#eris fourth house

[sunkissedchld]

𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒 (𝟏𝟑𝟔𝟏𝟗𝟗) 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐈. 𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒

asteroid eris is named after the greek goddess of discord and strife. eris is known to be a troublemaker and is often credited with starting and sustaining the trojan war. although eris is often associated with creating problems for people, liana miate asserts that hesiod (an ancient greek poet) splits eris into two: a younger version who aligns with sowing discord for no reason and an older version who intends to bring about competition and push people to go beyond their set limits. 

in astrology, eris follows her mythological roots and represents areas of life where we can encounter disruptions, major losses, and chaos. eris can also tell of where we face injustices and where we need to learn to stand up for ourselves.

asteroid eris mainly makes itself known as it moves and creates transiting aspects, but for this post i will be focusing on how it functions in one’s birth chart. (if you do want me to analyze how it may work as it makes aspects to planets and other object - let me know).

𝐈𝐈. 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒

asteroid eris has an orbital period of about 560 years, so it moves through the signs really slowly. this asteroid has been in the sign of aries since the mid-1920s and won’t be in taurus until 2048 where it will stay until around 2146. with this in mind, i will only explain the way the signs aries and taurus will influence the way asteroid eris can function.

𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦

eris in aries could be tumultuous. there could be more of an emphasis on literal war and combat which makes sense in my opinion given the world wars were in and around the time period of this asteroid being in aries. i also see eris in aries being more likely to fight back against the chaos the asteroid can bring; if older eris wants people to learn to stand up for themselves, then aries is the perfect sign for that to occur. again, we can look back in history to see revolutions like the civil rights movement, the vietnam war protests, the breaking up of the british empire and more occur while this asteroid was in aries. of course, these things happen all throughout history, but i want to specify how often this seems to happen while in the specific period of eris in aries. asteroid eris in aries seems to function as dealing with catastrophes head-on with the idea of pushing through the tough times instead of succumbing to them. while discord may hit hard; the collective will rise back with more strength than what was had before.

𝗧𝗔𝗨𝗥𝗨𝗦

eris in taurus could bring about a sort of predictable chaos. build ups to conflict may be obvious, but when it occurs it could destroy people’s comfortability and especially bring havoc to finances. conflicts could last for long periods of time, and people overall could fall into a “woe is me” attitude when it comes to figuring out how to move past catastrophes; instead of figuring out how to advocate for one’s self or the collective when facing injustices - those born under eris in taurus could try to wait things out. the idea of fighting back or advocating for oneself could take a while to be viable, but once it becomes an option i could see people putting up a hard fight.  asteroid eris in taurus could be reluctant to face conflict head on, but once decided to it will be obstinate on its course. i’m reminded of the phrase “when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object”.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒

𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗧

you could go through drastic physical changes. if you were to get into plastic surgery, fillers, botox, etc. it may not bode well for you; your body could react negatively to the treatments and/or you may not look as well as you wanted to. you could also struggle with your identity or feeling like you don't truly know yourself or what you want to do in life. you could go through "phases" or looking and/or dressing a certain way. you could feel as if no one understands you, or as if the way you view yourself is vastly different from how others see and understand you. people may not be able to come to a consensus about who they think you are as a person. it could take you a while to find out "who you are", and your body may change often throughout your life. those with eris in the first house probably need to come to terms with the way they look instead of trying to constantly change their appearance, and they also likely need to learn how to settle down with one way of living or learn to embrace that vastness of who they want to be instead of trying to put themselves into a box.

𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗗

money and other financial successes could easily come and go out of your life. you may be the type of person who loses things more easily than the average person, and you may find it hard to retain money and possessions. during tense transits, you could have items repossessed or even stolen from you. your routines could be hard to maintain, or you could find random incidents keep you from being able to have one. it could be easy for you to break bad habits (but again, could be hard for you to maintain good ones). you could find yourself struggling to keep jobs or find that you're drawn to jobs where every day is different and unpredictable. you may need to learn how to stay on top of what it is you want and need to do (ie. writing down a schedule, having someone hold you accountable, etc.). you may need to learn how to say no to yourself when it comes to spending money and work on having a savings account you can't touch at all. it may be better for you to make large purchases with cash instead of setting up payments, so you can keep possessions long-term.

𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗗

you could find yourself being ghosted often and/or you could have trouble maintaining contact with others. you could be "horrible with communication" or even technology to an extent. you could find that people misunderstand you or they think you're more harsh in your words than you intend to be. you could also have a tumultuous relationship with your siblings - maybe you've always found it hard to connect with them, or you go long periods of time without talking. your early education may have been interrupted in some way (having to move away, change schools, etc.). you could also have issues with transportation more often than others like your car breaking down randomly or always being late to events due to unreliability. learning how to advocate for yourself will be a major key to dealing with this eris placement. there's a need to learn how to "speak up" and deal with confrontation without running away and also without arguing. you may find it better to try leaving early to account for possible transportation issues. there's a need to learn to set boundaries with your siblings also in order to maintain the connection.

𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗛

you could have an unstable home life. maybe you had (or you do) change living situations often, or your relationship with your family might not be the best. your childhood might’ve been fractured as a result of family issues. people, areas, or things you find comfort in may seem like they always get “ruined” at some point (ie. if you have a comfort show it gets canceled or the writing starts going downhill, a celebrity you like ends up being very problematic, etc.). you may feel as if you have no control over your emotions, or whenever you try to control your emotions you end up breaking down anyways. you may even find it hard to trust your instincts. you may also find it hard to create and maintain relationships with women - especially your mother. you may need to learn how to come to terms with the fact your childhood wasn’t as good as you wanted (or as good as it should’ve been); you might even have to realize you need to put yourself and your needs above your family due to their issues. you may need to learn to step back when it comes to parasocial relationships; figuring out it’s okay to find comfort in things or people, but not putting them on a pedestal anymore.

𝗙𝗜𝗙𝗧𝗛

eris in the fifth house is also a contender for having an unstable childhood. maybe you weren’t allowed to behave like a child, or your childhood abruptly ended due to unforeseen circumstances. when engaging in creative avenues, you may encounter blocks often - in terms of imagination, originality, or physical blocks. you might even find that the art you create gets messed up in some way (ie. you delete a song or a section of a song you were making, you mix the wrong paints together, etc.). you may spontaneously lose interest in hobbies, or you’re prevented from being able to do them (ie. it rains on a day you planned to golf, you run out of yarn when you were planning to knit, etc.). with this placement, it may also seem like your romantic life is never going anywhere; this is another house that may see people ghosting them, or when you go out on dates they could be horrendous. you may need to learn how to create things out of your messes when it comes to creative endeavors; there’s a need to learn how to “roll with the punches” so to speak. you may find it best to engage in multiple hobbies instead of just one or finding a way to have someone hold you accountable for the creative work you want to create. there’s a need to allow yourself to go back to being the child you never got to be at some points.

𝗦𝗜𝗫𝗧𝗛

you may be the type of person who always has health issues or some sort of injury. when you try to create good health habits you may find it hard to stay on track, and there may even be instances where you unintentionally break your habits (ie. you’re counting calories and want to stay under a certain amount but by day three you’ve forgotten you were dieting this way, you’re forced to work overtime one night and it just happens to be one of the days you’ve set aside for weight training, etc.). you may lose items easily, and when you try to help others you may have a way of making things worse (ie. you tried to help someone cook, but you burned part of the meal). you may need to advocate for and pay attention to your health and your body more than the average person. similar to other placements, having other people hold you accountable may be helpful for you to maintain habits you want to implement.  you may find it best to keep items in the same place each time you don’t have them in your hand, so you don’t lose things as often. when helping others, try to have someone check your work to be sure you’re providing aid the right way.

𝗦𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗛

you could find yourself entering toxic relationships often or at least relationships that often never go anywhere. you might find yourself being ghosted by people for seemingly no reason or drama arising out of relationships you have from out of nowhere. contracts you write up or engage in could fall apart easily (ie. you receive a job offer, but it’s randomly rescinded for no reason; you have everything in order to move to a new apartment, but you get rejected out of nowhere), or they could cause more headaches than they’re worth. you might find people often don’t give enough in their relationships with you - like you’re the one running the show, making all the plans to be together, spending all the money, and they’re only along for the ride, or they only focus on what they can gain from you. you may need to learn how to have respect for yourself when it comes to relationships of all kinds. learning to not set yourself on fire in order to keep someone else from being cold, demanding equality in partnerships, etc. with this placement in aries i could even see a need to step back from relationships in some way - to allow or force others to pull their weight instead of making everything happen on your own. there’s a need to learn how to advocate for yourself and your needs in partnerships and contracts.

𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗛

you could feel as if you’re always going through some sort of transformation - almost as if your life itself or life circumstances are always unstable. when you try to share with others you could find your kindness is not appreciated, so you may feel reluctant to give people money or take money from others for seemingly no reason. whenever you try to create deep connections with people it could feel like things never work out or always fall through (ie. you want to have a business partner, but the person backs out at the last minute, you need someone to cosign on a loan for you, but no one is willing). also, with this placement you may feel as if people leave randomly; this could range from being ghosted, them not putting in effort to maintain a relationship with you, conversations going stale to literal death taking people away from you without warning. additionally, your long term assets may be unstable. there could be a need to learn how to let go of things and people once they’ve served their purpose in your life; some people are meant to be present for only moments or periods of time in your life as opposed to throughout the whole journey. there’s also a need to stay on top of contracts and long-term investments; you could find that lower risk investments work best for you. there’s also a need to learn how to share yourself with others and allow others to do the same with you even through times where you may have been betrayed - learning from your mistakes is important in this area.

𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗛

this is another placement that could encounter issues with transportation since the ninth house deals with travel. going further though, you could often experience disruptions when going on trips or vacations (ie. forgetting your passport, wallet, or other important item; flights being canceled or delayed for no reason, having “bad” experiences when you visit other areas). this could also be an indicator of struggling in areas of higher academia; this could be in regards to the material feeling overwhelming to learn or things always going wrong during the school year (ie. experiencing life changing events that make it hard for you to attend class, having to drop classes or finding it hard to create a schedule that works, etc.). connections to religion could also be unstable; you could feel uncomfortable with the idea of religion because of issues with religious institutions. you may find that people often try to suppress your culture or way of living, or you could find it hard to connect with your culture because people push you away from it in some way. there’s a need to be proactive when it comes to the way you travel – opting to leave too early instead of even on time, checking your luggage twice and three times over, etc. you may need to advocate for yourself more when interacting with higher institutions like college or religious places, and there’s also a need to be proud of your culture and views despite people’s attempts to erase them.

𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗛

when it comes to receiving recognition for your achievements you could find that you’re often looked over. your career path may be hard for you to narrow down, or you could find you’re let go from jobs without warning when everything seems to be fine from your point of view. you may jump from job to job or be promoted and demoted to certain positions for no reason. you could encounter extreme highs and lows when it comes to your reputation; it might even be possible that your reputation is not consistent amongst people, and it could be hard for you to control it. when you’re in positions of power you may find that people often undermine you or refuse to take you seriously - especially men. on that note, you may find it hard to create and maintain relationships with men (especially your father). you could find people always find a way to criticize you or tell you all the work you do is wrong no matter what you do. there’s a need to possibly embrace whatever reputation people assign to you instead of trying to control the narrative or change who you are to appease everyone. there is also a need to demand recognition and praise when you know you deserve it - possibly even walking away from job opportunities when you know you’re being lowballed. there’s a need to maintain your sense of self trusting that the truth of who you are will guide you towards those who will appreciate you.

𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗛

it could be hard for you to maintain friendships and connections with the collective and other groups in general. you could find yourself being iced out or being the “odd one out” when you try to fit in. technology may fail on your frequently, or you may feel like it doesn’t like you (ie. you find it hard to connect to wifi, you always have phone or computer issues, etc.). you may feel as if (or told) that you’re not as helpful as you think you are when it comes to collective situations (ie. group projects). you could find your ideas and dreams for the future often don’t work out, or you find them hard to maintain. there’s partially a need to embrace your individuality - to come to terms with the fact that you will eventually find a group that aligns with you and won’t push you out or make you feel othered. there’s a need to keep putting yourself out there even when you feel like it never works out. there’s also a need to maintain hope – for the future, for connecting with others, and when it comes to interacting with technology.

𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗙𝗧𝗛

this is another placement that would indicate feeling as if you’re always going through some sort of transformation or ending in life. you could feel as if your spiritual life is in constant chaos (ie. having times where you’re clear on what your journey is and then suddenly feeling like you have no clue what you’re doing; being able to communicate with your guides clearly and then suddenly hearing radio silence, etc.). you could feel as if you don’t “truly” or “intimately” know yourself. you could find that your subconscious activates at random times and could cause trouble when you least expect it. you could feel as if your fate changes quickly going from having great luck to none at all. when it’s time to end certain cycles in your life you may find it hard to let go, or you may feel as if things end abruptly leaving little space for you to accept these endings. there’s a need to learn to be okay with abrupt endings or the idea of never receiving closure – finding a way to maintain peace even if this doesn’t happen. there’s also a need to take fate into your own hands instead of always being passive (or learning to be passive when it’s necessary). there’s a need to be open to ambiguity as opposed to running away from it.

[yourejinx]

Late Nights

Azriel x F.Reader

Warnings: NSFW, smut, +18, minors dni. Oral, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v. A bit of fluff? I think that's it.

Author's note: I wanted to try something different, this is my first time writing content like this so please be gentle but also PLEASE FEEDBACK.

Word count: 4k

It was the fourth night in a row that you were deprived from sleep, cursed with listening Cass and Nesta fuck like rabbits in the room next to yours. In all honesty, you loved your friends and were absolutely thrilled they were enjoying and exploring the extent of their relationship, they deserved it after everything they went through. You just wished they had a little consideration for your poor ears and sleeping schedule. 

You had been working your ass off the past few weeks, Rhys had you and Az going around the courts every other day, plus you've been dealing with Eris, since you seemed to be the only member in the Inner Circle that the Autumn heir tolerated just fine. So you had your plate full, and wished for a little peace and quiet at your own home. But your friends had other plans.

Nesta let out a particularly loud moan that you clearly heard through the too thin wall. It made you grimace and you decided you had enough. Huffing, you tossed the sheets off your body, grabbed the shirt you had stolen from the shadowsinger years ago and opened the door, putting on the clothing while you made your way down the corridor. If you were awake, then Azriel had to be too, he didn't miss a thing happening in this house. 

You didn't bother knocking on his door, you were way past that line with him. Azriel was your best friend, your confident, the person who you most trusted in the entire world, and vice versa. You were too comfortable with each other to bother with politeness. You flung open the door to his bedroom, making your way inside and slamming the door behind you dramatically. The room was dark except for the dim fae light hanging on his bedside table, Azriel had put down the book he was reading to stare at you amusedly. 

"Good evening to you too." He uttered playfully.

You didn't reply, just scowled, walked up to the other side and plopped down face first on the bed beside him. He chuckled. 

"Finding it hard to sleep?" He asked, setting the book aside. 

"They are insufferable." You mumbled around the sheets. They smelled like him, an instant comfort for your tired mind. "Agh! You can hear them from here too! How are you not bothered?!?" You lift your head from his pillows to look at him exasperatedly. 

Azriel smiled somewhat apprehensive at you. "I'm kind of used to it by now." He shrugged. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, smirking. "Kinky."

He rolled his eyes feigning annoyance. "You have no idea, sweetheart." His voice was a deep purr as he smirked back at you. 

You lifted one eyebrow in amusement. There was this recurrent thing between you two, where you usually teased and flirted with each other but never dared to actually do something about it. It was just for fun right? You were friends who just liked messing around as a joke. Always dancing the line between friends and something more, it was a dangerous game for sure, but you had to admit you loved the thrill of it. 

“Is that so? Oh please, do enlighten me then.” You shot back, lying more comfortably on his bed. Arms behind your head, eyes fixed on him. 

Hazel gaze traveled all the way down to the now exposed skin of your upper thighs, your movement had caused the shirt – his shirt– to ridden up a little, revealing more of your legs and the underline of a pair of lacy black panties. His pulse spiked slightly at the sight. You didn’t seem to notice, he averted his eyes before you could catch him shamelessly staring at you.  

There was a glint in your eyes when he caught your stare again, a slight flush to your cheeks, but he didn’t back off. 

“Curious now, are we?” He tilted his head, resting his cheek on his fist to properly look at you. 

“Ah, don’t flatter yourself, pretty boy. You brought it up, are you backing out?” 

Azriel opened his mouth to respond, a playful spark dancing in his golden eyes, when—

“Fuck, Ness!” Cassian’s growl reached both your ears as clear as day. There was a beat of silence after that where you just stared at each other stunned, then you broke in a fit of laughter. 

“Seriously Az, I don’t know how you endure it, if I have to listen to them one more night I’m gonna lose my shit. I haven’t slept in days,” you sighed, rubbing your eyes. “and neither have you, it seems.” you pointed out, poking open one eye to stare at him. Azriel had laid back facing you, wings tucked behind his back, shoulders involuntarily curving inwards, a sign of tiredness. You noted the dark circles under his eyes. 

“I look that shitty, huh?” he smiled tiredly.  

“Never.” You stated matter-of-factly. “You’re always pretty.” 

It was his turn to blush then, heat rapidly crawling to his face and neck. He could handle your flirting, your teasing, but he didn’t know how to react when you blatantly called him pretty. It just sounded so…sincere, coming from you. It made his heart flutter in his chest. It was no secret that he found you attractive, he thought he made that clear, but there was more to that, wasn’t there? He didn’t just think you were hot, he thought you were beautiful, smart, and kind, and it freaked the hell out of him to acknowledge all those things because that would mean that he wanted more. More than being your friend, but it terrified him to ruin your friendship. If you wanted him in the same way, you would’ve said something by now, right? You’ve known each other for years. 

“What are you thinking about?” you whispered, breath fanning across his face. He hadn’t noticed how close you were. He could feel the heat radiating from your body. 

“I’m thinking that we should sleep.” He answered, but made no move whatsoever. You smiled at him and nodded, making to reach the faelight to turn it off. You angled your body half above him and stretched to the bedside table, hair barely grazing the hot skin of his torso. Gods, you were practically straddling him, his mind taking him to all sorts of indecent scenarios. Your breasts were just a breadths away from his mouth, he could make out the perked nipples under the shirt. He loved seeing you in his clothes, but right now he wanted nothing more than to rip the fabric out of you. Azriel swallowed dryly. 

What was his fucking problem? It wasn’t like you hadn’t shared a bed before, he blamed his friend’s heated session down the hall. He had to admit it had gotten him a bit railed up, especially with you on his bed, smelling like him. It was hard to ignore the growing want in his veins. 

“Goodnight, Az.” You said, pulling back a little to look at him through half lidded eyes, even in the dark. Was it possible you were feeling the same? or was it just tiredness in your features? 

“Goodnight, angel.” He whispered back. If you leaned in any closer, he swears he’d kiss you, consequences be damned. But you slid right back onto your side, back facing him. 

Azriel lets out a quiet, frustrating sigh, reaching an arm out to wrap around your waist pulling you close. More moaning can be heard outside his bedroom, all the way to Cassian’s room. He feels slightly jealous. 

Suddenly you snorted, “We’ll sleep better if we get past the nghs, ohh, right there Cass!” you moaned, imitating Nesta. Azriel inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the way your little whimpering had shot straight to his dick. And the bite of jealousy he felt at hearing Cassian’s name falling so sinfully from your lips.

He scented the slight change in your scent though, a pinch of sweet arousal that got him mouth-watering. It had gotten to your head too, the display of passion from your friends a few bedrooms away. Azriel debated whether it was wise to do something right now, to taste the waters maybe. But you rolled onto your back again, facing the ceiling and letting out a frustrated groan. 

“Someone has to teach them though, make them uncomfortably listen for once. Maybe I’ll go to Rita’s tomorrow, choose a random male and bring him home. Beat them at their own game.” 

“No.” Azriel growled. You turned your head to the side, looking at him and were met with the dark, lustful haze in his eyes. You felt your core pulse in response. Fuck, why was he so hot?

“What do you mean"no "?" You asked, feeling your tongue paper dry  in your mouth.

“Why wait until tomorrow, if you can beat them tonight?”

The offer hung there, unspoken, for a few heartbeats. You felt your face grow hot, felt liquid fire pooling at your belly at the mere suggestion. He hadn’t even touched you and yet he got you all hot and bothered with a few words. You licked your lips, staring at him, shirtless, hair tousled over the pillow, shadows dancing dangerously over his shoulder. As if expecting your answer. He was a sight for sore eyes. It had to be illegal to be this beautiful. 

“I’m game if you are, sweetheart.” There it was, the deep purr again that had you clenching your legs together. He noticed the shift of course, smirking smugly. 

“Haha, very funny.” you said, huffing. 

“I’m not playing.” He pulled you closer, pressing you against his front. You gasped, feeling the not so subtle bulge in his sweatpants, rubbing against the side of your thigh.

“Is this why you kept me at an arm's length tonight?” you chuckled, but he could hear the breathlessness in your voice. “So I wouldn't find out they got you all worked up?” 

“No, this isn’t their doing, angel. It's all yours.” He dared a hand down your waist, past your hips, to ghost over the skin under the hem of your shirt. You shuddered. “Tell me to stop and I will. It's okay.” 

He lifted the fabric ever so slightly, inching closer to the waistband of your underwear. 

You turned fully to him, chests pressed together, breasts dragging against the firm muscle with every breath. 

“Fuck it, let’s show them.” You breathed into his mouth before crashing your lips together in a searing kiss. 

Azriel groaned low against your mouth, grip tighter bringing your hips flushed together, and kissed you back with fervor. Your hands found purchase in the dark locks at the back of his neck, tugging gently and urging him impossibly closer. He pushed you onto your back, knees parting on their own accord to accommodate him between your legs. It was all so hot and messy. Like you both have been waiting for this for a very long time, it made you throb with need. The thought of him wanting you as much as you wanted him. 

You rolled your hips onto him, desperate for any sort of friction, moaning loudly when the clothed tip of his cock catched on your clit deliciously. Azriel took his chance to slip his tongue inside your mouth, exploring every inch and taste of you, kissing you deeply, desperately. He wanted more, he wanted everything. A wave of arousal licked down his spine, your lips were sweet and addictive, he wondered — needed to know— if other parts of you tasted as sweet. 

He kissed your jaw, your neck, biting and licking his way down to your collarbones. His right hand came to fondle with the generous swell of your breast over the shirt, pinching at the perked nub. The smell of your arousal hit him at a full force, Azriel felt like a youngling in heat rutting his cock at your core. Fuck, he couldn't help himself, he was so enamoured with the sounds he was getting out of you. 

“Take this off,” he ordered, tugging at your shirt. “If I do it I may rip the damn thing off of you, and I love seeing you in my shirt.” 

You obeyed without a second thought, too lost in the feeling of him already. He invaded all your senses, his touch sending your skin on fire, his scent sparkling pleasure bubbling in your insides. The rich tone of his voice had you feeling all tingly and sensitive. Gods, you wanted him everywhere. 

With the offensive clothing now discarded, Azriel wasted no time dipping his head down and latching his mouth to one of your nipples, swirling his tongue and grazing his teeth around the nub. His hand came to play with your other breast, giving it the same attention, switching between your tits. You arched your back into him, whining in pleasure. 

He let go of your chest, looking down to admire you, all spread out for him. Nipples hard and shiny with his spit, breathing unevenly, underwear drenched with arousal, all because of him. He felt his cock throb within the confines of his sweats. Fuck, you looked so pretty like this, he had to taste you. Azriel looked up at your face, your glazed over eyes and swollen lips, and kissed you hard. Scarred fingers found the flimsy material of your panties, pushing them aside and dragging two digits along your soaked folds; you both moaned at the feeling. He rubbed tight circles around your clit, then ran a finger through your slit, smearing your juices everywhere. Your breathing quickened and he bit down your lip before kissing his way to your heat. Azriel looked at you from between your legs, pupils blown with lust, smirking wickedly. He hooked his fingers under the waistband and tugged the material painfully slow down your legs, snarling softly at the sight of your dripping pussy. 

“Beautiful,” he moaned. “So damn beautiful.” His tongue darted out to lick a long stripe out your center. It almost knocked the air out of your lungs, your hips bucking off the bed to get closer to his face. He chuckled darkly. “Eager, angel?”

“Az please, stop teasing,”  you whined prettily, eyes locking with his. 

At this point you didn’t care if your friends could hear or not, you wanted Azriel’s mouth on you, his fingers, his cock. You wanted to feel all of him. 

“Whatever my sweet angel wants,” he blew some air into your cunt, making you shiver in anticipation. Azriel dive in, devouring you like a male starved, like he might die if he didn’t get to taste you. He all but full on made out with your pussy, dragging his tongue along your folds, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking sharply. He groaned at your taste, the reverberations causing your eyes to roll back into your head, hips jerking up. He wrapped one arm around your hips to keep you pin to the bed and switched between harsh sucks and flicking the wet muscle around the nub. The pleasure was all too much and not enough at the same time, you moaned his name aloud and tugged at the strands of his hair again. 

Azriel’s free hand reached down to spread your folds, soaking his digits in your arousal before proding one finger at your entrance, and pushing inside. Your walls immediately clenched around him, making you both growl in pleasure. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, so tight. Already clenching on me,” he moaned, teeth grazing your clit. You could feel the pressure building in your lower belly, walls clamping down on his finger when he added a second one. You cried out, desperately trying to ride his face. Azriel pumped his fingers inside of you faster, curling his digits to reach that sweet spot that had you seeing stars behind your lids. Words were beginning to fail you, mumbling incoherently about how close you were. “You wanna cum? C’mon angel, give it to me, cum all over my face and fingers.”

His words had an immediate effect on you, pushing you over the edge. Pleasure overpowered you and you let go, cumming hard on his fingers, moaning his name for all the house to hear. Azriel kept thrusting his fingers into your hole, guiding you through your orgasm and licking every last drop you had to offer. He watched you closely, eyes shut in pleasure, soft pants leaving your plush lips as you came down from your high. Only then he pulled his hand away, mesmerized by you. He crawled up your body, coming face to face with you. 

“Hey,” he whispered, smiling. 

“Hey,” you replied, face flushed and smiling satisfied. You reached your hand to push away the dark strands that had fallen into his face, cupping his cheek in your palm. He looked absolutely gorgeous, hair disheveled from your tugging, lips bruised and shiny with your juices, gaze clouded with lust and something else. More intense even, more deep. 

You dragged your thumb over his bottom lip and he sucked it into his mouth, you almost whined again. Breaths coming in short. You brought his face to yours, kissing him with such devotion you couldn't hold back any longer. Azriel shuddered, leisurely kissing you back, you could taste yourself on his tongue. Moaning softly, you ranked your nails down his body, from his pecs, to the hard planes of his abdomen, all the way to his cock, palming him through the fabric. He hissed when you slid your fingers past the waistband of his pants, gripping him in your hand. His hips buckled. He was big, and warm and sticky with pre-cum. You made to put his sweatpants down but he stopped you before you could take it any further. 

“Fuck baby, are you sure?” he asked, looking intently at you. A swirl of emotions passed through his eyes, it made your heart flutter in your chest. “We don't have to, unless that's what you want. I think we made our point clear.” He laughed breathlessly. 

“It is what I want Az. I want you, I need you. Please.” You watched him with pleading eyes, full of trust and… He didn't dare acknowledge that emotion yet, not unless you spoke it out loud. Although his heart still gave a flip. Pulse picking up. 

He helped you pull his pants down, and kicked them out of his legs. His cock sprung free, slapping against his abs, tip swollen and dripping. You flashed him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen you wear, dragging your eyes shamelessly through his body. It gave him a little bit of an ego boost. 

“You're so pretty Az. So so pretty,” you murmured, eyes half lidded already devouring him. 

There it was again, you calling him pretty. He didn't know what to do with himself so he leaned in to capture your mouth in a scorching kiss. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him flush against you, both hissing when the tip of his proud cock bumped against your clit. 

You broke the kiss to slide your mouth along his jaw, down his neck, peppering his sun-kissed skin in love bites. Marking him as yours. Azriel groaned and thrust his hips forward, sliding through your folds, coating his length in your arousal. He repeated the action a couple of times before aligning himself with your entrance. He pushed in slowly, inch by inch, your wetness and the remnants of your orgasm making it easy to slide all the way in. Your walls hugged him tightly as he bottomed out, stilling, to give you time to adjust to his size. Azriel let out a moan so hot and sinful it made a new wave of arousal wash over you. 

He felt on cloud nine, his head falling to the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent and letting it intoxicate him. He could’ve cum right then and there, buried to the hilt in your heat. But he wanted it to last, taking his time to savor the feeling of you wrapped around him so perfectly. He had no doubt in his lust filled mind that you were made for him. You were his and only his. 

You rolled your hips at last, running your fingers down his sides urging him to move. That was all it took for him to pull out to the tip and slam his hips hard into yours, Azriel set a slow, sensual pace, intended in making you feel every last inch of him. You welcomed the stretch with a wanton moan, feeling the veins with every delicious drag of his cock against your walls. 

“Gods, Azriel, more!” you whined. “I can take it.” 

“I swear you're gonna be the death of me, sweetheart.” He panted. Pulling out he gripped your hips tightly and turned you onto your stomach, ass up in the air. He thrust in harsher, making you cry out in pleasure. All signs of restraint gone. 

Azriel picked up speed, angling his hips just fine so that he could reach even deeper inside you. He quickly found the spot that had you gripping him tight, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Abusing your hole, hitting your g spot every single time, mercilessly. He had you in a state of pure bliss, bringing one arm to wrap around your middle, reaching between your legs to play with your clit. You were so close, already too sensitive from your previous orgasm. Squirming around in his embrace, pushing your ass back to meet his thrusts. 

“Fuuck! Don't stop,” you managed out, fisting at the sheets for support. 

“I won't,” he grunted, the swollen head of his cock kissing your cervix. “You're mine, do you understand me? Mine. No other male gets to touch you.” 

“Yes, yes I'm yours,” you panted,  desperately wanting to please him. 

“Good girl.” 

