#especially excited for that supposed finale ep

[timethehobo]

Waiting on a new supermassive game just so I can see the Curator again.

[thesimulacrasimp]

Okay, I literally just watched a spooky month short and i wanna kinda break it down a lil bit, cuz we learned ALOT through it. Again, sorry for my terrible english 😭🙏

Okay so in this shot we see Kevins parents (rlly cute) and we see "Rad's bday" on calendar (which is apparently in september, knowing that Kevin started working in candy club in the same month), that means that he knew Radford for a long time, even before he started working in candy club.

Okay, thats really funny, but when Skid and Pump appeared in this short with different masks i was like: "YOOO they finally revealed their hair styles. Wow these fan predictions were really close!" until i remembered that their hair styles were already revealed a long time ago in the house pictures.....

Okay so through Pump we now know that Skids father is dead. Not missing, not left - dead. <= another question that have been answered.

Lila looks so tired, poor soul (SHE EVEN WALKING IN THE STREETS IN SLIPPERS 😭)

Ok, now its my fav part. We saw all the moments w Skid and Pump in candy club. First part of it were just the moments that we have already seen or that have been mentioned (like when Skid n Pump got alot of fake blood in the place), there were also some others moments weve never seen, but i dont think theyre really important since they all happened before even eps 4 and 5, so i dont think i need to break them down (especially because of this stupid fuCKING PICTURE LIMIT—) BUT! The things i WANT TO talk about are all the things that happened after ep 6 - the things we still havent got to. And if its actually the foreshadowing (is that the right word for that?...) for what will happen in the future eps then its kinda a dissapointing cuz we got spoiled, and FUCKING AMAZING at the same time, like I have VERY mixed feelings about this, but i more like it than hate it tbh. SO im gonna break these things down like they are actual spoilers for future episodes, but that can be not true, who knows.

Okay, the first thing we see after ep 6 is another winter situation (the hole from Moloch is still there 😭) w hatzgang, Skid n Pump, and Susie, while the whole place was acreeting w some weird roots w eyes?? Then i suppose Roy was tormenting the poor kids as always, and Susie got mad at him and left, and then Rob and Ross did the same thing while Roy looked offended n pissed (which i cant show you becuz of a FUCKING LIMIT—)

Then, Lila, Jaune, John and Jack came to the candy club. I cant really tell what couldve happened, but Lila n Jaune looked really mad, and then STARTED ARGUE FOR SOME REASON, like I literally have no idea what couldve happened, it could be anything.

Then there was a literal fnf scene, like an actual rap battle between the spooky bois and bf (which i also cant show you, CAN U GUESS WHY?? :) ). I honestly think that this is a simple joke and nothing more, but who knows, maybe it will actually happen in spooky month, that would be pretty cool.

Okay, then the Spider. Like, we already all knew that its gonna be an episode vilian at some point, so its not really surprising honestly. Really curious how its gonna be portrated tho, like what is it gonna do, what its motives and goals are gonna be, what characterization are a LITERAL SPIDER gonna get - its all really interesting.

Then a cult. Also not really surprising tbh, like I think it was obvious that they were gonna get to Kev at some point, interesting why tho. Like how could he be useful or harmful for them? (interesting detail is that after a scene w the cultists Kevin still stayed in the club, so the cult tried to get him but failed? I wonder why and how.)

Okay... MOTHER. FUCKING. SKID'S DAD. HOLY SHIT IM SO EXCITED FOR HIM. If we look at the shot it seems like Skid came here to introduce Kevin to his dad (cute)

And then i suppose Dad got a candy bar for Skid and they both left. Really curious how is Skids dad gonna introduce himself to his son, how Skid is gonna react (well even by these 2 shots we can see that he is really happy, but im more curious about the first reactions, im in for some wholesome fluff please!!!). And Lilas reaction is also reaaaaaally interesting (if she will even know)

And the last shot is this. I also dont think it really means anything (maybe foreshadowing that Kev is gonna die??), the only thing that intrigues me is this sky, like I dont even know what it looks like, some sort of black hole? A fissure? Some ultimate evil that comes from another world? A 4th wall break?? Who fucking knows. But it does look interesting.

And soooo ummmmm idk what else to write, I think i already said everything i wanted to say so.. Bye? Tnx 4 reading?? Ig???

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You put a lot small visual elements and details in that I never seem to notice on my first read, and it always makes rereading exciting. What’s a detail from the comic that nobody ever seemed to notice? I’m sure there are things that nobody has mentioned, especially from the early chapters, that you’d want to talk about

Oh man.........that's a great question.

The thing is, there are a lot of details that people don't pick up, but there are definitely eagle-eyed readers that also do! There are also details which most didn't pick up until someone posted about it, and now everyone knows!

There are also details which are actually... yet to be revealed as relevant! That's a secret tool that'll help us later. :)

But most of it is plot relevant decisions I make which make the story more full, but are not necessarily NECESSARY for full enjoyment.

For example, in the very first comic, when Earl approaches Steven....

Her eye isn't white! That was a fully deliberate decision. She didn't actually approach Steven because he wanted her to. That was a decision she made on her own!

Most of the white eye shenanigans in Season 1 were deliberate, albeit not very explicit. I suppose that worked out okay, though. Plus, many people DID catch on!

Also, this part in the Kindergarten comic:

...which people assumed was a power separate from everything, is actually just the first instance of Steven's Command power. The thing is, I hadn't settled into how to portray it at the time, and also - the gem is Corrupted! It doesn't respond to Steven's commands the same way normal gems do. I planned to explore that earlier initially, but in the end, decided to tie it into much later plot.

In Season 1, EP 38, Steven asks Earl to write her name.... and she does! But in gem, not English, because she doesn't know how to write in English.

She designates herself as White Pearl, putting the dash over the top diamond. It was at the time when she was still anxious about making Steven - White Diamond - angry with her.

And to add to the eye thing - during the Season finale of Season 2, when Steven wondered if Earl only came to see him because he forced her to - the comic where she finds him in the water proves otherwise!

Immediately when she grabs him and swims up, her eyes aren't white! She's doing it of her own accord.

Also, in Season 3's opening, when Rose is angry at what she THINKS is White Diamond, she almost has a slip of the tongue when talking about the past.

There's a very pointed reason that panel of Earl is right there next to Rose's cut-off 'My...'

Also, when Rose leaves Steven in the Containment Sphere - the Baby Jail Bubble - she unlocks it to leave, and you can pretty clearly see an interesting detail.

(which Steven, of course, doesn't notice.)

There's also a bit of a narrative tongue in cheek line-up which is accidental on Steven's part but still rings true:

(TVTropes editors caught this one! Hey TVTrope editors!)

Also, this very famous Seaglass foreshadowing:

The first instance of Steven connecting to tech was in the beginning of this season!

When Steven has a bad dream after fusing with Earl and forming Bleached Coral, there's a hidden detail in this reflective text from Nightmare Rose:

(It might be easier to read if you mirror-flip it.)

Another fun thing I enjoyed doing before I got busy with other stuff is gem language! Earl writes Steven notes in it to help him learn, and now signs with her English name,

In the Cluster Experiments comic, if you look at the panels before stuff starts to Happen, you can find a few Experiments hiding in the background. :)

In Amethyst's room, there is a Japanese stopsign and a d20 in the background.

In episode 25 of season 4, Steven is playing Moonlight Sonata!

In episode 33, the ship Steven connects to displays a bisection of the earth which showcases its lumpy core! Or rather, the megastructures that are hidden deep inside the mantle.

It also showcases a few geothermal coring sites made during the colonization.

And by the way, the drill Pearl built was actually a repurposed ship hull which was used for the Space Race ship in the original show!

And man there are actually... many more! But I had to skip over them because they are alluding to things which have not yet been explicitly revealed! :D

But even with this, I'm sure there are other ones I'm missing. If you think you have one that should be listed - throw it on a reblog or in the comments!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Korea drops my favorite cameo ever & gives KISSES

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.

Sept 2023 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 4 of 12 - Well that’s one way to find out if he’s gay, see how he reacts to reading a het sex scene out loud. Yai is flirting so hard it’s like he knows everything. 

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - Oh no! I love them. Also cohabitation trope! Also ALL the other ones: hair dry, meet in childhood... GMMTV going no frills with this one.

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 9 of 12 - Zo’s drama over Pat helping Joke flirt seems awfully manufactured. I’m losing faith in this show. Could GMMTV PLEASE hand JoongDunk a decent script? 

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 5 of 10 - Sand & Ray are the only interesting couple, and I’m pretty much only watching for them. They gonna go south fast, tho, and they're already ruined by persistent singing. Ooo. When Sand said Top "stole his ex" did he mean Boston? How gay. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 2 of 8 - The pronoun conversation had a bonkers translation but I enjoyed the actuality of it. The reasons for Yi's trickery are very convoluted soap opera. But I suppose that is the amnesia trope for you. 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 10 of 12 - Boys. We discussed this already. No sex in onsens! I found this one dull, until the end when LLS showed up. Happy to just have him in everything. Thank you Thailand. Looks like it is a classic ep 11 DOOM next week. Who cares? 

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 1-2 of 10 eps - The usual Thai pulp claptrap this time a reunion romances in and around a convenience store between a boy who recently quit his job and his former bestie who is now a doctor. Mostly not great acting, plot, or production but the sound is okay and no bad effects or singing (so far), so that’s something. The gay brothers have a fun relationship. It’s vampy and campy but fun. I like it but not sure anyone else would.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - The date was cute but I still don’t like the lead or the premise (we moved into Cyrano de Bergerac territory). It’s moving slowly but it seems like we might be over the crush/stalker part of the narrative, so that’s a relief. 

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - I just can’t. The sound is too weird. With punch down humor and other issues incoming I may DNF this. You’ve been warned. This ep we got to see LLS with his shirt off. Did anything else happen? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 8fin - No wonder he is everyone’s favorite hyung, boy can read the room like no one else. I love that we got to see exactly how clingy and demanding Choi Jun was always going to be. Only Lee Jun is easy-going enough to put up with him. Also I’ve never watched a KBL with more innuendo. For Korea this was… raunchy. I gotta say had Laws of Attraction not come along, Simon might have been my favorite character of 2023.

Final thoughts on Jun and Jun:

A delightful office romance about an ex-idol who joins cubical life only to find his new boss is his first love. Others boys are sniffing around too. Operative word being "sniffing" as much of this romance involves smell. With a snappy script, enjoyable sides, a pretty as peaches cast, and descent chemistry this show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smiled every moment I was watching. With tons of rewatch potential (especially the last few eps), my only caution is this is for fans of the BL genre only, I don’t think it’ll work for anyone else. A solid 9/10 from me. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

I like that Korea is trying high heat, but Taiwan and Thailand are leaps and bounds better at it.

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 9-10fin -

Omg they so cute as flirty bf. Eeeeeeee! CAMEO!!!!! My fav guest couple ever! So exciting!!!! I love that they intersected with MY Strongberry couple (Private Lessons). I’m not used to this but Holy innuendo Korea, what with Jun & Jun and now this show? It’s a bit much for my gay little heart. The final episode was entirely unnecessary, but it was fun to see them being all domestic and stuff. Maru with his dumb lettuce leaves was hilarious. I feel like I need to rewatch this one to really understand it properly, so I will likely do that soon.

Summary of Love Class 2:

3 couples form within a semester of university: 1. a hyung romance reunion of exes, one of whom has a dangerous past, 2. a friends to lovers romance, and 3. a mature student and TA one night stand + complexities (many aspects of which had me laughing). I enjoyed the characters and dialogue of this show immensely. It was a little bit more breezy and friendly than I was expecting after the first installment, Love Class. I’m not entirely sure Korea can handle multiple couples like this because it definitely felt disjointed, especially the 3rd more mature couple (also my favorite) who probably should’ve had their own series. But it was definitely fun and something different from Korea. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

Also, Korea tried to give us higher heat... that was... interesting. I mean, you tried hon...?

