#even eleanor is cute bro

[sweetronancer]

why are all the female characters in this game so so so so-

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[eadanga]

Royal Love Part 3

Summary: Now 18 Eleanor heads to her first year of college and falls for a handsome musician. Can she keep her royal secret be with her true love?

A/N: This series is for @kingliam2019���​ one of my 500 followers giveaway winners

Eleanor lays on her bed her books in her lap Ugh I hate math so much formulas well I better solve them. Her phone buzzes in her pocket she quickly answers “Hi dad”

“Hey sweetie hope I’m not disturbing you”

“No but isn’t 11pm over there? Why are you up?”

“Well someone didn’t want to go to sleep till he said hi”

Eleanor giggles “Ok ok put him on”

Alex’s bright smiling face comes up “Hi sis!”

“Hey little bro how are you?”

“Fine how’s school? Is it cool?”

Eleanor smiles “Eh it’s alright lots of work to be done”

“Oooh do you have recess like mine?”

“No I don’t I mean we can take breaks whenever the only thing cool here is the food and lots of clubs think I’ll join one”

Alex jumps up and down “Daddy I wanna go to Eleanor’s school she said they have good food!”

Liam chuckles “You can’t go to school for food son”

“But it sounds like fun Daddy”

Eleanor laughed “The work isn’t fun so much work”

“Boo work”

Eleanor giggled “Now you should get to bed”

“Nooooo I wanna talk to you more”

“You can talk to me tomorrow lil bro”

“You promise?”

Eleanor nods “Yes”

“Yay ok I’ll go to bed now”

“Good night lil bro”

Liam comes into the frame “Alright off to bed with you”

“Night daddy”

“Night my prince” Alex skips off to his room as Liam turns back to Eleanor “Glad everything is well there”

“It is dad how’s mom?”

Liam chuckles “She pasted out as soon as she hit the bed she didn’t even say good night”

Eleanor laughs “Well she is pregnant dad how much longer till”

“I think about 2 more months”

“Let me know as soon as it happens”

“I will sweetie I’ll let you get back to school”

“Ok dad have a good night”

“Same to you I love you my princess”

“Love you too dad”

Eleanor hangs up the phone and continues studying before her door swings open and Marissa runs in “Girl what are you still doing in bed get dressed the game is about to start!”

“I will just let me -”

“Oh no” Marissa pulls her out of bed “You can do that later now come on get dressed”

Eleanor giggles “Ok just let go of me!”

Marissa lets her go and grins as she runs out the door “Hurry!”

Eleanor quickly gets dressed and meets Marissa outside as they walk Marissa turns to her “Hey I heard you on the phone your mom’s having baby?”

“Yeah she is about 2 months to go”

Marissa claps her hands “Ooooh what is it? A girl???”

“Yeah”

Marissa jumps up and down squealing “Ahhhh! How cute if you need a babysitter I’m available”

Eleanor giggles “Don’t worry my dad’s gonna have plenty of nannies”

“Awwww but can I at least see her like everyday?”

“Think it maybe hard for you to get to Cordonia”

“I’ll live there then”

Eleanor laughs “What about your family back home”

“Oh you’re right they won’t like that” They arrive at the football game and take their seats in the bleachers “Oh look Cole’s already one the field and once we win you can bet there’s gonna be a party”

“How do you know we’re going to win?”

“Positive vibes bestie we are gonna win I know it and with Cole and Austin that’s our captain we’re unstoppable” Eleanor spots Cole in a huddle and he looks up at her and smiles. Eleanor blushes she turns to Marissa who smirks

“I saw that”

“Saw what? Nothing happened”

“Mmhmm so when’s your wedding”

“Marissa!” Eleanor playfully shoves her as she laughs

The Raven’s win the game beating the Eagles 21-15. Everyone runs onto the field to congratulate them. Marissa looks at the crowd “We’re not gonna get through that we’ll see them all at the party” Eleanor nods and they walk back to the dorms.

A voice calls out to them “Hey Eleanor!” They turn and see Cole running towards them

“Oh hi Cole”

“Hey did you enjoy the game?”

“Yeah it was awesome but shouldn’t you be with the team celebrating?”

“I’ll celebrate at the party” He grins “I see you made friends with this one surprised you’re able to handle her crazy self”

Marissa rolls her eyes “Oh please I’m awesome to be around right Ellie?”

“Ellie?”

“That’s my nickname for you can you I call you that”

Eleanor smiles “Sure”

“Yay” Marissa throws her hands around her neck

Eleanor giggles and pulls her off “You two know each other?”

“She didn’t tell you? We’re cousins”

Eleanor’s eyes go wide and turns to Marissa “You are?”

“Yeah but it’s not a big deal everyone has a cousin”

Eleanor laughs “Of course”

“So are you guys coming to the party?”

Marissa grabs Eleanor’s arms grinning huge “Of course we are”

Cole chuckles “I think Eleanor can answer”

Eleanor giggles “If I say no she’ll drag me there”

“You know me so well”

Cole laughs then smiles “I’ll see you there”

They head back to the dorm and get ready for the party. They head to the party and see it in full swing. Marissa grins “I love this party”

“Me too” Eleanor turns to her “So Cole’s your cousin?”

“He’s more of my big brother always been there for me another reason why I came to this school so at least I’ll have one person I know here”

Cole waves them over and they head to where he’s standing “Your drinks ladies”

“Thanks” Eleanor takes a sip “Congratulations on the win”

“Thanks but it belongs to everyone we all worked hard”

Marissa grins “I knew all those years of football paid off”

Cole chuckles “It did maybe one day I’ll go pro”

“When you do we want invites to all the Hollywood parties”

Cole laughs “Of course”

Marissa frowns “Incoming bitch”

They look and see Alyssa heading towards them “Hi Cole baby you did good tonight”

Cole grits his teeth “Thanks”

Alyssa gives him a flirtatious smile running her fingernail down his arm “So how about we go dance?”

Cole removes his hand “Alyssa stop it! We’re not together anymore!”

“But I miss you baby I know I made a mistake but -”

“It was way more than a mistake now go bother Austin or someone else long as it’s not me”

“But Cole baby”

Marissa steps forward “You heard what he said”

“Oh Marissa didn’t see you” Alyssa sneers “You still scooping out horse crap? Cause you smell horrible farm girl”

“You little”

“Don’t talk to my cousin like that”

“Oh Cole baby I know it must be a disgrace to have such a poor farm cousin. People like us don’t need to be associated with people like her”

Eleanor stepped forward “I’ll shut my mouth if I were you”

“And who are you loser?”

“Someone who has more decency and better class than you. Doesn’t matter whether her family has money or not she’s still human like us. Though I don’t think you’re a human being you’re just an insecure spoiled brat that looks down at others to make yourself seem better than anyone else when you’re not”

Alyssa fumes “How dare you talk to me like that?! You”

“Why don’t you go screech somewhere else you’re already hurting my ears”

Alyssa jabs a finger at them “You don’t want to mess with me know your place losers. Cole baby I know these losers brainwashed you but I’ll bring you back to your senses” She struts away

Cole turns to Eleanor “Wow I’ve never heard anyone talk to Alyssa like that before”

“Yeah” Marissa smiles “Thanks for everything you said”

“It was nothing there’s always people like her in Cordonia”

“You’re from Cordonia?”

“Yeah born and raised”

Cole smiles “I knew by your foreign accent you we’re from somewhere”

“Well looks like I’m not needed for this convo I’m gonna get another drink and check out the guys” Marissa winks and walks away

Eleanor rolls her eyes as she turns to Cole who smiles “So you wanna take a walk with me?”

“Of course”

They walk out the party and walk down the path to the dorms “This is nice peace and quiet away from all the drunken people and loud music”

Eleanor giggles “Yeah”

“Listen sorry about Alyssa”

“It’s fine Marissa told me she was your ex”

“Unfortunately yeah and she cheated with some guy at one of the dorm parties and yet she thinks I’ll take her back”

“Marissa said she just wants your money”

Cole sighs “Yup that’s obvious my family is very wealthy my dad’s a businessman and so is Alyssa’s”

“So you’ve known her a long time?”

“Just met her when I got to college I started dating her after we one our first game then Marissa told me she was cheating and I saw it with my own eyes broke up with her right there and then I will never get back with her I don’t date cheaters”

“I can understand”

“Should have broken up with her the minute I heard she was bothering Marissa she didn’t tell me cause she wanted me to be happy but I care about her well being too”

“Yeah she said your like her brother”

“I tried to be her own brothers are married and moved to different states so I always tried to be there for her” They reach the dorms and Cole smiles “I’ve never told anyone this thanks for listening”

“It was my pleasure and thanks for walking with me”

“Not a problem hey you wanna get coffee tomorrow?”

