#especially since i'm so close to starting a new semester

[owliellder]

Two's A Crowd

College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.

Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing

Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Tags to be Added

Author's Note: Yay!! New multi-chapter fic in honor of 800 followers!!

I'm a sucker for tropes and mean Leon is one I can't keep out of my head. If you're not good at math then this is the fic for you! (also don't mind me slipping some Sky lore in here...)

Cross-posted onto AO3

Chapter 1

Growing up, college had always been a big dream of yours, leaving you fantasizing day in and out about all the possibilities that would open up, along with actually getting to live through the renowned “college experience”.

In reality, college was a lot harder than you were expecting. Your parents had told you to jump right into it after high school, fearing taking a gap year would ruin your good streak. The stress was starting to get to you and it was only a semester into your freshman year. All the tests, projects, and general studying really wore down on your mental health, not to mention you were failing the one math class you had.

You couldn’t tell your parents, no, they’d probably have a heart attack, especially since that math class was a prerequisite to another class that you needed to take. They were already worried enough that you hadn’t picked a major yet, so who knows how they’d take the news that you were failing right off the bat.

It was hard enough that you were feeling homesick. This was the first time you’d ever been this far away from home, studying at a university when you would’ve been perfectly content going to a community college closer to home. Your roommate was nice, but the two of you weren’t growing any closer than mere acquaintances, so it always felt awkward to just exist in your own dorm room.

Your eating habits worsened with the lack of any real food within five miles of campus. Sure there were a couple fast food chains on the campus itself, but they closed incredibly early. By the time you finished studying, which was around six in the evening, it had already closed. Not to mention that when they were open, the lines were comically long. University food was out of the question after you got violently ill from their “chicken nuggets”, so you were left with the little money your parents provided once a week to order takeout or make quick trips to the store to buy a frozen meal. Only one, since the mini fridge in your dorm was almost always occupied by your roommates stuff.

Everything was so exhausting and you were way out of your comfort zone having to use the community bathrooms for all your hygienic routines. Walking in always made you feel like you were interrupting a meeting in the president’s oval office with how many nasty looks you were given when all you were trying to do was brush your teeth.

The first thing you saw whenever you opened up Canvas was a massive F staring you down from the little box that comprised the majority of your math assignments and tests, making you feel less than worthless. This one semester alone helped you understand why so many people dropped out, this was hard.

By now you’d already gone to your math professor multiple times asking for redos or extra credit work. He was probably sick of seeing you since you showed up after almost every single assignment’s grades were submitted.

“Heeeyyy, Mr. Lebovic..” You said after knocking your knuckle against his open door to grab his attention. “Listen, about that last quiz, I-”

He cut you off with a wave of his hand before gesturing towards one of the chairs sitting in front of his desk. You hurried to sit down, watching nervously as he slowly pulled his eyes off his computer and onto you. “I get it, you don’t need to explain yourself.” His relaxed tone and faint smile was enough to ease your nerves a bit, letting your shoulders slump with a sigh. “You’ve been trying really hard, I can easily recognize that.”

You nodded eagerly, licking your dry lips as you opened your mouth to speak, only to be cut off again. “I’ve been looking into studying options that might help you. Resources are scarce for this material, but I think I finally have a tutor to help you out.” 

A wave of relief washed over you at the mention of tutor. Maybe you wouldn’t have to face the wrath of your parent’s disappointment after all! “Oh.. o-okay…” you stuttered, eyebrows furrowing as you silently beckoned him to continue.

“I teach another math class, it’s higher level, but I have a student in there that’s just taken up tutoring the material you’re learning.” Your professor seemed just as happy as you were about the opportunity. “His name is Leon Kennedy, he’s got one of the study rooms in the library from three to five in the afternoon on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.”

It took you a second to process everything Mr. Lebovic was telling you before you scrambled to pull out a sticky note and a pen to write all the information down on. You heard the older man chuckle softly, looking over at him when he held out a small piece of paper to you. “I wrote it down already for you, don’t worry.” You wished you could’ve thanked him tenfold, but his office hours were closed for the day now, so you said a quick goodbye and hurried back to your dorm, holding onto the piece of paper like a lifeline.

Contrary to what your math professor thinks, you knew the name “Leon Kennedy”. You had a couple friends that you hung out with occasionally out in the grass in front of the science building and they’d brought him up before. The few vague bits of info that you’d heard weren’t flattering, painting this Leon in quite a bad light; the stereotypical jock in a frat flying by on a full-ride scholarship. However, he was your saving grace now and you needed to develop more of an unbiased opinion of him if he was going to help you raise your grade from an F.

“Yeesh, sorry I’m not better at math or I would’ve helped you.” One of your friends, Sky, spoke up as they read the piece of paper your professor gave you yesterday from over your shoulder. “Even if you were better at math, I still wouldn’t trust you.” Ella, your other friend, laughed out.

“Ha ha, yeah, Sky failed math four times. Big whoop.” Sky waved their hands dramatically before walking over to sit down next to Ella in the dead grass. “Seriously though, you’re better off taking a failing grade and dealing with your parents. Kennedy is the devil incarnate.”

“The devil incarnate sounds easier to put up with than my parents, so I’ll take my chances..” You grumbled, taking a seat on a medium-sized rock close to the pair. “Maybe he’s turning a new leaf? Deciding to tutor?” 

Sky crossed her arms and rolled her eyes which made Ella elbow them in the side before giving you a sympathetic smile. “Maybe so, but please just be careful. I don’t want you having to put up with some jackass that has an ego bigger than Texas.” 

You nodded with a slight frown, moving your foot side to side lazily to push the grass blades around. You didn’t even think to consider the repercussions of studying with some random junior. “I’m sure it’ll be alright. Besides, just tell Sky and I if he’s giving you any trouble. I know damn well no man likes to put up with two women yelling in his face.” Sky nodded and pointed to Ella for added dramatics. “Yeah, and I bite. My top six teeth are porcelain so that shit hurts. Trust me.”

Your friends never failed to make you laugh, a slight resolve in a pool full of worries, you suppose. “Don’t worry, you guys’ll be the first to know if Leon is mean.”

“Good. Now, when’re you gonna go see the guy?” Sky rested their arms on their knees before looking up at you. “Uh.. in a couple hours I guess. I already made the appointment.” Your response seemed to surprise both of your friends, giving them a confused look in response to their shocked ones. “Is that.. Is that not a good time?”

“No no, just.. I thought you would’ve maybe taken a little longer to go and see him.” Ella shrugged, reaching a hand up to scratch behind their neck. “Proud of you, taking the initiative like that.” She then looked at her phone before pulling herself off the ground with a small groan. “I got class in a couple minutes. Good luck with the frat boy.” 

She patted your shoulder as she walked off towards the larger building on campus, leaving you and Sky alone for the rest of the time. Part of you wished both of your friends could walk you to the library when the time came, but having Sky was enough. “So.. Leon’s bad bad?” You needed a bit more clarification on the guy you were going to spend one-on-one time with, something to calm you down after running through countless scenarios in your head.

“He’s not all bad, 'least I don't think. I’ve exchanged a few ‘hello’s’ and ‘excuse me’s’ with him here and there since we apparently frequent the same building.” Sky scooted over to the rock you were sitting on, placing the back of their head on your legs. A couple brown leaves blew over from a nearby tree which they grabbed and crunched with their hand. “I haven’t personally experienced any bad happenings around him, but he is part of a pretty notoriously rowdy frat, so you have to promise me that you’ll only study with him on campus and never go to that frat house or any frat house in general, alright?”

Sky pointed up at you, poking the underside of your chin which made you laugh again and swat their hand away. “As much as I rave about wanting to have the stereotypical college experience, going to a frat house was never part of my daydreaming.”

“Good. Keep it that way.” They switched their fingers to give you a quick thumbs up before letting their arm flop down into their lap, eyes closing with a sigh. “Anyways, besides all that, wanna go get some food? I don’t have another class today and you’ve got about an hour and a half to spare, so actually you have no choice. Get up.”

You stood up with a shake of your head once Sky pushed off of your legs who stood up as well with a small stretch. “Don’t burn me at the stake, but I kinda want grocery store sushi. I’m feeling lucky.”

“Please don’t.” You sighed, pocketing the piece of paper before beginning to follow behind Sky as they started to walk across the grass. 

After the two of you shared a sandwich from some random shop not too far off campus, Sky walked with you up to the library, stopping just before the front desk. They agreed to not wander in with you under the condition that you’ll go to their dorm straight after to discuss details.

To say you were nervous was an understatement. Most of what you heard about this guy meant he was bad news, though you really didn’t have much of a choice when it came to seeing him. Like your math professor said, there weren’t a lot of options when it came to studying the material you were learning. Sure you had the internet and other students in the class, but you preferred the idea of a tutor since you’d already exhausted yourself trying to follow along with various youtube videos. You needed the in-person teaching, it just stuck better in your head that way.

Slowly starting to walk, you made your way over to the study rooms lining the back of the library. The rooms seemed pretty private with the only window being on the door, which had glass nearly top to bottom. Thankfully the rooms were numbered and Leon had texted you which room to go to when you made the appointment with him, you had no idea what he looked like and you didn’t want to look like a creep eyeballing people through the door until you hopefully found the right person.

Standing off to the side, you could see the number you were looking for sitting above the door, taking a brief moment to collect yourself and hype yourself up to talk to someone who didn’t have the greatest reputation. Set aside everything you’ve heard and just hope for the best..

You took in a deep breath as you strode over to the door, glancing inside through the window before knocking to let him know you were there. The table was angled off more to the left so you didn’t immediately see him until he leaned over the table to see who had knocked. Confidence left you as soon as you made eye contact with Leon due to the groan you could hear through the door. It took you a couple seconds, but you eventually managed to get your body to work with you, hand turning the handle to let yourself in.

“-the last thing I need..” You caught the end of his little rant to himself as you opened the door. The saying “fake it ‘till you make it” is harder than it sounds since your entire body decided to betray you, deciding that shrinking in was the best move. Quietly, you shuffled over to sit across from him at the table, placing your backpack in your lap in some weird way to provide comfort in this situation.

“You weren’t supposed to show up.” Leon grumbled, sitting far back in the tilted chair as his feet lifted the front end of the chair slightly. His arms were crossed and he was giving you probably the nastiest look you’ve ever seen, next to your parents, of course. All you did was sit there giving him a blank stare. It was obvious what he’d said, yet the sheer forwardness of that snide comment had you more than confused. “What?-”

“You weren’t supposed to show up.” Apparently he felt the need to repeat himself with some added bite, barely letting you get a word in. “No one ever shows up to these shitty tutor- whatever the fucks.”

Wow. Okay. “Uh..” You didn’t even know what to say to that. It completely caught you off guard. You’d run through countless ways this interaction would go in your head, but this wasn’t one of those ways. The two of you sat in a very tense silence with Leon just glaring at you from across the table, continuing to rock back and forth in the chair.

Without uncrossing his arms, Leon lifted a hand and waved it around slightly while shaking his head. “Are you actually still gonna sit here orrr…?” The sound of his voice finally snapped you out of shock, causing you to shoot your gaze down to your backpack, fumbling with its partially broken zipper. “I-.. Mr. Lebovic recommended you..?”

You pulled out a few of your failed assignments from your bag before setting them down on the table with shaky hands, keeping your eyes glued to the papers to avoid that burning stare the man in front of you has. “I need-.. I need help..?”

“Do you?” Leon let the chair fall forward, his sarcastic tone starting to make your whole body tremble. “You don’t sound like you do.” He snatched one of your assignments from the table and held it up, pursing his lips as he studied the various red marks made on it closely. You chose to not respond to that, letting your hands rest on top of your backpack so you had something to squeeze.

He turned the page around, the sound of the paper wobbling the only thing you could hear right after the sound of the central heat blowing through the vent in the room. Suddenly, Leon started chuckling to himself, shaking his head incredulously as he flipped the paper back and forth a couple times before letting it fall back to the table. “This is terrible!” His laugh grew louder as he tilted his body to the side to pull out his phone, taking a picture of the assignments you’d put on the table. 

How on earth were you supposed to react to that other than just sitting quietly? He was actually making fun of you right to your face. Hell, he might as well point and laugh if he’s going to be this brasen. 

The most you could muster up was a quiet yet high-pitched “... huh?” in response to him. This whole ordeal was spiraling a little too fast for you to keep up with. You were expecting to put up with some grown man with a bratty attitude or even just a very uninterested, not all there jock with how Leon’s been described to you, not blatant bullying.

“Huh?” He mocked, taking one last look at his phone while loudly sucking on his teeth before pocketing it again. “Anyways, this is actually sad. How are you managing to fuck simple math up like this?” He roughly grabbed all the papers on the table and stacked them before partially tossing them back at you, some slipping onto the floor. “You’re too far gone, even I can’t fix that.”

You let out a gasp when the papers were tossed at your face, scrambling to catch some of them. Pushing the chair back, you leaned over to grab the few that fell on the floor, desperately holding back tears. “Please, you don’t understand.” You pleaded, voice cracking as you tried your best not to start crying in front of him. “I-I need to pass this class. I’m passing everything else, I just can’t keep up with this one!” You were speed-talking to try and argue your case, sitting back up with the small pile of papers that you struggled to stack properly.

Leon started rocking back in his chair again, arms back across his chest as he watched you with squinted eyes. The corners of his lips soon turned up into a smirk, taking in your sorry state before rolling his eyes with a dramatic groan. “Alright, alright, stop whining, jesus..” He cleared his throat, letting his head fall over the back of the chair. “I’ll help you only because I feel bad for you.” It’s not like he was going to admit that he was being forced to be a tutor, no one needs leverage over him like that

You couldn’t help but give a small smile despite his implication. It was a start. “And I’m not gonna do it today, either.” Well, the sooner the better, but still, it’s a start.

He then stood up from the chair, fixing his jacket with a sigh. “If you show up even a minute late on Friday, I’m not helping” and before you even had a chance to reply, he walked out of the room, the door shutting with a slam which made you flinch. Luckily, you were a very punctual person when it came to this kind of stuff. This was important, so if you had to show up early, so be it. You hurriedly shoved your assignments back into your backpack, not even fully zipping it up before rushing out of the study room, back through the library, and to the dorms.

“He said that?!” Sky yelled, quickly wiping their hand over their mouth to quiet themself once you shushed them. “I don’t really feel comfortable with you going to another ‘study session’ with that guy if he’s just gonna bully you.”

“I wouldn’t call it bullying-”

“He was bullying you.”

“OKAY! So what if he was?!” You fell back onto Sky’s bed with a sigh, arms splayed out with your legs dangling off the side. “I can handle it. As long as I get my grade up, who cares?”

Sky sat down next to you on their bed, giving you a sad look as you sat yourself up with your elbows. “I care. So does Ella. You shouldn’t put up with that just for a grade. I’m sure if you explain to your professor and-”

“And what? Tell him that I’m a grown woman getting bullied over something I should know by now?” You sat yourself up fully now, leaning forward to place your elbows on your thighs as your head rested in your hands. “It’s only until finals are over and we’re already halfway through October. Maybe I won’t even need that much time, maybe I’m just missing one simple… math move and it’ll get the gears in my brain moving again.”

You tilted your head to the side to look at Sky, head now resting only in your right hand as you took in their annoyed look. “Trust me. I can handle this.”

“If you say so.” They ran their fingers through her hair before looking away from you, directing their attention forward to stare off at nothing. “Just remember that I bite and I’m not afraid to use my fake chompers on that no good-”

“I don’t wanna think about escalations right now, but thank you.” You chuckled, playfully nudging Sky with your free hand before moving it back to hold your head up with the other. Though you were trying to convince Sky on this, you were mostly just trying to convince yourself that you could handle this. Handle Leon and his.. alluring charm..

Only until finals, maybe even sooner.

[moved-lambyblurbsfics]

ik you wrote all little abt bully schlatt already but could you maybe make smth out of it? like a little fic? possibly smut👀🤭

just a thought, anyways LOVE YOUR WRITING!! BYEEE!!!!

I had alot of fun writing this! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your ask/submission <3

Your Bully, Schlatt

Summary: its finally your senior year of highs chool, ready to get out of this place and onto new stuff, but you still have to deal with your bully

Warnings:annoying schlatt

Word Count:723

Authors Note: May or may not make this into a series, idk yet, and I'm still trying to find my writing style. Ignore how all over the place stuff is, haven't written in a while. Getting my writing boots back on for y’all :D

Y/N POV

It's your senior year, and you're just happy to get this last year of high school over with and done, getting onto better things with your life.

You had plans for after high school and wanted to get away from these other people you went to school with. Especially your bully, Schlatt. He has always picked on you since probably freshman year of high school. You don't know why as your groups of friends never interacted that much or at all. But he's always just been mean to you. Making fun of your style, things you liked, or stuff you did with your friends. And it aggravated you so much.

First day of senior year, and you're already halfway through the day when you find out Schlatt shares a few classes with you. Which only makes you groan at the thought of having that semester with him in the classroom with you.

The first class you had with him, you walked into your biology class, kind of excited about what you'd be learning in the class that year. Only to immediately curse to yourself when you walked into the classroom and saw Schlatt. Sitting at the back of the classroom, leaning back in his chair, and resting his feet on the desk. He had a big smirk across his face as he saw you enter the classroom.

You avoid eye contact instantly, beelining for the furthest empty seat away from Schlatt. But it was still too close to him for your liking. The bell hadn’t rung yet to let everyone know that class was starting. Students were still coming into the classroom filling out some more seats. You sat silently in your spot, no one taking the seat next to you, yet.

But before you could call it clear with Schlatt not bothering you. But then you could hear a small whistle from Schlatt’s direction, you didn't pay mind to it trying to ignore him. The next thing you knew, Schlatt was now sitting at the table behind you, you could feel the smirk radiating off him as he moved his legs to bump your chair.

You started to get irritated and already over his whole annoying nuisance act, you whip around in your chair to tell Schlatt off. “Do you need something?” you asked him with a little angry growl to your question.

Schlatt just crossed his arms and leaned a little back in his seat, a grin on his face and shaking his head no, not saying a word making you more irritated. You turn back around in your seat hearing the bell ring signaling that class has started. Sighing in relief a little maybe the bothering would stop from Schlatt.

Your focus was on the front of the classroom, but you then heard the seat next to you at the table you sat being pulled out from the table. You glanced over to your right, to see none other than Schlatt sitting down in the seat.

You noticed Schlatt sit down only making you frown. The biology teacher got to handing out the packet that outlined the sections and stuff they were learning for the year, the class expectations, and the teacher's email for communication.

Schlatt quietly pulled out a notebook, as you did and some other students did as well. Writing down the information he was giving to the class. As you started writing down some of the supplies needed for the class, there was already a problem with Schlatt sitting to your right.

You're right-handed, and unfortunately, Schlatt is left-handed. His elbow bumped into yours now and then as the two of you wrote in your notebooks. Only making you more frustrated, you glance over at Schlatt with an annoyed glare as you look over at him. Only to be surprised with an almost apologetic look from Schlatt, not a thing you got from him ever.

Schlatt's POV Schlatt actually had a small, okay he liked you a lot more than just a small crush. He didn't know why he was mean to you or so rude. But he didn't know how to express how much he liked you. And since it was your guys' senior year, he might now see you after graduation. He was gonna try this year, and hopefully ask you out.

[pisstintedglasses]

"I'm a Man Too" P.SH × Reader

• Sunghoon x Yeji's best friend! Reader •

Warnings: slight angst, reader is Sunghoon's Sister's best friend, smut, slowburn, underage [consensual] sex, fluff, p in v, idk what else. Nana x Shoji inspired situation !!

Don't like? Don't read.

Word count: 8.7k

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚

Growing up with multiple hobbies sounds chaotic, especially for an introvert. At least, that's what you thought. Still, you joined a different club or sport every semester whenever it caught your attention. Or rather, when someone from said club catches your eye.

In your first year of middle school, you joined the student council after you heard about a cute guy thinking of running. Which, in the end, you grew tired of, having practically no rest after school due to the constant meetings.

So you quit in your 2nd year, only to sign up for the art club to impress your friend who you've been crushing on for a while. Realizing you held no real passion towards art as well, you decided to drop it.

On your last year in middle school, with your mind clouded with the thoughts of graduating and a certain bad boy who liked strong girls, you once again dove into club applications head first.

The martial arts club, to be exact. The boy was in the club since his first year and was already advanced compared to the new members, so he also aided in training the others alongside the coach.

Imagine the ecstasy you felt when he brushed a hand down your back to fix your posture. You took this club pretty seriously at first, since the bad boy became your training buddy. It was all going well until he announced his relationship with another member of the team.

Heartbroken, you started showing up to practice less and less until you practically quit. Deciding you had enough of chasing after boys, you focus on yourself and academics until you graduate.

You were finally yourself, doing whatever you wanted with your friends. As much as you could, before it was time to take exams to get into the high school you wanted.

One time, while you were at a year-end party for the seniors, you stumbled upon one of the prettiest girls you've seen. Park Yeji. She was famous for being Park Sunghoon's sister. That's all she was practically known for. Being the brother of a young, pro figure skater who appeared on tv multiple times.

A bit tipsy from the spiked punch they were serving at the party, you had the confidence to just strut your heeled feet towards her and strike a conversation. To which she gladly participated in, genuinely having fun with you.

After the party and a couple hangouts with just the two of you, you started feeling a bond form. Introducing one another to your other friends and family, Park Yeji instantly became a close and trusted friend friend.

Close enough that you both applied for and got into the same high school. It was only a matter of time before she introduced you to her brother.

It went well, to say the least. At least, that's what it seemed to Yeji. Coming home from a little cafe date with you, she didn't expect her brother to be home early.

"Oh, Sunghoon oppa! (Apologies if you think oppa is cringe, but I lowkey headcanon that Sunghoon gets upset with Yeji when she doesn't address him as such). I didn't know you were home. Don't you have practice?"

Your friend queried as your eyes trailed towards the tall boy sitting in their living room couch, a random documentary set up on the tv. Not even sparing a glance until he heard his sister's voice.

Once he finally turned his head towards the door, your eyes met, and you couldn't help but stare in awe at his features. Similar to Yeji's, but more defined. So handsome.

As if relishing in his beauty marks, his plump lips, his sharp eyes, and his pale skin, you fail to hear that your friend was prompting you to give yourself an introduction.

You only noticed when she nudged you with her elbow and cleared throat, raising her eyebrows and nodding towards her brother then at you, expectantly.

"O-oh! Uh, right. It's our first time meeting.." You mumbled, quickly introducing yourself and bowing as a sign of respect. To which he reciprocated, standing up from his seat to introduce himself and bowing as well.

Oh god. His voice is fucking dreamy.

You almost mentioned aloud before your friend pulled you towards her room. "We're just going to watch a movie in my room, don't bother us, okay?" She warned. The boy only shrugged it off and placed all of his attention back on the tv.

Of course, he wouldn't. You knew from his short introduction and a few stories from Yeji that Sunghoon's not a very social person.

Still, you hoped he'd at least take a second glance your way.

And he does, but much to your dismay, you didn't notice. He doesn't realize it right away, but maybe. Just maybe, he found you attractive.

The moment you stepped into your friends room, she gingerly tells you to sit on the bed. Her sudden mood swing confused you. After all, you two were just giggling with each other before stepping foot into her house.

"Sure." Sensing the tension, you don't question her and just obey. You expected her to sit next to you, but no. She remains standing and positions herself in front of you with crossed arms.

She sternly calls out your name before starting, "My brother is strictly off-limits."

You were surprised that she caught onto you quickly, yet also offended by the sudden (correct) accusation.

"What-" you tried to at least TRY and deny but she cut you off, "We both know you gave a history for falling fast. But didn't you say you were trying to change?" She reprimanded.

Realizing you couldn't fool her, you just hung your head low and listened. "Please. I care about both of you." She said as she grasped your hand. "I don't want either of your feelings getting hurt."

Still struggling to look her in the eyes, you just tightened your grip on her hands. "Promise me. Look me in the eyes and promise me you won't get with my brother." Her voice cracked mid sentence.

If you weren't being practically interrogated right now, you would have chuckled. Who would have thought Yeji was just as protective as her brother. The same brother who warded off any boy who decided to ever so slightly glance at Yeji for more than a second.

Actually, recalling how you told her everything about my past romantic experiences, you realize she's right to worry about you going after her brother.

- flashback -

"Hey Yeji, have you decided which high school you're gonna apply for?" To which she replied some local one, reasoning it's the same one her brother goes to. [Imagine Sunghoon's just 2 years older than her]

"What about you? Have you decided?" You shook your head no. All you've been focusing on recently was Yeji, partying, and graduating. Now that you've done all three (not Yeji), you're practically clueless.

Sighing, you stare at some blank space and drift off. I'll just apply to multiple and go to whichever accepts me.

••• [ the first day of high school ]

You bump into a surprised Yeji. She wasn't aware you applied for the same school. You didn't tell her to surprise her. Of course, being the good friend she is, she gladly helped introduce you to the other people in class she already knew.

A few cute boys she made you face already made you blush a bit. Cat-eyed Jungwon, Deep voiced Riki, and Smiley Sunoo. Your best friend immediately caught on.

"I get the idea you came here to get a boyfriend.." "N-no! I swear I came here 'cause I heard the education here was good." That was partially true. Your parents recommended this school to you after you told them Yeji was planning on going here too.

She narrowed her eyes at your oh-so-obvious excuse. "Oh, come on. You're telling me you didn't find any of them cute?" "Of course not. They're just my guy friends from middle school. I had many guy friends that if I didn't keep my cool, it would've been bothersome."

Many guy friends.. it's not such a bad thought, actually. Speaking of which, you've never had a guy friend before. All of the boys you've interacted with before, you've had a crush on. And Yeji knew it.

--------

Sighing and understanding why she cared so deeply about her brother, you gave in. "Ok. Yeji, I promise I won't ever think of your brother as a boyfriend-to-be." You vow with genuine determination.

After hearing your words, she finally softened. Releasing the breath she didn't realize she was holding "Try and treat him like a normal person..okay?" You nod. "Alright. I've decided. I'll befriend your brother!"

She stared at me as if you've grown two heads. Seeing her confusion towards my sudden swear, you explain. It's because you most likely won't be able to control your feelings.

Her confused eyes morphed into soft ones. "Wether or not you can control your feelings isn't easy to do. In your case, keeping him as a friend actually IS the best thing you can do."

Her permission to let me befriend him was implied. Lunging forward, you hugged her, making both of you tumble down towards the floor with a loud thud. "Thank you Yejii!! I'll do my best!"

You appreciated her. Letting someone close to her brother isn't an easy thing to do, yet she trusts you enough.

A knock on her door startled you two , but before you could get off of her, the door swung open. "What was that sound?" A worried Sunghoon appeared. His thick yet adorable eyebrows drew close together.

