#especially if you don't have health insurance
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Sending you lots of cheers Lix! They're a pain, but you can overcome this, trust 🤝✨ (this global "trend" in the job market of not getting responses from job apps sucks so hard tho :/ had this problem with job apps 2-3 years ago too, looks like it's just getting worse)
Thanks love 🥹🥹💜🫂🫂The lack of response is honestly very discouraging making me doubt myself a lot, so I hope I will get at least some kind of indicator soon.
I would focus on nicer things during the wait but then I feel guilty about not applying to more places which makes the situation even more draining. I think that's probably why I currently don't have the spoons to do anything creatively (be it writing or art) cause it takes to much energy. I mostly spend my time rereading my fav naruto fanfics so there's at least some distraction. Though I gotta say I miss writing... Maybe I should try to cook something up for the guide cause that's easier than causality 🤔We will see if the brainworms will offer me some inspiration 🫡
#ask answered#thanks for checking in ein#being an adult is so hard#especially when you have nothing figured out yet#being in that in between state is such a major pain#i will need to call up my health insurance next week and discuss what to do#hand in my voting thing#and maybe do a trial run in the lab of the hospital my mum works at#like i would take the job if they accept me but tbh i don't wanna do shiftwork#it would only be a temporary thing#ugh someone release me from this hell
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you know you're in deep in top gun special interest when you're doing quizzes to find out if Carole would be eligible for medicare and tricare. And you're british, so don't have to deal with healthcare
#she doesn't qualify for medicare if you wanted to know#for the fic i'm writing she's 30#and pays taxes#and isn't disabled#so doesn't qualify for medicare#but does qualify for tricare#which is military health insurance which does cover retirees and dead servicemembers#so covers widows/widowers and their families#but also so happy i don't have to deal with this as a brit#especially as a brit who works in a pharmacy#carole bradshaw#top gun#nick goose bradshaw
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tips for runaways of abusive families
from one who did that
note: this assumes you are 18+ or will be 18+ upon escaping, and also american, sorry
BEFORE YOU LEAVE:
get your insurance information, ESPECIALLY YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE. you can use it until you're 26
have your ssn memorized
make sure you have a decent amount of money saved up, dependent on your situation
have your method of transportation figured out beforehand. are you leaving the city? state? general area? country? get it planned out
if you are planning on taking your pet with you, make sure you have food stocked up with you and bottles of water. i would also reccomend bringing a 1ml kids syringe if you have the type of pet that will stop eating/drinking in stress situations. also bring a form of cover like an extra shirt or towel if it is an easily stressed pet. also make sure you have a carrier, and if you're going on a plane, make sure it is up to the standard of your plane, as well as making s ure your type of pet is allowed on the plane, especially if its an "exotic" pet, aka anything thats not a cat or dog
i also may recommend stocking up some food but depending on your situation this may not be needed
stock up on any medications you may have/need
don't give your family any form of information they could use to track you down in the future, especially if theyre the crazier types
make sure to change your passwords on any technology you may be leaving form and log out completely on them. make sure you have no files they could use to find you
DURING:
leave at a time where you're 100% sure nobody will catch you. if you have a family member that comes home late from work, know when they'll be back and asleep
turn off ANY location services you have after you're already away from the house, even if it alarms them. you don't want them to figire out where you are
wear a jacket with pockets, especially deep ones
make sure you have your wallet, forms of id, etc
get ready to run as fast as you can
if you're leaving the state, especially via plane, DO NOT IMMEDIATLY GO TO THE AIRPORT, THEY WILL CHECK THERE FIRST! go to a hotel and spend 1-3 days there while they exhaust their time and figure you already left. THEN you can go
stay calm while you're in the process of leaving. the moment you hit the air, they legally can't do anything
keep any critter you have calm, especially if they can suffer health problems from stress
have your hotels booked in advance
AFTER:
dont give your family your address if they try to talk to you
if you can really, cut them off entirely. chances are theyre not gonna change
get an air mattress as soon as you can, we used doordash for one
figure out how you will be paying finances. if you're living with someone, great, if not, you may have to post donation posts on social media until you can get a job
be happy you escaped, good job! most people won't be able to do this so im proud you were
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How it's going as a trans person in Florida: Planned Parenthood, 26Health, and Spektrum Health have announced they have paused all gender affirming care.
To recap, DeSantis signed several anti-trans bills into law this week. Care is banned for minors, care is all but banned for adults, Don't Say Gay has been extended, children can be kidnapped from affirming parents by non-affirming family, and there is a bathroom bill that subjects trans folks to arrest for using government owned facilities, such as those in courthouses, airports, many stadiums and parks.
The adult effective ban was felt immediately. The main elements are:
signing at every visit an in-person informed consent form created by the state
all care come from physicians instead of nurse practitioners
no telemed for gender-affirming care
Currently, it is unknown if existing HRT prescriptions written by NPs will be honored by pharmacies. I personally know one person who was able to pick up testosterone yesterday, but I have also read many reports of folks being denied. I myself don't have a refill ready for another 10 days and will report back after I try my own pickup.
What's additionally dangerous is those of us, myself included, who get non-HRT prescriptions from our gender clinics now face the uncertainty of continuing of *all* of our medical care. Our health clinics are at risk of shuttering permanently as they lose major income, and many of us will lose STD meds, depression meds, heart meds, etc, etc.
When we say "this will kill us," it goes beyond suicide risk from forced detransition.
"But you can still get HRT from a physician."
So many suck or are outright hostile and the demand outstrips the supply. Before I found my NP-run clinic, one physician just decided to not call in my Rx, another was so shit at reading lab results, he thought I had hepatitis, and the third I had to threaten to kick in the teeth for trying to force too large a speculum in me.
Also, the state-required consent form has not been finalized and distributed yet, so at this point, everything has pretty much ground to a halt.
It was estimated that 80% of trans adults would lose their healthcare because of how many use providers like Planned Parenthood, but the impact seems even greater now.
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"You can get your non-gender care elsewhere still."
DeSantis recently signed a bill that allows healthcare professionals to discriminate against trans people.
Sure, we can try to find care elsewhere, but it will be a slow and expensive process, with no guarantees. It took me over 20 years to get my heart condition treated because of transphobic doctors.
What can I do as a trans Floridian?
Stay in communication with your clinic - many are working on getting physicians added to the roster to prescribe HRT. Lawsuits are being filed and it's possible the changes to adult care can be rolled back.
Continue to try to pick up your meds, but begin looking for care elsewhere, though. Inside and outside the state.
Remember that while telemed for gender affirming care has been banned, you can still cross state lines for care. See Erin's map of informed consent clinics.
Many people will turn to DIY, but be sure you are aware of the risks here, especially if on testosterone, which is a controlled substance.
What should I be worried about next as a trans Floridian?
I worry about the following next steps towards genocide:
Banning getting care out of state. This is from the anti-abortion playbook. They will likely start with kids again, but we've seen how quickly adult care gets axed.
Being declared mentally incompetent or a risk in some way. This could be anything from being barred from gun ownership to not being allowed to work for the government.
Being declared a de facto predator. This has already happened with the latest bathroom law (cis people can eject trans people from government owned single-gender facilities, with arrest as a penalty), so watch out for it being applied to privately-owned facilities. Watch for discussions of official lists of trans people.
Gender presentation enforcement laws, essentially banning "cross dressing". Laws that block or rollback documentation changes.
These all have historic precedence and are huge "I'm in danger" red flags.
What can I do as a cis person?
Amplify all this news. Talk frankly about how this is genocide. And donate what you can to trans mutual aid campaigns so people can travel to get healthcare or even leave the state.
