#escape abuse

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusers can often tell, that what gives them the power over another person is just them owning a piece of property, a house, financial and economic hold over this person. They know that the only thing that enables them to control a victim, to punish them and keep them unable to escape, is that the victim has no other house to go to, no other source of income, no other survival resources.

So they’re not going to sit still and watch as the victim attempts to gain friends, a job, resources, piece of property. They’re going to do all in their power to sabotage it, stop it, or have it work in their favour.

For example, if the victim is acquiring friends (whose houses could be later used as a refuge), the abuser will attempt to sabotage or break it, either by monopolizing the victim’s time, giving them chores and jobs and time-consuming activities they have to do, away from friends. Or by telling the victim, that they’re universally unlikable, that their friends are not real friends, that they’re secretly judging and consider the victim a burden in their life. They might also go the route of suddenly needing the victim’s all time, being jealous, sick, feeble, needy, anything to stop the victim from reaching out and forming connections with the world.

If it’s about the money, the abuser will either find a way to claim a part, or all of the victim’s new income, or they will try to get the victim to spend it, by withdrawing the money the victim would usually get for necessities. They might sabotage the job by causing new trauma which will keep the victim incapable of work, they might steal the money, break something so the victim would have to replace it, or, they will try to talk the victim into putting the money in a place where they won’t have access to it, like in a joint account, savings account, a gamble, an investment. They will make it sound like a smart thing to do; then, the victim can’t go anywhere as their money is out of reach. And once the money is within reach, the abuser will find a new joint venture for them to spend it on, so then again, the victim would end up spending the money on increasing the abuser’s property, rather than for buying their own. The abuser will convince the victim that doing otherwise, would be very stupid.

In order to escape the sabotaging abuser, the victim has to somehow organize savings, a new place to go, new social connections, new experience and income, practically overnight, or completely in secret. This is why it often feels hard or impossible, it’s not a matter of taking your stuff and physically getting out, they make sure you have nowhere to go. They make sure you’re either unaware, or too ashamed to go to a shelter, that you’re looking at homelessness if you turn your back on them, because they made sure you have no income, no access to resources or social connections. 

And I’m not saying that the escape is impossible because I did it, and others have too; it might take years, it might take risks and secrecy and fighting with the abuser over and over again for the right to privacy, for the right to keep your own money somewhere they can’t reach it, sometimes it takes enduring violence, putting your life on the risk only for the escape. I’m saying you’re not guilty for having a hard time with it. It’s not happening because you’re incapable, or lazy, or don’t know how to get anywhere in life. It’s not because you’re bad at getting friends, or a job, or income. It’s not because of you. The abuser is actively standing in your way at the every step of it. But they won’t be able to do that forever. Nobody can keep another human being where they don’t want to be, forever.

[technically-human]

Hey, don't cry. Ghost yuri, okay?

(Now that you know the girls, they need to meet the boys!)

[wisedreamerreview]

Realization of Truth

Day 59-page 59 realization of truth – There are those, who have been in, or may currently be in an abusive relationship. The abuse does not have to be physical to cause damage. While physical abuse is bad, unless the abuse causes a fatality, most of the time, the injuries will physically heal. Severe injuries may leave scars, a reminder of what happened. Physical injuries though, can and often…

[the-art-block]

Please consider donating and/or sharing to help this lovely person escape a very shitty situation!

Donations Here!

If you have any additional resources you could appraise them of, this is a link to their Tw*tter account! They need all the help they can get, folks!

[lovingwordsandhatefulpromises]

Please Help

Posting on an Alt Account b/c my soon-to-be-ex is kind of unpredictable & I'm nervous. Its the same reason I am using AngelLink & not gofundme- even when I did a test fundraiser there, where I didn't link my FB, it still somehow showed up & he saw it.

Glad it was a benign post (helping a friend w/ her dog) and not this one.

My main blog is tolightamatch, and while I don't think he uses his tunblr anymore, better safe than sorry.

The TLDR is: he had a stroke in March & demanded a divorce in May & now is trying to walk back the divorce & getting possessive & scary about it. His personality has changed, and he is unpredictable. And I'm scared things could get physical & need out.

My lease is up in January but since he may be staying in the apartment I cant count on the last months rent being paid & im not fighting over the deposit.

I am asking for a lot- 7k- but its to pay off November & Decembers rent so I can break my lease, have the $$ for the 1st/last/pet deposit on a new place plus a couple months storage so I can start getting the most important things out of the house now in case things escalate. As well as the $$ to file for the divorce.

If you can help, please do. And thank you.

[rwnjun]

andreil if they were birds ..!

[mewobrute]

[ghostdrinkssoup]

I thought it was a good thing abigail wasn’t cannibalised until I realised it meant every part of her was wasted. her death fulfilled no greater purpose. none of her fathers cherished her in the end and she was elevated to no new heights. she was simply killed and laid to waste, unknown and unseen. nobody loved her

[mochii-derogatory]

ive been watching the dog motif show... why is no one talking about this guy. isaac lahey come home from france,,,, sweet boy,,,, we miss you,,,

[furiousgoldfish]

my parents: why don't you already know stuff! how old are you! you have no skills to survive, you'll never make it out in the real world! Nobody will ever hire you!

me, about things I'm interested: hey how does that work?

my parents: don't ask me! nobody cares! you should already know this!

me, trying to learn a new skill on my own: hey i can do this now, look

my parents: THAT WONT MAKE YOU ANY MONEY, and you're horrible at it, what is that, I'll rip it apart! it's ugly and worthless!

me: it's so easy and encouraging to learn and grow in this household :) I am getting all information and support that I need :) I am going to grow into a capable and functional adult :) nobody is withholding knowledge or skills from me :) I am certainly not being blocked from gaining knowledge and skills so I wouldn't run away from this place :) my parents are so well meaning when they paralyze me in shame and cut information off :) this is a normal and loving family situation :)

[ruler-of-turtle-kind]

Hey, do any of my followers have experience with absconding from their parents' house to a safe place as soon as they're able? Do you have any advice on how to do that? Do you have any advice on what the person they're going to live with should do?

