#even if i got a bike around here i'd have to ride it on five lane roads and highways because the south is allergic to infrastructure

[draconicace]

aah!! aah!! anxiety spiral over cars. got too long with no paragraph breaks so it goes under a readmore. out of kindness

took a shower and then just sat there thinking about how much freedom i could have if i could drive and how to be able to drive. increasing my ankle stability so i don't lose control of my foot and die. improving my adhd so i don't get distracted by a butterfly or perhaps a playful bird and die. improving my autism so i don't get overwhelmed by sensory information and all the things i have to remember while driving so i don't have a panic attack and cause a ten-car pileup and die. improving my situational awareness so i don't kill someone and also die. going to the eye doctor to figure out why my vision's getting worse so i can read signs in the distance and see other cars so i don't kill someone or die or get arrested. finding an instructor who is kind and patient enough to teach a toddler who is terrified of scissors how to use them because the scissors are a deadly metal machine that kills multiple people every single day. that's where i'm at

[winniemaywebber]

The Apple Tree • part 2 🌳

2/7

read chapter one here

It's rainy in Thorpe Abbotts. Six planes go up, only five come back. Y/N worries about Rosie.

A familiar rumble distracts the class from their work, the scratching sound of pencils on paper ceasing almost immediately. Today, they had been sheltered from the graying drizzle of the village, much to their discernment. One look at their sad little faces pulled at your heartstrings, and the words “go on, then” had barely left your smiling mouth when they had all rushed to their cubbies to pull on their raincoats to protect themselves from the horrific weather. 

Six had gone up, according to the second teacher down the hall who had happened to be on a tea break when she saw the planes ascend. You hadn't told your class the number, not wanting to potentially make their miserable day worse. You wondered if the weather had affected anything - whether the thick, black clouds full of raucous thunder  had blocked their vision, the harsh wind causing them to break out of formation and bringing danger to themselves. And, in the back of your mind, you wondered about Rosie, hoping that he was safe.

It had been a couple of days since your last meeting, wherein you'd seen him taking a walk alone around Thorpe Abbotts, you spotting him as you rode home on your bike. You had waved nervously, precariously taking a hand off one of your handlebars to do so. Even from the opposite side of the road, you saw his face make a huge, beautiful smile, his baby blue eyes twinkling at the sight of you.

“Hi, Y/N. Wonderful to see you again.”

“Rosie,” you'd replied, your mouth also instantly bearing a grin at seeing him. “You, too. How was your weekend?”

“Ah, nothing special. I flew a practice mission, came back and wrote my mom. I try to keep her updated, she worries about me so, especially with me being so far away.”

“Oh, I understand. That's very sweet,” your heart melting at a man caring so much for his family. There is a pause as you keep smiling sweetly at one another, stuck for words due to being so excited at seeing each other again.

“So,” he breaks the silence. “Are you headed home?”

“Yes,” you sigh. “It's been a long day. It wasn't sunny enough to let the children play outside, and being cooped up drives them mad!” You laugh, hoping to diffuse the butterflies rising up in your stomach as he begins to offer to wheel your bike home so you can walk alongside him. 

“I can imagine!” He responds, once again smiling in your direction as his eyes dart around, trying to get his bearings. A crack of thunder from above distracts him, his shoulders sagging with a sigh. 

“We'd better hurry you home, ma'am.” 

Running through the rain, you arrive at the cottage quick as a flash. “Come in and warm up by the fire,” you shout over the loud pattering of raindrops on your slate doorstep, both of you sheltering under the front door canopy. 

“I'd love to, but I gotta get back to base. We have a briefing in the morning and I should get some rest.”

“Oh, of course. Well, thank you for walking me home again. You're great company.”

“You too, ma'am,” he smiles, exhaling through his nose with a slight giggle. “Are you doing anything Thursday afternoon?”

“No, I'm not,” you reply, the fastest answer that's ever left your lips. “I leave the school at around 2pm. You could meet me there? I could show you around a little. Bring your bike!”

“Oh, er–” he stutters, face turning red with embarrassment. “I haven't quite got to grips with that thing yet.” You try your best to stifle a giggle, shaking your head.

“I've heard you're the best pilot in the Army Air Force and you can't ride a bike?” You wink at him jokingly, his face now a cute shade of pink. 

“Leave me alone, Y/N,” he pokes at you, his face however, still holding that beautiful smile. 

“I'll teach you…if you'd like,” you say with a shrug. He nods, the color of his cheeks returning to normal. He reaches over and softly kisses your cheek, your hand coming up to touch it as soon as his lips break contact. 

“Miss, I saw five come back,” Penelope says in a small voice. “How many were there?” Feeling your heart jump to your throat and your breathing become ragged, you try your best to maintain composure. 

“I believe it was five, little one,” you respond, gritting your teeth into a reassuring smile. “Mrs Meldrum said five, but she was nose deep in the biscuit tin at the time. I'll ask her later, okay?” The wide eyed little girl nods and rushes back to her seat, pushing her round glasses up her nose as she sits down, once again ready to learn. 

Getting through the rest of the day without making your unease obvious is an arduous task. Every time you think of Rosie, you feel your heart almost stop, feeling like a phantom hand has its grip around it, crushing it bit by bit. You find yourself taking a moment while the children are distracted to place a hand on your chest, willing your breathing to return to its usual pace, arguing with yourself for feeling so anxious over somebody you've met only twice. 

To your surprise, you see your friend Sally outside as you corral the children out the door for home time, zipping coats and tying shoe laces as they rush out of the door into the cold drizzle. She's stood in a yellow rain coat, a black umbrella swaying slightly in the breeze.

“Sally?” You call. “Come in, doll.” A look of concern etched on your face, she runs in, dismantling her umbrella, a sob catching in her throat as she runs past you into the schoolroom. 

“Oh, Y/N,” she wails, her pretty face crumpled. Her eyes are squeezed shut, black inky trails from her mascara shooting down her face. “Only five–” she stutters, before taking a deep breath to try and compose herself. “Only five came back…and–and I don't know if James…”

“Hey, Sal,” you murmur, pulling her into a tight hug, her wet raincoat against your skin causing you to shiver suddenly. “It's all going to be okay, just–” you pause, a hand on her cheek now. “Just be patient. He'll be knocking on your door tomorrow.” She nods, a small sob escaping her lips as she wipes her eyes. You hand her a small white handkerchief, embroidered with your initials. This seems to make her cry all the more. 

“I still have the one your Granny made me,” she says as she dabs away the mascara lines. “Maybe I should start carrying it again.” You titter, exhaling as you do so. 

“She gave them to us when we were, what, six?” You look at Sally inquisitively, and she nods. “And she made us promise to always stay friends. I'm not sure why she thought matching handkerchiefs would cement that, but…”

“I'm glad we did, though,” she laughs, sniffing. 

“Me, too. Now, come on. You're about to freeze if we don't get you some place warm. I'll light the fire at home and you'll stay for dinner to take your mind off this.” You grip her softly by the shoulders. “He will be here tomorrow, okay?” But you're not quite sure who you're trying to reassure more: yourself or your best friend. 

A restless night awaits you, tossing and turning in your bed as the moonlight peeks through your thin curtains. All you can think about is if Rosie and James are safe, the weight of your thoughts crushing your chest with every attempted deep breath. You fall asleep just as the sun is rising, and you wake feeling horrific. You pad to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth, hoping going through your daily routine will bring some color back to your pale face and somehow, take your mind off things. 

It's only when you pull your bike from against the wall of the cottage that you realize it's finally stopped raining for the first time in three days. You breathe in the fresh air, hearing the soft breeze blow through the leaves on the tree outside your gate as your eyes close softly. “Y/N!” you hear a voice call from down the lane. There, in his uniform, looking a little battered, is James. As he approaches you, you see he has a small scratch above his eyebrow and another gash upon his cheek. 

“James!” You reply, extremely happy to see him. “You're here! Oh, Sally came to see me in such an awful state yesterday. We only saw five planes come back, and–”

“I'm headed there now,” he responds, interrupting your train of thought. He smiles brightly at you, and gives you a friendly wink. “Thank you for looking after her,” he says, softly. “I sure do hate worrying her but…it's just the way of the job.” 

“I understand, James. I know. She just has such a big heart.” You begin to wheel your bike down the lane towards the school, waving a goodbye to James and trying your best to avoid asking the one question that kept you up all night. The temptation, however, is too much and you stop in your tracks. 

“James?” You call after him. He turns but keeps walking, looking precariously behind him every few steps to avoid potholes and small ditches. “Is Rosie okay?”

“Finally!” He yells into the distance between you. “I was waiting for you to ask. He's fine, Y/N. Teach him how to ride that darn bike before he puts himself in the infirmary again!” 

The day passes in a blink, which you think is mostly in part of you wishing the day away. The children leave in a gaggle of excitement, looking forward to feeling the warm sun on their sweet faces as they begin their short walk home, playing together all the while. As they disperse, you look out of the bay window and spot someone under the apple tree, reading, their brow furrowed in concentration. “Rosie!” you squeal, swing open the door and run towards him as fast as you can. He spots you immediately and stands up, just in time for you to fling your arms around him without second guessing yourself.

“Well, hi,” He murmurs, his face buried in your neck. You breathe a huge sigh of relief into him, your eyes squeezed shut. 

“I didn't know if you were--oh, I was so worried about you,” you hold him a little tighter, wanting to make the embrace last a few moments more. “Oh, I'm so happy to see you, Rosie.”

“Likewise, Y/N,” he replies, reciprocating the tighter hug. You finally break apart, your hand finding its way to cup his cheek. 

“Now,” you sigh, finally content. “Tell me why you can't ride this bike.”

He demonstrates, looking a little embarrassed when you see him begin to try pedal backwards. 

“Hey, stop!” You call after him. “What are you doing?” 

“I'm trying to stop the thing,” he laughs, but obviously frustrated.

“Darling,” you reply, the word just spilling out of you. “These–” you gesture to the long buttons just off the handlebars, “--are for stopping.” He rolls his eyes jokingly, comically slapping a hand to his head. 

“Wow,” he says, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “I guess I can ride a bike. You really are a great teacher, Y/N. Those kids are lucky.” You shove at him playfully, laughing at his tone, until he grabs your hand. “Seriously…” he pauses, his thumb stroking the back of your hand. “You're wonderful.” 

Both balancing your bikes against the schoolhouse, you find yourselves under the apple tree, the sun just beginning to set. You had grabbed a spare blanket from the classroom, just in case the weather began to turn at a moment's notice which you knew was a terrible habit England possessed. Rosie places it around both of you and pulls you in close, your head resting on his shoulder. You close your eyes and exhale, contentedly, the rollercoaster of emotions from the past day finally leaving you in that breath, grateful and happy to have him here with you and safe for the time being. You reluctantly check your watch as he runs his fingers through your loose hair.

“You probably should get going,” you sigh, eyes a little sad. “It's late. I don't want you in trouble.” 

“I can handle it,” he says quietly, his whole body relaxing underneath you. “Just a few more minutes, please. I just want to be a guy, watching the sunset with a pretty girl on my arm.” 

chapter 3

masterlist

[skyechaser]

Bumbleby Bike Gang AU Part 1/?

The bar was usually quiet on tuesdays. Just the regulars showing up for their drinks and the eventual college idiots getting into shenanigans. Nothing seemed to indicate that this night was going to be any different. She couldn't be more wrong. Yang had owned the place, Ember, for about two years and she enjoyed her work a lot. She liked making drinks and talking to people. The blonde had some of the best stories to tell at parties and sometimes she could even give some well received advice.

It was almost two in the morning when she heard the roars. It was like a pack of wild bears was screaming directly into her ears. When they stopped they were replaced by voices. Then the door was thrown open and what could only be described as a gang entered her bar. There were around twenty five people, mostly men, in matching leather jackets. They all had the same logo on the back: the profile of a wolf like creature and the words "The White Fang".

I hope they don't cause me any trouble Yang thought to herself as they all sat sat down, making significant noise in the process. One of her waitresses, Nora, approached them to take their orders and the blonde held her breath, hoping the group would behave. After a couple of hours and many beers, the gang was starting to get on her nerves. Specially since some of them had made some stupid comments at Nora as she brought them their drinks. She had come pretty close to throwing them out but they were paying very good tips and her waitress said not to worry.

"I'm sorry for the disturbance" a soft voice said, very close to her. She turned her head to see a girl, around her own age, sitting in front of her. She had been so focused on the group she hadn't even noticed her approaching. She had amber eyes and black hair and something about her made it feel like they had already met.

"Its okay" a lie "I've had worst" a truth.

"Could I have a Coke, please?" the girl asked.

"Had enough to drink for the night?" Yang replied as she got what the other one requested.

"Oh, no" she replied "I don't drink" she smiled. Yang's heart skipped a beat. There was something about this girl but she couldn't wrap her finger around it yet.

"I'm Yang. What's your name?" she asked boldly.

"I'm Blake" the other one replied.

"How long have you been riding with these guys?"

"All my life" Blake answered "My parents founded the group"

"That's a long time to be on the road. Are they here?" Yang questioned as she looked at the clearly drunk group sitting not so far away from them.

"They left a while back" the black haired girl said, not understanding herself why she was telling her whole life story.

"And you stayed?"

"Yes"

Silence.

"They seem like an interesting group" Yang said, trying to break the tension.

"They can be... A lot to handle but I'm used to them by now"

"Excuse me if this offends you in any way but you do not seem like the biker gang type girl"

"None taken. I'm more low profile than the rest of our group. I'd rather stay and read a good book than get into trouble" Blake said.

"Any good reads you can recommend?" Yang asked and the other girl's eyes lit up like a child's in Christmas morning. They talked for what seemed hours about books, bar stories and family. Yang told her about her little sister Ruby and how she was studying to become a veterinarian. Blake, on the other hand, told her about all the places she had been in during her travels. Their conversation was cut short by the sound of breaking glass.

"I got it!" Nora said as she walked towards the table, her eyes visibly tired but her pockets full.

"Do they get into trouble often?" the blonde asked.

"It depends on Adam's mood mostly. He's our current leader"

"Blake!" a red haired man yelped drunkly "Come over here, love!"

"That's him. I gotta go. It was really nice talking to you, Yang" she smiled again and the blonde was finally able to realize what the deal was. She liked Blake. Everything about her was charming and enticing. It had been a while since she had liked someone so it didn't surprise her that she had missed the signs.

She watched Blake walking away and that's when she saw it. On her lower back she had a tattoo that read "Property of the White Fang".

Oh.

[inappropriate-aunt]

I get sooo scared when my dog barks. Like, it's so annoying that it's genuine fear and panic over something as mundane and expected as barking. But there's something broken in my brain and I can't handle loud noises.

I'm sitting out here on the porch wishing I were having some weed to be honest. Tomorrow will be two weeks off it. I'm wondering, do I keep going? Keep the streak up? See if I can handle the world so raw? I'm definitely twitchier. More prone to anxiety. Jumpy. Which is exactly what the weed is meant to treat, of course. But I always get a little afraid that it's making me forgetful, lowering my intelligence, making me lazy. Maybe that's just all the anti-drug propaganda bouncing around in my head from latent DARE assignments.

As if Officer Rides-A-Bike never smoked a joint. Give me a break.

Honestly I'd like to try shrooms. I hear they do good things for jumpstarting your brain out of a depressive funk. But you know me, and I don't want to do it alone. I want it to be a group activity. And everyone is always so busy. I wish we weren't. I wish we worked three days a week and saw our friends and family the other days.

I'm slowly feeling more like myself but I wonder for how much longer? The days are growing shorter. I worry. My coworker and friend says that it's the worrying that will kill us, the stress. People who don't care about the world, they don't worry, they don't stress, so they live years and years past when we expect them to. No matter how much cocaine and soda and red meat they consume.

I wish I had the capacity not to care, but then I wouldn't be ME. I care so much. I worry so much. I want to take away the troubles of the people I love. But I feel so powerless. I'm not rich. And I'm not a good enough liar to become rich. I can't even go to a bowling alley without getting overwhelmed by sounds.

