#even after forgiving hamilton

[yvisoul]

unpopular opinion (?) i don't like when in fanfics maria and eliza stay friends after the cheating. literally what. usually happens because after the cheating eliza and maria always have that conversation where maria explains her side of the story and eliza realizes that it's not her fault and she was just a victim of james reynolds and she forgives her etc, and maybe i do understand that, we all want eliza to know that maria wasn't the villain she thinks she is before moving on, and MAYBE she forgives her and that's ok but i feel it wouldn't go as far as being friends. the affair was really bad for both of them and i don't think that's the right way to go if they really want to get over it and forget it, it would literally be the constant reminder of what happened.

[gguk-n]

Fate Accelerates (Lewis Hamilton x Reader)

Summary- In a world where soulmates exist. Some people have a countdown on their wrist, counting down to the time they will meet their soulmate. Lewis is so shocked when the time suddenly decreases after his career changing decision.

Ferrari wanted to sign Lewis Hamilton for a while. And the moment he gave them the time of his day; they were able to convince Lewis to leave Mercedes after so many years and so many championships. Lewis had thought long and hard before he signed the contract, he had always wanted to drive in red, that was a dream come true for any driver and he was just going to move towards another one of his dreams.

Lewis grew up with a timer on his wrist. He had asked why he had one and his mum told him it to tell him when he would meet his soulmate. The timer would fluctuate over the years from spanning to decades to couple years. Whenever he would get excited about meeting his soulmate the timer would suddenly increase. Before he had signed the contract, the countdown on his wrist read a couple more years. Lewis had stopped caring at that point, he wasn't sure he would ever meet his soulmate and if he did, that would be pretty neat he thought but even if he didn't, it didn't really matter, not now anyways.

It was a few days after he had signed the contract when he noticed the timer on his wrist. It made him do a double take; it had been years since the timer had been down to almost a year but Lewis did not get his hopes up. He would've liked to but all these years of waiting had made him not so forgiving.

As the season began and time passed, the countdown to meeting his soulmate had begun. He watched at the days ticked by. Lewis felt himself getting giddy when the timer was almost 6 months. It had never happened. He had never been this close to seeing his soulmate, ever. He would sit and talk to Roscoe about meeting his mum soon and how excited he felt. He felt 15 again, the first time the timer had gotten close to around 10 months but then suddenly jumped up. Lewis found himself waiting; as he calculated the time; it coincided with his first day at Ferrari. He felt reassured to have made this decision.

Y/N was a PR manager in one of the biggest companies in Italy. Her knowledge in law and journalism gave her the edge her colleagues lacked. She had moved to Italy when she was in high school due to her father's work and stayed ever since. She was happy with her job and the place she worked at until she was scouted.

Ferrari scouted her; they wanted her as the PR manager for Lewis Hamilton. You would've been an idiot to not have heard of Lewis Hamilton. She was skeptical of leaving her comfortable job behind but the team was relentless in pursuing her. They wanted some one as good as Lewis to handle all of his PR stuff and in their eyes Y/N was the queen of PR management. After many discussion and long drawn out meeting, Y/N agreed to join Ferrari.

Y/N had a timer on her wrist, just like Lewis and it would countdown to when she would meet her soulmate. What shocked her was the fact that her countdown had suddenly decreased and she couldn't be more confused. She had given up trying to find her soulmate since the timer fucked with her so much growing up, that she forgot it even existed.

As the time grew closer to the end of the season, the timer on their wrist had also started blinking. Lewis and Y/N watched as the year turned into months and months into days. The pair allowed themselves to be excited over the prospect of actually finally meeting their soulmate.

It was Lewis's first day at Ferrari. He was nervous and excited at the same time. His childhood dream was coming true and the timer on his wrist was in minutes, something that had never happened. He sped to Maranello; what if his soulmate is a race engineer? So many thoughts were swirling through his head. He tried to remain calm and not lose his composure.

Y/N had put a little more effort in getting ready when she saw her timer read only 2 more hours. She almost burnt her shirt and her hand while ironing it out and almost crashed her car on the way to her first day of work. She wasn't sure what to expect but the minutes ticking away didn't help either. She was sat in a room waiting for her new client, Lewis Hamilton with a bounce in her leg wanting to leave soon to find her soulmate.

Lewis strode into the building, being dragged around to show the place off. He lost track of the timer on his hand and before he knew it he was being ushered into a room. As he opened the door, he felt a burning sensation on his wrist and when he looked down the timer was gone. There was a woman sat on the chair staring at her wrist rubbing the place where the timer sat vigourously.

Lewis slowly walked up to her, making her look up. They looked at each other and it was as if they knew. "You're" she began only to be lost for words. "That's Y/N Y/L/N, she'll be your PR manager" Fred interrupted. Lewis smiled, raising his hand to shake. When their hands finally met, it was like electricity flowing through them. "Lewis Hamilton" he stated. She didn't let the hand go. "My soulmate" she mumbled. "The one and only" Lewis replied. "I've waited so long for this" she muttered with tears in her eyes. Lewis raised his other hand, not letting go of her hand yet and slowly wiped the tears pooling in her eyes. "Me too" Lewis reassured. "Joining Ferrari was the best decision I made" the two said in unison before bursting into a fit of laughter leaving Fred very confused.

[sweetdispatch]

Take it out on me - N. Hischier

pairing: Nico Hischier x girlfriend!reader

summary: Nico's girlfriend have an idea how to help him after tough lost

warning: NSFW, graphic sex (18+), mentions of ex boyfriend, softdom!nico, spit, oral (m receiving), hair pulling, cum play, dacryphilia, spanking, unprotected sex, rough sex, choking, swearing

words: 2.4k

note: october comes to an end and i wanted to create at least one fic for kinktober! enjoy it💕

masterlist

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Nico and Amelia met up two years ago. Since then, they were inseparable. Soon after, they became a couple. Nico was proudly showing Amelia on his games and always wanted her presence there. He truly believed that she is his soulmate. Amelia was grateful to have him. Her previous relationship has been a mess. Her ex-boyfriend was forcing her to things that she didn’t like and if she ever said no, he would punish her. With Nico, it felt different. He was caring, loving and respectful. She started to believe in love again.

One of the things Amelia adored in Nico was fact that he never pushed her to do things. He was always telling her that relationship works in both ways, and she doesn’t have to do something just to pleased him. Nico felt the need to always reassure her. He knew about her past boyfriend, and he wanted to prove her that she’s as important as he is in their relationship.

Although, there was a thing that Nico wished, Amelia could agree on. That was rough sex. He wanted to be in power over her, but he knew how fragile she is. Just for his pleasure, he didn’t want to ruin what they have. He was scared that he will do one bad move and he’s gonna hurt her. That was the last thing he wanted. Nico still loved their sex life, but he wanted more. During one of their talks, he told her truthfully about it but also told her not to pressure herself to do it for him.

The season started great for New Jersey Devils with both wins in Prague against Buffalo. Next five matches were good with only two lost games. Nico felt that he’s in a best shape that he has ever been, and it showed, but there was one game that completely broke him. His team played at home against Washington. After first period, they’ve been losing 1:3 but Nico gave them hope. Second period started and he scored two goals in 10 seconds. Thanks to him, scoreboard showed 3:3 but again, before the end, New Jersey was losing by two goals.

Last period, the most crucial one. Nico scored another point, and it was 4:5. Almost ten minutes later, Hamilton scored, and the scoreboard showed 5:5. They got into overtime which sadly they lost. Nico was blaming himself for the goal. Even though he played incredibly, he was sad and fuming over the result. Amelia was on this game, she saw how Nico was reacting. Even if he weren’t showing it, she could read him like a book. In that moment, she had an idea how to help him with his anger.

The car drive was silent. Amelia tried to approach Nico with conversation, but he hasn’t spoken to her. It was more like a monologue from her side. When she realized it’s pointless, she decided to keep her mouth shut. All the ride back home, Nico had hand on her thigh squeezing it. The fact that she was next to him, and he could touch her calmed him down.

When they arrived home, Nico wanted to go straight to bed but Amelia stopped him.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I think I have a solution for your anger”.

“I’m not angry”. He answered.

“Baby, I know you. You won’t hide it from me”. She grabbed his hand.

“Okay, fine. What’s the solution?” He asked curious.

“Take it out on me”.

“Absolutely no”.

“Nico, I get it that you are scared but I trust you”. She put her hands behind his neck and continued. “It’s something that you would like, and you’ve been always saying that relationship works both ways. I want to be there for you to help you”.

“What if I hurt you? I would never forgive myself that”. He said and grabbed her waist.

“Let’s make a safe word. If you do something that I won’t be enjoying or will cause me a pain, I’ll say it”. Amelia stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. Nico kissed her back.

“You say that I can take my anger out on you? So, I can do whatever I want and however I want?” She nodded her head, but he spoke again. “Words doll. If you want this to work, I need to hear it to be 100% sure”.

“Yes Nico, you can do whatever and however you want”.

“What word did you pick as a safe word?” He asked.

“Red or stop are boring. I was thinking about something random like watermelon”.

“Your safe word is watermelon?” He laughed.

“In my defense, watermelon is not the word that you are associate with sex so if you hear it from me, then you’ll be know that something is wrong”.

“Fair, so watermelon it is”. He kissed her again but this time, it was possessive kiss.

When they pulled apart from each other, Nico put his thumb on her bottom lip and told her to open her mouth. Amelia obeyed him and he spit into her mouth. He saw the spark in her eyes when he done it. She gladly accepted it and swallowed.

“Go to the bedroom. I want you naked there sitting pretty on the bed. I’ll give you a moment to rethink if you really want this”. She hasn’t answered him. She turned her back and started going to the bedroom when he slapped her ass.

Couple minutes later, Nico walked to their shared bedroom. Amelia was sitting on the bed as he told her, but he saw that she’s thinking over something. He placed finger under her chin so she could face him.

“About what you are thinking?”

“I’m scared”. She said.

“Doll, we don’t have to do it. I told you. We can…” Before he could finish, he interrupted him.

“I’m not scared about this. I’m scared that I’ll disappoint you. What if I say safe word in the middle? That’s gonna be super awkward”.

“We made the safe word for this exact purpose. You could never disappoint me doll. Are you sure you want to do it?”

“Yes”. She said confidently.

“On your knees”. She listened to him and kneeled in front of him. He undressed himself so both were naked now, then he spoke again. “If you feel that’s too much for you, hit my thigh three times, understood?” She nodded her again. “What I told you about words?”

“Yes Nico, I understood.”

“Good girl, now spit on my cock and use your hand to spread it. Don’t use your mouth yet”.

Amelia did what he told her. She spat on his dick and started to use her hand over his length until he stopped her. Nico grabbed her hair and pulled them, so she was facing him.

“Open your mouth and relax your throat. Remember about the thigh”. She opened her mouth, and he couldn’t help himself and spit into her mouth again. She closed her mouth to swallow and opened again. Nico pushed his dick into her mouth. At first, he was gentle in his moves but with time he set rough pace. He was pushing himself deeper into her throat and kept her in place by pulling her hair. He was ruthless towards her.

Amelia loved every minute of the way Nico was abusing her throat. He never been so rough with her, but she enjoyed it. When he was hitting her throat deeper with the tip of his cock, tears were falling from her eyes. She was gagging over his length and grabbed his thighs to steady herself. Amelia could feel how wet she got from this act and placed her right hand on her cunt to touch herself. Nico saw it.

“Take your hand from your greedy pussy. I’ll take care of you”. He said firmly and she decided to listen to him.

Nico could swear that he never saw something hotter than Amelia on her knees taking him so well. He was close to release, and he didn’t want to stop. It felt too good for him. He cum inside her mouth and she swallowed it. She looked at him. Her makeup was ruined. Mascara with tears was falling on her cheeks. He helped her stand up and kissed her deeply.

“You want to continue?” Even though Nico knew the answer, he preferred to ask for her permission.

“Yes, please”.

“On the bed. Face down, ass up”. Amelia has positioned like he wanted.

While she was waiting for him to do something, Nico was admiring her in this position. He loved seeing her so submissive for him. After couple of seconds, he spanked her.

“That’s for touching something that’s not yours”. He growled into her ear. “Am I not enough that you had to do it?”

“No Nico, you are more than enough”. She moaned when another slap hit her ass.

“Good fucking girl. Now take your punishment like one”. He said and spanked her couple more times. After Nico was done with her, he leaned over and his chest hit her back. “You will cum twice today. I’m not gonna stop until you use your word. Understood?”

“Yes Nico. Please, just fuck me already”. Amelia was desperate for his touch.

“Your wish is my command”.

Nico started teasing her entry with the tip of his cock. Before she could react, he put all his length inside of her. He gave her couple seconds so she could adjust to his big dick. When he felt like she’s ready, he started pounding roughly into her. He grabbed her hips to keep her steady while he was merciless for her pussy.

Amelia felt incredible. She felt so full and at his mercy. Even though Nico was rough with her, she could feel his affection during the act. She started moan his name loudly. He grabbed her by her hair and pulled her to his body. Her back hit his chest. While one hand was still in her hair, Nico used the second one to play with her nipples. He was twisting and pulling them.

“Nico, I’m gonna cum”. She moaned.

He took off his hand from her tits and placed it on her clit. He started rubbing circles on her pussy. She was shaking from this stimulation. Her orgasm hit her hard. She screamed his name so loudly that she was sure neighbours could hear her. Nico haven’t stopped, he fucked her through her orgasm.

Nico manhandled her so she could lay on her back. He looked at her dizzy state.

“You sure you can continue?” He asked concerned.

“Yes”. She whispered like it was a secret.

“Spread your legs for me”.

Amelia did it but Nico pushed her legs, so her knees were laying on the bed. He looked on her drippy cunt and traded his fingers over it. When she moaned, he spanked her pussy. She closed her legs, but Nico told her to open them again. She obeyed him and he positioned himself in her entrance.

Again, he pushed all his length into her but this time, he didn’t get her time to adjust. He grabbed her by her thighs started fucking her. She arched her back from the pleasure. He leaned over to kiss her. It was sloppy kiss. Amelia moaned into his mouth when he pulled away. She was getting so loud. Nico put his hand on her throat. He squeezed his fingers on the sides of her throat.

She felt overwhelmed by all the stimulation, but she didn’t wanted to stop. It felt so good for her. While one of Nico’s hands was still on her throat, the other one started playing with her boobs. He could feel that she’s close to her release and started fucking her harder and faster. When he knew, she’s seconds from her orgasm, he pulled hand from her throat and placed on her other boob.

“Nico, fuck, I’m gonna cum”.

“I know doll. Cum for me”. Her second climax hit her. She screamed his name and soon after, he released inside of her.

Nico fell on her chest, and they laid like that for couple of minutes. When he recovered, he pulled out of her and went to the bathroom to run a bath for her. He put all her fancy salts and essential oils into the bath. When he returned to the bedroom, he could see her all fucked. Amelia turned her head to look at him.

“Hey, how are you feel?”

“Amazing, thank you Nico. That was the most mind-blowing sex I ever had”. He laughed at her words.

“Can you stand up or do you want me to carry you?”

“Carry me please”. She pulled her arms towards him. He leaned down and she placed her arms around his neck. Nico grabbed her under her knees and carried into the bathroom. He put her in a bathtub.

“Stay here. I’ll be back in a minute”. Nico left the bathroom and went to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water and snacks. He returned and handed it to her. “Eat it, you need it. Also, drink the water, you might feel dehydrated”. He said firmly.

Amelia drank the water while still laying in the bath. She opened a bag of chips and started eating them, handing them to Nico who was sitting next to the bathtub. He helped her wash herself. After an hour, he took the towel and he dry her off. Again, he carried her to the bedroom, placed her on bed and tucked her under the covers.

“I’m going to take a shower, go to sleep”. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Nico left her and went to clean himself. He felt bad for leaving her, but he knew he must do it. Amelia couldn’t sleep. She was laying in the bed and waited for him to return. Ten minutes later, he was back. He saw that she’s still awake.

“I told you to sleep doll”. Nico said lying next to her. He pulled her into his arms, so her head was resting on his chest. After couple minutes of silence, he spoke again.

“Thank you so much for doing this for me. I really appreciate it and I hope I wasn’t too rough on you”. He kissed her head.

“It was amazing Nico. You’ve been incredible. You haven’t been too rough. I told you that I trust you”. She snuggled into his chest even more. “If you ever feel anger again, just know that I’m right here to help”. He pulled her on his body, and they’ve been lying now chest to chest.

“You are gonna be a death to me woman. I love you doll”. He kissed her.

“I love you too Nico. Now let’s sleep, you have a practice tomorrow and deserve a good rest”. She said and both of them fall asleep.

[oldfashioned-lovergirl]

Can I request a ff where reader is lewis hamilton's wife. Like they are married and reader is pregnant then lewis made some mistakes that caused them to fight one night. Reader get so angry/sad and it just makes lewis worried so much about her and grovel A LOT. High angst and fluff towards the end would be cute. THANK YOUU

☽ MOTH TO A FLAME — lewis hamilton x pregnant!reader

tags: jealous!lewis, pregnant!reader, angst, fluff

note: lewis is so the weeknd coded so i’ll name every fics about him as his songs

masterlist

✧༺ ☽ ༻∞　　∞༺ ☽ ༻✧

Your birthday party went well. Well, until your ex boyfriend showed up uninvited and Lewis went crazy about it. Apparently he just wanted to say hi, but the night ended with a physical fight.

When you came back home you were so mad you couldn’t look at him in the eyes, nor you could look at his wounded hand or at the cut on his eyebrow.

“Thank you for ruining my birthday.”

“Thank that prick of your ex.”

You threw your purse on the table. “Oh so it was his fault you pushed him first?”

“C’mon Y/N, he was clearly trying to fuck you.”

You turned to him with a disgusted look on your face. “Not even if he was the last man on earth. We were just talking. Can’t I talk to another man now?”

“He was standing way too close for someone who’s aware of your condition. I’m sorry, I saw red.”

Your gaze inevitably shifted down at your own belly. It’s been almost two months since you found out you were pregnant, so it wasn’t quite visible, though you could feel it very well. “And you think getting in the way between you and him couldn’t have hurt the baby?”

The realisation struck Lewis. “Oh my God, are you okay?” He tried to come closer but you stepped back.

“I’m tired of you being jealous of everyone. You’re supposed to trust me, you’re my husband. I…” You sensed tears in your eyes. Damn it, you didn’t want to cry again. “I should feel safe with you but instead I just feel anxious all the time.”

Lewis came close to hug you. “Don’t. Leave me alone.” You fought back, wiping your eyes with your hands, but that just caused him to strengthen the grip on you until you gave up and abandoned you in his arms. There was no point in trying to fight him.

“You’re right, that was stupid, I fucked up your birthday.” He laid a kiss on your forehead, slowly caressing your hair. “I’m gonna take you some water.”

He escorted you on the sofa and brought you a glass of water from the kitchen. He covered you with a blanket and sat next to you. He touched your cheek with his palm while you drank the water and then put it on the table in front of you.

“Better?” He asked.

