#ev rants lbr

[faofinn]

So I (Ev) have this thing that whenever we have Sicktember or Whumptober or literally any writing challenge, I end up in hospital. I've been here since Friday and Sicktember is fast approaching, whumptober prompts have just been released, and I'm staring at the same four walls going mad with zero inspo.

I feel sorry for Shiv, my long suffering partner, and partner in crime. Nothing ever changes, and it's not disappointed (in terms of consistency, I'm very disappointed in my health) us in the four years we've known each other.

Maybe next year, my body will understand that just because the boys get whumped, I don't need to be too.

...i doubt it...

[bastardsunlight]

//Howdy folks! How’s your dashboard treatin’ ya today? I just wanted to lay a couple of things out for anyone who might be wonderin’ what I’m about.  

[[MORE]]

If we’re mutuals, I trust that you’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a pretty straight up person—you know, fairly honest, open, and maybe even a wee bit pleasant to interact with/see on your dashboard. In general, I do me best to keep as much negativity as possible OFF ye olde dashboard of this blog. I have been pretty transparent about the sideblogs I keep, @reasonable-assholery is the rant blog so I don’t spew vitriol unnecessarily upon aforementioned dash, @puttingfingerstokeys is my throwaway writing blog for ficlets and ideas (99% Mortal Kombat right now; you’ve been warned), and @thunderdilf which is a great URL and I really kind of just wanted but it has also accidentally turned into a Mortal Kombat/Raiden(Rayden mostly lbr) shitposting blog for my enjoyment (and yours, if you’re into that).

This is the ONLY blog I own. Those are side blogs, yes, but THIS, bastardsunlight is my ONLY blog. I used to have a few RP blogs (no more than five at one time iirc, but the PURGE helped me pare shit down—idk HOW this one dodged that nonsense but I’m grateful that it did). As far as I am aware, none of those blogs are even active anymore. If they are, I do not have the login info which ofc is why they’re still around. E.g. I haven’t been ABLE to delete them. Hopefully tumblr has cleaned that shit up if it does exist.

I also do not LIVE on tumblr. I’ve been more active lately, ayuh, but I’m like… employed and shit. I got stuff to do. I click well with people who are similar. I’m only peripherally aware of fandom drama and shit like that and I really only see it when it crosses me dash via one of the few buddies I retain/have gained from/since the olden days. Ye olden days. I digress… My point is this:

If you hear salacious rumors about me, I encourage you, my sweet followers, to look into it yourself. Scroll my whole-ass blog! I don’t really eve have a TBD tag so if it’s there, it’s always been there and I ain’t getting rid of it ‘cause I’m queen “I SAID WHAT I SAID”. You could also question me directly, or ask one of my friends. ANY one of my mutual buddies will speak to you about me. If they’re not a mutual, we ain’t friends, so there’s no point in taking the word of someone who isn’t a mutual, see? So yeah, maybe that IS a bit biased, but why WOULDN’T I surround meself with friends? I don’t like toadies, sycophants, lackeys, or anyone who’d support a mob mentality type situation if I decided to go postal on someone for disagreeing with me. I want someone who will sit my ass down and say “yo Stiles you’re acting like a psycho; stop letting whomever-it-is live in ya head rent free; that shit is NOT healthy”.

Be wary of people who come NOT bearing screenshots (be wary of those who do and LEAD with that ‘cause man ain’t nobody telling MY ass with whom to interact?? Fo REAL?). Follow your gut. Protect yourself. And should you decide that yes, the mun of bastardsunlight is problematique (recall I have never claimed to be otherwise and I wear that particular mantle with pride), please, I ENCOURAGE you to block me. I implore you to, again, protect yourself, curate your online experience. I make no secret of what happens on this blog. It’s in my rules and FAQ, might even be a PSA post (tagged accordingly). I’ll even tell you if you inbox me! I am not hiding SHIT. I’m here to have a good time with what little freedom I have between work and my other responsibilities. If you are too, we’ll get along just fine.

[antirealisation]

11 Question Ask Meme

I guess I was tagged by @karlacton​? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

1. What is your favourite kind of imagery/metaphor?

Fire. This is boring and predictable but like, lol, in my defence there’s a lot you can do with fire.

