#espn is shit does not know hockey

[naanima]

I'm legit ANNOYED at the ESPN top 100 players. I REFUSE to fucking click on their link for traffic. But also, having BEDARD on the list at #88?!? WHEN THE FUCKING KID HAS PLAYED LIKE 3 FUCKING NHL GAMES?

Yeah, you know what, I went from RAGE to cackling. This list is literally useless.

You CAN'T even say they created the list to cater to the general public bcos 1) the general public does NOT give a shit about hockey, 2) Bedard is honestly the only one that's an obvious catering attempt, 3) the complete weird ranking of players the general public would have NEVER heard of!

Instead the list appears to be pissing off many fanbases. So I'm really confused about it except to think that it is a list created by ppl who have watched maybe 2 whole hockey games, and went with name vibes & basic recognition?

Who the fuck even knows. Just DON'T click on the article link. Let it get death ratioed on twitter/x-porn name site.

[t1erradelfuego]

i can't sleep because of the Horrors (seasonal allergies) and as a result am extremely wired on cough medicine so here are a bunch of hockey rpf fics formatted as ao3 fics that i want to READ except they don't EXIST. obviously nsfw. deeply insane RPF below.

the feeling's there [frank nazar III/rutger mcgroarty, slow burn, getting together, unrequited feelings, miscommunication] -- Frankie's fucking stupid. Rutger's known that since they were 13. Nothing changes until everything does in Michigan.

more notes: if you played with the same person on almost every team since you were 13 you too would take him for granted! he's been your shadow for the last six years and he loves you and he knows you but you tolerate him at best. and it's enough for him but it's more than you even wanted. he follows you home. so you feel trapped. so you push him away and this time he listens because he loves you. and you see him with your teammates and for the first time he's not looking at you. you want him to look at you. you dont know why. you kind of miss it when he sits in your room not even doing anything, just happy to sit with you. college's been lonelier than you wanted it to be. something dark and ugly settles at the bottom in the pit of your stomach and it tastes like regret and it tastes like too late. and when you think about the distance between winnipeg and chicago (13 hours, 863 miles, too far, too long) you know you shouldn't try. it wouldn't be fair to either of you. but you want to try. you want to hurt him, you want to hurt yourself and you might've already done both. god, do you even know him?

guys, no one say anything! [trevor zegras/jamie drysdale, multimedia/trans media/mixed media, established relationship, coming out, secret marriage] -- Unknown Author. celebgossipdaily.com, "Anaheim Ducks' Trevor Zegras Reportedly Married + Reps Confirm", accessed March 07, 2025. Katherine Bailey ESPN @kbbailey Congratulations to Trevor Zegras on his marriage! The Anaheim Ducks centre was spotted in preseason media with a wedding ring. from: hughesy dude. why is my team asking me if i went to your wedding??? more notes: there were some truly inspired tags when the jimmy podcast came out and one of them was "do you think if they just keep slowly coming out they never have to make a statement" and. well. WHAT a PROMPT. before i am anything i am a mixed media girlie at heart and this would be so fun to incorporate news articles, text messages, tweets, tumblr posts, emails, reciepts, news articles etc etc. what i'm thinking is this is from 2024-2030 and spans several contracts, playoffs, a stanley cup, their MARRIAGE, buying a house, getting a dog, actually coming out to their family, and then the epilogue is set in 20XX when they actually do come out to the public!

point dover [owen power/******* *****/kent johnson/******* *******, polyamory negotiations, long distance relationship, real life wag, canadian polycule] -- Toronto, Buffalo, Vancouver, and Columbus all intersect at a place called Point Dover, by the lake. Or: There's four cities, three different timezones, and two countries between all of them. They get there, somehow, and then they make it work. Somehow. Or: Owen thinks navigating their relationship is easier than navigating the group chat, and he's not really wrong. Or: "Kent, is your girlfriend single?"

more notes: they're all stupid hot and went on vacation together what more do you want. redacting their actual names because i am Paranoid but. if you know. you know! i am a very big fan of best friends to lovers and it's so easy when kent and owen are best friends. and then you have the other two speed running the lovers part by commenting some seriously insane shit on each other's posts like WHY DON'T YOU ALL KISS ABOUT IT!!! GOD!!! THE SEXUAL TENSION IN THE INSTAGRAM COMMENTS!!!

mount joy's for lovers [nolan patrick/travis konecny, travis konecny/karly konecny, nolan patrick & karly konecny, polyamory negotiations, coparenting, queerplatonic relationships, alternate universe - canon divergence, nolan is still a flyer] -- It's more natural than it should be, more simple than what he thought it was going to be. But it's Travis, it was always going to be easy falling in line with whatever stupid plan he wants Nolan to be a part of, and it's Travis, so he makes it work. Even if it's stupid. He used a meme in the powerpoint, something about Justin Bieber having two hands, and it was so stupid, and Nolan made immediate eye contact with Karly, the two of them bursting into laughter, and he knew. It was always going to be easy between the three of them. more notes: travis konecny can have it all!!! look i am deeply fond of complex polyamorous relationships and i love thinking about how their relationship works. nolan and karly have a deeply platonic and loving friendship that makes it work, that lets karly let nolan be a part of their lives, that lets nolan think of their child as his, that lets travis have two romantic relationships with the people he loves the most!!! sometimes they all bang together, most times actually even though nolan is deeply allergic to pussy and karly would not touch his dick with a 10ft pole, but it works when they concentrate on their favourite thing which is: giving travis everything he could ever want!!! it's like. karly stresses less and has more time to herself. travis doesn't have to worry about being a bad husband or a bad best friend because he has enough love for two people. nolan doesn't have to worry about being a homewrecker. do you see the vibe do you-[gets shot]

super secret canadian boyfriend [trevor zegras/jamie drysdale, 5+1 things, alternate universe - college/university, canon divergence, jamie is still a member of the ducks, secret relationship, POV outsider, USNTDP 2017-2019 Ensemble] -- Trevor's such a bad fucking liar. There's no way he actually has a boyfriend, who just coincidentally happens to be busy all the time, avoids social media like the plague, and is from Canada, so it's not like he can even ask his friends if they know this Jimmy dude, or whatever. Trevor tried to tell him he played in the NHL, and Jack actually laughed so hard that he choked on his Chipotle. more notes: if trevor ever introduced jamie as his boyfriend he would get so clowned upon. oh what's this? you have a secret boyfriend you won't let us meet because he's busy all the time? and he's from canada? and he has no social media? jamie does not sound REAL. AT ALL.

hansel [luke hughes, quinn hughes, jack hughes, the hughes family, magical realism, alternate universe - canon divergence, pondering the important question of what is a hughes if not a brother, family dynamics, character study] -- "Here's the thing no one ever told me about. Not in the program, not at college, not in the show — just — absolutely nothing. Okay, are you listening? Sometimes, when you ask for something, the universe will listen." more notes: i sent an ask to someone while pondering the fantillis vs hughes re: sibling identity and they replied with "i want a fic where luke gets to experience being an only child and what changes" and i was like. wow. i want this fic too! in this universe luke's a center and he gets draft early 2nd round and they never move to michigan and he never makes it into the NTDP, never goes to michigan, goes through the AHL for a bit, nowhere near as competitive or determined or skilled as he was, more importantly. he's so lonely. god he wanted to get away from his brothers and he didn't realize how lonely he was.

a seat at the kitchen table [jack eichel/connor mcdavid, alternate universe - canon divergence, alternate universe - chefs, connor is still a hockey player jack is not, edmonton oilers ensemble, food as love language, eating disorders, neurodivergent characters] -- "Food doesn't just have to be fuel for performance, you know." Jack says pointedly, staring at Connor as he slices a leek lengthwise without ever looking away. "Everyone needs to eat, but there's more than that. Otherwise, we wouldn't have leek and potato soup. Absolute waste of ingredients in terms of preparation, but the best fucking soup I ever had." more notes: from my b*n appet*t days... i just think there is something so poignant about autism coding connor mcdavid and giving him food sensory issues coupled with the rigid belief that everything he has to eat must be good for his hockey, because, you know, it's all about the hockey. It's Not Not an eating disorder. but our guy jack eichel! former hockey player after he injured his spine! michellin star chef! burnt out from the restaurant world and takes a private live-in chef posting in the middle of edmonton for connor mcdavid. did he know it was connor mcdavid? no. anyways! i just think the intimacy of coming home to someone cooking for you would make anyone insane.

[squidsquadlove]

Hi, friend! :)

First of all, it is entirely possible to go from "how do I hockey?" to "I will follow you to the ends of the Earth" in less than a season. (Ask me how I know!) I hadn't watched a pro sports team in over 20 years before the Kraken started playing, and I had NEVER watched hockey before. It took four games for me to start being able to watch a game and actually follow the action, but after that I was hooked.

Some things to know about hockey in general:

* It is tremendously fast-paced and players change every 45-75 seconds continuously through the game.

* Knowing all the players' names and jersey numbers is crucial. You'll learn Your Team pretty fast, but it will take years to know other teams as well. It's okay, you'll just be gnashing your teeth at other teams mostly!

* Hockey players are adorable doofuses who love golf and fear snakes.

Hockeyblr is, uh, its own kind of marvelous:

* we are horny for these average looking men. SO HORNY.

* it's partly because they all have fantastic butts. but their faces often look like they were poorly assembled in the back room of a Wal-Mart.

* I hope you are prepared for how horny we are because it really cannot be understated

* as another reply mentioned, we liveblog the shit out of games and usually use [teamname] lb for the tag

For the Kraken in particular:

* We are very proudly the most woke monsterfucking team in the league. Our pride logos have tentacles. Actually, almost all our logos have tentacles. The hottest selling merch we have are plushie tentacles. "If it doesn't have tentacles, count me out" said all Kraken fans everywhere.

* The one drawback to being a Kraken fan in Indiana is the time difference. Most of our games will start at 10pm for you. You can still watch them live on ESPN+ or (ahem) other means, but it does involve either being willing to stay up late every other night for eight months a year or being willing to potentially deal with game spoilers.

* On the other hand, you have five teams in (relative) driving distance: Detroit, Chicago, Columbus, Pittsburgh, and Nashville. More if you go further afield and/or consider "driving distance" the same way my parents did as a kid! (Source: grew up in Indy, back several times a year to visit my parents and the in-laws.)

* The Kraken have some of the best broadcasters in the game. On TV, we have John Forslund, Eddie Olcyzk, and JT Brown, who are (respectively) a legend, your uncle who doesn't even try to hide his loyalty to the Kraken, and their beleaguered son who loves them. On radio (which you can listen to 100% for free on the iHeartRadio app/website or via the Kraken app), Everett Fitzhugh is wonderful beyond words (I tuned into the radio broadcast during the playoffs because I couldn't handle the unfamiliar TV broadcasters, even though it meant out-of-sync audio). He calls it with incredible passion and fluency that makes you feel like you're watching; you never feel like you're missing any details.

* We SUCKED our first year in the league and then promptly got way better our second year, so we fans are now filled with dangerous hope and ready to be crushed

* Our players put out a "Dogs of the Deep" calendar featuring our dudes with their dogs/local adoptable dogs and it is glorious.

* There are several podcasts worth listening to that will keep you up to date on Kraken news: Sound of Hockey, Emerald City Hockey, Locked On Kraken, The Kraken Pod, and Signals From The Deep will get you started.

* The social media is pretty good (there was a Booktok controversy this summer and if you don't know what those words mean you are probably better off). The official YouTube and TikTok channels are great.

* Welcome!! Anything else you need to know, Tumblr fans are very happy to fill in. :)

I decided I want to get into hockey but have zero idea how. Is there a side of tumblr for hockey fans? I decided I like the kraken specifically for their silly little mascot. Do people live post about games? Do y’all have inside jokes and make silly memes? Is there chronically online hockey fans that welcome people who don’t really know anything but just want to be involved in something? There’s a blaseball shaped hole in my heart and I’m filling it with real sports

[princessphilly]

Word count: 5627

Tag list:  @ohpuckyeah, @joelsfarabee, @besthockeyfics. @dreamer1430 @Defiant-Mouse @miracleonice87 @lovethepreds @linkingdolans @chicagostylehockey @heatherlcrosby87 @hockeywocs @shortstacks-blog @heatherawoowoo @newlibrary @markymarkstrom @iangiemae @puckbitchesgetmoney @missymore @himbos-on-ice @fiveholegoal @no-pucks-given @pagirl6866 @willieshakesqueer @nazdaddy @whatishockey @alphalib22 @romanseggy @laurenairay @texanstarslove @konecny-s @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87 @extratragic @squidlywiddly87 @stuff4me2do​ @allinangel93 @mydarkestsecretlol​

CW: angst, meeting the family, references to the n-word, people sucking

I decided to go ahead and finish it when I got a sudden burst of creativity when I came home.

*

Nina snuggled in bed, a happy little sigh leaving her lips. Sidney looked at her, a fond smile on his face. It had been a month since they were back together and life was almost perfect. Well, they were 6-3-2, 14 points earned which was okay but not where Sidney wanted the team to be. It was still early in the season, it was mid-November so there was plenty of time to right the ship. He and the boys would fix it. Sidney sighed before attempting to try to go back to sleep. However, he heard the sound of a door opening and he sat up, pushing the covers down inadvertently. 

Sidney racked his brain. It was Sunday, Marta, his housekeeper’s day off. Mario or Nathalie would have called before coming over. He had no idea who the hell it could be. “Fuck,” Sidney breathed. There were only two people who would do a surprise visit and one of them was a week earlier for the Moms trip. 

Lightly brushing his fingers over Nina’s side, Sidney urged, “Pretty girl, wake up.”

It was roughly 8am so it wasn’t hard to get Nina, an early riser by nature to wake up. “Urgh, mawning,” Nina mumbled as she cracked open her eyes. Sidney looked anxious and agitated which made Nina focus. 

Sidney opened his mouth, then closed it. If he was right, he was fucked and his pretty girl was probably going to run away screaming. He finally said, “Um, someone just opened the door and there are exactly five people other than me who have a key. There are two who’d do a surprise visit.”

Looking down, Nina was thankful that she had on one of Sidney’s shirts and shorts while sleeping. “Well, fuck, at least I’m not naked,” she said pointedly. Sidney had the grace to blush as Nina continued, “If it’s what you think it is, you need to get that under control,” pointing at his rather obvious morning wood. Sidney pulled the covers back over himself and Nina

Then a voice called out, “Morming, Sid!”

Sidney sighed in relief. It was Taylor, not his mom. Nina noticed it and arched an eyebrow. “Eh, it’s my sister, pretty girl.”

“Shit,” Nina fretted. This was going to be awkward, she didn’t even know if she wanted to meet his family but now, she was going to,have to. At least it was a sister.

The door creaked open and a blonde-haired head peeked in. “Boo,” Taylor said. Then her eyes perked when she saw who Sidney was with. 