“Better.” You looked at him. He had that Bambi look in those big brown eyes and trying to resist it was vain.

You suddenly realized his wounds were still hurting. You sighed. “Bring me bandages and something to disinfect that cut.”

“I’m good, I don’t need–“

“Lewis.” You interrupted him firmly.

He stayed silent. He then nodded, stood up and did as you told him. It certainly wasn’t a good time to contradict you.

When he came back on the couch, you began dabbing his face gently with a wad of cotton dipped in the solution. “He was such a dick.”

A corner of his mouth curved in a little agreeing smile. “Indeed he was.”

You carefully put a band-aid on his eyebrow, then proceeded bandaging his hand. He was watching every actions of yours. You understood he was actually sorry for what he did and you couldn’t help but forgive him. His intentions towards you were kind hearted after all.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re my life. You both are.” His bandaged hand slid down on your belly.

Your hand joined his. “And you’re mine. You know I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else in the world.”

You laid on the couch and he followed you, resting his head on your chest and his body next to yours, careful not to press his weight on your womb.

Your fingers travelled in his soft braided hair. “Besides, there’s nothing about him you should be jealous of. You have everything he doesn’t have.”

“You mean a beautiful wife?”

“I was about to say seven world championships, but I guess a beautiful wife will do as well.”

You both laughed.

He squeezed you more with his arms around your back, turning serious once again. “How are you feeling?” He asked, although he was the injured one.

“Don’t worry, it was nothing.” You stroke his back with your hand. He was so strong, it felt so good having him curled against you like that. You couldn’t imagine anybody else to build a family with.

“I was scared I hurt you. I don’t want to fight. Not only for the baby, I don’t ever want to fight with you.” He kissed your abdomen and buried his face in your neck.

“It’s okay, you could never hurt me.”

[covenists]

but i'm my father's daughter, so maybe i could fix him .ೃ࿔

.𖥔 ݁˖𖦹⭒ you loved him, but do you loved him truly? or the one who's the bad is not you, but him. or probably even the opposite.

i. LOGAN SARGEANT ɞ°⁺˖ ﹙ all-american bitch ﹚

ii. OSCAR PIASTRI ɞ₊⊹⋆ ﹙ bad idea, right? ﹚

what if the break up wasn't really called a break up since the night he called it end?

iii. LEWIS HAMILTON ɞ°⁺˖ ﹙ vampire ﹚

iv. LANDO NORRIS ₊⊹⋆ ﹙ lacy ﹚

v. MAX VERSTAPPEN ɞ°⁺˖ ﹙ ballad of a homeschooled girl﹚

you don't even know who he is, and so does he. so now how are you both are even together?

vi. CHARLES LECLERC ₊⊹⋆ ﹙ making the bed﹚

vii. PIERRE GASLY ɞ°⁺˖ ﹙ logical ﹚

you've been fallen for his trap, like a pig raised for slaughter, he treated you the same.

viii. CARLOS SAINZ ₊⊹⋆ ﹙ get him back! / i wanna kiss his face with an uppercut! ﹚

ix. MICK SCHUMACHER ɞ°⁺˖ ﹙ love is embarrassing ﹚

you gave everything for him but at what cost?

x. GEORGE RUSSELL ₊⊹⋆ ﹙ the grudge ﹚

would you still believe in pure love after this?

xi. DANIEL RICCIARDO ɞ°⁺˖ ﹙ pretty isn't pretty﹚

all you wanted to do is be pretty for him. but sometimes what is called beautiful isn't as beautiful and pretty what you imagined isn't as pretty as you are.

xii. YUKI TSUNODA ₊⊹⋆ ﹙ teenage dream﹚

xiii. DANIEL RICCIARDO ɞ°⁺˖ ﹙ prison for life﹚

xiv. OLLIE BEARMAN ₊⊹⋆ ﹙ strangers again﹚

does love that he wants from you is only works undercover?

“ it takes strength to forgive, but i don't feel strong ”

[sunrizef1]

Coming Soon… (TBD)

☆ Glorious Thorn

☆ I couldn't utter my love when it counted • ah, but I'm singing like a bird ‘bout it now ☆

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Summary: 17 years. 17 years since your life was turned upside down. 17 years since your fiance betrayed you. 17 years of raising a child on your own. 17 years of caring for a child who's driving potential would rival that of even Verstappen. 17 years after Lewis Hamilton tore your life apart, you get a call that brings you right back to where it’d all started, 17 years ago.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Mother!Reader

Tags: Exes to Lovers | Secret Kid Trope | Forced Proximity | Rich Kid, Old Money Aesthetic | Best Friend!Seb | Jobless Reader | 0% Nepotism | Starboy!Son | Bestie!Lance

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“I could apologize a million times and I know I still wouldn't deserve this life with you”

“Ive spent 17 years mourning what we had. After that much time, its not that easy to bring something back to life.”

“I don't care how long it takes, I would spend the rest of days by your side, praying for forgiveness. Even into rebirth, id come back just to be by your side once again.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

☆ Index:

Meet the Characters

Prologue: I’ll Be Your Shrike

Chapter 1: Made in Your Image

Chapter 2: The Burden of Atlas

To be added…☆

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Authors Note: Ahhh! This story has been rumbling around in my brain for quite a while so I was really excited to post this. It might take a while to get chapters uploaded and it will not be very consistent but I really like this so well see where this goes ☆ Until I get consistent again and finish WHIV, this is more of an idea than a solid fic, pls remember. Im just getting this out there so I will, eventually, commit to it ☆

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

☆ Tags: @ironmaiden1313 @lottalove4evelyn @jaydaaasworld @xoscar03 @assholeinatrenchcoat @crowdthena

[doromoni]

Clash of Champions | LH44 , MV1

Act 2 . Part 2 : For the World to See

Ships : Lewis Hamilton x Engineer! Reader , Max Verstappen x Engineer! Reader

Genre : Drama , Angst , Romance

Warning : Morally Grey Characters , Swearing

A/N : Buckle up , folks! This one’s smth else.

Summary : The rivalry between the titans of Formula 1 go off track and only one will reign victorious.

< Previous Masterlist Next >

Act 2. ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

All are fair in love and war. An overused idiom, but one that you believed was necessary for the actions you were about to do. You knew that it was wrong to use Max to get back on Lewis. But you were not perfect, far from it.

Not when your vision had clouded red as you looked at the picture that flashed on your phone’s screen. It was a photo of Lewis kissing another girl in a bar. It hasn’t been a month since your split with Lewis and he had the fucking audacity to pull this shit.

What’s worse is that over in that same month, Lewis had been trying to reach out and kept saying that he was sorry and that he’d change. Gifts and flowers kept appearing and delivered to your new apartment with written notes from Lewis. For some time, you considered taking the British driver back.

You even became guilty for the fact that your relationship with Max was developing into something more.

Now, you were glad that you started talking to the Dutch Red Bull Driver. It didn’t hurt that you found Max extremely attractive and desirable.

You couldn’t help it , the Dutch driver was aggressive and a menace on track, but when the helmet went off — he was the sweetest and the most caring partner a girl could ask for. The Max you’ve gotten to know, even for a short period was the perfect distraction.

It all started after you left your apartment with Lewis you went straight to Milton Keynes to meet with Christian Horner , where you bumped into Max.

He was doing a routine check-up, just to ensure that he was perfectly ok after the crash at Silverstone.

You felt partly at fault for his crash and guilt had driven you to apologize even if it wasn’t your actual doing. Max had laughed it off and jokingly said that he’d forgive you if you went out for coffee with him. And to your surprise, you found yourself agreeing.

The coffee went great, and your conversation with Max was easy. His humor was dry, yet you find yourself laughing and enjoying your time with the Dutch Driver.

“I watched Christian Horner, waiting for you to come out of Mercedes and act like he didn’t expect you when you bumped into him” Max exaggerated.

“Mhmm… your team principal would turn stalker mode just to tell me that I did a good job “ You laughed as you rolled your eyes at the handsome driver.

“I swear, Y/N. Checo and I were passing by and Christian was crouched down behind a bush! “

Max bluffed. Making you double over laughing.

Your coffee with Max then turned to lunch and lunch turned into dinner. Then that turned into traveling to Monaco in his private jet to attend the party for the drivers and team principals.

The speed of the development of your relationship with Max was starting to scare you. You and Lewis just broke up , you didn’t want to take advantage of Max’s affection for you.

You were staring at your reflection in the mirror. Your makeup was exquisite and your hair was perfectly done. The dress that Max bought for you fits like a glove. You looked perfect. But you couldn’t help but feel the pit in your stomach grow.

You knew that you would be facing Lewis and Toto at some point tonight and honestly you weren’t sure that you were ready just yet.

But You didn’t want them to see you as weak and helpless . If they could move on easily then you’ll play along. You’ll beat them at their own game.

With a final swipe of lipstick. You were ready

“Max?” You called out to the room

“Am in the living room” Max replied

You walked out of the bathroom and headed your way towards Max. Your Louboutin heels clicked with every step on the marble floor.

As you neared the Dutch Driver. His head turns towards you and his eyes widen as they travel your form, repeatedly.

Max made his way towards you. You were both silent. Max took your hand and he brought it to his lips, kissing the inside of your wrist — your eye contact never breaking.

“Gorgeous, you look absolutely beautiful” Max uttered spinning you slowly.

“Thank you. You look handsome Max” You said a bit breathless. Handsome was an understatement, Max looked like a Greek god. Not many times do people see him outside RedBull uniforms, but when they do, people gawk at the driver — you were no exception.

“I love you in black, have I told you that?” You said as you slid your hands up Max’s chest feeling every muscle on your path.

“Mhm, you have. Have you noticed that I’ve been wearing just that recently?” Max countered as he pulled you closer by the waist.

“ I have, and I never did thank you. And I’m sure that your fans thank you too.” You winked at the Red Bull driver, making him chuckle and roll his eyes

“The thirst traps are everywhere, don’t remind me” At that you couldn’t help but laugh as you had sent him some links.

“ Toughen up, you’ll be getting more when you’re World Champion”

“When, not If? you’re that confident in me?” Max grip strengthened without him noticing. You knew that he had issues believing in himself. And you knew who was the reason for that.

“Yes, When. Your potential is unlike any other Max! I believe that you will be breaking records and earning championships left and right one day. “ You truly believed what you said. You felt Max kiss your temple as he whispered “Thank you, Y/N.”

Max was never the speaking kind when it came to emotions. So his opening up even a little was an enormous step.

What did that mean for your blurry relationship? You didn’t know. But it was a step somewhere for sure.

“Now come on! We’re already late.” You tugged on Max’s hand towards the door of his suite.

***

Arriving at the venue, your nerves had finally set in and you were starting to feel a little anxious.

“Hey, are you alright? We can ditch the party if you don’t feel like it” Max whispered to you concerned.

You have never been used to being in fancy balls all glammed up, even in your time with Mercedes and Lewis being your boyfriend. Being that your relationship was kept a secret, you have never joined Lewis to the Galas and Balls.

But now, Max Verstappen was guiding you towards the entrance with pride — not shying away from the cameras and the people who greeted us. He was proud to show you off.

“No, no. Just a bit apprehensive seeing Toto, that’s all” you said back

“Oh! Are you nervous that when you see him you’ll shred him to pieces? Got it” Max tried to joke. You couldn’t help but laugh as you affectionately hit his chest lightly.

“Exactly that! You do get me, Max Emilian Verstappen” You joked back, feeling thankful for Max.

“But really, don’t be scared. I’m here and I promise to protect you. No matter what”

You gazed up at the Dutch driver with so much emotion.

“Thank you, Max” Now it was your turn to say thank you.

You and Max had led yourselves toward the drivers of Ferrari

“Max! You’re finally here!” Charles exclaimed not fully realizing that you were there. His eyes lingered on you as if he was trying to know who you were.

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to realize. Max was amused, while Carlos had finally figured out who you were.

“Y/N??” The monegasque driver gasped

“Took you long enough, Charles” You smiled at the Ferrari driver, while Max and Carlos had their conversation.

You and Charles weren’t that close but you two were friends, because of Seb. While you and Seb were close to a certain degree — you had been there during his battle with Lewis and you just naturally formed a friendship around that.

“I haven’t been seeing you in Mercedes. Is everything all right?” Charles asked.

“The NDA stops me from saying anything. But all I can say is that I’m happy that I left” You explained to Charles with a dry chuckle.

And forever the gossiper, Charles could not help but ask

“So is it true? You’re moving to Red Bull?”

“Well ~ you need to find out for yourself eh?” You winked at the Monaco-born driver. You have grown thirsty so you went to get something to drink.

Max looked like he was in deep conversation still with Carlos, so you just went your way.

As you ventured your way towards the refreshments, you were stopped by heathen himself, The boss that tried to screw you over.

Toto fucking Wolff.

Your feeling of anxiety had turned to hatred and anger in an instant. Maybe Max was right with you ripping the Mercedes Principal to shreds.

“ It’s a surprise to see you here, Y/L. Did Red Bull send you an invitation? “ Toto said with hidden condescension.

You chuckled at the audacity. He was once again trying to belittle you.

“ I find that hard to believe, considering that you monitor my every step. Heard about Red Bull huh? Keeping tabs on me Wolff? Scared to lose? ” You mockingly tutted the principal.

“Why would I even do that? Mercedes is better without you! Good fucking riddance . We will win this Championship without you!“ Toto rebutted, the anger in his face was rising.

“Mhmm, sure. Now say that again , this time like you actually believe it” you said so patronizingly with the sweetest, tooth-rotting smile you could muster.

“FUCK YOU!” Bingo! Toto fucking Wolff had reached his limits. And for the first time, you enjoyed every last bit.

But you were nowhere near finished.

“Aww, thanks! Fuck you too. But please do tell me, Toto, just how much money did you lose when investors started pulling out when I left?” The sweet smile on your lips turned menacing

You were in the hell hole of Mercedes for 6 years, you knew their sore spots like it’s the back of your hand. And money was one of them.

“ You know Torger, one might ask, if you say your specialty is managing a business and you’re losing money now. Would that mean that your existence in Mercedes is fucking useless?” You asked with faux interest, a finger underneath your chin as a Cheshire grin spread across your face.

You could see the red rising in the Mercedes Principal’s Face and any minute now he would explode in rage.

“Oh! And also, how’s next year’s car going for you?” And you did just that. You broke Toto fucking Wolff in front of everyone.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW DARE YOU? I SWEAR I’LL KI—“ Toto had started to close the distance between the two of you with his fist inbound.

But before he could land a blow at you, He was forcefully pulled at the collar and restrained with an arm twisted to his back.

And it was all done by Max Verstappen. He had been watching you the entire time and he believed that you could hold your own. He knew that you could fight your own battles. But even then Max knew when to step up and save you from getting hurt.

However, no matter how much Max tried to protect you, he was still one person. He could prevent Lewis Hamilton from dragging you somewhere where no one was to see.

“What the fuck Y/N?? What even was that?!” Lewis bombarded you with questions. His grip on your wrist proved to be painful by the second

“Fucking let go of me, Lewis!” You yanked your hand away from him.

“What are you even doing here with Verstappen?! Seriously Y/N?? Crashstappen? Out of everyone you chose the enemy? We just broke up and now you’re all over him?” Lewis said so venomously, and with so much disgust that would’ve probably hurt you if anger didn’t consume your system

“You’re the one to talk Lewis!! You’re the first one to fucking dip your dick into another girl! You don’t have the right to judge me! “

“So is this how it is, Y/N? YOU'RE CHOOSING HIM OVER ME?!” Lewis went hysterical and you were just the same and neither of you cared if anyone were to hear you.

“You know what Lewis?! Yes, I’m choosing Max over you! Because, unlike you, He makes do with his promises and he isn’t embarrassed to call me his!”

You stormed out on Lewis. Tears were rolling down your face — you were not sad no, you were angry and frustrated about everything about your past from Mercedes to Lewis Hamilton.

You found yourself inside the lady's room, walking back and forth. You looked at yourself in the mirror and mascara had run down your cheeks. You have tried to wipe it when you heard a voice from outside.

“Y/N? Are you ok in there? Can we talk? ” Max knocks from the other side of the bathroom door. His voice held concern and panic

You slowly opened the door, facing the Dutch driver who was clad in an expensive Italian suit, perfectly tailored for his form.

“Max … before anything happens. I need to tell you something about Lewis and me” You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. Your sights on the shoes that you chose for him.

Your eyes shift upward, as you feel Max’s finger on your chin lifting your face up

“Y/N, I know. And I don’t care” Shock was evident in your face. You thought that your relationship with Lewis was undiscovered. But all this time Max knew

“M-max, I'm so sorry. I swear, I’m not using you as a rebound” You tried to explain yourself. You expected Max to be angry and you left.

But to your surprise, Max‘s hands found their way to your waist pulling you closer. And the words that left his mouth next left you speechless.

“ I don’t care Y/N. As long as I have you by my side, do whatever you want — I’m yours. Use me”

***

“You’ve sent the pictures of Hamilton to her number?”

“Yes , Sir. Verstappen. It’s accomplished.”

Taglist : @vicurious28 @xoscar03 @barnestatic @stelena-klayley @sopheeg @imagandom @4-20-21-12 @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @minkyungseokie @d3kstar @kimialaia @cosmicwintr @younxii @ssrcsm @paigem00 @seokjinkismet @wcnorris @jayjay11122 @embersparklz @sam-is-lost @peterholland04 @luckyladycreator2 @lovemesomeescapism @yettobedetermined7 @nikfigueiredo @ironmaiden1313 @alliwantisadonut @uuoozzii @marshmummy @kemillyfreitas @yaesflorist @zoeyjadetice2010 @splaterparty0-0 @likedbygaslyy @myinternettlifeimagine @ilamara @pluviophilefangirl @starssfall @haydensith @adoreleeknw @leilanixx @dr4g0ngirl @forfeityourbugs @choisannyreads @justtprachisblog @felicityforyou

[youkissedareaderinthedark]

Dear Spa

Synopsis: The Belgian Grand Prix haunts the grid once again

young female mercedes driver reader x F1 2023 grid

(george is on williams with alex, logan is the reserve driver)

We can’t remember “before you”

“Hi!” You grinned into the microphone when an interviewer called you over, to stand beside your teammate, Lewis. “Hi Y/n” He pulled you into a side hug. “Y/n, Mercedes have been looking fast so far, what can we expect from you two today?”

“Well, we hope to get onto the podium, and if not that, then just into the top 5 would be nice”

“And Lewis, what are your expectations for the cars today?”

“I mean, as Y/n said, we’re looking for the car to be in the top 5 at least. We’ve all been working hard in the garage and at the factory and we can only hope it pays off”

“Okay, thank you two, good luck today” The interview said as you two walked away and into the paddock.

2023 was your first year driving for Mercedes, although your third year in Formula 1. Toto Wolff had recruited you from Alpine in the middle of 2022 and had signed you for four years to drive alongside Lewis Hamilton. Seeing as you were much younger than him, you had developed a mentor-mentee relationship with the British man, and he became one of your closest friends on the grid. He gives you advice whenever he can and defends you when the racing world becomes too critical of you.

