#especially lancelot. he loves his dad. and his dad loves him.

[mordredpendragon]

one of my favorite grail quest depictions has probably got to be BBC Legend of King Arthur's with Galahad, Lancelot, and Bors going on grail quest.

like ok think of it like this. i like galahad the most when it centers around the tragedy of his youth, he is 'pure' because he was never afforded the opportunity to sin, to age and grow into a young man. he is nothing more than a lamb to be sacrificed, all the more better when his father lancelot and uncle bors watches.

like a willing isaac and an unwilling abraham.

[bisclavret]

there's a palpable missing link in gwen's characterization that the show has almost hinted at but never explored in a satisfactory way and after hours of riffing with @morganadismay i think it might be summarized with just. ambition? on a show as juvenile in its moral politics as bbc merlin ambition might be seen as a hunger for something and therefore a sinful bad thing so gwen just seemed to kind of seamlessly and elegantly rise to power, but honestly when you attribute a sense of ambition to her, the entire character that is guinevere clicks into place:

she has the most solid moral compass out of everyone in that castle - and she knows it. by her late teens she is already lady morgana's servant (morgana who, at this point, is the progressive and rebellious "adoptive" daughter of the king - perhaps someone to stay close to if you want to see reform?) and she flocks to merlin the second she sees him stand up to the prince. then, as soon as she realizes prince arthur actually listens to what she has to say and that it has an effect on his actions (makes him more progressive, open-minded, and class conscious) she subtly moves her interest from merlin and morgana onto him.

((affection is a propelling part of all these decisions, of course, anyone that's seen how gwen treats people doesn't doubt that it's with genuine love and kindness and care for their well-being. i'm just trying to argue that there's more to her than that, or rather that it's precisely this love that is driving her ambition as well:))

the show is written in such a way that only one person per episode can have a braincell so gwen's cleverness is often cast to the wayside so another character can have a go at using their brain, but we can all agree she is overall the smartest character out of the core four. and when you're as smart and full of love and worry as gwen is, it's intolerable to acutely feel the kingdom's injustices and do nothing about them. people often talk about how gwen is impossible to upset or make angry because she is just that empathetic and understanding and can easily put herself in people's shoes. these are definitely elements of gwen's personality, but i don't care how empathetic you are, when someone kills your dad - a sweet, innocent man - in the name of tyrannical ethnic cleansing of people with magic, you do not, you cannot brush it away. especially if you are as clever and empathetic as we know gwen to be.

and yet that's what she seems to do. in one of the most tone-deaf and frustrating and nonsensical conversations in the entire show, she tells merlin she would not kill uther, the mad tyrant king that just killed her fucking dad and is killing so many people on a daily basis, because then she would be just as bad as him. and i do think she believes this. because that's how she was written. however, there were other ways for her to show her displeasure with the royal family after they killed her literal dad. and she chose none. instead, she stayed close and hardly ever acknowledged her huge, enormous loss (elyan had been away for years and she had no mother to speak of - they killed her only family).

because she's strong? sure. but have you lost a loving parent? strength has nothing to do with what that sort of grief does to you. and i think it is precisely through that grief that gwen makes her choice to stick around and see this relationship with the royal family through as far as it can go. she lets her anger solidify into determination - determination to turn arthur into a better version of his father so these injustices have a chance at stopping once he's king.

she lets go of lancelot. she becomes more feminine, her hair longer and her corsets tighter every time we see her. she tolerates arthur's indecisiveness and brashness and morgana's increasing outbursts of cruelty. she never fully seems to expect to become queen, always quick to offer to let go of arthur for The Greater Good (merlin could take a page from her book), but that's precisely what makes her ambition a good trait. it's steadfast, it's logical, and the end goal isn't power for the sake of power. it's a slow, borderline sisyphean climb up the social ladder until she has stable enough footing to enact the reform that her contemporaries were too undiplomatic to achieve.

TL;DR you cannot get where gwen gets by the end of the show through true love or luck or a series of accidents. it would be a disservice to gwen's character to ignore the hints of calculating ambition in her actions and to pretend the compromises she had to make to get where she ends up were easy. what's amazing about her is that she is the sort of lovely, warm woman whose kindness could get taken advantage of until there is nothing left, but instead she turned her love and wisdom into an asset that helped her, essentially, win the game of thrones. i just wish the writers had let this side of her shine through.

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

1. uh oh, i'm falling in love

A/N: Hello!!! I said I was gonna write and post this story ages ago and I am so sorry for how long this took!! But now I've finally posted it!!! And chapter 2 is almost finished so look out for that one!! I super hope you enjoy this series and that it was worth the wait!!!!

Pairing(s): Lancelot x GN!Tristan's Twin!Reader (No pronouns specified and I never specify whether they're identical or not, that's completely up to you!)

Summary: The King of Liones throws a party and among all the socializing, Lancelot and (Y/N) decide to spend their time breaking a few rules.

Tags: Alcohol Consumption, Underage Drinking, Meliodas, Fluff, Drunkenness (Is that a word??)

Word Count: 3,088

Song Inspiration: Labyrinth By Taylor Swift

Not beta'd, all mistakes are my own.

~*~

[Series Masterlist]

[Author Masterlist]

[Read on AO3]

~*~

You lean back against the cold stone wall behind you, sighing softly. You can feel the chill of it on your back through the thin fabric of your tunic, but you don't really care much. You’re a bit overheated from the partially crowded dining hall you had been in just a few minutes earlier and you really prefer it much more out here than back in there at the moment.

Nearly everyone you know is there. All four apocalypse knights as well as all their friends, Hendy and Dreyfus, mom and dad, Aunt Margaret and Uncle Gil. It’s a celebration of sorts. It’s someone’s birthday, one of the knights that isn’t Tris or Lance, though you’re not sure which one. Not that your father really needs much of a reason to throw a party anyways, but it is a nice sentiment at least.

It's not that you don't enjoy having fun with everyone, you do, but despite knowing every single person in that room, most of them aren't really your friends. Not including family, there’s only one person in there that you’re close to and by the time everyone had finished eating and scattered into different groups and conversations, you were the only person left by yourself, floundering to figure out what to do next. And so, you came outside to get some air.

"What are you doing now?" A voice says from beside you, the person sounding exasperated.

You turn to the right and crane your neck up towards the doorway leading from the dining hall to the balcony, your (Y/E/C) eyes locking with bright red ones. Your face flushes and you look away, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of your neck sheepishly.

"...sitting outside?" You ask uncertainly.

Lancelot sighs before he's sitting down next to you, so close that his shoulder is touching yours. You suppress a shiver at the warmth he radiates and loosen your hold on your knees, letting your legs stretch out in front of you. You mimic his sitting position, letting your leg touch his as well, and try your best not to think of your reason for doing so.

"(Y/N), you can be friends with them, too. Friendship isn't exclusive, you know." He points out for probably the millionth time in your guys' friendship.

"I know that, Lan, but you've never managed to succeed much in making friends in the past besides me and Tris, especially not an entire group of them, and I really don't wanna get in the way of that. You deserve to just have a group of friends without any interruptions." You tell him with confidence, even though you know it doesn't make much sense in the long run.

"And that wouldn't change just because you are a part of that group. You're my friend, too, my best friend, whether you're friends with the rest of them or not." He tells you, and you can feel his eyes on you, but you force yourself to keep looking away from him for just a little longer.

"Well, still. The five of you guys have a very unique bond and I'm not gonna take the chance of getting in the way of that." You say matter-of-factly.

Your best friend snorts. "Is that the same excuse you use with your brother? Cause I know you have this same argument with him just as much as you do with me."

You groan, throwing your head back and letting it hit the wall, causing a dull ache that you ignore. "Can we not talk about this right now, please?" You finally look at him, your eyes pleading for him to switch topics.

His expression softens as he looks at you and he nods. "Fine. Instead, let's drink." He gets a little grin on his face that's similar to an expression you'd seen on his father's face plenty of times, but at the same time, it's somehow still just all Lancelot. He holds up a dark green bottle and two chalices which had been on the other side of him, out of your line of sight.

You were glad for the conversation change and it was your turn to snort. "What did you sneak away this time?" You ask him knowingly.

He sits up a little straighter rather than slouching against the wall and places the chalices between his legs in front of him. "I have absolutely no idea but I snatched it from one of the castle guards. Heard him bragging about how good it was to one of his buddies, so you know, I thought you and I could test it out just to be sure he wasn't lying." He smirks as he opens up the bottle and starts pouring some for each of you.

You feel a slight flutter in your chest at the thought of him specifically wanting to share it with you and you stay quiet as you inspect the liquid in the chalice he hands you. The alcohol is a light pink color, almost translucent, and the first thing you can think of to compare it to, as random as it is, is Isolde's hair. Maybe a little darker, though. It's pretty. And not at all like any alcohol you'd ever seen or heard of before.

"You sure this is safe to drink?" You ask him sceptically as you turn your face towards him, though your eyes stay on your drink. "This isn't gonna turn out to actually be poison or anything, right?"

​​​​​​You bite your lip as you hear him let out that arrogant chuckle of his under his breath. "No, it's not poison, (Y/N). Now, c'mon, are we drinking or what?" He holds his chalice out and looks at you expectantly.

You shake your worry away and look at him with a small grin, tapping your chalice against his with a soft clink before you both take your first sip. Your eyes widen as the taste hits your tongue. It's sweet, with a slightly bitter undertone, and a deep burn as it slips down your throat that isn't unpleasant and definitely wouldn't be expected based on how sweet it is.

"Damn." Lancelot mutters appreciatively against the lip of his cup.

"Agreed." You mumble before taking a deeper gulp and enjoying it, closing your eyes and humming.

You pull your chalice away from your lips, intent on savoring what's left in it since it's your first time trying it, but Lancelot is gradually relaxing more against your side and the feel of his body still touching yours feels so much nicer than it should and you guys have an entire bottle to yourself and suddenly savoring your drink is the last thing on your mind as you shrug your shoulders and chug the rest of it down, sighing softly at the sweetness of it.

You relish in the taste for a few moments longer before grabbing the bottle from its spot in between Lance’s legs and refilling your chalice, though you misjudge and almost spill some of it over the rim of the cup. You giggle softly at yourself. You're quickly starting to realize that whatever this stuff is, it works fast, but you don't really mind.

"Hey, don't spill any of that, I only got one bottle this time and I don't wanna waste any of it." The boy beside you says sternly and at his words, you put every ounce of your focus into not spilling a single drop of alcohol until your chalice is filled and you hold the bottle out in his general direction.

He takes it from you and you take a long drink, sighing softly in content and slouching back against the wall, allowing your head to tip to the side and land on Lancelot's shoulder. He stiffens slightly beside you even as he leans his head against yours and you wonder if it’s the alcohol. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you have a fleeting thought that it’s strange for you to be so physically close with him, but it was gone as quick as it had come.