"Ah, Oppa." Your friend deadpanned as if you didn't just tackle her. Seeing him again made your heart skip a beat. Not just because he caught you and his sister in such a position.

No. Wait. I shouldn't get this excited. He's just a friend.

"We were playing around. You can close the door now.. please..!" you explained cheerily, adding the plead at the end when you remembered this wasn't your house.

Yeji just rolled her eyes as her brother just looked at the two of you with an unreadble expression. Slowly shutting the door.

"Well, at least he might think you're a lesbian now." Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. You hoisted her back up on the bed and shrugged at the idea. It's for the better. You reminded yourself. I have to work hard and befriend him.

And so you did. It took about a month before you amd Sunghoon could finally converse without the awkwardness. A whole month where you've been trying to just get to know about him more.

And so here you are. Huddled up in the Parks' living room. Sitting on the floor around their coffee table with Yeji and one of Sunghoon's friends; Jay.

Soda cans were scattered all over the table, some random TV show playing in the background to fill in the silence whenever you'd try to think of something to say next.

Yeji and Jay were having some conversation of their own, leaving Sunghoon and you to your own devices. You wanted to strike up a conversation, but nothing comes to mind at all.

"You seem so quiet." Sunghoon suddenly pointed out, staring at you with those sharp eyes. He went on with how Yeji always said yoj was energetic and talkative, in contrast to how you always acted when you were near him. Then he licked his dry lips and... shit.

Just friends. Just friends.

"No, not at all..!" Seeing your tense shoulders, he couldn't say anything and just stared at you with that same unreadable expression of his.

Jay and Yeji seemed to notice the tension forming and broke the ice for you. Jay hurriedly suggested that maybe you weren't used to talking to guys.

Yeji just cackled cackled at his statement, "That's definitely not the case. She even had a boyfriend until recently." She exposed, but you didn't mind. You were usually open about it to your other friends anyway. Still, you yelled her name in faux offense.

"How about we talk about it? Let's talk about our deepest, innermost secrets, so our friendship will deepen. That's what we did when we first met at the party." She nudged at you as you snickered at the memory.

"What party?" Sunghoon asked. He was unaware that his sister's been going to parties since her second year of middle school. He never allowed her to, after all. But who said she didn't sneak out after everyone else was asleep?

"Okay, I'll start!" She raised a can to her mouth to act as a microphone." I've been going to parties since I was in middle school! Okay, now it's your turn." She passed it to Jay, ignoring her brother's bewildered queries.

"Oh, uh. Shit man, I can't think of anything." You shook your head, "Nahhh, we all do. Come onnn, spit it out! We promise that whatever we drop here stays here." Singhing in defeat, he finally opens his mouth and raises the can to his chin with mumbles of protest.

"I was rejected by a girl before in front of my entire class. As of that wasn't bad enough she said I had bad breath, too." A mix of 'ooh's errupted from the 3 of you.

"Brutal." You commented, while Sunghoon was just snickering beside you, Yeji's party ordeal overshadowed by his friend's painful secret.

"You probably still do, though." He teased. "Oh shut up, that was like- 5 years ago."

"After that, I wore a mask and religiously brushed my teeth for 6 whole months!" You began to laugh too before he passed the mic (can) to you. Ah, my turn. You were dreading having to talk, but maybe it was fine.

So our friendship will deepen. Yeji's voice rang in your head.

"Uhh- what do you wanna know?" You asked as you took the can from Jay's grasp. Sunghoon's laughter finally died down, Yeji suggested to talj about your love life. And so you gladly accepted.

"First of all, gimme a second." You gulped down the remains of your drink, forgetting that it wasn't alchohol. I could've needed it if I was gonna spill everything.

. . .

Well, it turns out you didn't need it after all. At first, you were talking about the cute guy from the student government, then the words just kept on flowing out of your mouth until you were having a full-on dramatic story time about your ex crushes.

Your uneasiness left you as soon as you got to talking. And everyone was endeared by the way you spilled your heart out to them. "And then the next guy I fell in love at first sight with was my guy best friend at the time! Puppy-boy Sim Jaeyun!"

"Puppy-boy Sim Jaeyun?" Sunghoon echoed, laughing hysterically again, seemingly finding your love ordeals funny.

"But he really looked like a cute puppy, that Jaeyun! Especially when he smiles!" Your volume was getting loud now, similar to how you always talk to with Yeji. It gathered complains from said girl and Jay.

"Don't overdo it, now-" Yeji tried to interrupt and grab the makeshift mic from you, but Sunghoon interrupted, "So, the next one? who's next?"

You sat back down, excitedly starting as you recalled, "The next one was.." oh. Him. The one yoi took seriously the most. Lee Heeseung.

Flashbacks of how you used to interact flodded your memory. You had just now realized how he played with you. Always giving you teasing touches whenever he helped train and teach you Taekwondo, but ignoring you whenever someone else came near.

"No.." You didn't realize how you mumbled it aloud, and definitely not the tears that now flowed down your cheeks. Yeji became worried and called out your name to ask if you were alright.

Sunghoon also grew worried and asked what was suddenly wrong with you, placing a caring hand on your shoulder.

"See me after school?" Heeseung flashed his charming smile at me again, eyes not on me, but the girl he ended up dating a week later. "Come on, we can check out that café you were yapping about." He placed his hand on my shoulder, which I thought was a sign of affection. But actually, it was to make the girl from afar jealous. He used me.

"Don't!" You slapped the warmth away, startling them all. Sunghoon's eyes furrowed again, "don't..?" "Wah! I'm sorry Oppa! She probably didn't mean to hit you!" Yeji turned to you, "Hey, are you okay?"

You clung to her, just letting out all of your frustrations dampen her pretty sleeping dress.

Don't touch me... Don't touch me if you don't love me.

• • •

(From this part of the story, it will be in your pov)

After my outburst, Yeji led me to her room and laid me down her bed, where I cried myself to sleep. She left me there and walked back outside and softly closed the door behind her.

"Looks like she's staying over for the night." Yeji sighed, getting startled when he brother was standing right outside her door. "Jay fell asleep too. He fell asleep on the couch." He said with his signature deadpan tone. One of the things he has in common with his sister.

But Yeji could care less about his blabbers about Jay. "Say, Oppa.. you don't have a girlfriend, right?" "Why, did your classmates ask if I can bless them with my presence again?" He joked, which caused a disgusted face to bloom on Yeji's face.

"What's with that look? Hey, when I was in middle school, girls would flock to me! I just dont happen to have one right now." He quickly defended himself. He was never one to boast about this, but he didn't like the thought of his sister not thinking he was capable of pulling bitches.

"Heh." "Heh?" "I knew it.." Yeji began. "You were flirting with her today, weren't you? You're weird. You make your intentions so obvious."

Sunghoon stayed quiet at first, a faint blush adorning his usually place cheeks. If you were awake right now, your heartbeat would've paced again. "But she hates me.." He sighed, recalling how I violently pushed him away earlier. Insecurities rushing to his head.

"No, she doesn't." Sunghoon's head shot up, staring at his younger sister with eyes wide. "What?" "The truth is, when you and her first met, she immediately had a crush on you."

He couldn't believe what his sister was blabbing about. She sighed and put her slender hands on his shoulders, "..just please treat her well." That was all she said before she left her brother to go check up on Jay.

• • •

The next morning, I woke up facing a ceiling that definitely didnt belong to my room. Sitting uo immediately, I scanned the room and saw Yeji beside me. Seeing her calmed me down in a second. I was relaxing against her headboard until a flash of last night's happenings.

I tried to piece them together since my mind is still partially hazy from my sleep. Let's see.. uh. We were playing games.. watching tv.. and.. Oh. OH SHIT.

My hands flew to my face as I shrieked, much to Yeji's dismay. "What are you screaming about so early in the morning.." she grumbled, elbowing my side.

"YEJI, I FUCKING EMBARASSED MYSELF IN FRONT YOUR BROTHER AND HIS FRIEND LAST NIGHT. EMBARASSED ISN'T EVEN HALF OF IT, I PRACTICALLY DUG MY OWN SOCIAL GRAVE-" the girl beside you slapped a hand over your mouth. "For fucks sake it's 7 in the morning. Bitch about your bad decisions later.."

I grumbled against her mouth but just gave in since she practically clamped it on. She wouldn't take it off until I completely shut up. Maybe forgetting the fact that I just revealed to them how much of a love whore I was is the solution.

Slumping back to my sleeping position, I sighed. "Hey." called my friend, eyes still closed, but now she was laying on her stomach. "You still seem pretty hurt about the H situation."

When I said nothing, she kept talking. "...Sunghoon's no longer off-limits." What? "Why would you suddenly suggest that..?"

She finally opened her eyes and locked in with mine. "Because he's a good guy. He's the tyoe to really treasure his girlfriend. And he has feelings for you. I can guarantee it."

Her words went in one ear then out the other.

Yeji trusts me enough to take care of her brother.. "YEJIIII" I hug her close to me once more. "If you were a guy, I'd definitely date you instead." "Huh? Wha- let go of me- you're getting off topic again!"

"But I can't do that. Sunghoon's my important guy friend. How could he be my boyfriend?" Now it was her turn to be shocked. Did she actually just see him as just a friend now? Yeji thought.

//So baby come and get it//

My phone began to ring. My mom's caller ID popped up. "Oh shit, I forgot to tell her I was staying at yours for the night." I got off of the bed and took the call.

"Sorry Yeji, I gotta leave 'cause ma needs me for an errand. I'll see you at school, yeah?" Already opening the door, I waved her a goodbye. Heading out the door, I saw Jay still knocked out on the couch. I wonder where he is.

Wait. No. Don't even think about him. For Yeji.

On cue, their bathroom door opens, revealing Sunghoon in a gray tank top with his hair disheveled and wet. Fuck, are the gods testing me? "Good morning." Holy shit his morning voice.

"O-oh, Good Morning. I was just leaving. Thanks for having me." I bowed and b-lined for the door, ignoring his calls and offers for breakfast.

• • •

The past few weeks passed by in a blur, where Sunghoon has evidently been trying to talk to me more. Whilst I tried my damnest to avoid him. Just like this instant. When we were all gathered at Jay's house when he asked for help with a project.

"A movie?" I quipped. "Yeah, you mentioned that you liked going to the movies. If you're free on Sunday, I was thinking we could go together." With his words so smooth, an imaginary heart practically spawned itself next to him.

As he offered, Yeji was narrowing her eyes at her brother's so cliché strategy, but instantly shot wide open when you spoke, "No, I can't, sorry." Jab 1 "I like watching movies alone." Jab 2 " I can't really focus on appreciating a movie if I have a friend with me." Jab 3.

Sunghoon choked on his own saliva, and truth be told, Yeji was on the verge of doing the same thing, too. You. Lovesick you just rejected a date with THE Park Sunghoon. She was starting to think she hit your head a little too harsh when you did something stupid. She could practically see Sunghoon's imaginary heart break mid-air.

In his mind, Sunghoon was bottling up negative thoughts and insecurities again. 'Guess it won't work, huh..' 'a friend..? Ouch.' He didn't try speaking again until he heard a pained squeak come from you. When he turned, your hand was bleeding.

"What happened? You're bleeding?" Jay called. "I cut myself..!" Jay pointed me towards the first aid kit and was about to help me, but Sunghoon grabbed the kit from him and pulled you to a secluded corner in the room.

Too stunned, I just let him. He poured some antiseptic onto a cotton ball and began to dab it at my wounded finger. "Honestly.. what were you doing? So careless." The pain from the alcohol seeps through me, eliciting whines.

He dabbed it again, but this time with a bit more force, making me wince and retract my hand. "It stings!" "It can't be helped! If you don't treat it now, it won't heal properly! Wouldn't that hurt more?" And just like that, I shut up.

Drifting off again until he I feel a bit of pain. "Stop already, it hurts!" "Calm down! Look it's okay, I took care of it already!" He pulled my hand towards my face, showing the finger that was neatly bandaged. "It should heal quickly."

Heal quickly, huh?

For some reason, his words brought a smile to my face. What a gentle giant.. "thank you, Sunghoon.. You're actually so nice."

You trailed off, but your words sent blood straight to his cheeks. Wanting to hide his aloofness from you, he faced away with a huff.

"No big deal.. I just felt like I had to help you..". Before I could stop myself, my question rolled off of my tongue, reaching his ears. "Hey, how do you think I could heal a broken heart?"

Sunghoon's ears were red now. "I really think.. I can't fall in love ever again." Seriously, I wanted to beg him for an answer. "You really think so..?" He asked, which I nodded. Then, we just sat there. Staring at each other. Yet I still awaited his advice.

He was thinking of something, but nothing came to mind. All he was thinking about right now was how close you were. How you were innocently smiling at him with those cute dimples.

He's actually so pretty up close.. his choice of clothing today really suits him. The same grey tank top I saw him wearing that day after I told them about my love life. with a navy blue jacket paired with dark baggy jeans.

Great sense of fashion. Engrossed in my thoughts, I couldn't hear him whisper my name. He was about to say something when I stood up abruptly.

"Alright, I decided! Oppa, where do you think I can find freshly dressed young men! Like those who wear suits!"

"At a gaming centre..?"

"No,no those places are full of kids yelling at the game for making them lose."

"Then.. a club-?"

"Bingo!"

I rush to where Yeji and Jay were sitting, "hey, why don't we all go to club after we finish Jay's project?" I'll try my best to fall in love again, as long as it's not with Sunghoon!

• • •

And so here I was. Staring at multiple sweaty and horny people grinding against each other to the beats the DJ was playing. The DJ was actually kinda cute.

You were eyeing him since earlier and even asked around about who he was. You learned that his name was Choi Beomgyu... and that he was a womanizer.

Well, it doesn't hurt to just admire from afar, right? I was basking in the club's ambiance alone. Yeji and Jay said they were busy or too lazy to come with, so I brought just me, myself, and I. Still, it felt sort of good to be alone for once.

A few gentle taps landed on my shoulder, and when I turned, I was faced by a broad chest. Looking up, it was Sunghoon. Oh. "I knew I'd find you here.." he managed to pull me out of there after he said that.

"Ahh, that DJ Beomgyu guy was so cool! He was so nice too! " My words were slurred. Maybe the drinks they handed out at the club were spiked. Sunghoon only rolled his eyes at me as I walked alongside each other.

"If you like him, then tell him. You might get to be his girlfriend if you do."

"Nah, I don't want that. I heard he was a womanizer, so he's strictly off-limits. I'm not into womanizers." You contradicted your first words.

"Then stay away from him." He gloomed.

It was nice to chat around like this with a friend that wasn't Yeji for once. Altough it was her brother, but still.

Talking to him feels like talking to Yeji. I giggle at the thought. "You know, when I'm with you, it feels like I'm talking to Yeji."

He gave you a displeased look, so you think of someone else when you're with me?

I went on drabbling again about how Yeji's been so busy these days. "But you know what, it's fine 'cause I have Sunghoon!"

The boy sighed. It looks like I'm just Yeji's replacement..

"Oh, why did you come all the way here to get me, though? Did Yeji get you to come?"

"No, I was out drinking with a few friends and thought you'd be nearby." (He followed you, and when he saw giys staribg at you, he finally decided to get you out of there)

After I replied with an 'oh', there was that silence again. Except this time, it was more relaxed. Maybe it's because I was drunk. I was enjoying the contrast of calmness that the silence offered compared to the club's lust driven energy. This is nice.

"Hey.. uh. I was thinking.." Sunghoon's deep, yet sweet voice rang through the air. I looked at him as I waited for him to continue. He looked good, even with his side profile. That jaw could cut through even the strongest of metals.

"Since I feel like we haven't been able to hang out lately, the four of us.. what if we go on a trip?" With a tinge of hope in them, his eyes finally met mine. "To where?" "Jay's been interested in going to this one beachside motel. He said it had good reviews, too.. so I was thinking maybe we could go."

• • •

Summer vacation came, and we finally pulled through with the 2-day trip. The amount of tumes we had to practically beg Yeji' parents to let her cone with us was so worth it. Now, here we were, lounging at the beach and enjoying the weather.

Yeji and I wore these matching yellow, frilled 2-piece. It suited her so well. And that was the problem. Sunghoon was practically itching to headbutt every single guy who glanced at us. Meanwhile, Jay just minded his own business, setting up the grill so he could start cooking.

The day passed by so fast. We played around the beach, ate whatever Jay burnt for us, swam a bit. Before we knew it, the sun was starting to set. "Hey, it's getting dark. We should go back to the room." Jay offered, already beginning to pack up our stuff.

It was nice. I barely paid attention to Sunghoon the whole day. Maybe I do just see him as a friend now. Still, a part of me ached at the thought of losing interest in the boy.

When we got to me and Yeji's room, the boys stayed over for a few to just drink a few beers with us. Sunghoon normally wouldn't allow his sister to ANY form of alcohol, but after 30 minutes of Yeji pleading with tears threatening to fall from her pretty eyes, he gave in.

We were all giggling at a story Jay was telling, all tipsy, if not near blacked-out drunk. Well.. Sunghoon was. Who knew he'd be such a lightweight.

"It was such a great idea to go to the beach. I was getting tired of the endless tall buildings in our neighborhood. You could barely take aesthetic shots of nature and shit there!" Yeji groaned. "But here, I feel so full of life!"

Jay chuckled at her statement, "Me too, I don't feel like sleeping even after all the shit we've done today." He huffed. All the while, Sunghoon just drank silently, blanking out and staring at the table.

"Oppa, are you sleepy?" Concern laced Yeji's voice at the thought of her brother falling asleep while sitting. He hummed a quick 'eung', and his sister began to pull Jay up by the arm.

"Okay, we'll get going now!" "What? The hell are you talking about? This is your girls' room." Jay protest, still, he let Yeji hoist him towards the door.

"Yeah, Yeji.. are you drunk-?" Now it was my turned to be concerned. Before she could answer my question, she was already out halfway out of the door with Jay in tow.

If Sunghoon wasn't on the verge of blacking out, he'd have killed Jay for even letting Yeji touch him in the first place. Said girl just gave a knowing look and a wink before shutting the door behind her. What is she thinking..?

I turned to look at Sunghoon, who had his head thrown back. "Sunghoon, if you're sleepy, you should lay on the bed already." Wrapping an arm around his, I pulled him up and placed him on his bed. "Are you sure you're okay sharing a room with me?" He whispered once he hit the soft mattress.

"No worries. There are two beds anyway, so it's fine. I won't attack you, so you don't need to worry." I joked to try and lighten the mood. "If it'd help you sleep better, I can sing you a lullaby."

"No you don't have to! But even if you're alright with it, I'm not! I might.. be the one that attacks you.." His sentence started loud but ended quietly when it came to the last few words.

Attack me?

"Why?" I managed to mumble out. "What do you mean, 'why?'" "I mean, aren't we just friends?" I stated like it was the most obvious thing ever, which stunned him. He sighed and sat up on the bed again, calling my name softly.

"Why don't you see me as a man? I've been trying my best to have you notice me, but you're completely shutting me down. Even when Yeji told me you liked me back! I'm a man too. Why can't you see that?"

Eyes widening at his declaration, I couldn't find the words to say. Instead, my mind ran back again to Heeseung. Godammit. I have a perfectly kind and handsome man declaring his love for me, yet Heeseung still haunts me.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry." I whimpered out, finally letting the tears fall. "It's just.. I didn't want to betray Yeji.. she cares so much about you. You already know I have a problem with falling in love with people fast but lose interest in them easily. Yeji didn't want either of us to get hurt, so I promised I'd only treat you as a treasured guy friend. It's been so hard to shut my feelings down for you.. so all I've been doing is push you away."

Sunghoon's heart warmed at knowing his sister cares deeply about him. A part of him also felt at ease knowing you were willing to give up your own happiness for his sister. He felt no anger towards Yeji, instead, he just wanted to make you lose the guilt weighing on your shoulders.

After all, Yeji already gave the two of you the green light. He laughed at the irony of the situation, though. He who has been getting white hairs stressing over what he can do to make you acknowledge him behind his sister's back so she won't get hurt, and you who purposely turned a blind eye for the same reason. His sister.

"What's so funny?!" I drawled, sniffing. My tears came to a stop now, distracted  by his obnoxious laughing. When he didn't stop laughing, I noticed how cute he was when he smiles.

I've been trying to avoid looking at him for so long that I forgot how good he looked. Slowly, I began to laugh with him. His laughter was infectious. Our laughter mixed well together until it died down once we got tired.

"Man, we're both fools." He lied back down, resting his head on his arms. "Speak for yourself, hotshot." I nudged him with a playful hand. The air in the room was lighter now, as if we didn't just confess to each other a few minutes ago.

I appreciate how easy it is to talk to him. It's moments like these where I feel like I'm actually talking to Sunghoon as an equal. An individual. Without having to think about the consequences it would bring. It never felt like this with Heeseung.

"So.. are we good now?" He asked. Humming a small 'yes', I waddled to my own bed and plopped down on my stomach, still facing him. "Good. Now that I have made peace with you, we can sleep together ever once in a while, right?" He joked. "What are you talking about?!" He must be blabbering 'cause he's tired.

"It's alright if you don't want to.. I'll endure it for you." Realizing he was serious about it, I didn't say anything. I mean, what could I even say? Sunghoon took the silence negatively though and muttered a defeated "..okay.."

"Hey, don't come up with your own conclusions, I didn't say no!" "Then why didn't you say anything?" Once more, I couldn't think of a reply again. Wait. "If you tell me you love me, I'll sleep with you."

"What." He was shocked for the nth time tonight. "Why so sudden?" "It's just that... remember when I lashed out at you that night we were hanging out at your house? I was thinking about one of the guys I fell in love with.. he used to me to get this other girl jealous. He'd flirt with me, tease me, be all kind to me. Made me feel wanted... loved. But whenever the girl was near, his eyes were all on her... it felt awful."

Tears already glossed over my eyes. His brows drew together again as he listened in, humming to let you know he was. "I never heard anyone say it to me before.. well. Other than Yeji and my family. But it's different if it comes from the man I love."

"I... I'm not used to directly saying it like that. It's cheesy!" He denied, but when we locked eyes again, he felt a pang if guilt pierced through his heart.

"Fuck. I'm a man, why can't I say it!  Fine! I'll act like a different person, a confident one! My name will be Bemjamin!"

"Huh? ? I won't sleep with you if you pretend like you're somebody else! I only want Park Sunghoon!"

I say that, but I play along, blinking the tears away, I went to the table where we left some tea packets lying around.

"I'm making some tea. Would you like some, Benjamin?" My back was turned to him as I began to tear the packet open. I didn't hear him respond, so I was about to turn around, but I felt him standing behind me already.

When I did face him, he quickly pulled me into a hug, softly patting my head. He whispered, "I love you.. so much that it pains me to see you cry. Especially if it's over some loser who didn't deserve you in the first place."  He finished off his words with a peck on my forehead. Only then did we both notice I was already crying again.

I giggled and wrapped my eyes around his shoulders, burying my head in the warmth of his chest. "I love you too, Park Sunghoon." He smiled back and tightened the hug, drawing our bodies closer. When I looked back up at him, he was all red.

"Forget that loser.. let me show you how a man should treat his lover." He raised a hand to the back of my head, I expedted him to gently push my face closer to his, but he didn't quite do it yet. "Will you let me..?"

Oh my fucking god I love him. Smiling, I stood on my tiptoes and finally connected our lips. We stayed like that for a while before he started to move his lips, and so did I. His hand that was once on the my head slid down to my waist, positioned next to his other one.

I tilted my head just enough to deepen the kiss, and he loved it. After a while, we pulled back, a string of saliva hung from my lips to his. We were both smiling ear to ear at each other, giggling again as he picked me up and sat me on the bed. This giddy feeling.. I hope it's mutual.

He leaned in for another kiss, except this time, it was rougher. I was indulging in the feeling of it when he pulled back. "Can I use my tongue?" He looked so serious, and it made your heart flutter how he felt the need to ask if he could go further than an innocent kiss.

Placing an affectionate hand on his flushed cheeks, I assured him, "Sunghoon.. you can do whatever you want to me." Sunghoon's smile seemed to grow wider if that was even possible. He leaned back in with a small "thank you" before plunging his tongue into my mouth.

As we made out, his hands began to roam all over my body. From my back, to my waist, to now, my chest. He tugged at my pajama top as a silent request to take it off. I pulled his hands and let it to the buttons. He got the innuendo and began undoing every button and helped slide the fabric off of my arms.

"Fuck, no bra?" Taking in the sight of my perky nipples, he licked his plump lips. His stare made me cover the girls in shame, only for him to push me down the bed with my arms trapped my his own beside my head. "Hey.. who said you should cover them? They're beautiful. You're beautiful."

His praises shot straight through me and right between your legs. Rubbing them together, I whimpered. "Sunghoon.. it's embarrassing.."It's okay, angel. Just let me make you feel good." He moved down to your chest , maintaining eye contact with me as he licked everywhere on my tits but my nipples. "Sunghoon, don't tease~"

When he did, god, it felt so good. He kept sucking on it, occasionally biting on it to tease a surprised moan out of me. When he was done with that, he moved on to my other tit, giving it the same attention while he fondled the other one.

He was humping the mattress beneath him, my small whimpers of his name turning him on so much. "Sunghoon.. let me do something for you, too.." I whined, finally snapping him from his titty trance. He let my nipple out of his mouth with a 'pop'. "No, angel. Tonight, you're gonna be nothing but a pillow princess."

Those were the last words he said before he slid your pajama down your legs. "Aww, flower patterns? Fucking adorable." "Sunghoon!" He chuckled before he finally took off the remaining piece of clothing I had, my cotton panties. They were comfy.

"Spread your legs for me, angel." He said, but I only shut them close at first, but eventually I do as he says. "Fuck.. You're all wet.." "just for you." Those three words made the man in front of me internally scream in victory, in happiness, in pride.

He dove straight down in front of my pussy, keeping his eyes on mine before giving sweet nios and pecks all over my thighs. I squirmed, wanting to feel some friction on my cunt already. The pleasure violently bolted through my body when he latched his tongue onto my clit without a warning. A pleasured gasp escaping my lips.

He then licked down towards my hole, prodding and circling at the flesh lightly before pushing the muscle in. He constantly switched from plunging his tongue in and nipping at my clit. As if that wasn't already enough to make my my spin from the pleasure, he kept moaning into my cunt too.

His noises are fucking addictive.

"Sunghoonie! I'm close!" My voice sounded breathier and was a few notes higher than normal. I tugged at his hair to try and pry him off of me, but that only caused him to push his head deeper against my cunt, practically smashing his face on it. I could feel his nose rubbing on my clit.

