#especially if he's avoiding it like he's in the Matrix

[oddthumbswetsleeves]

Hiding - Oneshot

Inspired by this post by @crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington <3

“Have you heard from B today?”

Elita-1 looked up from her datapad at her former-incompetent-subordinate turned leader. He looked stressed, or maybe nervous? It was hard to tell ever since he received the matrix.

“No. I haven’t seen him since the last time he messed up putting the supplies in storage.’ She looked back at the forms she was filling out. “He’s probably avoiding us cause he’s embarrassed.

“Embarrassed?” Optimus sounded confused. Elita realised she had neglected to tell the prime about B’s latest incident.

“He put a lot of the supplies he was sorting into the wrong places. I mean, seriously! I gave him possibly the easiest job I could have, and he still messed it up.” Optimus didn’t look like her answer had put him at ease. “He’ll be fine. If he’s embarrassed it might teach him to listen a little more.”

“Just-“ They met optics, “Tell me if you see him, or if you can get through to him. He won’t answer my comms.” He sighed. “I’m worried.”

He definitely looked nervous now.

“Yeah, sure.” Elita went back to reading. Optimus was silent for a moment, as if he wanted to say something else, but left quickly.

Once he was out of audial-range she tried B-127’s comm, certain Optimus was exaggerating. B never missed an opportunity to blabber.

“B”

Nothing

“B-127, respond.”

Still nothing

“B, this isn’t funny. Answer me.”

Silence

Elita never thought she would be able to use that word to describe the yellow bot. She started feeling slightly worried before it was replaced with something else.

How dare he hide away from his duties as an Autobot because he was embarrassed. He wasn’t the only one struggling with his new status. Being the Autobot commander and essentially second-in-command of Cybertron was exhausting. Every moment she wasn’t recharging or refuelling she was working. B was not going to get away with skirting his duties.

She was gonna find him.

Where the frag was he?

Elita had spent nearly half the orn asking around for the little mech. No one had seen him since she had. Not Jazz, not Ratchet, not even Prowl, who was usually aware of all Autobot activity. The other scouts had gibed her about B-127’s unrivalled skills in what they called “Extreme Hide and Seek”.

“If B’s hiding from you there’s no chance you’ll find him” one taunted. Primus, she hated being around the scouts, nosy bunch.

“Wait, why do you think he’s hiding from me?”

“Why else would you be looking for him? He’s told us about how busy you are.” Another one answered.

“Well, you’re not helping!” She stormed off before they could peeve her off more.

Elita was definitely getting hangry, so she decided to stop to get energon before anyone could risk mentioning it to her. Everyone had really been enjoying the abundance of it. The decreasing rations had been affecting the cogless bots hard. She remembered after being transferred to waste management seeing how some of the supervisors were stealing others rations off the delivery lines for themselves. That was one of the first things she fixed, especially since many of the bots on lower levels didn’t leave their stations during their breaks. Mostly the bots on the sub-

The sub-levels

“The best hiding spots are ones that other bots don’t know exist.” B-127 told her that once while he was training to be a scout. He was mostly talking about places that taller bots couldn’t get to, but almost no one knew about the 10 extra sub-levels.

“Scrap”

The elevator rattled more the lower it went. It was also getting noticeably hotter. The doors opened and after stepping out they surprisingly didn’t close behind her. Strange. She didn’t say anything at first, trying to hear any noise that wasn’t coming from the furnace.

She felt isolated.

Even though Elita knew she could contact anyone she wanted instantly, there was just something about the room emanated loneliness, but B had to be here.

She looked around. The room was small, nothing besides the furnace, the conveyor belt, and the trash chute.

Unless��

One of the walls seemed to have a handle, and when she moved it... Another room! She pushed it over.

What on Cybertron?

The walls were lined with multicolour string lights. The room had a table and chairs, but in the chairs were 3 piles of trash. They were kind of bot shaped. She guessed one of these were what “Steve” was, who Orion supposedly killed and D-16 insisted wasn’t real. Primus this guy was weird. Just before she turned away, she saw it. There was something golden-yellow barely poking up from behind the table. Elita had to stop herself from groaning. Some hiding expert he was.

“B” He didn’t move. Elita crossed her arms.

“B-127 I can see you.” He slowly ducked out of view. Elita’s face scrunched up, “Get out here right now or so help me, I will drag you back up to Iacon by your finials.”

The bot cautiously stood up, looking anywhere except her face. Neither one said anything for a few moments. Elita tapped her finger against her arm, making sure B could hear it. He still did not say anything. Elita started feeling nervous again, B didn’t even recharge this quietly. She wouldn’t show it though, he wasn’t getting any pity from her.

“Well?” she prompted.

“Why are you down here?” He asked quietly.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Elita leaned forward, but B still didn’t look up. “Why are you hiding? Do you think I’ll just forget your screw-up if I don’t see you for a few orns?”

“I’m not hiding. You know I’m here now, you can go back to work.” He fidgeted with his servos.

“What, so you can keep sulking here?”

“I’m not sulking.” His voice was low, but a bit rough.

Had he been crying?

“Then why are you down here?”

“You were really mad at me the last time I messed up. You said I was running out of chances.”

“So?” Her gaze steeled. His breath hitched.

Was he going to cry again?

“Well, that’s what supervisors used to say to me before I would get demoted” their optics met, “and you were a supervisor…”

“So, you came down here?” She gripped her arms a bit tighter.

“I’ve never had a boss who was my friend before.” He looked down at his servos, still keeping his voice low. “I just didn’t want to see your face when you decided to give up on me.” Fluid dripped from his optics.

“Give up?” Her voice was suddenly much softer. She cleared her throat. “Why would you think I’d give up on you? We’re friends, you said it yourself.”

“Megatron was Optimus’ friend, and he dropped him to the centre of Cybertron.”

Elita felt a pang in her spark. That might have been the scariest moment of her life, including everything that happened leading up to it. B had been the one to stop her from trying to grab Orion as he plummeted. In the frenzy she might have fallen after him. B had probably saved her life.

She was definitely failing to hide her pity now.

They were both silent for a while, the furnace rumbling softly behind her. Elita sighed and walked around the table. B shrunk under her gaze. This was the first time she had ever felt bad about making a subordinate scared of her. She put her servos on his shoulders, taking care to be gentle, and bent down slightly to be at optic level with the scout.

He was definitely crying.

Elita wrapped her arms around him tightly. He tentatively moved his servos up to her back. She felt him shake.

“Are you not mad at me?” B’s voice quivered. She sighed, squeezing tighter.

“I’m not sure I am anymore.” Letting go to hold his shoulders again. He sniffled and she moved her servos to cup his face. “Why haven’t you answered any comms? Optimus is practically beside himself.”

“I didn’t know you guys were calling me.”

“What?! Is your commlink broken?” She turned his helm to look at his audials. He pulled her servos away from his face. They had tears on them.

“No.” He looked towards the furnace. “I’m pretty sure no signals reach down here from the surface.

Elita’s face scrunched. She turned away, reaching a digit up to her commlink.

“Optimus, come in.”

No response. She swore quietly.

“We’re going back to Iacon before the boss starts pulling walls down to find you.” She held her servo out. B hesitated.

“He’s looking for me?”

“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he be?” B tapped his pedes nervously.

“I thought you guys were kinda fed up of me.” Elita chose not to address that. She grabbed his servo and pulled him towards the elevator. It was still open.

“How come these doors didn’t close behind me?”

“Cause they don’t open from this side. It’s so if somebot comes down here to get something they won’t get stuck.”

“But that means…” Her spark sank in her chassis.

“Yeah, I can’t call the elevator.”

She stared at him. She felt the rage she frequently had for Sentinel and his lackeys build up.

“So you planned on staying down here forever?” B started wringing his servos again.

“I dunno”

“Well how would you have come back up if I hadn’t found you here?”

“Optimus, Megatron and I climbed up through the chute.” He pointed at it. “I probably could have done that again.”

“Would you have?”

B didn’t answer.

“You’re coming back to Iacon with me.” She put a servo on his shoulder. “I cleared my schedule when I went looking for you so we can do whatever you want, ok?” She led him into the lift. He shrugged. “There are a couple movies I’ve been too busy to watch. We can watch them in my quarters if you want.”

“Sure” He smiled for the first time since she found him.

“We do have to go see Prime first. I’m a bit worried he has actually turned headquarters upside down in my absence.” B giggled. Elita felt a weight lift off her spark. Once the elevator started moving, she pulled him into another hug, more forcefully this time.

“Never scare me like that again, or I will actually kill you.”

“Okay”

[fairy-lights-and-blobs]

I mean, if Jazz, who so easily turned him in the first time, now knows where he is, he'd most definitely try to run away, if only to avoid being tortured and experimented on again.

Anyways, the thoughts wouldn't let go of me, so I decided to write a little something. In my mind, Danny is somewhere in his late 20's, and has been here for every new kid Bruce keeps "accidentally finding".

He had to get away. To leave this place, leave this city, and go far far away, where Jasmine Fenton wouldnt be able to find him.

Danny hadn't been counting on seeing the betrayer Jasmine Fenton ever again. And the fact that she was here in Gotham meant nothing good. Jazz seeing him meant Jack and Maddie would be after him soon after.

The Wayne's didn't know about his past. Danny had buried those memories deep, where he could almost forget why he has a dissection scars in his chest. Why there's lines of scars traced all over him, why even now he has moments where his left hand seems to respond a little sluggish compared to normal (after the GIW took it off, it never managed to grow back quite right).

Unfortunately, his past has decided that he hasn't been torn into enough pieces, so of course the Fentons were in Gotham. And Jasmine Fenton finally joined her parents in single-handedly causing a war between the Living and the Ghosts.

When he made it back to Wayne Manor, Danny was greeted by a silent house. It was nightfall, and so the Bats were out and about, while Duke went to bed early, what with his daylight patrol schedule. And Alfred was busy with manning the Cave.

"Well, someone's in a hurry...what, someone on your ass about the past you never speak about?" Which is why Danny felt his Core almost leave his chest when he heard Jason's voice from his door while he had busied himself with packing a bag.

Something must've shown on his face, because Jason was immediately on alert. "Please don't tell me I'm actually right...is that why you're packing your bags?"

"Jay, there's a lot about me none of you know. A lot that I don't WANT you to know. If it were up to me, youd never know even a whisper of my past, but since some certain kin-traitors have decided that I haven't been tortured and cut open enough, now I need to get the fuck out of Gotham if I wanna avoid even more experimentation at the hands of my former family." Danny knew his emotions were messing with him. The way Jason jumped when he slipped into Ghost Speak was very noticeable. But he was too far past the point of caring.

Sooner of later Jasmine would find her way to the Bats, and then it would all be over for him. Better to leave now. Sure, Alfred would be devastated, but he'd recover.

After all, if the people that had promised to love him would willingly hand him over to the GIW, then nothing assure him Bruce wouldn't get the Justice League involved in taking him out.

So, bags packed, and overstuffed, with his clothes and the few trinkets he'd started keeping in his room, Danny allowed himself to become Phantom again. To finally stretch that part of him that had been hidden and pushed down deep into his Core for years now. A tug at the air, and a portal formed.