[dani-luminae]

"It's so silly, why is Carlos scared of dogs?"

"What's going on with the whole staring contest thing with Mal and Maleficent, it's so lame"

Because these are both details on how each of these mothers control their children! Same with the Evil Queen convincing Evie that her only worth was in beauty and who she married and why Jafar made Jay steal consistently!

I know the second and third movies really gloss over it horrendously but D1 was very much about abused children escaping their parents and each of the four parents has a different method of "control" over their child.

Maleficent's staring contest is "you will never be as powerful as me unless you do as I say," (aided in part because at this point in canon, Mal's dad was human), so Mal finally "winning" a staring contest was her beating her mother through refusing to give in, and thus Mal's spell triumphed.

Cruella teaching Carlos to be scared of dogs is "the world is too frightening and dangerous and you must stay here," but befriending Dude is the moment he realizes she is absolutely wrong about the world and he would much rather be surrounded by friends than live in fear.

Jafar making Jay steal is because there's no magic and wealth is now the only semblance of power that can be found on the island but also isolation because you can't trust anyone - until Jay wins the MVP trophy and realizes that trusting his friends makes a great difference.

And the EQ reducing Evie's worth to beauty not only references the whole "Fairest of Them All" thing but also magic/knowledge was not a guarantee of power, but 'beauty' was what mattered most and why Snow White survived being poisoned; and yet that fails Evie because Chad is the worst but the one person who encourages her no matter what is the son of a dwarf.

[lirulua]

Update: Helping Partner Escape Cali

Hello everyone, we have an update! The goal has to be lowered to 2,000 as the car is now a lost cause.

We think everything should be about $$1,500-$1,800 but just to be safe we're sticking with $2,000.

She needs funds for a small moving truck or van which minimum is $965 dollars as well as the gas needed to get up here and the boxes. Care for her two cats, who need to be spayed and neutered but sadly one of them is pregnant so that one needs to wait.

Her parents are extremely lgbtphobic and i'm extremely worried about how her father will react if he finds out as he is the type of person to end his own child because of their sexuality

@glitchyartist has her commissions open as do we. We're currently obsessed with making mushroom boys and pop shrooms so if either of those tickle your fancy let us know!

Here is a link to her commission sheet https://twitter.com/glitchyartist12/status/1774174079832174714

And her paypal and gofundme

$200/$2,000

PAYPAL

@transgendz

[blackoutbugza]

quick! show me your design for one of the sides as kids!

i’ll go first :)

[tanglepelt]

Dp x dc idea 35

Amity park is a town with an info blackout. They are fed lies regarding the government, the Giw is just apart of the scheme.

When the fentons open the portal. There is fear that citizens will try to leave hence the GIW. They are there to make it seem like they have outside help.

Vlad is fully aware of it. He doesn’t care all he wants is Maddie. The Fenton parents are also aware. They don’t care they just want to hunt ghost. No one expected the Fentons to succeed.

The group planned on doing something with amity. Not to sure what. Something nefarious.

One day Danny overhears this. Him not having the brain cell for the day. Hides in the random persons trunk and leaves amity behind. Literally didn’t tell anyone. Just went for it.

Thus enters a world with hero’s. Dudes shell shocked.

He gets caught up in a fight between a villain and hero actually on accident. Ends up panicking and knocks out said villain.

Hence how he meets a hero and finds out humans are a lot more squishy then ghost. He wasn’t even using his ghostly strength.

He gets help for amity. And whatever the scheme is gets stopped.

[brucewaynehater101]

Reverse Robins AU is a fun concept, but I need more of that Jason POV angst.

If Tim and Jason are swapping roles (i.e. Tim dies and Jason is the third Robin), I need that focus on Jason's early Robin years.

Bruce, who's a grieving brutal man, would scare Jason. The violence, the coldness, and (if it's your flavor) the alcoholism. Bruce finds this child and, unlike for canon Jason, doesn't show him love and care.

So why does Jason stick around? Why would Jason put up with this behavior?

Bruce reminds Jason of a gnarly combination of Willis and Catherine.

The violence, the yelling, and the fear of a father figure are reminiscent of Willis. The lack of self-care, depressive spirals, and dissociative states are a messed up way Jason can see some of his mom again. Jason gets glimpses of his parents, but only in the worst sides of Bruce.

I want to see Jason tucking in Bruce and humming songs that would comfort his mom. Similar to when Catherine would forget or be unable to prepare food, Jason would ensure Bruce ate. He would chat lightly for hours to bring Bruce back from staring at Tim's case.

If Bruce is an alcoholic in this fic, Jason would be rubbing Bruce's back as he vomits. He would watch as Bruce poured another glass knowing he can't stop him.

When Bruce goes on a rampage, when he's screaming and hollering and throwing things, Jason would be hiding in his closet. Damian probably told Jason to call him when it gets like that (Damian can get Jason out of there if he can't stop it), but why would he? It's not like anyone was there for him before. It's not like calling for help led to him actually getting the assistance he needed. Instead, it usually led to the situation becoming worse.

So, despite the parentification (that's all that Jason's known), the kid stays. Bruce needs him after all. He eventually pulls Bruce away from the ledge. He finally gets a dad that doesn't cause his hands to tremble. Damian comes around more often and teaches Jason how to protect himself. Finally, the kid is Robin and able to help people (like how he saved Bruce).

Then Tim comes back from the dead.