#especially when its just me... and i suck at sticking with that and holding myself accountable and giving a shit about myself

[bloodcoveredgf]

i literally cannot keep living like this

[stupidrant]

I salute to you and thank you for your service 🫡😔

u guys weren’t there in 2018 fighting the atreus annoying and useless allegations like i was. i was on the front lines

[bwskj]

- nsfw mdi ! -

tags: re2/re4 leon x reader, hands-free, making him watch, bj, slight mention of bondage, jerking off

i need my needy baby in my mouth rn :((

-~- <3 -~-

leon’s wrists are tied up behind him with a piece of cloth. tied tight enough to keep him somehow restrained though you know he can break free from it if he really wants to.

you have him sitting on the edge of the bed, pants roughly pulled down halfway while his boxers are still mostly on. his curved hard cock is sticking out and standing against the garter.

after a long day, all you want is to have leon’s starved dick in your mouth, pleasing yourself for the most part ‘cause you just love the way he fits tight in your mouth. his leaking member always tastes so sweet, most especially after days of not being touched since leon’s either tired or so busy with work. when you finally get the familiar taste of his pre-cum again, your taste buds get so excited that you make more than enough saliva to coat the entire thing.

you want to busy yourself with sucking him off, all your attention directed towards his cock and nothing else. slowly bobbing your head up and down his whole shaft, swiveling your wet tongue around his girth, all while your palms are flat on the mattress beside him. you let your mouth do all the dirty work. hearing leon’s whimpers and feeling his cock buck up against your palate is already making you so wet. so turned on just thinking about how you’ve got your baby boy all needy and vulnerable with just the use of your mouth.

you glide your fingers outside your soaked panties while you continue to suck him off. knowing that you’re making him feel good is making you so horny you just might cum right there and then. when your jaw gets tired, you pull up a bit, circling your tongue around his red tip. you close any gaps, sucking him up and pulling away with a pop. leon utters out shaky moans when his dick leaves your mouth. you know his wrists are itching to slip out of the makeshift handcuffs he’s tied in. he’s likely wanting to just grab you by your hair and shove your face back down onto his dick.

he did it once before, cumming so strongly and so sudden down your throat. he got what he wanted but you didn’t let him fuck you for a week.

leon knows it’s best to keep still this time. the way his rock hard cock twitches in front of your face tells you that he’s close to cumming. his sharp gasps and screwed expression on his face tells you he’s trying to keep it in. you stare at him as you touch yourself more properly this time, rubbing your hot clit through the cloth and moaning when you feel pleasure hit you. you love it when leon watches you with those eyes, so soft and full of desire; it’s adorable.

he can’t hold eye contact for long so he tilts his head back. you’ll let out a louder moan as you watch his bare neck stretch and his adam’s apple bob when he swallows. gosh, you’d kiss all over it if you weren’t so stern on not touching him.

his dick is twitching again. you know he’s just about to reach his limit. he looks away because he knows he’ll cum if he keeps watching you.

and that’s what you want.

“Leon, baby, look at me. Watch me touch myself to you.”

leon huffs out a sound of frustration, conflicted if he should listen to you. In the end, he does, slowly pulling his head down to look back at you. you’ve slipped your hand in your panties by now, fingertips feeling so much better as its raw against your swollen clit.

“Mmphh,” you sound out between pursed lips, eyes flicking from leon’s locked jaw to his erection clearly aching to explode.

“F-fuck,” you can hear leon whisper under his breath, eyes latched onto your fingers, a sort of silhouette moving behind your panty.

you can’t help yourself. you slip two fingers in your pussy and you moan even more indecently than the one before. your knees, knelt before leon on the ground pull wide apart as you start finger fucking your soaking cunt.

“Ha.. ah…” you exhale as you press right on your puffy spot. you get so into it you almost forget leon’s watching. and when your eyes pull up to look at him again, his face has grown even more rigid.

“Do you like this?” you pant out, fingers going in and out at a quick pace and palm drenched and sticky between your slit and panties. you catch sight of leon’s teeth biting on his lower lip.

he hums a short moan and when you look him up and down, you notice his hips are subtly trying to jerk upwards.

“Wanna cum baby?” you ask, mouth ajar as you keep moaning. if you weren’t so horny fucking yourself right now, you’d probably be smirking at leon’s state.

“Mmph..” he inhales sharply, “Shit… baby, please.”

it’s the most coherent sentence he’s said in a hot minute.

“F-fuh… need to cum..” he mumbles.

leon tries his best not to pull his eyes away. and with that, you reward him, pulling the long strip of your panty to the side to expose your bare wet cunt making squelching lewd sounds as your fingers smoothly go in and out.

leon’s breathing is getting more rugged and his body jerks when he catches sight of your pussy. his face is flushed red and his hips are quite obviously humping the air already. “ah… baby.. you’re so pretty. Ha…” he murmurs in between moans.

you pull out your fingers from inside you, placing them all slick-covered back on your clit. leon’s about to cum soon and so are you. you rub your pussy as you watch leon’s stitched brows stitch deeper. his eyes are still on your hand.

you gasp up air as you feel an orgasm coming up. leon’s throbbing cock stretched loud and proud in front of you along with his pathetic whimpers and that oh so cute and handsome face is the most perfect view to cum to. “Ah~ fuck… i’m gonna cum. leon, cum with me? please baby?”

leon lets out a low and almost annoyed groan, so desperate and needing to cum. the speed of your fingers quicken as you see leon’s slight thrusting movements grow more eager as well. you don’t deny yourself the orgasm when you feel it rising in your stomach.

“Leon,” you gasp, “C-cumming.”

leon moans out another “fuck,” eyes lifting to take a look at your lewd face. “Mph… me too, baby,” he quickly whimpers.

you cum, loudly yelping and knees closing in as you continuously rub your orgasm out. leon doesn’t dare tear his stare away as he squeezes his dick and with one big thrust in the air, he cums, groans and moans stuttering out his mouth.

his cum shoots up high and in long thick strips. some of it ends up on your thighs. leon’s a trembling mess all throughout his high. you sit in your own juices, softly panting as you look at the disgustingly pretty sight in front of you.

“Jesus fuck,” leon says in his low and normal register that completely disappears when he’s needy and turned on. “I might actually kill you for this.”

you laugh, covering your snicker with the back of your hand. “Baby, I didn’t do anything. You did all that yourself.”

he frowns as he stares you down, “That shit was so fucking hard. I wanted to cum so bad.”

“And you did,” you say, pushing yourself up the floor. you move closer to him, damp fingers grazing over leon’s chest. leon feels a tingle run up his back from this foreign touch, something he has craved ever since he first saw you today.

“You came really good for me,” you say lovingly, wetting your lips and pressing them onto his. he’s so quick to kiss you back, leaning in with his tongue excitedly swiping over to ask for more. he tries to chase after your lips when you move it to kiss his cheek and jaw. your hand finds it’s way for this first time today onto his still standing cock.

“How about another round, hm?”

—— <3

a/n: … writing this shit made me so fucking horny. school is killing me i need a break. like i actually need his dick in my mouth i’m not kidding. fuckk

anw i haven’t posted in a hot sec but the people need to eat so here… (the people is ‘me’)

love yall, thanks for reading <3

[hunter-burton]

Recently, I’ve developed the headcannon that Alex owns a little sketchbook! Absolutely consumed by this idea, I made a physical “replica” of what I think it would look like- including some of the sketches inside! When making these pages in particular, I actually acted out a specific scenario to help myself figure out what to draw. This fic is that scenario a bit more fleshed out. Enjoy :)

Opening Up

It sucked coming home so late, especially with all that rain. After, yet, another dragging day of witnessing absolute horrors, coming home, Alex practically dropped their body into the door. Upon finally stepping into their house, they clicked the door behind themselves, muffling the sobbing clouds

Their weird ass cat, Clyde, sat at the small, round, dining table. Its yellow eyes blinked, “How was work?”

“Exhausting.” After closing and setting down their umbrella, Alex let out a sigh, lifting their uniform’s heavy coat off their hunched body and hung it on the thin coat hanger. “Y’know, the usual. Just gotta… sit down… maybe make a cup of tea.”

“Want me to make bubble water on the…” the creature traced circles in the air, “hot thing?”

“Stove? Yeah, actually. I’d really appreciate it..” Alex paused, brows furrowed, “Wait- you know how to use that thing?”

It nodded, “You turn on the knobs and, then the, sttt..circle thing.. tops turn red. I’ve seen you do it before.”

“Hm, yeah. That sounds about right.” They eased their boots off by the door, then made their way to the kitchen cabinets, “Have at it. I’ll get you a pot.”

As Alex reached for and opened the cabinet doors, Clyde tilted its head, “What’s in the rest of those little doors?”

“Oh, the cabinets?” Alex handed Clyde a small, metal pot, which it, then, took to the sink and began to fill with water. “Just general kitchen stuff. Pots, pans, spices…” they spoke over the rain hitting the road and the pot’s wet, metal hum, “Not the tea though. That’s kinda more where you’re at- by the sink.”

Once the pot was filled, it stopped the water, passed the pot back to Alex and then began to pull open all the little doors, “What does the tea look like?”

“They should be in little boxes. One should have a bear on it?”

Clyde squinted into one of the drawers, “keeyy… leee… sty.. all?”

Alex raised a brow, “Does the word start with a ‘C’” they traced the letter in the air.

“Yes.”

“‘Celestial!’ That’s them.”

“Alright.” Clyde sifted through the boxes “Which one you want? Green? Sleep?… Gine grr?”

“Ginger? Ginger sounds nice.”

Clyde echoed Alex’s voice, “Ginger it is.”

“Thanks!”

Clyde huffed, “Don’t mention it.” The box rustled as it pulled out a tea packet. To the side of the boxes, it spots a brown oddity in the corner, adorned with colorful stickers. It pulls it out, along with the tea, “Hey, what’s this?”

Lights sparked on in Alex’s eyes, “Oh! That’s my sketch book!” They snatched the thing from its claws and began to flip through the pages, “Man! It’s been forever since I’ve opened this thing… I used to doodle in it all the time before this… fuck-ass job.”

Clyde scrunched up its face, “Doodle?”

“Yeah! Here, I’ll show you- hold on, le’me get a pencil!” Alex set the sketchbook on the dining table and raced to their bedroom and, soon, returned with a yellow pointy thing and a tiny metal object with holes. Over the trash can, they stuck the yellow stick into one of the holes, shedding off what appeared to be wood, then returned to the dining table to flip the sketchbook to a blank sheet. With the dark tip, Alex began to write symbols onto the page, narrating every movement, “I’ll start with a circle… then some rectangles… dot- dot… maybe some squiggles for the hair- then a neck…” with every soft scratch the tip made on the page, a line appeared. It was like watching magic. One moment, there was a blank page, then, the next moment, “Line, line, box box…” Alex drew an arrow and wrote

Me

“…And that’s me!”

Clyde sat there for a moment with its jaw ajar, “gimme that thing.” It held out its claw, then shifted its eyes, remembering the magic word “..please.”

“Pencil.” With a wide smile, Alex dropped the pencil into those claws, then twirled their hand, “give it a whirl!”

Clyde clumsily situated the magic stick into its four fingers, then began to scratch the page with the tip. Lines turned into shapes and shapes turned into little units of invigoration. First, there was the face, then the horns, the uniform stripes down its sleeves, then the large zipper in the center of its chest. Once blank, this section of the page was now Clyde’s closest replica of its reflection. To top off the illustration, it, while admittedly crude, attempted to copy Alex’s arrow and Me.

Arms crossed, Alex sipped on their ginger tea and nodded, “Nice! That’s actually pretty good for your first time!”

It felt as if some tingling force was tugging on the corners of Clyde’s mouth and from the inside of it’s chest. For some reason, though, it didn’t mind- it couldn’t mind. Dismissing the sensation, however, it looked up to its next subject, sitting across from it, and, once again, scratched at the page, lines flowing more than they did before, now that the pencil was solid in its claws. Once the image manifested, Clyde, again, copied the arrow, pointing to the portrait of Alex, writing:

YOU

Seeing that the page was now full, it dropped the pencil.

“Yeah!” Alex took the pencil and wrote the word by Clyde’s drawing of them.

Clyde shifted its eyes to the previous page and up to the writing stuck up in the corner. It pointed to this mysterious text, “What does this, in the corner, mean?”

“That’s the date,” Alex passed the pencil back to Clyde, “I always jot it down when I finish my drawings so I can look back and know when I drew it.”

“Hm.” Clyde twirled the pencil back into its four fingers, “What’s today?”

“Uhm…” their voice trailed off as they stood up and made their way to their calendar, “1988…January…”

In the corner of the page, Clyde scratched down the year and its closest approximation of the spelling for what it heard:

JANeeuARY

“Today’s a Tuesday… the twelfth!”

TWelth

The tip skating across the grainy texture of the page was an addictive vibration. Clyde flipped the page, then paused, eyes darting around the room for a new subject to draw, eventually landing on the front door. It scribbled down two rectangles, one for the door, then one for the door’s window, through which rain could be seen pouring down from the sky, then, finally, a circle representing the door’s handle. Besides the sketch, it drew an arrow, labeling the sketch:

DOR

“A door?”

“Well,” Clyde crunched its face, “what else am I supposed to draw?”

“Hm,” Alex put their chin on top of their hand, “What’s your absolute favorite thing in the world?”

After a moment, Clyde lit up and began to scratch at the page once more, first outlining several shaky curves, then scribbling in the one at top, and, finally, adding two triangles and a jagged mouth for a face, making a Jack-o-Lantern and, with an arrow, labeling it:

FAVORit thing

“Oh nice!” Alex beamed, “Yeah, I like Halloween too.”

Clyde dropped the pencil and slid it to them, now setting it’s chin on its hand, “What ‘bout you?”

“Oh- shoot…” Alex’s spine pulled them straight soon before they held their chin, “I need to think about this one- hold on…” their voice trailed off until, “Ah! Got it!” They snatched the pencil, twirled the book to face them, and sketched away. With five fingers, as opposed to four, their lines were, clearly, a lot more cohesive, dancing together to suggest depth in what appeared to be a ghost popping out out a TV screen, exclaiming,

BOO!

