#esp me liking a main character for once
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“they had something” and it’s gihun and frontman ?? im sick
#THEY HAD WHAT? CUS ITS CERTAINLY NOT ENEMIES TO LOVERS#people would ship two brain - eating amoebaes if they were somehow male#and that’s exactly what’s in their fucking heads. it’s the same way fyozai makes no sense to me#a ship doesn’t need to be good for it to work and characters esp ENEMIES should always have some kind of chemistry and understanding of#each other. because that’s what makes it good WITHOUT#ROMANCE. but what i’m tired of it opening any platform and seeing every male relationship (non romantic meaning) boiled down#old man yaoi ….. you’re sick. you’re actually sick like ?!!!!:£:73!:/&/83&&:£: HELLOOOOOOO#HELLOOOOOOOOO#idc it doesn’t make sense to me like call me a hater but im like ??? y’all could have shipped him with jungbae. but you won’t bcs he’s not#attractive to you …. like i’ll say it once and shout it again im sick#it’s the same fucking thing with alien stage man like it was created by two lesbians and has to women front and centre to kick it all off#and the main character is a woman and yet its a BL? KYS#i’m tired. like i don’t hate shipping but im tired of predicting that people will yaoi-ify anything#two ants are looking at each other rn over a crumb of bread and someone would say they’re star crossed#that ant will give up the crumb for his love bcs he needs it more or some shit#yawn. anyway rant over but tldr shit makes no sense to me anymore and it i see one more gihun and frontman edit im propelling myself#into traffic. in front of the person who made it#like some people just can’t let things be non romantic and it’s ??????? sometimes it’s better when it’s not#like not romantic i mean. sometimes things are better when they aren’t trying to fuck each other#the amount of typos can u tell im irritated HDJSJSJSJS#i try not to let this shit bother me but atp it’s all i see. i don’t want jayvik or gihunfrontman smut on my timelines grandpa im tired
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this is so real actually, lets talk about it
#also made me laugh fr. esp the 'welcome to the world lesbian nat'#mine#my talking tag#YJ posting#nat posting#will let this digest...#they r t4t#and its just like.. the whole theme of fucked up girlhood and shit of yellowjackets and the wilderness... IT MAKES SENSE#i once saw someone say something along the lines of (abt travis) 'hes just a girl!!!1!1' but like. to my knowledge. didnt actually play-#-around w/ an actual trans girl hc?#which is like#not surprising :/ since ppl LOOOOVE to say shit like that but REFUSE to actually see the character in question as a trans girl#but gosh... gosh... this has opened my eyes fr#i dont rly care for travis much . but god..#you feel me?#im not gonna main tag but like... do you feel me
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was looking through old posts and i'm surprised to see that i seemingly didn't have any commentary on anything in 3 in chapter 7, 8 or 9, the posts related to 3's story go from "my first reaction when i saw yopple-bot was 'i love you. but also you are definitely the boss for this chapter-'" to "i have been in hell all day. hell being bada-bing tower." funny to me cuz those chapters are like, the best ones sdfkljsdfjfsdkjlfsdjkl-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#i love dukesville. yo-kai watch wild west. though also everyone in bbq talks like they're in the wild west-#i don't blame myself for not having any commentary on hazeltine mansion tbh. it sucks ass. i mean it's kind of fun but like#god is it annoying. i think using the mechanic of switching between nate and hailey for puzzles is a cool idea but. bad execution#very bad execution. it is so annoying#especially the section where you're in the basement and have to use the drill a bunch#... why are there prison cells in the basement anyways??????? i just realized how fucking weird that is-#i'm mostly just annoyed by the dining room puzzle tbh. i KNOW the fucking answers but verygoodsir is an ASSHOLE for some reason#and won't let me choose the FUCKING CORRECT DOORS#3's so fucking amazing tbh. i really wanna replay it soon. don't wanna have to delete a save file though#wish 3 had three save files like 1 and 2. i get why though i mean it's the biggest 3ds game klsfdjfskjfsdjksdf-#i wanna like. actually use my originyan for once. i might just end up using nyases ii instead tho fsdkljjdsfjskd-#i love every chapter in 3 after nate and hailey meet tbh. the bestie moments are so good#though also i don't think it was an amazing idea tbh. it means there's six main characters after that point#sometimes one character will go several cutscenes without talking at all. it's usually buck#he doesn't have any dialogue during any of the key quests in new yo-kai city. which is pretty amusing admittedly#i think the writers just forgot about him or something fslkdjdfslkjfsdljkdf-#i think my favorite thing related to that is like. during the stuff in bada-bing tower komasan and komajiro are there too#but they don't have any dialogue. which makes it seem kind of pointless#i get why they're there plot-wise but like. at that point you should either have them leave before you go to bada-bing tower#(esp since they don't end up in the ufo with everyone else. idr if there's a reason for that there probably isn't-)#(i think i slightly blocked out everything in bada-bing tower cuz it is so grueling)#or just. give them dialogue???#i love 3 and all but it definitely has some problems-#which is why i'm so excited to rewrite it <3 for both of those reasons. i can fix things. and also it's the best game#just. full-stop. not just the best yo-kai watch. i just think it's the best game ever#that title changes based on my current biggest hyperfixation though sfldfsjdkslfdjkfdj-#i think i'd say my overall top 5 is like. yo-kai watch 3. deltarune. ummmm. fantasy life is up there
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actually yeah im making a quick poll on this. for anyone who has been around long enough to remember when i made my massive clamp readathon situation (in which i read every single one of the works they put out) be everyones problem. hi. im doing it again but much worse now. reading about 400 volumes (and more if i can find more) of tezuka osamu's work. i am just curious on the general consensus of if i should upload thoughts as i read each one (ie: one post being like i finished kimba/jungle kingdom, heres my thoughts) or just have a MASSIVE post of hey. read them all heres my thoughts (as i did with clamp. which is when i found out tumblr had a max text limit)
#twist rambles#i KNOW this is smth most of u do not care about. however comma. im curious what would be better. esp as like... about 50?? i think percent#of these have no translation fan or official. so its smth where i think discussing the plot/characters/art or whatever could be fun :)#but its also like. obviously a lot. for comparison the clamp stuff was abt 90 volumes (half of them being holic and trc). so this is far#worse. i could read all of naruto 5.5 times over in the time this will take me to complete it. so its smth where i do want to like... get#opinions on. either way i dont plan on liveblogging for most of it other than if i find a silly panel (the really good mw panels u will#ALWAYS be famous <- i post them every time i read i think. theyre very good to me). i do however plan on coloring a panel or page from each#series as my OWN personal way of having a physical way of holding onto my memories w it. sorry this is so long and rambly but im gearing up#for this massive project and by god i need to get ppl to read dor.oro. <- my goal or something. please. its very good.#tzkposting#<- all of my posting abt this will/has been under this tag so its not... in the main tags lmao.#sorry for the rambling but. hi. please vote :3 im making a big spreadsheet for stuff bc like... a lot of his stuff is hard to source so onc#im done w that nightmare situation ill probably post that somewhere bc the days of work ive done on all this should be put out there lol#gonna srb this a few times through the day to get like... an idea of what ppl would prefer :)