I was sitting out here wishing I had a drink because I got thirsty, and then I remembered that I stashed a caprisun in my side table for just such an occasion. When I was a kid my mom wouldn't let me have caprisun because 'sugary drinks will make you fat'. But somewhere along the way in my late twenties after I thought I had already recovered from my eating disorder I realized I could mentally drink things with calories again and that was when I started buying caprisun. They're delicious. Everything I ever wanted as a kid. Now if only yoohoo made something dairy free I could digest it.

Mom didn't let me have anything with calories except skim milk and... maybe diet Snapple? I think that had like five calories? Anyway, now she buys me caprisun sometime when she finds it on sale. And ice cream. I think it's her way of trying to apologize for contributing to me getting an eating disorder. I don't blame her, but she did contribute to it. I'm not mad at her, though. It was a lot of things that did it. My sister isn't handling it as well. She lashes out a lot. I worry about her. I wonder how long it will be until she addresses how she really feels.

God, but when she does I also know she's going to be so annoying about her newfound realizations. But I'll be patient. I know we're all annoying when we figure ourselves out. Or think we have, at least. I am, definitely.

I want to go tour a chocolate factory. I want to blow up a weapons factory. I want to jump on a trampoline and lay in a hammock.

[the-fiction-witch]

I Want You

Media IRL

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating Sexy

Concept I want you-

I sat scrolling away as I often did seeing the pictures across my phone, they made my blood boil just looking at them. After a while of creeping on the pictures and videos, zooming in on every inch and every bit of information I could get from them I'd had enough stewing. Time to take action!

I got up and threw my phone in my backpack I slipped on my boots and my jacket throwing my bag over my back as I grabbed my keys and helmet. I locked up the little house and went to my darling sitting in the driver way "hello baby" I smiled giving my bike a hug before climbing on and starting him up so he could heat up as I got my helmet and gloves on making sure everything was as it should be. Once sorted I put my side stand up and backed off my driveway and began scampering around the busy London streets on my bike make sure to be quick but not speed. I'd gotten into enough trouble about that lately. I didn't need gps or signs as I knew the way like the back of my hand heading across London to the little house by the park. I sat my bike on the parking bag across from his little white house beside the small green Citroen he had been lovingly restoring currently it under its tarp but I mean… it's a pretty obvious car. I hopped off and across the road meerly jumping the wall instead of using his stupid stiff gate. Slipping off my helmet as I went, I didn't even need to knock as the door was open so I went in and kicked off my boots leaving my helmet, bag and gloves on the bottom of his stairs heading thought the living room, across the kitchen and put the back door into the garden using the stones to walk as I had taken off my boots. The little sheds door was open revealing him sat on his red stool doing some tinkering on his bench. "Thomas!" I yelled making him jump out of his skin clutching his chest in shock in his old faded triumph shirt turning to me very angrily

"Fuck! Y/n! You almost made me fucking shit myself!" He complained "when did you get here?"

"Five seconds ago"

"H-how'd you get in?"

"Your front doors unlocked"

"An unlocked door doesn't mean you can just come in y/n. You could have texted me or something atleast so I knew you where coming holy fuck-" he complained Still getting his breath back "what do you even want anyway? Other then to give me heart problems. Surely you didn't ride all the way over here for a cupcake and coffee"

"No I didn't. But How'd you know I rode here?"

"Your wearing your bike jeans and you smell like your engine"

"Fine I do want something"

"Alright" he sighed rubbing his face "what is it?"

"I want you" I told him

His eyes went wide, his eyebrows raised, his breaths stopped completely for a few seconds before returning to the pace when I made him jump, he audibly gulped. "Wha- what uhh what did you say?"

"I want you" I repeated

"Yeah I thought that's what you said." He gulped "why me, specifically?"

"I need your hands, your tools, your abilities, the knowledge only you possess. It has to be you Thomas"

He turned bring red in the cheeks before At Last he spoke up "really?"

"Really" I nodded

"Okay!" He yelped excitedly "shall we go inside or you that desperate you need me right here?"

"Here so we don't make mess?"

"Really? Ummmm you dirty girl" he Cooes

Before I could protest he undid his jeans and tugged me into his lap

"Ahhh! Thomas!"

"What? Your the one screaming about how bad you want me" he smirked trying to kiss me

"Thomas!" I complained pushing him away but remaining in his lap "I want you, to build me a bike"

"what?"

"I need you to use your skills, and tools and hands to build me a custom bike. Like you did for Jack"

".....oh" he sighed now clearly awkward and embarrassed "...well, now I feel silly" 

"You really thought I rode all the way over here to have sex with you?"

"I don't know, you might have" he shrugs

"You think your dicks pretty fantastic don't you?"

"I try to have confidence" 

"Yeah there's confidence Thomas and there's pure delusion" I laughed and then I noticed "You got prepared really quickly" 

"he saw opportunity. he got excited." 

"so will you build me a custom like you did for jack?"

"I don't know y/n its a lot of time, and money, and effort." 

"Please"

"I really can't its a lot of time, a lot of effort, and travel for you back and forth"

for a moment I rolled my eyes "Pretty please tommy" I cooed stroking down from his shoulders and his chest pouting slightly and giving his nose a kiss 

"Uuhh okay" he gave in "but your helping me every step okay you need to be involved I'm not making these decisions without you" 

"That's perfect" I smiled "Will you give me little invoices? or do I just like pay you for parts?"

"Well, paying for parts, we decide what you need and you order it to here."

"Okay what about your services?"

"Well... I am happy to be paid in favours?"

"What sort of favours?" I asked 

His answer was to simply pull me closer to him and nuzzle himself in my neck 

"Ohh? really?"

"Really."

"Fine" I smiled "You want a payment upfront?"

"Yes please" 

"Alright you go sort the bed I'll lock the door"

"Yes! I'll be waiting princess" He smiled giving my lips a kiss before he pushed me off his lap onto the floor and he bolted inside 

[paigedarling0506]

Ephemeral: Chapter 01

Old Hiking Place

*.☽.*

THREE TWENTY-FIVE.

It was a perfect, late summer afternoon.

I was leisurely riding my bike on the outskirts of the town while admiring the trees that stood on either side of the road that served as the entrance to the woods. Since the road was empty of other vehicles and also due to my confident balancing skills, I closed my eyes as I pedaled. While I did this, I could feel the cool breeze brushing my face, the friendly little wind making my hair dance along with it. I love moments like this.

I was in my mom's hometown and couldn't help but fall in love with it. This was where she grew up and I had a lot of memories here as a child. However, when I turned fifteen, my father's job was relocated to Australia. Our family composed of my dad, mom, and an older sister, moved there.

I resumed and finished my studies in Australia. I took up Interior Design and immediately landed a good job. However, after a couple of years, I decided to quit telling my parents that everything was a bit too fast for me. I didn't have enough time to even take a good, deep breath and I somehow knew that if I didn't do this now, I wouldn't have the chance to enjoy my life anymore. I told my parents that I wanted to take a break and go back to South Korea in the meantime. They didn't like the idea of course but I was able to save quite enough and made sure that I wouldn't even bother asking them for help. Well, edit the drama out, they eventually allowed their youngest daughter.

That's why at twenty-eight, I was finally back at my favorite place in South Korea. It had been three months since I came back and I couldn't ask for anything else. It's your typical Korean countryside. Unlike the frenzy-filled cities, I just love how it was so quiet down here and how less crowded the public places were. The people were quite approachable too.

I lived with Aunt Sunny and her husband Uncle Jin Woo with their thirteen-year-old, middle schooler daughter, Jihye. Aunt Sunny's my mom's younger sister and the one managing a flower shop called Areumdaun which was passed down to her by my grandmother. The flower shop had been here for about thirty-five years and being in a small town, it's quite famous around here. Uncle Jin Woo's a famous mechanic in town who ran his shop as well. He's a quiet type but kind nonetheless. My cousin Ji Hye's your cute, typical teenager. She's sweet and smart.

I liked staying and spending time with them. They treat me like I was truly a part of their family. I also enjoy helping my aunt out at the flower shop. However, from time to time like right now, I ask for her permission to go to the old hiking place which was thirty-five minutes away from the town center. Well, it was obvious that she was hesitant to allow me at first, probably afraid that I might get lost or something. Assuring her that I would be careful, she eventually gave in.

*.☽.*

I stopped cycling when I saw the familiar trail on the right side of the isolated road. There was a small cleared area that served as the entrance to what it used to be. On the left side was old signage with faded, unreadable letters that I didn't bother figuring out anymore. I climbed down my bike as I walked entering the forest. Since I was prepared for the hike, I just wore a comfortable loose, white T-shirt paired with jeans and black sneakers.

It was my fourth time coming here since I arrived. I remembered my mom taking me and my sister here for a hike when we were young. I thought I remembered everything perfectly but then was proven wrong when it took me about two hours and a half to get to the place the first time I got here. Of course, I blamed it on my direction-challenged self which I intentionally hid from my aunt. The place changed a lot and I hardly recognized it. The trails were not that neat anymore but they were still there. I needed them to be visible or else I'd get lost every time.

*.☽.*

I followed the trails for about twenty minutes and since it was a little bit uphill now, my bike started to trouble me. I decided to leave it where I normally left it, next to this particular tree.

"Wait for me here, hm?" I told my bike as I took my phone out. I put my playlist and earphones on before I continued hiking.

I looked around and all I could see are the tall trees. Since it was late summer, the leaves would change soon and I couldn't wait for it. I imagined the mountains looking perfect, all dressed in autumn colors. About another twenty minutes later, I could finally see my favorite spot from where I stood. I just needed to hike a little more to have access to its breathtaking view. As expected, I was catching my breath when I reached the top as I took in the familiar view that I came here for.

I was on top of the mountain. It was a flattened area that was surrounded by rock formations. The mountain was not that high unlike the others but it was high enough to serve a wonderful view of the town. A few meters away from the edge was a big tree. It stood alone and majestic on the right side where it was situated perfectly in my opinion. There were about four big rocks scattered all over the place that probably used to serve as seats for the hikers. Right next to my left was a giant rock formation that was blocking my view of the other side of the area.

I was about to step further when I suddenly noticed something different. I heard movements, which I found odd. I was used to being up here all alone since not a lot of people knew or maybe had forgotten about this place already. I had this weird feeling that there was someone else here or could it be something else? Holding my breath, I remained glued to where I was standing as I grew wary of my surroundings. I started to feel scared, imagining some grizzly bear ready to attack me. Then I finally saw someone emerge from the other part of the giant rock formation.

It was a man.

My heart almost skipped a beat. Honestly, I wasn't certain if I was relieved to see a man instead of a wild animal. Biting my lower lip, I automatically made a few steps back. I watched him as he walked towards the edge. I couldn't see his face because of the distance between us but from where I stood, he appeared to be lean, tall but not towering. He was wearing a navy blue jacket, which I instantly didn't approve of because it was still a little bit hot, a pair of blue jeans, and some decent sneakers. He also had a black bucket hat on making it impossible for me to get a glance at his face.

He paused when he was about a few feet away from the edge. For some reason, I grew anxious as I watched him step forward once more. I also suddenly felt like an intruder. Like, I wasn't supposed to be here, my eyes watching his every move. A small gasp escaped my mouth when I realized what he was about to do.

"Oh god...no. Is he jumping?" I muttered unconsciously rattling.

I watched how he lifted his hands sideways as he spread them as if he was indeed ready to jump. No no no, I need to do something, I need to stop him. I can't witness someone's death like this. Panicking, I looked around to find something that could be of help but there was none. I wiped my clammy hands on my jeans as I forced my brain to come up with something. There were small rocks but it would be awkward if I threw rocks at him, right? I was starting to get scared. I couldn't stand the sight of someone jumping off the cliff. I bit my lower lip and momentarily closed my eyes as I continued to think hard. Nothing, I exhaled sharply. My attention was glued to the slight movement of his feet. Feeling like there was absolutely nothing else that I could do, I shouted.

"Hey!" I don't know how loud it was since I still had my earphones on. He must have heard me though because the next thing, he turned around and looked my way. Two seconds, there were about two seconds of silence between us as facing each other. However, due to his black bucket hat, there was no way I could tell if he was alarmed or what. Though, I must have caught him off guard. He froze. Then, without having any second thoughts, I started to run to him. When I was a few feet away from him, he stretched an arm toward me as if trying to signal me to stop. I ignored him, I wouldn't let him distract me. I even refused to look away for one bit, scared that he'd jump off immediately. He seemed to panic as I ran closer to him. He made a few steps back, seemingly unaware of how close he was to the edge. My breath hitched as I ran faster. The next second later, I saw how he made another move backward, making him lose his balance. Oh god, he's going to fall. I swear, I almost had a mini heart attack.

"NO!" I yelled as I stretched my hand to desperately reach for his.

Thank heavens.

Fortunately, I was able to grab him by the hand. Then, used every ounce of energy I had to pull him back up. Maybe it was an adrenaline rush or something that I was able to carry his whole weight by grabbing him back. However, it must have been too much as I ended up dragging us both to the ground. I was already anticipating my body to land on the ground if not for his fast reflex. He unexpectedly spun me around, so his body hit the ground first instead. I ended up landing on top of him, my face instantly crashed against his neck. I felt my forehead touching something soft which I immediately assumed to be his lips. I could also feel my detached earphones between our bodies which also kind of hurt. A few seconds later while I still had my eyes closed, I heard him groan under me. That must've hurt. I thought for a moment before the realization that I was on top of him hit me. My body automatically jerked as I tried to get up when I accidentally hit him somewhere down his lower body, causing him to his in pain.

"Oh my god," I uttered. My brain both lagged for a second. "I'm s-sorry. I d-didn't mean...to..." I stuttered, apologizing. I watched him and my eyes grew wide realizing where I hit him. My face grew warm and the urge to cover my face was strong. Setting my embarrassment aside, I bent my knees next to him. Oh god, of all the parts of his body...I just had to kick... Not knowing what to do exactly, I felt helpless. I couldn't even touch him because that felt so wrong in so many ways after what I had just done. I sighed, biting my lip as I grew more anxious. I saw how his body curled as he obviously suffered from my unintentional act. My attention traveled to his hands that were in between his legs. I was about to open my mouth and apologize once more when he finally spoke.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?" He growled, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"No," I held my breath. "I w-was trying to save you...actually," I replied stuttering, still shocked due to the volume of his voice.

"Save me from what?!" He yelled once more as he suddenly sat up, his eyes piercing through mine.

We were suddenly face to face and I had to hold my breath for the nth time.

This time his hat was taken off and I had full access to his face.

"OH, MY GOD!" I gasped, my hand covering my mouth. *.☽.*

[femcharlemagne]

psychosexual weekend

okay so. context for the psychosexual weekend (aka: two days of gnawing and waiting). i think i've told this story on here but basically a long-standing colleague of mine (we did the same bachelor but with different curricula starting in the same semester almost 4 years ago) replied to an insta story of mine - a selfie - telling me "oh i wouldn't have had a chance because i am not a medieval philologist but can i tell you i am sad that you're not straight". i know. poor choice of words but still. this happened in october. and i don't know why, maybe it's because he's cute and i found him cute subconsciously even back in the day, i was like okay, let's give him the time of day. and during my six months abroad i kept this in the back of my head and we chatted occasionally, and i kept thinking about it even as i got back from erasmus... so i waited for the right occasion and when he posted a story on instagram i replied to it, had a chat, and then nonchalantly told him that if he was ever to happen by the university he should come say hi. and five days later he comes saying hi :)

yes i do realize this is more of a diary entry but i feel like writing this down and WHAT BETTER PLACE than tumblr? so. we meet in university (had a cry in the morning over bureaucratic matters, started solving some problems with my dad, did some laundry and then he texts me over instagram asking if i was in uni that day. i zoom out the door because. you never know how long people intend to pop by for). and we clearly avoid all my friends and acquaintances and we start talking, then we take a walk and we kept on talking, even as we got to a small park in the vicinity of my uni and well there's that whole can can of getting closer, casual touching, making fun of each other, and then finally we do make out (thank god). i thought for a moment that he was looking for something serious but he meant the opposite sooo. amazing! i felt guilty in the beginning because of how things are with l., but he's away in another city and we've already established we're not boyfriend and girlfriend because the situation is just too uncertain to still hang on to labels like that, so we go off our feelings towards one another and meeting whenever we can. which isn't often. so instead of feeling like i owe him something i decided i want to live my life without minding absences too much. it's not like i won't feel the same towards him even with this... thing potentially going on.

but i felt alive in that moment! we kept on walking around and he really was ...fired up, which was extremely difficult to resist BUT i managed. at one point he even lifted me up from the ground, and my brain just went *modem noise*. we kept talking and making out and eventually we decided to go to his house by motorcycle, he would get the car and take me home (since he was already going in a neighborhood close to mine). and so we walked back to his bike (which was parked in the uni's parking lot). unfortunately some of my acquaintances saw me and him together and i hoooooooopeeeeee nobody is going to comment on that because it's something we'd both like to keep under the radar. but i digress.

the ride was exhilarating! i'd never been on a motorcycle before! the wind, the sun, and holding onto someone you desire and whom desires YOU... we eventually agreed on meeting again on monday morning and i tell you the wait was already excruciating when we were still together. it took every ounce of my willpower not to find a secluded place to... you know, in his car 😳but there's no one at his house on monday morning so... best to wait. being wanted really is a high. and this is it ladies and guys i can't wait for monday to come so i *** ****** :)

[wherevermybiketakesme]

One windy August evening, in the city surrounded by hills, I sat alone in the dining area of a convenience store with my laptop. I wanted to write to please one: myself (courtesy of Kurt Vonnegut). It's been quite a while.

