#eris week makes miracles happen

[queercontrarian]

Eris calls in his bargain with Rhysand: he wants Nesta to join him in the Autumn Court to help him in his scheme to bring down his father.

happy eris week fuckers. this one goes out to @secret-third-thing for being so endlessly patient with me. also thank you to @fieldofdaisiies for being the best beta i could ask for. i love you, please enjoy ♡

@erisweekofficial

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The Bargain

For as long as she could remember, Nesta had had no illusions about life being fair. Her mother had rid her of that idea when she was just a stupid little girl, but despite how well she had been prepared for disappointment Rhysand’s announcement still felt like one giant cosmic joke.

Silence. Complete and utter silence was ringing in her ears as Nesta waited for the male to say something else. Anything else. She had to have misheard him. There had to be a misunderstanding, some sick joke or a cruel prank for how she had behaved in the past year. But she had been good recently, she had tried…

Cassian’s voice pulled her out of her stupor. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked loudly, as if to challenge Rhys to say it again. He wasn’t the only one. No one in the room seemed to comprehend what their High Lord had just announced to them. Cassian was holding Nesta’s hand almost painfully tight, but she was grateful for the anchor, tethering her to the couch, to here and now. Her head was buzzing.

“Eris demands that Nesta join him in the Autumn Court,” Rhys repeated, “To support him in his scheme to bring down Beron. That is what he demands as his part of the bargain.”

“You can’t be serious.” The words broke out of her as she was thinking them and immediately all eyes snapped to her. The ringing in her ears persisted as she felt herself slowly turn to stone under the combined scrutiny of the room and she reverted into her own space. This could not be happening to her right now. She felt the fire thrum in her blood, icy power bubbling up in her, and did her best to fight it down.

“Well, so much for finding out where his loyalties lie. There's your answer I guess,” Amren quipped, leaning back in her armchair. Mor clicked her tongue at her friend and Amren threw up her hands in frustration. “I’m just saying.”

Mor’s face was nearly as pale as Feyre’s, who was clinging to the pillow in her lap like a shield. “I thought our support was to be given after Eris is already High Lord,” she said, “That you would help validate his claim to the throne or whatever he would need after takeover.” Lucien snorted and then quickly cleared his throat as the attention shifted to his corner of the room.

“Apologies, Morrigan, but why would he need help when he is already High Lord? If the magic chooses him, isn't that claim enough?” Amren hummed, choosing to inspect her nails while Mor tried to launch into an explanation.

“I’m just saying, it’s not–”

Azriel interrupted, finishing Mor’s sentence for her. “This isn't the kind of–” He paused, looking at Nesta for a short moment before looking away, “-support we promised.” Both Mor and Cassian nodded at that. Nesta stayed frozen in her seat.

“And besides, his bargain is with you, not Nesta,” Feyre threw in, still clawing at the pillow in her lap. Rhys nodded but his expression was pained.

"That is correct.” Nesta drew in another deep breath. “I am, however, the High Lord Nesta has sworn fealty to. She is part of the Court, and as High Lord I am the Court and the Court is me."

For a long moment no one said anything as they let the reality of the situation sink in, trying to process what Rhysand had laid out for them. Nesta closed her eyes and breathed out shakily before opening her eyes again. Cassian gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Reject it,” he said, his voice impossibly calm and steady, “This bargain is out of the question.” He squeezed her hand again, and Nesta wasn’t sure if it was meant to reassure her or him. Her hand felt so cold. She could feel her power’s pulse in her palm and quickly pulled her hand away from Cassian’s.

“The bargain was made long ago. And unfortunately Eris has already told me that any other solution to our deal will be unacceptable to him,” Rhys explained. “He will consider our bargain unfulfilled. This is the support he wants, the only support he’ll take." For the first time he met Nesta’s eyes and she almost believed the sorrow in them when he said “Trust me, I’ve tried.”

She didn't know what to do with that admission. Frankly, she didn't want to acknowledge that any of this was happening at all. Nesta didn't want to speak, she didn't even want to think. She tugged at a loose thread on her dress, wondering if the whole stitching would come undone if she kept pulling. Silver lights danced at the edge of her vision and she squeezed her eyes shut to snuff them out. It was too much, all of it. She had to be dreaming.

Cassian jumped to his feet, pacing a few steps through the room, his wings thrown out wide. She could almost see him tremble with anger. “Nesta is her own person. She can make her own choices, he can't force her to go," he growled, pointing his finger accusingly at his brother. Nesta shivered. Yes he could. He very well could, otherwise they wouldn’t be sitting here.

“He doesn’t have to. I do,” Rhysand replied, running his hand across his face. There was a deep tiredness in his voice that revealed to Nesta that they had already lost this battle.

“And because you are High Lord she has to follow,” Azriel concluded for him. Rhys nodded again and Mor scoffed, though her grasp on the back of the couch gave her true feelings away. It was fear, not anger, that had her fingers damn near piercing the expensive upholstery, the furniture groaning under her tight grip. She too already knew they would find no way out. There was no solution to this but what Eris had laid out for them.

Nesta saw the shield around Feyre light up before she noticed the silver flames licking at her own fingers, and she balled her hands into fists quickly trying to extinguish the fire but it was too late. Before she could even think of anything else Rhysand smothered her in a wave of darkness.

The fire did not go quietly, hissing and cracking so violently that Nesta herself tried to jump away from it, though with the couch at her back there was nowhere to go. Through the noise of the fire she heard several people call out to her but she could place neither where their voices were coming from nor who was reaching out. She closed her eyes, trying to calm down and center herself despite the fire around her, stoically following the mind stilling exercises Gwyn had taught her. Nesta let out another shaky breath and a sudden calm washed over her. She felt her heartbeat thunder in her ears, her blood rushing through her veins along with something else, something older, stronger, fiercer.

Finally, the prickling feeling left her fingers and the fire went out, taking the overwhelming darkness with it. A shocked silence had fallen over the room. Nobody dared to move. Still, Nesta kept her fists closed as if moving her hands even a little bit could rekindle the flames. She was shaking, and she was cold, she was so cold…

“I’m sorry,” she forced out, sounding much more cool and collected than she felt, “I don't know–” She grabbed a fistful of her own dress and felt pure relief when it didn’t catch on fire between her fingers. Gradually, she felt the air around her warm up again as the conversation picked up anew. When she opened her hands she found her fingernails had left tiny crescents pressed into her palm.

“Is there really no way out of it?” Elain asked, her soft voice shaking. “Could you not just… release Nesta from her oath? Then she wouldn’t have to go.” Mor shook her head but it was Lucien who answered. She heard him as if from far away.

“If it was before Eris had voiced his intent to take Nesta as support for the bargain that might have worked, but now that we know… you can’t cheat a bargain.”

Nesta tried to breathe evenly as she inspected the wounds in her palm closer. They weren't simple bruises; she had burned the shapes into her skin. Still, it didn't hurt and Nesta quickly hid her hands under the blanket before anyone else could notice what she had done to herself.

“But it could work. We could risk it, we could stall…” Feyre was nearly pleading, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. There were tears in her icy blue eyes, and Nesta was almost surprised to find she cared so much. Then again her sister cared about everyone, even her. Once more, Lucien was the one to squash her hopes.

“No, Feyre, you can’t risk it. Rhysand won't risk it. Broken bargains are certain to end in catastrophe, but a willfully ignored bargain is just as unpredictable. You remember how badly you were doing in the months after we left Under The Mountain-” Feyre winced but Lucien pressed on, “-and now with the pregnancy… there’s no margin of error for you, and Eris knows it. It's likely why he chose this moment to strike.” Nesta glanced at Rhysand for confirmation. The male had paled noticeably; once again, her sister's life was put on the scale.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Feyre asked, the hurt in her voice painfully obvious even as her mate reached out to her with his hand.

“I only found out yesterday. I'm so sorry, Feyre darling.” But Feyre pushed him away.

“Yesterday was almost twenty hours ago.”

“I know, I was trying… I was trying to find a way out of it, a way to evade the bargain, to-”

“Twenty hours, Rhys,” Feyre reminded him, her voice shaking.

Azriel muttered a curse under his breath, offering a very creative new idea on what Eris should bargain for next, and Nesta withdrew into herself as chaos erupted in the room, Cassian, Feyre and Rhysand all yelling at each other. There was nothing she could have done anyway as everyone else was dragged down the same path Eris had prepared for them.

We'll play later, Nesta Archeron. Had he known then? What had she done? What had he seen that had convinced him he needed her?

When she finally looked up her eyes found Lucien's almost immediately. The male had stayed across the room from her while the Inner Circle argued amongst each other, standing so still he was nearly blending into the wall. His scarred face bore a curious expression. A tad worried, maybe. For her? They barely knew each other. His metal eye whirred in its socket and he turned to the side, his hand reaching up to his face. Nesta could almost feel the high ‘plink’ noise reverberating through her skull as he tapped the eye once and then a second time when it would not stop moving. She quickly focused her attention elsewhere.

Amren seemed to have found a new target in Mor, who was still standing frozen behind the sofa, her dark wine-stained lips a stark contrast to her pale face.

“Well, don't stand there staring like a struck deer,” she mocked the female, throwing a piece of candy from the table in her direction, which Mor elegantly dodged, “it's not you who's going after all.” Mor opened her mouth as if to retort, her pretty face pulled into a mask of fury, while Amren grabbed some more candy to throw.

“Stop it, both of you,” Cassian interrupted sharply, placing himself between the two, “this isn’t helping anyone.”

“You can't tell me what to do,” Amren shot back, but she settled on her couch again, instead opening the paper wrapper of one of the chocolates and popping it into her mouth.

Feyre’s sudden groan of pain broke the petty arguments up right away. Her sister grabbed the back of her armchair hard, face twisted into a grimace. Her mate was at her side in a second.

“What is it?” he asked anxiously, trying to put a hand on her back to feel her pain. Feyre slapped his arm away.

“I am fine,” she said through gritted teeth. Everyone watched as they stared at each other, apparently engaged in another intense mind to mind communication until Feyre broke, turning her face away from her husband.

“Rhys, I said I am fine, I am fucking fine,” she snapped, walking a few steps backwards, out of his reach. Another wave of pain shook her and she pressed her hands into her lower back with a groan. When Lucien reached out to stabilize her, Rhysand growled. Immediately Feyre’s head whipped back to him, her eyes narrowed with anger.

“How deep do you want your grave to be?” she hissed at her husband, “Fucking keep it together.”

Silence fell over the room. The only sound was Feyre's heavy breathing, the crackling fire across the room and, of course, Amren’s candy wrappings. It lasted several seconds before Azriel finally spoke up.

“Perhaps you should discuss this amongst yourselves,” he suggested carefully, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Rest for a while. You're both burdened with far more than anyone should carry, just take this moment to talk it out.” Rhysand hesitated but Feyre nodded briskly.

“Let’s,” she said coolly, gathering herself for a moment before heading for the door without looking back. Rhys followed her much more cautiously.

Nesta tuned out the hushed discussion between the remaining members of Rhysand's inner circle pondering possible solutions that weren’t directly playing into Eris’s hands, looking for loopholes or, in Azriel’s case, the merits of murdering Eris before the bargain could be fulfilled. Nesta wasn't sure of what to do. She didn’t want to participate in the fruitless discussions and she didn’t want to leave alone. She wouldn’t even know where to go - she couldn’t make it back to the House of Wind on her own. So she waited.

Eventually Elain came to sit by her side, leaning her head against her shoulder like she used to when they were kids. Her sister's dress rustled as she tried to get comfortable. It sounded louder still to Nesta's numb brain. Elain smelled like cinnamon and apples and Nesta suddenly, ridiculously, felt sad that none of them would be able to properly enjoy whatever delicacy her sister had baked for their dinner.

“Are you alright?” Elain asked quietly, in that soft, almost sad tone she adopted as of late whenever she spoke with Nesta. Nesta barked out a laugh.

“Obviously not.” Her tone was biting but her sister only nodded.

“Figures,” she mumbled. Nesta only stared back at her incredulously. Then she scoffed.

“Some seer you are. Such perspicacity, what astute observations you enlighten us with,” Nesta muttered. But when Elain looked up and met her eyes she couldn’t help herself. They both burst into laughter, quickly hiding their giggles behind their hands to not startle the others. They might think Feyre's sisters had lost their minds at last, cackling like two crows on a branch at the misfortune of some poor fool down below. And maybe they had, only the poor fool was Nesta’s role to play and misfortune was what the Mother had woven into her life from the day she had spun the first thread of her fate.

All three of them, Mother, Seer and Lady Death herself already knew that there was no changing this path, no matter what the others might tell themselves.

Nesta was going to Autumn.

◇

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[backseatbnha]

Imagine..

a Beauty and the Beast setting. You're a writer, and you enjoy publishing books in your local rundown library, owned by your friend Shinsou.

The town's man hunk, Bakugou, loves tormenting Shinsou. Everyone admires him for his strength, his intelligence, his beauty. He slays beasts that threaten the peace of your town. He's everything BUT nice. Truth be told, he likes you - he would never admit it, and instead resorts to picking on Shinsou.

One day, you notice that Shinsou's been gone for days now, and find out from rumors around the town that he's ventured out into the old, abandoned castle not too far away from town.

You set out to go look for him, and end up in trouble yourself. You're caught by Tokoyami Fumikage, the beast everyone had told you stories about when you were a kid.

You beg him to let Shinsou go, in return you would stay here forever. After much contemplation, Tokoyami agrees, and lets Shinsou go.

Over the next few weeks, you learn more about the bird-headed man. He's quite cold, but he's definitely got a soft side to him. Over time your bond grew. He takes care of you, and you take care of him.

You learn more about him through his friends - a bunch of talking furniture. A candelabra, whose name is Midoriya. A porcelain teacup, Eri. A tea pot, Ochaco. A vintage clock, Iida.

And more. Momo the fancy wardrobe. Todoroki the refrigerator.. the list goes on.

You learned from them that Tokoyami, and all of them, were bound to a curse. They were to never leave this castle until Tokoyami found true love. And they believe that you're the one.

So they all set you two up for a night of ballroom magic. You were prettied up nicely by Momo the wardrobe. She did the same for Tokoyami afterwards.

Then you both danced the night away, and for the first time in ten years, Tokoyami felt home in this castle he calls a prison.

One day, you see orange lights outside the kingdom. It wasn't the sunrise, it was a horde of townsfolk, raising torches. They've come to rescue you. You see Bakugou in charge at the front. His trusty sidekick, Kirishima, at his side to cheer him on.

Shinsou must have called them.. You hear them scream your name. They're looking for you. And they want Tokoyami's head on a pike.

Tokoyami faces Bakugou in a battle of swords, but alas, Bakugou always gets what he wants, even if it isn't fair, and shoots him right in the heart with his crossbow.

You scream in terror as you watch Tokoyami crumple up, arms over his chest. He glances at you one last time, before he falls to the ground.

While the town celebrated their victory, you scrambled over to Tokoyami's side. You needed to take him to a healer, but with all of this blood gushing out.. you think it's too late.

You sob, a loud scream rips from your throat as Tokoyami lays quiet in your arms. You hold him close, wishing you told him how you felt before all of this happened. You cry and cry for hours on end, praying for a miracle.

And like all fairytales do, something miraculous happened. The castle around you transformed.

Dirty vines turned into pretty flowers. Cracked floors turned into shiny marble floors. The broken walls repaired themselves. The whole castle transformed to look new, and elegant as it should have always been.

You see your furniture friends transform back into their human selves. They all embrace each other happily, in tears.

Your eyes land back on Tokoyami, and his red eyes are staring right back.

He smiles, and you engulf him in the tightest embrace. You cry tears of joy, and he hugs you back with just as much feeling.

You all celebrate for breaking the curse. Everyone's dancing, having a wonderful time. The happiest everyone's been in ten years.

Tokoyami, and all his friends, are eternally grateful, and promise to make you the happiest, just like you did for them.

AKA me wishing someone will write a Beauty and the Beast AU of BNHA,,, a Tokoyami x Reader especially

[a-court-of-valkyries]

Where We Go From There Snippet

NERIS WEEK DAY 5: AU DAY

Hello! For Neris week I decided to do a little snippet for my fic Where We Go From There. This snippet will take place later on in the fic!

Nesta sighed, her back against the wall and her body soaking in the music blaring through the speaker as she watched the party from afar. Gwyn was deep in conversation with Clare Beddor, and Emerie had rushed to the store to get more chips. Feyre and Elain were chatting with Rhysand and his family on the couch. She could’ve engaged in conversation with Balthazar and Lucien, or tried to work on rebuilding her relationship with her sisters, but truthfully, Nesta did not feel like talking with anyone. She wanted to kick everyone out of the loft and go to sleep. She felt guilty at the thought though. She supposed she was in a better place, physically and mentally. She was surrounded by two people who genuinely and truly loved her and had thrown a party for her. She had a great job. Nesta had a lot to be thankful for, but even knowing that didn’t completely erase the gloomy mood she had been in. Seeing Tomas unexpectedly yesterday put her in a spiral, but this feeling was something different, like it had been laying dormant for months and was now shadowing her everywhere she went no matter how much she tried to ignore it.

And Eris had never shown up. Of course, he hadn’t shown up. He didn’t even like her. And I don’t like him, she thought. Nesta was glad he didn’t bother to come. That meant one less person to talk to at least. 

Nesta noticed Gwyn looking around until her eyes finally landed on Nesta. She waved, and Nesta hoped she gave her a convincing smile, one that said she was having a good time. Of course, Gwynn didn’t buy it since she began to make her way over to Nesta. “What’s wrong?” She asked when she finally reached her.

“Nothing! Just taking a little break from all the talking.” Gwyn’s eyebrows pinched in concern. “I’m fine, really,” Nesta reassured her. “Actually, I’ll be right back. I think I just need to get some air.” 

“Okay,” Gwyn mumbled as Nesta walked away. She made her way down the elevator in the hall, stepped outside, and sat on the front steps. She leaned against the railing and closed her eyes, embracing the cold wind on her face as it steadied her. She kept taking deep breaths in and out, hoping that it would stop the sudden rush of tears that wanted to escape. She told Gwyn and Emerie that she wouldn't mind having this party to prove to them and to herself that she was finally doing better, that she was fine, but she felt the exact opposite. She didn’t think she would ever be okay again, and if she, by some miracle, would be happy again, it would be a long time from now.

She was trying so hard to rekindle things with her sisters, and by extension, Rhysand and the rest of their family. But some part of Nesta hated seeing them in her home, indulging in her things after everything that had happened. It brought up all the feelings from when Nesta and Cassian had been together; all those times she felt ostracized, alone, like nothing she did or said was good enough for those people. Not even her sisters or boyfriend at the time felt she was worth enough to stand up for. And then  everything with Tomas. Nesta’s heart sank at the thought. What does it say about me, she thought, when the only love anyone wants to give me is one that hates? Maybe the answer was easy. Maybe Nesta was not a person who was meant to be loved. Emerie had called her brave, yet she felt anything but.

Nesta tried to control her breathing with the counting exercise her therapist had taught her as she felt that familiar course of anxiety run through her veins. She took a deep breath. Five things you can see: cars on the street, a cat walking into an alley across the street, a plane flying, an ‘open’ neon lights sign in a restaurant window, a fire hydrant. Four things you can touch: the  ground, the railing, the flower pot next to the door, her keys.

“You must really be enjoying your party if you’re out here,” a familiar voice said. Nesta's heart picked up, but she ignored it and scowled.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” she said as Eris walked towards her. 

“I like to be fashionably late,” he replied, standing in front of Nesta.

“So late that you almost missed the party?” She feigned disinterest as she watched a cloud of air puff from her mouth. 

“You sound disappointed. What’s wrong, Witchling? Were you beginning to miss me?”

“No,” Nesta said too quickly. Eris smirked knowingly at her, and Nesta hated it. She stared daggers at him. “I didn’t. Shut up.”

There was a glimmer in his eyes as he smirked at her. They lightened up in a way Nesta hadn't noticed before. Amber eyes, warm like honey, bright like she had just stumbled upon buried gold. She quickly dismissed the thought, mumbling about how irritating he was.

Eris rubbed at his arms as he looked around their surroundings. “Why are you out here in the freezing cold?” he asked. “You’ll catch your death.”

“That would make you happy. You’d no longer have me to compete with for surgeries.”

He hummed in agreement. “That would be nice. But I would miss the competition too much.”

Nesta sniffled and eventually answered his question. “I don’t like parties.” 

Eris looked up at the building. “That bad, huh?”

“No,” she said in defense of everything Emerie and Gwyn had done to put this together. Guilt started gnawing at her. She didn't want them to think she wasn't grateful for all of this, but between seeing her sisters and Cassian’s family again, and everything still fresh with Tomas, it felt overwhelming. She supposed seeing two exes in less than 24 hours would do that for anyone. “I just didn't feel like being around a bunch of people right now.”

“Even if I'm the alternative?” 

“Normally I'd say no,” Nesta grumbled, “but I'll make an exception this one time.”

Eris nodded. They settled in silence for a moment, which Nesta found oddly comforting. She closed her eyes. Three things you can hear. A car horn in the distance, crickets chirping somewhere nearby, -

Nesta straightened as Eris took a seat on the step next to her, putting a warm jacket around her to cover her shoulders. “You don't have to do that.” She began to shrug out of it, which only made Eris pull it around her tighter. 

She shook her head. “This feels weird. Take it back.”

He scrunched his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Because it's weird! We fight. We compete. We despise each other. We’re not friendly.”

Eris shrugged casually. “What if I made you a deal?”

Nesta raised an eyebrow, wary of where the conversion was heading. “What kind of deal?”

“What if we were enemies that sometimes. . .” he paused, trying to think of the right word, “tolerated each other. At least for tonight.”

“I’m tolerating you right now.”

“And it’s not so bad, is it?” he asked, bumping her knee with his playfully.

Nesta grumbled and looked ahead. “Jury’s still out.” Eris huffed in laughter, and Nesta fought back a grin. Being here with him was surprisingly nice and if she was honest, it was the most she enjoyed herself tonight. Though she’d never admit that to him.

“Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” she said.

“Well as long as we’re on the same page.”

After a few quiet moments, Eris’ voice grew more serious. “How are you? After everything?”

Nesta tensed, ice freezing over the cozy stalemate the both of them had been sharing. The last thing she wanted to think about, let alone talk about was Tomas. Tomas showing up at her job. Tomas screaming at her in front of patients and coworkers. Tomas gripping her arm so hard that bruises formed. Until Eris got involved.

The memory burned her raw. “If that’s what you want to talk about, then feel free to leave,” she glared at him, her voice low in warning like an injured wolf baring its teeth. They'd had some kind of peace offering these last few minutes, but Eris’ words now rebuilt that wall of ice Nesta learned to guard herself with.

“I don’t mean any offense, Nesta. I just wanted to make sure-”

“That’s not your concern. Worry about yourself,” Nesta spat as she got up. She'd thrown open the door to her building when Eris spoke again.

“I was six when I first saw my father hit my mother.”

Nesta froze before she could retreat inside. The air stilled around them. 

Eris paused for a moment before continuing. Cleared his throat. Swallowed. “She accidentally dropped a wine glass near him when trying to clean the table off one night after dinner. It happened so fast I thought I imagined it for a second. But she was on the floor, and she seemed frozen there. I started to run to her to make sure she was okay, but my father gave me a look. It was full of ire. ” Nesta stood still, watching him. Eris clenched his jaw at the memory. His eyes seemed far away, lost in that horrid memory. She knew all too well what that was like. “My mother got up on her knees after that. She gave me a warm smile, trying to comfort me the only way she could. The bruise was already forming around her eye. She just cleaned up the broken glass, and went about putting the dishes away like nothing happened.”

