#esp because the next lyrics are ‘I hope you love your life now like I love mine’

[wearenotasfarwest]

I added some Mountain Goats friendship bracelets to L, though for him they’re more sashes, as a safe place to stay for the time being. I do think the song In League With Dragons has Death Note vibes, but You Were Cool?

You deserved better than you got,

Someone’s got to say it sometime cause it’s true.

People should have told you you were awesome instead of taking advantage of you.

I’ll be crying for the next three to six business days, thanks.

[writerfae]

Okay @bunnymermaidsblog so here’s how “Show Yourself” from Frozen 2 fits Henry

First off, context for this song if it were about Henry is that he just came to the faerie realm.

(Putting the rest under a cut for everyone’s sanity xD)

Now let’s take a closer look to some lyrics…

“Something is familiar, like a dream I can reach but not quite hold […] I'm arriving and it feels like I am home”

When Henry leaves the village to go to the faerie realm, he’s nervous. He has never been there before, if you don’t count the literal day of his birth.

Yet instantly when he’s there, he feels like he’s finally at home. He feels familiarity and belonging. Which is strange to him and kinda hard to grasp, cause he’s never seen this place yet seems to know it.

The thing about fae is that they are very closely tied to their birthplace (the fae realm) and when they are away from it for too long, they start to miss it. They long for home, no matter how little time they spent in that realm.

“The woods are calling all of us home”, as Isleen warned Ranva once. And this is what Henry experienced, why he felt so out of place in the village and instantly feels a connection to the fae realm as he gets there.

Yet he can’t quite name this feeling, let alone understand it, thus his uncertainty.

“I have always been a fortress, cold secrets deep inside”

This one is simple. Henry had always carried the secret of what he was with him. With that he indirectly blocked out people he loved, mainly Aiden, because he didn’t share this secret with him.

“Show yourself, it's your turn. Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life?”

Now with “you” you could say Henry is addressing both the pull he felt that made him go to the fae realm as well as the decision he has made itself (you could say he’s waiting for the decision’s turn to prove him he made the right choice, if that makes sense)

(Maybe he’s also addressing Callan a bit, because if you look at it, Henry now has to fully rely on Callan cause he only has him left. So maybe he’s hoping for Callan to also show him that he made the right choice)

“I've never felt so certain, all my life I've been torn. But I'm here for a reason. Could it be the reason I was born?”

This is also very much Henry cause especially in his teen years he’d been torn between his loyalty to his family and his own desires.

Even at the point where he actually leaves he’s not sure if he made the right choice.

But then he comes to the fae realm and it just feels right. It feels like this is meant to be, he suddenly KNOWS that it’s meant to be, despite his doubts.

He also feels like he’s there for a reason, like him being there has a purpose and therefore simply had to be. He doesn’t know that purpose yet, but he knows it’s important (thus potentially “the reason he was born”)

“I have always been so different, normal rules did not apply. Is this the day […] I finally find out why?”

Here we have it again, a reference to Henry’s life in the village. Where he was loved, yes, but also obviously different. At least most people in the village would agree with that.

Henry hopes that now that he’s at the faerie realm, he will finally fully understand why he is different, will finally discover who he really is as a person.

Because his mother did tell him about being a fae, yes, but there’s still questions. Many questions.

Henry’s whole journey is a lot about getting to know himself, after all.

“I'm no longer trembling. Here I am, I've come so far […]”

Henry waited for answers all his life, especially ever since his mother died. And now he’s in the fae realm and he finally gets his answers, so he’s not afraid anymore.

The next few lines is Henry starting to get used to his new life and investigating, trying to open that door that has been closed for so long.

And then it finally opens and behind it, he finds his mother. And he finds himself.

“Come, my darling, homeward bound. I am found.”

This line is very touching to me (both in the movie but especially in the Henry context) because by going back to his roots, he finds who stood at the beginning of it all. His mother.

By getting to the fae realm (and cause of his research), he got closer to the mother he lost, too. And through her, he also starts finding and recognizing himself.

“Show yourself, step into the power. Grow yourself into something new. You are the one you've been waiting for all of your (my) life”

When Henry finally has found the answers, has found himself, he grows so much as a person. He realizes that all he ever searched for all his life was his true self.

And with that knowledge comes a new confidence within him that helps him a lot in his future.

He’s as sure of himself and his origin now as he’s ever been. And all that cause he took the leap and left his village.

See, there’s many things about this song that I love and that I think fit Henry:

The search for something you can’t name and finally getting close to finding it.

The reunion with your roots and yourself via the image of a mother, carved into memory.

And then finally, to find yourself and trust in yourself, because what you’ve been looking for was within you all along.

Finally understanding, finally finding the truth within you.

Am I overanalyzing this? Most likely, yes, but that’s what you came here for, right? Anyway I hope you like this 🙈

[apurikottotii]

august song recs!

so.... this month was kinda all over the place lmao. it was really bad until it got better. i really want to thank witch's heart for helping me resolve some things. helped me realize that i need to stop overthinking and "strangling your own neck", and to just "choose what's easier for me". i've FINALLY (yes... i'm not trying to gaslight myself this time) into letting go. it's not "under" or anything. it's definitely over. and yeah, i'm sure. i'm sure that they are all good people.

---go go ghost ship - kenshi yonezu

listen i saw a witch's heart animatic of this song and it is SO AMAZING. i just wish it was in english so i could experience it better (there are no captions) :(. my favorite part of the song is when the chorus ends, and the singer repeats the last line (but it's DISTORTED. WHICH. CHANGES THE MEANING) that is so cool. My favorite lyric when he does this is "But I rather suddenly start to laugh / I rather suddenly start to laugh"

---i'm glad you're evil too - pinocchio-p

i sort of talked about this song already, but i honestly randomly listened to it. I really didn't like it back then (which made me so sad because a title like "i'm glad you're evil too" is a title that caters EXACTLY to my tastes). but honestly i wanted to give it another try because i was going through ... a depressive episode and i wanted to see if it would bring me any sort of comfort. man. it's just such a beautiful song. i really love songs that love the simple things in life. that's one of the reasons why i love yorushika so much. unfortunately... when i listen to it now, it reminds me of really bad days (it sucks so much)... AND it romanticizes a friend i had in a way i shouldn't... so while i love this song so much i can't listen to it very often.

---enko shoujo - nashimoto-p

yes.... i watched a kanamafu tiktok and it is SO BEAUTIFUL. i was going to shit out tears. i love songs about growing up so much, especially people who cannot come to terms with it. i also love songs where the speaker has an internal conflict- in this case, the speaker longs for this girl but hates it. lastly... i love songs that have interesting perspectives on love. especially when they call it "disgusting", or something like that. it's really cool. and the cherry on top is the beautiful bridge. seriously i'm tired of hearing muted versions of the chorus for a bridge (esp when they transition into the chorus that then goes a half step up- listen i love that shit but it is getting TIRING).

i love you (what embarrassing words). i need you (what embarrassing feelings). i want you (what a crapping sounding wish, but still)

only love is in her head!

these lyrics really appeal to the romantic in me. isn't it so nice to think of someone who thinks of you this way??

---honorable mentions:

help me erin: listen, this song has been on these posts for months now and i DO NOT CARE. it still continues to bring me so much comfort. i don't even know why, i feel like it captures the frustration and hope/longing i feel. i think i've listened to every youtube remix at this point. makina remix is still on top though. i've memorized the chorus in japanese. next step is to play it honestly.

black sorrow/all-in/my clematis: yes... i watched some alien stage because i heard it was like milgram and i keep seeing those two guys everywhere... i still like milgram better but it was pretty entertaining. these three are my favorite. black sorrow's ending chorus is SO heart wrenching.... arrghh.. all-in is so powerful and catchy and i really love the meaning. my clematis is hauntingly beautiful and also catchy. and depressing. and that "my god / my universe" part is INSANE.

living millenium: yes... "let's be crazy and pretend to fake it all!" (or something like that) is such a good lyric. i have.. no idea what the song is about but iyowa's tuning style is always a pleasure to listen to.

omg lastly i transcribed so many piece (yoru no waltz, kimagure mercy, carefree conversation, etc. i listened to those A LOT!)

[woozi]

henlo yza beloved <33

it's been the same for me 😭 how is april even ending like? i am still in my 2023 just started zone, i've been on autopilot mode tbh, also on purpose avoiding the dates lmao because i don't want to perceive the real time (if that makes sense). i'm so glad and proud of you btw <3

" maybe writers didn't think they'd get that far " CRYINGJSJSDJSK 😭😭 they're just like me then <3.

love how we're so alike <3 because i also don't vibe with the revenge type of media too much, nothing is exciting drama wise this year. trying out classics sounds fun, which ones did you watch? i would love to know <3 AND ALSO SAME I'VE BEEN WATCHING MOVIES SM THIS YEAR, it's surprising to me because i used to be like 'i am not a movie person' turns out i just didn't know how to look for what i really vibe with 😭. i've been trying to watch more slice of life-esqe movies these days, i highly recommend canola ( 2016, korean movie) and also a not so slice of life movie, unlocked. i checked it out because of im siwan skjsksks and ended up wishing for him to not come on screen throughout 😭 ( just bit of warning it's creepy and scary </3 ).

i truly get you </3 hope you get will to read soon <333 it's not a solution but i try to read even just 2 pages whenever i feel like my reading block is out. been reading a book like this since feb djsjsksk ( finally at last few chapters lmao ) i just tell myself slow reading is a thing and don't think too much of it.

sorry bss - second wind. i am now friends with seventeen and fml <3 I AM SO HAPPY YZA <3 i didn't know i needed a song based on dragon ball z this bad lmaoo ( i have zero clue about dbz btw, i was a pokemon - digimon kid) but i get woozi, if i was an artist i too would make all songs about my hyperfixations

i love the song, album and them esp woozi 😭. coups wasn't joking around when he said woozi will shine this cb. they all did tbh.

last two days were definitely the second highlight of this year after bss album for me. it's been so long since i got to be in the whole cb fanfare with anticipating teasers till cb day checking out the music. ( i still have to sit down and listen to the album with lyrics. i first listened to album then read all lyrics next day jsdkks haven't gotten time to both together yet ) i really liked everything about this cb and i love that for me. saur excited for the fml mv too. also today is woodz comeback i'm excited about that too it's been long since i heard new music from him

i've been annoying my friend since caratland about woozi (we both watched it together) 😭 now i think this cb cemented woozi as a bias wrecker for me. sorry that got too long i am just rambling same thing atp.

which ones are your top 3? mine atp are fml, super and idubilu ( yesterday third one was dust dhsjjs ) tell me your thoughts about cb hehe very curious about it

i haven't seen the carat day live either, just watched it through twt clips jdjdks ( i can't watch actually because the app hates me 💀 it doesn't load anything on wifi for me since last year )

ikr <333 plato's been my place to cool down fr. rules about ludo +#(#)#)2 the rules about ludo are that there are no rules 😭 they keep changing locally too. differs from person to person i think. i grew up playing with '6 is the only number which will give you chance to come out of the house' rule, nothing else. feel free to text on disc we can arrange time and date to play 🥰🤍

thank you for taking time out of your life to hang out with me it means a lot, i enjoy your company 🥺🤍. i hope you're taking care of yourself mentally and physically despite the busy schedule 🫂 i love you 💌 sending the best and peaceful days your way my yza <3

MA CHERIEEEEEEEE 🌷🌹🌼🌸💐🌺🌻

same </3 and no bc… how are we finishing a quarter of the year already,,, i also feel like we're just beginning 2023 😭 ALSO SO VALID?????????????????? also not to be morbid, but it just feels like we're accelerating to our deaths atp LMFAOOO

it's literally like,, watching sumn to stress on 😭😭 what is the pOINTTTTTT???? maybe other people wanna live vicariously through those characters but i just want a lil silly plot </3 just some people being nice and happy we already have enough bad shit irl!! the most memorable one that i've watched lately was the truman show!! (WHICH IS INSANE TBH BC LITERALLY A FEW DAYS LATER THE SVTEENIES DROPPED THE FML TEASER WHICH HAD SO MANY REFERENCES TO IT JKFJKGJK) AND URE SOOOOOOOO VALID TBH DFHJFDH we really are so much alike 😭 ALSO LOVE THESE RECCS OMGGGGGGGGG thanks for contributing to my list <33

slow progress is much better than no progress <3 love how u intentionally try to get back to hobbies, that is good for the soul 😋

ALSO MADE ME LAUGH FJDHJDFHFJDDF this album really is woozi-coded 😭 from the dbz references, the mv itself… he's SOO,,, and the amt of woozidans now,,, i'm gonna have to fight for my life buying tickets now LMFAOOOO ALSO COOL OMG <#3333333333 my cousin was also a digimon kid, but i wasn't so i don't actually know anything about it 😔

FELT TOO OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i also have forgotten how busy cbs are (especially svt ones tbh) so it was also such a fun experience for me <3 ALSO LOVE HOW U REALLY TAKE UR TIME TO READ THE LYRICS!! more than the vibe and music itself it really is a crucial factor to consider when looking at the whole package <3 AND AGREED!!! i also really liked everything (sans the office photos jfdjkfdjfdk, BUT I LOVEDD the group teaser one bc of the table lol, just feel like we've seen enough office concepts from them and wished they spiced it up a lil but i get how it fits into the whole fml thing). AND PLEEK OMG I DIDNT KNOW?????????? i should've realized that he also had a cb when i saw the tiktok w vernon 😭 the way u open new paths for me every time is so <33

AND PLEEEEEEEEEEEK i'm glad more people are realizing his actual Power <3 he really was so fluffy during caratland wasn't he? 🥺

mine also changes a lot kjfgkjgjk but ms fire will never be dethroned from the no 1 spot <33 rn my 2 other faves r super and dust <3 i previously word vomited on al about that here if u wanna hear more abt my comeback related bs LMFAOOO

ALSO PLS KJFKJDDJK NOT THE NO RULES 😭 and that's so interesting 👁 AND YOU'RE ALWAYS SO SWEET PLS </333333333333333333333333333333 i will actually cry n throw up thank u for always investing time on me </3

AND OFC </3333 I SHOULD BE THE ONE SAYING THAT!! also tried my best but i've been sick for the past 6 days lmfao 😭😭 hope you're staying well and safe on the other hand <3 ily ma cherie <3333333333

[stormblessed95]

Hey storm, hope you and your family are doing well. I’ve really been enjoying your blog posts lately esp the ATLA post. Who was your favourite side character in ATLA? Mine was Mei, I had such a big crush on her, that I remember being upset when we found out that she was with Zuko (please note, I did not know this was a crush at the time because… ✨heteronormativity✨… so pre teen me was confused). Also, the secondary reason why I am here is because I’ve got some potential army recruits at work. My work environment is pretty relaxed, so we often take turns playing background music from our own playlists. I’ve got the entire office hooked on butter and boy with luv so I’m pretty proud of myself overall lol. Presently, i’ve got two of my co workers properly hooked, and have been reeling them in slowly but surely (not in a cult like way, or MLM way, she says convincingly). My next plan of action is to establish the ‘oh sh*t’ connection, since we’ve got the basics out of the way. I know for me, the moment I watched Jimin’s live performance of serendipity, I wasn’t able to look away. Like I seriously repeated that same video over and over, and when I then explored the other members, I realised that I was gonna be in this bts thing for life, hence the ‘oh sh*t’ (I’m british so I should clarify this phrase has a positive connotation, equivalent to holy hell or woahhh). My question to you, is what 1 or 2 performances, would you recommend I show them for each individual member? Feel free to include fancams or individual/unit performance if you would like. Also, I have no preference on the era or if they are cover songs (cause rainism exists). Thanks Storm x

Hi! This is such a nice ask. Thank you! Oooo omg I loved the crap outta Mei too. Talk about a badass 😍 I won't lie, idk about favorite side character but I had the biggest childhood crush on Azula and on Zuko. Which that also should have told me something that I didn't even register early on. Pretty sure they were my first fictional crushes though. And the fact that they were both villains. Yeah, idk what that says about me. Maybe I don't wanna know. The fact that fictional villains are still who get me too 😅

I recommend things based on the person and what I think they would like, or what their music tastes are outside of BTS. So you've gotta be flexible! Lol

For Joon, again depending on their style of music, but I would probably recommend Persona as a solo and Not Today as a group song he shines in. Or if it wouldn't scare them away as too many in one go, I'd want them to listen to Mono as an album. Because WOW.