Where should I start? Maybe by noting that it's almost five years since I posted an entry here. This is to also check in that I'm still alive and still riding bikes. It's been a long way since that last social ride with KPXI.

Speaking of KPXI, I'm still a member of the group chat even though I no longer join their social rides. I've sold Xena, the Xtrada 6, 3 years ago. I'm riding Cervelo Caledonia as of late. Yes, a road bike.

There's a word in Sundanese language: waas. Closest thing to that in English would probably bittersweet. It's the feeling I feel whenever I pause and have a look back to the first time I rode bikes, the time with Titi and then eventually Xena, my first MTBs, the instruments of adventure.

I feel a lot of waas whenever I read past entries in my journal, especially about the dreams of going on a big ride.

Because now I can write that dreams come true. They do, eventually.

It began with BUCC 300 in 2020, part of Audax Indonesia's series of BRM. It's a 300km ride with a time limit of 20 hours. When I heard that the start would be from Bandung, I wanted to sign up. I didn't care if I had to go with my mountain bike, I wanted that adventure. Covid hit and the event was postponed to August in the same year. By that time, V, having caught bike fever like everybody else, just purchased a steel Marin gravel bike. I rode my first 200km ride on that bike in preparation for BUCC. On the evening of August 15, 2020 - an evening like this one - at around 10 PM, I completed my first 300km ride in the elapsed time of 17.5 hours.

Most of the time, we think we know what we want. And there are times, upon getting what we think we want, we discover that it's not actually what we want all along, which could be hurtful. Fortunately, it's the opposite case for this wanting to go on big rides. I discover, time and time, that this is what I want. It's what I'm drawn into, ever since the beginning.

In the gap of five years between the last post and this one, I've completed big rides. I've had adventures. Epic, exciting adventures. In the process I learned how to fix a flat. I've overcome the fear of riding alone in the dark. I learned how to listen to the signals my body emits during rides. I've met people and made friends. I led women-only rides, like how I used to dream about when I started cycling. I won races. All the while, I got to discover many beautiful places. I saw the caldera in Bromo Tengger Semeru National Park. A wild owl gliding into the night in Ambarawa. A shooting star while I passed through Sancang Nature Reserve. I got to high places like Dieng, Tawangmangu, Ijen. I saw million different shapes of clouds and the striking colors of the sky during sunrise and sunset. I was out riding under the scorching Flores sun. I came down from Cemorosewu around midnight when it was 4 degrees Celcius. Many times I cried tears of joy and sorrow. Once, I was attacked by a stranger. Most of the time, I received help from strangers. Not to mention many other mundane, beautiful moments I got to experience while I was on the saddle.

It's hard to look back at that and not feel immense gratitude.

At the end of every big important ride, V is always keen to remind me that it's not the size of the ride that matters. She told me she's proud of me doing all this but she's not interested in numbers. It doesn't matter to her whether I win or lose. "It's how much these experiences transform you into a better person as a whole, not just as a cyclist," she said to me.

How much I hope that it's true.

And I guess that's what I'd like to let out for now.

Bandung, August 28, 2024, 19:36

[mygainyear2024]

Day 81 Camel

After waking up at 5.50am to sit on a higher dune to watch the sunrise at 6.12am (Rose complained we got up way too early, but I just did what the staff suggested, perhaps they thought I'd have a shower or something!) with sand blowing at us sideways, we now have the pièce de résistance. We see the camels and the shepherd coming over the dunes and we quickly asked for help to put on our head scarves.

It was a small challenge for me to get that leg over and the ascent from the ground was quite the experience (as was the descent later). We were off in no time and I hadn't anticipated the challenges - trying to keep my shoes from coming off, taking photos while needing to hold on (as there was quite the difference between hard and soft sand without warning) and within five minutes the scarf came off, so I was also trying to cover the right hand side of my face to protect my ears, eyes and mouth from taking on board too much sand and still take in the magnificent views, and occasionally the need to adjust my seat, as I think my saddle was on a lean!

After the exhilaration of an hour plus camel ride, and like my first hammam in Istanbul, I don't think I need to repeat it, the rest of the day was spent in the local area exploring. First stop some small farming plots (dates, figs, sprouts etc). Some primary school aged children wanted us to try the small unripened figs!

Next stop to see where the nomads live, although they are not nomadic anymore, as tourism provides resources for them they've decided to stay put. The family Mustafa usually visits is most likely away for Eid, so we just have a look around their camp site. A stop at a fossil mining area. Mustafa explains it used to be mined for mascara (he shows me samples in a bottle, it looks more like black sand than mascara and I question whether he means eye liner or if it's mixed with water?), and now the site is mined for a substance I can't remember the name of that makes glass!

Next stop a Berber "depot" to look at some more carpets. Rose finds one she likes for the hallway. It's this salesman who says my carpet is not made with natural dyes, and it's cactus silk? I said I would have a chat with Mustafa about this and he asked me not to say anything as it would cause issues! Hmmm. I did say something to Mustafa and he absolutely avoided my question. Rose also learnt from her love interest, Hassan, that Mustafa would probably get 50% of the sale price. Rose is very upset that the money is not going to the Berber woman who made the carpet. And I absolutely empathise with her. But I understood this was all a possibility and that I paid too much for my carpet, but I could have done some more research and started at a much lower price. At the end of the day, it's an experience, and I won't forget where I purchased it, and meeting the 95 year old grandmother who doesn't like her picture taken. For those who are interested in buying a carpet made by women in Morocco, where the money goes to the women, don't worry I have a legitimate solution which I will post about in day 83! And there's even an online option!

We are in the car of a friend of Mustafa’s today so we can go off-road. Except it’s not registered for tourism and at one point we swerve suddenly to take a different road to avoid the police, who are everywhere! Mustafa has been constantly using his phone while driving and on enquiry it is also illegal here to be using your phone while driving! As well it’s illegal to ride a bike without a helmet, but so many do, even with kids. I did see one motor cyclist pulled over by police, so hopefully in time things will change, as Mustafa confirmed my suspicions that road accidents are high.

Next stop to listen to music played by "black" Africans, as Mustafa describes them. And then onto the eagerly awaited Berber pita, that Mustafa mentioned on day 1. Mine is chicken or turkey, but to be honest, it was a little oily and I preferred the sauce and rice that came as a starter.

Rose was quite unwell today, we stopped at a pharmacy and we were able to buy antibiotics and cough medicine and all Rose wants for lunch is avocado on rye with lemon and salt and pepper. Mustafa did try and find us an avocado (we actually received a plate in our room of 2 apples, 2 oranges and 2 avocados at the riad on the first night, so it wasn't an impossibility). Second choice is french fries! They don't usually serve french fries, but Mustafa has organised for her to have some. They are a long time coming, and she is impressed they are hand cut!

Mustafa keeps calling Rose "cheeky", I think he means "spoilt", as the day before he was describing these kind of characteristics to me. Perhaps compared to Muslim children Rose is spoilt, but she is definitely sick and was a real trooper managing the heat and being upright for so long.

We are dropped off at the most beautiful Riad Chebbi, opposite the highest dune, at 170 metres. It can be climbed, and under cooler circumstances I might have given it a go. Time to wash all the sand away and then we sleep until dinner. That rosé purchased yesterday was ok when first opened (it's not from the vineyard I was hoping to visit either), but not so good having been in a very hot car for most of today!

[littlemissmanga]

OMG this is fun!

*Takes out notes* Ok, I'm ready ....

Rex is rocking up to the social in the community gym in a letterman jacket- or bomber jacket - and slacks with his nice shoes on, aviators. Still got the buzz cut. Very All American boy next store vibes from him. He wouldn't have been part of any gangs but he'd look like a Socs (gotta have an Outsiders reference in here, ya know?).

I put Kix in this category as well in terms of his vibe for a free evening, but he'd be a little more dapper than Rex - a sports coat/suit jacket over a long sleeve button up. Kix helps give his brother a little push, then they're both swinging dance partners around the floor.

Jesse is your down home Levi's guy - worn in jeans and work boots and a plain but nice button up. He rides his truck to the drive-in with his S/O in the passenger seat. And he's well prepared, too - got blankets for the bed and everything so they'll be nice and cozy.

Also in this category: Hunter, but he'd have a bike so he and his date would grab some grub from a Soda and park by the picnic benches.

Echo is straight up early Elvis - a little more buttoned up and dapper than Rex or Jesse. He absolutely slicks his hair back but not too much. He'll take a date to the local diner before going to a movie or concert. (Take nerves out of the equation. Echo is a confident guy who knows his self worth and he gives an air of bougie-ness so I really see him as pretty suave when he wants to be).

Tech is a little more casual, but same vibes. As much as I wanna put him in a sweater vest and tweed jacket, his fashion choices in canon made me think those options are unlikely. He'd also be just as likely to be taking a date to a museum instead and then after going out for ice cream to discuss what they saw.

Speaking of tweed, that would be Dogma. As straight edge as they come and he likes the neat and put together look. His idea of a great night is listening to new records at home so he and his date can talk through them. He'd go super slow, though. Like, would want to give them a pin and everything.

Fives is a greaser through and through. Black T-shirt, dark jeans, leather jacket, thick boots, greased hair. And he makes it look good. Every chance he gets, he's going to try and get on American Bandstand. And he's good enough to get on pretty consistently. He's got the moves and the flash to get noticed, especially since he dances swing and relies on making his partner look great (cause he kinda has two left feet since he trips so much canonically).

Also in this category: Crosshair, but no American Bandstand lol. Cross is a true loner, very James Dean. He will wander into whatever greasy spoon is open late and night for a cola and some fries. And if he ends up chatting up the lone employee behind the counter - and showing up most nights to make sure they close up without issue from any customers - well, no one but the two of them will ever know about it.

Hardcase is what I'll affectionately dub a "Sandlot" kid. Not that he'd necessarily play spots as an adult, but he was one of those kids running around in the fields a lot and getting into wholesome trouble. Older, he'll likely be working as a soda jerk and giving free milkshakes to anyone sitting by themselves at the counter who catches his eye.

Also in this category I'd put Wrecker. IDK if he figured out Crosshair's secret or if it was pure coincidence but once he knew he had to keep going with Crosshair if only to bug him. (rewatching the Batch arc in TCW, you can really see how much Wrecker loved teasing Cross). But he'll only interfere for so long before he a) gets hungry and b) decides to buy a shake for someone across the store sitting by themselves. Oh, there are two straws?? Well, can't let one go unused, now can he?

I really have no idea where to put Tup, so I'll leave that for @deejadabbles, resident Tup expert.

Them Clones in 50-60's get up doing boogie and jive. Who be Elvis?

Who be slicking their hair back in leather? Who be at the bar buying birds milkshakes? Who be coming up in a Cadillac making them girls scream? Who be doing that King Cry baby scene in Cry Baby (Johnny Depp)? Want dapper men and bad boys.

Need answers. @blueink-bluesoul @wolffegirlsunite @idontgetanysleep @littlemissmanga @sunshinesdaydream @commander-sunshine @kimiheartblade @cloneloverrrrr @wings-and-beskar

Please punch me if I missed anyone <: Ooh and feel free to self-insert your ocs ♥

[dreadsuitsamus]

Endless | Sasuke Uchiha & Reader |

author's note: i couldn't really tell you why i wrote this. it's not a reader insert quite like you'd expect, as the itachi x reader portion is in the background. this story focuses on sasuke himself a lot

pairing: sasuke & fem!reader (not romantic) itachi x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of death, angst, some comfort

It's dark and cold as you sit perched in a tree, eyes closed as you wait for a particular chakra signature. You'd retired from shinobi life sometime ago, but after mastering your craft it was like getting back on a bike and riding into the sunset. You wear the headband of your deceased lover as you wait, the line crossed through the leaf symbol almost perfectly.

It gets colder soon and not from the wind, but from the person you're looking for. Your eyes fly open and you descend from the tree and into his path, staring at him impassively. He's got a snarl on his lips and you know he's far gone enough to try to kill you on sight, but Uchiha Sasuke will have to work hard to slay Uchiha Itachi's widow.

"Move." He warns once in that low voice. You can't help but admire how much he looks like Itachi. But where Itachi had a calm presence and was easily a wolf in an Akatsuki cloak, Sasuke didn't care to try and hide just how powerful and dangerous he was.

"Let's talk, Sasuke." You say calmly. "Believe me, I'm not here to fight."

Those dark eyes narrow. What a fool he is to think he wouldn't need his Sharingan to take you down, you think. Even Itachi had to use everything his eyes had to best you during your first encounter, and even then you pinned him with a kunai at his throat and his chakra drained from his body. The memory makes you smile to yourself before gazing back at your young brother-in-law.

"I don't have time to talk." He says, eyeing your headband. You seem like you want to stop him, but you're wearing that rogue ninja headband… And it looks awfully familiar.

"If I have to wear you out before we talk, then so be it. I bested Itachi once; and I can beat you too."

Sasuke falters at that. So it is his brother's headband. He grinds his teeth together, "And I killed Itachi."

In the back of your mind, there's a terrible laugh. To provoke that bear in front of you or not was the question. You know he's young, you believe him to be around seventeen, but at the same time would it be fair to allow him to think he killed your love? Could he truly live with that blood on his hands?

"Hmm." You cock your head to the side. "You're confident."

"Enough." Sasuke's sword is in hand and his eyes burn red. You sigh and shake your head. "You Uchiha men are so difficult."

There's a pause in Sasuke's movements. Why did you say that so fondly?

"Who are you?" He asks blankly.

"I'm the one that kept Itachi alive long enough to face you. I'm also your sister-in-law, if that matters to you."

That gets him. His eyes are wide and his grip loosens on his sword. You fight back your urge to laugh at the poor boy; you know he never would've expected that answer from you.

"How…"

"I met him when he was first getting sick. He placed me under his genjutsu, but found out the hard way it doesn't work on me."

Sasuke still stands dumbfounded before you, and this time you can't help the small chuckle you give. "Sasuke, it's… Nice to finally meet you. Itachi spoke so highly of you and I'd always wanted to get the chance to see you."

Sasuke snaps back to himself. "Even if you are who you say you are, I don't have time for this."

You sigh internally. You knew he'd say that. "I think you should make time. I want to tell you about him as he was when I knew him."

"You expect me to believe you knew him?"

"I'm wearing his headband, his ring…" You take a deep breath. "If you'll just listen to me, I'll prove it to you."

"Five minutes." Sasuke mutters, his eyes on the ground. You hop back into the tree you were in, and Sasuke follows your lead and sits beside you. His chakra is so cold and your heart breaks at the thought of all he went through to get to this point. Part of you is angry at Itachi for his part in Sasuke's trauma; but you could never be more upset with Itachi than he was at himself.

"I met him around five years ago. We were both eighteen and we had a helluva battle." You laugh softly. "If he wasn't so handsome I may have tried to kill him."

Sasuke scoffs. "You, killing my brother?"

You snort. "You don't know my jutsu or my clan, kiddo. Don't try and find out either, unless you don't wanna move for a few hours."

"You did that to my brother and he married you?" Sasuke's voice is flat and his eyes are faraway and glassy.

