#esp before following me or sth

[hualianisms]

1–9 for the writing ask game

thank you very much for the ask!!

1. What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

if we're talking about first fic i wrote that was posted, then she-ra (catradora), though technically it was more of a poem than a traditional fic! if first ever fic, then technically an unposted warriorcats one when i was a child😭

2. Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

yep i like to participate in fan weeks or other events eg fic exchanges and the recent gotchas for gaza when i have time, i've participated in a lot of fic writing events this year as well as over the years

i like having an external push to write and finish sth (sometimes i rly need that to finish things 😭), and the prompts, and contributing to fics about a particular character/pairing, especially less popular ones!

i also like seeing everyone who also likes the same character/ship/etc create something tgth and contribute to the pool of fan content about the particular thing, also everyone is so talented! if i had enough time i would participate in Everything bc i really enjoy it

3. Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

already answered here!

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

if it's a short fic eg 1-2k words, i don't bother outlining much and jump straight into it. if it's a longer fic, esp multichaps i will do rough outlines or at least know what i want to cover or else it gets quite messy and disjointed. sometimes it's as simple as a few bullet points

i often change the outline/original plan when i actually write it out, usually to cut a few things or change the details of how sth happens if i feel what i had in mind is too complicated or if i feel like adding sth else

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

generally rainy nights, calm and chill vibes, not too stressed or busy with other things, no/few people around

6. If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

if i have the entire day and night totally free and write non-stop, then up to 5k words (though these days im busy with lots of irl obligations and don't have as much time/energy to do 5k at one go)

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

answered here!

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

yep sometimes. sometimes I'll play a ship/character playlist, especially a song I really associate with the character/ship, and i'll name the fic after that song. for eg i played heaven by mitski when writing this hualian smut fic jdhdhsjs or I'm Your Man by mitski for fenglian

9. Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

usually canon-compliant, followed by canon divergent, followed by AU. it can differ for the fandom/pairing tho, eg for hualian i vastly prefer writing canon-compliant especially postcanon canon-compliant fics, while for non-canon ships id write canon divergent more often

thank you so much again for the questions!! i hope you have a good day/night 💕

(send me a number for the Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing Asks)

[joviantwelve]

well

I am loath to say it but I saw my first smattering of discourse™ on this site again so I figured I should clarify a few identity-related things about myself

OK so in general I consider the LGBT spectrum so insanely broad and gray that I feel like you can pretty much identify the way you want.  it’s just terms for your own personal experience, you know?  everyone’s going to experience things differently and different terms fit just as much as different clothes do

I feel like you see this so much more in irl communities and older communities & that younger people terminally online get dunked headfirst into these terms with 0 historical context and so they feel like certain labels NEED to mean one specific thing ONLY but then end up echoing the rhetoric of gatekeepers and bigots.

ESPECIALLY when you consider nonbinary folks, many without proper terms to define how they feel, because gender is a nebulous construct.  and so when you define sexuality based on gender, when that’s already so blurry, well...like.  c’mon.

all this to say, speaking as a he/she AFAB person, yes, he/him lesbians exist.  I quite consider myself one.  I’m panromantic too.  doesn’t stop me from considering specific crushes sapphic, styling myself as a butch, etc. etc.  you can find pics of bi lesbians from the ‘60s, you know?  I feel like folks just don’t do research.

I’m also asexual, and while I never really consider it part of how I style myself as a queer person, I don’t tolerate any acephobia either.  PERSONALLY I feel like the challenges facing ace folks are a little different, but I think the communities can vibe, and if someone defines that for themself as a queer experience, who am I to judge?

anyone doing any of the above because they like the terms, as they define them for themselves, is living a better life for it.  anyone doing so to deliberately anger people is a troll and should not even be engaged with.  so either way, leave them alone!!

IN SUMMARY it just doesn’t make sense to me to incentivize infighting in a community that’s already facing so much hardship.  who would even define such a thing, a thing based on indvidual experiences and how we interact with the world?  we have to stick together, folks.

if you don’t agree with me, I don’t want to hear it.  this place isn’t for you.  just leave, alright?

(if you have innocuous questions though, you can certainly ask, just be sure to be clear it’s genuine curiosity, haha.  had to block someone I was interested in making friends with today, so my patience is thin.)

[menalez]

Heyo, I'm half arab through my dad and when I went to visit my family in the middle east I just noticed shit was fucking awful for women. I'm not saying arab men are biologically worse than white men or something, but for now they just are worse than white men. For social reasons. Is that racist? I hate white men, but at least I feel comfortable and safe as a bi gnc women in Europe, while in the middle I had a target on my back all the fucking time. They are all so fucking misogynistic and disgusting. I hate them. I just want to save the female members of my family, that are either veiled or have done plastic surgery to the point where you can't even tell them apart. My old grandma saw me for the first time in years and she just wanted to make me grow my hair, dress feminine, shave my legs and introduce to arab men to marry because I have the European look. Seriously they were all soooo disappointed I was gnc because I have light hair and light eyes, saying I could be the most beautiful girl out there and I just want to spit in their faces. Men look at me like I'm a piece of meat because I'm "exotic". At least in Europe white men show their misogyny less. And even here, when I meet an arab man they are so sexist! They are always religious and think women belong to the kitchen and white women are just whores to fuck before getting married to a proper virgin arab girl. I feel sorry for the arab girls, since they are always either veiled or the most feminine and proper women out there, and really it's two sides of the same coin but at the same time it frustrates me to no end because they. Don't. Want. To. Criticize their men! Like please that guy is a fucking piece of shit! While having no problem criticizing white men, and I all for that go ahead kick their asses but like. Let's talk about these other guys too and maybe hold them accountable??

Anyway. I have a lot of anger from that one trip to the middle east. I'm a little scared of my thoughts because they feel pretty racist. Do you have tips on trying to get over that?

i think as long as white men are getting mail order brides, partaking in sex tourism, murdering their girlfriends, serial killing women, raping, are involved in misogynistic cults, etc that it wouldn’t be correct to say that they’re any better. go look at white men in countries where women have fewer rights, whether they’re from there or travelled there or live there for whatever reason, and you’ll see they’re the same. they like to pretend to be better to the public because of what’s socially acceptable in their societies. people seem to think of the best country in europe for women and then want to compare it to the worst country in the middle east as if there’s no difference in development, human rights in general, and governments between those countries + as if there aren’t several european countries that are either the same or even worse than many parts of the middle east.

and yeah sorry after the i feel sorry for the arab girls part + what followed, im feeling very off about this message and i don’t even know how to put it into words. especially because nearly every single arab woman ive met will talk shit about arab men and men in general a LOT among other women (esp arab women). even my mother who spends her time being in denial and justifying terrible men will start going off on how trash they are at times. it seems like your experience is very limited and you came into it with bias + your experiences ig in europe are your “normal” so you can look past all the misogyny and acts of white men but how it is in the middle east is foreign to you so you pay attention to it more or sth. this just feels off to me, at the very least. i don’t even know how to start with tips even bc i feel like this message isn’t even genuine almost but that’s mainly bc of how u worded some parts

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[eternal-bangtan]

interview tag!

the rules are to answer questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

i was tagged by @crytaeby @jeongookie @yoongiandthebiaswreckers  and thank u so much!!

