#esp when people like their older ones and the other party likes the new ones and their having a full on brawl

[lip-rings-and-quiffs]

Istg 5sos fans are to hard to please 💀

[elix8r]

The Frat Diaries Glossary (heads up: I realized while writing that i’m using a lot of lingo that not everyone might be familiar so this should help you out with understanding everything and the story will make more sense esp if you’re not already familiar with Greek life and also this is all based on my personal experiences so it might be different at each school):

Rush: a process where prospective sorority and fraternity members and the actual sororities and fraternities meet each other and through this they pick out the people that they want in their organization. Sorority rush (recruitment) is much more of an organized event where PNMs come weeks before school actually start to rush. They have specified schedules that let them know which sororities to meet. This process is so intricate lmao I literally thought I was dying when I went through it cause everyday I had to wake up at like 5am to get ready and got back to my dorm at like 8pm. Each day the amount of sororities you can get back lessen until the last day where you are left with your top two and you choose from there. Fraternity rush is much more of a laidback event that also happens before school starts. Fraternity rush is more about who you know and connections. Many start inviting potential members over the summer to their houses to see if they vibe well with everyone else. Then during the official week of rush, frats will hold events or dinners that are invite only and from there they narrow their choices before handing out bids. 

PNM: potential new member 

Pledge: A non-initiated member of a fraternity. He isn’t considered a full-fledged member and this is usually where the “hazing” happens and a good chunk of them are first years

Chapter: a weekly mandatory meeting held at the sorority house where members come and learn about upcoming events and etc.

Initiation: a very very secretive ceremony that is different for every organization but this is where the new members are officially indoctrinated into being a member of the sorority or fraternity. It’s usually really formal (almost cult-like with coordinated dress code, usually long white dresses) and a big deal. 

Bid: the official invitation you receive from the sorority or fraternity to join them 

Bid day: an important day at the end of rush week where new members run home (sometimes literally) and the sororities throw huge celebrations to celebrate the new members that have received a bid from them 

GBig/Big/little: a big is usually an older member of your organization that is a mentor figure that basically takes you under their wing and helps you adjust to your life in Greek. While not always, these relationships are usually one that develops to an actual older sister/younger sister situation. Your GBig would be the big of your big and all together you would refer to everyone in your group as a family and the little would be the new member

Tailgate: pre-game for a big sports game and it usually involves lots of day drinking, barbecuing, yard games, and socializing 

Darty: day-party

Formal/Semi-formal: kinda like college prom for fraternities and sororities. Usually held in like some city (New Orleans) or a special place and it’s really fun as you’re probably gonna be drunk at it

Game day pin/stickers: Im not sure that this is a thing outside of the South but because it is a thing everyone has on gamedays i’m going to add it. It’s like pins or stickers that usually showcases your sorority’s support for your school. Pins are worn by the members (and maybe parents or significant others as they aren’t handed out in bulks like the stickers are so if you see someone who isn’t in that sorority wearing a pin, then they probably have a close relationship with whoever gave it to them) and stickers are put on just anyone who wants one. Click this link for some examples. 

Letters: the Greek letters for you fraternity or sorority. For example the two main organizations in this story is Epsilon Nu (EN) and Alpha Epsilon Sigma (AEΣ). Many Greek members will be seen sporting their letters on their shirts, hats, computers, backpacks, water bottles, etc.

Dues: how much you pay the organization and it usually covers the cost for the house, meals, membership, etc. 

Date Party/Socials/Mixer: social events that usually have a theme or is held with other fraternities. I’ve been to like My-tie, ski lodge, Hawaiian luau, country-club, etc and they’re just a real fun time to socialize and spend time with your fellow sisters

Philanthropy: Usually each organization has a specific charity or awareness they raise money for (ZTA raises breast cancer awareness and Tri-Delt raises money for St. Jude) and there will also be drives or events held to raise money or volunteer

Executive Board: aka exec is the leadership council for your organization. For example: President, VP of Recruitment, Standards chair, etc.

Standards: This is like HR or risk management. This is the board that makes sure the girls follow rules and policies and if they don’t, then you will be called to standards and given consequences based on what you did wrong. Example: I got fined for talking to a PNM who was a friend of mine outside of rush during recruitment week.

Author’s Note: I might add more as I write but seriously if you have any questions do not hesitate to send them my way and i will be more than happy to do my best to try to explain things further also I have made my mind to further expand this universe and create stories with some of the other members! so look out for those in the near future! 

[wooahaes]

skz versions PLEASE

while im waiting for pasta sauce to thicken up a lil...

my immediate thought for 'older brothers best friend' is aussie bros being actual (adopted) aussie bros. reader is chris's best friend and felix is in love with them but has 0 idea how to talk abt it. where like... the seokmin-chan dynamic was "i'm worried abt how seokmin will respond :(", the chris-felix dynamic is "chris can never find out because he has so much dirt on me and i'll never live"

i like the idea that reader n chris meet in high school and just click together rly well lol and felix starts crushing on them after reader shows up to a swim meet a few years later while felix is a freshman. reader's cheering on chris and felix because they wanna be supportive and reader hugs felix afterward and he's like omg (flustered). he doesn't act on it for a while because he thinks the crush will go away, esp after reader goes abroad for school, and then they come back and felix's crush comes back in full force. all of his friends (the rest of the 00z + jeongin) know the lore by now and have been sworn to silence. there's just some sort of rekindling of things, both have matured a bit, and its kind of a "im getting to know you again and oops we're falling in love" while reader and felix scramble to keep their relationship hidden from chris (bc reader, like felix, also knows how much dirt chris has on them. neither part of this relationship will get to live with chris around)

i like to imagine that eventually it leads to a big fight because i live for the drama in fiction lol where chris finds out and he's hurt because two of the people he loves most have been hiding this from him and he feels horrible because why wouldnt they trust him??? reader calls things off with felix because they feel guilty for hurting him, felix is upset and feels guilty for hurting chris as well, and the three start to avoid one another fully after the fallout. it 100% takes the rest of their friends to trick them all into the same room and being like 'ok work this shit out because ur depressing us.' they work things out, probs w chris admitting he never wanted them to hide their relationship and he def didn't want them to break up as a result, he just wishes they had talked to him, etc. and they work things out and happy ever after :)

sorry u can tell i was thinking abt this while i was cooking sdkfhdsf

fake dating but the guy needs it instead of the reader... hmm..... god, who is the funniest option for fake dating.... my heart says seungmin if im honest because like. he feels like the type who's like "i would never get myself into that situation"

and then he turns around to reader and hes like "i need you to pretend to date me. don't ask questions." and reader (his friend and coworker) is like. uh. my guy, i kind of have to ask questions rn. and seungmin starts telling this long story about how he saw his ex out in public and they're dating someone new and they were kind of a shitty person when they dated and turns out they're still shitty bc they saw the chance to put seungmin down because ohh ur not dating anyone? of course ur not :) and hes like ACTUALLY I AM (pulls up picture of him and reader when they were hanging out) they're hotter than you :) and now he's invited to some party that he knows his ex will be at and he needs reader to go with him. readers like whats in it for me tho other than showing up ur bitchy ex. and seungmins like idk ill cover one of ur shifts.

thats not enough and he ends up promising to take u out for whatever food afterward and covering one of ur shifts as soon as u need it (barring him having any personal emergencies/being physically unable to cover it). reader is 100% the one who kisses seungmin's cheek while at the party...

and probably also the one who yanks seungmin in to make out with him in a bedroom when they hear seungmin's ex wandering around for him. they absolutely pull away and are fine right after its all over. the two probs keep up the fake dating for a while w the PDA becoming more and more common until seungmin just looks up one day and hes like

holy fuck. we're just like... actually dating now arent we.

they r idiots together <3 mwah mwah

[asukaskerian]

Reread cherry wine recently and I can’t remember what theories I had about the older generations whether it’s senju mother or Yoritomo other then o was at least close to some spoiler lol

But I do remember and really enjoyed not just the court intrigue but also how Tobirama interacts with the young girl Hanazura and recalling that for the end of the last chapter.you built a really big world and even people who are not the protagonist feel really fully fleshed out and their own persons with their own lives, personalities and anxieties. Esp the Uzumaki who are just present in memories, remembered letters or references by the senju brothers. Mito’s siblings esp her twin sound so funny and clever esp the the part where they agree with Hashirama about trusting people but also a joke about using it for your own gains as a trick lol. Very far away from the village but I feel like it gives them this good presence and shows how they’ll fit into the senju clan and the lives everyone has outside of the plot or feud. The senju and Uchiha clans feel very full and real places people (including the protagonists) spend decades living in and being family and fighters in with friendships, rivalries and people they just can’t figure out how to work with even when they want the same things.

Happy new year!

aaaaaahh #._.# thank you so much.

the naruto world is so FULL of background people doing background things, except in this time period! i gotta fill it up so it doesn't feel like the four guys + mito and maybe touka and hikaku are the only real people there. but oh man, the constant "am i introducing too many ocs. they're background filler, why do i know their favorite food and family dynamics" fretting. XD; it's a full capital and two full clans and it'll be a full village eventually...

hanazura should be popping up next chapter! in that scene i'm ... suposed to be writing right now. <_<;;

i kinda felt like accidentally i had gone with a cliche "young teenage girl is cheeky and charming" too often and failed to differentiate several OCs because inuzuka girl that tobi met is like that! and young girl that madara meets at the tea party is like that! and the hagoromo nieces.. yeah, no, THEY are faking it because they think madara is into that. now i'm busy differentiating inuzuka girl and the other one. one of them has significantly better manners to start with. XD

[lanaevyssmoved]

hi fray bg3 you are one of the only people i trust with bg3. do you have any headcanon ages or heights for the main camp group (+ any extras u are particularly fond of). thank u hugs and kisses

im the worst person because im a day late to this. but yes. i will provide.. the headcanons

now these arent all like solid. im chill. these are liquidy headcanons that may change and be influenced. i would love to hear counter arguments in the replies also hehe

im doing lads first and then lasses for no reason other than im gale insane

gale

age - 45-55, i can entertain 30s if i have to but it's mostly just me being polite. i can also take him older because i fully believe he was chosen of mystra long enough for it to effect his aging. i like to think morena his mother is older than most people put her at (i think of her around her 80s - i love the idea of tara being a 'grandma' figure to gale and she's having her old lady parties with his mum). and that gives me playing room for age to be older, but not necessarily look as old as i put him at. but also i don't think gale's physical appearance is even that help, my ex who was 32 looked older than gale, my ex who was 55 looked younger than gale. my mother looks younger at gale at 59. so !!! i just like to play with middle aged hence the 10 year gap in my headcanon. i also think gale would lie about his age. ALSO!! he's a fucking wizard if you're not fucking about with a wizards age (and gender and sexuality) what are you doing. but also yes if you tell me you think gale is 37 or 38 i will nod and say that's ok. i can roll with that

height - i can put him anywhere from like 5'7" to 5'9"... i can't see him being taller. i just can't. afhiri is also 5'0" so like i gotta be realistic i don't want him to be a fucking tree she needs to climb. he still kind of is like this like i'm being KIND to the man i'm adding inches out of PITY. nah ok so i use the shorter height mod to make afhiri's model 5'0" under the assumption it's 5'7" by default, so when putting afhiri and gale next to each other with the mod enabled, he's roughly around 5'7" and 5'9", give or take because flat services are deceiving in this here video game....... 5'7" feels good though. feels organic.

wyll

age - bro confirms it i don't really have to say anything here. he's 24

height - i wanna give him a respectable 5'10" honestly. no real movement needed it just feels right. he's defo taller than gale for sure but more just feels uncomfortable to me.... but he definitely feels Taller....

astarion

age - 263.. this is just his age in idle champions. i dont fucking know

height - i think hes the smallest of the LadsTM i'm putting him around 5'5" - 5'6". barely anyone, if anyone, will agree with me on this. it's okay if you don't. if you think he's taller, i'll take his knees so i'm validated

halsin

age - once again canon aged at 350

height - well. i'm saying 6'4" - 6'5" i don't have much more to say on this. just feels correct. esp with new wood elf edition lore where "max height" for one is about 6'0" so he has to be big to 6'0". but i don't see it being more than this

minsc

age - well minsc age is weird but i assume he was like 40ish when he was frozen. or late 30s. i reallyyy enjoy the idea of him being so stupid but being at the age where society expects you to be smart. its beautiful to me. like poetry

height - bro is an easy 6'0"-6'1". this is absolutely not for lusty galexminsc reasons. it might be. ok it is. but also its right yknow? its right. im right. moving on

lae'zel

age - she's 22 in idle champs and i also enjoy the idea of her being the youngest in the group but also if she is 22. that means afhiri is older than lae. and i think that could be the cause of some friction... so yeah i can accept 22.

height - ok so. gith are typically very tall. you're gonna see the majority of gith around 6'0" to 7'0". sometimes they can be shorter than 6'0" but that's like rare. ur like insulted for being that small. you the RUNT egg. but i don't see lae'zel being so tall. i can see her being runty. i also talked this over with a friend and she agreed on runty egg. 5'9"-5'10" not entirely runty egg but.. still needs to over compensate for not being usual gith sized.

