#even MORMONTS are not united with jorah mormont supporting dany.

[themoonofblueside]

it's just so funny that ned is like "sigh i hate southron politics there is no one to trust i miss winterfell i belong to the north" while in adwd the north is like. fifteen different conspiracies for a different heir, at least two houses with associated with cannibalism or flaying people, everyone hating each other, not a single family united for the same cause or even same side, vengeance ideas that would make oberyn martell weep-

[ladyaryawolf]

People love to claim that Daenerys is mad, because she set the Masters of Yunkai and Meereen on fire, and later on the TV Show(that is not canonic in the books, thanks God, they ruined her in the last two seasons), to the Lannister Army and then King's Landing. (completly ooc the last One)

The whole people anti-dany comes with the same discourse: “This is a war crime. It is wrong to set people on fire. She is mad. Don’t you see what she is doing?”

Yeah. It is wrong set people on fire.

But why is always Dany that have to be called mad?

People don’t call Jon or Tyrion mad when they have done the exactly same thing? I believe that Jon is much more harsh when it comes to war. Much more than Dany ever was. I dare to say if he had a dragon, he would have done much, much worse to his enemies already. Don’t believe me? Read the books. You will understand from where I came from, because the show!Jon is not book!Jon. Show!Jon is like an innocent puppy close of his book counterpart.

Do you know something that is also wrong but you guys close your eyes? Feeding the dogs with a living person. Of course, this just happend in the show, but why you guys don’t come saying: Uh, Sansa is mad, look what she did.

Wait, but you don’t, do you? Because occording to you all “He was his enemy, he abused her, and he raped her.”

Do you think they would just kick her out of the city and everything would be okay?

No, they would rape her, humiliate her and then put her head on a spike. They would not just be like, “get out of here”. It is not a school fight, it is a war. You guys have to put it in your heads. A war where there is no Geneva Convention and no United Nations to help seeking a diplomatic solution.

Double standard much?

When it comes to comparing Dany to men, then? Sexism? Misoginy?

“Oh, but Sansa didn’t do it in the books.” No, in the books she is currectly helping poisoning an innocent child, so she can marry the next heir and become Lady of the Eyrie.

“Oh, but Dany conquered those cities and changed their culture and fucked their economy.”

First: She didn’t change the culture. She respected as long as there were no enslavement involved. She tried to please the Meereen lords, she studied their history, used their clothes.

Second: all the cities she conquered had the main “economy sustent” from slaves. Slave market. Do you support it?

If you had dragons, and an army, would you just look at them: Children, women and men treated as objects, treated like animals. Would you just turn your back, even knowing you could have done something to help? Or would you try to help?

Dany tried to help. She could just have burned the master and go with all her dragons, a dothraki/unsullied army and sail to Westeros, since according to most of you, she just wants to be Queen.

But she didn’t do it. She stayed and fought.

Jorah Mormont: Taking this city will not bring you any closer to Westeros or the Iron Throne.

Daenerys Targaryen: How many slaves are there in Yunkai?

Jorah Mormont: 200,000, if not more.

Daenerys Targaryen: Then we have 200,000 reasons to take the city.

This seems power hungry to you? Just to complement.

Do you know what it is like to be sold, squire? I do. My brother sold me to Khal Drogo for the promise of a golden crown. Well, Drogo crowned him in gold, though not as he had wished, and I… my sun-and-stars made a queen of me, but if he had been a different man, it might have been much otherwise. Do you think I have forgotten how it felt to be afraid?

She is not trying to change Yunkai, Meereen and Slaver’s bay so she can be queen. She is not doing this for power. She is not doing it for some selfish reason, she is doing it because she knows how is to be a slave, she knows what is to feel powerless. How it is to be objetified. And what else? She doesn’t want the others to feel the same. She doesn’t want others to feel like simple objects. Everything she has done in Slaver’s Bay was for selfless reasons. She is not doing it for herself. She is doing it for them, to rescue those people and the only way she believes that is possible changing the system is crowning herself Queen.

Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?

This quote is so strong.

She doesn’t believe that Queen is just birthright, no, she believes that a Queen, a leader, has to put their people in first place. It is not about you and your crown, it is about the powerless, the poor, the children and the women. It is about protecting her people.

Also, leadership is not all flowers and glitter. She is fighting a war and when you are a leader, a King or a Queen, you have to make difficult decisions. It comes really close of Maquiavel principles “The Prince” and is really good to read it by Dany’s point of view. Her conflict.

It is such a long way. I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl.

Dany is not even 18. She is a child trying to help the others. Her actions are not out of madness. They are out of a selfless naivety and she is facing the consequences bravely.

They are not strong, she told herself, so I must be their strengh.

Bônus: Tyrion agrees with me.

[...]this Mother of Dragons, this Breaker of Chains, is above all a rescuer.

Bye!💕✨

[jonroxton]

what happens when you read too much dune and are still obsessed with dany/jorah. THIS HAPPENS. fake history ala fire and blood but no maester nonsense. posted under capitainpistol over at a03.

Modern scholars would have us believe every new century brings with it new ideas. To put it bluntly, that is not so. The foundation of progress has been the same since the Dawn Age. There are new discoveries, new inventions and new laws, but these things are forever built upon the cyclical nature of the universe of which all things are beholden. Fire was always fire. Dragons were always dragons. Sickness. Salt. Songs. Life and death. Even the double bladed monstrosity of magic. These things existed before we knew they existed, that is to say things are known to us or they are unknown. Once they are known they are altered. A river is a river until someone builds a dam, for mankind itself churns within cycles of creation and destruction, the only creatures to rival the myriad gods in such feats.

The Archmaesters of the Citadel named this foundation a wheel, turning and turning. The Faith has its Seven who are One, allowing for choice in seven sided rainbow temples. The Braavosi, the escaped slave survivors of Valyria before the Doom, are closest in our estimation to encapsulating the truth of the world in housing all the gods and accepting all gods children from all corners of Terros. Here the wheel turns on water and the philosophical truth comes from its flow and the power it generates to sustain life on the thousand islands. We in our secret society view Terros in that regard. One land in one ocean in one world in one void with one sun under one Heaven, perhaps under a single monotheistic god.

