#even a person im very close to said maybe i needed him by my bed/nearer to me while i slept

[hxbrid-sxldier]

Had a bad night and I crashed out for a while (sleep after an anxiety attack) but Demo kept falling over which woke me up. I had intended to stand him back up but I crashed out again so he was on my bed next to my phone, and it was probably one of the better sleeps I've had in a while. I had left him lying there just like this, idk maybe I needed him to be there cause last night was really bad for me

[lissalizzie]

Okay so a couple of days ago I made a post about how I couldn't write fanfics about Chishiya because I couldn't imagine him as a guy who would be in a romance without sacrificing his girlfriend for a card or visas, and some very cool person suggested me to write an angst...AND I DID ahahahaha.

Ookay, somethings you should know now: I'm Brazilian and I speak Portuguese, I learned English by myself and this is the first time I try writing anything in English so IM SORRY IF I MADE ANY MISTAKE

Second thing would be

THIS IS ANGST SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT OR IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD OR UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE DON'T READ IT

It also contains death, psychological manipulation and violence

Please dont romanticize it too, it's not a romance story, it's just the conditions I imagined for Chishiya to be involved with someone

Chishiya x Reader

You were hurt... So hurt you couldn't even begin to explain that feeling.

It was true You were somehow grateful because you were alive at least... Your friends couldn't say the same, and neither all those people you saw dying every fucking game.  But you just couldn't... Not to think about how pointless was being alive and alone at that place... Alive, alone and fucking in love with a person who had an Ice cube in a shape of a card in the place of his heart.

You knew from day 1 when you met Chishiya and Kuina at the Beach, when that boy with the mysterious look came to you for the first time for "a talk" that nothing good could come from that. Nothing, except, maybe, for Kuina's friendship... She, who was the first person who notices the mess you was doing and tried to stop you... As the great blind stubborn you were, You just didn't listen at the time... You was at a fucking game world, playing for your life almost everyday, dealing with deaths and losing people... Missing the ones you loved the most, those ones you didn't even know if were or weren't alive... You could deal with a stuck up  boy, because that's everything you thought he was... Your mistake... Well, You've recently discovered You're pretty damn good in making mistakes here.

Chishiya discovered yout feelings because at some point you couldn't manage to fight for your life and hide it... He noticed and started to be there for you after every game, specially the harder ones. He didnt talk anything, he just was there... He didnt touch you either, but he got to spend more and more time looking at you while you both were on bed... Those eyes, just as cold as him.

You didnt touch him, but you imagined he would be just as cold as that look... But you also believed he would be that deep... Like oceans. Chishiya was a grey ocean that you wanted so much, and every day more, to know...

You was so fragile, so fragile when he touched your skin for the first time, twice... The first time with his hands that wasn't cold at all which just made you want him nearer... The second time with the lips that came from your face to your mouth.

The boy must've planned that for weeks, you could see that now, in fact, now you understand that must be the reason why he looked so much at you. You was that school subject Chishiya probably didnt have any interest on but really had to study to pass the test... So he did... And you did...

And for the first time since you fell into that hell you felt alive, you felt like someone, just one person was there, and that Chishiya cared... And that  he would do for you just as much that you would do for him.

You were so blind and in love... He started saying things about plans and you were so happy cause you thought that meant he trusted you...  The first time he mentioned you on a plan you couldn't stop smiling, you were finally a part of someone's life there, it was like having a purpose again... And also being with him felt so much like action and... Not knowing about the next second because he was so... cloudy.

God, if only you could talk to yourself in the past, if only you have stopped for a second and gave that situation a better look... You felt so dumb now...

Well when he asked you to go to that place at night you... Just went, because you trusted him with your life by now. You knew somewhere deep in your heart that you shouldn't... Not just him but anyone... But it was a need, you were alone for a long time and then you found him... And then he started acting that way with you... He caught you out of guard...

It was silent, you didnt understand why you should be there, but the fact is that you were so afraid. Chishiya only said to be there and walk... It wasnt that much, but just as fast as you got there, you felt something on your back and then everything was dark.

When you woke up, you were in a room and Niragi, just with a couple of other important people -you just knew they were important because they were with the Hatter, the only one you could recognize besides Niragi because of the colors of his clothes.- You barely could see, actually, your eyes were still dealing with the lights.

- So that's the little bitch, huh? - You could listen to Hatter's voice. He came near of you and showed you a couple of cards. - Trying to steal from me ? You bastard really thought you could steal from me and just run away ?

You just didnt understand, you didnt had any card with you. You knew what happened to traitors and you always gave your cards to the beach just as you was told.

-B-But... I give my cards to you, I know I do. I'm not dumb

- Oh honey, dont play the stupid card. We found the cards with you, you were running away... You have many here... You haven't been to all this games lately, have you ? Have you been stealing from someone else, darling? - Hatter seemed to be genuinely angry and you were so afraid to say anything.

-I...

- Yes... - And you heard that familiar voice... That was Chishiya but you were hoping he would only come to help you... - My cards have been disappearing as I told you. I connected that it happened after every game I played with her after we became close... That's when I came to talk to you... - That was so much information you couldn't even handle. Chishiya betrayed you, lied about you and used you as his little toy just so he could... Distract people while he was doing whatever he was really planning and wasn't telling you... It was so clear... Oh God you felt so dumb and now it was like all your fights for being alive in that place had no value at all... Because you let yourself get caught by that stupid feeling...

Chishiya looked at you with the same cold eyes as always, no guilt... You wasn't expecting any, not after that.

- Well.. Death for the traitors, that's what you've been told - Hatter was just ready to give the orders to Niragi and you didnt really think you deserved to die by the hands of such a disgusting person

At that point you could only cry cause you knew it wasn't worth it to try arguing... Chishiya was too damn smart and there would be no evidence of mistakes if you knew him...

- She was stealing from me, right ? So I think I have the right to end this with my own hands? - Everyone got so surprised because Chishiya wasnt exactly the kind of guy who got involved with the dirty part of the job.

- Are you sure about this ? - Hatter never really doubted about Chishiya because he knew how much about himself he didnt show people... So Yes, killing someone because of a couple of cards didn't surprise him at all, maybe because he would do the same. - Whatever... Just be done with it by the morning... And dont even think about playing any kind of game Chishiya... You could be the next one.

Chishiya wasnt even listening. Niragi seemed literally so frustrated but, at some point, all people left.

Chishiya caught the gun that was above the table and came near you. You were crying silently but so hard... - What do you want? You wanna torture me now? Seeing me playing the stupid in love all this time wasnt enough for you? You want to literally kill me? How did you do that? - You were screaming, at that point you didnt care if someone would hear.

- You don't understand, right? - And then he showed a couple of cards, this time, one of each... Oh god... He literally used you to get Hatters's cards. - I'm sorry you made the wrong choices... But I needed to to this... I want to get out of here just as much as you...  About the plan... You know I have access to the cards after the games... It's not that hard to steal the repeated ones, they don't pay that much attention on them... And also, just after I did it, I came to talk to Hatter about my card disappearing so the he wouldn't miss anything... It wasnt that har actually, it was just a distraction... But you know so much about me and my plans so I couldn't let you alone with Niragi or any of those people cause they're so dumb they might believe you and that's would be a problem for me... So

- You bastard, What do you think you are? God? You think you can just come and sacrifice people? - You wanted to beat him so hard it almost gave you the strength to break that stupid string around you. He just smiled that way you used to love but now make you nauseous.

- If I were god... I wouldn't allow people as easy to manipulate as you to live with the others, darling... Dont blame me for trusting the person everyone told you that shouldn't be trusted... Now... Let's get this done. - He pointed the gun at your forehead and you screamed as you closed your eyes.

- Please... Please Chishiya. I didnt mean anything for you at all?

- There's no meaning when there's no feeling, y/n... You're not in high school, you're playing for your life, and so am I... And you lost. I'm so sorry for you. - For the first time he seemed to be nervous but you couldn't see much anyway... He pulled the trigger... And then it was over.

[bleufrost]

Frozen Embers || Chapter One

Loki x reader

Series Preview/General Story Guide

Warnings: a swear or two maybe? Nothing extreme quite yet (: 

Series summary: Growing up under the guidance of S.H.I.E.L.D, you were trained from the moment you could walk to be a good agent. You were everything you needed to be, but the emotions and empathy that ran through your blood tainted all of your hard work. One day, you are given the chance to prove yourself by being assigned to the cell of Loki, the god of mischief. Quickly, icy walls begin to melt as you both realize that your time together is bringing forth a mix of flame and frost that can only end in chaos. 

Original request by: @procrastinatinglikeabitch

Masterlist 

A/N: ahh this is my first ever series! i read it over like thirty times but im sure theres still mistakes lol. I really hope you guys like it though!! feedback of any kind is always suuuper appreciated and although I cant always respond to comments on this side blog, please know that they make my entire day <3 love yall !

You had felt from the beginning that this was a terrible idea. Fury had called you into his office that morning, his normal dead serious look upon his face. You were used to it, but for whatever reason today it set you on edge. He had briefed you on your mission, it wasn’t the first little assignment he had given you but this one had left an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Not much did that, but what he had asked of you very seriously went against everything you believed in. Fury told you that you were to get as close to Loki, the god of mischief, as possible. Not only were you to gain his trust, but you were to also completely shatter that trust by informing S.H.I.E.L.D of everything he told you. 

Loki was a threat, they said. He was dangerous, they said. Yet, you still couldn't stop the growing fear and suspicion that you were doing the wrong thing from settling within your stomach.