YEAH BABY GIVE THAT GITHYANKI A COMPLEX OR TWO!!!!!!!!! sorry lae ur dealing with ur young age AND ur small height

shadowheart

age - ive always seen shadowheart as young. she gives such intense teenage girl vibes sometimes like i just. shes not emotionally matured man. shes such a high school bitch when she wants to be. HOWEVER... she is canonically older than 40 because there are 40 years of documents on her life from when she was already giving up memories to shar. however it could just be all her life documented from the second she was taken by sharrans when she was a child. so shadowheart anywhere from like 50-60 years old. ish

height - hmmm around 5'4" - 5'5" ... average shart. :) feels organic. i once again have little to say

karlach

age - soo i've been thinking of this more recently and i change my mind on my original hc for her height. so now i think she was likely about 18 or 19 when she was sold to zariel and spent 10 years there so i'm thinking she's like 28 or 29 ^_^

height - 6'2". i feel pretty solid on this!! mostly because i'm 5'2" and i dated someone who was 6'2" and that height difference just feels Right for how much taller i think karlach would be to me

minthara

age - ouughgh we know she's over 200 years old but i think close to 200 is just too young for how she is. so i'm gonna say 300-400 but i'm more inclined to say she's closer to 400 than not. i think she's "middle-aged" ish for a drow and this is the best i got. drow experts feel free to chime in as long as u don't try to make her young. if u do that i'll eat u

height - well this made me find out that drow are a short race. 4'7" to 5'5" in height. so minthara simply has to be short. i assume she wears heels and stands on boxes to be taller because she likes to feel tall. but she's uh. she's small. i'm gonna say like 5'3" to 5'4". this is So funny to me

jaheira

age - about 150, but could be older! i don't see it being younger. bless someone on reddit writing this for me so i can just copy and paste but..... she says she's a 'small child' during the year of the bright blade so:

1347 DR = Year of the Bright Blade 1368 DR = BG1 1492 DR = BG3 124 years passed between the first and third games. 145 years passed since Year of the Bright Blade. A small child should be about 5 years +/- few years. Therefore, her age should be about 150 years.

thank you random reddit user!

height - 5'5" or 5'6" mostly going by my minsc headcanon and how their height difference looks to me in their cutscene together hehe.........

oh you said any extras i'm fond of.... i do not have the energy to even ATTEMPT to illithid right now so i'm gonna do it for barcus for fun . <3

barcus

age - i'm gonna say my boy is like. in his 60s-70s. :)

height - about 3'4" ish. averageyish gnome height. :)

i like barcus he's so divorced. he and gale are the most divorced men in baldurs gate 3. and theyre going to kiss. anyway

[wheelerthefroghere]

Hello, I love ur portrayal of ST characters in ur fics so I had a question on if u had HCs if any characters can cook/bake? Or like to for that matter.

I ask bc I feel like if Mike had the opportunity to learn, he'd like it. Idk if he cooks with his mom (so many questions about the wheeler household), but he puts so much effort into his campaigns, and he seems to like feeling needed/doing things for people. And I don't know if he'd want to cook for those specific reasons, but I think he'd come to enjoy it, esp if he does a good job.

Thoughts? And thank you!!

Thank you! I have a few headcanons for this actually.

Mike:

First of all, I agree with everything you said about him. If you take the books as canon (I don’t put much weight on them personally), Mike helps his mom bake cupcakes for his friends in Lucas On The Line. So, he’s probably had to help her more than one time. I could totally see him wanting to bake things though. To me, he seems like the kind of person that’s most happy when he can make other people happy. But I also think he’d be insecure about his skills or worried about being teased about it. So, my headcanon would be that he sometimes bakes with his mom and Holly, and he’ll bring some for his friends, telling them that “Holly made these.” Eventually, the Party would catch on, but I think it would be a cute little secret of his for a while. 

I don’t think Mike would get into cooking until he’s older, but I think he’d be all over that too. I can picture him calling Karen for different recipes and asking her basic questions about how to cook. Mainly because he’d want to dote on Will as much as possible. 

Will: 

Joyce is a bad cook, right? Am I losing my mind, or is that a thing? Anyway, assuming that’s true, I kind of like the idea of Will being a bad cook too. I don’t see cooking/baking as one of his hobbies, but I think he’d help out in the kitchen from time to time (and accidentally add too much salt or something). But, once he and Mike are together, Will wouldn’t want to make Mike handle all of the cooking on his own. So, that’s when he’d make it his mission to improve. While he does this, Mike would say everything tastes amazing because he’s just happy to get “gifts” from Will. But Will would know from one taste when something’s bad. 

El: 

Good or bad, I think El would enjoy cooking and baking a lot. Because she didn’t have a lot of food freedom at the lab or exposure to different types of food, she’d love to experiment in the kitchen. I like the idea of her not being the best judge of what turns out okay. She’s just happy to try new things and usually loves them no matter what. She’d be a wild card. 

Jonathan: 

Because Joyce was always busy working and not the best of cooks herself, Jonathan had to step up and take care of meals most of the time. It started out as a necessity for him, but I think he eventually learned to enjoy it. He likes having responsibilities and taking care of others. Plus, it’s the opposite of what Lonnie would do, so that makes it all the better.

Nancy: 

I don’t think Nancy would want to cook or bake at all. Unlike Mike and Holly (who both would enjoy it imo), she’s never been interested. Even as a kid, she didn’t want to help in the kitchen. Chalk it up to Nancy trying to step out of gender role stereotypes. It would be okay because if she ends up with Jonathan or Steve, they’d probably be more than willing to cook for her. 

Erica: 

She would 110% have an Easy Bake Oven growing up and she’d use it all of the time. Baking is especially something Erica would enjoy. 

Lucas: 

I don’t think Lucas would be particularly interested in cooking or baking, but I think he would have had to help in the kitchen sometimes. If not, Erica would force him into baking with her. 

Hopper: 

I think Hopper can cook okay, but I think he only puts in effort when other people are involved. For example, when he was living alone, I think he would have lived on a more college student sort of diet. Lots of microwave meals basically. He just didn’t seem to take care of himself too well. But once El came along, he would spend more time cooking for both of them. Same for when/if he moves in with Joyce. 

There! Those are my main thoughts on who would/wouldn’t cook.

[dokiyeom]

mmmm maybe ill decide to watch it too if i have the time 😋😋 but rn i first need to finish watching my series 😭 im currently watching crash landing on u because im a huge kdrama fan and at the sane time im watching criminal minds .. which has 16 seasons .. IM ON S6 AND I ONLY STARTED LIKE A MONTH AGO

i love love LOVE these groups sm they are all on my stanlist 😞 ATEEZ IS IS SO GOOD i love them sm i have their album treasure ep fin all to action white ver and it's my fav of theirs and one of my fav of the many albums i own 😭 that's so cute i love it when friends have the same interests yk like my friend has been a kpop fan since 2017? and she likes a lot of older and 3rd gen groups so thanks to her im more familiar with those & at the same time im getting her into svt 🥳 JEONGHAN AND JOSHUA BIASED FRIEND HELLO THATS SO wow

THE LAB??? just googled a bit and wow that's just amazing like im even proud of ur friends without knowing them 😭 YAYAY I GET WHAT U MEANNN writing is imo v difficult to do as a job yk but it's so nice that ur into those artistic things like writing and dance .. 😲

YAYYAYAYA we should talk more then 😋😋 i LOVE interacting with people and ur so interesting to talk to???

ps. i only watched s1 & s2 but read tumblr fics for all the schools like i got to know the other characters through tumblr && DEFFO INARIZAKI OMGG i loved the miya twins esp osamu i even have a nendoroid of him and kita & suna <3 i also love iwaizumi bokuto kenma daichi suga & ushi i have a huge soft spot for the big beefy awkward ones and im absolutely in love with all the aged up characters from msby & schweiden adlers

omg 16 seasons,, i was aware that criminal minds has been running for a while,, but i had no clue they had that many seasons :00 AND HELLO UR ALR ON S6 AFTER A MONTH ?? but also oo do u have any kdrama recs ?

and aagg omg wait vv slay who r ur biases for these groups :000 and yes !!! tbh being into similar groups as them && being able to share like,, ig the things we’re excited abt (cbs, pcs, etc) is so so nice && overall a decent amount of my friends r into kpop !! like bc of that,, my friends r making pcs of each other && can blast kpop during car rides or house parties which is soso nice :D

also i’m glad !!! ugh everyone on the lab r such amazing dancers && their 2018 arena la performance is one of my fav sets :D && ugh i love being into art,, like i love drawing, writing, dancing, etc,,, but dori i also. vv much want to make money,,, like i wish i was into stem so i could b proficient in compsci && make that tech money but,,, i’m unfortunately one of those liberal arts/art kids <//3

AND AGH THANK U !! i love talking to u soso much && inarizaki/osamu !!!! vv slay personally i love nekoma && inarizaki ++ kuroo, akaashi, suna, iwa && osamu :D AND YES !! the miya twins. r so fantastic. like tbh s4 fell a little flat in terms of humor && the new animation style threw me for a loop,, but i think the inarizaki match was so vv interesting && s3 is super worth watching !!! s2 will always b a personal fav tho for the training camp arc :D

[ifmywishescametrue]

omg now im jealous about all of the breaking up and making up stories!!! they're all so wonderful but is it okay to ask for a steve/tony one? i know you've made one inspired by ts (amazing) and this time, maybe they meet/bump in a coffee shop? idk angst potential but also hopeful/happy ending aahhh. your stories are amazing esp ivy!!! thank you! <3

thank you so much!! it ended up being more cute than angsty, but I hope you like it!

Steve's pencil drifts idly across the page of his sketchbook with no end vision in mind. He's killing time until Nat shows up, which could be anywhere between the next five minutes and the next two hours with her vague text that simply said running late. When he looks up to reach for his near empty coffee cup, he freezes with his hand in the middle of the air.

At first he thinks it might not even actually be him. Tony's hair was never quite this well styled before, always a tangled mop on his head that sometimes fell into his eyes. Steve used to spend hours sometimes running his fingers through those wild curls while Tony slept on his chest. It's been tamed since then, cut shorter and held into place by some type of product. The facial hair is new, too. He remembers a time when it would always come in patchy and uneven, and Tony would pout as he shaved away the latest attempt at looking older than he was. The eighteen year old boy in oversized hoodies and stained jeans he met years ago has been replaced by a man in a well-pressed, expensive looking suit with a leather briefcase, like he just stepped out of a boardroom a minute ago. From what Steve has read about his life since they broke up, he probably did.

Steve stares without fully meaning to and for much longer than he would have if it was intentional. He watches him order his drink and smiles when the barista’s eyes widen at what he knows is an overly complicated order, wondering if Tony ever did finish his quest to find that perfect combination of syrup flavors, sugar, and cream that only he would ever like.

He catches the double take when Tony notices him there, right as he’s taking his first sip of the iced drink, and the cough when he chokes on it is anything but subtle. Steve looks away with red cheeks and tries to pretend he wasn’t staring, but it’s a futile effort. He can’t say he minds, though. Not when it means Tony walks over to him and unceremoniously drops himself into the chair across from him.

His mouth forms a familiar smirk, and he says, “You seem to have a staring problem, Rogers.”

