#especially when I still thought I was straight

[mugglebornmarvelite]

A Valentine’s Day to Remember

Paring: Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Avenger! Fem! Reader

Summary: On Valentine’s Day, your training session with Bucky is no different. He’s tough on you, but you appreciate his guidance. However, a little interruption leads to a sweet surprise later that evening. Based on this request!

Word Count: Roughly 1.6k

Warnings: Fluff, teasing, slight angst (so slight that it’s barely there), awkwardness, unspoken feelings, the reader's anxious thoughts, protective Bucky, training (it wasn’t that great, but I wanted to write it for some cute tension), comical violence, playful chaos (it’s the Avengers after all)

Author’s Note: Thank you for the request. I tweaked it a little bit in the hopes of making it sweet and funny. @jackys-stuff-blog

I���m back, so enjoy more Valentine’s Day content :)

Navigation

Divider by: @strangergraphics 

The hum of the facility was peaceful, but the energy bouncing around inside you was anything but.

When you got out of bed, you glanced at the calendar. 

February 14th

You sighed and got ready to start your day.

You were still new to the team, only a few weeks into training with the Avengers. 

It was a potent mixture of excitement, fear, and joy wrapped in one.

You gave it your best shot, but every day, you felt like you fell just short of the bar set by the seasoned heroes around you. 

The Avengers were the best of the best, and sometimes it felt like they were trying to break you, push you past your limits, and then push some more. 

Bucky Barnes, in particular, was harder on you than anyone else. 

He didn’t want to admit it, but he cared. Not just because you were younger but because you were different. 

Sweet, shy, a little sunshine in a place that sometimes felt too dark.

You didn’t mind so much. You didn’t want to be perfect, but you wanted to prove to the team, especially Bucky, that you could hold your own. 

But training with Bucky means it’s going to be a long morning.

“Come on, kid,” Bucky said, his eyes locked on yours after you finished his warmups, which felt more like the entirety of a workout routine. “You can do better than that.”

“I am trying,” you said with a huff. 

You felt the weight of his gaze and had to resist the urge to fidget under it. His words made you feel small. You wanted to prove yourself to him. You wanted him to believe you could hold your own.

His lips twitched in a small, teasing smile. “You’ve gotta do better than that if you want to make it out there with the rest of us.”

You nodded and shifted your stance.

When his hand shot out to grab you, you reacted, trying to block, but he was faster. Bucky spun you around, twisting your arm behind your back. 

You grunted as you found your back pressed against his chest, his body flush against yours, his grip tightening around your wrist.

“Gotcha,” he murmured, his breath warm against your neck. 

“I… I wasn’t ready,” you stammered, embarrassed as you struggled to break free, but Bucky only chuckled.

“You never are,” he teased, his voice laced with amusement, “But you will be soon. Don’t worry, sunshine. I’ve got you.”

The warmth of his words seemed to melt the tension in your chest, but your heart still hammered in your ears, the proximity between you two making it hard to think straight. 

With a swift, practiced move, Bucky released you from his grip and pushed you lightly away. You stumbled back a few steps, regaining your footing. 

He was already readying himself for the next move, his steely blue eyes sharp again.

“Again,” he commanded, his voice firm but not unkind.

You nodded, trying to shake off the lingering heat from his touch, but it was impossible to ignore. You lunged at him, trying to catch him off guard.

He moved effortlessly, dodging your lunge. His flipped you flat on your back, and before you could react, Bucky was there, pinning you to the mat, his metal arm hovering over your chest.

He leaned down slightly, his face hovering just above yours. “You really need to work on your form,” he muttered.

You swallowed hard, heat flooding your cheeks. You could feel every inch of him above you.

“Not bad for someone like you,” Bucky said, his voice low, a hint of pride in his words. “But next time, try not to get flipped so easily.”

You chuckled nervously, still breathless beneath him. “Yeah… I’ll try,” you whispered, your voice softer than you intended.

There was a strange kind of intimacy in the air, as the world had quieted around you. Your eyes locked for a heartbeat longer than necessary.

But before either of you could say anything, a voice from the doorway broke the moment.

“Am I interrupting something?” Wanda asked as she strolled into the room, watching the two of you with a knowing smile.

You scrambled to sit up, feeling the awkward tension in the air as Bucky stood and offered you a hand, which you gratefully accepted.

“We were just about to finish this sparring session,” Bucky muttered.

“Oh, a sparring session, huh?” Wanda smile. “I didn’t realize they was that intense.” She turned her gaze to you, the corners of her lips curling into a grin. “So, any plans after this? Maybe a last-minute date? There are a lot of nice places around here, you know.”

You shook your head, slightly flustered. “I’m just going to stay in tonight,” you said softly. “Maybe watch a movie.”

“Stay in?” Wanda’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “It’s Valentine’s day. How about a date with a guy your age, maybe?” She flashed Bucky a pointed, subtle look, just enough to make the air shift. “I could set up something.”

You didn’t catch it, but Bucky’s expression darkened almost instantly. He stepped forward, his jaw tightening, and shot Wanda a sharp look. “No, she said she’s not interested in a date. And you need to stop trying to push that on her.”

Wanda raised both hands, feigning innocence. “Alright, alright. Just trying to make sure the poor girl doesn’t miss out on anything.”

She turned and walked out of the room, but not before sending Bucky a lingering glance that left him looking slightly annoyed.

You, on the other hand, were oblivious to the exchange. You simply smiled at Bucky, trying to shake off the odd tension in the room.

“I’m sorry…” You trailed off, unsure of how to finish the thought.

Bucky sighed, his gaze softening as he looked down at you. “It’s not your fault.”

“I-,” you started softly, though you were unsure what had just happened. But before you could dwell on it, Bucky clapped you on the shoulder.

“You’re fine, sunshine.” Bucky smiled. “Let’s get back to it.”

The warmth of his words lingered in the air long after Wanda left, and you found yourself wishing that the conversation had gone a little differently. But it was hard to focus on that when Bucky’s quiet reassurance made you feel special in a way you hadn’t expected.

Later that evening, fresh out of a long, soothing shower and wrapped in pajamas, you were met with quiet as you made your way downstairs. 

For the most part, everyone was out celebrating the holiday of love. But your plans included stuffing your face and watching comedies on the giant flat-screen TV.

Your plans stopped when you found Peter sprawled out on the couch, grinning from ear to ear. He was holding up a large box.

"Hey! Got a delivery for you!" Peter announced, his voice practically singing.

You raised an eyebrow. “What’s this?”

He gave you a mischievous smirk. “Dunno, but it’s got your name on it.”

Taking the box from his hands, you carefully opened it. 

Inside was a beautiful bouquet of wild daisies, lavender, and sunflowers, as well as a massive box of chocolates, wrapped with a level of neatness that had to be intentional.

There was a card that said, “Hope this makes your day a little sweeter, sunshine.” No name, but you had a very good idea of who it was from.

Before you could even process it, a voice came from behind you.

“You look surprised.” Bucky’s voice cut through the silence. 

Turning around, you found him standing in the doorway.

“I didn’t…” you started, but your words trailed off. 

The fact that he had gone to all this trouble for you meant something, didn’t it?

Bucky closed the space between you with a few long strides, and before you could think of anything else, he wrapped you in a hug, pulling you close to his chest. “You deserve it,” he murmured, kissing your forehead softly. His voice was warm, like melted chocolate, making your heart swell.

Bucky gently pulled back, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“Let’s watch a movie, yeah?” Bucky asked, his voice smooth, like he knew he was about to make everything even better.

You nodded, still reeling from the sweet surprise. The day had been a chaotic mess of training and tension, but Bucky's thoughtful gesture made it feel like it was all worth it.

As you settled onto the couch, Bucky’s arm wrapped around your shoulder, and you melted against his side.

The movie began, but honestly, you weren’t even paying attention. All you could focus on was how perfect this was until Peter suddenly released an exaggerated “Ahem!” trying to get a peek at what was happening between you two.

Before you could even laugh, Bucky, without missing a beat, grabbed a vase off the table and threw it straight at Peter’s head. 

Not to inflict too much bodily injury, but definitely enough to scatter him like a cockroach when the lights come on.

Peter’s spidey sense kicked in just in time, and he shot a web to the ceiling, narrowly avoiding the vase. “Okay, okay! I get it! I’m clearly not wanted! I’m going!” He scrambled upstairs.

You let out a soft laugh, and Bucky grumbled under his breath, but there was a slight curve to his lips as he glanced at you. His arm pulled you even closer, and just like that, everything was perfect again. 

Except for the vase, but that was just a minor detail.

“WHO BROKE MY FAVORITE VASE?”

Or, not so minor.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

Tags: @princess-lil-spidey @sapphirebarnes @mgchaser @sparklystarsandstrawberries @arcadia-smith @rnurse-kole @juliebluehufflepuff @sailorsenshiuranep @alexxavicry @ficcharsimp @winchestert101 @thatesqcrush @bamitzzsam @grubler @peaches1958 @helen-2003 @ickearmn @Kimmie113080 @Xgbtmdmx @buckysbunnie @Shower-me-with-roses @pigeonmama @civilbucky @piinksdoll

If you'd like to be added to my taglist or just ask me, and I'll update it!

Much love x

- Maeve

[xaer1s]

ㅤㅤ ❛ ㅤ✿ ──────​ cuteness clad in silk ⸝⸝

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ 최산 ] ─── ​CHOI SAN​ ⨾ ATEEZ

ㅤㅤ synopsis:ㅤsan was always a calm and collected guy, not riling himself up easily but this simple change you made tonight, unexpectedly -especially for him- had him feeling a bit too excited.ㅤ⨾ㅤwarnings:ㅤnsfw!!, spooning sex, unprotected sex (guys don't do it), needy-dom!san, fem!reader, sub!reader, clit play, p in v, cream pie, lil begging?, pwp??, pet names, slight overstim, lil swearing, praisingㅤ;ㅤword count:ㅤ1,8kㅤ;ㅤa/n.: after my other account with the name of xa3r1s got shadow-banned and i didn't really get help from the staff, i decided to make another blog. i probably won't reupload all of my works. happy reading

ㅤㅤ › ARCHiVE ; NAViGATiON ・・・・・; ✉︎ message me on: @smnxi ; please reblog and follow if you like my posts! do not spam likes, or you'll be blocked, sorry! ♡

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ• . ˚ ⋆ . ｡.

. . . having to lay your head on the pillow at the most boiling hot night in mid august was just straight up torture, so you decided to change sleepwear. placing the soft cotton shorts and thin, plain tops aside, for an even thinner, pure white nightgown. it actually looked very cute if we’re gonna be honest and very practical too. you never once thought about wearing one but when you finally gave it a try and it wasn’t that bad at all.

the silky fabric clung to your skin because of the after shower steam in all the right places, pronouncing your hips as the material stretched deliciously. showing the faint outline of your nipples and the straps occasionally slipping down on your bare shoulders, made your boyfriend attention perk up. it had san already in a frenzy.

experiencing you like this first in his whole lifetime was a game changer for him, he just got so used to seeing you in your usual night wear that he didn’t really pay attention to it anymore. not to misunderstand, you were absolutely cute like that too.

now turning off the lights, making your way from the bathroom to sit on the edge of the bed, your bare feet quietly thumping on the cold wooden floor, the harsh feeling sent goosebumps over your skin. the bedroom was quiet and dark aside from the lamp’s small, orange tinted light providing the only source of light, placed on the bedside table. still, you felt his sharp eyes tracking over you. the window wide open, the gentle summer breeze tickling your skin and the sky foggy.

he was already under the warm, fluffy duvet, his dark eyes drinking in the sight in front of him just within his reach, and at this point he was just struggling to keep himself composed and his actions in check. he itched to reach out to tug the inviting material off of you, he had so easy access it made him go nuts.

of course you noticed, his gaze quite literally burning holes into your back as you made yourself comfortable under the blankets, pulling it over you as you curled against his side, as he continued to stare shamelessly. a content sigh escaping you and a gentle smile made itself clear on your lips.

“hug me..” just like you asked, one of his arm draped over your shoulder to pull you flush against him, his palm splayed out flat on your waist as his fingertips caressed you gently over the shiny fabric.

he already saw you in every way he possibly could by now after spending years with you and knew every inch and crevice of your soft body like the back of his hand. still, the innocence you carried in wearing a simple white nightgown with nothing but panties underneath just send tingles of excitement through his body, straight to his cock and made his heart thump faster. you seemed so pure and adorable in his embrace, soft locks falling forward and framing your cheeks, eyes ready to flutter close to drift off to sleep, knowing nothing about his inner turmoil.

the cute little flares adorning the hem where it rode up your thighs, made his tummy hot. after some time, now deep in slumber, you turned to your other side, presenting your back to him. he managed to force himself to sleep too but as soon as you moved, it shook him awake. his tired gaze traveling to your frame and gulping down a big lump in his throat.

adjusting himself after you, missing the feeling of your body against his, san wrapped his arms around your mid section, his front pushing against your back. he was already struggling real bad at this point, but the quiet whine you let slip out in your sleep and the way you wriggled your butt against his crotch in the search of his warmth just did the work.

his hold now tighter as each second passed, hips bucking into you, just slowly and lazily grinding himself through his sleeping shorts. making sure you were still asleep and snoring softly, his face found its home in the back of your neck, your hair brushing against his face as he made incredible effort to muffle his whiny moans while rutting himself against you.

in a futile attempt to keep quiet, his teeth sank into his plump lower lip almost drawing out blood and god he was ashamed of himself for being so fucking horny just from lying next to you. his embarrassment from the absurdity of the situation slowly seeped into pleasure as a small wet patch made itself visible in his already tight underwear.

you stirring awake, a quiet whine escaped from deep within your throat, blinking your weary eyes open to meet with darkness. it took a few seconds to realize what’s going on behind you, your lips parted with an exhausted sigh.

“san..” but he continued, you didn’t protest, not when he was so adorably needy, you knew he simply just wouldn’t let you until he’s satisfied.

“darling.. i’m sorry- you’re just-..” he tries to explain, his voice coming in quick and unsteady pants, his palm flat on your hips now and fingertips flicking over the hem of your clothing. “can I, please?.. the tip.. only the tip, i swear, baby..” even while asking for permission, he didn’t seem to stop grinding so instead you just appreciated the effort of him pleading so desperate for you. reluctantly, you mumbled a small and very exhausted ‘yeah’ and gave the green light.

you were tired but you still weren’t so cruel to leave your handsome boyfriend wanting so of course you gave in even if it meant sacrificing a little sleep. feeling his hands inch higher on your sides, pushing the material with them, giving himself more place to reach. one of his hand rested on your ass and the other moved to pull the waistband of his shorts just under his member, letting it lewdly slap against his firm abdomen, eliciting a quiet hiss from san.

taking himself into his grip, his fingers tightened around the flushed red tip and his thumb smeared the sticky pre-cum across his already pulsing erection with a low groan before giving it a few squelching pumps quickly for an easier slide. his breathing heavy and actions unsteady, he managed to hook his fingers into the elastic band of your panties, tugging it down your thighs just enough for him to finally reach your most sensitive places. this was all it took for him to get to you, hiking up your nightgown and simply just pulling off your underwear. the thought alone made him twitch in his firm grasp, making his hold tighten around it.

his fingers grazed your dripping slit, feeling the evidence of your excitement on the pads of his fingers, so slimy and warm, it made his mouth water, his tasting buds aching to just lick it off. pushing those fantasies aside, he felt like he’d explode if he’s not in you in the next two minutes. he moved flush against your back, his other hand guiding his throbbing erection to nudge your entrance, sinking slowly in with a stretched out moan, breathing it against the back of your neck.

he bottomed out, just savoring the exquisite feeling of your warmth surrounding him, you clenching down tightly in response, feeling the small ridges and veins running along his cock against your wet walls, it made your needy hole gush too. his digits dug into your plush hips, his nails forming small, red half circles as he squeezed your flesh to guide you slowly. his other hand sneaked its way around your torso aiming to have you as close as humanly possible while he was taking you from behind.

“so warm and snug.. you feel so good, baby.. bet you love feeling me inside you so fucking deep..” he seethed through gritted teeth, pulling out to quickly slam himself back, his tip kissing your cervix, your body jerking forward with a sudden gasp from the force, his arm keeping you safe and still, pressing you back against his broad chest.

your juices dripped down along his shaft, coating it thickly, sweet droplets landing on the sheets beneath you, your hole fluttering crazy, sucking him in subconsciously. his cock dragged along your gummy walls lazily, his eyes closed down as delicate whines left your plump lips.

one of his hand slipped between your thighs, nudging them further apart, the pads of his index and middle finger drawing circles furiously on your puffy, throbbing clit as he continued to thrust away, pace only picking up slightly. the pleasure had your muscles tense and your back arch, instinctively squirming from him while he shushed you, trying to keep you there with force and helping to guide your movements.

“‘m close!-.. s-san!..”

“yeah.. go ahead, my sweet girl..” to his reassurance wrapped words, the knot in your tummy tightened further, heat spreading all over your body from the tips of your toes to the top of your head, your skin tingling. “you deserve it, let go.. let me feel you come over my cock. can you do that for me?..”

with a sharp pinch and a quick tug on your swelled nub, a loud moan rippled from your heaving chest as your release hit you like a tidal wave, clamping on his shaft as he continued to piston into you from behind. fucking you through your orgasm turning into chasing his own high when he moved even faster. it was almost as if he didn’t hear your protest. you reached behind, pushing on his chest with your palm and legs closing on his hand still between yours. he resisted well, by just easily keeping you in place.

“it’s okay- i know, love, i know.. a little-.. just a little more, yeah? gonna be good for me and make me cum too, hm?” his sweet and comforting tone made you relax, stopping all your earlier resistance. his abdominal muscles flexed and with a stinging bite in the nape of your neck, he shot his hot ropes of thick seed deep into your waiting womb, your fucked out body shuddering at the sensations.

after a few, sloppy thrust, he finally stilled inside you completely with his spent cock. catching his breath while he peppered soft kisses to the reddened marking he left just now.

his hands sliding to your sides now, soothing your heated up and flushed skin as your eyes fluttered down close, ears already starting to block out his quiet words targeted towards you.

“‘love you.. so grateful for you, baby..” a small, genuine smile threatened to stretch on his lips as he just followed you to sleep soundly, pulling the duvet over you to tuck you in again, keeping you in his strong yet so caring and gentle grip, making the clean up tomorrow’s problem.

plagiarism is strictly forbidden, do not translate my works, copy them or publish them on another site ; @xaer1s

[thebluester2020]

[TWST] "Umbrella"

Summary: You hadn’t had the chance to see Malleus for a while due to your busy schedule as of late. But after Malleus suggests that you two briefly hang out in between your classes, despite it practically raining cats and dogs, you won’t let bad weather stop you from your plans to see him!

Warning(s): Porn with plot ngl, Public sex(In a way? Reader and Malleus do it in the Botanical Gardens but no one's there), Munch Malleus.

Side Note(s): This is what listening to Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on repeat does to a mf. Also, there may some *slight* OOC Malleus in here. I’m still not on the Diasomnia book yet *sigh*

You haven’t had the chance to see Malleus lately. It seemed like everything in the universe wanted to keep you away from him suddenly!

If it wasn’t your classes, it was your homework and when Malleus offered to help you with your homework, you were all of a sudden whisked away to do busy work for Crowley. If those two options didn’t come in your path then you were tired from rushing around campus all day, sitting through lecture after lecture and the toll of being in an unfamiliar world taking it’s toll on you! Sure, the amount was dwindling by the day as you began to forget what your old life used to be like but, you still thought about home here and there.

But in the face of Malleus? Not to mention, the idea of leaving him-

The idea of returning became less and less appealing.

“Class dismissed, pups!” Crewel shouted as soon as the bell had rung, loudly signaling that class was over for the day. You wiped the sweat from your brow, fanning your face too for good measure as the experiment you had to perform with Grim dealt with a ton of fire magic. You were certain that you were going to smell like smoke and flames for weeks on end after this! And yet, once you had packed your things and turned down the long hallway out of the classroom…your day was immediately brightened, all by spotting a familiar set of horns up ahead.

You called out “Malleus!” With a bright grin, as if all the tiredness had left your body in a single instance.

The pair of horns stopped moving, moving left and right before stilling to look straight ahead as you pushed and wormed your way through the crowd before you were standing in front of your boyfriend. He looked as princely and perfect as ever it seemed, even though it was the middle of the day, it seemed that nothing could get even a single hair to get out of place!

“Y/N.” Malleus said your name with such softness that it made your heart swoon and make your mind suddenly feel as if it had been dropped onto a bed of clouds. “How have you been? It’s been-“

“A while,” You finished for him as your face began to flush red. “I…I’m not avoiding you! I-I hope you don’t see it that way.”

The Briar prince then placed a hand on your head, a silent way of comforting you before he slowly shook your head. “I am grateful that you merely wish to be in my presence, nothing could make me think you’re avoiding me.” He said. “And besides, even if such a thing were the case. I would talk to you first.” Malleus then looked around him to see that the crowds of passing periods had mostly died down to nothing but a few late stragglers here and there, as much as he wanted to continue talking to you…stop time right this instance if it meant that he would remain in your presence for but a second longer…he knew that you were busy. Especially seeing as your magic wasn’t your own and you relied on another for it.

"Are you free to spend time together this afternoon? I want to see you." His words practically flew out of his mouth before he could fully think about what he was asking of you. Suddenly, he worried that you would decline, that you would be busy around lunchtime or that you had already made plans around that time! He tried telling himself that the rejection was fine, that you had your own hobbies and friends to tend to but—

"O-Of course!" You responded excitedly, sweeping away his thoughts in a heartbeat as you practically glowed with excitement. Not a single answer that was along the lines of 'no' ever dared to cross your mind as you nearly jumped up and down like an excited toddler. "Where do you want to meet?"

