#even if it hurt me a thousand times over lol xD

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Hey y'all! So, for just under a year, I've had a review for the Season 6 finale of The Good Doctor sitting in my drafts. There's barely anything, and I've never had the motivation to get around to it, so I'm going to do a really quick one here. I'll try and do a more in depth one with that draft in the future, but the finale season (😭😭💔) premieres in a couple of days, and I want it out before then. I'm super busy and tired so I don't have the energy for the full thing lol, so here's just something to ease my mind.

I'm sad to see Danny go :(. I'm glad he's doing what's best for him and that he's not mad at Jordan (because yeesh I understood him but that hurt me, hurt on all sides lol), but I'll miss him </3. Maybe one day he'll come back :') (although in current context I doubt it buuut you never know). And poor Jordan too 😭.

Also thank goodness Jerome and Jared are okay xD. I mean okay is a relative term here but yk. Anyway, I'm so glad they're okay we went through enough this episode 😭❤️ xD.

AAAHHHHH PARK AND MORGAN ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! WHOOO YAYYY FINALLYYYY!!! They took their sweet time huh xD. Like, the show lol. Still, they're gonna be a family together :'DD I'm so happy. They're adorable, I love them <33.

:OO Andrews is quitting! That's wild tbh. I mean good for him, and Dalisay too, but dang xD. Brave move man, lol. You better hope it works out xD, with her I mean. But nah, I'm happy for them :DD.

Iirc Lim and Glassman were with the patient who couldn't move or was almost brain dead or something like that, and I'm so glad they found a way to help her improve :'). I'm proud of them <3.

I don't remember who was on the case with him but I remember Asher's patient's father (I believe) died and I felt so bad for him 😭. Poor Asher :(. And poor the guy's family! They just kept doing heartbreaking things this episode xdd. Also the little Asher and Jerome moment at the beginning of the episode <33 my lovelies.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHAUN AND LEA HAD THEIR BABY :'DDDDD!!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEM HOLY CRAP 😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰😭❤️😍🤩🥳🥳🥳🥳❤️. AND THEY NAMED HIM STEVE AARON AAAAAHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️❤️❤️!!! I'm not okay thank you very much <333. I love them all so much :'))).

Also VOEIAMPFWNIAH GLASSMAN WHY. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. I MEAN I KNOW WHY BUT SIRRR 😭😭😭💔💔💔 I DON'T DESERVE THIS!!

Y'all can't/don't believe how much I'm stressin. Again, I do not deserve this xd.

Anyway but him sending the gift was so cute 😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️❤️. But just aUOAGH he was SO CLOSE TO GOING INNNN-

Once again, I don't deserve this <3.

xD But seriously, even if the hat part made me SAD, I loved the whole storyline <33. And I am so glad Glassman sent a gift xd. They'll make up eventually :')). It would be absolutely WILD if they didn't, and it will be pain until they do, but I'm sure they will lol.

Anyway!! There was a lot of drama between people this season (though there always has to be), and sometimes it was stressful, but I really enjoyed this season. There were so many great moments and I just love all these characters so much <333. And let's not forget the new characters!! Danny and Dani (I still find it absolutely wild that they never addressed that btw lol) were icons, and I was sad to see both of them go but they were really good for their time on <3. They were both super unique and I also loved seeing a disabled character in Dani :D. Her journey helping Lim with her own journey was amazing, and I kind of relate as a disabled person <3. And Danny was also super great, it was nice to see him stick to his reasons and decisions a lot. For a one season character he was really complex and I like that :)). Also his relationship with Jordan was great <333. It was also wild to see Kalu return this season lol!! It took some adjusting (though I enjoyed that time too) but I love having him back :DD. I love all of these guys so much and I can't wait for next season <333.

Sooo yeah!! I absolutely loved this episode, it was so dramatic and so good. I'm so excited for the next season!

This has been my review for. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 22: Love's Labor

I loved it, it was such a culmination of the season. I'm scared of the drama but also so excited for it, and everything else about next season. I'll be back then for my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7

See you then!!

[egg-emperor]

Obsessed with how people like to theorize that Eggman was genuinely considering changing his ways and becoming good because of his reflection on his grandfather in the SA2 ending, yet the unused lines prove it wasn't the intention at all. Instead he was just thinking about his next evil scheme in true classic Eggman fashion. He's so funny hehe that's my boy!! 🥰

They probably just didn't keep them in because it didn't suit the tone of this great scene and I get it. But with these unused lines, we get to know what he was actually thinking and his real conclusion after this and I fucking LOVE it lol 💜 Nothing gets in the way of Eggman's dreams and his motivation for it. Nothing! He's so passionate about his goal and loves being evil, this wouldn't break his spirit!

Also funny to me when people act like Eggman cares and has empathy for the people on the planet and if they get destroyed too and that it's why he had that reflection and considered that he should change his ways, so he doesn't hurt people like that. But like no lol he killed people and threatened to kill more using the cannon himself in this game and his speech doesn't imply sudden regret or care.

It makes sense that he asked "did he really mean to destroy us" because very literally everyone including himself would've died if it had gone to plan but in reality he only cares about himself. He wasn't really thinking or caring about their lives being lost like his own. And it obviously makes sense for him to be disappointed that his idol and grandfather was really just gonna get him killed like that.

As always, the Advance 2 manual, that released a year after SA2, knows what's up he's without a thought or care for anybody else but himself.

And also since then, he's continued to cause mass destruction on a global scale many times, not caring about how much damage he does to the world or who gets killed as a result of his actions and he often intends for it.

All that matters to him is his own safety and the world he wants to rule still existing so that he can actually rule it. Besides that, he'll cause as much destruction and death as it takes to get what he wants and won't give a single shit about anything or anyone else XD

He's still as destructive and murderous as ever, if not even more over time as this plans only get even bigger, crazier, and more diabolical.

The funniest thing about people thinking that Eggman became better or toned it down after his moment in SA2 is that he later basically did his own equivalent to the Eclipse Cannon in a game in Unleashed, firing his own goddamn super chaos emerald powered laser cannon and literally breaking the planet apart to release Dark Gaia and he fucking loved it!!!

He practically did the exact same thing as Gerald planned to with the Eclipse cannon by having an earth destroying cannon fuck up the planet but just without destroying it entirely so it can actually exist for him to rule! Because no doubt that thousands absolutely died when this happened. The only difference is that he gets to live and the planet still gets to exist for him to rule.

Plus the Sonic Channel story (part 1, part 2) written by Eitaro Toyoda also had Eggman literally taking control of the Eclipse Cannon itself again and trying to fire it at the world to destroy an entire city and kill everyone in it LOL. He's more than happy to do exactly what Gerald wanted to do in killing people with it, only he still wants the world to exist to take over after and get to live of course. They're the only reasons he really helped to stop it when Gerald tried to do it.

So yeah, Sega/Sonic Team don't consider Eggman to have changed or toned down his evil at all, he still wants to cause global destruction and kill people. That was never a factor of his reflection in SA2 and the unused lines alone prove it. The theory that he isn't as evil as the Adventure games because it shifted his perspective and made him consider changing his ways is funny. Especially because he actually isn't less evil at all, y'all just aren't paying attention to him and how his evil plots and actions are still as evil as ever. :P

I love his passion for his interests and his dreams, I love his determination to always keep trying to reach his goals, I love how he'll never give up, I love how confident and certain and set in his ways he is. Those are his greatest strengths and the way he never sways because nothing or nobody could ever kill that spirit is so much better and cooler than him having insecurity or doubt or not enjoying what he does. It gives this evil bastard some admirable charisma 💖

[iwanttofuckereh69]

now reading 2ha vol 2

ch 55 - 71

… but the careless thought would fly through his mind and soon be lost, like the drizzle of rain falling into a deep pond.

Mo Ran’s entire existence put into words perfectly

1. now im sad 😭

Ahhh the way Shi Mei’s death is described is gut wrenching. I was so sad reading that. But yeah, at least there are more details to what happened. It seems like Chu Wanning couldn’t do anything to save him that day. Or rather, he had to choose. I feel like if he tried saving Shi Mei, he wouldn’t hold the barrier. So he chose, faithful to his principles. It ties to Chu Xun’s sacrifice that seems to be supposed to show how hard of a decision it must have been both on Chu Xun and Chu Wanning. My guess is Mo Ran either didn’t realize at the time that CWN had to choose one over the other or he couldn’t understand why he would sacrifice his disciple to protect all those people he himself doesn’t care about. 

But damn that description hurt. Mo Ran’s heart was truly aching. And that comparison to a snowflake, equally beautiful and equally unimportant. Ehh

@thegreymoon if this is "moderate and usual amount of suffering" then i dont know if i want to continue!!!!

(jk, i like when it hurts 🙂)

2. Chu Wanning is even more awkward than i was in high school which should be considered an achievement

Tbh I like moments of Mo Ran’s longing for Chu Wanning. And how he reacts when he sees Chu Wanning finally after all this time CWN spend “in seclusion”. Its lovely, but also hes so dumb for not realizing. This whole whatever was going on between them during New Years Eve celebration was just lovely but also so awkward. Chu Wanning deliberately giving him a copper coin dumpling? Absolutely cute. But also so awkward and just 😬 Instead of finding thousands of weird ways to flirt maybe just tell him? Idk its an outrageous idea, but idk give it a try maybe?? And omg that awkward moment when he wanted to invite mo ran to watch fireworks but… yeah. I felt it in my bones. 

3. Breaking news, Mo Ran, despite being 32 yo in 16 yo body mentally somehow ended up being 5

Sometimes it feels to me as if mo ran desired CWN not as a person but as an object. And he is even comparing him to an ugly box that nobody wanted with perfectly fine food inside. An ugly box only he himself dared to open to discover the treasure inside. And he is so childishly jealous when now that box is on display for everyone to look at. Its almost silly. But also yeah, its another time he treats CWN more like a thing he owns. And nobody else should see any worth in that thing, because its only his to consume. There is a fine expression in my native language for a person like that, and funny enough, its also dog related. But I couldn't find any translation that would convey all the nuisance. It’s for a person that won’t let anyone else enjoy a thing even if they themselves have no intention of enjoying that thing either. It reminded me of this quote:

Eventually, like a beast, he had known only one thing: that Chu Wanning was his. Even if he didn’t care for Chu Wanning, he was still his to sunder and to ruin. 

And like… Right now, Mo Ran seems to me like an annoying jealous kid that wants CWN for himself out of pure spite. Because CWN never gave MR attention he thought he was owed or that he deserved. I want to punch him just a bit.

4. Shi Mei is totally Chu Wanning’s wingman

Like he always tries to show Mo Ran that CWN isnt all that bad XD And I won’t believe he didn’t realize after all those completely awkward confessions and random hand holdings that Mo Ran has feelings for him. Like I won’t believe he wouldn’t see right through him especially on that boat. And I think he is smarter than MR and saw that CWN isn’t indifferent to Mo Ran after all. I want to say he would be happy if they’d get together but BASED ON COMMUNITY’S REACTIONS i feel like i will look like a clown lol. But oh well thats my very biased impression of Shi Mei. 

@rosemary-screams

Never back down never what? NEVER GIVE UP!

Also it dawned on me while reading that you’re totally right @02cm, Mo Ran totally is wasting his chances with Shi Mei. I mean it happened before but that boat scene striked me as so annoyingly obvious. Like, he knows Shi Mei dies after he gets back from that “summer camp” in peach blossom springs. Its not gonna be long till that day and he can’t be sure it won’t happen again. And he is waiting around, unable to express his feelings that he was supposed to be so sure of. Is it… perhaps… a live showcase of Mo Ran’s only two brain cells almost connecting? Almost! Not quite there yet, but we’re on the right path. 

5. This book makes me feel disdain towards the characters and then feel bad for them in the matter of chapters njnjgviuvnjuigi im not well

I'm so heartbroken with the story of how Mo Ran was punished when he tried to steal the haitang flower for Chu Wanning because he had a crush on him. And CWN never let him speak and explain himself and punished him instead. I mean it’s kinda understandable but it makes me sad knowing that MR had such pure intentions... Also, that bedtime story about ox… Mo Ran sees himself in that boy? Because it seems like he always took the beatings no matter if he deserved it and nobody was kind enough to actually listen? And it seems like it will happen again now that he's being framed for murder.

6. Me when MR gave Xia Sini butterfly hair clip and made his hair:

THIS HAS NO REASON TO BE SO CUTE. Also i'm actually enjoying that smol Chu Wanning arc despite being weirded out at first. It gave CWN opportunity to be more relaxed around MR and the rest. And just like he can enjoy sweets as much as he wants without having to worry about losing his face, he can also just chill a bit because oh boy, my guy needed it so much

7. Someone really dislikes Mo Ran and is actively plotting his demise (which im not even surprised with). It’s either someone he already managed to wrong after reincarnating or someone of those many, many people he offended in his past life that somehow also got reincarnated into the past. What are the odds?!

Also, if Chu Wanning and Chu Xun are related (rather closely given how they look alike) and Chu Xun died and Chu Lan died and it seemed like there wasn’t anyone left out of their bloodline… how. Also what’s the self sacrifice gene because it clearly runs in this family. 