Eris fidgeted where he sat. Nesta hesitated before sitting down next to him again.

“I was so happy when he died. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life.” 

“How is she now? Your mom?”

Eris nodded to himself. “She’s good. Better. I moved her into my apartment so she wouldn’t have to worry about being alone. At least this way I can take care of her.” He chuckled as he fiddled with his hands. “She says I worry too much.”

“That’s nice of you to do,” Nesta said. “You’re a good son, Eris.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m not. I left her alone to deal with him all these years. Being there for her now is the least I can do.” Nesta didn’t know what to say to that, or how to comfort him even though she found herself wanting to. Her heart went out to him and his mother. She'd never heard much of the matriarch of the Vanserra family when Beron Vanserra was still alive and owned the hospital both Nesta and Eris worked at. She'd attend whatever events necessary, but her presence always seemed to fade away into the background while her husband was the center of attention. Nesta couldn't imagine having a life like that, being stuck with someone like that. Chills erupted on her arms when she thought of how close she'd been to a future like that. 

“Why are you telling me this?” she asked, almost in a whisper, like if she spoke louder, it would reveal their terrible and painful secrets to the world. 

He shrugged. “I know something personal about you. Now you know something personal about me.” 

For the first time since everything had gone wrong, a small part of Nesta felt like she wasn’t alone. Like she’d glimpsed a crack of light in spite of how a certain hollowness can emerge from the foundations of a situation like that. Eris Vanserra was the last person she expected to understand the shattered pieces of what remained of her. Yet he understood in ways no one else had, like a kindred pain.

Nesta’s thoughts were interrupted by the feel of something dropping in her lap. She looked down and found a wrapped present in its place. 

“You got me a gift?”

“Of course I did. I’m not cheap.” Nesta noticed his eyes shift uncomfortably when Eris looked down at the gift. “You don’t have to open it now.”

That only made Nesta more curious and eager. She delicately unfolded the gift wrap, making sure not to tear any of the paper. A small gasp escaped her when the gift was revealed.

In her arms was a copy of A Tale For the Stars to Remember. It was a love story between a human woman and a Fae Prince. Not only was this the first book ever written by Sellyn Drake, but it was one Nesta had practically memorized every page of as she read it over the years. She flipped through those familiar pages now, took in her favorite words. And this copy was signed! The inscription on the title page of the book included a message. A personalized message. For her. Sellyn Drakes knows who I am, Nesta thought with glee. Sellyn Drake touched this book. The message wished Nesta a happy birthday, and thanked her for her continued support in reading his novels. It is because of your dedication as a fan that I am where I am today, and I am honored to give you the first edition of this cherished story, it read before Sellyn Drake signed his name.

Nesta’s eyes widened at that. “The first edition? This is the first edition?” she asked in disbelief.

“I, um, know the author personally.” Nesta's eyes widened even more.

“What? H-how? How did you even know this was my favorite book?” Nesta asked incredulously. She closed her mouth when she realized it was hanging open.

“You, Emerie, and Gwyn talk about it all the time at the hospital.” Eris stated.

“You eavesdrop on our conversations?” Nesta glared at him, the revelation bursting her bubble momentarily. 

“You’re all very loud.” Eris glared right back. “It makes it difficult to get work done when the three of you are squealing over fictional characters.”

“You could’ve given this to me on Monday.” 

“I know,” was all he said.

Nesta broke into a grin as she delicately flipped through the pages again. 

“Thank you, Eris,” she said, looking back up at him. 

“You’re Welcome, Nesta.”

Something softened in Eris’ face as he looked at her. They had been staring at each other for only a moment but it felt much longer, and each second caused Nesta’s heart to speed up more and more. She begged her racing heart to calm down. She was sure he could hear it. A faint blush colored his cheeks. His eyes dropped to her lips, lingering there for a few seconds, and then looked back up at her. “Happy birthday, Nesta,” he whispered before getting up and leaving. It was only when he was gone that Nesta felt she was able to breathe normally again.

@nerisweek

[chunkypossum]

Do you have plans to participate in any fandom events upcoming besides Eris Week?

Fandom weeks are so much fun and I love being a part of them!

It takes me a long time to prep and plan while juggling other things that take up some of my free time. Between that and real life responsibilities I am making Eris week my priority right now because well… it’s ERIS!!!

I had a lot of fun stuff planned that I am praying to the gods I can get done in time and that’s enough to fill up my fandom schedule.

Some that I am SO SO SO DAMN EXCITED to see that I am selfishly bummed I won’t have time to throw something together for are:

- @nerisweek (if I can’t have Azris I want Neris) and

- @acotar-omegaverse-week (I desperately need more Azris mpreg….. acotar mpreg in general)

So I truly hope they are both a SMASHING SUCCESS so they come back next year and I can do something for them. (Plz plz plz plz)

With that said if a miracle happens and my Eris week stuff gets done I will be trying my best to bust out SOMETHING for these two specifically.

Along with those two, in 2025 I will be hoping to participate in @polyacotarweek @azrisweek @erisweekofficial and hopefully even @sjmvillainweek (dear Beron, have I got some ideas for you)

Are there any others I should be looking at?

[firstagent]

Digimon Top Tamer Tournament- Anime Bracket

The spirit of pointless March Madness-inspired brackets brings a pair of tournaments to determine the top tamer in Digimon! Spanning the length of the franchise from Adventure to Ghost Game, 132 characters have entered either the anime side or the video game/manga side. Following the poll earlier this week, first round matchups are primarily within each series, with Adventure getting isolated pods to winnow itself down a bit before being unleashed upon the rest of the world. Also when we say Adventure, both the original and reboot are included… with different round one matchups! Let’s get into it:

Courage Field is one of the 75% Adventure regions, which means a possible third-round match between original and reboot Taichi. But first one may have to fight his sister in round two while the other finally gets the scrap with Yamato we all sorely missed in 2020. In the movies pod, Wallace gets to meet Menoa Bellucci and Meiko awaits the winner of one of our four play-in games. These will open up today and will narrow the field down to 64 before the tournament begins next week. It’s a thing the actual March Madness does because money. Here it’s a way to make sure everything works.

The top of Miracle Space is Zero Two’s domain, and no doubt the Sweet Sixteen poll between its winner and the other half of Adventure will be hotly contested. But first note the two matches between future spouses. Since we haven’t seen the reboot kids as adults, feel free to headcanon a third or even a fourth in the 2020 matches with Takeru vs. Hikari and Mimi vs. Joe. Outside Adventure, the Lee family squares off in one of three sibling matches and Tagiru will see either friend or foe depending on the outcome of the second play-in game.

Because it’s the closest thing Takato has to a crest or spirit. Here we’ll see DATS operators Miki and Megumi battle in a play-in for the right to meet work husband Tohma. On a related note, Frontier’s Junpei is already slotted in against Izumi and Haru will see his best friend Yuujin. In Xros Wars land, the loose team of Ryouma and Airu face off while Zenjirou finally gets his rematch against Taiki. There are only two crossover matches in the first round, and this one between computer whizzes Rei (from Appmon) and Kiyoshiro (from Ghost Game) promises to be a treat.

Fire District goes straight to the gut as Frontier gives us one match between actual brothers and one between surrogate brothers. Another sibling fight awaits the Amanos Nene and Yuu. Speaking of siblings, two precocious little ones will meet in the other crossover match: Chika from Savers against Hajime from Appmon. Another Savers-Appmon battle will happen in round two and it will be a punch-fest if Masaru and Eri survive their first round opponents.

The First Four matches are now open and will run for a week! Once that wraps up, the Courage Field and Fire District brackets begin play on Monday with Miracle Space and Hazard Zone starting Tuesday. Polls will run for a week on both Tumblr and Twitter, with votes combined. The next round starts a day later. Also make sure to check the Video Game/Manga tournament running concurrently!

[lowkey-yyy]

pls spare some more mha and bsd crossover stuff 🙏🧎

been seeing old fics on ao3 abt dazai and eri and ur post kinda created a snowball abt it 💅

GLADLY ,,,

So like with MHA n BSD crossover I feel like my hc of Dazai hating kids is included here so for them to get Dazai near this random kid from a mission would be a battle and a half,, id say in this au Dazai would be around the kids age and likely at this point on living with Aizawa because he is a goddamn menace (affectionate) and cannot be trusted in the dorms on a daily basis, only visits.

So Aizawa bringing Eri home would be a big change for Dazai also the fact this kid realizes that he is just like her, right out the window Dazai goes, Aizawa is freaking the fuck out and a manhunt begins for Aizawa's mini clone. They have to look everywhere for him as he has gone full run away mode in their eyes and Aizawa doesn't know what triggered this full fight or flight response at seeing a child for 2 seconds.

Turns out he went to Kunikida's dorm and forced the blond to let him stay, they were found snuggling when Kunikida was not down for breakfast (as per his ideals) and they came to check on him, the kids had to call and reassure Aizawa that Dazai was safe and sound just asleep.

In general Aizawa 100% would have his hands full with Dazai thrown in but he is ready for a challenge, this child is insanely smart and talented just horrifically traumatized and mentally ill. Aizawa would have to fight for weeks to convince the kid not to sleep in Kunikida's room and at least try to meet Eri.

It was painfully awkward and both kids had no idea what to do but stand there while Aizawa was praying for a miracle, Dazai would be especially helpful in keeping a handle on Eri's quirk but if he was running from her there would be no chance of it happening. This new arrangement made a few more things known as Dazai was strangely defensive of Aizawa being his adult and his alone, he didn't want to share the teacher with some gross kid! He was a little mean to Eri for a while as the Heroes tried to learn more about Dazai, apparently he was territorial as he refused to let Eri see Kunikida, touch his stuff and would completely ignore her if he felt she was taking too much of Aizawa's attention from him....he also one time kicked her off the couch when she tried to insert herself into Dazai and Aizawa's bonding on the couch as the younger boy soaked up his mentor's reluctant affection...The couch incident as it was dubbed left a scolded Dazai curled up in Kunikida's bed and Aizawa covered in scratches and bandaids the next day...

From then on they had to work on slowly getting the two to a stable living condition and as others took Eri for sleepovers and days out Dazai perked up, he would reluctantly share stuff with her on the rare occasion but he liked Aizawa and didn't want to be replaced as his favourite kid even if he denied seeing Aizawa as a father figure.

Aka Aizawa becomes Dazai's filling for the void Oda left behind so he lashes out at a child to try and protect what he has.

As for the class? They are relentless in teasing Kunikida for Dazai sleeping in his room and the two cuddling, they think its adorable but Kunikida disagrees (he does agree but he is in deep denial) Dazai and Kunikida make an excellent team in the training and classes but the bandaged boy has a knack for trying to off-himself in training and Kunikida has to save him constantly, its also tough to get Dazai to do practically any normal kid things, he just doesn't get it and sometimes feels left out but the others try to include him all the time they can.

Kunikida also notices Dazai's unhealthy behaviours and tries to help when he can, he sneakily tricks Dazai into eating food in the cafeteria, forces him to wash up after gym and when Dazai stays in his room he drags the shorter boy into the sheets to snuggle up so he has to sleep.

Grr i love mha bsd crossover,,, i could think up ideas for days

[rex101111]

Doctor visits (and what purpose they serve)

Rating: T

Summery: Anji, Baiken and Eri visit the doctor for a perfectly routine check-up.

Faust grows very sick of two of them, for different reasons.

AN: Finally. FUCKING FINALLY I ON GOD FINISHED IT. THE FIRST ERI PIECE I DID IN A WHILE. AND ALSO A BAIKEN ANJI FIC. HECK YEAH. also first time writing Faust let’s hope I did okay. enjoy.

ALSO. 50TH STORY ON AO3. HECK YEAH. okay here you go.

Faust was sure nothing gave him as much trouble as giving children a physical. Not because of the children themselves, of course not. They were always nervous the first time, of course, but with a light dosage of silly faces and liberal application of cheap magic tricks, they always came around.

No, the children were never the problem, their parents on the other hand…

Whether they were nervous themselves, protective, or worst of all bored, they never failed to prove to be a headache during what was supposed to be a quick and easy check-up. And that was under normal circumstances.

And, as most things tended to be for Faust, today was in no way normal.

Firstly, the child. Forgetting any of her outstanding physical traits, Faust had seen many varieties of weird shit and a horn was comparatively mundane, she was quite unlike any child he had ever met before. She flinched and quaked at every metal object in his office, as if it was meant for her. She barely spoke a word since she sat on the medical bed, only mumbling her answers when he asked her questions about her health and diet.

She had signs of malnutrition (thin limbs, underweight, slightly pale skin), but they were clearly in remission for the past few months or so. She had faint signs of every form of child abuse he had ever had to deal with in his office, but all of them muted and in recovery, slow as it was.

And then, as he went on, she started to straighten her spine and look him in the eye…hole more directly. She still shook when he brought out his stethoscope, but it seemed controlled, somehow.

About half way through, he decided he’ll give her two lollipops, an extra brave girl deserved an extra reward.

…secondly the…well, he hesitated to say parent. If only because he had no idea how the person in question would react to the title. Baiken and Anji could never find their way to him quietly, it was always a big thing. He either had to stich up a life-threatening wound while Baiken cursed at him, or untie some mess Anji had somehow gotten himself into.

And now, they bring this interesting child into his practice. The bright red eyes made some very loud klaxons blare in his head, but every other thing about her gave him pause. She was dressed comfortably, in a ruby red kimono, and was hiding from him behind Baiken’s leg. Children being nervous around a stranger was normal, and Faust would readily admit that he was very strange indeed, but something about her posture and how tightly she had gripped the fabric, not to mention the hint of bandages peaking from her sleeves, made a different set of warning sirens sound off.

Anji kneeled down and patted the girl on the head, the gesture seeming to calm her, before he looked at Faust, “Doctor!” He cheerfully greeted, “so good to see you after such a long time!” He pointed towards the young girl like he was presenting something fantastic, “You see, me and Baiken had recently added a tiny companion to our merry little band,” he graciously ignored Baiken clicking her tongue, “and well, it just hit us the other day that we don’t know anything about her medical condition!” Anji stood up dramatically and puffed himself up for something no doubt very long winded, “so you see, we came here for a very important task! We need-“

“She needs a check-up,” Baiken had gruffly surmised, putting her hand on the child’s head, “you got a free slot today or what?”

Anji visibly deflated, one could almost hear the high pitched whine of rushing helium, before he cleared his throat, “uh, yes, that.” He shuffled his feet quietly while Baiken shook her head with a wry smirk and Eri looked between them, wide eyed and confused, “so…do you?”

As it so happened, he did, so now here he was, testing the little girl’s, Eri’s, reflexes while Baiken attempted to glare a hole in the side of his head, her sword clicking in and out of her scabbard with repeated flicks of her thumb.

“Better watch that hammer Doc,” the samurai growled lowly, narrowing her eye at him, “she makes a sound of pain and you stop feeling any,” teeth grinding against each other and an extra loud click, “permanently.”

The threat itself would have usually gone ignored. Faust was used to Baiken’s almost comical mistrust of medical professionals, he long figured that whatever cost her an arm and an eye soured her on the whole business and he could hardly begrudge her a bit of grumbling in light of that.

With Eri here, the threat seemed to hold significantly more weight. Every time he pulled some new device or tool she refused to let him anywhere near the girl until he told her exactly what it was and exactly what he intended to do with it to her. He had to repeatedly stamp down his frustration with her lack of knowledge, if she hadn’t made a habit of deliberately skipping physical checks, she would know nothing in this office could hurt a fly…well, unless it fell on the fly but that would be hardly fair to blame him on.

And honestly, it would have been heartwarming, if it didn’t make this check take up much, much longer then it needed to. That being said, he made a point of making as small an impact as he could on Eri’s knees, the legs kicking up lightly in response. “Very good dear.”

He got up and walked to his papers, sitting in a chair as he started writing down his newest data while pointedly ignoring Baiken continuing to glare at his back. As well as her reaching away from her sword to rub a single, slow circle on Eri’s back. A gesture that seemed to visibly and quickly calm the girl down.

For all the wonderful, odd things Faust had seen, the one thing he never imagined he’d see is someone that Baiken actually tried to comfort. Well, aside from the times Anji had brushed death’s door in his clinic and she held his hand while he recovered. But then again, that was an exception…and then again, Anji always seemed to be an exception when Baiken was concerned.

That is, apparently, until Eri showed up.

The dancer himself was waiting outside, no doubt yammering Fanny’s ear off, and the look he gave Faust as he handed over Eri and Baiken was…odd. There was something tense in Anji as he saw them off into the room, though that was quickly hidden as Faust decided to give Anji his full attention for a moment.

He pushed those thoughts aside to return to the matter at hand. He opened one last drawer, taking out a syringe. Considering how Eri reacted to everything else he pulled out…he almost feared her reaction to this more than Baiken’s. Almost.

Taking a deep breath, bracing himself for the worst, he turned around on his chair with the syringe in one hand, the other raising up in a gesture meant to calm, “alright dear we’re almost done.” Since his head was still attached to his neck, though Eri froze on the bed, he hazarded to keep going, “all I need to do is take a small blood-“

“No!”

Things happened very quickly after that, like dominos getting blasted by a leaf blower towards a very big and red button. Eri curled almost completely inwards on herself, shivering in panic and shuffling away.

Baiken looked at her in alarm, looked at him, looked at the needle, and then she glare-fast-deathSWORD!

Shink!

Through some miracle Faust did not dare to question, he somehow managed to pull out his clipboard and place it in the path of Baiken’s strike, and further, in a display of what could only be divine slapstick, the sword was stuck in the board instead of cleaving it clean in half and going on its merry way to do the same to his bag and face.

Though by the sounds of straining wood and low growls, along with the chair he sat in making some very distressing sounds of its own, that miracle wouldn’t last for long.

“Five seconds.” The samurai hissed while her arm quaked trying to continue its trajectory, ”explain the fucking needle.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, “blood tests!” He squeaked with no regard for his dignity, “need blood for blood tests! General health! Vaccinations! Any other minor health problem that can’t be determined with a non-invasive examination!” The explanation tumbled out of his mouth in a hurried panic, a flower bloomed at the top of his head, its petals wilting, as he smiled a rictus grin under his bag. “One point five milliliters! Tops! Promise!”

A few heart-attack inducing moments passed, and then Baiken finally, mercifully, retracted her sword. “Hmph.” She huffed tonelessly, before turning her head to the still shivering form of Eri on the medical bed.

Almost instantly, all the tension in Baiken’s shoulders vanished and she sighed. His head swirled in lingering panic trying to square this Baiken with the one he was used to, finding little success.

Turning his attention to the young girl, he finally gathered enough of his wits to feel very worried. “Oh dear…” He looked between Eri and Baiken, the latter stone like as she stared at the young girl, and raised his nearly sliced clipboard in her direction, “uh, should we call Anji or-“

“I’ll handle it.”

He felt like he got slapped by a fish, which was odd since May wasn’t due for a check-up for another week, “what?”

“I said I’ll handle it.” She repeated tiredly, sheathing her sword and walking towards Eri with an oddly calm stride. As she reached the bed, she carefully and slowly lifted her hand and touched Eri’s shoulder, the young girl flinching almost violently at the contact. “Hey, kiddo,” Baiken, undeterred by the reaction, whispered gently to the young girl. “Kiddo, it’s just me.”

The sheer difference compared to what was a person trying to rip him in half not a minute ago was nearly surreal, and he had never heard Baiken talk like that to anyone. And yet here she is, slowly rubbing circles on Eri’s shoulder with her thumb until the young girl took enough control of her hiccupping sobs to look up at her.

The relief Eri showed towards Baiken was even more surreal, he should probably check if he mistook his morning aspirin for something a bit more potent. “I-“ The halting voice of Eri knocked him out of his incredulity, the girl sniffing miserably. “I-I can’t…” Something dark and stomach-churning passed her expression, “It’s…it’s just like-“

“It isn’t.” Baiken declared quietly, her voice going tight, “The doc ain’t nothing like…” Her shoulders bunch up for a moment before relaxing again, “…he ain’t nothing like him Eri.” Baiken looks at him over her shoulder, still in his chair waiting to see if getting up would be worth the effort. “He’s a bit of a kook, but he’s good at his job…everything considered.”

Faust did his dignity a favor and choose to take that as a compliment.

“…I trust him.” Faust pushed down the minor elation at hearing that, Baiken was in the middle of something and a victory dance would probably undermine it. “I wouldn’t bring you here if I didn’t Eri.” She then put her hand on Eri’s head, mussing up her ivory hair. “I promise.”

He had the slightest feeling he was intruding on something, so he elected to mess with the buttons on his jacket when Eri started to wipe her face. Part of him was happy that Baiken could find someone to be this gentle with. All that anger building up in her was a recipe for both misery and high blood pressure.

Another part of him, a part that remembered a small, motionless body on an operating table, couldn’t help but…worry. Baiken was strong enough to defend herself…but could she-?

“Doc.”

He nearly ripped a button when he fell off his chair in surprise, though he quickly caught himself and stood up to his full height, nearly hitting the ceiling light. “Ye-“ He cleared his throat mid-squawk. “Yes?”

“Get another needle,” She continued, sitting on the bed next to a now calm, but still sniffling, Eri. “Do me before you get to her.” She raised her scarred eyebrow at him. “I’m due for physical, ain’t I?”

It took him a moment to catch on, but soon he relaxed his posture and clapped his hands in realization, “as a matter of fact you are, now that I think of it!” He went back to the drawer to take out another syringe. He then sat on his chair again, backwards, and wheeled himself before his two patients. He pulled out a handkerchief for Eri out of one of his pockets before he went on cheerfully, “And a lucky thing that you are Baiken, because this affords me to explain to Eri exactly what I need to do.”

He looked at Eri, another flower, healthier than the last one, blooming on his head as he leaned slightly towards her, “would you like that Eri? I promise it’s very interesting.”

Eri stared at him for a moment, her eyes lingering on the flower, before she sniffed one last time and wiped her face, nodding quietly.

“Wonderful!” He exclaimed, taking out a cotton swab and soaking it with rubbing alcohol, “first things first, we need to clean and sterilize the area where I intend to put the needle.” He wiggled his fingers rapidly and waved his head back and forth, “there’s all sorts of creepy crawly germs on your skin, and they have no business getting into your body, so we need to make sure they aren’t anywhere near the needle.”

Eri, to his eternal relief, actually giggled a little, her lips lifting up slightly in not-quite-a-smile. She watched him rub the swab on the crook of Baiken’s elbow, “why there?”

“Excellent question my dear!” Faust praised with a raised finger, before pointing to the blue vein in the crook, “you see, this vein is in an easy to access location, and is almost flush with the skin, so there’s no danger of putting the needle through anything important.” He then took the needle and began piercing Baiken’s skin. “And now…”

Eri watched him pull back on the back of the syringe, the tube filling with blood for a moment before he took it out and placed the swab on it.

Baiken, naturally, never made a sound or even twitched during the whole process. Didn’t so much as breath in to brace for it. If Faust hadn’t just finished extracting blood, and knew Baiken well enough, he would have been very concerned. Well, more concerned about her than he usually was at any rate.

“There! Now we just tape it down to stop the bleeding,” saying so he took out a length of clear tape out of another pocket and used it to hold the cotton swab in place. “And voila!” He stood on his feet and took a dramatic bow, “all finished.”