For Jin, the solo I would go to is Moon, especially if they like BWL lol I love his voice on that track so much. And as group song I think he shines in Crystal Snow. Because WOW. And I would also want to try and sneak in Come Back Home because his falsetto at the start is insane. But Epiphany is a great song to hook people too

Suga, ahh this will be hard to narrow down. Lol For his solo, I'm going to go with Intro: Nevermind. (Lyrics) It's honestly one of my favorite BTS songs too. And Seesaw is a good one live too. For a group song he shines in is Ma City and 134340.

Hobi, I'd probably go with Just Dance as my solo rec for him. It's just sooooo Hobi. Lol and his live performance slays. As for a group song he shines in, easily Mic Drop

Jimin, i wanna say them all! Lie is what let me know that Jimin owned me now. But Serendipity is that angelic queen. As for a group song Jimin stands out in, I'd rec Perfect Man and Black Swan and also the As I Told You cover

For Tae, his solo i would absolutely go for Singulairity, it's what I sent my friend as soon as she asked who V was. Lol as for group song he shines in, I think I'd say Idol performances, his voice in that song kills me!

For JK, I would recommend Euphoria as his hook in song as a solo. Followed by My Time and Rainism cover for a killer performance. For a group song he stands out in. Like all of them, but Pied Piper and On would be my top picks.

Rapline rec would be Outro: Tear and Ugh

Vocal Line Rec would be House of Cards and Dimple

Thanks for the ask!! This was fun 🥰 Hope you have some new baby armys at work soon!

[cr-darksienna]

hello hello! i’m here to bring you an idol group’s absolutely trash of a leader, rapper and vocal, jeong jaehyuk. he’s a jack of all trades, master of none with a bit of an anger streak and anger issues that he’s been learning over the years to handle. darkly charismatic and with a open history due to a big scandal that he had few months into riot’s debut, hyuk is a performer with a 150% effort and attitude, living like he can burn out in a single day and not live to see the next sunrise tomorrow. incorrigible, possessive and with a slightly petty streak, he’s not one to pull his punches (esp with his members) with anyone that offends him, though he’s been taming himself under bc’s watchful eye until more recently. call him a cesspool of moral filth or a festering pool of toxicity, he’s as deeply insecured behind his antagonistic nature, and has worked ten times as hard for 13 years in his company to get himself to where he kinda is in right now, neither here nor there, halted in his steps by a company that feels he’s not up to it due to his loose handle on emotions and a desperate attempt to quell down on the various scandals that knight has had.

his company has played into the image of the bad boy of the group for him, especially after his first (and only) scandal, and he plans to make the most of it, especially with the reins now loosened on his end. he’s spent quite the time being a tamed tiger, and isn’t going to hesitate upon wreaking havoc once he’s been let loosened.

do hit the like button if you’d like to plot with him, and i’ll pop into your discords / dms! hyuk’s a muse that i prefer brainstorming for instead of having plots ahead of time, so feel free to go ahead and throw anything in his direction when we discuss!

profile / background 

about stuff : (tw: abandonment, anger issues, violence)

he says he doesn’t have parents, which is partially true, considering he spent almost all of his life in the foster care system, until he aged out at 18. being bounced around from foster house to foster house in the adoption system didn’t do well for his own personality and view about himself, and he came away with a really bad anger streak and violent tendencies, especially when someone tries to poke him / agitates him.

if he wasn’t an idol, hyuk would have gone on to do some petty crimes, because prior to the age of 13 (when he was casted by bc for his face), he was sliding towards the dark side of the law, running from school, getting into street fights, doing little things that never set a juvenile record, but still wasn’t all that clean either.

he was casted one day when running away from school when he was 13 (his results needless to say were trash), and was offered a contract because of his face. his company was looking for someone with similar vibes to his own, and was willing to train him as long as he remained committed to the trainee path. he took up the offer with the insistence of his then foster mother--the orphanage’s owner, who honestly couldn’t wait to get rid of him, due to all the trouble he made.

so jaehyuk became a trainee just through a scrape of luck--his rapping skills were pretty okay, and so were his vocals, and bc felt as though they could polish him more if he did became a trainee, and so he started 13 years of his trainee life. being a trainee actually directed a lot of his excess energy from his angered self into his personal commitment to master a single thing--and he eventually became known amongst trainees as one of the most competitive, even if he wasn’t the best at what he did.

he was like a blackhole, constantly desperate to learn, and when he learned something, he was equally as desperate to master it, just doing things in the way that he knew how to do--and that was to knock on it until he either punched a hole through and understood it, or the door opened on itself for him. rapping became that particular outlet that he felt he moderately achieved some success with, but it wasn’t enough.

hungry for more he turned his eyes to producing, composing, even took acting classes and variety classes, just to fill that gaping hole of inadequacy that he felt made him out to be just not enough. while he knows he’s not the best, he’s proud of his unique vision for performance, and is pretty insistent about his artistic vision, which he gradually found a talent for.

but well. its not enough. he wanted--no he needed more.

and so when riot came and he became their leader by some crappy stroke of fate, he set what he felt was the lowest boundary  for all of their members : respect each other, give your best to all that you do for riot, if not, i will sock you in the face. from the beginning, hyuk was very clear that he wouldn’t be the best leader, because he knew he had more than enough flaws in himself, and even felt that he lacked the qualifications to be one, but since his own fate relied on riot being successful, he expected everyone else in the group to at the very least, treat it with the same respect and effort he does, because one way or another they’re all in this whole thing together.

funny thing is: a few months after their debut and their first scandal (that wasn’t his), he lands himself in hot water for a violence scandal, having punched a male bystander in anger. bc was chagrined enough to put him on notice and probation for a while, and desperate to claim back a bit of a credibility, a press conference was held for him to apologise publically.

hyuk abandoned his pride (for various personal reasons as well) that day and went on his hands and knees in front of the reporters, apologising for his scandal and promising to be a better person. unfortunately, that sealed quite a lot of opportunities for him from his company.

his company felt that he needed to get a better grip on his emotions and anger issues before coming out again to the public in other areas apart from his group, and so he wasn’t able to do any variety or act , or even produce any songs (he still wrote lyrics and produced for his group occasionally, and could still produce his own songs, but those songs he produced wouldn’t be selected for a solo), and so to pacify his company hyuk literally abstained from creating another scandal from himself (though he did still cause a bit of problems in his own group), and held himself back until much recently. apart from that, his company publically disclosed much of his history and background to the public--thus rendering it open knowledge that hyuk was an orphan (abandoned by his mother), and from the foster care system, with a slight history of not going well in school etc.

his image is not particularly clean and bright, instead he’s known for the nitty gritty stuff, of which most of his fans have taken to his bad boy image, liking to imagine him to a particular trope because of his apparently rather cute face.

some plot ideas:

he’s a lone wolf by nature, and so he has little (only 2) friends around him, unless you’re mostly from bc and have trained with him for a set amount and a good period of time. these are the people that know him the best, who sees past that angry battered child inside of him to the blackhole that’s yearning for approval and desperate to make himself feel whole again. they’ve seen his self destructive tendencies, watched him careen over the edge and violently fall, do things that he knows clearly isn’t good for him and then suffer the repercussions all over again. ( note: cannot be from his group..he probably doesn’t have a good relationship with most of the riot members)

exes, flings, fwbs : god, he has so many. none of them are consistent, and none of them last between a month to two months really. he simply treats them as if there’s no option of anything further beyond just the wrestle of bodies in bedsheets, and the fierce scratch of his nails against their backs. more often than not, its not him that gets hurt, because he has the tendency to leave before anything further happens. has he fallen for any of them before? probably not. only one, really. don’t get your hopes up, he tells them with a cigarette dangling from his lips and puffs of smoke in the air. because he’s just nothing but the biggest jerk when it comes to feelings and relationships.

the bad influence: he does a lot of vices, from smoking to drinking, to just..a lot of things that most people won’t attempt to try, chasing after that fleeting moment of a thrill and desire. perhaps you’re looking for a kindred spirit who likes the thrill of danger as you do, or you’d like him to spoil you for the worse things in life, open a door to destroy and ruin you completely just like he feels that he’s done to himself.

rivals: ...yeah i don’t think i need to say more, because he’s someone that rises up to the challenge so fully and completely its almost as if he’s itching to have a fight or a challenge. perhaps he’s punched you before, or you differ in your philosophies and values, one way or another, it’s hyuk’s fault that he’s offended you, and you’re both just going to go down because of it.

connection:

the girl he’s in love with (possibly his endgame ; arnd 26 yrs old?) : an idol from a group as well, she’s one of his few closest friends, and he’s known her for around 13 years. they have a on & off friends with benefits thing, with him meeting her after she left his company for 10 years. he’s the one she always gravitates to back again, and they’re equally, broken, twisted and carnal--that’s why they’re perfect for each other, since they’re the only ones that can take and survive each other.

[ohoshi]

omg first i need to talk about nct at song festival (gayo daechukjae) umm first of all mark and taeyongs rap was so good but ofc we all knew they would kill it. and then in nct U class, teacher taeyong looked so good...the way he bit that pointer stick thing in the beginning was so sexc (and the hair and the glasses ahdsfasjf) 😳 but also sungchans rap in that?? i was not expecting that but why am i even surprised anymore.. and also misfit live?? i loved nct's school uniform concept too for some reason ahahaha

and then xiaojun in resonance!! wow yes go shine xj!!! (also idk why but i found it so funny when it was doyoung's turn after xj, but xj was kinda blocking dy (who was really walking with a PURPOSE) so dy lightly pushed him out of the way) and then omg shotaro!! offstage he is so 😊 but damn in hard carry he was so good!! ahh and then also the thing where all the kpop artists at gayo daechukjae sang that song was so cute (i smiled so hard when nct came up 🥺)

yea for my job situation i think it will be okay, i talked to some people i know/mentors about it too and i think things will work out...they always do in the end right? 😊 now about anime LOL this is making me wanna start/rewatch an anime now hahahah! honestly i kind of have phases where i alternate between kdramas and animes, but i havent rly watched anime much lately besides haikyuu (which i was also surprised was still airing (but it's only season 2 so far?)). kpop (aka NCT) has been consuming my life lmao but im here for it 😂

weightlifting fairy was also my first kdrama!! yes i can totally give u some kdrama recs! besides the ones i mentioned before (which are most of my top ones), i also liked chicago typewriter, marriage not dating (i love the fake relationship trope hahaha), dinner mate, sky castle (it's kinda intense but it's so good and an iconic kdrama), cheer up, another miss oh, kingdom (if you like zombie things)...i heard startup is good and i want to watch it soon too! also i continued watching more of uncanny counter these past few days and i love it (but it's ongoing so no binging)

okay now svt: i watched some of your recs and youre so right all their choreos are so satisfying?! i also actually agree with you about black on black, i liked black on black and it was cool but it only featured like 5 members lmao and in the svt choreos it does feel like all of them are featured in some way in each performance? plus their choreos are just so great to watch!! also i've had left and right stuck in my head since i watched it LOL but i agree it's objectively better than dynamite (not an army though; also pls nobody come at us for this lmaoo)

also super random but can you tell me who is the one in the red/purple plaid shirt in the svt home dance practice?? i am kinda attracted by his dance moves LOL and i havent learned names yet 😭 i will continue watching all ur svt recs though hehehe and update you on the status of my fangirling :))

omg wait also i would never have guessed that you're not an english speaker just from these messages!! how did you know that i was prob a native speaker haha (i guess *technically* cantonese is my first language, but then i learned english in school so now i'm obviously more native in that lol and english is the only language i can read/write in)

OMGGF IKR as a multi stan i really enjoyed the rap collab especially because i really love monsta x's rap line (esp i.m!!! his rapping skill 😍) and of course mark and taeyong!!!! 😭 our boys 😭 our golden rappers 😭 SLAYED IT! omg the nct u got me 😳 taeyong looked so good???? wtf? and also sungchan? damn that boy keeps surprising me! the interesting part to me was when one member(johnny if i remember correctly) bumped into taeyong but it was done on purpose and how he uhhh kinda shook his body and his head but it all looked so cool and he never stopped rapping!!! love how they all 'performed' misfit manifesting wild teenagers in school (as they are tbh) IT WAS SO FUN AND COOL!!!

XIAOJUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAS SO!!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!! THE CONFIDENCE??? THE STAGE PRESENCE????? XIAOJUN CENTER???? XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT????? i live 😭 he was so good he looked so good i was so happy and i'm so proud of him 😭 from here the only way to go is up! i hope he keeps surprising us! and omg i haven't noticed that part when doyoung pushed him bc he blocked him?? and i just rewatched it and it looks funny 🤣 but they held everything professionally 😌  no surprises there 😌

OH MY GOD THE HARD CARRY PERFORMANCE!!!!!!!!! first of all our boy shotaro DAMN 😳 he looked so good you couldn’t say that he just debuted a few months ago!! such a dancing machine! (but honestly i am not surprised because in make a wish he was rly good and he debuted as a dancer i expected from him to be good™ as he is!) and i love the duality od him <3 yk that kind of idol that you want to protect at all cost but the next second they're the one you seek protection from? yeH sign me uP! and don't even get me started on hyunjin, juyeon and moonbin!!!!! but i mean all 3 of them are main dancers of course they would look good™ 😌 (yeah shotaro performed with 3 main dancers of 3 different groups i mean the honor??????)

the end of the festival was so wholesome! It was a serotonin boost and me too i also smiled the whole time! so cute 😭 and ot23 were cutiesssss

yes! everything will work out in the end! don't stress about it!<3 oh haikyuu only has 2 seasons? wtf hsgsjsgs ok then i just watched when it had like 13 episodes, WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT that's when i watched it lmao

OMG OK I HAVE WRITTEN DOWN ALL OF THESE DRAMAS (and from the previous ask) IN MY NOTES SO FAR im mostly excited about the fake relationship one 👀 i love fake relationship trope, too 🤧 oh no binging?? is that your thing?? usually i love to wait for the show to finish airing and then i binge watch it in a few days (or one day depends how busy i am)

SEVENTEEN!!!!: yeah all of their choreos are so satisfying (pointing this out one more time) they always pay attention to details (for example in home, bc you're familiar with it, they even choreograph the hands and pay attention to them while most of the other kpop choreos very often freestyle the whole arms sjagaj) here's a fun fact abt svt that makes me love them so much agsgsj: they're self produced! they produce their own music and they even come up with their own choreos!! (of course not on their own, woozi is a producer but he's not making songs on his own he coproduces them with [a producer name bc i guess that's irrelevant but if you’re curious: bumzu], they come up with their own choreo (to be precise, hoshi does! he is 1/2 main dancers in group and he is the main choreographer! he doesn't do everything on his own of course, he gets help from the rest of the performance team (which is a svt subunit consisted of their 2 main and 2 lead dancers: hoshi, dino, the8, jun) and of course some other infamous kpop choreography teams) and i think that, by now, all the members were credited at least once for the lyrics

I'M SO GLAD YOU HAVE LEFT AND RIGHT STUCK IN YOUR HEAD HAGSJSSGSG but i mean of course you would it's soo good and soo catchy (yeahhh no worries, this army has already gotten minor hate for having controversial opinions™ and for criticising her faves so idc anymore 💁🏻‍♀️ it's my opinion as a dancer and i stand by it, even can't you see me by txt is better than dynamite so literally 3 dance performance were better!!!! in a way!!!! and neither of the 3 won!!! yes i am salty!!!!!)

the guy in the red/purple shirt (the center guy when they do the 3 dances for the first time right??) IS DINO!!!! he's the maknae and 2/2 main dancers in svt so!!! of course you would be attracted by his moves!!!!!! JSGSJSN i'm curious to see if you end up staning svt and biasing dino hsfsjsgsha

CANTONESE IS YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE? damn i thought you couldn’t get more interesting here's a dumb question: can you understand xiaojun, hendery and lucas without titles??? not that i would know if they ever speak cantonese in front of the camera for i don't know the difference between chinese dialects</3

[elsaclack]

hi em how are you? i've been dying to get your opinion on the lover album, if you have the time/interest :)

hi i’m good!!! i’m real good my mom’s doctor gave us really good news yesterday so i’m cruising on good vibes rn and yeah i’m great!!!

literally i have been DYING to unload my thoughts on lover since 3 seconds after it came out omg????? i had a deeply intense discussion with my roommate last night about each song on the album and what it specifically means to us so like this is Peak Talking Opportunity For Me which as a messy hoe i honestly love

i’m putting it under the cut though bc i do not want to be Obnoxious

okay first and foremost, i forgot that you existed? DEEPLY iconic. my roommate doesn’t like this one as much as some of the others on the album but it’s def top 3 for me. like, everything about it is so perfect - the message the song sends is one of hope for people who are kind of hopelessly tangled up in drama at the moment (i.e. don’t worry, soon enough you’re going to wake up one day and forget that all of those people even exist (which is HELLA true)) but like!!! even the music she wrote with the song kind of supports the message!! my roommate’s biggest complaint with that song is that she feels like the music needs to Build and Go Places more than it does, but like........god the whole point of the song is that it’s written to a person taylor’s indifferent toward, shouldn’t the music seem a little indifferent too?? like yes there’s joy and it does build and it does move but if it DID get super dramatic it would actually contradict the message of the song so like??? it’s??? perfect??? and i have scream-singed it in my car a million times already thank u for asking

i’ll be honest, cruel summer doesn’t do as much for me as some of the other songs on the album,,,,,i mean i like it and i can DEF sing along to it and the line “i love you ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard” is such a mood. it’s the first song on the album that i was like oh she probably started writing that (or at least getting the idea to write it) the summer every angry mob in america was calling for her head bc like there’s definitely a sense of self-deprecation/preservation in some of the lyrics. idk it strikes me as a song about how terrifying vulnerability is especially in the face of such public and global hatred directed toward you

LOVER. lover. lllllllover oh my god i love lover which i was not prepared to do since that word seriously bums me out 100% of the time but it’s so sweet??? so sweet and honest and like. what i thought love was when i was a kid?? just finding that other person and being like “oh, you’re like....you’re IT” and like HA wouldn’t it be grand to be in love?? also the brIDGE??? THE BRIDGE!!!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WILL YOU PLEASE STAND!!! WITH EVERY GUITAR STRING SCAR ON MY HAND!!! I TAKE THIS MAGNETIC FORCE OF A MAN TO BE MY LOVERRRRRR!!!! MY HEART’S BEEN BORROWED AND YOUR’S HAS BEEN BLUE!!! ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL TO END UP WITH YOU!!! SWEAR TO BE OVER-DRAMATIC A N D T R U E TO MY LOVERRRRR!!!! and oh man i wanna be in love anyways moving on

the man honestly took me a few tries to like but i definitely have a healthy amount of respect for it now. like idk it felt a little out of place at first given that this whole album is supposed to be about love and that song is,,,,,,not (at first glance) but the more i listen to it the more i realize that it sort of is in a way? like she’s been painted as this serial dater since day one when in reality her dating history isn’t really that sordid?? just extremely public. and in listening to the lyrics it sort of dawned on me that her frustration with the way society treats women stems from that reputation (ha) that was forced on her and the way that reputation colored every other interaction she’s ever had with popular culture. like every microinteraction i’ve heard about involving her has been overwhelmingly positive but then you look at media as a whole and they make her out to be this entirely different person and part of u has to wonder if it would even be an issue if you took all the same behaviors, dating history, microinteractions etc. and applied them to an equally famous man. and the answer is no it would not be an issue

the archer made me cry the first time i heard it and it still kind of strikes me at my core a lot if i don’t distract myself with other things while it’s on? like sitting down and actually listening to the words is. tough bc i relate to it a lot and not in the fun scream-sing in the car way that i relate to i forgot that you existed. that song actually makes me really uncomfortable with who i am bc like god!!!!! i have been the archer!!!! i have been the prey!!!! i don’t understand why people have left me and i REALLY don’t understand why people stay!!!!! in all seriousness though it goes back to that struggling with vulnerability thing - by being vulnerable you’re opening up the scariest, rawest parts of yourself to other people and risking being rejected for those scary raw parts. it’s a song about struggling between building those walls up to protect yourself or risking getting hurt for the sake of love - and lucky for her she seems to have found someone who has seen the scary raw stuff in her life and has decided that he wants to stay

i think he knows is the song both me and my roommate bump in our cars whenever we go places together because it’s SO FUN i don’t even know what else to say other than i cry laughing every time my roommate tries to sing “lyrical smile indigo eyes hand on my thigh we can follow the sparks i’ll drive” bc it’s SUCH a tongue-twister for her it’s fhaldskfhadslfkj FUNNY

miss americana & the heartbreak prince is another one that i was kind of so-so about at first but the more i listen to it the more i love it?? it’s so Dramatique in the best way like it makes me feel like i’m watching a movie preview about a dystopian high school in slow motion and honestly i LOVE it

my roommate’s favorite song on the whole album is paper rings and i love it too honestly it’s another one we bump in the car bc it’s SUPER fun to sing with other people lmfao she described it as “the song you hear in a preview for a romcom set in new york city” and i was like YEAH THAT’S ACCURATE but what’s really funny is that?? that’s probably?? exactly?? what it is?? anyways

i’m kind of...meh...about cornelia street yikes i’ve read people talking about how good it is and i’m trying to like it but it’s just,,,,i mean it’s not bad not by any stretch of the imagination but personally i like other songs on the album more hfaldskfjs

death by a thousand cuts!!!!!! that’s my roommate’s other favorite song lmao!!! again the more i listen to it the more i like it but i def like others on the album more at this point

i had london boy stuck in my head all day yesterday it’s so funny god i know a lot of people who live in and around london have some issues with it which is FINE i won’t pretend like i know anything about it but i think it’s cute LMAO

i can’t listen to soon you’ll get better without legit ugly crying (like we’re talking full on sobbing) just because of everything going on with my own mom right now so maybe in a year or two when things have cleared a little for her i might be able to listen to it again but rn i’ve only listened to it all the way through once

honestly i don’t really like false god that much and i can’t really identify why it’s just,,,,fhasdlfk

you need to calm down is just a straight up bop that i sing in the shower a lot and i know it was controversial esp after the music video came out but like. on a base level the song is just fun

afterglow is one of my other top three on the album,,,,,,,,bc again,,,,,,,,,,relatable,,,,,,,like realizing that she’s safe with this person after kind of instinctively flying off the handle,,,,,,,god. idk i’ve heard a lot of apology songs in the past but this one kind of strikes me bc like,,,,idk she takes full responsibility for it rather than trying to justify it with the conditions that beat that kind of behavior into her over the last few years. she’s taking responsibility for her actions, she’s apologizing, she’s asking him to stay, and at the same time she’s pointing out that she’s human and will probably make similar mistakes in the future and idk that’s just reassuring? bc i’m also human and i also make really big dumb mistakes that hurt other people in the name of self-preservation and i can only hope that someday i’ll meet someone who will stick around anyways

me! is a bop as well it’s massively overplayed at this point and i kind of skip it when i’m listening by myself but my roommate and i scream-sing that one too LMFAO

it’s nice to have a friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this really is what i thought love would be when i was in like 3rd grade and just becoming aware of it as a concept!!!!!!!! there was a little boy who lived next door and we were best friends growing up and there was never any romantic aspect to our friendship (that i am aware of) but we used to play outside together all the time and it was sweet and simple and secure and that’s the way that song makes me feel!!! also i read that every single instrument/vocal performance on that song (outside of taylor herself) was done by a children’s music group which just adds to the childlike sweetness of the song and gah it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

daylight,,,,,,,,,,,,,that’s my number 1 y’all i freaking LOVE daylight holy HELL i can’t wait to make my other roommate play/sing it with me at our house show next month??? god it’s just. it’s so indicative of where she’s been, the hell she’s been through both internally- and externally-imposed, and how it makes this moment she now gets to have with the person she loves that much sweeter?? i don’t know i feel like my heart is going to explode every time i hear it and i’m not even remotely close to being in love so i can’t imagine how much deeper it’ll hit if/when i ever do fall in love again and

god i just

i really like lover as an album a WHOLE lot 

[ibangtanthings]

Fake Love - pt 3

gif

“I wanted to tell you before the others..."

Jungkook seemed worried now. "Is it something serious? Is something wrong?"

"No." You assured. "Things are fine...it's just that we've known each other for a while now and we've gotten really close but there's something I've been keeping to myself. Something you might not understand at first."

