#esme shelby lee

[zablife]

No Peace For You Ever

Requested by @runnning-outof-time for my 2K celebration An Evening at Arrow House.

Author's Note: A special ty to the amazing @shelbydelrey who helped me brainstorm this one!

Warnings: dark fic 💀, mention of the supernatural, suicide

Tommy sighed contentedly as he leaned back against the headboard of the bed, business papers in hand as you peacefully slumbered at his side. It was long past midnight, but his restless mind wouldn’t allow him sleep, not with thoughts of his family weighing on him.

As he lost himself within the jargon contained in the documents, he failed to notice the frigid breeze tinging the air or how the roaring fire had been reduced to smoldering ash. It wasn’t until you began to stir that he took note of a change in the room. Looking down at your shivering form, he asked, “What’s wrong, darling?”

“M so cold, Tommy,” you mumbled, half asleep and unable to find him in the large bed. 

Discarding his glasses on the bedside table, he turned out the light and slid under the covers. “C’mere,” he said, pulling you into his bare chest, full of warmth and gentle reassurance he hadn’t gone. His strong arms wrapped around you and you instantly felt his body heat radiating over you as you snuggled closer. A lazy smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you felt his lips graze the top of your head. “Get some rest. We’ve got a big day tomorrow,” he reminded you, thumb grazing your shoulder gently. You wanted to voice your concern about the housewarming party, but too tired to protest, you only nodded against him. “Good girl,” he murmured as sweet slumber welcomed you once more.

———————————————-

“Frances, tell Mr. Shelby I’m taking a walk,” you said as you gathered your coat and hat. 

“Are you alright, ma’am? You didn’t eat any breakfast,” she asked, her kind blue eyes looking you over to be sure the stress of the last few weeks hadn’t made you overly anxious. She knew how much you wanted this evening’s party to be a success.

“I’ll have something later. I only need the fresh air now,” you said with a reassuring smile. You didn’t want her to know how your nerves were making your stomach churn into such a frenzy you felt you might be sick any moment. Was it your imagination or was Tommy retreating to his office more with every phone call from one of his disapproving relatives?

You had to stop the intrusive thoughts before they began so you set out toward the calming warmth of the morning sun, basking in the gentle heat upon your cheeks. You didn’t have any particular destination in mind when you set out from the house, passing the garage and the stables. You only knew you needed absolute quiet before the chaos of the evening began.

Soon you’d distanced yourself from anyone working near the house and the only sounds to be heard were the crows overhead and the distant rush of cool water from the river. As you inhaled a deep breath of fresh air, a frigid breeze stirred your hair and an unfamiliar scent came to you, something that shifted and changed as it swirled around you with the early morning fog. You began to sense you were not alone as you heard the snap of a twig from deep within the forest bordering your land. However, finding nothing but mist taunting your vision, you attempted to steady your breathing. 

Pulling your cloak around your shoulders protectively, you turned to leave. The chill in the air was unmistakable as it had been last night. However, this time the source would become known as an unnatural presence stalked from beyond the brush in stealthy movements until a figure appeared just beyond your left shoulder.

“Y/n Shelby” a low voice called to you. Hands trembling at your throat, your head snapped from left to right, waiting for the person to show themselves. Soon a woman emerged from the dense fog, wild brunette hair flowing freely and fierce hazel eyes narrowing at you. You could only watch in speechless fright as she closed the space between you, leaning on a crooked walking stick.

“You have no clue who I am, do you?” she questioned, voice dripping with condescension. However, you’d placed her by now from the family photos in Tommy’s study. She’d lost weight, cheeks sunken and wrinkles etched into her pale skin, but the resemblance was unmistakable.

“You’re John’s widow, Esme,” you answered, trying not to let your fear show. You’d heard about her hatred of Tommy and the curse she’d placed on him before her hasty departure years ago. 

“Don’t have to make it sound so harsh, love. I’m still a part of this family whether Tommy likes it or not,” she asserted firmly, a wild gleam in her eye. 

You swallowed harshly with a nod of your head. “If you need me to arrange a meeting with Tommy…”

“I don’t want to see him,” she spat as she continued to stalk toward you. 

You cocked your head, unsure of what else she might want. “Then is there something else?” you asked, feeling your breath coming hard and fast at the realization you were alone together and much further from the house than you would have liked.

Esme stopped suddenly, looking at you in distress as she made a mysterious confession, “There’s only one thing that could make it right.” She stared into the distance, a long silence stretching before you until she began speaking again, more to herself than you. “It’s been so long since I was back here living with John…” 

You shook your head slowly, wanting to offer her comfort, but unsure how to right the wrongs of the past you’d only just become acquainted with yourself. “If you want to come to Arrow House, we’ll do everything we can to help you and the children,” you offered. 