Eri’s eyes shone with admiration, getting caught up in Faust’s performance and clapping excitedly for him. He showed his gratitude for her applause with the required grace, taking another two bows. Baiken scoffed quietly but didn’t interrupt, Faust knew her well enough not to be offended by the fact she didn’t clap.

“Alright then.” Faust said finally, sitting back down on the chair and taking out the second syringe, “now for your turn dear.” He looked at her arms, covered from wrist to armpit in bandages, freshly changed even, and made an effort to not be obvious as he braced for what he would see underneath, “if you would please?”

He tried to make the request as gentle as possible, but still Eri’s mouth pressed into a thin line, her hands freezing mid-clap before grabbing her forearms tightly. She looked at him for a long moment, before looking aside at Baiken. The samurai smirked, the expression strangely warm, and nodded briefly.

Taking a breath to steady herself, Eri began to unravel her bandages with a determined look on her face.

What Faust saw underneath them made his skin crawl and his blood boil. The cruelty was evident on every scar, but what really got stuck in his craw was the precision. Whoever made those marks on Eri had a hand as steady as a rock, not a single mark of hesitation or second guessing. Such precision was born of either practice, or innate talent, and he wasn’t sure which option made him more sick to his stomach.

(He felt more than a little hypocritical, but if there was one thing he and Bald-the good doctor agreed on, was that such marks should never appear on children.)

“Doctor?” The small voice nearly made him gag from the memories it brought up, but he managed to take back control of himself quick enough for his vision to coalesce enough to see Eri looking up at him in concern, “are you okay? You were quiet for a long time…”

He opened his mouth before he closed it, his mind drawing a blank. He looked aside at Baiken, who raised an eyebrow at him, her look half dubious and half worried herself.

“I’m fine dear.” He finally managed, waving away her worry, “I just remembered something, don’t worry about it, alright?” He waited for her to nod, before returning it more energetically, “wonderful, so, back to business.”

The swab, “it’s a bit cold and might tickle a bit, okay?”

A quick, halting nod. Followed by a quick burst of laughter.

“Pump your fist a bit dear?”

Biting her tongue, she made an adorable effort of making and opening a fist. The way she did it made it clear that she never had to fight anyone, which made the strain in his chest unclench a bit.

“Right…” The needle in his hand began moving, “brace yourself dear…”

Despite the courage she showed before, some of it crumbled in the face of the sharp point so close to her flesh. There was no uncertainty in her eyes, she knew exactly how the needle would feel.

Faust breathed through his nose and counted to five.

Almost as if by instinct, Eri buried her face in Baiken’s nearby shoulder, her free hand grabbing on to the fabric much like she did when she first showed up. But her other arm stayed where it was, she didn’t try to pull it away or hide it from the doctor, she simply did as he instructed and braced herself.

Three. He’ll give her three lollipops.

He grabbed hold of her offered arm by the wrist, and brought the needle close to her vein, “deep breath,” Eri did as he said, and the second she finished taking in air he finally sticks the needle in. The girl flinches, but only digs her face deeper into Baiken’s shoulder with a restrained whine.

He takes out one point five milliliters, Baiken’s eye welded to the tiny measurement lines, and takes the needle out. “Almost done.” With professional efficiency, he stops the bleeding with a cotton ball, before covering it with a Band-Aid.

A pink one, with a picture of a unicorn on it.

“…really doc?” Baiken is half-way to smirking, but the tone of her voice makes it look like a grimace, “what, you got a stash of those?”

“Of all the things I do, this is what draws you up short?” He asks innocently, gesturing at himself. “Besides, I thought it would be appropriate.” Baiken opened her mouth before closing it and making a yeah good point shrug, Faust then turned to his patient, “now Eri, how are you feeling?” He tapped her wrist lightly, the Band-Aid smiling up at her as she looked at it, “any pain? Itching? Discomfort?”

The girl shook her head, “N-No, I’m okay.” She takes one last, lingering look at the unicorn, her lips twitching upwards for a moment, before picking up her bandages to re-wrap her forearms with practiced ease, and then looking at the doctor with a bit of apprehension, “i-is there anything else?”  

“Oh no,” The doctor waved off, standing up from his chair with a clap of his hands, “we’re all done for today, and you were very brave.” He leaned down to her eye-level, “and do you know what you get for being very brave?”

Eri looked at him doubtfully, before shaking her head.

Without a word, Faust pulled out three red, plastic covered lollipops, and handed them over to the wide-eyed girl, “a well-deserved reward, that’s what.”

“Damn straight,” Baiken agreed, patting the little girl on the back with a toothy grin, “good job kid, you’ve earned it.” Then her face did something that nearly made Faust’s eye twitch, it went stern, “just don’t eat ‘em all right way yeah? There’s gonna be dinner soon.”

Upon hearing Baiken, of all people, say something that stereotypically parental, Faust could feel his patience for the universe at large rapidly approaching its limit. He took Eri down from the bed and began ushering the two of them out of his office. “Alright, then let’s leave, we’ve kept Anji waiting for long enough.”

Eri unwrapped one of her rewards, stashing the other two in the clothing folds on her chest, and popped it into her mouth as they walked. Baiken looked down at her with an oddly soft expression that left her face as soon as they caught sight of Anji and Fanny.

The dancer was engaged in what seemed like a very exciting and very one sided conversation, the nurse smiling politely at him with all the energy of someone who has been on the rack all damn day and just wants his executioner to get a move on already. If Anji noticed, and he almost certainly did, he made a great show of not being bothered by it.

His focus shifted instantly when Eri and Baiken came close enough, Anji’s smile lighting up his face as he walked towards them, “Eri! So good to see you again!” He kneeled down to meet her gaze properly, “and I see you’ve a reward as well!” He put his hand on her head and warmly ruffled her hair, smile reaching his eyes, “good job dear.”

Faust found this sight slightly easier to stomach, Anji had always been the more emotionally open of the duo. But still, to see those two this attached to this little girl…something about it boded ill, and he wasn’t sure why.

“Shorry it took sho long…” Eri twiddled her thumbs with the lollipop still in her mouth, “it was kinda shcary…”

“Oh don’t worry about it sweetheart.” Anji waved off with a chuckle, “I had some very pleasant company to pass the time with.” He turned around to smile at Fanny, “isn’t that right, miss nurse?”

“Oh yes Mr. Mito.” Fanny nodded cheerfully while writing something on a nearby clipboard, “it was a very engaging conversation.” Anji nodded back, but as soon as he turned his head to look back at Eri, the nurse lifted the clipboard to show what she wrote, the polite smile unmoving on her face.

It read, in very fancy but firm writing: “Never leave me alone with him again. Ever.” The word “ever” was underlined. Four times. With a separate, red marker.

Faust mentally penciled tomorrow off for Fanny, she’s earned her own little “lollipop”, so to speak. “I’m happy you were patient with us Mr. Mito,” He began, before he sighed, “but I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to wait a bit longer.”

Eri simply blinked at him innocently still busy with her treat, while Baiken and Anji snapped their gazes to him in unison, like a pair of hawks on a hunt, shoulders tense and eyes sharp.

“Nothing serious!” He was quick to assure, the two relaxing only slightly, “It’s simply that Ms. Baiken reminded she is well past due her own checkup.” He turned to Baiken with a smile under his mask that was perfectly professional, “isn’t that right, miss Baiken?”

The samurai’s stare quickly morphed into something that screamed me and my big mouth before she bared her teeth and shook her head, “you know you ain’t going anywhere near me, yeah?”

“I am fully aware yes.” Faust nodded diplomatically, “but the fact remains that you do need a check-up, so I am offering a compromise,” he gestures towards his ever-loyal nurse, “I think that you will find Nurse Fanny to be entirely professional, and as a female physician she would know better what you would find uncomfortable or not.” He clears his throat. “Better than me, at any rate.”

 Baiken looked at Fanny, who had jumped to attention with a slightly overeager smile on her face at being called to action, a bit dubiously, but before she could voice her misgivings, Anji jumped in with a hand on her shoulder, “excellent idea doctor!” He squeezed her shoulder with a smile that was only slightly sharp at the edges, “if we’re here and worried about our health, why not make the most of the visit?”

Baiken shoved her elbow into her partner’s stomach with a scowl, “I don’t need-“

“After all,” Anji continued smoothly, with one arm rubbing where the elbow had impacted while he smiled a bit more sharply, “since we put Eri through this rigmarole, why shouldn’t we do the same?” Anji leaned a bit more into Baiken’s space, and while the dancer while still smiling Faust was certain the samurai began to sweat a little, “all in the interest of health, of course.”

After a moment of heated glaring, Baiken visibly sagged with a sigh, “fine, whatever.” She leaned out of Anji’s grasp, the dancer letting her go easily, and turned to Fanny, “alright nurse, let’s get this over with yeah? I got other shit to-“ A tug at her kimono stopped her, and she looked down to see Eri grasping the white cloth with a worried look on her face, “…don’t worry kiddo.” She mussed Eri’s hair a bit, “I’m just making noise, I’ll be back out before-“

“Can I come with you?” Eri interjected quickly, as if saying it any slower would drain her courage, “I-I mean, I was scared at the doctor’s, s-so, I want to be there with you too.” She worried the white cloth in her hands and looked down at her feet, “y-you know, i-if you get scared.”

The idea of Baiken being afraid of something as mundane as a checkup, for all of her bluster, was just this side of ludicrous, but Faust managed to hold on to his laughter long enough for Baiken to sigh quietly again, much softer this time, turning to Fanny with a light smirk, “is it okay if I bring a guest?”

Fanny smiled warmly as she opened the door to the examination room, “of course! Little Eri won’t be a bother at all, please!” She motioned for the two to come in, “let’s get started, shall we?”

Baiken scoffed, “ya hear that kid? You’re my backup.” She smiled with her teeth at the little girl, who nodded excitedly at the gesture instead of cowering in fear as most would in response to one of Baiken’s smiles, and started following her guardian as they entered the room.

Anji spoke up, “maybe I can-“

“You stay here,” Baiken stabbed at him irritably, “your bull earned you an extra half hour of boredom, now sit.” She glared him down into the nearest plastic chair, and turned back to the room…before sparing her nurse one last doubtful look, “…you don’t still have that huge-ass needle, right?”

“Oh don’t worry miss Baiken!” Fanny reassured as she began to close the door, “I only use that for emergencies.”

The last thing of Baiken to be seen before the doors closed is her face morphing into the very picture of deep concern.

And thus, the two men were left to themselves. Anji went to a nearby chair, sat on it very slowly and deliberately, and turned to Faust with a very thin smile, “you have the look of a man with a lot on his mind, doctor.” Anji’s smile grow wider but stayed as thin as paper as he patted the pale yellow plastic chair to his left in invitation, “how about you have a seat and you can unload all of those worries to your old friend Anji, eh?”

Anji Mito was certainly very friendly, of that Faust would gladly attest, but his friend? That was stretching it a bit, “I’ll stand, Mr. Mito, thank you.” He took out the vial of blood he took from Eri out of his pocket and moved it in his palm for a moment, “and yes, I have a great number of worries to bring to your attention.”

Anji stared at him for a moment, before something in his eyes shifted and changed, the angle of his gaze sharper than it was a moment ago. Wordlessly, he motioned for Faust to begin, his smile painted on.

Faust knew subtlety would be a waste of time, so he went straight to it. “She’s a Gear.” Not a question, but simply a statement of fact. He looked down at the vial, the color in it shifting in the florescent light of his practice in ways that normal blood simply did not. “Is That Man involved in this?”

“Ha!” Anji barked out harshly, clapping his hands once, “well, aren’t we perceptive! Good catch doctor!” His smile opened up and showed a few teeth, “did the red eyes and horn give it away?”

Faust clenched his free hand but kept his calm, “answer the question Mr. Mito.”

Anji was quiet for a moment, before his smile shrunk slightly and he shook his head, “no, I’m intimately familiar with his work. Trust me, Asuka had nothing to do with this.” He laughed a little nervously, “if he did, we’d be on the run from Mr. Badguy right now.”

Faust sighed, conceding the point, “fair enough.” He moved to his desk to shuffle a few of the notes he’s made about Eri during her check-up. “What information do you have about where she came from?”  

“Next to nothing.” Anji answered almost too cheerfully, “the circumstances of us meeting Eri sort of…put a damper on any effort to find out about her past.” He coughed into his palm, “it was part of the reason I brought her to you doctor.” A smile as sweet as arsenic stretched his face, “would it be too much trouble to ask you to send that blood sample to Illyria?”

Faust rubbed his forehead over his paper back with a weary sigh, “I’ll try to get it to Paradox directly.” He was beginning to understand Baiken’s short temper more and more, “…regarding those circumstances…” Anji’s smile slipped right off, “…I’m guessing she came into your company from…the person who gave her those scars?”

Anji blinked at the doctor for a moment, and then smiled again, this time a bit more honestly, “yes, those would be the broad strokes.” He laughed a bit coldly, something in his eyes far away, “I’d rather keep the bloody details to myself, if you wouldn’t mind.” He looked at Faust from the corner of his eye, tone reassuring, “purely for your own safety of course, plausible deniability and all that.”

Faust grit his teeth, but decided to let that particular battle die in favor of more pressing concerns, “how long have you been traveling with Eri?”

Anji straightened his posture and nodded briefly, “six months.”

“Ah, how taller has she grown in that time?”

“Not an inch.”

Faust nearly fell backwards from shock. Of all the things Gears were known for, rapid maturation and growth was foremost of them. Yet Eri looked no older than 7 years of age. “…stunted growth?” He muttered in disbelief, cold sweat on his brow. “In a Gear?”

“Another reason to come to you, specifically.” Anji answered plainly, his smile going flat and his gaze burning a hole in the wall in front of him. “I’m no medical expert, but something tells me those scars might have something to do with it.”

Faust gripped his table nearly hard enough to dent the metal, only barely keeping a grip on his control with a few deep breathes and a glass of water. Anji politely looking away just long enough for Faust to pull his mask up to drink.

After a moment, Faust walked towards Anji and finally took the seat he was offered next to him, sitting down heavily with his head in his hands and his knees drawn up to his ears.

Anji waited without a word, his eyes glued to the door his two girls had vanished behind, but Faust could still feel his gaze, somehow, boring a hole into him as well. Faust shook his head again and straightened up, looking down at Anji, “there was another wound, on her shoulder.” Faust stopped for a reaction, but only got a raised eyebrow, “it was fresher than the rest, what happened?”

“Why didn’t you ask Baiken?”

“It was a closed, clean wound, it was not my place to ask unprompted questions of my patients.” Faust explained tensely, “And I didn’t want to upset Eri besides,” that earned him an agreeing hum from Anji at last, “how did it happen?”

“A few opportunistic young men thought it a good way to earn a lot of money in a very short amount of time by throwing themselves at Baiken and myself,” Anji shrugged, though he stiffly looked away as he did, “…poor Eri got caught in the middle.”

“Assassins.” Faust bit out between his teeth, “Eri got caught in the middle of a fight you had with assassins.”

“She was kept safe the whole time.” Anji tossed straight back, finally meeting the doctor’s gaze again. “It ended well, like it always does, doctor.”

“You and I both know that’s a load of nonsense, Mr. Mito.” Anji’s eyebrows knitted together and his lips drew into a thin line. “Does Eri know how to defend herself?”

Anji laughed, utterly mirthless, “have you seen her? You want us to teach that girl how to fight?”

“Are you and Baiken going to change your lifestyle?” Faust forged on, his nerves on edge, flashes of a bloody surgical table and a horribly small body bag on his mind, “if not, are you simply going to continue to expose Eri to all this danger? Do you take her out on bounty hunting missions with you?” He nearly pressed his face to Anji, who simply stared at him stone faced, “that girl is completely dependent on you two, have you any concern for her safety?”

“Doctor.”

Anji Mito vanished.

In his place was a man with his face, but not his eyes. They were the same color and shape, but they suddenly threatened to swallow Faust whole with the sheer emptiness he saw there.

There was a hand on the collar of his shirt, pulling him along as the man that was not Anji Mito stood up from his chair. Not a trace of the flighty dancer remained, and in his place was the man that spent a significant period of his life hiding in shadows and whispers.

He spoke, and there was the hint of dried blood on his tongue as he did, “as you said, that girl is dependent on the two of us,” the man narrowed his cold, empty eyes, “be certain, we know that very well, knew it from the moment she came into our care.” The hand on his collar tightened its grip, “make no mistake, every effort we’ve made since then had been to ensure that she is safe, that she is happy.”

Finally, something filled those abyssal eyes, anger.

“That girl is everything we could have been, that girl has a future not yet stained with blood and secrets, eyes not yet worn and hollow, and I intend to make sure it stays that way.” He bared his teeth, and Faust felt like he was facing a dangerous animal, “so don’t you dare think for a moment that either of us would treat her callously.”

Finally, impossibly, Faust found his tongue, “you think you can protect her from everything?” He gripped the hand clenching his collar, “with the life you lead? Are you that delusional?”

“With all due respect,” the animal growled, something vicious and cruel crawling up his throat, “you are not the first person I’d ask regarding the safety of children,” his heart leapt into his throat, but the man kept going, “you are hardly the expert there, Doctor Baldhead.”

It took every inch of restraint he had, but somehow Faust kept from pulling a scalpel from his pocket to slice open the throat in front of him.

His point apparently made, the man that was not Anji Mito released Faust, and sat back down without a word to look at the door again. A few breathless moments passed as Faust looked down at him and got his breathing back under control, finally letting out a sigh, “…I will admit, my judgement is clouded from…past experiences,” he shook his head, “…but I stand by what I said, you can’t protect her forever.”

Another heavy moment passed, nearly crushing the both of them…before Anji Mito returned with a weightless laugh, “no, I suppose not.” He looked up at the doctor, a mirthless smirk on his face, “but we can protect her long enough to make a path for her to follow.”

Faust looked down at the man for a moment, shaking his head before beginning to walk to his desk, “what path would that be?” He reached his desk, and turned around to lean on it to look at Anji, “because from where I sit, there’s two.” He held up one finger, “one; she stays be your side, which means you need to teach her all she needs to know to be able to keep pace with you two.” He grits his teeth, “and all the bloody details that would include.”

Anji met Faust’s gaze evenly, but his hands gripped the cloth of his lap.

“And second,” he held up the second finger, “…is that you let her go, put her somewhere safe, where she would never need to raise a hand to harm anyone, that she would never need to protect herself again…” He stopped, something finally clicking to place, “…and never see you two again.”

On Anji Mito’s nearly inscrutable face, something like sadness passed for a brief moment. It was gone as soon as it appeared, and another paper smile took its place, “whatever path she’ll have, it will have to be her choice, wouldn’t you agree, doctor?” Another mirthless chuckle, “from what little I know of her life before we found her…she’s had enough of her life dictated for her, methinks.”

Faust sympathized with his nurse, because after that relatively short conversation with Anji Mito, he felt ready to curl into a ball and sleep the rest of the week away. He could have let that conversation end there, let himself end the day with at least a bit of sound mind, but something was eating at him, a question he knew he had no right to ask. That was utterly unprofessional of him to even consider asking.

But, then again, he’s been plenty unprofessional today, what’s a bit more?

Taking a breath to brace, he once more dunked his head into the shark tank that was Anji Mito’s headspace. “The person who gave Eri those scars…” He started, his grip on the table tightening, “���do you know anything about them?”

“Oh? Him?” Anji asked innocently, as if he hadn’t given that a thought in ages, “ah, I wouldn’t worry too much doctor.” The way he said that, and the smile it came with, only made Faust worry more, “last I saw of him, he was laying on a street somewhere, bleeding out of a hole between his eyes.”

Faust blinked at Anji, whatever tension and anger he gain from examining Eri deflating like a particularly sad whoopee cushion.

“I’d put him out of your head, doctor.” He turned to him with a smile as bright as a flickering florescent bulb, a hint of that emptiness back in his gaze, “I know I did.”

Before Faust could question-no, scratch that-call bullshit on that, the door to the examination room opened, revealing a slightly annoyed Baiken, a satisfied Fanny, and Eri still sucking on her lollipop.

“There they are!” Anji exclaimed, his cheer back on his face in full force, and Faust could even believe it was genuine this time, as he went to Baiken and Eri, “so! How did it go? Any sharp or metal things go into anywhere unpleasant?” He was rewarded with a smack upside the head from a very unamused Baiken, which only got a laugh out of him, “sorry, sorry, I couldn’t…” He stopped of a sudden, looking at Baiken’s face in confusion, and Faust took a second to see he was looking at Baiken’s mouth.

Or, more specifically, the small plastic stick hanging out of her mouth.

Anji blinked at her, “…what-?”

Baiken grabbed the stick, and pulled out a bright red lollipop.

“…how?”

“Eri gave it to me.” Baiken said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “said I earned it for being…” her mouth twitched to stop from becoming a smile, “…brave.”

Anji blinked in surprise, first at Baiken, and then at Eri, who nodded resolutely to show she was perfectly serious. After a moment, a smile slowly forming on his face, too slowly to be a conscious effort, and Anji laughed with more warmth than Faust had heard from him all day, “well! Can’t argue with that!” He bent down to look, and smile, at Eri at eye level. “Good call there Eri.”

The blinked before looking down with a bright blush. Baiken ruffled her hair while Anji grasped her shoulder.

And Faust understood the anger completely. Understood the insult of doubting these two.

But still, with a clear mind, he, as always, stood be his prognosis.

“Mr. Mito.” He called out, the man still leaning down as he turned to look at him, “I would like you to keep our conversation today in mind, alright?”

Anji, to his credit, only glared for a short second before he nodded, “of course, doctor.”

“Huh?” Eri looked between the two, “what did you talk about?”

“My own check up dear.” Anji lied smoothly as silk, “I set it a few months from now since I had one not too long ago,” he ruffled her hair again, “don’t worry about it.”

“…Okay.” Something shone in the girl’s eyes, but she went back to her treat with a quiet hum.

Anji stood up, met Baiken’s razor sharp gaze, and mouthed “later” silently before he turned to the doctor, “well! I think we’re all done for today!” He put a hand on Baiken’s shoulder to turn her towards the door, “say goodbye to the doctor Eri.”

Turning to Faust and Fanny, she waved goodbye in a way that made the doctor want to cry, before running to Baiken left side to grab her hand as they left.

Anji and Faust shared one last, slightly loaded stare before they stepped out the door.        

(Faust closed his practice earlier than usual that day. Fanny didn’t question it, or the way he fingered the bottom of his paper bag, or how stiff and deep his voice had gotten near the end of the day.

She helped him take his medicine, and he went to bed, images of not-himself standing above a perfectly clean surgery table, waiting for his next, his last, patient swirling in his mind as he slept.

Baiken slapped Anji upside the head. She didn’t know why, exactly, she just had the feeling he had earned it.

Anji didn’t argue with that.

Eri offered him her last lollipop, but he refused, he hadn’t been brave for a long while. He wanted to earn it properly.)

[zuffer-weird-girl]

A/n:This has been on my drafts for too long now. Is not one of my best works but is certainly something that I thought a lot when I first read the chapter and comung to understand Pops and Kai relationship as father and son. I hope this not come as petty or ahitty like some works of mine because this one I meant it to be... special.

Allert for murder and suicide mentions

Only by a miracle

"Why if I do even need to ask for? Just bullshit ..." he asked, barely bothering to look in your direction while he watched the news ... at least try to pretend he cared.