Alex turned the sketch book back to Clyde, who read the note they left besides the illustration:

I really like horror movies!

“Horror movies, huh?” Clyde looked back up from the page to Alex, “Like that Critters thing you showed me last week?”

“Yeah.” Alex's eyes sparkled, “Oh- and especially- like- the really bad ones. I heard “Creepazoids” is supposed to be awful- I bought it yesterday.”

Clyde scoffed, “You humans are weird.”

Alex smiled, “Wanna watch it?”

There was a moment where the sound of rain hitting the roof filled the room.

A smile. That’s what that tingling tug was, “Sure.” Clyde smiled.

[deathbyclown]

Pollen Pairing: Crocodile x Buggy Rating: Explicit Words: 3800

Summary: Buggy brings back a big discovery and he’s eager to show it off to Crocodile!! Unfortunately both he and Crocodile are about to experience the pollen’s true effect.

Neither Croc nor Buggy are in their right minds, so there’s dubious consent, if that’s not ur thing.

AO3 Link

Crocodile sipped from his morning coffee, only half dressed in his soft robe and slippers, enjoying the newspaper and his comfortable silence. It had been peacefully quiet for nearly a week since he sent Buggy and Mihawk on a special mission. It was the perfect test for that clown, to get a measure of his abilities, his competence, and his control over his subordinates. Mihawk went along to report back (and babysit if need be).

And the peace and quiet he had on the island was a huge bonus. He was hoping this went well so he could send Buggy away more often, especially if it meant more quiet mornings, cozy in his room, with no problems to fix.

He just finished his coffee and leaned forward to his coffee table to pick up a cigar when the door flew open with a bang, making the small vase he kept along that wall fall to the floor and shatter.

“CROCODILE!!!!” Buggy burst in, looking sunburnt but very excited, his eyes shining, smiling widely, clearly proud of himself.

Crocodile made a mental note to add the vase to Buggy’s debt. He snatched up the cigar which slipped from his fingers at his slight shock from Buggy. He had sensed him coming with haki but he was not mentally prepared for his noise.

“You’re too loud, clown.” Crocodile gruffed, lighting his cigar. “If you have business, bring it up at the meeting this afternoon.”

Buggy zoomed forward, his feet chasing after him, bumping into the coffee table, making the kettle with the leftover coffee slosh in its container.

“It won’t take long! Just a teaser!!” Buggy insisted, already digging through his pockets to find what he wanted to show Crocodile.

“Buggy.” Crocodile’s serious tone had Buggy pausing as his eyes shot up to meet his.

“You’re interrupting my morning. Save it for later.” He said firmly, his voice clipped.

Buggy frowned deeply, his lip sticking out in a pout, his shoulders slumping in disappointment.

“But whyyyy???” Buggy cried. “I found something super flashy all by myself and I want to show you!! Pleeeeeaaaase???” He leaned forward on the table, making it creak, his head floating up to pout in Crocodile’s face.

Crocodile grimaced and shoved the rounded curve of his hook into Buggy’s forehead, pushing him away. Buggy shrieked as his head swirled through the air before he brought it back to his body. Crocodile sucked in a mouthful of smoke and let it out with a heavy sigh.

“You are insufferable.” He rubbed his forehead with his fingers and continued, “You’ve got five minutes.”

Buggy perked up immediately, flashing Crocodile an annoyingly bright smile.

“You won’t regret it!”

He already regrets it. Everything about Buggy was always loud. His clothes, his voice, his actions. Over the top. And Crocodile’s patience was dwindling by the second.

Buggy stood from the coffee table and pulled a glass vial from his coat pocket. He held it up between his thumb and forefinger with a triumphant pose.

It was small, but filled with some kind of yellow powder that shimmered as he twirled it in the light.

“What the hell is that?” Crocodile held out his hand to get a closer look.

Buggy grinned wider and continued to hold it out of Crocodile’s reach.

“Ah ah ah! First let me explain!” Buggy twirled it in his fingers again and it slipped, falling to the coffee table.

Buggy’s hands detached and scrambled forward, managing to catch it before it hit the table’s hard surface.

“Phew! That was…heh…pretty close!” Buggy was sweating now but he didn’t seem discouraged. Crocodile sneered at him.

“Four minutes left.”

Buggy stood up straighter, launching into his story about his discovery.

“Ok! Ok! Geez, it’s called suspense, Croccy baby! So! Me and Mihawk went to that island you told us about and while we didn’t find any marines stationed there, I found something much better! Leave it to the Genius Jester to make a discovery this big!” He wiggled his eyebrows and held out the vial, flat in his hand, once more. Crocodile reached out to grab it from him, but Buggy closed his fingers around it and snatched it back.

Crocodile growled “And what exactly did you discover? A way to piss me off?”

Buggy squeaked and hurried on with his story.

“N-no! Of course not! What I discovered was a single blooming flower! It was unlike anything else on the island, huge, but sunk into the ground! A-and I saw that the animals who came in contact with it became aggressive, chasing each other relentlessly. So, I wisely had my medical crew gather the parts and now I’ve brought the most potent part to you!”

He finished with a flourish, his hand floating forward with the vial so Crocodile could finally grab it from him. He held it delicately in his hand, the vial much smaller than when it was in Buggy’s.

“And why would I want flower pollen that makes animals aggressive?” He rolled the vial in his hand, looking bored. His mind was already buzzing with the potential this had. But he wasn’t going to admit to Buggy that this was actually a good discovery. If he could refine this, and replicate it, he’d be at the forefront of a new drug. And there was a lot of berry to be made in drugs.

“Aw, c’mon can’t you see the potential here!? You sprinkle a little of this in some of our best fighters ale and they’ll be killing machines! It’s the perfect secret weapon!”

Of course his vision was small, although it was strange that he didn’t want to take it for himself.

“Have you tested it on humans?” Crocodile held out the vial and Buggy grabbed it but it slipped through his fingers again. Stupid clown and his damn gloves.

And as Buggy panicked trying to catch it, it hit the coffee table, thankfully staying intact.

“Whoa that was close, huh?” Buggy said with a nervous chuckle. He took a step forward, tripped over his own feet and slammed his face into the table, smashing the vial.

“Ouch! Shit!” Buggy sat up, pollen all over his face, bits of glass sinking into his skin. He faced Crocodile sheepishly and then promptly sneezed in his face, not once, but five times.

“Ugh, I think I might be allergic.” Buggy groaned, wiping at his nose, letting the glass harmlessly fall from his face.

Crocodile grit his teeth so hard that his cigar snapped, falling from his lips. “You fucking dumbass.”  He spit and gripped Buggy’s throat so tightly he made the clown’s eyes bulge.

“You haven’t tested this on humans yet, have you? And now god knows what kind of side-effects this fucking pollen has!”

Buggy’s mouth just opened and closed, no sound coming out, his face starting to turn purple. Crocodile growled in frustration and threw him to the ground, hard.

“Wash that shit off of your face. I need to call a doctor and we’ll have to quarantine.” Crocodile hurried to his bathroom and washed his face, scrubbing at the skin. That stupid fucking clown was going to get him killed and he wouldn’t even be doing it on purpose!

He returned and threw a wet towel at Buggy, who just sat on the floor crying and begging for his life.

“Shut up! I’m not going to kill you, but I don’t know what this pollen does so I can’t promise anything.”

Buggy slowly wiped at his face, fat tears and snot still dripping down his face. So disgusting.

“I-I’m sorry Croccy! I didn’t mean to! I finally did something so you’d be proud of me and I ruined it!” He sobbed harder, face pressed into the cloth.

Crocodile felt a vein pulse in his forehead and was overwhelmed with the urge to smoke. He sat down in his armchair, grabbed another cigar and lit it.

“Why do you make everything so difficult?” Crocodile muttered quietly to himself.

He grabbed the little snail phone from his side table and let his competent subordinates know the situation.

“We’ll need doctors on standby, but we should avoid contact until we know what we’re dealing with.” Crocodile was trying to think of his best and worst case scenarios, but it was hard to focus when Buggy wouldn’t stop whimpering.

“Buggy! Stop sniveling and get off of the floor.” He barked, his cigar already burnt halfway down from smoking it quickly in his stress.

“C-crocodile, I need to leave.” Buggy said so quietly that Crocodile almost missed it.

“Let me call you back.” Crocodile abruptly ended the call and rounded on Buggy.

“Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said? We can’t leave. And that’s your fault.” Crocodile ripped off his robe, feeling warm, and threw it at Buggy. “You and I are stuck here until the side effects of the pollen wears off.” He sat back in his armchair and took a deep breath. The leather of the chair felt pleasantly cool against his warming skin. This must be the beginning of the pollen working its way through him.

Buggy looked like he was in pain, his whole body shaking, struggling to stay upright. Crocodile looked him over. It would make sense that Buggy’s symptoms would be worse than Crocodile’s, since he took an entire face full of the pollen.

“Crocodile. I can’t stay here.” He rasped, bent double.

Crocodile stood up swiftly and took two long strides over to Buggy, crouching before him and grabbed his face under his chin with his large hand. He yanked Buggy’s face to look up at him, and noticed that his face was very red, flushed, his makeup smeared, his pupils dilated so wide there was only a thin ring of blue iris. He whimpered at the contact and the rough treatment, biting his lip to suppress his sounds.

“You are staying here and facing the consequences of your actions. I don’t care if you pass out and die. We. Are. Not. Leaving.” He bit out each word, squeezing his fingers into Buggy’s skin.

Buggy moaned and Crocodile felt caught off guard. He loosened his grip but both of Buggy’s hands held onto his wrist to keep him there.

“I-I don’t know what’s wrong but I feel so…”  Buggy swallowed hard and shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut, bringing Crocodile’s hand to his cheek. It felt burning hot, slightly sticky with sweat. Crocodile looked over Buggy once again, this time really paying attention to what he was seeing. Buggy was breathing heavily, his body felt hot, he was sweating, he kept shivering, and, glaringly, he was rock hard and straining in his pants.

“Buggy,” Crocodile said slowly, eyes dragging over Buggy’s exposed throat, to his lips, and finally to his eyes, which he now realized were darkened with lust.

“You said that the pollen made the animals aggressive. Did you see them fight?” He asked, already coming to his own conclusions.

Buggy shook his head, his lips trailing over Crocodile’s fingers. He flicked his tongue out over the rough skin, teeth grazing his fingertips.

The pollen was an aphrodisiac. Because the surge of arousal he felt at Buggy’s mouth on his hand felt so sudden and intense that it hurt. His cock hardened so fast it made him dizzy, and he tilted, nearly falling to the floor but caught himself. It didn’t matter because Buggy pushed him over anyway, crawling on top of him and rutting himself on Crocodile’s now solid erection.

“I’m sorry.” He panted, his hips moving quickly. He moaned, hands curled on Crocodile’s bare abdomen. “Feels so good. I can’t stop.”

Each thrust from his hips sent sparks of pleasure through Crocodile, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to feel Buggy’s skin. He flipped Buggy onto his back and pulled at his clothes, hand and hook tearing and shredding until Buggy was bare before him. The sight of his skin, his cock jutting out, looking red, angry and leaking, it made him feel feral.

He pushed off his own pants and brought their cocks together. Crocodile held them firmly in his hand as he thrust, making both of them moan. He thrust faster into his fist, squeezing to make it feel tight. It was so good, he had never felt horny like this before, like if he didn’t cum he would shatter apart. He needed it to be wet and slick and hot. He needed to be pounding into Buggy, to fill him with his cum.

Buggy gasped, cumming, spilling onto his belly, onto Crocodile’s cock and fingers. Crocodile moaned, using Buggy’s cum to jerk himself off, spilling onto Buggy’s belly and chest. Crocodile couldn’t stop himself, he brought his fingers to his lips and licked off Buggy’s cum, the bitter taste, the slick feeling on his tongue made his cock twitch, and he groaned aloud after he swallowed it down.

He dropped down and licked up Buggy’s belly, running his tongue over Buggy’s still hard cock, wrapping his lips around it and sucking. Buggy whined, fingers running through Crocodile’s hair, gripping hard as he continued to suck him off.

It was like Crocodile didn’t have any self-control, he was just impulses, wanting to taste Buggy, to smell him, to wring as much cum from him as he could. He kept bobbing, Buggy panted and writhed under him. He took all of him into his mouth, Buggy’s cock just barely hitting the back of his throat. He sucked hard as he came back up, making Buggy whine and tug roughly at his hair. He used his tongue to help stroke him, making Buggy gasp, pulling strangled moans from him. He kept taking him deep, going faster and faster, Buggy’s hips jumping, twitching.

“Fuck! C-Croc- aaaaahh!” Buggy came in his mouth and Crocodile moaned in satisfaction, swirling Buggy’s cum before swallowing it down. He popped off of Buggy’s cock and trailed kisses down over the crease of his thighs, sucking his balls into his mouth, then let them go. He pushed Buggy’s knees to his chest and kissed his ass, pushing his tongue between his cheeks. He licked at his rim and Buggy gasped, his hole fluttering against Crocodile’s tongue. He pushed his face further into his ass, pushing his thick tongue past his rim. Buggy whined and writhed, his hand stroking himself as Crocodile’s tongue curled and pushed into him.

Crocodile was still so hard, despite cumming, and he felt like he was burning alive. He needed to be inside of Buggy, but he was barely holding onto the idea that he needed to prepare him. He felt the urge to push into him, to shove his cock deep but some part of him knew that he couldn’t do that, that he needed to take his time.

He scooped up as much leftover cum from Buggy’s chest brought it between Buggy’s cheeks, pushing it into him, fingering him open. His insides felt burning hot and just the feeling of it sucking in his fingers had him humping the floor and biting into Buggy’s thigh.

Buggy yelped when Crocodile sucked harshly at his skin, whining as he spread him open, three fingers deep inside of him. He curled his fingers, not really looking for his prostate, but trying to open up Buggy as much as possible. But Buggy’s prostate felt large, and Crocodile could easily brush over it, making Buggy clench around him, his muscles in his belly tensing. He groaned through his teeth, his still hard cock twitching as he shot another load of cum over himself from Crocodile tapping and brushing over his swollen prostate.