Here's some articles to get started on building awareness:
Take care, everyone, of yourself and each other.
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The Perfect Gift of Appreciation
[Rudy Cooper (technically) x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Being severely injured with zero money to back up your bills, you decide to take an emergency visit to the only doctor you personally know.
WC: 2897
Category: Hurt/Comfort, Slight Fluff,
A lot of you actually liked my Brian fic (love y’all), so I wanted to make another for you guys. I’m sad that there’s still none 😔😔
『••✎••』
He was absolutely pissed. Granted, he didn’t actually tell you, but the way his face fell into utter disappointment when he finally answered his door was all the information you needed. You couldn’t help but frown, your hand moving to cover your poorly bandaged arm as you watched him.
It made sense; the man had just come home from his shift, and his outfit was still intact with his suit and lab coat, with exhaustion weighing on his eyes. The man looked downright miserable, and with you looking like a wet rat from the rain and the blood seeping from your wound, he couldn't imagine a less welcome sight.
You both just stood there staring at one another, the rain pounding against the umbrella over your head. The wind was picking up, and you knew it was going to storm harder. You really couldn’t stand the look he was giving you.
"Hey, Rudy," You managed out, swallowing hard as the pain began to seep into your voice. You endured quite a lot to get here, and you weren’t about to let your pride show now.
The man before you let out a tired sigh, leaning against the doorframe as he closed his eyes.
"You do realize what time it is, don't you?" He questioned the usual cheerfulness of his voice, which was replaced with annoyance. It hurt a bit to hear, but you didn't blame him. It’s quite rude to show up unannounced, and it was even worse considering you showed up after 2 am.
Your eyes averted downwards, feeling ashamed for even showing up here. The last thing you wanted was to bother him, especially at a time like this.
Yet, you couldn’t go anywhere else. Money wasn’t quite flowing well in your area, and it was bad enough to where you had no insurance. You were a simple college student, working odd jobs here and there while balancing school and the like.
The job you had recently obtained was a janitor position for a nearby grocery store, and things seemed pretty good for a bit. It was not enough to pay those outrageous health bills, but it was getting you by.
"I need a favor... I know it's not exactly the best time to be asking, but please, just listen—" You began, the words spilling out of your mouth just as you’ve rehearsed them a million times.
Before you could continue, Rudy opened his eyes and looked down at you with a small frown. He already noticed the way you held your arm and the way you kept glancing at it. He knew what this was about; he knew the moment he opened the door and saw the desperation in your eyes.
Your name fell from his lips, drained and tired as he rubbed his forehead. He was silent for a bit, just as you were, and when he finally looked back up, his frown grew deeper.
"You seriously can’t afford to get simple treatment? How do you even know if I have the right supplies to fix something like this up, huh?"
You didn’t reply, merely biting down on your lip as you looked away. It was true, you weren't sure. Yet, Rudy had always been so kind to you, always willing to offer his help and support when you needed it.
The man sighed, closing his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair. He couldn’t believe he was doing this; he had to wake up in a few hours, and now he had to deal with this.
The only thing keeping him from saying no was the look you gave him.
You weren’t one to beg or ask for help. You usually dealt with things on your own, and when you couldn’t, you were willing to work it off. He admired that about you, how you weren't the type to depend on others.
The fact that you were even here, soaked to the bone and asking for his help, proved to him just how serious the situation was.
You had no other choice, and he knew that.
So, without a word, Rudy stepped aside and gestured for you to enter. The relief was immediate, and before he could blink, you were inside, the sound of the rain slowly fading behind you.
The warmth of his home was a great contrast from the outside, and you couldn’t help but sigh contently as he threw his coat off and led you down the hall.
His duffel was still beside the couch, a sign that he had just returned moments before. Somehow, it made you feel worse, knowing that you interrupted his much-needed rest.
You followed Rudy through the living room, landing in the kitchen where the door to his basement was. You were about to follow him downwards, side-stepping past him, but a hand slammed against the doorframe just before you could.
Startled, you looked up at Rudy, a brow raised at the sudden stop. He was staring at you, his expression unreadable, and it made you grow uncomfortable.
"Stay here. I’ll be up in a minute, okay?" His voice changed slightly, sounding far more awake than before.
"Can’t you just do it down there? I mean, that’s where all your stuff is, right?"
Why go through all the trouble of bringing everything upstairs?
He shook his head, his lips pulling into a tight line. It looked like he was thinking something over, and when he finally spoke, he seemed hesitant.
"Just trust me, okay? Just wait here. I promise I won't be long."
You frowned, wanting to question him, but Rudy was already moving down the stairs. The door shut behind him, and the next thing you knew, you were left alone in the kitchen.
Confused, you couldn't help but stare at the door.
Why didn’t he want you down there? That was pretty odd behavior for someone who loved to brag about his work. You couldn’t recall a time when Rudy wasn’t so open about what he did.
So why the sudden change?
You didn’t want to question it, and instead, you hummed and sat down in the chair. You could hear his footsteps echo downstairs, and you waited patiently for him to return.
The sound of the basement door opening was almost instant, and when Rudy entered, you noticed the big medical box in his arms. You couldn’t help but watch the man walk around his kitchen, his movements slow and calculated as he made his way over to you.
Rudy placed the box onto the table, popped it open, and began to pull out the gloves, rubbing alcohol, and gauze. The man grabbed a chair and pulled it across from you, and as he did, he glanced up at you and smiled.
Your mind, however, was still elsewhere.
"Hiding a body down there, or something? You were taking forever, know..." You mumbled, your gaze shifting from the box to Rudy.
He chortled at the comment, glancing up momentarily to give you a small smile before resuming his task of pulling out the medical supplies.
He didn’t say anything other than the comments about your wound. How’d you get it? If it hurt, how long ago did it happen…
You know, the typical doctor questions.
Rudy took your arm in his, his hold gentle as he carefully removed the cloth that was once your makeshift bandage. You winced, hissing as the material peeled away some of the dried blood, and it caused Rudy to glance up at you apologetically.
As the cloth finally came off, Rudy didn’t make any type of comment. He didn't react to the deep cut on your arm other than the occasional flicker of his eyes. To you, it was absolutely jarring. It looked so much worse than you expected, and you couldn’t help but glance away as the man poured the alcohol onto the gauze.
He must’ve been used to this kind of thing, considering he didn’t so much as bat an eye.
The alcohol felt cold against your skin, and you bit your tongue to prevent the pain from escaping. Rudy didn't say a word as he cleaned up the wound, and you took the time to glance at the man.
Rudy was focused, his eyes narrowed as he concentrated on your wound. He was careful but quick, and his actions were precise and methodical. The way he moved was almost fascinating, and before you knew it, he was done with that part.
Rudy tossed the now bloodied gauze into the trash can that was temporarily beside the table and then reached for the next item.
The numbing shot.
The man paused, his gaze lifting from the supplies and up to your face. Rudy, the sweet and caring guy, had a very different face whenever he worked. He had his usual soft and comforting smile, but the way he constantly looked at your arm was so… cold.
He almost looked bored.
You blinked, and suddenly, he was staring at you, his brows raised.
You stared, unable to find the words, but the moment he spoke, the spell was broken.
Rudy gave you a sheepish smile, gesturing the shot in his hands. He warned you about the small prickle, gesturing to the shot in his hands, the prickle that’s never just a prick of the skin. It’s always quite painful.
The needle was tiny, but the feeling of the sensation entering your body was enough to make you grit your teeth. You felt your face grow warm, the embarrassment washing over you as the pain became a dull ache.