"Near Ramshackle," He said with a soft smile. "There's no pressure, of course, I just...really want to see you, we've barely had any time to ourselves these days. Especially without interruption." You couldn't have agreed more as ideas of what the both of you would do during your afternoon date floated around in your head, all before you placed a kiss on Malleus' cheek. "It's a date then." You nearly burst into flames when Malleus responded via kissing you on the lips, a chaste and fleeting gesture but filled with enough passion and love to power a dozen suns.

"I look forward to our date then."

. . .

When you heard the thunder, you thought the world itself was trying to play some cruel trick on you. When it was close to your last class ending, you desperately tricked and told yourself that it was just your imagination! After all, no one else in the class even thought to react to the sound of an oncoming rainstorm much less your teacher! But...the second the bell had rung and you had stepped out of the building...the sight of rain practically pouring down from the heavens as if someone up there had tipped over a bucket, disappointment and annoyance filled your entire body in a rush. You were looking forward to your date, you didn't want a single thing to take away the possibility of you being able to hang out with your boyfriend after so long.

So, with a strike of determination all of a sudden, you pulled your backpack over your head and began to run as fast as you could through the rain. Yet, with the rain coming down so hard, the ground started to become slippery, your vision becoming blurrier and blurrier by the second it seemed while your backpack was starting to become drenched, all before...you found yourself standing in the middle of the rain, the mist fogging up the distance ahead of you without leaving a single clue as to where you were supposed to turn next.

"Shit..." You cursed to yourself quietly. You almost had a mind to tear up, all you wanted was a peaceful impromptu date! And yet—you gasped when you felt a warm force gently tug you somewhere out of the pouring rain. Before you knew it, your feet were no longer standing on a cobblestone path but soft grass, and eventually...shelter. The smell of flowers and all types of magical herbs entered your nostrils, combined with the misty scent due to the rain, it made for a pleasant yet crisp scent. Eventually, however, you took your backpack from above your head to drop it next to your feet. "Malleus?" You looked over to see him peacefully sitting on one of the benches, smiling as if he hadn't done a single thing.

He gently chuckled as he rose from his seat to walk over to you. "You're drenched, my love." You sighed, embarrassed. "The rain came out of nowhere..." You mumbled.

He nodded his head, doing his best to dry you off with his magic until his eyes widened at your shirt practically being see-through. He cleared his throat and looked away, the sight of his embarrassed expression confusing you for only a brief moment until you blushed yourself and quickly covered yourself as best you could. "S-Sorry..." You mumbled. "Maybe it would have been better to have postponed this—"

"No." He interrupted you. "...I wouldn't want to go any longer without seeing you, but...I didn't mean for you to risk getting sick, having your clothes ruined because of me."

You immediately took his face into your hands, huffing in annoyance. "Don't say that! I'd run through a million rainstorms if it meant that I'd get to see you in the end!" The both of you stared at each other for a long while, basking in each other's presence whilst Malleus basked in the sight of love swimming around in your eyes. He could hardly contain himself from kissing you silly as his hands came to rest on your hips, yet, as his eyes steadily traveled from your gaze and eventually rested on your slightly exposed breasts...a slow exhale left his lips as a familiar warmth started to travel through his being.

Yet, he tried to remain respectful of the fact that you may have been cold. "Forgive me," He looked away from your chest. "We need to get you a change of clothes, you...must be cold, right?" When you felt his grip around your waist tighten, your hands traveled from his face to rest on his shoulders as a smirk steadily crept onto your lips.

"Why don't you warm me up? We're alone." Your sex throbbed at the sight of Malleus' eyes beginning to darken with lust when you tugged him closer to you, feeling the tent in his pants against your stomach. "Are you sure?" He asked, searching for any signs of hesitancy in your eyes before you nodded your head eagerly.

"Please."

He could hardly wait for another second as his lips suddenly smashed against your own, weeks of unbridled passion and longing contained in each breathless moan that left his lips, his hands grabbing at every part of your skin as he struggled not to simply tear through your clothing in order to get to your skin even sooner. "My love..." He moaned. His hands flew to the buttons on your shirt, unbuttoning them with skill and precision before he was graced by the sight of your skin. Like a dog suddenly introduced to a slab of meat, his mouth watered at the sight, almost struggling to figure out which part of your skin he wanted to kiss first until he finally decided on the valley between your breasts.

"M-Malleus—!" You grabbed at his hair when his head suddenly dived down to begin peppering kisses along your breasts, his sharp nails leaving goosebumps in their wake as they teasingly trailed up the sides of your body and eventually to the clasp of your bra. "So pretty, my love." He praised, accentuating each word with a kiss to your chest until he latched onto one of your nipples. The feeling of his long tongue rolling around your nipple made your cunt clench around nothing, slick beginning to pool in the center of your panties before beginning to leak down your thighs. "Malleus..." You continued to whine his name like a prayer as he continued to suck and lightly bite at your nipple, sinfully lewd groans mixed with soft moans and gasps leaving your boyfriend's lips as he looked up at you as if you held the entire world in your grasp.

You wanted nothing more than to sit on his cock, ride him all in an effort to hear more of his delicious noise but...he was nothing if not attentive to your needs first and foremost before his own.

"Please..." You whispered as you found enough strength to weakly move one of your hands from Malleus' hair and to his hair. He groaned at the contact as you gently tugged him from your chest. "D-Down there..." He smirked at your shyness to tell him exactly what you wanted him to do to your cunt. Another time, he'd tease you and urge you to tell him exactly what you wanted to ensure your utmost pleasure, yet...as he began to see the rain begin to steadily let up. He knew he'd have to hurry things along.

"So needy~" He purred. Slowly, Malleus lowered himself to a crouch, the feeling of his warm breath on your clothed pussy as he gently lifted one of your legs to rest on his shoulder making you lick your lips in anticipation. His hands slipped down your sides, eventually coming to rest themselves on your thighs before his fingers found their way underneath your skirt. You were practically dripping, the arousing sight making the prince almost wish that the rain would last forever if it meant that he'd have a chance to sink himself into your heat. Yet, he was willing to take whatever he could get— "You don't have to stare..." Your embarrassed murmur tore him from his perverted thoughts, causing him to chuckle in response.

"There's no need to be embarrassed, my dear—" His finger slowly moved your soaked underwear to the side, strings of your glistening slick still connecting you to your panties while more oozed out from your twitching sex. "—we've done this countless times before, haven't we?" Before you could answer, you felt Malleus' thumb begin to gently rub circles onto your clit before he started to teasingly kiss and lick at your sex, stealing your breath right from your lungs as you struggled to keep yourself standing upright. His grip on your thighs tightened as his soft lips wrapped around your bud, his tongue beginning to flick it and rub it in circles.

Never once did his eyes leave your own as Malleus ate you out, one of your hands continuing to massage your boob while another slowly traveled to softly pet at Malleus' head before coming to grip at one of his horns. He grunted into your cunt, the vibration making you buck into his mouth before...the sight of his hand beginning to travel to free his cock from his pants nearly made you cum right then and there. Malleus felt like a pervert, fisting his cock while he ate you out like a man starved but he couldn't help it! You tasted soooo good and your attempts to keep yourself quiet but ultimately failing only made more pre-cum drip down from his cock and onto the grass below.

"You're dripping, my love, does my mouth feel that good?" You nodded your head, the telltale sign of your orgasm beginning to approach shown in the way that your eyes began to fog over and your thighs began to twitch. He then pushed one his slender fingers into your sex before curling up, finding your g-spot with ease and making you buck even more. Malleus smirk, wrapping his lips around your bud once more to work in tandem with his fingers. "Fuck..." You moaned. "Malleus—"

"I know, my love, I know." He whispered against your cunt, his voice soft and full of lust as he increased the movements of his fingers as he sucked your clit even harder. You were only able to moan and whine as your body shook with pleasure, lewd squelching and groaning coming from between your thighs as Malleus both worked to bring you to your high as well as continue to pleasure himself, slick noises emitting from his fist as he fucked his hand even faster. "M-Malleus...I'm gonna—c-cumming—" Malleus nodded between your legs, quickening his pace as he pressed his face even deeper into your cunt. Your grip on his horn tightened, making him moan as you came with a silent scream.

Your back arched as Malleus continued to eat you out, the slight pains of overstimulation making you whine as he continued to fist his cock, his moans vibrating against your clit before he suddenly stilled, releasing your clit with a lewd 'pop' as he hissed and whined out your name. The both of you stood there for a while longer, letting yourselves fall back down to earth from your orgasms until...the feeling of Malleus pressing a kiss to your thigh and slowly taking your leg from his thigh snapped you from your hazy brain.

Then, the prince chuckled as he adjusted himself back into his pants, standing back up and quickly wrapping an arm around your back to steady you. "Look, the rain stopped."

[ilium-ilia]

a fox cries; never howls

simon "ghost" riley x fem!reader | in limbo au | masterlist

Part (1/3): marco's girl

a/n: this is an alternate universe to my story, In Limbo. you do not need to read In Limbo to understand this au, but if you are reading In Limbo, i recommend not reading this story until you've read chapter 14 due to some spoilers. please take care to read the warnings on each chapter, this is a very heavy fic.

tw: rape/non-con, pedophilia, human/sex trafficking, forced prostitution, abduction, suicide, self harm, whump, hurt/comfort, reader has long hair for plot reasons (can be natural, braided, etc)

Each time it happens, you tell yourself it’ll be different, but it never is. 

Broken promises lay in glistening shards around the heels strapped to your feet as you grit your teeth through the pain. No matter how much you beg and plead, it’s always the same. That visceral ache shooting through the core of your being still brings tears to your eyes the same it did the first time. It will continue to plague you. Haunting your cheeks in messy streaks as it drips onto the counter your hands so desperately palm at. Each tear that splatters by your fingers shimmer with black flakes. Running mascara. It stains everything it touches—especially you.

You’re prettier that way. Ruined. At least, that’s what you’ve been told. 

Always pretty on your knees; bent over; looking up; crying; pleading; beg; beg for it; and keep crying; yeah, just like that. 

Your skin is scarred, marked in the shape of greedy lips, and it stings like the wound is fresh. Words seep into the soft tissue where it continues to fester. Burrows its spindly roots until it can bear fruit. You can pull at the stem all you like, but you can’t escape the fact that it’s now a fundamental part of you. It’s the only thing keeping your bones from crumbling. This mantra. This throe. 

“Not tryna hide, are you?” 

Avaricious fingers dig into the firm cartilage of your throat as you’re yanked back and forced to look at yourself in the mirror. The ripples of your defilement echo throughout your body—and you’re forced to watch it. The bounce of your breasts and the smudged makeup dripping along your cheeks. In some odd way, you are a masterpiece. You’re sculpted of nothing but obloquy yet carved just like if you were made of stone. You would close your eyes if you thought you could get away with it.

But Marco likes when you watch. Savors the tremble of your lips as your eyes find him in the mirror. Pristine teeth glint in the pallid light. Perfectly white and straight. He always takes care of himself—of his appearance. It shows in the carefully carved muscles that flex in his abdomen as he pistons into you; in the well groomed locks of his dark hair. This is the sweetest liquor he could ever indulge in—enjoying not only destroying you, but of making a show of it. 

He must always be the performer and the audience; having his cake and eating it too. 

A fury of grunted whispers slice straight through your ear drums. It’s a hardly comprehensible slurring of English and Russian, and though your fuzzy brain can’t make sense of it, you know what it means. Marco teeters close to the edge, hands dragging your body back against him as he holds himself flush against the crux of your ass. Hot warmth spills into you, and despite the hand around your throat, you’re finally able to breathe. This impiety does not offer you comfort in your tainted skin, but it offers you the one commodity you rarely seem to come by: rest. 

That incessant ache lurks deep in the pit of your stomach, even as Marco pulls out, but it’s quiet. Doesn’t demand your attention. You feel the dull throb that harasses the raw tissue of your cunt, and you try not to wince as you feel his seed spill out. Chuckling, he releases your throat in favor of wrapping his fingers around your hair, bunching as much as he can into the palm of his hand. It’s overgrown. Messy and dead. But he refuses to allow you to cut it. 

Nothing about you gets to change without his permission—not even your appearance. 

“Look at you, my sweet little girl,” he coos. Sharp teeth nip at the side of your jaw and you wince. You’re surprised his mouth doesn’t unhinge; that he doesn’t shove you into his maw and swallow you whole. “So goddamn perfect. Can’t get enough of this pussy. Christ.” 

When Marco backs away, you swear your knees will give out. Without his puppeteering hands to hold you up and bend you to his desires, you’re nothing but mush. A disgusting mess of smeared eyeliner and dripping cum. You can hardly stomach the sight of your body in the mirror. Neck littered with faint teeth marks, body bare and on display—used and abused to his content. You’re abhorrent. A pathetic creature you can’t stand to behold. 

Marco’s belt clinks just as a knock rattles the door. Your heart thuds loud enough in your ears that it nearly drowns out the sound of his heavy footsteps crossing the glorified dressing room. You attempt to steady yourself as you back away from the mirror, but the straps of your heels dig into your toes. They’re the only article of clothing you’re allowed. Marco says he likes the way they make your legs look longer. Likes the angle it gives him when he bends you over to fuck you.

When you turn to face him, he’s already sitting on the loveseat shoved into the corner of the room. A fresh bottle of mead sits on the tray next to him, and he pours himself a generous amount before knocking it back for a sip. The soft amber liquid overflows and dribbles past his lips, soaking his bare chest. His verdant eyes find you as he collets the drink on the tips of his fingers, then sucks them clean one by one. 

“Didn’t you hear that knock? You have a guest,” he says, tilting his jaw toward the door. 

With each step you take, you feel Marco’s seed dribble down your legs. It makes a sticky mess between your thighs, and you know he wouldn’t have it any other way. This is how he marks you. How he makes sure everyone knows who you belong to before he lets them take a piece of you home. 

A stranger with a thick neck stands at the door when you open it. His eyes are an odd shade of grey that sends a shiver down your spine as he looks you over, greedily drinking in the sight of your bare body. The chill of his gaze gets worse as the door closes behind him. He begins to crowd you and the sharp stench of vodka fills your nose. There’s something familiar about him. Every man in this club is familiar to you, in some way. Always hazy. Too fuzzy to place a name to. You think it’s your brain’s way of protecting itself. Of purging the bad things done to you as best as it can, lest you crumble in the palm of Marco’s hands. 

The sharp point of your heel catches on the plush rug that sprawls out in front of Marco’s feet, and you squeak as you nearly lose your footing. Both Marco and the stranger chuckle. The cacophonous tone grates against your eardrums, but you hide your discomfort as you stare at the ground. You wait. For the exchange. For the banter. They speak in Russian with one another through laughter as cash is passed to Marco. The air is still cold, and your thighs are still soiled, but the stranger looks at you like he would never dream of having any other meal than you. 

“Well, go on then,” Marco prompts. You look up at him with dull eyes. He swirls the mead in his cup as he tilts his head. “On your knees, babe. Wants to use your mouth tonight. Be a good girl, now.” 

Comply. Listen. It’s all you can do. So you sink to your knees like the well behaved girl you always are. Resting on your haunches, you look up at the man with a tight throat. He smiles, and your stomach drops. Roils and screams as he begins to unbuckle his belt. As he fishes himself from his trousers, you remind yourself all things are temporary. Especially pain. 

Nothing lasts forever—though, it often feels like it will. 

When it’s all said and done—when you’re thoroughly used—Marco walks you to the door like a gentleman. Hastily adorned clothes hang from your body as you pull your jumper tight around your core. Your cervix still aches from the virulent abuse it had taken earlier, but you attempt to ignore it as he opens the exit. Your only reprieve from this nightmare is that he didn’t parade you throughout the club like this; looking like a whore for hire, advertising you to anyone else with fingers itching in greed. Tonight, he allows you to take the back exit far away from prying eyes. 

Cool night air cuts through your scanty clothes, and you stare out at the vast space of the car park before you. Weekdays bring little business and customers to Makarov’s club. Most of the strippers who work for him end up lazing around in back rooms and closets, getting drunk or high enough that they can forget all about their shitty night. 

You wish you had that luxury. 

“Hey,” Marco hums, grabbing your wrist. You turn to face him. Dim shadows from the flickering hallway lights cast his face in darkness, but the glint in his eyes is unmistakable. “See you tomorrow, babe.” 

He sends you off with a kiss. Sloppy and wet—he likes messes. Savors making one out of you. Sweet mead and mint seeps into your mouth as you kiss him back with a tight jaw. When his hands caress your cheeks, pulling you closer, you wonder if he can taste the brine and bitter cum that lurks in the back of your throat. If he relishes in feeling every single way in which you’re destroyed. 

“See you tomorrow,” you murmur. 

Breathing only comes easy the moment you’re locked in your car. The movement is fluid—that gentle expanding of your chest—but it’s still agonizing. Diaphragm seizing with the sobs you fight back, it’s another reminder that you’re alive. As long as you draw breath, you don’t belong to yourself. 

Hot tears sear down your cheeks as you turn the key in the ignition. A gentle rumble follows as the engine hums to life. It’s a smooth, quiet purr. A car that’s much more expensive than you deserve. A lovely gift from Marco. It’s not at all uncommon for him to give you things. Expensive things. A car; an apartment; clothes—you’ll pay it back eventually. The numbers just add up to the big debt that’s hung over your head since you were sixteen. It ebbs and flows but not enough to save you. Not enough for you to belong to yourself again. 

As you bring the heels of your hands up to wipe your eyes, a gentle glow catches your attention. It moves. Dances and swirls in the numbra of the car park. Blinking, you focus on it. Golden yellow embers flicker and fade as life is breathed into them. It’s faint, but it reminds you of the well adored fireflies in America. Squinting, you can make out the outline of a car. It sits patiently and silent, but the windows are cracked. Faint smoke swirls through the openings where it climbs into the dull night sky and dissipates. 

Someone sits inside of the car, puffing away in a nicotine haze, but when your eyes lock onto the fingers pinching a cigarette, they freeze. Glowing embers quickly smother and die somewhere inside of the vehicle, and you’re left with nothing. You stare into the darkness, and it stares back. You feel its gaze tingling along your spine. Sniffing, you look away from that void. Be it man, or be it monster, you know nothing ever happens to you without Marco’s permission. 

That sentiment is equally as terrifying as it is comforting. 

When you arrive home—to the apartment paid for with your own body—you shower. No amount of water and soap is enough. You can lather yourself in all of Marco’s favorite scents, but the mint on his tongue still follows you everywhere. It lingers like an old scar that refuses to fade. As you exit the bathroom, you leave feeling just as disgusting as when you entered. Nothing but some sordid creature that hardly knows how to take care of herself. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you feel sick. Golden glitter still stains your eyelids, and the teeth marks on the side of your throat have only grown more noticeable. Still, nothing is worse than the mark on the back of your neck. Though you can’t see it, you feel it. It makes your skin itch and crawl, and you find your fingernails tearing at it. As if you could rip it off like a bandaid. But it stays. Festers and embeds itself deep inside of you. 

Swallowing, you try to forget it as you continue to dry off. This is your brief moment of comfort, where you’re too far out of reach and well out of sight to be gawked at and abused. Your only reprieve before you spend another night rotting as a trophy of glitter and bone. 

Weekends are better, but only marginally so. Wide eyed men fill Makarov’s club to the brim with wads of cash and twitchy fingers. Lingering gazes and hands brush against the crux of your ass and the back of your neck as Marco parades you through the crowd by your wrist. With your strappy golden heels and matching exiguous outfit, you’re flashy merchandise. Something soft and sweet that he flaunts in an attempt to make a quick quid or two as a way to fund his means of pleasure and keeping control of you. While you’d normally spend most nights on your hands and knees, on busy nights, Marco allows you to earn your living in an honorable way—

—dancing. 

Sharp heels tap on soft mahogany as your hips and arms sway, practiced and repetitive, atop a round table. Dull music thrums and shakes the dust off your bones as the men on the crescent sofa surrounding you chat and laugh the night away. Marco’s in the mix of them all, cold glass resting on his knee as his foot taps against the floor. A hazy film covers the spring green of his irises as the liquor settles deep into his marrow. Each time you rotate his way, you watch his pupils dilate. A vast forest covered by the smokey darkness of that void, he licks at the alcohol on his lips as he stares at your clothed cunt. 

His fantasy fills your mind before his own can even make sense of it. Every spare glass and bottle that litters the table around your feet would be thrown on the floor in an instant just to put you on your back. To open your vulnerable stomach. To tear off the little clothing protecting your feeble dignity and truly put you to work. He’d spread your limbs and pin them like a specimen to a board, and he would cut and slice until you have nothing left to hide. Until there is nothing left of you at all. 

“Babe!” 

Marco’s voice cuts through the discordance of the crowd and pulls you out of a nightmare and back into the present. Your terrifying reality. Slowly, you turn to face him, and he looks up at you with a grin on his face and a card stuck between his fingers. That sly haze still obscures his vision as he offers you his hand. Numb to the feeling of his skin against your own, you take it and allow him to help you down from the table. He wastes no time in dipping his fingers into the strap of your lingerie where he secures the card beneath the band. 

“Looks like you’ve got work to do,” he teases. 

Warm hands settle on the curve of your hips as he guides you to turn around, faced away from him. Then, they wander up. Greedy fingers brush along the line of your spine before they find purchase in your hair, grabbing it as if he were trying to help you put it up. You hate how long it’s gotten. That he won’t let you cut it. He doesn’t care if it’s straight, curly, braided—anything. Marco wants it long. Uses it like a leash in which he keeps you bound to him with. 

“I know you’re a good girl, so I’m sure you won’t forget, but a little reminder never hurts,” he coos into your ear. Intoxicated breath fans across the side of your face as he leans closer to breathe you in. A shiver prickles across your skin as he kisses the back of your neck, and your throat involuntarily contracts at the sensation. It’s as if he’s marking you again. Branding you. “If this… patron wants more, I get to watch.”

Swallowing, you nod as best as you can with his fist gripping your hair. “I know.” 