Crocodile pulled his fingers from Buggy and ran his fingers through the cooling cum on his chest. He smeared Buggy’s semen over his cock, slicking himself, and brought it to Buggy’s entrance. He pushed in, probably faster than he would’ve if he’d been in his right mind, but as soon as Buggy’s tight heat started swallowing him, he couldn’t stop. He thrust forward, making Buggy cry out, his whole body trembling, sweat and tears dripping down his face.

He pushed fully into Buggy and sighed in pleasure and relief. This was exactly where he needed to be. He leaned over Buggy, enjoying the feeling of him, rolling his hips. Buggy gasped and writhed under him, his hand jumping to stroke himself.

“P-please. Please fuck me. I need it, Croccy.” Buggy begged, his voice cracking.

Crocodile grabbed one of Buggy’s arms and pinned it above him.

“You’ll take what I give you.” He growled, swirling his hips, making Buggy whimper.

He shallowly thrust into Buggy, pulling out further and further with every thrust until he was slamming into him, hips slapping together loudly.

The pleasure he felt from being inside of Buggy was unlike anything he’d experienced before. He’d been inside plenty of people, people bigger than Buggy, and people smaller, but whatever was happening now was fantastic. His balls tightened, and he spilled inside of Buggy, his orgasm so powerful that it made him ache, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t care about anything except chasing his next climax.

Buggy was loud the whole time, moaning and crying, his hand stroking himself furiously, cumming once again, thin and translucent, but not stopping.

Crocodile curled his body, pulling Buggy into his arms, his hips still pounding into him. He licked and sucked at Buggy’s neck, suddenly feeling possessive. He needed to fill him over and over, needed to see the evidence of his pleasure all over Buggy’s body. He could feel Buggy clench around him, whining, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he orgasmed again, totally dry.

He groaned into Buggy’s skin and moved to the other side of his neck, continuing to mark him as he fucked him.

“Crocodile!” Buggy cried when he felt Crocodile cum inside of him again. It was like each orgasm both eased some raging thing inside of him and stoked it back to life, leaving him hungry and needy. Buggy’s arms wrapped around his neck and held him tight, his wet messy face and lips tickling his ear. Crocodile, whose mouth was latched onto Buggy’s neck, let go with a wet slurp and he smashed their lips together. Buggy moaned, kissing back sloppily, smearing lipstick and tears into Crocodile’s mouth. Crocodile licked into his mouth, pushing his tongue against Buggy’s, tasting him, devouring him. Crocodile swallowed all of his sounds, every delicious moan and whine and whimper, feeding Buggy some of his own. The wet slide of their tongues, the hot feeling of his mouth made him feel euphoric. His whole body felt electric, like he couldn’t get enough of the taste of him, the smell, the sensation of his tongue and skin and teeth.

He came inside of Buggy once again, the inside of him feeling slick and hot with so much semen coating him, making each thrust into Buggy easier. He continued to kiss Buggy, not letting up, hips still pumping furiously. Nothing felt like enough, like if he stopped moving he’d break apart, like he’d shatter and die. He wanted to consume him, devour him, swallow him up until Buggy was an inherent part of him. And it seemed like Buggy was feeling something similar, not wanting to let go of Crocodile, clawing at his skin, desperately trying to pull him closer.

…

It took hours for the pollen to work its way through their bloodstreams, Buggy getting the worst of it, still desperate to cum well after Crocodile’s body finally settled. He let Buggy rut into him near the end of his lust-driven haze and that’s how he fell asleep, laying on his belly with Buggy fucking him.

When he awoke next his whole body was sore, aching down to the bone, like he’d just had the shit kicked out of him.

“Fuck.” He groaned, trying to sit up, but his muscles spasmed and he laid back down. He huffed in frustration and looked around for a cigar. He saw Buggy sleeping soundly beside him, looking thoroughly debauched. His hair was a matted mess, his makeup nearly gone, tear tracks obvious through the residue on his face, his body covered in bruises and hickies and drying cum.

He really did fuck Buggy, didn’t he? He was having a hard time parsing it together in his head. He knew he did, but it was still hard to believe. Whatever pollen Buggy brought back was dangerous, enough to totally cloud a person’s judgement and reduce them to baser instincts. He could still recall the intense feelings, the overwhelming need and lust.

No wonder he was so sore, he was forty-six, he really shouldn’t be fucking anyone on the hard floor, let alone for hours. His muscles ached, along with his bones and joints, and he was becoming aware of a throbbing headache building. He needed to get up and take some really fucking strong pain killers.

He grit his teeth and stood, stumbling as he got to his feet, but steadied himself on his couch. He hobbled to his bathroom and grabbed his strongest pain killers, the kind that get you high. He took two with a sip of water and realized how thirsty he was, gulping down glass after glass of water until his belly sloshed.

A hot bath sounded amazing, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay awake so he just wiped himself down. He started to leave the bathroom and then remembered Buggy. He should kick that idiot out for what he just put the two of them through…but he was too tired to toss him from his room. He grabbed one of his nice pain killers, a glass of water and a wet towel, returning to Buggy who was still sound asleep.

Stupid clown. He looked over Buggy’s body and a small surge of possessive pride swelled in his chest as his eyes lingered on the marks he left on his skin. Must be a side effect of the pollen. He wiped down Buggy’s body, unabashedly looking at him, memorizing him now that he was in his right mind. He hated to admit it to himself, but Buggy was the best lover he’d ever had. And he was sure that it was the pollen’s fault…but he might have to sleep with Buggy outside of the pollen’s influence…just to confirm.

With a grunt he scooped up Buggy from the floor and brought him to the bed, leaving the pill and water beside him on the nightstand. Crocodile settled back onto the bed next to Buggy, finally lighting a cigar and relaxing into the pillows. Well, even if the pollen turned out to be an intense aphrodisiac, Crocodile could refine that and make a very addictive drug. People would pay serious berry to take a drug that made sex feel that good. He’d probably have to test the final product with Buggy again, since they were the only ones who knew what the raw pollen felt like. Anything for business.

[lottiecrabie]

in the linecook au either ross or george finding you and matty and joining in especially if its the end of the shift and they were supposed to go out and then trying to act like nothing happened but secretly exchanging glances all evening

OMG I SWEAR YOU GOT ME BLUSHING🫣 giggling to myself kicking my feet this is too good

okay, so matty is eating you out in the middle of the pantry (not before making some really obnoxious puns about ‘eating his meal’ and ‘where else can he find his food’). you sit on some crates and he kneels before you. there’s something ecstatic about the sight; a powerful man, angry and controlled and all-knowing, on his knees for you. a shiver passes through your shoulders, rolling your eyes into your skull.

it’s late at night so you’re not being exactly quiet, racking a hand through his curls and moaning freely. he’s got this fucking starved technique, licking at you with such hunger, trying to devour you like his favorite meal. your legs tremble, wrapping around his head, thighs threatening to suffocate him. he’s unbothered; he rubs your clit with only more enthusiasm, dipping long, spindly fingers inside of you, curling them just so.

you grip the shelves behind you, trying to hold onto something for dear life. pressure builds inside your stomach. you’re about to— you’re right— you scream, opening your eyes to warn matty.

instead, you find george staring at you, standing frozen in the door. his eyes are dark, traveling over your flushed face, your opened thighs, matty’s face buried between. your lips part in shock, ready to warn matty when—

matty flicks his tongue pointedly and it’s too late. you fall apart, stars spreading beneath your eyelids, screaming, ‘george!’

you try to catch your breath. matty arches an eyebrow under you, unimpressed, pissed. you flick your eyes beyond him. george is still there, clenching his jaw.

matty turns around. realization dawns on him as he catches the sight of his friend. he ups his chin at him, grinning. ‘hey, mate.’ mischievously, he takes his fingers out of you. a quiet whimper slips through your lips, but you bite it down vengefully. now that you’re not swimming in the dazed waters of pure, unfiltered euphoria, embarrassment climbs up your spine. you flush bright red, trying to push matty out of your still parted thighs.

instead, matty brandishes the two slick fingers to george, wiggling them as wetness strings between them. you die on the spot, surely. die and come back to your body just to live through all of it again. some divine punishment.

matty smirks, ‘want a taste?’

your heart skips a beat. george’s eyes lock with yours, still silent. too silent. what is he thinking under that impenetrable gaze of his? all that intensity only makes him more handsome. tall and big and sharp; a hazard you want to risk. telltale excitement drips between your thighs. the instinct of closing them rings in your head, but they’re still shamelessly hanging from matty’s shoulders.

‘c’mon, george,’ matty says now, egging him on. ‘it’s fucking sweet.’ as if to prove his point, he sucks one finger into his mouth, moaning exaggeratedly as he twists his tongue around it. he pops it out, smiling boyishly.

‘matty,’ george warns, voice low and gravely. you shiver at the sound, wanting him to say your name in that tone. needing it.

matty turns back to you, tsking. ‘guess he doesn’t want it, princess. oh well.’ he makes a move to stick the second one in his mouth, but george’s crowding his space the next second, gripping his wrist. matty laughs, mocking mastermind.

staring at you, he wraps his lips around matty’s wet middle finger. the sight is sinful. you moan, clenching around matty’s face.

‘think she likes it, mate,’ he says, teasing. ‘think she likes you.’ matty bites at your thigh, making you look down at him. ‘do you?’

you swallow. flick between the two men. thrill dances under your skin, sensing the incoming events. ‘yes.’

matty smiles, tapping your leg proudly. he stands from between them, wiggling two eyebrows to his friend.

george is still looking at you like he’s convinced he’s making you up in his mind. he trails two fingers on your naked thigh, making you shiver, when he says, ‘can’t believe you’ve been fucking her this whole time.’

‘jealous?’

‘maybe.’ his fingers adventure higher, tough callouses on the tip of them. ‘how is she?’

a blush spreads across your cheeks. shyness and embarrassment and the contrasting need pump in your veins. you should feel— you should be ashamed. instead, your thighs part instinctively, practically showing yourself on display.

‘tooth-rotting sweet. makes these pretty little noises, like she’s—‘

‘matty!’ you scold.

he looks down at you condescendingly, shushing. ‘we’re not talking to you, baby.’ he turns back to george. ‘sugary moans, but then when you find the right spot, rub just the right way, man, she screams.’

‘yeah,’ george nods, finding the apex of your thighs. you gasp, all the air of the room sucking in. ‘i heard that.’

he rubs at your clit with no shyness, almost familiar, like he memorized the spots when it was matty circling them with his tongue. like he was diligently learning.

it’s got the desired effect. your head falls back on the shelves, rolling your hips into his fingers. a loud moan spills from your lips.

‘see?’ matty laughs.

‘yes,’ george says, rubbing faster to make stringed pearls of whines fall from your mouth. ‘fucking sweet.’

matty smiles proudly, caressing your hair. you lean into the motion, practically purring. ‘perfect girl,’ he coos at you. you nod, head slack. ‘you’re beautiful.’

a happy giggle leaves you, distorted by a high-pitched yell as george slips two long fingers inside of you. the stretch is tight, bigger than matty’s. you scrunch your face, breathing out, ‘shit, george.’

he curls them, thrusting in and out, smirking smugly at his friend. ‘i think your girl likes me best.’

matty slaps his shoulder. ‘piss off.’

george laughs, bending down to you. ‘you do, right? tell him.’ as though to plead his case, he slips in and out faster, digging his free hand into the meat of your thigh.

‘you’re a dickhead.’

‘and your girl wants the dick and the head.’ a snort bursts out of you. even matty huffs some smothered laugh, shaking his head.

‘she’s got a rule about puns when you’re inside of her, by the way.’

george arches an eyebrow. ‘how many have you made to warrant the placing of a rule.’

out of breath, you giggle, ‘too many.’

‘i can’t stop being hilarious. it’s part of me.’

george rolls his eyes, unconvinced. he fucks into you faster. a telltale pressure builds into you. feeling the edge of the cliff teeter under your toes, you grip george’s forearm, digging your claws in the tattooed skin.

‘let’s give him a show,’ george coos. ‘show him how it’s really done.’

‘oi!’

with a laugh, your eyes roll back, pleasure gathering in a tight, coiling ball, then blasting free. it wipes through your limbs. you shake, screaming, clawing at george’s arm.

matty’s caressing hand on your head soothes you back down. you grin lazily, body loose.

‘you did so good,’ matty promises, kissing your jaw. ‘so, so good for us.’

george slips his fingers out of you, sucking them into his mouth and licking them clean. ‘fuck.’

‘well, don’t get too obsessed.’

matty helps you down from the crate, lowering your skirt back. the floor seems to ripple under you. he takes you by the cheek, kissing your forehead. dropping an arm around your shoulder, he turns back to george. ‘how about that beer, then?’

[roetrolls]

Battleship

Mallum finds Veylin in the kitchen, holding a kettle under the tap and watching it fill. She glances over her shoulder as he plods into the room, looking just long enough for him to notice the faint rings that crown her eyes. 

She’s been crying.

Comfort has never been Mallum’s strong suit, a fact which he is made especially aware of as he languishes over what to say. Unsure how to address the elephant in the room he’s just discovered, he eventually opts to dance around it instead.

“Hey,” the seadweller nods, easing open the refrigerator and surveying its contents. He’ll keep it casual. “How’d it go?”

A noncommittal shrug is her only reply.

He sucks a breath through his teeth. “Bad, huh?”

Again, she shrugs, reuniting the kettle with its lid and placing it gingerly on the stove. Her hands, now free, begin to wring away their anxiety.

“I don’t know,” Veylin mumbles, suddenly immensely interested in the nail of her thumb, “I didn’t… say anything. I wasted her time.”

“That’s stupid,” Mallum snorts. 

He lets the insult hang for a moment, cracking open a can of sparkling water and raising it to his lips. Veylin frowns, shrinking into herself at a comment that, to her, must seem like pointless cruelty.

“You went,” he says finally, nudging the fridge closed with his hip. “That’s the first hurdle down, how’s that a waste?”