"But you can tell me anything..at least, I thought you knew that. I mean, I know we hardly ever have serious conversations but we're best friends aren't we?"

~~~

"Noona is that you?" He knocked on the door.

You sniffled and sat with your back against the door to make sure he wouldn't get in.

"What's wrong? Open the door." He said.

"I'm fine." You answered with a tiny shaky voice.

That only made him more anxious.

"Noona open the door. Let me see that you're fine." He said more sternly.

Embarrassed, you didn't want this to escalate anymore, especially over something so stupid as your emotions.

You stood up, turned around and unlocked the door. "I thought I told you not to call me that." You said, walking past him, trying to prevent him from seeing your swollen face.

"You're not fine." He said as he grabbed your arm and turned you around. He saw your face and he was holding you so tight you couldn't move away. "You're not fine, tell me what's wrong."

"Jungkook-" you began, seemingly bothered.

"What? Are you annoyed? You want me to give you space? Leave you alone to keep feeling bad? If it were me, would you just leave me alone? Answer honestly and I'll go if that's what you really choose." He said. You were kind of surprised at his tone. Yet he seemed so mature in that moment.

If it we're him, you wouldn't have left him alone either.

"What's wrong Y/N?" He asked again, wiping one of your fallen tears away.

You caught his hand. "Not here." You looked around.

The two of you were standing in the middle of the dance room. He had found you hiding out in the closet where all the props were stored.

You led him back into the room and he didn't want to let go of your hand so you guys sat side by side. Your hand was on your knee and his hand remained over yours.

"It's stupid..."

"I want to hear it." He said immediately.

You looked at him and his eyes assured you that he was there for you. How funny it seemed that just a few days ago you were thinking about how lucky he was being so young and naive. Now he was the one to bring you comfort along with a sense of security as he gave off a protective vibe.

"I was just remembering my old life...you know, back in the city. I got sad remembering some of the things I used to do every week.....My old routines and certain places I would go."

"You got homesick." Jungkook replied knowingly.

"But it's stupid. I left because I hated it there."

"Still, it's where you grew up. It's okay to miss things. Don't feel like you have to hate everything about it if you don't."

"How can I move on if I don't hate it? If I keep remembering the good stuff then I'll never move on. I can't go back."

"Why not?" He asked, trying to understand.

You looked at him and wondered.

Could you tell him? Would he pity you? Would he be surprised?

He thought you came here to pursue a music career but that wasn't the truth.

The truth was that you started out in the music industry alongside your ex-boyfriend. You were his producer and he was a singer.

The guys knew that you helped launch his career but you gave him a fake name, a rapper that recently blew up in the states.

They didn't know you two were together at one point and  that he was actually a singer, a very good one at that.

So you let them think he was rapper but he was a singer and sometimes they played his songs.

Namjoon particularly loved his music and rightfully so, but each time his song came on the radio you had get away somehow. You couldn't listen to his voice.

Things between you two started off like any terrible romance movie.

It was just the two of you creating music so different that the genre hardly existed in the mainstream area.

Songs about romance were typical but these songs talked about the ugly side of love.

Yet you and him were more in love than ever.

His first EP did well. It got him a sufficient fanbase and it  marked your first credited work. You two continued to work on new music and released the songs as they came.

This created a huge demand for a full length album but you guys lacked the funds for it to be as great as you envisioned it to be. As the fanbase grew steadily, the demand did too and labels began to notice.

Contracts were flooding his way.

Everything fell into place so perfectly. He said he wouldn't sign with anyone unless you were signed on as a co-producer too.

The labels worried about the relationship since you guys were just young lovers. No one knew about your relationship except the labels. The fans knew your name only because they hailed you as a great producer along his side. They encourage your friendship and we're excited to see if you would produce his next album as well.

With the looming demand for his next project, the labels agreed to hire you as a producer.

With a couple of signatures on paper, you guys now had money and fame.

Your names would pop up together all the time as the next great creators in the music industry. He was getting prepped to be a star while you were getting calls left and right from artists that wanted to be the next big thing.

But under contract, you were to focus on ****'s next album before working with other artists outside the label. That was not an issue since you and him were very much focused on his music and each other.

What was better than working with the person you loved? As far as anyone who knew could tell, you guys were the definition of soul mates. Perfect for each other.

Two young lovers somehow made their dreams come true.

Eventually he proposed in the simplest way possible.

It was right before the tour began.

One night in the studio he said he had an idea for a song so he pulled out a ukulele and started singing. He asked you to marry him and you obviously said yes.

Even now, admittedly.....he had your favorite voice in the whole world. You loved everything about his voice. Even when he spoke, you adored his speech and felt such comfort with each syllable.

No one could ever remove his voice from your memory.

The marriage was to be postponed until after the first tour.

Little did you know that tour would be the end of everything.

Touring was tough, especially on him but there were so many factors that led to his corruption.

At first it was fun, there was no denying that the rush of living out your dreams was incredible and worth every effort.

What started as celebratory gestures became endless rounds of booze and drugs. People left and right we're joining the crew, and they felt like friends at the beginning, but not your friends, his.

Why? Well, because he was the star. He was the one funding everything.

Partying each and every night when he should've been resting for the next stop, took a toll on you both.

Once the tour was over, the label expected another great project. That's the whole reason why you were to go on tour with him in the first place.

But with the hectic schedule, time with him felt restricted.

Only during the after parties did you guys really find time for yourselves without the worries about work.

But even then, free time was a rare occasion.

It got to a point where you two would disappear from the party just to fuck somewhere else and come back later, very inconspicuously.

Everyone knew what you two were up to, it was no secret.

You didn't like how crazy things were getting so you told him to go easy on the alcohol and drugs. It was already affecting his energy. The more you reminded him about the work, the more defensive he got and he fell harder into the party habits.

Things became worse and worse very quickly.

Fight after fight, he pushed you away. He cheated multiple times and it hurt you in a way that you didn't know was possible. Yet you stayed, hoping he could focus on what you guys had before.

But it was too late. His so called friends were practically using him. He was addicted to his ways of self medication. He had no focus anymore.

He was a different person most of the time.

When he was sober and in your bed however, he was absolutely the love of your life again.

Leaving his arms felt so wrong. You knew you couldn't live without him. You knew it but you were so weak and dumb.

After time and time again with the lies, the cheating, the fighting, the became relationship was so toxic that you finally wanted to leave.

You needed to leave for your own sanity. He was lost. He was suffering.

You knew that but you also knew that you couldn't help him. You couldn't save him from himself. Maybe leaving him would help him realize that this wasn't a game anymore.

When you had packed your bags and told him you were going home, he refused to acknowledge the end of your matrimonial engagement.

He wouldn't let you leave.

You had no choice but to leave when he wouldn't notice or be able to stop you.

Whatever love he ever felt for you turned into anger instantly.

He accused you of quitting without just reason. He told the label you were caught working for an artist outside the company.

With just those false accusations, the label took the few demos you guys had completed under full ownership.

Your equipment back at the studio was confiscated and they extracted every last track you had saved.

All of your hard work was now theirs.

He let them steal your content and he used it for his next album anyways.

The worst part was that you were the one painted out to be the bad guy. You were the one who was blackballed in the industry when his album did extremely well.

He changed the lyrics to a lot of the songs you guys created together, sending subliminal messages, making you the evil person in the relationship. Some of the lyrics however, we're brutally honest. They relayed your relationship truthfully and it hurt.

Jungkook held you tight in his arms now, trying to get you to stop shaking as you sobbed.

"They didn't stop there. The label threatened anyone who tried to meet with me. By then I had no more money. They sent loan sharks to threaten me....I had no choice but to move. Bang PD found me and I begged him to help me. I got on my knees and begged him to bring me here."

"Thank God he took you away from there. You're safe here now, you know that. You have me too, and everyone else. Fuck that guy and everything he did to you. You have every right to miss home. You grew up there. It might have become a living hell after everything that's happened but don't let him ruin everything for you. Don't let him win like that." He replied.

You realized that he was right. You couldn't let your stupid ex-boyfriend and shitty label continue to torment your mind if it was a thing of the past now. You were happy now.

"I miss this bakery I used to go to. They had the best milk tea."

"Milk tea?" He repeated. "I can get you that here. We can taste test a million of them until you find one that you like."

"Really?" You smirked. "That's ridiculous."

"Anything to get rid of homesickness. Sometimes our managers drive really far when we're in the states, just to get us Korean food." He explained.

"Right...you guys probably experience homesickness more than I do." You felt a bit embarrassed again for being so self centered.

He squeezed you in his arms again and gently swayed from side to side as he let out a big sigh. "Promise me you won't lock the door ever again. I need you to talk to me. Don't shut me out. How can I be your best friend if you push me away?"

"I promise." You nodded.

"Seriously Y/N, tell me if anything happens. If you're worried or afraid, tell me, tell Bang PD. We can always figure it out together."

~~~

He had managed to calm you down from that panic attack quickly. You felt much better about the past after that. You hadn't broken down in such a way since. That was when you really knew that Jungkook was your closest friend. That was when you really began to feel comfortable around him.

"We are best friends." You said. "I trust you. I just don't want you to think that I kept this from you for any particular reason other than the fact that it has to do with Yoongi....who is also your best friend."

"What about Yoongi?" He said anxiously. "Is work not going well?"

"Jungkook...." You looked away. "We're dating...Yoongi and I...we are together." You said looking at your fidgeting hands.

He just giggled, much to your surprise.

"Good one." He smirked. "I'm not falling for it, you have to try harder but be warned, I'm great at pranks too."

He got up to start the game console but before he could reach for the controller you blocked his way.

"I'm not....I'm not joking. You can ask him right now. He wouldn't joke about something like this."

Jungkook was the type to refuse to believe you without proof so you dialed Yoongi right there.

"Right. You guys are obviously in on this together. He's going to say 'yeah, we're dating or whatever' but I still won't believe it. He's been trying to come for my title as your best friend. Is that what you guys do now? Joke around like this?" He scoffed. "I can plan way better pranks."

"Hey, what's going on?" Yoongi asked through the phone.

"Come to Kookie's room.....I uhm...told him about us but he doesn't believe me. I should've told you I was going to tell him. I'm sorry, I just couldn't lie to him anymore. He thinks I'm playing some kind of joke."

"Haha. You're a great actress. You probably aren't even talking to him." Jungkook happily continued to put on the video game.

"It's okay. Open the door." Yoongi said and within a few seconds he had made his way over from his room.

"Where are you going?" Jungkook asked as you walked to the door.

Jungkook's expression changed once he saw Yoongi.

"You calling my girlfriend a liar?" He asked.

"No. That's Y/N, she's not your girlfriend..." Jungkook said blankly.

"We aren't joking...look I didn't say anything before because I wanted to protect her. Once people find out they'll treat her differently. I know this might be weird but it really isn't. We've been getting to know each other for a while and things just grew from there, I don't know. Do I really need to explain how this happened?" Yoongi gave him a look.

"That your dating my best friend? YEAH. How come you never mentioned anything before?" Jungkook looked back at you. "You never once mentioned that you were starting to feel something for each other. I thought we could talk about anything."

"That doesn't mean she has to tell you everything." Yoongi added. "This wasn't something that was planned. It just happened, and in order to protect her we decided it was best if people got to know her a little bit better. Once she gets settled inside the company, perhaps it'll be less shocking once we tell the rest of the staff."

"It's you were talking about." Jungkook stated, clearly upset now. "It's shocking nonetheless."

"I didn't think you would react this way, I'm sorry. I should have swallowed my pride and told you sooner."

"Don't worry about it. I'll get over it eventually." He said walking away.

"Wait, Jeon Jungkook." Yoongi called.

The door slammed shut behind him and you felt a huge weight press on your shoulders.

Where is he going? You were in his room...

"Hey, it's fine." Yoongi said, seeing you frown. He hugged you from behind. "Let him cool off a little. He needs his space."

You knew then where he was going. He was going back to the office building. He was going back to the closet where he once found you crying.

"No....I need to talk it out with him."

"I'm telling you, he's fine."

"Yoongi, think about it. This is serious. If he's not okay with this then it'll make things harder."

"For you, not for me."

"Yoongi." you sighed, turning around to face him.

"I've known him longer. Can you please just trust me on this one? Give it until tomorrow." He said.

You didn't want this to become an issue, so you agreed.

At first you thought Yoongi didn't care about Jungkook's opinion but he did. Sometimes he could be harsh but he even talked to you about it as you pondered what to say to him tomorrow.

Yoongi felt bad that Jungkook was taking it so strongly so he worried about what the others would say.

Most of all he wondered when you and Jungkook got so close that it would bother him so much.

You didn't want to tell him about your breakdown in the closet and the whole story about your ex. It was embarrassing.

Yoongi only saw you as this strong and independent creator that made a name for herself in the states. He only knew of the positive angles that the media reported when things were good. He had no idea about the bad stuff that went down.

You didn't want him to see you as weak or stupid for putting up with all that stuff and then running away.

That was the last thing you wanted him to see you as....

The next day Jungkook was no where to be found. He skipped the early morning recording session and the guys thought it was really unlike him so they got worried.

You and Yoongi had to spill the beans about what happened. The guys were supportive but they understood Jungkook's struggle.

Maybe it wasn't necessarily about the two of you being together but if the relationship ended badly then it would place him in a really bad spot. It would make everything more awkward. He would be torn between two people he cares about.

You hadn't thought of that and even worse....what the guys didn't know is that Jungkook knew the type of person you were. He knew that if things ended badly, you would probably run away again.

"I didn't think this thing through all the way.." you admitted.

"I did. I knew what this meant when I asked you out....Does this mean you've changed your mind?" Yoongi asked seriously.

"No. Of course not." You assured him. "I'm late for a meeting. I'll talk to you later."

"Wait." He said stopping you in your tracks.

You walked back over to him and he seemed anxious.

There was a tension building up between the two of you. If things continued this way then surely it would result in your first fight.

"I'm sorry." He said, making your heart melt. "I'll talk to him the next time I see him."

"When I said I didn't think this through, it wasn't because I was regretting our decision to be together. I'm sorry my wording was dumb."

"I love you...You know I never wanted this. I just wanted to make music. If we can do that together, for as long as possible then I'll be happy. This fame doesn't mean anything to me."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. "Would you really choose me over them? I won't let you. Don't make me the reason you guys fall apart. You guys mean a lot to a lot of people.....I think I know where he is. I'm going to look for him after my meeting."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight then." He kissed you again.

You felt butterflies in your stomach. You guys were so close to arguing but he handled everything so well.

This is what a real relationship is like...

This is how healthy relationships should function....

Or so you thought...

__

"Hey." You said softly and he gave you a weak "hey" back.

He was sitting in the closet, a bottle of water on his right and a pillow on his left.

"Did you sleep here?" You asked.

He didn't answer but he patted the pillow, motioning for you to sit down.

You did and there was a long silence.

He didn't seem angry, more like depressed.

"I'm sorry." You finally said.

He turned to you and shook his head. "Don't...." He turned away again. "If you really love him then I'm happy he has someone like you."

"If things don't work out-"

"I'll side with you." He said.

"What?" You had a case of Deja Vu. Yoongi was saying the exact same thing before.

"If you guys break up. I won't be his friend anymore, just yours."

"That makes no sense."

It sounded so immature when he said that. As if choosing sides was necessary.

"If he breaks your heart, I won't be able to forgive him." Jungkook said firmly. "You are a good person. He is questionable sometimes."

Again, he proved you wrong. He wasn't being immature, he was just worried about you and for some reason it made you upset.

"Why is everything so black and white when you talk about our relationship?"

"He is a very black and white person. Things are simple to him. That might hurt you in the end." He stated.

Was he trying to convince you or warn you that dating Yoongi was a mistake?

"If you're worried that a breakup could lead to your friendship falling apart, you have every right to be mad at me. I didn't think about that but I doubt that could happen. This isn't a game to either one of us. We made this decision together. We aren't just testing the waters. We're serious about each other. If it ends, it doesn't mean it'll end on bad terms. You're young, and you might not understand but-"

"I'm tired of you assuming I don't understand because I'm younger than you." He raised his voice slightly. "It's only a couple of years. I know what it's like to care about someone so much it hurts. I know what a relationship is. You may think I'm overreacting but if you guys break up then this isn't just something to put in the past. You work here. You have to see him everyday and you have no where else to go. Will you leave to some other foreign land where no one knows you? Will you be able to say goodbye to me so easily?"

"I can't promise that won't happen but it won't be easy leaving. It never is." You replied.