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 4 of 13(?) - Everyone is a sad sack this ep. Ooooo. Teach/student my favorite. We never get this one. It’s messy. I’m not sure if there is a plot. I’m not sure they’re sure if there is a plot. But I am still enjoying it.

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 8 - Why is the Fighter character always so frustrating regardless of name or country? Ji Oh stalking his crush via IG is so relatable. He’s very first crush awkward, unsure, and sweet. They also gave a nice kiss - I love the backpack drop (kiss version of a mic drop?) I still hold that if you haven’t seen the original this might not make much sense. But I am enjoying it. 

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 4 of 8 - Oh goody, another JBL where we have to pay attention solely to what they do and not what they say. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - Big fat sigh. 

It's Airing But...

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 24 eps - I couldn't get hold of it and I'm not mad. I'm putting it on hold until distribution gets sorted, or icky get their shizz in order (like that'll happen).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

Still To Come In September

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/27 Bon Appetit (Korea iQIYI) - from 2022, 8 eps from GoGo Studio, romance between an office worker who lives off junk food and the man next door who cooks well.

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love him. And I love his version of this character better than Jimmy's.

I also love it when a show gets meta. (Both Why R U? Korea) Why they didn't just go for YRU? the world may never know.)

(Last week) 

[vile-bestia]

why mizu is, in fact, not cis

Everyone is very angry at everyone about how to see or not see Mizu’s identity; being unable to shut up, and having fixated on the show a bit, i’m excited to finally join my first to-the-death-tumblr-discourse-battle.

I'm going to use mostly he/him for Mizu, but please read the premise below. Read the colored strings of text 😭

The main argument for Mizu being a woman is that which has as its basis the fact that cross-dressing is for Mizu an external need: for one, it is a need for protection from patriarchal bonds; secondly, it is a need for independence - Akemi’s story is one of independence as well, of feminine independence, and we have more than one woman pursuing such thing; we could go on with an analysis of brothels as a feminine space, but, alas - and thirdly, it is a need of obligation: Mizu needs to maintain the masculine identity in order to attain the object of his vow. 

I find, however, that while the argument stands as perfectly sound (and as canon) it isn’t exhaustive enough of the layered experience of gender in BES.

The trans coding is simply undeniable to me, whether it was intentional or not. I do not mean to say that Mizu is a binary trans man; that would be an approach as reductionist as confirming she is exclusively a woman. However, I find that some behaviours of Mizu’s are coded as dysphoric reactions.

Most of my justifications for this reasoning come from episodes 2, 5 and 8.

In episode 2,

Ringo is vowing to never reveal Mizu’s secret: “I’ll never tell anybody you’re a g-“; and as soon as he’s about to say girl, Mizu is just as ready to slice his throat. Mizu being worried about someone else hearing or witnessing the interaction doesn’t seem completely plausible to me: they’re alone in snowy woods, and, most likely, Mizu wouldn’t have confirmed time and again how readily he’d kill Ringo. 

Then comes episode 5,

which is in my opinion the most layered and the most exhaustive in regards to Mizu’s experience of gender, especially regarding his experience of the feminine. First and foremost, it tells the ultimate teaching: that gender isn’t but a performance, just as the gender roles are portrayed through theatre in the episode. As for the dysphoric reaction, it's the whole thing. Mizu is miserable even when we suppose that the marriage could be a relatively happy time. That's another reason why I suppose the puppet theatre tells Mizu's internal sense of self as well (see paragraph 4).

(And, about gender being performative, see how kabuki theatre was born in the Edo period and how, before being banned from acting, women cross-dressed to play male characters, and men cross-dressed to play female characters. See “professional transvestites” trained to be prostitutes, Kagema being trained from a young age to „act" like members of the other sex; see how by the beginning of the 18th century AFAB sex workers would try to figure out a way to set themselves apart from wakashu, creating an entirely new space for female crossdressers in the adult entertainment sphere; see ukiyo-e representations - chigo monogatari and yukiyo-zoshi literature; stories by Ihara Saikaku that are full of "transgender behaviours" and more)

Back to ep 5:

1. Theme of performance

The theme of performance, which also is the one of Mizu performing femininity for Mikio (in function of the well-being of Mizu’s mother), but being at once unable to suppress masculinity as the only space in which Mizu seems to be comfortable: e.g., it’s a little detail, but Mizu’s only good in the kitchen when cutting vegetables, because comfortable with blades, certainly not with cooking; again Mizu having to perform femininity is when he does makeup to “make-up”, to soften Mikio’s spirit, who feels invalidated by Mizu’s masculinity when it starts to interfere with his pride, and such other details; I even thought of the sword as a symbol for “learned” masculinity: the first time this thought occurred was when it was characterized by sensuality in the scene where the spouses spar: “Unsheathe it. Let me see your blade;” and I interpreted it as masculinity being the only space that allows intimacy as well; then comes the time where Mizu learns he does not need a sword to fight, meaning to me that she can embody masculinity without having to prove it to others. And then comes the reforging of the sword’s meteorite to include “impurities”, and the rite that Mizu performs. I assume that “a sword too pure” is the symbol of, again, learned hypermasculinity to appease patriarchal expectations, and is too pure because it’s Mizu rejecting part of himself, trying to exclude all “impurities”, whether they are being half white, or being half woman. Taigen himself is the one to tell Mizu he can fight without a sword (ep 7, but done in ep 3 or 4 and ep 6 already), and then the situation starts to bear sexual tension, which I directly link to the sensual connotation of the sparring cited earlier up. Possibly, this particular situation could also mean acceptance of Mizu's lack of a native "sword".

2. Gender roles

But a more sound consideration is (i would like to hope so) the one about the whole marriage being told through puppets, and the puppets themselves. While they are different characters, first of all we see an inversion of gender in the roles: at first Mizu is the Ronin because he performs a masculine role of protection, an “active” role; then, Mizu’s role is reversed in function of his marriage. We see Mizu surrendering (forcibly, being manipulated) to femininity as soon as his mother guilt-trips him into marrying, and the ronin puppet assumes a submissive pose, long before the role reversal.

3. A note:

it yet does not seem to me like the role reversal is, so to say, complete: even after the reversal, the narrator tells details about the ronin that are actually details about Mizu, e.g. when the two marry, and despite the positions of the puppets match the ones of the spouses, it is said that the ronin's loyalty is no more turned towards his "path of revenge," (Mizu's) "but to his bride" - in the perspective explained below, perhaps Mizu's own femininity. Also, i find Mizu might perceive Mikio as the bride, and himself as the husband - as an argument it can't stand alone, or it would bare no strength, but I will use it in correlation with the other points made, until now and later, to argue that Mizu thinks of himself as a guy.

4. Performance of Mizu's sides, assimilable to when she has the vision of killing his white side, shortly before facing the four fangs or whatever their name was

This, and one more tiny detail, bring me to think that not only do we talk about external roles, but about Mizu’s self-perception. I'm referring to when it is said that “for the first time in many years, the ronin felt the storm rage inside him.” The storm is a symbol belonging to Mizu (literally it occurs in the first 2 minutes of the episode), and it is explicit that it isn’t something that happens for the first time, but rather returns. By this point, the gender roles were reversed, and yet it seems to me like it isn’t anymore about the marriage itself, but rather about Mizu’s hatred for and slaughtering of his own femininity, and, of course, the experience of betrayal; with his family (especially his mother, see below), and with his femininity, which wasn’t enough to keep him comfortable or Mikio on his side. (...betrayal which is also about mizu himself betraying akemi, i'd add. Mizu is justified here, but it's important to note the parallels between the two timelines i guess?)

5. That random ass baby

There is, at a certain point, a situation of peace, which I think is represented when one of the puppets is holding a blue baby (supposedly a little ronin) in its arms. I want to suppose that the baby represents newborn love between Mizu and Mikio, before it all fell apart. But the love itself is a masculine love, as we see that it is based on masculine exchanges (fighting, doing fieldwork, taming horses, riding together, whatever) and, it seems to me, assimilable to homosexuality between samurai, which was widespread (insert something about Taigen here). Also Mikio wanted to marry a bro lmao. Aside from that, on the level of Mizu’s self-perception, it might represent comfortableness, a sort of congruence, or, rather, a compromise, that Mizu is able to live in, between natural masculinity and performed femininity - opening up to show vulnerability, love fragile as a creature that cannot defend itself, innocent, naive, trusting. 

6. About Mizu’s mother.

The puppet used for Mizu’s mother before the role reversal is the same that is supposedly used for Mizu after, but I latch onto a detail: the pattern on the puppet’s kimono is the same as the (real life) Mother’s kimono (see for example minute 12:30). I support this by noting the more obvious parallel between the blue worn by Mizu and the blue of the Ronin puppet, but at the same time I'm forced to note that after a certain point the mother has her own puppet. In any case, I see the mother and the feminine puppet wearing the same kimono as being about femininity, and about the mother’s betrayal of her child, rather than about Mizu herself. For one, manipulating him into marrying and abandoning the vow. But also we learn (ep 8) that the woman isn’t Mizu’s mother at all. One could discuss the reliability of Fowler’s statement, but I feel there are more clues regarding the mother’s betrayal: the episode starts with the Ronin, who feels the storm rage inside him at the killing of his lord (Mizu’s actual mother, perhaps) by the hands of a clan whose crest was the Phoenix (which I suppose are the white men, and the curse of whiteness for Mizu). I’ve thought about the four white men dealing guns (Fowler), flesh, opium (and I’m not sure what role “Violet” has in this, but I think they're the opium dealer), and thought that if Mizu’s “mother” was a substitute, the opium she smokes could point to Mizu’s potential father, perhaps even at the surrogate mother keeping contact, and at the surrogate’s betrayal at the same time. But it’s also true I watched the show while stoned, so I would dismiss this.

7. Onryo (note: characteristic in kabuki)

When the birth of the vengeful spirit occurs, I see very well how plausible it is to say that, actually, the rage that Mizu feels is feminine rage, and I agree with that. Mizu’s femininity is his rage, it is heavily related to the mother-daughter relationship, despite the fact that at a certain point the mother has her own puppet. At the same time, however, it is to me the result of the slaughtering of the performed femininity needed to respect the obligation (we remember the wedding was also to ensure the “surrogate” mother safety, especially financial, as well as to keep Mizu bound), just as accepting you’re able to fight with any tool puts an end to the compensatory movement by which you’re trying to prove masculinity to an observer (which, say, Taigen does as well, wanting to prove to Mizu he can beat him - plus, Taigen himself is the one to reassure Mizu on the complete unimportance of it, see how I read the sword symbol a few paragraphs earlier).

In this perspective, the "dye washing away from her kimono" to me means two things: that being what he is is inevitable, and that the feminine rage sets in; Mizu tries to make up for being a "demon", but in the end rejects the obligation towards his husband, and towards her mother; the pattern is not the same anymore, and Mizu is somehow more like his own person, returning on the path of vengeance, strengthened by the feminine, as the reforged sword will be strengthened by the very ritualistic yaki-ire.

--

Episode 8,

I feel, speaks instead for itself,  for the dysphoric reaction is to me extremely clear. Reacting that way to being called a Miss is not a cisgender reaction. You’ll tell me: it’s not a dysphoric reaction! It’s a reaction of disgust to being fetishized for being a woman! And that’s plausible, supported by the “you just keep getting better,” with clear sexual implication, except I think that is also a fundamental trans experience and one cannot limit the way they read the scene to an exclusively feminine experience.