He was relentless, hips slapping with a force that had the headboard smashing against the wall. He knew you were about to cum, could feel his own orgasm sneaking up on him. Azriel went impossibly faster, pulling sobs out of you. You clamped down on him after one particular sharp thrust and your high barreled through you without previous warning. You screamed, white hot pleasure blinding you. Cum gushed out of you, making a mess of your thighs and his. He held your trembling body up, pressed to him as he fucked you through your orgasm, thrusts becoming sloppier by the second. His wings flared proud behind him and he felt the tight knot in his gut snap. Azriel came with a growl of your name, hips coming to a stop. Your body falling limp atop the bed. 

Slowly pulling out of you, he watched astonished at the mess you made, both of your juices dripping down your legs. When his breathing became even again, Azriel leaned in to press a kiss to your spine, making you shudder. 

“You okay, angel?” He asked, scarred fingers gently pushing your hair out of your face. 

You smiled tiredly at him, content. “I feel amazing.” 

He chuckled and laid back next to you, pulling you to lay on his chest. You pressed a kiss over his heart, arms resting on his stomach, still catching your breath. No one spoke for a while, enjoying the aftermath of your actions. There was no room for worry, not with Azriel. Not ever. 

He traced iddle circles on your skin, loving how well you fit next to him. 

“Az?” You called softly to him, he hummed in acknowledgement. “Do you hear that?” 

He stilled, straining his hearing. Muffled moans could be heard down the hall and the distinct sound of a headboard smashing hard against the wall. You laughed in unison. 

“I think we may have spurred them on,” he said amusedly, voice hoarse. 

“I've never been more glad to have left my room than right now” you chuckled. 

“You and I both, angel.” He added, squeezing your ass. 

You turned to him, placing a kiss to the outline of his jaw. Silently admiring the hickies you left on his neck. 

“How does a second round sound?” You purred. 

He smirked, cock already hardening. “Absolutely delightful.” 

[merymoonbeam]

Possible Elriel plot points for the next ACOTAR book

First of all... I'm not saying this is all true. Just my own observation and link to theories that connect to stuff. So just try to enjoy.

We will go by topic. This is LONG. You have been warned.

1.Crossover

we will divide this into different topics.

a.the timeline

In Hosab Azriel carried Bryce to a house and we had this scene.

He gave no warning as he hauled her over a shoulder and tromped down a set of stairs before entering somewhere … nice-smelling. Roses? Bread? They ate bread in Hel? Had flowers? A dark, cold world, the Asteri had said in their notes on the planet.

We know it is town house. Here is the post that explains it. > Town House

And from Acosf we know that it was supposed to be empty.

“But why live in this dump, when the town house was sitting empty?” (Acosf)

but in Hofas when Rhys comes Bryce is taken to Hewn City prisons.

“What world is this?” Bryce rasped, the words gravelly. After Ruhn’s body double had introduced himself in that lovely, cozy foyer, he’d grabbed her hand. The strength of his grip, the brush of his calluses against her skin had been the only solid things as wind and darkness had roared around them, the world dropping away—and then there was only solid rock and dim lighting. She’d been brought to a palace carved beneath a mountain, and then down the narrow stairs to this dungeon. Where he’d pointed to the lone chair in the center of the room in silent command.

so we dont touch on the topic that the town house that was supposed to be empty is lived in and is smelling of roses and bread. So to me it looks like they are keeping the acotar plots in acotar and cc plots in cc. So they are not gonna reveal who lives in there in another series so...who lives there?

to me it looks like bryce falling into their world will be in the same timeline as acotar5. we will see through elain or azriel's(probably him) point of view what goes down.

b. the horn-fourth dread trove

In acosf we learn what they are.

Cassian nodded into the ensuing silence. Nesta found herself asking, “What’s the Dread Trove?” Amren’s eyes glowed with a remnant of her power. “The Cauldron Made many objects of power, long ago, forging weapons of unrivaled might. Most were lost to history and war, and when I went into the Prison, only three remained. At the time, some claimed there were four, or that the fourth had been Unmade, but today’s legends only tell of three.”

and in the same book we learn there is indeed a fourth one.

A fourth object lay on the altar, veiled in shadow. But she couldn’t make out more than a gleam of age-worn bone—

in hofas we learn that it is the horn. (ngl I hate this bc acosf timeline and hofas timeline of the past doesnt match so sarah def changed some stuff so..........)

And then she took the Trove for herself. Theia sat, enthroned, the Harp and Horn beside her, the Mask in her lap, and the Crown atop her head.

again goes with the whole same timeline thing. we are gonna learn through elain or azriel that fourth dread trove is tattooed on some girl from another world. Again imo this needs to be mentioned bc making dread troves a big part of nesta's book(and making them so dangerous) and in the next book acting as if some other girl having is not important?? doesnt make sense to me.

c. Cauldron and Ramiel

in hofas we learn that Cauldron sits on top of Ramiel.

“The Cauldron,” Nesta said hours later, pointing to yet another carving on the wall. It indeed showed a giant cauldron, perched atop what seemed to be a barren mountain peak with three stars above it. Azriel halted, angling his head. “That’s Ramiel.” At Bryce’s questioning look, he explained, “A mountain sacred to the Illyrians.”

And from Acosf we know that nobody went to look at what lies under ramiel. Sure enough Eris says "secrets". Maybe like daglan secrets???

Eris shrugged, and Nesta knew Cassian monitored his every breath. “There are three of them, you know. Sister peaks. This one, the mountain called the Prison, and the one the Illyrian brutes call Ramiel. All bald, barren mountains at odds with those around them.”

Eris gave him a mocking smile, but continued, “Unsurprisingly, the Illyrians were never curious enough to see what secrets lie beneath Ramiel. If it, too, was carved up like the others by ancient hands.”

and Vesperus says this in hofas.

Vesperus backed up a half step, hissing at the gleaming weapon. “We hid pockets of our power throughout the lands, in case the vermin should cause … problems. It seems our wisdom did not fail us.” “There are no such places,” Azriel countered coldly. “Are there not?” Vesperus grinned broadly, showing all of her too-white teeth. “Have you looked beneath every sacred mountain? At their very roots? The magic draws all sorts of creatures. I can sense them even now, slithering about, gnawing on the magic. My magic. They’re as much vermin as the rest of you.”

What if there is more to under ramiel than we thought? What if its a secret Daglan hideout? I went into detail and what could have inspired it in my Wild Hunt post if you want to read it.

also the red part in thw quote...cue in acowar elain:

Elain only turned toward the sunny windows again, the light dancing in her hair. “Will I hear the earthworms writhing through the soil? Or the stretching of roots? Will the bird of fire come to sit in the trees and watch me?”(acowar)

we learn that Asteri corrupted the Cauldron in hofas. So this come in handy for the whole mating bond topic of this whole post so Im leaving it for that.

The Cauldron was of our world, our heritage. But upon arriving here, the Daglan captured it and used their powers to warp it. To turn it from what it had been into something deadlier. No longer just a tool of creation, but of destruction. And the horrors it produced … those, too, my parents would turn to their advantage.(hofas)

Also we know from acosf that Enalius tried to stop the "enemy" from reaching the stone on top of Ramiel.

Emerie’s eyes shone. “Long ago—so long ago they don’t even have a precise date for it—a great war was fought between the Fae and the ancient beings who oppressed them. One of its key battles was here, in these mountains. Our forces were battered and outnumbered, and for some reason, the enemy was desperate to reach the stone at the top of Ramiel. We were never taught the reason why; I think it’s been forgotten. But a young Illyrian warrior named Enalius held the line against the enemy soldiers for days. He found a natural archway of stone amongst the tangle of boulders and made that his bottleneck. He died in the end, but he held off the enemy long enough for our allies to reach us. This Rite is all to honor him. So much of the history has been lost, but the memory of his bravery remains.”

so probably they were trying to reach cauldron as it was on top of it. Or maybe the ramiel stone as it seems to heal too. I did go into whole detail in the post I linked about wild hunt. also in this one

Also in the first three acotar books we learn about Book of breathings.

In acomaf we learn that book of breathings was made to control the cauldron.

“When the Cauldron was made,” the carver interrupted, “its dark maker used the last of the molten ore to forge a book. The Book of Breathings. In it, written between the carved words, are the spells to negate the Cauldron’s power—or control it wholly. But after the War, it was split into two pieces. One went to the Fae, one to the six human queens. It was part of the Treaty, purely symbolic, as the Cauldron had been lost for millennia and considered mere myth. The Book was believed harmless, because like calls to like—and only that which was Made can speak those spells and summon its power. No creature born of the earth may wield it, so the High Lords and humans dismissed it as little more than a historical heirloom, but if the Book were in the hands of something reforged … You would have to test such a theory, of course—but … it might be possible.” (acomaf)

So...only made can use its magic.

Made = Feyre , Nesta and Elain

And later in the book we learn that the book is written in Holy Tongue—Leshon Hakodesh.

She stared and stared at the Book—as if it were a ghost, as if it were a miracle—and said, “It is the Leshon Hakodesh. The Holy Tongue.” Those quicksilver eyes shifted to Rhysand, and I realized she’d understood, too, why she’d gone. Rhysand said, “I heard a legend that it was written in a tongue of mighty beings who feared the Cauldron’s power and made the Book to combat it. Mighty beings who were here … and then vanished. You are the only one who can uncode it.” (acomaf)

Mighty beings: Daglan/Asteri

and in hofas we learn that...It is written in the language of the asteri.

Amren turned to Rhysand and said in that new, strange language—their language: “The glowing letters inked on her back … they’re the same as those in the Book of Breathings.” (hofas)

Bryce's tattoo is in the holy language.

And later in hofas Rigelus says that it was his people's language.

“I can teach you things you’ve never even dreamed of,” Rigelus promised. “The language inked on your back—it is our language. From our home world. I can teach you how to wield it. Any world might be open to you, Bryce Quinlan. Name the world, and it shall be yours.”(hofas)

So the book of breathings can control cauldron and it can "open any world" to who can wield it.

and in the first crescent city book...the book of breathings is in crescent city world. In jesiba's library.

Micah loomed over her. She stretched her arm out—toward the shelf. Her tingling fingers brushed over the titles. On the Divine Number; The Walking Dead; The Book of Breathings; The Queen with Many Faces …

do we need book of breathings back as it was mentioned it is in the language of the asteri?

Also in acowar we learn that cauldron has void in it.

when Feyre broke the Cauldron void was coming out of it.

I managed to stand. To take one step before I felt it. The … thing in the Cauldron. Or lack of it. It was lack and substance, absence and presence. And … it was leaking into the world.I dared a step toward it. And what I beheld in those ruins of the Cauldron… It was a void. But also not a void—a growth.It did not belong here. Belong anywhere. (acowar)

And then this reminded me of what Apollion said about void in hosab

The darkness paused. “You are impertinent as well. Do you not know where I come from? My father was the Void, the Being That Existed Before. Chaos was his bride and my dam. It is to them that we shall all one day return, and their mighty powers that run in my blood.”

@silverlinedeyes made a post about Void and Elain connection awhile back (that’s where my fascination with the void comes from lololl) > The void post

in Hofas we learn that Daglan/Asteri made the Cauldron a kill switch.

“Once we left our home world, our powers began to dim. Too late, we realized that we had been dependent on our land’s inherent magic. The magic in other worlds was not potent enough. Yet we could not find the way back home. Those of us who ventured here found ways to amplify that power, thanks to the gifts of the land. We pooled our power, and imbued those gifts into the Cauldron so that it would work our will. We Made the Trove from it. And then bound the very essence of the Cauldron to the soul of this world.” Solas. “So destroy the Cauldron …” “And you destroy this world. One cannot exist without the other.”

So in hofas we learned about thin places...

“No,” Aidas agreed. “But Helena knew that Midgard possessed its own magic. A raw, weaker sort of magic than that in her home world, but one that could be potent in high concentrations. She learned that it flowed across the world in great highways, natural conduits for magic.” “Ley lines,” Bryce breathed. Aidas nodded. “These lines are capable of moving magic, but also carrying communications across great distances.” Like those between the Gates of Crescent City, the way she’d spoken to Danika the day she’d made the Drop. “There are ley lines across the whole of the universe. And the planets—like Midgard, like Hel, like the home world of the Fae—atop those lines are joined by time and space and the Void itself. It thins the veils separating us. The Asteri have long chosen worlds that are on the ley lines for that exact purpose. It made it easier to move between them, to colonize those planets. There are certain places on each of these worlds where the most ley lines overlap, and thus the barrier between worlds is at its weakest.” Everything slotted together. “Thin places,” Bryce said with sudden certainty. “Precisely,” Apollion answered for Aidas with an approving nod. “The Northern Rift, the Southern Rift—both lie atop a tremendous knot of ley lines. And while those under Avallen are not as strong, the island is unique as a thin place thanks to the presence of black salt—which ties it to Hel.” “And the mists?” Hunt asked. “What’s the deal with them?” “The mists are a result of the ley lines’ power,” Aidas said. “They’re an indication of a thin place. Hoping to find a ley line strong enough to help her transfer and hide Theia’s power, Helena sent a fleet of Fae with earth magic to scour every misty place they could find on Midgard. When they told her of a place wreathed in mists so thick they could not pierce them, Helena went to investigate. The mists parted for her—as if they had been waiting. She found the small network of caves on Avallen … and the black salt beneath the surface.” (hofas)

It is long but what we get from this is that

Ley lines are used for moving magic and...communication between worlds

Ley lines are joined by time and space and void

The mist is a big give away for thin places

you get the point. this all seem to be connected. thin places-cauldron-void. I talked more about this in this post

d. the middle and fionn

fionn died in the middle.

The image shifted to some sort of marsh—a bog. Fionn rode a horse between the islands of grass, bow at the ready as he ducked beneath trees in bloom. My parents often went hunting in the vast slice of land the Daglan had kept for their private game park, where they had crafted terrible monsters to serve as worthy prey. It was there that he met his death. A dark-haired, pale creature that could have been the relative of the nøkk in Jesiba’s gallery dragged a bound and gagged Fionn into the inky depths of the bog, the once-proud king screaming as he went under. Horror rooted Bryce to the spot. Theia and Pelias stood at the water’s edge, faces impassive. Petals began falling from the trees. Leaves with them. Birds took flight. As if sudden winter gripped the bog. As if the land had died with its king.(hofas)

Acowar elain

Devlon let out a grunt at the sight of her. But Elain wrapped her own blue cloak around herself, averting her eyes from all of those towering, muscled warriors, the army camp bustling toward the horizon … She was a rose bloom in a mud field. Filled with galloping horses.

Acosf the middle

Islands of grass dotted the expanse, some so crowded with brambles that he could find no safe place to land. The tangles of thorns were a mockery of what might have been—as if Oorid had ever produced roses. Not a single flower bloomed.

Hofas bog when fionn died

Fionn rode a horse between the islands of grass, bow at the ready as he ducked beneath trees in bloom. My parents often went hunting in the vast slice of land the Daglan had kept for their private game park, where they had crafted terrible monsters to serve as worthy prey. It was there that he met his death. A dark-haired, pale creature that could have been the relative of the nøkk in Jesiba’s gallery dragged a bound and gagged Fionn into the inky depths of the bog, the once-proud king screaming as he went under. Horror rooted Bryce to the spot. Theia and Pelias stood at the water’s edge, faces impassive. Petals began falling from the trees. Leaves with them. Birds took flight. As if sudden winter gripped the bog. As if the land had died with its king.(hofas)

So elain and the middle???

Also another point is...the avallen island was like the prison island because Helena hid 1/3 of theia's power there and once bryce claimed that power...the island went back to what it was.

Helena had bound the soul of this land in magical chains. No more. No more would Bryce allow the Fae to lay claim over anything. “You’re free,” Bryce whispered to Avallen, to the land and the pure, inherent magic beneath it. “Be free.” And it was.

It was no longer gray and thrashing, but a vibrant, clear turquoise. And rising from the water, just as they had seen on the map Declan had found, were islands, large and small. Lush and green with life. Forests erupted on the island they stood on, soon joined by mountains and rivers.

So what if fionn did the same before he died? What if the middle is the way it is bc before he died...he bound himself to it so the magic of the land was bound?

And we need elain to free the land? As bryce did to avallen?

also Fionn's death goes so well with lightsinger describtion in acosf. also it ties to pelias.

Me and @silverlinedeyes have theorized before that Pelias might have been a lightsinger in this post.

In hofas we learn that Fionn died like this:

The image shifted to some sort of marsh—a bog. Fionn rode a horse between the islands of grass, bow at the ready as he ducked beneath trees in bloom. My parents often went hunting in the vast slice of land the Daglan had kept for their private game park, where they had crafted terrible monsters to serve as worthy prey. It was there that he met his death. A dark-haired, pale creature that could have been the relative of the nøkk in Jesiba’s gallery dragged a bound and gagged Fionn into the inky depths of the bog, the once-proud king screaming as he went under. Horror rooted Bryce to the spot. Theia and Pelias stood at the water’s edge, faces impassive. Petals began falling from the trees. Leaves with them. Birds took flight. As if sudden winter gripped the bog. As if the land had died with its king

Lets break this down...

Fionn and his close people. One of them is his lover and the other is his general

In the bog

Asteri private game park

The last thing he sees is their faces after they betray him

Now how this ties to Pelias and Lightsingers...

This is how lightsingers are described in acosf:

“There are lightsingers: lovely, ethereal beings who will lure you, appearing as friendly faces when you are lost. Only when you’re in their arms will you see their true faces, and they aren’t fair at all. The horror of it is the last thing you see before they drown you in the bog. But they kill for sport, not food.”

Now lets break this down...

Friendly faces

Bog

For sport...not food... private game park

The last thing you see is their faces

Another point is...Silene and Helena both have shadow and starborn power. so them getting the starborn from theia and shadow from fionn makes a lot of sense.

So fionn's death being similar to lightsinger describtion when fionn could have shadow powers...like azriel who is a shadowsinger...you know what I mean? kinda weird lol.

lightsinger gwyn theory @silverlinedeyes made wonderfull posts about it. You can find them >> Part1 and Part2

I have some lightsinger theories too if you want.

Gwyn’s song and Cauldron’s song(lightsinger theory)

Azriel bonus chapter “settled/settling”(Lightsinger theory)

Azriel’s Bonus Chapter “glowed quietly”(Lightsinger theory)

Acosf Chapter 52 - Lightsinger Theory-Sirens

Glow=Power(lightsinger theory)

e. wild hunt being released?? 

In cc3 bryce said this:

“I think it’s what the Prison—the island in the Fae’s home world—once was. When Theia ruled it, I mean. Before Silene fucked it all up. Maybe they’re linked in some way through being thin places and spilled over to each other a bit. Maybe back in that other world … maybe I woke up the land around the Prison, too.”

Maybe I woke up the land around the Prison too

And we know that Silene captured Daglan's pet in prison. 👀

One after another, I hunted monsters—the remaining pets of the Daglan—until many of the lowest rooms were filled with them. Until my once-beautiful home became a prison. Until even the land was so disgusted by the evil I’d gathered here that the islands shriveled and the earth became barren. The winged horses who hadn’t gone with my mother to Midgard, who had once flown in the skies, playing in the surf … they were nearly gone. Not a single living soul remained, except for the monstrosities in the mountain.

And from acosf we know that Lanthys was one of them and he was in...Wild Hunt.

“Oh, I do not think so,” Lanthys seethed. “I rode in the Wild Hunt before you were even a scrap of existence, witch from Oorid. I summoned the hounds and the world cowered at their baying. I galloped at the head of the Hunt, and Fae and beast bowed before us.”

So if bryce did indeed woke up the land around prison that means it could be all crumbled like it was in avallen. Are the inmates going to be free? Are the wild hunt going to be in acotar5? Are we getting a full on wild hunt plot?

Also this goes well with the books being in the same timeline so what happens in cc affects acotar in a bad way.

f. Gwydion and Truth-Teller

They are white and dark light—Alpha and Omega.(I have a post about this) which came true lol. my best theory....

The male drew it, and Bryce flinched, but—“What the fuck?” The knife could have been the twin of the Starsword: black hilted and bladed. It was its twin. The Starsword began to hum within its sheath, glittering white light leaking from where leather met the dark hilt. The dagger— The male dropped the dagger to the plush carpet. All of them retreated as it flared with dark light, as if in answer. Alpha and Omega. “Gwydion,” the dark-haired female whispered, indicating the Starsword.

And whats important is that with her power bryce can unite them to open a portal to nowhere.

Polaris’s eyes widened as Bryce plunged the blades into her chest. And as those blades thrust through skin and bone, the star in Bryce’s own chest flared out to meet them. It collided with the blades, and both sword and knife blazed bright, as if white-hot. The light extended up through Bryce’s hands, her arms, her body, turning her incandescent— Into a star. A sun.

that portal to nowhere is...void.

A portal to nowhere. To a black hole. Wasn’t that the unholy power that Apollion possessed? The power of the Void. The antithesis of light.

so this connects with Cauldron and it having void in it too.

as bryce collects Theia's power that was parted into three parts she starts to realize it is taking a touch of darkness...

Bryce rolled her eyes, but for a heartbeat, Hunt wondered if Thanatos was right: Bryce had explained how the prism in the Autumn King’s office had revealed her light to now be laced with darkness, as if it had become the fading light of day, of twilight—

And we go to that scene...

With a prayer to Cthona, she sent twin beams of light arcing around the prisms, shooting straight into them.Twin bursts of that light flared from either prism, gunning for each other. Bands of light falling into darkness, her power stripped to its most elemental, basic form. They shot for each other, and where they met, light and darkness and darkness and light slamming into each other—Bryce stepped into the explosion in the heart of it. Stepped into her power.It lit her up from the inside, lit up her very blood. Her hair drifted above her head, pens and papers and other office detritus flowing upward with it. Such light and darkness—the power lay in the meeting of the two of them. She understood it now, how the darkness shaped the light.

And the purple highlighted part...it is exactly the same as the six pointed star.

Ithan angled his head. “A six-pointed star,” he said. Like the one Bryce had made between the Gates this spring, with the seventh candle at its center. “It’s a symbol of balance,” she explained, moving away a foot, but keeping the dagger at her side. Her crown of cloudberries seemed to glow with an inner light. “Two intersecting triangles. Male and female, dark and light, above and below … and the power that lies in the place where they meet.”

And if we go by the elriel scene...

Elain looked up at Azriel, their eyes meeting, his hand still lingering on the hilt of the blade. I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection … that knife.

Can you see the connection?

Also that elemental part in bryce's scene. we learn about that in acosf.

Cassian forced himself to sit perfectly still as Rhys dragged a hand through his black hair. “Once, the High Fae were more elemental, more given to reading the stars and crafting masterpieces of art and jewelry and weaponry. Their gifts were rawer, more connected to nature, and they could imbue objects with that power.”

could that be important in acotar? Having elemental magic?

also...TT can unmade things. could this come in handy in mating bond plot?

“The Starsword is Made, as you called it.” He waved an idle hand, sparks at his fingertips. “The knife can Unmake things. Made and Unmade. Matter and antimatter. With the right influx of power—a command from the one destined to wield them—they can be merged. And they can create a place where no life, no light exists. A place that is nothing. Nowhere.”

and now we have both of them in Acotar.

Nesta lifted her head. “So?” “So I want you to take the Starsword.” Bryce held the blade between them. “Gwydion—whatever you call it here. The age of the Starborn is over on Midgard. It ends with me.” “I don’t understand.” But Bryce began backing toward the portal, taking Hunt’s hand, and smiled again at the female, at her mate, at their world, as the Northern Rift began to close. “I think that eight-pointed star was tattooed on you for a reason. Take that sword and go figure out why.”

as we all know...Elain already used TT.

But as a black blade broke through the king’s throat, spraying blood, I realized someone else had. Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”

And we know from Bryce that knife has some kind of shadow powers.

Bryce threw her power into the Starsword, light ripping through the black blade, willing it to tear this fucking monster apart—She willed it into Truth-Teller, and shadows flowed—

elain...shadow...as I mentioned above fionn possibly had shadow powers as well. So it all connects. Because Fionn had Gwydion. Enalius had TT. it all seems to line up.

okay we are done with crossover part. I think. I added as much as I could. moving onto another topic.

Im adding narben as a topic here bc we dont have much to go on but I made a deep dive for it in this post from myth connections and all if you want to read it.

Also side not...narben means scar. Azriel's scars....thats all your honor.

2. Beron

But no one had been able to decide which was the bigger threat for them: Briallyn and Koschei, or Beron’s willingness to ally with them. While the Night Court had been trying to make the peace permanent, the bastard had been doing his best to start another war.

What’s better way to star a war over a female who is a cauldron made seer and also his son’s mate but doesn’t want to be with him?

And from Azriel bonus chapter we know that Blood duel is an autumn court tradition.

“Oh, I can, and I will. If Lucien finds out you're pursuing her, he has every right to defend their bond as he sees fit. Including invoking the Blood Duel.” "That's an Autumn Court tradition." The battle to the death was so brutal that it was only enacted in rare cases.

rare cases: for a cauldron made seer

Cassian said, “So we’ve got them on one front, and Beron here, ready and eager to go into war with Briallyn so he might expand his own territory after the carnage halts.”

he wants to expand his territory

Cassian unpacked each word. Beron had tortured his own son for information, rather than thanking the Mother for returning him. But Eris had held out. Fed Beron another lie.

The male had been raised with every luxury and privilege —on paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him? Cassian knew Beron had murdered Lucien’s lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldn’t he do?

Beron is so power hungry that he tortured his own son and he killed his son's lover because she was lesser-fae?

What would he do if he learns that Elain rejected the bond with Lucien because of a lesser-fae(illyrians are lesser fae)?

He already wants war and this would be his reason.

and we know from eris that Beron might as well make a new allience with Koschei after Briallyn is dead.

“Maybe not.” Eris shifted on his feet, and grimaced again. “But you and yours have more important things to think about than ancient history. My father is furious that his ally is dead, but he’s not deterred. Koschei remains in play, and Beron might very well be stupid enough to establish an alliance with him, too. I hope that whatever Morrigan is doing in Vallahan will counteract the damage my father will unleash.”

so...beron. lol.

3. Koschei

Elain already had visions about him in acowar.

Elain shifted her face toward him. Another blink. “They sold her—to … to some darkness, to some … sorcerer-lord …” She shook her head. “I can never see him. What he is. There is an onyx box that he possesses, more vital than anything … save for them. The girls. He keeps other girls—others so like her—but she … By day, she is one form, by night, human again.” “A bird of burning feathers,” I said. “Firebird by day,” Rhys mused, “woman by night … So she’s held captive by this sorcerer-lord?” Elain shook her head. “I don’t know. I hear her—her screaming. With rage. Utter rage …” She shuddered. Mor leaned forward. “Do you know why the other queens cursed her—sold her to him?” Elain studied the table. “No. No—that is all mist and shadow.” Rhys blew out a breath. “Can you sense where she is?” “There is … a lake. Deep in—in the continent, I think. Hidden amongst mountains and ancient forests.” Elain’s throat bobbed. “He keeps them all at the lake.” “Other women like her?” “Yes—and no. Their feathers are white as snow. They glide across the water—while she rages through the skies above it.”

and in acosf we learn that Koschei wants free of his lake but we don't know his other plans

“And all Koschei wants is to be free from his lake?” Rhys asked Azriel. But Amren answered. “No one really knows the full scope of the Trove’s powers. Beyond freeing him from his lake, Koschei may very well know something about the Trove that we don’t —some greater power that manifests when all three are united.”

and he might know things about the trove that nobody knows.

And in hofas we learned this about the harp:

She gave us what protection her magic could offer, transferring it from her body into our own using the Harp. Another secret she had learned from her long-ago masters: that the Harp could not only move its bearer through the world, but move things from one place to another—even move magic from her soul to ours.

Move things from one place to another—even move magic from her soul to ours

and in most koschei tales there is a thing about his...death.

The most common feature of tales involving Koschei is a spell which prevents him from being killed. He hides "his death" inside nested objects to protect it. For example, his death may be hidden in a needle that is hidden inside an egg, the egg is in a duck, the duck is in a hare, the hare is in a chest, the chest is buried or chained up on a far island. Usually he takes the role of a malevolent rival figure, who competes for (or entraps) a male hero's love interest.

maybe he wanted the dread troves for the purpose of his death? Can I bet that koschei moved his "death" from his body using the harp?

Also in that elain quote from acowar elain mentions a box.

While rereading the acotar books I noticed something.

Book of Breathings is described as a box.

The box would be heavy—and cold. Who are you, who are you, who are you— I flexed my fingers and cracked my neck. I am summer; I am sea and sun and green things. “Come on, come on,” Amren murmured. Above, water trickled over the stones. Who are you, who are you, who are you— I am Tarquin; I am High Lord; I am your master. The box quieted. As if that were answer enough. I snatched the box off the pedestal, the metal biting into my hands, the power an oily smear through my blood. An ancient, cruel voice hissed: Liar. And the door slammed shut.(Acomaf)

The box—the Book—was silent. Then it said, Like calls to like. “Open,” I gritted out. Unmade and Made; Made and Unmade—that is the cycle. Like calls to like.(Acomaf)

And we have Koschei's onyx box which we know from Elain. And koschei is a...sorcerer.

Elain shifted her face toward him. Another blink. “They sold her—to … to some darkness, to some … sorcerer-lord …” She shook her head. “I can never see him. What he is. There is an onyx box that he possesses, more vital than anything … save for them. The girls. He keeps other girls—others so like her—but she … By day, she is one form, by night, human again.” (acowar)

so what if it is not a box but a book???

4. Mating bond

Since acowar this has been a question. There are a lot of theories and idea about how sarah would go with this. True mates. Two mating bond. Some of us think elriel has carranam bond... There is so many theories

Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports—likely information on the Autumn Court that he planned to present to Rhys once he’d sorted through it all. Already dressed for the Hewn City—the brutal, beautiful armor so at odds with the lovely garden. And my sister sitting within it. “Why not make them mates?” I mused. “Why Lucien?” “I’d keep that question from Lucien.” “I’m serious.” I turned toward him and crossed my arms. “What decides it? Who decides it?”

Feyre was the first to question the mating bond between Elain and Lucien. This scene is important because she is questioning the mating bond while looking at Azriel and Elain.

And we again see in the bonus that azriel questions the mating bond.