"Goodbye Jason. Tell Alfie he was the best damn thing that ever happened to me. I only wish i had been brave enough to call him Dad at least once...and for whatever it may count, you were always my favorite Bat, Jay. It was a delight helping to raise you, little spook." The portal closed behind him, and Danny floated towards Pariah's old Keep.

"Well, at least now I guess I don't have any excuse to continue holding off on renovating you, eh?" Mentally commanding the gates to open, Danny sat on the old Throne and started pouring his powers into changing the Keep itself. Finally establish a proper Lair.

Little did Danny know, Jason wasn't about to let that be it for his family. They'd been doing so good, and now SOMETHING had pushed away the man that had become something of a cousin to the entire family. Everyone knew you could trust Danny with your secrets, and nothing would be spilled to any wayward ears.

Maybe the little Borrower (not Replacement, because Danny shut that shit down immediately, and Timmy was just "borrowing" the Robin title, until Damian came along and took up the mantle) and his eyes everywhere could help him.

Starting with a call from Commissioner Gordon about a Meta Mass Murderer wanted by the Government, called in by one Jasmine Fenton.

Red Hood would be sure to pay her an unfriendly visit, after learning of her ties to one Danny Fenton, also know as Phantom

Alfred Pennyworth has in fact, perhaps, in the slightest of chances.

Picked up his Master's habit of collecting children as if they were on sale.

He was spending his time on one of those rare vacations he decided to take, it was nice, to relax with only the vague overhanging worry of something going wrong back at the manor that he's gotten very good at ignoring.

Only to come across a child bleeding out in an alley, heavily injured.

He would not be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try to help them however he could.

Such is how he acquired a child he later found to be a meta who whished to learn the ways of a butler.

---

Danny had escaped from a GIW compound, after having been handed over by his family a while after his reveal. He felt, completely and utterly betrayed, when it happened. His parents, while hurt, he was at least capable of actually seeing them do it, but never would he have thought Jazz would do so as well.

They did it so happily, that he wondered if letting him go really was the greatest thing to happen to this family.

He chained, muzzled, all the ways to bind him they pulled all the stops too, knowing how dangerous he was. He wouldn't have even done anything then, too stunned by his families apart willingness at handing him over to the government.

He hated them.

He hated them so much.

The GIW facility was a terrible, cold, unfeeling place. One where they drilled thoughts into his head again and again until he found himself unconsciously repeating them when his head felt empty, one where his body gained a new mark day by day and pushed through tests, he had no clue of even hoping to comprehend what they would gain out of it.

It was a cold, unfeeling place. Placed in a cell of white and nothing else, with low walls and chains binding his body in place until the time came for another experiment.

It was a room he grew used to. One he even held some kind of strange, twisted affection for.

It was a room that held a tiny piece of safety, of rest. It was a room that taught him to hate.

A deep, powerful, disgusting, twisting hatred that crawled from the depths of his cells, corrupting his blood and carving itself deep into his bones. Forcing it's out of his pores until it practically oozed from his flesh.

It drowned his mind, tainting each and every thought, every memory, every dream, every waking moment until he could feel nothing but hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate.

When he was taken out of that he could feel nothing, with the drugs swimming their way through his blood that snapped the thin string keeping him between a person and an emotionless puppet.

He thinks that's what the GIW thinks he is.

And when he was placed back in that room, he could only hate.

It was a cycle. Stuck between feeling either nothing or hatred.

He hated feeling nothing, it made him feel like he wasn't real. Like it snapped the thread that held him between what a real person was and a dream.

So, he allowed himself to drown deep into his hatred. Until the white walls of his far to small room seemed to fade, until whatever sound he could have heard became nothing but dull noise.

Until the passage of time seemed to become just a blink.

He didn't know what day it was, when he saw it. Saw them. He didn't know the time, the date, the day, the hours. He knew nothing.

But he could recognize his family. Recognize one of the objects of his intense hatred that he forced his thoughts too. The people who willingly gave him up just like that and one of the causes for his current life.

He didn't know why they showed him them, he felt it some sick, utterly cruel joke. A joke he didn't know the punchline for, a joke the universe sent his way to make his life all the more miserable.

There were multiple of them. Multiple clones of his family. Som within test tubes, some being pulled out from the tubes, some walking around in lab coats. A waste of talent, they called it in his dad's case, a waste of intelligence in his mother's, and a waste of intellect in his sister's case.

His original family was already dead, he was told. Replaced by clones, clones that took over the legal decision to change his guardianship. Clones walking around twisting and desecrating his family.

'At least it was painless.' One of the clones said, talking with his mother's face. 'Far more than they deserved for having keeping a thing like him' spoken by his father's imposter.

The drugs pumping through his system to keep him calm, to keep him feeling nothing was suddenly pierced through by an intense feeling of horror, hate and self-loathing.

He should've known it wasn't his family. He should've done more! More to protect them! To keep them safe! The could've still been alive if he just knew.

In that moment, watching imposters speaking, walking, talking, breathing, with his families faces. He exploded. Exploded with a power fueled by nothing but his intense hatred for every. Single. Living being in this goddamn facility.

He killed whoever stood in his way. Managing to get his hands on relatively newly designed weapon, an ectoplasmic scythe (that also apparently could revert into an everyday item). Which he used to rip and tear throughout the entirety of the facility. He got injured, of course, he couldn't dodge everything, but he didn't care.

A body stuck between life and death, incapable of fully going one way or the other no matter what happened. Gifted supernatural powers fueled by wrath and twisting hatred and a weapon made by man yet in the range of the supernatural.

They didn't stand a change. He killed them all. No matter who it was, man, woman, clone. He didn't, couldn't care. He could only kill, only maim, only hurt.

And that's what he did.

It was then, when the facility was blanketed with silence tainted by despair, death and hysteria. When previously white walls were covered by blood, and the halls turned into rivers of blood and corpses. That he broke down, the overwhelming hatred he felt replaced by relief then sadness then self-loathing.

His family didn't give him up! But they were killed. Kill because of him. He couldn't stand being in this place, anymore. His body felt as if it were moving on unseen strings as it walked through the halls, the scythe shrinking back what it was when out of combat, his mind too occupied by thoughts and feelings.

It walked through a portal, one to the ghost zone, and then promptly into another portal and spat him out into an alleyway. Which he then promptly collapsed and curled into a ball, curing the shrunken scythe in his palm and he was out like a light.

A few days after he woke up, he found himself growing attached to the human that found him in that alleyway. An old man, maybe, but a nice one. He didn't want to meet anyone, besides that man, so he turned invisible when anyone else come into contact with him.

Alfred Pennyworth.

It was a name he clung onto mentally and a man he clung onto physically as well. He wanted to be like that man, someone so nice and caring, someone who didn't mind that he turned invisible at the sing of another person, who let him cling onto him both invisible and not whenever he wanted to.

He did panic when he heard Alred saying his vacation was over, and such that he had to leave. He didn't want to be left alone again, he didn't know what he would do if he was left alone again.

Until Afred said we were going home.

We. As in, him plus another. Alfred plus Danny.

Home.

Heat blossomed in his chest, seeming to replace the constant, low hum of hate sitting beneath him skin.

Home.

[blue-dream-rhapsody]

Oh my god Phoenix Wright. Fuck, I’ve missed screaming your name.

(In aggravation. Because when I press statements hoping you ask an obvious question that’ll bridge to a piece of evidence, you ask some irrelevant bullshit instead. I want to strangle you.)

[kingghoost]

how does optimus feel about having to fight using ratchet’s body?

Extremely conflicted.

Even before the war, Optimus always hated himself for not being able to do something about the issues he cares deeply for. With the energon shortage preventing him from transforming into root mode, he ultimately feels useless, especially given the fact that the title of Prime and bearing the Matrix weighs him down.

Imagine you are given the most important artifact in your homeworld, tasked with guiding your people to the light side and later on having to fight a war. Now, imagine you can not be there for any of it, and you are forced to live out all of these horrific events through the eyes of the one you consider closest to you. No matter how much blame you carry on your shoulders, you can not even hope to have a chance of redeeming yourself or making things right.

You, as a protector, can't even protect your loved ones on your own.

This absolutely breaks Optimus and is one of his biggest dilemmas in this AU. Instead of not having the nerve to end the war, he never got a chance to in the first place. It doesn't help that he doesn't like to see/feel Ratchet get hurt during battles...

I think he'd definitely be avoidant of any conflict unless absolutely necessary for these reasons, that and just his general dislike for violence.

TDLR: Optimus doesn't like his husband getting hurt in his place, and he feels useless cuz he can't move or communicate through conventional means

[zeropro]

What are your thoughts on transformers prime and transformers one?

TL:DR I liked both! TFP was my first Transformers show that I watched all the way through and TF1 was a lot of fun! Opinions on Starscream under the break pfpfpfpfpfpf

Prime was literally my first Transformers experience (Okay that's not true, I did see the first Bay movie when it came out but lets not talk about that). It's really good! My favorite character was Ratchet, I loved that he's just a tired, grumpy, racist old man and he's a doctor. Knock Out was the best thing to come out of TFP and he really should be in more stuff. Really would have loved a fourth season but it wouldn't have been the same without the children around. I liked what we got!

Prime has an excellent Starscream, Steve Blume does an amazing performance with both his deep conniving gravel and his high pitched terrified sputtering. So much character in his animation too, especially in later seasons, and an incredibly compelling character arc. Prime Starscream is not a good person, but I would burn the world for him, and I like the small moments in the show that hint at something in his character that could be turned to good, but circumstance always works against him in that regard. He's just so pathetic, but also competent and dangerous, all the best qualities of a Starscream and a very unique design!

Transformers One was quite good, I was worried because of the trailers but I was surprised by how well executed it all was. None of the characters were annoying, and making Optimus Prime originally one of the oppressed class alongside Megatron was a good move. The scene where Orion gives Dee the sticker is so cute, I simply cannot. The ending felt a bit rushed but what can you do, it wasnt so bad that it's a problem for me.

I would have loved just a little more Starscream in the movie! Like, I knew he wasn't really gonna be in the movie much so i was prepared for it to be little more than a glorified cameo, but I loved a lot of what we did get and I feel like it was missing just a little bit more! Like, the whole High Guard turned rogue backstory he has is great, implies some honor to his character since he didnt keep serving Sentinal when the guy turned Cybertron over to the Quintissance. I think it's hilarious that Starscream is so much older than Megatron. Like, they gave us a lot of food to make headcanons out of, but then the rushed ending kind of left me with no real reason given for him and the rest of the High Guard to go with Megatron without a fight. Like, I think the reason given was that, because Megatron beat him up that one time, and then killed Sentinal, and since the High Guard became a might makes right society and hates Sentinal, I guess thats why they are loyal to him now. And I guess the one line where Starscream is like "all hail megatron" is supposed to indicate he's 100% behind Megatron now and not just a spur of the moment thing. And I guess them following his command to destroy the city is why theyre being banished. But like...idk, every other plot point was well established and properly played out, and the whole decepticons thing just didnt really feel like enough, and i kind of feel like it should have been more clearly communicated considering its an entire one side of a two sided war? I feel like we werent shown the high guard doing anything egregiously bad besides attacking people because megatron told them to.