Regardless of how you felt emotionally, it was still your mission and you were expected to complete it. As an agent, there was no room for sentimental matters to intermingle with work, and you often forgot that. You didn’t want to be stuck with inside jobs for the rest of your life though, so you made the decision long ago that what Fury said you would do. At the end of the day, you knew and trusted him far more than this god who had tried to overtake the world, not to mention had also stolen the free will of your friend and mentor, Clint. He had caused irreversible damage to the lives of countless innocent people so you knew you had to put your morals aside for a second considering he had done so for a while; he may not deserve to be used, but neither did your friends. With that in mind, you made your way over to the holding cell.

***************

Sliding your key card into the heavy metal opening was something you had never done before. In the grand scheme of things, you were still a fairly new agent and so the opportunity to come down to specialized cells was not one that you had been offered; until now. Your heart was beating loudly in your chest and you tried hopelessly to calm it. Whether or not Loki could hear the nervous thumping or not didn’t matter; you had a feeling that he could sense it.

Quickly brushing the invisible lint off your clothing and straightening up the black top and jeans you wore as your uniform, you took one last calming breath before stepping inside. The cool metal offered no sense of warmth or comfort as your heels clicked against the floor. Sound echoed for what appeared to be miles in here, and you swallowed thickly as you realized that you were trying to be quiet; you were trying to hide from the person that you needed to be seen by and that had to stop. 

The next step came far more confidently, and you lifted your head a bit higher and stood a bit straighter. He would be within a specially engineered cell designed specifically to keep him inside. He more than likely had not been offered conversation since he was thrown in here. He was alone, and a god with his need to be praised would not do well when met with complete silence at every turn and passing moment. You had the upper hand here, so you had to use it. 

************

Loki sat with his back against the soft pillowed sofa he had conjured up within the cell. He tossed a little statue up and down as he contemplated for the hundredth time that day what he would do when he inevitably escaped this prison. It was stupid of these midgardians to think that they could hold him for long; an ignorance they would soon come to regret. As it stands though, he remained here nearly going mad with boredom. He would never admit it, but the lack of company was beginning to weigh on him in a manner that was testing his sanity. 

That’s when he heard it. Soft footsteps that turned a bit louder after a moment or so. The sound bounced off the walls and met his ears in a way that sparked his curiosity immediately, and Loki couldn’t help but wonder if those steps would lead the person right to his cell. As they drew nearer, his excitement grew. He wanted to get up and see for himself who or what was walking through these typically barren halls, but if they were to come to him he would not want to grant them the satisfaction of seeing him eager or even so much as intrigued by their presence. He remained there with his back against the sofa and resumed his mindless tossing of the small figurine. 

*************

Stopping in front of the glowing cell was nerve wracking, but seeing the god for the first time in person was absolutely terrifying. Loki was laying upon an ornate bed-like couch, surrounded by beautiful furniture and books that had surely not been gifted to him by S.H.I.E.L.D. He had something in his hands, and your eyes watched a moment as the object was flipped up into the air before settling back down into the skin of his palm. It was oddly mesmerizing.

You couldn’t have been staring for more than a few seconds, but that was long enough to annoy him. The statue was thrown up into the air, and on its way down it made a sharp turn and came smashing into the glass at exact level with your eyes. You let out a small yelp, and finally his eyes slid over to meet you as he chuckled lowly.

“Well aren’t you a jumpy little pet.” Loki sat up slowly, turning to face you with no real hurry or actual interest apparent in his movement. He was dressed beautifully in different shades of black, grey, and a gorgeous green. Even though he had been trapped in here for weeks now, his hair was still combed perfectly and his eyes held a certain glint to them that made you question whether solitary confinement had been affecting him at all; surely it had to be, right?

Clearing your throat, you step forward slightly to hopefully show him you aren’t afraid of him or his abilities; even though that may not be the whole truth. “My name is Agent (y/l/n). I’m here to talk to you.” You look to him expectantly and it takes him a moment to react. He seems confused for only a split second before he scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Well, if that’s all it appears you’ve already done it. You can leave now.” Loki makes a move to lie back down before you speak up.

“Wait! I mean I actually want to have a conversation with you. You know, get to know you.” There was no keeping the nervous look off of your face as you spoke. It wasn't a lie, you really did want to get to know the god and understand why he did the things he did. No one hurts people like that without reason; without having been hurt themselves. 

Slowly, he turns back to you. His face is unreadable as he walks over to stand in front of you and stares deep into your eyes from behind the glass. The urge to break eye contact with Loki is intense, but you know that giving in is exactly what he wants you to do. He’s trying to figure out if you’re worthy of his time and you need to prove that you are. After a lifetime of feeling him stare into the darkest crevices of your soul, he speaks.

“Why?” You don’t hesitate for even a fraction of a second before responding. “I want to understand. You did things that I could never have even imagined doing, and I think it’s important to know why.” 

His jaw became tense, features tightening as his eyebrows pulled together. “You, my pet, must have a very WEAK imagination.” His voice was harsh as he spit the words out at you. Turning away to pace, he once again shook his head while letting a low and humorless chuckle escape his lips. “No, you could never understand. How could a god ever even begin to explain the complexities of their actions to the measly mind of a midgardian child?” 

The comment bothered you only slightly, but you knew that you were losing him quickly. Loki apparently didn’t trust kindness; you suppose that’s something you both kind of have in common. You were basically raised by Fury and Clint, and although you had kept up a sense of outward positivity, there was a deep underlying feeling that you really could not trust anyone but those two men. Kindness always came at a cost and you knew that you wouldn’t trust yourself either if you were in Loki’s position, so you decide to take another approach. 

“Look, they never let me out of this tower either so I’m just as bored, if not more so, than you are. The way I see it, you can honor me with your company every once in a while and keep a child entertained, or you can tell me to leave again. I’d hate to be a bother, so if it’s that draining on you I will gladly find someone else to talk to. You were my first choice, not my last resort.” Letting out a little breath, you wait for his response eagerly. It took a few minutes and you were nearly ready to leave, but Loki finally spoke up.

“Are you doing this for them?” The fact that he refused to look at you while speaking did not go unnoticed by you. “S.H.I.E.L.D would never trust me to do something like that. Like I said, they don’t even trust me enough to let me go out into the field.” It wasn’t a lie in entirety. The agency found you to be too sympathetic for field missions and refused to test your loyalty to orders. Fury was the one who trusted you and, seeing as he himself wasn’t S.H.I.E.L.D, you were telling the truth. 

Loki put his hand up to his face, giving a pondering look through his gesture. Suddenly he turned to look at you with a dazzling smile gracing his features. You saw something shimmering in his eyes, but you couldn’t quite tell whether it was friendly or not. “It seems pet, that we have something very interesting in common then.” The look he gave you set you on edge, yet you wouldn’t dare look away in fear that it would disappear. He scared you, but you never felt a desire stronger than the one you currently felt to be afraid. 

“It seems we do.” The small lift at the corner of your lips was instinctual. You didn’t even notice that you were doing it, but Loki most certainly did. Making his way back to stand before you, his eyes meet your form and take you in for the first time. Loki was a fair amount taller than you, so you found yourself looking up to meet his gaze as his own skims over you from head to toe. The height difference was something that he would surely be taking advantage of to make you feel even more like the child he thought you to be. 

“Pray tell pet, what is your name?” He finished looking you over and now received your stare fervently. He enjoyed being looked at; he found thrill in being a spectacle and you could feel it. If he wanted to be seen, you would make damn sure that you saw him. 

“My name is (y/n). And, for the record, I’m far from being a child.” His smile grew even wider at that, and his hand came up to gently run his fingers down the glass that separates you. For some reason, you almost felt as though you wished it weren’t there. 

“I can guarantee that no matter how old you may be (y/n), it pales in comparison to the length of the lives I have lived. You couldn’t fathom the things I have seen, and most certainly not the things I have done ” The words were almost solemn, in a way perhaps reflective. There was no way for you to even begin to comprehend the existence he had experienced firsthand, but your fascination and hunger to try burned through your body like the flames of a wildfire. He drew you in like a moth to candlelight, and you let him. “Tell me about them.”

Your comm went off at that moment, Fury’s voice filling the empty halls with a loud crackling. “Agent (y/l/n), I need you on the training deck right fucking now.” The loud noise startled you out of the trance like state you had been in, and you fumble around to quickly answer. “Be right there, sir.” As you let go of the button that allowed Fury to hear your voice, you look back to Loki. He was already laying back on his bed, lazily flipping through a book as though you were not even there. You hadn’t even seen him move. Unsure of whether or not to he wished to speak any further for now, you nod your head slowly and look away. “I’ll be back tomorrow, if you’d like.”

Just as at the start of your conversation, he did not respond immediately. You were cursing Fury in your head for breaking the connection you felt you had been growing with the god, but just as you began to leave he called after you.

“I would yearn for nothing more, pet.”

__________________

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i hope thats everyone, but if i missed you please let me know! Im still new to this and constantly make mistakes lol

(message me to be added to my tom list!)

A/N: Requests are still being filled by the way! I’ll also try to get one-shot stories out in between these chapters, so stay tuned for that (: Let me know what yall thought of this, and have a wonderful day/night/evening <3

[definenormalifyoucan]

Where We Started

It's been a while huh? I have no idea where this came from but I actually really love it. There's slight angst. Mutual pining. Very light language. This. Is. Not. Edited. Heavily. I apologize.

Pairing: Logicality/background prinxiety

Word count: 3128

Lets begin, shall we?