After the raid of the hassaikai, the league of villains; especially because of Shigaraki; taking his arms, taking away what little significance was left for the poor man, Chisaki had simply put everything aside ... his interest in things and knowledge, his goal of "cleaning the world", even of at least care about his physical and especially mental state ... the reason why you two are having this conversation right now. The only thing that he seemed to not have lost hope or interested thankfully was you.

"I just thought that maybe it was something to help you ... "you answered quietly, gently approaching and sitting right next to him" a psychologist may be a good idea especially after everything ... happened. That co-worker of mine can help and- "

"With all due respect (Y / n), I'd rather rot in Tartarus than accept someone else's help ... After all," he sighed, an empty, melancholy look in his golden eyes "that's what I deserve . "

"Stop." you immediately spoke right away, eyes burning with the urge to cry at his words. "Please, we already had this conversation ... you don't deserve it." leaning your head on his shoulder you can feel how tense his body was but soon relaxed ... as if he had actually released a weight from his shoulders.

 

sighing, your boyfriend finally seemed to slowly return to the real world than the torment that had turned his head as he looked at you.

"You're going on yours at least I hope." you nodded, gritted your teeth and widened your eyes when you saw the familiar green hair of the boy responsible for literally almost beating Kai.

You tried to take control before Kai saw it but already feeling his body tensing and the way his shoulders started to shake you already knew that he had already seen the boy.

You barely remedy what you at least think of the boy named Deku ... upset and irritated because he beat your boyfriend along with the other almost hero Lemillion beat his boyfriend or pity and fear if Chisaki happened to find him. As much as he no longer had his arms, he was still strong ... you have already witnessed several tantrums and breakdowns of his in the last few monthswhwre he had torned the small apartment you two lived now down ... his depression and panic attacks and paranoia were horrible .... but with sure what hurt you the most was when he woke up from a nightmare ... feeling a torturous pain in the place where his arms were supposed to be ... but all this was psychological pain. kai knew how much it affected you, and knowing that you were too stubborn to leave him, he insisted that you do therapy instead of him.

"Let's...turn this off." you mumbled before taking the remote and turning off the tv after turning to him and massaging his shoulders until he saw that he had calmed down at least a little.

"You know ... how about you come with me tomorrow?" you commented, happy that you had finally unlocked him a little "The same place where my therapist is where he is hospitalized and-"

"No ... he would be the last person who would at least enjot my presence angel." you frowned, your hope to at least pay a visit to the poor elderly in a coma fails again. You knew the amount of guilt and sorrow Chisaki carried of putting Pops on a coma, but behind that cold facade and th walls he had constructed, you knew better... You knew that he his intentions truly weren't on the bad side, but even you had to agree he had gone way too far on his path.

Sighing, you stood up, making Kai look i to your eyes questionably before you kissed his cheek lovingly mumbling that you were going to make his favorite for the dinner, smiling sadly at how he sighed and leaned on you, mumbling how he didn't deserves you and such things.

You went to the kitchen before jumping at your notification on your cellphone and beaming happilh at your door frame.

"Ne ne! Hon!" You put the box you just had received and openes for him to see, hoping to see him lighten up a bit.

You smiled and almost teared up when he gave one look at the box and let out a weak chuckle, looking at you with adoration.

"Seems like I wont be needing feeding anymore." He commented as you jumped on him to cage his frame on a hug as tears threteaned to spill from your eyes.

That was the first time in months Chisaki had come close to even smilling... things were slowly starting to get better... but yet, you knew it was never going to return back the way it was... and the worst?

You knew that not only you felt something was missing.

~

The next day you woke up feeling your boyfriend's arms prototics holding you close to your chest, the back of your neck feeling the warmth of his breath while his lips lightly brushed your skin. You mumbled to yourself seeing the schedule and gently raising the fake arms for you to slip past them to get out of the bed. Uou smiled when you saw and heard how Chisaki complained in his sleep at the loss of your warm, getting close to him and giving him a kiss first on his temple then lightly on his lips, stroking his hair for good measure.

Getting ready and leaving a note for Kai to see when he wakes up, you left your apartment for another appointment with your therapist ... after of course going to a flower shop.

~

"Good luck with your father-in-law, young lady"

"Thank you doctor" you responded by leaving the office and walking through the hospital corridors, avoiding the eyes of doctors and nurses when you passed and went to the room where he was. You entered with the permission of the secretary, your heart and body always seemed to freeze when seeing Pops in the vegetative state, machines saving him from death but not bringing him back from the coma that Kai had put him in.

"Good morning Pops." you whispered, exchanging the dead flowers on the table next to the machines to replace them with the new ones you had bought before your consultation "I came as every time."

Taking a chair and dragging it to the side of the bed you sat down with a sigh before smilling at the sleeping elder.

"... we miss you. All of us, both subordinates and me and ... Kai." you bit your lip before you started saying "I don't know if you can really hear me every time I say this, but I swear to you that Kai just wanted to make you proud... Pops if you knew how much he suffers and regrets doing this to you ... " you wiped the tears from your eyes with the back of your sweater. You looked at the old man's face ... resting on the hospital bed for months now.

"Doctors say that even at your age you are a fighter." you giggled before returning your attention "... I tried to bring him here but he feels so guilty that he has no courage to come face you again .... please if one day you wake up again, forgive him, please... you were the only one he trusted and respected since childhood ... "you sighed before taking the bag and giving the elderly a small and careful hug as he used to do while he was awake" I ask a thousand pardons for him... I’ll be back next week Pops, maybe I can get him to come here next time! " you giggled sadly before frowning. Saying a little goodbye, you went towards the door ... but when you touched the maceneta you froze, hearing the sound of the mattress twinks and the fabric of the sheets moving ... looking slowly over your shoulder you gasped in astonishement and shock, bringing your hands to cover your mouth while your eyes watered when you saw tired gray eyes and the little smirk that the elderly person gave you in your bed even with numerous tubes in it.

"How good it is to see you again my dear. How long have I been away?"

~

"Sir is truly a miracle that you woke up from this coma honestly." The doctor said in astonishment as you awkwardly finsighed mumbling explaining all what had happened during the elder's absence.

"The shie hassaikai members are ALL on jail?" Pops asked calmly but you cringed hard at seing how wide were his eyes as you nodded.

"We're... trying to pay Chro- I m-mean Kurono! To get out of prison though... is a start." You clenched your jaw as Pops muttered something to God as he burried his face on one of his hands.

"Well." The doctor smiled at you both as she made her exit "You still have to spend one week to check up, but soon you will be able to go away wuth your..?"

"Daughter in law." The elder sighed, finally lifted his head up to show his gratitude to the medic before she left. Looking back at you "How is my granddaughter? Eri? I suppose you didn't know about the plan that boy had on his mind."

"Y-yeah.. She is on the hands of the hero Eraserhead, as far as I know of, the U.A took her custody to help her to control her quirk for real this time." You grabbed his hand and squezzed assuringly "She is on good hands Pops. I promise you."

"For once." He sighed before giving you a smile. Your phone buzzed and you excused yourself to pick it up.

"Hey hon.." you spoke as Pops furrowed hsi eyebrows, mentioning with his hands that he also wanted to hear.

"Where are you? Your apointment should had ended by one half an hour ago?" The nonchantly voice of Chisaki made you worry about how Pops body seemed tense as he montioned for you to jot speak a thing about him.

"U-uh... it got longer?"

"You're shit at lying, you know that right?" Pops smirked while you blushed a bit.

"Sorey sorry.." you rubbed the back of your neck a bit "I-I went to that place where they sell those sweets you like, that's all."

You heard a sigh and frowned at how tired your boyfriend sounded as he spoke on a vulnerable tune you had grew used to on the past few months... but Pops widened his eyes, almost not recognizing the vouce behind that cellphone.

"Just hurry up and get back home... I feel like one of those is about to come again.." he spoke as if that were a burden, you hummed immediately promising him to be home soon before saying how much you lobed him and hanging up.

"One fo those?"

"For these past few months he had gotten depression and some PTSD attacks..."

"Hironic." The eldery sarcastically chuckled with bitter as he leaned up his back on the mattress "He was the one to put my grandauther through hell, put me on a coma, ruin the whole bussines of my family and now, he is the one with depression." You furrowed your eyebrows at that. Taking a breath in, knowing that was something that could happen you talked back.

"I know the things he had done were wrong Pops... but believe me when I say he just wanted to-"

"(Y/n) my dear. As much as I know how generous you are, you can't actually try to be on Chisaki's side this time." He glared at you as you gulped "I lost count on how much I tried talking him out of those absurd ideas of his, but as always a stubborn one, he continued on and left the path I tried to teach him for years."

"Well, with all respect sir, you cant totally blame him if he was raised by a mafia boss no less." You grumbled as the elder narrowed his eyes at you for the first ever time.

"I taught him manners. He was the one who didn't followed them. Preffering to take this dark and horrific path. The yakusa is superior to villains and what he does? Becomes one of them despite fighting others that we are not? Is he bipolar now?!"

"Pops please just listen to me... We both know he suffered before you took him in, he feels in debt with you ever since that day."

"And he retributes me with this. Putting me on a coma."

"Pops I-"

"Stop defending him kid!" He yelled and you flinched away from him in shock "That man put my own grandaughter through hell and used her as some lab rat experiment, and now not only i lost my own daughter but her as well!"

Silence consumed the room... you felt at the verge of crying before taking a huge breath in determination. You wont let him, you wont let the man who created the one you love speak like that without you giving him a reason.

"Kai done these things, thats for sure ... but his whole life he felt trapped by the fact that he never got to repay you. He had absurd ideas for that? Of course, I will not cover up his errors. But I am not going to let even you Pops speak like that. Since you already knew he wasn't listening to you, why didn't you take him away from Shie Hassaikai's work and just put more pressure on him saying that he would, one day, be the new boss? Your sucessor no less?! " he remained his glare to his hospital room window "... he just wanted you to be proud of him .. so he still protects Shie Hassaikai's honor ... Pops do you even know that he lost only his arms still fighting to give you something?!" You cried as the old man opened his eyes wide and finally looked back at you "For the past months he and I have been in our personal hell, he has nightmares every night! Do you even happen to remember that you had to comfort him the first night he slept at your house? imagine the attack only ten times worse! do you even know how it was to see him begging me for me to kill him ?! "you sobbed while the man was still in shock to hear what you said and your state.

"my dear why are you still going through this?" he said almost breathlessly while you wiped your tears, almost leaving the room.

"Because I love your son ... and I know he loves you in his own weird and antisocial way ... Please I know that it is very difficult to forgive him, but I beg Pops ... try it... both of you only have each other now...." you sighed and left the room without even saying goodbye to him or the nurses asking if you were okay.

~

Two weeks had passed after that. You remained a secret that Pops woke up from his coma to prevent Chisaki to fell on one of those nerve train racking thoughts of his...

"You win this ever time, is not fair." You whined as your boyfriend smiled, replacing the many pieces back on the shoji board back again.

"So why do you even still insist on playing it then with me no less dearest?" He asked, not exactly expecting an answer before he froze at the way you kept looking at him with love.

"Because is your favorite game. And I love seing you happy while playing it." You giggled at the immediate scoff to hide his blush as he closed his eyes, his black mask preventing you to show his smile as he mumbled an affectionate "crazy woman".

You giggled even more at that. Things were surely better than they could have been. Thanks to your teraupist you were also able to help your own boyfriend... his attacks had stopped and you never felt more relieved to see that the bags from beneath his eyes were slowly dissapearing.

"Ugh... im hungry!!!" You whined loudly again, rolling over to lay your head on his lap as he looked down at you with an arched eyebrow.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Take out." You proclaimed before he flipped your nose.

"Absolutely not. Is disgusting." He growled as you whined and put your bottom lip out.

"One time it won't hurt! Pleaseeee???? Please my devil??" You smiled mentally at seing the tip of his ears going red "please my handsome cutie softie delicious-" he hushed you with one of his fake finger son your lips as he growled.

"Fine fine, have your way brat. Jesus Christ you're so spoiled." He offered you one of his last used, that the police couldn't track, credit cards as you lowered his mask to kiss him.

"Says who again?" You giggled before sighing in bliss when he brought you close, you stradling his lap as you circled his neck with your arms, contained your noises as he trailed his kisses down to your jaw.

It has been so long since you two had-

You both growled when your cellphone ringed, but Kai still stood on his track as he mumbled in your ear for you to pick up... although he still continued to carres your thighs as he vould feel them again and lay kisses in the crook of your neck.

You widened your eyes though whem you saw that it was from the hospital... you had beem visiting and making conpany to Pops even despjte the argument you had gotten to him, but now it seemed he was free to go... shit. You couldn't hide this anymore from Kai.

Although you gasped back to the current reality when you felt a certain... hardness on his lap.

"If you tell me you have to go Im setting this place on fire." He mumbled in your neck as you whined. That surely must be the worst cockblock you two had in your relationship. You nodded as he growled again, making yourself out of his laps, he let you go hesitantly.

"What is even about this time?" He said nonchantly as he adjusted his hair back.

"I... have to go to the hospital."

"Is that therapist of yours again?" He asked in annoyance as you left in a hurry, crossing his arms and auspecting at your attitudem

"I-It will be quick!"

"You didn't answer my-" and the door closed while he sighed loudly looking up at yhe ceilingx having to deal with the problem you had caused down there "Fucking brat." He growled out loud standing up with a hiss to go to the shower.

~

The drive back from the hospital was so awkward... the pregnant silence making you go crazy as Pops remained quietly the entire ride.

"I thought a lot about what you said once my dear." You yelped and looked at him in surprise.

"Eh?"

He smiled before looking at you with a serene expression.

"I was never once a good father example for both my actual daughter or Chisaki. Part of me didn't want to believe, but Kai needed more than just my help after I took him in... Guess he took on my stubborness."

"N-no, that was not what I meant-"

"Relax kid... I just recalled what you said back there when you left. There is nothing left for me asides from trying to at least solve things with Chisaki... I cant thank you enough, both of me and him weren't on the right side, so is not on place of me to judge him... specially when I tortured a childhood friend of my once."

... wait whAT-?!

The train stopped and you hesitantly took Pops hand when he offered it to help you stand up.

You two walked before you stopped by the front of your apartment complex as you looked at Pops uncertainly, but he only nodded with a smile.

"Is time for me to speak with him after who knows how long."

You shakily entered your apartment as coincidentally Kai emerged from the tiny hall, drying his hair with a towel, already dressed on his casual clothes as he opened one of his eyes to look at you.

"Better have a good explanation or else punishment is going to be extra harder." He smirked devilish and you would have gotten turn on if it weren't from right after he widened his amber eyes as if he had saw a ghost as Pops entered, crossing his arms as he looked back at Chisaki.

"Hello, Chisaki." He spoke seriously before smilling at how the man he created for years now seemes as a fragile boy who had been caught for doing sonething silly.

You aproached Chisaki slowly before taking his hand, making him look at you to remind him it wasn't one of his paranoia events... Pops was there. Smilling at him.

It was real.

The elder aproached, a small still present on as he looked at Chisaki.

"You seem way better than the last time I saw you. I'm glad to see that."

He couldn't speak, his throat was sore, it hurted too mcuh to even breath near this man again. He knew what had happened, so why on hell was this old geezer smilling at him iut of all people?! He could feel his eyes start to burn as he clenched on your hand before flinching violently when a hand that wasn't yours rested on his shoulder.

"I'm not mad at you. Is all in the past, I know your intentions weren't what happened... and I forgive you, Kai." He pulled Chisaki for a hug and the man himself tensed accidentaly letting go of your hand and lifting his metal arms in the air awkwardly. "But I hope one day you can still forgive me for not being a good father to you... my son."

That was the last straw for the man once called himself the name of his quirk, to break completely. He cried, silently, but the river of tears falling down his eyes was still there as he clenched the back of the man as he trembled... muttering how he hated himself and how much he was ashamed and sorry as Pops also apologized.

You smiled at the scene, trying to left the room but failing when your boyfriend and Pops called you back instantly... these two had still long to talk... but Kai still wanted you there. With him. As he always wanted.

After all, you and Pops were the only concept of family he ever had learned.

[squishytenya]

Dadzawa + Class 1A HCs

Request -  ‘Uh hi! I saw that you were in the mood to write some of Aizawa so can you please make some headcanons of Mr Aizawa being "discretely" Dadzawa? Like pretending that he doesn't care about the class 1-A but it's pretty obvious that he does? (You can make x reader if you feel like it or not just need some protective Dadzawa 😔)’

Warning - Mineta and his perv Skip the bold if you don’t want to see this

He swears to midnight and mic that he doesn't care about these kids any more than making sure they don’t die

But of course neither Hizashi or Nemuri believe him one bit, they can see Aizawa was developing a soft spot for most of his students 

Like when he sees Ochako refusing the offer to go eat with the dekusquad and UA mysteriously starts bursaries for worse-off students a week later

Or the pain meds that make their way onto Ojiro and Kirishima’s desks after particularly rough training sessions

Or even the skin repair cream on Bakugou’s and Mina’s 

Nope, he refused to acknowledge it 

Momo and Sato were always grateful for the snack bars they just so happened to find on the benches at the training grounds 

Or the stomach meds and anti-nausea tablets for Ochako and Aaoyama 

Not that Aizawa had anything to do with that so no teacher commented

Not even when the sleepy man requested for an extra heater in the winter after Tsuyu had almost fallen asleep in class

They did mention something when he finally expelled Mineta when Jirou and Hagakure had complained about him and he was gone within the hour

But that was only to congratulate him because most of the teachers were sick of his attitude towards the female students

Kaminari was rather happy about the fidget toy that has shown up outside his dorm one day, he had been much better in class ever since

So was Shouto when he saw the box of cold soba on his rooms doorstep after a weekend with his family

And when a news outlet saying Tokoyami had a villains quirk just disappeared overnight? Some sort of miracle and they left it at that

They didn’t know exactly who was doing it until Shouta became more obvious with his protectiveness

Like him comforting Shouji and Koda over their quirks making them seem scary/useless to other people

Or him sticking some noise counselling headphones on Iida when he got sensory overload from the noise of the other students

Sero finally spilled when he had caught Aizawa leaving a bottle of muscle treatment on his desk for his elbows after one too many trips to recovery girl 

They didn’t exactly call him out on it though, just liked to tease him from time to time

‘Ahhh you wouldn’t expel us sensei, we know you wouldn't’

The teasing is worth it for these dumb kids though, after all it’s less paperwork to keep them safe

That’s what he tells himself, that he doesn’t care about any kids but nobody can deny how much he really does

‘I am not a dad Hizashi, stop bothering me’

But the grin on Mic’s face only grew once he saw the adoption papers in his hand, the names ‘Shinsou’ and ‘Eri’ scrawled across the top in the sleepy mans handwriting

[cinaja]

Before the Wall part 40

Masterlist

----

Miryam survives the next month, as well as the one after that, and the one after that, which probably means that she is doing something right when it comes to dealing with her problems, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. Especially when she keeps waking up drenched in sweat in the strange bed in her suite in Telique, when the shadows chase after her through the palace halls or she sees Ravenia and Artax lurking in the dark, it is terribly hard to feel like she is making any progress at all.

But after the first month – the month that was supposed to have been her last – she can’t deny that things are improving. Slowly, unsteadily, but it does get better. The hallucinations get fewer and further in between and trying to talk about her feelings no longer feels quite so much like there are shards of glass stuck in her throat. Even Jurian’s absence that she felt like a missing limb in the first weeks becomes more bearable.

Life falls into a rhythm that far from comfortable but about as good as it gets in the middle of a war. Living in Telique means that her life is now centred around politics, but while it can become exhausting at times, it also makes many things easier. It also helps that her assignments as a witch become fewer and further in between, removing that stress factor from her daily life. Miryam suspects either Andromache or Nakia have something to do with that development, even though they both adamantly deny any involvement.

But the biggest change out of all has less to do with Miryam personally and everything with the Alliance because after over five years of war, the Alliance Fae seem to have finally decided to truly commit to the fighting. It’s a miracle – and perhaps the final proof that most Fae are selfish bastards. Millennia of human suffering have barely been able to touch them, but the moment the fighting reaches their doorstep, they manage to put their private struggles aside and start truly working together.

It’s ridiculous, really. Ravenia with her disregard for the rules of war manages to do what over five years of war and all of Miryam’s struggles haven’t been able to achieve and gets the Alliance members to finally put their differences aside. If Miryam wasn’t so relieved that it looks like they might actually win this war for the first time in years, she would be furious.

Sitting at her desk, she finishes up a draft for soldier transitions for the next month, then neatly puts the papers on a stack and looks at the clock. Quarter to six. She’ll be late to her meeting with Drakon, but at least she’s finished with her paperwork for the moment. Miryam gets up, stretching her stiff limbs. She’s been sitting over her work for at least four hours without pause.

Still a little stiff, she walks out of her office. Tasia is sitting at their own desk in a smaller office outside of Miryam’s and they are still bowed over a stack of papers. Tasia is a secretary, formerly employed in Andromache’s staff until the queen transferred them to Miryam, insisting that the leader of the Alliance should have at least some kind of assistance. Miryam was uncomfortable having anyone working directly for her at first, but all the other councilmembers have assistants, so it must be fine. It helps that her and Tasia have formed a friendship over the past months, after Tasia had gotten over their initial hero-worship of Miryam and stopped calling her “my lady” every sentence.

“Anything important?” Miryam asks, nodding at the stack of papers that formed in front of Tasia.

“Not really.” They scrunch up their nose, shaking their head. “But this letter is weird.” They pick it up and hand it to Miryam. “It says on the envelope that it’s only meant for your eyes, so I didn’t open it.”

Miryam takes the letter from them and frowns down at it. The envelope is made of thick paper, clearly expensive. Miryam carefully opens it and takes out the letter.

Lady Miryam,

I know it has been several years since we have seen each other, but I hope you still remember me and the favour you owe me. I’d like to call it in now. Meet me tomorrow at dusk on the spot where we last saw each other.

Until then, Eris.

“Are you well?” Tasia asks.

Miryam realizes that she has been flaring down at the letter, crumbling the paper in her hand. She schools her fingers back into neutrality and forces her fingers to relax.

“Yes,” she says with a smile. “Just a particularly unpleasant acquaintance of mine.” She neatly folds the letter and puts it into her pocket. “I’ve got to go. Why don’t you head home a bit earlier today as well? You can finish up the letters tomorrow.”

Tasia smiles and jumps to their feet. “Thank you.”

Miryam smiles and walks out of her quarters, calling out greetings to some of the guards and servants as she passes. After a few months in the palace, she knows many of the people working here, especially the ones who usually work near her quarters, and Miryam formed loose friendships with some of them.

Drakon is waiting in the gardens, back leaned against the wall. He’s talking to one of the human guards who are posted by the gates, but quickly excuses himself when he sees Miryam and walks over to her.

These meetings have become another part of Miryam’s new life in Telique. They don’t always meet the same day or at the same time because the war has a habit of ruining any schedule they try to come up with, but usually, they manage to get in a few hours every week. Even those few hours are stolen time and usually mean that they both have to cut down on sleeping that day, but Miryam has come to treasure these moments that seem to belong entirely to herself.

“Where are we going today?” Miryam asks.

“It’s a surprise,” Drakon says and holds out a hand to her.