Nina groaned. Her hair was in a scarf, it was obvious she slept over and fuck, fuck, fuck. A devious smile spread on Taylor’s face. “Nice to see that you finally let a girlfriend sleep in your room, Sidney.”

“Shut the fuck up, Taylor,” Sidney yelled as his little sister giggled before closing the door.

Nina facepalmed. “That was fun. Fun fun fun.”

Rolling onto her front, Nina mumbled, “I’m not ready to meet your family.”

“I’ve already met yours,” Sidney reasoned. 

“That was because Yanni was part of your Lil Penguins program. That was work related for you, doesn’t count.”

Trailing his fingers down Nina’s back, Sidney replied, “True but, it still counts. What are you doing next weekend?”

“I’m going to be in Philly for a wedding.”

Nina turned onto her left side, facing Sidney. Sidney sucked his bottom lip into his mouth before letting it go. “Don’t get any ideas.”

She slipped off the bed, pulling the scarf off her braids, letting them fall down her back. Rummaging through her clothes on the floor, Nina pulled out her bra. Pulling her shirt off, she put it on to the sound of Sidney’s groans. Nina rolled her eyes. “I’m stuck having to meet your sister because she decided to give you a surprise visit. I’m not meeting her without wearing a bra.”

“But you look so amazing without one,” Sidney replied. 

 Nina shook her head before leaving his bedroom. Making her way to the kitchen, Nina literally bumped into Taylor. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Nina gasped. 

“I’m okay,” Taylor reassured Nina, taking the moment to check out this girl that Sidney was now seeing. She wasn’t exactly what Taylor was expecting but one thing that Taylor liked about Nina was that she had kind eyes. Taylor had heard about her over the years, especially that Nina had kept rejecting Sidney. Her brother rarely heard the word no so that made Nina intriguing to her. 

Taylor offered, “Have you had breakfast yet?”

“No, and I’m hungry.”

Opening the fridge, Taylor took out the ingredients to make omelets. Nina sat at the island, a pensive look on her face. “You know, I totally didn’t expect to meet you this way. This is awkward as fuck.”

“Eh, don’t feel bad, I should have given Sid a heads up,” Taylor replied. “Plus, I’ve heard about you over the years.”

“Oh really?”

Taylor laughed as she cracked eggs. “Sidney couldn’t shut up about you. First it was he met this nice girl at work. Then, it was that you kept telling him no and he was confused. Later, he was beating himself up because he managed to fuck up before he could even ask you out. I really enjoyed that, I liked that you kept not only telling him no but when he pissed you off, you didn’t forgive him right away. I love my brother but his ego needs to get cut down sometimes.”

“True, he has a huge ego. He needs to take himself less seriously,” Nina concurred. “But it’s probably impossible to get him to do that.”

Taylor shrugged, pursing her lips. “At least he means well,” Nina added. 

Nodding, Taylor replied, “He does mean well, most of the time.”

“Already ganging up on me?”

They both laughed as Sidney entered the kitchen. “Why are you here, Taylor?”

“I went on a camping trip and I decided to be nosy and visit my big brother before heading home,” Taylor chirped. “The look on your face was worth it.”

“Hahaha. Should’ve called,” Sidney grumbled. 

Taylor quipped, “Oh, did I ruin your morning sex plans? I’m so sorry.”

Nina snorted as she laughed. Sidney gave her hurt eyes and Nina blew him a kiss. 

“Don’t worry Sid, I’m not staying long. Just enough to rest and then get back on the road,” Taylor said. 

“You drove,” Nina asked. Sidney was now standing right behind her and she could feel his hands massaging her shoulders. 

Taylor nodded as she flipped the first omelet. “You’re not what I expected, Nina. You’re way too pretty for a hockey player like my brother.”

Sidney wanted to kill his little sister as she continued to chirp him. Well, not only chirp him but ruin his planned lazy morning sex. But as he watched his sister and Nina interact playfully, Sidney could admit there was a slight good point. Taylor and Nina were hitting it off and Sidney knew that Nina would meet his family soon. This was a good sign. 

**

However, after practice four days later, Sidney was wishing his sister had never stopped by. Nina had been incredibly busy all week and Sidney knew he wouldn’t see her until next week due to her trip out of town. He was feeling extra irritable and hearing his name over the tv didn’t help. 

“So, two weeks ago, Sidney Crosby admitted that he was having relationship issues that were affecting him on the ice.”

Tanger went to change the channel on the tv in the lounge, muttering, “Fucking ESPN.”

“Shh, keep it on,” Sidney urged, crossing his arms over his chest. He wanted to see what kind of bullshit ESPN was saying now.

A couple of the guys stopped to check out the TV. Kevin Neghandi laughed as he responded, “Yeah, he admitted that after breaking a slump. Ever since, he’s been on a 2 point-per-game streak. But this really isn’t about him.”

“Huh,” said Geno, scratching his head.

Buccigross continued, “There was a picture of Crosby and his girlfriend posted on the internet, a nice picture. Someone posted it and made a derogatory statement about his girlfriend, Nina Jackson. This player is a player for Clemson.”

Neghandi laughed again. “Ms. Jackson has a younger brother named Jason Jackson. He was also the number 20 prospect, number 1, 5 star tight end. He also now plays for UNC.”

Sidney chuckled as he realized exactly where this was going. The guy on the tv continued, “Clemson and UNC had the rare Thursday night game last night. #1 Clemson went to the Tar Heels, ranked #22 and got spanked, 56-30. Jason Jackson had 10 catches, 200 yards receiving, and 3 TDs. His response in the postgame.”

The tv showed a clip of Jason talking to the media. A reporter asked, “What inspired you to have such a big game tonight.”

“Lowell decided he needed to talk about my sister on the gram so I had to put him in his place,” Jason drawled.

Sidney’s phone buzzed and it was a message from Nina. my brother is so dramatic 🙄

Nice to know he’ll always have your back, Sidney sent Nina. 

**

Nina smiled happily as she looked at the Thai food on plate. She was so hungry and excited to see Jamila face to face in person for lunch. Her friend looked more vibrant than usual, as life was treating her good. They made small talk until Jamila said, “I heard something about you, that you aren’t single for the first time in forever.”

“Oh really?”

Jamila looked at her best friend. “You’re dating Mayo boy.”

“What?!?” Perplexed, Nina stared at Jamila while Jamila rolled her eyes. 

“Sidney Crosby is like Mayo. Super white. Damn, my dating habits really did rub off on you. Welcome to being a basic bitch like me.”

It was Nina’s turn to roll her eyes. “Stop being so fucking dramatic, Jamila Brown.”

“I was an actress, I’m supposed to be dramatic. Tell Mayo boy if he ever breaks your heart, I’ll kill and cremate whatever’s left of him after your father and brother are finished with him.”

“Are you really gonna nickname him that?”

Jamila smirked at Nina and Nina sighed. Shrugging elegantly, Jamila replied, “I’m a part of Philly sports Twitter. I got lots of other names I could call him.

“Be a bigger bitch, Mila.”

“He gets a better nickname when he lets you fully run his pockets. And don’t give me that look, don’t be afraid of being called a gold digger. They are probably calling you worse names. Make Mayo boy run that card up when he takes you on baecation. Once that happens, I’ll upgrade his nickname.”

Nina sighed as she looked at the menu. Jamila reached out and put her hand out, covering Nina’s menu. “You know I’m just playing, right?”

“I don’t want to talk about it now, let’s talk about Toyin’s wedding instead,” Nina murmured. 

It was Jamila’s turn to sigh. “I’m sorry, Nina. I’m sorry for being a bitch. I shouldn’t be taking out my bad mood on you. I hate men.”

“Not forgiven yet,” Nina snarked. 

Jamila looked pensive as she said, “I like this guy but I don’t want to admit I like him. He’s like too perfect, too nice, well not that nice. He actually gives a fuck.”

“Let me guess, you’re scared and about to do something super stupid,” Nina dryly replied.

Jamila gave Nina a shocked look before she slumped in her chair. “I don’t want to,” she pouted. 

Nina reasoned, “Then don’t. Just ride it out for once.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jamila replied. 

Nina shrugged as her phone buzzed. It was a message from Sid, well really just a picture of him sweaty post-practice. Nina left him on read, she would get him back later for that. “Stop being stupid, and stop self-sabotaging.”

Jamila rolled her eyes as she ate her food. After swallowing, she arched an eyebrow. “Mayo boy sent you a message?”

“Yeah, but I’m focusing on you. I’ll see him next week… and his parents.”

“This is going fast,” Jamila commented. 

Nina bit her lip before saying, “I guess he had to wait eighty-four years, I mean five years, so he’s going to take advantage while they are in town.”

“Interesting.”

Nina pointed out, “At least I’m giving my relationships a chance, unlike you.”

“Fuck you.” 

Jamila gave Nina an exaggerated nasty look as Nina quipped, “I’m strictly dickly, bitch.”

The conversation switched to safer topics. However, throughout the wedding weekend, Nina had the thought in the back of her mind that maybe things were going a bit too fast. 

**

“Well, Taylor says she likes her. I checked out her instagram account and she doesn’t even mention you. Lots of nice vacation pictures though.”

Sidney looked at his mom from across the table. Trina had a pensive look on her face. Troy raised his eyebrows before leaning back in his chair. 

Sidney reasoned, “I want you two to meet her. Give her a chance. Nina is amazing, I’m lucky that she even likes me.”

“Why wouldn’t she like you, you’re Sidney Crosby,” Trina scoffed. 

Sidney shrugged. “Nina’s a PhD student and everything. It hasn’t been easy for her either.”

“Interesting,” Trina said. 

Nina herself was feeling extra nervous. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to meet Sidney’s parents, especially after having to turn in a huge paper and part of her thesis to her advisor. But, as she shook her head and smoothed down her shirt, they were in town and she was going to try to make her best impression.

Midway through dinner, Nina began to wish she was somewhere else on this Friday night. While Troy, Sidney’s dad, seemed nice, it felt like Trina was judging every single thing she did. Every reply Trina made to Nina’s questions was in a dry voice, as if it was boring her. Nina felt a bit discouraged. Sidney obviously loved his parents but it felt like his mother didn’t like her. 

On the other hand, Trina felt like Nina was looking down on them. It seemed like she was mentioning her PhD program, her thesis, like she was too smart for them and her boy. Trina sipped her water as there was a pause. She didn’t know about this girl but at least, every time she looked at Sidney, Trina could see the stars and hearts in her eyes.

Nina looked at Sidney, her palms sweating. She didn’t know what to say as she looked down at her plate. Her appetite was gone. Sidney, himself, didn’t really notice anything as he answered his father’s questions about the beginning of the season. Then Troy turned to Nina. 

“So what do you plan to do now that you’re with Sidney,” Troy casually asked.

Nina replied, “I have about two more years left before I finish earning my PhD. I plan to continue to work and I may teach a class or two.”

“You still plan to work,” Trina asked.

Nina nodded. “Yes. I love what I do and I’m not wasting my degrees.”

“Why do you want to work?”

Nina could tell that Trina intended that question to be light but Nina could still feel the claws. She was tired of this passive-aggressive bullshit and ready to curse her out. But Nina couldn’t so she measured her words carefully. “I did four years of undergrad, three years of school for my doctors in physical therapy, and I will do four more years for my doctorate. Why would I stop working after earning my degrees?”

Trina paused; she had expected some trite, suck-up answer. But it seemed like Nina was serious. “I would think that if you were with my son, you’d rather not work.”

“I’m not built to be a housewife.” Nina laughed. “I love what I do and if I’m expected to stop for Sidney, then maybe I need to reevaluate some things.”

Trina felt like she lost control of this conversation. All she wanted was to see what kind of user her boy’s dream girl was. Now, she had the feeling that her son was going to get dumped and it was going to be her fault.

Sidney laughed. “I don’t expect you to be a housewife. You would be so bored if you were.”

Nina flashed Sidney a quick grin before adding, “Nathalie has let me know the responsibilities though. I’ve done lots of volunteer and charity work over the years so that isn’t new at all. I’m excited about the toy drive, I remember when my parents just got out of the army and cash was tight. I got my favorite doll as a kid from a toy drive.”

“That’s nice,” Trina said. Maybe this Nina girl wasn’t completely stuck up, she thought as the night continued. After a couple of hours, Nina said her goodbyes. It was getting late and she was spending the morning taking her little sister to volleyball practice. After she left, Trina let out a sigh as Sidney turned to her.

“You have to lay off on Nina, Mom.”

Trina turned to look at her son. Sidney was giving her his most serious look and she sighed. 

“I like her but I don’t know if she’s the one for you, Sid. It seems like she’s one step from leaving you,” Trina said. “I don’t see her sticking with you if things go bad.”

“Just because she plans to work?” 

Sidney gave his mother an assessing look. He knew she meant well but this wasn’t for her to decide. “This isn’t your problem.”

“Fine, I like that she has her own life. She’s not obsessed with you and she plans to be her own person,” Trina conceded. “But she’s different.”

He knew this was going to be hard, asking his mom to back off but Sidney knew he had to do it. Nina hadn’t said anything last night but Sidney could sense that she was tired of how his mother was acting. Sidney also knew that if Nina decided to cut ties, it would be completely over. Sidney started, “Compared to Nina, I’m a dumb hockey player. But what I have with her, I’ve never found with anyone else. If you have a problem with that, that’s you. But be civil to Nina.”

“Really, Sidney Patrick Crosby,” Trina said, incredulous. But the look on her son’s face was something she had never seen before. Even though she didn’t believe her son would really pick any woman over her, a voice at the back of her mind told her that if Sidney ever did, this would be the woman he’d pick over her.

**

It was Saturday night and Nina pasted another smile on her face. If Trina got snide again, Nina didn’t know if she could be nice about it. But at least they were in public. As they sat down for dinner, a couple of guys came up. Sidney and his family had perfect PR smiles but the guys stopped in front of Nina.

“Hey, aren’t you Jason Jackson’s sister?”

Nina grinned. “Yes.”

“Why did he have to have such a great game against Pitt today? He killed them,” one of the guys said.

Nina shrugged. “Pitt should play better defense.”

After the guys left, Troy asked, “your brother plays college football?”

“Yup. He was the top prospect in Pennsylvania last season. Games on tv and everything.”

“I didn’t know that,” Sidney murmured.

Nina giggled as she replied, “All you do is eat, sleep, and breathe hockey.”

Sidney blushed as everyone laughed at that statement. However, through the night, more people came by the table to give Nina props for her brother’s monster game than to try to get a glimpse of Sidney. Jason had 184 yards receiving and 2 TDs for UNC today and there was already buzz about Jason being on the fast track to the NFL. During a lull, Trina stated, “You must get asked about your brother a lot.”

“I’m used to it. Once ESPN comes to your brother’s games when he was a sophomore in high school, you have to get used to it,” Nina said with a shrug. “I’m old enough that it really doesn’t bother me.”

