#even if i weren't shipping anyone this would be terrible

[hislittleraincloud]

I hate this shit already.

Glancing at my unwanted purchase, I decided I would have a quick looksee how Donovan is treated.

(I fucking despise present tense writing to begin with, but I'll save that rant for a real review.)

This sucks:

The deletion of his "Did you help her?" line does help paint Donovan as less sexist, which is bizarre. We're completely lacking her reaction there, but worse:

What was even the purpose of the "Did she say Addams?" To whom is he asking the q? Why was that even necessary?

And what the Hell, what's with the deletion of the almost imperceptible nod she gave after he asked if Gomez was her father. Wednesday was as respectable as she could be to anyone towards the Sheriff in this scene. (Very demure, LOL)

And that was no glare.

I hate this already...I'm getting flashbacks to that awful X-Files novelization I read decades ago. There were inaccurate portrayals in that one, too.

Fine. I'll fucking read it. I don't want to but since I'm an asshole and bought it by accident (I truly thought I'd hit just a preview...??? I went to click the preview I d/led and the whole book is there 🤦🏽‍♂️), I guess I can blow my afternoon on it.

ETA: I don't think I've cleared page 3 and I'm already pissed the fuck off about this characterization and the 🗑️ writing.

"Lurch," I say in an even tone, addressing the family's monstrous butler in the driver's seat.

"The family's monstrous butler"? The fuck is that? Since when has Wednesday had something against LURCH? They're fucking buddies. They danced together. Her famous dance, the one Ortega integrated into the Netflix Wednesday Dance, was with him. This word choice reduces him to an object removed from the family (and he is family) and paints Wednesday's inner judgements as normies would, rather than from her outcast perspective. Why the everloving Hell would this inner monologue refer to him as monstrous? It was also jarring to read, as if the voice had suddenly changed from hers to another's.

The Prologue also read like someone who was a normie looking in, rather than an outcast suffering from sudden "random" psychic visions. But I'll just STFU and trudge through the rest.

[ozai-the-bonsai]

Like Lovers Do

| Part 1 | Part 2 |

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x fem!reader

Summary: You and Daemon would dream about marrying each other before both of you became victims of political marriages, very much against your wills: he was sent to the Vale and you to the Riverlands. However, when your lord husband passes away, you return to King’s Landing, only to find out that your childhood sweetheart is now wearing a crown of his own.

A/N: I am finally back for the Daemon x reader fics, you lovely people! I hope you still remember me after that loooooooooong gap... Anyways, I once again wrote too much and couldn't even get to the point I was heading - I intended this story to be a one-shot but it seems I will be writing another chapter for the spicy stuff ;) I hope you enjoy it! (I am also open to any Daemon requests you might have for me!)

Warnings: I am not a native English speaker, strong language

Taglist: @throughgoeshamilton @mirandastuckinthe80s @xicesam @mariamyousef702 @eddiemadmunson @dont-try-pesticide @sweetybuzz25 @hc-geralt-23 @schniiipsel @ttae-yong @syrma-sensei @asiludida164 @kaitieskidmore1 @irmavanity-blog @pax-2735 @trickrtreatart @shanzeyxsyed @random-human02 @scarwicht @xcallmetaniax @instabull @niiight-dreamerrrr @my-dark-prince @stargaryenx @abaker74 @babywolff @sonnensplitter @bi-narystars @softtina

You had almost forgotten the way his voice sounded.

Fourteen long years had it been, the last time you were given the privilege to let your eyes wander on his handsome face as long as they desired.

You had expected time to have changed you in all the possible ways anyone could ever imagine, the years you had spent at the Riverlands being no different than a bird in a cage did harden you to your very core; however, the moment his sweet voice reached your ears again, you felt yourself melting just as you did when you were six-and-ten.

For the first time in fourteen years; for the first time after you had left King's Landing, you were feeling the warmth in your heart again, waking up from its deep slumber, melting the frost that used to be your heart.

At first, you hadn't even believed it when you heard the whispers roaming the castle about the return of the Rogue Prince.

"Prince Daemon is back," the whispers had said, "and he is wearing a crown."

King of the Narrow Sea? You had thought to yourself, following the crowds into the Throne Room. Is he going to challenge his brother now? Have the years turned him completely mad?

And now, you were watching him, King of the Narrow Sea, give up his crown to King Viserys.

He really is back.

After the ceremony in the Throne Room was over, the Royals and the Small Council moved to the Godswood to celebrate the Prince's victory over the Triarchy. You weren't quite sure whether it was expected of you to join them; however, upon seeing the way your father looked at you, you decided to follow them. Your heart was racing as if it was trying to break free from your chest.

Your father's position in King Jaehaerys’ and after him King Viserys’ Small Council had allowed you an easy, enjoyable life within the walls of the Red Keep, allowing you to share the early years of your youth with Prince Daemon, growing up alongside him.

Until he decided it was time for you to marry a rich lord and be shipped to the Riverlands, of course. You had known long before your father made his decision that you would, sooner or later, have to marry someone - preferably some lord from one of the Great Houses.

However, you had expected your father to come to you with this delicate matter first, instead of shaking hands with the lords as if he was doing some kind of trade.

"I do not care about some stupid lord in the Riverlands," you had told your father upon hearing the terrible news about your future. "I am going to marry Prince Daemon, Father. How can you even begin to compare him with any other man in the Seven Kingdoms?"

"Prince Daemon is going to the Vale," your father had responded in a cold voice. It made you realize he had wished for you to become the Prince's wife perhaps even more than you yourself had. "It has been decided that he is to take Lady Rhea Royce as his wife." Upon seeing the tears beginning to form in your eyes, your father had held your hands. "I am sorry, my sweet girl, but there is no other way."

Even though you had known all these years, deep down, that your father's only wish was for you to have an easy, wealthy life (and at the meanwhile keeping his good connections, and establishing relations with the strong houses), the anger you had been feeling never really faded away.

Yes, you had led a wealthy life for the last fourteen years; however, being the second wife of a (compared to your six-and-ten self) fairly old lord had taken all the happiness you had ever known from you. It was almost as if you had forgotten how to enjoy life...

After arriving at the Godswood - since the Red Keep was enormous, it always took ages to get from one place to another - you too poured yourself a glass of red wine as you stood beside your father. King Viserys and some other members of the Small Council were talking with Prince Daemon, mostly about the war against the Triarchy.

Somehow, it seemed like Daemon didn't even notice you were there, maybe he didn't really recognise you after all those years - you couldn't say.

Until King Viserys saw you standing next to your father, the Master of Coins.

The King's face lightened with a bright smile as he turned his eyes to his younger brother, placing his left hand on Daemon's shoulder. "Brother, you surely remember Lord Beesbury's lovely daughter," the King spoke with a delightful tone. "She has, too, recently returned to King's Landing."

The world froze around the two of you when Daemon's purple eyes met yours. Every other person standing there with you faded away, and all the other sounds melted into silence until it was just you and him, the same memory playing in front of your eyes.

"I am going to make you my Queen one day," Daemon whispered in your ear. "I promise you."

You were out at the Godswood, sitting under the moonlight - both of you had to be around sixteen, it was shortly before the calamity that was your marriage.

You raised an eyebrow in his direction. "So you plan on winning me and the Iron Throne?" You asked him, only to earn a cocky smirk.

"You would be surprised to see what I am capable of, my Lady."

I have seen what you are capable of, my Prince, you thought as you came back to reality. You were breathing heavily. Capable of winning a war without the support of the Crown, earning your very own crown - but you still gave it up to your brother.

To prevent the awkward silence from getting any longer, Daemon quickly wore his famous smirk as he nodded at the King. "Of course, how could I not," he spoke with a charming aura surrounding him. Taking a step towards you, the Prince held your right hand gently and brought it to his lips. "It has been many years, my Lady." The Prince told you. "Though, it is somewhat unfair that the years have not touched your beauty, not in the slightest."

The poker face, which only showed a humble smile fitting of a lady of your position, would never give away that you were, in fact, dying inside. Feeling his lips and his touch for the very first time in fourteen years had hit you like a wall of bricks.

"You flatter me, my Prince," you spoke with your best I-am-a-noble-lady tone. "Congratulations on your victory."

Before continuing the conversation with his brother and the other Lords, Daemon gave you a small nod - only you realised that he had allowed his eyes to linger on your face longer than they needed to.

[Time Skip}

"I wasn't expecting to see you here again, after all those years."

Hearing his velvet voice, you raised your head to look at Daemon, who was standing to your right. Fixing your silver dress and crossing one leg over the other, you waited for him to continue speaking.

"Why aren't you at the Rivenlands?"

You raised an eyebrow at the Prince as you responded while mimicking the same cocky tone he always used. "Why haven't you been at the Vale all those years?"

The edge of Daemon's lips curled upwards as he shook his head, he was wearing a red, long-armed tunic under his long, black cloak - proudly carrying the colours of his House. "Your attitude hasn't changed even in the slightest, love."

You rolled your eyes at him, keeping your attitude, not letting it falter under the heavy weight of the love your heart still carried for him. Of course, it would have been a lot easier to give into your heart's whispers and welcome him with arms wide open; however, you had grown overmuch furious with him over the years.

First and foremost, he had broken off every damn contact with you at an instant as soon as you had left King's Landing. You haven't heard from Daemon for fourteen years. News and gossip about his doings had reached your ears, of course, but not from Daemon himself.

And second, it had hurt you too fucking much when you saw he had done nothing to fight for your love. As the Prince, he could have had more of a say in the matter than you, but all he had done was tell you goodbye and disappear into the night. That was the last you had seen of him, fourteen years ago.

At first, you had thought that perhaps, Daemon had found the idea of marrying Lady Rhea Royce more appealing than marrying you. Until the news had reached the Riverlands about the Rogue Prince's failed marriage - not long after, he had returned to King's Landing, never to visit the Vale ever again.

Rhea Royce had never been what Daemon desired, and apparently, you too - else, he would have at least tried to find a way to arrange something, anything.

Placing your hands on your lap, you asked. "Can I be of further assistance to you, my Prince?"

"You can start by providing me with an answer, my Lady," Daemon said, arching an eyebrow in your direction. "Why did you return to King's Landing? Has your lord husband got a place in the Small Council now?"

"He has passed away," you spoke with a low voice while playing with your fingers. "A few months ago."

The Prince licked his lower lip. "I would wish to offer you my condolences, love," he spoke, "but I have never liked the sight of that cunt."

Your eyes widened with shock upon hearing his words, you hissed between your teeth. "Seven hells, Daemon!" The Prince shrugged in a careless manner. "Show at least some respect to the dead!"

"Will you be staying here?" he asked, earning a nod from you. "Why not stay at the Riverlands?"

This time, you turned your eyes away - his intense gaze was making you feel dizzy. "There is nothing for me there, at the Riverlands. My late husband's eldest nephew holds the Lord title now." Taking a deep breath, you leaned forward to pour yourself some wine. "You see, we didn't have any children to inherit my late husband's position, hence there was no more need for me."

Upon feeling Daemon's hand closing on top of yours, you quickly raised your head to look at him. Gently, the Prince took the carafe from your hands to pour you a glass of wine. With slow movements, he handed you the glass.

"I thought the whole idea behind you marrying that old man was to provide him with heirs," Daemon spoke, his purple eyes lighting with curiosity. He didn't even explicitly ask about the reason behind the failure but you could easily read it from the way he looked.

"We did try, for years, but..." Taking a moment, you took a big sip from your wine. "He could have tried with a dozen other women for another ten years and it still wouldn't have changed anything."

Daemon pursed his lips upon understanding the meaning behind your words. "I see, this explains why he didn't have any heirs from his first marriage, too." You nodded. "Good riddance, should I say now? At least you are free from that burden of yours."

"As if you cared about me or my burden," you snorted. Upon seeing the confused look inside his eyes, you first drank your half-empty glass - all at once - and then stood up. Raising your head, you looked Daemon in the eye, your faces standing dangerously close to each other. "It has been fourteen fucking years, Daemon," you spoke with a low voice but still, your fury could be heard in every word. "And not one fucking raven from you. You just walked away from my life, as if I meant nothing to you!"

Towards the end, your tone tended to become higher, thus you took a deep breath to keep yourself under control. From the corner of your eye, you could see Queen Alicent and your father taking a curious look in your direction.

With his left hand, Daemon held you firmly on your right wrist as he whispered, looking down at you. "You meant everything to me," he put emphasis on each word. "Don't you dare act as if you don't know it."

Your chest brushed against his with every breath, you could feel the warmth radiating off his body. At that very moment, the only thing you wanted was for Daemon to push you against the stone wall behind you and kiss you until you couldn't remember your own name anymore.

With slow movements, Daemon leaned into your ear, his warm breath brushing against your neck. You didn't even realise you were pressing your lips against each other - your breaths were heavy, your head felt dizzy and you slowly got drunk with his smell surrounding you.

"Do you have any idea," the Prince whispered in your ear, his voice full of sex appeal. You could melt right then and there, inside his arms. "How many nights I have spent, thinking about you?"

