#especially after her false suspension no doubt

[elina-sakura]

Okay, I had to reblog this in order to respond to some of the comments I got because for some reason it is not showing up in the comments, and that is just frustrating for me. So I’m just gonna reblog here not just to respond to the comments, but also so other people who has the same claims can see as well (and I don’t have to repeat myself over and over).

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT ATTACK ANYONE WHO HAS A DIFFERENT OPINION THAN MINE OR YOURS. AND PLEASE DO NOT ATTACK THE PERSON I’M RESPONDING TOO; THEY’RE ALLOW TO HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION THAN OURS, EVEN IF WE DON’T AGREE WITH THEM.

Okay, let me start with the responses.

“Marinette became confident after she became Ladybug.”

While that is true, that is not what I was referring too. I was referring to way before Marinette got the Ladybug Miraculous. In Origins Part 1, when we first see the two interact, Marinette didn’t seem all that scared of her. More like annoyed and just done with her, like she’s an annoying fly she has to tolerate with.

Now you could argue that maybe Marinette has hyped herself to build a backbone for herself by Socqueline’s words, and that could be the case. However, the problem is that you don’t just go from being scared of an abuser to having an attitude of just being done with her. It’s not like a straight line of improvement and changes, especially when it’s toward a girl whose goal seems to be to make her life miserable no matter what Marinette does, and (according to the timeline) almost got her drowned just a few months ago. You would think there would at least be some sort of apprehensiveness when meeting her bully again.

“Chloé toned down her attitude for Adrien.”

Here is where I disagree with your point. We have seen throughout the show that Chloé is completely fine with bullying others in front of Adrien, or admitting her wrongdoings to Adrien immediately. Like in Origins Part 2, Adrien sees Chloé and Sabrina putting gum on one of the seats and confronts her on it, and she just explains it to him and say “he has a lot to learn about school culture,” like this is normal behavior that they should be exhibiting. Considering how we later explore more on their social class, this kind of attitude seems to be uncommon and expected actually, so it’s not really unexpected from Chloé’s character. And Chloé continues to exhibit her awful behavior in front of Adrien and not try to hide it, like in Horrificator with insulting Mylène, Reflekta when she tried to force herself next to Adrien, and Despair Bear when she called the fire department, tried to frame Marinette for it, and lets the whole school get punish for her action while she gets out of it scot-free. And all those times, Adrien has called Chloé out on her behavior, but she doesn’t try to hide it or cover up her actions to make herself look good. She even won’t hide when she does something so big like Despair Bear when Adrien asks if she was the one who called the fire department, and instead of hiding it in risk it could upset Adrien, she just flats out admit to it like she expects him to not be bothered by it and share the same feelings as her. So it wouldn’t make sense why Chloé would tone down her attitude for Adrien when she doesn’t seem to try to hide it from him.

“Marinette has forgiven Kim for the prank, and knows Kim didn’t mean to hurt her.”

Now again, I can see where the idea comes from. Marinette’s forgiving nature is both a strength and a flaw of hers. While she is willing to forgive others when they hurt her, that doesn’t mean their actions hasn’t harmed her. She just tends to brush aside her misgivings when she learns they didn’t mean to hurt her. Now you could speculate maybe after Marinette learned how nice of a person Adrien is, maybe she decided to give Kim a second chance, believing he is still a nice person deep down.

However, there are a couple of problems that contradicts these statements.

First is that we have never seen Marinette and Kim talk to each other about the event. If this is such a big deal considering the flashback is suppose to be important (like a turning point in Marinette’s backstory), then we should see a moment of Marinette realizing maybe Kim isn’t that bad as she might have thought (despite what he did was more horrible than gum on her seat). However, what Derision shows is that Marinette still subconsciously believes that Kim was pretending to be nice to hurt her, as shown with her outburst towards Adrien. So if that’s the case, she should still have apprehensions with Kim at this point of time (which is suppose to be the end of the school year), which contradicts their interactions beforehand.

The second thing to point out, while following up on my last point, is that the whole point of the event that happened is to explain why Marinette is so overly-cautious of her crush with Adrien by getting to know every details about him, and one of the biggest emphasis she makes on making sure she knows about her crush is making sure they aren’t friends with Chloé. Now you can argue she decides to accept her feelings for Adrien is because she has seen him be kind in words and actions and vulnerable about his feelings, and she has acted on what she said in the flashback as well to know everything about him. But if she still believes her claims that she won’t interact with those who are friends with Chloé, she should still be apprehensive to be around Kim. After all, it’s Kim helping Chloé to humiliate Marinette that created her apprehension of anybody who are friends with Chloé.

My final point argues against the follow-up of the claim that Marinette knew Kim didn’t know. By that knowledge, it would mean Marinette have to know Chloé was solely at fault and she should be more wary of Chloé interfering with her love life again than being obsessed with knowing every details about her crush. Plus, it seems that Marinette only realizes that Kim wasn’t intending to hurt her after having gotten to know him over the school year and reflecting on her past trauma. Earlier in the episode, with how Marinette is still subconsciously worried Adrien could hurt her, then by extension, she should still believe Kim was in on Chloé’s prank, so that means their interaction, again, should be tensed.

“Marinette did try to give Chloé a second chance.”

Now this, I have to agree with Eris from the comments on. Marinette didn’t actually choose to give Chloé a second chance of her own will; she had to be nudged by both the narrative and the characters to do so in the episodes Despair Bear, Zombizou, and Malediktator. And in those episodes, the narrative frames it as Marinette was being unreasonable with Chloé (despite narratively having good reasons to not trust her) and learned to hold out hope that Chloé can change, so that’s why she gets that hope. But the episode Derision ends up proving Marinette’s apprehension right as she was practically abused by Chloé, and could have died by one of her pranks. She was making Marinette’s life miserable beforehand, it was even her goal. At least that’s what Derision tried to frame Chloé’s bullying as. Now it makes the characters look bad and the narrative even that you just forgive your abusers (and almost makes me glad Astruc actually stopped the redemption arc. Keyword being almost because this narrative was never introduced until years later audience-wise and the last season of the first narrative arc).

Now let me clarify, Marinette is in no way have to forgive Chloé even if she did get a redemption arc. Whatever Chloé did in the past, whether it’s petty teasing or making her life miserable everyday, it still affected Marinette to this day. So she does not owe Chloé any forgiveness unless she truly sees Chloé make an effort to change and sticks to it over the years.

So these are all my responses to the comments. I hope these arguments are critically valid, and you are free to try to argue back. I don’t really mind, it allows me to do critical thinking when it comes my argument. And thanks to the commenter for their comments, even if I don’t agree with you, it was nice to practice critical counterarguments. And again, please do not attack the commenter, they are free to disagree with me.

So after watching a YouTube video yesterday, I finally realized why I have such an issue with Derision, or more specifically the backstory it provided: it just doesn’t fit.

Let’s say that the Miraculous narrative is a set of puzzles, and we’re getting the full picture of the backstory before the series, or more specifically, the characters like Marinette and Chloé. We’ve already been established that the two girls have a history with each for at least three-four years, that Chloé has been a bully towards Marinette, and that in results worsens her anxiety. Yet it has never been shown anything more than Chloé being petty against Marinette, and eventually becoming a rival that clash because of their beliefs and personalities.

Then Derision comes along, and reveals that Chloé has actually been more an abuser who did harmful pranks, isolated her from her peers, ruined her reputation to be made out as a bad kid, and masterminded a prank that could have literally killed Marinette and caused everlasting trauma for her. Now let me be clear, what happened was terrible and Chloé is a terrible person for it. If this is the narrative they have been trying to paint, that is the truth we unfortunately accept.

But it is hard to accept it, because this goes against the narrative we’ve seen for the past years, and contradicts a lot of stuff in both backstory and character interactions, again focusing on Chloé and Marinette. If Chloé has been so terrible this whole time as shown in Derision, why is Marinette just more annoyed with Chloé and able to take her on so easily?You could say it may have been the words of encouragement from Socqueline, but Marinette should still be anxious and scared of Chloé still. Chloé has tormented Marinette for years, Marinette has no support to help back her up, and now that she doesn’t have Socqueline by her side to defend her, she’s on her own (at least that should be her thought process the whole time before meeting Alya).

Also, we have seen multiple times Marinette and Kim interacting with each other, and it’s always been at least friendly with each other. Marinette has never been shown to be uncomfortable around him, especially in Dark Cupid where they most interacted. If they had a bad history this whole time with each other, then why are they acting like nothing happened. I know people are going to say “maybe she subconsciously repressed the memories,” and that might be the case, especially with Kim. It seemed to imply she tried to forget it. But I’m not sure if that is the case in real life, so please take what I said with a grain of salt and I’m sorry if it was offensive.

However, it still doesn’t explain the very different dynamic relationship with Marinette and Chloé. Chloé has done much more things besides the prank/near-death experience she masterminded in, and that should have Marinette more apprehensive and scared of Chloé. Heck, it would make her willing to give Chloé a second chance all the more weirder because why would she ever give back the Bee Miraculous to Chloé, and always keep opening her mind to thinking “maybe she’ll change.”

In conclusion, Derision is like a puzzle piece that the writers are trying to fit into Marinette’s and Chloé’s backstory. However, it does not fit as it contradicts with the narrative they already set up. But instead of trying to move this backstory idea somewhere else like for another story, they forced it in, not caring that it’ll upset the picture they were putting together.

[honouredsnakeprincess]

Righto, Tumblr! I'm 99% sure what I just watched was s2e4 of Mr Robot! Here are my thoughts, likely a tad more sparse than last episode's, but I still took notes, so let's see what I've got.

I don't know if this has come across in my previous reviews, but it would seem I've been really underestimating Angela. She is acutely aware that Price is attempting to manipulate her, and now that she's certain of the situation, she's trying to get concessions more directly. Neither her nor Price has broken as of yet, but this is another situation that cannot persist. (I still think the affirmations are really creepy, especially now that they've gotten all abstract, dissolving false messages and being in alignment. Brr!)

That seems to be a recurring thing in this show, situations whose natures compel an eventual resolution, huh? But that could just as easily be a core element of storytelling.

Price seems like he's being pressured on multiple fronts, though. In the phone call with that woman (whose name I have not known yet [this is a damnable farce, I'm 90% sure she's whiterose because google keeps incidentally spoiling me whenever I look things up to verify my memories]), he mentions he's being pressured to resign his position, and I've no doubt that if he's not got leverage on this lady (who I shall not name until I authentically know her!), then she's got leverage on him. She's been in and out of the show for a while now, and I would definitely like to know what her deal is.

These flashbacks have been pretty interesting, too. Did we just witness the first appearance of Mr Robot, or just the first time Darlene (perhaps unknowingly) saw him? Elliot already had the jacket, after all. What became of it, anyway? Does he still have it?

I did not think the chess game could end in any way other than a stalemate, of course. You can't kill off Elliot or Mr Robot, else there wouldn't be a show to show, but there was still a sense of suspense! I don't think Elliot could have actually destroyed Mr Robot, nor vice versa, and I rather doubt either would destroy themselves, anyway. Something still came of it, though!

I'm not sure that conversation with Krista actually happened. Their last parting seemed pretty final to me. Still, Elliot acknowledging he can't really control Mr Robot or the situation seems like an important change. We'll see if this means anything going forward.

Ray continues to be an enigma to me. He has conducted himself towards Elliot in a way which reads to me as helpful, but his motives seem sinister and I wonder if that helpful demeanour is liable to drop now that he's got Elliot working for him.

I will conclude this by noting that, as Ray was listing prophets at the end, part of me really wanted to call out to my laptop screen, "Louis Riel!" I suppose he isn't quite as prestigious as those other fellows, and I don't know how well known he even is outside of Canada, but he's an important figure here!

[generallypo]

[   Constellation ’Director of the False Last Act’ is looking at you.   ]

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dark academia!hsy, yeeee! the white coat is fantastic, but unlike kdj and yjh, she doesn’t really switch up the color scheme. no, her bum-aesthetic purple hoodie does not count. i think she’s super hot. i yell about how much i love her under the cut.

------

yo han sooyoung is actually amazing, incredible, powerful, witty, drop-dead sexy... what makes her so irresistible? let me explain

1) yeah, kdj takes the kdj company to end of the scenarios, but please. how many times does he have to kill himself to get there? not to mention his intentional (and unintentional) kill count? 

sure, he does the job, but damn is he kind of inefficient about it. say what you like about hsy’s methods or personality, but the 1863rd round far surpasses the 1864th in terms of the lives preserved while still managing to take the team to the end.

without the benefit of cheat-like knowledge, skills, and resurrections, hsy almost single-handedly orchestrates the events of the 1863rd round to a satisfying finale. kmw, problematic as he is, survives and becomes an admittedly better person, yjh finds a timeline where he can rest in peace, and the rest of the cast have their eyes set on the hopeful end of all scenarios. all this, while only being HALF of a person (hsy originally split off into two after misusing her avatar ability). do her actions lead to the happiest ending? no. but it’s the one that sacrifices the least and saves the most. for the greater good, in other words. 

hsy may be an intrinsically selfish person, but unlike kdj, she has the ability to grasp the entire picture and avoid tunnel-visioning into a crappier, more convoluted and self-sacrificial solution. ironically, it ends up saving more lives. perks of being a talented writer, i guess. 

and the 1864th hsy emerges as a leader in her own right as well. the epilogue arc shows her assuming roughly the same role as her 1863rd self in kdj’s absence: yjh breaks off from the main group (AND BECOMES A TERRORIST AKFDJDSLKSL HAHAHA) to assume a similarly antagonistic role to the remaining members of kdj company. as a result, she’s the most powerful lawful incarnation remaining, and once more the incarnations circle around her for direction.

2) independent, confident, competent (hot and kinda shameless about it). this woman has the most delightfully unrepentant attitude towards life -- how to defeat the man with the strongest defensive ability without dealing a single blow? summon a horde of your naked dancing clones to terrify his innocent sensibilities, and then cackle at his helplessness. the fact that her sponsor is literally the chuuni-est cringefest in the entire galaxy and she gives no fucks about him is just additional comedic gold. her undisguised disgust for what should otherwise be a highly respected/feared entity is a clear indicator of her supremely dominant position over everyone else, and i admire her consistent irreverence of everyone and everything.

hsy is the only character who can consistently bully kdj, brush off his deflections, and bully him again. 1863rd round hsy gives kdj about 50 migraines in the span of 5 minutes of conversation before confirming her superior wit. jhw comes close, but unfortunately, she actually respects the rat bastard. i wish i could mention yjh, but let’s be real: he -- and just about every existing version of him -- has been whipped for the guy for at least 250+ chapters now. 

hsy, on the other hand, has no regard for anything except herself... man, i respect that so much. what a queen. 

and i won’t lie! i didn’t like her in the first fifty or so chapters. plagiarism? homicide? kind-of-in-general-just-being-an-obstacle-to-kdj’s-plans? yeah, i almost fell into the trap of disliking her purely because she didn’t cave immediately in the grand scheme of kdj’s plotting -- thereby denying me the power rush that came with seeing kdj bulldoze his way through the puny attempts of small fry characters. she’s neither a friend nor a despicable foe, but rather someone who acts independently and in her own self-interest, WITH the ability to thwart major players if need be. aka, the one who frustrated kdj’s plans -- and me -- the most. 

going by my previous isekai/power-fantasy trope experience, i figured she’d get pegged into the sexy-but-sassy harem candidate, or get killed off if that didn’t work out. in hindsight, i’m just pretty fucking dumb, but honestly, i can accept that with gratitude -- 

-- because in fact. the whole ‘she-gets-in-my-way-so-she-either-goes-into-the-harem-or-dies’ trope in light novels/webnovels and the like, is, frankly, misogynistic and boring as hell. i had some admittedly low expectations for ORV, which consequently blasted my ass to the moon and left me there sobbing for 42 years as i mourned my stupidity and paid my respects to its incredible ending and character development. hsy is a particular delight, especially in her meta awareness of these tropes -- blatantly stating she isn’t obligated to kdj for saving her life and declaring the damsel-in-distress cliche as ridiculous, for example. 

and it really is, because suspension bridge effect aside, you’re not gonna want to bang a total shady stranger in the middle of the apocalypse. it’s the little statements of self-awareness, self-worth, and frankness that build up hsy’s charm. as ORV progresses, these little windows of her personality bloom as her presence takes stage center -- and then BAM! you really get to know how strong she is, how hugely capable of love she is, how subtly but wonderfully she expresses it, how she leads and protects those close to her, and how damn good she is at it. hsy is amazing. we stan an iconic queen -- no, black flameS EMPRESS. *kneeling*.

3) writes an entire EPIC, just to keep one lonely, broken fifteen-year-old alive. like. at that point in ORV, i knew. i knew. hsy is the fucking GOAT. seeing her spend the rest of her life on WOS, making sure it reaches completion because it’s the only thing that will sustain kdj until the advent of the scenarios... that hits too hard. inadvertently, it also damns the rest of the world to the terror and tragedy that the star stream brings.. but that’s the call she makes in order to save kdj’s life. 

obviously, there’s no precise beginning to the timelines -- ORV is so neatly crafted in its cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader -- but i’d have to argue that hsy holds the greatest power in the trinity. creating the existence known as ‘yoo joonghyuk’ and granting life-changing hope to an otherwise forgotten boy.. is pretty powerful. yjh, for the most part, is a slave to the scenarios (until he breaks free in the 1863rd and 1864th rounds, in particular), while kdj (unwittingly) admits it himself: he’s truly the most powerless god in existence. i forget exactly where he mentions it, but it’s in response to lgy’s reverent commentary that, with all his knowledge and presumed confidence, kdj seems like the protagonist of story or a god to him. kdj’s inner monologue, of course, is appropriately self-deprecating and scarily accurate.

in a lot of ways, WOS -- and ORV itself, really -- is a love letter to readers. it’s a two-way connection, writer and reader, between someone who creates with all their passions and someone who consumes and responds with equally sincere feelings. Ways Of Survival -- the story of a man who defied death and grief and great powers far beyond his being -- is a fictional guide to surviving in a ruined world. but to a battered, bullied, and ostracized boy, it’s not just escapism, or wish fulfilment anymore. WOS is the map to navigating the hell of his reality. there’s a certain power in the right words being spoken -- or in this case, written -- at the right time, even if it’s only for the temporary burst of endorphins upon reading an especially delightful chapter. even if it’s forgotten the next day, you’ve managed to connect. you’ve touched another person’s heart. you made them think about questions they’ve never considered before; maybe, you made them smile. 

what can i say but the honest truth? ORV, without a shadow of doubt, has most certainly reached me. i’m a goner for this story and its excellent characters -- long, long gone. something has changed, something that wasn’t there the previous day. 

the mark has been made on the reader -- small as it is, it’s irrevocable. behold, in all of its little magnificence: the power of a writer, and their story.

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Ummmm parental Remile with Deceit as their kid? With Dee getting in trouble at school?

Hey guys remember when I asked for parental remile prompts? hahaha yeah that was a while ago. anyways please ignore my complete lack of punctuality and enjoy some bois

Ao3(Warnings: mentions/talk of violence, mild injuries, use of the word f*g once)

    “Do you think he stole a pencil?”

    “I doubt they would have called us in over a stolen pencil, Em.”

    “I know but- what could he have done? He’s a relatively harmless kid…”

    “Every parent thinks that about their kid.” Remy responded, though he didn’t sound too sure himself. “They probably falsely accused him of cheating or something.”

    Emile sighed and hugged himself as he entered the school, Remy letting the door fall shut behind them. “I wish they could have just told us over the phone. That secretary is very tight-lipped.”