uhhhhhhhhhhhh lets get it

name|nickname: karina

pronouns: she/her

height: 164 cm but didnt check for few years but i dont think sth has changed 

time: 21:30 (lets see for how long ill make it) (ok i finished at 22:03 :|||)

when is your birthday: 5th of march

nationality: ukrainian

favorite band|groups: :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) i think my blog shows it <3

favorite solo artist: ehhh idc i just listen to whatever slaps esp with using tiktok nowadays literally thanks for most of my playlist lmao

song stuck in your head: fack eminem sahdasdasjd

last movie you watched: cry-baby and oh boi young depp,,,, lets not dig deep here im gonna yell the movie is weird tho lmao 

last show you binged: recently i started rewatching skins hahaahahahaahahaha 3rd season idk for what but also last proper one was sex education,, i barely watch them even tho id like to

when you created your blog: i think summer/late spring 2016 but it became a bts blog only in nov 2017

last thing you googled: как приготовить хумус 

other blog: @bangtanger 🤙

why i chose my url: ill be short so when i was listening to mots7 for the n-th time on the second day of release i think i was listening to moon and some lyrics touched my heart so much and realized once again how important they r to me and then i took a part of we r bulletproof eternal song name and was like they r truly eternal and thought this is very symbolic and also important to me and changed url immediately without even thinking about it it was the most impulsive thing ive ever done lmao also before i was quite scared to change url cuz ‘what if moots wont recognize me’ and all those weird arguments

how many people are you following: 390

how many followers do you have: 3,975

average hours of sleep: oh lately its been hella good 6-8+

lucky number: im not into that lolol

instruments: ekkkkkkkkk i have a keyboard but idk notes i can only play by listening to sth and trying to repeat with one hand the most simple things i wish i actually learnt it :(

what i’m currently wearing: slippers warm socks warm leggings pants long sleeved warm shirt sweatshirt yeah its cold 

dream job: i like retouching and taking pics so like,,, 

dream trip: half of the world in theory (but i wont name countries cuz who knows maybe ill want to visit more) but i just miss traveling in general :( sensitve topic hahahah

favorite food: whatever is tasty lmao it may be absolutely different cuisines but i dont like seafood 

favorite song: ok lets choose from non bts songs cuz itd be too hard hayloft - mother mother, stunnin’ - curtis waters, then leave - beatkind, queendom come  dunno what r they about but they r jammy 

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im ok with real world but lets make it ✨utopian✨ in a certain way thats all im gonna say dude i dont fuck with it im very paranoid id go crazy if i knew there is sth supernatural around that can hurt anyone :|  

im tagging ok ill tag same ppl lmao: @lifegoesmon @flipthatjacketjiminie @darlingjoon @stargazingjin @syubb @seokljin @jiminswn @jjeongukie @baechwita @kkulmoon @taemaknae @vjimin @vorenamjoon once again not forcing <3

[merlinfic]

group ask for lost fics #26

Hi y’all! Below are a few lost fics that us mods just can’t seem to find. That being said, we’re hoping that you lovely followers are able to help! If anyone knows any of the fics below please reply or send in an ask with which anon/user and group ask that the fic corresponds with!

Note: previous group asks and all lost fics!

Anon 1 asked:

Hello, thank you for all your work for this fandom!! I was wondering if you could find a fic I read a while back and lost -- Merlin is saving Arthur and gets injured, and he hides it well enough that Arthur just gets annoyed with him for being dramatic? And eventually there's a magic reveal, as well as merthur endgame. It was on ao3, if that helps! If not no worries <3

Anon 2 asked:

Okay, i always lose this fic and i'm never able to find it again even though i know it's somewhere on this blog... It's the one where merlin falls off a cliff and then arthur kisses him when he gets to merlin and merlin thinks it was just adrenaline? Thank you in advance, I'll make sure to bookmark this time lol

Thanks to @thatsniceiguess for sending in take my hand (there's a world I need to know) by ariadne_odair (need ao3 account)!

Anon 3 asked:

Hello, I would like if you could help me find a fanfiction that I read a few months ago. I can't remember the name but I remember that in the story Arthur took a gap year and he met Merlin on a train to Paris, I think, after they spent that year together, Arthur leaves and he goes 5 years without seeing Merlin. It's more or less that, I also remember that Morgana marries Gwen. I would be very happy if you can help me, I love your incredible work💖

Anon 4 asked:

I recently (as in like this week) read a fic where Gwen walks in on Merlin and Morgana are practicing magic. She runs out but Arthur goes and grabs her and explains that he knows. No matter what I search I can't find it!

Thanks to an anon, that could be Flank to Flank and Facing Forward by ohHeyThereBigBadWolf

@yankee-doodle-danger asked:

Hi! First of all I adore all the work you’re doing! I was looking for this very specific fic. Merlin and Arthur were both vampires who were going on a hunt. Percival and Gwaine were hunters, and at one point Merlin gets buried in a coffin with a stake in his heart while Arthur searches for him. This fic is driving me crazy so if anyone knows what it’s called it would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you so much!!

@ntjnke asked:

Hi there! I'm forwarding this ask from @FyMerlinxArthur. It sounds amazing, but I can't find it with my pretty simple searching skills. I was wndering if your mods would be more successful. The ask might take 2 boxes, bc I don't want it cut off, since all there are are content clues: "Hi ! I’m hoping if you can help me? I’m looking for a fic that I read a year or two ago where Arthur has a son who has magic. Merlin and Arthur are together raising the child, but Merlin is still a manservant. They are hiding their son’s power from Uther. In one part the son runs off to find his mother and it was revealed that Merlin is actually the other parent. Somehow he and a fairy had switched bodies and Merlin nor Arthur were aware and Arthur slept with the fairy (it was during one of their off periods and Merlin was traveling). The son was dropped off as a baby anonymously but no one could deny that it was Arthur’s. It was about eight chapters long when I read it on ao3. I’m not sure if it was posted on any other website. Thank you so much !!

Anon 5 asked:

Hi! I've been trying to find this story and I've searched every tag I can think of on AO3 but it's a Merthur story where Arthur has a habit of sleeping with servants and Merlin walks in on him a few times. And I think Arthur ends up with a servant that looks like Merlin. I'm also wondering if there are stories similar to this one? Thank you so much for all you do!

@oceancliffs asked:

hey, i’ve trawled through all the possible tags i can think of and cannot for the life of me find this fic. basically arthur is super in love with merlin but won’t act upon it because of the power imbalance and is convinced that merlin would go along with it if he ever made a move simply bc he’s the prince/king. it isn’t “for merlin’s honour” though!!

Glad you found it! For those interested it’s Knowing and Nobility by srin!

@fall0utmind asked:

LOST FIC--- It's short and on AO3. It is about Arthur realising he likes Merlin but also Merlin's previous loves, esp Gwaine and Lance. At one point Arthur finds out about this (Merlin accidently says) and is like you slept with not one but two of my knights?! He's like shocked and jealous. Hopefully that's somewhat useful! Thank you

Anon 6 asked:

Hi again! You've helped me before so I'm hoping you can help me now. I've been looking for a fic I read a while back where Arthur returns and tires to rekindle his relationship with Merlin but Merlin refuses. I remember Arthur saying, "Is it because you're old now? I don't care about that." They start living together and there's a guy from the grocery store who likes Merlin and Arthur sets them up on a date. Thank you so much!!!

@entertainmeh asked:

Hi I cannot express my gratitude enough hbxsjnszjn, the nights I spent reading amazing fics thanks to you!!but anyway I've come to ask about a fic I read a good while ago.. Arthur decided to teach Merlin how to fight with swords, but Merlin fell of a Cliff or sth and Arthur thought he died but turns out not and he had to drag him back to Camelot were he eventually died and then arthur bargained for Merlin's life with the triple goddess. There was magic reveal too. Do you know it?? Take care <333

Thanks anon for sending in The Best and Worst of Times by theimportanceofcurves!

Anon 7 asked:

i have lost a fic 😢 in it, it was expected for merlin to be arthur's bedwarmer, and basically uther forced them together, but arthur was a sweetie and even went to a brothel to learn how to not hurt merlin and stuff. I think they got magically married at some point. it had many chapter, and it was unfinished the last time I read it and... now I can't find it anymore 😢😢😢 help

Thanks to @thinkingabouttyrus for sending in Manservant by MerthurDestinies (WIP)!