[the-crimson]

Ok, all my current thoughts on the 4halo/untamed cross over

going below a cut cuz this is going to get long XD

ok so there is a problem. Both bbh and forever fit Wei Wuxian and neither of them fit Lan Wangji XD I think bbh fits wwx’s profile more but ill compare which traits they have that match wwx -- (i main bbh and occasionally watch forever so take my interpretation of forever’s character with a grain of biased salt)

bbh: black and red color palette, associated with death/necromancy, ray of sunshine, selfless to the point of self destruction, insufferable prankster and joker, fierce intelligence hidden behind silliness, fiercely compassionate, lack of respect for rules or authority

forever: selfless to the point of self destruction, fiercely compassionate for everyone, very strong morals, lack of respect for rules or authority, strong familial bonds with others, fiercely intelligent and a brilliant inventor (create mod)

In another vein, I think the nature of 4halo’s relationship in cannon mirrors wangxian in a number of ways if bbh is wwx and forever is lwg - lemme explain XD

In the beginning, one party decides that they want to annoy and follow around the other party, who is disinterested and focused on other concerns. Through the persistence of the first party, the second grows fond of them and eventually sees that their souls are the same. The two work together over time to accomplish their shared goal and a friendship of mutual respect and admiration is born. Am i talking about 4halo or wangxian. Trick question. Answer is both.

When the brazilians were first added, bbh terrified forever with his grim reaper act and forever thought bbh was suss as hell because bbh was following them around the server while forever was with Richarlyson cuz bbh was worried Richarlyson would lose a life while they were thousands of blocks from spawn XD Im pretty sure it was only when they were working with the theory bros that forever realized bbh was trust worthy and the rest is history.

So, with my justifications laid out, I’m going to proceed with bbh as wwx and forever as a loose lwj. Here is my thoughts on casting for everyone else. This part is the hard part XD I’ll justify my choosing after it’ll all make sense XD (somehow we ended up with even less woman than the original cast which seems like it should be impossible but there are only 2 women on the smp sooooo) (also i only know most of the qsmp cast from bbh, Foolish, Bagerah, and Cell’s perspective and tumblr posts lol so... yea)

Wei Wixian: bad boy halo

Lan Wangji: Forever

Jiang Yanli: Foolish

Jiang Cheng: Maximus

Lan Xichen: Cellbit

Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao: Felps

Wen Ning: AyPierre

Wen Qing: Bagerah

Xue Yang: Quackity

Xiao Xing Chen: Wilbur

Song Lan: Philza

Nie Huaisang: Slimecicle

Nie Mingjue: Etoiles

Jin Zixuan: Vagetta

Wen Chao: Spreen

Wen Yuan: Dapper

Lan Suzhui: Richarlyson

Lan Jingyi: Dapper

Jin Ling: Leo

Ok, so context, most of these casting choices were more about their relationships than the characters themselves but here we go with my reasoning (am 100% open to alternatives let me know your casting choices in the comments!)

Jiang Yanli x Jin Zixuan = Foolish x Vegetta. Ok so Foolish is super laid back when it comes to lore but is incredibly protective when it comes to people he loves. We all remember his 10/10 acting when Forever hit Leo. I am just imagining him as Yanli telling Jin Zixun off during the crowd hunt like yes queen. Vegetta stands firm with his commitment to Foolish even when everyone is constantly saying Foolish is cheating on him and trusts him, wants to be with him regardless of the rumors. These two fit Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan’s end game relationship so much it makes my heart hurt XD

Jiang Cheng as Maximus. This one was one of the most difficult to cast but I think Max fits pretty well. From my experience Max can be silly but for the most part is pretty stoic and focused on the bigger picture. He is also pretty detached from others without any real solid connections other than Sophia.

Lan Xichen as Cellbit. This one was easy. Cellbit is super into all of the lore and enigmas just like Lan Xichen and while he has a somewhat serious personality he is always down for silliness and having a good time. Plus, his relationship to Forever is a given.

Meng Yao as Felps. ok this one was more uncertain as all I know about Felps is from the prison break XD but I know he and Cellbit are very close and Felps isn’t very good at minecraft so he’d make a perfect Meng Yao XD idk lol

Wen Ning and Wen Qing as AyPierre and Bagerah. This one is also a bit of a stretch. Bagerah is very devoted to her goals and family but also has a pretty strong moral backbone. Even though she is pretty silly a lot of the time, I think she’d make a good Wen Qing.

Xue Yang, Xiao Xing Chen and Song Lan as Quackity, Wilbur, and Philza. Okay hear me out. Xue Yang x Xiao Xing Chen has similarities to Quackity x Wilbur. Wilbur has been hostile to Quackity because Quackity keeps trying to steal Tallulah and Quackity’s been pretty wild since Tilin’s death. Obviously he isn’t anywhere near Xue Yang’s craziness but I think he’s the closest other than Slime. Philza as Song Lan to Wilbur’s Xaio Xing Chen

My thoughts when it comes to the kids, breaking mdzs cannon a bit here. Dapper is Wen Yuan during the burial mounds but they have the personality of Lan Jingyi post time skip while Richarlyson has Lan Suzhui’s personality XD. So, uh, idk haha Maybe Lan Wangji adopts both of them? or the characters are combine idk lol

Jing Ling as Leo also fits so well it hurts my heart. Leo is a lonly child who is super protective and kinda territorial with their parents. She would be so ruined if her parents were killed. I am just imgining Leo in Jin Ling’s scenario and my heart hurts for him.

Alternatively, if Forever is Wei Wuxian then Cellbit is Jiang Cheng and Felps is Jiang Yanli. Bbh is Lan Wangi, Wilbur is Lan Zichen, Quackity is Meng Yao, Foolish is Nie Huasang, Philza is Nie Mingjue.

uuuu yea those are my thoughts im tired now XD my energy levels have crashed and my brain no longer works. let me know what you think and what your headcannon are! :D

who knows if i end up actually writting this im already outlinging a 4halo modern au so well seeeeeee

[deputyash]

Necromancy, Raven, witch, and haunted for Dovie, and pumpkin for you :3

Thanks for sending some! <3

NECROMANCY - What are their views on death? Undeath? Immortality?

Hitting me with the hard questions haha. Hmm, I think to a certain extent Dove sees death as just being a part of life, but also I can see her not really wanting to think about it too much. She’s quite afraid of losing her loved ones, so the thought of them dying is hard for her. As for her own death, she tells herself she feels neutral towards it, but also she would be afraid of dying before her time. I also think Dove would like to believe in an afterlife of some sort. She’s not particularly religious, but she just likes the idea of being reunited with people (and pets) she loved. She would also like the idea of watching over the ones she cares about even after her death.

Undeath, I’m assuming this means like zombies/vampire or maybe resurrection type of things? I don’t think that Dove would actually believe in undeath, but she does like the idea of reincarnation or resurrection. She finds those concepts interesting and a tiny sliver of her wonders about it being possible. (Unless it’s the version of Dove that eventually becomes a vampire haha, then yeah I’d say she believes in undeath. Ghost!Dove too lol.)

Immortality is similar to her views on undeath. She finds it interesting but wouldn’t actually believe in it. If, for whatever reason, she was given the chance to be immortal, I think she would be tempted to take it because if she was immortal she wouldn’t have to worry about all the things plaguing her. That ticking clock feeling would be gone. But then she would think about her current loved ones and knowing that she would lose them would be too hurtful. She’d rather be with her loved ones and die, then live and be alone.

RAVEN - What sad song, poem or sonnet would they be associated with?

I don’t know many poems/sonnets and my mind always blanks for songs lol, let alone any sad ones, so I just searched around for some. This is a poem that I think would fit well with Dove. 

__

Immortality

By Clare Harner

__

Do not stand

     By my grave, and weep,

I am not there,

     I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints in snow,

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle, autumn rain.

When you awaken with morning's hush

I am the swift upflinging rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the day transcending night.

Do not stand

     at my grave and cry -

I am not there,

     I did not die.

WITCH - What are they readily willing to sacrifice to ensure their plans work? What is too much and how far are they usually willing to go?

Dove is very protective of people, especially loved ones, so she will not sacrifice people important to her for the sake of a plan. If it’s something very important like saving a loved one, Dove is willing to sacrifice anything relating to herself (including herself) to make sure it works. 

If a plan isn’t going well, she is willing to regroup and make a new plan rather than continue a risky plan that could get herself or others hurt. (If it’s possible anyways, some things are out of her control of course.)

HAUNTED - When they’re suffering are they willing to admit it? To whom? Why or why not?

Dove has a hard time asking for help. She feels guilty for it and doesn’t want anyone to be troubled or, depending on the storyline, getting hurt. She really tries to do things on her own or fix things on her own, but it doesn’t work all the time. She’ll probably only admit to needing help after she’s already burnt out or hurting (physically or mentally). She is also very selective about who she tells. It would probably be her older brother, a very close friend, or her significant other. She trusts them the most and she finds comfort in them, so just spending time with someone she loves eases the suffering.

PUMPKIN - Out of character real quick, what’s YOUR favorite part of Halloween?

This is so late…hahaha XD But my favorite part of Halloween is the overall atmosphere honestly. That time of year just feels so cozy to me. I love autumn already so I love the weather, but I also like seeing all the decorations and stuff. I also enjoy dressing up, even though I haven't really been able to in recent years.

Also, random story because why not haha - When my younger brother and I were young kids, we didn’t get to go trick-or-treating because we lived on a ranch and thus had no neighbors. So our parents would go to the front and back door, and we would go back and forth to trick-or-treat from either door haha. We did get to go trick-or-treating when we were a little older, around middle school maybe?, because we would go with an ex-friend of ours to their neighborhood, or we just randomly went to town to see where we could trick-or-treat haha

[elsecrytt]

To Live or Not To Live

Started writing a WiP from a while ago. Got closer to finishing it. Decided to start a whole new thing instead. Enjoy lol

Obey Me! Characters - to live or not to live? Each character's reaction to your humanity, mortality, and inevitable demise.

Except... I only did the four oldest brothers because I have WiPs to be working on lmao. Kiiinda tempted to do Diavolo and Barbatos but also... lol. is it really a question what either of them would do? XD

Lucifer - Live

Not even a question for him. Sure, he respects you - but also, deep, deep down, he respects Mammon, he respects Diavolo, and he still strings the both of them up whenever he thinks they fucked up.

If you want to become immortal, fantastic; even if you're with one of his other brothers, he's probably the one who organizes or assists with the process the most.

If you don't want to become immortal, well, you'll have forever to change your mind about that. If you'd died then you'd never be able to.

The oldest brother is no stranger to playing the villain. If you decide you hate him forever for making you immortal, he's hurt, he really is, and you can make him feel very very guilty... but he'd always do the same thing over again.

There's nothing in the world Lucifer would put above the lives of his loved ones. Not his feelings or your own.

He has made his peace with Lilith's death, but that doesn't mean he would ever, ever let anything like it happen again. It doesn't matter if you never forgive him; he would never forgive himself if he could have saved you, and chose not to.

Mammon - Live

He struggles a bit more with it. Of course, if you're willing to become immortal, he's over the moon! You might not realize it, but he worries about this more than you realize. The thought that one day, he'll wake up, and you won't be there... it haunts his nightmares.

If you don't want to do it? Mammon's going to be seriously torn. He'll argue with you a lot, and he's also not as persuasive as some of his other brothers could be.

But ultimately, if you don't agree, no matter what he says... he'll get Lucifer to make you immortal anyways. Mammon would be willing to lure you in a trap on his own, if he needs to, but if you're too clever for him to accomplish it without help, then he'll get help.

He can't do it. He can't watch you die again, hold your dead body in his arms. He wants to do so many things with you, he wants to spend so much time with you, and the handful of decades you get as a human just won't cut it.

Leviathan - Die

Our first death on the list. Leviathan doesn't have very good self-esteem on his own, and if the topic of immortality comes up, and you say you don't want to do it, he's immediately going to blame his own perceived unlikability.

Of course, who would want to be with a dumb otaku like him literally forever. That'd be way too much for anyone, let alone a normie like you. You'll probably get bored of him way before you die as a human anyways...

Whatever improvements you've made to his self-esteem, they're not going to fix literal thousands of years of self-deprecation and also being the avatar of envy. He won't take the news well.

Leviathan will do everything he possibly can to make you accept the idea - I doubt he'd actually be actively aware of the guilt slinging he's throwing at you with the whole "oh it's because you don't want me" stuff, but you can bet if he starts to think that will help you make the choice, he'll throw it at you, too - but ultimately, the choice is yours.

He doesn't have Lucifer's confidence, or Mammon's burning desire to fuel his opposition, so all that's left for him to do is respect your decision. He can't stand the thought of you hating him, let alone hating him forever.

Honestly? Possibly also, deep, deep down... At least, if he can't have you forever, himself... then neither will anyone else.

Satan - Die/Live

Satan would probably be the most persuasive one if you were on the fence with the decision. He probably brought the idea up to you in the first place.

If you decide to go along with it, he's going to very thoroughly research each method, the associated difficulties, benefits, etc. and will pretty excitedly discuss the research with you until you settle on one.

If you don't... he researches anyways, and tells you that you're welcome to change your mind whenever you want. Just because you don't like the idea now, doesn't mean your future self will feel the same way.

It could definitely be annoying, but he's not going to force anything on you, and he's much more comfortable to be around than any of his brothers.

Ultimately, if you decide you absolutely cannot become immortal, no matter what, Satan will respect your wishes...