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I love that valve is immune to sequelitis. They just make their games better
#ive heard some people argue that l4d2 is a downgrade#and i can KINDA see it because it doesn’t go as hard for the serious ambient vibe#and instead goes in a more silly direction#but imo its a lot better than l4d1#especially the characters#i love the main 4 so dearly#esp rochelle and ellis#maybe the helicopter…. maybe its made out of chocolate#^ interaction between NEITHER of the characters i just mentioned lolll#i love rochelle ellis though its such a fun vibe. big sister little brother energy#or maybe funny cousins that meet once a year and hit it off like CRAZY every time#rochelle and ellis going for a long ‘walk’ at the family gathering while nick and coach sip beers on the couch and watch football#to me ellis is like. fairly innocent guy that easily gets roped into funny schemes (like by his buddy keith)#and rochelle is seemingly very composed woman that loves to let loose so i think like. neither of them come off like how they seem#but they shoot the shit together and encourage each other to have fun (murder zombies)
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Hello hello excuse me why the absolute fuck can you not mute words on bluesky I am going to combust that is such a basic thing?? What the fuck?? I might not use it until they implement that bc what is this. I just tried to mute bc I glanced at my timeline and read bg3 and remembered oh. Right. The thing that makes me avoid all streams rn. (good game, specific character brings bad thoughts up, don't ask, twt is already agony since but not anyone's fault the mute function there sucks). Also like me and a lot of other people got more standard bad stuff they don't wanna see and don't want to start muting whole accs we follow??? There is a free extension I need to figure out how to get on mobile (shouldn't be too hard for me) but I shouldn't need to do that for such a basic and no brainer function. Idc if it comes later stuff like that should be there from day 1. Like even if no-one would post abt the most standard triggering topics literally everything can be a potential trigger for someone even the most harmless stuff.
#Fuck it on main instead of private bc why the absolute fuck did I not hear complains abt it prior?? Wh???#All this talk how bluesky is so good and then I find out I can only mute whole accs and not words#Friend if you're seeing this I love and support you and also your focus on exactly that character#I just wish the mute function over there would work like on here#Maybe someone else doesn't know abt it either and learns abt it through my complains. Please please say it's one of their top priorities to#implement bc otherwise what the fuck. Esp w more and more people on there.#That game is day to day dependent + headmate specific but like still?! I am so concerned abt the more heavy stuff that needs to get muted#Not to say that doesn't hit I mean how heavy the thing itself is. Not what it triggers bc there it's def heavy#Pain agony etc fucking hate it. The mutelists are a cool feature but yknow maybe give the option for smth less extreme too??#I'm gen so fucking mad at this#New social media and bam looking at my feed made inaccessible. Amazing. Inaccessible unless I take risks which ain't it#Anyways another day where I purely prepped stuff closed w a post before passing out huh#Busy making a list of people I follow on twt to finally abandon it once paywall hits without losing anyone#Plus a new site thingy w all identity stuff and also new social equals new crd. Didn't even open any mobile games OTL#So much personal work ugh#And then I also got icon n moodboard ideas for later... free me#At least we now have a system name will share it later. Maybe when I wake up.#A wild lux appears
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Hii Clari, i agree that a lot of dialog and character development in genshin is very lacking, and the characters become interesting AFTER they go through the readers' filter and we fill their personalities. I know you are no longer writing for the genshin men but do you plan to share any of the pieces you were working on even though they are discontinued? Regardless, have a great day <3
hi anon bb!! exactly!!!!!! exactly. the characters are pretty much just a collection of traits and a handful of memories with a name slapped on them. we, as the players, can then take those traits and make something out of them—make them more cohesive, or explore how we personally think the character would act and behave in a specific situation based on the collection of traits the game gave them. and for the type of game genshin is, that’s fine! like it clearly isn’t a game that’s super focused on character development and depth, especially since again the main goal is to keep players spending money and grinding for the new characters that are constantly being churned out, making the other characters feel just like cardboard acquaintances you meet once or twice and then move on from as they stay static or disappear completely. it’s a lot more focused on gameplay and combat, and that’s okay, it just isn’t my thing.
i do plan to share those pieces, but they’re being reworked for other characters that aren’t the genshin men. so the alhaitham x reader x ajax piece will either be for keigo n dabi or chuuya n dazai; the tutor!alhaitham piece is now for clive, and the royal!au with ajax n thoma i have no idea what to do with, but i’m sure i’ll figure it out. the point is, i put so much work into those stories and love them way way waaaay too much for them to just sit abandoned in my documents. when will these be released??? no idea. i’m so dang behind on literally all of my writing; work has me totally swamped atm, life has just been super chaotic in general, and yesterday someone very close to me suffered congestive heart failure, so i’ve just been having trouble finding the time to work on anything other than my tiny lil prompt pieces :( you’re so sweet, thank you so much!! i hope your weekend is going splendid <3
#you totally get it#and it’s not like i don’t see the appeal with the characters like i 100% do#there’s still so much u can do with them as a fan creator#i just personally got so bored of the stale source material that i completely lost interest#i do miss haitham n ajax sometimes#i definitely feel like they’re some of the more developed characters#esp ajax like i have a feeling he’s going to be pivotal to whatever story hoyoverse is trying to tell lmao#even tho it’s meandering so bad bUT ANYWAY#who knows!!! maybe once the main storyline is more cohesive i’ll pick it back up again??? i have no idea#lately all of my free time has been going to amnesia memories LMAOOOOO#i just love vns so much#ikki reminds me of ayato tbh#anyway!! stay safe out there anon and pls drink water!!#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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OT13 Reaction -- to you showing up at their work
masterlist
SCOUPS: his first instinct is that something is wrong. rushes up to you with worry in his eyes and asks if everything is okay. brightens into a big smile when you tell him you just wanted to see him! excuses himself from practice to join you for lunch before dropping you back home. it hurts that he has to leave you to go back to work but your surprise has rejuvenated him.
JEONGHAN: smirks to hide how unbelievably happy he is to see you. makes fun of you, asking if you really missed him that much?? it's only noon, baby. miss me already? gets flustered when you say yes. pulls you into whatever shenanigan he's cooking up with the members.
JOSHUA: is a little shy to interact with you properly in front of the members. whines when they make fun of him for looking at you with such loving eyes. pulls you to the side to express how grateful he is that you came to surprise him at work.
JUN: initially upset he even had to work on a day off, your presence cheered him up so much! feels his energy coming up just from seeing you. drags you over to meet his members, bragging about how he has a wonderful gf and they do not.