Anon 8 asked:

Hi, I lost a fic and your recent posts about uni/college made me remember it existed in the first place lol so I'm seeking your help. I only remember little so it's fine if you can't find it. It was set in uni, and at first Merlin and Arthur didn't like each other. I remember them being very different since Merlin was poor, and that (at the end?) there was a touching rooftop scene (which I think ended with some heavy petting). Sorry if it's too little :(

Thanks to @hernativelanguagewasthought for suggesting a whole lot of history (you and me) by ladililn!

[worlds-shortest-astronaut]

Musical Reaction to Fireworks by Ateez

I love the opening instrumentation - it's so mysterious and floaty. Not sure how to feel about the autotune on Seonghwa and Yeosang's voices but I love their delivery. It's like they're kind of shouting the lines but it's still melodic. Also love how Seonghwa says 'zone'

San's lines ooohhh boi they said CONTRAST. His soft, gentle vocals contradict all of the last section and the synth drums + bass that come in. Love Jongho getting some softer part too.

LADS MINGI'S RAP IS FIRE what the FUCK. they TOTALLY change the backing instrumentation for it, too, and the build is great.

Ateez? Dropping out backing instruments to emphasise a drop? More likely thank you think. Seonghwa's pre-chorus line over JUST the drums is SO SATISFYING. One thing I love about Ateez is how their drops AREN'T as distinct from the rest of the song. Like the first drop after Mingi's rap is kind of soft, esp. cos the bass isn't emphasised.

The gun cocking sounds in the background exCUSE ME.

THE SECOND DROP THOUGH ugh this is why i LOVE Ateez - you think "oh this is the drop? wait NOT THIS IS IT" and then it goes twice as hard. Hongjoong's quick line followed San and the DRUM FILL IS SO GOOD.

We love Wooyoung and Yunho getting lines. Also i like this synth sounds that come back from Mingi's rap.

YO THE SECOND VERSE FUCKING SLAPS. Like the instrumentation thins out with barely a transition from the chorus and it starts of the SAME as the first verse except with FANCY BACKING VOCALS. MORE YUNHO LINES plus SAN'S LOWER RANGE HNNNNGG

And then we go into a TOTALLY NEW VERSE PART. Wooyoung's light vocals are SUCH a good contrast to San and Jongho's voices. YEOSANG oh my GOD his lines were SUCH A SERVE - he really said: Baritone Rights.

Hongjoong's laugh before his rap * iconic *. I like the ho the instrumentation behind his rap is the same as Mingi's but his flow/rhythm and tempo are COMPLETELY different.

The gun cocking sounds are fucking RUDE. Still love the drums leading into the second part of the chorus. Also i LOVE two-part choruses.

THIS BRIDGE as;lga;slkdga;lskg JONGHO go OFF vocal KING. Whoever wrote this melody? You're a genius. ANd his phrasing is SO interesting. Love how they use Seonghwa for the low part and then San comes with a higher bel/mixt.

a;sldkga;sldkf RAP DUO OVER JONGHO GOING OFF IN THE BACKGROUND the absolute POWER.

It's a bit strange for them to have a THIRD chorus that is so similar to their previous choruses but it's a REALLY good chorus so I'm not going to complain. Also in the second part of the chorus, there's that crazy shout that leads into it and they layer the vocals more. Yay they cut out the instruments for Yeosang's final line!!

Would have liked to see them build the chorus into sth more complex and it's strange that they don't have a really extra outro (like Thanxx or Pirate King) but I think that's because they realised they wrote a FUCKING FANTASTIC CHORUS. Edenary and Hongjoong were probs like "it can't get any better than this" and I respect that

[chateautae]

im sorry but i saw that rude af ask and just has to send an ask to you, it’s really sth you DO NOT deserve AT ALL. as i said before been following you since the beginning and was always really surprised with how fast you always put the chapters out, coming from someone who majority of the time reads oneshots cuz she’s so impatient the speed you put out MID hardly ever makes it feel like a series at all, i didn’t have to wait long for the next chapter to come out and to see someone complain abt having to wait for a month??

writers are not a machine to churn out stories for you they are people too!! & esp since they have their own commitment to attend to also!!! i think that more people need to understand that no matter how impatient we want the next chapter to be out we CAN NEVER AND SHLD NEVER force the author to churn it out, it is not only unfair to the writer but unfair to us as well as pressuring the authors can diminish their quality of their writing, & besides there’s always the saying that good things come to those who wait sooo yeah

anyways sammy i hope you don’t take that ask to heart too much 🥺 just always rmb that for every one rude/mean comment you get there will be hundreds of other nice comments to make up for it and many of us that support you and MID 💛 take care & spend some quality time with ur loved ones during ramadan 💙 take all the time you need to produce another beautiful chapter in MID we won’t run away!! we will always be here till the very end 🥰

Noo omg please you’ve really been supporting me from the start and I’m so so glad, seriously I don’t take your love and support for granted and I’m happy you gave mid a chance 🥺🥺 Everything you said here is absolute FACTS and I sincerely hope any reader that expect something from an author reads this very carefully, I promise it’s good for the soul 🙏

Ahh I’m trying not to take it to heart too much it’s just boggling me that someone’s angry I’m taking too long to produce a 30k chapter, it’s literally so hard 😭😭 but thank you thank you I’m so happy everyone here is so lovely, you have a wonderful day my love 🥺💓

[jimimn]

HHFJSLASI YOU AND I ARE JUST PROFESSIONALS WHEN IT COMES TO RAMBLING AND I LOVE IT I'LL MAKE THIS FIRST ASK SHORT SO THAT YOU CAN ADD THE READ MORE AND PUT THE REST UNDER THE CUT SO THAT YOUR FOLLOWERS DON'T HAVE TO DO A LOT OF SCROLLING LMAO - 💫

your brain i love it 😌😌

MISS SHIVI YOU'RE TOO SWEET 🤧💞 HFAKKA JUNGKOOK MADE THE WORLD STOP WITH THAT HAIR DYE AT THIS POINT I'M JUST ✨ manifesting ✨ a selfie of him with that hair and I know for a fact that the moment that one selfie comes out ITS OVER FOR US and OMG IN A BUN??? JDJAKJD I THINK YOURE SPEAKING THE DEVIL INTO EXISTENCE. BLONDE JIKOOK SELCA LETS GO BOYS COME ON DON'T BE SHY 🧚‍♂️🌸

OOOPS THAT IDOL PERFORMANCE DOES LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE THO...ESP ALL OF THEIR GROWLS..CALM DOWN??? JIMIN?? EXCUSE YOU.