She spun around to face you, body tense and chest heaving. “Fuck you and your bloody mansion!” she spat at your feet, making you jump.

“Then why are you here?” you challenged her, your words coming out more forcefully than intended. 

“Cos Thomas Shelby has lived in peace far too long. I warned him there’d be a price to pay,” she said, forcing her staff into the ground for emphasis with a look of devilment in her eye.

You began to back away, feeling her gaze rest upon you like that of a hungry wolf locked onto it’s prey. The long grass swept along the backs of your legs as another gust of wind blew and your nerve endings ignited sending shivers coursing down your spine. Your legs trembled in anticipation, the urge to flee growing by the second. You glanced back toward the path home knowing the attempt would be futile. Slow acceptance washed over you as you winced, “Are you here to kill me?” You felt your mouth go dry as you uttered the unthinkable, a knot forming in your stomach as you awaited an answer. 

“I’m not armed,” she stated calmly, opening her jacket to prove it to you. 

You felt the hammering in your chest subside as you inhaled a shaky breath, but you were still wary of her. There was something unsettling about her presence which told you she didn’t need weapons to do harm. “You won’t hurt Tommy either?” you asked, tears gathering in your eyes as the unspoken plea for your husband’s life hung in the air between you.

“If that’s what you want,” she said with a crooked smile, amusement evident in her tone. “Perhaps there is something you can do for me.”

“Yes, anything,” you said nodding vigorously. Closing your eyes in relief, head tipped up to the heavens in grateful prayer, you didn’t see her dip into the satchel at her waist and remove a few seeds. She scattered them at your feet with a chuckle, the jarring sound of her laughter bringing you back to reality. 

As you inspected the small, brown shells at your feet, you furrowed your brow in confusion. Were they nuts? Seeds? You couldn’t be sure until they suddenly began to burrow into the ground with a speed that made you gasp. Roots formed before your very eyes, growing and twisting in gnarled patterns along the ground until they began to snake toward your toes. As in a nightmare, you found your feet growing heavy and uncooperative as a wayward root found it’s way up your leg, lacing elegantly back and forth like a snake until you were bound to the spot were you stood.

Esme stood back and watched you carefully, a look of satisfaction on her face as you began to feel a tightening in your chest. Your lungs felt as though they were being punctured by thorns and you began to cough. “What have you done?” you sputtered, feeling your body begin to shake. There was no answer as a violent fit overtook you, delicate petals spewing from your pink lips and falling to the ground. Your hands shot up to gather them, but you found jagged leaves in place of fingers, sprouts shooting from your fingertips. You wished to shout, but by now your voice had gone, only a rustling of leaves in it’s place as you stood trapped within the bark of a twisted blackthorn tree. A faint echo of the curse Esme had issued long ago whispered forth in the wind replacing your scream with her words, “No peace for you ever.”

————————

“Frances, where did Mrs. Shelby say she was going?” Tommy asked, looking down at his pocket watch. The hour had grown late and he was concerned you hadn’t returned for lunch.

“She said she was going for a walk, sir,” Frances replied. “She enjoys the path by the river.”

“Thank you,” Tommy replied, grabbing his coat and setting off to find you. However, his search that day would be fruitless and his agitation grew as his family arrived for dinner.

The moment Polly arrived he grasped her elbow, pulling his aunt into his office with harsh insistence. “It could only have been you. What have you done with her?” Tommy seethed.

Jerking her arm away, Polly’s brown eyes lit with fury to match her nephew’s. “What the bloody hell, Tommy!”

“Y/n, she went missing this afternoon,” he said, raking a hand through his hair and making his appearance even more untidy than before. Pacing like a caged animal, he shook his head. “Don’t try to deny it, Pol!” he pointed at her accusingly. “You warned me she wouldn’t last long in the family and I know what that means.”

Polly furrowed her brow in concern, eyes tracking Tommy’s impatient movement from one end of the room to the other. “Tommy, I’ll pretend you didn’t just accuse me of doing away with your wife. You obviously aren’t thinking clearly,” she stated, straightening her fur. She crossed to the bar to pour three fingers of whisky before handing it to him to calm his nerves.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she watched him pause long enough to gulp it down, hoping it might weigh him to the carpet for a moment as she reasoned with him. Using the low, soothing voice she reserved for moments of crisis she began, “Is it possible she’s left of her own accord. Gone back to France?”