It didn't last long, and soon Rudy was shaking it around, supposedly making the numbing effect act faster.
Then, the waiting game. He told you around five to ten minutes, depending on your tolerance, and that's how you both ended up sitting across from one another in silence.
Rudy was tapping his fingers against the table, the only sound filling the air. You couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes, the way his shoulders sagged, and the occasional yawn that escaped him.
"I’m sorry," You said, finally breaking the silence. His facial expression didn’t help you feel better, the frown on his lips growing deeper as he shook his head.
"Don’t be sorry." He mumbled, his eyes closing briefly as he inhaled sharply. "Truth be told, I actually despise apologies. And it's not like you did this to yourself on purpose, anyways…"
That was true, you supposed. Still, the guilt wouldn't leave you alone.
When the man didn’t receive a reply, Rudy looked at you with a tired smile. His hands moved over the medical box, and with a slight push, it was out of the way and no longer between you.
Rudy then leaned forward, placing his elbows against the table, and folded his hands beneath his chin.
"You know, I miss this."
You blinked, tilting your head at him as a soft smile formed on your lips. "Me being clumsy and annoying?"
He chuckled, a sound that brought warmth to your heart, and the exhaustion was temporarily forgotten.
Rudy shook his head, and as he did, his smile faded and was replaced with something a little more sad. "Skin. The human body. Blood. The life force. I just miss it, I guess... I love what I do, don't get me wrong, but it can be a little boring at times.. It gets repetitive. The smiles are nice, the gratitude of those I treat, but sometimes I can't help but think about other things. More exciting things, y'know?"
"Suturing my arm is exciting to you? That's pretty weird, Rudy, and that's coming from me…"
You were only half-joking, and Rudy was aware. The man was silent for a moment, his gaze averted as his smile slowly returned.
A soft chuckle left him, and he leaned back against the chair, crossing his arms against his chest.
His eyes closed, and the smile on his face grew.
It wasn’t a sad smile, nor was it happy. It was a smile that said many things but nothing at all.
When his eyes finally opened, they were different. The smile was gone, and so was the warmth in his expression.
The smile he wore now was a familiar one, and the glint in his eyes was one you knew too well.
The box was moved back in front of him, and with a swift movement, the scissors and tweezers were in his hands.
Then, the conversation was over, and so was the waiting period. He did check to see if it was numb, but the moment you confirmed that it was, he went right back to work.
It was silent for the most part; you felt no pain, and Rudy was careful as he did his job. It was going by rather quickly, and with the silence that fell between the two of you, you couldn’t help but look down at your arm.
He was already halfway done. The numbing was working like a charm, and with how quickly Rudy was going, it was almost like a superpower. For a man not in his element, he seemed like he was pretty damn well in his element.
Maybe he did have a body hidden downstairs. Give him some practice.
Rudy stopped for a moment, the sudden pause causing you to lift your gaze and look at him. He was holding a new needle in his hand, a black string-like material in the other.
He was staring at your arm, the concentration on his face strong as he held the items up. It was a rather odd sight, and you couldn't help but lean closer to get a better look.
Rudy blinked, his focus snapping up at you, and he gave you a lopsided grin.
You watched him for a moment, the man simply staring back at you with the same grin, and after a moment of silence, he put the tools down.
"And, presto." He said, his grin widening, and before you knew it, he was packing up the box.
Damn, that was fast.
He wrapped the wound in an actual bandage, moving at the speed of light, and before you could even comprehend what was happening, Rudy was already finished.
The man got up, stretching out his back as he did, and he glanced down at you with a soft smile.
"I don’t keep any antibiotics around here, but a simple store trip can fix that. You don’t need anything fancy, just a simple infection control, and you should be good to go. It doesn't seem to be too bad, and if it gets any worse, then we can look into that later... at the ER."
"Right." You mumbled, not having the energy to protest. The sarcasm, the jokes, the humor... everything was gone. You were drained, and now that the whole ordeal was over, you felt yourself slouching against the chair.
You looked up at Rudy, and before you could speak, he was already talking.
"Don’t worry about it. I’ll drop you home tomorrow morning before I go in. I’m seconds away from passing out, and you look like you're about to fall over."
You nodded, a silent thank you falling from your lips. Rudy gave you a nod in response and then gestured towards the hallway.
It wasn’t too long after that you found yourself walking down the hallway with a spare pillow and blanket. The guest bedroom was empty, and when you entered, the lights were off.
You didn’t question it, and instead, you set the pillow and blanket on the bed and made yourself comfortable. He said he used this room a lot, but somehow, it looked so untouched. It wasn’t dusty, but the way the room was set up proved that it wasn't often used.
Still, you were far too exhausted to give it a second thought.
Rudy walked past the doorway, a pair of keys in his hands as he waved them around. You heard him mention something about locking up and going to sleep, and after he left, the hall was silent.
And then, after a few minutes, the house was silent.
As you lay there, a wave of exhaustion washed over you. Your arm was still numb, and you felt nothing as you gently placed your hand against the bandage.
There was no pain, no nothing. It was just ugly, and yet you were grateful.
You didn’t even know Rudy for that long. A mutual friend introduced you to one another, and ever since then, it has been a whirlwind of events.
Especially due to your overbearing clumsiness.
But tonight? What a true blessing.
You couldn’t thank him enough. Maybe you could make him breakfast in the morning. That sounded like a decent enough gift.
Unless you happened to break his kitchen or yourself, you’d have to see how things played out.
And with that, you rolled over, your eyes slowly drifting shut.
You were out within a minute. And fortunately for Rudy, so were his neighbors.
It was a rather quiet night, after all, and with his soundproof walls, no one could hear a thing.
Even with the preparation for the next present for his precious Ken, the perfect gift of appreciation, no one could hear the sounds of his true work.
Well, no one except you.
[@ghostheartbeat, @numetalnerd2007] Here’s your tag, besties! Go wild! ☺️☺️
I hope you guys liked the "realistic" approach I took here lmao. I felt really devious about this plot 😈
#brian moser#brian moser x reader#brian moser/reader#brian moser x female!reader#rudy cooper#rudy cooper x reader#rudy cooper x female!reader#rudy cooper/reader#fanfic#x reader#fanfiction#reader#dexter#dexter morgan x reader#dexter x reader#dexter fandom#ice truck killer#ice truck killer x reader#dexter morgan imagine#rudy cooper imagine#brian moser imagine#dexter imagine#dexter fanfiction#dexter tv#dexter tv series#fluff#hurt/comfort#slasher fic#slasher fandom#slasher
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Writing and drawing amputee characters: Not every amputee wears prosthetics (and that's ok)
Not every amputee wears prosthetics, and not doing so is not a sign that they've "given up".
It's a bit of a trope that I've noticed that when an amputee, leg amputees in particular, don't wear prosthetics in media its often used as a sign that they've given up hope/stopped trying/ are depressed etc. If/when they start feeling better, they'll start wearing their prosthetics again, usually accompanied by triumphant or inspiring music (if it's a movie). The most famous example of this is in Forest Gump, Where Dan spends most of the movie after loosing his legs wishing he'd died instead. He does eventually come around, and him finally moving from his wheelchair to prosthetics is meant to highlight this.
The thing is, it's not that it's unrealistic - in fact my last major mental health spiral was started because one of my prosthetics was being a shit and wouldn't go on properly, despite fitting perfectly at the prosthetist's the day before. I'm not going to use my legs when I'm not in a good headspace, but the problem is, this is the only time non-prosthetic using amputees ever get representation: to show how sad they are. Even if that's not what the creator/writer necessarily intended, audiences will often make that assumption on their own unless you're very careful and intentional about how you frame it, because it's what existing media has taught them to expect.
