#even if it hurt me a thousand times over lol xD

[egg-emperor]

Obsessed with how people like to theorize that Eggman was genuinely considering changing his ways and becoming good because of his reflection on his grandfather in the SA2 ending, yet the unused lines prove it wasn't the intention at all. Instead he was just thinking about his next evil scheme in true classic Eggman fashion. He's so funny hehe that's my boy!! 🥰

They probably just didn't keep them in because it didn't suit the tone of this great scene and I get it. But with these unused lines, we get to know what he was actually thinking and his real conclusion after this and I fucking LOVE it lol 💜 Nothing gets in the way of Eggman's dreams and his motivation for it. Nothing! He's so passionate about his goal and loves being evil, this wouldn't break his spirit!

Also funny to me when people act like Eggman cares and has empathy for the people on the planet and if they get destroyed too and that it's why he had that reflection and considered that he should change his ways, so he doesn't hurt people like that. But like no lol he killed people and threatened to kill more using the cannon himself in this game and his speech doesn't imply sudden regret or care.

It makes sense that he asked "did he really mean to destroy us" because very literally everyone including himself would've died if it had gone to plan but in reality he only cares about himself. He wasn't really thinking or caring about their lives being lost like his own. And it obviously makes sense for him to be disappointed that his idol and grandfather was really just gonna get him killed like that.

As always, the Advance 2 manual, that released a year after SA2, knows what's up he's without a thought or care for anybody else but himself.

And also since then, he's continued to cause mass destruction on a global scale many times, not caring about how much damage he does to the world or who gets killed as a result of his actions and he often intends for it.

All that matters to him is his own safety and the world he wants to rule still existing so that he can actually rule it. Besides that, he'll cause as much destruction and death as it takes to get what he wants and won't give a single shit about anything or anyone else XD

He's still as destructive and murderous as ever, if not even more over time as this plans only get even bigger, crazier, and more diabolical.

The funniest thing about people thinking that Eggman became better or toned it down after his moment in SA2 is that he later basically did his own equivalent to the Eclipse Cannon in a game in Unleashed, firing his own goddamn super chaos emerald powered laser cannon and literally breaking the planet apart to release Dark Gaia and he fucking loved it!!!

He practically did the exact same thing as Gerald planned to with the Eclipse cannon by having an earth destroying cannon fuck up the planet but just without destroying it entirely so it can actually exist for him to rule! Because no doubt that thousands absolutely died when this happened. The only difference is that he gets to live and the planet still gets to exist for him to rule.

Plus the Sonic Channel story (part 1, part 2) written by Eitaro Toyoda also had Eggman literally taking control of the Eclipse Cannon itself again and trying to fire it at the world to destroy an entire city and kill everyone in it LOL. He's more than happy to do exactly what Gerald wanted to do in killing people with it, only he still wants the world to exist to take over after and get to live of course. They're the only reasons he really helped to stop it when Gerald tried to do it.

So yeah, Sega/Sonic Team don't consider Eggman to have changed or toned down his evil at all, he still wants to cause global destruction and kill people. That was never a factor of his reflection in SA2 and the unused lines alone prove it. The theory that he isn't as evil as the Adventure games because it shifted his perspective and made him consider changing his ways is funny. Especially because he actually isn't less evil at all, y'all just aren't paying attention to him and how his evil plots and actions are still as evil as ever. :P

I love his passion for his interests and his dreams, I love his determination to always keep trying to reach his goals, I love how he'll never give up, I love how confident and certain and set in his ways he is. Those are his greatest strengths and the way he never sways because nothing or nobody could ever kill that spirit is so much better and cooler than him having insecurity or doubt or not enjoying what he does. It gives this evil bastard some admirable charisma 💖

[iwanttofuckereh69]

now reading 2ha vol 2

ch 55 - 71

… but the careless thought would fly through his mind and soon be lost, like the drizzle of rain falling into a deep pond.

Mo Ran’s entire existence put into words perfectly

1. now im sad 😭

Ahhh the way Shi Mei’s death is described is gut wrenching. I was so sad reading that. But yeah, at least there are more details to what happened. It seems like Chu Wanning couldn’t do anything to save him that day. Or rather, he had to choose. I feel like if he tried saving Shi Mei, he wouldn’t hold the barrier. So he chose, faithful to his principles. It ties to Chu Xun’s sacrifice that seems to be supposed to show how hard of a decision it must have been both on Chu Xun and Chu Wanning. My guess is Mo Ran either didn’t realize at the time that CWN had to choose one over the other or he couldn’t understand why he would sacrifice his disciple to protect all those people he himself doesn’t care about. 

But damn that description hurt. Mo Ran’s heart was truly aching. And that comparison to a snowflake, equally beautiful and equally unimportant. Ehh

@thegreymoon if this is "moderate and usual amount of suffering" then i dont know if i want to continue!!!!

(jk, i like when it hurts 🙂)

2. Chu Wanning is even more awkward than i was in high school which should be considered an achievement

Tbh I like moments of Mo Ran’s longing for Chu Wanning. And how he reacts when he sees Chu Wanning finally after all this time CWN spend “in seclusion”. Its lovely, but also hes so dumb for not realizing. This whole whatever was going on between them during New Years Eve celebration was just lovely but also so awkward. Chu Wanning deliberately giving him a copper coin dumpling? Absolutely cute. But also so awkward and just 😬 Instead of finding thousands of weird ways to flirt maybe just tell him? Idk its an outrageous idea, but idk give it a try maybe?? And omg that awkward moment when he wanted to invite mo ran to watch fireworks but… yeah. I felt it in my bones. 

3. Breaking news, Mo Ran, despite being 32 yo in 16 yo body mentally somehow ended up being 5

Sometimes it feels to me as if mo ran desired CWN not as a person but as an object. And he is even comparing him to an ugly box that nobody wanted with perfectly fine food inside. An ugly box only he himself dared to open to discover the treasure inside. And he is so childishly jealous when now that box is on display for everyone to look at. Its almost silly. But also yeah, its another time he treats CWN more like a thing he owns. And nobody else should see any worth in that thing, because its only his to consume. There is a fine expression in my native language for a person like that, and funny enough, its also dog related. But I couldn't find any translation that would convey all the nuisance. It’s for a person that won’t let anyone else enjoy a thing even if they themselves have no intention of enjoying that thing either. It reminded me of this quote:

Eventually, like a beast, he had known only one thing: that Chu Wanning was his. Even if he didn’t care for Chu Wanning, he was still his to sunder and to ruin. 

And like… Right now, Mo Ran seems to me like an annoying jealous kid that wants CWN for himself out of pure spite. Because CWN never gave MR attention he thought he was owed or that he deserved. I want to punch him just a bit.

4. Shi Mei is totally Chu Wanning’s wingman

Like he always tries to show Mo Ran that CWN isnt all that bad XD And I won’t believe he didn’t realize after all those completely awkward confessions and random hand holdings that Mo Ran has feelings for him. Like I won’t believe he wouldn’t see right through him especially on that boat. And I think he is smarter than MR and saw that CWN isn’t indifferent to Mo Ran after all. I want to say he would be happy if they’d get together but BASED ON COMMUNITY’S REACTIONS i feel like i will look like a clown lol. But oh well thats my very biased impression of Shi Mei. 

@rosemary-screams

Never back down never what? NEVER GIVE UP!

Also it dawned on me while reading that you’re totally right @02cm, Mo Ran totally is wasting his chances with Shi Mei. I mean it happened before but that boat scene striked me as so annoyingly obvious. Like, he knows Shi Mei dies after he gets back from that “summer camp” in peach blossom springs. Its not gonna be long till that day and he can’t be sure it won’t happen again. And he is waiting around, unable to express his feelings that he was supposed to be so sure of. Is it… perhaps… a live showcase of Mo Ran’s only two brain cells almost connecting? Almost! Not quite there yet, but we’re on the right path. 

5. This book makes me feel disdain towards the characters and then feel bad for them in the matter of chapters njnjgviuvnjuigi im not well

I'm so heartbroken with the story of how Mo Ran was punished when he tried to steal the haitang flower for Chu Wanning because he had a crush on him. And CWN never let him speak and explain himself and punished him instead. I mean it’s kinda understandable but it makes me sad knowing that MR had such pure intentions... Also, that bedtime story about ox… Mo Ran sees himself in that boy? Because it seems like he always took the beatings no matter if he deserved it and nobody was kind enough to actually listen? And it seems like it will happen again now that he's being framed for murder.

6. Me when MR gave Xia Sini butterfly hair clip and made his hair:

THIS HAS NO REASON TO BE SO CUTE. Also i'm actually enjoying that smol Chu Wanning arc despite being weirded out at first. It gave CWN opportunity to be more relaxed around MR and the rest. And just like he can enjoy sweets as much as he wants without having to worry about losing his face, he can also just chill a bit because oh boy, my guy needed it so much

7. Someone really dislikes Mo Ran and is actively plotting his demise (which im not even surprised with). It’s either someone he already managed to wrong after reincarnating or someone of those many, many people he offended in his past life that somehow also got reincarnated into the past. What are the odds?!

Also, if Chu Wanning and Chu Xun are related (rather closely given how they look alike) and Chu Xun died and Chu Lan died and it seemed like there wasn’t anyone left out of their bloodline… how. Also what’s the self sacrifice gene because it clearly runs in this family. 

[elsecrytt]

To Live or Not To Live

Started writing a WiP from a while ago. Got closer to finishing it. Decided to start a whole new thing instead. Enjoy lol

Obey Me! Characters - to live or not to live? Each character's reaction to your humanity, mortality, and inevitable demise.

Except... I only did the four oldest brothers because I have WiPs to be working on lmao. Kiiinda tempted to do Diavolo and Barbatos but also... lol. is it really a question what either of them would do? XD

Lucifer - Live

Not even a question for him. Sure, he respects you - but also, deep, deep down, he respects Mammon, he respects Diavolo, and he still strings the both of them up whenever he thinks they fucked up.

If you want to become immortal, fantastic; even if you're with one of his other brothers, he's probably the one who organizes or assists with the process the most.

If you don't want to become immortal, well, you'll have forever to change your mind about that. If you'd died then you'd never be able to.

The oldest brother is no stranger to playing the villain. If you decide you hate him forever for making you immortal, he's hurt, he really is, and you can make him feel very very guilty... but he'd always do the same thing over again.

There's nothing in the world Lucifer would put above the lives of his loved ones. Not his feelings or your own.

He has made his peace with Lilith's death, but that doesn't mean he would ever, ever let anything like it happen again. It doesn't matter if you never forgive him; he would never forgive himself if he could have saved you, and chose not to.

Mammon - Live

He struggles a bit more with it. Of course, if you're willing to become immortal, he's over the moon! You might not realize it, but he worries about this more than you realize. The thought that one day, he'll wake up, and you won't be there... it haunts his nightmares.

If you don't want to do it? Mammon's going to be seriously torn. He'll argue with you a lot, and he's also not as persuasive as some of his other brothers could be.

But ultimately, if you don't agree, no matter what he says... he'll get Lucifer to make you immortal anyways. Mammon would be willing to lure you in a trap on his own, if he needs to, but if you're too clever for him to accomplish it without help, then he'll get help.

He can't do it. He can't watch you die again, hold your dead body in his arms. He wants to do so many things with you, he wants to spend so much time with you, and the handful of decades you get as a human just won't cut it.

Leviathan - Die

Our first death on the list. Leviathan doesn't have very good self-esteem on his own, and if the topic of immortality comes up, and you say you don't want to do it, he's immediately going to blame his own perceived unlikability.

Of course, who would want to be with a dumb otaku like him literally forever. That'd be way too much for anyone, let alone a normie like you. You'll probably get bored of him way before you die as a human anyways...

Whatever improvements you've made to his self-esteem, they're not going to fix literal thousands of years of self-deprecation and also being the avatar of envy. He won't take the news well.

Leviathan will do everything he possibly can to make you accept the idea - I doubt he'd actually be actively aware of the guilt slinging he's throwing at you with the whole "oh it's because you don't want me" stuff, but you can bet if he starts to think that will help you make the choice, he'll throw it at you, too - but ultimately, the choice is yours.

He doesn't have Lucifer's confidence, or Mammon's burning desire to fuel his opposition, so all that's left for him to do is respect your decision. He can't stand the thought of you hating him, let alone hating him forever.

Honestly? Possibly also, deep, deep down... At least, if he can't have you forever, himself... then neither will anyone else.

Satan - Die/Live

Satan would probably be the most persuasive one if you were on the fence with the decision. He probably brought the idea up to you in the first place.

If you decide to go along with it, he's going to very thoroughly research each method, the associated difficulties, benefits, etc. and will pretty excitedly discuss the research with you until you settle on one.

If you don't... he researches anyways, and tells you that you're welcome to change your mind whenever you want. Just because you don't like the idea now, doesn't mean your future self will feel the same way.

It could definitely be annoying, but he's not going to force anything on you, and he's much more comfortable to be around than any of his brothers.

Ultimately, if you decide you absolutely cannot become immortal, no matter what, Satan will respect your wishes...

...Until you actually do die, clinically, at least. He'll put his knowledge to use by resuscitating you, probably into an immortal, invulnerable, ageless body.

If you take any issues with that, too bad. You wanted to live out your mortal life, and he let you. Satan knows anger all too well, and he'll wait you out for centuries, for millennia - he has all the time in the world, now...