Suddenly, Steve is nineteen again, falling hopelessly in love with the boy in his introductory chemistry class. It felt sort of like fate at first when they were paired together for the final project, and Steve remembers thinking that his chances were shot to hell when Tony sat down next to him and said those exact words. He never was any good at being discreet.

Back then, for that first time, all he could manage was a stuttered apology in response. But eventually it became their thing. Something just for them that no one else could ever understand. When Steve would watch him from across the room at parties, because he knew how much Tony loved having his eyes on him, and Tony would saunter over with that same smirk and those same words, there was only ever one reply.

“Guess I just really like what I see,” Steve says, and Tony’s face splits into a grin that matches Steve’s own. He’s still beautiful, even if it’s different now. Less softness to his appearance and more defined edges and sharp lines, but heart stoppingly beautiful nonetheless. He doesn’t quite say as much, but he does comment, “You do look good, by the way. Different, but good.”

Tony’s smile softens into another familiar one. It’s his smile for compliments, when he’s thinking self-deprecating thoughts that he won’t voice. Instead he’ll turn the attention back around, shifting the spotlight.

“So do you. The good part, but not really the different part.”

Steve runs a hand through his hair, contemplating if not looking different contributes to the good or not. He should look different somehow, shouldn’t he? After two and a half years not seeing each other in person and what feels like a lifetime’s worth of heartbreak in between then and now, he should look as changed as he feels. As changed as Tony looks now, like he’s someone new entirely. He’s pretty sure the t-shirt he’s wearing now is one he owned back then.

“Thanks,” Steve says anyway, for lack of anything better.

Just before it has the chance to fall into awkward silence, Tony says, “I didn’t know you were in New York these days. I would’ve called or something if I’d known.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Would you have?”

“I don’t know, maybe. I would’ve thought about it, at least. You know, stalked you online, found your number, dialed and hung up a few times.”

Steve laughs, fiddling with the straw wrapper from earlier to give himself something to look at other than Tony. “I moved back last year. Thought about calling, but I figured you were busy. Didn’t want to waste your time.”

It’s only a partial truth. He did think about calling when he came to Brooklyn after his year-long internship in London ended, but he didn’t want to know what Tony would say if he did. If he would have some sort of transparent excuse to avoid seeing him or if it would be an outright rejection.

“I would’ve made time for you,” Tony says, so painfully sincere that Steve has to look up again to meet his eyes.

He wonders if Tony is thinking of that last fight, if it’s a purposeful or coincidental reference to some of what Steve said. It was by far the worst fight they’d ever had, all over the phone with an ocean between them and so many things that Steve still wishes he could take back. Accusations flew on both sides until the entire thing was blown so completely out of proportion, yet impossible to reel back in. He should have just hung up the phone before it went that far. Before he could tell Tony that he always felt unimportant compared to everything else in his life, which was sometimes true but entirely unfair. Before Tony could say that Steve talked about Peggy in the same way he used to talk about him, and he didn’t have to finish the thought for Steve to understand the implication.

“Are we talking about it?” Steve asks.

Tony shrugs, feigning casual, but just the corner of his lip is between his teeth in that way that means he’s nervous and trying to hide it. “I guess that depends on what this is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we said back then that maybe it was just bad timing. You were in London, and I was in Boston until graduation, and it was always going to be a bit of a mess, but there was always that someday chance, right? So maybe this is someday, and we talk about it, and try to get it right this time,” Tony says. “Or maybe that was just something we said and didn’t mean, and I ask you about your life, and you ask about mine, and we talk and laugh and pretend that we’re friends again for the next half hour or so before we go our separate ways.”

It’s an easy choice, really. If there’s one thing that Steve’s sure of, it’s that it’s always been him and always will be.

“I don’t want to go separate ways,” Steve says. “The first time was hard enough, and I never really moved on. I got better, but I don’t think I’ve been more than just fine in a long time.”

Tony nods slowly, “I kept thinking you would call, you know. Back then. I thought you would call and tell me that it was a mistake and it would be okay again, but you never did. Although, I guess I could’ve called, too.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“For the same reason as you, probably. I couldn’t risk it if you didn’t want me again. Couldn’t risk getting back together just to break up again, either. We weren’t exactly the poster children for making long distance work.”

“We were terrible at it, weren’t we?”

Tony’s smile is tinged with the pain of the past. “It’s kind of funny because I remember thinking that it might be a good thing for us when you told me about London. Can’t get sick of somebody if they’re not always around.”

“You thought I would get sick of you? You never told me that.”

“Why would I?” Tony laughs. “Just put all my insecurities on display like that? Come on, Steve, that doesn’t sound like me, does it?”

Steve laughs with him briefly, “No, but I could’ve told you back then that it wasn’t possible. Told you that I wanted you around all the time and I missed you every second you were gone. I might’ve even stayed if you had told me. I was thinking about it, you know? I almost turned the internship down. Probably would’ve if you’d asked even once for me not to go.”

“It was your career. I never would’ve asked you to give that up for me.”

“There would have been something else. Another job somewhere closer to you.”

“I still wouldn’t have asked,” Tony says. “And I would have told you to go if you’d said you were staying.”

Steve knows that, which is why they never talked about it much before he left. Tony pretended to be happy for him, and Steve pretended to be happy for himself, when really it already felt like the beginning of the end. A year apart is longer than it seems, and it didn’t take more than a few months to realize it.

“I never…” Steve starts, trailing off when he doesn’t quite know how to finish the sentence. “There was never anyone else. Not while we were together, and never with Peggy.”

“I know. I knew back then, too, that you were never that kind of person. Jealousy’s just a real bitch sometimes.”

“There’s really not been anyone since, either,” Steve adds, and Tony’s mouth quirks into a half smile. “I mean, a couple of people here and there, but nothing like what we were.”

“There’s not a whole lot out there like what we were, is there?”

Steve smiles, leaning back in his chair, “No, there’s really not. But I do remember reading a rumor that you got engaged.”

Tony groans, and it’s so much like he used to sound when he was nine pages deep into a ten page essay at three in the morning that Steve has to laugh.

“Don’t you dare laugh. That rumor haunts me, Steven,” Tony says, belied by a grin that he seemingly can’t control. “Do you know how I found out about my supposed engagement? When my mother called and asked why I hadn’t told her I was planning on proposing.”

“So I’m still the only person you’ve ever proposed to,” Steve teases, just for the way he knows Tony will get indignant about it.

“How many times do I have to tell you that one didn’t count?”

“You were on one knee, you asked a question, and you had a ring. All the boxes are checked, sweetheart.”

“It was a blue raspberry ring pop, and you ate it,” Tony argues. “Not to mention that I actually asked you to marry me someday in the distant future. That’s not a proposal.”

Steve laughs again, thinking about that day in the middle of their living room, just a few weeks before Steve got the call that would take him to London and change everything. It was almost like a joke, and for anyone else it would have been. Not for them, though, because Steve remembers the look in Tony’s eyes when he dropped down in front of him, spur of the moment and impulsive like almost everything was back then. He remembers how it still felt like a promise, even if it wasn’t the real thing.

“But I said yes, which I think technically means we’re still engaged.”

“Absolutely not,” Tony scoffs. “It’s going to be a production when we get engaged. Elaborate and planned and romantic as hell.”

“When, huh?” Steve grins.

Tony’s cheeks pinken a touch, but he doesn’t take it back. He reaches for Steve’s hand on the table. “Yeah, when. Is that alright with you?”

Steve threads their fingers together, holding on tight. “That’s alright with me.”

[voidcat]

no attachment (scaramouche/reader modern au fic)

(right after the events of ch4)

a/n: posting this rn bc ive not been going thru a writers block? tbh its so hot and humid here even sleeping feels like a chore so i spend the day just idly existing. ik this series had some ppl on the taglist so i'll post this little "chapter synopsises" thing of sorts, hope u enjoy

after this spending more time outside classes, sharing lunch etc. one day after class he sees u leaving instead of staying for library, u say u will join a gig. he invites himself to it basically. it's a gig of kazu and his band. kazu is... shocked to say the least when he sees scara next to u right at the front row. u introduce scara to kazu and the rest of the band (xiao, venti, aether)...

(implied time skip) scara joins u more often to ur friends outings. one day u straight walk behind the scene n he's confused. u explain normally u help them w makeup etc before gigs. cue a not so obviously jealous scara when you do xiao's eyeshadow.

xiao and scara bonding over their irritation at childe (scara just dislikes the guy, xiao hates that he keeps flrting w his dad/older brother. i ddint decide if zhongli will be a father figure or older brother, leaning towards the latter)

venti organizes a party, scara joining as well. he insists on drinking games, to which everyone ignores until alte hours. u explain to scara thats how it always goes. he makes a comment abt the tense air as u both r in the kitchen preparing drinks, u say "probably because we are the only single people here." it may b at the end of this chapter that u two share a kiss at the end of the night, then fr the followng week, u avoid him

implied more parties/going out. u "crying over" the news of yanfei "the elle woods wannabe???" (venti laughing in th bg: ehehe yeah they were crshing on her hard). going out to a pub w venti hu tao and yanfei, scara goes for a breath of fresh air. as hu tao and yanfei buy drinks, u mumble about wishing a love like theirs, venti says smt along the lines of u already having that and "havent you seen how that puppet looks at you" before u can ask what he meant, scara comes back, swinging an arm over the back of the cushions/ur shoulders, youre tense bc of ventis comment, "hey you alright?" "were you smoking?" "last i checked, i didnt need your permission for what to do." (he excuses himself, and comes back a minute later smelling of perfume, supressing the scent of smoke lmao)

u receive an untitled email w no attachment whatsoever to ur personal email address saying "he's not who he says he is" (or "who he acts he is") u drop the topic tho it unnerves u.

during one of the friend getaways u were leaving in a hurry, refusing to give a clear answer to what it was, scara offered to drive u, u only allowed him til a certain point. kazuha is worried bc u two always shared ur lives w the other. anyways theres nt much of a mystery u are seeing a therapsit but dont wanna explain why u started in the first place, only ningguang knows.

i think another party or beach house type of getaway but w ur friendgroup. esp u and venti get drunk on the night of arrival, waking up w a hangover, meanwhile kazu urges everyone to join him for a morning scretching/sport to freshen. scara rolls his eyes yet is the only one to keep up to kazu, until ur voice draws his attention. "you traitor! i cannot believe you didnt even tell me" snatching a thermos from ventis hands, u start drinking it, kazuha just groans: "mother was right, you are a bad influence" he says abt venti "um excuse me! give credit where its due, he only thought of that bc i yelled it to his face and suggested a good thermos." you say. (unless its clear, the thermos contains of a cold alcoholic drink) scara snatches the thermos from ur hands basically and u have to join the rest w morning jogging. the beachhouse thingy ends w u and scara walking side by side by the shore, u psuhing him tot he water and he grabs ur wrist, pulling u with him. cue simp mode scara pov when u both reemerge and he thinks under the full moonlight youre the mst beaut,ful thing he ever sees.

scara shows up to kazu one day asking advice regarding u, while holding a cat. kazu sighs, seeing scara wont leave, he opens the door n lets him in. some muttering abt how he's awful if he is trying to learn abt u to change how he acts bc a relationship based on a faked identity is no-no then he mumbles "well lucky for you you dont need to o much as their type seems to include [idr what exact phrase i had for this srry but he was basically insulting scara]", then beaten to curiosity, kazu asks whats up w the cat and scara holds the cat out to kazu "dont you think it looks like him (tomo)" (the cat is sand colored) "it followed me all the way to ur place"

some event for children of big names, for the first time (in years?) you and kazu will attend. scara is basically ur partner for it. at the beginning u push away the wine served (catered by dawn winery) (again a line i dont rmr but u insult the wine, claiming dandelion wine isnt even real wine or smt??) at one point interviwerers snatch u and scara away separetely, u get away a lot sooner, as u wait by the window, u can see the reflection of red hair, turning your back, u walk to his direction (away) and whisper "i hope you have found the closure you were desperately looking for" before diluc can say a thing, scara shows up w a hand on your waist "darling, there you are. what a bore it is here, why dont we go to that place you've been wanting to check out?" idk probs gonna spend the night w scara and sleep tgt, he gets... lowkeyish possesive during it lol... (just basking in the knowledge that he has u more than the other 'sore losers' ever did? or smt like that. idk could make more sense if in ur past 'relationship' w diluc u both always used a condom type of protection while w scara its penetrative sex basically.)