But there are lots of reasons why someone might not use prosthetics:
they might not need them: this is more common in arm amputees because of how difficult it can be to use arm prosthetic, especially above-elbow prosthetics. Most folks learn how to get on without them pretty well. In fact, most of the arm amputees I know don't have prosthetics, or only have them for specific tasks (e.g. I knew a girl who had a prosthetic hand made specifically for rowing, but that's all she used it for).
Other mobility aids just work better for them: for me, I'm faster, more manoeuvrable and can be out for longer when I'm in my wheelchair than I ever could on my prosthetics. Youtube/tik tok creator Josh Sundquist has said the same thing about his crutches, he just feels better using them than his prosthetic. This isn't the case for everyone of course, but it is for some of us. Especially people with above-knee prosthetics, in my experience.
Other disabilities make them harder to use: Some people are unable to use prosthetics due to other disabilities, or even other amputations. Yeah, as it turns out, a lot of prosthetics are only really designed for single-limb amputees. While they're usable for multi-limb amps, they're much harder to use or they might not be able to access every feature. For example, the prosthetic knee I have has the ability to monitor the walk cycle of the other leg and match it as close as possible - but that only works if you have a full leg on the other side. Likewise, my nan didn't like using her prosthetic, as she had limited movement in her shoulders that meant she physically couldn't move her arms in the right way to get her leg on without help.
Prosthetics are expensive in some parts of the world: not everyone can afford a prosthetic. My left prosthetic costs around $5,000 Australian dollars, but my right one (the above knee) cost $125,000AUD. It's the most expensive thing I own that I only got because my country pays for medical equipment for disabled folks. Some places subsidise the cost, but paying 10% of $125,000 is still $12,500. Then in some places, if you don't have insurance, you have to pay for that all by yourself. Even with insurance you still have to pay some of it depending on your cover. Arm prosthetics are even more expensive. Sure, both arms and legs do have cheaper options available, but they're often extremely difficult to use. You get what you pay for.
they aren't suitable for every type of environment: Prosthetics can be finicky and modern ones can be kind of sensitive to the elements. My home town was in a coastal lowland - this means lots of beaches and lots of swamp filled with salty/brackish water. The metals used in prosthetics don't hold up well in those conditions, and so they would rust quicker, I needed to clean them more, I needed to empty sand out of my foot ALL THE TIME (there always seemed to be more. It was like a bag of holding but it was just sand). Some prosthetics can't get wet at all. There were a few amputees who moved to the area when I was older who just didn't bother lol. It wasn't worth the extra effort needed for the maintenance.
People have allergies to the prosthetic material: This is less of a problem in the modern day, but some people are allergic to the materials their prosthetics are made from. You can usually find an alternative but depending on the type of allergy, some people are allergic to the replacements too.
Some people just don't like them.
There's nothing wrong with choosing to go without a prosthetic. There's nothing wrong with deciding they aren't for you. It doesn't make you a failure or sad or anything else. Using or not using prosthetics is a completely morally neutral thing.
Please, if you're writing amputees, consider if a prosthetic really is the best mobility aid for your character and consider having your characters go without, or at least mix it up a bit.
For example, Xari, one of the main characters in my comic, uses prosthetics unsupported and with crutches, and uses a wheelchair. They alternate between them throughout the story.
#disability#disabled#id in alt text#writing#writing disability#disability representation#authors of tumblr#write#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writer#creative writing#writing tips#writing resources#writing help#writing advice#writing disability with cy cyborg
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With 2025 around the corner I'm going to make a much needed message.
NO ONE EXPECTS PERFECTION FROM YOU
And more importantly
NO ONE SHOULD EXPECT PERFECTION FROM YOU
Typos? Fine. Taking a long time to reply? Fine. Sporadic activity? Fine. Lack of aesthetics? Fine. Iconless? Fine. Literally do what ever the fuck you want, this is tumblr roleplay anyone that expects professional level shakesspear writing 24/7 or even amazing out of this world writing to begin with IS STUPID
Sure a lot of us put a lot of effort into our writing, blog aesthetics, art, and headcanons but that's because this a hobby we all feel very passionate about. We do it for the sake of it, we should only do it for the sake of it, this is not a boring office job where we HAVE to make certain quotas, where we do this because we literally need money to function as an adult, this is a creative field we all enjoy and should be having fun in
If someone comes over demanding perfect grammar, instant replies no matter what time of day or year it is, graphics 99% of ppl don't have the skill for, or what the fuck ever they can pay me and provide me with fucking life insurance, I have a real boss I get enough of I don't need another one. If people are going to make demands they are not good rp partners, cause I'll say it right now.
I value a mutuals mental health and well being far more than any silly rp thread
Need a 1000x years to type up a response? Go for it. Wanna drop a thread altogether? Fine. Wanna restart all our muses relationship? Perfectly fine. Wanna go low effort with no icons or fancy aesthetic shit? DO IT. Wanna make a bunch of headcanon posts and not rp? Love it you're doing great sweetie. Wanna just have your muse be silly and with no serious overarching plot? By all means have fun
Forcing my mutuals to pump out endless content like their Disney writers who don't get work break is not only not cool, but stupid. Especially when they'll be better writers and partners over all if they are given time to breath, relax and simply vibe. If I wanted mindless slop with no heart put into it I'd go chat up an AI bot or something
You do not need to be perfect, no one needs to be held to such an impossible standard. Especially when it comes to something as diverse as simply writing. You're doing great. Do what you need, but more importantly just do what you want. Do not cater to anyone.
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Any tips on saving money?
Track your income/expenses. Knowing your monthly cash flow + essential and discretionary spending is the only sound starting point toward setting your financial goals.
Evaluate your non-essential spending habits. Consider where this money is going, and whether these expenses add value/are necessary to your life (pleasure or peace of mind is an acceptable "necessity" if you're living within your means to be clear!).
Determine the money you have left over after you cover your essential expenses and most fulfill discretionary expenses. This amount is your "saving/investment" money.
Divide your leftover amount into 3 categories: Emergency fund, goal-oriented savings (like buying a desired luxury item/furniture, a down payment on a house, a vacation, etc.), and investments.
Put your savings in a high-yield savings account. If possible, have different accounts for each purpose, especially your emergency fund and savings for future purposes. You can also get a CD for a long-term savings goal.
Put your investments (in the USA at least) in the following buckets: Roth IRA (max it out), ALWAYS take your employer's full 401k match, HSA (if you have a high-deductible health insurance plan), and S&P 500 index funds/other evergreen mutual funds + blue-chip stocks.
Purchase fewer, higher-quality items. Know the sales seasons for each product category and shop around this calendar (down to the produce items in season). If possible, rent items when it makes sense.
Only say "yes" to plans/financial obligations that add value/pleasure to your life. Don't let yourself feel shortchanged financially or emotionally. It's never worth it, honestly.
Invest in your physical, mental, and financial health first. This can mean something different for everyone but it's important!
**I'm not a professional, just another young woman on the internet, so please take this advice accordingly. Please meet with a financial advisor/CPA for formal advice and personal financial planning.
Hope this helps xx
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automattic vs wp engine mastterpost
adrienne's GitHub recap is probably the best place to see a comprehensive timeline of what's going down. it's been kept up to date. my (very out of date) previous writeup is here.
what's happened/other links
Matt has not logged off, just switched platforms, so there's lots on X/Twitter, Reddit, and Hacker News. it's really not worth wading through.