In conclusion,

I don’t think it might be all boiled down Mizu being a masc woman, because of the trans coding. Mizu thinks of himself as a guy. If not a guy, not a woman either. You’ll tell me: “Of course she does, because she’s grown up that way; she was forced to sustain the lie to preserve her life! It's a matter of conditioning!” And while it is true that the initial context points towards crossdressing, and not inherent feelings of gender non conformity or transgenderism, I feel that if Mizu really felt like a woman, he wouldn’t have such exaggerated reactions, and I don’t think they come from his temperament either. And it is disproved that conditioning someone to have a different sexuality or gender identity works in any way - I doubt Edo period Japan or a particular protagonist would make an exception. "But Mizu herself tells Mikio she didn't want to be a man, she had to be one!" Yes, because it is true. But it points to crossdressing. If it were aimed to explain the whole of Mizu's experience of gender in her self, it would invalidate the entirety of episode 5.

In any case, even in situations where he couldn’t be discovered, Mizu does not allow feminine terms or titles, or tries as best to stop them from happening; plus, it’s rather obvious how difficult the relationship with his body is. 

While, once again, reading Mizu as a binary trans man is not enough, I feel like reading him as cisgender isn’t, either. As if, in any case, the feminine experience and the transmasculine one didn’t overlap in many aspects, also during the most tumultuous parts of transition, if pursued.

What is funniest above all is that the whole discourse is substantially useless. The layers of the show open to an infinite variety of interpretations, none of them fundamentally wrong. Mizu’s just quite literally Mizu. It’s a queer unlabeled thing and that’s it. If you take the Lacanian concept of the Real as the hole, properly uninteligible, surrounded by the Symbolic, you'll find that "Queer" is exquisitely representative of the Real, and therefore every label (the Symbolic) is reductive of the perceived experience (indeed the Real). The fundamental lesson about gender that you can derive from the show is that gender is a performative construct. What it pushes you to do is deconstruct your principles, especially if you are queer, since we are all entrapped in the modern western white need for strict labelling; that’s where this whole debate comes from, and it is, once again, pointless.

So, instead making fun of other people because of a set of pronouns, perhaps it would be better to imagine that more options can cohabit together, or that there is no need to label at all. Also be careful about accusing others of a complete lack of media literacy - you should thoroughly examine yours first.

Interesting articles i guess:

--

Algoso, Teresa A. "'Thoughts on Hermaphroditism': Miyatake Gaikotsu and the Convergence of the Sexes in Taishō Japan." The Journal of Asian Studies 65, no. 3 (2006): 555–573. Algoso, Teresa A. "Not Suitable as a Man? Conscription, Masculinity, and Hermaphroditism in Early Twentieth-Century Japan." Chap. 11 In Recreating Japanese Men, edited by Sabine Frühstück and Anne Walthall. Berkeley: University of California Press, 2011, 241–261. Mostow, Joshua S. “The Gender of Wakashu and the Grammar of Desire.” In Gender and Power in the Japanese Visual Field, edited by Joshua S. Mostow, Norman Bryson, and Maribeth Graybill. Honolulu: University of Hawai’i Press 2003, 49–70.

taken from this post asking about transgender men in the edo period: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/p6x4jk/comment/h9ttgv4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

As a final unrelated note, I haven’t seen anyone praise the MASTERFUL sound design 

bye 🪳🪳🪳🪳🪳

[mikailys]

MCL NewGen Ep 9 Commentary

I poured blood, sweat, tears, and money to finish this episode. I fought my inner demons to convince myself that they didn't deserved my money but here we are: with a concluded episode and me with 30 euros less in my bank account 🥲 As always, this post will obviously contain spoilers under the cut so beware~

Ngl after the disaster of episode 8 I had zero (0) hopes for this new one, I wasn’t even excited after everything that happened last month (e-girl pack, episode 8, Halloween event and so on) but I have to admit, this one surprisingly exceeded my low expectations by a landslide by finally giving some insight on the LIs about time i might say.

But first thing first, the cost. This episode was hella expensive, I spent 2604 aps, of which 1832 were free. I'm following Jason's route so I know it's more expensive than the others but I didn't imagine this much. I genuinely hope the others will be shorter and that this was just an exception given the backstories cause I can't handle every ep being like this 😩

As a Jason's girlie, I was ecstatic about this episode. For once, his presence was well-contextualized, he didn’t come off like a stalker and we weren’t the damsel in distress. I didn’t expect him to start trauma-dumping on Candy so soon, considering they don’t see each other as often compared to the other LIs, but I’m glad we got to know him better. I really hope Candy’s attitude toward him will start to soften 'cause she’s always on guard around him and it’d be nice to see her relax and trust him a little more, especially after the intimate moment they experienced in this ep.

I must admit tho the premise didn't really appeal to me and I was skeptical this would be another silly ep with all the Devenementiel crew doing stuff but luckily it wasn't. It all starts with Devon telling us that, starting the next day, a group of interns will be joining the team and it turns out these are Devon’s younger brothers, Gebril and Joen.

Overall I liked the time spent with them. I agree that there were a lot of unnecessary moments and some parts I could’ve gladly skipped but it was a cute scenario, and finally we get to meet some new characters for a change also idk but Joen's attitude kinda reminds me of Armin oh I miss himm

Since we're here let’s already get to the sore spot of this whole ep: the whole Tasha situation. I don’t care if it’s wrong to have beef with my fictional sister, but I’m honestly speechless at how she and their mom acted during the internship situation. You knew for months that you needed to pick a company for your internship and yet, the night before, you have no plans because you delayed the application?? And now you’re asking me to call up my boss at 8 pm to beg him to include you in the internship that’s supposed to start tomorrow? Are you out of your mind?!?

Also isn’t the whole traineeship supposed to be organized by the school? I’m not sure how it works in France, but I was quite confused—here in Italy the school usually guides you through the process and handles all the paperwork. It’s unusual for students to be left on their own in a situation like this...

And the mom is even worse cause she just says "I don’t want to judge you for how you’re acting with her because if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t know what to do either" like uhmm you’re the mother, not me?? If you knew about this the whole time –and she knew for months– why didn’t she help Tasha earlier? Or better yet, why didn’t Tasha ask us weeks ago instead of the evening before? And yet they’re just chilling while playing cards omg you have no idea how much this stressed me out it's so stupid but yet so infuriating like the fact that they only have a bathroom in a mega villa but whatever i guess.

After we refuse to help her, Tasha mysteriously ends up joining Goldreamz for her internship. I’m honestly confused, once again, about how this happened because the night before no company had accepted her and now suddenly she's got the job?? Did Jason see her candidacy last minute right before clocking out the office? If I missed something pls let me know cause I genuinely can't wrap my head around it lol.

What a way to twist things...

But anyway, I honestly liked this option. I admit I would have never imagined this plot for his route but I’m glad they went this way. I loved seeing Candy’s reaction when Tasha told her about working with "the devil" and I also enjoyed her reactions to the ambiguous conversation between Candy and Jason in his office watch Tasha being the first to get the hints about their situationship lol

Maybe it's for the better, we don't want to let our lil sis know we blew up big time our first solo project.

Once Tasha leaves, Candy asks Jason wtf he’s doing and he assures her that he doesn’t have any ulterior motives. He just thought it would be an amusing situation for both him and Candy. After a quick recap, we get a better understanding of Candy and Tasha's relationship. It seems like there’s a bit of a rivalry/competition between the sisters—something I would have never guessed, considering we've only seen Tasha about three times since the beginning but okay. I only wish to see more of their sisterhood but I guess we won't any sooner since she's going to her father for a while, that sucks.

After some usual bantering, we find out that Jason envies our relationship with Tasha since he’s an only child, which leads him to open up a bit about his past. We learn that he found comfort in solitude, often isolating himself by going out on his father's boat in the middle of the ocean. I admit this was unexpected, I never would’ve guessed he’d be so into the marine world - as we'll see soon in the rowboat scene. It adds a surprisingly nice contrast to his otherwise business-like persona.

Touched by Jason’s childhood story, Candy spontaneously suggests they take a boat ride right then and there, to experience the peace and solitude he felt throughout his childhood. This was a cute gesture from Candy ngl, I thought she would simply nod and listen to his story but no. This is the first time she takes such an important first step with him in their relationship and I'm proud of her.

But, once arrived tho she has to ruin everything destroying the cute little moment...

Oh my God. You strangely enough managed to get him to open up about his difficult childhood and you still can’t help but joke about him being the big bad guy? Ugh I take back whatever I said about you Candy, you're dumb.

Thankfully, Jason doesn’t seem that much bothered by her comment and they get on the rowboat. I was lowkey hoping for a cute moment where he offers her his hand to help her aboard but nope, doesn’t happen. Honestly I’m convinced this is his subtle payback for that insensitive joke, if so props to you J.

Anyway, he starts rowing and soon we find ourselves in the middle of the lake. This is where the heart of the episode unfolds imo. We finally get a glimpse into his family history. Jason opens up about his father, a scientist deeply passionate about the ocean, that tragically passed away shortly before he turned 19.

This is the moment where I truly lost it. I swear, I was a sobbing mess.

Jason’s vulnerability hit me harder than I expected. We already knew about his father, but hearing him tell the whole story was tough. I can barely imagine what he went through at such a pivotal age. The emotional distance between him and his mother after she got remarried definitely played a big role and when you add his strained relationship with his stepfather into the mix, it’s impossible not to feel for him. It's such a tragic backstory, I hope they don’t mess it up from here on out. My pookie deserves better :(

As for the special scene, it wasn't that much but I liked it. Unfortunately, I can't post the screenshots since I’ve hit the limit per post sigh but it was such a sweet and heartwarming moment. It offered a smooth transition from the heaviness of the conversation to their usual playful banter and I really appreciated how it slowly lightened up the mood without taking away from the emotional depth of his story. I have to admit, I wasn’t really a fan of the illustration. The setting and moment were adorable - it totally gave me Rapunzel vibes with all the whimsy and charm - but Jason’s expression feels off, it’s almost like he’s a villain plotting revenge rather than being swept up in the moment lol. Plus his proportions seem a little strange mmh. Candy, on the other hand, looks gorgeous so gg.

And that’s it. Afterwards, Jason accompanies Candy back to her house, reminding her that despite the little walk down memory lane, things haven’t changed between them in his eyes, and he expects the same from her. Oh, and let’s not forget she owes him an intimate story too as if the whole Ioan drama wasn’t enough.

With that, he leaves and the episode ends with Candy having her same old crisis whenever she spends a little time with Jason.

Now, I’m really curious to see if Jason opening up will actually shift things between them or if it’ll stay the same old. At this point, Candy doesn’t have much of an excuse to keep trash-talking him - he hasn’t done anything to harm her or Devenementiel, yet, and he’s actually been there to help her on multiple occasions. I’m hoping she drops the whole “he’s the devil” mindset because he’s honestly shown more support than hostility in the latest eps.

But honestly I can't hide that rn I'm more worried about the next episode. Thomas having an incident was on everyone’s bingo card -even though I didn’t expect it to happen this early- but here we are. I’ve got so much repressed trauma from everything with Lysander that I genuinely have no idea what to expect next 🫠

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy weekend Fandom :) Per usual we have a few high content eps then the next is a little lower. Still a good ep to be had though. Seeing a softer side to Tim for Angela. What a good friendship they have. And the continued reasons to dislike Lucy’s parents so much. I go off on her mom so be prepared. They spend this episode apart which always makes me sad. But it’s a great episode regardless. Let’s get this started.