Like, there's nothing in the movie to suggest that Starscream and the High Guard arent still loyal to the Primes. So when Orion comes back as a prime, like a proper prime, with the matrix and everything, which everyone knows will make the energon flow again, I'm surprised Starscream didnt at least try to make excuses or worm his way into avoiding banishment? My headcanon is he wanted to kill Sentinal as bad as Megatron and so when Megatron finally does what he failed to do for 50 cycles, he's like aite im ride or die for this guy. Maybe 50 cycles of living in the wilderness doing nothing but scout and pit fight all day changes a guy and they dont wanna live in a society anymore. Why dont they accept Optimus as the new prime? They helped him and Elita save their friends, and unlike Sentinal Optimus has the actual Matrix this time. Idk mang. Woulda liked a bit more.

Transformers One, not my favorite design for Starscream. The head vents going wide at the bottom look weird to me, and his legs are so long and flat.

Thems my opinions!

[theoceanoasis]

Deaf Rodimus who always has his implant audials in but takes them out to charge on a night he forgot Drift and Ratchet were coming over

No one knew he was deaf not even Ratchet. It was his biggest insecurity and something he went to great lengths to hide especially when he became Prime.

Since most injuries and diseases could simply be fixed having a disability was looked down on. Many people believed those with disabilities were useless and a burden on everyone else who should end themselves for the greater good.

It hurt growing up listening to how others like him were talked about and it was the reason he was so determined to hide this part of himself.

When he became a Prime he was even more determined. Since Primes were seen as the closest thing to a god and no one wanted a broken one.

If they found out he was deaf they would ask questions wondering if he was worthy of the matrix. Something he already had to fight so hard to prove. This would just be another thing added on top.

He didn't know why Primus didn't fix his audios when he was upgraded and some part of him thinks it's because he was unworthy and that he was always meant to give up the matrix to Optimus.

He was nothing but a stand in while Optimus was the real Prime and he didn't deserve the title and oftentimes felt like a fraud.

He tried to push the negative thoughts away as he went to charge his implants. They worked wonderfully and he wore them all the time but occasionally they needed to be charged every few months.

He'd been putting it off, not wanting to take them off. Because every time he always felt uncomfortable and his negative thoughts would oftentimes overwhelm him.

After taking it off he felt uncomfortable and exposed to the world having been so used to hearing. He grabbed blankets and made himself a little nest with his back pressed against the wall while his body faced the door.

He tried his best to relax and fall asleep wanting to wake up and have his device charged.

He didn't hear the knocking on his door or his comm blowing up with messages since he accidentally left it in the other room.

He'd been so stressed out about taking off his implants that he forgot tonight was movie night.

Ratchet and Drift waited outside for a long time both of them calling him.

"Maybe something's wrong. Since he's not picking up."

Drift suggested looking at the door worriedly.

Ratchet went to enter his code when the TV turned on. They both jumped at the loud volume and continued waiting for Rodimus to answer the door.

Drift tried calling him a few more times wondering what was going on. He seemed so excited a few days ago for their movie date. He didn't know what changed since then.

"He's clearly home and since he's not answering he's avoiding us."

"I'm sure that's not true."

Even as he said that he looked at the door skeptically. It wouldn't be the first time Rodimus avoided them although that hasn't happened since they first started to court him and some miscommunication happened.

"Maybe he forgot?"

"Then why isn't he answering the door when we've been knocking on it or answer his comm that's been ringing nonstop? I can hear it inside."

They both listened to the sound of his comm go off as they continued calling him. He gave the door a sad look because Rodimus was avoiding them again instead of talking about it.

"Rodimus if you're not going to answer the door we are leaving!"

Ratchet banged on the door a few more times and when nothing happened he walked away with a huff muttering about a waste of time. Even as he said that he could see the hurt in his optics and he followed his Conjunx. Hopefully he could get some kind of an explanation from Rodimus and if he was avoiding them he'd like to know why so they can at least try and fix it.

[cozzzynook]

Drift and Ratchet in a relationship together where they occasionally bring Rodimus in for a threesome.

Rodimus likes them and thinks sleeping with them is the only way he'll get to be with them and suffers in silence. He loves going back to their room together but always regrets it afterwards. Leaving in the middle of the night because he knows they don't want him around in the morning and he doesn't want to make it awkward. He's nothing but a quick frag to them.

Megatron and Ultra Magnus see this. They're a couple and they like Rodimus. They don't like him destroying himself like this and decide to woo him. Wanting to be in a relationship with him and also show him what it feels like to be in a real relationship that makes him happy. Where he doesn't have to leave in the middle of the night.

Ratchet and Drift see this and try talking with Megatron and Ultra Magnus because they're in a relationship with Rodimus. Then Megatron and Ultra Magnus are like no you're not and the two of them realize what they've been doing to Rodimus. Then it becomes a race for who can woo Rodimus.

*internally screaming*

Rodimus thinking his only happy ending is not a conjunx, not a family, not even a special lone bot that likes to exclusively frag him, but to be a nice, quick, deep frag buddy that has to sneak and leave in the middle of the night because anything more than his valve or glossa with nothing inside it is an annoyance at best.

He knows without a doubt he’s a good frag, a wild ride no bot can tame and love coming back for more a couple shares but thats it.

He’s not worthwhile.

Not meant to be special beyond the matrix making a mistake picking him because it probably pitied him.

He’s just a good frag that’s pretty and no bot with half a processor would ever try courting or seeing him as worth something and his former amica, a relationship he ruined, and his amicas conjunx would be no different. He was delusional in holding that hope close to spark they’d see him as something, anything, more than a frag to spice up the berth. But he shouldn’t have let impossible fantasies flit about his helm like that. He wasn’t that kind of bot.

He would never be.

That is until Minimus and Megatron.

He didn’t think much of it when they started looking at him more, started getting closer physically and even giving soothing touches that bordered work appropriate and public intimacy.

He thought his helm was in the astro exhaust clouds again but he knew the tender servos on his lower back that would usher him to follow them or through a door was not a delusion and he plainly stated that when he felt his spark lurch at being hurt over and over again especially by two bots he finally got approval and favor from.

Hearing them confirm that they were indeed interested in him and were actively pursuing him in courtship with the intent to have him as their conjunx, he quite literally blue screened and fainted.

That didn’t sit well with the two since most normal mechs with a healthy past of relationships don’t react like that.

Its a concern they communicate with the sun-like mech who finds it tolerable to be vulnerable and communicate with the two. They make it so easy for him to avoid the hurdles of his nerve system and processor and their gentlemech mannerisms along with Megatrons femme like care make it so much easier to let his walls down and be open with them.

He wasn’t sure they’d like the Rodimus he kept hidden but they showed him parts of themselves most didn’t know existed besides the two very trusted old friends from before the war. His spark felt so protected he did all he could to make them feel the same.

Making them fuel, they had no idea he knew how to make fuel so delicious, warming the berth and rooms with his outlier, actually paying attention during meetings and doing most of his paperwork. The late nights he’d cover them with a blanket or move them to the berth only to be pulled beside or between them or even on top of them. It was so uncomfortable to have too much weight of his spoiler so they often laid against him instead of on top of him. Something he truly appreciated and showed by rubbing their helms or finials with his digits warmed to perfection.

More than anything he loved feeling cared for and seen and he brought them something they didn’t know was missing.

It became easier for them all to relax and talk about the past with someone who knew what it was like to get stuck.

It was so easy coming together without having ever fragged that when they finally did it didn’t feel at all like anything Roddy was used to.

They combined sparks, melted into each other and touched in a way Rodimus had no idea possible.

It was an accident bonding so early becoming conjunx but it felt so new yet so normal that they hadn’t realized until it was over and Rodimus was a leaking and whimpering mess from the feeling of their emotions that were so suddenly thrust onto him.

It wasn’t a regret but Minimus did wish they had more courting time as Megatron wished he could’ve courted Rodimus the way his people back in the mines used to do. He wanted to court him with poetry and songs that would soothe recharge in the berth under the stars changing with age.

Minimus didn’t develop with a romantic cultural with the interpersonal courting the former miner did. His background was a different upbringing in the hidden walls of home and bots a like before he adorned the Magnus armor. Shape shifting to his cyber fox form allowing Rodimus to run his digits through the metallic silk on his body. Telling of his most vulnerable moments when the two were alone during their shift, sharing intimate fears they worry would be too dark for others. Something Rodimus appreciates greatly and does all he can to show Minimus. He knows the smaller mech has an extremely hard time expressing emotions to not only himself but others.

Rodimus tries so hard not to take these two for granted like he did Drift before his exile. Something that will forever haunt him no matter how much Minimus and Megatron tell him different. Telling the crew it wasn’t Drift’s fault and what really happened the moment his former amica came back wasn’t enough to him and so he kept giving and giving to Drift and his conjunx who suffered because of him and his mistakes.

He was so desperate to never make a mistake again with Drift and his conjunx that he let his spark be shattered without a second thought.

He knows its not healthy when he compares it to what he feels now but a part of him still hopes that one day he, Drift and Ratchet could’ve been something more.

He doesn’t hide it from Minimus and Megatron. In fact they know Megatron feels the same with a number of other mechs with Minimus feeling the same for a few others. With such long life spans and so many bots crossing their paths they assured him it was only natural.

He was so grateful for it, for them.

He forgets how much time has passed, how easy it is to get wrapped up in a world they’ve built for themselves, he never notices how long he’s been away from Drift and Ratchet.

Sure he’s talked to them in passing but nothing more than that.

It hurt at first when he realized and it hurt even more knowing they could go months without him warming their berth or visiting their hab suite when Minimus and Megatron didn’t let a cycle pass without him seeing either of them.

It helps heal a part of him that wonders if something could’ve been, a small part of it still lingers and Megatron tells him that it always will for some and that sometimes making peace with it is the best one can do, so the moment he’s tested by Drift hugging him asking to meet up and he agrees thinking nothing of it he’s surprised.

“You okay Roddy?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. But I should probably head back, now. Its kinda late.”

“Late? It’s not even close to midnight. Are you really Rodimus?”

It was a joke with slight concern and Rodimus was happy to hear it but he also had a nagging feeling he knew where the night would take them. Especially when Ratchet came in fresh from the wash racks and looked surprised to see him and winked.

He felt his tanks curl wrong and he knew it was time to go. He didn’t fault either of them since he never told them anything but also a small part of him was upset they never asked what he’d been doing after all this time.

“It was nice visiting but I should head back, gotta get everything set,” he chuckled rubbing the back of his helm and heading for the door when he was stopped by Drifts servo.

He was met with two worried looks and he knew he wasn’t getting out of this so he let the two know he might be late and he was met with immediate understanding through the bond.

“Is everything okay Roddy?”

“You’ve been distant for quite some time kid, is something wrong?”

“I uh, yeah. Everything’s fine,” and it was, really it was, it just, he wished this had happened sooner. If it had would he still be with Minimus and Megatron? Would he still be leaving the berth at midnight not wanting to impose and trying to fix mistakes he’s made for the rest of his life?