WP Engine actually filed suit.
the complaint includes some truly remarkable screenshots of Matt trying to blackmail the CEO of WP Engine.
which... personally i would not happily work for someone who just blackmailed me while not even my boss, but that's just me. he hasn't denied this at all, in fact confirming on Hacker News:
I haven't doxxed any private texts from other parties like they have. [source]
and, notably,
I even invited her to my 40th birthday on Jan 11, another text message she decided not to share. [source]
this gives me the creeps. in the context of the rest of the way he's talking to her, and the ways in which he's interacted with women in general, it's. not great.
also he slid into an ex-employee (also a woman)'s DMs asking why she was being mean to him bc he'd never been nothing but nice to her, while also making legal threats. so y'know, pattern of behaviour.
a good writeup of the social side of things
if you don't care so much about the open-source stuff, Steph Lundberg's writeup is, like her previous one on Matt's Tumblr meltdown, pretty solid and people-focused.
Mullenweg has already demonstrated egregious lapses in judgment and abuses of power, it’s just that up until now he’s wielded his power against vulnerable populations without access to high-powered lawyers and their own massive platforms.
a more technical writeup
this one is melodramatic in the same ways Matt was (uses war terminology), which i don't agree with, and which led to some... internal arguments at Automattic. that part's not my story to tell, but a little more on that later. it's a solid writeup of the actual WordPress side of things. there's some seriously dodgy trademark behaviour going on here.
of note: this blogger locked comments on his post:
and then Matt, uh, found a way around that:
wild!
10% of Automattic leaves
that's a link to Matt's blog post. here's an Internet Archive link.
in short, staff were offered a severance deal of the higher of $30k or six months' salary. while that's very generous, it's still very risky in today's tech market, especially (for the same reasons i mentioned when Matt was melting down on here) for people outside the US, people who need the health insurance, or people with young kids. despite that, 10% decided with very little notice (they had two days to decide) to leave.
However now, I feel much lighter. I’m grateful and thankful for all the people who took the offer, and even more excited to work with those who turned down $126M to stay. As the kids say, LFG!
i'm thrilled to see some of my ex-colleagues make it out. i'm keeping the rest who have stayed on in my thoughts. i don't know anyone who's wholesale shilling for Matt.
Matt's been pressuring staff to post in support of him, @-ing the entire company to vote on Twitter polls in his favor, and so on. many of the people who stayed have written blog posts about it, all starting with "I stayed". people on social media have pointed out the very clear pattern of Automatticians jumping into discourse to defend Matt, and it doesn't look good.
i don't have a lot to say about those posts, except to highlight Jeffrey Zeldman, whose "I stayed" post is perhaps one of the more honest ones. (his Rodney King reference was in poor taste, and he... i don't like his role at automattic, tbc) but like. he's nearly 70. he helped shape the modern internet and develop its accessibility standards. he has often put his neck on the line for disabled staff who don't have as much clout as he does. given the financial troubles he talks about and the state of this market and how old he is, i personally have read between the lines of what he's saying in a particular way.
fuck, man. i'm sad. i'm sad for all my friends who are creaking under the strain and watching others leave but who can't do that. i'm sad that many of them are left in teams which are half-empty or divisions where significant senior leadership are just gone, with no time to document what they had in progress.
i'm sad for Josepha Haden Chomphosy, the former executive director of the WordPress Foundation, who was dealing with a personal emergency and ended up having to miss WordCamp US (where Matt started publicly starting shit with WPE). she came back from that to a gigantic fire in the community she's invested a decade of careful, Matt-negotiating, stewardship to, and decided to take the severance offer. she deserved better.
other things Matt's been up to
mostly linking to comments or posts which compile things here, bc it's too scattered otherwise.
blocking people from the official WordPress X account if they disapprove of his actions.
publicly talking about a vulnerability in ACF, a plugin WPE maintains, which could put thousands of sites at risk. this is not normal, and he met with so much horror even from current staff that he deleted his post.
saying he comes across badly because he's "a little ASD", which is driving me personally up the fucking wall. he's never once said it before and he really is turning into Temu Elon.
generally bragging that he still has more planned. jesus fucking christ
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continually saying that WPE's suit is against WordPress.org and the community, which is not true. on which note, his pinned tweet is certainly something:
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his choice of lawyer is uh. the kind of guy to defend nestle against literal child slaves.
as always, while i think WordPress crumbling will disproportionately affect websites in poorer parts of the world, there are certainly tyrants who are causing much more immediate and potent suffering. if you've read this far, please do send anything you have spare to gazafunds.com.
#long post#automattic#tumblr meta#this is not a complete writeup. adrienne's link does better#but here's a few things of interest to tumblr probably ig#tony muses
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Can I have some insane FIREy money saving tips pls?
I am so sorry but it is a common misconception of FIRE to think that it's about saving (and especially about ridiculous degrees of purtianical cost-cutting and self-denial). The reason that Mr Money Mustache was able to retire at 30 was because he was making early 2000's tech industry money that he could live on so easily he put fully 50% of his income into a retirement account. He did spend a lot less than his professional peers by not leasing ridiculously expensive cars, living in a modestly sized home in a cheap and walkable area, and not engaging in the rampant lifestyle inflation that is typical for that industry, but half of his advice (like "dont buy professional cleaning products, just use vinegar" and "don't get health insurance just be active") either wouldn't amount to a drop in the bucket for the average person, or isn't feasible unless you're super privileged and lucky.
now all that SAID, there are useful lessons to be gleaned from the r/leanfire world that apply to more people's situations. The biggest determinants of a person's ability to save are their housing and transportation; the most effective ways to cut one's expenses are to move to a far cheaper area (or into a cheaper housing situation, such as with roommates or van life or something), and to stop driving and instead use a bike or public transit. that CAN make a huge difference of anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars a month. anything else you can do to reduce spending on beyond that is less substantial and less controllable, but there are things one can do -- things you have probably thought of, like ending subscription payments (just pirate all your media), cooking at home, and not throwing money away on expenses that are hefty but highly socially normalized (if you're in a subculture where it is common to fly across the country for lots of friends' weddings and spend lots of money on their gifts, for example, eschewing that).
The majority of people interested in FIRE here on this blog? are people who need a lot more time to themselves and a whole lot more flexibility because they are disabled, and they're not making a ton of money. they're probably also not wasting a ton of money either -- bc they're broke. of course i could recommend things that are probably obvious like buying used phones instead of leasing them from cell phone providers, pirating media instead of paying for it, going to the gym at the park district building instead of a fancy private one -- but i think most people already know all of that and are doing their damndest.
the other side of the equation of course is to boost income -- doing freelancing or switching industries or things like that. but it's something i am also hesitant to recommend bc i dont want people burning out like i did, and it's not feasible for most of us.
personally i think the most useful part of the FIRE movement for the majority of us is advice about how to invest effectively, how to avoid getting screwed, and an affirmation that living very cheaply and independently of an employer IS possible. but it gets harder the more reliant you are upon a car, the more expensive the city is that you're living in, and if you have kids. hell, MMM even tells people that getting pets is a waste. that's just the kind of autism he has.
Again, r/leanfire is the best for practical tips and tools that will actually fit your life if youre like most of us here on this blog -- but if this is a topic you already think about a fair amount you're probably doing most of what you can already, and maybe even worrying about small expenses far too much. the whole point of FIREing is so you arent miserable. so like, dont cut out expenses that make your life more bearable. this isnt (or shouldnt be) some advocado toast shaming kinda stuff you know what i mean.
