#essence shine shine shine
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#ride kamens episode 14 spoilers#can't believe i made a joke about it being his eye color AND THEN#i did see his updated sprite before i got to 13 but i didn't even notice it at first...#at least he also got a funky little face marking to go with it#shine on you super shitsuji!!!!#anyway I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP#on main story anyway i haven't played the tower emblem event yet :')#but man i am loving this game#i was not expecting it to be a full-on mystery! with intrigue!#who is lying! who is telling the truth! who THINKS they're telling the truth but isn't!#punctuated by the most delightful nonsense like the unbreakable magic superhero covenants#where you gotta touch rings in the magical wedding chapel dimension that we teleport to sometimes to talk to our dead dad#(OR IS HE???????)#NO IT'S GREAT (and it does make sense in context i just love it)#still 50/50 on yellow beyblade man secretly being our dad but i can't get into theories now i don't have enough tags#man this really has the essence of what i love about rider ❤️#so far i do think agata is my favorite#but then there's leon...#let me put it this way: i would tell agata a hard truth about himself if i thought he needed to hear it#but there is no amount of money in the world you could pay me to say anything even slightly mean to our sweet leon#LET 👏 HIM 👏 HENSHIN 👏#WAIT SHOOT is it too late to redo my survey answers i need to demand that i be able to put hats on leon
947 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey, did you know that there’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will?
#been thinking about this line so much lately 😭#been thinking too about (this is not directly connected but bear with me)#about how true brilliance is about presenting things in a context#so it hits harder. different. with the full weight of contextualized reality behind it#to present both an idea and its place in things#and that’s the essence of Hamlet. he goes on such a journey to reach a conclusion some truly simple souls would have known or trusted soone#and yet because he didn’t because he questions everything because his tenaciously powerful whirlwind of a mind considers everything#weighs everything questions everything —including his own questioning#when he does finally set it down. when he does finally say ‘let be’#‘there is providence in the fall of a sparrow’#it hits like a TON of bricks because he has come to that truth in the fullness of context#he has seen it for the shining star that it is and so it cuts through everything with such clarity#and in the final shattering of the play you can feel the radiating peace. the peace that is#there IS a divinity that shapes our ends. rough-hew them how we will!!!!!!!#I am going to weep I am weeping
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) x.
#Takashi Shirogane#Shiro#You're nothingness but shining and everywhere at once.#Allura#The Silver-Haired Princess and Her Silver-Haired Paladin.#Voltron: Legendary Defender#Mine.#I have so many many many thoughts regarding these two.#How both of them were directly victimized by the Galra Empire#and Zarkon#himself#and find themselves in positions of leadership at the forefront of an intergalactic war despite the fact that Allura is a teenaged genocide#survivor who still misses her father and Shiro is a deeply scarred and traumatized pilot-turned-gladiator-against-his-will and neither one#of them have had the space or time to process either of these things.#How differently they handle the immense grief the Galra have caused them.#And that even though they find themselves diametrically opposed to each other's beliefs concerning Ulaz and the Blades they still trust#one another implicitly.#That Shiro looks so much like Alfor it's actually crazy.#How Allura unknowingly made Shiro relive the trauma of losing his crew when she allowed herself to be captured because they're both#inherently self-sacrificing and all-too willing to martyr themselves for the sake of others.#Allura carrying Shiro's essence inside of her before magically transferring it into the clone's body#and how it not only bleached Shiro's hair but is implied to have altered his DNA given his later interactions with the Balmeran crystals#used to power his arm and the Atlas.#That the new arm was Allura's idea and she willingly sacrificed a piece of her heritage for it and for Shiro.#The way they play off of each other when given a moment of levity and all of the potential that was wasted because the writing on this show#is an unbelievably frustrating mess.#In a perfect world where the notorious Season Eight doesn't exist or was competently handled#Shiro is part of Allura's bridal party and the godfather of her and Lance's children.#And he never attempts to dye or change his hair because he loves having a reminder of everything that Allura has done for him and their#importance to and connection with each other readily apparent every time he sees himself in the mirror.
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
ONEW 3RD EP [FLOW]
Concept Photo Wednesday 'Essence Unveiled'
2024.09.03 6PM KST
#온유 #ONEW #FLOW
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
jackie’s wig actually has nothing to do with the ordinary constraints of creating flashbacks on television but is instead to demonstrate that shauna’s memories of jackie are already becoming distorted, creating an uncanny valley effect for shauna and the audience alike
#yellowjackets spoilers#yellowjackets#she has to piece alive!jackie together in her mind#c*rpse jackie is just not giving the herbal essences chamomile shine and bounce that shauna remembers :/
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
saw a contract be referred to as a “contractual adventure” & started giggling.