Would he be a third party frag forever or just until they got it out of their systems?

Could he have lived with just that?

Could he have been more than what he accidentally became?

‘Were we ever meant to happen in this life? In any life? Am i always destined to frag up every timeline and life I live?’

‘Are we meant to be in any life?’

“Roddy?”

“Huh?”

He realized a few kliks had passed and he was gathering fluid in his optics that thankfully didn’t fall.

“Its nothing,” he had a hard time playing it like it was nothing after vorns (months) of talking about everything.

“I’m gonna head home, see ya later kay?”

He held his arms around himself ready to leave, “I’ll meet up with you tomorrow alright?”

He’s out the door before either can say anything and crawling into the nest Megatron and Minimus insisted he make on their berth, they didn’t want him to isolate himself more than he used to and they understood his instinctual need to do so, warming it for the two and himself and allowing his processor to just float.

The only time he opens his optics is to greet Megatron and Minimus who crawl into berth with him and simply rest beside him. A kiss on each helm, a hand over each spark and they fell into recharge.

By the next cycle he smelled heavily of the two once more, it wasn’t long after onlining they merged sparks, valves and spikes.

It left each of them feeling sated, content, comforted, feeling whole.

He didn’t realize he was riding on a high so comfortably feeling at home around so many others until Drift and Ratchet tapped his shoulder plating making him startle.

“Sorry about that, Roddy. You alright? You didn’t seem to good yesterday?”

“I’m fine now,” his smile reached his optics for the first time in a very long time in front of the two and they couldn’t remember ever seeing him look that way.

“Whats got you so happy kid?”

Before Rodimus could answer truthfully, Drift sniffed him and looked visibly out of frame with shock.

“Roddy..why do you smell like..Megatron and Minimus?”

At that Ratchet raised an optic ridge and leaned a little closer trying to subtly sniff and by the look on his face plates Rodimus could tell he smelled them too.

“Kid did you frag Minimus and Megatron?”

Ratchet was as blunt as ever in his shock while Drift was halting, trying to get his emotions together. Rodimus was thankful the room was empty save for the three of them because he really didn’t want his crew in his personal affairs despite what most may think.

“Please don’t say it like that,” Rodimus cringed a little with a sigh before steeling his nerves.

When he didn’t deny Ratchets question the two looked at him with an expression he couldn’t quite decipher and it made him tilt his helm in confusion.

“I kinda lost track of time and it was my fault for not telling you sooner when I did remember but it did happen really fast and suddenly when we did it so there wasn’t time for an official ceremony, even though I keep telling them I don’t need one,” he chuckled to himself getting a little lost in memories until Ratchet yelled out.

“Ceremony?!”

“Roddy what are you talking about? You aren’t making sense here?”

Rodimus found himself looking sheepish as he couldn’t keep himself from shyly smiling, “Minimus and Megatron were courting me and we sparkbonded. We’re conjunx now. All three of us.”

There was a light in Rodimus optics that hadn’t been there for thousands of years.

The two couldn’t believe what they were hearing but it easily quickly proven true when the sound of a door opening made them snap out of their stupor to see Rodimus light up giving off little flames from his lips and olfactory sensors.

The sun like speedster made his way to Megatron whose arms were open while Minimus was on Megatrons shoulder reading a datapad. He briefly paused to give Rodimus a peck on the helm before returning to his work while Megatron rested a servo on Rodimus’s lower back strut and ushered him from the room.

Megatron and Minimus gave a curt polite nod to Drift and Ratchet while Rodimus rushed out a, “I’ll catch up with you guys later kay?” Before the three were off leaving behind a stunned Drift and Ratchet who couldn’t believe their optics.

-

I feel i got carried away writing this & forgot Dratchet were trying to woo Rodimus, sorry about that. I definitely love your idea & the angst of unrequited love between dratchrod with megaminis scooping roddy up & saying mine.

[ellestra]

Going in circles

There has been a lot of talk about how Gen V is about social media and stage parents but the underlying theme of this season is the cycle of violence that leads to abuse and revenge cycles. It's a positive feedback loop that makes .

Since Gen V is inspired by The Boys comic arc that was a parody of X-Men this is something that was, of course, always staple of X-Men comics/movies/shows. But X-Men stories in their core tend to be optimistic/aspirational. The Boys universe is much more cynical than that. In the end bad guys win or they at least spin their loses their way so they can hold on to power.

Marie, Jordan, Andre and Emma really believed in the ideas sold to them by the marketing team. But the humans they were trying to save were exactly the ones who never treated them to people. Ones who perpetuated the cycles f abuse - from the moment they were given Compound V to all the stages of deciding who is and isn't valuable. They aren't the ones who lead Vought when it all started but they do the same thing again and again because it's profitable. And when it comes to bite them they try to weasel their way out of any responsibility by appealing to the better nature of those who they abused. And so, so many real life abuses seem to use this to escape culpability. Using the "be better than those who wrong you" as the most cynical way to save their own asses.

It doesn't mean that the rest of the non-powered humans don't have a reason to blame supes. Both the Boys and Shetty are not wrong in the assessment that supes always will a leave a trail of blood behind them - both intentional and accidental. From powers manifesting in the disastrous way, through accidents while using them to abuses of power to avoid consequences and finally malice. Supes are human and do exactly the same things but their impact is so much greater and so is their body count. It's gets horrifying because she's not blaming Vought who created this whole problem. Instead she's uses Vought's own torture factory to try her hand at genocide. It's hard to really feel bad about Cardosa and Shetty's death when we just saw them killing some kids in even more horrible way.

Cate was betrayed by every human she trusted. And the worst was that even though Shetty loved her she still drugged her to dampen her powers (those blue pills reference even more clear after latest Matrix movie) and then used her to help with genocide of her own kind. So she gathers all other abused supes and they all go on a rampage because how you can ever trust any one of them if they even corrupt love like that. Being one of "the good ones" didn't really work out. And because this is the time where the ultimate power of Vought propaganda machine lies with a supe it's all swept under the rug by Homelander.

He's done appealing to mudnon-powered people . The one place X-Men doesn't really go in stories like that is the people who go against their own interests because the ideology allows them to feel superior to another group. And they think they'd be spared. It's the voting for Leopards Eating People's Faces Party all over again. Homelander knows now that there are humans who still will follow him (steeped in American exceptionalism and dreams of ubermensch as he is - BTW I don't think it's a coincidence that both Cate and Sam are the kind of Guardians of Godolkin Stormfront would approve of unlike original versions). He just needs supes who think the same as him instead of believing things like non-powered humans are human too. Someone who is not going to bulk at thing he wants to do.

And the boys would do anything to stop him. I'm pretty sure the virus is not out of the picture yet. Between Neumann container and Butcher finding the infected bodies there still might be attempt to use it. After all it's still in pre fully genocidal form. And Marie surviving Homelander's blast may have taught Neumann she might have enough time to pop Homelander's head - especially if he's a bit sick.

In this cycle people who try to stop it are also part of the problem. It too often leads to letting those in power stay in power so the injustices can carry on. Marie uses the system that was designed against her to stop the massacre and it hurts her too. Andre risks brain damage saving helicopter coming to rescue Vought Board. Jordan almost gets overwhelmed and mind controlled protecting them. And Vought will continue doing what they did to babies and any supe they deem faulty product. Believing the heroes will come and save them gets them locked in a doorless room.

We see how appealing to their opponents better nature doesn't work. Maverick cannot break mind control. Sam chose it over conscience. All Emma gets for trying is being made to feel small.

In the end all trying to be heroic got them is being labelled as traitor and scapegoated. And I don't think it's an accident that of this group only Emma is white (although it's nice that the only couple that survived this in neither includes white people nor is straight).

And so the cycle goes. Non-powered humans abuse supes and supes abuse those humans and each sides has a list of atrocities perpetrated on them they use to justify to atrocities they commit. While the people who caused and profit from it this stay in power.

This is even made even more relevant by real life events reminding us about the real, horrible human toll of such cycles hatred. The real excuses that are used to justify violence against innocents by feeding populations a revenge fantasy dressed as justice aren't all that different. And so isn't using it to keep power and gather more assets. But in stories we can hope good guys will eventually win. History teaches us that, in real life, it always ends with those having power behind them getting all the spoils. Everyone can count themselves lucky if they get a half-assed apology too late to count for anything.

[ironbloodaika]

Happy Halloween 2023!

This is something long overdue. Even though I stopped posting my commissions on here that doesn't mean I've stopped getting them!

I've especially enjoyed getting Halloween commissions because those are really fun to conceive, order, and see made into reality. I've especially enjoyed getting them from Aeolus06 and he's never disappointed. Sadly due to me being between jobs I couldn't get any this year. :( That said I've decided to use this as an opportunity to show what I've got over the last few years and hopefully you'll love them as much as I do! :)

These first four are unique in that these were all from the same year (2020 to be exact). Since Aeo has a cool down period between commissions, I actually got these all done over a period of a few months. XD Took a lot of luck and prayer, but I got all the ideas I wanted done!

First one was probably the most complex, but was worth it because of how well it fit. Star, Marco, and Hekapoo from Star vs The Forces of Evil as AndrAIa, Matrix, and Older!AndrAIa from Reboot! Much like Matrix, Marco had a bit of age jumping that fit naturally (especially body types and eye scars). Plus Star and Hekapoo are shipped pretty hard with him so it was natural they dress as the different versions of Matrix's lady love.

Also, Fun Fact: Marco's scar/prosthetic eye is on the wrong side compared to his costume, but I felt it was better to ignore it than have Aeo flip the entire costume. XD

Next up we had some classic hotties from Canada, Lindsay and Courtney. Everyone with a pulse will know I'm a Courtney fan, so I'm always eager to give her some love. And while I'm not AS big on Lindsay, she's a fun character and I have some friends who love her too so I didn't mind them sharing the spotlight.

Obviously the theme/inspiration behind this pics conception is the fact Lindsay and Courtney pack the biggest T and A on the island respectively, so they needed some costumes to illustrate that. Thus we got Courtney as everyone's fave lady wrestler Rainbow Mika from Street Fighter and Lindsay as the boxing cheerleader Tiffany Lords from Rival Schools. Both ladies who kick ass and look good doing it! Give these ladies some love folks!