“Of course I’ll would love to”

“Great see you then” Cole waves then jogs off

Eleanor smiles and waves she felt heart racing What is this feeling I’m getting in my chest

Tags: @indiacater @mfackenthal @the-soot-sprite @princess-geek  @gkittylove99 @iaminlovewithtrr​  @twinkleallnight​

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Brotps

Ahh... to be a pair of bros trying to survive the dreadful world of the apocalypse together...to have a bro who watches your back so that walkers don’t get the drop on you, and to have a bro who is willing to actually listen to you when things are extra rough and you need support.... to probably watch your bro die a super shitty death because it’s twdg and you have no control over the situation...

Good times. 

So yeah, I wanna talk about some of my favorite brotps across this series. We tend to put more focus on romantic duos rather than friendships, so why not shine a spotlight on some platonic love, y’know? 

Also wanna note that I’m more talking canon brotps... as in I’m using what the actual games gave us rather than going off of headcanon... if that makes sense. So like, as much as I could like to put something like brotp Clementine and Mitch on the list since they’re one of my favorites to write, there isn’t enough in the actual text to justify putting them in a top 5. Understand? Cool? Cool. 

5. AJ and Tenn

I have such a soft spot for these two... which is super unfortunate since Tenn always ends up dead whenever I replay TFS because I refuse to have a dead or tongueless Louis by the end..... but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the friendship between these two before tragedy strikes. 

If you’re brave enough to not trust AJ, therefore sacrificing Louis or Violet, Tenn survives to the end of the season where he and AJ have a really nice heart to heart. If you haven’t at least watched how the scene plays out, I recommend it. 

I love the idea of AJ having someone closer to his age that he can have as a buddy, and I love the idea of Tenn learning how to be a better survivor from AJ. They can teach each other how to be better, y’know? 

Plus, it’s cute to hear AJ say that he likes Tenn the most, that he’s his first real friend. Somethin’ real wholesome about that. 

...Which again, adds to the tragedy of trusting AJ. Sigh. 

4. Javi and Tripp

I know I’ve said in the past that I wish these two could’ve had an actual romance, but y’know, we gotta accept that it’s never gonna happen in canon.... sigh. 

However, it’d be a sin to overlook the bromance these two have. 

Sure, they got off to a rocky start after Clementine kinda murdered that dude, but that doesn’t stop them from developing a friendship over the course of the season. 

One of my favorite moments between the two is when Tripp confides in Javi about his feelings for Eleanor, and in turn, Javi can explain what’s going on with him and Kate. While I disagree with the love interests actually being talked about, it’s still a quiet, real moment between them. Tripp isn’t afraid to be a bit of a poet when talking about his feelings, and Javi is supportive of that. Two bros who listen to each other? Love that. 

Also there’s something so damn tragic about Javi wanting to save his bro when Joan decides to be a proper antagonist and does the ol’ switcheroo on him. 

All in all, love this bro dynamic and will be forever salty that Tripp has two unpreventable deaths. 

3. Lee and Doug

I won’t talk too much about this one because I already covered it in my Top 5 Reasons Doug's Pretty Great, but I gotta put them on the list. So, to summarize:

Lee and Doug are the real bros of S1. Y’all thought it was Lee and Kenny? Nah man. When you’re friendship is so fragile that it could totally break with one single disagreement, then I can’t say it’s all that great. And yeah, you could argue that Doug is only Lee’s bro is you save him, and that’s true because otherwise, he’s super dead.

But after saving him, if you disagree with Doug on anything, he doesn’t immediately get all “Ya saved me ONE time, Lee! What have ya done fer me lately?? >:(” In fact, I’d argue that even if things went down differently, Doug would still be a good bro to Lee. 

So Doug wins the bro award. 

The two of them care about each other, from Lee worrying about Doug’s mental health, to Doug going out of his way to save Lee’s life at the dairy, to them having genuine feeling conversations. 

Again, want more details then go read the previous T5F. Just know that they’re best bros and I’ll die on this hill. 

2. Michonne and Pete

The Michonne mini-series gets a bad rap and that’s not okay. If you're one of many who skip this one when going through the series then shame because you’re missing out on one of the best pair of bros in this series-- Michonne and Pete. 

Listen, Michonne and Pete are great. They’re a couple of bros who have each others backs at all times, Pete cares so deeply about Michonne’s mental health and making she she has what she needs, Michonne feeling comfortable enough with Pete in confide in him about her daughters and the visions she has of them, and they’re more than willing to fight and sacrifice themselves for the other if necessary. 

Sure, they disagree on things, but their friendship isn’t built on “you have to agree with me” so they can actually work things out and be better for it. 

I just love them, okay? Pete wants her to feel like part of the crew and give her a safe space, and Michonne wants to help him in anyway she can, I just.... no one talks about them and it’s not okay. 

Go play Michonne, even if just for these two. They’re worth it. 

1. Clementine and AJ

Surprise.... but not really. 

C’mon, I think we all know that Clementine and AJ are the ultimate bros. Do I even need to explain? Probably not, but I will anyway. 

Clementine has know AJ since he was born, she has cared for him and did everything she could to get him back-- good and bad things. She could’ve said, “A baby? Fuck that.” but she didn’t, she took little baby AJ and protected and raised him. And we already know that AJ would do whatever he had to in order to protect Clementine back. 

True, the relationship isn’t perfect and miscommunication is, uh... a thing sometimes, but together they grow and become better. Even AJ makes terrible mistakes [y’know... like murder] she promises to help him atone... unless you’re one of the ones who tells him he’s justified which like no judgement or anything but..... y’know. Maybe a little side eye.

Anyway, more than that, they play off each other well and feel like two people who have know each other for years, they feel like a pair of siblings trying to survive in this shitty world and find a home together. 

And can’t forget to mention the cave scene. Not the one with James, but the one where AJ gets upset and the two of them talk some shit out. Don’t get me wrong, I love the James cave scene for how wild it is, but there’s something about the cave scene where it’s just Clementine and AJ, and the choice to trust him or not. 

Oh, and the barn scene? I mean.... c’mon. 

Over all, as far as platonic relationships and brotps go, Clementine and AJ are my favorite. Could write an essay on them and why their dynamic is one of the best parts of TFS but that’s not what we’re here to do. 

Clementine and AJ.... bros for life. 

---

Honorable Mentions

- AJ and Louis.... bros even after everything that went down with Marlon and Tenn.  -Clementine and Rosie. Rosie is best girl.  -Lee and Omid. Two history nerds who should’ve have more bro-time.  -Kenny and his mustache. -Lee and Ben. Yeah, I stand by it. I won’t shut up until someone gives me my Lee and Ben buddy cop dramedy.  -Mitch and Willy until the dumb thing happened.  -Clementine and Lee would count, too, but only really the second half of s1. -Nick and Luke but only for two episodes. -Louis and Violet’s friendship routes are pretty good, too. 

---

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with my picks? What are some of your favorite brotps? Lemme know! 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

—

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Best Executed Deaths

[sunnyluna]

To the One Direction Fandom,

Okay, so here’s the thing. This fandom has been here for almost a whole decade, which is a long ass time LMFAOO. But most of the time, our fandom has been divided. Why? Well here’s the thing... a lot of the fandom ship Harry and Louis together (a lot but not all). While some people think that Harry and Louis at some point were or still are in a relationship or were in love — others think they weren’t. That they were just super close friends.

I am not going to lie, I kinda am a Larry (still questioning it but that’s not the point!), but hear me out. I am not writing this post to persuade others to think Larry is real. Because I am not going to do that. I am writing this to let people know that this division in our fandom needs to come to a stop. I am the kind of Larry shipper who doesn’t push Louis and Harry’s life’s together and bashes anyone who has been or is Harry’s or Louis’ significant other. I can never come to that. Why? Because I stan Harry’s saying of TPWK. Wether Larry was real or not I do not want to ever spread hate on someone Harry or Louis have been/are in love with.

I ship Larry, yea. But I also ship Harry/Louis with HAPPINESS. I don’t care who it is, I want to see those two boys happy. If it is both of them together or with someone else, I want them to be happy. If Louis loves Eleanor (who I am 100% sure is a super nice person) then please respect that. Don’t hate on her, she’s a human being guys. She doesn’t deserve the hate she gets on a daily because she’s dating 1/2 of the Larry ship. Yes, we can in throw in jokes here and there as long as they are NOT offensive and rude towards her or the rest of the girls Harry/Louis have been associated with. Imagine if you were one of them? Would you like the hate they get? Please stop and ask yourself ‘Would I like if someone said that to me?’