Veylin presses her lips together, clearly unconvinced. Unable to face him, she turns away to rifle through the cupboard. Mallum sips his drink and waits, watching her deft, dainty hands sift about in search of, he assumes, a case of peppermint tea. 

“I thought it would be easier,” she admits, voice only just audible.

She withdraws the box–yep, peppermint–and sets about readying her cup, each movement delicate and precise. It takes him a second to process her confession, but he rolls his eyes the moment the statement registers.

“What, you thought you could unlearn a lifelong coping mechanism in your very first session?”

It’s a tame comment, all things considered, but she shifts under the weight of it. It’s obvious she’s hurt, and the fact that he caused her discomfort twists in Mallum’s gut like a knife. Not exactly a pitch feeling, there.

“Seriously, Veylin,” he tries to backpedal, voice soft. “You don’t need to fix everything right away.”

“I don’t know how to fix it at all.”

“That’s the therapist’s job.”

No reply. Mallum’s never been one to shut up for any length of time, but something about her silence is contagious. He opens his mouth, then shuts it, a pantomime stammer to fill dead air as he grasps for something to say. There are so many things he wants to tell her. A mountain of miscellaneous contradictions, all as undecipherable as she is. 

“It’s… It’s alright. To feel lost.” He swallows, eyes drifting for one fleeting moment across her lips. She raises her eyes to meet his, and at once the words are gone, lost to the depths of the deep blue saucers that flit across his face.

A crease finds its way onto her brow. “Is something bothering you?”

You, his mind seems to say, though there’s no malice behind it. The things you do to me.

Mallum shakes his head. He can’t say that. She searches his face, expression laced with concern, and already, he can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. 

I’m not myself around you, he thinks, but the person I become is better.

He croaks helplessly, words sticking in his throat and laying thick on his tongue. Veylin’s mouth purses slightly in confusion, a silent question hanging in the air.

You don’t fit in any of my boxes.

I hate myself for hurting you.

Nothing about you makes sense to me.

“I think I might have feelings for you.”

When his voice hits his ears, Mallum’s heart all but stops. Had he meant to say that one out loud?

Veylin blinks. Mallum opens his mouth to speak, leaping to withdraw the sentiment when she cuts in with a delighted giggle, laughter quickly replacing the lead that had settled on her shoulders.

Despite the blush blooming in his cheeks, it’s enough to return the air to his lungs.

“Mallum…” She cocks her head and fixes him with a warm smile, eyes twinkling. “You do.”

[panpanpanini]

detco salt. moonlight sonata remake rant below

forewarning that i am a staunch funi-dub enjoyer and fell in love with this show in the first 50 episodes (and still consider the early show to be superior)

-

broke sequence and watched detco episode 1000/1001 yesterday, and not to be a negative nancy but jfc i think i would've been pissed if i had tuned in to watch that on premiere day.

maybe i set myself up for failure expecting anything more (especially given my very low ceiling for ridiculous anime shenanigans) but for transparency's sake i watched the tubi dub (👎) with my brother, since we grew up watching and loving the funi dub version. ooh man did we think it sucked

remaking moonlight sonata at this stage in detco is only a good idea on paper bc it's sentimental. that's literally all it has going for it though. it didn't hold a candle to the original, not even close, not in translation/writing or voice acting, not in animation or color or background or music direction. it was so so bad, the kind of bad that cuts so deep disappointment turns to insult. rigid and stilted, environments feel sterile and vacant and weirdly huge (this is a uniquely me criticism of modern detco lol, absolutely fuckin MASSIVE environments), all sense of small town superstition and tension are gone, no time is spent even acquainting with narumi and so i felt nothing when his identity and status as the killer is eventually revealed, let alone when he self-immolated. and coming off of that, conan himself barely feels like a character. the funi dub does a stellar job of cementing shinichi as the overarching narrator of the series both in writing and in the decision to dub conan's inner monologue with his "true" voice, so while the tubi dub is already at a disadvantage in that regard there's next to no framing of the situation by him otherwise and it just kind of feels like we're flies on the wall in the most boring way possible. this isn't to say the original, subbed or dubbed, is a masterpiece of high art or anything, it just knows what it wants to do and it does it well enough to get you invested in it. there's a reason it's an iconic case, right? in the remake, you just don't get the sense that conan is invested in the case or moved by any of the ominous circumstances at all. it's so fucking weird because he should be the audience surrogate for these cases and instead it's flat and the opposite of immersive. maybe it's harsh of me to say but dare i say it's incompetent. absolute night and day compared to the original, even if you remove the dub variables.

speakings of dubs. i don't know any japanese so i have no meaningful input as to whether or not the tubi dub is a more """accurate""" translation than the funi dub but i'm firmly of the opinion that 1:1 translations belong exclusively to subs. there's way more at play in a dub than just "accurate translation" and i can't fucking tell you how awful the tubi dub is all around. it's just so wooden. i'm sure the cast are capable actors and the rigid writing was more than bogging them down but every time a name was said i made a face. every time a character spoke like a wired informant i made a new one. have the writers ever heard real people converse with each other before? does whoever was in charge of voice direction know what good performances sound like? nobody talks to each other the way the people in this dub do!! christ on a stick

(as an aside, people have pegged my criticisms of anime shows as 'expecting too much realism' but in my defense [1] detco likes to treat itself as a show that--compared to its other big-name modern shonen counterparts-- exists mostly within the bounds of real-life rules and [2] people talking to each other transcends expectations of realism. the show already expects me to think of it within a certain box and i'll eat my hat if you or other people in your life normally talk to each other like they're wearing a wire, repeating everything that's said to them like someone is on the other side of the glass)

overall verdict 1/10. mid episode for the late 900s/early 1000s era piggybacking mostly off nostalgia and good intentions but horrifically executed outside of that bubble and especially in comparison to its predecessor and the legacy thereof. extremely underwhelming and upsetting thing to put out as a commemorative special. i'm not impressed, but i'm not mad either - i'm just really, really sad

[hauntedotherworld]

m back

ive been clearing my stuff and getting shit ready so that i can finally die and not overthink all that stuff, and i might do it somewhere else, one of these nights

but the (physical) pain i was in yesterday meant i had to take codeine and it knocked me out a little bit so that stopped me setting it up

today im carrying on clearing out ny atuff because i need stuff shit to be gone so that i can do it with no secondary thoughts

didnt eat or drink in 2 days, theres no food or drink (except water i guess) here (literally) they do that on purpose. get plenty of stuff for themselves but if i fought with them they leave me with nothing (not like i have money either) i would runaway. but nowhere to go for now, i dont care anyway ill happily strve anyway

just gonna deal with it h it but wow the days dragging on and i feel complete misery and rejection.. they never care or stick up for me ever, my mthr chooses my dad over me as she always did so

cool 👍🏻 she hasnt talked to me in 2 says eitherfor no reason, and she didnt care when i said im kllng myself and when i sent them my s/h yesterday wanting her to stick up for me FOR ONCE and tell that man to leave

she didnt lol. this situations happened all througg my life with my d*d and (brthr )

man really the more im thinking of lastnight again the more i want to end it right NOW

it sucks. life sucks. especially when you have genuinely nobody who cares they all left and my family treat me like shit through vile words and violence or abandoning.. all i have is my dog and cats. lastnight when it was so unbearable and i was gonna setup the rope i was thinking of her and although i cant stay here for anybody because its not possible i still try and hold on another day for her because shes all i have and i dont wanna even think of being without her. i spend all day long with her none of them do so.. and she likes when i play with her and give her attention everyday

[zellasnow]

~ANIMAL FURS~

I recently discovered Game of Thrones, have gobbled up the first two seasons. I love everything about it; the drama, the romance, the battles. Mostly the heart aches of course. Always the heart aches.

But something that is sticking with me is the animal furs. In the bitter cold of the North, in the Lord's and Lady's beds, they so often are shown to lie among various animal furs. It may not be politically correct, and so help me God Peta, I'd be just as content curled up with faux animal furs, but I think about those furs often.

Sometimes before sleep finally overcomes me and takes me away, I pretend to be a Lady, wrapped up in the stifling heat of many animal furs and the leathery arms of a Lord, a lord sleeping easily in the warmth of my body heat despite the ever looming battle coming in the morning. I always pull excerpts from books, shows, and movies where the adventure has paused, the night is still and quiet, and they are taking what brief respite they can. Sometimes I am Hermione, sleeping in a tent with Ron and Harry as they travel in the winter toward the end of Deathly Hallows. Sometimes I am Meg from Inkheart, sleeping in a room tucked away among all the books in Elinor's house. Sometimes I am Astrid's mother from White Oleander, sleeping alone with my breasts shining pale in the light of the moon, after sending my lover away before dawn breaks and the night magic dissipates. Sometimes I am a stow away on a pirate ship, sleeping hidden among the rats and barrels of ale.

Always night, always tucked safely in to sleep. I don't know why these imaginings are the only thing that lets my brain quiet enough to sleep, but they are. I don't know why the random things that imprint in my mind do so. Hence, the animal furs. But I know that sometimes an image sticks to my thoughts like an itch I'm dying to scratch, and I have no choice but to follow the meager trail of bread crumbs to its inevitable end.

I prefer it when the image is something easily explained away as a scene from a recently watched television show, and nothing more nefarious or evil lurking in the shadows of my past, waiting all too patiently to catch me unawares.

I don't do too well with facing up to my past, especially not the instances where I knowingly and deliberately did wrong. I'm terrified that these moral crimes I've committed speak to the truth that I am inescapably a villain, too guilty for hope of a redemption arc. I cannot accept that shortcomings make me human, not unworthy. I cannot accept that treasons against those I love can be atoned for, or at least, amends made and moved on from. I get stuck, and I can't face it, can't stand the image in the mirror. So I cover all the mirrors.

You'd think I would avoid mistakes at all costs knowing these truths about myself and how I will avoid the mistakes until someone forces me to gaze in the mirror. Then I want to lash out and destroy the woman reflected there, but I don't.

Somehow I keep wandering the same wrong paths, knowing where they end. Because though I hate the woman in the mirror, I need someone to prove they love her despite her sins, prove they will stay, keep letting her destroy them, all in the name of love.

I am not naive at all to this epic manipulation and toxicity, but having someone suck out the poison is sometimes the only way I know of to avoid it consuming me, and if they succumb to the poison's power, it will only prove me right in my deep rooted suspicion that I am indeed a danger to those who love me, and they'd be better off never having thought I could engage in healthy affections. My love is smothering, desperate, beguiling, cruel, and deceptive.

But each time I offer it anew, I truly do hold out hope that this time will be different. I will have a new beginning, love in the right ways, be deserving of the affections of who my heart has chosen, be honest and vulnerable and bare all my truths, stand before them completely naked and be accepted and adored in return. It hasn't happened yet, because I am too afraid to risk it and the deceptions begin again each time.

But as I gaze on the hollowed out shells of human beings and shattered hearts I have left in my wake, I am haunted by one inescapable truth. The fact that I cannot face my truths alone, let alone face up to them in the company of another, is always what leads to the wreckage. And yet complete and total honesty, transparency, is the one thing I have not yet mastered.

So I write this here, as a clean state, a fresh start, a commitment to try again so I do not destroy another soul, or another piece of my own. (At this point I'm sure my horcruxes outnumber He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named at the height of his power.)

I am trying, and if fictional writing, twisted details of events and altering of names, is the only way I can release the poison without forcing others to suck it out and perhaps accidentally swallow a drop of the tainted liquid, then so be it.

Here in this place, I, Zella Snow, will tell all, and may those who deserve healing from my horrors, find it amidst my written words. May they recognize their stories in the fiction I create, and may they know that deep in my heart of hearts, I only wish to absolve myself of a portion of my sins, and in so doing hope they may remember me fondly, if they choose to remember me at all. And if not, I accept that is their right. And if I exist only in a rearview mirror they must keep covered at all times, well who better understands that decision than I, smothering myself in animal furs so that I can't see the body housing the consciousness that committed the crimes?

With love and true remorse,

ZellaSnow

[bunnys-lil-hideout]

god. god damn it. GOD.

rains is so. soooo. so fucking hot.

conventional he's not, like at all hes gross and just made of chemicals and looks like a crime autopsy corpse.

but to MY standards. fuck. ffuuuuccckkkkkk me.

his skin being sickly rotten peach pink, bumpy and sandy looking to the touch. those holes all over his body where the chemical leaks out, probably cause its acidic to his skin and it leaks to his clothes too, also making holes there. those long arms and legs, being so tall that he doesnt look short even when he does lil tip toe animation. his jaw chin and cheekbones being so sharp. his chest being oddly puffed out despite him meaning to be skinny. that burnt trench coat and hat making him look like a creepy agent. those dirty white gloves probably to cover his fucked up hands. those creepy pure black eyes with red pupils like a security camera. his voice. his. VOICE. god his low raspy announcement show hosting voice. the way he sounds when he sings or gets angry. the fact that he coughs when he laughs too hard.

i need to be walking down a dark, quiet, empty corridor, where im on edge and panicking like something is following me, and right as i turn the corner, he shows up right at my feet, making me jump and scream. but then he grabs my shoulders, turns, and pushes me up against the wall. he's staring down at me, chuckling to himself while im breathing heavily and my heart is about to explode from it racing so fast. and he leans up to my face, and whispers to me how completely pathetic i am and that im just a little weakling. and as he talks, bubbles and sprits of the chemical come leaking out of the holes in his face, creating strong smell that for some reason heightens my fear, but also makes my body all warm and sensitive, especially with how hes holding me.

i wanna grab his face and suck and kiss and lick the holes all over where his mouth should be. i wanna drink up the liquid and get myself high on his blood. i need to sit in his lap and grind myself on his crotch until i can feel him get hard under me and see his chemical pre leaking through his pants. i want him to lay on his back while i straddle myself on his puffed out chest, feeling whats meant to feel like bones through his gritty skin and burnt clothes. i wanna maneuver myself up so that im sitting on his face and his chemicals get all over my lips and inner thighs and inside of me getting me even more drugged up with his liquid.

i need him to force me onto my side, lift my leg up, take his dick out and tease the outer of my pussy with the head of his probably fucked up looking cock. its probably long and skinny. its also covered with holes and the chemicals are pouring out like a fountain. and he keeps teasing my hole with the tip and head until he catches me by surprise and shoves the whole thing inside me. it slams in instantly hitting the back of my cervix and because of how lubed we are he just starts railing me furiously bruising my walls and making sure i can feel every inch of him every time he thrusts back in until its a mixture of pain and pleasure. and im laying there with tears in my eyes from the pain but also begging him not to stop and to ruin me like im a lil good for nothing street whore.

how is he so hot. how is he so fucking hot. i need to drink his liquids from his body. i need to stick my tongue in the holes of his face. fuck i bet he would be so turned on by me sticking my tongue and fingers in the holes of his cock while i sucked. he would hate how much he loves it so much. i need him to fuck me with that cock and call me a noisy bratty slutty sex doll. asking me if i love feeling those holes against my walls and my juices probably seeping into his body. fuck i just. i HAVE to fuck him. it is a want AND a need.

