#especially in gilgamesh

[luxaofhesperides]

You tell me where you've been. I tell you where I've been. And then we can figure out where we are now.

[gilgil-machine]

I wish some people never had access to internet at all...

TW assault, TW r*pe

[character-of-all-time]

........

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi! I have a request about Zombi au👀 how about when they settled into the new place they meet up with druig and Makkari and they we're just all getting along in the instant and one time they having lunch conversation Makkari suddenly tell how Ikaris roughly handled thena on the supply run when Gil is still pass out and then Gil is not happy about it that thena needed to calm him down before he could kill the guy and assure him she already handled it. Thankyou ❣️❣️❣️

"Hey, you."

"Hey," Thena looked up as Gil circled behind her, his hand drifting over her shoulder as he sat down with a tray of food. "How's cooking duty?"

"Getting there," Gil answered simply. "I don't have the best inventory yet, but there haven't been any complaints."

"I'll say, this shite is better 'an anythin' we've had yet!"

"Gil, this is Druig," Thena introduced, only after Druig had taken the liberty of complimenting the food and then loudly shovelling in another bite. "He also worked here under Ajak in the beginning of things. He worked in psychiatry apparently, but he also is quite good with agriculture."

Gil smiled at the man eating like he had been famished for days, and then at the woman who gave him a cheeky kind of wave and smirk. "Uh, hey."

"Makkari," Thena smiled, putting down her fork and raising her hands. "She's deaf, but she's their top runner. She can cross the entire city in two hours, apparently."

"Whoa, that seems," Gil furrowed his brows, but Makkari grinned, signing something back to Thena. He would have to ask her to teach him during their off hours.

"She was a track champion, she says," Thena smiled, translating in real time as Makkari's hands flew at lightning speed. "She could have gone national if she hadn't been disqualified."

"Disqualified," Gil looked at them both, but Makkari didn't seem particularly bitter about it. She lifted her arms and made bunny ears with her opposite hands, a few times even.

Thena laughed, shaking her head as well as she lifted her fork for another bite, "stealing."

Makkari practically rolled right out of the cafeteria seat in her laughter at Gil's face.

"Extra food," Druig clarified, relieving Thena of translation duty. "Don't worry, she won't nick any of your valuables."

Makkari gave him a wink and a shrug.

"She won't," Thena raised her eyes at the woman across from her (across from Druig, really, but in her eye line). "Because she likes you."

Gil smiled sheepishly, picking at the meal he himself had prepared. "That's what everyone says when they're hungry."

Thena nudged him gently, under the table and away from the eyes of their new comrades. "You know very well that's not true."

He finally took a bite of food, looking around at those whom Thena had befriended in her short time here and without him. She didn't usually end up talking to people, let alone liking them. "How was the run today?"

"It was okay," she smiled, eyes searching him for a deeper worry under his light tone. "Makkari and I went into some higher hotel rooms close by--I told them about the mini-fridge trick."

"I can't believe we never considered 'em," Druig said with only half a mouth full this time, "all this time."

"Thena's smart like that," Gil praised freely and openly, looking at the woman beside him instead of eating his bean salad. Not that she noticed.

It could have gone better.

Thena did look up at Makkari but didn't bother speaking up, resuming eating instead.

Gil frowned at her, "what?"

"It's nothing," she shrugged, reaching for her bottle of water.

Makkari looked at Gil, it did go well, until a certain someone started arguing with Thena over whether to take the stairwells or use a dumbwaiter system in the elevator shafts to get the supplies down.

Gil leaned behind Thena, asking Druig with his eyes to please translate for him.

Druig looked at Makkari, and then at Thena, who must have given him a hell of an expression. He swallowed his massive bite slowly. "Uh, well, it was mostly smooth sailin', apparently. Nothin' to worry about, big fella."

Gil frowned, though. He put his fork down and slid his tray away from him, only so he could slide Thena's tray away from her. She stared at the table, as if trying to figure out what had happened to her meal. She turned and looked at him the way she would look at the devil himself. "Thena?"

She just glared at him, lips pursed (cutely). "It was nothing."

He slid her tray even further away from her. He knew there wasn't much that could break the iron will of the Goddess of War. But withholding her food - so long as it was made by him, which was kind of sweet - was the one way. "Thena, what happened?"

She eyed the tray, knowing he would not make getting it back easy. A faint huff escaped her as she tossed her fork down, "Ikaris and I got into it, nothing worth dragging up again."