...Until you actually do die, clinically, at least. He'll put his knowledge to use by resuscitating you, probably into an immortal, invulnerable, ageless body.

If you take any issues with that, too bad. You wanted to live out your mortal life, and he let you. Satan knows anger all too well, and he'll wait you out for centuries, for millennia - he has all the time in the world, now...

[johaerys-writes]

Writing Tag Game

I was tagged by @noire-pandora @midnightprelude @mogwaei @serial-chillr @faerieavalon @pinkfadespirit @inquisitoracorn and @in-arlathan thank you so much! :)

How many works do you have on Ao3?

On my main Ao3 blog: 23! I also have a second blog where I post works set in the Dragon Age-inspired Modern AU I've been writing with @oftachancer , featuring my OC Tristan Trevelyan and her OC Aran Trevelyan, as well as a few others of our OCs. There are 5 works there at the moment. You can check them out here: jo_writes

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

On my main blog, 516,722 words. On my second blog, 193,953 words, but the majority of it is co-written with @oftachancer .

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

High-Flying Birds: 589 kudos (TSOA)

Where Blood Roses Bloom: 467 kudos (Castlevania)

Winter's Fruit: 424 kudos (TSOA)

Like Friends Do: 410 kudos (TSOA)

Memories and Echoes: 327 kudos (TSOA)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always!! I don't think there's a single comment I've ever received that I've left unanswered. I just love talking with my readers and screeching in my replies. I often wonder whether I come across as a tiny bit insane or overly enthusiastic, but you know what? I am both, so who cares 😂 I just appreciate every single person that has taken the time to read and comment on my works, and I want to make sure they know JUST HOW MUCH 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I honestly don't think that many of my stories have an angsty ending? Most of them end on a hopeful or at least bittersweet note, I think. I'm pretty sure the only ones I've written that have sad endings were those in my Hector/Carmilla series, You Always Hurt The Ones You Love (CV) which were kind of dark and depressing anyway. 

Playground Love, the fic I've written with @oftachancer featuring our OCs Tristan and Aran ends on an angsty note, but things do get better in the next installment, Never Let Me Go, so I suppose I am a little allergic to angsty endings XD

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

The Stars Will Guide Us Home (TSOA, Modern AU) has a super soft and fluffy ending, and Fall Into Your Tide (TSOA, Merman AU) will have a happy ending too.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written? 

I've written a Witcher/Dragon Age crossover, Viper In Tall Grass, where Tristan is a witcher and Dorian a Nilfgardian mage which I thoroughly enjoyed! Also, one of the first long fics I ever finished was a Witcher/Wheel of Time crossover, which I think is genuinely the most... imaginative thing I've written 😂 I never posted it and don't think I will, but I still love it to bits and I'm super proud of myself for writing it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Kind of? It wasn't directed at me personally (I don't think) but at one of the main characters of the fic. Perhaps it was referring to the way I'd written the particular character, I truly can't say, it was a little vague. It takes a lot to offend me, but this really rubbed me the wrong way. I honestly think I would have been less offended if the person had criticised my writing rather than the character lol. I just don't take any shit when it comes to the characters I love. They're PERFECT, okay? How dare you come into my house and badmouth them 😂 RUDE

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell YEAH! I love writing smut, it's great. As to what kind, I think that porn with feelings describes it really well. The smut I write tends to get emotional real quick, even when I intended for it to be straight up porn, so I guess there's no hope for me, hah. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. 

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Yes, High-Flying Birds has been translated into Vietnamese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! With oftachancer, two novel-length fics (Playground Love and Never Let Me Go), as well as a few other WIPs that haven't been posted yet, and I'm currently working on a multi-chap fic with my friendo @in-arlathan , featuring Dorian/Tristan and Solas with her Elenara Lavellan, which I'm so excited about! I've also brainstormed and goblined-out over a couple projects with @mogwaei !!  I love co-writing, it's so fun :)

What's your all time favourite ship?

Oooh, that's a tough one. I'm super biased in that the ships I love are those I write (both canon and OC pairings) but if you held a gun to my head and asked me to choose I would probably have to say... Dorian/Tristan and Achilles/Patroclus? AAH this is too hard ;w;

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I do plan on finishing all of the WIPs I am currently working on. I have a lot of writing ideas that I don't think I'll ever get around to, but when I actually start writing something I tend to commit till the end.

What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions, introspection and angsty/emotional scenes I think are my favourite things to write. I also enjoy writing fight scenes a little too much (and judging by the feedback I receive on them people seem to enjoy them too, heh). Lastly, I've been told that the characters I write are complex and fleshed out and that my pacing is good, and that's honestly the best praise for me.

What are you writing weaknesses?

I struggle quite a lot with self doubt and perfectionism. I worry a lot about how my work will be perceived and whether it's good enough. I often agonise over small details or paragraphs/sentences, to the point where I sometimes post just so I stop myself from going back and editing indefinitely. I have thousands upon thousands of words in deleted scenes because "they weren't quite right" or I changed a tiny bit and the rest didn't fit. So. You get the idea 😅 (Now, how I manage to read through everything multiple times before posting yet still get typos... welp)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, I have to say that I do like it when there are foreign words interspersed through the narrative if the story isn't set in an English speaking world or if the characters speak a different language, but I'm not a huuuge fan of seeing a big chunk of dialogue in a foreign language without immediate translation or a hovering text. It kind of breaks the immersion for me and I tend to avoid it generally in my own writing.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age, and specifically DAI! That game never gets old for me.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

It's impossible for me to pick just one so I'm going to cheat and choose a few. I absolutely love my current WIPs: High-Flying Birds, Where Blood Roses Bloom and A World With You, and the freaking epic-length fics I've written with @oftachancer . They haven't always been easy to write (especially AWWY, which has the most intricate plot & character development) but I'm so proud of them and I've learned so much while writing them. Of my finished stories, The Stars Will Guide Us Home is hands down one of my all time faves. It had been on my mind for several months before I actually wrote it, and I poured so much of my heart into it. I still get emotional when I go back to reread it, not gonna lie! Lastly, At The Water's Edge (TSOA) is very dear to me and I often go back for rereads. 

I'm tagging forth to (no pressure!): @fancytrinkets @elveny @glimmerofgold @asiriushoe @juliafied @boshtet-juggler @schattengerissen @dafan7711 @tessa1972 @fandomn00blr @pikapeppa and anyone else who would like to join!

[alirhi]

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

[redwinterroses]

Could you do something with 3rd Life Joel?

Harley I saw your reply on my 2AM post last night and YES the weird Joel thing IS from your ask. XD I had no idea what to do with this originally because Joel has a lot of good moments but I really wasn't in the mood to do much angsty with him (Joel kind of... exudes anti-angst. He's just so factual about everything and the sarcasm is Off The Charts. I love it.)

But I was getting ready to sleep and randomly scrolled past a post about the myth of Black Shuck and the Wild Hunt and my brain was suddenly possessed by a wild spirit of fanfiction so.... Here. Have this Very Odd piece.

(It works best if you read it in a messy Irish accent, lol.)

(also this may be a lead-up to my Trickster God Scar and Archangel Grian thing someday. We'll see.)

~*~

The Wild Hunt

.

.

.

Listen here, child, and I’ll tell ya a tale: the tale of the Wolf King, and a Wild Hunt.

What? Ya know the story? Sit down and hush—you ain’t heard it the way I’ll tell it. And I should know: I seen him myself.

Would ya call yer old granny a liar? For shame. Sit down, you. Eat yer cookie. Listen.

(don’t pinch yer brother, ya nugget, or no more cookies for you.)

He were born out of flames and fire and smoke, y’see. Born when he died, t’be fair, but born in fire all the same. ‘Twas the Grave Maiden what set his roof aflame, she an’ her undead hoard, and of course the Trickster was there as well—fat lot o’ good that did the Wolf King. But he chose his bed, and he laid in it, and we all reap his dreams thereafter.

So there he were, all newly grey and smoulderin’ and his eyes a’burnt like coals and fire and his belly growlin’ for revenge. But he weren’t the Wolf King, not yet—he were then only a lowly red, with naught but one life—like you or me.

(how’d he start with more than one? Well he were a god, weren’t he? Or he were meant to be. No, I don’t know who choses them things—prob’ly the Archangel but don’t tell the cleric you heard that from me. He don’t like me puttin’ the Angel over the Trickster or the Red King. Clerics don’t have much imagination, y’see.)

So what did he do with his one life? With his one, bloody, beatin’ red heart? “Well,” he says, he says to himself, “I need me an army, if I’m gonna take down the Grave Maiden.”

(Shush, child, don’t spoil the story. Yer brother don’t know how it ends.)

“I need me an army,” says he. “But no one will ally with me, and if they did: I’d kill them anyway—” y’see, he had taste for blood, woke with it in his teeth, like any good wolf. “—I’d kill them anyway, the whole world is my enemy.”

So instead of allies, he went to the wolves. And he went to the great da wolf and the great mam wolf, and he says to them, he says: “Give me some of yer children, to fight in my wars.”

And of course the wolves said that was crazy, they weren’t gonna send their children off with some grey-faced red-lifer on a quest to fight the gods. But the Wolf King—

(No, he weren’t the Wolf King yet. No, I don’t know what he were called before. He didn’t matter before.)

The Wolf King—who wasn’t the Wolf King yet—bared his bloody teeth at them wolves and growled at them and said in the words of wolves that they could send their children with him, or he could take ‘em on his own.

Now, wolves is wise—remember that, nugget—wolves is wise, and wolves is knowing. And they looked at this red in front of them and they were knowing that he weren’t lying. And they looked at this red and they were wise and said “Fine, alright, you can take any of ourn that’ll go with ye.”

“Fair enough,” says he. And wolf pups ain’t so wise and so knowing as their parents—remember that, nugget, parents know more’n you give ‘em grief for—so he left with his army: a passel o’ young, foolish wolves.

(Well. Some might say they was foolish. Some might say they was grand and brave and the best wolves to be born on this earth. Some might say that they can be both. Don’t ya go askin’ the cleric though.)

So there he be, this Wolf King and his pack. His army: his teeth and his claws. And now, on moonless nights, ye can hear ‘em: forever huntin’ for the Grave Maiden and her Fallen One and her hordes—she’s his sworn enemy, ya know. But that don’t stop him fightin’ with the other gods too.

He loves to chase the Red King over the mountains—sometimes ya can hear them in the night, howlin’ back and forth at each other, the wolves runnin’ the King and his Hand over the peaks and into the desert dunes. And sometimes the Red King comes after him and the pack too, o’course, but that’s a story for another night and older ears. It’s a bit too sad for cookies by the fire.

(No, love—yer mum’d kill me if I sang the Fall of the Wolf King with yer brother here. He’s too young for that tale.)

He’ll never defeat the Grave Maiden, and he’ll never catch the Red King, and he’ll never burn down all the Flower Kingdom no matter how many times he tries: that’s the nature o’ the gods, y’see, and it’s what makes us happier creatures. ‘Cause they can never finish their stories—they’re trapped in a forever dance of give and take, alliance and war, love and hate. But it’s all real, an’ it’s all true.

And believe me or not but cross my one bleedin’ heart and hope to die (that’s another thing not to repeat in front o’ the cleric, ya hear me, child?): I seen him.

I seen the Wolf King. Just once, but that were enough.

I seen him under the moonlight, racin’ across the moors with his bayin’ army at his back an’ at his front an’ all around him: a sea of white fur, frothin’ about like foam on the surf. All their eyes were burnin’ in the moonlight—I swear it on the Dragon herself. Burnin’ red, they was, like the very flames the Grave Maiden lit. They looked right at me, and I knew—I knew I were his next kill.

(The Wolf King ain’t nice, child. Of course he ain’t nice. He’s mad is what he is. And madmen don’t make for good people to meet when you’re crossing the moors alone of a night, on yer way home from a dance in Crastleton.)

(What do ya mean ya don’t want a sad story? The sad part’s over, child—clearly I didn’t get gobbled up by the Wolf King’s pack, or else who’d be here tellin’ ya this story now, I ask ya? Sit back down with yer sister and listen.)

So I seen him over the crest of the hill, with the moon a silver ha’penny in the sky above and the stars all a-glimmer and a-shinin’ like the lights of the Widow’s crown. And they came down the hill and they swept over me—all them wolves, all glory and soft and fang and hot breath on me face and I closed me eyes—I did!—and just waited for them to gobble me up.

But ya know what happened instead? ‘Course you don’t, that’s why I’m tellin’ ya. Instead o’ teeth and claws and my one life bleedin’ out on the moor… I hears a voice.

No, he didn’t say nothin’, it weren’t words. The Wolf King don’t use human words no more.

But he were laughin’.

Imagine that! Imagine me, not so much older than you, love, alone out on the moor and ringed about by the Wolf King’s army all a’swirlin’ and boundin’ around me: and the Wolf King laughs.

I couldn't help meself, though I'll never know why: but I laughed too.

And then he grabbed me by me arm and we ran.

Oh, my children. If I live to be a thousand I’ll never forget that night.

(Don’t you repeat this to the cleric. Or yer mother. They both think I’m dotty as a bat as it is.)