Back then, when you were both young and in love, Daemon had never touched you other than sharing small kisses (and rarely not-so-small kisses) for you wanted to wait until marriage.

In retrospect, you believed your younger self to have been too naive and, well, young - after seeing one could in fact do whatever they desired as long as it was discrete enough.

Now, all the lust and desire you both had been bottling up for years came to the surface.

Holding onto the last bits of your will, you took a step back, putting some visible distance between Daemon and yourself - so that you could think clearly once more.

"Then why," you asked, your voice sounding weaker than you wanted it to. "Why did you disappear from my life?"

The Prince cast a quick look at the curious people around you - some of the council members seemed kind of interested in your conversation with Daemon since they were sending curious looks in your direction every other second.

Muttering something under his breath - he was probably cursing at the nosiness of the people - Daemon quickly put on one of his most charming smiles. "Perhaps the lady would like to grant me the honour of dining with her this evening," he spoke with his velvet-like voice as he took your hand and brought it to his soft lips. The mild wind was causing his silver hair to sway ever so gently. "Where we can discuss further, as long as she likes."

Your heart skipped a beat.

Of course, you knew what his true intention was. This invitation was more than just a dinner where you could both scream at each other about the fourteen years you have lost - it was also to make up for all that time.

Your brain was shouting at you, telling you that you were making a big mistake - the Prince was still married, even though his marriage had been a bigger failure than yours - but your desires were stronger.

"I would love to, my Prince." The words left your lips before you could even think.

Daemon winked at you before leaving Godswood. "I will be waiting for you in my chambers, love."

[theoi-crow]

The humans in Greek Mythology are the mega rich and powerful:

In my college classes people are often shocked when I tell them my favorite part of Greek mythology is the gods themselves and I'm not a big fan of the humans.

99% of my classmates prefer the humans in mythos, especially the ones that stick it to the gods like Sisyphus and feel bad for humans like Kassandra and Helen who have been wronged by the gods because "they're just like us." My classmates and teachers hate the gods and don't understand why anyone in modern times would want to worship such violent and selfish beings whenever I point out there are still people who worship them. They hold onto the idea that people in mythology embody the human experience of being oppressed by terrible gods and fate and we should feel bad for them because "they're human just like us" but they forget that the people in Greek Mythology are NOT just like us. They are more relatable to medieval royalty, colonizers and ultra rich politicians who make laws and decisions on wars and the fates of others, especially the poor and the very vulnerable.

Every hero or important human in Greek Mythology is either some form of royalty or mega rich politician/priest-priestess (of course this is with the exception of people who are explicitly stated to be poor like the old married couple in the myth where Zeus and Hermes pretend to be panhandlers). All of them have an ancient Greek lifestyle more relatable to Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and especially to British royalty during the British empire, than the average person.

All of them.

Odysseus, Patroclus, Theseus, Helen of Troy, Kassandra, Diomedes, Agamemnon, Perseus, Hercules, Aeneas, Paris, Any human who has a divine parent or is related to one, etc. Although sometimes the story omits it, it is heavily implied that these are people who own hundreds or even thousands of slaves, very poor farmers and the tiny barely there working class as royal subjects.

They are the ones who make laws and whose decisions massively affect the fates of so many people. So no, they can't just be forgiven for some little whim, because that little whim affects the literal lives of everyone under their rule. By being spoiled they've just risked the lives of thousands of people and possibly even gotten them killed like when Odysseus' audacity got every single slave and soldier in his ships killed or when Patroclus as a kid got upset and killed another kid for beating him at a game. (A normal person wouldn't kill another person just for winning a game but royalty and those who think they're above the law do it all the time, plus the class status of the child wasn't mentioned but the way he didn't think he'd get in trouble implies the kid was of lower class, possibly the child of a slave or a foreign merchant.)

The gods get a bad reputation for punishing the humans in mythology but, if not them, who else is going to keep them accountable when they are the law?

And whose to say the humans beneath them weren't praying to the gods in order to keep their masters in check?

Apollo is the god in charge of freeing slaves, Zeus is the god of refugees, immigrants and homeless people, Ares is the protector of women, Artemis protects children, Aphrodite is the goddess of the LGBT community, Hephaestus takes care of the disabled, etc. It wouldn't be surprising if the gods are punishing the ultra rich and powerful in these myths because the humans under their rulership prayed and sent them as they did historically.

Every time someone asks me if I feel bad for a human character in a myth, I think about the many lives affected by the decision that one human character made and if I'm being completely honest, I too would pray to the gods and ask them to please punish them so they can make more careful decisions in the future because:

They are not just like us.

We are the farmers, a lot of our ancestors were slaves, we are the vulnerable being eaten by capitalism and destroyed by the violence colonialism created. We are the poor subjects that can only pray and hope the gods will come and correct whatever selfish behavior the royal house and mega rich politicians are doing above us.

And that's why I pray to the gods, because in modern times I'm dealing with modern Agamemnons who would kill whatever family members they have to in order to reach their end goal, I'm dealing with everyday modern Achilles who would rather see their own side die because they couldn't keep their favorite toy and would gladly watch their subjects die if it means they eventually get their way. The ones that let capitalism eat their country and it's citizens alive so long as it makes them more money. These are our modern "demigods," politicians who swear they are so close to God that they know what he wants and so they pass laws that benefit only them and claim these laws are ordained by God due to their close connection just like how Achilles can speak to the gods because of his demigod status via his mother.

Look at the news, these are humans that would be mythical characters getting punished by Greek gods which is why anything Greco-Roman is jealousy guarded by the rich and powerful and is inaccessible to modern worshippers because Ivy League schools like Harvard and Cambridge make sure to keep it that way. That's what we're dealing with. These are the humans these mythical beings would be because:

In our modern times the humans in mythos would be the politicians and mega rich that are currently ruining our society and trying to turn it into a world where only the rich can manipulate wars and laws, just like they do in mythology.

Fuck them.

I literally have so much more to add about my disdain for them and I didn't even touch on the obvious ancient Greek propaganda.

[deathdetermineslife]

I genuinely cannot stand you and your account. Every time I make a new account, you're always the in selfship tags filling it up with your terrible art and shitty posts. You are a waste of space and no one in this community likes you. Your f/o (who isnt YOUR f/o by the way, stop calling him that) doesn't love you, he definitely thinks you're annoying and wouldn't love you in any universe. I want you to know that I have an entire group of selfshippers I'm friends with that wish you'd do the world a favor and kill yourself, just so you know. It doesn't matter if you block me, by the way, because I can and will make new accounts to try to make you feel like shit. I pray to God every day you get in a terrible accident and die a slow and painful death. You mischaracterize "your" f/o (just a reminder, he doesn't love you and wishes you were dead!), you make the entire selfshipping community look stupid, and you're a sharer, too, which means you don't actually love any of your f/os anyways. You should get off of Tumblr. I'm serious, several of my friends are skilled hackers and will dox you. You don't deserve any of the merchandise you own, you don't deserve to be happy, really. And don't even try to tell me that since I'm a proshipper this goes against my "antiharassment values" or whatever I'm sure you'll try to say, every single proshipper I've spoken to thinks you're a hypocritical, disgusting, terrible individual that doesn't deserve the likes and attention you get. I seriously cannot believe anyone will a brain follows you. They probably do because antis don't have brains. They're retards that like throwing pedophile accusations at anyone that breathes. You all are some of the most idiotic and stupid people I've ever seen in my entire life. I cannot stand you. No one likes you, any mutual you think you have is secretly hoping you die, and trust me, a few people I know who follow you or at the very least have reblogged your things are secret proshippers! Isn't that terrible? I'm sure you think so. Because you think we're so bad, don't you? You think that all of us are rapists and evil people that deserve the death penalty. Every time someone reblogs the art you make and says "otp" and "I ship it", just know they're lying to you, they don't believe that, in fact, everyone's out to get you and no one likes you. And that server you own? Just know no one in there likes you. All of the friends you probably think you have? They don't like being around you. He doesn't love you, no one loves you, and if you have more f/os, they don't like you either. Your familial f/os want to disown you, your platonic f/os wish you weren't friends with them, and every single romantic f/o you THINK YOU HAVE does not LOVE YOU they DON'T LOVE YOU and they NEVER WILL. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU. Every person I have talked to you about agrees they wish you didn't exist they wish you never made an account they wish you never started posting to selfship Tumblr. You are lucky that your main blog isn't linked here because if it was, I would be sending asks there too so you'd have to delete your main blog too, and maybe then you wouldn't come back to Tumblr. The entire selfship community hates you and your lazy posts that a five-year-old could write up. In fact, just so you know, I regularly steal your posts and post them to the proselfship tag and they get more attention than your blog. Antis are the minority in fandom, no one likes antis. Not a single person likes them, you're all braindead children who have no morals or understanding of the world. This website would be better without you on it. I know you'll post this, and I know that there's probably going to be people in the replies telling you that they love you so much and that you're a good person and that "your" f/o loves you but he doesn't love you and he never will love you and you're absolutely fucking delusional if you think so. I fucking hate you. I'll continue to ban evade until I can push you off of this website. You can't get away from me and I will dox you.

uh oh someone let grandpa out of the nursing home again. also you sound like an evil supervillain. you expect me to take this seriously? this CANNOT be serious I'm giggling so fucking hard

anyways, heres all the art i have of me and korekiyo!

also bad news buddy, i dont have any familial or platonic f/os. womp womp. go back to algebra class, lil bro.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Some even even more little descendants incorrect quotes with mostly Glassheart/CharmingHeart

(and other ships)

Chad: Adulting is hard.

Chad: How do I quit?

Chloe: Time travel.

Red: Die.

(sheesh. Also CHAD! HIII)

---

Chad: So you’re dating Chloe?

Red: What? No! I’m just buying them an accessory since they have terrible fashion sense.

Chad: That’s literally a wedding ring.

(To be fair. Maybe they don't have wedding rings in wonderland, and Red is genuinely just buying her accessories. But not because Chloe doesn't have style. She just wants to give Chloe stuff.)

---

Cinderella: Red, when’s your birthday?

Red: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Chloe: …So we know when to wish you a happy birthday.

+

Chloe: You have some serious intimacy issues

(canon)

---

Chloe: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

Chad, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.

(he would never admit he's wrong. He'd just word his way around it)

---

Chloe: How stupid do you think I am?!

Dizzy: You really want an honest answer to that?

(Chloe is oblivious to her attraction to Red. Their fighting is actually flirting)

---

Chad: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.

Chloe: ...We're on the ground floor.

Chad: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

(Go off drama king ✨)

---

Chad: Ow!

Dizzy: What’s wrong?

Chad: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.

Dizzy: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

(canon. Also oof)

---

Computer: Please enter a password.

Chad: *types in Chloe*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Chad: How fucking DARE YOU-

(Slay big brother. He knows what's up)

---

Audrey: Hey!

Chad: What do you want?

Audrey: Remember what we were talking about yesterday?

Chad: Nope.

(Yes king. Stand your ground. keep away from her)

---

Audrey: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

Chad: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

Audrey: They're not.

Chad: Haha, very funny.

Audrey: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

Chad: No... what happened?

Audrey: ...Why would you fall for this again-

(I think that's what they were talking about. And he's mad)

---

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Audrey: Would never stab anyone.

Chloe: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Dizzy: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Celia: Would stab without warning.

Red: Would stab as a warning.

+

Chad: It depends, I guess

(the charming siblings +cousin and their girlfriends)

---

Chloe, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—

Red: A family.

Audrey: A better love life.

Celia: Mental stability.

Dizzy: Money

Chad: *clueless* Bagels?

(... yeah-)

---

Chloe: Go to hell!

Red: Where do you think I come from?

(Wonderland basically is Hell with The Queen of Hearts)

---

Dizzy: You got a date yet Celia?

Celia: No...

Dizzy: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

(Slay ✨🙏. Which I had that confidence)

---

Dizzy: Hey Chloe, wanna third wheel on my date with Celia tomorrow?

Chloe: Sure.

Dizzy: Red! Wanna third wheel on my date with Celia tomorrow?

Red: ..sure, I gues-

Dizzy: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Red & Chloe: ...

Chloe: Dizzy...

(You'll thank her later, Chloe.)

---

Dizzy: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator.

Celia: Yup.

Red: Maybe the generator is watching us.

Chloe: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added?

Dizzy: ...

Dizzy: Wait—

(Oh no. They found out! Got to run!)

---

Hope you liked it!

I ship Chad and Audrey as Exes

Also I want Chad and Chloe interactions in the next movie. Would love it if Dizzy was also there.