#that’s such a cute way to word it?? contractual adventure…..#i love when they utilise creative wordings in legal matters. i find the uniformity to be exhausting.#it is good to take freedom and a laxer approach when you put forward your arguments.#so long as your wording doesn’t negate the legal essence or lose the legal meaning.#i highly condone the usage of metaphors and comparisons and playful substitutes.#legal analysis (especially of contracts!) becomes much more fun when you allow yourself to shine through.#it’s one of the reasons I simply don’t understand people who use bots to write for them.#why would you take this away from yourself.#i hope my colours shine bright through my essays; i sincerely do.#i saw this post on Instagram once that was like.#my toxic trait is thinking that i could write my essays better than ai.#AND YEAH. YEAH#IT’S ABOUT THE PERSONALITY. THE ANALYSIS. BE OPINIONATED AND COLOURFUL AND REASONABLY LOUD#✧.*🌹
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ruins at its old glory
#illustration#concept art#visual development#background art#digital art#digital illustration#background concept art#artists on tumblr#a civilization that has been long abandoned centuries back. Years back it was a prosperous elven community whose livelihood revolved around#nature#their habitats built right into the giant sky-reaching trees. With wooden bridges connecting multiple trees#one can imagine it was a very warm and familial community. Now though#it lies barren with the colossal trees having lost all leaves and withered. Moss has grown over and covered most of its old magnificence.#rickety#dusty and dull. However#as the sun peeks through the clouded ceiling#it shines upon the village and gives us a glimpse and essence of what the once thriving community might have looked like.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the makeup i got is soooo cute omg <3 it’s so sparkly and the eyeliners and liquid glitters all have such fine tips that are a delight to work with !! the glosses are less high-shine than i typically go for and they’re less pink than i expected but they feel very soft on the lips. one of the glosses turned out to not be a gloss tho fghdhsk it’s matte </3 it feels nicer than any matte lipstick i’ve tried tho (at least for the amount of time i had it on) so i’ll most likely just try topping it with a gloss
#the glosses were def a risk on my part bc no gloss will ever be the essence extreme shine volume lipgloss (beloved)#but i do like to try different glosses on occasion and i def like these hold live ones#btw the brands i got stuff from are judydoll,flortte,hold live,gogo tales,meiking,hyntoor,and colorkey#<- for my fellow makeup enthusiasts
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shining - 8 ½ - Feberdrömmar I Vaket Tillstånd (Karisma & Dark Essenc Records AS, 2013)
youtube
0 notes
Text
This was completed in Inkscape. I had to change a few things around, but all in all, this turned out quite nice.
Things have been going ok. I haven't been able to find the inspiration to work with Inkscape and produce more artwork. But maybe in May I'll have something.
#magic#moon#bottle#collecting stars#collecting essence#shine#night sky#starry#myart#curtains#magical#power
0 notes
Text
(nsfw, 18+)
gojo hates the fact that you go on dates.
he despises it whenever you bring another guy over, wants to jam a pencil into his ears whenever he hears you moan (horribly) when the guy fails to make you come.
but he loves it whenever you come sulking back to him.
“mmh, f-fuck, ‘toru slow down!” you cry around his fat cock, your fingers digging into his shoulder has your legs lock around his waist.
“you know you love it,” he seethes, his hair flipping into his face as sweat dots at his forehead. you look gorgeous like this; the makeup you so carefully did earlier smudged and running down your face as tears streak down your cheeks.
“y-yeah, but…” you trail off into a loud whine when he drops his hand down to rub at your clit, squeezing your eyes shut at the feeling.
“but what?” he presses, dropping his face down to suck at your neck and chest, leaving behind dark marks in their wake, knowing anybody who saw you would see them.
“you’re usually, fuck, you’re usually not this…” you think about the right word in the midst of his relentless pounding, biting in your lip as he pinches your nipple a between two fingers, tugging at it harshly as you cry out again, “a-aggressive.”
the grin he gives you is toothy, eyes blazing a dark blue as he pulls at your bottom lip, nipping at it as his dick prods at the gummy spot deep within you.
“just need to give you a reminder sweetheart.” he says, nudging at your jaw as you tilt your head towards, giving him room to plant wet and messy kisses on your neck. his hips pick up pace as he feels you clenching more around him, the dim light from his lamp highlighting the way your essence shines around his length, mixing with his pre.
“need a, f-fuck! need a reminder for what?” you pout, your eyes so sweet yet your body so fucking tempting as you pull him closer to you, your nails digging into his back, sure to leave some red lines.
“that, shit,” he takes in a deep breath, his eyes rolling back as he feels himself about to come, “that nobody can fuck you the way i do.”
his thumb on your clit moved faster as your whines and moans fill with his groans, your back arching, tits pressing into his chest as you feel him come inside you, your orgasm following his as you see white. you feel like your about to pass out with the way he continue to pump his dick and and out of you, making sure that you don’t waste his cum.
he slows to a stop, dropping his massive build on top of you as you let him.
“see?” he says after a beat, and despite the fact that he’s cocky and too full of himself, he’s right.
“yeah,” you heave a sigh, giving up as you tug on some of his hairs in annoyance, “you’re my best fuck by far.”
#gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo x you#gojo x you smut#jjk x reader#jjk x reader smut#gojo smut#satoru x reader#satoru x reader smut#jjk smut#gojo drabble#jujutsu Kaisen
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
Asteroid Aphrodite (1388)
APHRODITE IN THE 1ST HOUSE OR ARIES
Radiating irresistible beauty and magnetism, you captivate others without even trying. You naturally exude grace and charm, making you the center of attention. Everywhere you go, people are drawn to your sensual aura. Confidence in your appearance and style comes effortlessly, and you know how to make an entrance that leaves people mesmerized. You live for being admired and desired, and your presence alone can be intoxicating to others. There’s a flirtatious energy about you that makes others feel like they're basking in the presence of a goddess.
APHRODITE IN THE 2ND HOUSE OR TAURUS
Attracting wealth, luxury, and beauty, your sensual nature finds expression in the material world. You have a refined taste for the finer things in life, and others can’t help but be drawn to your exquisite style. Possessions and financial security bring out your sense of comfort and confidence, adding to your allure. You have a natural way of making things, including yourself, more beautiful, and you know how to attract both money and admiration. There’s a seductive aura around the way you handle your resources and the pleasure you derive from them.
APHRODITE IN THE 3RD HOUSE OR GEMINI
Your words are laced with charm and seduction, and you can easily talk your way into anyone’s heart. There’s a flirtatious tone in your voice, making everyday conversations feel more intimate and captivating. You have a gift for making others feel special, as if you’re speaking only to them, no matter the topic. Your beauty and allure often shine through your intellect and the way you express yourself. The power of persuasion is strong with you, and you often find admiration coming your way through your charming conversations.
APHRODITE IN THE 4TH HOUSE OR CANCER
Your beauty is deeply rooted in a sense of emotional warmth and comfort. You make others feel safe and adored in your presence, creating a home-like sanctuary wherever you go. There’s something about your domestic energy that others find incredibly attractive. Your sensuality is expressed in nurturing ways through cooking, creating cozy spaces, and offering emotional support. People are drawn to you because they feel like they can find comfort in your loving energy. You embody the essence of home, warmth, and gentle affection.
APHRODITE IN THE 5TH HOUSE OR LEO
A true lover of romance, drama, and fun, your beauty shines brightest in the spotlight of creativity and play. You attract attention effortlessly, like a muse inspiring admiration from all who see you. There’s an undeniable sexual charisma in the way you express yourself, and your flirtatious nature often takes center stage in your life. You’re passionate and always ready to indulge in love, art, and pleasure. Your presence feels like a romantic adventure waiting to happen, leaving those around you enchanted and eager to be part of your story.
APHRODITE IN THE 6TH HOUSE OR VIRGO
Your sensuality is expressed in the everyday details of life, making the ordinary feel extraordinary. There’s a quiet charm to the way you handle responsibilities, infusing beauty into daily routines. Others are drawn to your elegance and the way you effortlessly blend beauty and practicality. You take pride in caring for yourself and others, and there’s something alluring about the way you maintain balance between work and pleasure. Your ability to find beauty in structure and routine makes you captivating in a subtle, refined way.
APHRODITE IN THE 7TH HOUSE OR LIBRA
The ultimate partner in love, you attract admirers who are drawn to your harmonious and balanced nature. You embody the essence of relationship goals, with others seeing you as the ideal partner—beautiful, charming, and diplomatic. There’s a deep allure in how you relate to others, and people are often seduced by your fairness, grace, and the way you make them feel valued. Partnerships, both romantic and professional, come easily to you because of your innate ability to create connection and intimacy.
APHRODITE IN THE 8TH HOUSE OR SCORPIO
Magnetically mysterious, you exude an intense, seductive energy that draws others in on a soul-deep level. There’s something about you that is both alluring and dangerous, as people sense that you have the power to transform them. Sexuality, intimacy, and deep emotional connections are your playground, and your beauty is often intertwined with themes of power and vulnerability. People are fascinated by your depth and feel an irresistible pull toward the hidden, passionate side of you. You seduce through intensity, leaving a lasting impression on anyone who crosses your path.
APHRODITE IN THE 9TH HOUSE OR SAGITTARIUS
You are the epitome of beauty in wisdom and exploration. Your love for adventure, philosophy, and different cultures makes you irresistibly attractive. There’s a radiant glow that comes from your love of life and the expansive way you view the world. You captivate others with your free spirit and open-mindedness, and your curiosity for the unknown gives you an exotic, intriguing charm. Your beauty shines brightest when you’re learning, traveling, or teaching others, as your passion for discovery is contagious.
APHRODITE IN THE 10TH HOUSE OR CAPRICORN
Commanding admiration in public life, your beauty is on display for the world to see. You naturally attract respect and recognition for your elegance, professionalism, and poise. There’s a regal quality to the way you carry yourself, and others are drawn to your ambition and the effortless way you climb the social ladder. Your sense of style and grace often makes you a trendsetter, and people look up to you for inspiration. You know how to wield your charm in a way that helps you achieve your goals, making success feel as natural as breathing.