There is no general rule to the things they do together, except for the fact that these hours belong entirely to them. They’ve visited a theatre in Erithia, gone out for dinner in Telique, spent an evening playing cards and visited the tulip fields in one of the southern kingdoms. Especially in the beginning, taking even these few hours for herself when she could be working seemed selfish, but she can’t argue that it helps. It doesn’t make the nightmares go away or ease the pain of what happened, but when she feels like she is drowning in responsibilities, knowing that she can get out – if only for a few hours – at least allows her to breathe.

Today, Drakon winnows them to a dense forest. Mist is hanging high up in the trees and the air is humid. They landed next to a bush with huge, purple flowers the size of Miryam’s head. In front of one of the, a yellow hummingbird the size of Miryam’s finger is hovering. Amazed, she watches it until it is whizzes away.

“Erithia?” Miryam asks.

Drakon nods. “I hope you don’t mind a short walk.”

Miryam doesn’t mind at all. They walk through the forest in silence for a moment, climbing over fallen trees and rocks. The ground rises, first slowly, then the way becomes steeper. Miryam is out of breath far more quickly than usual, which is probably a side effect of now living in a city. She really needs to remember to exercise more. However she will manage to squeeze that into her schedule.

“I know these meetings are meant to be a war-free zone,” Miryam says, “but there’s something I need to tell you about and it can’t wait.”

Drakon frowns. His face immediately turns serious, and Miryam feels bad for bringing the war into their meetings, but she really can’t change it this time.

“Remember what I told you about my visit to Autumn?” She asks. Drakon nods and she continues. “Well, I wasn’t entirely truthful about how it went down. The truth is that Eris Vanserra warned me about the trap and helped me escape.”

“Eris Vanserra? But not the one who – “

“ – was engaged to Mor, yes.” Miryam sighs. “He demanded a favour in return, without specifying what it was. I had no choice but to accept. He wants to meet me tomorrow to call it in.”

Drakon curses. “The Autumn Court is allied to the Loyalists,” he says, “And Eris is…”

“A piece of shit. I know.” Miryam sighs. “But I owe him, so I have to meet him tomorrow.”

“Well, you could always…” Drakon squirms and starts fiddling around with his clothes. “I mean, you could…” He breaks off.

“I can’t just not go.”

“No, I mean…” Drakon sighs through his nose. “I haven’t ever done this, but there are people in my employ – were in my father’s employ, I mean – who could… You know. Make sure he doesn’t show up.”

Miryam stops walking and stares at him. She turns her head over in his head, trying to find how she is misunderstanding them, only to come to the conclusion that he is indeed saying what she thinks he’s saying.

“Are you offering to have Eris assassinated for me?” She asks.

Drakon looks down at his feet. “Well…” He tugs at his hair, making it fall over his face. “I mean, I wouldn’t… But…” He wraps his arms around himself. “He left Mor for dead in that forest,” he says, as if he’s trying to defend himself. “He…”

“He would certainly deserve it,” Miryam interjects gently to save him from his obvious mortification at his own suggestion. She still can’t quite believe that Drakon suggested something like this.

She bites her lower lip. How she’d love to agree, if only for what he did to Mor. She would kill him herself for that if she could. But he saved her life. No matter how selfish his reasons might have been, she owes him. Miryam, like most people on the Continent, values honour, and honour demands that she repays the debt she owes him. She can kill him afterwards, but not before.

“Thank you for the offer,” she says, “But I think I should at least listen to what he has to say first.” If the price he demands is too high, she can still ask Drakon to send one of his assassins.

“Of course.” Now, Drakon seems even more mortified at his own suggestion. “I shouldn’t have… I mean…”

Miryam takes him by the hand. “It was a good idea,” she says, “And it would have been well-deserved. I might come back to it some time.” She grins and squeezes his head. “Much as I appreciate your willingness to have Eris murdered for me, I was just going to ask you to accompany me to the meeting. I can’t winnow, after all.”

“Oh.” She didn’t think it was possible, but Drakon manages to look even more mortified. “Of course.”

“Thank you.” Miryam squeezes his hand and keeps walking. “Then that’s it with the war for today. Now, where were we going?”

“Still a surprise,” Drakon mutters.

Miryam grins and starts questioning about one of the new laws he’s working on. Talking to him about his laws is always a sure way to distract him, and it works again today. She knows that Drakon has gotten over his shock about his own suggestion when he changes the subject from Erithian politics to Miryam.

“How are you?” He asks.

Answering that question has gotten a whole lot trickier since they agreed not to lie to each other. Her usual “fine” no longer works, so she has to either refuse to answer – which she has done more than once already – or actually talk about her feelings.

“Better than last week,” she says, which is true, but doesn’t say much. Last week was terrible. For the first time in weeks, the hallucinations had reappeared and Miryam had to cancel all of her meetings for an entire day because she couldn’t get out of bed. “And I slept four hours at a time last night, so I think that’s a new record.”

“That’s good,” Drakon says. He easily climbs up a steep passage, wings flared for balance, then holds out a hand to Miryam to help her up.

“I ran into Jurian yesterday,” she says when as she’s standing next to him and they continue walking side by side.

When Miryam decided she needed to leave Jurian, she didn’t have any kind of idea for what their relationship would look like afterwards. She had hoped they could remain friends, but she figured the choice was with Jurian, and he didn’t seem interested in ever seeing her again.

But as usual, war interfered with their plans. Three weeks after Miryam left for Telique, two of Jurian’s captains stood in her office, begging her to return. Without Miryam, they lack someone to coordinate the army and deal with the logistics, and things are running into difficulties. She wanted to return right away, but Andromache told her off for being stupid and asked how often she wanted to test her limits until she finally accepted that she had them. (Andromache has the unfortunate habit of getting exactly to the point and making it impossible to argue with her.)

So now, she visits Jurian’s camp once a week to help out with the logistics. Jurian isn’t pleased with the arrangement and usually does his best to stay out of her way, but today, they ran into each other when she was on her way out of the camp.

“How is he?” Drakon asks.

Miryam shrugs. “He still doesn’t want to talk to me, so it’s hard to tell.” She tries and fails not to sound bitter. Jurian barely had half a look for her yesterday. Not that she can really blame him. “But I think it’s getting worse,” she adds.

Drakon nods, looking down at his feet. “I keep thinking we should find some way to help him. And I know we tried, but…” He shrugs.

“I know,” Miryam says softly. Rationally, she knows that neither her nor Drakon could have done anything else to help. Jurian doesn’t talk to Drakon anymore, and Miryam… Well, she simply isn’t strong enough for to help him. But there’s always the feeling that they could have done more.

Drakon sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “You know what, I bet we’re both thinking something like: You couldn’t have done anything, but I should have found a way if only I’d tried right now.”

“How could you have helped Jurian when he wasn’t speaking to you?” Miryam asks, only to realize that she just reaffirmed what Drakon had been saying.

“And you were dying,” Drakon says. “Realistically speaking, my chances were better.”

Miryam opens her mouth to object, to say that she could have managed, then sighs. It’s pretty damn obvious that she couldn’t have. It couldn’t have been more obvious that she had reached her limit.

She shakes her head and lets out a sound that’s somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “This is all fucked,” she mutters.

Drakon simply nods, and she is so, so grateful that he doesn’t offer any empty words of comfort right now. If he had said anything, she would have known he was lying just to make her feel better, and then, she would have had to dismiss the rest he said as well. The next time he has to help her over one of the steep passages, she doesn’t let go of his hand afterwards.

They have been walking for almost an hour when the trees in front of them suddenly part. In front of them, a wide canyon yawns open. Reddish rocks with black lines running through the stone. With a roar like thunder, a waterfall crashes down into the deep, hundreds and hundreds of feet into a river that flows through the bottom of the canyon.

“Beautiful,” she whispers.

Drakon smiles. “We can go sit over there,” he says and points towards a stone that reaches out over the canyon’s edge.

Miryam takes a step backwards. “Uhm.” She eyes the stone. It looks very thin, and under the stone, it’s a very long way down. “Just making sure: You know that I don’t have wings, right?”

 Drakon grins. “It’s a very solid stone. I promise.”

Miryam looks from Drakon to the stone and back. “Okay,” she says, giving herself a mental shove.

She isn’t even scared of heights, not after spending so many hours in a bird’s head. Slowly, she walks towards the stone and steps on it. It remains perfectly solid under her feet. She walks until she can see all the way down to the ground of the canyon, then, she sits down. Drakon sits down next to her.

“I used to come here with my sisters when I was younger,” he says. “Well, not often, because they were usually busy with their own duties. But when they had time, we packed camping supplies and flew all the way from Sajeo.” He stares down at the waterfall for a moment longer, then shakes his head and starts looking through his bag.

“What were they like?” Miryam asks as Drakon fishes out a blanket, some bread, cheese and even a small cake from his bag. “Your sisters.”

“Wonderful,” Drakon says simply. He neatly puts down his blanket, then spreads out the food over it. Only then does he continue. “Leja was the oldest, already well over two hundred years old when I was born. She was quiet, solemn, but there was no one better to go to if you had a problem. Daliah was almost a century younger and completely different, loud and wild. She could always make you smile, no matter how serious a situation might be.” He smiles sadly. ���They were both brilliant. My father had a hard time picking which of them to make heiress.” He shakes his head. “I loved them.”

Miryam nods. “I’m sorry,” she says.

Drakon cuts off a slice of bread with his dagger, adds some cheese and hands it to Miryam.

“Look,” he says and nods towards the canyon.

Miryam turns and nearly drops her bread in surprise. The moon has climbed higher in the sky, high enough to shine into the canyon, and now casts its light down onto the waterfall and the river. Little drops of water glimmer like diamonds and the water rushing down seems to be made of liquid silver.

“That – “ Miryam begins, but the words catch in her throat. She can only stare at the down into the canyon and hope that somehow, her mind will preserve the image so that she can revisit it whenever she feels the need.

----

Jurian is aware of Miryam’s absence every moment, every day. Lying in bed, talking to his soldiers, looking through his correspondence. He always knows that she isn’t there with him, that if he turns around, she won’t be there. The only times he manages to forget is when he’s fighting, or planning a new way to catch Amarantha. But even that now seems to be connected to Miryam.

She left him. She left and didn’t look back. Didn’t even try to understand him. All this talk of doing what it takes, and the moment he did exactly that, she left him. Because she couldn’t take it. Wasn’t he the one who had to endure Clythia’s touches, who spent every waking moment working to bring Amarantha down. But she was the one who couldn’t take it. And now, his life is going to hell, and Miryam gets out completely fine.

It’s the worst on the days she visits. She doesn’t visit him, of course, she comes to deal with the camp. The first few times, she also tried to talk to him, but he screamed at her to leave him alone, to stay the hell away. And eventually, she did.

He didn’t want her to. Or maybe he did. These days, it is hard to tell. He wants Miryam to come back to him. He never wants to see her again. He loves her, he hates her, all at once. It’s tearing him apart.

Jurian presses his palms against his temple, trying to ease the headache forming there. Last night, he once again chose working on his battle strategies over sleep. The sun is too bright in his eyes and he downs another glass of the expensive wine Clythia brought to their meeting.

“What are you thinking about?” Clythia asks.

Miryam, Jurian thinks, and ways to murder you and your sisters. But unfortunately, Amarantha has proven impossible to get a hold on lately. None of Jurian’s traps seem to work, she always manages to slip through his fingers, and she doesn’t dare to face him in open combat.

“I’m thinking about how beautiful you are,” Jurian says. The words are ridiculously cheesy, but of course, Clythia still blushes and leans forward to kiss him.

Jurian refills his glass.

 “Doesn’t it ever bother you that I’m mortal?” He asks between sips. It might not be the smartest question, but his head is beginning to feel light from the alcohol, and Clythia never once catches on to anything he says or does. She’ll likely interpret this as him being worried about her losing interest or something similarly idiotic. “For all your talk of forever, you must know that I will die sooner or later.”

Just this once, he wants her to show a hint of understanding that they are not the same. That they stand on opposite sides of a war, that he is human and will always be and that this romance she came up with and praises to the skies is nothing but the delusion of a bored, rich Fae noble. Clythia, always trailing around after her sister, getting lost between past and future, read too many of her love stories and tried to make one real in the most catastrophic way possible.

If she wasn’t trying to enslave his people, if she wasn’t so completely indifferent to their suffering, Jurian might feel bad for her delusions. But any pity Jurian might once have held for spoiled, arrogant, indifferent Fae has long since burned away.

Clythia brushes the question of with her usual irreverence. “You needn’t worry about that.” She twirls a strand of hair around her finger, smiling cheerfully. “I actually meant for this to be a surprise, but I talked to Amarantha about this exact problem.”

“Oh?” Jurian asks. In his experience, anything that involves Amarantha ends badly for him.

“Yes!” She smiles. “She was sceptical at first, but I convinced her to look into the King’s spellbook for me and she says she found a spell that can conserve a person’s soul through time.”

She doesn’t seem to realize how terrible that sounds. Jurian doesn’t want his soul to be conserved, whatever that means. A commander he once knew kept dead reptiles in glasses on his desk, conserved in some kind of liquid, and this is what the word reminds Jurian of. He suppresses a shudder as he realizes that he wouldn’t put it past Clythia to put him in a glass and display him in her rooms. She’d probably find it romantic, too.

“And you think that will work?” He asks, trying not to show his unease.

“I know it will.” Clythia smiles brightly. “You will live forever. I’ve seen it.”

A shiver runs down Jurian’s spine. “Seen?” He asks. “You mean in your visions?”

“Yes!” She takes his hand. “So you see: Everything is going to be fine.”

This time, Jurian foregoes the glass and drinks straight out of the bottle.

----

“I don’t know why we are even here,” Sinna mutters. She is dressed in full battle armour, a sword and three daggers at her side. And she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else.

Miryam sighs. “You don’t need to feel obliged to wait around with me, though. You could leave and pick me up again in an hour or so.”

An hour ago, Drakon sent her a messenger that he is stuck in an emergency meeting with his council back in Erithia after Ravenia’s soldiers attacked a bigger city, and that he won’t be able to get out in time for Miryam’s meeting with Eris. He sent Sinna instead, and Miryam suspects the general would much rather be back in Erithia, chasing after Ravenia’s soldiers. The entire issue is probably on Miryam for not thinking of a back-up plan should Drakon be unable to accompany her.

“Oh, rubbish.” Sinna shakes her hand as if insulted by the very notion. “As if I’d ever leave you alone with someone like Vanserra.” She wrinkles her nose in distaste and shakes her head. “No, I don’t know why you insist to go to this meeting.”

“Because I owe him a debt and am honour-bound to fulfil it,” Miryam says, but the words taste bitter. Every time she thinks of Eris Vanserra, all she can see is the pain on Mor’s face.

“Why do you need to honour a promise when the circumstances that forced you to make it were so unhonourable?” Sinna asks sharply. “Prythian knows nothing of Continental honour, so why are you keeping to it when dealing with one of them?”

Miryam wraps her arms around herself, shivering slightly. They are far north here, and Miryam’s cloak, although lined with fur, does little to keep the cold out. “I like this as little as you do,” she says, “but – “

Eris Vanserra appears before them. Red-haired and with a slight built, he looks like a younger version of his father, perhaps not quite as cruel yet. Sinna’s hand goes to her sword and lingers even ling after she must have recognized him. Eris must notice the gesture, but he doesn’t comment, instead surveying Sinna from head to toe.

“I thought I asked you to keep our arrangement quiet,” he says to Miryam.

“Then perhaps you shouldn’t have requested a meeting in the middle of nowhere,” Miryam replies. “I can’t winnow, as you know, and you can hardly expect me to walk all the way from Telique to swim over to Prythian.”

Eris sneers, then whirls around to Sinna. “And you are?”

“General Sinna of Erithia,” Sinna replies curtly. Her face remains neutral, but her eyes are positively simmering. Eris stares back.

“What do you want, Eris?” Miryam asks before either of them can do something stupid.

Eris interrupts his staring contest with Sinna and turns to Miryam. “You owe me a favour,” he says. “I’d like to call it in.”

“Autumn is allied with the Loyalists. I can think of no favour you’d want from me.”

“We’ve been reconsidering our alliances lately.”

Sinna shakes her head, tapping the hilt of her sword. “So now that we are winning this war, you want to switch sides. You’ve done no work and taken no risks. Why would we allow you to receive parts of the spoils?”

“That’s exactly why I need dear Miryam,” Eris says.

Miryam doesn’t particularly appreciate being called dear, and she likes Eris’s request even less. “Your court already betrayed this Alliance and once. I’d be a fool to trust you again.”

“If I assure you that we won’t betray you again, will that ease your mind?” Eris asks, but his tone is mocking.

“It might, if I trusted your word.”

“Ouch.” Eris puts a hand over his heart in mock-hurt, but his face remains twisted in his eternal sneer. “What have I done to deserve such a cold dismissal?”

“I believe you know.”

Eris’s posture changes, his sneer vanishes. “I was forced into this engagement as much as Morrigan was. My father required it – what choice did I have? I would never have touched Morrigan, but when she slept with that bastard friend of hers, it was so clear why she did it. She wanted out of that engagement, wanted it so badly she was willing to risk everything for it. I did exactly what she wanted to when I broke off that engagement. How could I have known that her family would…” He shakes his head. Lowers his eyes, the picture of quiet regret.

Miryam wonders with quiet puzzlement if he truly believed this would work. If he did, it’s almost insulting. Of all the routes he could have gone, he chose to act like he was always secretly good? Miryam almost laughs. She’d sooner have believed that he had a change of heart.

But the fascinating thing about people like Eris is that they somehow seem to believe that all people who value things like kindness must also be naïve. Somehow, it’s a common assumption that anyone who considers himself to be good must also believe in the good in others.

Should Eris believe this of her, believe that he could trick her this easily, he is truly a fool. Miryam has seen the worst Fae have to offer and she never, not once, believed that there is good in every Fae. In her experience, it is smartest to meet any of them with a certain degree of suspicion until they have proven trustworthy, and as far as she is concerned, Eris has proven himself to be very untrustworthy indeed.

And as for his excuses, Miryam doesn’t believe a word. His reputation for cruelty has to come from somewhere and if he did even half of the things rumour says he did, he is a monster, no matter what his reasons might have been. And if he was truly concerned about Mor’s wellbeing, he would have spoken to her to ease her fears as soon as the engagement was announced. Or he would have at least helped her when he found her in the forest.

“Pick another favour,” she says.

“I think I want this one.” Eris’s smile returns. “And our deal doesn’t give you leave to refuse my requests at will.”

The sound of metal on leather makes them both turn to Sinna. She has been watching in silence, but now, she draws her sword halfway out of its sheath.

“No deal if you are dead,” she says softly.

Eris keeps his eyes trained on the sword. For the first time, he looks somewhat worried. “It that your version of honour, Lady Miryam?” He asks.

“It is yours,” Miryam says.

Sinna glances at her, as if waiting for confirmation. For a moment, Miryam is almost tempted to give it. Chances that Eris told anyone of the meeting are slim, as that would require revealing why she owes him a favour, and even if he told anyone, they’d need to prove that Miryam was behind his death.

Still, it would be a risk, not just for her but also for Sinna and, by association, Erithia. Besides, Eris did save her life, even if it was for selfish reasons. She owes him, and murdering him during a peaceful meeting would be wrong. It might make things easier for her, he certainly deserves it, but Miryam values honour a bit too much to be able to do this.

Slowly, she shakes her head at Sinna, who pauses a moment, then slowly lets her sword slide back into its sheath.

“Alright,” Miryam says to Eris. “I’ll make sure the Autumn Court gets allowed into the Alliance. With that, our debt is settled.”

Eris gives her an insufferably smug smile. “Glad we – “

“If you betray the Alliance,” Miryam cuts him off, “you won’t live to enjoy whatever that betrayal buys you.” She releases her grip on her power, just enough for it to be noticeable in the air. “And if you dare to approach Morrigan, to bother her in any way, I’ll make sure you regret it. Understood?”

Eris’s smile has faded during her speech, and now, his face is tight. “Understood,” he says with barely concealed anger, then bows and winnows without waiting for a reply.

Only then does Sinna let go of her sword. Miryam allows her posture to relax and rubs her hands over her face. Damnit. Damn Eris.

“Could you please winnow me to Andromache’s camp?” She asks. “I need to talk to Mor.”

----

Mor has been called back to the Night Court and she hates it. It’s been years now since she visited the Hewn City, and she has almost forgotten how terrible it is. How the stone seems to press in on her, how they seem to press all life and hope out of the people living in it. She hates this place, hates it more than anything else. If only she could bring the entire cursed mountain down, burying this horrible place under tons of stone.

But she can’t. She still has to play by the Night Court’s rules, follow her uncle’s orders. And today, he ordered her to go meet him.

She knocks at the door to the High Lord’s office, waiting for the gruff order to enter before pushing it open.

“My Lord,” she says, inclining her head in greeting.

“Sit,” the High Lord says, pointing to a chair opposite him. “How are you, Morrigan?”

“Well.”

“And Lady Miryam?” He asks.

Every time he asks Mor to meet him, he always asks after Miryam, and every time, he sounds like he very badly hopes to hear that she is fatally ill.

“She’s fine,” Mor says, because that’s the reply she always gives, whether Miryam is actually fine or dying.

Lately, she is lying far less than usual, though. Miryam is getting better. She no longer looks like a shadow, fading more and more with each day, and her smiles seem more genuine now. She should have broken up with Jurian sooner. No matter how much Miryam might deny that Jurian was the reason why she was unwell, it seems clear to Mor that he must have had something to do with it.

The High Lord nods, seeming dissatisfied as he always does. The rest of the conversation also follows a pre-established pattern. He questions Mor about the goings of the Alliance, particularly on the human side, but also with the Fae and Mor answers to the best of her knowledge.

“Very good,” he says when she is done. “Once the war is over, I might give you a position in court. A few years and you might be emissary to the entire Continent.”

Mor sucks in a sharp breath. The Night Court, like most Prythian courts, has a significant lack of people who are well-versed in Continental politics, so Mor’s knowledge and position are actually somewhat valuable to them. Still, she never would have thought that her uncle would allow her to hold any kind of position at court. And if he makes her emissary…

She nearly squeals. No more Court of Nightmares, never again. Being made emissary would give her leave to spend most of the time on the Continent. She’d have to do what the High Lord wants her to, but at the same time, she would be free. And she’d have reason to keep visiting Andromache without anyone suspecting. It’s perfect.

“Thank you,” she says. “I would be honoured.”

The High Lord smiles at her. “Good. I had worried you had taken a fancy to becoming a soldier.” Mor freezes and he waves her off. “You didn’t truly think I hadn’t noticed that my favourite niece was now fighting in battle?”

Just like that, any elation Mor felt a moment ago vanishes. She breathes in through the nose and watches her uncle. Was the offer a trap? Did he want to get her hopes up only to crush them and punish her for her disobedience? But he wouldn’t do that, would he? Maybe to Rhys, but he always liked Mor better, treated her with less cruelty. And he can’t just fire her as emissary, not without crossing Miryam in the process.

“I’ll admit, I was sceptical at first, but my sources tell me that you’re doing well,” he says.

Mor is only relieved for a moment. Then, the realization that he must have spies trailing her hits her like a brick. Her and Andromache have been careful, but were they careful enough? If her uncle finds out… He won’t have any reason to keep her secret, maybe he’ll even punish her himself.

“I’ve just been wondering,” he continues, “if you ever noticed anything extraordinary while fighting.”

What kind of question is that? But unless this is some kind of twisted game, it means that he neither plans to punish her nor knows about Andromache.

“No?” She says, making the answer sound more like a question.

The High Lord nods, seeming neither disappointed nor surprised. “Tell me, Morrigan, what do you know about your powers?”