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Hi everyone,
For those of you who don't know, my darling cat Sage was diagnosed with lymphoma last week, by Sunday he couldn't walk by himself and wasn't eating and so we made the decision to have him put to sleep. He passed peacefully at home in my arms, and is now buried with his sister who died last November. I miss them both, and his absence is really hard to get used to.
I was already off work with my mental health so not getting full pay, and due to the time it took us to work out what was wrong with him, the diagnostic tests, medication, and ultimately having him put to sleep I've spent just over £1200 in vets fees. Because of his age and pre-existing illnesses his insurance won't cover it, and while I'm doing my best to negotiate with them I don't think I'm going to get anything out of it.
If you are able and would like to help with vets fees, then we'd be very grateful, my PayPal is here and my ko-fi is here.
It isn't as time sensitive as my previous, especially now he's passed and failure to pay won't harm him, but I need to take care of my own disability needs too and not being at work on full pay leaves me in a worse situation than I otherwise would be in, so any help (only if you are able and willing) is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading, I'm sorry the news isn't happier, and any love sent our way will definitely be felt 💜
#life blogging#tw pet death#tw pet loss#i miss him so fucking much#theres like#a hole in our home y'know?#but also vet fees are not fucking cheap#we did the best we could for him and that has to be okay
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The health industry’s invisible hand is a fist
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On June 21, I'm doing an ONLINE READING for the LOCUS AWARDS at 16hPT. On June 22, I'll be in OAKLAND, CA for a panel and a keynote at the LOCUS AWARDS.
The US has the rich world's most expensive health care system, and that system delivers the worst health outcomes of any country in the rich world. Also, the US is unique in relying on market forces as the primary regulator of its health care system. All of these facts are related!
Capitalism's most dogmatic zealots have a mystical belief in the power of markets to "efficiently allocate" goods and services. For them, the process by which goods and services are offered and purchased performs a kind of vast, distributed computation that "discovers the price" of everything. Our decisions to accept or refuse prices are the data that feeds this distributed computer, and the signals these decisions send about our desires triggers investment decisions by sellers, which guides the whole system to "equilibrium" in which we are all better off.
There's some truth to this: when demand for something exceeds the supply, prices tend to go up. These higher prices tempt new sellers into the market, until demand is met and prices fall and production is stabilized at the level that meets demand.
But this elegant, self-regulating system rarely survives contact with reality. It's the kind of simplified model that works when we're hypothesizing about perfectly spherical cows of uniform density on a frictionless surface, but ceases to be useful when it encounters a messy world of imperfect rationality, imperfect information, monopolization, regulatory capture, and other unavoidable properties of reality.
For members of the "efficient market" cult, reality's stubborn refusal to behave the way it does in their thought experiments is a personal affront. Panged by cognitive dissonance, the cult members insist that any market failures in the real world are illusions caused by not doing capitalism hard enough. When deregulation and markets fail, the answer is always more deregulation and more markets.
That's the story of the American health industry in a nutshell. Rather than accepting that people won't shop for the best emergency room while unconscious in an ambulance, or that the "clearing price" of "not dying of cancer" is "infinity," the cult insists that America's worst-in-class, most expensive health system just needs more capitalism to turn it into a world leader.
In the 1980s, Reagan's court sorcerers decreed that they could fix health care with something called "Prospective Payment Systems," which would pay hospitals a lump sum for treating conditions, rather than reimbursing them for each procedure, using competition and profit motives to drive "efficiency." The hospital system responded by "upcoding' patients: if you showed up with a broken leg and a history of coronary disease, they would code you as a heart patient and someone who needed a cast. They'd collect both lump sums, slap a cast on you, and wheel you out the door:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4195137/
As Robert Kuttner writes for The American Prospect, this kind of abuse was predictable from the outset, especially since Health and Human Services is starved of budget for auditors and can only hand out "slaps on the wrist" when they catch a hospital ripping off the system:
https://prospect.org/economy/2024-06-13-fantasyland-general/
Upcoding isn't limited to Medicare fraud, either. Hospitals and insurers are locked in a death-battle over payments, and hospitals' favorite scam is sending everyone to the ER, even when they don't have emergencies (some hospitals literally lock all the doors except for the ER entrance). That way, a normal, uncomplicated childbirth can be transformed into a "Level 5" emergency treatment (the highest severity of emergency) and generate a surprise bill of over $2,700:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/27/crossing-a-line/#zero-fucks-given
The US health industry is bad enough to generate a constant degree of political will for change, but the industry (and its captured politicians and regulators) is also canny enough to dream up an endless procession of useless gimmicks designed to temporarily bleed off the pressure for change. In 2018, HHS passed a rule requiring hospitals to publish their prices.
Hospitals responded to this with a shrewd gambit: they simply ignored the rule. So in 2021, HHS made another rule, creating penalties for ignoring the first rule:
https://www.cms.gov/priorities/key-initiatives/hospital-price-transparency/hospitals
The theory here was that publishing prices would create "market discipline." Again, this isn't wholly nonsensical. To the extent that patients have nonurgent conditions and the free time to shop around, being able to access prices will help them. Indeed, if the prices are in a standards-defined, machine-readable form, patients and their advocates could automatically import them, create price-comparison sites, leaderboards, etc. None of this addresses the core problem that health-care is a) a human right and b) not a discretionary expense, but it could help at the margins.
But there's another wrinkle here. The same people who claim that prices can solve all of our problems also insist that monopolies are impossible. They've presided over a decades-long assault on antitrust law that has seen hospitals, pharma companies, insurers, and a menagerie of obscure middlemen merge into gigantic companies that are too big to fail and too big to jail. When a single hospital system is responsible for the majority of care in a city or even a county, how much punishment can regulators realistically subject it to?
Not much, as it turns out. Kuttner describes how Mass Gen Brigham cornered the market on health-care in Boston, allowing it to flout the rules on pricing. In addition to standard tricks – like charging self-pay patients vastly more than insured payments (because individuals don't have the bargaining power of insurers), Mass Gen Brigham's price data is a sick joke.
See for yourself! The portal will send you giant, unstructured, ZIPped text files filled with cryptic garbage like:
ADJUSTABLE C TAPER NECK PLUS|1|UNITED HEALTHCARE [1016]|HB CH UNITED HMO / PPO / INDEMNITY [34]|UNITED HEALTHCARE HMO [101604]|75|Inv Loc: 1004203; from OR location 1004203|52.02|Inpatient PAF; 69.36% Billed|75|Inv Loc: 1004203; from OR location 1004203|56.87|Outpatient PAF; 75.83% Billed
https://www.massgeneralbrigham.org/en/patient-care/patient-visitor-information/billing/cms-required-hospital-charge-data
These files have tens of thousands of rows. As a patient, you are meant to parse through these in order to decide whether you're getting ripped off on that HIP STEM 16X203MM SIZE 4 FEMORAL PRESS FIT NEUTRAL REVISION TITANIUM you're in the market for (as it happens, I have two of these in my body).
Kuttner describes the surreal lengths he had to go through to prevent his mother from getting ripped off by Mass Gen through an upcoding hustle. By coding her as "admitted for observation," Mass Gen was able to turn her into an outpatient, with a 20% co-pay (this is down to a GW Bush policy that punishes hospitals that charge Medicare for inpatient care when they could be treated as outpatients – hospitals reflexively game the system to make every patient an outpatient, even if they have overnight hospital stays).