APHRODITE IN THE 11TH HOUSE OR AQUARIUS
Your beauty is a force of inspiration for the collective, drawing people toward you in social settings and group activities. There’s something magnetic about the way you connect with others on a humanitarian level. You shine brightest when you’re part of a larger cause or community, and people are captivated by your vision for a better world. Your charm and allure often make you the life of the party, with a seductive energy that brings people together. Friendships and networks form easily around you, as others are drawn to your idealism and social grace.
APHRODITE IN THE 12TH HOUSE OR PISCES
A mystical and elusive beauty surrounds you, making you appear otherworldly and hard to pin down. You have an ethereal, dream-like quality that others find incredibly captivating, as though you’re a living embodiment of fantasy. There’s something deeply romantic about your private and introspective nature, and people are drawn to the mysteries you hold within. You exude a soft, enchanting allure that often attracts those who want to uncover the depths of your soul. In the unseen and spiritual realms, your beauty flourishes, often hidden but profoundly felt by those who sense it.
#astrology#asteroid aphrodite#asteroid astrology#asteroid observations#astrology observations#astroids astrology#beauty asteroid
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
ᴀꜱᴛᴇʀᴏɪᴅ ʙᴇʟʟᴀ [695]
follow for more content <3
get a chart reading done!
❦ asteroid bella [695] is an asteroid that means beauty, how and where you value beauty. this asteroid is also about your beauty on an energetic level, and how it manifests and shines.
♇ ASTEROID BELLA IN 1H/ARIES ⟶ very in your face beauty, sharp and very bold. strong features, cheekbones are strong. head might be prominent even forehead. can value beauty a lot and even chase it. can even chase compliments. embracing sexuality, and very bombshell type of beauty. nice body and even chest. might have a beauty spot on their face or body.
♇ ASTEROID BELLA IN 2H/TAURUS ⟶ can value beauty a lot. can only feel valued when they feel beautiful, very earthy type of beauty. like garden fairy or nymph type of attraction. very good singers, could like to kiss a lot. might buy a lot of beauty and self-care products. very feminine beauty, makes the people around them calm, and can have a really nice scent and voice.
♇ ASTEROID BELLA IN 3H/GEMINI ⟶ the girl next door type of beauty. my friend's "sister" or like the school crush. could never see them again type of beauty. could either be careless about their beauty or could be very anxious about it. they could be the type of people to care about the trends, influencer type of essence like leah halton and can be a charming person, very flirtatious. could look similar to a relative.
♇ ASTEROID BELLA IN 4H/CANCER ⟶ looking like your mother type of beauty, could have nice chests and cheekbones, the "i want to make you my wife or baby mother " type of beauty, beware of trappers! many beauty spots especially around chest area. classical type of beauty, like old hollywood. luscious hair and mysterious type of essence, classic television type of beauty, childhood crush and very sea mother type of energy.
♱ ASTEROID BELLA IN 5H/LEO ⟶ youthful but glamorous type of beauty. curly/big hair like starfire type of beauty. nice posture, could pose a lot, very 2000's beauty, not y2k aesthetic specifically. born for the spotlight, gold highlights and being a superstar type of essence. "i think you're famous" or "i think i've seen you before" type of beauty. stuck in your mind. could have beautiful children, creative and expressive style, many colours or dramatic makeup.
♱ ASTEROID BELLA IN 6H/VIRGO ⟶ classy type of beaut, might look for trends you could fit in. clean girl type of beauty; can chase beauty and could strive for perfection. "office girl" type of essence, glasses and cosplaying as another identity. wants to be better than other people, others could feel judged around them. work crush type of beauty. other people could envy your looks.
♱ ASTEROID BELLA IN 7H/LIBRA ⟶ temperance card/angel type of beauty. approachable, looks like a kind person, reminds me of the type of girl you would see in a perfume advert. light colour palette. flowy hair could be straight, can be very hip when it comes to their beauty, "she's like a rainbow" type of beauty, from the song she's a rainbow by the rolling stones. very beautiful people, could be known for that, and might take care of themselves all the time and could care of the opinions of others too much. could look nice in suits.
♱ ASTEROID BELLA IN 8H/SCORPIO ⟶ striking beauty, like a vampire. van helsing/dracula's brides. or like form interview with the vampire. could intimidate other people, other people would want to know your secrets. embracing sexuality and putting dark make up on yourself with white eyeshadow, it reminds me of alexa demie and gabriette. dark hair, luscious, big fur cat, wide and sharp smile, more succubus than siren.
♇ ASTEROID BELLA IN 9H/SAGITTARIUS �� another very in your face type of beauty, colourful beauty, might be fetishised, "exotic beauty", very catchy beauty; ambiguous as well. golden skin, type of holiday romance type of crush, can look good in a variety type of make up, especially blues. dimples and a lot of beauty moles, very nice hair, the attractive person in an air port. the type to be everybody's type. easy-going energy, makes other people laugh, and their humour also makes them attractive.