AND JUNGKOOK'S OUTFIT WAS SO HOTJFJSLQJDJWKA. I did watch the performances later and can attest that DYNAMITE SLOW JAM IS NOW MY ANTHEM AND BLONDE JUNGKOOK SINGING IT IS DEFINITELY NOT GOOD FOR MY SANITY

CHANEL MODEL!JIMIN MISS SHIVI I AM THINKING MANY THOUGHTS NOW FOR REAL THO HE SHOULD TOTALLY WEAR MORE CHOKERS AND CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM FINISHING A PERFORMANCE ANF THEN RIPPING IT OFF AND THROWING INTO THE CROWD LIKE JSLWLAKF DEATH UPON US ALL!!! Honestly he can wear anything at this point and ummm 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ BUT FBKSKA I HOPE THIS ISNT WEIRD BUT I JUST THOUGHT OF JIMIN'S COLLARBONES PEAKING OUT FROM UNDER THE CHOKER AND WE'RE GOING A LITTLE FERAL AGAIN

BODY ROLLS DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED THERE IS NOTHING MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN HIM NOT ONLY BEING SO HOT BUT ALSO USING PERFECT TECHNIQUE!! AND THAT GAZE BYE I'M SHORT CIRCUITING HE CLEARLY KNOWS HIS POWER AND ISN'T AFRAID TO USE IT aND THAT LOOK GAAAAH 5TH MUSTER JIMIN COME HOME PLS THE FOOD IS COLD AND EVERYONE'S ASKING WHERE YOU ARE (me....I'm everyone) NO NOO DON'T BE SORRY I LOVE IT TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR MUSINGS *cups face in hand and leans on table*

AND I AGREE!! TAEHYUNG LOOKING GOOD IN THAT SUIT ONLY SHOWS US THAT THE GODS TOOK THEIR SWEET TIME ON HIM AND LMFAO I MEAN THEY'RE NOT WRONG THO 🤡 IS A PRETTY ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF US and omg you've got a sister!! that's so nice 💓

LITERALLY ON WITH THAT DANCE BREAK IN A CONCERT WITH JIMIN JUMPING OVER JUNGKOOK WHEN I TELL YOU I UGLY CRIED FOR HOURS AFTER SEEING THAT DURING THE MV PREMIERE I DON'T THINK I'LL LIVE KNOWING THEY DID IT IN A CONCERT and ooooooo you should definitely keep hoping!! We got an I need u performance, so anything's possible!! I got into them with bs&t so it makes me very 🤧🤧🤧 in retrospect but nothing about jimin dancing his jacket off was 🤧 it was more of a 🥵😵🥴🤕🤒 type of feeling LMAO

I KNOW RIGHT I LOVE HOW THEY ALWAYS GIVE US LIL UPDATES EVERYWHERE LIKE "OO I WENT CAMPING" "OO WE ATE BREAD!!" "OOO LOOK WE'RE JUST GOING TO DROP COVERS AND SELCAS SO YOU CAN LOSE WHATEVER LITTLE SANITY REMAINED!!" BUT YES TIMES LIKE THAT WHEN HE TWEETS JIMIN IS THE LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF THE BIGGEST HEART EMOJI

AND FJSLADHK I NEVER TOLD YOU LMAO MY BRAIN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ MY BIAS IS JIMIN!! I MEAN BY THE LOOKS OF IT YOURS IS TOO HE MAKES US ALL SO 💕💓💫💓💗💕🌺🌈💘💓✨💗💓🌸💕💝🌈💓💗 ITS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING HOW MUCH HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE WOW HOW AM I LETTING A MAN WHOM I DON'T EVEN KNOW HAVE SO MUCH CONTROL OF ME. HE'S JUST... EVERYTHING 🥺 I'M IN MY BREAK AND A LITTLE TOO EMO RIGHT NOW!! BUT I GUESS YOUR BIAS IS JIMIN TOO RIGHT? TAKING BY YOUR LOVELY BLOG AND BRUTALLY HONEST (IN THE BEST WAY!) URL LMAO IF NOT THEM I'M SORRY FOR PRESUMING 🙈🙈 but tell me!! how did you get into them??

(god...I'm just looking and I see I wrote too much I'm so sorry fksjwlfo)-💫

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love seeing your asks in my inbox ok they make me very happy 🤧🤧 BLONDE JIKOOK IN A BUN SELCA I AM MANIFESTING!!!!!!!! BOYS JUST OPEN YOUR GALLERY AND DROP THEM SELCAS I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT OF THEM PLS SPARE SOME FOR US THANX 😭

JIMIN IN THAT IDOL PERFORMANCE HOLY SHIT YES 😳 LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT KIND OF DISRESPECT IS THAT 👁👄👁 and then in the same week he became small cuddly jimin with a boopable nose during the home performance 😔

istg jungkook looked like a very hot rich ceo of a huge company or sth 😳😳 (which he actually is sdfghjk atleast partially sdfg)

CHANEL NEEDS TO CALL JIMIN ASAP 🔫🔫🔫 AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAKING ME IMAGINE WILD SCENARIOS LIKE THAT 😭 ok imagine him smirking the “i know im hot” smirk after he throws the choker DEATH OK ABSOLUTE DEATHHHHHHHH and omg yes his collarbones along with the choker 😳😳😳😳 (and no its not weird asdfghj chill) 

AND OMG THAT IS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM RIGHTTTTT!!!! THAT PARK JIMIN IS ABSOLUTELY AWARE OF THE POWER HE HOLDS AND HOW HOT HE IS!!!!! AND HE USES IT JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT WHICH IS KNOWS IS ENOUGH FOR US TO GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL and he’s such a fucking tease too dear lord i can’t with him 😭😭😭😭😭 AND OMG “*cups face in hand and leans on table*” STOP BEING SO CUTE OKAY WTF I AM BLUSHING HERE 😭😭😭😭

AND YES 🤡 IS DEFINITELY ALL OF US 🤣 i remember waiting for 12 am kst every freaking day for a week before BE dropped and big hit was like “not today you absolute clowns” on all our faces 🤡 AND YESS AAAAAAAA she’s not my own sister though!! she’s my aunt’s daughter. they’ve come to visit us for a week 🥰🥰

ON DANCE BREAK WITH JIMIN JUMPING OVER JUNGKOOK HOLY FRIKKIN YES BUT HAVEN’T THEY STOPPED DOING THAT JUMP IN THE RECENT PERFORMANCES? im sad :(((( BUT YES THAT IN A CONCERT WITH ARMY CHEERING AND FANCHANTS AND EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT CAN’T IMAGINE THE ENERGY IN THE STADIUM DURING THAT 🤯🤯🤯🤯 ARE YOU KIDDING I GOT INTO THEM WITH BS&T AS WELL. i am never ever ever going to be over that song. and yes jimin’s “accidental” jacket flips in bs&t are the reason is why i live and breathe 😌😌 (and simultaneously die multiple deaths) I AM NOT EVEN MAKING SENSE ANYMORE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND OMG I KNOW RIGHT WHEN CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED WITHOUT A FUCKING CLUE I WENT !@#$%^&*()&^%$#@q@#$%^&*( BECAUSE I HAD JUST WOKEN UP FROM SLEEP AND /?????? NEW SONG FROM JIMIN??????? THAT FELING WAS JUST HHHHHHHHHHHHHH atleast tae gave us a hint BUT I WAS STILL NOT READY WHEN SNOW FLOWER DROPPED. DAMN I HOPE THEY DON’T DO THIS NO WARNING THING WITH KTH1 AND JJK1 BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE FUCKING SLEEPING WHEN THEY DROP ASDFGHJK  AND JIMIN AAAAAAAA JIMIN I MISS HIM SO MUCH CAN HE GO LIVE AGAIN PLS I JUST WANT TO HEAR HIS SOFT VOICE AND SEE HIS EYE SMILE AND FLOOFY HAIR AND TINY HANDS :(((((((