It seems that Lancelot's mind, however, lingers on it a little longer. "What are you doing?" He asks you softly, his voice almost a whisper and his words slightly slurring already.

"I'm relaxing." You state like it's obvious, noticing the same slur in your own voice. You take another drink as your eyes close before continuing. "Your shoulder is a really comfy pillow. And you're so warm." You find yourself leaning further into him as the cold wind blows against your mostly uncovered arms.

"(Y/N/N), people could walk right over here and see us like this." He says in that same soft tone, some emotion in his voice that you can't quite place in your current state of mind.

"So what?" You slur, finishing off your second drink. "'S not like we're doin' 'nything. Don' worry 'bout it, Lancey." The nickname you hadn't called him since you were nine slipped out without you asking it to, but thankfully, he doesn't acknowledge it.

You hear him sigh and you open your eyes to see him refilling his own drink and then yours, the bottle now empty. As you bring the chalice to your lips once more, you hear him speak so quietly that you're certain his words are only meant for his own ears, not yours.

"What am I going to do with you, huh?" The question is asked with a voice full of affection and you can't help but smile.

"Ya know, gettin' back to our rooms is gonna be a pain in the ass." You point out. "Next time, you gotta try an' find out how strong the stuff is before we drink it."

"Ah, shit." He curses and you snicker.

"Mmmm, maybe we can jus' sleep righ' here." You suggest, seriously considering it.

He lifts his head off of yours and you can't help but pout slightly as he starts shifting beside you. "We can't jus' sleep here, (Y/N/N). We gotta try and get to our actual beds." He reasons.

You groan as you sit up. "Ugh, why do you gotta be right?" You mumble.

He laughs softly as he sits up, leaning over your legs to nestle the empty bottle and now once again empty chalices into the corner of the balcony beside you. Seeing the action suddenly makes you wonder how he had even snuck any of it onto the balcony in the first place, but you're quickly distracted as Lancelot stands up.

He wobbles slightly as he does, reaching a hand out to steady himself with the wall, then he reaches a hand down to you. You grab it and allow him to help you stand, both of you taking a moment to gather your bearings and get used to standing. The world around you is wobbly and keeps going out of focus, but you have no choice but to force your vision to stay as clear as possible, as you will now have to walk quite a bit before you can get off of your feet again.

Simultaneously, you both step through the doorway and into the dining hall slowly and you squint at the brighter lighting, blinking quickly. "Here goes nothin'." Lancelot says quietly, and you both start making your way across the room as fast as your alcohol-infused brains will allow without either of you falling flat on your face. You manage to avoid catching the attention of anyone else in the room until about halfway to the doors leading to the hallway.

"Everything okay, (Y/N)?" Your dad calls from behind you and you freeze. Neither of you dare turn around, knowing that if you do, he'll immediately know what you and the blonde next to you have been doing. From your slow, uncertain steps to the bright flush that you just know is covering your face, your drunkenness would be completely obvious, and you know Lancelot is in a similar state.

You try to force your voice into some semblance of normal, trying to keep from slurring. "Yeah, F-Father, 'im fine." You tell him. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Lancelot nod his head in agreement with your statement.

Your dad gives a small hum as you blink and suddenly he's right beside you. Your eyes widen and you hear Lancelot choke before trying to cover it up with a cough. Your dad's expression is the same as always, just a casual, neutral expression that gives away none of his actual thoughts. However, in one of his hands is a bottle, and in his other is two empty chalices. None of the items ever had any special markings. Those could be any two chalices. That could be any old bottle of alcohol. But knowing your father, you know for a fact that they're the exact items that you and Lance had just left behind on the balcony.

You internally curse as you give your father an uncertain and sheepish grin. Your dad doesn't say anything else or react at all at first, but then he adjusts his hold on the chalices so that he can hold the bottle with the same hand as well, leaving one of his hands free. He suddenly gives his signature grin and his hand pats your back. It would've been a perfectly normal gesture except his hand comes down a little more forcefully than normal, causing you to stumble forward and almost fall on your face.

"Well, that's good! Go rest up, 'kay? We got a big day tomorrow!" He starts walking away but stops to do the same back patting move on Lancelot before he's moved across the room to do something else.

You and Lancelot turn to look at each other with wide eyes before you both turn forward and move as quickly as you can to get out of the room and into the hallway. Once the doors to the dining hall close behind you, you loop your arm with his without much thought to it, but you end up needing the support anyways as the two of you stumble through the halls.

Once you make it to your door, Lancelot starts to pull his arm away from yours, but you're quick to latch onto it again. "You gotta help me get to my bed." You whine softly, not caring much how you sound at this point.

He chuckles softly and the sound fills you up with a slight giddiness. "'Kay, fine." He says, pushing your doors open.

You both stumble into the room as the closing of the doors leave you in the very dim lighting of your bed chambers. You walk further into the room before your foot hits the corner of the long rug across the floor and you trip, falling forward. You yelp as you hit the ground and you hear a curse from beside you. You realize that you were still holding onto Lancelot's arm and had ended up dragging him down with you.

"'M sorry." You mumble quietly.

"'S fine." He reassures me.

You realize that you should probably get up now, but you're starting to get sleepy and your carpet is soft and you feel yourself sagging more into it. You look beside you to see Lancelot flipping over onto his back.

"Floor's comfy." He says softly.

You hum your agreement and after a moment of hesitation, you roll over and snuggle right up to him, your head going onto his shoulder and your arm throwing itself loosely over his chest and waist.

He gasps softly, freezing up, and you think for a moment that maybe you shouldn't have just done that. You're not really sure why you did it in the first place. Ever since laying your head on his shoulder earlier on, you had wondered what it would be like to snuggle all the way into his side, what it would be like to maybe even have his arms completely wrapped around you. You refuse to admit it right in this moment, but you’ve been wondering these types of things for awhile now, despite knowing you probably shouldn't. He’s your childhood best friend, you should see him as a brother, not as a potential romantic connection. But deep down you know that these feelings for him are inevitable considering you’ve had them for years. And so, when you saw him just laying there, you couldn't help yourself. It was like an instinct.

But now you’re wondering if he's been uncomfortable with you being all over him as you recall the way he stiffened earlier and the way he questioned your actions. You push away from him, opening your mouth and getting ready to apologize, when he suddenly beats you to it.

"No, wait-" His voice is suddenly filled with a strange sense of panic as his arm quickly curls around you and pulls you back against him, your head coming to rest on his chest this time, though neither of you voice any complaints. Your arm goes back around his torso as his stays curled around your waist. "Stay, please." He says in a tone of voice that even you very rarely hear from him. It’s pleading, vulnerable. Almost afraid, in a way. Of what, you aren't quite sure. But you aren't going to question him about it, not sure you'd even get an answer if you did.

"Okay." You try your best to pronounce the whole word, feeling it important to do so. "'M here." You say, trying your best to reassure whatever fears are currently nestled into that strange brain of his.

He suddenly turns onto his side and wraps his other arm around you as well, pulling you closer, your face in his chest and his face in your hair. The motion was quick, like he was in a hurry to do it. You relax completely, practically melting into him and the floor under you. You're completely surrounded by him and suddenly you want nothing more than to stay here for the rest of your life.

You nuzzle your face against his shirt as your eyelids start to droop. It's been a long day and the alcohol coursing through your system hasn't added to your energy at all. The last thing you hear before you fall asleep is Lancelot mumbling something that sounds like, "Smells nice." As he burrows his face further into your hair.

~*~

A/N: What do y'all think?? Please let me know!! I should have chapter 2 finished soon, there's going to be both a male!reader version of it and a female!reader version of it. Pronouns still aren't specified, but there's a certain part of the chapter that differs greatly depending on gender, tbh, so if you'd like to be tagged for the next chapter, let me know which version you'd like to be tagged for!! You can also ask to be tagged for both versions if you'd like to be!!! Thank you for reading!!!

~*~

Taglist:

@kalopsiakey

Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!!!

[ren-rambles-often]

I finally watched Code Geass but before I get to my short rant about the show and the ship you can pretty much guess this is about…. Let me just say….

This show peaked at the pseudo incest brocon subplot, I'm taking no arguments!

Fine, fine, that's definitely not entirely true but Rolo's death had me pausing the show and staring at the screen like for what reason?! Let the boy be hopelessly obsessed goddammit 😭😭😭

Now I've gotten that out of my system…

Guess who's the character I hate most?

shocker I know/sarc

I haven't hated one half of my otp ship in a piece of media this much since that one Episode Nagi panel of Reo's heart getting destroyed by Nagi's dumbass (Reo my love love I'd treat you so much better)

Suzaku's case is worse by several degrees because his idiocy and attitude only continued to stoke the flames of my annoyance for the whole two fucking seasons until like the three or two episodes at the end cause oh my fucking God I cried.

(That shit was a wild ride enough nothing is making me watch any spin offs or side stories I care that little)

From the first moment he entered that Lancelot suit and agreed to help the side that attempted to silence him by murder, I clocked his ass and marked him as the dumbest bitch to ever exist but we love a protective loyal dog Top don't we ladies?

"I want to change the system from the inside-" bitch shut up these are colonizers you ain't changing nothing 😭

Even after they they tried pining the murder on him to sentence him to death AGAIN!! BOY WENT BACK.

AND!

He refused Zero?!

HUH?!?

Now I'm not a particularly patriotic person (I hate my county so so much) but if we got neo colonized, No matter what merits I would never be friendly or cooperative with the other side.

Suzaku stopped his country fighting back (valid reason or not I don't remember, he killed his dad and that meant surrender ig) and proceeded to kiss up to brits, fall in love with one of them, and further hinder every attempt of his own people fighting back because 'Violence wrong' but it's okay when he does it because some made up ideal told him being subservient would make a change. And it did….just for him tho, all other 11s? no one cares.

And it didn't even matter because Lulu's methods were always the ones that brought things closer!

I know it's a kind of a commentary on something, I ain't stupid but I was still pissed.

Literally had me gritting my teeth almost every time he stepped on screen, especially when he went pseudo emo after becoming a knight of round or whatever.

Bottom line, he frustrated me as much as he did Lelouch but I still wanted to see them FUCK.

The last couple of episodes where genuinely the best things I've ever watched and a brilliant end to the series. I wouldn't say I grew to enjoy all the characters but God did the plot threads keep me going.

Trust I understood very little about the gate shit and the killing God aspect but when you're having a fun time everything just looks good.

To sum up SuzaLulu…

Giving me friends to enemies to lovers (correct me not I won't hear you) All mixed together with the palpable hatred and vitriol they held toward each other is just too much.

And Lelouch as a bottom is literally my type >.< psycho, pretty, and bad at sports (also having a natural inclination to dominate others)??? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!

His dramatic ass had me gripped and his personality contrasted so beautifully with Suzaku's dumbass that while I did want to be sad about that redhead he might have liked dying….girl bye 👋 make way for the gay 🏳️‍🌈

(Srsly tho, I was sad for a sec, it was a very shocking scene to say the least but Rolo pulled such a Brocon move I was laughing for a solid minute.)