Anyway

Byeeee

[pomefioredove]

um um. the nbc boys with a reader thats smart and learns easily but has trouble keeping up with the school system(? for lack of better words). they get distracted and bored easily, forget about homework, doodle on their papers and stare out the window, etc. they get great test scores and do exceptionally well when they are interested in what they’re learning, but otherwise get burned out really quick. i don’t know much about your nbc but it seems like the system is pretty fast paced and doesn’t really leave room for mistakes! 🫶🫶 i love your designs for nbc so far. can already tell the readers gonna have a blast (and a migraine)

my first ever noble bell oc request... rubs my hands together evilly

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ no room for mistakes (noble bell college)

inspired by my AU

type of post: headcanons characters: rollo, original characters; pierrot, bou, phoenix, clodio additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

Rollo Flamme will arrange a precise time to study with you every day, whether you ask him or not. it's within his best interest that you succeed at Noble Bell (heavens forbid you're shipped off to a lesser, simpler arcane academy like that terrible Night Raven College), and so there will be no room for mistakes. this isn't something you should take for granted, either; Rollo is a very busy man, and to have an hour of his time for him to tutor you is a privilege. at least, that's what everyone else will tell you

to Rollo, this is nothing. he would make his whole weekend for you, if you asked. perhaps his whole life

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Pierrot Gregoire is probably the last person you should be going to for help. yes, he's exceptionally intelligent in the ways of history and literature, and yes, he could lecture you for hours longer than your actual professor does, but I doubt you would actually get anything but a headache out of it. he's a poet, not a tutor, and he has a tendency to talk himself in circles, go on tangents, anecdote about his personal life... yeah. it would take a special sort of mind to keep up with him, otherwise, you're probably better off trying to make sense of his unorganized class notes... which are just as full of doodles and daydreams as yours

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Bou de Neige is known for making harsh judgments about his peers... which are often accurate. and so he can tell, by the way you talk and articulate and express, that you're not a blithering idiot. you only lack the discipline that the typical Noble Bell College student has. and if it weren't for Rollo's faith in you, and his own damned pity, Bou would have been happy to let you fail...

...but he doesn't. he sits next to you in classes and pinches your arm when you're dozing off, or not paying attention to something important. he leers over you and corrects the mistakes on your homework before you turn it in. he begins carrying clean paper for you to doodle on, and insists it's nothing (it's so over for him)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Phoenix Bussiere is not what I would call a trustworthy tutor. he's not even a trustworthy student. oh, but don't think he wouldn't love to waste a few hours every week "helping you study" while he vandalizes 500 year old wood desks and falls asleep in the library. he's way too eager to volunteer. and how can you say no? his attention is highly valuable; the jealous glares of other students make that obvious. and perhaps you wouldn't have minded working alone, without anyone breathing down your neck... except he doesn't let you. he couldn't care less about the homework, but he'll ask you a thousand questions about yourself

...you can never quite tell if he actually cares, or if he's just passing the time

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

if you think Clodio LeFou would be the worst of the group, you'd be very wrong. is it chaotic? yes. but he'll teach you Latin while hanging upside down (and he's really quite good at it). he's managed to get by at Noble Bell without raising any eyebrows, after all, and his grades certainly reflect that. he'll act out your history lessons and critique your writing assignments like a professional. he'll make a puppet just to teach you math. it's unconventional, especially for Noble Bell, but it's much better than the dry lectures from your professors. you'll take what you can get

[milliesfishes]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡Star Girl⋆౨ৎ˚⟡

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖masterlist⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ [fem reader] contains: attempted kidnapping pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: billy meets a star girl author’s note: thank you my darling @phantomamor for talking ab this with me and helping me flesh out this world and the characters! MWAH I'm so excited for you all to read this <3 Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

The city was buzzing, breathing life into what had formerly been a word on a map to Billy. Beings of every species imaginable were conversing, haggling over prices and gossiping amongst themselves. It was impossible to stand still without touching anyone.

Billy's pockets were newly lined with the reward of his latest bounty, not as much as he would have liked for his efforts, but something, nonetheless. When he was newer to this line of work, maybe it would have put a spring in his step. Maybe he'd have even whistled, allowing himself a look at the shiny blasters arranged at the nearby table, maybe even considering buying one.

But today his spirits were lowered, melancholy even. His boots trudged along the dusty footprints of those who'd walked before him, hands shoved in his pockets. He ignored the call of surrounding merchants, letting their voices blend into the hum.

It was the same thing over and over again. He'd find some treasure long prized by a pawn dealer, risk his neck to locate it, and accept a measly price in return. Later today he'd fork over a portion to Jesse, the price for using the gang's name to secure better offers. And then the cycle would repeat.

It was a baseless existence. Flying all over the galaxy, getting his hands on things others deemed precious. It was funny- it all looked so important on the pages of a book, but not once when he held it in person did it feel that way. As far as he was concerned, it was terribly unimportant, faint relics destined for a life on the shelf. He almost felt bad removing them from their natural states. Every gem, every weapon...it felt like robbing a grave.

Clumping down the road until he emerged from the mouth of the crowd, Billy stopped for a moment, leaning against the brick of a building close at hand. On a normal night he'd go to the bar, but right now it seemed unappealing. The last thing he needed was a drink. He supposed he could return to his ship and retire early for the night. Goodness knew he didn't get enough sleep as it was.

Standing up straight, Billy was about to make his way back in the direction of his ship when a peculiar sound caught his ear.

"Excuse me sir...I need to get past..."

"Pretty little thing. C'mon sweetheart..."

Immediately Billy turned sharply, searching for the source. He took a step forward, ducking his head around the corner into an alleyway. The sight before him nearly made his blood boil.

A man, clearly heavily intoxicated, grasping the arm of a young woman. Billy couldn't tell what species she was from first glace, but she looked remarkably human from here. In the soft glow of the sunset, he could see the shine of her hair. There was a glow that seemed to brighten her from the inside out, as if her heart was made of light. Her eyes were wide, fear pooling in the centers.

You stared up at your captor, struggling slightly. "Please. Just let me go."

"Ain't lettin' one of your kind slip past," the man spat. Billy winced- he could practically feel his hot, liquor tainted breath from here. "Damn star people."

It hit Billy like a shot to the stomach, his body stiffening as he realized it. Your glow. You weren't human at all.

Star people were rare to see, especially in a place as godless as this. Said to have been born from the heavens themselves, star people were a legend lilted from the lips of bounty hunters far and wide across the galaxy. The blood coursing through their veins wasn't crimson, but golden, and it ran for a price that was enough to set a man up for life. The species made themselves scarce due to this fact.

When Billy was learning the art of the hunt, he'd accompanied a man seasoned on the market, seeking a rare plant with silver berries going for a decent price. It had confused him when they hunted down a man with a golden luster and tied him down instead of scouring the nearby forest. He assumed they were going to question him about the location of the plant, let him go when he'd given up such trusted information.

But instead, his companion drew a knife, turning to Billy with a hungry look in his eyes. "Watch 'n learn Kid. Always seize the opportunity for a better bounty."

Much to Billy's horror, the knife came down on the golden man's skin, drawing forth a spurt of shining liquid. He was paralyzed watching him bleed out, his inside life force collected by someone so overtaken by greed that he failed to realize the awful thing he was doing.

The memory of the star person's face as he died had haunted Billy ever since he witnessed it. It was the reason he'd never collected a living bounty since. And it was the reason his feet were moving forward now, straight into the alleyway. His hands tore the man away from you, shoving him aside. His body hit the ground with a heavy thump, buying you some time. Billy extended a hand to you. "Come with me. Before he gets up."

You shrank back a bit, the sight of another man so close likely terrifying. Billy winced at the swiftness of his actions, but he emphasized his hand. "It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you."

In the dim light, Billy could see the golden sheen filling your body with light, the freckles dotting your arms like a sun had kissed them. There were strands of gold woven into your hair, making you appear nearly unreal. And suddenly the notion of you being descended from the stars didn't seem so impossible.

Slowly, you set your fingers in the palm of his hand, your soft touch igniting something in him, a conflagration that reached from his toes to his hairline. When he looked into your eyes, he could have sworn they were glowing.

Carefully, he led you out of the alleyway, back into the streets, which were emptying with each strain of darkness that settled in. Your breathing was slowing down as you followed him, shoes barely making a sound on the cobblestone ground.

There was a loud clatter behind you that sounded suspiciously like a blaster falling from a holster, and Billy squeezed your hand without thinking. "Quick-run!"

Almost akin to a doe, you started sprinting with him, surroundings becoming a blur. Your skirt trailed behind you, the pale color of it making it look like you were being followed by mist. It and your top were of light iridescence, shimmering as you hurried along beside him. It was mesmerizing how gracefully you ran, and it made him feel a hundred pounds heavier as his boots clomped alongside your slippers.

There were string lights swooping over the gap in the streets, twinkling like your eyes. You both came to an abrupt stop once you turned a corner, panting for breath. Your hand was still engulfed in his, and he didn't complain when you kept hold.

Turning his face to you, Billy was expecting distress, tears even. But your expression was elated. Shoulders rising up and down, your eyes caught on his, the sight of your smile making him feel as though he was watching the sunrise. "Do you think he was even chasing us?" A breathy giggle trailed after your words like fairy dust.

Billy couldn't help his own chuckle bubbling from his lips. "Better safe than sorry."

Putting your free hand to your heart, you took in a deep breath, watching him warmly. "Thank you for rescuing me. He's been following me all night and I made a mistake in where I went to try and lose him."

"My pleasure." Billy tipped his hat. It was a product of his upbringing more than anything, but he imagined even the worst of scoundrels would find themselves gentlemen in your presence.

He was endeared when you lifted the sides of your skirt, sweeping a foot delicately behind your ankle and bowing your head. "Twas good of you anyways, sir."

"Billy." He was grinning.

"Billy." You said it so lightly, so curiously, and he wanted to exile his name from everyone else's mouth. In sweet tones, you told him your name too. Your identifying word could have been anything and he would have found it beautiful simply because it was attached to you.

Taking in a breath as fine as spun silk, you said, "I truly do appreciate what you did. Not everyone would have." The luscious curtain of your hair fell over your shoulder as you leaned in, and the ambrosial scent of you filled his nose. Every detail of you was coming to light, enhancing you when he thought he'd already viewed perfection. Billy was no purveyor of the arts, but you were a masterpiece.

You were close enough that he could see every freckle that dotted the smooth plane of your face, and their gold color. The beads of your top kissed your arms like droplets of water. Even as the night settled upon the world, your skin glimmered, every shining strand of hair winking at him like a call to reach out and touch. He was sure that you would melt under his roughened fingers if he did.

Remembering himself, he cleared his throat, nodding once. "Maybe not everyone knows what's right."

Something changed in your eyes, and he saw a flicker, a flame in your irises. Suddenly he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away, like both your hearts were magnets yearning to connect. Pushing your hair over a shoulder, your eyelashes fluttered as you peered up at him. He was unsure if it was your heavenly origins that were drawing him in, or if it was you. "Can I walk you back home?" The sentence slipped from his mouth before he could regulate it, his body's natural instinct to be near you for longer.

Even the littlest hint of your smile was dazzling. Your head bobbed up and down, and you squeezed his hand lightly. "I'd like that."

Oh how he would thank the heavens later.

The cosmos were brimming with eternal wonders that burned at their edges, gathering in the dark side of every moon and hiding in the shadow of the rings of silvery planets. Billy had been far and wide across the space of the galaxy, seen things man could never dream up. But never had he been so captivated by anything as you.

Your coppery aura enveloped him like an aphrodisiac, crashing over him and rebounding like the waters of some lost ocean. He was tethered to even the mere idea of you.

You chattered as he walked with you to your residence, and he felt like he was listening to a song. Your being seemed to not only decorate space, but time, and he'd lose a thousand hours in your presence if he could.

"I haven't lived here for long," you explained when he asked, eager to hear you talk about yourself. "I travel between planets, seek passage wherever I can find it. Travelling is my favorite thing." You smiled, seeming to lift off your feet at the thought. "What brings you around here?"

"For work," he said, tearing his eyes away from you to look ahead. Feathered creatures were flying low between string lights, the buzz from earlier dulled to a quiet hum. "I find things for folks who want 'em. 'n they pay me to do it. The last buyer was here."

"You're a treasure hunter?" you asked, delighted by the idea. He exhaled softly, smile growing. Treasure hunter sounded much better than bounty hunter.

He nodded, looking back at you. "Yeah. 'xactly. I find pretty things that folks wanna have."

"So you get to go all over the place," you mused, swaying slightly as you walked like a willow in the breeze. "It must be so wonderful."

"It's exciting, sure," he commented, scratching the back of his head. It was beguiling how much interest you were taking in him, in what he did. Nobody had ever done that before.

You chewed on your bottom lip, pace slowing as you seemed to think of something. Lifting your eyes to his, you let go of his hand and asked, "Does anyone ever want to have something like me?" The question was delivered quietly, with a sense of dismay Billy wanted to scrub from the air. You didn't deserve to ever have to feel such harrowing emotions.

He held your gaze, the reality of the situation seeming to gamble with his feelings. Would you want to talk to him after learning what he was, what people in his occupation did? "Yeah," he found himself saying. "But I ain't in that kinda business."

"You're not?" Conduct lightening again, you held a spark of hope in the vision of you.

"I don't go after anythin' livin'. It's cruel," he assured you, searching your eyes. "Others do. But not me."

There it was again, that divine smile that Billy wanted burnt into his eyes. You took his hand again, resuming walking, and he felt something warm him on the inside. "I'm glad. I'm glad that you don't."