"What do you mean," Gil said quietly and evenly, his hands already tightening around the edges of her tray, "got into it?"

"Blondie here is cocky, that's what she means."

"Ikaris, not now," she turned in her seat, all too prepared to bark at him about minding his own business. "It's water under the bridge."

He glared her down, though, crossing his leanly muscled arms at her in his navy t-shirt. "I said we should use a dumbwaiter to get the food up and down. But GI Jane here said it would be better to carry the shit all 'emselves down seventeen fuckin' flights of stairs."

"You can't rely on the cables in elevator shafts anymore!"

"Okay, okay," Kingo patted Ikaris' shoulder beside him, "don't wanna go starting this again."

Gil stood. "What happened?"

"Uh," Kingo looked around, as if he would find a glowing door that would help him escape another scuffle.

"What," Gil repeated, having no problem standing nose to nose with the obstinate guard, "happened?"

Ikaris looked down at Thena, who was still seated, determined not to rise to his bait (as Gil was). He scoffed, "she's savvy out there, but she's got wee arms to be doin' heavy liftin', no? I got my hand around her whole bicep."

Gil tilted his head faintly, trying to absorb what Ikaris was saying. He had held Thena's arm? He had held her by the arm? He had gripped her by the arm? He had fit his entire hand around Thena's slim upper arm?

"If she bruises it's only 'cause she has as much meat on those bones as a pigeon."

Gil grabbed Ikaris by the front of his shirt, backing him up into the seats behind them. Ikaris' knees bent, making him grab the edge of the table behind him. Gil leaned over him heavier. "Don't you ever touch her!"

"Gil!" Thena rose, eager to intervene as others in the cafeteria started gasping and whispering.

"Don't ever put your hands on her!" Gil roared in the guy's face. He didn't care. He didn't care that he was making a scene or making a powerful enemy. He didn't care if he got kicked out for this. "If anything - anything - ever happens to her out there I will kill you!"

"Easy!" Kingo yelled, trying to pry the much larger, much stronger Gil away.

"Come on!" Druig growled, also trying to drag Gil away from Ikaris.

"I mean it!" Gil barked at him, "if anything ever happens to her it's your head!"

"Gilgamesh!" Thena moved between them, pushing against his chest as Kingo and Druig attempted to pull him by the arms. She pressed her fingers into the divet between his pectoral muscles. "Stop it!"

He was out of steam, anyway. But he was still glaring at Ikaris as he picked himself up, huffing and glaring, obviously ready to go on if he was let go. Gil was all but panting, light headed from the adrenaline rushing through him. He couldn't help it. All he felt was rage looking at this bastard.

"Gil," Thena attempted, raising her hand to his cheek and forcing him to look at her, "hey."

He blinked, the edges of his vision expanding again.

"Look at me," she whispered, her thumb against his cheek, "I'm right here."

She was right here, unharmed.

"I'm fine," she assured him, making him look at her instead of over her head at the man he was frankly ready to beat to death.

Gil carefully raised his hands. He knew everyone was watching him. They had seen him lose it twice now, if not more, considering how long he was out of it during his recovery. They probably thought he was some monster of a man.

But he ran his hands over Thena's arms gently, as if just touching her would make the bruising that asshole was talking about appear before his very eyes. Her skin was so soft. "Y-Yeah?"

She nodded, still holding him, grounding his senses in her instead of his rapid heartbeat and boiling blood. "Yeah."

Gil let go of a long breath, letting the rest of his energy leave him. He was exhausted, and he was still on dinner and cleanup duty for the night. "Okay."

Thena smiled, satisfied that he was feeling calmer about the whole thing. She let him pull her closer until she was tucked against his chest, which he would argue was the safest place in the world for her. She pressed her cheek against his clavicle and the collar of his t-shirt under his unbuttoned flannel. "It's okay, Gil."

Druig stepped away from him tentatively, hands still at the ready, "all right, then."

"Come on," Kingo patted Ikaris as he picked himself up. He looked at Thena and Gil, neither apologising nor condemning them. "Let's go."

Ikaris did give them one last glare before storming off.

Gil watched him go. He didn't like that guy, no matter how nice Sersi was. But once he was far away enough, he resumed burying his nose in Thena's hair. "Sorry."

She rubbed his back, as if soothing him after a nightmare, "you're okay."

"What is going on in here?!"

Thena pulled away, looking up at Gil with wide eyes. He was not to say a word.

"S-Sorry," Druig stood as Ajak made her way over. "Me'n Ikaris...y'know."