the beginning of conflict/reveal of it (from this bit on it is less planned as ive had this idea more recently. og plan was to have the event w diluc as final followed w more or less makin things official w scara. the beach house ch was supposed to have u refuse him, saying u "dont do love" and him going onthis rant abt how ur fear is illogical bc u wont be the only one vulnerable in a relationship...)

probably that night or the next, still at scaras, as it gets darker one drink afteranother u bth r more or less drunk, him more than u. then bfore realizing, he starts going on this weird rampant, his words making no sense: "u know i hate(d) you right? never got why ppl love u or ur brother so much. perfect children of perfect beidou and ningguang, beloved by everyone, beloved by their mothers, their friends" basically slurring speech and kinda revealing he first 'befriended' u w the intentions of having fun/messing w u since despite being 'perfect' u looked so lonely (and that 'im nt doing that' commen got him pissed. "who goes around calling people 'that' huh) scara rant goes on abt how he had to go fall for both perfect siblings "wow what a joke huh" and a little "i dont even get why im like this nowadays. idek why i rushed that way to get those notes and drove at 200kph to get back to the library for u" (basically drunk scara more or less jealous of u and kazu, emotional management problems, problems of realizing he has emotions, also it clicks to u that the guy kazu hated in his hs is scara)

scara wakes up to an empty bed, unable to contact u. it was at the end of the term so any excuse he uses to see u, they fail. rumors of u joiing ning for an internship, he tries to see u, only to be met w security. (he may or may not throw rpcks at the door like that cat tiktok. security dialing u/ning, scara in the bg "open the door or ill throw rocks at ur window" "u already are!" "i mean ur bedroom window" "wh-HOW DO U KNOW WHERE I LIVE". scara tries to reach out to kazu bc he is clueless why he is being ignored (he was VERY drunk, while his words sobered u up like a slap) kazu: politely tells him to fuck off.

scara finds a way in bc ei and ning wll have a meeting n scara pulls the elder child/shareholder card to insert himslf to the meeting, lil sister raiden is Not happy "i can become ceo long before you can so suck it up already". scara and u staring down at one anıther during the meeting, "talking" at the end, basically having to pull the curtains down bc the offices may be soundproof but theyre still made of glass n everyone can se eu two fight. then scara says to at least allow him to help u, sayng he knows abt the weird email u got and someone might b trying to frighten or corner u to give up ur shares.

idk basically working tgt w scara to find out who did it. he suspects one of the "harbingers". "arent you a harbinger as well?" "i keep my shares as a powermove, i dont want anything to do w their stupid company." so idk either dottore or childe gonna b the one who was mpre or less creeping u w the emails (u did receive more after ur breakapart w scara).

as i said the bits from drunk past confessions forward r fairly new so i dont have everything planned but basically u... more or elss tolerate scara (dont forgive him entirely) and he gotta work thru his issues basically (aka accepts that he has issues aaand hes kind of a simp, hes desperate to be loved lmao)

[thepoodlepack]

What's wrong with goldenpoodles? I'm genuinely curious because almost all of my dogs are mixed breeds and behave fine. So I'm curious if there's something else I'm missing

jeez this feels like bait but u kno what, you got me

alright, so it goes like this. the doodle really began with a guy in australia being like i need the temperament of a lab for a guide dog but these ppl are allergic to dogs, so i need a poodle bc they have hair, not fur. so he bred em together. years later he’s like damn that was a mistake.

now, why, exactly? alright so first of all he only needed that mix bc labs on average tend to adapt better to situations that are largely exclusive to service dog work than poodles do. i can go into what this means at a later date, but that’s basically how it is. but either way, people jumped on this creation and it kinda spiraled out of control. soon, poodles were being bred by everyone and every breed. suddenly, they were a marketing scam more then they were a dog breed.

oh theyre hypoallergenic! all of them, all the time cause zero allergies! look theyre so much better than poodles! theyre friendly and easy to train, not like poodles of course, just like labs! they’re better than labs bc none of them shed, ever! they’re super healthy bc breeding labs and poodles together wipes out all their health problems, of course!

lies, lies lies. the aussie guy, whose name i’m not going to look up bc i’m lazy but who you can find if you google creator of doodles, straight up says that even the first litter(s) of labradoodles he bred had puppies that the people he bred them for were allergic to. he very carefully tested the litter and the reaction the person had before placing a puppy that was not going to hurt them.

think of the punnet squares we all learned about in 5th grade science class. you draw the squares and one parent has two fur genes and the other parent has two hair genes and what do you get? well if you have four puppies, one might have hairhair and the next one might have hairfur and the next one might have furhair and the next one might have furfur. and so guess what? only hairhair pup is going to be the best choice for allergic people. additionally, you can see why the non-shedding thing can be bullshit, and that in particular is also a guessing game. you may be able to test allergy sufferers against the pups, but that does not necessarily mean they won’t shed. hairfur, for example, may be a good choice for some allergic people, but perhaps they’ve got just enough fur to shed anyway. also, lets look at salukis (and frankly, most long-haired sighthounds). salukis are still considered dogs with fur, not hair. they also still shed, even though it’s just a little. and yet they’re still considered good for allergy sufferers.

(ps poodles do actually shed. but they shed like humans shed. your hair comes out, doesn’t it? like, esp folks with long hair, aren’t people always complaining how you clog the shower drain? yeah, like that. ALSO obviously the situation is more complicated then super simple punnet squares and as an ex-groomer i have something to say about doodle coats but i’m going to save that for later, put a pin in it.)

oh and wait a hot minute there. i said best choice, didn’t i, not hypoallergenic. well, that’s because no dog is hypoallergenic. poodles, and a few other dog breeds, they have hair, like we do. but the thing is both humans and breeds with hair still produce the dander, though they’re different kinds. breeds with hair happen to produce the least amount possible that dogs can produce, which is why they’re a better choice for allergy sufferers, but that’s still not a guarantee. my roommate Dakota is allergic to dogs. if i don’t wash my dogs for an extended period of time (which has never happened, ever, in my life, idk what ur talking about), thus giving the chance for the dander my dogs still produce, he will have a very, very mild reaction when touching them. it can be countered by him washing his hands after touching them and also me just giving them a fucking bath, i need to stop forgetting, but still, there you go. ALSO people might not be allergic to dogs bc of their dander. they might be allergic to the saliva of dogs, which poodles or any other breed with hair still produces about the same as other dogs. so, yeah, not hypoallergenic, not at all.

the people who taut their hypoallergenic dogs for sale largely don’t do the testing required to check if they’re actually providing a dog to someone who won’t react to it. not acceptable at all.

so, labs are friendly and easy to train right? not at all like poodles, right? no. absolutely incorrect. some labs are friendly and easy to train. some labs, a lot of them when they’re puppies, are nightmare fuel. personally, i have a theory that everyone’s vision of labs in their heads are either a) service dogs or b) those old labs who are slightly pudgy (or morbidly obsess, which is a different topic) and who are graying in the face and just want to lounge around because they’re seniors now. alright, so here’s why thats bad. labs are a working breed. a retrieving breed. they’re supposed to be bulky and strong and driven. service dogs are highly trained, to a point that most pet dogs will never see, and if you see them with their actual disabled handler, they’ll probably be around 2.5 yrs of age and out of their most wild days. old labs are well. old. sleepy. maybe a bit achey. and well out of their most wild days. oh, and it’s the same type of thing with goldens by the way, the other most popular doodle type. poodles are also easy to train, especially if their parents have a decent temperament. they’re all about equal if you actually start training them when they’re puppies and just pay for some training classes, like everyone should. in the puppy classes i’m in right now, Euphoria is leaps and bounds ahead of doodles, goldens, and labs that are her age or older. I train her properly and she’s got amazing parents. that’s it, that’s the trick. not breed, not necessarily, and def not in this case.

I am once again going to say that labs and goldens are more often used as service dogs than poodles because of their adaptability, but it’s the ability to adapt to situations that most pet dogs will never have to worry about.

jeez this is a long post. i’ve still got more to cover too. alright, on to super healthy, or “hybrid vigor” as the nerds call it. uhh, it’s bullshit. thank u for ur time.

okay, but actually why on gods green earth would breeding two completely different breeds with little to no research make them super healthy? now i want to preface this with i’m (generally) pro-outcross projects. Euphoria’s dad is half mini poodle and half standard poodle, which isn’t technically an outcross bc all the variations are of the same breed, but if we’re going by genetic diversity alone minis and standards are different enough to actually be different breeds.

so, to be clear, outcrosses, given the proper thought and planning: good, results in healthier dogs (see: lua dals). randomly breeding two very different breeds together with no planning other than to sell the puppies to randos who won’t continue the outcross: bad. especially when you’re doing it to cash in and don’t health test at all, or don’t health test the major health problems with both breeds (if you’re doing an f2 breeding or anything like that). no the poodle’s health problems don’t get canceled out by the goldens or labs or whatever the other party’s health problems are, and vice versa. and yeah, i’ve looked at a lot of doodle breeder’s websites and yeah, most of them don’t health test at all, or at least don’t health test properly. do you know i own one doodle and currently live with another? yeah, i got them both from breeders and do you know how much health testing their parents got? if your answer is none, good job, you’ve been paying attention. in my defense, i was like 13, i didn’t know what i was doing.

alright, so those are the big points. this is kinda gonna be just... a mix of my other complaints. here we go, hope you’re ready for more. argument the first: i feel like it’s pretty disrespectful to reputable breeders. now, i actually have two reasons why that is. reason one: most reputable poodle breeders don’t want their breeding stock bred with other breeds, for various reasons. i’ve even met a few who used to be okay with it and then as the doodle scam got bigger and more out of control, they stopped being okay with it, even to the breeders who they had been fine with it in the past. that means a lot of doodle breeders out there have their breeding stock because they scammed poodle breeders into giving them pet quality, not breeding quality, dogs or because they’re getting their stock from non-reputable breeders. i also feel it’s disrespectful to breeders who are actually trying to create new breeds. quite frankly, a breed with the size, strength, and adaptability of a lab or golden that doesn’t shed and that has the train-ability of a poodle, lab, or golden sounds pretty interesting to me. did you know you can actually make that breed? and it wouldn’t be a cross with unpredictable... well, everything. it would actually be a true dog breed.

Look at Silken Windhounds and Biewer Terriers who began both development in the 1980s. Biewer Terriers were recognized by the AKC this year, and Silken Windhounds still haven’t been. And yeah, that’s the problem isn’t it? Making a real new breed takes a lot of time, planning, and care. People would rather just cash in. I think it’s sad and I think it’s disrespectful to the breeders who do work so hard to make actual new breeds.

and finally, unpin being an ex-groomer goddamnit. guess what? doodles are awful to groom! they’re terrible on the grooming tables because people want to have in both ways: they want a dog that doesnt shed at all and they want a dog who doesn’t need to be groomed. well guess what, that dog doesn’t exist and you can have it only one way. and also, bring back the goddamn punnet squares because a lot of doodles have awful coats. if you have hairfur and furhair over there, guess what, their coat fucking sucks bc it’s not meant to be like that. it wants to mat bc hair but also it wants the mats to slide out bc short-ish fur but its too thick for the mats to slide out bc thick hair. and yes its more complicated then this and that means its often more awful then this. its awful, it makes me want to cry. and maybe it’s slightly easier to get away with it with a shorthaired dog like a lab, or, you know what, even a golden, okay, even a slightly long haired dog like a golden but people are doodling akitas? border collies? bernese fucking mountain dogs? i am crying. i am crying right now as i type this.

lets do a sum up to this disaster of a post. look, i don’t go out there attacking or yelling at every doodle or every doodle owner i see, alright? or any of them really. i might engage in conversation to one that’s interested, but that’s it. i love my doodly Isis, okay? shes tiny and she’s adorable and I love her more than life and i will never, ever get another doodle. i don’t like the way they’ve gotten so prolific, i don’t like the reasons they’re now widespread, and i don’t like almost all of the people that create them, including the ones i’ve literally given my (parents) money to in the past. i wish they were better but i just cannot approve of them, especially not in the environment they exist in now. that said, i do support them in their original use case as assistance dogs, and i do not care about them if they’re shelter dogs.