HOSHI: cannot stop looking at you during practice. it's the only time the other members see him distracted during work, esp during dancing. he just can't help it - how can he work when you're right there?? rushes to you immediately once break is called.
WONWOO: is very flustered and caught off guard that you're here. chides you for making the trip over here, saying you could've just called him if you missed him sm. shows his appreciation through actions, leaving practice early to show you around, taking you out on a date after.
WOOZI: he's so in the zone he doesn't notice you've entered his studio until your arms are around him. flinches thinking you're Hoshi coming to annoy him, but melts into your arms once he realizes its you. apologizes that he still has to finish a couple more songs, orders you food and dessert so you can be comfy while waiting. gets inspiration for his lyrics just by seeing you sit there.
THE8: is so happy you're here. although he tries his best keeping his cool in front of his members, he can't help but giggle every time he sees you're acc here. death stares every member that tries bothering you, claiming that you're here for him, not them. (¬⤙¬ )
MINGYU: eats up all the attention. brags to his members openly about how lucky he is that he has a girlfriend who surprises him at work! brags even more when you pull out food you ordered for them all. nags until all the members thank you profusely, making you flush under the amount of attention.
DK: screeches when he sees you within company walls. you look so out of place here! but so pretty! AH! his brain fries a bit, clinging onto you as he tells you he never expected you to show up at his work. is sosososo excited to show you exactly what he does as an idol.
SEUNGKWAN: becomes the coolest idol persona ever the moment he sees you're here. he's trying his hardest to impress you like - yes bby this is how i usually am at work, so cool right? - introduces you to EVERYONE possible. knocking on enhypen's door? yes. showing you to the manager? yes. the building janitor? you're saying hi to him too.
VERNON: his face turns SO red the moment the members point out you're here. gets all shy (the 218 bro vlive with DK) and hides behind his jacket/beanie. cannot say more than 5 words to you the entire time, knowing he'll malfunction and forget about working. expresses how grateful and loved he feels once you guys gets home.
DINO: solidifies in his mind that he IS the main character. parades you around to show everyone he has a gf!! clings onto you the whole time - basically gets nothing done the whole day. it's like he can't be more than 2 feet away from you or he'll die. you end up getting a text for S.Coups telling you you can't come back or else Dino will never get anything done.
#seventeen ot13#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#svt#svt fluff#seventeen#seventeen blurbs#svt reactions#svt scenarios#seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#jun x reader#wonwoo x reader#woozi x reader#hoshi x reader#the8 x reader#dk x reader#mingyu x reader#seungkwan x reader#vernon x reader#dino x reader
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i finally figured out how to deal with the raiden shogun weekly boss
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#without fucking dying every two seconds at least because i refuse to level up noelle just to be a shield bot#she'll get her time to shine whenever i build a mono geo team#but until then i really have to focus on my current two main teams#literally half of them are newly acquired and therefore barely leveled#anyway#green regen food is much better than blue instant health food#i think this time i only had to revive once or twice#(yeah i know it's bad bad esp considering i'm ar 50+,but cut me some slack okay i'm a mobile player)#and all the food and potion buffs i can cough up#boy howdy my frog count is crying rn#yk for my chong still only being at c0 (which is depressing i hope to god he comes back to the event banner with either yoimiya or kazuha)#(it's been too long hoyo. last time was literally itto's first rerun. make it happen goddamn it)#(as i was saying)#and also for having ass artifacts (so sorry my son ;-; but tbf every single character i own has random bullshit artifacts)#(i'm holding off on artifact farming until my two teams are fully ascended and have at least decently upgraded talents)#(probably an inefficient decision,but i'd rather use my resin on materials i'm definitely going to need instead of sending resin#down the drain for what's most likely still going to be ass artifacts that are only good for fodder)#(ANYWAYS) he actually manages to hit numbers above 5k semi-regularly. which is still bad to most i know. but again#this is a c0,horrendously built chong#just let me be happy with this milestone okay ;-; it wasn't too long ago that 2k would make me entirely too happy#man i sure rambled in this post huh
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followup eons later i legitimately love mako's character but i think its so gross every girl in this series so far exists almost solely for the purpose of being a love interest and it wouldnt matter but the active choice to have mako abandon her passion bc shes sad men dont like her bc shes a better racer than them is insane and a subplot only a man would write
eeughhhh i have. thoughts. on how the girls in initial d are being written so far
#im not gonna sit here and say a girl feeling like that is unrealistic esp at her age; being young and dumb etc#but. she isnt a real person. shes a character written by a man and shes one of three named female characters in this series so far#with the other two being natsuki who is takumi's love interest who i wouldnt be able to tell you anything about beyond her being his love#interest as well as that she has a sugar daddy. thats literally it.#and the other is mako's copilot and idr her name bc shes had probably less than 10 panels so far. i already know she'll hardly be an#important character after this arc#mako couldve been a good recurring racer character (for all i know she will be and she wont quit racing after this arc idk!! but it doesnt#bode well that this is whats happening so far. and once again. the fucking virginity thing just. grosses me out so much. i get it this girl#has low self esteem and is??? shy?? huh? idk shes written by a man thats the only thing i have to explain this abysmal plot point#it's gonna take a lot to recover from this. i just hope she gets a graceful end to her arc. ugh. god.)#i hope shuichi shigeno mostly writes male characters from now on. idk if i can handle more girls being introduced only to be reduced#to love interests for the rest of the main guys. kill me lol#end rant god sorry i had to get it off my chest ok!!!#obligatory rant tag#Also fuck one more thing#the fact that the first scene we see the sileighty girls in has them one-sidedly discussing how hot the takahashi brothers are is another#point against shigeno's ability to write women like aarghhh what do girls who like racing talk about??? uhhhh cars??? and uhhhh#hot men?? yea that sounds right. anyway.#they exist as eye candy for the male audience and barely as characters and it sucks god im fed up lol
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THE BALL OF LIGHT, i. | myg, jjk
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pairing: friend!jeongguk x fem!oc (ft. brother!yoongi)
genre: fluff
word count: 2.9k
summary: life of other people never mirrored yours and jeon jeongguk will never be yours, either.
pin: ball of light / taglist: join / discord: join / masterlist: run
cp: ao3 / wp
warnings: smoking, suggestive but not described thoughts of nudity, pessimism, orphancy / the members in this series are fictional.
note: everybody, welcome the new series. it is a multiple member-centered fanfic, so the names you see in the title don't necessarily mean the pairing is endgame or anything like that. who the main love interest is will be a surprise that the fic will slowly reveal. trust the process with the first chapter. it's short on purpose and i will reveal the information and quicken the plot along the way. let me know what you think. reblogs and esp comments are mandatory unfortunately in the hoseoksluna house:/ ...... sfjsldfjsldfj ENJOY. i love u guys! should i crosspost it on wattpad? (im scared of wattpad)
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… Or was his destiny from the start To be just one moment Near your heart?