Ajak gave him a look, but the fact that she so readily believed him really spoke to how well the guard got along with most here in the hospital colony. "How many times, Druig?"

"Aye aye," he nodded, like a teenager getting scolded after curfew. He sat himself back down, "won't make a peep, mother dearest."

Ajak just rolled her eyes at him, despite what she claimed to be a very strict rule about in-fighting. She looked at Gil, leaning against Thena's shoulders. "Everything okay?"

She most definitely knew that it was Gilgamesh involved in the fight, not Druig.

Gil smiled, hiding his fists in his armpits, "great!"

"Hm," she pinched her lips together, at him and then at Thena, "I trust the matter was resolved?"

Thena just nodded, but Ajak seemed to accept the silent promise to her that the fighting was at least done for now.

"Right," the doctor sighed before rushing away to her next fire that needed squashing, her white coat flaring behind her.

Thena looked up at him. "That was too close for comfort, wouldn't you say?"

Speak for yourself, that was the most fun I've had all week!

Thena just glared at the petty thief and friend across from her.

He sighed, sitting down with her and trying to ignore the stares focused on them. He slide their trays over again, half pushing his into her space for her to take what she liked from him. "Sorry."

Thena nudged Druig's shoulder faintly as she picked up her fork again, neither looking at each other, "thanks."

"Nothin'," Druig shrugged, also not looking as he resumed eating his corn (while Makkari resumed stealing bites of his canned fruit).

"You sure I can't come with you?" Gil asked her gently, no longer having any appetite. He hovered closer to her than necessary, even running the back of his knuckles up and down her bare arm. "I'm no 'you', but I'd be better than that guy."

Makkari nodded eagerly.

"That's for Ajak to decide," Thena said gently to dissuade him from his overprotective argument. "And besides, who would make these delicious meals then?"

He sighed. She was appealing to the chef in him, but he would rather crawl through filth with her than serve a hundred strangers his best three course meal. "Come on."

"Not to pick sides, but T's right, big guy," Druig piped up, again with his mouth full. T? "I ain't eaten like this in a dog's age, and I bet the rest of 'em here'll get how invaluable you are right quick."

No one else here talked like that.

"I can handle myself," Thena assured him more quietly. She even let him pull her knee so her thigh could rest against his. "You don't think I would let him grab me and not nail him right in the nuts, do you?"

Gil chuckled. No, of course she had gotten in a shot directly to his biggest weakness. That was the Goddess of War he knew (and loved). Thena leaned in gently as he pressed a kiss to her hair, "of course not."

[veiledfox]

} There really is something to good music making things memorable

[p3answer]

i need to finish fate/extra so bad i was enjoying it so so so much and i just stopped for some reason. but well i am eating so many vns right now i need to put it on the backburner

[battle-subway-ghost]

what the fuck is up is up with those plushes people keep sending you?

I wish I knew too, anon. I really do.

[taran-chan]

my biggest what if is "what if the Eternals cast do a special edition for Three Meals A Day?"

like i'll never stop thinking about that ever

[redladydeath]

shout out to my twelfth grade honors english/humanities teacher for having us read the epic of gilgamesh and other ancient texts: we didn’t really get it at the time, but that shit Cultured us

[disgustiphage]

and i managed to get shockwave pulsar on quistis :D never even knew i could do that as a kid

[chronomally]

In the introduction, Stephen Mitchell is like "The Epic of Gilgamesh predates the Hero's Journey and yet it is somehow the antithesis of one" and like it really is. Gilgamesh goes back to Uruk having learned nothing and gained nothing - he failed to gain immortality, he's still afraid of death, he hasn't gained any insight into like the human condition or reflected on his own faults, he just shows up at the city gates with Urshanabi (who got fired I guess) and he's like look at Uruk the most beautiful city and that's it

[snowflop]

The new shelf is at long last completed! It's a little tall but I think it looks good -w-)b

[gilgil-machine]

I definitely agree that besides his mood varying from the time he's summoned/whether he's incarnated or not, he's also affected by his Master. Kirei also wanting to bring about angra mainyu works well in Gil's decision to cull the world, but I really wonder what would happen if he was incarnated in the modern day with Hakuno as his master. I wonder if she'd be able to reel him in from going off the deep end

That's an interesting question to which I don't have a certain answer and also it depends about which universe we're talking about. About Hakuno's universe or our universe?

