#eris third house
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𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒 (𝟏𝟑𝟔𝟏𝟗𝟗) 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
𝐈. 𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒
asteroid eris is named after the greek goddess of discord and strife. eris is known to be a troublemaker and is often credited with starting and sustaining the trojan war. although eris is often associated with creating problems for people, liana miate asserts that hesiod (an ancient greek poet) splits eris into two: a younger version who aligns with sowing discord for no reason and an older version who intends to bring about competition and push people to go beyond their set limits.
in astrology, eris follows her mythological roots and represents areas of life where we can encounter disruptions, major losses, and chaos. eris can also tell of where we face injustices and where we need to learn to stand up for ourselves.
asteroid eris mainly makes itself known as it moves and creates transiting aspects, but for this post i will be focusing on how it functions in one’s birth chart. (if you do want me to analyze how it may work as it makes aspects to planets and other object - let me know).
𝐈𝐈. 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒
asteroid eris has an orbital period of about 560 years, so it moves through the signs really slowly. this asteroid has been in the sign of aries since the mid-1920s and won’t be in taurus until 2048 where it will stay until around 2146. with this in mind, i will only explain the way the signs aries and taurus will influence the way asteroid eris can function.
𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦
eris in aries could be tumultuous. there could be more of an emphasis on literal war and combat which makes sense in my opinion given the world wars were in and around the time period of this asteroid being in aries. i also see eris in aries being more likely to fight back against the chaos the asteroid can bring; if older eris wants people to learn to stand up for themselves, then aries is the perfect sign for that to occur. again, we can look back in history to see revolutions like the civil rights movement, the vietnam war protests, the breaking up of the british empire and more occur while this asteroid was in aries. of course, these things happen all throughout history, but i want to specify how often this seems to happen while in the specific period of eris in aries. asteroid eris in aries seems to function as dealing with catastrophes head-on with the idea of pushing through the tough times instead of succumbing to them. while discord may hit hard; the collective will rise back with more strength than what was had before.
𝗧𝗔𝗨𝗥𝗨𝗦
eris in taurus could bring about a sort of predictable chaos. build ups to conflict may be obvious, but when it occurs it could destroy people’s comfortability and especially bring havoc to finances. conflicts could last for long periods of time, and people overall could fall into a “woe is me” attitude when it comes to figuring out how to move past catastrophes; instead of figuring out how to advocate for one’s self or the collective when facing injustices - those born under eris in taurus could try to wait things out. the idea of fighting back or advocating for oneself could take a while to be viable, but once it becomes an option i could see people putting up a hard fight. asteroid eris in taurus could be reluctant to face conflict head on, but once decided to it will be obstinate on its course. i’m reminded of the phrase “when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object”.
𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒
𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗧
you could go through drastic physical changes. if you were to get into plastic surgery, fillers, botox, etc. it may not bode well for you; your body could react negatively to the treatments and/or you may not look as well as you wanted to. you could also struggle with your identity or feeling like you don't truly know yourself or what you want to do in life. you could go through "phases" or looking and/or dressing a certain way. you could feel as if no one understands you, or as if the way you view yourself is vastly different from how others see and understand you. people may not be able to come to a consensus about who they think you are as a person. it could take you a while to find out "who you are", and your body may change often throughout your life. those with eris in the first house probably need to come to terms with the way they look instead of trying to constantly change their appearance, and they also likely need to learn how to settle down with one way of living or learn to embrace that vastness of who they want to be instead of trying to put themselves into a box.
𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗗
money and other financial successes could easily come and go out of your life. you may be the type of person who loses things more easily than the average person, and you may find it hard to retain money and possessions. during tense transits, you could have items repossessed or even stolen from you. your routines could be hard to maintain, or you could find random incidents keep you from being able to have one. it could be easy for you to break bad habits (but again, could be hard for you to maintain good ones). you could find yourself struggling to keep jobs or find that you're drawn to jobs where every day is different and unpredictable. you may need to learn how to stay on top of what it is you want and need to do (ie. writing down a schedule, having someone hold you accountable, etc.). you may need to learn how to say no to yourself when it comes to spending money and work on having a savings account you can't touch at all. it may be better for you to make large purchases with cash instead of setting up payments, so you can keep possessions long-term.
𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗗
you could find yourself being ghosted often and/or you could have trouble maintaining contact with others. you could be "horrible with communication" or even technology to an extent. you could find that people misunderstand you or they think you're more harsh in your words than you intend to be. you could also have a tumultuous relationship with your siblings - maybe you've always found it hard to connect with them, or you go long periods of time without talking. your early education may have been interrupted in some way (having to move away, change schools, etc.). you could also have issues with transportation more often than others like your car breaking down randomly or always being late to events due to unreliability. learning how to advocate for yourself will be a major key to dealing with this eris placement. there's a need to learn how to "speak up" and deal with confrontation without running away and also without arguing. you may find it better to try leaving early to account for possible transportation issues. there's a need to learn to set boundaries with your siblings also in order to maintain the connection.
𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗛
you could have an unstable home life. maybe you had (or you do) change living situations often, or your relationship with your family might not be the best. your childhood might’ve been fractured as a result of family issues. people, areas, or things you find comfort in may seem like they always get “ruined” at some point (ie. if you have a comfort show it gets canceled or the writing starts going downhill, a celebrity you like ends up being very problematic, etc.). you may feel as if you have no control over your emotions, or whenever you try to control your emotions you end up breaking down anyways. you may even find it hard to trust your instincts. you may also find it hard to create and maintain relationships with women - especially your mother. you may need to learn how to come to terms with the fact your childhood wasn’t as good as you wanted (or as good as it should’ve been); you might even have to realize you need to put yourself and your needs above your family due to their issues. you may need to learn to step back when it comes to parasocial relationships; figuring out it’s okay to find comfort in things or people, but not putting them on a pedestal anymore.
𝗙𝗜𝗙𝗧𝗛
eris in the fifth house is also a contender for having an unstable childhood. maybe you weren’t allowed to behave like a child, or your childhood abruptly ended due to unforeseen circumstances. when engaging in creative avenues, you may encounter blocks often - in terms of imagination, originality, or physical blocks. you might even find that the art you create gets messed up in some way (ie. you delete a song or a section of a song you were making, you mix the wrong paints together, etc.). you may spontaneously lose interest in hobbies, or you’re prevented from being able to do them (ie. it rains on a day you planned to golf, you run out of yarn when you were planning to knit, etc.). with this placement, it may also seem like your romantic life is never going anywhere; this is another house that may see people ghosting them, or when you go out on dates they could be horrendous. you may need to learn how to create things out of your messes when it comes to creative endeavors; there’s a need to learn how to “roll with the punches” so to speak. you may find it best to engage in multiple hobbies instead of just one or finding a way to have someone hold you accountable for the creative work you want to create. there’s a need to allow yourself to go back to being the child you never got to be at some points.
𝗦𝗜𝗫𝗧𝗛
you may be the type of person who always has health issues or some sort of injury. when you try to create good health habits you may find it hard to stay on track, and there may even be instances where you unintentionally break your habits (ie. you’re counting calories and want to stay under a certain amount but by day three you’ve forgotten you were dieting this way, you’re forced to work overtime one night and it just happens to be one of the days you’ve set aside for weight training, etc.). you may lose items easily, and when you try to help others you may have a way of making things worse (ie. you tried to help someone cook, but you burned part of the meal). you may need to advocate for and pay attention to your health and your body more than the average person. similar to other placements, having other people hold you accountable may be helpful for you to maintain habits you want to implement. you may find it best to keep items in the same place each time you don’t have them in your hand, so you don’t lose things as often. when helping others, try to have someone check your work to be sure you’re providing aid the right way.
𝗦𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗛
you could find yourself entering toxic relationships often or at least relationships that often never go anywhere. you might find yourself being ghosted by people for seemingly no reason or drama arising out of relationships you have from out of nowhere. contracts you write up or engage in could fall apart easily (ie. you receive a job offer, but it’s randomly rescinded for no reason; you have everything in order to move to a new apartment, but you get rejected out of nowhere), or they could cause more headaches than they’re worth. you might find people often don’t give enough in their relationships with you - like you’re the one running the show, making all the plans to be together, spending all the money, and they’re only along for the ride, or they only focus on what they can gain from you. you may need to learn how to have respect for yourself when it comes to relationships of all kinds. learning to not set yourself on fire in order to keep someone else from being cold, demanding equality in partnerships, etc. with this placement in aries i could even see a need to step back from relationships in some way - to allow or force others to pull their weight instead of making everything happen on your own. there’s a need to learn how to advocate for yourself and your needs in partnerships and contracts.
𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗛
you could feel as if you’re always going through some sort of transformation - almost as if your life itself or life circumstances are always unstable. when you try to share with others you could find your kindness is not appreciated, so you may feel reluctant to give people money or take money from others for seemingly no reason. whenever you try to create deep connections with people it could feel like things never work out or always fall through (ie. you want to have a business partner, but the person backs out at the last minute, you need someone to cosign on a loan for you, but no one is willing). also, with this placement you may feel as if people leave randomly; this could range from being ghosted, them not putting in effort to maintain a relationship with you, conversations going stale to literal death taking people away from you without warning. additionally, your long term assets may be unstable. there could be a need to learn how to let go of things and people once they’ve served their purpose in your life; some people are meant to be present for only moments or periods of time in your life as opposed to throughout the whole journey. there’s also a need to stay on top of contracts and long-term investments; you could find that lower risk investments work best for you. there’s also a need to learn how to share yourself with others and allow others to do the same with you even through times where you may have been betrayed - learning from your mistakes is important in this area.
𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗛
this is another placement that could encounter issues with transportation since the ninth house deals with travel. going further though, you could often experience disruptions when going on trips or vacations (ie. forgetting your passport, wallet, or other important item; flights being canceled or delayed for no reason, having “bad” experiences when you visit other areas). this could also be an indicator of struggling in areas of higher academia; this could be in regards to the material feeling overwhelming to learn or things always going wrong during the school year (ie. experiencing life changing events that make it hard for you to attend class, having to drop classes or finding it hard to create a schedule that works, etc.). connections to religion could also be unstable; you could feel uncomfortable with the idea of religion because of issues with religious institutions. you may find that people often try to suppress your culture or way of living, or you could find it hard to connect with your culture because people push you away from it in some way. there’s a need to be proactive when it comes to the way you travel – opting to leave too early instead of even on time, checking your luggage twice and three times over, etc. you may need to advocate for yourself more when interacting with higher institutions like college or religious places, and there’s also a need to be proud of your culture and views despite people’s attempts to erase them.
𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗛
when it comes to receiving recognition for your achievements you could find that you’re often looked over. your career path may be hard for you to narrow down, or you could find you’re let go from jobs without warning when everything seems to be fine from your point of view. you may jump from job to job or be promoted and demoted to certain positions for no reason. you could encounter extreme highs and lows when it comes to your reputation; it might even be possible that your reputation is not consistent amongst people, and it could be hard for you to control it. when you’re in positions of power you may find that people often undermine you or refuse to take you seriously - especially men. on that note, you may find it hard to create and maintain relationships with men (especially your father). you could find people always find a way to criticize you or tell you all the work you do is wrong no matter what you do. there’s a need to possibly embrace whatever reputation people assign to you instead of trying to control the narrative or change who you are to appease everyone. there is also a need to demand recognition and praise when you know you deserve it - possibly even walking away from job opportunities when you know you’re being lowballed. there’s a need to maintain your sense of self trusting that the truth of who you are will guide you towards those who will appreciate you.
𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗛
it could be hard for you to maintain friendships and connections with the collective and other groups in general. you could find yourself being iced out or being the “odd one out” when you try to fit in. technology may fail on your frequently, or you may feel like it doesn’t like you (ie. you find it hard to connect to wifi, you always have phone or computer issues, etc.). you may feel as if (or told) that you’re not as helpful as you think you are when it comes to collective situations (ie. group projects). you could find your ideas and dreams for the future often don’t work out, or you find them hard to maintain. there’s partially a need to embrace your individuality - to come to terms with the fact that you will eventually find a group that aligns with you and won’t push you out or make you feel othered. there’s a need to keep putting yourself out there even when you feel like it never works out. there’s also a need to maintain hope – for the future, for connecting with others, and when it comes to interacting with technology.
𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗙𝗧𝗛
this is another placement that would indicate feeling as if you’re always going through some sort of transformation or ending in life. you could feel as if your spiritual life is in constant chaos (ie. having times where you’re clear on what your journey is and then suddenly feeling like you have no clue what you’re doing; being able to communicate with your guides clearly and then suddenly hearing radio silence, etc.). you could feel as if you don’t “truly” or “intimately” know yourself. you could find that your subconscious activates at random times and could cause trouble when you least expect it. you could feel as if your fate changes quickly going from having great luck to none at all. when it’s time to end certain cycles in your life you may find it hard to let go, or you may feel as if things end abruptly leaving little space for you to accept these endings. there’s a need to learn to be okay with abrupt endings or the idea of never receiving closure – finding a way to maintain peace even if this doesn’t happen. there’s also a need to take fate into your own hands instead of always being passive (or learning to be passive when it’s necessary). there’s a need to be open to ambiguity as opposed to running away from it.
#sunkissedchld#astrology#astroblr#asteroids#asteroid: eris#eris in aries#eris is taurus#aries eris#taurus eris#eris first house#eris second house#eris third house#eris fourth house#eris fifth house#eris sixth house#eris seventh house#eris eighth house#eris ninth house#eris tenth house#eris eleventh house#eris twelfth house#asteroid eris
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Fragments of Starlight (3)
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: Finally saved, there is nowhere else to turn other than the impending war.
Word Count: 4,666
Warnings: ANGST, violence, torture, dark themes
A/N: First, I am SO sorry that this took me ages to get together. Second, I am SO grateful for all the amazing feedback and sweet messages I’ve received from everyone. This is a hobby of mine that I love and love to share. Third, please don’t be mad at me after this.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 4
---
Before
It had been a long night, full of unsettling dreams. Not that that wasn’t normal. A yawn escaped my lips as I rolled over to the morning light peeking through the curtains, the haze of night still lingering on me. Morning, that meant training. Stretching off the daze and the dreams, I sat up in bed and an herbal smell crossed my senses. With furrowed brows I looked to the nightstand next to my bed.
There sat a steaming cup of tea. Tea? Where the hell would that have come from? I reached for it, pulling it from the nightstand. Under the mug was a folded-up parchment. Placing the mug back down, I reached for the note and unfolded it. Azriel’s neat handwriting adored it.
“No training today. Cass and I are off to meet Eris. Drink up in the meantime. – Azriel.”
A smile spread across my face as I sat the note back down and took the mug into my hands. Blowing some steam away, I brought it to my lips. Peppermint. My favorite. My heart fluttered at the hot drink. Azriel must have caught on that it was always peppermint tea I would drink when staying up to finish work, a book, or whatever it may be.
After a few more sips, I set the mug back down on its place on the nightstand. I picked up the parchment once more and flipped it to the empty side and with a pen adorning my nightstand drawer wrote, “Don’t forget to breathe between brooding sessions. Stay safe out there, Az. – Y/N.”
Settling the parchment back onto the nightstand I knew the house would have it delivered for me. By the time I had reached for another sip, the note was gone.
---
The exchanging of notes had become a normal thing for me and Azriel after the first one I found placed on my nightstand. It was sweet really. They went from anywhere about having a good day, to meeting up later, or even just teasing one another. Teasing one another was my favorite.
Azriel, with his slinking shadows, was always sneaking up on me. Whether that be in the training ring, or in the library. So, I had left a note on his desk for him. Trying to get the house to understand that I wanted to deliver this one myself before it could simply just take it from under my fingers. The house had also grown accustomed to mine and Azriel’s note sharing.
Upon his desk in his room, I left a note that read, “If you keep sneaking up on me, I might have to start carrying a bell for you. - Y/N.”
Satisfied with leaving it on his desk, I left his room and made for my own. I walked down the hallway, and as I was turning the knob to reach my own room, a hand clasped around my shoulder, “A bell won’t help you, but nice try.” Azriel’s voice made me jump out of my skin.
I swirled around and all but smacked his hand off my shoulder out of instinct. He chuckled at my response. His stupidly beautiful smile was something I still found myself grateful for being able to see. His usually stone-cold appearance would fade away when you knew him well enough. When you knew him the way I do.
“Damnit! How the hell are you that quiet and that fast!” I was smiling now, but still flustered with his surprise appearance. I was just in his bedroom after all. A blush crept up my cheeks at the thought.
“I have shadows in my room at all times, they just whispered to me about a certain someone sneaking around there. Then, they told me what your note said. I couldn’t just pass up on the opportunity to tease you a little.” His voice was warm. Azriel was always warm to me. He lifted his hand to my face and brushed some of the hair that had fallen into it from his surprise, behind my ear.
I’m sure my cheeks burnt bright now, at the touch, but I couldn’t help but just smile and shake my head. I pushed him away playfully and turned to my bedroom to enter.
As I entered, I heard his chuckle dancing in the hallway again and my heart felt like it was going to leap out of its chest as I shut my door.
---
Now
The pain that decorated my body was nothing compared to what was soaring through my hands and my heart. After being rescued I was taken directly to a camp where some of Rhys’ armies were. Instead of being put in the infirmary, they put me in a tent of my own, where Madja could tend to me personally.
I had asked Madja to tell the rest of the Inner Circle to leave me be while healing. I wanted to be alone. I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget.
Madja was there, unwrapping my hands again. It has been a few days since I was saved, but my hands were not healing at the same rate the rest of me did. At the site of my hands, I became nauseous. Fresh, pink skin was covering the back of them, but the palms. The palms were still blistered. Still sloughing off with old skin and trying their best to cover it with the same granulated tissue of the backs of my hands.
“Listen Y/N,” Madja sighed, “I cannot express to you how important it is for you to keep resting. You need to keep these hands bandaged at all times for the foreseeable future. This war is something you may need to take a step back from. You have been through enough.”
I respect Madja, I respect everything she had to say to me, but there was no way. “I can’t simply sit out Madja. Not after what they did to me.” I said back quietly, not letting my gaze meet her’s.
“I was afraid you would say that,” sighed the older female.
“Madja, can I ask you something, personal?” I winced as she applied a balm to the palms of my hands.
“Let me guess, it has to do with that silly Shadowsinger?” She didn’t look up from what she was doing, but I took the invitation anyways.
“How the hell do I put this behind me? This entire Inner Circle has changed since those Acheron sisters entered it. I want to be able to know my friends, my court, is there for me as I am for them.” The words were getting harder and harder to get out of my mouth, but I ventured on, “They left me there, grabbed Elain, and left me there to die.” Tears started flowing then, “I have known them for centuries, and yet, they still chose her over me.” I was slightly embarrassed at my vulnerability with Madja.