Amongst ourselves there is much debate about giving theistic power to these possibilities (these unknowns), especially and specifically the challenging of the gods who already are. Rather to say, if the wheel is the foundation religion is the road on which it rides and those can lead anywhere. We willingly walk away from the road, far enough that we have speculated on the chance existence of other suns and other Terran-like planets. Perhaps one day we may build ships to sail the stars and seek them, but who is to say how the waters of Terros will flow in five hundred or even a thousand years. For now, we write for posterity, for ourselves, for the kindly patrons who risk their lives in supporting us, and for whoever (man, woman or child, boy or girl, highborn or low) finds us. There is no ultimate goal, whatever may have been said of us. We do not claim absolute truth. We want simply to understand what was to better understand what will be. It is daunting, we know, but it is merely one belief amongst many and a dangerous one, but what challenges are not dangerous? We are one people, we are one world. We are in it together. We are our history. We are our future. The seed is planted. The seed grows.

Two thousand years ago dragons burned through the East and created the barren no man's land called the Red Waste. A thousand years later, long after dragons died, a young girl lost her husband and child and birthed new dragons. This girl ended the feudal stronghold of Westeros that had reigned for over ten thousand years (barring the Northern lands ruled by the Red Starks, descendants of Queen Sansa Stark) and released Drogon the Last God onto the East, giving the Asshaii Sun Emperor Ly and his Moon Empress Chani all the power they needed to begin their conquest of the West with the first engine ships. Could Nymeria herself have imagined it? Thirty thousand ships breathing cannons and a score of dragons called the Army of the Red. The conquest took a mere four years and the Chan Dynasty (for the Asshaii take the name of the elder in the marriage) has ruled since, marrying their only rivals, the Dothraki. Khal Aego, himself a descendant of Khal Aggo, one of Daenerys Targaryen's bloodriders, long honored the memory of the first and only Khaleesi to rule them and named his firstborn and heir Lyo Daenis Chan after Daenerys, she who is Khal Empress today. It was Daenis who commissioned the first secret history of Daenerys Targaryen and sent an emissary to Westeros in search of the lost works of Samwell Tarly, known to history as Sam the Slayer.

Amongst the works found in that search were several discarded chapters focusing on Targaryen history, giving rise to the popular new theory of the Slayer having divided loyalties. That is the crux of our chagrin with the latest wave of revisionism. Of all historians it is Samwell Tarly whose work is most prolific, even barring the aprocyphal texts the Citadel slowly omitted from his works over the centuries. Together with his extensive journals, notes and personal collections (and those of the less known wilding writings of Gilly Flowers) we have a massive source of that time collectively called the Song of Westeros or the Song of Ice and Fire. Though it is now commonly believed to represent Lord Commander Jon Snow (for ice), a Stark bastard, brother to Queen Sansa, and Daenerys Targaryen (for fire), Asshaii scholars and several texts show rather the dichotomy to be one united whole signifying an ancient prophecy with disastrous results if unrealized, which many believed to have been so, including the death cults who continously seek life after death.

Sam the Slayer himself did not dwell too much (or at all) on the romanticism of Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen, initially intending his title to represent the unity of opposites and the tragedy of their end. While not a Targaryen loyalist, it is clear through his work of his deep empathy for others and his ability to approach them with a kind eye. It is these works that inspired the creation of our anonymous pamphlets seeking to understand our world. The most curious of his discarded texts is the one he titled after an ancient Westron song, the Bear and the Maiden Fair, in which his thesis of unity is most realized and where Daenerys Targaryen is the heroine. Versions of this story have been passed through history both written and oral. It is the the story of Ser Jorah's doomed love for Daenerys and her grief for him killing her long before Jon Snow assassinated her in the Red Keep.

We leave you with an excerpt telling of the Slayer's empathy and insight and warning for a future divided.

“Here is what we know, Drogon is out there. Here is what I know, Drogon lost and grieved as any man, woman or child would. With my own eyes I saw him cradle Daenerys as she cried and held the dead body of her loyal servant, Ser Jorah Mormont, the only time she ever touched him so intimately. They met as exiles, when he was loyal to the Iron Throne. Her death was his pardon. Ever after he sought her approval and her heart, obtaining one but never the other. He crossed the world for her, he fought for her. Together they conquered worlds. He lived for her, knowing he would never have her, and he died for her, as he promised. I saw her take the torch to his pyre and watched the fire take him. A part of her went with him, perhaps the part that could not love him, leaving her with the part that finally did. I saw my friend and commander Lord Jon Snow, the man she did love, the man she chose, the man who killed her, standing next to the melted metal tears of what was the Iron Throne. Did Drogon spare the man who killed his mother, the rider of his dead brother Rhaegal? If so, that was mercy. Had Jorah lived, Jon Snow would not be alive. Had Jorah lived, perhaps King's Landing would not have burned. Did Drogon recognize the futility of his mother's pursuit of power and blame the game of thrones? If so, it means one terrifying thing. He is still out there, grieving, and he who grants mercy need not grant it a second time.”

[arabian-bloodstream]

I am just in a complete state of I can't even over people saying that killing the Night King was too easy. Like bitch, please! Or that it should have been Jon. I don't think so. Lemme explain!

Too easy? Thousands of people died, pretty much all of the Dothraki died. Most of the Unsullied died, Many, many Northerners died. Winterfell was close to destroyed. Every single one of their plans fell through. It took not one, not two, but three tries to bring down the Night King... including literal dragon fire to kill him, and THAT did not work. Theon Greyjoy--one of the series' main supporting characters from episode one from season one--died trying to kill the Night King.

It literally (as in the LITERAL definiton of the word 'literally') took Arya Fucking Stark--someone who has has spent six of the previous seven seasons *again* LITERALLY training for this very moment--being in the exact same spot where the Night King was created and stabbing him through the exact spot where the Dragonglass was plunged into his heart to create him to kill him.

Six of eight seasons, Arya spent training.

Season 01: Jon has a sword especially made for her. Ned approves her keeping that sword and getting her lessons from the first Sword of Braavos, Syrio Forel. She's chasing cats, learning to be swift and silent and still in King's Landing.

Season 02: She continues to train while on the run with those lessons taught by Syrio. Interacts with Jaqen H'Gar of the Faceless Men and impresses him enough that he gave her the Faceless Man coin, teaching her the phrase Valar morghulis.

Season 03: She continues to train with a bow/arrow, and meets the Red Woman, who recognizes a sense of destiny about Arya Stark.

Season 04: She continues to train upon retrieving Needle, continung her dancing lessons, she also learns more lessons about death from the Hound.

Season 05: She travels across the Narrow Sea to Braavos and begins training with the Faceless Men.

Season 06: She finishes her training with the Faceless Men.

So anyone saying that Arya being able to do kill the Night King was NOT paying attention to her story. It's been there ALL ALONG. This is what her story has been. And anyone saying that it should have been Jon's story was not paying attention to his story. Jon's story wasn't about killing the Night King it was about rallying people to get the pieces in place. Which he did. Everyone played the part they were supposed to play.