It started with a smile. Or maybe it was the way his eyes lit up when he talked on about constellations and planets. Maybe it was all the times he unexpectedly made clever puns.

Patton was always a sucker for puns and pretty eyes.

Without warning, with every fiber of his being, Patton fell. He remembers when he first realized. Logan had been reading in the common room in the mind palace, eyes dancing across the page while he gently held the book. It was on astronomy....or was it just Alice in Wonderland? Patton didn't remember.

What he did remember was walking into the room with a tray of cookies and just freezing. Logan was no different, but Patton had come to the realization in that moment that he wanted nothing more than to be in Logans arms. To hear his heart beat under his ear, feel the rise and fall of his chest. Patton blushed madly at his sudden realization and inadvertently stumbled over his own feet when he turned to escape the confrontation he knew would come if Logan saw his thoughts on his face. He fell into the doorjam with an oof, air escaping his lungs in a rush while he struggled to not drop any of the cookies.

Out of the corner of his eye, Patton had seen Logans head snap up. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern and he had opened his mouth, presumably to ask if Patton was alright. But he had already fled up the stairs with the cookies in hand and ready to die from either embarrassment or his suddenly weak legs.

Presently, Patton was laying like a starfish on Virgil's bed while the anxious side was thrown over his middle and scrolling aimlessly on his phone. They were both quiet for about an hour, the only sounds their breaths and the tapping noises coming from Virgils phone. Patton didn't know if he was grateful for it or wanted it to end.

It had been half a year since the emotional side had come to that fateful conclusion and he'd done....absolutely nothing about it. Besides making a complete fool of himself whenever he was near Lo. Patton groaned, nearly smacking his metaphorical son upside the head in attempts to clutch at his own hair. He was driving himself crazy, being at the core of Thomas's feelings meant he had more than enough for himself as well. Currently with the feeling of wanting being the most popular.

With a sigh, Virgil put his phone on the bedside table and sat up. With a knowing and pointed look he said "Pat, man, just tell him. You're going crazy thinking about all possibilities, leave the fantasies and theatrics to Ro."

He wasn't exactly wrong. Patton had had many a thought about what it'd be like to just....be with Logan. He dreamed up different scenarios, half the time just staring off into space daydreaming about made up dates and conversations with the logical side. He did feel a bit like Roman at this point, but to be fair the romantic side was obviously pining after the ever oblivious Virgil.

Knowing full well his face looked like a strawberry, Patton slid his hands from his head to rub at his cheeks before pulling himself to sit against the headboard. In this position, Patton and Virgils legs crossed. He focused on them while he collected his racing thoughts.

"Kiddo, I know I'm suppose to be the emotionally wise one between us sides, but it's easier helping someone else with their feelings. Ya know?" He closed his eyes, willing himself not to cry. "I love Lo, Virge. I love him. He's brilliant, and kind, awkwardly adorable. He's not the emotionless robot he says, but me? Im too emotional. He couldn't love me." Openeing his shining eyes, he turns them to Virgil. "I don't want him to pull away. What we have now....it's enough, even if I'm not." He looked away, tears tracking down his red face.

Virgil hated seeing Patton this upset. Instantly he was upset. He was pissed at Logan for making Pat even think he wasn't enough. At this moment, he mostly hated how oblivious Patton could be. With an annoyed growl Virgil pulled his legs out from Pat, careful not to hurt him.

As soon as his feet hit the floor, he started pacing and wound his arms behind his back. Ignoring the hurt look on Patton's face Virgil said, "Patton I'm telling you this because I love you and I hate seeing you cry--"

"You hate crying in general," Patton cut in with a pathetic sounding hiccup.

"Not the point. My point is this: you are an oblivious, lovable, goofball. Logan follows you around the kitchen like a fu--"

"Ahem"

"Freaking puppy. He gives you goo goo eyes when he thinks no ones looking. He's basically a statue when you smile at him. Or talk to him." He stopped pacing and faced the constantly red Pat. His eyes were wide and filled with disbelief at his words. "I'm pretty sure the feelings are mutual, Pat," Vigil deadpanned.

Patton was silent for a long moment. It was a hard idea to wrap his head around, but once he had he could feel a smile creep onto his face and couldn't help the hopeful joy that filled him. He lauched himself at his dark, strange son and started squealing. His giggles remained as Virgil peeled him off. They started planning how Patton was going to confess and he couldn't have felt more excited.

Little did the dynamic duo know, Logan had heard all of Patton's speech. He wasn't eavesdropping, per se. Virgil's door had been ajar slightly and he had happened passed it. Multiple times. Only after seeing Patton trudge gloomily in did he feel the need to wander back and forth between the kitchen and his room for this or that.

After hearing how Patton felt, hearing him sniffle and hiccup, he felt wretched. How could he have made the charming and cheerful side feel so low? He didn't deserve to have Patton's love.

Patton loved him.

This was also a concept he could not wrap his head around. After hearing how Patton felt he wasn't enough, preposterous, Logan set out to make things right. Even if it means I'll make a complete fool out of myself by doing so, he thought as he marched his way to his room.

Once there he paced for a long time, trying to figure out how he could make this right. Obviously he couldn't just tell Patton how he felt, he deserved more than a stuttered quick confession. Logan wouldn't doubt it if Patton rejected him on the spot after he made him feel as if he wasn't already more than enough.

With a frustrated sigh Logan threw himself into a chair. After carefully placing his glasses on his desk he held his head in his hands. Come on Logic, he thought bitterly, you're suppose to be smarter than this. What does someone like Patton even see in me?

Pattons description of him came tumbling around his head: Brilliant. Kind. Adorable.

At this moment he didn't feel like any of these things. He felt broken, slow, and horrid. Patton was such a precious and beautiful soul, more so than the others. Granted they all looked slightly similar as embodiments of Thomas's personality. They all had slight differences here in the mind palace, and Patton was the best of them.

Logan's mind took him back several months prior to this shocking revelation. He was reading Alice In Wonderland on the couch in the common room, the scent of cookies hung high in the air as Patton had just gotten them out of the oven to cool.

Logan had struggled to keep his eyes on his book while Patton twirled about the kitchen during his cookie making process. However afterwards, he could feel the heavy weight of eyes on him and could see the look of shock on Patton's face as he stood at the entrance of the room.

This was where Logan's downfall started, by simply one glance at Patton. Even without looking straight towards him, Logan was struck by how utterly beautiful he was.

Of course then Logan was doubting whether or not he had accidentally stated his thoughts aloud because Patton suddenly flushed and rammed straight into the doorframe. Logan opened his mouth to apologize for scaring Patton. To his astonishment he didn't even have time for that before Patton had launched himself, stumbling, up the stairs.

Because of this Logan was sure Patton hated the mere thought of Logan's affectionate emotions. But with what has recently come to light, he could not believe his luck. And yet....

With a sigh he dropped his hands to his sides and leaned back until his head rested on the backing of the chair. He could still smell the scent of the cookies from that day, still see how soft Patton had looked holding the tray of.....

Thats it, Logan thought. He leapt up and strided his way towards his door. He started once he realized the halls were dim. He didn't realize how long he had been preoccupied in his thoughts, but he didn't let the lateness deter him from his goal.

Quietly, he made his way down the stairs and towards the kitchen for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He slowed as he got nearer and heard music playing softly. Peaking in he suppressed a startled laugh at the sight before him.

Quickly pulling out his phone he recorded Roman doing what appeared to be a mating dance towards Virgil, only stopping out of courtesy once the started to kiss. He waited for them to be done just outside the kitchen. He wasn't really hiding, not really, but he was leaning against the wall just outside the light spilling from the doorway. At least he'd come out of this with either decent blackmail thanks to Roman's ridiculous dancing or something endearing to give them later down the line.

Once they vacated the kitchen, Logan pushed off the wall and set to work. He wasn't too gifted in the art of baking, but he could at least make a simple sugar cookie recipe with the help of google. At least he thought he could. But after four failed attempts at a recipe with the shortest ingredients list known to man, he was begging to lose hope.

He stood staring at the mess, fatigue setting in his eyes and doubt creeping up his spine. Then he remembered Patton's laugh, the way his smile seemed to brighten when Logan walked in the room, his relentless kindness towards everyone while expecting nothing in return. He deserved better and damn it Logan wanted to give him the world. Starting with these god damn cookies.

Finally, on attempt number six and as sunlight was filtering brightly through the window, Logan finally had a batch he was proud of. He materialized a clear bag with a light blue ribbon drawstring and carefully placed the cookies inside.

Logan cleaned up his mess in record time. Seeing as how Roman and Virgil had gone to bed so late, Logan doubted they'd be up for some time yet. Just the thought that he and Patton would be the only ones awake made him jittery and nervous. Instead of letting his thoughts take hold and race like he normally would, he settled for setting the cookies on the kitchen island and started a pot of coffee.

"Lo? Why are you--"

Logan had barely managed a sip from his mug before he heard Patton. Nearly spitting his coffee out, he whipped his head to the side to see Patton staring at the bag of cookies with curiosity. Logan knew this was going to be his only perfect opportunity. With determination he set his coffee mug down and turned fully towards Patton's stunned form.

Virgil had come up with the perfect plan to get Logan and Patton alone. He'd burst in to wherever Logan was and tell him that Patton had gotten hurt when he'd been with Roman on an "adventure". He'd lead him to Patton's room where Patton would be waiting with a jar of crofters and a powerpoint with all the reasons why he loved Logan. At the time, Patton had love the idea and finished the slides with ease.