(Ivan Turgenev)
— an epigraph from the book White Nights by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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Your brother Yoongi was always the pair of hands that would tug your legs down whenever you would fly in your books for too long. He did it out of tender care and fatherly kindness, calling your name in order for you to come join him in the kitchen for a meal. To be some semblance of a family after the tragedy had sunk its teeth into your bloodline. And what you had never imagined was that one day, you’d have to leave him behind to step inside a dream of this very reality.
Throughout the trajectory of your girlhood, you had lived inside the worlds of your books. Classical literature that carried more depth, more leniency, despite its hardships that the characters went through, than this world. The idea of love clung to you like a second skin, one you wouldn’t really receive from the two important roles in your life because you weren’t made out of love, but would find within flowery and difficult words of another time. Digging deep and understanding made you fall in love with it, seek it in school, in the streets and inside your own home, only to look and walk past those people still empty-handed.
In spite of it all, your palms were, somehow, still heavy. As if they carried something invisible for worldly eyes.
You would see it come to life whenever you would close yourself up in your room, with your folded legs, your short hair wild and with a book on your lap. Dostoyevsky taught you that love could be found upon a fateful coincidence and it marred you in a beautiful way that was pitifully disastrous. It forced your eyes to look for it everywhere, even through the reappearing pain of disappointment, and it especially forced you to look for it at home.
The hope remained even after both of your parents went to the other side of this love, beyond this world. They passed away due to an unfair illness. And because they went at the same time, you often found yourself thinking if they loved each other in the realm of eternity, when they very seldom loved each other in this temporary realm.
Your firm, ingrained dreaminess helped you cope with the sudden silence, the aftermath of your state of orphancy. You no longer had to reread a sentence in your book a thousand times, the once screeching voices beyond the door of your bedroom shunned out, dead, but still pulsing. The walls carried the ghosts of those parental fights and Yoongi… he, in his secret sensitivity to the paranormal, braided for you a bracelet of black thread. To keep you safe from those spirits, to help you heal.
He didn’t have one of his own, and that fact faultlessly described the new role he clothed himself in within this abrupt change. He would stare at the walls with a cold gaze, threatening them with power if they ever made a sound. He sat more at the kitchen table now than he did at his music station in his room, spine hunched over a myriad of bills that would make him pull on his hair until a bald spot formed. On the left side of his head, just above his ear, where his amygdala bloomed with black flowers.
You would come home from school, glide your eyes over his bare wrist pressed to his cheek, and touch the tense muscles over his protruded shoulder blades. You saw, vividly, the way his new role tore him apart and you wanted to help him. Physically and emotionally. But Yoongi rejected your help, rejected the emotions you were so willing to smooth out and caress with the lines of your palm that knew love from the way you caressed the pages of your books. He would get up from the table, tell you to shower, and he would walk to the kitchen to prepare you a meal, a meatless one because meat was expensive. He would wash his hands in the sink, let the cold water hide the strands of hair he plucked out of stress.
He would pretend that everything was fine when in reality, nothing was fine.
Your parents didn’t leave you a dime, but they let you keep the house you and Yoongi grew up in. Left an unpaid mortgage in your hands instead of happy memories, instead of love.
But Yoongi, he showed you love. He would show it to you by the way he would boil the water for you in the beginning of yours and his orphancy because he had no money to pay for the water bill and because all the money he had saved in his boyhood was used for funeral expenses. He would show it to you by the way your plate would have meat and his wouldn’t. And he showed it to you by the way he wouldn’t allow you to find a job and financially help him, but instead told you to focus on your degree. To focus on your dream. No matter how many times you pestered him that you could find a part-time job.
No, your dreams require your full attention, he had said once, that Yoongi-coded frown shadowing his features. Go study.
And so you bowed your head and silently left, retreating into your room while contemplating in your heart that Yoongi never knew what your dreams looked like. And neither did you. Not until they showed up right in front of you.
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It is a time perfumed by the upcoming winter, the November time of the present. Frost has been kissing each corner of glass one would stumble across in the city of Seoul, decorating it with its affection using its snowflakes. It’s what you’re looking at, perched with your shivering form on the bus stop with the only friend you ever had in your lifetime.
Or a so-called friend. You don’t think you would use the term friendship with a guy like Jeongguk.
He represented the unattainable aspect in the books you’ve read. The goal that hasn’t yet been reached. The agonized yearning that hangs by a thread around the character’s life. He embodied the aspect of pain itself—because if life had been a little kinder to you, he would be yours.
Life, however, isn’t kind.
Life is realistic.
You met the boy at a wrong time in his life. Passing by him on the stairway of your high school, you caught him in a tense, yet volatile situation of an emotional kind. Spring, still reminiscent of winter, had wrapped itself around your nineteen years of age, and you, dreaming a strange dream that you couldn’t wake up from, ran late for your class. You hadn’t spoken to him prior this fateful day, though you knew of his existence. He was just a background character that you didn’t pay any attention to until he blazed up with life and the sparks of sensitivity on that empty staircase. And you couldn’t take the other way; you couldn’t turn around and miss the class. You had to walk by him and his girlfriend at the time while they were in the middle of an argument that shook through the echo of the space.
You walked by them, but the encounter changed your life. It changed your life because Jeongguk’s cheeks were tearstained, glistening in the uncanny white of the staircase. His eyes were fixed on yours, his eyelashes wet and long—prettily, so terribly prettily. You quietly apologized, running up the stairs as rapidly as you could, and his eyes did not leave yours until you were out of his view. And then you heard the shuffling of feet and where there was an absolute turmoil, silence replaced it.
Jeongguk found you that very day.
Alarm was eclipsed over those puffy eyes, his eyelashes no longer wet, but still long, so terribly pretty. You were on your way out, exiting the building, when he grabbed a hold of your backpack, stopping you from disappearing. And when you gazed back with absolute horror, your short bob swishing around you, Jeongguk smiled a soft half-smile, which thinned out that negative emotion—as if he did it on purpose, not wanting to scare you.
What’s your name? he started with a question, his shoulders slouched and drooping, an evident tiredness misting him in a drowsy aura. His voice was strained, bubbling in his throat as if he either screamed his vocal cords raw or didn’t speak for a while, choosing silence. Both options turned your heart upside down, painfully. You felt a greater pity for him than you ever have for someone in your lifetime—and that was the beginning of all your firsts with him.
When you said your name, Jeongguk averted his gaze and nodded his head. You expected him to ask you which year you were born, but he kept his eyes low as he uttered the words, which made your pity for him grow into a bare tree with just one twig, a seemingly singular wing, within you.
I don’t know how much you heard, but Ka-eun didn’t do anything wrong. It was a misunderstanding and I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.
You had heard a female screaming, seething voice, but due to your sleepy state, you hadn’t made out what those words actually were. But remembering the tears dripping off of his lashes, you realized how hurtful those words thrown at his must had been. And while you thought about this all, Jeongguk took your hand, pried open your fingers and fished out of his pocket a small banana milk.
