, and at this point they simply move away to a normal part of Nueva York (or their home universe, depending on how we’re doing this) since the rest of the society is clearly happy to focus all their love on the other one.

The good bit comes whenever YouTwo slips up, whether by returning to their home universe if reader’s is supposed to be destroyed, making a bad comment, or just any other kind of mistake that makes the entire lobby pause and look like 👀

Because it’s not just the reveal that they’ve been believing this imposter for potentially months now, but also the fact that they now realise they pushed you away and made you feel like shit the entire time

After whatever punishment they see fit for the imposter is carried out, Miguel is rushing to find where you’re staying now so he can try to apologise or explain or try to make it right or something—

But when he’s standing at your door and running through all the events in his head, seeing how pissed you look at him, he’s wondering how he could ever convince you to love him again (he can’t help but default to kidnapping you and controlling you until you understand a fraction of how sorry he is)

Idk that’s just where brain took me�� for me, at least, the best bit is the spoiling and smothering that would take place after, wanted or not!

I wrote this at midnight on my phone soo pls forgive if it’s incomprehensible lol

I'm always incomprehensible with weed or lust so you're good here lmao

Honestly I've been trying to sit and brainstorm 1. How does the Society start mistaking YouTwo for you and 2. How does this actually even work

You know how you can say "hey alexa" and she'll activate and then take further commands, but she's technically always listening to be able to receive the "hey Alexa" command? That's fucking Lyla, dude. I don't know if she's connected to every watch or just some of them but like, dude Lyla is an extremely powerful AI? How would you ever escape? It's not exactly clear how wide-ranging her abilities are, but as a program, she's not limited like you and I are. She can technically be listening and in some way processing and recording every single conversation that someone with a watch is having, or... maybe I'm thinking too much into it but sometimes I'm in the middle of brainstorming a you vs youtwo idea and my brain just goes "well wouldn't Lyla technically be there to set the record straight, wouldn't Lyla technically ALWAYS know who you are?"

And I think the answer to this problem... is to just say fuck it lmao! It's a fanfic and Lyla isn't always technically watching everything everywhere all at once even in canon right? She didn't immediately pipe up when Gwen reconnected with Miles in the beginning of ATSV, even though it technically would have been part of her prerogative to stop anything that would interfere with anomalies or the Spider Society. Technically speaking if I stayed completely 100% canon accurate this is how it would go:

YouTwo: --and they've just been pretending to be me this whole time! Please believe me Miguel, you KNOW it's me 🥺 uwu

Lyla within 5 seconds: heeeeey this is awkward but the electronic signature on your watch says you're the other one though lol? And the go home machine scans your dna and dimensional signature and the original doesnt even have a home dimension anymore? Plus here's some recorded audio from Reader's watch where you were threatening them and telling them no one will believe them if you replaced them, sooo.... awkward!

Like how fucking funny would it be if YouTwo is in HQ and is talking to Miguel and others and really playing their part and Spider Byte suddenly sees you log on this dimension's equivalent of Xbox lmao. Margo just looking back and forth and realizing holy shit. Or Reader deliberately ordering delivery food while YouTwo is out stealing their life or teaching their class and then when the delivery Spider shows up at your apartment that definitely only you have access to, that also helps kinda set things straight

I've even thought of like, you become depressed and start letting YouTwo do whatever they want and one day someone is banging on your front door and it's them "Hey you can't just COMPLETELY disappear, I don't want to work your fucking job everyday anymore, you have all these responsibilities and some of these people ALWAYS want to spend time with you" and you just smirk "oh no, guess that's your problem, 'real me'"

It's like. I'm trying to make it believable but if I ever do write the full fic (which I'm trying to but at this point I'm pulled between many different ideas) I want it to be believable? Like, for example, a lot of my dumb werewolf audiobooks have the protag being bullied and abused, and listening to those makes me MAD. I want readers to read this story and how you/Reader is being replaced and tricked and I want people to FEEL emotions about it, not just roll their eyes "this would never happen/this is so OOC"

But no definitely the yandere rose colored glasses start completely fucking you over, and I think another catalyst is, you seeing how "genuine" all your society friends act when they think it's not the real you you're talking to. Like here's an example i thought of. What if youtwo had the exact same hero name and real name as you and you're out and about one day and Miguel approaches you and he just CALLS YOU A NUMBER. Like say your home universe is 1217 and YouTwo's is 1712 and Miguel just walks up to you, "what are you doing here, 1712? You're supposed to be helping with construction in sector 6" and meanwhile you're just like holy shit do some people legitimately not even call YouTwo by an actual name, are these people more evil than I originally thought, holy shit no wonder YT wanted to steal my life" (and it's partially because depending on the person they either think of YouTwo as a Dollar Tree version of you and are nice to them as well but prefer you, OR they hate YouTwo outright for "daring to defile your image" and have the same voice and face as you, they think youtwo brings shane to you or whatever)

So not only are you starting to become upset about feeling replaced and feeling like you were never important to them to begin with, but then you're realizing that, either overall or with certain actions, that a lot of people are more outright mean and heartless than you originally thought?