But now he guessed it was all for nothing as he saw Logan looking far more attractive than anyone had the right to at eight o'clock in the morning. Logan had a look of determination that wasn't hindered by the blush working its way up his neck, and in turn Patton could feel his own face flushing.

Without realizing it, Patton had moved closer to Logan as if being drawn by a magnet. Only when he had to crane his head back a bit did he notice he had moved at all. Patton felt butterflies attack his stomach as he stared up at Logan, who was looking at him like he was the best thing ever.

Logan wanted nothing more than to pull Patton closer, but he needed to explain himself to him before he got that luxury. Grabbing the cookies without taking his eyes off Patton's and clearing his throat, he began try and explain the phenomena that was currently taking place in his heart courtesy of Patton.

"For months now, Patton, I've felt....so much. So much I'm not used to feeling. What I can only describe as adoration and happiness and longing fills every fiber of my being when I'm near you. When you smile, my heart flutters. When you laugh I want nothing more than to be the cause for it."

He paused to give Patton time to absorb the words. After a few long moments Patton opened his mouth as if to speak but closed it just as fast. This made Logan nervous, made him think he had imagined everything Patton had said in the first place. He pushed on nonetheless.

"Pat, I..." he took a deep breath. "You're amazing, and beautiful, and funny, and witty, smart, talented. You are everything good in the world and...I love you, Patton."

Logan didn't know how it happened, but suddenly he had his arms filled by Patton. Arms were wrapping around his neck tightly and a face was burrowing on his chest. Logan shuddered out a breath before clutching at Patton just as tightly around his middle.

"Lo, you're so sweet," Patton whispered. The words had gotten muffled by the fabric of his shirt and he had to strain his ears to hear him, but they warmed him regardless.

Patton looked up at Logan suddenly. "I love you, too, Logan," Pat said with tears going down his face and a wide smile.

Logan couldn't help it, he brought his hands up to gently cup Patton's face. Resting his forehead on the shorter side and feeling his breath come in short pants matching his own Logan asked in a breathy whisper, "...Can I kiss you?"

Patton stopped breathing for a moment before closing his and nodding. It came as a small thrill to feel Logan's mouth press gently on his. The kiss to Patton felt both too long and too short. It was sweet and slow and Patton could only curl his hands in Logans hair, desperately clinging to him while they kissed so sweetly.

Feeling a content sigh fall against his mouth made Logan's nerves fall away. He was kissing Patton. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he'd have the privilege to hold Patton, to kiss him, to have his feeling reciprocated. Logan could feel every inch of himself on fire where he and Patton touched and he never thought he'd be so happy to burn.

Logan pulled his mouth away first, though god knew he wanted to keep kissing his Patton. He stared in awe at Patton's still-parted and slightly puffy lips. Logan had done that. He was still staring and already he was greedy for this sight again, thats how he knew Patton was going to kill him. What a way to go, Logan thought as he saw Patton open his eyes and grin wide.

Returning the smile, Logan cast his gaze downwards and spotted the bag of cookies still clutched in his hand. Clearing his throat and praying the cookies didnt get crushed during thr kiss, he presented them to Patton. "I, uh, ma-- ahem-- made these for you since I know how much you love to bake them for everyone else. I figured you deserved to have some made for you."

Patton was speechless. He was so touched as he grabbed the pretty bag filled with a dozen or so sugar cookies in symmetrical looking hearts. Opening the bag carefully and selecting a cookie even more carfully, Patton took a bite. The cookie itself was much like Logan himself, sweet and melted when it came in contact with his mouth. There was no real way Patton could describe how happy he was and how good the cookies were.

Tears in his eyes Patton said, "They're amazing, thank you so much Lo."

Logan, gaze soft and voice softer, suggested they have the day off to laze about and watch any movie Patton wanted. Patton agreed happily and waited on the couch eating his cookies while Logan finally changed into pajamas. To Logan's surprise, Patton chose Dr. Strange for them to start with. Little did he know Patton only chose it because he knew how much the logical side loved how they reasoned the seemingly impossible magic with science and made it seem so real.

They stayed there, a tangled heap of limbs and quick kisses, for several hours. Not even sparing a glance as Roman and Virgil came down the stairs holding hands since Logan accidentally showed Pat the video he took the night before, much to the other couples embarrassment. All was forgiven, however, once Ro and Virge saw how comfortable and happy Patton and Logan finally were. It helps Patton gave them each a cookie from delicious batch Logan had made.

Patton cuddled Logan as soon as the other pair retreated back up the stairs and soon fell alseep. Logan thought about where they started, how they fell in love at the same moment and realized how ridiculous they both were. Had they merely communicated how they felt they could have been doing this much sooner. Still, he wouldn't trade this moment for anything.

With a sleepy and content sigh Logan followed Patton to sleep with Ma Belle Evangeline from Princess And The Frog quiet coming from the television.

Taglist: @whatwashernameagain @lrnightingale @wujustyle412 @sassy-in-glasses @author-trash @patton-loves-coloring

Edit: The part where Logan catches Roman and Virgil in the kitchen refers to my other fic Sleepless Confessions (a prinxiety oneshot) and I'd like to give a thank you to @darude-sanderstorm for bestowing Roman's shuffle a "mating dance"

[danfanciesphil]

I'm so excited you're doing prompts!! Okay, here's one: could you write some fluffy morning just waking up thing?

one fluffy morning just waking up drabble coming your way beautiful

ps it’s 00:39am and i’ve had multiple glasses of wine so im sorry if this is strange xoxo

The first night had been the hardest, in his dorm room. 

Dan had thought he could handle a lot. He’s young, he doesn’t come from a particularly wealthy background, and he isn’t used to luxury. His room at the Manchester University halls lacked a certain appeal when he first saw it, but it was fine, he’d thought. The stark, pale brick of the walls could be covered with posters and artwork. The hard, unforgiving mattress could be quilted and softened with layers of blankets and pillows. 

It would be fine.

But building a home in a new place takes time, Dan has come to realise. When one moves into a new place, they don’t necessarily have everything they need to make it theirs. They wish they had a particular knick knack, a certain accessory, a specific chair from their old room, or a new lamp with a soft, yellow bulb to illuminate the dull, dark atmosphere. 

An exhausting day of meeting his neighbours, of trekking around campus, of plastering on a cheery smile passes. Dan collapses into his bed, the new bedding that he’s bought for himself seeming starchy and unyielding against the soft curves of his body. 

Despite his brain telling him not to, all his body yearns for is his tiny, unappealing yet familiar bedroom back in Wokingham. His brother is sleeping in it now, Dan thinks uncomfortably, his cheek scratching against the stiff, cold pillowcase. 

He texts Phil every night for a week. He begs to come over, to visit Phil at his new flat, over on the other side of Manchester. He’s so close, and so far. He’s a hundred miles nearer than he used to be. He’s in the same city, yet he’s too far to walk to, not that Dan knows where to go. The thought alone is enough to drive him mad. 

Phil is adamant, though. 

He insists that Dan have a week alone. He won’t give out his address, no matter how much Dan begs him. Dan finds him capricious, cruel, sadistic for this. Phil says it’s for his own good, and that Dan will hate him even more if Phil steals that first precious week of university from him. 

Dan doesn’t care. He hates Phil anyway. All he wants is to see him. He doesn’t care about anyone else. 

A week seems to take eons. It seems to drag, like a dying star, fading slowly as Dan weakens in his resolve. He thinks of jumping into taxis and scouring the streets of Manchester, shouting Phil’s name. He thinks of feigning grave illness, or some drastic emergency, knowing Phil will come running. 

He goes out in the evenings. He attends Freshers week events with his flatmates and makes some sort-of friends. He enrols properly, handing over his passport to a bored looking PHD student, and is given a library card. None of it matters at all. None of it is the slightest bit important. 

Finally, finally, Friday becomes Saturday. Dan doesn’t sleep until Sunday, staying out all of Saturday night at a party of some kind. He smokes three cigarettes, and he almost kisses a girl. He can’t do it though, even if he is pissed off. 

He throws some clothes into a bag the minute he returns home, at six in the morning on Sunday. He phones Phil, shoving his charger into his pocket. Phil answers, but he sounds bleary, confused. 

“Dan?” 

“I’m coming over.” 

“What?” 

“Tell me your address.” 

“Dan, it’s...” There’s a pause. “It’s half six in the morning.” 

“So I’ll be there at seven.” 

Dan waits, practically shaking as he hovers beside his bed, ready to leave the second Phil tells him it’s okay. He can’t stand this room a second longer, suddenly. It’s prison-esque, with it’s grey, brick walls, and its single, smeared window. 

“74, Simmons Street.” 

Dan wants to weep, suddenly. He feels tears scalding his eyes, and he brings a fist up to scrub them away. He could fall to his knees with relief, but he forces himself to remain standing. 

“Okay.” Dan tells him, his voice only half audible. “See you soon.”

“See you.” 

The whole ride over, Dan is terrified. He chews every nail off every finger, ripping some so harshly with his teeth that they smart and bleed. What if Phil doesn’t want him to come? What if that’s the real reason he hadn’t let on where he lived before now? 

It doesn’t take long, though. Dan is shocked, really, at how little time it takes to cross the city. It seems like a moment passes, and then he’s outside Phil’s building, the taxi driver idling impatiently, waiting for him to leave. 

“Thanks.” Dan says, shoving a twenty pound note at the driver. 

He gets out before he can accept any change. He’s almost definitely overpaid, but he doesn’t care. This is worth every penny. 

