#why ? idk. atleast i saw my dog today

[hauntedotherworld]

m back

ive been clearing my stuff and getting shit ready so that i can finally die and not overthink all that stuff, and i might do it somewhere else, one of these nights

but the (physical) pain i was in yesterday meant i had to take codeine and it knocked me out a little bit so that stopped me setting it up

today im carrying on clearing out ny atuff because i need stuff shit to be gone so that i can do it with no secondary thoughts

didnt eat or drink in 2 days, theres no food or drink (except water i guess) here (literally) they do that on purpose. get plenty of stuff for themselves but if i fought with them they leave me with nothing (not like i have money either) i would runaway. but nowhere to go for now, i dont care anyway ill happily strve anyway

just gonna deal with it h it but wow the days dragging on and i feel complete misery and rejection.. they never care or stick up for me ever, my mthr chooses my dad over me as she always did so

cool 👍🏻 she hasnt talked to me in 2 says eitherfor no reason, and she didnt care when i said im kllng myself and when i sent them my s/h yesterday wanting her to stick up for me FOR ONCE and tell that man to leave

she didnt lol. this situations happened all througg my life with my d*d and (brthr )

man really the more im thinking of lastnight again the more i want to end it right NOW

it sucks. life sucks. especially when you have genuinely nobody who cares they all left and my family treat me like shit through vile words and violence or abandoning.. all i have is my dog and cats. lastnight when it was so unbearable and i was gonna setup the rope i was thinking of her and although i cant stay here for anybody because its not possible i still try and hold on another day for her because shes all i have and i dont wanna even think of being without her. i spend all day long with her none of them do so.. and she likes when i play with her and give her attention everyday

[celabi]

just scummy scara having to be in the bathroom with you constantly. like homie will sit on the counter while you do your business. (not in a gross sexual way, like hes not gonna stare). and sitting on the toilet seat when you wont let him shower with you. bc you actually need to shower. you let him control the music so he feels needed.

just scummy scara with separation anxiety. the doors in ur house stay open so if you get up to get a snack and he’s really exhausted and doesn’t wanna get up he can atleast hear you.

and before you guys move in together if he absolutely has to stay at his own place w/o you he’s not too worried about it the cameras he’s set up allow him to see the entirety of every room in your house even the closets.

have fun trying to surprise him.

he worked hard to make sure the cameras aren’t noticeable. hell even if you look for them you won’t find it even if you are in the right area. its one of those things that you won’t find it unless you know exactly where it is and get it. (does that make sense? i hope it does.)

also in public you have to use family restrooms bc he doesn’t want the creeps to be able to peer into your stall. you won’t let him in the restroom so he stands outside like a guard dog.

“So how was your day, baby?” He’s not sure why he even asked that, considering he was right beside you the whole time, and saw everything you had done today. Making idle conversation was not always his strong suit, but for you, he’d do anything to hear you talk.

“…babe, please get out, I’m peeing.” You like, use one of the hand towels to cover your lap, but he still doesn’t move from his spot against the sink, one leg crossed over the other, and even though he takes it upon himself to not look, it’s still kinda embarrassing. He randomly fiddles with the items around him. Your hairbrush, wow how interesting. Just to try and make you feel less awkward.

“Yeah I know… but I miss you…” “… but I’ve been with you all day?” He nods, a small pout on his lips. “So?”

OANQOKWNW pls idk bout you guys, but as a child I would always follow my mother around while she was doing stuff. Going to hang out the laundry? Oh cool I wanna watch. And my hand would always be holding her shirt SOOOO I can just imagine scara doing the same thing 😭 like like his little grubby hands are gripping onto your shirt while you walk around the house and tidy up, and he’s like, just there to support you PLSS

PSLLSMSN just showering without him because even though he says he won’t turn things sexual this time, he always ends up doing it, so you put him in time out so you can probably clean yourself without distraction. And he’s pouting at you through the glass door :((