3x10 Man Of Honor

We start off the ep with some flashbacks to the academy. At first I thought my clip was shaky, then I realized its Nolan's shoddy camera skills not mine LOL This is the one moment I wanted to highlight out of the academy shots. Lucy’s reason for becoming a cop. It’s prominent for later in this episode. Especially with her bloody mom….Her feeling adrift since college and not knowing where she belonged. That when she stepped into the LAPD It finally clicked.

Saying she didn’t feel the time she spent before this was a wasted effort. Which is amazing most people regret the wasted time. To me I agree with her. It’s that time before you find your thing that eventually leads you to it. That need to want to protect others from harm as part of her reason. Fantastic and very Lucy. I do love her finding her place as a cop. It’s why she fights tooth and nail at everything she does with this job. What Tim saw in her from day one. That fire and drive to succeed. Love our girl.

The scene in roll call is hilarious. Jackson’s dad told him when he got P2 he got bottle of whiskey. That he was called up to the front and given this. They are both operating under this assumption when Grey mentions them. It’s too damn funny. I love their friendship so much. It truly one of the best parts of this episode. Jackson gets tongue tied so Lucy steps in for them both. Telling Grey it's their first day as P2's all exicited.

He asks them if they want flowers? Cupcakes? It's why Grey asks Lucy what the reward is for making P2 above. They’re insanely embarrassed by the time Grey is done with them. They get to ride together which is the highlight after all that. It’s so weird to have roll call without Tim there though. I feel his absence but I guess even T.O.’s get days off. Boo.

We catch Jackson and Lucy in their shop. Jackson keeps getting ‘Congratulations’ texts from his family. You can see the slight jealously on Lucy’s face. I totally get it. For the most part I relate to Tim. When it comes to poopy unsupportive parents I'm right there with Lucy. She and I are alike where I too have tried on a lot of hats. Just trying to find myself as well. My parents being judgy unsupportive jerks the entire way.

Lucy has finally found what her calling is and just wants her parents to be proud of her. Makes me wanna cry just writing that out. Because even when you don’t have good relationship, there is still a part of you craves that approval. When really is should be the other way around. They should be vying to be in your life.

Jackson invites her to his family tradition dinner. So sweet he really takes care of her so much. Lucy declines because her parents are supposed to come over for dinner. She thinks they’re finally coming around to her being a cop. Jackson is so excited for her and says that’s great. I love this scene. They’re so excited to be riding together it’s adorable. Getting to use ac and listen to music haha It's precious.

We cut to Tim on his day off. Yelling at Kojo to move when he’s given up on their walk LOL It's the way Tim whines at Kojo that makes me laugh so hard. Kojo refusing to get up even though they are close to the house. That dog clearly runs that relationship and it makes me giddy to no end. I adore any scene we get with Tim and his dog. Ovary explosion for me. I’m a huge animal lover. To have a dog and Tim in a scene? Phew lord. Gimme. Tim gets a text from Angela saying she needs him ASAP. He finally gets Kojo to move by asking him if he wants a steak? Lmao Spoiled Fur-baby.

Tim gets to the address and it’s a wedding dress shop. He enters hesitantly wondering what is going on... He asks the employee where she is? They tell him she is currently in the changing suite. She’s gone through half their tissue supply. Aww poor thing. Tim sighs and makes his way to her. Once inside asks what’s wrong? Is she going into labor? Lmao No love. Nothing like that. He is straight with her when she asks if she looks fat. I love how he tells her like it is while also being sweet about it. The Tim Bradford special. Telling her who cares what her stupid friend thinks. If she's not ashamed of her baby bump then screw everyone else.

Angela is still upset she can’t hide her belly in her dress. Then we get to see protective/supportive Tim come out. Mmm one of my fav flavors. Asking her ’Who said you have to hide your belly?’ Angela tells him her bridesmaids did. The dress she’s in was supposed to camouflage it the best and its not doing that.

I adore him building her up when she’s down. Look at him taking the skills he learned from Lucy. Using them in this scenario. I love it sfm. Tells her to show off her baby belly. To be proud not ashamed. To wear what she feels confident in. Ugh my heart Timothy. He’s doing exactly what she needed. This is why she texted him. To be that emotional support friend. Her face says it all in that gif above.

What I love about this scene we get to see another side of him. Not just work Tim. A supportive and thoughtful friend. If Lucy could see him right now she would be dying haha He asks her what her dream dress is? Angela tells him what she wants. He says he’ll go get the dress lady and they’ll start there.

I love this man so much. It’s insane. She looks so at ease and taken care by the end of their scene. What a good bestie does. Can only hope we can have scenes like this when Tim marries Lucy. Angela helping him out but giving him crap in a loving way baha Good man right here. Already loved him before this but this only adds to it. Like a sundae that was already delicious and adding on more yummy toppings. Only makes it even better.

Angela is trying on more dresses. Tim asking her if she’s doing ok? I’m loving this soft version of Tim. If he’s this sweet and supportive with Angela. Can only imagine how he would be with Lucy and their plans when they get there. Angela says hard to get dress on over her bowling ball. Naww Tim’s face when she finally comes out is so cute. Once again all I can think of is his face when he sees Lucy in hers someday. I'm sorry I can’t help it LOL My brain is wired to go there now with them together.

Tells her ‘Whoa.’ building up her confidence even more. It’s so sweet. Angela agrees it’s perfect and thanks Tim for doing this with her. He does the sweetest smirk and lets her know ‘Of course��. A crash interrupts their little moment. Two ladies are fighting over a dress. Tim and Angela come out to see the fight. The dress lady says she’s called the police. Not to worry. Tim starts to film it in case they need it for evidence.

Then his future wife and her bestie show up on the scene. Tim couldn’t be more delighted to watch her and Jackson handle this. Lucy is distracted the minute they enter the scene. Tim Is in a dress shop for one and two with Angela. Her reaction couldn’t be more pure and adorable. Asking if he’s there to help her pick out a dress? Just the thought of it is making her so happy and proud of him. The immediate joy on her face.

The thought of him doing this makes Lucy so damn giddy. Jackson doesn’t have time for her work flirt and goes after the suspects LOL Tim’s reply is classic Tim. God forbid she get to see another soft side of him. Which is exactly why she’s so giddy BTW. Tim replying to her question 'All he’s doing right now is watching her not do her job.' Ha God Tim you could’ve at least said hello. She gets nervous and side steps before helping Jackson. It's adorable. She's totally lost her place in her excitement and is clearly distracted by it.

The more the situation escalates the more Tim and Angela enjoy themselves. Angela commenting ‘They grow up so fast don’t they?’ One of them tries to take off with the dress. Tim helps Lucy out cause he can’t help himself. Sticks out his leg tripping the suspect. He could not be enjoying himself more if he tried. Just being a proud hubby filming her arrest and making comments along the way hehe Lucy's face while he does this. She is not amused at all. I’m cracking up. God I love these two idiots so much. Act more married please. You are fooling no one.

Her dinner will her parents Or really parent has arrived. Lucy being a wonderful daughter her mother doesn’t deserve. She's made lotus root soup which is her favorite for their evening Trying to curry favor with her before their dinner even begins. I get it. Her mom shows up solo…. Congratulates Jackson before he leaves. She is nicer and more of a supportive parent to Jackson than her own daughter… ugh been there…Lucy asks her where her father is?

Her mom says off handedly like it’s no big deal he’s at his book club. Like this dinner meant nothing to him. Her face kills me. Trying to just shake off the hurt. Melissa crushes this scene btw. My heart breaks for her over and over. Lucy continues to brush it off and say they can have a girls night to celebrate then. Her mom drops the hammer very early. Doesn’t even try to pretend to be happy about her graduating to P2. Says she isn't there to celebrate.

Saying how they need to talk about this whole police thing. Like it’s just been some random hobby the last year or so for her. Even gives a sarcastic 'Brava.' Like she didn’t almost friggin die from this 'hobby' last year. Telling her to do something meaningful with her life. To get a real profession. The emotional abuse happening in this scene hurts to watch. It gets under my skin as the hits keep coming. Basically saying what she’s doing doesn’t mean anything. Once again Melissa is wonderful in this scene. Watching how it slowly escalates and her body language through out. Trying to take what her mother is telling her and not let it affect her. It works for a little bit but not long...

States she wants Lucy to do something she’s proud of. One of the rudest things to tear your child down with. To only think of yourself and how their decisions make YOU look. Pisses me off so much. Just because my parents are the same damn way. To only think of themselves and not of their child. Such a narcissistic way to view Lucy and what she’s done with her life. How her career embarrasses them and they'd prefer her to just leave the last year or so behind. Just because it doesn't puff them up around their friends.

My parent's are obsessed with status as well. If I'm not using my degree (which I only got for them BTW) for a job it's not something to be proud of. Even though the job I currently have gives me independence to live on my own with no roommates (which is not cheap these days), pay all my own bills, and take care of me and my dogs with no help. But since it's not what they consider a profession to be proud of they aren't proud of me. So I relate painfully so to Lucy in this scene. Also the school thing such a boomer answer. My parent's are the same way.

To think school is the only answer to everything. That obsession with status and only wanting your kids to do their approved career choices. What makes them look good and smell good in front their social circle. Instead of thinking hey my kid is happy, they’re providing for themselves, they love what they do. They’re independent. No they only think how it negatively impacts them. I'm so mad for Lucy because I’ve lived this. The heartbreaking way she asks ‘Can’t you just support me?' Thinking why is this such a big ask?

This is why the support she gets from Tim is EVERYTHING to her. Why she lives and breathes for it. When you’re torn down your entire life it’s hard to have self esteem. Hard to believe you’ll ever be good at something. Even if you are you don't truly believe you are until someone tells you repeatedly. Emotional abuse growing up leaves lasting scars. You can see where it all stems from for Lucy in this one scene with her mother.

Her mom goes on to tell her to find a career that really helps people. Like a doctor. Uh she has. You just don’t like it. Says she doesn't mean to be blunt, but really she does. If her mom would take her head out of her ass for two seconds. She would see Lucy already has all the things she’s harping on her to achieve. I want to hug Lucy so much while her mom berates her. Giving me flashbacks to my own mother. The pot shots leave wounds that are hard to heal.

The way she says ‘They'll always love her but’ and there’s the emotional manipulation. Basically saying our love has a price tag and that tag is the job of OUR choice. Not the one that makes you happy but the one that is socially acceptable for them. The way she cringes and moves away from her mother's touch. Knowing it’s manipulative. Hurts my soul to watch. Last thing she wants right now is fake affection.

I do need to commend her for having the backbone to tell her mom to give her space. I've never had the guts to stand up to my mom. I just avoid her like the plague these days. Rarely interact with her. Easy when she lives on the other side of the country. All the way in Alaska and can stay there. So huge props to Lucy for being overwhelmed and setting a boundary in this moment.

That if she’s done expressing what a disappointment she is that she can just leave. Her mom doesn’t fight her in the least really. She does a little stomp trying to exude some power over her. It doesn't work. Then Lucy yells at her to go and she finally takes off. Phew. Hard scene to watch. The shot that pans out of Lucy is a great one but a heartbreaking one. Makes me so emotional to watch this scene. This scene resonates with me so much in the worst way. I wanna hug her so badly in that last gif. Wishing Jackson was there to do it for me.

The cuteness continues for Tim and Angela while they taste test cakes. This is a much needed contrast to Lucy's SL atm. Angela sighs and says this is stupid. That no matter what she picks Patrice will overrule her. Tim is sitting there all arms crossed. Has become one of my fav poses for him. Yum Tum. Says all authoritatively ‘Don’t let her.’