And you're standing there "oh YouTwo has smaller pores and clearer skin than me, YouTwo actually knows how to dance at the clubs and parties,

BUT NO the shit where they suddenly start pointing out or criticizing things about you they've never commented on, just all of a sudden they have a LIST of things they dint like about you, when you're rhe same you've always been, SHIT HURTS, THAT'S THE DRAMA AND PAIN I'M LOOKING FOR

Miguel over here finally confronting YouTwo "and your little groveling for everyone's attention is so pathetic! Those empanadas you left on my desk weren't even good! They had all the wrong ingredients and they weren't crispy enough, i had to keep throwing them away--

You: a-actually, um, I was the one leaving you food so that you would eat. The first time came out really bad but i got better after the first time. You didn't like them, or did you not even eat them after the first time? 🥺

Miguel: --and they were fantastic, made me think of my Abuela, really took me back to my childhood, spectacular, outstanding, 5 stars

People start just "sounding off at YouTwo"

Pavitr: you wanted to try and make chai and it was so bitter my auntie poured it down the drain!

Porker: and when I introduced ya to him, you made Roger real uncomfortable with the "jokes" you made about him and his wife, which weren't that funny by the way!

Hobie: your style is conformist, it's like you have no real sense of self identity. Why did I see you at one of my concerts in a shitty leathet jacket and some brand new converse? You don't even know punk lace code, and you didn't even say hi, you just lurked like a creep

You: God DAMN that was ALL me, do you guys like ANYTHING about me????

And like, depending on what I choose or your personal preference I guess, the Spider Society has it rough too! Wait, so YouTwo WAS impersonating you, but it started when you LET THEM, and then there were times you could have came forward but didn't and basically "allowed" yourself to be treated like shit and have everything progress, so there's this, huge lingering doubt in tons of people of "wait so when was I actually spending time with Reader and when was I with the fake? Oh shit you're telling me those times the fake was rude as fuck to me, that WAS Reader, but they were rude because they were mad I didn't know who they were? But they didn't correct me and let me keep being mean to them????". Miguel is over here tearing his fucking hair out because UGH YOU'RE SO FRUSTRATING 😤 why did you let it get so bad, don't you know you could've came to him for help at any time?! (Except he totally lost your trust when YouTwo framed you for that elevator collapse from that one previous idea and he totally 100% thought you did it) but he still loves you and knows You're Going Through It, but, he definitely is. Relieved you're still ok but mad at you? Or disappointed? He's updating Lyla to keep a better eye on you, he's swapping out your watch for one that tracks and stores more information and is more personally customized, he may even decide, maybe he's got a little bit of an anxiety problem after everything that happened and he's paranoid "someone will try and take you away again"

It definitely is not your choice whether you return to the Spider Society or not, and I wouldn't put it past them to have you be "guarded" 24/7 from then on. Why is your Spidey Sense tingling when you're just out in the lobby getting some air? Because even if you can't see your loyal protectors, they sure can see you, from every visible surface, and next time you think you're alone in your apartment, well, some of your buddies CAN turn invisible. Maybe you were never really alone as you thought?

#yandere spiderverse #yandere x reader #sinprompts #yandere stuff

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trashexplorer · 8 months ago

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BLCD Review: Saezuru 7

Title: Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai 7 (囀る鳥は羽ばたかない 7)

Author/Artist: Yoneda Kou

Shop: CD + Manga

Release Date: 2021/07/28

Cast:

Hatano Wataru + Shingaki Tarusuke

Okitsu Kazuyuki

Masuda Toshiki

Ookawa Tooru

Ueda Yuuji

Satou Takuya

Miyake Kenta

Ito Kentarou

Nara Tooru

Synopsis: Adaptation of the 7th volume of the series.

Review Proper

I'm not sure what's gonna end first: the series or my fucking life.

As much as I love Saezuru, it's gone on for so long that it's starting to get old literally and figuratively. You know, I wouldn't even be mad if Yoneda Kou ended the series by killing Yashiro off in 6. 7 is still well-written to a point and the BLCD did deserve to rank second AGAIN in chil-chil 2022, but I'm not sure about the future of this series (it wasn't nominated in 2023 tho which is one of the few good things about 2023's).

I say a lot of things, but I'm still invested in vol. 7 & 8.

I don't know who I'm jealous of, BUT THAT SHOULD BE ME! This scene is in vol 8, not 7, but I wanted to include it anyway.

I do agree that Saezuru portrayal of the whole yakuza deal is the realest 'cause happy endings over there are quite rare, but this isn't a novel that comes out in one go. Doesn't help that June is ass. I've heard from several friends who've read the latest releases that it feels like it's lost its way and that just makes me sad. I'm still hopeful tho.🤧

As I've already stated, this placed second in 2022's awards. I mean, it's Saezuru. Frontier doesn't spare a penny for it lmao. All the major characters are voiced, and they managed to bring the A-listers back again. Sometimes, I forget that Saezuru is actually based on a manga whenever I listen to the BLCDs 'cause the production is just that good.

Shingaki slayed as usual. I've said this many times before, but no matter how bad or how well he does in another role, he will always be Yashiro. I just came from Tsunaida and we're in the middle of a Rei event in Nu:carnival, so I would expect myself to adjust to Yashiro, but I didn't need any of that lmao. Yashiro is truly Shingaki's magnum opus. I'm not at all surprised that he placed 3rd best seiyuu for Yashiro. Deserved.

Speaking of Nu:carnival, I will forever be obsessed with Yashiro's relationship with the other characters aside from Doumeki. Nanahara's voiced by my one true love, Okitsu, but like Yashiro, I love him for his character and not his voice. It is nice having the other veterans in here with him, too. The slut trio is complete with Daddy Complex SatoTaku, Boss Ass Chaser Okitsu, and Damel in Distress Shingaki. #BLESS I want Kamiya to end up with Nanahara.