If we're talking about Hakuno's universe I can't say too much since we don't know too much about what kind of world it was and what people were doing before it got corrupted by BB since all of the events were happening in the cyberspace outside the Holy Grail War and that cyberspace serves more like a "purgatory" or maybe "limbo" for lost souls that cannot exist outside this cyberspace. Plus Hakuno is not technically a human and also mostly amnesiac during their journey and we don't know much about them, their past and their true wishes and goals and why they got into Holy Grail War and also everyone is collaborating for the same goal even after getting back some of their memories instead of getting on each other's throats. And since Gilgamesh was mostly cut off from those triggering factors he's acting more chill and reserved.

But if we're talking about our universe and our modern world I don't think that Hakuno would help too much and won't really change his convictions since he would still mostly be affected by his surroundings because first and foremost he's the king and an arbiter of this world and the world became more messed up, I mean, it already was but with technological progress it became more wicked and twisted.

And as we know Gilgamesh is not against technological progress and all that stuff, he fully welcomes it and supports it but what bothers him is what people have become while he was "away" and how a wish granting tool became cursed because of greedy and wicked nature of humans.

He's bothered how human life became worthless in this world and also (I failed to mention it in my post) how greedy and gluttonous people have become. And sure he might hate that just out of jealousy since mongrels are now allowed to get the privilege that only king has but I also think that he wants to give humans that are blinded by greed, gluttony and other sins a lesson that if they won't change their ways of living it would lead them to their doom and the best lesson is to make all humans without an acception feel their own evil with their own skin.

Also this quote. I think a lot about this quote that fits just perfectly especially right now.

So I think Gilgamesh would act the same way with Hakuno like he acts with Tiné since there's not much to do since it's not his job to parent humans and lead them by the hand since he wants humans to be independent in their choices and learn how the world works by themselves and, well, humans themselves are already doing a pretty good job in punishing and destroying themselves even without his help, so he would just stand on the sidelines and watch the world burn. But still he would give them some guidance (in his own way) to make people understand and maybe learn their mistakes so there's a small chance of his intervention if things would get out of control but still the result won't be pretty for everyone.

[soaps-mohawk]

I just saw someone talk about Simon Riley being a rapist and the only way they tried to confirm it is by saying that he is a war criminal and all soldiers are misogynistic and sexist and they also talked about how he dreamt of hurting women in the comics when that's quite literally a normal reaction by being raped by both men and women (what I mean is that abused people sometimes dream of becoming someone they're not and don't want to be) but they conveniently forgot to mention how that "dream" was a nightmare. (Just wanted to rant about this and see your opinion)

The sigh I let out when I saw this ask this morning.

I'm so sick and tired of seeing this discourse. Not just in this fandom but in every fandom. Maybe it's just because I'm old and my frontal lobe is fully developed, or maybe it's because I was in fandom back in the days where there were no tags. You were lucky if you got a warning at the beginning of a fic. Most fics you walked in blind and if you didn't like something? You hit the back button and found something else.

This sudden mainstreaming of fandom has ruined these spaces. People come in, refuse to "learn the rules" that most of us learned by just existing in these spaces and watching others interact. There were no written rules back then. We learned by observing and occasionally being guided on fandom etiquette by those more experienced than us. Now it's just like people come in expecting fandom to be like every other space on the internet and then get defensive and angry when they realize it's not. Fandom is cringy. It's nerdy. It's happy and sunshine and it's dark and ugly like every media out there. Us creators and those of us more experienced in fandom have been screaming how to exist in fandom spaces from the rooftops but no one is listening and then everyone wonders why creators are leaving these spaces. Why fandoms keep getting abandoned.

All of that aside, this discourse about FICTIONAL characters pisses me off. Simon Riley is a FICTIONAL character. He has no morality, there is no right or wrong because he's FICTIONAL. You can make him do whatever you want to do because he's NOT REAL. You can give him wings and have him fly and guess what?? Cool, that can happen because he's NOT REAL. You want to make him a rapist? Cool, you can do that because he's FICTIONAL. You can make him whatever you want to make him because he's a character. He's not a living, breathing human being. There are no consequences of his actions because he's FICTIONAL!!!

Don't even get me started on this sudden discourse about dark fics and dead dove that's appeared recently. Dark media has existed for literal centuries. The Epic of Gilgamesh from 1800 BCE. The Odyssey. Mostellaria by Plautus. The Castle of Otranto published in the 1700s. Frankenstein. Dracula. The works of Edgar Allan Poe. Lolita. Hell, look at the Bible. The Bible, especially the old testament, is fucked up. Even in the watered down, bastardized King James version, the things the old testament "God" supposedly did, when you sit and actually think about them outside the lens of religious brainrot, are super fucked up.