Right as you were walking through the paddock, you feel two arms wrap around your shoulders. “Hola” “Bonjour” Two accented voices say. “Hey guys, you ready for the race?” You grin at Charles and Carlos as you throw your arms around their shoulders.

“Yes, I can’t wait to be ran off the track again” Charles teases.

Two weeks ago, you ran his Ferrari off the track without even realizing it when he was trying to overtake you. He’s not mad since he ended that race in P3, but he still doesn’t miss an opportunity to tease you about it.

“That was two weeks ago, Chuck. Forgive and forget” You reply

“Don’t worry Y/n, I’ll just wave when I pass you” The Spainard says.

“And are you going to impede me if you do?”

“If I feel like it” He smiles. You laugh “I’ll see you guys later, good luck” You call as they walk towards the Ferrari garage.

You see George, Alex, and Lando together next. “Hey guys” You smiled as you brought each of them into a side hug. “Y/n, so, you remember how we asked you to come golfing with us on Tuesday and you said no?” George asked.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Yes?”

“Well, we asked Lily and Carmen to come along, so you won’t be bored when you join” He smiles as if he came up with the smartest idea possibly.

“Oh, seriously you guys?” You threw your head back as the trio smirked.

“Alright, I’ll come with you. I’m not golfing though”

“Aw thanks, Y/n, you always know how to make us feel loved” Lando said sarcastically.

“We’ll see you after the race, Y/n, good luck” Alex called over his shoulder as the three friends walked away.

“Good luck”

“Alright Y/n, you ready?” Lewis asked you as you stood across from each other in the Mercedes garage. You two were about to start your formation lap, but not without seeing the other off first.

“Of course. We’re going to do great, good luck” You smiled, then you remember you were wearing your helmets, so you hoped he could tell by your eyes that weren't yet covered by the visor. He removed the hands that were on your shoulders.

“Good luck”

There was during you...

You sat in your car as the thirty-second warning came on. Your car rested at the P6 position, Lewis in front of you and Checo Perez behind you. It was supposed to be a good race, the skies were clear, the stands were full, and all ten teams were optimistic.

“Alright everybody, as the red lights come one, everybody clears the track” The voice of David Crofty becomes audible.

You take a deep breath, tighten your grip on the wheel, and focus your gaze on the lights above you.

1...

2...

3..

4..

5..

“And its light’s out and away we go in Spa! Max Verstappen gets away with no trouble, Charles Leclerc following after him into Turn 1. Fernando Alonso isn’t as lucky, scrambling to get away from Carlos Sainz’ Ferrari behind him. Lewis Hamilton manages just fine, as does his teammate behind him, Y/n L/n, pulling away from Checo Perez easily”

There’s a lot you probably should be worried about, but you’re glad you're not. You navigate through the race pretty easily, both Mercedes staying in their respective places until Lap 17. Carlos overtook Fernando, and now your teammate is attempting to do the same.

“Alonso, about to lose two places as Lewis Hamilton closes in on him in Sector. 3 He’s going for it. Hamilton down the outside...can he pull it off? Yes he can! Lewis Hamilton P4 and the show isn’t over for Fernando here. Y/n L/n wants a bit of action too, she’s going for it, their nearing Turn 3...”

DRS is on and you’re not giving up. You go down the inside of the Aston Martin, you’re Parrell to him, you’re going wheel to wheel...

“They touch! Contact between Alonso and L/n! L/n gets turned around and- oh no! Sergio Perez hits into the side of her car! Oh my...that looked...” For the first time in a while, David Crofty is speechless.

Suddenly there is debris everywhere. It’s an immediate red flag and the reflexes of the drivers behind Perez are tested as they try to avoid the collision in the middle of the track. The crash caused Sergio’s car to slow down, but it also set your car forward again which allows his to accelerate again. The Red Bull pauses, waiting for the cars behind him to clear before moving forward and stopping his car at the limits of the track.

“What happened?”

“Who was that?”

“That..that looked bad. Who was it?”

“That was Y/n? Is she okay?”

It all happened too fast. As a Formula 1 driver, you needed to have the fastest reflexes possible, but this time, if you blinked, you’ve already missed half of it. You knew your car had been sprawled sideways across the track, you just didn’t know Checo Perez was a second and a half behind you.

It felt like the entire right side of your body had bowling balls thrown at it. You tried overtaking Fernando on a straight, so the Red Bull crashed into you with full power. Your hip felt the most force, but your legs were crushed under the dented medal of your car. You couldn’t even feel your right arm and it’s better that you didn’t. The crash knocked your head straight into the left side of your headrest and even with that bulky helmet, you were seconds away from unconsciousness.

For reasons you couldn’t figure out and didn’t have the time to, the words said in your last conversation swam in your head.

“Good luck”

“Good luck”

“Good luck”

If this is good luck, then what is bad luck?

You thought as your eyes closed. You didn’t have to find out, because the luck that was your life, runs out.

Eighteen cars are back in the pitlane, but Sergio Perez’s Red Bull remains out on the track. He turns off his car no problem, but his shaky hands cannot seem to unbuckle the harness that keeps him in his seat. He’s been in Formula 1 a long time, and he can’t thoroughly describe it, only as a terrible, terrible feeling, one you have all over your body. He’s only felt it once and he never wanted to feel it again. His body is in déjà vu, thinking of the terrible day in Japan, in denial of this day in Spa.

He pulls himself out of the car and sprints towards you. “Y/n!” He screams as loud as he possibly can. “Y/n!” He’s muttering curses and pleadings. “Y/n please” He lifts your visor to reveal your closed eyes. The Mexican swears again and looks around frantically for the medical team. He weaves his arms through the halo and starts shaking your shoulders. Segio doesn’t know what it’ll do but he doesn’t know what else he can do.

He unbuckles your harness as well before removing your helmet and balaclava whilst his brain is trying to remember the safety procedures he was taught. The man places two fingers underneath your chin where your pulse point is supposed to be. Except it isn’t, and Sergio Perez begins to panic. He tries to be still for a moment, watch your nose and your mouth and your chest for any signs of breathing, and places his hands over his own helmet covered face. His voice breaks. “Y/n”

Flashes of red lights dance across your reflective visor and the sound of sirens becomes audible. He keeps his head rested on the side of your car and his hands clasped together in a prayer, hoping that the crash could be undone. There are wheels squeaking against the track and footsteps rushing around and he feels a hand placed on his shoulder.

“Sergio, are you okay? Come over here, you need a checkup...” A marshal drones on but Checo’s mind is on you. That terrible feeling is drowning him, forcing him to remember how it felt when he learned Jules Bianchi died and how he promised to never let a friend die. Sergio Perez has been in Formula 1 a long time; he should know not to make promises you can’t keep.

But we never thought there’d be an “after” you

The Mercedes garage knows first. The message comes from a radio and Lewis thinks that no message that important should be given by a radio.

He’s angry first. The British man is not known for his rage, but it escapes him before he can control it. He’s been out of his car for almost 10 minutes by now, Toto telling him to come out when 20 minutes passed, and they hadn’t been given an update. Lewis was listening to the station the medical team uses, and he, like everyone else in the room, was still.

“We’ve completed the examination, there is no pulse. Y/n L/n is dead”

A calm, before the storm.

He grabs the radio before anyone can react and is shouting without even realizing it. “No you haven’t. You check and you check again and again until she walks back here, okay?” Lewis’s voice breaks and his heart knows it even though his brain is denying it.

“I’m sorry but she’s-”

“No, no, she isn’t anything. She is fine and you bring her back here right now. You tell her I need to talk to her, you tell her I need her right now” A sob slips from his mouth and he’s buried his head in his hands as if taking his eyes off the world would bring her back into it.

The normally stoic Toto Wolff has tears shining in his eyes and Susie is crying next to him. The engineers in the room don’t know what to do, only that they want to go home and miss you and try to convince themselves they’ll see you later, walking out of the hotel with a smile on your face, rushing to catch your flight.

The FIA knows your relationship with the rest of the drivers well enough that none of them will have the heart and mind to finish the race. They radio each of the team’s garage’s one at a time, breaking the news and informing them of their decision.

David Crofty and Martin Brundle know next, and they are graced with the gift of telling almost 400 thousand people that one of their drivers have died. David Crofty and Martin Brundle are well into their age and have seen a lot but seeing a young woman killed doing what she loved in a freak accident? No, that’s too much.

A heavy silence fills Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps and the fans are stunned into the silence of reality.

The drivers are questioning themselves for the first time since 2019. Charles Leclerc breaks down into tears and he’s not sure how many more loved ones he can lose before he crumbles completely. Pierre Gasly sobs at the thought of having to lay another bouquet of flowers at this track and this time, without you by his side.

Esteban Ocon is spiraling into déjà vu and Yuki Tsunoda is torn between comforting himself, Daniel Ricciardo, or making the trip to Alpine to see his best friend. In that moment, the Australian is sure he will never smile again because you aren’t here it mirror it or cause it. Carlos Sainz hopes he never loses one of his sisters but if he does, he knows it will feel like this. The Spainard only wished to protect you and keep you happy and is left crying while his wishes fall away just like his tears.

Fernando Alonso knows this is something that will be engraved in his mind for every second of every day for the rest of his life. People assure him, it’s not your fault, it was a freak accident, but it doesn’t feel like it. He knows how to defend, especially without making contact, so how do you explain this? The man is advised not to let the grief consume him, but he welcomes it, lives with it until November, when he announces his retirement and knows that it’s permanent this time.

Lando Norris, George Russel, and Alex Albon are in states of disbelief.

We were talking, not even two hours ago... she was supposed to go with us...

You were supposed to go golfing with the three, yes, but you were also meant to go through Formula 1 with them. Be there for every podium, every win, every World Championship the four of you always dreamed of winning. Now they just dream of getting one more minute with you.

Dear Spa, stop killing our friends

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Everyone Else Is No.2 {One-Shot}***

Lewis Hamilton x Attorney Friend Reader

Warning: Cursing, NSFW, Mature 18+ Content, Angst, PLENTY OF WORDS, DIALOGUE HEAVY

Words: 15.2k

Summary: Again, nah.

Note: Inspired by that old August Alsina song "Kissing on My Tattoos". So sorry for how long it is and for the long sentences toward the end, it couldn't be any other way. Forgive the weird spacing throughout, Tumblr has a 1,000 block limit per post, and guess who reached it before correcting the spacing.

Note II: Really interested in hearing what you guys think about this one. Let me know.

As always, thank you guys for reading! I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this.

If you did enjoy this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

-Y/N-

"You're beautiful you know that right?"

You smiled and took a sip of your drink.

"Thanks."

The man sitting across from you, Darius, nodded and before he looked down to his plate you caught his eyes drop to your cleavage. Of course, you thought. This was your 2nd date with him. The first went smoothly though you'd went with little to no expectations for it to be so. Tonight, he said the right things, did the right things, and was the perfect gentleman.

He'd even chosen a great restaurant. The ambiance was perfect for a second date. So far you had only counted 2 things that were less than satisfactory, everything was on point. He was so on point that you wondered if he was acting and not being his genuine self.

You hated the dating scene. Everyone held their cards too close to their chest. No one was ever real about anything. Everyone liked to waste people's time all in the name of fun and sex. These days you only treated dating as a pastime and a way to relieve stress after long hours of working on briefs and reviewing case files.

"A woman with your track record in law. Wheeew. Was it hard?"

You shrugged then wiped the corner of your mouth, "It definitely wasn't easy. I still remember the sleepless nights, and times when I only had 1 meal a day. My parents still remember not seeing me for 3 months because of the bar and my first major case that came nearly right behind the other. They won't let me forget it."

"It looks like it paid off. You're on the partner track. Shit, you'd be the first woman under 35 to make that happen at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw," Darius said.

You bristled, but politely smiled and took another sip of your wine.

"I'm sorry I don’t mean to make this weird I'm just in awe of you."

You studied him for a few moments but found no lie. You could always tell a lie. No matter what the case, no matter who it was. It was your secret weapon and it served you well as a lawyer.

"Thank you, but enough about me. What about you? Tell me about Darius Forrester."

He smiled, licked his lips then looked you directly in the eye.

"I'm pretty much a what you see you get kind of guy. I've been at Berry & Clark for the last 6 years as a criminal attorney. The work is challenging but I do alright for myself.

You nodded. He did. From what you heard his win ratio was nearly 92% and he took upstanding cases. He was a good attorney. Normally you wouldn’t shit where you ate because mess was not your style. You did not want to walk into a courtroom or boardroom and see the opposing counsel was an ex. That one thing gave you nightmares.

So dating lawyers was out of the question. You dipped in every other career field, playing it safe. The further they were from a law career the better. However, after a conversation with your other lawyer girlfriends about limiting oneself in the already limited dating pool, something clicked, and you decided to try it once but only if they weren't in your firm. Darius was your first attempt.

As he continued to tell you facts about himself you listened, but he didn't have your full attention. There was another person who held your attention, a person who though was usually out of sight was never really out of mind.

You heard your phone sound from your clutch resting on the table and both your eyes shot to it. Darius spoke before you moved.

"Go ahead please."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm an attorney as well, Y/N I know you come attached to it."

You smiled, held up your finger to him silently promising it would be quick, then took your phone in hand. You expected it to be Kemi, your paralegal, with files you were expecting, but it wasn't her name on your screen.

MSG Lewis: What're you doing tonight? Going over an endless to-do list of contracts and briefs?

You smirked.

MSG: Not even close.

MSG Lewis: Wow did someone finally decide to live a little and cut loose?

MSG: This sounds an awful lot like the pot calling the kettle black.

MSG Lewis: Plead the 5th.

MSG: The Lewis Hamilton out maneuvered. Say it ain't so.

MSG: I'm close to your place. Just got back in town. Can you be ready in 10?

Your eyes flitted to Darius across from you who was taking the time to check his messages as well. You looked over him slowly, noting again how great he looked in his suit and how you liked the effort he had put in the last 2 dates down to the flowers he brought you and the activities you'd done. Things could progress if you chose to allow them to.

MSG Lewis: Is that a no?

MSG: I'm not home.

MSG Lewis: Okay. Where you at, the office? I can come pick you up.

MSG: I'm not at the office. I'm actually on a date.

You waited a few seconds, but he didn’t reply. Why didn't he reply?

"Everything ok?"

Caught off guard, you looked back up to Darius whose eyes were already on you. His brows were knitted with concern.

"Uh--yeah. I uh--I think so."

"A case?"

You thought about it and technically he was right. You were Lewis' entertainment lawyer. You were his personal attorney who reviewed the contracts after the company attorney said they had. You gave it to him between the eyes, never sugarcoating, and told him what was made with his best interest and what was made to capitalize off of him. However, when your services weren’t needed you were friends. Had been for practically a decade now.

Sometimes you couldn’t believe you’d known each other that long. You’d known him since he was just another F1 driver rather than the greatest. He knew you when you were going through school always on an empty tank all in the hopes of rising above the tax bracket you were born into. A decade later and he was dominating F1 and you’d more than risen yourself several levels past the tax bracket you’d been born into.

You were on the partner track at one of the largest firms in Europe. You brought in more revenue than most of the attorneys at the firm thanks to your high-class clientele. You'd both worked your asses off to get to this level and enjoyed the spoils of your labor often. You clubbed together, went to dinner, and sometimes did the vacation vibe together. You enjoyed one another’s company.  

"A client."

"Oh. Everything cool or---," Darius said.

Another message came in just then. "Everything is cool."

Darius smiled. "Good. I'll be right back, men’s room."

"Yeah."

Darius stood then walked off leaving you with the perfect opportunity to check your phone.

MSG Lewis: Is that right?

MSG: Yeah. 2nd date. Well technically 3rd if you can have 2 dates in one day.

MSG Lewis: Cool. Is it going well?

MSG: Yeah. He's made it this far.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

MSG: When he drops me home Ill text you. Come get me then.

Several moments passed before he replied. Again, you wondered why.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

The remainder of dinner you were distracted. Darius played all his cards right, even scoring himself the green light on a little hand-holding action. You had to admit he was smooth. When he pulled up to your condo building he walked you to your door then went in for a kiss. You hadn’t expected it, but rather than pull away, you allowed it to play out. It wasn’t a bad kiss. He hadn’t been too overzealous, only slipped you a little tongue, and had kept his hands respectful. All in all, for a first kiss it was a solid 8.

With a promise to call to set date number 4 sometime next week, you went inside and allowed yourself to come down. The dating scene was not something you enjoyed often. You always felt like you were performing, like men wanted a certain kind of woman, the perfect woman who they could prance around on their arm to make other men envious and that took its toll.