Rhys's power rippled through the room like a dark cloud. "I’m talking about you, about to kiss Elain, in the middle of a hall where anyone could see you," he snarled. "Including her mate." Azriel stiffened. Let his cold rage rise to the surface, the rage he only ever let Rhysand see, because he knew his brother could match it.  "What if the Cauldron was wrong?"

And we see through out the books that Elain and Lucien are not even getting closer. Both of them are uncomfortable with the mating bond.

He hadn’t mentioned Elain, or his proximity to her. Elain had not asked him to stay, or to go. And whether she cared about the bruises on his face, she certainly hadn’t let on.

Elain, at least, would be too polite to send Lucien away when he wanted to help. She was too polite to send him away on a normal day. She just ignored him or barely spoke to him until he got the hint and left. As far as I knew, he hadn’t come within touching distance since the aftermath of that final battle.

“You’re welcome to stay for the night,” I said, since Elain certainly wasn’t going to. Lucien lowered his hands into his lap and leaned back in the armchair. “Thank you, but I have other plans.” I prayed he didn’t catch the slightly relieved glimmer on Elain’s face.

“Why are you here?” Cassian asked, unable to help the sharpness. “Where’s Elain?” “I am not always in this city to see my mate.” The last two words dripped with discomfort. “And I came up here because Feyre said I should. I need to kill a few hours before I’m to meet with her and Rhys. She thought I might enjoy seeing Nesta at work.”

He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings. Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

Also I mentioned above how TT can unmade things...so can it unmade a mating bond? also it ties into Cauldron too bc....as we know it is corrupted by the asteri. @offtorivendell made a post about how asteri might have messed with mating bonds.

Also lets not forget this iconic quote.

Azriel stiffened. Let his cold rage rise to the surface, the rage he only ever let Rhysand see, because he knew his brother could match it.  "What if the Cauldron was wrong?"  Rhysand blinked. "What of Mor, Az?"  Azriel ignored the question. "The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another." He had never before dared speak  the words aloud.

I'm gonna drop a few mating bond theories in here if you want to read it. Elain and Lucien mating bond is a spell by @icedflames

True mates theory by @silverlinedeyes

mating bond and bridges by @silverlinedeyes with my reblog.

@offtorivendell has many posts about mating bond you can find it here

Would a mate know, would a mate feel— by me

“Through love, all is possible” by me

5. Elain and Azriel’s powers

as I mentioned above...fionn could have a shadow power like azriel.

This is just a speculation but in hofas Silene gave this information.

My mother eventually trusted only Helena and myself to seek the truth. She knew we could be of great use to her, because we bore the shadows as well as starlight.

Helena and Silene both have shadow and starlight power.

Theia= starborn

So they got the starlight power from Theia. They must have gotten their shadow power from Fionn then? Bc he is their father.

So this made me think...in mythology fionn is a seer.

Fionn mac Cumhaill often anglicized Finn McCool or MacCool, is a hero in Irish mythology, as well as in later Scottish and Manx folklore. He is the leader of the Fianna bands of young roving hunter-warriors, as well as being a seer and poet. He is said to have a magic thumb that bestows him with great wisdom. He is often depicted hunting with his hounds Bran and Sceólang, and fighting with his spear and sword. The tales of Fionn and his fiann form the Fianna Cycle or Fenian Cycle (an Fhiannaíocht), much of it narrated by Fionn's son, the poet Oisín.

So what if...fionn in acotar was also a seer? What if that's how elain and azriel are also connected?

Bc that would mean...

Fionn: a seer and shadow powers

Elain: a seer

Azriel: shadowsinger

Is that how they are connected? Is that how elain could use the tt? 👀👀

Bc we know tt and gwydion are twin to each other. And Gwydion was Fionn's sword. Tt was his friend's—Enalius.

And in acowar elain used tt. Maybe bc that's the reason why. Maybe being a seer has some kind of connection to it. Just like being a starborn is connected to wielding the gwydion and its powers.

But as a black blade broke through the king’s throat, spraying blood, I realized someone else had. Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”

And we know from Bryce that knife has some kind of shadow powers.

Bryce threw her power into the Starsword, light ripping through the black blade, willing it to tear this fucking monster apart—She willed it into Truth-Teller, and shadows flowed—

As we know Elain is a seer. But there is more to her powers than just being a seer.

@wingedblooms made a post about how when it's mentioned it's always in plural form. >> Elain’s Powers

And with her seer powers she can be a good spy and we can see that Sarah hinted this acosf.

“You came,” Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.

the red part I highlighted in this has a parallel with Azriel you can find the post here >> azriel/elain parallel

And we know that N+C are trained by Azriel.

Amren, at least, knocked this time before entering. Nuala and Cerridwen, who had finished setting combs of mother-of-pearl into my hair, took one look at the delicate female and vanished into puffs of smoke. “Skittish things,” Amren said, her red lips cutting a cruel line. “Wraiths always are.” “Wraiths?” I twisted in the seat before the vanity. “I thought they were High Fae.” “Half,” Amren said, surveying my turquoise, cobalt, and white clothes. “Wraiths are nothing but shadow and mist, able to walk through walls, stone—you name it. I don’t even want to know how those two were conceived. High Fae will stick their cocks anywhere.” I choked on what could have been a laugh or a cough. “They make good spies.” “Why do you think they’re now whispering in Azriel’s ear that I’m in here?” “I thought they answered to Rhys.” “They answer to both, but they were trained by Azriel first.”

another thing is that we know azriel is good at keeping secret and here we have feyre pointing out elain has him beat

Feyre smiled. “Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping."

also now that we have crossover with CC books, there are mystics and it looks like Elain's seer powers and mystics are very similar one another. I talked about that in the post that I'd linked. Also with Elain's seer powers I made a theory about how the timeline could work if Sarah took inspo from a poem from the Norse Mythology called Völuspa. Another thing is there is a magic called Seidr in Norse mythology which I think Sarah might have of gotten inspiration for Elain's powers. It also connects with Vassa(and a little bit crossover) and her possible plotline.

I think this is all I got.

if you read this much....THANKS.

bye now. :)

[ellievickstar]

A Fox's Pain

A/N: I loved this request so much mostly because i have a lot of self induced pain from being clumsy along with the fact i have horrible cramps that make me wanna die for two weeks every month. Can we just agree that protective caring Eris is the best Eris??? Also, I hope your okay slipping on ice sucks and it hurts like a bitch i couldn’t imagine how you feel, remember to take care of yourself!!! (For your info some of the falling is based off my real life cause i thought someone was in my house but i went tumbling to the floor, my foot got caught on the door stop as i was falling and i scratched it and then tripped over it further and died on the floor)

Summary: When you’re clumsy and in pain how will your mate take care of you especially when it pains him to see you this way.

Request: Hi! I was wondering if you could write something about eris taking care of his injured mate or a mate with chronic pain. I fully busted my ass this morning slipping on ice and since I have arthritis, the pain is 10x worse. I can't help but YEARN for the comfort that Eris would bring with his warm hands and reassurance (maybe even a touch of guilt or anger at the gods for bestowing their mate with such pain or even a bonus where the mate gets hurt because of someone else) If this is too specific/complicated, not a problem, but I really love your writing and find so much comfort in it!!

Pairing: Eris Vanserra x reader

Warnings: Chronic pain (reason unspecified), clumsy reader, getting injured, i kinda tried to research a little on arthritis sorry if this is like- wrong. T^T

𓃦��˖➴જ⁀➴

“HELP!” You yelped as you came tumbling to the floor for what might have been the billionth time that day. You had decided to bake so that you could pass time while Eris was in his meeting with the nobles. You were not needed to show up, thankfully, even though you were High Lady most days Eris let you stay in when your body ached and you could not move. Even on days your pain subsided a little and you were able to make public appearances he would hover over you like a really protective cat. You snickered at the idea of Eris almost hissing and clawing at people who got close to you.

Although your earlier bout of tripping oven door had caused you to go crashing, at least the over had cooled down enough that you were not burnt and you had already placed the baked treats safely on the counter. You reached up to maybe take one, a little lazy to stand up from the cool comfortable floor, when a sharp pain stabbed through your arm and you flinched, curling into yourself.

You don’t know how long it took for the pain to start subsiding as you shut your eyes, trying to swallow down the pain. You do not know when your vision started to blur as you stumbled over to the cabinet where the healer had stored the herbs for the pain.

“This hurts like a bitch,” You mumbled to yourself, causing a slight smile to creep over your face before the pain return and you winced. Maybe you should have stayed in bed like Eris said and waited for him to come back. You craved his heated palms soothing your skin and soft whispers as he tried to soothe the ache in your body.

Breathing in, you counted in your head, counting the seconds until you felt okay to move again.

1….

2…..

3……

Breath out.

“You’re okay,” You said firmly. You had grown up with this, you would be fine. You were stronger, you were better than this. You could get through this bout of pain just like very other time. Sighing, you shakily stood up, the dull ache in your joints still present but…better than the stabbing pain you had felt earlier. Wobbling your way to the tray of pastries, you picked up on and just when you were about to put it in your mouth…

You leaned you head back too far and it slammed against the cabinet behind you.

“Shit!” You exclaimed. Cursing out the cabinet, you groaned at the pastry that ended on the floor, bending to pick it up, being careful not to hit anything.

“I think that’s the fourth? Fifth time you’ve done something to hurt yourself?” A cool voiced echoed through the room and as you whipped your head around quickly, too quickly, your foot slipped and you were about to go tumbling again when strong arms shot out and grabbed you by your waist, steadying you. “Clumsy little fox,” He murmured gently lifting you to sit you down on the counter.

“It’s not my fault I wanted to make something nice but the kitchen is so hazerdous,” You shot back. “So hazardous,” He hummed. His warm palms slid over your skin, messaging the ache in your joints with heated skin, the warmth of his magic seeped into your joints and you groaned gratefully, leaning your head into his chest while he worked at your aches.

“You know, you’re helping me but maybe next time keep quiet and just help,” You mumbled. Chuckling, “I don’t remember that complaint last night when I was-,” “Stop, nope, I take back what I said, never mind,” You cut him off quickly. You winced when he touched a particularly painful spot. His eyes softened slightly, and you noticed how his movements slowed and gentled just a tad as he worked on that particular ache, messaging it just like how the healer taught him to.

When he was done, he picked up a pastry from the tray, holding it to your mouth. Your brows quirked as you looked at the pastry to his face, “I can feed myself you know?” “You just hit your head trying to though,” He replied. You rolled your eyes, taking the pastry in your mouth, moaning at the delicious taste as the warm sweetness seeped into you taste buds.

“I’m sorry,” He suddenly said.

“For what?” You asked curiously, reaching to grab another pastry, Eris slid his hands to wrap around your waist again, looking into your eyes.

“I’m sorry that for all the pain that you could feel, I can’t be the one to take away the pain, but I hope that by being here, being with you, I can at least make it bearable. And I’m sorry, that there will never be a day I could truly understand how strong you had to be to survive this illness,” He murmured. Warmth fluttered in your chest and you felt tears well up in your eyes as he pulled you close in an embrace, and as you felt comfort by the warmth of his body against yours, just for a moment, you felt as if everything didn’t matter except the male in front of you.

𓃦°˖➴જ⁀➴

A/N: So I tried my best and this is how it turned out hahha....I hope I didn't disappoint the anon T^T For those who don't know my requests are open for the moment so if you want me to write anything for you guys please let me know. BYEEEE <3

[acotarxreader]

My Library

Welcome to my lil library of fics I have enjoyed recently (and the gifs that summarise them way too simplistically)! This will be updated as I go 🩷

Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor (Azriel x reader)

Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door. Azriel x reader - @daycourtofficial

Practice On Me

Set in Illyria when the Bat Boys are mere twenty-year-olds, Azriel has never explored intimacy and sex like his closest friends have. Reader is more than willing to help — not realising it will offset a series of events that will change life as they know it. Azriel x reader - @acourtofwhatthefuck

One Summer

One beach house. One festival. One summer to fall in love. Azriel x reader - @illyrianbitch

Morally Grey

Cassian drags the IC to his new obsession: open mic night at Rita's, and much to his delight, Azriel has been paired up to sing with the Reader. Azriel x reader. - @velariscalling

Come Here Sweetheart

You are suffering from burn out and having a meltdown. The General of the Night Court's Armies ensures you give him your best smile. Cassian x reader -

@sarawritestories

A Thousand Roses

Every day you curse the books which gave you unrealistically high expectations of men. Adamant he wants to take you on a date, Cassian does his best to impress. Cassian x Reader.

@milswrites

Sly Fox, Dumb Bunny

You find yourself ensnared by a sly, cunning fox. A very handsome, irritating one - Eris x Reader

@serpentandlily

Just a little Crush

Everyone secretly longs for Azriel, but Azriel only longs for her. Azriel x Reader

@writingcroissant

[loneliestluvr]

𝑻𝒐 𝑴𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝑰 𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝑮𝒐, 𝒊𝒊𝒊.

i. ii. iii.

Pairing: Eris Vanserra x Archeron OC

Synopsis: Caught up in a world of hollow grief for her people, her life, and her father, Blair Archeron is forced into a life under the light she wants no part of after ghosting through immortality since being Made. But what she finds, is not what she expects.

Warnings: beron😒, abuse in general(like triggering af please be warned), me being a rhysand hater, brief suicidal thoughts

Word Count: 4.1k— this took me all day to write(from 7-9 am and then 3-now please be thankful😞🙏🏼)

taryn thinks: YES I DID CHANGE THE NAME. IT FITS BETTER. I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS WHEN I STARTED. HUSH. i would like to choose this very moment to tell you there will be a happy ending and to say they WILL end up with babies. still unsure how many parts this will be though ���🏼 im just a gorl. @readychilledwine this is my payment for that tamlin baby and domestic fluff(smut if you’d like) bonus chapter for lost bonds 🤗

There was glass shattered on the floor by the windows.

Eris’s head was down as he stood before his father, pieces of deep auburn hair hanging by his eyes as he tried not to move and tried not to let any emotion pass over his face. Just as Beron expected when he took his lashings— whether that be from a whip, his tongue, or his powers.

However indignant, the fact his father had chosen his tongue today was a mercy.

“You are insignificant,” Beron seethed, spit spraying from his mouth as he yelled. The deep, cruel, voice booming off the walls of his fathers study. “—a bastard, truly. A bastard because you surely can not be this stupid and be born of me. A worthless excuse for a first son.”

Eris kept his stature wane, making himself small for his father despite the fact he was a few good inches taller than the male.

Sometimes, he thought the High Lord’s need to belittle and denigrate everyone around him, raise his voice and grow violent, was driven by some sort of lust. For power, respect, whatever it may be. Something he lacked.

That maybe the fact he put energy into minimizing his court, his family, his wife even, was because he didn’t even respect himself. That he needed to create room for his anger and hatred by pushing others down.

What had happened to him that made him so cruel? Is this how his father had been to him? Was this love to him?

“How is it that we’ve only just learned there’s a fourth sister, Eris? Tell me,” Beron’s voice grew lethally quiet as he spoke and Eris forced himself to breathe, bracing mentally. “—tell me so I know who better to put on the throne instead of your pathetic fucking excuse of life.”

His words grated against his ears, voice tight and angry and again growing louder as he spoke.

Another glass was thrown, and shattered. Hitting the wall so close to Eris’s head that a piece flew at him, slicing across his cheek lightly. He barely moved.

The crystal thin enough, knife-like enough, that he felt the warmth of his blood start to slowly seep from his skin.

Like moisture collecting on the petal of a white poppy in the early morning dew when he sat in the meadows by the Forest House, Saydee’s head in his lap as he talked to the earth. A small reprieve from the chaos of the palace.

Eris was there, in his mind.

Petting his hounds grey coat as he whispered, just as he always did when the sun came over the horizon and woke for the day. Like he had since he was just a faeling sitting in his mothers lap as she did the same.

His mother had explained it so gently one morning, sat in the grass, about when the sun comes over the skyline to say good morning. Not to speak too loudly or too brash so that he didn’t startle the earth, because she too deserved kindness. The Mother.

So almost everyday for as long as he could remember, he sat in that meadow, lazing in the tall grasses as those vibrant hues of blue and orange and pink and yellow streaked across the sky— and he whispered to Her.

About his hopes and dreams that would never be fulfilled or sought after, talked of the life he wished to have. That he wished his own mother had. Asked for her days to be gentler, kinder, prayed on every wild dandelion he found, for someone to share his days with, to talk to— however boring.

And he had. He had his dogs, and he had the fields surrounded with the creeks that ran through their property, and he had the sky.

He wished he was there most of the time. So he created a place in his head, to escape in moments like this.

Acres of meadows, full of flowers and taller grass than he could dream of. Up to his hips, his bloodhounds disappearing beneath the blades as he strolled leisurely. Hands wading through the soft thicket. Sometimes he dreamed of others with him, his mother, Lucien, someone else.

Locked away that piece of himself to disappear into whenever being in his body became too much.

It’s where he had spent nearly fifty torturous years Under the Mountain, spending every waking moment protecting the female who had raised him for his father didn’t care to. Spending fifty years away from those grasslands and that beautiful savoy grandeur. His meadows.

Throwing stick after stick out into those pastures as he walked further and further, his best girl running every time he threw— chasing bunnies and jumping into the streams. Getting lost in his mind. When he knew it was morning, which was so very rare down in that dark and decrepit nightmare, he prayed. He prayed for some divine force to step in, for Her to save him and his family. To be kinder. The first time he cried and spoke his despair aloud, Feyre Archeron had come three days later.

Eris was deep in fern grasses as the blood dripped down his face, but he still did not move.

He hadn’t even taken his coat and finery off from Hewn City yet, having told his father he was coming from the lookout on the northern border. He didn’t bring attention to it.

He heard his fathers deep breath and the creaking of the chair behind his desk as he sat, maybe seeing reason now that the heady scent of his sons blood filled his study.

“You will go to Rhysand as soon as possible,” Beron started, pinching the bridge of his nose. Eris still didn’t look up, just blinked at the floor. “—do what you must. Find a way in, figure out what else those wretched girls took from us. I do not care if you kill or maim or whatever else takes your interest these days.”

His voice trailed off as if remembering something significant and Eris heard the wood groan again and then footsteps, his heart remaining steady despite the screaming that filled his head. Then he saw the polished toes of Beron’s shoes.

“You always were the smartest of my sons. So much like me, so brutal.”

Male pride laced those words. Eris wanted to throw up, he wanted to scream, and he did want to kill. He wanted to kill the man before him, wanted to kill the ruination that circled this court. That ripped its beauty from her chest, chewed it up, and spat it out.

But he did not move.

A hand gripped his chin, turning his face to the side and up. Eris let his eyes flick to his fathers face and saw the warning there.

“Where did you get this.” It wasn’t a question, Eris knew.

“I was playing with Saydee and tripped too close to a jagged rock, it cut me. It didn’t hurt.”

Beron released his chin if only to land a sharp slap on his other cheek and then immediately grabbed his face again. His grip burned, like molten ire, making the flesh of his cheeks dig into his teeth.

“Where did you get it.”

“I was practicing my swordsmanship with Brenton and he sliced me with his rapier, it was an accident. He got the proper punishment for hurting me.”

Beron released his son’s face and stepped back.

“Get out, don’t let your mother see you.”

Doubtless that the reason he wanted him gone was because he didn’t want his sons blood to drip onto those precious carpets.

Eris didn’t need to be told twice, so he walked. As calmly as he could until he got to his rooms, making sure to take the long way around and avoid where his mother was no doubt waiting by her own door to hear Eris’s footsteps walk by.

To know he was safe, or to know what his father did. Either way, he didn’t want her to see him like this.

Closing the door behind him, he finally loosed a breath, opening his eyes as he shucked off his jacket and draped it over the chaise by the hearth. Walking to his tray of decanters, lightly touching the blood on his face with one hand as he picked a bottle up in the other.

His scarred fingers came back crimson.

A slow boiling rage, like simmering sugar, filled his body. His muscles, gritting his teeth silently. Grip growing tight as he looked at that blood.

And then that was all he saw as the glass bottle shattered into the brick fireplace, sending the flames roaring and him stumbling back a few steps into the post of his bed.

He hadn’t noticed it was lit, vision glazed over.

He was breathing heavily, eyes wide as he watched the flames fulminate, casting an orange glow on his room and his face. So bright and wild he felt the heat from feet away as he watched the fire roar and gutter back down.

Eris thought that maybe he really wasn’t any better than the man that sired him at all.

Spring in Velaris was beautiful.

The mid-day sun warmed the air around the River House, a gentle breeze kissing Blair’s skin and ruffling through her curled hair.

She’d let her little sister braid it back this morning, a thin coronet that made a beautiful pleated flower on the back of her head. Though her loose bangs tickled her eyes, Blair thought she had looked rather pretty.

She wasn’t so outside of her body when she sat in the open air. And she felt… alright.

Though she would have preferred a fir to scale, as they allowed for easier climbing, but the willow she had found herself in made for a good view of Elain working in Feyre’s garden.

It was a welcome change from her window. Like there was no need to run away and hide in the forests of her mind, digging her own hands into the soul of the earth just to make sure her mind didn’t numb away.

She was almost laying down against the bark, the large trunk and spindling branches wide enough two people could have sat up here side by side. As uncomfortable as it may have been, the rough corking crust digging into wherever it touched through her pale yellow gown, it felt like home.

It’d been a week since Starfall at the House of Wind, almost a month since that all too brief introduction she had made to the world in Hewn City on Winter Solstice. Of Prythian’s world, at least.

Blair hadn’t expected anything for it, she had been there for a short half hour and had been… occupied the whole time.

Sometimes her skin still burned when she was alone. In the bath, when she stirred honey into her tea, late at night in the too cool sheets of her bed.

She’d felt her own since Hewn City, able to think and manage conversations, elating to Feyre and Elain and she quite enjoyed conversing with her little sisters now. But she still laid by the fire, night after night just to feel that warmth fill her.

But after that, after the surplus of gifts from their small gathering that followed, presents hadn’t stopped when the Solstice holiday ended— but they weren’t coming from her family.

Baskets and boards and chests and boxes were sent to Rhysand’s palace and then were brought to the House. Welcoming’s and courtiers from every place in Prythian it seemed, branching out to welcome her.

Well wishes, mostly. Some off-notes and letters, claiming that Blair Archeron’s beauty could be used to fix the rifts in this continent and between courts. That had been the most absurd one, a letter for Rhysand asking for her hand in marriage. He laughed as he read it to her, sitting by the window— knees tucked into her chest.

It angered her more than anything. That she was already a prize to be had, or that it was Rhys they were asking.

Slowly, as days passed and she spent more time outside breathing clear air, the anger grew. The realizations came in waves, of things she had missed, times where she should have spoke up and didn’t.

Resentment, frustration, shame, guilt.

She didn’t let it show, bottling it up and shoving it down. Killing the urges inside her to scream at everyone, to bellow and seeth and grow violent. Something so awake in her, gnashing and bloody teethed. The need to give into that voice in her head that told her to let it go.

That she needed to in order to go on, in order to have a sense of normalcy. That exploding was the only was to settle her bones. She felt particularly nasty towards Rhysand.

The betterment he had to achieve and grovel over, should grovel over, was stacked against the High Lord.

The anger was what took her the most, forcing her fingers to loosen the grip she had on her fork at dinner nightly as she listened to him ramble and laugh. Watched Feyre go on like she would not die having his child, closer and closer to being due.

She wanted to watch him bleed as her sister was going to.

Wanted to scream for all he had made Nesta do.

The entitlement.

But Blair buried it.

So she would glare to herself when he wasn’t looking, lip pulled back slightly and passed off as a twitch, before she took in what was sent as an attempt to woo her.

Blair had thought they were for Feyre in all honesty, before Cassian explained that it was bad luck. A few days ago when he walked with her along the Sidra— Elain had dragged her out and in return she made the Illyrian come with her— he had said it was a grim omen and wish of terrible luck to send an expecting mother gifts for a babe that hadn’t yet been born. To the fae at least.

She listened mindlessly. Noting the scent of her older sister that came from him in waves. She needed to talk to Nesta, and soon. A conversation was owed on both ends.

The thin parchment of the book she was reading scraped against the soft pads of Blair’s fingers as she leaned back against the large trunk of the willow.

Vines of cream wisteria flowing in the soft wind that sent the caps of her bell sleeves fluttering, watching Elain out of the corner of her eye as she dug her bare hands into the soil. Choosing not to use the enchanted gloves Lucien had gifted to her as she tended to the flower beds at the back of the house.

Despite the cool air surrounding Blair from the river flowing a few paces away, a warmth bloomed past her skin, not from the sun, but from something else, and her chest melted or sparked or roared as she saw a flash of deep auburn hair— walking towards where she was in the tree.

The second oldest Archeron’s brow furrowed so slightly. That scent— that heated mahogany and citrus, burning embers, floated to her on a soft wind and brushed through her hair in a soothing caress.

Eris’s hand skimmed along the brush of a white rose hedge as he strolled, his gait loose but strong. Blair kept her focus on the pages she was reading, but a sudden pounding in her heart had her unable to focus on any of the words.

She heard him approach, feet light and careless, she wouldn’t have heard it if she were still human. But with her new ears, the new senses she was still getting used to, she could.

The feet stopped, just under her, and Blair flipped the page. The thin and gauzy skirt of her dress draped and hung down the branch she lounged on, leg crossed over the other.

Eris cleared his throat then, and Blair could see his tall stature blurred in the peripheral of her vision. Hands tucked appropriately behind his back.

“I’m shocked Rhys let you come here, especially with my baby sister in her condition.” Blair said without lifting her head to look at him. Eris hid his smile by lowering his head. “Or should I be worried you’ve come to steal Nesta away? She’s not here, by the way.”

The words poured out of her mouth so quickly that Elain lifted her head in wonder, the same furrow as her older sister’s she’d seen play out in her face so many times. Rhys was standing with his arms crossed on the stone walkway when Elain looked to the back doors. Not pleased, but something willing.

“Now, smart, beautiful thing.” He tsked his tongue, amusement lacing every word. “I wanted to see you, and I told you that Nesta was not what I wanted anymore.”

Blair lifted her head at that, looking down at his wretchedly beautiful face and he smiled that wicked smile at her that spoke of pure sin. The level of her belief was in her eyes.

Whatever he offered that was big enough for Rhys to allow him to come to Velaris, she didn’t believe it would be just for her. Eris had given something to gain something— that’s what they all said of him.

“I told him I’d spoil our fun and tell my father of our plans or he could let me see you and I’d send a legion tomorrow for him to direct.” Eris added, as if reading her mind or face or body. She forced herself to keep looking at him.

“I could have met with you somewhere else.”

“Would you have? Left this place?” A raise of his brows.

Blair didn’t know, she didn’t know why she said it. Why her tongue just moved before she could think with him. Her eyes said as much and then a sudden, unknown, panic filled her and the life guttered so quickly from her eyes.

“It is safer here anyway.” Eris said lightly a few seconds later, followed by a quiet sigh.

There was a thin white gash along his cheek, almost healed, but it wasn’t there the last time she’d seen him. Blair remembered every inch of his face whether she wanted to or not. A face that followed her.

“No gift to try and sweep me into a marriage with you?” She said as gently as she could, face a bit flat.

“I thought I gave you one.” Eris smiled and at Blair’s squinted eyes, he continued. She closed her book and tossed it to the ground, narrowly missing him as it thudded to the ground. “Our dances, I did give you three I believe. Is that not the correct number in the mortal realm when a male is courting a female?”

The female blinked down at him, pausing as she swung her legs over the side of the branch, face drawing ever tighter and then she couldn’t control it.

It was the wording that sent her laughing she supposed. The sound rich and full of life, not empty and deserted or even strained, a song that skittered over Eris’s skin. Soft and silky as a fawn’s coat, gentle and easy as a gliding dove.

“I suppose,” Blair started, grunting slightly as she slid on her stomach— using the little strength she had in her arms to hold tight to the trunk she was dangling from. “—if we were in the mortal realm.” Blair panted slightly and Eris’s mouth formed a tight line as he watched the female struggling to climb back to the ground.

Her palms quickly formed indents from the grooves and bumps and ridges she clung to, nails digging into the wood.

“But,” Slipping slowly, trying to find a place for her dangling bare feet to land or stick to so she didn’t drop seven or eight feet right to the grass. The thin sleeves of her dress catching and snagging on sharp ribs in the bark. “—I so graciously have the rest of my immortal life ahead of me,”

“Would you…” Eris’s hands trail off as he watched, hands behind his back and head tilted.

“I have choices, to make—” Blair interrupted, toes splaying as she reached and reached for the next thing down but there was just nothing. “So I think it fair I take,” She huffed, hands slipping and sweating as she tried to grapple. “My,”

Eris raised an amused brow to her backside, arms crossing over his chest as he just watched. Her full body dangling there and then Blair yelped, right hand slipping and then she was falling with a gasp.

Eris was there a second later, large hands firmly gripping her waist as her knees bent over something. Scratching up her hands as she went, skin ripping on the rough bark and she grappled for anything. Body twisting.

It was Eris who caught her, who she tangled herself onto so she wouldn’t slam against the ground. Panting, heart beating, arms around his neck before she looked at him.

Blue, rust-flecked eyes met amber ones.

“Time.” She whispered, staring at his face. He’d caught her. She couldn’t tell if it was her pulse she could feel inside her hand, or his, as it held to the junction between his neck and shoulder. His eyes flicked down.

“Yellow was a choice, my dear Blair.” She scrambled from his arms, dropping another foot before touching the ground as she stood on her own again.

“I like yellow.” She spoke quietly, brushing her hands along her dress and halting when it streaked the fabric with a dirty red. Looking up at him with a breath, she crossed her arms instead.

“Beautiful as a rare star, then.”

Blair rolled her eyes.

“What is it you want, Eris?”

The male nearly fell to his knees at the look in her eyes, the sound of his name on her tongue for the first time.

Out loud, that is. He’d rewatched her beautiful lips play with it in his head for the past month, over and over. Kept it for himself, for when he was alone or bored or…

Eris feigned a pout.

“No polite courtier? I just saved you, my fair damsel.” He said, face serious until he smiled again and Blair started walking back towards the house. Rhys mouth twisted into a satisfied smirk as he watched.