♇ ASTEROID BELLA IN 10H/CAPRICORN ⟶ another classic beauty, being a model type of beauty. slicked back hair and up do's. type to influence other people with their styles, strong and sharp features, either jaw, cheeks or eyebrows. can look good in either muted or bold colours, women in suits, intimidating beauty, cares about how they look. another indicator of work-crush type of beauty, are known for their attractive features, could have a nice body as well.
♇ ASTEROID BELLA IN 11H/AQUARIUS ⟶ very other-worldly type of beauty, alien, mermaid and fairy. the type to rock every outfit you wear, creating trends and could gain fame on the internet because of your looks. being eccentric makes you liked by other people, could be the friend crush, or you crush on other friends. could also manifest to your friends friend having a crush on you. "i did it first" type of beauty, like make up trend other people might find weird in the beginning but as time passes they would follow it.
♇ ASTEROID BELLA IN 12H/PISCES ⟶ mystical beauty, past lover type of beauty. "i think i know you from another life." haunting and siren beauty. like a ghost, has the type of essence that'll make other people want to drop everything for you. but could chase compliments/people. others could envy your beauty. glamour magick type of attraction. could be watched a lot, can draw people in easily. people could stalk you because of your looks. could remind other people of the fae, could be the one that envies other people.
masterlist
get a chart reading
♇ pluto
#d4rkpluto#astrology#libra#gemini#aquarius#scorpio#aries#sagittarius#virgo#taurus#cancer#leo#capricorn#pisces#asteroid bella#astrology asteroid#asteroid astrology#astro notes#astro observations#astrology notes#astrology observations#zodiac notes#zodiac observations#beauty astrology#beauty#law of attraction#astrology beauty#manifestation#law of assumption#self concept
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Thoughts?
#Takashi Shirogane#Shiro#You're nothingness but shining and everywhere at once.#King Alfor#Voltron: Legendary Defender#It's probably a quirk of character design- strong square jaw equals noble and heroic.#But the fact that they have the same nose too...#I know people love their 'Altean Lance' AUs and headcanons but Shiro having Altean DNA has a LOT more basis in canon with Allura's#quintessence alchemy bleaching his hair when she held his essence inside of her before transferring it into the clone's body#and him being psychically linked with the Atlas#which is powered by the same magic as the Castle Ship that was psychically linked to Allura.#Allura gave Lance Altean markings but Shiro was touched and affected by her magic#too.#Not that this show was ever going to address that#because Shiro was immediately relegated to side-character status after his revival.#'Oh you're conscious now? To the sidelines you go#old broken former Paladin.'
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Birds of a Feather - Azriel x Reader
Birds of a Feather - Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel had been your closest friend, made from the very same things as you—birds of a feather, as they say. But you were not the girl he chose to fall in love with. So all you could do was love your mate in the shadows until the day you died.
Warnings: angst angst angst
A/n: Inspired by Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish, but this is a more sad interpretation of the song. Hope you enjoy! (Epilogue HERE)
• ───────────────── •
I want you to stay
'Til I'm in the grave
'Til I rot away, dead and buried
'Til I'm in the casket you carry
• ───────────────── •
A flick of golden brown hair caught your eye as Elain tossed her head back with her lilting laughter. So soft. So beautiful. So charming. You could hardly blame Azriel for being so enraptured by her. To him, she was probably the answer to all his questions, all his insecurities and doubt. To have someone like Elain look at him like that…Well, it seemed like it had healed something in him.
Unfortunately for you, it had done the opposite. It had completely destroyed you. Torn your heart into pieces. Opened new wounds and old wounds. It had shined a light on every single insecurity you felt. Because you had been praying for the day that Azriel would look at you the way he looked at her. But that day had never come and it never would.
You hadn’t been good enough for him. Hadn’t been beautiful enough to catch his attention like Mor and Elain had. Hadn’t been sweet enough to serve as a beacon of light for him. Hadn’t been soft enough to bring him comfort.
You slipped out of the back door. No one even noticed your disappearance, all too happy in this new little family they had created with all three of the Archeron sisters.
Tears lined your eyes as you hugged yourself, slowly walking along the Sidra towards your apartment. You had been naive to think you’d ever have a love like Feyre and Rhys or Nesta and Cassian. Azriel had been right that night you’d overheard him in the High Lord’s office.
The Cauldron had gotten it wrong. It had gotten it all so wrong.
Azriel was your mate. He was supposed to love and cherish you. Not her. But he had never looked your way once—not like that. You’d been best friends since the dawn of time, since you had entered each other’s lives. But that was all the companionship he could give you.
On nights like this, you almost wished you had told him about the mating bond when it had snapped for you. But you had hoped and prayed that he would come to love you for you and not for the mating bond. So you never spoke a word of it to anyone and maybe that had been your mistake.
But you didn’t want a love that only existed because of the mating bond. You wanted a love that felt real and deep—with the mating bond only serving as the cherry on top. You didn’t regret not telling him. But you did regret sticking around to watch him fall in love with another girl.