You chuckle softly. "Not immediately, of course. But he did admire my fearlessness against him. And I knew his reputation. And not to brag but…" You smile some and click your tongue on the roof of your mouth. "I am pretty cute."

Sasuke doesn't laugh, but his shoulders ease up a tad. "You said he was sick."

"He was. My clan is known for being healers as much as fighters, and I could sense illness in his chakra after we fought. I gave everything I could to cure him, but I think ultimately the burdens on his shoulders stressed him out too much, along with his use of the Mangekyo Sharingan. He was losing his sight little by little as well, as I'm sure you saw when you fought him."

Sasuke's chest clutches with an emotion he can't name. You know things about Itachi you wouldn't, had you been just a stranger with an odd play. He was not a trusting nor kind young man in the slightest, but he believes you're real and it shocks him more than his thought-to-be emotionless (minus his anger) brain could bear.

You are the closest thing he has to his brother.

"I never got to know him well." He mutters, gazing to the stars. "He was distant."

You chuckle. "I always did compare him to an aloof housecat. He had a dry sense of humor; he also had a sarcastic streak in him. He wasn't passive, really, he just didn't entertain nonsense and tended to avoid it if he could. I think by that point of his life, he was already feeling like he'd failed everyone he sacrificed everything he had for. So he didn't have it in him to bear anymore weight."

Sasuke's eyes water as you continue telling him about his brother. He'd looked up to his older sibling as a child, and he wanted to be just like him. And then he spent half of his life training to get stronger and kill him, but even then it was Itachi that motivated him. He'd let that man inspire whatever route of his life he was taking, and yet he hardly knew him at all. He was that captivating, for better or worse.

"Oh, and his sweet tooth was terrible." You laugh, looking at the stars with the young man beside you, breaking the tension. "He kept a bag of butterscotch candies in his Akatsuki cloak, y'know."

Sasuke blinks and he even laughs just a tad, and that surprises you. "I kept strawberry ones in mine." He admits lowly, as if he didn't want to admit how human he was. You laugh so much at the thought of these dangerous brothers and their sweet tooths, and Sasuke gazes at you and realizes just how perfect you were for his brother. He can see how you'd slotted yourself into his life and he let you stay.

"He told me about the time you'd gotten yourself stuck in a tree and were afraid to jump down. He said he couldn't understand why you didn't think he'd catch you." You look directly at him now, taking in his features. You bet he had the chubbiest cheeks when he was little.

"I was young." He mutters. "I was afraid he wouldn't catch me and I would get hurt." Oh how he longs for the days where he thought that was the worst hurt he could've felt.

"He'd never let you fall." You murmur. To that, Sasuke scoffs.

"He did let me fall! He shook the tree and knocked me out of it!"

You laugh loudly, having no idea about that part of the story. Sasuke's pouting and it warms you to see such a visceral reaction from him. Truly, they were brothers. "But did he catch you?"

His arms cross and lips twist into a scowl. "... Yes."

You chuckle to yourself, comfortable in the idea that Sasuke believes you by now. "I… I came here tonight with a purpose."

That sends Sasuke back into his cool, defensive mode. "You're trying to stop me from destroying the village."

"Well, yeah." You sigh. "Itachi did everything he did for this place. I'd hate to see that work go to waste."

"It was for naught from the start." He growls.

"He never intended for you to know the truth. Not many people know it, after all. But, he asked me to find you after his death. I sense he may have had reason to believe you would learn the truth, and you did. I couldn't tell you what he wanted me to say or do after that point, but I always interpreted his request as letting you know that you do have family still." You pull a photo from your breast pocket, holding it to him.

The breath is sucked out of him when he focuses on the picture. It's of you and Itachi, and if he didn't believe you already, he would've had no choice but to at this point. But it's the third person in the picture that causes him to bite his tongue down hard enough to stop him from breaking down.

There's a child.

"He has a son." Sasuke says.

"We do." You nod. "He's two now. He's the perfect mix between you and your brother, now that I see you. His cute little nose is identical to yours." You smile and your eyes sparkle as you look at the family photo.

"What's his name?"

"Makoto."

Truth, Sasuke thinks.

"I… Would love for his uncle to see him one day." You murmur and tuck the photo into the inner pocket of his shirt. "If you want that, I could take you now. Or whenever you feel comfortable."

"Not now." Sasuke whispers.

You nod and ready yourself to jump out of the tree. "That's perfectly okay. We live near an old Uchiha clan landmark, I'm sure you'll find it with ease."

Sasuke watches you jump, already envisioning the exact landmark you're referencing. It's the one by a large lake with three tiny, island-like formations in it. He hasn't seen that lake since he was a child. He remembers Itachi teaching him how to swim there.

"I hope to see you soon, Sasuke." You call out before disappearing into the night, returning home to your son.

Sasuke frowns. Who had you kept the baby with? He could've killed you, and then what?? He can't allow you to be a reckless mother, really, why must he have to take care of those older than him…

He doesn't take a second look in the direction of Konoha. He latches onto your chakra signature and is soon running by your side. You hide your smile to yourself, and take him to your quaint little home you once shared with Itachi, whenever he wasn't out on Akatsuki business.

"Who is watching him?" Sasuke frowns.

"I am." You snort, and Sasuke grimaces when your shadow clone disappears. As often as he had to encounter that damn shadow clone jutsu, he had no idea he'd been talking to a clone for so long.

But to keep up the chakra for so long, he muses to himself that perhaps it was for the best that he didn't try and engage you in battle.

Before long he's at your home, and you're sitting on the front steps with the sleeping toddler in your arms. There's a twinkle in your eye and you lead him inside. It's warm, he notes as he steps in and removes his sandals. He looks around. There's a few photos of your family on the walls, and there's a small one he notices on the side table by the couch.

It's of him and Itachi, when Sasuke was maybe a year old. He was slung over Itachi's shoulder and smiling with his eyes closed tightly, and Itachi was looking at Sasuke rather than the camera, a fond look in his eye.

You follow his gaze. "The Uchiha brothers." You hum to yourself, sitting on the couch and cuddling your son close. He's fast asleep but his fingers are still clutched tightly to your shirt, a trait Itachi had as well when he was asleep.

Sasuke doesn't sit down, too uncomfortable in these surroundings. His brother was here, when he was still alive. He'd made a family here, a family he'd left behind to… Fight Sasuke to the death. His fists clench and his jaw is tight.

"Why was he like this?" He whispers angrily, attempting to control his anger and not wake the baby. Itachi gave away everything he ever loved. Did he hold nothing sacred?

"Unfortunately, your brother felt he was a martyr to this world. He believed so much in peace and was a pacifist in this cruel world that wouldn't allow him to be himself." You look at your darling son, brushing some of that dark hair from his face. "Makoto getting the Sharingan would break his heart. What was an achievement for your clan was also his worst nightmare."

Sasuke closes his eyes. Itachi's eyes. They've seen a lot and caused others to see perhaps even more. He'll never forget what looking into those eyes did to him.

"If you want…" You say slowly. "He kept a journal up until his final day. I haven't read a single entry. It's… Too much for me." You wipe at the rim of your eye, and Sasuke sees just how much you loved his brother, can hear it in your voice, your urge to cry.

You sniffle and stand, going to the bedroom and retrieving it from Itachi's bedside table. It's leathery and small, likely kept right beside his bag of butterscotch in his cloak. You kiss your son's cheek and hand it off to his uncle, turning once he's accepted it. "You're welcome to stay the night. Please help yourself to anything in the cupboards or fridge, and the couch pulls out into a bed. The baby's and my rooms are right down the hall. Goodnight, Sasuke."

He doesn't respond, eyes locked into that journal. This was his best chance to get to know his older brother and he couldn't waste it. He settles at the dining room table and reads throughout the night, every last page and addendum and extra little notes he would add in the margins of a page, and Sasuke discovers quickly that Itachi was absolutely smitten with you.

Her smile eases the pain in my chest better than any of these medicines could ever aspire to.

Sasuke cries through the night while he reads the journal, his heart heavier and depression blanketing him rather than anger when he first learnt his brother's truth. Alone at that table, with his brother's innermost thoughts and confessions laid out before him and only ever him, he is again that little boy with a brother he never got to see. His stomach is a pit and he wants to throw up as he sobs, his chest and shirt soaked from his tears.

There's a hole in his chest that can't be filled. He'd give his soul to start all over again, just to see him again, even if it had to end the same way it did.

Dawn starts breaking when he hears the little one's voice for the first time. He's whimpering in his room, no doubt needing a change or a feeding or even just his momma. He doesn't know why, but he stands and follows the noise, tear-stained face and shirt and all.

Sasuke cracks open the door, peeking inside at the baby. The toddler is standing in his crib, whining forlornly. Sasuke is struck by an emotion he can't name (pride?) and he steps inside, staring at Makoto and watching him as he looks right back at Sasuke.

He wonders why he isn't afraid of a stranger, but when the baby smiles he realizes he must think he's Itachi. Sasuke shakes his head lightly and carefully walks to Makoto, his hands on the railing of the crib and his head bent to look at his nephew. He can't believe it… He's got a nephew.

Family.

Itachi's son.

Makoto places his tiny hands on Sasuke's and bounces on his little mattress, a smile on his face. His dark hair is long and his bangs sweep into his eyes, which Sasuke swipes away with a finger. The toddler coos and makes grabby hands, and for whatever reason Sasuke could not tell him no. He picks him up like he knows the kid, cuddling him to his chest and quietly crying into his hair.

His nephew.

He's got something worth protecting. A goal that has no end; he will give his life for Makoto if he has to and he is sure that he'll have no regrets doing it. Just as Itachi would've done for his son. Just as Itachi had done for him.

Destroying Konoha wasn't going to bring around any change for the world this little guy will live in. He now cannot ignore the reality the next generation will be in; he can't allow another Itachi.

"I will protect you from this world." Sasuke mutters his promise to Makoto. The baby seems to shrug and just curls his fingers in Sasuke's shirt, and it brings the touch of a smile to Sasuke's lips.

He will become Hokage, and make the world right for you and Itachi's son. He wonders if this feeling is one of an older brother; he's prideful and scared and doesn't want to let go of the baby.

And when Sasuke gets the chance to ask Itachi during the war, he confirms with a fond smile that it's exactly that.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Miss American Pie

Chapter Five: This Will Be The Day (Finale)

Warning: this series features a romantic Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader pairing.

Summary: Everyone has returned but the battle for humanity against Thanos wages on.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

You wake in a coughing fit, the rubble surrounding you sears your lungs. “Natasha.” You call into the rocks and flickering lights. Clearing your throat, you try again. “Natasha!”

“Here, I’m here.” Her voice is rough, pained.

You push yourself toward the sound, through the dust you can make out her hair. “You ok?”

“Mostly.” She’s laying face up, a few scratches visible.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I can’t move.” She nods at the piece of collapsed cement. “My leg is broken, you should go.” Nat says, staring up at the sky.

“I should’ve never let you go to Vormir. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” You try uselessly to budge the blockage over her leg.

“What is Vormir?” She asks.

“Doesn’t matter.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “How much do you remember?”

“The red room.”

“Do you remember getting out?”

“No one gets out.” She shakes her head.

“We did.” You inform her. “Yelena did.”

“Yelena?” Her gaze finds yours. “You know Yelena? Is she here?”

“Yes, I know her.” You press your lips together. “She’s not here though.”

“The rest of this building is coming down. If you were really trained in the red room you have to know that.” Natasha frowns. “You need to leave.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Don’t be a hero.” She whispers. “Let me go, it’s ok.”

“No, it’s not.” You argue. “I won’t do it again.”

“What about Yelena?” Natasha gives you a pointed look.

“She’ll understand.” This is what she would do.

“Hey,” Natasha pushes herself up on her elbows. “Would it be a good thing or a bad thing if a giant man in a metal suit carrying a smaller man and a raccoon appeared behind your head?”

You turn toward the man in question. Scott Lang. “It would be a good thing.”

———————————————————————

Natasha is taken somewhere safe. She can’t fight.

As the strange doctor and his disciples start opening portals you see that you’re not alone. Through one comes Alexei, Melina and Yelena.

Her white suit is pristine, dirty blonde hair held away from her face in ponytails.

On shaky legs you move toward her, taking your rightful place at her side. Facing what lies ahead together.

Yelena catches your hand, “this isn’t much of a welcome home.”

You can’t help but laugh, “pretty cool way to die though.”

“Very,” she agrees. “Natasha?”

“She is a little worse for wear.” You warn her, “but alive…and safe.”

Yelena gives you a watery smile, squeezing your fingers. “And you?”

“A tower fell on me.”

“Of course it did.”

Thanos’ army is nothing to scoff at. Giant airborne creatures hover over his troops. Larger monsters stand in their ranks, space ship overhead ready to destroy.

Steve is almost unrecognizable, covered in dirt, his shield battered and broken. But you know it is time when he gives the order. “Avengers, assemble.”

Fighting is easy, it’s what you know. What you were trained to do. Fight to stay alive, fight for what you believe in, fight with Yelena; for Yelena.

The two of you move together like a well oiled machine. Like riding a bike, even after all this time you could never forget.

“We’ve got company to the left.” Yelena says through gritted teeth, kicking at the alien creature beside her. Dropping an empty cartridge to the ground and reloading her gun seamlessly, firing several shots.

Despite everyone’s best efforts they just keep coming. “Do we have a plan here?”

“Getting there,” Steve replies. “Anybody have eyes on the gauntlet?”

“Yeah!” Clint rushes past you with the glove in hand. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Get it out of here!” Tony insists.

“What’s happening?” Alexei shouts over the chaos. “I still don’t have ear piece.”

“Just keep their army away from that guy in the tank top.” You grunt, falling backwards from the force of one of Thanos’ soldiers colliding with you.

“We have to get the stones back where they came from.” Rhodey reminds everyone.

“The time space tunnel is completely collapsed.” Tony points out.

“That isn’t our only time machine.” Lang cuts in.

“Does anyone see an ugly brown van out there?” Captain America’s voice hums through the ear bud.

“I do,” a female voice chimes in. “But you’re not going to like where it’s parked.”

After grappling for far too long, you manage to knock the creature from you. Using your knife to dismember it.

“Next time, we get the cool laser guns.” Yelena yells loud enough to be heard by everyone on the network, as she hauls you to your feet.

“Friday, please add laser guns for the ballerinas to my grocery list.” Stark gives his smart ass remark.

“What’s the word on the van?” Rhodey wonders.

“Working on it now.”

The ship at Thanos’ disposal begins raining fire, no regard for their own troops.

“We’ve got people going down!” Rocket hollers.

“Clint,” you call into the microphone. “How’s that gauntlet?”

“Moving down the field.” The archer replies, “I’m alright too, thanks for asking.”

“Good.” You bite back a smile.

Hell continues breaking loose around you. Glowing circular orbs unfold in the air above, providing coverage from the missiles. You’re not sure if this is winning or losing. It feels like a bit of both.

———————————————————————- Thanos and his army are dusted away. Leaving you surprised and still swinging as the shock wears off.

You won. You. Won.

And you lost.

You lost Tony Stark. The man you’d barely known, but offered you clarity that will stay with you forever.

You lost the Natasha you’d come to know over the five years that Yelena was gone. Some parts of the redhead stripped away for the price of the stone.

But she’s still here. Waiting in the wings to be greeted by Yelena and their little makeshift family. You share a look of understanding when your eyes meet over the blonde’s shoulder.

Others come, Banner refuses to leave her side. Despite the fact that Natasha doesn’t remember him.

Clint falls to the ground at her feet. Breaking down at the sight of his friend, his family alive and well. She doesn’t remember him either, but welcomes him into her arms somewhat awkwardly.

Her expressions flicker from happy to overwhelmed. Hesitant to open herself up to the possibility that she is wanted, needed and loved.

Too confusing for the girl who only remembers the red room. Adjusting to this life will take time.

Everyone begins clearing out, their jobs finished. Rushing home to reunite with their loved ones. Tomorrow will bring about new challenges. The world is in shambles, and so are you.

Steve decides that he should be the one to return the stones. His goodbye tells you that he has a bit more in mind. But this is his life. His choices, not yours.

“Well, I guess we should head out too.” You say after a while. Your car is gone, lost in the wreckage from the explosion.