The Wolf King and his pack run faster than birds can fly—faster than horses, faster than hounds. Faster than I could run, even then: but it didn’t matter. They carried me along, light as a feather and more nimble than a hare. Over the mountain, down the vale, through the ruins of the Flower Kingdom—yes, I’ve seen the Flower Kingdom, but only by moonlight and we didn’t stop, but I heard later that there was fires again so he must have gotten his bite at the Widow and the Soldier when I weren’t lookin’.

And all the while, the whole pack was howlin’. Howlin’ like the front gale of a nor’easter comin’ up the coast: the wolves was howlin’, and the King was howlin’, and Void take me if I weren’t howlin’ too, just like this—

(Oh hush, child, that weren’t even so loud. End’s all, if you ain’t a skittish little creature—get back here and eat another cookie.)

We ran all night, runnin’ and howlin’ and leavin’ fire and fang in our wake. But it couldn’t last forever, as the Wolf King only wanted me runnin’ with him as long as it was sportin’, and even with the wolves carryin’ me along I did get tired. More tired than I’ve ever been before or since, I don’t mind tellin’ ya.

So come mornin’, come dawnin’ of the next day’s sun, I find myself back on the road to Crastleton. My dress were in tatters and my feet were a bleedin’ mess of cuts and blisters that never did hurt, my hair tangled with wind knots and wolf hair, and my throat hoarse from howlin’.

And just before he left, him swirlin’ about with a millin’ mess of wolves around his feet, the Wolf King looked at me—looked at me, I tell ya—and gave me a grin that were full of as many teeth as there are leaves in a tree. He tossed me this, and then he were gone—sweeping up and away off the moor like nothing more than a ghost in a dream.

(Here, look at it. What do you think it is? I’ve always said it’s a claw, but what kinda creature has silver claws, I ask you? Give that back to me now, child—it hasn’t left me side in six times so long as you’ve been alive, and it’ll be buried with me if I can get someone other than the cleric to do the job.)

So of course the Wolf King is real! And so the Trickster and the Archangel and the Grave Maiden and the Widow and the Soldier and the Red King and the Hand and all the rest of them. If ye’re very, very good, and very, very lucky, mayhap you’ll even see them one day.

Because of course, they might be gods, child. But in one way, they’re just like you and me: they’ve got but one life—red and bloodied and barin’ their teeth.

And the Wolf King runs forever, chasing after the Grave Maiden and her Fallen One and even the Traitor when the mood strikes him. He’ll never catch her, but she’ll never outrun him either. The Wolf King hunts forever.

Now—you finish up that cookie and run outside. I hear your mama callin’ for you. And remember: we don’t tell Mama anything Granny says about the cleric, alrighty?

Alrighty.

Goodnight, children—sleep tight; don’t let the phantoms bite.

And just maybe—if you’re real, real quiet—you might hear the howling.

Howl back.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Is there any way I could bother you, good sir, for some sappy kakagai? No rush, you just provide the best stuff and Im in need of a fix lol

The Evolution of 'Turtle'

Words: 3482

A/N: I am sorry this took a while. I got the idea and really wanted to try and make something out of it even though it's ridiculous XD I hope it's enjoyable

Five

He can’t believe his eyes. How is it possible for a person like Maito Gai to exist? Were people just allowed to have the energy of a thousand puppies smushed into one tiny body?

How was he not exploding from the sheer force of energy?

“Come on, Rival,” turning in his spot, Gai gave him his signature thumbs-up pose. “We’ll spar right here.”

“Spar?” Tilting his head, Kakashi frowned. “Why are we sparing?”

“Why are we-“ The smile fell off of Gai’s face. “You can’t be serious. We’re rivals, Kakashi. The fires of rivalry cannot burn without competition.”

Fires of rivalry.

Competition.

None of it sounded any fun to him. He’d much rather be laying in a field reading a nice book. A field he was not in, though, and Gai looked so hopeful staring at him.

“Fine,” his shoulders dropped. “But don’t cry to me when you lose again.”

“I’m not going to lose,” Gai declared proudly. “Today is the day I'll win and prove to you that I can be just as strong as you!”

Kakashi couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Not because he didn’t think it was possible. He wasn’t dumb enough to ignore his father’s warnings about Gai’s determination. It was more of a reaction towards Gai’s unwavering confidence.

“You’re going to lose,” he grumbled under his breath. “Your reaction times are too slow. You move like… like a Turtle.”

Gai’s face dropped.

“A turtle?” He sounded wounded. As if Kakashi had just stabbed him in the heart with a Kunai. “A turtle!? Do you understand how cool turtles are, rival? You compare me to the coolest animal ever as an insult!?”

“Ah.” somehow Kakashi was not surprised by his friend’s reaction. Even in the face of insult, Gai managed to find a bright side to everything.

The energy of a dog, with the stability and stubbornness of a turtle. That was the only way Kakashi could think of to describe the other boy as he stood there pumping himself up for their spar. A strange mixture for anyone else, but somehow just perfect for Maito Gai.

Fourteen

A concussion. That’s what the doctors had said when they checked Gai over after his last mission. Everything else seemed to be fine with him, he just needed someone to watch over him for a day or two. Since Kakashi was benched from missions with chakra exhaustion, it only made sense for him to take the job.

It was also the first chance they had since Minato-sensei had placed him in Anbu to actually hang out, and if he was being honest with himself Kakashi sort of enjoyed it.

“Everything hurts,” Gai groaned beside him, both hands placed over his ears in an attempt to block out all of the sounds outside the small apartment. “Why is everything so loud?”

“I think that has something to do with the concussion,” his sass was quickly rewarded with a glare. A first in his years of being friends with Gai. “You really are in bad shape. Is your face even allowed to do that?” Surely he would crumble to dust if he wasn’t happy at all moments of the day.

“I’m serious, rival,” Gai huffed, turning his face away from Kakashi so that he could no longer see the expressions he was making. “Everything is so loud.”

“Well,” glancing towards the window, he sighed. There was nothing more he could do to block out the noise from outside. The window was already closed, and the blinds were drawn shut to block out the light. Whatever noise Gai was still hearing, it was the stuff that still managed to sneak through the walls. “Maybe you could put the pillow over your head?”

“No,” Gai huffed, glaring at him once more before realizing what he was doing and sighing. “I’m sorry, Rival. I just… I don't feel like myself.”

“As is expected.” Turning his attention to the book he was currently enjoying, Kakashi attempted to lose himself in the story once again.

Five minutes went by without issue. The odd groan or whimper from Gai forced him to look up and check on his friend, but nothing horrible enough that he was forced to lower his book and aid Gai.

Five minutes was a short amount of time, though, and before long Gai’s complaining evolved to ‘pitiful sounds of the dying’.

“Do you need me to grab you something?” He set his book aside, preparing to run off to the dango shop, or restrain Gai from jumping out of his bed to do some training.

“I just need the noise to stop,” another whimpered protest when the sound of children’s laughter filtered into the small apartment. “Why won’t it stop?”

As if it would help anything, Gai grabbed the top of the neck of his jumpsuit and pulled the elastic fabric over his head. Like a turtle retracting its head into its shell.

The sound that ripped out of Kakashi’s throat horrified him. A lethal mixture of surprise and laughter, his throat contracted in a poor attempt to stop the sound from escaping, resulting in a painful vibrating on the roof of his mouth and the most embarrassing sound he had ever made in his life.

“You-” placing a hand over his mouth, he attempted to control his laughter. The scene was just too hilarious though. There Gai sat, his jumpsuit pushed over his head covering his face, with his hair pushed upwards into a poor imitation of Kakashi’s regular hairstyle. “Gai, please.”

“What?” tugging his jumpsuit down just far enough to peek over the top, Gai narrowed his eyes when he saw Kakashi sitting there in front of him stifling his laughter. “ Rival, are you…laughing?”

Somehow seeing Gai with half of his face now visible was even funnier, causing Kakashi to curl into himself as the laughter took over. For years Kakashi had kept all of his emotions in check. Careful about what he allowed others to see, only cracking a little with random jokes or soft moments with his friends.

Today, he broke down completely. Years of repressed emotion came flowing out all at once in the form of pure, unrestrained laughter.

“You look-” gazing up at Gai, he wheezed when he was greeted with the exact same ridiculous sight that had pushed him into this fit of laughter. “Are you secretly a turtle?”

The thought didn’t seem too far-fetched. Perhaps Gai was picking up certain traits from his summons. Ningame always withdrew into his shell whenever someone was annoying him, or he needed to protect himself in a battle. Gai might have just spent so much time with the Tortoise that he had begun picking up those habits.

If that was the case, Kakashi would have to thank Ningame the next time he saw him. This was easily the best thing he had seen in the long, painful fourteen years he had existed.

“It’s official,” straightening himself up, he slowly began to wrestle his emotions back under control. “You’re a Turtle, Gai.”

“A turtle?” Gai narrowed his eyes. “So you’re calling me cool?” Cool. That really wasn’t the first word he thought of when he looked at his best friend, but he couldn’t help but agree with it just this once.

“Sure,” he nodded, a smile still plastered on his face as he stared at the other boy. “You’re the coolest Shinobi in the world, Turtle.”

The jumpsuit lowered a bit more. As if Gai was retracting out of his shell, examining the world around him to ensure it was safe to continue forward. “The coolest?” excitement Shawn in his eyes, though it didn’t last long. As soon as Kakashi’s words sank in, a look of uncertainty took over his face. “Wait…what did you call me?”

Nicknames weren’t something Kakashi used often. They served no real purpose, and using his friend’s names was simply easier.

“Turtle,” he repeated himself, smirking when Gai’s eyes widened. “Don’t like it?”

He doesn’t get a response. Once again retreating into the safety of his jumpsuit, Gai fell back against his bed with a squeak, his face safely hidden away from view while he processes the new nickname Kakashi has given him.

Kakashi would say it was a cute sight, but ‘cute’ is not something he believes is for him to enjoy. Cute is for other people. The ones who deserve that fuzzy feeling in their chest that comes with a crush.

The ones with far less blood on his hands.

So it’s not cute, but it is funny.

That’s a small thought he’ll allow himself to cling to.

Twenty-seven

Days off are a rarity for a shinobi. Often if one had time to relax it was because they had been injured on a mission, or that the Hokage was simply picking out the next mission for them carefully. Ensuring it suited their skill set.

Kakashi was not injured, and he wasn’t waiting on a mission any time this week. Lord Third had made it clear he wanted Kakashi to be a Jonin-sensei, and with the next batch of Academy graduates just around the corner, he had decided to hold off on sending the Copy Ninja on any missions until after assigning him his new team. As if he expected him to pass this lot.

So he had a day off. Nothing to complain about most of the time, but today Kakashi was bored. There just wasn’t enough for him to do to entertain himself for an entire week before he was due to get his new team. If only there was something or someone to entertain him.

“Rival!” As if hearing Kakashi’s unspoken plea, Gai showed up in front of him suddenly. A bright smile on his face and three little students trailing behind him. “You’re not away on a mission!”

“Lord Third refuses to give me one right now,” he shrugged his shoulders, unwilling to allow Gai to see the tinge of excitement he felt just seeing his best friend standing there in front of him. “Don’t you have training to do?”

“We just finished, actually,” Kakashi was unsurprised. Gai was someone who liked to do his training as early in the day as he could. It left the rest of his day open, and it wasn’t as if training did anything to the endless amounts of energy the man had. “I was taking my students out for some lunch to celebrate a hard mornings work, but since you’re here-” Leaning to the side, Kakashi ignored the protests his best friend made to his ‘cool attitude’ and stared at the kids behind him. Lee, Tenten and Neji. Gai’s precious students who he never stopped talking about whenever he was spending time with Kakashi.

The Copy ninja would be jealous, but he could understand Gai’s excitement. While teaching wasn’t a job he felt he was suited for, it was something Gai had been looking forward to for years. To finally be assigned a team was an exciting moment for the Taijutsu master.

“Tell me, my rival’s not being too hard on you three, right?” Whatever standards Gai set for his team, Kakashi was going to have to exceed with whatever students he ended up passing. If that ever happened.

Seeing an opening to gush about his Sensei, Lee closed his hands into fists and lowered himself into a semi-squat. A move Kakashi had learned from conversations with Gai meant Lee was excited.

Though he was pretty sure ‘excited’ was a constant state for the Genin.

“Gai-Sensei’s training has been nothing less than fantastic!” He shouted at the top of his lungs, not deterred a bit from his eagerness by his teammate’s sighs. “At this rate, I will be the best Shinobi in all of Konoha.”

“It would be best to temper your drive,” Neji sighed, turning his gaze away from Kakashi when he looked his way. “Skill is determined by destiny. You’re only setting yourself up for disappointment.”

“You know, I remember a kid in my class saying something similar to Gai years ago,” was he going to tell Neji that brat of a kid was him? No. That was unnecessary information for the situation. “As far as I can tell looking at your Sensei now, he was wrong. In fact,” he peered Gai’s way, chuckling when he noticed his best friend avoiding his eyes with a little smile tugging at the end of his lips. “I think your Sensei is almost stronger than me.”

Neji seemed to shove Kakashi’s advice off as if it was nothing. When Gai had mentioned the Hyuuga was a bit of a hard case, Kakashi hadn’t believed him.

Surely if he could get his act together, Neji could as well.

It seemed there was going to need to be one hell of a wake-up call for the kid to get his act together. Kakashi could only hope that whatever it was, it was far more forgiving than his own.