[flying-elliska]

Headcanons for ADHD characters Masterlist

I was asked for this a while ago and I feel this is a good discussion subject because the canon representation for ADHD is kind of abysmal and is often a caricature or a joke.

usual disclaimer, I'm not a therapist, this is not a diagnosis tool, just for fun, etc etc...basing this on my own experience/knowledge with ADHD and meeting a lot of ADHD people IRL. I'm going off the main symptoms first (inattention and/or hyperactivity, restlessness, impulsivity, problems with emotional/focus regulation, daydreaming, messiness, hyper-focus, fidgeting etc) and then looking at character traits that are not a necessary symptom but often associated (substance abuse and addiction, need to please, sensitivity to rejection, compassionate and creative, thrill seeking, very imaginative, charming and witty or withdrawn and shy or angry and irritable, whimsical and fun and a bit child-like, out of the box thinker, self esteem issues, unstable life, comorbidity with anxiety and depression, very intense feelings, functions better with adrenaline/in an emergency, disregard for rules and problems with authority OR extreme compliance, codependency, perceived as weird, clever in an atypical way, problems in school, extremely good at one specific thing, etc)

Also I found this list with actual canonical representation

BOOKS :

The 'fits to a T so I'm seeing it as my personal canon' list :

note : doesn't mean that the authors actually meant to create representation but it's very likely they at least got inspired by people who did have ADHD (even when the diagnosis itself did not exist) and explained it with 'it's just their personality' OR the story happens in a setting where the label doesn't exist as such. also not meant to be exhaustive.

- Helen Burns (from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë) One of Jane's school friends from the start of the novel, fits the inattentive type to a T : she can't seem to focus or learn her lessons, is constantly daydreaming, describes herself as messy and careless, forgets rules, and is easily distracted. She talks constantly about her own 'defective nature' and seems very sensitive to criticism but incapable of changing. She doesn't defend herself against the nuns' harsh punishments as she thinks she deserves them. She's presented as kind-hearted and compassionate, almost too good for this world, and hyperfocuses on her faith. Apparently sb even wrote an academic article on this. She dies so it's not super fun representation but it is interesting to see in an older book, to push back against the idea that ADHD was invented yesterday by Big Pharma lol.

- Grantaire (from Les Miserables, Victor Hugo) Part of the student revolutionary group Les Amis de l'ABC and resident skeptic, does not believe in the cause but is fixated on the group's idealistic leader (and yeah it sounds very gay, they die holding hands, there is a lot of Symbolism). He spends his time ranting about things that are only vaguely connected, is described as brilliant but incapable of sticking to any one profession or hobby, is an alcoholic, has a creative streak (was a painter at some point), likes wandering around the city, has massive self-esteem issues and is a general mess but does seem to care about his friends. This is not a very flattering portrayal as Grantaire is described as morally deficient but again, interesting in an old book. ADHD!Grantaire is a popular take in the modern fandom (i was in it before I was diagnosed it brought up a lot of Things) and it's very cathartic to see him get actual therapy in fic lmao.

- Luna Lovegood (from the Harry Potter series) JKR sucks but this is probably the most high profile case of a possible inattentive ADHD character so I didn't want to leave it out. She's a daydreamer, she is a big space cadet and seems to live in her own world, she has a very out of the ordinary sense of style, she's bullied for being weird, but she's also very kind and perceptive and cares a lot about her friends, and good at coming up with out of the box solutions. I wouldn't call it good representation, she's described as a wacko whom a lot of characters find cringeworthy but she's also pretty heroic, so. And she does seem to hyperfocus on magical creatures. Plus her father could also have it (and it runs in families).

- Jasper Fahey (from Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo) Part of a young group of thieves with a heart of gold, he's a charmer and a compulsive gambler who quits college and incurs debts so massive he stops talking to his father out of shame. He's also an extremely talented sharpshooter and the scenes where he describes how the whole world slows and the rush of adrenaline when he is shooting sound like hyperfocus to a T. He's a loyal friend but also quite dependent on Kaz, the leader of the group, to keep him in line. He's witty, messy and he likes danger. His boyfriend later in the series, Wylan, is dyslexic and the way they learn to accommodate each other's issues honestly makes them one of my favorite couples ever. I need to reread these books and I am so stoked for the series I hope they do Jasper justice.

- Julian Diaz (from Cemetary Boys, Aiden Thomas) Love interest of the book, introduced as the 'high school resident bad boy', energetic motormouth who can't sit still and actually very endearing, has issues in school and gets bored easily, main problem is that he's a ghost...sort of. The whole thing was very cute and I love that Julian's personality is described as fun and attractive instead of annoying (which is, if you haven't noticed already, a pattern).

- Evie O'Neill (from the Diviners series, Libba Bray) She's a flapper in 1920s New York who ran away from her boring little town to make a life for herself ; she's a party girl and an impulsive thrill-seeker who hates standing still and is always looking for excitement to 'fill the void'. She craves fame and attention and pretty things, she can be a loyal friend but is also frequently self-centered and forgetful, she's street smart, resourceful and very charming and witty. She's also grieving, drinks too much and is definitely depressed. She's obviously meant as an archetype of the era, caught between trauma and excess, but it does come over as very hyperactive ADHD as well. Her powers to read objects also really pinged me as a good metaphor for the ADHD tendency to be overwhelmed by details.

The 'bit more of a reach but there's a vibe' list :

- Emma Woodhouse (from Emma, Jane Austen) Frequently cited as a character with ADHD, I didn't come up with this one but she fits. She's daydreaming, easily bored, has flights of fancy and hyper-focuses on matchmaking, is a bit impulsive and thrill seeking, clever in an unconventional way, described as a bit immature, mix of caring and self-centered.

- Ronan Lynch (from the Raven Cycle, Maggie Stiefvater) Ronan just has Neuroatypical Vibes, even though it's not entirely clear what, and I've seen people label him all sorts of things which is very valid. As for ADHD, he's restless, impulsive, likes to Go Fast and do street racing, he has very strong emotions he doesn't know what to do with, and big self esteem issues esp. at the start, is very all or nothing with people, snarky, drops out of school to be a magic farmer, problems with authority, looks like a scary mean goth but is actually a big softie (but like, with a few people), pulls shit out of his dreams. Is kind of dependent on his best friend at the start too.

- Sherlock Holmes (from the eponymous series by Arthur Conan Doyle) Again a character who has been diagnosed with all sorts of things. The biggest ADHD vibe for me is 'my mind rebels at stagnation' and the way he needs drugs to function outside of the thrill of a case, and the way he hyper-focuses on information he needs to be a detective while completely ignoring common knowledge. Also sort of dependent on his best friend Watson and isn't great at social interactions. Doesn't care much about upholding social conventions either. The RDJ adaptation is the one that has the most ADHD vibes to me.

- Harley Quinn (DC Comics/Movies) Big codependency issues (that's arguably the thing she's most known for) and sadly people with ADHD are often prone to getting into abusive relationships. It depends on the story too but she's very energetic, zany, impulsive, she likes shiny things and bright clothes, she's fun and chaotic and likes to break the rules, she's a criminal but she does seem to have a heart, she's also frequently immature and rash, etc.

What are your headcanons ? I would love to hear if you have some so I can add them to the list. I'll make a TV/Movies list soon.

[mundungs]

ϟ.  → robert sheehan : genderfluid : he/they/she : dealer of illicit objects and substances : the raven by the alan parsons project ϟ  did you see mundungus fletcher ? you know ,  31 year old halfblood who was formally in ravenclaw. some say dung can be quite furtive but are known to be unreliable. they are aligned with the order .  maybe that’s why they remind me of naming stray cats, flicking a lighter over and over again, falling asleep on the subway. ϟ 

some links for food

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ciannán o’donnell is a flighty man, one of many relationships and flings and little loyalty, and so his affair with maeve fletcher does not last long. when she tells him she is pregnant, he moves on to a different woman, and maeve has her son alone, with her sister on her side. and thus, mundungus is born (and giving an arguably atrocious name).

he grows up with his mum – a halfblooded witch and by far his favourite person in the world – in limerick, attending muggle school there. he knew who his dad was, but wasn’t quite sure how to feel about — his father is a criminal, a prominent member of the irish mob. 

he meets his dad for the first time at age seven, and was nothing but impressed. his dad showered him with gifts, his mum watching with a furious look on her face but biting her tongue. that moment was a switch for mundungus; he felt the need to impress his dad. he stole some sweets from a store on his way home from school a week later, fished some pennies out of the pockets of his classmates a few months later. when he phoned his dad to tell him, his laugh was warm and filled with life. his relationship with his dad got better as his behaviour got worse. the thrill of stealing, of doing stuff he wasn’t supposed to, lit him not only on fire because it was exciting, but also because he knew his dad would adore it. 

but ciannan, a flighty man, pushes and pulls. and so mundungus was fed disappointment by his father, liking love off a shiny knife rather than a spoon ( silver or plastic, what the fuck does it matter ). details omitted, long story made short: his dad sucks and his mother tries, but mundungus is pulled towards that what smells of danger.

DRUGS MENT. at hogwarts, dung is sorted into ravenclaw. not at all the booksmart type, he falls more into the chaotic-creativity, random-bursts-of-wanting-to-learn-everything-about-something type of ravenclaw. there’s two worlds, then: the muggle world, where he slowly dips his water further in criminal waters, and the wizarding one, where he’s chaotic and messy but a student. when he grows older, these overlap: dung starts selling some of his dad’s weed at hogwarts, and soon gains a reputation of being able to get people less-than-legal shit. 

not getting high off your own supply is not a sentiment he agrees with. not then, not later, not now. dung is fun, always in for a party and willing to supply the goods to throw it. if some rich purebloods lose a few galleons at said party, well, it sure isn’t him! END OF TW

he graduates with two newts, in herbology and potions, failing his dada and charms exams. he’s not an academic.

falling into the family business after graduation is easy. mundungus is attracted by the criminal underworld, both that of muggle ireland and that of the wizarding world. knockturn alley was a place frequented in teenage years, but now becomes more his place. he makes connections, exchanges strange potion recipes for other things. makes an odd wager on a bunch of stolen brass scales and turns a profit. 

a career is not something that interests him; he is more interested in bending rules and making quick money. thievery, selling illegal shit, heists, fraud, fuck-all. mundungus is not limited by one descriptor, one kind of criminality. he just does what he wants and hopes to make a good penny.

but then he almost gets sent to azkaban over some, in his frank opinion, bullshit. it’s dumbledore who talks the wizengamot out of it, saddling dung up with some community service and persuading him towards the order. he’s twenty three. the war is still fresh. he has no interest in it, but he owes the old man. fine.

mundungus does vehemently oppose blood purity and any kind of discriminatory ideals, an anarchist in his very bones, but he is also cowardly. to side with self-proclaimed rebels is not in his blood and yet it’s where he ends up, bringing shady ties to the underworld to the table and a sheer ability to sneak around and fuck the law. and maybe, amidst the ranks of the order, dung finds something he’s not very familiar with: a large family. and dung? well, he’s the stoner, gay, super-fucking-chaotic cousin.

personality

if jesper fahey and kaz brekker had a child, it would be dung. 

other character parallels: fezco ( euphoria ), boris ( the goldfinch ), doug judy ( b99 ), jason mendoza ( the good place ), chris miles ( skins ),  nick miller ( new girl ), creed bratton ( the office ), scott lang ( marvel ), lillian ( unbreakable kimmy schmidt )

technically he’s homeless. he’s got a bedroom at his ma’s place, has a ton of squatter connects in the muggle scene and couch surfes aplenty, but dung doesn’t rent a place. why? landlords are evil. he could afford a place, just doesn’t see the point. life’s better with some adventure.

appears very neutral in public as it’s beneficial to his role in the order??? 