Ka-eun, the it-girl of the high school. Jeongguk protected her reputation, in spite of the fact that she didn’t deserve it at all.
That was the kind of person Jeongguk was.
It wasn’t the only encounter you had with him. He would smile at you and greet you while passing you in the halls. Would put banana milks sometimes on your desk early in the morning. Would sit beside you at lunch when he wasn’t on speaking terms with her. And he would confide in you while knowing nothing about you.
That’s the reason why you can’t call your intertwinement with Jeongguk a friendship. Certainly not, after the person he became when uni life spread its roots in yours and his and he chose the one opposite of yours.
The faculty of medicine stood facing your faculty of philosophy and literature, and Jeongguk, wearing his green scrubs and his oversized hoodie, would meet you during lunch breaks, insisting that you spend it together because he didn’t know anyone else and he was too anxious to meet new people because of what Ka-eun put him through.
But Jeongguk didn’t eat. Not so much like he used to.
The trauma and the difficulty of his field forced him to turn to cigarettes. And him blowing out the smoke the other way so you don’t inhale it while eating your lunch made another twig, another wing begin to grow on your tree within your chest for him.
You didn’t love him, but he was kind to you and he meant something to you. You never loved a man, besides Yoongi and Dostoyevsky. And Jungkook puffing out the smoke like that, he reflected Yoongi and his brotherly love for you in a way that made you dream. Dream about a romantic love that everyone else seems to have so easily, except for you. About that romantic love you read about in your favorite Dostoyevsky book White Nights.
But perhaps the affinity you had for Jeongguk was some kind of love that the books haven’t written about, at least later on. A kind of non-romantic love that you, yourself, came up with. A love that meant nothing in this world, but everything to you. A love that blazed up like the tip of Jeongguk’s cigarette that he lit up for you at the beginning of autumn of this year, letting you try it out just because he felt like it.
Another first that has become a habit.
You didn’t have money of your own to spend it on packs of cigarettes, but Jeongguk did. And he’s never been the kind of person who was stingy. He would give himself if he could, and it completes him—the act of giving and the other person’s response of receiving.
His eyes burst with light at this very moment, a few months later, just like they did the first time when he lit up a cigarette for you. Though this time, you don’t need his help. You feel their heat, in the middle of this frosty bus stop, as he watches you place the cigarette he pulled up from his pack for you, his own hanging from his lips, unlit. He always waits for you to light up your own first like the gentleman he is, but something about his gaze is different. You sense their intensity, their foreign, foreign intensity that you don’t think is meant for you. And when you take that first puff, you expect it to leave you—like you’ve learned that it always does—but for some reason it doesn’t.
There’s depth to the eye contact once you reciprocate it. Murkiness descends upon the pair of you, the sun parting ways with the day in a much quicker way that you still haven’t gotten used to. And along with it, a light layer of snow begins to fall.
Something is meaningful about it—like it should be written down. Jeongguk’s eyes of lingering seriousness, pensive. The snowflakes that settle upon his ebony hair. How silky they must be to the touch. Always so poofy and voluminous.
Your hands itch to write and Jeongguk doesn’t ask for his pink lighter back. He merely keeps staring, and you start to think that maybe something is weighing his heart heavily. Something personal that he will soon pour out. Like he always does.
You’re the listener, never the talker, but something inside you urges you, strangely, to make the first move. Get him talking, get him smoking, so he can go home, go to bed and awake with a fresh consciousness, ready to be filled with anatomy, sicknesses and all the other stuff he needs to cram.
The hand that longs to write lifts, and it feels natural. It feels natural to flick your thumb on the lighter and call fire to life. It feels natural when Jeongguk purses his lips, lifting the cigarette in the process, and holds it up for you while his hands remain warm in the pockets of his oversized black jacket. It feels natural to watch him suck in, the cheeks that carry too many memories of his tears hollowing out.
And for a second that is too brief, you let your soul imagine what it would be like… to have Jeongguk as your boyfriend.
To have the full, ceaseless measure of his love. The one that is meant for the better people, but not for you.
To have his hands touch your skin in a way that would convey what he feels for you—
“Have you told your brother yet?”
Too, too brief, that second. Internally, you take your imagination and sew it shut with a pink thread. Pastel pink, like his lighter.
The question aches as if you pricked your heart with the needle. You haven’t told Yoongi that you smoke one cigarette a day with a boy after school. You haven’t even told your journal. All in fear that the only life you ever managed to experience out of the realm of your books would simply disperse, never to be found again.
In fear that Yoongi would be mad and you’d add another layer of stress on top of his already high pile. In fear that he would yell at you like your father did over meaningless things.
“No,” you respond, softly, dropping your gaze to the ashy tip of your cigarette, flicking it off. The prickling sensation deepens as the iciness of the weather grows. You shiver, sighing. The tree in you does as well. “I’ll never tell him. Never—”
“Never in a million years,” he finishes for you, and your mouth parts in the overwhelming realization that you were wrong.
Jeongguk does know something about you. He remembers that this is a sentence that repeats in your vocabulary multiple times a day. And there’s such intimacy to it, him knowing this, him finishing the sentence for you, him being educated in the matter that bears your name.
Or perhaps not. Perhaps you’re too starved of any male attention, love and touch.
Your imagination in you fights against the seam.
“What happens if he sees you?” Jeongguk asks, and you pause before replying. Take a puff of your cigarette, watch as a miniscule star of mischief begins to live within the macadamia chocolate of his eyes—as if the principle of him secretly corrupting you utterly enthralls him. You picture that’s what he smells like underneath all those clothes of his, your imagination poking a finger through the seam. And you let it—you let it grasp you because it’s stronger than you.
Macadamia, musk, cedarwood.
The kind of lustful smell that is dark to the sight, but innocent in its core.
Behind him, the blue murkiness fully evens out, no hint of the sun’s coloring painting its corners with positivity. Pessimism abides, and you feel it burying itself into your literature-woven bones.
You’ve been waiting twenty minutes for the bus, Jeongguk even longer for his. The roads are long and empty, darkening the longer you stand here. The snow forms a firm layer on the ground, and you already anticipate Yoongi’s anger-infused worry, crawling all over you.
You turn to look at Jeongguk, your blood flow at full halt.
“War happens, Jeongguk,” you say, swallowing thickly. “If Yoongi and I see each other outside of the walls of our house.”
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#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts x reader#bts x oc#bts x fem!reader#bts x you#jeon jeongguk#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook fic#jungkook fic#jungkook fluff#jungkook imagine#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook x oc#jungkook scenarios#yoongi x oc#yoongi x reader#yoongi fluff#yoongi angst#yoongi fanfic#yoongi imagine#bts imagine#bts scenarios
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PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU
HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂
also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read
i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.
sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.
and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.
aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me
how much more. raw it is
to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about
with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note
because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.
it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going
and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.
or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.
sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.
and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.
i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.
there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.
contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.
her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.
there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo
with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.
the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.
unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.
however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.
their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.
taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.
even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.
but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.
to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.
and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.
i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.
idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.
i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.
to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.
back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.
but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.
no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.
even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.
not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.
it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.
but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.
sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.
but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck
lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.
hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.
ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.
maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.
and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.
they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.
they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.
optional post-canon segment:
one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).
hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.
that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again
but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.
it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it
idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible
srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)
#sorry if this isnt fully accurate heh its just my personal impressions/feelings#despite best efforts to simplify my annotations the wall of text still ended up massive#there's also a comparison i wanted to make abt characters who “broke up” from romantic expectations losing a lot of what they had before#dave(sprite)/jade‚ karkat/terezi‚ dirk/jake etc = which is why i think arasol was rescued by hussie on purpose. arasol endgame truth#ngl there mightve been more moments that shouldve been mentioned but i have no memories of... limited cloud storage#long post#ask#anon#homestuck#arasol#aradia megido#sollux captor#arapostings#2024#vioart#not disqualifying acespec/qpr reading i think its also possible :]#if anything i dont understand fanon killing off aradia for their sollux ships haiyaaa why is this trope so damn popular#every time i open a slkt fic and aradia is dead i go outside and burn a tree. global warming could not come sooner#slkts who treat aradia like dvkts treat jade…. i punt u football style
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Astrology observations #2
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-people who lack an element in their chart really do surround themselves with a lot of people in said element. for example, my friend lacks earth and has at least 4 friends who are earth sun signs
-some capricorns really can't get along with leos, but they are attracted to sag and aries placements. they can't help it
-mars in the 1st house get sexualised a lot, to the point it gets too much for some people..especially women. these people are also very ambitious. even when going through tough times, they never lose sight from their goals
-mercury in aquarius have a unique humor. the same goes for mercury in the 11th.
-virgo mercury pay attention to details, esp when they like you..the things they remember and gifts they give you, shows how thoughtful they are
- fire signs/houses..please tell me that you've been told at least once that you talk too loud. i have aries mercury and my friend mercury in the 9th and we both had a revelation that we talk too loud lmao
-well-developed capricorns are such sweethearts. they are reasonable and grounded, but they are also so funny and charming. they may appear as if they have everything under control at all times, but they're just like the rest of us
-water signs have the craziest dreams i swear😭some can sound like scenes from a movie, fantasy and/or horror
-moon in the 5th house/leo think about themselves a lot and take things personally. they think everything is about them. on the other hand, they have the biggest hearts and they want to make everyone they love happy. can you blame them tho for wanting to feel like a main character
-when you want to ease your mind, talk to someone who has a sagittarius mercury and they will cheer you up
-having an empty 7th house might mean that you don't have much, if any, relationship experience. you probably give good relationship advice though
-aquarius/11th house placements have their own strong moral code. they can usually hide their feelings well, but if they realise someone is being intolerant towards others and mean, they'll get really emotional. they want the world to be a better place, and get frustrated when they see how many people don't care
-capricorn placements may have really complex relationship with their parents. they often expect too much from their kids, and since they prove that they can endure almost everything, the parents don't loosen their grip. they need to know their worth and forget about the expectations!
-mercury retrograde can really cause communication issues for people. it is difficult for these people to express how they feel and stand up to others. but, it does get better with time!
-aries and taurus placements combo in a man can be very dark imo, they are often players. they also have huge ego problems. i dislike emphasizing only the darker parts of people, so i have to admit that these placements, if well-developed, can be very loyal and passionate especially with people they love. they are also incredibly hard-working and focused, it's really admirable.
-be careful when dealing with men that have virgo and libra placements in their chart. some may be romantic and attentive, while others can nitpick your every flaw and can have ridiculously high standards. they can cheat and lie easily as well
-sagittarius venus love adventure, having a partner who doesn't know how to have fun and explore things is a big turn off to them. they can make compromises for their more serious partners, but if they can't reciprocate the same effort, it's not going to work
-cancer risings seem very approachable and kind. their eyes are usually big and curious, almost childlike
-this has been said many times, but venus in the 1st individuals truly are beautiful. there is also something different and captivating in their beauty, they stand out wherever they go
-saturn in the 3rd house/gemini may indicate that a person faced speech/writing difficulties when they were young, or they continue to struggle with it
-pisces moons tend to forget things and their memory can betray them at times. as a pisces moon, i think that's because we are in our heads too much and we remember how we felt about things, not the words and actions. we also struggle with being present 100% of the time, so we perhaps didn't listen to you in the first place (i'm sorry)
take this with a grain of salt, since i only read about astrology in my free time!💜
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what's on your secret internal moodboard for your wake/g1d/pyrrha trifecta, esp with the first two (since pyrrha gets a lot of love as it is)? what are the biggest wellsprings you're drawing from/aiming for with everyone's favorite scourgin' mary and inverted brutus?
i could smack a big kissy on your face for such an apropos question !
wake
is everything to me. obviously. what matters to me with her is contextualizing her canonical violence and wrath (like achilles' wrath... HELLO... she's a mortal woman whose wrath dares to reach the heights of the gods and which ultimately destroys her...) in light of her role as the leader of a revolution. she's literally not purposelessly angry or purposelessly violent. I already blew up someone else's inbox about this today lol but imo the books portray BOE as a whole in kind of a clueless way from the liberal exterior viewpoint, that doesn't really get into what a revolutionary movement would themselves value and hold as their norms & ethics. and in regard to that, how and why they use violence, and how and why violence is so much a part of wake's language.
I'm reading the zapatista reader atm and have been for the last few months, not that i really see wake as a subcomandante marcos figure because she's not as much of a speaker/demagogue, more so that much like the indigenous resistance in chiapas the sheer cultural, linguistic, and political polyphony of any BOE organization must mean that wake is a brilliant, compelling figure that people want to follow. she's not a violent brute (one way she's often depicted in fandom too...) she's a POLITICAL LEADER who has united MULTIPLE WINGS THAT OPERATE COMPLETELY SEPARATELY to accomplish HUGE OPERATIONS THAT SEVERELY STRUCK AT THE ROOTS OF THE DEEPLY ENTRENCHED EMPIRE. like... she's 100% a compelling speaker and leader and someone you trust and want to follow into suicide missions, because you know she'll bring you success. and she had and did! you can't be stupid with how you use violence and achieve that level of success!