[phagodyke]

bonus list of things that help me motivate to exercise!!

-sticking to a consistent workout timeslot – this way I don’t have to worry abt when to fit it into the day. this is tailored to me, 4-6pm is when I have the most energy + im normally done with any other tasks, I also like exercising just before a main meal bc I get hungry after (and I can’t exercise for 2-3 hours after eating a meal bc I get cramps…). im unemployed atm tho so thisll probably change once I get a job lol

-keeping it flexible – consistency is more important than intensity but theres no point in having a rigid routine if the whole thing blows up bc I missed a single day. working out ‘intuitively’ works best for me for this reason – I don’t feel bad taking the day off when I need it bc I can pick up my routine again whenever I’m ready to

-working out in a way I enjoy and that works for my body – sounds obvious but its rly hard to motivate urself to do any kind of exercise that doesnt feel good for u specifically. I suck at running for example bc I don't find it mentally stimulating enough to stop myself getting distracted and I find it REALLY uncomfortable so I can’t stick with it. taking no commitment classes/taster sessions is a good way of figuring out what you like, depends on where u live etc but I've found tons of friendly local queer sports spaces which rly encouraged me. lots of youtube videos out there too!

-similarly I wear gym clothes I like + feel comfortable in, make sure I eat well earlier in the day and after (fuel up!!) + don’t work out if I haven’t slept well enough the night before. nothing puts me off a routine faster than feeling like I have to suffer for it – negative reinforcement neverrr works. also I find eating regularly/getting enough sleep gets easier for me the more consistent I am with my workout routine so it encourages me to keep at it 💪

-figure out where the friction is and reduce it – for me, going to a gym daily isn’t realistic bc there are too many steps between deciding I want to exercise + doing it (packing a bag, leaving the house, travelling there, checking in, changing, if its busy then waiting for equipment…etc) which is why I work out at home 80% of the time cuz all I have to do is get changed + roll out my yoga mat. the easier it is to start, the easier it is to commit to a routine + resist the urge to give up.

-having an ‘on-ramp’, i.e., a small movement in the right direction to get me to actually Start a task. some days working out feels too daunting or I can’t be bothered but I’ll just go fill up my water bottle. and then I’ll get back to my room and I might as well put my gym shorts on. and then since I’m in the right clothes I can at least do a couple minutes of warmup stretches… etc like just thinking abt it one step at a time.

-rewarding myself – my little treat after every single workout is getting my protein milkshake + a shower + flexing in the mirror when I’m done. some days most of my motivation comes from that alone.. tricking ur brain to associate exercise w a reward + praise rly rly helps especially if ur like me and don’t rly get an endorphin ‘high’ from working out (<- adhd thing I think). never EVER skip the little treat even if u feel like u didn’t work out very hard or spent less time or whatever!! very important. maybe this should’ve been higher up in the list

-keeping myself mentally engaged – adhd makes focusing a bitch. listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks is ESSENTIAL for me to not get distracted. the time I think most abt quitting a workout is inbetween sets so sometimes if its dire I’ll give myself extra tasks e.g., sometimes I leave unsorted laundry on my bed and race to fold as many tshirts as I can in the 20 seconds before I start the next set, or leave a book open so I can read a quick sentence or 2. during isometric holds (like wall sits, planks) I like to do mental math or try to recite song lyrics or poetry bc I haaaate keeping so still and if I think about that too much I’ll give up !! be creative w it

-being held accountable – I sometimes do sports socially, but when I do home workouts it helps to tell a friend or mention on tumblr that im gonna go exercise cuz then I feel like I’ve already committed to it + I have to keep my word! it also helps me to have a couple "role models" in mind when im flagging a bit, either athletes in sports I like or just ppl I admire a lot, or even physically strong/capable fictional characters (cringe ik but it works so) – just anyone who inspires u!!

that’s all I can think of rnnnn so I’m gonna leave it there thank u for sending me an ask I love talking abt working out + hope u got smth out of my monologue :-D anyway its leg day today so I gotta go do that I leave u with some recent arm pics i liked... muah <3

sorry if this is odd to ask but what is your workout routine? I’m trying to motivate myself into exercise again and seeing how other people do it helps. Have a good one!

meant to reply to this sooner but I forgor… getting round 2 it now tho! disclaimer I dunno as much abt exercise science as I’d like to + don’t rly have any 'training' so my approach just comes from personal experience - take this w a pinch of salt lol. I’ll split it in 2 parts: my routine first + then a list of things that personally motivate me in a reblog in case u find any of that useful >:-) (under the readmore cuz this ended up being kind of long 👇)

ok so: I try to ‘actively’ work out 5 days a week. this tends to be broken into 1-2 longer full-body sessions (around 60-120 mins long, at the mo usually bouldering/parkour or a full-body home workout) with a rest day before/after + then 3-4 shorter home workouts (30-60 mins long, usually some form of weight/resistance training, targeting specific muscle groups). e.g. a fortnightly workout timetable might look smth like this for me:

I don’t tend to plan specific workouts more than a few days in advance so I don’t actually follow an explicit timetable like this. instead I set aside an ‘exercise timeslot’ every day (usually 4-6pm) and I’ll intuitively decide how to work out on the day – i.e., what part of my body feels ready to go? what part feels tired + needs a break? do I have the energy/focus to do 45 mins or do I need to shorten it to 30? do i need a rest day? working out regularly means I have a good sense of how long I need for certain muscles to recover so if there’s an activity I want to do on a specific day (like a sports club I wanna attend) I’ll keep it in mind and plan accordingly so I’m fresh for that. as a rule of thumb, I avoid working the same muscle group on consecutive days + give myself a full rest day before & after any intensive full-body workout. I also try to never take more than 3 back-to-back rest days unless I’m sick/on my period/life gets in the way – otherwise its very easy for me to fall out of routine even if I’ve maintained it for months beforehand (<- adhd ass)

(also worth noting – my ‘rest days’ aren’t completely ‘inactive’ – I’ll go for a walk or do some stretches/yoga or another gentle activity instead. I need a lot of physical movement in my life or I go stir crazy <- adhd ass strikes again)

my ‘home workouts’ are the sort of movements u can do at a gym with the equipment there, but I replicate them with a yoga mat + my own weights + a sturdy chair. I have 6kg & 10kg pairs of dumbbells, plus yoga blocks + resistance bands for extra challenge. most of my workouts are based on resistance/interval training, which is focused on increasing strength by repeating sets of movements/holds at a consistent intensity/pace for specific lengths of time, with short timed rest periods in-between (e.g., a typical workout might look like 45 mins of 45 movements targeting 1-2 muscle groups, each done for 40 seconds followed by a 20 second break before immediately moving onto the next).  I like it bc I can rly feel the progress I make + find it satisfyingly challenging (<-masochist) but also bc its easy to tailor to my own ability/how much energy I have that day etc by changing weights/pace. it also works with my adhd brain bc I only have to do each movement for 40-50 seconds at a time before moving on to smth else so I don’t get as easily distracted (as opposed to doing like xyz number of reps for xyz sets). if you’re interested, I swear by caroline girvan – I’ve done her EPIC programmes a few times now + often cherrypick from her videos when I want to work certain muscle groups without sitting down + compiling a list of individual exercises + setting a timer myself. the ‘EPIC beginner’ series is a great intro to her longer ones, I sometimes use that to ease myself back into working out if I haven’t for a while, but be warned it isn’t aimed at ppl who are completely new to that style of exercise. I think she has an app now that comes with an ‘absolute beginner’ version + a 14 day free trial(?) so might be worth checking that out. I will admit some of her stuff is TOUGH - I still can't do all of them w the same weights/pace she does... I particularly struggled with wrist strength when I started out too and had to do some separate conditioning/strengthening exercises before I could even work up to doing like. a single push up on my knees... so if u do check her out try not to get put off by how crazy strong she is bc thats literally her career skfjkj the important thing is just doing it to the best of ur own ability/to ur point of hypertension + keeping good form throughout!!

full body home workouts are pretty much more of the same just longer since I'm hitting more muscles (i.e. 60-90 mins) + sometimes with cardio elements (altho I can’t do HIIT workouts involving jumping at home bc I’m a respectful upstairs neighbour 😔). If I go to the bouldering gym (I try to go fortnightly atm) I’ll usually spend ~2 hours, focusing on trying to send one route at a time until my arms give out. im currently getting confident with V2 grades and tentatively working on V3s. its probs my fave sport, there's a level of problem solving to it that I find rly mentally stimulating... even tho I boulder solo, trips to the gym are social for me bc I often end up chatting to ppl working on nearby problems + picking up technique/advice from them, its a v welcoming space (I'm also planning on joining my new city's queer climbing group!). the parkour sessions I go to are also social, they're run locally for free around the city + structured by more experienced members in the community. they usually involve a warmup, conditioning, drills focusing on certain movements/jumps etc, and then free 'play' trying to put those moves into context. again ~2 hours long. im def not a pro at climbing or parkour but theyre super fun + would 100% rec if ur interested + can find a friendly local group for either, u can teach urself using online resources too :-)

goes without saying but I also warm up for at least 5 mins before doing ANYTHING!!! I try to cater it to the muscle group im planning on working with but still cover the whole body cuz its important to get ur heart rate up + even when u focus on one muscle group there will be others that get dragged in. I don't rly have a 'set' warmup but again caroline girvan has some good ones on her channel 👍 likewise always good to cool down after with stretches cuz future me will be grateful for it.. altho sometimes I'm a bit lazy abt it 🤭

okkkk i think that’s pretty much the bulk of it, I’ll stick my motivation tips in the reblog 😁

[wornoutmouse]

Look I wrote this for my friend but i popped the hell off with this one so if you don’t mind reading a name inbetween a few dialogue points pls read

You ran hurriedly through the halls of the school as the third bell finally rang. You had overslept and had barely made it onto the bus. Skidding to a stop, you slow down when you get to the door, catching your breath before entering. Just as you annoyingly expected, eyes dart towards you as soon as you entered, effectively catching the teacher’s attention.

 “This is the second time you are late young lady, one more time and I will have no choice but to write you up.” You smile awkwardly, “Sorry Miss, it won’t happen again.”  Ms. Bustier clicks her tongue disapprovingly as she watched her student walk to her seat, head hanging low. You sit down in your chair with a soft sigh as Ms. Bustier spoke about today’s lesson.

For the most part, you pay attention to the lesson being taught, that is until your attention is being interrupted by a pencil poking your side. From your peripheral vision, you see fluffy blond hair swaying gently to get your attention. You mutter under your breath, swiping the pencil with your hand, “Quit it Adrien I’m already in trouble.” The boy huffs but the playful aura still hung around making your skin buzz with excitement.

 Shifting in your seat, you squint your eyes at the smartboard, writing down notes every so often. Looking down once again, you notice a small piece of paper folded, You look at Adrien who boredly watched your teacher speak. Opening the paper you roll your eyes at the note inside. 

A - Late again are you Miss Mia? One more time and I might have to wake you up myself

Nibbling the tip of your pencil you write a note back, crumpling the paper before tossing it at Adrien’s head with a smirk.

You- Well maybe I wouldn’t have been so tired if you hadn’t interrupted my study time with your modeling rants

The paper is tossed back at your head, catching in your curly hair, making Adrien snort.

A- Well I can think of other ways to keep you up at night...

You cough loudly at the message, eyes darting at Adrien’s laid-back figure. You scribble down a quick snarky reply with shaking hands. You go to pass the paper but the sound of a throat clearing interrupts you. You turn to your left and are forced to look up, gulping when you notice your teacher’s signature white blazer. She holds her hand out and you reluctantly place the ball of paper in her hand.

“While I will not embarrass you by reading out your hidden messages, I will embarrass you by writing you up for detention.” Sputtering, you point an accusing finger at the smug boy behind you, “He started it first I was just..” You are hushed by a firm hand on your shoulder, “Well if that’s the case, both you and Adrien can join each other at study hall.” Adrien groans behind you and you throw a glare his way, one that he responds with a teasing wink. The sound of the bell ringing grimly reminds you of the dreadful time awaiting you in study hall after school.

 When you get thereAdrien is already there and waves you over to him. You narrow your eyes at him but sit next to him anyway. “Aww don’t look at me like that Mi, it’s not my fault you aren’t stealthy enough to pass a simple note in class.” You roll your eyes, “Well if you weren’t tossing notes like a child, we wouldn’t be here either.” Adrien laughs loudly earning a sharp look from the detention monitor. 

He mutters a silent apology as you busy yourself with a notepad and pencil. The study hall is silent and boring and 11 minutes feel like 11 hours as the clock ticks by. Adrien watches your small scribbles turn into different shapes and sizes. Before long, he notices you drawing a rather familiar face. “Whatcha drawing?” You shrug, watching your pencil make the shape of cat-like ears.

You continue drawing, briefly recognizing Adrien’s body heat as he watches over your shoulder. “You like Chat Noir huh?” Your precise pencil strokes outline the lean frame of one of Paris’s heros. While it is undoubtedly Chart Noir in a heroic setting, the way his eyes slant a little more than his mask allows and the way one of his hands rested on his chest did give way to a more seductive undertone. 