.... tortured artist. writes poetry and loves to draw and paint. 

tattooed the fuck up. some are his own designs.

can usually be spotted wearing The Coat, a rly expensive, vintage long coat that he once stole of a pureblood. he’s enlarged the pockets with some handy spellwork and pretty much carries everything he owes in there, like his produce and his money and his second pair of shoes and his art supplies and probably some random trash. 

loves animals. he loves stray cats especially <3 they are his kin. 

an anarchist. a bit of a punk. a deep idealist with a cowardly heart so constantly betraying himself (and sometimes others?)

queer! enby! genderfluid! i used he/him pronouns throughout this intro but dung truly doesn’t give a damn what u use. loves to dress up in feminine clothes. 

has a ton of aliases, lol, the most important one being marigold fincher. 

cusses too fuckin much to be healthy :/

oh no he is a big sad insecure kid deep inside :/ dont tell anyone how embarrassing!!!! shhhh!! it’s a secret.

quick connection ideas

victim. wow please. if your character is rich. let me steal from u. pick ur pockets. break into ur house. get some of ur stuff and drop it on the black market. 

customer. dung sells. whatever u need. drugs. weird magical things. ask and ye shall receive. his prices are whack but he does deliver <3

pal. party friends! order friends! random encounter friends! dung has a trashmouth and loves to talk pls let him chat u up and u will never be rid of him <3

couch. he couch surfs. a lot. if ur character trusts dung enough to let him into their home (which they shouldnt) then pls let him sleep over for a night. he will leave a strangely expensive necklace on ur kitchen table as a thank u. or wilted flowers. no in between.

skeptic. ur char is in the order and thinks dung is a liability and maybe they have a point. a point mundungus would rather not face :)

dmle bitches. dung hates anyone authoritative but esp the coppers at the ministry (hit wix & aurors) (yea he calls them coppers sorry he doesnt respect them enough to call them aurors <3). give me that doug judy/jake peralta dynamic. or just someone in the dmle who is like ... sigh this guy again??? 

fwb/one night stand/fling/etc. he’s a bit slutty <333 give him some ppl he’s hooked up with / will hook up with.

[phoebehalliwell]

Do Penn and Dency have like more a of sisterly than a cousin one since they’re so close in age (and they kinda grew up together since they only a few months apart). And like on a slightly different topic, what does Penn think of Dove? Did Penn and Dency share friends in Magic school or did they run in opposite circles?

tl;dr yeah they’re more sisterly & penn and dove don’t really like each other that much, & penn and dency definitely ran in different circles, especially as they got older. there’s like. a full on deep dive under the cut. i highly recommend u read if u wanna know why penn’s Like That & her complex relationship with both dency & dove, but um. it’s 3.7k words. but u should read it♥

i would definitely say they’re more sisters than they are cousins because like. i don’t know how close y’all are with your cousins. but like. cousinship is really not what i’d call a solid unbreakable fraternal bond you know? like penn and dency are like. 2.5 months apart so They Are The Same Age (even tho dency’s born in 02 & penn’s born in 03) and also because while in dency’s early years there is a phoebe/coop thread running, it still takes a while for those two to enter a committed relationship and move out so for the first. three? or so years of their lives, dency and penn literally shared a bedroom in the manor like they were raised kinda like twins just from a proximity standpoint. and then, of course, since they’re the same age and all, they hit milestones at the same time & are always in the same school year (which i feel like both these girls went to private schools which are like. always catholic schools idk if this is universal but like. i feel like in sf almost every single private school is tied to a church but maybe i just don’t know that many people who went to private school. and yes this is because i just really really want dency to go to a catholic school her being the antichrist so to speak all that i want her to be genuinely afraid that if she touches holy water she’ll burn it’s fun (it doesn’t burn her, for the record. she like. tried when she was 9/10 and it’s like one of those things like you know how you can lick your fingers and pinch out a candle flame so as a kid you wanna try it and you have saliva all over your fingers and you keep going in a chickening out because that’s fire!! that’s a flame!! what the fuck!!! so its a back and forth until you just gotta do it yeah that she ends up like plunging her full hand in when the plan was kinda only dip a finger but good news! she’s fine she does not burn with holy water.) maybe they go to public high school but like. private elementary and/or middle school. because high school who cares but going to a catholic middle school will leave the funniest long term effects on people).

and then, of course, magic school. they both go to magic school. which as i’ve stated before i think there are many magic schools this magic school is tethered to san francisco and i think really any west coast witches will attend that school but there aren’t That Many so class sizes are still like. 30 kids. and then, of course, as this is Charm School (as so it is dubbed as it is the school run by the charmed ones) they do kinda host their fair share of magical events which is mainly like the elders being like okay can we all get together let’s host a yule celebration here which they do in this world but not in the canon!gen2 due to one major defining factor: penn. because like. she’s the twice blessed man. magic literally shut down just like globally for a full day when she was born (dency actually retained a limited amount of magic as you know she has a bit of source. it’s a magic source. but like. very little it was insanely dampened). but you know globally no one really knew this was coming all of magic was left standing there with their dick in their hands until it turned back on and now there’s only one question: what the fuck was that? and the answer was a baby literally so powerful was born that all magic rested for a day to welcome this child. the twice blessed has arrived. And That’s A Big Fucking Deal! and again: the elders don’t really like the charmed ones all that much bit of a two way street here because the charmed ones don’t like them so they would love to take away this ability maybe save it for a rainy day with a family they don’t already have a dicey history with but um. source’s heir is right there. so we’re gonna keep the twice blessed in tact. but yeah basically the elders have kind of these magical holidays at magic school and penn has to be in attendance just because she’s kinda the representation of the best of good magic. she’s an idol everyone can kinda get behind you know rejuvenate the spirit of good magic unite the witches behind one figurehead.

which, for the record, piper and leo are Not Really Game for because what the fuck so it’s like. at first when the elders are like. let’s host a litha celebration here invite magical families around the world extend olive branches so to speak you know it also tells the underworld that good magic is strong on united really keeps them at bay (because they really have yet to recover from s7/s8 there’s still not centralized ruler demon/monster attacks have been way down and quite frankly the sisters wanna keep it that way. they love a world where their lives aren’t constantly at risk). so initially they’re like yeah sure they bring their kids because what are they gonna hire a babysitter the kids can be there and like. everyone fawns over penn. and penn initially loves it because like you’re 7 who doesn’t love being special being the center of attention. but piper & leo are like 😐 because they’re starting to see the game the elders are playing but you know. in the early years penn really likes going to these. i should state penn’s full name is actually melinda penelope halliwell and when she was young she did go by melinda but she really didn’t like how much she was compared to melinda warren esp with all the twice-blessed stuff (she also has leo’s hair color (i.e. blonde) so she does look a lot like her ancestor) so around 13 14 or so she starts going by penelope which people shorten to penny which is just another ancestor to be compared to so she shortens that to penn. so yeah through the elementary school era i think penn really likes attending these functions she likes being liked and piper and leo are like no really you don’t have to go in fact we’d prefer it if you’d stayed home but she’s like 9 she doesn’t get the minutia of it and she’ll like cry if she can’t go to the fun party. by the time she hits middle school tho she’s like no this shit is draining lmao can all these adults back off. but then like. by the time she hits high school she’s kinda caught on and if it’s her being a charming, polite, dazzling little twice blessed that keeps good magic solid and the underworld at bay, she can play that role. she will play that role. but now there’s a sense of duty to it.

so. i’m still talking. i think it magic school penn was really popular because she was like a household name you know, that and like she’s really got her father’s kind heart and can play mediator like her mother so she kinda can do the saintlike role given to her (which again is something she starts at a young age not realizing what all this is before and it grows into the core of who she is & now it’s inseparable. it’s kinda like the male gaze. but the elder gaze. even pretending you aren't catering to elder fantasies is an elder fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. you are a witch with an elder inside watching a witch. you are your own voyeur. lmao. haha but yeah penn has a really big circle but while people fawn over penn they are inherently distrustful of dency because again these are kids and they get their opinions from their parents. and some parents really don’t want the source of all evil going to school and learning alongside their kids. and this is kinda penn’s crucial flaw is she was kinda always taught to be so temperate that when people are mean to dency, she doesn’t like. go to bat for dency. she mediates. she’ll mediate in a situation where someone is clearly in the wrong but is like. let’s reach a peaceful agreement let’s try to see both sides because you know her parents especially leo raised her with this peace love & understanding mentality and she’s so young she doesn’t get the nuance of situations.

so, rather than kinda sit and field catty comments from other witches in penn’s social circle & watch penn try to turn this into some kind of socratic seminar on how we’re all different and we should all try to understand each other dency kinda just voluntarily breaks from penn’s circle. it’s not too difficult as not that many people really wanted her anyway and also she’s not always in the same classes as them as she needs lots of private tutoring to kind of. you know. hone her demon powers, which function differently.

and then this is where we bring in dove who is a witch with no active powers and two mortal parents, so she doesn’t actually realize it’s weird not to have active powers until she reaches magic school (after being enrolled by paige, who has basically assorted sidequests going at all time where she like. finds witches who don’t have the resources to learn the craft proper and rather than let them just risk it she enrolls them in her school. she does this in canon!gen2 as well that’s kinda like her whitelighter job as i don’t think she has too too many Charges in a traditional whitelighter sense). and then a bit of history on dove her parents are fucking loaded. the type of rich you eat, not just upper middle class. and her dad does fuck knows what tech shit in the silicon valley and her mom’s basically just a socialite. so dove, like penn, from a very young age learns the art of being the little doll at the party. we’re sitting this baby down at the grand piano and you’re all gonna coo and aww as she knocks out für elise okay? but the primary difference between penn & dove is dove was being coached. dove knew from a very young age what she was doing. penn was just what the john mulaney quote shiny and dumb and easy to trick? yeah. piper and leo didn’t want her there they didn’t want her exposed to like the notion of white magic politics, dove’s mother on the other hand basically trained her in the art of the social kill.

So. dove as a kid gets to magic school and kinda quickly realizes she’s not like the other kids. and yes, there are some late bloomers, but like. she’s really not like the other kids i mean she’s a witch with no lineage and no active powers and everyone else seems to have family friends and people they already know and she’s alone. so. ever the social strategist, she aligns herself with penn. and dove joined about late elementary school early middle school so she got contact with dency before she broke, but she knows her mostly by reputation because dove loves gossip and there’s a lot to be whispered about dency. unfortunately, there’s also a lot to be whispered about her. and it’s usually like. if you’re a late bloomer and you don’t have an active power, by the time you hit puberty one develops (there’s also like. the other marker is when the brain stops developing around age 25 sometimes power develop then and dove’s currently like 24 so she’s lowkey still holding out for that one). but dove kinda goes through puberty and doesn’t get an active power and now kids are calling her dud and this is where penn’s middle road logic fails her again because she just. she’ll be kind to dove and be like that’s really mean and they shouldn’t have said that, but she’ll also speak kindly to the bullies and be like hey that’s not nice don’t say that. and dove is not a temperate person so when she’s attacked she goes for the jugular. and penn pulls out again this peace love & understanding card like i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t stoop to their level you should try to always be understanding because you don’t know what they’re going through and it pisses dove off because penn literally has no backbone. like she’s never really seen penn stand for anything and quite frankly she’s a little pissed about it because she specifically befriended penn for like protection for a place in the magical community and penn just like. does not offer that because she’s just do spineless.