And people thinking that the people who died not being "main" characters or that none of them mattered really, I don't think so.

- Theon Greyjoy... He's been there since episode 01 and was a main supporting character. - Jorah Mormont... Same, he's been there since episode 01 and was a main supporting character. - Lyanna Mormont... She was supposed to be a one-off character, but was so phenomenal, she stuck around and was a huge fan favorite. - Delorous Edd... He's been there since season 01, and was a big fan favorite. - Beric Dondarrion... He's been there since season 03. - Melisandre... She's been there since season 02 and is an important recurring character.

Now, sure, maybe only Theon and Jorah were main supporting players, but they were important and were there from the first episode, and the others who died were varying degrees of fan favorites and they played important parts to the story.

Plus, if anyone thinks that Edd dying didn't mean anything to Jon and Sam, they have not been paying attention to their scenes throughout the series.

If anyone thinks that Jorah dying didn't mean anything to Dany, and Grey Worm, Missandei and Tyrion, they haven't been paying attention.

If anyone thinks that Lyanna Mormont dying won't mean a helluva lot to the remaining of the North they haven't been paying attention to the North.

If anyone thinks that Theon's death didn't matter to Sansa, to Jon, to Arya, to the Iron Born--with their ships still available--they haven't been paying attention.

If anyone thinks that Beric's sacrifice meant nothing to Arya and the Hound, they have not been paying attention.

The director of this episode, Miguel Sapochnik, said that episodes 3-5 are all connected, so if you think this was the end of what's happening... you have not been paying attention.

I wanted to do 3, 4, and 5 and there literally just weren’t enough days because we shoot two units. Then I said "4 and 5" and they said, "No, you have to do 3 and 5." What I really like about 3, 4, and 5 is they’re a complete piece with a beginning middle and end.

Pay attention, people, just pay attention to the story on the screen instead of rushing so quickly to the internet to complain.

[sheikah]

My thoughts on Friki’s 8.01 leak

Ok so first and foremost I just want to say that this information is received second and even thirdhand. I do not speak Spanish and did not watch Friki’s video. As it was playing @adecila was kind enough to translate for @muttpeeta who was kind enough to chat with me. My bff @dracarysqueen was also feeding me some info (thanks my love!) and I read a somewhat broken English and at times unclear translation here. It gives you a gist of the video and I’m grateful to u/hang_the_dj2 for making it.  Edit: Here is @adecila‘s leak translation so that you guys can draw your own conclusions without my salt about these revelations haha. Her translation is the undisputed best and I didn’t see it prior to writing this post, though my response is still the same!

One of the first things I read about the leak was the bit about Gendry/Arya. Essentially Gendry makes a weapon to Arya’s specifications. He calls her “m’lady” purposely to fluster her. There is “sexual tension” between Arya and Gendry. HELLO??? I can’t fucking wait. This is going to take over as like the whole world’s GoT OTP lol calling it now <3 

Arya apparently also reunites with the Hound. My takeaway from that bit of the translation is that Sandor mentions something about how Arya didn’t go through with killing him, and I guess he’s grateful for that now? That part was a bit unclear to me in the translation I read. 

Arya also reunites with Jon (!!!!!) where they share a tender hug, compare weapons with one another, and generally have a sweet and positive interaction. Arya is wary of telling Jon that she’s a Faceless Man, and Jon asks Arya to try and talk Sansa into coming around re: Dany. It is obvious that Sansa dislikes or distrusts Dany and Jon is troubled by this and asks for Arya’s help. I’ve heard from one person that Jon also asks Arya to talk to Dany herself. I’m really pleased by the prospect of this because I knew that Arya would support Jon no matter what, and that that support would extend to Dany since they’re obviously in love. 

Speaking of, Friki did make note of the fact that Jonerys is obvious to everyone else: Davos, Tyrion, Varys, etc. Sansa can see it too and asks Jon point blank if he bent the knee out of love or if he did it to save the North. Apparently Jon is extremely taken aback that she would ask this question. We aren’t told more about this moment but I’m guessing Jon is offended that she would ever think he would do something as serious as swearing fealty to Dany simply because of his romantic feelings, and not with the best interests of his home and family at heart. I’ll be interested to see how that conversation ends.

Also, I realize we all already knew this (and have been knowing this literally forever) but these revelations all completely disprove political!Jon. Yeah, it was already disproven by the scripts and basically everything else about canon but this is just another nail in the coffin. Jon having apparently private conversations with both Sansa and Arya about his love for Dany pretty much solidifies that he isn’t secretly playing her in the interest of Stark supremacy or independence. 

That independence, though, is something that is still important to the Northern lords. Lyanna Mormont is outspoken in her disapproval of Dany as queen. She notes that they chose Jon as king, not Dany. Again, we knew this was coming, but I’m stricken again by how silly this is. It’s literally the end of the world. Can this discussion not wait?

Anyway, the Northern lords are not a fan of Dany and it is obvious. Apparently Dany attempts to ingratiate herself to Sansa. Something along the lines of her telling Sansa the North is beautiful. I guess this isn’t successful given the bit about Jon talking to Arya about how much Sansa dislikes Dany.

The Northern lords also tell Jon and Dany soon after their arrival at Winterfell that the Night King has turned Viserion into a wight and is riding him. Dany is distraught by this information and encourages Jon to ride Rhaegal already, in episode 1, BEFORE he finds out about being a Targaryen. They do this to try and get an edge over the Night King. 

Jon does ride Rhaegal while Dany rides Drogon, it’s a great time, and they have a pretty passionate makeout session afterward lol. Friki specifically said this was a good episode for Jonerys scenes. I obviously love this bit of info and think it’s hot and exactly what I want for them both. Who wouldn’t get turned on by riding a dragon with Dany???? (also, lol at how accurate @muttpeeta‘s fic is!!!!) My only wish is that the dragon riding happened after the reveal. I just think it would be a more significant acceptance of his identity for Jon to reach this milestone after discovering he’s a Targaryen. At the same time, I like this because it shows how much Dany loves and trusts him already. Before learning he’s a Targ, before learning he has a claim to the IT, she is already willing to share everything with Jon--even her “children.”

Also at Winterfell, Dany and Jorah break the news to Sam about the death of Randyll and Dickon. This is the part I really don’t like, so I apologize in advance for the rant here. So Dany shares this information and Sam is unbothered by the death of his father. Good. We expected that. He is, however, perturbed by the death of Dickon. While he thanks Dany for sharing the information with him, he is upset and apparently leaves to seek out Bran for more insight. Bran stresses that it isn’t important and that Jon needs to know the truth of his parentage. So Sam leaves Bran and finds Jon in the crypts. 