"Me too," he agreed, enjoying the weight of your hand in his. It was almost like you didn't realize the significance of the gesture, like you were doing it simply because it felt nice. There was nothing but innocence attached.

It was blissful just walking with you, watching you point out different things around. You were enthralled by every facet of your surroundings, enchanted by the littlest things. It was adorable- the way you'd gasp and lift a gold-tinted fingernail, the object of your fascination ranging from bugs to buildings. It only made you more wholly beautiful, and he wished the walk was longer.

When the sky was completely black, you stopped in your tracks, another little gasp of the variety he'd grown to love passing your lips. "There they are!"

He followed your gaze up, to where the stars were blinking in patterns stretching far and wide, limbs that glittered in the same wondrous way you did. You lifted a hand in a wave that melted his heart, beaming up at the glinting little spheres. "They're my family. I wave at them every night to let them know I'm okay."

Your words were anointed with a reverence artfully arranged. Billy watched you for a moment. "Hope they're okay with me takin' you home."

"They're very grateful that you've kept me safe," you insisted, squeezing his hand gently. He was stabilized by you, held to the ground. If you left the planet, his gravity would be gone and he would float out into the sky with nary a worry except that he wouldn't pass you on his way through space.

The effect of you had to be alchemistic, a mercurial drug crafted specifically to wrench him in like prey to predator. But you were in front of him, soft and sweet with no possible hint of danger. And Billy felt as though he'd been knocked over the head, seeing an illusion borne of his own loneliness. Though anything of that manner would have faded by now. You remained in his line of sight, roseate and sparkling as only a descendant of the heavens could.

The two of you had reached the edge of the forest, the cobblestone street fading into rich brown earth. You were glowing ever so slightly, enough to distinguish you as extraordinary, and he felt as though he was in a dream, trailing behind you as a shadow.

Stopping there, you turned to him, a darling smile seeming to brighten your light. "Thank you again. For walking me home. And for helping me out."

"'s no problem, sweet." The term of endearment slipped out, and he cursed himself for the half a second before you smiled.

"It was nice," you started, and he found himself hanging onto every word, every breath you exhaled. "To talk to someone who wasn't wanting something else from me." Your doe eyes were boring a hole into him, and he would have disintegrated into dust.

"I liked talkin' to you too," he said, hearing the awe he'd felt all night with you creep into his words. "D'ya...d'ya think I'll see you 'round here again?"

"If it's written in the stars," you smiled, letting go of his hand. With one last look at him, you disappeared through the trees in the blink of an eye, soft glow visible through the mess of branches, then fading into the distance like a candle burning out.

For a moment, all Billy could do was stand there, grinning like a fool. He hadn't even known he was capable of feeling as strongly as he had when you were around. He'd held the hand of a fallen star. A daughter of celestial magnitude.

Chuckling in disbelief, he only turned around when your glow was swallowed by the forest, never dimming, just hidden like a light under a bushel. His steps were meandering, and he retraced his footsteps, drunk on the memory of you. Oh, wouldn't it be nice if he saw you again?

It wasn't every day a star girl smiled at him.

Next Part

[barb-l]

Vaggie is my favorite character, so I want to know where all of this hate for her came from. Like…people hate Vaggie yet love Lute, for example….. wtf? How? And I’m not saying people have to like the same things I do, but I’ve seen mfs bash Vaggie for things other characters have done. Again… what? The? Fuck?

Oh hohoho

I'm in a ranting mood, so let me tell you exactly why by paraphrasing some of the hate posts I've seen classlessly left in the chaggie tag before I blocked the OP's for said posts

"Vaggie has nothing going for her character. All she is, is Charlie's girlfriend"

- not even remotely true. She has a lot going on with her character aside from being The Girlfriend. She struggles with deep self-hatred, something that doesn't necessarily revolve around Charlie, although it does affect her relationship with her(codependency). It's a huge character flaw, though not necessarily bad character writing. It's something she needs to grow from, and something we can still see unfold in the coming seasons. Although she's helping with the hotel to be a supportive girlfriend, it is also something Vaggie believes to be the right thing to do regardless of Charlie. As Rosie inferred, Vaggie saw helping with the hotel as a way to atone for her sins and to do better. Even if the person running the Hotel weren't Charlie or anyone she fell for, I believe it's something she still would have helped with given her backstory. She has connections with other characters too that can be explored more in the future. Aside from just being "Charlie's girlfriend", she is Carmilla's possible additional daughter figure, she is Alastor's biggest obstacle in gaining whatever tf from Charlie, she is Lute's rival, and finally she is Lucifer's blatant parallel.

"Being a fallen angel is the only thing carrying her character. And we barely got any build up on that."

- let's say that's true. IF that's the case, why isn't anyone spitting hate on characters like Husk whose only "thing" is being a past overlord? Even though this had less foreshadowing than Vaggie's angel secret? Even though his only purpose in the story so far is to be Angel's love interest? He may be an alcoholic, but it's barely touched upon what terrible effects that may have for him. And although having his soul owned by Alastor sucks, does he actually suffer aside from that one time Alastor threatened his life? All Alastor is making him do is man the bar(so far). He has nothing to develop from with his character either. In fact, aside from the swearing and the grumpiness, he's a pretty swell guy who doesn't seem to fit in hell. He doesnt have a flaw that the story can aim to have him improve from. All he has going for him is his romance arc with Angel, and his past as an Overlord. Which, i repeat, isn't a bad thing! But how come Vaggie would get so much hate for similar criticisms, while Husk is widely loved by majority of the fandom?

"She doesn't have any chemistry with Charlie"

- something told by someone who ships:

Ch*rl*stor - two people who have only had direct interactions in the pilot(a quick dance number), episode 5(Alastor taking advantage of Charlie's daddy issues to curry favor with her and hit Lucifer's ego), and ep 7 (Alastor taking advantage of Charlie's dejection to make a deal with Charlie). A ship involving the kindest soul in Hell and a serial killer who has no desire to change and ridicules the dream Charlie holds so dear and is so passionate about. It isn't a bad thing to crack ship. Hell I do it too, but it's such a hypocritical thing to say that a canon ship has no chemistry only to claim that two people who have barely any meaningful conversations and positive interactions objectively look more like a couple and would be a better choice to be canon. Just because you like how they look in your imagination doesn't mean canon is objectively bad.

Ch*rlie/Emily - two characters who share so much similarities they can be sisters. It is such a personal thing. I have nothing against those who ship them. It just isn't for me because of the amount of similarities they have. With the intentional parallels, I personally think Emily would be better off having a gf that resembles Vaggie. Where Chaggie has a sunshine demon X grumpy angel duo, Emily could visit hell and fall for a demon who would be her opposite.

Ch*rlie/Lucifer - it's. Incest. Cmon.

"She doesn't care about the denizens of Hell"

- Vaggie's in Hell in the first place because she spared a demon's life. She cares TOO MUCH!

"Vaggie lied to Charlie. Even Adam was more honest with her!"

- I dont even... It should be common sense why Vaggie, who had just been betrayed by ANGELS, would not trust a demon princess with her true identity. Charlie and Rosie already talked about this. Or did they have their eyes and ears closed throughout episode 7?

"She ruined Lucifer's song by reprising it. Why would she do that when it's supposed to be Charlie and Lucifer's thing?? Why would she go and use a song about familial love and change the meaning to romance??"

- musicals that reprise songs to change its initial vibe has always been a thing, first of all. Vaggie reprised Lucifer's song specifically because they have been parallels of each other for the whole show. In fact, Lucifer indirectly echoes back Vaggie's reprise, with his lyrics in The Finale mirroring Vaggie's lyrics. It's not about Vaggie "stealing Lucifer's thing", it's about these two angels who both love Charlie reminding her of that love and how much they believe in her, despite being withheld of Heaven's love and losing faith in it in the process. It's about these two forms of love withstanding Heaven's abandonment and being there for someone who wants to face Heaven head on.

This is probably one of the most ridiculous anti-Vaggie criticism I've read. It's so weird to see such an earnest act of love as something audacious. If anything, Lucifer's the one with the audacity. I love him a LOT, but he did not deserve to be forgiven just because he had a beautiful song number with his daughter. It doesn't change the fact that he neglected Charlie for ages. If anyone deserved to sing More Than Anything, it was Vaggie because she has truly shown her commitment to Charlie. But, yunno. Baby steps.

Honestly for a lot of the characters in this show, all it seems to take for the fandom to like them is to have a song number that they like. People find Vaggie's songs boring. So they find her boring. Not a lot is known or shown of characters like Vox, Velvette, Alastor, and Husk, but apparently they're better developed. Just because they have sick song numbers doesn't mean they're better developed...

[the-s1lly-corner]

How about digital circus x princess! Reader with their very own castle. Elegantly leaning out of their tower singing lullabies for anyone to hear. Ps Keep up the great work 👍

TADC cast x princess!reader

I know I usually stress that I answer stuff chronologically but I misread this as just jax (I'm sleepy!!) So I went to search for a princess reader post i did weeks ago, snagged the link then reread the request and saw it was the whole cast... but I've already committed to the bit by searching for the link sooooooooo

CAINE:

You and I both know hes goinv to use the fact ypure a princess for IHA... captured princess trope stuff, basically! So have fun with that! Absolutely loves your singing, so so much. Probably joins in with you, complimenting your part..or perhaps he hums.. other princesses have cute fairytale animals accompanying them, and you have..... bubble..... huh....

Really ups the whole... act when talking to you.. bows deeply, waves his arm around in a grand fashion when showing you to a room, ect ect ect

POMNI:

Has probably subconsciously/accidentally said you were pretty outloud. Gets absolutely lost in the sauce when you sing. Like just stands there, hands awkwardly clasped together in front of her as she listens. Probably sways side to side too. Gets very pink when talking to you, her face does the O^O thing... absolutely smitten

RAGATHA:

Ah my favorite, royal princess x common lady... well, at least aesthetically... whether or not you're royalty in the real world is debatable... anyways, that aside, I think this is probably one of my favorite ship dynamics... I love.. similar to pomni she is very bad at hiding her feelings around you. Tends to stare with a blushing face. Loves making you dresses; assuming you can swap out dresses considering the whole "their clothes are attatched to their bodies" thing

While I doubt your clothing can rip or tear thanks to the properties of the digital world, I think if she could, she would patch up any holes

KINGER:

Honestly I think out of this entire post, kinger is the only one who gets a platonic/found family take on this... just an old king and his princess kid. Again I'm not sure if he truly believes he royalty or if he was trying to appeal to the gloink queen by saying "as a royal myself.." but.. honestly I like the idea that he just likes playing the part. Like he knows hes not royalty but. You know? Let this man embellish himself

Pillow fort? No, pillow TOWER! No... pillow CASTLE! Pillow kingdom!!!

Nothing too hyped specific here he's just your dad here

ZOOBLE:

Oh? Cool. I mean your singing isnt really their cup of tea, they look like they're into alt/indie stuff tbh...maybe rock. Confession I'm terrible at identifying genres so I'm literally speaking out of my ass rn on what type of music zooble would listen to I'd have to list specific artists and songs

But this isnt about that

Depends on what kind of princess you are

If you're independent, resourceful, and badass I think you guys could build some chemistry

If you're like, damsel in distress, ,kind of stuck up, whiny, prissy, ect then it's a hard no

Not many ideas here tbh <\3

GANGLE:

Also thinks you're very pretty! Also loves your singing! I think she grew up on disney films, and even if she doesnt remember them it's still a core memory that like. is kind of instinctive atp. So she finds comfort around you, you know? LOVE that trope btw, where a character doesnt remember something but still finds comfort in it while not fully understanding why because as far as they know this is the first time with the thing

Absolutely melts if you compliment her. Sure, she would still melt if you weren't a princess.. but having someone so pretty and graceful saying it hits a certain way for her

JAX:

[writeyouin]

Doctor Who (11) X Reader - Holding You

Description - The Doctor finds you sleeping in his bed, and he can't bring himself to leave you. Angst. Hurt / Comfort.

A/N - So, after 29 years I finally see what all the fuss is about and got into Doctor Who. I was just never into it before but now I'm really watching it and I adore it, so I had to write this.

Warnings - None.

Rating - T

Usually, adventures with the Doctor were grand events, full of intrigue, mischief, and maybe a dash of trouble, but the trouble was nothing that you and he together couldn't handle.

Yet, for the first time, things had gone terribly wrong. For the first time ever on an adventure, you hadn't felt safe with the Doctor, almost meeting your end as you were faced with the reality that you could die on any mission and you very nearly had. Yet, even though you had lived and would see another day, you didn't feel good about it when you considered the mass genocide of an alien race that both you and the Doctor had been unable to prevent.

After such an unfathomably awful event, you weren't sure what to do. So, to give yourself some time to think, you told the Doctor that you were going to bathe, and that was that, he didn't even question it, falling into his own quiet despair as he singlehandedly manned the TARDIS, flying it into Deep Space until the two of you were ready to go somewhere else.