“Meh,” straightening himself up, he turned his attention back to Gai. “A challenge. I assume that’s what you were about to ask me for?”

Gai’s eyes lit up at the reminder. “Yes, of course!” He declared. “An eating competition. I will no doubt defeat you this time.”

If he were going off of the results of their last eating competition, Gai had no shot. The man had been so stuffed with Sushi he could barely move afterwards, and yet Kakashi felt like he could eat another three plates of the stuff.

For a man who worked out as much as Gai did, Kakashi was surprised he couldn’t eat more than him, but perhaps he would be proven wrong in his assumptions today. Gai was always full of surprises.

“How about Ramen?” A repeat of Sushi might result in a very sick Gai, and that wasn’t any fun. “If your hatchlings want to join, I might even be inclined to pay for their meals.”

“Hatchlings?” Tenten looks offended by the nickname. “What?”

“Do we look like turtles to you?” Neji huffed, grunting when Lee smacks him across the back.

“I like it,” With a proud smile, Lee gives Kakashi a thumbs up. “Although I do not understand why you would pick this nickname for us, it’s somehow fitting.”

Glancing back at Gai, Kakashi chuckled when he saw him looking away. “Should I tell them?” He asked, reaching out to poke Gai in the side. “Or is this something you want to keep to yourself? Our little secret?”

The only response Gai gives him is the tiniest of huffs. A challenge.

Do it. Tell them. See if I care.

If Gai thought he wasn’t going to hear that unspoken challenge and snatch it up, he was sorely mistaken. Challenges may have been the Taijutsu masters thing, but Kakashi wasn’t about to just back out.

He would be a rather poor Rival if he did.

“Ma, if you say so,” running a hand through his hair, he turned his back to Gai. “I’ll meet you at Ichiraku. Try not to take too long, Turtle.”

The sound of Gai’s protests follows him as he jumps into the air, but Gai doesn’t follow. How could he when he has three students who no doubt have a hand full of questions for him?

“Ten minutes,” he whispers to himself, smiling at the thought of Gai bursting into Ichiraku ramen wide eyes and ready for their challenge, his three hatchlings following close behind. Late, when they were alone in Gai’s apartment relaxing, that’s when Gai would scold him for using that nickname in front of others.

For embarrassing him in front of his precious students with such a goofy nickname.

Kakashi wouldn’t apologize. That would be admitting he had done something wrong, and there wasn’t anything wrong with the nickname he used for Gai. No matter how many times Gai told him it was a child’s nickname. Something they should have left behind them years ago.

It was rather amusing. For a man so determined to cling to his ‘springtime of youth’, Gai sure wanted to forget about that childhood nickname Kakashi had given him. Too bad for him, though, Hatake Kakashi was a troll who lived off of other people’s suffering.

Plus the nickname was cute. Kakashi would stand by that fact.

Thirty-one

Everything had worked out. The world was safe, the five shinobi nations were working together towards a more peaceful, prosperous world. Konoha was finally beginning to recover and move forward. With all of that and a new promotion, most people would be happy. They would look forward to a brighter, more hopeful future.

Hatake Kakashi was not most people.

The world around him was celebrating their victory and planning their future, while he sat diligently at Gai’s bedside waiting.

“Wake up,” a pathetic plea whispered into an empty room. “Please.”

Nothing changed. No matter how long he waited, or how much he begged, nothing ever changed. Gai continued to lay there in bed unconscious. The only sign of life was the rise and fall of his chest.

“How long do I have to wait?” an answer isn’t expected. At this point, he’d be surprised if he ever got one. “Are you ever going to wake up?” Would he ever get to see Gai’s blinding smile again? Or here that bright, boisterous laugh?

Was his last memory really doomed to Gai’s determined face telling him he was going to open the eighth gate? Cementing the fact that at the end of the day, Kakashi was doomed to lose everyone he cared about.

“Wake up,” he whispered once more, his eyes sliding closed as an overwhelming feeling of dread settled into his heart. “Come on, Turtle. There are still so many things to do. We had so many plans for old age. We were going to visit the hot springs in the land of tea.”

For years Kakashi had been looking forward to retirement. Something he once thought he would never see had suddenly become the only thing driving him to survive after Gai brought up the idea of a vacation. Just the two of them together enjoying the world like they had never been able to do as Shinobi. Travelling around, seeing festivals in all sorts of different places, and acting like children for the first time since they were five.

All of those things he had been looking forward to, suddenly gone. All because the world was more important than him.

Tears burned at the edges of his eyes. Emotions he had spent years carefully hiding away in the darkest pits of his soul bubbling over for the first time since he was a teenager. “Don’t leave me,” he choked on his words, struggling to speak openly even now. When everything was on the line. “I l-”

“Love,” the sound of another voice catches him off guard. Whipping his head up, he stared at Gai, breath caught in his throat. “Love you, too.” Seeing Gai’s lips moving, even if it was only a little movement, Kakashi straightened himself up and reached out to grab Gai’s hand, careful not to squeeze too tight.

“Turtle…”

Slowly, with the softest of groans, Gai began to open his eyes. For the first time in his life, Kakashi got to see just what Maito Gai looked like when he was exhausted. Not in pain, or suffering another horrible migraine.

Pure, horrible exhaustion. A feeling Kakashi knew all too well.

Somehow, Gai made even that look good.

“Hello, Rival,” his voice is weak, but deep down hidden behind the aches and exhaustion there’s that excitement Kakashi knows all too well. The energy of a man still in the springtime of his youth. “How long?”

A question they have asked each other far too many times over the years. One Kakashi hopes he’ll never have to hear again now that the Five Shinobi Nations were at peace. “Too long,” he muttered. “But it’s alright. We have years ahead of us.” For the first time in days, there was a future to look forward to. “Just rest, for now, Turtle.”

Gai laughed for a second, instantly regretting it when his body began to ache. With a pained groan, he turned his head just enough to stare at Kakashi. “Are you ever…going to stop…calling me that?” he asked, cringing every few words due to the throbbing ache deep in his bones.

“No,” Not a threat, but a promise. A promise Kakashi would keep at all costs to be ridiculous and dorky for the rest of his life. “You’ll always be my Turtle.” Was it cheesy? Of course. That’s what Kakashi loved about it. The best love stories were the ones full of cheesy lines and stupid nicknames.

His love for Gai might not be romance novel worthy, but as long as it was a cheesy, absurd love, it was perfect.

[aonogifreactions]

Hug Headcanons: Revisited

a/n: ive felt like i should rewrite this for a while now. i hated seeing those stuped ~180 words, so.. thats why were here! xD i added yukio to the mix as well, since ive gotten this ask >:) huge thanks to @no-remorse​, who beta-read it for me <33

Tiny edit: I’d love to hear the feedback for this one! <3

Warnings: Spoiler in the last headcanon in Yukio’s part!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Lucifer, Amaimon, Astaroth.

★ Words: 2,1k.

Rin:

no matter where, who’s watching, or what had happened before, he’s gonna give you a big, big hug! he absolutely lives for your hugs, it soothes him emotionally so much and works as immediate relief.

almost always his one hand wraps around your waist, while the other one goes on your head as he nuzzles into your neck; his hugs are always tight, almost as if you were about to get taken away from him - he doesn’t really feel like that inside, but.. he likes feeling that you’re here. present. for him.

after a fight, he immediately runs into your arms and almost makes you both fall on the ground as you nearly lose your balance when his arms wrap around you; feeling your embrace, your warmness.. something in his mind switches right away and he’s calm. he’s still shaking, but it gradually stops as he relaxes in your arms.

at first, he might be a little shy, but when he gets comfortable, he can’t keep his arms away from you. He just.. loves feeling you. hugs make him somewhat vulnerable, because he lets his frustration out, and at the same time - Rin gets an extreme dose of serotonin. He tends to place his forehead on yours just before he loosens his hold on you, and eventually moves on do to his things.

depending on your height, he still loves hugging the same! if you’re short - during hugging, he also places his cheek on your head, leaving a soft kiss on your hair. if you’re tall - he loves!! hugging!! into your chest!! or whatever he reaches!! he’s just snuggling into you like a madman.

he gets butterflies in his stomach when you hug him from behind and almost starts stuttering. (do it when he's cooking or sumn,, but u didn't hear it from me) 

also, please, PLEASE wrap your arms around his neck. he’s gonna MELT.

Yukio:

his hugs are rare, but it’s not like he doesn’t touch you - it’s just Yukio being Yukio; hugs make him vulnerable, similarly to Rin, except that it’s Yukio’s way to “open up” about his problems a little. It’s surely a very small step forward, but it shows that he's trying, yet he doesn’t realize how much it actually helps him.

he prefers to hug somewhere where there are not so many people around, not necessary in private completely, but as long as you’re the only one with him in the room, he’s down for a hug if he feels like it (or you beg him enough lol).

he’s usually silent during hugging, but he really “quietly” lets his frustration out, you might even catch him sighing. at first, he embraces you with only one arm and places his head on your shoulder, but when it hits him - the emotions, that he’s been waiting for years and now he’s finally able to tell someone everything - he’s almost crying, but he intertwines his other hand with yours instead. even though there are no real words shared, his love language involuntarily shows the beauty of his complicated personality.

now, he’s a little “unwilling” to hug you, mostly because of all that emotions crashing on him, but he feels so much better afterwards.. it’s unreal, he feels like you used some kind of magical spell on him.

the worst time to hug him is probably when he’s angry - and while it seems like a totally normal thing, it doesn’t work as comfort for him - it makes him even more upset, so it’s really best to leave him alone for some time. he knows your intentions are good though, so usually, he comes back to you with a calmed mind and apologizes.

I picture his S/O being in this mess in chapter 126, where the twins just beat the shit out of each other, and suddenly Yukio’s s/o comes up to him and stops from shooting Rin - he’d have that mental wall blocking him from hurting you in any way, just when he realizes he points his guns at your face or grabbing his hands and attempting to get Rin out of his target range - both of those things and any similar scenarios would end up with him looking at you with those beautiful, yet unfortunate eyes showing so much pain and sadness, along with that broken expression on his face, hoping to understand him.

Mephisto:

we’re gonna have fun here. hugging with Mephisto is pretty common, he likes touching you physically and doesn’t really care if people see it - he’ll push boundaries as far as he can, but unless it’s someone or something really important, he stops and gets serious. 

^unless it’s Arthur, he could politely knock on the door. Hearing the permission to come in, the first thing he sees is Mephisto hugging you with a hand on your lower back, heading dangerously onto your ass while casually giving him random papers and smirking at him. wow.

if you think the twins’ grip was tight, Mephisto’s gonna literally try to squish you into his body - it’s not hugging if your bodies aren’t touching themselves in EVERY possible way. You could be practically glued to him and he won’t complain - in fact, he’s gonna have that shit-eating grin and tease you by saying “hmm, aren’t you needy, darling? you can’t be away from me even if I work!” (even if.. it was him who called you over...)

he GETS handsy and you can’t do anything about it. and he really does it on purpose, just to tease you and see how much time it takes for you to get either horny or snap at him. nonetheless, he likes to place hands around your waist or just on your hips, then shove you into him, so he’s able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

hugs definitely show his rather “softer” side, the silly one - but he also doesn’t hesitate to hug you when he’s serious; these hugs, however, tend to be quicker but more intimate. even if it’s just him standing next to you and placing his hand on your hip while watching the dark sky, stars flickering slightly as you feel a slight, cold breeze hit your face; you look at him, wondering what he’s thinking about, this incredibly sharp mind with hundreds, perhaps thousands of different thoughts. Is he reflecting? Reminiscing? Regretting? or is his mind wandering around some silly thoughts? Yet you’re the one left wondering, not noticing his emerald eyes have focused on yours a while ago. You take your eyes off him, slightly embarrassed, hearing only a faint chuckle and feeling his grip tightening on you as you two once again gaze at the glittering galaxy above you.

Lucifer:

due to his body being not as strong as Mephisto’s - he’s usually down for cuddling instead. however, when some of the elixirs do their job, he’s gonna give you hugs pretty often.

prefers to be in private when he really wants to give you a genuine hug; he doesn’t want to show others he fell for the trap named “love”. he lets himself be a hypocrite about it, for once (ekhem satan and yuri).

Of course, tiny hugs wouldn’t be forgotten while attending stuff anywhere else on Dominus Liminis, but they’re just quick hugs when you walk past him. he isn’t ashamed of you by any means, in fact, he’s proudly walking along with you most of the time, having a hand either on your waist or interlaced with yours.

Lucifer’s hugs are very, very confident and send butterflies to your stomach - he radiates that strong energy to make you feel secure in his arms - the world could be falling, but as long as you’re in his arms, he’ll do anything to protect you from any harm, even if this means losing his precious body.

sometimes he hugs you in his own, unique way - he interlaces both of his hands with yours and places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and sighing softly. while you might think it’s not really a hug, it’s definitely a very sweet gesture. you can get a kiss on the temple or a few sweet and uplifting words whispered in your ear too, if he feels particularly affectionate that day.

his views on physical contact are... a little bizarre; he’s confused and doesn’t fully understand the purpose of it, yet - he will admit it’s quite satisfying. feeling your lover is definitely something that feeds the feelings he’s had deep within him. he might be a little stiff when you introduce him to this too, no matter how many times he’d seen humans do it - experiencing it for the first time is new to him, but surely it is something he grew to enjoy.

 so what’s that “hugging” thing again? you just wrap your arms around someone and.. that’s it? are you supposed to just stay like this? how long? - that’s pretty much half of his thoughts going through his head when he hugs you.

it takes him quite a long time until he “learns” it just “makes him feel better”. he understands (kinda) the idea of it, but deeper down, he’s still pretty puzzled.