I very much didn't want to be like most other yaoi shippers that watched this shit when they were ten and went for the very obvious but still delicious low hanging fruit yaoi but I see enemies to lovers mixed with tragic yaoi and an undeniably fun story and brain stops functioning lmaooo. Turns out I'm very much like other fujins ;p

Closing thoughts: Umm…If you're going to defend Suzaku in the replies…go for it I'm down to listen but he'll forever be my bitch. I love Lelouch but Light is better, Orange x Lelouch is underratedand C.C. and Kallen should have gotten married.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Contemporaries where dirty talk is especially hot? Both during sex and maybe also over text? Thank you!!

Sierra Simone, Sierra Simone, Sierra Simone. Her books are often set in a contemporary world, but they're not, as a heads up, "light" contemporaries. Personally, I wouldn't really go as far as to call them dark romance (well. Thornchapel, I would, but I also wouldn't recommend it as a contemporary as it has such strong supernatural elements lol) but they do have some elements of (light) mysticism as some of them are retellings of old myth set in a modern setting. I'd check out:

Priest, Sinner, Saint/"The Bell Brothers": These are three standalones (M/F, M/F, and M/M) that always have a bit of a religion kink. And a by a bit, I mean a lot. Priest is the book where a Catholic priest (who is actually very naturally carnal and only became a priest because of some deep guilt issues and religiosity) meets a woman who tells him ALL the shit she's done in confession. It's naturally dirty, and he naturally falls head over heels into an affair. Sinner is about a business whose best friend's little sister is about to become a nun, and she (on the advice of her convent, naturally) asks him to teach her about sex so she can experience what she'll miss before she really commits. Saint is about a guy who became a monk in a period of deep emotional crisis, whose ex-boyfriend (he left with zero notice) ends up on a tour of monasteries with him for an article he's writing. Temptation ensues.

The dirty talk in these is naturally very tinged with priest/nun kink stuff, it's SUPER dirty, and I love it. They're also just really good.

Her Christmas Notch books she does with Julie Murphy are a little tamer, both focus on this Hallmark-esque company where the leads film these Christmas movies and, of course, fall in love. I really, really love A Holly Jolly Ever After, because the hero is a former boybander (with a dad bod!) who fucks like a demon and also owns a chain of pizza shops, and his sex tape leaks, during which he's pictured absolutely RAILING a woman from behind, slapping her ass, and saying "and THAT'S how you toss the dough" which I personally think is some of the greatest dirty talk I've ever read.

New Camelot: One of my favorite trilogies of all time, MMF, "what if King Arthur was President, Guinevere was First Lady, and Lancelot was VP, and what if they were all in love with each other and entangled in an intense affair and IT WAS AMAZING". I reread scenes regularly. I love it so much. The dirty talk is obscene. You get the very cool "sit, stay, bark" dom dirty talk from one hero and the deranged "I'm going through it and you're going to go through it with me" passionate dirty talk from the other. Our heroine ain't half bad at it either.

Lyonesse Trilogy: The prequel novella and the first book are out now; it's a Tristan/Isolde/Mark MMF retelling. Mark is perhaps like... the dirtiest dirty talker Sierra has written. He's soooooo much. Like, if you want the condescending dom dirty talking hero, he's The One. The alternating between the "look how good you take it" stuff and "you're so desperate it's pathetic" shit. Why not both???

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield has a TON of dirty talk, usually in the DD/lg vein. The hero and heroine roleplay dirty stepdad fantasies a lot, and the way they talk to each other is OBSCENE lol. And I love it.

Minx by Sophie Lark has some amazing dirty talk in the pet play realm. The heroine is an escort paid by the hero, and he has her dress up in a catsuit, wear a caller, drink milk out of a bowl while he calls her Minxie and a good girl and shit lol. I was into it. Idk if you'll be into it. Iiiii was into it.

Sara Cate's Salacious Player Club books have good dirty talk. They're sex club books that kind of deconstruct a different kink in each book (pleasure dom/sub in the first one, voyeurism in the second, MMF/bi awakening in the third, and femdom in the fourth... I'd stop after the fourth) and naturally are filled with dirty talk. Eyes On Me (the second book) may especially work for you because the heroine is a cam girl.

Possession by Adriana Anders has a heroine in a PR marriage with her famous husband end up in a kink camp with him after a scandal, and they... explore a lot. Including consensual kidnapping, an MFM threesome, lots of dirty talk... It's a lot.

Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre has a heroine who becomes her billionaire boss's domme, so naturally there is a LOT of femdom dirty talk. We LOVE to see it.

Heated Rivalry & The Long Game by Rachel Reid make up a duology of hockey romances about the same couple (m/m). What I like about this is that you follow the same couple over like, a decade, starting when they're like 18/19, and they build up...? Their dirty talk? Like in the beginning, their encounters are more awkward, and then by the end they're using sex toys and like mild bondage and really KNOW each other and what turns each other on. Including the talk.

[adhd-merlin]

Merlin S1 rewatch: episode 5

here we go! again!!

today we are watching the Lancelot episode. just a few random comments because. I am so very sleepy and I deleted the first draft by accident.

A nice little episode all in all. Nice set up for an incredibly sexy recurring character. Some nice foreshadowing. What's not to like?

• I like how this episode opens. Merlin picking mushrooms, looking so baby. Eyes full of awe and wonder. Looking like... like he's never seen a mushroom in his life, in fact. Anyway, something very cottagecore about this. Fairy vibes.

• Also he's scarfless? For much (most?) of the episode? It looks like early in the series they weren’t so obsessively attached to Merlin’s neckerchief as part of his character design

• I love how Merlin doesn’t even try to use magic against the Griffin. He just falls on his back, shuts his eyes and goes, “Welp, guess I'll die”

• HOW DID MERLIN CARRY LANCELOT BACK TO CAMELOT

• “Ever since I was a child I've dreamed of coming here. It's my life's ambition to join the knights of Camelot.” -> Guy who's spent his whole life dreaming about becoming a knight of Camelot doesn’t know the first thing about the job requirements

• (No but really, the funniest thing about this episode for me is Lancelot’s utter shock at finding out only noblemen can be knights. That's, like. The first thing about the knights of Camelot, it seems like. You’d think he would have done some basic research beforehand. But that's also how I apply to jobs so I won't make fun of him too much)

• Merlin is such a hype man, “LANCELOT THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE YOU!!” This is literally what he says! He’s adorable.

• Merlin's acting like a kid who's found a stray puppy on the side of the road and is trying to convince his dad to keep him. “He’s great, you’ll love him, I promise. He won’t be any trouble I’ll walk him every day”

• MERLIN: “He's saved my life” / ARTHUR: “That's blown it for starters” -> ARTHUR IS FUNNY. I just feel the need to point out that Arthur is funny, actually. Especially when he’s being a cunt.

• MERLIN: “You're not a nobleman by any chance, are you?” / LANCE: “haha, good lord, no” -> someone didn’t read the job description 👀

• The way Gaius pointedly glares at Merlin after telling Lancelot he’s sorry he can’t be a knight… Like, he knows his son might be tempted to do something stupid about it (commit crime)

• I did not remember Lancelot’s tragic Origin Story!

When I was a boy, my village was attacked by raiders from the northern plains. They were slaughtered where they stood, my father, my mother. Everyone. I alone escaped. I vowed that day that never again would I be helpless in the face of tyranny. I made sword craft my life. Every waking hour since that day, I devoted to the art of combat, and when I was ready, I set forth for Camelot.

"Every waking hour since that day, I devoted to the art of combat" -> Yeah that sounds like a sane and healthy way of dealing with the trauma of losing both your parents and your entire village in one go, well done my boy

• Merlin looks SO proud of his little fraud scheme! BE GAY DO CRIME

• Seriously he is such an instigator! He says, “DAMN THE RULES, THE RULES ARE WRONG”! But he can see Lancelot’s obvious reluctance so he’s like, “We're not breaking the rules, we're bending them” HE’S SO SNEAKY I LOVE HIM

• This is such a basic narrative trope (if it even is a trope) but I love first meetings of characters who are going to become famously important to one another. I'm talking, like, Holmes and Dr. Watson. Or yes, Merlin and future King Arthur. There’s just something about it that I find delightful. "They don’t even know!! They have no idea. But I do!" This is about Gwen and Lancelot.

• Such a cute Meet Cute™. I love the way it plays with what we know is going to happen. Even if we don’t exactly know how it's going to happen in the series, Guinevere and Lancelot’s romance is the stuff of legends. I love their obvious and immediate mutual attraction. The slight awkwardness. The foreshadowing! “I'm not a knight yet, my lady” / “And I’m not a lady.” NO YET, BUT YOU WILL BE!! AAAAAH

• I didn’t pay much attention to it the first time I watched this episode but Lancelot speaks in such a formal, lofty way compared to everyone else. He literally sounds like he walked out of a book of chivalric romance. "I faced it myself, Sire. Some days past. I struck it full square. I wondered how it endured"; "Arthur stands in mortal peril", like WHO TALKS LIKE THIS. BE NORMAL. But it never crosses the line into being obnoxious, and I love how his character is defined through his speech as well as by his behaviour. Well done, writers.

• LANCELOT: "Are you two...you know" -> Lancelot wastes no time in checking if Gwen is on the market. GOOD FOR HIM. (I like how Merlin finds the idea of dating Gwen literally laughable. Bit harsh, that).

• “She seems lovely. Guinevere.” / “Oh, yeah. Yeah, she is. And the best seamstress in Camelot, I promise” -> MERLIN THIS MAN DOES NOT CARES ABOUT GWEN'S SKILL AS A SEAMSTRESS OPEN YOUR EYES YOU SILLY CHILD

• (But no, to be fair to him, he did notice)

• Arthur just... just BITCH-SLAPPING Lancelot out of the blue is actually hilarious. He's a comedian and he doesn't even know it.

• Merlin still acts like a bit of a teenager with Gaius in this ep. When Gaius discovers his forgery of the seal of nobility, Merlin tells him, “if you wanna punish me for it, go ahead” and then walks off! I’m sorry, this is a teenager acting out against his dad.

• Merlin does seem to be still testing boundaries with Gaius, but in a way that's an obvious request for reassurance, too – later in the episode he asks him: “Do you even care what happens to me?” (!!) And back in episode 1x02, when Gaius said, "What do I do if you get caught?", Merlin asked: "what would you do?" Insecure teen behaviour. Please Gaius just tell him you love him!! (He does tell him here, thank God).

• The broomstick fight scene. Much has been said about it already. The rituals are, indeed, intricate. Something so homoerotic about Arthur’s attempts to poke Lancelot in the chest with his stick. What I want to know is – did they know? Did they know when they were filming it that it would look like this. Like, was it deliberate

• @sapphickittykatherine it’s not much but there are some hints of Morlance in this ep. During Lancelot’s knighting scene, Morgana looks at him with obvious interest and asks “Who is this man?” And also later at his celebration (I’ll get to it).