Kuttner's an expert on this: he was national policy correspondent for the New England Journal of Medicine and covers the health beat for the Prospect. Even so, it took him ten hours of phone calls to two doctors' offices and Blue Cross to resolve the discrepancy. The average person is not qualified to do this – indeed, the average person won't even know they've been upcoded.
Needless to say that people in other countries – countries where health care is cheaper and the outcomes are better – are baffled by this. Canadians, Britons, Australians, Germans, Finns, etc do not have to price-shop for their care. They don't have to hawkishly monitor their admission paperwork for sneaky upcodes. They don't have to spend ten hours on the phone arguing about esoteric billing practices.
In a rational world, we'd compare the American system to the rest of the world and say, "Well, they've figured it out, we should do what they're doing." But in good old U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!, the answer to this is more prices, more commercialization, more market forces. Just rub some capitalism on it!
That's where companies like Multiplan come in: this is a middleman that serves other middlemen. Multiplan negotiates prices on behalf of insurers, and splits the difference between the list price and the negotiated price with them:
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/07/us/health-insurance-medical-bills.html
But – as the Arm and a Leg podcast points out – this provides the perverse incentive for Multiplan to drive list prices up. If the list price quintuples, and then Multiplan drives it back down to, say, double the old price, they collect more money. Meanwhile, your insurer sticks you with the bill, over and above your deductible and co-pay:
https://armandalegshow.com/episode/multiplan/
The Multiplan layer doesn't just allow insurers to rip you off (though boy does it allow insurers to rip you off), it also makes it literally impossible to know what the price is going to be before you get your procedure. As with any proposition bet, the added complexity is there to make it impossible for you to calculate the odds and figure out if you're getting robbed:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/04/house-always-wins/#are-you-on-drugs
Multiplan is the purest expression of market dynamics brainworms I've yet encountered: solving the inefficiencies created by the complexity of a system with too many middlemen by adding another middle-man who is even more complex.
No matter what the problem is with America's health industry, the answer is always the same: more markets! Are older voters getting pissed off at politicians for slashing Medicare? No problem: just create Medicare Advantage, where old people can surrender their right to government care and place themselves in the loving hands of a giant corporation that makes more money by denying them care.
The US health industry is a perfect parable about the dangers of trusting shareholder accountable markets to do the work of democratically accountable governments. Shareholders love monopolies, so they drove monopolization throughout the health supply chain. As David Dayen writes in his 2020 book Monopolized the pharma industry monopolized first, and put the screws to hospitals:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/29/fractal-bullshit/#dayenu
Hospitals formed regional monopolies to counter the seller power of consolidated Big Pharma. That's Mass Gen's story: tapping the capital markets to buy other hospitals in the region until it became too big to fail and too big to jail (and too big to care). Consolidated hospitals, in turn, put the screws to insurers, so they also consolidated, fighting Big Hospital's pricing power.
Monopoly at any point in a supply chain leads to monopoly throughout the supply chain. But patients can't consolidate (that's what governments are for �� representing the diffuse interests of people). Neither can health workers (that's what unions are for). So the system screwed everyone: patients paid more for worse care. Health workers put in longer hours under worse conditions and got paid less.
Kuttner describes how his eye doctor races from patient to patient "as if he was on roller skates." When Kuttner wrote him a letter questioning the quality of care, the eye doctor answered that he understood that he was giving his patients short shrift, but explained that he had to, because his pay was half what he needed, relegating him to a small apartment and an old car. The hospital – which skims the payments he gets for care – sets his caseload, and he can't turn down patients.
The answers to this are obvious: get markets out of health care. Unionize health workers. Give regulators the budgets and power to hold health corporations to account.
But for market cultists, all of that can't work. Instead, we have to create more esoteric middlemen like "pharmacy benefit managers" and Multiplan. We need more prices to shovel into the market computer's data-hopper. If we just capitalism hard enough, surely the system will finally work…someday.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/13/a-punch-in-the-guts/#hayek-pilled
#billing codes#health#corruption#ripoffs#arm and a leg podcast#robert kuttner#prices#austrian economics#Prospective Payment Systems#the invisible hand#shop around#a market for lemons#monopoly#monopolization#upcoding
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I’m kinda new to tumblr so idk if this is like, improper, but that recent shit about your folks sucking was rough. just like, to read. I can’t even imagine how hard it sucks to be there right now. but idk I wanted to shoot an anonymous ask and just be like “hey you’re gonna make it” which I know you already know but figured it would be nice to hear from someone else too, so. hang in there fellow trans person and fuck your family’s behavior
Oh I never did really fully explain what was happening did I?
My great aunt died on December 1 and it wasn't particularly unexpected (she was very old, and her husband died a few years ago on Dec 3) but it was quite sudden and without much warning. I drove to my parents' house to mourn and help with funeral arrangements and it was my first time visiting since right before covid and also since starting medical transition. I figured I'd be enduring a lot of misgendering and the like but wanted to be there for my aunt because I had a lot of wonderful memories of celebrating Christmas at her house with her and my uncle.
An assortment of little comments added up over the next 24 hours until my mother effectively called me stupid unprompted to my face as I drove her from my sister's house back to her own, because I'd said that my niece and nephew were quite smart and that wasn't an abnormality within our family. This is referring to my graduating at 16 and testing well into genius for my IQ, my sister winning several national awards for her poetry and essays, my adult nephew graduating at 17 and only because of an August birthday, both of my parents having masters degrees they earned on scholarships they were given due to their own strong writing, etc and now my niece is skipping a grade and my nephew is averaging well above his grade level and likely will skip a grade too. So I said something about being a family of smart kids and my mom more or less went "well one of my kids isn't very bright" and then looked hard at me.
I'm the only college drop out of my siblings, and with a worse gpa. It's also not the first time she's called me stupid but normally not in so many words or out of left field like that so it cut pretty deep especially considering all the other bs I'd been putting up with since arriving.
I voiced discomfort with what I had (correctly) assumed she meant as a joke, which turned into an argument, which made me have the realization that this is not my home and has not been my home in some time and in fact the reason my mental health improved rapidly when I left is because I got away from her and all of her nasty little comments she doesn't think are a big deal and now I'm having a panic attack and oh- this is a trauma response. I am back in the same house, the same bedroom, the same situation, and I am being triggered, and I am having a trauma freak out, and it has been a very long time since this place and these people have been anything but detrimental to me.
TO HER CREDIT she did come into my bedroom late that night and stated that she couldn't sleep because she felt awful because clearly she seriously misstepped and did not actually mean to hurt me this badly but at that point the damage was done. We talked it out and then we both cried ourselves to sleep in our respective bedrooms and then I woke up with covid the next day and drove the 5 hours back home so I could access healthcare in my state with my state insurance.
And I don't think I will ever go back there willingly, at least not to stay overnight. I'll come up with a reason that I have to stay at a hotel or something.
So anyway long story short the issue was relatively shortlived and I am now back to normal but WOW that was a BAD night. I have not had a night like that in a very long time.
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On Appalachian and Southern Stereotypes
After seeing some people leap at the opportunity to insult and further harm us under my posts, even by obviously leftist accounts, I wanted to address some of the most popular stereotypes of our region.
Not as an excuse. There are many negative, violent and otherwise harmful features of the American South. We have a horrific history especially in terms of the violence we inflicted and continue to inflict upon the Black community that cannot be forgotten, and, as a culture, we do need to pay our dues.
But maybe this will help y’all apply some nuance to the situation and understand that we aren’t all your enemy.
Stereotype 1: Everyone is a Republican Racist
Absolute horse shit, my friends. There are people like me all over the south and in the hollers. We just get drowned out by the fascists, and it is all by design.