You never felt you had to perform with Lewis. Never felt like he wanted the perfect you. He made fun of you whenever you were perfectly put together for work meetings and said many times he liked you out of the makeup and heels. After another sigh, you took your phone out and texted him.

~~~~~~

-Lewis-

The ceiling looked like every other ceiling he’d ever seen but that didn’t stop him from focusing most of his attention on it like it was the most interesting piece of construction ever. His eyes should have been focused elsewhere but they weren’t. A loud 'slurp' echoed in the mostly quiet room reminding him again that he wasn’t alone.

"Mm. Why are you so distracted tonight, bae?"

Julissa's voice was as smooth as honey and as seductive as ever. He lowered his eyes to where she was kneeling between his legs and took her in. Her lips and chin were wet as she gave him her bedroom eyes. This was not the first time between them. Usually, it would work but not tonight. Tonight he was struggling to even keep his head in the room.

He watched her tip her tongue out and lick from the base of his dick to the glistening tip. Once there she swirled her tongue around him then sucked his head into her mouth. He’d have to be dead for it not to feel nice but that’s all it was--nice.

He sighed then brought his attention back to the ceiling. "Work."

"Aw babe, when you’re with me work should be the last thing on your mind," Julissa said before lowering her mouth down his shaft. When he felt her tonsils he groaned. His body wanted to like this wanted to give her the reaction she was working so hard for, but something was holding him back. Julissa's mouth bobbed up and down his cock sucking and slurping to her heart’s content trying to get him off, but he knew she had her work cut out for her.

He thought back to your text from 2 hours ago. You were on a date. Well shit, he hadn’t seen that coming. That was the last thing he had expected you to be doing tonight. It wasn’t because you weren’t desirable, or he thought no man would want you. For fuck's sake, you were beyond desirable, you were gorgeous and so damn intelligent. He couldn’t figure out which of those made you more beautiful, your looks or your brains. You also worked hard to be where you were, and you deserved all the praise and attention you got wherever you went.

However, sometimes he wished you got a little less male attention--x that, a lot less male attention. He sighed again. This had been going on for 10 years now. Your friendship had only strengthened but along with a strengthening friendship came a lot of other stuff. Stuff like him taking notice of the fullness of your hips or being tempted to peek when you’d been changing in the backseat of his car, or being painfully aware of how your breasts felt against his chest when you hugged.

That coupled with things he had picked up from you, made the unspoken and ignored things that much more—confusing. There were times when the way you stared at him when you thought he wasn’t looking spoke volumes or the way your hand always lingered on him for a few seconds longer than necessary but not long enough for it to be inappropriate, or the time you'd fallen asleep together on the couch and he'd woken to you wrapped around him using him as your personal body pillow and mumbling his name in your sleep.

Yeah, there was a lot of extra stuff, stuff neither of you ever addressed. The only ones who assessed it were his friends. Miles told him on several occasions that he should be careful before he or you fucked around, and someone ended up hurt. That stuck with him, but not in the way Miles had probably meant it. Rather than taking it the way Miles meant, he used it as a means to keep himself in check, a form of prevention from him crossing the line. He knew if he did, neither of you would be able to go back. It would be impossible and was one fuck up worth a decades-long friendship?

So friends were where you stayed until he added another facet--professional. Years passed, dates passed, flings, non-labeled encounters on both your parts passed and through it all your friendship remained, and nothing changed. Except today there was even more extra stuff.

The feel of Julissa’s lips wrapped around his balls sent his hips jerking upward as a curse left his lips. Julissa moaned and giggled.

“Daddy likes that?”

He knew how he would like it more. As quickly as he revved to that thought he steered away from it. That was when his phone sounded.

MSG Y/N: I’m home. Whatdaya you wanna do? Should I change?

His eye caught the time. 1am. Almost 3 hours from your last text and you were only now getting home. Clenching his jaw he took a deep breath. He had no right to be mad or annoyed right now. He knew where this was coming from. You’d been on a date, and you said it was going well. A date going well had a chance of making it upstairs. He closed his eyes squeezing them tightly. He hoped to God that you hadn’t just gotten it in.

MSG Y/N: Hello?

MSG: You don’t have to change. How about some treats and a view?

MSG Y/N: Okay. Still 10?

MSG: Make it 15.

Pulling himself up he reached down to stop Julissa. She looked confused.

“I gotta go J.”

Now she looked even more confused. He didn’t owe her an explanation, that’s not how this worked between them.

“With your dick out?”

He scoffed then fixed himself as he stood.

“Lewis this’s never happened before. Are--,” she began before he cut her off.

“All good, just—not in the mood I guess.”

She looked offended now. “I’m sorry J. We’ll talk.”

He walked to the door then left her apartment without a glance back. He didn’t feel any way about it because both of them knew what their relationship was and wasn’t. She’d agreed. Once he was in his car, he zipped through the London streets maneuvering the quickest route to your place. Thanks to the time it was an easy drive with minimal traffic. 15 minutes on the dot he swerved around to the front of your luxury condo building then sent you a text letting you know he was there.

A few minutes later, he peeped you from the corner of his eye. You walked off the elevator in a short and tight black dress, impossibly high strappy black heels, and a flowy robe-like jacket that danced behind you as you walked.

“Fuck.”

You were beautiful. Just then the thought that you’d gone on a date dressed like this rubbed him wrong. Some other man had seen this view, a view you gave willingly. Clenching his jaw, he looked through his windshield as he tried to push all those thoughts—all that other stuff to the side as he’d done countless times before. He looked back just in time to see you open the door of his car then climb in. His eyes dropped to your legs but seconds later he corrected that.

“Hi!”

Your smile was bright as if you really were as happy to see him as your voice indicated.

“Hey.”

You reached over and pressed your cheek to his for a bougie kiss. The only thing he could think was that you smelled like a treat all by yourself.

“How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Good. Wow, what’s it been? 2 months?”

He shrugged as he shifted gears and took off. “Something like that.”

“Mercedes sure knows how to keep you busy,” you teased.

He tried to focus on the road but from his peripheral, he could see you crossing your legs displaying even more skin.

“What were you doing? You smell like fruits.”

He chastised himself because he hadn’t done a bit of cleaning up before he came. His only thought was you. Julissa’s fruity lip gloss still stained his dick that he couldn’t manage to get hard for her.

“Nowhere special. Just kickin’ it.”

You didn’t press further which said you knew just what he was doing. He clenched his jaw again, this time annoyed with himself. As he drove to the dessert place you told him about what was going on in your life while he shared some bits of his with you. Like always conversation flowed like a calm river. It was something he loved. It didn’t take long for him to pull up to the drive-thru of the vegan dessert shop. When it was his turn at the window he tipped his hat lower and left the ordering to you.

You ordered damn near everything on the menu. You didn’t care if it was cake, cupcake, ice cream, brownie, or whipped cream. You ordered at least 2 of everything. It took the staff a good 5 minutes to prepare it all and when he loaded them in the backseat it was completely filled. When he looked at you with an “are you serious right now” look, all you did was giggle. Fuck, he thought. There went all that extra stuff again.

“There is no way we can finish all this,” he said looking at the bags they’d moved to the front since parking at their destination.

“Speak for yourself. I always have room for sugar, sugar.”

He snorted then shook his head. “Mad whack.”

Your jaw dropped as you gaped at him, and you looked too fucking adorable. You sifted through the bags until you found the dessert you wanted—the vanilla bean cheesecake. Your eyes lit up as you gawked at the large slice that was topped with white chocolate shavings. “It's so pretty,” you gushed.

He watched you snap picture after picture of the treat before you took your first forkful. When you did, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a completely indulgent, hearty, and dick-hardening moan. The fuck, he thought as his dick spasmed to life. Quickly he moved one of the bags to his lap and looked out the window.

“This is so good,” you obliviously said still munching on cake.

He pulled out the vegan chocolate truffle cake and took a bite. It too was good.

“That looks good. Is it?”

“Try it,” he said holding out a forkful to your mouth.

You paused for a split second then cut off a piece of your cheesecake before you held your fork to his mouth.

“You try too.”

The image that came to mind was that of a new husband and wife feeding each other wedding cake and with it, his throat went dry. He knew if he tried to speak he’d sound like a pre-pubescent boy, so he wrapped his lips around your fork taking the piece of cake then fed you his. Your eyes lingered on one another for a few moments nut when you moaned again his dick spasmed again. with that he turned his head so fast that he was surprised he hadn’t snapped his own neck in the process.

“So good,” you repeated.

The two of you sat there commenting on the desserts you went through in record time. He didn’t indulge in sweets often but when he did he found it was usually with your sugar-addicted ass. You said there were 4 things in life you would never give up, sugar, your favorite perfume, your favorite underwear set, and sex. He believed you on all points. When there were only a few pieces of cake left the silence in the car stretched.

“So—a date huh.”

“A date.”

“I thought you gave up dating.”

You took a deep breath then slowly released it before turning your body at an angle facing him. The hem of your dress hiked a little higher and he forced himself to look away.

“I did. Then I got bored and he asked.”

“What does he do?”

You didn’t answer automatically, instead, you took another forkful or 2 of cake, then you spoke.

“He’s an attorney.”

“I thought you didn’t date attorneys.”

“I don’t but me and the girls were talking, and it clicked that by x-ing out a whole career field greatly decreased me finding someone who could stick around.”

He paused. Stick around? This was new.

“Stick around? Are you—are you looking for something—serious?”

You took a beat then shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought the other day, I have everything I have ever wanted. I am on this partner track, I make very high 6 figures, I have a great condo, my mental health is amazing, I have no debt, no baby daddies or drama, I—I’m kinda a catch but I go to sleep alone 98% of my nights. I come home to an empty place, I have no meaningful text exchanges, there is—nothing fulfilling in my life. I began to wonder if it was time to change all of that last bit.”

Silence stretched again as he thought over your words while studying you. This was the first time he’d heard you speak like this. Usually, you changed the subject or downplayed having any other thoughts than fun, sex, and work. Now hearing the vulnerability in your voice he knew you’d come to a point where all of this, intention-free dating, pastime sex, stress-busting flirting and all the meaningless interactions were unfulfilling and empty. You wanted more, you wanted love, a life, a husband, kids, vacation homes, and retirement funds, you wanted the quintessential definition of it all. He also noted you now found everything he was currently partaking in meaningless and unfulfilling.

Dropping his head, he stabbed the cake still in his hands. The more puncture holes it picked up the less and less he wanted it.

“Fuck, maybe I’m just bored and need a really, really, good fuck.”

He snorted but it was humorless.

“Don’t downplay what you feel, Y/N. Don’t—make what you feel insignificant, so you feel less vulnerable. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s you and me here.”

“It’s just—you—I know those are things you don’t necessarily want and you’re happy with the--.”

“Who said I don’t want those things?”

His tone was sharp and defensive though he hadn’t meant for it to be.

“Uh—you did.”

“No. I said it’s not something I can afford right now with my schedule and my contract extension. I didn’t say I never wanted it.”

You looked away from him to out the window. “Yeah, but your actions say a lot different,” you mumble.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N, look at me. What does that mean?”

You sat quietly for a few moments then just when he was about to ask again you blurted.

“There is a difference between I don’t want it now and I don’t want it ever. Someone who wants it someday would leave themselves open to it rather than boxing every interaction they have into--other things.”

“What if I don’t want to open myself to it?”

“That’s clear Lew.”

“No. You don’t get it. What if I don’t want to open myself to it because I don’t want to find the perfect thing—the perfect woman and then be fucked because it’s too soon and too hard to keep her in my world to wait until I can make those commitments because my world is fucked—I’m fucked because I want the world and will actually keep going until I get it anyone else be damned.”

He could feel your eyes on him, and it was his turn to feel vulnerable and exposed.

“You think because you put everyone in one box it stops what’s meant to be from—being?”

He glanced at you with a pained expression, he knew it. He was actually feeling pain.

“Also—you’re not fucked because you want the world. I want the fucking world. Am I fucked?”

“To be determined.”

You both busted out laughing then. You laughed for a good minute then smiled as it tapered off.

“Aren’t you the tiniest bit lonely in the other side of your life—away from F1?”

He didn’t need to think about that. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to tell you. The facts were that he was lonely more times than not. That was when he called someone to come distract him or make him feel good. He’d become an expert in the art of distraction. In his life, he only had time and the capacity for low stress and no mess. He had enough of both already.

He felt your hand creep into his and squeeze gently. Suddenly, there was all this other stuff again. The feel of your smaller hand in his larger one was something he really liked. Usually, when either of you took the other’s hand it was in passing or for a second, but the moment lingered and stretched, and still you kept your hand in his swirling your fingers against his palm and other fingers. He liked this too much.

“You can tell me. I won’t judge you. In fact—I’m lonely.”

His eyes slipped to you. Your head was down staring at your hands. It had now moved to trace the tattoos on his hand with the point of your nail as if his flesh were an adult coloring book. He watched you trace the rose on his pinky, then the planets on his ring finger. When you got to the lined arrow down his middle, he was having trouble swallowing again. Slowly, you traced the spaceship then went up across the sword until you reached his wrist.

He didn’t know if there was rhyme or reason to your movements or if you were just absently doing it. Goosebumps peppered his skin when you went up his forearm. He looked at you just before your eyes met his.

“You are?”

You nodded. “I am,” you whispered.

The air was on but inside the car easily felt like a sweltering 99 degrees. He didn’t know if it was from your touch or if it was the shift in the air between you. Did you notice it too?

“I think it’s okay to be lonely especially looking at how we live. We’re always working, always pushing ourselves to and through glass ceilings and when we do there is no one really there to share it with, not really, not in the way that fulfills,” you said.

Your face was closer to his now. Had he moved closer or was it you? Your eyes met again, and the temperature kicked up again. Fuck, he thought as his dick recklessly spasmed, begging for attention.

“I’m never lonely with you,” he said before his brain could stop his mouth.

A small smile lit your face, “Me too. Never with you.”

The smile slipped. “Well—not always.”

He turned to you more now, curiosity filling him. “What do you mean?”

You stayed quiet for a few moments but kept tracing his skin with your nail.

“There are times I can’t—guess what you’re thinking. Times I can’t—figure you out.”

“Then ask me.”

“Would you really tell me?”

He leaned closer. “I’d tell you anything.”

You searched his eyes, but you didn’t move back.

“Anything?”

He nodded slowly. His head felt hazy like you had him under some sort of spell with nothing more than your presence and the tip of your finger and all he truly wanted was to touch you in return. So he did. Reaching across to your exposed knee, he circled his finger around the smooth skin there. You sucked in a breath the moment his finger touched you and that one action nearly had him pulling you across the partition right onto his lap. Nearly.

So there on a hill that overlooked London, in his car, sitting near enough to a lone road light, you trailed your finger across his forearm while he did the same to your knee. The low light that illuminated the car bathed your skin in amber making him feel like you were on a whole different plane of existence rather than this real proven and tangible one. Your eyes held him in place to the point where he felt like he couldn’t move though he wanted to.

Without even realizing it you were mere inches from him. In fact, you were so close he could make out the hidden colors in your eyes, so close he could smell the fragrance on your skin that went deeper than perfume. This was your essence and by God he was intoxicated. Unable to stop himself, he inched his hand higher gripping your inner thigh. A soft moan fell from your lips and that was all it took for him to press his forehead to yours like the sound was tethered to his very core.

“Y/N,” he groaned.

The sheer might it was taking to keep himself restrained was becoming too much. At this point, it wouldn’t take much for him to abandon those restraints and give in.

“Lewis,” you whispered.

Your voice was raspy and dripping with what he dared label as desire. Fuck, he thought as he squeezed your thigh. He was so close, mere inches and it wouldn’t take much to close the gap between his fingers and your core but still, he fought himself. He was so wrapped up in his own battle for control within himself that he didn’t even realize when your hand rested on his upper thigh. You were dangerously close to kicking the lid off the box of other stuff that he’d worked years to keep shut. Half of him silently begged for you to keep going and kick it off so everything would be out in the open and it would be do or die but the other half of him hesitated still. The unknown was a powerful and sobering drug.

Your hand inched higher, then closer to what was the rock-hard physical evidence that deep down, now closer to the surface than ever before, he felt more, wanted more than what was. He wanted more than he could possibly afford. Still, his hand persisted, it inched higher making your hips jerk forward. The knowledge that he’d hit a sensitive spot sent his system into overdrive making a deep moan from his lips fill the car.

On cue in response, your legs opened a few inches more, making way for his hand. Jesus Christ he thought. There was his consent, you wanted him as he wanted you. There would be nothing wrong with him slipping his fingers underneath whatever underwear you wore. Fuck, he hoped they were lacy and strappy. There would be nothing wrong with him letting your hand slide to the aching dick straining against his pants begging for your attention. Shit, he bet your hands would feel incredible wrapped around him. There would be nothing wrong with him moving closer and finally claiming your lips as his. Damn, he just knew they were as sweet as they looked, that they felt amazing. There would be nothing wrong with him pulling your body against his for more than a clothed hug. There would be nothing wrong with him cupping your breasts and swirling his thumb across your nipple just to see the reaction it elicited. God damn it, he knew your moans would destroy him. There would be nothing wrong with him finally learning what you tasted like, nothing wrong with him finally smearing your wetness across his lips. Holy fuck, he knew you had to taste like pure sugar and cream.

His cock spasmed again then your hand made the move for him. In the same breath with his eyes squeezed tight, he lurched for your hand, gripping you by your wrist stopping you just before you touched him. As he did that his jaw clenched, the only thing he could do to stifle the moan at the tip of his tongue. It came out as a half groan and growl instead. The strangled whine that left you said you liked it, and he knew he had to end this here. It took him some time to find the smallest bit of control to open his eyes, but he didn’t possess enough control to look at you. There was no way he could.

“I’ll take you home,” he said, voice low and so close to a whisper.

He tried to keep the longing, regret, and hope from it. Slowly he removed his hand from your thigh hoping with everything in him that you grabbed it and nudged it higher. You didn’t though, so he turned forward readying himself to drive. You didn’t move for several long moments; you remained there half facing him with your thighs still tempting him to go back and take things further. With his hands on the steering wheel, he trained his eyes forward. He could feel all the antsy energy bouncing off every cell of his body, he could feel all the need in him wreaking havoc on him telling him to stop being a pussy and do what he really wanted to, say what he wanted to, take what he wanted.

His hands squeezed so tightly that the creaking of the leather echoed in the intense silence in the car. Just when he was about to say fuck it, you turned away from him. You softly cleared your throat then buckled yourself in. Sighing, he pushed started the ignition then swerved out of the parked spot they were in taking the route back to the city. As he drove you didn’t speak, you didn’t even move. You kept your head turned away from him looking out the passenger window with your legs crossed away from him. Your body language sent a completely different message now. Before you were open and so close to him. Now, you were so far he wondered if he’d turned Miles’ words into truths.

~~~~~

-Y/N- 8 Months Later-

The loud ‘pop’ of a champagne cork echoed just behind you making you spin in that direction. A group was just behind you laughing and toasting to something you guessed was momentous. You sighed then turned back to the painting you were currently studying. The abstract lines and swoops looked so similar to the slopes of a body. The longer you stared at it the more it felt like an erotic image than some random lines and swirls. There was something about it that stirred something in you, something that you’d ignored and buried so deep, something you hadn’t felt for 8 months.

You drained your champagne glass then squeezed your eyes shut. It had been a long 8 months. You’d worked your ass off times ten taking on more and more clients than before. You brought on 12 celebrity clients and 4 major corporate ones which brought Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw to the top of the field in revenue. You brought in so much money that you’d gotten 7 poaching offers from firms in different parts of the country.

Thanks to those offers that you hadn’t necessarily kept confidential, the interest in you for partner rose to unbeatable levels. Anyone you were competing against for the position paled in comparison. Those 8 months of ass-busting work led to your name being signed on the paperwork titling you as the new partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw. It was so much of a done deal that your bank account proudly embraced your new status.

With that new status came an increase in the events you had to make an appearance at as thee number 1 entertainment and criminal attorney in London. Your calendar quickly filled with meetings, speeches, appearances, court appearances, dinners, and more. You were so booked that the next time you had any schedule free time was 6 months away. You’d catapulted so far out of your original tax bracket that you’d shattered the glass ceiling that tried to confine you and now you wondered if you’d aimed too high.

“Looks like I’m right on time.”

You looked to your right and found Darius holding another glass of champagne for you. Smiling, you took it.

“That you are, thank you.”

“Of course. To you, the youngest and newest partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw and in the greater London area.”

You smiled as the man who’d stuck around through your insane schedule, your hot and cold behavior, your pull you close one minute, push you away the next, your disappearing acts, your reluctance to place a label on your interactions, your give me sex then get gone rule, and more for the last 8 months.

“Thank you, Darius,” you said leaning toward him and pressing your lips against his.

Darius moaned and reciprocated the kiss, snaking his hand around your waist and pulling you close. You felt like you were thanking him for much more than the toast and the fresh glass of champagne. You felt like you were thanking him for taking your bare minimum and it made you feel like shit.

Darius pressed his forehead to yours and instantly you had a flash back to the last man who’d done that to you. In a split second, your heart rate spiked, and an intense feeling gripped you.

“You don’t have to thank me, love.”

Your reaction to the action ricocheted through you making you pull away from Darius. Turning back to the painting, you gulped down the champagne.

“It’s crazy that your firm has so many celebrity clients and that this many are here to welcome you as partner,” Darius said in hushed tones.

“It is crazy.”