The celebration scene! I love it! I’m gonna break it down into parts:

• “You played God, Merlin" -> I like this line. I think Gaius put his finger on an important character trait of Merlin’s here. He always means well, but he can be manipulative and controlling. Not so much here, perhaps, but it does emerge more in later eps.

• Not Arthur looking at Morgana with incestuous intent 💀💀💀

• “Tell me, do you think her...beautiful?” / “Yes, Sire. I do.” -> Another favourite trope of mine – two characters talking to each other but having two entirely different conversations. A bit like that cursed scene in the Disir, and with Arthur just as much oblivious (actually, could someone tell the poor guy what's going on. just once)

• Meanwhile, Morgana’s making sexy eyes at Lancelot while biting into a… cherry? I can’t tell. Some kind of sexually-connoted fruit, that’s for sure. I love how she also looks murderous while doing it. Praying mantis energy.

• Merlin and Gwen’s conversation is so cute. I’ve said it before but it’s giving girlie-and-her-gay-best-friend vibes. Look at them! They are a woman and her gay friend sitting in a bar, exchanging notes about the men around them. Over drinks. The way Merlin encourages Gwen to commit mischief too! “OH YOU ARE NO FUN GWEN. COME ON, JUST PLAY ALONG. WHO WOULD YOU RATHER F—”

• Arthur or Lancelot? I think I know what Merlin’s answer would be. At least at this point in the series. (Hint: it's not Arthur).

• “I think our Sir Lancelot might have eyes for you, Gwen” -> Merlin playing matchmaker already. I love that he’s noticed, and that he’s trying to push these two together because LOVE MUST TRIUMPH. He’s such a romantic.

~ END OF THE CELEBRATION SCENE ~

• Oooh no, Lancelot’s ruse has been discovered, SIR YOU’RE UNDER ARREST

• “You are not worthy of the knighthood bestowed upon you. You never were. And you never will be” -> possibly the worst thing anyone could’ve said to Lancelot, SIR PLEASE STOP YOU’RE BREAKING HIM. CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S ABOUT TO CRY.

• All I can think about when I see gifs of Merlin talking to imprisoned Lancelot is, “it’s okay hun”

• It’s interesting to see S1 Uther so unwilling to accept that the creature they’re trying to defeat might be magic when later in the series he will relish the chance of accusing anything and anyone of being magic. ...Growth?

(The bisexuality of this scene. Off the charts.)

• It seems to me like they were setting up Lancelot to be more of an important character that he ended up being? I mean, he was important, just by virtue of being Lancelot, but he was in a grand total of 6 episodes. But, I love that we can see Arthur’s obvious attachment (for lack of a better word) to him already. A bit like with Gwen and Lancelot, it hints at what’s to come – he is destined to become Arthur’s favourite knight (I know people like to say that it's Leon, but I think it was Lance. And after Lancelot's death it was Mordred, eventually. If you must know.) I love it, foreshadowing. You can feel the future hanging heavy in the air.

• I didn’t remember that Gwen and Lancelot met again and she begged him not to go and I think they should have kissed here

• It’s so funny that while Merlin’s trying to master the spell to defeat the Griffin, Gaius goes, “Don't worry Merlin, we have plenty of time” GAIUS NO YOU LITERALLY HAVE LESS THAN 2 HOURS

• Actually this is a thing Gaius does a lot, telling Merlin he can make it when the chances of success are pretty slim, which on one hand is very sweet, like I get it he's being a supportive dad, but on the other hand it's also... setting Merlin up to be HUGELY DISAPPOINTED if he fails? I don't know, just something I've noticed in other eps.

• The scene of Lancelot killing the Griffin is actually pretty cool? I like the glowing blue spear (how did Merlin think Lancelot wasn’t going to notice) and THE SOUNDTRACK!!

• Merlin's PURE JOY after Lancelot's killed the Griffin is SO adorable, you just feel so happy for him. YES BABY YOU DID IT!!

• I love the parallel “You did it!” scenes with Arthur & Lancelot, Gaius & Merlin, and Arthur & Uther. Very nice, big fan of symmetry

• Gaius’s pride when Merlin comes back victorious is so heartwarming. I’ve said it before but I'll repeat it, Merlin and Gaius’s relationship is possibly my favourite in the show. I think Gaius doesn’t get enough credit for being Merlin’s main source of love and hugs during his Camelot years.

• “The Code bends for no man” / “Then THE CODE IS WRONG!” (!!) -> SAY IT LOUDER MY MAN!! S1 Arthur is so vocal with his father about what he believes is right and wrong, we love to see it

• Lancelot saying he must prove himself worthy of being a knight – of course, he might have been holding the spear that killed the Griffin but he wasn’t the one who actually defeated it, and this will not do. He must now abandon his life-long dream of being a knight and go fight strangers in a cage for money. It’s the only logical next step.

• LANCE I LOVE YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

THE END!!

next episode is... one no one really cares about, but I really really liked it the first time I watched it so. hopefully it will live up to what I remember :3

[singledarkshade]

Unexpected Visitor

Summary - Rory is not expecting who has appeared when UNIT calls the Doctor for some assistance.

Author’s Note - If you haven't listened to The Lone Centurion Big Finish Audios, you should.

This is a little one shot connected to the second volume – enjoy

                        *********************************************

Rory and Amy followed the Doctor into UNIT Headquarters, wondering why they’d been summoned. They were following the soldier Kate had sent to fetch them from where the Doctor had landed the TARDIS, much further away than he intended to.

“I was thinking,” Rory said, “For your birthday, we could invite all the parents for dinner and hope the Doctor doesn’t decide to crash it.”

Amy grimaced, “Do we really want my parents and your dad in the same room all night?”

“It’ll be fine,” Rory told her, “My dad is a lot better since he started travelling. They’ll find something to talk about.”

Amy rolled her eyes, “Since the last time we had awkward silence for three hours, they’d better.”

Rory stepped into her and smiled, “I promise that it will be a nice night.”

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Amy smiled up at her husband, “I will hold you to that, and if it’s a disaster, then you will owe me big.”

Rory grinned and leaned in to kiss her.

“You will release me,” a voice sounded nearby, “I am a Knight of the Round Table, and I order you to unlock this door.”

Rory pulled away from Amy, bemusement on his face.

“What?” Amy asked concerned.

“I know that voice,” Rory breathed as he started to walk to where the Doctor was standing with Kate and a familiar man arguing with the UNIT guard, who Rory never thought he would ever see again.

“Lancelot?” Rory demanded.

The man spun and delight covered his face, “Sir Rory!!!!!”

“Sir Rory?” Amy asked as the Doctor and Kate stared at him.

Lancelot walked towards them, arms outstretched, “I never thought I would see you again, my dear friend. But as always you appear when I need you.”

Rory dodged the other man before demanding, “Lancelot, what are you doing here? How are you here?” He turned the Doctor, “How does he remember me?”

The Doctor shrugged, “I’m not sure. Kate?”

“We have had multiple people appearing from all over history,” she explained, “None of them know what stars are.”

“Sir Rory,” Lancelot interrupted, “Prey tell me where I am. And why you wear such strange garb,” he paused before adding, “Although I must say you are flattered by those clothes.”

“Did he just come on to my husband?” Amy murmured to the Doctor and Kate.

The other two nodded.

“Rory,” Amy said sweetly, “Are you going to introduce us?”

Looking at her with relief, Rory stated, “Lancelot, I would like you to meet my wife, Amy.”

Surprise and disappointment covered the other man’s face as he asked, “Wife?”

“You remember I was talking about the girl I was waiting for,” Rory said softly, “This is her.”

“Well, I…” Lancelot stated before turning to Amy and giving a flourished bow then taking her hand and kissing, “It is a pleasure to meet the woman who captured the heart of my great friend.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Amy smiled amused.

“Have you been told of our many adventures by your husband?” Lancelot asked, “I know how modest Sir Rory can be.”

Amy smirked at Rory before saying, “He hasn’t told me any. And I would love to hear about all the time he spent with you.”

“How about we work out what’s happening first,” Rory interrupted, “Before telling any stories.”

“I believe that is for the best,” Kate moved Lancelot away towards the guards standing there much to Rory’s relief, “Especially as more and more people are turning up.”

Amy frowned in thought as she watched Lancelot leave the room, “How many of them know Rory?”

“Now there’s a thought,” the Doctor mused, “Rory, do you feel like meeting everyone?”

Rory stared at him, “Not really. Meeting Lancelot again was enough.”

“Come on, Rory,” Amy laughed, “He’s not that bad. Even if he was hitting on you.”

“What?”

She laughed, “You have to have seen that. The way he looked at you from the moment he saw you, and the disappointment in his face when he met me.”

“Lancelot is just a bit,” Rory paused and finally settled on, “Overdramatic.”

“Overdramatic or not,” Amy laughed, “He was checking out your ass in those jeans, which trust me does look amazing.”

“Thank you?” Rory stared at her.

Amy kissed him, “You are adorable. And I love you, but you need to talk to your friend and find out what happened.”

“Trust me Lancelot barely knew what was happening in his own time,” Rory told her with a roll of his eyes, “He has no idea what’s going on in this one.”

As Rory started towards the office to talk to their visitors, Amy chuckled to herself, this was going to be fun.