"P-please, I want my first orgasm tonight to be with you~" I tugged again, and this time, he finally stopped. His face was covered in my slick. He was smirking up at me, too, as if he had just won a huge prize. "What?"

"You're so fucking adorable. And romantic." He hovered over me and kissed me once more, allowing me to taste myself. Moaning into the kiss, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. We just kissed like that again, savoring each other's warmth when I felt something bulgy  against my core.

I looked down and saw the bulge being restricted by his gray sweats. I just realized he was still fully clothed while I was completely exposed to him. "Hoonie~, take off your clothes!"

I whined as I straddled him. His eyes widened at your sudden boldness, but he let me do it. He even raises his arms to help me get his shirt off. Heck, he was loving my little stunt.

Sure, he said you'd be pillow princess tonight, but hey. Who is he to deny himself from witnessing you take control? As much as he wouldn't admit it out loud, he actually likes being taken care of every once in a while.

After Yeji was born, he was expected to always be the more mature one and take care  of her. He was forced to grow up too quickly and have people rely on him. So, times like these where he's the one getting served really means a lot to him.

He lovingly looked down at you, who now nipped over his clothed dick while giving him an innocent look. Fuck, you sure know bow to tease. To his relief, your tease act was quick, as you pulled both his pants and boxers down at once, letting his pretty cock slap against his stomach

Holy shit he's big. That's got to be at least 8 inches.

I realized I gawked at his throbbing dick for a few seconds too long when he was bucking his hips upward. When I looked up at his face, he had this damn sexy, desperate look.

I almost laughed at how eager he looked, but I held it in and grabbed at his just-as-eager dick instead. Gave it a few small pumps before I took it into my mouth, making his hands fly to my hair immediately.

I bobbed my head up and down his length a few times, but his grip on my hair became stronger. Before I knew it, he was fucking his dick into my mouth while he held my head in place. And I just let him. Hollowing my cheeks to give him an added tightness.

How could I not? The noises he's making right now makes me literally gush out in arousal.

I could feel him twitching inside of he, the bulbous head of his dick pulsing. It went on for a few minutes before he abruptly pulled my completely off of him.

When my lips disconnected with his dick, it made such a pornographic 'pop' sound, similar to how it sounded with what he did to my tits earlier.

"On your back, angel." He instructed, but he practically moved me to the position himself, keeping a hand under my thigh to keep it hoisted in mid-air.  He grabbed a condom from the drawer between the two beds and rolled it on himself.

When he was finished gearing himself up, he went back between my legs and raised them uo to his shoulders. Placing a kiss on my forehead, nose, and then lips, he asked, "are you ready?"

I could only nod, but instead, he tsked. "Words, angel. I need to hear you." "Yes, Sunghoon, please." That was all he needed to hear.

He began by just rubbing it against your hole a few times before finally pushing just the tip inside. Your slick made it a bit easier, but still, it hurt.

Sunghoon's sweet nothings and gentle strokes on my hair helped ease the sting of his dick stretching me out. It didn't take long for the pain to subside and make room for pleasure.

Feeling my walls flutter around him, Sunghoon looked at me one more time before he started to move. "Oh, fuck Sunghoon, you feel so good" "you feel even better, angel. Fuck"

His pace started off gentle, but the more he felt the way you clamped around him, the more he started to lose control. His hips snapped to meet yours at a harsh pace.

Your noises blended with his into a sweet symphony of your love, paired with the beat of wet skin slapping against one another. Hjs eyes bore into yours, and you swear if he looked any harder, he could see yours form into hearts.

A sudden wave of embarrassment flushed over me, making me tear my gaze away from him and trail downwards. Towards his lips.. his chest.. his abs.. then my. Oh.

His dick was bulging through my abdomen. Tighten. The sight made me moan, eliciting a groan from Sunghoon at how I squeezed him again.

He noticed how I was still looking down and followed my gaze. The bulge in my abdomen caught his attention in an instant. His dick twitched at it. "Oh fuck- Angel, you're so perfect."

My eyes were rolling back when his pace grew erratic. Everything felt so good. I could feel the tip of his dick kissing my cervix. He was hitting so good. So deep.

The familiar knot in my stomach formed again, and I could feel Sunghoon was close too. "You close, angel?" He said as he slapped a hand to my clit and rubbed at it. "Go ahead, come for me, sweetie."

My back arched at the overwhelming pleasure, "N-no! Ngh! P-please I wan' cum t'getherrr" I slurred, too focused on holding back my orgasm to actually speak coherently.

Shit, even if I wasn't focused on somethjng else right now, I know I still wouldn't be able to speak properly with how good he's dicking me down.

Sunghoon moaned at your words, really loving how affectionate you're being. "Okay, angel, just hold on for a bit more, alright?" He whispered, pressing more kisses on my shoulder.

He finally grew close, his voice becoming louder and higher. And so did yours. But at this point, you didn't care if the other occupants in the motel could hear you. All you cared about rjght nke was Sunghoon.

"Fuck. Okay. On my count.."  The three digits he counted down felt tantalizingly slow, but when he came down to the last one, I finally let go.

My eyes rolled back as I could practically see fireworks form. Sunghoon's dick twitched one more time before he finally came into the condom.

He let out a string of curses and praises as he came down from his high. Pulling out of you and throwing the condom away to the trash bin.

When he laid back down on the bed, he peppered you with kisses, cuddling you to his chest and rubbing sweet circles on your lower back. "Did it hurt too much?" His voice felt raspy and tired, yet still full of genuine concern.

"No, sweetie. You felt great. Best I've ever had." He quirked an eyebrow at you. "Oh yeah? That's wonderful to hear."

"Oh and Sunghoon, thee apple of my?" "Yes, thee love of my life?" I giggled for what felt like hundredth time today before I nuzzled my head to his chest. "This was my first time."

"Wait, what!?" He tried to push me off of his chest to see if I was lying or not, but I attached my body tightly to his so I could hide my smile.

Eventually, he stopped pushing and sighed. "You should've told me, and I would've taken you somewhere more special than this run-down motel." He grumbled, petting my hair again, letting his eyes droop.

Our drowiness finally creeped in on us, and we just laid there like that. Our legs tangled together, hearing each other's heartbeats and a veil of love draping over the two of us.

"I love you, Hoonie" "I love you more, angel."

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚

Final wc : 8.7k

Notes: WAH HOLY SHIt. I feel like this entire story was too random. I wanted to make it a very similar situation to Nana and Shoji's but had trouble making it as canon as possible.

Now to those who saw the trailer, I know I promised you a Figure skater! Sunghoon × Figure Skater! Reader, but I literally forgot about it 💀💀

I was writing this in my notes so I couldn't see what notes I tagged under it 😭😭

What was supposed to happen was Reader came back to her old habits, joining the figure skating club so she could grow closer to sunghoon.

But I forgot about the canon event so 🎀🎀🎀

I promise I'll make another fic using that dynamic to make it up to yall 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Hope u enjoyed ^^

[haesunshin]

sunset serenade | LTY

pairing: taeyong x f!reader ft. bff jaehyun, johnny and haechan

word count. 4.3k

genre. university!au, classmates, angst, fluff, romance. enemies to friends to lovers

summary. Y/N navigates through the bustling halls of university life, surrounded by close friends Johnny, Haechan, and Jaehyun. Her world shifts when she's paired with Taeyong for a university project, despite a childhood marked by a painful separation. Initially fueled by mutual animosity, Y/N and Taeyong gradually uncover shared memories that reignite deep emotions. Through late-night study sessions and unexpected encounters, their hostility transforms into a tentative friendship, and eventually, an unexplainable attraction.

a/n. i'm sorry i haven't been as active i would want to be, but i came back with a new ff and i hope you will like it <3

feedbacks, likes and reposts are appreciated!

---

I jolt awake as my alarm reads 7:30 AM. Another day at university. I stretch, get up, and peek out the window. The campus is already alive with activity. I grab my bag and head out to meet my friends at the cafeteria.

As I enter the cafeteria, I immediately spot Haechan, Johnny, and Jaehyun sitting at our usual table. Haechan is engrossed in his phone, Johnny is telling a joke to Jaehyun, who is laughing heartily.

"Hey, everyone," I greet as I sit down with them.

"Hey, Y/N," Johnny replies with a smile. "Ready for another day of classes?"

"Please don’t even talk about it," I say, laughing. "So, what's new?"

"Not much," Haechan responds. "Just the same old stuff. Johnny's telling his lame jokes again."

"You know you love them," Johnny retorts, chuckling.

I smile and turn to Jaehyun. "And you? What's new?"

"Just looking forward to the end of this semester," he says. "I think we're all eager for a break."

We finish our breakfast, chatting about various things, before heading to our first class. On the way, I notice Johnny talking to a guy who looks strangely familiar. I squint, trying to place where I've seen him before, but nothing comes to mind.

"Who's that guy with Johnny?" Jaehyun asks, noticing my curiosity.

"I don't know," I answer. "But he does look familiar."

---

Walking into biochemistry class, I take my usual seat. Mr. Kim, our professor, enters the room with a stack of papers in hand. He smiles at the class before addressing us.

"Good morning, everyone. Today, we're starting a group project that will last the entire semester. I've already assigned the groups, so listen carefully."

I take a deep breath, hoping to be paired with one of my friends. Mr. Kim starts reading out the names, and my heart sinks when he announces:

"Y/N and Taeyong."

I look around, searching for Taeyong. When our eyes meet, I immediately notice the coldness in his gaze. He doesn't seem pleased at all to be paired with me, which leaves me puzzled.

"Hi," I say, approaching him after class.

"Hi," he responds curtly, not even looking up from his notebook.

"I guess we'll be working together," I say, trying to lighten the mood.

"Seems like it," he says without any warmth, leaving.

And I’m leftI wondering why he's so cold towards me, especially since he seems to be good friends with Johnny. What did I do to deserve this?

---

The first few weeks of our group project are tense. Taeyong and I struggle to get along and our meetings are often filled with silence and unspoken tension. We work in our dorms, in cafés, and at the library, but the atmosphere remains frosty.

One day, while chatting with Johnny, I decide to ask him about Taeyong.

"John, do you perhaps know why Taeyong is acting so cold to me?"

He thinks for a moment before answering. "I'm not sure, but I know he went through some tough times in middle school. Maybe it has something to do with that."

That's when memories start coming back. Taeyong... that name, that face... everything suddenly becomes clear. He was the one who saved me that night at the end of middle school. How could I have forgotten?

---

(Flashback). It’s the end of our last year of middle school. The air is filled with excitement and chatter as students gather for the end-of-year party. I’m surrounded by my friends, laughing and enjoying the festivities, when suddenly, a group of older students appears. They're known troublemakers, their smirks and glances filled with malice.

I feel a knot of unease in my stomach as they approach, eyeing me with disdain. One of them, taller and more intimidating than the rest, steps forward. "So, you think you're better than us, huh?" he sneers, his voice laced with venom.

I glance nervously at my friends, but before anyone can react, the situation escalates. Rough hands grab me, pulling me away from the safety of my group and into a dimly lit alley behind the school. Panic grips me as I struggle against their grip, my heart racing with fear.

"Let her go!" a voice rings out, breaking through the tense silence. I recognize the voice instantly—Taeyong. He emerges from the shadows, his presence commanding despite his slight frame. His eyes are steely with determination as he steps between me and the bullies.

"Leave her alone," he says firmly, his voice betraying only a hint of nervousness.

The leader of the group scoffs, his smirk widening. "What are you gonna do about it, huh? You think you can take us all on?"

Taeyong squares his shoulders, his fists clenched at his sides. "I said, leave her alone."

For a moment, time seems to stand still. Then, with a sudden burst of aggression, the bullies lunge at Taeyong. He fights back bravely, trading blows and dodging attacks with surprising agility. Despite being outnumbered, he holds his ground, his determination unwavering.

The alley echoes with the sounds of grunts and shuffling feet, but Taeyong doesn’t back down. He fights not just to defend me, but to protect something deeper—a sense of justice and courage that shines through even in the face of danger.

Finally, adults arrive, drawn by the commotion. They quickly intervene, pulling the students apart and dispersing the crowd. Taeyong stands battered and bruised, blood trickling from a cut on his cheek, but his gaze finds mine with a faint, reassuring smile.

"Thank you," I whisper, my voice trembling with gratitude and relief.

---

As I fully recover and remember the events, I’m overwhelmed with guilt. How could I have forgotten what he did for me? Why is he so cold now? I need to know. But every time I try to approach him, he ignores me or becomes even more distant.

The weeks pass by, filled with tense meetings and strained interactions between Taeyong and me as we work on our biochemistry project. Each session is marked by awkward silences and terse exchanges, a stark contrast to the easy camaraderie I share with Johnny, Haechan, and Jaehyun.

One afternoon, after another particularly silent study session in the library, I decide it’s time to confront Taeyong about his cold demeanor. I catch up with him as we leave the library together.

"Taeyong," I begin tentatively, falling into step beside him, "can we talk?"

He glances at me briefly, his expression guarded. "About what?"

"About us," I reply honestly, trying to keep my voice steady despite the nervous flutter in my stomach. "About why things have been so... strained between us."

He keeps walking, his pace steady but his eyes avoiding mine. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I pause, feeling frustration and hurt bubbling up inside me. "Taeyong, we used to be friends in middle school. What happened to that?"

He stops abruptly, turning to face me with a mixture of anger and sadness in his eyes. "That was a long time ago, Y/N. A lot has changed since then."

"But why are you so distant with me?" I press, my voice pleading for understanding. "You're friends with Johnny. What did I do to make you treat me like this?"

He sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair. "It's not about you, okay? It's... it's complicated."

"Then help me understand," I implore, stepping closer to him. "Please, Taeyong. I want to know."

For a moment, he looks torn, his emotions warring within him. Finally, he speaks, his voice quiet but filled with pain. "Do you remember that night at the end of middle school?"

I nod slowly, remembering the fear and relief of that evening. "Yes, of course."

"After that night," he continues, his gaze fixed on the ground, "things changed for me. I felt... abandoned."

My heart sinks as I realize the depth of his feelings. "Taeyong, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"You left," he interrupts softly, his voice cracking with emotion. "You left without saying goodbye."

"I didn't know what to do," I whisper, tears welling up in my eyes. "My parents moved us away so suddenly."

He shakes his head, his frustration evident. "You don't understand. I needed you, and you weren't there."

"I know," I reply, my voice barely a whisper. "I'm sorry, Taeyong. I'm so sorry."

He looks at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of hurt and longing. "I tried to forget about that night, about you. But every time I saw you again, it brought back all those feelings."

"I never meant to hurt you," I say earnestly, reaching out to touch his arm. "I wish I could go back and change things."

He pulls away gently, his expression conflicted. "It's not that simple, Y/N."

"I know," I say softly, my heart breaking for the pain I've caused him. "But I want to try to make things right. Please, Taeyong."

---

Our meetings for the project continue in our dorms. Despite our initial animosity, a certain camaraderie begins to form between Taeyong and me. Gradually, I find myself enjoying his company more than I expected.

One evening, as we were working late in the library, Taeyong breaks the usual silence with a question. "So, Y/N, what made you choose biochemistry?"

I look up from my notes, surprised by his sudden interest. "Oh, well, I've always been fascinated by how living organisms function at a molecular level. It's like solving a puzzle, piece by piece."

He nods thoughtfully. "That makes sense. It's impressive."

"Thanks," I reply, feeling a bit flustered by his compliment. "And what about you? What's your passion?"

Taeyong hesitates for a moment, as if considering his answer carefully. "I've always been drawn to music," he finally says. "It's my way of expressing myself when words fail."

"That's beautiful," I remark, genuinely touched by his honesty.

As the night progresses, our conversation flows more freely. We share anecdotes about our childhood, discuss our favorite books and movies, and even joke about our initial dislike for each other. Surprisingly, Taeyong has a dry sense of humor that catches me off guard, making me laugh more than once.

At one point, he looks at me with a small smile. "You know, Y/N, I’m glad we started things over, you're not as bad as I thought you were."

I chuckle softly. "Likewise, Taeyong. Turns out, we might actually make a decent team."

He nods in agreement. "Yeah, I guess we do."

---

As weeks pass and our project nears completion, Taeyong and I find ourselves meeting one last time at a cozy café near campus. The atmosphere is serene, with soft jazz music playing in the background and the comforting aroma of coffee filling the air.

I arrive a few minutes early and settle into a corner booth, watching the door anxiously until Taeyong walks in with a warm smile. He sits across from me, and we exchange brief greetings before diving into our project notes.

"So, for this section," Taeyong begins, pointing to a paragraph in our report, "I think we should emphasize the implications of the latest research findings."

I nod in agreement, impressed by his insights. "That would definitely strengthen our argument," I agree, jotting down some notes.

As we discuss our ideas and make final adjustments, I can't help but notice the ease with which we work together now. The initial tension has given way to a shared sense of purpose and mutual respect.

After a while, Taeyong sets down his pen and leans back in his chair, studying me thoughtfully. "Y/N," he starts, his voice gentle, "this project is almost done."

I look up from my notes, meeting his gaze curiously. "Yeah, it's hard to believe it's almost over."

He nods slowly. "Yeah... which means we won't have to meet like this anymore."

A pang of sadness tugs at my heart as I realize the implications of his words. "Yeah," I reply softly, trying to mask the disappointment in my voice. "I guess we won't."

Taeyong frowns slightly, his expression conflicted. "I've... I've enjoyed working with you, Y/N."

"Me too," I admit quietly, my gaze dropping to the table. "It's been... surprisingly nice."

He leans forward, his voice earnest. "Y/N, I..." He trails off, as if unsure how to continue.

I look up at him, my heart racing with anticipation. "Taeyong?"

He takes a deep breath, his eyes searching mine. "I just... I want you to know that I appreciate you," he says finally, his words carefully chosen. "For everything. For being patient with me, for understanding."

A warmth spreads through me at his words, and I realize with a jolt that my feelings for him have grown beyond friendship. But I hesitate, unsure if now is the right time to confess.

"I appreciate you too, Taeyong," I reply softly, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "More than you know."

He smiles back, a genuine warmth in his eyes. "Thank you, Y/N."

We sit in comfortable silence for a moment, the unspoken tension between us palpable. I want to tell him how I feel, to let him know that my feelings have changed, but the words catch in my throat.

"Taeyong," I start tentatively, breaking the silence, "what happens after this project?"

He looks at me, his expression thoughtful. "I guess... we go back to our lives," he says quietly, his gaze dropping to his hands.

A wave of disappointment washes over me, mingled with regret for not speaking up sooner. "Yeah," I murmur, feeling a lump in my throat. "Back to normal."

But inside, nothing feels normal anymore. Everything has changed between us, and I'm left grappling with the realization that I might have missed my chance to tell Taeyong how I truly feel.

As we gather our belongings to leave the café, I steal glances at Taeyong, my heart heavy with unspoken words. The weight of what could have been hangs between us, a silent ache that I'm not sure how to heal.

But as we part ways, I cling to a flicker of hope—that maybe, just maybe, there will be another chance for us, another moment where I can find the courage to confess my feelings and hope he feels the same way too.

---

After our emotional conversation at the café, I feel overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. That evening, I decide to FaceTime Haechan, Johnny, and Jaehyun to share everything that has happened with Taeyong. They answer almost immediately, their faces filled with curiosity and concern.

"Y/N! What's going on? You look like you've been through a rollercoaster," Johnny exclaims, leaning closer to the screen.

"Yeah, spill it!" Haechan chimes in, his expression serious but playful.

I take a deep breath, trying to compose myself as I recount the story of Taeyong and me—from our childhood friendship to our recent reconciliation over the biochemistry project. They listen intently, their expressions shifting from surprise to empathy.

"So, let me get this straight," Jaehyun says slowly, processing the information. "You've been harboring feelings for Taeyong all this time?"

I nod, feeling a rush of nerves as I admit the truth to my friends. "Yeah. I think... I think I've fallen for him."

Haechan lets out a whistle, shaking his head in disbelief. "Wow, Y/N. That's intense."

Johnny leans closer to the camera, his voice gentle. "What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know," I reply honestly, feeling a mix of hope and uncertainty. "I think... maybe I should tell him how I feel."

"You've got to talk to him," Jaehyun adds, his tone encouraging. "You owe it to yourself, Y/N. Don't let fear hold you back."

Their words resonate deeply within me, filling me with determination. "You're right," I say with a small smile. "I'll talk to him."

As we say our goodbyes and end the call, I feel a renewed sense of purpose. Tomorrow, I'll face Taeyong and finally confess what's been in my heart all this time.

---

The next day arrives swiftly, and with it, a mix of nerves and excitement as Taeyong and I prepare to present our biochemistry project to the class. Mr. Kim welcomes us warmly as we step up to the front of the room, the PowerPoint slides ready and our notes organized.

"Today, Y/N and Taeyong will be presenting their research on enzyme kinetics," Mr. Kim announces to the class, his eyes twinkling with anticipation.

Taeyong and I exchange a quick glance, our nerves momentarily forgotten as we launch into our presentation. We speak with confidence, explaining our findings and analysis with clarity and enthusiasm. As we reach the conclusion, I feel a sense of pride knowing how far we've come together.

Mr. Kim listens attentively throughout, nodding approvingly at key points and occasionally interjecting with insightful questions. When we finish, he applauds warmly, a smile of satisfaction spreading across his face.

"Excellent work, Y/N and Taeyong," he praises, his voice resonating with genuine admiration. "You've demonstrated a deep understanding of the subject matter and presented your research with clarity and precision. I'm truly impressed."

Taeyong and I exchange grateful smiles, the tension of the presentation melting away in the glow of Mr. Kim's praise. As we gather our things to leave, I catch Haechan, Johnny, and Jaehyun's proud smiles from the back of the room, their silent encouragement giving me a surge of confidence.

---

After class, the campus bustles with students heading off to their next destinations. I remember my friends words and linger near the classroom, summoning the courage to finally confront Taeyong about something I've been avoiding for far too long.

"Hey, Taeyong," I begin, trying to keep my voice steady despite the nervousness bubbling inside me. "Can we talk?"

He hesitates for a moment, then nods slowly. "Sure, Y/N. What's on your mind?"

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I gather my thoughts. "I... I was wondering if we could meet later this afternoon. Maybe at the park?"

His eyebrows furrow with curiosity. "Sure, but why?"

"There's something important I need to discuss with you," I reply, feeling a surge of nerves and anticipation.

Taeyong's expression softens, and he gives me a small smile. "Okay, Y/N. I'll meet you there."

As the afternoon arrives, I find myself at the park, anxiously waiting for Taeyong. The sun hangs low in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow over everything. I've dressed in a floral dress, hoping to look pretty, and with an hopeful feeling inside me despite my jittery nerves.

When Taeyong arrives, he looks genuinely surprised to see me there, setting up a small picnic under a shady tree. He sits down beside me, and we start chatting casually, the unspoken tension between us palpable.

After a while, the conversation naturally slows, and I gather my courage. "Taeyong," I begin, my voice trembling slightly, "there's something I need to tell you."

He turns to me, his gaze intense and expectant. "What is it, Y/N?"

He listens attentively, his gaze unwavering as I gather my thoughts. "I... I've realized that... I've developed feelings for you, Taeyong," I confess, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment and hope.

He blinks in surprise, his expression momentarily unreadable. For a moment, he doesn't say anything, his eyes searching mine with a mixture of surprise and contemplation. Then, without warning, he steps closer, gently cupping my face in his hands, he suddenly leans in and kisses me softly, his lips warm against mine. My heart skips a beat as I melt into the kiss, overwhelmed yet exhilarated by the rush of emotions.

When we finally pull back, Taeyong rests his forehead against mine, his eyes searching mine tenderly. "Y/N," he murmurs softly, his voice tinged with emotion, "I've... I've loved you for a long time, since middle school, actually."

I gasp softly, my heart swelling with joy and relief. "But... why didn't you say anything?"

He sighs, his thumb brushing gently against my cheek. "After you moved away, I thought... I thought you had forgotten about me. Seeing you again at university brought back everything I felt back then. But I didn't know how to tell you."

Tears well up in my eyes as I realize the depth of his feelings. "Taeyong, I'm so sorry," I whisper, guilt washing over me. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

He pulls me into a warm embrace, his arms wrapping around me protectively. "I'm sorry for pushing you away," he murmurs against my hair. "I should have been more mature about everything."

I bury my face in his shoulder, feeling the weight of past misunderstandings finally lifting. "Thank you, Taeyong," I murmur, my voice muffled against his shirt. "Thank you for being patient with me."

"It's okay," I reply, tears of relief and happiness streaming down my cheeks. "I understand now."

He pulls back slightly, cupping my face in his hands. "No more apologies, okay? We both made mistakes. But now, we can move forward together."

I nod, a smile spreading across my face. "Together."

As the sun begins to set, casting a warm glow over us, we continue our picnic and we stand together in the embrace, our hearts finally open and our feelings laid bare, sharing stories and laughter. The air is filled with a newfound sense of closeness and understanding, a promise of a future where our love can blossom freely.

And in that moment, beneath the fading light of a sunny afternoon, I know that everything we've been through has led us to this beautiful, unexpected love—a love that I will cherish for the rest of my life, and as we walk home hand in hand, I know that with Taeyong by my side, I've found not only love but also forgiveness and a chance to heal the scars of our past, together.

Epilogue:

The next morning, Taeyong and I arrive at our class hand in hand, both of us sporting wide smiles that we can't seem to wipe off our faces. As we step through the door, the playful whistles and cheers from our friends greet us.

"Look who finally made it official!" Jaehyun exclaims with a grin, earning laughter from Johnny.

Haechan playfully whines, "I'm so jealous! Sick of being single, you know?"

This earns a round of laughter from everyone, including Taeyong and me. Jaehyun and Johnny clap us on the back, grinning broadly. "About time, you two figured it out!" Johnny exclaims with a chuckle. "You had us all waiting forever."

Jaehyun nods in agreement. "Seriously, though, we're really happy for you guys. You make a great couple."

Taeyong and I exchange a shy smile, as he squeezes my hand gently, his eyes shining with happiness and relief. "Thank you, guys," he says sincerely, his voice filled with gratitude. "For everything."

As we settle into our seats, the warmth of our friends' support surrounds us like a comforting embrace. The class continues with Mr. Kim congratulating us on our project, commending our teamwork and dedication, Mr. Kim notices the commotion and smiles knowingly. "I'm glad to see teamwork paying off both in and out of the classroom," he remarks, giving us a nod of approval.

Throughout the day, Taeyong and I are inseparable, stealing glances and sharing secret smiles. It feels like the beginning of something beautiful, a journey we're finally taking together after so many missed chances and misunderstandings.

After class, as we gather our belongings to head to lunch, Taeyong leans in close to me. "I'm glad we took that chance yesterday," he whispers, his voice soft but filled with certainty.