Eventually, when you didn't return, the Doctor began wondering where you were and if you had gotten lost; it was quite possible since you weren't familiar with the TARDIS like he was, and it was considerably larger than anyone really anticipated it to be.

The Doctor stroked the TARDIS' control panel affectionately.

"Stay on course, old girl," He instructed. "I think our friend might be having a hard time of it."

With that, he left the control room and began searching for you, calling your name and masking his pain with a charming grin and a jovial tone. In truth, he would have liked to be allowed to cry but at his age, when he had already seen the worst of everything, he was more apt to comfort others and pretend that everything was okay even when it most definitely wasn't.

The Doctor searched room after room, going through them methodically as he sought you out, hoping that you weren't hiding away where he wouldn't be able to help you.

Eventually, the TARDIS' strip lights turned on, setting out a path for him to follow.

"Clever girl," The Doctor praised the TARDIS, his wonderful ship.

He followed the lights to the one room he hadn't expected and for a moment, he was certain that the TARDIS had made a mistake or was ordering him to rest, for of all the rooms on the ship, it had led him to his own bedroom.

There were six bedrooms in total on the ship, and though the Doctor hardly spent any time in his, often just falling asleep in the control room or on one of the catwalks, he did still keep one room for himself. Having often dropped you off at home, the Doctor hadn't gotten around to presenting you with one of the other rooms yet, though he had meant to.

Heading inside, the Doctor fell silent, finding you asleep on the bed. You didn't look peaceful, nor did you look happy as many often did at times of rest; instead you simply looked tired. It was quite likely, the Doctor supposed, that you had indeed gone to seek out the bathroom and instead gotten mixed up and had found this room instead, though you likely wouldn't have known it was his room.

Did you even have any idea that the Doctor avoided this room so much because when he stared at the ceiling on a night, his head and hearts were full of ideas of you?

Ideally, the Doctor knew that he ought to leave you there to rest, but he too was tired. He was heartbroken by his losses today, and his bones were weary with age. He longed for a simple life, a human life that he would never be permitted. The TARDIS was his home, his responsibility, and sometimes, just sometimes it was his prison, constantly reminding him that he was a nomad and couldn't revel in an ordinary life with a person he loved. Oh, how he dreamed of the things that most people cast off as mundane.

Yes, he knew that he should leave you to your rest and set himself about on another task, but he loved you, and if he couldn't have you to hold forever, then he could at least have you for a moment.

Moving quietly, the Doctor got into bed beside you and leaned into the curve of your body, holding you delicately, and taking a moment to breathe you in.

He pulled the blanket over you both and then exhaled contentedly.

No doubt when you awoke he would make some hyperactive excuse as to why he was there, casually brushing it off as normal or perhaps blaming you for taking his bed, but for now, while you were asleep, he could simply dwell in the comfort of a night holding you.

[rorywritesjunk]

Oh, go to sleep, Little Skylark. Fly up past the stars

After breaking your heart, Buggy is cursed to be a kid again. The last thing you want to do is be involved with this.

Rating: PG-13ish. Warning: Arguing adults, hurt feelings, apologies. A/N: Last chapter! Thank you all who have been reading it! It was fun to write something different for Buggy as a kid. <3

Title comes from “Little Skylark (safe at home)” by S.J. Tucker.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @fluffybunnyu @plethora-of-fickleness @ane5e @valen-yamyam16 @lavanderdreamve  @jollycandyruins

Chapter 8

“What?!” He looked shocked by that statement. “I… I never cheated on you!”

“Then who ever the flowers for?!” You demanded.

“I was getting them for you! To apologize!” He told you. He took a few slow, deep breaths again before taking a seat beside you on the bed. You scooted away from him, giving the two of you space. “I… I felt bad. I didn't think you would leave.”

“You… you thought I'd stick around after how you talked to me?! Buggy, you called me a useless cook and ridiculous!” You reminded him. “You thought stealing flowers from a witch was the way to go?!”

“I didn't know she was a witch at the time! And… and you like flowers and they were your favorite colors so I thought that would be a start!” He said. “I'm not good at this sort of thing, okay?! Having a relationship is still new and… weird. I don't know what to do “

“Fucking talking to your partner is a start.” You grumbled as you rubbed your nose. “Insulting them isn't really the best thing.”

“Well now I know.” Buggy shot back. “But I'm… sorry.”

You paused, making him wait a minute in silence before you turned to look at him. “Do you remember any of the conversation from this morning? Or… or what has taken place the last few days?”

“Yea.” He hesitated. “Thank you.”

“For?” You asked. You needed to hear him say it.

“Taking care of me. I probably would have ended up dead or kidnapped if you weren't around.” Buggy said as rested his hand on the bed beside you. “And… I'm sorry for how I spoke to you. And treated you. And everything else.”

You nodded and reached over, patting his hand gently. “Thank you for apologizing.”

“Just everything was stressful and crazy for a while and I took it out on you.” He mumbled. “I was a dick.”

“You really were. You hurt my feelings.” You told him. “And maybe I was a bit petty in how I left, but I felt justified. Richie deserved that steak.” You rubbed your nose and sniffed. “My things are still at the inn.”

“I'll send someone to grab it.” Buggy said. “We need a cook on the ship.”

“I don't know, Buggy. I spent the last few days planning to leave, but I don't know where I'd go.”

“Can you stay? You… you're the best cook. I wouldn't be able to find anyone else.”

“I want a pay increase.” You told him. He nodded. “And… that pantry in the kitchen? It's huge. We aren't even using it. That's going to be my bedroom.”

“Oh.” He frowned. He apologized, you two talked about it, but you wanted your own bedroom? “Yea, okay.”

“Buggy, we aren't a couple anymore. I'm not sharing a bed with you.” You said firmly. “At least… not now. I need space from you.”

“Well, how long do you need space from me?” Buggy asked with a frown. “A few months? Weeks?”

“Just give me my space.” You sighed. “This has been a hard week for me.”

“You?! What about me?!” He demanded. “I was a child and almost kidnapped!”

“And? I was dragged back into this by Mohji because he didn't know what else to do!” You snapped. “I took care of you while trying to make myself hate you, Buggy! I didn't want to do it!”

“Then why did you even bother?! You're obviously terrible with kids!”

“Because there's some part of me that still loves you, you idiot! I didn't want something bad to happen to you!” You stood up from the bed, seething as you started to pace back and forth. Your arm was throbbing, you were angry, and you wanted to lie down. You were feeling just a bit lightheaded. This wasn't how you wanted the conversation to go but it wasn't too surprising. This wasn't the best time to have this talk. “This is dumb.”

“You need to sit back down.” Buggy’s hands went to your shoulders, steering you back over to the bed. “Take it easy.”

“Don't tell me what to do.” You hissed as you sat back down. He grumbled something about being stubborn as he pushed you to lay down and lifted your legs onto the bed. You curled away from him while he tucked a few pillows under your injured arm to elevate it. You didn't want him taking care of you, you weren't even asking him to, but he wasn't saying anything as he checked your stitches again before pulling a blanket over you. 

“I'm going to check on the crew.” He said as he went to grab a shirt. “Just stay here.”

You didn’t want to listen, you wanted to get out of the comfortable bed and leave, but you were also just feeling drained. The last week was exhausting, the conversation had been exhausting, and just… you wanted to close your eyes just for a bit and maybe wake up in a few days. Maybe the last few months were just some nightmare you had to live through, and you’d wake up tomorrow and everything would be fine. 

~

Someone was touching your arm, poking at the stitches gently, which was disrupting your sleep. You lifted your head from the pillows, groggy and confused as you tried to figure out where you were. Buggy was sitting on the edge of the bed beside you, holding your arm carefully as he made sure your injury was healing okay. When he saw you waking up he lowered it back onto the pillows.

“I brought you something to eat.” 

“Who cooked it?” You mumbled as you buried your face back into the pillows. “I don’t want it.”

“It’s just soup.” He grumbled. “I made it.”

You lifted your head just a bit to look at him before sighing loudly. You gave yourself a moment before you started to sit up. He was trying. You had to give that to him. And he apologized, that was a start. You weren’t sure of your feelings on the matter still, but he was trying. Once you situated yourself against the headboard, he picked the bowl up and dipped the spoon in before holding it out to you. 

You could feed yourself but you were too tired to fight him. He gave you the first spoonful, waiting for a reaction, and it… was okay. It was just broth with some veggies, and at least the veggies were cooked. The broth was warm, making it easy to swallow without the risk of burning your mouth. You nodded at him, cradling your arm to your chest as he continued feeding you.

“It’s good, thanks.” You told him, trying not to react as a smug expression crossed his face. 

“Well, I was sleeping with the cook, so I learned a few things.” He teased as you rolled your eyes. “What? She was pretty handy with a knife.”

“I’ll show you how handy I am with a knife.” You shot back, though with no malice. “I’m glad you remembered how much salt to use, and you chopped the carrots evenly. I’m glad you were listening that day.”

“I listened.” Buggy muttered as he stirred the soup a bit before offering another spoonful for you. “Just not all the time. I’m trying, y’know.”

You didn’t want to get into another fight, you were too tired. You just nodded, reaching over to pat his arm gently as you let him feed you. 

“Thank you for the soup.” You said. 

“Are you going to stay for sure?” He asked. “We… can turn the pantry into your bedroom. I just want you to stay.”

“I mean, I don’t have a job lined up yet.” 

“I had Mohji get your things. They’re here in my room until we can get your room ready.” Buggy told you. “I just don’t want you to leave.”

“Well, if I’m not fired for feeding the lion a steak or being mean to you when you’re a kid… guess I can stay a bit longer.” You told him with a shrug. “And you owe me flowers that aren’t stolen from a witch.”

He looked just a bit hopeful and nodded. “I’ll steal them from someone else.”

“But we’re not together, Buggy.”

“Not yet, anyways.” He smirked. “But you’ll get some apology flowers. I’ll keep apologizing until you’re happy.”

That wasn’t really what you wanted, but you just nodded. You figured in a week he’d forget about getting you flowers, forget about all of this, and would go back to trying to get back together with you, or give up entirely, you weren’t sure. And you weren’t sure what you would want from him either, but you knew you needed space. For your own sanity you needed boundaries with him, to make sure there wouldn’t be any repeated arguments, fights, anything. 

~

Your room was ready a week later with a bed and some shelves put up. You didn’t specify what you actually wanted, but it worked. The first time you went into it when it was finished, you were surprised to see flowers everywhere in there. The smell was a little overpowering, but Buggy looked so proud of himself that you didn’t say anything.

You had taken to cooking for the crew again, but simple meals due to your arm, and no one complained, which was probably because Buggy would glare at them as you served the food. They wouldn’t make any comments in front of him, even if you served the same meal three days in a row while the ship was out at sea. And Buggy was back to saying your food was amazing, that it was the best meal ever, and you were okay with it. You knew he was wanting you to be happy, and you kind of were.

Until your room had been ready, Buggy was having you sleep in his bed, even allowing you to put a wall of pillows between them. You ignored the hurt expression on his face when you suggested it, but it was what you wanted and he begrudgingly allowed it. It wasn’t like he was going to cuddle, but you knew how much he could move in his sleep.

Your first night in the room was… different. It reminded you of being back at the inn when you were a miserable wreck. Cold, alone, empty. You tried for a few hours to sleep in there but to your own surprise and Buggy’s, you were knocking on his door after midnight.  He let you in without a word and went to grab pillows to create a barrier, but you hesitated.

“Don’t, it’s fine.” You muttered as you headed over to what was your side of the bed once more. 

“You don’t like your room?” He frowned. 

“It’s not that, just… didn’t want to be alone yet.” You told him. “I’ll sleep there tomorrow night, if that’s okay.”

“Whatever.” Buggy shrugged as he went to his side of the bed. You crawled under the covers and rolled onto your side with your back to him. This was fine, just one more night and then you would be able to sleep in your own room. It was what you wanted. You didn’t want to be doing this but you wanted to sleep, to feel comfortable, but you didn’t want the loneliness that came with having your own room. 

And you fell asleep without any problem shortly after, sleeping through the night and into morning. When you finally woke up, Buggy was behind you, fast asleep as he clung to you. Maybe you would ease into having space from him, considering ever since you said that, you two spent more time together. He was taking care of you, checking your injury, even helping you in the kitchen. If all it took was a witch’s curse to help your relationship, you wondered if you could enlist her help if there were problems again.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Sweet Cis Teen (Dazey and the Scouts)

If my gender had legs, it would sprint/Catch up with all the progress that feminism is making/All the FUCKING progress that/T.E.R.F. feminism is making

"Love it when there is screaming in gender song <3"

No Children (The Mountain Goats)

I hope that our few remaining friends/Give up on trying to save us/I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot/To piss off the dumb few that forgave us/I hope the fences we mended/Fall down beneath their own weight/And I hope we hang on past the last exit/I hope it’s already too late

I hope it stays dark forever/I hope the worst isn't over....And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out/You'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning/There is no sign of land/You are coming down with me/Hand in unlovable hand

And I hope you die/I hope we both die

"The song of all time. It's the soundtrack for countless bad vibes ships (affectionate). The phrase 'hand in unlovable hand' has immutably altered the brain chemistry of thousands with its underlying sentiment and launched a hundred accompanying memes. 'I hope you die, I hope we both die' crams such incredible rawness and depth of feeling into all of nine words. It also makes for a great singalong."