Chuckling, he relinquishes his grip on you before stepping back. “Of course you do, smart thing you are. I’ll be waiting here for you.” 

You wait until you’re well away from Marco and his friends before you fish out the card he stuck beneath the strap along your hip. A pitched ringing plagues your ears as you enter the VIP section of the club. Things are quieter. Less crowded and the speakers don’t blare as loud. But the silence allows something malevolent to burrow inside of you. It festers as incessant tinnitus and broiling nervosity in your stomach. A wordless, desperate prayer breathes past your lips as you approach the room in which your patron awaits you. 

You pray he is kind. You pray that he wants nothing more than to hold you and vent his problems, like others have. 

When you open the door and step into the threshold that always makes your palms sweat, you think for a single fleeting moment that you are lucky. The room is abandoned. Dim lights illuminate the dull leather of the couch in front of you and yet there is no man sitting there for you to serve. Gentle music drones over the wireless speakers, giving the impression that there should be someone here with you. The attendants even set out the ice and whiskey for his drink. It now thaws on the tray, water nearly overspilling in its decay. 

Brows furrowing together, you look down at the card to ensure you haven’t misread it in your haze. The attendant’s handwriting is chicken scratch. He always manages to make a nine look like a zero, but you’re certain this is a six. The door clicks shut behind you as you sigh, too defeated and confused to make sense of this confusion. A pit forms in your stomach at the thought of slinking back to Marco with some saturnine cloud hanging over your head. 

If you can’t find work tonight, he’ll make some for you. 

That pit quickly becomes a gaping hole the moment a fat palmed hand clasps over your mouth. Cardstock flutters out of your fingers like dainty butterfly wings, and hits the ground just as your back collides with an immovable chest. You don’t scream, but your heart nearly stops when you feel the cold press of metal against your throat. You are stuck in a vicious cycle. One of fear and sharp blades you’ll never wield yourself. 

“Not a fuckin’ word.” The voice that growls in your ear rattles your spine as the words erupt in his chest. Faint tobacco stains his fingers. Its earthy aroma seeps into your nose as your hands tremble against his tattooed forearm. “Don’t wanna hurt ya, so make this easy and listen to me, yeah?” 

Marco has taught you plenty well enough that the word no should be expunged from your vocabulary, so you nod. 

“Good.” 

You’re as stiff as a board when this stranger releases you. No amount of curiosity can get you to turn around and face the violent truth, not even as a thick jacket is tossed over your shoulders. The fabric is warm. Freshly removed off of the man behind you and placed on you as if it were a blanket. He presses his hand on your lower back and despite his caution, you still jump. 

“We’re going for a quick drive. Easy now. You’ll be home before sun up. C’mon,” he mutters. 

There is no such thing as saying no. There is no such thing as fighting. 

The knife vanishes from your sight but it’s all you can think about as this stranger leads you through the haze of the club. Everything blurs around you as you’re escorted to the nearest exit through quiet hallways that reek of cheap perfume. The only thing you can focus on is your feet. The glittery heels that match perfectly with your pedicure. You want to trip. To fall forward and hit the ground. Cry out and demand attention. The hand on the small of your back is all too grounding for you to make any mistakes. 

You approach and exit through an emergency fire door and the alarm doesn’t trip. Night air hits your skin like razor blades as you’re escorted across the car park. He shoves you into the back of a black car, and you only squeal a little when he slams the door behind you. When he situates himself in the driver's seat, the car hums to life and quiet lights flicker on just enough to scarcely illuminate his face in the rearview mirror. His eyes are dark. The darkest you’ve ever seen. 

“There’s a blindfold in the seat next to you. Put it on,” he orders. Stuck on autopilot, you do as he says. It’s a thick scrap of cloth, something you hastily tie around your eyes and knot at the back of your head with trembling fingers. It only touches your skin for a fleeting moment before it’s soaked in briney tears. “Don’t even think ‘bout takin’ it off.” 

Not even your morbid curiosity can convince you to peek from between the threads. The word no is not in your vocabulary. Neither is disobeyment. 

Each turn the man takes as he brings you to some unknown destination has you swaying in your seat. Every pule that leaves your lips is smothered behind the palm of your hand as you wipe snot along the ridges of your knuckles. You do well to keep the aftermath of your fear to yourself. Even though this man has abducted you—something that was all too easy for him to do as you fawned, and you’ll surely pay for this when Marco finds you again—you do not want to ruin the coat around your shoulders with spit. 

Of course you think of escape. You always do. It’s a self soothing daydream that florescences in the neurons of your brain. Unlock the door. Open the handle. Jump out. It’ll hurt. It always does. And it’ll hurt when you’re caught, but it always does. 

You don’t move. Freedom is just a dream.

Despite the knife he greeted you with, this man is surprisingly gentle. His touch is soft when he eventually parks the car, and his fingers do not dig too terribly into your skin as he helps free you from the back seat of his car. You do not trust his softness as he leads you into a room that smells like alcohol and cigarettes. Nicotine burns your nose as you’re settled into a plush seat, and for a fleeting moment you think you were only driven around the block before being thrown right back into Marco’s maw. 

That theory is proven terribly wrong when your blindfold is ripped from your eyes. 

A man with impressive tepidity sits across from you at an antique wooden desk. Rich red walls close in on you. Crushing. Looming. Smoke blurs the space between the two of you as he puffs away at a thick cigar, blue eyes scanning a single piece of paper. He’s dressed nicer than you anticipated. A dark button up shirt, neatly combed hair and groomed beard—he hums to himself as his eyes scan the page in front of him before they land on you. You look away as if his gaze has burnt you. Instead, you focus on your nails and the manicure Marco made you get last week. Baby pink gel; his favorite color on you. 

“It’ll take more than crocodile tears to tug on my heartstrings, love,” he hums. 

The climate in your mouth suddenly becomes sere. All the snot and saliva that had built up before seems to vanish at his words. He’s nonchalant; terrifyingly so. 

“I don’t… uhm,” you attempt. 

“No need to explain yourself,” he interjects. “I understand. We all need to make a living.” Pausing, his eyes flicker back to the paper in his hands. “You’re Marco’s girl, aren’t you?” 

Thick obloquy heats the pit of your stomach as your fingers twitch. That term—that title. It fills you with more shame than you can name. You attempt to swallow down the cotton-like dryness in your mouth as your hand paws at the back of your neck. Expertly manicured nails scratch at the skin, and you wish nothing more than to peel back the layers of your epidermis and toss them aside to rot. 

Stiff, you nod. 

“John Price,” he introduces. 

He drops the name like it bears weight. As if it should crush you with each heavy letter that it carries, yet it doesn’t add on to the anxiety raging in your stomach. Your hand falls back into your lap as you dare to look at him once more. His eyes are sharp, as if he’s using his gaze alone to cut back your layers, but there is nothing to show for it. No secret except for a sour ignominy that you’ve carried for so long it imprints in your very skin. 

“Has Marco not told you about me?” he asks. He’s not upset; or if he is, he hides it well behind curious eyes. 

“No,” you answer truthfully. 

John chuckles. “Thought the man would’ve at least told his benefactor about me.” 

You blink. “...Benefactor?” 

“No need to play dumb. Like I said, it takes a lot more than faux tears to get me to feel sorry for you.” 

Your fear and confusion grips you so relentlessly that you don’t even feel it anymore. It’s wound so tightly around you, restricting blood flow to your body, that everything tingles if it is not numb. This man—John Price—gives you no chance to rest or fix your muddled thoughts. He tosses the paper in his hands across the wooden top of the desk, and your eyes nearly cross at the numbers printed on the pristine sheet and the amount of commas between them. There’s math. Addition and subtraction. Transactions of a bank account with a name at the top: 

Marco Anatolijus Kanas

Funny. You’ve never seen his full name before. He’s only ever been Marco.

You’ve only ever been his girl. 

While you stare at the numbers, John throws question after question at you, none of which you know how to answer. He asks about transactions. He asks about what they’re for. Each and every time he’s met with the same answer. You are just as clueless as him. Marco does not concern you with his real work. The work that gets him enough money to have a bank account as padded as the one you’re looking at currently. 

His finances make the sparse contents of your stomach curdle. The amount of money you owe him for your unfortunate existence is trivial compared to what he already has. So miniscule it would hardly budge his savings. Marco has been making you work half your life away for something akin to a mere couple quid to him, and it stings just as bad as it always does. Seeing it at face value just how trapped you are—how Marco owns you and always will. 

“Don’t get coy with me.” John’s getting frustrated. Each question he presents you with is met with the same carking response of I don’t know. It’s nothing but the truth, but he seems to be informed otherwise. You’re significantly less important than he believes you to be, but the man looming behind you doesn’t help in settling your nerves enough to explain your situation properly. “Word on the street is Marco’s girl supplies him with his spending money. You’re tellin’ me I heard wrong? Or are you too daft to ask him what he’s using his finances on?” 

You swallow. What a polite way to put it—the things Marco does to you. 

“He… He makes money off of me but I… I don’t know how much or what he uses it for,” you choke out. “Well, I… I know a little bit but it’s not, it’s not like, whatever you’re asking, it’s just… it’s stupid things, it’s like, my housing or… it’s not… important.” 

There’s a quiet beat that settles between you and John, and you feel whatever vexation he harbored for you previously quickly evaporate in the air. He’s silent for so long that you force yourself to look up at him. You’re expecting curiosity, even the most morbid of iterations. John Price is not curious. You can tell by the way his jaw unclenches and eyes soften that he finally understands what you’ve been too inept to say. 

“How long have you been workin’ for him?” he questions, softer this time. 

“Since… I was sixteen,” you reply. 

“Sixteen?” He’s appalled. Repeats the word like it’s the worst taste he’s ever had on his tongue. “What’s he making you do for work? Dance?” 

Shame sears the back of your neck, leaving nothing but wounded, marked skin in its wake. You palm at the burn. Try to will it away with desperate fingers, and the movement causes the coat resting limply around your body to slip off your shoulder. This is the first time you’ve considered lying to John. Omitting the truth just to save the small shred of dignity you still have left, no matter how imaginary it might be. 

“Yeah. I… dance on stage but he… has me do private sessions too but he… sometimes he-” 

A hand brushes against the side of your arm and you flinch so hard your teeth nearly pierce through your tongue. Weathered wood squeaks beneath your weight as you freeze after nearly jumping out of your skin. This well meaning hand that startled you so terribly is well meaning. It pauses in its endeavor to cover your body once again with this stranger's coat, and instead lets it fall. You had almost forgotten all about him—the strange man who stole away Marco’s favorite toy from right under his nose. 

John and the stranger share a look as you retreat back into yourself. Hands folded over your bare lap, you didn’t feel naked until they finally understood who you are—what you are. Pristine nails dig into your palms as you swallow back the bilious vomit that threatens to spew free. 

“If we take you home, will you be safe there?” His eyes land back on you, but you can’t bring yourself to give him the same courtesy. 

You shake your head. “He’s going to be so mad. He… he pays for my apartment. I don’t have any money of my own. I don’t have a phone. I… There’s nothing. I have nothing. Marco’s provided everything for me and I never… he never gave me the chance to…” 

“I understand,” John interjects, carefully quelling your rambling. He waits for a moment before leaning back in his chair, retracting every bit of malice he exuded while interrogating you. “I’m sorry, love. Should’ve done our research better.” 

“It’s okay… Marco didn’t leave much of me to find.” 

John’s eyes darken in a way that would leave most men with their tail tucked between their legs. You’re too busy making yourself small to notice. “We’ll fix that.” 

In the next few hours, your life changes drastically. It’s sudden and feels just as violent as everything always does, yet it is intimidatingly soft. The gazes that are cast your way scream pity instead of lust, and you are handled with so much care you’re convinced you’ve become nothing more than a tchotchke. At least these men treat you with fragility rather than flippancy. 

You learn the man who took you from Makarov’s club is named Riley. You’re able to get a better look at him without the blindfold and terror willing your vision elsewhere. He’s intimidating. Arms drenched in ink, it’s almost enough to smother the scars that map the story around his body. It can’t shroud the ones on his face. The thin line that dissects his eyebrow, or the one on his nose which only makes the curve of the bridge more dramatic. His eyes are darker than anything you’ve ever seen before—so empty and yet full at the same time; nothing but a contradiction as he watches you pull his coat tighter around your shoulders. 

It is decided that—for your safety—you are to live with Riley until it is determined you are out of Marco’s reach. 

Despite your apprehension, you can’t say no. 

Riley’s house feels like a den. Well guarded but comfortable, the plush cushions that cradle you on the couch feel false. Fake. Everything does, but it’s mostly you. Your hair. Your clothes. Your skin. Nothing about you is tangible, not even to yourself. 

You’re still swaddled in Riley’s coat by the time he tells you that your room is ready. Really, it’s his room. You want to tell him you’d rather sleep on the couch than in some stranger’s bed, but you can hardly bring yourself to speak a single word to him. He scares you, but not in the way people usually do. It’s not the fear of pain that he riles within you, but rather something light. Something that flickers and sputters, waiting to grow. You smother it as he hands you proper clothes to change into. You don’t know where he got them from or why they fit so well, and you don’t care to ask. 

His room is… what you expected of a man like him. Plain walls, sturdy wardrobe and bed. A wristwatch ticks on the nightstand. It laments quietly, so much so that you only notice it when you sink into the mattress. He’s changed the sheets and pillowcases for you, but it’s not enough to snuff out the faint scent of tobacco. You like it, you decide. Or rather, you don’t mind it. Grounding earthy notes are much better than the synthetic chemicals Marco soaks himself in. 

Sleep comes about as easy as you expect it to. A TV drones on quietly in the living room as you toss and turn among unfamiliar sheets. Dull anxiety claws within the cage of your chest, but it holds itself at bay better than you anticipated. Or rather, you are just too numb to fully appreciate the pain. You should be afraid. You know it, and it’s lurking there even if you can’t fully feel it yet. 

It manifests suddenly as you feel the ghost of Marco’s hands on you. His teeth digging into your skin, demanding flesh. He wets his maw with your blood just as he wets his cock with your cunt. It sears. Rips through you in the brutal way it always does. Raw. Sinew on bone. And you don’t cry because it’s what he wants. He wants that brine and that sapor and he’ll claim it with claws and a smile. 

His mantra pants. It sweats and drips. It’s wet on your ear. 

There’s no escaping him.

You wake just after the sun does, and it is only then that you cry. 

Grief is the quintessence of escape. You’ve crossed the threshold—you were dragged beyond it—and now there’s no way back to the way things were. Your life wasn’t good, and it was far from comfortable, but it was familiar. You only know how to navigate things when bound. Chained to an unforgiving master. How are you supposed to live with free hands? 

What happens when Marco yanks your leash and finds no tension? 

What becomes of his favorite toy—Marco’s girl—then? 

By the time you finally gather the courage to leave the room, you find Riley in the kitchen. It’s what drew you out of your hiding spot originally; that scent of freshly cooked food. Sizzling meat and steaming eggs. He works at the stove with his back turned to you, arms dancing above the heat as he fries up a breakfast that should make your mouth water, yet it fails to do so. 

“Morning.” He hears you before he sees you, but he pauses with a spatula in hand to look at you from over his shoulder. He gestures to the island in front of you—something you suspect was only built to compensate for the lack of counter space on either side of the stove—then hums to himself as he turns his attention back to his work. “Breakfast’ll be finished soon, if ya wanna grab a seat.” 

There’s a stiffness that plagues your limbs as you sit on the high top chair Riley pointed to. It rolls off you in waves. Taints the air; souring it with your presence. You are not comfortable in this place—with this man. His palm haunts the chapped skin of your lips the same way his chest haunts your back and you can’t help but wonder what he and John would have done to you had they deemed you guilty. If they had looked at Marco’s girl and saw an opportunity rather than a pitiful creature, would you be sitting here now? 

Breakfast is a quiet affair of scraping plates and muffled chewing. Riley doesn’t sit next to you. Rather, he stands on the other side of the counter with a bowed head as he shovels egg and bacon into his mouth as if he’ll starve if not. He tries to rest his elbows on the counter, but it’s too low. It curves his spine uncomfortably, and he shifts as if standing on hot coals. 

Hunger does not pull at your stomach. Nervosity fills you to the brim—too full to consume something other than the ache. 

“I’m sorry ‘bout last night.” Riley’s nearly finished with his food by the time he speaks, prompting you to look up at him for the first time since you sat down. All you’ve managed to do for the last few minutes is drag the tip of your fork around your scrambled eggs. “Boys really thought you were dangerous. That you were workin’ with Makarov and Marco. Shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.” 

Dull teeth dig into the wet flesh inside your cheeks. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay,” Riley argues adamantly. “But I am sorry.” 

It’s difficult to discern the purpose of his apology. Is it to make himself feel better for what he did? For dragging you out of that club and into John Price’s office? To interrogate you until your innocence was proven? Does he say sorry to comfort himself, or you? To prove he’s not as monstrous as he looks with dark eyes and tight lips. He is, after all, awfully kind for a monster. You have yet to meet a beast that knows how to apologize without digging their teeth into you afterwards. 

Perhaps his apology is truly for you. To settle fried nerves. To make you feel safe. 

You know better than that. 

You were safer in the clutches of Marco’s jaw than you are now. 

“Riley, can… can I ask something?” 

A cheeky remark bubbles along his tongue. You just did. He takes one look at you and decides to bite it back. “Course.” 

A noisome lurch pulls at your stomach, embittering the sparse bites of food you were able to force down your throat. Thunder roars in your chest as your heart attempts to break free—leave your body behind to rot while it escapes. 

“Would I… Could I get the pill?” you ask. 

“The pill?” he repeats. 

“Yeah, like… the… the morning after pill?” 

His silence doesn’t surprise you, but it stretches long enough to be concerning. Looking up from your cold food, you’re met with soft eyes. They’re the softest ones that have looked at you for what feels like ages. Gentle. They don’t greedily rake over your body to soak in every twitch of your skin—rather, he reads you. Between the lines and and in the margins, he devours every word. 

For the first time in your life he makes you feel more like a victim than a toy, and you’re not sure if that feels any better. 

“Will you be alright by yourself if I go buy it for you?” he asks. There’s no judgment; only pity. 

You nod. 

Riley mulls it over as his tongue swipes along the back of his teeth. When he straightens, he brings his plate with him as he steps back and hums. Your attention is quickly brought back to your hands as he sets the dish in the sink to be cleaned later. 

“Alright.” You try not to choke as he motions to your plate. “Should eat. I’ll be back soon, yeah?” 

Once again, you nod. “Okay.” 

Not a single morsel has been consumed off of your plate by the time Riley returns home, and you are not in your seat. Disappointment buzzes at the base of his skull, but he’s not surprised. He knows what it’s like to be too full to eat—to be plagued with something not even hunger can triumph. He sets aside the pill box to clean up after you. Food in the bin. Plate in the sink to be washed later. 

It’s quiet. It’s never this quiet. Not even when he’s home by himself, which he usually is. Riley stands in the kitchen with furrowed brows as he looks around the room like he’s misplaced something. His keys. His lighter. 

God, he could use a smoke. 

Heavy feet cause old wood to creak as he pokes his head into the bedroom. An imprint of your body still dips into the mattress from this morning, but it’s gone cold. He was going to stay politely stationed in the doorway until the thought flickers across his mind that you’ve left. Got too scared of the brute whose home you’re trapped in and ran off. Away. Hiding from the world—from Marco. 

There’s little reprieve to be found when he notices the light shining through the crack of the bathroom door, but it’s smothered the moment he hears you crying. They’re pathetic, stifled pules. Ones you attempt to desperately hide, yet they bleed out of you anyway. He wants to leave you alone, to let your emotions wash over you, but he can’t. 

Even with your crying, the house is too quiet. 

“Everythin’ alright?” 

Both his voice and knock startle you, and your sobbing swells. Breathing out of control, he can hear you choke on the snot flowing through your sinuses. You’re panicked, and he realizes that this is more than grief. More than anxiety. More than fear. 

You’re terrified. 

You’re standing in the bathtub like a scared cat when Riley opens the door. Tears stream down your face. Relentless. They nearly glisten as bright as the kitchen knife in your hand. 

You told yourself it would be easier for him to clean up the mess of your corpse if you killed yourself in the bathtub. Blood festers and rots in the smallest of crevices, but there’s none of that to be found in the ceramic that surrounds you. However, you’re having trouble getting any blood to flow at all. You’re not sure if it’s you or the knife, but you’re hardly able to break the skin on your wrists. The crimson blood that flows through your minor cuts feels trivial. There needs to be more. 

It’s not enough. You’re scared that you might have to stab yourself. Spill your guts in the tub. Witness your offals for yourself before you fade away. Something. You want to die, but you don’t want it to hurt. 

You don’t want it to hurt, but you need to leave. 

“Hey. Hey, easy now.” Riley feels as if he’s talking to an animal. Some feral cat poised to bite and scratch if he’s not cautious. He approaches you with his palms faced out in surrender, and the walls around you seem to close in. “You don’t wanna do this sweetheart. Give me the knife.” 

“You don’t understand. I can’t. I can’t do this. You-You don’t know what he’ll do to me. Marco he... It’s- I- fuck, I can’t. I can’t do this, please just let me do this.” 

Each word is muffled. So far from your ears that it hardly reaches you. Still, they spew along with your cries. It doesn’t deter Riley from closing in on you. Swallowing the spit building on your tongue, you hold the knife with both hands. A simple kitchen blade, now brandished like a weapon. It’s nearly laughable. You couldn’t even kill yourself. How can you expect to hurt him? 

“I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s gonna be okay. We’ll make it okay, but I can’t do that if you’re not here.” His words feel stupid in his mouth, but he knows he has to try something. “Please. Give me the knife. I don’t wanna hurt you. Hey, give- fuck!” 

There’s a lunge. Grabbing. Blade on skin. Blood on tile. 