In the early stages of hugging, Amaimon didn't realize how strong his hugs were - if he didn’t break any bone of yours, then it’s a miracle. As soon as he noticed you almost passing out, he stopped and the guilt of possibly causing you harm has kicked in, so he promised you to make it up the best way he can.

Amaimon doesn’t realize it - but as time passes he grew used to hugs! Especially greeting hugs, which at this point he doesn’t realize he gives  - it’s become a habit of his.

not a fan of long hugs - to say it bluntly, he becomes bored if it lasts too long (unless there’s been a fight beforehand, in this case, he understands you want to regain the sense of security that physical body is able to give). he likes quick hugs instead, which he gives more often.

Amaimon’s hugs are pretty simple - he wraps his arms around your waist and that’s.. pretty much it. He might rub your back sometimes, but to be honest - he just likes the simplicity. Funnily enough, when Behemoth notices you hugging, he also wants to participate! Tiny demon bounces your way and while it’s near your leg, he starts clinging to it and nuzzling himself (Amaimon’s kinda >:((((((( when he sees Behemoth snuggling, but it’s his boyo so he forgives him).

However, Amai gets really mad when he sees you hugging someone else than him. Unless it’s a close friend or family member, he’s.. somewhat accepting this, but if it’s someone he doesn’t know - he’ll either try to fight them or take you bridal style in his arms and just go away.

He also gets awfully handsy, which he probably picked up from Mephisto. His one hand might slowly slide down to grope your ass cheeks; when you look at his face questionably, he’s just gonna place the other hand on your ass as his answer.

Astaroth:

his understanding is even worse than Amaimon’s, so he’s initially against it. he doesn’t understand the purpose of it and it's very hard to convince him otherwise, saying something along the lines of “if you need your “physical contact” we can fuck on the counter”.

continuously asking him would only make the situation worse, as he’d get annoyed more each second, eventually making him leave the house for a few days. one situation, however, changed his mind the most - he’s once lashed out at you, leaving you crying. he left nonetheless and waited a few days until he cooled off. feeling bad for his actions and regretting doing it for once, he came back, but instead of confronting you - he left a withering rose with a note.

he’s learned a little bit from that situation - seeing that you accept his quirks, he decided to try out some of your ideas - including hugging. and oh boy, how wrong he was.

he will NOT admit he likes hugs for his life; very “tsundere” approach to it, but you can catch his face being relaxed sometimes.

his favorite hug is.. hugging you from behind! whenever you’re cooking or being busy just in general, he loves surprising you with a hug, encircling his hands around your belly as you flinch slightly, not expecting him. as an apology, he places a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

due to him being nasty, you gotta bear with his dirty-talking he’s “performing” every time he hugs you. he also WILL tease you by groping your chest with no shame, attempt to give you hickies, and after a while - move his hands dangerously near your chest.

[ontowanderlust]

Shaw+family life?

Thank you. Your prompts are AMAZING.Just wanted to let you know. 😊

Family., n.

He's not blind. Anyone can see the hints she had emitted even from a thousand meter away.

She's not afraid to voice out the things she had set her sights on, and she's stubborn enough to stick to her decision when she's made up her mind, especially when she made up her mind.

He knew all these things and yet, he foolishly allowed her to simmer in her thoughts until she found the courage to bring it up.

“Don't you think it's time to start for us to have a baby?”

“And where did you get that crazy notion from?”

“I'm just saying, I think it would be great for us-”

He scoffed at his carelessness. He should've been forthcoming, he should've been clear right from the start.

“I don't want a family.”

He didn't mean to sound so harsh, for his voice to turn icy cold as he cut her off. There wasn't any excuse and he had no plans of taking back what he said, no matter what but seeing that devastated look on her face, he couldn't help but wishing for a do over.  

He had hurt her and he couldn't stand it.

Was that the reason he fled? Leaving her all alone in that apartment of theirs, stunned and confused. Or was it perhaps he couldn't bring himself to tell her the flashes of darkness that looms over his mind, accompanied by the remnants of biting threats, harsh whispers of hatred and disgust followed by the reverberating sound of shattered glass and agonized cries?

How can he tell her the nights where he'd lay with his eyes open, the hazy images of a woman with broken smile and tear-streaked face, pitifully reaching over to him and a vague mirage of a man whose back is turned against him- them, haunting him until morning?

He didn't know for how long he sat there, hunched in a random bench just nearby. All he knew was the weather had greatly shifted to his mood, small rumble of thunder can be heard as raindrops descended onto him, soaking him immediately.

A baby. A family.

People like him doesn't deserve one. He already had a fucked up one, he doesn't feel like adding more to it. Not when it could taint her, turn her into an empty shell like his mother. He couldn't bring himself to do that to her.

He'd rather have her hate him than having a broken family in the long run.

Because that's what it was to be a family right?

Okay, let’s all put the pitchforks down folks and I’m gonna explain myself before I get executed here. 

I think... I can see Shaw as someone who is haunted by his past and while he’s too young, he would have an idea of what his family is like and this would distort his perception with the concept of family. He and Gavin deserved better childhood, imo. If you’re gonna ask me if I HC Gavin to be like this too, *shrugs* who knows. 

Now, okay there’s no genre and I know it says family life but I just couldn’t resist putting ourselves in the angst train and as much as I wanted to end things on a lighter note, I don’t think it’s possible given as to what just transpired. SO! Anonymous corp., your task is to give me a word that will make me able to imagine a possible ending for this story- a word when defined would give us all the fluff we need. And I don’t mean Family life part 2 + Shaw + fluff. XD There are so many words in different languages, it needs to be recognized.  

Okay, I’m done your honor. Get your pitchforks ready now. 

One last thing: to the anon, thank you so much for your kind words. Truly, you’ve made my day and here I go repaying you with angst lol. I’m sorry! Forgive me please! 

These prompts give me something to look forward to and I’m glad you guys appreciate the prompts and my writings. There are also people who’re working on these prompts so go give them some love too! 

That said, send in some more prompts!

MLQC Dictionary Prompts

[salmonthestoryteller]

20 questions, writer's edition

I was tagged by @lambourngb - This was harder to fill out then it first appeared, btw.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

118

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

516,223.  I never looked that much at my statistics page before so that’s exciting to look at.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh my gosh, so many.  25 different ones on ao3, 9 more that were never cross posted from the pit of voles, and at least 5-10 fandoms from prior to either of those sites.  LJ, Yahoo Groups, BBS boards, etc.    A partial list includes: Roswell New Mexico (2019) (My most prolific with 40 fics on ao3 and more here on tumblr I never cross posted there.), Hetalia, Yuri on Ice, Supernatural, Samurai Warriors, Uta no Prince-sama, Voltron, Shadowhunters, My Hero Academia, Pirates of the Caribbean, Animal Kingdom, The Old Guard, The Walking Dead, Dynasty Warriors, The Witcher, Xyber 9, Shadow Raiders, Mummies Alive, Babylon 5, and Star Trek.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes (The Old Guard) (Yeah, I had this one on anonymous for awhile.) 

Until the TIme is Through (Roswell New Mexico) (Part of my Canon Divergent To the Moon and Back Series) 

I Want You (Roswell New Mexico) (NSFW Malex) 

Crash and Burn (Roswell New Mexico) (Part of my Canon Divergent To the Moon and Back Series) 

Snow (Hetalia) (NSWF IvanxAlfred) 

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’m torn between three actually:

Dormant (Hetalia)  I always say I love two endings, happy endings and greek tragedies, but I rarely write the greek tragedies.  Dormant is one of my exceptions.  Hetalia has one character who is hinted at being immortal, and I took that and wrote a fic about an Extinction Level Event and him watching the other characters die around him while he can’t.  I’ve always been really proud of this fic, despite it being one of the saddest things I’ve ever written.

Unclean (Roswell New Mexico)  Which is almost the darkest fic I’ve ever written.  It’s about Michael’s time in the home of the “Fundamentalist Religious Freaks” and the exorcism he mentioned.  It ends after the drifter and is very much hurt, no comfort.

Hell is… (Roswell New Mexico)  This is a ficlet I wrote for a prompt.  And it’s a dark take about what could have happened to the pod squad if they’d been caught after the murders.

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Almost all my fics have happy endings.  So, what is the happiest?  Probably either:

Deck the Halls (Roswell New Mexico)  An Echo & Malex Christmas fic that is as fluffy as a fic that involves the Pod Squad, Christmas, and being attacked by anti-alien paramilitary groups can be.  (Also, Echo has a cat called Grisabella the Glamour Cat because Max should not be allowed to name anything and nobody can convince me that wouldn’t be absolute canon in a committed Echo relationship.)

Or

In Over Their Heads (Yuri on Ice)  A Seungchuchu with a fake engagement and unrequited feelings that aren’t actually unrequited. (And where Sara is Seung’s best friend because apparently I always write them that way and have no regrets.)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I don’t write crossovers.  Because I rarely find myself sold on the idea that the two stories exist in the same verse or can think of a way the characters would interact that would inspire me to write a fic.

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, and pretty much anything.  M/M, F/F, M/F, and Poly.  Plus a large variety of kinks.  (Yes, I was often on kink memes back in my LJ days.)

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to?  I used to never respond because I didn’t know what to say, and then I tried to respond to every one, but there would be long gaps between when I checked and then I felt bad for responding so late, and sometimes I still don’t know what to say so I just end up not replying.  XD

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Surprisingly very little.  Some harsh criticism - one in particular actually hit young me hard enough to stop writing for a while back in the day.  But I tend to get more hate for my meta than my fics.  Which is odd since my fics are usually very much representative of my meta.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Only one - a Dynasty Warrior fic of mine about the bond between CaoCao and Xiahou Dun was translated into Chinese.  I mean, Dynasty Warriors is a video game literally based on The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which is based on chinese history, so for someone to want to translate one of my fics about it was incredible to me. Links below.

Honor 

Translation: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4589910

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.  I would probably drive a co-author nuts, tbh.  I’m so inconsistent.  And at the same time, I have a thousand thoughts.

14. What's your all time favourite ship? to write for?

I don’t actually have one?  RNM has become my top fandom to write for, there’s no doubt.  And while I think Malex is in the most fics among them, I’m not sure if that number surpasses other ships in other fandoms I’ve written for altogether.  In fact, according to ao3, only 15 fics of my 40 RNM even have Malex in them at all, and not all of those are Malex-centric.  In fact in at least 3, they’re a side ship.

I’d say that I probably write almost as many fics that are gen, friendship, family/found family feels, and character introspection as I do shipping fics.  Which doesn’t really leave room for any one ship to be at the forefront.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

None, I hope.  LOL.  There’s definitely a few that I have left uncompleted for a long time and feel guilty about but I’m not ready to say I’ve abandoned them yet.  There’s a ton of ideas I have written down that I may never actually write.  But none I have started that I don’t want to finish.

16. What are your writing strengths?

The three consistent compliments I’ve gotten are:  I capture the characters’ voices in my dialogue.  My writing tone is unique.  My smut is super hot.  XD  (I have no explanation for the last one, because to be honest ¾ of my smut is always foreplay.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes.  I have been told before that my action scenes are very confusing.  Also, I rarely give physical descriptions of people’s appearances because I honestly rarely stop to consider what they’re wearing or how their hair is done.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It’s common in a couple of fandoms of mine, and I actually don’t mind it. Depending on the fic, it can be more realistic to me than otherwise.  (I just appreciate it when the translation is also provided.)

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  But I never posted that one.  Um… I think Ranma ½ was the first one I ever posted for others to read?

20. What's your favourite fic you've written?

Oh, gosh. Um… I know at one point I listed Dormant.  But I think right now if I had to choose I’d say either

School of Hard Knocks (Roswell New Mexico)  Which is my Michael-centric fic set in the lost decade.

Or

Duty First (Shadowhunters)  My Magnus and Raphael “missing scene” from 02x20.

Tagging @manesalex @lovecolibri @islndgurl777 @ninswhimsy 

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x22 Only You

Does that mean Storybrooke’s magic is gone now that Rumple has tethered it to the crystal?

Well, I guess he can’t have taken all of it or Regina wouldn’t have been able to teleport etc.

Henry’s relationship with magic is like a freaking rollercoaster. At first, he thinks it’s the best thing in the world, then he hates it so much he wants to destroy it, then it’s the best thing in the world, then he tries to destroy it, then it’s the best thing in the world! But that’s kids for you, I guess! I’m sure I was like that and still can be. Come to think of it, would putting dynamite in the well in season 2 have destroyed magic?

Is that needle that’s put dozens of people under a sleeping curse the same one Maleficent used on Aurora?

Henry’s literally so powerful. I wish he could use his author powers more.

How is taking the crystal out of SB gonna destroy magic in SB?

Oh, so Rumple tethered the magic but didn’t technically absorb it from the town, so they can still use it.

Why can’t Regina text Henry to say that destroying magic would destroy SB? 