Tommy's eyes glazed over as he allowed her words to penetrate his heart and just when he accepted the stab of betrayal, a sharp knock came upon the door. The noise pulled him from the depths of his despair, a hopeful look brightening his eyes as the stablehand held up Mrs. Shelby’s cloak. “We found this tangled in the blackthorn, Mr. Shelby.”

———————-

One year later…

Time and time again Tommy had returned to the tree where your belongings were found, praying for the first time in years that you might return. Despite his best efforts to learn if you’d been kidnapped or worse, there was no word from his men north or south and the lack of information was slowly driving him mad. His only consolation was found at the foot of the gnarled blackthorn tree where, for reasons unknown to him, he felt closer to you. However, he never allowed his family or staff to accompany him to the area he considered sacred ground. It had become far too personal.

On the anniversary of your disappearance, when a walk by the river failed to soothe him, Tommy began to loose all faith. He craved the softness of your touch, the sound of your laughter, the glimmer in your eye when he called your name. There hadn’t been enough time to savor it all before you’d gone and the thought he might never experience it again was ripping him apart. “I don’t know how much longer I can go on without you, Y/n,” he cried, dropping to his knees.

Looking up into the twisted branches, the snow-white blossoms overhead showered over him. The scent of the blooms surprised him as they smelled far sweeter than any he’d ever noticed before. In fact, it transported him to a happier time when he danced with you in Paris, holding you close to him and promising to love you forever. He whispered your name to the heavens and was rewarded with another sprinkling of flowers, a bittersweet smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Within the confines of your thorny prison, you watched over your beloved husband. Instinctively you moved toward him, but the roots planted long ago had burrowed deep into the earth, holding you captive so you could do nothing more than bear witness to his suffering.

As his shoulders slumped forward, his large hand dipped beneath his woolen coat and your terror grew as you spied what he had been reaching for. Tommy’s eyes shut tight as his arm snapped to attention at his temple, the muscle memory of a soldier called to action. A hushed prayer fell from his lips just audible over the babbling brook. “In the bleak midwinter…”

You would have gasped if you still remained human or shouted a desperate plea for your husband’s life, but now it became nothing more than a silent prayer for someone or something to stop him in time. 

It was not to be. The crisp clear shot rang out into the air and you strained against your bonds in agony. Your efforts resulted in nothing more than a muffled rustling of leaves and an echo carried away on the wind, “No peace for you ever.”

--------------

Tag List:

@evita-shelby

@shelbydelrey

@alanadetigy

@severewobblerlightdragon

@lovemissyhoneybee

@theshelbyslimited

@kittycatcait219

@notyour-valentine

@areyenotfondofmelobster

@polishcrazyone

@elenavampire21

@little-diable

@lyarr24

@jomarch-wannabe

@helen06dreamer

@raincoffeeandfandoms

@dearshelby

@cillmequick

@call-sign-shark

@peakyltd

@brummiereader

@runnning-outof-time

@emotionalcadaver

@thegreatdragonfruta

@noforkingclue

@pacifymebby

@dandelionprints

@look-at-the-soul

@thomashelbyswife

@babayaga67

@kmhappybunny240

@moral-terpitude

@l1-l4

@justlulu

@kmc1989

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@the-fangirl-diaries

@izabesworld

@babaohhhriley

@dreamlandcreations

@chaosinkest1996

[lucien-calore]

couples that "😐" together, stay together

[hllywdwhre]

Just here to remind everyone I love Esme Shelby-Lee more than anyone else in the world (John can fight me)

[runnning-outof-time]

Ok, I’m curious…

Thanks for answering! 😊

[everything-destroys-you]

Shotgun romance, all natural born

Show no mercy, slay them all

One kill, two souls

Oh, our hearts of cold

(Hearts Of Cold - Sister Sin)

[graythursday]

the shelbys always have the most relaxing holiday get-togethers :)

[ahleecollaborations]

I see a lot about how the war affected Tommy and Arthur but do we ever talk about how it affected John?

He was the youngest of the 3 to go off to France. The first time we see him he’s getting his ass whooped by Polly…he’s struggling as a single dad back from War.

He claimed Lizzie would never replace Martha but his kids need a Mum. That leads me to believe that John loved Martha deeply. He was willing to take a chance on Lizzie before all of them. And he came to genuinely love Esme (a second chance for him).

Season 2 & 3 he’s the one to put Polly in her place about Michael (no games or bets like Tommy does). Just straightforward puts her in her place. Claims he’s killed hundreds of men by the time he was Michael’s age and nearly died himself - Michael was 18 at the time of this comment. How young was John when he left for the war? Were any of his kids born yet?