It didn’t help that Elain was the opposite of you. She was all sunshine and flowers, soft warm bread and honey. You were a creature of the night. You were the moon and its shadows, cryptic and grim. It was why you thought you and Azriel got along so well. You were made of all the same things. But he had always hated that about himself so really, it shouldn’t have been so surprising that he would look for someone who embodied the opposite.
It hurt though, it hurt so much.
You were his equal. You lived in the shadows as much as he did. Your soul was made from the same essence as his. You were birds of a feather. You were companions. He was the only one who understood you completely and you were the only one who saw him and loved him as he was—darkness and all.
You were supposed to stick together through it all.
But…he hadn’t chosen you.
You finally made it back to your apartment and hung up your coat before collapsing on your bed and letting the sobs ricochet through the utter silence of your home.
Alone once again.
As you always would be.
• ───────────────── •
Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know
I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone
Can't change the weather, might not be forever
But if it's forever, it's even better
• ───────────────── •
All you had wanted to do today was get lost in your book and forget about your own life for a few hours. That was what you had planned, why you were even in the private library at the River House. But of course, the Mother decided to spite you once again.
Azriel sat on the armchair across from you, fiddling with Truth-teller as he ranted about Rhysand for the millionth time. He was still upset about your High Lord telling him to stay away from Elain, even though he had completely ignored those orders anyways. As far as you knew, Rhys hadn’t brought it up again.
Your jaw was clenched as he brought up Lucien, laminating on how much Elain didn’t want him or the mating bond between them. You blinked away the tears that threatened to come. It almost felt like he was talking about the mating bond between the two of you—the one he still had no idea existed.
Your heart was pounding in your chest, your stomach tossing and turning. You were so in love with the male sitting before you, so in love with your best friend. And here you were, listening to him talk about another girl the way you wished he’d talk about you.
You cleared your throat when silence finally overtook the library, your eyes darting to the fireplace that was lacking any light—cold and dusty—the same way you felt inside.
“Don’t you think…” you started, not looking at Azriel, not sure you wanted to say the words lingering in your throat.
“Do I think what?” Azriel raised an eyebrow at you.
You looked away again.
“I don’t know,” you hesitated before continuing, “Don’t you think that Rhys might actually have a point?”
You were still focused on the fireplace as you awaited his response with a bated breath. It was the first time you’d addressed his interest in Elain without being positive. But you just had to poke at it once—just once to make sure you were right in keeping the mating bond from him.
“Oh Gods,” Azriel groaned. “Not you, too.”
“I’m just asking,” you said in your defense. “What if…what if in ten years Elain decides she does actually want to give Lucien a shot? The mating bond—”
“Is godsdamn stupid, is what it is,” Azriel scoffed. “She doesn’t want Lucien, Y/n. She wants me. We want each other. Is that such a bad thing?”
“No, I’m not saying that,” you grimaced, “But what if you find your mate? Would you…would you stay with Elain?”
“Of course I would,” Azriel answered without missing a beat, digging that dagger into your heart a little more. “I don’t have a mate and even if I did, I would only ever feel sorry for her. For being cursed and shackled to me. At least Elain is choosing me. She is choosing me, Y/n. Over her own mate. If that isn’t love, then what is?”
“I don’t know, Az.” You swallowed harshly, your throat closing up the further this conversation went on. You wanted to scream and sew your mouth shut at the same time. “Is that what this is? Are you truly in love with her?”
This was it. The question you had been avoiding for months. And his answer would solidify everything. It would either put the nail in the coffin between the two of you or it would lighten the weight on your shoulders for just a minute—give you a modicum of hope to hang onto.
“I am,” Azriel snapped, surprising you with his sudden ire. He rose from his seat, his eyes narrowing at you. “What is wrong with you? I thought you cared about me. I thought you were my friend, Y/n, and you’re acting just like Rhysand.”
You shot up from your seat, eyes wide. “No, Az, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way, I just—”
“No, I get it,” Azriel scoffed, cutting you off. His eyes were ice cold. He had never looked at you like that before. It made your heart pause. “You just want me to continue being miserable. Because that’s always been why the two of us got along so well. Both lonely and so unhappy and now that I’m finally not, you want to drag me back down. Maybe one day someone will love you the way me and Elain love each other. But just because no one does right now, does not mean I have to give up my happiness to keep being miserable with you.”
Tears welled up in your eyes, your lower lip wobbling. All you wanted was Azriel to be happy. It was another reason why you hadn’t said anything about the mating bond. Because he was happy with Elain and you didn’t want to throw a wrench into that. You hadn’t meant anything by asking him those questions—only wanted a bit of closure for yourself.
Well, you had gotten closure, all right. Azriel would never choose you. He was right. You were miserable and lonely and heartbroken. Why would he choose you? But you hadn’t expected him to be so harsh. A simple yes would’ve done the same. Tears slipped down your cheeks and the anger from Azriel’s eyes was washed away.
But you didn’t stick around to hear his half-assed apology. You couldn’t. Not when your heart was being ripped apart in your chest, not as bile was rising in your hoarse throat. You dropped your book down on the coffee table before fleeing from the room, ignoring his calls of your name as you left.