“How does your brother deal with it,” Sidney asked, curious as he remembered some of his early experiences with fame. 

Nina replied, “College football is a different beast than the pros. So, he’s on scholarship and his days are pretty much regimented with meetings, practice, classes, more meetings, video study. I ran track when I was in undergrad so my experience was slightly similar. Main difference is that Jase gets paid for his likeness in video games now and a percentage of any jersey sales with his name and number.”

“You ran track,” Troy asked. Unlike his wife, he felt a bit more open towards Nina. It was obvious that she didn’t need Sidney for anything and Troy could see that his son was able to relax in a way with Nina that he hadn’t been able to relax with a woman before. 

“I had a partial scholarship. I ran the 4x100 relay and the 100 meters. I didn’t have the athletic ability to race for a living but I did decent,” Nina stated, feeling a bit shy. It had been a long time since she even talked about her track career. “I was state champ my senior year and my team won silver at the Penn Relays my sophomore and junior years of college. Now, I just run to stay in shape.”

“Wow,” Sidney said, impressed. “Sounds like you loved it though.”

Nina flashed Sidney a grin. “I did, I love running. What most people forget is that you can’t just run for health, you have to run and do strength training and yoga or Pilates.” 

“Have you been to any of your brother’s games,” Troy asked. “Seems like they are doing well.”

Nina replied, “We went to the season opener. I will never go to North Carolina in August ever again if I can help it. I’m going to their game next weekend at Virginia Tech. We’ll probably go to the bowl game since my little sister will be off school that week.”

“Seems like you stay busy,” Trina mused. 

Nina couldn’t help a little glare as she managed to say without malice, “I plan my calendar in advance.”

Trina said, “That sounds good. You have a life outside of everything.”

“And I will continue to have a life outside of everything,” Nina said with a syrup-sweet smile.

**

Nina quietly washed her hands, glancing up to the mirror. Trina was looking down on her hands as she washed hers. Tentatively, Nina asked, “Are you having a good time on this trip?”

“I enjoyed the Moms’ trip,” Trina replied. 

Nina looked down at her hands as she dried them. This was so awkward and she wanted to cry. 

“Sidney Crosby is here, and so are his parents,” somebody exclaimed just outside the ladies bathroom. Trina and Nina both shared a look until another person said, “And his n-word girlfriend is here with them too.”

Nina opened her mouth but Trina put up a finger. The second person continued, “His mom doesn't look too happy with that black girl. Maybe you could get a chance, finally.”

The door opener and the two women came in, laughing. The laughter stopped when those women saw Nina and Trina. 

“You don’t have to worry about getting a chance with my son because there’s no way I’d let him be with someone like you when he’s with a lady like Nina,” Trina stated. 

The two women shared a look but Trina stared them down until they left. Nina let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “No wonder my son is always saying that it hasn’t been easy for you,” Trina offered. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they get kicked out.”

Nina sniffled as she said, “That’s the first time I’ve heard it in person. It’s usually nasty messages online. I really, really hate it. But I guess I’m going to be stuck with this for the rest of my life.”

Impulsively, Trina reached out and grabbed Nina’s hand. “From the way that my son looks at you, nasty women like those will just have to be angry forever.”

Nina giggled as they shared a look. It felt like there was a truce and she was going to take it. After Trina talked to the manager and got those women booted, Nina definitely felt like there was definitely a truce.

**

“Don’t take anything seriously. If they don’t like you, they’ll say absolutely nothing to you. If they make jokes, they like you.”

Two weeks after meeting Sid’s family, it was his turn to meet Nina’s family. The team was home for American Thanksgiving and they didn’t have a game until Friday evening this year. So Sidney was going with Nina to meet her extended family. He was feeling extra nervous and desperate to make a good impression. 

Sidney grimaced as Nina giggled. “Plus, it’s Aryanna’s birthday so they won’t be too mean. I think.”

“Anything else I need to worry about,” Sidney asked. 

Nina reached out over the console and touched Sidney’s hand. “Relax, it’s not a game. You can’t lose.”

“But, I want them-”

Cutting Sidney off, Nina said, “I know, you want them to like you. So be the dork that you are instead of faking like you aren’t a dork.”

Sidney felt a bit insulted but Nina gave him a dazzling smile. “I like it when you’re being dorky, anyway.”

**

Sidney tried hard to follow Nina’s advice. There were so many people that he couldn’t keep them all straight so he focused on making sure he remembered the names of the older people in Nina’s family. There was Mawmaw, the family matriarch, Tracey and Vernon, Nina’s parents, Aunt Tasha who baked the sweet potato pie that he was having his third slice of, Aunt Dee, Uncle Tony, and Uncle Bashir. All of the cousins kinda blurred together but Sidney figured he’d learn their names quickly. 

Overall, he felt like everything was going well. Sidney answered everyone’s questions and he guessed his answers were good since one of Nina’s older cousins told him his new nickname was White Boy. Nina had snickered while some of the younger ones giggled. Right now, Sidney was talking to Aunt Tasha. “What would it take to get you to bake me a pie of my own,” Sidney asked. 

Tasha laughed while Tracey smirked. Tracey interjected, “Oh no, Tasha gonna be bragging about this forever. ‘Guess who came to Thanksgiving and loved my sweet potato pie? Sidney Crosby loved my sweet potato pie.’ She will never shut up!”

“Don’t be mad that you can’t bake a pie as good as me, Tracey,” Tasha chided, laughing. “Nina makes a better pie than both of us but that girl don’t wanna cook.”

Tracey smirked when she saw the look on Sidney’s face. “Oh no, Tash, now this boy gonna be begging my daughter to make him a pie.”

Everyone laughed as Nina was in a different room. Mawmaw chided, “I’m happy that one of my family don’t got to be in the kitchen like that. I wish I could’ve been the same at her age.”

Sidney decided to scroll his phone as the older women began to argue. Then he felt someone tap his shoulder.

“White boy, you wanna play spades?”

Sidney looked at this cousin of Nina. He was sitting at a table with Vernon, one of her aunts, and another cousin. “No,” he replied, shaking his head. 

The cousin got a devious grin on his face. “It’s easy, you should play for Shantara, she can’t play for shit.”

Sidney’s competitive instinct told him it was a bad idea. And from the way Vernon was eyeing him, Sidney knew he was right for shaking his head. “Nope. I’ll learn by watching.”

“Nina’s white boy smart,” Aunt Tasha hollered. “You play spades and renege, boy, someone about to go for those knees.”

“Stop torturing, Sid, Deonte,” Nina scolded as she sat in Sidney’s lap. “At least wait til the second visit before hazing him over spades.”

“I like this boy, Nini. Keep him, he’s betta than that last boy you brought here, bless his heart. Didn’t know how to talk to people,” Mawmaw advised. 

Nina wanted to die as the rest of her family snickered. Holidays: the time of the year where your greatest fuckups get rehashed for shits and giggles. 

Nafis snorted. “What’s his name... it wasn’t that Ron boy, was it? Naw, it was James’s old friend, Jordan. We all knew he wasn’t shit, I mean, nothing, when he made Tommy mad.”

Nina winced as remembered that. Tommy was one of the sweetest guys and hard to rile up, but anyone who could make cousin Tommy mad was a douchebag. 

“Her pets like him. Tess curls in his lap and Steely lets him pet him,” Vernon said. 

Everyone stared at Sidney, eyes wide. Stuttering, Aunt Tasha said, “T-t-that cat and d-dog hate every damn body other than Nini and her family. I be damned.”

Mawmaw laughed.

The rest of the dinner went without incident. But at a quiet moment, Vernon pulled Sidney from the group to a quiet spot in the yard. It was late November in Western Pennsylvania so no one else was there. 

Vernon Jackson had seen more of his fair share of crap in his life. Growing up in Ward 8 of D.C., Vernon had dodged dealers, hustlers, stick-up kids, etc. to survive. His grades weren’t great so Vernon went into the army to ensure that he escaped. Through being deployed in the Gulf War then to Mogadishu, Vernon had done his best to make sure that all his children had more than he did growing up. 

Now, his sweettart, his eldest, his sweet girl, Nina was grown. She had done more than he and Tracey combined. But looking at the man he was sure his daughter was in love with, Vernon began to wonder if he made a mistake. 

Oh, it was obvious that Sidney Crosby was in love with his daughter. But the feelings of love could fade and given his history, Vernon couldn’t trust that Crosby would do the right thing. 

So as a loving father, Vernon pulled Sidney to the side. “I just wanted to ask you something important before I give my blessing to this.”

“Yes, sir,” Sidney responded. 

“You know your children will be considered Black?”

Vernon watched Sidney’s face after asking that question. Lust and infatuation was nice but this was his little girl. The last thing he wanted was his daughter hurt because she fell for someone not just clueless but maliciously clueless about race. 

Sidney quietly replied, “I know. People will see them as Black and will think the worst of them first.”

Not bad, Vernon thought. He expected a colorblind response.

Then he heard Nina call out, “Dad? Sid? We are about to cut the cake!”

Vernon and Sid both grimaced but for different reasons. Vernon because he couldn’t really have cake because of his diabetes, Sid because cake wasn’t on his meal plan. Vernon told Sidney, “before you start making plans for rings, you need to start thinking about how you are going to start speaking up about race. Think about that.”

**

Sidney kept Vernon’s words in his mind through the week. Trina had told him what happened in the bathroom that night but Nina told him that his mom had handled it for her. But as he waited for Nina to open her door, Sidney couldn’t help but think what he could do to avoid situations like that from happening for Nina. But words failed as Nina opened the door and gave him a shy smile. 

“Hi pretty girl,” Sidney drawled as he walked in, closing the door. He hung up his coat on her coat rack before sitting on Nina’s couch.

“I missed you daddy”

“Missed you, pretty girl. Did you have fun?”

Nina straddled Sid’s thigh and replied, “it was a good time even though UNC lost. The VT campus is beautiful. How was the road trip?”

Sid laughed as Nina played with his hair. “It went well but Geno got hurt. He’ll be out for two weeks.”

“That sucks.”

Sidney hummed his assent as he wrapped an arm around Nina’s waist. He missed his pretty girl and it seemed like she missed him too. They sat there together for several quiet moments before Nina whispered, “I really missed you, daddy. It’s been too long.”

Sidney gave Nina a slow smile as she began to grind on his thigh. He felt the same way as he kissed Nina, soft and slow. Then as they broke apart, the sensual haze on Nina’s face turned into horror.  “God damn it,” she muttered. 

Sidney frantically asked, “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I just felt my period show up, three days early,” Nina said, rubbing her temples. Her period was cock-blocking her after a couple weeks of no dick and she wanted to die. “I just felt cramps and as much as I’d like to slide to my knees and suck you off, it won’t happen tonight.”

Nina groaned as she closed her eyes, head down. Sidney just started to laugh. 

“Cmon, pretty girl. Let’s just watch movies tonight.”

“Movies sound good,” Nina replied, “I just refuse to watch Friends, ever.”

Sidney giggle-honked as Nina moved from straddling his thigh to curling into his lap. 

[birlcholtz]

could you do jackshitty relationship for the rarepair thing if you havent already? ur writing is amazing!!

ah yes. jack and shitty. aka jackshit. u know if u combine shitty's flow and jack's ass u get one (1) standard hockey player

their friendship as we see it in the comic has such chaotic good energy about it and i think a romantic relationship would be Even More So

so shitty is a determined little fucker, we all know this about him, yes? and he also happens to be ride or die in the same way that jack is. so by october of their frog year they're BFFs that's just how the world works

jack is also totally shitty's gay/mlm awakening i Stand By This

in his defense it's not 100% a thirst moment. like it's a lot of tiny little negligible thirst moments whose memories all hit him at once when he's hanging out with jack and jack's like 'you should braid your hair. here let me try' and turns out he actually knows how to braid hair for some reason??? (there's a youtube channel that does recreations of historical braiding styles. i, birl, have spent many hours anxiety procrastinating by watcing this channel. jack does the same i've decided this it's canon now) and shitty's like ffffffffffuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUCK

meanwhile at first jack is like wow. shitty's like. my first real friend whose friendship isn't based on my dad. obviously i feel Incredibly Strongly about him.

once he forms some actual legit strong friendships with other people then he's like Hmm Wow Shitty Is Still Different. i'm going to never think about that ever because i'm jack zimmermann

jack would never have discovered jerrys brunch if shitty hadn't literally covered his eyes to keep him from being able to watch espn until he agreed to go to brunch (shitty's motivation was half 'JERRYS' and half 'jack doesnt need to watch this shit itll freak him out even if he thinks itll help his game')

and then jack is like wow shitty really likes jerrys brunch! how do i show him my deep affection for him?? TAKING HIM TO JERRYS CONSTANTLY

(shitty, internally: does jack. does jack realize. that if he insists on paying for me. this is basically a date.)

when lardo signs on as a manager she and jack hit it off and they spend a lot of time together being the captain and manager, which translates into friendship which translates into lardo talking about how she's like. lowkey into this girl in her drawing class ('i just want her to like, hold my hand and gaze into my eyes as we sit on a picnic blanket in the quad. fucking gross. i'm never this sappy') and jack is like oh huh weird that sounds like how i feel about shitty?? and lardo is like Oh Really. Elaborate

and then jack and lardo have a big conversation about distinguishing between platonic and romantic feelings and lardo solves everything so she's like ya bro that sounds like ur kinda into him and jack's like shit i'm into him

(lardo meanwhile is like if my conversations with the smh captain revolve around his realizing his gay feelings for his teammate then i think managing this team is gonna be fucking amazing)

jack also describes the jerrys brunch outings to her and how he and shitty are just really physically affectionate with each other all the time and she's like jack. those are dates. you're dating him

and then because jack is jack he Immediately goes and locates shitty and is like SHITTY. are we dating. and shitty (internally combusting) is genuinely speechless because what?? the fuck???????? he's been pining for MONTHS????????? and then jack just SAYS THIS?????? and then when shitty doesn't say anything jack just plows on and he's like BECAUSE I WANT TO DATE YOU and shitty's like oh hELL yeah

jack braiding shitty's hair also becomes a Thing it's really relaxing for both of them and that becomes their time to just like be together

shitty: *yelling at the lacrosse house across the street from the haus porch*

jack, next to him: i don't know what you're saying but i'm legally obligated to support you in this. i love you. fuck the lax team

the next year shitty purposefully obstructs the 'ban board games from the haus' movement because jack just looks so smug when he beats holster and it's hilarious and also cute (and hot because everything jack does is, inherently, hot). alas, ransom and johnson still win

jack and shitty, in unison: it wasn't cruel

honestly in terms of like. pda. they're exactly the same as they were before they started dating?? these two are so ridiculously comfortable with being around each other in various states of dress/undress. like even with the added discomfort of 'fuck i'm into him' it's just habitual for them?

in their junior year ollie and/or wicky is like so are you dating and jack (deadpan, arms around shitty who's sitting on his lap with his head hooked over shitty's shoulder) replies 'no this is how i am with all my friends'

and shitty busts out laughing so ollie and/or wicky figures jack's probably not serious and is like 'what about holster' and jack's like 'holster's not my friend'

and then holster somehow hears that from the attic and yells 'WE WOULD BE IF JACK WASN'T SO FUCKING RUDE ALL THE TIME'

sometimes jack uses shitty's shampoo because it smells nicer

intellectual jock power couple

over breaks they are always sending each other little gifts. notable gifts from jack: maple syrup, a pack of satin scrunchies. notable gifts from shitty: shampoo and conditioner (the same kind and scent as his, he's not dumb he knows why jack uses his hair stuff sometimes), socks with a pattern of kittens sitting in teacups on them

(once jack sends shitty weed socks)

jack doesn't have snapchat but shitty does and his snapchat is just. all jack. he has pictures of jack saved to use as reaction photos (mostly jack staring into the camera like the office)

shitty makes up bylaws on the fly for the frogs and jack stands behind him nodding intimidatingly

they never go to winter screw because shitty is like 'i throw better parties than that' and jack is like 'yes you do'. so they usually spend winter screw night in the haus drinking hot cocoa from a mix

[distant-rose]

I, too, would love a follow up to He’s in Entertainment. That idea that anon head of a now married still pretending to hate hockey idea cracks me up but seems so Emma. Good luck on your exams and I’ll hope for more soon!