People have been creating dark media for a long time. Horror has existed for a long time because it plays to our worst fears. It gives us a safe way to express those fears and to experience them without having to experience them first hand. You wouldn't bitch at a horror movie director for including things like rape and gore and murder in their movies?? So why is writing different? You think every horror movie director agrees with the things they portray on screen? You think every horror movie director would go out and murder someone just because they made a movie about it? No, because we're allowed to portray things in all forms of media, we're allowed to write things without morally agreeing with them. Guess what, most people that write rape or assault or violence, aren't going out and doing those things in real life. They don't support those things in real life. In fact, people that write dark fanfics are some of the loudest protesters against those things.

If you want to make Simon Riley a real person, guess what? He's not going to be even morally grey. Most people in the military are not good people. They're not. The people that are good people in the military, or were in the military, are the ones saying that the loudest. People that got tricked into joining, people that got promised things, people that did it because they had no other choice and then realized what it was really like after getting in? Those are the people to listen to. Not Call of Duty, not the people trying to convince you to join because they're glorified sales people and have a quota to fill. Look up videos of what happened in Iraq and Afghanistan at the hands of American and British soldiers. You would not like Simon Riley if he were a real person.

But he's not real. He's FICTIONAL. Even as a fictional character, he's not a good person. So many Call of Duty fans put on the blinders and ignore the fact that these men are out here committing awful acts of violence and killing people because they're "the good guys." People love to forget that Price literally kidnapped a woman and a child and had them held at gunpoint to get information out of someone. Not only that, he was okay with it. If he were a real person that did that, you would not be questioning if he were a good person or not. You can tell the people that have never played the games or watched playthroughs, who only know these characters through the lenses of fanfics and artwork and headcanons.

Call of Duty is military propaganda. They paint these men as heroes, make it easy to put the blinders up and ignore the things that are happening, the things they're doing so that they can convince young men that they want to do that and they should join the military so they can go out and do that too. That's Call of Duty's audience. That's who they're creating these games for. These young, impressionable boys who get excited by the violence and the action who will go on to fill quota numbers for recruiters. Call of Duty was not made for us, the people writing fanfiction and creating art for it. This side of the Call of Duty fandom will be the first to tell you all of this.

This side of the fandom creates fanworks which would turn Activision's eyes red. We babygirlify their military propaganda because it actively goes against what Activision is trying to do. It goes against what Call of Duty is at its core. Sure, some people water it down a lot, and others keep it more realistic to what these men would be like in real life, because it's FICTION. You can portray these characters however you want because that's what fiction is for.

And guess what, anon? Rape kinks exist. Consensual non-consent exists. It's well known. And guess what? Victims of sexual assault and rape can develop those kinks as a coping mechanism. Here's a study from the NIH website, and if that's too complex for you, here's a VICE news article that uses that study. People can write rape and rape kinks and CNC and noncon and not support it in real life. People can write those things to bring awareness to the fact that they happen to people in real life, or because people in real life have those kinks. People write those things to help victims, to support them. It's cathartic. Dark media most often is created for catharsis. It gives people an outlet, and it allows people to experience those things in a safe, controlled environment for whatever reason.

And that's the thing, anon. People don't have to give anyone a reason for why the consume that kind of media. Creators don't owe anyone an explanation as to why they create it. It's none of your business, and if you're not comfortable with it, then don't consume it. You can turn off the TV if a horror movie is too much for you. People walk out of theaters all the time because a movie is not what they were expecting, be it because it was bad or because it was too graphic or violent or disgusting. You start reading a book and you don't like it for whatever reason? You put the book down and pick up another. Why do people have such a problem with not reading fanfics they don't like? Why do people have such a hard time just blocking creators that make things they don't want to see. Most dark fic and dead dove creators put ample warnings on their blog and their posts. That's why those tags exist. You don't like it and you don't want to see it? Then block and move on and let others enjoy what they want to enjoy.

You pearl clutchers are ruining fandom and soon there won't be anything for you to enjoy. If you can't handle fandom, then don't be in it. There is no algorithm here. You're going to see things you don't want to see and it's very easy to just block and filter tags. There was a time on Tumblr where you couldn't filter tags. I remember those days. You had to download the X-kit extension to block things, and that only worked on desktop. The fact Tumblr gave us the option to filter tags on the site and on the app was a big deal when it was rolled out. I remember so many people that didn't want to use the app when it first came out because you couldn't block potentially triggering tags.