But also, towards the people who don’t ship Larry. Please, don’t be rude towards the people who ship Larry, guys. Respect their opinion/beliefs. Don’t call them “delusional” or anything else, bc that was can be offensive. Hell, I find that rude when I see people tell that to Larry’s who feel strong about their ship. There’s other ways to disagree with someone like: “I respected your opinion, but...” or “I see where you’re coming from or why you believe that, but...” Yea, some of Larry’s can and will be super pushy but not ALL Larry’s are like that. Just remember we are all still human beings and we all have feelings. Treat people with kindness, even when you don’t agree with them.

Another subject I want to touch... I know this is long sorry :( but please stop sexualizing the boys. Yes, I mean ALL of them. They are not objects, they are human beings. Girls... you don’t like it when guys sexualize you... what makes you think boys don’t like it either? Yes, we all know the boys are attractive, but please don’t be disrespectful either. They are adorable human beings who also would want people to see them for their music and accomplishments rather than their looks.

Can I also talk about the hate our adorable boy Liam Payne gets? It’s getting out of hand. I understand what he did was wrong, I understand where some of you guys are coming from and why you are angry. But he has feelings. He is a human being. He has been struggling with mental health issues, guys. He doesn’t look as healthy as he used to be. Stop and think before you say something remotely rude towards someone. I hate seeing Liam getting hated on, on a daily even when he’s not doing anything wrong. Liam Payne, is an adorable human being who is 1/5 of One Direction. He is Daddy Direction, the boy who has a phobia of spoon, has been bullied before, only has one kidney, was born dead and cried when watching 1D’s old video diaries. Liam Payne, is an handsome and cute human being who deserves all of the love and appreciation in the world. Please stop attacking him for everything he does, he’s a person who needs love and appreciation, like the rest of the boys.

We love Liam, in this house.

We love Louis, in this house.

We love Niall, in this house.

We love Zayn, in this house.

We love Harry, in this house.

Talking about appreciation :))) I understand that some of you have been with the boys since 1D days, I completely understand. But please, let the boys be questioned about their music and success too, not everything in their lives is about 1D. Ask them questions about their albums or anything that has to do with their recent accomplishments. Sure, it doesn’t hurt to ask them about 1D once in a while but I also want them to have questions about their recent success that they worked so hard on. For example, I would kill to ask them:

What was your hardest song that took you forever to write?

What inspired you the most in your music?

What’s your usual environment when writing songs?

Is it hard to chose which songs to put on the album and which ones you don’t?

When are you dropping Anna and Medicine, Harry?

Which song makes you feel emotional, if so why does it? (They don’t gotta say why, but I would love to hear the reason behind it ☹️)

Niall, can we have a golf match? (I play golf LOLL, doesn’t hurt to ask 😫) also, what inspired you to write San Francisco? Do you think it would be best to listen to it during night or day? Does San Francisco have a special meaning to you? (My fav song off of his album 😫❤️! ‘There’s sum about that song that makes me wanna get up and BUST A MOVE!’)

Louis, with everything that happened in your life... how do you do it? How do you manage to stay happy, love? (He is such a strong person omg 🥺, anyways that question is too personal my anxiety could never ask such a personal question) Have you ever thought about doing a collab with someone? If so, who? Why?

Harry, how do you manage to stay away from social media? What distracts you from staying away? I want to be able to do that, but it’s like I’m sucked in and can’t let go. Also, I know you said that the perfect time to listen to ‘Golden,’ would be driving around Malibu at sunset, but what about Canyon Moon? What type of vibe does that song give you?

Liam, did you plan to have a dance routine for Strip That Down? How long did it take you to learn the dance routine? Also, how did you find yourself? How did you know what type of style your music was going to be?

Zayn, in your album Mind of Mine, why did you add the unique song, ‘INTERMISSION: fLoWer’ to your album? How did you come up with the idea of this unique and different piece?

FINAL STATEMENT, if you are a stan of one of the boys individually, PLEASE I beg you, DO NOT HATE ON THE BOYS. It hurts me to see individual stans hate on the other boys. All of them at some point were best friends and super close, they spent YEARS traveling with each other. They were all in a band together at some point. They were together for five years (Zayn four... I still cry) they were there for each other — lowest and highest moments.

And even now they all still support each other like:

Zayn saying watching Niall’s success was like a big bro moment for him.

Harry and Louis txt and congratulating each other for their successful albums/singles.

Louis and Liam mini reunions!

Louis at Niall’s concert, supporting him.

Niall at Harry’s concert, supporting him.

Liam congratulating Zayn and Gigi bc they are expecting!! (Still can’t believe it, I cry! I’m so happy for them!)

Harry stating that he doesn’t regret any moment in 1D.

Louis congradulating Niall for his album, ‘Heartbreak Weather’.

There’s probably even more moments but I can’t think of any of them right now. Anyways, they all still have respect towards each other. No bad blood between them, they are adults who were at some point friends. Respect that, don’t drag them and spread hate.

Directioners are crazy. If they see you hating on one of those five adorable beans — they will come for you.

I’m just playing... or am I??? Kidding, but for real guys. Stop with all the drama and hate. Be respectful and kind towards each other!

Anyways STREAM: Heartbreak Weather, Walls, Fine Line, LP1, Icarus Falls!!

Listen to: HS1, Flicker, Mind Of Mine, Up All Night, Take Me Home, Midnight Memories, Four & Made In The A.M

PEACE OUT! YAYEEE 😽

ALL LOVE, L

[siewmai]

tagged by @amatterofcomplication!

name four fictional characters that showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

i don’t really tend to identify with characters, but... amy santiago from b99 (by the book, nerdy, old-school, overachieving, competitive, respects authority) + chidi anagonye from the good place (perpetually stressed, academically inclined, philosophical, always trying to make sense of the world) + eleanor shellstrop from the good place (loyal, rude, seeking comfort and stability, inclined towards leadership, lazy, equal parts selfish and selfless) + billi from the farewell (chinese girl feeling out of place in her own family and in her culture, torn between two worlds, sentimental, artistic) 

aesthetic.

citycore + nostalgiacore

favourite musical/play. (if you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

favourite local play (trilogy) would be invitation to treat, favourite local musical would be high class for sentimental reasons. favourite play outside of the country would be circle mirror transformation and favourite musical outside of the country would be rent 

what is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

any time my ex-teachers have praised me for being mature, intelligent, and/or an excellent writer 

how many times have you been in love?

i crush on someone new like every week but i consider myself to have only really fallen for four girls ever 

embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now.

i once asked a very cute, fairly well-known/popular local radio dj out while semi-drunk at a friend’s party. she laughed and very gently rejected me and wished me well. found out five years later that she got herself a girlfriend so my younger self is at least satisfied that my idiot ass didn’t ask out a straight girl 

favourite disney/pixar movie.

i’m not really a fan of animated movies but i token-ly like mulan because it was asian (and specifically chinese) representation 

favourite flower or plant.

MONSTERAS!!!!!!! i grew one in my childhood flat and brought it with me when we moved house it was my BABY 

favourite holiday

halloween, because it’s fun and i can dress up and celebrate with my friends + it’s set at a time of year when academic responsibilities are usually winding down so everyone’s feeling less stressed + i don’t have to deal with annoying relatives the way i would at lunar new year or christmas 

name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

scrolling through my old class instagram, playing pubg with my friends, seeing dogs on our nightly walk to the park 

what song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

knowing by adele wong because it’s my favourite song in the entire world 

name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

talking to some of the few people in the world i truly love and respect

what do/did/would you study in college?

arts management

which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

plain black top, denim shorts, cute ankle socks, the white sneakers my ex-boss gave me 

what is a quote you live by?

in three words i can sum up everything i’ve learned about life. it goes on

name the funniest playlist name you have.

i’m not really a ‘funny playlist name’ person but i do have one just titled ‘gay’ and it’s all janelle monae songs 

make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

TRASH BROS 

what’s a secret dream of yours?

to actually write a proper fucking play worthy of being performed and published by ethos books 

what is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

stay gay, stay loud, things change and it’s okay, things get hard but they lead you to good places, everything unexpected that happens to you eventually becomes something great you learn to love, stay loyal to places you came from, and all curses end in time

who is your favorite favorite family member? (if you have no good family members, feel free to include found family.)

my mum is the best 

tagging anyone who wants to do this! tag me i like seeing responses : )

[kyn19]

1 through 70, thanks.