The setting sun is eclipsed, causing all of you to turn your gaze upwards just in time to see the ship’s door open.

“Is that a raccoon?” Melina asks, pointing toward Rocket.

“Do you want a ride or not?” Rocket shoots back.

“Not the avenger’s super jet, but it will do huh?” Alexei smiles, this is his dream.

“This is better!” A man’s voice carries down from the interior.

“Well,” Yelena shrugs, “if you say so.” She leads the pack up the ramp and onto the ship.

“Fanny and the pigs will be expecting dinner soon.”

“How are they?” Melina asks, “have you been taking care of them.”

“That was me!” Alexei says proudly, bending at the waist to gather Natasha into his arms. “Aye honey,” he grunts, hoisting her up. “You are only little girl in my heart.”

Nat pushes against his chest in retaliation.

“Do you mind if I hitch a ride too?” Clint asks.

“The extra stop will cost you,” Nebula stares blankly at him from her seat.

“They always do.” He remarks, trotting up the ramp.

Bruce paces at the foot of the metal grate, watching the rest of you load up. “I gotta hang back, make sure Steve gets there in one piece.”

“After what happened with Scott the first time I’d say that’s probably the best bet.” You agree, standing near the entrance.

“Yeah,” he smiles, kindly. “Keep me posted on Nat, will ya?”

“I will,” you return the smile.

“I’ll see you around.”

You nod, “I’ll see you.”

The captain of the ship introduces himself as Star-lord, and after a moment without response, Quill.

“Any requests?” He asks, finger hovering over the control panel.

Alexei creeps over to the younger man, quietly relaying a message.

“Alright,” Quill nods. Stroking the keys until a familiar set of notes ring out.

“A long, long time ago-“ The singer croons.

You let out a chuckle.

“I can still remember how that music used to make me smile. And I knew if I had my chance, that I could make those people dance. And maybe they'd be happy for a while.”

“We’re really doing this?” Yelena puts a hand to her head, the corners of her mouth turning upward.

“But February made me shiver, with every paper I'd deliver. Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step.” The melody carries on.

“It’s your song.” Natasha turns to her sister.

“I can't remember if I cried. When I read about his widowed bride.” Melina’s eyes are far away, carried back to their years in Ohio. Before the world had been so cruel.

“Something touched me deep inside, the day the music-“

“Died.” Yelena joins in, lulling her head to the side to gage your reaction.

You sigh, all of this beyond surreal. But you allow yourself to live in this moment, because you might not get another. “So bye, bye Miss American Pie…”

“Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry.” The roaring chorus of voices fills the silence you’ve grown used to. Fills the parts of you that were empty for so long. “And them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye. Singin', “this’ll be the day that I die.”

“This’ll be the day that I die.” Yelena sings, her face alight with a childlike glee.

——————————————————————-

Melina, Natasha and Alexei stay with you for a while. A few weeks as Natasha heals and becomes acclimated to her life.

She claims to hate the attention, but deep down you know she’s full of it.

The Ohio house is bursting at the seams with five adults, nine pigs and one dog.

That isn’t enough to keep visitors at bay. Namely Clint, his wife Laura and their three children.

Things feel a bit off when everyone begins moving out. Alexei, Melina, and their pigs return to the farm outside of Saint Petersburg.

Natasha finds herself drawn to New York, with Bruce and the makeshift building he’s using as a lab.

You adjust to the steady thrum that is daily life, with Fanny and Yelena.

After dinner you load the dishwasher, drying your hands on the nearby tea towel before selecting a cycle.

“So how does it feel?” Yelena asks, leaning against the doorframe.

“Hmm?” You turn to face her.

“Being a hero.” She clarifies, a smile playing at her lips.

“I’m not-“

“Oh cut the crap, Y/N. You saved the world.” Yelena narrows her eyes at you.

“I did it for you.” You say simply, because it’s true.

Yelena closes the space between you, “why?”

“You know why.” You whisper as she cups your face in her hands, gently stroking her thumb over your cheek. “It’s ok if you wouldn’t have done the same.”

“I’d do more for you, and worse.” She assures you. “But do you really want to spend the rest of your life fumbling around feelings in the dark when you could have someone who-“

“I want you. I only ever want you.” You beckon her closer. “Anyway I can have you, that will be enough for me.”

Sometimes wires get crossed and you want things you never have before. And she provides them before you have a chance to ask. You give back to her tenfold, so that neither glass is ever empty. That is love. True love, the only way you’ve ever known it.

“I am yours…in every way a person can belong to another.” Yelena breathes, “and then some.”

Series taglist: @jeyramarie @freeshavocadoooo @ilovewinter101 @3and30aresoultwins @yelenabelovv @miphas-trident @1800-fight-me

If you loved this series as much as I did, you can check out the prequel here!

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

WARNINGS: Cursing. Homophobic comments from Tr*y [his in script use of the word fa*ry once] Reader fucking SNAPS.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

The five of us rode our bikes down the road to school, El on the back of Mike's bike as usual. She seemed eager to soak in everything around her like she would never see it again. Wind brushed the wig aside and she clung tightly to Mike.

Mike was beginning to slow down, the group of us all growing tired from the ride. Soon enough, however, we were walking through the back doors to the schools. Mike was in the lead as he turns to speak to us as we walked.

"Okay, remember, if anyone sees us, look sad."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

'He is still missing, isn't he?'

My thoughts were interrupted by the crackling of the speaker.

"Attention students, there will be an assembly to honor Will Byers in the gymnasium now. Do not go to fourth period."

I looked to the ceiling at the mention of my best friend and by the time I looked ahead, we had made it outside the AV room. Mike was attempting to open the door but it must be locked.

"It's locked." Mike confirmed.

"What?" Lucas asked.

"Hey, El, is there any way for you to open it?" I ask.

Before she could respond, we all jumped at the voice of Mr. Clarke and froze.

"Boys? Lady." He nodded towards El.

"Hey." Lucas breathed, obviously startled.

"Assembly's about to start."

"We know. We're just, you know..." Mike works a solemn look on his face as he spoke and the others seemed to join in, including me although it wasn't that difficult.

"Upset." Lucas nodded, dropping his nervous smile.

"Yeah, definitely upset," Dustin muttered.

I opened my mouth to speak, but thought better to say nothing at all and even looked down to the ground. Channeling all my emotions from just hours before.

"We need some alone time."

"To... cry." Dustin hesitated.

"Yeah, listen... I get it. I do. I know how hard this is, but let's just be there for Will, huh? And then," Mr. Clarke reached into his pocket and pulled out a key.

He tossed the key to Mike who caught it upon instinct.

"the Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day. What do you say?"

We all looked to each other, wearing subtle triumphant smirks. It couldn't have been that easy, could it?

Mr. Clarke seemed to finally notice that he had no idea who El was.

"I don't believe we've met. What's your name?"

El seemed shocked and began to say 'Eleven' when Mike panicked and cut in.

"Eleanor! She's my, uh-"

"Cousin!" Lucas jumped in.

"Second cousin," Dustin added.

I started to laugh but caught myself just in time to play it off as a cough. I pretended to clear my throat as I looked to Mr. Clarke who was looking a bit confused.

"She's here for Will's funeral." Mike sighed.

Mr. Clarke seemed content with this answer as he shrugged and turned to her.

"Ah, well, welcome to Hawkins Middle, Eleanor. I wish you were here under better circumstances."

She looked to us and Mike, then turned to Mr. Clarke nodding her head. "Thank you."

A small smile fought its way into my face. She was doing great.

"Uh, where are you from exactly?"

El shook her head, sighing exasperatedly. "Bad place-"

"Sweden!" Dustin cuts in.

"I have a lot of Swedish family."

"She hates it there."

"Cold!"

"Subzero."

Meanwhile, I had fought back another laugh at the whole exchange and I had to play it off as a cough yet again.

"Are you alright, Mr. Henderson?"

My head snapped up, but luckily I was fairly quick on my feet this time.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I woke up with a fever, haven't been feeling well all morning. But I insisted on coming. For Will." Mr. Clarke seemed satisfied with my answer and dismissed our odd behavior.

"Shall we?"

"Yep!" We all follow Mr. Clarke to the gymnasium in silence.

As we get closer, I can hear the principal speaking from inside.

"At times like these, it is important that we come together as a community. We come-"

Dustin swung open the gymnasium doors far too hard and the loud bang echoed throughout the gym that had drawn the attention of the crowd. I elbow Dustin. I feel him shifting on his feet beside me as panic sets in.

"Abort." He whispers, turning to leave.

Thankfully, Lucas stops him and shoved him forward.

"We come together to heal... we come together to grieve..."

As the principle continues his speech, the five of us wander into the bleachers to find a seat.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Will Byers' death is an unimaginable tragedy. Will was an exceptional student and a wonderful friend to all of us. It's impossible to express the hole his loss will leave in our community. I'd like to introduce you to Sandy Sloane. She's a local grief counselor from the church over in Jonesboro."

While the principal carried on, the five of us all looked to each other, all sharing the same thought.

'We need to get to that radio. And soon.'

"I just want those of you who are having trouble dealing with this tragic loss..."

"Look at these fakers." I heard Mike whisper.

"They probably didn't even know his name till today." Lucas scoffed.

My head whipped to the side when I heard hushed chuckling. I wasn't surprised to see Troy and his friend as the source of the laughter. I glared daggers into them and my hands gripped the edge of my seat until I was sure my knuckles would tear.

The boys and El seemed quick to follow my gaze because soon enough, we were all leaning over glaring at them.

"Who is interested in this? This is so stupid." He laughed.

I grit my teeth as my vision filled with red.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."

"Y/n..." Lucas warned, reaching out for my arm. I wasn't paying attention, but for some reason, I felt his hand leave my arm almost as soon as he grabbed it.

"'Oh, he was such a great student. Oh, he's going to leave a hole in the community.'" Troy mocked, beginning to fake sob.

I began to shake with rage, wanting nothing more than to stand up and scream 'fu-'

"Y/n,"

"What?!" I hissed at Lucas, my head whipping around to face him, my jaw clenched.

I saw fear in his eyes as he glanced between my eye line and my hands. I looked down at my own hands to see the dangerously strong grip on the wood. I yanked my hands off the bench and rubbed my hands together, keeping to myself.

I was shocked to see the faintest imprint of the most vaguely shaped hand on the bench. It was hardly noticeable and I had to do a double take.

'What the hell?'

El was leaning over and she met my gaze. She briefly looked at my hands, seeming to dismiss whatever thoughts she had. Then looked to Troy.

"Mouth breather." She whispered.

I let out a strained chuckle and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, mouth breather." I whispered, looking back and Troy.

Eventually, the bell rang, dismissing the assembly. Even though Lucas and Dustin seemed to have let it go, Mike and I were not finished.

"Hey! Hey! Hey Troy." Mike called.

I could tell he could hear us because he barely slowed down but was clearly laughing. I stomped towards him and called him out, loud and clear.

"Hey, jackass!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. He seemed like he wanted to be mad, but almost like he was happy he got a rise out of us.

"You think that shit was funny?" My voice never wavered and the boys and El seemed just as shocked as I was feeling at my newfound courage.

"What'd you say, orphan?" He asked, dumbfounded.

He only called me that when he was really pissed at me.

"You heard me! And how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not an orphan if I was adopted, you dumbass! Now what the hell is in that tiny brain of yours that would compel you to laugh at someone dying, huh? I mean, shit, you must really be sick in the head. I feel sorry for you." I spit out my last few words, my voice dripping with malice.

By now I was in his face, finally letting out all the pent-up aggression I've harbored for years. And it felt good.

"Get the hell outta my face, freak!" He yells shoving me back.

I get ready to strike but Dustin grabs my arm before my fist can collide with Troy's face. I struggle to get free but my brother was determined to hold me back, with the help of Lucas of course.

"Control your 'brother', Toothless. Or he just might lose a few teeth of his own." He glares at me and I still attempt to break free.

Mike seems to have found his voice as all of this happened because he was the next to speak.

"H-Hey, he's right! Laughing like that? That's a pretty messed up thing to do."

Troy, glares at us as his minion speaks.

"Didn't you listen to the counselor, freaks? Grief shows itself in funny ways."

"You little shit-" I attempt once more to get a right hook in but Lucas stops me.

Troy laughs at me struggling.

"Besides, what's there to be sad about, anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay!"

Lucas loosened his grip on me, silently letting me go as Troy began dancing around, mocking Will.

I swung my fist and I felt it collide with his nose with a satisfying crack. He stumbled back and grasped his nose in surprise, he pulled his hand away to find a few drops of blood on his hands. The crowd that had gathered while all of this unfolded, gasped in surprise. I even earned some scattered cheers among the students.

I seemed to realize the consequences of my actions, but I was prepared to face them. It was worth it. I watched as he stormed towards me, blinded by fury.

"You're dead, freak!" He stomped towards me at a shocking speed and I stumbled back, bracing myself for the inevitable retaliation but it never came.

All I felt was a sudden pair of hands on my right arm, harshly pushing me out of the way. I looked in time to see it was Mike who pushed me out of the way. I gakwed in confusion at what happened next.

Troy had just begun to raise his arm as he was only inches from Mike when he froze.

He completely froze in place.

He seemed just as confused, if not more than anyone. That confusion quickly bubbled into fear as his eyes scanned the room as much as he could without moving his head.

It finally dawned on me and I spared a quick glance at El, who was laser-focused on Troy, head tilted down and the smallest hint of blood dripping from her nose. I smirked and looked back to Troy, a smug smile on my face.

I couldn't hold back the laughter as I saw his pants begin to dampen with urine. A stream of it began pooling at his leg, and it even soaked into his socks and shoes. Other students caught on quickly and one boy in particular, began laughing.

"Dude, Troy peed himself!"

The circle of kids erupted into laughter as Troy stood frozen in a puddle of his own pee. I turned to El, who wore a devilish smirk on her face as she glanced between Mike and me. She quickly wiped her nose and started walking away. The boys and I enjoyed this brief moment of bliss.

"Hey! What is going on here?" The principle shouted.

"Come on!" I whisper, gesturing for the boys who all had the same idea. Before people could start asking questions we grouped together and made our way to the AV room unnoticed.

[whatgaviiformes]

Hey! I wondered if I could be cheeky and ask for a combination of 2 Olympic prompts? I'd really like a combo of victory for one brother (maybe Scott?) and loss for another (maybe Gordon) on the same day (if not in the same event). To be honest, any pair of brothers would be fine. And I know this is kind of detailed and complicated, so I am more than happy for you to refuse, or only take part of this to work with. Thanks!

Only if I can be equally as cheeky and combine events 😊 And it's funny you ask, I had just been talking to @the-original-sineater about a similar concept a few days before this prompt came in, and so I hope you don't mind, but I asked her if she didn't mind joining me as a co-writer on this one. The result has been a true passion project for the two of us - we've had a hell of a lot of fun working together. I sincerely hope it shows, and that you enjoy this story. Thanks to you both for the continued inspiration. 

@katblu42 I also know you are having a rough go of things at the moment, so this story comes to you also with sincere Thunderfam hugs and well wishes.

The full story is up on Ao3 here: Faster, Stronger - Together

Or you can continue to part 1 below, and I will link to her post of part 2 at the end.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Faster, Stronger - Together (Part 1)

Scott braced on the edge of the pier. Toes curled around the lip, knees bent. The death throes of the typhoon that had passed through two days earlier made the water grey and choppy.  It wasn’t the best conditions to race in, but it was the Olympics. You took what the gods gave you.  But that made him want to hit the water even more.

“Hey Scooter! On your left!”

Scott glared to his left. There was only one person in the group of 50 that dared to call him that  and with that goad. “Watch it FISH, I know where you sleep.”

His younger brother Gordon just laughed at him.

“Frigging fish.” He turned his gaze back to the water and waited for the starter’s pistol. Olympians tended to run in families. But having two brothers in the same event? In the same games? Uncommon, if not actually rare.

There was a chuckle to his right. “Little brothers are the bane of our existence, yes?” Denis Vallee of France was Scott’s primary competition, after Gordon. They had both had younger brothers in the games, but Denis’s had the good taste to be a fencer.

The pistol sounded before he could answer, and Scott dove into the water. The shock between the warm, nearly chewable air and the cold, storm churned water was enough to make him gasp. He shook it off and swam 1500 meters of the crawl.