This conversation is getting weirder with each comment he makes. Mor shrugs. “Once every thousand-or-so years, a member of my family gets born with the power of Truth.” Truth with a capital T, for whatever reason. “The child in question is always called Morrigan, so I’m actually the fourteenth Morrigan in my family. Apart from fancy naming traditions, the powers themselves are rather boring, though.”

Her uncle nods at her to go on. Mor is beginning to find this rather ridiculous, but she complies.

“I can sense if people are lying,” she says, “And I can read people, meaning I use my power to see their true selves, their very essence, if you will.” And yours isn’t particularly pretty. “Really, it’s just a lot of excitement about a power that is, when it comes down to it, not all that useful.”

Mor has quite the chunk of power for her Basic Abilities on top of it, so it’s not like she can complain about not being powerful enough. But when it comes to Higher Arts, she really drew the short stick. Considering what witches, shadowsingers or daemati can do, Truth always seemed like a rather lame option to her.

Her uncle nods. “I’ve been looking through old records lately,” he says, “and I came across a text about one of the earlier Morrigans – the sixth, if I’m not mistaken. Apparently, she was able to do more than what you describe. Much more. It was said that she could see the truth about anything in this world, that she could make the proudest Fae beg for mercy in the blink of an eye, and destroy entire armies.” He perches his head on his clasped hands and watches Mor out of dark eyes. “You wouldn’t be able to do anything like this, would you?”

“No,” Mor says, but a shiver of excitement runs through her. “Unfortunately not.”

It’s not that she particularly wants to destroy armies, or know the truth about anything. But that kind of power seems like the ultimate protection, ultimate freedom. Keir, Eris, all these horrible people slithering around in this festering court – none of them would ever be able to touch her again. They wouldn’t dare. She would be just as untouchable as Miryam is, and isn’t that all she ever wanted?

“Could I borrow the text?” She asks, suddenly feeling bold. Her uncle isn’t angry at her, or trying to get her in trouble. He just sees her as a possible new weapon. “I’d like to look into this.

Her uncle smiles. “Of course,” he says, sounding very satisfied with himself.

It’s already past sunset when Mor returns to Andromache’s camp. All she wants right now is a hot meal, and then maybe some quiet time with Andromache. But when she pushes open the entrance to Andromache’s tent, she finds the queen sitting inside together with Miryam.

Mor pushes away her momentary disappointment – she’d really hoped to get some time alone with Andromache today – and smiles at both of them. Then, her eyes travel to the table where a tray with buns has been laid out.

“Ah, thank the Cauldron,” Mor says, “Food.”

Miryam smiles and passes her the tray. Mor takes one bun, considers and grabs a second as well.

“I skipped lunch,” she says between bites, plopping down on a pillow next to Andromache. “And you two? Discussing Alliance matters again?”

“Actually, I was waiting for you,” Miryam says. Her tone is far too serious for Mor’s liking. “How was your meeting with your uncle?”

Mor shrugs. She doesn’t feel like repeating what he said to her. It’s not that she necessarily wants to keep it secret, she just doesn’t feel like sharing it just yet. “I didn’t run into my father, so I guess it went well.” She smiles tiredly. “Why were you waiting for me? Did something happen?”

With Miryam, it’s usually something serious. Somehow, she seems to attract serious problems more than anyone else Mor knows. Things have been going better lately, but who knows what trouble Miryam has gotten into now.

“Not really. But there’s a new political development, and I thought I’d tell you before you find out some other way.” Miryam sighs. “The Autumn Court will be joining the Alliance,” she says, sounding not at all pleased about it.

Mor nearly drops her bun. She stares at Miryam, then slowly begins to shake her head. Isn’t it bad enough that Keir is a member of this Alliance? Must Eris also join now? Carefully, she puts her bun down on her leg, fingers trembling slightly.

“Can’t we stop them?” Andromache asks. She reaches for Mor’s hand and squeezes it. “They sold you out to the Loyalists once before, surely that would make it easy for you to refuse their plea to join.”

Hope flutters in Mor’s chest, but Miryam shakes her head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Andromache presses.

“Because Eris helped me escape when his father sold me out to the Loyalists,” Miryam says, voice flat. “And he demanded a favour in return.” She presses her lips together. “I’m lucky it’s only this he’s asking.”

Mor stares at her, blinking. She never questioned how exactly Miryam, who can’t even winnow, managed to get out of Autumn that day. It seemed enough that she was alive and well, but this…

“You promised Eris a favour,” she says flatly. “That monster could ask anything of you.”

“I know,” Miryam says, lifting her hands as if in surrender. “And I’m sorry – “

“I’m not angry,” Mor cuts her off. She can’t believe Miryam would think that. Why would she be angry? “I’m…” She shakes her head. “You’re one of my closest friends, and you apparently owe everything to the bastard who… Out of all the things I’m feeling about this, anger is not one of them.” At least anger at Miryam.

“I made sure Eris will stay away from you,” Miryam says. “But I realize this is still uncomfortable for you. So it’s up to you. I won’t go through with this if you don’t want me to. I could make sure Eris is… in no state to call in his favour, or bother either of us ever again, if this is what you want.”

Mor almost says yes right there. The words are at the tip of her tongue, but somehow, her mouth won’t form them. She wants Eris dead, she truly does. Eris and Keir both. But…

“Wouldn’t killing him go against your honour?” She asks.

As someone from Prythian, she doesn’t entirely understand why Continental Fae and humans are so obsessed with their honour, but she does know that it’s important to them. Especially important for anyone with a position in politics.

“No one would find out, so there would hardly be any repercussion,” Miryam says. “But yes. Killing Eris to avoid having to fulfil a favour owed would be considered dishonourable.”

Mor nods. “Then don’t kill him.”

Andromache frowns. “Are you sure?” She asks.

Mor nods, but she can’t help but wonder if she truly refused the offer for Miryam’s sake, or if that was just a convenient excuse to hide that somehow, she isn’t capable of killing Eris, nor of letting someone else do it for her. It isn’t out of any sort of moral objection, or out of fear of punishment. She just can’t.

They are always there, constants in her nightmares waking and sleeping, whether they still live or not. Mor is afraid of them, but killing them won’t remove that fear, it will simply cut its tether. As long as Eris and Keir are alive, Mor’s fears have a fix point, and she doesn’t know what will happen if she removes that. But she knows that before she can kill Eris and Keir, she first needs to get rid of that fear.

----

Tags: @croissantcitysucks

[my-fan-side]

Unconventional

A/N: Okay, so here’s the Eris-Nesta Friendship (but still Def Nessian) Fanfic that I’ve started drafting about a couple months ago, but went back to it just last week while cleaning up some of my file in folders.So anyway, I hope you guys like it. Thanks for those who have liked, reblogged and have shown interest on this fic. I appreciate it very much and you have no idea how much that means to me. :)

Chapter 1

When Beron Vanserra died, the crown was instantly passed to his eldest son Eris. How he died and to whose hands he had, was never questioned by anyone, any more. What everyone was concerned, and intrigued for that matter, was what’s in store for the future of Autumn Court under its new leadership.

The dead was honored, traditions was observed, the people of the Autumn court grieved, and High Lords from all other courts sympathized with them. But as they say, the end of an era, is a beginning of another. And so, after all the of mourning, a celebration is very looked forward to.

“Invitations! We’re all going to a Ball next week!” Elain came in bouncing towards her family and friends lounging on the townhouse’s foyer. Everyone looked up to her, and to her red head mate who carries a couple of boxes in his arms beside her.

“Already?! Just a week after his father’s death, and a gathering to celebrate his crown is already happening. Eager much, is he?” Mor snorted with a mix of amusement and irritation as she took one of the invitations and stroke its elaborate design.

“Well, He is already the High Lord of Autumn. He already became one, the moment Beron took his last breath. This is Coronation Ball is just for formality.” Rhysand pointed out as he sat beside his mate. Feyre was admiring the red and gold intricate swirls on the invitation as well. It is beautiful, and if the invitation alone looked this extravagant, she could only imagine what more the actual party would be.

Elain finished distributing the invitations and was now seated on the sofa beside Nesta and Cassian. She frowns on the inner circles’ reactions though. She expected them to be at least a little bit excited for the ball, since it’s been a while since they’ve attended one from a different court. She thought that the animosity between the group and Eris has already subsided. She won’t say it out loud, but she thinks it was a relief to all of them when the throne was transferred to him. They all knew that if not for Eris, some of the treaties between Autumn and Night court wouldn’t have pushed through. He has shown good faith these past years, so she’s not really sure what to feel on their reactions. Maybe she still hasn’t truly understood how deep does the scars run among these people.

Lucien opt not to comment and just rearrange the two boxes he was carrying by the table. He is used to these peoples’ dislike toward his brother, he doesn’t blame them, there’s history there. Still, he and his brother managed to establish a civil relationship for a while now. He wouldn’t say that they are now best brothers, but for now, at least they were on the same page on being at least friendly. At the beginning he bears it for their mother, but as time passes by, Eris managed to show them that he is a better male than his Father was.

“Well, Elain is right! It’s been a while since we all visited another court for a celebration. We have been busy these past few weeks. So, I, for one, is very excited to go party!” Cassian winked at Elain and it made her giggle, Nesta snort, and the rest of the gang shook head and roll their eyes.

“Speaking of. Nesta, this is for you, for the party.” Lucien handed the box to her.

“For me?” Nesta took the box unsure what to make of it.

“Yes, the other box is for Elain.”  Lucien confirmed and handed the other box to his mate.

“Hey! What about me?” Feyre protested with a pout from the other side of the room.

“Uhmm. Well, the one for Elain is actually from my mothers. A late birthday present since I’ve mentioned to her that last week was Elain’s birthday.” Lucien explained carefully, hoping not to upset his first Archeron friend. Meanwhile, Elain blushes on receiving that gift. She knows what’s in the box, she has already opened it when they were still on the Autumn court. It was a beautiful long dress, perfect for next week’s occasion.

“Uhhhh, so is this an advance birthday present for me too? From your mother? Because my birthday is still a couple of months from now, and I wasn’t aware she knows about it?” Nesta asked with raised brows. She’s confused on why Lucien’s mom would give her anything at all, what more, a present?

“Actually, it’s not exactly from mother. That – is from Eris, sort of. He told me to give you that.” Lucien said with a raised brow and a smirk. Elain bit her lip trying not to laugh. Not because of Nesta’s snort when Lucien said it was from Eris, but because of the rest of the Inner Circle’s reaction. They were all rendered speechless looking back and forth between Nesta and the gift box. Azriel and Amren with narrowed eyes. Rhysand with raised brows. Feyre and Mor probably didn’t even noticed their mouths agape. And Cassian, Nesta’s mate, who’s face went from shocked, then confused, then angry in just a matter of seconds, was frozen still.

Nesta, however, seems to be unaffected and probably amused on their reactions as well. She took the cover of the box, saw a card atop it and read it. What’s written made her snicker. And before she returned the card inside the box, Cassian grabbed it fast and read it aloud.

“Nesta.

Here’s a dress that I hope you’ll wear on my Ceremony. I know I can’t tell you what to do, I’ve learned my lessons. But, just because you’re from the Night court doesn’t mean you’ll wear black and white only. Or Gray like you usually do. Really, you should spice up your wardrobe a little, will you?

Eris.”

The letter sounds teasing enough that they can’t help but wonder how close Eris and Nesta have really become. And why the heck they didn’t know about it. Well except Elain and Lucien.

Cassian’s nostrils flared, and crumpled the piece of paper with Eris note. He was about to say something, when Nesta punched his arm, not that hard really, just to make him stop seething.

“Will you stop being territorial. Gods! It’s just a note!” Nesta rolled her eyes at his mate.

“Sweetheart, this...” he raised the crumpled notes towards Nesta. “…is just a note. “But that—”  he point his fingers towards the dress that’s still neatly folded inside the gift box. “--is not! Why the heck is Eris giving you a dress? And since when are you two friends? Why did I not know this? Wha—” He wasn’t able to finish his blubbering. Nesta put a finger on his lips to shut him up and answers his questions calmly.

“One, he’s giving me a dress because he wants to--- for some reason. Two, I can’t remember exactly when we started to get along, but it’s not like it happened the instant I have visited Autumn court as an Emissary. And three, well… I don’t know why you didn’t know. I guess it just never came up. It’s not like we talk about him that much. Do you want to talk about him?” Nesta finished her statement coolly and with a raised brow towards Cassian.

“No.” He grumbled, he’s annoyed and mad. Too many questions running through his mind.

“I do!” Feyre answered back. “I want to know how you are friends. I mean, you go to other courts too, but it’s not like you have close friends from every courts?” she said and then crossed her arms. She can’t believe her sister is actually friends with Eris. And they must be closer than just the casual acquaintances, because he was literally giving her gifts.

Nesta tilted her head towards Feyre and answered her evenly. “And how are you so sure I don’t?” She crossed her arms too and face her younger sister. Like a challenge. The others kept quiet eyeing the two having a staring match.

Then Nesta sighed and leaned back towards Cassian’s arms. “I don’t get why you’re all bothered about this. I can have friends outside this circle and this court, you know? Like you do.”

“We never said you can’t or don’t.” Rhysand clarified.

“Of course. Of course.  I guess it just caught us off guard. We didn’t know.” Feyre let it go and leaned back towards her mate as well. “But you do?!” she then turned her attention to her other sister. Pointing out that among all of them, she isn’t surprise with this.

Elain nods her confirmation. “Well, keep in mind that I usually used to accompany Nesta if she has to go do her work in Autumn, and she chaperoned whenever I go there to meet Lucien there, back then. So, sometimes it’s the four of us who spend time together.” She continued and then shrugged it off.

“Yes, and I’m polite enough to leave them and give the two of them some time alone.” Nesta nods her head pointing to Elain and Lucien. “Because I may be overprotective, but I’m not going to hinder on what makes them… getting to know each other better.” She gave them both a soft smile which the couple returned happily.

“But my brother is stubborn enough as well and decides to not leave Nesta’s side, when she gives us space. You know, Eris might not be the sharpest knife in the bunch, but he knows what he’s saying when it comes to Court Trades and Treaties. And to be honest, when I saw their clash of words on that topic for the first time, I immediately thought that it’s either they’ll kill each other eventually, or miraculously be the best of friends in the end. Well, I guess miracles do happen.” Lucien finished and laughed at that. Elain laughed with him, she thought of that too. Nesta just wave off the statement but that little smirk was undeniably on her face.

“I actually agree with that.” Amren spoke for the first time since the discussion started. “Eris is…cunning and dangerous, yes. But he’s also clever and have the set of skills one leader must have. Just like some one we all know.” She raised a brow and a sly smile towards Nesta. “Maybe that’s why they get along. Besides, whether we all admit it or not. We are glad it was him that have inherited that crown among the Vanserras. We all know it was what’s best for the Autumn court.” She said then finished the wine she was holding.

Cassian was openly glaring at Amren, which the other felt but totally ignored, because how could she actually defend that bastard? However, he can’t say anything else to contradict her statement though, because he knew it was the truth. And everyone seems to think the same because there was a quiet stillness after Amren said her piece.

“Anyway, count me in! Because it will definitely be one heck of a party.” Amren smirked and pointed her wine glass towards Lucien and Elain’s position, her statement seems to finished the conversation.

Tags: @sjm-things @moonbeammadness @maastrash

@typicalmidnightsoul 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 256: Fucking Superb You Funky Little Hero Eggs

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Mic’s frankensteined best friend Shirakumo, better known to us as Kurogiri, had his memories briefly restored through the Power of Friendship, and was all “YO Y’ALLS BETTER GO CHECK OUT THOSE HOSPITALS” before his head started steaming like a tea kettle and he randomly fell asleep. Aizawa and Mic were all “!!” and Aizawa was all “(ಡ ﹏ ಡ)” and Mic was all “Aizawa are you crying” and Aizawa was like “NO!!!” and then they left the prison and Nao called HPSC Lady who called Hawks and was all “eck-chay ethay ospitals-hay” because Hawks, as you recall, is still a secret agent and all that. Anyway so Hawks was all “EUREKA!!” in his head which doesn’t really add up but hey, and then the chapter ended with Dr. Ujiko dancing in sadistic glee as he watched Tomura get all mad scienced. It was pretty freaky. I could use some wholesomeness right about now so let’s see if this chapter will deliver.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-A shows off the fresh skills they learned during their assorted internships, such as “determination”, “enhanced search techniques”, and “becoming a literal blob of acid.” The Wonder Trio is a particular highlight, and All Might is all “my little baby off to destroy people :’)” as he watches Deku shred a robot to pieces using Blackwhip. We then cut to Aizawa and Mic, who may or may not be planning some rogue vigilante style investigations of the whole Noumu thing, or maybe they’re just brooding, but either way they’re interrupted by Mirio and Tamaki who come running in to get them to stop Eri’s quirk from going haywire, which, yikes. The chapter then ends with All Might handing Deku a notebook full of DETAILED, CATALOGED INFO ABOUT THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE FUCKING SIXQUIRKS. We just have to wait two more weeks to find out what that’s all about. 2020’s got some fucking zip to it so far huh.

so it’s about a quarter past 7 right now and it’ll be a miracle if I can have this recap up by 10pm tonight. surprisingly the wait for this chapter didn’t really bother me, but this Sunday/Monday release schedule is really doing a number on my punctuality. but anyways we’ll figure it out eventually. if memory serves, there’s about a 90% chance that this week’s jump will also be a double issue, so that gives me another extra week to get my shit together lol

(ETA: so that wasn’t too far off actually! I think a three-hour turnaround time isn’t bad for 3000 words lol. and actually it was more like two hours of reading/blogging and one hour of editing/photo cropping. anyway so in all likelihood either Sunday or Monday night releases will become the norm, depending entirely on how busy that particular Sunday is. not quite the same as getting the chapter on Friday and having the whole weekend to ruminate over it but we will adjust!)

anyway, so I’m somehow remarkably unspoiled for this chapter despite it having been out for nearly a week and a half at this point. so that’s something! let’s see what we’ve got here

yaaaay my babies

All Might was offering free cotton candy, yes? I didn’t expect we’d cut right back to this lol, but you sure won’t see me complaining. I want to see what everyone else learned during their internships, and also what with the break and the last couple chapters being Tartarus-focused, it’s been about a month since I last saw my little hero eggs, and of course I missed them I’m only human

omg

did the original dialogue really reference Skynet. Horikoshi truly gives no fucks about copyright. like one or two episodes ago the anime made some copyrighted reference which you could clearly hear in the Japanese but which the English subs hilariously glossed right over. I’m trying to remember what it was now. damn. anyways we millennials can never resist a good pop culture reference, facts

OH MY GOD AOYAMA

THEY’RE EATING THE COTTON CANDY

TOKOYAMI EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020 THUS FAR. LET ME TELL YOU, WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

SHOUTO EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE SECOND BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020. IT WAS VERY CLOSE

I STALLED FOR TIME SO MUCH AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WTF TO SAY ABOUT AOYAMA’S NEW ATTACK OH MY GOD. JUST. I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS. THIS BOY IS REALLY OUT HERE SLICING ROBOTS IN HALF WITH HIS BRAND NEW LASER PENIS. THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS THAT HORIKOSHI GIVES IS IN THE NEGATIVES I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

OH ARE YOU STILL GOING

is... what’s... ldkfj okay nothing to see here guys just the naked invisible chick getting all friendly with Aoyama’s beam boner. just manhandling his sparkle shaft. there are children reading this manga. I mean, they’re already mentally scarred from all the dead dogs and child quirk wine and whatnot, but still at what point do we put our goddamn foot down

anyway so somehow she’s redirecting his laser beam?? I guess with her light refracting quirk skills?? great job Hagakure with your help Aoyama can finally shoot lasers at stuff that’s behind him. you’ve mastered the power of making it so that he doesn’t have to turn around great job truly an internship well spent

“now I can yank light and warp it!” you go girl now you can whip that thing around like it’s a fucking fire hose I guess

YOOOOO MINA!!

THIS GIRL LITERALLY COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND DID A FUCKING BARREL ROLL AHHHHHHHHH. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, NO OFFENSE TO CAPTAIN DISCO DONG AND COMMODORE “I CAN DO EVERYTHING A MIRROR CAN DO” BUT THERE ARE UPGRADES AND THERE ARE UPGRADES, AND LET’S FACE IT, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HERE

AHAHAHA I LOVE ITTTTT

is it too late for Mina to actually change her name to Acidman. what is she calling herself now again?? Pinky?? come on Mina strike some fear into the hearts of your enemies

and now All Might and the others are applauding. I don’t see Shouto’s cotton candy anymore. boy fucking inhaled that shit

oh wow, they interned under Yoroi Musha? if memory serves me, and I’m honestly not going to bother to check right now, isn’t that the samurai dude who somehow beat Ryuukyuu in the billboard charts? not that I’m still salty about that, oh wait I absolutely am but anyways

OH MY

IS THAT SOME KIRIMINA CONTENT UP IN MY PANELS. hot damn that is some cute fucking shit. Mina better not get any undue hate for this. everyone please remain calm this cute interaction does not threaten your ship in any way (unless you want it to in which case have at!!) and we can all have fun if we just play nice you guys

lmao All Might

“WE’RE ALREADY ON PAGE FOUR AND THERE ARE TWENTY OF YOU, WE DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY CHILDREN”

so Satou and Ojiro learned how to punch harder and stuff. again, it’s fine, we can’t all be Acid Men. but meanwhile they interned with some lion guy named Shishido whom I INSTANTLY LOVE so that’s badass. only one character away from Shishida though, but that’s Horikoshi for you

OH MY GOD

BLAH BLAH YES ENHANCED SEARCH TECHNIQUES ZZZZZ BUT FUCKING LOOK THOUGH AT THE FLASHBACK OF HIM YEETING THEM, YESSSSSS. THE OLD WAYS HAVE NOT YET BEEN FORGOTTEN, GANG ORCA YOU ARE THE HERO WE DESERVE

meanwhile Sero, Kami, and Mineta learned how to literally kill people with their quirks flkdjsflk

(ETA: btw I really love that Mt. Lady’s internship emphasized teamwork. now there’s someone who’s come a really long way her own self. anyway I stan and she had better join the other two in the the top 10 real soon. come on BnHA society get with it.)

damn Mt. Lady what the fuck. “if you guys work together you can suffocate and electrocute villains to death with ease!” the government’s plan really is working huh; these children have become bloodthirsty, ruthless killers in a shockingly short period of time

anyways so Iida as we all recall learned how to be more footloose and fancy free, and meanwhile Kouda learned “smooth communication” from Wash, the literal washing machine man whom I also don’t still harbor a grudge against for inexplicably beating my dragon queen in the hero polls, and once again that is a lie because fuck you Wash! you’re adorable but fuck you!!

man this is taking forever why are there so many kids in this class. for anyone wondering why Horikoshi doesn’t focus on class 1-A as a whole more often and leaves them as supporting characters, this right here is why. I love these children to death but we would still be stuck in the basement arc. oh my god I just shuddered

Tokoyami mastered “improvement on all fronts” because I guess he kind of peaked at flying when it came to new moves huh. that’s fine for now

and Kiri mastered “making baddies lose the will to fight real quick” which sounds like some bullshit you’d write while desperately trying to pad your hero resume, except that it’s accompanied by this convincing panel of him chomping a steel bar in two or some shit which YIKES

can confirm, if some demonic rock man came trotting up to me and snapped off some railing from some stairs and fucking snapped it like a twig with his GIANT FOSSILIZED DINOSAUR TEETH, I’d lose my will to fight pretty quickly too

and Ochako and Tsuyu learned “determination” smdh. Horikoshi did you fucking fall asleep towards the end of this segment or what

WHO IS MAJESTIC OMG

excuse me did she just create a bunch of fucking dynamites. is that what those are. is my girl encroaching on my young son’s turf. because if she is, ENCROACH, MOMO, ENCROACH! FEEL FREE TO FUCKING IMPINGE, EVEN!! god, and I know I was bitching just a moment ago about these “lessons” becoming increasingly vague and intangible and motivational poster-y, but I read Momo and “predicting and acting efficiently”, and my thoughts immediately ran to Nighteye and Mirio’s fighting styles, and I was like “YESSSSSSSSS” because, I mean. YES, though

meanwhile Kacchan has learned...

this fucking -- I swear -- YOU LEARNED WHAT YOUR FUCKING HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE YOU TROLLING PIECE OF SHIT. oh my god. Katsuki I swear to god I will take your internet privileges. NO SRIRACHA FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS

oh for fuck’s sakes

don’t mind him he learned boom with five b’s and three oo’s what did you all do this week. and somehow Todoroki learned how to be even more fabulous

so All Might’s looking on in pride and giving Endeavor some mental props, and waiting for Deku to go do his thing too

sdfkj he’s thinking about the day he gave Deku THE HAIR and that “[it] feels like ancient history now.” DOESN’T IT THOUGH?