"I'll tell him everything then. You won't leave without him knowing the truth. I will tell everyone everything."

"I know you. I know you would never do that. You're talking as if this is definite. You're talking as if we already broke up."

"I wish you guys would! He is so arrogant and selfish for even considering this as a possibility, but why should I be surprised? The band means shit to him." He yelled.

You couldn't reply back. He was right. You knew he was right, and he knew it too by your lack of response.

"Why would you consider it too?" He asked, defeated. There were tears in his eyes.

"Because I love him Jungkook....I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry. I wish I had told you sooner." You got up.

You wanted to hide your face as always. He followed you and he spun you around.

"No I am." He said placing a hand on your cheek and his forehead against yours. "I'm sorry."

"What are you saying Jungkook?" You felt your cheeks flush. "Please don't be upset. Don't cry."

His face was so close to yours and you could almost hear his heart racing too.

His lips met yours and you backed away immediately.

"Jungkook!" You held him back.

"I was in love with you and yet you never even noticed. For that I'm sorry. From now on, you can be happy with him and when he hurts you please don't come crying to me."

"I don't- Are you saying we're not friends anymore?" You asked.

You could forgive him for stealing a kiss but for behaving this way in general and ending your friendship so abruptly, you felt hurt.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." He said, pushing your hand away.

He got up and left. You were frozen in place, wondering how he could treat you like that.

He was the one acting like your friendship meant nothing now. He was done pretending to be your friend when he really wanted more and it hurt to know that he was hiding that this whole time.

You replayed his words over and over again. He was a fake.

This whole time, he was trying to be the Jungkook you liked the most, not himself.

You ran outside the door but he was already gone so you ran back to the studios to find Yoongi who was no where in sight.

Your emotions got the better of you and people saw you crying as you rushed to leave the building. They were tears of anger and hurt.

Jungkook probably felt the same way but you couldn't pity him. He brought this onto himself. He was no longer your friend.

______

Part 4

[all-at-once-you-are-the-one]

Stream of Consciousness Lover Album Reaction

I wrote out my first thoughts while listening to the album and put them in one big post. I hope you find them as funny as I do lmao

1. I Forget That You Existed

LOL so that’s what the drake Easter egg was about!

Who is this about????

NIIIIiiiiiiiiiIIIiiiiCE

SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD

I JUST FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE LMAOOO

HER LAUGH!! SO CUTE!!

This track is somehow savage and adorable at the same time

So......yeah.......

ShnfhKJHGKSHDKGHSKGHSJG

2. Cruel Summer

This is giving me Katy perry vibes

The devils roll their dice line is from this?? Didn’t expect that

This is maybe the catchiest song I’ve ever heard

Why is this not a single??????

STILL DONT KNOW WHAT SUMMERS A KNIFE MEANS

EXPLAIN TAYLOR

This also kind of gives me Jonas brothers vibes, why???

Again.....what is this about???

OooOOoooOooWhoooooAAAAhh i loveeee this

OOOH no you know what this gives me GETAWAY CAR vibes

Wait...do we think that at the beginning joe wanted to keep their relationship private and Taylor agreed but then changed her mind? WAIT NO.....is this about her having to keep her love for joe secret at first the summer they met because she was with someone else/it was too soon??

3. Lover

Ok SUPER WEIRD transition into lover but OK

As much as I love albums with a clear narrative like rep I also like being all over the place so this is fine

CAN I GO WHERE YOU GOOOOOO

FOR EVER AND EVER ANDIIIII

YOURE MY MY MY MYYYYY LOVER

I wonder what inspired her to use the term lover? Does she not know that normal people don’t speak like that?

WAIT IS THE REASON LOVER COMES AFTER CRUEL SUMMER because of the 3 summers line?? Like look how we started...now were here

Does the album begin with i forgot you existed because its like ok this Kanye situation happened...but now were gonna forget about that and talk about the realer real story of the past couple years of my life rather than seeing it through the lens of that story like on rep

4. The Man

THE ACCURACY

THE ACCURAACCCCYYYYYYYYY

IT HUUURRTTSSS

Honestly though i actually thought this one would be more savage, i thi

DID SHE JUST SAY BITCHES AND MODELSSSS?????

SLJGSHUKGHKDG

Never mind this is as savage as i wanted

I should know better than to judge a Taylor song before the bridge

Again why isn’t this a single.....it better be

5. The Archer

The emotional whiplash this album is giving me is insane.

It’s like RED but with synths

Is the archer placed here because part of her lack of self confidence comes from the things the media says about her (because she’s a woman not a man?) INTERESTING THOUGHT

Don’t have much else to say about this, we already know

.....

Wow the cake i bought for tonight is somehow way too sweet

6. I Think He Knows

Definitely didn’t think i think he knows was about being horny af

But this is so catchy

Why is everything so catchy?? Literally every song should be a single

BOY I UNDERSTAND the confidence!! After the archer!! I love that he makes her feel that way1!!

I THINK HE KNOOOOOOOWWWWSS

This gives me teenage dream vibes and i fucking love that song

7. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Ok time for the one with the weird title

I love how she keeps comparing her current feelings to how she felt as a teenager!! How its the same and different....very good.

SHES A BAD BAD GIRL

More dice!

Is she imagining what it would be like if she was in this relationship in high school? Because I DO THAT ALL THE TIIIIME GIRL SAME

THATS MY WHOLE WORLD SOOOO CUUUUTE

YOU PLAY STUPID GAMES YOU WIN STUPID PRIZES

VOTED

MOST

LIKELY

TO

RUN

AWAY

WITH

YOU

I really like this one. I didn’t expect I would.

This should be a single.

8. Paper Rings

THE VOICE EFFECT

She’s singing so fast on these songs!!!! I CANT KEEP UPP

UH HUH

THATS RIGHT

This is so retro and i loooooooooooooooooooooove it

DIRTY DREAMS??????? TAYLOR PLEASE

OMG THE COLOUR WE PAINTED YOUR BROTHERS WALL

THE PICTURE

THE PICTURE

FROM THE REP MAGAZINES

SDIHGUSHGUKHDZRKUGHKUDZHGUHDZGHDKZHGYIDZJLGJLDJGJSDJGDHZGHLGHLSHGHDG

II LIKE SHINY THINGS

THIS SONG IS SO FUN! ALL THESE SONGS ARE SO FUN!!

Ok baby boy that’s kinda weird but you know what..

....

....

Ok its still weird but maybe it will grow on me

This should be a single.

9. Cornelia Street

HERE IT IS!!! THE FIRST TAYLOR PRODUCED SONG

I NEVER WANT CORNELIA STREET AGAIN?? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?? THEIR WORST FIGHT? ANOTHER RELATIONSIP? QUESTIONS

The storytelling!

Wait......is this about before they ran away together in CIWYW?? Like she thought he didn’t really want her so she was gonna run away alone...but then he was like no i really do lets go

I totally thought that this was the one with the staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town line was from

She ended it with the line she started with (i think)? Ike she used to!

Kinda feel like people hyped this one up too much but i do like it

10. Death by a Thousand Cuts

The piano!!!!

Like a thousand notes a thousand cuts

Look through the windows of this love - like the heart on her eye! I get it I GET IT lmaoooo

If this song was on red it would have the saddest production but on this album its a bop

11. London Boy

IS THAT JOE??? OMG lmao

HER ACCENT LMAOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know if this song is supposed to be as hilarious as i think it is but i really do think its hilarious

What does like a Tennessee Stella McCartney even mean????

I kinda feel like this song is too specific to her life to be relatable so maybe that’s why i feel that way about it?

12. Soon You’ll Get Better

Ok great... so we went from that to the sad one

I have to prepare

I didn’t tell you i was scared....

Cause you have to...

The fact that this is the country song...

I cant

GOD NOW IM CRYING THIS IS SO SAD

That was the only song so far i had to actually stop typing for. God....I’m so sad for her and her family.

13. False God

I can barely take this song in because of what just came before.

But i really like it. And i really like the theme of religion on this album

14. You Need to Calm Down

NOW YNTCD IS PLAYING

??? IM LITERALLY SOO SAD FROM SOON YOULL GET BETTER STILL

I CANT

PROCESS

THIS

This album is literally all over the place, i keep trying to assign a narrative to it and its not working out so I’m just gonna give up

Sometimes albums are just collections of songs and not a coherent, linear story and that is ok! Even if its not what i prefer

It certainly didn’t bother me on her first few albums.

The one thing i take away from this is like...no wonder she’s so determined to be so overly positive, i think for her its that or break down crying in the face of what’s happening in her family

15. Afterglow

I really love this song!!! Hashtag relatable

......

Man..you can really tell even just from my typing that my heart isn’t in this anymore after that song

Like

Fuck

I think I’m just sad for me too, because i know that i will go through that too sooner rather than later and I already have friends dealing with losing a parent.

16. ME!

My only thought on this is god bless brendon Urie for injecting so much additional joy and energy into this song and making Taylor happy, i just get the vibe that she really needed that

ALSO WHAT THERES REALLY NO HEY KIDS SPELLING IS FUN

TAYLOR EXPLAAIAIIIIIIIAIAIIAN

We’ll see if its on my physical cd copies when they arrive...if not then maybe it was always planned to be a line only in the single version

17. It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Ok I don’t really like this song that much but i really like the messages she’s trying to send like...real love feels like hanging out with a childhood bestie, so comfortable

18. Daylight

I WAS LIKE MEH

BUT THE FUCKING BRIDGE

THE BRIDGE

IM EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED

Also something about the chorus reminds me of the chorus of starlight

STEP INTO THE DAYLIGHT AND LET IT GO

YES

I WAS LIKE NO IS THAT NOT A LYRIC??

BUT IT ISTHANK GOD

THE END

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE

THAT WAS LIKE

MY MANTRA FOR A COUPLE YEARS A WHILE BACK

BECAUSE

I LOVED SO MANY PEOPLE BUT THEY DIDNT LOVE ME

AND I WANTED TO BE DEFINITED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVED THEM NOT THAT HTEY DIDNT LOVE ME

IIIIIIIIIIII

I

IN CONCLUSION:

My feelings are everywhere. Some songs disappointed me but some blew me away - soon you’ll get better is basically the new Never Grow Up for me which is saying a lot. Everything is catchy a hell though even the songs I didn’t like as much. Ultimately i would have liked more songs about varying subject matter esp. self love but as it is, it is still somehow so all over the place. It really just shows how many emotions and phases can be contained within one relationship (i mean I’m assuming every song about a relationship is about joe). I really think that the song about her mom maybe should have been placed somewhere else...I don’t know where I would have put it but that shit is HEAVY. I am so honored that she and her family would share that with us though. I have a million question about how Andrea is doing and if my theory on why tour hasn’t been announced is correct...maybe she will explain more in the interviews/secret session audio we’re getting in the next couple days. I think my favorite song is Lover but that may change. I don’t think any song on here tops my current all time favorite Taylor song though which is CIWYW. That’s a little disappointing but not every song or album has to be my fave! And this album will probably grow on me esp as i hear Taylor’s explanations of it. Rep did. I really did nooott feel good about most of rep at first, it took a few days.

[tassium]

#TAYLOR SWIFT APPRECIATION LIFE

PART 3 - Speak Now

(part 1, part 2)

Hello and again, welcome to the Taylor Swift Appreciation Life. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault-- wait, wrong fandom.

This is probably getting posted in the middle of the night, which doesn’t bode well for anyone actually seeing it, but oh well. It’s time to hop in and see a little more from the amazing @taylorswift by taking the ride through her third album, Speak Now.

1. Mine

I really like this track, but I don’t have a whole lot to say about it. The storytelling in the lyrics is probably my favorite thing about it, and the way the instrumentation propels the song along. And.... I’ve heard varying opinions on the way it turns around and she’s “quoting” the love interest of the story. Personally, I like it. I like thinking of it as if he said that and it’s what inspired her to use the line as such a key part of the song.

And I’ve gotta be honest here, the POP mix bonus track version doesn’t really hit me that hard. I can’t pick out enough of a difference between the two that I really care all that much about that version.

2. Sparks Fly

This is one of my favorite tracks on this album. I like the understated instrumentation behind the verses and the way it just drops into the chorus in a way that feels like going over the first rise on a roller coaster - the way there’s nothing behind her voice for “Drop everything now” feels like that moment where you know it’s coming and you kind of pull in a breath and then you’re irrevocably In The Moment. 

She does a lot of really cool vocal things - in the second verse I love the way she does that warble on “really wish you wo-ould”. Another favorite is the vocalization in the background of the last chorus. Instrumentally speaking, the solo before the bridge is one of my favorites because of how it’s just a little different from the main motif of the song, and I adore the strident guitar and drums behind the bridge itself.

This song also has the first of several mentions throughout her songs of green eyes! Same, Taylor, same.

3. Back to December

I’m just gonna jump ahead and talk about the acoustic version of this song that’s on the target deluxe version, because if given the choice, I’d pick that one to listen to any day. The strings are my favorite part of the original version, and so the fact that the acoustic version lets them shine just that much more is excellent in my opinion. I also like the way that the harmonies stand out a little bit more - usually I prefer the ones where it’s Taylor overdubbing her own harmonies, but in this one I really like how it sounds with that male voice in the background - it actually makes me think that this song has a lot of potential for being made into a duet song with that delicious aching kind of mutual regret feeling.

4. Speak Now

I don’t know about anyone else, but I really like this song. There’s a lot of really smart choices made, both vocally and in the instrumentals (like the way the drums don’t drop in until the second half of the first verse) and overall I think it’s a solid track.

Over the course of relistening to this early work of Taylor’s for these reviews, though, I’ve also had a thought - Speak Now is the culmination of an escalating pattern of Standing Up And Stealing Other Girls’ Guys that’s been going on through both of the other albums. You have Teardrops on my Guitar, where she just pines herself into oblivion over the boy - then you have You Belong With Me, where she actually does something about it, and now we have this, where she literally breaks up an engagement IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEDDING in order to get her chance at the boy she’s been daydreaming about.

5. Dear John

Easily my favorite track on this album. This is an optimal example of Taylor’s ability to take a song and build it up until it just explodes, even beyond the chorus. The way the song just soars in the bridge, complete with the way her voice just goes a little ragged on "burned them out”.... man. I love it. I love it so much. Another of my favorite moments is when the harmonies slide in with “run as fast as you can” as if that’s the ‘they’ who said that to her.