The first thing Sam shares with Jon, though, has nothing to do with Jon or his parentage. Sam finds Jon to tell him that Dany killed Randyll and Dickon. Jon, understandably, isn’t really phased. There are more important things to worry about, and Jon points out that not only do they need Dany, Dany is the queen. This is the moment when Sam drops the bomb. He tells Jon the truth of his parentage. Jon is shocked and denies it. Sam pushes further and tells him that Dany doesn’t have to be the queen because Jon is the king. 

This is the part that really, really bothers me. A lot. I knew there would be friction about Jon’s parentage. I knew there would be friction about Jon’s claim to the Iron Throne. What I didn’t expect was for the Tarly deaths to be brought up again (literally they brought these unimportant characters back in s7 just to kill them, just to cast doubt on Dany’s decision-making by her male advisers) in the same breath as Jon’s parentage reveal. These things are not of equal importance. The world is literally ending and we’re supposed to be worried about Dany’s judgment again? And to say she “killed” Randyll and Dickon is silly anyway. Let’s not forget: Dany didn’t break into Horn Hill with a dagger and kill Sam’s unsuspecting family in their sleep. Sam’s family betrayed Olenna Tyrell, sacked the Reach, wiped out the entirety of House Tyrell leaving no survivors at Highgarden, and allowed their liege Lady to be murdered in cold blood by Jaime Lannister. Dany retaliated on behalf of her slain allies and even offered mercy to the Tarlys if ony they’d swear allegiance to her instead. They refused, and died for their crimes. Why is this still being discussed? I genuinely don’t understand. 

By comparison, the Umbers and Karstarks betrayed their liege and were killed, but that act was seen as so egregious that Sansa suggested (and was supported in this suggestion by many Northerners) that even the descendants of the traitors be rooted out of their homes in retaliation for treachery. So why is Dany’s righteous vengeance on traitors still an issue? Why?

The episode apparently ends with Sam telling Jon that he is the heir. Again, I understand that. Westeros is built on male-preference primogeniture. Jon’s claim could trump Dany’s (for multiple reasons) and Sam and others would see that and likely push Jon to see it. The natural extension of that argument would be to suggest that Jon and Dany marry and unite their claims. Instead, Sam is possibly (again, we just had one brief video and multiple translations and interpretations of this video. I’m not sure exactly what Sam said) encouraging Jon to press his claim as king because 1. he has a potentially better claim and 2. because Sam might not believe Dany is an ideal queen due to the Tarly execution after the loot train battle. 

I just hate this. I find it massively OOC for Sam to use the huge moment of Jon’s parentage reveal to air his grievances about something Dany did. I find it massively OOC for Sam to be so concerned about Dickon in the first place, especially now. We have not been shown a positive Sam/Dickon relationship in canon, and Dickon was aware of Randyll’s abuse of Sam--he witnessed it firsthand--and did nothing to protect Sam or stand up to his father. On the contrary, Dickon loved and looked up to the brutal Randyll enough to willingly die at his side. This was not a man who was overly concerned about Sam, or vice versa. But now, suddenly, Sam loves his little brother enough to complain to Jon about Dickon’s death in a way that disparages Dany? Additionally, Sam is one of the few people at Winterfell who knows exactly how big of a threat the Night King and the White Walkers are, and we’re supposed to believe his main concern right now is what happened to Dickon? We’re also supposed to believe that Sam, Jon’s best friend, would think he could talk Jon into being king of the 7K, despite Jon’s multiple explicit statements about how much he abhors ruling?

So we’re going to have a delightful week between episodes 1 and 2 during which the antis compose dissertation-length dark!Dany meta like crazy. We have to suffer under what I consider to be a very poorly manufactured conflict that was written just for petty drama. I literally spent the day today at a conference on Women’s Leadership and one of the key topics discussed was how women with true power are seen as threatening and have to work twice as hard to be taken seriously. Glad to see Game of Thrones doing literally nothing to challenge that idea where Dany is concerned. 

Moving on. 

We also apparently learn that Theon saves Yara early on, early enough to be back at Winterfell in time for the Battle of Winterfell. I’m thrilled as a shameless Yara fangirl :)

In King’s Landing Cersei receives word of the Night King and wight!Viserion. She also sees that the Golden Company arrives but not with the force she expected. Apparently they were supposed to have elephants, and they don’t? She’s angry about this, but still sleeps with Euron as payment for delivering her army. I also read somewhere that back at Winterfell, Tyrion is aware that Cersei has commissioned the GC and that she plans to use them against the North instead of as aid against the Night King. This is interesting considering Friki’s other leak involving some treachery by Tyrion later in the season.

Overall, the episode sounds compelling at least and I’m excited about Gendrya, a Jon/Arya reunion, Jonerys getting horny from riding dragons together lol, and Yara living. But Sansa still being a constant voice of opposition for Jon, and the petty Jon/Dany/Sam conflict is really unsettling to me and I’ve very tired of hearing about Randyll and Dickon Tarly. 

[bonnieberries]

queen in the north

The King in the North abdicates his throne and pledges allegiance to the Dragon Queen. However, the North remembers, and doesn’t follow suit. one shot 3k+

The walls of Winterfell and the people within them are cold and unforgiving.

This realization is something Daenerys takes to heart. For she is meant to be their ruler, and a good ruler is supposed to be beloved by the people. She cannot be like her father. She is no Mad King.

Despite the chaos of the preparations for war, she tries her best to garner favor with the lords and common folk. She sends Missandei out to deliver bread and warm blankets to the poor in baskets adorned with the Targaryen emblem so that they know exactly which ruler they have to thank for those goods. Missandei assures Dany that she only hears nothing but positive words in gratefulness and adoration for her. This relieves her, but she had always known that the common folk would be easy to sway into her favor. Their minds are ruled by hunger and cold, and they will say anything to ensure that there is a solution to their problem. The real challenge, has been the Lords.

The Lords staunchly deny her, her rightful place. When Daenerys first arrived in Winterfell, smiling proudly besides Jon as he announced his wish to bend the knee, the chaos that unfolded made the smile slip off her lips in a blink of an eye. The Lords sneered and jeered, spitting insults with no qualm. “Dragon Lover”, “Mad Queen” and “Traitor” were popular insults that echoed around the hall. Daenerys had looked at Jon, hoping he would force some sense into their minds, but he was at a loss, his dark eyes lowered, and his shoulders sagged in defeat.