I haven't heard Wacchan in years HAHAHAHAHA. His Doumeki is still amazing as always. My issues with the story aside, I'm really looking forward to his "break" in vol. 8. EEEEEEE

Special mention to my Ryuuzaki and Miyake Kenta who made their comebacks here too. I missed him so much! LMAO

The BLCD is pretty accurate to the... magazine at least, but June does sell the translated tanko (fortunately). Like the previous installments, reading the manga while listening to the BLCD was so smooth because it was so accurate. Now 7 does end in a cliffhanger, so I don't really advise listening to it if you still don't have 8. But if cliffhangers aren't an issue for you, then break a leg!

#blcd review #blcd 2021 reviews #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #yoneda kou #frontier works #hatano wataru #shingaki tarusuke #okitsu kazuyuki #masuda toshiki #ookawa tooru #ueda yuuji #satou takuya #miyake kenta #itou kentarou #nara tooru

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honeyhalcyon · 6 months ago

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hii do u have any hcs for little ena (toddler age!) and cg mizuki ^^

⊱✿⊰ Ena & Mizuki

age regressor & caregiver headcanons they/them pronouns for mizuki

🌻︰I see toddler Ena as usually being around three years old! A bit of an older toddler, but still quite small

🌷・One thing little Ena really enjoys is fingerpaints for bath time! She can make as much of a mess as she'd like without Mizuki having to worry too much about clean up

🌻︰Also just bath toys in general, I'm not sure why but I envision Ena really liking those! Especially the ones with entertaining lights and sounds

🌷・I think she also likes to talk a lot, she can usually be found rambling about whatever she's currently interested in, and she likes using big words, though she can't always pronounce them accurately; even if there's no one around to listen, she'll find an audience within her stuffed animals to hear her speak

🌻︰Speaking of stuffed animals, Ena's the type of kiddo who can't pick favorites and wants to keep all her stuffies on her bed, even when they inevitably fall off

🌷・She usually tears up at this, but Mizuki cheers her up by giving the stuffies a kiss to make everything all better

🌻︰Mizuki is a great caregiver for Ena because they know how to diffuse any situation! Ena's regression isn't always completely positive, and she can become overwhelmed with big emotions; Mizuki always knows the right things to say or do to help her feel better!

🌷・One of their tried and true methods is by speaking to her through a stuffie; little Ena is more likely to open up about her feelings if she can talk to a stuffie friend instead

🌻︰Aside from tense situations though, Mizuki is also the greatest caregiver ever (in Ena's words) because they're great at playing with dolls and stuffies; they even do different voices for each character, which Ena loves.

🌷・Sometimes when Ena is getting sleepy, she starts dozing off but insists Mizuki continues the story, so they end up putting on a one-person show with the dolls

dni banner © pawtrolling ⋮ flower divider © saradika

#✿ my headcanons #agere #pjsk #project sekai agere #mizuki akiyama #ena shinonome #sfw age regression #sfw agere #sfw regression

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becoming--nobody · 6 months ago

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5.9.2024

(I felt a bit of judgement recently that I've allowed to linger with me. As always, I wrote this for myself, to put away the remainder of those lingering thoughts.)

Many times since I've ended up alone after receiving that terminal health prognosis so long ago, I've seen the same thing in the eyes of others. The common thought people arrive at is I must have been quite an asshole to have been abandoned by friends and family, to die alone, struggling to care for myself. Don't get me wrong in this, a few people reached out, tried to help in their own ways, then moved on. The abandoned I speak of is that nobody ever committed to seeing this challenge of life and death through with me. It ended my marriage and eventually all of my relationships. That's the kindest way it can be explained.

I know this is the common conclusion (that I must have been unloveable), because I've been told this a few times after someone listens to me share the details of my story. You see, to someone who can't imagine what I have survived and grown through, I sound arrogant and prideful when I write or discuss how I no longer tolerate any unasked for critique from others.

Most people could not understand my day to day existence, and when "quality of life" is discussed, I smile and won't even participate in such talk usually. I've learned that we are capable of joy, sometimes, even in what once seemed unimaginable challenge. What most of us would consider the basics for some quality of living is far, far above what is necessary.

Part of my truth is that I still experience days of such dark despondance it would crush most other people. This is no brag of some natural strength, that is laughable! I've suffered months and years that have broken me completely. I have lost my sanity, sobbed uncontrollably for days, screamed in the midst of some madness, and once even set out to end this life. Creation intervened, then gave me a new persepctive during the 2 weeks following my interupted effort.

All of this continues to prove a kind of gymnasium where a strength I can not really describe, continues to build upon the suffering.

I know, at least in part, some of the negative traits family, friends, some of those I've met during these years, I'm aware of some of the failings assigned to me by these people. Some of it is kind of accurate, if they know me well, but much of it is either who I was decades ago or things they've chosen to believe to avoid looking at their own unwillingness to love freely. (Some of the beautiful people I've met during these tough years owed nothing to my life, yet provided more than they will ever know.)

There are moments I allow myself to feel the weight of all that garbage, things cast on my shoulders by others. It's heavy, and really isn't mine to carry, so I'm able to breathe, pray, remember the beautiful things I love in each of these people, and genuinely ask our Creator to comfort them in good health and contentment in all of their days.

Love.

Always it is love that saves my ass from bitter hopelessness; always love that saves my ass from riding my motorcycle off the side of a mountain;

always love that brings back joy and causes me to lift my face to the Sun as I often write of, and smile from the depths of my being.

My heart sincerely breaks when I read or hear of others sufferings. We all suffer.

I understand suffering.

It's a little late, but I'm tired and will likely sleep well. I hope that for you too, rest that restores.

The Earth is still spinning, so the Sun will be out again tomorrow. Even if it's cloudy or stormy where you are, there will be day light, I hope you find reason to enjoy your waking hours in the light.