“Yeah, I think he’s pretty hot not gonna lie.” Adrien hums, the feeling of his short breaths blowing against your shoulder makes you shiver. “Really? Well, he can’t be hotter than I can he?” Adrien fluffs his hair pompously as he stretches his body lazily. “I don’t know maybe a little.” Adrien sticks his tongue out at you.

Your monitor stands up and walks towards the door before turning around, “Listen you two, I am going to get lunch, and I better see you two here when I come back or you’ll get worse than detention.” The teacher fixes you both with a long look before leaving. “They are a little stiff in the ass.” You chuckle resting your head on your palm. Adrien slouches in his chair to play on his phone, giving you the perfect opportunity to observe him. Your friend is attractive, that is something you’ve come to terms with a long time ago, hiding your crush away deep in your mind. 

“You like to stare at me when you think?” His tenor voice startles you out of thought and you realize you now have his full attention. Your face is warm and for once you are glad you couldn’t visibly blush. 

“Hey, Adrien? What did you mean by that last message you passed me in class?” You tried to pass the question off as casual but you could feel your heart racing as the room filled with daunting silence. “What do you think I meant?” 

Suddenly Adrien felt too close and the room felt smaller. When you made eye contact with him, his eyes were slanted just like Chat Noirs on your drawing. “You tell me.” You said boldly. Adrien pondered for a while, green eyes observing your features, going from your eyes, down your nose before finally resting on your plump lips. “Well, I think it meant exactly what it said.” Adrien placed a hand on your thigh, squeezing the flesh in his palm. “So tell me why you like Cat Noir?” You stare at nothing, unable to compute the absurd request that came seemingly out of nowhere.

“What?” Adrian’s hand doesn’t stop moving on your thigh, heating your skin through your jeans. “Come on Mi, humor me for a moment.” You hum softly in an attempt at calming your heart rate. “Well, I like how he seems to enjoy what he does,  saving people...” As you speak Adrien takes the time to scoot closer to you paying a sparing glance at the door your teacher left out of a moment ago. “What would you do if you met him?” His hands got closer to your inner thigh fiddling with your belt loops.

The urge to clench your legs together was immediate as the fire within you grew stronger. “I would thank him for his service and-” Adrien shushes you with the sound of your belt clinking a loose. “Let me rephrase, what do you want him to do to you?” Before you had comprehended your predicament, Adrien’s hand had found itself inside your pants.

You were sitting rigidly in your chair, lips parted in a silent exhale. Slender fingers focused themselves on your swelling bud, pressing soft circles on it in an effort to coax it out of its hood. Noting your tensed posture, Adrien tries to distract you. He’ll admit even to himself that this was a bold move on his part and he was surprised you hadn’t pushed him off at this point. “I can stop if you want me to?” You feel his fingers stop their ministrations and you quickly grab his wrist. “No!”

His concerned demeanor is quickly wiped away by a broad smirk as his fingers resumed their task. “Okay then.” He places a kiss on your shoulder through your shirt making you shiver. “You didn’t answer my question.” You nod and try to speak in a stable manner. “I would want him to- oh god!” Adrien’s fingers began to work overtime as they went down to your lips, now wet with your arousal. “I would want him to touch me there! Please.” 

Lips latched lazily on your skin, sucking hard enough for you to feel it but not hard enough for marks to be left behind. “Where is’ there’ Mia? Use your words.” Your back arched in your chair when you felt his slick index finger playfully dip inside of you before returning to your clit.  “Adrien~” Your soft moans were audible now, and every small whimper made his cock ache at the thought of being the cause of your sweet noises. Adrien mockingly hummed, “Oh I see now.”

“You want him to fuck that pretty pussy of yours don’t you?”  You make a strange noise that is a mix of surprise and a moan. You’d never think words like those could leave Adrien’s mouth. “Y-Yes!”  Adrien nodded moving to use both hands now, it was an awkward position but it was worth it seeing you fall apart by his hands. “I bet you think of him at night, kissing you slowly, while his hands roam your body.”  Adrien sinks his teeth in your shoulder blade making you jerk as a particularly hard burst of pleasure racks your body. “You look so damn sexy like this kitty cat.’

You lean forward, holding yourself up by your desk as Adrien’s fingers move faster on your clit. “I can feel how fast your heart is beating, you gonna cum?” The teasing tone in his voice ignited the smallest ounce of competitiveness within you. You grit your teeth and shake your head, “Don’t get so full of yourself Agreste.” Your eyes clenched shut at the feeling of a finger finally entering you. Adrien looked at you with narrowed eyes. He wasn’t a fan when you got competitive, especially when you were obviously bluffing.

There was a thin layer of sweat forming on your skin as your orgasm got closer. Adrien focused on the way your walls quivered around his finger. Your choked-back moans cut the air as he pumps his finger faster. Your wetness was dripping onto your underwear and around his palm making squelching noises. “Are you sure you aren’t going to cum?” Adrien whispered close to your ear taking glee when a tremor passed down your spine. Your orgasm was too damn close for him to stop so you decide to swallow your pride just this once. “F-faster, Adrien, I’m close.” Those were indeed the wrong words to say. Adrien slowed his finger down to slow pumps while his thumb pressed harshly on your clit. He laughed as he could practically feel it throbbing, “I thought you said you weren’t going to cum?” You try to grind down on his hand, bucking slightly as his rough palm stimulated your sensitive lips. “Don’t be an ass ah-fuck!”

You grip the edge of your desk as you finally cum on his hand. Your eyelids flutter and Adrien marvels that the feeling of your cunt that was squeezing him so tightly he could neither tell if it was pulling him in or pushing him out. 

You grunt as he removes his finger, when you look over at him, he is preoccupied with pulling his cock out while licking his fingers clean of your cum. Adrien whimpered around his fingers as his other hand jerked his cock sharply “Ah, you taste better than I thought.” Your eyes travel down his chest to meet his junior. It was thick and surprisingly long. You couldn’t help but feel sorrow for the angry red it was at the tip. But the vein traveling up the side made your mouth water.

His hips bucked to meet his hand desperately. Curses left his soft lips as he tossed his head back in pleasure. A deep warmth flooded your gut from the vibrant imagery of him fucking you with it. “Mia-ah shit.” You raise your head up to meet his eyes, your heart skipping a beat at how the green of his eyes was almost completely drowned by his pupils. “It’s not fair if I helped you get you off, but you won’t help me.” You scootch forward a little bit, swallowing your saliva, “What do you want me to do?” Adrien spread his legs with his hands holding the sides of his chair, “Come on Mi, I haven’t even fucked you yet and you’ve already gone dumb?” 

A hand comes on your shoulder and gently coaxes you down to your knees. You feel small as Adrien peers down at you,  gaze disrupted as his cock begins twitching in front of you. Nervousness enters your head as you quickly come to the realization of how large his dick actually was. “What, are you afraid Mia? Or do I need to get you into the mood?”  Adrien sits up straighter, “Claws out.”  Your tilt your head curious as he combs his fingers through his hair, revealing...cat ears? The sight of a green glow slithering around his body was almost as unnerving as the sight of his outfit changing right before you. 

In little as no time flat, Paris’s neighborhood hero sat in front of you in all his leather glory. His eyes seemed even greener than before, and his personality seemed to change right before you. “Adrien you’re Chat Noir!?” The blond shrugs nonchalantly, gripping his cock and slapping it against your cheek. “Mi I am all for the formalities, but I am so close to fucking your brains out right now, that I think it would be in your best interest to start sucking.” While still being conscious of your hairstyle, Adrien...Noir, pulls your head closer to his groin.

You resist the urge to scrunch your face at the feeling of precum being smeared on your mouth and chin. This resistance only makes Noir chuckle, “Stick your tongue out for me.”  As if it was routine, you do as he says and moan softly from the feeling of his tip tapping your warm muscle. “So fucking perfect for me.”  The praise makes you clench and gives you the courage to open your mouth wider. You suck on his member making him release a pleased growl. His hand laid limply on the back of your head as you take the lead.

The salty taste while slightly unpleasant, wholly addictive. Feeling your growing comfort, Adrien begins thrusting to meet your mouth. The tip of his cock goes all the way to the back of your throat making you choke before dragging back but the sounds of you struggling doesn’t dissuade him. The feeling of your tongue grazing over his vein just before your throat constricted around him drove him wild. Your tiny whimpers made his balls vibrate as he moved faster.

You place your hands on his thighs in order to stable yourself as his thrusts got more brutal. Slob collected around your mouth before dripping down your chin and finally collected by his balls every time they hit your jaw. “Fuck I’m going to cum, I’m going to cum!” Adrien’s voice pitched higher as his claws scratched into the wooden chair of his seat. His head tossed back violently as his thrusts became sloppy, legs shaking. Loud sobs left his mouth as you bright him closer to the edge each thrust is accentuated by filthy words. “Your mouth is so. fucking. Tight. Fuck Mia!”

You felt cum shoot down your throat as Adrien holds your head painfully against this crotch. He weakly thrusts into your mouth a few more times before realizing you. Gasping for air, you wipe your mouth of saliva and look up at Adrien as he catches his breath.  Rough hands grip your chin making you look up at him. “You looked wrecked Mi.” Adrien laughs as he wipes cum off the corner of your mouth.  You stand up wobbly and albeit a bit light-headed, Adrien stands with you and kisses your lips, enjoying the taste of himself in your mouth.

“We are going to finish this later.” Before your brain could even prompt you to ask, the bell rings signaling that detention was over. Adrien deactivates his miraculous before grabbing his backpack and leaving detention hall.

[dabisqueen]

Suck It Up

Shigaraki x Reader

⇢ rating: 18+

⇢ word count: roughly 1.5K

⇢ plot: coming back from a mission, you forgot to report to your boss. He didn't take it all that well.

⇢ warnings: 18+, smut, noncon, nipple play, nipple orgasm, vaginal sex, vaginal orgasm, creampie, threatening of quirk use, aged up characters

⇢ NO MINORS ALLOWED!!!

---------------------------------

I came back to the League's Headquarters sweaty and dirty in dire need of a shower. I stripped off my clothes and stepped underneath the shower. I felt specially aroused, being that time of the month, my ovaries close to exploding, my breasts sensitive and tender. I loved the way the warm water caressed my skin, enjoying the tingling feeling between my legs. I slipped a hand down my thighs, sliding over my sensitive nub as I rested my back against the cold tiles, a welcoming cooling for my overheated body. Rubbing my clit and teasing my nipples it didn't take long for me to cum.

Feeling elated, I dried myself off, slipping into an oversized white button up shirt. It hung just above my knee and I almost disappeared in it. But it was the most comfortable thing I owned and I loved wearing it. The cottony fabric felt good against my soft skin, rubbing against my nipples, perking them up. I went about tidying my room when suddenly the door opened and Shigaraki barged in.

“Hey brat, never reported to me on-," he stopped mid sentence, seeing me standing in the middle of the room, half dressed. My wet hair hung in disheveled strands around my face, water dripping off them, making my shirt transparent and cling to my skin.

His messy pale tufts covered most of his face and I could only make out his glowing red eyes staring at me.

"Boss, m'sorry, forgot." I mumbled, my cheeks flushing, my breasts still erect from the heightened arousal.

His gaze raked my half covered body, fixing on my hard nubs, his eyes a rapturous look in them. His tongue darted out and snaked over his cracked lips.

He snarled, "I don't like disobedience, especially not slacking off,“ and took a step towards me.

I fumbled for words as he approached me further. My cheeks were ablaze by now, my body reacting on it's own as I felt a familiar heat starting to kindle inside my core.

He noticed my reaction and his lips curled up into a smirk, stepping right in front of me, only inches away. I gasped, never being so close, so personal to him. My breath hitched as he leaned in, smelling him, damp dust and linen.

"I can think of a way to make it up to me," his voice just a rasp.

Blood was rushing into my core now, as I stumbled back until the back of my legs hit the bed.

"Lay down," his hoarse voice demanding at me.

"Boss-“ I pleaded but he tutted quietly at me "You know what I do to someone pissing me off,“ and he wiggled his fingers in demonstration. I winced and turned around, crawling to the middle of the bed, laying down on my back, hair framing my face nestled into the pillow, hands balled into fists.

He stepped next to the bed, climbed over me and sat down on my legs, straddling me, knees to each side of my hips.

He smirked and rasped “Open," gesturing at my shirt. I struggled beneath him, but, realizing I was impaled by him, I hesitantly started to undo my shirt, button after button. As I reached the bottom he took each hem with two fingers and pulled them to the side, exposing myself to him. My breath hitched as the cold air hit my naked skin, making my erect nipples bud up even harder.

"Boss-" I winced but he cut me off with a hand gesture.

He started stroking my belly, and then up around and in between my breasts. He circled them with large strokes of his calloused hand, giving my breasts a little squeeze, before dipping his face down to hover over them. His breath was hot against my skin, stimulating my already rattled nerves. His fingertips caught my nipple, rolling it lightly between two fingers and as that nub puckered and stiffened even more, he moved on to the other.

I couldn't help but mewl below him, an unfamiliar feeling arising in my breasts, not being used to such attention. His tongue darted out, the flat of it sliding over my skin, drawing little soft whimpers from me. He drew my hardened nipple into his warm mouth, latching around it, licking it, tracing little circles around it, flicking it with the tip of his tongue.

Jolts of pleasure ran through my body, building up an unknown heat each time. I arched my back, moaning as he kept sucking relentlessly,

"You're really sensitive," he rasped, cracked dry lips contorted into a slim smirk, brushing them over my erect nubs. I could only answer with an incomprehensible gargle. When he bit down on my nub, just enough to hurt but not to lacerate my sensitive skin, my mouth fell open, a heated moan shooting up my throat and my eyes rolled back with pleasure. He kept groping my breast, twisting its nub, letting off throaty grunts as he kept biting into the other, setting off fireworks throughout my body. It was enough stimulation for the coil inside me to wind tighter, my overstimulated nipples continuing to shoot off sparks down to my core.

A low raspy hum vibrated through his body, my breasts and my body as he kept mouthing, licking me. I managed to let out "Oh my god," and he pulled back, letting out a throaty giggle, seeing me fully delirious below him. He bent down again and continued.