    “You can say that again.” Remy agreed, the husbands falling silent as they followed the various signs to the principal’s office. A few students passed by them, barely sparing them a glance as they hustled to either get home or to practice.

    At the office, they were greeted by a middle-aged woman who looked like she’d rather be anywhere that wasn’t behind her desk. “Can I help you?”

    “We’re Darius’s parents.” Emile told her. “We got a call that the principal wanted to see us, some matter regarding him…?”

    The secretary frowned a little as she quickly typed something into her computer, eventually jerking a finger over her shoulder towards a door behind her. “Get in there.” She ordered, as if she were talking to disobedient students. Remy and Emile did as she said, more worried about their son than a grumpy secretary.

    The door lead to the principal’s office, Mr. Edison sitting behind his desk, rubbing his temple like he had a bad headache. Of the three chairs in front of his desk, one was occupied by Darius, who was awkwardly hunched over on himself.

    Emile went to Darius first while Remy stood behind one of the chairs, not bothering to greet Mr. Edison.

    “Hey, Dari, how are yo-” Emile cut himself off when Darius looked up at him, uncurling enough to reveal his hunched form came from him pressing a bag of ice against the left side of his face, and that both his hands were loosely covered in gauze and bandages.

    Noticing Emile’s staggered stop, Remy shifted so he could see around him to see Darius. The moment he did, he turned angrily back towards Mr. Edison. “What the Hell happened?!”

    “That’s what I called you here to discuss.” He answered, sounding tired. “If you could please take a seat, we can get started.”

    Remy continued to glare while Emile gently shuffled Darius into the middle chair, both dads taking a seat on each side of him. Once they were all settled, Mr. Edison leaned forward, planting his elbows on his desk so he could clasp his hands together and lean them forward. “Darius got into a fight.”

    “No shiz, Sherlock.” Remy snapped, Emile reaching a hand over Darius’s shoulders to pat his husband’s. The principal’s frown just deepended a little.

    “Why was he in a fight?” Emile asked, more collectedly.

    Mr. Edison shrugged. “By the time teachers arrived at the scene, both boys were injured. Darius was halfway through throwing another punch when they were broken up.”

    “There’s got to be a reason.” Emile pressed. “Darius wouldn’t just hit a kid for no reason.”

    “From what the teachers know-”

    “He called him a fag.”

    All the adults turned to look at Darius, who was still watching the floor with an expression that was both frustrated and tired.

    “What did you say?” Remy asked, softly. Darius shifted his hold on the ice pack.

    “The kid I hit.” He said. “He was calling Roman a fag for wearing a skirt.”

    Silenced stretched for a moment, Remy and Emile looking between each other and Darius while he remained looking down. Eventually, Emile spoke up.

    “Where is the other kid now?” He asked, trying to keep his voice controlled, though it was clear from his strained tone that he was struggling to do so.

    “His parents already came by and picked him up.” Mr. Edison answered, consulting one of the papers on his desk. “He’ll be suspended from school for one day, as is our policy regarding school fights. For both participating in and initiating the fight, Darius will be suspended for two days-”

    “You’re suspending Darius?” Emile said at the same time as Remy’s,

    “Darius is going to be suspended longer?”

    Mr. Edison only barely flinched at the sudden, and rather loud, questions. “It’s school policy.” He said simply. “All participants in fights are suspended for a day. The student or students who started the fight are suspended for one extra day.”

    “Yes, but this isn’t exactly an average play yard fight.” Remy said with a frown. “You heard what Darius said. He was just defending this Roman kid. If anyone should have to be suspended longer, it should be the little bi-” Remy bit on his tongue, backtracking before he finished with, “it should be the other kid.”

    “Be that as it may, rules are rules-”

    “Rules my foot.”

    “-and Darius shouldn’t have resorted to violence, especially without attempting to deescalate the situation in other ways first.” Mr. Edison explained, ignoring Remy’s interjection.

    “I’m certain that Darius didn’t resort to violence immediately.” Emile said confidently before he turned towards Darius. “Dari, did you hit the other student without any warning?”

    “Of course not.” Darius defended, voice quiet but still firm. “I told him to shut up first. And then twice, and thrice, and when he didn’t I did it for him.”

    Remy nodded his head. “See? He tried to be reasonable. And when that failed, he took care of the immediate issue. I see no reason to punish him more than the kid who caused the issue.”

    Mr. Edison shook his head. “Reasons notwithstanding, he still initiated the fight unprovoked, and policy states that-”

    “Unprovoked?” Emile repeated, interrupting the principal. “The student was using an extremely crude word to insult another one. That’s verbal abuse, Mr. Edison, and it can be extremely mentally and emotionally damaging, especially to adolescents. Stopping that flow of abuse and stopping the use of a frankly repulsive word, albeit using a means I can’t condone, shouldn’t result in a worse punishment than the one using the word receives.”

    Mr. Edison didn’t respond to that immediately, instead glancing between Emile and Remy. Finally, after a minute, he sighed. “In light of the full understanding of the situation that provoked Darius to punch the other student, I can lengthen the other’s suspension to two days.” He said placatingly. “But I still must reside by policy and suspend Darius for two days as well.”

    “Fine.” Remy said, annoyed. “It’s not fair, but at least it’s not as asinine as punishing him more.”

    “Unless you have anything more you need from us, I think we’ll be going now.” Emile said quickly, before Remy could continue.

    Mr. Edison just nodded towards the door as he moved back to looking over his papers. The three of them got up, Emile placing a hand on Darius’s shoulder to gently guide him as they left.

    None of them spoke again until they were out of the school building, heading into the parking lot. Darius cleared his throat, awkwardly wringing his fingers as well as he could given they were wrapped up in bandages.

    “Sorry I punched that kid.” He mumbled, looking at the ground as he spoke. “I know it wasn’t a good choice, I just… I had to do something.”

    “Aw, don’t sweat it.” Remy said lightly, patting Darius’s shoulder. “I would’ve done the same thing, after all.”

    “This is why your father is not a respectable role model.” Emile chided lightly, though he smiled when Remy flashed him a mischievous grin.

    “What can I say, babes, it’s clearly just in his blood!”

    “Hush, before you get yourself suspended.” Emile said teasingly before he turned his attention back to Darius. “And it’s alright, Dari. While I can’t condone violence, I think in these circumstances I can be persuaded to… overlook it. Just this once, of course.”

    “So… I’m not in trouble?” Darius asked, slowly, glancing between his parents.

    “I mean, you already have to deal with that bullsh-”

    “Dear.”

    “-bullstupid, clearly, I was just going to say bullstupid,” Remy saved easily, grinning when Emile playfully rolled his eyes, “that bullstupid suspension. Really, you’ve already been punished enough, in my opinion.”

    “I agree.” Emile added.

    “Plus, you’re going to be stuck at home alone with me, which is really just added punishment.” Remy said. He paused for a moment, as if in thought, before he went on, “Though the likelihood of me doing something stupid and amusing does increase when young, impressionable minds are around…”

    Emile shook his head. “You’re going to burn the house down.”

    “Probably.” Remy conceded as they reached the car. “But at least I’ll be teaching our son important life lessons while I’m at it!”

    “Such as?”

    “How to properly light matches, how to take the batteries out of fire alarms so firefighters don’t show up to spoil your fun, how to get out of a burning building at the absolute last minute- y’know, the cornerstones of father-son bonding activities.” Remy listed off as they got into the car, Darius slipping into the back as Emile and Remy took the driver and passenger seats, respectively.

    “Well, once we get home, I’ll be showing Darius the funnest activity of them all: how to call into work and take the next two days off because your husband simply cannot be left unattended with a child.” Emile said.

    “So I’m going to be stuck with both of you?” Darius asked, sounding disgusted by the idea even though both his dads knew he didn’t mind it at all.

    Remy turned to face Darius as Emile started the engine. “Don’t think of it like that! You’re not ‘stuck’ with us- you’re enjoying a nice two-day break from school and work with us!”

    “More accurately, you’ll be a bystander to the chaos of your father being stuck with me, the only responsible member of this household.” Emile corrected. “Though there is hope for you yet, Darius.”

    “I’m offended that there’s no hope for me.”

    “There hasn’t been hope for you in years, honey, it’s nothing personal.”

    Remy crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, clearly pouting. “If there’s no hope for me, why did you marry me?”

    Emile risked a glance over at Remy, smiling over at his childish husband. “Because you’re too cute. All it takes is one glance at you and suddenly I’ve forgotten the fact that you’re horribly irresponsible and will likely be the accidental cause behind your own death.”

    “Damn gay I will be.” Remy said confidently. “And thank you. I am very cute.”

    “The cutest.”

    “No, that title’s yours.”

    “I thought we just agreed you’re the cute one.”

    “There can be more than one cute on in a relationship-”

    “Guys, if you’re gonna be mushy the whole way home, I think I’d rather walk.” Deceit interrupted them, sticking out his tongue just a bit. “Or get in another fist fight or something.”

    Emile giggled. “Sorry about that, Dari.”

    “And speaking of fist fights- Darius, this was your first proper brawl, yeah?” Remy asked, looking back at Darius. When Darius nodded, Remy went on, “Well, I’d consider that to be a pretty important milestone in one’s teenage years! We must celebrate! How does ice cream sound?”

    “Ice cream sounds good to me.” Darius said enthusiastically.

    “That’s one yes!” Remy said. “And you, darling dearest light-of-my-life?”

    “You just want to try out their new espresso flavor.”

    “Maaaaybe.” Remy admitted. “But have you considered this?” He leaned over the console, planting a kiss on Emile’s cheek. Emile’s face immediately flushed.

    “That is cheating and you know it.”

    “Maaaaybe.” Remy repeated, still in Emile’s space, now simply resting his head on Emile’s shoulder. “Is it working?”

    Emile didn’t respond for a moment, trying to keep his attention on the road even as his eyes kept flicking back to his husband against his side. Finally, he sighed and gave in, saying, “Alright, we’ll go get ice cream. But only if you stop being more distracting than usual!”

    “Whatever you say, doll.” Remy responded, quickly scooting fully back into his seat. “As long as it gets me that sweet, sweet frozen coffee, I’ll do it!”

    “This is going to end horribly, isn’t it?” Darius asked, once more gaining Remy’s attention.

    “Probably.” Remy admitted. “But, hey! You’re getting ice cream after beating a kid up! I’d say you’re pretty lucky, so it probably won’t end horribly for you! Just me and your dad, who insists on sticking by my side through everything for some reason.”

    “I’m obligated to by love.”

    “What’s love got going for it?”

    “Our marriage, for one thing.”

    “Impossible. Our marriage transcends mortal conventions.”

    Darius leaned back in his seat and turned his attention to the window, watching the scenery rush by as his dads fell into a loop of compliments poorly disguised as some sort of discussion. He really wasn’t sure what he was expecting to happen after he threw that first punch… but as it stands?

    He doesn’t regret it one bit.

[writing-the-end]

LoL Chapter 26- Next Right Move

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

Where do the hermits go from here? All this knowledge, it bears so much weight. With their enemy being the leader of Lairyon himself, how can they possibly do anything now? Why should they?

_________________________________________________

The hermits wasted no time returning to Eremita. Running as far from Milliara as possible, into the safety of the Ashioll sea. Protected by the mysterious magic surrounding their home, the hermits are able to recuperate from the honor and horror they’ve witnessed. Exhausted from the Chimaera’s Championship, but terrified from what monstrosity Dolios put them through. The phoenix shaped chalice, the grand prize of gold and honor from the games sits discarded at the guild hall. Every night, a few hermits can be found huddled near a fireplace or drinking in someone’s house. 

The hermits left Eremita determined to find out who the dark mage was. They knew it was a Councilmember. They never expected it to be the magistrate himself. They never expected to win the Chimaera’s Championship, or stumble in on a plot much larger, much darker than they thought. And now here they are, narrowly escaped the dark mage’s wrath, with no clue what to do. 

This is bigger than the hermits. This is bigger than Gildara, or Danes, or anything they’ve ever faced before. This is beyond a scope they can even understand. Why is Dolios doing this? How far has his corruption spread? Who can stop Dolios, the Magistrate and leader of Lairyon? If the king is silent, and the Council is a part of his cabal, then no one is able to stop him. 

The hermits take the news in different ways- though no one celebrates their victory. Not after nearly dying in Dolios’s dungeons they only believed were rumors. The training field is empty, except for False. Anger burns through her pain, her kukri digging into the slime dummies she had Jevin make until the bodies rip in half. She decapitates one with a swift swing and turns around, ducking and rolling, before throwing molten blades into the chests of three more. The slime sizzles and burns, as hot as her anguish. 

At the sidelines, Wels watches as he buffs out the dents on his armor. He scrubs the metal till he can see his reflection in it, and then a little more. Trying to rub out the memories of the chess game, the dark magic that had trapped them in the sick game. 

Zedaph, Impulse, and Tango are together as always. But rather than trying to find trouble, all three sit on a haybale, just watching the animals of Zed’s farm. Tango twirls a stick full of leaves, much to the annoyance of the goat at his feet, eyes distant. Zedaph has been having a sleepover in their part of False’s forge, not wanting to leave his friend’s side. Not after knowing who killed their last guild. He doesn’t want to lose them as well. Impulse has no energy to be his bubbly, happy self. He feels like a cannon with a wet fuse, unable to light up and explode outward. Instead, he just mindlessly runs his fingers through the woolen fur of the sheep chewing on his clothes. 

Grian and Mumbo sit on the open windows of the angel’s house. Just watching the sun rise into an afternoon sun across the sea. They say nothing, a rare silence from Grian and even Mumbo. The two friends have nothing to say. They won the championship, but Grian still feels the horror of watching Mumbo forced to move like a chess piece. A pawn, set forward and open to attack. He knew he should have trusted TFC, but in the moment all he could think of was losing his best friend. 

Exiting his cave, TFC feels the oppressive mood in the air. He feels like he’s underground in Gildara again. That sense of hopelessness, that dampening weight on his shoulders. The guildmaster looks around, looks at his team, his island. A storm rolls in the distance, likely to come by evening and bless the island with life giving rain. But the hermits are like wilting flowers. Crumpled, lacking the color and life they normally carry with pride. Even the rainbow flags of the guild hall look muted. 

TFC hates this feeling, this suspension. Waiting for something to break, something to happen. If it won’t happen, he’ll make it happen. TFC picks up a stone from the mouth of his cave home, feeling the weight of the stone as he wanders to Xisuma’s tower. It’s a good piece of granite, a nice heavy weight without being too strong or sharp. It’s perfect for his plan. He rests the stone in his dominant hand, looking up at Xisuma’s tower, the gleaming telescope at the peak of the building. 

And he throws the stone. It clatters against Xisuma’s windowsill, rattling the metal frame but not breaking the glass. The stone falls, and he does it again. And again. Halfway through reeling back for a third throw, the window finally opens. X ducks just in time to miss getting a rock to the head. “What in the name of the gods are you doing?”

“Group meeting. Round up the others.” TFC crosses his arms, looking up at the wizard in the tower. 

“What? Why?” Xisuma sighs, but pulls on his mask all the same. It’s too bright for him right now. 

“If no one else is going to change the world, then we will.” TFC growls, then walks away. He motions for team ZIT to follow, and even dares to get between False and her training to call her to the guild hall. The open air space, enclosed only by clawlike stones and a ring of younger oak trees beneath the massive, entangling branches of the centerpiece, quickly fills with hermits. Sitting at the tables, Cleo tries to ease some of the tension with her good mead. But even Cleo’s best brews taste like swill right now. 

The last to arrive was Grian. Iskall was practically dragging him by the cloak into the guild hall, across the wooden grains of the floor, across the twining knot of birch and dark oak. Once the architechs were seated, Iskall and Grian with their own mugs of mead, TFC looks at the guild before him. 

He sighs, shaking his head. “I know what we faced was grim. I couldn’t imagine what it felt like to be you guys, forced to be pawns in Dolios’s sick game.” TFC notices False’s hands ball into fists at the mention of his name. “Especially to be moved by me, I wish I could’ve thought of a better way to stop him. 

“But we went to Milliara to discover who the dark mage was. We did that, and more. Dolios thought he could scare us, silence us. Make us turn on each other, make us choose who was more important and who wasn’t. But we’re not just a guild- we’re a family. It was terrible, but we got through it only because we worked as a team.” 

Silence meets TFC’s words. None of the hermits answer him. Normally, he struggles to get his guild to stay quiet for more than a minute. He feels he would have better luck teaching toddlers than talking to this lot. And it makes TFC’s stomach burn like magma to be able to hear rustling leaves, the distant bleat of a sheep. 

“And he’s winning.” He growls, looking at them all. “Look at us! Silent, still! Wallowing in what’s happened while Dolios is continuing to steal magic for his own nefarious desires! He’s winning, because we are doing nothing!” 

“What can we do?” Jevin sneers, leaning back. “We’re nobodies. An outlaw guild of misfits. We don’t have the power like the king, the prestige like a legal guild.” 

“That’s exactly why we can do it! We have our freedom, our strength in being beyond all that. If no one else will stop Dolios, if no one else can stop Diolios, then we should. Look at us,” TFC waves around as hermits pick up their heads. “We’re victors of the Chimaera’s Championship. We have more power and strength in this one hall than most guilds have in their entire history. We have a variety of magic and the creative minds to wield powers. To weave unlike magics into something greater.” 

“Why us, though?” Even Xisuma is sitting up, though his voice still has a twinge of doubt and exasperation. 

“If we don’t, who will?” The guildmaster looks around, seeing a spark return to the crowd. Thank Artyne, they’re finally talking over him again. “We know who the dark mage is, we know how to break a crystal, we’re not afraid of breaking a few rules! We may not be the heroes Lairyon needs, but we’re the only ones who can do it.” 

The surge of pride and power shocks across the hermits. A coy grin parts Doc’s hybrid face, sharp teeth revealed and glinting in the hot summer sunlight. Ren’s tail is wagging so fast it’s smacking Stress and Joe with each hemisphere completed. And TFC knows he’s gotten them hooked when he sees angelic feathers plume out from a gremlin smirk on Grian’s face. 

TFC pulls out a map from the nook in a tree, brushing an acorn aside that was stashed along with it. Using now empty mugs from Iskall and Grian, he unfurls the map and gazes at the crescent shaped continent that is Lairyon. He pulls out a piece of charcoal, and sketches four marks on the map. One where Gildara was, a diamond shape that is matched with one in Milliara. But the one in Milliara is crossed out. Danes and their home island get swirls, neither crossed out. “We know of four events that for certain included dark magic. In Milliara, we were successful in breaking the crystal.” He taps on the x-marked diamond. “Unfortunately, we can’t be certain if those husk storms will reappear in Danes or here.” 

“We should gather information. Listen in to town gossip, meet with contacts, just try and find any stories that match what we saw.” Cleo hums, running her dead fingers along the map. “Go all across Lairyon, destroy any crystals and do our best to weaken Dolios.” 

“And try to find a way to stop his reign once and for all.” Doc adds, his voice growling. 

“We need every hermit in on this job.” TFC looks at the map, eyes alighting on Crystalla. Wels came back- it’s time for the other hermits to come home. “Joe, send a message to xB, Hypno, and Beef. Tell them that the Order of Hermits are fighting to take back Lairyon.”

[allywrites360]

Red Shoes - Analysis/Review

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world… whether my eyes are open… or closed.” - Merlin

““But I’m still that Merlin inside.” - The one who grew. The one who changed, and learned to love himself and others for more than what’s on the outside. I know Snow is the main example of self love in this film, but Merlin provides a great example of this; something we don’t often see in male characters.”