so i think dove kinda just slowly distances herself from penn and penn doesn’t really do anything to keep friends so to speak because as the twice blessed kids kind of just flock to her she’s definitely got a really weird dynamic just with others as a whole so it’s like when dove stops invited penn over for playdates it’s not like penn’s gonna Start inviting dove over for playdates because that’s simply not how penn’s mind works. also almost all her playdates from like a really young age were really weird because it was just witches being like oh my god let’s set up a cute little playdate for our kids i’ll bring them over at 1 and piper and leo were game because you know yay socialization for my daughter, but you know it quickly became obvious that it wasn’t for the kids. like it was for these parents who get to be in the halliwell manor talking to a charmed one, the twice blessed is right there, & it was kind of sickening. so yeah. that happened one too many times. but like the further dove drifted from penn kind of the less she held her tongue because you know penn’s so kind and temperate that she really doesn’t like hearing insults quick jabs you know like obviously. but dove’s great at it. and yeah, there are kids dove just doesn’t like because they’re dicks to her. so when they go after dency, dove’s immediately ready to tear them to bits. it’s kind of like sticking up for the little man, but it’s more just like attacking the bully bc now you have a reason to. but what surprises dove is dency also has some bite to her words, dency also fights back. which dove again ever the social strategist thinks dency shouldn’t to that because she already has the title of the source’s heir hanging over her it’s not wise to pour fuel on that fire but at the same time she’s glad dency just like. does fight back. is a dick about it. she loves that she’s someone who doesn’t play the social game, someone who’s true to herself and isn’t going to water herself down in order to be liked by other people. you know dency’s got backbone she’s got chutzpah and dove loves to see it after everyone in magic school who are all just like. 11 year old sycophants finally someone who’s real. so i think dove and dency kind of become besties as they willingly mark themselves as the social outcasts who just. do what they want to do. it’s like dency’s basically a demon and dove’s basically mortal and together they’re just having like. a great fucking time. i think they really like each other. it’s also dove’s first friendship that literally has no exterior advantage if anything it brings down her stock but she doesn’t care because dency’s just like cool man.

and then nowadays they’re all like 24 and dency and dove live together dency works as a freelance journalist (even though elise is constantly offering her a permanent position at the bay mirror, dency doesn’t accept it because she “doesn’t want a nepotism job” to which elise is like dency i wouldn’t offer you the job if i didn’t think you were any good my own niece has been trying to get an internship here for two years but she writes absolute drivel okay i don’t want you here because you’re my goddaughter i want you here because you’re an excellent writer. but dency still always turns her down because she doesn’t like the optics. she still spends a lot of time a the bay mirror just because i really love the visual of punk rock antichrist rolling up to the bay mirror and immediately getting the biggest hug from elise when most employees have yet to even see elise smile) & then dove on the other hand 100% has a nepotism job she like does pr for her dad’s company. penn i think works in piper’s kitchen as a line cook where she literally like addresses her mom like yes chef all that like people don’t know she’s the owner’s daughter hell they barely know her name and she kinda loves it like that.

and dency and penn definitely have this kind of testy relationship because dency never leaves well enough alone. i mean that’s literally her job right as a journalist, but it carries over into magic too & penn hates it because someday dency’s gonna get herself killed. but the fact of the matter is their fighting styles are not compatible. penn and dency are not good side by side in a fight & dency would much rather work alone. but, if penn knows anything, she’s gonna be there. she refuses to let dency go in alone because if dency dies and there was something she could have done about it she’d never forgive herself. this is why dency doesn’t go to penn for healing anymore because again they can’t lie to each other given their lie detector power, so rather than get penn involved dency goes to her friend jack who is both a mortal & and nurse & went to like the same private elementary school as dency, tho i think he was in on a lottery. And. Of Course. there is a vice versa going on here because dency does not tell penn things because like. if penn dies because she was following dency into some dangerous battle she’d never forgive herself. because, quite honestly, dency knows she’s powerful. she has a skill set that practically no one has the ability to counter. but also. she’s the source’s heir. penn’s the twice blessed. the world needs penn a lot more than it needs her, you know? dency does kind of view herself as more expendable than penn, you know again penn is the embodiment of all good magic and the story’s definitely been spun that penn and the elders kind of unifying good magic, creating a strong bond keeps the underworld at bay. penn’s death would be a devastating blow. and on top of that, penn’s really not a fighter. dency is, she’s great at it. and you know, if penn was always running headfirst into battles like dency, it really would be a mirror relationship but penn really does not practice magic outside of magic school. so that’s not a concern. but yeah. given this fact that penn is really more important symbol-wise & the fact they do not fight well together & the fact penn’s just not great at fighting & she does not remotely know the demonic world like dency does, dency really does try to keep her cousin in the dark as much as possible.

dove and penn kind of in the present have a bit of a rivalry going at least penn considers it a rivalry because penn genuinely considers them equals, dove on the other hand does not because penn is the twice blessed and dove is a witch without powers but yeah. no one really can argue the way they argue because it really doesn’t sound like an argument it’s like. written down it can seem like a perfectly friendly conversation but there is kind of this intense vein of malice running through most of their interactions. which, while we’re kind of positioned to side with dove because she’s more of a main character than penn is, she’s besties with our protagonist, also i love her, dove is definitely the instigator. and it’s not like penn’s deserving of any of dove’s harassment but dove is just still really bitter about how penn was supposed to be her shelter as a young girl but penn never stands up for anything leaving dove really vulnerable as a kid. which she has not ever voiced to penn, penn just thinks dove’s a bitch (which she is, but like,) but at the same time penn almost always seeks dove out or even invites her (not directly, but rather by extension by insisting dency has to come no no you have to come listen you can bring a friend okay but you have to be there. because dency will only ever bring dove.) to these magical functions because a) dove’s kind of already so low on the food chain that she’s really fine with making snide comments to the faces of these really pretentious parents who are only in it for power and optics. like penn always has to pretend not to smile when dove makes the comments she always wished she could say just like. to an elder’s face. and then on top of that, dove’s about the only person who doesn’t view penn as sacred, and by extension, now that they’re older, dove is about the only person penn doesn’t have to act sacred around (outside of her own family, obvi). like. penn has piper’s bitchiness. she just never gets to say what’s on her mind because she’s too busy being The Twice Blessed. unless she’s around dency & dove & co, where nobody cares who she is, and she can be kind of the dick she is. she’s not as temperate as she seems. 

[sastrugie]

john entwistle biography review

ok so first: I didnt really like the biography because I thought it would focus on totally different aspects. John was a musical virtuoso and that hardly ever gets mentioned in the book. But we get exact axccounts on how much money he spent on what day and in which pub he bought which champagne. like wow thanks. The other personal stuff is basic who knowledge you can read in any other Who biography. His autobiographical bits were joy and fun! Maybe the only reason to buy the book in my opinion. He writes totally different than the author...

ANYWAYS: here my fav facts from the book that you probably didnt know before

this is the face of a man who -when his father gave him driving lessons for his 21st birthday as a present- decided driving wasnt really his thing and he spent the money on clothes and parties instead. He never had a drivers license ever and also never desired to have one 

the hospital he was born in, was bombarded and destructed one day after his birth

as a child he was really weak and thin and had basically every disease that existed

his family was poor af

his father left the family early and held contact with his son, but soon disappeared with a new family

his stepdad, Gordon, disliked John alot and would ignore him, hated everything John did or said and he let his bad moods out on Johns mother, which caused John to be very silent and observative around the house so that there wouldnt be any trouble

he did everything to please Queenie (his mom) so that there was no fighting, according to Alison

loved drawing and playing but usually alone since he had no friends apart from their dog

he heard a trumpet solo once from a trad jazz band when he was 6 or so and decided he wanted to learn the trumpet

my fav line of the book probably: “despite his own expectations, he passed the exams to go to grammar school” like same

at school he was bullied from the older boys but soon left alone by them because he would fight back with badass comments 

he applied for the school band for the trumpet but the tallest guy in the year was chosen (he was the 2nd tallest)  which made John mad, but he discovered the french horn

soon he found a friend, mickey brown, at last and he gave him the nickname “ent”

he was so terrible in P.E that he was dismissed with other pupils to play somehwere else, they were called “the hockey misfits” and guess who was among them: Pete Townshend.

yeah as you might know they became besties because they loved music and black humour.

he found himself a gf (alison) and Pete & a school gang (like 4 ppl) and his life seemed to finally get where it should.

his worst subjects were geography and german like wow (im a german geography student lmao)

once they played in a pub and johns stepdad was there and was super angry and gave john a list with his fav pubs and told him “these are the places I never want to hear your fucking music playing”.

after walking home pete decided to switch the guitar and john wanted to become a musician more than ever

Roger found him and John kind of convinced him (it took months apparently) to get Pete into the band and then it all started

he judged the beatles because John Lennons harmonica was “out of tune” in love me do, wow ok you nerd

john started smoking with 20 and was the last one to quit his job for the band and he was against drugs at first (bc he had a “civilized” job) but then decided to give a shit, dyed his hair black, bought cigarettes, smoked dope with pete and did speed too

he wanted to step out of himself and feel good about himself and he was always a fashionnerd so he started buying and trading and selling clothes (he once was dismissed from school bc he wore the school uniform incorrectly)

with 18 or so he was still living at home, had a toy soldier collection and a pet budgie

pete and his college friends made fun of john bc he wasnt a student and still lived at home, although john could have gone to college too and he wanted to, but his stepdad again said no and he had no choice.

he was very awkward and introverted but could open up with his music 

he was really into pop art (esp pop art clothes)

was a pseudo mod bc he only liked the fancy clothes and motown music

with the who he found a purpose in his life and finally could be different than ordinary ppl

hated when people touched his hair, he literally hated it

would fuss much about his hair in general

once after a concert they were starving and the room service was alreday home so they had to look on used plates and food wagons and John found a shrimp and said: “who wants to dine with me tonight?” (idk that really made me laugh)

keith moon was john entwistles soulmate and they were the cutest, most iconic and funniest duo ever end of discussion

his amps would soon be called little manhatten bc he had so many bc he wanted to be loud

he actually went to sing at church once when he was like 24 and the band made fun of him then he stopped

in the late 60s he bought a house with alison in a normal neighbourhood and went walking the dogs on sundays and stuff

but he was a party animal and always the last to go

he was really sensitive and cried often according to Alison but only in front of certain people

he would totally step out of his way to please people

when they played at the monterey pop festival they didnt bring their own amps along and john was furious bc he said the american amps are shit and kit was like “no” and john didnt talk to him for the whole festival until their perfomance was over and they had sounded like shit to tell kit “I TOLD YOU SO” thats how extra he was

when he got money he would spend it bc he was so used to being poor that he thought it wouldnt last long and he had to enjoy it NOW

he was always calm and everyone respected him and kit told a story where he entered the room and roger was at keiths throat and and pete was screaming something and john was sitting in the corner cleaning his nails. thats who energy

liked to dance at parties

his fav drink was rémy cognac with 40% and he would drink like 1 bottle alone everyday in his later years...wow dude

he was also gentlemanTM and once paid taxis for girls from london to brighton after a party

once at a wedding the free drinks were out and John just gave the barkeeper his creditcard and said he will pay for all the drinks of the night for everyone (it wasnt his wedding)

Roger once said: “John made smartass comments that deserved a punch in the face” sounds like him yes

he didnt really care about money and always wanted to pay and never told anyone how much things had cost and brought gifts for everyone

soon that ended in a shopping addiction tho and he bought ridiculous things for ridiculous amounts of money

when the who was inactive he sank into depression :(

held the band together during who by numbers & who are you

wrote and played all the quadrophenia horn parts himself

never lost his passion for art and always drawed alot, said Alison

cried when Christopher was born aww

once he saw their manager in an art museum and how he wanted to buy a painting but couldnt afford it, so John bought it secretly and shipped it to said managers home as a gift

We all know John was a huge collector. His most treasured collection was .. wait for it: teapots.

he tried to save Keith from being arrested once and ended up being arrested too lol

wanted to write a scifi concept album but desorted the idea and gave some songs to the who (905) or Pete

was a good cook apparently

When he gave a hug HE was the one who decided when to let go sdfghjk

hated confrontation and would hire other people to tell someone bad news

he spent so much money on dumb shit like wtf

but didnt really care either

probably the master in picking up and seducing girls

he let his stepdad live in the quarwood mansion when he wasnt there but Gordon was still an asshole wtf

the contact to his real dad was really sporadic

when the who ended, it hit him really hard and he didnt know what to do besides partying and buying stuff/hording stuff

was very insecure and selfconscious in the 80s according to Maxene :(

he actually took pete breaking up the who really personal and was sad 24/7

was that kind of guy that said bad stuff about the who but when you said bad stuff he would try to kill you on spot

with cocaine he felt really confident and still like the 60s/70s rockstar he once was but he didnt understand that these times were over and he needed to move on

sometimes went into random pubs with friends and made jam sessions for the guests

he still was generous and loving until he died and tried to play with other bands but it was not the same

he really liked Kenney and hung out with him more than with his wife at some point lmao

was a total giver and people who worked at quarwood would steal money from him but when someone pointed that out he got angry with that person for even suggesting that

was a real softieee (and a huge nerd)

all his friends said that he was shy at first but once you got to know him he would come totally out of himself, was very funny, loved to tell stories, was very very loyal and would try evertyhing to make you laugh aww

all in all a glorious story with a sad ending and he did destroy himself completely, but lets remember that Pete Townshend described old John still as "wonderful, mature and elegant” so lets cling on to that :)