It's not a creator's problem if you were triggered by their media. Life doesn't come with trigger warnings and it's a blessing that it's become so normalized to include warnings at the beginnings of fics. There's websites that exist for other forms of media that will give trigger warnings. If you can look up trigger warnings for a movie and decide not to watch it, you can look at the trigger warnings for fics and decide not to interact with it. You're not out here emailing the directors and producers of movies that include triggers you don't like, telling them they're awful people for including those things in their movie and they shouldn't. Yet you have no problem coming into the comments and inboxes creators who do this FOR FREE because we wrote one dark fic. Because we wrote something that's triggering to you.

And yes, some abuse victims go on to be abusers, some people continue that cycle because they don't have the help and support to break it. It's a sad thing that happens, but it happens. It happens in the fictional world and it happens in real life. People can make that happen to fictional characters for whatever reasons they want.

I've written dark fics. I've written several. I consume "disturbing" media for fun. I've read books and watched movies that would send these pearl clutchers to the hospital. Hell, I've probably written things (some published, some that will never see the light of day) that would turn these pearl clutchers inside out. Guess what? That's okay because it's FICTION. It's cathartic. I don't have to give my reasons why because it's no one's business except those I decide to tell because I trust them and I know they'll support me. I don't support those things in real life. Just because I write for Call of Duty doesn't mean I support the things the game portrays. If you consume Call of Duty media be it the games or fanfiction, does that mean you support what the game supports? What the creators of the games support? What militaries around the world support?

Think about that next time.

I’ve made my stance very clear here before, but I’ll do it again. In real life, I am anti military, anti war, anti gun violence, anti genocide, anti fascism, anti terf, anti homophobia, anti conservative, anti rape, anti domestic violence, anti colonialism and pro choice.

Just because I may create or consume media with those things in it, does not mean I support them. It's high time some of these pearl clutchers learn that.

The next time you want to come into a creator's inbox or comments and spew hatred towards them because of the things they write, why don't you do something useful with your time instead.

This will be my only discussion on this topic. I will not be answering any more asks like this. I will delete and block anyone who tries to come "well actually"-ing into my inbox. If you don't agree with this stance, then get off my blog and block me.

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi! I have a request about the Thenamesh AU :)

After the first shock when Gil lost his powers and Ajak healed his arm Gil is very much human for a short duration.

How about a little accident when someone (it can be Thena or someone else. you choose) hurts him accidentally like grabbing his arm too hard or giving him a hard pat on his back. Normally it would be nothing but being a human it’s impact would be 5 times more painful. Thena takes care of him and they share a soft moment?

I think it would be interesting since they have to be careful around the strongest eternal!

"It was an accident."

"Hm," Thena let out in acknowledgement, although it was hardly accepting of it. She wrung out the cool cloth and raised it again.

Gilgamesh sighed as she pressed the cold linen to his arm. His skin was dotted and flushed with red, where his blood vessels had burst under the skin after an impact.

He wasn't allowed outside of Babylon Temple at all in the wake of his 'injury'. Not even just in reference to his still-healing hand, but to his still-human physiology. He hadn't woken up cured, or even improved. Ajak could not heal it out of him and Phastos could find no cause, let alone a cure. He was human until further notice.

Thena hadn't left his side unless absolutely necessary. And even when it was, she would finish the fight as quickly as possible and rush back to him, daring anyone to stand in her way.

Gilgamesh let Thena move gently, trying to reduce his swelling and redness with the cool water. He got human injuries now, which received human treatments. Thena didn't trust Ajak to know what Gil's new pain threshold was after the gruesome scene of her healing his broken hand.

Ajak had stated that she knew very well how to heal humans. Thena had argued that if that was how she healed humans, then maybe they weren't the brave protectors they thought they were.

Thena was stressed, to say the least.

"Hey," Gilgamesh whispered, hoping to pull her out of her mulling. She pulled the cloth away and ran the back of her fingers over his arm. He raised his other hand, injury be damned, and placed it over hers, "hey."

Thena finally looked at him, her eyes so muddled with thoughts they almost seemed to be a different colour than normal. She sighed, "hey."

Gil smiled, although getting Thena to follow it was hard. He knew she had been nothing short of hypervigilant since his condition arose. "I'm okay."