and the one thing you need to add to wake to make canon click with her humanity is literally just that—her internal truth and her humanity. the reason why she's doing what she's doing. because the cruelty of the empire broke her heart and she has enough life and fire overflowing in her to want to keep that from happening to anyone else. the rest all falls into place once you start writing her like that
I also see her as a figure of classical greek tragedy—she's the ultimate example of being destroyed by hubris (trusting a lyctor!!), and compared to the other two points of the triangle she's the most fragile and mortal, yet also the most explosive and larger-than-life. her life is a brief yet enormous blaze compared to g1deon's eternal stonelike misery and pyrrha's lone, flickering star. and because she pursued life so hungrily and overreached in striving with the gods for greatness (there we go with achilles again), she was always doomed to death. the domain of her lifelong hated enemy. wow someone should write some dactylic hexameter greek epic poem-style about her confrontation with her own mortality in the river and how her religious beliefs are thereby challenged and her rage is fanned enough to turn her into a revenant ^_^ ahem ahem
also i think because her main squeeze has a cock people are always making them fuck PIV style and i think that's boring tbh. i mean yes it's fun and sexy and we all love a good dicking down (well many of us) but i like having her and pyrrha fuck queer style because i think it's more reflective of her character to break boundaries, fuck with traditions, be a cunt who devours and circludes, violate the norms of cav-necro penetrative erotics, and aggressively top in pursuit of her own pleasure (in addition to which... well see the last paragraph of my pyrrha answer)
i also didn't even get into the virgin mary thing but in my BOE griddlehark fic i have kind of a marian ancestor worship cult around wake (props to @katakaluptastrophy for providing the thinking behind BOE's animist ancestor worship religion) and in my dactylic hexameter thing i have a big list of epithets by clarissa pinkola estés for the virgin mary/the madonna/the wild mother: obsidian blade... the undoer of knots... she who carries the soul across fenced frontiers... the shirt of arrows... the black madonna...
also listen to this impeccable wake playlist which I'm pretty sure is by @dve if i'm am not mistaken
g1deon
is ofc the dark horse in both the books and the resultant fandom. i've already written at length about what a disservice i feel both the books and fandom have done his character (try clicking 10 random wake/pyrrha fics and NOT finding a scornful comparison of how shitty a lover g1d is or what a douche he is generally as a tactic to differentiate him from pyrrha).
so for me what's important to him, and what defines his character, is the sacrifices he makes for john both pre- and post-rez. he's hector, he's the archangel michael, he's the archetype of warrior manhood !but! in an utterly self-abnegating way. this is one facet of the way john's necromancy takes everything positive (in the +-charged sense, not in the yay happy sense) and turns it inward, perverted, and starved.
unlike a man raised in a patriarchal warrior culture, g1deon has no pride or identity in his kills and the sacrifices he makes to accomplish them, and he has no brotherhood. the two people he truly loved were both women, and he killed them both for the sake of john's goals. and he used to have a brother, even, he and john used to be brothers, but john removed himself from that role w/ g1deon for the pursuit of power.
so any way i choose to depict g1deon will be as 1) someone with dignity and selfhood in a way that the fandom only rarely seems to think he deserves, and 2) someone with a heart who has loved and lost in the name of devotion. not that he's a soft man or that he hasn't done atrocious things in john's name. but it's just to counterbalance his book&fandom portrayal in a way i feel is more fair and interiorizing.
anyway stream swim good that's basically everything I wanted to say about him... i didn't write as much about him in this answer but we really don't get much of him in the books, SMH. I don't like to go too off-piste from canon but I want to take what's there and honor the humanity hidden within it. (I have to guess that we'll have more g1deon in alecto, right? it just wouldn't be fair otherwise, right? ... RIGHT?? T_T)
pyrrha
and you didn't say especially pyrrha but i think that my secret internal moodboard for pyrrha is important as well!!! in my 5 planned pyrrwakeon fics (3 currently pubbed), none are from pyrrha's POV, and that has a twofold purpose. 1) there are already a ton of fics from her POV, as you say, as well as a whole canon novel focused on her, and i want to explore the two under-served points of the love triangle, and 2) i actually really like her as an enigma.
e.g., something people neglect with her a bit i think is her suicidality. how else can you characterize someone who falls in love with landmines? the woman swallowed bleach for god's sake. jury's still out on whether she killed herself or g1deon killed her for their ascension (i have it as her killing herself in my g1dfic but i've been thinking and now i'm not so sure i want to go for that) but if there's one thing we know about pyrrha it's that she fucking loves doing shit that's very dangerous and a horrible idea, partially to feel alive, partially to feel dead and thereby free.
so therefore my theory on her caring for nona, and less so cam & pal, is an uncharacteristic break toward life and hope in the long long slide through samsara as a means of escaping soul death that has been her 9000-year undead existence thus far. but i find the depiction of this facet of her character to be far more compelling from the outside, such as, from wake's POV, or g1deon's.
ALSO SHE WOULD NOT WANT TO BE A MOM OR DAD AND DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT BEING A PARENT SORREEEEEEEEE (her "why did you bring along the baby" is about her pity for a helpless creature suffering yet more needless death, not that it's specifically hers and wake's, and her care for gideon nav & nona are on a soft human level despite herself because no one else will and not demonstrative of a secret desire for parenthood STOP MAKING WOMEN CHARACTERS WANT TO BE PARENTS *panting & swallowing bile*)
anywayyyy very very very soon forthcoming to explore this final third of the triangle is my ultimate wake/pyrrha lying liars genderfic in which she, through the proxy of getting fucked by wake, wrestles with her grief over losing both her own body and losing g1deon as her lover/partner/friend. and you can bet wake just looooves being used as a proxy for someone else to work through their issues ^_^
...
in conclusion, wake/pyrrha/g1deon is a land of contrasts. let wake have political values, let g1deon be a fucking human being, and stop making pyrrha always top. thank u.
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Hello!
I just wanted to tell you that your art and way of storytelling is AMAZING. You're one of my biggest inspirations, and one of the people who got me into LMK (which I am very grateful for! Thank you so much)!!
I also have two questions for you (if you're not too busy! I dont want to bother you-)
What's your process for making illustrations? Yours look so pretty and they are so wonderful to look at!
And, what's your tips for anyone who wants to make a LMK fan-comic, but is a little scared to get something wrong? (Like good representation and cultural no-nos for example. I've done research, but the internet can be a little confusing and messy about topics like this, so I wanted to ask for help!)
I do hope that I'm not bothering you in any way!
Have an amazing day/night!
This is an oldie ask, apologies, but I do have a better way to answer this now! Typically, when I work on my pieces, I have 4 main phases: Roughs, Lines, Flats, and Renders! I'll use this Nezha piece as an example!
My Roughs stage includes getting references, color themes I may want, and feeling out the general vibe I want out of a piece! For this one, I really wanted to push Nezha's face expression (my main) as well as try to emphasize the speed at which he was moving.
Once I do that, I try to space out everything in the background, and refine the sketch with one more rough draft before moving on to the lines!
The Lines stage is pretty self-explanatory: this is when I line everything and make additional changes I may not have thought of from the Roughs stage: For this one in particular, I remember wanting to add details of more wear and tear, such as the sash being a bit damaged, or his bracelet getting cracks, or his face being a little scuffed up.