I was pushed to my limit, hesitant to let go, a fire spreading throughout my whole body as the pleasure built slowly and gradually. And then, without a warning, it exploded out of nowhere. Waves of orgasmic pleasure rippled through my body and I let out a high pitched screech. My back arched, and my hips bucked below him while he let out short raspy groans, still sucking on my tits, drawing continuous moans from me.

I was slowly coming down from my high, tears pegging my eyes, a sight that had him snicker with a glint in his eyes "That sensitive, huh?" followed by a throaty chuckle.

I lay below him, unable to move, my whole body still tingling with pleasure. He scooted off, just far enough to pull my legs apart and positioned himself between them. Still trying to catch my breath I heard the rustle of fabric and looked up with opium blown eyes.

He kneeled between my legs, sweats pulled down. Stroking his freed distinct cock, he positioned himself at my wet entrance and slowly slid in.

I threw my head back, biting my lips, trying to hold back tears. I let out little huffs of breath as I tried to accommodate his size, while he pressed forward, inch by inch, until he was fully buried deep inside me, his pale tufts kissing my sensitive button.

I gasped, the feeling of being impaled on him too intense. My body was set on fire, every nerve in overdrive, I felt so full I could hardly breathe. He looked down at the belly bulge and muttered so tight, eyes glowing with unquenchable desire.

He slowly pulled back and my mind exploded right away, the ridge of his head rubbing along my sensitive walls, sending sparks flying through my body.

"Oh god, this- ahhh," it was too much for me. Once almost out, he pushed back in with a strong thrust, having me keen out loud. I clawed into the sheets, gasping, moaning as he started to thrust into me, still staring at my flat belly being stretched and filled with each rut, sucking in shallow excited breaths.

"This is fucking hot," he rasped, slightly breathless, a little drop of sweat running down his cheek.

Dissociated and overwhelmed by the pleasure rolling through me, every nerve was on fire as each of his ruts had me hurling towards an unknown edge. He increased the speed, pounding into me now, grabbing my hips, pinkies raised as he also started to get lost in the sensation. Sounds of our sexes combined, heated noises of pleasure filled the air while we both neared our highs with each jerk of his hips.

My vision went blurry, my mouth open, continuous moans falling from it and I felt a powerful climax nearing. With a particularly strong rut all my restraints snapped like a twig, waves of pleasure rolling over me and I came. Trembling and moaning, I clawed at the sheets, yelling whatever words first came to my mind in a jumbled mess, my insides twitching and contracting around him.

After a few more rut, fervently burrowing his face in my neck, he spilled his milky seed deep into my cunt, dribbling out around his length, leaving a mess on the patch of white curls at the base of his dick.

He convulsed on top of me, sweaty skin sticking to each other as we both rested, trying to catch our breath. Eventually, he pulled out and closed his pants back up. My mind still fogged, I hardly noticed him getting up and moving towards the door, opening it.

Just as I heard the click of it closing behind him I was coming to enough to remember something important. My eyes shot open, hands darted down to my cum soaked folds between my thighs.

"Shit."

----------------------------

Masterlist

@sage-malf0y @scruffymctee @undefined--person @diamond-3 @vixxen-chan @tirzamisu @supermegapauselouca

[smuttyassholes]

Show off - San

It was his fault, really, so you honestly didn’t understand why he was mad.

He left you alone to go fuck around with his friends. He let some random girl swoon all over him. 

Sure, he didn’t let her touch him but the fact that he entertained her attention was enough to irk you. But fine. Whatever. Why were you gonna let him ruin your night?

You glared towards him as you downed the rest of your drink before making your way towards the dancefloor, your hips swaying as soon as you found a spot.

It didn’t take long for your whole body to follow as you lost yourself in the music. It also didn’t take long before you felt someone watching you.

Thinking it was San finally deciding to pay attention, you up-ed your performance and got more into it. Your hands coming up to run through your hair as you moved it from your face.

You could feel someone walking towards you and when you turned, you were greeted with someone who most definitely wasn’t your boyfriend, but a rather attractive girl who smiled as she made eye contact with you.

No words were exchanged as she put her hands on your waist and you wrapped your hands around her neck, your fingers playing with the stray strands of hair that fell from her ponytail.

While you and the mystery girl got more comfortable, you felt someone watching you again. This time you looked up, meeting the glaring eyes of the same man that had left you alone just an hour ago.

You smirked slightly as you turned in the mystery girl’s arms, your hips moving against hers while you moved her hands to wrap around your waist.

Your eyes stayed locked on San as you continued dancing, almost challenging him to do something.

He stayed still, though. The only difference being his tightened jaw while his leg started bouncing. You took it as a partial win and made your dancing a bit more sensual, trying to get him to do something. It wasn’t long before you got the reaction you wanted and saw him heading straight for you, giving you no time to react as you were being dragged away, towards the exit, and through the parking lot.

“Wh-”

“Shut it.” He cut you off, his grip on you tightening as he pushed you against the car. “What am I gonna do with you? Hmm?” He asked, his breath next to your ear.

“Well what was I supposed to do?” You countered. “I was bored, so I had to have fun somehow.”

“Fun? That’s what you’re calling it?” He scoffed as his hand reached for the bottom of your dress. “I don’t think giving out what’s mine counts as ‘fun’.” He growled as he hand slid under to grope your ass.

“I think,” He said, his fingers moving under your panties and towards your slit. “You wanted attention.” He said, a smirk forming as he felt just how wet you were. “That or you were wanting someone else to take care of you.”

“Maybe I was.” You spoke through a gasp as he ran a finger over your clit. “Someone had to if you weren’t.”

“Are you really in a position to start that right now?” He scoffed. “I can easily walk away.”

It was your turn to scoff.

“Considering you were the one who dragged me out,” You started, reaching for the buttons on his suit. “I don’t think you’ll be walking away.” You licked your lips as you dragged your finger towards his belt, slightly undoing it. “So why don’t you throw me into the backseat and fuck me like we both know you want to.”

He scoffed and pulled away, stepping slightly so he could open the backseat door. You moved to get in but he stopped you, sitting in the edge before you could.

“I could care less if I’m the one who dragged you out.” He started, moving his hands out to grab your hips and pull you onto his lap. “You know well enough that I can control myself for hours,” His hands pushing up the hem of your dress. “And I know well that you get whiny if I tease you long enough.” His eyes locked with yours as he lightly pulled the fabric up, hinting for you to move so he could lift it more. “So you tell me.” He spoke as his hands bunched the fabric at your waist, the cool night air making you shiver. “You can ride me right here, or we can go home and I won’t let you cum for a week. Maybe two.” He shrugged with the latter part.

The tone in his voice made you shiver again. It wasn’t like you two were shy when it came to public sex, but with the current situation you knew he wouldn’t go easy on you. You looked towards the doors of the club and bit your lip. It wasn’t like you’d be easy to see, anyways.

Without words, you undid the button to his pants and slid his zipper down. He took it into his own hands to pull himself out of his boxers and you felt your face flush knowing what he was trying to get at.

With your dress bunched up and you already on his lap, you lifted yourself up and placed him underneath you. You slowly lowered yourself onto his tip, a shaky breath coming out as you tried to keep quiet.

His hands dropped the fabric and rested on your hips. You were going to look up at him, thinking he’d gone soft for a moment, but all thoughts left your head as he forced you to take all of him. Your mouth fell open as your head fell against him, praying that the noise that left you was quieter than you thought.

“Since you wanted to show off, I thought I’d do the same.” He whispered, kissing the top of your hair. “Now get up and ride it before I make this more obvious.”

You screwed your eyes shut as you felt yourself clench around him, hoping he wasn’t going to say anything. You didn’t try to pull yourself up but started moving your hips instead only for him to stop you.

“No, no.” He said, one of his hands coming up to grab your hair and pull you back so you’d look at him. “You can do better.” He cooed. “I want the same treatment your little friend in there got.” His eyes glared as he cocked his head towards the door.

You picked your head up and looked at him with soft eyes, hoping for just a smidge of leniency that you knew deep down you weren’t going to get. It wasn’t helping that you were still trying to adjust to his size.

“What, baby?” He feigned concern. “Did you want me to help you?”

You nodded your head slowly, still maintaining eye contact. His hand left your hair and returned to your hip, wasting no time in lifting them so he could move you. Everything was happening too fast and you were already starting to forget about where you were.

"My stupid, little baby," He grunted as he settled on a doable pace. He wouldn't admit it, but with the day he's had, he wasn't sure if he could hold himself back. "You still haven't learned that being a brat gets you nowhere."

You thought about saying how it was his fault, but a sudden hand on your throat had that thought fading away, a small gasp coming out in its place.

“Not gonna say anything?” He smirked. “Is it because you can’t or because you know whatever you say would make it worse?”

You were grateful he’d cut you off because you’re sure your voice would���ve been a dead giveaway to the actions going on. You nodded your head and started meeting his thrusts, your own need to cum taking over your movements.

He took the hint and sped up, his hands going back to your hips to make sure you took all of him with every thrusts.

With no hand to shut you up, you felt your face flush as you weren’t so quiet anymore, the heat getting more intense as you felt the wet fabric of his pants every time his hips met you.

“Fuck,” You whimpered out as your head fell onto his shoulder, your stomach tightening at the thought of him walking around with the stained pants had your head spinning. You knew he wouldn’t think twice to let whoever asked know exactly what happened.

“San, I can’t, please.” The words came out before you had a chance to think and you were met with a look of amusement.

“That wasn’t a part of the deal.” He reminded you, his movements slowing down until you were sat on his lap.

“I just don’t think I can keep quiet any longer.” You spoke through closed eyes, scared he would see the lie. “I just want to cum without having to hold back.”

“And why should I care about what you want?” He countered, giving you a slow trust for emphasis. “Especially when you were so disobedient earlier.”

You couldn’t find the answer to his question, only letting out small whimpers as he kept the taunting pace. 

“Can you really not handle it, baby?” He raised a brow, his hands wrapping around the small of your back, not waiting for your response before continuing. “If that’s the case, maybe I could let you off easy.” He licked his lips. “And you’d be thankful if I did, right?”  

You nodded helplessly, hoping this wasn’t another punishment of his. 

“I’ll fuck you stupid once we’re home, all you have to do is suck me off right here.” He whispered, the tone making you clench again and he chuckled. “Can you do that for me, princess?”

You let out a shaky ‘yes’ and slowly removed yourself from his lap, a small whine coming out as the empty feeling took over. You got up, leaning down so you weren’t showing through the window. You looked behind you, wondering if the door would cover you. 

“C’mon, princess.” He reassured. “If you make it quick, you won’t have to worry about getting caught.” He motioned you over with his finger.

You hesitated before finally settling on the thought that the car door would be enough to cover you. You bent over, taking him into your mouth and working your way down, gagging slightly when he reached the back of your throat. 

Fearing you’d make anymore noise, you looked up at him in hopes he would take control, which he gladly did. His hair wrapped itself in your hair, holding you still while he worked his hips into you. 

“God, your mouth always feels so good.” He groaned out as his head fell back. “And your ass always looks so good sticking out like that.” He rasped. “I’m sure it would be even better if someone else was fucking you while you sucked me off, what do you think?” 

You whined at the thought, letting San know you weren’t entirely opposed to the idea. He chuckled and held you down while he settled in your throat for a few seconds.

“Good to know.” He groaned as he pulled you off, watching you gasp as tears welled in your eyes. “I’m just not sure I could let someone else see you like this.” He tsked, pushing you back down, but only keeping you at his tip. “But seeing your face right here while someone else fucks you,” He paused, slowly pushing you back down. 

“I think that’s something I need to see.”

- asshole 4

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse’s Girl

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Derogatory Terms

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: Y/N’s life as a regular college student is forever stripped away from her when her relationship with the famous YouTuber Corpse Husband is accidentally revealed during an online class of hers. How will she cope with the sudden spotlight and the unwanted attention, some of which crosses into bullying?

Requested by my amazing Tumblr friend @itsminniekat 🥰 She’s been reading and liking my works since day one and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. If you’re reading this, all I can say is thank you, darling. Thank you so much for sticking by my blog even when I posted some crappy fics. I’ll make sure this ain’t one of them. Love you with all my heart. ❤❤❤

P.S. - I named the mean character with my name so I hope no one who reads this has the same name. Wouldn’t want any of you feeling like the villain 😘

Who knew online class would be even more boring than being physically present for a lecture? Seriously, I find myself doing the weirdest of crap to entertain myself - like trying to balance a pen on the tip of my nose for example. I jot down some notes every now and then but that’s basically it. My mind can not fathom the concept on concentrating on whatever my professors are going on and on about. Well, full disclosure, I couldn’t concentrate even if I wanted to, especially with my boyfriend streaming in the other room.

He’s currently playing Among Us with his usual gaming squad. Listening to his input during the discussions, I can always tell when he’s lying. I honestly find it hilarious that his friends can’t pick up when he’s bullshitting them. I sometimes wonder if he has brainwashed them. And that’s one of the main reasons we don’t play Among Us together - he can’t lie to me. Not only do I pick up on his con with ease, but he always says he feels bad when he lies to me which is just the sweetest thing. Also, I refuse to play cause I’m shy. His friends are all well-known content creators and I’m a literal nobody. Every now and then I find myself wondering why Corpse is even with me. He’s always quick to push those thoughts out of my head and make sure they don’t return on a long notice, but they do interrupt my peace from time to time.

“Y/N, do you know?“ The sound of my professor saying my name takes me out of my eavesdropping of Corpse’s stream.

I panic, but quickly improvise, “Sorry, my internet is slow, you cut out for a second. What was the question?” I feel my face heating up, making me glad we are allowed to keep our cameras off.

“Question number 15 on page 82 in your textbook. Do you know the answer to it?“ My professor repeats himself, his tone annoyed.

I look down at the page that’s already opened in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the question is rather easy.

“Yeah, um, it’s...“ Suddenly, Corpse’s laugh reaches my room loud and clear. There’s no doubt my mic picked up the noise, especially since the door to my room is open.

The color drains from my face as I hurry to say the answer and remute myself. My eyes are wide as I stare at my screen, hoping no one will acknowledge that very recognizable laugh.