• ───────────────── •
But you're so full of shit,
Tell me it's a bit,
Say you don't see it, your mind's polluted
Say you wanna quit, don't be stupid
• ───────────────── •
Months went by, all meshing together. You had avoided Azriel since that day in the library. It hurt but being around him hurt even more. It was all you could do to protect your already broken heart. He didn’t reach out to you either, instead all of his attention went to Elain.
Elain who had finally told Lucien she would never accept their bond.
And so Azriel and her had finally proclaimed their love to the whole family. A family you felt yourself slipping away from bit by bit. No one even seemed to notice. After all, it had always been you and Azriel hiding away in the shadows—content to observe and love from the corners of the room.
But now it was just you in that corner, all alone.
You stopped going to family dinners, stopped hanging around the River House, stopped going to training with the Valkyries. You began to disappear from their lives day by day. You couldn’t bring yourself to stay. Not when your mate was in love with someone else—not as they all started new chapters in their lives and left you behind.
You had overstayed your welcome. No longer Azriel’s closest friend and confidant. No longer Cassian’s sparring buddy. No longer an extra ear for Rhys to run court decisions by. No longer Mor’s dancing partner or Amren’s pupil to bully.
You became a shadow of yourself. Sleepless nights led to a lack of energy and focus. Constant tears led to being voiceless. You couldn’t even resort to alcohol because it made the steely barrier you had put up to block out the mating bond come tumbling down, flooding you with all of Azriel’s feelings. Happiness, joy, lust, desire, satiation.
It was just a reminder that you weren’t the one giving him those things.
But you couldn’t disappear the way you wanted to. Not when a new war started with Koschei. Despite months of not being around, Rhysand still sent you a notice to come to a meeting to discuss strategy and to inform everyone of new developments.
You wanted to ignore the summons but the thought of Azriel going into battle again without you around to watch his back nearly sent you spiraling. So you made your way to the River House, eyes on the floor the whole time as you stepped inside and hung up your coat.
You were about to go up the stairs to get to Rhys’s office when a hand on your shoulder stopped you. You spun around and your breath caught in your throat as you came face to face with Azriel. You took a shaky step away from him, your hand coming up to grip at your chest. The mating bond you had been trying to ignore shoved its way through your defenses—bombarding you with Azriel’s emotions once again.
His hazel eyes were filled with a bit of guilt and remorse. “Y/n, I was wondering if you were going to show up today. I…I’ve been wanting to talk to you but you haven’t been around much.”
Your mouth opened and closed, no words coming out. You didn’t trust yourself to speak. Azriel hesitated for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck before speaking, “I never got to apologize for the things I said to you. It's not an excuse, but Rhys had just laid into me again about Elain before I found you in the library and I took my anger out on you when you were just trying to be a good friend and I am truly sorry for what I said to you. I didn’t mean any of it.”
“It’s okay,” you mumbled, looking away from him. His words had felt true that day. Besides, what he said to you might’ve been wrong but that didn’t take away from the fact that he was in love with someone else. Regardless of his apology, there was no way you could go back to being his friend. It hurt too much.
Azriel seemed to be waiting for you to say anything else and his shoulders deflated a bit when he realized you weren’t going to. He gave you a weak smile before summoning something from his shadows. An envelope. He held it out for you to grab. You took it from him with a questioning look.
“It’s an invitation,” Azriel explained. “Me and Elain are getting married. I wanted to deliver this to you in person. It would mean a lot to have you there, Y/n.”
You stared at the envelope in your hand.
Stared and stared and stared.
Even throughout the whole meeting with the Inner Circle, all you could do was stare at that godsdamn envelope. Because inside of it was the last piece of your broken heart, smashed and weeping. Azriel was getting married…and not to you. To her.
So when Rhys announced his plans of attack for Koschei and how he needed someone to act as bait for the Death God, you were the first to volunteer because you truly had nothing left to lose.
• ───────────────── •
And I don't know what I'm crying for
I don't think I could love you more
Might not be long, but baby, I
Don't wanna say goodbye
• ───────────────── •
“Are you sure you don’t want to sit up front with the rest of us?” Feyre asked.
You looked up at her from your seat in the very back of the temple, shaking your head. You gave her a blank look. “No, it’s all right. I’m fine back here. You know I don’t like that attention of sitting near the High Lord and Lady.”
Feyre gave you an understanding nod. “Okay, but you will sit with us at the reception. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
You nodded to appease her, knowing you had no intentions of staying past the ceremony. You were only here for one reason—because Azriel had asked you to be here and you could never say no to him. So here you sat, your chest empty and your eyes sore from the tears you spilled last night.
This wedding felt more like a funeral to you and in some ways, it was. You were saying goodbye to a future you could’ve had with your mate, giving up the final piece of yourself for his sake, and getting to watch him be happy and free, such a bittersweet feeling. All you had ever wished was that he could be happy with you but that was just a dream—that’s all it would ever be.
Elain looked so beautiful in her wedding gown, as she always did.