[deputyash]

Necromancy, Raven, witch, and haunted for Dovie, and pumpkin for you :3

Thanks for sending some! <3

NECROMANCY - What are their views on death? Undeath? Immortality?

Hitting me with the hard questions haha. Hmm, I think to a certain extent Dove sees death as just being a part of life, but also I can see her not really wanting to think about it too much. She’s quite afraid of losing her loved ones, so the thought of them dying is hard for her. As for her own death, she tells herself she feels neutral towards it, but also she would be afraid of dying before her time. I also think Dove would like to believe in an afterlife of some sort. She’s not particularly religious, but she just likes the idea of being reunited with people (and pets) she loved. She would also like the idea of watching over the ones she cares about even after her death.

Undeath, I’m assuming this means like zombies/vampire or maybe resurrection type of things? I don’t think that Dove would actually believe in undeath, but she does like the idea of reincarnation or resurrection. She finds those concepts interesting and a tiny sliver of her wonders about it being possible. (Unless it’s the version of Dove that eventually becomes a vampire haha, then yeah I’d say she believes in undeath. Ghost!Dove too lol.)

Immortality is similar to her views on undeath. She finds it interesting but wouldn’t actually believe in it. If, for whatever reason, she was given the chance to be immortal, I think she would be tempted to take it because if she was immortal she wouldn’t have to worry about all the things plaguing her. That ticking clock feeling would be gone. But then she would think about her current loved ones and knowing that she would lose them would be too hurtful. She’d rather be with her loved ones and die, then live and be alone.

RAVEN - What sad song, poem or sonnet would they be associated with?

I don’t know many poems/sonnets and my mind always blanks for songs lol, let alone any sad ones, so I just searched around for some. This is a poem that I think would fit well with Dove. 

__

Immortality

By Clare Harner

__

Do not stand

     By my grave, and weep,

I am not there,

     I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints in snow,

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle, autumn rain.

When you awaken with morning's hush

I am the swift upflinging rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the day transcending night.

Do not stand

     at my grave and cry -

I am not there,

     I did not die.

WITCH - What are they readily willing to sacrifice to ensure their plans work? What is too much and how far are they usually willing to go?

Dove is very protective of people, especially loved ones, so she will not sacrifice people important to her for the sake of a plan. If it’s something very important like saving a loved one, Dove is willing to sacrifice anything relating to herself (including herself) to make sure it works. 

If a plan isn’t going well, she is willing to regroup and make a new plan rather than continue a risky plan that could get herself or others hurt. (If it’s possible anyways, some things are out of her control of course.)

HAUNTED - When they’re suffering are they willing to admit it? To whom? Why or why not?

Dove has a hard time asking for help. She feels guilty for it and doesn’t want anyone to be troubled or, depending on the storyline, getting hurt. She really tries to do things on her own or fix things on her own, but it doesn’t work all the time. She’ll probably only admit to needing help after she’s already burnt out or hurting (physically or mentally). She is also very selective about who she tells. It would probably be her older brother, a very close friend, or her significant other. She trusts them the most and she finds comfort in them, so just spending time with someone she loves eases the suffering.

PUMPKIN - Out of character real quick, what’s YOUR favorite part of Halloween?

This is so late…hahaha XD But my favorite part of Halloween is the overall atmosphere honestly. That time of year just feels so cozy to me. I love autumn already so I love the weather, but I also like seeing all the decorations and stuff. I also enjoy dressing up, even though I haven't really been able to in recent years.

Also, random story because why not haha - When my younger brother and I were young kids, we didn’t get to go trick-or-treating because we lived on a ranch and thus had no neighbors. So our parents would go to the front and back door, and we would go back and forth to trick-or-treat from either door haha. We did get to go trick-or-treating when we were a little older, around middle school maybe?, because we would go with an ex-friend of ours to their neighborhood, or we just randomly went to town to see where we could trick-or-treat haha

[johaerys-writes]

Writing Tag Game

I was tagged by @noire-pandora @midnightprelude @mogwaei @serial-chillr @faerieavalon @pinkfadespirit @inquisitoracorn and @in-arlathan thank you so much! :)

How many works do you have on Ao3?

On my main Ao3 blog: 23! I also have a second blog where I post works set in the Dragon Age-inspired Modern AU I've been writing with @oftachancer , featuring my OC Tristan Trevelyan and her OC Aran Trevelyan, as well as a few others of our OCs. There are 5 works there at the moment. You can check them out here: jo_writes

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

On my main blog, 516,722 words. On my second blog, 193,953 words, but the majority of it is co-written with @oftachancer .

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

High-Flying Birds: 589 kudos (TSOA)

Where Blood Roses Bloom: 467 kudos (Castlevania)

Winter's Fruit: 424 kudos (TSOA)

Like Friends Do: 410 kudos (TSOA)

Memories and Echoes: 327 kudos (TSOA)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always!! I don't think there's a single comment I've ever received that I've left unanswered. I just love talking with my readers and screeching in my replies. I often wonder whether I come across as a tiny bit insane or overly enthusiastic, but you know what? I am both, so who cares 😂 I just appreciate every single person that has taken the time to read and comment on my works, and I want to make sure they know JUST HOW MUCH 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I honestly don't think that many of my stories have an angsty ending? Most of them end on a hopeful or at least bittersweet note, I think. I'm pretty sure the only ones I've written that have sad endings were those in my Hector/Carmilla series, You Always Hurt The Ones You Love (CV) which were kind of dark and depressing anyway. 

Playground Love, the fic I've written with @oftachancer featuring our OCs Tristan and Aran ends on an angsty note, but things do get better in the next installment, Never Let Me Go, so I suppose I am a little allergic to angsty endings XD

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

The Stars Will Guide Us Home (TSOA, Modern AU) has a super soft and fluffy ending, and Fall Into Your Tide (TSOA, Merman AU) will have a happy ending too.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written? 

I've written a Witcher/Dragon Age crossover, Viper In Tall Grass, where Tristan is a witcher and Dorian a Nilfgardian mage which I thoroughly enjoyed! Also, one of the first long fics I ever finished was a Witcher/Wheel of Time crossover, which I think is genuinely the most... imaginative thing I've written 😂 I never posted it and don't think I will, but I still love it to bits and I'm super proud of myself for writing it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Kind of? It wasn't directed at me personally (I don't think) but at one of the main characters of the fic. Perhaps it was referring to the way I'd written the particular character, I truly can't say, it was a little vague. It takes a lot to offend me, but this really rubbed me the wrong way. I honestly think I would have been less offended if the person had criticised my writing rather than the character lol. I just don't take any shit when it comes to the characters I love. They're PERFECT, okay? How dare you come into my house and badmouth them 😂 RUDE

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell YEAH! I love writing smut, it's great. As to what kind, I think that porn with feelings describes it really well. The smut I write tends to get emotional real quick, even when I intended for it to be straight up porn, so I guess there's no hope for me, hah. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. 

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Yes, High-Flying Birds has been translated into Vietnamese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! With oftachancer, two novel-length fics (Playground Love and Never Let Me Go), as well as a few other WIPs that haven't been posted yet, and I'm currently working on a multi-chap fic with my friendo @in-arlathan , featuring Dorian/Tristan and Solas with her Elenara Lavellan, which I'm so excited about! I've also brainstormed and goblined-out over a couple projects with @mogwaei !!  I love co-writing, it's so fun :)

What's your all time favourite ship?

Oooh, that's a tough one. I'm super biased in that the ships I love are those I write (both canon and OC pairings) but if you held a gun to my head and asked me to choose I would probably have to say... Dorian/Tristan and Achilles/Patroclus? AAH this is too hard ;w;

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I do plan on finishing all of the WIPs I am currently working on. I have a lot of writing ideas that I don't think I'll ever get around to, but when I actually start writing something I tend to commit till the end.

What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions, introspection and angsty/emotional scenes I think are my favourite things to write. I also enjoy writing fight scenes a little too much (and judging by the feedback I receive on them people seem to enjoy them too, heh). Lastly, I've been told that the characters I write are complex and fleshed out and that my pacing is good, and that's honestly the best praise for me.

What are you writing weaknesses?

I struggle quite a lot with self doubt and perfectionism. I worry a lot about how my work will be perceived and whether it's good enough. I often agonise over small details or paragraphs/sentences, to the point where I sometimes post just so I stop myself from going back and editing indefinitely. I have thousands upon thousands of words in deleted scenes because "they weren't quite right" or I changed a tiny bit and the rest didn't fit. So. You get the idea 😅 (Now, how I manage to read through everything multiple times before posting yet still get typos... welp)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, I have to say that I do like it when there are foreign words interspersed through the narrative if the story isn't set in an English speaking world or if the characters speak a different language, but I'm not a huuuge fan of seeing a big chunk of dialogue in a foreign language without immediate translation or a hovering text. It kind of breaks the immersion for me and I tend to avoid it generally in my own writing.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age, and specifically DAI! That game never gets old for me.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

It's impossible for me to pick just one so I'm going to cheat and choose a few. I absolutely love my current WIPs: High-Flying Birds, Where Blood Roses Bloom and A World With You, and the freaking epic-length fics I've written with @oftachancer . They haven't always been easy to write (especially AWWY, which has the most intricate plot & character development) but I'm so proud of them and I've learned so much while writing them. Of my finished stories, The Stars Will Guide Us Home is hands down one of my all time faves. It had been on my mind for several months before I actually wrote it, and I poured so much of my heart into it. I still get emotional when I go back to reread it, not gonna lie! Lastly, At The Water's Edge (TSOA) is very dear to me and I often go back for rereads. 

I'm tagging forth to (no pressure!): @fancytrinkets @elveny @glimmerofgold @asiriushoe @juliafied @boshtet-juggler @schattengerissen @dafan7711 @tessa1972 @fandomn00blr @pikapeppa and anyone else who would like to join!

[alirhi]

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Is there any way I could bother you, good sir, for some sappy kakagai? No rush, you just provide the best stuff and Im in need of a fix lol

The Evolution of 'Turtle'

Words: 3482

A/N: I am sorry this took a while. I got the idea and really wanted to try and make something out of it even though it's ridiculous XD I hope it's enjoyable

Five

He can’t believe his eyes. How is it possible for a person like Maito Gai to exist? Were people just allowed to have the energy of a thousand puppies smushed into one tiny body?

How was he not exploding from the sheer force of energy?

“Come on, Rival,” turning in his spot, Gai gave him his signature thumbs-up pose. “We’ll spar right here.”

“Spar?” Tilting his head, Kakashi frowned. “Why are we sparing?”

“Why are we-“ The smile fell off of Gai’s face. “You can’t be serious. We’re rivals, Kakashi. The fires of rivalry cannot burn without competition.”

Fires of rivalry.

Competition.

None of it sounded any fun to him. He’d much rather be laying in a field reading a nice book. A field he was not in, though, and Gai looked so hopeful staring at him.

“Fine,” his shoulders dropped. “But don’t cry to me when you lose again.”

“I’m not going to lose,” Gai declared proudly. “Today is the day I'll win and prove to you that I can be just as strong as you!”

Kakashi couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Not because he didn’t think it was possible. He wasn’t dumb enough to ignore his father’s warnings about Gai’s determination. It was more of a reaction towards Gai’s unwavering confidence.

“You’re going to lose,” he grumbled under his breath. “Your reaction times are too slow. You move like… like a Turtle.”

Gai’s face dropped.

“A turtle?” He sounded wounded. As if Kakashi had just stabbed him in the heart with a Kunai. “A turtle!? Do you understand how cool turtles are, rival? You compare me to the coolest animal ever as an insult!?”

“Ah.” somehow Kakashi was not surprised by his friend’s reaction. Even in the face of insult, Gai managed to find a bright side to everything.

The energy of a dog, with the stability and stubbornness of a turtle. That was the only way Kakashi could think of to describe the other boy as he stood there pumping himself up for their spar. A strange mixture for anyone else, but somehow just perfect for Maito Gai.

Fourteen

A concussion. That’s what the doctors had said when they checked Gai over after his last mission. Everything else seemed to be fine with him, he just needed someone to watch over him for a day or two. Since Kakashi was benched from missions with chakra exhaustion, it only made sense for him to take the job.

It was also the first chance they had since Minato-sensei had placed him in Anbu to actually hang out, and if he was being honest with himself Kakashi sort of enjoyed it.

“Everything hurts,” Gai groaned beside him, both hands placed over his ears in an attempt to block out all of the sounds outside the small apartment. “Why is everything so loud?”

“I think that has something to do with the concussion,” his sass was quickly rewarded with a glare. A first in his years of being friends with Gai. “You really are in bad shape. Is your face even allowed to do that?” Surely he would crumble to dust if he wasn’t happy at all moments of the day.

“I’m serious, rival,” Gai huffed, turning his face away from Kakashi so that he could no longer see the expressions he was making. “Everything is so loud.”

“Well,” glancing towards the window, he sighed. There was nothing more he could do to block out the noise from outside. The window was already closed, and the blinds were drawn shut to block out the light. Whatever noise Gai was still hearing, it was the stuff that still managed to sneak through the walls. “Maybe you could put the pillow over your head?”

“No,” Gai huffed, glaring at him once more before realizing what he was doing and sighing. “I’m sorry, Rival. I just… I don't feel like myself.”