--

So this film just released in North America, and I thought I’d share some thoughts and overall themes/metaphors from this film. But first, I’d just like to encourage you (if you haven't already) to go and support this film. It pretty inexpensive, and was made by an independent animation studio, which I think is absolutely amazing. Now onto the analysis!!

Love the concept of everyone being an adaptation of a fairytale character; adds to the society being shallow and appearance focus as a whole, as fairytales were traditionally focused on dichotomy and physical beauty.

The lighting, and really animation as a whole, is phenomenal for a film made by an independent studio. The shading and colour grading is a real standout, though. And the landscapes!! They feel really three dimensional, and gorgeous.

[ID - A shot of a sunrise, beautifully lit behind a belltower - End ID].

Scoring/motif for the main villain is amazing.

Introduction to the protagonist is really not setup well. Did she actually get sent away from the palace? How long was she gone? How desperate is she to save her father? All of these questions are left unanswered, and no prominent character traits are shown through her first scene. She could be clever? All she did was change her hiding spot, so even that’s a stretch.

I hate the king’s narration. The dialogue is choppy, and repetitive in a completely irrelevant way.

The lore around the tree is really unclear. Why haven’t the shoes worked for Regina? Why do they work for Snow? Will they not regrow?

Love the transition scene to the dwarfs; makes it feel as though they’re just been walking listlessly since the spell was cast. Which, y’know, more or less true.

[ID - A shot of the seven dwarfs walking together through the centre of a forest in midday, looking slightly dejected - End ID].

Love the fact the mirror points out that ‘wisdom’ and ‘kingdom’ don’t rhyme; I paused to point that out.

I will say that the action scenes are really well directed/choreographed. The camera flows really nicely, and always follows our protagonists (ooh, tying into the dichotomous nature of fairytales overall?), which makes the stakes and emotions feel higher/more personal.

The villain’s voice acting and dialogue is really sharp and entertaining. She feels like a real threat (and also uncannily similar to Gothel but).

Love the wooden front on their house disguised as a castle. Really nicely done metaphor for them clinging on to a cheap version of their pasts; refusing to move on, which is torn down when she arrives. Also ties in to the “what’s on the inside outweighs what’s one the outside” moral.

[ID - The seven dwarfs’ house, which is a cave, with a wooden cutout shaped and painted like a castle sitting in front of it to give the illusion of a grander living space - End ID].

Can I also say I love that her first reaction isn’t insanely positive to her new appearance? In general, she just notes there’s been a change, which is a really nice subversion of the ‘overweight people have to be unhappy at the outset’ trope.

Her facial expressions are also really animated, which is something I’ve always loved (see Ariel, Anastasia, etc.), especially her eyes. Really well designed. Actually, all the expressions suit the characters’ personalities really well. Great job, animation department!

The fact that all seven dwarfs are names after popular mythical characters is really inventive (much more so than simply naming them after a character trait), as well as having their diverse fighting style be built from that, which I loved. Could even be allusions, but I don’t know enough about the original stories to say.

Hate the electric guitar of Prince Average. Highlights how much he doesn’t belong in this movie. His name is horribly uncreative, and his pop culture references break the forth wall, and aren’t funny, as they aren’t used properly. With him as the involved antagonist for most of the film, I can’t take the threat seriously. Other comic villains have been done so much better, such as Prince Charming from Shrek. The only valid line he has is about ‘dwarfs’ vs. ���dwarves’; I never know which to use. “Finally, the big guns, thank you!” One more fourth wall break from this man I swear.

Love the added detail of the shoes not being able to be removed once you place value on the beauty they give. It’s hard to let go of that temptation; and if you don’t, you won’t be seen as your true self. It also highlights how she loves herself at the outbreak of the movie, and is therefore able to remove them freely. Also gets rid of the the deus ex machina of her shoes coming off freely in the water.

Wish we could’ve seen her doubt grow as she realizes they wouldn’t have helped her in her original form. Feels like we were a bit disconnected from her emotions. Which might not be a bad thing… if we assume Merlin in the protagonist.

Nice foreshadowing to her father being the bunny; if you know to look for it.

References such as ‘#blessed’, or ‘Pablo Picasso’, don’t work in the slightest. They serve no purpose, and aren’t funny simply because most would recognize them.

Normally I would make a note about Merlin and Snow having really standard, basic designs, but one, this animation studio is small, and on limited resources, and two, it, again, relates back to the shallow, uninteresting societal expectation of beauty that refuses to be unique.

Ahh, nice that apples are what trip the guards up in the chase scene through the market. Symbolic.

Love that she’s willing to defend the dwarfs even when she realizes they won’t help her in her original form. Again, wish we could’ve seen her emotions pertaining to that a bit more, although the reflection shot in the mirror (reflected from the shot at the start of the scene) was nice. Speaking of that, the broken, fragment reflection of her ‘fake’ self, is beautiful, because it isn’t a representation of herself, however at the end of the scene, we see the reflection in the same manner, but with her original self, but due to newly inflicted self doubt, we get a split second of that reality being fragmented too.

[ID - Snow White frowning as she looks into a shattered mirror leaning against the wall of an alleyway in her society-dictated “beautiful” - End ID].

[ID - Snow White looking into the same mirror, frowning, and having removed the shoes, restoring her to her original appearance - End ID].

The three bears (I’m assuming an allusion to the Goldilocks mythos) don’t really serve any plot relevance… however they are cute, so make of their inclusion what you will.

Again, the scene where she exits the dwarfs’ home; it would’ve been great to see a shot of her internal conflict before she submits herself to giving up her freedom for Merlin and Arthur’s. Relating to that, I have noticed that the hostage situations have shockingly low stakes in this film. For instance, at the end, Merlin is simply held in a branch, and a second later, Snow is willing to give up her life to set him free.

The movie didn’t end up using this (which was a nice subversion of expectations), but if Merlin had used all his spells in the final battle, and needed just one more shot, it wouldn’t have been a deus ex machina, because we establish previously he has the one Snow gave him for luck. I assumed it’d comeback again, but turns out they just used it as a symbol (for having the flower, a symbol of outside beauty, float out of his hand), for him letting go of his shallow mindset.

[ID - Snow White (wearing the shoes which change her appearance) smiles at Merlin, in his dwarf form. In his hand there’s a paper flower she folded from one of his spells - End ID].

Really love the joke about the mirror being hurt by smoke. Get it? Smoke and mirrors? Now that reference is funny; and also ties into the theme of false fronts/illusions. But not gonna lie, all that was an afterthought. It genuinely made me laugh.

Love that they rebuild the house too. It’s not beautiful, at least in a traditional sense. It’s cracked, uneven, but personal to them; they did it as a family. I’ll give the writers credit for so fully entrenching the theme into every frame and action. Nothing is meaningless in this film. Well, at least surrounding the protagonists.

Ooh, ooh, I could forgive the use of pop as their love motif if at the end, when there are no facades, it’s replaced by original scoring. I don’t remember that scene in all that much detail though.

The tree thing is… strange, I’ll admit, but considering Regina puts all her stock in the beauty which comes from the magic tree, it makes sense it’d be rooted into her magic in some way. The apple details are cool (notches shaped like seeds on the trunks), if nothing else, considering the scene with the three attacking is not investing the slightest, beyond some inventive attacks from Merlin (the action and attacks surrounding him aren’t executed all that poorly).

The directing in general is phenomenal in this movie; which is something I’ve been trying to put a bit more attention on lately.

Love small details like Merlin holding his back after the fight, circling back once again to the fact these characters are more similar than they realize (if you remember, that’s what she used as a cover when she first woke up).

[ID - A shot of Merlin running, pressing a hand against his back as he does so - End ID].

Okay, I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things in this movie, but when Snow dives into the lake, that surface tension would’ve seriously hurt her. If even some waves would’ve been added, it would’ve not only added suspense to the scene, but made it a bit more grounded as well.

“Who do you like more, Snow White or Red Shoes?” “Easy, it’s Red Shoes.” “Who does Red Shoes love more?” “Easy, it’s me. Wait… no. It’s you.” That line is by far my favourite from the film. I love that it shows his guilt. She’s chosen to love him despite his appearance, but he won’t do the same for her. And now he has to look in the mirror at that ugly part of his personality.

[ID - At night, Merlin in his dwarf form stands beside Merlin in his human form. The dwarf version of him looks irritated as he looks up - End ID].

(Assuming Merlin named the rabbit, and if I’m being honest I didn’t pay attention to that) It’s sorta fitting to his character that he named it ‘Long Ears’ - a notably physical attribute.

While I do like that, just because the climax called for it, the sword didn’t suddenly lift from the stone, I really dislike that it was broken out by sheer force; which goes goes against the entire magic system/point of the sword and who gets to hold it.

Kronk as the magic mirror is hilarious. I want to credit the screenwriters for his lines… but I have a strong feeling it was mostly improv. Well done whoever is to credit for that.

Now this action scene, with Merlin being attacked by the tree roots, is insanely well done. For maybe the first time in this movie, I feel the suspense I’m intended to, and the setup and just character movement in general is really inventive. You feel his emotions and breath in this scene, which takes serious talent.

“How could she possibly want to save you more than she wants to be beautiful? Did you cast a spell?” - On a related note, I’m proud of this movie for not falling into the traditional ‘misunderstanding breaks up characters before the final battle’ (they technically do split up, but it’s the fault of Merlin’s unresolved selfish intentions rather than a petty matter) through Snow seeing the love spell, and assuming the worst even though Merlin never uses it.

The vines could be a metaphor as well; in this battle, they’re the shallow desires holding him back, while he, with the assistance of others, has to break his own way out (as shown by him using his lighting to crack a small hole in the doors (or exit) of the room.

[ID - Merlin is running towards the “camera”, however, he looks surprised as a vine grabs his waist, and attempts to drag him back into the castle - End ID].

“I’m sorry, Snow White.” That’s the first time he uses her name; and he does it mentally; in a voiceover. It isn’t to impress her, or win a competition. It’s how he truly sees her now. Also, so beautiful how his motives go from being self centred, to focused on her; he changed because of her influence. It’s been done before, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful here.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world… whether my eyes are open… or closed.” That wasn’t his final line (he survives), but if it was… that would’ve been so powerful. Still is, just in a different way.

“I kinda liked the short and green Merlin.” “But I’m still that Merlin inside.” - The one who grew. The one who changed, and learned to love himself and others for more than what’s on the outside. I know Snow is the main example of self love in this film, but Merlin provides a great example of this; something we don’t often see in male characters.

And I loved that it was a hug immediately after his spell is broken. He isn’t trying to gain anything, he’s just happy to be with her, which is super romantic. 

[ID - Both now restored to their original forms, Merlin and Snow White sit on the ground just outside the palace hugging each other, both smiling with their eyes shut. The king, and a few of the dwarfs stand in the background - End ID].

Onto a few of my favourite lines;

“I was worried about you!” “I was worried about me too. But- but mostly you!”

“If you could see the real me…” “I think I can see the real you… eyes open or closed, I still see Merlin.” What a great line. What a great theme. You don’t need to know the facts about someone, or see their original appearance, to know who they are. And I think that’s beautiful.

“Someone you’l be proud to be seen with.” “I think you’re right.”

“I thought that we were both under the same spell… but I was wrong.”

“He likes you more than he likes me,” as she looks down at the shoes.

“Who do you like more, Snow White or Red Shoes?” “Easy, it’s Red Shoes.” “Who does Red Shoes love more?” “Easy, it’s me. Wait… no. It’s you.”

“How could she possibly want to save you more than she wants to be beautiful? Did you cast a spell?”

“I’ve never been so glad to be chubby and green again.” - Because it means he’s not alone.

“I’m sorry, Snow White.” 

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world… whether my eyes are open… or closed.”

“I kinda liked the short and green Merlin.” “But I’m still that Merlin inside.” 

I’ll just say, as an ending thought, that the 2D animation of their wedding is adorable.

Overall, I’d give it 8/10. Nothing phenomenal that was entirely groundbreaking, but there’s a lot of heart to be shown here, with some truly amazing characters, even if some of their universe isn’t all that intriguing. Would highly recommend.

[legobiwan]

Whumptober #7 (isolation)

TW: none

Fandom: Star Wars (Padmé Amidala, Count Dooku. Yes, you read that right.)

Notes: So, this happened. Probably some suspension of disbelief is necessary for this whole conceit, but it’s more of a character study than anything else. Also, damn do I love writing Dooku he’s such a creepy shit I love him. Alright guys, LET’S. GET. WEIRD.

—–

“The galaxy is an open wound, my friends, and the Republic is the infection which must be lanced if we are to secure a future for your homeworlds. Make no mistake, the bureaucrats in the Galactic Senate care not for your governments, for your banks and farmlands, for your schools and businesses - except in how they may extract what they need, as a parasite feeds on its host. Alone, in isolation, you will suffer, will bleed out, and when the Republic has taken their fill, they will discard the empty, pale carcass of your beloved cities with barely a thought.

Together, we will rise, will fight the corruption of a self-indulgent galactic government which cares only for its own appetites. Together, we are the Independent Movement for Self-Determination, the Confederacy of Independent Systems. Together, we will throw off the shackles too-long endured by our masters on Coruscant, and secure a prosperous future for generations to come.

Thank you.”

The auditorium erupted in applause, students, professors, and government leaders rising from their apple-plush seats, a wave of sentients cresting like the tides on Varikyno.

Padmé slipped out the back door, soft hood of her violet cloak pulled low. The Count would have felt her presence already, would have known with a single tilt of his head the invitation had been accepted, along with the rules of engagement. Still, it would not do for a high-ranking, high-profile member of the Galactic Senate to be seen attending a political rally of an enemy of the state. (The enemy of the state, she reminded herself.)

The restaurant was a few blocks to the east, tucked away on the top floor of a small shopping complex boasting a holobook emporium and a few fashionable clothing outlets.

A perfectly understated setting.

Padmé paused, taking in her reflection in the glass storefront, her cloak draped across her shoulders, falling long to the ground, fabric bundled in little hills and valleys in the fashion of the local populace. Her eyes were hooded, fuchsia irises settled beneath furled, copper eyebrows.

She barely recognized herself.

Anakin would be furious if he knew what she was doing.

Anakin was furious a lot, these days.

Right now, however, her husband was deployed on the other side of the galaxy, leading a campaign against General Grievous and his endless armies of battledroids. There was no need to worry him with her extracurricular activities, not when his life was already on the line every day, when blaster fire singed his long, brown hair and lightsaber welts branded his tanned, strong arms.

No, Anakin didn’t need to know. Not about this.

Her chrono chimed. 19:20. Just enough time to make a cursory sweep of the restaurant. Padmé reached into the satchel hanging off her shoulder, her hand drifting past holobooks and data readers - all innocuous items, typical for a graduate student out on a night on the town.

She slid a hand under Alone Among Many, feeling for the second, hidden pouch, her fingers closing around the handle of a mini-blaster and a signal disrupter.

Right, then.

Padmé took a steadying breath, laying her other hand on her upper abdomen. It twinged in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable sensation.

A silver-haired head glided past in reflection of the window. Padmé counted, one second, five seconds, ten, finally turning away from her own strange image, following Count Dooku up the dimly-lit stairs.

———

“An interesting choice of disguise, Senator. You seem to have quite the flair for clandestine work.” Dooku sips at his wine, blood-red, glistening in the wide-mouthed crystal glass.

“A Senator’s work is rarely confined to an office suite,” Padmé counters, raising her own glass to her lips, suddenly very aware of the bright, copper hair falling from her hood.

Dooku chuckles. “Ah, if only more of your colleagues felt the same way, my dear. In fact, I imagine you might be alone in your singular dedication to your work and your people.”

“There are plenty of other Senators who devote their lives to - “

“And I daresay,” Dooku interrupts with a hint of irritation, “you are in close contact with those few sentients who possess the ability to see past their own gluttonous ambitions.”

A question hidden in an offhand comment. Pure diplomacy, pure politics. Padmé excelled at this aspect of her job - reading subtext and hidden meanings in a curved word or the inflection of a comma.

She allows the silence to stretch, taking a lingering sip of her wine as she glances around the dark room.

Dark wood-paneling complements the deep green of the wall coverings, the edges glimmering with the tasteful application of bronzed borders. It’s an understated kind of affluence, the kind which comes as naturally as breathing to those brought up in a certain station.

Anakin never was able to dull his rough edges, as uncomfortable as a purrgil in the desert at any function requiring more than two pieces of silverware. Obi-wan, ever the diplomat, had nearly everyone fooled, all soft charm and etiquette. But even he wasn’t raised in this culture, this world of unspoken rules where customs are less taught than absorbed.

In this, she shares common ground with the man across from her.

“I doubt you extended this invitation to hear idle gossip from the Senate. What do you want?” A tactless approach, but Padmé is already growing impatient. She is alone, on a foreign planet, ruled by an enemy government, sitting across from a man who would just as soon see her and everyone she loved dead.

“You are mistaken, dear girl, but I will allow the false assumption to continue for the time being.” Dooku neatly folds his hands on the table, leveling his gaze at Padmé.

“I want to negotiate.”

Padmé meets his eyes with equal intensity, the gears in her mind spinning.

“What makes you think I would barter the future of the Republic with a terrorist?”

“Because you have done so before.”

It’s said without ire or malice, but Padmé feels the words as blow to the stomach. They both know to what Dooku is referring, the debacle on Mon Calamari, only a few short months ago - how she allowed General Grievous to go free in exchange for a single Jedi.

Her Jedi.

Padmé swallows, her throat dry. “Perhaps I’ve reconsidered my position.”

“Doubtful, seeing that you are here, on Reena, sipping wine with the most wanted man in the Republic.” Dooku spreads his arms with an easy, false smile.

She doesn’t respond. She doesn’t need to, the evidence of her presence in the restaurant is damning enough on its own.

“You prefer diplomacy. As do I, Senator.” Dooku continues, waving his hand in a conciliatory gesture. “And in the spirit of said diplomacy, let us return to the seemingly unimportant matter of the idle, chattering gossip in the Senate. As you stated, you are devoted to your job, to your people, to the foundations on which the Republic was built.”

Padmé nods, careful. So far nothing Dooku has said is wholly disagreeable, even if the man himself is.

“And you have made certain connections with those who share similar viewpoints, no? A wise move, if I may say so myself. To rock the proverbial boat takes a singular strength of will, but to move oceans around said boat requires the strength of many. As you have witnessed over the past few years.”

The war, the secession. From Dooku’s point of view, it makes sense, but Padmé cannot condone the pointless bloodshed, the death and suffering brought about by the desire for change.

Dooku leans forward, voice lowering, conspiratorial. It takes all of Padmé’s considerable control to not recoil.

“You don’t trust the Chancellor.”

Her leg jerks, knee hitting the table with a muffled thud. The movement disrupts the wine glasses, red liquid sloshing back and forth, little bubbles coalescing on edges. Padmé smooths her expression in a second, hoping Dooku can’t hear the pounding of her heart in her throat. She hopes he mistakes her reaction for anger.

“I will not sit here and be accused of treason - “

“And you are right to, Miss Amidala.”

Dooku speaks just loud enough, with just enough will to silence Padmé. She wonders if he is using a small compulsion on her, as she is never one to back down from an argument. The thought sickens her, leaves her nauseated. It’s a rank violation, to be forced into silence by another man.  