What I’m loving about theses scenes is we’re getting background on Tim. Which I always love getting. Why am I not surprised his dad got drunk and ruined his wedding? That his whole family seems like one giant disaster zone? (Other than Genny) I love him taking his past experience to help guide Angela with her wedding. Such growth. Saying a million things like what his wedding had you can’t control. But this she can. So to pick what she really wants.

Angela says she wants a Tres Leches cake, but Patrice will think it's too ethnic. SMH ..Tim goes into protect mode once again. I love it sfm. Letting her know ‘Screw Patrice. If she has a problem with Tres leches or anything else for that matter she can answer to him.’ Side note anytime Eric says any Spanish word I wanna climb him like a tree. He says it with the right inflection and it’s sexy af. You know he learned all that from his wife and I love it. Feral Caitlin will cool down now but hot damn. Protective Tim and a slight accent with a Spanish word? Lord help me. Also in the black hoodie? He’s trying to kill me.

Angela replies really? Tim nods his head and says 'Hell yeah.' Then proposes to him with a cookie to be her man of honor baha I love this episode for them. He tells man of honor isn’t a thing...She says yes it is. Lets him know he’s only person who’s made her feel sane. That she needs him to get through this wedding. He caves and says fine hehe Angela tells him his first duty is to fire her current made of honor Gretchen LMAO His reply ‘What?! ‘ I’m rolling. I love this man so much.

We catch Lucy and Jackson at the station next day getting their war bags loaded. Lucy saying he got in late must’ve had a good time. He shows her the necklace they gave him. St. Michael. Patron saint of cops. Lucy looks jealous and asks if his parents will adopt her? Jackson immediately sensing something is wrong. He asks if she had trouble with her folks? Picking up on Tim’s habit of being a lying liar who lies. She isn’t truthful with him and he can see right through it. The concern written all over his face.

Angela invites Gretchen to the station to be fired by Tim. It’s too funny. Tim asks why she can’t fire her? She says she’s working a case and has to go. Tim calls her a coward when he see’s Gretchen arrive lol. Another fun piece of history for Tim. He was at Angela’s nieces quinceanera. It’s how he introduces himself to Gretchen seeing as they met there before. Love them being close enough friends for him to attend that.

Gretchen is legit eyeing him the entire scene. Her eyes checking him out up and down. Can’t blame her look at the man. He is a sight to behold. Low key hits on him asking him if wants to make a little extra cash as the stripper? LMAO Too bad Lucy isn’t around to see this interaction. He always gets so flustered when someone does. I swear he doesn’t know the gorgeous creature he is when they do this.

Tim tells her she’s been fired from MOH. His cute little look when he says Angela picked him to be her man of honor. He’s happy to do it for her but doesn’t want anyone to hear it....lol You think she’s gonna be mad. Nope just relieved. Telling Tim it’s been a nightmare. Pulls out this massive book of ‘Patrice’s picks’ and the anti-anxiety meds that come with it. My god. Also the phone just for wedding needs. Tim’s face is hilarious he looks so very overwhelmed.

Lucy and Jackson get to end their day on a high note. They were able to link up with Nolan/Harper on their OP. Rescued a little girl and got her safely back to her mom. This scene is so validating for Lucy. Reminding her despite what her parents think this is her calling. That this is the right path for her and she’s helping people like she wanted to. May not be the way her parents approve but she is. Grey telling them that little girl wouldn't be here without their hard work. They're being put up for an award too from Grey as well. That is the icing on the cake for her in this scene. She needed this after that horrible fight with her mother.

We find Tim and Angela on the rooftop walking toward something. She asks him what he’s doing? He tells her ‘Being your man of honor.’ They walk up to a trashcan that has the 'Patrice picks' book in it. He tells her he has one job. Give her the wedding she wants. He douses it all in the lighter fluid. Hands her the lighter and asks if she cares to do the honors? Then Angela praises him and calls him amazing.

He could not be cuter when she says this to him. Being Tim he deflects it with sarcasm saying ‘All the time.’ Ha! It’s much different than the smile we get out of him in 5x13 when Lucy calls him amazing. But it is different when the love of your life calls you that vs your bestie. Still I love this for him. The Patrice phone rings and Angela tosses it in the fire. Tim has them step back cause the battery in it is gonna explode LOL Such a damn cute episode for Tim I can not stand it.

Best part of the episode for Lucy is this next scene. I love Jackson so very much for his loyal and loving friendship. Also for how he handles this whole thing. Knowing something is off with her. He called her mom and was told what her mom said. Tells Lucy he told her mom if she didn’t apologize to her she wasn’t going to set foot in their apartment again. Such a good friend. That’s a true blue bestie right there.

Then he follows it up with something even sweeter. Handing her a jewelry case saying this was from the West family. To remind her there are people out there who are proud of her. Proud of what she’s accomplished. I’m melting this is so damn sweet. I might get a cavity. He helps her put it on. Then tells her he’s taking her to dinner. For baseball steaks. She asks if they can do sushi instead? LOL Jackson easily concedes and says ‘Deal.’ He'll do whatever she wants.

Jackson takes care of Lucy so well. Filling that role until Tim is ready to step in and take his place. He would’ve been SO SO happy for her and Tim. To see Lucy be taken care of and treated like a Queen. Which she so very much deserves. To see her properly loved and happy. Makes me emotional thinking he’ll never get to see how happy Tim has made her.

Such a good episode even though Chenford were apart their SL’s separately were so good. What makes them so great. Can have amazing SL’s even when apart. Although I prefer them together heh.

Side notes-Non chenford

Getting to see Capt Anderson in their graduation flash back. My heart. I miss her.

The flashbacks to them at school were every cute. Lucy kicking ass in their combat classes. Of course she did. Nolan even commenting 'Think twice before taking on recruit Chen’ Obviously.

Nolan had a SL but I didn’t care about it until it involved Jackson and Lucy 😂

Thank you as always to those to like, comment, reblog and support these reviews. They’ve helped me a lot getting through this extended hiatus. I hope they’ve been helping you all as well. Shall see you in 3x11 :)

[sagaschan]

Frieren anime is over... and i realized with that last ep that frieren's previous party specifically was anti-angst. No regrets on this hero's journey. Meandering to their heart's content. If it's going to take 10 years to get to the final boss's lair it's going to take 10 years. Kings of mindfulness. Frieren sleeps in and is always on the lookout for grimoires, himmel gets to be as vain as he wants with the statues also having the added benefit of keeping frieren company for ages on, heiter is handedly dragged along on his hungover days and gets to frolick with eisen when not. Eisen is remarkably chill. None of them are in any hurry(or is able to be convinced with good cheer that pushing themselves for a supposed greater good couldn't be more important than the here and now), and conflict is near nonexistent thanks to the stress-free environment. If they'd failed to kill the demon king they'd probably have patted each other on the back and tried again next year. Truly the height of friendship. Which is probably why it worked.

And of course that's the perspective with which frieren inducts fern onto journeying. Fern disagrees with some of it, understandably. It's different with different people. Got to love those differing dynamics.

But just the way the story keeps facing subject matter such as longevity and loss and rememberance head-on and sidestepping the obvious pitfalls so neatly.. building its entire theme upon these contrasts. The power of friendship did save the world. Frieren who is stoic by nature, but has a love for magic that hasn't dulled in a thousand years and is deliberately learning every day how to walk in sync with the people around her. Fern takes after frieren in so many ways and her humanness breaks my heart. I like that stark readily admits his cowardice and basically occupies the heroine sidekick position. An especially satisfying detail would be that himmel got friendzoned by frieren and was fine with it. And serie, you prideful creature of a million unsaid contradictions..... I'm excited to see what other stories the manga has to tell, that's for sure.

[emeryhiro]

Thank you so much for answering my questions last week!! Your answers were so insightful and interesting, and have made me even more excited for the book of carol!!

That's awesome to hear that you're more confident about caryl canon after watching ep one. I totally agree with you about how them being alone will open up opportunities for it in a way it never has before. And i agree that if it doesn't happen, it's probably because Melissa & Norman don't want it (which I'd be super disappointed about but would respect their choice). But from everything I've seen, i also think they do want things to go in that direction!

Haha emotional and unhinged are great words to describe caryl in general! And I'm excited for nostalgia. The emojis are intriguing! They're making me think Carol blows up a plane, hopefully once she's safely in France lol! And that's interesting about how the people at the nest treat Daryl, that also frustrated me in s1!

I had a couple of other questions but no worries if you can't answer any of them:

1 Do we see anything specifically relating to Carol from Daryl's pov in this ep? Or is he talking generally about 'people at home'?

2 What did you think of the opening credits?

3 Did you see the ep title? I'm really curious about what that might be!

4 Where would you rank the ep in terms of your fave twd eps?

Thanks again for everything you've shared! I love how you've given us hopeful teasers without spoiling the details!

Hey Anon ♡

You're so welcome!!! I've been having a lot of fun answering your questions, so feel free to let me know if you have any others, and to be honest, I'm happy with any excuse to talk about Caryl 😅

Mild spoiler warning for my response to question 1 ♡

1) No, there was no situation where Daryl directly spoke about Carol. However, I do think there's a good reason for it, which I've spoken about in detail in a previous post [HERE]. It's also important to note the screen time division; episode one is about 85% Carol and 15% Daryl, so we don't get many scenes with him and very little dialogue. The dialogue that we do hear from him sounds very frustrated and resentful as if he's tired of being held back by the Nest and wants to leave as soon as possible (like he's rushing a resolution for the conflict in France).

The line below that we hear in the teaser is actually in episode 1, and it's the only time he references anything about home.

"I don't know if this is the place I'm supposed to be. I've been thinking about all the people I left behind, wondering if they're still thinking about me."

This is then followed by a few other lines where, in no uncertain terms, he says that he doesn't think he'd ever be happy at the nest.

2) I loved the opening credits; there were some really nice animated scenes of Carol that I really liked, and my favourite is the closing shot of the opening credits which is one of Carol and Daryl together. 🥰

3) No, unfortunately, I don't remember seeing or hearing anything about the episode title. But I think they'll announce the title either during San Diego or the following week, but most probably during the next screening of episode one that's being held on the 26th of July (tonight).

4) Honestly, episode 1 is now my favourite episode of TWD. It hit all the right emotional notes and delved deep into Carol's mindset, which is way overdue. It also had the walker action and suspense that left me on the edge of my seat (literally) the entire time. Melissa is incredibly talented and has everything it takes to play a leading character, especially one like Carol, who has so much depth and layers.