Azriel’s eyes lit up the moment she came through the doorway, striding down the aisle to him. He held out his hand for her, helping her up the steps to stand before him. They didn’t look away from each other for a single moment during the ceremony. He was so in love with her. So in love with her and not you…never you.
The whole room was bursting with joy but not you. You were happy for him, of course. But you couldn’t help but feel that ache in your chest and everything that came with it. The hurt, the jealousy, the grief.
Had he even really wanted you here or had it been a pity invite? It didn’t matter because he took no notice of anyone but Elain. So when the ceremony ended and everyone began to make their way to the reception, you slinked into the shadows and disappeared once again.
• ───────────────── •
I'll love you 'til the day that I die
'Til the day that I die
'Til the light leaves my eyes
'Til the day that I die
• ───────────────── •
The battle was over. Koschei had been defeated. You had gone through with serving as the bait for this plan to work. It had cost so much to finally take him down. So many lives, so much power. And you. It had cost you everything.
You were dying. Slowly.
But you knew this was the end for you.
Even if you could be saved, you didn’t want to be.
You wanted to let death embrace you in his cold arms.
You wanted to leave behind this life finally.
Everyone was still cheering and hugging with relief when you stumbled back into the war camp. You pressed a hand against the deep wound in your stomach, blood bubbling through the cracks in your fingers as you passed by everyone—no one taking notice of you or your severely injured state.
Not until you made it to the main tent where the rest of the Inner Circle had begun to celebrate the victory.
It was Feyre who noticed you first, her gasp alerting the rest of them to your presence. But you were only looking at Azriel as you stumbled into the tent, barely making it past the threshold before you crumbled to the ground. You choked on the blood filling up your mouth, some of it trickling out of your lips.
Azriel shouted your name, pushing Cassian out of his way to get to you. He knelt before you, eyes wide with panic as he grasped your shoulders. In the background, you could faintly hear Rhysand shouting for a healer but you knew it was too late for that.
You weakly smiled up at Azriel. This is what you wanted. To just see him one last time. To let his face be the last thing you see before death came to take you. You reached a hand out, letting your fingertips brush against his jaw.
It took you being gravely injured for the mating bond to finally snap in place for him. You knew the minute he realized. The mating bond hummed in your chest but its song was so quiet now…so, so quiet.
It was slowly fraying as your life dimmed.
“Mate,” Azriel choked out in a whisper, his hand resting on your cheek. His eyes were still full of panic. “You’re…You’re my mate.”
You nodded, coughing again and more blood slipped out of your lips and down your chin. Azriel shouted frantically for a healer before focusing on you again, his eyes searching yours. “You knew?”
You nodded again, your body sagging in his hold. He let out a panicked cry and pulled you into his lap. “How long? How long have you known?”
“A while,” you managed to croak, your fingers raising to caress his jaw again.
Azriel stared at you in horror as he shouted again for a healer. You could hear the pounding of feet and other panicked whispers but you tuned it all out. You just wanted to go peacefully. No screaming, no cries. Just you and Azriel for the last second of your life.
“Why?” he cried out, wiping one of your tears away. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You…were…happy,” you struggled to get out, your eyes closing with the effort. Azriel shook your body, tears filling up in his eyes.
“No, stay awake, Y/n, you have to stay awake,” Azriel pleaded with you. “The healer is almost here, okay. Just stay awake a little longer.”
“I-It’s…okay,” you mumbled. “Want…want to go.”
You coughed again, blood splatting your face. Azriel released a cry that nearly caused the ground to shake. “No, you can’t. You can’t go. You’re my mate, Y/n. You can’t do this to me!”
“I’ll find…you…again,” you slurred out. “Maybe…maybe I’ll be…good enough….then.”
You blinked once, your vision blurry but you could see Azriel’s beautiful face. Gods, he was so beautiful. He was screaming something but your hearing went along with your vision, slowly worsening until finally, your heart stopped beating in your chest.
And with that, the pain was finally gone.
• ───────────────── •
I knew you in another life
You had that same look in your eyes
I love you, don't act so surprised
• ───────────────── •
Epilogue
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar x reader#acotar x you#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel angst#azriel spymaster#acotar angst#Spotify
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
To be fair, I vibe with her on that account. Things have their own taste and it's often a crime to mask that with spices.
I think Arlecchino's biggest personality flaw has nothing to do with the child soldier thing or the reservoir of unchecked baggage.
I think her biggest flaw is that her ideal meal is a single boiled, unsalted shrimp. No wonder her kids have no idea what to get her for her birthday
#arlecchino#when I discover a new food or meat from a good butcher I barely season it#because I just want to explore the taste#a bit of salt is enough most of the time#and I only start to add seasonings or pairings once I get familiar enough with base taste#and even then they are to complement what's already there not to overshadow it#I think it also points to the fact that arle likes real things#everything that isn't pretence#she makes the essence of things shine#because that's what matters#and also her signature dish is steak tartare#the only way to improve it is to pair it with wine tbh#if the base ingredients are already good I mean#adding more things to it usually ruins it
57 notes
·
View notes