[hellsvestibule]

I think characterizing Lancelot as a shameless womanizer seeking out married women on purpose is broke af to my understanding of him. but I m not a hardliner oh h he’s too loyal for that either bc i do find the idea funny that it’s not actually the strict principle he pretends it is so long as you hack into whatever brain chemistry it is that compels him to love in the most batshit way imaginable. And bc I’m an asshole who don’t really like the idea of “one fated true love” as a concept especially in a series like fate where this is like, never the point, that romantic love will absolve whatever’s wrong w you, which is kind of the key issue that makes him and guinevere compelling but also unhealthy. They are so toxic and codependent they struggle to even breathe without each other. Fucking literally. They try to suffocate themselves over it. And I think bc of that I have no problem w her not being here so for once he doesn’t orient his entire being around her he has to learn to become a functional person without her, he and guinevere deserve to rebel against the narrative a bit bc he simply wasn’t allowed before, he often acts like the narrative is holding a gun to his head forcing him to love her and took for granted he couldn’t have anything other than her. So the hardline I guess “shippers” of them to the point where they can’t chill on seeing thempaired w anyone else or don’t unders why he needs to grow as a person without her first also annoy me. But just wish people would acknowledge he’s not the guy a lot of people assume he is. He gets attention from women really easily bc he’s respectful of them to a fault but at least in his source material I’ve read was only really interested in guinevere. but he loves having random bromance with random old guys in the midst of whatever shitshow he’s involved in so like sure maybe he’d fuck a woman other than the queen if he could also like steal your dad or have old man yaoi about it bc it feels like romance is so much more about getting caught up in a Situation for him more than it is about merely presenting him with a pretty woman. and that’s what I actually like about him. Like. Read any story involving him especially knight of the cart. He’s so fucking pretentious about how disinterested he is in romancing hot women who aren’t Her (longingly gazes off into the vast expanse of space) he likes women platonically but he is actually really avoidant of them in an interpersonal level while he’s Allowed to be affectionate with men and so he is less restrained in his affections towards them to the point where the modern perspective is often inclined to be like yeah sorry tails this looks gay to the audience (which I like to fully lean into. He’s a bi icon tbh) maybe some of the later iterations of him do away with him being kind of prudish about women I admit I have not read every single iteration of Arthurian mythos but I do remember reading urobuchi saying he doesn’t take that perspective of him so it’s still annoying to me how much it’s the Go To gag while fgo also simultaneously mostly portrays him correct to my understanding of him as just. A guy who is always in a Situation

[wouldadepressedpersonmakethis]

M/F 12/15

JUDE LAW (reserved by Kate AA) conqueror; king/emperor -- has recently made a conquest of his largest and most profitable kingdom yet && has decided that this shall be the center of his new empire; definitely a lot of unrest in the kingdom here and they would all much rather see their rightful queen KATIE MCGRATH restored to the throne; JUDE LAW is pressuring her to agree to marry him and she and her fam are to remain under house arrest until she complies; he already has several other wives (he's married once for love, once for lust, once for lineage and he hopes to marry KATIE for her lands); his line of succession is currently unclear and even he isn't sure who his heir should be tbh; can be heartless and cruel but there's more to him than that -- was once a much softer man. he doesn't believe in this place's ~old religion~ and hopes to snuff out an already dying flame.

LEA SEYDOUX - JUDE LAW's eldest and only child from his deceased first wife. his favorite -- she can literally do no wrong. lea's mother loved JUDE dearly but once he started to take other wives, she became more and more a shell of her former shelf until she eventually died (LEA believes of a broken heart). She believes her dad feels very guilty about what happened to her mom and tries to shower her with love and affection because of this. LEA has a lot of complicated feels re: her dad and honestly her entire family. Doesn't especially want to be queen, but feels she would make a better one than her brothers but despises the stupid games her step-mothers are playing to try to win their sons the crown. Super smart!!!!!! Can be sarcastic af; lots of men have offered her her hand, but her dad doesn't think any of them are good enough.

EVA GREEN - JUDE LAW's second wife. some say she is an enchantress to have drawn JUDE LAW into her bed when he was so in love with his first wife, but at the time, his wife had given him no children and he decided to bring back the laws of old, which would allow him to marry as many women as he liked. EVA promised him a son -- which she did eventually give him -- but not before he grew impatient and married again. EVA's son is not his oldest son, but he is the eldest son of his second wife (as his first one gave him none) and she believes that this is enough for him to have a claim as his father's heir. hates REBECCA FERGUSON with a fiery burning passion!!! Not a fan of his other kids either and it is said that she once tried to have BRADLEY JAMES and JULIAN MORRIS killed. did she or didn't she? that's one secret she will never tell xoxo

TIMOTHEE CHALAMET (reserved by lizzy) - EVA & JUDE'S son; booksmart; loves playing chess; can be manipulative to get what he wants; believes he's the rightful heir thanks to his mom; can be competitive with his half-brothers but isn't as hot headed as MAX IRONS and enjoys riling him up; no match for BRADLEY JAMES physically but he knows he can outsmart him; has a sarcastic sense of humor; fiercely loyal to those he loves; shameless flirt; spoiled af; currently into EMILY CAREY

REBECCA FERGUSON - JUDE'S third wife and the first to give him a son; actually loves JUDE which made her incredibly jealous of his first wife .... but also jealous of his second, too, since it was clear he's always been attracted to EVA. Very proud that she was the first wife to give him a son and the only one to give him more than one child. Fiercely protective of her kids and their birthright; doesn't understand why it's even a conversation -- the first son of the king should be his heir????? BRADLEY JAMES is her pride; SUKI WATERHOUSE is her joy; and JULIAN MORRIS is her comfort

BRADLEY JAMES (OR POSSIBLY MAX IRONS???) (reserved by Kate AA)- has some Lancelot vibes tbh (or maybe it's just because he's making me think of this) No one can beat him with a sword (or so he at least likes to think); thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread; flirts with all the girls but no one is worthy of his being his wife (so far); smarter than TIMOTHEE gives him credit for but dumber than he thinks he is;

JULIAN MORRIS? - the quiet sibling; honestly Evie Beaumont vibes??? lives in the library; tries to keep the peace amongst his entire weird family; the son JUDE LAW forgets about (him?); keeps his siblings out of trouble/keeps his mom sane; honestly the kid who is probably most suited to rule is the one no one remembers! has a thing for FREYA MAVOR perhaps???

SUKI WATERHOUSE (reserved by lizzy)- the baby and it shows! rolls her eyes whenever anyone tries to bring up who is going to rule like it's no big deal (it doesn't concern her so????) lively af!!! charming!!! smiles like she doesn't have a care in the world b/c she doesn't!!! happy little fool

CHARLIE HUNNAM (reserved by lizzy) - JUDE LAW's bro; in love with KATIE MCGRATH; torn between serving his bro and his feelings for her

JODIE COMER (reserved by lizzy) - sister to JUDE LAW/CHARLIE HUNNAM; engaged to LUKE EVANS; was once kidnapped by the resistance but pretended to be a serving girl instead of the king's sister to escape && pretended to be on their side and now she's a double agent working for her bro against them but it's complicated because she's developed ~feelings

KATIE MCGRATH (reserved by Kate AA) - rightful queen to a land that has been conquered by JUDE LAW. currently under house arrest until she agrees to marry the new king. Obviously does not want to marry him -- nor does she want to solidify the fact that he's taken over her home, but she also knows that perhaps more is at stake here and as long as her sister remains under house arrest, the sooner they will open the door for both gods and monsters to descend upon the earth

ASTRID BEGRES-FRISBY - KATIES half sister who the people also call a witch thanks to her mum but she definitely is clairvoyant and can see things people cannot. Possibly one of the few who still practice the ~old religion and is the last mine of defense between this world and the demons of the next or something idk yet exactly what’s happening here but KATIE is one of the few people who know about what’s going on with her

LUKE EVANS (reserved by Kate AA) super ambitious!!!! charming af; schemer!!! big bro of eva green and has enjoyed the wealth that being the bro-in-law of the king has gotten him but tbh he's not completely satisfied and wants more!! ambitious!!!!!! supporter of his nephew as the next king and hopes to essentially be his ~hand; engaged to marry someone???

ORLANDO BLOOM - LUKE EVAN's & EVA GREEN's bro; as a second son he needed an occupation so he's now the captain of JUDE LAW's kingsguard --- very genuine!! has fallen in love with EMILIE DE RAVIN (or possibly LEA SEYDOUX?) but has nothing to offer her :*(

SEAN BEAN?? - JUDE LAW's uncle & hand of the king. responsible for a lot of the more sane choices JUDE makes and helps keeping him from going too far off the rails; has seen his decent into ~madness~ and hopes to help pull him out of it; knows he is driven both by ambition but also feels responsible for the death of his first wife

PEDRO PASCAL - JUDE’s mage who supposedly has magic but it’s just science. From a country JUDE conquered but has a “can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” mentality and has been a loyal subject but also only looks out for #1 and would sell Jude to the devil for 1 corn chip; suspects what ASTRID really is not because he has the sight but because his mom did and he knows what to look for. Unsure how he’s going to use this information yet

IAIN GLEN - former love of REBECCA FERGUSON; still in love with her; potential real dad of one of her kids just to complicate things further

—————

EMILIE DE RAVIN - grew up wealthy but her fam lost it all when her dad died in the war!! desperately wants a family of her own but also wants to marry well so she can provide for her sisters and they can stop relying on their evil stepmother!! Knows ADAM DRIVER has a huge thing for her and wants to marry. Not ideal but they would keep the estate and be provided for! Would ideally like to marry for love but doesn’t think that is in the cards. Loves books and storytelling and enchants her sisters with her tales.

IMOGEN POOTS (reserved by lizzy) - headstrong and wild. hair is always out of place; speaks her mind; wishes she was a boy tbh; despises her stepmother with the white hot intensity of a thousand burning suns; expert at archery and horse riding but can’t act like a proper lady to save her life

FREYA MAVOR — the quiet and shy one! the one who is taken most advantage of by their stepmother as she’s the sweetest and honestly just wants everyone to get along; deathly afraid of social situations and her stepmother has long since given up on marrying her off and instead wants to keep her as her servant for life; strong Cinderella vibes here; loves animals and has animal friends probs; also loves music and sings like an Angel but you probably aren’t lucky enough to hear it

EMILY CAREY (reserved by Kate AA) the youngest and most spoiled for sure; wants to marry for money and have lots of things and take care of her sisters; loves balls and fancy dresses; lots of energy and spirit; definitely naive and has been sheltered by her sisters; loves to paint and draw; helps IMOGEN play pranks on their stepmom and stepsister but never faces the consequences because IMOGEN always takes the blame for them both; flirting shamelessly with TIMOTHEE CHALAMET and likes him but certainly likes the idea that she could be queen 1 day (or at least the sister-in-law to one)

ANJELICA HUSTON (reserved by Kate AA) - evil stepmother to the above girls; mom to ADAM DRIVER; hates EMILIE with a passion b/c it is clear her son intends to marry her when he could do soooo much better; hates IMOGEN because she's impossible and a gd embarrassment; hates EMILY because she just might snag a prince; honestly FREYA is her only stepdaughter who is tolerable and she plays mind games with her to get her to want to stay and basically be her personal servant forever; manipulative af

ADAM DRIVER (reserved by Lizzy) thinks he's the greatest thing ever; his mom says he can do no wrong ever in his life and he believes her; demanding; angry when he doesn't get what he wants; thinks EMILIE DE RAVIN is the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he must have her even if she is his step-sister

NATALIE DORMER? - ANJELICA'S daughter

—————

CHRIS HEMSWORTH - ~member of the resistance~ that is trying to unite the men to carry out an assassination attempt on the king? possibly his heirs as well but possibly they believe there will be enough unrest and chaos re: who is going to take over that they will no longer be united and then weak enough for the locals to kick them out of their kingdom??? unwittingly has brought a spy into the group's mist b/c he's in love with her and has no idea she's working for the enemy??