“OMG Y/N, are you watching a Corpse Husband stream in class?” One of the bitches in my class, Vy, speaks up, “Not a very goody-two-shoe move on your part, dear.” 

I purposely unmute my mic to mumble a quick ‘Shut up, bitch’ that somehow manages to fly under my professor’s radar and the class continues. It’s the first time something like this has happened and I’m not sure if I handled it properly or not.

The class ends shortly after, allowing me a sigh of relief as I disconnect from the meeting. 

“Fucking finally.“ I mumble to myself, leaning back in my desk chair. Tilting my head backwards, I see Corpse standing in the doorframe. I grin, not only because his presence itself makes me ten times happier, but also because he’s upside down from my viewpoint. “Well, hello there! How long have you been spying on me?“

He struts over to me, leaning his face over mine, “Long enough.” His lips linger above mine without any actual contact before he pulls away, allowing me to sit up straight and proper in the chair. “You still have classes?”

I nod my head while disappointedly rolling my eyes, “Yeah. One more. Shouldn’t be too bad since it’s English Lit. You’re done streaming?”

“Yeah, I just have some other things to do. I haven’t done a narration video in a while, I miss making that type of content.“ He plops down on my bed, running a hand through his messy black curls.

“Weren’t you recording some lines a few days ago?“ I frown as I try to recall if what I’m referring to actually happened or my brain is too fried to decipher reality from my bootleg perception of it. Online class, man - messes with your head like sleeping pills - makes you disoriented and exhausted with barely doing anything other than trying to wrap your brain around a lecture or two.

He hums affirmatively, “It’s not a finished project and I don’t even know if I’ll use those or rerecord them. I’ll have to listen to them again before I make a final decision.“

I tilt his chin upwards with my pointer finger, a gesture he has told me he finds very endearing, “I’m sure they’re great and you just refuse to be satisfied. Everything you do is great.“

He smiles a small, shy smile, his fingers gently wrapping around my wrist, holding my hand in place, “You’re biased. You like me too much to tell me when I do some bullshit.”

I scoff, “You know that isn’t true. If someone’s gonna kick your butt in formation, it’s gonna be me.“ I give him a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away from him, “Go on, now. I have a class to attend. You distract me enough while you’re in the other room, I can only imagine how hard it’d be for me to focus if you were right by my side.“

He smirks, bowing a little as he makes his way out of the room, “You flatter me.”

I playfully roll my eyes, getting my headset back on as I tap the last class for the day. We have an assignment due to the start of the class which we’ll have to present if the professor approved of it. We basically had to write a psychoanalysis of a character from any book of our choice. I chose Heathcliff from ‘Wuthering Heights’ which is one of my favorite books of all time. I’m proud of what I wrote and the way I wrote it, but I’ve always barely scraped by with a B in this class, a B+ if I’m lucky, so I’ve never gotten any major credit, even when I put my 110% in the assignments and projects.

Well, color me surprised when the professor calls on me first to read my work, complimenting it on its detailed and specific nature. I get my printed assignment out in front of me and unmute myself.

“I wrote a psychoanalysis on for Heathcliff, a character from Emily Bronte’s novel ‘Wuthering Heights’.“ Just after I say this line, Corpse’s voice booms throughout the whole apartment, no doubt being picked up by my mic. It doesn’t sound like he’s actually talking, he can’t be that loud. I put two and two together when I recognize the lines he’s saying - the ones he recorded a few days ago. They’re coming from his computer speakers. He probably didn’t check the volume before playing back the recording.

I mute myself as quickly as possible, but it’s too late. The voice dies down as Corpse probably turned down the speakers.

My professor, who is already done with this lecture, just annoyedly remarks, her words overdosed with sarcasm: “Read your assignment and you can go back to whatever it is you are watching.”

“Wow, Y/N! Again?! Are you one of those crazy obsessed fans or something? Is Corpse Husband all you watch?“ This bitch is really poking a stick at me, huh? The only crazy obsessed fan here is her, and my friends but they are allowed. Little do all of them know, I am obsessed but not simply over a YouTuber. I’m obsessed with my boyfriend who just happens to be a YouTuber.

“No commentary, please.“ The professor scolds her, “Go on, Y/N.“

I finish reading without any other disturbances. The professor compliments my essay again when I’m done, the small incident at the beginning forgotten already. Well, not by everyone. One of my friends shot me a quick text to joke about it which only earned an eye roll from me.

My friends don’t know that I’m dating Corpse either. As I said, they are simping HARD over him while I act the most indifferent on the subject. Whenever they ask my opinion on him I either say ‘he’s OK’ or just avoid answering completely. I know saying anything more enthusiastic than that would turn into a snowball rolling down a snowy hill - I’d just keep babbling about how nice, amazing, wonderful and a gift to this world Corpse is, inevitably revealing our relationship in the process.

I’m afraid of revealing my relationship with Corpse in front of these people. They are all run on jealousy and selfishness and I can only imagine how mean they’d be about it. I’m already not too fond of them, it would only be worse if any of my personal life was exposed.

When the class finally ends I remove my headset, putting my forehead down on the desk, barely missing the keyboard. I groan in frustration and anger at myself for not fighting back. I could’ve and should’ve said something - ANYTHING. But what? That’s a question I can’t find the answer to.

“Hey...“ Corpse’s hesitant voice comes from behind me, “You ok?“

I straighten my posture, turning to him with a smile. “Yeah, but these people suck.”

I get up from my chair as he approaches me, basically falling in his arms. The comfort I feel radiating off of him makes me relax, forget the past hour or so. He has always had this effect on me. Like my own personal kryptonite to my anger and anxiety.

“Did I get you in any trouble because of that?“ His voice shows clear concern and guilt. 

I wrap my arms around him tighter, burying my head in his chest. “No, don’t worry about it.“ 

And I really wasn’t in trouble. Not until now that the video is officially posted....

I can call these people dumb all I want but they sure put two and two together awfully fast. They recognized the lines they heard during class as the same ones from his new video that came out almost a week after the incident, aka two days ago. It’s safe to say I haven’t touched my phone or computer since.

“This is all my fault.“

Of all the horrible things I suspected would happen this has to be the worst - Corpse is blaming himself for it. I am prepared to take all the shit these people have to throw at me but seeing Corpse beating himself up over this is killing me. No amount of convincing can change his mind. Nothing I say helps.

“Please, stop doing this to yourself. Non of this is your fault, Corpse.“ I’ve repeated this sentence more than a thousand time these past forty eight hours, each time saying it more and more desperately.

“All of it is my fault, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I hate myself so much.“ Has been his reply single time.

 I can’t watch him be so mean to himself. It’s the most conflicting thing when the person you love most is torturing themselves. It’s easy if it’s someone else doing it, you just kick their ass. But what are you supposed to do when the person you want to protect is the same one you need to protect them from.

Corpse has shut himself away in his recording room these past few hours and though he clearly needs to be alone, he still left the door open just a crack cause he knows I’ll be worried sick otherwise.

While I’m alone in the living room, I’ve finally managed to brace myself and build enough courage to power up my laptop. Last time it was on it was going mad with notifications.

“It’s digital. Only digital. It can’t hurt you too badly if it can’t touch you, right?“ I mumble to myself, already frustrated despite not having yet seen all the horrors that await me.

And horrors there were. Everywhere. Twitter. Instagram. Facebook.

My grades. Some pictures of me no one has ever seen. My school files. People from my class tweeting Corpse to ‘expose’ me for the ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ I really am. Corpse hasn’t touched social media either and I plan on making sure it stays that way. God only knows how much worse he’ll get if he sees these claims.

And then, like a notification sent straight from hell, an email from my professor.

Practical lectures on Friday. Be here at 9 AM. Don’t forget your mask and gloves.

Good thing I opened my laptop when I did. Friday is tomorrow and I need to prepare for this day. Not only do I need to hit the books but I need to toughen up a bit. I can’t go there looking like I feel - like a mess.

Alright, time to put the brave face on. No more wallowing in it, at least not until tomorrow afternoon.

I make a study plan and hop in the shower. I feel the need to apologize to my hair for washing it so roughly, basically yanking at my strands from frustration that has been suppressed for too long.

I get our of the boiling hot shower, red as a lobster, and change into some clean comfortable clothes and put my ass in study mode. I remove all the scary expectations of the morning to come from my mind and let the information the textbooks has to offer seep into my brain.

                                                            *  *  *

I’m about to head out and, despite my put-together composure, I am a wreck inside. I actually put effort into my appearance, I mean - I even styled my hair. A pretty façade to hide a ruin.

I saw my friends’ texts last night, all three of them ending their friendship with me because they felt betrayed. I haven’t yet decided how to feel about that. Doesn’t matter at the moment, there are more important matters at hand, aka surviving the next three hours.

My college is within ten minutes walking distance from our apartment. That ten minute walk has never been so stressful, not even during exam season. The air feels a little harder to breathe, the path a little shorter to walk. And my moment of reckoning a little too close.

I feel eyes on me the second I start walking through the park of our campus. Sure, I could just be paranoid, but the feeling is too real to be just my imagination in overdrive. I’m glad I have my hair down and a mask on so the redness of my cheeks and neck isn’t on display. That’s a sign of weakness right now.

We have two an hour and a half long classes between which we have a snack break that’s half an hour. I usually enjoy that period but I’m dreading it now. These assholes can only be so mean in the presence of a professor, but during lunch break they can increase that tenfold. 

“Well if it isn’t Corpse’s girl.“ I hear that a lot. The whispers are not so much whispers as intentionally loud enough for me to hear remarks. I’m not bothered by them, it’s the least they can do. If I let such a simple thing get to me, I’d be crumbling by the end of first period.

I hear some shuffling behind me and out of the corner of my eye I see, yeah you guessed it, THAT bitch. She’s standing as close to me as she can without violating Covid regulations. A mask is covering her face but the menacing look in her eyes tells me all I need to know about the interaction that’s about to go down.

“I’d ask how much he pays you for the hour.....“ her long nails tap the wooden desk, “but that’d be rude. I bet it’s tough being a maid. Do you just clean or are you a multipurpose lap dog? No offense, I’m genuinely curious.“

“Vy, would you be so kind as to give Y/N some room to breathe?“ The professor asks as he nonchalantly walks in.

Vy rolls her eyes, batting her eyelashes at me, “Talk to you later, sweetheart.” With a fake friendly wave she’s out of my hair, at least for now.

Remember what I said about these people not being as dumb as I pegged them to be? Yeah, scratch that. These fuckers actually tried getting away with taking pictures of me with flash in broad daylight. Like, HELLO! I have two functioning eyes and a brain, I’m onto you. Sadly, me having figured out their childish but hurtful methods of humiliating me doesn’t change much. They still posted the pics they took, using the most derogatory terms they could find in the English language, always making sure to tag Corpse and me both.

Needless to say, these were the longest three hours of my life.

                                                              *  *  *

Shutting the door to our apartment behind me causes relief of the highest levels. I feel like I’ve locked out all the bad shit I have had to deal with these past twenty four hours. 

I’m tired. I’m fucking exhausted. I feel like a discarded piece of paper. 

And it all starts crumbling. A wall is bound to start slowly falling apart after being hit over and over again, each time feeling the blows with a stronger intensity. 

I slide down the door sitting down on the floor and slowly taking my shoes off. I put my bag beside me and wrap my arms around my knees, hiding my head in the space between them and my chest.

One tear slides down my cheek.

Another follows.

And another, this time accompanied by a choked sob.

A pair of arms wraps around the ball that my body has been shaped into. One of his hands comes up to stroke my hair gently, feeding me the comfort I have been longing for since I left the apartment this morning.

“I saw it. All of it. All the shit they talk about you. All the names they call you. And I’ve never wanted to beat so many people up simultaneously.“ His words make me raise my head from its low position, giving him a knowing look. “I wish I could. I would, but that would land me in jail. Which doesn’t even sound so bad cause I don’t like going out. Only problem is you wouldn’t be with me. I wouldn’t want you to be there with me, don’t get me wrong, I’d never want you to end up in jail. I-...” I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. A quick kiss that says so much but mainly shows the immeasurable gratitude for his support.

Seeing those awful tweets and comments had the complete opposite effect on him. He no longer blames himself but the people who actually deserve the blame - all those jerks from my college.

I pull away, giving him a small smile. “I would never let you go to jail.” 

He smiles back at me, overjoyed that my mood is slowly being lifted, “Come on, I have a nice crowd that would like to meet you.”

I know exactly what he means. Felix, Sean, Rae, Dave, Sykkuno and the rest of his friends. The people I’ve been so shy and afraid to meet since day one. Being shy doesn’t really make sense now, seeing as how they know I exist and that I’m a part of Corpse’s life. 

What do I have to lose?

“Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.“ Corpse’s black avatar runs around my cyan one in the Among Us lobby.

I can’t help but giggle when I unmute my mic, “Hi everyone! It’s so nice to finally meet you.“ They each introduce themselves, expressing how happy they are to be meeting me too.

It’s the first time in what feels like a while that I’m truly having fun. These people are wonderful, each so unique and lovely. They never brought up the scandal nor acted as though they knew about it. I know they did and I am beyond grateful that they never mentioned it or treated me any differently because of it. Also, Corpse was streaming the whole time. I had my phone on his stream, my eyes nervously scanning the chat every now and then. I couldn’t believe it. Corpse’s real fans were just as wonderful as his friends - they were nothing but supportive and happy to have met me.

Now, I can either choose to believe these people were being so nice to me out of sympathy or I can believe they really like me and appreciate me for who I am and not for what happened to me. 

I choose to believe the latter.

And while I’m still getting accustomed to this whole new spotlight, I know I’ll be able to handle it as long as I’m holding Corpse’s hand in the process. All I need is to have him beside me and I’m prepared to tackle anything.

“They love you.“ Corpse tells me once the stream is done and we’ve hopped out of the Discord call, “But I love you more.“

His arms wrap around my waist while mine instinctively find their way around his neck, “I love them, too. But they’re at the number 2 spot.”

He smirks at me, “I wonder who’s at number 1.”

I push up on my toes, putting my lips an inch away from his, “Hmm, I wonder...”

He doesn’t let me finish, silencing my teasing with a sweet, loving kiss.

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