AND OMG YOURS TOO???? 😭😭😭 AND PRESUMPTION WHAT PRESUMPTION OMG OFC MY BIAS IS JIMIN (and six bias wreckers 😌😌) LIKE I HAVE JIMIN IN MY ICON AND IN MY HEADER AND IN MY URL AND I GIF JIMIN MOSTLY SO 😭😭😭 WHAT PRESUMPTION 😭😭😭 and god yes i love every little thing about him 🥺🥺🥺 FROM HIS SOCK DOODLES TO HIM BEING SUPER CLUMSY AND HIS JACKET FLIPS AND HIS SEXY BRAIN AND HIS KIND HEART AND HIM NOT GIVING TWO FUCKS ABOUT GENDER TO HIM GROWLING ON STAGE TO HIS NIPSLIPS I JUST!!!!!LOVE!!!!!!EVERYTHING!!!!! 🤧🤧🤧🤧 AND yes lmao my url ok story time!! so when i made this blog... i didn’t know i’d get into giffing and stuff lol so the friend who got me into bts (i’ll come to that story later) suggested jiminsjacketflip as a url for my blog but i was like nah this doesn’t sound cool so i added a bit of ✨pazzaz✨ and made it flipthatjacketjiminie LMFAOOOOO and ive been wanting to change it for a while now because its so fucking long and my watermark on gifs looks shitty because of that 🤡 but i haven’t found anything as unique as this one yet and i also think that if I change my url people won’t recognize me so im just..... living with this one lmaooooo 🤡

AND OKAY OMG so i got into them at the end of june 2020. My friend anna (who also has a blog and makes a++++ gifs @/lifegoesmon) got me into them. She made me listen to them and the first song i heard was stay gold as far as i remember and then it was BS&T AND GODDAMN THE WAY I GOT FUCKING HOOKED TO THE SONG I KEPT LISTENING TO IT ALLLLLLLL DAYYYYYYY and then she showed me the performance for bs&t and i knew i was a goner 🥴🥴 then I watched chaotic bts compilations and they were so fucking funny and adorable that i went like???? how are they so sexy and intimidating on stage and this adorable and chaotic off stage?😭😭😭 we listened to bts’ discography for like three hours on the first day and she shared her playlist with me and stuff and god I just fell for their music. and then obviously with their dance and then obviously with everything about them 🥺🥺 HOW ABOUT YOUUUUUUUU? WHEN AND HOW DID YOU GET INTO THEM???? (and pls don’t be sorry sdfghjk i love reading your asks 💖💖💖) OH ALSO DID YOU WATCH RUNNNNN???????? WHICH ONES DID YOU WATCH????

[arodrwho]

so i want to start watching crit role but i tried once before and i found the beginning way too slow. is there a point where i can start where i'll be able to figure out what's happening but it'll be faster than the first eps? for reference, i fell off around ep 6 - there was something at the circus that killed a kid or something

!!

critical recap (which you can look up on yt) is great for rapidfire summaries of earlier episodes (and later ones tho i think i heard sth recently abt them ending/only being in text form now? [shrugs])

so if u'd like to ream past earlier episodes but still keep the general context &then just jump in slightly closer to or even at the current point in canon that's an option

ANYWAY

idk what the general fandom consensus is, but the way i see it u have 3 obvious options:

-start again with ep 5, the gnolls mini arc. that plotline is abt 3 eps long, and iirc gives u a fjord Thing, a caleb Thing, and GREAT subtler moments from everyone else. also very importantly it has guest pc shakaste who is an absolute delight and also legend whom u WILL love. good for early lore, sweet jokes, and a more condensed-feeling story than the carnival

-start again with ep 8, or even 9 if u don't mind missing the intro of generally enjoyed npc pumat(s) sol. has the party enter (if 8) and explore (if 9) zadash & is where many plot threads Begin. good for starting early enough to meet lots of later-important npcs & witness some Crucial Party Interactions, while skipping over Travel Time

-start again with episode 26. this is where the party rly Becomes A Party, & a vry good arc follows, almost immediately followed by another 1 where the plot kicks into High Gear. pros: Suspenseful Plot Time, ppl emoting everywhere, clear Bad Guy To Loathe. cons: gonna miss a lot of molly, but u can always watch earlier eps later

-other options i suppose? ep 28, where u meet cad, tho rly idk how that'd feel without ep 26 so [shrugs]. ep 33, nicodranas time! fjord arc 1 begins 2 commence. a very handy & sensible starting point, tho less AAAA from the outset than eps 26 or 28. ep 48 if u wanna get rly goddamn wild & dive into nott's arc/the start of the arc that most directly led to the current one? personally i feel like it's more emotionally rewarding if u watch Some Other Episodes First, but ymmv, esp if u already know certain spoilers

others may have other ideas that work better for u? but those are the options that stick out to me personally!!

[just-emilia]

thoughts on lost butterfly (with a lot of spoilers)

ok so i just got back from watching fate stay night heavens feel lost butterfly and here are my thoughts:

short version: I loved it!

long version under the cut (with spoilers so be careful!)

this movie wasnt perfect (could it ever be?) but i does most of the things right, esp stuff i wasnt happy with in the vn, so let me tell you what i loved and what not.

what i didnt love (ive got three main gripes that im gonna get out of the way first):

there should have been illya scenes in the first movie, because it ended up hurting the second movie. the shirou and illya scene in the park (before the rain scene) lacked impact and meaning because these two hadnt actually gotten to know each other much.

there was no follow up to saber alter appearing. shirou didnt deal with that at all (they may put that in the third movie tho)

beautiful aria...why did they cut most of it..thats like one of my fave scenes in the vn, and they cut out shirou and sakuras conversation part of it completely..that actually makes me mad

theres other smaller stuff that i didnt love (freaking fanservice), but i will keep that for another time

thankfully there was more stuff i loved so lets get to those:

close to the beginning was a new (baby) sakura scene added, that hurt and scared me lot...my poor child..

rider and sakura are great together. rider doing everything for sakura is even greater. rider saying she LOVES sakura and wants her to live? the greatest.

the rain scene was all it should be and more even. bc they added the sweet scene of shirou pressing sakuras key to his home (which shed lost before) into her hand and them holding hands like that while hugging...just yes thank you ufotable

everything they did with the shadow?? so good and scary..and sad actually

they also did some stuff with sakuras actual own shadow to show sth was wrong with her..that was so fucking scary and unsettling in a good way

i didnt think id ever say this but..i loved the sex scene. fanservice aside (and i had to ignore a lot), on an emotional and intimate level they really nailed it (hah). the kiss..the hug..the handholding..sakura being vulnerable about her insecurities and shirou being so sweet and understanding..yea..

saber alter vs. berserker looked really fucking good

archer throwing those small little glances towards illya...sadness..both archer and shirou protecting illya was very sweet

rin and sakura scene in the kitchen..adorable..the only time i like tsunderin

but the scene where sakura finds out about rin knowing shirou for as long as she does? really heartbreaking..made me hurt a lot..sakura my baby..

sakura vs. gil was amazing...theres a part where sakura is regenerating and it lookes straight out of a horror zombie flick..so good..and gil died fast..so fast you couldnt even see except for sakuras big ‘nom’

speaking of this scene: the pseudo dream sequence of sakura where shes kinda alice in wonderland but with a sinister twist? what a way to show her dealing with what shes doing as a shadow..that was unsettling in such an innocent way..

in general i felt they dealt with sakuras psyche really well, showing her slowly lose her mind and her complicated contradicting thoughts and fears

also really sad to watch was both of them (shirou/sakura) being in denial so fucking hard..them pretending everything was fine out of desperation hurt me so much..my babies..

rider medusa scene was super nice and then super sad when sakura hurt herself

i dont remember for sure,, but i dont think there was a fujimura scene anywhere near the end was there? but it was nice addition..also probably the reason beautiful aria ended so shortly

which while im at it, was still appropriately sad and heartwrenching and made me want to bawl my eyes out but still..

sakura killing shinji earned her the whole theaters applause. very well deserved. and the process of her turning into dark sakura looked so cool and unsettling too, i cant wait for her to fuck everyone up in the last movie!!!!!!!

ok thats it for now bc this is super long already but yeah as i said i loved the movie, i want to rewatch it already and i cant wait for the last one!!