It'll be sunny here and I already feel a bit of a grin, just thinking of that bright, warm Sun on my face.

I love you,

Stan

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thearvariblues · 1 year ago

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Oh, hey, look, it's another Biu-scandal post.

I've been considering and getting ready to write it for a few days now, but so far my words are kinda refusing to word. I decided I would still try, though, because I feel like I need to formulate the thoughts that have been running through my head for the past week.

Just as the last time, if my opinions make you uncomfortable, please feel free to block me and send me hateful anons, it's always a delight! 💙

First things first - yes, I still support Build. Yes, even a week later. No, I have not changed my mind. No, I'm not planning to. No matter his misdemeanors.

So you are IGNORING–

No. I'm not. I am aware of the fact that the things he allegedly said are what we consider shitty, but that doesn't change my opinion of him. At all.

Well I hope you have a REALLY GOOD REASON–

Yes, I have several, thank you for asking!

Reason one - I simply don't require my faves to be morally superior and clean as a freshly fallen snow. He is human. Humans make mistakes. Humans get frustrated and say stupid shit about their friends to another friends, humans talk shit about their job, humans make stupid jokes, humans are simply human. I don't mind finding out that a man I admire has made mistakes because.... I just don't. Sue me. (Please don't. As opposed to Ms. Ombre Pink, I do not have money to pay.)

Reason two - I refuse to judge the level of his shittiness, his homophobia and everything else he's being accused of based on a few out-of-context texts translated by antis who don't even try to make it a secret that they will not stop their bullshit until he either leaves public life, or (preferably) dies by his own hand. Listen, kids, I'm a translator myself, and trust me, I can completely change the meaning of a sentence while technically staying true to it in its bare essence. I can take a vaguely bitchy statement and make you into a monster without breaking a sweat. So excuse me if I don't trust people who are actively trying to destroy him to deliver the most truthful and accurate translations.

Reason three - I won't do anyone's dirty work for them. I have a brain. And I even use it from time to time. (Yayyyyy!) And it just seems... kinda weird that the very moment when Build gets back on his feet, mysterious twitter accounts start popping up and throwing accusations at him until they find something that sticks. They started with private photos, because apparently getting evidence of his relationship with Ombre Pink can turn the fans against him! (Spoiler alert - it did not.) Then they followed up with accusations of him throwing away the remnants of money bouquets - from a year ago, which raises its own questions about for how long has this mysterious person been planning on taking him down. (I'm saying mysterious person, as if we don't know her name starts with P and ends with I, with only one letter in between.) Anyway, this didn't work either, because apparently the fans are okay with him not keeping the wrapping of the gifts they give him. Who would have guessed! Well, the first attempts didn't work, so now we have a new scandal, using the big guns in the form of Bible and Apo's names! That's sure gonna work! And it does. But not on me. Like I said. Sometimes I tend to use my brain. What a shame.

Reason four (but maybe more of a reason 3B) - no matter who is exposing his "crimes", it's very clear to me that this person isn't doing it for our benefit. They don't want to expose Biu as a despicable monster because they don't want the fans to live in a lie or whatever. They are doing it with a very clear and open goal to destroy Build Jakapan. And I will not support that.

Reason five - presumably, all those alleged texts (don't forget that Ombre Pink has forged text conversations before) are from before the breakup, and also presumably from before the famous Phuket trip (and in case you don't know, in the leaked phone call from January, she accuses him of changing after that trip). Now, have you ever met a person who made you change your behavior without even realizing it? I have. Seriously, I know that spending too much time with certain friends makes me a worse person than I usually am. Hell, my mother is a terribly hateful person, and I always have to be careful around her because let me tell you, that hate spreads like a goddamn forest fire. What does this have to do with Build? Oh, nothing. Just a fact that Poi is clearly an extremely hateful, homophobic bitch who hates... you've guessed it, Bible and Apo. Let it sit for a moment.

Reason six - you know what, I think that's been enough reasons, I'm tired of that shit.

My point is this. In the essence, this whole thing is and should have stayed a private matter. It was an ugly, messy breakup after a shitty, clearly abusive relationship.

Listen, it's not coincidence that so many people who have had to deal with a narcissist abuser in their lives took a single look at Poi's behavior (no matter if it was back in January or later on) and went "wait... I know this shit". When you've been through it, you know. Trust me. You know. And it makes you sick in your stomach.

This is, and always has been, a private battle between a man and a woman.

On one side, we have Build, who might have made mistakes, but none of his mistakes are worth being cancelled for. Ever since this whole thing started back in January, he's been staying calm and collected, and he didn't talk shit about his crazy ex even when it could have helped him. Has he leaked their private call and some texts? Yes, but clearly only to clear his name. If you want to hate him for what he's "done", fine. Don't engage with his content. But let us morally fallen monsters enjoy it and support him in peace.

Because remember that on the other side, we have a woman who is openly homophobic (and if you don't see her "he cheated on me, oh god, do I have to get tested for AIDS?!" comment as homophobic, then I really have no words), has been proven to lie and forge evidence on multiple occasions (and had to confess to it) and has used twitter to spill secrets about her ex under the guise of "writing a story" (including, possibly, outing him as bisexual, since her "definitely not inspired by Build" character was bi) and scream at and blackmail him. We also know that as Daemi, she and Yok were being shit to multiple KinnPorsche actors, and they forced Barcode, a minor, to give them massages, claiming that's just a standard in the industry (and then proceeded to make fun of it to a point when Jeff fucking Satur felt the need to step up and say in a livestream that no, it's not a standard, you don't have to do those things, Barcode, you know).