Riley meant it when he said he didn’t want to hurt you, but you still cry out as he yanks you out of the tub. Once again, your back is against his chest. You are enveloped by him as the two of you sink onto the bathroom floor, held down by his weight, and it is then that you truly can no longer hold yourself together. Vision darkening, chest ceasing; you panic. It rips through you with shaking hands and writhing legs, causing your feet to kick at the dull kitchen knife at your feet. 

For a moment, you are lost. Consumed by overwhelming grief and fear, and still Riley holds you through it all. You feel his heart beating against your spine, feel the exhale of his lungs dance on the top of your head. It’s a flicker in the darkness. In the primal fear of knowing you are still somehow chained to the man who has abused you for countless years. 

Dread transcends physical space. Marco planted it inside of you the first time his lips found the quiver in your throat. 

“Breathe, sweetheart. I’ve got ya.” 

Riley’s voice fades in like radio static. Disconnected and muffled, yet growing evermore clear. Then, it hits all at once. The slight sting of your wrists and the ache in your leg. Did you trip? You feel the growing bruise pulse and throb on your shin, and another one in your hip. It’s hardly bearable, but neither of them are as uncomfortable as the warm, sticky mess seeping into your shirt. 

It takes several seconds for you to realize it’s blood. 

“There, good. It’s alright,” Riley whispers. His voice is thick—heavy enough to make your stomach sink. 

“Am- Am I bleeding?” you stutter. 

“No, you’re alright. Don’t worry ‘bout the blood.” 

But you do. You worry about it because you don’t want it to hurt, you don’t even think you want to die anymore—you just want it gone. For it to dissolve around you, or for you to waste away into dust. Your chin rests against your chest as you look for the source, scouring your own body for the wound. Your wrists, your arms your legs—

—the wound is on Riley. 

Blood gushes through a gash on the top of his forearm, obscuring your view of the damage. It’s just as steady as every stream you ever used to jump over as a child. It slices through the meticulously crafted ink that graces his skin, and you feel as if you’ve cut through the canvas of a painting. Ruined something good. Something more useful than yourself. More than that, you hurt him. 

“Oh my god, your arm,” you gasp. 

“It’s nothing,” Riley attempts to assure. 

“There’s so much blood, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s nothing,” he reiterates. “Just a cat scratch, sweetheart.” 

His cat scratch takes twenty minutes to patch up. You count the time on the ticking of his wristwatch as you lay in his bed. Body too weak and afflicted with malaise to make something of yourself, you stare at the ceiling as you listen to him hiss and grunt. It’s the blood, you’re sure. Despite the flow, he manages to smother it to nothing more than a scab beneath pristine dressings. 

It takes him another ten minutes to clean you up. He assesses the wounds you left on yourself—shallow horizontal cuts along the delicate skin of your wrists. You stare at them as he cleans and bandages them, and you tell yourself the sting from the antiseptic is what makes your eyes water. 

You’ve created a mess for nothing, and Riley is the one paying for it. 

“There.” He secures the last piece of tape on the gauze. It feels unnecessary. Band-aids would have sufficed, and you tried to tell him as much only for him to mutter something about infections. “Not too tight?” 

You shake your head. “It’s fine.” 

Content, he hums as he steps away from the bed, gathering up items off of the nightstand. You watch as his fingers swallow rolls of tape, forearm flexing beneath his own dressings. Teeth digging into your bottom lip, your heart lurches, as the guilt pierces through you like a blade. You’re not sure why it lurks. Is it because you hurt him? Because you tried to leave a corpse for him to come home to? 

“I’ll get you some water. Ought to take that pill sooner rather than later,” Riley says, turning to leave the room. 

He only makes it a few steps before you stop him. “I lied.” 

Pausing, his eyes find you with more confusion than you expected. “Yeah?” 

“I lied about… needing the pill. I just said it so you would leave,” you admit. You push yourself up from the bed, legs swinging over the side of the mattress to sit and properly look at him. “When… I first… Marco used to make me take birth control. Like, the actual pills. I got pregnant anyway. Made me get the IUD after that. It’s more effective, so I don’t think I’ll really need it. I mean, I’ve never needed it before, so…” 

Listening, Riley nods as you bare the raw parts of yourself. It’s impossible to share without that warble in your tone—that pain that always leaks into your voice—but in some strange way, it feels good. Refreshing. You’re airing out an old, festering wound that hasn’t ever seen the light of day. 

“You got a kid to take care of? If they’re with Marco-” 

“No,” you interrupt. Riley’s words die on his tongue. “No, he… he made me get an abortion, too. It’s for the best, really. Kids shouldn’t be around that monster anyway.” 

Again, he nods. The house feels loud. Every inch of the four walls around you seems to buzz with an energy you’re not privy to. 

“Well, some water wouldn’t hurt. Food wouldn’t either, since you never finished breakfast,” he continues as he turns. “Want anything specific?” 

He’s so… casual. Nonchalant despite the trauma you subjected him to. He should be angry with you. Furious at having made a mess; at having hurt him. His entire life was turned upside down the very same moment yours was—he should hate you for it, but he doesn’t. 

“Whatever’s easiest.” The floorboards are loose by the door. They squeak as he crosses the threshold, and you feel your stomach lurch. “Riley?” 

Pausing, he turns on his heel as his head pokes back into the room. “Yeah?” 

So calm. So patient. 

“Thank you. For everything. I just… Thank you, Riley,” you choke. 

For the first time since he caught you in that club, he smiles; small and kind. 

“Just Simon to you, yeah?”

follow @mother-ilia to be notified of updates | support me on patreon!

[satocidal]

𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ 𓂂 ˚ ☆"Foreigner's God" - Geto Suguru

Synopsis: For money and power, Suguru would do a lot, but for a love he didn’t want? Somehow, he finds himself bending even the strongest of ideals. Five years ago he’d saved a monkey—not actually processing the estranged entanglement that would lead him to.

— word count: 10k 💀

— A/n: so i slightly re-did my old fic - "angel of small death and codeine scene", because it felt horrendous lol. the reader might a little ...ooc? if that is a thing? also, it may seem confusing so - the reader is daughter of suguru's loyal hitsman but that man is a horrendous father so...yes. it might be unclear so reader is 22+ and suguru is around 28-29.

— Warnings: smut!!MDNI!!Afab! Reader x Suguru; use of religious themes; minor death(S); power play; gore(straight up murder); sub-dom dynamics; degradation; humiliation; impact play (fem receiving); oral (m! And f! Receiving); reader is mostly referred to as a female; complicated storyline; mentions of blood; emotionally abusive father+family; reader is a hitsman; traditional marriage roles ig

The first bell.

The second bell.

Then the third.

Married. 

~5 years ago~

The words echoed in your head, over and over and over and over—it hurt. 

His hands were soft as they held yours, he led you slow, your father’s did.

The white veil that you’d spent hours to decide upon, the one you would never care about—it swept beside you, gasps escaping the lips of many as you walked out. And there, there your eyes met his.

Poised he stood, white hair slicked back—nothing like those superficial memories his Servants had sung to you about, nothing like the glimpses you’d caught of him. This man, the one on your altar—that was Suguru Geto.

Not the Geto-Sama you’d heard of, the ones who was a deity to all- a pretty hand fared upon those who sought him blindly; not the Curse user Geto, the fugitive you recognised him to be, the one you hated—no. 

None of that.

This was Suguru Geto—your husband to be.

You hadn’t assumed your wedding to be a fairytale—in all honesty, you hadn’t assumed anything at all. But the heart of the little girl in you wept, openly so, when the worn upon thin line of a supposed smile didn’t do so much as even cast a shadow upon you.  Not to be perceived wrong, however—Suguru certainly had grinned and smirked, laughed and tickled himself senseless—perhaps so to forget this ordeal—to forget you.

Eyes moist, a tear he did let go off—superficial it was, you knew it, but a saint Suguru Geto would be deemed the next day in the whispers of his followers, especially the ones who envied to be you.

Don’t get me wrong, congratulated by everyone—he did show joy, in some meaning of the word, just not the way you hoped—or even supposed for that matter. 

Yours was never meant to be that perfect wedding, not at the core of it—you knew that from day one of the sequenced wedding but then—just something, a little dream and heart crushed grudgingly when you realized it wouldn’t be your husband who cried the moment he set his eyes on his bride—it wouldn’t be you telling those cute stories about your wedding day.

It wouldn’t be you—it was normal you’d heard, for grooms to be overwhelmed in their weddings- the thought of spending a forever with his bride, the supposed memories flooding their mind—but it wouldn’t be for you. He stood there with hands behind him, eyes awaiting your presence still.

A smile he held—empty as you joined him—eyes were very telling your father had preached, never once had you found him to be wrong.

His hands felt cold as you held them—cold like the storm his warm hands had saved your family from, colder still somehow was his presence, then and now. And you realized, your heart — to what you had thought to be a void, trained so — breaking as you realized that the marriage was a cage to him as much as you. Neither happy—he wasn’t happy within your presence, or anyone else’s.

Pathetic. But again, did it truly matter?

The wedding had begun— officiated, soon your “I do”s would slip, the wedding couldn’t be stopped now, not ever.

And in that moment your eyes flickered to your own mother—she stood regal.

Embroidery she’d fought into you, cooking and baking, sewing a skill she’d made you own too—pity she couldn’t teach you controlling your emotions—pity you despised all that was your influence.

Your eyes managed to flicker onto him—saintly, your brain

mused—your heart couldn’t help but agree. And those saintly

features held an ugly heart you told yourself, solace to a lonesome mind.

“Suguru, do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect Y/N, forsaking all others, and holding only unto her forevermore?”

When he took a moment to answer with a blank gaze, you could feel tiny pricks being sent straight to your heart. Just a mere glance at his stolid mien was enough for you to believe that he was going to call off the wedding and run away—mayhaps you wanted that, mayhaps, you didn’t.

What else could you expect?

He clearly didn’t want this, understandable was the fact. It wouldn’t surprise you if he took a step back and announced that he couldn’t go on in making an oath to offer the rest of his life with you. That he would rather get out of this hell hole and be somewhere else than to proclaim a love that was being forced out of him.

But it was his choosing, was it not? And mayhaps, yours.

The cult leader had chosen you, and in the process, you—him.

He’d watched you a while, days, you knew of his lingering gaze—respectful then, disgusting now.

“I do,” he professed, despite the inner turmoil that plagued his head.

You sighed—soft.

“Y/n, do you promise to love, honor and cherish and protect Suguru, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him forevermore?”

You remembered the day clearly—father had knocked once on your once—a new found privacy in your sheltered house was the first sign.

A wide smile—“He’s chosen you.”

Your heart sank.

He’d chosen you.

Your eyes were quick—a glance here and there and everywhere—the pause was heavy; you watched your father’s nod of encouragement—your mother’s sharp eyes—his daughters’ smile, innocent - his followers’ sip of champagne—your sister’s eyes were hazy; his best man’s tipsy.

You couldn’t say no—“I do,”

“Bride and Groom, you have heard the words of love and marriage, have exchanged your vows and made your promises, and celebrated your union with the giving and receiving of rings. It is at this time that I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the officiant declared, “you may now kiss the bride.”

Your eyes widened behind your veil- not your first- the breath hitched as Suguru removed your veil—crystal seemed his eyes, crystal clear was his distaste. He was tall—comical in fact—you tip toed slight, he leaned in a bit—the kiss was warm, chill, foreign. His hand rested upon your cheek, a stroke—a pull, brief.

Your eyes watched as he pulled away, a new smile on his lips—an actor he would have proven to be—or, as you knew, he was.

A million thoughts clouded you and him—known to only the two of you—marriage worked quick in that sense you supposed, your mother  and sister were perhaps right. But when all was said and done—the marriage was officiated.

And your eyes met then—a thought passed between you and your husband—stuck together—sincerely, fuck you.

The ride back ‘home’ was tedious, it burnt, it burnt all too much.

“Geto-Sama will prove to be amazing,” the driver spoke alone,  yet, all too soon—as he had been for the past anxious hours—time moved slow, slower than the gaze you didn’t dare hold against him.

A soft smile he held, serene as if -  “I’m sure he will be,”you mumbled back,  just as fake a smile you held too—husband and wife—equal footing, equal qualms at the truth you didn’t accept and lies you foretold.

‘Geto-sama’ this and a ‘Geto-sama’ that— the entire reception had been torturous, you hated it—hated the man they chose not to acknowledge—hated the murderer, hated him, your husband.

All to your liking though, the car finally came to a stop, at your residence—your new home.

-

“You may sleep here,” soft a voice, too cold a tone – however, compared to the gaze he held—it felt welcoming.

You nodded just as quietly, a good wife would never fight, they’d taught you—more important than ever for your life now depended upon so.

“Geto-Sama,” you hated the way it rolled off your tongue so smooth—meant to be, “where will you sleep?” Innocent enough a question and yet the scoff he passed under his breath was all well noticed by you.

“Not to worry you darling,” he smiled softly still, “I wouldn’t ever imagine sleeping with you,” and wrapped in his words lay the tone of condescension—hidden all so beautifully, a small round of hide-and-seek in itself. 

Lips pursed, you stared at him—“you can… drop the act, we’re alone,” the tone itself surprised you—the confidence all the more so, as you bore deep into his eyes, unwavering.

A brow cocked, he passed a smirk well of his own, “So the monkey is capable of thinking, hm? Where was this tongue all this while?”

“To call the future bearer of your children a monkey, your own wife - you should remember you are also a part of me now,” it was desperate really, bringing in the prospect of a future you never wanted for the sake of some respect.

A deep rumble emerged within his chest—chaos, “You think you’ll have such rights? What are you if not worth less than your father’s money?” Your face burnt at his words—hot, embarrassed, it was true.

“A reminder perhaps,” you spoke through clenched teeth—“you were the man who came begging to my father for-”

“-for money, not a whore to be passed around,” his words lay sharp, all so much so that the hilt of his words was enough to penetrate too mayhaps.

“Could have called yourself a celibate, Geto-Sama,”

his words sharp- yours blunt, impact lay the same with both—regret caused to the other.

“Are you so desperate that you are willing to fight to sleep with a strange man, all so alien to you?” There it lay, that constant lazy smile—the one he never shied to portray to his desperate followers—now, to you.

“A husband,” gritted teeth, you bared, “you are a husband now, my husband, accept the fate,” sharp inhale—sharper exhale, you simply despised him.

Annoyance hung loose in the air, an open wound to you both.

“The only fate,” he paused—ears ringing unto the sound of footsteps—his daughters’, “is the one where you’re no more but a mere shadow in my life, monkey,” disgust all so prevalent on a pretty face as his—pity, really.

“So be it,” you nodded, a lick of your lips and a deal on the tongue, “no more a legal wife am i to you,” 

“Be glad you could achieve that at all,” and just as quickly the somber mood had shifted to annoyance, it was back too—as the door clasped open, the twins rushing in to meet their new found mother.

Mother—oh just how hilarious the fate’s jokes lay.

A mother—a wife—a woman for his needs.

-

A week. 

A week spent in solitude, the white ceiling, a new friendship you’d found, the dark wood flooring your vice as you suffered.

Day in and day out—seconds ticked by, slowly churning out the hours and eyes that lay moist

forever remained so.

You despised it all. 

His expanse and his family, his charm and his style, his maids and his followers — his daughters, ah. 

Something, perhaps you didn’t hate, that belonged to Geto, did exist.

Innocent smiles, the kind you’d never worn—hefty laughter he provided them with, his pride and his joy—now yours too, mutual a partnership the marriage was.

“Y/n,” they’d murmured excitedly, Nanako had— Mimiko's shy glances and little smiles, just as endearing. 

A mother you’d become, how complicated. 

But fickle was your happiness, just there and often never at all.

Your heart raced, ears perked up at the voice of approaching footsteps—the daughter of Suguru Geto’s best hitman, a little too many tricks lay up your sleeves themselves. 

Quick, soft, padded—your servants.

Loud, racy and sudden? His daughters.

Soundless? Suguru.

Thoughts proven none but correct, Suguru did stand bearer of your observation—a frown as always on the beautiful face.

And you wondered just how prettier it could be, if only he were gagged and stuffed aside. 

“Get up, you have to move” words shuffled fast—frenzied, a thin layer of sweat on his forehead.

“Why?” Defiance, slight defiance in the form of annoyance presented to him you displayed, little impact but just enough—especially when he would let out a ragged sigh, holding himself back.

“Don't question me, now is not the time.” 

Your heart soared giddily at that too—“What? Your blind followers realized your reality?” 

Your words were sarcastic, the situation? Not so much.

A sharp gaze, piercing, bore into you.

Dead, at a finger’s flick if he wanted—but then again, he didn’t, he couldn’t.

So he did the next best thing that he’d realized in a week’s worth of time- the little smirk was wiped off quick as he kneeled close to you, so close.

“It is for your protection,” a whisper, all too serious, curious, you looked down at him - he was playing his cards right, giving you leverage.

You breathed in a sharp intake, protection? Whatever for?

Suguru Geto - a special grade, you stood as one of the finest hitmen too - what protection? 

And then in the flicker of a gaze you’d think and consider it all, his lies, his treachery - moving you was new, different. It meant shift of powers - it  meant he held the course of action - you simply couldn’t digest that, right?

“Get up,” he repeated.

“No.”

Your head turned to the right sharp, a swift slap he’d landed on your cheek—it didn’t hurt,

you’d faced worse after all—but oh how it hurt you.

Apathetic, he stared.

Blankly, you stared back.

A moment of silence, heavy.

“Are you really so imbecilic?”

Silence again—you wanted to rip his hair out—“Get up,”

“Why?”

His voice, almost panicked now, it was uncanny. 

You had seen, known Suguru Geto, even if from the periphery of your father’s existence, for at least a decade now. 

All smiles and polite words he’d been, all calculated and stiff - never….this.

A clench of his jaw and a brush of fingers through the hair—“Monkeys like you aren’t safe here, you do not understand the gravity of this.”

And somehow, it warmed your heart. 

“I can fight-”

“-yes and I am well aware of that, as well the skill passed down your lineage but now is the not the time to be difficult,”

Dumbly, you looked—“what is it? Some…” your mouth ran dry, “some attack?” 

An unamused chuckle he was quick to let go—“something of the sort,” he paused, face reigning back to all his seriousness—“the marriage was sure to develop tension, me and you…” a frown etched on his face, the way his face shifted through emotions at the reminder of his new life, “i am surprised it took an entire week for the disturbance,”

You sat there still, disturbance?

Many thoughts ran wild, his and yours.

You wanted to ask a many hundred questions - who, why, was it all so revolting to have an uprise against you?

“Don’t worry then-” he scoffed, still in front of you, on his knees, “wouldn’t want my pretty little wife to suffer,” his words felt fake, maybe they were.

You swallowed hard—“where to?”

“My chambers,” 

Your heart sunk and yet you felt a rush of serotonin.

~3 years ago~

“Y/n,” Nanako’s voice dragged, “c’mon we’ll be late!” The constant sound of typing annoyed you—squinting eyes stared at her from a distance.

“Remind me why such enthusiasm again?”

“Papa’s dealing with non-sorcerers today,”

Again-as he had been, always.

“Mama,” the word rang in your mind—Mimiko’s voice was soft in contrast — Mama, a certain ring to it, familiarized and yet so antagonized in your head.

You hummed in response simply—“Papa requests you to be there tonight…” her words trailed away, the convocation all too loud, the impact all so evident.

“Right…” you let your words hang open as well—he wanted you present, in day and light, flesh and sight—his wife to be shown off.

Every once a while, you were his proven lucky charm after all, his priestess.

-

Crowded, nauseating, full of idiots. 

You sat right beside your husband, high and aloft - dressed in a kimono, perhaps more dramatic than his clothes in such ceremonies - after all, you were the head-priestess.

You remembered the day well, when he’d announced you so.

A month within the marriage, the night after a group of rogues had attacked your car. 

He wasn't afraid - but infuriated, yes.

For you? You’d wondered, when he slept that night beside you - anger blanketed him, his form, and then you’d scoffed to yourself.

Of course, not.

It was all for the fact that they dared to attack what was his - dared to question him, his decisions.

A dagger rested at your side now, gift from no other than your Geto-Sama, two years ago—a

wedding gift.

You hated the fact that it was the best you could’ve managed to find.

Slow, the proceedings were, lazy his smirks as the likes of you begged. 

As the monkeys begged to him. 

“Headaches, nauseating? Hmm,” he smiled, pensive, reflective—“sounds to me like you’re troubled,” and just so, it amused you—to how dumb non-sorcerers truly were. 

Fickle-minded.

“Geto-Sama,” eyes squinted at the tone of the woman, a whimper—a common whore—begging for his touch in broad sunlight, for your husband’s touch.

Sure, you hated him—but oh how you hated the fact that he touched so many other women whilst being married to you.

And somehow, you always became the other woman.

“Yes darling?” He called back coolly, your blood boiled, he’d never called you that.

Only insults.

“I think…think you need to…” her words trailed away, a satisfied murmur erupting through the crowd—they remembered, remembered it well.

Engraved in the memory of most what you’d only caught the gist if, even as a rumour.

Suguru had fucked her—in front of them all. 

As treatment, as help.

In the name of all that was holy, all that was religious—he’d sworn it would help her—it made her addicted. One  drug to another, Suguru did nothing, he would do nothing today 

either perhaps.

Was this why he called you? 

To humiliate you such?

“Ah ah ah,” click on of his tongue, sharp—“hold yourself - is your goddess not present here for you to spout such non-sense?,”

Your heart burned. 

Goddess, their goddess—you were their goddess—his goddess.

Jaw clenched, you stared from the side, distaste evident upon you and her—adorable, he deemed it.

“She’s nothing-”

-silence, as quick as she’d begun to stare at you in disgust, just as quickly she retreated. 

Beyond livid he seemed, an amazing actor surely, never one to hear words against his precious wife, only he could dole it out - in his chambers.