“As is expected.” Turning his attention to the book he was currently enjoying, Kakashi attempted to lose himself in the story once again.

Five minutes went by without issue. The odd groan or whimper from Gai forced him to look up and check on his friend, but nothing horrible enough that he was forced to lower his book and aid Gai.

Five minutes was a short amount of time, though, and before long Gai’s complaining evolved to ‘pitiful sounds of the dying’.

“Do you need me to grab you something?” He set his book aside, preparing to run off to the dango shop, or restrain Gai from jumping out of his bed to do some training.

“I just need the noise to stop,” another whimpered protest when the sound of children’s laughter filtered into the small apartment. “Why won’t it stop?”

As if it would help anything, Gai grabbed the top of the neck of his jumpsuit and pulled the elastic fabric over his head. Like a turtle retracting its head into its shell.

The sound that ripped out of Kakashi’s throat horrified him. A lethal mixture of surprise and laughter, his throat contracted in a poor attempt to stop the sound from escaping, resulting in a painful vibrating on the roof of his mouth and the most embarrassing sound he had ever made in his life.

“You-” placing a hand over his mouth, he attempted to control his laughter. The scene was just too hilarious though. There Gai sat, his jumpsuit pushed over his head covering his face, with his hair pushed upwards into a poor imitation of Kakashi’s regular hairstyle. “Gai, please.”

“What?” tugging his jumpsuit down just far enough to peek over the top, Gai narrowed his eyes when he saw Kakashi sitting there in front of him stifling his laughter. “ Rival, are you…laughing?”

Somehow seeing Gai with half of his face now visible was even funnier, causing Kakashi to curl into himself as the laughter took over. For years Kakashi had kept all of his emotions in check. Careful about what he allowed others to see, only cracking a little with random jokes or soft moments with his friends.

Today, he broke down completely. Years of repressed emotion came flowing out all at once in the form of pure, unrestrained laughter.

“You look-” gazing up at Gai, he wheezed when he was greeted with the exact same ridiculous sight that had pushed him into this fit of laughter. “Are you secretly a turtle?”

The thought didn’t seem too far-fetched. Perhaps Gai was picking up certain traits from his summons. Ningame always withdrew into his shell whenever someone was annoying him, or he needed to protect himself in a battle. Gai might have just spent so much time with the Tortoise that he had begun picking up those habits.

If that was the case, Kakashi would have to thank Ningame the next time he saw him. This was easily the best thing he had seen in the long, painful fourteen years he had existed.

“It’s official,” straightening himself up, he slowly began to wrestle his emotions back under control. “You’re a Turtle, Gai.”

“A turtle?” Gai narrowed his eyes. “So you’re calling me cool?” Cool. That really wasn’t the first word he thought of when he looked at his best friend, but he couldn’t help but agree with it just this once.

“Sure,” he nodded, a smile still plastered on his face as he stared at the other boy. “You’re the coolest Shinobi in the world, Turtle.”

The jumpsuit lowered a bit more. As if Gai was retracting out of his shell, examining the world around him to ensure it was safe to continue forward. “The coolest?” excitement Shawn in his eyes, though it didn’t last long. As soon as Kakashi’s words sank in, a look of uncertainty took over his face. “Wait…what did you call me?”

Nicknames weren’t something Kakashi used often. They served no real purpose, and using his friend’s names was simply easier.

“Turtle,” he repeated himself, smirking when Gai’s eyes widened. “Don’t like it?”

He doesn’t get a response. Once again retreating into the safety of his jumpsuit, Gai fell back against his bed with a squeak, his face safely hidden away from view while he processes the new nickname Kakashi has given him.

Kakashi would say it was a cute sight, but ‘cute’ is not something he believes is for him to enjoy. Cute is for other people. The ones who deserve that fuzzy feeling in their chest that comes with a crush.

The ones with far less blood on his hands.

So it’s not cute, but it is funny.

That’s a small thought he’ll allow himself to cling to.

Twenty-seven

Days off are a rarity for a shinobi. Often if one had time to relax it was because they had been injured on a mission, or that the Hokage was simply picking out the next mission for them carefully. Ensuring it suited their skill set.

Kakashi was not injured, and he wasn’t waiting on a mission any time this week. Lord Third had made it clear he wanted Kakashi to be a Jonin-sensei, and with the next batch of Academy graduates just around the corner, he had decided to hold off on sending the Copy Ninja on any missions until after assigning him his new team. As if he expected him to pass this lot.

So he had a day off. Nothing to complain about most of the time, but today Kakashi was bored. There just wasn’t enough for him to do to entertain himself for an entire week before he was due to get his new team. If only there was something or someone to entertain him.

“Rival!” As if hearing Kakashi’s unspoken plea, Gai showed up in front of him suddenly. A bright smile on his face and three little students trailing behind him. “You’re not away on a mission!”

“Lord Third refuses to give me one right now,” he shrugged his shoulders, unwilling to allow Gai to see the tinge of excitement he felt just seeing his best friend standing there in front of him. “Don’t you have training to do?”

“We just finished, actually,” Kakashi was unsurprised. Gai was someone who liked to do his training as early in the day as he could. It left the rest of his day open, and it wasn’t as if training did anything to the endless amounts of energy the man had. “I was taking my students out for some lunch to celebrate a hard mornings work, but since you’re here-” Leaning to the side, Kakashi ignored the protests his best friend made to his ‘cool attitude’ and stared at the kids behind him. Lee, Tenten and Neji. Gai’s precious students who he never stopped talking about whenever he was spending time with Kakashi.

The Copy ninja would be jealous, but he could understand Gai’s excitement. While teaching wasn’t a job he felt he was suited for, it was something Gai had been looking forward to for years. To finally be assigned a team was an exciting moment for the Taijutsu master.

“Tell me, my rival’s not being too hard on you three, right?” Whatever standards Gai set for his team, Kakashi was going to have to exceed with whatever students he ended up passing. If that ever happened.

Seeing an opening to gush about his Sensei, Lee closed his hands into fists and lowered himself into a semi-squat. A move Kakashi had learned from conversations with Gai meant Lee was excited.

Though he was pretty sure ‘excited’ was a constant state for the Genin.

“Gai-Sensei’s training has been nothing less than fantastic!” He shouted at the top of his lungs, not deterred a bit from his eagerness by his teammate’s sighs. “At this rate, I will be the best Shinobi in all of Konoha.”

“It would be best to temper your drive,” Neji sighed, turning his gaze away from Kakashi when he looked his way. “Skill is determined by destiny. You’re only setting yourself up for disappointment.”

“You know, I remember a kid in my class saying something similar to Gai years ago,” was he going to tell Neji that brat of a kid was him? No. That was unnecessary information for the situation. “As far as I can tell looking at your Sensei now, he was wrong. In fact,” he peered Gai’s way, chuckling when he noticed his best friend avoiding his eyes with a little smile tugging at the end of his lips. “I think your Sensei is almost stronger than me.”

Neji seemed to shove Kakashi’s advice off as if it was nothing. When Gai had mentioned the Hyuuga was a bit of a hard case, Kakashi hadn’t believed him.

Surely if he could get his act together, Neji could as well.

It seemed there was going to need to be one hell of a wake-up call for the kid to get his act together. Kakashi could only hope that whatever it was, it was far more forgiving than his own.

“Meh,” straightening himself up, he turned his attention back to Gai. “A challenge. I assume that’s what you were about to ask me for?”

Gai’s eyes lit up at the reminder. “Yes, of course!” He declared. “An eating competition. I will no doubt defeat you this time.”

If he were going off of the results of their last eating competition, Gai had no shot. The man had been so stuffed with Sushi he could barely move afterwards, and yet Kakashi felt like he could eat another three plates of the stuff.

For a man who worked out as much as Gai did, Kakashi was surprised he couldn’t eat more than him, but perhaps he would be proven wrong in his assumptions today. Gai was always full of surprises.

“How about Ramen?” A repeat of Sushi might result in a very sick Gai, and that wasn’t any fun. “If your hatchlings want to join, I might even be inclined to pay for their meals.”

“Hatchlings?” Tenten looks offended by the nickname. “What?”

“Do we look like turtles to you?” Neji huffed, grunting when Lee smacks him across the back.

“I like it,” With a proud smile, Lee gives Kakashi a thumbs up. “Although I do not understand why you would pick this nickname for us, it’s somehow fitting.”

Glancing back at Gai, Kakashi chuckled when he saw him looking away. “Should I tell them?” He asked, reaching out to poke Gai in the side. “Or is this something you want to keep to yourself? Our little secret?”

The only response Gai gives him is the tiniest of huffs. A challenge.

Do it. Tell them. See if I care.

If Gai thought he wasn’t going to hear that unspoken challenge and snatch it up, he was sorely mistaken. Challenges may have been the Taijutsu masters thing, but Kakashi wasn’t about to just back out.

He would be a rather poor Rival if he did.

“Ma, if you say so,” running a hand through his hair, he turned his back to Gai. “I’ll meet you at Ichiraku. Try not to take too long, Turtle.”

The sound of Gai’s protests follows him as he jumps into the air, but Gai doesn’t follow. How could he when he has three students who no doubt have a hand full of questions for him?

“Ten minutes,” he whispers to himself, smiling at the thought of Gai bursting into Ichiraku ramen wide eyes and ready for their challenge, his three hatchlings following close behind. Late, when they were alone in Gai’s apartment relaxing, that’s when Gai would scold him for using that nickname in front of others.

For embarrassing him in front of his precious students with such a goofy nickname.

Kakashi wouldn’t apologize. That would be admitting he had done something wrong, and there wasn’t anything wrong with the nickname he used for Gai. No matter how many times Gai told him it was a child’s nickname. Something they should have left behind them years ago.

It was rather amusing. For a man so determined to cling to his ‘springtime of youth’, Gai sure wanted to forget about that childhood nickname Kakashi had given him. Too bad for him, though, Hatake Kakashi was a troll who lived off of other people’s suffering.

Plus the nickname was cute. Kakashi would stand by that fact.

Thirty-one

Everything had worked out. The world was safe, the five shinobi nations were working together towards a more peaceful, prosperous world. Konoha was finally beginning to recover and move forward. With all of that and a new promotion, most people would be happy. They would look forward to a brighter, more hopeful future.

Hatake Kakashi was not most people.

The world around him was celebrating their victory and planning their future, while he sat diligently at Gai’s bedside waiting.

“Wake up,” a pathetic plea whispered into an empty room. “Please.”

Nothing changed. No matter how long he waited, or how much he begged, nothing ever changed. Gai continued to lay there in bed unconscious. The only sign of life was the rise and fall of his chest.

“How long do I have to wait?” an answer isn’t expected. At this point, he’d be surprised if he ever got one. “Are you ever going to wake up?” Would he ever get to see Gai’s blinding smile again? Or here that bright, boisterous laugh?

Was his last memory really doomed to Gai’s determined face telling him he was going to open the eighth gate? Cementing the fact that at the end of the day, Kakashi was doomed to lose everyone he cared about.

“Wake up,” he whispered once more, his eyes sliding closed as an overwhelming feeling of dread settled into his heart. “Come on, Turtle. There are still so many things to do. We had so many plans for old age. We were going to visit the hot springs in the land of tea.”

For years Kakashi had been looking forward to retirement. Something he once thought he would never see had suddenly become the only thing driving him to survive after Gai brought up the idea of a vacation. Just the two of them together enjoying the world like they had never been able to do as Shinobi. Travelling around, seeing festivals in all sorts of different places, and acting like children for the first time since they were five.

All of those things he had been looking forward to, suddenly gone. All because the world was more important than him.

Tears burned at the edges of his eyes. Emotions he had spent years carefully hiding away in the darkest pits of his soul bubbling over for the first time since he was a teenager. “Don’t leave me,” he choked on his words, struggling to speak openly even now. When everything was on the line. “I l-”

“Love,” the sound of another voice catches him off guard. Whipping his head up, he stared at Gai, breath caught in his throat. “Love you, too.” Seeing Gai’s lips moving, even if it was only a little movement, Kakashi straightened himself up and reached out to grab Gai’s hand, careful not to squeeze too tight.

“Turtle…”

Slowly, with the softest of groans, Gai began to open his eyes. For the first time in his life, Kakashi got to see just what Maito Gai looked like when he was exhausted. Not in pain, or suffering another horrible migraine.

Pure, horrible exhaustion. A feeling Kakashi knew all too well.

Somehow, Gai made even that look good.

“Hello, Rival,” his voice is weak, but deep down hidden behind the aches and exhaustion there’s that excitement Kakashi knows all too well. The energy of a man still in the springtime of his youth. “How long?”

A question they have asked each other far too many times over the years. One Kakashi hopes he’ll never have to hear again now that the Five Shinobi Nations were at peace. “Too long,” he muttered. “But it’s alright. We have years ahead of us.” For the first time in days, there was a future to look forward to. “Just rest, for now, Turtle.”

Gai laughed for a second, instantly regretting it when his body began to ache. With a pained groan, he turned his head just enough to stare at Kakashi. “Are you ever…going to stop…calling me that?” he asked, cringing every few words due to the throbbing ache deep in his bones.