She simply continued to wrap my hands after finishing applying the balm and hummed. She let some silence slip on as she thought of a response.
“Y/N, you are right, you have known them for centuries, and Elain not even a cusping a year. You have to understand that that’s why they left you there. They were under duress, either save her, who does not know how to defend herself, or you, who has proved time and time again you can withstand so much.” Madja looked up into my watery eyes and continued, “They were terrified out of their minds when you were up and missing. Cassian did nothing but blame himself. Azriel sent his shadows to all corners of Prythian searching for you.”
I calmed my crying and was only sniffling now as she went on, “They love you Y/N. Even if their misplaced actions are not great at showing it. They may not deserve it right now but consider finding some forgiveness to show them. They are your family.”
I let her words fumble around my mind as she got up and left the tent. As much I want to forgive, I just couldn’t.
---
Before
I was exhausted, truly exhausted. There was a meeting earlier in the day, about strategizing when it came to getting more information on Hybern. I had offered to become an inside agent. To follow Hybern, become one of his soldiers, and send the information back to the Night Court. Rhysand on the other hand had gawked at my offer, and utterly refused it. He then decided to reprimand me, in front of everyone, on how reckless I had been even suggesting such a thing. It was embarrassing.
My mind had been reeling since. I was no use just sitting around, waiting for shit to hit the fan. I wanted to be helpful, I wanted to do something. I was a warrior to this court, an emissary to Dawn. I was no stupid child, like Rhysand had diminished me to during that meeting.
After a day of sulking and my mind reeling, I needed out of the House of Wind. So, I went to one of my favorite places. It was one Azriel had flown me too once. But, I wanted to be alone. Without him to fly me, I’d have to hike there.
A high hill on the outskirts of the city, where the Sidra had broken off into many little streams and creeks. The hill was plush with fresh beautiful grass and a cool evening breeze made the grass sway. Night had fallen by the time I had made it there, to my favorite spot.
Right on time. I told myself as I laid directly into the grass, looking up into the expanse of stars above. It was here I was usually able to find some solace when my mind would wander. Everyone had their burdens to bear, but this place made it seem a little easier. Everything I loved was slipping away from me, I could feel it. That impending feeling of pure dread.
I tried to push it away as I looked up into the stars.
A few hours had gone by when I heard the beating of wings. I sat up in the grass to see Azriel landing on the same long grass, only a few feet from me. I gave Azriel a half smile as I sat up to meet his eyes.
“I was starting to worry about you.” Azriel sighed, playing with his hair as he walked over to me.
“I just needed to get my mind off everything. I didn’t mean to worry you.” Azriel sat down next to me, our knees touching now. “Remember when you brought me here for the first time?” A smile spread across my face for the first time that day.
“Of course I remember it.” Azriel smiled as he reached to take off his jacket. My brows furrowed as he handed it to me.
“What’s this for?” I took the jacket from him. His comforting smell immediately filled my nose. Cedar and the night mist itself.
“Please, I can see your goosebumps from here.” He chuckled as I looked myself over. I had hiked up here during the warm of the evening, only sporting shorts and a short-sleeved leather top I usually dedicated to training. I hadn’t paid much attention to the cold that had slithered its way to my skin while I was trying to sort out my mind.
“Thank you,” I smiled at Azriel. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, he knew me well. I placed the jacket over my own shoulders and placed my gaze on the sky again.
Azriel had joined me, our knees still touching, his wing behind me now. We looked up into the night sky until dawn neared. We didn’t speak, but Azriel’s presence made everything feel lighter somehow.
---
Now
I had made it clear to Madja that I didn’t want any visitors while I was healing. I knew that that would only last so long. I had just finished getting dressed when I heard my tent flap open. Those were not the light steps of Madja. I looked up to see Azriel entering. His wing cramped in the small space.
“Y/N,” his eyes widened at my appearance. While the bandages on my body were covered with clothing, my hands were wrapped out in the open for him to see and my face still held some of the fading bruises. He winced at the sight of my hands.
I looked down, away from him. I went to work on getting my boots on to the best of my capabilities. “I told Madja I wanted no visitors.” I said coldly, still not meeting his eyes.
“It’s been days, I needed to see you. To check on you, myself” Azriel cautiously walked toward me.
I began to fumble with my boots, becoming frustrated at the laces. My healing hands did not have the dexterity they once did, and the bandages were not helping. I began to shake as Azriel’s form got closer. Tears were burning at the back of my eyes. It was evident to both of us that I wasn’t going to get my boots laced up by myself. His stupid, comforting, beautiful scent made its way to me. It was only making me lose whatever composure I was forcing on myself.
“Let me help you,” Azriel all but whispered as he reached to gently grab my hands in his.
My hands.
“Do not touch me.” I breathed out, ripping his closeness away.
He stumbled back, looking shocked. He pulled his wings in closer to himself at my outburst. I could feel him, feel his regret and agony through the bond. Through that annoying, patronizing, tug in the deepest part of my chest.
“Y/N, I care about you, let me help.” His hazel eyes were pleading now. I could almost see a silver rim aligning them. He looked helpless. I hated seeing him this way, it hurt me to know that I was causing such helplessness. But, how could I just let him in? Not after everything.
I all but laughed at his statement, huffing hair out of my face, I met his eyes, “You don’t care about me,” my voice wavered, “you showed me that when you left me there to die.” I couldn’t help but let my lip quiver.
“Y/N, you have to understand-“ Azriel began to plead, but I would not hear it. I would not silence myself on his account.
“I’ve made my mind up Azriel. If I make it out of this, I’m not going back to the Night Court. I’m leaving.” The statement truly shut him up then. I almost couldn’t believe myself either. But this pain, the pain of knowing I would never be good enough in his eyes. I would never be good enough in the Inner Courts eyes. I had gotten myself taken into Hybern’s clutches, after preaching to Rhysand to let me do more. It was mortifying, I couldn’t even get myself out. I still relied on them even after they left me.
Pathetic.
“You don’t mean that, do you, Y/N?” His face completely fell. His hazel eyes wide, his hair pushed away from his face.
“I do. I can’t stay.” I started to shake my head now, tears finding their way into my face, “You lost me when you left me there. Hell, I fucking lost me in that tent. I lost me.”
“No, Y/N, you haven’t lost anything, please.” Azriel was pleading now, I turned from him. I couldn’t stomach the sight of him on top of his emotions flowing through the bond. “Please, listen to me. I lost it when you were missing. Cassian did too. Even Rhysand.” He took slow steps toward me. “I was ordered into that camp by Rhysand to get Elain, I had no idea that you would be there too.” He swallowed before nervously continuing, “We couldn’t grab you both, it was going to be impossible. I know you, I knew you could handle another day, and then we’d be back to get you, better prepared that time.”
It made sense, really, but it didn’t cut it. “That’s not good enough.” I finally met his eyes again. Mad, this time. “I was strung up. Beaten. Cut up. With no powers whatsoever thanks to their Fae Bane knives. I was dying, and you left me there. So, no Azriel, those words are not good enough.”
He opened his mouth to retort something, but a noise of the tent opening behind him cut him off. Peering over his broad shoulders and wings, Cassian was at the entrance of the tent. He was fully armored, weapons in tow, and concern was etched in all corners of his face.
“I hate to break up the reunion, but we have to go. Now. Hybern is moving in.” Cassian was on edge with his words, unknowing of the conversation that was at hand. I hated that seeing him gave me some ounce of relief as well.
With his words, I grabbed for my weapons. A sword, sheathed at my hip, and my bow and quivers strapped to my back. The set that Az had gifted me all that time ago.
Azriel grabbed my arm as I tried to move past him, “Madja told you to sit this out.” His eyes now were full of passion, his touch was unmoving, but light. At the contact my heart fluttered again. That bond sung between us, but only I could feel it.
I ripped my arm from his touch, no matter how badly I wanted to give into it.
“I’ll see you on the battlefield, Azriel.”
---
Before
Starfall was always one of my favorite times of the year. To just spend time with my family, to share gifts, drinks, and even dances. It had gotten late, the festivities finally winding down, and everyone going to their rooms.
I wanted a final look off the balcony before fully retiring. The present giving and gifting had gone great, everyone enjoying the gifts that had been gifted. I also loved the pieces of jewelry, the books, and even the apron, that Feyre, had gifted me, knowing how much I like to cook.
The midnight blue gown followed my footsteps out. It truly was beautiful. Backless, long, shimmering, Mor had gotten it for me, and of course dolled me up to go along with it. It wasn’t often that I got this way. Only when we had to take trips to the Hewn City or other Court business to attend to. My hair was curled and draped across my back. Light makeup littered my face as well.
I was leaning against the balcony railing when I heard those tall tale footsteps. I knew that if I was hearing them then he would want me to know he was there. I turned around and met Azriel’s gaze. He was stunning. In an all-black suit, but still sporting his blue syphons. I tried to hold back my blush at his appearance.
He walked towards me, a large, wrapped box in hand. I had already given Azriel his gift. I wrapped a leather journal, and a custom-made dagger, with a necklace that had Ramiel engraved on its pendant. He had thanked me, and did not give me one in return.
I guess he is now.
Azriel approached and handed me the large, slim box.
“What is this Az?” I took the wrapped package from him.
“Open it,” he nodded his head to it, “I wanted to give this to you privately.”
I smiled up at him and reached for the wrapping. Carefully, I unwrapped the box. Once completely unwrapped, I opened the box itself. Inside adored the most magnificent bow and quiver I had ever set my eyes on. I lit up at the sight of it.
“Az, this is amazing. Was this made in Dawn?” I took the bow and quiver from inside the box and admired it. Felt them in my hands, the beautifully intricate wooden long bow, with engravings from top to bottom. The quiver made of a light leather material, fashioned with some kind of fur on the strap.
“Yes, Thesan helped me find it himself.” Azriel put his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish.
“Thesan himself, thank you,” I gathered the bow and quiver and gently set them down. Then, I reached for Az, my arms stretching around his neck. I buried my head into his collarbone. His arms found their way around my waist, and his head on top of mine. “You remember when I first came to Night? Nothing but my old bow strapped to my back?” I smiled into his chest.
“And it broke, on one of our first missions together. You hit that poor male right over the head with it,” he quipped, bringing one of his hands to the back of my head, patting down my hair.
“Thank you, Azriel, thank you.” I told him again. That bow meant so much to me. It reminded me so much of who I used to be.
---
Now
My hands were in no shape to be in a battle. It was nothing like I had ever seen before. Carnage was raining down everywhere. When I wasn’t striking with a sword, I was shooting with my bow. I was going to bring down anyone in my way.
Pain or not.
Sweat was beading down my forehead, and my back. The bandages on my hands were in ribbons, blood staining what remained. My hands made it difficult. I had to adjust to the sloughing skin and ignore what pain I felt jarring up from them to my arms and shoulders.
Rage fueled me as I made my way around the battlefield. Rage for myself not being good enough to save that first night. Rage for my family, who was scattered across the grounds. Rage for falling in love with Azriel. Rage for my unreturned bond screaming in my chest.
Screaming. It was screaming in my chest. A punch to the chest made me stagger back. I grimaced and looked up to my attacker, but no one was there.
Something was wrong. I scanned the skies.
Where are you?
There. Falling.
He was falling from the sky. A scream pierced my throat as the sight. He hit the ground on a hill above the main field being fought in. All my instincts were shouting at me to go to him. The bond was crying at me to go to him. So that’s what I did. Whether I was pissed or not, I could not lose him. Not like this.
I ran, taking out everyone in my way. My body was close to giving in, not fully recovered from my time with Hybern. The pain in my hands continued to radiate through me with every swing of my sword and draw of my bow.
I crested the hill to see Azriel had propped himself up against a tree. His head was lying back, and he gripped the side of his abdomen. I could see the blood from here. A naga was closing in on him.
The bond in my chest thrummed and hurt. It was pain, Azriel’s pain that I was feeling. Panic surged in my bones.
I pulled my bow from my back, skin ripping on my fingers as I drew. I aimed at the fast-moving creature and with a yell released my arrow. I was moving on instinct. No different than hunting for a meal.
It hit its mark. The naga slumped over not more than 10 feet from him.
Ignoring the blood dripping from me, I rushed to him.
He had blood running down his brow. His hair was strewn everywhere. His wings were limp at his sides. Limp. His breathing was ragged. His hazel eyes were shut, pain corroded his face. Even the gold of his skin was damped. I reached for his cheek, feeling his clammy skin. My other hand found his shirt and lifted to see his wound.
It was gaping, there was so much blood. Muscle was torn, ripped open.
“Az, Az, tell me what happened,” I begged him. He only lulled his head further against the tree in response.
The bond, it was fading.
Pure fear burned through me. If that bond was fading, that meant…
I gripped him by his shoulders and shook as hard as I could, “You cannot do this to me! You cannot leave me!” My voice was raw from the hours of battle, my entire being felt like it was being ripped in two.
“Cassian! Rhysand!” I belted at the top of my lungs, praying that someone would hear me over the carnage.
I again reached for his abdomen, placing as much pressure as I possibly could on his wound. He winced in response. Good, that’s good.
“Az, Az listen to me.” The bond was flickering now. “Get up. Get your ass up!” I reached for his end, tugged at it as hard as I possibly could, but I was met with a wall. Terror, true terror overcame me.
The Night Court might have been where I lived, but Azriel was my home. I was losing my home.
There was so much blood. Blood.
That’s when it hit me. I reached for a blade that was fastened to his belt. I didn’t hesitate when I sliced into my arm, deep enough to get good blood flow.
“I’m so sorry Azriel.” I cried as I put my arm to his lips, forcing his mouth open, and the warm sticky liquid into it. “I wish I loved you less,” I sobbed, forcing more into his mouth, “I wish you weren’t my stupid, fucking, mate.”
Saying it out loud, even if he wasn’t in a state to understand, made my heart stand still. Lightheaded, I moved from in front of him. I sat next to him, holding a hand on his abdomen, and a hand on my still bleeding arm.
I couldn’t scream for help anymore, not with the dizziness that clouded me.
So, I sat, holding our bleeding wounds together.
Slowly, I began to feel his end of the bond knit itself back together. Breathing was a little easier when I realized this. He was healing then. It worked.
I looked up from our battered state to see a red blur moving toward us.
Cassian, thank the gods.
He landed on the hilltop and ran to us, taking in our current predicament. Azriel started to stir at the sound of his brother approaching.
Cassian kneeled down, taking my arm in his hand, and staring between Az and I.
“I leave you two alone for an hour and you guys decide it’s a good time to die?!” His voice was rough.
“I don’t know that now is the time to joke around, Cass.” I winced as I sat up toward him. “I’m okay, but Az..”
“Where did all this blood come from?” Cassian said gazing over Azriel’s entire form, panic lacing his voice.
“I saw him fall, when I got to him, he was down, bleeding from his abdomen.” I lifted Az’s shirt to show Cass. The wound had started to close together thanks to his quickened state of healing.
“What about the blood on his face?” Cassian was looking him over for injuries.
My heart hammered. How do I just admit it? Out loud, for anyone to hear this time. It was a fact that I had held so close to myself for so long. I had pinned after Azriel for years now, in silence. I was nothing more than a friend to him, while I fell in love with him.
“Y/N?” He looked over at me again, panic danced around me. “What happened?” His face turned stone cold.
“I.. he’s..” I trailed off, swallowing my fear. I looked into Cassian eyes, more tears somehow finding their way onto mine, “he’s my mate. It was the only way I could save him.” It was almost a whisper as the words left my tongue.
---
Taglist: (sorry if I missed anyone)
@saltedcoffeescotch @thirstyroses-world @kingshitonly @spidersfrommars15 @mariahoedt @missromantasy @breadsticks2004 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @vhjlucky13 @helo1281917 @i-am-infinite @emptyporsche @quiet-loser @watermelomsuger @anxious-cactus @rcarbo1 @latinxbipride @chelsiemp @lilah-asteria @yeonalie @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @marina468 @kennedy-brooke @myromanempiree @craftytrashprincess @fairydustblossom @st4r-girl-official @darkbloodsly @kitsunetori @historygeekqueen @ivy-34 @optimisticbabydreamer @fightmedraco @maruiin @thefandomplace @bxtchopolis @annamariereads16 @whosmys @toobsessedsstuff
#acotar x reader#acotar#acotar fanfic#acotar fanfiction#acotar fic#azriel acotar#azriel angst#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel x reader#azriel fanfic#azriel x reader angst#azriel x you
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being pro hero eraserheads full time babysitter.
when agreeing to take on eri full time he didn’t quite realise how often he would be forced to leave her alone- forcing him to drop her off with friends or call someone at all hours in the morning to pick her up.
the hours began to increase and he knew this situation wasn’t good for her- she shouldn’t be seeing a new face everynight.
he needed a babysitter. and off on the hunt he went.
it began after he took one look at your profile on some job app and decided you were the perfect fit, there was no picture on the photo- no age for him to go on.
your quirk was listened as a canceling quirk- having the ability to stop the use of a persons quirk by simply touching them.
it was incredibly strong- and perfect for the type of work you did.
you had specialised in teaching children with unstable quirks- often putting yourself in danger to be able to help those who needed it most.
you accepted the position immediately- it beginning as an on-call night job whenever he required.
you were beyond happy to help- it also helped that the hourly rate was nearly as much as you made in a day.
the first time you babysat you didn’t see him- walking into the house to find a man with blonde hair who you didn’t recognise-
after forcing him to prove to you his relationship with the family he quickly made his way out- face red and clearly impressed you had been so protective of eri already.
the nights you spent with eri were easy- it wasn’t until your third time babysitting you actually met eraserhead.
normally you would sleep in the quest room when you stayed over- leaving in the morning before heading to ur teaching job.
you found yourself never crossing paths with the man who seemed to go straight to bed after coming home in the early hours of the morning.
tonight however was different- he’d came home earlier than expected.
it was near 11pm when you heard the rattling of the door- immediately snapping you up from your place on the couch.
preparing for the worst you brace yourself when the door finally opens- only to reveal a very tired looking eraserhead.
he sounds surprised to see you- as if he’s not paying you an insane amount to be there.
the first meeting is awkward- he makes tired small talk before he sends you home early and thanks you for your hard work.
his mind is in shambles when you leave- yes mic had said you were pretty but holy shit.
your younger than him- maybe by a couple years. seeing your work history he had assumed you had been working with children for alot longer than he had.
you took his breath away. the way you were so ready to protect eri had his heart swelling and seeing you in comfortable clothes had his heart beating a little faster- he almost regrets sending you home.
he tells mic about it immediately in work the next day- his friend only laughs at his little crush on his babysitter. giving a quick “told you so.”
he makes an effort to get home earlier now- your asleep most of the time when he gets in, he begins going into the quest room to look at you check on you before he heads to bed.
you begin to realise that he has started doing handover with you- noticing how he struggles to keep eye contact with you, how the tips of his ears go a little red everytime you get closer to him.
you notice how his stare lingers a little too long on your thighs- how his eyes snap between your cleavage and the wall.
he can’t remember the last time he was intimate with someone- it’s been over a year at this point.
he tries to blame his current lack of a sex life for his infatuation with you, he excuses his teenage like crush on the fact it’s been awhile- he’s sure once he gets some this feeling in his chest when he sees you will go away.
it doesn’t though- he tries to sleep with someone! but he doesn’t get past awkward bar flirting before he’s heading home to you- the smell of alcohol on his breath.
he doesn’t know why he does it- why he invites you to have a drink with him- why he sits right next to you on the couch. it just feels right.
the feeling he’d been looking for all night suddenly explodes in his stomach when he sits next to you- attraction, intimacy, lust.
he can’t remember the last time he’s wanted someone this badly. he shouldn’t though- your eri’s babysitter and a perfect one at that.
you get increasingly drunk as the night goes on- drifting into conversation about your teaching jobs and his pro-hero life.
the atmosphere is intense- feelings sitting on the tip of his tongue as he looks at you- taking in the way your lips wrap around the beer bottle he’d handed you. god.
suddenly he’s inviting you to move in with him- it completely shocks you both as it leaves his lips. a moment of silence is created before he begins to stutter out his explanation.
your here almost everynight anyway? the spare room is basically yours- the drawers filled with your own belongings.
it would mean you’d see eri more- (and him)
it doesn’t take long to convince you in your drunken state- eyeing him suspiciously as he helps you put ur apartment up for sale- you’d probably regret this in the morning.
he celebrates you moving in with him with a kiss-
it doesn’t take you by surprise- your no idiot.
you’d seen the way the older man had looked at you the first night he met you- you’d noticed it straight away.
you had began wearing more revealing clothing around him weeks ago- putting on pretty sleepwear when you’d found out he had been watching you sleep.
he thinks he’s won here- he’s gotten you drunk and coerced you into moving in with him, you can’t back out now.
he doesn’t know that this had been your plan from the start- that your belongings in your home have been packed for days.
he’d played right into your trap- you had decided on the first night you met him you were going to have him- and now you finally did.