2. Is there a topic (or anything in particular) that you could talk about seemingly forever? If so, what?

BEST WORST SURVIVOR JAMES FUCKING LOWRY, APPARENTLY?

I think I’ve gotten to the point where I have enough to say about trauma/dissociation research, and more importantly, the ability to completely change my mind and argue against my past self, that I could do that forever, lmao. (Like, “Levine’s Somatic Experiencing is based on some weird assumptions that people seem to accept because they ‘feel right’, but also it’s legitimately helping people and it’s not like the rest of psychiatry isn’t based on some weirdass assumptions too, but also fuck “trauma is only about the body,” but also maybe there is an extent to which that’s an all-around better model than what we have now??”)

3. Are you a creative person? If so, through what medium do you express this?

Hahah, I’d like to think so? I think it’s been writing mostly, lately -- sorta alternate between writing poetry and drawing as the Main Two Things. 

Our Google Keep is full of all sorts of poems that I don’t really care to post. I should probably find a better way to organise those.

4. Are there any books that you currently want to read or movies/shows that you would like to watch? If so, what?

I keep thinking about Killing Eve (especially since we literally just saw on ad for it -- on twitch?) Watching a TV show feels like such a huge investment, though, doesn’t it?

We’re also gonna read more VanderMeer things. :V

5. Do you believe in fate, or in signs? To what extent?

Haha, ask again later? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think half this dang blog is a deliberation on that, lmfao. 

6. What relationship dynamic/trope do you keep coming back to, again and again?

Heck.

Owner/Owned seems to be The Main One, especially where that relation (possession, if you want to play with the semantic slippage between ghostly possession and ownership, which of course you do) is leading to some sort of massive rearrangement of values, morals, priorities in -- I was gonna say the Owned one but lbr I like mutually destructive obsession spirals from both parties.

Actually, you could probably also say “mutually destructive obsession spirals” is its own thing, since it can happen without the power dynamic, lmao. Every so often, it’s just a “cry about the Alpha Couple” sort of night, you know?

7. Are you currently working on any projects? How is it coming, and what inspires you while you’re working on it?

Not reaaallyyy. Unless “Control and Lowry completely falling apart in Area X AU” becomes a goddamn project. I have lost control of my life.

There’s always the weird level where, like, okay there’s only so much time/effort I’m allowed to have for my own projects, sharing a body and all. But I also think that’s probably just an excuse.

8. What is your favourite poem and what do you think it’s about?

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost (And miles to go before I sleep)

I’m. Not even sure what I really think it’s about? It reminds me of Traveling/Wandering.

(Ace is pointing out that I get really into songs largely for the meaning in their lyrics, but then my favourite poem is just one I like on a more aesthetic/formal/sound sort of level, however you want to put it. lol)

9. Apart from the name(s) that you currently use, what would you like to be called?

I can’t think of anything? I don’t particularly avoid telling people what they should call me, and you all know the main names I use here (Serpent, Soldrin, Tristan), lol.

10. What discourse is currently raging through your community of choice, and do you care to weigh in with your opinions?

SHIPPING.

We’ve kept well away from syscourse lately, lmfao, but shipping discourse finds its way through all sorts of communities, doesn’t it? Admittedly we do also follow freedom-of-fanfic and shipcourse on twitter, so we, especially I, do seek it out a bit sometimes. But like, even our dash sometimes contains jokey posts that also sorta point to some anti-shipping, anti-kink background (as in, literally one just now), and that’s more frustrating than just knowing there’s some self-contained population that want to cover their ears to your existence.

Goddamn, I’m not gonna do some sort of massive takedown or rant, tucked into some ask meme isn’t the place for it, but considering that I said earlier that my fave dynamics are literal ownership, guess what side of “problematic” my ships tend to fall.

I joke that, if anyone is allowed to complain about Bad Shipping, it’d be the fictives that introject from them -- in which case, I also still get to complain and say that shipping awful things is okay, lmfao.

11. What things do you personally associate with your general aesthetic/~*Image*~/etc.?

Uhh I try to reblog most things that feel ~aesthetique~ to me. Fire, canines, nature paths, sunsets, red. Certain sorts of angel symbolism, ouroboros.