Look. I'm not saying that because she's worse, it makes him an angel. It does not. Like I said, if you hate Build, feel free to, but don't hate on people who still choose to support him. Ignore him, and ignore us. Trust me, we don't want to argue with you all the fucking time.

I'm just begging you to think before you start spreading hate on Biu on the social media. Think who you're serving. Thing whose dirty work you're doing.

And then ask yourself if you are really the morally pure angels if you wish death upon one man and all his supporters because of a few stupid texts.

That's all. Thank you for your attention.

And if you still support Build, remember that I love you all, and you're not alone. 💙

#build jakapan

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sadkois · 1 year ago

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nishiki thonkin tonight

spoilers for kiwami. some rggo stories. but maybe not accurate spoilers cause i feel my brain meltin. also warning for complete nonsense... and blood? anyways.

thinkin about how nishiki was like. so competent at what he did?? mans knew everythin about how the yakuza worked back in the 80s... U COULD TELL HE WAS WELL INFORMED OF EVERYTHING. he knew about the ugly parts. he knew about majima. and he was the one explaining to kiryu everything asgdhj like lets say. the consequences in their line of work.

fUNNY how it was cause of kiryu that he got into the yakuza in the first place. he totally just followed kiryu into it and said "ok well sOMEONE needs to know what we are doing" cause yea kiryu was just followin kazama like a lil puppy (and nishiki followin kiryu, tho he's more like a cat i think. maybe. nishikitty..........)

bUT ANYWAYS what i was getting at is. he's very competent. so. him snapping and getting to be one of the BIG patriarchs (GET TO THE TOP!) isn't really a surprise. OF COURSE that brings me to the other point...

HERES THE THING. in kiwami we don't really see much of this competence do we? (ignorin the writing of the first game for a second ok, wORKIN WITH WHAT WE HAVE OK)

first it's like hes barely there, then you have his subordinates just. making HUGE mistakes, not actually achievin -doin- anything or even just. NOT listening to him at all. like when they killed yumis "sister" or the whole. reina and shinji.

OK SO. everyones got their onions 🧅 on rggo stories. FOR THIS THONK IM ASSUMIN MOST OF THEM DID HAPPEN. so in rggo we have that one story about what happened with reina and nishki when she tried to shoot him. and its like. nishiki didnt actually order for either of their deaths??? basically we had reina pulling a 'y0 nishikigun' on nishiki. and then well....

god i really gotta talk about reina and nishiki sometime cause i been thinkin about em a lot too. like reina liked him a LOT and i think nishki liked her too as a... sort of distant friend? does that make sense? idk what its called exactly. but yea i cant recall if they have ever interacted outside serena. (except from when they first met, another rggo story.. but that was like. a few minutes and then they were in serena lmao) it feels like a. 'i only interact with u when i come to this place' kinda deal. of course, goin there used to be constant until... not. nishiki totally distanced himself even more after the whole ordeal happened. and trust issues. (@ others? @ himself? yea)

crap. what was i talkin about. sEE THIS IS WHY I DONT AHSDJKL. what i was sayin is that, in that rggo story with reina, it just looks like nishiki's subordinates do NOT listen to him. at all. shooting at her when he keeps sayin "DON TSHOOT HER" "DONT KILL HER" "BRING HER BACK ALIVE"

SO BETWEEN THIS AND THE YUMI SISTER THING. WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO HIM??? AND WELL. ok listen if im statinn the obvious im sorry, again. just writin down what im thinkin cause im tired.

but yea i think the most logical thing is that, the way he's been managing things for the last 10 years has been very different to what we see in kiwami. why else would his men resort to shoot first questions later. it's almos like that was the norm before... as if that's how things worked in the nishikiyama family all this time.

so anyways. nishikis been tryina be cool about it. so so cool about it. but the moment kiryu got out of jail messed him up SO BAD man. i always say this but, mans was just 100% avoiding kiryu as soon as he stepped out, and i bet ya he started acting different to what his fam is used to, too.

like imagine u work for this boss at idk. mcdonals. you are familiar with the routine and what they expect of u. ur boss specifically wants you to always make fries a certain way, at a certain time, he himself showed u how. this is routine. one day as you are makin the fries, its suddenly WRONG and boss is upset and kills u and u dont know wtf is going on. (u r dead) because thats what we usually do?? why is it wrong all of a sudden?

tHATS THE KINDA VIBE I GET FROM HE IN KIWAMI

aight imma be honest i cant recall if he already had this whole plan before kiryu got out. like, did he take kiryu into consideration or not. cause he either. 1. did not take into account kiryu would be here 2. did not think kiryu being here would mess up his plans THIS bad (and when i say this i mean mess HIM up so bad he cant go thru his original plan) 3. everything was actually supposedly part of his plan (HA, I DOUBT THIS. MAYBE HED SAY THAT BUT WE KNOW IT AINT TRU NISHIKI OK) im leanin to 2

you know that part when nishki's like "i was shaking when i shot kazama". like, that was only cause he knew kiryu would hate him if he actually killed him, right?? right???? LISTEN I KNOW ITS LIKE A THING OR JOKE THAT HES BAD WITH GUNS OR SOMEHTING BUT i actually like to think he got good with those? i prob read it in a fic but i really like that headcanon asgdhj, i feel like itd make sense too. and him missin the shot cause of shakin hands, is because of KIRYU and kIRYU ALONE. where his hands even shakin actually?? didnt he just say that?? nishikis just got that unreliable narrator vibe. NAH HES THE WHOLE UNRELIABILITY. AND WHATSMORE. HE HAD TO COME CLEAN TO KIRYU THAT IT WAS HIM THAT SHOT KAZAMA. HUH? WAS IT EATING YOU UP BOI??? did you need confirmation that indeed, kiryu would hate you for it??? "hES NOT DEAD YET" yea??????? yeaaaa?????????????