#bnha#mha#mha x reader#fanfiction#bnha x reader#mha x female reader#mha fanfiction#mha x reader smut#eraserhead#eraserhead x reader#aizawa shota x reader#mha aizawa#bnha aizawa#aizawa x reader#aizawa shouta
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Incompatible | Part One
Eris Vanserra x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: none
Summary: Y/N Archeron was a human living in the land of the fae. For her own protection, the Inner Circle keeps her in Velaris, safe and protected. One day, Azriel invites her to a meeting after seeing her close into herself more and more. There she meets the one who flips her whole life upside down.
A/N: This is a request from @talesofadragon , thank you so much for sending it in, it definitely helped with my writers block :) also this will have a second part and possibly a third so keep an eye on for those soon!
A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist
•••
Y/N Archeron remembered the day she returned to the house her two younger sisters lived in and found it completely destroyed. It had only been three months since she had last visited as making the journey across the human lands was a tiring one that Y/N did not make very often. Far from the village her sisters lived in, Y/N lived mostly alone with a large stretch of farmlands and woodlands. The closest neighbour to her was nearly a mile down the road. But Y/N liked that, she liked the peace living on the farm brought her.
After she moved when she was freshly eighteen, Y/N sent most of her earnings to her family and lived off of the bare minimum. But she was happy, probably happier than she had been in a while.
Now years on from that, at twenty-eight, Y/N continued to sit at the table in the town house and watched the world go by. She tried to concentrate on her book or anything else but she couldn’t, her mind was elsewhere. It always was this past year. Occasionally someone would walk by but Y/N made no effort to make conversation. All she wanted to do was leave the damned house.
Y/N was only a human living in the land of the fae. When she first arrived, she was happy. She was back with her sisters and she was in a new place to explore. At first, Rhys allowed her to walk the streets of Velaris, browsing the shops and market stalls. Soon that transitioned to her needing an escort wherever she went and very soon after that, it turned into Y/N being locked up in whatever house everyone decided that week. Today was the town house. She knew that her family were only looking out for her and only wanted to protect her. After all, Y/N was not immortal. She was not fae. She could bruise easily, was far weaker than anyone else around her.
Y/N sighed yet again and threw the book in her hands to the floor. She didn’t understand why she was here anymore. Y/N knew that she was of no use to anyone around her, she felt more like an inconvenience if anything. They should have just taken her back to her own damned farm.
“Hey,” Azriel said, approaching the eldest Archeron. “I came to check on you.”
“Of your own free will or because you were forced to?” Y/N snapped back. She instantly felt guilty. Since she was brought to Velaris, Azriel had been nothing but kind to her. They all had but he was the only one who had gone out of his way to talk with her everyday. Her sisters had stopped doing that when they had either begun their own families or had gone travelling.
“My own free will if you really want to know,” Azriel said and sat down in the chair next to hers. He glanced down at the book on the floor. “Did the book really deserve that?”
“It probably deserved a lot more than that,” Y/N said, bringing her legs up onto the chair. She looked back out of the window.
Azriel sighed. “Y/N, look, I know that you don’t want to be here–”
“What gave you that impression?” Y/N interrupted.
Azriel simply ignored her. “But you are safe here.”
“I could have been safe at my farm,” Y/N said. “There was no need to bring me here. Feyre and Nesta are both busy with their families to sit with me anymore. Elain is busy travelling the continent with Lucien. I don’t have any friends here–”
“I am your friend, Y/N,” Azriel interrupted her. “And all we are trying to do is protect you. The whole of Prythian knows that there is another Archeron sister and they all know that you are human. If anyone were to get to you, it would put you as well as your sisters in danger. Because you know that they would do anything to get you back safe.”
Y/N sighed. “I know but this is not a life, Azriel. All I do is sit indoors and waste away. I am not even allowed to go outside anymore. Whenever there is a meeting happening, I am sent away to the furthest possible room. I feel like a prisoner, Azriel. You may not see it, but it is how I feel.”
Azriel sighed and stood up.
“Where are you going?” Y/N said.
“To a meeting,” Azriel answers.
Y/N huffed and turned back to the window. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. “Have fun.”
Y/N expected to hear Azriel’s retreating footsteps but she didn’t. Slowly she turned her head and found him standing there, his hand outstretched.
“What?” Y/N asked.
“Are you coming or not?” Azriel asked.
Hope lit up Y/N’s heart. “You’re serious?”
“Deadly,” Azriel said.
Y/N stood up and threw her arms around the shadowsinger, nearly knocking him off balance. “What will the others say?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Azriel said. “If they say anything, let me deal with it.”
“Thank you!” Y/N exclaimed, pulling back from Azriel.
Azriel chuckled. “Don’t thank me yet. You are going to hate it once you realise how boring these meetings are.”
“I don’t care,” Y/N said as Azriel began to lead her to the meeting hall. “As long as I can actually be involved in something, I’ll find entertainment in anything.”
As soon as Azriel opened the door to the meeting hall, all eyes were on her. Y/N didn’t shrink away, she lifted her chin and looked around proudly. There weren’t many in the room at all, in fact there was only one new face amongst everyone else. Y/N studied him and, upon inspection, decided that he was the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. His copper hair sat neatly on top of his head, a singular strand falling across his forehead. His fashion sense was immaculate and Y/N wanted to study the embroidery on his jacket up close.
As Y/N moved her gaze back to the man’s face, she found him looking at her, a smirk pulling at his lips. Y/N gave him a small smile.
A chair scraped across the floor, drawing Y/N’s attention away.
“Azriel, what is she doing here?” Rhys asked, his voice low and deadly as he spoke to Azriel.
“I thought she could sit in on a meeting,” Azriel shrugged, pulling out a chair for Y/N. One directly across from the handsome man. “You and everyone else made Y/N read books on fae politics, so I thought she could see a political meeting in person.”
Rhys tried to remain calm but Y/N could easily see the anger and tension slipping through the cracks.
Cassian was the next to speak up. “Az is right Rhys. Y/N must learn about all of this at some point. And there’s nothing like the present.”
Rhys’s gaze hardened on Cassian before he turned back to face Y/N. He offered her a small, barely there smile. “Very well.”
The stares of her two sisters burned into Y/N as she looked down at the table. Y/N hadn’t seen Feyre and Nesta in at least three weeks, but Y/N had to admit that by fae standards, three weeks was not a long time. But to Y/N it was, especially when there was barely anything she could do to pass the time.
The chair next to Y/N scraped across the floor and Azriel sat down next to her. Y/N turned her head to look at him.
Thank you, she mouthed.
Azriel gave her a small nod before he turned his attention to Rhys as he began to speak up. Y/N had to admit to herself that she did not find any of what Rhys was saying particularly interesting, but she still felt glad to finally be included in something.
The meeting felt like it had drawled on forever and Y/N had learnt to block everyone out. Though, if Y/N had to admit to herself, whenever the man with copper hair spoke, she found herself tuning into the conversation just to hear his voice. Not only was he the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on, his voice was the most beautiful she had ever heard. Y/N wasn’t sure if one could fall in love with the sound of someone’s voice but she already had.
Y/N shuffled in her chair and finally looked up from where she was looking at the small crack in the table. Her back ached from her lack of movement and the uncomfortable seat she had found herself in. The sun outside had begun to go down, casting the room in a faint orange glow. The expression on Y/N’s face saddened as she looked at the sunset. All she wanted to do was go outside and bask in the sun on her own. She wanted her own place to live without the constant feeling of being babysat. All Y/N wanted was her own life back.
Cassian cleared his throat and it interrupted Y/N from her own thoughts. As she zoned back in, she made eye contact with the handsome man again. He was looking directly at her, a gleam in his eyes that seemed like…concern. Y/N didn’t avert her gaze. Something within her made her not want to look away. She was swimming in his eyes and she would happily drown if she had no other choice.
The corner of the man’s mouth twitched and Y/N couldn’t help but mimic that movement, fighting the urge to smile. Nothing had made her smile properly in a while but just simply from looking at this man, she wanted to smile, share that experience with him. Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line and averted her gaze, only for a quick second. As her eyes met the man’s once more, a small smile pulled at his lips.
“Eris,” Rhys interrupted and the man reluctantly looked away from Y/N.
“What?” The man, now known to Y/N as Eris, said sharply. “Sorry, what did you say?”
Rhys’s gaze flicked between Eris and Y/N and his gaze darkened the smallest amount. “I asked you if there was anything else you wished to discuss.”
Eris leaned back in his chair. “Actually there is one thing. I would like to know the name of the beautiful woman I have not been introduced to yet.”
Rhys rolled his eyes. “Her name is–”
Eris held up his hand, cutting Rhys off. “Ah, I did not ask you for her name.” Eris turned his attention to Y/N. “I would like her to introduce herself.”
Y/N briefly glanced at her sisters. Their expressions did not give away much but for some reason Y/N had a feeling that neither of them wanted her to introduce herself. It only made Y/N want to do it more.
Y/N plastered a bright smile on her face as she faced Eris once more. “I’m Y/N Archeron.”
“Y/N,” Eris repeated, her name sounding like poetry on his tongue. “A beautiful name to match such a woman.”
Y/N’s smile only brightened.
“Now all introductions are over, I will see you out, Eris,” Rhys said.
“I can see myself out Rhysand,” Eris replied, standing from his chair. “Although I would not complain if the beautiful Y/N walked me out.”
Y/N felt Eris’s eyes bore into hers and she couldn’t help the heat that rose to her cheeks.
“I–” Y/N began to speak but she was cut off by Rhys.
“She will not escort you out, Eris,” Rhys said.
“I’m sure Y/N can speak for herself, Rhysand,” Eris said, his eyes not leaving Y/N’s.
Reluctantly, Y/N shifted her gaze from Eris to Rhys. The High Lord’s violet eyes hardened and Y/N knew exactly what that look meant. It was a warning. Y/N then looked at her two sisters. Feyre did not seem to mind as she slightly nodded at Y/N. Nesta only looked at Rhys’s annoyed expression in amusement. Y/N looked at Cassian and Azriel. While they didn’t say anything, the protective look in their eyes said enough. Though as her gaze met Azriel’s he shrugged. Do what you want, his look seemed to say. It doesn’t mean that I need to like it.
Y/N turned back to face Eris. “I’ll escort you out.”
Instead of a smirk, Eris plastered a pleasant smile upon his handsome face. Y/N pushed back her chair, it scraped loudly against the floor. She could feel the eyes of everyone on her yet she was only focused on one. As she walked around the table to meet Eris, he offered her his arm. Y/N took it gracefully, feeling the hard muscle beneath his jacket.
As soon as they were outside of the meeting room, Y/N let out a long breath. She looked at Eris to find him already looking at her.
“I can feel how suffocated you are,” Eris said, his eyebrow knitting together in concern. “I know the feeling all too well myself.”
Y/N sighed. “This is honestly the first time I have ever been allowed to do anything on my own in a long time.”
“I cannot imagine how that must feel,” Eris said. “If I were in your shoes, I would simply run for the hills.”
Y/N’s lips twitched. “Don’t you think I’ve thought of doing that?”
“I don’t see why you don’t,” Eris said, as they finally stepped outside. Y/N lingered in the threshold of the doors. Eris’s concern seemed to heighten. “How long has it been since you have been outside?”
“Well only a few days since I moved from the House of Wind to here,” Y/N said. “But actually being outside and feeling the sun on my skin, quite a while.”
Eris scoffed. “Moved around? You are not a piece of furniture.You are a human being.”
“Exactly,” Y/N replied. “A human being. I am not fae. I am not safe if I am to live and walk around in daylight.”
“That is no way to live,” Eris said.
“It is the way I have been living for nearly four years now,” Y/N said.
“Well why don’t you and I change that,” Eris said, trailing his hand down Y/N’s arm to intertwine their fingers together. Y/N smiled as she felt his warm palm against hers. “Step out into the sun with me.”
“But it is sunset,” Y/N commented.
“It is said that that is when the sun looks the most beautiful,” Eris replied, nodding his head in the direction of the large hill obscuring their view of the sunset. “We will get a perfect view just up there.”
“I don’t know,” Y/N said, stepping back from Eris, though she didn’t release his hand. She didn’t want to release his hand. The warmth she felt from it was unlike any other.
“Don’t do that,” Eris said softly.
“Do what?” Y/N asked.
“Shrink into yourself,” Eris said, lightly pulling her so she stood close to him. “Come with me. It is only over the hill after all. I can walk you back here safely after.”
Eris’s expression held no ill intent and deep down Y/N already knew that for reasons she couldn’t explain. Y/N nodded her head slowly. A wide smile spread across Eris’s face and Y/N couldn’t help herself but smile back. His smile was infectious.
Together they stepped out of the townhouse and Eris led her further away from the building. Y/N’s eyes lit up as she felt the warm sun on her skin. They stopped at the top of the hill as Y/N’s eyes widened in wonder. It had been a while since she had seen such a beautiful sight.
“I have to admit that this sight is rather beautiful,” Eris commented. “But the sights in Autumn are even better.”
Y/N turned her attention to Eris. “Perhaps I can see them one day?”
Eris smiled. “I would happily take you now if you wanted.”
The smile fell from Y/N’s face. She glanced back towards the townhouse. “I would love that, but…”
Eris glanced at the house. “They won’t let you.”
“It is their way of making sure I am protected, though I just feel trapped all the damn time,” Y/N said. “I hate feeling useless and that my life has no meaning. I rarely see my sisters because they are busy with their own families or travelling. I am not even allowed to train to pass the time, I am considered too delicate apparently, even for the training dummies. I just want to finally leave this court. I want to go back to my farm.”
“Your farm?” Eris asked.
“Before my sisters were turned into fae, I lived on my own farm hundreds of miles away. I sent most of the money I made to my sisters. I lived on the basics but I was happy,” Y/N explained. “I would kill to go back there.”
“Why don’t you?”
“Well everyone inside of that house for starters but by now I am sure it is run down. I didn’t have anyone to help out on the farm, only the occasional person passing through if they were in need of work,” Y/N explained. “I am sure that it is not the cosy home it used to be by now and if I’m being honest, I do not have the motivation to even think about remodelling it.”
“What if you had help?” Eris suggested.
A small smile creeped onto Y/N’s face. “Eris, are you offering to help me?”
“Perhaps I am,” Eris replied, taking a small step closer. “And if I was, Y/N Archeron, what would your answer be?”
“I would say–”
“Y/N!” Rhys called from the townhouse.
Y/N rolled her eyes and turned to look at Rhys. He stood in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. Y/N sighed. “I should get back inside now.”
As Y/N went to take a step back but Eris gently gripped her hand. “I take it that it would be impossible to convince you to come with me.”
“It wouldn’t be impossible to convince me,” Y/N said. “But convincing the Inner Circle to allow me out of sight is near impossible.”
Eris briefly looked at Rhys before looking back at Y/N. “Maybe I can convince them.”
Y/N laughed. “I’d like to see you try.”
“I take that as a challenge,” Eris smirked. “Mark my words, Y/N, that by this time three days from now, I will get you out of that house.”
Y/N linked her fingers through Eris’s. “Well I cannot wait until you do.”
Eris lifted her hand and pressed his lips against her knuckles. “I will look forward to seeing you again, Y/N.”
“Y/N,” Rhys said, interrupting Y/N from responding.
��Rhys,” Y/N greeted.
Rhys turned to Eris. “I see that my sister-in-law has escorted you out, maybe it is time for you to take your leave, Eris.”
“I was just leaving,” Eris replied, a gleam in his eye. “I have a very important letter to write tonight.”
Eris slipped his hand away from Y/N’s but Y/N found herself wanting to take his once more. The immediate coolness that wrapped around her hand was far from pleasant and she missed the warmth Eris provided.
“I will see you very soon, Y/N,” Eris said, that gleam still shining brightly in his eyes. He turned on his heel and walked away without turning back. The light shone on his copper hair and Y/N wanted nothing more than to follow him.
Rhys offered his arm to Y/N. “Let’s get back inside.”
“Before someone sees?” Y/N replied sharply. She walked ahead of Rhys the short distance to the town house. Though she felt a fluttering in her stomach and waited in anticipation to see if Eris’s words would come true.
#acotar#acotar x reader#a court of thorns and roses#eris vanserra#eris vanserra x reader#eris x reader#eris acotar
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"Nesta favors Elain"
Everyone favors Elain! And most of all Feyre.
If you want to point the finger at Nesta, don't use that argument. Don't complain about how differently Nesta treats her sisters because in reality, Feyre might be worse.