“The Senate is corrupt,” Dooku continues as if nothing has happened, although his words gain urgency. “But no one more so than Chancellor Palpatine.” The Count pauses, his eyes darting to the side, a rare concession to discomfort, to perhaps even fear of retaliation.

“An understanding between two groups, whose primary aim would be to end the war with as little bloodshed as possible, might be a proposition worth considering. Especially if they were to be on opposing sides of this conflict.”

Padmé’s mouth dries. How could he have learned any of this? Yes, she and few other Senators harbored worsening doubts regarding Palpatine’s mounting powers, his extension of the war, his seeming reluctance to engage in even the most rudimentary diplomacy.

But they had only met a handful of times and - if there was a mole in their group, an double agent…

She straightens, chastising herself for falling prey to Dooku’s manipulations. “You are mistaken, Count. The Senate trusts the Chancellor.” After a beat she adds, “As do the Jedi.”

“The Jedi are fools,” Dooku hisses, hand tightening around the stem of his wine glass. Padmé swallows a smug grin.

I can play this game, too, Count.

“Unless you have anything else to add, I believe our negotiations have come to an end.” First lesson in negotiation - make the other side reveal themselves first. To be honest, she’s not so interested in Dooku’s response. The game has played long enough, and the urge to leap from the table is real. She needs to get out of here, needs to get on a transport, get back to Coruscant. Needs to contact Anakin, hear his voice, needs to not be alone.

Dooku says nothing, taking his hand to his chin. 

Padmé stands in an abrupt movement, throwing her satchel over her shoulder. She halfway considers reaching into the bag and pulling out her blaster. Dooku’s death wouldn’t end the war, not even she is so naive, but it would certainly slow the seemingly inexorable march of the Republic towards destruction.

She abandons the idea almost as quickly. Dooku was, at one point, a Jedi, and he can still call on the Force, even in its corrupted and dark form.

She would be dead before her hand even touched her weapon.

Padmé turns to leave when she hears the words.

“You’re alone, you know.”

Her lips purse, teeth grinding against each other. She should leave. Not all negotiations are successful, and rule two is to know when to walk way from the table, in this case quite literally. 

She can’t let it go, however.

“I have the Republic. I have friends in the Senate. Family whom I love.”

If the words are shaky, if they are shadowed by doubt, it’s meaningless, only the stress of an invitation she should have never accepted.

“I can feel it, Senator. The blank void, the ragged edges where it was ripped away. Something used to be there, and now there’s not. And that nothing is growing, a virus inside you.”

Padmé’s hands shake.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Something rustles. Suddenly there is a presence at her back, an insidious warmth and she realizes Dooku is a mere breath from her, soft words hot on her ear.

“I know isolation, Senator Amidala. I was raised on the teat of it.” She feels every sharp consonant in her bones. “You reek of it, that terrible elixir of misplaced affection and desperation.”

Dooku’s words root Padmé in place, her feet bound by ice, her mind by fire. It’s not true, it’s never been true and yet the accusation pulls at a loose thread in her chest, the one that unraveled every time Anakin demanded she turn down a social engagement, or spoke of her in a way which crashed past the boundaries of romances into possession.

Dooku steps closer, somehow still not touching her, a gesture for which she is both grateful and disturbed. If the Count’s motivations had been more base, more carnal, his accusations would carry little weight, but she knows he leers only to add gravity to his words.

“*He* is the cause of your isolation, Senator Amidala. I can feel it in you,” Dooku whispers, barely audible, his lips hovering a molecule removed from her skin, silver beard a whisker from her uncovered head, so still Padmé almost believes he has stopped time itself.

Her knees buckle when he steps back.

“Do consider my proposition, Senator,” he all business again, as if the last few minutes had never happened. “It would be a mutually beneficial arrangement, in more ways than you can fathom.”

Padmé readjusts the satchel on her shoulder and rushes from the restaurant, not looking back, nearly knocking over a server droid in her panicked haste. She does not tarry on Reena, piloting her starship with reckless speed back to Coruscant, as if a pack of Lothwolves were chasing her across the stars.

It was nothing. Manipulation, and she curses herself for almost falling prey to it. She’ll be back on Coruscant tomorrow, she’ll get back to work, she’ll meet with Mon, have dinner with Leeth, organize her next speech, perhaps do a bit a charity work...

She will not be alone. Not anymore.

legobiwan does whumptober

[blackcoffeeandteardrops]

Lullaby

So I avoided it for a while, but it is now two weeks post-MS4, and I have written baby!fic. Their surprise second baby is a girl and everyone knows it, including William, by the way. ANYWAY, you can find it below the cut. Also at AO3.

In retrospect, Scully knew she should have seen this coming. Despite a rocky start, her pregnancy had been relatively normal. The morning sickness lasted longer than she would have liked, and she was out on light duty earlier than she might have wished, but thanks in large part to Kersh’s placing she and Mulder on suspension that hadn’t exactly been a problem. After talking everything through, their plan had been to give up their lives as agents altogether, choosing instead to go other routes. She was brushing up on recertification courses although she wouldn’t need them for a while, and Mulder had accepted a few requests for guest lecturing rather than dodging them like he used to.

He hadn’t wanted to accept this request with her due date around the corner, but she’d insisted there were a few weeks left and that she knew how to get ahold of him should anything happen. It helped that the school was little more than ninety minutes away, and he could get there fast if the need arose.

The whole pregnancy had been fine. Scully had found an OB they’d not just checked but double and triple checked, using sources outside of the FBI to verify she stood up to the standards they required. Given her history, Mulder knew she was right to be cautious. True to his word, he’d been there every step of the way. She’d caught him up before the sun painting the room they’d selected as the nursery, and had it not already been clear, she’d realize then and there he was just as dedicated to the new child growing inside of her as she was, pouring whatever energy he had into it, perhaps in an attempt to make up for having missed so much of this the last go around.

They’d held onto each other while walking through Ikea and picking items out that months ago might have been a sore subject, a sad reminder of what was once lost. Once, she thought, because despite everything life had thrown their way, William--or Will as he asked them to call him, because Jackson wasn’t who he was anymore and William seemed too formal--had slowly but surely carved out a place for himself back in their lives. He started coming around to the house for a few hours at a time, always needing to borrow something or ask for something to eat, but staying under their roof for one night turned into two and then a week, and while he still took off for a day or two without saying anything, he more than made up for it whenever he came home.

Home, Scully thought, dropping a plate she’d been cleaning into the sink of soapy water. She gripped the counter, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. The pain low in her abdomen had started early that morning, subsiding just as soon as it started. With Mulder out of town, she didn’t want to call him back and risk worrying him for nothing, so she’d spent the morning lounging on the couch, propping her feet up as she dozed off to the sounds of daytime TV. It happened only once again after that, a subtle reminder that the little one inside her was preparing to make their entrance, but it wasn’t enough to trouble her.

“Whoa,” William’s voice called from beside her. “I came down to get something to drink, but you--”

Had she not been in pain, Scully might have laughed at the way his hands fluttered from her shoulders to the small of her back, recognizing that she needed help but unsure of how to provide it. “I’ll be fine, it’s probably just a false alarm.”

William stood next to her, taking in the way she squeezed her eyes shut, gripping the edge of the sink so tight her knuckles turned white. He’d been with them for a few months now, so it wasn’t like he was entirely a stranger, but he didn’t know how much of a say he got in all this. They’d carefully tiptoed around references to his own connection to the baby, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable, until the week before when she must’ve shifted downward and Scully said something along the lines of “you’re sister’s giving my bladder a harder time than you did.”

“Really, Will, it’s okay,” Scully insisted, though she reached out for his arm before he could back away. “Can you help me back to the couch? I’ll leave you alone after that.”

“You’re not bothering me, you know,” William replied, waiting until her grip on his arm was secure before starting to move back towards the living room. “You guys, like, let me move in here without question. The least I can do is make sure you’re okay. Do you want me to get you some water or anything?”

Scully winced, shoving one of the throw pillows behind her back for better support. “Water, please.”

William hesitated, furrowing his brow as he watched her attempts at getting more comfortable, and then turned to get her the requested water. He came back a few moments later to see her face much more composed, with her head tilted back and her eyes closed. “I was just up in my room watching a movie. I could move it down here if you wanted.”

Scully rested a hand atop her abdomen, rubbing at the spot where her unborn baby girl was jutting out what she believed was her heel, and she smiled. She opened one eye and shook her head as she looked back at William. As much as it warmed her heart to hear him offer, she was honestly looking forward to a few minutes of rest by herself. The moment would soon come when that rest was hard to come by. “I appreciate it, Will, but now that I’m feeling better, I think I’m going to take a nap. I doubt I’d be good company.”

William stared at her for a second, dubious, before shrugging and heading for the stairs. “Well, if you need me, you know where I’ll be.”

Scully nodded, taking a sip from the water he’d brought her and pressing the cool glass to her cheek. She put the glass on the end table and then settled back into the couch, intending on getting some sleep. As it turned out however, any attempts at sleep would be short lived. Her eyes bolted open as she felt pressure in her lower abdomen, followed by a pain that was far too sharp for her liking. As far as she could tell, her water hadn't yet broken, but Scully couldn't pretend any longer that she didn't know what was happening. The baby was coming, whether they were ready for her or not. Reaching for her cell phone sitting on the coffee table was a struggle, but eventually she was able to grab it and key in Mulder’s number. “Come on, pick up,” she whispered. She hated the idea of bothering him, especially when he was so far away, but she didn't want to take any chances.

Mulder's phone rolled over to voicemail, causing Scully to groan, tossing her own against the couch cushions. The pain had temporarily subsided, but Scully knew it was only a matter of time now before it happened again. She cast a glance in the direction of the stairs, unsure of how he'd take it but also knowing that without Mulder she didn't have any other viable options. “Will!”

William appeared less than a minute later, brushing the hair from his eyes as he took in the sight of her pained expression. “What can I do? Is it time?”

Scully winced, trying her best to keep her breathing steady. “I think so,” she replied, knowing she needed to try her best to remain composed if she were to ask this of him. “I need you to go upstairs and grab my purse. My keys are inside. I need--”

“You can't drive like--” William paused, his eyes widening for second as he realized what she was asking. “Oh. So you want me to drive you? Do I need to pack you a bag? Aren't you supposed to have like a bag of clothes or whatever when you go to the hospital?”

Scully shook her head, pulling her lip between her teeth. “It's already in the trunk. Will, I’m sorry, but can you hurry? Please?”

“Right, yeah. I’ll...be right back,” William replied, glancing once more at her before dashing upstairs for her purse.

On their way to the hospital, Scully called Mulder several more times, leaving him a message and finally deciding to text him where they were headed. She knew he couldn’t be lecturing the entire day, but she also didn’t know his exact schedule, so she pressed her head against the window and prayed he’d manage to get a break in between classes to check his phone.

William changed lanes, tightening his grip on the wheel as he risked a glance over at her. She hadn’t made any strange faces and she hadn’t yelled out, but he still wasn’t sure if that was a good sign. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” Scully replied. At the moment, it wasn’t entirely a lie.

“Sure you are,” William mused. Maybe it was odd they could joke at such a moment, but he knew as well as she did how much of a miracle it was that they’d gotten here. While the visions had ceased months ago, other abilities still remained. He hadn’t impersonated anyone ever since the fateful day on the docks, at least for any length of time, but a part of him considered flooring it and putting on the face of some officer on the way to an emergency should they get pulled over. He looked over at Scully in the passenger seat, thinking better of it, at least for the time being.

By the time Mulder called back, Scully was already admitted and put in a room for monitoring. She cradled the phone, telling him to be careful, all the while knowing he was likely breaking so many speed limits to get to the hospital quicker. “Just hold on,” she said, sighing slowly. While rationally she knew there was no holding the baby back when she decided she was ready, the last thing she wanted was for her to get there before Mulder was there to witness her birth.

“What was it like?” William asked, smiling weakly as he saw her jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“You didn’t bother me,” Scully insisted. She reached for the cup of ice chips at her side, relishing in the cool relief it brought her. “I was just thinking your father needs to hurry up and get here. Although historically, we haven’t had the greatest timing where these things are concerned.”

“You’re talking about when I was born?” William asked, although he already knew she was. He shifted in his seat, pulling the chair closer to her bed. He pulled one of his legs into the chair, propping his chin on his knee.

“Yes,” Scully replied. While they’d spoken of their shared history during the months after they’d reconnected, they had yet to speak much about how he actually came to be. William knew he’d been loved, and the circumstances that warranted his adoption were dangerous, and for a while that had been enough. The curiosity lighting his eyes was proof positive for her that she’d now have to delve deeper into the story. “Well,” she said, chewing on another ice chip. “You were born in Georgia.”

“I was?” William asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. He’d seen flashes of his birth in his visions, of Scully and a dark haired woman, and he’d heard crying which he figured was his own.

Scully nodded, gripping the cup of ice tightly in her hand as she waited for another round of pain to subside. “Yes,” she said, glancing at the clock on the wall before looking at him. “Do you remember what we’ve talked about? About how dangerous it was then?” she asked, waiting for his nod before she continued. “Shortly before you were born, it became clear that we needed to get away in order for me to have you without anyone trying to harm us. We formed a plan, and it was Agent Reyes who ended up driving me to a secluded area in Georgia where we could hide out until it was safe.”

“But I guess that moment never came?” William asked, realizing perhaps a beat too late that he’d spoken the question out loud. He knew he’d lived with her for nearly a year and that for most of that time it had been safe, so in truth he’d only been referring to the circumstances surrounding his birth. Still, references to what he now knew was a difficult decision for her weren’t easy to process, and he wasn’t sure if they’d ever be. They were family now however, he knew that, and so he leaned forward in his chair, intent on learning more. He watched as her face contorted in pain, and carefully pressed a hand to her arm. “Do I need to get the doctor? I just saw a nurse walk by, I can--”

“No, no,” she said, laying her free hand atop his. She waited for her heart rate to return to normal and looked up at him, offering a smile. “This is all a part of the process. Babies come when they want to,” she said, sheepishly glancing at him.

“I wasn’t born at a hospital then, was I?” William asked, suspecting by her tone that the answer was no.

Scully laughed at that, the sound bubbling out from her lips a bit louder than intended, though at the moment she couldn’t have cared less. She had to admit that, while circumstances weren’t entirely ideal--she checked the clock again and debated calling Mulder to get an update on his whereabouts, thinking better of it because she didn’t want to risk a wreck while he was driving--the idea of soon having both of her children and her husband in the room with her was something she took comfort in. William’s poking at their history was something she long ago knew would happen, and she hoped not for the first time that it would feel less painful the more they talked about it. She took in the way he anxiously bounced his leg, clearly eager to move but hesitant to leave her side. “There is one thing you can do. Can you go downstairs to check if your father is here yet? You guiding him back here might spare some poor nurse from facing his wrath for not pulling up the details fast enough.”

If William sensed it was a ploy to get him out of her hair for a minute, he didn’t show it. “I’ll be back. Just,” he said, trailing off as he pointed a finger in her direction, mouth poised to speak but thinking better of it. “Just...I’ll be right back.”

Not long after Mulder arrived, Scully was whisked into delivery. The process wasn’t fast, but before long she gave birth to a happy (and healthy, judging by the high pitched cries that echoed through the room) girl. Mulder had apologized for taking so long, but cradling their new child in her arms, Scully insisted that it didn’t matter. He’d managed to get there in time, and that was what counted.

“She’s got your nose, Mulder,” Scully said, laughing as she traced it with her fingertip.

Mulder reached out, feeling his stomach flutter as his daughter’s tiny hand curled around his thumb. “But your coloring,” he mused, swallowing as he glanced back up at her. “I guess that runs in the family.”

At that, Scully looked up, furrowing her brow as she scanned the room. Since they’d moved her to a private suite she’d seen William briefly, but had been more occupied on bonding with the new baby than keeping an eye on his whereabouts. “Where did he go?”

“He bummed a few bucks off me and said he was going downstairs for a bite to eat,” Mulder replied with a shrug. “Although I get the feeling he also just wanted a few minutes,” he continued. He didn’t want to dampen the mood, but he was also pretty sure similar thoughts were going through her head.

“Today’s been a long day for everyone,” Scully mused, pressing a kiss to the soft skin of her daughter’s face. She adjusted the pink cap on her head and smiled, sniffing as she fought to control the well of emotions she felt churning inside. “I forgot they made hats this small.”

“You still have a few from when William was a baby, don’t you?” Mulder asked, thinking of the boxes that had been carried into the house after the years they’d spent stored in Maggie’s attic. At her nod, he carefully sat next to her on the hospital bed, placing an arm around her shoulders. “He wasn’t this little, was he? She’s like a doll.”

“He was,” she replied, her voice little more than a whisper. Since William had barrelled back into their lives, they’d made attempts at getting to know him better and in turn hopefully letting him know them as well. Still, until more recently, the subject of his time under their care had been carefully avoided, for fear of pressing too much too soon. They had made it clear he was welcome and that he always would be, but as Scully felt the baby squirming in her arms, she felt a lump growing in her throat at remembering the times she’d held William at this stage. Giving him time seemed like a good idea, although she couldn’t help wishing he knew how far their welcome for him extended. Yes, he knew she loved him and yes, they’d gotten past the awkward beginning stages of their newfound relationship, but she wondered if she’d ever stop feeling as if she was walking on eggshells each time they happened to be in the same room.

As if he’d heard her--and, Scully thought upon seeing his face smile meekly from the doorway, perhaps he had--William knocked softly before slowly entering the room, careful to not shut the door too harshly behind him. “I, uh, sort of got something when I was downstairs,” he said, pulling a small vase secured with a pink ribbon containing tulips from behind his back. He held it out, not exactly shaking but not holding it steady either. “The gift shop didn’t have a lot that looked good, and balloons didn’t seem right. The pink ones are for good wishes, and the white for innocence. Purity, I guess. I don’t know, I just thought it was good for...her,” he stammered, awkwardly placing them on the table at Scully’s side before stepping away and focusing intently on his shoes.

Scully looked to Mulder, her mouth hanging open, but when he didn’t speak she cleared her throat and waited until William looked up at her to say anything. “They’re beautiful, Will. Thank you.”

William nodded, feeling a bit out of his element but also grateful his gift had the intended reaction. His first week’s living under their roof hadn’t exactly been easy. They’d had to work through a lot, had to fight for trust on both sides, but he knew now how much she cared for him--how much they both did. He still didn’t understand everything about why he could do the things he could, and what purpose his abilities served, but the more time he spent around them, the more he started thinking that even if it didn’t all make sense, his abilities weren’t all bad. Before he had a chance to contemplate it further, he heard Scully calling his name. “Sorry, what?”

“I asked if you wanted to hold her,” Scully replied, gesturing to the now awake baby in her arms. He’d been supportive in the weeks leading up to her giving birth, had jumped up to clean the kitchen after dinner or down to the basement to take care of the laundry, but William had never outright voiced much of an opinion about the situation. She hadn’t wanted to push the issue, and if he didn’t want to hold the baby she wasn’t going to force him, but if this was going to work, she at the very least wanted to try.

William risked a glance, appearing vaguely interested, but he jumped back at hearing the baby whimper. An image flowed through his head unbidden of a hotel room months ago, and of him jutting his head out just so in an effort to cause severe pain if not worse on those intent on capturing him. Since the night at the docks, they hadn’t heard a word from the soldiers who’d tried hunting him down, and he hoped that wouldn’t change. Still, he could do things no one could explain in ways that didn’t make sense, things that admittedly scared him at times. If he was careful and if he kept his cool everything would be fine, but what if the time came when he couldn’t control it? Rationally, he knew it was all nonsense and he knew he was fine, but he still had to fight to tamper down the doubts he felt stirring inside. “I don’t want to hurt her,” he said.