In my home state of North Carolina alone, they are working tirelessly to make it impossible for young, often liberal (if not outright leftist) voices to be heard. They specifically target regions with heavy POC populations.
As recently as May of this year, the North Carolina Supreme Court overturned their own previous ruling which once made gerrymandering illegal. This allows Republicans free range to draw their congressional lines wherever benefits them most.
Meanwhile, Roy Cooper, our Democratic governor, has been in office since 2017.
Gerrymandering is a real problem, and it reflects the worst of us. But it does not reflect all of us.
We are a working class, pro-union people.
We are coal miners and mill workers and farmers.
We took up arms against the government and fought for our labor rights during the Coal Wars as recently as the 1920s.
We bled for labor rights at the Battle of Blair Mountain.
It’s a myth that you keep perpetuating that we are all closed minded, bigoted regressionists. It diminishes the efforts of everyone from the coal miners to people like me while we try to make the region a better place.
It actually only worsens what you say that you wish you could “saw off into the ocean.”
That's my home you're talking about.
Stereotype 2: Everyone is Obese
36.3% of the overall population of the Southeast is obese. This is true.
Have you considered why that may be? For starters, Southerners are more likely to be uninsured compared to individuals living in the rest of the country.
"Among the total nonelderly population, 15% of individuals in the South are uninsured compared to 10% of individuals in the rest of the country."
Partially because they didn't even expand the same Medicaid benefits to us. and partially because we are just so fucking poor.
17% of the American South is below the poverty line, compared to 13% in the Midwest, 13% in the West, and 13% in the Northeast.
Percentages under 5% may not seem like much, but when you consider 1% of the total United States population is around 3,140,000 people, yeah, that adds up real quick.
How does this relate? Well...
Mississippi has 19.58% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 39.1% obesity rate.
West Virginia has 17.10% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 40.6 % obesity rate.
Kentucky has 16.61% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 40.4% obesity rate.
Are you seeing the trend?
We, generally speaking, are more likely to be unable to afford to feed ourselves wholesome foods, and we are less likely to be able to afford medical insurance--two things that are obviously important to maintaing good health and a "healthy" weight.
By the same token...
Stereotype #3: We're All Uneducated
The South and Appalachia are some of the lowest ranked in terms of educational funding and spending per pupil in the entire country. We don't even break the top 30 on the list, y'all.
49. Tennessee at $8,324 per pupil 47. Mississippi at $8,919 per pupil 45. Alabama at $9,636 per pupil 42. Kentucky at $10,010 per pupil 36. North Carolina at $10,613 per pupil 35. South Carolina at $10,719 per pupil 33. Georgia at $10,893 per pupil 32. West Virginia at $10,984 per pupil
The top three best-funded states, by comparison, receive between $18k and $20k per pupil.
In terms of higher education, student loans are a death sentence for everyone but especially impoverished kids just looking for a way out. It just isn't feasible for most of us. And that's if we even tested well after going to shitty schools our whole lives. If we had better education, we'd have better literacy in all things, including critical thinking, allowing us to better see through the bullshit we are taught. But we don't. And you aren't helping the ones who are trying in spite of that.
Stereotype 4: Bad Teeth
Quickly going to touch on this one--when we consider a lack of access to affordable, healthy food, shitty medical insurance in general and our poverty rate, this one is kind of obvious. Even so:
“Dental coverage was significantly lower than the national average in the South Atlantic (45.6%), East South Central (45.6%), West South Central (45.9%), and Pacific (48.0%) regions.”
Every time you make a toothless hillbilly joke, ask if poverty is really the butt of the joke you want to be making.
These are just the most pervasive of them, imo. And they can all be underlined by extreme poverty which is absolutely by design.
It also contributes to why it isn’t so easy to “just leave” as we are so often dismissively told to do. Moving is expensive.
And why should we have to, anyway? Why should we have to flee our homes?
Why, for those who feel safe enough and/or have no other choice, should we not stay and fight to better the region?
And why can’t you other leftists get behind us and help us in our fight instead of perpetuating harmful stereotypes? We're your people, too.
Just some food for thought. And I hope some of y’all take a big ol bite.
#i am already exhausted#if you wanna discuss or for some reason argue any of these points my asks are open but i'm hopping off of here for now#appalachia#appalachian culture#appalachian mountains#southern usa#txt
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Hey, uh, just wanted to say, leaking a recording of the Nerdy Prudes digital ticket online is just... very fucking uncool. I know piracy is all the rage right now for dealing with Hollywood, and frankly until the streamers sort themselves out it probably should be, but Starkid aren't HBOMax or Netflix or whatever. They are a tiny, independent theatre company held together by everyday working creators who don't even necessarily always have health insurance, and they put incredibly high value recordings of their shows online for absolutely free. They are the goddamn Gold Standard in making theatre accessible (both financially and geographically) and the least we can do to help them keep going is to respect the handful of content boundaries they put up and the few months it takes them to get their recordings online. Nerdy Prudes is coming so damn soon, guys. We can wait.
(EDITED ADDENDUM: As a writer heavily invested in the strike I should probably clarify my pro-piracy stance. I am invested in piracy as a means of preserving and archiving the art that the studios are disappearing entirely from the face of the planet. Especially when those streamers are barely paying the people who create the work anyway, so the traditional idea of "pay to support the artist" doesn't always hold up. But the WGA has NOT called for a strike of streamers, so please keep using them as much as you used to!
But none of that has anything to with Starkid. Don't leak their stuff!)
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"Anytime you seek help from the police, you're inviting them into your community and putting people who are already vulnerable into dangerous situations.
But we can build trusted networks of mutual aid that allow us to better handle conflicts ourselves and move towards forms of transformative justice [...]."
"Don't feel obligated to defend property – especially corporate "private" property. [...] ask yourself if anyone is being hurt or endangered by property "theft" or damage. If the answer is no, then let it be."
"If something of yours is stolen and you need to file a report for insurance or othe purposes, consider going to the police station instead of bringing cops into your community."
"If you observe someone exhibiting behavior that seems "odd" to you, don't assume that they are publicly intoxicated. Ask if they are OK, if they have a medical condition, and if they need assistance."
"If you see someone pulled over with car trouble, stop and ask if they need help or if you can call a tow truck for them."
"Keep a contact list of community resources like suicide hotlines. [...] people with mental illness are sixteen times more likely to be killed by cops than those without mental health challenges."
"Check your impulse to call the police on someone you believe looks or is acting 'suspicious'. Is their race, gender, ethnicity, class, or housing situation influencing your choice?"
"[...] create a culture of taking care of each other and not unwittingly putting people in harm's way." As in, encourage others to avoid inviting police into community and public spaces, including rallies and demonstrations.
"If your neighbor is having a party and the noise is bothering you, go over and talk to them. Getting to know your neighbors [...] is a good way to make asking them to quiet down a little less uncomfortable."
"If you see someone peeing in public, just look away!"
"Hold and attend de-escalation, conflict resolution, first aid, volunteer medic, and self-defense workshops in you neighborhood, school, workplace, or community organization."
"Don't report graffiti and other street art[tists]. If you see work that includes fascist or hate speech, paint over it yourself or with friends."
"Remember, you can support friends and neighbors who are being victimized by abusers by offering them a place to stay, a ride to a safe location, or to watch their children. Utilize community resources like safe houses and hotlines." (You could also offer to store money for them in a safe location if they need that)
Source: 12 Things to Do Intead of Calling The Cops.
#leftist theory#things we can do#community organizing#advice#safety tips#police violence#tags to get the notes out#my notes.
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