[fuckingfinwions]

it's pretty fucking rich of curufin to call the servants perverts for doing what he/his family forced them to do! omg! also i love the detail that sometimes fingon is just like 'suffer bitch' and doesn't stop curufin from getting his own self in trouble. i wonder what celebrimbor thinks about all the tension between the three of them--he must be terrified, poor bby. also i love the detail that maedhros believes in thematic/ironic punishment. i imagine he does it a lot to curufin esp when hes str

*stressed abt ruling the noldor and whatnot. i wonder if he ever directly tells curufin that if he actually put any effort into it that he *might* be the best sex slave/concubine? just to have more 'competition' btwn him and fingon? (and maybe its just a ploy, hes much fonder of fingon just for actually just getting on with it and not being so annoying). also maglor and his elaborate shows. maglor sounds insufferable. is he rlly perfectionistic and dramatic with his directions/ideas/visions? ver

*very particular and demanding? i can also see some really dark domestic humor with like, maedhros being like 'tf are my sex slaves' and it turns out they're all tied up in rlly weird ways running through 'rehearsal' for the 50th time that night or sthg and maglor is like 'oh damn its morning? i hadnt noticed' and ends up having a very very weird party a few weeks later full of avant-garde noncon horror that his pretentious artsy friends who all applaud his 'vision'. also i had wondered, if maed

*maedhros ever feels like he needs to punish nolo or fingon but in a more 'ironic' way, does he do it by forcing them to punish or touch eac other? like if fingon winces or flinches at jsut the wrong moment or something 'oh if i'm so disgusting then i'm sure you'd prefer him to rim you' and nolo is ofc desperate to fix the situation with his son hurt as little as possible. cant imagine curufin wouldnt be very upset too if celebrimbor is brought into his own punishments. cant see that ending well

Celebrimbor is rather terrified by the whole situation, but luckily, all of the other Servants are interested in keeping him safe. Curufin of course wants to protect his son. Nolo doesn't want this to be happening to anyone, and Celebrimbor is the only one he's currently able to make things less terrible for. Fingon thinks that Curufin deserves everything he gets, but Celebrimbor is innocent; and also that Curufin is probably bad at caring for people in general and a bad father. Curufin's defiance, coming at the same time when Fingon learns just how much his own father sacrificed for him and his siblings, just cements that belief.

In practice, this works out to Fingon teaching Celebrimbor a lot about both how to navigate life as a servant and just general socialization. Celebrimbor is torn between trusting Fingon's advice, because Fingon is acting like an older sibling/uncle and Celebrimbor misses that type of connection; and doing his best to stay far far away from Fingon, because Fingon hates his dad and might use him as a proxy, and also look what just happened with Celebrimbor's uncles.

(Also, I think just before he comes of age, Celebrimbor is going to decide he wants his first kiss to be with someone who is NOT Maedhros or Maglor. He might find one of the normal servants' teenage kids, or he might kiss Nolo, as the least scary option. Maedhros is unlikely to notice, and wouldn't be too upset as long is it didn't go any farther - there'd be a punishment along the lines of wearing a stimulating plug and a cage for a day.)

I like the idea of Maedhros encouraging competition, but I think he'd go for it sightly differently. "You always thought you were so special. So smart, could've been a genius at anything you chose, the only reason you didn't make a marvelous invention was because all the easy breakthroughs had just been discovered. But now I see you're mostly an idiot. You perhaps have a little natural talent at forgework, but with different birth could have spent your whole life making nails and horse shoes and never thought of anything greater. You can imitate if someone has already shown you the steps, but you have no creativity of your own. Nor can you figure out how to apply your skills to a new area, instead guessing blindly and patternlessly. Poor Inke, can't even suck a cock without someone smarter telling him how to do so."

Maedhros purposely avoided directly mentioning Feanor. That tends to just make Curufin more defiant, reminded of his pride and that he ought to be a prince. Also, Maedhros is not sure Feanor would actually approve of his actions, and Feanor's potential anger on his return is a bit of a mood killer. Being immortal, Feanor never felt a need to discuss in detail what would happen if he died and Maedhros took the throne. Maedhros is confident he's following Feanor's example, but some instructions might have been nice.

Curufin is now going to try and be the best lover Maedhros has ever had, purely out of spite.

Yes, dark comedy where Maedhros wants Fingon to ride him, but he's too exhausted from practicing double pirouettes where he jumps and lands with his cock an inch away from a spiked post. Maglor says it symbolizes the short distance between despair and desire. Curufin then fucks him using a strap on that he's wearing backwards (symbolizing fear of intimacy) while Nolo does the splits and fingers himself (symbolizing the loss of community in modern society).

Maedhros just thinks that, as king, there ought to be someone with enough energy to get him off the way he likes. Maglor says he's an artist, you can't expect him to make a masterpiece without using all the instruments. Maedhros is privately thinking maybe he should have made Caranthir crown prince, then he'd only be down two at once as Caranthir pretended to be a sadist rather than a masochist, or maybe one of the Ambarussa.

I think Maedhros ends making Nolo officially allowed to refuse sexual orders from Maglor it's been going on for longer than five hours. Also, despite Maglor's protest of artistry, if it involves nudity or genitalia it counts as sex. Nolo isn't Maedhros's favorite, but he's pretty enough, and both Curufin and Fingon would totally take advantage of the out.

Maedhros makes Nolo and Fingon punish each other sometimes, by making them be the one to inflict pain. But he doesn't use sex with each other as a punishment. They''re just so hot, he wants to watch them touch each other multiple nights a week, and he's not the type to make up new rules as an excuse for punishments. And the point of a punishment is that it's something the person involved dislikes, true, but it's also supposed to be something that they can avoid, so that you actually change their behavior. Maedhros likes ordering Nolo to kiss Fingon, and kiss a line down his body, stopping to caress every inch of him as if he's the most beautiful thing in the world. No one believes that Maedhros would stop ordering it if Fingon didn't disobey, so it doesn't work well as a deterrent.

Re: Celebrimbor being brought into Curufin's punishments, I had an idea for "power play" which I didn't end up using. Maedhros is trying to get Curufin to behave, and Curufin is being stubborn, and also insulting Maedhros. So Maedhros beats Curufin with a crop, then ties him to Maedhros's bed.

Maedhros sets oil and a very large set of anal beads on the bed. Then he draws the bed curtains.

"I'm going to have my dinner here by the fire tonight. Celebrimbor is going to bring it to me, and wait on me throughout. When I've finished eating, I'll check on you. If you have all the beads inside you and your cock hard, I'll send Celebrimbor away for the evening while I play with you. If not, I pull back the curtains, and he gets to sit by and watch you. Do you understand?"

Curufin nodded. "Are you going to gag me?"

"Why would I do that? I don't mind if your son overhears you moaning."

[belovedmuerto]

not!fic

Every time I watch the end of CQL I decide I want something different. This time it’s this:

So Meng Yao doesn’t kill the Nie captain but leaves the Nie for reasons, saves LXC and goes undercover with the Wen blah blah blah. Sunshot goes the same. WWX still gives his brother his golden core, saves the Wen Remnants, etc.

Meanwhile, JGY is acknowledged by his dad and gets to know his older brother a bit. 

JZX in the meantime has perhaps figured out his shit a little better, realized he doesn’t want to do things the way his father does, adores his wife and new babe, really likes his clever ass new didi. Starts making quiet noises about finding his other half-sibs because he wants not much more than a big family and he figures if there’s one, there’s probably several more. His dad is gross. He is at heart a simple and lonely man.

JGY quickly realizes that no, actually he isn’t quite willing to do whatever it takes to earn his father’s approval? His father is actually a huge power hungry asshole not really any better than WRH, just like. Less insane. Probably. He might… need to die?

He’s not averse to a bit of murder, but he also thinks perhaps he’d rather be useful and appreciated by his brother than powerful at all costs. 

Also, JYL lets him hold the baby whenever he so much as looks longingly at little A-Ling, which is nice. And she also appreciates him and how clever he is. She tells him all the time and asks him for help navigating the viper pit. She seems to... trust him? It’s a new feeling.

Basically JGY goes team “my siblings ” instead of team “me against the world”.

JGS dies mysteriously. What a shame.

JZX takes over as sect leader, cleans house. He’s not here for the backstabbing and machinations. And he’s so happy. He has his very smart wife at his side. She might be a little sickly sometimes but turns out those Yunmeng Jiang are not to be fucked with, esp. when it comes to family.

NMJ shows up like “yo, XY needs to die for his crimes” and JGY and JZX look at each other and go, “yup here you go fam”. XY is publicly executed.

(Somewhere in the countryside, a couple of rogue cultivators somehow accidentally adopt an urchin girl? Yeah, Song Lan’s not sure how it happened either, but she’s fiesty. He likes her.)

JGY becomes his brother’s staunchest defender and advisor, and in return JZX can and will banish anyone who says shit about JGY. (Zixun is the first to go.) (They both listen to JYL, because she’s the best.)

Together, they find MXY and QS and welcome them into the family. JZX is ecstatic! He went from no siblings and an asshole dad to three siblings and no asshole dad! 

So things are pretty good. They missed JL’s one month celebration because whoops JGS died right before, so they do a one year.

Just beforehand, JYL comes to her little brother in law like “look A-Yao, we gotta sort out this shit with my didi. He can’t keep living on a mountain of corpses with a bunch of old people, a doctor, a zombie, and a baby. Help me, pls.”

And JGY is like “how do u know, everyone says he’s got an army.” He’s not evil but he is cautious. There are plenty of rumors still, even if JGS isn’t the one starting them.

And JYL is like here, and hands over the increasingly desperate letters from JC she’s been getting, cuz JC has visited a couple times and cannot convince WWX to leave w/o the Wen but clearly they’re going to starve.

So it comes out that JGS was even more full of shit than everyone thought. JYL and JGY go to her hubs and JZX is like “wtf dude no that’s super not cool” and they take a small contingent of mixed Jin who are now decent people and Jiang so WWX doesn’t freak out, and JC goes, and JYL insists on going and taking A-Ling, because she knows if WWX sees her and the baby he’ll know that it’s not a war party and won’t come out swinging.

Along the way LWJ shows up, because chaos (it’s early for that but shhhhh), and everyone is like “sure, whatever”.

WWX is waiting at the barrier with a buncha black mist swirling around him like “these motherfuckers are finally trying me” right up until he sees his didi, his zhiji, his shijie with his nephew and her hubs at the font of the small contingent, and then he more or less breaks down crying. It ends up being a nice reunion. They all troop up to the camp, where everyone is horrified and the Wen are like “join us for dinner. We have radish soup” and A-Yuan is clinging to his Xian-gege and his rich-gege and then insisting upon meeting the baby. He gets to give A-Ling the bracelet that he made for him.

JGY is lowkey like “sure am glad I killed my dad, he super deserved it.”

JYL is like “sure am glad my brother in law killed my father in law, he super deserved it.”

JZX is like “sure am glad my dad died under mysterious circumstances i am not thinking about and that my didi is awesome and likes me.”

LWJ and WWX circle each other a while after things are settled. The Wen have moved down to some land around Yiling and are starting to thrive. WQ and WN have more or less been absorbed into the Jiang, WWX is back home and bickering with his brother. 

Wen Qing wants to throttle them both.

A-Yuan is with WWX and doing great. He already considers A-Ling his cousin.

LWJ eventually writes to JYL about WWX like “pls help, ur brother is an oblivious dumbass” and JYL goes to her brother in law like “how do you feel about matchmaking?”

So they wrangle LWJ and WWX together.

Along the way JYL sees the way JGY looks at LXC and NMJ and then happens to catch NHS’s eye and they come to a swift and silent agreement regarding that situation, which is also resolved to everyone’s satisfaction and basically JGY gets to spend the rest of his life being useful and appreciated with a large family and getting dicked down on the regular by two sect leaders the end.