“I do not need saving, the worst that would have happened was a few scratches or a bruise. I would have lived.” Even if she didn’t particularly care to. She didn’t say that out loud, though. But the despair seeped into something, she didn’t care enough to stop and think about the feeling.

“Mm,” He hummed, following behind her. “I suppose so.” He wanted to grab her, to touch and feel her beneath the flesh of his hands just because. Something inside his chest dragging him along behind her, he was not himself.

Blair just kept walking, right up the stones and the marble stairs off the back of the house, feet padding to the doors. Eris stopped at the steps where Rhys made him halt.

“Don’t let them hold you.” Eris called and she looked over her shoulder just briefly before flinging the doors open and disappearing inside the house that was warded off. Eris couldn’t follow after her if he wanted to.

“You saw her. For whatever reason you needed, she clearly did not have an interest in the same.” Rhys sighed, stepping in front of Elain subconsciously as Eris stood there— still looking into the House. “Now leave my city before I kill you, you know not to speak of this place to anyone.”

Eris was still staring after her when he disappeared in a rush of wind and warm light.

Elain looked back at the tree where her sister and the male had come through moments ago, only to find a particular trail of higher grass where Blair had walked and suddenly grown dandelions were blooming.

From the slam of the back door seconds later and the vacant yard that Elain was now left alone in, nobody else had noticed.

🏷️: @prythianpages @readychilledwine @impossibelle @anuttellaa @aelincaddel @umgatochamadopercyval @mirandasidefics

[queercontrarian]

Azris Week 2024: Contact

Azriel and Eris are not quite as overt in showing their affection as Azriel's family is. You might not even know it's there... unless you know where to look.

this summary is shit also let's all just pretend i posted this on the right day okay? thank you

@azrisweek

“I’m getting old,” Cassian groans, letting his heavy body drop onto the bench with a crack that doesn’t bode well for the structure of the piece. After all, the birchin is almost as old as Cassian is now. 

“Must be the constant losing because I feel great,” Azriel lies through his teeth as he sits, much more careful than his brother to not damage the old furniture more. He does feel great; winning always feels good, especially when it’s their traditional snowball fight and even more so when it’s his fourth year in a row. Still, he too can feel the years bearing on his bones and joints, especially now that he doesn’t spend nearly as much time training his body as he used to when he was still Spymaster of the Night Court.

“The only reason you can keep up your winning streak is because you don’t have any children to run after,” Rhys complains, stretching his leg out in front of him to gently massage his knee. ”You have no idea what real tiredness is until you’ve chased a nearly eighteen year old across all seven Courts trying to keep him from causing the whole continent to blow up.”

Azriel snorts. “Actually, I do know a thing or two about how that feels.”

“Oh fuck you, I was never that bad,” Rhys replies, but it has no real bite. He leans back and closes his eyes. Azriel shrugs, which Rhys can’t see now but might just feel through some brotherly intuition or simply the fact that they’ve known each other for nearly their entire lives.

“And anyways, it can’t be that hard,” Azriel adds, “You love your children, that’s why you had them. That’s why you continue to have them.” He shoots a pointed look at Cassian. He and Nesta just welcomed another two children into their home: twins, no more than ten years old, both from the far islands which crown the north of Illyria. That makes for five kids that his friends have adopted so far. Luckily, the House of Wind has enough room for all the youths they invite to join their family, and Nyx and Jasmin both go nearly green with envy since Noura is the only cousin with siblings. That is, until Elain gives birth again, which won’t be for a couple months now.

“True that,” Cassian mumbles, eloquent as ever as he too leans back against the wall. “Why don’t you have children anyway?” 

Azriel just stares at him, trying to decipher what it is his brother is really asking. It's not exactly like having a child is something that could just happen to him and Eris like it did for Rhys and Feyre. He knows of course that Eris will be expected to produce an heir some day, but it’s been barely fifteen years since he became High Lord. They still have time, time to figure out how they will construct this future family of theirs, time to be a family of just two. Azriel isn’t ready to share his husband with another soul yet when he already shares him with an entire Court, but that feels like too earnest of a thing to say here and now. It’s not that he thinks his brothers wouldn’t understand, he just doesn’t want to bring it up yet.

“It’s not like we don’t try,” he says finally with a sideways grin on his face, waiting for Cassian to look at him again. “We try so hard, you know, every night, but it just doesn't seem to be happening for us.” Cassian cackles and then coughs as he breathes in the hot air of the birchin, enriched with a thousand healing herbs - at least that’s what it smells like. 

“I’m sure you do,” he rasps through coughing and Rhysand smirks too, though Azriel doesn’t know if it is at the joke he made or Cassian’s face, which has taken on the color of pickled beetroot. 

“You’d never know,” he says, and Azriel just gives a noncommittal hum.

“Right?” Cassian agrees, his voice still rough though he’s stopped coughing for now. “I mean, you’d never know if you just saw you guys.” 

Azriel frowns. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Just, you know. You don't really act like a couple. I mean, compare that to me and Nesta or Rhys and Feyre; they’re all over each other.” 

Azriel has half the mind to turn his back to them to show them the clear proof that Eris, too, is all over him more often than not, and likes to leave his mark, thank you very much, but that feels childish. The truth is they don’t act like the other couples in the Inner Circle. That doesn’t mean they love each other any less.

“What, just because we don’t fondle each other in the presence of others?” Azriel responds, unable to suppress the slight defensiveness, his inner walls shutting down almost automatically. He knows his brothers mean no harm, but it still feels like a challenge. Eris and him are just much more private people than his brothers and their partners.

“Yeah but there’s private and then there’s whatever you guys have,” Rhys voices his opinion from the bench across the room. Azriel barely has time to admonish him for reading his mind without asking - which is something he promised he wouldn’t do anymore when Azriel became Lord Consort of Autumn, but old habits seem to be hard to break - when Cassian adds, “It’s not like it’s bad or anything. It’s just different from what we’re used to.”

“I suppose,” Azriel says. He’s not trying to spend the limited time he and his brothers have nowadays bickering - even though they are of course dead wrong…

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

▪︎

There is no way they will be able to talk to all these people tonight but Eris seems to be hellbent on trying, and if the High Lord is convinced of something it is harder to change his mind than to go along with it. Azriel has always been the type to choose the path of least resistance. Eris's hand is firm on his back as he leads him through the crowd of fae gathered in the throne room. He can feel Eris’s heartbeat, reverberating through their bond. It rarely feels stronger than when they are next to each other.

He’s been standing on the balcony for a while when Eris finally joins him. His wings are practically being baked in the hot sun of the Day Court but it’s still bearable. Better than being inside anyways.

“Taking a break, are we?” Eris says with a smile. Azriel just rolls his eyes.

“Didn’t really want to stick around to watch my family stick their tongues down their partners’ throats,” he grunts, and Eris laughs.

“The topics of conversations have changed quite drastically since this morning,” he admits, and that’s putting it lightly. The official visit that had been scheduled for diplomacy reasons has been derailed entirely. Now it seems more like they were only moments away from an orgy taking over the room.

“Just… stay with me for a little while,” Azriel asks, with more vulnerability in his voice than he would usually allow himself. It’s hot, he’s tired, he feels a little overwhelmed. He shifts slightly to his left so Eris can lean against the railing next to him. Their arms brush against each other and Eris reaches for his hand, locks their fingers together. 

They watch from the sidelines as the courtiers inside bicker and flirt and debate and disappear off into their own little corners away from prying eyes until Helion finally calls them to order (“So unlike him,” Azriel mutters and Eris grins). 

Minutes turn into an hour and the afternoon sun sinks further into a beautiful sunset. Finally Eris separates himself from the railing and makes a step back towards the hall. He turns to look at Azriel, their hands still joined between them.

“Ready to go back in there, Shadowsinger?” 

Azriel raises their hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Eris’s hand.

“Yes.”

▪︎

Azriel never thought listening to two brothers argue could be calming, but with Sasha and Bas bickering on the couch opposite him he feels like he could fall asleep at any moment. Then again maybe it’s not the heated discussion about grain import but the friendly fire that the Lady Vanserra had lit in the family’s private drawing room, the dog snoring at his feet, the sound of the wind outside the stained glass windows. Maybe it’s Eris’s hand, curled at the back of his neck, playing absentmindedly with his hair.

Azriel sighs and leans in closer, Eris’s low chuckle a familiar and comforting melody in his ear.

▪︎

People have slowly been filing out of the great ballroom for the past two hours. Personally, Azriel is elated. He does not mind balls, in fact there are two very good arguments why he should enjoy them a lot more than he does - those arguments being that usually, he gets to see his half of the family, and he gets to see Eris even more dressed up than he is on the day to day. Still, he likely won’t ever get used to being the host, and he is very glad that at least for now it is over. There is only one more breakfast to get through tomorrow before the last of their guests leave and he will only have to share his husband with one Court instead of all seven of them. 

“There you are.” Speak of the devil. “Ready for this to end?” Eris’s smile is slightly lopsided, and the way he holds his shoulders betrays his exhaustion, but he looks happy and it instantly lifts Azriel’s mood as well. When he turns to fully face his husband he can’t help but reach out to smooth down the spangles on his coat, which still looks practically impeccable. He knows it would bother Eris though, if he noticed it. 

The male places his hand over Azriel’s own and pulls him closer by his arm until they are standing only a few inches apart. 

“Dance with me,” Eris says, the look in his eyes so earnest that it feels impossible to deny him anything.

“Here?” Azriel asks weakly, his resolve already crumbling before he can even try to say no.

“Yes. Here, now.” 

“Alright.” 

There’s barely anyone in the hall now anyway, and even if there were a thousand guests still around them it wouldn’t matter; all Azriel can see is Eris.

▪︎

Azriel feels like they've been sitting here for hours, listening to Helion drone on and on about regulations in the creation of new subsections of the principal disciplines of magic. Eris at least manages to pretend to show interest, but Azriel is pretty sure that it's very evident on his face that he wants nothing more than to take another break from this meeting, or better yet, leave it be for today and return back to their room. 

He is distracted again when Eris moves his hand to rest between them on the narrow wooden armrest of his throne. He watches, mesmerized by the way his husband's many rings glint in the sunlight as he begins tapping his fingers against the armrest.

Tap tap tap. A signal?

Azriel glances up at Eris, who is still following the debate that has now started between Helion and Kallias, but his expression is a bit too fixed to be natural.

Tap tap, Eris's pointer finger sounds softly against the wood. Slowly, Azriel places his own hand next to Eris's, eyes tracking every movement his husband makes, watching as his mate extends his pinky finger until it rests against Azriel's own scarred hands. Slowly, so slowly, their fingers entwine, Eris’s rings scraping against his skin. When Azriel looks up, Eris is still staring straight ahead, a slight smile on his lips.

▪︎

The House of Wind is as crowded as ever on Starfall, but Azriel can barely hear his family cheering for the spirits as they travel across the sky, nor can he hear the music or the noise of the party. He’s too wrapped up in his mate, standing as close to him as he possibly can to take in his warmth, his scent, his quiet words even as the world around them seems to get only louder.

Under the light of a thousand stars, of spirits and candles and magic sparks Azriel leans in closer to wrap his arms around his mate just as Eris turns to kiss him.

Eris doesn’t say a word when Azriel slumps onto the couch next to him. He only moves his leg a little so he can fit comfortably, shifting his book from one hand to the other. Azriel sighs, his head rolling back as his muscles slowly relax from the long day. Eris’s thigh is leaned against his, with no pressure but a warm, comforting presence that makes him melt deeper into the couch. 

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

The trip from Night to Autumn is an arduous one, even more taxing in the winter months when it's cold and wet and generally unpleasant to be flying in the Solar Courts. He wants nothing more now than to simply curl up here with Eris, not talking, not moving, just listening to the rain patter outside their window, the fire crackling and the sound of Eris’s breathing. He sighs, his shoulders slowly relaxing as he lets the day pass by again in memory, from the early morning snowball fight to Solstice dinner, which had dragged on forever. He loves and misses his family, even more so now that they live so far apart, but his longing for Eris, for home, always wins out. 

Azriel stretches his tired body out across the whole sofa with a sigh, feet hanging off one end as he reaches for one of the pillows to rest his head in Eris’s lap. Eris helps him maneuver his wings into a more comfortable position and Azriel can hardly hide his groan of relief when all the weight is finally taken off of his back and he can feel fully at ease. Eris’s fingers get tangled in his hair as he starts to gently massage the back of his neck and his head with one hand and Azriel can feel his mate’s pulse against his ear, on his lips, across the bond, like the steady beat of his own heart.

“How was your trip?” Eris asks finally, though he still doesn’t look up from his book. 

I’m getting old, Azriel thinks, I missed you. They are so wrong about us.

“I love you.”

Eris smiles.

[bubybubsters]

Shame (Eris x you)

a/n: I kinda like this one

Eris week day 6: AU @erisweekofficial

Your POV

You sighed, placing your pen on your desk as you covered your face with your hands and groaned. Physics was depressing. What crazy alien had possessed you to decide to major in it?

Glancing out the window of your dorm, you frown at the flock of students. Your roommates are out there somewhere. There’s a party tonight at the Vanserra brothers dorm. And you can’t go because of a stupid physics test tomorrow. Checking your phone you find that nobody has texted you. Of course. You didn’t really have many friends anyway. Just a best friend studying architecture

A light tap against your window tears you out of your trance and you furrow your brow at the guy outside your dorm.

Eris Vanserra. Majoring in aerospace engineering and the man of everyone’s dreams. With red hair, piercing amber eyes, and the sharpest cheekbones you’d ever seen, how did he not have a girlfriend?

And what the fuck was he doing knocking on your window?

You cock your head at him and he smiles, motioning for you to come out. You debate refusing but you were in need of a break anyway.

Getting up, you slip on white crocs and round the building. The crowd if partiers has passed and there’s only a few people roaming the grounds of Forest House Academy.

You spot the sought after redhead surrounded by a small crowd of people and roll your eyes.

Why’d you even come out here?

You stretch for a few minutes, letting uour muscles relax after hours of sitting. Glancing at the growing crowd of girls around Eris you start to head back to your dorm.

Just as your hand lands on your doorknob a hand grabs your wrist.

“Hey, wait up.” The smooth voice of Eris reaches your ears and your brows shoot up.

“What do you want?” Crap, that was not the tone you wanted to take for the first time you met him.

Eris smiles, dimples showing. “I just wanted to see if you have a partner for the project in quantum mechanics.”

You freeze. “We have a project?”

He chuckles. “Yeah it’s on some subatomic stuff.”

You groan. Great, more homework to add to your already long list.

“So?” Eris raises a brow.

“Huh?”

“Will you be my partner?” He pauses. “For the project of course.”

You blow out a breath. “Sure…?”

“Great!”

You eye him vaguely wondering why he hasn’t left yet. Surely he’ll leave after you go into your dorm right? But that’d be rude. You inwardly groan, this is why you don’t socialize much.

“So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Eris grins and the sight makes your heart race. “Meet me outside the library at noon. That’s when you’re free right?”

You nod. “Of course.”

Only after you’ve said your goodbyes and sat back down do you wonder how he knew you were free from 12-3 on tuesdays.

The next day you’re rushing to the library straight after your thermodynamics class. You know your Professor Helion will ask you about it given that you usually stay after class to talk with him but you don’t care.

Eris, Eris, Eris.

The red-haired mans name is a mantra in your head. You catch yourself thinking of his splatter of freckles for the fourth time today and curse the guy silently.

You arrive at the library fifteen minutes early only to find Eris already there, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket.

“Hey.” You call nervously, putting your phone in your back pocket.

“Hey there little flame.” Eris replies, smiling.

Girls walking past “ooh” and “ahh” glancing over their shoulders to get a good view of Eris’s ass.

You unconsciously roll your eyes.

Eris frowns. “What? Not a good nickname?”

You blink. “Oh it’s not that. It’s just…” you wave awkwardly at the girls, “everyone’s obsessed with you.” You pinch yourself, reminding yourself of the need to develop a filter on your words.

Eris laughs, seemingly unbothered. “Does it bother you?”

“No. It’s just the way they obsess over some hot guy instead of something like grades.” You grimace as you remember doing exactly that on your way here.

“You think I’m hot?”

“That’s all you heard?”

“Pretty much.”

You sigh through your nose.

“Let’s just get to work.”

Two hours later the two of you are worn. Leaning back in your chair you close your eyes. You’d split up the work with you writing the essay and Eris making the poster then the both of you coming together to make an extremely detailed 3d model of a subatomic particle.

“Can we please take a break?” Eris practically begs.

“Says the one who insisted we don’t.” You snap.

Eris groans. “I’m sorry! Now please. One break.”

You hum. “Sure.”

Eris exhales in relief. “You want coffee? There’s a cafe not far.”

“Yes please!” The thought of coffee is exhilarating in itself.

Eris eyes your exhausted form. “I can get it. What do you want?”

You tilt your head. “Uhh not sure. Order for me.”

Eris nods, turns and is almost at the door of the library when you call out, “Thank you!”

You smile softly as you close your eyes. Maybe the all popular Eris Vanserra isn’t so bad…

Eris POV

Eris is walking back to the library when a voice hisses at him nearby. He glances around, spotting a flash of dark hair.

Jurian. His ex best friend.

Eris glares. “What?”

Jurian’s bright eyes meet his. “Come here.” He does, following Jurian to a closed off space.

“How’s the bet going? You seducing her?”

Eris grits his teeth. “The bet is going great. In fact one of these lattes is for her.”

“Awww you got her waiting for you.”

Eris shakes his head. “I don’t like this.”

Jurian smirks at him. “That’s too bad because you have to do it otherwise poor Lucien gets….” Jurian makes a slicing motion across his throat

“I know.”

“So you think you can bed her within the week?”

“I know I will.” Eris leaves Jurian with one last glower.

He finishes his walk to the library, now pissed and tense. When he gets to where he’d left you he’s at a loss of what to do.

You’re asleep, cheek pressed into the keys lf your computer, hair falling over your face. You’re beautiful.

Eris stands there, two coffees in hand staring at you for a long time. Maybe it just felt like a long time, it may have been minutes, even seconds before he moved. He sets the coffees down and packs up your stuff, quietly picking up the computer from under you. He slings your bag, then his over one shoulder and your body over the other. Eris picks up the two coffees and heads for your dorm.

When he gets there he desperately knocks, hoping one of your roommates is home. A brunette girl opens the door and takes him in. Brows raising she steps aside and shows him to your room. Setting you down, Eris looks around.

The room looks like yours, beige walls with pictures and memories strung everywhere. LED lights hang in strands in the doorway next to a messy desk with drawings and writings. He glances around before quickly stepping out and closing the door.

Your roommate watches him quietly.

He’s at the door when she speaks.

“Don’t hurt her.”

Eris stiffens, turning to look at the girl.

“Who are you again?”

“Feyre Archeron.”

“You’re Y/n’s best friend.”

“Guilty as charged”

Eris nods, “nice to meet you.”

Feyre nods back, albeit warily.

As Eris closes the door he whispers to her, “I would never hurt her.”

And Eris prays that he can keep that promise as Jurian texts him.

The text is a picture of him carrying you across the school accompanied by a single sentence

Jurian: You seem to really like her.

Eris rolls his eyes. And what if he did? He frowns. Did he? He had never cared what happened to his project parters before this. He’d certainly never carried someone halfway across campus. One could argue it was so Y/n would like him and sleep with him so Lucien would live. But… for once he hadn’t even thought of Lucien. He liked her. But Lucien, his brain screamed. Jurian’s family was full of gang members and assassins which meant if he didn’t sleep with Y/n then tell her she was a bet, Lucien would likely die. And he couldn’t get Lucien out because his brother was a stubborn ass. Eris cursed. What was he going to do?

There was no way be could keep his promise to Feyre and save Lucien.

His phone dinged again.

Jurian: It’d be a shame if Y/n went missing….

dividers by @anitalenia

taggin: @thelov3lybookworm@profound-imagination@randomgurl2326@theduskyprincess@mp-littlebit

[honeybeefae]

A Court of Wings & Fire: Chapter Four

Summary// Eris had control of everything in his life. The war was over, he was planning to take the Autumn throne, and nothing was left to surprise him…until he met you. A mating bond with an Illyrian was like a spit in his face and neither of you could understand why fate had put you together. You both swore off relations to each other, refusing to even be in the same court, but you should have known that fate is not to be tested.

(It's been a long time coming but chapter four is here! I think the bingos really helped my creativity blossom and spark this story back to life! I am so sorry for the long wait but I hope you all enjoy it!)

WARNINGS: This chapter does contain a slight illusion to SA towards the very end. It doesn't explicitly mention it but a reader could infer so just be cautious!

Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Five

The ceiling above your bed was starting to get all too familiar as you stared at it for the hundredth time this week. Sleep seemed to be evading you no matter what you did and so you had been left alone with you, your thoughts, and the ceiling above. All you could do was replay the deal you had made with Eris over and over in your head, wondering if you had made a mistake.

You knew he did not care what happened to you but with the revelation that severing this bond could unmask it, he seemed to be keen on making sure it all stayed a secret. Eris, for one of the first times in his life, had to rely on someone else and you knew it was killing him.

He had been staying true to his word since your conversation, not even so much as grazing the thread of fate so that it felt like it wasn’t there. Rhysand had found Eris minutes after he had finished up with you and you knew that if they didn’t need him, Rhys would’ve ended his life right there.

They all interrogated him ruthlessly. Cassian and Azriel flanked Rhys’s sides as they worked through his reasoning, his motives, and if he was telling the truth. He repeated the same story he had given you and despite all of his past mistakes, you believed him. 

Rhys did too.

Everyone had made sure that you were okay with the arrangement, pulling you out of the room so you could speak freely. Of course, you weren’t truly happy with having to keep this connection, this bridge, between his world and your own, but you could deal with it. As long as you both stayed as far away as possible, it was doable. 

A sharp knock on your door had your head turning, raising a questioning brow as Rhysand opened it and walked inside. He was in normal clothes for once, though he was still handsome, but you could tell something was wrong.

“What do you need so early in the morning?” You asked suspiciously, glancing out your window. “The sun is barely up.”

“There is something amiss in the Autumn Court. The wooded area around the Forest House. I don’t know exactly what but Elain had a vision and…” He trailed off, scratching the back of his head.

“And what? You want me to go?” You frowned, sitting up as your blankets pooled around your ankles. “You know I can’t go, we just had this conversation weeks ago. Why not Az or Cassian? Or Amren? Or literally anyone else?”

“Azriel is already getting ready but I need another pair of eyes on the situation. Cassian is a bigger liability than you are for this mission, he doesn’t know the meaning of being quiet.” Rhys smirked, giving you a sympathetic look. “I know everything is…tense right now but I promise you will be in and out.”

“What exactly are we looking for?” The floor was cool against the soles of your feet as you reluctantly got up, heading for your wardrobe. “And does Eris know?”

He ran a hand over his face and for maybe the third or fourth time since you’ve known him, he actually looked tensed. Rhys never liked to show his true feelings, even his anxiety, but you could tell by just the way he shifted his feet it wasn’t something good.

“We think Briallyn might have one of the troves. Or she’s trying to get it. I need you and Azriel to see where she’s sending her men and why.” He explained, looking at the door as you went behind your privacy screen and got dressed. “If she gets her hands on one of them-”

“It’ll be very, very bad.” You finish for him, adjusting your leathers and gingerly styling your hair the best way you could. “Is Azriel ready?”

“Always,” Azriel replied from the doorway, Truthteller tucked carefully in its sheath as he gave you a wink. You snorted. “In and out, okay, Y/N? This shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

You nodded and gave him and Rhys a two-finger salute, opening your balcony doors and walking onto the banister. Azriel followed behind you, opening his wings just as you dove head first off the balcony and let your wings spread wide. The free-falling feeling was something you loved every time you took flight, your stomach dropping as the wind caught beneath your wings and rose you back up to glide. 

Azriel quickly fell in line beside you, his wingspan much bigger than yours as the two of you weaved and ducked around the high tops of trees and clouds. You held your hand out as you passed over a small cloud, a small bubble of happiness breaking through the dark depression you had been in for weeks now.

“How have you been?” Azriel asked, turning his head to look at you as you glanced up at him. You pulled your hand back to your side and shrugged, leisurely flapping your wings to propel you forward. 

“As good as someone could be in my situation I guess?” You sigh, glancing down at the trees. They were starting to change colors from green to reds and oranges. “I just wish I had never gone to that meeting.”

“I think we all agree with that.” He chuckled softly. “I can’t imagine a fate worse than that…with Eris. I’ve noticed you’ve been holed up inside your room, missing training. Cassian kept wanting to bother you but I told him to give you some space.”

A clearing appeared and you paused the conversation to dive down, Azriel following right behind as your wings extended to ease your landing. Your shoes dug into the soft earth and crunchy leaves as you came to a stop. 

The forest was quiet as you took a quick assessment, not seeing anything unusual. You couldn’t stop yourself from admiring the beauty as the rising sun caught the multi-colored leaves, the wind blowing just enough to give them a rippling water effect. As much as the Autumn Court had its problems it truly was one of the most beautiful courts you had seen.

“I appreciate the space, Az. I really do.” You turned to look at him, patting his shoulder. “I know I haven’t been the best in attendance but I’ll try to do better. I think I just enjoy wallowing too much.”

“If I were in your shoes, I would too.” He smirked, adjusting his stance as his shadows curled up to his ear to whisper something only he could understand. You watched, not daring to bring up his own personal problems with a certain Archeron sister. 

You knew he was just trying to be personable, if not a little nosy, but he was the closest thing you had to a brother and he was only looking out for you. The last thing you wanted to do was talk about Eris with anyone, partly because you were scared of the bond strengthening and partly because you didn’t want to be seen as some damaged person.

It seemed like all anyone thought of you as right now was Eris’s mate. You couldn’t escape it even in your own house. 

“Hey,” Azriel whispered, lifting up a small log and resting it against a tree. “This is our meeting spot. One hour. Head north. Eyes open.”

“Got it. Be safe.” You whispered back, nodding as you started your search. The air was now still as you noticed how no animals could be heard scurrying around, an eerie quietness that didn’t sit right in such a large forest.

However, you couldn’t see anything that looked suspicious. There were no footprints, no strange markings on trees, nothing that would tip you off that someone was here. You raised your chin and sniffed, searching for any unfamiliar scents, but all you got was earth.

As you searched you remembered Eris talking about Beron’s curiosity about Briallyn, how he was looking for an alliance with her. None of you could figure out a good reason as to why he would be looking for that unless he was planning on taking over other courts, which wasn’t too far-fetched for the vile man.

If that were his true intentions he must be stupider than you thought. He would be standing alone with Briallyn against everyone in Pyrthian. Why would he risk something like that unless he was sure he would win?

You paused midstep as you remembered Rhys’s suspicion of the wicked woman having one of the dead troves. If that were true that she had unearthed one of those terrible creations, it very well could beat you all. And Beron wouldn’t put his court on the line unless he was sure of something…

Lost in thought, a small glimmer caught your eye right as you stepped into a hidden snare. You were blessed by the Cauldron that you hadn’t set it off, immediately taking several steps back as you examined the trap. The first thing you noticed was that it was not made for any animal. 

It was made for a fae.

Alarm bells went off in your head as you unsheathed your dagger and held it close to you. Why would there be a trap for a fae in a forest where they often walked? Who was this trap for? 

A crunch behind you made you turn around and lunge without a second thought, a snarl curled up on your lips as you went to strike at the intruder. However, you found yourself being wrapped in bonds of fire around your wrists, waist, and wings. It was very warm but not enough to burn you as you squirmed against the restraints, your eyes widening when you saw who was standing before you. 

Eris was glaring at you, his hair slightly disheveled and hanging freely as if he had just woken up, while only dawned in a light shirt and long pants. You flinched as

the bond within you sang at the sight of him, the smell of him, and watched as he responded the same.

“Let me go.” You hissed, fighting against his magic once more only to wince when he tightened the bonds. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Y/N?” He snarled, coming up to you in two long strides. 

“How did you even know I was here? Did you set this trap?” You retorted, falling to the ground as he released you before quickly scurrying up to go toe to toe with him. 

“I felt you through the bond, it woke me out of my sleep.” Eris curled his fists tightly by his side. “You reckless, stupid woman. Do you know what could have happened if one of my brothers had been the one to find you? Or my father? If this is some trick to strengthen our bond or-”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself, Vanserra.” You snorted, jabbing a finger into his chest. “The last thing I want is anything to do with you or this bond. I’m here because-”

A tree branch snapped behind the both of you, your eyes meeting with his as you stilled your breathing. Everything was quiet, not a whisper of wind, and you

shivered as you felt a dark presence behind you. 

The back of your neck tingled in warning but before the two of you could even react something or someone appeared behind you and hit the back of your head, knocking you out cold. The last thing you heard was Eris yelling your name as everything went to black. 

Later

When you woke back up you had a massive headache, immediately clutching the back of your head and whimpering as you felt the large knot that was protruding outwards. As you moved you heard the rattle of chains and felt a sense of dread wash over you like a bucket of ice water.

You looked around blearily, blinking multiple times to try and clear your eyes to take in your surroundings. The first thing you noticed, or in this case smelled, was must and iron. It was an awful combination with blood and piss mixed in that made you want to hurl.

As you tried to stand you realized those chains you had heard were attached to you. They were around your neck, your wrists, and your ankles and when you tried to stretch your wings you saw that they were also locked away. 

Not my wings. Not my wings. Not my wings.

Your heart started to race as fear and claustrophobia set in, using all your strength to try and break free only to realize that you felt weaker than you had ever had in your life. It felt like you were a caged animal and as you tried one more time to yank the chains out of the wall, you heard a voice from the corner.

“It’s faebane.” The voice said, dry and tired. “It weakens us. It’s no use.”

Eris’s eyes caught yours as you looked at him in surprise, taking in the dirt across his body as well as the bruises and cut lip. He looked awful but you were sure you probably looked worse. 

“What happened?” You croaked, looking around your cell. There was a small window at the top and to the side you noticed rows upon rows of other holdings. Some were empty, some had other faes, and some had dead bodies. “Where are we?”

“Briallyn’s dungeon. Her soldiers ambushed up when you were snooping around.” He recalled, watching as you glared at him with a frown.

