#ethan wuz here

[ethanryanpunal]

CUDDER

[sonnetthebard]

Presenting: Some Top Moments From The Hatchetfield Murder Mystery

About two weeks ago (maybe three?) I took part in a Hatchetfield Murder Mystery. We did two rounds over the course of two days, and let me just say it was nothing short of iconic. One round McNamara was the murderer, one round Alice, Hidgens and Donna were the murderers and went with a Gossip Girl motif where they left notes exposing the person they had killed’s darkest secrets. I played Hidgens, and I’ve never had more fun. To preface, ghosts of the murdered can still communicate by talking but we can’t actually see what they’re doing. They can also possess people. Without further adieu... moments I now consider to be part of a very special Hatchetfield canon.

The ghosts possessing everyone to make the say “Ted Spankoffski is hot!”

Jenny, a ghost, after Ted has literally just been killed: Guys, he’s trying to ghost fuck me!

Lucy: *enters room with Alice and Hidgens (killers for that round)* Hidgens: Lucy... I know you probably think this is me... and you’re absolutely right. *shoots Lucy* Lucy: Wait wait wait ALICE TOO??? Alice: Yup...

Hidgens reading ‘xoxo Gossip Girl’ at the end of the note once he’d backstabbed Donna and revealed his masterplan to inspire his and Alice’s next great play. 

McNamara as a murderer: *hears everyone sus of Hidgens* Yes.. I was actually sent here to investigate Professor Hidgens and his potential collaboration with eldritch forces. Hidgens: *blinks* What now?

Lucy: *is alone in a room with Hidgens (not the killer)*  Hidgens: Lucy Stockworth... of the Stockworth fortune? Lucy: Yes.  Hidgens: We’ve actually met! I don’t know if you- Lucy: Oh, I remember. Hidgens: ... I was sort of hoping you wouldn’t.  Lucy: You murdered my fiance! Hidgens: So still no funding? Lucy: No!

Everyone except Hidgens collectively groaning at the Working Boys trailer. 

Hidgens: Don’t think I don’t know what you did Ethan: What? Hidgens: You think it’s funny making a joke out of the kooky old professor, don’t you? You TP and egged my house! Ethan: No way, man! Lex: Ethan would never let you know it was him if he’d done it.  Hannah: Yeah! He’s a genius! Hidgens: That’s why “Ethan Green wuz here” was written on the toilet paper Lex: *groaning* Babe... Ethan: I was proud of my work.

Hidgens calling Ethan a delinquent. 

Every Gossip Girl letter, but especially Donna’s

Dan and Donna dying and Hidgens immediately wanting their jobs- and their ghosts supporting him. 

Mark being a smelly (dead) weatherman

Hidgens randomly having a gun just to be sus. 

Donna: Wow Dan... burn. *lights Dan on fire*

Everyone meeting in a closed Beanies for literally no reason

Ted killing McNamara and becoming the sole survivor of the first MM. 

Everything. This entire MM was so iconic.

[portraitsofivy]

Youth Christmas party tonight

• was claimed by my friend David (he wrote DAVID'S in big blue marker on the back of my neck)

• friend Ben wrote 'Sancho' on one half of David's neck I and finished with 'wuz here'

• got jumpscared by my friend and possible crush Kyle

• almost got judo-flipped by Kyle

• insinuated that Kyle finds me attractive

• drew a heart on the back of David's neck,

• wrote NERD on his inner forearm, and a random dot on his cheek

• drew this:

• saw my friends get shoved in a dude's General Lee's trunk

• was betrayed by David

•(he asked me to help him put up a dish and then while I was making room on a shelf and then he walked away and I thought he left so I was yelling after him to see if I needed to turn off the light when Kyle jumped out of the darkness and I screamed bc that is the hardest I have ever been jumpscared in my life and then they both ran off laughing into the darkness and I turned on my flashlight to hunt them down to say goodbye bc my dad was telling me we had to leave and David fell over a pipe and Kyle tried to scare me again twice)

• my friend Ethan stole the chocolate orange i won (which is AMAZING and I highly recommend them to everyone) and I chased him around the church

• my sister Mercy grabbed his pants and he dragged her into two chairs before he stopped

• beat David and Ethan almost singlehandedly in a game of Family Fued

��� put pantyhose on my head that had a ball in the end and tried to knock over cans with it

• got called gay by a 12 yr. old bc I said that I spent almost every other night at a dude's house

(Wyatt: you have no social life

Me: then tell me why I'm at a DUDE'S house almost every other night?

Wyatt: that's gay

me: do you understand how gay works?

Wyatt: yeah. and that's gay.

Me: are you speaking from experience?

David (from my left): OOOOOOH)

• slung an arm around friend Noah and said "our friends concern me."

• he replied "they should."

• David's hands, as always, felt like ice

• I learned that David has been going to sleep late AGAIN (at like 4am)

• (that boy is going to be the death of me, I swear)

• Kyle laid his head in my lap

• I played with his hair

• my cousin Victoria took his jacket

• and I'm unsure if he got it back

• I will ask her tomorrow

• and i ate waaaaaay too many sweets and pizza rolls

[tiredintheglow-moved]

I never let anyone use my sharpies except my friend Ethan and today in 6th period Ethan let me draw on his arm and then he wrote "ETHAN WUZ HERE" on my arm and as he was writing my kinda friend walked over and went "oooh" and I said "fuck off I'm gay" it was glorious

[syeoga-blog]

Ethan here.

Yes i found your private account (you didn't log out of my ipad you stupid)

But, Princess when you see this, I need to remind you that you are better than this. As, uh, fucked up as this sounds, I hate seeing you smile at school. I know it's fake, don't hide it anymore. You know that I know you're hiding it. I'm sorry I didn't say much. I just saw you crying, I didn't know what to do but hug you. Did he hurt you that bad? Did he mean that much to you? Ugh, stop crying you ruined my sweater (just kidding thats fucked up lol). But no Princess really, i hated to see you smile after that. You cried on me for the longest time, we had to skip class again. I saw your arm. 

I can't say much, you already know how i feel about that. Just please, when you need to let it out, i'm right here. You don't have to hide it from everyone. And HEY! Ever since the break up, a bunch of guys have been all over your dick. Haha, okayy, too soon? It'll get better, Princess. Stop your crying.

[ethanryanpunal]

YE

[ethanryanpunal]

SUPER FUTURE

[ethanryanpunal]

R.I.P X

[ethanryanpunal]

JBAN$2TURNT

[ethanryanpunal]

SWEATSHIRT

[ethanryanpunal]

HUNCHO JACK, JACK HUNCHO

[ethanryanpunal]

LIL BOAT

[ethanryanpunal]

MF DOOM

[ethanryanpunal]

GUNNA

[ethanryanpunal]

CACTUS JACK 🌵

[ethanryanpunal]

RICH THE KID