OH MY FEELS

“you don’t look back at me anymore... and you don’t need to.” oh Aizawa’s dry eye has spread to me now huh. must be those January allergies. and that’s some nice bloop there kid. great jorb

someone tell All Might he’s not allowed to look on at Deku with this much fatherly love without giving me at least a week’s notice in advance

sigh. now you’ve done it you two I’m going to become a big cat blob of feels right here and it’s all on you. you did this

oh my god a whole big panel of reactions from the other kids and I’m ( ˊᵕˋ )

lol Kacchan can’t agree with anything even if it’s a compliment. and lmao, who the fuck was that who was all “TODOROKI FINALLY YOU’RE A FAST FUCKING HIMBO HUH!” like they really went and put that “finally” in there, like they were so fucking tired of Todoroki Shouto and his LANGUID FUCKING PACE all the fucking time, GOD, FINALLY SOME SPEED BOY WE WERE DYING OUT HERE

Mineta being happy for Deku also warms my heart, ngl. we’ve gone almost an entire chapter with Mineta not doing anything even remotely perverted, can it be, has Horikoshi finally chilled the fuck out. or did I just jinx it we shall see

also love how Deku is just reduced to an inkblot here and it still is him beyond any shadow of a doubt. and poor Sero, you are also being impinged on huh

lmao Mineta’s just socking Deku in the solar plexus out of comradery and Deku’s fucking vomiting on reflex and not even paying the slightest attention wtf

I love this panel there I said it

so he’s going over and thanking Ochako for “that time” and says he’s using Blackwhip a lot better now. I assume he’s referring to when he first unlocked it and went hog wild and she was all “smh” and went and hugged him to put an end to that nonsense

oh, right!!!!

I forgot about those!! looool Horikoshi’s 2020 resolution is to make everyone Spider-Man now huh. hey everyone guess what I LOVE THIS

oh my god this wholesomeness

I fucking can’t?? yo I’m seriously living for this? I don’t get why some people think Deku inhibits Ochako’s character growth tbh. or that her story is becoming all about him. if it is, then it’s in the same way that Bakugou’s is. Deku keeps inspiring her to be better, ain’t nothing wrong with that. yes she has the crush, and she’s honest with herself and in tune with her emotions enough to be aware of it and to acknowledge it, but she refuses to be distracted by it. I actually really like that, because it shows that romantic feelings can actually exist and not be the central focus of a character’s story or their development. and I think the fear is that it somehow will become the focus, but so far I haven’t seen that happening, so it seems unwarranted to me

anyway

shit’s cute

oh no Mineta’s doing something weird I fucking did jinx it I’m sorry guys. it’s a fucking fistbump dude relax

so All Might seems to be dismissing them now, and he’s saying something about how he reordered (?? rescheduled, maybe??) class so that Aizawa can watch later. that’s nice. he’ll need something to cheer him up, and if Acidman can’t do the trick I don’t know what can

and now we’re cutting back to the dorms!! dorm shenanigans yessssss

oh no shit wait

these are not playful dorm shenanigans these are depressed Miczawa shenanigans to bring me down. nnnn

but Aizawa fucking knows something is up now, shit. that’s right son your babies are in danger

KLJKLGLKSH

okay (1) HOW HOT IS AIZAWA THOUGH HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

and (2) is “have a karaoke contest” code for “fuck shit up” or what. son of a bitch, having these two so personally invested in the Noumu arc now is such an unexpected and wonderful gift

MIRIO NO

(ETA: but you all know Aizawa was about to say “I’d go and fuck shit up” though.)

I LOVE YOU BOTH BUT THEY WERE HAVING A SEXY ANGSTING MOMENT, MIRIO CAN YOU NOT READ THE ROOM!! DO YOU NOT SEE THEM BEING ALL ANGSTY AND DARKLY CONTEMPLATIVE!! YOU TWO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHEN LOVERS ARE BONDING OVER THEIR ANGST WHICH ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND! FUCKING GODDAMN

NO!!!!!

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER PRECIOUS HEAD

NOOOO MY SWEET BABY GIRL

oh my fuck that sweater is the cutest fucking thing and this girl has had no shortage of cute outfits let me tell you. BUT ANYWAY SHE’S SCARED AND CRYING NOOOO. holy shit her horn is fucking huge now I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, and Nejire is Best Mom for not giving a single fuck and holding and comforting her regardless of the risk, I love her so much

OH THANK GOD

PALPABLE RELIEF. boys I’m sorry it was wrong of me to yell, you did the right thing interrupting their sexy brooding

BREAK ROOM AHHHHH THE SCOOBY SQUAD LIVES AGAINNNN

it means you constantly amaze him!! you have so much potential he doesn’t even know what the limit might possibly be! don’t act like you don’t love it. or stop being so suspicious and trying to look for the hidden meaning and just accept the praise for what it is. you did good. now ask him if he’s heard any news about Best Jeanist :/

!!

that’s right, he was researching and making faces a while back, are we finally gonna find out what all that was about??

DSLFKAJSLDKFH

HE MADE A NOTEBOOK FOR HIM AHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES THIS IS AMAZING

DOES HIM GIVING HIM THE INFO IN NOTEBOOK FORM MEAN IT’S UP TO DEKU WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS TO SHARE THIS INFO WITH KACCHAN. HMMM. OBVIOUSLY HE WILL, BUT THAT’S A REAL POWER MOVE THOUGH, DAMN

“PAST SUCCESSORS / QUIRKS” EVERYONE, THIS BOOK CONTAINS THE SECRETS OF THE SIXQUIRKS. AND THE PREVIOUS OFA AVATARS. THAT’S FINE I’M JUST GONNA. ...I’LL BE FINE. FOR TWO WEEKS. FUCK

shit. well I know it was coming, that’s another reason why I didn’t feel particularly rushed to read this chapter lol. I kinda wish I’d had the foresight to save the Korean scanlation though, just to compare. ah well it’s probably still lying around somewhere

and lol and here’s the bonus page, and this one I did see floating around tumblr haha

I’m not sure how the three smartest kids in class are all present and yet not one of them had the foresight to consider that maybe, just maybe, this could be a bad idea. let’s let the kid with the combustible sweat handle the mochi I’m sure it’ll be -- [everyone immediately dies]. anyway so that’s some good friendly advice from Horikoshi there. happy new year friends!

[kirbychan234]

Something Lost, Something Found

Read it on AO3

A fic based on @abnormallynicehere‘s older au. Their art is fantastic, so you should all give it a look!

Neku groaned and rubbed his temples; he could already feel the impending headache.

He loved Shiki, really he did, but it was way too early in the morning for her bubbly personality. And the ringtone Neku had picked out for her suddenly made him regret every life decision he ever made in his life. “What?”

“Sheesh, good morning to you too, Mr. Grumpy-pants.”

Neku double-checked the time on his phone before he put it back to his ear. “Shiki, it’s like 7:30 in the morning. You know I’m not a morning person.”

“Yeah but you don’t have classes today, and I wanted to catch you before you got too busy!” The excitement in her voice would have been charming if he wasn’t still half-asleep. “You’re free later, right? Can we get together? I wanted to show you and the others something.”

The others – meaning Beat and Rhyme probably. And if they were going, then he probably didn’t have a choice in the matter. “Besides, it just…feels like we should do something today, you know?”

“Why?”

There was a brief moment of silence on the other end of the line. “Neku, don’t you know what today is?”

This was getting dangerously close to something he had a feeling he wasn’t ready for. “Uh…”

“Come on. It’s the five-year anniversary of when we came back to life.”

Oh.

Neku was suddenly a little more awake. He finally sat up in bed. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. And it’s been way too long since the four of us hung out together, so…”

Right. Despite his lingering irritation, Neku couldn’t help but smile. “I get it,” he replied. “Usual spot at the usual time?”

He could picture Shiki beaming so easily. “Yeah! We’ll see you there! Thanks Neku!”

Neku couldn’t help but think there was no reason to thank him when they hung up. It wasn’t like he really did or said anything special. This day was kind of a big deal after all, so of course he’d hang out with his friends.

Still. “Five years…damn.” 1,826 days since he was revived, and 1,802 days since he’d seen…

‘No, don’t go down that road again, Neku,’ he reminded himself bitterly. ‘You’re past this. You’ve moved on.’

But goddamn if it still didn’t ache.

Neku glanced out the window. ‘I wonder how you’re doing…’

--

“Look!” Shiki proudly sat Mr. Mew on their shared table.

“Oh, you found your pig,” Neku joked, and promptly received an elbow jab from Shiki in retaliation. It made him laugh anyway. Making fun of Mr. Mew never got old, no matter what Shiki said.

“’s cool you found ‘in,” Beat said in between bites. It was pretty disgusting, and Neku wished desperately that Beat would learn to stop doing that after all these years. Ugh.

He was surprised when Rhyme actually ignored Beat’s bad manners. Instead, she beamed at Shiki. “Yeah, that’s great! Where did you finally find him?”

“So you’ll never believe this-” Shiki cut herself off with a laugh. “He was flopped over in the back of my closet. I don’t even remember going in there with him!”

For a brief moment, Neku wondered if Mr. Mew could still move on his own…nah. That wasn’t possible, not in the RG anyway, right? “Oh, and that’s not all!” Shiki held out her hand and all eyes were drawn to the ring on her thumb.

It looked incredibly familiar. “Hey, isn’t that…”

“Yeah! I finally found the ring Eri gave me!” It was just one of her simple silver bands, but the sentimental value couldn’t be measured in words. Shiki had been beside herself when she had lost it, and she couldn’t look at Eri in the eyes for weeks. “I thought I lost it for good, but you know what? Mr. Mew was lying right on top of it when I found him!”

Huh. Maybe he spoke too soon, Neku mused. “Whoa. That’s like some UG shit or somethin’, ain’t it?” Beat finally had the decency to swallow his food before speaking. “Maybe?”

“Maybe,” Shiki replied with a shrug. “But I dunno. Mr. Mew’s always been kind of weird like that. Whenever something happens with him, I always feel like…”

“Premonitions, right?” Neku spoke up as he sat down his chopsticks. “You told me about them before.”

Beat and Rhyme’s eyes were drawn back to Shiki, and she nodded after a bit. “Yeah. But I think this is a good omen this time. Finding something you lost can never be bad, right?”

Maybe. It was hard to say, but Shiki hadn’t ever been wrong about this sort of thing before. Neku sighed and sipped his drink, quietly listening to Beat and Rhyme asking her questions.

Well, whoever the omen was directed at, hopefully they’d appreciate it.

--

Neku probably should have learned by now to trust Shiki’s instinct.

The scramble was as busy as ever, and it was a miracle Neku had even seen him at all. Or maybe it wasn’t…

He only saw him for a brief second, but to Neku, it felt like time had stopped. Those eyes, that smile – Neku cold never forget them for the rest of his life, no matter how hard he tried. “J-!”

But as soon as the second was over, his target was swallowed by the crowd of people. Neku knew he did it on purpose, the bastard. A second wasn’t nearly enough time, but now…

No. Not again. He wasn’t getting away that easily. “JOSHUA!”

He broke away from his group of friends, ignoring their surprised calls to him, and dashed through the crowds. People yelled, some might have even gotten knocked over, but Neku ignored them too. This was way too important.

The bastard kept walking, but Neku didn’t give up. Finally, he managed to grab a thin and familiar wrist, and the both of them stopped in their tracks.

The people around them stared, and neither moved. But eventually, slowly, Joshua turned to face the other with a small smile. “Hello Neku.”

Neku felt his heart lurch. He looked – and sounded – exactly the way he remembered. “It…it is you…”

The crowd had started moving again, and Neku could faintly detect Shiki, Beat, and Rhyme all behind him. Right now though, all he could focus on was the one he hadn’t seen in five whole years.

Joshua hummed, and then looked Neku up and down. “You’ve certainly gotten taller,” he said, tone bordering on amusement.

That was all he had to say? Seriously? “I-” Neku wanted to be mad. He wanted to be so goddamn pissed at the asshole who vanished for five years, then suddenly reappeared like nothing ever happened.

But…he couldn’t. Instead of anger, all Neku felt was relief. “You-” 

Without warning, Neku pulled Joshua’s wrist forward before tightly wrapping his arms around him. He felt Josh freeze in his hold, like he was expecting something else. Hitting probably, but Neku couldn’t bring himself to do that either. “Oh?” Josh’s soft voice carried through the crowd of people. “A public display of affection, Neku? How unlike you.”

Neku only held him tighter. “Shut up, you asshole!”

A small chuckle rang out. God, he’d even missed that annoying laugh of his too. Neku felt himself start to tremble, despite his grievances. “Neku, are you…crying?”

He was. Neku realized this was the second time he cried in front of Joshua. He hated it. “No…”

With another laugh, Joshua finally started to relax in Neku’s hold. Slowly he rose his hands up to rest on Neku’s back, and Neku sighed in relief. He was here, he was real.

A full fifteen seconds passed with neither man letting go nor saying anything. Finally, Joshua shifted, and one of his hands fell back to his side. “Are you going to let go of me?” He asked.

Neku wondered if Josh could feel how fast his heart sped up at those words. “If I do, are you just gonna vanish again?”

On his back, Joshua’s remaining hand twitch, like Neku had struck a nerve somewhere. Good, served him right for all he put him through. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What the hell do you think it means?” Neku pulled back but kept his hands on Josh’s shoulders. He couldn’t let him go, not yet, not until he was certain. His eyes were red and puffy, and dried tear streaks stained his cheeks, but he was determined if nothing else. “You’re smart. Use your brain.”

Joshua didn’t look amused, but eventually he sighed. “Fine. We’ll talk later.”

“Why not right now?”

“Well I do have a city to run, Neku,” Josh replied with a smug smile, one that make Neku’s heart do flips. “I’m not even supposed to be here right now, but I did want to congratulate you on five years.”

So he remembered. For some reason that made Neku happy, and the mental image of Mr. H tracking down the runaway Composer only made it better. “Thanks,” he said, and he truly meant it. “So I’ll see you soon then? When you’re not so busy?”

“Yes.”

“Promise me, Josh? You won’t disappear for another five years, right?”

Joshua was quiet for far too long, and Neku almost feared the answer. But eventually, Joshua’s smile turned sincere, and he nodded. “Promise. I won’t disappear without warning again. You can expect to hear from me soon.”

That was all he could ask for. Reluctantly, Neku let his hands drop from Josh’s shoulders. “Okay.”

“Don’t look like such a kicked puppy. I said I’d be back soon, didn’t I? You can at least take my word on that.” For now, that was all Joshua seemed to be able to say. If Neku didn’t know any better, he almost looked shaken up, and that honestly made him feel pretty damn proud.

Josh gave a small wave and faded back into the crowd. Against his better judgement, Neku believed him. Damn that charming smile of his.

“You’d better keep your promise…”

[toutorii]

Shirou laid his head down on his clasped hands, leg bouncing. His uncle patted his shoulder before he left to check up on his other students in the hospital. That was twenty minutes ago. The heart monitor being the source of the boy’s comfort and insanity. The constant beeping assuring him that his sister was still alive and with them, but also a looming threat that he could lose her at any moment. He wished that his brother could be there with him, to say something comforting or make a joke, or even to give him some fresh air. But that was impossible, the minute his elder brother breathes in the general vicinity of the hospital, police, and heroes would go haul him off to Tartarus.

His thoughts got interrupted by his sister scrunching up her face, interrupting her sleep. Shirou rushed to grasp her hand, and assure her that she wasn’t alone. Her eyes slowly opened and rested on her brother next to her. Shirou swore that she looked like an angel with the way the light-framed her hair and face. She made a little pout, and proceeded to say,

“It’s no fair that you’re such a pretty boy. Give me some of that,”

And for the first time in what seemed like weeks, Shirou’s chest grew tremendously lighter, laughter tickling this throat as he let out a small chuckle. The anxiety dispersed as he knew that his sister would be alright.

Honoka looked around the room, “So I see that my fire didn’t go haywire while I was asleep”

Shirou shook his head. Grateful that his sister hadn’t lost control of her powers while unconscious again.

“You just missed Shouta” The words sounded gravely, the lack of use taking a toll on his speech.

“Hi yes, I'm Shirou and I have been smoking for fifty years.” She joked, mimicking Shirou’s raspy voice. Before he could protest she continued, “But I missed Shouta? Darn…. Has anyone else been to visit?”

“Toshinori popped in for a little while with Midoriya, but they’re all heading back to school now. All that's left is us, Mirio and little Eri.” Honoka’s eyes lit up at the mention of the little girl’s name. Shirou knew how much she cared for her, and was glad to see a sparkle in her eyes for the first time in ages. “She’s alright, only needs a little more monitoring to make sure her powers don’t freak out again.”

And with that, they left the conversation and sat in comfortable silence. Shirou every once in awhile rubbing his thumb against the coarse burnt skin of Honoka’s knuckle, noting the way she looked longingly at the once smooth and healthy skin.

Three months. Honoka had been gone for three months. The overuse of her quirk being the reason her skin was set ablaze, and yet the reason it healed so quickly as well. It was so ironic Shirou could do nothing but laugh grimly when he heard the doctors explain the situation.

The sound of his sister’s voice shook him from his thoughts, “I heard the doctors saying that there was a high chance that I would never walk again,” Shirou squeezed her hand, his chest becoming tight as she continued, “but there's still a chance that I will walk again, right?’ Her voice broke at the end of her statement, tears filling her eyes.

Shirou gently caressed his thumb over her knuckle, trying to think of a way to reassure her without giving her false hope. Honoka noticed his dilemma and looked down with a sigh. The older of the two panicked, he didn't want to give her false hope, but he didn’t want to crush her spirits either. So instead he directed the conversation elsewhere. They talked about the leaves changing colour outside her window, about how he was doing with school and his internship, they talked about everything but their brother and the whole rescue mission. Eventually, a nurse came in and told Shirou that visiting hours were over, so he slung his bag over his shoulder, kissed Honoka on the head, squeezed her hand, and left the hospital room. The fact that she would break down and take down her strong facade after he was gone broke him. Nonetheless, he kept walking.

A few weeks later, the doctors had run various tests and determined Honoka’s powers stable. The therapy sessions she had been going to had helped her tremendously. Even if she still had relapses and her moments, she could function in society. So the doctors wanted to get her back on her feet as soon as possible, to try and have her be able to walk.

“Ms. Takahashi you need to take a break,” the doctor said while reaching her hand out to the collapsed girl. Honoka swatted her hand away, pulling herself up with the parallel bars determined to walk at least a meter more. Her legs had other plans and immediately gave out, causing her to fall again, prompting the doctor to again say, “Mr. Takahashi, you are taking a break, you won’t get anywhere collapsing.” At this point Honoka started to tear up with frustration, her legs were as useless as a charger that didn’t charge. They had been working for a month and so far she couldn't walk three meters without falling, and that's with her leaning on the bars like her life depended on them.

“...why?” the young Takahashi choked out.

“Why what, dear?”

She punched the cold, smooth floor, “Why won't the damn things do their job? I haven’t made any progress in a whole month? Why?”

“Ma’am, you're making incredible progress, these things just take time,”

“I-” the doctor interrupted her again.

“Listen to me. You haven’t given up yet, have you? You are so strong, and I don’t care if you can barely walk two meters, that is progress.” Honoka sniffed and looked at the woman. “Remember when we started? You couldn’t stand without collapsing out of breath.” The woman grabbed Honoka’s hands, “That's called progress”.

“Name….”

This took the doctor by surprise, “eh?”

“What- what's your name? I- I never g-got it”

“Giran, but you can call me Mai if you want.”

“Only if you quit with the Ms. Takahashi stuff,” Mai smiled and nodded her head.

Honoka then hoisted herself up from the ground, arms shaking and sweat covering her face, declaring that she wants to try once more. Mai sighed in disapproval, saying how she should rest, but Honoka ignored her with a look of determination.

<><><><><><><><><>

Resting in her hospital bed, a nurse knocked announcing that there was a visitor. Honoka looked towards the door, wiping her eyes. She told the nurse to let them in, curious to see who visited her. The door opened revealing a small gray-haired girl. Honoka immediately made herself look more perked up to not worry the young girl.

"Eri! What brings you into here?" Fake a smile, fake a smile, fake a smile-

Eri pulled herself onto the bed and sat next to the older girl's legs. Fiddling with her hospital gown she said, "Deku and Lemillion gave me a tour of your school yesterday," Midoriya and Mirio "And they talked about a festival..." Honoka cocked her head to the side, confused about her hesitation.

"Do you not want to go to the festival? If so that's perfectly alri-"

Eri shook her head, "No that's not it...." she took in a breath, "I was wondering if you are going to the festival......."

All air left Honoka's lungs at that moment, all her attention focused on not conveying any of the panic going on inside her. Could she go to the festival? She still got tired wheeling herself from her room to the exercise area. How could she manage to survive a whole-

"Yeah. If you want me there, I'll be there." Fake a smile, fake a smile, fake a smile.

Even if she didn't smile at those words, Eri visibly perked up, making Honoka's inner turmoil just a little more bearable.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Knees slamming onto the smooth tile took the rest of the pink-haired girl’s strength. Mai rushed to help her get into the wheelchair.

"Well, Ms. Ta- I mean, Honoka. You have been making amazing progress building your strength back up. I think we should call it a day for now though-"

"No." Honoka interrupted. "The festival is in a few days, I have to be strong enough to get through the day."

"But Honoka, you were severely injured. You can't expect yourself to be up and walking just a few weeks after you were healed"

She knew this. She knew that it would take a miracle for her to be walking by the point of the festival. It didn't stop her from trying though. Before, she would have laughed at the challenge. Ignoring anyone who would tell her that she couldn't do it. But Honoka soon learned that girl was dead, and she might never come back. Even so, the desire to see Eri happy motivated her to keep going. Nothing mattered to Honoka except seeing that girl smile.

"You still have a few days to keep building your strength. Don't get too upset." Mai said, trying to comfort the teenager. Honoka nodded and slowly wheeled herself out of the room.