“Elain sometimes just… didn’t grasp things. It wasn’t meanness that kept her from offering to help; it simply never occurred to her that she might be capable of getting her hands dirty.” (ACOTAR, ch.2) Elain gets excuses and most importantly, is never even asked to help for anything. If Feyre is going to teach someone archery, it's going to be Nesta. She needs wood to be chopped, it's going to be Nesta.
When Lucien accompanied her back to the Night Court, he asked her about Elain and says he wants to see if she's worth fighting for. (To each their own opinion on the matter). Feyre doesn't respond but thinks so. Later on, when Cassian flies her to the House of Wind and they talk about Nesta and how he comes to see her every other day, Feyre asks : “Why do you bother, Cassian?” Elain is worth it but Nesta isn't?
When the sisters are moved to the townhouse, rooms have to be picked. “And a third for Lucien — on our side of the hall. Well away from Elain’s.” (ACOWAR, ch.24) Because Elain staying away from her mate whom she hasn't yet said she wants nothing to with is fine and perfectly understandable. But when Nesta says over and over and over again how she wants nothing to do with Cassian, she's just going to have to suck it up and be locked in a house with him.
Rhys, being true to himself, tells Feyre the bond between Elain and Lucien can be used to ensure his loyalty. “I don’t like that Elain is a pawn in this.” (Feyre in ACOWAR, ch.18) But using Nesta as a pawn to ensure another Vanserra's loyalty, though... As a matter of fact, when dancing with Eris is proposed she even says : “Elain doesn’t go near him.” (ch.55)
In ACOSF, after we learn that Elain will try to find the Trove if Nesta doesn't, Feyre says : “It wasn’t an easy choice for me to ask Elain to endanger herself like this.” (ch.21) But asking Nesta is easy, right? It's been like this forever after all. Feyre was never going to ask Elain to tell her story to the High Lords. Poor thing was depressed. But asking Nesta to put herself in the worst danger possible, even though she was destroying herself just two weeks ago, even though she si still depressed and hurting... Feyre doesn't hesitate then.
Yes, Nesta has her faults. Yes, Nesta has said mean things to her sister. But if we look at the text, at the amount of times Feyre has been unkind to her sister, you'll realize that she is much worse.
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Nights Like This
Armando Aretas x Fem! Reader
Mkay so while yall wait on this pt.3 of The engagement, ima give yall this lil story I been working on! Im ngl I did cut it in half this was long as HELL! So enjoy ❤️
“We should go out tomorrow night. We never do that anymore.", Kelly says grabbing her purse. "Yeah because you and your man are always boo'd up somewhere. Marcus isn't allowed out too many times in a row or Theresa will kick his ass. Mike is happily married now. And I refuse to be a third wheel on you two’s date" I explain.
“So why don't you invite Armando out.", She looks over to Armando who's looking through a case file. Since he helped take down McGrath and saved Callie, Mike tried to sort out a deal for him. He'll work out his sentence, here at AMMO, being apart of the tactical weapons team.
"Um absolutely not. He literally doesn’t know I exist in that way", I groan. "That’s not true. You just gotta make yourself known. Plus he’s kinda a dick. I don't know why you like him anyway.?”,she says damn
near screaming my secret. "Um firstly, shut up. What you wanna tell the whole world my secret?", I shush her. That’s all I fucking need. For Armando to find out I like him or WORSE. Mike and Marcus could find out. I’d never live it down.
"Invite him out or l'm gonna shout it from the rooftops.", Kelly gives an evil smirk.
"Shout what from the rooftops?", Mike looks over to us. "Oh nothing just that Y/n li-", you elbow her in the side. "That Y/n is going out with Kelly and Dorn tomorrow night", you give a tight lipped smile. "I'm so excited I could scream", Kelly smiles.
"Y'all weird as hell man", Mike says just giving the two of you a glance. Kelly lets out a laugh before nodding towards Armando's seat. "No.",you give a stern look.
"Yes!", kelly says seriously. "Fine. I'll do it before I leave later.", you give in, not wanting to discuss it any further.
- Later-
"I'm out, don't stay too long okay", Kelly says patting your shoulder before heading out, quickly shooting a glance over at Armando, signaling you to talk to him.
She heads out, the door closing, being a deafening reminder of how quiet it is since you and Armando are the only ones in the office. The dim lights giving an Erie feel. "Breathe Y/n. Now's the time to go talk to him", You think to yourself.
"Hey."you walk over to him. He looks up at you with a stare that says "what do you want". "Well I just thought that since it's just me and you tonight, we could at least conversate so it won't be absolutely boring", You sit on his desk.
"What do we have to talk about?", He says with that accent that just drives you crazy.
"Well I do technically have something to ask you", You say looking down at him. "There it is", he flashes a smile. "Stop", You roll your eyes.
"Mkay shoot.", He crosses his arms with a smirk.
"Please come with me tomorrow night. Kelly wants me to go out with her and Dorn. And I really don't wanna third wheel.", you plead.
“What’s in it for me?”, he looks up at you, placing the pen in between his plump lips. “What do you want?”,you ask, staring right down at his lips.
“What’re you offering?”, he asks, moving his rolling chair to where he’s sitting in between your legs,staring up at you with this smirk on his face like he just knows what he’s doing to you.
“I..I..uh”,your breath starts to hitch. “Use your words hermosa.”, he glances up at you through low eyes.
He has to know what he’s doing to you right? The only option is to match his energy, even though it’s all a front.
“Mister Aretas, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were flirting with me.”,you snap out of whatever shy shit you just had going on.
“And if I was?”,He traces his finger up your exposed leg. Today was the perfect day to wear a pencil skirt.
The sound of the glass doors creaking open surprises you, causing you to move off the desk swiftly as possible.
“Sorry, I left my house keys”,Marcus walks in, not looking at the two of you.
“Hollup…it’s real dark in here. What yall in here-“,he looks between the two of you. “Nothing we were just talking”,you say quickly. Marcus looks over at Armando who has a condescending smirk upon his face. “Oh okay”,Marcus laughs. “It’s not like that Marcus”,You bury your head in your hands with a laugh.
“Look that ain’t nun of my business. Just make sure you use that latex. Cause you don’t wanna get that I’m late Text!”,he says before dapping Armando up. “What is HAPPENING”, you internally scream to yourself.
Marcus quickly makes his exit, leaving you and Armando to discuss what just happened. “That was embarrassing”,you groan. “It was hilarious”,he laughs. “No it wasn’t”, you lean against the door. “I’ll go with you. I’ve got something to handle before hand though,so I’ll meet you there”,he smiles over at you.
“Okay great. I’m gonna go home. Be safe. I’ll see you tomorrow”,you nervously grab your things before heading out to your car.
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How the Acotar men would react if you broke up with them:
Rhysand: Gaslighting your ass to kingdom come. May or may not manipulate you into getting back together with him.
Tamlin: The original crash out, no one will compare. Tweaking in the comforts of his home but after a couple of hours, he'll calm down. Might write a song about it or two. Will smoke some good weed. Wears baggy clothes and eats ice cream and other sorts of junk food while watching TV and might cry while listening to some music.
Cassian: The second crash out. He's destroying shit, pray for safety. You won't be harmed but your car might be or your house (might toss eggs or toilet paper). Takes him a while to move on but when he does, he'll act like he never did that.
Azriel: You didn't break up with him, he broke up with you. Anyways, this man became so emo. My chemical romance is played non stop. He might manipulate you, idk. He looks like the gaslighter type. "Can we get back together please?" "No." "AHHHH!"
Lucien: He's heartbroken but he won't push your boundaries. You'll most likely still be friends afterwards but if not, he's wishing you the best and hopes that you find the love you're looking for. Me personally, I ain't never gonna dump this man.
Eris: He would act like he doesn't give a damn but deep down, he's hurt. Acting all mopey and becomes dramatic.
Tarquin: Very similar to Lucien in these terms. Nothing but respectful towards you. Why did you even dump him?
Helion: He gives off the vibe of being sad for a while and then going to bang strangers to take the pain of the break up away.
Beron: Why are you with this man??? Get some help, my friend. Jokes aside, he doesn't really care but let's hope he doesn't get some sort of revenge on you.
Jurian: the third crash out. He is somewhat canonically crazy but you can't blame him if you went through what he went through. Vassa and Lucien are by his side a lot.
#acotar#rhysand#tamlin#cassian#azriel#lucien vanserra#eris vanserra#acotar memes#acotar humor#acotar men#acotar shitpost#tarquin#helion acotar#beron vanserra#jurian acotar
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I Bet on Losing Dogs 🐺🔥 || Character Cards 4/5
In a lucky twist of fate, smokewraith-assassin Nesta Archeron becomes the first person to ever attempt killing Beron Vanserra and escape unharmed. Now, the entire Guard chases after her, led by the one and only Autumn Court Heir. But Eris Vanserra doesn’t seek to punish — no, he wants to enlist her help.
Eris’s Card || Nesta’s Card || Sylas’s Card
────୨ৎ────
Meet Marcel Vanserra, the Third Son of Autumn and the Court’s Torturer. Preferring to stay in the deep, dark dungeons beneath the Forest House, Marcel lives out his days doing the work Beron has deemed too dirty to stain his own hands with. Unlike his brother Sylas, though, Marcel doesn’t do his father’s bidding to please him — no, Marcel simply enjoys it.
His unique powers make the work all the more pleasing: instead of the blazing Vanserra fire, Marcel conjures a deadly, sizzling smoke that suffocates everything in its path. It only takes one inhale of Marcel’s smoke for your lungs to blacken in your chest — and oh, does he enjoy letting his victims breathe so freely.
@dusk-muse I hope you love Marcel, who I’ve had so much fun creating! I can’t wait for you to see my favorite little psychopath in action. You can view Part 2 of his Card & a close-up below!
Marcel Vanserra is my OC, please do not use him in any works. Thank you!
@acotargiftexchange
#Sylas was bad but Marcel is so much worse#vanserra oc#oc marcel#acotar gift exchange#neris#eris vanserra#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#myart#velidedraws#queue#ocmarcel
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Can’t Bring Myself To Hate You — Part 18
Azriel x Third-Oldest-Archeron-Sibling!Reader
a/n: pls trust me that some things will be explained in chapter 19 🙇
word count: 7,003
-Part 17- -Part 19-
——————————————————————————————————————————————
Sharp, amber eyes pierce down into the male, despite having less than an inch’s difference in height.
Lucien keeps his surprise under wraps as he greets his oldest brother, stood before the slightly dilapidated building he and his companions have taken up in, a few boards nailed over one of the upper windows that had broken during a particularly vicious storm. He recalls how Jurian had scavenged some of the plain silverware and they’d drawn spoons to see who would have to climb the roof and patch it up before the autumn chill hit. It’s a fond memory, in spite of his loss.
“Eris,” Lucien greets shortly, holding position in blocking the male from strutting straight into his home as he knows the male would, given the chance. Not the building itself, exactly, but the people hidden away inside it, and he’d rather not subject them to another visit unless absolutely necessary. Neither of them are particularly well-equipped against Eris’ kind of verbal espionage, how he hunts the information he seeks and so effortlessly riles them up. Vassa is particularly prone to bursting into a flaming temper whenever the male pays them an unpleasant visit.
“It’s rude to keep a guest waiting, Lucien,” Eris drawls from overside the threshold. Even after all this time he can’t help the instinctive part of him that cringes at the razor sharp tone used to cut into his name, carve it into something jagged and serrated. Perhaps when he was younger he might have returned with ‘it’s rude to show up without invitation’, but he learned long ago it’s best to avoid any kind of verbal conflict with the male. Ultimately it’s tiring and a waste of energy, so instead Lucien offers a mildly withering glare, and asks, “What are you here for?”
Eris’s features remain sharp but blank, unshifting and drawing a clear line in the sand. Another silent demand he’s more than accustomed to, and wishes he wasn’t. “You can’t just show up without prior notice and expect to be escorted in. There are humans inside and you’ll scare them off.”
“That’s fine by me,” Eris replies, his amber eyes silently simmering with inherent arrogance. “Step aside.”
“Don’t order me around,” Lucien replies evenly, not a note of sharpness to be found, but firm and unyielding. “You’re in their lands. Besides, they’ll be leaving shortly. You can wait a few minutes.”
“It’s time sensitive,” Eris replies smoothly, neither having broken the eye contact.
“You can wait a few minutes,” Lucien repeats.
Silence stretches, Eris’ brows narrowing ever so slightly in a frighteningly scathing glare that would have sent him sprinting to his room a few centuries ago. But he’s a grown male now, so he weathers the simmering look, keeping his feet firmly set on the ground, unfaltering in his stance.
Within the silence, both can pick out the shuffle of human footfalls, the conversation that floats throughout the house, only detectable to fae hearing and each brother picks out as they trail further. It’s not until a latch clicks and a bolt is slid into place on the other side of the slightly wrecked estate that either of them shifts, and to Lucien’s invisible astonishment it’s Eris who looks away first. Even if it is to glance at the approaching Vassa over his shoulder, he notes it.
“What’s he doing here?” Vassa questions, a derisive sneer in her tone as she pins the male darkening their doorstep with a look that could turn steak to coal in seconds. Lucien glances to Eris, wondering the same thing—wondering if he’ll answer now the humans have left and he’ll inevitably be allowed in. Sharp amber eyes slice to his own russet one, cutting and demanding, and Lucien bites back a sigh at his oldest brother’s incessant insistence on being obeyed. Even after all these years he’s just as controlling as he always was, though Lucien shouldn’t be surprised—Eris practically thrives in the cutthroat coliseum of the Autumn Court.
Lucien steps aside in the doorway and Eris enters, bringing with him the harsh bite of the cold that’s sharper than it should be in the human lands. The distinct crispness that passes him as Eris strides past the both of them, removing his surprisingly plain cloak in one swift movement and chucking it over one of the hangers without looking. “I have news,” Eris replies vaguely, before striding further into the heart of the house and disappearing out of sight.
Vassa shoots a fierce glare his direction, a slight scowl between her brows. “Did you know he was on his way?” She asks, already looking about ready to try smacking the male across the jaw. But Lucien shakes his head, already resigned to the evening being ruined, knowing her impatience isn’t directed at him. “I’m sober, aren’t I?” He replies wryly, a twist of a demeaning smile on his mouth to cool her flammable temper.
After a long moment of pause, she huffs a laugh, low and raspy, some of the tension relieved from her rigid posture, fiery coloured ringlets jostled slightly from the tremble in her full shoulders. “We’d better go after him,” she says, a little more amused than she was previously, though that amusement dims swiftly at the thought of having to deal with more of the male’s unnecessary and underhanded jabs. Lucien nods, sighing once more before steeling himself, knowing he will inevitably end up in the position of mediator as he always does when people lose their calm, following after her.
“And just when the cards were finally about to come out,” she mutters under her breath, and Lucien can practically see the scowl that has already worked itself back between her fiery brows, “I was looking forward to wiping the floor with Jurian.”
The comment has his nostrils flaring delicately as mirth curves his mouth, lips twitching faintly. Between the three of them, Vassa is almost constantly on a losing streak, while Jurian frequently takes them for all they’re worth. He supposes it shouldn’t be as surprising as it is—Jurian’s mortality is debatable at best, an unverifiable grey area at worst.
“Maybe we can fit in a few rounds after,” Lucien suggests as they make their way through the hallways, headed to the sitting room where the meetings most frequently take place. “The mood will probably be in need of some friendly competition.”
“Friendly?” Vassa repeats sardonically, pausing just outside the door to the living room. “Those games are nothing short of bloodthirsty. Treating them so lightheartedly is why you never win.”
Lucien refrains from reminding her that she has yet to go on a single winning streak against either of them.
————
You shift uneasily in your seat, pulling the silk of the scarf a little tighter, making sure no patchy flesh will slip out from beneath the fine covering. Especially not over a meal.
The comment springs to the forefront of your mind, rising like the sediment that’s stirred up upon a stone being dropped into the murky bottom of a lake. You know you’ll never be first choice. You’ll never have someone who’d choose you over everyone else, and if you’re honest with yourself it wouldn’t be that bad. You’ve survived this long without being someone’s first choice, so what’s changed?
What’s changed?
A cold feels skates delicately beneath your speckled flesh at the imposing question, impossibly vast and inconceivably nuanced. So much has changed in the past two years it would be unreasonable to try and tackle it now, without even a paper and pen to aid you in the coherency of your thoughts. But maybe it’s a place to start—some small ideas to help take those opening steps, like how freshly born deer totter around on their delicate hooves, on thin, gangly legs before learning to leap and bound.
So, you ask yourself again: What’s changed?
Had it bothered you before that you weren’t first choice? Had you known you weren’t anyone’s first choice—yes, somewhere, but you hadn’t figured it out yet. Perhaps that’s why the comment stung, that you were robbed of making the discovery yourself, red-painted nails having clawed over the stone, carving scratches into the previously smooth surface, permanently tarnished and disheveled.
No, thinking back, you’ve been first choice before. When you were eight, nine-ish, when you’d run down and about in the garden with Feyre who at that point couldn’t keep up with you yet. When you’d leap over tree stumps and balance on fallen trunks, sticking your arms out unevenly and watching with a strange sense of pride as Feyre doddered behind you, mimicking your stance and holding her own arms out as she made the trek over the mossy trunk.
Then you’d gotten older, and left Feyre to play in the gardens, in the forest, by herself. Then you’d become closer with Elain a bit before your teens, the two of you often joined at the hip at parties, Nesta bearing down on the few who tried to approach, warding off any unwanted company with her fearsome countenance. You think you’d been one another’s choices then, when your mother would dress you up in complimentary fabrics, selecting patterns that would work well with one another, with little regard for the young girls she was dressing up—her own daughters.
You like to think it had been you and Elain sticking together, in those last few years when your mother was around.
That’s what’s changed.
You’re surrounded by people who have found one another.
And now your loneliness is starker than ever, yet you hadn’t even really realised it. How Feyre has Rhys and Nyx, Nesta has found Cassian, and even Elain is finding her way with Lucien. They’re the closest you’ve ever been with other people, and the closest you’ll get to other people. But they’ve all found someone else now, and you’re the odd one out. Of course you’d be the one without a mating bond, or whatever the special connection is that they were all afforded.
You’re reminded of the confession you’d let slip in the midst of your fumbling mouth back in the library all that time ago. How you’d thought maybe…possibly there was a reason you’d felt a click with him. But you suppose you should have known better. You can’t even pretend that he was leading you on, in hindsight. It was obvious he was interested in Elain, and yet you’d thought… How stupid. And to tell him, too. To want something so sacred to them, and to wish it between yourself and him. All from wanting to be first.
It shouldn’t matter to not be first, and yet it’s starkly painful. You can’t help but want that place. Wanted it so desperately you’d fooled yourself into seeing interest when in reality there was, just none for you.
Your eyes traitorously stray from the small details on the rim of your porcelain plate—tiny ink drops of blue, red, and orange dotted about the edge—to the empty seat to your left, at one head of the table.