"I need to leave. I need to LEAVE. I need to get out of this situation and I'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way. I need to leave. Please. Let me out. HAND IN UN FUCKING LOVABLE HAND"

"Just. Man. These two are so broken. They want to be in love. They aren't. They hate each other so much. They are the only ones who understand each other. They wish that they weren't so close but all they can taste is ash when they think of leaving each other. Just, mutually assured destruction tastes so sweet when you can taste the blood on their tongue."

"It's No Children."

"goddd man this song is about being an irredeemable freak with another irredeemable freak and i think that's beautiful. there's something so fuck you up ish about the person you hate and despise the most in the world also being the only other person who is like you, who gets you. im going down, but youre going down too. we can be terrible people together... even if i hate you... even if you're the fucking worst. because we don't have anyone else. there's always a sort of comfort in knowing that there's someone out there who's as terrible as you are, and maybe you only hate them because you see yourself in them a little, too. anyway clay and bloberta from moral orel"

"The sheer emotion packed into the way it’s sung, the lyrics themselves, all of it just screams ‘clinging desperately to someone you hate because you don’t have anyone else and you burned those bridges yourself’ and I find that painfully relatable"

"It's a song about both virulent self-hatred and virulent hatred of someone else and yet you see yourself intertwined with that hated person forever."

Poll runner: Do I even have to add anything? This was the tournament's most submitted song.

No Children submitted by @leovaldezdefender + @diogenescynic2288 + many others

[cosmicmagicgirl]

Do you trust me? - Comfort/Hurt/Fluff - Luffy x F/Reader.

@littleblueeyedmoon request: Hi! I saw that your request are open, and i thought I’d give it a try. Could i request some comfort/hurt ending with fluff with an insecure reader about her value with Luffy?

First he found her on that island, and obviously protected her from the Cidre Guild's attacks. It wouldn't be enough to just fall in during Empress Hancock's bath, Luffy also had to be oblivious to all the woman's advances. Not that you could get too mad at him, his laid back and innocent personality is what won you over in the first place.

Loving Luffy is not hard, in fact, it is the easiest thing. It's like breathing, you just do it. He was the sun itself, which is slightly ironic since his ship is the Thousand Sunny, but it's the truth, Luffy was easy to love and warmed the heart of anyone who was in his presence. However, being in the presence of someone like that makes you question your own worth, not that this is your captain's fault, but it is because he was an amazing human being in every sense of the word, it is true when we say that everyone is capable of loving Luffy to some level. That included all kinds of people, especially women.

This intensified after the two years you were apart, you trained hard, but not being by Luffy's side when he lost Ace made you feel terrible, you didn't want to imagine the extent of his pain...

And it only got worse when you learned that during this whole process the famous Empress Boa Hancock was present, and had a crush on your captain. You wish you could have been there, hugged Luffy and dried all the tears that might have run down your face during the nightmares of every night, but you weren't. You just buried it in your chest and moved on knowing that Luffy wouldn't take any of it from you, it seemed such a petty thing to feel jealous of the Empress at that point, and it was his order even that you all get stronger and get back together again two years later.

Would you be something after that time? Not that you had labeled your relationship, but before it was obvious to everyone in the crew that you were together. Was it a normal relationship? Definitely not, because nothing with Luffy could be normal. However, you knew he was with you and you were happy, but now what?

When you met again you decided to keep deep down that little insecurity that had settled in your mind during the period when you were apart.

But it has been a bit hard for you...

Luffy was never one to flirt with anyone, so that was never something you would worry about. The problem is that he was too oblivious and too kind for his own good....

You wanted to have been happy that Luffy had found the invitation to the Pirate Festival, but the interaction with Hancock looped through your mind, so nothing the crew talked about made you feel excited. However, you knew how to fake it well, you were always good at hiding your feelings, you just didn't know how far you could mask your insecurities.

So when Luffy smiled and announced "Let's set sail, our destination is Delta Island" you put your best smile on your face and agreed.

Well, the Festival couldn't have been worse for you, I mean, you even tried to have fun with the girls and Chopper while shopping, but your mind was away. However, nothing is bad enough that it can't get worse, that's what you thought when you were thrown to the other side of Delta Island by Douglas Bullet when you tried to protect Usopp and the treasure that would be Luffy's. You fell straight into the sea, and blacked out.

You woke up with Nami calling you and putting pressure on your chest.

- Thank God you're awake! - she sighed with relief. - What a fright you gave me!

You got up quickly and let all the water out of your lungs.

- I'm sorry - you forced a smile. - Is everyone all right?

Nami smiled and handed you a towel.

- Yes, I mean... Luffy is still fighting that thing - she pointed to the other side of the island.

You got to your feet with some difficulty and tried to hand the towel back to Nami.

- I should get back? - you said.

- Look! It's Shichibukai Empress Boa Hancock! - you heard Bartolomeo shout.

Nami and you looked in her direction from a considerable distance.

- Listen up! No matter what I do, the whole world will be at my feet. Do you know why? - said the woman. - Because I'm too beautiful!

Nami rolled her eyes.

A Navy captain shouted some order, but received a nervous response from the Empress.

- Shut up! - she shouted. - Where is Luffy?

Your body tensed, and you gripped the towel in your hands tighter when you saw Hancock heading toward where Luffy was supposed to be fighting.

Nami looked back at you and grabbed your hand.

- Hey... are you okay? - she asked worriedly.

When your friend touched your hand you automatically made a mental note to hide your reactions better, so you blinked at her and gave her a big smile.

- Yes, thank you for saving me, Nami - you shook her hand back. - I'll help with the Navy ships.

She frowned.

- I thought you were going back to help Luffy.

You forced a laugh from your lips.

- I'd only be in the way, the Captain doesn't need my help. - you tried to soften your voice as much as possible. - I'm going now.

- Hey, wait! - Nami shouted, but to no avail.

You were already gone.

It was no surprise to you when they said that Luffy had destroyed the Eternal Pose for Laugh Tale, it was just his style to do that. Everyone went back to the ship, Usopp was still sleeping because of his injuries, but in the end everyone was safe and sound.

It was quite an adventure.

And just when you thought you could finally calm your mind since the events with Boa Hancock and the Cidre's Guild, you couldn't be more wrong. The Empress decided to sail her ship side by side with Sunny for a few days, that meant she would be by Luffy's side the whole time and her dear captain wouldn't do anything about it, of course he wouldn't, why would he? Were you really something? Did you compare in beauty and strength to the great Shichibukai? God, you were sure you didn't.

Having to see all the moments when she declared herself and showed her affection for your boyfriend, while he just smiled and continued to play with Usopp only dug an even deeper hole in your chest.

It was here that you realized that your mask was about to come off, and it would be awful to have someone ask about it, you felt like such an idiot for letting your feelings get the worst of you. But gosh, it was so painful to think that you would never be enough for him, it would be easier to just feel an emptiness inside - like you felt before you met Luffy.

Looking at your pictures together in your little notebook reminded you of when you first met the straw hat. Meeting Luffy was like spending years in the desert searching for water and finding an oasis, it was like receiving a warm, cozy lap after spending years in a snowstorm alone, and most of all it was hope. Thinking about losing Luffy to someone who would probably be much better than you only made the shame of yourself increase - you were pathetic.

So you did what you thought would be best, you isolated yourself. As long as the Empress remained, you would avoid leaving the room and take any task that would get you away from everyone. Your insecurities took over your mind, and the last thing you needed was for any of your companions to feel sorry for you or just try to comfort you. You loved them, but you couldn't handle it now?

That's what you thought at least.

You walked up to the crow's nest and spotted the one you were looking for - Zoro was sleeping as usual. You kicked his feet gently to wake him up.

He opened one of his eyes.

- I was awake, you know.

You rolled your eyes and laughed.

- I just wanted to make sure - you said as you crossed your arms. - You can go to sleep, I'll pick up your shift.

Zoro raised one eyebrow.

- Again? - he said, getting up.

- Yes -  you answered bluntly. - Don't you want to go to sleep?

This time the green-haired man crossed his arms.

- You've been taking all night shifts for three days now, and I ask you, don't you want to go to sleep?

You sat down with your back to him and stared at the Empress ship through the window.

- No, I'm fine -  you stretched and picked up the new book Robin had given you as a present at the Festival.

Zoro stared at you, and scratched the back of his neck.

- You want to talk-

You interrupted him.

- Good night, Zoro -  and began to read the book.

The swordsman sighed and walked away, leaving you in the company of silence and your newest book.

-Y/n! - called Luffy, smiling. - Come here!

You smiled and went toward Sunny's head, Luffy's favorite spot.

He stretched out his arms and wrapped them around your waist, and pulled you up.

- Luffy! - you exclaimed. - Careful, we might fall!

He laughed with a toothy grin.

- Shishishi - he hugged you tight. - I'll never let you fall, y/n! Don't you trust me?

You were surprised at his words, but then you smiled at him with all the affection your heart could muster.

- Of course I trust you, Captain. - you took his hand in yours. - The future King of Pirates would never let me fall!

And he smiled even wider as you watched the sunset.

You could already see the sun rising over the horizon, so you knew that Sanji would be waking up to prepare breakfast. Knowing this you dispelled the memories that hit you, went downstairs and straight to the kitchen to have your coffee before everyone else, and then stay in your room for the rest of the day.

As soon as you entered the kitchen Sanji welcomed you with a gentle smile.

- I see you've picked up the watch again -  he said, handing you a cup of tea. - May I ask how long you will be doing this, sweetie?

You smiled at your friend thanking him for the tea.

- How long will I be taking shifts? - you played dumb.

Sanji went back to the stove and had his back to you.

- He can be pretty stupid most of the time - you smiled. - But he's not stupid, you know...

You picked up one of the muffins he had put on the table.

- Thanks for breakfast, Sanji -  you finished drinking your tea and eating, and got up to put them in the sink since Sanji would never allow you to wash them.

And so you made your way to the girls' room.

Nami had probably already got up to take her shower, so she was not in the room, but Robin was.

- Picked up the watch again I suppose? - she said in her soft voice.

You put your things on the table, got into bed and covered yourself up.

- I wanted to read that book, so this is the best time - you replied. Robin agreed.

- Luffy asked about you all day yesterday - she reported. - But I told him you were asleep, because you spent the night on watch.

  Your body froze.

- Right... - you curled up even closer under the covers. - Thank you, Robin.

  Robin walked over to the table and picked up the book you were reading, you had read fewer pages than usual, she concluded by marking it.

- Perhaps you would like to know that the Empress will be leaving with her ship soon? - she stared at you, but you didn't move. - Perhaps tomorrow.

You sat up in bed.

- God, this is so ridiculous. - you rubbed your face. - It's so obvious to all of you, isn't it?

- Well, isolating yourself might not have been very subtle. - Nami's voice came, she had just entered the room.

- Maybe I'm just tired of being subtle - you muttered.

- It's about time, finally then! - she exploded.

Robin laughed.

You threw yourself back on the bed.

- You have to tell him. - Nami said.

You snorted.

- That's pretty obvious, Nami, thanks -  you said ironically. - It hadn't even crossed my mind.

- Apparently it didn't even cross your mind since you're avoiding him like a plague! - she said nervously. - Consequently driving us all away together.

You sighed.

- I know, I'm sorry...

- Just get rid of whatever's bothering you - Nami ordered. - You always keep everything to yourself, if you don't want to talk to Luffy about it yet, at least talk to us. We're your friends.

Robin agreed.

- I feel so stupid about this. - you admitted. - I hate feeling this way, it's frustrating - you started to feel your eyes sting. - I just don't feel that I'm worthless to Luffy, not as someone special...

- Like a girlfriend -  Nami concluded.

You agreed.

And it was a good few minutes of you pouring out your insecurities about how you felt compared to the famous Empress, and it didn't help that Luffy didn't seem to show any romantic feelings about you. Nami and Robin were kind enough to wipe away your tears and hug you to stifle the sobs that insisted on coming from your lips.

They stayed there until you fell asleep.

Nami looked at Robin and sighed in annoyance as they both left the room.

  - How long do you think she has been feeling like this? I mean, it's a long time if it's been on her mind since our separation.

Robin paused for a moment to think.

- If it came up because of the Empress, then yes, it is since our separation. I'm not surprised she's like this - they approached the kitchen. - It's a long time feeding these insecurities.

- It's understandable that she doesn't want to see them - said Nami.

- Who doesn't want to see who? - a voice behind them asked.

Nami and Robin were startled.

- Luffy!

The boy let out a laugh.

- So, what were you two talking about? - he turned his head to the side in confusion, his typical confused expression.

Nami stammered.

- I was talking about a new book I bought at the Festival - Robin answered. - It's a novel.

Luffy stared at them for a moment and then agreed indifferently.

- SANJI!!! FOOD!!! - shouted the captain.