It was the lady of Winterfell who had silenced the crowd as she stood from her place. Jon Snow’s half-sister could not look more different from him with cold blue eyes and auburn plaits. Dany had yet to speak with her. Lady Stark had not been at the greeting party when they first arrived, but she knew Jon had gone to speak with her that night. He had not come back to her chambers, like she had expected, but it was understandable. He was back home after a long while, and if he wanted to spend time with his family, then how could she speak against that?

“My lords,” Lady Stark’s voice was measured. “There is a war brewing outside of our walls, let us not have one brewing inside our walls as well.”

“Tell the bastard traitor that!” Some man spat out in the crowd. Dany watched as Jon’s hands tightened into white-knuckled fists.

Lady Stark stayed composed, but a hardness flickered into her eyes. “I understand your ire, my Lords. Northern independence is what my brother Robb, fought and died for. So many of your own family fought alongside him and sacrificed so much. But, I beg you to understand that our king has not betrayed us. He only wishes to unite our defenses against the Long Night. You have seen proof of what is out there, you know how fearsome it will be, and we cannot fight that alone.”

A young girl stood up imperiously. She could not have been more than one and ten, but she was seated among the lords. “With all due respect, Your Grace,” she nodded towards Jon Snow, “Alliances are a thing of war. Assistance from good rulers, can come without requiring deference.” The girl’s words were dripping with acid, and it was clear from how her black eyes fixated on Daenerys, who the words were meant for. The Lords around her murmured their agreement and more insults were hissed.

Fury surged deep within Daenerys. She would have burned them all if she could, but she restrained herself for Jon Snow’s sake.

Jon Snow spoke, addressing the younger Lady. “Lady Mormont, my decision has not been an easy one. But, again, as Sansa has stated, I have made this decision with the North’s well-being and needs at the forefront of my mind.”

The girl’s brow rose, impetuously. “Truly? I would say you acted contrary to our needs and desires. We proclaimed you, a bastard son, our King in the North. You have given that right away to a foreigner queen, when that right was not yours to begin with. Lady Stark has done excellently in your absence. If you do not want to be king, then she is our choice. Eddard Stark’s trueborn daughter shall rule us in your stead, not the Dragon Queen.” The Lords around her mutter their assent.

Daenerys stared stonily ahead at the Lords, wishing with all her might that Drogon would swoop down and cave in the rooftop. Their king had abdicated to her, and yet they ignore his wishes and instead defer to his sister!

Lady Stark sighed and sat back down, sharing a pointed look with Jon Snow. “I am flattered, Lady Mormont. But, we should not be squabbling about who wears a crown when there is a war to fight. I can think of no better person to lead us in the Long Night than Jon. He led us bravely to victory against the Bolton army and he will do once more with your support.”

“He cannot have our support, if he wishes to abdicate.” It was a gray-haired lord this time, with a trident embroidered on the front of his shirt. “The throne is empty, and we want you, Lady Stark, to sit on it.”

“Hear, hear!” The Lords called. There was a growing din, as the Lords grew emboldened by each other.

“You are the trueborn daughter of Eddard Stark. The right to the throne belongs to you and only you.” The gray-haired Lord knelt and suddenly, the entire room had followed suit. Cheers of ‘The Queen of the North’ filled the room with a deafening roar and Lady Stark looked on, wide-eyed in a daze.

Daenerys could not contain her rage. It was all an affront to her birthright. She twisted around to face Jon Snow, her violet eyes aflame, “Do something!” she hissed.

“I-I cannot.” He mumbled, scrubbing his beard in exasperation. “I told you, the Northern folk are stubborn, loyal to their own.” “It is best to accept their wishes for now, so as not to lose their favor.” Jon murmured. “We can re-negotiate once we are in private with Sansa.”

He is a perfect coward. Daario, Drogo, or even Jorah would have fought for her honor. They killed for her, and this man cannot even speak against his younger sister for her. Daenerys turned away, burning with resentment.

Xx

Her hand, Tyrion, is no better than Jon. She unleashes her fury at the Northern Lords upon him and is only met with a chagrined expression. “It was to be expected, I suppose.” He sips his wine.

“Expected?” Her voice raises a good octave. “This is not what should be happening. Their king has abdicated to me.”

“Jon warned you before he bent the knee, we knew this would not be easy. Especially given the tumultuous history between the Starks and the Targaryens. It is best to do as we have been doing. We cannot take the North, not now. The Lords are staunchly loyal to the Starks. We must wait until the end of the war. They will see you astride your dragon and how you fight to protect them. No house will be able to deny you your throne, then.”

“Or I could burn them all in their sleep.” She mutters under her breath. “They would rather have that Stark girl as their queen. She looks pretty in her furs, but what does she know about matters of war.”

Tyrion raises his eyebrows, “Sansa Stark is quite the clever girl. It’s no miracle she’s survived this long, I assure you.”

“Oh? Would you also rather have her as your queen?” Dany snaps.

“Your grace,” The imp replies in a measured tone. “I only meant to advise not to underestimate the Starks. The lone wolf died, but the pack survived. It would bode well for us not to make an enemy of the pack.”

Daenerys turns up her nose, “A dragon has no need for a couple of wolves.”

Tyrion simply takes another sip of his wine. His silence only serves to fuel her anger.

Xx

The next week, she receives a servant who brings a message from ‘Queen’ Sansa Stark who requests an audience with her in her solar.

She arrives, strategically dressed in one of her finer gowns, a deep plum silk that brings out the violet in her eyes. A silver dragon snakes around her neck and comes to rest at her collarbones. She will not cow in front of the Stark girl, she is Daenerys Targaryen, mother of dragons, breaker of chains.

“Your grace.” The Stark girl greets with an elegant, practiced curtsey. She is dressed in a black velvet gown embroidered with twin, silver wolves stitched into the waist. It isn’t as eye-catching as the gowns that Daenerys owns, but the Dragon Queen has to admit that this style suits her demure elegance.

Daenerys nods curtly. “Lady Stark.”

The serving girl notices Daenerys’s failure to address her queen properly and coughs nervously.

“Jeyne, please serve Queen Daenerys some wine.” Lady Stark instructs. The servant girl nods hurriedly, and rushes to do as told. Once she does, she scurries out of the room, leaving the two women alone. Daenerys studies Sansa Stark with a critical eye. This is her first time seeing Jon Snow’s half-sister up close. She is a pretty girl, there is no denying it, but there is a distinct hardness in her eyes, and a tiredness in the lines of her face.

“How are you finding Winterfell?”

Daenerys suppresses a snort. She despise small talk such as this, but she indulges the girl. “It is cold. I will be glad when this war is over, so I can return home to Dragonstone.” She says truthfully.

Lady Stark nods, pulling her auburn plait over her shoulder. “And what are your plans for your kingdom?”