I smile up at him, feeling a rush of love and gratitude. "Me too," I reply quietly. "I wouldn't change a thing."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: May 2024

you guyssssss you guys you guys you guys I've been reading so much this month :)

sometimes my brain gets the itch to just DEVOUR books and it's really been on me, probably thanks to the burst of energy + free time that comes with the semester ending and summer getting started! the days are longer, the last of my season depression has been kicked to the curb, and I can spend hours reading on the porch every evening. the ideal!

right now, as the month ends, I'm feeling a particular hankering towards nonfiction and juicy new summer novels; I reblogged a Lit Hub roundup of new books the other day that got my brain buzzinggggg with excitement for the coming months. we'll see if that ends up manifesting in the June roundup, but for now, here's what kept me busy in May:

Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble (Alexis Hall, 2022) - this month I read two romance novels picked by my beautiful patreonites; I did a compare/contrast between the two over on Patreon and I'll leave the majority of my thoughts there, but suffice to say that I am not a fan of Paris. definitely the weakest of the three Alexis Hall novels, and a real disappointment since I found the other two delightful. the story is straightforward enough and has some potential for sure, but Paris as a protagonist is a sodden mess who I found just insufferable. thumbs down from me, gang.

Chef's Kiss (TJ Alexander, 2022) - hi, it's the other romance novel. this one is a lot goofier than Paris Daillencourt, which is fitting since it's BA Test Kitchen rpf starring a bisexual Claire Saffitz and a nonbinary Brad Leone. it's frustrating because the story is definitely stronger than the one in Paris but the romance is piteously undercooked, although I was at least fine with the protag and her love interest getting together - they were boring but unobjectionable, unlike Paris and his love interest who I really thought would have been better off as friends. now that I'm thinking about it, you might get a perfect queer cooking show romance novel if you somehow mashed the two of them together. they're both, like, so close to working, but ultimately fall flat.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 4-6 (Ryoko Kui, 2018) - I don't even know what to say except that I'm still loving everything about Dungeon Meshi. the craft and thought that Kui puts into every facet of the world, from the big picture politics between fantasy races to the individual thoughts and feelings of each character, shows so much love for the world without ever being overbearing; it never feels like exposition is being hammered down my throat so much as little details are being tastefully arranged to be enjoyed at whatever speed and to whatever extent the reader likes. the world is getting bigger with each chapter and I'm looking forward to exploring more, especially now that Falin's hottie monster form and that good good catgirl have entered the chat.

Earthdivers Vol. 2: Ice Age (Stephen Graham Jones, Riccardo Burchielli, Patricio Depeche, Emily Schnall, Joana Lafuente, 2024) - once again I've done the worst thing that you can do as a comics fan, which is get invested in a series that's just starting out and is still releasing individual issues. the third trade paperback won't be out until December, so I guess I'm either going to have to go on hiatus with Earthdivers or start chasing down new releases on comic pirating sites, which feels shitty - that's how I read Batman comics that are the same age as me, not new stuff from authors I actually want to support! but Earthdivers might just be worth it. the second installment takes us to a wildly different setting than the first, Columbus-killing collection, dropping fearsome mother Tawny in a prehistoric North America. but while the setting changes, the series is still grappling with the question of what its protagonists are willing to sacrifice and who they're willing to become to change the past and save the world. we're starting to see bigger hints about how much history can be altered and catching some clues about the series' antagonist (???); I gotta know what happens next.

Prairie Fires: The American Dreams of Laura Ingalls Wilder (Caroline Fraser, 2017) - here it is, the book that got nonfic so powerfully on the brain! this is a riveting history whether you grew up on Little House on the Prairie or not (I didn't), tracking Laura Ingalls Wilder from an impoverished girl constantly imperiled by life on the prairie to a beloved icon of American propaganda. for me, personally, this hefty book really picks up when it gets to the endlessly complicated and frequently nasty relationship that Wilder had with her daughter when said daughter was grown; Rose Wilder Lane is a FASCINATING figure in her own right and I'm kind of obsessed with what a shithead grifter girlboss she was. fascinating stuff all around.

The Brides of High Hill (Nghi Vo, 2024) - Vo's series of Singing Hills novellas has always woven from one genre to another, exploring new types of stories just as our protagonist, the cleric Chih, explores new lands. this installation takes us straight into a gothic horror that pulls out all the stops: an isolated manor, an enigmatic madman roaming the grounds, the strangling snares of social conventions, and a blushing bride who isn't exactly what she seems. I read it in one sitting, it's delicious.

Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Arielle Greenberg, 2023) - a poppin' primer for anybody who wants to learn more about the world of kink and what the fuck is going on out there. at one point I did catch myself thinking that I was a little underwhelmed and that Greenberg wasn't really putting forth anything that radical, but then I realized that speaking extremely candidly about and validating interest in basically any kink or fetish imaginable, and yes I do mean straight up any of them, is actually A Lot for many people to handle. so, yeah, good book, check it out for a friendly and enthusiastic intro to the wide world of kink.

Sex Criminals Vol. 2: Two Worlds, One Cop (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2015) - the first volume of Sex Criminals left me feeling a little meh, but I decided to keep going because Matt Fraction's Hawkeye run was lifechanging and I know this series is pretty widely acclaimed, so I want to see where we're going with this. (plus it's free via the library, so what do I have to lose?) this volume really sold me on the series and particularly on Jon, who I was pretty lukewarm on initially. he really stole the spotlight in this one, and I like the way that the story is ratcheting up the stakes.

The Stone Sky (N.K. Jemisin, 2017) - GOOOOOOOOOD what a book! what a trilogy! in a series shaped by empires and natural disasters, the story ultimately ends with a quit confrontation of clashing ideologies, a young daughter determined to end the world and a mother equally determined that one of her children should live. and that shit hurts! I read the series a couple of times when I was younger but I was never before able to fully appreciate the work Jemisin does in crafting Essun and Nassun, showing us the way cruelty and fear have shaped both of them into the people they ultimately are and the choices they make. absolutely masterful, a legend.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World in Search of the Good Death (Caitlin Doughty, 2017) - this was another reread, and while N.K. Jemisin was blowing my mind, Caitlin Doughty was giving me a warm hug. I don't know what to tell you, reading about the ways that people all over the world care for their dead and take comfort in their memories makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. death can be really beautiful and comforting, if you're not a coward.

The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag (Sasha Velour, 2023) - listen, I'm not really a Drag Race girlie. I first heard about this book when Velour was a guest on Nicole Byers' podcast, and while I was very charmed by her I was not expecting to be blown away by her book. it's just a little cash-in for a Ru girl, right? all she needs to do is slap together some cool pictures of her in drag and a few platitudes about being yourself and boom bang, that's a book. but readers, I owe Sasha Velour an apology: this book was so much cooler and smarter than it needed to be! Velour brings an impressive eye to forces of colonialism and capitalism that shape art and conceptions of queerness, and keeps this framework firmly in place while keeping the tone of the book bubbly and lighthearted. she also goes out of her way to spotlight a huge variety of drag performers and gender nonconforming figures throughout history, celebrating all the different means of expression that make up the tapestry of contemporary queerness. a great read, and one that I've already shelled out for. a friend and I are working on a documentary exploring the nuances of queer style, and I know I'm gonna want to pull heavily from Velour's thoughts and the history she's curated.

[blueskittlesart]

Question abt drawing: been trying to attempt learning how to draw forever but I always have trouble getting over the obstacle of having to learn/study things like anatomy and shading, which then causes me to stop drawing and have a harder time picking it back up. I know it's important for improving your art and yourself as an artist but I can't help but see it as tedious and overwhelming, especially the anatomy since it's more on the science side of things and science is not my thing lol. Do you have any advice on how to get over it or work thru it?

i think there's a couple facets to this question. firstly i'd recommend you consider what exactly your end goal is in learning how to draw: do you specifically want to be able to produce anatomically accurate figures and true-to-life shading, or do you just want to be able to make something for fun that looks good to you? one of the most helpful things I ever learned at art school was that accuracy doesn't matter if it looks good. 99% of my art isn't strictly anatomically accurate, and part of that is stylization, but even when i'm doing realistic figure drawings i like to lengthen limbs and exaggerate curves in order to make my drawings look better. So if your only real goal with art is to make something that looks good and enjoy the process, my first piece of advice would be to stop worrying so much about stuff like perfect accuracy! if you use references and keep pushing yourself, the skill and understanding you're looking for will come naturally with time. before I was ever classically trained, I got pretty far just by drawing my favorite characters in different poses and situations over and over again, and that experience laid the groundwork for when classical training did become available to me. Just because you're not necessarily doing serious figure studies doesn't mean you're not getting valuable practice--what it means is that you're having FUN while you're practicing, and having fun with your art is the most important thing!!!

Secondly, you mentioned anatomy being on the science side of things, which suggests to me that you may be looking in the wrong places when trying to do more serious anatomical study. if you look up 'anatomy' or anything similar on a web search engine, you're likely going to get a lot of very complex scientific illustrations. and while those aren't necessarily devoid of artistic value (I took a class all about scientific anatomy for artists last semester and it was GREAT) for a beginner who's just trying to learn how to make a body look like a body, they're not what you're looking for. what is going to be much more helpful for you are sites like line of action or quickposes. these sites are basically repositories of figure drawing images, and you can set them to automatically switch to a new image after a certain interval of time. if you really, desperately want to improve your anatomy specifically, what I recommend is going to one of these sites, setting it to the shortest interval possible, and trying to copy the pose as closely as you can before time is up. this might sound crazy, since the shortest interval is usually somewhere between 30-60 seconds, which obviously isn't enough to get much down. but what this will do is force you to look at how these models' bodies are constructed and translate it onto the page quickly and without overthinking it. be warned, your first maybe hundred of these are going to look like shit. but if you do this enough, you're eventually going to gain an intrinsic sense for 1. how a body works and 2. the easiest way for you personally to construct a body when drawing it. even without knowing the scientific names and anatomical rules, you're going to get a FEEL for how things work, which is much more important and useful to you as a character artist.

Finally, i think the most important thing to remember is that no art is bad art, even if you're not satisfied with the end product. when you're first starting out as an artist, you're going to make things that don't look right and you're going to be frustrated with yourself because of it. i vividly remember crying over a sketchbook at maybe age 11 or 12 because I was so upset i couldn't put exactly what was in my head on the page. Skill comes with time and practice and that is a frustrating fact of life, but no time spent doing something you enjoy and are passionate about is wasted. It might look bad now but you are laying the groundwork for your future success, and someday you're probably going to look back on your past work and say "I can't believe I thought this looked bad back then. for my age and my skill level i was doing AMAZING." And as previously mentioned, it's a lot less discouraging when something looks bad if you had fun making it, so try to have FUN with your art. draw things you enjoy and are passionate about and don't worry if it looks bad. focus on the experience, the skill will come in time. you've got this!!

[godlygreta]

god is fair | j. t. kiszka

title | god is fair

word count | 7.7k

warnings | swearing, mentions of alcohol - nothing too terrible... yet ;)

author's note | i've had this in the chamber for some time now, i just lost the inspo to write, which is why i haven't in a long time. this isn't a promise that i'll post more fics as they come to me, seeing as i'm a senior in college who has a fuck ton of other things to do. there will be a part 2 to this fic, but i couldn't tell you when it's coming :)

also, very much so listening to god is fair, sexy nasty by mac miller while writing this & starting the next part, so take that as you will ;)

unedited as hell so pls excuse any mistakes !

You always had this rivalry since the beginning of freshman year. This guy, Jake, would never show up to any of the classes the two of you had together, but always got the highest grades on every single goddamn exam that your Intro to Bio professor gave out. It infuriated you.

You figured that in the spring semester, you would be freed from the disappearing boy, but you weren’t. While the teacher called roll, everyone shouted out here. She landed upon his name, calling out to the class and looking through the rows of students. He had been there for orientation, sitting in one of the middle rows, slouched in his seat.

You planned to confront him the next day you had class together, on Wednesday, but Jake was nowhere to be found. Your roommate and your friends had heard your exhaustive theories as to why he was never in class. “Babe, you sound insane. Just let it go.”

But you couldn’t.

Competition lived deep within your roots, having an entire competition with the second top student in your graduating class in high school. Though the rage held between each other was never taken far outside of the academic realm, the two of you never thought to be friends and encourage one another. Thankfully, the two of you resolved the competition when the two of you realized you would be going into two very separate fields of study in college. 

Camren, who knew she was going to be a chemist from the time she first learned about chemistry, had told you she loved the competition – made it fun and kept things interesting. And there you were, going to school for Pre-Med with the same feeling. The two of you kept in contact, updating each other on the strive for greatness in college as well.

You kept a close relationship with a lot of your teachers, making sure to get on their good side before classes had really begun. You emailed most of them, especially your Anatomy and Physiology professor, Dr. Sahnya Heinz.

She was incredibly skilled in her field, leaving the active medical field to teach the new and future minds of medicine. It was a cliche line she delivered on the first day, but it encouraged that familiar competitive fire that dwelled within you.

You don’t quite remember how you came to figure out that Jake was ahead of you, but you had found out somehow from your professor, although it was an accident.

It made everything in you burn with anger and frustration. Anytime someone mentioned him, or mentioned the fact that you were second, you clenched your jaw and your teeth gritted together. Your friends had an inside joke that you were only mad because you had a huge crush on him.

“I barely even know what he looks like, Mel! I fucking hate the guy. Don’t start shit.” You’d plead, beer can in your hand in the lounge of some fraternity floor.

Over the next few semesters, you kept trying your hardest, spending most of your free time in the library, reading everything that you could to prepare for every exam. You wrote papers early, having them done at least three weeks in advance. As soon as you would be told about a new one, you’d immediately start finding sources.

You sauntered around campus, thinking that you would be way ahead of him. He still never showed up to any classes, aside from orientation and exam periods. You’d stare at him for a few moments while the teacher passed out the exam, looking over his face as much as you could.

His long hair would obscure your vision on occasion, making it hard to catch any of his features at all. From what you could see though, he had nice, full lips. His nose was something you could have stared at the entire exam period.

You watched him as he licked his lips, whispering a thank you to Heinz before grabbing his pencil from his desk and getting to work. You looked away from him as soon as Heinz put your exam on your desk, offering her a small smile and a quick thank you before getting to work.

It was almost spring break, meaning some of your assignments had been slowing, some of them had been increasing. A group of your friends from different majors told you about one of the lounge parties a fraternity on campus was throwing. “Sigma Tau has the worst lounge parties, Tamia. You know this.”

“They’re joining forces with the Delta’s though, so it’ll be better than normal! You have to come, you’ve always got your nose in a book. You haven’t drank with us in so long, I forget what you’re like when you’re drunk.”

“I don’t know… I need to work on this Midterm paper I have in Kainz’s class, it’s due next week.”

“Babe, it’s been done for weeks! You just keep editing it trying to find mistakes and there are none! I’ve literally read it five times. Please, go out with us, just tonight?”

You looked between Tamia and Mel, knowing in the end you would give into them anyways. “Ugh, fine! Tonight, and tonight only, just this once. If I don’t like it, though, I’m leaving and going to bed early.”

“You’ll have so much fun, I swear!” Mel and Tamia looked between each other, sharing expressions of excitement and happiness on their faces. You rolled your eyes, standing up from your chair.

You let them raid your closet, trying to throw something together quickly. Most of the time, Tamia and Mel never obeyed the dress code for the lounge parties, hating the idea of giving into the male gaze of the fraternity brothers. Tonight, however, was a bit different. The theme was Western, meaning it was cowboy hats and very tiny shorts.

You looked over the outfit that laid out in front of you, straw cowboy hat that Tamia had bought from Amazon (one for each of you), a pair of short shorts that may or may not show your ass a bit, and a red bandana top that Mel let you borrow last semester that you forgot to return. “I don’t know about this. I don’t even have the right shoes.”

“You forget we wear the same size, bitch, you’re going. No backing out.” They joked, tossing you a pair of white boots. “Just put that shit on while we heat up the curling iron, okay?”

“Fine, fine, okay.” You peel off your shirt, throwing on the one they picked out. Next to go were your pajama pants, which were replaced by the shorts. You kept the same socks on, knowing that nobody would see them anyways with the boots going up to the middle of your calf muscle. “I look fucking ridiculous.”

“You look fucking hot, now sit down while we do your hair and makeup,” Mel spoke, pulling out your desk chair while Tamia smiled wickedly with the curling wand in hand. You were nervous, looking at the both of them, but the good kind that settled under your skin and was left hidden behind the smallest smile.

You talked about upcoming exams with them while they did your hair and makeup, much to their dismay. They attempted to fill you in on the various drama situations going on around campus while you had been heavily plugged into your textbooks. You gasped often, finding shock and awe in some of the things they had been telling you about classmates.

They spoke about Jake, letting it slip that he had been planning on attending the party, joined at the hip with one of the girls he had been rumored to have been dating. One of the many. “Ugh, he just sounds like a douche. Gives me even more reason to hate him.”

“We’re not feeding into your delusion that he’s some douchebag. Dropping it.” Tamia spoke, putting her hands up in a surrender. Mel laughed, pulling away from you with an eyeliner pen in hand. “Maybe we’ll get you drunk enough to admit you like him.”

“I don’t like him, and I thought we were dropping the topic.” You looked at Tamia in the mirror, watching her face deadpan as she looked back at you.

“I have something hot in my hands, don’t be rude to me.” The three of you laughed, getting back into the rhythm of getting ready. You let them do their thing to you, curling the last bit of your hair and putting the finishing touches of highlighter on your brow bone.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, marveling at the job they did. You thanked them for getting you all dolled up, watching them change into their outfits. It was mostly just them taking off the sweats they were wearing, throwing them over the back of your desk chair. You took a few pictures with them in your mirror before finally deciding to head out.

The party had started a half an hour ago, walking into the party late like most people did. The three of you got in easily with matching the dress code, immediately looking for the drinks table. The boys in charge handed the three of you a free shot of anything you wanted. Mel chose for you, starting the night out roughly with a shot of Svedka.

You grabbed a Sprite from one of the boys in one hand, the shot of Svedka in the other. The three of you tapped your glasses together before downing the shot. The alcohol burned as it slipped down your throat, trying to soothe it with the taste and coolness of the Sprite. You shook a bit, throwing the cup away in a nearby trash can.

“That was fucking gross, I hate you so much for choosing Svedka.”

“I could’ve chosen something even more nasty, like Jack.” Mel laughed, leading the three of you over to a section in the lounge where you could stand a decent enough distance away from one another, instead of being piled on top of one another.

“I would have rather taken a shot of Jack, Mel.” You spoke, sipping more of your Sprite. Tamia pointed out a few of the people they had talked about earlier, letting you put names to faces.

In the midst, two of the Sigma brothers decided to start a dance battle, capturing the attention of those around them. Everyone joined in, gathering around the two guys. Mel and Tamia joined too, but you had slipped out of their grasp by telling them you had to use the bathroom.

You were happy to escape the party, sneaking out with a bottle of Smirnoff the boys had left unattended. You walked outside, taking a deep breath in. You were thankful to be met with the smell of fresh air, not smelling sweat and booze everywhere. Your peace and tranquility was ruined by someone’s voice, “Well, don’t you look adorable.”

Your head snapped towards the voice, seeing Jake sitting up against the bike rack with a cigarette between his fingers. “Shut up.”

“What? I can’t compliment you?”

“No,” you started, crossing your arms with the bottle still in your hand. “No, you can’t.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I hate you.” Jake looked at you, up and down, taking a drag of his cigarette. You screwed off the cap of the bottle, taking a pull. You tried your hardest to not make a face, looking away slightly when the familiar sting settled in your throat.

“Why do you hate me? I’ve never spoken to you before.”

“Do I have to have a reason?” You asked, walking closer to him.

“Suppose not. But if I knew why you hated me,” he tossed his cigarette butt on the ground, stomping on it with his boot. “Then maybe I could find a way to make you not hate me.”

“Unless you flunk your next exam, I guarantee that won’t happen.”

“Oh, I get it.” He chuckled, standing up from the bike rack he was leaning against. He grabbed his cigarette butt up from the ground, tossing it into the nearest garbage can. He turned towards you, staring at you with his brown eyes. “You’re just mad because I’m smarter than you.”

“You’re never in class. You shouldn’t be ahead of me.” You glared at him, lips moving into a frown.

“Just because I’m never there doesn’t mean I’m not getting the information. I work five, sometimes six days a week. We only have class three days a week. Typically, I gotta work those days. Heinz sends me the powerpoints and the assignment notes so I never miss anything.”

“Oh yeah? Where do you even work then?” You asked.

He chuckled, fingers brushing yours that were wrapped around the bottle. “Now if I told you that, it would ruin all the fun,” he looked you up and down once more, licking his lips slightly. “Well, maybe I’ll see you and your bottle inside.” 

You waited til the doors closed behind him to roll your eyes, and huff outwardly. You took the bottle of Smirnoff, turned on your heels and walked towards your dorm hall. You hated Jake. You really hated Jake.

—

Your midterms came and went. The stress decreased slightly, but only to be raised again as the end of the semester loomed around. Assignments started piling up, various papers and presentations due all around the same week. Since the end of Spring Break, you had been holed up in your room, left to your mountains of homework.

Your Microbio class had a presentation due that coincided with the research project you had been working on all semester long. Human Anatomy and Physiology (or affectionately known as BIO 312) had a major cumulative exam on the entire semester, which stressed you out more than any other homework assignment or exam you had.

Thankfully, your school held an all day event that attempted to boost the morale of the students on campus. Filled with a bunch of free things, you took advantage of everything offered.

Lined up on tables were various student organizations set up, with their own little games and prizes. A few of them had speakers that played the music they wanted to listen to, all speakers attempting to outman the other. However, the one that ended up winning was a tie dye station located in the lawn, handing out free t-shirts to dye.

One of the guys at the tie dye station had a wide smile on his face while his hands were dripping with dye. Setting your prizes down at a table where Tamia and Mel had put their things, you walked over to him. He welcomed you over with a smile, “Hey! Lookin’ to tie dye?”

“Yeah, I’m a medium.” You smiled at him, blocking the sun with your hand. He called over to Benny, asking him to pull a medium out for you. Benny handed you the shirt with a smile. “I’ve never dyed anything before.”

“Never?! That’s a crime against mankind, darlin’, let’s get this shirt dyed.” He spoke, talking you over the colors in each of the buckets. He explained to you some basic color theory, although you had remembered that from your high school painting class, you didn’t stop him; he was pretty when he spoke.

The curls on his head stuck out from the shaved sides, the gold of his earrings stood out underneath the blistering April sun. He licked his lips often, using the back of his hand to wipe sweat from his forehead. He helped you pick out the style you wanted, making sure the rubber bands were placed exactly where you wanted them. “I’ll dip them in the bucket for you so you don’t get your hands dirty.”

“Thank you. I could’ve managed on my own, but I definitely appreciate it.”

“Of course. What’s your name?” You offer up to him, before he lets out a chuckle. You question him with a pull of your eyebrows. “Jake talks about you.”

“You know Jake?”

“Yeah, he’s my twin.” As soon as the word left his mouth, you could see the resemblance; you almost scolded yourself for not realizing it sooner. They were similar, especially in their features and their eyes, although the two of them had very distinct color differences. Josh, as he told you after dropping the bomb on you, had warmer eyes, filled with caramel colored hues of brown in relation to Jake’s colder tones; his eyes were a darker shade of brown, with the occasional gleam of flirtation laced within the reflection.

He spoke quite differently from Jake, mostly just with the sound of his voice. It matched their eyes, their personalities. Josh’s bright, bubbly stature followed in his voice, almost theatrical as he spoke. “I guess that makes sense, you two do kind of look alike. Minus the hair, of course.”

“Well, of course. Mine’s better,” you liked that about him - how kind his tone was. You attempted to grill him about what Jake was saying about you, curiosity flowing violently through your bloodstream as if it lit your body on fire. “He just says that you’re second in the Bio class you have with him, and that it makes you mad.”

“It does, Jake’s never there. I’ve seen him three times, and two of those times were for exams.” Josh wrung out the part that had been soaking in the dye for a bit, watching the water fall back into the bucket.

“Yeah, it’s cause he’s working all the time, if I’m honest. Jake stays home during the week to work at the nursing home in our hometown. We don’t really have a large CNA population, most of the people who work there are highschool kids, so Jake’s really been their guy. Especially since high school, as soon as he graduated he moved to full time. All the old ladies love him.” He snorts, dipping your shirt into the blue dye.

“I didn’t know that.” You thought he was lying about where he was, which is why guilt started to eat away at you. You felt terrible for making assumptions, but you couldn’t take any of that back now.

“Jake doesn’t talk to a lot of people, but we love him anyway.” You chewed at your bottom lip, rethinking your opinion of Jake. “You goin’ to the concert later tonight?”

“Hadn’t decided. Mel and Tamia want to, so I’ll probably end up going. Are you?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll probably go.”

“Do you know who’s playing?”

“Some local band I think? I’ve heard a lot of the girls think the frontman’s pretty handsome.” He spoke with a smirk. You promised him you’d go, just to see if the girls had been right. He handed you your t-shirt to hold while he grabbed you a plastic bag. He also handed you a piece of paper with instructions on how to take care of your new tie dye.

“Make sure when you wash it, you wash it by itself. Otherwise, you’ll dye all of your other clothes and believe me, you don’t want that,” he chuckled, as if he was speaking from experience.

You thanked him with a warm smile, waving to him before returning to your room. As soon as you got back, you opened your window, allowing the air flow to travel inside. It kept you cool, allowing you to walk around comfortably with a t-shirt and shorts on. You put your plastic bag in the closet of your room, writing on your white board to remember to take it out and wash it tomorrow.

You texted Mel and Tamia, knowing that Mel would probably have some smart comeback about why you want to go to the concert. It wasn’t that you didn’t join them on nights out, you just had a lot riding on your academic success. Not only because you were the first one in your family to go to college, but also because of your mass of scholarships that only continued to flow if your GPA was at a suitable level. Anything below a 3.2, and you would lose almost all of them.

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

Are we going to the concert tonight?

From: The 3 Dumb Sluts - Mel

Are you offering to come with us without us needing to beg and plead for you to join?

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

Don’t make me take it back, Mel

From: The 3 Dumb Sluts - Tamia

We’re absolutely going. Come to mine whenever you want to get ready :)

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

The doors open at 8 right? I’ll be over about 5:30-6ish. Gotta finish up this paper for Heinz real quick

You locked your phone before they could scold you for doing homework on a day that was designated for relaxation and recuperation. You pulled out your Anat and Physio binder, pulling out the sources you printed off in the library. You ran through the last one with a blue highlighter between your teeth. 