I see this is a popular idea and I’ll see what I can do come mid-January. 

It would probably be something like she’s over David’s and MM’s and the team is on the other side of the country and David is trying to get her interested because he doesn’t know that Emma Swan absolutely follows her man’s stats and probably at this point now who is in the running for league leader boards than he does because Killian is so close to leading on power play goals. She absolutely curses and wishes bad things on the people in front of him in stats and absolutely gets ESPN updates on her phone just so she get all the updates going around the league.

(Occasionally, she knows before Killian when someone is out or injured on another team and she has to bit her lip from telling him even though he totally knows she follows because her phone is next to his and he’s quite perceptive from time to time, thank you very much.)

Anyway, of course, David is giving a running commentary and trying to play it up for her. Meanwhile, Emma’s on her phone, pretending to text but absolutely tracking the game. David makes a remark about how their defense is crap and Emma makes a super sarcastic remark about it.

And of course, as soon as she says something, David and Mary-Margaret both look over at her wide-eye and in shock that she actually understood what he was saying and even had a sassy reply because as far as they knew Emma knew jackshit about any sport, let alone hockey. And of course, she rolls her eyes and is like “In case you haven’t noticed, my husband is actually a professional hockey player and not a stripper. Of course, I’m gonna know this shit.”

[smollandtoll]

HC: Sid + Anna First (OT3)

So, in a universe in which Anna decides early on in her career that she wants to be a sports journalist, and also decides that if she truly wants to be the top of her career/internationally recognised she’s going to have to go to America and work for ESPN or some other major sports news conglomerate (and we’re definitely not saying that we think that north america is the be all end all for sports in the world because that’s ridiculous but slide along with us here as we have no idea what we’re talking about).

So she studies English, and moves to the states maybe enrolls in college there, starts working her way up. Probably ends up in the metropolitan area (NYC, Philly, Boston, DC), flowing through all the hockey and football and basketball circles for various sporting events, reporting on them.

She and Sid meet through mutual friends.

Maybe after the concussion but before Sochi. Their first date is actually a business meeting, they’re getting coffee to discuss a plan of attack for a profile she’s writing on him probably - he’s wearing all Penguins gear and giving off his best mannequin/robot impression and she’s trying to be 100% hard hitting JOURNALISM. But then they find themselves laughing helplessly at the way Sid spills his coffee and Anna mixes up a word or two (it reminds him of how endearing Geno is probs, he also definitely considers for A HOT MINUTE that he should set G & Anna up maybe).

He probably is deeply interested in how she came to be in the sports business, considering she’s a long way from home and so knowledgeable? Like her looks are one thing, but her SPORTS BRAIN … #sidnerdboner. They’re both super driven, and Anna is smart and funny and sharp as hell, AND she can talk hockey and keep up, and Sid is just like so sincere and a little goofy but also charmingly serious, and they just like each other. They talk for LITERAL HOURS. The coffee shop they’re in probably has to shoo them out when they close and they’re both horrifically embarrassed at how off-track that meeting got when they look around and the place is basically empty.

They both walk away thinking about each other. If he’s honest with himself Anna makes Sid think a lot of Geno. Both tall hot Russian brunettes, smart, funny, take no shit while also giving you shit- and Sid’s definitely been somewhat conditioned to be into Russian accents. He knows how to keep it on the DL in the locker room, but, he’s thought about it. And Anna’s gorgeous, of course he’s thinking about her for a bit there. But, y’know, Sid’s not one to walk away thinking he’s got it in the bag; he probably thinks they just connected well and he’ll hear from her when the article comes out and the little crush will taper off with distance.

So then Sid finds out that Anna has handed off her interview notes with him to someone else in the dept she works with. Sid is completely not there for it, like “But why?! You worked so hard!”

Anna: Can’t be professional and date you. It’s a conflict of interest. Sid: ...date? Anna: Just waiting for you to ask Sid: Oh! Um! For sure.

Sid definitely thought she was out of his league, and maybe would be better off with Geno. Someone more confident and flashy, who knew how to buy her jewels and surprise her with designer shoes and take her on luxury vacations to appreciate her completely aesthetic and not-at-all-practical swimwear. He got a little lost in her instagram one time, SUE HIM HE’S A RED BLOODED MALE AND SHE LOOKS LIKE THAT.

So, he was not prepared for her abrupt interest in him at all...but he likes her too and well, he can’t date Geno...so maybe this is like a healthy middle ground. She reminds him of G so much in addition to everything that’s great about her, and this way he gets the best of both worlds maybe. Y’know, sublimate the one crush into the other.

So then he does ask her out, and they continue to have riveting sports conversations, and Sid appreciates her wicked sense of humour and how familiar she feels. He feels like knowing Geno has been his cheat sheet for knowing Anna, there are things she wants and does and complains about that he’s heard before and has already figured out solutions to, and he’s heard all about Russian women and what they’re into over the years (not that these stereotypes are all true but like, there are cultural differences!).

Sid and Anna are also both SMOKING HOT and have athletic, aesthetically pleasing sex (as much as sex can be aesthetic) that Sid is so INTO BECAUSE HER LEGS NEVER END. He’s so into her natural beauty, her ability to look sexy in one of his oldest hole-iest hoodies and a penguins cap with little to no sleep, face puffy, and her emails open on his breakfast bar. She’s all messy hair and gorgeous tan limbs in his kitchen, and he feels luckier all the time for having her. And Sid - we all know Sid is good boyfriend material; dedicated, honest, funny, hot. Listen, it’s good.

Anna gets along with Sid’s parents, his sister. She definitely gave Taylor hat & hair style advice when dealing with a feminine face that has a strong jawline. She understands EVERYTHING about hockey, including his need for routine or for her to disappear occasionally. His heart stutters when she trash talks baseball players and pinches him after games where he missed easy shots. He loves it, she truly understands and never lets him have an inch.  BASICALLY SID IS HEAD OVER HEELS.

Of course he’s super nervous about introducing her to the guys ESPECIALLY GENO. He’s pretty sure everyone is going to tease him about finding female!Geno and Geno is going to have THOUGHTS because he and Anna will have a connection that Sid cannot understand or access. He’s #nervous.

Geno finds out he’s dating a Russian woman and for the most part IMMEDIATELY HEARTILY APPROVES because Russia best. But then you know he starts really pressuring to meet her. Geno and Anna don’t know each other at all in this universe, she was never a Russian media personality and he’s super famous so their paths never really crossed.

When they do meet it’s at some team get together BBQ. Sid’s been taking Anna around and introducing her to all the guys, and even though they all knew about her they’re still drawing some looks because Sid, damn. You can tell just by looking at them how gently smitten they are with each other. G’s obviously one of the first intros bc let’s be real, he hasn’t let it go since he found out and introducing Anna to anyone other than Flower or Tanger or Duper first would definitely earn a fine. They start chatting and there’s a bit of a nervous charge in the air but Geno is nice and says hi in Russian, and they find out they know a bunch of the same people in Moscow. All those weird woodwork mutual friends. And that takes them into a little chat about Moscow and their favourite places there that Sid can’t really contribute to.

Anna just looking back and forth between them and giving Sid searching looks and as they walk away like, “Your friend seems nice! Malkin’s a big name in Russia lately, I wasn’t sure what kind of man he’d be!”

Sid Thinking: Oh god they have so much chemistry Geno Thinking: ...Oh fuck I am SO INTO MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRLFRIEND Anna Thinking: Everyone is so nice! And hot! Zhenya is so tall. Sid is so thicc these boys are #blessed

Anyway just imagine Geno watching Sid and Anna chatting and laughing together, making the rounds. Sid’s arm just super casually around Anna’s waist, both of them laughing with Cath and Tanger. He would be lowkey jealous of them both and confused about why seeing them together makes him feel like shit. He’d go home with images of them together running through his head, Sid thumbing her hip, the way they leaned their heads together when talking, the arch of their throats laughing, the look in their eyes when they looked at each other.

Just imagine all the events and nights out Anna and Geno find themselves chatting amiably in Russian at. Sometimes they get talking about Sid, one of the many things they have in common, about how they met and funny stories about him. Anna telling Geno one time "well, this is just good timing, I've established my career and I'm ready to get married and be a mom?" softly, while gazing fondly over at Sid and licking BBQ sauce off her thumb.

G is just DYING because Sid's got that plan to like not have kids until he retires but LIKE MAYBE SHE'LL CHANGE HIS MIND. BUT SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO, HE SHOULD JUST WANT IT. A woman this perfect longing to carry his children??? He should be so lucky!!

Geno would always slink home a little miserable and lonely and self-pitying - flicking through his phone’s contacts thinking to organize a hookup but being too depressed to even do that. He’d get a little petty and mad the way G gets, “Sid doesn't even really care about getting married, not lonely like me, not that desperate for another person, he'd be fine on his own! It's not fair!”  He can’t believe how jealous he is but also just can’t get over it.

(It’s easier too to think he’s just jealous of Sid because Anna is amazing, but sometimes after too many vodka shots he can acknowledge that he thinks about Sid with Anna as much as he thinks about Anna with Sid - in the way you can when you know you’re not going to remember the realisation in the morning)

He'd be so terrible about everything, so unreasonable and so jealous of them both, just in a mood for months. He’s not very good at hiding his own feelings for other people’s good. And Geno’s moods affect every part of his life. Sid would probably try numerous times to ask him what's up, maybe eventually would have to sit him down in both friend and captain capacity and be like, ”G are you mad at me? What’s been going on with you? Your penalty minutes are off the charts.”

He’d keep getting brutally shut down and their relationship has NEVER been off like this. They GREW UP TOGETHER, Sid knew Geno was all bluster usually, but when he sat him down solo he usually cracked open and let Sid scoop out and sort through all his tremendous emotions. But now being shut out like this was painful and threw him for a loop. And of course Anna hears all about it, witnessing all of Sid’s bewildered hurt and confusion.

Then eventually Anna would have ENOUGH and be like "fuck this guy for making you feel like shit and also this is wreaking havoc on both your seasons!!"

Sid: I maybe just fell a little bit more in love with you

So she secretly goes to yell at Geno in a language he'll understand. Anna rocking up to his house and being like "So #1 fuck you, #2 what is your PROBLEM?"

Geno: YOU ARE MY PROBLEM! Anna: you don't like me dating Sid? You think I'm not good enough for him? Geno: NO. THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM Anna: So you're jealous of him then? Geno: Also no Anna:  You're jealous of me then. Geno: NO Anna: SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM Geno: BOTH. BOTH OF THOSE THINGS.

He might break into big ridiculous angry tears about it, just months of his own bottled up feelings and emotions he hasn’t been able to vent to ANYONE exploding out. Anna just looking at him with wide eyes for a moment before ushering him further into his own home and setting about making some tea.

Is there some comforting arm patting and texting Sid under the table? Maybe. But mostly Geno realizes what’s happening and gets his shit together enough to shoo her out of his house after profuse apologies and promises to get it together and start acting like a professional. Hopefully it’ll give him some time to curl up and lick his wounds and try to actually get his shit together.

But you can’t exactly put that cat back in the bag, and Anna goes back to Sid, who is so earnest and concerned, sits in his impossibly broad lap and asks if he’s ever thought about fucking Geno. They would look at each other in stunned silence for a few beats too long as a flush slowly rises in his cheeks which gives her her answer.

Sid like “I...I thought about setting the two of you up when we first met. You reminded me of him so much, and I couldn’t have him…but I could have you.” Followed by a rush of reassurances that of course he wants her and she’s his priority that she shuts down with a kiss. They maybe sit there like that for a bit with their foreheads together, just thinking about it.

More than fucking then. A relationship. A great love.

She would probably mull it over for a few days, scrolling through Geno’s instagram where he’s displayed his tender beating heart for the entire world to see. He loves animals, and children and his family. He’s not bad looking at all, the sheer size of his hands make her press her thighs together deliciously. She probably consults his birth chart and considers if she could handle two competitive, headstrong Leos, let alone one who is paired with a Tiger’s stubborn ego. She’d think about all the ways it could work, all the things they like about each other, and also about all the ways it could get fucked up and ruin everything. These things are complicated.

In the end she decides it’s not up to her, it’s up to them. So she bullies them into a sit-down with each other, locking them in the yard with enough food and beer to last the afternoon but promising she would only let them in when they’d worked out their problems and feelings and had come to a mutual decision about how to move forward. Neither of them had even known that the other had any feelings or interest like that; there’s a lot to talk about. And when they’re ready, they knock on the patio door so she can come talk too.

Of course the only real option is to move forward is as a triad, and Geno is not nearly noble and self-sacrificing enough to suffer through his own miserable lonely pining future for the sake of preserving a loved one’s relationship like some Canadians we know. So they agree this can work and move forward, and Anna immensely enjoys the addition that Geno makes to the relationship, spoiling them both with the kind of romance that didn’t come naturally to her or Sid, insisting on dinners out and sunny vacation spots. Also he has impeccable taste in lingerie and she enjoys taking him shopping to surprise and fluster Sid with later. Geno gets both of them, and to push his way in the middle on the couch and be annoying during quiet couch reading sessions, and to argue in favour of puppies and babies, and to smirk at Sid when he walks in on Anna’s legs around Geno on the kitchen counter. And Sid, he just gets everything he’s ever wanted pretty much.

IT’S A WIN ALL AROUND. OT3.