Unless you were a little shit named Gordon Tracy. In which case you used the god damn butterfly . Used it, led with it, and was smug as hell about it. Anyone else saying anything like that about Gordon, in Scott’s presence, found out in a big hurry not too. Scott was the only one allowed to badmouth Gordon, his privilege as a big brother.

Still, this water was utter crap. He let a swell throw him forward. You had to pace in the  Triathlon. 1500 meters of swimming, 40 clicks of a bike race, and 10 more clicks of running. It was a hard race to begin with. But in these conditions? It was brutal.

The first buoy and boat were in sight, marking the first turn. He kept as tight as he could to it. Anything to shave precious tenths off his time.

He could feel the lactic acid build up in his legs as they made for the second buoy.  That was the turn that would take them to the headland and the bikes. God, his arms were burning. The chop made an already hard swim tougher. He had to post a good swim time. It wouldn’t be a great time, but as long as it was good, it would be okay.

The water was changing, calmer, a little warmer. They were in the headland's lee now. He could see the curve of the beach when he turned to breathe. It was only a dozen or so more strokes before his fingers hit sand. He got a leg under him, pushed upright and started to run for his bike.

He could see Gordon ahead of him. Denis was to his right, pushing through the water.

17 :23:41 That was Scott’s time. He could build on that.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Eight laps.

The irony was not lost on him that it was Scott who taught him how to ride a bike in the first place. They’d raced back then too, converting the acres of land on their family’s wheat farm into an obstacle course, even as Gordon found his balance on two wheels and his muscles filled out to challenge the length of Scott’s legs.

Being the eldest, Scott had the advantage then.

He was still a force, and Gordon knew not to underestimate his brother’s stamina at his age, the old man (and only Gordon was allowed to say that; privilege of being a younger brother). Scott may certainly start in the chase group after the swim, but he’d make his way forward into the leaders by the end of the cycling race.

If he had any chance at winning, Gordon had to work smarter.

Triathlon was about endurance across the three events. His disadvantage was that he was strongest in the swim, and the swim being the portion of the event that took place first allowed his competition plenty of opportunity to catch up to his scores.

Gordon knew his best chance to stay in the race was to give himself the head start, and while he could dominate the event with the crawl, every time he pushed his hardest through the swim using the standard stroke, he always burned out in later events.

The butterfly had been his secret weapon.

He’d been perfecting his approach to the triathlon event for months. The butterfly worked almost every muscle group, all pecs, and core, and deltoids, and trapezius, leaving his legs less drained and better reserved for the cycling and the run.

He knew what people would be saying about his change in swim strokes, how arrogant it might make him look. But Gordon knew his body.

And he knew Scott.

He was not going to let Scott beat him; he was going to win the hell out of this race and the butterfly was going to be what helped him do it. He was one of the fastest swimmers in the world, and it still gave him a hell of a solid lead with his time coming in at 16:59:12 for the full 1.5 kilometers.

And then he had no time to think, removing his cap and replacing it with a helmet for the biking portion.

Just practicing cycling alone and on flatland he could complete the 25 miles in 55 minutes on average. The 40 kilometers of the Olympic standard was just shy of that length, and with one lap almost complete, he knew those few uphill slopes could slow him down.

He stood on the pedals and leaned into the last curve of the track.

Seven laps.

As wide a lead as he had, he knew the competition would catch up eventually, but hell if he was going to make it easy on them. His guess was they’d catch up three laps in, and then the goal from there would be to stay in the group of leaders, even if he slid a bit further back. He could regain the ground he needed at the run.

Six laps.

The air was stifling and muggy, and it didn’t help the heat he felt in his lungs as he pressed his feet faster into the circular rhythm.

Gordon felt heavy, but controlled breathing against his neck.

That was the other reason he tried to get ahead. On the swim team he competed with lanes cleanly defined, and victory was about speed and skill alone. In the triathlon, the athletes were basically on top of each other, so close, too close.

Aw shit.

Vallee was on his tail.

Five laps.

The breakaway group was a pack of nine from what Gordon could feel around him. There were two right behind him, and six leading at the front, with Scott and Vallee fighting each other to push into first, other names like Tvedt and Balazs and Ricci weaving in and out behind them.

He was maybe milliseconds behind, but those milliseconds mattered.

Just keep with the group, Gordo.

Four laps.

Around him were chants of “USA!” They weren’t for him; they were chants for Scott, who’d taken a solid lead. It made him proud. From the back of the group, he still felt the thrill of the chase and the support of his countrymen invigorate his tired muscles, as they pushed through the fire and pressed forward.

Three laps.

The two competitors behind him fell back towards the peloton. He didn’t know how far behind they were, but it left him last in the breakaway. It made him feel like he was losing.

But he wasn’t.

He wasn’t losing.

He was okay, this was okay.

Breathe.

Two laps left.

Honestly, he was falling a bit behind too.

The back of Scott’s shoulders were red and flushed. Gordon should definitely have been focusing on himself and his own frantic pedaling, but he wasn’t able to stop thinking that Scott was pushing too hard.

Hell, they all were.

And, shit, everyone was still cheering .

Final Lap.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Virgil moved Kayo’s hand from his hand to his forearm. He didn’t want it broken. Which is what would happen if she kept squeezing.

Alan’s leg was bouncing so hard the chair he was sitting was dancing in place. John only looked calm. He was leaning forward, elbows on thighs, hands locked together. The white of the knuckles betraying his emotions.

Virgil had a stress ball in his other hand. One that might not survive this race if things kept up at this pace.

As much as he appreciated the support of their community in donating the high school’s gymnasium to livestream the event, the cheerful laughter of the townsfolk around them grated against Virgil’s skull. While it was a celebration for their town, it was incredibly nerve-racking for the Tracy family and their closest friends.

Supporting one brother in an event? Easy. Having two competing in the same event? Well, that was the hell of Solomon’s choice, wasn’t it? Scott had always dreamed of winning gold in the Olympics and had dedicated his life to training for the triathlon. But then, even though Gordon had already had his go on the swim team four years prior, he’d put so much of himself into training for the triathlon since - living and breathing cycling, running, and building up his endurance.

And there could only be one gold. No matter how they sliced it, they’d be celebrating with one brother...and mourning with the other.

Gordon’s old high-school swim team had gone wild when the second youngest pulled out the butterfly, darting immediately into the front of the pack, even with the more difficult stroke. Water was his element, and apparently he wanted everyone to know it.

The bike club had started yelling the minute Scott hit his bike. This course was where Scott could shine. Like Kansas, it wasn’t flat either. Scott was the master of the short hill and his friends knew it.

All Virgil could focus on was the flush on both his brothers’ faces. There wasn’t much one could do about a typhoon. Nature set her own schedules, but running a race in the remains of one? With humidity in the 70 percent range and no sun to help dry it out even a little? It worried him. It worried him a lot.

They watched as Scott powered through the last turn, and slammed into the transition area so fast he was running when he left the bike. The racers had a precious two minutes to change and start the running section. The last section.

Scott’s elapsed time was a solid one hour thirteen. Vallee’s was one hour thirteen and fifteen seconds. Gordon was at one hour fourteen and twenty seconds. Striking distance for the top three. Which would be the best outcome possible as far as Virgil was concerned. Each brother getting a medal. It would lead to some trash talk over the family dinner table, but they could live with that. Scott and Vallee burst out of the transition area at the same time. They were running side by side. A shot that the broadcaster seemed to take great delight in showing. They were so well matched they seemed like one runner.

Gordon was a bare heartbeat after his big brother. Ten kilometers, five out, and five back. This just might be the longest forty minutes of Virgil’s life.

He clenched the stress ball tighter in his hand. And watched with bated breath.

END OF PART 1 - Continue on SinEater's blog here.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #32

Victor

I spent the day with my lifelong best friends, Leo and Ellie, and it was amazing, but also kind of bittersweet.

I love Ellie and Leo so much, and I've missed being with them ever since I moved to Mt. Komorebi. Growing up, we were always together. In fact, the first time we were ever apart was when Ellie went to university, and even then, she was home on weekends, at Winterfest and in the summer, and Leo and I could always make the trip to Britechester to visit her if we wanted to.

When I took off to Mt. Komorebi, it was different. We really were separated then, and if I'd known how painful it was going to be, maybe I wouldn't have done it. And the worst part is, I didn't even understand just how much it would hurt until we were reunited. I know, that probably sounds stupid, but it's how I feel. I was super happy to have the team back together, but at the same time, I was sad because I didn't want to think about being away from them again.

Oh, In case I never mentioned it before, Leo is my cousin, and he’s only about three and a half months older than me. Ellie isn’t related to me, but we call each other cousins, too. She’s Julian’s daughter, and we basically grew up together. She’s exactly four months younger than me; my birthday is December second and hers is April second. We always joke that she barely missed being born on April Fool’s Day. Just like Ellie, to be slightly late for everything.

Ellie's tendency to habitually run five minutes behind schedule was the reason we all decided to meet at her house. Leo texted me after breakfast and said he'd pick me and Yuri up in his car, but it was a nice day, and I opted to ride my bike instead.

As it turned out, Yuri didn't want to join us. When I asked him why, he said he wasn't feeling well. I don't know if that was true or not, but if I were to guess, I'd say it's more likely he was anxious about hanging out with my friends for an extended period of time. Yuri's not antisocial or anything. The problem is, he knows my friends are loud, spontaneous and high energy, and he finds it stressful and exhausting to be around people like that for too long, especially if he's not well-acquainted with them. He'd do better with them one-on-one, I think.

Anyway, to my surprise, Ellie was ready when I got there, and it was Leo we had to wait for. According to him, he was trying to figure out how to fit his bike in the trunk of his car.

"You should've just rode it over here, dude," I told him.

"Couldn't," he said. "I'm going to need the car later."

I didn't ask him what for, but I was sure I'd find out sooner or later.

We agreed that Ellie and I would ride to Magnolia Blossom Park on our bikes, and Leo would meet us at the municipal parking lot across from the park. We'd do a little bike racing once we got there.

Before we left, we set up all our phones on the fence in front of Ellie's neighbour's house and put them on self-timer so we could take a bunch of silly photos of ourselves. Far be it from us to make serious memories. That's not our style.

I’m pleased to say, I haven’t lost any of my bike racing prowess, despite not having done it for a while. It’s not my best sport, but I guess you all know that. Still, I’m not bad at it, even if I say so myself.

Speaking of my best sport, Leo told me there’s already been snow on the mountains. I’m hoping we’ll see a decent snowfall while I’m here, so Yuri, Leo and I can go up there and get a few good runs in. I’m dying to show Yuri where I learned to snowboard. It may not seem like much compared to Yukimatsu, but I love it anyway. It was my first love, you could say, and it's where I'd trained for the Canada Winter Games.

It's hard to believe it's already been seven years since I won my Canada Games silver medal. That was my first really big win as an adult competitor, and it was the moment when I realized people other than my family, coach and friends would take me seriously as a professional athlete. It feels like it was only a short time ago that Mom, Julian, Ellie and Leo travelled out west with me and my coach to watch me compete and cheer me on. That's another one of my most wonderful memories with my friends.

Unfortunately, our bike racing only lasted as long as it took for us to annoy some old people who were playing chess and drinking lemonade at a table with a yellow and white striped umbrella. One old guy picked up his cane and waved it at us, and literally yelled at the top of his lungs, "Stop making so much noise!"

We cracked up laughing at the sheer irony of it. To be fair, we were making quite a lot of noise, but it's a public park and there's no law against having a good time. In the interests of not aggravating the elders to the point where they decided to call the park patrol on us, however, we wheeled our bikes over to the fence. Then, we retrieved a ball from Leo's car and started up a random game of soccer.

We played ball until we were starving and ready for a rest. Ellie spotted a hotdog vendor, so we all searched our pockets for money, and ran over to the food truck.

The food truck guy looked at us funny when we ordered nine hotdogs, but a paying customer is a paying customer, and he didn't complain. He just loaded all the hotdogs onto a Styrofoam plate, gave us some napkins, mustard packets and some extra plates to eat off of, and took our money without comment.

We found a picnic table in the shade and settled down to enjoy our lunch. Behind me, I could hear kids on the playground equipment, laughing and talking. Someone was cooking something in one of the public fire pits, and the smell of wood smoke and roasting food drifted in the air. I closed my eyes for a minute, wanting nothing more than to soak in every non-visual detail; longing to commit every sound, scent and sensation to my mind and aching a little because I knew there would be elements I could never recreate in my imagination no matter how hard I tried.

Ellie nudged my leg with hers, under the table. "Victor? You okay?"

"I'm good," I said, opening my eyes again. "Just thinking."

"You gotta be careful doing that," Leo said. "You could start a fire."

"Shut up, dumbass," Ellie said. "I think he's having a nostalgia moment or something."

"I kind of am having a nostalgia moment," I affirmed. "We used to come here all the time, and I don't know what it is about the hotdogs from food trucks, but they always taste the best. You can't get good hotdogs in Mt. Komorebi, and it's been like a million years since I've had any kind of hotdog at all, because Yuri can't eat them."

"The only hotdogs that are better than food truck ones are the ones cooked on campfires," Leo said.

"Exactly," I agreed. "Now that I think about it, I did have hotdogs during my trip to Sulani, back in late spring, so I guess it hasn't been that long. Maybe it's the company that makes them taste so great."

"How was that, anyway?" Ellie asked. "Sulani is on my list of places to go before I'm too old to enjoy it."

"It was fantastic," I said. "If you get a chance to travel, you should definitely do it. You'd love it."

"I don't know about her, but I'd love it," Leo said. "Kilometers of golden beaches and lots of cute girls in bathing suits? Yes, please."

"Ignore him," Ellie said. "Tell me about the cute boys in bathing suits."

I grinned at her. "Well, I was there."

"Shut up!" she kicked my foot. "I can't have you, can I? I meant the other cute boys."

"I have an idea, Ellie," Leo said. "We can go together, then there'll be at least one cute boy and one cute girl in bathing suits on the beach."

Ellie kicked him as well. "Can I get new friends, please?"

"Come on," I said. "You love us."

"Yeah, I do," she acquiesced. "Probably way more than I should."

"Victor, are you still planning to go to Selvadorada after Winterfest?" Leo wanted to know.

"That's the plan," I said. "Why?"

"Well, I had some thoughts about that."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow. "What thoughts would you have about me and my husband going to Selvadorada?"

"You can say no to this if you want," Leo said. "But, I was thinking we could turn it into a group adventure. When you first told us you were going, Ellie and I talked about it, and we thought it'd be fun if we all went."

"Really? You guys want to come to Selvadorada?"

"We wouldn't exactly come with you," Ellie said. "Not unless we both came to Mt. Komorebi first, or you and Yuri came back here. We were thinking that the four of us could arrange our travel plans together and meet up when we arrive."

"That..." I began, but had to stop and take a breath. "You guys... I would love that. You're serious, right? Please say you are, because I totally want to do this with you now."

"Of course we're serious," Ellie said.

"I'll talk to Yuri about it," I promised. "I think he'll agree, but let me ask him and get back to you. Then we can start organizing it."

"Sweet!" Leo exclaimed. "If you can't convince him, let me try to talk him into it. I'm very persuasive."

"I don't think that'll be necessary," I said.

"You'd probably scare him, Leo," said Ellie.

"Me?" Leo retorted "Like he wouldn't be scared of you?"

"He'd be nervous of both of you, acting like this," I said. "He needs to get to know you a little more. Let me see what he thinks of the group adventure, and if he's okay with it, maybe we can all do something he enjoys while we're here, so he can have a chance to get used to you."

"What's he into besides snowboarding?" Ellie asked.

"Music and art and history. He likes video games and movies, and one of our friends recently started teaching him how to knit, so he's been into that lately. And he can swim now, so there's that."

"If he likes art and history, maybe we can go to the museum," Ellie suggested. "It'd be boring as hell for us, but it'd be a low stress environment, and maybe we could go to the municipal pool afterwards."

"Great," I said. 'I'll ask him when I get back to Mom's house tonight."

"Sounds like we have a plan." Ellie gave us a thumbs-up.

We finished our hotdogs and then — I kid you not — we took a nap. The three of us laid on the cool grass under a tree, all heaped together in a pile of cuddles, and dozed off to the soft whispering rustle of leaves overhead.