All night you’d been rubbing elbows with actors, musicians, models, athletes, and more. All of them congratulated you on your promotion and wished you greater success in the future. It was touching but a little bit overwhelming. You couldn’t let on though, so for the entire night you’d been performing, and you were nearing the limits of your stamina for it. You’d been performing for the last 8 months. Shit, you’d even been performing with Darius. You’d been performing ever since you were dropped off in those early morning hours those 8 months ago.

“Y/N,”

To your left, your paralegal now turned assistant, Kemi touched your elbow drawing your attention to her.

“Hey, girl.”

“Hey, you look incredible,” she said.

“Stop saying that please, you’re gonna blow my head up so big I just might start thinking I deserve a higher position.”

She giggled but gave you a look that said “well ya’ do.”

“The big wigs are asking for you, although you’re now one of them so--.”

You snorted while rolling your eyes. “Then doesn’t that make you the big wig assistant?”

She posed then making you laugh.

“I’ll be right back,” you said to Darius as you walked off to find those big wigs.

It didn’t take long before you found them surrounded by a group of about 10 people. When they saw you they waved you over with large smiles on their faces. You took a deep breath and approached them with an equally large smile.

“There she is ladies and gentlemen!”

The group smiled, patted your back, and welcomed you with friendly banter.

“Everyone!”

The music died down and someone handed Malcolm Boyd a microphone. He was your biggest fan, a black man who’d made unfathomable feats in the field and became an incredible mentor and second father to you. He put his arm around your shoulder as he always did.

“I am filled with great happiness and pride calling this woman the new partner here at Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw!”

Everyone began applauding then, drowning out his next words so he paused and allowed them a few moments before continuing.

“She has been with us for 6 years now and in those 6 years she has accomplished incredible things and when she was done with those incredible things she moved on to outstanding things. Y/N has reminded many of us of what it means to be determined and persistent. She tackles every case with poise, confidence, and grace and that confidence has given her that 99% win record.”

Again everyone clapped. You softly smiled at them half embarrassed by the praise but half so damn proud of yourself and happy that your accomplishments were being recognized.

“Just as Malcome said, “Patrick Halsey began placing his hand on Malcom’s shoulder, “Y/N more than deserves this promotion and I expect her to blow all of our minds in the coming months and years. We just might have to add another name to the plague.”

Many in the audience hollered and hooted at that and you couldn’t lie that the greedy ambition within you salivated at that possibility. You still wanted more. You exchanged a look with Malcome who gave you an all-knowing look. You just found your next accomplishment. The founding partners took turns praising you and giving reasons why you’d earned this promotion then raised their glasses to you for the ultimate toast of congratulations. You humbly thanked them and gave a quick appreciative speech before lifting your glass to the audience.

As you drank down the tart liquid, your eye caught sight of a figure you hadn’t seen in person for almost 2 months—Lewis. He stood at the back in a black suit that clearly was made for him. His braids were pulled back in the way he liked when he was tackling more professional events. He looked as good as ever. He lifted his glass of water to you and in response you gave him a tight smile.

The same thing happened that always happened when you met one another ever since that night. Your body went through this strange cycle of reaction, excitement, confusion, hurt, anger, annoyance, and disappointment. It was exhausting. Because of these feelings, you regretted that night. You regretted allowing your thoughts to go so astray that you opened up your ‘what if’ box. You regretted every whisper, every lean in, every almost touch, every lingering look, everything. You even regretted getting out of his car when he pulled up to your condo instead of pulling him by his hair to you and telling him to go upstairs with you. you didn’t know what you regretted more.

The worst part was that you had to continue on like always. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem because that night was not the first night there had been many ‘what if’ nights over your decade-long friendship. The common factor was that both of you moved on and slinked back into the basics of your relationship—comfort and friendship. This time is difficult, so difficult you contemplated passing his case off to another attorney. If it hadn’t been for Malcome talking you out of it he would have been someone else’s responsibility. Instead, you put on your big girl panties and a mask and did something you never thought you’d ever do with him—performed.

When the crowd thinned out and everyone returned to what they were doing you began making your way back to Darius in the opposite direction. You were ready to leave. Before you got far Lewis stepped in front of you stopping you in your tracks.

“Congratulations, Y/N.”

Smiling, you thanked him.

“You look--,” his words stalled as his eyes roamed your body. You noted the conflicted look on his face before it disappeared. “Incredible,” Lewis finished.

His compliment made your body warm and something like hope filled you. Chastising yourself you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you. You look nice too.”

Lewis scoffed softly then nodded. You then tried to slip by him, however, Lewis wasn’t having it. Again, he stepped in front of you.

“In a rush to get away from me?”

“Why would you say that? Have you done anything to me for me to want that?”

Silence stretched and Lewis studied you his jaw clenched tightly. Instead of speaking, he looked down, an act of defeat.

“Can we talk, Y/N?”

“We’re talking right now.”

He gave you an unamused look, but you kept your nonchalant, innocent one. Unexpectedly Miles approached then.

“There she is--partner lady. Congratulations Y/N.”

You smiled then hugged Miles. “Thank you!”

“This is incredible news, Y/N. So happy for you.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you for coming,” you replied.

“You know me, always this fool’s plus one.”

You smiled then the silence returned for a few seconds before Lewis spoke again.

“Maybe we can go somewhere—quiet after this?”

“Unfortunately I don’t think I can.”

“Why?”

Just then Darius approached and wrapped his arm around your waist resting his hand on your hip. You watched Lewis’ eyes drop to that hand and continued to watch as his jaw turned tight as if it filled with cement.

“Oh wow. Lewis Hamilton,” Darius said turning to you, his voice awestricken. “Babe it’s Lewis Hamilton.”

You nodded as a soft smile played on your lips. “Let me introduce you. Darius, this is one of my clients, Lewis Hamilton, and his best friend Miles Chamley-Watson fencing champion and Olympian. Miles, Lewis this is my—.”

You hesitated and in the same second, you felt Darius’ eyes on you filled with hope. Two other pairs of eyes were on you--one giving complete double eyeball emoji and the other searing you almost daring you to continue. The longer you didn’t speak, you watched Darius’ hope turn to disappointment. Glancing back at Lewis you found his eyebrow up with a curious and confrontational look while Miles was the epitome of if ‘well this is awkward’ was a person.

“This is Darius Forrester.”

You felt even more like shit now. Darius shook Lewis’ hand first then Miles’. While he did Lewis looked him over sizing him up. You knew he was wondering if he was the same man from those months ago when you’d told him you were on a date.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m a fan,” Darius said to Lewis.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I can sign something for you if you want.”

You rolled your eyes at his underhanded jab while a half chortle escaped Miles. Darius on the other hand leapt at the opportunity, handing Lewis the only thing he had, an art bidding ballot. Lewis signed the back but kept his eyes on Darius’ hand on your hip.

“Bidding on some art tonight?”

“I am. There is a piece this gorgeous angel has been staring at all night, it’ll be my gift to her for her promotion,” Darius explained rubbing your hip.

You smiled at him then kissed his cheek. Lewis now looked entertained while Miles’ eyes widened as he finished the drink in his hand.

“Ehm, anyway. So I’m sorry I can’t pencil you in tonight but if you call Kemi and make an appointment she’ll get you on the calendar for a different day for that talk,” you said.

“Plans tonight,” Miles guessed looking between you and Darius.

“Absolutely. I’ve had way too much to drink and plan on taking advantage of that.”

You leaned closer to Darius kicking up your performance another notch. Lewis smirked but also clenched his jaw to that. Miles whistled while nodding his head.

“Go on then Ms. Partner, fly by the seat of your panties or no panties,” Miles teased making you and Darius chuckle while Lewis gave him an unamused look.

“Well, enjoy your evening gentlemen. Thank you again for coming by,” you said before you made a move to walk off with Darius.

As you walked away you placed your hand over Darius’ and slyly slipped it lower to rest on your ass. You knew Lewis was watching and decided to deliver the last blow. Was it petty? Yes. Was it fair to Daius? Not at all.

The next hour or so passed with you roaming around the gallery looking at the art while Darius flirted with you. As you roamed, no matter where you went you saw Lewis from the corner of your eye and no matter how much space was between you, your skin reacted as if Darius’ touch was his. The more you felt that way the reality that Darius’ touch was in fact all his own annoyed you making you feel even worse. You knew what needed to be done and knew it had to be done soon.

The only way you could distract yourself was with glass after glass of champagne. As you emerged from one of your countless trips to the bathroom you bumped into Miles.

“Funny bumping into you here.”

You smiled warmly, “Still here? I thought you and Lewis left hours ago.”

“You knew we were still here,” he accused.

You tried to give an affronted look but failed. He was right. Sighing, your act fell for the first time that night.

“Wow. Feels good to not perform huh.”

You looked at Miles and wondered just how much he knew. He didn’t keep you in suspense long.

“What a twisted web we weave when we practice to deceive.” He scoffed, shook his head then continued, look, I am going to tell you the same thing I told Lewis.”

You perked up then but tried to play it off.

“You better stop playing before somebody gets hurt and by the looks of it, it’s gonna be your homeboy Darius if not all three of you.”

You took in his words then put your mask back in place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah you do, just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

Your curiosity peaked then. “What are you talking about Miles? What do you think you know?”

He scoffed. “I’m a straightforward kinda guy so I’ll say I know everything. As the neutral 3rd party who is both on the outside looking in and the inside watching this train wreck, I know everything. I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Your eyes lingered and the longer they did the more you got his meaning. Glancing away you tried to pretend like his words meant nothing, but you knew you were failing.

“I get it, I really do; 10 years is a long time to put at risk but are you really putting it at risk knowing all you know? You have 10 years of proof. Man up.”

Miles leaned in, kissed your cheek, and whispered, “Let homeboy go so he can find someone who really loves him, someone who can love him. Your corner is full.”

With that, he walked away leaving you speechless and confused. Your corner was full? You had no idea whatsoever what that meant, and you were tempted to follow Miles and get some clarification, but you decided against it remembering the last time you chased down the rabbit hole. When you found Darius again his expression was somber when he told you that the painting he’d been bidding on was outbid and that he didn’t have it to gift you. After assuring him you were fine, you decided you were more than ready to leave.

Darius got the car as you waited outside allowing the cold air to cool your skin. You didn’t care that you were risking illness because it served as a needed distraction. When you felt a fabric drape over your shoulders you bristled at first but then Lewis’ scent circled you and your body relaxed. Even that annoyed you.

“I don’t need this. Darius will be back soon anyway.”

Lewis snorted. “8 months, is that a record?”

“I think it’s a record for you, but I’ve gone longer.”

He scoffed then shook his head. “No doubt, remember Y/N. I will be here long after you get bored with them all. I’m always here.”

Your eyes locked and his should have been radiating cockiness that matched his words, but instead, they were gentle, open, and vulnerable.

“Will you?”

There was no time to reply because a car horn blared drawing your attention. Darius waved at you as he got out of the car to walk around to the passenger side.

“Good night Lewis.”

You walked away from him then slipped into the passenger side. As you waited for Darius to get in and drive off, you stared at Lewis who hadn’t budged from the curb where you left him. Miles’ words echoed back to you then.

“Just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

“You have 10 years of proof.”

“Your corner is full.”

The word ‘full’ echoed over and over as Darius pulled off. Bullshit, you said to yourself in disbelief.

When Darius pulled up to your condo you sat there marinating in all your thoughts throughout the nearly thirty-minute drive. It wasn’t until you felt Darius’ hand on your exposed knee did you realize he was still there.

“Are you okay? Want me to come up?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “We need to talk Darius.”

When you looked at him his expression said he knew just what you were about to say. Being as gentle as you could, you ended things. Although the old “it’s not you it’s me” line fit the situation perfectly. You dug a little deeper and gave him and heartfelt reason without revealing you were and had been in love with your best friend for 10 years and didn’t realize it until his feelings were already on the line. When you finished, Darius remained the good guy he was and told you he understood and that he’d expected this sooner or later. You thanked him for being good to you then began making your way to the elevators.

Halfway there you dug into the pocket of the jacket you wore and froze. When you took your hand out you held a note with your name sprawled on the front in Lewis’ handwriting.

-Y/N-

I’ve thought for months about what to say to you because there is so much to say, so much that has gone unsaid for so long that I don’t know where to start—how to start. 10 years is a long time especially when neither of us has been 100% honest with the other. I want to end that. Please.

-Lewis

You read then reread the note over and over hoping you would know what to do next but no matter how many times you did, you had nothing. So you walked back and forth in the lobby. When your phone sounded, you found a message from Lewis.

MSG Lewis: Ball’s in your court. I’m outside your building.

You froze then slowly turned and saw his car. It had been months since you’d been in a car with him and the thought of doing it again freaked you out a little. Your eyes met at that moment, but he didn’t move. He was giving you the time to decide for yourself. You turned your back to him then walked to the elevators but stopped halfway. After a few moments, you turned back around and walked to the doors only to stop halfway again and repeat the whole cycle. Still, Lewis didn’t budge. He just watched as your internal debate played out physically.

After ten minutes you stooped down and put your down, completely exhausted by your indecisiveness. Taking a deep breath, you held it and allowed your lungs to adjust. It was an action you often did to help you think and calm down. As your oxygen levels decreased your heartbeat would slow and as it did, there was always one particular beat where you figured it all out. It usually came right in the nick of time.