“I wasn’t snooping, I was sent there by Rhys. He hadn’t heard from you but he had heard a rumor about your-” You tried to explain only to huff when he cut you off once more.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be stuck here right now.” Eris snapped, his temper growing with every second. You didn’t know how long he had been awake but it was long enough that he had been stewing in his own anger. 

“You’re the one who started shouting at me. If anything, you drew them to us.” You argued, flinching when he suddenly drew closer to you with rage in his eyes.

“Stupid Illyrian woman. I should’ve known you couldn’t follow basic instructions. All you were raised for is breeding and raising children.” Eris sneered, venom dripping off of each word. “That’s all you will ever be good for. You should’ve stayed in your place.”

You hated the way you winced, hated letting him see how his words got to you. He was cruel, you knew, but you didn’t realize how vile he could truly be. His words cut you deep and reminded you of all the things you had been told in your life from others, especially your own kind.

“I hate you.” You whispered, blinking away the tears as you turned away to look out the cell. Those words had been said to him by you plenty of times but this time, this time you meant it with every fiber of your being.

Eris watched you, looking at how they had caged your wings like an animal, and he felt the anger leave his body. He knew he had gone too far. His anger had gotten the best of him. Again.

He watched as you brought your knees to your chest and rested your head on them, not wanting him to see the tears even though he could see the slight shake in your

shoulders. The bond inside of him twisted painfully like a knife, as if punishing him for making you upset. 

Your ears perked up as you heard footsteps walking down the hall but you tuned them out as Eris’s words replayed in your mind. He had been so mean ever since he had met you. It still baffled you that the Mother thought the two of you were meant for each other, that you would be able to feel anything towards him other than resentment.

“Lay down.” Eris suddenly hissed behind you, his tone sharp. “Now.”

You turned to give him a death glare, not in the mood to take any orders from him before you heard the footsteps once more as they stopped directly in front of you. 

“Well, well, well, look who’s awake.” A male fae sneered above you, the one beside him grinning. “I was hoping you would wake up soon.”

“Let us go now.” You ordered, trying your best to be intimidating. “Or you will deeply suffer the consequences. I promise you.”

“I like em’ feisty. Makes you more fun to break.” The original one chuckled, whistling as two more men appeared with a set of keys. “Help me grab her.”

As soon as the doors opened you used what little strength you had to leap up and strike, landing a kick to the closet one and sending him to his knees. The attack was short lived as you fell to your side in pain, struggling as someone tried to grab your feet. 

The one who fell appeared in front of you and you spit in his face, trying to bite whatever you could before you felt a large hand grab a fistful of your hair and yank as hard as he could. It had you crying out sharply in pain, feeling as if your scalp was about to be ripped off as the others grabbed your legs and arms.

They unchained you from the wall and started dragging you down the hall, the hand still gripping your hair tightly as your eyes connected with Eris. He looked like a scared child, his eyes wide and face white as a ghost. 

And despite everything that had happened between the two of you, the hatred that had grown from the bond, you found yourself calling out for him to save you.

“Eris! Eris!” You screamed, struggling against the men as the cell became smaller and smaller. “Eris, please! Help me!”

But there was no response. 

Taglist: @elizarikaallen @kristeristerin @a-frog-with-a-laptop @littlebbb @introvertsuntes68-blog @clairebear08 @feyretopia @jangmi-latte 

[princessofmerchants]

My prediction about the next four books SJM will publish

I wanted to get this down somewhere, in part to process my angst about the possibility of what may come last in this next cluster of book releases 😫 but also to record the plot and character threads I am seeing as important heading into the next stretch of books SJM will release.

This includes HOFAS, ACOTAR, and TOG spoilers so it's after the break.

DISCLAIMER: These are just my guesses based on various interviews SJM has given both before and after the HOFAS release — THE ONLY SERIES BOOK THAT'S CONFIRMED IN THIS LIST IS ACOTAR5 BEING NEXT, and with that one, the main characters and plot threads I'll mention have also not yet been confirmed (beyond an avalanche of textual evidence 👀)

So, here are my predictions, circa 1.5 weeks after HOFAS was released:

➡️NEXT: ACOTAR5 - Az/Gwyn + Nesta and the Valkyries (which should also include Mor, ideally in a shared storyline with Emerie), Illyria / Ramiel / the Prison (and maybe a return of the pegasuses to Prythian), Gwydion and Truth Teller (not to mention the other two Made blades Nesta forged in ACOSF - also will Narben make an appearance? 👀), and I also think the first part of the Autumn Court drama may be told in this book - the truth about what happened between Mor and Eris, Beron's ongoing treachery, and Beron may die in this book making Eris High Lord (though some of these items may also be in ACOTAR6 instead - I do think the Mor and Eris story needs to come out in ACOTAR5 though, for Az to make peace with his 500 years of pining for her)

➡️FOLLOWED BY: A Throne of Glass crossover book - Shifter Fae + humans, more history and context about when the ancient Erilea Fae world-jumped to Midgard and served the Asteri, a story that creates threads and connections (of some kind, no idea how, and not sure which ToG characters it would entail) to Lidia (deer shifter with fire magic a la Aelin), Tharion (and the Mer as a people - ToG stans, remind me, were there mer in the ToG series at all? I'm pretty sure Rigelus says they hailed from the same world as the wolves and other Midgard shifters - I've read ToG in full but not as closely as ACOTAR and CC), and Ithan (wolf shifter with ice magic a la Dorian)

➡️THEN I AM THINKING: CC4: House of Many Waters - This would be the continuation of the story threads SJM did not resolve or finish by the end of HOFAS: Lidia's "service" to the Ocean Queen (and more RuhnLidia story with Brann and Ace 😍), Tharion/Sathia with Flynn and their earth magic / Avallen and the pegasuses, Ithan as the new Prime of the Wolves (and something with Perry - why did the antidote fade for her so fast?), Firstlight Zero, widespread distribution of the antidote, Ariadne (where did she go??!), and maybe more portal hopping to Prythian for Bryce, Hunt, Ember, and Randall (OH and maybe Ruhn here too, to get him in the same room as Rhys 👀) to further develop the cross-world friendships we saw forming in HOFAS

➡️WHICH MEANS FOURTH IN SJM'S AIRPLANE TAXI LINE WOULD BE (SOBS): ACOTAR6 - Elain/Lucien, Band of Exiles, Firebird retelling, Koschei, the mortal queens, and the conclusion of the big magical conflict that began with the finding of the Dread Trove in ACOSF, not to mention the Archeron sisters finally acknowledging and healing all of their familial baggage that was born from their collective and generational hardships from their time as humans (so Elain also coming to terms with her Seer powers and being Fae / no longer human - also answering the question: What happened when Elain went into the Cauldron?), I also think some of the Autumn Court drama would play out in this story Helion/Lady Autumn and Lucien's heritage (Day Court heir?), as well as more information about Papa Archeron from the time period of ACOWAR when Lucien traveled with him (LOTS of processing complex and problematic parents in this one!)

Again, these are JUST MY IDEAS - the ToG book guess is based on SJM saying after ACOTAR5 she's excited about the world her next book will be in which she implied was not the CC or ACOTAR world, and which will be emotional for her because of "who may pop up" - if that doesn't scream a return to her to the ToG universe then I don't know what would.

Then the 3rd and 4th predictions follow from that 2nd one being ToG and what I think she may focus on in it to add layers to her crossover - which seems like something she would want to do after how much work she's put into it so far.

I think there's a stronger and deeper fanbase for ACOTAR6 than there will be for CC4, so I think that could impact a decision to write and release CC4 first (since us ACOTAR stans would wait decades for the conclusion of that story and still buy a bazillion copies of it).

WHICH MEANS (SOBS), if these books are released one every 1.5 years on average... It may be quite a few years until we get our Elucien book 😭 ACOMAF came out in 2016. It would be PAST 2026 when ACOTAR6 gets released, over 10 years, until we get to see what actually comes of Elain's and Lucien's mating bond, if the above winds up bring true.

I swear, Eluciens are going to get the trophy for longest wait to see these two in their endgame, bless our patient souls 🏆

(There is always a chance the last two in the list will be in reverse order, with ACOTAR6 followed by CC4, but even if that winds up being the case, it would still be three books from now for ACOTAR6.)

[vmrsdias]

Impossible love pt2

Pairing: Ruben Dias x Reader

Plot: you love him, but he has to marry someone else

Author's note: English is not my firts language, the ending isn't the best though

y/n is you

It had been about six months since you left Manchester and you hadn't seen Rubén. You had heard that he got married but you didn't want to know anything about it because at least then you wouldn't break your heart even more.

After leaving you took the first plane and flew to Iceland, it was definitely not on the other side of the world but at least you were away from him and everything that reminded you of him.

Due giorni fa hai ricevuto una telefonata da Hanna che ti diceva che si sposava e ti invitava al matrimonio, la cosa che non sapevi era con chi si sposava, eri felice per lei perché se lo meritava moltissimo. Quindi eccoti qui all'aeroporto, aspettando che Hanna ti venisse a prendere.

“Y/N how long!!” you would have recognized that voice anywhere, so you turned around and she was there “Hanna you are glowing”“i’m so happy you’re here” he said putting his hands on your shoulders "I would never have missed your wedding" "come on, you'll come to my house then this evening there will be the pre-wedding dinner"

she said starting to walk towards the exit.

The ride home was silent, Hanna was driving and you looked out the window remembering all the times you walked, about 15 minutes later Hanna stopped in front of a huge building. "do you live here?" you asked him as you opened the door to leave, "yeah, on the fourth floor" he told you as he took your suitcase down.

"honey, we're home" Hanna shouted as I entered her house, "oh finally" you knew that voice because it was the same voice that said good morning to you in the morning, at that point you turned with wide eyes towards hanna and said "are you with Haaland? OH MY GOD IT'S NOT POSSIBLE", she then smiled at you and went into the living room. You never expected her to get engaged to Erling.

“how was the trip, y/n?” "Fine thanks" "I'm glad to hear it"

It was around 7pm and people were arriving at Hanna and Haaland's house, while you were finishing putting on your makeup you realized that he would be there, that his wife would be there, you should have run away, you could have told Hanna that you had to go back to Iceland.If you had run away you would have been a coward, not that disappearing into thin air six months ago wasn't worth it. You had just come out of your room that Hanna had given you, when she asked you if you could go and open the door, so, after crossing the corridor you arrived in front of the door. When you opened the door you didn't expect that right in front of you he would be there. You hoped the floor would open and you would fall in.You didn't know what to say, you were just staring at him. There was something different about him, maybe it was his beard or his hair, the only thing you heard in your ears was the sound of your heart beating too fast, you didn't even realize that Halland had appeared next to you .

It wasn't until he put his hand on your back and said hello to Ruben that you realised. "Hey hello Ruben come in" "thanks friend". his damn voice, that voice you missed.

Around 8.30pm everyone had already arrived and you were seated at the table, ironically Ruben was sitting in front of you, you tried in every possible and imaginable way to avoid his eyes. “y/n, honey, do you want something to drink?” "yes thank you. a coke with" “ice but without lemon” and it was after that sentence that you looked at him for the first time since you were sitting eye to eye. Hanna smiled at you at that point and went to get you that coke.

You got up and walked towards the bathroom, avoiding Ruben's gaze. When you entered the bathroom you breathed a sigh of relief. Two seconds later you heard someone knock on the door, so you opened it and on the other side there was him, looking at you with those eyes, those damn eyes. "What are you doing here Ruben? You should be over there" "this is where I wanted to be" "you never thought it would be like this" "that you and I would stop talking and you would disappear into thin air?" "yeah, where didn't your wife come with you?" "no, we broke up about a month after the wedding" "oh I'm sorry" no you didn't like it, in fact you were happy about it “yeah… I missed you y/n.” "you too Rub" fuck, it came out so natural that you didn't realize it until it came out of your mouth.

"Where have you been these past 6 months?" "Iceland, I was a physiotherapist for a hospital" "I thought you were in Spain, you always said you wanted to go and live there" "well it would have been obvious if I had gone there, no" "y/n I lied to you, I never loved her, I always loved you from the first moment you arrived at City" "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you look me in the eyes that evening and tell me you loved her? My heart broke into a thousand pieces"

"she was pregnant or so I thought, but after a while I discovered she wasn't and so we broke up" "I am sorry" "y/n, I want to start again, I want to be able to wake up next to you in the morning, I want you to steal all my sweatshirts" "I already told you Ruben I didn't steal your sweatshirt" “who cares about that sweatshirt y/n, I love you” "reuben" "you do you love me?" "I have always loved you there has never been a time when I haven't" and it was at that moment that ruben approached you and kissed you, it was one of those romantic kisses but also full of passion.

5 months later

“y/n y/l/n do you want to marry ruben dias here?” "I want it" "ruben dias do you want to marry y/n y/l/n here?" "I want it" "I pronounce you husband and wife, you can kiss the bride" you were so damn happy right now, that as soon as you broke away from the kiss you looked at ruben and said in his ear "you're about to become a father" he pulled away from your embrace and smiled at you with that smile you hoped your baby would have.

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Destinytober24: Day 15 - Together

Link to Ao3 if you prefer to read it there

"That is ridiculous." Eris intoned in the far back corner of Eido's Potion workshop. "Why is it called Chill Touch if it is neither a touch attack nor does cold damage?"

"Ya got me there, Moondust, I have no idea. These rules are like a millenia old at this point. Fuck if I know what the hell they were thinkin'. I'm still casting it, though."

He turned to his ghost. "Roll to hit."

Saint-14, Eido, and Eris all watched the Drifter's misshapen ghost as it levitated, wiggled and then dropped the twenty-sided die on top of the shipping crate they were using as a table. No one trusted the Drifter to touch the dice, but his ghost was deemed honest enough to not cheat, or at least, if it were going to do so, it would not be cheating in the Drifter's favour.

The die skittered across the surface and came to rest with the number 17 on top.

"Oooh. That's nice." The Drifter grinned. "That should hit."

"It does," Scribe Eido of the House of Light tried to keep the disappointment from her voice as her four eyes peered over the top of her DM screen.

"Alright, alright, alright. Damage time. Ghost?"

The Drifter's ghost levitated an eight-sided die and let it rattle across the table, coming to rest near the first one it had rolled. The number on top was a 1.

The Drifter's ghost emitted its single tone.

"Ugh. Well at least he can't heal for a turn," the Drifter dipped a thin triangular chip into a small bowl of Saint-14's seven layer dip and ate it.

"Hmmm… you are correct," Eido said, one hand holding a data pad, another hand manipulating the datapad screen, a third hand marking down damage on a paper behind her screen, a fourth hand adjusting a small statue of a tree on the table in front of them. "That is one of the effects of that spell. Unfortunate."

"For you, sure," the Drifter replied with his mouth full. "Not for us."

Saint laughed and sipped from his drink. Several potions burbled in flasks and twisted tubing behind him. Globes of glass terrariums containing various plants dangled above them as light filtered down from several skylights in the ceiling. One of the city cats had wandered into the workshop and was rubbing up against Saint-14's leg, purring as he scratched it behind its ears.

"That's all for me." the Drifter concluded. "My turn's done. You're up Three-Eyes. Go mess 'em up."

The small diorama on the table was briefly cast in a green glow as Eris leaned forward, examining their miniature battlefield.

"Can you not relocate elsewhere?"

"I already moved," the Drifter explained, eating another dip covered chip. "Can't move again till next turn."

"Your position is exposed and you only have eight hit points."

"Yeah well, they can always miss."

"They are unlikely to miss. Your armour class is very low."

"I'm a wizard. That's normal."

"If all three assailants hit you it is likely you will die."

"Do not worry Eris!" Saint said warmly from across the table. "I will heal him!"

"Besides," the Drifter added. "They can't kill me if you kill 'em first, so go get 'em, Moon Druid of Vengeance."

"Hmmm… very well. I will attack by throwing my spear at the leader." Eris picked up the 20 sided die and rolled it. It landed on a 7.

"Oh…" Eido said, attempting and failing to hide her delight. "That is a miss."

Eris frowned. "I see."

"And you spear has landed… here." Eido reached out two of the three fingers on her upper right hand to place a small glass token on the map. "You will need to retrieve it before you can attack with it again. Would you like to do anything else on your turn?"

"That is frustrating. I am unused to such a simple action failing."

"We're first level characters," the Drifter said through a mouthful of chips. "It's normal to miss."

"I will move between the assailants and the Drifter," Eris said, picking up her small game piece and placing it next to the Drifter's. "I believe that should enable him to use me as partial cover against two of them."

"You sure you wanna do that?" the Drifter asked.

"I have more hit points than you."

"By two."

"That should be enough to make a difference."

"Awww… that's sweet, but this ain't me, this is Lanlar the Magnificent, and he's a bit of an asshole."

"Strange, I thought you about follow up on your statement by making an argument regarding a difference between yourself and your character… not a similarity."

The Drifter's Ghost expanded and its eye went wide.

"Ooooh!" The Drifter put his fingers up to his lips and winced as he pulled away from Eris in a mock flinch.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Saint slapped the table in delight, causing all of the miniatures to bounce slightly but not fall over.

Eido giggled.

"Wow, Three-Eyes…" the Drifter said, leaning back with an admiring smile. "Wow."

Link to the entire month's worth of prompts on Ao3, posted daily.

[skyfallscotland]

Hi! I'm Amy (She/Her)

I write fanfic, which you probably already know if you came here from my AO3 page (where I go by hurricane).

Currently I'm writing for Fourth Wing.

My favourite colour is green, I love Taylor Swift and Fall Out Boy, and I hate spicy food (but love spicy books).

Below you'll find links to my work/fandom masterposts & some FAQ

✧ Fandoms/Works

Fourth Wing

ACOTAR

✧ FAQ

Do you have an update schedule?

Not really. Sometimes it's once a week, sometimes twice, sometimes not for weeks (though I try to only do that in between projects), it really depends on the hyperfixation.

How do you write so much?

I get super anxious about starting things and not finishing them (and then having people asking me about them) so I try to write ahead before posting, so it isn't always in real time. I do however write on average (based on year to date) 2.5k words a day, which I guess is a lot for most people? The simple answer is I don't work full time and I try to write everyday.

What's your writing process?

I prefer writing either in the morning or later at night. I always write in bed, propped up against the headboard. Sometimes if I'm home alone I'll venture out to the kitchen and feel supremely uncomfortable for no reason, so I quickly return to my low-lit cave.

I just write what I'm inspired to write when I'm inspired to write it. I've learned not to force it, that just makes writer's block worse!

Do you have any writing advice?

I do! I get asked this a lot, so I wrote a masterpost: Part One—the advice & Part Two—the resources

Can I bind your fic?

At the moment my stance on fic binding is that it’s fine if it’s only for personal use and not for sale, profit, distribution or commission. Please don’t use commercial companies like print houses (due to legal issues). I feel very strongly about fanworks being and remaining free, and the way fic-binding has been commodified recently worries me 💖

Do you allow translations of your work?

You’re bilingual, that’s so cool! I appreciate you asking 💗 I believe in fanfiction being accessible to everyone. I would request however at this time that any translations of my work be kept on AO3—there’s a checkbox you can tick to link it as a translation.

Can I use a scenario in your fic for my own or write something inspired by your fic?

Mostly, yeah. See my in-depth answer/thoughts on this here.

Can I use your characters for a fic of my own?

I respectfully ask you not to at this time. All my original characters from my series' are very close to my heart, especially Remi (the one people ask about the most) and their stories are not yet finished! So there's more you guys don't know about them. At the moment, I'm a bit sensitive about it and I'd like to keep them close. If you do still write something inspired by them, it's also highly likely I won't read it, at least until I'm finished the series. Thanks for understanding.

What else are you working on?

I have a dozen fic ideas for Fourth Wing, at least four of which I've already written bits and pieces of while working on Basgiath (Remi's Version). I don't run on any kind of schedule though, they'll see the light of day when they do and if they don't, then they won't!

I also have two original novels I'm writing, one of which I hope to finish in the next couple of months (it's in the plotting stage!) 🥰

Will you ever come back to ACOTAR?

I plan to at some point, hopefully this year! I just want to get through some of these Fourth Wing ideas while I'm still inspired and eventually I'll come back to write Callie's story and maybe some Feysand, or an Eris fic. It's tough because I've been writing that series in third and my FW works have me in first person mode. I find it very hard to switch between them.

Do you have any fic recs?

I do! Only for Fourth Wing at the moment, you can see them all here. I'm slowly adding to the list/collection 🌟

[stephensmithuk]

The Valley of Fear: The Warning

Originally serialised in The Strand from September 1914 to May 1915 and in US from September to November 1914 in supplements for various Sunday newspapers, the fourth Sherlock Holmes novel was first published in book form by the George H. Doran Company (now part of the Doubleday subsidiary of Penguin Random House) in February 1915 in the United States when that serialisation was done. The UK edition by Smith, Elder & Co. came out in June 1915.

The US version is the one on Wikimedia Commons.

The Greek version of E or "Epsilon" looks like this:

British libel law requires the defendant to prove the contested statement is true on the balance of probabilities, the reverse of the American requirement where the plaintiff must prove the statement is false and the defendant knew that.

The first asteroid had only been identified in 1801; that being Ceres, now officially a dwarf planet in the same category as Pluto, Eris, Sedna and some others. Most asteroids cannot be seen with the naked eye.

The problems of informing someone of the cipher being used and the message being sent without risking compromise has long been a challenge for cryptography.

More on book ciphers here, with spoilers for various other works including BBC's Sherlock:

The Bible not only has a vast range of editions, but it also a vast range of translations available. The standard version used in Church of England churches would be the King James Version and even that has different editions.

Bradshaw's would have a wider range of vocabulary in the city/town guides, but probably not enough for most messages.

Whitaker’s Almanac was an annual reference book published by various publishers, most recently Rebellion Publishing, between 1867 and 2021, it has been on indefinite hiatus since then.

It contained a lot of esoteric material. The 1887 guide includes things like:

The rising and setting times of the five planets visible with the naked eye every seven days.

A calendar of appointed Bible readings in churches for every Sunday.

The date of Easter for every year from 1500 to 2000.

The monthly wages of seamen out of the port of London from 1848 to 1885

A guide to the War Fleets of the World.

Income tax from 1842 to 1887 - it was 8d per £ over £100 in 1887, but nothing under that amount.

Railway stock prices.

The fastest and longest non-stop trains; the 4.17 (I assume pm) from Grantham to King's Cross took 1 hour and 58 minutes to cover 105 1/4 miles, at an average speed of 53 1/2 mph. Today, Hull Trains will get you there in 1 hour and 3 minutes, an average speed of 100mph!

Good and bad harvests... with the marriage rate in the same table.

Mahratta is an old spelling of Maharashtra, the Indian state that is home to Mumbai.

Scotchman was a contemporary term for Scotsman; today using "Scotch" to describe people is considered offensive by many Scottish people. It's fine for certain objects, like the drink.

[cowboylament]

“With 50 years behind us…” Lucien said, his eyes looking at my lips. I let mine look at his for the first time in many years. That first night I’d seen him I noticed them. He didn’t even glance, didn’t even look in my direction or notice me until he found me with Eris. I’d felt so young, so childish, wanting to be under his gaze. Now I was no different, or entirely different. I wanted to know what they felt like, if they too were warm. 

“And what about real life?” I asked.

“What about it?”

“When things return to normal, as they will, you'll feel differently.”

“And?”

“And I will be left to want what I have never wanted before.”

Lucien smiled, there was a flicker of amusement but his brows mirrored the confusion mine had only just displayed. I knew that our real life was too close, always waiting to take us back to the places where we existed, where these things shared did not reign or govern anything.

or

Y/N doesn't know what Lucien meant Part One, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Bonus, Ao3

I slept for the first three days. One by one my court, save Amren, kept me company in my room. Cassian joined me for dinner and Rhys was always there for breakfast. Morr laid in bed with me late into the afternoon gossiping about one thing or another. Azriel too, who had arrived late into the evening, returned over and over I think with a guilty conscience for not having been there from the start. 

The only other absent party was Lucien. 

I waited for him that first day. Even with the visits of others, their chatter, my mind was half in the silence of elsewhere. The house remained quiet, absent of life. There was no extra noise, no recurring sounds. He’d said we’d go back and we had. The future would look the same but in Velaris. 

On the fourth day, sleep did not appeal any longer, though sitting idle wasn’t much better. I couldn’t keep my attention on any book for longer than half a page, so I took long stretches by staring out the window. The fall breeze had begun to sweep through rattling the glass. I could see the chill like it were as real as the sun, the houses, like the air temperature took a realized shape on the horizon. 

“I brought this for you.” 

Morr had stopped knocking, not that I had much to hide. In her hands was a heaping plate of food, twin to her own. 

The talking points had not changed, we recycled the same topics even as they grew stale. Despite what she’d wanted to know the first night back she had not again brought up Lucien and when she did it was always in passing. Something about him staying in his room or the glares that had passed between him and Rhysand while I was being stitched up. She lingered over no topic, looked without longing to understand the events that had led to our arrival at the townhouse. 

“I saw Lucien on my way up.”

The scrape and clink of our silverware was the only noise. A false casualness, a feigned indifference.

“He emerged from his room then.”

“He joins us for meals now, sometimes I see him go into the library.”

When the days got long and boring, and night swept in before I could grow tired with it, I imagined his reason for not coming upstairs was because he’d left. I couldn’t imagine him anywhere in Velaris particularly, which frightened me. I could only imagine him existing in places we’d already been. In the Day Court library, in Adriata. If he left this city there was no coming back. I could do nothing for him.

 I don’t know if this reality was worse, but with similar ease in wounding him, he could bother me just the same as ever. We’d each saved the other's life so we were even. He owed me no visits, I needed no explanation. The fact that he could bother me just by not being here led me to believe it was better he not come at all. 

“Well,” I said, discarding my plate to my nightstand. Its clatter was the loudest noise to hit the house in the last few days. Everyone had taken to the same quietness as the wraiths. “He can be social when he wants to be.”

Morr pushed some food around. She wanted to know still, I made no mistake in that. Whether she’d been wanting to be polite or was waiting for me to broach the topic again was unclear. Even now, however, she said nothing. She moved to topics of dinner at the house of wind.

“He said he wants to talk to you first though.”

“About?”

“Well, I could venture a guess,” Morr said, relaxing into the usual conversations again. She threw herself into the pillows on the other side of my bed and buried herself into them. “I imagine he wants to get an idea of how you’re feeling about it all now that some time has passed.”

“He thinks I’d change my mind? I woke up and wanted Lucien dead?”

She sighed, “no, I think he just knows that night was intense and emotions were high.”

He acted this way with no one else, asking more than once if they meant it, what they wanted, or what they’d said. For all its well intentions I wondered if he found me so fickle, weak. It didn’t matter that words were the only thing I had, the thing I felt good at. It was distinctly brother, all other second-guessing came in the form of strategy, came from a High Lord. For as rare as it occurred, it evoked also the rare moment of doubt, questions if I weren’t in part given this job for the sake of having one.

“We can’t go back,” I said. 

“Why?”

“I don’t know but we can’t.”

Morr leaned up onto her elbow and retreated into the routine casualty we’d spent most of our lives sharing secrets with like there was nothing new about this. “If you wanted to take it back you could.”

“It's not that I wish to take it back, it's just different.”

“I found him here you know, that morning after.”

I had assumed he’d left on his own. After staying up all night he’d become too tired to sit any longer or he’d fallen asleep and it began to hurt his neck. I assumed he wandered downstairs and never came back. If he’d said anything, of why we were there, Morr didn’t reveal it and she’d get no words from me either. Silence passed. I checked my bandages, they were in place as I knew they were. I pressed down my collar, brushed my hair back, winced with the effort. I returned her stare only after I felt sufficient time had passed. 

“All these years you said he didn’t care about you. What is this I’m seeing now?” She asked.

“Emotions were high you said as much. He certainly hasn’t been particularly warm since.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“How do you feel?” The words at last burst from her, she couldn’t wait any longer. 

I threw my hands up with an exasperated sigh. There was no way to say it, I feel like I went to one world and woke up back in my own. And it all looks the same, but nothing is. I have to operate now, with the feelings of this one and the knowledge of the other and they can’t intertwine. 

Morr let out an equally frustrated laugh. Her’s was less malicious, but I felt the annoyance nonetheless. She just wanted to know, as she knew everything else before this. She was used to having my feelings and thoughts available to her. The males of ages ago at the time of their occurrence held little weight. It meant nothing to talk of them, their ends were understood and guaranteed. We’d spend hours in this very room, this very bed, going over every little detail. Now she wanted words for something that words did not exist for. 

“You told me about everyone else.” She stood from the bed and made to grab her plate. When she looked back at me, saw the look on my face, my stare, all annoyance had vanished. I half hoped Lucien was suffering my own brooding, though I had not felt much of his. She gave a half smile before rolling her eyes.“He’s different then.”

“I’m different.”

***

The following morning Rhysand brought with him no breakfast. I stretched at the knock he gave my door and the pain, though it was sitting beneath the skin, did not linger as long as it had before. When I called him in he remained in the hall.

“You’ve been given leave to haunt the rest of the house and not just your room.”

“Thank you for the warm welcome.” I threw the blankets off and with the most careful of movements rose out of bed. It took me less time than it had these past few days, but it was clear the wound still caused issues. Rhys walked over to put his arm out for assistance after I was up.

“Please, try to reel it in, your bedside manner is suffocating.”

“If you want to be treated like a baby you should have asked me to send Cassian.”

Rhys on our walk downstairs told of all the inhabitants of the townhouse. Lucien’s name remained absent in the reports of the latest comings and goings. As we made it down the stairs I half expected, even with the house empty, some sound would have returned to the world. That because I could leave my room the city outside the walls would slip in, that life reverted back to its ways with us. No, the world remained eerily quiet. 

In further disarray, my brother turned us left into the office rather than toward the dining room. I could smell the food beyond the threshold. When I saw the plates waiting, the tea, I stopped. Our arms slipped out from each other and he turned to see the issue.

“It's just breakfast,” he said when he saw the weariness of my posture.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Well, that's too bad. I have your favorites.”

We were both lying. It was not just breakfast and I was certainly hungry, he knew that and I knew that. The sound of my hunger could likely have been heard the moment he took that first step upstairs. Just as the sight of his office alone tipped me off on what this was really about. I wasn’t sure I could give him what he wanted. He, like Morr, was impossibly settled in some old way of thinking, of acting, that no longer was of any use to me here. He hesitated though, throwing his hands in his pocket, looking around the room with all the nonchalance of someone guilty.