[nannyfeline]

ELM: [laughs] But I was thinking, I’m not like, super in celebrity fandom, but there are some actors that you know I love, and if I witnessed one of them being rude in an interview? FK: Yeah. ELM: I’d feel bad. And I never feel that way when I’m reading or writing fanfiction about, you know, about…

I've recently gotten into Hockey RPF, so I have thoughts.

I have no illusions that the people I read about (or listen to someone read about, I've been on a big podfic kick lately) act at all like their RPF personas. It's "real person fiction," not "real person facts." This breaks down in a few ways, some of which I think follows from a lot of the anti behavior and purity culture that's been on the rise over the last year in (my corners of) fandom.

1- I can accept a fictional character acting like a bag of dicks (hello there, Mr. Izzy Hands--or literally anyone else on OFMD), but I wouldn't be able to accept the actor who plays that character being rude in an interview, to steal ELM's example.

The fictional characters are fictional. Acting like an ass in fiction is wildly different from acting like an ass in real life. Doing things that cause harm to others is different when it's fictional, because the harm isn't real.

2- I can accept a fictional character acting like a bag of dicks and not the actor who plays them, because I just don't get as much time with the actor. I get that moment of the actor (or celebrity or whatever) showing their entire ass on social or whatever and that's all I get from them. I don't see them hanging out with their buds, bingeing Friends, or feeding the stray cat that hangs out on their porch. Real people that we don't actually know are one-dimensional characters.

In fiction, I get a whole development arc. I see that character change over time, I see them grow, I see them get fleshed out over hours watched or pages read. If the fictional character does something redemptive, if they feel really badly about the hurt they caused, I get to experience that with them

3- I can accept a fictional character acting like a bag of dicks and not a celebrity, because I don't know what's going on with real people. I can't see inside their heads to understand why they do anything. If they apologize, I can't tell if it's genuine.

With fictional characters, there's at least some insight into what they're feeling and their intentions. If the story is told from the character's point of view, I may get to listen to their thoughts and understand what led them to do the bad thing. I can also tell if their apology or remorse is real. Fictional characters are three-dimensional in a way celebrities aren't.

As an example of all of this, may I present Tyler Seguin and the Case of the Shitty Tweet.

Tyler Seguin was traded from the Boston Bruins to the Dallas Stars in 2013. He was not happy about this. I wouldn't be happy about this. Context for people who aren't hockey fans: Being traded away from the good team to the enh team is bad. It feels bad.

And then Tyler tweeted, "Only queers and steers in Texas, and I'm not a cow," which, hoo boy. (It also implies he's queer? Which I am 100% sure was not the intent.)

Immediately he said his phone had been stolen by his friends and that they'd tweeted from his account as a prank. Later he said he needed to remember that when he's tweeting, it's not just him and his friends, it's him and his millions of fans. In my opinion, both of those are fair.

a. His phone was stolen and it was a prank by not!Tyler. Okay, that happens. Maybe it happened to Tyler. But I can't know that. I can't know if he's lying to cover his ass. (Personally, I think he was lying to cover his ass.)

b. He was tweeting like he was chatting with his friends and not communicating to the masses. Yeah, okay, sure. I say dumb shit to my friends I wouldn't want the public at large to hear. That's valid. If I tweet something truly scandalous, it goes out to maybe 600 people. It's not ending up on ESPN.

So what's the truth? I have no idea.

Maybe he was drunk and pissed and hurting (because being told you're being relocated to, I repeat, Texas, and you're going to work for a shittier company, that's gotta sting). He's leaving his friends, his coworkers, his home. That sucks.

Then one of Tyler's friends steals his phone in an epically misguided attempt to make him laugh. Or Tyler says something dumb and hurtful because we all say shit we don't mean when we're angry and feel cornered.

I can't know if either of those are true. Again, personally, I think it's closer to the second scenario, that he tweeted it himself in anger and later regretted it, both for how bad it made him look and for the media fallout, not necessarily for the content of the tweet. But there's no way for me to know for sure.

The takeaway is that real person fiction characters are *drumroll* fictional characters!

I read a fic about Tyler Seguin being traded. I got to be inside "his" head for that moment. I got to know for sure what happened, how the tweet got posted, and his genuine remorse and frustration. I was able to empathize with him.

But that's Tyler Seguin the character. His RPF character is fully developed; the celebrity is one-dimensional. I don't have to imagine RPF!Tyler's motivations to understand his fuck up and forgive him, because the RPF character isn't real. All of his motivations are spelled out for me by a creator.

I have to do the work of generating empathy for Tyler Seguin the real person all by myself. I have to imagine him complexly. I have to understand that him being traded isn't an isolated event. He had complicated and conflicting feelings before, during, and after the trade.

Or I could just be projecting. That's something else I have to understand, that my knowledge of Tyler Seguin is superficial and incomplete, as it should be.

Whoops, going back to the numbered points.

4- When canon characters (and for the sake of RPF, the humans are the canon characters) are translated to fanworks, the creator chooses what to keep, what to throw away, what to replace from canon. They also use their understanding of a character to depict non-canon scenarios (or to work through canon events from another perspective).

That's okay.

Fandom's understanding of a character doesn't affect the canon character, and, here's the big brain moment, the canon character doesn't have to affect the fanon character.

Fanon and canon are two separate things and do not have to agree. Not even a little.

There's this new thing called "I do what I want," maybe you've heard of it.

So there's "canon" actual human Tyler Seguin, and then there's fanon Tyler Seguin. When actual human Tyler does something shitty, the fanon Tyler can go get a mud bath instead.

I know this is sounding a lot like Hatsune Miku Wrote Harry Potter.

It's not that. At least that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm not saying we have to or even should be uncritical of the real life subjects of RPF. I'm not saying it's okay to write Tyler Seguin apologia, and I'm not saying it's okay to excuse celebrities causing harm.

What "harm" means to you and what it means to me may be different, though. Are there direct victims of the celebrity's actions? That's harm. Are conditions made worse for a minority group? Harm. Is it "causing harm" when a celebrity says some dumb shit on Twitter? Enh. It's a sliding scale. You have to make that call for yourself.

But it's possible to still enjoy the characters that have been created in RPF even after we figure out that humans are dumb and fallible and really shouldn't be the subjects of such directed adulation.

(Someone is going to reblog this and say that I'm a Seguin fanboy. I am, at best, Seguin-neutral. I don't care one way or the other. Love him, hate him, I don't give a shit.)

Case study #2: Neurodivergent Sidney Crosby.

Here's the hockey context: You've heard of Wayne Gretzky? Sidney Crosby is Wayne Gretzky if he'd been born in the late 80s. Sid is a big fucking deal.

Sidney is often depicted in RPF as being neurodivergent. Sometimes he's just a little out of step with his teammates, and sometimes he's written as if a hockey-playing alien put on a human suit.

Is Sidney Crosby neurodivergent? I genuinely do not care. It's none of my fucking business.

Has Sidney Crosby in the past been really fucking weird in ways that would make a lot more sense we knew he was neurodivergent? Yeah, absolutely. The actual person Sidney Crosby has actually behaved actually really fucking weird. This is not a fannish invention.

"Sidney Crosby is autistic" may be a true statement, it may not, but we don't know one way or the other, because, again, it's not our business.

But I sure do love me some "Sidney is a big nd weirdo" fanfic. Love it. Could eat it up with a spoon.

And if tomorrow the Penguins organization PR announced that star center Sidney Crosby has been tested and is definitely allistic, I'd still want to read more nd!Sid fics. Because the person Sidney Crosby and the RPF character Sidney Crosby are not the same, and new things we learn about Sid don't have to be reflected in hockey fanworks.

I got one more Hockey RPF example for you.

"Travis Konecny and Nolan Patrick aren't on the same team anymore."

I don't know what the ship name is for those two, but I'm gonna say patrecny. Patrick and Konecny used to both be on the Flyers. (You may know them as the team that exists in the shadow of Gritty.) They sure did seems like good buds, too.

Through a game of hockey telephone, Patty was traded to Las Vegas, a team in a land without snow. TK is still in Philly.

I have less than zero idea about these people's personal lives, but I saw a tweet say that TK/Patty shippers are out of luck because they're not on the same team and don't even talk in real life anymore.

Bitch, do I look like I care? They also don't fuck in real life, but that's not stopping anyone. No one thinks the things happening in fanfic are really happening, because it's fiction. What happens in real life or canon or whatever does not have to be recreated in the fanworks.

We do what we want.

Episode 185: RPF Revisited

In Episode 185, “RPF Revisited,” Elizabeth and Flourish use a trio of listener letters to return to the perennially thorny topic of real person fiction. How does RPF fit into the broader fandom space in 2022? What does “canon” even mean when it comes to real people? How do fans reconcile with troubling new information about celebrities they’ve written and read about? And is RPF source material the same as fictional source material, or are there fundamental differences between the two?

Click through to our site to listen or read a full transcript!

[thesportssoundoff]

Pros/Cons Of The Potential UFC Media Distribution Partners

Joey

Jan 8th

When WME-IMG put together a package to buy the UFC, they did so with one premium selling point that enticed enough folks to jump on board for a price. That selling point was a new TV deal, perhaps/arguably the final one of what could be considered the modern TV era. TV is changing but live sports remains the one true cashcow. Of the top 50 most watched events in 2017, all were live sports (37 accounting for pro football).  Pro sports is where the money's at and its why the UFC made a concerted effort back in 2011 to sell itself AS a live sports property. It's why the WWE tries to shoehorn itself as a live sports property when THEIR rights are up. The UFC expected or expects a big rights deal to come through and while the amount of money is open for debate (is the UFC worth $450 million? 200 million? 250 million?), it seems like they're going to at least go up based upon what they were earning. But where? How and why?

For the purpose of this discussion, we are going to operate under the assumption that all things are equal. The money is equal, the years are equal and the number of shows are all equal. EVERYTHING except for the networks are equal. What I'm going to attempt to do is piece together what the pros and cons of a UFC deal with each of the rumored networks involved is. The hope is to come up with a better picture of what the sport hopes to gain by the UFC's involvement with said network.

Fox Sports

Good- Familiarity is cool!

For better or worse, the UFC has been appearing on Fox programming for the past seven years. Be it on Fuel, FX, FXX, Fox Sports 1, Fox Sports 2 or just Fox, this has been the home of the UFC. It hasn't always been perfect nor has it always felt like Fox has given it the best effort but this is home. For the current UFC audience, Fox is where the UFC action is. The product is familiar to Fox, Fox is familiar to the product and after bouncing around for its first three or four years, UFC fans FINALLY have an idea of where these shows are going to be on. The product is a bit stale on Fox and the production could use a seriously new coat of paint but familiarity is what the human brain seeks. Continuity is what it wants, to quote Jerry Jarrett. It's why we all love the Price Is Right! Shit never changes! It's dependable and for Fox, that's probably what the UFC brings the most; dependability. Fox isn't going to get the NFL on FS1, they're not going to get major college football on FS1, they're not going to get a baseball game that in the middle of June can pop a number that's relevant to them. The UFC product guarantees relevance for FS1, it makes it a network that has SOMETHING of note during dry sports months. For the UFC, they get a home that will take just about any event they want plus a place that four times every year they can pop a big number on to boast about.

Bad- Familiarity breeds contempt?

We've all had our issues with Fox cards. The pacing is too long, the start time is too late, the lack of care and attention given to UFC cards in exchange for random events. Having to jump to FS2 in order to see the start of a show or the prelims for a PPV because a baseball game doing 500K viewers has run over. In a way, Fox and the UFC just feels like a tired marriage of convenience. The UFC is treated like the leftover child who has no real place or purpose in the grand scheme of things. Fox needs the UFC and the UFC needs Fox so they just suck it up together. What if that's not the best thing for the sport though? Fox is responsible for the rankings (the UFC is responsible for its shitty implementation) and we all have our issues there. Fox often times seems aloof to the fact that the UFC exists and conversely, it could be argued that the UFC doesn't seem to embrace what the Fox platform is worth either.

My thoughts? Fox just feels like a safe choice where the UFC ultimately winds up. Not good, not bad---just safe. The UFC and Fox have their pattern and it could be modified or amplified based upon whatever the next deal is. Maybe the UFC gets two more Fox cards in exchange for bigger fights on the platform. Maybe Fox gets its hands on the UFC digital library? Whatever the case, it seems pretty much like the safest bet.

ESPN

Good- Worldwide Leader

There's no way around this. Getting on ESPN would be a massive upgrade over Fox's digital platforms. There's questions about ESPN's long term future and about it's growth potential vs Fox Sports but there's simply no way you can say "I'd rather be on FS1 vs ESPN!" ESPN would provide the UFC with something Fox can't; genuine lead in material. Some of Top Rank's best numbers aren't based around a sizable interest in the fights they're having but on having a fair and healthy lead in. Instead of the UFC's lead in being a battle between two teams in the MWC, it could be Alabama vs Mississippi State. Imagine having the NBA to lead in for your events? ESPN brings a certain prestige to the UFC plus the UFC could, in theory, appear on ESPN or ESPN 2 or whatever network they're needed on. If you're big on the digital aspect of things, ESPN has digital properties where the UFC could find a home.

Bad- What if there's no ESPN? What if you have to pal around with Uncle Bob?

ESPN has had a rough year with layoffs and this and that and the other thing. There's been digital controversies and the like. We all know what the UFC demographic is and suffice to say, chances are the UFC demographics are the same ones that seem to be turning off ESPN at a breakneck pace.  Or maybe that's just speculation. There seems to be a fullness to the ESPN schedule as a whole; notably with Top Rank and Glory kickboxing taking up spots on the combat sports side plus Golden Boy promotions is there as well. It also doesn't help that the UFC runs on nights where basically every competitive sports brand on ESPN runs. It's not like ESPN is gonna push the NBA or college football out of a 10 PM slot to accomodate for the UFC product. Lastly we can't ignore the obvious; Bob Arum and Oscar De La Hoya are both in bed with ESPN and it seems like Dana White especially has a bee in his bonnet about both guys. It's nothing the good of business can't solve but it has to be acknowledged.

NBC Sports

Good- Like Fox but better?

A deal with NBC Sports would fall on the side of "intriguing but really just kind of being like Fox" if you think about it. The UFC could get 4 shows on NBC, a bunch of shows on NBC Sports but with the added caveat of having shows on NBC's digital platform. IF you're looking to dabble in a digital partner, NBC Sports seems like a pretty decent one to want to dabble with.

Bad- Like Fox but really not?

NBC Sports, to my knowledge, is not quite on the same level as Fox. Whereas FS1 has football, soccer and baseball, NBC Sports really just had its hands it hockey, the EPL and golf. Maybe they get the occasional college football game from time to time?  I cannot imagine that golf and horseracing will appeal to the UFC audience no matter how old it gets. NBC Sports averaged about 1.4 million viewers last year but those were boosted by massive NHL playoff numbers. It just feels like the third brand for MMA behind ESPN and FS1.