An actor you hated before the marriage, an actor you continued to hate now.

A chuckle interrupted his thoughts and yours—“Geto…,” the investor—the one Suguru’d been trying to impress.

So was the reason you’d been called, ever since you’d been named his head-priestess, the devotee’s goddess, you served one faction. To bring in those who Suguru couldn’t buy with money.

A continuity of a deep rumble lay bared throughout the assembly — relevance all so long as Geto would decide.

“You act like she matters at all,” your stomachs dropped, he was right, was he not? 

But how dare he spoke of you - your blood boiled as your eyes fixated upon him.

“What is she? A hunter?” Another prolonged chuckle—electing those from beside you as well, your ears hurt from how hot they were. 

Hunter? You had been your father’s greatest possession, with skills that surpassed his own - you had trained all your life as a hitsman, and now brought down to what?

A laughing stock in your husband’s cult, in his sphere of lies.

“Just a trophy wife for you, isn’t she?” Unwantedly, even in moments such—of your disrespect, your eyes gazed onto him -at suguru, you hated yourself for these moments.

You hated the helplessness - you hated the need for him to take a stand for you.

And yet, Something about the thin smile he held every time you were disrespected reassured you, it wasn’t much—not an ounce of anger reflected upon his face, if he felt any, that is. 

You could feel the eyes of all, not the first time you’d been presented to the assembly, the first time the ruse you played was out.

“She’s my wife,” his voice was calm, “trophy or no is none of your business—she’s priced if anything—far more than you could ever afford, so think with that thick head of yours, at least once if you can manage, before you dare to look at her.”

Definite—his words were fast, surprising all the more.

The laughter halted, silence was all so deafening, “You’re defending that slut before me Geto?” Shaky, the man’s voice was held, anger evident—your grip tightened on your dagger.

Suguru’s smile only ever grew right beside you, “Do you want the honors darling?” You froze on the spot.

You carried that dagger everyday, you hadn’t killed a soul since the marriage three years ago, he’d demanded you stop this practice.

Face whipped to face him, he could see the way your face shone, your eyes hesitant—

“Talk to me you fucker! That bloody bitch and your cult won’t manage without me,” His words rang through the hall as he did so—your feet worked upon its own, you stood on your feet, crisp steps taken towards him.

“Just give me those whores beside you then, this one seems a bit used” he grinned further, directing his gaze onto Nanako and Mimiko and then back at you as you walked to him. 

A nodding smile from your husband being all that you need—swift you came, swift the man fell, mere seconds.

Bloods oozed, some rested upon your cheek just as much, three stab wounds—a drowning business deal of Geto—a sailing heart of yours and his smile.

The body twitched in dismay, adrenaline coursed through you—three years since you’d last killed something living, you couldn’t feel it. 

“Dismissed,” Suguru spoke aloud, basking in the shock of his followers and alike—however, yours too.

A hitman you were, sure, but so far you’d only done what your father directed.

Not Suguru, not up till now.

A sinner—his sinner.

Your body shook, the dagger fell quick, the moment the Hall was empty, just you and Suguru inside. 

“What did you have them prepare for lunch today?” Domestic as if, normal, if he’d name it—acting as if a murder did not just happen—the man’s body was still warm.

You’d done this plenty of times and yet this felt new, this felt like a shift.

And then, you were afraid he’d make this your purpose.

You offered none but a soft silence—“y/n?”

You hated him. 

You hated everything.

You hated how he pretended to be confused by your dilemma.

“Can you stop?” A hiss of a voice—“you just- I- stop!” 

Small an outburst, tears trickled the verge of falling apart.

“It’s fine,” he mused, “you can let go,”

“shut up,” you whispered fast- “don’t talk to me like that- like- like you’re superior. You just usedme- fuck- I- your cult…”

A step all too close he took, “come here,” softly he spoke—uncharacteristic, why now? 

After three years of an empty marriage—had he found your use? A skill he’d thrown away when undesired and now back to square 1?  

Not the first time you’d cried in front of him, many a confrontations had come and gone—many a times you’d thrown empty insults at him—many times he’d threatened you, all in vain.

So why now?

Empathetic all over a night? Couldn’t be.

Empathetic over your transition? Shouldn’t be.

Your heart paced, mind hurdled- hands held onto his form tightly as he did yours, body convulsing in his embrace, your kill lay astray, forgotten. 

“You’re fine,” he murmured against your head—all so close, first time.

 And a thought you couldn’t help but withdraw—is this how those women felt? When he held them so close to where you’d never been? 

“You did as you should’ve, a great priest - hitsman,”

Sheer shambles your heart lay in—you wanted to hate him, perhaps you did—most probably, not. 

“Why?” You whispered, pressed deep into his chest—an almost soothing hand upon your back rubbed, all so confused—both him and you.

“Figured you’d like it, but you seem confused now” he smiled, “you’re not a pawn y/n,” a fumbling kiss pressed on your forehead, the spot was now sacred.

This, you reminded yourself, is how he manipulated his followers.

You let it happen just as easily.

“I realise you feel used,” he muttered, “don’t. You have served me, my purpose.”

“Why all this? Why now?” you spoke against his form - “how long had you planned that man’s death?”

He looked down at you now, his eyes in yours, “ever since the first meeting he saw you in and asked of you,” you tried your best to figure how much of a lie lay in that statement, you weren’t sure.

An urge to pull away, an urge to ingrain yourself in him.

An empty marriage—all too loud your desires.

“You’re their goddess aren’t you? They needed all but a reminder,” He didn’t sound sweet anymore, it was all real—you knew so. 

-

Two months since your outburst, two months since he’d held you for the first time—two weeks, you’d suffered all so much.

Mentally, emotionally—physically. 

It was absurd, you’d spent three years still, yearning just some touch—but now more so than ever, you would perhaps beg for him. 

A shared bed you lay in, the heat in your heart was scorching—nothing close however to the desire between your legs. 

You craved him.

“You’ll accompany me tomorrow?” fingers clasped right around the book he was reading, he didn’t do so much as glance at you—yet, it was somehow endearing.

Gradual was the display from being ordered by his servants to show up when he pleases you to, to his daughters requesting you—to him, personally asking for it, it was bitter-sweet.

There were other small changes, changes he hadn’t bothered with for the first 2 years of your marriage - slided in now so easily - it hurt.

It was so easy for him to accept you, he chose not to.

But now that he did, it felt - you felt, just something.

You knew you were grasping on broken ends—but just something to the fallen was miraculous enough. 

You poised to think, “WAR AND PEACE”- Leo Tolstoy, hefty the handler, heftier its state, creased in the middle—whitening, pages browned years ago and a certain scent you couldn’t place.

Golden were the words still, it shone.

A simple “well?” From him broke your trance, a nod you passed.

Second time in the past fortnight, perplexed you lay by, watching moments tick by, unsure.

“Should I carry the dagger?” Same question as you’d asked last week—same reply awaited you, the same cunning smile, “Just your presence is enough,”

“23, 594 of you, you pay handsome sums all for this movement - for those in need…last week we were obliged with 3 million yen for our services and then 7 million, all by our business partners,” Suguru spoke in the same sweet tone of his—a mistake his words held. 

A tilt to the right, to correct him or no—you sucked in any air, perhaps your last.

“Not a simple feat it-”

“-25, 394 are present, and we didn’t get 10 million…it was 8- they didn’t pay all of it…” your voice was low, had the crowd been that of a murmuring one, it would have gone unheard—not from him perhaps, but in general. 

Not a glance spared, just a single smirk, “Ah, of course.” A lick of his lips and a look downturned, “I apologise—how sweet of my wife to remind me and correct me,”

My wife - not priestess suddenly, no.

A reminder, not to anyone else but you.

Amusing how you still shivered at the thought of it.

The rest of his words were a blur, his tone was hollow right after the apology—the same as you’d heard when he was upset— not mad. 

Because you remembered well how Suguru was when he was mad - you’d seen it once and the consequences of that, you repented stil.

-

“Leave,” the words seemed final, a tear rolled down your eyes.

“Geto-Sama,” your father panted, pathetic—simply so, no denial  to it. 

“Please,” three days you’d been begging, three days that Geto Suguru had stripped you all of any and every sense of dignity, of some thought of self preservation.

A scoff you heard, heart shattering—as eyes gazed onto the sight of your crawling father- a hitched breath, Suguru’s eyes lay stuck on you. 

“The debt,” Suguru mused quietly, “you want it forgiven?”

Your father nodded at his feet—broken sobs your mother flushed, sister’s nimble fingers upon yours—you hated Geto Suguru.

Perhaps that was exactly why you found yourself such.

Hating his woes, his breaths and his ideology—perhaps because you say it all lay a lie - the man was not forgiving, no, quite the opposite. 

Perhaps you hated him for the humiliation he granted that day, 6 years ago. 

“You’re nothing but a monkey, you know that,” Suguru mused simply, “But you are one of my best,” a hum he passed to second himself. 

Which was why this treatment seemed worse than it would have. Your father had served him so long, always there, everyday - by his side - the dirty work all carried out.

So what if a small debt remained unpaid? It could be forgotten - but no, Suguru Geto, as you stared at him while your father was stripped of his respect in that assembly hall, was no less a beast and beasts barely showed mercy.

Eyes, purple - sharp - as they bore into yours—“What’s your name?”

Quick, you almost didn’t catch his words, “y/n,” your father weakly muttered before letting out a pained cry—result of none but a kick from Suguru.

“I was talking to her,” a lazy smirk he adorned, “you’ve trained?” He inquired, a nod you passed.

“Skilled?” And that you were, having served so many over the years—skilled you simply were. 

“You can have her,” your father’s words lay rushed—heart seizing up deep. 

He couldn’t- wouldn’t- your mother wouldn’t.

You eyes suddenly dropped to his form - somehow now, it didn’t feel so bad that he lay there.

“Virgin?” 

“We can offer a fine dowry lord, for that issue,” groans, his—gasps, yours—“You'll be doing us a favour, in fact two.”

The  man’s face flits curiously between the two of you. You wonder if he can see the embarrassed tears threatening the corners of your eyes, the set of your lips, the way your fingers are clenching and shaking.

Your heart raced, face flushed—your parents eyes’, your sister’s, all trained upon you.

What a pity—a shake of your head, Suguru’s smirk widened as he knelt onto your level.

“Whoever would marry a used whore hm?” It was the exact smooth voice that you hated—the exact low grumble you feared.

“Fuck off,” the words were quick to slip out—perhaps, not appropriate but you regretted not a single moment.

Not your mother’s gasps or your father’s tremble or Suguru and his furrowed brows. 

“You’re talking to a god,” he whispered—

“I won’t worship a fraud.”

 Your reply was defiant—the situation was bared.

A made up god among men and a woman who would never worship him—and hence came about the dilemma when the god simply found his religion in the woman.

“Interesting,” he’d hummed then, the same smile that he wore then in the assembly, three years after your marriage.

A padded thumb reached into your cheek—wiping your tears away roughly—“I think you’ll be just as useful as your father,” he grinned, and something told you he’d use you in ways more than just a hitsman.

“You’ll be a better pet, right?”

Before you could gasp, before you could cry—before any sense of grief had caught you, fate had tied its strings with a man you deemed a monster—and the monster to his angel. 

-

The assembly took a good while to finish, 2 hours you sat, anticipating everything. 

It clicked very quickly that  you’d upset him by speaking over - by trying to correct him - something he never appreciated.

Something told you Suguru wouldn’t go tough on you—usually, he’d have someone humiliated to no extent but…you were his better half—not you, right? 

“Dismissed,” he muttered as always, you couldn’t help the squirming anymore.

The last two hours you’d suffered, the wetness in you edging onto itself at the worst time possible—every time he’d make eye contact, every time he’d glare. 

“Not you,” your heart dropped, you stood as a deer in  headlight then — just about to step out of the room as everyone else had.

“Come here,”

You swallowed hard—“I- I am sorry my lord I didn’t-”

“I didn’t ask you to talk monkey,” a slight pang to the heart—two months of overthinking was all down the drain, it didn’t mean anything perhaps.

Slowly, you trudged over, near to his feet—as close as he’d let you for the last time.

Cold eyes met you, blank a face and hair brushed open—“kneel,” he simply commanded, most days you’d have fought back- earned yourself a reprimand but not that day. 

What you had was enough already. 

From your position, you stared up at him—lips parted as small breaths you let out.

A moment of silence while you watched him take off the yukata robes, slender a form inside—the one you’d watched simply all too many times.

“You think you’re smart hm?” Your body shook, blame put on the coldness, you let yourself shiver—passing him a shake of the head.

“Geto-Sama I-”

“-is it that difficult an instruction?” Sharp a voice, it pierced through you, “don’t talk unless I fucking tell you to.” 

A frenzied nod, any denial to be passed onto him leaving your body as you gazed upon him, ethereal—and maybe, just maybe, the fraud of a god you hated was not all so bad to adore.

 “Thought you looked cute correcting me, hm?” Ever so serene a voice, one couldn’t almost differentiate whether he truly was upset or not. 

Another shake of your head, another tug at his lips.

“No?” Squinted eyes stared at you, “then attention? You wanted attention?” Your ears felt hot, maybe you did. 

“I wouldn’t be shocked honestly,” he paused, squatting down to your level, “your father did offer me a whore,” bottom lip clasped between your teeth, you dared not to look up at him—afraid simply of the hot tears spilling. 

“What is it, hm?” A large hand raised to flick the hair of your forehead—“Jealous, are we?” 

Clenched jaw, you stared at the ground—audacious he was to even question it—“but that shouldn’t be it right? A legal marriage is what you promised eh?” 

Too smug his voice lay, you hated him. 

He used all your cards against you so easily.

His hand rested at your cheek, hot to the touch—searing cold to the testament—“what was it then? An attention seeker? Or a whore?”

A ragged breath you let out—“You think it’s hilarious?”  Your eyes stared down into his, “to make a fool out of me?”

The hurt in your voice was no less than prevalent, it echoed still.

“I - would never…” you couldn’t understand where or how this sheepish nature struck you, you clenched your jaw at the mere realisation, “but talking of making fools…You fuck women left and right like it’s nobody’s business-”

“-oh it is about that hm?” A short chuckle he passed, euphoric to the ear, “you are a jealous bitch after all,”

“Cut it out Suguru,” 

His brows raised too, and internally—yours, at the courage of calling him such, “You don’t respect me but at least respect the marriage,”

“With a monkey?” 

It angered you as to how deep just a couple of his words could cut—‘a monkey’ you’d never be his equal.

“Yes, with a monkey—with your wife—with the woman your daughters seek a mother in,” quick you spoke—desperate to get it all out—“The woman you’ve simply used for business and now, a murder,”

Another short laugh.

“And now it’s about that is it?” 

Your blood boiled—to see him treating it all so insignificantly, “you made me-”

“-made you kill him? You killed a monkey darling, an animal of incoherent thinking. You should be glad. If anything I did you favors by granting you the opportunity to regain your skills, which are impeccable if I may - as is, it really isn’t the first time is it? You’ve killed before - this time, just an animal,”

A tug here, a tug there— your heart was torn at his words. 

“Further, you liked it—you like everything I do,”

A desperate ‘no’ spilled off your lips—meaningless.

Maybe you did like it—maybe you did like the way he took you away from that monster of a father, maybe you did like the way he isolated you, gave you all to hone your skills and what not, maybe you did like the little shows of affection because you were starved.

Maybe you were simply naive.

A series of clicking sounds of his tongue entered your ears—“you create ruckus over such thing,  hm, darling?” He got up again, “calls for a punishment doesn’t it?”

A final plea you passed—broken.

“Suguru please,” shaky, “I just- you can’t fuck women like that, the servants spread rumours and- and- its all so-”

“Strip and get on all fours,” lower an octave, his voice was serious, you bit your lips and complied, whatever else was there to do.

No other choice- you wanted it maybe.

His touch, even if punishing, he would embrace right after, right?

Slow, your fingers moved to take off all that was left of your decency—not the first time that you’d stripped for a man, hell, even geto had in these two and a half years of marriage seen you naked– but the first time you felt the lingering gaze. 

All down to the matching set of lingerie that he’d gifted you—every once in a while as he did, a sought compensation for his actions mayhaps, it did make you daydream anyways.

“Faster lest you wish to lengthen your punishment?” A quick shake of your head, your face felt hot, fingers twisted into the waistband of your panties —silk and lacy, almost As if innocent—as you slowly pulled them your lower half, feet tugging them off.

Your bra was forced away the same, shame enveloped you—not strong enough for all of you stood exposed, a cry of mercy to the god all in vain—for all too apparent,since  your supposed god was a fraud. 

A step taken slow towards Suguru, you were interrupted with a cough—“You’re a what, y/n?” 

Mind blank, you stared dumbly—and exasperated sigh he let out until you finally responded, “A monkey,” 

A nod of encouragement, he smirked, “and monkeys don’t walk right?”

Heights of your shame were peaking with every second passed, no other option to substitute, you nodded back—down on all fours as you crawled over to him.

The carpet was coarse underneath your knees, it hurt—not more so than your mind.

“Already so pliant sweetheart,” too giddy a voice, you wanted to punch him—but perhaps this was far better than what that would entail. 

You reached over to him shortly, “only had you been all so quiet from the very beginning…but oh how does it matter now,” a grin sounded to your ears—you wanted to cry. 

“All so naked,” he was walking about you now—all so exposed you stood, “so vulnerable—is this what you wanted?”

Your ears burned.

“Jealous of the women I fuck in front of my followers, right? Would you want to be fucked the same? I could summon them now—” another short chuckle, “their god with their goddess.”

You swallowed hard, lips licked as you awaited—unsure of what he could do.

“Tell me, does the thought make you wet?” 

“No,” lies—you knew it, and you hated yourself at that. 

A hum sincere, was all he passed—“alright then. Since you do love running your mouth all so much, your tongue and hands—”

Your ears ringed as the sight of the crowd that was typically present here flashed in your head—“25 strokes.”

Eyes wide you stared at the ground.

A silence awaited his words and he sighed loudly.

“Say yes or does my whore want more?” 

Another silence—soon he was right ahead of you—a sharp slap soon adding to the sting on your face.

Tears took no time, resting at the verge—you stared up at him, broken a voice meeting him, this was humiliating.

“I'm sorry,” you muttered softly—trembling at the look of it—not even sure what the apology was for. 

“Please i’ve never…” and somewhere along your blurred sight, his eyes softened all too little—“15, it's merely a spanking.” He decided silently. 

You nodded, knowing the bargain had gone deep— lowering your head, unsure of the entirety. 

“Spread your legs, arch your back” he murmured, you winced slightly as you did so—the texture of the carpet felt rough—your predicament all the more.

You felt his hands then, all over your back, calloused, you realised - smooth, they were relaxing you.

You felt him knead the flesh of your ass, then your thighs, treading as far as the flesh of your inner thighs - you wanted to whine at the teasing. 

“Count and thank me after each,” and all before you could agree— smack! The first smack struck hard.

Your eyes widened and a sharp inhale—“One—thank you Geto-Sama,” he nodded in confinement, satisfied Mayhaps, to your words. 

His hand rested along the  roundness of your ass—squeezing it, feeling it around—another smack alternated on the other cheek—“Two! Thank you Geto-Sama,”

Another squeeze—another exhale, you could feel your wetness spread - shameful.

The third strike was on the same spot as before—a pink tint added already to your ass, he adored the way you felt in his hand—“Three— thank you Geto-sa-! Ah!” You bit hard onto your lip as in the midst of your count he landed another strike at the same spot and another.

“F-four and five! Thank you Geto-Sama,” a ‘good girl’ he murmured right after, and even such—humiliated to all accords, his praise did none but cause you to feel butterflies right there.

And just there you also hated how his slaps could provide you the pleasure you hadn’t been able to. 

The same cycle went on, remaining 9 spanks hit hard as before— a grab and squeeze offered in the midst of each, a smooth hand too - as he touched you everywhere - everywhere except where you wanted him most. 

“So fucking pretty,” he muttered, leaning down to kiss one of your reddened cheeks—warm to his lips as his other hand smacked onto the other cheek. 

“Spread your legs further,” and you did, afraid to upset him anymore. 

And all to your surprise, suddenly you felt a finger probe your pussy lips—beyond ashamed you could help the weak whimper and desperate cry from escaping.

“Tch tch tch,” another sharp smack on your ass, “So wet? From a spanking?” 

Another whimper as your head only ever lowered in response—“or was it thought of getting off in public, huh?” You could feel his tough hands tease you, he wouldn’t enter, no—just tease your slit for the hell of it. 

“So pathetically turned on f’me,” he groaned—face up right against your gaping hole, inhaling sharply and taking in your scent.

“N-no,” you protested, halted only by another mean slap on your ass—“Don’t lie to the man you worship,” another nod, he’d already broken you. 

The pretend disappointment was sheerly evident in his voice—his expressions, “Well I cannot really move further until you’re punished thoroughly darling,” his words sounded almost calming, even when you knew they were all so not.

The tip of his fingers were slow, slowly gliding across your glistening pussy—your inner thigh—squelch! 

Eyes wide, a gasp erupted from your mouth as his large palm landed flat against your folds.

“I don’t think it’s your fault however, it’s her issue isn’t it?” Words so sweet, you only ever could think of succumbing to him—finally passing a weak nod.

“Ah ha,” he smiled to himself—impressed perhaps—“That’s a smart girl, now how many do you think are appropriate for her hm?” As he spoke, his fingers wouldn’t be called shy in the way they inspected you—gathering your slick from your hole, never entering enough to please, and leading it up to your asshole—dirty.

A sense of dread coursed through you, involuntarily you tried to turn around to beg him not to—another sharp slap, a sob from you.

“5?” Your voice was soft—and somehow, even in his moments of pure power Suguru couldn’t help but want to be kind to you.

And this time, he hated it. 