These are my people, I thought, as I drifted off. The only other person in the world I could lie down with and sleep this close to is Yuri, but I still feel like I have to be careful with him. With Ellie and Leo, I'm not the protector. I'm the one being protected. Or perhaps more accurately, all three of us are protectors and protected in equal measure. With them, I've always felt absolutely safe, and I was infinitely grateful to discover that fact hadn't changed one bit in my absence.

I'm not sure how long we slept, but It must've been at least an hour and a half, judging by how far the sun had crossed the sky by the time we woke up. We disentangled ourselves and sat up, favouring each other with stupid, sleepy grins. Ellie picked leaves out of Leo's hair, and I picked one out of hers. I shook my head vigorously to dislodge any leaves that may have been stuck to me, and my friends laughed when all I accomplished was to make myself dizzy.

I flopped backwards into Ellie's lap, and she plucked a leaf from my hair with the teasing comment, "Look, Victor. You're turning into a tree."

"Are you saying I'm tree-mendous?"

"Yes," she said. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

We climbed to our feet and brushed ourselves off. Not quite ready to call it a day, we wandered around the park, chatting about everything and nothing. When we passed by the grandstand, we saw there was a band just setting up for an outdoor concert, so we bought some snacks and bottled water and returned to get a good spot on the grass by the stage before the area started to fill up.

The band was a local one, and although they probably weren't going to make the Top 100 any time soon, they weren't too bad. We had fun and danced a bit and tried to sing along to some covers. Sadly, Ellie is as bad at singing as I am. Leo is the only one of us with any musical talent whatsoever. It didn't matter, though. Musical ability isn't a requirement to be a member of the team.

The sun was beginning to set by the time the band wrapped things up, and we made our way back to the spot where we'd left our bikes chained to the fence.

"What should we do now?" Ellie inquired. "Do you guys want to go to the Blue Velvet for some burgers and drinks or something?"

"I'd love to, but I gotta get going," Leo said. "I promised Uncle JP and Aunt Lin that I'd babysit the girls tonight while they're out."

"Seriously?" I said. "Aren't they too old to need a babysitter? They're like, fourteen and sixteen."

"How old were you when your mom let you stay home alone overnight?"

"Um... never?" I said. "If Mom had to be away overnight for some reason, I was always at your house, or Ellie's. The first time I stayed overnight anywhere by myself was when I had my own apartment."

"Right," Leo said. "Anyway, would you leave Isabella and Maddie home alone? They'd probably fatally wound each other if they were left unsupervised."

"Not much like your sisters," Ellie commented. "Alessandra and Kiki are practically joined at the hip."

Leo grinned. "Kind of like us."

"Yeah, except we're capable of wounding each other if we're left unsupervised," I said.

"Mostly because we're doing some crazy plan you guys came up with," Ellie pointed out.

"Us?" Leo said. "You come up with the craziest plans. Remember that time we decided to build our own hang glider? That was totally your idea."

"True, but you two are just reckless enough not to have said no."

We all laughed at that, and it felt so good. I remembered the adventures we used to have, and I recalled the hang glider incident all too well. It was lucky we'd only decided to jump off the roof of Uncle Stephen's garden shed, because, although the contraption we'd built kind of worked, it wasn't capable of sustained flight and we probably would've killed ourselves if we'd tried to jump off anything higher. As it was, Ellie had ended up spraining her ankle, and Leo had accidentally hit me on the head while we were trying to position the ladder to climb up to the shed roof. Somehow, Leo had been the only one unscathed, and we'd called him Super Leo for weeks afterward.

"A fine example of why we shouldn't be left unsupervised," I commented. "There was also the time we built the raft and became Willow Creek's first pirates, remember?"

Leo laughed. "It was all good until the cops found out."

"How were we supposed to know you're not allowed to sail homemade rafts in the canal?" said Ellie.

"Hey," I said. 'I was the one who said we should've stuck to sailing in the creek, in case you forgot."

"I thought your mom was going to lose it when the police car pulled up to the clinic with all three of us in the back," Ellie said. "It's one of those times when I wish I'd had a camera, just to capture the expression on her face."

"Your dad's reaction wasn't much better," I reminded her. "Not to mention how Aunt Millie screamed at me about accidentally almost drowning Leo."

"Mom overreacted," Leo said. "The way I remember it, I nearly drowned myself, and you were trying to rescue me. And like, I'm still here to talk about it, so obviously you succeeded. Mom should've been thanking you."

"I don't think she saw it that way at the time," I said.

"No, probably not," he conceded. He sighed. "I'd love to continue this, but I really have to get going. Catch you tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," I said.

"Ellie?"

"I'm off tomorrow," she said. "I'm definitely up for whatever you've got in mind."

"I have to work till three o'clock," he said. "After that, though?"

"Awesome," said Ellie.

"I'll text you in the morning, Leo," I told him. "We can do something when you get off work. I'll try to talk Yuri into joining us, too."

"Cool," Leo said. "The more the merrier. See you tomorrow."

"See you later, Leo," Ellie said.

We all gave each other a playful, exaggerated wave goodbye.

Leo unchained his bike, and walked it up to the road. Ellie and I followed him for a short distance, but then we stopped and watched him trot off in the direction of the municipal lot where he'd parked his car.

Ellie reached for my hand. "Just us, now."

I smiled, loving the familiarity of her hand in mine. "Want me to walk you home?"

"What about our bikes?"

"They're chained on," I said. "They'll be fine till morning. I want to take the slow route back to the house."

"Maybe I should walk you home," she said. "You can invite me in for homemade ice cream and a movie. You know, if your husband isn't the jealous type and doesn't mind me cuddling you on the couch, that is."

"Uh... about that," I said. "Yuri probably wouldn't like us cuddling, even if it is totally innocent, but you can still come over. Ice cream and a movie sounds awesome, and you can even stay the night if you want."

"I'd like that," she said. "If I'm staying over, we'll have to stop at my place for a minute so I can grab some stuff. So, you can walk me home, and then I'll walk you home. Everybody wins."

"Everybody wins," I echoed happily. "I feel like I always win when I get to be with you, though. I've missed you a lot."

"Me too," Ellie said. "You don't even know how excited I was when you told me you were coming home. I almost offered to meet you at the airport myself."

"Why didn't you?"

"Mostly because I thought I'd start crying all over you and make a fool of myself in front of your husband," she admitted. "That, and I didn't want to deny your mother the opportunity to be the first to see you."

"You think Mom didn't cry all over me?"

"I'll bet you cried all over her, too."

"Yeah," I confessed. "You shouldn't have worried about crying in front of Yuri. He's used to people crying in front of him by now."

"And by 'people' you mean yourself," Ellie teased.

"You know I cry over everything."

She squeezed my fingers gently. "I know. You're sensitive. Most guys would try to be all tough and macho, and keep that stuff in, but I like that you don't."

"Yuri says the same thing. He doesn't judge me for it."

"You wouldn't be with him if he did," Ellie said. "He sounds like a sweet guy. I'm looking forward to getting to know him better."

"I think you'll get along," I said. "Remember not to be too loud, and not to touch him, and it'll be fine."

"So, that's really a thing? He actually doesn't like to be touched? Like, at all? Because you guys look like you're all over each other in the pictures you send."

"He lets me touch him now, but generally, yeah. He has a lot of anxiety about being touched. Like, it took a while before he was comfortable with me doing it, so..." I shrugged one shoulder. "If you want to upset him, that's the way."

"Good to know," Ellie said. "I'll keep that in mind."

We walked along in silence for a while after that. The sun was sinking lower and the air was starting to cool off dramatically, the way it always does on autumn evenings here. After having acclimated to the consistent cold temperatures in Kiyomatsu, I barely felt the damp chill. It entertained me to think that two years ago, I would’ve been reaching for a sweater right about now.

Ellie pointed in the direction of the creek. "Look how gorgeous the trees are. Does it look like this in Mt. Komorebi?"

"Sort of," I said. "Down in the valley, the leaves change colour like this. I took Yuri to Hanamigawa for his birthday back in September, and this is kind of what it looked like, but without the willows and the creek."

"That's why they call this place Willow Creek," she said, sounding amused.

"Logical."

"Want to go down by the water before it gets too dark?"

"Okay," I said. "Take me to our spot."

'Our spot' is about half a kilometer downstream from the park. The creek runs slowly there, and there's a huge old tree that reminds me of Grandmother Willow from that one Disney movie. It's a little challenging to get to, because you have to scale the fence along the side of the road and climb down over an embankment, but once you're down next to the water, the ground is level again.

This was the place we sought out when there was something serious going on in our lives and we needed to talk it over. Sometimes all three of us would gather here, and sometimes only two. In any case, it was always a safe space for us. No one bothered us there. It was perfect for discussing things that we didn't want anyone else to hear.

Ellie and I sat facing each other, and I tried to think of how many times over the course of our lifetime that we'd positioned ourselves like this.

We were about eight years old when we found our spot for the first time, and it was due to Ellie wandering away from her father and getting lost. Me and Leo and Uncle Stephen had found her here, leaning on the fence and staring at the creek. She hadn't been scared. Once she realized she didn't know how to get back to the park, she'd stayed where she was and waited for help.

Clearly, she'd paid attention on the way back, because the next time we visited the spot, it was on purpose, and Ellie had told us that her mother was getting remarried and that she didn't want to be in the wedding. Leo and I had attempted to help her hatch a plan to avoid wearing a princess dress and trying to mind her manners around a bunch of people she didn't know, but all our scheming had been to no avail. She was forced into the frilly daffodil coloured monstrosity, and had an utterly horrible day. Leo and I saw some pictures after the fact. Ellie looked murderous in every single one.

"What's so funny?" Ellie demanded.

"Nothing's funny," I said.

"You're smirking."

"Oh." I shook my head. "Thinking about those pictures of you at your mom and Patrick's wedding in that gross yellow dress."

"Ugh." Ellie scrunched up her face. "Can you not remind me?"

"Sorry," I said. "I've been thinking about a lot of stuff today. Not all the memories are good ones for everybody, apparently."

"It's okay. I shouldn't be surprised that you're remembering a lot of stuff. I have as well. I guess it's the team being back together."

"Yeah," I said. "That's mostly what I've been thinking about. I want to spend as much time with you guys as I can. I don't want to waste a moment, and maybe I have more thoughts than moments."

"I hear you," Ellie said. She picked some long blades of grass and began idly weaving them together. "Know what I've been thinking about?"

"What?"

"All the fun we used to have on camping trips. Leo and I haven't done that since you left."

"Why not?"

"It's not the same without you," she said. "Know what we should do before you go? We should drive up to Granite Falls and camp for a couple of nights.”

"I don't know," I said. "I don't think Yuri would like that. He's not much for roughing it."

"He doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to," Ellie said. "Anyway, I was thinking you, me and Leo, just like old times."

"All right. I'll see if it's okay with Yuri."

"It's so weird that you're married," Ellie said. "I mean, it's great. I knew you'd find somebody at some point, and I'm happy for you. It's just strange, you know? You go away for two years, and you come back with a husband."

"You knew me and Yuri were together before I even left."

"Yeah, of course, but if I'm being honest, I never expected you to leave in the first place. I guess I didn't realize how serious your online relationship was."

"Maybe I didn't either, until I got there. It was only supposed to have been a visit, but once I was physically with him, I knew I never wanted to be apart from him."

"I get that," Ellie said. "There are some people you need to have in your life, right?"

"Yeah."

"And some people you have to leave behind to make that happen."

"I guess."

"There was a time when I thought you, me and Leo would be together forever, just like your mom and my dad, but I guess life doesn't always go how we imagine, does it?"

"No, it doesn't," I agreed. "I'm sorry I broke up the team, but no matter what, I'll always be your friend. I'm never going to be out of your life, even if we're not in the same place."

"I know," she said, "But, it's not the same."

"You're right," I said. "It's not."

"Sorry if this sounds selfish, but sometimes I wish you'd never gone there. To Mt. Komorebi."

"It's not selfish. It's honest." I said. "You want to know something?"

"What?"

"There's a part of me that wishes I'd never left Willow Creek."

"Really?" She said.

"Yeah."

“What about Yuri?”

"I love Yuri more than anything, and I don't regret being with him, but being so far away from everything and everyone else I love is super difficult. Sometimes, I feel like crying because nothing's familiar. And trying to be an adult when I don't think I'm ready and there's nobody to help me is just... terrifying as hell." I sighed and looked away from her. "All those feelings hit me really hard when I walked into Mom's house the other day, and I... I don't think I want to go back to Mt. Komorebi now."

“Does Yuri know that?”

“No,” I said. “He’s never going to know.”

“Don’t you think you should tell him?”

“What would be the point? It’d only upset him, and it’s not like I have a choice anyway. We both have jobs and responsibilities there, and Yuri’s family is there. Plus, my immigration process was finalized a couple months ago, remember? Don’t you think it’d be kind of stupid to leave a country I just got permanent resident status in?”

“It’s more stupid to make yourself miserable just because you think it’ll help somebody else stay happy,” Ellie said.

“I don’t hate living in Mt. Komorebi, and I’m not miserable all the time,” I said. “I didn’t think I’d miss boring old Willow Creek that much, that’s all, and the dumbest thing is, I didn’t even know how much I missed it until I was back. I don't know. I'll probably get over it once I'm in Mt. Komorebi again, though."

"You don't always have to get over stuff, you know."

"What am I supposed to do, then? I can't drown in self-pity continuously. It's easier to figure out some kind of way to let it go."

"Easier for who?" Ellie asked. "You have to live with it, so it can't be easy for you, and I can tell you it's not easy for your friends to watch. Obviously I don’t know Yuri that well, but I doubt it's easy for him, either. If he loves you, don’t you think he’d want you to be happy instead of torturing yourself trying to please everybody else?”

“He always says that. That he wants me to be happy.”

“So, what is it? You don’t believe him?”

“No, I do believe him, but…”

“But what?”

“This is going to sound dumb,” I said.

“Go on,” she said. “I’m used to you sounding dumb.”

“You ever love somebody so much that you want to keep them safe from everything that could possibly hurt them? Like, even bad feelings and stuff? That’s how I feel about Yuri,” I said.

“It’s impossible to protect someone from everything.”

“Yeah, I know it’s impossible,” I said. “But, that doesn’t stop me from wanting to do it anyway.”

“I’ve never loved anyone like that,” Ellie said. “I don’t think anyone’s ever loved me like that either, but then again, I’m not sure I’d want them to.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because, as much as I’d want my partner to be my hero, I’d prefer him to be honest and open with me if there was something he thought might hurt me. I wouldn’t want him hurting himself and suffering in silence because he thought it’d make my life easier.”

“But, what if he knew you couldn’t handle it?”

“If I really couldn’t handle it, I’d expect him to support me through it.” Ellie levelled her gaze at me. “If he didn’t ask me and was just assuming I couldn’t, I’d be mightily pissed off at him for lacking faith in me and underestimating my ability to cope.”

“Yuri isn’t like that. I don’t think he’s angry at me for wanting to protect him. He likes it when I protect him.”

“But, would he want you to protect him if you had to put yourself in harm’s way to do it? Unnecessarily in harm's way, I mean. Think about that before you answer.”

I did. I tried to imagine what Yuri would say if he knew how badly I was hurting, how he might respond. I pictured him putting his arms around me and letting me cry, like he did the night I’d told him what happened with Ren at the fitness center. He’d be patient while I stumbled my way through a clumsy explanation of my feelings, and he’d surprise me with his insight and his resilience. I know I shouldn’t be surprised by that any more, but sometimes I think I can’t see past his physical frailty and tiny stature, and how he always says he needs me and wants me to keep him safe. My desire to shelter him overshadows my own need for him to take care of me, and maybe sometimes I deny him the opportunity to show he’s capable of that, because I’m too determined to not be a burden to him.

I didn’t even bother to hold back my tears or try to conceal them from Ellie. She’d seen me cry enough that it didn’t matter any more. I had nothing to prove to her.

I sniffled. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Trust him," Ellie said. "Trust him the way you trust me and Leo." She reached across the space between us and placed her hand on my knee. "Make him part of the team."