"Are you?" she whispered in return, her eyes flicking away from his and to his hand and now his arm, too.

"Sure," he smiled, even laughed quietly. He gave her hand a squeeze with his, "I'm with you."

Thena shook her head at him, but her smile did emerge. She stood from her kneeling to sit beside him on her bed. Not even his own quarters were safe enough for him, as far as she was concerned. "You are in pain."

"Not much," he shrugged.

One friendly slap on the arm from Kingo - forgetting his strength - had sent him flying to the ground. The bruise was sure to be an ugly, angrily coloured thing. Kingo had rushed to apologise and help his brother up, of course.

Thena had rushed over, ready to snap the sharpshot's arm clean in two in return for the injury.

It had taken Makkari rushing between them as well as Sersi and Ajak both pulling at Thena to keep her from it. And ultimately, she had only left to tend to Gilgamesh.

Thena touched her forehead to his cheek, letting their breaths become one, "any pain at all is more than you deserve."

Gil smiled, leaning his head against hers. He snuck his hand away from hers, only so he could wrap his good arm around her from behind and hold her against him properly. "How could I be in pain when I have the Warrior Eternal to take care of me?"

"Gilgamesh."

"Thena, really," he insisted, pulling his head up and tilting it to pull her gaze up to his. "I'm okay."

She accepted his words, although they both knew she would still be hovering around him protectively until she had decided for herself that it was unnecessary. She took in his smile, touching her fingers ever so gently to his cheek.

Gil crossed the distance, pressing her palm flat against his cheek and leaning into it. "I won't break."

"You already have," she lamented, although she let him revel in her touch all he liked.

"Not from you," his smile grew as he happily nuzzled into her palm. "You're nice and gentle with me."

Thena tilted her head at him and his cuddling, allowing it without question. She watched him the way Sersi watched the sunrise. "I have learned from you."

"Hm?"

Thena moved, adjusting her position next to him and moving both her hands over his cheeks and to his chest. She tapped her finger against his chestplate, "you are the Gentlest Eternal. I know how to treat you softly because you are so very sweet with me."

Gilgamesh blushed, looking down at their brushing knees bashfully. "Like I could be anything else with you?"

Thena finally smiled genuinely, leaning in to kiss his cheek as firmly as they could afford. "No, nor I, you."

Gil's eyes closed, savouring the small but also immense touch of affection from her. He sighed, "maybe I should get injured more often."

"Gilgamesh."

"Okay, okay," he chuckled, returning to leaning against her. He sighed, "y'know, I'm getting really used to having you around so much."

"I am always around you."

"What if I don't want you to go on watch anymore?" he lifted his head and pouted at her, making her laugh. He wrapped both arms around her (despite the ache in his right one). "What if I just want you to stay here and cuddle me all the time, now?"

Thena indulged him, raising her hands to his cheeks again. Her thumbs brushed over the full apples of them, pushing up the tilt of his eyes, "you are deprived of my touch, are you?"

He sighed morosely and nodded, widening his eyes to give her the impression of a sad little stray.

Thena shook her head at him again. She leaned forward, needing no practice to leave the gentlest of kisses against his lips. He returned it, and perhaps in this way she could feel just a hint of his usual strength and fervour.

He leaned forward, wanting more.

"Gil," Thena pulled back, putting a hand on his chest as his tongue pursued hers. She held his eyes and shook her head.

He gave her a pout and those eyes again, "Thena."

"Gilgamesh," she pressed. "Not until you are well again."

He sighed genuinely, flopping backwards on her bed (her hand shot forward, keeping him from banging his head on the wall behind them). He chuckled, "now you really are depriving me."

She leaned over him, kissing him again even more softly than before. "Then concentrate your energy on healing, and you will be deprived of me no longer."

He leaned up again, kissing her as hard as he could. "You really know how to motivate a man."