Haha tall order, but I got you! All answers under the cut, to spare people’s dashes lmao

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yes, my mom and I are close friends.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

I’ve said it to several of my friends today lol including @backwardswriter and @annamholla

03: Do you regret anything?

Pfft of course. I have nightly mental flashcards of my missteps forcibly played in my mind #anxiety

04: Are you insecure?

you betcha

05: What is your relationship status?

untethered

06: How do you want to die?

Ideally frozen, so that nothing oozes or rots

07: What did you last eat?

Does coffee count?

08: Played any sports?

I played soccer for the first half of my life, but both my body and I are extremely unathletic lmao

09: Do you bite your nails?

Unfortunately yes

10: When was your last physical fight?

Any time I spend time with my brother

11: Do you like someone?

I assume this means romantically, so that’s a hard no. #aromantic

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

bahahaha hell yea. I think the longest I’ve gone without sleep is 3 days straight?

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Oh definitely, so so sooooo many people. Have you seen that orange Jabba that claims to lead my country? #NotMyPresident

14: Do you miss someone?

Some friends and many dogs.

15: Have any pets?

Yes, I have a fur-daughter that lives with my grandparents :3

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Hungry lol

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Yeah, but honestly I try not to bc I’m really germophobic

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Deathly :(

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Oh hells yeah. Ya girl wanna be a pirate!!!

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

That person’s apartment

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Berry picking!!!! (weather permitting)

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Fuck no 

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Yes, I have standard ear piercings and (sadly now closed, but intending to get repierced) both nipples.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

My best subjects in grade school were English and Art. In college, probably my craft classes (I was a Writing major).

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

No, they’re in the past for a reason.

26: What are you craving right now?

Jamaican jerk chicken

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Lol yeah

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Twice

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes, but I feel like the phrasing of this question insinuates that I made them cry because of something mean or wrong that I did, which was not the case.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Racists ofc

31: Does somebody love you?

Yes I am very loved by my family & friends! (again, no romo)

32: What is your favourite color?

Black, followed closely by pink

33: Do you have trust issues?

lmao def

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I don’t remember my dream from last night, but the night before had lots of car chases in it

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My grandma. We both angry-cried after 1.5 hrs of trying to educate my grandfather about racial discrimination in America. It was like talking to a brick wall of ego and privilege.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Yes, but with time I usually take it back.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

ooooo that’s a good and tough question. I think it’s easier to forgive. That being said, I would not say that I’m a forgiving person. Nor do I think it should be doled out easily, but I know forgiveness is a deeply personal matter. My whole philosophy on it is “even if you forgive, never forget.”

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

lmao not by a long shot. 2020 is wild bro

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

If we’re including VERY first kiss, even like as a little kid, then 4. If we’re talking like post-puberty, then 14.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

No, I do not like being nude.

51: Favourite food?

Horrible question. I don’t trust anyone who has a definitive answer to this. That being said, whenever people ask me, I just say cake or bread to make conversation easier.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

No, not really. I think a lot of things do, but definitely not everything or even most things.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Watched Eleanor Neale videos on YouTube (everyone should check her out if you like true crime; I’m obsessed with her, she’s been my nightly ritual for like a month now) #EleanorNeale

54: Is cheating ever okay?

(Again I’m assuming this is meant about romantic relationships) Unpopular opinion: I think revenge cheating is okay. Like, if your partner cheats on you, then I think you’re totally justified to cheat on them back. Outside of that, absolutely not.

55: Are you mean?

Ha honestly yeah. Like 50% of the time I am sweet as pie [insert gif of John Mulaney quote “You could spill hot soup on me and I’d probably apologize to you”], but the other 50% is just utterly Bitch

56: How many people have you fist fought?

I’ve slapped a few people and I regularly beat up my brother, but I’ve never been in a legit fistfight

57: Do you believe in true love?

lmao no

58: Favourite weather?

Just picture any Autumn day and you got it

59: Do you like the snow?

Yes! Very beautiful and honestly should be the only reason it’s that fuckin cold outside

60: Do you wanna get married?

As many of my friends know, I would marry any of them in a heartbeat for the tax benefits, the wedding, or other legal rule bending. But again, never in a romantic sense bc #aro

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

No I do not like it. “Babe” is great but never “baby” or worse “babygirl” 

62: What makes you happy?

Dog kisses, fresh food, media, my bffs, the pitter-patter of rain, justice, three margaritas into an evening, lots of stuff

63: Would you change your name?

Oh hells yeah. I love my name, but identity changes gets my motor running

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

No lol she hot

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Run screaming for the hills and have a funeral for our friendship

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Totes :)

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My grandfather. Again, more brick-wall talks.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Either my mom or my roomfriend @backwardswriter!

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Very yes (not necessarily romantic again; I think souls can be magnetized for all sorts of connections)

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Oh totes. I’m pretty much ready to throw myself on the pyre at any time lmaoo

Thanks for asks, this was fun!!

[lucemorals]

milou vanderbilt, “oh, fuck”.

22 year old walking disaster / both your dream girl and waking nightmare rolled into one / one part eleanor shellstrop, two parts fleabag / literally too good at the price is right for a millennial / has a pet ferret called boo radley / inappropriate at all times / just finished college and has no idea what she’s doing / not afraid to be Sexual af™ / highly independent, even if it kills her / most likely to ruin a royal marriage / plays with fire constantly / perverted in all the right ways / may or may not have fantasied about your dad / kind of broken inside but don’t tell her that / good at winning people over / just as good at offending them soon afterwards

needs: either a fam i can throw her into or an older brother for cute bro-sis things?? idk, i can’t with surnames. and some sort of half-assed job she can be Great at. friends who can love her for her, please!!! + every disaster romance thx, maybe an age gap thing, forbidden dramaz, cute and slow burn angst, idk!!

[meowci-beaucoup]

Crazy Rich Marinette (?)

My new fic idea inspired by 15 hours on the plane!!

- In which Marinette and Adrien "switch tropes" and follow a storyline inspired by Crazy Rich Asians. The Crazy Rich Asian AU (tm) you may call it.

- The setting is Paris and then switches to China (probably Beijing because Mandarin Chinese).

- Adrien studied Comparative Cognition and is a visiting lecturer at a local university. Still trying to get tenure. He ironically teaches "Canine Cognition."

- Marinette is cryptic about what she does for a living, but Adrien never probed. Marinette likes to freeload off of Adrien, so he wonders if he's better off than her... but her clothes suggest otherwise at times.

- Gabriel is a freelance designer and is actually very attached to his son (is still Hawk Moth though, just with a hint of Don't Bother My Wonderful Son and Rise Proletariat). He loves Marinette. Absolutely adores her fashion sense. Doesn't realize she is his archnemesis.

- Flashbacks to Gabriel akumatizing randos to be like "Hello ○○○. My name is Hawk Moth. I will grant you powers in return for my son's Happiness... Oh..... And also the Miraculouses."

- Adrien's mother has been in a coma for a long time, but Gabriel can't pull the plug. He pays the hospital bills. When Marinette's family probes on Adrien, he confesses this story, and it brings to question their relationship. "Is this son without a mother fit for my daughter??"

- Marinette's family is actually very very rich. A giant Bread Conglomerate that has resulted in her family banking some serious bucks and having lots of real estate. You know Chinese bakeries?? Egg tarts and sausage bread? Yeah that's all her family's. Get rekt by Fortune and Fame.

- Sabine is straight savage and takes the place of Eleanor Young (Nick's mother) in the movie. She comes from old money and she married into old money. Very much disapproves of Adrien being with Marinette. Has a bit of an inferiority complex herself that she projects onto Adrien.

- Marinette's dad is unfortunately only ominously mentioned. He's too Powerful to even be put into words.

- Ladybug and Chat Noir interactions. Before dating, while dating, while in China, and finally. A Big Reveal that sends Marinette and Adrien both spiraling #AsPerUsual

- The first few chapters: Marinette and Adrien slowly falling in love with each other. "I can't tell him I'm scary rich" tension. Otherwise, they're happy. They're healthy. So much cute fluff!!! Ladybug and Chat Noir interactions.

- Next few chapters: Okay so Alya and Nino are getting married. Their location is China. Because of course it is. And Adrien is Nino's Best Man. Marinette is like "Wow this is the perfect time for me to introduce you to my family!!" ---> And in doing so, foreshadows that it is not in fact the perfect time to meet her family.

- Ladybug: "Wait why are you in Beijing?"

  Chat: "Oh.. you know.. Family trip! Here for a wedding I guess, what about you m'lady?"

  Ladybug: "...Oops! Looks like my earrings are blinking!! You know what thAt meANS!!"