“No,” Not a threat, but a promise. A promise Kakashi would keep at all costs to be ridiculous and dorky for the rest of his life. “You’ll always be my Turtle.” Was it cheesy? Of course. That’s what Kakashi loved about it. The best love stories were the ones full of cheesy lines and stupid nicknames.

His love for Gai might not be romance novel worthy, but as long as it was a cheesy, absurd love, it was perfect.

[aonogifreactions]

Hug Headcanons: Revisited

a/n: ive felt like i should rewrite this for a while now. i hated seeing those stuped ~180 words, so.. thats why were here! xD i added yukio to the mix as well, since ive gotten this ask >:) huge thanks to @no-remorse​, who beta-read it for me <33

Tiny edit: I’d love to hear the feedback for this one! <3

Warnings: Spoiler in the last headcanon in Yukio’s part!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Lucifer, Amaimon, Astaroth.

★ Words: 2,1k.

Rin:

no matter where, who’s watching, or what had happened before, he’s gonna give you a big, big hug! he absolutely lives for your hugs, it soothes him emotionally so much and works as immediate relief.

almost always his one hand wraps around your waist, while the other one goes on your head as he nuzzles into your neck; his hugs are always tight, almost as if you were about to get taken away from him - he doesn’t really feel like that inside, but.. he likes feeling that you’re here. present. for him.

after a fight, he immediately runs into your arms and almost makes you both fall on the ground as you nearly lose your balance when his arms wrap around you; feeling your embrace, your warmness.. something in his mind switches right away and he’s calm. he’s still shaking, but it gradually stops as he relaxes in your arms.

at first, he might be a little shy, but when he gets comfortable, he can’t keep his arms away from you. He just.. loves feeling you. hugs make him somewhat vulnerable, because he lets his frustration out, and at the same time - Rin gets an extreme dose of serotonin. He tends to place his forehead on yours just before he loosens his hold on you, and eventually moves on do to his things.

depending on your height, he still loves hugging the same! if you’re short - during hugging, he also places his cheek on your head, leaving a soft kiss on your hair. if you’re tall - he loves!! hugging!! into your chest!! or whatever he reaches!! he’s just snuggling into you like a madman.

he gets butterflies in his stomach when you hug him from behind and almost starts stuttering. (do it when he's cooking or sumn,, but u didn't hear it from me) 

also, please, PLEASE wrap your arms around his neck. he’s gonna MELT.

Yukio:

his hugs are rare, but it’s not like he doesn’t touch you - it’s just Yukio being Yukio; hugs make him vulnerable, similarly to Rin, except that it’s Yukio’s way to “open up” about his problems a little. It’s surely a very small step forward, but it shows that he's trying, yet he doesn’t realize how much it actually helps him.

he prefers to hug somewhere where there are not so many people around, not necessary in private completely, but as long as you’re the only one with him in the room, he’s down for a hug if he feels like it (or you beg him enough lol).

he’s usually silent during hugging, but he really “quietly” lets his frustration out, you might even catch him sighing. at first, he embraces you with only one arm and places his head on your shoulder, but when it hits him - the emotions, that he’s been waiting for years and now he’s finally able to tell someone everything - he’s almost crying, but he intertwines his other hand with yours instead. even though there are no real words shared, his love language involuntarily shows the beauty of his complicated personality.

now, he’s a little “unwilling” to hug you, mostly because of all that emotions crashing on him, but he feels so much better afterwards.. it’s unreal, he feels like you used some kind of magical spell on him.

the worst time to hug him is probably when he’s angry - and while it seems like a totally normal thing, it doesn’t work as comfort for him - it makes him even more upset, so it’s really best to leave him alone for some time. he knows your intentions are good though, so usually, he comes back to you with a calmed mind and apologizes.

I picture his S/O being in this mess in chapter 126, where the twins just beat the shit out of each other, and suddenly Yukio’s s/o comes up to him and stops from shooting Rin - he’d have that mental wall blocking him from hurting you in any way, just when he realizes he points his guns at your face or grabbing his hands and attempting to get Rin out of his target range - both of those things and any similar scenarios would end up with him looking at you with those beautiful, yet unfortunate eyes showing so much pain and sadness, along with that broken expression on his face, hoping to understand him.

Mephisto:

we’re gonna have fun here. hugging with Mephisto is pretty common, he likes touching you physically and doesn’t really care if people see it - he’ll push boundaries as far as he can, but unless it’s someone or something really important, he stops and gets serious. 

^unless it’s Arthur, he could politely knock on the door. Hearing the permission to come in, the first thing he sees is Mephisto hugging you with a hand on your lower back, heading dangerously onto your ass while casually giving him random papers and smirking at him. wow.

if you think the twins’ grip was tight, Mephisto’s gonna literally try to squish you into his body - it’s not hugging if your bodies aren’t touching themselves in EVERY possible way. You could be practically glued to him and he won’t complain - in fact, he’s gonna have that shit-eating grin and tease you by saying “hmm, aren’t you needy, darling? you can’t be away from me even if I work!” (even if.. it was him who called you over...)

he GETS handsy and you can’t do anything about it. and he really does it on purpose, just to tease you and see how much time it takes for you to get either horny or snap at him. nonetheless, he likes to place hands around your waist or just on your hips, then shove you into him, so he’s able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

hugs definitely show his rather “softer” side, the silly one - but he also doesn’t hesitate to hug you when he’s serious; these hugs, however, tend to be quicker but more intimate. even if it’s just him standing next to you and placing his hand on your hip while watching the dark sky, stars flickering slightly as you feel a slight, cold breeze hit your face; you look at him, wondering what he’s thinking about, this incredibly sharp mind with hundreds, perhaps thousands of different thoughts. Is he reflecting? Reminiscing? Regretting? or is his mind wandering around some silly thoughts? Yet you’re the one left wondering, not noticing his emerald eyes have focused on yours a while ago. You take your eyes off him, slightly embarrassed, hearing only a faint chuckle and feeling his grip tightening on you as you two once again gaze at the glittering galaxy above you.

Lucifer:

due to his body being not as strong as Mephisto’s - he’s usually down for cuddling instead. however, when some of the elixirs do their job, he’s gonna give you hugs pretty often.

prefers to be in private when he really wants to give you a genuine hug; he doesn’t want to show others he fell for the trap named “love”. he lets himself be a hypocrite about it, for once (ekhem satan and yuri).

Of course, tiny hugs wouldn’t be forgotten while attending stuff anywhere else on Dominus Liminis, but they’re just quick hugs when you walk past him. he isn’t ashamed of you by any means, in fact, he’s proudly walking along with you most of the time, having a hand either on your waist or interlaced with yours.

Lucifer’s hugs are very, very confident and send butterflies to your stomach - he radiates that strong energy to make you feel secure in his arms - the world could be falling, but as long as you’re in his arms, he’ll do anything to protect you from any harm, even if this means losing his precious body.

sometimes he hugs you in his own, unique way - he interlaces both of his hands with yours and places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and sighing softly. while you might think it’s not really a hug, it’s definitely a very sweet gesture. you can get a kiss on the temple or a few sweet and uplifting words whispered in your ear too, if he feels particularly affectionate that day.

his views on physical contact are... a little bizarre; he’s confused and doesn’t fully understand the purpose of it, yet - he will admit it’s quite satisfying. feeling your lover is definitely something that feeds the feelings he’s had deep within him. he might be a little stiff when you introduce him to this too, no matter how many times he’d seen humans do it - experiencing it for the first time is new to him, but surely it is something he grew to enjoy.

 so what’s that “hugging” thing again? you just wrap your arms around someone and.. that’s it? are you supposed to just stay like this? how long? - that’s pretty much half of his thoughts going through his head when he hugs you.

it takes him quite a long time until he “learns” it just “makes him feel better”. he understands (kinda) the idea of it, but deeper down, he’s still pretty puzzled.

In the early stages of hugging, Amaimon didn't realize how strong his hugs were - if he didn’t break any bone of yours, then it’s a miracle. As soon as he noticed you almost passing out, he stopped and the guilt of possibly causing you harm has kicked in, so he promised you to make it up the best way he can.

Amaimon doesn’t realize it - but as time passes he grew used to hugs! Especially greeting hugs, which at this point he doesn’t realize he gives  - it’s become a habit of his.

not a fan of long hugs - to say it bluntly, he becomes bored if it lasts too long (unless there’s been a fight beforehand, in this case, he understands you want to regain the sense of security that physical body is able to give). he likes quick hugs instead, which he gives more often.

Amaimon’s hugs are pretty simple - he wraps his arms around your waist and that’s.. pretty much it. He might rub your back sometimes, but to be honest - he just likes the simplicity. Funnily enough, when Behemoth notices you hugging, he also wants to participate! Tiny demon bounces your way and while it’s near your leg, he starts clinging to it and nuzzling himself (Amaimon’s kinda >:((((((( when he sees Behemoth snuggling, but it’s his boyo so he forgives him).

However, Amai gets really mad when he sees you hugging someone else than him. Unless it’s a close friend or family member, he’s.. somewhat accepting this, but if it’s someone he doesn’t know - he’ll either try to fight them or take you bridal style in his arms and just go away.

He also gets awfully handsy, which he probably picked up from Mephisto. His one hand might slowly slide down to grope your ass cheeks; when you look at his face questionably, he’s just gonna place the other hand on your ass as his answer.

Astaroth:

his understanding is even worse than Amaimon’s, so he’s initially against it. he doesn’t understand the purpose of it and it's very hard to convince him otherwise, saying something along the lines of “if you need your “physical contact” we can fuck on the counter”.

continuously asking him would only make the situation worse, as he’d get annoyed more each second, eventually making him leave the house for a few days. one situation, however, changed his mind the most - he’s once lashed out at you, leaving you crying. he left nonetheless and waited a few days until he cooled off. feeling bad for his actions and regretting doing it for once, he came back, but instead of confronting you - he left a withering rose with a note.

he’s learned a little bit from that situation - seeing that you accept his quirks, he decided to try out some of your ideas - including hugging. and oh boy, how wrong he was.

he will NOT admit he likes hugs for his life; very “tsundere” approach to it, but you can catch his face being relaxed sometimes.

his favorite hug is.. hugging you from behind! whenever you’re cooking or being busy just in general, he loves surprising you with a hug, encircling his hands around your belly as you flinch slightly, not expecting him. as an apology, he places a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

due to him being nasty, you gotta bear with his dirty-talking he’s “performing” every time he hugs you. he also WILL tease you by groping your chest with no shame, attempt to give you hickies, and after a while - move his hands dangerously near your chest.

[ontowanderlust]

Shaw+family life?

Thank you. Your prompts are AMAZING.Just wanted to let you know. 😊

Family., n.

He's not blind. Anyone can see the hints she had emitted even from a thousand meter away.

She's not afraid to voice out the things she had set her sights on, and she's stubborn enough to stick to her decision when she's made up her mind, especially when she made up her mind.

He knew all these things and yet, he foolishly allowed her to simmer in her thoughts until she found the courage to bring it up.

“Don't you think it's time to start for us to have a baby?”

“And where did you get that crazy notion from?”

“I'm just saying, I think it would be great for us-”

He scoffed at his carelessness. He should've been forthcoming, he should've been clear right from the start.

“I don't want a family.”

He didn't mean to sound so harsh, for his voice to turn icy cold as he cut her off. There wasn't any excuse and he had no plans of taking back what he said, no matter what but seeing that devastated look on her face, he couldn't help but wishing for a do over.  

He had hurt her and he couldn't stand it.

Was that the reason he fled? Leaving her all alone in that apartment of theirs, stunned and confused. Or was it perhaps he couldn't bring himself to tell her the flashes of darkness that looms over his mind, accompanied by the remnants of biting threats, harsh whispers of hatred and disgust followed by the reverberating sound of shattered glass and agonized cries?

How can he tell her the nights where he'd lay with his eyes open, the hazy images of a woman with broken smile and tear-streaked face, pitifully reaching over to him and a vague mirage of a man whose back is turned against him- them, haunting him until morning?

He didn't know for how long he sat there, hunched in a random bench just nearby. All he knew was the weather had greatly shifted to his mood, small rumble of thunder can be heard as raindrops descended onto him, soaking him immediately.

A baby. A family.

People like him doesn't deserve one. He already had a fucked up one, he doesn't feel like adding more to it. Not when it could taint her, turn her into an empty shell like his mother. He couldn't bring himself to do that to her.

He'd rather have her hate him than having a broken family in the long run.

Because that's what it was to be a family right?

Okay, let’s all put the pitchforks down folks and I’m gonna explain myself before I get executed here. 

I think... I can see Shaw as someone who is haunted by his past and while he’s too young, he would have an idea of what his family is like and this would distort his perception with the concept of family. He and Gavin deserved better childhood, imo. If you’re gonna ask me if I HC Gavin to be like this too, *shrugs* who knows. 

Now, okay there’s no genre and I know it says family life but I just couldn’t resist putting ourselves in the angst train and as much as I wanted to end things on a lighter note, I don’t think it’s possible given as to what just transpired. SO! Anonymous corp., your task is to give me a word that will make me able to imagine a possible ending for this story- a word when defined would give us all the fluff we need. And I don’t mean Family life part 2 + Shaw + fluff. XD There are so many words in different languages, it needs to be recognized.  

Okay, I’m done your honor. Get your pitchforks ready now. 

One last thing: to the anon, thank you so much for your kind words. Truly, you’ve made my day and here I go repaying you with angst lol. I’m sorry! Forgive me please! 