[princessnijireiki]

just saw an "astral projection for beginners" post… and half of me was like *scoff* "you leave your body and come back, it's not that complicated, duh… you just Go & Come Back"

and the other half was like "why is this a tutorial on tumblr dot com, you're gonna have a bunch of people attempting to force themselves to dissociate, and a handful of people whom will be scared shitless when/if they do manage to pop out of their lil bodies like a cork… and then somebody's gonna struggle to get back… somebody will try this shit while high… get this content outta here, this is irresponsible"

the duality of man…

anyway the notes had a few people going "YIKES, SLEEP PARALYSIS THO" (which is valid bc sleep paralysis does suck ass & is not a state you want to be in if you Went someplace & sth followed you or might, like, be squatting over/around/in your body), and people like feeling super sick or shaky afterwards bc it's not for everybody… like it's not a thing everyone can or should even try to do…

idk it just. vexes me. don't pass certain information around that you don't have the capability to be responsible for the impact of, esp if you don't know if your user base or audience or readers down the line will have the capability to accurately determine themselves if they're capable & ready on their own.

it's not all fucking rock collections & tea blends & salt circles out here, and while I admire how, like, lighthearted some of the aesthetic or kitchen witchy type of blogs on here can be, I just really feel like tumblr is not the venue for some of this heavier stuff unless you know who you're talking to, what their intentions are, what their and your own ability is, and know that the message hasn't been intercepted and edited before it gets to your hands in the first place.

[cucumbersncheese]

soft q&a

tagged by SOPHT HEART HRSELF @kirishwima

Rules: answer the q&a and tag 5 of your most recent followers and 3 of your biggest fans, fave users/blogs

What’s the smell of ur shampoo? Ehhhhh smell of the shampoo?? I NEVER NOTICED :DDDDD its always changin around but i rlly like almond honey and herbal shampoo smellssss

What’s ur aesthetic? My aesthetic... Being able to lie down on the grass on a nice windy day that isnt too sunny or too cloudy, next to the ppl i love and be able to relax while maybe sharing earbuds? or just in each other’s presence. when the wind blows and its slightly chilly, we laugh from the cold. my dress goes this way n that in the wind and our hair is flying too and we’re both sunny. lying to see the stars too, or going on night walks, or playing video games on dif consoles but in the same room... ehehe.

What’s ur favorite hour of the day? Early mornings and evenings :>

What do u like most about the beach? I havent been to the sea much to be able to say~ :DDD

What do u worry about constantly? Whetehr im loved, whether ill be abandoned, whether im manipulative, whether im talking to much, whetehr im showing love adequately, whetehr im being too much or too little and whetehr the ppl i love are safe and happy :DDDD

What is a song u cried before? Oh my, recently? Then its “Goodbye, Everyone” by powapowa-p/siinamota. I miss him ;;

what r some relaxing tips to ur followers? Take a walk if you can!! It is quite nice to be able to be with nature and to observe tiny things and to see if you can find beauty in it :DDD besides that hmmm, try and surround urself with stuff that brings u peace or happiness? It really depends on everyone doesnt it :DDD

What r some things that make u tear up? Missing people, myself, people getting hurt unjustly, ermmmm anger too?? Lots of things, im very teary!!!!

what is ur favorite form of each of the five senses? touch: hugs, hand holding, skin to skin contact always fascinates me too ^^ being able to feel someone in general. sound: the sound of people being happy so happiness, soft music, rain, nice lyrics taste: HRMMMM spicy food?? chocolate? SOUP!!! TOMATO SOUP!!! smell: the smell of loved ones is very comforting, along with the smell of the earth after rain and when my mother is baking something good :DDD sight: seeing the people i love and their smiles esp when they laugh at something, seeing cuteeee pixel art and art in geenralll, oh and reading!!!! lotsa reading!!!

what is one alternate reality ud want to be in? Ohhhh? Hmmm idrkkkk i suppose id like to be in one where humans have wings!? *sparkles* And no one gets shit for lgbt stuff or for bein a woman ever in history or anything rlly heehee

what r some troubles u face daily? Nowadays i realized that i seem to sorta “reset” every few days, which is when it seems ive woken up after a long nap? but then it gradual gets the same as before :DD so thats a worry i guess... Besides that i worry abt my grades, the lives of others, loneliness, struggling to get motivated and to do stuff and not feel... bad? How odd :O in general tho im pretty alright!!!! dwelling hurts my braaainnnn

what is one scene of a book that made u rlly sad? Ahhh i havent read recently but theres quite a lot of moments really? Like in the ministry of utmost happiness, there was a bunch and in ingo chronicles it was the whole father thing, so really books just really connect :DD

say sth to ur followers Hi!!!! Thank you for following me, i always see you in my notes and i hope youre having a nice day cause if its not nice ill punch it!!!! BWAHHHH it GOOOESSSSS and EXPLOOODESS and now theres confetti and rlly im typing this while half asleep but i rlly hope youre alright, take care okay? <333

So to tag:

5 recent followers: not counting the limitless porn bots... @a-toasted-marshmallow @yenatic @iolitte @softoceanbreeze @heathermason (im so sorry!!! i had to!!! but u dont have to answer this so dw!!!!! oka!!!!)

3 biggest fans: ehhhh idrk??? Yammy is a fan i suppose :DDDD and lala!!! they like my stuff all the time!!!! and my friends in general!!! rhys!!!! val!!!

and fav users aka Friendos: oh gosh ummmm @error-404-gender-not-found @valdezspeaking @gabbigoblin @theyamfairy and u sophi u DOOORKKKK (theres also another one but im... too shy >_<)

[eternal-bangtan]

So long story short I was a really big fan of bts for awhile but I got bored of them when boy with luv came out, didn’t listen to it that much but it grew on me. Tonight my mom called me into her room bc bts was on James Corden and it made me realize that idk I’ve kinda felt empty without them. The point of this: I don’t really like one of the members. I don’t wanna say because I know the backlash for this member would be awful. I don’t know what to do bc I always hear Stan one of none. Plz help

holy shit i never thought that i can get an ask like this and i dont even know if im the right person or can explain properly dhdjdjdd but im gonna just say my thoughts ok? maybe they will help u maybe they wont we r all different and need different approaches right

to me personally the idea of ‘stan ot7’ is a whole realization that everything matters and without 7 members/fans/some dumb shit/whatever happened good or bad there wouldnt be bts we know and that member u may not like is also as huge part of this path as other members without this one member at some point there could not be bts at all its a short version of my thoughts

i dont wanna sound too loud or weird rn but every time people say ‘i read the lyrics and that song spoke to me oh it helped oh this song helped me to accept and love myself oh this song made me cry cuz this is the way i felt too this cured my depression this gave me strength etc’ if everything didnt happen the way it did (aka 7 members complicated path a lot of shit but also good things) there wouldnt be these comments from ppl all over the world there wouldnt be songs wouldnt be uh lets call them saved fans cuz as i saw many people discovered them when they felt really bad and their songs and lyrics and messages helped them

so about not liking one member

1 when i first discovered bts and watched my first mv (ok even before that and when i only saw one clip of bts randomly without knowing them) i had a bias already and he made me dig a little deeper and when i decided to have a blog on tumblr at first i was following only blogs about this member and no one else and thought meh i only liked him why should i follow someone else related blogs rn 🤷‍♂️ and i didnt know how the whole kpop wolrd worked at that time lol

2 after some time i got used to them but felt a little strange about couple members i just couldnt get them i was puzzled and careful