You set an alarm on your phone for five o’clock, saving enough time for you to shower.  You were about halfway through the last page when your timer went off. You silenced it, attempting to hurriedly finish highlighting the page. The article was placed onto your desk, highlighter returned to the cup on your desk filled with various writing utensils.

You pulled out your shower caddy, putting it on top of your dresser before pulling out your robe. You laid it over the edge of your bed, removing all of your clothes. You threw them into your hamper and put on your robe. You slipped on your slides, grabbed your caddy and traveled to the bathroom.

Underneath the uneven streams from the showerhead, you thought about Jake.

Maybe your first impressions of him were wrong. When Josh told you about the nursing home back in their hometown, you felt instantaneously bad for assuming that he just never showed up. You knew from what Jake had told you, that he had work, but you figured that was just an excuse.

You bit at the skin of your lips, hands on your shoulders as you soaked the warmth of the water in. You were pulled out of your thoughts very quickly as someone flushed the toilet, making the water fade in from super hot to super fucking cold. You hated the school’s water system.

You finished your shower quickly, drying off with the towel slightly before putting your robe on and throwing your hair up into your towel. You walked back into your room, locking it behind you. You set your caddy back where it originally was.

You threw on a pair of jean shorts that hadn’t seen the light of day since early October, pairing it with a long sleeve shirt that you had gotten back in high school for Christmas. It was plain, brown, but hugged your body well. The sweatshirt debate lasted a few seconds before you remembered how hot it was going to be outside. A record temperature for mid-April, almost 80 degrees outside.

When you checked your phone getting back from the shower, it was just barely five thirty. You texted the groupchat again, asking if it would be cool to come over a half an hour earlier than you had originally said. You knew it was a dumb question, you would always be welcome in their room. You chuckled at Mel’s response of, “Are you fucking dumb? Of course you can come over. Bring wine if you have any left! No carry-in’s allowed at the concert.”

You put your phone down for a second and slipped on a pair of shoes that were comfortable enough for you to stand in for a long time. They used to be white, but had gotten progressively dirty from the years of use. You shoved your phone in your back pocket and slid a few different bottles of wine into your backpack, separated by extra clothing so the bottles didn’t clink together.

You walked down the stairs, out the door and over to the other dorm building across the walkway. You scanned your keycard to get into the building, walking through the hallways waving to the RA on duty, McKenna. She had been in a few of your classes and was always incredibly nice.

Her room this year was actually a few down from where you were living. McKenna was a great RA, knowing exactly how to handle the rowdiness of the floor while still keeping the resident’s respect. She didn’t bother them unless she needed to, and they didn’t bother her unless needed. She kept it underwraps about the underage drinking that would inevitably happen, mostly by telling the floor they could do what they want, as long as they were quiet by quiet hours (which was around ten thirty on the weekdays, and one in the morning on the weekends).

You took the elevator to the second floor of East Sunderland, getting off as soon as the doors opened. The booths that had previously been up had begun to dissipate, bringing the plastic tables back into the buildings they belonged in. You took a last glance at the people cleaning before heading into Mel and Tamia’s dorm building.

You knocked on the door, coming as soon as you announced yourself to Mel and Tamia. The girls laughed as you walked in, looking at a picture of Mel from when they were a kid. The two of them showed it to you as you settled your bag onto Mel’s chair in the corner of their room. “Your buck teeth! Oh my God, you were adorable, Mel.”

“Oh shut up, I bet you didn’t look any better.” Mel spoke to Tamia, making the three of you laugh. “Anyways, what wine did you bring?”

“The Barefoot we didn’t finish the other weekend, and then I still had some Rose, so I brought those over too. I wasn’t sure what we were feeling.” Tamia pulled some glasses from her shelves, passing them out to the two of you. You filled their glasses with the Rose you brought.

The three of you talked specifics on the plans for tonight, hitting up another fraternity party as soon as the concert ended. There were two separate ones going on at the same time, so the two of you weighed your options over which one to go to. “The Sigs are throwing one, but I’d rather die. Delta’s throwing one, too, we’ll go to theirs instead. And maybe see if anyone’s at the Sig party that we like and stop there before heading back to the dorms.”

You walked down with them to the Athletic Department, hoping to have gotten there early enough to get a good spot. As soon as the doors opened, you were filtered through the doors, making sure that you were students with the college. The three of you half ran to the barricade, settling yourselves against it on the right side, although still somewhat in the middle.

The show wouldn’t start for quite some time yet, the three of you talked amongst yourselves about upcoming finals, what you had to do for various classes. You also found a few people around you to chat to while you waited, hearing laughter roaring through various parts of the crowd.

A few students from the Admissions Office had taken the stage, playing a random playlist of music that matched what the band was going to be playing. Rock thundered through the speakers, filling audience members with anticipation. Rochel addressed the student body, “Hello everyone!” welcomed by the sounds of cheers and screaming.

“We’ve got about fifteen minutes before the band comes on stage, so help us warm them up to the stage!” Everyone clapped, although some of the girls around you looked unenthused as they stared down at their phones. You checked yours for any text messages from any family members. You had nothing, so you put it back in your pocket.

Around four songs played before Rochel turned the microphone on again. Everyone shouted before she talked. “Well, it’s that time! Please, give a warm welcome to Greta Van Fleet!”

Rochel and the two other students walked off the stage, passing by what you had assumed to be one of the band members. He sat behind the drums, smiling and waving off into the crowd. You cheered for him along with Tamia and Mel, cheering just as loud when their bassist walked onto the stage. Both of their hair was longer, goofy smiles on their faces as they got situated with their instruments.

Your mouth hung open as you watched the last two boys walk on stage, seeing the twins. Jake’s eyes scanned the crowd as he slung his guitar over his shoulder. He found you after a moment, sending a smirk your way. You closed your mouth, glaring at him. Mel laughed at you, noticing your demeanor shift. “How we doin’ tonight everyone?”

Everyone cheered. “A lot of you might know me and Jake, seen us on campus and stuff. It’s wonderful to see all of you here, coming to support us as we celebrate the onslaught of spring! It’s been a particularly warm one today, so make sure to drink water! There’s plenty to go around.”

Jake started them off, pick between his fingers as he strummed the beginning chords to one of their songs. Some of the girls had begun to scream, shouting at Jake’s response to Josh’s little speech before he began playing. His signature smirk formed, watching the girls go crazy, eyes scanning the crowd before he found you again.

As Jake continued to play, he looked over to you any time he could. It was hard to tear your eyes away from him, enthralled by the way he looked on stage. You tried your hardest, truly, to look at any of the other boys on the stage aside from Jake but you just couldn’t. He fit the stage just right, bringing the attention away from Josh and demanding to be seen by the entirety of the crowd. He belonged up there.

Jake went to the center of the stage during his solo. Josh lingered around the drummer, keeping to himself, drinking whatever was in his cup. They kept on playing as Jake took the spotlight, everyone cheering and screaming for him. You kept silent, wanting to hear him play. His fingers worked against the frets of the guitar, not before sliding down and up it quickly. 

You tried to hide the awe you were in, but your friends knew. They saw it written all over your face. The frustration and annoyance you felt when you first spotted Jake on stage dissipated the second his guitar solo began. You swallowed thickly, watching as his attention turned from his guitar to you, pointing it in your direction. Your cheeks flushed, and your thighs pressed together.

This was going to be a long night.

The second the concert was over, Josh thanked everyone for coming. His smile was wide as he waved goodbye to everyone, walking off next to Jake who had his guitar by the neck before he passed it off to one of the stage hands. Josh put his hands on his shoulders as they walked off stage.

You stuck around mostly waiting for the crowd to die down before trying to leave the building. Mel and Tamia talked about the show, saying that it was fucking dope, commenting on how excellent Jake’s playing was. You didn’t speak about Jake’s playing, mostly praising Josh for his spectacular performance. “I never expected that voice to come out of him, how heavenly.”

“Talking about me?” Jake cuts through your conversation, walking over to you with Josh not far behind. You roll your eyes. Tamia and Mel congratulate him on such an amazing performance, gushing about how sweet his guitar looks. “Why thank you, ladies.”

“Mel! I didn’t think you were going to be able to come.” He gushed, wiping his hands on the sides of his khaki shorts he had changed into.

“Yeah, well, Miss Quiet over here wanted to see her archnemesis, didn’t you?”

“I-I–” You turned your head slightly towards Jake, who had an amused smirk written all over his face. “I did not, Mellie, stop lying.”

“By the redness of your cheeks, sweetheart, I’d say she was telling the truth.” You had barely noticed that Mel, Tamia and Josh had slipped away from the two of you, leaving you alone.

“I didn’t even know you were playing.” You admitted shyly, hiding underneath a guise of innocence.

“Even if you did, you looked pretty hot and bothered by my playing.” You held the back of your arms, trying hard to maintain eye contact with him. You looked into his eyes, they were staring straight at you.

“Yeah, sure. I actually came because Josh said he was going. He neglected to mention that he was going to be singing,” you looked at Josh who wore a smile that read ‘guilty as charged’ before patting you on the shoulder.

“Hey, you didn’t ask. You just asked if I was going.” You rolled your eyes and chuckled slightly. “Anyways, Sam and Danny are gonna spend the night in my room, so I’ll have to find somewhere else to be tonight. Are you guys going to either of the frat parties tonight?”

“We’re going to the Delta party. The Sigs’ reputation is not the best, and I don’t feel like seeing whether or not it’s right.”

“That is completely understandable. I shall see you ladies there then. You coming, Jake? We still have a lot to put away.”

“Yeah, in a second,” he turned towards Josh who had begun to walk away, waving him off before turning back to the three of you. “I hope you guys enjoyed the show, maybe I’ll catch up with you at the party.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, actually, I would.” He smiled at you before joining the other boys cleaning up their amps and cords.

“Jesus Christ, the two of you just need to fuck or something. I don’t think I can handle another interaction like that,” Mel joked, making a gagging face when she finishes her sentence. You pushed at her arm, turning around and walking out of the gym.

Tamia and Mel giggled profusely about your and Jake’s rivalry. The two even started making bets on when the two of you would finally ‘get it on’, as Tamia put it. You just rolled your eyes at the conversation, changing the subject to something different.

—

The party, though filled with lots of fun and drinking, was a bust. While Josh had shown up with his younger brother and his brother’s friend, as you learned, in tow, Jake was nowhere to be found. You thought to ask Josh why he wasn’t there, but he was too busy dancing with Micah. Through the grapevine, you learned that Micah and Josh had been together since high school.

You stayed around the party for almost two hours before you wanted to go back. A small part of you had wished Jake had actually come. You wondered if maybe the two of you would get along if you put your competitive nature aside. You tried not to dwell on thoughts of Jake’s absence for too long, wanting to enjoy the rest of the night with your girls. But when you had enough of the party, you shouted in Mel’s ear to let her know you wanted to leave.

Mel and Tamia had made sure you got back alright about two hours into the party. Your legs were tired and your feet had begun to hurt. The two of them stumbled with you back to the door of your building, making sure you were inside before leaving to go back. They almost came in with you, until you insisted otherwise.

Laying on your bed with your head pointed towards the ceiling you started thinking about Jake again. What was his reason for not being at the party? Did he just make those comments beforehand just to rile you up? It seemed like the only valid reason your impaired mind could come up with.

You grabbed your phone, almost dropping it on the floor. You sluggishly opened Instagram, and searched for Jake’s profile. You scrolled through, looking at the few photos he did have on his page. Most of the pictures he had were of his guitar, or places he’s traveled. You were sent into a panic when you realized you had accidentally liked an older picture of Jake’s, one from freshman year of college. Hurriedly, you unliked it and immediately locked your phone.

That had been a few days ago.

Now it was Wednesday and your first final exam was here. It was for the class you shared with Jake, BIO 312.  It wasn’t exactly final exam time, but Professor Heinz was going to be away at a conference for a week starting Friday. You didn’t mind, though, since it spaced out your other finals enough to have a decent amount of time to study for them.

You sat at your desk, looking over your notecards one last time before the exam began. A frequent look around the room and you noticed Jake walking in, going to a random seat a couple rows in front of you. He set his bag down next to him, before bending down to grab his laptop. He noticed you watching him and sent a wink your way.

You looked away as you tried to hide the rush of rosy skin that fanned over your cheeks and heated up your ears. You tried to ignore him again until at least when the test started, embarrassed that you got caught looking at him. Your phone pinged and you pulled it out of your bag to look at it, as well as turn it on silent.

jacobtkiszka wants to send you a message.

You swallowed and hit the notification taking you straight to the message.

“Person who turns their test in last pays for coffee?”

Your lips curved into a small smile, feeling your fingers type the first thing that comes to your head.

“Hope you brought your wallet with you, Kiszka.”

You put your phone on Do Not Disturb and shoved it back into your bag. The professor walked through the door, setting her things down on the desk in the front of the room. Her coffee mug still had steam coming from it, freshly poured. A quick look of her watch after getting settled and it was time to start the exam. “Okay, everyone. It’s time for class. Take out your laptops and begin your exam. You may leave when you have finished. Thank you for a great semester, and good luck.”

The questions on the exam were all ones that you knew and had studied for for weeks. It was strenuous, trying to remember everything on the cumulative exam. You had hoped it would go quickly and you would answer them faster than Jake could. Occasionally, you turned to look at Jake, seeing if maybe he was trying to look at you too.

With one question left of your exam, you click the answer and press submit after a minute of debate. You had a bad habit of second guessing yourself occasionally; it was actually the bane of your testing experiences. You hated when you felt confident about an answer, until you really sat with the other possible answers it could be.

You put your laptop back into your bag, zipped it up and noticed that Jake had already left. You cursed to yourself, knowing that now you had to buy Jake a coffee. You waved goodbye to your professor with a smile and walked out the doors. Jake sat outside of the classroom at one of the tables they had throughout the building. “Whatcha reading?”

“Josh recommended it to me, but I’m going to be honest, I fucking hate this book.” He laughed, shoving it into his bag. “You know any good coffee shops around here? I’m kind of tired of Starbucks.”

“I just so happen to know the best coffee shop in town, but it is a bit of a walk, if you don’t mind that?” You asked, walking through the door that Jake was holding before muttering a thank you to him. 

“I could also drive, if you’re okay with that.”

“I’m more than okay with that,” you chuckle, letting him know that your dorm building had enough stairs; any chance you could get to use an elevator, or get driven somewhere, you would take that opportunity in a heartbeat.

The drive was short in comparison to the twenty minute walk it would have taken to get to the shop. Jake tried to offer the radio to you, but you let him play what he wanted to listen to. You didn’t know exactly who was playing, but the blues music that played through the speakers was a breath of fresh air.

Your typical shuffle had a plethora of music from differing genres, whether that be rap or old country. You hadn’t known much when it came to blues music, especially the difference between good blues music and bad. Eventually, you got the courage to ask who was playing and Jake answered, letting you know that the song was by Buddy Guy. “It’s called She Suits Me To A T. I tried for weeks to learn this song when I first started playing music more seriously.”

“This is the coffee shop, at the next corner.” You watched his hand as he made a right turn, noticing him steering with just the palm of his hand. Letting the leather steering wheel glide back to its original position in his hand, elbow propped on the door with the window rolled down.

It’s all you thought about on your way into the coffee shop, completely relying on autopilot. Your responses to Jake were almost textbook, one word sentences that could continue the conversation without much effort. “What’re you thinking of getting?”

“Oh, um, I’m not sure. I usually have them surprise me,” you admit, shoving your hands into your jacket. “Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. That’s the gamble you take.”

“I like that a lot, actually. I think I’ll have them surprise me too, if you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all.” You smiled at Jake before he went to order for the two of you. You found a place to sit in the meantime, offering a spot towards the windows so you could watch people come and go, each on their own paths of life.

By the time Jake sat down, both of the coffees were in his hand. After a few questions, Jake set the iced drink down in front of you, and the hot drink in front of himself. “Yours is an iced chai, with brown sugar syrup and vanilla. Mine is some sort of tea, I wasn’t really paying attention to what she was saying. I just wanted to remember what she put in yours in case you liked it.”

“Oh,” you spoke, bringing the cup towards you. “Thank you, that’s really sweet. Do you like your drink?”

“You know, it’s really not bad. I wouldn’t have gotten it otherwise, but it’s really not bad.”

“You hate it.”

“I hate it. It’s not good.” The two of you chuckled before you offered him a sip of your drink. “Mhmm,” he moaned. “That’s good, oh my God.”

The two of you continued small talk, whether it was over the classes you had previously taken, memories of parties from past years – anything. You shared previous high school experiences, mostly about the ridiculous things that were considered parties in your teenage years.

Conversation with Jake was surprisingly a lot easier than you thought it would be. Especially since you’ve hated him pretty much your entire college career. You figured he’d be stuck up, aware of his academic achievements and ready to flaunt them in front of anyone who’d listen.

He was the opposite. His sentences were wrapped with kindness, and the reflection in his voice seemed nothing but positive. His voice was like silk, he could’ve talked you into damn near anything as long as his voice sounded like that. It hurt when the conversation slowed, spending a few moments to take in the scene around you two, as well as finally being able to drink more of your drink (which was very delicious, it was almost like crack).

“How long have you been playing guitar?” You asked after the silence became almost uncomfortable to sit with.

“Oh jeez. I’ve been playing since I was… like three? Yeah, three.” You stared at him with eyes slightly wide, mouth agape. “What?”

“N-Nothing, that’s just a really long time. You’re what, 21 now?” He clarified that he was only twenty, his birthday roughly a week away. You poked fun at him, mentioning how you were older, even if it was by less than a year.

“Josh is throwing us a birthday party, if you want to come. Since it’ll be our 21st, we’re having it at our parents cabin on Lake Michigan. You’re welcome to bring Mel and Tamia if you’d like. Sam and Danny are going to be there, even though they’re underage, but we’re gonna pretend like they’re older.” Jake spoke with one last sip of his drink, letting the empty cup echo on the table as he set it down.

“I will let Mel and Mia know. I can’t make any sure decisions without talking to them first, but I’m pretty damn sure that they’ll say they would love to go.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they’ll say no either. They seem pretty adamant that you have a little crush on me or something,” he said, putting your cups inside of a bus tub to be picked up and washed.

“I don’t have a crush on you,” you laughed, walking out of the coffee shop with Jake. “I actually hate you, remember?”

“You may say that you hate me, but you’re not really good at showing it.”

[edelfie]

#𝓣𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘! bumpin’ that?

as an aspiring a-list celebrity, it’s important for (y/n) to have a strong inner circle. not just for her work, but also for her own sanity. she was grateful when she met yachi and asahi, who were both kind enough to remain her friend after their work together ended. in terushima’s case, it was less of a choice for him to stay so much as he glued himself to her side from day one. fukunaga was similar, but most won’t believe it from his introverted personality. above all, tendou has been by (y/n)’s side since day one. even when he’s continents away, he is still her closest confident.

or, our main character and her crew! how exciting

BLIND ITEMS! —

## many small work-hands in the music industry only have positive things to say about this rising pop star. allegedly, she only conducts business with other up-and-comings and forms lifelong bonds with them. she appears to be the best of friends with her hairstylist, stylist, and creative designer. [revealed: Y/N L/N, terushima yuuji, azumane asahi, yachi hitoka]

## this z-list pop singer insisted on allowing her close-friend and amateur comedian open at all her shows for her freshman and sophomore albums, despite it not being good for her business. luckily for both, the crowds loved it, and the two still seem to be good friends. [revealed: Y/N L/N, fukunaga shouhei]

## according to an old school acquaintance, this renowned paris-based pastry chef is childhood friends and penpals with a music-industry nobody. the chef used to have a crush on the nobody, but the nobody turned them down in favor of becoming a groupie and eventually dating the A-list lead singer for 5 years. [revealed: tendou satori, Y/N L/N, unknown]

## the two-time flop artist has more exes than she knows what to do with it seems. now that she’s been dumped again, it’s only a matter of time before she writes a trash album about him too. [revealed: Y/N L/N]

hat3r. are we even surprised by any of these?? this isn’t even real tea or news. it’s getting stale — ynisjesus. you don’t ever have a single nice thing to say do you ???

runaruna. i want to know who she dated for 5 years, he’s gotta be like a totally industry bombshell if he’s an A-lister right? — sera_pent. EXACTLY like why is nobody talking about this! — junebuggg. it’s gotta be the guy from undead right? — harobio. no i think its mr “has-it-all” from SIR7 — sapphics4yn. why is everyone thinking it’s a guy ?? DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM ALISAGATE??

gunslinger67. stream VNGELS by MISC9 !!!

read more…

NOTE! —

Today's fundraiser is "A Father's Plea: Help Save my Family" by Youssef Helles. In 2019, Youssef left Gaza for Belgium to find a better life for his family. However, five years later, the conditions in Gaza have worsened significantly. Now he's fundraising to bring his family to be in Belgium with him. Of the 23,000 goal, about 15,000 has been raised thus far. Every bit counts, so donate to Youssef's cause here or copy and share the link to spread the cause!

And a friendly reminder to register to vote! Please vote in the presidential race, but especially please please please vote in your regional and district elections! Remember to vote based on policy and meaningful change, not just color or party lines, and vote with your values and your important issues in mind. I know as I get older, my priorities have shifted, and as a college student loan forgiveness has become one of my must-addresses, so please! Go out and vote!

In "non-world-altering" news, I had my birthday recently! It wasn't that recent honestly since it was on the 15th, but I still thought it was worth mentioning. I also started college that week, which was fun! Due to the nature of my major, there aren't any stressful classes my first semester—mainly public speaking and fundamentals. I'm sure I'll bite my tongue on that soon though, especially since I have something due tonight *skull emoji*

MASTERLIST + SEVEN EVIL EXES

© all rights reserved—edelfie (2024) // do not plagiarize, modify, copy, use, translate, or repost my work on other sites without permission

[cuttergauthier]

Neighbours

Quinn Hughes x Female reader

Warning: against, fluff, cussing, alcohol

word count: 3.7k

let me know what you guys think🤍

April 2022

I moved to Vancouver 2 weeks ago for work even though I can work from home. I wanted a change so I decided to move. I'm a clothing designer. I started the summer before I started going to university. It was hard trying to juggle a clothing brand and university at the same time especially since i was doing extra classes during summer since i wanted to be able to finish a semester earlier so i could go back home for summer & be settled in Vancouver for when i come back in September, but i was able to make it work.

When I first started I would only make 1 shirt in all sizes and sell them, it took a while to be able to make money off it, but now the clothing company is doing really well, It’s an online clothing store. I sell both Women & Men clothes from comfy to fancy.

I’ve always wanted to open my own store and I thought Vancouver would be perfect for that, most of my buyers are from canada.

I was born in Plymouth Michigan, i grew up in a lake house, my parent’s love it here, so do i, during winter my dad, my older brother and i would go skating on the lake, it’s one of my favorite things to do during the winter, during summertime we would go on boat rides almost every day. 

I went to the University of Michigan, I graduated in June, it was the best 3 and a half years, now I'm on a new chapter of my life. I 

I am still getting used to Vancouver. I don’t really know where everything is yet, it’s only been 5 days and i can work on my own time as long as i meet my deadlines, so i’ve been walking around Vancouver. It was a pretty chilly day but it wasn’t too bad. We are now at the end of April.

It took a while before moving here to look for an apartment, And to get everything settled since I’m American i needed to apply for a work visa, it took a while before i was accepted.

I finally found a cute coffee shop so I made my way inside and in line to order. I looked at the menu to see what I should order. Once I decided to go with (favorite coffee order) the line was shorter and it was only a cute guy in front of me and I.

When I finally ordered, I made my way to the pick up station. The cute guy got his drink before me and walked out. I got my drink a second later and left the coffee shot. I started walking back to my apartment since I still have some unpacking to do. 

I’m walking and looking around me, Vancouver is truly a beautiful city. I looked in front of me and saw the cute guy was going in the same direction. He looks familiar but I can't figure out why.

I saw him getting in the same apartment building I live in, maybe he lives there too. I made my way inside to see the elevator doors about to close. The guy looked up from his phone and saw I was walking that way, so he put his hand to stop the doors from closing.

I smiled as I walked in and stood next to him, to see he selected the same floor as I live on.

“Thanks for holding the door,” I said thankfully.

“No problem,” he said. He looked so serious like he didn’t have any emotion in the fact that i said thank you.

“I’m yn” i said

“Quinn” he replied before looking down at his phone.

He looked pretty tired, maybe that’s why he doesn’t seem to want to talk. But so am I, so I can't judge. 

The doors opened on our floor and we both started walking to our apartments. We are both going the same direction.

Once he stopped at his place, I stopped at mine which was the one next to him.

How have i not noticed him till today, since i’ve been here, it looked like no one lived there.

I saw him look at me before he opened the door. I looked at him as we made eye contact for a second. 

“See you around neighbor” i told him smiling before walking in my Apartment and closing the door behind me. 

I really hope I see him again. I smiled before continuing to unpack my stuff.

1 week later, May 2022

I finished packing my suitcase to bring back home with me. I was finally able to finish unpacking the furniture and everything else in this apartment so I thought I would finally go back home, since it’s warmer there right now then it is in Vancouver.

I made sure everything was turned off and made my way out of the apartment with my suitcase. As soon as I locked my door, Quinn opened his and got out with his suitcase. Looks like I'm not the only one who seems to be leaving Vancouver.

I made my way to the elevator and I saw him do the same. I made sure to wait before pressing the lobby button. 

“Thanks” he mumbled

“ no problem… Are you going to Vancouver?” I ask him, trying to make conversation.

He looked at me confused for a minute, before he shook his head. 

“Going to see friends and family” he replied 

“That’s always nice,” I say. All he did was nod, I guess he’s not one for conversation. 

We both got out of the elevator and made our way outside, i had ordered an uber so that I wouldn't have to wait. It looks like Quinn did the same thing. Once my suitcase was in the trunk the driver started making his way to the airport. 

I texted my parents to let them know I was on my way to the airport.

I got my bags checked in and made my way to my area. I found a spot where no one was sitting and sat down. My flight is only boarding in an hour but I like coming here earlier in case it’s ever busy.

I saw that my brother had texted me, he’s only 1 year older than me, he's 23 but he’s my best friend.

Big bro

Yo, are you on your way yet?

I chuckled, of course he’s impatient 

Me

Just got my bags checked in, we are only boarding the plane in an hour

Big bro

Please hurry, I miss you!

Big bro

Also before i forget, apparently the hughes brothers bought the lake house next to us that was for sale, i met one of them yesterday and some of his friends they all play pro hockey, one of the brothers plays for Vancouver, Jack said he should be getting in today & the ones i met are really cool, they’re around are age, so looks like we’ll have a fun summer🤪

Me

Oh good, at least it’s not another older couple who would complain every time we try to throw a party when mom and dad go away for the 4th of July😂 & wtf obviously i heard about then you idiot, kinda hard not to when we both went to a school where a bunch of hockey players went to. Also I met the youngest Luke at university, Nick introduced me to the freshman at the beginning of the year.