<><><><><><><><><>

Shirou walked up to the gray door with "Takahashi, Honoka" written on it. Lifting his hand to knock before hearing his sister's voice. She was talking to someone else, the doctor, Shirou assumed. He waited until a tall man who looked oddly like Yoshi in a white coat walked out of the room. The pink-haired boy walked into the hospital room with the flowers in hand. He smiled at his sister, put the bouquet on the table, and sat in his usual chair next to the bed. Noticing his sister's lack of cheer worried the boy. So he grabbed her hand, gently rubbing her knuckle with his thumb. He knew that if she wanted to tell him what happened, she would say.

"The doctor said that I wouldn't be able to grow my wings back. They're gone. Forever. I-" she broke down into tears, gripping her brother's hand. Shirou was still processing the information. His sister? Having her wings taken from her? Suddenly anger flared up in him. Honoka had already been through enough, that angered him, yes. But what actually riled him up is that he couldn't do anything to help her. He was useless, a word he was becoming extremely familiar with recently. His sister's quiet crying reminded him of what was important at that moment. So he just let her cry and express all the emotions she needed until her tears had run dry. When Shirou got ready to leave, Honoka was passed out, the emotional rollercoaster taking a toll on her. So he just smiled sadly at her, kissed her forehead, and squeezed her hand gently. Wishing he could take away her pain and endure it himself.

The next morning Honoka was awakened by a nurse telling her it was time to get ready for the day. This greatly confused Honoka, because, for the past seven weeks, all she has done was eat, go to therapy, and watch tv. Only after the nurse brought in some clothes for her to wear did she remember what day it was. She carefully pulled on the jeans and sweatshirt, still sore from the therapy session the day before. She looked over at the flowers Shirou brought, all nice and put into a vase. She wanted to properly thank him for the gift when she saw him again. Sliding off of the bed into the wheelchair beside her, she texted Mirio, asking him where to meet up. He replied quickly telling her that a car would pick them up in front of the main entrance. With the newfound information, she wheeled herself to the elevator.

"So Eri, are you excited?" The cheerful blonde asked once they got into the car. The young girl just nodded her head, squeezing Honoka's hand. The older girl looked towards her senior and nodded. They both were determined to make this one of the best days in Eri's life.

<><><><><><><><><><><>

"Are you not going to see the performance Noka?" Eri asked when she realized that the pink-haired girl wasn't following them into the concert venue.

"I'm afraid that this wheelchair would get in the way, besides, Mirio can only hold one of us at a time." Honoka answered, "But don't worry, I'll be able to watch it from up here."

That seemed to be enough to persuade her to go with Mirio, as she took his hand and walked into the packed room. Honoka stared at the two, wishing she could go with them.

When the concert started, Honoka was in awe. The music brought up so many emotions that she didn't know were buried. Sadness, frustration, but also inspiration and happiness, were all things that she felt during the performance. By the end of the song, her emotions were so fried that she could only stare at the stage. Only when a little hand touched hers did she snap out of her shock.

She turned her head towards the person beside her and was greeted with a bright, smiling face.

"Noka! Noka! Noka! Did you see? The singer? She was like waaah," She raised her hands above her hands, "and- and the dancers were like woosh!" She started spinning in a circle, "And the sparkly dude was like nyooom!"

Honoka let out a laugh. A real, genuine laugh. A sound that no one had heard in ages it felt like. All the stress, anxiety, and sadness were all expelled from her chest. She smiled at the girl. Not a fake smile like all the other ones. No, this was a real smile. A smile that the eyes crinkled and just radiated pure joy. Eri climbed into Honoka's lap, and when she did, she was met with a bone-crushing hug. In Honoka's mind, if Eri could be happy, then there was hope in this world.

The rest of the festival went by smoothly. Eri wanted to do absolutely everything it seemed like. She dragged Mirio, Honoka, and later Midoriya and Shirou, to all the stalls that the different classes set up.

When they got back to the hospital, Honoka changed back into her hospital gown and got into her bed. And for the first time in months, she went to sleep without any fears of tomorrow.

Writing tag list: @kingdoms--night--star @jovialnoise

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment is All We Are (5.1/?)

This chapter is REALLY long so I split the text ver into 2 parts for Tumblr. 

AO3 link: here

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Story type: Romance/Drama/comedy

Pairing: Dazai x OC/reader (Dazai is endgame, fic is long-running and will also feature Kunikida x OC)

OC (Kusunoki Kyou) and Ability are based off of "The Story of Your Life," written by Ted Chiang, aka the basis of the Amy Adams movie "Arrival."

Rating: M for Blood/violence/themes of depression, anxiety, suicide TW: The second half of this story will deal more heavily with themes of suicide, depression/anxiety. *No major character death will occur*

Story follows OC as she joins the ADA, partners up with the detectives to solve various cases around Yokohama and develops feelings for Kunikida and Dazai (Dazai endgame).

Written for those who want an immersive ADA experience :)

Updates every Sunday evening around 6pm PST

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It wasn’t always like this.

Okay, maybe it was.

For as far back as I could remember, the visions had always been random, random events I would see of the future. If I was in physical contact with someone, the visions would be from their future. If I wasn’t, then the visions would be from my own life. Sometimes when I was really stressed, the visions of my future would actually come in the form of a dream, like in manga or novels.

Perhaps that was the best way to explain how The Story of Your Life worked; it was like taking out a book, keeping a finger against the pages and flipping until that finger finally caught on a single page. Then, flip open that page and read the first paragraph that jumps out; the book was the person’s life and the paragraph was the event, a single scene from that person’s future that I bore witness to.

The visions didn’t always show me death, blood and despair.

In fact, the very first vision I had was that of a puppy—a cute little thing my friend Kiko gifted me at my fifth birthday party. I must’ve seemed shockingly unsurprised (and possibly rude) to Kiko and her parents, but I couldn’t bring myself to explain that I’d seen her giving me this puppy half a year ago.

In retrospect, the puppy vision had been great. Sure, it took some of the fun out of a surprise gift but it was still a vision about a puppy. Honestly, if my visions were nothing more than glorified versions of baby animal videos, I’d be perfectly fine with that.

Maybe then, I wouldn’t be left with this overwhelming fear of my own Ability.

I used to be able to touch people, shake their hands, and hold them. In the beginning, “The Story of Your Life” only activated with a prolonged touch...

At first, “prolonged” meant more than ten seconds. That meant getting to play tag in kindergarten, going over to friends’ houses and having sleepovers. Normal stuff. My life didn’t even change all that much when ten seconds shrank to seven some time around middle school; I was able to play contact sports and go out on shopping trips without incident. Seven seconds became five halfway through high school. Again, no need to make lifestyle changes. I could still hold hands with friends, so long as it didn’t go on for too long and I was still able to have my first kiss without seeing even a hint of my boyfriend’s future.

And then, college. Five seconds was no longer doable. It became three at best and just before I’d become a shut-in, even an instantaneous touch was enough to trigger my Ability. By then, however, I’d gotten pretty used to having the visions, so I remained relatively unbothered when I’d see a vision of the barista breaking up with his girlfriend when I got my morning coffee. In other words, managing my Ability was no big deal.

Or so I thought.

About six months ago, my visions went from being an occasional distraction to a panic-inducing nightmare. I still wasn’t sure why...

Maybe it was just luck of the draw. I’d only seen good things, mostly, for the first ten-plus years at least: faraway cities, weddings, and graduations. Every once in a while there would be a failed exam or a lost wallet but overall nothing too out of the ordinary for an otherwise regular teenager to see.

Maybe it was just a sign of the times. As I got older, so did the people around me, so the more likely it was that they were entering that phase of their lives where things could start to go south. Or perhaps their previous lives were just catching up to them.

Or maybe, it was karma finally catching up to me. I’d be lying if I said that I’d never used my Ability for personal gain before. There were a few exams I managed to ace with the help of a well-timed touch of the hand and a few pitfalls I’d managed to avoid through a combination of sheer luck and a decently fast reflex. Perhaps six months ago, whatever granted me this power finally decided that I had a good run and it needed to end in the worst way possible...

And it all happened so quickly.

I never had much control over my visions to begin with and they never really bothered me before but suddenly, they were invading every part of my life—and with each vision I saw, the accuracy increased. My dreams became more vivid than ever; I would see things that had yet to occur and before I moved out, my college roommate would wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of my screams. I started passing out in the middle of class if someone so much as tapped my bare shoulder and when I came to again, it would be a minute before I remembered where I was and what I was doing. I was starting to consider seeking some kind of help until one day, I finally saw my first death.

It was horrible. I was at dinner with friends on a group date and I hit it off with one of the guys. He wanted to take me to the movies that weekend, and being relatively new to college and Yokohama in general, I agreed. Then, smiling, he’d held my hand just a millisecond too long and I saw it: him getting hit by a car while crossing the street.

I tried not to think about it too hard. Sometimes the vision were wrong. There were times when they’d been off by just a fraction of a second and because of that, I still had hope. Maybe there was a chance that things could change last minute, either by a miracle or by someone’s sheer force of will. But as time passed, my anxiety grew. He was running late and I didn’t like it. Finally, I spotted him at the intersection and, frantic, I waved him down just as the “walk” sign lit up and he started crossing the street.

That’s when it happened.

A single black vehicle, no license plate, ran a red... and ran into him.

I would remember seeing his body flying into the air for the rest of the semester.

After that, I started taking an alternate route to class, just to avoid going anywhere near the part of campus where he’d died. It wasn’t that people were whispering behind my back or accusing me of having a part of it—I just couldn’t handle the memory.

That was the first death.

The first.

It was as if some kind of floodgate had been opened. I had never seen death before that day but after...? Death became all I saw. I briefly shook hands with a foreign exchange student and immediately saw an image of a middle-aged woman lying in a hospital wing. The woman had been the student’s mother and I heard she died a week later. I could not have been responsible for the cancer that claimed her life but I spent weeks feeling guilty about it anyway. There was another incident where I accidentally, and literally, bumped into my English teacher on the way to class. I saw his brother being hit by a bus downtown. His death was announced a month later, on the morning news. When I saw it, I broke down in the middle of the cafeteria and my friend Eri had to take me home.

And it just kept happening.

I became afraid to touch people. I began wearing longer layers during the summer months and started keeping to myself. When even a brush of the hand or bumping into people on public transit could trigger a vision, I started wearing gloves. I got a lot of stares on the subway for wearing itchy winter gloves in the subtropical heat and the knitted fabric made gripping the overhead handholds difficult so I ended up changing to disposable nitrile instead. I got less stares for that but unfortunately, I eventually had to give up public transit entirely when I got squished between two tourists and had a panic attack in the middle of the car.

But giving up public transportation put me in a tough spot. My dorm was pretty far from campus and I didn’t know how to drive. If I really wanted to, I could walk but that would take far too long and make for far too many chances to see another person’s death. And I really didn’t want to ask anyone for a ride because that would just mean more questions and more explanations I wasn’t willing to give.

And yet somehow, I managed to make it work for a time, waking up early to go to class, avoiding hangouts in-between classes and running back to my dorm as soon as I got a chance. But I was still attending classes with lots of people in a crowded lecture hall and living with roommates in a dormitory building. Ultimately, the stress of trying to avoid people while also trying to keep up with increasingly difficult classes caused me to start having nightmares. They were frequent and they were bad. And I knew that these were all things that would someday happen to me: me and a friend being held hostage in an abandoned apartment building, a woman in a suit and sunglasses pointing two machine guns directly at my face, a man didn’t recognize growing steadily colder in my arms as I screamed for him not to leave me...

That following morning, I woke up sobbing—crying as if I wished I was the one who had died instead. When my roommate tried to comfort me, I jerked away out of instinct and immediately realized I’d made a mistake.

And that was it.

I couldn’t it take any more.

About a week later, I left the dorm and found myself a tiny studio apartment, one that I could still afford on my shoestring budget and more importantly, one where I could live completely alone.

Soon after, I dropped out of college and became a shut-in. In true shut-in fashion, I shunned all contact from classmates and friends in case someone came to visit and decide they needed to barge in because they couldn’t—shouldn’t—do such a thing. My apartment had become both my sanctuary and my jail. So long as nothing changed around me, none of the horrible visions would come to pass.

Thankfully, a month into my new lifestyle, the nightmares stopped.

So long as nobody came near me, I wouldn’t have to witness another death with my waking eyes...

I still remembered the night I decided to stop going to class. It was the same night I looked out the windows and saw my own reflection, touched my fingers to my face and pulled them away, confirming that it was indeed blood and not salt tears that dripped down my cheeks. I started avoiding mirrors from that day on and threw myself fully into watching anime, joining fandoms and drawing commissions, anything to distract myself from the invasive, self-destructive thoughts that grew stronger whenever I looked into a reflection of my own eyes.

Yes... Staying was the only solution. If I never stepped out of the apartment again, the world would be spared the sight of my hollow eyes and bloody tears... And I—I would be spared the curse of witnessing things I should never have seen to begin with.

***

“So you’ve been holed up in your apartment for the last six months doing...”

Kunikida frowned, tapping his pen against his chin.

“What exactly? Rent in Yokohama isn’t cheap. How have you been supporting yourself?”

“Commissions,” I explained. “I started watching a lot of anime and playing video games and fans pay good money for drawings of their favorite characters, original characters or even pictures of themselves in a stylized form.”

Summing up my Ability meant practically telling these two my entire life story, not just recalling the events of this morning, and I had to commend the detectives’ patience for sitting through what I would’ve considered a pretty long-winded explanation. Now I was even telling them how I’d stretched my budget and supplemented my allowance.

I held out my hand.

“If I could have some paper and something to write with, I could show you, if you like...?”

Dazai immediately ripped Kunikida’s notebook and pen out of his hands. Ignoring his partner’s protests, he held them out to me and, throwing his arm out to keep Kunikida from taking back his own things, sat back to watch me draw. Within seconds, a coarse outline appeared on the pages, followed by facial features: eyes, nose, hair—a minute later, I handed back Kunikida’s notebook, a quick, rudimentary pen sketch of each detective on its two open pages.

As one, they leaned in to stare at it.

“This is pretty good,” Kunikida said, looking up at me. He squinted down at the page, tracing the lines with his fingers, mumbling, “Does my hair really look like that?”

“It is... isn’t it?” Dazai agreed, rubbing his chin.

As Kunikida puzzled over the drawing, a mischievous glint appeared in Dazai’s dark eyes.

“Kusunoki-san... Have you ever considered a career as a sketch artist?”

At once, Kunikida shot him a warning look.

“Don’t even think about it, Dazai,” he growled, “Making decisions without the President’s approval—”

“I’m not making a decision, only a suggestion,” Dazai declared. “And what’s wrong with a good suggestion?”

“Dazai...”

Ignoring Kunikida entirely, he turned to me.

“Really, I don’t know how we survived like this for so long. We’re a detective agency, one of the best in the city and yet, we don’t have a sketch artist... It’s a shame, don’t you agree, Kusunoki-san? What do you think? Interested in a change of career?”

“Wait... are you asking me to join you?” I asked warily, looking from one detective to the other. “Why would you want someone like me? I can’t fight. I don’t even know how to shoot a gun.”

“I’m asking you,” Dazai said pointedly, “if you would be interested in becoming a sketch artist. I mean, it just so happens that we are in dire need of one—(“No one said that!” Kunikida roared)—and you happen to have the exact skill set we are looking for! Not to mention you’re an Ability User... Just think of all the people you could help.”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, looking away, “Wouldn’t someone like me be more of a burden than an asset? I can’t even control my Ability, much less use it to help people—”

“But what if you could control it?”

I froze. Having had no control of my Ability for my entire life, the possibility hadn’t even occurred to me...

“There’s a way?” I asked, looking back up just as Dazai’s grin turned into a triumphant smirk. “How?”

“I could tell you,” he drawled, his smirk growing even wider, “But it’s a closely guarded secret. You’d have to join us if you want to find out... Of course, I’d be more than happy to vouch for you if you’d like to apply—”

“Dazai—!! You—!”

Kunikida was on his feet.

“We can’t just offer a job to every stray Ability User we rescue from the Port Mafia! Atsushi was one thing but—”

“Oh my, so you’d be perfectly fine sending a nice girl like her back into the jaws of the Port Mafia? Really, I thought better of you, Kunikiiiiiida-kun—”

“That’s not what I said!”

“So you agree, we should take her in?”

Kunikida’s face was in his hands.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to help, but it’s not our decision to make! And besides, she’s clearly been through enough, what makes you think she would agree to—”

“I’ll do it.”

Kunikida’s mouth dropped open. He looked stunned.

“You will—? Wait, no, I never said I agreed—”

“Let me apply,” I said, looking him firmly in the eyes. “I want to help people. I’ve always wanted to. Isn’t that what you do here at the Agency? Use your special Abilities to make their lives better?”

“That’s true,” Kunikida admitted, folding his arms over his chest, “But this can be a dangerous job. Especially for a non-combatant. You almost died today! Why do you want to help people so bad? In fact, let me ask you...”

His eyes flashed from behind his glasses, his expression fierce.

“Why did you go so far for a neighbor with whom you weren’t particularly close?”

I glared right back.

“I had to save her.”

“But it sounds like you already did, when you pulled her off the sidewalk—”

“That’s not good enough!” I burst out, startling Kunikida. “How could I say I saved her, truly saved her, if I knew she was going to die in a week and I did nothing to stop it?”

My hands clenched into fists.

“That doesn’t count. Saving someone means seeing it through to the end, to fully committing yourself and doing what’s right! Isn’t that what you did for me? What both of you did to bring me here today?”

Kunikida was struck dumb. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Dazai got to his feet.

“I think it’s about time I take Kusunoki-san back to her apartment,” he said, making his way to the door, his long tanned trench coat swishing elegantly as he moved.

He patted Kunikida on the shoulder.

“I’ll let you think about what we should tell the President later.”

Kunikida instantly flushed an angry, embarrassed pink.

“Dazai, you—”

Ignoring his partner, Dazai called out to me.

“Kusunoki-san? I won’t be taking you back to your original apartment tonight. We’ll be going to one of the Agency’s safe houses instead. After everything that’s happened, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Port Mafia had staked out your building and had someone ready and waiting for you at home. And if you’re wondering, Yamazaki-san is on her way to her nephew’s place in Nagano, so you won’t need to worry about her.”

“But what about my things?” I asked, “What am I gonna tell the landlord?”

“It’s already been taken care of,” Dazai replied, opening the door for me. “Shall we?”

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/the-law-of-cause-and-effect-in-action/

The Law of Cause and Effect in Action

The Law of Cause and Effect in Action

By Hare in the Moon Astrology

Sunday July 12 2020

A heads up! The Law of Cause and Effect in Action…

This week’s astrology means business. The eclipse tunnel is active until the New Moon on July 20th -feel the waves after waves of continuous Dismantling, Overwriting and Disclosure, dramatic ebbs and flows and palpable magnetic shifts.

Those 3 eclipses one after the other are taking a real emotional toll and your resilience is being tested over and over. The June 21st Solar eclipse was in Cancer, last Sunday July 5th’s lunar eclipse fell across Capricorn/Cancer and the approaching New Moon on June 20th is in Cancer which means that issues of personal safety and security are taking a battering.

The waves during these constant magnetic shifts create dramatic ebbs and flows, exhausting your energy field, as it expands and contracts to harmonise with your inner and outer environment. Prescribe yourself earthing, grounding, extra hydration and as much rest as you can get.

On Sunday 12th, Mercury stations to turn direct in Cancer followed by warrior Mars in Aries encountering Chiron on Wednesday 14th.Mars tends to throw a lit match into whatever pile of tinder it finds, so things can escalate quickly, for better or worse.

Unconscious Mars manifests as anger, volatility, aggression, so choose courage, initiative and Skilful Will instead of Strong Will Mars’ conjunction with Chiron means his presence will be felt through Chironic themes – health, healing, chronic struggles, human fallibility and teaching what you need to learn.

One possibility is that COVID numbers could surge again in July, especially with Mars stoking the Chiron in Aries fire and amplified by the lunar eclipse.

Raising the stakes politically and personally, the Sun opposes Jupiter on July 14th, then Pluto on July 15th in the government’s sign of Capricorn before making a square to Disruptor Eris -the mechanism behind the lockdown and suspension of life as we knew it.

Finally, Venus in Gemini opposes the karmic Great Attractor, the most potent source of electromagnetic radiation in the known universe, which bends both space and time in a simultaneous view of the past, present and future. In the 3D world, dilemmas of Fate and Free Will increase such as those who refuse to protect others by wearing a mask or by breaking lockdown restrictions.

Don’t be attached to outcomes or to making anything happen or to understanding these new Freedom Codes- the new light is teaching you to align with the Creator State and be here Now.

Get your free July 12-19 2020 Week Ahead + Personal Sign Forecasts at: www.hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk

New! August’s astrology takes us right into the eye of the storm……for the inside track ,sign up to my August 5D Report:” The Writing on the Wall”:www.hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk

*******

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Commentary from The First Contact Ground Crew 5dSpiritual Healing Team:

Feel Blocked, Drained, Fatigued, Restless, Nausea, Achy, Ready to Give Up? We Can Help! We are preparing everyone for a Full Planetary Ascension, and provide you with the tools and techniques to assist you Home Into The Light. The First Contact Ground Crew Team, Will Help to Get You Ready For Ascension which is Underway. New Spiritual Sessions have now been created for an Entire Family, including the Crystal Children; Group Family Healing & Therapy. We have just began these and they are incredible. Highly recommend for any families struggling together in these times of intense changes. Email: motherofallcreation@lovehaswon.org for more information or to schedule an emergency spiritual session. We can Assist You into Awakening into 5d Reality, where your experience is one of Constant Joy, Wholeness of Being, Whole Health, Balanced, Happy and Abundant. Lets DO THIS! Schedule Your Etheric Surgery With Mother God Below, Including TWO sessions with a recommended donation of $88.88

⭐ Etheric Surgery with Mother & Father of ALL Creation ~ It’s Miracle Time! ~

https://www.lovehaswon.org/sessions/etheric-surgery/

⭐Crystal Schools for Rainbow Children:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/crystal-schools-for-rainbow-children/

⭐Schedule an Amazing Holistic Healing Session:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/holistic-healing-session/

⭐Call to Action Ascension Session:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/call-to-action-ascension-session/

⭐ LoveHasWon Clothing Line:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/t-shirts-apparel/

🌈 If you wish to participate, collaborate or coordinate with us on projects or services that are similar to the mission of Ascension for Mother Earth & Humanity, contact us. It is an Honor to connect with those of the Heart, in Unity Consciousness.

Love Always,

Mother & Father of all Creation & The First Contact Ground Crew Team.

Twin Flame Spiritual Intuitive Ascension Session: https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-twin-flame-spiritual-intuitive-ascension-session/

Request an Astonishing Astrology Session: https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-astrology/

Connect with MotherGod~Mother of All Creation on Skype @ mothergoddess8

Receive THE TRUE STORY OF CREATION, The Tree Of Life Book ~ https://gaiaswholehealingessentials.org/collections/higher-consciousness-transmutations/products/lovehaswon-tree-of-life-book

Receive The LoveHasWon Ascension Guide: https://gaiaswholehealingessentials.org/collections/higher-consciousness-transmutations/products/lovehaswon-ascension-guide

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  We also accept Western Union and Moneygram. You may send an email to michaelsilver@lovehaswon.org for more information.

***If you wish to send Donations by mail or other methods, email us at motherofallcreation@lovehaswon.org  or  michaelsilver@lovehaswon.org***

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