“You’re not going to,” Mulder insisted, hopping up from his position at Scully’s side. He rounded the bed, taking hold of William’s shoulders, only having to push a little to lead him to a chair where he could sit comfortably. “Babies aren’t scary,” Mulder replied, raising his eyebrows in a silent question to Scully before carefully lifting his daughter from her arms. His daughter, he thought, feeling himself get a little choked up. In spite of all the crazy things that had happened in the years leading up to this moment, Mulder stared lovingly down at his little girl’s face before focusing back on William, and he felt grateful for it. “Do you want to try? You don’t have to, but you can if you want.”

“Sure, I guess,” William replied, shifting so he could rest his elbow on the arm of the chair, thinking the position might be more comfortable for holding her. He still didn’t know if him holding an actual baby was the brightest idea, but they both seemed okay with it and if he was being honest, he was curious.

“Just make sure you support her head,” Scully said, carefully watching as Mulder lowered the baby into William’s arms. If she could have frozen time, she might have considered saving this moment.

“Hey, kid,” William said, laughing nervously as he softly cradled her head like Scully asked. “She’s lighter than I expected.”

“Yes, she is,” Scully agreed. She looked to the flowers and then back at them. “How did you know that, Will? What you said about the tulips?”

“When I was a kid, my mom worked as a florist for a few years,” he said, risking a glance up at her as he spoke. She didn’t begrudge him calling his adoptive parents mom and dad, because to him that’s still who they were. “We had to move. I was at the shop one afternoon when she was working with a pretty difficult customer. The lady started calling her a liar, saying she was manipulating the prices and didn’t know what she was doing. I saw she was getting upset so--” he paused, uncertain of how much he should reveal. Bits and pieces of his childhood had been doled out over the past few months, both from their careful prodding and from his simply wanting them to know, but he still felt afraid of letting things they might not approve of slip. “I...sort of made the vase the lady was holding break. Water got all over her shoes, and apparently they were super expensive or whatever. There was no way to prove it was me, but--”

“But they moved away with you before anyone could figure it out,” Mulder surmised, slowly nodding as he took the story in, mulling it over. If the tables turned, he knew that he and Scully likely would have done the same thing. It didn’t matter where they lived, so long as they were together.

“Yeah,” William replied. He shifted his attention back onto the baby who was apparently content in his arms. His sister, he thought, just as he felt a flicker of something tickling the back of his mind. As he looked down at her, he knew it was impossible but wondered if the feeling had come from her. Then again, he wondered, maybe the whole abilities thing ran in the family, although he figured it was too soon to tell. He tightened his arms around her, feeling an odd sense of protection wash over him, and coughed as he looked back up at Scully. “What did you guys name her?”

“We’re not completely decided on that yet. There’s a few we’re debating, but right now it’s Olivia,” Scully replied, her focus landing on the infant’s face. She remembered staring at William as a baby, having already decided on the name before he was born but wondering if it would fit, not knowing at the time that for years he’d go by another. They’d lost him once, more than that if they were splitting hairs, and she planned on doing whatever she could to make sure it wouldn’t ever happen again.

“Olivia? I kind of like it,” William replied, nodding as he mulled it over in his head. He waited for the tickle of recognition again and was almost disappointed when it didn’t happen. Maybe he’d imagined it the first time, he figured, but either way he felt the baby’s slight weight in his arms and thought about how he felt more part of a family than he had in a long time. “Listen, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you guys about.”

Scully raised a hand to her chest where her cross necklace would’ve been, had they not insisted she remove it before taking her into surgery. She rubbed at the spot of her chest it would have rested instead, fearing whatever his next words might be. They’d settled into a good rhythm, she and Mulder and William, and now their new baby girl. She didn’t want to imagine what life might be like if he decided he no longer wanted what they had to offer. “What is it?”

“I’ve been thinking about getting my GED,” he said, forcing the words out before he changed his mind. “The past year or so hasn’t entirely made it easy for me to go to school. And, well, I don’t really know what I wanna do with my life or whatever, but I kinda figured that if I wanted to do anything past this point, I need to at least say I finished my classes.”

Scully released the breath she was holding, slowly moving her hand to rest back in her lap. Whatever she’d expected, it certainly hadn’t been that.

William shrugged, tucking his sister’s blanket tighter around her as she started to fuss. “I know it’s not exactly traditional, but--”

“Listen, Will, your mother and I? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re not exactly traditional people,” Mulder replied. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“Me too,” Scully said, reaching her arms out for the baby when she started to cry out again. “She’s probably hungry. Come here, little one.”

Carefully, William stood, shuffling over to place her in Scully’s arms. Maybe they weren’t traditional and maybe it didn’t always make sense, but when they all came together, it seemed like a good fit. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head to see Mulder pulling the new smartphone he’d bought a few weeks ago from his pocket. “Do you even know how to use that thing yet?”

“Yes,” Mulder replied, defiant as he tapped the screen to light it up. He swiped the screen, cursing as instead of pulling up the camera he opened an app that started playing music instead.

“You sure about that?” William asked, reaching out for the phone. “Just hand it here, I’ll show you.”

“Will one of you just figure it out?” Scully asked, realizing only afterwards how harsh her words sounded. “Sorry, but she’s hungry.”

“Ha! Never fear, Scully, I got it,” Mulder said, triumphantly raising the phone to capture a picture and then another, well aware of the way William was rolling his eyes as he did so, but finding he didn’t care. The younger man knew at least a fair portion of everything he and Scully fought through to get to this moment, so he wanted to capture it, knowing Scully would likely berate him later if he didn’t. The impromptu photo session was interrupted by a subtle gurgling sound. He tapped the screen to make it go dark before slipping his phone back into his pocket. “What was that?”

“That was you,” Scully said as she turned her head in William’s direction, fixing her face into a look of concern. “Did you spend the money he gave you on the flowers?”

William hung his head, knowing he’d been caught, but also finding he didn’t care, at least not really. “It’s remotely possible.”

Mulder clapped his hands together and rose from his position by the foot of the bed. “Come on, kid,” he said, pointing towards the door. “I saw a sign by the cafeteria that said today’s special is pizza. Are you down for a slice?”

“Oh yeah, totally” William replied sarcastically. He stood up, briefly stepping into Mulder’s space. “You can’t call me kid, you know, not when I’m taller than you.”

“Whatever you say,” Mulder replied, watching as William headed out the door. “I still can’t believe he’s taller than me, Scully. You two going to be okay for a bit while we head downstairs?”

She nodded as the baby turned her head towards her chest, her pink lips opening as she rooted around. “Yes,” Scully replied, thinking not just of the daughter nestled safely in her arms but also of Mulder and William, who was waiting down the hall. They’d made it here, in spite or perhaps because of everything thrown their way. No matter what happened in the coming days and weeks, she never wanted to lose sight of that. “We’re going to be just fine.”

[sparda3g]

Attack on Titan Chapter 103 Review

Wow. I mean wow. Now that’s what I call an explosive chapter. It’s not just an action-packed one; it’s a hell of an adrenaline rush that had me on the edge of my seat. It’s not an expression, I really was. With many cards place on the table and few surprises, it was as intense as it can get, and it’s not over yet. 

First of all, the good news is that Falco and Reiner are alive with a really good save. Reiner just saved him in a nick of time before Eren transforms. Armored Titan’s hands were displayed like a flower shape, which is disturbingly nice. It’s as if the one who was protected is too gentle for this world. Long behold, he’s now in a midst of a total warfare. I absolutely love that shot of Falco overwhelmed by the chaos. After rising back up, he happened to see an all-out war with titans and humans. It’s a massacre.

One of the effectiveness of long buildup is the deep foundation created within these characters. Falco was practically the underdog of the group and he was trying to make things better for himself after pressurized by Reiner and others. Krueger was his only shining light that motivated him to keep it up. Now, he’s watching his once-beloved friend terrorizing his hometown. Not only that, but can’t fathom on the sight of warfare. Everything is happening too fast for his mind to comprehend.

The saddest part to me is how Falco finds out about Reiner’s true feelings. Reiner did well to disguise his problems in front of the kids, but you can’t hide it when you’re in Titan’s stage. Reiner has a heart to care for the future generation, but nothing for himself. When he wasn’t responding, Falco picks up and gets a clear understanding about him. He has no will to live. 

He’s so broken apart. It’s painful to even think about it. Isayama cleverly use his downhill spiral as a tool to prevent himself to get involved with the battle. It’s relevant to the character and the ongoing battle. Although the aftermath may be a disaster, but what difference would that make? He meant what he said. He meant to put an end to his misery.

From there on, it’s a thrilling ride with so many chaotic moments that keeps rising the tension. The teamwork from both fronts is well coordinated and damn impressive in their own ways. Ape Titan is still devastating as ever with his long arms swing demolishing buildings like nothing. That said the strengths of the current Survey Corps clearly have evolved significantly from the last bout with its new gadgets and experiences.

They’re going all maneuvers against him, but the cooperation from other titans like Cart Titan won’t allow anyone to get close. It’s rather cool for Cart to be a carrier for armed men, like a tank; truly fits the name perfectly. Right before it was about to get thunder spear, Jaw Titan comes out of nowhere and smack the hell out of him. Ouch! Even though they overcame that small skirmish, Porco insist that they’re at disadvantage with Ackerman lurking around. So who is the underdog again? Seriously, it showcase that everyone is in the same length and that’s what makes it engaging.

This chapter has plenty of great suspenseful moments that had me gasping. To begin with, Eren actually tries to eat War Hammer Titan user, even when she is crystallized. He will do anything to win, so chow down and everyone froze. The problem is the crystal is absolutely amazing that it cannot break at all. It freaking breaks his mouth like someone slashed his upper lip off. Even the thunder spear didn’t penetrate. Lady Tybur can glare all day and nothing would change.

I would assume that it would mean that Annie hasn’t broken free yet or perhaps Eren is unaware of the status. I’m not saying to give up your hope on her but it is a suggestive idea that could translate to that. Eren has improved wonderfully by leaving and entering Titan after three times and not a moment of slowing down. It’s amazing when the anime resume, we’re going to see his novice days of struggling; in the manga, he’s professional and clever. I don’t know what his plan is but he got to make it quick.

The difference between Porco and Pieck in terms of handling the warfare is clear as day. Porco comes off as a pure rookie and can’t control his temper or emotional distress. Pieck however is thoughtful; if it wasn’t for her, Porco would probably have a panic attack in midst of combat. He already feared of the Survey Corps taking him on like a normal soldier, so her thought-provoking statement does help out. I can see why she is fans’ favorite, though I do like her as well. It’s a necessary moment for us to believe that Marley has the upper hand; it’s only a matter of when they will come out. On the other hand, it is Isayama’s ploy to believe otherwise when “that” moment happens.

It’s amazing how the shift of emotional focus goes to Falco and other Marley soldiers; as if we followed the villains since chapter 1, now finally shifting to the heroes. I do have a bad feeling about the way how the reunion of these soldiers came together at a bad time. Falco is asking for anyone to help Reiner and Gabi arrives in time to hear the news. It would only add fuel for her anger that may come in play in the next chapter. It’s crushing to see them in an ongoing process of changing persona with Falco looking tore and Gabi seeking vengeance.

Recall on what I just said about Pieck mentioning that they have soldiers all prepared and can take out Paradis Island men. I believe Isayama lured the fans to believe that, only for a response come in play. Finally, we got to see Armin, but no Colossal Titan. It’s just a tease for another day to see the debut design.

It’s kind of distressing to see him transforming on the boat along with battleship, mainly due to his reaction. It’s a look of not wanting to do it but it has to be done; polar opposite from Eren who does it and go with it. It could create a new character arc of which a user doesn’t want to use a Titan but because he’s chosen to wield it, he is left with no choice. The wrong man gets the destructive power. It’s on Isayama’s call in the end.

I really adored the atmosphere and the bone-chilling vibe of the destruction. The Colossal Titan’s transformation has proven to be an incredible explosive, almost like a nuke size, so it happened here again. From afar, it creates a massive shock wave that practically caused a powerful wind gust. After they feel like they may start getting some advantage over the Survey Corps, this happens. From here on, it begins a new chapter of the battlefield: the Fall of Marley.

If you look back before finishing the chapter, you would notice that the first half is like a false hope for Marley to win. While the War Hammer Titan is safe for now, it won’t be long before Eren does something insane to claim the power. Porco was held back from doing anything irrational; however, the Colossal Titan reminds him of his old friend, Bertholdt and that what it takes to cause him to rage. I am glad that someone remembers an old friend being killed by the “devils” and this does takes the cake. The problem is his action is going to cost his team severely. How bad? Ape Titan gets taken out. That bad.

The silent holy shit moment is so good. It’s pretty surreal to see the Ape Titan to be taken out in a matter of a second. The expressions from everyone made this moment extraordinary. You can grasp the tension of a massive shock. Hell, I was even shocked with my jaws open. Levi is a real monster out of the two in that one great double page shot. It’s also telling that Isayama creates the sensation of Marley being the victim. We know they are the enemy, no doubt, but it doesn’t force you to react the same way I did. If you think, “Good riddance,” then that’s good. If you think, “Oh this is torture,” then that’s good as well. Levi goes for good measure by dropping a grenade inside and Zeke is now dead.

Right?

Honestly, I believe something is strange with Zeke ever since the festival began, or even earlier. After calming my mind, the one moment I skipped here is how he told Eren that he is not his enemy today, but someone or something else. The most questionable moment is when he told Levi that time is running out and he holds a clock for something. I would assume it has to do with what Jean mentioned here as well, but I am not so sure.

The execution is convincing to be a ploy from him since it did come out of nowhere and he took his time to let everything happened in Survey Corps’ advantage. If he and Levi are working together somehow, why? What would convince them to work together, especially how much damage they caused towards each other? In short, I don’t think Zeke is dead, but part of a ploy that we may be on to something or just our imagination. Either way, it didn’t take away the breathtaking moment. It was fantastic. What’s not fantastic is what happens next to Pieck.

As much as I like the action here, the part that happens to Pieck is pretty damn brutal, I mean Good God almighty. Just when I was talking about her being a fan favorite. It becomes a slaughterhouse or more like a slaughter-cart (I’ll stop now…) when Sasha aims for a headshot and bang, right between the eyes. Sasha got even sharper at her shots; how many potatoes was she offered. Jean was getting his payback on Cart Titan and he wasn’t going to let any second missed. The call to attack it leads to some brutality display of wreckage.

It’s like watching a mobile suit series, seeing the men inside getting blown up as the carrier inside slowly breaks apart. Pieck may not have died instantly but those brute forces of thunder spears have to be deadly enough for her to spill massive blood while as a titan. It’s pretty much overkill; she has to be out of combat for a long time. That said damn, who am I rooting for again?

The cliffhanger leaves a great suspense that is going to give you a headache from many possibilities. It stops right when Jean is about to shoot Pieck to secure the kill, but Falco gets in the way to prevent him from firing. This could go to many ends, including an outcome that has someone to die. Will Jean die by say Gabi (if she still holds the rifle)? I hope not. Will Falco gets killed here? Will everything go normally as in no one dies and just let Pieck live? I don’t know but I’m really worried for the next chapter, which is oddly a good thing.

What a chapter this was. It was explosive from start to finish. There are plenty of moments that will you get amped up like Levi taking out Ape Titan, despite the mystery behind it, or emotional with Reiner letting his life to dust metaphorically speaking. The action is tensed and brutal with a lot of clashes and destruction. The artwork is solid with great panel shots of the landscape and dark tone atmosphere. There are plenty of suspenseful moments that the chapter even ends with a suspense that could result a horrible outcome. I am seriously scared to read the next chapter.

[ironicracks]

Amazon Black Hat & Hacks Tactics to Avoid Penalties

Black hat techniques and hacks are practices that are against the general search engine guidelines set up by any company. This is used to get a better and higher site ranking in search engine results. However, these black hat hacks are entirely unethical and are not legal.

However, the black hat trick is implemented in Amazon’s e-commerce marketing by sellers worldwide. It takes a lot of time for a new product to get an excellent high rank and enough reviews and ratings. To avoid this issue, individual sellers and digital marketing operators use e-Commerce Black hat tricks to get a higher level.

Some commonly used Black Hat Techniques 

Ø  Fiddling with Reviews

Fiddling with reviews is a common technique that is used by a lot of sellers all around the world. Since reviews play a vital role and have a significant impact on the conversion in the world of e-commerce. If a seller suddenly realizes that they are getting one-star ratings due to many negative reviews, the seller tries to tamper with the discussions.

A negative review can bring a sense of doubt in a potential customer. To avoid this, most of the sellers decide to buy positive reviews on their products. Some sellers also use the tactic where they buy negative reviews for their competitors instead of purchasing a positive review for themselves. All this does not have any direct impact on their company, but it ends up affecting the brand image of its competitors.

  Ø  Manipulation of Search Results

The companies which rank higher on the search engine results for Amazon get many more customers than companies with lower search engine rankings. Getting on the top takes a lot of time. This process is slow and steady.  However, most of the impatient sellers do not want to wait for organic growth in their ratings. Instead of waiting for organic growth, most of the sellers try to manipulate the search engine results. This can be done negatively by reporting the product of their competitors on leaving any negative comments.

Another way of managing the search engine ranking is to create accounts and search for their products by exploring them and adding them to the cart without any intention of buying. This directly affects the Amazon algorithm, which ultimately helps them boost their search engine ranking in the Amazon keyword searches.

 Ø  Draining the Advertising Spend of a Competitor

Many sellers resort to this method, where they drain the money spent on advertisements for their competitors. This can be done quickly by clicking on the link and using up their entire advertisement budget. Although this helps Amazon to make a lot of money, there are no conversions for the competitor. This not only affects the score of the advertisement but also modifies the future algorithm of the competitor's ad.

 Ø  Claims of false trademark infringement

Amazon has great sensitivity when it comes to counterfeits. As a result, this is used by some of the merchants who are willing to take the system by filing a number of Trademark infringement claims against their competitors which pushes the business into a suspended category. Even if the target competitor gets his own her selling privileges reinstated the process takes a few days to several weeks in which they lose a considerable amount of sales giving a lot of time to their competitors to capture the market.

 Ø  False Product Claim

Some of the merchants hire people to buy products from their computers website and then return the product stating that it contains a band ingredient or it is a regulated product. Some of the merchants also ask these hired people to return the products stating that it was false or duplicate. This has a direct and drastic effect on the competitor's profile.

 Consequences of Black Hat

The Amazon guidelines clearly state that if a person attempts to manipulate the content or the features by contributing any false or misleading information they may face a suspension or termination of their account.

Consequences for individual users are not very serious. Most of the individual users can create multiple new or fake accounts. As a result even after Amazon has attempted to deter the people from creating multiple accounts, they have been unsuccessful. When it comes to sellers there is a slightly greater risk as compared to individuals.

 Tips to avoid Amazon Black Hat

The first and easiest way to protect yourself from Amazon black hat is to get your brand registered in the Amazon brand registry. It helps you to protect your business and demonstrate your intellectual property. This technique is highly useful especially to fight against false claims. It helps you to protect your business and demonstrate your intellectual property. This technique is highly useful especially to fight against counterfeits but also against false claims that are made as a part of the Black hat technique.

·   Once you get your brand register on Amazon and your application is accepted you will have a much better and more appropriate representation for your business. Amazon also provides you with additional tools which can help you to protect yourself from black hatters.