[fxoye]

i'm honestly at a loss right now. like... what even is happening on the SNW star trek reddit thread?

i know i shouldn't be surprised at this point, but the level of pushback and dismissal when it comes to even the mere possibility of spock being queer is just... baffling.

like, i get that reddit has its share of toxicity and closed-mindedness, but for some reason i thought the star trek fandom would be a bit more evolved, you know? this is literally a franchise that has always been about inclusivity, diversity, and pushing social boundaries. and yet here we are, in 2024, still having to justify the basic idea that hey, maybe the character with a decades-long history of queer subtext and coding could, in fact, be queer.

it's just wild to me that this is even a debate. like, i'm sorry, but the idea of kirk and spock's relationship having homoerotic undertones is not some fringe tumblr headcanon - it has been acknowledged and explored by literal cast members, writers, and even gene roddenberry himself. the term "slash" in fanfiction comes from kirk/spock stories, for crying out loud. this is not new!

and yet we have people in that reddit thread acting like the mere suggestion of a queer spock is some sort of sacrilegious retcon that would ruin the character forever. as if spock's entire 50+ year history would be erased if he so much as looked at a man with anything other than heterosexual brotherhood.

it's just so frustrating and disheartening to see this level of knee-jerk dismissal and erasure, especially in a fandom that prides itself on being progressive and imaginative. like, we can envision a future with warp drives and aliens and literal magic space gods, but a queer vulcan is a bridge too far? okay then.

and the thing is, no one is even saying that spock is definitively, unquestionably gay, or that every single iteration of his character needs to be explicitly queer. all we're saying is that there is room for that interpretation, and that queer stories have just as much right to be told as any others. but apparently even that is too much for some folks.

it's a reminder that even in supposedly "enlightened" geeky spaces, homophobia and heteronormativity are still alive and well. and it's exhausting, honestly. as a queer trekkie, i'm just so tired of having to constantly justify my existence and fight for scraps of representation.

you know what, i'm gonna say it: the erasure and denial of spock's queer subtext, and specifically the spirk ship, is not just frustrating - it's straight up homophobic.

like, let's look at the facts here. kirk and spock's relationship has been coded as romantic and even erotic since literally the beginning of the franchise. the term "t'hy'la", which has been used to describe their bond, translates to "friend, brother, lover" in vulcan. that's not subtext, that's just... text.

and the evidence just keeps piling up from there. the way spock is the only person who can pull kirk out of his darkest moments, the way they constantly risk their lives and careers for each other, the "this simple feeling" speech in the motion picture... like, come on. even the kelvin timeline movies had scenes of them practically eye-fucking on the bridge.

and don't even get me started on the plethora of literary references that heavily code their relationship as queer. kirk and spock's dynamic has been compared to achilles and patroclus, gilgamesh and enkidu, alexander the great and hephaestion... all classic examples of homoerotic male partnerships. the iconic back-to-back pose from the episode "bread and circuses" is a direct visual reference to the novel "ishmael" by barbara hambly, which depicts a gay romance between two men. (as somebody pointed out; this is not accurate and since i was hazed asf (meds) when i wrote this, can’t remember what literary parallel i was actually trying to draw here. let me dig through my stash of gay literature history and i’ll address this 😭☝️).

these are not coincidences or fan delusions - they are deliberate, well-documented artistic choices layered into the very foundation of kirk and spock's relationship. and the fact that so many people are eager to ignore or downplay them in order to cling to a heteronormative fantasy of male friendship is honestly pretty telling.

and look, i get it. it's easy to claim "they were just best friends" because that's what we've been culturally conditioned to see as the default. but the reality is, intimate male relationships have been historically desexualized and stripped of romantic coding in order to maintain heterosexual norms. the achilles/patroclus model of male love used to be widely understood as having a romantic and even sexual element - it was only in the 19th and 20th centuries that it was aggressively reframed as "platonic friendship" in a textbook example of straightwashing.

so when people insist that kirk and spock's bond could never be anything other than a sexless bromance, they are literally upholding centuries of homophobic revisionism designed to erase queer love from our cultural narratives. and i'm sorry, but that's not something i can get behind as a queer fan.

you cannot look at the overwhelming evidence of kirk and spock's queer subtext, the decades of analysis exploring their relationship through a romantic lens, the undeniable impact and influence of queer interpretations on the very fabric of this fandom... and tell me with a straight face that it's all meaningless or invalid.

kirk/spock walked so that every other slash pairing could run. it is the ur-text of queer shipping in modern fandom. and while it may have started as subtext, it has long since transcended those limitations to become an integral part of star trek's cultural legacy.

but at the end of the day, i know that fandom will always be what we make of it. no amount of downvotes or closed-minded rhetoric can change the fact that queer interpretations of spock have been part of his story since day one, and will continue to be so long as there are lgbtq+ fans who see ourselves in him.

so to my fellow queer trekkies: keep boldly going, keep reading the subtext, keep telling our stories. they can call it illogical all they want - we know the truth. and as a wise vulcan once said: "there's no point in denying the facts of one's nature." 🖖🏳️‍🌈