So he’s been to war as a child, lost the first love of his life before they’ve even gotten to live, become a single dad, and treated just as he said like a “Toy soldier, do this John, do that John, kill you’re fuckin’ teacher John!” (Post Grace’s death Season 3)

There’s a scene back in season 1 where he interrupts Tommy with the opium and John mostly monologues about the war (kind of our first glimpse of his experience) and he always sounded like a scared lost kid talking with his dad (Tommy) in that moment to me.

Then he finally gets away… living peacefully with his family and then the past comes back to haunt him.

Truthfully I don’t see where John could be the most like Arthur Sr. - sure he’s violent and revels in it. I think that’s a by-product of the war. Arthur Sr. Is the type to beat a woman- John would kill any man who laid hands on women (we see that in his caring of Lizzie and Esme. He’s by far the least selfish and most caring towards his women of the brothers).

He’s not like Tommy or Polly or even Arthur. He does well as a Peaky Blinder because that’s all he knows, but I think he’s the most at peace with his family wherever they are. He just wanted to make Esme and the kids happy and safe in the end.

Makes me wonder what Martha Shelby was like? And was John the glimpse of who their mother was?

[twvstedsouls]

Our stuff will stay with me. Taking the children on the road...to live with decent people. They'll never know the curse side of this family. We're done with them, John.

— PEAKY BLINDERS I S4.02

[tommygrace]

Of the three brothers, Tommy and Arthur are the most affected by the war, than John, that we can see, because SK focused more on the two of them and not so much on John.

But we can also see the violence in him, how he enjoys cutting people's eyes, and he loves to fight. He has no problem cheating on Esme with other women, he doesn't feel guilty, and he started, along with Lizzie, the war with the Changrettas, precisely because of his ex. After the tragedy, he did not feel guilty, and instead of accompanying Tommy, what he did was provoke him.

Likewise, sometimes he had good intentions, and although the relationship with Esme could be a little toxic, I really liked them both.

Arthur is the most affected, of the three, by the violence that he carries inside, from killing the poor boy, and every time they fought, a wild animal that he carries inside would come out. One of the stories that I liked the most in the show was the one between Arthur and the boy's mother. It was shocking and we were able to see up close how the Shelbys affect people, forever, because that mother will never be able to get over losing her son and in that way.

Also the relationship with Linda, at the beginning, we see a woman with good intentions, a Catholic woman, who is sure that she will be able to heal Arthur, and get the violence out of him, by the end of the relationship, we see that it was Arthur the one who changed Linda, bringing her darkness to the surface. From a loving relationship, to a toxic relationship with physical and verbal violence. In the end Linda had no other solution than to point a gun at her husband, wishing for his death.

And then there's Tommy, the war continued on his mind, so much so that he could hear the shovels on the wall. He used the drug to silence his mind, but he still couldn't. A man who is not afraid of death, because he is already dead, and has no reason to live, lives because he doesn't care. Violent like his brothers.

Until he meets Grace, and she changed his life. I really like how Steven Knight and Cillian Murphy talk about Grace, saying that "she is Tommy's savior, even though he doesn't deserve it". "He felt like he was healing with her." Neither the drug nor the family, nor any other woman, could achieve, what she achieved, give him a little of the peace that Tommy had lost in that war. She silenced his demons, he didn't hear the shovels on the wall and he could finally sleep, if she was by his side.

I think she's the only one who reached that point, because neither Esme nor Linda managed to reach that high point with John and Arthur. Tommy did feel, for a short time, what it means to be a normal man again, what it means to have peace of mind.

But she died and so died his peace and the only humanity he had left. Her death was a trauma even greater than the war. Because where the shovels were on the wall, it was now replaced by the sound of Grace's last breath. And sometimes his hallucinations. And that's when we see how little by little he becomes more violent and more toxic.

He marries again, and his marriage is quite similar to that of Arthur and Linda.

Lizzie, like Linda, have the fantasy that they can change them, they believe they are saviors, but it is a fantasy, it is a lie, that they tell themselves, in order to stay in that marriage and for it to make sense. At the end of both marriages, it was them, Tommy and Arthur, who changed them, bringing the darkness they always carried inside to the surface. .The two, at some point in their marriage, ended up pointing a gun at their husbands. That's how dark and toxic the two marriages became.

I believe that we can see the traumas of the three brothers through their marriages. And I think that for Tommy, the death of Grace, and for Arthur, the death of John, were the traumas that led them to increase and worsen the first one, the war.

[best-character-named-x-poll]

have you done your daily click

[novashelby]

🌼Cseni & Esme🌼

"I didn't want to marry him-"

"And so you'll live a lie, Esme-"

"We all live in lies."