·   You can also make sure that your business is completely based on honest ethics.

·   Try to stay away from banned products.

[brigdh]

Reading Lately

The Last Camel Died at Noon by Elizabeth Peters. The sixth book in the Amelia Peabody series, murder mysteries set in the late 1800s and starring an incredibly blunt, overly self-confident, ironically melodramatic female Egyptian archaeologist. In this one, Amelia, her husband, and their young son are looking forward to excavating some pyramids south of Egypt, in the lesser-known ancient kingdom of Kush, when they get caught up in a mystery involving a long-lost British couple and their feckless rich nephew, a mysterious hidden kingdom that still practices the ancient Egyptian religion, court politics with two princes competing to be the next king, and a veiled woman who seems to be the secret power behind the throne. It's all a parody-slash-loving tribute to Victorian adventure novels, particularly "King Solomon's Mines" and "She". Peters gives these old racist tropes a modern update, which works in some parts better than others. I loved the eventual reveal that the 'good' prince of the hidden kingdom speaks in a stilted English because he's deliberately modeling himself after the florid heroes of H. Rider Haggard's novels, of which he is a huge fan. Similarly, when Amelia is told to look out for a secret messenger carrying "the book", it turns out not to be the Bible or the Egyptian Book of the Dead or some such sacred text, but a copy of Wilkie Collin's "The Moonstone". On the other hand, the mystery eventually comes down to the Peabodys' desperate rescue of the one young innocent white girl out of this entire kingdom, which is... uh, less great. To say the least. I also felt like this book frequently dragged in places. There's a loooooong section in England before they leave for Egypt. Then a loooooong section in Nubia before they find the hidden kingdom. Then a loooooong section exploring the kingdom before the plot finally arrives. I don't think The Last Camel Died at Noon actually has more pages than any other book in the series, but goddamn if it didn't feel like it took three times as long to read. So, not my favorite Amelia Peabody, but I'm still looking forward to the next one! The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers. A light-hearted ensemble space opera, starring the crew of a mid-level spaceship. The main character (as much as there is one; this is an extremely team-focused book) is Rosemary, a nice young woman, just out of college and somewhat sheltered, who arrives at the Wayfarer at the opening of the book to serve as their clerk. However, she's more than she seems: working under a false name and hiding secrets that will be revealed late in the book. Also onboard is Captain Ashby, a human in a long-term relationship with Pei, an alien arms dealer whose culture is HUGELY against interspecies sex; Jenks, an engineer who's fallen in love with the ship's sentient AI and is considering downloading her into a physical body despite this being incredibly illegal; Dr Chef, the kindly doctor and cook who comes from a nearly extinct species and whose sweetness covers a backstory of war and angst; Corbin, in charge of the algae from which the ship gets most of its power, a gumpy, racist, introvert; Kizzy, an antic, cheerful engineer and the only character who doesn't get much an arc, though she's a lot of fun in the background; and Ohan, who has the ability to navigate through hyperspace due to being infected with a virus that's slowly killing him. There's also the pilot Sissix, from a lizard-like species that practices polyamory, casual sex and lots of touching, who's a bit tired of dealing with all the culture clashes this causes on a mostly-human ship. She and Rosemary eventually enter into a relationship, which I mention because you gotta love a book in which a f/f open romance can be dropped in as a subplot. On the other hand, there isn't much of a main plot; this is very much a character-driven book instead of one with a clear, driving endgoal. Instead various characters meet and overcome minor difficulties, and it's all just nice if fairly inconsequential. The best part of The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet is absolutely how much *fun* it is. The worldbuilding is full of charming tossed off ideas, the scifi elements of the background are hugely inventive and clever, the characters are generally enjoyable to spend time with, and there's a ton of bits that made me laugh with pure delight. Like this section, which never ends mattering, but is too cute not to share: The mech tech herself was perched on a work ladder, her head and hands up inside an open ceiling panel. Her hips rocked in time with the drum beats. She belted along to the throbbing music as she worked. “Punch ‘em in the face! Monkeys like it, too!” “Hey. Kizzy,” Jenks said. “I ate a har - monica! These socks — match — my hat!” “Kizzy.” A tool clattered to the ground. Kizzy’s hands clenched into fists as the music swelled to a stormy crescendo. She danced atop the shuddering ladder, her head still in the ceiling. “Socks! Match — my hat! Socks! Match — my hat! Step on — some — sweet — toast! Socks! Match — my hat!” “Kizzy!” Kizzy ducked her head down. She pressed the clicker strapped to her wrist, turning down the volume of the nearby thump box. “Sup?” Jenks quirked an eyebrow. “Do you have any idea what this song is?” Kizzy blinked. “Socks Match My Hat,” she said. She went back up into the ceiling, tightening something with her gloved hands. “Soskh Matsh Mae’ha. It’s banned in the Harmagian Protectorate.” “We’re not in the Harmagian Protectorate.” “Do you know what this song’s about?” “You know I don’t speak Hanto.” “Banging the Harmagian royal family. In glorious detail.” “Ha! Oh, I like this song so much more now.” “It’s credited with setting off the riots on Sosh’ka last year.” “Huh. Well, if this band hates the establishment that much, then I doubt they’ll care about me making up my own words. They can’t oppress me with their ‘correct lyrics.’ Fuck the system.” My main problem is that, as sweet and nice as all this is, there's just not much there there. I felt like every time a potentially interesting conflict arose, the book went with the easiest possible answer; I was particularly annoyed with the resolution of Rosemary's background in this regard. It was a pleasant read, but not the sort of thing that will stick in my memory. Still, thank you to everyone who recommend this to me! :D I did have a good time with it. Venom: The Heroic Search for Australia's Deadliest Snake by Brendan James Murray. A nonfiction book about the taipan, the most venomous snake in the world (well, depending on how one measures such things), and the effort to capture a living snake for study and to enable the production of an antivenom. Murray is far more interested in the story of the people involved in this search than he is in the snake or its biology, which ends up producing a book that reads a lot like an action movie. Which is not a criticism! I loved how much this felt like a suspenseful thriller. There were a few scenes that were so unbelievably wild I had to read them out loud to my partner. Murray focuses on four people in particular: George Rosendale, a young Aboriginal man (only 19 when he was bitten in 1949) who is the only person ever known to have survived a taipan bite without being treated with antivenom; Bruce Stringer, a ten-year-old who was bitten in 1955 and became the first human to receive the then brand-new antivenom; Kevin Budden, an amateaur herpetologist who in 1950 captured the first living taipan but who died in the process; and John Dwyer, a friend of Budden's who in his memory captures the second living taipan, said snake becoming both the most significant contributor to antivenom production and the first taipan to be exhibited in a zoo. Between these men and others featured more briefly, Venom is packed full of exciting stories of hunting snakes through jungles and sugarcane fields, and medical dramas in which lives are saved or lost as doctors and amateurs struggle to find the best treatments. It's not all page-turning adventures though; I appreciate how much attention Murray gave to the role of colonialism and anti-Aboriginal racism, both in Rosendale's personal life and the larger scope of Australian history. I do have a few criticisms. Murray jumps back and forth between so many characters (are they still called characters if they're real people? whatever) and between so many time periods that I was often confused and had trouble remembering who was who. Less significantly, I longed for a epilogue or short final chapter that would have covered what we now know about taipan. A great deal of Venom is taken up with scientists arguing over what were unknowns in the 1940s and 50s – is the taipan a separate species from the Eastern Brown Snake? Is it venomous? If so, how much? how big does it get? where can it be found? how far south does its range extend? – that by the time I reached the end of the book, I was desperate for answers! Don't make me do my own research, Murray, especially since I'm too lazy to go past Wikipedia. Overall, I'd absolutely recommend this to anyone who enjoys creepy biology or exciting history. I read this as an ARC via NetGalley.

[DW link for easier commenting!]

[hirakdesherrani]

Urmmm...

Okay 4 episodes into Bepannaah and I can’t keep it in any longer....

Lemme first start with the Good..

The Good 

The actors!!! Harshad and Jennifer are such uninhibited performers that its truly entertaining to watch them, ‘cos after all television is a visual medium so emotions need to be shown. Sure there are some shots where they go overboard, but I feel they are a good mix of drama and subtlety in acting. The leads are no doubt the greatest asset to the show. I’m also partial to Shehzad, and the actors playing Zoya’s father, and Aditya’s mother. 

The title track is so full of feels and just...beautiful. Matlab its soo nice, they could play on a shallow couple like Shivika, and it’ll probs add substance to them also. Also, the background score is so fitting, like in every situation they have just the right score to suit scenario.

The chemistry, I mean, they haven’t even started with the romantic part, but JenShad are really likable. 

Of course, the story. This is what, apart from the actors, is keeping me hooked. The whole suspense surrounding the dead spouses and were they actually having an affair. Also, the involvement of Aditya’s and Zoya’s fathers in the deaths; I’m sure they had a hand in the whole business. They are shady af.

The plot is well scripted, the dialogues are on point, and the false notes are really less. Of course, since its the first week, the chances of false notes will be less anyways. 

I also like the direction, esp. the scenes focusing on Aditya, they capture Harshad’s expressions so well. 

The cherry on top is the styling, like we know the families are filthy rich, but their clothes are normal (?), like believable. I especially love Zoya’s styling. 

The Bad

This is where my main problem is. I really don’t like either Aditya or Zoya. Right now, what is saving these two characters for me are Harshad and Jennifer. Like of the two, I think I dislike Aditya more. I’m trying really hard to find something I like about him, but till now the only thing I liked is Aditya telling Zoya to have some self-respect. And even there, I don’t like his manner of talking. 

Look, I get it that Aditya is angry at what he perceives to be Pooja’s betrayal, but dear god, do you really have to behave that over-the-top about it? I can’t understand, I know he is in pain, which he is trying to mask with his dark humor and sarcasm, but is this pain about his wife’s betrayal or the fact that she is dead? As of now, it looks like he just can’t get beyond his wife’s betrayal. And that I find supremely selfish or rather self-centered. Its all about what she did to him, than the fact that she is dead. I mean, show some sympathy to the person who is dead, who can’t defend herself. 

I get it that the writers are trying to show that Aditya is a man who sees the world in black and white, and jumps to conclusions. Yes, I get it. But Pooja is not just his wife, she’s his best friend since the age of 12. They have known each other for half a lifetime. And he doesn’t even wait a moment to ponder over why they are holding hands, straight jumps into this Amitabh Bachchan from Deevaar avtaar, taking out his anger on the whole world. 

And worst part is that he is insulting Pooja every second, in front of the whole world, but also in front of her mother. Her mother must be already feeling ashamed that her daughter cheated on her husband, and broken that her only child is dead; and Aditya is leaving no stone unturned to hammer that fact further. In the first episode, they showed that Aditya was really close to his mother-in-law, then at least he should care about her feelings, and keep his anger to himself instead of behaving like a maniac. 

Then there’s his behavior with Zoya. I mean, he is angry at Pooja’s betrayal, but he is also angry that why is Zoya not feeling similar emotions? I mean, if she trusts her husband and wants to mourn him, toh Aditya ka dimaag kyun kharaab ho raha hai? He’s being super-se-bhi-upar mean to her. And like no sense of place or situation? What was that “lets have an affair too, and show it to them (Pooja and Yash).” He can’t take out his anger on Pooja, so he’s taking it out on everybody else, especially Zoya, because probs he sees her in place of her husband. 

Which brings me to Zoya. I understand her, and I feel for her, but I don’t like her? Like why doesn’t she speak up? I know everyone processes grief differently, but when Aditya suggested (mockingly) that they have an affair too, she should’ve just slapped him, at least called him ghatiya, kuch toh angry reaction deti???? All she did was look disturbed, like not even disgusted. This is perhaps the first show in ages where I don’t stan or like the female lead. (I don’t watch shows where I don’t like the female lead) I’m thinking back to all my fav female leads: Zoya (from Qubool Hai), Kashaf, Geetanjali, Satrupa, Gauri, Zulekha, and so many more, and what they have is some fire, a spark of personality. 

(This) Zoya just doesn’t have any personality. Like her mum describes her perfectly “aaj tak kisise uuche awaaz mein baat nahi ki”. Like I understand she has lived a sheltered life and been surrounded by people who take care of her. I feel for her, I really do, but do I like her? Not really. She was obsessed with her husband, like he can’t take a morning jog without worrying her. And yet, she overlooked that he could be doing something shady on the side. 

The only thing I like about her till now, is that she doesn’t jump to conclusions and she still wants to find out the truth. Also, she is more honest with herself than Aditya. 

The other thing that annoyed me was the set and in general, the aesthetics in Mussoorie. One, they looked too grandiose, like they would overwhelm the characters, and second they looked slightly unreal, too perfect like a painting. Thankfully, JehShad have a strong screenspace, otherwise it would have looked like Padmavat in making. 

Despite this, I know I’ll watch the fuck out of this show, because of the actors and the interesting storyline. And clothes. (Just lemme save up, then I’m so going to get myself some Zoya outfits) 

The Sad

The unfortunate part is that Aditya reminds me too strongly of Omkara. Except that Aditya has shades of Rudy too, i.e. his immature, almost man-child attitude. Especially in today’s episode. I mean, they are lighting the funeral pyre, its a serious scene, and Aditya comes up with some sassy remark about “swarg mein honeymoon” and I am half-laughing, half-rolling my eyes at his behavior. 

The whole jumping to conclusions, self-centeredness, seeing things black and white, is all Omkara. Esp. today when he burnt Pooja’s clothes and other stuff, I was so strongly reminded of Omkara burning those hideous paintings of Gauri/rather Astha. 

People on Twitter have also noted these similarities. And taken it further by comparing Zoya to Gauri. But there I draw a line. Yes, Zoya puts her husband on a pedestal, trusts a bit too much, believes that God will show her the way, but thats where the similarities end. Gauri had fire, which Zoya (as yet) hasn’t shown. Imagine if Aditya had made the improper suggestion of having an affair to Gauri (even as a joke). Dangal ho jaana tha, ek jhaap mein cockpit se sata deti Aditya ko. Queenie would never put up with shit the way Zoya is doing. 

Atm Aditya is reminding me too strongly of Omkara and Rikara, except that Aditya and Zoya are going to get an amazing story because the writers care about them and they are in good hands. It makes me depressed that Rikara never got what they deserved, ‘cos tbh Om and Gauri, esp. Gauri, are wayy more likable as characters than Aditya and Zoya. 

What works for Adi and Zoya are that they are handled by better writers, played by better actors, get wayyyy better scenes, and most importantly, the show is about them; they are the central focus point of the show. 

Matlab I move on to another show, and phir bhi Rikara naam ka grahan is not leaving my peecha. 

[sienna27]

TWD Spoilers - The Big Scary U (8x05)

Notes.  Again, separate bullets.  Though there are no literal bullets.  

Imagine them.  

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So to open with “bullets.”  Did they actually have Negan refer to the rifle’s magazine, as a “clip?”   They are not the same things.  Negan would know this.  And I am QUITE sure that all of the show’s explosive/FX guys and gals would know this too.  It’s just little bits of sloppiness like that in the writing, which make me sigh.

The whole scene with the Negan Round Table was tense and well done, but would have been WAY more suspenseful if we hadn’t seen that every one of those people sitting around the table (potentially about to be Lucille’d if Negan had gone off like it ‘seemed’ that he would) if we hadn’t already known all of those folks were alive and perfectly well when Rick et al showed up to ram the barricades.  Just saying, no issue at all with flashbacks to forward the plot, they save us needless exposition, but they literally could have opened the Premiere with that scene, as in aired it ‘in order’ and it would have been just fine with me.

Nice touch with all the marks and dents on Negan’s end of the Meeting Table.  It wasn’t even like it was a camera pan, I just happened to notice it. So I’d like to think that was JDM fucking it up during rehearsal.  

King Ass Face.  Heh.  And so CHILDISH!  You know why?  Because Ezekiel (and his “They’ve Got a God damn Tiger” tiger #RIPSHIVA) were the ones that saved Alexandria and ran Negan off before he could kill Carl and cripple Rick.  Negan is a bitter child. 

Not to belittle Glenn’s death but I will allow that it was ‘refreshing’ (for lack of a better word that I can’t think of right now) to hear him referred to as “The Widow’s Husband,” when you know it’s always women referred to as ‘so and so’s wife.’  

So Rick, Daryl, Carl, The Widow, The Ginger, Preacher, King Ass Face.  Is that everybody that Negan knows by ‘name?’  If so, I am VERY curious as to what he would call Carol.  Because the Termites were the ones who nicknamed her and Daryl The Archer and the Queen Bitch.  I think Negan would come up with something more unique for her.  

Speaking of Negan, let’s get into him for a second.  His discussion of “rubbing one out” in the trailer to calm down was a discussion I could have done without.  I’m not saying it was bad writing, it was effective in adding a layer to his creep factor, but still, didn’t need the imagery in my head.  Blech.  Overall though, Negan referred to his junk or someone else’s junk seriously like a RIDICULOUS number of times, and by the end, it HAD lessened my view of the character.  Which I’m assuming was intentional, because he no longer comes off as quirky, powerful scary, he just comes off as a genuine creep.  Like dude, it’s a workplace, enough about your dick.   I know this was filmed back in early summer but it was striking me as oddly ‘timely’ with the current wave of creepy harassers being exposed (no pun) right now.  

Simon Ogg is really excellent at ‘goofy scary’ which is a very particular skill set.  And it pains me to say it (though I’ve intimated to this before) but I am not ‘un-fond’ of Gavin.  I will be a little sorry when he gets killed.  That is mostly because he is a good actor, and he plays him more like a ‘real’ person, if that makes sense.  Obviously I know it’s the writing too, but like him going through the doorway to see that Rick and everyone were outside about to unleash hell and he muttered, “oh shit.”  Because THAT is what you say in that moment!  Then again walking out to see the double digit worker insurrection and muttering, “Jesus Christ.”  Again, APPROPRIATE RESPONSE FOR THE MOMENT!  He doesn’t walk around with a false bravado or a true psychopathy like some of the others, he’s just in the middle of this shit and he holds the line of what he needs to do but he’s said before, he just chose this as the easiest path.  Unlike most of the Saviors who are psychopaths or average redneck, dirtbags, I believe that Gavin could just as easily have been part of any of these other groups.  He just happened to run into Negan first.

Speaking of their redneck dirtbags, are there any black Saviors?  Or Asian, or Hispanic saviors for that matter?  I know the workers there for sure yes, clearly a multi-ethnic group, but I am drawing a blank on any ‘non-white’ members of their armed faction.  Hmph.  (*whispers* racist)

I have missed Eugene’s Eugene’isms.  From the beginning the show has always had characters who added levity to scenes that weren’t funny and with Abraham and Glenn, and Merle, and HERSHEL, etc., all dead, Eugene’s absence in that area was a missing piece of the key TWD puzzle.  That said, if he doesn’t trade a couple of his cucumbers for a full set of working testicles, and do a major doublecross of Negan I have no problem with him being Lucille’d or made into walker chow.  Him not immediately diming out Dwight was a good start.  And I think he was genuinely happy to see Gabriel too.  

Gabriel grew a pair!  Like, for real!  He was manipulative and lowered Negan’s defenses and fucking stripped him of his gun!  Damn, man!  Good job!  I mean, it didn’t work out, but still!  SOLID EFFORT!  