Big bro

I know right😂 oh cool then i guess you’ll know one of them! Anyways see you soon kid!

Me

See ya!

I smiled, hopefully I won't be stuck hanging out with a bunch of idiots the whole summer, but at least we aren’t the only ones our age.

I was scrolling through instagram. In the corner of my eye I saw someone sitting in one of the seats in front of me.

I looked up and saw Quinn, looking like he’s going to Michigan.

He looked up at me so I smiled.

When it was finally time to board the plane, I went and sat in my seat. I'm thankful that i got the window seat, a few seconds later Quinn sat down in the seat next to me.

“Looks like we’re both going to the same place” I said. 

He just nodded.

I looked back at him with a small smirk, I have a feeling that I’ll probably annoy him on the flight.

“You’re not much of a talker, are you?” I said teasing him, every time i try and talk to him, he looks like he ins’t interested in talking to me.

“Not really, do you need something from me? i’m not interested, okay, i get enough people trying to get with me just because of who i am i don’t need to have one who’s going to try the whole plane ride back to michigan” he said a little annoyed.

That was rude, why would he think I wanted anything from him… then it struck me that’s why he looked so familiar when i first met him. He’s the guy my brother told me about the brother who plays for Vancouver. He’s Quinn Hughes. He’s also Luke's older brother. How the hell did I not figure this out earlier? Luke told me that his oldest brother played for Vancouver, I just didn’t think he would be my neighbor and having him hate me.

Once I made the connection my eyes widened.

Quinn rolled his eyes.

“See you clearly know who i am, so just leave me alone” he said annoyed.

I scoffed.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Luke’s my favorite anyways. I also didn’t recognize you until now, not everyone is going to recognize who you are. I’m also guessing you’re going to the lake house you and Jack just bought right?” I said. He’s pissing me off, and since he doesn’t know we are going to be neighbors or that I know Luke, I thought I would creep him out a little bit.

His eyes widened when I said that.

“Omg are you some kind of stalker?” He said in disgust.

I chuckled at his expression, he looks really creeped out right now.

“Not a stalker but according to my brother who met Jack yesterday we are about to be neighbor’s… again.” I said

“I’m sorry… what?”

“Oh My brother texted me earlier turns out you and jack bought the lake house right next to my parents house, looks like we’ll see each other a lot this summer” i said smirk 

I heard him curse under his breath.

“You better not go anywhere near our house,” he said.

“that’s funny because i can promise the second Luke sees me, he’s going to invite me over” 

“Like hell he is” he said laughing like there was no way that would ever happen.

“I don’t care if you guys play hockey, i’m going to go after you just because of fame or money. And Just so you know, I already know luke. I met him in September when he started at Michigan since I'm friends with Blanks. He's a good kid, i would help tutor him with calculus, i think of him as a little brother, same with the other younger guys. I even met your mom for fuck sakes and she was nicer than you are right now” i said, 

I could see a look of regret on his face. He sighed.

“Look i’m sorry okay, a lot of people try to get along just because of who I am , same with my brothers. Can we start over?” He asked.

He looked sincere, and I nodded, i know my brother will most likely hang out with them a lot this summer, so we should probably get along.

“I’d like that” i said  

He smiled 

“I’m quinn hughes, it’s nice to meet you” he said

“I’m Y/n Y/L/N, it’s nice to meet you too” i said.

We ended up getting to know each other for the rest of the flight. I told him about what I studied at university and what I do, along with a few funny stories about Luke and some of the other freshmen. He told me about hockey and his family. It was nice actually talking to him, and I really hope we can be friends since we are neighbors in Vancouver and now in Michigan.

Michigan 

When our flight landed we made our way out, and went to baggage claim.

I texted my brother to let him know, he said he was waiting with Jack and Luke since both Quinn and I were on the same flight.

“Looks like my brother is waiting with yours” I told Quinn as we started looking for them.

“I see Jack, come on,” he said. I followed him to our brothers

When my brother saw me, he pulled me in a hug, making me laugh.

“I miss you too Y/B/N” i said

“Y/N” Luke said when he saw me and pulled me in a hug.

“Hey Luke” I chuckle.

“You guys already know each other?” Jack asked, confused.

Luke let go of me and looked at jack.

“Yeah, she’s friends with blanks, he introduced us in the beginning of the year, she’s also the reason why i passed calculus, thanks for tutoring me by the way” he said 

“How did she tutor you if she lives in Vancouver?” Jack asked again, you could tell he was so lost, it was funny.

“I’ve only been living in Vancouver for 2 weeks now, i graduated from university of Michigan after Christmas” I said and he nodded.

“Oh make sense, and you’ve met quinn?” 

“Turns out we’re neighbors in Vancouver” quinn answered, i smiled at him.

Our brothers started laughing.

“What are the fucking chances” luke said

“Yeah seriously, now you’re also neighbors here” my brother said

“I know right,” I said.

“Let’s get going” quinn said impatient 

“Yeah, yeah let’s get grumpy,” Jack said.

Quinn rolled his eyes at him which made me laugh.

We made our way to the car and Jack drove us to the lake house.

Jack parked in his driveway and we all made our way to the trunk.

My brother took my suitcase before Jack turned to look at us.

“I don’t know what your plans are today, but we are having a bonfire tonight, you two are both welcome to join us” he said smiling.

“Thanks jack, that sounds fun” i said

My brother nodded.

“Yeah man we’ll be there” my brother said

“Great, then we’ll see you guys tonight”

“Blanks and a few other wolverines are here by the way, I won’t tell them, you’ll be able to surprise them” luke told me. I smiled and nodded before my brother and i made our way to our house.

As soon as we got in the house my parents hugged me.

I talked to them about Vancouver and how Quinn was my neighbor there and now here which made them laugh.

Then I went up to my room to unpack. By the time I was done it was 6:30 p.m. so I went to take a shower since I was all sweaty. Once I was done I got dressed in some Black Lululemon gym shorts and my blue Michigan hoodie.

My dad made food on the grill for dinner so I made my way down to eat since it’s already 7:30 and I am starting.

I sat down at the island counter on the chair and my mom gave me a plate. 

“Thanks mom,” I said smiling.

“No problem honey” she said, placing a kiss on my cheek.

“When you’re done eating we’ll go next door. Jack said they started the fire even though it’s still light out, and you can bring alcohol if you want or he said they have a lot so we should be good.” My brother told me.

“I think you still have some (favorite alcoholic drink) in the fridge from before you left for Vancouver, bring it with you if you go” my mom said before making her way to the living room with my dad.

I finished eating so I put my plate in the dishwasher and looked in the fridge for the drinks my mom was talking about and there were still 6 of them so I put them in a bag. My brother and I made our way next door. 

I saw Blanks was standing with his back to me talking with Luke. Luke saw me but I told him not to say anything. I gave my bag to my brother and ran up and jumped on his back.

“What the hell!” blanks screeched.

I laughed.

“Surprise!” I said before getting down.

“Yn?” He was surprised to see me. I nodded before he gave me a hug.

“I live next door '' I said happily, a big smile made its way on his face.

“This is about to be the best summer ever” he replied, making me laugh.

“Want to know what funny blanks she’s our neighbor here, and she’s quinn’s neighbor in Vancouver” Luke told him and i rolled my eyes, with a smile.

Nick let out a gasp.

“For real? Oh that’s awesome, like seriously what are the chances” he said

“I know right, also Luke, are you going to tell everyone?” I ask, chuckling.

Luke nodded, smiling.

“Everyone has to know” he said, like it’s the most obvious thing ever. He walked away leaving me alone with blanks.

“So, how is it like living next to Quinn?” He asked, smirking.

I rolled my eyes.

“Oh shut up” I replied, he laughed.

“No but seriously, how is it?”

“Fine i guess, he’s pretty quiet, but he kinda hated me until we got on the flight and sat next to each other, he thought i was some crazy fan” i said and nick burst out laughing i didn’t even know if he could breathe.

“What’s so funny?”

“Let me guess, you were nice and always tried to make conversation with him?” 

“Yeah…” I said and he shocked his head.

“That’s what a hockey player with think most of the time when a beautiful girl tries to talk to him and especially if you see him everywhere and end up on the same plane as him, he’s gonna think you’re following him, it’s just an instinct” nick said

“Yeah i know, but i really didn’t recognize him until after my brother told me about them buying the house next door to me and then accusing me of wanting something from him, then i saw the resemblance to Luke, so i kinda creeped him out a bit about telling him i knew exactly where he was going “ i said and nick chuckled.

“Of course you did… Quinn is a good guy though so i don’t doubt you guys won’t become friends… or maybe even more than friends” he said smirking.

I pushed him back.

“Oh shut up, let’s go see everyone else” I said, laughing.

We made our way to everyone else. Blanks introduced me to the guys. They all sound really nice.

We sat around the fire and drank, the guys were sharing funny stories. Nick told the story about how Quinn and I met. I put my hands on my face to hide the embarrassment. The guys laughed

“Seriously Quinn?” Luke asked 

“Look sorry but you never told me about her” Quinn replied.

We continued talking and sharing stories for the rest of the night. Some of the guys had already made their way inside to go to bed since it was late. My brother had gone back home, now it was only Quinn, blanks and i.

“I’m going to head up to bed before I pass out here” Blanks told us, making me chuckle.

“Good night blanks,” I said.

“Good night you two,” he said, smirking. I’ve known him for 4 years, he’s totally up to something.

“I should probably head to bed too, I don't want to be too tired tomorrow” I said, yawning.

Quinn turned to me and smiled.

“What?” I ask giggling.

“If I ask you on a date, would you say yes?” He asked, making me smile.

“I would,” I said blushing.

“Well, yn would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?” 

“ i would love to” i said smiling

“Perfect, I'll pick you up at 6:30 p.m.” he said and I smiled.

We said goodbyes and I made my way home.

Once I got into bed, I fell asleep with the biggest smile on my face.

September 2022

Going on that date with Quinn was the best decision I could have made. It went really well that we went on 3 more dates until he finally asked me to be his girlfriend.

We spent as much time as we could together this summer. When the guys found out we were dating they laughed since Luke had told everyone what happened when Quinn and I first met.

We have been in Vancouver for a little bit now, Quinn came back in August for training camp, i got back last week. I know how hockey season can be, but I also know Quinn and I will make it work. We’ll be seeing each other a lot since we are neighbors.

Quinn had practice this morning but he told me last night that he would come by after lunch.

He’s been stressed lately, he hopes he can have a better season than last year, i don’t blame him.

It’s now 12 p.m. when I heard the door open. 

“Babe, I'm here and I brought food,” I heard quinn. 

“I’m in the kitchen,” I replied. 

He made his way around the corner and smiled when he saw me.

“Hey beautiful” he said, making me blush.

He chuckled, he put the food on the counter and came over to me and kissed me. When we pulled away our forehead touched each other. I looked at his eyes to see he was doing the same. 

“I love you” I said happily.

“I love you more” he replied before leaning in and kissing me again.

Being with him, nothing could make me happier.

[typical-simplelove]

Hidden Words (R. Spiers)

Summary: Ron comes home from the war, wanting quiet and solitude, but when a friend from his childhood saves him when he needs it, a new friendship is formed. What happens when the lines are blurred and demands are made? Can Ron recognize he can have peace and quiet amidst the noise?

Author's Note: This is my Secret Santa fic for @latibvles. Thank you for bearing with me, and I'm sorry this took a moment. Between the end of the semester and the jump right into the family and holiday stuff, I've barely had time to breathe. Nonetheless, here it is, and I hope you like it!

Warnings: implied!female reader; mentions of the war (canon typical); mentions of having/wanting children in the future;

Word Count: 6.9k

Ever since he returned home, his mother continuously tried to step him up on a date. She didn’t understand that he didn’t want that; no part of him was ready to date. For starters, how could he explain the things he’d seen—done—in the war to anyone, especially someone he should be spending the rest of his life with? 

Besides, he doesn’t think it’s worth it to spend all this time working on opening himself up and getting to know someone only for the relationship not to work out. There’s no point in trying to make something work when he knows it won’t.

But his mother wants grandkids, so he can’t say that to her. 

Since he came home from the war, it’s as if the entire world is dead-set on producing the next generation. While Ron sees no flaws in that, he doesn’t want to partake. It’s not that he doesn’t want kids; it’s the process of finding someone to have children with. The time and effort weren’t worth it to him if it could fall apart—either by war or personal faults. 

But his mother wants this for him, and he can never say no to his mother. 

Presently, Ron and his family are on their way to a block party, hosted by a couple of families down the road. He remembers the names—some of the people he grew up with. 

As they get closer, he starts to feel the anxiety building up. Everywhere he goes where people remember him from his childhood, they immediately begin to thank him for his service and want him to tell his stories. While he knows they have good intentions, he’s not always in the mood to talk about his experiences overseas, and sometimes, he would prefer to pretend they never happened. 

As expected, once they arrive at the small corner of the neighborhood where the party is being hosted, he’s surrounded by people who want to hear his stories and tales. There are so many voices, making different requests, that he isn’t able to pipe in and ask to have this conversation another time. 

He looks around for his mother, but she’s nowhere to be found. First, she drags him to this gathering; then, she leaves him alone. He shakes his head, frustrated. 

“Excuse me,” a voice pipes in from being Ron. “I need to borrow him for a moment.” 

Their hand intertwines with Ron and begins to pull him towards one of the houses. The moment is so hurried that he doesn’t have a chance to look at the person who’s dragging him away—his savior. 

He’s so shocked and confused that he doesn’t register to which house they’re heading towards. He doesn’t register the familiar steps of stairs or the familiar room he’s in or the recognizable bed he’s sat on. 

“Hi,” Ron says when he finally recognizes that you’re his savior, and you brought him up to your childhood room. “Long time no see.”

You snort. “Yeah, well, there was this war in Europe; did you know about that?” 

“Vaguely,” he replies, a small smile begging to be released. He can’t remember the last time he smiled. “Thanks for saving me.” 

You nod. “You look horrified, and as much as that amuses me, I figured today wasn’t the day to be bombarded.” 

Living just down the street from each other, your family and his family often interacted. For a while, your lives orbited around each other. There was nowhere you went where Ron didn’t follow closely behind. He was your shadow, just being happy to be around you, soaking in your aura and liveliness. 

He would spend hours of his days with you, and if he wasn’t with you, he was thinking about you or talking about you to anyone who would listen. 

By the time you both reached high school, your friendship wasn’t socially acceptable anymore, so you and Ron drifted. Anyone who knew Ron before high school would say that a part of him died or drifted away when you both stopped being friends. A chunk of his soul, personality, and heart was chiseled out, waiting to be put back when you returned. 

By the time Ron went off to war, you were pretty much strangers to each other. But, even if he didn’t know it, there were still parts of him that longed for you. 

Sitting on your childhood bed, looking at you as you organize all the guests’ belongings that were scattered around your room, small parts of the missing pieces of himself started to be pieced back together. 

“Are you okay?” you ask him, a curious and amused look in your eyes.

He nods. 

Deep down, he knew he wasn’t letting the friendship go again. 

. . .

“I didn’t have the chance to make anything, so I just went to the store,” Ron apologizes as he begins to take out food containers and lays them out on the picnic blanket. 

“You were going to cook? Wait, actually, you know how to cook?” 

He gives you a faint eye roll. “Yes, I’m not entirely helpless, by the way. But also, my mom has been trying to domesticate me in the event I decide to settle down. That’s been her post-war plan for me.” 

You nod, ignoring the small pitter-patter of your heart. What would it be like to live with a domesticated Ron?

Whoa, you’re not sure where those thoughts stem from, but as he opens up the containers and begins to make you a plate of your favorites, you couldn’t help but wonder. He took the initiative in planning this. He was never late, and if he was going to be late, he made sure to communicate it. He was always conscientious about your feelings and what you wanted to do. He was just—

Were your standards that low, or was Ron just genuinely that great? 

“What was it like?”

“What was what like?” Ron inquires in between bites. 

“The war, being overseas.” 

In a matter of seconds, Ron’s entire body tenses up, and you see the muscles in his neck tighten. “I would rather not talk about that.” 

You nod. “What about the people you served with?”

“Don’t,” Ron replies, sharp and pointed. 

“I shouldn’t have asked, sorry.” You wanted to know, but you understood why he wouldn’t want to share this information with you. It wasn’t an easy experience or an easy topic to discuss. But did that give him the right to be that rude and abrasive with you?

“I shouldn’t have responded the way I did, though, and I apologize for that.” 

“It’s okay,” you reply. 

A few minutes of awkward and heavy silence follows. The only sounds are the other families laughing and talking as they take in the nice weather. Now, you feel incredibly bad for bringing it up, but a part of you feels almost rejected. He doesn’t feel comfortable enough around you to open up. 

The only way you know to end this weirdness is to talk about stories from the people around you, so you dive into the stories of people in the neighborhood and work, throwing in little quips and jokes. It takes a minute for Ron’s icy exterior to melt, but soon, he’s laughing along with your jokes and making small comments here and there. 

Despite the way he’s interacting in the conversation, you can’t help but feel that he’s holding back from you, still. It’s almost as if he doesn’t feel at ease with you right now. 

But then he flashes you one of his brightest and rarest smiles and the way his eyes sparkle as he looks at you and the sunlight shrouding him in a glow sets your entire body on fire. He was always known for being guarded, so you shouldn’t be surprised he’s holding back from the difficult conversations with you. But he doesn’t smile like that for anyone, right? So that has to mean something. 

He means something to you. 

Yeah, you’re screwed. 

. . .

All he said was to come to dinner. You didn’t know what to expect, but all he said was to come to dinner, and no, you shouldn’t bring anything, despite your insistence. Just yourself, he said. 

Just yourself. 

Those words echoed in your mind for the days and the hours that passed between him asking you to come and you arriving at his doorstep. 

Just yourself.

Just yourself. 

Just yourself. 

You’re not someone who often reads into things, especially when it comes to things with romantic feelings involved. For the sake of self-preservation, you didn’t let yourself read into things, but with Ron, you couldn’t help yourself. With every interaction you have with him, you so badly want it to be more. 

Does Ron asking you to go to his mom’s house for family dinner mean something, or are you supposed to go only as friends? 

The spiraling and spinning thoughts don’t stop as Ron welcomes you into the house, takes your jacket, and you shrug off your shoes. Did his fingers linger on your shoulders for a brief moment? Did he hug you a little longer than necessary, than normal? Did he give you a small smile, his eyes twinkling with a purpose? Did he treat everyone else this way, or were you special? 

You so badly wanted to be special. 

As the night went on and you were reintroduced to Ron’s family that you remember from when you were growing up, you pretended not to recognize the curious and interesting looks they gave you and Ron. You ignored the way their eyes drifted to where his hand was guiding you on your back or the way his hands rested on your shoulders when he was introducing you to someone. You ignored their pointed looks as he whispered in your ears every now and then or the looks he gave you. 

No one wanted to say it or ask it, fearing the glare Ron would send them. 

As much as you wanted them to ask or say something, you didn’t want to know what he would say. You didn’t want your worst fears to be confirmed. 

“No,” Ron says, interrupting your thoughts as you make your way to the dinner table, finding a seat on one end of the table, not near where Ron was sitting. He rests his hands on your waist and guides you toward the other end of the table where he’s sitting next to his mom. 

“I can sit there.” 

“No.” 

“Ron—” 

“Don’t make me carry you over there. I want to sit next to you.” 

“Okay,” you reply softly, ignoring the pitter-patter of your heart with the meaning of his words. 

As the meal progresses, you’re sitting, chatting with the people around you, and you nearly jump out of your chair when Ron’s arm goes to rest along your shoulders. No way you can’t read into that, right? Ron’s not known for being a touchy person. That’s how it was growing up, but recently, with you, you can’t help but wonder if that reputation no longer exists for him—at least not with you. He was constantly trying to have some part of his body against yours, but was that something you could read into? 

Your thoughts are interrupted when one of Ron’s aunts calls your name from somewhere across from you. “Are you single?”

You nod, taken aback. “Waiting for the right person to come along.” 

“Well, if Ron isn’t going to do anything and give you an honest life, I have a few children and nieces and nephews who can and will.” 

“Um, thank you.” You’re not sure how to respond to Ron’s aunt, but you look toward the man in question, trying to see what his reaction will be. 

He gives you a small, courteous smile, a smile he never uses with you, a smile he only reserves for those he doesn’t want to talk to. He never uses that smile on you, but tonight, he did. “You can do whatever you want with your romantic life. We’re friends, right?”

Oh. 

“Right,” you reply, turning your head away from him and back to your plate. 

There goes that. 

The way you turned away from him made Ron’s heart drop. You’ve never turned away from him like that, so dejected. The normal fire and spirit you have with Ron disappeared. He watched the sparkle in your eyes die right there in from of him. But he doesn’t know where he went wrong. You’re allowed to do whatever you want; he will never try to control you. He was just telling his nosey aunt the truth. You’re friends, and you can date whomever you want—not that any of his cousins were good enough for you. 

The rest of the night continued, but a nagging feeling pulled at his heart as a deep pit opened in his stomach, and he had no idea where it came from. All he knows is that as he watched you help his mother with the dishes, the string on his heart pulled against him, warming his body in places he never knew possible. As he watched you do puzzles with his younger cousins, he couldn’t help the warm fuzzy feeling that he felt to the tips of his fingers. 

When you hugged him goodbye, he knew he never wanted to let you go. He wanted to hold you against his body forever—keeping you safe from the world. 

Ron couldn’t explain the agony in his body as he watched you walk to your car and drive away. 

Maybe he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life with you. He wouldn’t mind making his life for you. 

Well, what does that mean? 

. . . 

Ron’s mother was at her reading club for the night, so Ron invited you over for dinner. He promised a “home-cooked meal, don’t give me that face,” and it excited you. Despite your realized feelings for the man, you can’t help but want to spend your time with him. You know that nothing will ever come of your feelings for Ron, but you can’t stay away from your friend. The happiness it brings you is indescribable. 

But you have an exit plan when you feel yourself getting too much in your head (and delusional) around Ron. 

Setting boundaries, you promised yourself. That was the only way you’d be able to spend time around him and not go crazy, breaking your heart. 

As Ron welcomes you into his mother’s home, the smells from the kitchen hit your nose, and you’re instantly warm and fuzzy as if you’ve been wrapped in a warm blanket. Once your coat and shoes are off, Ron takes your hand and guides you toward the kitchen, giving you a soft smile as he watches you walk through his childhood home. 

You’ve been down this hallway, seeing all the pictures of little Ron, many, many times, but there’s something different about it now for Ron. There’s a new meaning and feeling to it for him. 

But he just chalks it up to being happy that it’s finally peacetime. That he can enjoy moments like these without the fear of being bombed or killed. The people and things most important to him are safe. 

“Penne-vodka,” Ron answers when you inquire about what you’re making. 

Your favorite, you think to yourself, trying to hide the toothy smile begging to be released. 

“Your favorite, right?” he asks, a small twinkle in the corner of his eyes. You give him a small nod, and Ron can’t help the triumphant, happy feeling deep in his chest. 

Ron turns back to the stove, stirring the pot, and you take the time to watch him cook. He’s different than high school, and as your eyes roam over his body, you’re appreciative of the changes his body has undertaken since graduating. The very good changes. 

“Have you talked to anyone from our graduating class since being back?” you ask after a few minutes of silence. 

“Not really,” he replies, short and to the point. “It’s not something I’m too keen on.” 

“Why’s that?” you question in between bites of bread.

He shrugs, ending the conversation there. 

Right, that’s Ron’s new thing. If he doesn’t want to talk about something, he’ll shut down. These conversations only happen on his time—which means never. While you understand that some topics may be too difficult for him to talk about, you wish it wasn’t so hard to talk with him. Often, you were the one who was starting the conversation, pretty much begging for Ron to say something. You knew he was engaged in the conversation because he maintained constant eye contact, laughed at your jokes, smiled at the appropriate times, and nodded when needed. But it felt like you were the only one who made an effort to talk. Sure, Ron was a quiet person, but there’s a difference between being a quiet person and letting the conversation be one-sided. 

Besides, it was you. If Ron couldn’t talk to you, then he couldn’t talk to anyone. Or was it that he wouldn’t talk? 

Why did it hurt you that Ron kept his words hidden and tucked away from you? You were supposed to be one of the people he trusted the most, so why couldn’t he untuck those words with you? 

As you help Ron set the table to eat, you recall the time a few weeks back when you went to Ron’s for a family dinner. You remember that he didn’t say anything really to his relatives. While that made you feel slightly better, it didn’t fully appease your feelings. At least you knew that it wasn’t just you that he held back with, but then again, it was you, and there was no change.  

As the meal continues, you put your confusion and doubts to the side. It didn’t matter his lack of talking or conversation because the safety, comfort, and warmth you felt around Ron significantly outweighed the talking issue. Even if you only got friendship out of him, you knew that you couldn’t go the rest of your life without the way he made you feel. 

He made you feel safe and loved (even if platonically), and that by far was one of the most important things to you about finding a partner—romantically or platonically. 

The rest of the night passed in quiet moments and short conversations, but it was never awkward. That’s how Ron was. There was no need to compensate for the lack of conversation because the quiet wasn’t awkward. It was secure and calm. It was the kind of quiet that came from years and years of learning and growing around the person you loved. 

Well, shit, you chose to ignore that. 

When it was about time for you to head home, you began to voice a goodbye, and Ron led you towards the front door where he helped you put on your coat. 

“Wait, hold on,” Ron says as you’re putting on your shoes. “I have something for you.” 

He quickly makes his back to the kitchen and comes back with a tray of food. You already had a large container filled with leftover Penne vodka, so you’re confused about what he was now handing you. 

“I made you mac and cheese,” he tells you softly, the cheeks and the tips of his ears tinged red. “You can either put it all in the oven at once, or heat up chunks separately. I don’t know why I told you that because I’m sure you know how to cook for yourself. Anyway, I’ll help you take it out to your car.” 

You can’t help the silly smile that takes over your face. You try to fight it, but the smile is there if Ron’s reddening face is any indication. You’ve wanted this boy to talk to you, and by the time you finally get him to say more than two sentences to you, he’s a stern, babbling, blushing mess. It was cute.

“Thank you, Ron,” you tell him, the smile heard in your voice. He nods and makes his way to put on his shoes and walk you to your car. 

With the food and leftovers securely placed in your backseat, you and Ron linger at the driver’s side door. You’re leaning against the car as Ron stands close to you, towering over both you and the car. His eyes are searching your face for any indication of what to do next. 

“Thank you for having me and cooking for me,” you finally say. You didn’t want to leave, but it was getting late, and his mother will be home soon. 