LIKE LOOK. the few rggo stories we have of the era between 1996 n 2005 show that he IS indeed very competent! and he has very good control of his fam! and we have the proof of it in kiwami as well, even if its more tell than show? kind of? BUT THE MOEMNT KIRYU IS OUT THIS ALL GOES OUT THE DRAIN. WE KNOW HOW EMOTIONAL NISHIKI IS. WE KNOW IT LEADS HIM TO TAKE NOT SO RATIONAL DECISIONS. (Y0 FOREST NISHIKIGUN FLASHBACK) and god he tried so hard didnt he.

like ok ill admit u got good at repressin ur emotions boi. or turnin them into anger. or keepin a poker face. closing urself off or really just, started seein everyhing as hopeless in a 'whats the point anymore' kind of way. a combo of everything?

in a way nishiki did end up killin himself along with matsushige, but i dont think he did completely. but that's what he convinced himself of. yea? does that make sense? DAMMIT U ARE SO COMPLEX I LOVE IT

thonks. U KNOW its not like anything went right back when he was more... emotional in a way?. i mean, he always did kinda hide his emotions huh? just in a different way.... i mean, when we are first introduced to him in y0, i dont think anyone expected anything like the forest scene from him. i remember being speechless. like oh my god. and i have to say i am BAD at understandin stuff. like i usually understand plots/etc when im watchin reactors play the game asfdghj. BUT MAN did that scene leave me stunned asgdhjk.

but yea with how gOOD everyone around him was at displayin emotions, it makes sense how he ended up :) ... that was sarcasm, im sayin eveyrone around him freakin sUCKS at emotin asgdh, and in fact he was like, looked down at for it. MAN HE DIDNT EVEN CRY THAT MUCH. I MEAN, HE WAS GOIN THRU THE WORST CRAP EVER ??? WHAT DID THEY WANT HIM TO BE A ROCK ASDJKL TO BE KIRYU i guess the two most role figures he had were always very :/ but man this is why i keep sayin he needed an ichiban in his life. it would have been so good for him... an emotionally mature guy, who isnt afraid to cry and show his love for others.

GOD NISHIKI LOVED SO MUCH. IT HURTS ME SO BAD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

the way nish is just like. tryina become what he knows yakuza are supposed to be like.... what they are like..... his big man suit.... agh

idk where this thonk went. it started as a yes nishiki is very competent and he only had L after L in kiwami because kiryu being back threw him off so bad. so so bad it ended up the way it did :( if they had just talked, like really talked..................

man idk if anyones readin this, asdhgjasd kinda embarassin. hello hi. u are cool. uhh here have this drawin i did months ago that i havent posted anywhere (IT WAS BEFORE THE NEW YEAR RGGO CARD. not like it isnt just a combo of his two hairstyles but i was still like GASP)

hohooo with my attempt at a post kiwami nish :) did u know i also have a vampire au from months ago. would anyone like to read about that. its incredibly self indulgent. yea sayin this at the end of this nonsense cause im a coward agsfdyhgiog

#anyways there's not really a point to this im just. thinkin about nishiki to stop myself from explodin from stress saghdjsakd #help #no but seriously its like each paragrpah is a different thought #fhdjsfkogfhgh

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dvar-trek · 9 months ago

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January Romance

hello friends i have not slowed down, and perhaps i have maybe even sped up. in the. shotgunning queer romance novels department.

i am mostly on a hockey kick lately. i know nothing about hockey. i have probably watched a grand total of 5 minutes of hockey in my life. i do not care about any sports at all. but i figured that if i can get invested in a sports movie without caring about the sports part (such as Hoosiers (1986) or A League of Their Own (1992)), i could get invested in a sports romance novel without caring about the sports part. and i was correct. thank fuck, bc i think i've read all of the historical romances that there are.

nothing i read this month was like. perfect. it's very hard to measure up to my KJ Charles faves. but there was still some good shit!

the best of:

Hockey Ever After Series (Winging It, Scoring Position, and Unrivaled by Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James- each book follows a different couple. the characters are so good and well fleshed-out, the team dynamics are fun, the plots are engaging, and the sex is hot. you really don't have to know anything about hockey (especially if you start with the 2022 edition of Winging It, which is definitely, definitely the correct choice), but also apparently their hockey shit is pretty accurate, which i always appreciate. overall, the complete package.

the rest of:

loved | liked | okay | didn't like

historical

●Undressing the Duke by Erica Ridley (a duke falls in love with his valet who is also his best friend. couldn't finish it. i know KJ Charles has me spoiled for historical accuracy, but i yelled 'WHAT!!!' so many times at so many things that i finally gave up. also it's just not very good in any of the other respects.) ●The Campion Square series by Adella J Harris (three romances taking place in the same little neighborhood. the series is essentially just sweet and sedate and wholesome, and there is nothing wrong with it, but it did not make me feel a single emotion. the definition of 'okay'.) ○Mr. Wilkins and the Lodger ○Mr. Montague and the Pineapple ○Mr. Jenkins and the Necklace ●Best Laid Plaids by Ella Stainton (simply not that good, and not even in a fun way.) ●Mr Warren's Profession by Sebastian Nothwell (clueless son of a wealthy baronet falls for an impoverished clerk. it's nothing special and requires so very much suspension of disbelief that it stops being fun.) ●One Night in Hartswood by Emma Denny (it has its problems and isn't going to make the faves list, but is basically a lovely and heartfelt romance. two men who don't know each other's identities travel together through the winter. requires a normal-mid amount of suspension of disbelief.)