Another Fun Fact: This one took faster to do than I expected, mostly cause I didn't realize my refs were thigh high. In the end I feel it still looked good and didn't bother bringing it up. XD

Here's another cute couple and one I think deserves more love. Eclipsa Butterfly and Globgor are also from SVTFOE and honestly very sweet and adorable. While they're regarded as evil by less tolerant folk, they're honestly some of the sweetest characters you'll see on the show. I feel this is a nice contrast to their costumes, Sindel and Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat. I went with the MK9 versions of their outfits since they were both modern and simple. Didn't wanna be THAT guy who commissions SUPER complicated outfits. I'm not a sadist! While later games would retcon Sindel into being just as evil as Shao (something thankfully corrected in MK1) I still feel this outfit and character works for Eclipsa, even if she and her hubby are as far from evil as you can get. XD

Final pic of this year is another couples pic with Danny Fenton and Paulina Sanchez. I ship these two and take no shame in it. This was originally gonna just be Paulina as Phantom Girl from Legion of Superheroes since the name and colors matched Danny perfectly. But then I figured just having Paulina in costume wouldn't be fair, so I had him dress up as Timberwolf, since I recall them having a few moments in the cartoon. A cartoon, much like this pairing, is very underrated. XD

Now to 2021! This was a fun crossover and and me deciding to avoid "themes" and combining two character pin-ups in one! Once again we have Hekapoo and this year she's dressed up as Otedamako. Who's that? Only my fave Monster of the Day from Sailor Moon! :3 To her side with have a humanoid Rarity showing off her darkside as Martha from Helluva Boss! This one came from the animated opening in G5 that had Rarity showing off some spiky teeth and a crazy look in her eyes. IMMEDIATELY brought Martha too mind. All and all, very happy with how these two came out!

And now to the prior year of 2022. By this point Aeo started coloring the stream commissions and honestly, it was worth the price increase. Dude is a machine! If this one has a theme it's basically me taking the waifus of my close friends (Chill, Terrible, and Raccoon) and dressing them as other sexy waifus. From left to right we have Himiko Toga from My Hero Academia dressed as Harlequin, the Harley Quinn of the Gods and Monsters film. A very hot/underrated design for a VERY twisted take on the character. Toga makes it work! Front and center we have Wilhamena Mettle from OK K.O.! as Starfire, specifically the comic book version for obvious reasons. XD Finally we have Juri Han from Street Fighter dressed in the tight leathers of Penelope Spectra from Danny Phantom, specifically her second form. Lot of specifics in this piece. XD

Final Fun Fact: Was tempted to have Wilhamena as Star Canary, the fusion of Starfire and Black Canary from the Batman/Superman comic. Very hot design. XD

And a bit of a bonus! I ended up really helping out a new friend on deviantART back in 2020 and got to get a bit of art as a thank you. Courtesy of XJKenny we have Meteora Butterfly, daughter of Eclipsa and Globgor as Mileena. Also her MK9 design, this not only works for Meteora herself given her story, but also matches up with her parents' costumes as well!

Well that's everything I wanted to share this year! This has been a rough year for me personally and for the world as a whole. But I'm hoping we can turn things around a bit with what bit of the year we have left.

Happy Halloween everyone! Stay scared and stay safe! 👻 🎃

[misscammiedawn]

I Am Also A We - Integration and Functional Multiplicity in sense8

CW: sense8 depicts suicide, transphobia, medical trauma, deadnaming, chronic alcoholism, drug abuse, homophobia, homophobic slurs, intense sexual themes, plays sexual assault towards men for humor. Check DoesTheDogDie for more information.

If you watch the show be warned the first episodes involve a family forcefully trying to (allegorically) detransition a transgender woman and circumvent her agency in a medical setting. This may be more than most can handle.

"I've been thinking about my life, and all of the mistakes that I've made. The ones that stay with me, the ones that I regret, are the ones that I made because of fear. For a long time, I was afraid to be who I am because I was taught by my parents that there's something wrong with someone like me. Something offensive, something you would avoid, maybe even pity. Something that you could never love. My mom, she's a fan of St. Thomas Aquinas. She calls pride a sin. And of all the venal and mortal sins, St. Thomas saw pride as the queen of the seven deadlies. He saw it as the ultimate gateway sin that would turn you quickly into a sinaholic. But hating isn't a sin on that list. Neither is shame. I was afraid of this parade because I wanted it so badly to be a part of it. So today, I'm marching for that part of me that was once afraid to march and for all the people who can't march - the people who living lives like I did. Today, I march to remember that I'm not just a me but I'm also a we. And we march with pride." Nomi Marks (sense8 - Season 1, Episode 2)

Humans are fascinating and varied creatures.

Imagine for a moment, a transgender hactivist in San Francisco, a closeted homosexual movie star in Mexico City, a cop in Chicago, a Nordic expat DJ living in London, an orphaned gangster in Berlin, a bus driver in Nairobi who has never lived in a home with running water, a Hindu bio-chemist in Mumbai and a kickboxer in Seoul whose father owns a powerful investment firm.

Lives so disparate that it would be simple to create walls of division to keep them wholly separate and incapable of acting as a whole...

And yet the show is all about erasing the division between people and as the show goes on these 8 people with all their unique and individual perspectives and backgrounds, will become one and many. A collective as one.

That seems like something I may want to talk a little about.

sense8 is a Netflix drama that ran for 2 seasons (and had 2 specials) between 2015-2018. Created by the Wachowski Sisters of Matrix fame and J Michael Straczynski of Babylon 5 fame.

It is a show about radical empathy, the full spectrum of the human experience and the virtues of living openly and connected in the face of a world that pressures the marginalized to hide and remain divided.

Yet in listening to our contributors, especially those with Indigenous ties or who identify as people of color and/or not bound by the ties of Western medicine, dissociation as it’s been described so far [...] can mean many things that are not helpful. A general consensus from these contributors is that trauma survivors ought never be shamed for doing what they have to do in order to survive, especially because so many of the contexts into which people are born promote division, disconnection, and marginalization. Usually this context is shaped by a dominant culture that relies on separation in its most unhelpful and wounding sense to uphold the power that the dominant culture so readily craves. (Dissociation Made Simple - Jamie Marich)

To acknowledge the flaws in both shows and creators, The Wachowski's tend to have a lens of privilege and blind spots to their works that undermine their messages of radical empathy, most famously their fumble in the diversity of Cloud Atlas' cast and the use of white actors in Asian roles (Natalie Portman was originally offered the role that went to Bae Doona).

sense8 is not immune to this and does have issues with connecting the 8 main characters without consideration to certain biases. Some mild examples are that the Christmas special having all 8 unanimously celebrating the Christian holiday (including a Hindu and a character with religious trauma centered on Christianity specifically) to the unchecked Copaganda and the show completely erases asexuality as a valid lifestyle with dialogue even going as far to say that sex is why we exist and to deny it is to deny being human.

Also as someone with an extreme aversion to depictions of suicide... this show does like to offer suicide as The Only Way Out a lot. The show opens on a suicide and the final episode involves no fewer than 3 attempts by various characters when they are cornered. One even succeeds. Lana's experience with her suicide attempt was important to her coming out as a trans woman. A version of that moment is even depicted in the 4th Matrix movie with Neo (allegorically Lana herself) helping someone else wake to their own identity in a suicide attempt. I do not want to rob her of the transformative power of that event and memory. It's clearly important to her and her work, but it's troublesome that averted suicide attempts are always depicted virtuously in her work. Again... it's a matter of blind spots and biases.

I acknowledge the show is flawed in these and many more respects but it does speak to empathy and connection in a way that though not perfectly placed upon the screen, is a message worth internalizing. Though it's okay to be uncomfortable with how it is presented and opt out.

Regardless of imperfect execution and the early cancellation, it is still a miracle of a show. In many ways it is a show that shouldn't exist. It cost $9 million per episode and its filming schedule required flying between 11 cities for 3 weeks of shooting a piece. It features full nudity, multiple sex scenes involving huge swaths of the cast at once.

To put all of that in perspective, the entire experience is literally bookended by a rainbow strap-on glistening from use.

But... this is not a show about dissociative disorders. Mental illness is only represented in that characters briefly question their sanity. So why am I talking about it in my Media, Myself and I essay series on positive representation of dissociative disorders in fiction?

Well... it just so happens to also feature the best depiction of Functional Multiplicity in all of television.

Functional Multiplicity or "Integration" is a goal in treating complex dissociative disorders where the dissociative system are able to function as a single person with minimal division between parts.

It is important to note that intergration and fusion are two separate concepts and are both valid outcomes for treatment within CDD therapy. Where fusion is the concept of merging all dissociated personalities into a single unified personality, integration allows the system to communicate and cooperate with full access to memories and skills with no inner-conflict exacerbating symptoms.

The final approach in Fraser’s article addresses the issue of fusion or integration, a strong area of potential controversy for those diagnosed with or identifying as DID. Many individuals with DID strongly resist or oppose a psychiatrist or any other provider’s insistence that they integrate the various aspects of their personality into a cohesive whole. This process can feel disrespectful to the members of a system, and if you are reading this passage and have ever felt triggered at the suggestion that you need to integrate, you are not alone. (Dissociation Made Simple - Jamie Marich)

The terms “dissociation” and “integration” have long been synonymous with one another—meant to signify that the only reasonable goal in working with splitting and compartmentalization must be the fusing together of dissociated parts to create one single “homogenized” adult. Daniel Siegel, however, makes a strong case against defining integration as fusion. He asserts (2010a) a different view: “Integration requires differentiation and linkage.” Before we can integrate two phenomena, we have to differentiate them and “own” them as separate entities. We can’t simply “act as if” they are connected without noticing their separateness. But, having clearly differentiated them so they can be studied and befriended, we then have to link them together in a way that fosters a transformed sense of the client’s experience, facilitating healing and reconnection. - (Healing the Fragmented Selves - Janina Fischer)

Acknowledging the separateness and clearly differentiating people to befriend, link and foster a transformed sense of experience, facilitating healing and connection.

Now that sounds like sense8 to me.

As mentioned above the shows protagonists are from different walks of life. Nomi, Lito, Will, Riley, Wolfgang, Capheus, Kala and Sun are all "born" into a "cluster", a nest of 8 connected minds who share their every thought and experience with one another.

The core 8 are able to share control of one another's bodies as well as speak telepathically in one another's heads. "Sharing" and "Visiting" respectively, if we are to play the YA Novel game of naming every single concept in a fictional world.

Each character has their strengths and weaknesses and connections that make up for their weaknesses.

To give an example Lito is an actor who has a little bit of a diva streak. He's good at lying under pressure, he can flirt with women effortlessly, he is deeply in touch with his emotions and he lives in absolute terror of his homosexual lifestyle being discovered for fear it will ruin his career and the comfort he has earned in life.

Wolfgang is ruthless and blunt and so leans on Lito's ability to lie under pressure, something that he is typically incapable of doing because he does not value roundabout methods of deception when he can just brute force his way to solutions. Lito helps him lie when the situation calls for it.

Sun is emotionally repressed, choosing to work her emotions through her fists, though she is one of the most privileged members of the cluster she has more than enough reason to be sad with a father who refused to show her love, the worst brother on the planet, a dead mother and a plot that involves her being wrongfully imprisoned and subject to multiple assassination attempts. She can offer the rest of the cluster her fighting skills but it is Lito who helps her to be able to cry when she needs it. In a beautiful scene late in season 2 a depressed Lito is crying in Sun's hotel room and Sun admonishes him saying that she is the one with reason to cry and Lito responds plainly "But you never would. Maybe that is why I am here."

On the flipside whenever Lito is in conflict about his life in the closet he pulls up Nomi, a transgender woman who has been through the entire coming out process, and leans heavily on her.

Though it takes much of the first season for the characters to understand what is happening to them we eventually get to see all 8 of them completely at home with one another's thoughts and perspectives.