These prompts give me something to look forward to and I’m glad you guys appreciate the prompts and my writings. There are also people who’re working on these prompts so go give them some love too! 

That said, send in some more prompts!

MLQC Dictionary Prompts

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x22 Only You

Does that mean Storybrooke’s magic is gone now that Rumple has tethered it to the crystal?

Well, I guess he can’t have taken all of it or Regina wouldn’t have been able to teleport etc.

Henry’s relationship with magic is like a freaking rollercoaster. At first, he thinks it’s the best thing in the world, then he hates it so much he wants to destroy it, then it’s the best thing in the world, then he tries to destroy it, then it’s the best thing in the world! But that’s kids for you, I guess! I’m sure I was like that and still can be. Come to think of it, would putting dynamite in the well in season 2 have destroyed magic?

Is that needle that’s put dozens of people under a sleeping curse the same one Maleficent used on Aurora?

Henry’s literally so powerful. I wish he could use his author powers more.

How is taking the crystal out of SB gonna destroy magic in SB?

Oh, so Rumple tethered the magic but didn’t technically absorb it from the town, so they can still use it.

Why can’t Regina text Henry to say that destroying magic would destroy SB? 

Guess they can go over the town line now, for the first time in like forever. But I guess Emma & Regina & Henry could already cross the threshold, possibly Violet too as she didn’t come over with the first curse. And then the others are brought to New York by a portal. 

Oh! So that’s why they can use magic in the lwom? Because Henry brought the crystal aka all the magic of Storybrooke there.

Aww. Henry and Violet are cute. I just wouldn’t recommend reading the Henry and Violet book if you appreciate their relationship in the show.

Oh, thank God. Zelena does promise to bring baby Robin to visit her brother Roland! I need them to have known each other growing up! I bet they’re really close. And Roland is just as sweet as ever and has to stop his sister being reckless. The Hufflepuff to her Slytherin (+ Gryffindor tendencies), if you will. And I need fics where Roland doesn’t grow up to be vengeful and angry. Once a Hufflepuff cupcake, always a Hufflepuff cupcake.

Did Regina agree to Roland going back to Sherwood Forest? I’m surprised she didn’t adopt him. It must have been the Merry Men’s decision because no way would they take orders from Zelena. 

Aww! Roly kissing his baby sis!! I’m gonna miss you Roly!! Literally the most adorable kid! Aww and Granny kisses him on the head too! I die!!

Look at his little mittens!!

I’m guessing he doesn’t know she killed his mama but maybe he knows that she posed as her and in a strange way enjoyed his time with her? I mean, I guess you can say that as Marian Zelena did, at least, take care of Roland and bond with him. Maybe she always wanted to be a mother? Still doesn’t excuse her killing Marian and posing as her. Just trying to make sense of this hug. Maybe Roland is just super forgiving! And you can say it’s cause he’s a child but let me tell you, I was so much less willing to forgive really terrible things as a child than I am now. 

Omg. They all fell so hard through that portal! Ow!

Emma’s genuinely worried Regina’s gonna put a sleeping curse on her.

Baelfire was trying to destroy magic in New York?

Ron used sellotape to try to fix his wand, so why not?

Omg Davis Bloom, love of my life! Well, it’s Hyde but this guy loves to play literal monsters! Listen, before Once Upon a Time, Smallville was my hardcore special interest show. I rewatched it so many times since I was 9! Anyway, Chloe was my favourite character and I’d always been a Chloe x Clark shipper and then Davis came along and Chlavis became my otp. He loved her so much! He gave her the love and attention she deserved! Yes it was messed up but that’s what 12-year-old me was and is here for! My mum and I were so excited when we found out the actor was gonna be in Ouat! I loved Davis to bits and ngl, was highly attracted to him (as was my mama), so excuse me as I continue to be thirsty over Hyde.

Back to the rewatch!

Hyde strangling people is my jam lol.

Snow, my girl, you really can’t keep a secret. She darn told Hyde about the Dark One’s love being pregnant! Oh well, love her anyway. And also, she was 10.

I’ll never forget, I once cut my eye and it legit looked like one of Hyde’s but scarier. It was so frightening to look at and really uncomfortable, but it healed eventually. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it. But it looks cool and sexy on Hyde xD. 

Is that the same book Tilly finds at Henry’s place in 7x14?

Regina: “like with Hook, my first impulse was to rip his throat out.” Jesus Regina! You’re saying that to the woman who just went to the Underworld for Hook and thought she’d lost him forever. He’s someone she loves. That’s intense! As someone who’s been told by a loved one, threateningly, that they are (completely seriously) going to violently kill another loved one, several times, that is so not cool. Luckily no one was killed though, it’s okay. 

I recently read a really interesting meta about Regina’s motivation for redemption being intellectual. Like she says here, she doesn’t want to do good. She hates doing good but she knows that villainous acts won’t get her her happy ending and so she reasons that in order for things to go less awful for her, she must to good. She doesn’t do it because of empathy, guilt or regret, she does it because she figures it’s what the heroes are doing and things are going right for them and because if she goes back to her evil ways she knows she’ll lose Henry and her new and only support network. I think the same can be said for Zelena’s motivations to do good. No shade, just an analysis.

Well at least she’s using the word “I” to express that she did those things. But, she seems more concerned about those things hanging over her than for what she did to her victims and how they felt and suffered.  She even seems more upset at the fact that she has lost a love again than the fact that Robin lost his life and his kids have lost their father.

Hmm. Interesting. She seems to suggest here that before she didn’t know the difference between good and evil. You know what, that could be true because she didn’t really get why people called her the ‘Evil Queen’ and then there’s the fact she was raised by Cora and Henry Sr. Cora probably warped her perception of good and evil and her father positively reinforced a lot of the evil Regina did and didn’t explain to her why the things Cora did and the lessons she taught were wrong.

Why are all those stories in the library? That makes no sense. 

There’s a problem. If the grail is the origin of all magic and Merlin found it around 1500 years before the present (apparently Merlin was a runaway slave too. Of course he flipping was!), how comes Gothel and Seraphina had magic thousands of years ago? I mean, I suppose they were from another land (that Gothel killed almost all the inhabitants of), so I guess people just don’t know magic didn’t originate from the grail. I mean, since the God’s had magic before the grail, and nymphs possibly have relations to gods, I suppose it makes sense that Gothel had magic but then, what about Seraphina? How does she have magic and how did she live so long? Did Gothel cast a spell on her that made her practically immortal or was she already immortal?

Well, that was easy for Rumple lol.

Transforming looks really painful.

The thing is. They shouldn’t have separated Jekyll from Hyde. I think it would have been cooler if they hadn’t. Sure, they can make Jekyll the true villain but why not have the heroes try to save Jekyll as Hyde thwarts their plans at every turn to the point where they have to agonize over hurting Jekyll to defeat Hyde. The same can be said for Regina. Don’t split them up! Just have Regina transform into the Evil Queen so you can’t tell when she’s Regina and when she’s the EQ working on her evil plan. That would’ve been really fun to watch and to try to figure out which persona she was and when! Also, they should have just made Jekyll transform when emotionally compromised rather than when taking the potion because without an assistant Jekyll could have easily lived without Hyde ever returning. 

I hate the look of that wand.

Hydes theme sounds so awesome!

Also, it would have been really cool to explore the Land of Untold Stories. It looks so rad!

How can Hyde summon the portal? Don’t you have to have enough dark magic?! I guess maybe his strength and durability are enhanced by dark magic?

Rumple, I don’t think Belle can here you in that box.

Can I marry Hyde now? I want to marry Hyde. 

[x-exo]

*slides into your asks with a rose in my mouth* why hello, tis me!

Apologies for the long wait but your favorite long asks anon is here and OOF so much has happened. Let us break it down one by one lol

Monsta x our beans, welp we can officially say we are army wives for them because shownu is now at the military and just welp this feels weird lol. I lowkey forgot he was meant to enlist so when the news came out I went through so many emotions. Its why the latest comeback feels a bit bittersweet to me. It is their BEST for sure and for this year, I agree so to not see him perform right before he left is a bit sad. I don't blame him of course (if anyone does i am fish slapping you) but just a shame. I'm happy we do get content with him still? Seems pre-planned so that is nice!

Onto legends exo, fantastic comeback. I cannot stop listening to the album, its just bops full of bops to me. They broke so many records and I'm over here sipping my tea because fudge yes. It isn't a full member comeback, 2 of the members featured in the comeback are off playing call of duty and they still did THAT. While having lay properly in the comeback!? (Or at least some form, better than tempo era!) Kyungsoo my beloved, the man that can swoon you off your feet, his proper solo album. Omg I am just in love? The album feels like a Playlist that you hear while taking a walk or on a raodtrip? I love it, I just love everything about this with how much thought was given. It makes me feel warm and I'm so proud of him (I think he even got a first win) but sadly xiumin got the it shall not be named virus D: I feel so bad and I can only hope he gets better! It makes me worried because I keep seeing more and more idols getting sick and I can't help but wonder why don't the kpop entertainment just put a pause with stuff? Of course that is VERY unrealistic, I am aware that is naive for me to think but its just so idk how to word it properly (my English brain is not working I am sorry) I cannot help the feeling of while I get people are being safe and yes we need to still live like normal beings, is it worth risking idols health just for some entertainment? Idk how to explain my thoughts properly but maybe I hope I made sense!!

Onto svt! That is perfectly fine to not vibe with a comeback! I will admit, I didn't fully vibe with this comeback and it shocked me because every comeback was a hit to me. Even fear, left and right or homerun where I know many fans were split on, I liked but RTL was a grower. For me, listening to it without watching the mv, helped it alot and it is a song I like. Is it their best? No I don't think so but it is alright to say "hey I didn't bop to this, not my cup of tea" (imo I blame the mv? The mv REALLY didn't do the song justice at all, I am sorry if I sound like a fake fan but this mv Just is bad in all aspects. Sure we have some pretty shots but like it just doesn't fit at all?) So if anything listening to the song or wishing the live performances does it better. Seeing the choreography amps the song up more, cannot go wrong with their dancing. As for the rest of the songs, I admit game boy is my top favorite? Idk if it is because I am a gaming nerd and found all the production of the song so creative but yeah. We can wait for the next comeback! Svt always have something up their sleeves, plus we do have their music projects to look forward too (I wonder when we will get one? Seeing as RTL promotions stopped) some positive news with the boys is they resigned like a year before their contract ends and I'm a bit emotional :') I'm excited to see the boys future projects. We did have caratland recently! Did you watch it if I may ask? We did get in the soop confirmation so I'm excited to watch that, the boys deserve that nice break (even if it was filmed for a show fjsbsns)

Ok I think that is it for kpop updates? XD I do hope life has been treating you kindly! Life has been a bit all over the place sadly so I hope it wasn't like that for you as well! Until next time my bean!

hii!!!! omg sorry for the late reply i've been pretty busy these days 🙈

indeed so much has happened! and much more since you sent this ask omg!!

our shownu is at war *looks into the distance* *wipes away tear* *sighs* by now I got used to enlistment news (see what happens when you stan 2nd and 3rd gen groups) but STILL [[IT HURT]] when they uploaded the monchannel videos of his goodbye day like ????? what kind of twisted mind diuhdfuihdifuhs but the boys were all so cute and soft but they seemed so sad they didn't want to let go of their super leader :(( I hope he's learning lots and making new friends (and also we've got our international super spy yoo kihyun giving us small updates on him every now and then so everything's fine!). Yeah I totally get you it felt empty without him this comeback and at first it didn't really clicked with me but when the enlistment news came out i understood he had to take care of his health and thoroughly check on his eye sight in order to be 100% ready for the military so it made sense he had to be absent :( everything was so close (the comeback and enlistment) that I'm sure there was no other way for doing it I'm pretty sure he couldn't maybe postpone the enlistment day any further

onto exo! my ksoo my soft boi my romantic boi 🥺 his album is so him SO HIM i can't explain it bur it's just HIM you know it's the type of album you'd play on loop on a summer afternoon when you've taken your papers and paints outside in the garden to paint a bit with the warm soft breeze moving the trees lightly 🤧 and he signs in English and SPANISH (he did it for me) my multilingual king he's a native. Also I've been watching Honeymoon Tavern with Jongin these days and OMG i could d word for him really (if you haven's watched it go do it when you have time) he's SO SOFT and SO CUTE and he works as a waiter and a wedding planner and helps with the room preparations and is also a tour guide and he's just so cute so happy al the time the way he interacts with everyone is so 🥺🤧😭 onto more serious stuff now: yeah i was so worried about minseok catching covid omg but i'm glad he went through it with our any major complication and the rest of the boys are safe too! I guess the industry doesn't stop bc that would mean a huge loss of thousands and thousands of dollars/won/etc so as long as the gov doesn't prohibit going out or gathering like at the beginning of the pandemic, they'll keep on going with the idols' schedules otherwise the industry would just shut down having no way of earning money to sustain all the companies and idols.

as for seventeen! yeah i like the songs too! the mv sure ruined rtl and listening to it without watching it has really helped it grow on me more but still it feels kind of meh to me idk i really like anyone i think it's my favourite from the album. AND NOW WE'VE GOT A COMEBACK IN OCTOBER!!!! yayyyyy i can't wait they seem to be preparing very diligently (i hope they release a sexy bop) it's a shame junhao aren't gonna be present for this comeback but i'm soooooo happy they have the opportunity to visit their families again omg they have spent 2 whole years without seeing them in the flesh they must be so happy to get back to them again!!! it's so funny seeing them be bored at the quarantine hotel and doing lives every day duhdfiudhfiuh i hope it passes quickly and they can see their loved ones finally! and I did watch Caratland!! omg the unit switch song was the best thing ever hhu doing lilili yabbay and not being able to stop laughing idfuhdifuhs perf team doing chocolate and owning it????? hello??? performance team more like main vocal team wow! and the vocal team being a complete mess during check in lmaooo i loved it! In The Soop has finally started!!! I love these kind of "normal life" concepts I love seeing the boys being themselves cooking and relaxing I've watched the first and second eps as of today and also few clips from the third and omg mingyu and jeonghan drowning in the pond dfuhidfhidfs lmao they're so dumb i love them 🤣 i'm glad they could go away for a few days and spend time together away from their hectic schedules!