- Adrien and Nino were college roommates. Turns out Nino is pretty rich. Everyone's rich? Adrien's like "wtf why/how are all of you rich?" They're total bros though. Nino and Alya's family will be attending their wedding but ..

- Marinette's family will also be attending the wedding as well because it's gonna be Big and Alya's Marinette's friend so of course? They're going to go?

- Adrien meets Marinette's family and very weakly and unimpressively tries to speak in Mandarin to them. He messes up the tones and they think he said something about a horse (吗) instead of about his mother (妈妈).

- Will this white boy be able to "prove himself" to a rich, pretentious, and very traditional Chinese family?? Stay Tuned. (Joy Luck Club Vibes)

- Will Marinette be able to successfully eventually propose to Adrien after this and get her mother's approval?? Stay Tuned.

- Marinette: Welcome to China. Say hello to all of my terrible family members.

Give me more headcanons!! I might include them!!

[vmheadquarters]

This review is spoiler-free.

Veronica Mars season 4 is a rare revival that lives up to the original. Following 2014’s Kickstarter-funded movie, it brings back the show’s neo-noir wit and tightly plotted mystery writing, without succumbing to the gloopy nostalgia we saw from more disappointing revivals like Gilmore Girls.

Veronica Mars

RELEASE DATE: 7/26/2019

SHOWRUNNER: Rob Thomas

STREAMING: Hulu

Twelve years on from season 3, the cult-classic series is as sharp and witty as ever.

Now in her thirties, Veronica (Kristen Bell) still lives in the sunny beachfront town of Neptune, co-running Mars Investigations with her dad Keith (Enrico Colantoni). She and her high school boyfriend Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring) are finally in a stable relationship, trading deadpan banter and living out the happy ending fans always wanted to see. However, that relationship is our first hint that while Veronica’s adult life resembles our fond memories of her teen years, that isn’t necessarily a good thing.

In many ways, Veronica has barely matured since her days as a precocious crime-solver at Neptune High. Her tough nature and snappy comebacks are a successful coping mechanism, but while it’s fun to see her swap cute banter with her dad, it’s less cute when she’s using it to dodge serious issues. Logan was the volatile bad boy of Veronica’s youth, but with regular therapy sessions and a responsible job in Naval Intelligence, he’s actively working to tackle his issues. Meanwhile, Veronica refuses to acknowledge her own damage, using sex and humor to avoid discussing her feelings. In a life beset by shocking revelations and violent attacks, you can see why she’d want to stay in her comfort zone. But that just a nice way of saying she’s stuck in a rut?

Season 4’s big mystery is a bombing during Spring Break. The town is overrun with obnoxious frat bros and party girls, providing an essential boost to the local economy—and a rich seam of potential suspects and motives. Was the bombing a personal vendetta? Is it connected to Neptune’s property market, with real estate mogul Big Dick Casablancas (David Starzyk) befriending a charming criminal fixer played by J.K. Simmons? What about the PCH biker gang, resurrecting Veronica’s complicated friendship with Weevil (Francis Capra)? Or is it one of several newcomers with skin in the game, like a quirky pizza delivery guy (Patton Oswalt) or a charismatic nightclub owner played by KillingEve’s Kirby Howell-Baptiste? Not to mention my personal new faves, a pair of Mexican cartel hitmen (Clifton Collins Jr. and Tyler Alvarez) who’d feel right at home in a Coen Brothers movie.

Led by showrunner Rob Thomas, the writers (Heather Regnier, David Walpert, Raymond Obstfeld, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) deliver one of the sharpest whodunnits in the business. Every stomach-lurching twist and intriguing new clue is perfectly pitched and timed, balancing darker moments with Keith and Veronica’s trademark wit. Like the original show, season 4 offers juicy material to the smallest of roles. We’re also treated to a crowd of returning cameos, none of whom feel like unnecessary fanservice. It makes sense for Neptune fixtures like Vinnie the sleazy detective and Cliff the honey-voiced lawyer to stick around, sharing screentime with new arrivals like Matty (Izabela Vidovic), a resourceful teen who calls back to Veronica’s early years.

This eight-episode miniseries made me reevaluate my thoughts on Jessica Jones, a detective show that shares similar themes but ultimately pales in comparison. Veronica Mars packs twice as much plot and personality into its 55-minute episodes, with a crime story to rival Agatha Christie, and a holistic view of Neptune’s messy community. The writing is razor sharp, with Bell, Dohring, and Colantoni building on characters they’ve played for years, a wryly cynical trio who learned long ago how to quip their way through trauma.

Bell is a rare TV star with more than one truly iconic lead role under her belt, and it’s interesting to see the threads linking Veronica with her recent work as Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place. Eleanor initially felt like the kind of selfish dipshit Veronica skewered in high school, but they both share dark, biting humor that disguises a deep well of pain, trying (and often failing) to do the right thing.

In 2019, Veronica’s flaws are more painful to witness because she’s meant to be a grown-up. We love her because we know her and because she’s a rare spark of intelligence and moral backbone in a stupid, corrupt world. But she can also be cruel and callous, which makes me wonder how new audiences will view her dysfunctional adult life.  Season 4 works surprisingly well as a standalone show, even if newcomers miss out on the rich backstory of Neptune’s background cast.

TV revivals are a notoriously mixed bag, with certain old favorites—Gilmore Girls, Arrested Development—either outstaying their welcome or earning a dubious response from fans. The new Veronica Mars works because it feels like a natural progression instead of a nostalgic attempt to relive the hits. The neo-noir tone is the same, as are the themes of small-town corruption and class divides, but season 4 isn’t a time capsule of a show we loved in 2005. Its main characters have aged and evolved with the times. We watched them struggle with grief, violence, and injustice 15 years ago, and they didn’t emerge unscathed. They make for an altogether more mature show than we remember, but it’s still as addictive as ever.

After watching the finale, I can’t decide if I’m hungry for season 5 or worried that they can’t possibly deliver something as good as this again.

[mistlekissy]

That friend was Alana, the girl harry was recently(the first trip) seen with in Tokyo.

oh???? bro that’s CUTE but makes me wonder even more if harry and eleanor talk sometimes 

[everydayshalloween]

I posted 189 times in 2021

125 posts created (66%)

64 posts reblogged (34%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.5 posts.

I added 11 tags in 2021

#this is so soft i'm in love - 2 posts

#they're like puppy :0 - 1 posts

#she just gently hugs and sits there like :d - 1 posts

#even better: arthur carrying the twins and alix all at once because he's a strong boy (and he loves his little sisters very much) - 1 posts

#guy of thouars is a very worried dad sometimes - 1 posts

#she's like claude in my headcanons for her as a child except she's usually more hyper - 1 posts

#she's so tiny and cute in twp i love her - 1 posts

#bridget will be your bestest friend if you're nice to her - 1 posts

#arthur's also a proud big brother bc his little sister is so happy - 1 posts

#arthur gives alix the puppy and she looks like a kid in a candy store - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#even better: arthur carrying the twins and alix all at once because he's a strong boy (and he loves his little sisters very much)

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I’m a big fan of historical couples being happy and dear god why couldn’t Constance of Normandy have lived a little longer? I don’t know how Alan IV acted toward her since she was William the Conqueror’s daughter and William was...well, William. But please I just want her and Alan to at least be friendly towards each other. I mean, they WERE married for 4 years before Constance died; there should be at least some sort of feeling there.

7 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 03:05:21 GMT

#4

Lil Alix hears one of the nobles swear and just confidently repeats it and everyone’s like “nonononono baby no, no swearing” and Alix is just confused.

8 notes • Posted 2021-01-16 20:57:10 GMT

#3

I’m in the mood for fluff, so here’s fluffy stuff with John IV of Brittany and Mary of Waltham.

-From the time Mary starts walking, the two quickly become inseparable, spending almost every day together.

-During the spring, Mary makes her and John matching flower crowns and they both wear them for a while.

-Mary asks John about Brittany and he tries his best to tell her what he can remember about it before coming to England with his mother. Mary doesn’t really mind when he can’t remember too much.

-Mary totally rambles about John to her older sister Isabella and her younger sister Margaret. In return, Isabella teases Mary saying she has a crush on John (which Mary doesn’t confirm nor deny).

-They’re both pretty excited about getting married and John promises to take Mary to Brittany so she can see it. She is also the duchess after all. They spend hours together talking and kinda planning for the future since shit’s currently hit the fan in Europe.

-When Mary falls ill a few months after the wedding, John stays with her whenever he’s allowed to. There’s not much he can do, but he does hold her hand so she knows he’s there. (Sad fluff, I’m sorry.)