I think Taylor’s voice really shines in this track in a way that was really foreshadowing of her current vocal talents.

I’ll also never be over the fact that John Mayer claimed this song for being about him. He could have just been like ‘oh yeah I dunno, a dear john letter is a breakup letter right’ but no. He brought it down on himself. “You should’ve known.”

6. Mean

Mean is a jam, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. I’ll bop to this song anytime. I love the bending fiddle between the chorus and the second verse, probably my favorite musical choice in the song overall. The mandolin and the banjo are way up there as well, just in general. There’s something so delightfully vindictive about this track, such a clap back at the haters - and I get Taylor singing her own harmonies, which you already know I love to pieces. (Is it just me, or could Mean be the little sister of Calm Down?)

“Someday, I’ll be, singing this at the grammy’s…. and all you’re gonna be is mean”

7. The Story of Us

THE STORY OF US IS A BANGER, END OF DISCUSSION

…..

ok not really, because I have more feelings to express first.

Taylor’s vocals soar at the end of this track, and I honestly cannot get over the sheer improvement from Fearless to Speak Now when it comes to that. Those belted notes give me life. I love the ‘next chapter’ and ‘the end’ spoken lines, they’re the best for when I’m singing along and dancing around my kitchen. This song is nearer and dearer to my heart than I even realized coming into this review, and I will go to bat for it anytime anyplace any day.

8. Never Grow Up

It sure is a song, alright. It’s a pretty arrangement, and I like the harmonies, but I... don’t have much for strong feelings about this one.

9. Enchanted

Mmmmm, this one’s so pretty. The opening, I love whatever that is in the background, maybe it’s a keyboard? It’s beautiful and ethereal, at any rate, and I love it. The track builds so beautifully to an absolute monster of a chorus - the lead guitar up into that drum hit is a classic and I love it to pieces.

And don’t even get me started on the ending “please don’t be....” etc bit and the use of stereo - listening to this track in headphones is a treat and I love the high in one side and low in the other, accompanied by that soft vocalizing centralized that leads into the belting before we hit another chorus.

It wasn’t until I was listening to this song to write this post up that I noticed that if you really focus you can hear her singing that repetition behind the second half of the last chorus, but I think it’s only on the left. It’s a really nice touch.

10. Better Than Revenge

I’m just gonna go ahead and quote you a conversation my friend @defiantlywhole had about this track to explain my feelings:

Me:  listen. listen. i fully agree with "Better than revenge? we don't know her" but. it's such a banger. i hate it. i love it. why 

Her:  SAME! Dude esp with the whole sb-squared issue. If we could just. Recognize that better than revenge is problematic and love her anyway?? Can you imagine the kind of cool shit the fandom coulda churned out last month? I just want graphics that yell THERE IS NOTHING I DO BETTER THAN REVENGE at them for trying to force Taylor to stay and then punishing her for leaving

So if you wanna know my opinions, there you go. there they are. 

Also i’m never going to be able to unhear “she’s full of springs and she’s not what you think, she’s a mattress” from @stateofswiftpod​ (have you gotten the message to listen to their podcast yet? this is the last of her main albums they’ve talked about so. now’s the time.)

11. Innocent

This isn’t a track I seek out to listen to, like, ever... but it’s a pretty piece of music, and her voice is lovely. Honestly, there’s something about it that just makes me sad, which is probably why I don’t seek it out. Listening to it to write this, thought, I am noticing a lot of things about it that I’d forgotten or maybe not even noticed in the first place - like the haunting background vocalizations that I’d missed previously, and the choices in the instrumentals. There something about this song that just feels heavy, if that makes sense. It just sits right on my chest, and I’m not sure if I like it.

12. Haunted

Speaking of liking acoustic versions of songs better, this is definitely one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I love the original version, but...The piano just hits so much harder for some reason than anything about the original manages, and her vocal delivery is so aching and beautiful and just. Shivers, every time.

The backing vocals come across as very dark, almost, fittingly so to go with a song with the topic and title this one has. Her soaring vocalization in the bridge, and the way her voice breaks when she drops into the low note... man, I can’t even. I don’t have words for what this acoustic track does to me. The note after the last chorus is what gets me the most thought, the almost mourning wavering she sneaks into it and just... I love this song, okay.

13. Last Kiss

This track is so beautiful, but speaking of songs that make me sad. Good heavens. I hadn’t listened to this one in a while prior to this listen through the album and it hit me so hard. Legitimate tears.

I can’t even put it into words - this song is a masterpiece of emotion.

14. Long Live

This song also makes me cry, but for entirely different reasons. Somehow it has even more of an impact now, after seeing everything that’s happened for her and after having been privileged enough to see her live with one of my best friends. This song takes that weight still hanging on my chest from the last few tracks and pushes it aside, replaces it with a bursting pride for this woman who I’ve never met and probably never will. She’s done so well.

To be more specific - there’s some incredible guitar work on this song, and I adore the “THIS IS ABSURD” part - and “tell them how I hope they shine” will always make me cry. I love that she wrote this song, and I love that things have only kept going. That belted “fall” at the end of that post-chorus or whatever it is that then also fades and falls away. The ethereal Aaahs in the background of the bridge. The way she leans into the last “all the mountains we moved”. Gosh. It’s all too much.

Proper full bonus track time!

15. Ours

This is definitely my favorite of the bonus tracks. I’m a little sad it got relegated to a bonus track, since there’s definitely songs that I’d cut in favor of letting this one onto the list, but I’m just glad we have it in the first place.

I’m extremely fond of this song - it’s connected to playing music with my dad (who bought me my first guitar - well, him and my mom both) because we’ve teamed up to do this song, and so that gives me all kinds of happy feelings when I listen to this one.

I don’t have much for specific comments on this one, but it’s a Good.

16. If This Was a Movie

I love the guitar opening for this song, it’s on my list of songs to learn to play one of these days. The first few times I heard the song, I definitely didn’t hear “to me-e like” properly, but now that I know what it’s supposed to be, I don’t struggle too much, thankfully. Overall, I like the song - there are things about it that I’m not super fond of, but there are more things that I do like (the drop after the bridge is definitely one of them).

17. Superman

This one’s a bop. She’s a cute little number. Optimal dancing around my room (a la the you belong with me video) material. I won’t say this track is any work of genius or anything, but it’s a solid danceable pop song, and sometimes that’s all you need.

Whew! We’ve done it again. It’s 3am where I am at the time of writing this, so I’m going to go to bed now, but tomorrow we’ll start our transition into New Taylor. I don’t know about you, but I’m excited.

Next up: Red

[shark-myths]

lake effect kid EP

(or: “chicago” is a funny way to pronounce “patrick”: the album)

first of all, i would like to thank fall out boy for the best gift ever: three love songs to my hometown released on my birthday. three love songs with peterick overtones. I listened to this album four times through on my run this morning and loosed a single giant, ugly sob out in public to the morning air. (there was also a LOT of fist pumping and slamming my foot into the pavement on the downbeats, but let’s not make a full catalogue of everything embarrassing about me this morning, thanks)

let’s dive in, cuz i’ve got FEELINGS

(and what is the lake effect but excess, but overstated, amped-up reactions to changes in the seasons, the weather, the heart??? HOO BOY LET’S GO)

1. lake effect kid

the year: 2008. the song: a hopeful starry-eyed rising-fame chicago kid anthem, starting with a verse about how touring and the band’s success is literally heaven, and the nostalgic annoyance of van days, joe’s old van that only ran with the heat blasting. the prechorus places us squarely in 08 with pete’s LA isolation and growing pharmaceutical dependence ((boxed blondes have less fun breaks my heart for every reason. pete writes SO MANY lyrics about blonde & fake vs. golden & true, and someday i will write a post about it))

the chorus—boomerang my head into the city i grew up in / again and again, forever a lake effect kid—speaks to how, no matter how far they travel and where fame takes them, chicago is always home. the skyline runs in their veins like blood. summer love on a gurney with a squeaky wheel is hospital-room desperation, a sweaty boys-in-vans affair that, from this angle, seems doomed from the start… because remember 2008 is when the petericks and the band are falling apart.

(that they re-recorded it now, in the modern era? tells us that what he felt, he still feels. that these sentiments are always and have always been true.)

and this is my thesis, honestly, of the ep. these are love songs about chicago, yes. about themselves and the band and their history. but they are also love songs about the person who is chicago to pete. they are love songs to patrick.

love songs to the person pete will come back to, again and again and again and again and again.

2. city in a garden

this fucking track. We’ve got a peculiar Infinity/SRAR blend, sonically, where it opens with sounds of IOH and rises to an anthemic SRAR feel by mid-song. it’s the happiest, most optimistic song on an EP that is all about home, belonging, and true love, and in it pete writes I LOVE YOU CHICAGO because that’s easier and safer and more allowed than saying the thing he also means, I LOVE YOU PATRICK STUMP. this is a dual-layer song, with a hometown reading and a truelove reading, and i think both are valid and intended.

right away, it opens with the plea of a boy who moved to LA and can’t stop looking back: take me home, take me home. You make me feel so summer fling adds to a long and lustrous history of describing patrick and their tryst in terms of summer, especially in the context of summer tour: summer is a season outside of time, where there are no consequences and anything is possible. summer isn’t real life. summer is you but better than real, blood more vibrant, ribcage more cavernous, heartbeat more vital and raw. You know that i know that i owe you everything feels like love to the chicago music scene as well as something that pete and patrick might both say, and mean, to each other. without patrick’s voice, FOB as we know it wouldn’t exist. that nightmare-magic truest kind of love wouldn’t exist.

the rush of having no tomorrow, love that was doomed from the start, outrunning your doom… and patrick being the one thing pete’s found that’s worth holding onto…

this bit is so incredibly pete, and the heavy punch on stuck reminds me powerfully of novocaine, a song originally demoed for SRAR: you charged me up, charged, charged me up. I was something they forgot to label “fragile”, now I’m stuck. And you know too much. You’re the one true thing, you’re the one.

that is not a verse about a place. that is a verse about a person. In novocaine, stuck/numb means hopeless in love and unable to get out, even if you want to. this verse is about falling in love so hard you break yourself and can never reassemble. can never be the same. it’s about patrick being the type of love that you don’t believe exists until you have it--the ‘there are no atheists in foxholes’ kind of love.

we get the homesickness, these two boys who bleed chicago but now live in LA, these boys who spend so much time on the road that they don’t even recognize home when they’re there, in the next verse: and i’m just living out a suitcase. watch me now, watch me as i drive away. I’m supposed to leave you at the end of the season but i’ll stay. two layers to this: the feeling of leaving your hometown at the end of the holidays or summer vacation, and the feeling of leaving patrick at the end of a tour cycle. and saying to both the person and the place: i’ll stay. in my heart, in my soul, i will stay. you’re the one true thing, you’re the one.

3. super fade

this motherfucking solo patrick / MANIA blend with the sunshine riptide-esque lyrics and the hiatus feels, this fucking soul punk/batman theme outtake, this fucking song about loving someone so much it makes you sick and you’re furious, this song about who gets your bones vs your soul, who you sleep beside vs who is your ultra and forever love—

THIS FUCKING SONG

I love every fucking line of this song.

it doesn’t sound like classic FOB the way the first two tracks do. this is something else, the way Y&M was something else. this is classic FOB feelings and sentiments turned on their heads and made into nightmares. this is about the dark side back end of love, the wrong side of reality. this is about fucking up and scraping raw and emptying out and loving, loving, loving so stupid it’ll kill you. it sounds like the hiatus. it sounds like always making the same mistakes.

it sounds like always making them with the same person.

it’ll never happen again til tonight, i’m so sorry. My love isn’t lost, it’s all i got. pours out of me, the shape of you. sorry.

IF THIS ISN’T ABOUT TRYSTING AND ADDICTION AND DEPENDENCE AND THE WHOLE PETERICK CYCLE, then nothing is. this feels like a song about a time when they’re supposed to be broken up but their bodies keep coming together anyway, even when they hate themselves, especially when they hate themselves. my love isn’t lost, it’s all i got.

((can we talk about the romantic / filthy line there’s a hole inside me the shape of you?? because UM))

i feel too much unless i’m riding the super fade is so pete, so MANIA, so bipolar, so folie, so getting fucked up to get out, so in love with your best friend even when you’re trying not to be, so self-medicating to the point of obliteration just to cope with your life.

I should’ve known better. I should’ve tried to sing about anything but you. I should’ve tried to go to sleep thinking about anything but you. Anything else in the world but you. you know the world can get my bones, but chicago gets my soul.

h o l y f u c k i n g s h i t

okay so. I’m sorry every song’s about you, but. this is about loving patrick, right? It’s about chicago-as-a-metaphor-for-patrick getting his soul. it’s about the futility of trying to get over the only thing that’s ever really completed him. It’s about tearing my fucking heart out.

the second verse is very much hiatus to me, about trying to fill that hole left by a love-that-isn’t-lost but is out of reach, with anything, anything. I’m surfing on the dopamine high, i’m someone you gotta institutionalize is peak pete, esp hiatus pete. And the echo chorus of sorry, i’m so sorry? jeezus fucking christ, just kill me, just absolutely kill me.

patrick gets my soul. the world can have my body and bones, but you get my soul.

IN CONCLUSION, this is a gay and glorious EP on a gay and glorious day, happy birthday to me, thank you for coming to my tryst theory TED talk. more meta soon, and hit up my ask box in the meantime!

[lunebinnie]

(1/11)Oh my gosh yesss I'm glad that you like long messages too because I talk way too much 😂 (And yeah about my friend and just hanging out w/ her more that's exactly what I was thinking 😂) It's actually kind of funny bc just yesterday I was hanging out at her house and her younger brother needed to go to Walmart and I was like 'I've been meaning to go to Walmart, I'll take you' and ofc since I have a bluetooth radio adapter the whole drive I had my Spotify going with some quality k-bops, lol

2)And as we were driving I noticed him kind of jamming and I was like 'Oh my god Mickey do you actually like this???' And he was Like 'yeah, these are some good bops 👍' I was shooketh. I had to go home before I had the chance to show him any music videos but he says he's open to watching some with me next time I see him. One way or another I'm going to turn someone in my social circle into a kpop fan you mark my words ☝ and then maybe we can team up and try to work on his sister some more 😂

3)I only started first getting into kpop last June so I'm still very new, but it's definitely super frustrating how so many ppl act like it's an inherently bad or cringey genre of music just bc it's kpop! The stigma is ridiculous! I also started out with BTS (lol) and since they're pretty popular in the US at least I was able to be like 'See, this isn't just a niche thing, lots of people know abt and like this group' but of course my dad still says 'Just cause it's popular doesn't make it good'

4)And I'm like? You're a band teacher, you of all people should understand that music doesn't have to be in your native language (or even have lyrics) in order for you to enjoy it, but go off I guess... It's the same with one of my college friends. They make fun of me for liking kpop but this is coming from some who still treats March 22nd (the day My Chemical Romance broke up) as a day of mourning. Like, no tea no shade no pink lemonade, MCR was a good band nothing wrong with liking them.