“Morr said you want to know how I’m feeling about all this.”

“I might, but it's possible that I might also want to enjoy some quality time with my sister you know.”

“It's possible though unlikely.”

His eyes narrowed at me and though they remained playful, I sensed that a High Lord lay beyond them. Our game was coming to a close and an order was waiting.

“Things are a little time-sensitive right now, but we can talk about whatever you can talk about and then if we need to come back to it we’ll come back to it.”

When my brother had said we’d talk later it occurred to me that while I had made it out of the woods, Lucien had not. Part of him was still dangling there, or in between, running. He was safe but only within the confines of specific formulas. What terrible things happened to those who broke bargains. I’d avoided death of a terrible kind, what would be made of me if I didn’t uphold my end? It made my palms sweat, how easily this membrane could break, and how fast all that flooded it would end what had barely begun. 

“Ever the negotiator.”

Rhys heaved a sigh of relief. I knew he understood that I wanted to, to tell them of what was going on, but he couldn’t figure out why I wouldn’t. Nevertheless, an easygoing smile returned to his face, but I didn’t take it for mockery. He said, “part of the job.”

We ate breakfast from the two armchairs. It was just the same as we had the mornings before, where what lacked in formality allowed the relaxation of family and the sharing of private jokes. The normalcy of it, of knowing what to say and how to make him smile, was of some comfort. When I leaned back against my seat, full, all that had once been terrifying in its abstract had moved into sharper clarity.

“Alright. Let's get it over with,” I said.

“We can begin wherever you see fit.”

I half expected some resistance, some confrontation, but when he said that it was obvious he wouldn’t be that way. It was my choice, and it had always been my choice. Even when he’d found out I was mated he’d lectured on my safety, but in the end, there had been some understanding that whatever I wished would be allowed. Things now were more complex but it was a good feeling, and an open one, the confidence of knowing someone was ready to listen to you rather than thinking I’d argue with a wall. 

“Everything I said still stands. I haven’t changed my mind or rethought it, and it's not because I was injured that I said it. This isn’t his fault, what they did.”

I didn’t have to say who. To name Lucien implied a level of tolerance I did not have. The bargain had been made and the mating bond existed and something in me wound tightly with the strings of fate had pulled me this way.

“How do  you visualize him here, in Velaris?”

“I don’t, I can’t, but I don’t think that means he won’t do well. He’s unfortunately good at what he does.” I relaxed into that statement just a bit, letting my eyes close on the images of us in the very same rooms over the years. People spoke warmly of him, even to me.

Rhys raised a brow, “you’d work with him?”

“It's not as if we haven’t already. If anything I’d see less of him. I’d speak to whoever they send from Autumn now. Somewhat ideal.”

“But you’d still see him, in this city. And if I made him part of the court, would the close proximity make you...”

“Explosive?” I offered.

“Rash.”

If we could avoid each other in a single house, moving through rooms seamlessly, how little we’d see each other when we’d have free reign of all the rest. Who was to say though, how we’d be now. That remained the most important factor of all, and it was entirely unknown. It doesn’t have to be this way forever. Though forever seemed bent out of shape, half submerged, hidden from view. My pursuit was aimless, not the least without having seen him again, seen how he’d be. Maybe it was this that was different, the level of our tempers and the deepness of the crease in our brow. Or maybe it was some other thing entirely, we knew something we had never known, of that impossible distance in death. He could indeed stray too far from me. 

“I don’t think it will be an issue,” was all I said.

Rhys huffed a laugh, but I watched his thoughts carry him away. I pulled at a loose thread of my pants, letting the fabric run in two directions, the thin line curving around the thigh. 

“I can’t tell you much else.” I began, “not even because you’re my brother I just don’t know what to say. It cannot be undone, whatever happened out there. But I can’t have the pressure also of having to prove to you something you don’t really desire to believe.”

“How do you mean?”

“You don’t trust him.”

Rhys winced, “well I don’t know his intentions.”

“That's why you had Azriel’s shadows in my room then, when he was there.” It was not like the shadow of death, what had shaken the chandelier. And despite the wind of the past few days, no draft had been strong enough to repeat it. It took me about two days of watching the window to work it out.

“I wanted to know if he was telling the truth.”

“And?” I didn’t think Lucien was lying but the certainty would be an added relief, to know what he thought. The mortification of their intrusion had already subsided after a few sleeps. It wasn’t worth the argument, I realized honestly that it only bolstered mine. He was not his family. Their watching had relieved a pressure, rather than adding to it for once. 

“Well if you’re going to fall for a few cheap lines..”

It didn’t matter to me that he was joking, a sharp pain spread across my chest like a shattering glass. Wherever Lucien was I’m sure he’d be feeling it. This might even have been the first thing he’d felt from me since we’d arrived. 

“Don’t be cruel.”

Rhys leaned forward as if he could backtrack, “I’m just saying. He’s from Autumn.”

“For a court that praises itself on making a new world, you’re awfully content to go with your old way of thinking when this new world shows up.” This struck him, truly, I could see it in the way he straightened, how his familiar posture turned more formal, considerate. “If you don’t intend to change then I have intentions too and I won’t waste my time. I’m too tired.”

The wind let out two howls, then another, before he released something from him that had been lingering, a tension or a breath.

“You trust him?”

“Yes.”

“And you like him?” 

I put a hand out, “let's not get ahead of ourselves.” 

He and I laughed, really laughed then for the first time in days. Not even because it was particularly funny, but for what it released. I think what had gone from him was that momentous weight of something so small as almost, almost losing the last family you have left. Almost not making it back, a minute too late, a mile too far, far too many almosts had been in place. But everything had happened as it did and I was here and at least to him, I was more or less the same. 

“I was worried your mate’s habits were rubbing off on you. You’ve become so serious.”

“I was just bored. How many times can I listen to you or Cassian talk about the time you had to walk up all 10,000 steps to the house of wind? At least my mate offers me some different entertainment.”

“So I heard,” Rhys smiled.

“Cassian’s a loudmouth.” 

“Oh no, you outed yourself that night. It's a quiet house and if I hadn’t nearly killed Lucien for the laugh he got when he heard I might have joined in when you’d admitted it. I’m not surprised though, you always liked to choose the males I hated.”

I rolled my eyes, “You’re insufferable and you’d probably like Lucien given that his jokes are always at my expense.”

“Well if he joins this court he’ll fit right in.” I met his stare, the amusement there and I knew he was making an offer to me as my brother first. “I’ll claim your mate.”

I wanted to feel better than I did, wanted to feel I’d done something, but nothing came of those words. It wouldn’t be as easy as sending a letter, Beron would take pleasure in the torment of it all, as he always did, as he always does. He’d want something.

“Thank you.”

“I thought you’d be happy,” he said.

“So did I.” 

Nothing had really been resolved. I still knew nothing. I had no frame of reference for the future or even the previous understanding of the deal we’d made of the bond with its rules and obligations. Everything was hinging on something else, and the thought that everyone in this court would be watching, wouldn’t even be able to help themselves by meddling in it, made my stomach hurt.

I closed my eyes, a lethargy overtaking me. “It doesn’t help much, having five people watch you mortify yourself.”

I could feel his amusement without looking. He didn’t get it though. I always knew what was going to happen, the stakes were low. No matter how I said it or showed it, that this was different, they didn’t get it. Lucien could be given refuge, could hear of our claiming, and decide to go anyway. The bond which had suddenly added so much weight to our world was still worth almost nothing. And they’d watch it happen, all the while meddling and probably making me look even less capable of having any power in this life at all.

“I’ll leave your business to you to work out.”

I opened my eyes just a bit, to reveal the slightest skepticism. 

He relented, “I can’t say what everyone else has planned.”

I groaned, sitting up straighter but found all the same I could laugh. I raised my glass to him, “Well let's at least hope we all find some entertainment.”

He raised his glass back and we sipped. I had no doubt it would be, this court always managed it. They probably already had a bet between them all going on how long it would take Lucien to move out. 

“Now.” Rhys sighed. “I need you to show me what happened that night.”

Presenting the memory to my brother didn’t bother me half as much as I thought it would, and it seemed twice as fast. Regardless he said nothing when he pulled himself from my mind, but he was rigid, eyes glazed over with thought. I asked him to walk me to the garden if only to rid him of the ailment. Just as soon as we walked into the hall, however, Lucien appeared on the other side. Rhysand took no small amusement in making himself scarce. He vanished completely behind his office door with some false excuse, the bastard. 

Lucien looked the same. I don’t know what I thought he’d look like, but I expected something palpable for me to hold onto. Something that would signal to me that he was telling the truth, that it didn’t have to be this way forever. In a way, what I really wanted, was for this to be easy, was for the change to arrive fully formed and realized, but that was rarely ever the case. 

“Surprised you’re still here,” I said crossing my arms. 

“Not as if I can leave.” He said taking a similar defensive stance. Even through the sweater he was wearing, I felt the presence of his skin, the warmth of his body. There were many things I couldn’t forget even as we appeared back in our usual place. 

“You’ve been busy then?” I asked, “Haven’t had the time to walk yourself upstairs to my room again?”

He was mad, “I hadn’t realized you wanted to see me.” 

“I assumed you’d be curious as to how I was doing.”

“You assumed wrong.”

A door shut somewhere in the house, but besides that the world was motionless. I couldn’t even see his breath, his blinks, and if I were doing so I didn’t notice or feel it. It was immovable, the circumstances, like a locked jaw, grinding teeth, we could only press further into ourselves or stay where we were.

Lucien cleared his throat, “big emotions this morning.”

My fists clenched on their own accord, “it hasn’t been easy.” 

Each word seemed abrasive compared to the silence around us. In contrast, however, a tautness softened in me where Lucien’s feelings had been. He cared, cared for what I’d felt. My body returned the sentiment in answer. I dropped my hands and softened back. For all this, however, he remained tall, as firm-faced as I was. What interior emotions, these years, had been lost to our shields?

“You could have asked for me,” he offered.

“I’ve certainly had the time to work that out.” 

His throat bobbed, something like exasperation with sorrow or maybe it was a guarded amusement because he knew that I could not ask him to come, the embarrassment of it. There was no winning. He’d laughed at me before, over any hint I’d been looking for him, but he found this self-preservation just as amusing. Even when he himself was just as guilty, he had offered nothing substantial that I myself did not give first. 

I felt it though, his hesitating, the strain of something, and he made to step forward.

“I don’t suppose Y/N has informed you of the news?” Rhys said appearing just when we might have grown not to need him. The silence of the hallway and all its tension had slipped beneath the door to his office and he must have taken that to mean we needed him. His arrival was enough for me to understand that though he’d offered me the privacy to deal with this on my own, he would still let it be known when he’d have done something differently. I don’t think he could move without at least two motives.

“No, she was so preoccupied with our warm hellos I suppose she didn’t think of it.”

I mirrored his dryness, “welcome to the Night Court.”

A surge of gratitude, relief, and grief, struck me square in the chest. I might have staggered backward, its intensity unannounced in every regard. He didn’t crumble even slightly at its weight, so I felt responsible not to give him away and remained where I stood. 

The relief made me relieved, the grief too I mourned. They were intertwined, and even if I wanted to I could never untangle them. Even if we were different, if we were mates who liked each other he had lost something I could never replace. We would both have to live with that. 

“Thank you, I know this isn’t an easy task. I appreciate the risk.”

Rhys shrugged, “you’ve risked more for less. It's time to see what we might make of this new life.”

My brother looked toward me and I reddened. Among the citizens of Velaris, we were known for our character, our real character. Beyond we were that terrible Night Court from the Hewn City. Lucien didn’t know of our dreams, of our aspirations, what we tried to do. To think that he might understand what was secretly spoken of, our hope for the new world, turned my stomach.

“I’m at your disposal,” Lucien said to Rhys though his eyes remained fixed on me.

“Good. Then you won’t mind taking my sister to the garden for fresh air and exercise.”

“Rhys,” I said but he was already walking away from us.

“Madja’s orders. After that, please, the both of you, try to settle in.” The doors to his study closed once more like he had work to do and I could practically hear him biting back laughter on the other side of the door. I’d have to ask what he thought it meant, letting me deal with my business. His only plans were probably to winnow to drinks with Amren and Morr. He had the time. When I turned back toward my mate he raised his brow.

I took a seat in one of the chairs sitting in the sun. I hissed, a tugging at my side sent a burning pain into my ribs. Lucien flinched forward but resisted. All I could do was laugh. When I showed him the way, for the first time in a long time, I noted he was uncomfortable. It amused me the way it might have before. I could tell, unlike Rhys, he wasn’t sure if he should offer me his arm or leave it and he seemed internally to be arguing with the two options. His eyes darted to my side, my elbow, and lifting his hand like a flinch he eventually let it settle between us untouched. If Lucien saw my pleasure or felt it he didn’t say.

“Can’t bear to be decent?” I said once he’d settled back from his intuitive desire. 

“I’ve never known you to want help with anything. Your ego would suffer.”

“How well you know me,” I said pressing my face up toward the sun. “Tell me what else have you picked up in your old age?” 

Lucien didn’t take the bait, “Rhys said you had to exercise.”

“Rhys is a busybody.”

“Well, he’ll soon be my High Lord.”

“And he’s already my brother,” I said, opening my eyes to meet his. We were once again at an impasse. A breeze hit the courtyard rustling the leaves and I felt it blow through my shirt with a slight chill. If it weren't for the sunlight I might have shivered. 

“Please,” Lucien said with great reluctance. Outside the city became him. It was clearer, not totally, but less obscure this idea of how to picture him in the city. I could see him moving along the Sydra, could even see him walking through the square. I tried to push him into places, the house of wind or Starfall, but those remained flimsy. For having seen him at so many parties, in so many dining rooms, those remained off-limits to me.

A spike of anxiety met me so I stood. 

We paced around the courtyard, lapping five times without another word. Neither of us looked at each other or even so much as accidentally brushed arms. When I began to lightly stretch, however, it became less simple. I tried to see the range of movement I had at first, twisting, reaching my hands, but it only took one over-estimation, one recoil, for Lucien at last to close the distance and grab my arm to steady me. 

He did not let up right away. It was no more a whisper of a touch, but he burned with embarrassment. I craned my neck, following the long expanse of his arm where heat radiated at his palm. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, waiting for a remark which never came. The pain subsided, though it was not emotional pain, he seemed to feel it nonetheless. 

Just as soon as it dampened and I could breathe again Lucien said, “don’t hurt yourself.”

“What's it matter to you?”

He dropped me from his grip and stepped away. “Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“Well aren’t you two getting cozy.” Cassian’s voice rang through the sunny space from his spying from the doorway. I moved too quick and winced again, but Lucien barely flinched—barely, but I saw. I corrected my posture but we’d already been caught, and regardless of guilt, how it looked left the Illyrian amused. 

“Not every male is as repellent to females as you,” I said. 

Cassian crossed the small distance and threw an arm around me, looking toward Lucien with a grin I knew well, the kind he liked to use before he demolished any sense of peace. 

“Has she told you she’s scared away every suitor in Velaris?”

I shrugged his arm off feigning my annoyance because something in me warmed that he was treating this situation as equally prosperous. A moment in which, by teasing me, I suspected he was attempting as he promised to welcome Lucien. He carved real space, smiled real smiles, in the direction of my mate. 

Lucien let his attention drift over to me just barely. “What don’t they like? Her stubborn attitude or her perpetual scowl?”

Admiration came down the bond. It shocked me, enough that I had no reply. Why it hadn’t occurred to me that he would do well here evaded me. I’d always thought if we’d been tolerable I’d have to leave this city, but now the other possibility seemed far more likely. He had the natural wit for it, to win them all over, even perhaps me. They didn’t need him in Autumn, didn’t want him. Here I just had to be sure they let him tease without shattering him.

“You know,” I said composing myself as Cassian bit back his laughter. “You should ask yourself why you let yourself believe that lie. Last I checked, this shirt doesn’t have holes for wings.” Cassian’s eyes drifted to my shoulder blades in confirmation. “Maybe I’m not as scary as you think. Or better, maybe you aren’t as scary as you think. You Rhys, and Azriel were all here when that male left without it.”

Cassian took it with good humor and a part of me thought, even anticipated, jealousy to dig itself out from my ribs. That's how it was supposed to be, primal and intrusive, annoying and vengeful, but not a ripple or a whisper moved within me. Instead, Lucien was smiling, more than he had been before. If I didn’t feel what he felt I might have mistaken the look for pride. 

Cassian switched the subject just as fast. “Lucien, I’ve learned you’ll be part of the Night Court now. Tell me, have you heard yet of a place called Rita’s?”

The following two days fell into routine. Lucien would find me after breakfast and we’d spend an hour in the garden, pacing and stretching. What he did after that remained a mystery. I didn’t ask and Lucien didn’t tell. Nor did he reveal his commitment or thought to the words we’d exchanged when we’d arrived. Instead, we became more like our old selves than ever, at each other's necks about everything.

“You got the okay this morning I hear.”

“Yes. Stitches come out next week.”

Lucien nodded then glanced toward my shirt. Yesterday the house was truly empty, and even then it was as if the whole structure was leaning in to listen, even the doors were at a slant.

“Back to your own clothes.”

“For a little. I like to visit the Illyrian village every so often.” He was less amused at that than when I’d joked the same with Cassian. A flicker of jealousy I hadn’t intended to unearth pulled between us, like it were meant to physically push us together. Had his words meant this, that our arrangement made those years ago would be what changed? My mouth curved up, turning away but letting him see me smile just enough to feel the intensity heighten within. At least I had some sense of control over him, this mating bond wasn’t utterly useless. I added, just to see, “If you wanted me to keep to myself you should have said so.”

“You think too highly of yourself. I’d take you to the Illyrians you love so much myself if it meant I could be rid of you.”

His door slammed with such force the whole house righted. It took all afternoon for the tightness in my chest to lessen. If he’d even show up today to take me to the garden I wasn’t sure. 

Azriel was the only one downstairs when I came to eat. He’d been busy after my conversation with Rhys, looking for information on Autumn Court. He didn’t report much to me, if anything. And he didn’t mention if his work led him to ask anything of Lucien. He was always good at that, breaking the illusion, ending the joke, that I was liked in consequence, that I was a byproduct of duty. Though he was a friend of Rhysands, he was my friend too and when we spoke he almost always picked our friendship first. 

“I can only assume everyone is handling our new guest with the utmost tact.”

“Cassian especially.”

“Has he told the story about the winter you spent at the cabin?”

“No, because he knows I have a story about him from the last summer solstice.”  

 “Care to share?” Azriel smiled 

“When the time is right.”

He laughed and stood from the table. I could see from the windows the wind pushing its way through the trees with equal mix of splendor and violence. Autumn was arriving swiftly over the mountains. It seemed almost a disservice, really, to keep Lucien from the city. This was my favorite season, long before I met him. A trick of the Cauldron, a premonition I couldn’t shake. It pained me to miss it now. Did he feel the same?

“Where’s your brother?”

“House of wind. He’s bringing something up for dinner tonight. Amren probably requested her usual.”

The Shadow Singer nodded and made his way to the door. I followed behind him to look for the wraiths who I kept finding spying on Lucien. They were quite taken with him apparently. When I felt the sting of jealousy I fought the urge to shield. He hadn’t so I wouldn’t. There was no prize now for caring the least. We had power together and over each other. What one could do the other was just as capable. 

Since last seeing him I’d scarcely even felt him down the bond. I half expected to discover he was shielding himself, but every so often curiosity or amusement sometimes even endearment would give way to fear in my chest. I didn’t want to intrude upon his adjustment, but I’d stop what it was I was doing when that happened and try to think of what he could be doing to cause such a thing. I’d try to hear him in the house. It pleased me to find so little despair, to think of him wanting to know this place more fully.

The two quiet females were talking amongst themselves in the kitchen. I informed them that the dinner we were going to be having was formal and asked if they’d help prepare. They agreed, before delivering a message with amused glances back and forth.

“Lucien said he’d meet you in the garden.” 

I would have stared longer but he felt me there, in the doorway. Not the least maybe, for the strain with which seeing him look out at Velaris from the roof had managed to put on me. The autumnal colors behind him, along the hills in peak, brightened his face. The scene was becoming of him in the late morning light, he looked handsome, more handsome than before. 

I wanted to go back. That’s what I hated, what hurt. I wanted to go back to the night we’d arrived when I was brave, when I said the things and did the things I’d never have done. 

Worst of all, I wanted it even after he turned, and delivered without care, “took you long enough.” 

I began to pace without him, ducking behind a row of bushes that had opened a few weeks ago. The blooms scattered mostly at my feet now I stepped through them. Lucien had taken the single order of Rhysand’s to be law, take me to the garden. So he would. 

He fell in step with me once I made to pass him. The wind had changed, no longer a relief across the skin it arrived with hints of chill and, if it went on long enough, left a shiver in its wake. I wasn’t dressed properly, my shirt billowing open I crossed my arms to try and retain whatever heat I had which wasn’t much.  

“Do you always write in your books?” 

He wasn’t hostile, not even a little, despite what he’d first said. That wasn’t surprising anymore, how quickly the air between two people changed, mostly I was surprised by the fact that he knew my handwriting well enough to ask after it.

“Yes.”

He hummed, but we weren’t far enough from ourselves for him to reveal why he wanted to know. Morr had said he’d spent time in the library, he must have happened upon one book with ink in its margins. 

“What are you reading?” I asked.

“Folktales of Velaris.”

The last time I’d read that I hadn’t yet met him, let alone been mated. I must have been just barely 30, young. It’s hard to imagine what could be permanently inked into that book, I’d known so little then, next to nothing. Another cool breeze helped soothe the heat blooming on my face. We returned to silence, walking the garden twice before Lucien found cause to break it again.

“You like to read?”

“Yes. As do you?”

“Yes.”

Stilted conversation for someone I knew was capable of finding the precise words to be entertaining and an annoyance. I hadn’t even had to ask if he liked reading, going to the library seemed confirmation enough. Why he was asking, what it offered him, wasn’t clear. 

“Not everything has ulterior motive.”

I must have turned too fast. The question of how he’d known what I was thinking, which had been forming in my mouth, was overpowered by the sharp inhale. The autumn air pushed it back down to a point of insignificance, to the place where it no longer mattered. The startle of the pain brought with it shadows forming around us. Magic, all mine. 

Deep in my side a wave of burning pressed forward until it overwhelmed the place just below the skin. I couldn’t release it, couldn’t let the flame out, or turn into the shade and hope the darkness would smother it.

I bent forward. When my hand met the pain, another was already there. Not my own, warmer, larger. It was pulling me in, forcing me up.

“Stand up.” Lucien said and though his body held the heat of autumn under the skin his voice was cold with a familiar demand. If the pain had been less intense I’d never have listened. The tone alone was enough to give cause for a fight, but I elongated my spine, half by the force with which he pulled me into him and half with trusted intention to do as he said. My frame curved into his easily, taking his shape, like wax to flame. 

“You have to stretch,” Lucien said his mouth tucked so close to my ear his words passed through my hair and slid over the skin. His hand that I’d rested atop moved leaving my own behind, moving up my side. He applied pressure at my ribs. No cotton between his fingers and me, just skin, just his hand under my shirt. With each place he touched the pain diminished in size like he was moving it back toward the point of impact. His voice was disconnected from him, it told me to take a deep breath and I don’t know if I listened. Not at least on purpose, when I felt the air pass into my lungs. The burning vanished. 

I kept breathing, pressing our chests closer together then pulling them back apart. The pain seemed to linger nearby, like the moment we let go and moved it would come back. I was sure it would, and my fingers dug themselves deeper into Lucien’s clothes. I hadn’t even opened my eyes, couldn’t allow my consciousness to drift to the entirety of our position, all my focus was taken and I didn’t want to know how it felt to be this close. I wanted really for him to drop me before I could.

“Good girl,” he said.

I shoved out of his arms. 

He was already laughing before I could move away. The mixture of my embarrassment and his satisfaction doubled when he’d seen the blush that had formed on my face. He leaned against the railing, smiling smugly. 

All I managed to get out was, “pig.” 

“I don’t know if you’ve ever done as I said, thought it warranted a little praise,” He mused on the moments of the past, squinting his eyes like the memories we shared would appear before him and confirm his suspicions. “And I had a feeling you weren’t ever going to let go without encouragement.”

“You should’ve said something.”

“I did.”

I wasn’t used to this version of him, this idea. This was not our game, our routine. He’d called me a thousand things and good had never accompanied any of them. He’d shattered everything, all that normalcy we’d found in coming up here, in being our worst selves. 

“So this is your famous charm. I’m unimpressed.” I said finally.

He laughed, his usual arrogant laugh and I wanted to latch to it. If I could I’d have thrown it over the moment like a sheet. “Lucky for me I’ve never desired your good opinion.” Yes, back to the familiar. He would not make desire from our old lives, I wouldn’t let him. He added, “from what I remember you’ve bestowed it rather foolishly in the past.”

I scoffed, “And you’re any better? How's Tamlin?”

His gaze was more piercing than it used to be. I shifted under it, squirming, with the sensation that he understood me even better now than he used to, and even before he was impressive. There was rarely ever a time when he didn’t know which male I would go after at an engagement, what kind of mood I was in, and why.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he said, his voice taking on that mean taunting tone he had when he wanted to get a rise at me, when he knew he’d held the right words in his mind. “How long did it take for you to break our deal? I can’t be too bad a claim if you saw fit to tell everyone we were mates.”

“25 years and I was drunk.”

He hummed, nodding along. He was enjoying himself. The circumstances didn’t matter and they never did. I could be crying and he’d still laugh, in fact, once in Winter Court he had. His gaze dipped down and then up once, the joy he’d gotten seemed to lessen with my admission. 

“Ilyrians are known to stomach unpleasantness, it's good you’ve found them.” He said pushing off the wall and standing just before me. Indifference settled into displeasure readily on him. I preferred this to everything, with such moods I could wound him like nothing. He thought he was shielding himself but I could read him just as easily if he was telling me his every thought down the bond.

“Is that all that matters to you Autumn males? That your partner is pleasant to look at?”

“I never said you weren’t pleasant to look at.”

Lucien said it like it were nothing. He even smiled like the displeasure never happened. He watched his words land and even I could admit that he had played the hand between us well. For him to admit something like that, then, now. I was envious. He’d gotten the upper hand and he’d never relinquished it, even when I thought we’d leveled out. He’d won and he knew, taking for himself one single prize, letting his eyes fall to my lips. 

I went to speak, but if there hadn’t been words before there was little chance of them appearing now. While he had never called me good, he’d also never given any suggestion that I was attractive. He avoided my appearance altogether with clear and cutting attacks.  I was always wretched, lousy, irritating, unskilled, or some other pinpointed insult that he had, for 50 years, wielded against me. Never though, ever, had he alluded to my appearance. 

“Your personality however could use some work,” He finished. 

Words returned and stumbled out of my mouth, but even with the force of snapping between us they didn’t have the desired effect. “Feel free to waste your miserable life out of my company.”

He bowed in mockery, pointing toward the door, “There's the exit.” 

I was already leaving. I passed Morr at the top of the stairs. She was walking with Azriel. Neither said anything, but they were, the pair of them, sharing twin smiles.

***

When I caught myself in the mirror I was embarrassed by my own lifelessness. Though death, in the end, had lost it still seemed to take with it souvenirs I imagined would be returned to me at a later date—some youth I had lost and could never get back. My skin seemed to drag down my face like its being there was a reluctant favor. My coloring had gone sallow, everything was limp. Even my hair seemed tired falling with great weight. I needed a proper rinse rather than the half bathing I had been allowed the week before.

I dipped below the water and closed my eyes, willing myself to feel the warmth of the tub within. I could think of no other remedy to bring it back, life reached toward warmth. It seemed to work, the longer I sat there the more real I began to feel, emptying the room-temperature water every so often and replacing it with something more scathing. 

Regardless, however, of my intention to return to myself the recurring thoughts always seemed to cycle through me with glaring direction toward Lucien. He’d bothered me before, but there was something infinitely worse about this version which seemed to be talking with a subtext I myself was unaware of or could not read the same as I had. We were different now, I’d have to learn all over again what I’d once instinctively understood. 

We used to be so good at it, understanding what the other meant, circling each other like wolves. It had been fun to do it, to wield something fatal like words and to know just the same that they’d never kill, they were actually anticipating the attack all along. For what it was worth I liked seeing him at a table, liked that it meant someone was there who could be counted on for a challenge. He’d look at me and I’d know precisely what each nod of his head meant, each gesture. We’d laugh all the while anger without violence, joy for the sake of pain. I loved hating him and I loved that he hated me, but looking back the fun of it seems to diminish in quality, vanishing almost entirely the further I looked to the past. 

All these years he found me pleasant to look at while I found him handsome and yet neither of us had ever said so. We were, perhaps, more transparent than we thought. We’d said more by omission than any other verbal demolition. Now even words were obscured by their meaning, by the direction his eyes faced when he said them. I knew nothing. Where was that universe we’d been to, where it had been seamless, easy even to slip into our sincerity? How do I get back? I didn’t want to be brave and yet with each day he didn’t return to me, I realized I would have to be. 

The wraiths combed out my hair, it was too painful to twist and reach back still. They did so with great care talking and laughing of the recent events and with each venture into the business of my mate I narrowly avoided them. I closed my eyes and dreamed of their gentleness when it had come from other people and other places. I returned endlessly to the night in that very room. When the brush got too close to my temple I recalled, against my will, the feeling of his fingers brushing the hair from my face. I rested my forehead against my knees. The two females grew quiet, talking only with each other eventually, one stringing in long thin strands of gold with ornate stars. It matched the dress. I looked like the night sky. 

Rhys had come halfway through to check when I’d be done, noting, that I was holding everyone up. When I got downstairs no one was there but him, smiling, in a suit that matched me. He had wine waiting. 

“Which is it, are you abandoning me or forcing me to spend time with you?” 

“I abandon you when it’s warranted.” 

“It was you who said you’d stay out of my business,” I said sipping the wine. Rhys’ agenda remained veiled. I don’t know what he got out of any of it, but regardless it was of little benefit.