Why had you ever made the mistake of opening up to him? Hoping for a gentle touch when your body feels like it was hewn from the most unloveable stone. The most unforgiving rock, and the coldest ice. So cold it would peel skin from flesh, so harsh it would be impossible to touch, so utterly unbearable there would be no choice but to remain alone.
“Will you pass the potatoes?”
You’re drawn from your spiralling thoughts by the golden voice, meeting twinkling amber eyes as Mor watches you with a familiar expression. Warm and welcoming despite how you’d last seen one another.
Swallowing, you nod. “Yeah, sure,” you reply as normally as you can, hand clutching the orange silk of your scarf to keep the material from sliding up as you carefully grip the lip of the ceramic bowl, passing it to her open hand. “Thank you,” Mor smiles, and you blink before remembering to retract your hand. She seems as she was before…back to the female you’d known her as. Is this…does it mean she’s accepted your apology? She’d seemed convinced of what she had told you, so you can’t quite trick yourself into believing that. But maybe civility?
Right, you can understand it now. No matter how upset or hurt she might feel, she must not want to make it other people’s problem. Causing a scene over a dinner, one of the rare moments everyone’s together—most of you, anyway—isn’t worth it. No matter how your relationship might have soured, there’s no need to make the people around you miserable, too.
Amber eyes gleam beneath the warm light, and you feel as though you can come to an agreement—one you’re ready to accept. You can both silently agree not to make it an issue for anyone else, a small kernel of warmth daring to flicker to life in your chest, the sense of connection that comes from mutual understanding despite a disagreement. For everyone else’s sake, the two of you can put everything aside. Even if it might only be temporary.
“I like your scarf,” Mor says lightly, scooping the jagged, crispy roast potatoes onto the side of her plate, setting the bowl down in a spare space, “it suits you.”
Again, you blink, caught off guard. You swallow thickly, managing a nod of your head, chest swelling as you eagerly take on the compliment, content to pretend even if it’s only for an hour or two. “Thank you,” you reply, keeping your voice steady, “I love your necklace.” Which is true, though in honesty it wouldn’t be difficult to find something compliment-worthy about her. She’s beautiful.
Mor hums, glancing to another bowl, before settling on the reasonably sized boat of sauce, creating a small pool at the edge of her plate. You’re a little too occupied with watching Mor to notice the wary glance sent her way by Amren, or the warning one delivered from the High Lord himself. The tiny flicker of hope that maybe things could be patched up blocking out the rest of the picture as you gaze longingly at the female diagonal from you.
“I suppose with the autumn chill in the air yours is a little more practical than some flimsy jewellery,” Mor replies lightly, plucking a cut of bread from the wooden board, drawing the butter closer to slather the fluffy and crusty slice. “Where did you find it? I should fetch one for myself.”
“I’m sure you have more than enough scarves, Mor,” Rhys interjects smoothly, the serrated blade of his knife slicing effortlessly through the sinew of meat, slowly dissected into politely bite-sized pieces. “Any more and you’ll struggle to shut your wardrobe properly.”
Mor smiles icily, meeting his gaze with a cold look on her beautiful face. “Just stocking up before we have our eastern visitors.”
Tension crackles across the table, so acute even you realise something strange is happening, watching nervously, and feeling somehow responsible for the perceived fallout. Eastern visitors…? People from the continent? Eastern…eastern…oh. Feyre had mentioned briefly the deal that had been struck between the High Lord and the Lord that reigns over his Court of Nightmares—Mor’s father. The permitted invasion of her safe haven. The slight fissure that had been opened raw between them—one you’d forgotten about, and had assumed had been fixed.
“How is—” You fumble when Mor’s sharp eyes cut into you, caught off guard by the fierceness held within them. “…How is he?” You manage to ask, unsure whether you should even be interfering or whether you’re just putting your foot in it. Your hands shake under the table, heart pounding but you keep from shifting in your seat.
“Who?” Mor asks blandly, ignoring the sharp glare Amren’s pinning her with. Disregarding the hard look on Rhys’ face, slight disappointment. Possibly wholly unaware of the grip Feyre has on her cutlery, head cast downward, brows pulled together. Your throat rolls, not wanting to say his name.
It would be wrong.
“Who else?” Nesta asks from across the table, her voice singing with the clean cut of steel as it slices through a silk ribbon, a whisper of anger hissing beneath her tone. Sharp amber eyes clash with cool silver, glinting like mercury and ice in spite of the oranges and yellows filling the room to give the allusion of warmth and familiarity. Tension simmers just below the surface, crackling like a metal weather vane struck by lightening, sizzling with barely restrained power.
“Azriel,” you say quietly, hurrying through his name in less than a breath, feeling it brand your tongue, tingling at the roof of your mouth. Dispersing some of the charge. “How is he?”
Amber and silver eyes remain locked for a little while longer, a pause stretching across the table and even to fae hearing there’s hardly a sound being made save for the strain of metal as knuckles strangle and warp the handles of fine cutlery.
At last Mor looks away, dragging her gaze back to your own, the fire dimmed and smothered.
“Well enough to be drinking again,” she answers, and that seems to be the end of the conversation.
————
It’s a little difficult to dry the plates off with the scarf tied at your front, hiding your arms, but you manage.
A cluster of small, iridescent bubbles float past your nose, wafting by, and Elain laughs as you step back suddenly in surprise, having been zoned out.
There’s no need to be washing up anymore, not with the aids of magic, and if you’re honest you aren’t entirely sure how the two of you had ended up coming to the same wordless agreement, but here you are. Elain’s at the sink, bubbles frothy and foamy as she scrubs at the crockery and cutlery before depositing them on the side for you to dry with a towel. You don’t think the soapiness would agree with your skin.
The quiet settles between you, comfortable and without strain, two people sharing a space, and the apprehension you’d had before the dinner begins to slowly mellow, ice thawing out over a chilly night.
Despite the slightly rough start, the night had progressed surprisingly smoothly, with you content to sit quietly while the others discussed various matters: Amren’s recreational studying of the Old Language; Nesta’s progression with swordplay, having begun wielding ataraxia during training; a discussion lead by Rhysand about wards that you’d partially tuned out, thinking of the crater you’d blasted through the House of Wind—at least it sounds like something that can be fixed. They aren’t permanently broken, just temporarily disabled.
“Feyre’s birthday is coming up,” Elain says, seemingly out of nowhere, and you glance at her questioningly, humming in acknowledgement. “What are you thinking of getting her?” You ask, curiously content to follow along this path and see where she takes it. Elain sighs faintly, “I was thinking of making some herbal teas, actually…not many, but a few different ones to see if any help with stress, or sleeping, or the like. Generic benefits.”
You nod your head slightly—it’s a thoughtful gift, bespoke and personal, too. She’s always good with presents.
“You?” Elain asks, glancing at you lightly, speaking only loud enough to top the gentle babbling of water and splashing of suds. You glance down at the stack of dried plates, reaching for the wet cutlery to start on. “I haven’t thought of anything yet,” you answer honestly, considering, “it’s still a couple of months away, so I guess I hadn’t started thinking about it yet.”
Elain’s quiet for a bit, and you get the sense she has something to say but is unsure how to bring it up. You wait patiently, preoccupying yourself with the cutlery, careful not to accidentally carve a chunk of flesh from the heel of your palm.
“I think…Feyre would like to do something with all of us,” she says quietly, a little absently. “Perhaps not on the actual day, but sometime nearby.”
“She would?” You ask, slightly surprised. Elain doesn’t meet your gaze this time, continuing to focus on washing up, giving her hands something to do, and you copy her after a moment, carrying on with the drying up. “She hasn’t said anything explicitly, but it’s the impression I’ve gotten,” Elain says faintly, then pauses again. “I think…I think it would be nice, too.”
There’s a tremor in her fingertips, but she pushes them below the warm water, out of sight as if reaching for a fork or spoon beneath the frothy surface.
“Particularly, after…” Her throat closes up, and you hesitantly reach out, gloves temporarily discarded while drying, bare fingers grazing the soft skin of her forearms, unable to feel the gentle tickle of tiny hairs anymore. “I’m sorry…” you murmur uselessly, watching helplessly as a droplet falls from her eye, splashing through into the dishwater below. But Elain shakes her head, hands raising from the water to continue moving, absently washing the last plate from the dinner.
“I’d like to see more of you, too,” Elain says, swallowing thickly as she scrubs at the gleaming porcelain, clearing her throat. “So would Nesta. I think we’ve all been a bit distant lately, with one another I mean, and with Feyre having Nyx, and Nesta off in Day… We should spend more time together, and see each other more often, and speak more, just in general. And then there’s also Starfall, and we can see each other then, and celebrate, and—”
“Elain, Starfall’s months away,” you say gently, fingers shifting so they’re lightly gripping her wrist, pausing her motions, pulling her eyes to lock with your own. Wider than they should be.
You look at one another, watching silently, and you can feel the flutter of her pulse beneath your fingertips, erratic enough for even your own damaged hands to pick up on.
“You’ll be there, won’t you?” She whispers, eyes hot and wet.
You blink, grasping the heaviness of the question, then nod, unable to make your throat work, lower lip trembling a bit. “I’ll be there,” you manage to get out, feeling the familiar pressure behind your eyes.
She nods back, before finally handing over that last plate that has been clean for a while, but between the soapiness of the dishwater, and the trembling of both your hands, the plate slips, and smashes on the floor. The pale fragments split and shatter, spraying across the cold tiles, and both of you jump at the startling noise, before looking at each other again, and laughing. Gasping, ragged breaths that have both of you leaning for support, tears welling in eyes as each of you are split between crying from desperate, manic humour, and dreadful, fearsome sadness.
Neither of you can find it in yourselves to care about the shattered porcelain, the jagged fragments with blue, red, and orange ink drops dotted around the utterly broken rim of the plate.
“I…I need to find something…to clean that up,” you gasp through laughter, wiping away the tears. Elain just nods, still heaving ragged breath into her lungs, eyes squeezed shut, ringlets of hair jostling with each shudder of mirth as she grips the edge of the sink, expression torn between sobbing laughter and wrecking grief, and you don’t think you can stand to be in the same room for much longer, subject to the violent turbulence.
The light from the kitchen dims but your eyes adjust swiftly as you walk unevenly out into the dark hallway, rounding the corner to go look for a brush, or duster of some kind, even a cloth or a rag would do—
Both of you freeze as you round the corner to see one another, Mor’s figure losing its rigidity much more swiftly compared to your own that will remain locked up for the following few minutes.
You swallow thickly, eyes wide as you take her in: the dimmed gold of her lustrous hair; the bare expanse of her elegant neck; the tray held in her red-tipped hands, those long, slightly rounded nails gleaming a deep rouge. “Mor,” you greet, a touch quieter than usual, “I didn’t see you there.”
“Nor I, you,” she replies, watching you. A beat passes, and you swallow again, eyes flicking down to the tray in her hands. “Azriel’s?” You ask through the tightness in your throat, gently probing to see if she’s open to a conversation. You’ll leave, if she’s unresponsive—you know now what it’s like to be on either end of this strange dynamic. Mor nods her head once, still watching you silently, and you look elsewhere. Then nod your own head. “Nice seeing you,” you say quietly, then move to walk around her.
“Wait,” Mor whispers at the last second, holding the tray in one hand and gripping your wrist with the other. You recoil sharply when her fingers squeeze your arm, and her hold lightens significantly, but she doesn’t immediately let go, digits stuttering away a second later. “Sorry,” she murmurs, stepping back by half a pace. “It’s okay,” you reply hastily, looking away as you pull your hand back to your body, “you didn’t know.”
The words hang between you, and silence stretches in the relative darkness of the corridor.
When you manage to raise your gaze to glance at her, you nearly regret the choice—she’s making no effort to conceal the fierce defence in her sharp amber eyes. You’re about to turn to try and leave again though, when she speaks, and the tremor in her voice is pronounced enough to root you to the spot.
“Tell me why you went to Eris.”
————
The expression that was on the commander’s face had been enough to set the two of them on edge, Jurian offering Eris one of those slow but rare, slightly insane half-smiles he can make, that often has the spiralling effect distinctive to falling down through a nightmare on whoever’s unlucky enough to have it turned on them. It doesn’t come out often, but that it’s made an appearance this evening is a dark sign, and Lucien silently prays he will not be forced into a position where he will have to default to Eris’s defence in attempts to calm the potential ire that could catch in either of his human comrades.
The day has proven to be tricky enough on its own—none of them need this added abrasion.
Vassa strides across the room, taking up in the seat closest to the crackling hearth, the flame making her hair blaze brighter than natural, her already sharp eyes glinting in the firelight.
It seems he’s the only one actively trying to avoid the conflict that’s brewing in the air, the other two appearing ready and more than content to fight fire with fire. He knows there’s no use explaining the redundancy of wielding that tactic against the male across from the human queen, with fire burning in his very blood.
“You said you had news,” Vassa demands, charging straight to the point before Lucien’s even had a chance to seat himself on the other end of the sofa, opposite from Jurian. Between his chosen family and his blood-given one. But Eris won’t be rushed, and instead turns his attention to his youngest brother, the fire doing nothing to thaw the cool ice in his amber eyes. “How is your mate, Lucien?”
Lucien allows himself the space of a blink to recompose himself, vaguely trying to hide his suspicion. It’s never good when he can’t see the end Eris is pursuing, but he’s used to being left in the dark when it comes to the male’s schemes—he just can’t help the instinctive aggression that prickles up the back of his neck at Elain being brought into this.
“You aren’t one for idle chatter,” Lucien replies, calming the flame that had begun sizzling in his blood, “why don’t we skip ahead and get straight to the point, as this is such a time sensitive matter?” A sinister gleam appears in his oldest brother’s eyes, and he braces himself for whatever whip is about to lash into his skin. “Very well,” Eris says instead, leaning back into his chair, practically sprawling across it, dominating the space he takes up in his typically uncaring, arrogant fashion. But then the air shifts, his expression becoming serious. “How well-informed is your mate of Night Court affairs?”
“Enough with this evasive subterfuge. What news do you bring?” Vassa demands harshly, Jurian seemingly agreeing with her anticipation to have the male rid of as soon as possible, a disagreeable look simmering in his rough features. But Lucien levels his brother with an evaluating glance, mechanical eye whirring faintly against the dim heat of the fire. “We each have our distances,” Lucien replies evenly, yielding a vague answer. He’s getting the distinct feeling something large has happened, or is about to. Maybe even happening as they speak—slabs of rock knocking into one another, having already been pushed into motion.
Does this have anything to do with Elain’s visit being postponed? She had been supposed to arrive two days ago, but had had to change their meeting to a later date as she’d had a family matter to oversee. Lucien hadn’t tried to pry.
“But you’re aware that Nesta Archeron and the General took a vacation to the Day Court?” Eris questions, and again Lucien has the distinct sense he’s missing a piece of the puzzle. A very big, very crucial piece of the puzzle.
He nods, and braces himself.
Though even foresight wouldn’t have been enough to prepare him for the news Eris had brought.
A warning that shook him to his fae bones.
————
You swallow thickly, frozen stiff as her truthful eyes bore into you.
You open your mouth, lips ajar, but your throat is much too tight to release any sort of sound.
Mor doesn’t shift, holding your gaze with a steadiness and conviction you can’t look away from, bound to her by an invisible tether that’s keeping you from hiding or running how you’d like to. “Surely you know…” she whispers, taking in a shallow breath, her lashes fluttering with an almost imperceptible shudder. “Surely you know what he did to me.”
You give a faint nod of your head.
Her amber eyes sharpen, and your stomach clenches beneath the look. “So explain yourself,” she utters lowly. “Don’t leave it up to me to pry the answers from you.”
A seed of fear plants itself in your throat, something cool and slimy rinsing gently down your spine and you’re worried sweat is dripping down your ribs, rolling in salty droplets down the soft inside of your arms where the skin hasn’t yet grown dehydrated and flaky. Fingers tighten absently on the silk of the orange scarf banding around your upper body, tugging at the folds to try and hide the tremor of adrenaline that’s filtered into your bloodstream.
You swallow thickly, but your throat won’t clear, and you realise that’s because there’s nothing there—no matter how much it feels the opposite.
“I didn’t…” you clear your throat again. Rip your gaze away. “I didn’t want to disappoint any of you,” you force yourself to answer, voice catching at the pitiful excuse.
Mor’s silent.
Silent for long enough you nervously look at her.
You flinch internally at the expression of horror on her features, shoulders bunching with shame as your brows curve, silently begging for a reply, and not this awful quiet that’s slowly gutting you.
“You chose…” she swallows past a lump in her throat, and her scent has shifted but you can’t understand what it means, the minute changes that occur within fae bodies. “You willingly went to him? He didn’t even have to try and persuade you?”
“Mor it wasn’t like that,” you try to clarify hurriedly. “I just—…I just thought it would be—”
“Easier?”
“No! I just thought it would— I don’t know… It would’t cause trouble! I just wanted to do it by myself so I wouldn’t have to bother any of you!”
“Wouldn’t cause trouble?” Mor repeats incredulously, a look of disbelief on her features, like she can’t grasp what you’re saying. “We were ready to help,” Mor bites back sharply, “all you had to do was ask for it. You could have spoken to Feyre, or any of your sisters about your magic. Any of us. You could have come to me, even—but you went to Eris.” Her voice is taut, rife with anger and hurt, but even in the dim light there’s a faint shine in her eyes, belying their wetness. “What made you think that we weren’t enough?”
“I didn’t want to bother you!” You say back, matching her volume.
“We’re your family! You’re supposed to bother us!”
You take a small step back, fighting the humiliating wobble of your lip before you shake your head, fingertips tingling. “No. You’re— You’re Feyre’s family.”
“Feyre’s your sister,” Mor emphasises, knuckles pushing up from beneath the smooth softness of her skin, pronounced from her bone-white grip on the tray that’s beginning to splinter. “Or is she no longer part of your family either? It seems the only person you even bother to speak to is Elain nowadays. Her and Azriel, anyway.”
“And what does that matter?” You bite back, hands itching. “What does it matter if I only speak to Elain? Would you prefer I start speaking to you, Mor?”
“Why not?” She nearly spits, energy being drawn out from the cave where she’d tried to smother it over dinner. “Why not?” You repeat, neither of you completely aware of how your voices are beginning to rise incrementally, ignoring or oblivious to the faint, sickly green light that definitely isn’t coming from the kitchen. “You’d like me to speak with you when this is the kind of conversation we’re having? You want me to be emotional, or vulnerable with you, or ask you for help when you shut me out the moment I do something wrong? When I fail?”
“I might have shut you out but you didn’t even open up. Didn’t even give us a chance in the first place, don’t pretend otherwise,” Mor spits back. “If you can’t understand the pain you caused me, fine. I can’t help it if you won’t allow yourself to think of us as family. But what about your actual family? What about them?”