Everyone was already in the kitchen, ready to attack the food Sanji had prepared.

However, as soon as Luffy went to take the cookies to his mouth, he stopped for a moment staring at all his companions as if looking for something.

- Where is y/n? - he asked confused.

Everyone was silent.

Luffy blinked a few times in confusion, then Sanji spoke.

- Our dear y/n-swan has already had breakfast - he brought the cigarette to his lips. - She was watching last night. 

Again silence reigned in the room.

- Again? - asked the captain. - Wasn't it Zoro's turn?

Everyone was surprised.

- She asked to take my place - said the swordsman, taking another piece of cake.

Luffy frowned and his face became serious.

- Is she having trouble sleeping? - asked Chopper. - She needs rest....

The poor reindeer seemed to be the only one besides her captain who didn't know what was going on.

- Y/n-san asked me yesterday to take my next shift - said Brook. - And my shift is tonight...

Luffy got up without even touching his food and went towards the kitchen door.

- Luffy! Wait! - called Nami. - She's tired, we let her sleep. Talk to her later, okay?

Luffy didn't stop and left.

Nami sighed tiredly, and Robin smiled.

- I hope they work things out - Usopp said with his mouth full. - No one can contain Luffy like y/n, he's been hard to keep up with these days.

- But with the Empress here, suuuper not cool! - Frank was sincere. - Poor y/n... our captain is very oblivious.

- Yo-ho-ho-ho - laughed Brook. - The Empress Boa Hancock didn't leave him alone for a second.

- That idiot! - Sanji whined with envy.

Luffy was determined to find you and find out why you were avoiding him, he could be very distracted at times, but it had been a while since he felt that you were becoming more and more distant from him. He was a straightforward guy with simple conclusions, so he just waited for you to talk to him about whatever was bothering you.

The thing is, you didn't do that, you just smiled back at him as you normally did, and that made him think that you were better. But he realized that he was a fool to think that, of course you were faking it, now what he wanted to know was why you did it. Did you no longer trust him? Did you not like him anymore?

Luffy was not an insecure boy, in fact, he was quite confident. That changed a little when he thought he had lost his crew and after Ace died. But he managed to turn it around and focus on coming back stronger to fulfill his dream and protect his crew - and protect you.

However, at this very moment a small spark of insecurity arose in your mind, could it be that you had grown tired of him? I mean, he knows that he is an energetic and difficult person to keep up with, but you always seemed to enjoy his antics. Why then would you show that you were okay, if in fact you were not.

He felt a little betrayed, as if everyone knew what you had - except him.  

As he crossed the deck to head toward his rooms, a voice called out to him.

- Luffy! My darling! - Boa Hancock and her passionate eyes came toward him. - Good morning! How are you?

Luffy ignored it and went on his way - he had too much on his mind to listen to the Empress at the moment.

Boa Hancock froze, she seemed to have been deeply hurt.

- Luffy? - she called out in confusion.

As he turned the knob to go to the bedroom hallway one of Hancock's sisters shouted.

- IT'S THE MARINE!!!

And a thud hit Sunny - they were firing cannonballs.

Everyone came out of the kitchen and took their posts.

Luffy was annoyed, he would have to talk to you later.

It was two Marine ships, the Marines cornered them and soldiers stormed Sunny's deck. The Empress' ship was dealing with one and the Straw Hats with the other.

You woke up when the ship rocked and you rolled out of bed.

- Oh, shit! - you rubbed your lower back in pain. - What the hell was that?

That's when you heard Nami scream.

- Fucking Marines!

You ran out without even putting on your shoes, and when you opened the door to the hallway you found chaos on the deck. You joined Nami's side, knocking out one of the sailors who was trying to attack her from behind.

- Looks like you woke up just in time -  she said, smiling.

Another thud hit the ship, and you almost lost your balance.

- We need to get out of the crossfire, Nami -  you said.

She agreed.

- Frank! - she shouted.

One of the Marines aimed at you from a distance and fired, and you managed to dodge it just in time to knock him off the ship.

You looked directly at the bullet now lodged in Sunny's wood and thought it strange. You reached up and took the bullet by the fingers and were startled.

Kairoseki

You turned quickly and ran to warn Nami, but she had already changed position, everyone was scattered and with the cannon noises it was impossible for anyone to hear you.

That's when you heard Luffy's scream, he was about to take down a dozen sailors, but he didn't see when the navy captain had a gun pointed at his back.

Time seemed to have stopped, your throat knotted and your heart seemed to have stopped for those seconds. You didn't think for a second, your body moved on its own and your legs ached from the force you exerted on them, but you had to - you had to get to him in time.

When the sound of the gunshot reverberated, you screamed.

- Luffy! - throwing yourself on him.

- Y/N! - he smiled, thinking that you were happy to see him, but his smile disappeared seconds after he realized what had happened. - What did you-

Zoro watched as Luffy braked as he looked at one of his hands, he immediately set about knocking down the man who had tried to shoot his captain.

Luffy saw red, her blood now trickling down his hands as he tried to cover the wound on her back.

- CHOPPER!!! - he shouted. - FAST!!!

Luffy's chest filled with a fear he hadn't experienced in two years. He was terrified, you weren't opening your eyes and your breathing seemed weaker and weaker.

It was all over as quickly as it started, the Marines beat a retreat and the Straw Hat crew ran to see what had happened. Chopper picked up your unconscious body and ran towards the infirmary - everyone was left waiting for what would happen next.

- Why would she do that? - whispered Usopp. - After all Luffy is bullet-proof...

Everyone was silent.

No one dared to speak to their captain at that moment, not even the Empress, he seemed as angry as he was desolate. It had been almost an hour since Chopper came in with you, and no news had arrived.

Until the door to the infirmary opened and a gloomy reindeer came out.

- She's out of danger now... - everyone's breath seemed to have caught, as everyone let out a sigh of relief. - But there is no prediction for when she will wake up...

- Was it that bad? - asked Robin.

Chopper's voice came out apprehensive.

- The bullet passed close to the heart, if it was only a few centimeters to the side... - he swallowed dryly. - I couldn't save her...

Everyone choked.

- Another thing - Chopper stretched out his paws and handed a piece of cloth to Usopp - It's made of Kairoseki...

The relatively thick bullet was there stained with his blood.

Luffy stood up and stroked the reindeer's head.

- Thank you, Chopper... - he went towards the infirmary. - But I need to see her now.

Chopper agreed.

You didn't know how much time had passed, the last thing you remembered was your captain's panicked face and his voice calling you from afar, he seemed so far away - how tragic.

You felt your whole body burn for a few moments, and everything seemed to hurt. You opened your eyes and saw the clear ceiling that appeared to be the one in Chopper's ward, you tried to sit up, but the pain stopped you. So you just turned your head to survey the place.  

Your breathing stopped when you saw Luffy's body sitting on the other side of the floor against the wall, he appeared to be asleep. You smiled with relief, he was okay after all.

Your sigh of relief was louder than intended, as Luffy's head rose from his sleep - he seemed surprised to see you awake.

- You're awake! - he smiled. - I'll go get Chopper.

A few days passed, and Luffy never left your side. Apparently the Empress had been on her way from the time you crawled into the infirmary until you woke up. You had slept for two days.

You were doing better, although Chopper insisted that you remain under observation. So, to distract yourself you began to read the book that Robin had given you, and Luffy listening intently - he insisted that you read it to him too.

- In exchange for your help, he said, I offer you something very valuable - you read aloud. - My freedom? asked the man. - You paused to watch the reaction of the young man next to you, he was involved in the story. - Freedom can be taken away from us, as you well know. I offer you my knowledge.

Luffy wrinkled his forehead and made a pout with his lips that you found adorable.

- They shouldn't have their freedom taken away - he complained.

You laughed.

- Well, I guess you're right. - You closed the book.

Luffy stared at you for a moment.

- I'm sorry - he whispered.

You looked confused.

- For what?

- For letting you get hurt -  his voice came out so low you couldn't tell it was Luffy speaking. - I thought...

You touched his hand gently and your thumb made affectionate circles in his palm.

- Hey... - you warned him. - There's no reason for you to apologize, you know. I'd do it again to protect you.  - A loving smile appeared on your lips. - After all, I love you...

This made Luffy's heart leap and he smiled.

- Do you love me...? - asked Luffy as if he had discovered something incredible. - Really?

You laughed at his reaction.

- Of course I do, you silly... - you put your hands on his face and stroked his cheeks. - Why so surprised?

Luffy leaned into the touch of your hands.

- You were avoiding me... - he said. - I thought you didn't like me anymore.

  His hand stopped and you widened your eyes, surprised this time.

Your heart ached, he looked so desolate when he spoke. After all that had happened you had forgotten your insecurities, they had been replaced by the physical pain and worry that Luffy was hurt.

But now, all that came back again, the anguish you felt. You knew you should have talked to him about it, now he was the one who thought you didn't feel the same way. God, what a mess.

- Everyone seemed to know what was wrong but me. - he said in frustration. - I was going to talk to you that morning, but the Marines came, and - His voice broke. - And I almost lost you…

- Luffy, I...

- Don't you trust me anymore? - his eyes looked pleading, and it hurt your heart to see him so distressed. - You didn't look happy...

- Of course I do! - you answered immediately. - Of course I trust you, Luffy. I just... - you sighed. - This is so embarrassing...

Luffy looked confused.

- Then why didn't you talk to me? - he asked.

- Because I was afraid... - you replied, but before he could think it was his you answered. - Afraid that I was right.

- Right? - he turned his head in confusion, he was annoyingly cute.

- Luffy... - your voice came out fearful. - Are you my boyfriend?

He made a confused face and then shook his shoulders.

- “Boyfriend" is a stupid word, I'm not your boyfriend -  he said. Your heart seemed to break, and then he continued. - What we are can't be labeled with words like that, even friends don't come close.

Your heart raced with anxiety.

- We are much, much more than that! - Luffy exclaimed. - You are going to be my pirate queen after all.

He smiled. Oh yes, he smiled, and may God have mercy on you, ‘cause that man was your sun. Your eyes filled with tears and you began to cry instantly.

Luffy became desperate.  

-Oi! why are you crying? - he tried to wipe the tears from his face. - Did I say something stupid?

You laughed.

- No, it's nothing like that.

Luffy snorted.

- Don't scare me like that, y/n! - he crossed his arms as if in a tantrum.

- Sorry, Luffy... - you laughed as you dried your tears. - It's just, I thought you didn't want me anymore.

Luffy changed his posture.

- Why would you think that? - he said seriously.

- I thought you liked Empress Boa Hancock... -  you admitted embarrassed. - I felt so weak and ugly compared to her. She's so beautiful and you always paid attention to her, and...

Luffy was silent.

- I wasn't there for you when you lost Ace - you cried again. - I wasn't strong enough on Delta Island and you didn't seem to be attracted to me anymore. I thought I wasn't enough, I never would be, you are amazing..., but she.... She is, and...

- Stop - Luffy's voice sounded more serious than usual, his gaze was fixed on you. - I think you're amazing, y/n! You wouldn't be my person, my future pirate queen, if I didn't! I would never change my mind about that, well only if you didn't want to be... - he rambled.

You were silent, your heart beating so fast.

- I love you! - Luffy shouted. - And you're strong as hell! And well... - he scratched the back of his neck. - I think you're so beautiful, and your smile... I love to see you smile.

Your eyes widened, Luffy had never complimented you like that, you were embarrassed, your cheeks were probably red.  

- I chose you, I don't want anyone else, and I decide that I will love you! Always! - he said determinedly.

Tears again streamed down your face, but this time they were tears of joy. You smiled and agreed with your beloved captain.

After Chopper gave you your pain medicine, you lay down to sleep, but not before asking Luffy to join you. Now here you were, with your head resting against the chest of the man who owned your heart. You lifted your head to look at his face, and then your eyes met, and he kissed your forehead and smiled kindly.

You snuggled back into his arms and in a clearly harmonious, almost predestined harmony, your hearts beat as one, you closed your eyes and laughed to yourself - we are all fools in love. Whatever your insecurities were, they vanished like dust in the air.  In that moment in Luffy's arms, all you felt was how loved you were.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Ginny is to good for Harry, done i said it.

Ginny deserves better than him, he's boring and he just had Ginny because he's the main character.

Oh, come on! I've already explained why I disagree. Sure, it wasn't a full detailed analysis but I didn't think it was necessary!

(here)

Listen, Harry with anyone but Ginny? A terrible love interest if I've ever seen one. But the Harry that exists around Ginny? Now, that guy is a great love interest.

Harry around Ginny is the best Harry hands down. He is fun and open and gentle and caring and attentive and emotionally intelligent. Fiercely protective but deeply respecting.

He is not boring.

Boring!

Harry of all people.

He doesn't have the variety of interests Ginny has but there's a reason, have you seen the poor guy's life? Give him five seconds to have a normal life.

I love Ginny to death, if Harry weren't worthy of her I would never ship them.

Like, come on, have you seen the guy around that girl? He literally chooses to protect her (and probably strangle Bellatrix) over killing his nemesis and pure embodiment of evil. The whole reason why he wants her away from danger is that he would quite literally let the rest of the world burn if it were the only option to keep her safe.