Guess they can go over the town line now, for the first time in like forever. But I guess Emma & Regina & Henry could already cross the threshold, possibly Violet too as she didn’t come over with the first curse. And then the others are brought to New York by a portal. 

Oh! So that’s why they can use magic in the lwom? Because Henry brought the crystal aka all the magic of Storybrooke there.

Aww. Henry and Violet are cute. I just wouldn’t recommend reading the Henry and Violet book if you appreciate their relationship in the show.

Oh, thank God. Zelena does promise to bring baby Robin to visit her brother Roland! I need them to have known each other growing up! I bet they’re really close. And Roland is just as sweet as ever and has to stop his sister being reckless. The Hufflepuff to her Slytherin (+ Gryffindor tendencies), if you will. And I need fics where Roland doesn’t grow up to be vengeful and angry. Once a Hufflepuff cupcake, always a Hufflepuff cupcake.

Did Regina agree to Roland going back to Sherwood Forest? I’m surprised she didn’t adopt him. It must have been the Merry Men’s decision because no way would they take orders from Zelena. 

Aww! Roly kissing his baby sis!! I’m gonna miss you Roly!! Literally the most adorable kid! Aww and Granny kisses him on the head too! I die!!

Look at his little mittens!!

I’m guessing he doesn’t know she killed his mama but maybe he knows that she posed as her and in a strange way enjoyed his time with her? I mean, I guess you can say that as Marian Zelena did, at least, take care of Roland and bond with him. Maybe she always wanted to be a mother? Still doesn’t excuse her killing Marian and posing as her. Just trying to make sense of this hug. Maybe Roland is just super forgiving! And you can say it’s cause he’s a child but let me tell you, I was so much less willing to forgive really terrible things as a child than I am now. 

Omg. They all fell so hard through that portal! Ow!

Emma’s genuinely worried Regina’s gonna put a sleeping curse on her.

Baelfire was trying to destroy magic in New York?

Ron used sellotape to try to fix his wand, so why not?

Omg Davis Bloom, love of my life! Well, it’s Hyde but this guy loves to play literal monsters! Listen, before Once Upon a Time, Smallville was my hardcore special interest show. I rewatched it so many times since I was 9! Anyway, Chloe was my favourite character and I’d always been a Chloe x Clark shipper and then Davis came along and Chlavis became my otp. He loved her so much! He gave her the love and attention she deserved! Yes it was messed up but that’s what 12-year-old me was and is here for! My mum and I were so excited when we found out the actor was gonna be in Ouat! I loved Davis to bits and ngl, was highly attracted to him (as was my mama), so excuse me as I continue to be thirsty over Hyde.

Back to the rewatch!

Hyde strangling people is my jam lol.

Snow, my girl, you really can’t keep a secret. She darn told Hyde about the Dark One’s love being pregnant! Oh well, love her anyway. And also, she was 10.

I’ll never forget, I once cut my eye and it legit looked like one of Hyde’s but scarier. It was so frightening to look at and really uncomfortable, but it healed eventually. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it. But it looks cool and sexy on Hyde xD. 

Is that the same book Tilly finds at Henry’s place in 7x14?

Regina: “like with Hook, my first impulse was to rip his throat out.” Jesus Regina! You’re saying that to the woman who just went to the Underworld for Hook and thought she’d lost him forever. He’s someone she loves. That’s intense! As someone who’s been told by a loved one, threateningly, that they are (completely seriously) going to violently kill another loved one, several times, that is so not cool. Luckily no one was killed though, it’s okay. 

I recently read a really interesting meta about Regina’s motivation for redemption being intellectual. Like she says here, she doesn’t want to do good. She hates doing good but she knows that villainous acts won’t get her her happy ending and so she reasons that in order for things to go less awful for her, she must to good. She doesn’t do it because of empathy, guilt or regret, she does it because she figures it’s what the heroes are doing and things are going right for them and because if she goes back to her evil ways she knows she’ll lose Henry and her new and only support network. I think the same can be said for Zelena’s motivations to do good. No shade, just an analysis.

Well at least she’s using the word “I” to express that she did those things. But, she seems more concerned about those things hanging over her than for what she did to her victims and how they felt and suffered.  She even seems more upset at the fact that she has lost a love again than the fact that Robin lost his life and his kids have lost their father.

Hmm. Interesting. She seems to suggest here that before she didn’t know the difference between good and evil. You know what, that could be true because she didn’t really get why people called her the ‘Evil Queen’ and then there’s the fact she was raised by Cora and Henry Sr. Cora probably warped her perception of good and evil and her father positively reinforced a lot of the evil Regina did and didn’t explain to her why the things Cora did and the lessons she taught were wrong.

Why are all those stories in the library? That makes no sense. 

There’s a problem. If the grail is the origin of all magic and Merlin found it around 1500 years before the present (apparently Merlin was a runaway slave too. Of course he flipping was!), how comes Gothel and Seraphina had magic thousands of years ago? I mean, I suppose they were from another land (that Gothel killed almost all the inhabitants of), so I guess people just don’t know magic didn’t originate from the grail. I mean, since the God’s had magic before the grail, and nymphs possibly have relations to gods, I suppose it makes sense that Gothel had magic but then, what about Seraphina? How does she have magic and how did she live so long? Did Gothel cast a spell on her that made her practically immortal or was she already immortal?

Well, that was easy for Rumple lol.

Transforming looks really painful.

The thing is. They shouldn’t have separated Jekyll from Hyde. I think it would have been cooler if they hadn’t. Sure, they can make Jekyll the true villain but why not have the heroes try to save Jekyll as Hyde thwarts their plans at every turn to the point where they have to agonize over hurting Jekyll to defeat Hyde. The same can be said for Regina. Don’t split them up! Just have Regina transform into the Evil Queen so you can’t tell when she’s Regina and when she’s the EQ working on her evil plan. That would’ve been really fun to watch and to try to figure out which persona she was and when! Also, they should have just made Jekyll transform when emotionally compromised rather than when taking the potion because without an assistant Jekyll could have easily lived without Hyde ever returning. 

I hate the look of that wand.

Hydes theme sounds so awesome!

Also, it would have been really cool to explore the Land of Untold Stories. It looks so rad!

How can Hyde summon the portal? Don’t you have to have enough dark magic?! I guess maybe his strength and durability are enhanced by dark magic?

Rumple, I don’t think Belle can here you in that box.

Can I marry Hyde now? I want to marry Hyde. 

[x-exo]

*slides into your asks with a rose in my mouth* why hello, tis me!

Apologies for the long wait but your favorite long asks anon is here and OOF so much has happened. Let us break it down one by one lol

Monsta x our beans, welp we can officially say we are army wives for them because shownu is now at the military and just welp this feels weird lol. I lowkey forgot he was meant to enlist so when the news came out I went through so many emotions. Its why the latest comeback feels a bit bittersweet to me. It is their BEST for sure and for this year, I agree so to not see him perform right before he left is a bit sad. I don't blame him of course (if anyone does i am fish slapping you) but just a shame. I'm happy we do get content with him still? Seems pre-planned so that is nice!

Onto legends exo, fantastic comeback. I cannot stop listening to the album, its just bops full of bops to me. They broke so many records and I'm over here sipping my tea because fudge yes. It isn't a full member comeback, 2 of the members featured in the comeback are off playing call of duty and they still did THAT. While having lay properly in the comeback!? (Or at least some form, better than tempo era!) Kyungsoo my beloved, the man that can swoon you off your feet, his proper solo album. Omg I am just in love? The album feels like a Playlist that you hear while taking a walk or on a raodtrip? I love it, I just love everything about this with how much thought was given. It makes me feel warm and I'm so proud of him (I think he even got a first win) but sadly xiumin got the it shall not be named virus D: I feel so bad and I can only hope he gets better! It makes me worried because I keep seeing more and more idols getting sick and I can't help but wonder why don't the kpop entertainment just put a pause with stuff? Of course that is VERY unrealistic, I am aware that is naive for me to think but its just so idk how to word it properly (my English brain is not working I am sorry) I cannot help the feeling of while I get people are being safe and yes we need to still live like normal beings, is it worth risking idols health just for some entertainment? Idk how to explain my thoughts properly but maybe I hope I made sense!!

Onto svt! That is perfectly fine to not vibe with a comeback! I will admit, I didn't fully vibe with this comeback and it shocked me because every comeback was a hit to me. Even fear, left and right or homerun where I know many fans were split on, I liked but RTL was a grower. For me, listening to it without watching the mv, helped it alot and it is a song I like. Is it their best? No I don't think so but it is alright to say "hey I didn't bop to this, not my cup of tea" (imo I blame the mv? The mv REALLY didn't do the song justice at all, I am sorry if I sound like a fake fan but this mv Just is bad in all aspects. Sure we have some pretty shots but like it just doesn't fit at all?) So if anything listening to the song or wishing the live performances does it better. Seeing the choreography amps the song up more, cannot go wrong with their dancing. As for the rest of the songs, I admit game boy is my top favorite? Idk if it is because I am a gaming nerd and found all the production of the song so creative but yeah. We can wait for the next comeback! Svt always have something up their sleeves, plus we do have their music projects to look forward too (I wonder when we will get one? Seeing as RTL promotions stopped) some positive news with the boys is they resigned like a year before their contract ends and I'm a bit emotional :') I'm excited to see the boys future projects. We did have caratland recently! Did you watch it if I may ask? We did get in the soop confirmation so I'm excited to watch that, the boys deserve that nice break (even if it was filmed for a show fjsbsns)

Ok I think that is it for kpop updates? XD I do hope life has been treating you kindly! Life has been a bit all over the place sadly so I hope it wasn't like that for you as well! Until next time my bean!

hii!!!! omg sorry for the late reply i've been pretty busy these days 🙈

indeed so much has happened! and much more since you sent this ask omg!!

our shownu is at war *looks into the distance* *wipes away tear* *sighs* by now I got used to enlistment news (see what happens when you stan 2nd and 3rd gen groups) but STILL [[IT HURT]] when they uploaded the monchannel videos of his goodbye day like ????? what kind of twisted mind diuhdfuihdifuhs but the boys were all so cute and soft but they seemed so sad they didn't want to let go of their super leader :(( I hope he's learning lots and making new friends (and also we've got our international super spy yoo kihyun giving us small updates on him every now and then so everything's fine!). Yeah I totally get you it felt empty without him this comeback and at first it didn't really clicked with me but when the enlistment news came out i understood he had to take care of his health and thoroughly check on his eye sight in order to be 100% ready for the military so it made sense he had to be absent :( everything was so close (the comeback and enlistment) that I'm sure there was no other way for doing it I'm pretty sure he couldn't maybe postpone the enlistment day any further

onto exo! my ksoo my soft boi my romantic boi 🥺 his album is so him SO HIM i can't explain it bur it's just HIM you know it's the type of album you'd play on loop on a summer afternoon when you've taken your papers and paints outside in the garden to paint a bit with the warm soft breeze moving the trees lightly 🤧 and he signs in English and SPANISH (he did it for me) my multilingual king he's a native. Also I've been watching Honeymoon Tavern with Jongin these days and OMG i could d word for him really (if you haven's watched it go do it when you have time) he's SO SOFT and SO CUTE and he works as a waiter and a wedding planner and helps with the room preparations and is also a tour guide and he's just so cute so happy al the time the way he interacts with everyone is so 🥺🤧😭 onto more serious stuff now: yeah i was so worried about minseok catching covid omg but i'm glad he went through it with our any major complication and the rest of the boys are safe too! I guess the industry doesn't stop bc that would mean a huge loss of thousands and thousands of dollars/won/etc so as long as the gov doesn't prohibit going out or gathering like at the beginning of the pandemic, they'll keep on going with the idols' schedules otherwise the industry would just shut down having no way of earning money to sustain all the companies and idols.

as for seventeen! yeah i like the songs too! the mv sure ruined rtl and listening to it without watching it has really helped it grow on me more but still it feels kind of meh to me idk i really like anyone i think it's my favourite from the album. AND NOW WE'VE GOT A COMEBACK IN OCTOBER!!!! yayyyyy i can't wait they seem to be preparing very diligently (i hope they release a sexy bop) it's a shame junhao aren't gonna be present for this comeback but i'm soooooo happy they have the opportunity to visit their families again omg they have spent 2 whole years without seeing them in the flesh they must be so happy to get back to them again!!! it's so funny seeing them be bored at the quarantine hotel and doing lives every day duhdfiudhfiuh i hope it passes quickly and they can see their loved ones finally! and I did watch Caratland!! omg the unit switch song was the best thing ever hhu doing lilili yabbay and not being able to stop laughing idfuhdifuhs perf team doing chocolate and owning it????? hello??? performance team more like main vocal team wow! and the vocal team being a complete mess during check in lmaooo i loved it! In The Soop has finally started!!! I love these kind of "normal life" concepts I love seeing the boys being themselves cooking and relaxing I've watched the first and second eps as of today and also few clips from the third and omg mingyu and jeonghan drowning in the pond dfuhidfhidfs lmao they're so dumb i love them 🤣 i'm glad they could go away for a few days and spend time together away from their hectic schedules!

I hope you're well now and if not hang in there it'll all pass soon enough! 🥰💕 bye bye!!

p.s.: I got your request for the svt this or that gifset and i promise i’ll do it one day i just don’t feel like giffing these days dhbduusi i’m out of energy 

[laufire]

Supernatural s5

I finished it a little while ago, but I haven’t had the time to make an involved post about it -or watch that much of s6 yet; I’m trying to be Resposible and the time I have has been spent in advancing fics a little bit or answering short asks lol.