I hope you're well now and if not hang in there it'll all pass soon enough! 🥰💕 bye bye!!

p.s.: I got your request for the svt this or that gifset and i promise i’ll do it one day i just don’t feel like giffing these days dhbduusi i’m out of energy 

[galactic-magick]

Secret Darling: Logan x Reader

Request: Hiya! I was wondering if you could maybe make a Logan x reader, (Gender neutral or female), where Logan's just casually sitting on the couch, (and I mean casual like he's not wearing his tie and is just, casual for once), typing away on his laptop when reader just wants attention and affection? Like just pure fluff, and a lot of it? XD - @zarieslayer​

Summary: None of the sides know you and Logan are dating and you wish you could be more openly affectionate.

Words: 1300+                                        

Warnings: Lots of kiss kiss

Author’s Notes: Combined this request with an idea I had for a secret dating AU lol. I also got very flustered writing this so hopefully it meets your fluff standards 😂 also this gif is gonna give me a stroke geez louise

Taglist: @luluwinchester​ @nerve-ous-love​ @zarieslayer​

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Logan wouldn’t be caught dead like this except when he’s with you. He maintains a strict image of professionalism at all times. It gives him confidence, puts him in an intellectual mindset, and convinces everyone around him he’s serious and not to be messed with. He never as much as loosens his tie outside of closed doors.

Only with you does he allow himself to breathe, especially since you’re the only person he shows the softer part of himself to. None of the other sides know you two are together. It would completely destroy his reputation if they knew he has feelings, after all. Still, he does make an effort to spend as much time with you as he can when he’s not working. You meet him in his room nearly every day, and he gives you attention whenever he can when the others aren’t watching.

When you come in, he’s lounging on the couch, laptop on his lap, with the top few buttons of his shirt undone. His tie is completely off and his hair is a bit messy, but he’s still incredibly focused.

“Oh, hello darling,” he greets you.

“Hey,” you sigh, sitting down next to him. “How long have you been working on that?”

He doesn’t look up, continuing to type furiously, “Just a few hours,”

“A few hours?”

“Yes,”

“Don’t you want to take a break?”

“I will when I’m finished,”

“When will that be?”

“If I stay on schedule, approximately two more hours,”

“Two more hours?!”

He locks eyes with you, “You seem to be distressed over the normal passage of time, darling, are you quite alright?”

“Yeah…” you rest your head on his shoulder. “I was just hoping to get a bit of affection, that’s all,”

“Oh,”

“I know you’re super busy, but I just don’t think taking a break would really hurt,” you shrug, sitting up. “Did you know that in many people cuddling and kissing releases hormones that benefit your health? And people who hug a lot tend to have lower blood pressure levels?”

He smirks, “Sweetheart, are you trying to use knowledge against me?”

“Plus the happy chemicals or whatever can help you fight off sickness and sleep better, and we all know how much you love getting enough sleep,”

“Is that all?”                  

“Well you probably know more about science stuff than me, but there’s definitely bajillions of other benefits too, maybe kissing can cure allergies or something,”

“I don’t believe that’s correct,”

“Prove it, then,” you grin. “Kiss me ‘til I never sneeze again,”

“Darling, if all you wanted was for me to kiss you all you had to do was ask,” he closes his laptop and sets it aside. “You know I’d do anything you desire,”

You giggle as he interlaces his fingers with yours and pulls you close to him. He kisses your forehead first, then your nose, then each of your cheeks. His kisses are deliberate yet adoring, slow but not teasing. He presses his lips along your jaw and then stops to look into your eyes, taking a moment to memorize your flushed face before finally kissing your lips.

Your heart flutters as he moves his hands to cradle your face, running the pads of his thumbs across your cheekbones.

“Don’t you ever wish we could do this in front of the others?” you ask between kisses.

Logan pulls away, his fingers grazing down your neck and landing on your shoulders, “You…want to do this in front of everyone?”

“Well not this exactly,” you hesitate. “I mean like just casual quick pecks, holding hands, being able to cuddle when we have group movie nights,”

He looks down, “Would that…would that make you feel loved? Would that make you happier?”

“Oh, Logan,” you lift his chin up. “I do feel loved, and I am happy. I’m just saying it would be nice, that’s all,”

“It’s settled then,” he nods. “We won’t keep this a secret anymore,”

“Really?” you squeal, falling onto him and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Yes,” he hugs you back tightly. “Although we should consider breaking it to them slowly, possibly have a bit of fun,”

“Fun, huh?”

“Are you questioning my ability to have fun?”

“Maybe a little bit,” you laugh.

“I simply think the best way to tell them is by acting as if they already knew, isn’t that fun?”

“You want to gaslight them?”

“That’s a bit of a strong word, but essentially, yes,”

“Have you been spending time with Janus?”

“Absolutely not,” he runs his knuckles down the side of your head. “You know I spend all my free time with you,”

“Ah, yes,”

“Would you like to resume?”

“Please,”

 -

 The next morning you meet everyone for breakfast and coffee in the kitchen. You give Logan a quick smooch before sitting down, and the others stare in disbelief.

“Please tell me I was not the only one who just saw that,” Roman gasps.

“What’s the matter, never seen a kiss before?” Virgil rolls his eyes.

“Excuse me, I have seen and experienced many kisses!”

Patton starts making indistinguishable noises, something between screaming and hyperventilating, “Logan!!! When were you going to tell us?!”

“Sure, whatever Princey,”

“You’re not at all shocked by this Virgil?”

“Not really. I’ve seen them going into the closet to make out a couple times,”

“What?!”

You give Logan a look, and you can tell he’s really struggling to stay composed. This is not going according to plan, especially since this didn’t seem to be as much of a secret in the first place as you thought.

“Alright, fine, you got us,” you surrender. “We’ve been together for a while now,”

“Awwww!!” Patton bounces in his chair.

Roman bursts out laughing, “Ha! Logan’s in looove,”

Logan turns his head to him and tightens his tie, “I don’t quite understand why that is so humorous to you, Roman. Love may be nothing more than chemicals in the brain, but it is nothing less than an exquisite experience that brings a multitude of opportunities for growth and learning. I for one find it quite exhilarating, and I hope one day you too will find someone who makes you feel the same,”

The table is dead silent for a moment.

“Wow,” Roman exhales. “How do you manage to sound so nerdy even when you’re being mushy?”

“It’s a talent only for the true intellectuals,” you butt in, reaching your hand across to grab Logan’s. “See you guys later,” you wink and dash out of the kitchen, pulling Logan along with you. You go into the closet and shut the door.

Logan let’s out a long sigh of relief, “You know, we don’t have to hide in here anymore,”

“Yeah…” you chuckle. “Did Virge really see us? We were being so careful,”

“I suppose not careful enough,” he grins. “But it no longer matters,”

You smile, pressing yourself against him and he wraps his arms around your waist, “That was really sweet what you said,”

“Well it’s true. Loving you has taught me much, and I wouldn’t trade it for the knowledge of a thousand books,”

“You’re adorable,”

“Only for you,” he smirks. He tightens his arms around you and gently captures your lips. You grab the collar of his shirt and deepen the kiss, only stopping when a bright light hits your eyes.

You both look towards the door to see Patton standing there with his mouth wide open.

“Oh! Uh, sorry kiddos,” he grabs his coat. “Just needed to get this, uh, thing,”

You cover your eyes and slam your head into Logan’s chest in embarrassment.

“Anyways, have fun! Stay safe!” Patton waves and closes the door.

“I’m beginning to think it would be favorable to find a new designated affection spot,”

“Yeah…but not yet,” you pull him back to you, kissing him hard.

[amaikana]

Here is the same Anon from the previous question. Thank you for your previous answer. Now I would like to know your headcanons in relation to the TPN characters.

Hi! I actually have SO MANY headcanon of them, but sadly I forgot a lot of it too.. Ah, anyway! I’ll share some of it here :3

Ray has a crush on Norman Okay, this one is biased. But oh Lord, this boy: 1) been openly admiring Norman for years, 2) losing his usual cool head the moment he’s aware Norman would be shipped, 3) got so heartbroken after Norman being shipped away, 4) thought of Norman the moment they managed to escape the orphanage, 5) even Norman still the first one came to his mind when Emma got into danger in GoldyPond arc Dear, try to convince me otherwise. I dare you.

If he hadn’t know the truth, Ray would be the petulant kid as a child Well, before we get to that, let’s talk about my interpretation of Ray first. As I see it, Ray’s always been the least people pleaser out of the trio. Emma is selfish, but her selfishness is based on her idealistic wish for everyone’s happiness. Norman is pretty much similar. His mass murder plan despite himself being uncomfortable with the act of murder itself pretty much proves it. He didn’t only do it because of his friends from Grace Field, but also because he thinks of all the other children’s suffering in the Demon World. Ray, on the other hand, despite him being more openly caring with others after the escape, from the very start only doing it purely because his own selfishness. Because he wants to chase his own happiness, and that happiness comes from keeping the people who matters to him safe. I think it clearly shown when he intended to kill eliminate Yuugo in the forest when he realized that man wanted to kill Emma. Emma has always matter to him, but at that time Yuugo was just some random stranger to him so he didn’t care for that man. Now, related, I just think this fits, lol. I think he’d be that child who’d hog all his favorite toys to himself and only share it to his favorite friends (perhaps Norman & Emma, lol).

Nat & Anna have a crush on each other It’s been hinted in the manga that Nat might have a crush on Anna. When Anna was about to join along to get the medicine from the Factory Farm, Nat was shown clearly worried for her, AND also in awe of Anna’s prettiness when she tied her hair as she’s getting ready. So far, Anna hasn’t shown any signs yet of having a crush on Nat too. But at that time Peter hurt Nat, Anna is shown to be the only one who shouted after Nat, with Nat immediately tried to smile and convincing her and the others. I think it’s suffice to say that Anna at least cares and worries for Nat as much as Nat cares and worries for her. So, as a NatAnna shipper, I’m going to take this for granted for my headcanon of them, lol.

Mujika & Sonju have the strongest bond I think it’d make sense given that they’ve been on the run together for thousands years. Sonju cares about Mujika so much that he didn’t hesitate to step in front of her to protect her from the Queen back then at the Imperial Palace. Mujika herself, despite knowing that Sonju initially intend to help the children because he wanted to eat human meat again, still believe that Sonju would eventually change his mind, implying that she’s confident that she knows very much about Sonju.

Violet is a Non-Binary I recently found out that Violet uses the masculine pronoun “Boku” instead of the gender-neutral pronoun “Watashi” that is usually used by girls. But Violet also appeared to not mind it much when Emma admitted that she “thought Violet was a boy” before. Now, spectrum of gender is still kind of a taboo/unpopular topic in Asian countries (including mine). But perhaps in a modern world, I think Violet might identify as a non-binary. 

Norman doesn’t aware he loves Ray as much as he loves Emma And I’m not saying this as a Norray shipper. It’s clear that Norman is aware of his romantic love for Emma. But in a platonic sense, I think Ray is a person he cares as much as Emma. I’m saying that he’s not aware of it because Norman did plan to eliminate Ray had he turned out to be a complete traitor in the first arc. I think that one was just an “in the heat of the moment” decision. He probably wasn’t aware how much he’d regret it if he had really eliminated Ray back then.

In a normal life AU, Gilda would be that one person who’d always pay attention to the latest trends and gossips I mean. Idk why, but I think this headcanon just suits her, lol. (I can’t get over the fact that the first thing she wants to do after getting out of the orphanage is buying fancy clothes XD)

Thoma & Lannion are Emma’s partners-in-crime for pranking the rest of the kids in GF House I mean, let’s be honest. Their personalities just fit SO MUCH to be the pranksters of the family, lol.

Emma is the most affectionate one out of the trio, but she does it unconsciously, while Norman loves physical affection but almost never ask for it, and Ray is pretty neutral towards physical affection but he’d get all embarrassed if someone being affectionate with him Nothing much needs to be said with this one. This is just my own fun little headcanon about the trio vs affection, lol

Thank you for the ask!

---

EDIT (additional this I just remembered)

Ray and Thoma are Asian Kind of biased since I’m an Asian, but I think their dark hair and slanted eyes just fit with it

Norman is the younger kids’ favorite I remember that scene when Shelly and Marnya jumped on Norman when he’s sleeping to wake him up. Also that one scene when the younger kids jumped on Norman when they just saw him again at the Paradise Hideout. It’s just adorable, and I think he’s the type who’d get along well with little kids.