SAM CLAFLIN -- Chris Hemsworth bro/ ~resistance member~

FLORENCE PUGH -- Chris Hemsworth's sister/~resistance member

HARRY LLOYD - stableboy working @ the castle who is in love with ASTRID BERGES-FRISBY; member of the ~resistance~

ALICIA VIKANDER - ~resistance member~

---------- later tiers -------------

DARIUS/MATT SMITH (reserved by lizzy) (god of death/ruler of the underworld???) comes to wreck havoc on the world; create chaos; drag a few souls back with him to hell but also here to party it up on earth as long as he's able to

XERCES/HENRY CAVILL (reserved by Kate AA) (matt's bro; god of winter??????) tired af; always chasing after his bro; crusty exterior

[andiwriteordie]

hello Andi. I am once again invading your inbox to talk about the possibilities of a Merlin AU bc I know you see the vision and it actually fits so perfectly??

Mike as Arthur

Will as Merlin

El as Gwen

Max as Morgana

Lucas as Lancelot

Dustin as Gwaine

Like?? With adjustments to the plot + character arcs and how events play out (like for example Lucas would fall in love w Max still not El but also elmax as morgwen possibilities), it fits them all so WELL especially Mike and Will as Arthur and Merlin. Even their families fit: Will growing up with a single mom in poverty who loves him, Mike growing up in wealth with a shitty asf dad that makes horrible decisions but Mike would be a much better leader than him-

anyway. Thoughts? I’m considering making a 5-10 chapter fic with 1-2 chapters per Merlin season after I finish the show but idk anyways I’m getting off track I mostly just wanted to hear ur thoughts on the concept bc I know you’re a merthur enthusiast and u have a Merlin AU wip rn 😎🫶

okay okay okay hi elli. i have thoughts on this, and it's been a while since i've thought about those thoughts but here i am today. to share with you my thoughts. some of them get a little funky weird controversial, so bear with me. (also. i say read all of this with caution if you're still watching merlin, bc i'm gonna try to not spoil too much of it, but i will be hitting on major character arcs that build throughout the show!)

the easy ones. will's merlin. mike's arthur. duh. easy peasy. all the parallels you just mentioned? perfect. literally byler as merthur works so well, and i just know modern byler would've loved this show. like mike starts watching it and gets so excited??? anyways.

i also think lucas is actually more of a mix of lancelot/gwaine, and dustin would be leon (though depending on where you are in the series, you might not have gotten to the point where leon is a more central character?). anyways, i think lucas is a mix of lancelot/gwaine because he has the same moral righteous and kindness of lancelot, but is definitely more brash like gwaine (love my boy planning to storm fucking hnl by himself lol). with dustin, leon's a very level-headed character, also arthur's second in command for later seasons with the knights, and so i think it fits with how mike and dustin are both the planners and dustin sorta steps up to help lead in mike's absence in s4!

now for the girls. so, i've gone back and forth on this, because for obvious reasons, the el/gwen parallel works because of the merlin/arthur/gwen and will/mike/el love triangle. like that's the most obvious interpretation of this. but then, as i was thinking about it (and honestly i was wandering down this rabbit hole while writing my merlin byler fic lmao), i was trying to think about where el having powers and just willel in general would fit into all of this?

so i started thinking about el/morgana, which then would um. make max/gwen. (i'll come back to that in a second, let me explain el/morgana first.) i'm just thinking about how morgana is one of the most powerful sorcerers we see in the show and how morgana and merlin are foils to each other. i think there's an episode that calls morgana the darkness to merlin's light. so like yes, merlin and arthur are two sides of the same coin and have their shared destiny, but likewise, morgana has always been that third part of their destiny (which is so fun once you explore the ancient religions and stuff this show loosely pulls inspiration from, because three is kind of a big number) in that she is connected to merlin.

so you think about willelmike, right? and obviously, el is our hero and protagonist of the show, so she's not gonna end up turning bad unlike morgana. but in the context of thinking about a merlin x st crossover, how interesting would it be if el did turn evil? because in st, we see this is a back and forth conversation el has with herself - is she the monster? is she good? or is she bad?

and i think about an el who actually did go with henry when prompted to in the lab. an el whose moral code would be shaped and manipulated by someone with an ulterior motive, someone who recognizes her power. because that, in my opinion, is what happened to morgana with morgause. morgana was terrified and alone because she had this secret which could get her killed, and morgause was the first to show that her magic could be good. so she trusted morgause and went spiraling down a path that led her to destruction because of how morgause manipulated her into thinking. i don't think morgana was ever inherently evil. i think the fear and manipulation motivated her and morphed into anger and a desire for revenge, because this poor woman was alone for so much of her story.

so, when i'm imagining a merlin x st au, i am imagining henry would take that morgause role. if we're following merlin canon, will and el never learn about each other's magic and spend their character arcs alone and motivated by fear, when they really could've found solace and love and acceptance in each other. if we're not following merlin canon, will decides not to be an idiot? and he tells el about his magic? and they become magic twins together, and look, el grew up as mike's sister essentially, so then will's basically her brother in law.

(also. the platonic elmike sibling vibes crack me up. like all the canon st jokes about how they're so family coded? that right there. merlin vibes. they're family. no dating your sister.)

anyways, so that then defaults us to having max as gwen, which i think would change her character a little bit. maybe instead of a romance between max and mike, it's more that sort of friendship that gwen and arthur do develop, because max challenges mike to be better and brings out the good parts of him - the parts that care about justice and about his people and about doing the right thing. and so mike, kind of feeling forced into having a queen because ya know. laws of the land and stuff, very tentatively asks max if she would ever consider stepping into that role because he believes she would be an excellent leader. and so that's when the engagement happens and stuff and it's for show for the people, and only like. will and max and mike and dustin know that obviously. and then through whatever circumstances, the engagement ends up called off, and unlike in merlin canon, it doesn't end up happening again, and max just becomes an advisor to mike, who remains single as a king until. ya know. magic is legalized and he marries will (not following canon lol. or he dies. and i cry again.

okay that's it! the end! :)

(does this make hopper gaius)

[writer-and-artist27]

hi vy! i'm a huge fan of passing days, especially your salem chapters! i was hoping you could clear something up about the latest chapter with mash and lancelot. i'm a huge fan of the fate round table (especially gawain! so happy he cameod in this!), and i'm really curious what you were using to base your dynamic between mash and lancelot on? i always thought they were on pretty good speaking terms post-camelot (their little moment in servafest especially was pretty fun imo, i loved that event), but i wasn't aware there was a time where she was too nervous to talk to him about galahad? was there an interlude i missed? i dont have a lot of servants so its possible i missed something big. thanks!

('へ') Well. Hello to you too, Anon. (This was a much better ask to start the morning on.)

Now then. What I used to base the dynamic on Mash and Lancelot on? A mix of the FGO events and real life.

-----------------------------

For FGO? It started with the recent Halloween Castle Csejite Trilogy Recap event back in October, where it had me play through Halloweens 1 and 2 for the first time, and seeing how Mash was calling out Lancelot back then bothered me a little. Saber Lancelot even canonically disguised himself as his Berserker self so that Mash wouldn't notice him, and she still kept back-talking him. Add in how Summer 3 and 4 had her be suspicious of him, and even when Lostbelt 6 had a small throwaway conversation between them when fighting the berserk Barghest (something about Mash wanting him to focus on the fight), it still bothered me. So I wanted to do something about that.

Especially when there has been no on-screen moment that showed Mash talking to him about Galahad outside of the second Camelot movie, and the films themselves had their flaws in cutting out things.

Real life, though... I took from three specific relationships for Mash and Lancelot.

Me and my dad, my big brother and my dad, and my dad's own relationships with both my maternal grandfather and paternal grandfather - his dad.

Mash's entire dialogue, Lancelot's own grief, and everything else in the chapter is ripped from conversations I had with my dad; the reactions from how my big brother had to smooth tension out with my dad over his weight (let it be said fatphobia was rampant in my house and it didn't help the self-esteem of me or my brother when growing up); and how my dad actually admitted to me he saw my maternal grandfather being more of a father than my paternal grandfather ever was because of my paternal having been... troubled in life.

And I wouldn't know how my paternal grandfather would have reacted because he died a year before I was born - a few days after my brother was born, in fact. All I know of my paternal grandfather was how he was the leader of a very dysfunctional family, who actively yelled at my father to an extent, even smoking and gambling funds away when the house was already poor. My paternal grandfather apparently didn't even see my dad off when he left home at 18 to try to get away from being drafted into the Vietnamese military - only my paternal grandmother did.

Lancelot and Mash had it easy in comparison. Because at least I could give them a happy ending. With me, my dad, and my big brother? We're still a work in progress for the "happy end" part. But there's no yelling anymore at least, and we've had lots of talks that led to apologies and some more understanding. So that's something.

[andtherestishistory13]

I know you're also an Arthurian legends girlie as well, do you have any opinions on GVF as Arthurian knights or legends?

I have lots of thoughts on this Jas! Lots and lots of thoughts! So, here’s who I associate each knight with, because if I got too deep, we’d just be here all night, but I’d LOVE to talk about it more in depth!

So, for some reason, I associate Josh with Sir Galahad, he’s one of my favorite knights and I absolutely love him so so much! I think because he’s described as the “perfect knight” as in he’s kind, chivalrous, gentle, clever, and Josh is always described as “Sweet Josh” I see them together, in my mind anyway. But also, I think he’d LOVE Sir Tristan (I love Tristan so much!)

Jake: I automatically either see him as a Kay (?) or a Gawain. I love Gawain so much! He’s super loyal, I love love love his little plot line (I don’t wanna call it a plot line, but what else do you call it?) when he (SPOILERS) forgave him on his death bed and I just love him! But I also associate him with Kay, I guess for his bluntness (?) maybe honesty is better, because with Sir Kay, I like him especially in the early stuff where he’s a good guy and knight, but I appreciate his bluntness, if that makes sense

Danny: I associate Danny with either Tristan or Percival, because both stories are so interesting to me! I mean, it’s romantic, it’s adventurous it’s wonderful! I love that Percival’s “pure heart” is what allows him to keep/find the Grail and I’ve always loved Tristan (since I saw the 2004 King Arthur movie I’ve been obsessed!). And it just feels very Danny. Tristan and Iseult (I don’t know if this is the right spelling) was my favorite King Arthur myth and idk it feels Danny!

Sammy; I’ve thought long and hard and Sam is Lancelot. Lancelot is controversial to me, because fun fact, I used to hate Lancelot! He was my least favorite knight and my Dad’s second favorite (dad loves Kay). But Lancelot is extremely loyal, and he’s obviously super passionate. There’s a cool song/poem called Trial of Lancelot and I feel like it captures all the main knights really really well, specifically Lancelot, and it sorta changed my view points on him. I guess because both are described as chivalrous and I think his love for Queen Guinevere, but also his love for Arthur makes him really compelling and complex. I think it’s interesting all together.

Sorry this is so long, y’all accidentally got me on a tangent! 🫶

[betterto-die-thanto-crawl]

HAVE A QUIZ!!!!

WHAT FAIRYTALE ARCHETYPE ARE YOUUUUU?!?!