She wonders what Lady Stark means to accomplish by asking such a foolish question. “I plan to unite the kingdoms, of course, including the North. This goal of mine has been no secret.”

“An idealistic goal.” Lady Stark replies. “Wouldn’t you say?” There’s a challenge there and Daenerys is damned if she backs down now.

“You don’t think it’s possible.” It’s not a question. Of course, the Stark girl could not understand. She had been sitting pretty in the North while her brother ventured out to seek the other rulers and hunt past the wall for wights. She did not understand the need for the unity of the kingdoms, she was a simple girl who only knew of the North.

Lady Stark’s lips thinned into a tight smile. “Jon may have told you this, but the Northerners are loyal to their own. Some of the Lords would sooner die than accept a Southern ruler. I don’t mean any disrespect when I say this, Your Grace, this is simply what history has shown.”

“Then the choice has already been made.” Daenerys snaps back. “I have done no wrong to them. If anything, I have showed the Lords and the common folk only kindness.”

Lady Stark raises a brow, “By giving them bread from Winterfell’s kitchens and handing them out as though you have brought them from Dragonstone, yourself?” She retorts.

Daenerys’s face goes aflame with embarrassment. “Your people are starving in this winter, I only meant to ease their suffering.”

Sansa sees right through the lie, and her face hardens. “Do not presume I am some silly girl, with no notions of politics. You meant to garner their support with resources meant for our brave soldiers.” She pauses sharply. “I respect, Your Grace, I do. You can have the Iron throne, but the North will be independent. If that changes after the war,” she shrugs, “Then so be it. I will be a queen for however long the North wishes for me to be their queen. For now, I am the Queen in the North, and you are my guest here.”

A heavy silence passes through the room, and the two queens eye each other, testily. Daenerys wishes she could throttle the Stark queen on the spot, to do so would be satisfactory beyond imagination. For now she settles for a saccharine smile, “You are right. Let the people decide. After the war, we will see who they wish to rule. The Queen who rode astride a dragon in battle for them, or the Queen who cowered behind these castle walls.”

A glint comes into the Stark queen’s eyes, and Daenerys imagines that the queen would throttle her too, if she could.

Xx

The preparations for battle are tiresome and Daenerys wants nothing more, after conversing at length with Tyrion and Ser Davos, than to find Jon Snow and have him take her to bed. They have not coupled since they have been at Winterfell, and her body aches for release.

Jon was strangely absent from this war meeting, although the Stark girl had named him Commander of the Northern army. The Northern lords predictably grumbled, but they could not deny his great fighting prowess and a dark look from Sansa Stark shut up any Lord that dared to mutter ‘bastard’ in her presence.

She comes to the door of his chambers, and raises a hand to knock, only to notice that the door is slightly ajar. Without thinking, she peers in to see if Jon is in the room, and is taken aback when she sees long, auburn hair instead.

Sansa Stark.

From the opening, she can just make out the Stark girl, sitting at the desk, shuffling through paperwork. She looks different, more casual than the regal, elegant queen at court. There are no heavy furs bearing down on her shoulder, and she wears a simple gray gown with her hair pulled out of its usual braid and fanned about her shoulders.

“Is Arya still training in the courtyard with Brienne?”

Daenerys jumps a bit when she hears Jon’s voice. He moves into her sight now, standing just a couple feet from his sister, pacing around the room in his heavy furs.

“Most likely.” The Stark girl replies. “She wants to fight alongside the soldiers, you know”

“Arya must stay here at Winterfell.” Jon’s voice is firm. “She must stay to protect you.”

“She will do what she wishes.” Sansa replies, simply. “You are not her king, you do not command her.”

There is nothing but silence for a few beats, and Dany watches as Sansa Stark coolly continues to attend to her paperwork, while Jon Snow can do nothing but rub his face in exasperation.

“I thought we were past this.” Jon Snow says, sullenly.

“Past what?” The Stark girl gives an un-ladylike snort. “Past you giving up our home to a foreign queen?” She continues filing through papers, as though she could not care less about this conversation.

“What I did, I did-“

“-In the North’s best interests.” She fills in, with a drawl to her tone. “I know, Jon, remember? I recited those exact words in front of our Lords, myself. I defended you as you wished me to.”

“And for that I am grateful.” He places a hand on her shoulder, and Lady Stark ceases her paperwork, to stare stonily ahead, though she does not move his hand away. Daenerys considers pulling away from the door, to leave the two siblings to their argument, but she finds herself glued to the frame, wondering with bated breath what will happen next. She has never seen the two Stark siblings together like this. In court, they are often seated together, but they hardly converse with one another, if only to interject about a certain war strategy or an issue of castle matters. They keep their distance, so it is a surprise to see the two of them together in Jon’s chambers. She wonders at the back of her mind, if they have met like this, often.

Jon continues, “I know you are cross with me. But, you are still my family, and despite everything, you have stayed with me.” His eyes lower sadly, “I have tried to reconcile with Arya, but it has been difficult.”

Lady Stark turns in her seat to look up at him and sigh, “Arya has told me, she doesn’t wish to see you, not just yet.” Jon flinches and she reaches for his hand. “I don’t say that to hurt you, Jon. I only am saying this so you know. She idolized you, adored you, and to see you come home with Daenerys Targaryen has shattered her expectations of a home where we can all be together as Starks. Although she’s been scarred, and changed so much, a part of her still wishes for that happy ending.”

“And what about you?” Jon murmurs, quietly. Daenerys strains harder to hear his next words. “What do you wish for?

“I don’t wish for much anymore.” There is a sad, mournfulness, to Lady Stark’s voice that breaks Daenerys’s heart just a bit. “I find the Gods have a dangerous way of interpreting our wishes.”

“But if the Gods were kind and generous, what would you wish for?” Jon presses, insistently.

Sansa Stark is silent before she replies, “I wish for happiness with you, Bran, and Arya. I want us to remain in Winterfell until we are old and graying, ruling over a prosperous kingdom. I wish there was no Cersei Lannister, no Dragon Queen, and no Night King.” Her voice lowers, and then she adds fiercely. “I wish they’d all fade away.”

Daenerys realizes now, that she will never be able to fully understand the Starks. Their house is built on something more than ambition and power. It is built on their love for each other, a foreign concept, as she will never know that same fierce loyalty. All she had was the weak-willed, and cowardly Viserys.

She nearly misses Jon’s reply, it comes softly, but she catches his low whisper. “I wish that too.” He sweetly presses a kiss atop her head. The guilt comes now, as she realizes what an intimate moment she has stumbled upon. That moment was only meant to be shared between the two siblings, and she has intruded on it enough.