“Don’t you dare try and talk to me about my own family Mor,” you grit out, nails digging into the flaky skin of your palms, heart pounding in your chest. “Haven’t you pried enough?”
“Did you even think to consider how it would make them feel?” Mor jabs, barrelling ahead. “Can you grasp how hurt Feyre was that you didn’t go to her? Three sisters, and you decided that none of them were good enough? Just because you aren’t their first choice doesn’t mean they can’t be—”
“Mor.”
Utter silence falls throughout the hallway at the barely restrained interruption.
Both of you freeze at the sound of the third voice, filled with hissing winds and rasping shadow. Managing to stay calm despite the tempest in her blue-grey eyes.
Before you, Mor blinks, and you’re unsure if you imagine the way colour drains from her features, still watching you. Further unsure if the faint green light was smothered of its own accord or the dark shadows that seem to be heavier now Feyre has appeared. Now the Cursebreaker has entered.
Mor turns on her heel, shifting to meet Feyre’s eyes, but quiet stretches between them, and you get the impression a conversation is being had, though not through daemati powers. A single lock of golden hair shifts over Mor’s shoulder, falling out of place, though you can no longer see her expression. And then she nods. Just once, hardly perceptible, even to fae eyes, and you watch with a still pounding heart as the tray vanishes from her hands a second later, heels clicking softly across the floorboards as she wordlessly takes her exit, leaving you and…Feyre, alone in the hallway.
You shift anxiously on your feet, swallowing thickly.
“How much of that did you hear?” You ask quietly, looking away again, all the fight drained from you after the brief altercation. You’re entirely unaccustomed with those open arguments, haven’t had one since—well, since that last one with Feyre, that had the sound ward placed on your room.
Feyre watches you, the previous storm quietened, but her eyes aren’t sparkling as usual. Instead she looks drained. Drained, and tired, and a little wary. “Enough,” she answers.
You shift again, a little begrudging she saw fit to interrupt, like you needed her to intervene. “It was fine, you know…”
Feyre’s quiet, and you’re unsure if she’s angry. Angry at you for speaking to Mor that way. Angry at you for speaking so loudly when Nyx is probably asleep. Angry at you for not speaking to her first. Angry at you for the long, long list of reasons she should have by now.
“It did hurt,” she says quietly, and you raise your gaze to meet her own, “that you thought you couldn’t come to us. To me.”
Your lips purse, and you look away.
“I was upset with your choice. Disappointed a little. Confused,” she continues in that quiet whisper that could carry with ease across a cavernous hall. “But what Mor said wasn’t true. Not in the way she phrased it.”
“Feyre, it’s fine,” you say softly. “You don’t need to—”
“Mor knows that’s not true either.”
Your lips purse again, that quiet stretching between you.
You want to disintegrate on the spot.
Fabric rustles slightly, and it’s the only clue you have to Feyre shifting. Then, “it’s late,” she says, moving away from the open wound of a topic. “We should talk more about this in the morning. When Madja comes round too.” She nods her head toward the corridor, but you look at her a little apologetically. “I was supposed to find Elain a brush,” you say, feeling embarrassed, “we broke a plate.”
“The kitchen will clear it up,” Feyre replies, leaving no room for you to skate back to your older sister.
So you end up walking with her back to your room.
It’s dark out, and you can’t help but look forward to settling into bed, even if it hurts sometimes to roll over beneath the covers. That it hurts sometimes to lie on your sides, when your arms press into the sheets, with your weight resting atop them. At least you’re beginning to get used to it, the pain much more tolerable now, despite it having not decreased.
You’ve both reached the top of the stairs, turning down the hallway that will lead to your bedroom, walking close enough together to make up for the fact your arms aren’t linked—Feyre guessing correctly it would probably hurt—when Feyre speaks. “Are Eris and Azriel the only other people who’ve felt your magic before?” She asks tentatively into the darkness of the house, seemingly having cooled off now you’re further from the spot of altercation.
“Yes, I think so,” you answer in an equally soft voice.
“Have either of them every commented on what it feels like?” She asks, and you’re aware how she’s keeping her gaze ahead. You move your eyes to look in the same direction, spotting your bedroom door on the right not far ahead. “Not that I can think of,” you reply, before adding, “though it’s never been…going, for as long as that.”
Feyre’s silent, and you glance at her through the shadows, wondering what she’s thinking. You can’t read her expression, so resume your looking ahead.
“When I was in autumn, though,” you begin hesitantly, hardly louder than a whisper, worrying who might overhear the unpleasant reference, “my magic almost…I don’t know…burst? It came through me very suddenly, and forcefully.” You recall the frighteningly large creature that had charged at you while in the woods, how your magic had melted the skin from its flesh. “We were both sick afterwards.”
“Azriel was sick a lot when he first woke up,” Feyre says faintly, and your stomach clenches with guilt.
You try to swallow past it, but it seems to remain lodged in your throat, unpleasantly settling in your stomach heavily enough you’re thankful when you reach your door, the evening nearly over with.
“Why did you ask, by the way?” You question before slipping away into your room, paused over the threshold.
Feyre glances at you, turned to leave but stopping. “Your magic…I could feel it in the hallway,” she answers, a wary note creeping into her voice.
She seems disinclined to give anything else, so you again shift awkwardly in the doorway, before gathering the gut to ask, “how did it feel?”
Something passes behind her blue-grey eyes, shuttering briefly as they close, before reopening. “Like I was dying again,” she answers quietly.
You stare at her silently, the threshold of your room between you, the silence heavier than it was before. You don’t even know what to say to that.
She doesn’t give you the time to think of a reply, however, as she releases a sigh. Her throat rolls as she meets your eyes. “Sleep well,” she says, and you catch as her attention dips to your hands, like she wants to take them, to hold them.
But she doesn’t, instead looking back at you again, throat rolling for the second time.
“I love you,” she says hoarsely, speaking those words that are so sparsely exchanged between the four of you.
You stiffen, emotion of a different kind tightening your throat, and you nod faintly.
“I love you, too. Sleep well.”
——————————————————————————————————————————————
general taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @slut4acotar @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks @hnyclover @skyesayshi @nyotamalfoy @decomposing-writer @soph1644 @lilah-asteria @nighttimemoonlover
az taglist: @azrielshadows1nger @jurdanpotter @positivewitch @nightcourt-daydreaming @assassinsblade @marvelouslovely-barnes @v3lv3tf0x @kalulakunundrum @vellichor01 @throneofsmut @vickykazuya @starlitlakes @kksbookstuff
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#azriel x reader#azriel x reader angst#multi part fic#azriel x you#cbmthy#cbmthy chapter 18#can’t bring myself to hate you
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Hey hey I was wondering if you could do a aizawa with his teen daughter who just found out she was pregnant and how he and her deal with everything
[Since Anon didn’t specify whether the daughter was impregnated by choice, I’m going to go a darker route and say that the reader was r~~~d by their ex (they were together at the time, but they broke up after the reader found out their boyfriend assaulted them in their sleep) and although they are upset about the situation, they can’t bring themselves to terminate the baby.]
Aizawa x Teen Daughter Reader: Teenage Pregnancy
You and your boyfriend had a really good relationship going. You both had agreed to save sex for when you were out of Highschool and both had stable jobs
At least, that’s what you thought
You were 17 years old when you got ‘sick’. Constantly throwing up in the mornings and certain smells made you puke.
Aizawa had noticed this and hoped it was just the flu but decided to be safe and went to buy Pregnancy tests and left them on your bed with a note saying:
“I picked these up for you, I promise I won’t be angry or upset with you if you’re pregnant. You’re old enough to know that every action has consequences. Just know that I’m here to help in any way I can.
Love, Dad”
When you missed your period you decided to take the tests. Needless to say they were positive.
When Aizawa heard you crying through the bathroom door, his heart slightly broke, so he tried to talk to you
“Sweetheart, are you going to be able to come out and talk to me? I know that you’re upset but please know that I’m not going to be mad at you or scold you. You knew that this was going to be something that could happen when you had sex”
Cue the reader crying even harder. That’s when Aizawa knew, he f~~~ed up.
Oh, oh this is much worse then he could have possibly imagined. His heart broke in two and he felt a simmering of rage start to boil in his gut
“Sweetie, I’m so sorry, forget what I said, you didn’t choose this but I promise I’m going to be here and help you no matter what you choose to do.”
Eri was awake and heard the commotion and asked about what was going on. When Aizawa tried to explain what was happening that’s when you exited the bathroom with a positive test
You knelt down and did your best to explain to Eri what was happening and what it meant. When you saw the look of wonder and excitement on her sweet little face, that was when you decided to keep the baby
Aizawa had called Mic and let him know what was happening as well as Midnight. They both drove over and stayed with you (Midnight didn’t die in this story) whilst Aizawa left to go deal with your Ex
First Trimester:
Aizawa, Mic and Nemuri are there for everything. Aizawa is there at every checkup and has a picture of the ultrasound in his wallet
He started getting things early and stocking up on necessities like diapers, bottles, wipes, etc.
Started to baby-proof the house, helped get a crib set up as well as the nursery
Second Trimester:
He started preparing for you to be homeschooled during maternity leave and made sure you would still be on track to graduate
He and Mic start to buy gender neutral baby clothes, books, toys, etc.
He takes you to every appointment
Third Trimester:
Oh boy, he nervous
His students hear about it and hold a baby shower for you. Each member of class 1A gets you of the baby something. Some of their gifts include: an All Might and Eraserhead onesies, cute baby clothes, some books, a baby food processor and recipe book with storage containers, maternity friendly tea, stuffed toys, etc.
As you start to show more, Nemuri takes you shopping for clothes
Aizawa and Mic surprised you with a painted nursery as well as a car seat
Birth:
Aizawa never had so many mixed emotions all at once
When he got the call at school that you went into labor, he dropped his things and immediately headed to the hospital
Grabs the to go bag as an after thought
Eri calls the baby her little brother and promises to be the best big sister ever
Every milestone, Aizawa is taking pictures of
Of course, uncle Mic helps out with the baby and everything
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MASTERMIND
PROLOGUE
SUMMARY: a child of light and dark, you are the Night Court’s best kept secret. After decades spent in hiding, you yearn to stretch your wings. But you quickly learn that freedom comes with a price, as you find yourself trying to outfox the fox in his own den.
PAIRING: eris vanserra x reader
WORD COUNT: 1k
SERIES MASTERLIST
WARNINGS: none for now
The Night Court was home to Prythian’s oldest and darkest secrets. Perhaps it was the rippling terror of the Court of Nightmares, or the nightfall darker than any other region, that granted it the ability to house so many enigmas. However, from the city of Velaris to the Ouroboros, each secret had its expiration date. As the old saying goes, there are no secrets that time does not reveal—and in an immortal world, time was a fickle thing. But few knew of the Night Court’s best kept secret.
She was the bastard child of Keir, the Steward of Hewn City, and Marjorie, a high fae librarian of the Day Court. Born from an unwilling affair between the two immortals, she was kept hidden from her father. For nearly two decades, Marjorie used every last drop of her powers to conceal her pregnancy and her child. The Day Court faerie knew that if her abuser ever gained knowledge of his child’s existence, it would be a death sentence. Marjorie raised her daughter alone. She grew up concealed among the infinite bookshelves of the Day Court’s libraries. She learned to read before she could walk, and speak in ancient tongues at the ripe age of five. Despite her haunting ability to sink into the shadows, a gift bestowed upon her by her ignorant father, she was a child of the Day Court, through and through. It wasn’t her spell-cleaving ability or the tendrils of light she could summon at her fingertips that made her a child of the Day; rather, it was her thirst for knowledge and sharp intelligence that even the Cauldron itself marveled.
Morrigan, the third in command of the Night Court, was the first to find her. As the threat of Amarantha’s rise dispersed through the courts of Prythian, Marjorie knew she had to act quickly. Driven by the fear of her precious child landing in the hands of Kier, the librarian wrote to the only family she trusted to keep her daughter out of harm’s way. Despite the shock of her half-sister’s existence, Morrigan acted without hesitation. The third in command took her sister to the safety of Velaris without hesitation. Marjorie promised her weeping daughter that she would one day return; that they would meet again when all evil had been righted. But she knew. She knew in her heart that it would be the last time she would see her mother. Despite the terror that Amarantha’s invasion instilled in Marjorie, she died peacefully knowing that her pride and joy was out of evil’s grasp.
The inner circle of the Night Court was the next to learn of her existence. They were at first wary, due to the threat of war growing through Prythian. But the doe eyes identical to Morrigan’s were a window into the goodness of her soul. Rhysand didn’t need to tap into the cobblestone barriers of her mind to see her striking erudition, sharp tongue, and despite its intricacies, her pure heart. But time, in all its futility, was against him. As he travelled to Under the Mountain, where he would remain for the next half-century, she found solace in the library of Velaris. Although not as vast as her once home in the Day Court, she valued the wealth of literature and treated it with a level of admiration Clotho hadn’t witnessed in centuries.
When she wasn’t browsing through the rows and rows of titles, she found herself growing close with the other members of the Night Court’s inner circle. Amren took a liking to her quick wit. Azriel found himself drawn to the gentle curiosity, rather than fear, that graced her features when she first studied his scarred hands. Cassian admired the unrelenting fearlessness she carried from fickle debates to the training ring. And Morrigan found a piece of her heart she hadn’t known was missing since the day her father dropped her at the borders of the Forest House in the Autumn Court. She had found her sister. A sister not only bound to her by choice, but by blood. Through the constant fear of Rhysand’s absence and Amarantha’s rule, she was the silver lining; the flickering flame that wouldn’t go out, no matter how hard the winds of evil blew.
Nearly a decade into her stay in Velaris, she began to grow restless. She had spent the first twenty years of her existence cooped up in the libraries of the Day Court. She appreciated the change of scenery that Velaris brought. But there was an incessant itch in the back of her brain she could not scratch. She had read thousands of books detailing the histories, landscapes, and people of Prythian. Yet she had never set foot into the vast world surrounding her. She was a caged bird, yearning to stretch her wings. So, she concocted a plan. Rhysand’s last ditch effort to keep Velaris safe only forced his inner circle to remain within the limits of the city.
She became Athena Ellesmere: a merchant and cartographer’s daughter, sent to each court to engage in tradings and research the vast lands and seas of Prythian. She forged relationships with citizens of each court—farmers, vendors, lower-level employees of the High Lords. She gathered intel on the inner-workings of each court, the sentiment of its people, and the status of Amarantha’s cruel grasp. She became an asset to the Night Court during the queen’s rule of terror. Upon Rhysand’s return decades later, she was officially inducted into his inner circle as the Liaison of the Night Court. During the war against Hybern, her role as a liaison was critical for reaching parts of Prythian the Spymaster’s shadows could not through conversation. Her fluency in literature and ancient tongues was invaluable in helping Amren crack the code of the book. Her allegiance to those who had saved her from certain doom at the hands of her father was unwavering. And when the famed Archeron sisters took residence in Velaris, she vowed to protect them as her Night Court family had protected her.
To Prythian, she was a merchant and cartographer’s daughter. To the inner circle, she was their best kept secret. But as the old saying goes, there are no secrets that time does not reveal.
#acotar#acotar series#acotar fanfiction#eris vanserra x reader#eris vanserra#eris vanserra smut#eris vanserra fanfic#acotar fanfic#eris x reader#mastermind
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enchanting ; act one
(Previously titled; dreamers with no stars.)
Pairing; Eris x Archeron!Reader
Warnings: angst if you squint.
Summary: Your sister invites you to a ball, you meet an enchanting man.
"With all I've loved,
I loved alone"
-Edgar Allan Poe
....
To be isolated is to walk down the mahogany stairs of the House, trailing curious fingers down the barely textured, cream-colored walls. To hear the third step squeak when you place your weight on it, just on the left side. To walk down the endless hallways, filled with family portraits that seem to mock her existence with the words whispered in the back of her mind, "you are lost, yet no one cares to find you.” To walk into the warm light of the kitchen to find everyone gathered around the breakfast table for some Saturday tradition.
Forgotten as Feyre and Rhysand dote over the bump that grows larger and larger with each day, forgotten as Nesta and Elain quietly converse, still adjusting to the crowd of fey, yet comfortable in their presence. Forgotten as Azriel makes an off handed comment that rials Cassian up, Mor grinning against the rim of her glass.
To be isolated is to walk to the counter to grab something to eat, only Amren sparing her a single glance, paired with a barely-there nod.
She slowly piles food onto her plate, before finding those same portrait filled hallways, the same cream-colored walls, the same mahogany steps, a new day, yet the same routine.
….
Hours pass as she searches the library, keen eyes scanning the leather bound books looking for a specific title that one of the priestesses had recommended. She pulls a book down with nimble fingers, before adding it to the pile of books for the week.
She absent mindedly sorts through the books, eyes darting from the stack of books to the list she had made a few days ago. Her mind was much too focused on the titles to hear the soft shutting of the large doors, and the rustling behind her. It takes the woman behind her a few tries to pull her out of her focus, Feyre's voice growing louder as she repeats her name several times, before tapping on her shoulder.
“Yes?” She said, head slowly turning to glance at her sister. Feyre hums, circling the chaise and sitting down beside her. “I wanted to speak to you about something.” Feyre began, opening her mouth to speak before being interrupted by the woman next to her.
“Is it about breakfast? I don't usually go anyways–” “No, no… its not about breakfast, I wanted to ask you to join us, Rhysand is hosting an event in Hewn City and… Don't make that face, Sea Lion.” Feyre said at the obvious distaste in her sister's face.
Ah, yes… that nickname. Born from Nesta's teasing over a decade ago, due to her brief curiosity of the creatures after hearing of one from her fathers business partner, it was mocking at first, but morso a pet name as they grew older. Something she had never understood was how her sisters could use something that was originally thought of as mocking, as an endearment.
She was pulled from her thoughts yet again as Feyre sighed, gently reaching out for her sisters hand. “It is very important to me that you go, I would like all my sisters to be there.” At her sisters silence, she nods.
“Please, think about it.”
Please was not a word any of her sisters used often, other than Elain, of course. Feyre must really want this, so she sighed, “I suppose Ill attend.” She said softly, turning to her sister and nodding, looking into her eyes for the first time today.. Feyre thanking her hand skittering off, probably to tell Rhysand.
“Smile. You look like you don't want to be here.” Nesta said, looking amused as she sips from her glass.
“I don't.” She responds, her sister sighing. “Neither do I, and I much less want to have to seduce that.” Nesta said, gesturing to a man in the crowd, speaking with Mor's father, Kier or something. The man turning to look behind him towards the dias, letting her see a proper peek at his face.
Oh, Mother.