He has to press a buzzer for Phil’s flat. There’s a small camera, so Phil must know it’s him when he presses to let Dan inside. 

Dan takes the elevator. It’s early, and he has a bag. He doesn’t feel he could face the stairs. 

Phil is flat 42A. Dan finds it without issue. 

He knocks on the outside, wary of the neighbouring flats at this early hour, and waits, clutching his backpack to his chest, heart hammering against his ribs. He doesn’t know what he’ll say, when Phil opens the door. 

It turns out, he doesn’t need to say anything at all. 

Phil drags him inside without a word, and all of a sudden the world is gone from sight. Phil’s arms encircle Dan’s body, cradling him in their protective embrace, shielding him from the air itself. 

The door slams shut behind them, but Phil doesn’t seem to care. He pushes his lips to the top of Dan’s head, mumbling things into his scalp, words that Dan can’t decipher. 

It sounds a lot like ‘you’re here, you’re here, you’re here’. 

Phil walks him through a maze of rooms that Dan can’t take in. His eyes are trained on Phil’s face, which is just, exactly, how he remembers it. It’s pale and serene, framed with black hair and black lashes, hiding the deepest blue eyes Dan can remember seeing in all his life. 

They’re in a smaller room now, a darker room. It’s warm here, lit by a single lamp. Phil pulls Dan onto something soft and pliant, a bed with a quilt of blue and green, familiar and comforting. Dan crawls beneath it at once, bringing the covers to his chin. 

Phil’s arms wrap around him, holding tightly, pulling him in to a lean, warm chest. This feels nothing like the adrift, isolated island of Dan’s bed in the dorm. In fact, it is worrying, how he feels so completely at home. 

“Can you sleep?” Phil asks, his voice so soft it might be a whisper. 

Dan nods, tucking his nose beneath Phil’s chin. 

He feels the gentle rumble of Phil’s throaty chuckle, and breathes in, contented. 

“Night, bear.”

*

Dan wakes up to a view obscured by black fronds. Phil’s hair seems to be everywhere - tickling his nose, poking into his eyes, fanning over his cheeks. 

Dan breathes in, drawing the scent of him as deeply as possible. It feels like it’s been forever since he last smelled it. Sharp, sweet notes. Like chilli infused hot chocolate, or a glacé cherry encased in dark cocoa. 

“Phil?” Dan whispers, not really wanting to wake him. 

“Mm?”

Dan smiles, the fondness tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Can we have pancakes?”

It takes a while, but apparently the mention of Phil’s second favourite breakfast food is enough to stir him into wakefulness. He blinks his eyes open slowly, registering the sight of Dan with mild confusion, probably not helped by his lack of contact lenses or glasses. 

“Pancakes?”

Dan nods. “I’ll make them if you like. But... you might have to tell me where everything is in your kitchen.”

Phil’s eyebrows knit together, and he leans away, frowning. “You’re in my bed.” 

Stomach churning with nerves, Dan decides to attempt a diversion tactic. He lifts one eyebrow, smirking. “Right where I belong.” 

“You should be in your dorm.” Phil chastises, sighing heavily; Dan’s heart sinks. 

“I tried it, Phil. I did it for a whole week, like you said.” Dan tells him honestly, hoping desperately that he won’t sound too pathetic to Phil’s ears. Maybe Phil will take pity on him for being so weak. “I missed you too much.” 

Phil leans closer, eyes roving over Dan’s face. “I missed you too.”

“You did?”

Phil nods, seeming displeased at the admittance. “I tried not to. I tried to tell myself to leave you alone. To let you have your fun. But I missed you.” Phil leans in close, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of Dan’s nose. “Lots.”

Dan tries and fails to hide his answering blush. He wishes he could feel guilt, like Phil seems to, but he’s too happy. He’s elated, just by being here, beside the one person he loves most of all, after what seems like years. 

“You live so close now,” Dan tells him, marvelling at this prospect, still. “I just got in a car and came here. It took fifteen minutes, tops.”

Phil’s eyes widen, clearly astounded as well. “Fifteen?”

“It used to take...” 

“Hours.” Phil finishes. “Days.”

“We don’t need to miss each other anymore.” Dan says cautiously, heart thumping irregularly, trying to predict what Phil will say. If he objects, Dan worries that the thumping might cut out completely. “I can be with you whenever you want.” 

Dan surveys him in the face of this final comment, trying to suss out his reaction, to deem if he’ll find this too much. 

He and Phil have said a lot to one another, over the months they’ve known each other in person. They’ve exchanged confessions of love, they’ve discussed plans for the future, for holidays and forever homes and marriage. But to discuss something in theory is very different to putting it into practice, Dan knows. 

It’s a very real possibility that Phil might back out, now that this is all snowballing towards a very real future. 

“Always.” Phil says, catching Dan off guard. 

A second passes, and then Phil’s lips crash against his, as sure and definite as waves upon the shore. He kisses so hard that Dan has trouble staying present, tempted to fall into the moment and maybe never be able to crawl out of it. 

Phil leans away again, and he is smiling. His hands are on Dan’s waist, and his eyes are crinkled at each corner. Dan’s heart slows, skipping a beat. 

“Always,” Phil repeats.  

[sunshineonamission-blog]

January 30th Wednesday 1:38AM

So basically Tuesday

Do i even remember this morning

This morning I woke up and I was just so. Tired. So tired. Like hard to move in a literal way. 

It was either this morning or yesterday - I think yesterday but when I went to open my blinds to let the light in it was like blue. Maybe that was Monday. Anyway.

Last night I slept in the dark with the door completely closed and the kitchen light off. I guess there was nothing scary to me about the dark anymore.

This morning I took a painful shower and I got dressed in my lined mom jeans that I’ve been avoiding and my grey turtleneck, and my denim jacket. I knew I’d sweat through the turtleneck. I was in denial. I packed a bag. I made some tea. I put my last lara bar in my pocket. I walked to Ryder. 

Meeting with Jesse at 8:45. Was amazing. 

I blabbed and he actually made sense of it. 

So. Sounds like you like to make shit. 

Yeah. 

If you wanna do the new york thing and pound the pavement for a while you can. If you want to stay in boston... you can. 

“I’m not fuckin corporate Northeastern. I want what’s best for you”

“You have permission to act. To be a theatre artist.”

“I give you permission to not know what you’re doing right now.”

- Summer. Berkshire Theatre Co. or Shakespeare & Co. or work and make money and “make a bunch of shit. get your friends. --> his best man runs Shakes, he used to run Berkshire: “it’s... grueling. if you wanna kinda pay your dues and train...”

- Fall. As many studio classes as possible. Acting 2. 

- Playwriting, Directing, movement at some point, voice& speech, viewpoints

- He said I could get into movement right now. Ugh. Yesterday was the last day to drop a class without “withdrew” on transcript. 

- If I wanna do a BFA program and just grind it out and wear black every day and be in a conservatory setting I can- probably not gonna be this year. That’s okay.

- MFA is an option. Maybe not recommended unless you have a trust fund or a strong desire to teach

- “Your makeup as a human being seems right. To be an actor. You have a seriousness but also a goofiness. You need both.”

“For the sake of your health, just maybe breathe...”

“You have time.”

“I know a lotta actors who direct. My wife does. I know directors who act sometimes.”

It’s weird right. You’re here for theatre and surrounded by like. STEM majors. They’re robots. 

Keep the conversation going when I need to. 

Advice for acting & life: don’t wait for someone to teach you. don’t wait to be instructed. If the opportunity arises to learn and do, do something. 

Kick ass in acting tomorrow. 

“you’re okay. You’re in the right place. in terms of like. mindset”

I was really just beaming walking outta there. I was excited. I changed into the acid wash jeans and too tight flowery converse and acadia sweatshirt and made my way to curry while i scarfed down the lara bar

Had like 15 minutes so I sat and researched summer programs a little. Obviously he said berkshire was grueling sooo that’s where I wanna go.  - must do more research and maybe a second more soul searching and then just start prepping

Okay shop for 4 hours. Climbed scaffolding. Super grateful Julia Chase a normal human being was there.  Mätthew’s nice and it’s fine. I hate Jenny. Jeanie. Whatever her name is. And that other kid whose name I don’t remember but he has an absurdly low voice and a beard and he’s tall and he’s stupid. I apologize for the strong language. Ultimately I don’t hate them I just like can hardly stand being around them because they’re just so cringey and rude and like the combo makes me want to go off. It makes me wanna be like yo. Jennie. I know. And stop holding the screw while you drill. That’s why you keep bleeding. But we got a lot done and especially when it was just me julia and matthew i really did like save the day with my ideas several times. fun! draining though and hadnt eaten in like a while besides the lara bar

Home. Was gonna research summer while eating my ubereats smoothie bowl because Jugos closed at 5 and it was like 3 and i wanted to sit and eat and research. No thank u Bgood u are a heartbreak at the moment. 

Accidentally didnt put in my address for ubereats. What was in there was Park Plaza. Mhm. Ow. I called to fix my mistake but it was already on the way. 3 miles away. via bike. Angry ubereats biker. 

I went to atm at MARINO and got money out, crying, came back, waited. Called mom weeping. He got here. He was biking away. What? I said hey excuse me he said “it dropped. It fuckin dropped. Im sorry okay you wont get charged it dropped.” I made him take $10 and apologized for the mistake and he said he was sorry for freakin out, sorry for making me cry. He made me think of Maddie Dinsmore. SO, MUCH. He said you’re a female I’m sorry I hate making girls cry and I said oh no trust me you didnt. I said the address I sent it to by accident was just a place I was at with my boyfriend like a month ago and we just broke up and I never order ubereats but i was really hungry so it made me cry.