They are separate, yes. But they are of one mind.

This is akin to the end result of trauma focused parts work in therapy. When a person is not yet treated for trauma based dissociation their inability to integrate their experiences creates a fracture and a disharmony that breeds emotional volatility and a breakdown in inner experience.

Disowning requires selective attention, a focusing away from whatever is “not me.” The senses fail to register what is taking place around us; we don’t feel our emotional responses, good or bad; we are in a zone. We can’t “own” our anger or dependence or fear when we don’t feel them. We can’t “own” traumatic events that we haven’t witnessed. We can’t know ourselves as whole human beings because only those qualities valued in a traumatic environment are accessible to consciousness. Segregating intense feelings, though, results in affect intolerance: if we can escape our emotions by automatically and involuntarily shifting into a different part of the self or different feeling state, we never get the opportunity to exercise our “emotional muscles,” and all feelings gradually become more and more intolerable. Inner conflicts are never resolved, just distanced. When that happens, acting out (self-destructively or addictively) and “acting in” (through self-hatred, self-judgment, punitive introspection) become the only avenues for regulating emotions and autonomic arousal. Splitting or fragmentation must become more complex and creative. - (Healing the Fragmented Selves - Janina Fischer)

As the main cluster of the show are able to expand their horizons via empathy and connection to one another they are able to challenge their blind spots and achieve a level of comfort in their world that was not accessible before. From our above example Sun can process her emotions thanks to Lito.

In a similar fashion, in Season 2 Kala becomes guilty about her lifestyle because she discovers that the company she works for is sending inferior medication to Capheus' region of the world and through experiencing life through Capheus' eyes she is aware of her position of privilege and uses her power to make positive change.

Had the show have been able to continue on this empathy would have been the center of the show with Capheus running for political office, Lito embracing his role as a queer icon who can inspire others and Riley risking exposure by touring her music and making contact with other sensates.

Alas. We'll never get the promised potential of the show's premise.

Another factor that was promised but was not fully paid off on was the concept of blockers.

In the show other sensates could visit (but not share) with a single member of a cluster if they make eye contact (Cloud Atlas which shared 3 directors and 3 writers with this show also included this concept of eye contact creating a human connection) and the only way to prevent their intrusion was to take blockers. A medication that cut off their empathetic connections and turned off their psychic ability.

The blocker allegory was about masking and hiding and working to blend in with the dominant culture without standing out. Part of the show's humanity was the characters wishing to go against the narrative that they needed to hide and to live loud and proud and inspire others to do the same.

It would have been interesting to see each of the sensates on blockers learning to act in ways their cluster would without being able to let them take control of their body. Show that the integration of the system is not a matter of separate parts in their own boxes but a cluster that is fully connected and capable of sharing their sole life.

To go back to my discussion on functional multiplicity, the concept of being able to share memories and skills is emphasized as a part of both integration and fusion models.

Sharing roles, responsibilities or tasks also enables other parts to help the System’s successful functioning in the outside world. Then, these parts can grow and mature individually. It also gives the System the opportunity to feel first-hand appreciation for what parts have done and contributed to the System’s survival and success, as well as better understanding of what it takes to keep the System functioning well today. (Got Parts? - ATW)

We are all in this together.

A beautiful thing that the show displays outside of the core cluster is the radical empathy and acceptance that exist within the side characters.

In the final episode of the show Wolfgang's surrogate brother and only true family Felix arrives to the help the cluster Capheus rushes over to him and embraces him exclaiming "MY BROTHER, FELIX!" and laughing with joy. This was Capheus' first time meeting Felix but the empathetic connection travels between them.

The same connection causes Kala's love for her husband to be felt by Wolfgang and allow the three of them to engage in a polyamorous relationship. The final orgy scene of the show literally climaxes with Kala's non-psychic husband exclaiming "My god, I didn't think such things were possible" after a threesome with his wife and Wolfgang who share the same love for him. This is the very last line of the show.

In a dissociative system conflict can breed between parts that are not integrated when their needs, desires and drives are not in alignment.

To give an example from our own life, Wynn is a part that is capable of turning off our empathy. When she perceives a threat to us from the idea of someone emotionally manipulating us (a parent trying to shame/guilt us into ceding to their demands or a partner threatening suicide) she will lock out the rest of the system who may be swayed and force us to act with hostility and coldness. More than once this has ended with us in further danger or emotional turmoil and it leads other parts to over compensate to try and "fix" the damage done when we were "emotionally compromised" by the part acting in our interests of survival over the harmony of the system and our relationships. Especially because the dangerous situations that necessitated her existence are not part of our present and her reactions may no longer be appropriate.

This kind of divide is natural in a dissociative system early in their healing journey.

The range of emotional experience, including both positive (e.g., joy, love) and negative (e.g., anger, fear, grief) affects, plays a vital role in human adaptation by promoting closeness in relationships. Relational distortions result when emotions repeatedly fail to achieve their purpose, when they are persistently activated, or when their expression is blocked or punished. Distortions in emotional regulation (and associated defensive distortions of behavior) refl ect distortions in care (Bowlby, 1969/1982) that manifest as dysynchronies between caregiving behavior and child emotional experience and needs (Sameroff & Emde, 1989) [...] A lasting split between self-preservation and integrative self-regulation leads to a vicious cycle. Extreme affective states become infused into the person’s selfand other-representations (“bad objects,” Benatar, 2003), producing disorganized and unstable mental representations, which further destabilize and fragment affect, perception, and behavior. Thus, dissociation results when extreme stressors necessitate a lasting split of the integrated relationship between self-preservation and selfregulation. (Dissociation and Dissociative Disorders, DSM-V and Beyond - Paul F Dell)

But towards the end of therapy parts, even when activated, are able to act in a way that benefits the stability of the shared life, preventing further dissociation and division between parts.

It is when one part, who wants to deny our condition to prevent thinking about our trauma, accepts that our multiple nature is integral to who we are and how one of our closest relationships function and in accepting this allows for us to carve spaces in our life to exist as a system. To take off the mask. To stop hiding.

To march and state boldly I Am Also A We.

There are times where we worry about using the term "Plural". We view our condition through a lens of psychopathology and constantly try to justify our existence through reading psychology textbooks and working with our therapist and constantly justifying.

We play by the rule books written for us and about us but not by us. Not by others like us. Well... mostly.

One of the quoted books in this essay is from Jamie Marich who is openly a diagnosed dissociative system. Her book is written from an insiders perspective there to promote love and acceptance. I selected her quote at the top of this post with care. She does get it. Got Parts? Is also written by collaborators with DID sharing lived experience.

There are so many things which divide us as people who experience plurality. There is syscourse raging in Tumblr inboxes Just Asking Questions about whether a person should be diagnosed to openly present as a system, there is fakeclaiming trying to witch hunt those who really have a CDD and those who are "roleplaying", the tone policing in support communities that admonish anyone who glorifies or fetishizes that which is a hard to live with disorder...

Over the years we internalized many of these narratives ourselves. We lived in fear of scrutiny, worried for the day we were exposed as Not Traumatized Enough, Not Performing Our Disability Correctly, Not Divided Enough or a number of other accusations.

We still are. It's terrifying to think that at any point someone could just deny all of our truth and no amount of paperwork, testimony or evidence would be able to make us any more legitimate than we already are.

In some regards we shouldn't be proud of being who and what we are. The fact that there is always going to be a part of us stuck in London reliving the worst experiences of our life is not a source of pride.

But we survived.

We survived. We kept one another alive. The part that needed to be an adult when we were a child kept us safe. The part that needed to seal off our heart kept us safe. The part that kept our emotions alive kept us safe. The part that pretended to be what our abuser wanted us to be kept us safe... and yes. The part that handled erotic concepts kept us safe.

We survived and we protected one another and we are the only Family who have been here the whole time. Experienced everything. Shared in all the pleasures and all the joys. We survived. And we will continue to... but not we're not surviving anymore. We're living. And we choose to live together. We choose to be 5 and 1. We are an I.

I am proud of that and this show helped us feel just a little bit more confident in saying that outloud. We are plural... and there is no shame in that. None at all.

-

Forgive me for the less than stellar work on this one. This essay was more a vehicle to talk about positive integration and use the show as a framing device for the topic. Plus I just wanted to be a bit Plural Pride because the show made a compelling argument as to why I should be.

The promised Act 6 of In Stars and Time essay and the Umineko follow-up essay are both in the research phase. Act 6 of ISaT is looking at characters who share a common history and I want to make sure I have some good examples without treading on other creators I respect's toes and the Umineko follow-up requires replaying all of Chapter 7 of that game and it's a long one.

Media, Myself and I is a series of Tumblr Essays for positive depictions of dissociative disorders.

Other essays include:

Time Loops and Dissociation (In Stars and Time) A History of Murder Alters Discworld and Plurality Incidental, intentional and accidental representation Gender, Dissociation and Clinical Stigma in The Third Person Recontextualized Memories in Umineko Derealization in Night in the Woods and Metal Gear Solid The Dangers of Hypnotic Personality Play in Penlight System Origins in The Incredible Hulk Relationships with Systems in The Incredible Hulk The Healing Journey in Mr. Robot

[onepunchcatboi]

PATCH STORY SPOILERS

I have thoughts! They are below! Please remember that we are a DawnTrail-Critical household!

[Not in the sense that I hate it but I actually really loved a lot about it but that I think the writing was extremely mixed]

WE FINALLY. GOT TO HAVE. OUR TACOS.

!!!!

Ok for real now-first of all really loving everything going on with my beloved Dawn Throne family. Wuk Lamat is being amazing as usual. I love that we got closure about Koanas folks [cuz like, c'mon there was no way it went down as he remembered as like 2 year old LOL;;]. LOVE THAT HE REALLY STOOD BETWEEN A RONEEK AND A GIANT CHARGING DINO OF DOOM LIKE THAT WAS GOING TO STOP IT YOU WEIGHT LIKE 120LBS KOANA LOL

And I love that we've finally got something about Galool Ja and who his mom was, even if everything about it was so sad and broken from the start. I figured it would have to be, given Zoraal Ja's staunch denial of the child's presence. It still hits the right amount of tragic in the reveal of it all.

Also very excited that yes, Y'Shtola will be bothering me to examine the magical maguffin, even if I still don't like that it exists lol.

But also

You know

SO LIKE

Yo.

I can't even.

And I'm not even talking about hologram Sphene. BUT ALSO I AM 100% SURE HER ATTENDANT DID IT. OR SOMEONE CLOSE TO HER. Someone rebooted the system and then yoinked themselves back into the matrix.

ANYWAYS. I MEAN THE REAL SPHENE. THE ONE Y'SHTOLA JUST FOUND IN LIVING MEMORY.

I just. Its gotta be her, bleary eyed and confused about where the fuck she is. I'M CONFUSED TOO THE AETHER JUST SPAT HER BACK OUT FULLY FORMED. She sounds like she just woke up from dying!

At first I was just too mad about the whole thing with AI Sphene being back to think too much on it. On the extremely sus set up of it all, and what those neo regulators are *really for* bc you know Wuk Lamat is right. The AI Sphene we know was prepared to sacrifice the whole damn universe to save all her people, not just a few. Whoever this is realizes they only have so many resources to do this with.