Turner Sports

Good- Something new and something different

By now the scribes have already detailed what the plan would be. The UFC would align with superpower AT&T to become apart of the Turner Sports family. They'd be a major player for their digital platform/budding streaming service, be on TruTV and Direct TV would have a major hand in the UFC's PPV scene. It seems like of all the networks, this is the one that has an actual plan for trying to maximize it's investment. Maybe the UFC even could get a hit or two on TBS or TNT along the way?

Bad- TruTV

I like TruTv----but let's be real. The UFC spent the last seven years being in bed with a major TV network and building up a sports network. To go from that to being tasked with building up TruTV as a sports network would be....bad. A step backwards on the grandest scale. To go from NFL lead ins to Impractical Jokers lead ins would do little to repair the reputation of the sport as, ya know, an actual sport. It'd be like going from the Big-10 to the MAC.  YOu'd also lose a major network (there is no FOX or NBC to do those 3 million peak numbers) so you'd be relegated to not much really.

Amazon/Netflix/Youtube/Oath

Good- Ahead of the curve

We are quite possibly/probably seeing the degradation of the modern TV formula. Things are shifting, audiences tastes are changing and the problem is determining whether or not TV can be saved. Amazon, Youtube, Netflix and Oath are all talking to the UFC and all represent a step towards a streaming service. Chances are that the UFC would secure a big digital deal, possibly without a block on shopping th eproduct elsewhere for traditional means.

Bad- Limited Appeal

We saw what the average NFL game on TV does. The average NFL game on Amazon did about 350K viewers. An article recently discussed how little live content gets consumed on streaming sites compared to traditional television. I believe the PFL claims it maxed out at around 185K viewers for its free on youtube stream for charity. The audience for digital streaming is not quite there yet so the money isn't going to be quite there. Also does the UFC need a more obscure TV partner? What does a deal with a streaming service do for MMA over the long haul?

[myhockeyworld87]

The Penguins GM got fleeced by Toronto’s! I can’t believe he helped them get out of cap hell and give them a great draft pick for basically a bag of pucks.

Look I don’t know if you’ve seen any of my asks that I answered yesterday, but I totally think JR is off his meds or something. It’s JR’s thing to trade away our draft picks. Then I get this article from ESPN:

https://www.espn.com/nhl/insider/story/_/id/29741069/no-prospects-no-draft-picks-no-hope-how-penguins-shallow-pipeline-got-even-worse-next

So first things first, this is an article by ESPN who does shit for hockey and acts like it’s not a sport, so for me to agree with this article is crazy in itself, but I do agree with it. Well except for the part where they say the fans will cheer JR on because guess we’re not. I’m pretty sure most Pens fans are not cheering him on at the moment and are questioning his sanity like I am. I’m just going to take a deep breath trust in our core and hope shit works out for the best. If not there are always plots to get rid of certain people😉. 🤣🤣🤣

[whoacanada]

NHL!Bitty, Part XII -  ‘A Stanley Cup Wedding’

The Schooners win game seven and dethrone the defending champion Falconers to claim Seattle’s first national title. 

Eric was definitely not expecting Jack to propose immediately after losing.

(A rework of the ‘Game 7 PVD vs SEA’ prompt that totally retcons some NHL!Bitty stuff, so timeline-wise: the Falconers took the cup Eric’s second year with the Schooners. The Schooners win the following season.)

NHL!Bitty Masterpost

Game Seven. Third period. Eric’s running on adrenaline, blue Gatorade, and rage.

Jack and the rest of the Falconers first line are racing to catch up, but Eric is ‘criminally fast’ (thank you ESPN for the lovely descriptor), and it’s almost too easy to whip the puck to Carter and wait for the siren.

Snowy can’t stop it. The Schooners will win in regulation. 

For a brief, terrifying moment, Eric sees Morin’s breakaway as the death knell of his relationship. He has flashes of Freshman year and he thinks ‘Jack is going to hate me’.

Eric closes his eyes and waits.

The siren blares and someone slams into his side, but he only has a moment to rally before he’s hit by a wall of sound that vibrates the ice beneath his skates and reverbs in his chest. The whole arena must be shaking because he’s never heard anything like this before.

Except that’s not quite true, because he was there last year in Providence, it’s just that the sound wasn’t directed at him.

It’s Seattle’s first championship.

Eric forces open his eyes and can’t see much beyond the mob of teammates that have surrounded him, but there’s someone else. A body in Falconer’s blue that’s mushed up against Eric and screaming as loudly as any of his teammates.

“Mon Petit Lapin est un Champion!” Jack shouts, right in his ear, before pressing a sloppy kiss against Eric’s cheek, the affectionate gesture hidden in the safety of the huddle.

So much for Jack being upset.

When the mob starts to break down Cricket notices Jack among their ranks and grabs his jersey to pull him away from Eric. 

“Zimmermann! Get back to your own team!” 

“Mon dieu, t'es beau,” Jack continues talking, refusing to break eye contact even as Bay shoves him back to wrap Eric in a hug of his own.

“Ouais, il est,” Bitty says back, though Jack can’t hear him, skating back to console the Falconers after the loss. “I am. Oh, my god, I am. We won.”

“We won!” Cricket echoes, and the team roars. 

They line up to shake hands and when Jack reaches Eric he says, “I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more than you.”

Eric doesn’t have time to respond before he’s being coaxed along and Tater slaps his hand so hard Eric thinks he might have broken something.

The next few minutes are a blur of screaming, sweaty hugs, candid photos, posed photos, interviews, and distantly he can see his parents with the Zimmermanns behind the glass, waving and waiting to be escorted to the ice. Behind them, Eric can just make out the small hoard of Samwell alums dressed in custom red ‘Bittlemann’ and ‘Zimbits’ jerseys, though Shitty appears to have shed most of his clothing at this point. 

Eric slips away from another reporter and, overwhelmed, can’t quite figure out what to do now. He wants his parents. He wants Jack. He wants to lift the fucking Stanley Cup.

They’re rolling out the carpet for the cup presentation and someone is tugging at his arm. Someone that stinks a lot like --

“Jack!” He spins and hugs his boyfriend before remembering there are cameras and pushing away quickly.

“It’s okay,” Jack assures him, pulling him back into a tight hold. “I’m gonna propose,” he huffs against Eric’s sweaty hair, “right here.”

“What? Now?” Eric asks, not sure if its the exhaustion or just generic shock. “I mean, are you going to come out?”

“Right now,” Jack nods, pulling back with a goofy grin. “But only if you want to.”

The music is deafening and out of the corner of his eye, Eric can see Cricket grinning like a loon before a swarm of reporters and several cameras. They’re bringing out the cup, and Eric doesn’t exactly care because Jack’s going to come out. And he just proposed that he is planning to propose?

Maybe he has a concussion. Maybe he’s not thinking clearly because is what universe does Jack lose the Stanley Cup, come out, and propose to Eric at the same time?

“But you lost,” Eric says gently, afraid Jack’s about to realize he’s made a mistake. 

“And you won,” Jack counters, just as gently, cupping Bitty’s face. “And you have no idea how proud I am. Six years ago you’d pass out if you got hit. Tonight you ran me into the boards twice!”

“Cause you were being an asshole, Sweetpea,” Eric defends, fighting the warmth rising in his cheeks.

“And it was great, but you know who helped you through that? I did,” Jack grins. “Checked you so many times you forgot you hated me. So, it’s a bit like I won too, you know? I got to see the man I love, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, fearless.”

Oh. That’s. 

Eric grabs a handful of Jack’s jersey and pulls him down into a kiss, heedless of the flashing lights and screaming spectators. When they separate Jack’s expression is dazed.

“So you’ll marry me?” Jack cradles Eric’s sweaty face and peppers kisses across his cheek. “Please say yes. Make it official.”

Eric grins and tucks his face against Jack’s neck, “Yes, I will marry you.”

They’d discussed it before, in the same half-measures and what-ifs that always circled conversations about their relationship and Jack’s eventual coming out. 

Somewhere between the playoffs and this moment, Jack must have made peace with his demons because he’s here now, declaring his love on the biggest stage he could possibly find. It’s only by the grace of the hockey gods that no reporters have managed to stick a microphone between them yet. 

Then Eric blinks, noticing Sorenson’s blond head in the crowd, and he has a bold, terrible, horrible, wonderful idea.

“Sorenson is ordained,” Eric says, just loud enough for Jack to hear. “Our family and friends are here. What about right now?” 

“Right now?” Jack stares at Eric and grins like he hasn’t just lost Game 7 of the finals. Like Eric isn’t about to hoist the cup. Like they didn’t just out themselves on national television.

“That’s crazy,” he breathes, pulling Eric into another kiss. “Let’s do it.”

Something bubbles up in Eric’s stomach. Butterflies? Adrenaline? Sheer joy? Perhaps all of the above?

Carter swings by with a stack of hats and shoves one on Eric’s head so the brim knocks against Jack’s nose. “Stop macking on your man and come lift the fucking cup!”

Jack laughs and shoves the cap out of his face. “Carter, we’re getting married. Right now. Grab Sorenson.”

Morin freezes. “No shit? Can I be his best man?”

“Sure, just get Andrew before it’s too late. We have to kiss when Bits lifts the cup.”

Morin retreats and Jack takes Eric’s face in his hands again. 

“You sure this is what you want, Bits?” Jack asks, brow furrowed slightly. “I’m all for it, but if we wait for everyone to get over here we’ll be swarmed. We have to do this right now.”

Eric pulls Jack’s hands down into his own and smiles up at his fiancé (fiancé!). “I’m okay with that if you are.”

Sorenson skates over with Bay and Morin, interrupting the moment. “What’s this about you getting married?”

“You’re still ordained, right? We want you to marry us.” Eric explains. “Like right now.”

Sorenson looks at Morin. “Is this legit?”

“Why would we lie about this?” Bay shoves Sorenson’s shoulder. “C’mon, you in or out?”

“What, now? I mean, yeah, I can, but shit, Bittle, you’re putting me on the spot, you have vows? Rings?” Eric shakes his head and Jack must mirror the action because Andrew just groans and rips off his hat. “Fuck guys, fine. I’ve never done a gay wedding, but okay.”

He motions for them to scoot closer. “Uh, dearly beloved --”

Eric sees an NBC reporter hovering nearby and snaps his fingers to interrupt. “No time, skip to the end.”

“Bridezilla over here -- do you, Eric Bittle, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold in sickness and in health yadda yadda yadda?”

“I do,” Eric says, taking Jack’s hand and squeezing tight.

“And do you, Jack Zimmermann, take Eric Bittle to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Definitely,” Jack breathes, smiling so hard Eric thinks his chapped lips might split. 

“Then by the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church, you fuckers are married.” Andrew waves his arms half-heartedly. “But not totally. You still need paperwork, and Morin and Bay are your witnesses.”

“Sick!” Bay high-fives Morin.

Eric tugs the sleeve of Jack’s jersey. “Hey, we still need to kiss.”

“Not yet,” Jack warns. “We should both be touching the cup when we share our first kiss as a married couple.”

A few short years ago, Eric would have laughed outright at Jack’s superstitions. But now? 

“Lord Stanley will bless the union, and the league will fear our power,” Eric jokes, only half-kidding when Jack’s smile turns just a little self-indulgent. 

“Bittle!” Someone yells, and Jack shoos him away.

“Go be with your team!”

“I think I’d rather be with my husband,” Eric says, and Jack flushes pink before Eric looses sight again, Carter dragging him bodily back to the reporters and the cup. He blinks and he’s standing beside his captain while the world narrows to the trophy held above his head.

“Congratulations, kid,” Cricket grins, handing the cup to Eric. “You’ve earned this.”

Eric grips the metal tight and feels the weight of it for the first time. Not just the 35 pounds of silver and nickel, but the weight of a legacy far bigger than any one player. 

He stops fighting the urge to be presentable, lifts the cup high and screams, forcing every painful moment in his entire life out into one throat-shredding cry. 

For every church lady who looked down her nose at him and talked to Mama about ‘camps’, for every relative who described his love of figure skating as ‘faggy’, for the classmates who wouldn’t sit next to him and the junior varsity football players that actually tried to kill him . . .

For every person that every tried to make him think he was less than. 

Fuck you.

His cheeks are wet, the crowd is going nuts, and his parents are crying. 

Bob has an arm around his father’s shoulder and Coach is crying.

He needs to pass the cup on, but he’s not ready yet. He scans quickly for Jack’s name from the previous year, and when he finds it he brings the cup to his lips, pressing firmly enough he’s sure ‘ZIMMERMANN’ can be read plain-as-day on his lips.

‘Thank you for giving me this,’ Eric thinks, blocking out everything else for just a moment. ‘And thank you for giving us Jack.’ 

He blinks against the lights and finds Jack in the crowd, beaming beside his parents. 

It’s time. 

Eric makes a b-line to his family (His family!) and stops short of Jack. 

“Hey,” he says, suddenly hoarse with the realization that this is his husband. He’s married (kinda), he’s holding the Stanley Cup in front of everyone he’s ever cared about, and Jack Zimmermann’s ass will forever belong to Eric Richard Bittle.

“Hey, Bits,” Jack replies, barely audibly over Shitty, Lardo, Ransom, and Holster chanting ‘Bittle, Bittle, Bittle.’ Eric motions up with his chin and Jack reaches up to cover Eric’s fingers with his own until the cup’s weight is split between them. 

By now word has spread and every camera in the arena is trained on them, but he tunes out the crowd, his teammates, the reporters, his friends, his parents and his in-laws, and he leans in to capture Jack’s lips.

It’s not their first kiss, but it might as well be.

[granteares]

jack “dad” zimmermann

sorry not sorry @kentparseparson and i came up with this ridiculous headcanon that definitely needed to be shared with the world

one of the frogs (probably chowder *war flashbacks to 3.15 blog post*) accidentally calls jack “dad”, oops

inevitably, it becomes a SMH meme so fast, they all start calling jack “dad”

except bitty. bitty is 100% banned from calling jack “dad”.

anyway jack gets??? so used to people calling him “dad” by the time he graduates that when some random kid is talking to their actual father like “hey dad” jack turns around like “yeah???” and the falcs are like ??? you’re not a dad ??? right????

you’ve clearly never met the samwell men’s hockey team

SMH gets out to one of jack’s games and literally all of them are wearing shirts that say “jack zimmermann is my father” and made signs like “go dad!!!!”

falcs: aw look jack ur kids are so supportive that’s beautiful (((:

jack: i have no friends in this world

and you know the falcs join in after a while of course

marty: hey dad can you pass me my water bottle

jack: you are literally older than me

tater: wow dad you playing so great, hoping i’m being big hockey star like you when i’m being grown-up

jack: go away tater i’m trying to eat my pb&j

kent somehow manages to get hold of a “jack zimmermann is my father” shirt

which marks the day that kent is also 100% banned from calling jack “dad”

bitty and kent bond over this and become best friends

it also marks the day that the jack “dad” zimmermann meme continues to spread from samwell to providence to fucking las vegas

everyone on the aces start calling him “dad”, too

aces player when jack checks him: what the fuck dad, i thought we were cool

aces goalie when jack scores: dad is that any way to treat your son

jack: *so dumbfounded he forgets how to play hockey for a minute*

the aces starting buying jack so much “#1 Hockey Dad” shit

when the aces win the cup one of them is like “i want to thank my dad, jack zimmermann, for always supporting me”

bitty is laughing so hard he falls off the couch

meanwhile jack is just like “he did not just.... say that.... on TV. bitty-- bitty stop laughing you’re supposed to love me bitty please”

espn is confused. baby daddy!jack rumors arise. as does the new “Jack Zimmermann Is My Baby Daddy” meme (and shirts).