And he said youre obviously hungry and you didnt even get your food and offered to go get me something from nearer by. He said he was moving to california on friday. I gave him the $10 and said no no that’s fine but good luck in California.

 I don’t know why I felt the need to overshare to this stranger. I think it was two things. One was that I saw someone who felt very badly and who’d just biked 3 miles and who wasnt getting paid for it. I am a decent liar sometimes. When it seems like the right thing to do. Or at least I have been. But I’m so fuckin done with that. Not a bone in my body had the capacity in that moment to say oh no it’s not you I totally just bombed a test I literally just didn’t have it in me. But I didn’t want this person to have any guilt or sadness from today. So I just told the truth. Because yeah he was mad and it made me cry but ultimately it wouldn’t have if not for the circumstances. Because the circumstances made me feel stupid and like essentially I started feeling well enough to eat and okay enough not to be scared to eat or to at least be brave enough to leap that hurdle and the universe said fuck you. You should be hurting. And you tried to eat and this is what happens. I don’t believe that to be true. It’s just how it felt in the moment. 

And I’m also just so heartbroken and it couldnt hurt to tell this person that I’ll never see again, who could judge me if he wanted but whose judgment would ultimately have no bearing on my life

Back inside. Back in bed. Talked to mom. 

Made eggs. 

Ew.

Felt super anxious

In bed totally checking daniel’s snap map and thinking he was auditioning. 

I’m so glad he’s auditioning. 

I wonder if he knew that he could’ve auditioned last week. 

I texted him when he was out and asked. He did. I’m glad. 

We talked for a while. I said more than usual. I dont put the screenshots of texts here because we don’t need to torture ourselves. 

I told him I just wanted him to be happy. He asked if id gone to any parties which blew me away because of course not. 

I told him about miss you like hell

I told him about my ubereats experience

I told him I was scared

I asked if it had to be til we were 25 to come back around

I said I wanna take it back

He said he was gonna marry me

He asked if I was okay

He knows.

He told the boys it’s only me he’s dating ever

I miss him like hell

My heart doesnt beat the same without you

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in) 

Ryder. Piano and singing and writing a song. Curry. HW with mia, my creative dna

Library w max ben maddie riana 

ava had stopped at max’s lobby cause she was scared of a sketchy van so when i left i walked with max to ava so that we could walk home together. 

Ava thinks she gets it but she doesn’t. I appreciate it but she doesn’t. 

I’m in bed. This is a no teeth no face wash night but it’s okay because no makeup today 

I’m very tired and it’s 2:16 now and time to go to sleep 

Goodnight

[hyperesthesias]

Loki x Sigyn

Love Never Dies | Part II

Rating: E

Words: 2.915

Summary: Jane’s stay on Asgard is not entirely what she had hoped -- Thor gone, Odin less than welcoming, and a cantankerous Loki as her chaperone. But is there a reason for his more-than-usual grouchiness?

Notes: damn this one’s long. sorrynotsorry. anyway i hope you like it. im really loving writing this one. hopefully more will be revealed in the next chapter. even im excited.

The morning on Asgard was rather different -- Jane awoke not with the ebbing light of daybreak through the balcony doors as she might have if she had been on her own homeworld, but it seemed as though the light were insufferable and inescapable. It swallowed everything around her, dampened only by the briefly open curtains around the bed; she reckoned they were placed out of forethought rather than decoration. It took her many moments of lying on her back with her eyes forcefully closed in an attempt to will herself back to sleep before she realised it was futile, and she might as well have been wide awake. It took her even longer to appreciate the fact that though the light from Asgard’s main star was permeating, it was not utterly warm -- like that of the desert Sun in New Mexico, or any number of places she’d visited on Earth. If there was one thing she had learned -- and learnt quickly in her field -- it was that the Sun was a harsh and unforgiving master of the dying earth beneath it. Thus, she lay there for some while, struggling between half awakeness and coherentness, likening that the reasoning was because Asgard took care of its world, of its atmosphere, rather than humans who had quite literally punched a hole through theirs. Hers. Was she so ready to think of herself as separate? Was it arrogance? Or was it something else?

This thought awakened her more than any familiar feeling of astronomy or physics. For it was the branch of a thought seeded deep within her subconscious -- a seed she was neither ready nor willing to exhume. 

Instead, she buried it deeper in the soil of her thoughts and pushed herself out of the bed she’d been given graciously by the Queen Frigga, Thor’s mother. She smiled at the relation -- they were so similar in appearance, and yet they seemed so opposite in personal likeness. She considered it sweet, endearing, that he was capable of such faithful love despite differences. Even grave differences.

She found a frown on her face when her thoughts turned to his dark haired brother, Loki, who resided in the suite beside hers. She had been given the suite in between the brothers. Jane had asked the Queen if the space had already existed between them, or if something had been rearranged -- for she would have felt horribly guilty had been the latter. But much to her relief, and somewhat expectancy, the gap had remained. She explained the brothers’ fighting was insufferable, nearly audible through the whole royal wing of palace if they were not separated, thus, their suites had been adjusted. Frigga had to decide who moved and who stayed, for they fought over that too, she revealed. 

Jane felt a pitiful grin emerge over her as she dressed herself and readied herself for the day -- pausing in uncertainty of what to do with herself whilst Thor was away on Odin’s convenient ‘peace-keeping’ mission. Nonetheless, she would attend breakfast as she did the day prior and hope for the best. 

She remembered the way to the breakfast room with ease, quickly strolling down the long hallways as she came to it, where she was dismally surprised to see Loki already seated and eating. 

“Ah, look who decided to partake,” his insults began. 

“Good morning,” she grumbled back, deciding not to hide the equal amount of bitterness -- bitterness if only to hide the confusion of how or what to feel or do around him. “You’re up early.”

“I’m an early riser,” he mused as he sipped something warm from a mug.

“More like an insomniac -- I heard you tossing last night,” she sighed and sat down, at the place she’d taken the day before, tossing a glance at him all the way at the other end of the table.

He only pursed his lips. “Perhaps you should be more selective in your hearing.” 

“And maybe you should try some tea or warm milk,” it was half sarcasm, half actual suggestion, as she was surprised by a servant who brought her plate.

“I doubt such trivial things will be of help,” he muttered, cursing himself after he spoke that he had revealed her to be correct in her assumption.

She watched his expression draw and grow dark as he ceased his meal and placed a thumb to his lips, his eyes unmoving and pensive. “Nightmares?” she assumed -- only because she recalled her own demeanour to be similar after her own experience with Malekith and the Aether; the fear it begot stirring in her nightmarish and strange dreams that had yet to cease.

“Careful, girl -- you know not of what you speak,” he snapped, his eyes the only things about him to move as they landed on her with prejudice. 

She quickly bit her tongue, trying to hide the fear of what he might do -- frightened that she had irreparably offended him in someway and she would yet face retribution. 

But she did not hide it well enough, and he saw the fear on her -- he smelt it on her, untamed and wild, he could recognise it anywhere, if only by empathy. He drew a sharp breath, feeling the grit of guilt on his teeth for having being short with her -- she was young, innocent, unknowing of the burden he bore, unknowing of her hand in worsening it. And altogether he could hear Sigyn’s quiet, soothing voice brush against his ear:

‘She cannot help her limitations, be kind, my love. Be kind.’

A heavy respire brought round bother her attention and his words back to him: “I have been deemed by Odin to accompany you throughout the palace,” he began, refusing to look at her, instead at the half eaten plate beneath him. “You are not to attend anywhere I am not, you are not to speak to any one I do not deem necessary, you are not to wander from, pester, or otherwise interfere with me or those around you.”

She tried -- for Thor’s sake -- not to take too personally his tone or his words, but at least they hadn’t come with as much spite. “So you’re...my babysitter?” she concluded, unsure if that had been an insult to Loki or her by Odin.

“Think of me as more of a...cultural liaison,” he motioned, and made the mistake of looking up at her -- briefly taken aback at the way the morning’s light struck her, they way her eyes seemed to be...on fire. He saw in that moment, not Jane, the Midgardian, but Sigyn, the Queen and Guardian of Nashtar, the Forest Realm. His wife, his love, his everything. 

But the image was abruptly taken from him as reality merged with the fictitious image in all but a second and he was along again. He tore his sights from her once more and placed them at the plate before him, having yet to take a bite.

“‘Cultural liaison’,” she repeated with a note of scepticism. “You realise there has to be some form of culture involved in order for that to work, right?”

He huffed at her persistence, but agreed nonetheless. “I assure you, I will not bore you senseless. I am certain there is something in these walls which will pique your interest,” he waved a hand vaguely. “That’s not to say I can think of anything at the moment, but...” 

She rolled her eyes. “Well, why don’t you show me what you like to do, or where you like to go?”

He paused, recalling his usual visiting places, and eliminated both those of illegality and danger, and came to a few conclusions off hand. “Very well.” 

She hadn’t been entirely sure whether she’d sealed a fate of doom or pleasure in her suggestion, but the one thought she had come to was: for being such a notorious silver-tongue he had hardly spoken a word to her the rest of the day -- or even looked at her for that matter. They’d been to the library, where she confessed an illiteracy to Asgardian, but a familiarity with Norse -- where Loki then supplied her with several children’s books, but she had whether to figure it a jab or a usefulness. They went to the music room where she witnessed instruments she had never imagined, and some rather familiar, studying frequencies, jotting notes when she could to compare to other notes when she returned. And he had yet to take her to a garden, though he had not specified what kind. 