You know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ofphcenixes]

howdy y’all !! it is currently new years eve here in australia, and what have i decided to do instead of Being Social and Party Like It’s 1999 ? come off hiatus dkjfgdf. because of a horridly busy and Emo™ time that had me out of action for like, two whole weeks kfjgdfg i’ve decided i’m gonna do a quick recap intro with some wanted connections for both BLUE & NATE so if we haven’t plotted yet, hopefully it’ll be a bit easier !! 

if we’ve plotted before or you dislike me on account of my colour alias or my preference in cheese, please feel free to ignore this !! but i look forward to plotting with all of you properly now that i can be around, so please like this post if you wanna plot. <3 also i owe so many people discord responses dfkjgdf. and pls know i’ve been meaning to reply to those, but i’ve felt so Anxious about leaving some people on read and replying to others that I wanted to do them all at the same time. a foolish choice ? you decide ! ( however i am working on discord messages tonight also ). but read below for Quik Fax on my bois !

BLUE HAWTHORNE. 

about.

link to original intro HERE.

blue’s bio, stats and hcs are HERE.

blue’s connections HERE.

despite what my intro says ( which i v much recommend you read just for a lil more breadth of blue as a muse ) he is,,, a memey boi

don’t mistake his dislike of daisey as an overall representation of him as a person - he’s usually v kind, probably a bit of an enabler lmao and will do anything to see people smile. gotta get that validation.

he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed ( me: has allstar flashbacks ) BUT his slow uptake is counterbalanced by his usually well enlightened humour and genuine concern for others

he’s that bish that plays football and hosts the parties tbh !! 

definitely the class clown. does not have nearly as much game in the Dating World as he thinks, if he could spend two seconds without showing memes. but if memes are your kink, well, blue may be your soulmate lbr

has a bit of a Troubled Past

honestly ?? is trying to move on from the past. he only wants good moments, good friends, good memories in his life. he’s got no time for the negative. ( until daisey had to go and fUCKING DIE )

still owns a tamogotchi

wanted plots.

SPLASH || it’s the middle of winter, and you find yourself at the local pool. the indoor heated pool is probably great this time of year, and blue happens to be the lifeguard at the time. could do a funny thread, a cute thread, a dramatic/emo thread, or really anything !! i’d just love to be able to have the backdrop be blue at his Place of Employment.

STAY THE NIGHT || a common occurrence at st ettiene university is for blue and his roommates to open up their house in the student villa for some fun. especially with the curfew in place, these parties would be more rare and blue never shies away from a challenge. a fun thread perhaps where your muse is drunk. maybe blue takes care of them, maybe tries to take them home safely. maybe they just have a serendipitous Bond over beer and the roar of music. maybe they decide to try and bake and everything goes wrong gkdjfgdkf

INVINCIBLE || it may be clear to you now that blue is basically,,, one big kid. and as st etienne is known for their sprawling forests, it’s a popular place for jogging, picnics, cute rendezvous and well, now a murder lmfao, it’s a scary place to be. do you know what would make it less scary tho ??? a pet. more specifically, a dog. your muse catches blue with the pupper and. an unlikely friendship ( perhaps joint custody ?? ) of a dog omg. we stan rebels in this house.

CHILDLIKE || this one is super lame BUT blue never had much of a childhood in the traditional sense so i’d absolutely LOVE for a cute thread with someone where they do cute childish things ?? play hide and seek, build a tree fort, play with a playstation, eat really old snacks. anything. 

wanted connections.

HISTORY||blue was mixed up in a lot of things as a teenager - petty crime, substance, you name it. this person would have been in this 'group’ with blue also (anywhere from ages 13-19). maybe that person is still very much in that crowd and resents blue for leaving, or maybe they’ve left it behind too.  

TUTOR || oh my GOD blue is destined to fail here. he has a very short attention span, which makes him super frustrated bc he loves what he’s doing. he is going to be a teacher, and it’s only the maths/science that is tripping him up. any person who would help him would earn his eternal gratitude.

FORMER BULLY||this muse grew up in ashmont also, and bullied blue as a child. maybe they’ve reverted their ways and want to be forgiven, or maybe they’ve doubled down on the hate and now see blue for the fake he is.