5)But like if you're 22 and you still haven't grown out of your emo phase do you really have room to pick on other people for their music taste?  🤷 Anyway that's the person who follows my main that I didn't want to know I had a kpop sb. I think I made it around July. Tbh it was pretty dead for most of 2018. But like I said I've started using it way more since I recently revealed that it exists, lol. Especially since that good good Astro cb 👏💗😩 But honestly Astro is such a blessing

6)Idk how I lived so long w/o them. When I first got into kpop I was planning on just sticking to BTS since the reaction to me being into kpop was so volatile. I was like 'I'm only into one group, ppl already are negative about me liking kpop so I'm just gonna stick to this and not become a full on multifandom fan' and then in Nov I accidentally let myself fall in love with Monsta X and that plan was foiled. And realizing I wasn't gonna be able to stick to just one anymore opened the floodgates

7)And I was like okay in that case, let's just start getting into *all groups* Lol. My story of getting into Astro was actually bc of my best friend's roommate (can you tell I have like one friend and my whole social circle kinda revolves around her? Lol) so this roommate when she heard me being sad about having no kpop friends was like 'oh hey, I'm kinda into kpop' and it turns out she didn't like very many groups and was one of the ppl who blah blah BTS is overrated, which ya know isn't ideal8)But I was just really desperate to have someone to talk about kpop with. And Astro was her favorite so I was like, okay I'll get into them so that I have something to talk about with her! So I started watching some videos and I fell in love with them pretty much instantly! And I was real excited bc #1 now I can talk about kpop with someone! And #2 this group is actually amazing? Bonus! ... And then they got in a big fight about their living conditions and the roommate ended up moving out RIP

9)So that didn't work out, lol (Your story about finding them during that internship sounds amazing though! Haha) But yeah, so this is my first cb too! And although I love them w/ my whole heart and would have loved to have them in my life even sooner what an amazing cb to be your first! The concept was wonderful, the album was excellent, the visuals were to *die* for. They worked so hard and I'm so proud of them and I'm so happy we got to see their work come to fruition and get them a win 🤧🤧

10)The dance practices though? You're so right omg 💗 Me and my Rocky bias *fully* understand 😂 All of them are such good dancers?? I never fail to be impressed. Of course you know who I always end up watching tho 👀 lol (̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶c̶k̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶t̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶.̶.̶)̶ ̶ I also love how at the end they always pause all dramatic for a minute and then start screaming 😂

11)It's like? Amazing talent *and* dorky personalities? What more could you ask for? Lol. In regard to your last question though Unfortunately I also won't be able to see them 😔 I live in the smack middle of the US and since they're only going to coasts all of the venues are way too far away to get to. Esp since it's the school year and I can't skip class to drive cross country for a concert much as I'd like to (Holy lord I talked over twice as much?? Why am I like this?) Talk again soon! -ASA

Okay SO I’m very sorry I haven’t had the time to answer everything until now bc I’ve been busy studying for midterms and also I was a lil trashy today since my uni closed bc of freezing rain so I slept in but I’m glad that FINALLY everything got sent like damn tumblr you really don’t want us making friends huh. 

Yessssss I love the feeling of seeing someone else also get into the same interests! I’ve been pretty lucky in the sense that I grew up around mostly other asian americans, so kpop was never something that was considered super “weird,” like some people were into it and some weren’t but even if you weren’t you still would’ve been familiar with the more popular groups from when you were younger. Even now, I have a bunch of friends also into kpop (one of them is even my roommate) so tbh I was definitely the one in my friend group late to the party aha. Even my university hosts kpop nights at our bar and I’m pretty sure we have a kpop dance team as well? So tbh if I met someone new there’s probably like a 50% chance they’re into kpop or at least listen casually. 

Tbh I used to be a little bit judgy too but moreso because of the obscene amount of money I’ve seen some of my friends spend (no joke one of my friends has spent probably like $500+ on Loona stuff in the past month and a half and another friend bought like 5 copies of the same album for herself like damn idk how do you have that much money).

I also really don’t like it when people bash other people’s music tastes, since I feel like it’s something so personal? Idk but for a long time I used to be really self conscious about sharing my music with other people and even now I feel like that sometimes. For me after getting into BTS I kind of expected to get really into other groups since I was in Korea anyway and I was already listening to a lot of other artists casually. For me it started with NU’EST (fell for them immediately at the same concert that I saw Astro at) and then after was Astro, and then I just started slowly getting into other groups after that (even though I haven’t totally been able to get into Got7′s music they’re SO funny and I just kinda fell for their personalities  you know). 

I honestly think that they did such a wonderful job with this comeback too! I like seeing their concept evolve and mature but they’re not straying too far from their original cute concept so I feel like it’s a nice middle ground that’s very unique to them, you feel? Also I feel like the visuals especially and the execution of the whole plant concept was just done so well?? Even my friend who’s not in kpop was like “k idk who they are but that was the prettiest music video I’ve ever seen”. What are your favourite eras and songs? For me I’d have to say either the Spring Up or Baby era BUT right now my favourite song is probably Again/Should’ve Held On though tbh my mood and my tastes change like every few weeks loool. 

I have no idea why I tend to be most attracted to the dances rather than vocals or rap (maybe has to do with the fact that it’s something I’ve always wished I could do but have always been bad at lmao). But Astro’s stood out to me for the exact same reason! I just thought it was so funny seeing them all break character at the end because you really get to see how hard their choreos are and you get a glimpse of their personalities like damn, how can you not stan these dummies?

That’s really unfortunate that you won’t get to see them either :/ They’re also coming to the closest city to me but it’s on a Tuesday, but I *hypothetically* looked up flight prices and tried to see if I could get away with just missing a day of classes if I flew back in the middle of the night since I have some friends who did the same thing and drove down to Buffalo but I seem to have underestimated the size of New York State LMAO. But apparently my university’s too far from the airport so it’s “not realistic” (and also I’m hella broke from travelling to Taiwan and Japan while I was in Korea but that’s a minor issue ig). I hope we do both get a chance to see them live though! Who knows, after the success of this comeback I’m expecting a lot more cbs and world tours out of them ;)

[softnorwegians]

hi there! i've loved your blog and skam insights for so long, and was really intrigued about what you wrote in your tags about how the use of cherry wine re even's pov was masterful. if you were interested, i'd love to here more about your thoughts in relation to even and cherry wine. no pressure though! sending lots of love, esp after your recent car accident - i've been in one before and they really are so scary and traumatic. i hope you're okay xxx

Aww, thank you, that’s so sweet~ I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through it too but yeah, it shakes you up even when everyone is okay. I think it’s one of those moments that just makes you remember how much is out of your control. I’m honored to have been a go-to blog for so long, it’s hard to believe someone could still be interested in more over a year later! hahaha, I keep thinking I’ve meta-ed all I possibly can… yet somehow, there’s still a little more to scratch? I don’t think I have too much to say except the obvious but I’ll say that for you! 💕 

Okay, so, at that point, we’d already established a lot: song lyrics as a mode of communication from Even, his love of Nas, and more than that, the music in Skam s3 had already been very meta, it’s almost a larger-than-life part of the show. The use of Cherry Wine stands out for me because it came at this heightened moment; there probably wasn’t a time in the season when viewers more wanted an update than after that Friday when everything fell apart. So, we wound up in this interesting place, where we were more ready and anxious to hear from Even than Isak was. The lyrics of Cherry Wine are moving in and of themselves but I think they were even more so because… we immediately get it. That Even doesn’t feel like he can reach out more than indirectly and his meaning with this one is really transparent. It starts here:

The noise in my head, the curse of the talented

Which pings right away as him acknowledging his bipolar, an emotional moment in itself because it’s really the first time we get to see him do that. It’s the first time that Isak and Even and the audience are all on the same page here. In the same text we get:

Strong communicator,vagabondI gallivant around the equator, And that would get me off the radar

Less direct but there’s this sense of owned unreliability (vagabond, gallivant) and also not wanting to be seen (get me off the radar, though I like the other copy of the lyrics that he didn’t use better “if that would get me off the radar”) that really clicks with Even as we’ve seen him; seemingly confident, unpredictable, and in this place of not wanting to tell Isak (before it came out on its own). 

Then there’s a break and next:

It’s so intense, I’m on my Lilo and StitchPour my Pino Grigio with some lime what is this?

Again, it’s an easy read to see him relating this to being bipolar with “It’s so intense, I’m on my Lilo and Stitch”. There’s even a sense of being in a usual state (with on marking it as not always something happening but my marking it something reoccurring and personal) of being pulled in two directions (Lilo and Stitch) there. 

An immaculate version of me and my babyWith all respect ‘cause you the only one that gets me

This keys in perfectly with us just having established ‘baby’ as their petname of choice in the scene the night before. And “an immaculate version” fits really well with that night too, with the white sheets and “uendelig” and the purity of that moment, as well as all the different ‘versions’ of Isak-and-Even being their thing. (This is especially notable as a lyrical pick Even would have had to make himself, because that’s the clean version of the lyrics and not the original ones.) And obviously “With all respect ‘cause you the only one that gets me”… my heart. 😭😭😭 That line really hurts because Even is putting it all out there, how much being with Isak has meant to him, how real it’s been for him and how he’s felt like Isak really gets him… but it’s only coming after Isak is thinking he doesn’t really know him at all. Which Even would be well aware was likely to be happening right now.

Where is he? The man who was just like meI heard he was hiding somewhere I can’t seeWhere is he? The man who was just like meHeard he was hiding somewhere I can’t see

And then obviously this hurtssss too because you know it’s a question Even probably asked in more than one way, he probably did ask where Isak was when he was coming down from the episode and now he’s more figurative asking it. And once again reinforcing the connection and similarity between them, right as he’s aware it might be breaking… ouch.

And I’m alone and I realize that when I get homeI wanna go through my red and my cherryYes, I’m alone and I realize when I get homeI wanna go through my red and my cherry

“And I’m alone and I realize that when I get home” just… it makes me think Julie Andem had this song in mind all along when structuring the end of ep 8. This is why it feels so masterful, it’s speaking for Even without requiring him to actually speak. We couldn’t really get anymore from Even at this point because Isak is our pov character and he isn’t ready to talk to him again but Cherry Wine brings us through exactly what Even must have gone through post 15:15-1:01 himself. On one hand, there’s an underlying unease you get from the resignation of “And I’m alone” moving to “Yes, I’m alone”. It fits into how he feels alone in his brain and also how he was talking the night before about losing what they had, anticipating it before it happened. The melancholy and yearning feeling of this section, the reaching out with “I wanna go through my red and my cherry” is perfect to bring you from Even last night to Even now. It’s especially poignant, how much the lyrics are about searching and calling out. As he’s showing by sending these lyrics in the first place, Even might have been telling himself that losing Isak was inevitable but he doesn’t want to. He’s still reaching out with this, it’s just in a very heartbreaking way.

Yeah, yeah, let’s pour some cherry wineEverything’s good, everything’s fineYeah, yeah, we bring it every timeYeah, pour a little cherry wine

Yeah, hey yo, salaam, yeah, I think they know the timeEverything’s good, everything’s fineYeah, pour a little cherry wine, yeahLife is good, life is good, yeah

Life is good, no matter whatLife is good, life is goodLife if [sic] good, yeah, no matter whatLife is good

And then the lyrics end with this repetition of both “Everything’s good, everything’s fine” and “Life is good” that here reads like an attempt at self-reassurance, an attempt to keep things together when things clearly aren’t fine and Even isn’t able to see that “life is good” at all. The staccato repetition of the end is something that becomes a good split between Even and Isak’s perspectives too: for Even, it feels like he needs to keep repeating this to himself, keep trying to tell himself this and for Isak, it emphasizes how all of this is speeding past as he reads, not really getting through and seeming an incomprehensible stream of words.

That’s the other real point of genius with this, it’s well established to us that Isak isn’t getting all this from the lyrics. The clip opens with this tense, ominous guitar riff and Isak reading about bipolar disorder and the sound of all these texts coming in close together that he’s ignoring. So of course we get it, that he doesn’t get it. That it seems like maybe another inexplicable thing Even is doing because he’s manic, that it reminds Isak too much of the incoherent strings of biblical texts that he gets from his mother and ignores. It also opens with this already in progress (the first thing we hear is a text arriving) and since the lyrics we get are the end of the song, it’s very likely Even has been sending him the whole thing. Which makes it easier for us to do a targeted reading on what Even means by this but harder for Isak. 

And then there’s this really nice other layer that comes with Skam being very grounded in the real world, that you can go read about the song and any meta about it does exist for them too. So this time, it was such a punch in the gut to have someone point out after this clip:

Annnnnnd know that Even would most likely know that as a fan of Nas. You can even go back and pick through the rest of the lyrics we didn’t see him send and do a deep read on them too, like “I want some who like the champagne I like / My a-alike, someone to talk me off the bridge any day or night” and know Even is over there connected to this too. So now we get to go into this week hearing about what Even is feeling from Even himself… and yet we kind of got this message under Isak’s nose. He was there, he read it too but only we fully got the message. This was just such a smart way to make use of his limited perspective.

Cherry Wine is more vital than it might seem because it’s really our one window into Even’s thoughts before we get his text in at the end of ep 9. I think it serves to get us there, to see just how deeply this could have effected him, when we have an idea of how much Even much is trying to say and the response being “Hi Even. I don’t understand shit right now. Stop texting me.” It allows us to be more in Even’s head with the depth of the loss he feels, which is important when he’s about to go to such a low place after this.

[mintchocfringe]

10 Biases

Hi hello there I've been tagged by my good pal @pepperminthiya to talk about 10 biases, so enjoy me ranting about my faves because I never do that..... anyway onto the love 😎 I’ve been putting off finishing this bc I lowkey expose myself but sure here we are......