-I have really enjoyed this season for the most part, but there’s something I need to get of my chest LOL: all through it, the song “Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)” played in my head xDD. Like, listen, I knew what I was signing up for with this show!! I didn’t expect NOT to find it offensive or regressive on multiple occasions!! But I guess s3-4 must have spoiled me lmao. I’m not saying those seasons are the height of feminism, but if you removed its most important female characters, ESPECIALLY Ruby, the plot of the season would fall apart. That’s not something you can say for s5 and preventing the Apocalypse, just sayin’.

It wouldn’t’ve been that hard to expand Meg’s, Anna’s or the Harvelle’s part (they had good material to go there -Meg as the faithful possibly opening her eyes, Anna as the betrayed and the juror jury and executioner, the Harvelles as normal hunters fighting something way too big for them-, but barely any time and like I said, no incidence in the actual plot of the season). Hell, I’m biased but bringing back Ruby would’ve at least taken care of the problem lol. Or if the show had indulged me and kept Bellamy Young as Lucifer, at least. But everyone with a real say in the plot is a dude, or at least wearing one as a vessel (angel’s conception of gender is clearly different from humans, but in terms of ~~representation the results are the same lbr).

-My constant frustrations with Supernatural’s bigotry-related stuff lol, like I said, I really enjoyed the season (that combination is one of the most frustrating things about the show lmao). Especially Castiel’s plot. The guy has reached Potential Hall of Faves status and that’s hum. A Problem xD

But seriously, he was breaking my heart in all the best ways. His search for God (the Absent Father that the show specifically compared to John añsldkfjasf. This show ISTG!!), his disappointment and sense of betrayal at being let down (he called God Himself “son of a bitch”!!!). I was especially fascinated by his Endverse version -that AU will have its own section lol-, although it resulted in making me reaaaally nervous whenever he was close to an addictive substance :). Like yes, those scenes were lowkey humourous and adorable (like when he drinks shots with the Harvelles and Ellen is fascinated and Jo delighted -... lowkey shipping this too btw. Lowkey shipping Castiel with lots of people-, or his combo with Sam when he got drunk), but also, you know, WORRYING xD

Some of my favourite scenes of his were, predictably, his interactions with Meg or Lucifer in 5x10. The Megstiel scene was SUPER HOT (both their voices are very unf-y lol), I can’t wait to edit it. And having Lucifer call Castiel “a peculiar thing” sure was something xD (although lbr, this Lucifer isn’t keeping with his rebel angel reputation, Castiel is carrying that all by himself smh).

Another scene I couldn’t get out of my head if I wanted to is when he uhhhh... completely LOSES IT and starts beating the crap out of Dean when he was ready to give it up to Michael. “I gave everything for you, and this is what you give me?!?” ooooooof. It was hard to watch, and fascinating and intense. I shamelessly loved it lmfao.

Though my favourite moment of his is one that can only be appreciated when you know certain things about s6. It’s the scene where, unlike everyone else, he shows appreciation for Sam’s plan of sacrificing himself to get rid of Lucifer. Because yes, at this point it’s the only thing that can save the world. But Castiel isn’t saying, “Sam’s life is a small price to pay in comparison”, because he will go into s6 and snatch Sam out of the cage immediately. s5 established Sam got out, so with that in mind, he didn’t bring it up because he didn’t want to create false hope in case he failed, but he backed the plan with the intention of saving Sam anyway. I love that. I love him.

-The entire season was Missing Ruby Hours for me lmfao. Like I said, some of the problems in the season wrt female characters would’ve been at the very least lessened if she’d gotten to be here wrecking havoc. But generally I just miss her and What Could Have Been with her here. I enjoyed some of the crumbs (Sam using the witchcraft skillz he learned from her! Sam immediately knowing Meg isn’t Ruby, unlike Dean! Her knife! The ARCHANGEL GABRIEL referencing her as “the demon Sam chose over his brother”!! The callbacks with Crowley or Brady!!), but I would’ve wanted her here, dammit xD.

-Aaaaand we’re finally getting to Sam, who is without a doubt the star of the season, if you ask me. His plan at the end, to let Lucifer possess him in the hopes he can fight back for just long enough to overpower him and throw them both into the cage, with no hopes for himself? This is the kind of Big Damn Hero stunt I’m a sucker for, I won’t lie. And I love that the show felt the need to confirm he was still alive at the end of the season hehe.

He really Went Through It this season and he held on lmfao. On top of everything (the apocalypse, the guilt of being its final trigger, the addiction recovery, etc.), he also had to deal with Dean’s usual bullshit, which is no small feat xDD. Like, sure, from an audience stand-point all those things are interesting (some fave/the fuck moments are when Dean is obviously peeved that Bobby still supports Sam because he wanted Bobby in HIS corner, or when he has the nerve to say he wants to say yes to Michael because he doesn’t trust SAM not to say yes to Lucifer lmfaoooo), BUT IT’S STILL A FEAT XD

One note: for all the talk about bi!Dean, bi!Sam is so SEEN this season xDD. AFAIC he totally hooked up with that bartender Paul (RIP Paul. At least in your last moments you enjoyed Sam, who’s clearly an energetic, attentive lover 😔). And Crowley refers to Brady as Sam’s demon ex-boyfriend and nobody bats and eye lmfao (that story is so angsty... the parallels to Ruby, how he ingratiated himself with Sam by pretending to have fallen off the wagon... ouch).

-I have mixed feelings on Crowley. On his own, I fell absolutely in love with the guy on his first appearance. A demon that DOUBTS Lucifer and doesn’t kiss his ass?? That wants to get rid of him and do his own thing?? And clearly enjoys ~earthly pleasures to the fullest (his complains about how the other demons ate his tailor had me rolling laksjdfa)? The way he turned the tables on Brady? OFC I love him. OTOH boy, does it annoy me knowing that fandom GLADLY embraced him when they condemned characters like Bela or Ruby for similar things. It’s not his fault so I still like him (he’s like Gabriel in that sense), but it’s annoying!

It also annoys me how Dean Must Be Right All The Time syndrome interacts with him lol. This season Dean decides they can trust Crowley (despite Crowley killing two humans in front of him and getting him beat up by Brady lol), so they can. Next season he decides they can’t, so Castiel will be WrongTM because Dean Says So. Ugggggh xD

-To be fair, however, this season has my fave Dean so far LOL. In the love/hate scale, this one has been almost solely in camp love, barring some of those moments of irksome hypocrisy that he’s so prone to xD.

But there was something about how this season’s plot chipped away at him, you know? For all the traits he has that drive me up the wall or unsettle me, I appreciate a lot of his personality because it makes him a unique and interesting character driving the narrative -his irreverence, his ability to think on the fly and get out of shitty situations, his disbelief. Seeing all of those things under siege this season made me hurt for him in a way I hadn’t anticipated LOL. By the time he was ready to give in to Michael (and I love that what made him step away from that choice was Sam showing a trust in him he patently didn’t deserve lbr), sometimes I felt terribly for the guy.

I also wonder if this season kind of marked like... the beginning of the end for him, narrative-wise? Making him Michael’s vessel (his angel condom) is the kind of thing that turns him from subject into object, and that can doom characters ime. The fact that he ~resigns himself to Sam’s death when his identity as a character came with being His Brother’s Keeper is another slight.

-I continue having mixed feelings about Destiel too LMAO. I’ve decided I’m just going to try to enjoy the good and interesting parts while I can, while trying not to think of future developments that’ll likely sour the ship for me lol.

Because in truth, yeah, I enjoy their interactions a lot here! The Endverse was particularly enjoyable for me (back to that in a moment), but the entire season had a lot of gems. That moment in the finale, when Dean is wounded on his knees after Sam sacrifices himself, and Castiel resurrects and heals him with a touch? And Dean is staring in awe and asks him if he’s become God?? Like wtf am I supposed to do with that. WHO SAYS THAT. XDD

-The Endverse. Omgggggggg. The Endverse. I doubt I can say anything about it that hasn’t been said a thousand times, but seriously. I loooove it, all of it. My favourite was endverse!Castiel, ofc. The way he was in No Man’s Land, not an angel and not quite a human, his ways of trying to cope with that, how burned he was... I uncomfortably related to some of it too lmfao, but let’s not get into that xD.

Seeing both Deans interact was gr10 too. They really couldn’t stand each other lmfao (do you understand me now Dean?? They actually reminded me of two OCs in an original WIP of mine that are in a similar situation -in this case it’s the future version purposefully traveling to the past though-, which made me even fonder of the AU). And the Destiel? *chef’s kiss*. The bitterness, like when Castiel laughs when present!Dean berates endverse!Dean about the tortures and then purposefully says “I like past you” to hurt him asñldkfjasf. Or those looks when Dean returns to the past and tells Castiel to “never change” d’aw.

I loved Lucifer!Sam in this episode too (and personally, I think in the finale Lucifer -and Michael- should’ve changed his outfit too. Sam’s clothes just don’t get to The Devil’s levels, but that white suit was perfect). He was terrifying xD.

BTW: I’ve decided that, since we never see endverse!Castiel die, well. He didn’t xD. I could see Lucifer keeping him alive and captive out of a sense of nostalgia, as Castiel is the only other thing close to a fellow angel left. Might even decide to return his powers with time, or to ~entice him with such an offer lol. And ofc I headcanon Sam is still inside, occasionally trying to fight. Cue in all the Castiel/Lucifer and Castiel/Sam fic ideas too (I have waaaaay too many of those for this mini-verse. It’s very inspiring).

-I’m still on the fence at Lucifer’s motivations but I can’t question how the family issues fit so, so well into this ‘verse. “Family is hell” is the show’s thesis, after all xD. IMO the angels in general don’t feel like a family, they’re a military body/cult lol, but the Archangels are another matter. I guess is the whole “only four angels have seen God-slash-Dad” thing, the rest were... well, the help, apparently.

But Lucifer, Michael, and Gabriel do feel like brothers when they interact (I’m guessing here Gabriel is the Adam: discarded by the other two like nothing :)))). Raphael too, but since he doesn’t interact with them... does he get to later? Or is he the odd one out? Did the others avoid him because he kept quoting Nietzsche at dinner?? LOL.

-There are no words to explain how terribly I feel for Adam. JFC that poor KID. Who was kind and helpful and intuitive, and only wanted his mother back and to help stop the end of the world. And that Sam and Dean will leave rotting in Hell for a millennia :))). It’s kiiiiiiiiind of hard to do for your show’s “heroes” when they do shit like that lmfao. It’d be different if they never tried to make him feel he’s family, but Sam tried to convince him with the bs “because we’re blood” and they did a half-baked attempt at saving him from Zacharias, and then... yeah. At least he had Michael in the cage, but still.

-I was already spoiled of this, but the reveal that cupids made John and Mary fall in love is so chilling (good on Dean for punching that cupid asshole, btw). It puts what Mary says about John in flashbacks, about how much she loves him and how perfect he is, in such a terrifying light. And I’m under the impression that the show didn’t bother to deal with this properly when they resurrected Mary and just... I hate that tbh. It’s a narrative choice that should have a huuuge impact, dammit.

-I kind of loved how bitter and angry Bobby was about (temporarily, thanks to Crowley, his new demon bf -watch out Rufus) ending up in a wheelchair. That there were no platitudes or false sentimentality and it just... was.

-The Harvelles’ had a good send off. I can respect Kripke for wanting his faves to go on his terms lol. Having Jo refuse Dean’s offer of a fuck on their possible last night on Earth with “I rather spent it with a little thing I have self-respect”? Not because she doesn’t have feelings for him, but because she thinks she deserves better from him? I love it. This guy knows his pettiness xD

-The fact that this fandom seems to have ignored Gabriel x Kali is one of the reasons I’m never going to vibe with it, sns. Immortal exes? Check. She tricked him and killed him... but then it turns out HE tricked and he’s alive? Check. BUT THEN HE STILL GOES BACK AND SAVES HER, DYING BY HIS BROTHER’S HAND?? CHECK CHECK CHECK. Ugh, why can’t they come back to me. I know, I know, Kali is a WoC and those are only allowed one (1) appearance before they’re killed off, apparently. So it might be a good thing that she doesn’t return xD. But gosh, they were gr10.

-Death the Horseman’s intro cleared my skin. I love him. I love how utterly terrifying he is and how chilling his and Dean’s scene was. And I yearn to find a picture of the guy a little younger and with a goatee, because he’s the most perfect Discworld’s Vetinari fancast I’ve ever found xDD

-I’ve seen tons of commentary over the years, and especially lately for obvious reasons, about how this season finale would’ve been a much better ending for the show. I’m not there yet, and it does sound like the finale was a mess and this one’s was a very well constructed episode (and, ofc, the Final Love Interest was NOT blurry!!). But even if by the end I come to loathe the finale, there’s one reason I already know won’t let me agree on the s5 ending being perfect: God xDD

The episode makes Chuck come across as a ~benevolent figure and no, fuck that, do NOT want, take it away from me!! Give me God as the Big Bad Wolf, the last evil to conquer any day. It’s like Dumbledore all over again: I enjoy the character a lot more if I feel canon and I are on the same page wrt his shadiness xDD