SIN || blue has cleaned up his act. as a teen he was living a very dangerous lifestyle, and has for the most part, turned it all around. but maybe... maybe there’s someone out there who’s slowly luring blue back to this darkness he misses. their friendship is a secret, they meet in the cloak of darkness ( so blue’s friends are none the wiser he’s headed this way again ), and they simply drink and smoke and other things... >:)

NATHANIEL BALLANTYNE. 

about.

link to original intro HERE

because i applied for nate then literally skedaddled for ages, he hasn’t had time to develop on the dash. however,,,, he is not a Good Bean. in fact i actually kinda hate him in a fun way.

pretentious, wealthy, slightly germophobic, wickedly intelligent, wicked in general, and incredibly conceited

although he is Handsome, he cares more about his image as a modicum of academia as opposed to looking hot. he probably would be considered more attractive if he didn’t have such an extensive collection of suit squares kjgfhdkjfd

was super close with daisey. their parents had sort of pined for the pair to get married actually, for monetary reasons. but nate ?? v much team daisey. he doesn’t show emotions and he won’t admit it to ANYONE, but ,,, he’s super emo about her having been found. 

is both chidi and trevor from the good place

but ye he is gonna yell at you and wanna fite ( but not physically cos slenderman here has noodle arms )

wanted plots.

DINNER PARTY || given that there are a lot of rich socialite families here, i figure that nate’s family is bound to know a few of the other wealthy families !! a fun lil thread we could possibly do is have the pair run into each other at one of these galas. maybe it’s a run-of-the-mill affair, maybe it’s something run by the rutherfords that these two happen to both be attending, maybe it’s run through the university. maybe it’s a charity gala. maybe it’s a new years’ eve event. either way, nate is dressed up in his nicest tux and his most expensive watch, your muse is also dressed up nicely, and we can plot depending on the chemistry/connection/relation between our muses what happens ! they could be friendly somewhat, maybe they hate each other, maybe they’re childhood friends. let’s discuss. >:)

GRIEVE || nate doesn’t do ‘emotion’. he doesn’t do sympathy, empathy, or anything reminiscent to being human. but one day he finds himself at daisey’s grave and is absolutely lost for words - a rarity. and it just so happens your muse is also there too. they could have been there to visit daisey, or maybe someone else. but this could be a v interesting thread and you’ll see a side of nate that... no one should ever see kdfjgdf. 

STARS ABOVE || as a major of astrophysics and heading towards his phd, nate loves the stars. it’s probably the only positive emotion he has kjgfdkjgdf. so i dont know HOW this would work, but perhaps nate and someone else look for the stars together. nate has a whole professional set up and is like,,, a total nerd so he’s not fooled by the mysticism or, admittedly, the romance of it. maybe your character is high and happens upon him at night, maybe your muse thinks that nate is the killer ( lmao ) and wants to investigate, maybe your muse is a fellow chess/debate/environmental conversation member and wants to get to know this billy goat gruff. 

wanted connections. 

FOR BETTER OR WORSE || nate is a perfect person to fulfill everyone’s favourite trope of ‘the good person wanting their love to transform the bad person into a good person’. maybe it’s platonic, maybe it’s romantic, but someone wants  to make nate a better man. what i say to them - good luck lmfao. however i’d love to plot this out as it could go literally anyway !!

ENEMIES || fuck, i need nate to have all the enemy connections. i figure most people will dislike him on principle anyway bc he’s human rubbish kgjkdf BUT maybe they are academic rivals ? maybe they grew up together and have always been competing ? maybe they used to be friends and they fell out ? maybe nate said something horrible to them and they were never forgiven ? maybe their true enemy was daisey and since nate was essentially her best friend for a bit, they are enemies by consequence ? 

HATESHIP || i can’t decide what i want more kdjfgdkf but basically ??? this friendship is of two people who don’t like each other, but they hate literally everyone else so they join together in their mutual hatred. maybe they actually bond more over time, maybe their somewhat petty rant sessions about everyone else never change. either way, it would be super fun to have nate be in a 70 year old woman dynamic with someone dkfjgd. 

these ideas are certainly not definitive, but can be a fun jumping point or perhaps just a source for discussion !! if we haven’t plotted before now is the best time to do so. so if literally any of this you think will work with your muse, or you have an idea inspired by something mentioned here, i promise you, i’m up for pretty much anything ( SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO MY BEST FRIEND ANGST ). pls like this post if you wanna plot, and i look forward to spamming you all and be lucky enough to interact with all your muses. <3

also sorry i deadass disappeared for a fortnight lmfao