I have no doubt that the rest of the episodes will be just as good, if not better, especially the reunion episode!! And I'm confident that this season will be my favourite of all time, from any show.

~~~~

Thanks again for the questions! Once again, they were a joy to answer😊🩵 I'm sorry if this was a little delayed. I've been very busy with my uni finals during the past couple of weeks, and I wanted to wait until I had enough time to give your questions proper responses.

Also, I can't believe today is the day we finally see the trailer!!! I'm SO EXCITED, and my brain/emotions are already on overdrive. I also apologise in advance 'cause I already know I'm gonna be over analysing it and sharing my thoughts as soon as I can 😅

[buckevantommy]

alright i finally managed to get a copy of the ep and i'm watching it on my smallass iphone screen which isn't ideal but i can't wait 3 days to get access to a bigger screen so here we go:

i need to know if that rainbow flare on buck was intentional

i might be looking too hard but that hand grabbing buck's throat and then eddie's junk could be foreshadowing for you know what, i mean who's to say?

oliver deserves a fucking oscar for his nervous smitten buck performance

tommy shaved for their date which is so old school i love it but i also miss the scruff and need to see its return asap

hints of Tommy Backstory, my beloved

the convo about renting out a home with marisol and eddie but including buck is making me think of how buck is possibly being 'rented out' to tommy in the narrative for now but later eddie will be the one to buy

i understand tommy ending their date early but WHAT HAPPENED to him picking up buck from his loft?? and don't tell me he ubered for a first date when we know he drives. although i get not wanting to drink and drive ig

also: tommy was meant to pick up buck at 8pm and now they've finished dinner so wtf is eddie and marisol doing starting their dinner at like 930pm is that an LA thing bc that's insane

'oldest italian restaurant' sign just makes me think of tommy and buck's age gap and i giggle and gasp

buck's reaction to being rejected is breaking my hearrrrt. tommy opened him up to his sexuality and buck was So Excited and now this guy is just dumping him?? who is he supposed to bounce his restless bisexual energy off now??

we're not even 10mins in so i have no idea what the bulk of this ep is gonna be about

oH YEAH THE GAY MOMS pls let them be happy

BUCK COMES OUT TO MADDIE ACCIDENTALLY like a true bisexual disaster

The Guy Thing is very much The Point buck, you sweet thick cinnamom scroll

buck is doubly an ally. he's a bially.

keep talking buck i am cackling you adorable baby bi

insane thing to have eddie post-sex with his nun gf after buck was gushing about tommy

it's okay buck, false starts with difficult convos happen, you'll get there

something something buck intending to come out to eddie and eddie explaining his sex problems all while eddie gets sweaty and swole

LIKE SEAMONKEYS! buck i adore you

buck wishes he could lend eddie a hand but he can't bc he's no homewrecker and bc eddie is quote unquote straight. not bc he himself is taken, bc the hot pilot dumped him and oh now i'm sad again :(

there's some buck+guilt [re:self worth] meta glanced over here that makes me wanna delve into some introspective reads

buck giving good advice is something that can be so personal

hen saving a rescue dog after it attacked the firefighter trying to save it as a parallel to their current foster child situation. it's just good storytelling. the dark stuff is getting hopeful

HANG OUT WITH THE BOYS eddie you don't know how perfect your words are

i really love the way they chose for buck to come out to eddie. trying to do it at a certain time didn't work for him, it was too daunting. but as soon as eddie mistook buck's date with tommy for something platonic? buck doesn't want to hide anymore. it really speaks to the human and especially the queer experience - that need to correct someone's misinterpretation (someone important to buck) of who you are.

GAY TOMMY CONFIRMED

supportive eddie and 'this doesn't change a thing between us'

buck finally getting to talk to his friend about getting dumped by a guy he was really hoping for more with

eddie's turn to give good advice to buck re:his dating life and we come full circle

buck's relief at eddie knowing and accepting him. the double-back for the hug. the comfort is all there.

i want to shower the wardrobe department in love for putting buck in that slutty blue 70s polo for his date within tommy and then the sky blue sweater and now this tight stripey number i am digging the vibes

buck hearing that he didn't screw things up with tommy, tommy just didn't want to pressure him bc the feels are mutual! and buck taking responsibility for his behaviour bc he's mature like that he's a good dude

i love lou but oliver literally glows - and i don't mean from the sunshine - he lights up every scene

the way buck gushed about tommy's confidence to maddie and now he's the confident one reassuring tommy that he wants this and that it won't be weird for tommy i am so proud of him

HOUSTON WE HAVE HAND HOLDING

sad my buddy chim was barely in this ep :(

WEDDING TEASER and we've got a Hangover situation and a missing groom omg

the writers are working their magic and we are reaping the rewards.

[alltimefail-sims]

I'm sure this has been done, but I wanted to showcase some of my favorite fem-frame looks from the new Horse Ranch EP.

More of my thoughts and some mediocre screenshots under the cut ↓

"There will be no horse content from me" she says only a few hours ago... like a lying liar. But I'm way out of my depth with this pack friends... I have no idea what I'm doing. I know nothing about horses or ranches lmfao, but I ended up testing the new pack out because I can't go into the Jacobs save until some mods are updated. Thus, Lea Hahn was born!

I was pleasantly surprised with the CAS items for this pack! Granted, three of the hairs I showcased above are BG, but I still kind of count them with the pack because they came with the prep-update. I love the dirtier clothes and wish more clothes from other packs came with dirty swatches.

Here's a picture of Lea and her horse, Bullet Train; an elder rescue who is supposed to be really defiant, but her and Lea actually clicked right away. 🥺❤️ Lea is already on level 3 horseback riding. I felt like the skill was gained surprisingly fast, but I guess I shouldn't complain haha.

Also, I can't tell if her jeans are glitching with the saddle's texture (the feet place - stirrups I think they're called?). But it looks like there is a texture issue there where the stirrups (?) are the same blue as the jeans... and if that is an issue, it should not be lmao. Especially not with clothes that literally came with the pack lmao... but I digress!

Need a good default eye for these horses. I think they're pretty cute but their eyes are soulless lmfao.

The build and buy stuff in this pack is probably my favorite that has come out in a while. TS4 is good at looking good, and the decor does not disappoint. I love the "shabby" look, I love all the wood tones and the textures. HOWEVER - I am upset there are references to basket weaving, but basket weaving is not a skill. Pottery would have been a great skill for this EP too. I just want more things to do with my sim. For $40.00, I think they should have threw in at least one more skill-building activity, but that's just my opinion.

As for the world/townies, I really like this one. I wasn't crazy about San Sequoia, but I'm loving this world. (Go figure, I'm a Strangerville girly so we already knew that would be the case.) Lea met her neighbors, Don Gooseman and the "Mysterious Rancher" who were really helpful and kind, despite her being incredibly awkward because she's a loner.

Final bright side: I'm shocked that I haven't encountered any major bugs like... at all. Usually new EPs are riddled with issues, but so far things seem to be pretty smooth. That is a welcome change, but the bar is in hell when we're excited about an EP being functional upon release lol...

I haven't tried nectar making, but I'm going to try that tomorrow so uhhhh... more thoughts to come I guess. If you read all of this... ily❤️.

Okay bye!

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 15

Well, I watch a lot during the week, as you all might know. I really want to write a little bit more about the stuff I watch, but time and work kind of get in my creative way. So I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists and this is a good excuse for me to create a new OneNote journal!).

The Promise is on hiatus, so it didn't make it on this week's list.

↑ 1. The Eighth Sense (Ep 5+6)

I love it. This series is so brilliantly good. What I especially like are those little gestures, like how excited JaeWon was when he called JiHyun and how he smiled when he told his therapist about him. The entire beach scene made me melt. What a wonderful love scene! Very aesthetically pleasing and realistic, because you can have fun with something like this and explore the other in a playful way, not everything has to be oversexualized. The series really does so much right here! The end of the episode on the other hand…I have read quite a few analyses about the next episodes and I guess we will suffer together with Jaewon, who will fall back into his old pattern and his old life to not cause more harm to the one he cares for the most and in the end harming himself, because he can't live the life he desperately wants; and we will suffer with Jihyun, who is in love and understands that Jaewon has some baggage, but is left alone in the end and is hurting and that will make my heart hurt very much and thinking about all this makes me tear up...

→ 2. Unintentional Love Story (Ep 9 +10/Final)

One of the best encounters with an ex took place this week. And Wonyoung kicked that guy's ass! In general, he has grown a lot over the episodes and has undergone a good character development. He has gained more confidence and seems more mature than he did at the beginning. I also found the phone call between Wonyoung and Taejoon a good solution to make Taejoon realize that it's not just Wonyoung who did something wrong and that the past can definitely get in the way. All the nicer that they end up watching the sunset together. I liked the series a lot.

☼ 3. Our Dining Table (Ep 2)

Yes, this won't be the most dramatic thing we're currently seeing, but that's just fine. It is a pleasant and calm balance in this rather hectic series environment. Everywhere they try to lure you in with more action, more suspense and drama, more trauma or more sex and here we have a young man overcoming his eating disorder and finding a family with the help of two brothers. It's nice and quiet and doesn't hurt anyone. I'm really looking forward to the next episode and can't wait to see what they will cook next and where their conversations will take them.

↑ 4. Chains Of Heart (Ep 9)

Okay, we now have a psychic on board who can see people's past by touching them…Nothing really surprises me anymore! But seriously, what an episode! Finally we have Mr. Lue/Din and Ken together! Even though Ken seems to be in denial that Mr. Lue is Din? I think he knows, but can't stand the thought of Din lying to him all this time. So Mr. Lue is supposed to make him forget what he knows and wow, he does! These two were really starving for both affection and passion. What else happened? The scene also made me forget what happened next. Hin is the older brother of Din…Wouldn't have thought that, I thought he is the younger one. And then he is also the brain-cell of the whole episode! I am very impressed, he seemed more like the simple-minded shadow of Yu. All in all, once again a very good episode.

↑ 5. A Boss And A Babe (Ep 7)

So Gun is just the best in this series.

How he came into Cher's room after the shower and just doesn't give a shit what others think and says goodbye with "I'll wait in bed." And Cher's friends…they already know something since the BBQ, but they happily ignore it away. That's another way of dealing with it. Some say that not much happens and the show has no real plot. Does something outstanding always have to happen? Aren't everyday problems and how to deal with them sometimes enough? Like the problems with the foster brother or overcoming a first love and discovering a new, different love. I really liked walking with Cher through his life this week.

☼ 6. Naked Dining (Ep 1)

What do you do when you want to relieve stress? I craft or watch series or listen to loud music. Our protagonist eats…naked. And feels free. Honestly, if it helps? Who am I to judge? He finds a letter in the mail from his grandmother, who has already passed away. She wrote the letter six months ago and put it into a program that sends mail at a chosen time. He visits the house to clean it up and relax a bit from the stressful world of work. There he meets Miki Mahiro, who has taken the grandmother on a culinary journey to discover the world in this way. And as fate would have it, he discovers that our protagonist likes to be naked while eating. The scene was hilarious!

↓ 7. Bed Friend (Ep 9)

I'm only watching now because it'll be over soon. The series started really strong, but somehow it lost me. The positive thing about this episode was that for once there was no drama and Uea could take a breath (okay, except maybe at the very beginning, but that's positive drama when the former abuser is arrested and the abusive mother is done with the world). And finally Uea came around and accepted King as his boyfriend. It was getting a bit exhausting to see King begging and at the end I was just confused what their status is now. The introduction to King's parents I found really charming, between door and hinge. So not the hit for me this week.

☼ 8. My Story (Ep 1)

There's so much going on that I've lost track of everything. But one guy is a cook and goes to Thailand to earn money and meets the future love of his life there. And another one takes in a young man in his dormitory, which the dean finds totally fine, also that they have to share the bed together and that's why he just gets put up there from school and you can already tell in episode one that the two of them are going to be exciting. They have definitely stolen the show for me.

→ 9. Tin Tem Jai (Ep 7)