Next up: Flats! This is when I would flat color, as well as adjust the lineart to have colored lines (its already colored in the prior screenshot, but my lineart starts out all black) I find coloring the linart helps make the colors feel more "lived in" for lack of a better phrase
Finally, the render portion, which usually starts with the BG for me most times; I find if I know the environments colors/lighting it helps concrete where light is affecting the characters
This is your overlays, mutiply, and shine layers in action! Flat coloring makes my soul itch, but rendering really helps quell that pain for me; esp if I get to work with gold/hair shine! I hope that was helpful! And as far as advice for respecting cultural-related things, honestly, as an American I don't know much in the realms of specifics, but I do know to try to have basics understood, which I gather from what has been made thus far within LMK, reading the source material/fact checking information I come across, my own experience of being black in America, and reviewing travel advise funny enough. I wish you a good luck with your artistic journey homie!
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about your disability pride month post: is there anything important/significant you think people should take notes on when writing a character with an upper arm prosthetic? (like starting from the elbow if i phrased correctly)?
Yeah! I think the biggest is that you ought to consider first, esp if its an OC, your reasoning for making the character disabled- you wanna make sure you're not fetishizing or exploiting their disability to prop up abled characters. I've got a list of questions for authors to ask themselves along those lines that I can post or dm
Secondly, you have to consider what level of realism you wanna go with. If you have a character where, in universe, the prosthesis functions in exactly the way an arm does, you could just go with that if you want - it's the path of least resistance, right? BUT you ought to consider that most prostheses in media exist in that way AT THE EXPENSE of good representation of disability. Erasing disability or "curing" it with magical prostheses IS a form of ableism that is so pervasive it just goes unnoticed by most. I believe personally that disabled bodies are worth portraying well even when the creators of the source material did not do that. SO if you want to go with real well thought our representation, here are some common things I think authors and artists often miss (specifically as it pertains to upper limb prostheses):
1) I already said this, but seriously, I cannot emphasize enough that upper limb prosthetics ain't cheap and are usually uncomfortable. Your character, if they are poor, or even like middle class, won't have access to multiple high tech popular mechanics cover story type robo arms. Even if they did ...
2) Not all limb different folks use prosthetics! I personally have used multiple and I disliked them. I tried very hard to learn, but there are multiple requirements to be able to use each model and sometimes, a lot of times actually, limb different people - especially people without a hand or an arm function Better without prosthetics. Be aware in your art that limb different people are Whole. How you ask can somebody without an arm, say, do all that stuff?
3) Consider the idea of adaptation in your writing and art instead of relying only on magicking disability away with prosthetics. Disabled People live in a world full of barriers and tend to be Very creative about navigating it, adapting to our environment through just being a little clever about how we do things is the biggest way i see other people with upper limb differences interact with the world. There are three main ways that we go about this without prosthetics: Using adaptive equipment, Finding an alternate method, or as a last resort, asking for help.
Example 1: I have like 1.5 arms ok so obviously only 1 hand, and I need to clip my fingernails every once in a while. The obvious solution to me, while it may seem gross, is just to bite them off. Bad habit, but efficient. I could use those horrible little nail clippers, with my remaining stump and a little finagling but it takes forever. I could also get some adaptive nail clippers - they make great big handled ones for ppl that can't grab the little ones. Or, I could ask my partner to trim them, but I'm usually too proud to do that. Let disabled people have their flaws too lol!
Example 2: I love to rock climb. This is where adaptive equipment comes in. I could slip off a rock climbing wall pretty easily right? So bouldering (rock climbing without harnesses) is totally inaccessible to me. But if I go to a gym that has harnesses, then that's fine - they catch me if I fall and that's adaptive for me.
Adaptive equipment comes in many shapes and sizes and can be regular items repurposed.
3. If after all that you Must create art or write about an OC or preexisting character that uses upper limb prosthetics, consider that in general, limb different people's prosthetics are not equivalent to having two arms. Prosthetics are only practical for limb different people if they enhance your life or are useful in some way, however, getting one high tech enough to do that is unlikely because they are expensive. There are different groups, clinics, and charities that make lower cost options but they tend to be much lower tech than is depicted (and often are clunky). My first prosthetic was a long flat piece of metal, similar to a doctors tongue depressor, attached to a plaster cuff velcroed around my stump. The idea was that since I had a little bit of stump poking out, I could pin objects against the metal and it would work like a crab's pincers. It was okay, but I did accidentally smack many. Many. Things with it, including my own face and since it was metal, that was unpleasant. Obviously hindered more than helped. Also it did not look even remotely like a hand.
4. Which prosthetics you can get generally depend on what you got on you. Literally. Bodily. With upper limb prostheses, If you don't have an elbow or wrist, your options are almost exclusively limited to the pricier electric options that are both super futuristic, unavailable to many, and also like new car priced. Many of the manual, non-electric models depend on the ability to flex a wrist or elbow, so if you have those things are a little more accessible overall. It also matters whether you are born limb different like me, or if you are an amputee. Amputees are more likely to be candidates for prostheses than people like me because they have all those preexisting muscles and nerves for prosthetics that are higher tech and require surgical attachment Also prosthetics might be an easier learning curve, and more useful for somebody who has been abled bodied than it would be for somebody who never had that limb in the first place.
5. This is a little thing and ... Not to get too medical with it ( and neither should yall) but limb different people often have physical changes associated with lack of or loss of limb. If you do not have a limb, you are not going to be developing the muscles that are surrounding it in the way an a nondisabled person would. Again for example I have 1.5ish arms which means I've got plenty of stump on my "affected" limb. Even when I did Varsity sports and everything, I was never able to get beefy on that side. It is a pet peeve of mine that many people do not seem to get this - Most art I see of vash the stampede has him with two super beefy shoulders and like yeah i get it that's hot, but if hes got roughly the same amount of stump as me, he probably shouldn'tlook like that. Another thing in this vein is chronic pain is associated with limb loss and limb difference- I have it and its reasonable that any prosthetic user or nonprosthetic using limb different person is more likely to have it. Again these are little things but if you're looking to do good representation you need to consider that limb difference is not just a cool little stylistic choice to make a character look tough or what have you - limb loss and limb difference mean that that character will not only think differently than abled bodied people, but move differently, pose differently, have different routines and preferences than are ever represented in most media. Disability is not a style, and it's not a diagnosis, it's an identity. It's important above all to be respectful of that by letting go of centering able-bodied expectations and aesthetic in your art and writing. Hard to do but i believe in y'all!
Hope that helps! I've also got a bunch of links to go along with these points, if you want them lmk! I'm always happy to take asks about this stuff!
Tl;dr please consider making characters that don't use prosthetics, or don't use them excessively because it's more realistic, better representation, and makes me, a disabled dyke on the internet, really happy.
Lastly if y'all liked my advice and appreciate my time you are always welcome to tip me for it - my c*sh*pp is $neptunedrive
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