Hearing her say that, I felt like she'd knocked all the air out of my body. The team was me, Ellie and Leo, and it was... everything. I often tell Yuri he's everything, but in that moment I started to feel scared that it wasn't really true. How could I love someone so intensely, and yet not trust him as completely as I trust my friends?

But, I do trust him, I insisted to myself. I trust him in so many ways that matter.

But not in the way that allows him to protect you.

That night at the hotel, Yuri promised that from now on, he'd protect me the way I protect him, and it'd sounded good in my ears, but I wondered if it had ever penetrated my heart or my mind enough for me to believe it.

I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand, but it was no use. "I love him so much," I managed to say. "How could I fail this hard at being a good partner for him?"

Ellie stroked my knee. "I don't think you failed. You know what Dad says. You've only failed if you stop trying. You're not giving up on him, are you?"

"N-no," I said. "I'd never do that."

"I didn't think so," she said. "You've just got some stuff to work on."

"It's all so hard," I said "Growing up and having relationships and dealing with real life in general. You know what I mean?"

"Nobody said it'd be easy. You didn't think it would be, did you?"

"No, but I wish it was easier."

"Me too," she said.

"How am I supposed to tell Yuri that I don't want to leave?"

"Just tell him. You know you have to leave in a couple weeks in any case, but if you don't tell him, how will he know you want to come back?"

"Do you think he'd want to live here? Like, permanently?"

Ellie smiled. "I think you'd know that better than I would. Honestly, Victor, talk to him. Let him help you work through whatever's going on inside your head. You told me before, he's good at that, so you should let him do it more often."

I nodded. "You're right."

"Naturally," she said. "Why else would I be the team leader?"

I laughed, even though I was still crying. "I love you, Ellie."

She got up, and held out a hand to me. I took her hand, and she pulled me up to my feet and straight into the tightest embrace.

"I love you, Victor," she said. "I will always love you and I'll never stop. You can go to the ends of the earth, and I'll still love you."

"The ends of the earth and back," I whispered, and suddenly, I remembered where that phrase had originated. Ellie had said it into my ear as she hugged me goodbye at the airport on the day I left for Mt. Komorebi. Unwittingly, I'd started saying it to Yuri, and he'd started saying it to me.

We stood together for a long time, and I found it easy to calm down and stop crying in the security of Ellie's arms.

Eventually, we both stepped back.

"You look awful," Ellie said. "Let's go to my house and get you some cold water and something to get that redness out of your face." She gave me a mischievous little smile. "Yuri won't want to be my friend if he thinks I did something to make you cry."

"It wasn't you," I said.

"A likely story. 'I was alone with your husband and he was crying, but it totally wasn't my fault, I swear'."

"Okay, maybe he'd be suspicious if you said it like that. But yeah, let's go to your house. You were going to get some stuff and come over, right? You still want to?"

"Only if you're not planning to have that conversation with Yuri tonight."

"I don't think I'm ready to have a deep discussion tonight," I admitted. "Come over and spend some time with us. Maybe we can figure out a way to make homemade ice cream with almond milk so Yuri can have some too, and if you're nice, we might even let you pick the movie."

"Maybe we should let Yuri pick the movie," Ellie said. "You and I would probably choose the same sort of thing, but I'm curious to find out what he's into."

"I hope you have a secret passion for historical romances," I said.

Ellie groaned. "Ugh.. big no to that. Now, I'm one hundred percent convinced of how much you love him. The Victor I know wouldn't sit through five minutes of a historical romance, so you've got to be doing it for him."

"You have no idea how many historical romances I've sat through for him," I said. "Mostly, I'm in it for the cuddling, though. He watches the movie, and I'm the warm and comfortable human cushion he sprawls on."

"Okay, then. Historical romance it is," Ellie said cheerfully. "I've got to see that. Like, I'm already dying of how cute it sounds like you guys are."

"I can't speak for me, but Yuri is pretty cute."

"Don't worry. You're cute too." She slipped her arm through mine. "Come on. You're going to walk me home, aren't you? We'd better get going if we want to have movie night and not stay up past bedtime."

"Right," I said. "Ice cream, movie and a sleepover. Everything might not be exactly like it used to be, but I'm glad some things haven't changed."

[barnesbabee]

‘I Hate You’ - Choi San x Reader

Summary: You hated San, and supposedly so did he. But what if he was just bad at getting your attention?

Pairing: Choi San x Reader

Words: If I had to guess I’d say 69

Genre: Smut, Fluff?, Angst

A/N: I turned this into a whole ass thing. I did my best lol hope I didn’t disappoint anyine. Enjoy xx💖

REQUESTS SUPER OPEN

“ ‘I hate you.’ ‘No you don’t.’ “ // “Why are you covered in mud?”

---- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING THE PROMPTS ANON ----

 "I swear to God San, if you don't give me back the fucking notebook I'm going to punch you." You threatened, tired of reaching for your own belongings.

   Every time you stretched your arms to get it, he'd hold it up higher.

    "Oh but I'd like to see that," his mouth approached your ear, so he could whisper to you "I want to see you lose control."

    You stomped your foot and pushed him away furiously.

    "You're so annoying!" You yelled at him.

    You were immediately shushed by two other students that were sitting somewhere in the library. 

     For some unknown reason, San loved to tease you and push you around. He wouldn't bully you or humiliate you, but he liked to poke fun at you from time to time and try his best to push you to your breaking point. He wanted you to break out of your goody-two-shoes persona, but you never gave in.

    San pursed his lips, to hold back a laugh, when he heard the other two students shushing you. 

    "You're impossible!" You whisper-yelled at him.

    You then collected the rest of your materials, shoved them in your backpack, and grabbed your umbrella. You turned your back to him and angrily made your way towards the door. San looked at the book in his hand and then at you, confused.

     "Y/N I still have your book!" He yelled, earning angry looks from everyone else in the library.

     You turned to face him, a piercing glare in your eyes at all times. You mouthed 'fucking keep it then' and left.

     The city looked gray that day. Clouds filled the sky and the raindrops fell violently on the floor. You opened your umbrella as quickly as possible to avoid getting soaked, and then started walking home, avoiding every little puddle on the sidewalk as to not get your shoes wet. That all went to Hell however, when you heard a motorcycle roaring behind you. You looked up from the ground and behind you. 

    San's motorcycle was speeding, and when he passed by you, he made sure to run over a muddy puddle, getting you not only soaked from head to toe, but also with mud stains all over. 

    You closed your eyes and dropped the umbrella, out of shock, as the brown droplets painted your body and clothes. San stopped his motorcycle not far away and walked towards you. 

    You remained immobile, still trying to wrap your head around what had happened, and thinking that maybe, maybe it had been an accident. However those thoughts quickly washed away as the male stepped closer to you and pushed his helmet up slightly, revealing a mischievous smirk.

     "Oh, poor girl... Why are you covered in mud? Whatever happened to yo-"

    You didn't let the male finish the sentence. Your hand flew across his face, colliding with his cheek in the process. San furrowed his eyebrows and didn't move for a second, still processing the sharp pain he felt in his cheek. Once he'd understood what happened, he grazed his fingers over his cheek and looked down at you. You were staring at him with tears of anger brimming in your eyes, gritted teeth and fists balled up by your sides.

     "You wanted me to snap!? Well, I just did! Are you happy!? Now fucking leave me alone!" You yelled at him.

    You made sure to bump your shoulder against him as you walked away, but his sudden grip on your wrist didn't allow you to move very far.

    "San, you are the most intolerable person I've ever met, please, let me go." You begged, without even glancing at him.

    "I'm sorry."

    You looked at him as if he was stupid, and the male sighed. His grip on your wrist loosened and he removed his helmet completely. He handed it to you and got on his bike.

    "Come on, put that on and get on the bike. I'll drive us to my place so you can change and wait for the rain to stop." He offered.

    You gave him an incredulous look and stepped back, while shaking your head negatively.

     "I'm definitely on getting on that with you as the driver." You said, pointing at the bike and then at him.

    He sighed once more.

    "Y/N get on the fucking bike, we're both soaking wet."

   You put the helmet on and got on the bike, still a little apprehensive about the whole scenario. San grabbed your hands and put them around his waist, so you'd be secure while riding with him. 

    It was a relatively short ride, but the whole time your heart was beating out of your chest, afraid that something would happen and you'd end up injured. You weren't a big fan of bikes, and being on one with San surely didn't make part of your plans.

    The second he stopped the motorcycle, you stepped off of it, breathing heavily. The male shook his head at you and laughed, as you two entered the apartment building. When you entered the elevator, you removed his helmet and handed it to him, mumbling a 'thank you'. He just smiled and nodded at you.

    His flat wasn't big nor small, it was the right size for a college student to live alone in. The kitchen and the living room were separated by a row of counters and by your right was a small hallway with a couple of doors.

     San took off his shoes and headed to one of the doors the second you two stepped in. You assumed it was the bathroom, since he carried two towels in his hands when he came back. He handed you one of them and you thanked him, then proceeding to dry off your hands, face, and hair. 

     You watched as the male stripped from his shirt and let the wet piece of cloth fall by his feet. You observed as his muscles flexed and moved under his skin. He was toned and very well built, a sight to see really, and in your defense, anyone would stare.

     San looked in your direction.

     "Are you eyeing me while I dry myself?" He asked, with a smirk.

    "I wasn’t- Well yes! Yes I am cause I can't believe you just stripped in front of a girl like that!" You complained.

    "You mean, you're shocked I stripped my shirt in my house to not get the floor wet?"

    Fuck, he had a point.

    You flipped him off and he just laughed at your reaction. 

    "Wait here a second, I'll get you dry clothes."

    He left for a couple of minutes, and when he came back he had on a new pair of grey joggers and a white t-shirt. He held some clothes in his hand that he gave to you.

    "I'm not changing with you standing there!" You told him.

    He turned his back to you.

    "I won't look!" 

    You stares at him for a second, with disapproval in your eyes, but started stripping anyway. You started by peeling your wet shirt off of you and your bra as well, as it was also wet, and then dried yourself off, pulling his t-shirt over your head as expeditiously as possible. 

   You repeated the process with your pants, and although you didn't want to go commando, you absolutely had to take off your panties, or else you'd just end up getting the pants he'd given you wet as well. 

   Once you were done you tapped on his shoulder. He turned around and smiled at you.

   "All done?" He asked.

   You simply nodded, and followed him farther into the house. He asked you to sit on the couch and turned on the tv for you. San disappeared for about five minutes and then came back with two servings of cup noodles. Your eyes instantly lit up as he handed you the snack.

    "That was cute." He told you as you dug into the ramen.

    You looked at him with a weirded-out look in your face and a raised eyebrow, as if you didn't understand.

    "The way you reacted to food," he explained and chuckled "it was cute."

    You just rolled your eyes and focused on eating and watching whatever was on tv.

     "Don't be rude!" He yelled at you, playfully.

     "Or what?" You teased.

    He set his cup of noodles down and approached his hands to your body in a weird way. 

    "What are you doing!?" You asked, a little freaked out.

     Before you could react, his hands tickled your sides. Your feet kicked the air and you squirmed on the couch whilst desperately trying not to let the noodles spill all over the floor.

    "Fine, fine! I'm sorry for being rude to you!"

     San backed away and resumed eating his food.

    "God, I hate you." You said, wearing a pout on your face.

    "No you don't."

    "I kinda do..." 

    Although you had whispered that while playing with the chopsticks in your hand, he had heard it clearly, and his heart sunk at the statement. His face fell and suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. San set his cup of noodles down on the small coffee table once more and looked at you with saddened eyes.

    "I... I'm sorry."

    "San, you've already apologized and gave me dry clothes and food, it's okay."

    He shook his head, pursed his lips and averted his look.

    "Not because of that, because of... well, everything."

   You looked at him in disbelief. The sincerity in his voice scared you, you couldn't tell if he was making fun of you once more or if he actually meant it. You reached your hand out to touch his arm. Your fingers grazed over his skin lightly, as if reaching for him burned your fingertips.

    His eyes followed your hand and he let out a deep breath.

    "Listen I don't have the best behavior, I know, but I wanted to get your attention and then... And then you looked so cute when you were angry and I liked to see the effect I had on you but I hated to see you nearly cry today. I'm sorry I don't have a better approach."

    You were visibly taken aback about what he said. You expected anything to come out out of San's mouth, but certainly not a confession like that.

    "San, do you- do you like me?"

    His eyes widened at the realization. He looked at you for a second, and his expression seemed... distressed. San was scared that he had, in fact, gone too far and there was no going back now. The man stood up abruptly, pulling away from your touch in the process, and locked his eyes on the floor.

    "What!? No! I mean maybe... I- I don't know Y/N."

    You stood up and looked at him.

    "San I don't know what to say."

    He looked deep into your eyes. The light over you was very dim, and the particular scenario gave you two a sense of comfort.

    "Then don't say anything."

    San placed his middle and index finger under your chin and tipped it upwards. His lips encountered yours in a sweet, soft kiss. 

    The situation felt wrong, but San's lips on yours felt right. You never imagined a reckless man like him to kiss so delicately. While your head couldn't formulate a proper response, your body had already sorted it out. Your hands played with the hairs on his nape as you (gladly) accepted his kiss. 

    Although San's hands stayed on your hips, you could tell he wanted to move them to your ass, but he was afraid you'd push him away. So you took one of his hands in yours, and pulled them down to the place he yearned to touch.

     The male pulled away from the kiss and looked at you suggestively and pleasantly surprised at your demeanor.

    "After tonight you won't be calling me a goody-two-shoes anymore." You whispered in his ear.

    He groaned and grabbed a hand full of your ass as a response as he connected your lips once more.

    You moaned at his movements and he took the chance to slip his tongue in your mouth. He took it slow, for you, since he didn't want you feeling uncomfortable.

    You pulled away for air, and San's hand came up to your face to caress your cheek. He kissed your forehead and laced his fingers with yours. The male started walking towards one of the other doors, which you assumed was his bedroom. 

    San opened the door, displaying a small blue-colored room with one desk, a wardrobe, and a king-sized bed. 

    He gently pushed you down onto the bed and removed his shirt, before hovering over you and pinning your hands above your head. 

   San left a soft kiss on your lips, then one on your jaw, one on your neck, and finally one on your collar bone. 

   "Is this your first time?" He asked you.

   You nodded shyly, a little embarrassed at the fact. His lips kissed the spot under your ear.

    "Don't worry, I'll make your first time unforgettable."

     His right index finger traced your body, until he reached the waistband of the pants you wore. San's lips started playing with your neck while his hand started pulling the piece of clothing down. Once they were completely off, San looked down. No panties.

    "Fuck Y/N..." He groaned at the sight.

     He got rid of his pants and boxers, and you took the hint, stripping from your shirt as well. You suddenly felt very exposed, and so you tried to cover yourself with your hands. San gently grabbed your wrists and uncovered your body. He then placed a kiss between your breasts and one to your pretty, plump lips.

    "You're gorgeous... Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

    San reached for the top drawer of his nightstand and retrieved a condom, which he placed on the tip of his hardened cock and rolled down.

     He placed his member at your entrance and pushed in, slowly and carefully, as to not hurt you. 

    You groaned and gripped the sheets.

    "You okay?" He asked.

    You took a couple of deep breaths and looked at him. Panting, messed up hair, cheeks flushed, and cock deep inside you. Fuck he was gorgeous.

    "Y-yes, move." 

    At that, his hips started moving along to a moderate rhythm, until he saw you become comfortable. The second a moan escaped your mouth, San sped up his pace. He swung one of your legs over his shoulder and gripped your thighs for stability.

    You were very sensitive, and because it was your first time, your high came very soon. 

   It took a couple more thrusts from San for you to start feeling something build up in the pit of your stomach.

   "San, oh God, I think I'm cumming."

   "Let it out baby, cum for me."

   The pet name was your kryptonite, and as soon as it fell from San's lips you climaxed. You called for his name as your back arched and your eyes shut close. 

   The even tighter feeling of your pussy and your pretty moan caused San to release onto the condom with a groan.

    Neither of you moved for a couple of seconds, letting the moment sink in. Eventually, San pulled out and threw the condom somewhere, before collapsing next to you. 

    You looked at each other and smiled. You giggled, a little embarrassed at what you had just done, and buried your head in the crook of his neck.

    "Hey Y/N?" He called, getting your attention "Spend the night?”