Now why the hell did Park have this change of heart? It feels like yesterday he wanted to do everything to convince Tin that he doesn't like him and will never marry him, and suddenly they're sitting in the living room and he confesses to him, in the creepiest way possible, that he tried to think of him as just a brother, but the older Tin got, the prettier he got…What masterful mind-brain came up with this dialogue? And those random jumps in time and space, and why didn't Tin and Park talk to each other? And Park really only has three emotions…annoyed, tired or neutral…Nothing else comes across…I can't really feel his affection for Tin either. Anyway…Three more episodes and if this doesn't end with the wedding of the two, I'll throw hands.

→ 10. PastSenger (Ep 6)

Okay, they like each other. Everybody likes each other. I just can't see the chemistry between Plawan and Moodaeng. For me, there's nothing there and it feels a little too rushed how Plawan got over his crush on Bamee. Then Kiev and Bamee…just talk to each other! But no, argue. And by the way it's totally normal when your friends want to interfere in your life or at least worry! What kind of friends are they who just let him work in this place? I would have taken him in and looked for something more suitable…And Franc is suddenly not so bad after all and makes her laugh? Very fast and confusing changes that happened this week. And I'm not talking about the kisses…Except maybe you shouldn't have held the camera on them quite so long…Had to look away briefly at the drunken mouth on mouth placement…

[quackle]

I thought that person would win the season after saw last episode. But they did have a good arc though and might be one of more likable people at this point.

disventure camp all stars spoilers under cut!!:

i ALSO thought grett was a guaranteed finalist since this season first began. she had the type of arc that would carry on so well to the finale. seeing her at the start struggling inside her relationship with yul + her slight lack of self confidence, to seeing her now, more independent and "like her old self," yet still so different from past grett, just screamed finalist to me.

so seeing a leaked picture of her eliminated right after i clocked out on a tuesday afternoon on the top of my feed on twitter dot com was... shocking for me, to say the least. and seeing it unfold now was even more shocking.

BUT... i DO understand what ally did, working together with jake for once to get one of the strongest competitors out of the game. to ally, taking out grett was best for her own gameplay. i know others disagree with ally's choice—hell, i somewhat disagree too (though that might be my "grett was supposed to win" bias taking over)—but like grett said, she would have DEMOLISHED these remaining contestants in that finale. grett wasn't just "some safe, guaranteed way for ally to get a spot in the finale." grett was a picture clear threat, trying to appeal to all sides in the game so she can breeze on by and get that win while everyone else fumbled. and i full heartedly believe grett would have won! look at this queen!

overall, i did enjoy grett's arc in this season a lot and im excited to see bits of her in the motel ep coming up soon. i feel her character is more fleshed out + i was so happy seeing her later in the merge interact with riya, ally, and especially gabby.

(but in another life, my politest fav would have won... i'll miss you queen </3 )

[swan-orpheus]

finale:

noun

noun: finale; plural noun: finales

the last part of a piece of music, a performance, or a public event, especially when particularly dramatic or exciting."the festival ends with a grand finale"

Did it feel like that to anyone? Because I feel like they were unclear on the concept. It was not devoid of excitement, but it was far from being "particularly dramatic or exciting". It took a rather safe course with a bit of lackluster window dressing and one or two gut punches that end abruptly before we can properly process them or respond emotionally, to get the characters to the confrontation with the villain which winds down in much the way that you'd expect, and all of that after swiftly and perfunctorily solving various problems/tying up some loose ends that were pieces of story to be told rather than distractions to be sorted and discarded without pause or a second thought.

Hemlock doesn't even try to prolong things by talking or justifying his attitudes and behavior in a way that might have made him more compelling. He just tosses out the empty-ish threat of taking Omega down with him (as desperate villains often do in this situation) and Omega , who at all times need to be in control in this ep, cheekily retorts. They make the shot, they go home. And there is some perfunctory dialogue in there about making amends or finding one's path etc. I would even go so far as to say that a bit of the dialogue in the finale felt akin to small talk-underwhelming and space filling. I was waiting for someone to Say The Thing or to Go There and it rarely winds up happening, that moment where you punch the air and go, "Yes!".

There is not very much emotional payoff and when we did get any, I felt kind of numb, usure how to react. We don't get to see Crosshair react to having his hand amputated, we don't get to see Emerie get angry because she's been a victim, or Hemlock lose his all pervasive cool as he's about to die. Jax doesn't start to freak out as they are climbing or seize up because one motivational sentence is enough to allow him to climb an absurd amount of rungs up a vertiginous shaft.

As somone who is terrified of heights, I can tell you, that is not what happens. I tried walking across the Golden Gate Bridge as a child and I started to panic. I still cannot do it as an adult. I feel weird all over and "bad" and my legs stop working.

I would have liked it if Omega and company had had to help him there and they all had had a chance to acknowledge being afraid rather than tossing in a joke about the baby sleeping through the Zillo. It would have made the danger feel more immediate. As it was, I did not for one moment feel afraid for the kids. In fact, I rarely felt afraid for anyone in the finale. It felt rather devoid of stakes for the issue that I think I've outlined of the tone being off. I ought to have been afraid for Wrecker but he keeps getting hit over and over again and gets up every time which signaled to me that they were not serious about making good on their threat to kill him. The same thing occurs with Crosshair when Hemlock threatens to recondition him for good. We pan away and then it is never even brought up again which felt like part of the scene was missing. (Not that I would have wanted the cliché scene of Crosshair fighting his brothers and struggling against it after he's already completed an entire arc where he defeats his demons so to speak...) Was this supposed to be the followup to Rampart's remark doubting that Crosshair has changed? Do not even get me going on that dropped thread.

We speed past logistical issues in a way that is incongruous in order to arrive at the happy ending, and then once we get back to Pabu, it feels like a relief but also oddly underwhelming. Echo looks over at Omega but they do not exchange words after their mutual ordeal or so much as hug. He's been stabbed in the back/shoulder but barely flinches.

I was so caught up in what never got explained or addressed or commented on that I was having a hard time connecting with Omega and Hunter in the epilogue, which also had my brain going, "Okay, but where is everyone else? And what about this thing and that thing and...."

If something resonates emotionally and you get recognition of and closure on the urgent bits, then you are not left in a muddle by the conclusion or wondering how certain things were apparently magically solved or why they are glossed over.

The happy ending actually feels earned in that case.

[lmjupdates]

TOUR DIARY: AN EVENING WITH LAUREN JAUREGUI

The singer spoke with V exclusively about her pre-show rituals, taking control over her music, and latest release, "Trust Issues" March 31, 2023

TEXT: KALA HERH

Sitting backstage at a historic amphitheater in Mexico, Lauren Jauregui beams with excitement. As soothing meditation music softly plays in the background, the musician puts the final touches on her makeup. This is Lauren’s sacred space, and there’s nothing but high vibrations and good vibes. Tonight marks the last show of her Latin American tour, “Una Noche Con Lauren Jauregui,” which saw the artist visit Brazil and Chile before arriving in Mexico City. And while there’s been plenty of peaks in Lauren’s career thus far–there's been nothing quite like this, which celebrated her first solo EP, “Prelude.”

“I kind of treat each one of these concerts like a meditation, like a mass meditation,” Lauren says on zoom, a week after her tour wrapped. “There's so much energy in the room, and it's an opportunity to channel all that energy toward positive things.”

Throughout the night, she zigzagged between high-octane hits from her discography, lavishing in the crowd’s energy and, in turn, giving it back to them. She opened the show with “Slow” and moved on to more electric hits like “While I’m Alive” and “50 FT,” which were sung by all the attendees. After her hit “Colors,” the stage went dark, revving up the crowd’s anticipation. When the lights came back on, she performed “Expectations” and ended the night with the showstopper, “Piña.” And just before Lauren left the stage for the night, red roses descended upon her from the crowd, showering Lauren with love.

“It’s so special to be able to write music that really resonates with my soul and spirit and then be able to go into rooms with thousands of people who are singing those songs back to me,” Lauren gushes. “That is such a special thing to me, such a special energy exchange.”

Today, the artist continues on her path of producing new music, releasing “Trust Issues.” The personal ballad retells the story of Lauren’s emotional journey–trying to navigate new love while working through old heartbreak. It’s an incredibly raw and intimate look into the musician’s psyche, an experience many can relate to. The accompanying music video, directed by Farah Idress, sees Lauren coming off a performance and immediately in the studio recording. For someone who we’re used to seeing on the stage in maximalist jumpsuits, it strikes an especially sensitive note. Here, Lauren is stripped down to just her vocals.

“I wrote 'Trust Issues' actually after a breakup–kind of at the same time I wrote, ‘Always Love,’” Lauren shares. “I went to Bali, and I worked with a few different songwriters and producers. The song is pretty straightforward. It's about having trust issues and how we all have trust issues. But also how you can feel reserved but also want to explore more romantic connections when you’re unhealed and have that conversation with a potential lover.”

A week before the musician dropped her latest track, she sat down with V to talk about its inspiration, creative process, and of course, touring. For more on Lauren, read below.

V MAGAZINE: Congrats on a beautiful tour! From what I saw on social media, it looked like so much fun!

LAUREN JAUREGUI: Thank you! It was a lot of fun.

V: Do you have a favorite memory from the tour?

LJ: The whole thing was so magical. I went to seven different countries, and each night was special in its own right. So it's hard for me to pick a favorite. But I will say one of the shows that I really loved was my show in Peru. Peru wasn't originally on the list of places I was supposed to tour, but I loved it because it was in an amphitheater, and it ended up being one of the largest venues that I got to perform at. That night there was also a full moon, and I was wearing red. I was able to connect with the music and fans that night really intimately.

V: That sounds like a magical experience. I also wanted to ask you about your tour outfits. What makes a good outfit? And how do you select them?

LJ: It just depends on how I'm feeling. My stylist Raz Martinez helped me curate my tour looks, and we picked from a few different designers that I really love and really connect with. And I had a different color for every night of the tour.

V: They looked incredible. Do you have any specific pre-show rituals to help you get ready for a show?

LJ: I'm pretty lowkey, actually. I do my meet and greet, and then after, I take some time to decompress and listen to some music.

V: Any artists in particular?

LJ: I listen to either some R&B or meditation music.

V: Yeah, help you get into the mindset.

LJ: Those help me a lot. They help calm me and relax the system. And then, I pray with my team. I think prayer is what I tap into the most. Right before I go on, I grab hands with the dancers that are around me and just thank God for the opportunity to be able to do what I love to do.

V: I love that. And how would you describe a typical concert of yours?

LJ: Well, there's a lot of singing going on. The crowds are usually so invested and present. It's so beautiful. And I think it’s a lot of empowerment and connection too. I treat each one of these concerts like a meditation, like a mass meditation. There's so much energy in the room, and it's an opportunity to channel all that energy toward positive things.

V: I can imagine it’s a very high vibrational space.

LJ: Yeah, we need as much light in this world as we can get at this point.

V: Totally. And as an artist and musician, what do you like most about performing?

LJ: I've always loved being able to embody the songs that I've written. When I was younger, I used to choreograph dances and put performances on just getting to do that is so surreal. I had a moment on the plane to the first show in Argentina where I cried because I was like, "Wow, my little me is living her dream across the world.” It’s so special to be able to write music that really resonates with my soul and spirit and then be able to go into rooms with thousands of people who are singing those songs back to me. That is such a special thing to me, such a special energy exchange.

V: I’m sure it is. And as you’re about to drop “Trust Issues” next week, how did this release come about?

LJ: I wrote “Trust Issues” actually after a breakup–kind of at the same time I wrote, “Always Love.” I went to Bali, and I worked with a few different songwriters and producers. The song is pretty straightforward. It's about having trust issues and how we all have trust issues. But also how you can feel reserved but want to explore more romantic connections when you’re unhealed and have that conversation with a potential lover.