“I said, I’d let you deal with your affairs. How am I to do that if you won’t even be in the same room as each other?”

I opened my mouth to reply but to do so incriminated me. Either we’d been together and he didn’t know about it which he’d tease me on or I’d admit he was right and therefore he had indeed needed to force us together. Worse, I’d have to pretend it didn’t bother me, that Lucien was always missing. Regardless he relieved me of having to do either. 

“How is it going with your mate.” 

“He’s even more charming up close.”

Rhys snorted. “You should have seen the glee Morr had in reporting to me of your fight in the garden.”

“No one shows any allegiance to my cause.”

“And what precisely is your cause, moping in your room? Not quite as captivating as mine.”

“And yours would be?” 

Rhys smiled and took a sip of his wine, shrugging like it were as equally unknown to him as it was me. I don’t know why I’d believed him in his office. It shouldn’t be of much shock that his letting me deal with this involved his own agenda. I could only imagine the entertainment he got in trying to parse out what was true, what he believed me to feel, or what all these years I’d told him. It didn’t matter that the time before was different and disconnected from the time now, so long as eventually what he said came true he’d feel he’d won.  

“I’m figuring it out, no thanks to you.” 

“All thanks to me. What do you think we’re all dressed up for?” 

He was even more nosy and self-important than I imagined. Forcing us all into a dinner with fine clothes just so what exactly, Lucien would have to sit next to me at dinner? “And suddenly you’ve got a keen liking for him. Weren’t you the one scolding me three days ago?”

“I’ve seen more of him than you, so there’s an argument to be made for me at least. Plus you looked worse today than you did when you arrived a week ago, it’s not hard to do the math.” 

“You don’t know what I want.”

He raised a brow at me, and I’d known then I’d been giving myself away. When he came in to see me as I was getting dressed I bet it was plain as anything the quiet of the room, one look from the wraiths.

I dropped my illusions, rubbing at my forehead. “Well, I wouldn’t even know if your guess was right, so stay out of it. You’re not helping me figure it out.”

“That would ruin our fun.” I glared at him, knowing he meant the court myself excluded, but he continued “I’ve placed a few bets and I’m interested to see if I’m right, especially tonight.”

“What bets?” 

Rhys moved toward the living room and spoke so even I could barely hear him. “Don’t let him get away with his behavior because he bats his eyes at you.”

“I can’t stand you.” 

“Good luck.” 

I went to get the last word in but when I turned, Lucien had been making his way into the foyer. Rhys ducked into the sitting room and as soon as he moved out of my sight the walls seemed to turn inward toward us.

He was still in borrowed clothes, but he was there. The hearth of the adjacent room was our only cover from curious ears. The logs shifted and cracked under the heat. It covered everything with a film of half-silence. Even his breathing, if he were, was masked by it. We were in nearly identical positions as we’d been just a few days previous, but instead of the tension pulling between us something light entered the room. I thought I heard a sigh of relief. 

“You look well,” He said stepping forward.

“I feel well,” the words left me with unintended softness, like the moment required it and on instinct, I played along. He pointed to the bottle of wine at the table and made it the rest of the way across the room.

“Is this for everyone?”

“Yes,” I extended him my glass, and in the light, I saw the imprint of my lips. I was so used to it, letting Morr or anyone finish what I could not commit to. He saw it too and as I went to pull back his hand fast, gentle, enclosed my wrist and took it from me.

“Thank you,” he said with the sincerity you have to whisper, and staring at the rim brought the mark of my lips to his own. Through the glass I watched them touch. They became indistinguishable from one another, where I had been and where he now was. A heat, not of embarrassment but some other kind I couldn’t name rose from the ground up, clouding my head. I watched it all. Even when he pulled away I kept my eyes where his lips had only just been. 

“Did you want a glass?” 

I nodded even though I didn’t. I had no words to explain something even as simple as the lack of a craving. He poured it anyway. The relief of the cool glass made it worth it and when I shifted so followed suit of everything else. You wouldn’t have even noticed that the world was off kilter had you not seen what I did, a kiss that hadn’t really happened. 

“I’ve never seen you in Night Court colors.”

“Females must honor, by dress, the court they’re visiting unless they’re married.” He’d not been to the Hewn City, not at least while I was there. He wouldn’t have realized it either, even with our years between us, it wouldn’t have mattered before. We were too busy with our disgust.

“I find it convenient,” I said sipping from my glass, “that you’re suddenly remembering your manners now that I’m pretty again.”

“You’re too smart to believe something so stupid as that.”

“What should I believe?”

He looked out the window, holding the glass up to his mouth but not drinking, not yet. “Whatever you wish as long as it’s not that.” Then he pressed his mouth to the same place he’d done before, and met my eye. A playful thread wrapped around his features and tugged. Even as he sippied I watched the indent at his mouth sharpen. Now that I'd admitted he was handsome it was as if no other word existed half the time for anything. Everything fell under its terms and yet nothing quite so specifically captured its beauty. Not at least, besides Lucien.

“You told me I couldn’t brood and you spent the greater part of the afternoon stewing. Care to share?”

Outside there was still no sign of the rest of our court. Rhys, if he was alone in that sitting room, had nothing to distract him from our conversation. Even had I wanted to admit to Lucien that I’d spent the greater part of the afternoon sitting in the bath thinking of him I couldn’t with my brother so close. 

“Not in the slightest.”

He hummed, “you think I won’t work it out?”

“I think you’re busy. You don’t need to waste time with my feelings when you have your own. And I wouldn’t even be able to tell you because I don’t remember every fleeting emotion and its cause.” 

“I do. There was some curiosity, a little regret, followed by periodic and yet endless somberness,” Lucien said groaning as if the feeling was truly endless and the weight of it had been unbearable even just in memory. 

“Next time it happens you could come and ask me.”

“Yes, next time then. I was busy today, spending my miserable life away from you.”

My small amusement could have been concealed but a breath of it caught the wine in my glass and some splashed onto my face so I was forced to wipe it away. Lucien said nothing. The bond warmed. 

 “And you?” I said finally when no taunt came. “Are you well?”

Despite how strained my chest became with my own desperation I hoped no matter how it struck, how much I wanted him to be enjoying Velaris, Lucien would still answer honestly. If he were to lie just to spare me I don’t know if I could forgive him. 

“Yes, in part.”

“Which part?” 

“The part that’s glad to see you at home and safe.”

“And the other, the one that’s not well?”

“The same as you, the piece that remains unwell.” 

Lucien’s gaze dropped to my side and beneath the skin, the cut ached like it knew he was looking. The part of him that lived within me strained with echoing ache, they recognized each other. The cut and the tether, like calling to like. I wanted to touch the pieces of him I found beneath my skin and soothe them, even if it were useless work. He’d be unwell until I wasn’t.

“If you can manage to fit it between your moments of somber,” he continued, “I was hoping you might show me Velaris.” 

“You’ve not gone and seen the city yet?” 

“No.” He said shifting on his feet a little, his eyes staring down into his glass without taking a sip. “It's yours. You should be the one to show me.”

Down the bond, something relaxed, serene, and it almost convinced me to join in on the feelings. He’d said this with a sense that there was nothing strange about it, while it seemed to me the opposite. He waited for me. He had never once waited for me. 

I wiped the sweat from my palms on my dress.“I’ll think of some places.”

“When you do, try to remember right now and not this afternoon in the garden.” 

“Why, you think I’ll take you somewhere seedy?” 

“No, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve got a gang of Illyrians in your honor waiting around some corner for me.” 

I let out a laugh. It burst from me and I made to cover my mouth. He watched me, something brightening on his face. I don’t know if I had ever done such a thing with him, or even around him—laughed like this. The real true laughter I had at home was reserved for private moments, so as to be polite for all the rest. I shook my head, attempting to stifle it, to recover. “None care for me so much.” 

Then he did something he does often, which was easy to miss if you didn’t know it. He looked at me. Not the kind of the past, eyes narrowed, waiting to strike, but a different one I’d seen him use before. Even as I hated him I’d know the first time I saw his face take on the look of intention, that he was seeing me truly and entirely. The first time it happened was the night before the bond snapped. We’d been standing in the hall, outside our rooms. 

“Your good blood is wasted,” he said the sky just barely dark enough to sleep. I could see the way the words showed up on his face, how he’d meant it. He laughed, “I don’t know anyone who’d have you.”

“Plenty of things exist regardless of your not knowing them.”

The blankets behind me rustled with movement and the Cauldron laughed. He glanced behind me but said nothing. He could surprise me even then. Instead, he looked at me as he was in the foyer, with something so intent on seeing the whole I was sure he really was. I let him. I waited for the moment where shame, fear, or even violation crept through the world where I was standing in my pajamas with so little grace. The longer I waited the less sure I was it would arrive. 

Even without the bond, I knew his curiosity as if it were in me too. 

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Lucien,” I said without thinking too long on the words or the fact we’d never said them, they were too polite and well intended. I closed the door and watched the blankets rise and fall where Kallias lay in a beam of light that wasn’t even half night, maybe only a quarter. 

The next day, despite the cold civility of our endings we’d returned twice as short with one another. But I couldn’t forget what had happened and never did. How could you? That something like that exists and you can tell the difference. When someone is looking with the acknowledgment of your person as unique rather than what they had categorized you out to be. Whatever he discovered that night I didn’t know, but something new had taken shape in his mind and replaced what had been there before. I understood after that some looks existed as witness, and the rest as nothing at all. 

He’d done this so much over the years that I let out a sigh of relief, to at last understand him again, if only in the smallest way. Now instead of walking away between us, something tightened. I gestured toward the sitting room to divert us, suddenly overwhelmed at the idea he’d say what he saw, what he thought, but Lucien too had extended his hand.

Our glasses hit. The lip of them clinked together while my knuckles roughly scraped along his. I knew where we’d collided, where one move ended and mine began from the short warmth I got in our touch. I might not have known what had happened were it not for that small difference between us. 

Despite our collective efforts to right our drinks, they fumbled in our fingers. Two heaps of wine lay between us, splattered on the ground. Lucien was already walking down the hall toward the kitchen before I could speak, apologizing repeatedly. His empty glass abandoned on the table. 

“It's nothing,” I said following behind him. 

Behind us, Cassian, Morr, and Azriel entered with precise timing. Someone let out a low whistle and Morr yelled for no one in particular asking what had happened. They were gone though, in another room and it might as well have been another life. Lucien asked where the rags were and I existed for a single moment in his question and his alone. It was an ordinary accident, to do what we did, but it was rare too that the graces of immortality failed twice. I wanted all my attention on the mundanity of him and me cleaning. I found I could not actually pull my focus away. Where he had been leading, he waited and turned back before I replaced him. We pulled two clean rags from their place, and made down the hall, my shoulder fell with each step into the soft fabric at his arm.

“Sorry,” Lucien said, rolling up his sleeves and looking toward the sitting room. I could feel the foreign embarrassment in my chest, “sorry.”

“I do it all the time.”

I knelt and began to sop up the spill. Despite my attention, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him directly, to see him in the way one is when they’re at home, undone. I’d want it too much I knew, I’d try for a hundred more messes just to see him roll his sleeves up. I couldn’t let myself hunger anymore. I already wanted that which came with notes of despairity. Instead, as I wiped in circles on the floor I let his body periodically move into my field of vision as he cleaned the other half. The shirt tucked in on itself, exposed his forearm. You didn’t get to do this anywhere else, not really, you didn’t get to be at home. I should know this arm, this person it was attached to, I’d seen it plenty before but all the while his embarrassment was foreign, and so too his movements were unpredictable and routine. 

“I should have known to avoid the area, you talk with your hands,” he said once the floor was clear and we were back on our feet. He was smiling ever so slightly when he said it, fixing his shirt back into proper place. I couldn’t bring myself to mirror the move, to right what the minor chaos had undone. 

“It’s funny,” I said instead while his body slipped back into itself. “I used to be able to tell what you were thinking. I thought the bond, exposing it, would make everything easier, but I think I know less than I did before. I can never figure out what you mean, never know how anything will end.”

I finally allowed myself to look at him truly as the cuff of his sleeve at last dropped to cover his wrist. I felt him, his staring at me with the slightest wrinkle in his brow and also the reason for that single imperfection being there. Again, unexpected, sorrow deep-rooted but new climbed beneath my skin like a vine. He opened his mouth and I hoped it would tear the growing thing but we were interrupted again.

“Shall we?” Cassian said appearing from nothing. It was no struggle to look away, I wasn’t brave enough to face the consequences of myself. I wanted the sadness to end there in that moment, I wanted not to know that look of small unintentional demolition. 

“You’re flying with Cassian. Unfortunately Lucien is with me” Rhys said avoiding the male’s eyes. 

“Flying?” Lucien asked.

I tapped my shoulder, letting my mask fall into place on the amusement of his impending discomfort, “half Illyrian.”

“I’d take you if I could,” Morr said. “But you can’t winnow in. You could take the stairs but I suspect Amren will be waiting and she’s better with a group.” 

Lucien seemed barely to follow the thread on new information, stuck on the fact we’d be flying and that Rhys apparently was taking him. That even a High Lord couldn’t winnow himself into a place in his own court must have been strange when Beron had wielded absolute power however he could.

Standing in the streets of Velaris and hearing the current of the Sydra had the same effect as sitting in the warm bath water. There was a returning power within me. I was stronger, could feel that good humor circling around my mind as it settled in waiting to be used again. I walked more surely, following behind Cassian who looked out at the water. Just hearing it, the sounds of the city and its people enjoying their evening or the river pressing onward in its pursuit was of some comfort. I knew the world wasn’t waiting for my return and I liked it that way, that these things could be counted on regardless of the universe we found outside the door. 

The warrior turned, his frame blocked out the lights across the river. I’m sure on a battlefield, in the village, such a display might startle those who knew him only barely. He’d never intimidated me. As if he knew I’d been thinking this, he leaned down so we were eye level. 

“I won’t be easy on you.”

“You’re all talk.” 

He smiled conspiratorially. From behind I knew Rhys was watching, listening. The new sense of strength made me eager, I slid into his mind, testing for any pain, and found only a slight cramping. It was enough that I managed at least to say, it’s been a while since we’ve given them a real show. 

Cassian smiled, I’ve been thinking precisely the same. 

Before he could pull me into his arms I looked back at Lucien who was watching uneasily. 

“You’ve delivered me to the Illyrians just as you promised.”

In quick procession, I was pulled into Cassian’s arms, who held me with all the care in the world. I latched onto him before looking toward our court. Rhys began to move toward us, hand outstretched in objection.   

“Don’t—“ 

But we were airborne before the command could be heard enough to qualify as disobedience. The wind pushed through my hair and I laughed, really laughed. Now I remembered how. The lights of the houses fell like stars behind us. I twisted with little resistance, he was fast, we were already far too high. The Sydra appeared like a murky ink spill down a map. 

“Ready?” Cassian yelled over the wind. 

I held tighter in confirmation and just like that we were plummeting back toward the cobbled world. Cassian let out a loud cry, as if announcing us and our amusement. I echoed with my own. The joy seemed to pierce the night in half, making light with it. From the ground, our court managed to make themselves heard like our happiness was contagious even at a distance. With the water closing in we pulled up just in time for me to dangle one hand along the surface and skim the river with my finger. I could just tell how cold it was, not touching it enough to withdraw, but was in its proximity. We lifted again and they watched us loop, climb, fall, and twist.

 It was only when we got close enough Rhys yelled, “Get to the house of wind before I sic Amren on you.” A very real warning, and Cassian knew as much. He danced past the court once more before climbing up the altitude and slowing his pace. 

“They can’t handle that we’re more fun than them.”

“We have a shared aptitude for chaos,” Cassian agreed.

Buildings passed beneath us and a sense of peace swathed in. I surrendered myself to it. I was never sure how long those moments would last. I closed my eyes, and imagined Lucien now on his way to the house of wind, standing on the balcony in the Autumn air. Unlike him, his being here required his introduction to my real life, the true one which was hidden for many years. His home, the intimacy of his day-to-day life remained back in a court with which I would likely never again return to. 

And he was here, making his way to the house we’d had all those dinners in, seeing the streets of a city that reverberated with decades of my joy. I bet you could still hear it there, eroding the stones. I was made here. That itself was an intimacy and he was not so foolish as to miss it. I was exposed by default. The bond between him and I was a tether, but it wouldn’t surprise me if on his end it felt like water, if it felt like the Sydra.

“Thank you, for what you did the other night,” Cassian said. He, more than anyone, managed to find the words to say what had not been said. He had suddenly that look of contemplation that made him more serious than he normally was. It always followed a sense of care or duty on his part. Whatever his reason, his need to speak had yet to reveal itself. “Rhys told me what you said, about the new world. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about him, but I’m glad you forced our hand a bit. I don’t think any of that was easy.”

He didn’t have to elaborate, or say who he meant. I knew now. “Not as hard as you think. Not at least when you know the people you’re talking to.”

“That night was a disaster waiting to happen,” he shook his head. “You were being brave whether or not you will say and I wanted you to know. Plus I’m not averse to admitting when I’m wrong. Your mate is already proving to be very entertaining.” 

The small discomfort of those rare moments of total sincerity slipped away and we both let it. I was grateful for all of it even when at times the vulnerability made me itch beneath my skin. I had no reply but luckily he dropped the subject, adding only one last thought. 

“I know Rhys and Morr have cornered you but if you ever want to talk about what happened.”

“There are no words. Not yet anyway.”

Whatever qualms I had with my court, their allegiance to Rhys vs. their friendship with me, there was something irreplaceable in the world we shared between each other. No two were identical, and they arrived when I needed them. Cassian had a rare ability, I think given where he came from, to listen to someone talk without imposing his own worldview on the subject. In the right moods, he was always there without judgment, open to what I thought. To him, I was an equal, and he took me and my ideas very seriously. I would always love him for that. 

The balcony to the house of wind came into view. I could see the court there waiting. We apparently took the scenic route. I turned to him and smiled, “Rhys is gonna eat us alive.” 

As soon as we were in earshot I could hear the beginning of his reprimand. We landed softly and Cassian placed me in front of the frustrated High Lord. 

“What if you’d split your stitches? That’s dangerous even when you’re not injured.”

I passed by him and patted his shoulder. “Noted.”

I could hear his teeth grinding. “Keep it up and Madja will be removing those stitches at a 6 am training session.” 

I sneered if only to make him feel the threat was legitimate, but I doubted his making good on those comments. I walked straight to Lucien whom Morr had taken into conversation. 

“Unlike your brother, we found the show very entertaining.”

“Cassian and I should consider alternative employment, a traveling band maybe,” I said looking over my shoulder toward the male who looked for all the world like his normal self again. His smile was easy, his eyes bright. 

A hand clamped down on my other side, however, and Azriel’s voice drew everyone’s attention.“You’d need to be employed for there to be an alternative.”

I let them have it, their laugh, if only because Lucien laughed too. It was without malice and I could handle the same tired jokes for that sake. 

Any comment I had ready slipped away from importance but I said, only to keep up appearances, “I like you better gone.”

The others took their joy indoors. Flying had actually hurt my side and I let them go ahead to avoid Rhys catching me limping. I wouldn’t be fast enough to evade one of his lectures. I found the railing of the balcony and looked out over the city as their voices faded, tucked beneath a gust of wind then gone altogether. 

“Is it like this all the time where you’re from?”

I knew he was there. He’d gotten in the habit of waiting for me now twice. Whenever the Cauldron decided to pull that thread between two hearts, from that point on, I suspect, I began to know the difference from the air alone of what rooms he was and wasn’t in. 

The windows below dimmed and grew in brightness. It was the city’s pulse, it told me this place was living. I was always acutely aware of the lights, what it meant that another person was there in those houses, those rooms. At times it overwhelmed me, that within a few hundred windows lived people who, like me, had their own worries, duties, their own hearts. They were at the mercy of the same Cauldron, they wanted things and didn’t get them, and tried to understand that which could never be understood. 

Lucien pressed his hands into the cool stone railing and watched just as I watched. 

“Sometimes,” he said. I wanted to go into his memories. I could see how his mind went further than I could see or know. “The best time of year is really at the end of summer or just before. I like to sleep with the windows open then, wake to the cold.”

“Do you?”

He nodded, “I like the cold.”

“It's too bad this isn’t Winter Court.”

He huffed a laugh, “not that kind and not too much. By midday, the wind might be cool but the sunlight is warm, that's really it. I like a cold I can chase away.”

A breeze came up over the edge and I folded into myself, trying to preserve what little heat was left from flying with Cassian. Lucien turned and I followed. Any longer alone and I wasn’t sure we’d manage to make it out of dinner without being at the end of every joke.

“Do you have wings?”

I shook my head. “No. I spent plenty of time in the air though.”

“I could’ve guessed.” 

He smiled at me then. The kind of smile you give someone when you’ve first met them and it's selfish really, but all you want is for them to find you funny or charming, or anything good. We were in that place, the other place that felt like another world. We’d found our way back to something and I wanted to keep it very carefully in my hands, but I wasn’t sure of its dimensions. I was only sure I would crush it.

We passed into the house and it warmed me to my bones. I waited for the threshold to bring with it the real world waiting, but the one we’d found remained firmly in place. I couldn’t explain it, how I knew, I just understood it the way I had used to understand him. I knew the rules without having to be told, that what happened here happened only here. So I could be brave.

“You haven’t come to see me. I thought you would, after we spoke.”

He stopped at the top of the stairs and waited but didn’t put his arm out. “I told you, I’m at your disposal.”

“You told that to Rhys.”

“I was talking to you.”

I wiped my palms again, then grabbed for the railing. We moved slowly for the pain but Lucien didn’t act as if we were doing anything out of the ordinary. You’d have thought he lived with leisure, that we’d always taken our time with each other. 

“Is it not enough for you then, to know I’ve been waiting?” 

“You haven’t asked for me.”

A cool draft reached my back, brushing around my ankle. I shivered, and within the same instant my ankle gave way and I stumbled on it down the next stair. Lucien was already there, arms open like he knew it was going to happen. We said nothing, not as I waited a moment in the warmth that seeped through his clothes, or when we began walking again, his arm a ghost around my waist for support. 

“It's not so simple.”

“What’s it like then?” 

We reached a small landing. I could hear the smattering of laughter spilling out from the dining room down the hall. Over his shoulder I spied the ornate walls, the decoration of the house. It was reminiscent, in the slightest of ways, of the Autumn house. Something over the top, something old about it. Though it was darker than night court there. Colder too. Did he have something like Velaris? Some place he could be himself?

“You don’t feel it?” I said, the way we went in and out of these places where we could and couldn’t be as we’d been. One room we’re on each other just as we always used to be and then we take the stairs and suddenly an arm is tucked beneath you in favor, from someone who’d sooner laughed if you’d admitted you were in pain. 

“Feel what?”

The universe began to recede on that point and I no longer had the courage. I thought we came here together but it wasn’t true, I was alone. Lucien stepped with me. We moved in silence. I know he felt my disappointment straining near his heart and pushing into it. I knew when he’d been overtaken by it, my own feelings grew twofold. 

At the bottom of the stairs, I forced down the feeling, and did the only thing I could think to recover the easiness and joy of the night. 

“Watch out for Amren, she bites,” I joked.

Lucien gave nothing away, his lips didn’t pull in any direction and his forehead was creaseless. His disappointment remained. When he set his eyes on me there was such an intensity I knew he wouldn’t let me get away with any of it. He never did. 

“I’ve been waiting for you too.”

Everyone was huddled together, wine in hand, already at ease. I went ahead of Lucien his disappointment in me unearthing the need to act as a shield. As we got in, however, I found only softness seemed to be waiting. Laughter, warmth, food at the table, and the turn of a few heads in our direction in greeting. You’d think we’d done it all before, a thousand times, you’d think Lucien had always been here. I felt my mate’s curiosity replace the heaviness and I let that relieve me just enough to get through dinner. There would be a time to answer his question, he’d be sure to ask again, but for now, we would eat. 

 It was Morr who acknowledged us first, and I knew from her words our absence was not totally unchecked.

“Finally.” 

There she was, the not-quiet fae. Her black hair, dark as night, turned to reveal her cutting face. Amren said nothing and approached with ease, preternatural elegance that even for a Fae looked somewhat too perfect, too serene. The fierceness, to me who knew her, managed though to soften on the edges like dawn.

“With all that blood you shed, girl, you’d have been better use coming to me.”

“And when all my blood made you sick you’d curse me in death too,” I said. Lucien stilled behind me, unsure of the danger, of what Amren was. “Still holding a grudge over the wine I spilled on you last Starfall?”

“I’m truly immortal. We do not forgive.” Her eyes darted toward Lucien who didn’t show any sort of reserve now, even as she grew more serious and the air around us shifted to accommodate her. “They said they asked for the lares.” 

At that word, we all went just as still as Amren. It was a pristine instant, broken only by the nod of my head in confirmation. Lucien, to his credit, took a step toward me, his presence unflinching, his protection instinctual. It didn’t matter that Amren had that aura to her, the kind that upon first meeting could unsettle you because there was something about her that you couldn’t place.

She turned her attention toward the male and looked up at him, “so, it was you who managed to get her back to Velaris?”

He was his usual self, indifference bordering on cold, “in part.”

“And how was that?”

I doubt Lucien wasn’t aware of how much his answer would offer. Everyone was waiting to hear what he’d say and though I said I wanted them to be nice, this would settle a dust he’d kicked up in his arrival here. He looked more fully toward me now and his brows rose. “She’s put me through worse.” 

Of all those who gathered, the last person I suspected would offer their good opinion was Amren. The small dangerous thing before me relaxed her mouth in the most mute way. She only smiled when it was her own doing, but tonight, I saw that slight uptick. If you’d asked me which was more likely, this or the world-shattering into pieces I’d have chosen the latter. 

“Why did you never mention your mate was handsome?”

I didn’t get the chance to think on the impossibility before she was talking to me again. I recovered the emissary of parties past. The usual dryness came back with that usual flat voice like it never left. 

“Because he isn’t.”

Rhys came up and clapped Lucien on the shoulder, the most I’d ever seen him do for any male I brought around, and said, “we, more than anyone, have the greatest sympathy for you.” Then he handed him a glass of wine. Lucien took a celebratory sip. He’d passed the test and Rhys was right, he fit right in.

“Is that why Cassian wished me luck?” Lucien asked. 

Morr looked between them, “luck with what?”

“He said I’d need it with her given she’s a bit of a—“

“Well I didn’t say that exactly.” Cassian interrupted.

Lucien probably recognized the look better than anyone, the face of someone unimpressed, even as he felt the entertainment I let simmer beneath the surface of my face. “Do explain then, what precisely you said.”

Though Cassian’s mouth opened and closed not one word came out. I bet I could guess what he’d said, she’s a bit of a handful. He’d know, before I’d perfected the art of sneaking males in and out, he’d found me tip toeing out the door or hiding in the cabin several times. Took years to recover any Illyrian's trust that we would not be caught together. Everyone looked on at him waiting to see how he’d dig his way out, but no remedy came to mind. The more he stuttered the further our mouths stretched with amusement. 

“Cassian can explain over dinner,” Rhysand said, sparing him. 

As the male walked up to me all smiles, arms outstretched for reconciliation, I sent my fist into his bicep. He acted like it hurt. Cassian led me away going on about how he’d only said it as a joke and because he wanted to welcome my mate. I wasn’t really interested, I was preoccupied with my brother's attention still remaining on Lucien. I couldn’t hear what Rhys said, but I could feel it. I couldn’t pretend not to notice that fullness warming between my ribs. The pair of them were smiling, they shared some sort of camaraderie. I could see it, even at a distance, he actually liked Lucien. 

Cassian pulled out my chair and I sat, the same spot I’d sat in a thousand times. I watched my brother who had the same face, the same gesture of talking as he would with any of us, but now it was directed at someone who, a week ago, he almost killed. 

I tried not to smile or eavesdrop as I let them share something, whatever it was that could develop in so short a time. Rhys had said there was a case to be made, his sudden regard. I didn’t need to know what had changed for him, not yet anyway. In that well of anxiety I had for Lucien, I felt another part empty. 

Different or the same, that was how the world functioned now. What was different and what was the same. Maybe everything had changed at the same time in the same way and therefore I couldn’t tell the difference. I could go the rest of my life uncovering what those little things are. No, these things are never so easy. 

The chair beside me moved and I turned expecting Morr, but as I looked I saw her on the other side of the table. In her place I found Lucien. He hesitated, looking around for somewhere else to sit but all the rest of the places had been taken, with Rhys falling into the chair at the head, smirking. 

He wouldn’t know, couldn’t, that all of this was out of the ordinary. We’d sat in the same spots for years. Rhys must have known I was about to reprimand him, regardless of using magic or not, because he shielded his mind and turned away from me to speak with Amren. I rubbed at my side. At the very least, however, my cousin seemed to take pity on him. I’m sure he’d have liked to be anywhere else after our conversation in the hall. 

“Have you been yet to walk along the Sydra?” 

He shook his head, sipped from his glass. I felt a tightness, almost sickly, of the casualness he had there in that spot. His every move was reminiscent of a routine he couldn’t have. He passed dishes, poured water, and spoke with Morr like an old friend we’d not seen in too long. He didn’t acknowledge me or my watching, but he rubbed at his chest where the bond must be. I forced myself to relax, to turn and speak with Azriel on my other side. 

“The moment I’m healed I think we need to go out.” 

“Is that so?” He feigned the air of not wanting to go. He didn’t even look up as he piled vegetables on one side of his plate and passed me the warm dish. I knew he was interested though, if Cassian and I as a pair could be chaotic, Azriel and I managed to be dangerous. 

I leaned in whispering, “think of all the fun we have at dawn flying home. I could wing woman you too.”

“ I don’t recall you being very effective the last time you promised that.”

“She was a real dud and what I don’t recall is you being so skeptical of me the dozen other times you left the place arm and arm with someone.”

He smiled, “2henever you’re ready to be back in Madja’s care we’ll go. 

I don’t know when that night would come around, if it were the kind of plans you make with an air of understanding that they will likely reside for a while in your dreamland. It might end up being the topic of many diners beginning with, we should, we have to, or when are we... If it did happen, however, wherever my life was at that point I knew Azriel would demand nothing of me in explanation. It would be nice, to feel for a moment I wasn’t avoiding something. And if I felt the need to say something he might impart some passing wisdom or just listen. 