3 after some more time i watched a lot of content i read some things and oK i got a whole ass knowledge (idk how many months passed) about every member and i remember having a ‘oh my god i love him so much hes such an amazing human being and makes my heart melt’ thingy with every memberrr at some point but it happened gradually

but in ur case u were a big fan as u say before idk for how long idk how old r u idk what kind of person r u so this may be a little harder

so what do i think about not liking one member

we all r very different and our surroundings r very different and our minds too and our preferences etc etc etc and if u think about it as not a kpop situation it would be normal right dhsjdj but we r here talking about kpop and it has some rules so,,, i will continue i personally tried to get to know those members a little more and better to understand them to know what do they feel and how do they treat others or how others treat these members and what r their roles etc and even if i didnt like some idk lets say ‘habits’ after some time i just accepted these ‘habits’ like a part of their personality u know? but yeah at this point i think of them as a family hdjdjdjd after stuff they have been through and how they all supported each other,,, idk its so precious to me its huge and important maybe im a lil oversensitive or empathic but i get it a little and appreciate that they became the way they r today ( while im writing all of this somehow THE EDINGING OF WE R BULLETPROOF ETERNAL KEEPS PLAYING IN MY HEAD AND IM ALMOST A SOBBING MESS) idk how it works but with bts u r breaking ur own principles and it makes sth inside of u expand and be more open minded and mentally flexible

but yO recently in their interviews they mentioned how hard it is ( i think it was hoseok i even took a screenshot oNE SEC) here it is

cr to op

so as u see its a normal thing and even they got used to each other after some time 🤷‍♂️ (i mean not from the beginning and they needed that t i m e to learn and grow up and accept etc) and ITS REALLY PRECIOUS THAT THEY R AT THIS POINT RN THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH it makes me think a lot about me and my friends and rethink some shit or the way i behave 😔

but wait was ur question ‘how do i accept the fact that everyone says love ot7 and i love ot6’ or ‘how do i love that seventh member’

ok about first question even tho i dont like solos etc even tho im ot7 i can say that people love to generalize anyway or love to attack or make assumptions so if u r not thinking anything bad about that member or not discrediting him and u r really realizing his huge role in their group and u just not a big fan of his ‘personality’ i think its not awful cuz we may not like some certain things in people and it happens esp irl with ppl 🤔 but if u r that type of ot6 like ‘ugh when will ______ quIT I H8TE HIM HES ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS’ its not good cuz well h8ing is the most self destructing thing lol and well wishing that someone should quit is also bad (and im saying this not from fans point of view) and should i even explain why

if its about second question hm u know after the beginning of this path of stanning bts and this fandom i faced many of my inner demons all of a sudden and after realizing whats the reason whats the source of those demons and after some work with them i felt a lot better and freer and relieved,, what if after accepting this seventh member and starting liking him too u will feel better too? what if its about having an inner conflict i really mean it think about ‘what do i not like about him/ why do i not like this or that/ is this that bad/ what if i liked ___ about him even tho i never liked this ever in my life/can i change the way i feel about it/ etc’ maybe u have this question in ur head rn cuz it meant to happen and u meant to work with ur inner state through this ?

i truly believe in few things 1 everything happens for the better (even tho realization can hit after many years) 2 everything happens in the best timing (for this thing! in ur life and u r ready for it) 3 if u dont like something and cant get rid of it just change ur reaction/perseption whatever that word is saying this from my own experience and there r more but dhhdhd

so at first just think about it if u need u can write it down somewhere it will help u to get to know urself better as well

ok maybe its not that deep but for quite some time whenever something bothers me i write it down to the notes starting from what happened what do i feel what exactly made me feel like this and why and what can i do to feel better

fr everyone can think of everything like ‘its not that deep’ but at the end of the day literally everything even little thing can help us with our mental state (after some work ofc) we better not underesetimate this world and things that happen to us 😔😔😔

also i wanna apologize for couple things english is not my first language so i tried my best but ofc there r typos and yes i dont have a habit of using punctuation i hope its not a big problem to u 😔

[inside-aut-blog]

Autistic Caleb Widogast

Part Two

Episodes 11-20

EPISODE ELEVEN:

caleb compliments & asks abt the origins of the shopkeep’s (heavy) sweater & then remembers manners & is like “sorry, what’s your name?”

the entire bread-as-mitts exchange, but esp. when jester goes “why didn’t you just light your hands on fire instead of putting it in bread?” & caleb’s all “i would’ve burned the bread and then i couldn’t eat it, it’s simple!”

“anyway should we go?” “should we go?”; echolalia

EPISODE TWELVE:

y’know that thing where many autistics talk in a weird mashup of hyper-formal & super informal speech? casually using, like, SAT words right up alongside colloquialisms & memespeech? that thing? yeah, caleb does that a lot. in like, virtually every episode. incl. this one, where he says, w/utmost seriousness: “i understand that these two are really busting your balls, and i commiserate with that, but we do need in fact to ask”

EPISODE THIRTEEN:

caleb talks to skull. caleb makes the skull talk back. autistics tend to have fewer qualms abt talking to inanimate objects, & so here we are

also, nott says “i think what would make it work is letting them take the lead a bit, and following” & from this point forward caleb’s internal rule of I Must Defer To The Group gets Even More Solid

“i think you may have guessed it before now, but i care a great deal for you” he talks around the Love Word, which is super relatable bc that word is. A Lot. hard to verbalize

“i pick her up and i just hug her. i just hug her” sometimes Gestures are easier than Words u know

EPISODE FOURTEEN:

fjord: [yasha] doesn’t like the spotlight caleb, commiseratingly: attention’s a bitch, isn’t it?

EPISODE FIFTEEN:

caleb gets “super intense with his shit [when he casts detect magic]” & barely notices the others heading to the door; hyperfocus? hyperfocus!!

EPISODE SIXTEEN:

“caleb is chewing on his finger and looking through the book”; stimmable

[after jester’s “special package” comments] “and i’m like red-faced, and i stare at myself, like dead expression, for 30 seconds”; flat. affect

caleb is “wide-eyed and not responding” after absorbing the mote & nott’s like “he can’t speak anymore, he’s forgotten– […] he’s lost all language”; can be reasonably assumed nott is Aware that’s a thing that happens

EPISODE SEVENTEEN:

“about seven feet away, out of habit, caleb just starts going ‘one two three four…’”

EPISODE EIGHTEEN:

caleb: nott usually stabs someone when we do that beau: ok but u can shift that to suit this new context right. like u can do that right. like. like a) difficulty adjusting to suit new context, difficulty w/change…….., & b) beau asks bc she, an autistic, can easily tell that caleb is autistic y/y?

EPISODE NINETEEN:

“caleb is stress chewing on the licorice root that he used to cast the spell”

when mentioning jester, he calls her “the blue one” rather than her name; seems to me it might be related to the thing where names just like. feel Too Personal To Say? maybe. potentially

nott’s all “i think i was probably stealing some food or sth” & caleb goes “you told me it was cherry wine”; friendly teasing + Urge To Correct

EPISODE TWENTY:

once again shares the emotional support stim cat, this time w/kiri!