V: Yeah, I feel like it’s something many people can relate to. So personally, how do you go about overcoming those obstacles?

LJ: I'm a pretty open person, and I really love until I'm given a reason not to love-type person. I've learned over time to protect myself a lot more. I’ve learned to keep pieces that are more vulnerable to myself until someone proves that they're worthy of trust. Also, I feel like sometimes people deserve second chances depending on the infraction against your energy. Sometimes people don't, and then there's a distance that's created and safe space that's created. But I feel like most people are really just learning how to love and learning how to love themselves authentically and learning how to love others authentically. We all kind of come from a lot of–the world that we live in is filled with capitalism, white supremacy, all of these different structures that really play a deep ingrained role. I have a lot of grace because a lot of people are healing and on their journey of healing.

V: I feel like that's a healthy point of view–to give people grace while still protecting your own energy. I hope a lot of people also resonate with that sentiment.

LJ: A lot of people give people like a million chances, expecting people to change but blaming themselves for the reason why someone won't change. And being like, "Oh, if I love harder, if I do this more–if I give more, then this person will learn to love me." And sometimes, when people break your trust, you must honor yourself too. You have to give yourself grace and be like, "You know what? This person doesn't resonate with who I want to be, and that's okay. It’s also not my fault."

V: So true.

LJ: I feel like people test their trust boundaries often because they think it's their fault, you know?

V: Totally. It’s a tough thing to learn–the sweet spot between protecting yourself and being considerate of others’ journeys. A couple of more questions for you before I let you go. I also watched the music video for “Trust Issues,” can you talk about its creative direction? What made you want to pursue a music video where we see you in the studio?

LJ: Yeah, I wanted it to be very raw and in the process. We go from the live performance of “Always Love” that I last dropped, and we see the stripping back of all the gimmicks–all of the glitz and glamor. You see me in the studio creating, which is a very raw space. And I feel like that's what “Trust Issues” is about–the rawness of being alive and vulnerable with somebody.

[minalblood]

Episode 8, here we go! Finally! Im dedicating this review to @noybusiness and @shallowseeker for the encouragements to return to this.

Oh yes, Loki/Gabe! I forgot that's this one. I will say I still could not tell you which one it is. I WILL try to figure that out by the end of this.

I appreciate Mary immediately going to wanting to punch her dad while he's unconscious. Top tier sentiments.

I love (read: am banging my head against a wall) that John thinks what happened last ep counts as having hit the Akrida "pretty hard". It's kinda laughable tbh. The Akrida have already shown extrmely adept at infiltration (basically their whole thing) as well as the whole swarm of locust vibes associated. What i mean by this is, they have no clue how many Akrida there are or where and the dozen or so Samuel got rid of could easily be such an expendable number. But John assumes they weren't... why? Based on what? I also highkey love that Carlos just fully skirts addressing John's remark here and instead refocuses on the case du jour while Lata and Mary also say nothing. It's just funny to me.

Yessss, Lata and Carlos team up!!!

Ughh Dean's talking about dreams and sacrifices, just rip my heart out why dont u? Tho I will highlight his words about gaining more than u lose, Ive always appreciated the fact that Dean prefers to focus on what he has if possible. And it's not like he doesn't have a plethora of regrets, but he has reached a point by like.. season 11/12 I'd say where he became content with himself enough not to wish it different. I also deeply love the acknowledgement of said sacrifices made, it's not this empty optimistic view of things, shit has been bad before, but that doesn't negate or dimish the good that you've also gotten/found.

Lata's absolute judgement and unimpresed reaction to what Carlos has just called a "cathedral" give me life. This ep I think is one where we really start to see some more contrast in Lata. Because up until now, she's certainly been there, has def had complexity, but now we're not just seeing her be excited about knowledge, but rather learn some of the minutiae of her personality. Like how she is not easily impressed and also her niche interests and Carlos' dont match. We've seen Carlos be interested in her hobbies before, begrudgingly and with vague horrified expressions, but intrigued nonetheless. The opposite, we can now see for sure, does not apply in reverse for Lata. She genuinely doesn't seem to give a shit about the supposed prestige of the Knave and is more than happy to fall back to what she enjoys.

I adore the bartender. He is my fav and I am endlessly mad he dies. I loved that man and his "leave me.tf alone kid" vibes.

Carlos not wanting Lata to know about Rivers Gemini is soo funny. And 100% reminds me of Dean and how he prefers to hide his interests so he isn't made fun of/keeps appearences. And this won't be the only Carloa Dean parallel this ep. Hell, Dean's intro words apply most to Carlos this ep as is.

I love the fact that Mary and John actually TALK about their relationship and boundaries and the kiss. The emotional maturity is astounding tbh.

Jericho immediately making his excuses for why he hadn't seen Brock when he died gave me apprehension when I 1st watched this ep live, but now it's very obvious he was preemptively giving his alibi. It's honestly subtly done especially when contrasted to how obvious Loki/Gabe are. Glorious mustache on him btw.

Carlos has a very... interesting view on hunting. Because on the one hand, it did kinda kill their dream of being a musician, but they alao very much approach hunting with a lot of enthusiasm and genuinely seem to enjoy it. Again, the Dean vibes are off the charts with this one. I love Lata for adressing and checking in with Carlos as well, just making sure they're ok.

The roadie/Loki/Gabe is also pretty obvious in hindsight. It makes little sense to have this dude just go fuck off but oh no actually lemme tell u exactly what u need.

Oh no, Millie and Samuel. I am not ready for this. They are so similar and so different at the same time. Mainly because I genuinely believe Millie by this point has had the chance to process part of her issues whereas Samuel very much so is ... Samuel. And you can see this plainly for both of them. They are similiar, they butt heads because of it, but Millie has spent all this episode giving both John and Mary the space they need to work their shit out, without making any of her usual comments except for the tea Ada gave Samuel and even then she's quick to retract her statement when the tea works. Samuel meanwhile spends a good chunk of the episode saying shit that only serves to diminish or undermine.

I do appreciate the confirmation that Samuel knew who the MoL are/were. It makes perfect sense for the Campbell's to know considering their hunting legacy. And it's endlessly funny thay both him and Henry (when he met Sam and Dean) put down the other's profession. It's a fun parallel (i hate it). Millie putting him in his place was very very satisfying for me.

I will forever be screaming about Chuck being front and centre in this episode several times. An episode where we have Loki/Gabe and is about music (Chucks already said music is where humanity popped off for him) and on top of that discusses the themes of making up ur life as you want it despite whatever fate decrees (aka hunting means sacrifice and death but Carlos get to perform on the best stage in the area in from.of their friends regardless). Not to mention that I constantly have Chuck saying he likes "front row seats" and "hiding out in plain sight" on a loop in my head. Like of course he'd be keeping an eye out for his faves or would've done so before he was defeated. The timeline's a bit messy here because either this version is no longer the Chuck that Sam and Dean fought and defeated and is essentially the leftover consciousness from this particular world or time happens sorta simultaneoualy? I lean toward the 1st tbh, but then the question still remains of how much does he know. It's very very incriminating that he is in fact there.

And all this to say that I cannot believe that we have Loki alone here. I don't see it, can't. It makes more sense to me to actively mess with the Campbell-Winchester bloodlines via fucking with their friends while giving a speech about playing ur part for Gabe. But then... it ain't like Loki's mythos don't also deal with themes of predestination... soo...

And it's so so obvious that Loki/Gabe is gunning directly for Carlos btw. Like so obvious.

The bartender deserved better and I will go down with this.

Yep, that tattoo is def a parallel to the Mark of Cain. Which again, interesting choice 🤔

I love Mary's no nonsense vibe with Samuel, especially when he's trying to fuck around and find out aka deflecting the bullshit he's been pulling.

The photossssss, yesss.

I need John Winchester to not say shit like "should treat her more like a daughter less like a soldier' because I will have a stroke. I am so so in agreement and applauding but simultaneously thinking how fucking rich it is that this comes from any version of him. I am.in paaain. I wanna kill SPN!John with my bare hands and hearing this John say shit like this only adds fuel to the fire.

Ah yes... the innuendo. Forgot bout that. More on it, the personality Loki/Gabe shows here matches Gabe wayyyyy more than Loki, but the outfit and earlier peronality matches Loki. Cannot speak to MO since that's fully dif fron SPN, no just deserts here. Just a very bitter demigod/archangel. I am starting to think they are actively working together here and are both present and fucking around. He really really hates Lata tho. Like he's gunning for Carlos, but actively scorns Lata. Interesting.

Also also the disappearing Jericho thing... yes Loki could, but we've most seen in with Chuck and Lucifer, so I fully believe that the version that gets Carlos to make a deal is heavily leaning towards Gabe moreso than Loki.

Maggie's books save the day once more. God Maggie could've been a glorious Woman of Letters (to quite Charlie) in another life.

Uuuuuh Samuel seeing how things have changes, yess. Makes sense of course he's the one who's literally been on the outside and not being influenced by the Dean meddling til now so he still relates everything to what used to be true of the people we've been watching. But they aren't the same anymore, shit's changed and they've changed. This is what I've been trying ro highlight as it's been happening these past 8 ep that led us to Samuel confirming it.

At least he's self aware hes not a people's person. I do appreciate the distinction between monsters that kill to survive vs those that kill for fun. (And I am once more wondering if I should just post my bachelor's on the nature of monsters in spn)

Winchesters and their family specials... Aaaand I just realized they SPN!John likely had made his moms recipe for Sam and Dean when they were sick... think Dean called it cure-all kitchen-sink stew? If I remember my spn correctly...

Uuuu it was Samuel who mentioned the weapon...not Lata as Loki/Gabe accuses and mocks.

I love the arguememt between Mary and Samuel. And am mad that Samuel actually shows more emotional maturity in explaning himself here than SPN!John every did... I feel like I'm chewing glass here fellas, pray for me. Wonderful self awareness actually, love the clear generational trauma "dont want you to hate me like I hated him" indeed Samuel. Aaaand he's pulling a SPN!Mary move of rationalising his being away and distant and working on his own while his kid worries and fights the same fight by saying he's doing it for her...

So Samuel is Spn!Mary and is fueled technically by the guilt of what his choices have wroth his child. And Millie is son!John and is fueled by the grief and rage of having lost her husband to the supernatural and is reflecting it onto on her kid.

But... vitally, both are trying to fix shit and are given the space/time to do so.

Fun fighting sequence.

The bait and switch is a Loki/Gabe classic.

The Samuel stabing his daughter... oooof. Not left handed??? That's what u based it on, you absolute moron! I agree with Loki/Gabe mocking Samuel here tbh.

I will say the personality has shifted a bit after the bait and switch. The version of Loki/Gabe is now simmering with barely contained anger and is far more serious in his comments. There's more bite to them. I do believe thats more Loki leaning.

"For someone your height, you're very loud" was a helluva projection for Loki/Gabe.

I adore how Carlos breaks the rules here. And it's based in the sacrifice of hunting, but it's not because of it per se. And in doing the selfless thing, impulsively I'd even say, he broke the deal/curse. Ah... the free will of it all.

It's a very interesting arguement that Loki/Gabe gives here about humanity. Could fit either really.

Lata's mild sadistic pleasure about annoying Loki/Gabe, my beloved.

Awwwwww, they're familyyyy

I still like the Millie and Samuel dynamic. It's kind ... juicy with trauma in such a specific way.

At least now Samuel tells Mary where he's going, rather than just taking off like an asshole.

Calling Samuel, Sam... oh John, you disaster of a person, I kinda love you.

Carlos being fully behind forgiving Jericho, lovely. And omg Jericho is basically Lee here, isn't he? Is that a stretch??

Uhhhh such a gorgeous fucking voice.

Fucking Chuck still there tho and it gives me anxiety even tho I know how this ends.

I do like seeing everyone during the song montage, love the forward movement of it. The future it sorta aludes to. And Mary deciding to go on with her and John's relationship only adds to this sentiment.

Aaaanddd Dean MOTHERFUCKING Winchester has join the chat. I remember that moment when I 1st watched this... on his bday. Such a great time seeing this live tbh and it still is a hell of a reveal now too.

See y'all next time where we'll be diving into my still unresolved trauma of the spn finale, vampires (my beloveds), the Ursitoare and how annoyed I am constantly about the pronunciation of most Romanian in English shows and much more!