[lucien-calore]

the way they hold hands??? the way john's hand is huge compared to hers?? the way he grips her hand so tightly??

also, when ada starts yelling at tommy (biggest verbal smackdown of 1919, by the way. ate her brother up and then came for seconds) and john lifts esme up while looking around with alert eyes, a hand on her stomach. yeah.

and when they call john and esme to dance and he says no...

and three seconds later:

dancing the night away fr.

best pb couple. argue with the wall.

[sskadooosh]

The Shelbys

Peaky Blinders: a sitcom

All comedic moments from season 1

[faith-forgxtten-land]

idek what you'd do with this but you're a Taylor fan so peaky blinders characters and their corresponding Taylor song/s

ooooh this is a good one. and surprisingly difficult. and i'm trying not to repeat songs which is hard when all of these people are so desperately mentally ill...

Peaky Blinders Characters + their Taylor Swift songs

warnings: needlessly long

Tommy Shelby

mr perfectly fine - does this need explaining? he is mr casually cruel, mr everything revolves around you

so dignified in your well-pressed suit / so strategised, all the eyes on you / sashay your way to your seat / it's the best seat, in the best room / oh, he's so smug, mr always wins / so far above me in every sense / so far above feeling anything

dear reader - burn all the files, desert all your past lives

Alfie Solomons

london boy - i laughed with this but i will stand by it for obvious reasons

getaway car - i will take no comments on this

i knew you were trouble - he is trouble

beautiful ghosts - it mentions london and that’s good enough for me

i know this life isn’t safe / but it’s wild and it’s free

style - we never go out of style (alfie to tommy probably)

look what you made me do - honey, i rose up from the dead, i do it all the time

Arthur Shelby

this is me trying - i’m not sure i can find a song more fitting

they told me all of my cages were mental / so i got wasted like all my potential

renegade - is it insensitive for me to say “get your shit together so i can love you”?

you fire off missiles ‘cause you hate yourself / but do you know you’re demolishing me?

forever winter - he’s up, 5am, wasted / long gone, not even listening

in short, poor arthur

Polly Gray

sad beautiful tragic - it just feels right

mad woman - i’m struggling to explain these choices but they’re correct

castles crumbling - yes

my tears ricochet - also yes

Ada Shelby

dorothea - i thought hard about this one so you better agree

you got shiny friends since you left town

it’s never too late to come back to my side

fearless - she is

a place in this world - i'm just a girl / trying to find a place in this world

ours - communism

John Shelby

i forgot that you existed - i am sorry john

the way i loved you - he and esme are crazy

but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain / it’s 2am and i’m cursing your name

can you tell i struggled

girl at home - you’re married john

Michael Gray

foolish one - he’s dumb as hell

never grow up - just is, could be him or polly

the lucky one - you wonder if you’ll make it out alive

bad blood - well

Grace Burgess

when emma falls in love - when emma falls in love, she paces the floor / closes the blinds and locks the door

she won’t walk away, unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

and all the bad boys would be good boys / if they only had a chance to love her

Lizzie Stark

don’t you - this fits her so well and i will not entertain any arguments about it

i heard she’s nothing like me / i’m sure she’ll make you happy

sometimes, i really wish that i could hate you / i’ve tried, but that’s just something i can’t do

you’re losing me - we thought a cure would come through in time, now i fear it won’t

now i just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time / do i throw out everything we built or keep it

May Carleton

august - you weren’t mine to lose

Finn Shelby

exile - i’m hilarious

you’re on your own, kid - see above

Esme Lee

crazier - yes

[graythursday]

i miss them dearly

[thomashelbyswife]

Gif Requests Are Open ♡

Darlings! 💋 I am absolutely thrilled to share that as we celebrate hitting 1.6k followers, I've made a heartfelt decision to open up my gif requests. I want to express my sincere gratitude and appreciation for each and every one of you. Your support means the world to me, and I am truly grateful. I hope you'll drop in and make this celebration even more special. I'll be eagerly looking forward to all your amazing requests! 🥰 Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Rules For Requests:

- I will be making gifs for anything related to Peaky Blinders.

- My requests are open for Tommy, Arthur, John, Alfie Solomons, Polly Gray and the rest of the Peaky Women. Grace is an exception, but if it's with Tommy, I'm accepting. (Cause it has Tommy in it) And of course, Jack Nelson is always welcome too :D

- I also make gifsets for the beauty of each seasons aesthetics, quotes or unique parallels in general (feel free to just spark your creativity with anything so i can work my magic to bring it to life, I would love that!)

- And If I end up taking a bit longer with my gifs, it just means I'm putting in extra effort to make them perfect for you all. I want to make sure I meet your requests! :D

Sending you all my love, M. 💋