Anna would be Ray’s favorite younger sibling It’s canon that Ray has a high curiosity and the sense of need to know many things (he read all the books in the Grace Field library even though no one asked him to do it, and some of the books aren’t even needed to ace the test), and I think Anna is the similar type too. Although her interest is more towards medicines, from her choice of helping everyone by increasing her knowledge, I think she’s the bookworm type too. And imo it’s just cute imagining Ray noticing this and starts giving books recommendations to her.

[ofmcxie]

&&. ( ada rhodes ) was just spotted in amsterdam. rumor has it ( she ) is a ( 768 / appears [25] ) year old ( vampire ) who resembles ( anya chalotra ). ( she ) has been said to be ( dauntless & protective ) but also quite ( possessive & volatile ).with all the chaos surrounding the magical underworld, ( she ) has chosen to align with ( the vampires ). ( she ) is currently serving as ( an assassin ). hopefully the city doesn’t devour them whole. // fulfilling celine dahl’s rival

(( Hey guys!! I’m Jade and will be playing the lesbian vampire disaster that is Ada here. I’m always awful at these intro things, but i’m really looking forward to rping with you all :D Feel free to hmu for plots anytime because I live for them lol. Also, i’m going bullet point in the hopes I don’t write an entire essay and it gets too long to read, but we’ll see how well that goes...xD ))   

Backstory: 

Ada didn’t had the easiest start in life. Born to simple farm folk who never really wanted her, in a time of knights and holy wars when a woman’s sole purpose was considered marriage and children.  

She had never been that kind of girl. One of her earliest memories being a time she had tried to go out training with the boys only to be dragged back to their homestead to help her mother cook.

Her father drank a lot, and was an incredibly abusive individual. It certainly wasn’t helped by the fact he was a self-riotously religious man, and Ada had been born with a defect. Her irises had taken on a purple hue from the day she had opened them; not enough to be obvious unless you truly looked, but he had deemed it a mark of the devil. 

Ada hadn’t seen it that way. Instead, growing to relish in her uniqueness. Like a physical manifestation of her defiance burned into her very soul, it meant she wasn’t born to be weak. 

It caused a great many fights with both her parents who weren’t exactly good people at the best of times, going to bed beaten and hungry more often than not.

The years that followed were no kinder, Ada haven all but given up until one night, were a chance encounter would change her life forever. 

She’d been following the well-trodden path home when she’d been ambushed.    

Having nothing of value to give the bandits, they’d settled for some other form of payment. 

She’d tried to fight them tooth and claw when she realised what was happening, unarmed so fighting dirty, their blood both under her nails on her lips by the time they’d got her to the ground. But they had her now, and they were angry...She’d grown up used to getting in fightings, it was probably the reason she’d lasted as long as she had, but there were just too many of them.      

Ada had been incredibly lucky that day. The men not having time to do much of anything before they were being flung off her with such a speed and force that it blurred together. She couldn’t even see what was causing it, but was pretty certain she heard bones crack as they hit trees. 

She’d jumped to her feet uncertain whether to expect the same fate, but the whole situation had her reeling, and she’d fallen to her knees again before being able to do anything about it.      

An eery quite followed suite, and by the time she’d caught her breath long enough to look up again -- she would have never been prepared for the sight that met her. 

It was a woman; beautiful, covered in blood dripping from her mouth and...glorious. Where most would have been terrified Ada only found herself awestruck. 

She’d briefly contemplated if this individual’s fangs were a defect as her eyes had been, and the words were out of her mouth before she realised what she was saying.      

The comment may have been idiotic, but it seemed to snap the woman out of whatever trance she had been in. A low chuckle leaving her lips instead going for Ada’s neck. 

They’d begun to talk, and she’d found this woman was a skilled assassin of all things, apparently it’s easy to do when no one ever sees you. Women certainly weren’t capable of such a thing; it made her work easy. 

By the end of the night they’d ended up in a contract of sorts. This woman would teach her some tricks of the trade in exchange for her blood whenever asked for.  

Ada was hardly innocent, and if meant gaining even a modicum of power over her own life then she would grab it with both hands. 

They met in that very same spot often after that. Three years of being taught certain tricks; where to nick so you could leave the scene before anyone would notice, what substances made for the least traceable poisons.

She’d also helped her get over how she originally reacted to pain, teaching her how to lean into it instead. It was good thing to have in one’s repertoire if she ever got caught and interrogated -- But she unwittingly developed a slight thing for it in the process though she’d be damed if she’d ever admit that, and while she’s 100% a sadist at heart, she does still have a small weakness for it on certain occasions. 

The addiction of a vampire bite was no small thing either, and Ada began to believe she might be in over head with this woman; until the night raiders ransacked her village.  

She’d been left for dead, convinced it was the end...and yet woke up with a new lease of life. 

The woman had turned her, their relationship no longer being a one way street it seemed.    

Ada stayed with her for a few centuries before they eventually branched off on their own, though they’re still incredibly close to this day. 

Over the years that followed, she quickly gained notoriety for her ability to complete with freelance kill contacts so efficiently, and eventually flagged on the vampire court’s radar --- In the end being taken into their employ of her own volition, more than happy to serve the species that had granted her freedom. 

It was during one of these contracts she met an insufferable fallen angel who happened to be after the same person. It turned into a weird game of cat and mouse trying to thwart each other’s attempts, and Ada’s not even certain who actually got the kill in the end, but they still argue about it to this day.  

She’s been working for the king and his inner court ever since, and is incredibly loyal to them. She takes pride in being good at her job, and has no qualms killing for them without question -- Her only hard line is children, but that particular request has never come up anyway...     

Personality: 

Ada keeps her true nature very lowkey and acts differently around most people aside from a select few. She’s very much the ‘look like an innocent flower but be the serpent under it’ type character, and incredibly manipulative when she wants to be. This is especially prominent in the fact that Ada’s gay af, but she has no qualms flirting with men when they’re prey or she needs something from them. 

She really does love the colour of her eyes and is glad they didn’t change when she was turned, but on a job she’ll usually experiment with different coloured contacts due to the uniqueness of such features. 

Additionally, Ada’s completely down with this notion of vampires coming out of hiding, believing them to be a superior species that shouldn’t have to bow down to mutts or mortals just because their precious guardian angels deem it so — She plans on doing whatever she can to help further that cause.            

Connections: 

I’m literally open to anything, but here are just a few thoughts: 

Enemies with benefits: Filled by Celine Dahl. These two HATE each other; like passion of a thousand suns hate. I mean, Ada isn’t always the calmest person at the best of times, but Celine can somehow PISS HER THE FUCK OFF MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. With that being said, there’s also this weird pull between them. It’s like all that anger and hatred and loathing spills over into everything they do -- but Ada kind of lives for it. They just try to get under each other’s skin in every way possible. They’ve even slipped up a few times and had some pretty intense hate sex because FUCK I HATE YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH AND I REALLY WANT TO HURT YOU BUT YOU’RE ALSO REALLY HOT AND NOW MY HAND’S AROUND YOUR NECK AND YOUR STUPID FACE IS INCHES FROM MINE AND...screw it, i’m totally topping though don’t even try!!

Fuck buddies/booty calls 1/4: Rosalia Fuentes, TBA. Ada has nothing against sex workers and sees it as a reputable job like anything else, but like, girl is egotistic af and frankly sees the thought of paying for sex offensive of her skill set. These would basically just be her go-to people whenever she’s back in Amsterdam, and wants someone who’s just completely dtf from the moment they meet up rather than pursuing someone new.

Vampires with the same maker who she weirdly considers family despite hating the term: TBA. I just...love the idea of this? Like Umbrella Academy-esk sort of misfit family that would actually kill for each other.   

People who’s family members/loved ones she’s killed, not that they’d know it was actually her...Or if they do there’s no way to prove it: TBA. Just give me allll the angst!    

I would love you 5eva if you actually brought her Maker here. 

Her favourite blood doll: TBA. Same as the fuck buddies connection, but already pretty addicted to being bitten. Ada doesn’t mind paying for this sort of thing as much, though this would be someone who doesn’t make her pay for it even if they work as one, or maybe that’s not even what they do for a living? Basically an individual Ada would consider making personally her’s if she was around more consistently and didn’t run the risk of having them in constant withdrawal mode.   

Anything else you can think of, come at me!!

[alirhi]

guys... idefk lol

Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 3/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable.

WARNINGS: m/m, in case that wasn't obvious. probably some swearing. I rarely do explicit sex but it might get to that point, depending on if the mood strikes me. If you're under 18, just go away XD Notes: I'm sorry I keep skipping around in the timeline. I'm kinda just letting my brain do whatever the hell it wants right now lol Also, I am aware that the conversation with Thor in the SHIELD camp happened before Loki tried to pick up Mjolnir. Given that it happening the other way around suited my purposes, I've elected to ignore that fact XD

He'd never used his powers for an offensive before. Over a thousand bloody years of life, of training with the most skilled witch in Asgard (his mother, naturally), and he'd never thought to weaponize any of his abilities! Impotent rage was really the most obnoxious feeling. Bucky was trapped, was being forced to kill for the organization he'd fought so hard to take down, and Loki had promised – he'd promised! - to save him, but he couldn't. Not yet.

Thor was an oaf, but he was a warrior. The hothead loved nothing more than conquest. Perhaps the Trickster should start spending time with his brother again. They could hardly stand each other, but there was nothing Loki wouldn't do or endure to rescue Bucky, now that he knew he was alive.

He had time, thankfully. He knew from Bucky's cloudy, fragmented memories that HYDRA froze him between missions to keep him disoriented and compliant. Likely it was also to keep their assassin around longer. He loathed to leave him in their clutches, but he didn't see another option. It wouldn't be much of a rescue nor revenge if Loki's mostly passive abilities only got them both killed. It wasn't easy for a human to kill an Asgardian, but it could be done. Better not to risk it.

So he trained, and he fought, and he accompanied his idiotic brother into every ridiculous skirmish he caused. Every once in a while, if he felt things weren't progressing quickly enough, he caused a little mayhem, himself, just to get Thor's little squad of squabbling dorks to get off their asses and back into action... and to bring Loki along as the voice of reason, of course. It was all taking too long for his liking, years were passing during which he couldn't even imagine the suffering his love was enduring at the hands of his captors, but he was on track.

Until a minor, regularly scheduled scuffle on Jotunheim imploded his reality.

"I-I-I'm the monster parents tell their children of at night?" This... This was why no one loved him? Why Thor looked down on him, why nothing he did could ever make Odin proud, why Heimdall watched him with such suspicion? Did everyone know but him?

He didn't have time for this! The thought snapped him out of his bitter, angry meltdown and he realized that the man he'd looked up to and loved as a father all his life was prone on the steps before him.

"Guards! Guards, come quickly!" Father, don't die! I'm sorry!

He backed down a few steps when the guards came, to let them take the All-Father to the relative safety of his bed. What was he going to do? Odin was unconscious and Thor was banished-

To Midgard.

Of course! Going to visit his exiled brother would give him a pretext to go to Midgard without arousing suspicion. As long as Odin remained unconscious and the Warriors Three focused on the grave injustice of their friend and leader being banished, the only one he really had to worry about was bloody Heimdall.

He glanced back at the casket and sighed. There was too much going on, too much to figure out. Even his thirst for vengeance was beginning to cool. All he wanted in all this confusion and turmoil was his precious Bucky back in his arms. He'd let Bucky know him, more completely and intimately than anyone else in his life. From their first meeting, Loki had hidden nothing from him, and somehow that extraordinary man, who couldn't fathom loving another man that way, had loved him. The briefest of flings, especially to a being who would live for thousands of years, but significant for all that. There was nothing Loki wouldn't do to preserve that love.

But he still had to figure out what the hell was going on with his own life. Good grief. That Jotun couldn't have waited until after Loki saved Bucky to grab his arm and turn his whole world upside down?

Think. Think. Think! Figure this out, you fool!

Odin was incapacitated. Thor was gone. The Jotuns wanted war. Frigga likely wouldn't leave Odin's side, and Thor's absurd friends didn't have the sense to see past his exile. Loki was a Frost Giant, albeit apparently a small, wimpy one.

Bloody hell...

He wanted Bucky. Bucky had a knack for making everything make sense... except for homophobia, but nobody was perfect. Honestly, there was no making sense of that utter nonsense.

Focus, damn it!

To Midgard, then. Perhaps he could wake Bucky up for a moment, as he had last time, and they could talk this problem through. Or perhaps the mindless soldier would find a way to kill him and end his confusion and misery another way.

Oh, don't be dramatic! Get up and do something or he'll die there!

He wasn't entirely sure when he'd sat down, but he didn't bother thinking too deeply on it as he stood and started marching back up the stairs.

I told him not to get killed! Well, I suppose technically he obeyed. He's not dead yet. Damn it, James, why couldn't you just come home with me? Stupid, stubborn, macho, painfully attractive idiot!

Somehow the word 'idiot' jogged his memory, and Loki stopped in his tracks at the landing.

The idiot's bloody hammer!