Quietly, she moves away from the door, and heads off into the dark hallway, her retreating steps illuminated by the flickering torches.

[computerguideworld-blog]

How Game Of Thrones Ends Based On Computer Simulations

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How Game Of Thrones Ends Based On Computer Simulations

We love Game Of Thrones, but it’s not without its flaws. So we ran a 100-percent accurate simulation to see how the story would have played out if the characters didn’t spend half their time sleeping around, torturing each other, and talking about their feelings. The highly advanced technology we used was Nintendo’s Advance Wars: Dual Strike, a 2005 video game about anime characters fighting with tanks.

No gratuitous boobs in this, but we’re sure somebody on the internet has fixed that by now.

We created a map, let the game’s artificial intelligence run amok, and watched as years of rambling storytelling were ruthlessly condensed into 38 minutes of all-out warfare. We also got drunk, watched porn, and grew beards, for maximum authenticity.

So here’s Westeros, which most of you know better than your own country:

And here’s our perfect 1:1 recreation:

*Play for full effect*

The Starks and their allies are red, the White Walkers are blue, and the Lannister-Tyrell alliance is green. Dorne and the Freys’ Twins start off neutral, while Stannis is cut because being overlooked is his lot in life. The Iron Islands are represented on the side, but the Greyjoys aren’t, because the only thing they’ve achieved in five seasons is one very uncomfortable fingering scene, and that can’t be recreated on a Nintendo console until Bayonetta 3 is released.

Across the ocean is Essos, where Daenerys (yellow) has spent five years yelling about slaves while acting entirely with her impressive eyebrows. Here’s her part of the world:

Mother of dragons, first of her name, breaker of chains, protector of pixels.

Now we need to create the Advanced Wars equivalent of 20,000 bearded men who want to kill each other. Game Of Thrones has more political factions than most real countries: Starks, Lannisters, Baratheons, Tyrells, Martells, the Night’s Watch, white walkers, wildlings, the Targaryens, the dozens of interchangeable one-dimensional villains Daenerys has butchered, rogue actors like Littlefinger, that kid who’s way too old to be breastfeeding, and on and on and on. But because most of them are ultimately irrelevant — just like in real life — so we’re chopping this story down to the essentials. First up are the Starks, whose 18,000 men were mostly peasants with pointy objects. So assuming each unit represents 2,000 men, here’s what Robb’s forces look like:

“Nine’s more than enough to invite to a wedding, right?”

The thing that looks like a duck with wheels represents his mounted units, while the soldiers carrying poster rolls / RPG launchers are his knights. And just to his north is a horde of white walkers, which we’ll assume have overrun the wildlings. As for Team Lannister, they start with 20,000 well-trained and equipped soldiers, as well as a small navy …

… while Daenerys has 8,000 Unsullied, 2,000 mercenaries, other miscellaneous soldiers, and three dragons represented by stealth bombers. See, our high-end simulation technology is flawless.

Right down to the dragons’ baffling decision to not simply eat every fleshy human and rule the planet their damn selves.

Snow falls as the war begins, and the very first thing the Starks do is march 2,000 men north to Castle Black and kill 1,000 white walkers.

“You know murder, Jon Snow.”

Fuck. Yes. The walkers were teased from the very first scene of the very first episode, only for 47 more hours to pass before Jon killed a single one. But there are no stories about incest and long shots of people walking endlessly through the wilderness here. The Starks get down to business, taking the walker threat seriously and acknowledging that having the realm’s only line of defense against a terrifying supernatural horde be a collection of poorly-trained rapists isn’t a great idea. While Jon immediately starts the war we’ve been waiting for since episode one, Robb marches the rest of his troops toward the Twins.

It’s amazing the progress you can make in a war when you don’t wait for all your soldiers to die first.

In the show, the Lannisters dealt with their enemies mostly via political machinations and cunning plots. But our Lannister AI said to hell with all that. They also march on the Twins, as well as sending Jaime and Bronn with 4,000 men to take Dorne by force …

… and two assassins equipped with wildfire (represented by remote bombs) straight at the heart of Dany’s forces.

Where, in keeping with the law of the land, they stop and wait while other people do shit.

Dany, meanwhile, sends one team to take Qarth while the rest of her troops march on Meereen, condensing four seasons of wandering and whining into one bold move.

Fire cannot kill a dragon, but boredom can.

So to recap, after a single day of combat, Jon is in charge of the Night’s Watch and leading the battle against the walkers (which, on the show, happened in season five), Robb is at the Twins (season two), Dany’s taking Qarth (season two) and Meereen (seasons three through five), while the Lannisters and Tyrells are actively engaging both of them with actual military tactics (season hasn’t-happened-yet). But while our simulation is cutting the show’s fat, it retains its flair for sudden and dramatic deaths. Sorry, Kit Harington groupies, but the light goes out of Jon’s beautiful doe eyes on Day Two.

“For the article.”

He exploded, and then his corpse vanished, so there’s no convenient resurrection or Jesus metaphors for him. But he takes thousands of walkers with him, and it fulfills something Jon predicted in the show — that the Night’s Watch could survive one night of attacks, but not two. Things go better for the Starks south of the Wall, as Robb, free from the sexy distractions of Charlie Chaplin’s granddaughter, begins his conquest of the Twins.

Amazing what you can get done when you keep your Little Tramp all zipped up.

No sooner do the Starks lay claim than the Lannisters massacre 2,000 of them in a single gruesome day. In no dimension is holing up with Walder Frey a good move.

“The Lannisters send their fuck yous.”

Meanwhile, their wildfire-armed assassins bring Dany’s dragons to the brink of death, and they wipe out three-quarters of her Unsullied in the process — a tactic that is shockingly more effective than one glass of bad wine and Jorah Mormont’s fickle boner.

The Unsullied’s nonexistent boners were simply no match.

Dany responds by merging her dragons into one three-headed terror with some horrible arcane magic and then, ugh, retreating to Meereen and Qarth to rebuild / sit around and grimace. So just like in the show, we get one awesome dragon moment, followed by a whole lot of nothing.

With pixels, it was too hard to tell if she shit herself this time.

On the third day of conflict, the Lannisters and the Starks start their epic battle …

… while the white walkers seize Castle Black. We’re three episodes into the Nintendo DS version of Game Of Thrones, and while there are no tits (a feature we are supplementing by browsing “Busty Asian Beauties” while the simulation runs), everything else is way more awesome.

Aside from Joffrey still running amok instead of choking on poison and vomit.

On the following day, Daenerys flies her hydra-dragon over Dorne, an important world event the Starks and Lannisters completely fail to take note of because they’re too busy massacring each other.