hockey

●Him series by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy (guy falls in love with his straight best friend in high school and cuts him out of his life. they reconnect 4 years later for one last summer together. i loved 90% of the first book, but did not love the direction the authors take things. this series is a genre-wide favorite for tons of people though.) ○Him ○Us ○Epic (novella) ●On The Brink by Kate Willoughby (there's nothing fun wrong with it. it's just not good.) ●Puckboys by Eden Finley and Saxon James (these are fine for what they are--just enough plot for hockey boys to have a lot of sex and fall in love, in that order. there are a ton more of these but i had no desire to keep going.) ○Egotistical Puckboy ○Irresponsible Puckboy ●Light Up the Lamp by Kit Oliver (i cried my fucking eyes out. and then i listened to a bunch of songs that i knew would make it hit harder and i cried some more. the writing is... not that bad but also not that good. the premise destroyed me. childhood best friends who fall in love and then life takes them in different directions and they fuck it up so stupidly because they are nineteen years old. and then they go through life with this. chasm. where the love used to be. and then 15 years later they are forced to work together and they decide they will simply never speak of it even though they never resolved any of their shit and it is breaking them open. if you read this book you are contractually obligated to talk to me about it thanks!) ○Biscuit in the Basket (epilogue novella)

other

●Hard Feelings by Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James (artist/graphic designer and software developer who can't stand each other are forced to work together, and they have a lot of hate sex about it. i do not think the authors know anything about design or coding. several parts of this book are cringe. it still had its moments that made my fucking chest hurt. possibly worth it just for that.) ●The Rock Star's Guide to Getting Your Man by Ashlyn Kane (another one where a guy is in love with his straight childhood best friend. he goes back to his hometown 15 years later to hide from drama with his bandmates, and finds his former best friend still lives there. this one also made me cry, but mostly the dead dad parts. a little bit cheesy and awkward. some funny moments, and not, like, heavy, but also not exactly lighthearted. i appreciated the fact that most of the conflict was with the band and not with the love interest.) ●The Inside Edge by Ashlyn Kane (tv cohosts who annoy each other and bicker on-screen -> casual sex -> fake dating -> real dating. just a delightful little bonbon of a romance. does go zero-to-i-love-you, which is a pet peeve, but you can't have everything in life.) ●All the Right Notes by Dominic Lim (composer's dad asks him to come home and put on a charity performance, and to convince a former classmate, now a famous movie star, to perform in it. nice amount of focus on the asian family dynamics without being too heavy-handed. engaging story, and sweet, but clunky. it's a debut novel though, so i'm looking forward to seeing what else this author will put out in the future.) ●Winter Ball by Amy Lane (i don't even know what to say about this book. i think it is from an alternate universe. the story and the dialogue both feel weirdly out of time, and the author uses phrases in the sex scenes that probably have never have never even been thought by another human. anyway it's about two best friends who discover their sexualities together, and decide to build a life together in spite of familial and societal disapproval.) ●Iris Kelly Doesn't Date by Ashley Herring Blake (the third book in a series that unfortunately peaked at book 1. all of the things that were awkward about the first book have only become more pronounced as the series progresses. i gave this the old college try, but could not finish it.) ●Date Me, Bryson Keller by Kevin van Whye (YA book wherein a popular boy agrees to pretend to date his gay classmate for a week. it is. not well-written, but it is basically a sweet story.) ●The Best Men by Sarina Bowen and Lauren Blakely (this one just felt aggressively like a book by straight women for straight women. also they didn't do the anal research. also also they didn't research the jobs they gave their main characters.) ●Top Secret by Elle Kennedy and Sarina Bowen (what if you were a straight guy in college and you were anonymously sexting another guy to set up the threesome your girlfriend requested. and then it turned out you were really into him. and then it also turned out he was the guy in your frat house that you hate. would that be fucked up hot or what. i will not lie to you, this book is kind of cringe. like one of the main characters insists approximately 500 times that he's only sexually experimenting because he's a scientist and it's scientific. but it's still fun and i still enjoyed it. there's also a bonus epilogue available.) ●Heels Over Head by Elyse Springer (incredibly repressed olympic diver falls for his new teammate. full of heartache and shitty families and tenderness and choosing joy.)

#romance roundup #in lieu of a #wip wednesday

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silver-heller · 2 years ago

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Not going to talk about this in length but, after the last post, I just had to go off a bit.

Summary: If you're being aggressive to people who self diagnose, maybe you need to take a step back and look outside of your own experience.

If it makes everyone feel better, these (people who hate self diagnosis) are the type of people that will put their head in the sand anytime someone mentions the concepts of "incorrect diagnoses" or any of the discrimination problems still prevalent in some countries concerning health care across the board. Aka, "THIS WORKED OUT FOR ME SO IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT FOR YOU, YOU'RE THE PROBLEM!" type bs. The type of people that refuse to see how minorities are treated because they think we have magically handwaved away all of that because they personally were catered to or had a good experience.

As someone who once had a best friend who tried to do everything they suggest without thinking, went through the correct channels, and was constantly never given the help they needed because the system sucked, but ended up getting actual help by being more involved in the community (and a more accurate diagnosis by doing this as well), I always laugh at this. Like yeah, the systems suck, that isn't a radical thing to say, just an unfortunate fact we should work to be fixing. I will never understand people that somehow have made themselves believe we're living in a paradise now where nothing can have flaws, and where professionals are flawless in every single way. These people would rather see ex best friend suffer because "the doctor is always right by default!", and then wonder what the issue is when they are demonstrating the exact lack of listening that caused that issue in the first place.