Azriel leaned in closer to me, murmuring, “don’t invite Cassian though. With him and your brother around I don’t want their lack to rub off on me.”

“You two are making plans,” Cassian said pointing his fork at us. “Am I invited?” 

“Depends,” I said.

“On?” 

“If you get Rhys to come or not.” 

Upon hearing his name, he halted his conversation with Amren and looked our way, brow lifted as indication that he was prepared to hear our offer. Cassian cleared his throat with a sense of formality, “we’re in need of a proper night out.” 

“Fall is almost in full swing,” Morr added joining the cause. “We’ve barely caused a ruckus.”

“Barely is pretty generous,” Azriel said.

I knocked him with my foot and he laughed under his breath. Rhysand’s eyes scanned the room. Somewhere, you’d think, a reason not to do it was waiting and I was sure he’d find it. Our night out all together would remain a whimsical ideal. We’d bother him for several months, over too many dinners, a hundred courses, just to hear him finally say yes when none of us were around to partake in it. 

“Any thoughts Amren?”

“I certainly have energy to expel.” She said but this was always true. “Whether we go or not it shall come out.”

“Easy there. You scare more males than Y/N does,” Cassian said.

She faced off with the warrior without a blink. “With good reason.”

Rhys gave no hint as to what he would rule which usually meant no. I rolled my eyes and slumped back in my chair. He had screwed his face into such neutrality I was sure he would say we had too much work to do, that dealing with Beron was taking up all his time. 

“And you?” 

Lucien seemed just as caught out by the consideration, sitting upright having not anticipated the attention.“What about me?”

“I won’t carry dead weight. Do they have fun over in Autumn Court or are you as sad as I always believed?”

He’d never seen him as I had seen him. Hungover at breakfast, sneaking sips of wine from his cup to recover or the wickedness of his smile as he’d tower over some female and move to whisper something in her ear. Insults got wielded so easily the later the night went on. Promises to meet after hours to finish a fight were exchanged so readily. Even if he did often brood, Lucien was no stranger to the fun of other courts.

“I’ll manage,” Lucien said like he couldn’t care less, but his eyes slipped over to me and I knew Rhys had seen. After the show I’d made with Cassian and the conversation we’d had in the foyer if he thought everyone was getting together on my account, it would do us no favors.

But Rhys offered up the usual conditions of such a night, “first one to turn in has to pay the tab.” 

So, he remembered how to have fun. Rhys raised his glass in my direction and I returned the gesture. Conversations picked up, but I felt a shift in my mind. I froze. My shields has fallen. I hadn’t noticed him arrive, didn’t know what thoughts he had or hadn’t heard.

You think so poorly of me. He didn’t seem too put out by my assessment.

With good reason. 

C’mon, you used to be so much more fun!

I could say the same to you. You’re so dull these days.

Lucien spoke animatedly with Cassian. Rhys and I looked between them and without any words I knew we both were registering how dangerous the pair would be together. They’d need to meet their match eventually. My brother and I could be that. We were likely the most wretched children in all of Prythian and we were, usually, a united force. For all his worth, all his poking his nose in and needing to be High Lord, he was just as often my willing accomplice. 

We’ll have to give your mate a proper welcome.

From across the table, Rhys ate as if we weren’t plotting revenge. I smiled, and I think Cassian too should pay the price for his comments tonight. 

I could not agree more. 

It will be a night to remember I’m sure. 

I hope it is. I can’t stand to imagine you forgetting that every so often I like to return to the job of being your very mischievous older brother.

With that, I was alone in my thoughts. Rhys was right though, it was good to remember I could count on him. I’d spent how long dealing with their nosiness, I could let myself be both annoyed and endeared that they cared enough, that for some reason they saw Lucien fit enough despite all those years, to try and welcome.

I waited for the conversation to drift my way, watching the same pairs break off and reform but nothing, not even a side comment or reference was pointed in my direction. In fact, after a while, it occurred to me that no one was even looking toward this part of the table. Morr was fixed on Cassian, Rhys too, kept his careful attention on Amren, and I saw only the back of Azriel’s head. It might have meant nothing, but the more I noticed, the more I thought, the less certain I was of each coincidence. 

I clenched my jaw and looked toward my brother who, just as I met his face, reengaged with Amren. Not a shield, but just as good. He was giving me no choice. He’d revealed his plans, he had no reason to be coy, and he wanted us to work our business out. This was apparently where he best thought to do it. 

I kept my head down and ate. I would’ve been more annoyed had I felt, at my chest, the anxiety of someone who like me was searching for something to say. Lucien though did no such thing. He was just as satisfied as I was to keep to himself. They didn’t get it, the sureness we shared at one time, or how it felt now sitting tying us together. And the funny thing is, I might have had so much to say, might have pulled him in on whatever stories they were telling across the table and tried to get what we had back, the understanding I used to have. The forced circumstances only managed to obliterate what had been in my head besides the last real thing we’d said to each other.

I’ve been waiting for you too.

I’d made it clear, I know I had, that I wanted him around. He still waited. All that power we’d given one another to use and I don’t know if we were using it at all. A few passing comments, veiled acknowledgments that we were feeling the other nearly all the time. We were pretending to use that vulnerability under the guise of jokes we’d have made before all of this, but really we were doing nothing. We’ll figure things out just as we always have. But we hadn’t and we had to soon, Rhys was right.

“Madja said,” my brother began when his attempts to get us to talk proved fruitless. “That you should get out and walk for an hour each day starting tomorrow.”

I looked at him, a brow raised. He didn’t know that he didn’t have to do this anymore. I had already decided to change, regardless of the universe we found ourselves in after dinner. I could have my fun too, then, because even if he was right I’d already won. 

 “Did she? I don’t remember her saying so,” I said. “She told me privately.”

He was shameless. If Lucien didn’t notice our exile from other conversations he’d at least see this. As I expected, Rhys turned to my mate who’d stopped eating when the healer had been mentioned. 

“Lucien, you wouldn’t mind going with her would you?”

The only real noise was the creak of Lucien’s chair as he shifted back. Everyone was listening. No one offered themselves in Lucien’s place or volunteered shifts as they had when I was bedridden. I knew they wouldn’t and part of me still thought someone would come to my aid, would know somehow that I got it now.

“No I don’t mind,” he said.

“Then it’s settled!” Cassian said clapping his hands together, “maybe if she’s up to it she can tell you about the winter she spent at the cabin.”

“I think I will,” I smiled. “After I tell them about the building you smashed to rubble in Summer Court.” 

I took a sip of my wine and watched over the rim, the faces dropping around the table. Any noise that had been lingering from before vanished and an even more perfected quiet was left in the wake of my revelation. Of all the faces, Amren in particular seemed the least amused. 

“Excuse me?” Rhys said.

“Hm?” I deflected the storytelling to the male himself.

Cassian had to have been waiting for this since it happened. He continued to cut at his food, taking a bite before he sat back in his chair. The words seemed to formulate in front of him like the story itself was so complex he had to seek out the perfect way to tell it. 

He swallowed first, “It wasn’t even an important building.”

Azriel allowed himself a breathy laugh and nodded to me in approval. If ever there were a time to share it now was it.

“Why hasn’t Tarquin said anything to me?” Rhys asked.

“Y/N asked him not to.”

A betrayal for a betrayal. All eyes turned back to me. For someone who had just said he could be mischievous, Rhys found little amusement in the story and even less appreciation that I handled the situation entirely. A reprimand swished in his mouth like the first taste of wine you have before ordering the bottle. 

“You make it seem as though I asked him not to tattle on you. I stayed one extra day and we had dinner and I apologized and smoothed it over.” I said before he could yell. 

“And?”

“Cassian is, unfortunately, not allowed back to Adriata.”

“Well I am I just have to pay them back for the building, but they wanted a ridiculous price.” 

My brother seemed to deflate, “how much?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

Accepting this at face value, he sighed. “Any other confessions I should consider?”

“Of what nature? I know quite a few secrets I’ve been dying to tell.” Amren asked having found the humor in it all just the same as the rest of us. Her eyes slid toward Azriel and he looked away, but the interest immediately stuck with us all. 

“Do I want to know?” Rhys said and I could tell he did. Amren wouldn’t keep anything truly bad to herself too long. 

“Azriel has been known to enjoy himself at Summer Court as well.”

“Amren,” Azriel said in warning. “I know just as much about you from our trip as you know about me.”

She grew serious and crossed her arms. “See if I care boy.” Though it was obvious she did. She sipped her wine and revealed nothing. 

To my surprise, however, a familiar taunting voice struck the room from beside me. “That wouldn’t happen to have been the trip you got locked out of Cressida’s room, nude, would it Azriel?”

In all my time of knowing Lucien, he had surprised me, both with his wretchedness and his behavior in other courts. One thing that I knew as well as I knew myself, however, was he was a good emissary. He could talk himself into any place he went, and so it should have been no surprise that he was just as amiable, but I felt so anyway. It was obvious now, between what I’d said to Rhys and then this, he fit in. Not just when the court welcomed him, but long before he’d ever known of this place to begin with.

Cassian for all the world looked like he had been told the greatest news of his life. He pressed his hands into his face and laughed tipping his head back into the air with such exertion I thought he might fall backward in his chair. Azriel didn’t seem at all phased by the revelation much less that it was Lucien who’d said it.

“Yeah and if I recall when you’d found me you were arm and arm with her mother.”

Rhys had to break then. All his anger relinquished itself the fact his court was foolish, and he loved them, especially when he was reminded just how foolish they could be. 

I didn’t get the chance to laugh though, a burning struck my side. Before the next confession could be wielded, a quick sheet of darkness fell around me and pooled beneath the table. It was just longer than a blink, and in the quiet burning realization of what had happened, there was only the sound of clinking. Overhead the chandelier swung haphazardly, something had knocked it. I clutched at my side. 

Cassian smirked. “Are you jealous Y/N?”

Lucien turned to me, a dangerous pair these two would be indeed, and smirked as if waiting for my confirmation of it. He could feel it no doubt, lashing around in his ribs trying to strike. Regardless of these perfect circumstances, what existed in the bond between us was truly unspoken. 

“Why shouldn’t she be?” Morr said before I could take the heat and as soon as I heard her voice I felt my stomach in my throat. “After she saw him all those years ago she developed quite the crush.”

“You said you’d never tell!” 

Morr smiled, she knew I had no other option than to confirm what she’d said. Not only that, but she was one of the few of us who remained unscathed by this sudden honesty hour. “I said no such thing. I promised you could tell me.”

Lucien sucked in his cheeks and suppressed the laughter in the way the rest of my court did not. I’d had a crush on him for all of one night, not even. It was shortly after Rhys became High Lord, when things were feeling normal again, but he’d wanted everyone at our first engagement just in case. We’d been informed Beron’s sons would be there, but they didn’t know which. 

“Any combination will be particularly wretched, so Cassian will be with you,” Rhys said as we walked into the garden they’d gathered us into. Tarquin was hosting, and in the heat and promise of perpetual summer, everyone was full of life, mingling. They’d strung up these lights which emitted the warmest glow, like daylight or the closest thing to it I have ever seen against a night sky. I stared at them when we walked in, as Rhys gave out the orders. They looked almost romantic to me, something like love in a bottle. He’d been standing beside Tamlin, Lucien was the first person I saw when I finally looked at the place, really looked. He was laughing.

I don’t know how long I was staring, but I could feel the look on my face. Infatuation personified, Morr had said and whenever I remembered those words together I was viscerally back in that moment, watching him laugh, not caring who he was because I knew from that first look.

“Do you like him?” Morr asked pulling me aside. 

I looked over my shoulder and saw him approach someone for a dance. There was an instant desperation, a pressure sitting in me that I had to let it out somehow.

“You won’t tell?”

It was a short-lived opinion, however. All night I stood there, my first party, and no one asked me to dance. Though I couldn’t say for certain if it was reputation, Cassian did not help remedy any nerves. 

“Who are you?” Eris had said when Cassian had slipped away to get us a drink. The night was half over but for a moment I thought it could be beginning. From context clues, it wasn’t so difficult to work out who he was either, but I didn’t care, I was just glad for the attention. I didn’t let that show. Even before Lucien, it was a dry business, talking to Autumn Court males.

“We shouldn’t be speaking.”

“Why's that?”

“I’m Night Court, we’re not exactly meant to mingle.”

It made him laugh, one of the few times I managed it, and it made me feel reckless, more confident than I should have been. “I should have guessed. Rhysand’s infamous sister.”

“Please.”

“I’m serious, I’d never feed the ego of any of you for no reason.”

“What's your reason now?”

He shrugged, “I think it’ll be funny to see that Illyrian’s face when he returns and sees who you deign to talk to.”

I turned to see if Cassian was on his way back, but he was nowhere to be found. “He won’t care.”

“Why.”

“Because I already decided I would lie if he showed up.”

Eris was handsome and I knew that as he stood there before me, his own cruelty was a distant future. I wouldn’t see him for 25 years after that night and even then it was sparse. It was Lucien after that, always Lucien. To the point that the only way I got Eris to laugh after was by doing so at his brother’s expense. 

“I’ll have to do something undeniable then.”

“Like?’

“Ask you to dance.”

I was silent. It wasn’t that I thought he was kidding, I knew he wasn’t. I didn’t know if I would say yes and if I didn’t say yes I wasn’t sure what I’d say instead. Against the warmth of the lights, he hadn’t seemed so terrible as they’d made him out to be. So I thought, apparently for too long, because someone else had gathered their opinion and was ready to share it. 

“You wouldn’t.” From behind Eris, Lucien was standing within earshot. Even for all I liked him that night, the way I had been drawn to him, I hadn’t noticed his arrival. The moment Eris looked back at me, however, I felt the diminishing sureness of my place in the world. I wanted Cassian to come back and I didn’t know when he would. “The only thing you have going for you besides your future as a High Lord is you never sully yourself, not even with her.”

His reaction was visceral, even I felt it. I was disgusting to him. Enough that just acknowledging me repulsed him. Though it was not the last insult he’d ever say to me, it was the only compliment I ever heard him make to his brother. 

Eris laughed, it was false, malicious now, and turned toward his brother. “Who would have thought, you of all people.”

The two walked off. I slipped behind a shrub and wiped at my eyes. No one else spoke to me. It was the only birthday I ever cried.

Lucien must have remembered just as much as I did of that night, because where he’d felt a kind of fondness it quickly dissolved into a wave of shame. I didn’t like to think about it, though his opinion seemed almost violent he’d never had such a reaction to me again. Late on I said it was our duty. When we met again we observed a century-long tradition of hating one another, but it was never so volatile as that first time. 

“I knew it,” Rhys said with such vindication it pulled us from the memory. I’d worked years and years, dodging their remarks with sincerity. They knew, they said, that secretly beneath all that hate and annoyance was something secretly fond. Morr would join in but I’d considered her more of an ally to me all this time. But what a coincidence, that she chose to reveal it only once Lucien had sat down at our table. 

“What did she say? Dear diary,” Cassian began writing on a phantom paper. “I met the most beautiful male tonight.”

“The little 100-year-old fae with a crush on a big bad male,” Rhys said.

My brother seemed too content having, apparently, nothing to share of his own embarrassment in all these years. He harbored all the arrogance in the world, believing he was invincible. How quickly he forgot of his sister who knew him just as well as he knew her. I could tell he’d realized just what I had ready to share. The very thing that this court had spent a century and a half trying to confirm.

“And what can be said for the High Lord who was caught fucking our tutor in the hall closet by our mother.”

More than the whole room I think really the world paused, before, at long last, everyone let out a roar of laughter. If there were more secrets to be shared no one said them.

***

After dinner we all stood around for a long time, finishing our wine and talking. All tensions faded with our individual triumphs and satisfactions and peace descended like mist over the hills. Every so often the thing in my chest with which Lucien was connected buzzed with emotions that the male did well of hiding. Flickers of undiagnosed sadness, pleasure, and even for some reason moments of endearment carved their way into my chest like I was receiving a second heart. I wasn’t sure what was strong enough to make its way to him, if he felt always my emotions as the echo of his own. 

That sound of the room took on that quality it does when you realize someone is close to announcing they’re going home. The night had worn itself down. I went to find Lucien, to pull him aside, but sometime between two big feelings, he’d gotten away. He wasn’t there. I scanned as unsuspecting as possible the areas I could see. He was nowhere, not in the hallway or down the stairs. I listened, tuning everyone out, but even then he remained lost. 

“Go,” Rhys said. 

I looked at my glass, half of it left and the thought of drinking it turned my stomach.“Are you scheming?” 

“Not this time.” He smiled holding his hand out for the cup to finish it. I downed the wine myself and let its bitter dry flavor burn. 

I wandered the hall first, the library downstairs could draw him in just as the one at home. How often he would peruse Helion’s. Or the other rooms he’d yet to see. I leaned against the railing, the banister cold compared to his body on mine as he helped me down the stairs. It was only when I stopped thinking that I understood. 

I strained at the process of taking each small step upward. It didn’t occur to me that I would need the help. After flying and the accidental use of magic each step took great effort. The bond tipped him off. After the first half of the stairs, he found me instead. He moved with an urgency he hadn’t had earlier, down to meet me with his arm outstretched. 

It had become chillier outside, cooler than when we’d arrived. Tonight, when all of us went to sleep, would he open that window and think of home? The blankets be up to his chin and the tip of his nose colder than all the rest, from an autumn tinted by winter. We’d just made it to the balcony, the fabric of my clothes snagging on the stone, when Lucien finally spoke. 

“There was a reason I was rarely at home,” he said, as if the tether between us relayed words just as well as feelings. I waited for his grief, his pain, to find its way to my chest, the memories of home, but they did not come. He had never wanted to stay, or else had never imagined it. Yet there was fondness just the same. “You though, this is where you should be.”

Doubt. It struck before I could confess as much myself. His face softened and I knew he felt what I’d revealed. It would have been fine if we’d been in the other place, the one that we didn’t mention. The rules of secrecy felt more secure. I knew he wouldn’t tell, I think I just wanted the easy thing. 

“You understand, yes?” 

“I do.”

The eventual fallacy of the place that made you, that you grow older, that other places make you over again and you can’t go back. I didn’t want to leave the way he wanted to leave, but there was a terrifying thought that had settled long before the night Lucien came. I belonged here, but I could belong somewhere else too. I was not like them even if we’d been made of the same thing. 

It was a faraway thought and I didn’t give it much power over me. I took comfort in the fact that no one could make me go, not anymore. Not Beron or marriage to some male across the continent. That power resided with me entirely. 

“I don’t know why it never occurred to me how well you’d do here.”

“Am I doing well?”

“You don’t think so?”

He was closer than when we’d first arrived tonight, his shoulder rubbing mine when he shrugged. He didn’t see it, not as I did, what was happening. Tonight was probably the first time he realized that they were accepting him. 

“They like you,” I said staring at my shoes. Lucien moved just a fraction closer, sidestepping, and I saw. I was waiting for that seam in the world to slip over us so I could say the last part, but this was the same universe, the same Lucien. “I like you here.”

He leaned against the railing, as I’d seen him do a hundred times before, though it was the first time he’d ever so casually done so with me. He looked just as cool as he always seemed. When I let out my breath, it was shaky. He knew it, he heard it. Yet even in that small turn, the opening of his body to my own I felt braver. If I wanted to I could close the distance so easily. No one was here to see it, no one was coming to interrupt.

“I’m sorry I haven’t asked for you.”

“Y/N—” he began but I stopped him. 

“It's rare, for me to apologize to you, so just take it.”

A deep breathy laugh rose from far in his chest. I was met with the warmth of his face as he smiled at me in a way he never had before. It wasn’t even familiar at a distance, from catching him slyly approaching females from across a room. I held my head in my palm, leaning toward him like we were in some corner of a party and no one else mattered. Not that anyone else did anyway, even if they were here. The whole of Velaris was at our fingertips, my family downstairs and likely soon approaching, and none of it mattered in the slightest.

“What did you mean when you said it didn’t have to be the same forever?”

“You asked me if things would be back to normal in the morning. I didn’t really have a vision of the future, I just knew I didn’t want to go back.”

“But we did.”

He nodded, “Yes. When we were together briefly it felt like real life had taken over. I tried to figure out a way to get back to the ease we’d found when you brought me here, but it wasn’t so easy. And—”

So he had known, he felt it, that place we’d go to. His acknowledgment of it forced its return. The universe manifested around us like a reward for the hard thing we’d already done by being brave without its certainties. 

“And?”

Laughter broke open the atmosphere from far below. Did all of Velaris seek out their friends and family on nights like tonight? A connection, running through the very foundation of this city, leaving us all tethered to each other by love. 

“I didn’t want to lose everything entirely either.”

That dynamic I’d found so entertaining all these years, if we woke the following morning and had reinvented our existence beside one another entirely I’m sure I’d miss it too. I didn’t even consider it, that it was something we could lose.

“I don’t know if it's in our nature to be at peace and agreeable too long with each other.”

“I’ve worked as much out.”

“What gave it away?”

“The garden.”

A breeze folded up over the city and pushed my hair over my shoulders. I shivered at its delivery. Lucien noticed with an instinct that I didn’t want to call primal. It would diminish the intention of it, that he had done so with good manners and care. He pulled me against his body and turned us away so that he blocked most of the wind.

“Do you know now, how you’d want things to be different?” I asked. 

“Mostly.”

“You’ll visit me then?”

“Yes.”

“And?” I said. We were guessing, terrified and guessing all of the time. He’d become better at knowing what I meant and I was beginning to understand him again in small ways, but we were both equally unsure. No doubt we were equally afraid.

“You’ll laugh.” His palm met my cheek. His large hand spread across my face leaving nothing but warmth. The fire in him, in his blood, made sure to chase away the cold.

“I won’t. I promise,” I said, meeting his softness with my own. “Not when you managed to spare me after you learned of my crush.”

I expected to find softness on his features but instead, he looked more stern, stoic as usual. He almost even looked confused, but he relaxed quickly and he brushed the hair from my face. I had no entry to his mind, no free reign, to know what occupied his thoughts so fully. Even if I did, however, I wouldn’t use it. So instead I waited to see if he would reveal it on his own. 

“Why should I, when I only just admitted I’d always found you beautiful.”

My heart pressed against my ribcage like Lucien had pulled at it. Always. Not now, or 50 years ago, always always always. Even when he’d said what he’d said to Eris about me, he thought it then and he thought it now. He wasn’t being kind to me because I was pretty again, because I’d always been pretty. 

“I never thought…” I began, but the words ceased to exist. I leaned my forehead into his chest like the warmth would revive my mind as the water had that afternoon to my body. 

“Because I wouldn’t let you.”

 For the first time in all my life, I felt afraid of what would happen if I looked at him the way he had at me. I wanted to hide exactly nothing, not the blush at my cheeks or the question in my brow. And it scared me, the intensity with which I wanted to see him and be seen in return because I knew that we would. It would be mutual now, in a way that had once only belonged to him. There was no undoing it if I lifted my head. So I did. 

“How much time have we wasted?” I asked, unsure of what I really meant by it entirely. Lucien thought on it, refusing to answer right away.

“Just enough I should think.”

“I don’t wish to rush.”

“With 50 years behind us…” Lucien said, his eyes looking at my lips. I let mine look at his for the first time in many years. That first night I’d seen him I noticed them. He didn’t even glance, didn’t even look in my direction or notice me until he found me with Eris. I’d felt so young, so childish, wanting to be under his gaze. Now I was no different, or entirely different. I wanted to know what they felt like, if they too were warm. 

“And what about real life?” I asked.

“What about it?”

“When things return to normal, as they will, you'll feel differently.”

“And?”

“And I will be left to want what I have never wanted before.”

Lucien smiled, there was a flicker of amusement but his brows mirrored the confusion mine had only just displayed. I knew that our real life was too close, always waiting to take us back to the places where we existed, where these things shared did not reign or govern anything.

“How do you mean?” He said.

“Every night since you came to my room I’ve held my own hands to fall asleep.”

If it weren’t for the bond I’d have felt I’d said something wrong, something that made him sad or hurt his feelings by the way his face suddenly held no emotion at all. Instead, though he let go of me, pulled away, and braced himself against the railing looking out at the city. I’d have asked why, would have acted out, had the sound of approaching laughter not reached me first. A moment later everyone was up on the terrace with us. 

“Shall we?” Cassian said with a smile as he grabbed my shoulder. This interruption was far less welcome. I couldn’t exactly say what or how Cassian knew but he seemed to be aware of just what was being interrupted. I hoped one day to return the favor. I nodded, repeating the same routine amusement I had when Lucien had stood awkwardly with Rhys outside the townhouse before Cassian lifted me into his arms and we were gone. 

At home, just as the house quieted and I had lifted the covers to my bed I heard a soft knock at the door. I almost would have thought it was the floorboards and windows settling but I checked anyway. Opening the door, the moonlight falling in sheets behind me, I saw in its glow Lucien. He had kept the stony face he’d taken on at the house of wind, hiding what down the bond I could still feel. In the faint light I saw it now, his cheeks flushed pink. In my chest too, I felt the embers of something like attraction. I would have gone to get a sweater, asked him to wait so I might cover up, had he not spoken first. 

“Give me your hand.” 

Letting go of the door forced it open more and I knew now he saw me even more clearly, but I tried not to care. I tried to remind myself what had already been revealed. I gave him my hand and he took it gently, like he was scared even of being too hard and was overcompensating by barely holding on at all. He flipped it over in his, exposing the palm, and raised it just enough so he could bow his head and meet my skin with his lips. I watched him linger, felt the warmth along the sensitive skin, and tried to memorize how his mouth felt so I could try, tonight, to recreate the touch in other places. 

“What was that for?” I said as he pulled away and let go.

“To give you a hunger I could satisfy.” 

[thegoddessseris]

INTERLINKED chapter 2

I'll tell your secrets to the stars

oc! Xaden Riorson's sister! insert.

Summary: Xaden's little sister finds herself having to survive in the war college of Basgiath, between new truths and the rediscovery of what she really is.

TW: death, fight.

World Count: 912

A/N: All rights to the characters and plot of the book go to Rebecca Yarros, however you have no right to republish or rework this story.

Also out on wattpad!

Masterlist - previous chapter

«a nightmare is just a dream: it cannot harm you directly. But it wears you out from the inside. Slowly. And if you carry that nightmare with you when the sun is high, you risk dying. Don't be fooled. We create our own nightmares»

—page 18 of Eris' diary.

Wood.

I could feel the wood against my fingertips as I gripped the axe tightly and shook it back and forth, repeatedly. I used a lot of strength, a strength given by an emotion that I couldn't put my finger on.And he screamed in pain and cried and trembled and begged me to stop as the ax collided and penetrated his body again and again, but I was in a sort of trance 

I was sweating. My breathing was labored, my eyes wide and fixed on my goal, my mouth slightly open.Blood splattered my face and the clothes I was wearing, making the scene even more graphic and terrifying than it already was.The weapon struck the man's head continuously and insistently, opening his skull and killing him.

Once I let go of the weapon I looked at the helpless body beneath me.There was nothing left of that man.Yet, I felt no sensation, no sense of peace or remorse.I didn't feel anything. Outside the small house I was in, everything was calm and regular, and life went on as normal. My hands were shaking: I didn't know if it was from the adrenaline or from what I had just done.

My heart pounded against my chest, my soul curled in on itself with shame, shame that I had managed to carry out such a violent act without fear or repentance.

"No, no, no, no! I didn't mean to!" I screamed, stumbling backwards and landing on the ground, eyes wide and tears streaming down my cheeks.

"It was all your fault.. what did you do.." my brother's voice said, like an echo, before revealing himself in front of me."

I didn't want to" I replied in a faint voice, while tears flowed from my eyes like a raging river."

It's all- your fault.." his silhouette said, before being pierced by a sword in the chest. Mother's sword.Blood dripped from his mouth as the life left his eyes.

"NO!"

I woke up with a start, with tears streaming down my face and my breath hitching. My legs were shaking, but I didn't care, I needed air.I slowly moved the covers off my body, sitting on the side of the bed, then standing up and tiptoing towards the door.Once outside I immediately relaxed at the sight of the stars, sitting in a hidden corner. If someone caught me out now, I'd be in a lot of trouble.I tried to breathe deeply, keeping my eyes closed, to calm my heart that was still pounding in my chest, threatening to jump out."You can't sleep too?" said a voice next to me.I think I had a heart attack.But when I turned to look at him, I found a similar face."And who the fuck are you?" I said, taking out my dagger, getting up on the ground and walking away from him."Hey hey! Okay, I'm Ridoc! Fourth wing!" He said, raising his hands.And then, I realized. He was little Sorrengail's teammate.What was he doing here at this time of night? And what did he want from me? Wait, what time was it?

"What are you doing out at this hour?"

"What are you doing out at this hour?"

I winced when we asked the same question at the same time. What the hell?"I could not sleep." He immediately answered."Me neither." I replied, before looking at him carefully: he has dark brown hair that flops against the brown skin of his forehead as he moves. He's not very tall, i think just one inch more than me.Christ, everyone in this quadrant is too beautiful. Men, women, even a chimpanzee would look sexy if he walked in here, probably.

"Nightmare?" He asked, and I flinched again. He noticed, nodding his head towards me. "You're sweaty and I can tell you've been crying, plus you look like you just woke up" he explained looking at me.I didn't respond, simply preferring the option of turning my head to the other side, then raising it slightly to be able to direct my gaze and look at the stars.He was silent for a while, and as soon as I started to think that maybe he would go away, he raised his head to look at the stars, and spoke."I have them too" his tone was sweet, vulnerable. Hearing that warmed my soul. In a place like this, where any vulnerability or form of humanity was despised, seeing someone show it made me vulnerable too."It's shitty" I whispered, but my attention shifted when I saw him lower himself, and sit on the ground, looking at the sky decorated with thousands of stars. So I sat down too, at a safe distance, with the dagger still in my hand.

No words, I didn't even give him a look. That night no one found us out late and yelled at us. That night, I spent hours sitting next to what could easily have been my enemy during the day. He could have killed me, but he didn't.And I wasn't worried that this would somehow get out or make people realize how fucking weak I really am.

I know he won't say anything, because now, he knows my secret, and I know his. And here, in this quadrant, is perhaps the worst a cadet could have:

We are human.