So you allowed your heartbeat to slow and though you should have panicked you didn’t. You thought clearer than you’d ever thought before.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Miles’ words came back to you again and it was then you gasped filling your lungs with air. After a few breaths, you stood then turned to the doors. It worked all the time. With your head high and back straight you walked toward them then climbed inside Lewis’ car. Without a word, he pulled off then turned back onto the streets.

~~~~~~

Thirty minutes later you walked into a penthouse suite right behind Lewis.

“Why here?”

“Thought neutral ground would make you more comfortable.”

You scoffed and beelined right to the bar, tossing his suit jacket over the back of one of the bar stools. As you mixed yourself a drink you tried not to focus on him, but you did. No matter where he went you knew. You were hypersensitive to him at this point. You’d only meant to make a glass but ended up making a whole shaker cup. You kicked off your heels, climbed onto the bar stool then plopped yourself on the countertop. Once comfortable you crossed your legs and sipped your drink.

“Where’s Darius?”

“Not here obviously.”

“You and I are so alike it’s insane,” he said as he approached you, but he didn’t come close. He stopped at the sectional couches in the middle of the large living area and then sat.

The silence in the room was thick for such a long time you began thinking about leaving altogether.

“Congratulations again. I’m so fucking proud of you. You saw something you wanted and didn’t stop until you got it. You deserve this.”

Your stomach flipped hearing his praise. More than anyone he knew what you’d gone through to get here. It touched you. Looking away from him, you cleared your throat. “Thanks.”

His eyes remained on you as if daring you to look back at him. It was a dare you had to accept. Your eyes locked and you instantly felt it. There was so much to say. Just behind him, you saw something familiar. Squinting, you made out the painting you’d been staring at all night, the painting Darius wanted to bid on for you. It clicked then, the reason why Darius couldn’t win it was because Lewis claimed it first. You scoffed, the man was competitive and dominant to a fault. You couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture though.

Lewis sighed bringing your eyes back to him, “I don’t even know where to start,” groaned, rubbed his eyes then spoke again. “Maybe I’m sorry is a good place.”

You studied him for a few moments then took a mouthful of your drink. “For what?”

“You know for what.”

That night.

Those words hung in the air, and you did your best to remain aloof. Scoffing, you shook your head. “It’s all good Lewis.”

“You’re lying and you know it. I thought attorneys believed in the truth.”

“Who are you to tell me what my truth is?!”

You hadn’t meant to shout it, but you did.

“Because more times than not our truths match up and I am sure that what happened was not all good to you because it wasn’t to me.”

“And what exactly wasn’t all good to you?”

“The way we—I left things,” he quietly said.

You waited for him to continue because there was no way in hell you were going to make this easy for him. He wanted to talk so he’d talk. Lewis shook his head then hung it backward. He sat there staring into the ceiling for almost a full minute before he looked back at you.

“I just—flipped when we were—you were—you wanted--,” he stuttered.

You scoffed again, “Don’t flatter yourself, Lewis,” you said slipping into the barstool and spinning it around so your back faced him.

“What?”

“You and I both know that none of that meant anything to you. It’s all good.”

“Now who’s telling who what their truth is?”

You didn’t take the bait, instead, you kept your back to him and finished your glass.

“You forget, I know you, Lewis. 10 years of friendship and I know you so well that it was my own damn fault that night.”

“Whatdaya know?”

After refilling your glass you turned back around then hopped off the stool and walked toward the large floor-to-ceiling window. “I know that that you were with one of your rotation chicks before you came to pick me up. I smelled her on you. That fruity aroma was all her. I know that because of that tidbit of info, none of it meant anything.”

Leaning against the window you stared down at the view of London. Lights glistened down below, and you imagined everyone scurrying to where they had to go so wrapped up in their own thoughts or existence to even suspect that it all was fleeting.

“Okay, I’ll own that bit. Yeah, I was with one of them but that was only after I found out you were on a date.”

“So it’s my fault. I was on a date living my life, so you decided to get your dick wet. Okay.”

You took another sip from your glass not liking the direction of this little talk he wanted to have.

“I never said it was your fault. It’s just a fact. I texted you because I wanted to see you, wanted to spend time with you and you were spending time with someone else, someone you probably did God knows what with hours before you saw me.”

And with that, you were done here. Finishing the glass you turned and walked to the door.

“Good night Lewis.”

He scurried in front of you blocking your path. “Wait, please. Shit! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Two sorries in the span of twenty minutes, cool. Get out of my way.”

“No, Y/N, please wait.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I’m sick and tired of waiting. I’ve waited 10 years!”

“You’ve waited? I’ve—.”

Lewis threw his hands up then walked away grunting and talking to himself. He looked insane and it kind of made you pleased seeing it. He always appeared so in control, so aware of himself and his actions at all times. It had all gone to shit now. You stood there debating if you should just leave and let things remain how they were until the day you both just stopped talking and checking in and it ended up going on for another 10 years until you were just people who used to know one another, people who’d missed out on something. It was then you realized you weren’t wearing shoes.

“Shit,” you whispered.

“I wanted you that night. I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anyone, including anyone in the rotation. Do you know what I was doing while you were on your date?”

“Getting your dick wet. I know.”

“I was lying on Julissa’s bed as she gave me head.”

You scoffed, “Of course you were.”

“She’d been going for 40 minutes and still I was barely hard. No matter what she did, no matter the tricks, no matter how nice it felt, barely hard. I was lying on her bed with my dick in her mouth thinking about you on your fucking date.”

You looked at him then. Those were words you hadn’t expected.

“My mind went crazy thinking what was happening. The longer that went by without you texting me the thoughts killed me. As soon as I got your message I left. No other thought, just you. I prayed to God that the date didn’t go well enough for you to let him upstairs. Then I saw what you were wearing, and I couldn’t believe I was jealous. I was jealous.”

“Why?”

Lewis looked at you then. “Because he got to see you like that. You’d dressed up for him, wanted to turn him on with that outfit. He’d spent the entire night with you. He’d had what I wanted.”

Well shit, you thought before walking back to the bar. Rather than making another drink, you took up a bottle of champagne and brought it to your lips.

“Do you know what it feels like to want someone so bad that it fucks with you and everything you do? To want someone more than you’ve wanted anything. To want someone in a way that is new to you, so new that it scares you. Do you know what it feels to have this crippling fear every time that someone is in your grasp, but not being able to resist the temptation, the desire to make them yours? Do you know what it feels like to know that you only burn this bright, this hot, this dangerous with one person, and the burn is all-consuming?”

He looked almost hysterical now. “Do you know what it feels like to want the perfect someone for you? I’m talking molded for you in every way while knowing it’s not the right time for you because you both want too much from the world and because you know that because you burn so hot, so bright that you’ll burn each other if either of you ever let go and let it happen? To know you are so similar that you will either destroy each other or ruin one another for anyone else.”

The look on his face was so damn relatable. He’d just said everything you’d thought over the last 10 years. Everything.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me.”

He was practically ranting now. Spewing every single thing that he’d ever thought, confessing it all.

“So because of all that you try to keep up pretenses that you’re friends and nothing more though you have countless moments where you slip up and stare at them too long, or hold them in your arms from a hug for half a minute too long, or let your hand linger in theirs or around their waist to test boundaries because you just can’t not touch them, or even find reasons to do every single thing together. You take those 2 steps forward not realizing you do because the pull is too strong, then you freak out and leap back 5 steps. You do this for weeks, months, years until 10 of them have passed and you have this huge box you’d filled with all the other stuff between you that you can’t express or fess up to until that box just gets stirred by one action, one moment--one night.”

His eyes were locked on yours. Somehow he’d traveled across the room to the bar and was standing right in front of you. Somehow he’d locked you in the frame of his arms leaving you nowhere to run. Somehow he’d managed to inflate your chest with hope right beside your thundering heart.

“Then suddenly—everything has changed, and nothing can be the same ever again,” he finished, his voice a whisper in the completely silent room.

You watched his eyes lower to your lips and your gut flipped again.

“Do you know what any of that feels like, Y/N?”

There were only mere inches between you now and the sheer proximity of his body to yours made you shiver.

“H—how long—have you—felt this way?”

Your voice quivered in a way that made it obvious to him what his nearness was doing to you.

“10--fucking years,” Lewis replied eyes glued to yours.

He took one step to you, “I’ve spent the last 8 months cleaning my life, cleaning my circle because I’ve gotten to the point where I could no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. You’re number one, Y/N.”

You were frozen in place, unsure what to say, and even more unsure what to do. He was right, your truths usually did line up and this was no different.

“And I know it scares you, shit it scares me too. All of this does. I know my life is insane and yours is about to be even more so, I get you still have things you want to accomplish; I saw your face when Halsey mentioned adding your name to the plaque. You want it and I want it for you as well as the world for both of us. Our timing can’t be any worse, but something has got to give, love, because I can’t take another year let alone 10 of this.”

You took a deep, ragged breath.

“Where--,” Lewis began before stopping and chewing his top lip.

It was a nervous tick. “Where do I—stand—with you?”

For 10 years he’d been so hard to read, so nearly impossible to gauge, and here right now in the darkness of the room you could see him as clear as day. He was oh so transparent and scared you’d reject him. Scared you’d decide he was more trouble than he was worth. Scared he’d just showed you his heart and ruined your friendship in the process. Without realizing it you were crying; you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

Sniffling, you wiped it away, “Ehm, I broke up with Darius tonight.”

Lewis looked shocked. Clearly, he thought you were still together.

“Why?”

You wiped the other tear that fell from your eye then looked away from him. All of a sudden the room felt smaller than it was, it felt as if the walls were closing in on you. Lewis cupped the back of your head cradling your skull in his palm making you look him in the eyes.

“Why?”

“For the last 8 months, I’ve been hot and cold with him, I pulled him close one minute then the next pushed him away, I disappeared a lot always using work as the excuse. I was busy, yeah, but it wasn’t work. I was always so reluctant to put a label on what we were doing, every time he brought it up I changed the subject never giving him the answer he wanted. Even when we had sex--.”

Lewis took a deep breath, dropped his head, and harshly released it, clearly displeased with confirmation that he’d had you that way, but you continued.

“Even then it was usually always on my terms, and I always wanted him to leave right after. I was—I was always thinking about someone else, something else instead of him, and for 8 months I never felt anything remotely close to what I felt that night with him. over the months every time I saw you it hacked at whatever was going on between me and him until tonight seeing you again it just--.”

You flicked your five fingers indicating an explosion. I’ve become hypersensitive to you, and I don’t know when it happened. It dawned on me that—I was using Darius and it wasn’t fair.”

Lewis searched your eyes not hiding the hurt in his. You took a step towards him. “You’re right about a few things. Our timing couldn’t be any worse.”

He nodded.

“Our truths usually always line up.”

Lewis looked hopeful then.

“Your life is insane.”

The hope faltered.

“I do want my name on that plaque, and I will get it.”

A small smile crooked his lips.

Another tear rolled down your cheek and again you wiped it away, “I can also no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. Always has been because you’re my number one.”

He clenched his jaw then and the emotion that washed over his face rocked you. Like an earthquake rocking the Earth’s surface.

“I am scared.”

As this tear rolled, Lewis was the one to reach out and gently wipe it with the pad of his thumb. Your lip quivered.

“I’m so scared.”

Lewis pushed forward then, crashing his lips to yours in one swift move. Once your lips met neither of you went slow. The kiss was frenzied from the beginning, both of you wanting it all and not wanting to waste any more time taking it. As his tongue rolled with yours you closed the space between you pressing your body against him. Lewis softly moaned, wrapping his arms around you. When you bit down on his bottom lip he groaned then walked you backward until your back collided with the edge of the bar. Trapping you there once again, he kissed you without holding a thing back and your body responded to him instantaneously.

In a matter of seconds, you both were moaning against each other and completely wrapped up in the new feelings that were consuming you. Lewis cupped your face as he kissed you then ran his hands down to your neck. You couldn’t deny that this felt even better than you imagined. Moaning, you clutched his waist but when that didn’t suffice, you slowly slid your hands up along his toned abs, over his chest taking in the bulge of muscle there. When you wrapped them around his neck, Lewis pressed more persistently against you.

“Mmmm!”

Lewis tore his lips from you and put his forehead to yours. “Fuck, I don’t want to get too carried away. I’m sorry I should have asked first.”

“Consent fucking given,” you said before you crashed your lips to his.

This time you took control. Swirling your tongue with his you didn’t give him time to react or gain the upper hand. You wanted to taste him, and you refused to wait any longer. Teasing his lips, you nibbled his bottom one, taking your time to sensually suck on it until he moaned against you. The vibration shot through you making you feel like you’d only now just begun to truly feel. Lewis’ hands roughly gripped your hips, holding you steady so you could feel that you weren’t the only one finally feeling for the first time.

Heightening both if your pleasure, you sucked his tongue until he groaned. The next thing you knew Lewis’ had you by the hips lifting you onto the bar top. You wrapped your thighs around him and nearly came when you felt his hands pry your legs apart. The heat radiating off of his hand on your bare thigh reminded you of the night in his car and you prayed he didn’t stop again.

As if reading your mind, Lewis met your eyes while he slid his hand higher and higher and higher until his fingers crawled to your inner thigh. Softly he raked his manicured nails against your skin forcing a whimper from you. You bit down on your bottom lip and silently willed yourself not to cum from the anticipation. Suddenly the back of Lewis’ fingers brushed against your sex. Your gasp was loud, breathy, and stretched out as he took his time moving centimeter by centimeter until he’d trapped your clit between his pointer and middle finger. Your jaw dropped all the while he held your gaze.

When he tightened his fingers and rubbed against you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You knew then he was dangerous, and you were going to cum.

“F—ha—fu-huck!”

Your back arched, head fell back as your body moved like it were possessed. Each spasm of pleasure had you bucking against his fingers until you could hardly breathe.

“My god you’re so fucking beautiful when you cum, love.”

You giggled and moaned as the tremors worked their way through you. “Mmm, orgasms and compliments, a girl could get used to this,” you cooed.

“Good. This is your future.”

Lewis moved his hand, brought them to your thighs then lifted them. As he planted your heels at the edge of the bar, you knew what he wanted. Your eyes dropped to his lips then you moaned. Pulling your dress away from your legs you allowed them to fall back to the bar showing him not only gymnasts were flexible.

“Oh fuck,” Lewis groaned.

You watched his eyes drop to your sex and the look on his face was unlike any you’d ever seen. No one had looked at you like this before. He stared where your thighs met like it was the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen, the first of its kind and something he wanted to completely destroy. You now felt like prey spread before him like this, like at any moment he was going to pounce on you.

“Mmm.”

Lewis came closer and closer until he rested on his elbows and was just inches from your sex. The anticipation was killing, and he had to know it.

“I knew you were a lacy knickers kind of woman,” he muttered.

“I take it you’re a lacy knickers kind of man.”

“On you, fuck yes.”

With that, Lewis hooked his thumbs in your underwear and pulled them to the side. He blew out a breath in reaction to seeing you bare for the first time and that breath fucked you up all over again. You threw your head back trying to calm your anxieties, but just when you met his eyes again you found his tongue out sliding against your wet folds.

Oh—my—goooood!”

Lewis moaned and did it again and again until he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Mmmm.”

Lewis pressed your thighs back keeping them spread then went to town. If you’d ever doubted before that his mouth game was incredible you didn’t now. He licked, flicked, and sucked along your flesh making your back remain in a prolonged arch. Within seconds you were whining and writhing as his tongue worked literal fucking magic. The sound of Lewis’ slurping echoed in the living room and that was when your hands grabbed his head. Pulling his hair free you held on and bucked against his mouth.

“Mmm.”

He stuck his tongue out and let you take over. With every buck against his tongue, you called his name and the more the tip of his tongue flicked your clit the more out of control you felt. Your release was so close your body moved more wildly needing it at all costs.

“I’m gonna cum Lewis.”

“Cum for me, Y/N!”

You didn’t need to be told more than once and when you were right on the precipice you felt Lewis slid two digits inside of you. Just like that, your orgasm morphed from a toe-curling release to soul snatching one. You screeched as your body convulsed but he didn’t stop then, he pumped his fingers in and out of you then added a third finger stretching you wide.

“Uuuugh fuck!”

You barely finished your words before Lewis threw you over his shoulder, keeping his fingers inside of you. As he walked through the suite his fingers kept fucking you, readying you for him. When your back met the soft sheets of the mattress, Lewis still hadn’t broken contact. He watched you now as you lay there unable to control your body.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Pulling his fingers free he cleaned two of them off before you sprang to your knees to claim the third. As you sucked his finger you kept your eyes on his. You could see how badly he wanted you, how much he wanted from you, and you couldn’t believe he’d held back all this time. You took your time sliding each button through its slot until his shit was wide open. When you pushed it off of him you took in a sight you’d seen plenty of times only now it was different.

You brought your hands to feel across his torso marveling at each defined ab muscle and each tattoo. When you intentionally rubbed against his beaded nipple you noted the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. How had you never noticed your effect on him? How had you never taken it seriously? Bringing your hands back to his waist you undid his pants. You brushed your palm against the protruding mass straining against his pants which made him shiver as he grunted.

“Oops.”

Lewis scoffed then licked his lips and that was all it took for him to claim back some of the control you possessed over this exchange.

“Of course, you’re a fucking tease.”

You innocently smiled. “I haven’t even begun to tease you.”

“I bet.”

Lewis snuck forward kissing you one peck at a time, over and over.

“Mm, can you take it?”

“Any other night my answer would be yes, hell in an hour my answer will be yes but right now--.”

He cupped your sex with on hand and the back of your neck with the other.

“Mmm.”

“Right now, I have no control left. I’ve remained in control around you for 10 years and right now I just want to let it all go. I want to bury myself so deep inside of you there is no mistake that we belong to each other bad timing or not. It’s you and me, Y/N.”

You groaned as his words only increased the wetness between your legs. You kissed him again, then you turned your back to him and swayed your body against him. Lewis dropped a kiss to your shoulder as his hand crept around to cup the underside of your breast. You leaned forward getting on all fours with your ass poking out to him.

“Undo me?”

He didn’t move for a few moments, and you waited for him to enjoy the view. When you felt his hand rub against your ass you dipped your back lower which only made your ass poke out more. Lewis trailed his hand along your spine that the backless gown proudly showed off. Then he went to your tailbone and lowered the zipper of the dress. Peeping over your shoulder, your eyes locked as you allowed the dress to fall away from your body.

His groan was low—primal. It was all you needed to hear to know he liked the strappy number you wore that was made of fine lace. You expected him to take his time but instead, you felt him peel off the garment leaving you completely naked before him for the first time ever.

“You’re so wet for me, Y/N. So wet and so fucking perfect.”

You spread your legs further then stretched your arms over your head using your head to hold you up. As expected, Lewis flipped you onto your back making you giggle. You roamed your hands over your body, cupping your breasts then sliding them down your abdomen to your dripping core. The entire time, Lewis kept his eyes on every move you made while he pulled his pants and underwear off.

When he stood bare before you, your surprise could not be masked. You didn’t know what you’d expected in your late-night thoughts about what he was packing but you had no way of expecting this. Lewis gripped his length then slowly stroked it as he pressed a knee onto the mattress.

“Scared?”

You bit your bottom lip as you gawked at what the good lord blessed him with. It was unfair and completely intimidating.

“Now I see why everyone in the rotation was so happy being one of many.”

He snorted, bringing his other knee to the mattress between. Slowly he stalked closer like a predator with a deadly weapon in hand.

“There is no rotation anymore.”

“Oh yeah. The LH44 Harem has been disbanded?”

As he crept closer, you slid backward.

“You’re not funny.”

“So am I the first to usher in a new era—a new harem?”

Lewis grabbed your ankle then pulled you back to him making the backs of your thighs slam into the fronts of his. He then hovered over you before dropping an opened mouth kiss on your nipple. Sucking the peak into his mouth he sucked raising your back off of the bed.

“You’re in no harem. I told you, it’s you—and me,” he said nibbling your flesh.

Stared at him letting it all sink in. You brought your hand to his bearded cheek and rested it there.

“Are we really doing this? Like—for real?”

Lewis boxed your face in with his muscular arms and stared into your eyes. “I’ve told you where I stand, Y/N. I’ve told you everything that’s in here.”

He took your hand and placed it over the roaring lion etched on his skin keeping his hand over yours.