Of course! Finally, he had the beginnings of a plan! Thor was stripped of his powers and utterly useless – not the biggest change there, really – but Odin had sent the hammer to Midgard with him! Just because Thor couldn't use it didn't mean Loki couldn't. He'd take Mjolnir and use it to wipe HYDRA off the map. It was perfect!

Except he couldn't lift it. Seething, he stared at the thing for a moment, willing it to lift when he pulled. Nothing. It didn't so much as shift. So much for that idea.

Well, he'd might as well go and visit Thor, then. At least taunting him a bit might cheer Loki up. If he had to be miserable and humiliated, at least he could share the pain a little. The Mjolnir plan was rather half-baked, anyway, he had to admit. Perhaps something better would come to him while he stripped his adoptive brother of all hope.

That silly Midgardian saying suddenly made so much sense: Misery loves company.

_____________________________________________________

Next Masterlist

[jjkmagic]

Happy Days - Dramatical Murder Fic

Title: Happy Days

Pairing: Mink/Clear Rating: G

Word Count: 2475 Summary: When the Oval Tower collapsed Clear felt uneasy. He didn’t exactly understand why, and he didn’t expect it would be Mink who stayed behind and helped him figure it out. Clear also didn’t expect that this day would mark the beginning of the happiest time of his life. Tags: Fluff, Family Feels, Mink has a little son and Clear absolutely adores him. A/N: It’s been ages, but I promised one lucky person who supported me by filling out my bachelor thesis survey a little request fic. The moment I first read that request I knew this was going to be a challenge. I have never written a family fic before. I have never written Mink/Clear before! It’s honestly a pairing I never even considered lol I’m sorry, it’s so short despite the eternity it took me to write it! This is for @qinsei! I hope you enjoy, even if it isn’t exactly as you described xD

Happy Days

They had accomplished what they had set out to do.

Everyone was eager to return to their homes in Midorijima, but they couldn’t help one last look upon the remains of the Oval Tower, as if needing to convince themselves of the fact that it was really over, that the people were free of Toue’s reign.

There was no trace of Toue himself, or the people who had worked for him. Even if some had survived the fall, it was unlikely they would ever return.

Satisfied with what they saw Aoba and most of the group left, only Clear’s gaze remained transfixed on the tower’s ruins. There was a… feeling within him that he could not place. He had worked with the others towards a common goal, and yet the view presented to him left him feeling unsatisfied, unsettled even, and he remained frozen to the spot.

Clear thought he was alone until a shadow fell over him as Mink stepped up to stand next to him. In any other situation Clear would use the moment to voice his amazement at how tall the man was, blocking the sun like that, but for some reason his throat constricted and no words were forthcoming.

Silence reigned and Clear expected Mink to leave at any moment, but he didn’t. After an undetermined amount of time Mink spoke up: “You helped free these people.”

There was no hint of emotion in his words that would make it easier for Clear to understand why he chose to say that. Confused he could only look up at the other man instead.

He could see Mink watching him out of the corner of his eyes, but he didn’t turn to look at Clear directly.

There was a pause in which silence settled over them once more. Clear watched the minute changes of Mink’s expression, realizing that the other man was thinking about something, though Clear had no idea what it might be.

After a while Mink straightened, not looking at Clear at all as he voiced his next words, words so sudden and unexpected they froze Clear to his core: “Don’t you think it’s time for you to be free as well?”

The words processed in his mind, but they made no sense to him, or rather there was so much they could possibly mean that Clear had no idea what the most fitting response here was supposed to be.

‘I don’t understand. I am free.’

But the words vanished before they could ever leave his mouth.

He shook his head inwardly. There was no way Mink could know what was going on inside Clear’s mind right now, what unsettled him so that he found himself incapable of leaving the Oval Tower behind him for good. Clear had held steadfast onto his grandfather’s words. No one knew because no one was allowed to know.

Realizing he would get no response Mink continued: “There is no one left to stop you, no one left to judge.”

There was no response in his mind, and yet his mouth opened, unprompted.

“I…” His voice quavered on that single syllable. “I was told I should never…”

“Who’s telling you that now?”

Clear paused, his eyes wide, though his mask hid his surprise from the world.

Mink wasn’t looking at him, wasn’t judging his reaction, his weakness. Instead he continued speaking calmly: “The evil haunting this island has vanished. The people are rejoicing. You should join them.”

“I…” Again, he did not get past that word without his voice abandoning him. “Is that really okay?”

Mink shrugged noncommittally.

“It’s up to you.”

Clear hesitated. Being offered a choice was new to him. He had always been free in a sense, free to go and do as he pleased. And yet, even without the “power” forcing him, he had always chosen to follow instructions rather than to deviate from them. When it came to his grandfather and Aoba he had known that they always meant well, so following them came naturally to him. He liked listening to them, to help them or even to make them happy.

But Mink was right. Clear’s grandfather had fled to escape Toue and passing away he had told Clear to stay hidden because he was different, recognizable.

But that didn’t hold true anymore, did it?

On the other hand it had never felt much like a restriction before, not until this very moment, when he was suddenly offered a choice.

“And if I wanted to…?”

Mink only offered another shrug, not commenting on the way Clear’s voice trembled.

“As I said: no one’s here to judge.”

Clear wavered. Could it really be that easy?

“O-okay…” he managed to say and somehow Mink’s nonchalance about the whole matter actually did make it okay, enough so that Clear slowly reached up to the clasp holding his mask in place.

Mink turned slightly toward him, but that remained the only indication that he was curious. His face remained carefully blank.

Clear’s fingers shook, about to falter in his decision. Clear took one deep breath and pulled the clasp open. He felt the mask come loose and reached up to lower it slowly, its weight multiplying in his hands the more of his face was revealed.

He clutched onto the mask until his fingers hurt, too afraid to open his eyes for what felt like hours but was probably only a few seconds. When he did open them the world suddenly seemed too bright and too much to bear, so he averted his eyes, turning to Mink instead.

Mink looked at him for only a moment with an expression of surprise on his face before quickly looking away, mumbling something incomprehensible. At least it would have been if Clear’s enhanced hearing didn’t allow him to understand every single word as it was muttered in exasperation: “Of course he wears a mask to hide his stupid face…”

Pain registered in Clear’s mind, though he was certain that he had not suffered any physical damage.

“It is… stupid…?”

His grandfather had said that it was different. Was that what he had meant?

Mink visibly tensed at having been heard and sighed exasperatedly, suddenly looking like this was the most unpleasant conversation he had ever been a part of. Doing his hardest to look anywhere but at Clear he added quietly: “Stupidly beautiful.”

Clear looked up startled, not sure if he had heard right. Mink wasn’t looking at him, but the faintest hint of red on his cheeks - possibly invisible to the human eye - told Clear more than thousand words might.

Clear returned to gaze at the ruins, a wide smile spreading on his lips, one he could not have refrained from even if he had wanted, and for the first time it was there for the whole world to see. It was only fitting, he thought, for this was probably the happiest day of his life.

- - -

Happy days continued to grace Clear’s life from that day on.

How else would it be possible that just a short twelve months later he was sitting in a lovely home with a little boy in his lap chattering happily about his daily adventures while Mink was in the kitchen working on dinner.

Naga was the light of his life: a beautiful boy of six years, always curious but well-behaved. The latter was definitely more Mink’s influence than Clear’s who didn’t even need convincing to talk and play all day long. It was so easy when every moment Naga was smiling Clear was hopelessly delighted as well.

Life was beautiful, life was perfect, in Clear’s eyes anyway.

“I saw a puppy on the way home! It was so cute! Hey, can I have a puppy, too, daddy?”

Even though the boy was still excitedly talking to Clear, he was clever enough to direct that question towards the kitchen from where Mink had just emerged.

Mink’s face remained carefully neutral, even though Clear was sure the question came as a surprise. This definitely was the first time Clear heard of the little boy wanting a pet.

“If you prove that you can take care of it, we can talk about it.”

“Really?” Naga’s eyes were as wide as saucers, still Mink remained earnest.

“Now go wash your hands, dinner is ready.”

“Yes, daddy!” Naga said quickly, dashing off Clear’s lap and down the hall, clearly motivated to prove that he could behave himself.

Mink sighed quietly once he was out of sight.

“We can have a puppy?” Clear asked, eyes probably just as wide as the little boy’s.

Mink looked at him, clearly exasperated.

“A pet isn’t a toy, it’s a lesson in taking responsibility,” he explained.

“And they are fluffy!” Clear added happily.

He still clearly remembered just how wonderfully fluffy Ren had been, though he also remembered that one evil dog that kept barking at him in Midorijima. He tried to forget about that in favor of being excited at the prospect of an own little puppy.

Mink sighed.

“Remind me that I will have to take care of it if Naga turns out to be too young for a pet.”

“But you don’t think that,” Clear said.

Mink was never one for empty words. If he said he would consider it then he already had good enough reason to think it would work.

“He’s a good boy, despite your influence.”

Clear’s eyes widened.

“That’s just mean, Mink-san!” he said pouting.

There was the faintest upturn to Mink’s lips, the man’s version of a soft smile.

“You also take good care of him, so I’m willing to overlook that,” he said, and had that been a joke…?

Clear’s surprise quickly melted into a smile of his own. Obviously Mink was in a good mood, and that simple fact was enough to make Clear happy, too.

- - -

Dinner was never a quiet affair in their little family. Naga was well-behaved, but he was also incredibly energetic and loved to talk, often much to Mink’s chagrin.

Once, just once, Mink had confided that he wished he knew how to handle the boy better. He didn’t want to seem cold, least of all to his son, but he was simply a quiet person by nature. Back with his gang “Scratch” his calm, commanding presence had been the only thing keeping everyone in line. Authority was important in a family, too, but so was trust and the ability to talk freely with each other. Mink wanted to provide that, but he wasn’t sure if he could.

Clear on the other hand, listening to Mink’s worries, couldn’t think of anything but Naga’s wide, excited eyes, about how much the boy loved and admired his father. So Clear had only laughed softly, and told him that there was nothing to worry about. Naga understood what his father was like, and that Mink seeming reserved at times didn’t mean that loved his son any less.

“Daddy?” Naga asked.

Mink looked up from his almost empty plate.

Clear and Naga had been keeping the conversation going when Mink had eventually withdrawn from it after a while. It seemed like a miracle that they both still managed to empty their plates before Mink did.

“What is it?”

The little boy’s gaze was fixed on the table, clearly hesitant to voice whatever was on his mind.

“Our teacher said there’s going to be a festival soon… can we go see it?” he asked, looking up with hopeful eyes.

Naga knew exactly that his father wasn’t a fan of any boisterous events that involved lots of people, and was thus visibly hesitant to even ask.

Mink threw a glance at Clear, looking as calm as ever, but Clear had learned to read the other man, and recognized the glance as a request for help.

“I’m sure Clear would love to go with you,” he said.

Naga clearly contemplated those words, shyly looking at the table once more.

“I know that,” he said, “I just… wanted all of us to go, together.”

Clear loved the little boy more than anything, there was no way he would be able to refuse a request like that, and even Mink seemed to deflate at those words, even if he still didn’t like the idea of visiting a festival.

He sighed.

“I’m sure we’ll find a day where we can go together then.”

“Really? Thank you, daddy!”

With that Naga got up and walked around the table to hug his father. Mink smiled, his hand coming to rest on his son’s back. It seemed almost massive compared to the little boy.

Naga pulled away after a moment, grinning broadly.

“I’ll go wash and go to bed now. Don’t stay up too late!” he declared before dashing off.

The boy really was too good for this world, and even Clear had to admit that there was no way that Naga had his manners from him.

“You said I was spoiling him yesterday,” Clear said cheekily, grinning at Mink.

There was the faintest hint of red on Mink’s cheeks that he hid behind his usual serious facade.

“I see no reason to deny him such an earnest request. It’s not like we go out together often,” Mink said, always the voice of reason.

He watched Clear’s continued grin in exasperation before he sighed. Clear looked at him curiously as Mink got up to approach Clear’s side of table.

Clear blinked at him as Mink leaned down, his tall form all but looming over him, and pressed a quick little kiss to his lips. Clear’s eyes widened, casual affection was such a rare thing coming from his partner, but when he finally found his voice again, Mink had already returned to his seat.

Mink smirked at him.

“You would better hurry. Don’t tell me you’ll let him go to bed without a lullaby.”

Clear just stared at him. Of course he wanted to put his little boy to bed, but he also wanted to figure out the reason for Mink’s rare, affectionate mood, if there even was one, but Naga-

Clear pushed back his chair and got up.

“I’ll be right back. Wait for me, Mink-san,” he said, hoping he would get the chance to do both as he hurried down the hall to the boy’s room.

As he did so he heard Mink chuckling, another, oh so rare thing, and Clear couldn’t help smiling.

In the end it probably didn’t matter. Clear was in no rush.

Mink and Naga would still be here tomorrow, and the day after, and hopefully far into the future.

With them at his side many more happy days were waiting for Clear. That alone brought a bright smile to his face as he sat down to sing for his little boy: a lullaby about a tower and how its fall had brightened the world. - - - - - - - - - - - The request actually had them visiting the festival as well but… that would have turned into a massive fic xD It’s already much longer than expected, oops. If you enjoyed it regardless, reblog and/or leave a like^^ I’ll also “kind of” open commissions soon, so if you want a fic like this and challenge me with pairings I have never written before (xD) follow or message me for updates on that^^