There stood the most gorgeous man she had ever seen, cropped copper hair, high cheekbones that added an air of regality to him without making the man look haughty. Plump lips pulled into the most self assured grin, showing his perfect teeth, keen whisky eyes examining the room in a manner that bordered on predatory.
The moment those dazzling eyes met hers, she looked down to her glass, cheeks pinked. Unable to see his eyes widen ever-so-slightly, unable to see the urgency in which he looked away.
She silently excused herself, moving to the clear balcony to catch her breath, not knowing whatever the feeling she held in her heart was. The thought slightly scaring her.
She stays on that balcony for a long while, only parting with it when the still-new sensation of a presence in her mind. And Rhysand’s voice echos words into her mind. “Come to the dais”
….
She walked to the dias, her midnight blue velvet gown ever so slightly brushing against the floor as she steps into the spare spot in between Nesta and Elain, assuming that to be her designated spot. She stands there for a while, watching silently as the beautiful man walks up the stairs, conversing with the High Lord and Lady.
What was said not registering as she gazes at the man. Something about him felt familiar, though she was sure she'd never met him. She only began to pay attention as he walked their direction, Nesta adjusting her posture to appear more sensual.
She assumed this to be the part where Nesta seduced the man, which felt wrong to her, for whatever reason. However, he does not stop at Nesta, he moved past her to stand in front of herself. He stepped a stair below his current stature and bow, taking her hand to his lips and brushing them against her hand.
The sensation setting a fluttering feeling off in her stomach. “What is your name, Lady Archeron?” The man asked her, tilting his head. As she introduced herself, and he introduced himself, she was led to the dance floor by the man– Eris.
Eris.
Her eyes find a mole on the side of his face, right below his right eye, gaze trained on it as they begin their waltz. She claws at her brain to find the steps, yet cannot remember. Eris gently moves his hand to the small of her back, bringing here closer to him and leaning his face against her neck as he whispers softly.
“Follow my lead.”
It felt natural to do so. Even though Eris kept attempting to strike up a conversation, she was too focused on trying to not step on his toes and bring them to the ground to converse. The waltz came to an end, and she bows, her hands shaking.
The walk back to the dais was as silent as the rest of their interaction. She felt guilty for not being able to seduce the man, but regardless, was glad she was even able to waltz without falling and crashing into something or someone.
She moved swiftly up to her sisters as shocking words ring in her ears.
“I will offer you support, in exchange for her hand.”
a/n - I read this back and she's kinda autistic-coded, so I hope everyone is okay with that :)
Taglist;
@babypeapoddd @mybestfriendmademe @lilah-asteria @impossibelle @thestartitaness
comment if you want to join taglist!
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#eris vandaddy#eris vanserra#eris vanserra x reader#eris x reader#eris x archeron!reader#eris x you#eris x y/n#eris x oc#acosf#a court of thorns and roses#chubby reader#tale as old as the mother
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Forever and Day
So my Lovely beta @loving-and-dreaming made a request for this oneshot ages ago and I finished it way later than I thought... Its done now and I hope you enjoy it. If you see any mistakes in this no you don't For the full experience listen to
Eris Vanserra/ Reader
I never thought the two of us would get to this point in our lives. Truly and utterly happy. A scream pulled my attention to the two red haired children running around the room with my beloved mate chasing after them. We fought hard to get to this point and had faced countless challenges to get here.
“Mom is everything alright.” My eldest daughter ask a she walks up to the throne that I am sitting on. There is a touch of concern in her voice that I pick up on
“Nothing dear heart. Just watching your father chasing the grandbabes around just brings back memories.” I smile lookup at the daughter who looks so much like her father. Bright red hair and cinnamon eyes so like her fathers; when she was younger I had been only slightly bitter that it was hard to find any traces of me in her. As she grew though I loved the fact that I could look at her and see Eris
“He’s so good with them. Thank you for taking care of them for me today.” She perches herself on the arm of the throne watching her father chase her babes around the same throne room that held so many important memories for our family.
“It is always our pleasure dear heart. We miss having babes in the house.” And we did it was always an adventure when there were little feet pattering around the Forest House.
Funny how if you would have asked me 900 years ago what my life would have been like I never would have imagined that my life would be like this.
I hadn’t wanted to go to this stupid ball; but my father insisted. As a part of Beron’s court of advisers my father was required to attend the events that where hosted at the forest house and by extension that meant that our family was required to go. That meant being washed, oiled, powdered and dressed up like a doll to put our best foot forward; to impress the High Lord. Once the entire family had been made presentable dressed in our finest we head to the Forest House to socialize with the elite of the Autumn court.
“Stop fidgeting with your dress.” My mother chides as we move to greet the High Lord and his family.
“Sorry it’s the corset. One of the bones is digging into my ribs.” I didn’t want it to sound like I was whining but I don’t think I succeeded in that endeavor. My father fixes me with a glare before we step up before Beron and his family.
“High Lord, Might I introduce my wife and daughter.” He bows before motioning towards my mother and me. We step forward and curtsy. I glance up at the family in front of us. The high lord cuts an intimidating figure sitting in his throne clothed in a deep burgundy jacket and black pants. The Lady of Autumn is sat slightly behind her husband in a less ornate chair. Her outfit seems to be wearing her rather than the other way around. A crimson gown covered in jewels paired with a large necklace and tiara. It would be a beautiful look on someone with a loud personality but her ladyship was a very soft spoken female. They are a beautiful couple but there is a lack of affection between the two; even though they are sitting right beside each other it seems like they are in different courts
When I glance at the third figure I nearly gasp. He is beautiful. Tall and lithe , a perfect combination of the two people sitting in front of him. Eris, Beron’s eldest son, was a work of art. Rumors flew around the court that he was just as ruthless as his father. Cinnamon eyes met mine for a brief second. I missed the way his eyes widen ever so slightly. It is as if the two of us had drifted to our own little world. I bow my head again as a blush creeps up my neck. Thankfully I am spared further embarrassment as my father leads my mother and I away from the dais.
Time passes slowly as the night wears on. I had been twirled around the room by several arrogant males who only seemed to want to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. I couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes on me the whole night and I could not seem to pin who was watching me. I find myself hiding in the corner of the room
I don’t realize when he approaches until he is standing before me with an elegant hand extended.
“May I have this dance.” His smooth Baritone voice is like music flowing through my ears. I nod before placing my hand in his, letting him lead me out onto the floor to dance. It's like the fairy tails that my mother used to read to me before bed about the prince taking the princess by the hand and twirling her around the floor until the clock struck midnight.
Months had passed since that fateful dance. Eris had formally asked to court me shortly after that ball and we had been stuck together at the hip. We rarely went a few days without seeing one another. It had been a blessing that Beron had approved of the relationship. I knew that it was only because of my family standing within the court that we had approval but I was so grateful for it.
Eris had sent me a message late last night saying that he would be stealing me away for the day. I wasn’t expecting a hike through the woods with Eris’s dogs running around freely chasing after one another, but it was beautiful. It felt like some of the courts overlooked Autumn's beauty. The reds, oranges, and golds of the leaves paint a beautiful picture. Dead leaves create a soft carpet on the forest floor crunching as we walk along the path. Eris holds onto one of my hands as he leads me to a break in the trees. The hounds dart into the field stirring up a host of butterflies. I let out a soft gasp at the sight as I leaned into Eris reveling in his warmth.
“I love you forever” I whisper rising up onto my toes to give him a kiss on the cheek
“And I love you forever and a day.” He gently grasp my chin. He turns my face towards him and places a soft kiss on my lips.
We had been courting for almost two years now. Two years of joy and love; there is a level of propriety that had to be kept due to our stations but we had enough time to really get to know one another. I had loved everything about this male and it warmed my heart to know that I was one of maybe three people that he liked. He had invited me over to the forest house today to spend the day together. I had only been here for a few minutes sitting alone in one of the sitting rooms, but there was no Eris in sight. The staff had led me here so I knew I was in the right place but now I am curious to where my wayward male is. I ended up so lost in my own thoughts that I missed the door creak open. It is the sound of nails clicking on the floor that pulls me from my mind. Running towards me is a small gray puppy and a tiny little fox kit. The puppy reaches me first immediately begging for my attention
“Oh hello, who are you?” I reach down to pet the puppy’s velvety soft fur. By that time the fox had also reached me, pawing at my leg to be picked up.
“He’s yours. The fox is as well” Eris’s smooth voice fills the room as he strides towards me.
“You got me a puppy and a fox. What’s the occasion?” I smile coyly at him before returning my attention to the hyper puppy at my feet
“Well read the note, love.” Note. I look at the puppy and see the small piece of paper stuck in between the collar and the puppy’s neck. I gently pulled it out of and unfolded it with one hand while supporting the fox with the other
‘Will you be my Mommy and marry Daddy?’ I look up to see Eris kneeling in front of me a ring box open
“My love, I knew from the moment I saw you that I would love you until my last breath and then I would love you until the universe ceased to exist. These past two years have been the best years of my life and I want to spend the rest of eternity with you. Will you marry me?” I let out an almost inaudible gasp. I look into those beautiful cinnamon eyes and feel a snap of a small golden thread weaving its way between us linking us together from now until we cease to exist. A mating bond, I gently tug on the strand and feel a larger tug coming from Eris’s end. Apparently he already new
“Yes..” Tears start to fall from my eyes “A million times yes, My mate.”
“Stop picking at your corset.” My mother chides and I am thrown back to the night I met Eris. But now I stand in a large room with my mother and soon to be mother in law while one of the Lady of Autumn's Ladies maids places me into the extravagant white dress that had been designed for today.
Today I was finally marrying Eris 5 years after our first meeting. And while five years is fleeting to the Fae it seems like it had been dragging on forever. There was one final thing that needed to be added before the look was completed. The tiara that my soon to be father in law had made for me as a small wedding gift and attached to it a veil that trailed even further than the train of my dress.
A soft knock on the door draws the attention of the Lady of Autumn
“Excuse me my lady, but it is time.” I hear my fathers voice on the other side of the door.
“Ok just give us one second.” She responds, turning to face my mother and I. The maid had just placed the final pin in my hair securing the surprisingly heavy tiara to my hair.
“Are you ready dear?” She asks softly. Tears welling up in her eyes as she looks at me
“I’ve been ready since our first outing.” I stand and move towards the door where my father stands in silent shock
“You look beautiful my love.” He wipes a tear away “Let's go get you married.”
I let out a little laugh as the four of us made our way to the throne room. The lady of autumn are the first to enter quickly making their way to their respective seats. A few heartbeats later a gentle harp starts and the doors to the throne room are thrown open. I get my first true look at my husband who hasn’t turned to face me as Autumn court tradition dictates he is flanked by the second eldest Vanserra son. Beron rises from the throne gesturing for my father to walk me towards my groom. It isn’t until my father placed my hand in Eris’ that he is allowed to look. While his face is schooled into a neutral position I can feel the love pouring down the bond as he takes in the moment.
“I love you forever.” He whispers to me down the bond
“And I love you Forever and a day.” I reply refraining from leaning over and kissing him.
The ceremony flies by and before I knew it Beron is tying our hands together in an act as old as the Autumn court itself. I repeat the things that Beron tells me too and soon enough I hear the words I had waited 5 years to hear
“Eris you may kiss your bride.” And In that moment Eris breaks his stoic nature and pulls me into a deep kiss for all in attendance to see.
50 years never seemed like a long time. With Eris 50 years seemed to fly by without consequences. But these last 50 years had been absolute hell being separated from my mate. Everything had happened so fast that night, one moment I had been getting ready to join Eris and the rest of the Vanserra’s for a party hosted by Hybern’s general, next I was being whisked away by the night court's shadow singer. I hadn’t realized at the time that it would be the last time I would see Eris for 50 years. I spent the next 5 decades trapped in a hidden city in the Night Court. While their High Lords inner circle was nice to me in my time there. I would have rather been with my mate. I could occasionally feel Eris down the bond but those moments were fleeting. The moment we could feel the wards come down I made the move to winnow back to my home. I could finally feel my mate Landing outside of the forest house. I stopped for a moment to take in home; the crisp Autumn air, the colorful leaves and the gentle crunch as I raced towards the place that had become home to me. I yank on the bond that I am able to feel for the first time in 50 years. I feel Eris tug in response and follow the pull.
There standing in the great hall looking paler than the last time I saw him was my mate. I completely forego all decorum as I throw myself into his arms. I take a deep breath; breathing in Eris spicy scent that is riddled with the undertones of damp rock
“My mate… my mate your back your finally back.” I sob into his neck for a while. I thought that I would never see him again.
I feel Eris take a small step back before oh so gently grabbing my chin tilting my head up to meet his cinnamon gaze
“How could I forget those beautiful eyes?” The softest smile graces his face “ They always take me by surprise.” He leaned down peppering my face with butterfly kisses
“I missed you, my love. I missed your face. I missed your smile. I missed everything about you.” He continues peppering my face in kisses as he pulls me back into a crushing hug
“I love you forever, Eris.” I whisper against his lip
“ I love you forever and a day.” He replies kissing me deeply
It was the dead of night, the residents of the forest house all seemingly asleep. We sat on the bed in shock at what the healer had told us.
A child.
He had sworn the healer to secrecy before throwing wards around me. Eris didn’t want any of his remaining younger brothers to even catch wind of this pregnancy.
We were bringing a child into this world while his father still ruled the Autumn Court with an iron first.
“I’m scared.” I finally whispered the words out loud. I had to watch Beron beat his children into submission and pit them against one another. It was only by the grace of his mother that Eris is even mildly wildly adjusted.
“I will handle it. Stay here.” He places a soft kiss on the top of my head before strolling out of the room
“Eris…” My protest died with the slam of the door. Thirteen heads pop up at the sound of the door. The hound Eris had got me for our engagement trots up to me . No longer a puppy, the large hound places its head in my lap in an attempt to comfort me.
My thoughts race back to Lucien and his lover. Watching my father in law order her execution forcing poor Lucien to watch and then sending the rest of his children after their youngest brother. What if that happens to Eris and me… and our unborn child my stomach churns at the thought. No no everything will be fine… It has to be
There is one thing that they never really tell you when you are growing up since it is so rare for a High Lord to die, and that is you can feel it. It felt like a shock wave rushing through the forest house and suddenly there was panic. The once sleepy halls of the forest house sprang to life in a matter of seconds. Nobles and servants rushing about in panicked waves.
Shadows pooled in our rooms and all twelve hounds focused on the portal that was forming. Out of it walks two familiar faces, One the Warrior who had whisked me away to the Night Court before Amarantha’s reign and the second was the High Lord of the Night Court
“Just like Eris to rush in completely foregoing the plan.” Azriel, yes that was the name he gave me all those years ago, growled out.
“Well its too late now, the plans fucked but he got the results he wanted.” The High lord took one step further into the room to be met with a growl.
“Ah Lady Vanserra.” Rhysand gives me a warm smile “I think we all need to go talk to your husband.”
I let out a sharp whistle calling the hounds off “Yes we probably do.”
Rhysand and Azriel make their way towards the doors to my chambers. It seems surreal trailing behind the two as the fea that had been scrambling in the halls part to the sides giving us a wide breadth. We make our way to the throne room people ,moving every which way in confusion. On the way I see my parents standing in the door to their rooms looking at me confused as I follow Rhysand and his spy master. When Azriel throws open the door to the throne room we are greeted with a shocking sight. There sitting on his fathers throne is Eris coated in blood. My mother-in-law standing slightly behind the throne also coated in a fair amount of blood looking paler than I had ever seen her but oddly relieved. Keeling on the floor bound and surrounded by guards are the Three remaining Vanserra brothers.
I rushed over to my mother-in-law's side to check her over. She pulls me into a hug whispering “Its over, its over, its finally over” into my shoulder. I watch as Eris’s brothers are hauled out of the room by the Guards who had been loyal to Eris
Listening in to the conversation between my mate and the Highlord is shocking
Beron is dead.
Eris is the new High Lord of Autumn
We are finally free of that monster. We can raise our child without that storm cloud above us. Tears run down my face in relief. Yeah the transition will be hard but that is a problem for later for now all I can feel is relief
After some time Rhysand and Azriel leave and Eris makes his way over to me. He wraps me up tightly in his arms placing a kiss to the top of my head
“I love you.” He whispers into my hair, voice trembling, “Both of you” one hand makes its way down to rest where our child is growing in my womb.
“And we love you forever and a day.” I lean up and give him a soft kiss.
Pregnancy was rough. Nobody ever tells you that until it's too late and you are already miserable. Labor though Labor was torturous. 14 hours I had been in labor. The day had started simply enough with a nice stroll with my mate around the forest house but around lunch time the contractions had started and it only got worse. They tell you birth is painful and it's dangerous but I had underestimated just how painful it was as I pushed with the contraction. Eris, who was sitting behind me kept whispering in my ears how proud he was of me and that it was going to be over soon just one push and then it would be over. I had stopped believing him after the fifth time he said just one more. I slumped back against his chest.
“I can't do this. I can't do this.” I babble shaking my head anticipating the next wave of pain
“You can do this love. Just one more push and you will have our babe in your arms.”
“You said just one more push the last five times.” I wail as push with the next wave of pain. I felt the rush and relief of pressure followed by the screams of the babe.
“It's a girl.” The midwife laughed as she placed the screaming babe on my bare chest
“A girl.” I hear Eris whisper behind me, turning my head to kiss me.
“I love you.” I whisper turning to look at our beautiful babe squirming and crying in my arms
“I love you forever and a day.” If I feel tears falling on my head I’m not going to say anything
“We have a baby girl.” I whisper not taking my eyes off her. She moves towards the sound of my voice eyes wide with wonder as she takes in Eris and I
“Rozalyn. Her name should be Rozalyn.” Eris states moving to brush a hand over the barley existent red hairs on her head
“Welcome to the world baby Rozalyn.” I lean down to place a kiss on her head.
It's odd how quickly time passes and how that small babe grew up to be the female that she is today. The heir of the Autumn court beloved by the citizens of the court. Eris and I made sure to give Rozalyn and her sibling the best life that we could. One vastly different than how Eris and his brothers were brought up. We laugh as we watch the High lord chase the two little faelings around the room as they screamed in joy when he caught up to the snatching one of them in each arm.
“Grandpa put us down.” The youngest laughs when Eris spins around a few times, drawing squeals of laughter. He quickly sets them down when they yell out that they're too dizzy. I watch as the elder of the two spots Roz from her perch on the arm of my throne
“Mom!!” the two yell out racing over to where the two of us sit. It is odd to hear mom and not have people running to me instead they are running to my own baby.
“Hey babies.” She hops off the throne and kneels down to catch the two in her arms
“Did you guys behave for Grandma and Grandpa?” she questions the two who nod. “ Alright well we need to head home so say bye.”