BUT NOW WE HAVE REAL SPHENE IN THE MIX TOO. AND GUYS I UH...REALLY HOPE THIS PLAYS OFF WELL.

Because AI Sphene was a monster, cute smile and all, and I did not enjoy how hard the narrative tried to make us see her as a good person, or how inactive we were about it. Wuk Lamat is new to this, but we, and not just the WoL, but Alisae too, were right there and never said anything about how much this resembles past foes.

But guys. Real Sphene has the possibility of making all that just...a little bit less annoying. I hope. It wont fix the first half's writing issues, but it can turn it in a better direction. Especially if what it is, is that the writers decided to play the long game in terms of their two story halves more so than they have in the past.

Imagine. Queen Sphene wakes up. Finds the kingdom has lived far beyond her expectations. They survived and are wondrous and innovative...and they are also throwing the cycle of life and death out of wack. They are forgetting themselves and each other for the solace of avoiding death and pain. They are hurting others to do it. They are being lead by someone who looks like her, but has no compassion for anyone outside her own kingdom. If Sphene is even half the person the AI made her out to be...then she would be heartbroken to see what has become of her kingdom. And she has the power and authority to stop it.

The story has made a point to say "we don't know what the real Sphene would have wanted". Well shes here now, and boy wouldn't it be fucking amazing, if she said "not any of this".

It has real potential now too, to talk about the difference between the memory and actuality. How memory can distort and change over time, be a shadow of the truth. And...idk that they are going to go this route, but if Sphene is not going to be the only one to come back from Living Memory-then all the Alexandrians have to be confronted with those they forgot. Fucking imagine coming back from the dead only to find none of your loved ones even remember who you are?? What would even be the point?

I also. Really just want this to happen in the middle of the square in Solution 9:

WE COULD BE GOING PLACES PEOPLE!!!

[nova--spark]

All I can think of is June having to explain biology to a bunch of bots that only have knowledge of it either through biology texts, offhand comments from a bunch of high schoolers, and educated guesses.

Lots of incidents of the bots being caught entirely unprepared by the feeling of being hungry, forgetting to drink water, overheating, and generally being hot messes.

The first time a cold gets passed around the base, there's a full on panic after Ratchet, who is one of the oldest, struggles to get rid of it while Bee and Smokescreen barely notice they are sick.

Also, VACCINES! There's a dozen unvaccinated, presumably immunocompromised adults running around Jasper. (I am just going to presume that they are immunocompromised just because Quintessa is a jerk like that) add the petri dish that is a public high school, and Ratchet, Ultra Magnus, and Optimus are going to be CONSTANTLY sick with some flu, cold, or stomach bug that's infected Jasper high. It doesn't matter if the kids use every precaution (they won't even think to do so). The bots are going to be miserable at some point.

Oh my dear sweet bots, they're going to be in heavy need of full medical check ins from June and everything is chaos.

With the variety of ages, they ALL needed vaccines, so sore arms all around, especially Smokescreen and Bee who needed the most being the youngest.

Somehow, Optimus is the hardiest if only because of the Matrix, because though his biology change, he is still plenty healthy and strong.

After that? June had to take quite a few weeks off work, but then again, now that she worked as Unit: E's nurse [ with a more than healthy salary thanks to the government ], she could do it and spend that time telling the bots all about human biology and what to expect from a medical aspect.

Safe to say, some talks were awkward, some were intriguing, and some were downright gross.

Ratchet actually was quick to learn, and with the old memories of when Raf was injured all those years ago, picked up all the knowledge he could in order to help June care for his team.

Though, of course, when colds, flus, and other smaller sicknesses hit, there was hell to be had as they tried to get through them.

Bee and Smoke would be done with it in a few days, whereas Ratchet and Optimus had harder times with things.

Changes of clothes were acquired by many a trip to local thrift stores, and thankfully avoided most of the overheating under the Nevada sun, though the kids also always made sure everyone had a water bottle [ Miko had spend an entire day decorating sturdy metal ones for each teammate ] and were reminded to hydrate as necessary.

Each meal was had as a family, and the bots were quite delighted to taste foods of all kinds. Jack and June would make many a standard American meal, Rafael got a hold of his mother's Latin American recipes and so made many fun meals, Fowler pitched in with some old Southern soul foods , and Miko had a blast teaching them all how to use chopsticks to eat ramen, sushi, udon and many a Japanese meal.

It was gonna take getting used to, but...well, it was certainly fun regardless, to adjust to being a full blown human huh?

[jadeglas]

Cora "Surge" Lee

Cora is a 29 year old sanctioned superhero with the ability to control electricity. She goes by the alias "Surge".

Cora's powers manifested later in life than usual, in a private setting with no casualties. The situation was so unusual, and her powers were so strong, that the SRB all but demanded that she immediately begin training to control them in a supervised setting. To the rest of the world - Cora's friends, co-workers, and brothers - this is when Cora began her "clerical job" for the SSD. Only she and her parents know about her powers and her training to become not only a sanctioned super, but also to join the ranks of the SSD as a super. Cora has spent the better part of the last decade training to be able to control her powers. She tries to hide it, but she's terrified that she'll hurt someone or worse while in the field. She takes comfort in the fact that she hasn't "gone live" in the field yet, but is getting stressed at the hints her mentor keeps dropping that this will change soon.

Cora has trouble picking up on subtle social cues. She avoids eye contact when overwhelmed and, when she's especially tired, she has trouble finding her words when speaking, which sometimes makes her sound confused. She has a spinning ring that lets her stim subtly in public, but also has a super soft plushie on her key ring - it smells like lavender and cedar and vanilla, and she'll breathe in the smell when she's overwhelmed, if she's able to.

Julia Santos, known as "Striker" in the field, is Cora's mentor and instructor. While not neurodivergent herself, two of her children are, and the combination of patience and firmness she shows with Cora have been instrumental to her progress in training. Julia's opinion is that Cora needs to get out in the field, worrying that the younger woman will never choose to take on live missions if left to her own devices.

Cora uses a combination of alarms, colors, and the Eisenhower matrix to keep herself on schedule and avoid overwhelm. Red tasks are important and urgent. Yellow tasks are urgent, but not important. Green tasks are important but not urgent. Blue tasks are neither important nor urgent. She sometimes accidentally uses this coloring system in conversations with people outside of her small social circle and gets embarrassed when she does.

Cora loses her appetite when extremely tired or stressed. She keeps a large number of veggie flavored instant noodle cups for these occasions, as it's almost the only thing she can force herself to eat. The only person who can get her to eat anything else when she's like this is Marek. The combination of his cooking skills and his gentle but firm insistence keep her eating "real" foods when she otherwise couldn't stand the thought. She also can't stand mushy foods and will gag if she eats something too mushy by accident. Aside from that, she likes spicy food and almost anything Piña colada flavored.

She lives with a roommate, a colleague and fellow SSD trainee from work named Maria who is her closest female friend. The common areas of the apartment they share are mismatched and eclectic, but functional and comfortable. In Cora's room, the walls are covered in posters of her favorite video games and anime shows. Aside from these decorations, Cora's room is a cluttered mess that only she, Marek, and Jai can decipher. The fact that her bed is always swamped in soft blankets doesn't help the situation, but it is large enough for her and Marek to fall asleep cuddling on when he stays over, so she refuses to ever properly clean up her "nest".

The apartment is located in a nice neighborhood, within walking distance of SSD headquarters. It's also only about a 10-minute drive from Marek's place, although Cora doesn't have a car of her own. Maria isn't fond of Cora's clutter, and Cora doesn't like it when Maria brings romantic partners into their home, but they manage to work things out. Maria really doesn't like Marek, either, often referring to him as "that creep" if he's not present. She realizes how naive Cora is about some things and, based on her own life experiences, worries that Marek is either leading Cora on or setting her up to take advantage of her. Maria has a bit of a crush on Jai, but Cora hasn't picked up on that yet. Maria's hometown is in west Texas, about a 4 hour drive away, so she goes to visit and catch up with her family every few months or so.

Cora has a plant she struggles to remember to water, and she loves playing Minecraft and Katamari Damacy to relax and reset her mental calm. She doesn't have a life goal outside of mastering her powers. She's been terrified of them for so long that she feels guilty for working on other projects when she could be improving her control. She is a big Tolkien fan, though, and has very strong opinions about The Lord of the Rings movies (which were epic) and The Hobbit movies (the later 2 of the 3 were a crime against Tolkien).

Cora has never put words to it, but she naturally has strong submissive tendencies. She's naturally inclined to show obedience to those in authority and she feels more comfortable following someone else's directions than she does making her own decisions. She feels self-conscious about these aspects of herself, and she sometimes overcompensates as Surge to try to hide them. The only person she allows to see really this side of herself is Marek, although Jai has caught glimpses of it. She likes how Marek takes care of her when she's overwhelmed and will often, but not always, instinctively obey when he uses his deeper voice to tell her to do something.

Marek Zima and Jai Leo are Cora's very best friends. She met them at the beginning of her freshman year of high school, brand new not just to the school, but also to San Padua and Texas, itself.

Her relationship with Jai, who's a year older, is very sibling-like: they'll prank each other, take each other's things without asking, and generally be as annoying as possible to each other, but they'll also come to each other's defense in a heartbeat. Their favorite bonding activities are playing Minecraft on their shared server and picking on Marek.

Her relationship with Marek is more complicated. They share a unique dynamic - their friendship isn't romantic or sexual, but platonic in an intense, intimate way that confuses anyone who doesn't know them well. It also includes dominant/submissive aspects that sometimes lean toward codependency. Cora's submissive tendencies come out when she's stressed and tired, so she'll frequently turn to Marek, asking him to decide things for her when she's overwhelmed and, although she'll often act snarky and argue with him, she'll nearly always follow his instructions and directions, especially if he uses the lower, rougher registers of his voice that come out naturally when he's acting dominant. Both of them feel better when Marek has a chance to cook for Cora and make sure she's taking care of herself, and they're both more than used to Cora ignoring his personal space.

Jai doesn't seem bothered by the unusual dynamic between Cora and Marek, and has reassured Cora more than once (usually after Maria's been more vocal about Marek's "bad influence") that there's no single, proper way to be friends with another person and that as long as everyone happy and healthy, that what she and Marek share is fine.

Cora's parents live in the suburbs, about 20 minutes away. Her father was a linguist for the military, but is retired now, and her mother volunteers at the local library. Her youngest brother is getting close to finishing college, but her middle brother joined the military and is stationed in Korea at the moment. Her family has accepted Mark and Jai as if they were their own, and Cora's parents will often ask how their "older sons" are doing. Cora's mom does still gently ask about a marriage between her and Marek sometimes, not really understanding their dynamic, but is never upset (only confused), when the answer is no. Cora loves both Marek's and Jai's families and is as comfortable with them as she is at her own parents' house.

Cora would like to tell Marek and Jai about her powers, and sometimes she's hit with a powerful urge to confess all her secrets, but her fear of putting them and their families at risk, of criminals targeting her favorite people just because she was selfish won't allow her to do that. No matter how badly she wants to.