The Rickyl.  Rick’s points weren’t wrong, but Daryl was right.  I am TeamDaryl on this one.   Things change.  You had three full communities of fighters in this war, and now you have two.  It’s like you lost a whole God damn country.  War plans are changed when a country is lost from the list of allies.  Especially when you only had two allies.  And Daryl wasn’t being psychotic with his plans!  He wanted to end it all that day.  The quicker a war ends, the more people live.  That’s a ‘duh’ moment.  And he listened to Rick’s point about the families and nodded like ‘yeah, okay I don’t want to kill the families,’ then pointed out, ‘but hey, they live over in this part of the compound we’ll just go in on the other side, they can run up the stairs to escape the walkers and Rick is still, “No! People could get hurt!” Dude!  you’re fighting a WAR!  You can, and should, work to minimize civilian causalities but you can’t save everyone!  It’s your people or their people.  One of them has to be the MAIN priority, and one has to be the LESSER priority.  Get with it, man.  

The fight did have good wind up music though.  I think it was a riff off of the Daryl/Richard fight music!  Even with Daryl’s “NAW!”  Ha, ha!

Then Rick, FUCKING MORON(!!!!!), tosses the explosives into the fire.  This Rick, this is why people think you’re bad at coming up with plans.  Because blowing up the truck, instead of the Savior compound, was a “bad plan.”  Their faces after that were a nice, amusing, break to the tension. Like a sigh, and “okay, well, that’s the end of that.’  And their sweet little choke hold callback.  You do know that we have the only show, in the world, with a sweet little CHOKE HOLD, callback :)  It was also sweet how Daryl was all about unleashing his frustration on Rick, and kicking his ass, then he realizes that Rick might actually get hurt (again because he’s a fucking moron) and then it was all “I will grab your hand and drag your ass out of here because I LOVE you!”   :)

Negan couldn’t put down Woman Lucille after she turned.  So Negan is . . . Morgan.  Hmph.  I also would have been cool with a quick flash of Woman Lucille showing Hilarie B in that role.  

Now one point that I’ve never gotten into before on my notes here,but it has been with me since the beginning of my season seven catch up, was the whole thing with Negan’s “wives.”  Because his fans are all, ‘oh he’s not a rapist, he’s okay.’  But what he does is NOT okay.  He sees a woman that he likes and makes their husbands GIVE them to him so he doesn’t beat their brains in!  He IS a rapist.  Just because you aren’t physically holding the women down during the “act” doesn’t make what he’s doing any less of a violation.  Christ, his wives were trying to kill him!  These are not voluntary relationships! They want him DEAD!   I’m not trying ‘to do battle’ with a whole sub-segment of the shipping community but yeah, a guy who coerces women into having sex with him or he’ll kill them and/or their real husbands is just fucking disgusting.  I’m hoping that all of that stuff being brought up again (plus all of the creepy dick talk above) is the part of the writer’s efforts to remove the ‘mystique’ around him, and make him more of ‘pathetic douchebag,’ than a ‘charming villain.’    It’s working guys!  👍🏽

Speaking as a Virginian, and knowing our “fairly” balanced racial makeup in the NOVA area, I can say without a doubt that there were not nearly enough ‘black walkers’ in that herd of dead people.   Were those like “Friendship Heights” walkers?  Because otherwise, no.  

The Regina actress is a terrible actress.  It’s SO rare that they have a casting misfire (“fifth letter of the alphabet” *cough, cough*) that it is JARRING when a bad actor shows up.  Because bad acting takes you out of the moment and when she yelled, “I’m Negan,” with all of the impact of a high school theater production, I was like, ‘oh, no, no that made my ears hurt.  Shhhh.”    No future talking for her.  She just needs to stand there and look tough until she gets iced.

And as long as I’m on this, Austin isn’t a super great actor either.  Not terrible.  And maybe the prosthetic on the face is hurting him.  Not physically but like affecting his performance, because he doesn’t ‘project’ much in the way of emotion.  I understand he was doing a double cross there and trying to protect his identity, so he was supposed to be ‘pretending’ to be tough when he was actually just freaking out that they would figure out it was him and he’d get tossed out into the herd.  Still, I’d never watched him before and thought, “wow, he’s good,” like I have for (as examples) Simon and Gavin above.  So I’m going to stick with, ‘not super great.’  :(  But on the bright side, I have HIGH hopes Daryl will murder him by season’s end.  

Helicopter.  I blinked, and blinked, and blinked.  So confused.  Like, does it belong to the Garbage Pail Kids?  Do they have a helicopter in the dump? Because it was their ‘neighborhood’ Rick was walking through.  Curious.  Very curious.  Maybe it’s a harbinger for next season...

Overall even though it was Savior focused I didn’t hate it, but that was ONLY because they balanced it with the Rickyl.  I don’t wish to see another Savior focused episode, at all though, so here’s to hoping we won’t have to.  And I would have totally skipped next week (more of Jesus is enough for me to skip right now) but then Carol had to show up in the next scene damn it.  See, keeping one of the Magic Three Carickyl constantly on screen DOES affect viewership, because I can’t be the only one who was like, ‘okay, fine. I’ll watch.’

Finally to the Caryl:  Updating my note here, because on second watch, the scene was actually much more layered than it seemed!  Full thoughts (with screenshots) on that over here on this post.  Still though, screw you random Dying In The Street Savior for telling Daryl that  Carol was alive!  We needed him to check on that shit himself!!!  And he WOULD have damn it, because his face when he thought that EVERYONE was dead, was complete horror and panic.  Then the relief when he found out about the badass woman who killed all of the other saviors, (because of course he knew if there’s ever a Last Woman Standing it’s his Carol) was totally an ‘oh yeah, that’s my girl.  Thank God she’s okay,” sigh.  It was actually kind of the reverse of her hearing his motorcycle last week.  Her smile, then his sigh of relief of knowing that she was still all right.  And that’s our Caryl for the week.  Which is again, (let’s all remember the drought) more Caryl than we got in 96% of last season’s episodes!  So I can’t even be annoyed with Norman.  He wasn’t trolling, he didn’t SAY anything was going to happen with like a ‘wink, wink or something.  He was just excited about tonight because of the Rickyl stuff, and he was excited about his Melissa tweet because he loves Melissa and apparently really liked that Caryl scene with her.  So he put it up again, and I got my hopes too high that the writers would reward us, as I would have rewarded us.  It was on me.  I own it.  Sorry folks if I got anyone else’s hopes up too :)  Also I do honestly, think it’s deliberate that literally every single week either M or N puts up a Caryl post on show night.  I think they are trying to keep the momentum going in the background, even if the foreground plot on the show, is still ‘the war.’  Just how I see it.  It’s coming :)

So, later kids!   Have a good week!  And if it’s an upcoming Turkey Day for you enjoy your side dishes, because really the sides are the best part! ✌️

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[aleatoryalarmalligator]

Life Story Part 33

Sorry for the delay. I will continue writing this story now.

Earlier that fall, there had been an incident that I have failed to mention. My female friends and I had all been hanging out in the front of my house one night talking and being sort of hyper. What we were doing or saying I do not remember and it was probably a little dumb. In the darkness I heard someone started walking down the path in front of my house. I shrieked because I was shocked. It turned to be this stocky woman with short black hair. She looked pissed and ready to do battle. And because I had shrieked, she was all kind of pissed. She came up to me and started saying she was going to take us all out. We looked at one another to confirm with one another that this adult woman was actually being serious right now. She had her fists balled. I had never been in a fist fight in my life. She especially wanted to fight me, and seemed to have made some strange assumption that I of all people was the mob boss. I think she was kind of crazy, since I was clearly not alpha female, and I got this sense that this is what she thought I was. Eventually, my friends all stepped in and tried to explain to her that we really really had meant no offense, and we would rather leave her alone than fight her. We had to agree to strange things that implied her dominance over us physically. After making fun of my hair and my make up and anything she could think to call me out on, she headed off down the road.

I found out that her name was Angel. She was Kyle's sister. Well, she wasn't really Kyle's sister since Kyle is the eldest and Ronnie had four boys and one baby girl now. Angel had been the daughter of one of Kyle's mother's boyfriends from the eighties, a long long time ago. From what I gathered, Angel didn't like her real father, and was so deplete of a real family, she had stuck on by Ronnie and sometimes had lived with her off and on throughout her life. She was very rough. I was weary of her and had learned to watch out for her.

Somehow, despite being ground up to my eyelids, I had convinced my father that I had to go to an event at the school to maintain my art grade. It was manditory I told him, and if I didn't go I might get even more suspensions. This was untrue, but it worked well in the end. There was a sort of performance art showing at the high school, to be performed in the high school gymnasium, so it wasn't completely false either in the sense that there was a school event. I was even able to get a signature from my art teacher being intentionally vague about the details of my grade relating to this showing just so I could go. Ms. Fiske (my art teacher) hated my father. She didn't know about the abusive stuff. She was mad because years previously, back when I had been a fifth grader and she had just gotten her first divorce, she had come on to my dad one day in front of the house as he was all sweaty and manly and doing housework, offering herself up as a casual sex partner, and he never returned the interest.

This was hardly a reason to dislike him, but she had also gotten word that he was a republican. And she was tribal like that. Ordinarily, I would have saluted her strong attitude for it's political responsibility – not then as I was in a whole sea of vague concerning politics, but if you knew Ms. Fiske, she really didn't know what the hell she was talking about ever be she on the left or the right. She contradicted herself politically everyday. Really, the whole thing was more about picking a side than understanding why. She even would sometimes start making the same arguments that republicans would.

In any case, it worked to my benefit, because I then had one ally with whom I might be able to curry favors from against my father if need be.

Ms. Fiske had somehow convinced Whitney (Zack's sister) to come to this event as someone who took tickets. We got in for free, which was nice. And Zack was there strangely enough, and due to this, I was immediately disinterested in the performers who had come to our small town in any way.  I wish I had been, because what I did see of it near the end was really quite amazing. At the very end of the show, I walked in, and there were these intricate paper mache masked people, some of it was like clay. It was sort of demonic, sort of antique, sort of tribal. One of their heads was so enormous I could barely comprehend they could keep that on their face. There were dancers, and puppets dancing around. It was completely entrancing. I've seen nothing like it since. Our small close minded town wasn't deserving of them. The person I am today, I would have passed on flirting opportunities to watch the performance. Any guy I would truly be interested in today would be way ahead of me. This very well was probably the most lovely thing that had ever come into town. It was just this really obscure group of puppeteers and dancers. I noticed sadly that they all slept in this moderate sized van with their props and everything. I could not believe the amount of struggle they were putting into it, night after night, in rural cold little towns far from civilization, packing up there art and taking it to people who probably wouldn't even remember in it in a year. It seems very lonely, and very rough.

Instead of all that, I had ran outside with Zack. He started talking to me about conformity. He started making vague statements about society. And he claimed that him and I were the anticonformists, able to see through the guise of reality into a deeper one. He really felt very connected with me for this reason because we were the real ones and everyone else was fake according to him. I felt pretty pleased that he regarded me so highly, and a little taken aback. This was not something I was generally used to being any good at – having a conversation about the world at large. What is now a complex fabric that has multiple stretches of possible roads and connections was at that time a blank slate. What Zack told me starting that night completely filled that blank slate. And my affections and loyalty, as well as the flattery of being so highly regarded as to be 'one of the chosen few', kept me from having any doubts about what he ever said.

We then proceeded to walk around the school and break off all the plastic signs and anything else on the school we could find. Deep down, I didn't mean any of it. But Zack and I had to do it for symbolism's sake. This was part of what it meant to be an anticonformist. You have to do your part to tear down the fake society that we had no choice but to exist in. So we did some minor acts of vandalism, and after the vandalism Zack said we were going to go to the prom together that year, and not go in or dance, but instead TP everyone's cars and get silly string and graffiti paint cover the school, just to teach everyone a lesson about their stupidity and conformity. As I stood there thinking about what he said, inspecting our work, he then walked off to smoke and be mysterious, and Ava came outside to find me and coaxed me back into the school telling me that I was missing the great performance of a lifetime that I was indeed missing and was indeed the performance of a lifetime.

I watched the tail end of it. And after the performance, I wanted to go out and see Zack again. When he smoked, I could almost feel the smoke in the cold November air as some kind of life force in and of itself. It was intoxicating and addictive. It was ten at night. The air had already become extremely cold during the nights. We found Zack sitting in his father's red pick up truck. He was smoking a cigarette much to my glee, and listening to Behind Blue Eyes by The Who. It was almost over the top, like some satire of a bad boy almost. There probably was more posing in this than I even realized. Years later I learned that during this time in his life, he used to intentionally get his nice clean clothes that his mother launded and take them outside and intentionally put them on the ground and rub them in dirt, just to get that edgy dirty look.  I was such a musical buffoon back then, I honestly asked who was covering this Limp Bizkit song. I didn't know who The Who was, and I thought Limp Bizkit had written the song.

I thought it kind of strange, but Ava had started to talk over me when Zack was around more often and would position herself as close to Zack as possible when she talked. It seemed rather casual, but it felt a little intentional as well. I didn't know enough about interacting with people to know if this was normal, or if there was a mysterious body language element to it. If there was, I didn't want to believe that Ava would be in on that. I didn't want to suspect anything, but there was this little feeling I got when I saw her looking at Zack that I thought was annoying. I wasn't overturned with rage, just some part of me felt a little tickle in the back of my awareness. I would then think about what it implied, and instantly I would feel wrong about it. I would offhandedly ask her if she was into Zack, and she would smoothly and transparently tell me that she wasn't.. And he didn't say the kinds of things he said to me to her though – he didn't think of her as an anticonformist, and I would remind myself of that when I began to feel jealous. I figured that it was just Ava being Ava. She was a hart person to push away. She was all about getting as much attention as humanly possible, and most of us knew that. She would never do anything of course.

When I got home after all of that, as I walked up to the driveway there was a shocking sight. My father was in the car with a woman and was making out with her. I had to sort of process what I had seen. I tried to pretend I hadn't seen it – I have always been weary of watching my parents show acts of passion like these, but I couldn't help but noticing that the woman in question looked an awful lot like Angel. And it was. They didn't even know one another, and now this? I could barely believe it. It didn't make any sense. It was mad. Nothing made any sense, the world was a crazy place. It seemed like everything I had assumed was a certain way was really another, and this was just the beginning of it. I was beginning to wonder at this time, with Zack prodding me along of course, if I really knew the truth behind anything at all. There was no order to the universe from what I could see. I grew up seeing a hierarchical structure, and I was beginning to learn that nobody was in charge. Rules were arbitrary and worked on everyone differently. For all I knew, my parents could hook up again, sounds totally absurd, but who really knows? I wasn't upset, not at all. Quite to the contrary. I rather enjoyed the lack of order the universe was showing me. I just didn't know what to do with it.

The principal took me in sometime that late fall, and explained to me that due to the amount of absences I had accumulated over the year, he was going to have to take away what few credits I had managed to accumulate, if I missed just one more day. And to show just how much I hadn't been paying attention (perhaps nobody had explained to me), I had no idea that there was a credit system or process involved with graduating high school. I never thought I would be graduating anyway. I was decently certain with myself that by the time I reached sixteen or seventeen, I would in a band with my friends, and we wouldn't need to graduate. Samantha would play drums, Ava would sing, Sarah would play bass and I would play the guitar. Why worry about credits or geometry when music and art were so much better? Of course I just knew my friends were all on board with this. It never crossed my mind that when we all talked about this stuff and the band we would be in when we stayed over at each other's houses, no one else really meant any of it. For me, it wasn't an option.

But, given everything else, just to keep my father off my back, I complied with my principal's demands. I didn't really want to lose what little I had earned, and I only had one more month before there was a new semester. So I made sure not to miss one more day. I even went to school with the stomach flu one day – having just stopped throwing up an hour before school started. My stomach queezy and contracting stomach pains, and as much as I brushed my teeth, vomit on my breath. I meandered to school in a state of agony and died a slow death all day long in the various classrooms that I was hauled too one after one, before finally being able to go home. And what do you know, at the end of the semester, he took my credits away anyway. Goes to show I guess.

My dad had taken Allison and David to the fair that fall, and while they had been there, they had seen Jessie (Jodi's daughter). She really missed us, and so my dad said she could come to our house to say hi sometime. Even though she had been a huge pain to me – I actually found that I missed her too. I haven't spoken much about her, but I had a soft spot for her. We had almost been sisters. She came to visit that November. She had grown a lot in that year. She was more of a preteen now, and wasn't as prone to her former behaviors. She was excitable and very happy to see us, and she came to visit me in my room. It was Thanksgiving break, and she was at this age where she wanted to listen to music and start doing things teenagers do. In her mind, I was considered a cool older kid because I was fourteen years old, had a cd collection and went to high school, and naturally I wasn't about to tell her otherwise. I let her have all the cds I owned that I no longer liked. I gave away my beloved Eminem cds. I let her have my first two Linkin Park albums. I gave her my Pink and Avril Lavigne cds. The Nsync given to me by Judy years previous during the Y2K years. I even gave her my burned copies of Simple Plan – which I had grown out of. For whatever reason I still liked Blink 182. So I kept those, She was happy to have all of this music I no longer liked.

My dad eventually drove her back home. And we never saw her again. Jodi married some cowboy and they moved up north. Her name is too common to look up on facebook with any accuracy. She might even be married now, a lot of people younger than me are married and have children. It's strange. And I don't even know how to spell her name. There are too many variables. So I will never know how her life went. I hope she is doing well. I had opened up to her being my sister during the end of my father's botched engagement. And we had been in the process of hashing the sister thing out which was inevitable and would have been a painful process, but it was cut short, and then she had left. I am at least glad that we left on good terms. It was a much better way to say goodbye.

There was this wart on the side of my pointer finger, and I had to get it removed. I definitely wasn't going to be seeing a doctor. My father would never have taken me to the doctor just for that. And it just kept growing. I would cut a piece of it off, and it would just get bigger. I I became paranoid that Zack would see this wart, and then he would reject me, thinking I looked like a witch. The idea was absurd really, but if I thought about it enough in the dark of my cold bedroom, it seemed plausible. I was getting tired of holding one of my fingers against it at all times to prevent it from showing.

There was still no light in my bedroom, but I had a space heater. So one dark cold night in my bedroom, by the light of a small dangerous space heater, with the help of my teeth and a dull kitchen knife, I dug deep into my finger. I didn't know about the nasty little virus-seeds that are in a wart. But I found them anyway, and though it is so gross I barely can stand to think of it, I bit them out, finding them with my tongue. They were sort of crunchy (gross because I can still feel them in my teeth if I think about it). I would use the knife whenever I needed it to move the flesh around. I was set on cutting into the meat of my finger if I had to. There was blood everywhere and a big deep crater of flesh was simply missing from the side of my finger, which burned like crazy but I found ways to ignore it. I bit those suckers out with my teeth as best I could. Eventually, I could feel nothing but the soft tissue underneath my skin of actual meat, not unlike the raw meat at the grocery store. I had dug out a complete hole through my skin. There was blood everywhere, all around my mouth, and I realized that the whole operation had hurt. But it worked. When my finger healed, there was no more wart, and I no longer had to worry about being seen as a haggish witch.

Ava had taken to wearing a top hat. And, she was obsessed with Jack White from The White Stripes. She was so obsessed with Jack White, that she started to look like him just a little bit, with the white skin, and the same wild dark shoulder length hair. She did what she could to still look feminine and resemble him. She did a great job at that. I had considered The White Stripes to be terrible at first. But Ava like them. Sarah liked them. I started feeling that maybe I had been wrong. I also had to admit that I was pretty fond of The Hardest Button to Button, despite really disliking Seven Nation Army.