“i just mean i wasn’t–i don’t know, words don’t do it. talk to me if you want”; trouble articulating his thoughts? That’s Canon My Dude

[ace2light]

felt so down..

i wanted to talk to people so badly. by people, i meant those whom i am close with. super close with, esp him. i do have ppl whom are extremely close to me. but i dont dare to approach them due to as follows: 

poon: he is with his friends, he wont have the time to entertain me also, well, there were times i couldnt control myself and texted him, i got a single word ‘ok’, i know where i stand, i backed off. i switched off my phone literally. idw to have more disappointment in my alrdy bad and sad mood. rather than unknowingly text him and anticipate he would at least ask how i am. i rather not meet with such a disappointment. well if he knows that i am really trying my best to cope with my feelings and thoughts, he would auto read this without me telling him. cos if i dont spam him, i go to insta, if i dont go to insta, i come to tumblr. these are the ways i penned down how i feel and what i think when there is no one to talk to me, no one whom i can chat with. 

steph: in gasglow, i dont want her to be burden with my issues. she will know when she returns when we catch up anws. 

chanel and jiawen: we are drifting apart. they are the ppl i joke ard with but no longer the ones whom i find to rant about. as i always hang out with poon, i dw them to feel i treat bf more than i treat my bff. i dont want them ti feel they are spare tyre. 

sheena and sam: i scared i make them feel overwhelm with my issues. plus sheena is no coping well alrdy, idw to add to her problems. 

mum: she no longer is my close listening ears. i nvr tell her many things, in fact, i nvr say much about myself anymore, except rant about dad to her. other than that, nth. idw her to worry about me, esp my studies. i didnt tell her i wasnt coping well in school lately also. she’s too busy dealing with my dad anws. 

dylan: he is a gd friend, but then i am not comfy telling him too many things. 

xx: i lose the position to rant to him. before i got into a relationship, he was always there when i was feeling down. be it normal classes whereby i am feeling sad or stress, he will buy me oreo (altho he say his house got unlimited supplies, so many times, he think i believe meh). he can chat with me for the entire night when i was feeling so lost about some issues in the past. he takes care of me like a little sis. often he is the one who can notice i am sad and try ways to make me happy. i always treated him as my bro. he is like my younger/older bro. because of many reasons, i distant myself from him. i dont want poon to be jelly about xx and me, neither do i want to make xx feel sad, so the best way is to distant from him. 

it has been long since i felt like cutting myself. thankfully that feeling happens when i was on a cab, i have no access to pen knife. if not idk what would happen to myself. honestly, i just wanna just rot in bed tmr, i dont feel like meeting anyone, but cos i promise alrdy, i have to appear.. 

it is getting worst, i overthink. i overthink in my sleep also. idw to. idk how to tell my brain to gimme a break. i really wanna break free from overthinking. i even woke up from a worst case scenario about poon me and my parents. i was awaken by this dream today, it scares me but i didnt share with him. 

what i feel now. towards poon. yes, i am his gf. apart from saying ‘i love u’, he technically did nth thru out the entire day i was down. i understand that he is with his friend. but i am feeling too low to even be considerate about it. at least, talk to me abit? make me feel a bit btr instead of just ‘i love u’? i know u love me and you mean it, but in times of this, too much of such phrases makes me feel i am not impt. i am just a person whom you have to say ‘i love u’ to a few times a day. for so long, i havent felt so lonely on terms of texting. i am a heavy texter to ppl whom i am comfortable in. he is one of them. i always felt a bit sad that when i am awake, he is asleep, why cant fate let him have a normal sleeping time? i really wish he was at least awake to text me when i am on my way to school or in school.. yes, he blame me that i didnt call him up or wake him up, but certain things, it doesnt comes from me, it takes his effort, not just mine. i mean if a person is asleep, what for wake him up for a casual chat esp when the reason is i am bored? this is so unreasonable. 

just ytd issue. btn poon and me. when i started to put in more trust in him, he shakes it again. i trusted him to come meet me with monster also, in fact, i anticipated that, that was the encouragement i told myself, the only reason that keep me awake. the thought of my bf visiting me and delivering a drink i needed so badly that day. end up, he did come (make me feel i am his priority but i was guilty). before that, i was comtrolling my temper not to rage at him. honestly, what does he mean. well if i was in his shoes, it is very simple. come to the gf then meet his friends afterwards. cos he promise the gf to come alrdy, but didnt promise the gf to wait for her after her test. what was promise first should be carried out, what is so hard about it? for me, personally, whoever i made a promise with first, i go with the promise first. unless that person is fking impt to me, which is him, whenever he wants to meet last minute, i have to push some of my plans away just to meet him. i really hope he knows it is hard for me to lie all the time, i dont have so much lies in me to hide from my parents all the time. and in order to make a lie, i have plan ahead, if it is so last minute, i cant think of a perfect reason to lie. but he doesnt get it? he seems to take it for granted that i can meet him any time sometimes, that is what i feel. sometimes, i have to get back home early cos i cnt go home too late. one is my fears of going home alone late at night, second is i cant see shit at night, three my mum is worried for me too. one more thing, shouldnt he pull me into the conversation instead of asking me to try on my own? isnt it easier for him to pull me into a conversation with his friends rather than i awkwardly ask them weird qns? i just hate it when he force me to talk, and if i dont, he would get upset, like srsly, i didnt talk for a reason okay. 

well i do appreciate his efforts, waking up before i go and caring for me. but if he’s gonna ignore me or forget about me when he is with his friends, i rather he dont show me i am his priority. cos it is fking hard to deal with when he isnt there to reply me all the time, reply as in a continuous conversation not a single word of trying to brush me off, yes, it might be a form of acknowledgement of it to me. but then, if i rant to him, do i really need an acknowledgement? hmm, i doubt so. i hate spamming him my feelings my thoughts cos he reads but dont reply me one by one, i hate that. if i tell you my feelings and thoughts fking reply, rants, at least tell me sth instead of a word ‘i reply later cos i chatting or gaming with my friends’ is still btr than a word, but ofc, make sure he replies afterwards lah, if not the words has no meaning. 

it is so hard to not text a person whom you text all the time a day. it is not i didnt wanna text, i am so fking tired and disappoointed at the nonchalant, okay not even nonchalant reply, just a word answer seems like i am disturbing him and brushing me off. i tried to text him, but if i am gonna get a word, what for i continue, sometimes it is not i didnt wanna spam. it’s just i know he wont reply to every single thing, so i am avoiding that disappointment. it takes two hands to clap, he want me to do this, then prove to me, it is worth it. like spamming, you want me to spam, then reply everything lah, i know i say b4 he need not necessarily reply everything but who doesnt want to be replied, if not send for what? 

he always wanted me to text him ‘i want him now’, why would i text a person asleep that? does he knows how much courage it takes for me to ask for things i want?  for almost 10 years, i havent been living for myself, i live for others, i nvr really requested a lot of things. idk how and i fear rejections, imagine mustering tons of courage then got rejected. hell no am i gonna make myself suffer that. best eg, first time i asked him to bring me sth that is extremely out of his way for me, he came but didnt fulfil the things i want. seeing him makes me not angry but the sadness doesnt disappear. 

i am like this now cos i want him to talk to me, even if it is for 2 mins, show that he tries to understand how i feel now. but nah, nope, i had enough of dissapointment today. i aint gonna on my phone until tmr. if he is late for tmr, i am so gonna ignore him for a day. 

as much as i wanna blame him for having fun and forgot about me. but i cnt. 

enough of him.

what cause me so sad and down. it is like i am awake but i aint doing my work. i dont have the energy to do so. i am so tired of everything. 

academic failure. is extremely strong when i failed my CT. 

stress. i m dealing with so many in schools but no one exactly knows what i am going thru. 

home: i have to smile to maintain i am okay feels. one not to let my parents worry and not to anger them. 

friends: i dgaf about them alrdy. i dont have the mood to deal with them. 

him: i am just idk, extremely sad and dissapointed about it, how he acts/ treats me these 2 days, esp today. 

wtv happens next, tonight, i wont gurantee. whether i harm myself or not. i cant be sure. controlling it is so hard. death to me aint scary, what i am scared of is the sadness ppl felt if i harm myself. 

dont blame me to disappear. if he shown more effort, i wouldn't have disappeared due to sadness and disappointment. actually, would he even know i disappear? 

or maybe, i havent been okay, cos i felt neglected by him... apart from my parents, only one more person can me feel so dead when i am alrdy unhappy, which worsen my sadness. 

IF HE HAPPENS TO FIND TILL HERE, I SALUTE HIM COS I DONT EXPECT HIM AT ALL. which implies he knows how to find me when i dissapear.