8 notes • Posted 2021-06-18 04:00:38 GMT

#2

Modern AU with Constance and all her kids: Arthur and Eleanor take care of Alix and the twins while their mom works and Alix ends up learning some colorful language from her big bro. So she’s just working on homework, gets stumped, and just yells “FUCK” and Arthur and Eleanor just freak out because she’s like 7 she shouldn’t be saying that stuff.

And then Alix says she learned it from Arthur and Eleanor’s just glaring at her brother.

8 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 04:16:29 GMT

#1

Mind: SLAMS IN

Mind: I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

Me: Wh- What?

Mind: So Matilda Fitzroy and Conan III’s second daughter was named Constance, right?

Me: Yeah.

Mind: Matilda’s aunt was named Constance.

Me:

Mind: DID MATILDA NAME HER BABY AFTER HER AUNT????

8 notes • Posted 2021-12-20 05:12:58 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[ghostmaggie]

you can take my best (it’s yours, it was never for me)

for the @tgpsecretsanta​ holiday gift exchange! written for @cheesecake-heartache, based on the prompts “stuck in an elevator” and “the first sentence your soulmate says is tattooed on your arm.” I hope you enjoy it, and happy holidays!!!

Ships: Eleanor/Chidi

Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Words: 2k 

Summary: Eleanor Shellstrop almost died. Now she feels guilty for being a dick all the time. 

read on AO3

---

Eleanor Shellstrop almost died.

There had been a dropped bottle of Lonely Gal Margarita Mix For One; a row of runaway shopping carts; a billboard truck hurtling towards her, changing lanes at the last possible second.

And she’s still alive.

She figures it’s impossible to walk away from a near-death experience without being changed at all , but damn it, can’t she trade this stupid dumb guiltiness for two broken legs or a bigass scar on her face?

Because, yeah, she didn’t have a flash of, like, judgment day when those carts hit her, but she did walk away thinking, Wow, what a shitty way to die. And I probably deserve it. I’m kind of a shitty person.

Sitting alone in her apartment after she’s released from the hospital, no friends who care enough to see her--even after she almost died , thanks dickheads--she traces her hand over the words printed on her wrist in stark black.

You are my soulmate .

It would suck if she never got to meet them. It would suck if she wasn’t good enough for them.

Immediately she shoves the thought away. “They’re my fucking soulmate,” she says aloud. “Of course I’m good enough for them.”

But she can’t quite escape that guilty itch at the back of her mind.

---

 There’s no overnight change. That’s not how this shit works, apparently. Eleanor was kind of hoping enough lonely three a.m. Googling about how to be a better person would unearth some magic pill she could buy to make her act better--and more importantly, feel better.

No dice, apparently.

But, like, she’s trying . Mostly. Sometimes. When she thinks about it.

Seriously, she is!

Some dude cut her off on the freeway the other day, and she just honked and yelled at him--she didn’t even give him the finger! And she told a girl that her skirt was tucked into her underwear and only laughed about it a little! Plus she didn’t take any pictures of it. That was big for her. Oh, and she saw a guy drop his wallet and totally gave it back without even thinking about it.

So really, she’s doing great.

This thought is circling in her head as she waits for an elevator up to the third floor of some fancyass office building. She’d--well, she’d quit her job at the sketchy pill company after her accident, around the same time she’d cut her hair short, just above her shoulders, blessedly lighter, not weighing her down so much. So anyway, now she was working at some lameass temp agency. She’s not always as good at the boring lame shit her assignments want her to do as she was at manipulating sick old people, but it makes her feel less itchy.

Ugh. Being good is so boring.

The elevator arrives, finally , and Eleanor saunters inside, immediately checking out her own boobs in the mirrored wall.

She’s startled by a blur of motion as some nerdy looking dude wih bigass glasses and a fuckin’ man purse hurries toward the elevator.

They make eye contact, and the dude looks relieved, sticking out a hand in a hold the elevator, i’m super late and in a huge hurry kind of motion.

But Eleanor hates sharing elevators. And she’s still not a saint. And she’s still pretty much an asshole. So she pushes the door close button.

The door starts to slide shut. Eleanor sends the dude a sorry, bro look, and thinks that’ll be the end of it.

Except before it closes all the way, the dude’s arm is stuck in the way and he’s in the elevator with her.

Oops.

He doesn’t yell at her, or even shoot her a dirty look. He just makes a tight, uncomfortable face, his lips pressed together as he avoids eye contact.

Eleanor feels that stupid twinge of guilt.

But--whatever! He made it in anyway. Boo-freakin’-hoo. He’d’ve done the same thing to me.

The silence stretches.

Awwwkward.

Eleanor decides she’s definitely not going to say anything. This guy clearly lacks the balls to call her out on her dick move, so no harm, no foul, right?

Just as she thinks this, of course, the elevator makes a terrifying screeching noise and lurches to a decisive stop. The big nerd actually stumbles and falls to the floor. Then the lights go out.

“Holy motherfucking shitballs, what do we do?” Eleanor asks.

The dim backup lights flicker to life, illuminating the stricken look on the nerd’s face as he gathers himself to his feet.

Eleanor shifts under the force of his incredulous, unflinching stare.

“ You are my soulmate?” he demands, sounding none too thrilled with the idea.

It takes Eleanor a second to process the question. “ What? ” she demands, half a squawk. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Hands shaking and fumbling, the nerd shoves up the sleeve of his sweater and rolls up the button down underneath. There, across his forearm, are the words Holy motherfucking shitballs what do we do .

Eleanor’s jaw drops. “I...I…”

“Let me see your soulmark,” the guy says, sharp, panicked.

Dumbly, Eleanor holds out her arm. The guy takes it in both his hands, gently, looking closely at the words.

You are my soulmate.

“Oh,” he says.

“Yeah,” Eleanor forces out a laugh. “Not exactly the way I expected you to say that.”

The dude smiles a soft, sad, self-deprecating smile. “I’ll be honest,” he says, dropping her arm and taking a small step back. “I never quite came up with a plausible context for--well--this.” He gestures to his arm before rolling his sleeve back down.

Eleanor tries not to think about the sharp pang that goes through her heart once the soulmark is back out of her sight.

“So,” the guy says. “It seems like we might be stuck. Do you have any signal on your phone?” As he asks, he checks his own. “Looks like a no for me.”

Shaking off her weird reaction to the disappointment she’s sure she saw on his face when he realized she was his soulmate, she gives a cursory glance at her phone. “Nope,” she says, feeling the wall around her bruised heart building itself higher.

If he doesn’t want her as a soulmate, she definitely doesn’t care. She doesn’t need him. She doesn’t need anybody.

The guy is messing with the elevator’s control panel. “Seems like the emergency phone is out, too. Great.” He seems a little panicked again.

Eleanor rolls her eyes, crossing her arms and leaning back against the wall.

“The only elevator in a seven-story building is stuck, genius,” she says, biting. “We don’t need to tell anybody. They already know. We just have to wait.”

For a second, the guy seems hurt, but he recovers quickly. “Right,” he says. “Of course.” There’s a beat. “Well,” he pushes on, “If we’re stuck here--not to mention soulmates --we might as well start getting to know each other. I’m Chidi Anagonye.”

She raises both eyebrows. “Eleanor,” she says. “Eleanor Shellstrop.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he says. “So, tell me about yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

He smiles. “You know, like--I’m a professor of moral philosophy. I like museums and French poetry. I was born in Nigeria, raised in Senegal. I’m here in Phoenix teaching Ethics at Arizona State University for the semester.”

Wow. he’s a major nerd. So why does Eleanor find him so oddly cute? Stupid soulmate hormones. She pulls her face into a dismissive almost-scowl.

“I sell fake medicine to sick old people,” she says. “I like binge watching bad reality TV, binge drinking, and not caring about the environment. I’ve never left Arizona, and I never finished college.” She finishes with a sharp, predatory, winning smile.

The guy--Chidi--blinks at her. He looks distinctly uncomfortable.

“It’s--uh--nice to meet you,” he says again.

Eleanor rolls her eyes. “You too, Cheeto.”

 ---

 They have been. In this elevator. For three. Fucking. Hours. Eleanor thinks they might really die here. Honestly, that might be a relief if it’ll get her away from Chidi’s incessant attempts at polite conversation. She blows him off with increasingly nasty replies every time he tries a new topic, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

Right up until he explodes.