1) Taehyung - BTS

One of my ultimate baes, I really do adore him a lot. He’s so positive, friendly, and bubbly, big lov. I need a minute to talk about his vocal range, because fam it’s very impressive (i’m a music person, i’m in the know) and he has this beautiful, rich voice and I just *clutches heart* love it. I need to talk about stage presence because onstage tae and off stage are different people I swear (esp during Blood Sweat and Tears, that stage where he had the fake scars on his back omllllllllll) and he’s so charismatic!! Big love. Also, he’s adorable! Oh my god so soft and fluffy which makes my heart go w h o o s h, but will also!!! come for my life !!! (y’all saw the dispatch photos I was unable to cope).

2) Hoseok - BTS 

Okay listen. I have been bias wrecked by j-hope for so long that i’m just lying to myself if I don’t bias him at this point. I've been biased the whole time and just never said so.....I really do love him with all my heart, he’s so full of life and energetic, is always picking people up when they’re down and just a genuine good person. Hope World really shook me to my core, the lyrics and everything about it really reached out to me but I loved him so much even beforehand. He’s so talented in so many ways and is super charismatic as well, big big love. Also there’s something about the tonality of his voice as well??? I don’t know how to properly describe it but the whole kinda baritone/raspy thing he has going on ??? oof

3) Irene - Red Velvet

Right okay so I just a minute because i’m so incredibly snatched by Irene, I mean her surname is Bae!!! Meant to be. I love her because aside from being incredibly stunning (how is one person allowed to be that gorgeous omg) she’s so dorky and cute too? Like in her own kind of quieter way but she can be vvv serious, Mama Irene the Ironing Cooking Queen but also silly and funny too. Of late she has been so down for raising up women which I am all about! I only stan intellectuals after all!

4) JiU - Dreamcatcher

 This girl, let me tell you. She may the “fake maknae” type, but she is a powerful woman. Can rock literally every hair colour without trying, can be good at any concept without even trying and she just amazes me. She’s so dorky and weird omg???? Like talks about such weird things and behaves like a toddler on a sugar high but is also a slaying queen??? I am unable to cope, I love her so much. Her vocals are kind of honey-like and really sweet which just makes me ;_; Also she loves the colour pink more than life itself and it’s so cute asjakls

5) Jun - Seventeen

OOoooooooooookay. Where to begin with the vampire meme prince of China??? (I won’t stop talking about his vampire web drama you can’t make me mom). I’m so affected by his presence it’s embarrassing. He’s too powerful and actually damages my general stability in life. So powerful that I abandoned Hoshi for him...(I was always biased though, I was out there watching his web drama calling myself a hoshi stan dasjdalkjds). He embodies “duality of man” so much I get whiplash from him smh... Can be so present on stage and such a character but is a soft baby too??? He makes his little puns (lest we forget ajun nice) and cares for the other members so much and is really really soft. Can be the cutest patoot in the whole world but also the most dangerous man ??? in the space of 00000.2 seconds ?? idk man i’m never okay when he’s out there being himself...

6) Youngjae - GOT7

*inhales* hoooooooooo well. I have lots and lots and lots of love for JYP’s resident otter. He just embodies a ray of sunshine and is so bright and bubbly and his laugh adds 2 years to my life!! Although I really love his more expressive side too when he releases his emo songs at 3am and remember it got leaked that he has tattoos????? oh my god. I could go on forever about my love for him because in all honesty he’s very close (if not basically) my ideal type. I’ve talked with some of my close friends about this and we’re vvv similar so idk that makes me all gooey and cringey to think about it ((cringe culture can fight me)) but yeah. I think that says everything I need to say tbh...

7) Dahyun - Twice

There is just something in the water at JYP because I adore Dahyun with every fibre of my being. A soft memey bean who had so much love to give but is so loved too which makes me so happy <3 I’m calling it now but she’s gonna be a hecking good mc on something one day, something funny like weekly idol (or whatever the new version will be.. rip honestly) where her true Comedic Queen self can shine! She makes some hella good jokes and never fails to make everyone laugh when she’s on a variety show etc. Her personality is so likeable and she’s just so friendly!!! ((this seems to be a theme... hmm)) 

8) Kihyun - Monsta x 

mmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMM oh my goodness gracious i’m so affected by kihyun it’s horrific. ((not as much as jun but close)). I always seem to be stanning these “duality” types whereby they’re so soft and fluffy one minute but attacc my whole life the next. Kihyun is such a dangerous man on stage, and is so stunning like his visuals are no joke but is also a soft bean??? Kihyun just kills me, like his vocals are A+++ and any high/ power note sends me to the grave. He’s also too savage for me, which isn’t my usual type but a lot of the time it’s really funny... oops.... 

9) Nayoung - Pristin/ IOI

Idk man there’s something about Nayoung that just gets to me? She was known as “stone nayoung” during pd101 for being so serious/ shy and I understand bc I’m too serious sometimes too lmao but she’s also really sweet! She will protecc pristin with her life and makes such weird jokes as well lmao. She too is super powerful, rapping her way into my heart. A queen

10) Doyoung/Jaehyun - NCT

Okay i’m cheating a little bit here BUT they are both in NCT but anyways... I love them a looooooooot, doyoung is such a bean but will fite u for not picking up your socks off the floor. He’s such a little fluff but will come for my life ((Esp 7th sense hooo that was a time) and he’s such a good mc! Vroom Vroom Talk Show paid off :D ((fight me it was fantastic))

But then there’s jeff. He’s such a meme ((which i’m too weak for save me)), but also such a bean?? The cutest fluff but needs milk but will also fuck me up ?? I can’t handle how fast his personality changes between on stage/off stage/ general existence.... He’s so adorable but really fucks with my sanity sometimes and I h9 him but will fite anyone to protect him. Idk what to tell you fam I just love jeff too much.

Hooooo that was a journey but here we are! Also, this isn’t in any particular order because I have so much love to give, and wish I could include more biases but you can just keep an eye on my posts for that :P 

Tagging: @apassionthatisdead @beingtaessoulmate @kittog @merci-beau-kook @todoroki-bean @hopeless-namjin 

Enjoy!

[minblush]

These goals the boys (bighit) are begging for are promoting such a toxic atmosphere in this fandom. Almost cult-like. But you are a breathe of fresh air bc even some big blogs i liked for being "real" are now into this sheep mentality, this is scary.

Anonymous said:+ kinda funny Pied Piper exist when they are demanding so much lol

i agree that it doesn’t help with the atmosphere in the fandom, it’s gotten so much worse correlating with how much the boys asked of us and how much more the company focused on promoting them based on the records and numbers :( and i also think it’s pretty ironic coming up with that song now with how much they and the company had been asking and doing to get money out of us… i’m also bitter with bighit’s treatment of foreign fans because of what happened today, but anyways.. wish they gave us better things to focus on, at some point we are going to reach the limit and their goals will never be met and the fandom will always remain feeling guilty about it, so i wish the boys had more vague or personal goals instead of giving us specific numbers

anonymous  asked:

personally i think most of the fandom shows so much blind faith to the boys, to the point that it’s very unhealthy. of course, there’s nothing wrong with people wanting to show support for their faves, but some people show unwavering dedication to whatever they want. it’s kind of annoying and they think it makes them look like better fans when in reality they just show they’re in capable of anything realistic

i think it’s like that with most fandoms that are built around real people, because it’s so time consuming and there are a lot of things you have to deal with, but it reached pretty critical levels in our fandom, any time anyone says something negative it’s just HYSTERICS about how fake of a fan you are, or that you’re too dramatic for even thinking outside of anything the company/group wants you to… but yeah i agree with you, always gotta look at things with some level of realism

Anonymous said:ok in the beginning i didn’t really agree with you but now i do. i totally see ur point. ofc they have goals and they should have, but when what they achieve is because of us it can kinda feel like we’re stepping stones??? if u know w i mean. it’s great with ambitions but when you achieve something pls revel in it a bit more before being like “ok BUT now we want more thanks”. or have goals such as development as musicians and vocalists or smth that isn’t based on numbers… i sound bitter lol

yeah that’s how i feel too, and i think they shouldn’t make us feel that way as fans, they used to have many goals like that, about self-development, making good music, connecting more, expressing themselves better, but this time around it’s all charting and records and yeah, and what more it’s even specific numbers, and that’s just blergh.. you know the fandom will be disappointed with itself if we don’t get them to hot 50 next time

Anonymous said:I miss the time where the only things I understood about kpop were that the groups were large and that the members could sing and dance. I’ve never given a fuck about 1st places in music shows and daesangs tbh I still don’t get how all of this works properly. But i started making a big deal of it since the boys first win and at the time it was meaningful but like right now? I don’t even check if they won or not because I know they did. (1)

Anonymous said:It doesn’t feel the same because these wins and prices and stuff just don’t feel as rewarding as before idk how to explain it. I kind of have a feeling that all of this happens just because of the popularity so it’s just meeeh to me (I mean I’m always delighted and super happy whenever they got something, it just doesn’t feel the same anymore, kind of a routine, I got used to it too son I guess) anyway, about the streaming drama that is happening. (2)

Anonymous said: I’m sure that if I ever dare speak these words into life under an URL I’d be destroyed but, I didn’t change my location when streaming the album and I didn’t let my laptop run overnight to stream the MV. I mostly stream because I want to hear the songs and because I want the boys to get some money out of it. It’s great that they achieved the hot100 and it would be great if they make it into the top50, top20… Of course. (3)

Anonymous said:Call me dramatic but the achievement doesn’t feel that genuine to me, because they made it through people streaming while working, sleeping, eating, doing everything but listening to the songs iywim so it’s just because the fandom worked extra hard not because the song made it into the mainstream ears?  Idk nothing feels right lately and the boys have their mind flying over the moon and I hope they will get a break soon so they can reflect and think (4)

Anonymous said:about everything and put their wants and goals straight again. Because they give me the impression that they won’t stop because everything is going so fast and nothing feels impossible to them rn they really need a break. I have a lot to say but I feel that this ask is messy enough as it is. Thank you if you read all of this (5)

Yeah it’s true and only natural that the more awards / wins there are, the less it means to everyone, both us and the boys. I don’t think we’ll get a moment like their first daesang again tbh, i’m really grateful i experienced that moment live.

and you’re right that people are really awful with the streaming, i saw so much guilting everywhere.. like sorry, i work full time,i can’t leave the mv playing 24/7, i do what i can as a fan, everyone tries to help within their means.

it’s just that now it feels like even those sacrifices we make aren’t enough, because in the end we will always be asked and expected to do even more.

and i agree with you, honestly this album felt from scratch like it was made to get them a lot of success, but it lost a lot of what people like them for in the process (the boys’ input, their sincerety about the result), i was hoping that once they would achieve that HUGE goal that they talked about for years, that they and us would breathe out and feel like, yeah we got there, now we can do what matters. but i guess there is still more and more, they just want more sigh, i just hope that once it all starts going down (which it has to eventually) that it won’t be too harsh on them, i know they worry about it a lot

Anonymous said:1. I agree w everything youre saying rn. Before the live stages i honestly only liked mic drop and now gogo is up there too - all because of the vibe their stages give off. If not for that id continue feeling detached from it all, from them. This is my first proper comeback aswell ( other than the ynwa repackage ) and its honestly not what i expected. Esp w wings and now the theme of love yourself, i really expected more… sincerity? Idk if thats the right word. But that could be explained byAnonymous said:2. The fact that the boys didnt have as much of an imput in the album as their previous ones. Which i get w the company wanting to make the most of how big they are and wanted to make sure the album was great but. Idk, i feel like they couldve trusted the boys more since it was them that got themselves here in the first place ( not that bighit was just sitting back chilling but i hope you know what I mean ). And although I was starting to fall back into the hype of the comeback

Anonymous said:3. The recent vlive kind of put me off.. theyre all exhausted, thats so clear. Tae barley said anything and they all just need a rest tbh. And this may just be me being petty and sour, but when Namjoon started saying how they should talk about how they felt after their billboard win nobody really responded? And even Namjoon cut himself off and food became the main topic. Which is good, im glad theyre eating, but i hope you see what i mean? Man idk. Sorry for the length of these

yeah it was like that for me too, but seeing them up there reminded me of why they are the best for me ;-; i also wish for that, cause tbh the songs where boys could say something more were the the best ones on the album and made me FEEL things, while other songs, even if they were fun, they were just empty to me, like empty radio bops, sadly. i’m sorry the vlive put you off, i thought it was cute, though they were tired. i didn’t pay much attention to tae not talking, because he is often like that during broadcasts tbh, he isn’t as talkative as the others during group settings, and secondly he is a rEALLY moody kid, so since they are all tired (they did this between fansigns as well) ofc he would be sitting there with his arms crossed, that’s just how he is. however i agree that the billboard part was weird, the broadcast was to celebrate it but when namjoon tried talking about it they changed the subject after a minute when nobody was enthusiastic at all.. it just makes you feel like, you work so hard to get them these awards to make them happy, right? but if they’re not even really all that into it, then it’s all about the sales and the media play and the cred, so what are we doing it for? but that is me being bitter i guess ;-;

Anonymous said:my first comeback too and i’m a bit disappointed with the (i forgot the word) “theme” of the album compared to hyyh and wings (started when i saw the highlight reels… they’re beautiful but shallow lol). dgmw i love the songs they’re bops but something’s missing and i kinda hoped for “deeper” goals and messages. my other fave bands have goals such as individual and musical growth, learning new things, feeling better about their music and lyrics etc. i love them this won’t change that but still

the word is concept, and yeah me too. i agree with everything you say. i want to hear something more sincere next time, both music wise and their goals wise. like did y’all read the statement bighit had namjoon say after they got onto the hot 100?

“Our dreams are coming true this week with a number one entrance to 73 countries on iTunes, and we are excited to share it with ARMY. We are very thankful for Billboard’s support from the beginning, and excited that Love Yourself: Her is charting at No. 7 on the Hot 200 and No. 85 on the HOT 100 for "DNA” on the Billboard charts.”

this is the most robotic and number focused speech ever and it just makes me feel really -_- just be real with us dakjsd please

Anonymous said:honestly thank you so much for staying real and not being all up their asses.. like you can love a group and still be logical about things and staying true to yourself. it’s refreshing

ha thank you, i wish this wasn’t something i had to be thanked for though… i’m just hyper focused on making sure all my opinions are my own, otherwise i’d lose track of myself as a person