“It’s time you tell me what’s in here,” he finished placing his other hand over your left breast.

“You,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Before you could react or even respond Lewis thrust forward sending the tip of his hardness inside of you, stealing your breath, and every thought. A breathy gasp filled the air. Slowly he pushed forward, leisurely filling you giving you time to adjust to his size.

“Haaaa.”

Lewis kept his hand over your heart while holding yours over his as he filled you inch by tortuous inch never taking his eyes off yours. Your entire being was on fire like he was pouring molten lava inside of you with every inch he gave you.  

“Oh fu—Lewis,” you panted.

From the way his jaw was clenched, and eyes focused intently on you, you could tell he was feeling everything you were.

“How are you so tight?”

Digging your nails into his chest you tightened your leg around his waist and as if that was his last straw, Lewis flicked his hips forward filling you completely and tearing a scream from both of your lips. Neither of you moved for several moments but with every second that passed by your body blazed. Bucking against him, you slid your hand up to his throat and then gripped it.

“I love you. Fuck me. Now!”

Those words would be your ruin because he did just that without mercy and complete recklessness. Your moans and whimpers melded together rising in decibel and power until the entire room shook with the power of your screams for one another. As he plowed inside of you he didn’t go slow, he followed his basal instincts that were imprinted in his DNA, a need to claim, and dominate.

You’d never felt so out of control in your life. No matter how he fucked you, you couldn’t get enough. No matter how deep he went you wanted him deeper. No matter how he called your name you wanted him to scream it. You wanted every fucking thing he had. You wanted to leave him in shambles. When he flipped you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing, he held your ass in the air and fucked you so thoroughly you’d lost track of how many times you came. It didn’t matter because you wanted more.

He must have been able to read your mind because there was no way he could tell what you needed this soon, you thought to yourself as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you back, so he had your upper body hovering above the mattress.

“Oh my god, I’m cumming Lewis! Ooh shiiiiiit!”

He took advantage of this new angle and circled his hips as he jackhammered into you, fucking you as you did something you’d never done before—squirted. You screamed from the force of your release, but Lewis didn’t stop, he fucked you through it then torpedoed you into another one that you knew would tear you apart. Racing for it, you slammed yourself back into him relishing the mix of pain and pleasure that only intensified when Lewis bit down on your shoulder.

“You got one more for me, darlin? Cum for me. Soak this dick, pretty girl, drench me so I can fill that pretty pussy up.”

“Aaah!”

You clenched around him as you lost yourself and fell off the cliff and into an endless pit of pleasure. You felt Lewis spasm inside of you before he cursed and shouted his release doing just what he promised. Filling your pretty pussy up.

When the two of you finally collapsed on the bed Lewis held you to him spooning you while still being nestled inside of you. Bit by bit you came back to your body and slowly your body went from violent shakes to subtle tremors and a hazy feeling washed over you. Lewis peppered kisses along your neck and shoulder nipping your skin every now and then.

“Mmm. Oh my god!”

He snorted. “You good?”

“Good? Am I good? Are you—at the risk of swelling your head even more than it already is that was--.”

“Was?”

You searched for the words but couldn’t find the right ones. “It was,” you settled on making him laugh as he held you tighter.

“Naw, I was alright, you—you were,” he said making you snort.

“Shut up.”

“No, I’m being for real for real. It’s a miracle I held on that long, you feel unbelievable, so good, too good. You—are!”

You giggled then moaned, sleepiness creeping up on you.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep, I’m nowhere near done with you.”

His manhood inside of you lurched nudging your g-spot and just like that your eyes snapped wide open.

“Watch yourself, I know your weakness now.”

“You?”

“Nope, this pussy.”

Lewis snorted then flipped you onto your stomach again. This time he straddled you as he slowly pulled out of you only to plunge right back in.

“Mmm.”

“Still so damn tight,” Lewis groaned.

“You’re welcome to try stretching me out.”

Lewis jerked his hips forward delivering a bruising thrust as punishment for your your sassy mouth. It was a thrust that took your breath and made you go cross-eyed.

“Mmm, yes!”

“Oh, aren’t you full of surprises. Pretty girl likes it rough and hard.”

He did it again and again, making you hit the bed each time as you buried your face in the sheet to muffle your screams.

“God yes, Lewis!”

“So fucking alike,” Lewis said before lowering his lips to your ear. “Remember I love you 'cause I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Not waiting for a reply he held your arms to the bed then delivered on his promise. Everyone else was number 2 compared to you being each other’s number 1. Nothing else mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[thebadboyfanclub]

What Would I Do Without You? (Lewis x Reader)

Hey y’all so I’m slowly getting my groove back and I am very thankful that you guys have been so wonderful and patient with me, this was requested by @jenthustiastic and i must say I switched a few stuff but I hope you can forgive me and still enjoy it.

To be the partner of Lewis Hamilton meant to have a spotlight on you 24/7, eyes like hawks watching and judging every move, however (y/n) had this peculiar ability that made it look like a walk in the park.

From the minute Lewis posted her on Instagram and made it official meant that he had sent the dogs that were ready to tear her down, (y/n) took everything with grace and remained authentic to herself, Lewis was nervous about causing (y/n) pain, he knew that some people were ruthless, he feared that it would get too much for her, she was relatively in the spotlight, being a stylist and all yet this meant she was dipping her toes to another ball game.

(Y/n) never complained nor seemed to be phased by the comments or paparazzi, she was a social butterfly and quickly earned the respect of the fans, especially since she had grown a habit of meeting them and taking their little gifts with them to show Lewis after his race, “the fans princess” is what they called her that had started as a joke and then kind of stuck.

“Where’s the lovely (y/n)?”

Had grown to become a frequent question from the reporters when they got a hold of Lewis, Lewis would always bite his bottom lip and slightly nod before his eyes started to scan the room for the lady.

“I’m here baby!”

“Oh there she is”

(Y/n) did not like to watch the games, it caused her anxiety to see her beloved man sit in a car that went faster than the speed of light, her heart beat like a drum and every sharp turn forced her breath to hitch, she was content with hiding in the crowds and spark conversations with the fans until it was over.

“Don’t you care if I do well?”

“I care if you come back to me in one piece, that is enough for me”

She responded calmly once before she got lost in his arms, their naked chests colliding with one another as her head found its place at the crook of his neck, Lewis giggled as her hair fell on his face, and with his free hand, he caressed the strands away.

(Y/n) was scared, the track had taken men’s lives for the longest and (y/n) who was a massive fan of racing was now linked to her lover which meant that she found the concept similar to torture.

Lewis slowly got used to her routine, after the interviews, they would go to a room, and (y/n) would spend about 30 minutes to an hour just laying with him, well… at least for the majority of the time, (y/n) still blushed at the memory of toto having to knock their door.

“Keep it down! People can hear you!”

He scolded them, Lewis and (y/n) had giggled at the time still when the adrenaline wore off and she had to walk out with smudged makeup and her hair down instead of the tidy ponytail she had walked in with she clung and almost hid behind Lewis until they got to the car.

“We are never doing this again”

“Sure love”

Lewis had responded, knowing well inside that (y/n) was just experiencing the guilt of the moment, Lewis relished that he got to tease parts out of her that she did not know existed.

(Y/n) and Lewis were both fire holders, passion brought them together and the minute one even graced a finger on the other's skin it resembled a match lighting up, the one held the other as close as humanly possible and their eyes would speak the dirty words that they could not publicly even whisper even though Lewis was not one to shy away from leaning against her ear while she giggled after she had a bit too much wine at the dinner table.

“(Y/n)! Hi”

“Can you take this for Lewis?”

“Are you pregnant?”

“Can I have a picture?”

“Are you excited?”

Fans stumbled upon one another as (y/n) started to approach them with a grant smile, the Qatar Grand Prix was one of the most challenging among them, Lewis was nervous which caused (y/n) to be a bit wary, so she was always worked, walked up to the fans to take her mind off the track and hopefully time would pass fast.

This time it was different and as soon as her ears got used to the voices everyone went silent then her heart clenched inside her chest, her eyes snapped to where everyone was looking and she was met with a car that looked familiar spin out.

“No”

(Y/n) whispered, this couldn’t be, her hands mashed into fists and thankfully one of the bodyguards that Lewis had hired to keep an eye on her sensed that this would not go well, she had to be taken out of the public grasp.

The man’s arms softly went up to her biceps before he guided her back to the room so she could wait for her love, though her mind would not let her rest and she feared for the worst.

“Is he ok? Do we know if he is ok?”

“Sir Lewis is fine miss, please let us escort you”

(Y/n) complied and the only thing that could be heard were her footsteps until she got inside the room they had told her to wait on, her heels clicking on the floor as she went up and down the room, even if he was alright to be taken out so quickly was not the outcome anyone would have hopped.

The sound of the doorknob twisting forced her to a halt and then before Lewis could walk inside fully (y/n) had thrown herself in his arms, Lewis even if he was taken aback by it and took a step back responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and closing the door behind him.

“You are safe”

“I hope I didn’t scare you a lot”

“No, no, no, I’m fine, I just- what happened?”

“Russel didn’t let me pass him, he took me out”

“Took you out? How?”

“He-“

Lewis stopped himself from getting riled up, he closed his eyes to take a sharp inhale through the nose and then slowly let it out from his mouth, his grip semi-loosened on her and his one hand went up to take the hair out of her face that were misplaced from the force of her running into him full force.

“It doesn’t matter”

“yes it does, talk to me”

A smile appeared on his lips, he took her by her hand and directed her to the couch, (y/n) had always been a person to show love via physical touch, so when she straddled him Lewis did not think of it even for a second, (y/n) placed her cheek on his shoulder and Lewis thought it would be better if he leaned back so he was propped up with the support of the couch.

“It was the first round, I went to get the lead from the side, and then… I was out because Rusell-“

“I’m going to ask you this… are you sure it was his fault?”

“Yes, he should have let me through”

“What if he couldn’t? First rounds are crowded baby, perhaps he didn’t mean it”

“I am-“

“Unharmed, and you have already proved yourself and how skilled you are, Russel is young and your teammate”

“So that gives him immunity into doing whatever?”

“He drove himself into a wall if you recall, remember how embarrassed and disappointed he was?”

“Yes when only you came to see me on the paddock because everyone was consoling him”

(Y/n) lifted her head to be able to look him straight in the eyes, Lewis was feeling threatened, Russell had potential and he was breathing down Lewis's neck, she could detect the certain sense of failure in his chocolate hues.

Lewis scoffed as he lifted her as gently as possible so he could stand up and away from her, Lewis had years of experience on his back, yet when it came to (y/n) he felt powerless, she hadn’t even tried hard enough and he had revealed everything to her.

(Y/n) only followed him and slightly tugged at his hand so he could turn to face her again, a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips after she raised her hand to caress his cheek, Lewis exhaled as his shoulders relaxed once her warm flesh covered his.

“You can’t hide from me, you know better than that”

“I wanted to do well alright, is that so bad?”

“No, that is healthy, but we both know you can get competitive sometimes, give him some grace, you were in his shoes once”

“You should be on my side”

“You did not ask me to be yours because I was a kiss ass”

“No, smart mouth”

“All that I’m saying is that I care that you are here with me, however, it would not be right if I sat here and caress your pride and let you be wrong, is that what you want?”

“No”

“Good”

(Y/n) placed a sweet kiss on his lips that escalated into a butterfly one, her arms snaked around Lewis’s neck while he slid down from her waist and grabbed onto her tightly.

A playful giggle was heard by her before she pulled away a few inches so she could wipe the grace of lip gloss she had left on his lips with her thumb.

“Naughty boy”

“Always”

“No, we are not doing this it’s too damn hot in here”

“We will blast the air condition in the car after”

“I am not sweating out this makeup Hamilton and you have some making-up to do”

“Now?”

“Well I am assuming he is still racing but yes, we will wait together and you will own your mistakes”

“Must you always go against me?”

“Must you always be so difficult?”

Lewis kissed his teeth at her comeback, (y/n) had become Lewis’s lighthouse at a fast pace, she was a person he would seek every time something would not sit right with him, her hug, her wisdom, her smile of reassurance, her addicting scent as she wrapped herself around him at night.

Something about her soothed him to the core to the point that he could not rest well if she was not laying next to him(y/n) was his second in command and he secretly admired her calm attitude.

Lewis would often think about the times (y/n) would reminisce over her past self, how she was hot-tempered and argumentative, she had confessed that it was a facade she had created like an alter ego to protect her true colors, and there had been a few moments that he had witnessed her eyes glistening with anger, her slick tongue, it was usually when she felt threatened or people crossed someone she loved.

“What would I do without you?”

“Just argue with people for no reason I presume”

“You are being mean”

“Would you rather I lie to you?”

Lewis's smile brightened the room and his face and (y/n) pulled him for a tight embrace, she wondered if there was any way she could get even closer to him like the water of the ocean sank in the sand after a wave, his heartbeat was the most melodic sound for her ears, well, after his voice of course.

(Y/n) had always been a dreamer, from a young age she had filled her heart with hope to find her soulmate, someone to share her light and darkness, that one person that would feel like her fuzzy blanket, friends called her delusional and precious relationships called her suffocating and emotional, Lewis relished it, the small little details that showed how grand her soul and love was.

“There will be other races”

“I know”

“Do you want to speak on this some more”

“Not really”

“Alright, let’s go find George and then we can have a nice bubble bath, perhaps some lavender oil will help”

“Oh I love it when you talk essential oils to me”

Requests are open!

[blans]

the Perfect Abu Dhabi 2024 looks like this:

hamilton has a good last race with mercedes. i don't need him to be on the podium (although that really would make everything perfect, even fairytale-like. or imagine a win...) (okay. the delusions got me there for a second) but i cannot watch him struggle through his last ever mercedes race like he struggled in qatar. the white racing suits are already making me sappy, i can't handle another misfortunous weekend for him.

but you know what actually. on a brighter note and if we are already on the topic of delusions, nico hulkenberg is on the podium, thank you very much. no notes.

but back to being serious,

franco colapinto has a good race. even though in qatar through no fault of his own was he involved in an unfortunate collision, the fact that he had three crashes in two races (although i really think that brazil and its extreme conditions allow for a slightly more forgiving assessment of his performance) is not improving his chances of being on the grid next year. or ever again, really. the f1 community likes to have a recency bias, and a tendency to demand perfection immediately, allowing no room for improvement. these factors are pointing towards an exit sign and i can only hope that even if he doesn't finish abu dhabi with a bang (a good type of bang, please. one with points perhaps. definitely one that lacks anything to do with walls or gravels or broken cars), the prospects of utilizing the insane south american market that he has behind him is enticing enough for a team to still consider him.

bottas has a good race. and by that i mean points. unlikely, i know but delusions and hope keep people happy.

we have a good fight for p2 in the driver standings and for the constructors championship win. i need the mclaren and ferrari girls to fight fight.

kmag throws out any remaining fucks that he could give – it is his last race after all – and wrecks havoc. god bless.

but most importantly, i want to see racing, drama and a fitting closing to the insane season that 2024 turned out to be.

[mirrorball-leclerc]

big reputations - part eight

series masterlist // previous // next

charles leclerc i've decided that this week i will be driving like a menace.

daniel ricciardo i see track terror is making a comeback this week.

max verstappen no more inchidents please.

charles leclerc mate let it go already. it's been over 10 years.

max verstappen admit you pushed me into that puddle and i'll let it go!

oscar piastri i see why the entire internet is convinced you two are secretly dating

charles leclerc excuse me? max verstappen they're what? sabrina carpenter lestappen is lestappening

daniel ricciardo to be fair, they think k-mag and nico are in love with each other, have been since the whole 'suck my balls' thing

daphne jones didn't we have this conversation already?

max verstappen that was in the other group chat

sabrina carpenter YOU HAVE A GROUP CHAT WITHOUT US? THIS IS TREASON!

oscar piastri OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

charles leclerc THIS IS TREACHEROUS!

daphne jones oh grow up, it was started before you three were even in the picture. we don't use it much these days.

sabrina carpenter good. otherwise i'd throw a fit.

max verstappen don't you always?

sabrina carpenter i will make your life miserable verstappen

max verstappen you already do by existing every day.

lando norris MR. RICCIARDO ARE YOU OR ARE NOT A MASTERMIND?! THE TWITTER GIRLIES WANT TO KNOW!!

daniel ricciardo the hell are you talking about lando?

pierre gasly so you saw the same twitter thread i did?

max verstappen i completely forgot daphne had performed at the 2016 austin grand prix.

lewis hamilton huh that did happen

lando norris DANIEL ARE YOU A MASTERMIND?

logan sargeant was going to ask why but then i realized what the song is about.

mark webber i don't get it? what's the song about?

oscar piastri forgive him, he's uncultured.

mark webber that's it, no more sabrina time for you. oscar piastri sabrina said you can't separate siblings. tell him charles! charles leclerc yeah! what she said! lando norris wait a fucking minute, are you all together right now?

carlos sainz is that family thing working for you guys?

max verstappen it actually is. you should've seen the group chat after texas.

max verstappen on second thought maybe not. daniel ricciardo yeah, that's not a good idea. oscar piastri things were said by sabrina. charles leclerc well when you say it like that you make it sound bad. nothing bad was said, they're being dramatic. although, she might be in love with fernando daniel ricciardo you do remember the spa inchident don't you? alex albon they call him fernando rizzlonso

lando norris renamed daniel ricciardo

mastermind hilarious lando. truely.

lando norris you never confirmed or denied it. i took matters into my own hands.

pierre gasly question for sabrina, how does one get a song like nonsense written about them?

sabrina carpenter what an odd question pear gasly, i'd say by dating a singer? which is better for me because that way i can steal your girlfriend with no obstacles.

aelx albon she's a menace.

max verstappen THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!

oscar piastri it's not that great of a song. i don't get the hype?

sabrina carpenter added one person

sabrina carpenter oscar's been disowned. he didn't know the words to love story.

charles leclerc max doesn't either?

oscar piastri what the hell are you talking about sabrina?

sabrina carpenter i saw that mclaren video.

daphne jones it's one song sabrina, let it go. this is not going to turn into another spa situation.

yuki tsunoda excuse me while i go scream into the void

logan sargeant wait for me! lance stroll and me!

lando norris daniel probably

sabrina carpenter lando with all of his teammates

lando norris man fuck you sabrina

carlos sainz what's the spa situation?

daphne jones you don't want to know, trust me. oscar piastri for your sanity, you don't want to know. daniel ricciardo please don't get her started again.

sabrina carpenter mr. sainz, you truly do not want to get me started. as i said before, i may not have been present for spa but i can and will bite ankles for oscar.

mastermind so who's free to go to daphne's concert in argentina on the 11th?

lando norris SIGN ME TF UP!!

yuki tsunoda I'M IN!

alex albon depends, can i bring lily?

mastermind of course! - sabrina mastermind that's my wife! - sabrina

logan sargeant ready to dance along to the fearless era

mastermind bold of any of you to think you have a choice. I EXPECT ALL OF YOU THERE! - SABRINA

mastermind love the name btw - sabrina

charles leclerc to quote sabrina, "i expect ass shaking for vigilante shit."

oscar piastri dear i god i hope none of you do that.

lando norris well now i'm going to.

sebastian vettel well she's certainly something.

max verstappen she's a menace.

lewis hamilton huh, sounds like someone back in 2016 to 2018. max verstappen YOU TAKE THAT BACK! lewis hamilton i don't think i will

mastermind JUSTICE FOR ABU DHABI 2021 - SABRINA

oscar piastri she just likes to stir the pot.

mark webber sounds like someone else and the infamous alpine tweet.

oscar piastri okay, that was one time.

esteban ocon argentina right before vegas? doesn't seem like a good idea to me but i'm in.

lando norris BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!

jenson button so is daniel dating daphne or not?

mastermind that's a secret i'll never tell - xoxo gossip girl.

alex albon something is brewing i can feel it.

taglist: @glow-ish @agustdpeach @msolbesg @spilled-coffee-cup @1nt3rnetgf @six-call @smol-scream @fernandoswarcrimes @arieltwvdtohamflash @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @chiliwhore @tygecjjd @cataf1 @nothaqks @caipng @nataliambc @formulaal @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @hobiismyhopeu @melissayalene @nikfigueiredo

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! i’m back for 2024! i tried something different for this chapter and i think i liked it so i'm going to change it for all of the other parts, which is going to be a bitch because it's gonna take forever. it's also not that big of a change but i think it makes a difference.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet. enjoy!

[thetwelfthcrow]

pls rec max bottom fics? or omega.. him so catboy i'm obsessed! (please, it can be yours or anyone else's! i confess i have a favoritism for him being bottom in any shipp, but mainly in lewis and charles...)

bottom max coming right throughhhh babyyy!!!! 4433 only cause that's all i read 🫡

as alwayssss, if you have other recs, please put them down below or send them to me and i'll add them. these lists are never finished and will always get more fics as more fics get published <3

Want you to call me baby by individualist [@mediumtires] | 11k, explicit, complete

Lewis is retired and Max is dominating the sport. Turns out, Max really can’t deal with the pressure of it all.

o canada by leafycats | 7k, e-rated, complete