Though, with every step alongside his, she was wary of perhaps setting him off into a frenzy in which he would snap at her again -- or worse. For she held two conflicting images of the man in her head: a vicious monster, who wrought naught but destruction, and self-sacrificing protector. Yet, with every word, she felt it necessary to decipher which was speaking.

“Come here,” he said, beckoning her with a finger as he stood outside his suite. 

She stood away from him, nearer her own door, where she furrowed her brow, suspicious of his motives in his invitation. 

“Oh for the sake of Valhalla -- I will not hurt you, now come here,” he said more sternly, unable to hide his frustration. 

She looked around, seeing the guards posted nearby -- they did nothing to make her suspect of his meaning, they did not stop him or even look at them. And she reassured herself that Darcy had lent her a TASER for the trip which she carried everywhere -- that if need be, she would use it. Thus, she obeyed, and approached him.

He opened the door to his suite, never relaying his regret that she should fear him so at all, and ushered her inside. Following behind her, he was quick to admonish preemptively: “Do not touch anything.” 

She had no intention, her hands where in the folds of her clothes, one hand on the TASER, the other on her stomach. But her fear did not allay her curiosity, and she found her eyes wandering to the state of his suite:

An organised mess. She could tell it had once been organised, it once was home to order, but had been recently thrust into chaos. The outer room was home to a lounge, hardly used for leisure, nearly pristine, save for the papers and clothes that piled atop it; a chest of drawers with a few drawers lightly open here and there as though he frequently rushed through them, and a desk with a hutch, the most organised space of all: as though he used it all the time. On it sat a mechanical device of some sort, at which she squinted -- she had never seen anything like it. Parts and pieces lay in columns all along the desk, with blueprints, hand drawn, beneath it all. But before she could make out what, precisely, it was he had been building, she was scolded from farther along the room: 

“It is impolite to spy on another’s belongings,” Loki droned, and stood beside a pair of open balcony doors.

She hurried along, grabbing one last glance at the desk’s contents before she hurried to him. “I’m sorry I -- just...” she looked up at him, where she caught his direct eye, under which she felt so very, very small. Thor towered over her, and yet she never felt small beneath his gaze, yet Loki seemed to loom uneasily: she felt very much akin to prey beneath the death stare of a hunter. Yet, he did not strike, he did not chastise, he did not scold, he did nothing, but turn away. 

In truth, had he held her gaze any longer, he felt he would not be able to keep up his facade, thus it had been easier to walk away with his stern and unforgiving exterior intact than risk it altogether. But he spoke nothing of this, and instead introduced her to the garden, his garden:

“I planted all of these,” he stated, unable to obscure the sound of pride from his voice as he stepped among the flowers and plants and trees. “I planted this one when I was a boy,” he smiled, craning his neck to see far above them where a tree lofted above the rest of the garden. 

Jane’s mouth gaped open. “It’s enormous! It must be so old -- I mean -- not that I mean...what I meant was...”

He only eyed her with his neck still lifted. “You are correct, it is two and a half millenia old -- far older than you will ever be.” 

Her mouth closed and her shoulders sank. “Right.”

“Which begs the question, why Thor would bother with a woman whose life is so fleeting -- and even more than that,” he turned, his hands clasped behind him, “why you would allow him to.”

Now that he spoke to her directly, she found she much preferred when he did not. Berated and belittled, she fumbled for her words, to justify herself to him -- a potential brother in law, if all were honest. “We...We are in love,” she took a step back out of offence. “Love is much more than...how many years one has together -- it’s about...being with that person completely when you have them,” she respired when she found the truth expelled itself from her.

Her words stung him -- far more than he had anticipated. He felt a small gasp in his lungs when she spoke and it was his turn to find his footing. “Foolish girl,” was all he could muster. “You know not the pain you will cause him. You will age, and he will not, and whilst he is cursed to the land of the living, you will be withering away until there is naught left of you but the deathbed that becomes his arms and last words are stolen by breaths full of regret!” he found he nearly lost his composure as he closed his words, and he knew it was not Thor and Jane he spoke of, but of Sigyn. The woman whose name was forbidden.

At first his harsh and unending words brought a stinging to her eyes, where she had half the mind to leave him and barricade herself in her room for the rest of the time Thor was gone. But then he turned away, a sharp exhale escaping him -- one she was not meant to hear -- and a pursing of his lips and a furrowing of his brow full of pain and not foresight but experience. And she realised all at once he spoke not of her, but of someone else. Someone he had once loved.

There was a lingering silence between them as he turned his back on her, yet unseeing to the plants before him, and she stared at him, suddenly understanding the bitterness, the coldness, the anger --

“How did she die?” she finally asked.

He briefly lifted his head, and his shoulder raised as he drew a breath. “She was murdered,” he answered, honestly for once, before he turned and looked her in the eye: “By one of your kind.”

Sense upon sense seemed to be poured over all his prior actions and his words, and she swallowed as she nodded. “That’s why you hate Midgard.”

He became quiet again, licking his lips. “Mostly.”

“I’m sorry...” she whispered, speaking from sincerity, extending her heart to him.

This surprised him and he drew back somewhat, straightening himself, before he turned from her again. “There’s nothing to be done about it.”

That, however, was a lie.

She had the mind to ask another question, but started when there came a rustling from deeper within the garden. “Is someone here?” she felt her hand go once more to her TASER.

“There should not be,” he replied, cocking his head curiously to the sound, when a gentle smile washed over him when its origin revealed itself. His shoulders relaxed, his face untensed, his entire being seemed to be at peace when there emerged from the foliage a deer-like creature from the hiding place. 

“A deer?” Jane let go of the weapon as she found herself smiling as well. 

“Indeed -- I rescued her,” he boasted, proud of such an innocent accomplishment. “Thor and his hunting party had her in their sights some while ago, I stopped them.”

While she appreciated the sentiment, she didn’t understand. “Why? Are you...vegan or...the Asgardian vegan-equivalent?” she felt embarrassed asking, uncertain the customs, neither the rituals. 

He only gave her a puzzling look, before he returned his sights to the doe and the rustling bush behind her. “I do not know what that is, but...” he motioned a hand to the bush. “That is why.”

Out followed the doe a young fawn, surely just a week old.

“She was with fawn, thus, I rescued her. Gave her a place f safety in which to rest and nurse her young,” he continued.

There spoke the self-sacrificer, the protector. 

She quietly approached, coming beside him as they watched the creatures investigate the greenery. “She’s beautiful.” 

His smile widened as he gazed at the doe. “Yes, she is.”

“What’s her name?” she asked, glancing from the deer to Loki.

A breath. And a pause. But he did not break his sights. “Sigyn. Her name was Sigyn.”

[namjoonbby1]

Betrayal

Pairing - Hoseok x Reader

Genre - Murder AU

Word Count - 3k

Part 4/?

Synopsis - When y/n’s husband is accused of murder she’s sure he’s innocent. But as detectives find clues that point to him as the perpetrator, will she stand for her husband or against him?

A/n - Idunno if anyone reads this but if you do enjoy (:

Preview Part One Part Two Part Three

Masterlist

suspicion

a feeling or thought that something is possible, likely, or true.

Trust is one of the most important things you can have in a relationship. Without it, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship.

I wish I could say that things got better when Hoseok picked me up but it didnt. At least I was able to sleep, as soon as we arrived back to our house I passed out. I was drained and my bed never felt so comfortable. In the morning Hoseok woke me up, letting me know that he had the maid run me some warm bath water and breakfast was being made for me. The bath was relaxing, I was able to clear my mind even if just for a second before Hoseok came into the bathroom with a cup of coffee in hand.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked handing me a mug full of the black liquid and sitting in the love seat I had in my bathroom. His eyes furrowed a bit as if he was worried but also upset.

"I'm fine just a little headache." I answered taking a sip of the coffee. It was bitter and disgusting, I hated black coffee and my husband knew that. I wasn't sure if he was punishing me for getting so drunk or if he just wanted me to sober up. Maybe both.

"I'm so sorry that my actions caused you to feel the need to get so drunk. Ive never seen you like this before." He said. He seemed extremely apologetic and my heart hurt a little.

"I just, I just thought I was over what you did to me. But now it feels like I'm reliving it, and I thought I could trust you but I can't."

"I'll do whatever I need to do to regain your trust. I may have not been honest about how many times I was with her, but I want to be honest about everyting moving forward." He said.

I wanted so badly to believe him, to put all of my faith in him and never think about the situation again. But we had tried that. I thought that I knew the whole truth and was blissfully unaware that I was in fact, being decieved.

"Okay. What else do you want to tell me?" I asked.

"Well I wasn't completely honest about where I was the night Mina died."

"Where were you Hoseok?" I asked sternly.

"I went to meet her." He said.

"You cant be serious?" I said rubbing my head. I thought that my headache was fading but it had only gotten worst. The pain was a pulsating ache and everytime I would look Hoseok in the eye my head would throb.

"Im serious. She sent me a text saying that she needed to talk to me about something important. I went to meet her at a location she sent me but she never showed up." He stated.

"Hoseok why would you try to go and meet the woman that you cheated on me with?" I was really trying to understand his logic at this point. I never asked him to stay away from her. He was the one who told me he wanted to stay away. So why would he feel the need to sneak around and meet her. Was he seeing her again?

"I know it was stupid. I was worried because she never called me, she never even talked to me. We both agreed we wouldn't talk to one another after the affair and I worried that something was wrong if she was suddenly requesting to meet me."