“You’re always welcome here,” he tells you, his eyes sincere and honest. You nod. Without thinking, you lean forward and briefly kiss Ron on his cheek, your lips burning when you pull away, but it’s not any comparison to the way his cheek burns around where you kissed him. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice the way Ron’s hand stiffens into a fist as he processes what just happened. His breath is shaky and fast as you pull back, and his eyes are in a daze. 

This time, you’re able to hide your smile as Ron’s face turns crimson red. 

“I’ll see you soon,” you tell him, unlocking your car and getting ready to leave. “Good night.” 

Ron stands there in a daze as you drive away, too confused to move. He’s standing there, unsure of what just happened and why his body reacts the way it did. 

When his mother returns home almost twenty minutes later, Ron is still standing there. 

“Is everything okay?” she asks as she walks over to Ron. That seems to mostly pull him out of his daze. 

“She kissed me,” is all he says, and his mother smiles. 

“You’re a lucky guy.”

He nods. “Very lucky.” 

If only he could control his body temperature and heartbeat then maybe he’d be able to figure out what just happened. 

. . . 

“Do you remember Arden from middle school?” you prompt, your heart tugging at the meaning of your words. 

Ron thinks for a moment, his thumb drawing circles around your ankle. You’re sitting on the couch in the living room of his mother’s home. She’s out, so you feel comfortable resting against one of the armrests, your feet in Ron’s lap. You’re reading a book. The minute your legs rested in Ron’s lap, he placed his arms on your ankles, tracing small patterns, leaving trails of fire in his fingertips’ wake. 

“Yes,” Ron voices, his tone neutral. He doesn’t know where this is going, but if it’s going where he thinks it’s going, he’s not going to appreciate it. 

“They asked me out,” you say after a few moments. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Ron asks, terser than you expected. You’re taken aback by his response. 

“Because you’re my friend—one of my best friends—and we tell each other things,” you reply. “Well, at least I tell you things.” 

“What does that mean?” Ron asks, him now taken aback. 

“It means you don’t tell me anything. I know nothing about your life since we finished high school, and what I do know, your parents have told me. It’s not fair for me to be the only one to share things! I don’t exist as a form of entertainment for you.” 

“That’s not fair.” 

You know it’s not entirely fair. 

“I don’t have to share what the war was like for me,” Ron spits back. But that’s not what you’re referencing, and deep down, you know that he knows that, too. 

“It’s not just that,” you reply. “I’m not talking about that. You’re not required to tell me anything about your time in the war, and that’s not what I’m asking for. There’s so much more to your life that you choose not to tell me about. It’s not fair or right that I’m an open book, and you take it all in, not giving anything back in return.” 

“Don’t do that.” 

“You know everything about me, and I know pretty much nothing about you, and I’m tired of that.” A deep sigh leaves your mouth. “You don’t need to tell me everything, but I shouldn’t be disappointed in the lack of open communication between us. It’s as if you don’t trust me.”

“How can you say that? I trust you more than anyone else in this world!” Ron hears the rise in the volume of his voice. He leans back on the couch, trying to stop himself from yelling because you’re right. He doesn’t share much with you. As much as he wants to share with you, he can never get himself to say anything, and it’s not just about the war. He’s holding back; he knows he is. 

“I’m going to leave.” 

“No, please, don’t,” Ron pleads. Despite this, he releases his hold on your ankles. He won’t hold you back despite how badly he wants to. 

“You have no idea how much you mean to me, Ron.” It’s a thinly veiled confession of love, and you know Ron picks up on it, but you know he won’t say anything or give you a response.

“What makes you think I want that?” So, he was going to address it, but it still got you fuming. 

“I don’t! That’s the whole point! You don’t talk to me, so I have no idea what’s going on in your mind! I don’t want to waste my time, but I don’t want to spend my time with anyone else but you!”

You’re staring at him, begging for him to say something, anything. If he told you it was all in your head, you’d believe him. All he needed to say was anything, but you know he won’t. That’s not the kind of person Ron is. He has his walls up; he always has. The war only reinforced them, and while you can’t blame him for keeping things to himself, you can’t help but feel that your worth in his eyes diminished because of his lack of want to share. It’s almost as if you don’t mean as much to him as he means to you. It’s as if you’re more invested than he is in this relationship—platonic or romantic. 

It’s not fair to think those thoughts, but he’s not saying anything to you. He’s not making you feel any better. If he really cared for you in any way, he would say something, right? Ron’s perceptive. He very likely has a clue to what you’re feeling, but you also know he won’t say anything. He stays away from uncomfortable conversations because he isn’t comfortable having them. 

“I’m going to leave, now,” you finally decide. “It’s not fair for me to keep hanging around when I clearly don’t mean that much to you.” 

“You’re wrong,” Ron spills, reaching out to gently grab your hand. You know that he could have held you tighter, but he didn’t. That makes your heart melt, despite the conclusions you’re gathering tonight. He’s giving you the ability to walk away. 

“Tell me why.” You’re looking deep into his eyes, and you want to read into all the looks he’s giving you, but you won’t. Not anymore. 

A few minutes pass where you’re looking at him, silently begging him to say something. 

“I’m leaving now. Please don’t contact me unless you genuinely understand where I’m coming from or why I’m doing this.” With that, you shake your hand out of Ron’s hold, walking away from him, your heart breaking with every step you take. 

As he watches you walk out the door, fuming in anger, confusion, and frustration, Ron can’t help but wonder if he let the best love of his life walk away forever. 

. . . 

A few days pass, and Ron feels a deep aching in his soul. He watches the phone for hours, begging and hoping you’ll call. He knows you won’t call. He knows the cards are in his hands. That doesn’t mean he knows what to do. 

Well, he knows what to do, but he doesn’t know if he’s capable of carrying it out. 

Ron doesn’t know where to start. 

There’s so much of what you said that’s bothering him, but he can’t tell why it’s bothering him. Maybe it’s because of the way your words pierced a hole through his heart, but then again, there are so many other feelings and things that only came out in his heart, mind, stomach, and body whenever you were around. Are those things connected? 

The first thing that made his blood boil and had Ron seeing red was the idea of you going on a date with someone. In theory, the person who asked you out (they who shall not be named) isn’t objectively a bad person, but Ron just doesn’t want you with them. Why would you spend your time with they who shall not be named when you can spend your time with Ron? He doesn’t understand why he’s feeling this angry about you spending your time with someone else. 

It’s a date, Ron tries to reason with himself. I can’t give that to her.

But could he? 

Those thoughts ran through his mind one night at 2 am when Ron couldn’t fall asleep. Could he give you all of your wants and desires romantically? Could he find it in himself to give you a life with more than just friendship? Objectively, Ron knows that out of all the people in the world, you’re the best option to build a life with, and you’re the only person Ron knows he can handle. But that’s not fair to you, to be the last resort (or is it the best resort? Ron hasn’t gotten there, yet.) or someone to “handle.”

The thought of spending the rest of his life with you freaks him, but it also comforts him. Who knew someone could feel both at the same time? Is this what it means to love someone? 

Once he has that singular thought, your other comments spring up in his mind, pushing away any thoughts of love. 

It’s not fair or right that I’m an open book, and you take it all in, not giving anything back in return. 

The war broke Ron. He was already broken, but the war broke him in ways that he never knew he could break. He’s so broken that he couldn’t imagine subjecting you to that. But that’s my decision to make, Ron, he could hear you saying if he voiced those words to you. And imaginary-you is right. It’s intimately clear that you know what you’d be getting when it comes to Ron, and it would be your choice to choose to make a life with him, but he doesn’t want to hurt you. He knows he can prevent that pain if he keeps you at arm’s length. 

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Ron doesn’t want that. He wants you as close to him as molecularly possible. He wants to stay away, but he can’t. That’s the effect you have on him. 

He thinks he has it all figured out, and then he remembers the pain in your eyes as you walked away, and when you said,

It’s not fair for me to keep hanging around when I clearly don’t mean that much to you.

He’s already hurt you. By not having the capacity or the ability to tell you just how much you mean to him, he hurt you. You think you mean nothing to him when the truth is the exact opposite. You are his entire world, the reason his heart keeps beating, and the reason he takes a breath. But it’s gone. 

He’s never going to be able to tell you how much you mean to him. He’s never going to tell you how much he loves you.

That thought scares him but also excites him. He’s always been so afraid to think that of himself, but when it’s connected to you, it’s okay. He loves you and knows he’s not good at loving, but somehow, loving you is much better than anything else. He knows that because it’s you, he’ll find a way to fix his shit and be the best possible person for you. But he knows that you won’t let him go and you won’t let him fall. Loving you is the best thing he can do because he found someone who will hold on with their entire being, and Ron knows that he’ll hold onto you with his entire being. 

Loving you means that he takes those scary steps in opening up and being vulnerable. For so long, it was ingrained in Ron’s mind and survival that he couldn’t be vulnerable. Now, he’s learned that in some instances, it’s important not to be vulnerable, and in other circumstances, it’s okay to be vulnerable and open. Being vulnerable is okay because there’s someone there who will take your vulnerability and build a wall around you to the point that you’re safe and comfortable. 

And Ron knows that person is you. 

You’ll take his fragility, emotions, and vulnerability and make it your own. You’ll protect him and love him, and you won’t hurt him because he chose to be fully himself around you. 

Because that’s what love does. 

Love cures. Love protects. Love endures. But most importantly, love loves. 

Ron loves you. 

He loves you. 

He loves you so wholly that he wants to spill his entire world right at your feet. He wants to lay everything at your feet, but he knows it will take time and patience. He knows that you’re that person who will let him get there, and he knows that he’ll love you for it and make it worth your while to give him the time and the way to be vulnerable. 

For a moment, Ron’s scared that maybe he lost his chance with you, but then he remembers something you said that struck him deep in his heart, not knowing the effect it had: 

I don’t want to waste my time, but I don’t want to spend my time with anyone else but you!

He knows it’s not guaranteed that you’ll let him back in your life, but he knows he has a small chance. He knows he has a small chance to tell you how much he loves you and to show you that he’s worth it. He’s worth taking a risk for because you’re worth taking a risk for. 

You’re worth everything to Ron, and it’s about time he finds the words to tell you. 

Maybe all he needs to start with is three little words.

. . . 

“You’re right,” Ron blurts out, barely letting you open your door. 

“I mean, yeah, but why do you say that?” you say, a small smile on your face despite the conversation you both had a few nights ago.

“That it’s not fair of you to be the only one to share things. I’m not ready to tell you everything, and I don’t know if I ever will be able to tell you some parts of what happened to me, but I want to try. But you’re right, there’s so much more to that than just the war, and it’s not fair of me to have made you feel lesser because I’m not emotionally capable of telling you things or being the person you needed me to be. ”

“Ron—” 

This was everything you wanted him to say to you, but does it change anything?  

He shakes his head. “If I want to be with you and make a life with you, I shouldn’t be a ghost to you. I shouldn’t be someone you know nothing about.” 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re uncomfortable with,” you attempt to reassure. “That wasn’t the point.” And that was the truth. 

Ron nods, and a small smile tugs at his lips. If only he knew the things he could make you do with just that small smile. “I’ve always been afraid of people knowing too much about me, but I guess the part of falling in love is learning to trust the most important person in your life, and I trust you. I trust you. I want to tell you all the words that are building up in my mind because you’re the only person I want to share them with. I have so many words built up in my mind that it feels like my body will explode. I never wanted to try with anyone else, but you make me want to do better and be better. Even if this goodbye, I’m still going to make an effort for all the people that matter in my life.” 

“If it feels like your body is going to explode, maybe you should go to the doctor. That can’t be a good sign.” 

A chuckle of disbelief leaves Ron’s mouth as he shakes his head. 

“What?” you question. No response follows. Ron gently grabs your upper arm and pushes you into your home as he lets himself inside. Gently and with reluctance, he lets go of your arms and shoves off his shoes. 

“I tell you I’m in love with you and I trust you, and the only thing you got from that was maybe I should go to the doctor?” 

“Oh, oops.” 

“Yeah, oops,” Ron mocks, one of the widest smiles you’ve ever seen stripes his face. “I’m falling in love with you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me, and you never were going to lose me.” 

He shakes his head. “You really know how to make a man’s heart weaken and emasculate him. But I guess I deserve this bit of agony and anguish.”

“I’m not doing anything!” 

“I’m telling you I love you, and you keeping skipping over that part.” 

“Because you keep saying things that warrant my more imminent response!” you defend.

“You’re doing it again,” Ron points, stepping towards you. 

“No, I don’t think so.” 

“I’m going to try something,” Ron teases. He’s never teased you before. That was new; it was a new tone to his voice that you wouldn’t mind hearing for the rest of your life. 

“What’s that?” your voice shaky. You can’t tell if he can hear you over the rattling of your heart, but by the twinkling in his eyes, you know that he’s in complete control, hoping to elicit a response from you. 

“I love you.” 

It takes a few seconds for you to register what he’s saying. A few blinks help your visual field clear up. Those three little words wipe the air out of your lungs. The ringing in your ears matches the beat of your heart as you process those three little words. For so long, you’ve been waiting for Ron to utter those three words. You didn’t want to be the first one to say those words. He’s so incredibly guarded that you weren’t sure if you were making up how you felt or how he felt, but now you know. You’ve been waiting so long to hear him finally tell you those three little words, and you have no idea what to do next. 

“Hey,” Ron whispers, gently lifting your chin to match his eyeline, taking you out of your thoughts. “What’s going on in your mind? Did I say the wrong thing?”

“What—what did you say?” Your breath is shaky, words finally leaving your lips. 

“Do you promise that if I say it again, you promise not to silently spiral?”

“No.” 

Ron chuckles. “Fair enough.”

A few seconds pass. You’re looking deep into his eyes. You want to say it to him, but you’re unsure if you dreamed it. But also, the way he said those words, his voice deep and husky did so many things to your body that you needed to hear it again. 

“I love you.” A small, nervous smile tugs at his lips as he looks at you expectantly. It takes you a few seconds to get your bearings straight, but when you do, a wide smile overcomes your face, and instantly, Ron knows you’re on the same page as him. In a matter of milliseconds, Ron pulls you against his chest, nuzzling his face against your neck, taking in deep breaths, laced with your calming scent. He’s whispering small “I love you”s into your neck as your arms find their way around his shoulders, your fingers creeping into his hair. 

Despite wanting to be in his embrace for the rest of your life, you pull back slightly, your nose resting against his. “I love you,’ you whisper, wanting so badly to close the gap between your lips and kiss him. 

“You have no idea how much I love you,” Ron replies, his lips brushing against yours. It doesn’t take much for you both to lean in, closing the gap, resting your lips on each other’s. It’s a soft kiss, hesitant and scary. There are still things that need to be sorted out, but right now, things are alright. Things are okay. The basis and the foundation are there. 

You love each other. Without that, nothing else matters. With that, you and Ron can build and develop things from there. With love, all the hidden words will no longer be tucked away, slowly finding their way to the surface. 

The future is uncertain, and there’s no telling if this will work out. But because you and Ron love each other, everything and anything is possible. With love, the future is endless. 

Fin.

Likes are appreciated; reblogs are better

[hourcat]

Piarles + 21. Accidental pregnancy 😳 (anonymous bc I've got shy about the prompt dkdjkdj:')

21. Accidental Pregnancy

(everyone please be nice to me this is my first a/b/o)

Charles thought the hardest part would be saying it out loud.

Well, actually, he thought the hardest part would be actually accepting it himself. There’d been a stomach bug going around campus, students and fellow professors alike, and he’s not exactly known for having the strongest immune system in the first place. But his doctor had recommended it as a precaution—Omega biology is funny when it comes to viral infections, he’d said, and really, it’s just better to be safe than sorry. The university covers testing costs, anyway, so it’s not like he’s going to be paying out of pocket.

That night, he’d stared at the stick for hours, the little positive line so front-and-center before his eyes it’d become burned into his eyelids. There’s no way, he’d repeated like a mantra. I can’t be pregnant. I can’t. It's not like—he hasn't been mated, hasn't even really had a true alpha to go running to, although that's definitely been less than true the last few months. But he and Pierre…it's casual. The university they work at is strict about Heat Maintenance, especially since they're exposed to so many young Alphas and Omegas each day from class to class: Pierre is the literature department co-chair, and Charles has spent plenty of time with him over their overlapping tenure, so it'd felt like a comfortable enough ask when the new compliance policies were rolled out at the start of last semester.

Omega professors cannot skip heats. So Charles had asked Pierre, the Alpha he's got the best relationship with, to help out from time to time. Pierre had graciously agreed, and since August, they've been doing this—working through Charles' cycles together.

(An understatement, he knows: sometimes he swears the thought of Pierre's knot inside him triggers his heat days before it's supposed to hit in the first place.)

But the word casual is how Charles has been describing it since the start, alongside maybe convenient, and being pregnant with Pierre's pup is neither casual nor convenient. Because it is Pierre's, Charles has no doubt: he hasn't slept with anyone else since the start of the academic year, even when Pierre's schedule means he can't be there. Truth be told, at this point, he'd rather spend it alone than with anyone else. Charles has only given himself to one Alpha, out of convenience that's turned into something more, and now he's being reminded of the consequences of that.

He doesn't sleep a wink the night he finds out, and when he goes back to the school's doctor the next day and gets it confirmed, he doesn't sleep the night after, either.

Pierre finds him in his office later the following afternoon, the cup of decaf coffee he'd been reluctantly sipping on to keep from falling asleep now cold and even more undesirable. "You look like hell, Charlie," he chuckles, inviting himself in and dropping into one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Were you up grading papers too?"

He's so casual. Charles feels a wave of nausea wash over him at the knowledge that he'll have to tell the truth before his body does it for him. He grips the edge of his desk. This will be the hardest part, he tells himself silently. He'll lose his Alpha (because at this point, that's who Pierre is—no one else will ever be him) and their maintenance agreement, which means he'll be forced to find something else, which means this job he loves so much will be gone in a matter of months. Fuck.

"I…" he starts, but his throat closes around the words I'm pregnant. Hot tears burn at the corners of his eyes.

Pierre notices. Of course he notices, he's Pierre: Charles can smell it on him, the way his sweet amusement harshens into a bitter concern at the sight. "Charles," he murmurs lowly, scooting the chair so close that he can practically drape himself across Charles' desk to hold him, "what is wrong?" He reeks of concern. Charles' stomach turns again. "Charles, please, tell me. What's the matter?"

Charles takes a slow, shuddering breath, swallows thickly, then tries again: "Pierre, I…" fuck, just say it, "I'm pregnant."

And there it is. He's exhausted just from saying it, the words now breathing with life between them: he can't repeat himself, can't elaborate, can only watch as his coworker, his friend, his Alpha registers what he's just said. This is the end, Charles knows. He'll have to schedule his office hours on another day, when he won't bump into Pierre passing through the narrow hallways of their building.

"You're…" Pierre's voice is a whisper, still smelling of concern but with something else that Charles is too distraught to pick out. He looks Charles up and down. "With…with my…?"

Charles can't speak. He just nods. I'm sorry, he wants to say, I'm sorry I let this happen, but nothing will come out.

There's a long beat of silence between them. Pierre just…stares.

He's so beautiful, is the thing: Charles knows their baby would be the most perfect baby to have ever been born, knows it would have his impossible blue eyes and big, toothy smile. It would be Charles' happiest dream—raising a family with Pierre, the perfect Alpha-Omega household.

He'll never have it, of course, but the fantasy of it plays out before his eyes all the same. Charles is sick with want. Hell, maybe it's just sickness from the baby. He's just…too hot in here, Pierre's hands too warm on his body, he needs this to be over. He needs Pierre to just walk away.

"Charles," Pierre says. His voice is still low, still hard to read. "Are you going to…" he swallows, and he looks nervous. "Are you going to…the baby, are you, ah."

Oh. "Keep it?" His voice finally returns. "I, um, I have not really thought about it." The truth. He hadn't thought about anything beyond this moment. "I—"

"You should," Pierre blurts, fingers digging into his arm. "I mean, if you—if you wanted to, I would." He swallows again, exaggerated.

It hits Charles, all of a sudden, what that unidentified scent is.

Love.

[coloredsolos]

hi :) i’d love situations #6 + fluff with jean please. love your writing!

MIRACLE ON 104th STREET

pairing: jean kirstein x reader

prompt: watching christmas movies

content: jeanboy surprises you for christmas, MODERN AU, not proofread

wc: 1.2k

a/n: sorry this took so long! the new semester started and since I’m a senior in college it’s gonna be a little crazy!! also, i'm sorry I kind of broke off from the prompt! find the list of prompts here

“Alone? For Christmas?” Jean asked you, his eyes wide as he did so. 

You shrugged. It’s not like you had chosen to be alone this holiday season, but with your father working all break, you figured you might as well stay in your small apartment. Besides, your roommate, Annie, would be visiting her father, so you would have the place to yourself.

“I don’t see the problem,” you admitted, the walk to Jean’s car seeming longer than ever. Despite your protesting, Jean was driving you home from the 4pm history class the two of you shared. Damn this winter weather.

“W-what?! You don’t see the-! You can’t be alone for Christmas!” Jean practically cried out, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation. 

The now exhausting conversation had started when Jean had begun telling you about his own Christmas plans. Mentioning how he would most likely go visit Sasha’s family again with Connie. It was their tradition, he would tell you. However, when asking about your plans, he did not like the answer he received.

“Jean it’s really ok. Annie will be out of town anyways. It’ll be nice not having to share the living quarters. Besides I’d much rather be alone at my place than sitting there at my dad’s. So can we please drop it?”

Jean sighed, but reluctantly nodded his head. 

There was a chill in the air on Christmas eve.  The snow that fell having no problem sticking to the ground, layering on top of one another until it was several inches thick. You had been bundled under a plethora of blankets while the heat in your apartment worked overtime. Jean has let all of your friends know about your Christmas plans, or lack there of, and now you were starting to regret declining Eren and Mikasa’s offer to come home with them. Especially since Carla made a mean Christmas dinner, or so you heard. The plate of place and bake Christmas cookies sat in front of you. 

They weren’t very good.

You only prayed that the copious amounts of sugar would knock you into a sugar coma that would last until the next day. Most places were closed, and probably would stay that way even a few days after Christmas due to the snow storm that was taking place outside. That being said, the lack of groceries at your place was starting to leave you feeling massively underprepared. Grocery shopping was not your forte. 

While debating if you wanted to pay the delivery fee in your favorite Chinese restaurant, your phone lit up from its place on your coffee table.

Jean: u awake?

You: do I ever sleep?

Jean: true

Jean: wyd

You: freezing to death

You: how’s Sasha’s?

You: did Connie sing the whole car ride there? rip to ur ears

Jean: I wouldn’t know, didn’t go

You were surprised to say the least. Why wouldn’t he go to Sasha’s? It was tradition wasn't it? 

Jean: coming over rn

Jean: damn there’s a shit ton of snow 

You knew there was no bother trying to stop the man from coming over. He was stubborn. Always had been. Instead your fingers hovered over the keyboard of your phone, unsure of what to say next.

Jean: do u want me to bring over groceries? connie bought way too much shit before he left fr 

You: yes pls ur a lifesaver

You: been eating christmas cookies all night 

You: also, please drive safe. I mean it. i’d be pissed at you if you died

Jean: <3

Deciding not to text the man while he was driving, you settled on making the living quarters look a little less like a tornado had ran through it, picking up and putting away any dirty dishes from earlier in the day.

Before too long, Jean was there. His arms draped with grocery bags, he wasn’t kidding when he said Connie may have gone a little crazy. However, you were more focused on how he looked. Jean had been dressed in what looked like a black turtleneck with a gray overcoat keeping him warm. How he always looked straight out of a fashion magazine amazed you. Meanwhile, you were wearing a pair of black sweats with mismatched cat socks on. And yes, they did have little ears on them. 

“Well are you gonna leave me in the hallway all night?” he joked, the smile evident on his face. 

Your face flushed as you realized you had zoned out. 

“Y-yeah, come in.” You stepped out of his way, ushering him inside. 

Jean immediately headed to your kitchen to put the groceries he had brought away. His familiarity with your apartment bringing a smile to your face. Jean shrugged off his overcoat, his muscles straining against the turtleneck that had been underneath. You couldn’t help but stare. It was no secret that your friend was a very attractive man. Not to mention he had the personality to match. His suave attitude, yet gentlemanly charm gaining the attention of many women whenever your friend group had their weekly outings.

“Helloooooo?” Jean waved his hand in front of you, bending slightly so he could meet your eyes. Snapping back to the present, you apologized quickly. 

“Sorry… what?”

“I asked if you’ve eaten? I can make something for us if you’d like.” Jean offered .

You nodded shyly, embarrassed you had been caught daydreaming again. “I’d like that…” 

Jean grinned, pushed up his sleeves and clapped. “Alrighty then!”

The two of you now sat on the maroon sectional located in the middle of your living room, your empty plates resting on the coffee table. 

“I just don’t understand how they forgot their kid at home!” You cried out, your legs tucked under yourself in an attempt to keep yourself warm. 

Jean let out a boisterous laugh, the sound music to your ears. “It’s just a movie! The whole point of Home Alone is being… ya know… home alone.”

You giggled, the harsh air providing the goosebumps on your arm a permanent residency. You shivered slightly despite the mountain of blankets you had been hoarding. 

“Come here.” Jean spoke softly.

“Huh?” 

“You’re cold.” He stated. “Just come here.”

Too cold to argue, you scooted over closer to Jean. His arm that had been resting on the back of the couch pulled you closer to him. You immediately felt relief, his body radiating enough heat for the both of you. You couldn’t help the sigh that fell from your mouth, nuzzling closer to the man without thinking. The tips of Jean’s ears turned a rosy shade of pink as you fell deeper into the man’s chest. 

You let the continuous stream of Christmas movies play lowly on the television. Neither you or Jean wanting to get up to find the remote and change it. Eventually, Jean felt your breath fall steady, the gentle sound of soft snores slipping from you as you slept soundly.

Without thinking, Jean shifted slowly, positioning himself in a more comfortable position, careful not to wake you as he did so. Finally comfortable Jean was able to follow suit, slipping into a warm, comfortable sleep. The soft sound of Christmas movies continued to play in the background for the rest of the night, counting down the hours until you and Jean would wake up and celebrate the holiday together. The first of many holidays together. And truthfully? Jean didn’t mind this being his new tradition. 