“Why are you so mean , Eleanor?” he demands. “Can’t you even pretend to be decent? I’m trying to be nice, i’m trying to be your soulmate , so why--”

All of her frustrations bubble up from the bottom of her chest, where she’s been tucking them for hours. Days. Months. Years. “Because I’m not a good person, man!” she snaps, leaping to her feet. “I fucking suck, and I always have, and I always will, so what’s the point of all this trying to be good I’m doing when I’ll never gain approval from my stupid morality professor soulmate anyway?”

There’s another long silence in which Eleanor feels her face burn and Chidi watches her with an inscrutable expression.

Finally, he asks, tone void of judgment, “So, you’ve been trying to be better?”

She blinks, surprised to find tears rising to her eyes.

And somehow it all comes pouring out. Her near-death experience. Her first exposure to real, actual, aching guilt for her effect on other people. How she quit her job. How little she feels like her efforts have any impact. How much she hates thinking about what she owes others and what others owe her, when her own parents and her supposed friends have never been there for her, not really. How she’s never really been there for them, either.

Chidi is a phenomenal listener, keeping his eyes on her, making her feel heard, nodding to acknowledge her but never interrupting. She can’t stop the word vomit, but he doesn’t make her feel foolish or shitty or awful because of it. He just listens.

When she’s finished, they’re sitting across from each other, cross-legged, maybe a little too close together.

After one more silence, Chidi says, “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Eleanor.” His voice is sure.

“You don’t?” she asks, feeling small.

“I think you’re a person who has been in bad situations and who has done bad things.” He pauses. “A lot of bad things. Some alarming, weird, improbable bad things--sorry.” He cuts off at her look. “But you’re trying , Eleanor! You’re trying to do better, because you want to, and that’s incredible! I mean, as a professor of moral ethics--”

“You can help me!” Eleanor says, jumping to her feet again.

“What?” Chidi yelps, taken aback.

“As a professor of moral philosophy, you can teach me how to be good! I mean, isn’t that your job?” Her voice rises a few octaves in her excitement.

“Well--yes--” he says. “But--”

Eleanor groans. “Oh, c’mon, man,” she says. “What are soulmates for besides helping? You can teach me how to be good, and I can teach you--how--how to swear, or, I don’t know, how to do two shots at once, or--” She racks her brain for more options. She’s gotta be good at something besides lying.

“Eleanor,” he says, and she stutters to a stop.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll help you. But--” he adds, as her face lights up and she starts to respond. “It’s not going to be easy. It’ll be rewarding and sometimes fun, but these are difficult concepts that are even more difficult to put into practice.” He gazes seriously at her, like this is something important. Like she’s something important.

Eleanor nods eagerly. “I’m in,” she says. “I want to do it.”

Chidi smiles. “Okay,” he says. “Then...great.”

With a bright grin, Eleanor leans down and kisses him on the cheek, rewarded by his instant blush. “Thanks, Chidi,” she says, and his smile softens.

 ---

 By the time the elevator starts moving again, they’ve gotten into three more shouting matches, called off their deal twice, almost kissed at least once, and laughed so hard Eleanor nearly wet herself.

But hey, that’s soulmates for you.

They leave the elevator holding hands.

[lucyvaccaro]

parker-vogel​:

“And when I’m the next Bozo, you’re gonna try and tell all your little friends about how you hooked up with me before I was famous,” Parker said, rolling his eyes playfully. “You might wanna get some evidence next time so that they believe you,” He said with a chuckle. Parker couldn’t help but to keep flirting with Lucy. “And since I didn’t hear you argue, I guess it’s safe to assume that you would miss me if I went back to Clown University. That’s really sweet, Luce,” Parker smirked. “Yeah, I don’t really know who’s responsible for nightlife here, but they need to find a new gig,” He agreed, rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe we’re still plagued by that bullshit song,” He groaned. “And what’s worse is that I’ve still seen people dancing to it,” He chuckled. “I got you, Luce, don’t worry,” He chuckled. “Yeah, she’s awesome. I’m really happy she’s here. Just maybe not as much as Eleanor and Sam,” Parker smirked. “Did you work with Sam last week too?” He asked. “Yeah, they’re not dating. They just hook up on the regular,” Parker explained. “I dunno if anything more will come out of it, but honestly I wouldn’t be mad about it,” He shrugged. “I like Isla, and obviously Sam likes her. That’s what you want for your bros, right?”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Parker chuckled. “It’s written all over your face. It gives you away,” He said with a shake of his head. “So really, you should be thanking me. I’m saving your life here,” He shrugged. Maybe he was a little dramatic, but he just knew that Lucy wanted to see him. He could pick up the vibe, much like she’d said the night he’d met her. “It sounds like that’s what you want me to mean,” Parker shrugged. “I don’t have to wish for it, because it’s my reality,” He murmured, raking his eyes down the front of her. He smirked to himself before looking her in the eyes again. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you sounded a little jealous there, Luciana,” He chuckled, then turned back to the bottles. Once Parker finished up taking inventory, he turned to see Lucy sitting at the bar and smirked. “I knew you wanted to hang out,” He chuckled, leaning his elbows on the bar near Lucy. “Did you have your shift drink yet?” He asked with a smile. “What can I make you?” He offered. “It’s better when you don’t make it on your own,” Parker added.

“I would literally never admit to fucking Bozo the Clown if I fucked Bozo the Clown,” Lucy teased. Then she started to laugh a little harder and added, “What kind of clout would hooking up with a clown even have?” She let out a little sigh once she settled down. One of her favorite things about Parker was how silly he was. It did her good to be around someone who made her laugh. “When it happens? Poor silly Parker,” she sighed, shaking her head. She had to do the best she could to resist sleeping with him again; she didn’t want to go and ruin a good thing being his friend. Lucy scoffed, waving a hang through the air. “Didn’t I just say you should go for it? If I’d miss you wouldn’t I try and get you to stay?” she asked with a little smirk. “That’s because the rich middle aged people that vacation here think that song is just so spicy and fun!” she said, sticking out her tongue. “I actually saw Sam at the bar yesterday, he was working the lobby so we chatted about your band and stuff,” Lucy explained. It was so funny and cute to her that Sam spent so much time gassing up Parker to her. The only person who’d given her a mixed reaction about him so far was Eleanor when she brought Parker up in a conversation with her and Isla. “Got it,” she nodded. Lucy obviously wasn’t a stranger to those types of relationships—and she kinda wished she was with how messy they always ended. And back to the stove she always went to burn her hand again. “That’s very sweet,” she said, scrunching her nose at Parker when he expressed he wanted his friend to be happy. 

“Marrone,” Lucy grumbled under her breath, though her smile betrayed her. “However will I repay you for saving little old me?” she said with a dramatic sigh, putting her hands over her chest. “Fine,” she smirked. “Why don’t we hang out then? We’re friends aren’t we?” Lucy mused, raising her eyebrows. Oh, friends with the cutest guy she’d met on the island, that she’d foolishly rushed into her bed. What was the alternative, though? Ignoring him? The thought made her want to laugh. “Look all you want, Parker,” she tutted as she watched him scan his eyes over her, “but you’re not going to get to touch, remember?” Lucy chuckled to herself. “I think you like to hear whatever you want to hear,” she replied, shaking her head when he suggested she’d be jealous. Which she obviously couldn’t be. “Don’t sound so smug about it, buddy old pal,” Lucy said with a toothy grin. “Hmm,” she sounded as she tapped her fingers on the bar while she thought. “I’m gonna take it easy on you and I’ll just have a pinot noir, s'il te plaît.” Lucy requested. 