“5 it is,” he murmured, pressing his fingers upright to your pussy lips—“Count, no need to thank this time,”

Slowly his hands already your thighs further apart—shame no more a blanket, you could only moan at the shy touches to your core.

His hands stroked your inner thighs slowly—easing you out, you knew the trick of course, and “sh-it,” you spoke as his hand Landed on your pussy.

“One,” you called out meekly, and unlike the slaps he used to redden your ass, these weren’t all so pleasurable. 

Without a word he landed another—your body lurched forward just the slightest—“Two!” Your voice trembled at his touch, especially in the way he dragged his fingers all so close to your clit and then landed the third spank.

“You’re taking it so good sweetheart,” a mess, a sincere mess is all you were—breaking apart at his touch and words- all so unsure of how you felt. 

The last two Spanks were a blur, broken sobs eliciting your throat at them too as finally Suguru caressed your hips— held it soft, smothered it with slight kisses—as if he cared. 

He graciously didn’t mention the way his fingers were so covered in slick, didn’t mention how he wasted not a single second before licking each one clean - not wanting to let go a single drop. He also didn’t mention the way you gasped as he pressed his lips to your pussy - your folds, kissing them so softly you shuddered.

“Think you deserve a reward now, monkey?” A whine escaped you at the reference to the animal he deemed everyone else as—and yet another “Yes please,”

You knew better than to hope he’d have pleased you but all how it went, you could help the slight disappointment in you when he sat across you—spreading his legs.

An amused chuckle he let out at your expressions—“You really didn’t think I’d touch a used up pussy as yours eh?” 

He would—oh how he desperately wanted to—your eyes remained down cast in your obliviousness.

“C’mere be a good slut and get me off,” hesitant was the way you crawled over to him nestling yourself  between his legs—hesitant, yes but eager all the more.

And just the same his other followers felt engulfed by the need to please him.

Fingers fumbled with his belt for a second before a raised brow from him stopped you—“did I tell you to take it off?”

Your breath hitched- confused you gazed up to meet an annoyed expression, “Do only as much as you’re told to, don’t true that pretty mind of yours.” 

All the encouragement you needed as you slowly raised your face up to his crotch—“Go on,” he murmured, placing his hand at the back of your head—and just so you found your face pressed hard against his crotch, taking in the musky smell— your eyes watered with the pressure he held you with, your pussy grew wetter with the avoidance he lay. 

Soft whines you let out against the thin fabric of his underpants as your fingers gripped onto his toned thighs. 

You could feel the thick outline of his dick—not that you lay experienced much but that would certainly be big as it went.

His hand stroked your hair softly and pulled you away too—“pull them down,” he ordered and fervently your fingers pulled the waist of the only fabric covering him down—his hardened dick spring out at once.

You fought all urges to touch it at once—looking right into his eyes, awaiting any command. 

“Good girl,” he groaned as he shifted his hips to angle himself better—“Tongue out,” he muttered softly, staring at your face.

Adorable to him.

On your knees you sat, tongue out and mouth wide as you watched him drag the tip of his cock and slap it against your cheeks twice—demeaning you usually would’ve found it—now you craved it dearly.

Three slaps he lay on your tongue from his tip still—plap! Plap! Plap!— salty it tasted, his Precum.

“Take it all in,” none to your surprise, you were quick to try your best—you know you couldn’t, but to try was the way to go.

“Don’t suck just yet,” he commanded, as his dick lay inside the warmth of your mouth—you wanted to gag immediately, pull away.

“Keep it there,” he whispered, the large hand grabbed at the back of your throat, keeping you from pulling away.

Tears were quick to rush down your cheeks as you struggled to gag—the slight pull and an annoyed glare from him.

All too quick he pulled out of your mouth. 

“Don’t fucking pull away,” a warning, “cry all you want—fucking throw up from gagging I don’t care, but don’t pull away,” you nodded through your tears as you took a second to catch your breath.

“Again,” he said and again, you began.

It was tough to breathe, yes, and hard not to pull away but a look at his blissful face and you couldn’t help it—“start sucking, slow,” 

And that you did, tears dried as more came a afresh, you sucked slowly onto his tip and length—weak whimpers seemed guttural as you rocked your face back and forth onto his length.

“You know why- ha- ah,” he paused, moaning, as you teased him slight, “I let you do this?”

His eyes scanned your pretty face, sucking him all so good—trying your best to please him.

“So you remember that mine is the hand that feeds you,” just then his hands balled up your hair into a fist, rough, he pulled you.

“So you- shit…Suckin’ me like the slut you are doll?” Broken gasps he let out as well as he pushed his length down your throat.

As much as you hated him having the reigns, to see him lose composure was a beautiful process. 

“That feels so fucking good — ah-! ah — I'm not pleased with you fuck j-just can't believe how good it feels to — fuck — ahhhuh — yeah that's a perfect little slut, just take  your god’s cock like you're meant to."

You couldn’t see from down there, his eyes rolling back but you knew it was tough for him to sit still—god how you loved it. 

“Listen darling,” he began yet again—his fist was quick to pull your face away from his cock, all to yours and his displeasure.

He held you by the hair—a string of spit connecting your lips to his cock hung loosely.

“Always fucking remember that you’re the one begging to be fed by me—not the other fucking way around,” you wanted to nod but all that let out was small whines - no longer caring about feeding his ego.

The cards were dealt perfectly - you  just had to play them right.

“Geto-Sama, please,” you cried, “pleasepleaseplease let me- fuck- let me help. Want you to- to mark me? Please, will you?”

Suguru fought hard to suppress the moan he wanted out—he hated that he loved seeing you this way—he hated how he wanted to see you such everyday. 

He hated how for the past almost three years he’d wanted this, how he wanted to loved you. 

Oh how he loved being so silly.

And just as that his length was shoved deep into your mouth again—and internal conflict in his mind as he face fucked you —he just wanted you carnally and you, him.

Not long did it take before you knew he was close. 

“Stay right there, fuck — oh my god I'm close. I'm so fucking close. Gonna fill up that mouth, stuff it so good not a drop spills out.”

And at that, without another word he came inside—a warm gush in your mouth as you struggled to keep it all in—to please him—hot and sticky as he slowly pulled out of your mouth.

“So pretty,” he murmured as his fingers tapped your cheek—hinting at you to swallow it all.

-

Suguru watched as your tired body panted and lay still on his form—head resting against his thigh.

A soft hand brushed through your hair, a gentle smile as he wrapped the Yakuta around your naked body.

In hindsight, maybe he would regret it—but in the present of this entirely, he loved it.

He loved you.

Two months, suguru’s heart had churned—perhaps more than yours—to have you lay against him for the past two years was no issue, not until he knew your heart was opening up to him.

And something in him fought him to have you now that, that was a bad idea.

He realized now that, that something was all too stupid a thought—especially when he could now carry your body softly, pressed up against his chest as he Carried you to the shared chambers, his chambers. 

Oh how he loved you being his - without complaint now.

A monkey—his mind called out, the woman I will love, his heart snapped back.

It had to be a promise - it didn’t flow out so easy, that love - as compared to his disdain for non-sorcerers, his disdain for your disgusting father even more.

He hated how he saw profit within you he hated how his heart sought a shrine within too, he wanted you but only if you wanted him.

It was confusing, to him and you and everyone around—that he was all so enamored by you—nothing more of than the daughter of his hitsman you were, skilled to fill that spot yourself, but it wouldn’t add up.

He couldn’t possibly have you work so much - but then, he just didn’t know how else to make you happy.

And even that, sadly only made you breakdown further.

But now, as he’d look at the serene expression on your face as you slept -everything senseless would fall back—as he fell in love a little more when your fingers clasped onto his when he was  pulling away. 

~now~

Day and night.

Slowly they passed.

The first year, then the second and then third—all the way to five years and there you sat, right beside him, regal.

Don’t get me wrong, you perhaps still hate him and he despises you too—but it is in the certain way, that every third night you’re clamping down on his form and he holds you softly right after—“I love you” muttered by neither. 

-

He wasn’t sure on to why it was the way it was. 

He hated monkeys, you were one—so equally, he must also hate you—and yet, his heart ached the day your father thrust your hand into his.

He’d seen you before that day still, running about, aloof—you enjoyed your craft—he’d enjoyed seeing you do so. Marriage to him was simply a barrier to your skills—he knew that, and yet not being married to him was a barrier to mayhaps a comfortable life.

Never before Had Suguru pitied monkeys such—and yet, to see the tears roll down your eyes, he felt captivated.

In the way the silence of his halls was dimmed when his daughters would call for you—in the way you unnecessarily commanded his house—as if you held that power.

But then, mostly you did.

In the way you held pillows all too close to yourself to feel some warmth—in the way you used the pillows as a means of a boundary between the two.

In the way you forced yourself to hate him, in the way you whimpered against his touch.

Everything.

And anything. 

All he knew deep down was he wanted you happy, with him and often, without him. 

-

“Do you know this man?” The words rolled off his tongue smooth, you stared intently at the man bowing at your feet.

“No,” words were often simple lies when you stood beside him in that assembly, the man, once referred to as your father, inhaled sharp at your words.

Suguru’s smirk only widened—your mother and sister long gone perhaps, you didn’t know, you didn’t care.

Suguru never let you care.

“He’s committed a crime,” Suguru motioned to the crowd awaiting—“A dire crime,” his eyes now trained upon you—“And as always, our goddess here will help us get rid of it, yes?”

Not the first time you’d been asked—three  years ago, the first time you’d killed in that assembly, you’d committed and since then, that’s how Suguru used you - made his promises of love to you.

The best hitsman he had, his prized one.

His hand wound around you softly, a creep to your abdomen—“wanna play a game?” 

The blood inside you rushed—it didn’t matter.

None of it.

You’d killed plenty of monkeys now - under his command, your morality had shifted.

What had seemed criminal then…now just a command, now just a shrug.

Suguru adored you simply as you did and you did too—but today was different.

Today, stood in front of you, a true criminal. 

Blood of monkeys never bothered you—you were their deity, Suguru had reminded you every time you cried, you told him of your dilemma—they were honored to die at your hands, he’d remind you.

In the 5 years, things had changed drastically indeed - Suguru was still a fraud, you no longer cared, you were still a monkey, he no longer cared.

Especially not when he held you at night - reminding you that he did love you, sometimes through whispered words that made you giggle, and sometimes through undulating sex - something both of you had sought undesirable in the beginning.

-

The wood that surrounded you was thick—beautiful really, especially for a game of hide-and-seek. 

A shove he passed to your father, rough—“Run,” he ordered, dark eyes softening as they landed upon you.

“Kill him in 2 hours and I’ll let you take over tonight,” a smile sketched onto your lips—“and if not…” a similar smile etched onto his. 

And then this was all, a man so irrelevant as your father, he ran as you toyed with him, brought down to a reward from Suguru for you.

-

“Suguru?” you often called out now, pressed to his side - a hum he’d pass - annoyed slightly, you talked much now, often when he tried to sleep.

You don’t ask him silly things now - you used to when the new shift had come - when he began holding you, when he’d begun showing care - “do you love me now?” was one of the first few ones.

You’d laid in his side - another first, he’d scoffed momentarily, “you think i would feed you soup if i didn’t?”

You’d giggled then, his heart melted as he held out another spoonful, “maybe you just want your hitsman all healthy and fine, since i’m such huge entertainment, before and after..”

He laughed along then, slight concern when your laugh turned to a cough - a huge way you’d come together, “shut up and heal,”

“Answer me,” you pressed, another shift was your tone - no longer subdued when nervous, often times teasing and sarcastic - he loved it.

“I do love you,” he’d mumbled for the first time - you’d only giggled, “i knew it.”

You had found, you loved proving yourself right to him, regardless of much he did hate being corrected and proven wrong.

And he loved it too.

(this is...not smn i'm sure of, it's just how their sex dynamics are now lol)

Another hunt took place - some woman who’d promised him thousands of money and then tried sabotaging his business - she had been quick, a good hunt indeed.

But now you lay all spent yourself.

Legs sprawled beside his head—your fingers clutched hard onto the sheet beneath.

“Suguru,” your voice drew out—a whine, “Please…” you cried out softly as his tongue lapped onto your clit.

“Please what darling?” A sharp slap landed on your inner thigh—another whine.

“I was just 7 minutes late,” your dirtied clothes lay away forgotten—the neat white towels he’d used to wipe the blood off of you—used to cleanse and purify you again lay just beside his head as you tugged on hair harshly.

A soft giggle he let out—“7 minutes too late doll- you knew the punishment right? Let me edge you thrice more now, be a good pet.”

And another giggle he passed, eliciting a sharp cry of his name when he pressed his tongue flat on your clit.

And Suguru loved this, so Did you.

Your god and his goddess.

All of this work is original and entirely my own please refrain from copying or reposting.

Likes and Reblogs highly appreciated!

[2-dsimp]

Off topic, when I read about Neinov the Toon, my first thoughts came to a game called Amanda the Adventurer. Idk why 😭

Anyway, are your plans would be Neinov coming to the real world, or Neinov dragging mc back to his world? 🤔

•:•.•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•

Yandere! Toon x Reader

•:•.•:•.••:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:

Synopsis: your past mistake from your old childhood days has come back to haunt you.

Cw: attempted kidnapping, obsessive, controlling possessive behavior, mentions of stalking, Neinov being delusional, non-consensual,

•:•.•:•.••:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:

“My partner! It’s you? Is it really you?”

A warbled voice addressed you, from beyond the fragile veil of where your reality clashed with the imaginary world of Cartoonz. A realm that was too warped beyond real life’s comprehension.

What the fuck was going on? All you did was turn on the damned tv to watch some classic cartoons. The one time your father left the remote out in plain sight.

You took a chance to sift through some channels, you were grown damnit! And yet he was still being such a helicopter parent. All because of an stupid accident you couldn’t remember for the life of you, that happened when you were a child.

“P-partner? What the hell? What is this? Who are you?!”

“Hey hey heyyy aren’t you being too cold? I’m Neinov your partner in crime, for life or death~ We used no—we are the best of buddies and more hehe!”

Your blood ran cold at the chipper response coming straight from the entity before you. Fingers desperately fiddling with the remote to turn off the malfunctioning tv.

As multiple gloved comical hands began pushing at the frame, trying merge out of the screen. Making the stand rock from the force of whatever thing was trying to come out. Suddenly, you heard your phone ringing, the set of rapid texts coming from your stern father.

≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒

★《You stupid child! What have you done?!》

≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒

≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒

★《I said you were forbidden from watching the TV! Quickly, pull the plug!》

≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒

≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒

★《Don’t let it crossover— it can’t—Die》

≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒ ≒≒

The phone, sputtered its battery suddenly drained to 0% shutting down completely.

“Ugh that vile monster, I mean your pops is still so persistent after all these years! Its unfortunate to leave him be for now, but savin you comes first!”

Neinov whistled flippantly, his gloved hands breached through the screen. But His face was still smushed against it. Rabid eyes wide with glee staring at you obsessively. His jagged teeth grinning widely at you. That motherfucker even threw a cheesy wink your way. As if this home invasion was a normal thing.

“Saving me? What are you even talking about?! This can’t be real it’s gotta be a prank!”

You’d sputter, trying to make yourself feel good with a white lie. but you knew better, those goosebumps upon your arm told you that you weren’t dreaming.

This felt to real to be a dream. So you scrambled to do something—anything. But did you want to risk getting snatched up by the now free roaming hands. Coming from the tv just to pull the plug? Or maybe breaking the screen would be better? The question is how? You didn’t have a damned hammer or brick on hand.

You didn’t take your father seriously when he warned you to stay away from tv screens. Especially during certain times at night.

You always thought it was some kind of boogeyman type scare tactic so you’d focus on school rather than goofing off online. But now you were at a loss, you were home alone, with a thing calling you its partner in crime.

All this overthinking wasn’t good for your anxiety. You weren’t the type to do well under pressure anyways so the best option that your body decided upon was to flee.

But in hindsight, you did recognize the Toon’s voice it sounded so familiar yet so distant from time. It carried a heavy twang like in those old 90s cartoons. However, seeing you try to escape the voice turned deranged.

“Ah aha oh You silly goose! Where the f*#% do you think you’re going? And my gosh how is this stupid censor not removed yet?!”

The toon’s colorful curses were censored with a bleeps and dolphin noises, as you were rendered immobile.

“I found you… All these years I’ve spent searching for you like a pin inna haystack. And now you’re right in front of me!”

Struggling, You desperately pulled and pulled only to remain where you once were.

“Hey I’m saving you right now, so you should be happy! And jump into my arms greetin me with a big ole a hug and a smooch! Cuz I’m your hero baby!”

Looking down that same gloved hand big enough to encompass your waist. Had a vice grip on your ankle, it tightened and with a sharp yank, you collapsed to the ground.

“Oh I get it you wanna get all glammed up for ya boy. But Yknow you don’t need any makeup, I like ya just the way you are babycakes!”

You started getting rug burn from being dragged across the carpet. By his noodle arms that acted like a sticky hand rope.

“So there’s no need to be shy! After all I’m bringing you back home! Where you belong.”

You were scratching, clawing with all your might to stay tethered to the floor. Neinov, merely found you to be playing hard to get. As he laughed in a bubbly manner, licking his lips as he finally pushed his head through the screen’s threshold. To be in the same space as his precious partner.

“Listen I know we’ve been separated for far too long huh? But Don’t worry! I’ll make you remember all the fun times we spent together just like the good ole days!”

———————————————————————-

A/n: nothing like some good cartoonish love 🤧

[tired-reader-writer]

Thinking about Wolfsong. I initially had Narsus only find out about the whole Gorgan fiasco after canon events start but recently, I've been kinda reconsidering it. Here is a dump of my thought process in no particular order:

So Narsus likely got the court position pretty soon after the whole Three Kingdoms Alliance thing

Shapur is likely involved in repelling said invasion because 1) Andragoras summoned pretty much almost anyone, and 2) it's coming from the east and his lands are in the northeast, Andragoras might want to mobilize the troops to... Peshawar, perhaps? Before the invading troops can penetrate too deep into the country. Many lords were called, yes, but someone like Shapur, whose domain borders Turk, could possibly be doubly expected to respond since this concerns his region. Just food for thought.

I'm not sure about Narsus' timeline in several parts. How long before the TKA was it that Teos died and Narsus became the new lord of Daylam? Was it then that he freed his slaves? Or was it after the TKA ordeal?

He pretty much self-exiled in Pars era 317, so at MOST he would've had two years. Did he live full-time in the capital? Did he ever return to Daylam, even if just briefly? The Daylami seemed pretty familiar with him.

Now that I think about it, Narsus and his mother (I need to name the lady) were kicked out by Teos' main wife and then were accepted back when the wife passed away some time before Teos' death, so maybe he got more time in Daylam than I thought. The problem is that I forgot when he and his mother were accepted back?

Anyways, this opportunity for an encounter between the two kinda offers me the opportunity to have them meet each other early. I am still contemplating what to do with it. Especially since a couple of the enslaved folk Narsus freed could end up in Gorgan's orbit.

There's no way the Gorgan folk could know about Narsus' abolitionist ideals until Narsus pulls that stunt of freeing all his slaves (I assume it happened in Daylam rather than the capital), I mean there's a small possibility that they might know vaguely but it's more likely that they straight up won't know until Narsus does the societal equivalent of kicking down the door and blasting a horn far and wide. There's also very little possibility of Narsus knowing unless Gorgan reaches out to him first— what with their operation being so hush-hush and crucially under wraps because of the Mardi's caution— and they wouldn't reach out before knowing that Narsus is trustworthy.

But after? Could Shapur possibly reach out? Maybe he would want his children to have an ally he knows can be trusted so they won't be so alone against the world. Would it even be Shapur who reaches out? Would it be Sadiq who advises Shapur to do so? Would it make sense for them to see a potential friend and ally and not take the opportunity, especially when Shapur has already cut ties with his relatives over the Isfan debacle and the region can't exactly trust other nobles willy-nilly. I don't know.

In the scenario that he does reach out and they do end up connecting with each other, what can I do with it? Narsus probably got the court position in 315, in my timeline I put down that Shapur becomes a marzban in 316 (age 32), after some ambiguous campaign that he was called to be part of, so he would have to go to the capital again. I did not find anything significant in the novel timeline in the year 316, so I wouldn't know what the occasion is. But in the hypothetical scenario that they're acquainted with each other by this point, what interesting thing can I do with how they view the capital? Does Narsus ever get to return to Daylam during his time as a court advisor of sorts? What could he do with this?

I have something vague pinned down for after when canon starts, where the Mardi folk (esp Khazān and Arslan? not sure yet) help Daylam defend against Lusitanians and encountering Irina and her crew + Kubard and Merlaine and things rolling from there— could that aid be rooted in a friendship established before that point?

Coordinating trade and stuff between the two regions could be pretty difficult if Narsus isn't there to manage the process, though. So I'm still not sure how it all works out.

In the scenario that there is a connection between Gorgan and Daylam, could Narsus possibly go back to Daylam after his exile instead of going to live on Mt. Bashur in isolation? Because even if somebody else warns him to be careful, I don't think it's possible for Narsus to stay quiet about the corruption and injustices in the capital and eventually he'd snap and get fed up and leave when his concerns go ignored.

I'm... still not sure what would happen after he goes back to Daylam (if he does) or why I'm contemplating this whole situation in the first place BUT here I am, pondering and contemplating anyways.

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Goku + Vegeta when their spouse is away on a work trip headcanons

warnings: established relationship, husband/wife, fem!reader is taking Chi-Chi and Bulma's place as the Saiyan’s significant other in each separate, respective scenario.

If this does make you feel comfortable, please hit the back 'button' on your phone or laptop and do not leave any mean comments. This blog is a safe space for everyone to share their thoughts and enjoy fics.

Special thanks to @actuallysaiyan for being my beta-reader and cheerleader, this piece wouldn’t have been possible without her.