[iikkeee]

okay hear me out-

wednesday x gn reader (platonic) where reader has a really shitty family, either negligence, abuse, or both, and wednesday figures it out after the reader is just gone for the entire parents weekend

wednesday says she doesn’t care, that they’re just hiding out, whatever- but she knows and after a good semester of becoming even closer to the reader, during winter break she invites them to stay at her place, knowing that the reader would’ve either snuck into nevermore or found some shitty motel hours away (and wednesday is too protective for that lmao)

you can end it there or continue with the addam’s family taking in the reader with little to no questions because they’re respectful to the people, the culture, even the weird pets and food they have

A/n- hey, i absolutely love this request, I might have changed a few details but overall it’s the same. I hope you enjoy this <3 Also I might make a part two since it just love the idea so much

________________________________________________

You rushed into your dorm, plopping on your bed and screamed into your pillow. You turned on your back and sniffled, the one weekend you dreaded most was finally upon you. Parents weekend.

When your shitty parents sent you to Nevermore it was the best thing that ever happened to you. You hated them. They did everything to make your life a living hell, from hitting you to making comments about the ways you looked. They did everything to make sure that you hated them.

They sent you to this school cause they thought that you were too much for them, especially after you started to stand up for yourself and not take their comments anymore. Even though you did hate them, there was still a part of you that yearned for a family, someone who would take you in and love you the way that you were supposed to be from the start.

You heard the door open and sat up to see Wednesday, she put her coat on the back of her chair and shifted her eyes to see your tear stained face.

"What happened?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed as she sat on her neatly made bed.

"Its nothing, um just some cat video'' You said waving her off as you turned away from her in your bed, taking out your phone to pretend to scroll through it.

You didn't know why you would lie to her, she was your best friend, but you didn't want to involve her with your problems. It wasn't that big of deal right? you thought to yourself as you gently rocked yourself to sleep.

Wednesday sighed before cuddling up in her bed, her eyes wide open as she thought of your previous expression. She recalled the time when she first saw you.

She pushed a spare strand of hair from in front of her face, her eyes shifting as she intently focused on her typewriter. When she heard a knock at the door, she sighed. Dusting off her hands as she got up from her chair and opened the door to reveal a smiling Ms. Thornhill with a strange girl behind her, she was wearing bandages on her face and a big sweater that hid half of her body.

"Hey Wednesday, this is your new roommate'' She said motioning to the strange girl who had her head down.

''I thought I clearly informed Principal Weems that I don't want a roommate'' Wednesday stated glaring at bubbly teacher in front of her.

"Yes, I'm sorry Wednesday, but you're the only one in the dorm without a roommate." Ms. Thornhill smiled before letting herself and the girl in. Wednesday rolled her eyes as she closed the door behind them.

"So Y/n this is Wednesday, she might be a little imitating...but she won't bite'' She said smiling at the two girls

"Who said I wouldn't?" Wednesday threatened, Ms. Thornhill's eyes widened before she awkwardly chuckled.

You thought about her joke and snickered, your mood immediately lightening.

"I'm Y/n L/n, its nice to meet you'' You said giving her a small smile before lifting your hand up for her to shake.

Wednesday cautiously looked you and down before looking to your hand, you wrist was full of purple bruises that matched the ones of your neck. And for that moment Wednesday truly felt sorry for someone in her cold black heart.

"Wednesday Addams, I hope we'll get along." She nodded as she firmly shock your hand.

"Well, looks like you guys are going to get along. Um, remember that I'm right down the hall if you need anything" Ms. Thornhill smiled before waving goodbye and leaving the room.

From that day Wednesday suspected that you probably had something going on at home, but she didn't mind. Even though other students left you for being a bit weird, she didn't mind. You and her became best friends from that point on.

That's why she felt sad for you as soon as she remembered the weekend that would fall the next day, she wished she could comfort you but she knew that it was wrong for her to ask you if you didn't feel comfortable. She sighed before closing her eyes and falling into a dreamless sleep.

When you woke up you felt horrible, you never wanted to get out of bed. You wanted to just rot, but you know that the teachers would give you shit if you didn't get up. So you did exactly that, you quickly got into your uniform and sat your desk boreally as you waited for the dreaded time of which you were forced to make your way to the courtyard to see all of the parents.

"You ready for this?" You asked Wednesday as you saw her put her black tie on.

"Of course not, my parents have been spying on me ever since I got here'' She scoffed as she tidied up and grabbed her suit jacket, quickly slipping it on as she reached her hand out for you.

"I think that's kind of sweet'' You chuckled as you grabbed her hand and got up, following her out to the courtyard.

You wished you had the problem of your parents being so worried that they would spy on you, but instead your parents would rather send you to a school where they wouldn't have to see you for a year.

When you heard Principal Weems make the announcement to the start of the weekend your throat went dry. Your knuckles turning white as you looked around to the smiling faces of students who ran happily into their parents and families arms.

Wednesday was about to say something before she got dragged off by what you only could assumed was her parents. You gulped before breathing heavily, trying to calm yourself down before you couldn't handle it.

You felt tears form into yours as the longer you stuck around you got sadder and remembered the trauma you had to endure from your family. You clenched your hands before turning and running into a secluded area, you sighed as you crouched down and kept you head down.

You closed your eyes, trying to think of anything else as you put your head against the wall. You picked up you sleeve to see the scars on your wrists. The marks of bruises still there from your parents, you hugged your body close as you thought of the things that had happened to you.

As much as you hated your family, you did for some reason wish they were here for you. Everyone else had their parents, even Enid whose parents also disliked her. They still showed, but your parents who wished to making your life a living hell at any chance didn't come.

You looked over to Wednesday as she rolled her eyes at her brother, but you knew that she was having at least a little bit of fun, you always saw how she looked at the pictures of her parents. As much as she said she hated them, you knew that she loved them deeply. Wednesday sighed as she tried to deal with her brothers clingy'ness

"I missed you Wednesday'' He said as she hugged her side tightly

"Stop being so weak Pugsley'' She rolled her eyes as she pushed him off of her.

"So Wednesday, make any new friends?" Morticia asked, her hand moving to her daughters arm.

"Perhaps someone who warms your heart?" Gomez asked flourishing his hands, as they walked out of the courtyard.

"I suppose so." She said blankly before looking around the courtyard to not find you anywhere

"Oh goody! Perhaps we could met this friend of yours?" Morticia said practically jumping up and down as she held her daughter close

"What's their name??" Gomez exclaimed

"Y/n...give me a moment." She muttered to her parents before she walked away leaving them standing, they brushed it off knowing that Wednesday was prone to occasionally disappearing for whatever reasons she had.

Wednesday looked around, going through every corner as she tried to find you, usually she would've just left you alone but she just had a feeling in her gut that she had to find you.

"Enid, do you know where Y/n is?" She asked the colorful haired girl who was behind a pillar, presumably hiding from her parents.

"No clue, I haven't seen her all day...please help me'' She begged a frown present on her face

"You're on your own'' Wednesday said, evoking a whimper from the wolf behind her.

She turned the corner and there you sat, you had your head laying agains the wall as you your hair covered your face messily, makeup running down your cheeks as you tried to wipe your tears away.

She sighed before siting down in front of you and pulling you into a hug. You were surprised when you felt someone hugging you, but your body quickly untensed after smelling a familiar scent of black dahlia's and blackberries.

She held you tightly and you cried into her arms, you felt at peace with her like never before. You knew that she didn't know the exact reason as to why you were upset but even without that knowledge she still hugged you and kept you safe.

After that day you and Wednesday somehow became even closer than before, she was the greatest friend you've ever had in your life and would go anywhere with her, didn't matter the time or place, and she would do the same for you. Despite the differences in your personalities, you still got along amazingly.

When you got outside of your classroom you shivered from the cold, even your 3 layers of coats couldn't save you from the strong wind outside.

"It so cold, I think i'm going to die'' You managed to get out as you hugged your body close.

"It's snowing..." Wednesday said as she put her hand out and a few piece of snow landed in her palm

"How are you not freezing?!" You exclaimed, frightened by the sight of her with her usual uniform on with no jacket.

"I enjoy the cold" She said blankly as she walked towards your dorm, you rolled your eyes and quickly followed her. When you got in you immediately plopped on your bed, taking off all the covers and laying them on top of yourself.

You sighed as you looked over to Wednesday who was busy packing up her clothing into a gothic suitcase. Wednesday looked at your sad form and suddenly felt bad

"Where are you going for break?" She asked as she folded a shirt into her luggage

"Oh gosh...who knows? I'm probably going to just go to a hotel..." You said laying back in your bed.

"By yourself...?" Wednesday asked her eyebrows furrowed, she didn't want you to stay in such an unfamiliar place by yourself, and you were far to young to be doing such things.

"mhm" You replied back, as you warmed up your hands in your blanket.

"Come stay with me and my family" She said blankly

"I could n-" You said, you couldn't stay with her, you felt like such a nuisance

"If you say no, I will kill you myself'' She said as she stared at you intently

"okay." You said quickly shutting up at her threat.

When you arrived to her house, you didn't know what to expect. She was full of surprises and her house definitely showed her gothic side. It was first of all humongous and blacker than any color you've seen on a painting.

"Your house is beautiful'' You said your eyes widened as you got out of the car.

"Mother has a certain taste for interior...and exterior design.'' She replied blankly while giving her luggage to the zombie like man, Lurch was his name, that you had met just minutes before.

"Don't worry about your bags, Lurch has it" She said rubbing her hands before opening the door to the huge house, you followed behind her.

With the creek of the door you were suddenly met with the family of Wednesday, there was tall women who had long black hair and beautiful black dress that showed the curves in her hips and waist quickly smiled and usher you inside.

"Oh it is so good to finally meet you'' She exclaimed as she grabbed your hands and pulled you closer in the group of who you could assume would be Wednesday's father, brother, and of course thing.

"Don't crowd her mother'' Wednesday rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms

"Ah Wednesday, its nice for you to be home'' Her father said as he pulled her into a hug, that was surely one-sided

"Anyways, this is my family. My mother Morticia, Gomez, and then my little brother Pugsley.'' She said shaking off her father before walking away.

"You have an amazing house Mrs. Addams'' You said formal as you stared in awe at all the gothic styles taking place

"Thank you, also you could just call me Morticia'' She said rubbing your shoulder and smiling.

"It's very nice that Wednesday has made a friend, so tell me how has she been'' Gomez asked.

"She's been good, she's been an amazing friend to me'' You said, quietly remembering how much of a comfort she had been to you all school year.

"Ah, just as we raised our little bat to be'' He replied holding his heart as he looked off to who knows where. Silence hit the room, but it was strangely comforting.

"Come on, let us go to the common room'' Morticia said as she shooed everyone into a darkly lit room that had black couches and skull decorations.

"So tell my darling, what is your name?" She asked as she sat down, bringing her husband down to the couch with her.

"Y/n L/n" You replied, realizing you had yet to introduce yourself truly.

"So do you have any family?" Gomez asked as he held his wives hand in his.

"Oh um....well'' you said as you slipped onto the comfy couch, Wednesday resided next to you, you didn't notice but Wednesday gave her parents a death glare as soon as they asked the question.

"Well, that doesn't matter, lets just enjoy our time... right Gomez?" Morticia said clearing her throat as she took the hint from daughter.

"Of course'' He replied back, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Wednesday, why don't you take your friend to your room.. of course Pugsely should go too'' Gomez said as he motioned towards the three of you.

"Okay, don't do anything stupid Pugsley'' She said as she got up and held her hand out for you, which you quickly grabbed, Pugsley following close behind.

You were about to the leave the room before you felt a tap on your shoulder, you looked back to see Gomez and Morticia standing there.

"Sorry of my question made you uncomfortable honey" Gomez apologized as he rubbed your shoulder.

"It's alright, you didn't know'' You replied a weak smile on your face

"Oh...also just know we're here whenever, if you need to talk..." Morticia said giving you a comforting smile

"Thank you..'' You said almost tearing up, before you pulled both of them in a hug. They quickly hugged you back and held you close, their warm bodies immediately making you feel calm.

For the first time in your life you felt like you had a family, even if they were your best friends family. It was still nice to know that you could count on other people, especially with all the abuse you had to endure when you were in your family home.

It was different here, and you loved it more than anything in the world. You were so glad for your best friend and her family.

_________________________________________________

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Tw: bullying underneath the cut

Long story short: if you have any advice on how to deal with bullying by social exclusion, let me know (but I don't have a teacher or boss or some authority figure I could ask to help, in case you were about to suggest that)

Long story long:

I didn't think I'd ever be in such a position again in which I feel so utterly alone. I thought after high school it would be over. Yet here we are, yet once again. I'm in Japan right now, have been since September last year. I'm in a small city, the only student from my homecountry and one of the few Europeans.

I was close to the Europeans and Australians until about December. One French girl stopped talking to me, and I noticed that the group stopped inviting me to stuff (lunches, dinners, trips, pub (well Izakaya) nights, drinking, just hanging out). It really killed my mood then already. But it got worse and worse until I asked her in February if I had done something that had upset or hurt her because she wasn't talking to me anymore. Her response was basically a long version of "I hate you". What really irritated me was the degrading language she used in the messages we exchanged. It was very obvious that she was looking down on me and felt the need to raise herself above me verbally. I know that not everyone likes me, and that's okay with me, but since I treat even people I don't like with respect, it irritated me how degrading she was.

It needed my mum to point it out to me to realise what she had done was effectively bullying by social exclusion. She manipulated the others into stopping to invite me, because she doesn't like me, most likely because she feels threatened by me in some form.

In these months the people I had been closest to (both foreigners and locals) stopped hanging out with me, which was a hard mental blow. In March I was traveling a lot, and since April I have regularly been playing volleyball with a group but I'm not close with either of them (we just don't seem to have chemistry for more than volleyball and dinners after). And I have my dance club, but being the only foreigner there does make things difficult sometimes, even though everyone is incredibly nice. But it's very hard building some kind of relationship with them beyond the training.

Then the new semester started, and I thought I'd have two French classmates to go to lunch with and my club and occasionally the volleyball people.

Except that the girl who started everything seems to try to push into the Volleyball group and the one French guy who I was closest with, also has begun distancing himself recently. And I'm about 99% certain it's by some kind of influence of this girl. The other person who goes to lunch with me is sweet and we get along but it's more like a "she's with us because we are nice to her and she doesn't have anyone else"-relationship. Plus she doesn't really like hanging out so much, especially in groups (which is fine! I still invite her every time I plan something, in case she wants to join, but most often she prefers to have the spare time to herself, which I also understand).

And since last week it has become really obvious that this guy who I almost considered my best (guy) friend (nobody reaches the person who, while reading this will know I'm talking about her) has been drawing back from me too. The thing is, I already told him about the problem a few weeks ago, but maybe that's what started it? I don't know. I know that if he had to "choose" between me and this other girl, he'd choose her, because they're from the same university.

Have I hidden in the bike parking lot during practice because I randomly started crying? Yes. Did I almost start crying on Saturday while we were rehearsing the formation? Yes. Have I cried to my mum about it yesterday so much that my eyes still hurt today? Yes. I've been here before and it hurt all the worse because of that. I have seen this picture before, people who knew I was gonna join them for lunch, sitting down at a table with too few chairs and too little space for me to join as well.

I don't really know what to do. I want to talk to some club people about it, but I don't know if it is wise, since in Japan the culture surrounding sharing problems is different. I run danger of making myself a burden to them (that's what it might be perceived like if you share problems).

I could ask some friends who have lived in Japan, if they think it's okay to share this with some club friends. And I was thinking I could write an Email to my supervisor, even though technically he's only there to answer if I have questions concerning research.

And I was thinking about talking to the one volleyball guy because he's training to become a middle school teacher and he might have learnt about how to handle bullying.

But if anyone else has any ideas on what I could/should do, please let me know. I feel so lonely at the moment, because I don't have anyone I can talk to in person and I don't even have anyone who speaks my native language. I usually try not to think about it and distract myself with rehearsing for the club, but because I've done that for over a week straight now, my body demands a break. I just really don't know what to do. Please send me a message, an ask, anything. I'd appreciate it immensely.

[delusioncorner]

Knock at the Window

(Spider-Man x Reader)(T)

Whilst studying for a big final exam, you hear a knock coming from your bedroom window...which is weird because you live on the 5th floor of an apartment building. Who on earth could that be?

(This is kind of long and maybe a bit shit but I wrote it because I lowkey miss school)

-

The words begin to blur for the seventh time since I've started the tedious- and albeit very stupid- task of pulling an all-nighter for the exam I have tomorrow morning at exactly 7:30 in the morning. Hard, heavy blinks start to plague my eyes and I thought very briefly that I was going to lose this battle that I was fighting with my sleep. I sigh and close my eyes tight, taking deep breaths in and out, in and out, in and out.

When I open my eyes again I look towards the clock hanging on my wall and feel a sense of dread crawl up my spine. 3:45am. Another sigh escapes my lips and my heart begins to race. It's almost 4 in the morning, my exam- that my entire career depends on- is in 3 and a half hours, and I've barely read through half the notes I've taken in preparation for this goddamned test. My eyes start to well with tears and a sense of helplessness fills me rapidly. I've just been so busy the past couple of days with work, school, and my internship at Alchemex. Everything I do combines into one long event that starts at 6am and ends at about 9pm and the times I do have a small break I spend it with Peter. I know I should be focusing on my studies especially with the end of the year staring me right in the face and the promise of grad school welcoming me with its new and exciting embrace but I can't help it.

Peter Parker is in the Bio-Chemistry class I'm taking this semester- the class that I'm attempting to study for at the moment. He's one of the smartest people I've ever met and the depth in which he understands such complex theories will always astound me. I could have been studying with Peter and I honestly should have since he is quite the talented student but I can't focus on anything but him when he's around. It's quite the hopeless predicament I've found myself in. I'd like to think he shares the same feelings for me as I do him but every time I think something is about to happen between us he has to leave. It's happened too often for it to be a coincidence.

Today was a perfect example of that very thing happening. Peter and I were walking through the campus courtyard from our shared class, side-by-side, our hands brushing as we admired the cherry blossoms with their maroon-colored leaves. We talked aimlessly for what seemed like hours but were in reality only a few minutes before we reached the the grand fountain located in the middle of the school. We sat there and spoke, getting closer to one another as the minutes passed, until our hands overlapped. He said something that made me laugh and after I had settled our eyes locked and I felt my upper body leaning toward him like we were magnets, destined to connect. I looked at him through my lashes and tilted my head. I needed to feel his lips against mine. I needed us to feel one another. I needed him to need me just as much as I needed him. Just as our lips almost met...his phone went off and he was gone, running away frantically almost like he was awakened from a trance. I had no choice but to watch him leave.

I texted him before I started my slow descent into madness and I've still yet to receive a text back. I feel sick to my stomach. Recounting that memory combined with my sleep deprivation has turned my stomach in a way I hadn't been expecting. Standing, I carefully stretch and drink a bit of water because I am not about to throw up at- I glance over at the clock again- 4 in the morning.

Great. I managed to kill 15 minutes drooling over Peter. Could I get any more paths-

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I still. Was it my door? It couldn't be. My roommates are all sleeping. Walking over to my door, I open it anyway. Greeted with nothing, I turn to retreat into my room and before I get the chance to close my door I hear another sound.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

The tapping transitioned into harder, heavier knocks. They sound frantic. I know it's not my door this time so I turn to my window. My curtain-shrouded, no-fire-escape-having, 5th-story window.

"Dude, there's literally no way that knocking is coming from my window right now."

A gruff, strained, and slightly muffled voice comes from right outside the window. "Please. Please open the window." It's a man. I hesitate briefly but decide that if someone is truly outside my window right now, then it must be someone...interesting and I've always been a curious person. I close my door and saunter towards my window. Dread is filling me once again but I punch it down. I'll just take a small peek and if it's like the Green Goblin or some other nefarious ne'er-do-weller then I'll simply accept my fate and die.

...Yeah. Yeah, that's what my options are. I either die or...some other second option. Hopefully, option number two is better than death. So, which will it be?'

I reach the window and slightly move the curtain to reveal Spider-Man. The Spider-Man. Even though I couldn't see his entire body I saw enough. I saw his bright red and blue suit. I saw one of his gloved hands and I saw a sliver of his other hand clutching his side. His back was against the wall of my building, almost as if he were glued to it. Spider-Man is a good man. He helps the city and he totally fought some giant dude dressed as a rhinoceros last week who threatened to do something dastardly to the town so I think I would be okay if I let him in. Plus, it seems like he's injured and I'm not a monster. I glance at the clock once more- it reads 4:10- before I rip open my window.

As quickly as I open the window, Spider-Man is through it, and closing the window behind him with just as much speed, then he slunks against my wall in a boneless heap. His breaths are heavy and small helpless whines escape his mask-shrouded lips. I tell him that I'll be back and swiftly leave my room, closing the door behind me, and running down the hallway to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit. When I return, Spider-Man is away from the window and slumped over in my desk chair.

"Thanks for letting me in. Also sorry for getting blood on your rug maybe? I don't know actually, I didn't really pay attention." He's rambling. He's distracting himself from the pain, I can tell. He continues, "You really just went right to work, didn't you? No 'Hi' or 'Woah! Spider-Man? What a silly thing that's happening right now,' you just up and got a...first aid kit? Thanks but I'm okay. It's just a flesh wound."

"You're bleeding a lot. One could even use the word profusely. I don't know what kind of weird business you have going on but I can just...I don't know? Stitch you up? My mom was a nurse and she taught me a few basics on how to fix up small wounds." I open the first aid kit as I babble on. The room is beginning to smell like iron and I feel lightheaded. He begrudgingly agrees after I beg him to let me help and I thank him. He lets me gently lift the top of his suit and I get to it. I feel sick and as he hisses in pain as the needle digs into his skin, I can't help but also feel sorry for the pain I'm causing him.

He goes on to comfort me as I finish stitching him. He keeps up a nice banter with me, making jokes and asking me other questions about my hobbies, and soon enough I'm tying up the last stitch and taping a bandage over the wound. I take a deep breath and ask him if he's hurt anywhere else. He says no but I still do a quick check. I cannot be responsible for the demise of New York's favorite web-slinger all because I was reckless. I didn't realize it but I said that part out loud. He started to laugh. His low laugh turned into a loud booming fit of hysterics and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips.

He seems so familiar but I can't pinpoint it. I'm so comfortable with this man that I've just met. I blame it on the fact that he's a well-known vigilante who helps others but the whole time we were talking, I couldn't help but compare him to Peter. Their mannerisms and humor are so similar that it seems like they could be the same people but that's such a far-fetched theory that I swept it from my mind as quickly as it entered.

More minutes passed and I accepted the fact that I'd probably fail this test. Maybe, if I play my cards right, I could convince my professor to let me take it again? Say I developed nasty stomach flu or maybe I'll say my mother is in the hospital. He doesn't know she's dead so no harm no foul. Spider-Man and I discuss everything from star signs to the best delis in the area. Our tones get softer and I feel a wave of calm wash over me for the first time in 3 days. A yawn escapes my lips and I accept defeat. I'll email my professor when I wake up. Hopefully, he's understanding.

Spider-Man also seems to have reached his limits. He stands and stretches his arms over his head, groaning obnoxiously in the same way Peter does. Spider-Man thanks me for my help and for the conversation but mentions how he has something to do soon and should probably leave. I don't want him to leave. I find myself wanting to keep him. A courage that I am unfamiliar with strikes my body and suddenly I'm reaching for his mask. I rest my hands on his cheeks as a silent question. Can I? He nods slowly and suddenly there I am, in the middle of my bedroom at who-knows-when, peeling the bottom part of his mask up, stopping just below his nose. I sway forward and all at once, we're kissing.

It's brief, almost as if it was a thank you. A thank you to him for helping me relax in my state of study-induced panic and maybe a thank you from him for helping him? For showing him kindness? Whatever the thanks was for didn't matter, so long as I felt it. When we parted, he pulled his mask down and walked towards the window, opening it, and preparing to disappear into the night. I spoke up one last time.

" Why did you come to my window? Seems pretty random, no?"

He simply looks over his shoulder and says, "Because I knew you'd open the window." And just like that he's gone and I'm left to ponder.

He knew I'd open the window?

[darklightsworld]

Hiroshima 2024/09/09-13

Day 1-2

Long time no see... again... This was the worst summer ever. As in, officially the hottest ever with three times as many days over 35°C than usual. Somewhere around 55 days... orz Kyoto does know how to welcome me back ^^; So, I was laying low and dying every time I needed to step out of my flat. It turned out that this ground floor (and not wood) apartment does not heat as fast as my previous ones, so I could get through the day without air-con, but barely, so not much productivity until the evening from me, when I turned it on. You might ask why not the other way round? I cannot sleep in the heat (even in winter I turn the heating off for the night), and without sleeping I'm useless, so I use the air-con from evening to morning. This also meant that I was hardly doing anything for sightseeing, some exhibitions here and there, but it was just too hot.

Still, I thought it can't be that I'm not traveling during the holiday (especially since I'm having a holiday the first time in six years...), so I went to Hiroshima for the first time. It was a mistake. I expected lower temperatures in September, but no, around 35°C every day, and it was hellish. No trips in summer ever again. (I'm starting to feel like schools should just power through summer with air-conditioning and save the longer holiday for fall, September-October, when you can actually enjoy it too. Anyway, I took five days for Hiroshima to make it a slow trip, one that I could survive despite the heat - it was difficult anyway.

Day 1

Not living in the countryside is heavenly for transportation. Hiroshima is very close by Shinkansen, so I ticked off some basic sightseeing on the first day already. Like the Atomic Bomb Dome and the park (skipped the museum, I just didn't have the energy in the heat); Shukkeien Garden, a small but gorgeous park; Hiroshima Castle, which is more of an observatory with historical exhibition - like Osaka Castle, but much smaller. It doesn't have air-conditioning though (or too weak), so I had to spend five minutes in front of a high power fan, because I was about to pass out (not exaggerating...). Quite telling that all the people who came out of the castle flocked to the tiny shop selling ice cream - me included ^^; I closed the day in the shopping district afterward.

Day 2

I tried to take it easy, but the morning was hard. I wanted to visit some shrines and the Peace Monument just north of the station on a hill. It turned out to be a hill with tons of shrines, hiking routes, and I only saw a portion of everything there. It was 433 steps uphill in 35°C in a long skirt (pants stick to you too much). The steps were a bit steep in the second half too (not pictured). Every now and then they had some wise things to say (see above) while mentioning how much was left XD At the top there was this monument with a statue - concrete with metal and no shade at the benches anywhere!!! The view was great, but difficult to rest before going back down... I could refresh at the Hiroshima Museum of Art, fortunately. They had a nihonga exhibition, and since I have a new course to teach starting this semester that deals with mostly premodern Japanese visual arts, it was a useful exhibition for me. I closed the day walking around Ujina island, one of the islands near the coast. I love the sea, I love islands, so it was a nice preparation for the main dish of this trip: Miyajima. There were beaches, but it's the wrong side of the tide with every seashell and debris washing out there. It is also sandy, and I don't like sandy beaches. Anyway, the view was nice.

tbc...