Ginny is Harry's exception. She is a constant exception to his behaviour since they were literally two awkward children. Harry was more comfortable at twelve with a crying Ginny that at fifteen with a crying Cho. In DH a second he is there claiming that Ginny is amazing because she rarely cries and two minutes later he is whining about the fact that he can't take care of her while she cries because Ron is being a fucking idiot.

Give some credit to my homeboy.

And he has so much respect for her strength and her talents. Like so much.

She is basically a goddess to him.

He can't even keep things from her, the poor guy. He tells her that he has to kill Voldemort when it's supposed to be like... the most important secret of the whole war? He has a hard time keeping things from her mother only because she has her eyes!!!

What are we even talking about here?

Also, the whole "he had Ginny only because he is the main character" is so random. She was literally created to be his match. That's kind of the whole point.

[iratempestatis]

Pretty.

Kaeya x gn!reader

Just a bunch of fluff, reader is bad at showing their emotions and Kaeya's just shooting his shot lmao. Apologies for being too specific at times, I wrote this with someone in mind <3

Throwing food at pedestrians was generally frowned upon, whether you were a normal citizen or the esteemed captain of the Knights of Favonius. You're fairly certain your captain is aware of this, and yet-

You whip your head around and glare at Kaeya as another sunsettia makes an elegant arc and bounces off your shoulder, onto the ground. What was wrong with this man? Why was he wasting food like this?

Your captain had very thin hair already, curving over his shoulder like a rat’s tail. He didn't need to give you incentive to rip it all off. You're sure it would fall off on it's own by the time he was forty. You’re certain he'd still look as lovely as he did now.

But enough of that! He wasted food!

“Captain!”

“So sorry.” He grins and bites into a sunsettia. The bright morning sky brings out the cool blue tones in his eyes. He's pretty. “Please don't scold me, now.”

You only curse and turned away. It was impossible to remain angry with Kaeya Alberich for too long.

✦—————————————✦

You used to think you were quite clever.

But honestly, only a fool would graduate from the Akademiya with honours and end up working as a cavalry knight in a city full of drunkards (imagine being in love with one, the horror! It could never be you), far away from home, devoid of any fresh spices save for some fucking snapdragon. And the cost of shipping actual spices? Veritable insanity! 450 Mora for just shipping the stuff you could buy for 120 back home?

And only an even bigger fool wouldn't check if the cavalry had any horses before signing up. Because it's stupid to expect the cavalry to own a horse or two, yes?

It never seemed to bother anyone but you. These madlads managed life without sumpter beasts and Tri-Lakshana Sigils.

Mondstadt City didn't even have any slopes, just stairs! What if someone used a wheelchair? What if someone was too goddamn lazy to climb up all those stairs??

You'd bitched about the infrastructure nonstop at first. Kaeya had only laughed. He had a pretty laugh. Everything he did was pretty. He was pretty.

You could feel your friends rolling their eyes at you.

You were often tempted to take their advice and confess your feelings to him. How embarrassing, to not leave a city purely because he occupied it? To smile because he smiled and grin because he looked content? You didn't even like skewers until he threw some at you. They tasted as zesty as he looked.

But confessing to your boss? Unprofessional. You weren't a coward, you were just married to your job! (A rather toxic relationship. You barely spent any time together.) Besides, imagine getting rejected. It could never be you. That would be almost as terrible as crying in front of everyone as an Akademiya professor tore your essay to shreds. In your first year. (Maybe Alhaitham was right and you really did need therapy.)

Speaking of your job, however-

“Captain, I'm going to Springvale. Old Finch-”

“Surely you don't mean to walk there.” His eyes widen in mock horror. “We don't even have any Tri-Lakshana Sigils!”

You roll your eyes. “Old Finch told me-”

“Finch? Who would name their only child Finch of all things? At least there are slopes in Springvale-”

You groan.

✦—————————————✦

Of course you didn't fucking walk to Springvale like a plebian. You begged Nantuck to row you there. Kaeya tagged along as well, but you didn't question why. You were one flirtatious answer from giving your crush away. Or one pretty, pretty smile. Or even just one Kaeya elegantly stepping out of the boat and holding out a hand to you.

“I'm good,” you mutter as you step off on your own. Kaeya chuckles.

“My, someone's in an especially terrible mood today. Did someone anger you? When are you telling me what you're here for on your day off, anyway?”

The audacity of this bitc-

“I tried,“ You scoff. “Someone kept interrupting me-”

“How uncouth of them.”

“You piece of-” you hurriedly bite back the insult. “I'm here because Old F- someone told me there's a group of whopperflowers on the cliffs behind the spring. I'll deal with them and meet up with you… where?”

“So eager to meet up with me, even on our days off,” he muses as you rolled your eyes. (Wasn't he the one who started harassing you? No matter. Any time spent with Kaeya was time well spent, in your opinion.) “Very well, then. I'll be at Brooke’s. It's a date.”

Your face flushes. What the fuck? “Don't wander off.” You sigh, hoping you don't look like you're on fire. I need to get out of here.

“That's all you'll say to me? Hey, at least say goodbye as you run off!”

✦—————————————✦

Goodbye, you think as you plummet off a cliff and to your death (you hope.) The whopperflowers had been endless and honestly you'd rather fight a Regisvine than a dozen of these overgrown mist flowers together on a goddamn cliff. You could see the light (probably the sun.) You could feel Alhaitham chuck your clown wig and clown nose at you (in spirit, of course, although him actually doing that wouldn't really surprise you.)

You could also feel your body jolt as the cold waters of the spring abruptly shock your system. You're not conscious enough to feel yourself sink, though.

✦—————————————✦

Were you to die, you wanted death to cradle you close, carry you off and gently lay you to rest on the sands or the grass, whichever you were in the mood for that day. And you didn't want it to be fucking bony and jostle you as it carried you, no matter how nice it smelled. You also didn't want it to be so goddamn damp, and the least it could do is magically stop your head from hurting, maybe hand you a towel and some warm soup-

“There you go,” you hear Kaeya softly murmur as he sets you down on some grass. You can hear Finch and Hopkins frantically calling for help. Warm hands securely wrap a blanket around you and start gently drying your hair.

I won't be able to go on that date, you think deliriously. The ensuing embarrassment is enough to make your eyes snap open.

You're on the grassy banks of the spring, wet and rather cold. Brooke is rubbing your arms through the blanket and- you crane your neck to see Kaeya gently drying your hair. He smiles when he sees you turn. He smiles very often. You wonder if this is one of those rare times when it's genuine.

“You never fail to surprise me,” he says fondly as he lets go of the towel and ruffles your hair. “Forever reaching for new heights of stupidity. What idiot runs off to kill a dozen cryo whopperflowers with a cryo vision?”

This bitch.

“I didn't know they were cryo,” you rasp. “Asshole.”

“Is this how you speak to your superiors?”

“You're not exactly supposed to ask your underlings on dates either.” Shit.

He grins at that (you should never have acknowledged the date, now he'd make you commit) and heaves an exaggerated sigh as he begins combing through your hair with his fingers. His nails gently scratch against your scalp. “Very well, dearest. No dates.”

Your dismay apparently shows on your face, because his grin only widens with delight. “Alright, one date, because you're pretty. And not today.”

Your face flushes. “It's not like I want one, anyway.” What do you mean, not today?

He shrugs. “Then you're welcome to walk away from rather delectable free meal. Brooke promised she'd give us only her best.”

As if you needed any additional motivation. “Fine, then. Only for the food.” When? The food sounded almost as good as Kaeya. “So. Er.” You cough. “When exactly are we…when are you taking me on that-?”

Kaeya laughs (asshole, you think affectionately) as you trail off with a flushed face. “Hey, since you're not so opposed to the idea,” he says “maybe you can stand me after all.”

Oh, Kaeya. Your face softens. “I've never disliked you, captain.” You have no need for insecurities. I know what you almost did to Collei. I know you have a complicated past.

I wish you'd tell me about it. Maybe one day you'd muster the courage to ask.

“Oh?” He tilts his head. A bead of water trickles off his hair, on his nose, then past his cheek. It catches on his jaw. You fight the urge to wipe it off. “So does this mean you like me, then?”

You blink rapidly, then turn away. “That's for you to find out.”

He smiles at you then, just a small smile. The sort of smile he gives stray cats when he thinks nobody is looking. The sort of smile he gives Klee when she shows him a drawing she made of them together. The sort of smile he gives Jean as he helps her home after a long day. Or the sort of smile he gives Lisa when she gently pats his shoulder and tells him to take care before she heads home.

“Like I said though, not today.” He boops your nose and stands up, holding out a hand to you. You take it this time. He doesn't let go even as you start to walk back towards Nantuck’s boat, and your heart joyously skips a few beats. You hope he can't feel your pulse through your intertwined fingers.

“You need to rest, and archons forbid you catch a cold. It's no fun without you around. I almost miss you, even. How about we reschedule that date for next Saturday, hm?”

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

I didn't originally plan on doing one for the others aside from Alastor and Vox, but fuck it, here it goes:

This one is for our traumatized duck king, Luci. Rate these ships, yk how it goes.

1. Lucifer × Charlie

2. Lucifer × Vaggie

3. Lucifer × Angel

4. Lucifer × Husk

5. Lucifer × Sir Pentios

6. Lucifer × Alastor

7. Lucifer × Rosie

8. Lucifer × Vox

9. Lucifer × Valentino

10. Lucifer × Velvette

11. Lucifer × Niffty

12. Lucifer × Asmodeus

13. Lucifer × Mammon

14. Lucifer × Beelzebub

15. Lucifer × Leviathan

16. Lucifer × Stolas

17. Lucifer × Blitz

18. Lucifer × Lilith

19. Lucifer × Rubber ducks

20. Lucifer × His cane

21. Lucifer × Alastor's cane (this has to be the funniest ship I've ever seen fanart of)

22. Lucifer × Vox × Valentino

23. Lucifer × Adam

24. Lucifer × Micheal

25. Lucifer × God

26. Lucifer × Sera

27. Lucifer × Emily

28. Lucifer × Mimzy

29. Vox × Alastor

30. Lucifer × Satan

Next up is either Angel or Husk

—Bird anon

"I'm even more traumatized now! Why are almost all of these either family or people I barely know?! I don't even know what to make of some of this!

Lucifer x Vox - I mean, this one is obviously the best.

Vox × Alastor - The rest of these make me uncomfortable in one way or another, so at least in this one, Vox is happy, even if they definitely need me in there, too.

Lucifer × Vox × Valentino - Uh, not a fan of this, honestly, but if it was the only way to be with Vox, I'd do it. But I would definitely be trying to convince him to leave Valentino the entire time!

Lucifer × Stolas - I've only met Prince Stolas a couple times, but he seems decent enough, and the idea of dating him is less weird than anyone else here.

Lucifer × Rubber Ducks - I can't say I really understand this one, but I guess that's better than disliking it.

Lucifer × His Cane - Yeah, I think I'm just gonna put the inanimate objects here to push some of these other names further down.

Lucifer × Alastor's Cane - What? Why is this even a thing?

Lucifer × Angel - Yep, and now we're to my daughter's friends, which is weird. I like Angel alright, but... not like that.

Lucifer × Husk - He's a perfectly fine demon, and I feel bad for him working for Alastor, but it's still weird to think about him like that.

Lucifer × Niffty - I'm putting her below the other two because she kind of scares me.

Lucifer × Sir Pentious - I barely met the guy, but he's a snake, so that's cool.

Lucifer × Rosie - Um, this is Alastor's cannibal friend, right? I've never met her, but Vox says she's nice.

Lucifer × Mimzy - Again, barely met her. But uh, wasn't exactly impressed.

Lucifer × Blitz - I have absolutely no idea who this is, but the rest of this list is absolutely horrible.

Lucifer × Velvette - Absolutely nothing against Velvette - she's a lovely girl, kind of - but she's a lesbian, so I feel weird ranking her anywhere on this list. Not to mention, how young she is, and she's Vox's best friend.

Lucifer × Alastor - Like I said, the rest of this list is horrible.

Lucifer × Lilith - It didn't work out so well the first time. I don't want to go back to that.

Lucifer × Valentino - Hell would have to freeze over.

Lucifer × Adam - Absolutely not.

Lucifer × Sera - Weird.

Lucifer × Emily - I've never actually met Emily before, but still weird.

Lucifer × Vaggie - My daughter's lesbian girlfriend? Seriously?

Lucifer × Asmodeus - The Sins are basically my siblings. This is so weird.

Lucifer × Beelzebub - I love Bee, but not like that!

Lucifer × Leviathan - And Lev's great, but again, is pretty much my brother.

Lucifer × Satan - Honestly, even if we weren't siblings. We butt heads too much.

Lucifer × Mammon - And same with Mammon.

Lucifer × Micheal - Great, now my actual bother.

Lucifer × Charlie - No! She's my daughter! This shouldn't be a thing!

Lucifer × God - And he's my father, and a terrible one, at that!

This list is disturbing."