I would love to hear feedback on these types of scenarios for Dragonball/Dragonball Z and if I should continue them or what I should try writing next~!

divider by @cafekitsune

Son Goku

Goku would definitely be excited to have the house all to himself for an entire week because that meant he got to spend more time training to get stronger! Your sons would also be home while you’re gone on this business trip, so that’s a bonus right there!

As much as he loves to fight, he would like to make up for the time he had missed seeing Gohan grow up and get to know Goten more. Goku wouldn’t exactly be called the best father, but he had been putting in the effort after the Old Kai had given him another chance at life. He had an inkling just how hard you worked at your job to provide for the family from Gohan, but once you were out of the door? Totally different story.

Goku only knows how to cook simple meals, but he would wait until almost all the food you had meticulously prepared for your departure was almost gone. At least before he walked in the door one evening after a grueling session with Vegeta and he saw Gohan cooking in the kitchen with Goten clinging to his side. Not just what you would you normally eat, but the portions you always dished out that would fill him and the boys up.

Turns out that after he had died and his oldest son defeated Cell, you had developed a new routine in his absence: You would be up first thing in the morning, followed by Gohan, who had early morning classes. He would take care of making lunches while you did breakfast, then wake up Goten. Gohan would fly with Goten to West City to go to school, and you would leave for work. If you left work on time, then you’d come straight home and start cooking dinner. If you had to work a few extra hours, then Gohan would be in charge of the kitchen. Goten would help with setting the table, since he was still too young to do any cooking or handle sharp objects.

Once dinner was served and finished, you would clean up the kitchen while Gohan helped his little brother with homework or getting him ready for bed. Afterwards you would read Goten a bedtime story, then it was lights out for everyone until the next day arrived. Gohan would be an exception to the rule if he wanted to put in a few extra hours of studying.

This routine taught the boys not only how to do chores on their own, but also to be a little more independent. It was actually Piccolo’s idea; the Namekian had helped you with looking after them when they were younger on days when you would be stuck at the office longer than expected when Bulma couldn’t. She already had her hands full as the new president of Capsule Corp and being a mother herself.

You were more than happy to compensate for Piccolo’s time with jugs of high-quality water or a meal. It was no surprise that he became a father-figure to Goten as he had been to Gohan.

Hearing all of this from his oldest son stunned and made Goku’s chest swell with happiness and pride. He had sacrificed himself to save the world from Cell, but it wasn’t until after he arrived in the Other World that he realized he had left you all alone. It couldn’t have been easy, especially after Goten was born, but you all did it. He was very proud of you, and he wished you were here now so he could show you just how much he appreciated you.

But you weren’t here. You wouldn’t be back for another six days. Maybe that’s why it felt sort of lonely to go to sleep that night, noticing how cold your side of the bed was.

By the third or fourth day Goku will be whiny, constantly annoying Vegeta during their training sessions on how much he misses you and wants you to come soon so he could eat your cooking or worse, complains why you had to leave for this trip when you could have stayed home before the Saiyan Prince points out how many times he has left his family alone before promptly kicking Goku out of the gravity room.

On the fifth day, he was more than ready to fly wherever you were and bring you home. Unfortunately, the reason you had suddenly called the house right after dinner was because you wouldn’t be coming home like you had planned. Something unexpected happened with a major project at the office, and the higher-ups put you in charge of damage control. Right now you were looking for another day, maybe two days? You promised to keep him or Gohan updated, but Goku was not happy with the news.

He knows your job is important, but what about your family? Nope. You have already worked enough, someone else can handle the problem! You were coming home in two days, no ifs or buts.

You had better be prepared to get the shock of your life if you decide otherwise, because Goku will use Instant Transmission to be wherever you are and suffocate you with bone-crushing hugs and wet kisses. Don’t worry about the kids, he called Piccolo to watch them until the two of you got back.

Now, please give him some attention~.

Vegeta

Vegeta is an arrogant and stubborn-ass Saiyan, even if everyone else says he’s definitely calmed down a lot after getting married and having Trunks. This guy will never admit how much you have changed his life for the better.

Like Goku, he would be delighted to hear that you are leaving for a weeklong work trip; to him, this means he has more time to focus on getting stronger than being forced to sit with you after dinner to watch a show you liked and cuddle for a bit in bed before it’s lights out. It was also an excellent opportunity to get Trunks in the gravity room. He will not tolerate the idea of Kakarot’s younger son being more powerful than his heir apparent.

He would definitely rely on either the meals you prepared ahead of time because he cannot cook or takeout with the emergency black card you’ve left for them on the counter to use while you are gone. Vegeta is a hazard in the kitchen unless it’s warming up something on the stove and microwave.

Although he is technically a stay-at-home dad, Vegeta would quickly realize just how much you do around the house. Regardless of the extra hours you put in at the office, you had always made sure everything was spotless, there was plenty of food on the table, and spent time with him and Trunks. Vacation days? Used only to take four day family trips together or if you were sick.

On the third day, he wouldn’t spend it training from morning to late afternoon in the gravity room or spar with Kakarot. Instead, he scrubs the house from top to bottom once he’s dropped Trunks off at school; washing the dishes in the sink, throwing out expired foodstuff, and decimating the dust bunnies with the vacuum. Once the last load of laundry is done, he rushes to get his son.

He would make Trunks clean his own room. If it was dirty or didn’t meet his expectations of cleanliness? Extra thirty minutes of training or doing one hundred push-ups would serve as his son’s punishment. He did not raise a lazy son, thank you.

He would be more moody than usual in your absence and not realize until Yamcha or another Z-Fighter pointed it out at a surprise cookout at Capsule Corp held on the fourth day. Vegeta would scowl silently and not say anything, even if he took up Mrs. Brief’s offer to take home any leftovers.

As much as he wanted to use the new Instant Transmission technique and bring you home immediately, his pride prevents from doing so. He is the Prince of Saiyans. He is not a weakling to where he cannot handle you being gone for an entire week.

(He does not take it well when you call him on the day before you are supposed to be back that you need to stay for another day to work on a report for the higher-ups. Trunks had to remind him to breathe and loosen his grip on the phone or he’d break the damned thing)

Expect Vegeta to act like a grumpy and super clingy cat as soon as you walk in the door. He will literally follow you into the bathroom because he does not want to be left alone like that again. Do not even think about denying Vegeta the opportunity to take a bath or shower with him because he will have a hissy fit.

Trunks will have to wait to cuddle with his mother. A prince’s needs come first after all~. 

Taglist: @uninhabitedsworld-18 @nasty-redrum @zvmbieb0y @boonsmoon @mythoswarrior-23 @jadeprouductions @hoodiepandaninja16 @jurikuran86 @vegeta-bananabluish @fanboilingwriter

[thatoneweirddreamer]

The Media Demon: Regress

[Note: I can't believe I'm doing this, @that-hazbin, I partially blame you for this, this is based on your media demon AU. I don't know if I will make another part of this. But for now, let's start with this first.]

Alastor knew that after Adam's last attack on him had given him an injury that would either heal very slowly or kill him if he wasn't careful and slowly start to heal up. But, for some reason, for some god damned reason that he still doesn't understand, he didn't leave the battlefield. He watched from the shadows as everything was happening and just as it seemed that Charlie was about to be killed by Adam from asphyxiation. He stepped in. He made a last-ditch effort to kill Adam and failed.

He attacked Adam from behind from the shadows and while Adam did let Charlie go to counter-attack him. Adam's attack, across his chest much like Adam's first fatal attack against him, but in an opposite manner, did more damage than what he was anticipating. But, for him, that was enough at the very least Charlie will have a chance of defeating or even killing Adam. Before Charlie or Adam could do anything else a blast of holy magic blasted Adam through the hotel roof and straight to the basement level.

'Well, it seems His Royal Shortness has finally arrived,' Alastor thought as his breath became wheezing, his lungs began to fail him as he lay on his back awaiting his second more permanent death to take hold, 'I do hope that they should just kill him, but the Princess wouldn't like that.'

His eyes began to blur as Charlie all, but clambered over to him in a panic, eyes filled with tears soon followed by Vaggie who was panicking, finally, Lucifer descended and immediately began trying to heal him also looking very much panicked and worried. 'Ah,' Alastor thought, 'Don't cry, Mon Faon.' Alastor tried to move his arms to wipe away Charlie's tears, but much like everything else his arms have also failed him.

His eyes trailed over Vaggie who was both trying to comfort Charlie and not cry and panic seeing him dying and then his eyes landed on Lucifer, who was doing his hardest to not look at him in the eye and concentrate on healing him. He used the last of his strength to grab one of Lucifer's hands and tried to drag the hands away from his chest when he grabbed Lucifer's wrist, Lucifer's eyes snapped straight onto him and made eye contact, Alastor could only give him this sort of pained grimace as his eyes held what both he and Lucifer know. He, Alastor, cannot be saved, but Lucifer only shook his head and as Lucifer's hands shook continued to try and heal him.

'This isn't the worst outcome I've thought of for myself, though it would be a shame to leave mon faon without any support, by now, His Majesty should step up, especially with me about to be gone.' From the edge of his eyes, he can see as the darkness slowly but surely consumes his sight. Lucifer's effort will only slow down his ensured death by a few seconds or a minute or 2 at most.

Rather than fighting it, Alastor gave in. Alastor stopped fighting against death and let it take him. Lucifer seemed to panic more and Charlie's cries grew louder as she tried to escape Vaggie's hold, who was also crying. Charlie was trying to get to Alastor to hug him. That was the last thing he saw before everything turned black for him.

______________________________

The first thing he knows is that he can no longer feel any pain, the second thing is that shouldn't he be dead. The final thing he noted was that he felt weak, magically and physically, but simultaneously, he was in perfect health? He finally put in an effort and opened his eyes and saw that he was in the middle of a crater in the middle of the streets in Pentagram City, and the feeling of deja vu. He climbed out of the crater he was in and nearly cursed without anything to cover his foul language. He knew those buildings, he recognised those old decrepit and out-of-date styles anywhere. This was the day he first arrived in hell. He was both thankful to whoever was behind this and cursing them to the high heavens.

[lucidheart3]

An Analysis on how the movie could make the SonAmy dynamic similar to game version without making Movie Sonic and Amy too out of character:

Heyya! If you follow me you maybe saw me screaming about Reverse Sonamy for the fourth movie for ages, and as much as my shipper heart enjoys that, I decided I should also share my more serious hc’s about their relationship.

After Sonic 3 we all know Sonic has more of a little something called ✨TRAUMA✨. So I don’t imagine him taking a liking to Amy (as a friend) immediately . Because if we compare his first reaction to Amy and Shadow, I recall it being ‘Guys wow look at him he is just like me’ for Shadow, And it’s a more serious ‘who are you’ for Amy.

For Shadow, he didn’t take him serious for their first encounter, he was even asking about highlights and stuff when he was chasing Shadow. Because he really believed talking with him could turn him around. Then when they meet him again at the abandoned GUN facility, he tries to give him a wake up call, still believeing that only talking will suffice.I think he is still going with his experience with Knuckles, thinking Shadow got a little mixed up like him. But then, Shadow turns out to be a real threat once he hurts Tom (we know he thought Tom was Walters but Sonic didn’t know that, especially when shadow said he did what he had to). So that’s when Sonic switches up his approach and literally goes for the kill, and that’s what makes the violance really impactful.

Yes in the end they made up and worked together, but that has to elavate his trust issues that he admitted to having earlier in the movie. So, when he sees Amy, who despite saving him also got him flung to the ground by the impact of her hammer, I bet he won’t fall to his mistake with Shadow, and consider her a potential threat too despite her saving him at first. We can actually see it with his first sentence to her, too, it’s a straight up ‘ Who are you’ rather than even an acknowledgement that she is a heghehog like him. I think this actually lays a good baseline to their relationship if they want to keep the usual SonAmy dynamic we see in nearly every media. Because they can make Sonic not appear as ‘excited’ as her without making him look like he isn’t interested in her in the slightest. He’d have a hard time trusting her, therefore he’d have his eyes on her every move, which can make him acknowledge her strength, maybe even faster than others. I imagine him gaining his hope back once he really accepts that she has a good heart. And since he kept her closer because his initial distrust in her to protect his family,I can see their relationship develop fast, especially on Amy’s side.

About Amy, I don’t think she’d be like Sonic in this regard. She will be the Amy we know and love, except that I hc she was the hero of their home planet since Sonic wasn’t there. She helped everyone in need, and that’s how she is portrayed in her first appearence, as a confident heroine.And especially since she looks like she has been chasing the metal army in my opinion instead of trying to find Sonic. If the theory of Ivo being sent to their home planet is true and he actually builds metal there to capture Mobians/ animals to use them as power sources, I can see her stepping up to fight them. And if Robotnik is the one to make Metal Sonic there is no doubt that he’d send them after Sonic, which is proved by the fact that the screen we were shown that said ‘Blue Hedgehog’ when a robot scanned Sonic, then the robot immediately attacked Sonic.

And about how she will be in their dynamic, like I said they can excuse her being a lot more excited to meet Sonic than he is by his trust issues and not that she is a damsel in distress that falls for the hero. Because she is a hero in the movie too, and she is quite confident in herself as we’ve seen from her expression, and she thinks she can manage everything thrown her way like Sonic did before the events of the third movie, therefore she has no problems of warming up to everyone. Like @iwasbored777 mentioned in one post, she must have heard Sonic boast while fighting Metal, and might be thinking he is too cocky. But I think his reluctance towards her especially when he is with the family will pique her interest a lot more. Like, she must have heard the rumors about him, and like Tails said he must have been talked about as ‘a legend’ minutes before he was boasting then when he sees her there is none of that confidence, he is just warry of her. And knowing Amy that will make her a lot more prone too try and win his favor, hence leading them to have their game dynamic without making her obviously fall in love right away.

These were all about my hcs for the platonic side of their relationship. About the romantic side, I can see Sonic falling for her as he sees her ‘giving the world her love’ side. Because this boy has been surrounded by love for a long time now, be it from his parents and brothers, and we have seen him have a hard time to acknowledge that he has all of that, now. He took two movies to call Tom ‘dad’ and he still hasn’t acknowledged that Tails and Knux are his brothers (which we got the definite confirmation of with Tom calling them all ‘siblings’ instead of friends like he did back in the first movie). And ıt amazes him just how easily she loves and shows her love, and is all more stronger for it. While everytime Sonic tries that, his loved ones get hurt. So he is afraid of labels, afraid of showing affection (because he took long to get used to hugs, too). He must feel like he should hide he holds something dear just so the world doesn’t see and decide to take it all away. He still hides himself like Longclaw told him to all those years ago, he has never stopped running. And Amy will make him realise exactly this. Embracing his love for his family and friends won’t make him lose them, because they are all capable of defending themselves especially when they are together with him, and he doesn’t have to run ahead to protect them. I’m so certain we will get a scene about him running ahead and leaving his team behind again, this time to protect them,because this has been a huge theme of sonic 3 and despite apologising and making up,the team didn’t actually resolve the issue.

I think Amy will play a huge role in this because: 1- He and the other boys don’t have a familial bond with her

2- She proved that she can hold her own right when she first met him.

3- We saw Knuckles and Tails try to snap him out of running ahead several times, but since they are family they weren’t really adamant in fear of breaking him further. And they understand why he did what he did pretty quickly because they know how he feels for his family and why he runs forth, they were there to witness majority of his traumas. Amy wasn’t, and that’s why she won’t shy away from reminding him that they are a team, because she won’t be as afraid to lose him even if his reaction will be negative. She will have the same attitude of ‘I can protect myself’ , he did in the beginning of the movie. And she isn’t actually in the team because she needs them in the beginning, but wants to be there.And isn’t this what romantic love really should be? Two equal people that doesn’t need each other to survive but their lives are all more beautiful because they have each other. They aren’t ‘halves’, they are a ‘whole’ that complement and add onto each other.

And about how she will grow to like him, I hc that as she sees the reasons for his first distrust and reluctance and the obvious boasting he does to hide these, that he has so many precious things he almost got taken away from him to protect,she will tone down her excitement.And him trying to protect his loved ones, and actually having the strength to do so, is so impressive to her.And since being a hero would be her whole identity by now, like I’ve seen @ficsinhistory suggest (for a different but cool reason) she would be self-sacrifical. Because I’m guessing she didn’t really have anyone to love, and she shows her love for the world through heroic deets. And thinks she is nothing without that. As opposed to Sonic who only started trying to play hero after Tom and Maddie took him in. His need for love was achieved through his new family, but Amy’s never was, so she filled that void by trying to protect, so that people love her. Sonic wanted to be a hero, while Amy desperately needed it

I hope this isn’t so disorganized I am just typing every thought that comes to mind!

I’d love to hear your thought on this.

[serenaoffaerun]

Declaration

So one author says to another author, "Please can I have a public love confession from Gale? 🥰" Then this THIRD author says, "Ooh, I have an idea, I want to get in on that." The FIRST two authors say, "BET. DO IT." (or something to that effect).

I'm the third author, it me. 😆 Big thanks to @astarioffsimpmain for letting me also yoink the prompt they got from @senualothbrok! You can read the original response by clicking here!

So. My version: Tags/CWs (CONTAINS SPOILERS): Canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort, angst/comfort, temporary OC death, Mystra mentioned, Gale needs a hug, Gale self-esteem issues, mentions of pining, kissing

Rating: Teen and Up

Words: 1,669 (nice)

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63491047

Screenshot is from my gameplay. Please do not use without permission.

Declaration

Time slowed to a crawl. The only sound in the air was the snap of her neck as Gale’s whole world shattered. He couldn’t even hear the sound of his own screams as he saw the light leave her eyes. 

Her beautiful eyes. Bluer than the clearest tides of Waterdeep. The eyes that he’d sworn he could see his future in. A future that, before this series of unfortunate events, didn’t even exist, as far as he was concerned. 

And now the spark in those eyes was gone. A bright light, extinguished. A light that had shone out of the darkness of his own making and revealed new possibilities for him. 

He could almost feel her lungs empty for the last time as the hulking Orthon tossed her body over the cliff. The lungs that, with her very words, had breathed life into his dying body and given him hope. Hope that made him realize his pitiful obsession for Mystra wasn’t love. It didn’t come anywhere close to love. 

Love was the sound of her laughter around the campfire at night. Love was the warmth of her smile when their eyes found each other after battle. The ache in his heart as he went to bed alone, night after night, with only his thoughts of her to give him comfort. The anticipation of seeing her recovering after a fight, sweaty and tired, yet victorious and radiant.

And now the embodiment of that love was slipping away into the abyss before he'd even had a chance to declare it to her. 

His feet had been rooted to the floor out of sheer panic. Yurgir was looking straight at him, huffing a smug laugh. But out of the corner of his eye, Gale saw a flash of metal and knew Astarion was sprinting up to the Orthon while he was distracted, a sword in each hand. As they pierced the Fiend’s ribs, Karlach entered Gale’s field of view, launching through the air, roaring like an enraged beast, greataxe arcing above her head. Gale took off without another thought, diving off the cliff after Serena’s lifeless body. 

He would not give up so easily. 

It was a long, long way to the bottom, but he knew he had to hurry. Streamlining his body, he fired off Misty Step after Misty Step and caught up to her. Reaching against the wind and pulling her body in close, he quickly cast Fly and reversed their direction. 

While they were ascending, his eyes frantically scanned her body for signs of life. A twitch, a breath, a blink, anything. But there was nothing. Even as he laid her broken body on the floor below the platform of the Orthon, who was now gasping his own gurgling, bloody, final breaths, he leaned his head to her mouth to try to catch even the slightest movement of air. Still, nothing.

“No, no, nonononono, NO!!!” he wailed. His breathing became ragged and his voice strained. “I CANNOT, I WILL NOT lose you, especially before I even,... Before I…” Sobs started to wrack his body as his voice gave out. Kneeling beside her, he pulled her up to his chest, holding her waist with one hand and bunching his fist into her hair with the other. The warmth was already draining from her body. Her skin was pale; there was no sign of the beautifully flushed, rosy color in her cheeks.  

Gale’s head was buried in her hair, and his voice seemed so small when he cried out, “Somebody, please, anybody…” He picked up his head, looked around, took a big breath, and screamed, “A RESURRECTION SCROLL, SOMEBODY!!” In an instant, Astarion and Karlach came sliding down a giant boulder from the level above. The rogue was fumbling in his cloak pocket when he breathlessly said, “I’ve got one right here. Step back.”

Karlach dropped her axe and sank to her knees across Serena’s body from Gale. “Oh, soldier…” she sighed. Her heart broke for Gale. She’d been his confidant in the evenings when he didn’t know what to do about his growing affections for Serena. The nights he’d spent pining and worrying over her had become consistent in the last couple of tendays. Karlach knew he’d been planning to talk to her soon, but had kept putting it off out of anxiety for fear of rejection. Gale’s excuse had been that he was unworthy of her affections, and would rather have her in his life as a friend over nothing at all. But the fiery barbarian knew the unquenchable flames of love when she saw it, and told him to just buck up and do something about it. Ideally before he lost his chance, which might now be the case. 

Seeing the desperation on his face and hearing the heartbreak in his voice was tearing her apart. Putting a hand on his shoulder, she gently said, “She’s going to be alright, Gale. Let’s get up and let Astarion work, yeah?”

Gale hiccuped and shook his head, clutching Serena closer to his own body. “No… Don’t you see?” He looked up at his two companions with puffy, bloodshot eyes, practically screaming, “This is my punishment. This is my punishment for defying Mystra and not blowing up the Elder Brain when I had the chance. This is all my fault.” He dropped his head and sobbed another couple of times before continuing, “I never even told her, I’m such a godsdamned fool… I finally found the love of my life, a reason for fighting, a reason for living, the only spark of joy I’ve found in the last miserable year. And I never had the courage to tell her. Of course Mystra would take her from me. I don’t deserve her.” 

“GALE,” Astarion snapped. “By the Nine Hells, stop your wallowing and put. her. down. I can’t bring her back unless you give me some room!” Karlach stood up and gently pried the broken wizard from Serena’s lifeless body, getting him to his feet and holding him up as he tried to stay standing. 

