#even if it hurts me even if i die!!

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[bertoyana]

charles and erik with each other: oh dear, oh dear. gorgeous 🥺👐 charles and erik with the villain of the week/the x-men: K1LL YOURSELF 🔥🔥🔥

X-Men: First Class (2011) | X-Men Apocalypse (2016)

[obsob]

there he is......the man of the house

[iwasbored777]

The fact that all Gwen knows about her variants in other universes is that they're dead is so sad. Like imagine you want to know what happens to you in other dimensions and it turns out that wherever you look you mean nothing, you're so unimportant that there's no bigger role for you other than dying.

And I've seen you guys pointing this out, where she's looking at what looks like her own death and even if it's not this is not just a "love interest" Gwen, this is a superhero who is supposed to mean something, but she doesn't. She's only here to die. And so far this (our) Gwen doesn't have any reason to believe that she won't die very soon just like other Gwens.

I think that one of the main reasons why she's rejecting Miles is not just her trauma and all shit she's been through and the fear of dying like other Gwens when they're involved with Spider-Man, but also because if they start something and she dies this will hurt him too.

It's easy to say "canon events aren't true she shouldn't believe in that" but this isn't just a regular risk, this is her life we're talking about.

[lukazade]

If I had a nickel for every time I drew my favs getting a nice little sleep in a warm comfy place I would have.... maybe too many nickels.

[lunarharp]

post that reads like a mood swing

[sefynarose]

thinking of the boys and honestly?? just imagine since they traversed time and space for mc they have to be a little unhinged right? imagine the lifetimes that passed them by where they may have missed mc, weren’t able to find her or get to her in time before she dies in that timeline. the constant agony of searching forever for someone who is fleeting just like the sands of time. growing older and decaying only to be reborn again in a constant cycle. and never in the same place or at the same time. constantly having to travel the world to try and find her again. and the few lucky times mc is near enough for them to establish themselves in her life before they lose her again. but the time they get to spend with her is never enough and is so fleeting before they’re back to wandering the world looking for her soul again

[hyponautica]

i forgot this wip existed for like 20 days. gotta love school /s

[shannonsketches]

[springypaws]

Doodles ✨

[perenlop]

im abt to rb a post on this anyways but tbh i dont know how you can finish isat and go “siffrin wasnt punished enough”.

the fella has killed themselves several times, what more do you want from him?

[itsryuworld]

are you freaking kidding me right now?!

this was never a bromance but... dude, this is wild. ken, knot and nate are friends that care for each other and they love each other and you can say it, they have a beautiful friendship

BUT THIS IS NOT FRIENDSHIP

bad buddy vibes right here???

like really, they're killing me i can't take it anymore pls say it out loud, don't use the word friendship anymore its hurting me 😭

the B in bromance left the chat.

SINCE EPISODE 1.

ken, knot and nate are friends.

saint and shin are in love.

[skrunksthatwunk]

kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.

and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.

and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?

hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.

it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh

[worthless-misery]

She died years ago. She knows she did.

And now she's just a stubborn lost soul, insisting she might have some life left in her.

Seamlessly wandering this world, hoping to someday find something to give her said life again.

But knowing deep inside that this might never occur.

She cries for salvation, hopelessly yearning for healing.

But her cries are lost in the empty abyss that is her home.

In desperation, she gets ahold of an innocent young woman.

But her attempt only drove the poor girl's mind into madness.

Now the girl cries, mirroring the soul's constant weeps.

Both beings are now engulfed by the pitch black, bottomless void, and seem to be bound to eternal despair.

[muxhroom-marx-markiplier]

welcome back to rodrick drops a shit ton of extremely messy unfinished doodles of his favorite character(s) because he cannot be held at gunpoint to finish a drawing

in this episode rodrick puts his head in his hands and tears his hair out and then screams really loudly

[yubnubforhire]

As shitty as the breakup was (and it definitely was) I think it’s also true that fanon bucktommy was always better than canon, and a lot of us feel betrayed by canon not matching our fanon. Canon bt, much like the rest of canon 911, was poorly written disorganized story beats. The scene at the end of 7x04 was fantastic which is what most people remember, but like… the scene in the firehouse earlier with the basketball that was literally just an Amazon prime ad?? The fuck was that. Tommy just leaving buck at harbor station when he takes off with Eddie? The way that Tommy just called an Uber for himself after their first date without saying a word about it until Buck asked if it was their ride ??? Who does that?? The relationship was wildly underdeveloped onscreen (they’re suddenly boyfriends? Officially? I guess??) and a lot of us just filled in the blanks as we are expected to do, but that doesn’t change that actual canon was. Not good. The end of their relationship was never going to be well written or even well handled.

This is not at all me excusing the mess that was this last episode but let’s not all pretend like this show was ever well written lmao. It’s trash. It’s literally trash tv. It’s MY trash, and your trash, but it’s at best a prime time soap opera where four (4) firefighters save Los Angeles and/or possibly all of North America from disaster once a season. The writers will make the characters do anything if they think it’s interesting. There are no through lines. There are no meaningful and complex multi-season character arcs. These characters cheat on their partners, hurt their friends, make mistakes constantly (except chimney who has done nothing wrong in his life ever) and go through more trauma in a single season of television than a team of psychiatrists is equipped to handle in a lifetime.

Just keep writing those bucktommy fics, because they’re always going to be better than canon. You’re always going to love the characters more. You’re always going to be more invested in the relationship.