I guess what bothered me so much about the White Stripes is that, while they have become a household name now, and have sort of played out and been copied a million times over by lesser bands doing car commercials, at the time, there was no popular bands that really compared to them. Garage rock was dead and gone, having died out in the late sixties as many of the counter culture garage rockers either died out, mellowed out or became so drug induced as to either get themselves locked up like Roky Erickson or become totally crazy and discredited like Sky Saxon of The Seeds, or Question Mark from ? And the Mysterians or even Kim Fowley to a lesser extent. Blues of course died by the hands of many white rock bands in the 60's and 70's who had kind of appropriated it and turned into a gag. And there was an element of Modernism to The White Stripes, a sort of golden ratio architexture to their image and their sound that I didn't see in pop music at all. They weren't trying to sell cheap feelings. And at first I didn't like that. There was no acting or sexual innuendo that I would have ordinarily subconsciously gravitated towards. Meg White didn't look like she belonged on the television at all. Neither one of them were necessarily seemed to adhere to what you would classically think of as gender roles (not that they were exactly pioneering anything either). They would stand out if they went into a grocery store, but it didn't feel like they were trying, like you could clearly see with Good Charlotte. There was less an opportunity for the media to market The White Stripes, and so they often talked about them like they were a gimmick, mostly because it didn't sell obvious sex and romance, obvious alcohol driven anger, or your typical break up. There was an emptiness in their music that made me feel uncomfortable. It was a sort of real kind of emptiness that you can feel within, it is loud and clamorous, but isn't trying to be anything, and yet seemed to encompass the world in a much broader way.

So I made my decision to buy a White Stripes album as soon as I had the money. Besides, Zack liked them, so I had to give them a second try.

I should probably take a step back and explain how Sarah was through all of this. So much of this time period for me is defined by Zack, Jason, my father and Ava that it's easy to forget Sarah's silent world that was of but in many ways not obviously apart of the machinery. Sarah seemed a little lost. She wasn't mean anymore – not at all. She was tired all the time, and overdressed. She seemed sort of phased out by Ava's overall personality, and by my love life which were both loud and dominating each in their own unique way. High school was definitely not what she had expected when we had first jumped into it a few years ago, coaching me on how to act coo and all that. Sarah had blossomed into a very pretty young lady with an hourglass figure and long hair, but nobody seemed to notice her somehow. She was always in the silent center to a certain extent, because her house was the go-to house, and she was the one who seemed to do the most listening of all of us. She was my favorite person to talk to still, but there wasn't much in her life that needed discussing.

She mostly sat at home and ate fudgsicles and drank about ten coca colas per day. Her mom complained about the expense of having to buy yet more 24 packs of coke, but she seemed to comply.  Sarah had her own computer and she would sit there and over and over again, draw angel wings, and practice shading all the individual feathers, really drawing excellent bone structures. She really had gotten this grasp of drawing movement. I was never good at making the human body look like it was jumping or flying. I can get the anatomy correct, but it all feels quite like posing in stillness. And she was getting to be really good at art, leaving me behind in a very big way for these long hours, days, weeks months alone sketching.

I on the other hand was too obsessed with Zack, and often times needed to write my feelings out more than draw so my time was not used like hers. And her obsession with the skateboarder Bam Margera had lead her to listening to this band that his brother was in called CKY. And that became her life. She just listened to CKY albums over and over again, an album called I think like, Infiltrate Destroy Rebuild or something. I grew to know all of the CKY albums myself from hundreds of hours of listening. It was never my favorite, but I in time came to be a fan as well. And then Bam was also obsessed with this other band called HIM a Finnish sort of romancy rock band that's hard to explain – sort of reminds me of the beginnings of anime shows with heavy guitars and such. The singer of that band's name was Ville Valo. He was a very pretty man. And Sarah became crazy obsessed with him. She started to look like him. Everything took on a sort of style that was emulated after HIM. Her room was just almost this HIM CKY room, with a small side for Nirvana and CCR. Sarah had joined this online forum on CKY's website. The forum became her world. She read everything talked to everyone. Almost everyone on that forum were the worst sorts of young men, trollish and mean spirited. They mostly just tore everything apart. They remind me of some of the creeps we have on reddit today.  I imagine she was very lonely. Because honestly, nobody really reached out to her at all.

For the final few weeks of FFA for that semester, Mrs. Gulke had us all bring cooked meat to school. It was part of the grade. I thought it was extremely offensive that I was being made to cook meat that I didn't morally think was right to eat. I would have brought chicken, but she assigned me with bacon. She was ready for a fight from me. She sort of raised her voice at me for not eating meat. It really seemed to agitate her. But I didn't give her any problems. I went along and cooked the bacon and took it to class. Nobody ate the cold bacon either. Jason grabbed the bacon at the end of class and put it all in his hoodie pocket and ate it throughout the day.  

My father was loosening up just a little bit towards me. I wouldn't say he was being nice to me, but by Christmas break, I was no longer eternally grounded, more in part to my father's inconsistent short attention span than to anything I had done. He had maybe given up trying to find dope on me. He had mastered the art of being a merciless prick and it was no longer any fun. So he was onto the next thing. My bedroom light was still not working though, and that didn't ever get fixed for the remainder of time I lived in that bedroom. I eventually bought a small inefficient lamp that gave off a blindingly unpleasant dimmness that was almost worse.

I think having spent some time around me, my dad might have felt like he wanted to contribute to my musical taste rather than snuff it out. Perhaps it reminded him of his own youthful days as a young man, buying The Who's 'Happy Jack' single or how he cherished his Disraeli Gears album by Cream, playing his vinyl till it was inevitably scratched beyond hope. I think upon hearing that Sarah and I liked listening to The Beatles and Led Zeppelin made him feel like he and I could connect on some level, and some rare kind of altruism was had towards me.

There was a Rolling Stones magazine at his work, that actually belonged to one of his coworkers, some fundamentalist Christian man with the hairiest arms my father claimed he had ever seen. Being that my father was entitled, and knowing that I was kind of a weird person who adored lists and music decided to take it home for me anyway, essentially stealing from the guy, but it was totally worth it because I read that magazine for several years. It was Rolling Stone's Top 500 albums, or something of that nature. It was one of those special collector's versions.

It also had an article in it that he wanted me to read about a musician that he had liked when was in his late teens by the name of Iggy Pop. I was skeptical because I thought the name Iggy Pop sounded stupid and my dad explained Iggy Pop like it was similar to Kiss which didn't appeal to me really, but I read it anyway. He sounded about 100X cooler than Good Charlotte, even on paper. I still had this notion that older music, with the exception of Led Zeppelin and The Beatles, was no good. But at the same time, I was being sort of persuaded otherwise. Reading through all these albums, I had to admit, made me want to listen to all of them, and actually open my mind up to it a little bit more. I was starting to sort of realize that older music meant just as much to the people who grew up on it as the music I listened to then meant to me now. I could just as easily have been born in another time, and a sixties Renee might have been listening to Pet Sounds. And deep down, I had always liked older music. I just never really did want to admit it to myself.

On one of the last days of school before winter break, Zack came out to me as I was sitting on the bench waiting for him, and he simply and suddenly held my hand and leaned on me and told me he loved me again. I still didn't know how to react. I know this sounds dumb, but there was a legitimate side to this situation that didn't feel right. He didn't ever really explain himself. I didn't understand how he could love me, or in what way or what capacity. Or was this all a joke. If I told him I loved him back would he get freaked out? He also had been someone who had teased me the year before on Melissa's behalf, and then it had turned into this when Melissa had moved up to Moscow. I was afraid to ask questions or to pry into what this all meant. Perhaps I didn't want to find out that the whole thing was a joke. Perhaps I didn't know how to form the thought in a language that would have been direct enough to ask him exactly what he meant, and instead chose to live in this blurry confused sense of blind hope because that was all I seemed to have. Instead I reacted on instinct, which was to run and hope he chased. When to stop running, I had no idea. If I stopped running, I was afraid the game would end. Despite my lack of certainty, I decided not to react this time, and I let him lean on me. My friends were just getting out of lunch, and they all saw. Ava and Sarah had a strange look on their face.

On the last day of that semester, Ava and Sarah kept asking for hugs from Zack. I didn't take this to be much. We all hugged Jason after all. Zack then asked if I could give him a hug. I hesitated and then went for it. I remember being very happy, but I remember little else other than feeling happy, feeling this really strange wonder that this person I was hugging was this living breathing soul that had this profound sense of life, and I was a person too. I know that sounds really naive and silly, but it honestly I still get that feeling when I hug people I love. I was so nervous that the act of hugging itself was as much as I could muster and I was flooded with all kinds of new awareness. He dropped his cd player and headphones, and my friends all said he did it not because of anything awkward. But sort of taken aback from the hug itself.

PART 32 - http://tinyurl.com/ycetanep

PART 31 - http://tinyurl.com/yae3o4rd

PART 30 - http://tinyurl.com/ybht9aul

PART 29 - http://tinyurl.com/ybfcr9j2

PART 28 - http://tinyurl.com/yagdlo47

PART 27 - http://tinyurl.com/ydcj5fgf

PART 26 - http://tinyurl.com/y73nvl73

PART 25 -  http://tinyurl.com/y6v6pgoj

PART 24 - http://tinyurl.com/ycak5d8r

PART 23 - http://tinyurl.com/yac6sk3g

PART 22 -  http://tinyurl.com/yat6cfnw

PART 21 -  http://tinyurl.com/y783egno

PART 20 - http://tinyurl.com/y8jskymt

PART 19 - http://tinyurl.com/rfhbms8

PART 18 - http://tinyurl.com/ycrznrwk

PART 17 - http://tinyurl.com/y77unlng

PART 16 - http://tinyurl.com/yadpsv8c

PART 15 - http://tinyurl.com/yb3lt6k5

PART 14 - http://tinyurl.com/yb4cfedq

PART 13 - http://tinyurl.com/yalanq9s

PART 12 - http://tinyurl.com/yc79mw94

PART 11 - http://tinyurl.com/yc9qhj84

PART 10 - http://tinyurl.com/yb734w24

PART 9 - http://tinyurl.com/yc2t6vfw  

PART 8 - http://tinyurl.com/ybl37utq

PART 7 - http://tinyurl.com/ybvo283g

PART 6 - http://tinyurl.com/kbc9dwu

PART 5 - http://tinyurl.com/msnz4am

PART 4 - http://tinyurl.com/k9x8esg

PART 3 - http://tinyurl.com/mwp9atx

PART 2 - http://tinyurl.com/lbt6xq2

PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

[kellysbookblog]

Love, Again by L.P. Dover Now Released!!

MY Goodreads Review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2754926681?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1

My Amazon Review: TBD Coming Soon

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42359070-love-again

Blurb:

Sometimes all you need is a second chance ...

Aubrey Reynolds is a small-town girl who’s made it big.

A successful Hollywood director, Aubrey doesn’t have time to linger on what could have been.

But when a routine blood test comes back with a false positive, she decides to take some time off to do the things she’s always wanted to do: taste the famous chocolate chip cookies at the Minnesota State Fair, hike the Grand Teton National Park, scuba dive in the Caribbean.

But after Aubrey admits to herself what she’s really missing, she heads back home to Dusty Valley, Oklahoma . . . and the man she left behind.

Cole Haywood is a small-town fireman and that’s just fine with him.

Sure, when the love of his life left their hometown to chase her dreams he was heartbroken and—he’ll admit—damn mad.

But Cole would have never forgiven himself if he had held Aubrey back from success.

So the last thing he expects after all these years is to walk into his favorite bar one night and find the girl he’s always loved—there—looking for him.

Maybe now’s the time to make his dreams come true.

Purchase links:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2St94Sf

B&N: http://bit.ly/2zqfRAp

iBooks: https://apple.co/2r6Mnmt

Kobo: http://bit.ly/2Rj0PDm

Google Play: http://bit.ly/2SD7wV3

Author Bio:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author L. P. Dover is a southern belle living in North Carolina with her husband and two beautiful girls. Before she began her literary journey she worked in periodontics, enjoying the wonderment of dental surgeries.

She loves to write, but she also loves to play golf, go on mountain hikes, and has a passion for singing. Her youngest daughter, who she’s also written a children’s book with, expects a concert each and every night before bedtime, usually Christmas carols.

Dover has written countless novels in several different genres, including a children’s book with her youngest daughter, but her favorite to write is romantic suspense. However, she has found a new passion in romantic comedy, especially involving sexy golfers. Who knew the sport could be so dirty and fun to write about.

Social  Media Links:

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/lpdover

Website- http://www.lpdover.com/

Twitter- https://twitter.com/LPDover

Goodreads- http://bit.ly/2w4zY2K

Amazon- http://amzn.to/2eDwygT

Pinterest - http://www.pinterest.com/LPDover/

Google +: https://plus.google.com/+LPDover/posts

Email: authorlpdover@gmail.com

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/EbduX

Bookbub:  http://bit.ly/2eXg0o2

Reader Group: http://bit.ly/2hlE3vs

Excerpt:

We pulled up to Tornado Alley bar, and Cole’s truck was there along with a dozen others. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked, glancing around at all the cars. “There’s a lot of people here.”

Bennett parked his truck and pulled out the key. “Yep. A lot of our high school buddies will be in there. They’ll be excited to see the famous movie director, Aubrey Reynolds.” He winked, and it gave me hope. If I could get him on my side, I had to believe I could convince Cole too. He reached over and opened my door. “If you don’t want to go in there with everyone, I’ll bring him out.”

Hands shaking, I nodded as my whole body started to tremble with nerves. “That sounds better. I don’t want to go in there just yet.”

Bennett sighed. “All right. I’ll bring him out.”

He got out of the truck and disappeared inside. Slowly, I exited the truck and walked toward the steps. My legs felt so heavy I doubted I could even climb up them. This was it. It was the moment I’d been dreading, yet looking forward to. I’d dreamed about the time I’d see Cole again, face to face. I already knew it wouldn’t be an easy meeting, especially considering how Bennett’s first encounter with me was.

Everything moved in slow motion as I waited for Cole to come outside. I stood at the bottom of the steps, feeling more vulnerable with each passing second. What if he saw me and then turned right back around? Getting him to hear me out wasn’t going to be easy.

“Oh my God, I can’t do this.” Heart racing out of control, I dashed to the side of the building. I peeked my head around the corner just as the door opened and Cole stepped out. I flattened myself against the wall so he couldn’t see me, and I was almost certain he’d hear me hyperventilating.

“What exactly did you want me to see?” Cole asked, laughing at Bennett. It was clear he’d had a couple of drinks already. “There’s nothing out here.” Hearing his voice brought up all sorts of emotions inside me. I’d missed him so much.

Bennett huffed, most likely thinking I ran off. “Never mind, brother. My mistake.”

Cole chuckled. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.”

I jumped out from beside the building, and Bennett stopped. “Wait,” I called out. Cole had his back to me, but he froze and turned around slowly. The second our eyes locked, nothing else existed. It was what I’d secretly hoped for. He might hate me, but there was no denying the bond we had. I felt the spark between us even now.

[river0vixen-blog]

Riverdale Chapter/Episode 8: My Thoughts.

(Blog has moved to river0vixens)

Note: I’ll be completely honest, I only discovered Riverdale about a week into the hiatus, so I have been frantically watching and re-watching everything to get up to date and develop my own theories. So this is the first time I have watched a new episode as it aired (in Australia). —-

First thought is pretty simple:

I do not trust anyone on this show. The writers have done an amazing job of keeping everything very vague and open-ended. Almost too good though. It has very much left me a little jaded about the motives of every single character.

I don’t trust Polly. She has been presented as the innocent girl who got pregnant and sent away. The problem is, she has so heavily been represented as a victim in all of this, that I don’t believe her to be one. At least, not to the extent that she has been made out to be. She was given a choice between Thorn Hill and home, and in my mind, regardless of anything I don’t think her choice was for the better of her baby. I feel like she has an ulterior motive.

Alice Cooper on the other hand has definitely started to win my favour. Based on my own distrust for what we’re being shown, I had suspected for a while that she was less a matriarch and more a figurehead for a much greater darkness, and Chapter 8 really cemented that for me. Seeing her defend her daughter and herself, and kick out Hal was a big deal. I don’t like that she got physical though. I don’t want to be a social justice warrior, but I really can’t stand representations of domestic violence where there don’t need to be any. It’s good to see her getting some character development, and being humanised, but not at the expense of straight up assault.

I have no sympathy left for F.P. I could write a novel on the reasons why, but I feel like this episode explains it well enough for me. I’m especially not okay with what he’s doing with Joaquin and Kevin. Again, not wanting to come across as an SJW, but honestly being gay is hard enough. Being manipulated by it is just straight up shitty. I doubt that Joaquin’s hesitation is sincere though. I don’t trust them at all.

I don’t think for one second that I could ever believe the motives of the Blossom clan to be anything less than self-serving. They’ve done nothing to make me believe that they could be anything more than plain old evil. There’s not a shred of heart or soul in that family and I don’t think I could possibly be convinced otherwise.

Hiram, my god. Allegedly he has sabotaged his own build for the fact that he learned of Fred and Hermione’s infidelity. F.P. Asked the question “Who ratted you out.” The obvious answer is of course, Veronica. She knew, and Hermione betrayed her. Which of course means it wasn’t her. We’re not looking at a case of Occam’s razor, that’s not how the show works, and they know that we’re not going to suspect Veronica for a second. My bet is either on Hermione herself coming clean, or the Blossoms operating a takedown, but both options seem a little too much of a stretch, even by Riverdale standards.

The episode alluded to two possible culprits, potentially a third, as far as Jason Blossom’s killer is concerned. F.P. Be it the trigger man, or at the very least responsible for someone from the serpents, or Alice Cooper with her claim that she and Hal both know what she’s capable of by now. The third being Hal himself due to his incendiary reaction to Polly getting pregnant. Again though, by Riverdale standards, they seem TOO obvious. Even a tenuous link is starting to be too obvious now though. I think they have done such an incredible job of writing a genuine mystery that it’s impossible to trust your own theories as well as those that they are spoon feeding you. I want for the killer to come out of the subtleties of the show, that seems to be out of left field, but after they’re revealed, it’s actually reasonable to assume, and almost like a massive “oh shit, duh”. I doubt that’s how it would go down though.

For me, they’re relying a little too heavy on a false narrative and red herrings. They’ve become too good at slight of hand and it’s beginning to get a little bit exhausting. I’d like to see the characters actually get some real answers, because if the season finale doesn’t reveal the truth about Jason Blossom’s murder I think it’s going to grow tired and boring very quickly. There’s only so far you can take the suspense of this particular storyline before it loses too much touch with reality.

Archie still hasn’t redeemed himself in my mind, either. I feel like a single heart-to-heart with his dad and offering to help out on the job, or going to the bar to get answers isn’t going to redeem how much of a complete pubic hair he has been so far, between being so self-involved he managed to be completely oblivious to Betty’s issues, making out with Veronica the night Betty told him about her feelings, the Grundy thing, the taking Betty for granted things and the general Archiness of himself, I’m really struggling to have any kind of faith in the character at all.

I’m assuming that Jason’s killer’s identity is going to generate a whole new mystery to solve for the next season, but at the same time I think the characters need an episode or two next season where they don’t face drama to this scale. I would like to see them just living their lives before shit inevitably hits the fan.

I saw a post recently that I agree with whole-heartedly and I’ll retroactively link it here if I can find it, but it basically said that they want Bughead to be the anchor couple and I agree with that. We need an anchor couple, otherwise Archie’s drama is going to lose its value fast.

I have high hopes for this show going forward, and I REALLY don’t want to be let down.