“Vis medicatrix,” the elf proclaimed, scroll in hand. A wave of blue magic circled Serena’s body and lifted her in the air. Nobody dared breathe while the spell took effect. The very air around them felt charged, and Gale’s eyes widened with hope. The sound of broken bones cracking back into place almost made him sick, but he couldn’t look away. Color returned to her face, and her body was gently lowered back down by the healing strands of magic. Gale pulled out of Karlach’s arms and fell back on his knees by Serena's side.

Taking one of her hands in his while cradling the back of her head with another, he begged for all to hear, “Serena, please… Please, My Love, open your eyes. Come back to me, sweetheart, I can’t do this without you.” Bringing the hand that was holding hers up to her cheek and brushing the hair out of her eyes, he pleaded, “I’m so sorry, Love… So sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I was so afraid to lose you. I can’t be without you…”

Serena’s eyelashes fluttered and she gasped in the first of her new breaths. She was still trying to open her eyes, but Gale could make out a very weak attempt to say her name. “Ga…Gale?” she whispered. 

“I’m right here, dearest,” he said soothingly, still caressing her hair and holding her head up off the ground. “I’m here, and I love you. I LOVE you, Serena, and I’ll tell you a thousand, million times more.” 

Her eyes were very open now. It didn’t take her long to piece together what he was saying, as if she’d been waiting to hear it all of her life. He’d taken a deep breath, then went on, “I’m so sorry I was too scared before, but I don’t want to be in a world where you’re not by my side.” Tears slid down his cheeks as he kept going, “You brought me back from the edge in my darkest moments, and here I couldn’t save you from being thrown off of one.” Gale shook his head but continued, “I will spend the rest of my life keeping you in safety and showing you all the love and care you deserve, and more. Just please, please don’t leave me again, I can’t handle it…” His face crumpled as he bowed his head to his chest. Even though he tried to pull himself together, his shoulders shook as the weight of their close call clawed its way deeper into his chest, even deeper than the orb itself.

The next thing he knew, her delicate fingers were brushing the hair away from his face while she whispered, “My sweet, Gale…” Gale sniffled and nuzzled his head into her hand.  

“Serena…” he breathed in awe.

“Gale, look at me.” Lip trembling, he opened his eyes and looked at her longingly. “You did save me. In so many ways,” she said, her voice gaining strength.

She coughed, still trying to stabilize her breathing after her brush with death. Serena pulled his face down to hers, just inches away. “You’ve saved me in ways you don’t even know. I love you, too, and I want to be with you, always.” Tears were filling her eyes now, but both of them were grinning with so much brightness, they could rival the sun.

Gale let out a small laugh of relief as he leaned in and kissed her so, so tenderly. They both felt like they were coming back to life even stronger than they were before the day started. That's when they heard two contented sighs above them. 

Halting their first kiss much too soon, they both slowly looked up and saw Karlach and Astarion standing above them, holding both of each others’ hands, their heads leaning in together, grinning like they’ve just witnessed the most beautiful love story ever told. 

Perhaps they had done just that!

[therocketeer0501]

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Reader (Mech Pilot AU)

Author note: Hey everyone just for this chapter I wanna explain that in this universe scanning a spark signature can reveal a designation. If you have any other questions send me an ask. Enjoy!

Chapter 8:

Your optics come online and you sit straight up at the sound of your designation. How did he get ahold of this information? The Autobots had been so careful not to let any information slip about the secret project Dr. Antonov had been working on. Humans weren’t even involved in the conflict until a cycle ago when they were called upon to deal with an actual Decepticon on the surface. You narrow your optics at him as he smiles at you in a sadistic way. Chuckling he turns and addresses the drones stationed outside the door.

“Restrain the prisoner I wish to speak to them unobstructed by this.”

He waves a servo at the humming energy wall that separates you. At that you sit up ready to fight, but your servo immediately goes to your forehelm as dizziness overcomes you. you had taken the Energon, so why were you still struggling? Sifting through the error messages you can’t make sense of the situation. You hadn’t been poisoned or drugged so what was the issue? One message though sends alarm jangling through you. ‘Unable to disconnect. Disconnection unavailable.’ What on earth could that mean? You hadn’t even noticed the approaching drones or heard the energy field disengage. They wrenched your servo from your helm and had you in cuffs before you could react. Something was off with your connection and you didn’t like it.

Looking back up at Starscream where he was stepping inside your cell, he looms over you. Wings flared out and bent over slightly to keep his helm from bumping against the ceiling. Clearly this cell was made for much smaller bots. You sit on the bench restrained at the wrists but nothing more. They were underestimating you again. That or they knew more about your current status than they were letting on. You vent and meet his optics. There was no choice but to talk to him. You let your helm lean back against the wall behind you but don’t break contact with his optics.

“Alright. I’ll speak with you. I cannot promise answers to everything and for that you might have to take me offline. But I will let you speak.”

He seems surprised for a moment, looking awkward in the cramped space. He shifts on his peds and produces the data pad and speaks once more.

“So it can speak in something other than obscenities. Very well. We were able to obtain very little information about you from our sweep of the digital network here.”

He pauses and his optics flick to your chassis and back up to your faceplate. So he was curious. He was speaking to you like an intelligent being and that was a start at least. Though the tone of his voice suggested he thought of himself as the higher life form here.

“Shockwave was the only mech Megatron wanted interacting with the native life. Unwise in my opinion.”

You raise an optic ridge at him. Why was he telling you all of this? Wasn’t he afraid you were going to use it against them? Of course he didn’t expect you to make it out of here still online. That was most likely the reason. You nod and respond.

“Whatever his reasoning for that is I’m sure it’s monstrous. Especially if it has to do with that mech.”

He looks at you and then back at the data pad.

“As second in command, it’s my job to be an advisor to Megatron in matters of great importance.”

He seems to preen before continuing.

“He however, believes I should have disposed of you. But how is it…that you look exactly like us. Down to our very biology. It’s…”

He doesn’t finish but instead he shakes his helm as if trying to get rid of a stray thought.

“Just what are you?”

His voice a dangerous growl that rumbles through his entire frame as he asks the question. So he thinks you are an abomination of some kind. You look him up and down.

“You are the alien here. You came to my world. So what exactly are you?”

Your tone accusing as you turn the question on him. Of course you knew Cybertronians well and why they were here. For a moment he looks affronted and his wings flick up, tapping the ceiling. You suppress a wave of amusement as he looks for a second like a bird whose feathers had fluffed out in indignation. He sputters for a before replying and regaining his composure.

“I suppose…but that’s beside the point. Here I am talking to what I thought was a very offline Cybertronian femme. Shockwave had torn out your spark. But here you are sitting in front of me as if none of that happened. And that-”

Emphasizing the word Cybertronian as he says it, he lays a digit on the seam that ran down your chest. The very same one that opened to reveal your true self.

“-that is in no way a Cybertronian spark. It’s something different altogether. An abomination.”

The scientist in him became morbidly fascinated with the new scans that had been taken of your form when Knockout and Hook had done the repairs on your frame. Where once a newspark had been detected, there was now a fully developed spark signature. It had a designation assigned to it and everything. An EM field, a scannable signature, it gave all appearance of a Cybertronian spark. But he wasn’t about to tell you that. Something had happened in the aftermath of that broken connection. Something that made his plating crawl in an unpleasant way. He continued to speak.

“Whatever those Autobots are doing is just as unethical as whatever morbid experiments Shockwave is conducting.”

He mumbled and that made you sit up straighter with a snarl as you reply to him.

“Never compare us to the likes of him! You are the bad guys here. You are the reason I was created in the first place. So that Earth had some defense against you. You are the reason Cybertron is ash and you had to come all the way here to find Energon!”

You had taken it too far. In a flash his servo was around your throat lifting you as Megatron had done. He was visibly shaking in anger. His red optics flashed and he bared his denta. Rage barely contained as his wings flicked fitfully behind him.

“You dare! You have no idea what happened on Cybertron! You insect! We tried to save Cybertron and your so called chosen leader doomed it!”

He seemed to take a moment to calm himself as he took a shaky vent and released you. Your optics were wide at his outburst. You swear you could have seen a hint of regret and pain behind his expression. It made you wonder what exactly he meant by what he said.

“What do you mean? Are you saying Optimus doomed Cybertron? That’s not right. He said you bombed it all to slag. Trying to get rid of everyone but those who aligned with your beliefs.”

Starscream looked as if he might have another outburst but instead he just spoke through gritted denta. Leaning forward so his face was barely an inch away from yours. Barely contained rage seeping out of his every word.

“Those deceivers would have you believe they were the spotless victims of this war? What if I told you there wasn’t a war before Optimus Prime became what he is?”

He didn’t get to finish before several drones rush in and the main door to the circular room slides shut. There were distant klaxon to be heard before the noise was abruptly cut off. They hurriedly took defensive positions and Starscream looked around, more annoyed than alarmed.

“What the pit is it now?”

He places a digit on the side of his helm activating his communicator.

“Report. What’s going on out there.”

You couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation but he ducked quickly out of the cell. Throwing a brief ‘stay put.’ over his shoulder at you. The energy field hummed back to life caging you once more in the small room. Whatever it was must be big because there were now eight drones in the room with you.

Still reeling from the conversation you just had, you try to imagine what on earth he could have meant by that. There was no way Optimus Prime started the war on Cybertron. You couldn’t think about that right now. Whatever was happening most likely had to do with the Autobots and that made you smile. It was only a matter of time before they came for you. Their fierce protectiveness of the human race was one thing the Decepticons couldn’t flip around on them.

There was a thunderous crash and rubble bounced off of the energy field as the door to the cell block was blown open. Dust and smoke filled the air and there was shouting. Familiar voices made you stand, that hope filling your lines as you try to see through the smoke. Drones opened fire and were taken down with ease. Two familiar color schemes make their way towards the field. One pair of big worried blue optics stare through the field at you, making you almost sob with relief and recognition. The field drops and a flash of yellow was all you see before you are practically taken off your peds. The yellow mech clinging to you like you might just crumble in his servos. Of course you’d recognize him anywhere.

“Bee! Oh thank goodness!”

[rafesbabygirlx]

Hi angels (this is gonna be long)

I ramble because when I feel big feels I don't think straight, but please read 🤍

I'm posting this now because I just need to get it out. This has been weighing heavily on me. But I doubt anyone will read it hahah

This is really hard for me to say, but after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to wrap up some things I have left, complete some more requests and step back from writing anything new—at least for now.

I’ve been contemplating this for a while, trying to push past the feeling, but I’ve reached a point where I can’t ignore it anymore. Writing has been such a joy for me, and I’ve loved being part of this little community. You all welcomed me with open arms, and I can’t express how much that means to me.

Honestly, I don’t think I’m in the right mental space for it right now. As much as I love creating, I’ve found myself constantly doubting my work, comparing my writing to others and thinking that I can do so much better, and overthinking every detail. It’s a cycle I’ve fallen into on my own, and it’s taken a toll. On top of that, I feel like my blog has lost some of its spark, and my writing isn’t going anywhere and not growing. I’ve also gotten some nasty anons the past few weeks that I ignore but they still haven’t helped with my thoughts. 🫠

With my final semester of college also weighing on me, everything feels like it’s piling up. So, I think I just need a short break. Ew I feel like I sound so insecure. I think I’m just too hard on myself, especially when I get overwhelmed and burnt out.

I feel really guilty stepping away after working so hard to build this space and gaining so much support. The last thing I want is to let anyone down. But right now, this is what I need.

Please stick with me and don't forget me.

That said, I truly love being here, and I don’t think I can stay away for too long. Honestly, I might still post every now and then if I feel inspired. I also won’t be going completely dark - I want to stay engaged and continue supporting the amazing people I’ve met here. I’d love for my moots to keep me updated on their posts, and I’ll still be around to chat.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I really hate that I've gotten to this point. I still have some things I want to complete and then I plan to take some time off from writing. But I will be around. We can still interact. I don't want to completely lose what I have here. 🤍

I want to go through some more requests and I have a couple of parts left of The Pen Pal. I like to finish what I’ve started and I’m committed to that. I'm posting this and I have a couple of drafts ready to post tonight and then going to take a break for a day or 2 after posting this (because I feel awful and I want to avoid it)

I’m hoping that this will bring me some relaxation but I’m also hoping it will bring me some inspiration too. I have a series I’d love to restart and a lovely anon gave me a great idea for a JJ AU I’d love to do at some point. I hope those ideas would excite you just as much too.

I think right now it will just be a couple of weeks off just from writing. To refresh, heal my mind, and finally breathe. I’ve already expressed it slightly in some posts but I’ve been really thinking about it.

I already can’t wait to be back because this community has been so good to me. I appreciate every single one of you. What’s that corny saying? It’s not goodbye it’s see you later? I love you guys, and I’ll make another post when I officially take my break.

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE. IT ALL DOES IN MY HEAD. JUST A LITTLE BAD AT EXPRESSING MYSELF.

I wanna thank everyone who has supported my writings and I LOVE every single one of you.

I also wanna thank some of my moots! You all have helped me incredibly since I've joined. You're all so kind hearted and probably the best group of people I've ever connected with on the internet. I’m still here so please don’t stop tagging me or reaching out, I’ll still support all of you when I’m on a break. Forgive me if I'm forgetting anyone- not really thinking right now. But this goes for all my moots. 🤍

@rafesheaven @cameronsprincess @inthelibrarybtw @littlelamy @leather-n-velvet @writingroom21 @ivysprophecy @maybejj @rafescokewhore @nemesyaaa @rafescvntyclubgf @angelicameron @tanjamikaelson @starkeynation @quinnsbabygirl @frankoceanluvr11 @httpsdrewstarkey @v3n1ce-bxtch @zyafics @whytheylosttheirminds @rafesbuzzcutseason @maybankslover

[st4rnikka]

I loved your fanfic ideas! They are really good. I preferred the Agent GUN AU, I can only imagine people's reactions (especially Rouge) when they find out the truth

YOU LIKED MY IDEAS????!!QKXIK1QOXOOQLZ OMG you people liking my ideas like I'm not some crazy person makes me really happy, THANKS💙!

I'm not writing this fic (just giving the idea to whoever wants to write it) and didn't think much about how the others would react when finding out about Sonic being the GUN agent they were investigating and trying to catch a glimpse of. But I DID thought about them finding it in a very dramatic and super cool way!

Here's how I thought it would be like (forgive me for the way I'm writing I have yet to learn how to write fighting in Sonic style lmao) :

The smell of blood and smoke was everywhere, which was reasonably shocking to everyone present except to a certain cobalt hedgehog, who to both Rouge and Tails confusion and fear, that apparently were the only ones to notice, wasn't wearing his cocky smile when in such dire situations like now, instead Sonic was serious and looked very, very mad.

But looking at Sonic's point of view he wasn't mad at all, he was relaxed and waiting, for what you ask? Well for the GUN agents to appear.

Sonic realized that working as an GUN agent had it's perks, he got to eat as many chilli dogs he wanted, could do super cool stuff like being an spy, could use guns and did he mention the chilli dogs? People in GUN were actually quite nice and respectful, Sonic was not an total idiot and knew the reason was because he had just easily surpassed their best agents in rank in just 2 days, but couldn't care less about it to be honest, the thing was that they would obey his every command -if job related of course - and he made sure to keep that in mind if necessary.

Which was 2 weeks ago before their current situation, with even Shadow having trouble defeating a single badnik.

2 weeks ago during one of his daily missions, he was given the task to invade one of Eggman's many bases and retrieve data from there. But he didn't just retrieve data, deciding to play around a little bit Sonic found something quite concerning that Egghead was planning, something that made Sonic go straight to GUN headquarters to talk to the commander personally about his finding. Both of them had come to an agreement on how to resolve the situation, with Sonic hesitantly agreeing on taking care of this in a quiet manner.

That being said, what did Sonic find? He found an certain experiment that Eggman was working on, a creature with enough power and energy to be used as an battery to strengthen his all his robots to an absurd level. Both Sonic and the commander worked - surprisinly - together to find a way of resolving the problem and 2 weeks after they found a way.

That being said here we are again, all of Sonic's friends tired and hurt from the brutal fight that still continues, until helicopters sounds are heard and the badniks are destroyed one by one easily. Now capable of actually stopping for a moment Rouge, Tails, Shadow, Amy, Knuckles and Omega all look up to find GUN agents helping them with the problem at hand, they were in fact very shocked.

Especially Rouge and Shadow for both of them, weren't aware of GUN knowing about said problem before it even happened. The helicopters land and the agents keep shooting at the badniks, one of them goes to the group, Shadow and Rouge expecting said agent to go talk to them but instead she looks AT SONIC and proceeds to talk to HIM.

"Aeolus, agent Raven reporting to you, the mission was a success, the commander congratulates you for your patience. Also he needs you to take care of the creature that the doctor created." Raven said tensely looking at Sonic mad expression. That is until he smiled happily nodded and responded "Damn he's already giving me more work to do? This old man, thanks for the report Raven, you can go now." His responde was welcomed by a relieved agent Raven that leaved to do her job and a very loud "HUUUUHHH??!!!!!!" from his friends.

Sonic looked at their confused expressions, and Shadow and Rouge very fiery glares and smiled sheepily "YOU'RE AGENT AEOLUS?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???!!!!" Screamed Rouge, she was not having this, months of investigation just to the damn agent she was searching for to be right under her nose. By her side Shadow was staring at him, Sonic swears that if looks could kill he would be dead cause Shadow was looking really mad right now, and Tails too, and Amy and Knuckles....

He was so dead.

That's how I think it would go, also Shadow being mad at Sonic for an entire different reason cause I can a 100% think that Sonic was in fact a suspect of being Aeolus in Rouge list but she had him removed because according to Shadow "Sonic is too dumb to be agent Aeolus, also he would never work with GUN. And Aeolus is skilled, unlike him." with SONIC there hearing everything, my guy admited Sonic had skill without knowing🤣

That's it, hope it was accordinly to your imagination? Sorry for my shitty writing, still have to get better at writing Sonic characters and grow accustomed to some words that are important to Sonic fics💙.

[freydis-freydat]

She stared at his expectant eyes for a few moments knowing that Eivor demanded the satisfaction of an explanation. Freydis wouldn’t deny him one, but she didn’t want to speak before she really considered how much she wished to disclose or how to explain it in a way that would make any sense to him. She wasn’t sure that the latter was possible. The choice hadn’t been an especially rational one. “No, it’s not an Iskaran thing,” she responded quietly, waving her hand as if she could wave the idea away entirely. 

“We fought Vecna and he twisted my intentions against me. I did it to myself. Beyond being useless to my team, I put them in danger,” she explained, the shame in her voice evident, but after a moment it gave way to an undertone of fear. “I was lucky one of them managed to pull me back before the archfey sensed anything, but if she hadn’t… I was a liability, it could have been the death of us all and the key to Vecna finishing his missive.” Her eyes scanned the stacks of books and papers throughout the room. “And I’m not any closer to a plan of how to handle her. None of these books have housed a single useful fact.” She dropped her head, resting her forehead in her hand and closed her eyes tight enough that she saw stars as she tried to bite back fearful tears. 

Freydis watched him put the kit to the side, her hazel eyes tracking its path and not returning to Eivor’s face for several moments while she offered him an explanation she doubted he’d be eager to accept. “Because in some instances I find the pain to be grounding, and in other times I feel like it’s an apt punishment.” She wondered if he might lecture her for this–and she wouldn’t stop him if he did, but she had already been approached by Fharzai and set straight in the dream realm. “I felt I deserved it as punishment, as a reminder. In Iskaldrik, my holmgangs were widely attended. It was a spectacle to watch me fight, but any of my challengers would have killed me if given half the chance. I was upheld by the Huscarl as the first of my station and the weight of confirming his instincts and judgement, and to be a paragon for all women who had dreams of some meaningful station before and after me. My role was to get as many Iskarans to Nornwatch as I could. I was meant to secure the Princess’s safe return from the hells, to defend the Wildlands, Aventia and lead Haven, to defend the Veil, the Cove… It feels like all I am at times is a tool, a sword and shield, hard to kill.” Her voice was quiet as she finished her small list. “I am grateful for what I am capable of, I am proud that others find me dependable. But stripped back like that, made to be useless… Is there anything left of me when all of that is taken away? I let everyone down. And I was… am… ashamed. And so I wanted to punish myself, so I would remember, and so I wouldn’t let it happen again. I know it was foolish.” Eivor had always listened before and had not lashed out, even when she had pressed to hard, but still she could not look at him as her verbalization of her thoughts came to a close. 

“Finding someone or something to cauterize it would likely have been my next step if you were to stitch it up. I keep coming apart in the night,” she conceded quietly. “I can take the pain.”

His blue eyes were sharp, darkened with concern but also a strange sense of annoyance, "So you know it was a mistake to walk around bleeding and wounded because...why? Is this an Iskaran thing about not wanting for the magic that could heal you?" Eivor's assumption was spoken aloud, he couldn't exactly rationalize why she would just turn away when there was magic and perhaps a few bottles or so that would help do what she was now asking him to, stored away in packs. "Why?" The dragon looked suspicious, his palpable concern now outweighed by her request. The medical kit was in his hands, but this was unlike anything that he'd ever done before. He set it down after a few moments of silence, confused as ever. Maybe this was just another thing he was missing from human society – the hard way of doing things.

He turns his palm up, his magic crackling between his hands. "From your fight against Vecna?" He tries to reel in his emotions; he felt things too deeply, bit out words before he could stop them. But as such a dragon always would be. "I can close it with magic; is it pain you wish for? I don't want to hurt you. But I can cauterize it." He wanted to understand – being injured meant death. He could never afford to do something like this.

[karmathehalflander]

The everyone thinks you’re a lesbian but you’re actually just AroAce can’t be an original experience. Has anyone else have this happen to them?