(bitty buys 3)

(shity has a crop top)

and if you think bob and alicia zimmermann are innocent during this whole strange phenomenon you’re very wrong

both of them totally get in on the baby daddy rumors. bob fuels the flames “well he did bring that one person over here that one time...” alicia starts asking when she’s going to get to meet her grandchildren, jack.

also bob wearing one of the “jack zimmermann is my father” shirts

jack: ok but dad you’re literally my dad ??? stop ??? why are you like this ???

every week there’s a new rumor over which hockey player jack zimmermann has a child with

SMH does their duty and makes sure to report to jack every time they find a new one

"hey jack why didn't you tell us you had a kid with sid crosby bro that's not a secret you keep from your bros"

the week it’s jack + tater, jack gets nearly simultaneous texts from ransom and kent like  "🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 right in my BACK, zimmermann, i've never been so BETRAYED"

kent and ransom form a Personally Betrayed By Jack Zimmermann For Taking Our Man support group

[savetopnow]

2018-03-25 15 SPORTS now

SPORTS

Barstool Sports

Girl Scouts Change Their Rules And Make It Okay To Sell Girl Scout Cookies In Front Of Weed Dispensaries

College Baseball Announcer Becomes Befuddled While Reading A Pitcher’s Bio Filled With Always Sunny Quotes

Rory McIlroy Announces Tiger Woods Is The Undisputed Greatest Player Of All Time

Is It Acceptable For Some Strange Lady To Take A Selfie With My Dogs Without Permission?

Michael Rapaport gives an inspirational Slam Dunk contest speech and his NBA mid-season awards

Deadspin

Leonard Hamilton Treats Dana Jacobson Like Shit For Asking Totally Legitimate Question

Loyola-Chicago Beats Kansas State, Is First Mid-Major In Final Four Since 2013

Well-Timed Rocket League Respawn Thwarts Goal Attempt

As Bad News Goes, Steph Curry's Injury Update Is Good News

Nathan Chen Wins Men's Figure Skating World Title

ESPN

How each Elite Eight team can reach Columbus

Watch live: Australian Grand Prix

G League player collapses, rushed to hospital

Ohtani off again but Scioscia calls outing 'great'

Rockets set franchise record for most wins in a season, couldn't care less

FiveThirtyEight Sports

The Pacers Are Bucking Every NBA Trend. And It’s Working.

Beside The Points For Thursday, March 22, 2018

Why Gonzaga, Not Kentucky, May Be The Tournament’s Luckiest Team

Who’s The Best At Coaching In The NCAA Men’s Tournament?

The Utah Jazz Might Just Be For Real

Reddit Sports

Jackets' cannon guy does Fortnite dance

The injuries associated with the most popular sports in activities in the U.S

Cheese chasing is a sport.

Anthony Rizzo, other athletes react to, participate in March for Our Lives

Federer with an insane behind the back volley

SB Nation

NCAA hockey tournament scores & highlights

Only .48 percent of brackets on ESPN have Loyola in the Final Four

FSU delivers a bad beat by not fouling Michigan as time expired

Why didn’t Florida State foul at the end of its Elite Eight loss to Michigan?

Michigan beats FSU to advance to the Final Four

Sports Illustrated

Michigan's Charles Matthews Doesn't Know Who Sister Jean Is

WGC- Dell Technologies Match Play: Sunday Tee Times, TV Schedule, Live Stream

Leonard Hamilton on Florida State Not Fouling in Final Seconds: 'The Game Was Over'

Even the Walk-On Gets Into the Act as Loyola-Chicago Plays Its Way to Final Four

Bill Self and Kansas Brace to Confront Their Elite Eight Demons Against Duke

The Ringer

Why on Earth Didn’t Florida State Foul Michigan at the End?

The Elite 8 Is Set and the Blue Bloods (Finally) Show Up

Jack White Can’t Help Himself

How to Fall in Love With a Team in the NCAA Tournament

The Winners and Losers From the Sweet 16

Yahoo! Sports

Loyola is the feel-good story the sport needed

Ohtani uneven in final spring pitching appearance for Angels

Kevin Durant on Warriors injuries: “There’s nothing to worry about”

Roger Federer announces he will miss entire clay-court season after losing to Thanasi Kokkinakis in Miami

Lakers News: Channing Frye Believes 'A Lot' Of NBA Free Agents Will Want To Play With Lonzo Ball, Kyle Kuzma And Brandon Ingram

[dwdelaney-blog]

aug2018

8/6

from what I understand one of the reasons this has been going on for as long as it has is because of the "po"

they are among the defs. in spi and in other places they were involved in the pain and sleep deprivation as a form of entertainment. if what people are saying is true, that the defs lost all their appeals, the police are still involved in propping up the defs and failing to enforce the law as determined by the court.

the po has said that they simply disagree w/ the court on the issue of my situation and instead will follow the guidance of bob gray and his political coalition within the rnc

the po was busted hard as they communicated with each other in order to position squad cars upwind of me. those communications where recorded and used as evidence and it was one of the reasons that the legal judgement was as high as it was

because pol power was used to distort the law enforcement profession. the judgment was intended to serve as deterrent from such behavior in the future. instead, what has happened is a real lesson in political power. for everyone involved. I can't make this shit up. people are saying this stuff is true. it is hard for me to believe, and others can't say anything about and like it or not, that leaves it up to me to say it. I am trying to get these people to stop.

gnutek was right and pols - scso - spd - ing - celletti - Cletus

and note the cmdr - smith - team mack - swimmers - mp - ing - badgers - keen - knights - roth - xa ron stone - pb - xa complaint w/ spd ia - ron stone - jeffe ron - ronsumate - mcds - chigop - civilaffers - xa ron stone - burson - pr - paulino - garbage trucks - mace - chainey - wolfman - d/d - xa lon - chemlawn - zito - pesticides - insecticides - xa security - ierc - police - cwlp - Wackenhut - Carlucci - securitas - guards - courthouse - county jail - I have had a lot of problems w/ police in different cities - much of that is in the form of swatting - and getting tickets for public defecation when forced to do so, by the po - or someone they know about - ierc - perc - guards - cra - the po knows what's going on w/ me - they are involved - they could stop if they wanted

8/7 notepad

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uPJjmwGuvV5IIi290rhAtZ4-v82hdvEF/view?usp=sharing

8/8 notepad

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1N_RfH7htdSS-8ctE8MtoDFGtY6rPuzbp/view?usp=sharing

8/10

aux police - like deps in tx - xa mp ing - and guards - xa vala guards and dpr violation - see esp stl roth recruits - and hou civaff - pbpa fundraiser - ron stone - keen - ing - liuna - schaive - knights - and see cwlp guard - fuiten - robinson - ny work stoppage - tusk - bad cop - tlc - care/of - lemonade - they made me put "nix" in my hair to get rid of the lice - that's why they said they would have to keep me in a cell by myself - xa team mack - stevie nix - xa acme - roadrunners - lincoln - 33rd - ala - wharton - trump - penn - susan - tricksters - genetic sample - fla - orlando - ackermann - terry nelson and duane gibson - chigop - kjell bc04 - xa spfld consulting - hoffstetler - sjh gift store - xa shg links - madonia - shs senators - centaurs - thompson and rnc - agriculture - xa orlando saathoff - iaff - tweet - osfm heminghous - arson frame - osfm is next to hodge dwyer in spfld - xa adolph - ak - hanson - palin - spi hockey blues - hockey players involved in spi chem - and see ipi and "tile" man - ipi is tobacco and liquor lobby in spfld - xa koch bros - whigs - pii - ets. peeps - humint - ic - chamber ic - ibt in ic - hair loss in ftl - when i worked at the theater and lived near bayshore 1999? - sometime before i stayed there in 2001-2002 - my hair started coming out in clumps - I had a bad cough - stayed next to a place called principles - carlyle - sembler seed - alco frame - don't know what to think about tusk - he was depty gov - he was comm dir for schumer and schumer is durbin roomate - start ups seem to point to the idea that he is "in on the fun" - "lemonade" is a simpson's reference for example - or is that just my imagination - i don't think it is - I can't tell if it true that this whole thing could stop if the police would enforce the law as determined by the court - if their was a case - and i "won" - is it true that the police could stop this thing - they know what's going on - they are involved - is that who is keeping me living like this - is their a conflict b/t the po and city - the mayor - on how to enforce the caselaw - the decision of the court as regards my situation specifically - if the po won't enforce the law - how does this end

8/11

mute watchdog - tx - midland - oipr - wal - gwb - tx Galveston - Sylvester - kbh - ed smith - spi - liuna - schaive - industrial chemical - Grandview - carlock - rosemary long - longies - ports - hou - civaff - deps - cleat - johnny ford - wal in tx - mgrs. - Annette - dow chem - hanson - rentacenter job - xa terry nelson - duane Gibson - Ackermann - fla - brooks bros - swift & blessing - ilgop - chigop - bc04 - kjell - tennis - us open is in town - old neighbor claims link to consent - or someone else claims consent and uses link to old neighbor as excuse - xa wal and yrs schweska - and nature of claim against wal as nationwide - fed claim is another reason legal judgment was so high - the chem by wal emps crosses state lines and shows coordination and communication - and knowledge by upper mgmt. - not store by store - not also communication re materials and methods - xa tx Comcast - Carlisle - Dutton bonilla - capranica in spi - kc's - cable trucks - tx was where they ran a homicidal threats frame - claimed I threatened to kill gov perry and gwb - mobilizes opposition from deps - partisans - usss - po etc - xa wal and badgers - nsa - arc - cra - sierra - kyotes - dingoes - ky - aqui - here - night mgr - john Coltrane - indigo - mood indigo - moo wal - moo ufcw - jail time - mustache - gentlemen - ipi - gentlemen - moo cows - res - beef - moos - museum - where's the beef - roadrunners - teamac - wiley - principal - wild cats - feral - hefferon

8/12

Board games -

JALE

Lincoln extensions – usis – ala – 33rd – 233 – keen – Gillette – airport fd – gleason – heminghous –

Professional courtesy guy – Gillette – sd Wilkinson – calloway – liuna schaive – liuna ed smith – industrial chem – rosemary long – Thompson – mp – night mgr – Thompson bldg. chi – att corp symbol – lucas museum –

Cards – gwb – bunn – busch – auger – mi 10th – gomer pyle – comida – funny – fud – glu – swimmers – comed – comida/comedy – civaff – college of cardinals – aprop chairs – ldrshp – rnc – neighbors – op – heffe ron – happy daze – pr – civaff – h/k – tusk is pr – regulatory issues – "compliance" – dude's a fixer – and trades on clout – like papi -  

Indulgence -

notepad 8/13

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JQxIIEJ9u03PLH4NN58scrlsg3ajsn8c/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o2E4DAK6fGIXE3i-p6ADVmMipxSERIYt/view?usp=sharing

8/14

Marty - krewes - fool - krekels Roa - centcom - aor - motley Tribeca

Moo - fascism -schismatic bishops - bennes

Centcom - lincoln - 33rd - ala - mitrovich - roadrunners - windows - sere - preston - suri - expo - spfld consulting - lincoln cab - amb - sjh guards - vaq 209 -

Al - shoes - new salem - spfld armory - guards - santanna - fibro - sleep deprivation - henkel - van meter mmc - sium - dod funding - pesticides insecticides - op -illinois evening republican club - a. Lincoln - vols at alplm involved in chem - Big russ - fudd - sfd - xa malta - pringle - moo - sere

notepad 8/15

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xEub4NnYu7eCa4O-5Y2FtiwKrcT9O2Ia/view?usp=sharing

8/19

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GPORGuK8llTiRot7lxq7eeNGklpyZPYp/view?usp=sharing

aug2018

aug201https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nck06CXQbpqrRoODqBv48l53jpy9LK-y/view?usp=sharing

8/13

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-VeBSFfHH874H-fhq80eNMWGMSIEV1zy/view?usp=sharing

8/24

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1J7aI7YUnzursqyQmdPvuUE2T3JzBN9gR/view?usp=sharing

8/25

James elmer mitchell

I can't make this shit up

Researched pompeo yesterday

8/26

Elmer

Spk was bad - the place on boone - they filmed the whole thing - the rotc at the gym - the psych dept at gu - the russians that would follow me to different places on campus - it made me dizzy xa drug frame and red eyes - adolph and spi link - cwlpdir - and skylstadt and usccb - haspel is wildcat - wild wild thoughts - louisville - she was chosen to send a message like pompeo - some guy about a foot taller than me and about 100 lbs heavier walked up to me while in spk - never seen him before - punches me twice in the nose as hard as he can - breaks my nose - walks up to me out of nowhere - then a car pulls up a door opens and he gets in - this was the olfactory aspect of the fibro - note also sleep deprivation - henkel is an expert in the rel b/t sleep and pain and fibro - colorless odorless gas - op etc - that causes pain and doesn’t leave marks and the hypersensitivity means that the level of toxicity can be very low - publicly available insecticides and pesticides

Paprocki and ipi

8/29

Herr - glu - wharton - ad - race - roadrunners - chigop - hic - john coltrane - mood indigo - kurtz - pace - rabbit - xa rance - gop - ing 404th celletti - lincoln cab - train horn - toots - gu tony - pence - ghs football field - hair - airport landmark - ima nam -

8/30

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kOdHLEg0ITCEKByP6UgiWkhP8crTqSzgrPLZESlzwmA/edit?usp=sharing

9/2

They are doing defecation stim in public places - like that emoji movieVan meter and scb - peroni - sports talk radio - xa espn getup - toupe whigs - they wanted ab for the joker movie - cletus - cat - ima nam - club - mace palino - peple are saying the defs lost in court - they want to try the case in public -

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

NCAA Men’s Tournament Vs. Women’s Tournament: Who Ya Got?

Both the men’s and women’s NCAA college basketball tournaments concluded this week. They were a celebration of everything we love about college athletics—entertainment through unpaid labor, gambling on schools you couldn’t find on a map, and cursing teenagers that have blown up your bracket.

This was March (and April, I guess).

In what has become a yearly tradition like no other, people spent the past month arguing about which tournament is better. On one side, there’s ESPN’s Darren Rovell offering insightful commentary like “this is bad for women’s basketball” and on the other side, there’s… well, it doesn’t matter. A good rule of thumb is never find yourself on the same side as Darren Rovell, no matter the topic.