(hey guys look i did a hyperlink 🤣)

Tagged By: Stolen from: @deafandstoned MWAHAHAHAHA

Tagging: @w-o-r-d-s--f-a-i-l (esp. for James i'm so curious 😭), @sparksofdaylight , @orchestrahearts , @mythunderlegion , @heirtothetrib , @brooklynnewsies (YO FOR DAVEY ESPECIALLY), @grazziella and @ycllowhaired , @oughtabeinpxctures (Crutchie DEMANDS TO KNOW ABOUT SPOOKY DAD... and Spooky Sib, too!), @birdhouse-in-thesoul (for any of your various children!!!), @armandlucienduval... and anybody else who wants to!

(I did this for most of my muses, so I am grouping them together by the answer they got!)

Crutchie Morris, Jack Kelly, Prince Zuko, Anthony Hope

Your Result:

the long-suffering knight

“Lancelot is: […] Probably sadistic or he would not have taken such frightful care to be gentle. […] 6. Ferociously punitive to his own body. He denies it and slave-drives it. 7. Devoted to ‘honour,’ which he regards as keeping promises and ‘having a Word.’ He tries to be consistent. 8. Curiously tolerant of other people who do not follow his own standards. He was nor shocked by the lady who was naked as a needle. 9. Not without a sense of humour. It was a good joke dressing up as Kay. And he often says amusing things. 10. Fond of being alone. 11. Humble about his athleticism: not false modesty. 12. Self-critical. Aware of some big lack in himself. What was it? 13. Subject to pity, cf. no. 3. 14. Emotional. He is the only person Mallory mentions as crying from relief. 15. Highly strung: subject to nervous breakdowns. 16. Yet practical. He ends by dealing with the Guinevere situation pretty well. He is a good man to have with you in a tight corner. […]18. Human. He firmly believes that for him, it is a choice between God and Guinevere, and he takes Guinevere. He says: This is wrong and against my will, but I can’t help it. […] People he was like: 1. Lawrence of Arabia, 2. A nice captain of the cricket, 3. Parnell, 4. Sir W Raleigh, 5. Hamlet, 6. Me, 7. Prince Rufant, 8. Montros, 9. Tony Ireland or Von Simm […] or whatever, 10. Any mad man, 11. Adam.” — TH White. Torn between guilt and devotion, he represents the late medieval anxiety of whether equal devotion to one's lady and one's liege is possible. He loves both, so he must lose both. He can only end the story happy if he either refuses to indulge his temptation or leaves this world – either for heaven or the fairy realm.

Peter Darling Pan

Your Result:

the monstrous bride

“Just as the ultimate goal of Arthurian quest finally defines itself as the Holy Grail, the object that can never be assimilated into the real world, so the ultimate woman of romance is a fairy mistress, or fairy queen.” — Helen Cooper The monstrous bride is not necessarily monstrous, but she is, by definition, inhuman, which is part of her je ne sais quoi. Her happiness often depends on whether her groom knows her inhuman. If he does not, he is bound to find out before the story concludes, at which point he will either be repulsed by his wife's deceit and leave her, or attempt to make the relationship work, but fail, because he is operating under a misinterpretation of her nature. If he is aware of her inhuman identity, it will often be one of the factors leading to his attraction to her, and he will be rewarded with her love – but often at the cost of abandoning his previous life completely.

Belle

Your Result:

the wicked witch

“All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany’s Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine” – Terry Pratchett. The witch needn't be wicked, though she can be. Cannibalism is never out of the question. She lives in a gingerbread house, or one standing on a chicken foot. She meddles only if asked, and the unwise often ask her. The very wise do as well. Those in-between prefer to give her distance, something she appreciates. She appreciates her solitude almost as much as she appreciates her cat.

Romeo Montague, Connor Murphy, Oscar Delancey (1992sies!), Orpheus

Your Result:

the fool

The fool is a distorted reflection of the witch – he is as intelligent as her, but while she chooses seclusion, he functions close to power. Some love him, some despise him, all see him as harmless – perhaps wrongly. He hears a lot. Perhaps more than any other character, he knows he is in a story.

Enjolras, Johnathan Harker

Your Result:

the boy king

The boy king has a huge burden placed on his shoulders. With a dead father who perished in battle or was poisoned, a shrewd and scheming mother, an abundance of homicidal relations, and a nation to rule, he can either become a puppet or the most formidable ruler a nation has seen.

[1shadowhole]

Huhhhhhhh!!

I'm gonna go for full rewrite but keeping the main personality from the first two seasons because I love her too much.

I'd focus more on her duty as maidservant, so that once Morgana goes bye-bye there will be more focus on how the change affects her.

Her mum is alive because there needs to be at least ONE CHARACTER WITH BOTH PARENTS ALIVE AND PRESENT. Her mum should be directly connected to castle life which explains how Gwen got such an important job.

I'd love for her mother to be somewhat connected to Merlin's own parents. Maybe a younger Hunith or Balinor. This connection with magic is somehow transmitted to her daughter who will learn from it and hopefully have more to say about the issue than she did in the entire series.

This also makes her more distrustful of the Royals and more willing to aid outlaws (more than she is in the show) so like. Lancelot. I can see her keeping in contact with the man willing to fight for what he believes going against THE MAN. (This also applies to Gwaine)

As I said there needs to be more of an impact on her character after Morgana's betreyal. I always believed that her character should have been developed much more, especially when compared to the other main 3.

I want the death of many of the people she knows and cares for in front of her by the hand of her closest friend to leave a bigger impact.

She becomes more calloused, distrustful and wary around both magic and Nobles. Which puts her in a weird situation.

I can see her riding out to find her brother, maybe meeting Lance again along the way. Along with them, all the rest of the band of Misfits. So that the round table is actually, in a way, created by her.

And of course. I wouldn't make her friendship with Merlin fall apart in S5 for no reason whatsoever. If we think that by then she would have lost her dad, her best friend, her husband (YEAH I MADE HER MARRY LANCE SUE ME GWENCELOT FTW) her brother and maybe even her mother, she would cling to the last connection she has. Much like Arthur and Merlin.

She would have found out about his magic earlier and helped him.

I believe this gives her so much more importance to the story than what the writers did by relegating her as the love interest status.

If you can rewrite Gwen, what would her arc be?

[georgiapeach30513]

This Beautiful Family

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Summary:  Harlan loves his family

Pairings:  Ransom X Harlan

Rating:  🥺🥺🥺🥺

Warnings:  mentions of jumping on the bed, soft!Ransom, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  1.8K

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Desperate Love Masterlist

Harlan leans over to give Story a kiss to her head, pulling the book out of the sleeping child’s hand when he looks over at his grandson.  Ransom gives a soft kiss to your sleeping self, baby Lucy face down on his chest with her butt in the air.  Iris leans her body on the other side of Ransom.  With Blade sprawled across yours and Ransom’s lap, and even in your sleep your fingers comb through Aster’s hair.  

Harlan had many doubts that he would ever see Ransom like this.  The boy, now a man, had seen his fair share of ups and downs, especially with you.  The two of you had fought not to be together, and now you were proving that you were meant to be.  It was serene at the estate.  The annual house Christmas decorating day had ended with Harlan’s reading of A Christmas Carol, and Story’s sleepy children’s version of The Nutcracker.  And now the old man looks at the other as if Ransom was his own son.  

His children that he desperately fought for sprawled around on the two of you, except the tiny nine-year-old in Harlan’s lap.  Ransom’s deep blue eyes dart around to each family member as he exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “They’re uncomfortable,” he mumbles, leaning over to rest his head on you.

He couldn’t move with Blade’s legs on his lap, and you and Iris on his shoulders, and his fifth on his chest.  “Would you trade it?” Harlan’s deep voice whispers over to Ransom, and he shakes his head no.

“Not for all the money in the world,” Lucy’s mouth opens in a wide yawn, and she snuggles in tighter to Ransom.  A hand going up to his beardless face that she wasn’t all too fond of.  Those chubby little hands rubbing on his cheek.

“I don’t think I tell you enough, but I’m proud of you, son.”

“I didn’t do this,” he twists his head to give you a quick peck.  “I couldn’t have done any of it.”

“You found a woman worth fighting for.  Became a better man to prove to her you were worthy.  Stepped up when your daughters needed you.  Risked everything to save their lives, and you think you didn’t do anything?”

Iris throws an arm over her dad and Lucy, her face squished up against him.  “Accidentally got her pregnant before your wedding.  Probably because you two can’t keep your hands off of each other.  Was there for her after our angel, Anders.  Was her rock after this tiny thing came into the world,” Harlan looks down at his sleeping tiny baby, petting his wrinkled hand over her angelic face.  He was worried sick that Story wouldn’t make it, and now in ways she was the most dramatic of all.

“Begged for how many years for that baby that sleeps on you.  And she’s every bit of your spawn.  Has your attitude completely.  I think you’ve done a lot.  And I’m proud of you.  Should have asked you to move in years ago.  Blade should have been brought home here.  Your spitting image, but he’s sweet and caring like his mama.”

“I’m sweet and caring,” Ransom looks up at Harlan, giving his grandfather a quick pout.

“Yes, son, you are.  And that sweet Iris, she may not look like you, but she’s every bit your sweet baby.  She’s always had a tender bond with you.  Now that one,” he chuckles looking at Aster.  “Carved right out of your ass.  Your eyes, your cocky attitude, your smart mouth, hardworking, loving, defensive towards her family, dedicated; she’s going to be amazing when she gets older.  Carry on your legacy with the company, I have no doubt.  Just don’t let her make movies out of my books.  Maybe there will be one that will write mystery novels akin to mine, and you can make those into movies.”

“Story’s going to write,” Ransom kicks his legs up onto the ottoman, getting a scowled face from Lucy.  “She already does.”

“Story won’t be writing mystery novels.  They’ll be dragons, and princesses, and Sir Lancelot,” looking up at his grandfather, he rolls his eyes, shaking his head.  “You wait and see.  She wishes on a star every night.  Be prepared.”

“What of my shy son?” Ransom reaches out a hand, and pushes back the hair in Blade’s eyes.  He knew why you babied your son so much, he looked just like him, and he had the sweetest soul.  Blade was a good kid, one of his best behaved children.  And like Iris he had his insecurities.

“Your intelligent son.  He’ll grow out of that shyness.  Not too much, because I quite like it.  It’s sweet.  He’s going to make you so proud.  Just like how you make me proud.  He’s going to carve his own way, and I hope he’s not the womanizer that you were.  But if he is, when he finds that special someone, I hope he doesn’t fight it like you did.  How long after you and Kitten were, you know, when you knew?”

“Sooner than you think,” he chuckles.  He admitted long after the two of you got together that it happened sooner than he originally wanted.  You were different.  And he knew it.

“It was this pull to you, wasn’t it?” Ransom rolls his eyes to meet Harlan’s.  “Like no matter how hard you tried to stay away you couldn’t.  Didn’t even want to call up your regular girls.  You waited for her to call, and would throw any obligation aside to be with her.  You played your games with her, but there was a moment, during the jumping on the bed, that you knew it meant more.  Stared at her longer, because you didn’t want to forget any moment.  Hoped she would fall asleep next to you, so you could enjoy her company, her scent, her breath, her air, her taste even longer.”