I have met SO MANY people like this that try to convince everyone they're being 100% logical in their argument against this kind of thing because, "the professionals must always be right, duh!". But, only a Sith lord deals in absolutes, and just default thinking all systems everywhere are perfect is just harmful. Also, don't even get me started on strangers being so damned convinced they know more about someone's knowledge and experience concerning mental health than they themselves do. Yeah, because I totally haven't heard scare tactics of "the mind plays tricks on you, and you can never trust yourself" ever before from other terrible groups...Oh wait. This is EXACTLY the same logic transphobes used against me for several years of my life. Yeah...not a good outlook to have.

Professionals are a good tool, but that doesn't mean people are complete blank slates with no prior logic or reason they can use to understand themselves. To put this into perspective, imagine if someone yelled at you for saying you had a scrapped knee because "YOU CAN'T CALL IT THAT WITHOUT A PROFESSIONAL'S ADVICE!". Now, imagine they still say that, even if you get paired with a bad professional that insists its "just a scratch".

Self diagnosing is an important tool that can help people when they can't get help, and be used later for when they can. Stay strong all.

#tw rant

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fedethemace · 7 months ago

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Giving my two cents seeing the comments there: even if It looks like youre saying different things from One another, you guys are, infact, all corredt. Let me explains why. Longass character analysis ahead.

Also, MANGA SPOILERS ALERT, SO BEWARE!‼️‼️‼️‼️

You gotta take in the social environment difference there. Yes, Toshiro has grown both as a rich master, hes polite and shy (as reason why he idealizes Falin even).

He also is from a completely different culture than the two siblings, and hes not uses to Laios overly friendliness (which Is a trait that, believe me, I myself share with him with people I'm comfortable with, not blaming the blond Boi for BEING like this).

Laios should not mask Better, not at all: the man should Just learn how to share this trait with people whom are comfortable with this trait. Learning get more social skills isn't masking, It IS respecting other people's boundaries instead.

Notice how the writer points out that some customs in the Island which Is very "general European" coded has different customs from the East, where Toshiro Is from, in his case from a very japanese coded country. There Is not only differences, but unfortunaltely, casual racism as well.Hell, Kabru party even asks Rin the very insensitive question if She knows them because they're both from the East! Sounds familiar?

Which brings us to the mispronouncing of Toshiro name. Can you Imagine coming to a foregein place, learn a new language, try to mind your own business, you start to really like a girl that seem so similar to you, calm and polite, and suddently your cowoker thinks you guys are bestfriends. He keeps mispronouncing your name, gets in your own personal space all the times, he interrupts moments with the girl that you like, and you feel incredibile uncomfortable, to the point that at One point It explodes in a fistfight, you tell the guy that he has to stop, that hes the worse, that you were NEVER bestfriends, why cant this guy get a hint, why Is he so reckless?? Why the fuck did he became a criminal, purring the girl you love in a compromising position with th authorities????

But...on the other hand. Imagine that you're like Laios. You Always lived isolated. Your only friend Is your Little sister, Who became an outcast for a field your parents and your Town dont understand. You are all you have. You don't understand social queue well at all, and are NOT initially aware of It. Just looks like everyone dislikes you for some reason and you don't get why.

Then you and your Lil sis start a new job. You DO get Friends with your cowokers. Sure sometimes they tease you, but they deeply care about you, THEY SPELL IT OUT TO YOU as you are about to get in trouble for your sister wellbeing!

You finally found people you belong with...and then the One you thought you bond with the most, that you considered your bestfriend, tells you that he despises you and you're an horrible person. That you got your sister in danger and are NOT his friend. Then why the hell didnt he told you out BEFORE and didnt tell you out loud??? You WOULD have listened, as many times as you did before. You are so hurt, you guys get in a fistfight even.

This Is literally what the comments there accurately depicted as an autistic nightmare. And I think I wrote enough to explain that this Is 100% a cultural/social Clash and neurodivergence Clash. Because yes I think Toshiro also has a form of neurodivergence + he has a higher status compared to Laios. He cant understand how someone like him cannot take an hint, he probably thinks he Is being annoying on purpose. They're completely different and cannot find a way to get along then, right? Well...

The fact Is tho...they do overcome this at the end.

Not because Laios "stops being autistic", not Toshiro has stopped being himself either: they just grew to understand eachother more. Toshiro also learns Who the real Falin Is (not an idealized girl of his dreams, but a strong sweet Maiden with a LOT of flaws), and despite his feeling persisting, he doesnt assume she'll fall for him... because She never loved him, but grew to like him as a friend, and Will see him in the future.

Dungeon meshi Is an Amazing story about food, growth, and living with your own disability, your own culture, being yourself, and start to respect other people differences and boundaries.

If there's One thing that this story teaches you, Is that people don't live in a vacuum and there are some things that we Will initially fight over. We could LET them head us to war like It often happens...

Or we could learn from eachother and live in peace.

Thank you for coming to mu Ted Talk.

Final disclaimer: I am NOT a Person of color, I'm infact a white European from Italy. All I did was giving my two cents as a probably neurodivergent guy adapting to social queues well into adulthood and learn to respect other people and other cultures. DM surely helped. Thanks again!

Interrupting Falin talk to bring you the scene that shows why Laios really great autistic representation and why Shuro is the worst. he's a well written character but I hate him

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #nakamoto toshiro #sorry for the essay guys please dont kill me

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