"The single text message he had received from Lewis hadn’t given much away, either. He could suspect, hope, even - but there’s no concrete way to know. Max hates the feeling, the uncertainty. Hates that he doesn’t even know if he can allow himself to hope after all of that. He still smells nice - must be the same cologne. October 9th, 2022 Lewis Hamilton: Congratulations on your win 🙂 You: Thank you 🙂 Today, 17:10 Lewis Hamilton: Hey man, want to debrief? Bar? You: Alright. Lewis must have noticed the internal turmoil Max is going through, because he breaks the odd silence. “I liked it, you know? The cooldown room. It felt nice, man.” It did feel nice, nicer than it has felt in a long time, with Lewis, at last - he’s glad he feels the same way."

A Stormy Season by AlettaMelody | 4k, mature, completed

Lewis tries to decide if he forgives Max for leaving him over their rivalry. Max chose to put racing and the chance of winning the championship first; Lewis is having a rotten 2022 season and could do with some love back into his life again. Things get slightly out of hand.

paralyzed by Anonymous | 3k, mature, finished

Max should have been freaking out. He should have been calling attention to the fact that Lewis Hamilton just used electricity and fucking shocked him. He struggled to get his thoughts together though because all he could think about was how damn good it felt.

all my pets are mystic by Anonymous | 4k, explicit, finished

Maybe the joke was too much. It’s kind of condescending, to refer to Max like a dog.

some day we might by c_e_1 | 9k, explicit, finished

“He has a girlfriend, Max.” Lewis snaps and stands up from the chair to face Max head-on. “Daniel has a girlfriend, and you still fell in love with him, didn’t you?” Max takes a step back, but Lewis is right there with him, following him back until Max has his back against the wall. “You are lying.” He hisses, because – it cannot be. Daniel has never mentioned having anyone at home, he wouldn’t – he would have told Max so if he did. Let him know if his heart wasn’t his to give. “Do not be cruel to me, Lewis.” Lewis laughs, but it’s a wry, mean thing that does nothing to settle Max’s anger. “Of course, you would blame this on me. Take some fucking responsibility for once, Max.” “Fuck you, Lewis.” Max says and pushes past Lewis before he storms out of the room. Or, that’s the nature of crushes. Either they work out or they don’t. Seldom do they make you realise you’re in love with someone else. But then, Max has always been special.

Melt Like Ice Cubes by WebCookie9 | 28k, mature, finished

Huh. There standing was a familiar looking dark skinned man, seemingly looking down at his phone or something but Max wasn't sure as the person was completely turned away from him. The sun was burning down strongly on that muscular back, making the skin shine and those damn tattoos gracing it were looking much too familiar to Max. The cross framed by soft looking wings. It couldn't be, right? What were the odds really that Lewis was spending his summerbreak at the exact same location, at the exact same hotel at the exact same time like him? It couldn't be. Maybe it was just some kind of hardcore fan or something, wanting to immitate the Brit. Yeah, that must be it. Or Max was going completely crazy. He should drink something. And get out of this aggressive sun.

Words Can Only Do Harm by orphan_account | 3, explicit, finished

Lewis bumps into none other than Max Verstappen at a party in Monaco. Things escalate.

i fall apart, you fill up the empty spaces by orphan_account | M | 3K | finished

"please, lewis, i need it, i need you to make me forget", max begs, hands on lewis' shoulders, head now in the crook of his neck, and lewis thinks he can probably hear his heart going insane. they both know his resolve is slowly crumbling, and when max places a small kiss on the black ink on lewis' neck, breathing out a soft, even insecure please, sir, lewis knows he's lost. or, alternatively: daniel cheats on max, max goes to lewis, lewis fucks the sadness out of him.

Negotiate by sainzjrs | E | 2K | finished

It’s blinding, bleeding and bending Max into someone else.

[wi55iams]

Worship (noun):

1. the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.

2. great admiration or devotion shown towards a person or principle.

I have a lot of thoughts about Carlos Sainz Jr and it's about time i shared them. I'm trying to write a fanfic but i'm finding it difficult to articulate my ideas, this was is test run of sorts to see if I can communicate a message in a way that makes sense. Enjoy. Credits under the cut.

‘Hope is the biggest of our foolish things’ -Alfred de Vingy // Mark Thompson for Getty Images // Carlos Sainz believes he deserves F1 seat // ‘To wish was to hope and to hope was to expect’ -Jane Austen // Carlos Sainz’s last race with Toro Rosso // ‘Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack’ -Brandon Sanderson // Sky Sports // Marina And The Diamonds, Oh No! // It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story’ -Patrick Rothfuss // Medium // An ode to my father, the matador // ‘Maybe if you sleep where another person sleeps and do what that person does, then eventually you’ll start turning into that person’ -Jack Cheng // Ferrari, one name two destinies // Jos and Carlos Sr on their sons’ rookie seasons // ‘Christianity is a religion built around a father who does not rescue his son. It is the story of a son whose father is a ghost’ -Terrance Hayes // Carlos Sainz poses with his father // Jos and Carlos Sr on their sons’ rookie seasons // ‘Perhaps it’s impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be’ -Orson Scott Card // Sky Sports // Junior status; Sharing dad’s name a mixed bag // ‘Who did I think we were. Who did I think I could make you. This is the oldest mistake, to confuse wanting with magic.’ -Marty McConnell Emily Kagan Trenchard // Sainz thrilled with first podium after Hamilton penalty // The Crane Wives, The Moon Will Sing // ‘If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask... with nothing beneath it?’ -Jodi Picoult // Top Gear // Carlos Sainz: the boy who became a man // Motorsport.com // Mikky Ekko, Who Are You Really? // ‘Sometimes we want what we want even if we know it’s going to kill us’ -Donna Tartt // RacingNews365 // Max Verstappen tells Carlos Sainz ‘I felt sorry for you’ // Racefans // Carlos Sainz has openly discussed his contract regulations // CNN // Sainz wins thrilling Singapore GP // ‘Who wouldn’t want you? Whose most demonic appetite could you possibly fail to answer?’ -Louise Glück // Sky Sports // Carlos Sainz Sr Wikipedia // 'Do you still believe myths can save you? Foolish creature. Let me be clear: every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered' -Tory Adkisson // Sydney Morning Herald // Planet F1 // Luvbug, Icarus // ‘Sometimes I prayed so hard for God to materialize at the foot of my bed it would start to happen; then I’d beg it to stop, and it would.’ -Marie Howe, // ‘Click here to be saved’, unable to find original author // ‘God’s favorite follower’ by Tumblr user quiet-plaything // ‘God is fucking with my oblivion. If he wants forgiveness, he shouldn’t have given us memory’ -Vi Khi Nao //  ‘What you have to understand, is your father was your model for God’ -Chcuk Palahniuk // John Mayer, In The Blood // ScuderiaFans //

[oldfashioned-lovergirl]

Can I suggest a lewis hamilton fic where the reader is their teammate they've basically been through through thic and thin and they have an argument abt lewis not tell you abt going too ferrari and they confess their feelings and let their frustrations through sex??? (( THIS IS LITERALLY SOO MUCH TOO ASK FOR SO UF YOU CAN WRITE IT ITS FINEEE)) - anon 🌺

☽ LOST IN THE FIRE — lewis hamilton x reader

tags: smut, switching control, sexual tension, angry sex, dirty talk, age gap

note: first ff I write in a while, please y’all be kind with my english :3 hope you like it, I thirst way too much for this man

masterlist

✧༺ ☽ ༻∞　　∞༺ ☽ ༻✧

The way the evening is ending is making you nervous and you’re not very good at hiding it. Well, you didn’t expect to discover the worst news possible in the middle of the after party of a fashion show in Paris and above all you didn’t expect to hear that from a stranger and not from the person concerned. Such person concerned is now driving you back to your Paris hotel because according to him you are “too upset” to take your own car.

Now, while you’re looking outside the window without saying a word, you hope he told someone to take your car to the hotel, or you swear to God you’re gonna scream to his face. You want to scream to his face so bad.

The city night lights are magical but you can’t think about anything that isn’t what you had just discovered. The atmosphere is awkwardly silent. Lewis is keeping his sight straight on the road, hands on the wheel. His profile is a picture you know way too well. It’s obvious he wants to say something. Anything.

“You know we’re still gonna see each other every week, right?”

“That’s not the point.”

He lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not.”

“I am.”

“I’d rather not talk about it right now.”

“Then what do you wanna talk about?”

“Nothing.” You miss the awkward silence.

You already had arguments during your friendship/coworking/whatever that is, but never like that. That’s different. You feel hurt.

He finally reaches the hotel. He can’t stop right in front, so he parks in the next street. You open the door.

“I’ll walk you.”

“You don’t have to.”

He gets out of the car anyway. You’re not surprised he’s acting like a gentleman even when you’re so angry you could punch him. “It’s 2 AM and I won’t leave you alone.”

You walk alongside him, trying not to look at his open jacket. The fact that he’s wearing absolutely nothing under it isn’t helping. Damn this man and his impeccable fashion sense. “You weren’t so kind when you lied to me about your new contract.” At this point you don’t even care if people hear you argue.

“I didn’t lie.”

“Oh right, you just forgot to tell me.”

“I was going to.”

“When? When you’re already driving a Ferrari car? Don’t worry I’m not colourblind.” Great, now you reached the point where you can’t keep your mouth closed. And he’s following you to your room because he’s just like you, he has to have the last word.

“Soon. And stop using that sarcastic tone with me, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Of course, my bad, you’re always right about everything. You’re so selfish and childish, running away from the things you love just because you’re scared.” You ask yourself if you’re provoking him too much. No, he deserves that. You’re about to open the door with the electronic key when he takes you wrist and pulls you away. He stands right between you and the door, preventing you from getting in. “Leave me alone.”

“I’m not scared, I don’t like to be ignored. You are the selfish one here, not trying to see things from my point of view. You think it’s so easy for me?” He’s raising his tone. He never did it with you and now you find yourself holding back the tears. “You can’t even imagine what does it mean to leave my team, to leave my friends, to leave… you. But I can’t stay anymore, it’s dragging me down and you know it.”

Those words touch your heart. You feel sorry for him but you just can’t forgive him. You simply can’t stand the thought of racing without him as your teammate. “Then why didn’t you tell me? We can fix this, we can make changes and…”

“I don’t want change, I want to be myself and I want to be listened to. I would have told you sooner but I didn’t want to hurt you. See, now you’re hurt and I don’t know what to do because…” You’re eyes are on him but he’s looking down. He’s still holding your wrist and you bet he feels your heartbeat going faster than him in a Mercedes. “Because I care about you and I don’t want to lose you.”

You try to release from his grasp but he pulls you close. “Well done, now you lost me.”

“You sure?”

“I hate you.”

He kisses you, immediately moving his other hand to your neck to pull you even closer. His dreads brush your shoulder. You try not to shake for the emotions filling you. You lose yourself in the kiss. You can’t think about anything else than your tongues tangled, so you completely forgot you’re still in the hallway. Lewis takes the electronic key from your hand and unlocks the door. He brings you in and closes it behind your back, pushing you on the door. It frustrates you that he always has you under his thumb, no matter how much effort you put into escaping it.

He wouldn’t force you to do anything, ever. You know that he will keep away his hands if you won’t make a move in that direction. However the moan you let slip makes him inevitably smile. You lick the gap between is teeth and proceed to kissing him more passionately.

He shouldn’t dare to laugh at you right now, not even if you’re probably about to explore each other bodies. You put your hands on his chest and push him on the wall of the bedroom so violently that you worry you’ve hurt him. Bold of you to even think you can hurt a F1 driver’s back. A seven times world champion F1 driver’s back.

Your hands travel under his jacket, brushing his nipples and causing him to hold his breath. His naked chest feels smooth. There’s no better feeling than having him finally in your hands. It’s a dream coming to reality.

“Oh you hate me so much.”

Can he read your thoughts? Or did he just say that because you’re mapping his upper body with your fingers? His kisses continue on your chin, then on your jaw and then on your neck. They’re soft yet so hot. You want to reply but you’re too worried to make another sound. His strong hands are now on your hips, they slide up to your waist, stroking it up and down, his mouth now reaching your naked shoulder and leaving marks on it.

He’s definitely now in control of the situation, as always. You want to regain it, but he’s good at making you melt under his palms. You want him in you so bad and you’ll have him. You take him by his jacket and drag him in front of the bed, quickly getting rid of his jacket. You push him on the white bed sheets, climb and sit on top of him. You can feel him hard.

He has the body and the face of a young god, he’s so flawless that makes your almost 20 years age difference look 0.

“Take off your clothes.” He commands.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

You pin his hands on his sides and begin slightly moving your hips. His eyes turn to the ceiling for a moment and his breath becomes louder. “You can’t torture me like this.”

“I think you deserve that.”

You stop and sit back in his lap. He looks up at you with his dark bambi eyes. They’re the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. You take a moment to appreciate the sculpted inked chest he likes posting on instagram so much, thinking about all the times you spent trying to hide how jealous those fuckboy pictures make you feel. Maybe the jokes you always make on the topic betray you.

“Does this mean you forgive me?”

You’re unsure about that, but what you’re definitely sure of is that you’re falling deeply in love with this man. Those puppy eyes are making you regret all the bad things you said to him.

That doesn’t change that you’re still mad. “We’ll see.”

He helps you unzip your dress, moving his hands across your back and slowly down on your ass, and you let him. The straps of your dress fall down on your arms and he stands in order to press his mouth on your collarbone. He takes your dress off, it falls down on the moquette. “I want you.” He gets rid of your bra and begins kissing your breasts like they’re the sweetest fruit on Earth. “I want you so bad.”

Years of friendship colliding into that moment. You want to shout, insult him, hurt him because it hurts you so much watching him leave, but the only words that escape from your mouth are: “L-Lewis I–“. You bite your bottom lip.

You can see through his pleased smirk that he couldn’t wait to make you eat that “I hate you”.

He takes advantage of your moment of weakness to take back control. He flips your positions and frees you both from the last clothes. God, his arms are perfect. “Open wide for me, darling.” His hands on your thighs are making you unable to speak. “Good, just like that.” He licks his lips at the sight of your wetness.

You can’t take it anymore. “Stop playing Lewis, just… just do it.”

He bends over you, a few centimetres from your mouth. “Pretty please?”

“Shut up and fuck me.”

And so he does.

[lil-gae-disaster]

Mandatory compensation for last OS

I have been held at gunpoint to write this.

@potatosneevees @hamalicious-soup @almaprincess66 @hiidkwhatimdoing7525 @half-eaten-baguetteee

Frederick was behaving strangely, that is something Jonathan noticed almost immediately.

The older of the two was not talking with the lad he was usually with, although it is quite understandable after what has happened with his other close friend... Jonathan could not imagine how enraged his dear friend might have been had Hamilton actually been hung and not been able to escape.

He was there for his only friend, of course he was, and yet Frederick wasn't the same. Jonathan did not expect him to be, but he can't help but worry, that's one of the things he could do best.

September was coming to an end and Frederick, for all awkwardness he exhibited during the last weeks, subtly started to distance himself from everyone he seemed close with. All except Jonathan, it seems. Apparently, he was more drawn to Jonathans presence and, if Jonathan himself were honest, quite useless comfort.

But this did not matter as it provided no explanation as to why the blond man was quietly leading Jonathan into the forest near their encampment. There seemed to be some invisible weight weighing down on the shorter one of the two since he was walking with a stiff posture, quite then opposite of his usual relaxed and open manner.

Jonathans mind was racing with reasons as to why Frederick was leadind him so far away from their fellow men as they came to a stop and Frederick gestured for him to sit down on a fallen over tree, leading by example as he also sat down. The tension between both men was nearly able to be grasped in human hand as neither of the two wanted to speak up as if disrupting the fragile peace they both have made between them, although the peace between them was as stable as it had been ever since they both got to know each other.

Finally, Frederick sighed and broke the quiet. "I... am supposed to leave tomorrow morn before another man here wakes. I will be leaving for the enemy, to gather intelligence." he confessed with a look straight ahead.

Jonathan felt his world shattering. "May I ask... why are you risking yourself in leaving when we already have spies providing us with information of the enemy?" He inquired hesitantly, his words slightly quivering with concern for his dear friend regardless of his effort to mask said worry.

Frederick laid his sapphire eyes upon Jonathan before closing them, shieling the true beauty and intensity of them from the world. "I need space to breathe, truly. With Ca- Joseph here, after what has happened, I cannot properly calm down and forgive him just yet. I am not leaving because of you, I can assure you." He elaborated, his eyes open again and looking into Jonathans to get him to truly understand his leaving is not Jonathans fault.

Upon the silence, Frederick continued. "I cannot thank you enough for the times you have allowed me to cry in your arms and how many times you have given me the assurance and stability I needed that day, you are one of my closest friend, I would never dare to voluntarily leave you. You are the one friend I would always return to, I value you and our friendship too much to simply leave behind over a crime you have not even committed." He had moved closer to Jonathan without taking notice of it, so that their thighs were nearly touching and Jonathan just had to reach out with his fingers to caress Fredericks and yet he stayed put.

"I... must thank you for your kind words..." Jonathan responded after what must have been eternity or longer, his focus all over their nearly touching bodies, the closeness of Fredericks face from his, and yet it was so far away. The golden locks framing the freckled cheeks and deep blue eyes in perfect harmony with the pale skin complementing it all, the kind man next to him who he wished to pull closer and yet also push away.

They sit in silence for long, enjoying their last moments together before Frederick had to leave and in the worst case never get back. .. He might never get back. This realization hit Jonathan as if he had collided with a horse. He might never have the opportunity to say what he has been itching to say to the scotsman beside him for so long.

Jonathan cleared his throat, actively drawing in the attention of the one he had been yearning to call his lover for several months now. With those intense and beautiful eyes landing on his, there was no returning from the reckless action he might be taking now. It matters not though, since he came to the conclusion of if Frederick were to start resenting him, he might have near no one left to walk among the living anymore. He has his mother, this may be true, but he did not want to cause her heartache should he disappear after the war has finally ceased and he will return to what was now his blacksmith. Were he to die, she would at least know him safe with god.

"I.. must confess what has been plaguing my mind for a long time" he began, feeling Frederick hesitantly reach out to grasp his fingers, what for he did not know, maybe Frederick does not know it himself. Jonathan continued.

"I.. have grown to appreciate you, my dear friend. You are beside my mother the only one to care for me, you have been my first friend and the one I cherish the most. You are also the one I ought to return to should fate seperate us as I find myself incapable on willing to be seperate from one as you." Jonathan took a deep breath and, perhaps foolishly, closed his hand around Fredericks, intertwining their fingers and squeezing Fredericks hand in his own.

He nearly got distracted by the joy of the discovery his hand fits perfectly into Fredericks, but the words of the man who boldly stole his heart distracted his mind. "I understand, you are also my dearest of friends, but why do you tell me this?" He asked, his beautiful brows furrowed in a confused frown as he met Jonathans eyes. In this deep and clear sea that was Fredericks eyes Jonathan could spot a faint hint of fear and worry.

Jonathan reached with his free hand up to smoothe the frown, it did not look as gorgeous as his smile did, but Jonathan found he loved the frown near equally as much as he loved the others genuine smile. "There indeed is a reason, ... my dear." He started and ceased to speak again, the hand on Fredericks forehead moved to cup his cheek. Jonathan resumed speaking as his thumb gently swept over the other mans spots of sun in his face.

"The reason being, I have fallen for you, dearest Frederick. Your smile, your mannerisms, your voice, everything you may have has captured my heart and laid it into your hands. I ask you not to give me yours, I ask you do not step on it out of cruelty. I am aware you may not share my sentiment and might even condemn me for those, but I must tell you this before you might never return and I am left with no heart and in its place a hole." He confessed, his eyes too busy trying to detect any amount of contempt in the other mans eyes that he failed to notice the faint reddening of the mans cheeks as he desperately attempted to surpress the redness that was threatening to place itself in place of the usual pale color.

Jonathan sighed, his heart finally light and yet it was so heavy with the impending judgment. He then decided to be reckless yet again. "May I...?" He asked curiously as his thumb caressed the other mans lips, a clear indication of what was left unspoken.

Upon the faintest nod he might have been imagining, Jonathan closed the endless distance between him and the man he gave his heart to.

Not even his sweetest imagination would have been able to recreate the feeling of Fredericks lips on his, they were the perfect harmony of roughness and softness. Jonathan let go of Fredericks hand and held the other cheek too, both his hands holding Frederick- his dear friend- and all his beauty that was rivaling the sun while their lips were intertwined. After the first few moments, the blond man joined in their kiss. It was more heavenly than what Jonathan might have imagined in his sweetest dreams, if Frederick was no angel sent from above with all his grace, Jonathan did not know what this man was.

They seperated when they both were reminded of their mortality by their need to breathe air, but neither of them slid away from the other. Jonathan still had Fredericks whole beauty in his hand as he moved to lean his forehead on that of the other mans.

"I am asking you", he began his whispered plea, "please return unharmed if it is possible." he asked, his brown eyes pleading into Fredericks beautifully dark blue ones as the other nodded.

"I will." Frederick promised, perhaps foolishly as he got up and made his way back to their camp to pack his last necessary items, leaving Jonathan alone.

When Jonathan returned at last, he found Frederick shivering and asleep. He did not hesitate to strip most of his clothes and join the man whilst shielding him from the cold.

And if Frederick left the next morn with pressing a kiss on Jonathans cheek, no one might now.