“How did you know that?”

“That’s how I felt about your grandmother.  We’re not so different, Ransom.  Had you not been born to your terrible father, I would say you were my clone.  How long did it take?”

“After the first time I met her, I wanted to know more, didn’t know why.  Ransom Drysdale could have any woman.  And then I saw her at the bar…I couldn’t get her out of my head.  There was something enticing about her being taken, I could have her without the commitment.”

“How long?” Harlan repeats.

“After a month.  A handful of meetings, I didn’t want to let her go.  I couldn’t let her go.”

“And I’m still right here, baby,” Ransom should have known that the sound of his voice wasn’t going to keep you asleep for long.  He didn’t care.  While it was the first time saying that out loud, he meant every word.  “And look at our babies,” you grunt as you sit up.  “They’re uncomfortable.”

“Would you trade it?” Harlan asks with a smile.

“Not for all the money in the world,” you say, leaning over to kiss Ransom’s lips.

“And one day,” Harlan begins as he looks around at his family.  “One day, you’re going to be sitting in this chair, or on the couch together.  Your grown children arguing about something that happened when they were kids, and you're going to have a house full of grandchildren.  Some cuddling with you, some chasing each other around, some I’m sure will laugh as their parents playfully fight, some will be playing Go, you better keep that alive.  But I hope that they fill this dusty old estate up with all these pretty babies.  These kids, they’re the reason I’ve stayed alive for so long.  They keep me young, and I want to see all that they accomplish.”

“A lawyer,” Ransom says, looking at Iris.  While he hated Andy, he knew how much she desired to do law, and that she would follow in her father and Andy’s footsteps.  She could softly debate any topic.  “And a good mama.  I’m gonna be stuck with Tweedle Dee forever, aren’t I?”

“A CEO,” you give a kiss on Aster’s brunette hair.  “She’s going to change Blood Like Wine.”

“And she’s going to make me so proud,” Harlan laughs, “Gonna keep Walt on his toes when she tells him who is in charge.  Aster Drysdale doesn’t take no for an answer.  She’s going to modernize that company, and expand on it.”

“My Bladey is going to do everything,” you cup his cheek, wishing you could slow time down.  “He’s going to be into computers, games, he’ll follow his Uncle JJ somehow.  He’s so smart, I’m sure he could hack into the FBI’s system.”

“Our Story book,” Story’s head flops back, and her mouth opens slightly, “She’s got so many stories to tell, and she’ll tell him.  She’ll become a queen of her own castle. Be the Queen of Boston when her knight in shining armor climbs up the trellis, and rescues her.  He’ll climb up there one last time, and they’ll never part.”

“If you tell me that I’m going to be stuck with Tweedle Dum, too,” you giggle, drawing out his name as you look at him.  “I’m serious.  She’s another one that doesn’t take no as an answer.”

“And Luciana Violet may be much too small to determine, but that child, she’s going to pave her own way.  She dances to a completely different tune, remember that when you feel she’s so much different than the rest.  She may be all Drysdale, but she’s going to do her own thing.  She’s going to be just like her father.”

“No!”

“Ransom, she’s your daughter.  She’s just like you were.”

“I don’t want her to be like me.  She’s too sweet.  Can we make her be like her mother?” Both you and Harlan shake your heads no.  “Oh, I don’t like this game.  You’re basically saying that I’ve got the boneheads in my life forever, I’m having lots of grandkids, Aster is staying single…”

“No,” Harlan shakes his head no, and Ransom throws his head back.  “Aster is going to try and follow what she thinks everyone wants her to do.  But when she least expects it, a shooting star is going to make her want to make a wish for the first time.  The moon will change the tide, and she’s going to find just the person she was meant to be with in this whole galaxy.”

“Why are you talking like that?  Kitten, why is he talking like that?”

“I feel it in these old bones.  Bladey is going to be like you,” you gasp, holding Blade closer.

“You don’t want him to be like me?”

“Ran, you were a whore.  My baby will never be a whore.”

“We’ll see, woman.  We’ll see.”

“And you’re never allowed to tell me I told you so.  Blade is always going to be my sweet boy.”

“Until he finds a sweet girl he wants to corrupt.”

“Okay.  This conversation is over.  Harlan as always these conversations are riveting.  But I am going to get my babies in bed, and I’m going to pretend this conversation never happened.”

“Kitten?” You look over towards Harlan, and he gives you a smile.  Lifting his aged hand up, he wipes away the tears, “I’m proud of you, too.  Thank you for giving me this beautiful family.”

Masterlist

[mermaidsirennikita]

spicy book recs?

alright let's see

Sierra Simone writes theee best erotic romance, some of my faves include:

The New Camelot trilogy. Kinky King Arthur--very literally a modern King Arthur retelling in which King Arthur is [drumroll] Maxen Ashley "Ash" Colchester, president, erstwhile war hero, and absolute panty dropper, Lancelot his VP Embry Lance (never forget his middle name is Lance) Moore, my favorite romance character ever, and his first lady is Greer Galloway, the girl who heard a prophecy that was like "please don't kiss anyone" and went "okay I'll kiss everyone". MMF, kinky, angsty, dramatic.

Thornchapel. Quartet about six friends who accidentally awoke a gothic looming horror thing as kids and then continue to awake it as adults with kinky sex rituals. Kinda like The Secret History x Picnic at Hanging Rock x Brideshead Revisited with a dash of occult. Two core romances, one is MMF (childhood friends to enemies to lovers and the girl they both love) and one is FF. TW for incest(?). Very kinky, much group sex and sharing occurs.

Priest. One of her more.... approachable books, about a Catholic priest who falls for a woman who tells him all the shit she's done in confession. Also kinky.

Salt Kiss. Just out, a spinoff from New Camelot that retells Tristan and Isolde but with Tristan as a bodyguard and Mark as his boss who he falls in love with before he meets Isolde, who he promptly also falls in love with. Salt in the Wound is a novella that should be read first, ab out Mark and Isolde. Kinky, queer, intense.

Grace Callaway writes really fun historical romances that lean towards the more erotic. Usually, there's a girl who boldly ventures into danger, and a hero who's like "my god I find her brash impulsiveness compelling, I must eat her out and tell her she's bad".

I really love her Lady Charlotte's Society of Sirens series, which is like, Charlie's Angels but Victorian.

Olivia and the Masked Duke. Age gap D/s romance, bratty heroine paired with a hero who's like "I'm your dad's friend, I can't do this"... but she's obsessed after seeing him spank another woman, so she's pretty determined to make it happen.

Pippa and the Prince of Secrets. Childhood sweethearts reunite after her shitty husband dies. Hero is scarred and runs a band of child spies (I died). They're both really into exhibition and ye olde sex swing.

Fiona and the Enigmatic Earl. Feisty diamond of the season girl ends up in a marriage of convenience with a stern earl. Both of them are basically spies undercover, but neither of them knows lol. She's very bratty with him.

Glory and the Master of Shadows. Heroine gets mentored in badassery by the hero, who's desperately trying to resist her because he's Tainted and she's Fresh and Innocent. At one point he eats her out against the wall while her parents are sleeping with the door open down the hall.

You want a mafia romance? Try Mila Finelli. Her Kings of Italy series kicks off with Mafia Mistress & Mafia Darling, a duet about a girl who is kidnapped to marry this mafioso's son, but the dad like "nah, I want you, be my mistress". My favorite in the series is Mafia Madman, which is about a fucking lunatic blowing up a bar to kidnap the heroine for Revenge. He chains her to his bed and they have an enemies to lovers situation because she keeps telling him he ain't shit and he's like "sadly I am entranced by her". Mafia Target is an M/M assassin/target book, most excellent.

In terms of "contemporary sex club" books, I'd recommend The Salacious Players Club, which is about a group of friends who start a sex club (with two additional installments about the most noteworthy patrons of the club). Each book deals with a different kink--praise kink with an age gap, femdom, voyeurism, "we think I'm a cuck but actually me and my wife and my best friend are just mutually in love with each other", daddy kink, etc.

Joanna Shupe (who is also Mila Finelli) writes pretty hot historicals. I would recommend especially

My Dirty Duke. Victorian novella, age gap, heroine falls for her dad's best friend and he takes sexy old timey pics of her.

Sold to the Duke. Heroine enters an auction for her virginity to save her sister from destitution, gets bought by her dead brother's best friend who's like "I'm not going to take what I bought" and she's like "oh yes you are dude.

Her Uptown Girls trilogy is about three sisters who bop around Gilded Age NYC, getting into trouble with 1) dad's lawyer 2) casino owner attempting to ruin dad because revenge 3) powerful gangster. Very hot and very fun.

Fifth Avenue Rebels is my favorite series by her. It starts off with a house party in Newport and then continues into all the drama after. Recommending reading in order, they're all good, and they lead up to one of my favorites, The Duke Gets Even, about the uptight duke and wild child heiress who've been circling each other for the previous books. Very hot, and they both enjoy rough sex.

S.M. LaViolette (who is Minerva Spencer) writes hot historicals. I just finished her Seducers trilogy, which follows three sex workers/former sex workers from the same brothel as they meet people and fall in love with much drama and high stakes. Hot and romantic as fuck. TW: all of the books feature trauma in the past, but little to none is on the page

Paranormals? Kresley Cole's Immortals After Dark, which is full of vampires, werewolves, witches, and everything else falling in love and having lots of sex across the world. Long running and pretty violent, so check your TWs, especially for the older ones.

Passion by Lisa Valdez is a really wild erotic historical romance with a hero and heroine who start fucking as soon as they meet in the first chapter. Behind a screen the first go. She has a magic vagina that his massive cock can fit into as a miracle basically.

I mean... if you're willing to go, uh, bold as fuck, Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners is very erotic. Everyone is polyamorous, everyone is bi, it kicks off with a British editor visiting a novelist to work with her, and oops, she's a dominatrix. The central three characters are that dominatrix, Nora, her long time on again/off again lover/dom Soren, who is...a Catholic priest with a sadism fetish... and Kingsley, who owns this kink club Soren and Nora are respectively the #1 and #2 top dogs at. There is a LOT of sadomasochism in this series, a lot of kinky shit, a lot of angst, dubcon and noncon. There's also... some shit I don't think would be written today, like a good amount of underage sex, severely morally questionable relationships, and I don't loooove some of the dynamics written (Kingsley and his long-term partner Juliette make me question much). The writing is beautiful, the characters and dynamics are fascinating, but it's definitely something you should dig into before reading.

But I can't lie, Nora, Soren, and Kingsley have a spellbinding dynamic. It's fucked, but it compels me so. I will add, there were 8 original books (not standalones) and then she revived the series years later. Stop at the first 8 (and their assorted companion novellas and short stories).