I thought about it for a while. That's why he was running late to meet up with me the night of the charity event, because he went to meet her. What else could he be hiding? I wondered.

"What else are you hiding from me??" I demanded an answer.

"Jagi, that's everything. I swear." He said grabbing a hold of my hand. "I'll never hurt you again."

I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath. I wished I could believe him, that everything could just go back to how it was a few days ago but I couldnt, we couldn't.

"I just need time."

"Okay, I understand that." He said.

After exiting the bath, Hoseok finally went to work and I had the house to myself, with the exception of our housemaid. I went to look for her, I wanted to apologize for all the craziness that's been going on with the police coming over and what not. Our home usually wasn't this chaotic.

I saw her as I entered the kitchen, and she noticed me as well greeting me with her warm smile.

"Feeling better Mrs. Jung?" She asked. I wondered if I still looked like hell, considering how drunk I had gotten last night I was sure that I did.

"A bit, Mari how is everything going?" I asked sitting down at the kitchen bar as she continued to clean and then pausing to answer the question.

"I'm okay, Mrs. Jung. How is everything?"

"It's a little hetic right now but Im managing. I just wanted to let you know that we have officers coming over again later today. I wanted to warn you ahead of time so that you weren't alarmed."

"It's no problem, I knew that they cops would have to interrogate Mr. Jung after everything." She stated and her sentence caught me off guard.

"Everything?" I wondered what all she knew about this entire situation.

"Yes well since you and Mr. Jung were really close to Mrs. Kim." Close? I'm not sure if I would use that word to describe Mina and I's relationship, especially after the affair.

"I guess you could say we were kind of close to her. It's just so unfortunate that this happened to her." Even after finding out that her and Hoseok had seen eachother on a regular basis I still felt geninuely bad about the gruesome way in which she died.

"Yes it is, do you know how Mr. Jung is going to be prosecuted?" She questioned causing me to look at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Prosecuted? Why would Hoseok be prosecuted."

"I just thought, I thought that... " She started. But stopped as if she was afriad to speak. Any thoughts I had that Mari didn't have an clue about the situation were quickly cast out of my mind. She knew something, possibly more than I and I needed to find out what.

"Mari, I'm getting the feeling that you know more than I do. Please tell me everything that you know." I begged.

"But Mr. Jung instructed me not to tell you." She said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. There was some type of secret that my husband had instructed our housemaid to keep?

"He did what? Listen Mari, I promise he won't find out about this conversation. But now you need to tell me everything."

"Okay." She stated sitting down next to me.

"It all started a couple of months ago. Mina would come over often and Im sure you are already aware of what they would do. But lately they would aruge a lot, I overheard Mrs. Kim say that she didnt want to be involved anymore because she loved her husband. But Mr. Jung was very upset and he told her she had no choice but to continue seeing him."

My heart was hurting and I was struggling to keep up with what Mari was saying without changing my demeanor and expression because I honestly was hurting and disgusted all at the same time. Mari noticed and stopped talking.

"Im fine, please continue." I spoke.

"The last time it became violent. I believe you were out taking care of business when she came over. I tried not to easedrop but I heard Mina crying. She was saying that she was sure she was pregnant and knew that It had to be Mr. Jung's child. He become so upset, I could hear them shouting from the living room. He told her that she needed to get rid of the child or else he would."

"Oh god, no." I breathed out in total distress.

"Mrs. Jung please don't tell Mr. Jung. That night when he had seen that I was in the kitchen and had heard everything he warned me against telling anyone. He said that he would let me go and I can't afford to lose this job. I have a family to provide for." She reasoned.

"Don't worry." I said softly taking slow and steady breathes to calm down, you aren't going to be fired. I really appreciate you letting me know all of this Mari." I said forcing a smile to reassure her.

I let Mari go home for the night, she usually stayed in home with us but her husband and children lived on their own so she would occasionally go visit so I decided that it would be best for her to do that. When she was gone I took out my phone to call the detectives who were assigned to Mina's case and they told me they would be over shortly.

The time I waited seemed to go on for forever. And while I waited for them I thought over and over again about Hoseok. Was he really capable of killing someone? I believed he was the most warm hearted and caring person on the planet. He hardly ever raised his voice and was so mild tempered. The person that Mari described to me when she went over his conversation with Mina was not the Hoseok I knew. He seemed harsh and aggressive and I didnt know what to think.

A year ago I would have said that there was absolutely no way my husband would be capable of hurting anyone. But lie after lie he was breaking my heart and losing my trust and I didn't know what to do or how to feel.

The more I thought the more I wondered if I was making the right decision in acting so fast to reach out to the officers. I didn't know what I was doing or if I was making the right decision. The doorbell ran interrupting me mid thought and I knew that there was no more time for pondering. I needed be an adult and handle this situation so I calmed myself and went to answer the door.

I filled the officers in on every unpleasant detail that the maid had shared with me. I hated to do this to my husband but Mina was pregnant and her murder was gruesome. Whomever was responsible for that, may it be Hoseok or whomever else needed to be held accountable.

After hearing everything that I had to say the detectives said that they needed to do a search of our house so I waited anxiously until they were finished. Namjoon returned with something that was in a plastic bag. I could not tell what It was from a distance but as he got nearer I realized that It was a hammer and my eyes widened.

"Mrs. Jung, are you familiar with this?" He asked giving me a closer look and as I inspected it I saw very visible blood on it and my heart rate started to increase.

"I um - I think that could be ours. Where was that?"

"It was in hidden in your fireplace. We believe that this could be our murder weapon and based on this and your statement today we are going to preceded with an arrest."

My hand quickly covered my mouth and a stumbled back, Namjoon reached out to help me. "You are going to arrest him?"

"We have the murder weapon and plausible cause. We are going to get a warrant and we should be back shortly."

This was all happening so fast and before I knew it the detectives were leaving, and I was staring out of my dining room window waiting for my husband to arrive home. His car pulled up moments later and he entered the house taking off his shoes and heading towards my direction

"There you are baby. I've been trying to call you to see if you had eaten. I picked up take out." I heard him place something on the table but I didnt turn around I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

"Are you still upset?" He said approaching me from behind and wrapping his arms around my waist. I finally spun around to face him my eyes were watering and I knew that he could tell something was up.

"Y/n, are you crying? Baby I know you are upset with me. But please don't cry. He said wipling away at my tears.

"Did you - do it?" I finally managed to say.

"Did I do what?" He asked genuinely concered.

"Did you kill her Hoseok?" I asked.

"What?" Hoseok said as if I was telling some sort of joke and he couldn't understand the punchline. "You aren't serious are you?"

"You cant lie to me anymore, you have to be honest now." I said through tears.

"I didn't kill Mina!!" He yelled and I immediately shut myself off. I didn't want to hear the lies I just couldn't take it anymore, so I remained silent fixing my gaze back on the window.

"Look at me y/n. You have to talk to me." He said but I continued to ignore him.

“Turn around and talk to me.” Hoseok demanded as I looked out of the window. I didn’t want to look at him, if I did I knew that I would be moved by his soft features, the face that I had fallen in love with.

“What have I done to you? What could I have done to make you believe that I could be capable of doing something this horrible?”

“Look at me!!” Hoseok yelled as he hit the dinning room table causing a glass to fall and shatter on the floor. I jumped in fear from his actions. In the entire time I had known him I had never been so afraid.

I felt a wave of relief but also nervousness as I heard police cars in the distance. The cars approached our mansion and I saw that the gates were opened and they were coming  in. Moments later they entered the room.

“Jung Hoseok you are under arrest for the murder of Kim Mina." Namjoon said.

"What the hell is going on?" Hoseok yelled.

"You have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.”

“Did you do this?” Hoseok asked as the officers started to secure handcuffs on him.

The look that he gave me wasn’t one of anger. I think that I could have handled that a bit more. The look that he gave me was one of pure hurt, it was as If I had taken a knife to his abdomen. I felt absolutely horrible and refused to look at him.

“Y/n please look at me.” He said as he was being dragged out of our house by Taehyung and another officer.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and I could only look out of the window. I watched as they dragged him to the car and before they put him in the back seat he looked at me and I that’s when the tears I held in started to pour down my face.

I let out a loud sob breaking down and Namjoon just stared at me as if he wasn't quite sure what to do. He finally walked closer to me and after what seemed like minutes of uncertainty he pulled me into his arms allowing me to sob on his chest.

We stayed like that for a while before I calmed down a bit and was able to sit on the sofa.

"I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but regardless of what happens you are a very brave person y/n." Namjoon stated.

"Brave? All I did was turn in my husband."

"You are seeing that Mrs. Jung's family gets justice for her murder even if that means that your husband is taken away from you. That's bravery y/n."

"Well thank you."

"If you need anything, anything at all." Namjoon said placing his hand on my shoulder. "Don't hesitate to give me a call."

Namjoon left and I was alone. Being alone is the worst possible thing to he when you have so many thoughts in your heard. Because you have no one to distract you from everything you were thinking. I tried to turn on the Tv just to have some sort of Distraction but I just stared at it blankly as I pondered my current situation.

Was Hoseok going to be convicted for Mina's murder? If so how long would he be in prison? Did I need to call a lawyer to get divorce papers? And how is Jin going to feel when he finds out that his best friend possibly murdered his wife?

So many questions, so many thoughts. It was all too much and I wanted nothing more than to run away but I couldn't. I couldn't change anything about my current situation and it left me to wonder

Is life going to get any better?