[wildgrave]

what do u love about ur friends

idk which one of ya sneaky bastards sent this but i’m not gonna complain b/c i will take any possible opportunity to gush about my friends.

update: this got entirely out of hand and i just wrote about like... everyone i talk to. if u talk just ctrl + f ur name (but don’t feel bad if you’re not in here b/c i’m doing this off the top of my head and can’t remember everyone!! also a lot of these are hs friends who don’t have tumblrs but u asked anon so)

i honestly love them all for different reasons tho!! i’m not going to tag everyone but: thanh is great for a straightforward answer & we have the same awful sense of humor which is basically 8 years of memes to reference (also she says no romo a lot which i find rly funny for some reason??). hannah is super loving and supportive and always looking out for me. jessie is wry and clever and honestly has every reason to get annoyed at me 24/7 but somehow doesn’t. whitten i talk to every day and is super rational about my problems which is helpful when i need solutions (also dank memes). gaby is great b/c we both have a lot of the same interests (feminism, art, fashion, shit-talking ppl, etc) and gets riled up about my problems which is great when i need someone to get angry with. colette also gets angry, usually angrier than me, about my problems and is the best person to offer to beat boys up (b/c i know if she gets drunk enough she will fight anyone). kathleen is great b/c we always end up doing something ridiculous and it’s fun and makes a good story. brooke is the fucking funniest person i have ever met and thinks she’s punk rock but is secretly boujee as fuck. amber also thinks she’s punk rock, but has the softest, purest heart of gold of anyone i’ve ever met (also she comes up with the most ridiculously hilarious ways to proposition me). claire and i can talk about absolutely anything and send each other close ups of pimples but also take nudes of eachother and honestly if thats not true friendship then what is?? sofie is honestly brilliant and always has clever comments to make and i’m lowkey in love with her to this day and i mean, if you’re not a little in love with your friends wyd?? mila is so sweet and i can have fun with her doing anything, like we don’t even need to go anywhere we can just have philosophical talks on my bed and it’s chill. sammy and i have only chilled irl once but she’s really quiet and nice but occasionally makes rly snarky comments about straight ppl which are hilarious. lucy is never on skype but when she is we have a fuckin field day and she’s so petty but like... in a funny way? i’ve only hung out with andie once (which i’m trying to change before she goes back to vegas) but she’s so into musical theatre and i love reading her tweets about it b/c i love how passionate she is! dylan makes awful decisions on the daily like... blowjob competition? rly dyn? and it’s so funny to hear about and he gives ridiculous but funny advice and is super australian and always says “bruv” which is super funny to me. jenna i’m p sure is going to be running the world in two years (also holy shit she’s graduating college?? my bb girl is growing up :’)). adja is so funny b/c i thought she was super by the rules in hs but now she’s a wild child. aidan (as in the senior in hs, not the one my age) sends me #relatable memes and even tho we don’t talk often it gets deep as shit when we do (but i lowkey don’t trust him b/c of his opinions of iron fist smh). allie is in my race & ethnicity class and is just nice all around and we DM eachother on twitter sometimes like ‘what was that awful presentation in class’). nick from polisci is so knowledgeable about politics but makes the issues funny w/o being offensive and shannon (also from polisci) dresses rly cute and we have fun conversations & the three of us have a funny group chat for our presentation. quinn is such a wannabe edgelord but is honestly so pure and a good friend. asmaa is the sweetest possible person and we always tease quinn together. ricky continously gives me a hard time about everything but in a funny way and patiently explains WoW lore to me. JT is also fun to play WoW with and makes me feel like a baby b/c he’s and old man. rebecca’s steadfast belief in drarry makes me smile and i love her writing. harri is one of my many wives and her snapchats are amazing (as are her boobs). kinzie i rarely talk to but i can still hit up sometimes like whats up bitch today i had sex while listening to wtnv. cassie, becca, and eleanor are all rly cool and super pretty and nice to chill with and i love their art and photography and general personalities. georgie gave me the sweetest poem and letter last summer when i was feeling down and we have similar aspirations and i’d love to work with her in my career sometime! marko and henry are married istg but anyway marko is such a genuine, honest person and henry is an amazing writer and i loved english with him and it’d make me happy if we were closer. lena is my protege and i am an awful mentor b/c i never see her since i graduated but she is my child. layla is the baddest bitch i have ever met, her nails are always amazing and we can be catty together and blast nicki minaj. sarah is so funny b/c everyone thinks she’s reserved and studious and stuff (and she kinda is) but once you get to know her she is the sassiest person you will ever meet. my sister and i fight sometimes over me stealing her clothes constantly but we bond over how our parents drive us up the wall and also she cooks a lot which means i can steal food. the entire volstovic cycle fandom (dani, scarlett, anna, crystal, etc) are all amazing creators of things and honestly an inspiration. rimsha is the hardest working person i have ever met and i love hearing about her succeed. brady is my fellow gay (tho tbh 90% of the ppl on this list are gay b/c we flock together) and i love him for his snarkiness. all the boys i sat at lunch with in high school (garrison, rex, arun, etc) are such memes but i didn’t realize how cool they were until we graduated and now i’m like, damn i should’ve paid them more attention even tho i saw them every day. my boyfriend is my friend and he’s the most politically active person i have ever met, and he’s such a dweeb, and he makes me smile whenever we’re together (even when i’m trying to be angry at him). feihong acts like a fuckboy but is pretty dang cool if i’m being honest; he’s rly dedicated to what he does. carly and i don’t talk but i appreciate her paintings and selfies and funny tweets from afar. morgan and i were at a fidlar concert once together and we both couldn’t survive the mosh pit (also her instagram captions are fuckin hilarious am i right or am i right?). kelly is a goddamn klepto but we always have fun together drinking coffee and talking about pens and i love and support her art and she does the same for mine. charlotte is chill and i miss just hanging out in her basement b/c she’s such a gemini but in a good way. the ppl i sit with on campus (sumaiya, alex, zuri, etc) are always having interesting convos and share food and it’s a good time. my cousin and her husband (nat and ron) are the most punk ppl in their 30s and they introduced me to the punk scene and i miss them b/c they moved back to kansas. shakey’s photography on insta makes me feel pensive and i want to go to philly just to meet her. miki i’m not super tight with but her writing is a+ and makes me cry and i love rping with her. rina is such a cool mutual and her art is dope. lea is also a cool chic and i love her hair and want her to bake my wedding cake. mousse is so nice to everyone. ellie and i only talk like twice a year at family parties but we can always dive back in and pick up where we left off. the ppl i party w (other aidan, jakob, justin, etc) are dumbasses (i use that term endearingly) but i’m 98% sure they’ve all carried me to the toilet when i’ve been puking my guts out at a party. marley was that friend that ended up going to yale and no one was surprised so i admire her success but also she was always kind to me and always asked how i was doing with my mental illnesses. renee and maria and i bonded over ib art and sga and generally being over-worked by our sponsor. alanna was another one of my proteges who i need to keep up with better b/c she’s badass and funny and has the best eyebrows ever. i don’t talk to sidney anymore but we went thru so much together and supported eachother a lot a few years ago and i still love em for that. eddie is such a dweeb, everytime i see him (which is a surprising amount considering he lives in miami) we act like nothing has changed and go at eachothers throats. rachel m & galen have both grown so so much since i met them and i’m proud of them. rachel s is so fun to talk about hoe things with and laugh at eachother. marco has the best finsta of anyone ever. danny and i talk over snapchat every so often (like every month or so) and we have the weirdest convos like?? let’s name your imaginary lizard. zamzam (from my creative writing class last semester) was super fun to hang out with when she came over and actually everyone in that class (xander, leah, olivia, will, etc) were excellent writers and hilarious and we all bonded. victor is such a bro honestly he’s funny and is very attentive (actually listens) and is fun sober or not. sandra i’ve known since i was a baby and never really talked to until recently but she’s so nice to talk to about small things. alyssa i stalk obsessively on goodreads b/c who else can read that much, istg girl you’re a cyborg (but like a pretty one). rp buds that i haven’t mentioned so far (mario, mackenzie, etc) i value a lot for their companionship and writing. there are tons of ppl from hs that i wish i had gotten to know better when i was there (julia, drea, tina, both erins, bridget, etc). 

and yeah there are more ppl but those are mostly ppl i talk to at parties or dm occasionally or wish i was friends with but admire from afar. anyway. this got long. I JUST LOVE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

[cravenwill]

Victor/Eleanor :3c

SEND A SHIP NAME & WE WILL RATE IT | accepting

The Mun’s rating || NOTP / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / BROTP / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / OTP

The Mun’s thoughts || “….”

//This is one of those things that I’m not sure how it happened? XD I find the age gap a little squicky, but I have a lot less issues with it than I do with a certain other pairing I’ve complained about before; mostly because Eleanor is an adult and seems to be a fairly mature and stable person, albeit a little naive. Actually, it reminds me somewhat of Kaoru and Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin, which is not a bad thing at all imo. I love Rurouni Kenshin.

All in all, as far as our muses go, I think it’s very cute and I think she’s good for him. I can’t say how good an influence he is on her though haha.

The Muse’s rating || Fuck NO / Totally bros. / don’t know / I’d ship it.

The Muse’s thoughts || “….”

“Do–do I really have to? I’m talking about my thoughts as a whole though, right? Because objectively, I… don’t think I’d encourage her to get involved with someone like me. I think she’s smart and pretty; she could do much better than a thirty-year-old wanted man, even if he did adore her and could give her almost anything she wanted… Ugh, see, it sounds like a trashy romance novel already. Anyway, spirits know I would have some issues if my daughter wanted to do the same.

“As far as her specifically, I both treasure her as a friend and adore her. She’s clever, not afraid to question me, and I’m easily distracted by how beautiful her hair and eyes are in the sun shining off the lake…”