Luckily for you, I am here to break down both tournaments objectively to determine which tournament was better. Let’s look at each tournament’s highlights, lowlights, and everything in between to see if the men or women will have bragging rights.

BEST 1 VS. 16 STORY

Men: No. 16 University of Maryland-Baltimore County not only defeated top-seeded Virginia, the Retrievers destroyed the Cavaliers 74-54

We waited decades for a No. 16 to upset a No. 1 on the men’s side and somehow this felt anticlimactic. It was over with about 10 minutes to go, which took the air out of a historic night. And if a No. 1 was to lose in the first round, wasn’t it always destined to be Virginia, a team that always seems to be ranked high despite it feeling like an accomplishment when it breaks 70 points? It’s like when Sean Bean turns out to be the bad guy in a movie. You’re like, “Ohhhh, right, I should have seen that coming.”

Women: No. 1 UConn obliterates No. 16 St. Francis (Pa.) 140-52, the second-biggest blowout in women’s tournament history

Here’s where the wet-headed press release rewriter comes in. Rovell took a screenshot of the final score and wondered if this was bad for the women’s game. You sort of understand his point—if UConn is just rolling teams until the Final Four, what’s the point of watching? While you get from where that thought originates, you would realize it’s also a stupid point if you give it just an extra five seconds to roll around your brand-addled brain.

You know why UConn smashing a school to smithereens is good? For the same reason Golden State demolishing teams on the way to 70-plus win seasons is good: it gets people talking and thinking about your game. I’d say it’s more likely people will watch if they know a bringer of destruction is playing a sport; golf was never more popular than when Tiger Woods was destroying the field every weekend. If UConn beats St. Francis by 20 or 30, nobody cares. Any college basketball team dropping 140 points is great for college basketball, because holy shit, they scored 140 points!

Another way you know this is a bad argument is if a men’s team won by the same score, nobody would wonder if it was bad for men’s college basketball. If Kansas beats Holy Cross 155-60, nobody is writing think pieces about how it’s bad for the men’s game.

ADVANTAGE: Men’s basketball

While beating a team by 88 points is great, UConn beat Baylor by 89 points last year (and women’s college basketball somehow survived) so it’s not like UConn broke new ground. A 16 beating a 1 for the first time on the men’s side is historic and it’s fun as hell that it happened to an ACC team we all dislike (it should have been you, Duke).

BEST CHAMPIONSHIP GAME START TIME

Men: 9:20 PM ET

Fuck off, man.

Women: 6:07 PM ET

God bless you.

ADVANTAGE: Women’s basketball

All Stanley Cup Final games start at 8 PM ET, which is the perfect compromise between coasts. If you genuinely care about hockey, you will find your way in front of a TV by puck drop on the left coast. It’s bad enough people in the Pacific time zone have better start times for NFL Sundays and superior weather year-round, but you’re going to make us East Coasters wait until 9 m-effing 20 to watch the men’s final? Eat shit, California!

Arike Ogunbowale hit her buzzer-beater at about 8:10 PM. ET, right around the time Bill Raftery was waking up from his pregame nap Monday. Sports always want to “grow the game” and I’d say starting a game when a good chunk of the country’s children are asleep does not help. Let’s stop kowtowing to California! Begin games at 8 PM!

BEST CINDERELLA STORY

Men: No. 11 Loyola-Chicago reached the Final Four and gave Michigan a game before succumbing in the second half

Did anyone write anything about this team? There was an old lady in a wheelchair, too, I think. I never caught her name but she loved the team.

Women: No. 11 seeds Buffalo and Central Michigan reached the Sweet 16 before losing to higher-seeded teams

The Final Four was all 1 seeds and the lowest-seeded team in the Elite Eight was No. 6 Oregon State.

ADVANTAGE: Men’s basketball

You’re not beating an 11 seed reaching the Final Four. I was as sick of Sister Jean as the next person pretending they weren’t sick of three weeks of Sister Jean but you’re not going to top that story for a long time.

BEST FORMAT

Men: Two 20-minute halves

I never realized how garbage this format was until I watched the women’s games (the NIT also uses the four-quarter format). A TV timeout every four minutes sucks and sometimes you need to see a better option to understand how the option you’ve always seen sucks. So, now I know: this format sucks.

Women: Four ten-minute quarters

The men’s game has media timeouts at under 16, 12, eight, and four minutes; the women go to the commercial with under five minutes to go each quarter and at the end of the first and third quarters, so you get fewer stoppages. Again, stop and think about how crazy it is that men’s college basketball stops every four minutes, and that’s without either team calling a timeout.

The women went to this format in 2015, and I say this as someone that doesn’t watch much women’s college basketball, that extra minute and one fewer break makes a world of difference.

ADVANTAGE: Women’s basketball

I feel like I already explained myself above. I don’t care about the difference in how fouls are treated—it’s a one-and-one when a team hits seven fouls and two shots at ten fouls in the men’s game while the women’s game has teams shoot two shots once there are five fouls in a quarter—but the switch to four quarters was designed to improve game flow. It does.

BEST CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

Men: I fell asleep at halftime but I think Villanova beat Michigan

Once the Italian guy started hitting 30-foot threes late in the first half, you knew this was over. This was like when Gerry McNamara hit all those three in the first half for Syracuse in the 2003 championship game against Kansas, only Kansas actually closed the gap in the second half.

Women: Arike Ogunbowale hit a last-second, fade away three-pointer to lift Notre Dame over Mississippi State, two days after she hit a last-second shot in overtime to knock out UConn

Not only did the game end before most cities’ streetlights warmed up, it ended in insanely great fashion. I must’ve missed the Rovell tweet that wondered if these endings were good for women’s college basketball (for real though, I may have missed them because Rovell has me blocked, but I’ll assume he ignored it and tweeted some shit about Marlins Man’s brand value).

ADVANTAGE: Women’s basketball

It’s not even close.

BEST TOURNAMENT

ADVANTAGE: NONE!

There is nothing wrong with liking or not liking a sport. But if you don’t like a sport, you don’t have to be a dick about it. Or, better yet, if you don’t like a sport, that’s fine, but it doesn’t have to always be a comparison. I hate soccer and will make jokes about soccer but I don’t need to proclaim that another sport is better than soccer whenever someone mentions soccer. I will instead make fun of Americans that set an alarm on a weekend for the purpose of waking up at sunrise to watch Figgy Pudding United tussle with Bangers And Mash FC because you decided a year ago to be a Figgy Pudding supporter.

There are cool aspects to the men’s game that don’t exist in the women’s game and vice versa, much the way there are cool aspects that exist in one sport and not in other sports. Not everything must be a pissing a contest or a comparison. Yeah, men will give you more dunks but they will also give you more brick-ass jumpers.

Enjoying both is allowed! Enjoying both to different degrees is allowed! And if you’re still beating the “Women’s sports are boring” drum after watching Notre Dame’s Final Four run, and the relative snoozefest that was Villanova’s Final Four run, you are 100 percent full of shit. Open your mind to the possibility of other sports being good and you will have more fun as a fan. Consider it next March.

NCAA Men’s Tournament Vs. Women’s Tournament: Who Ya Got? syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com

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NCAA Men's Tournament Vs. Women's Tournament: Who Ya Got?

Both the men’s and women’s NCAA college basketball tournaments concluded this week. They were a celebration of everything we love about college athletics—entertainment through unpaid labor, gambling on schools you couldn’t find on a map, and cursing teenagers that have blown up your bracket.

This was March (and April, I guess).

In what has become a yearly tradition like no other, people spent the past month arguing about which tournament is better. On one side, there’s ESPN’s Darren Rovell offering insightful commentary like “this is bad for women’s basketball” and on the other side, there’s... well, it doesn’t matter. A good rule of thumb is never find yourself on the same side as Darren Rovell, no matter the topic.

Luckily for you, I am here to break down both tournaments objectively to determine which tournament was better. Let’s look at each tournament’s highlights, lowlights, and everything in between to see if the men or women will have bragging rights.

BEST 1 VS. 16 STORY

Men: No. 16 University of Maryland-Baltimore County not only defeated top-seeded Virginia, the Retrievers destroyed the Cavaliers 74-54

We waited decades for a No. 16 to upset a No. 1 on the men’s side and somehow this felt anticlimactic. It was over with about 10 minutes to go, which took the air out of a historic night. And if a No. 1 was to lose in the first round, wasn’t it always destined to be Virginia, a team that always seems to be ranked high despite it feeling like an accomplishment when it breaks 70 points? It’s like when Sean Bean turns out to be the bad guy in a movie. You’re like, “Ohhhh, right, I should have seen that coming.”

Women: No. 1 UConn obliterates No. 16 St. Francis (Pa.) 140-52, the second-biggest blowout in women’s tournament history

Here’s where the wet-headed press release rewriter comes in. Rovell took a screenshot of the final score and wondered if this was bad for the women’s game. You sort of understand his point—if UConn is just rolling teams until the Final Four, what’s the point of watching? While you get from where that thought originates, you would realize it’s also a stupid point if you give it just an extra five seconds to roll around your brand-addled brain.

You know why UConn smashing a school to smithereens is good? For the same reason Golden State demolishing teams on the way to 70-plus win seasons is good: it gets people talking and thinking about your game. I’d say it’s more likely people will watch if they know a bringer of destruction is playing a sport; golf was never more popular than when Tiger Woods was destroying the field every weekend. If UConn beats St. Francis by 20 or 30, nobody cares. Any college basketball team dropping 140 points is great for college basketball, because holy shit, they scored 140 points!

Another way you know this is a bad argument is if a men’s team won by the same score, nobody would wonder if it was bad for men’s college basketball. If Kansas beats Holy Cross 155-60, nobody is writing think pieces about how it’s bad for the men’s game.

ADVANTAGE: Men’s basketball

While beating a team by 88 points is great, UConn beat Baylor by 89 points last year (and women’s college basketball somehow survived) so it’s not like UConn broke new ground. A 16 beating a 1 for the first time on the men’s side is historic and it’s fun as hell that it happened to an ACC team we all dislike (it should have been you, Duke).

BEST CHAMPIONSHIP GAME START TIME

Men: 9:20 PM ET

Fuck off, man.

Women: 6:07 PM ET

God bless you.

ADVANTAGE: Women’s basketball

All Stanley Cup Final games start at 8 PM ET, which is the perfect compromise between coasts. If you genuinely care about hockey, you will find your way in front of a TV by puck drop on the left coast. It’s bad enough people in the Pacific time zone have better start times for NFL Sundays and superior weather year-round, but you’re going to make us East Coasters wait until 9 m-effing 20 to watch the men’s final? Eat shit, California!

Arike Ogunbowale hit her buzzer-beater at about 8:10 PM. ET, right around the time Bill Raftery was waking up from his pregame nap Monday. Sports always want to “grow the game” and I’d say starting a game when a good chunk of the country’s children are asleep does not help. Let’s stop kowtowing to California! Begin games at 8 PM!

BEST CINDERELLA STORY

Men: No. 11 Loyola-Chicago reached the Final Four and gave Michigan a game before succumbing in the second half

Did anyone write anything about this team? There was an old lady in a wheelchair, too, I think. I never caught her name but she loved the team.

Women: No. 11 seeds Buffalo and Central Michigan reached the Sweet 16 before losing to higher-seeded teams

The Final Four was all 1 seeds and the lowest-seeded team in the Elite Eight was No. 6 Oregon State.

ADVANTAGE: Men’s basketball

You’re not beating an 11 seed reaching the Final Four. I was as sick of Sister Jean as the next person pretending they weren’t sick of three weeks of Sister Jean but you’re not going to top that story for a long time.

BEST FORMAT

Men: Two 20-minute halves

I never realized how garbage this format was until I watched the women’s games (the NIT also uses the four-quarter format). A TV timeout every four minutes sucks and sometimes you need to see a better option to understand how the option you’ve always seen sucks. So, now I know: this format sucks.

Women: Four ten-minute quarters

The men’s game has media timeouts at under 16, 12, eight, and four minutes; the women go to the commercial with under five minutes to go each quarter and at the end of the first and third quarters, so you get fewer stoppages. Again, stop and think about how crazy it is that men’s college basketball stops every four minutes, and that’s without either team calling a timeout.

The women went to this format in 2015, and I say this as someone that doesn’t watch much women’s college basketball, that extra minute and one fewer break makes a world of difference.

ADVANTAGE: Women’s basketball

I feel like I already explained myself above. I don't care about the difference in how fouls are treated—it’s a one-and-one when a team hits seven fouls and two shots at ten fouls in the men’s game while the women’s game has teams shoot two shots once there are five fouls in a quarter—but the switch to four quarters was designed to improve game flow. It does.

BEST CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

Men: I fell asleep at halftime but I think Villanova beat Michigan

Once the Italian guy started hitting 30-foot threes late in the first half, you knew this was over. This was like when Gerry McNamara hit all those three in the first half for Syracuse in the 2003 championship game against Kansas, only Kansas actually closed the gap in the second half.

Women: Arike Ogunbowale hit a last-second, fade away three-pointer to lift Notre Dame over Mississippi State, two days after she hit a last-second shot in overtime to knock out UConn

Not only did the game end before most cities’ streetlights warmed up, it ended in insanely great fashion. I must’ve missed the Rovell tweet that wondered if these endings were good for women’s college basketball (for real though, I may have missed them because Rovell has me blocked, but I’ll assume he ignored it and tweeted some shit about Marlins Man’s brand value).

ADVANTAGE: Women’s basketball

It’s not even close.

BEST TOURNAMENT

ADVANTAGE: NONE!

There is nothing wrong with liking or not liking a sport. But if you don’t like a sport, you don’t have to be a dick about it. Or, better yet, if you don’t like a sport, that’s fine, but it doesn’t have to always be a comparison. I hate soccer and will make jokes about soccer but I don’t need to proclaim that another sport is better than soccer whenever someone mentions soccer. I will instead make fun of Americans that set an alarm on a weekend for the purpose of waking up at sunrise to watch Figgy Pudding United tussle with Bangers And Mash FC because you decided a year ago to be a Figgy Pudding supporter.

There are cool aspects to the men’s game that don’t exist in the women’s game and vice versa, much the way there are cool aspects that exist in one sport and not in other sports. Not everything must be a pissing a contest or a comparison. Yeah, men will give you more dunks but they will also give you more brick-ass jumpers.

Enjoying both is allowed! Enjoying both to different degrees is allowed! And if you're still beating the "Women's sports are boring" drum after watching Notre Dame's Final Four run, and the relative snoozefest that was Villanova's Final Four run, you are 100 percent full of shit. Open your mind to the possibility of other sports being good and you will have more fun as a fan. Consider it next March.

NCAA Men's Tournament Vs. Women's Tournament: Who Ya Got? published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/