Physical Description:

Hair: auburn, shoulder length, mostly straight (in a "can't do anything with it" way, rather than a pretty, smooth and sleek way)

Face: soft, friendly, with delicate features. Her eyes are green and expressive

Complexion: fair skin, with lots of freckles, burns easily

Build: slender, average build, in better physical shape than you'd expect for a clerical worker.

Height: around 5'4" (162 cm).

Expression: very expressive face and body language, shows her emotions easily. Has a slightly worried or concentrating look, especially when she's tired or stressed.

Overall appearance: an approachable, girl-next-door look. Her appearance might be somewhat at odds with her superhero alter ego, Surge, making it easier for her to keep her identity secret.

Style: In her civilian life, Cora dresses in comfortable, practical clothing, usually a size or two too big. She'll often steal shirts or hoodies from Marek, and sometimes from Jai, too. As Surge, she wears a dark suit, with bright blue accents. It covers most of her face, but leaves her eyes visible.

[dyxtd21]

Yellow Turquoise aesthetic moodboard!! Yellow Turquoise (The anti-Homelander) and the polar opposite of Turquoise:

Yellow Turquoise is the antithesis of Homelander from The Boys in both personality and appearance, embodying the true ideals of heroism: humility, compassion, and unwavering integrity. While he carries a powerful presence, he is selfless to his core, using his abilities solely to protect others and make the world a better place. His appearance reflects the energy of hope, with vibrant yellow hues that radiate warmth and sincerity.

Appearance: Vibrant Yellow Hue with Gray Matrix Inclusions: Yellow Turquoise’s skin glows with a vibrant yellow hue, rich and luminous, symbolizing optimism and strength. His body is crisscrossed with natural gray matrix inclusions and lines, giving him a unique, marbled look that hints at both resilience and the imperfections of life, which he embraces rather than hides. These gray patterns also give him a grounded, earthy connection, reminding others of his humility despite his powerful presence.

Superhero Costume: His superhero costume is a sleek, modern take on classic hero attire—a bodysuit of golden-yellow, trimmed with silver-gray accents that match the matrix lines on his skin. His suit is both practical and elegant, designed for mobility and protection, but also radiating hope and heroism. A glowing symbol, shaped like a stylized sun, is emblazoned on his chest, representing the light he brings to others. His cape is a translucent, lightweight material that flows effortlessly behind him, catching the light and shimmering with subtle hues of gold and silver, but it’s not for show—it’s a symbol of his commitment to protecting the innocent.

Gemstone: At the center of his belly button is an emerald-cut Yellow Turquoise gemstone. This gem is a bright, polished yellow, with gray streaks running through it, symbolizing balance between power and humility. The gem pulses with soft energy, a constant reminder of his boundless strength, but its placement in his navel reflects his belief that power comes from within, from a core of integrity and empathy.

Personality: Selfless and Humble: Yellow Turquoise is the embodiment of humility. Despite his immense powers, he doesn’t view himself as superior or above anyone. He sees himself as a servant of the people, constantly seeking ways to help without expecting praise or recognition. He avoids the spotlight, preferring to let his actions speak for themselves. His humility makes him approachable, and he never uses his abilities to intimidate or overpower others.

Compassionate and Empathetic: Unlike Homelander’s cold indifference, Yellow Turquoise is deeply compassionate. He goes out of his way to understand others, especially those in pain or in need. His empathy extends to everyone, from the vulnerable to the strong, and he believes in second chances and helping people rise above their challenges. He’s the kind of hero who stops to comfort a child after saving a city or who prioritizes saving lives over personal glory.

Heroism through Integrity: Integrity is at the heart of everything Yellow Turquoise does. He has an unshakable moral code and refuses to compromise his values, even when the easier or more expedient path might seem tempting. He believes in justice, fairness, and kindness, and he uses his powers only to uphold these ideals. Unlike Homelander, who craves adoration, Yellow Turquoise would rather be forgotten if it means the world is a better place. His heroism comes not from a desire for fame but from a genuine desire to protect and uplift.

Optimistic and Inspiring: Yellow Turquoise is an eternal optimist. He believes that no situation is too dark for hope and that good can be found in even the most difficult of circumstances. His positive outlook is infectious, inspiring those around him to be better and to believe in themselves. Even in the face of overwhelming odds, he remains calm and confident, encouraging others to find strength within themselves. His optimism is never naive, but it’s grounded in his belief that, with enough effort, even the hardest battles can be won.

Non-Violent Whenever Possible: While he’s fully capable of fighting when necessary, Yellow Turquoise believes in solving problems through peaceful means first. He often seeks to de-escalate conflicts and prefers diplomacy and understanding to violence. When he does have to fight, he’s tactical and careful, ensuring that no one gets hurt unnecessarily. His strength comes from his ability to protect rather than destroy, and his fights are often focused on minimizing harm.

Mentor and Guide: Yellow Turquoise is a natural mentor, always willing to teach others how to use their strengths for good. He believes in nurturing potential and often acts as a guide to younger or inexperienced heroes. His wisdom, combined with his patience, makes him a trusted figure among those who look up to him.

Self-Aware and Reflective: Though he’s a beacon of hope, Yellow Turquoise is also deeply self-aware. He knows that he’s not perfect and is constantly striving to improve himself. He takes time to reflect on his actions and decisions, ensuring that he always stays true to his values. His ability to introspect allows him to maintain his humility and stay grounded, even as the world around him may try to elevate him to godlike status.

Fact: Yellow Turquoise and Turquoise both fight like an old married couple on who's the better and baddest hero out there and they also argue and fight over other things.

[modcrnspirits]

Kevin Yaasiin

Info:

Face: John Boyega Age: looks 32 Occupation: Vigilant / Mechanic Gift: he can learn things very quickly, third-eye (he can see people's souls), he gains power and controls the power of the sun Sexuality: Gay Position: Versatile / Dominant even when he bottoms, but he can be made submissive, it just takes a great power to do so Family: Father: Amun-Ra and the Yaasiin paramour / Two brothers: Idris and Bad'r / Cousin: Oonguwa Gods Connection: Amun-Ra

Body Type:

Cock Size: 8.6 inches (22 cm) Cock Shape: thick, veiny Type: Uncut Balls and Pubes: Shaved balls, trimmed pubes over his cock Ass: Round and big ass cheeks, a bit of hair in his crack only Tattoos: 1. The Sons of a Paramour tattoo: a simple circle around the belly button, unlike the one from the fathers, this tattoo looks to be made of special silver ink, almost invisible when not active. When active, it glows the same golden shade as their fathers. / 2. Two twin lion cubs running after each other in a circle in the middle of his back (it's a medium tattoo and the art looks like that of the drawing on caves) Body type: Strong developed muscles, but a bit of fat Body hair: Almost none Special attributes: On fertile moments (especially with gods of gods’ vessels, his ass produces a natural lubricant, that the gods call “honey”. /During m-pregs, there are natural transformations (bigger belly, bigger tits, etc)

History:

Kevin is the youngest surviving Yaasiin, but the most powerful one of the three. His father, Amun-Ra, keeps a close eye on him and he is considered the most blessed son of all the paramours. Despite all his power and blessings, he doesn't take any ruling role and he avoids this because he once dreamed that if he ever became a King, the world would end.

Another odd thing about him is his easy way around machines. He can completely transform a simple electronic utensil into a weapon. No safe is locked for him. He created an AI that helps him keep track of any wrong-doers, humans or mystical.

Kevin has to keep his nature in check. His father whispers in his ears to take the world as if that was his right and his nature is very dominant. In the past he had made men and women bend to his will and the more power he has over people, the worse his tendencies grow. So when it comes to sex, he is happy to find a Man that can really turn him into a submissive slut.

He also has two cats at home, Matrix and Destiny. The cats talk to him, with Matrix being a white, evil cat and Destiny a black cat with green eyes that really gives good advice.

In bed:

he likes breeding, public cruising, ass-eating, Master/Sub, feet play, fingerings, spanking, watersports, etc.

[worldismyne]

For the shipping bingo game: Soul/Maka, Black Star/Maka, Kid/Maka. Heheheh.

Oooo full Maka sweep.

SoMa first

I am very much a fan of Maka having a crush on Soul and Soul trying to matrix his way into staying friends and not hurting her feelings lol.

I saw Stein say they seem to resonate, but don't and took that to heart.

I don't think it would work long term because Soul is very passive/cut off and Maka's insecure about their relationship from day 1. Very teen sweet hearts that break up after they stop sharing classes coded to me.

Still, I think the fandom has used the ship as a jumping off point to make great stuff. But I firmly believed fanon Maka/Soul > canon Maka/Soul.

Next Kid x Maka

On paper and politically, I think this would work. Especially post time skip. There's a reason I had them briefly arranged/engadged in my first fic. I think they could be good together.

I just hardcore ship them with other characters too much to make them endgame. Bonus points for Kid being an eldirch being that only appears human and ages/grows differently while Maka stays human. Love me some immortal watching their human loved ones die angst.

MaStar

Listen, my fic is breeching novel length, so I'm abt to go off.

But I will leave above the cut that this niche part of the fandom deciding his government name is Blake is a huge pet peeve of mine. Like, him choosing to identify as Star Clan with the name he was given and still holding his head high and demanding people recognize him on his terms is like, really important to his character. And 4kids-ing his name kept me away from a lot of the best written fics.

*inhales*

So I initially had this as a fringe one-sided ship in my first fic. I just kinda left them there on the chessboard and didn't think much of it.

Then after editing my old fic years later I wanted to do a sequel and that story beat was the only thing I had left open ended and when I thought abt it...

Maka and Black Star have such serious abandonment issues and workaholic tendancies, I can only see them getting together with someone after years of sniffing them out from afar.

So I did my lil one-shot of what I thought everyone would be up to after 20 years of 'peace' and realized as adults they'd be perfect for each other, since being the best at what they do is one of the most important things to them. Their general life goals lined up.

And I've been obessed with banging out this concept ever since.

Do I think they would have worked during the timeframe SE took place? Hell no. That would have been a flaming friendship ruining disaster.

Like post time skip he seemed a lil protective of her in canon, plus they constantly compare themselves to each other in the manga. But the manga left off with Black Star being a teen parent and Maka stuck spinning her wheels post time skip, still unable to shake this fear of failure. It seemed like a good way to tie off those plot threads (meanwhile Soul and Kid seemed to have pretty finished off arcs by the end). Been really enjoying having these two be equally stubborn about wanting them to work without ever saying it directly, and doing mental gymnastics to avoid acknowledging they're dating.

Both canons have Maka punching a god and fighting it head on, you can't tell me that power obsessed goober wouldn't find that hot.

Side note - I noticed while rereading Soul Eater miester/weapon romantic pairs/trouples were common, but in all iterations I don't recall seeing any meister/meister or weapon/weapon romantic pairs. So that's been an interesting concept to play around with too.

I fully acknowledge that this will always be a rare-pair. Though I value the 10-12 people consistently reading my fic abt them. I see y'all. I thank y'all!