Had the real Daenerys thought of this, George R. R. Martin could’ve moved on to not finishing a whole other series years ago.

Jaime and Bronn’s troops capture Dorne by standing on it, which is slightly more realistic than the fights they got into there in the show:

“First take, nailed it. Cut!”

The Starks are forced to give up ground at the Twins to hold the Wall …

… while Dany’s King Ghidorah kills 200 of Jaime and Bronn’s men.

You make Jaime fight without Brienne constantly saving his ass, and look what happens.

Despite all the awesome action happening elsewhere — a three-headed dragon attacks a city held by two fan favorites — the camera decides to focus on Meereen, where absolutely nothing occurs. Huh, it’s weird that season five’s storylines play out exactly the same in both versions. It’s a great tactic, though — Dany announces her intimidating presence to Westeros with an attack on the one stronghold that resisted her distant ancestors. That will get her more support than five years of sitting around and grumbling ever could.

Over the next few days, the Starks hold Castle Black but lose the Twins to the superior numbers and resources of the Lannisters, Dany expands her holdings in the East, and Jaime and Bronn flee Dany’s dragon, which moves on to harassing Highgarden. The Starks are confined to the North, but there’s a glimmer of hope — the Lannisters land 4,000 men at the Wall, in an apparent sign that they’re willing to put aside their differences and battle the Walker horde …

… Kidding! The Lannisters immediately attack the Starks, right in front of the horde of ice monsters that want to kill them all and rule their corpses. Which is absolutely what a bitter, vengeful, and drunk Cersei would do. For her, it’s better to see the world destroyed than to see her enemies succeed. And all their attack does is benefit the walkers, as there are now even fewer good men standing between them and civilization.

If you can’t trust an incestuous, murdering wino, who can you trust?

With that incredibly destructive act, everyone in the Seven Kingdoms must be cheering for Daenerys’ dragon to slay the short-sighted Lannisters and save Westeros. So it’s a bit anti-climactic when the exhausted dragon runs out of energy, crashes, and dies. Maybe don’t take your storytelling cues from this particular event, George.

The dragon is exactly how Martin feels after writing more than ten words a day.

Still, Daenerys soldiers on, taking most of Essos with good old-fashioned soldiers alone.

No Unsullied victory teabaggings, cause, you know …

The Starks and the Watch successfully repel the Lannisters in the North, while in the South, Moat Cailin continues to hold out remarkably well (just like in the show). But their numbers are depleted, which means …

… the white walkers are south of the wall for the first time in 8,000 years, and we’re still in season one. The Lannisters are able to occupy Winterfell, the seat of their most hated enemy, but it’s a Pyrrhic victory. The walkers soon push them out and seize the North, and with the new resources available to them, they start fielding tanks. We shall assume these tanks are undead. Thanks a lot, Cersei.

Shame! Shame! Shame!

Arya may have escaped and Sansa is probably being sexually assaulted somewhere, but otherwise, the Starks are dead. The last hurrah by the North is a screaming kamikaze attack on the walkers led by Ramsay Bolton — an oddly heroic yet sufficiently crazy way for the show’s most hated character to make his exit. The Lannisters and walkers begin fighting, while Dany builds boats, lands her vanguard, and finds the southern half of Westeros almost completely undefended.

Everyone was distracted while mourning the tragic death of the guy who castrated dudes and raped girls.

She immediately marches on King’s Landing and defeats the remainder of Jaime and Bronn’s weary soldiers.

Sisters and prostitutes everywhere are inconsolable.

Jaime dies in the city he saved, at the hands of the daughter of the madman he saved it from. It’s a dramatically satisfying conclusion to his character, and it begins the great Targaryen-Lannister-Frost-Monster War. The Lannisters are able to rally their troops and defend King’s Landing, but at too much of a cost. The white walkers march to the Twins and start slaughtering them. It’s unclear if the dying soldiers are able to grasp the narrative irony and thematic significance of being massacred there.

“The Braaaaains Of Castamere.”

Dany lands additional troops and makes another attempt at King’s Landing, and the Lannisters are unable to fight off her naval assault — as they did Stannis’ on the show — because they blew their wildfire on their assassination attempt. On Day 22 of the conflict, Daenerys captures King’s Landing:

With the Mother of Ghidorah on the Iron Throne, the Lannister and Tyrell armies disband and their cities declare their loyalty to the new Queen. At this point, the walkers have overrun the North, but Daenerys has the heartland of Westeros and the combined might of Essos behind her. It’s numbers versus resources, with the only question being how efficiently those resources will be used. So it’s the fight the show has been hinting at for years, reached in under half an hour of simulation time.

The “Previously On Game Of Thrones” intro will be nothing but an ad for the one-disc complete series DVD.

To avoid being overrun, Dany immediately retreats to build her forces and otherwise sit around doing nothing, because while you can take the queen out of the shitty plotline, you can’t take the shitty plotline out of the queen. But Daenerys’ decision also highlights her ruthless side: She lets King’s Landing fall to the white walkers, the entire capital city slaughtered and zombified merely so she can rally her troops.

We’re starting to think she might hold a grudge.

But it works. The Queen gets her army, lines it up along the banks of the Trident — where the Targaryen dynasty fell in the first place after Daenerys’ older brother died in battle — and now she’s either going to restore her family’s name or doom the land to a reign of endless darkness.

Or spend three more seasons sitting around debating which is better.

It’s the final epic struggle, with every character who’s survived to this point putting aside their differences to battle a supernatural threat to their very species. Turns out they don’t need a dragon at their backs, because the true dragon … is teamwork.

The battle takes almost as long as the rest of the war combined, but Daenerys does it. They retake King’s Landing. Fictional humanity is saved!

“It’s Queen’s Landing now. Any objections? No, didn’t think so.”

From there, she drives the white walkers back beyond the Wall, then marches into the far North and topples their frozen stronghold. The Seven Kingdoms are reunited, and their greatest threat is destroyed.

Her traditional warrior garb of a red ball cap, power suit, and half-undershirt struck mortal fear into her enemies.

Oh, and Bran got eaten by zombies at the start of all this, because no one cares about him.

The end!

So there you have it. The dragons are a paper tiger, and Dany will become Queen not through their power, but by giving Westeros what it’s lacked for so long: a ruler willing to unite people against true evil. Jon will give his life fighting the white walkers. Jaime will die trying to redeem himself in the eyes of the people he loves. The Lannisters, in their arrogance, will fail to learn from the mistakes of the Starks. History repeats itself, as the final battle occurs on the same ground where this conflict began years ago. And, most importantly, a decade-old Nintendo game can tell an epic story more efficiently than a big-budget HBO series.

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