I stand from my throne and kneel down ready to catch my grandchildren in my arms
“Bye bye Grandma.” THey wrap their arms around me as I squeeze them tight
“Goodbye my loves. I will see you soon.” I place a kiss on the top of their heads “I love you.”
“I love you too they respond in synch before dashing off to repeat the process with their grandfather
I wrap my arms around Rozalyn giving her a tight hug. “I love you baby, and I will see you soon.
“Love you too Mom.” She responds, hugging me back “I will see you and Dad later.”
She goes and gives Eris a hug goodbye before winnowing herself and the kids back to their cottage. I stare at the space where they had just vanished, not sensing Eris behind me until his arms wrapped around my waist.
“What are you thinking about my love.?” He ask resting his chin on my shoulder
“Just our story and how we got to this point in our lives
“Well I wouldn’t have wanted to do it with anyone else.” He kisses my temple
“Me either.” I turn in his arms to face him almost immediately, getting lost in his cinnamon eyes “ I love you forever.”
“And I love you forever and a day.” He leans down kissing me passionately.
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Hope Is A Fickle Thing
🎶 I've been keeping a seeeecreeeeet... 🎶
HELLO @yanny-77!! I have lied, schemed, and manipulated (with so much love) my way through the @acotargiftexchange to ensure I could deliver you the most perfectly curated fic possible. It was an absolute honor to be your Satan this gift exchange, and I hope you love this fic: an Empyrean angst inspired Azris calamity of errors featuring as much sword lore as I could wrap my head around. -Love, your Satan 😈🖤
Eris travels to the Night Court to surprise Azriel, hoping to sneak in a romantic rendezvous. Unfortunately, the night goes horribly awry. How many members of the Inner Circle will walk in on them? Guess we’ll find out.
***This fic takes place post HOFAS and includes spoilers for the Crescent City series.
***This fic contains direct quotes from Fourth Wing and Iron Flame woven in as parts of the plot. How many can you find?
Read a snippet below or start the full fic on AO3!
Running a hand through his hair to wrestle the short strands back into place, Eris let out a determined sigh. His steps echoed through the wide, empty halls deep within the Forest House as he set out toward his room. The day had been long and advisors more tedious than ever; pushing back against Eris’ attempts to prepare Autumn for his eventual reign. Beron still sat atop the throne, High Lord in title, though his power waned. Each day Eris felt a new trickle join his amassing magic and he knew it would not be long before he’d need to make his move. All but one of his younger brothers stared at him with hungry eyes, anxious to steal what was rightfully his. Pushing open his door, Eris tried to act unsurprised by what he found. His youngest brother lounged before the fire, long legs draped over the chair’s arm. Eris groaned internally, struggling to keep his eyes from rolling. He’d been hoping to unwind by himself for a moment, but no matter; he could prepare for what came next with or without Lucien there. “Who let you in?” Eris asked, voice monotone in an attempt to disguise his disgruntled state. Lucien scoffed, righting himself in the chair. “Why, I let myself in. You did get father to lift my banishment after the war.” “Stop making me regret that.”
Continue reading on AO3.
Thank you to @suebswrites for being the absolute best spy and beta, and to @climbthemountain2020 for betaing and being the most supportive mod! Shout out to Vanth for connecting me with Suebs in the first place!
Let me know if you want on or off the taglist! @pippsmcgee @born-to-riot @chunkypossum @bubybubsters @queercontrarian @yanny-77 @fieldofdaisiies @iftheshoef1tz @secret-third-thing @jules-writes-stories @the-darkestminds @climbthemountain2020 @amalhe-kofee @molcat07
#azris#azriel#eris vanserra#acotar fanfic#acotar gift exchange 2024#LD writes#LD HIAFT#cassian#nesta archeron#nessian#lucien vanserra#valkyries#acotar#acowar#acosf#hofas spoilers#cc hofas#sword lore#morrigan#fourth wing#iron flame#the empyrean
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Spirit Meets the Bones XXXIV
Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse. Author’s Note: Thank you for reading <3 I hope you enjoy this next chapter and where the story is going :)
thank you @riorsonxaden for always being my beta <3
tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @vanserrass / @positivewitch / @animezinglife / @zenkindoflove / @rosewood-cafe / @clockwork-ashes / @carnythian / @secret-third-thing / @runningwiththeoceans / @that-golden-lyre / @thedarkinmansfield / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @mali22 / @readthelastpaage / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @eastofatlanta / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @feysandfeels / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @gracie-rosee / @mage-neve / @illyrianvalkyrie / @saint-stella / @carolynmezzosoprano / @rainbowsnowflake / @queenoftheworld1998 / @wolvesnravens / @lalaluch /
Find it all here.
The morning had arrived in a blink and proceeded to be a whirlwind.
The Forest House was fueled in chaos as final preparations for the Autumnal Equinox ball took place, and the house staff and sentries were coming and going to make everything perfect.
Eris had never been this on edge in his whole life, and he had survived Under the Mountain. A mix of dread and restrained panic pumped through his veins, but the leash he had on himself was held tight. He and his brothers had one moment this morning—they shared one glance across the room to ensure everything was going accordingly, that Mikel's signal ensured Theo, Cosette, and Helene were fine, and then dispersed to go about getting ready.
Now, Eris stood in his bedroom, fixing his cufflinks as he glanced at himself in the mirror then smoothed his hair on the side and adjusted his crown. He looked every bit of the favored Prince of the Autumn Court in a fitted dark maroon suit, golden embroidery decorating the sides of his coat. A suit he wore like armor, that told the people of his court that he may follow his father’s every word but he was power. His suit, the crown, and the devilish smile he wore like a mask – one he wore so well to hide the true purpose of this night. A purpose he’d prepared for in three different ways: a bandolier under his jacket, the Made dagger given to him long ago by the Night Court sheathed at his side, and his magic. Did he truly believe he needed weapons when his magic thrummed so violently beneath his skin, itching to be released? No. But when it came to taking down Beron Vanserra every moment, every measure counted.
He made himself take a deep breath. He would dress to impress, regardless of how many people he’d run his blade into tonight.
“Help me with my dress?”
Eris turned and at the sight of his wife, his head emptied.
His beautiful, beautiful wife.
She knocked the wind out of him on any given day but gods fucken damn it, did she look magnificent dressed up.
Iris stood before him in a beautiful maroon A-line dress. It was lace covered in a mix of sequins and beading with full sheer sleeves and if the cinched waist didn’t do him in, the modest sweetheart neckline giving him a teasing glance at her cleavage certainly would. She smiled at his reaction and Eris took another moment to admire the light makeup dusting her face and the styling of her hair. Her eyes were lined with light kohl, her blush giving her a lovely glow, and the terracotta shade coloring her lips made him want to desperately ruin it. His eyes zeroed in on the delicate necklace of olive branches he had left as a suggestion with her dress and his wretched heart swelled that she had actually worn it.
Eris was certainly particular about his appearance and his wife matched his vision exactly.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you with your hair up,” he commented quietly.
“Do you like it?” she asked shyly and Eris’s smile was soft in a way it only was with her, especially when his eyes locked on the tiara he had chosen specifically for her to wear.
“Oh, I love it,” he replied, his soft smile blooming into his signature smirk. “Dare I say, you look absolutely delicious.”
Iris flushed prettily, lifting her nose in the air. “Only delicious?”
Eris chuckled, a hand reaching out to gently touch a curl framing her face. “You look like a goddess of autumn,” he murmured, his smirk softening again. “And I am but your humble devotee.”
Iris couldn’t help the rapid beating of her heart at his compliment, her flush deepening. “If you keep being nice to me, I’ll be forced to be polite to you.”
“Heaven forbid you be polite to your mate. How dare I,” he said with a snort and Iris flipped him off, earning her a chuckle. He gestured for her to turn, regretting it almost immediately at the scooped neckline of the back as well, more of her skin on display. Before he could stop himself, Eris traced a hand down the bareness of her back and Iris shuddered beneath his touch, glancing at him over her shoulder, her eyes narrowing playfully.
“Don’t you start touching. We won’t be able to stop,” she warned and Eris’s grin was full of male smugness.
They had spent last night all over each other and this morning, Eris had awoken to Iris’s hand sliding down his body and they lost another hour exploring each other.
It had been very hard for them to stop.
And now, like any respectable husband, he couldn’t help but leave a featherlike kiss on her exposed skin before calmly zipping up her dress.
When she turned back to him, the two stood face to face, taking each other in quietly, and the longer he looked at her, the harder he had to fight the anxious dread wrapping around his chest like barbed wire. Gods, he had so much to lose.
This day may have been a long time coming for Eris but he had never thought he’d have someone by his side through it all. Someone who was all his. His Iris, who watched him with that knowing look, read into his emotions better than anyone else.
He never thought he’d be understood. And yet, as Iris stood before him, despite all that would happen today, the tentative smile she gave him soothed his jagged soul. He felt a fluttering of peace in his chest. He felt her.
This was the closest to heaven Eris knew he’d ever be.
“You really do look beautiful,” he said softly and the smile bloomed further on her face. “A crown suits you.”
“Thank you. My husband has a good eye,” she said, taking in his suit and how it lined his body so well. She couldn’t help but reach a hand and run it down his arm and somehow, Eris felt his body relax. “You look…”
“Handsome? Dashing?”
Iris rolled her eyes. “If you’d give me a second to compliment you, you’d know,” she said and swatted his chest gently. His answering grin was so boyish, she wanted to kiss him senseless. “But you do look very handsome.”
“And dashing?”
“Very dashing,” she confirmed and let her gaze slide over his body again. “You look so very royal.”
“I am a Prince, you know,” he said and Iris snorted.
“A prince of being a pain in the ass.” she muttered and his answering smirk made her blood heat.
“Well, we haven’t really had a chance to explore –”
“Do not finish that sentence.”
Eris couldn’t help his wicked chuckle and Iris shook her head, fighting back a smile.
The words that had sat on the tip of her tongue for weeks now threatened to burst out of her but Iris held, even as her cheeks flushed lightly. She wasn’t foolish. She’d read stories upon stories of what love felt like. She’d yearned for years. Never truly believing love would find her or something she would experience.
Yet, Iris knew exactly where her heart stood and despite how their story may have begun, she knew there was no doubt in her mind of what she felt for her husband. Her husband who would be walking into a battlefield at this ball, who could use a moment of peace – a little distraction.
Eris’s brows furrowed as he looked at her but Iris only leaned up to give him a chaste kiss before pulling away. She couldn’t stop herself from running a hand down his suit again before clearing her throat and giving him a small, shy smile. “I have a gift for you.”
He blinked in surprise. “A gift?”
“Yes,” she said with a chuckle and turned to walk over to their vanity, pulling out a small box from the top drawer. “It is the Autumn Equinox and regardless of what is happening today, it is a day to celebrate so I wanted you to have a little something.”
She turned to find his expression carefully blank as color spread across his face and Eris cleared his throat before quietly saying, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know.” she replied then licked her lips before continuing, “But you…you give me so much. I wanted to give you something from me.”
Eris felt his heart nearly crumble. He didn’t know what to do with himself. What to do with his hands. In the middle of all this chaos…she had thought of getting him a gift. Eris had certainly gotten her a gift but hadn’t expected anything from her in return. His windpipes threatened to crash on him.
He glanced at the rectangular box and said so quietly, “I can’t remember the last time I received a gift.”
Her expression softened. “Well, I hope you’ll like this one then,” she said and Eris slowly took the box from her, his eyes never leaving the gift. “I had it custom-made from your mother’s favorite jeweler.” She waved her hand excitedly. “Open it!”
At her tone, he finally looked up from the box she’d given him to catch her wide smile and Eris felt his heart spasm at how beautiful she truly was. Gods…he had to be so pathetically obsessed to feel a little breathless at how her face seemed to brighten when she looked at him. How she kept smiling at him. At him, of all people.
He couldn’t stop his mouth from curling upward as she watched him and Eris took a breath as he slowly, almost reverently, opened his gift and then blinked rapidly before glancing up at his wife.
Iris’s smile turned sheepish. “I know you usually wear your insignia on your armor but I wanted to give you something a little more…subtle to wear for nights like these,” Iris explained, blushing slightly. “A way to keep the pups with you.”
Eris felt the tips of his ears heat as he glanced down at the gold chain lapel brooch. The two pins were adorned with leaves, one engraved with his initials and the other had his insignia of two baying hounds. “Iris…”
She shrugged, her blush deepening. “It’s not easy to get a gift for someone who pretty much has everything but I hope you find it worthy of your fashion sense,” she said and let out a little chuckle but Eris had to swallow hard, emotions bubbling in his chest.
He was going to vomit.
“Thank you,” he whispered and Iris felt her chest ache.
“You're welcome,” she said with a smile. “Consider it a good luck charm.”
Her tone was as quiet as his own and Eris felt himself drowning. He had woken up overwhelmed – his head had barely been above the water for weeks. The night had barely begun and this unexpected gesture was the one threatening to send him over the edge.
“I think…” he began then paused. Eris felt his face heating and he had to clear his throat as the words he never thought he’d live long enough to confess to anyone slowly formed in his mouth, “Marrying you seems to be all the good luck I need.”
Color stained her cheeks as Iris’s heart beat to an erratic rhythm that seemed to match his own. She had been nothing important to anyone. She had lived her whole life as a ghost, alone.
And now she was supposedly a prince’s good luck. She was the wife and mate of a future High Lord. Iris couldn’t put into words just how much this meant. How it made her swell with pride to be held in such high regard to him. So she gave him a half smile and said, “Even with the constant stabbing threats?”
His chuckle was breathless, his throat tight. “I think you’ll find I don’t mind a little knife play.”
“Kinky.” she whispered and the corner of his mouth lifted in a wry smile.
He held up his box. “Will you do me the honor of putting it on for me?”
Iris grinned, taking the box from his hand, and gently started pinning it in place. Eris stood still beneath her touch and tried not to be too obvious as he breathed in her scent. Tried to keep his stupid hands from shaking as she focused on pinning the brooch into his lapel.
It didn’t help that he scented himself all over her. To know how their scents mingled in the one place he didn’t have to glamour them.
He had to breathe deeply to calm his raging heart, to resist the urge to wrap himself around her and not let go. All that was to come…there were so many things that could go wrong. So many ways she could get hurt –
“There. All set.” Iris ran a hand over his jacket and stepped back with a knowing smile.
Eris watched her for a moment and he couldn’t help the heat rising through him, his blood set aflame at her smile. At her thoughtfulness, knowing today would be hard enough as it is. And though she was barely a step away from him, he gestured with a finger for her to come closer, “Come here.” he murmured and the blush in her cheeks deepened as instead, she took a step back.
“I don’t trust that tone.” she said, her eyes narrowed in suspicion and he huffed out a dark chuckle, his gaze turning molten.
“You don’t trust your husband?” he teased in a low tone that made her pulse race.
“Not when he’s talking to me in a tone that suggests whatever he’s going to do will ruin my hair or makeup.”
At that, Eris couldn’t help his quiet laugh, making Iris’s lips twitch and it never ceased to amaze him how she could ease him in moments like this; the way she always knew what he needed to calm his raging head and heart. “What if I promise not to ruin either of them?” he asked, his small smirk sending a thrill down her spine.
“You are saying words but the tone of that promise suggests the opposite,” she said and narrowed her eyes again, pointing at him. “You have your lying face on.”
He snorted in disbelief. “My lying face?”
“Yes. It’s when you smirk and look like a posh princess. You’re lying.” she said matter-of-factly. “You will ruin my hair and makeup and I will not stand for it.”
His smirk widened and Iris’s toes curled at the sheer arrogance in his gaze. “Fine,” he said and Eris took that little step closer to her until they shared a breath and Iris had to tilt her head to meet his eyes, her lips twitching. “I will keep my hands and mouth to myself and you can kiss me.”
“Oh? Is that all you were going to do?” she asked a tad breathlessly and the slight roguish smile was like a branding on her skin. Gods, she wanted to tackle him.
“Of course,” he said and his tone was so sincere, Iris’s lips twitched again. “I only want a kiss for good luck.”
Iris pursed her lips, trying not to laugh at the devilish look on his face, heat pooling low in her stomach. “Well, how am I supposed to deny you that?”
“The idea here is that you won’t.”
“Ah, but what if I did – to make you pant a little?” she teased and he made a displeased noise.
“But what if you don’t, and in return I give you the gift I have for you?”
Iris blinked then flushed happily. “You have a gift for me?” she asked in a hushed tone and her fingers went to the necklace at her throat. “I thought the necklace was a gift!”
He shrugged as nonchalantly as possible and without his eyes leaving hers, slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out a square velvet box. “Our first Autumn Equinox together and you think I didn’t prepare a gift for you?” he said with a chuckle. “I’m not one to spit on traditions. You just stole my thunder, little gazelle.”
Iris sucked in a breath, her eyes widening, glancing at the box and then back at him. Another beat of silence passed before she whispered, “And what might that be?”
Eris felt the tip of his ears heat again as he swallowed. “You made a comment a few weeks ago about how I never proposed to you,” he said and the corner of his mouth curled up as color stained her cheeks. “Many things about how this marriage began were stolen from us but…I don’t want this to be one of them.”
And Iris felt herself softening all over again. “Eris…”
He shrugged one shoulder. “You and I have the basic traditional bands but I wanted you to have a ring worthy of your healer hands,” he said and Eris had to work his throat before continuing, “I daresay I think it’ll sparkle nicely as you play the piano too.”
A choked laugh slipped from her lips and she shook her head in disbelief. He hadn’t even opened the box and Iris already knew she’d love whatever kind of ring was in there.
“We could’ve waited on that,” she said but Eris only hummed.
He didn’t want to ruin the moment by explaining that he had also wanted to wait on it. His original plan was to propose to her after he became High Lord, starting that new chapter of his life with her the right way. In a way she deserved.
But nothing was guaranteed. And Eris didn’t want to have any regrets when it came to her.
“Why wait when we already know your answer?” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly as Iris huffed out a laugh.
“That is not a proposal.”
He lifted a brow. “And how is this not up to your standard?”
“You holding out the box and telling me you already know the answer is not a proposal, Eris.” she said with a choked laugh.
“Are you really going to say no?”
“Well, I might now.”
Eris couldn’t help his eye roll despite the twitch of his lips. “Your resistance is pointless. We both know you can’t live without me.”
“Wow,” she said with a hum. “There you go projecting your delusions again.”
Eris was fighting back every instinct in him not to laugh as he cooled his expression, grateful — always grateful for these moments with her. Moments when he could laugh. “If that’s your answer, the ball will be filled with quite a few potential brides I could —”
Her hand flew out to yank him by his lapel and his answering smirk was filled with male satisfaction. “Don’t you dare finish that thought,” she warned. “Continue with your botched proposal before I pull out my knife and stick it somewhere you won’t like.”
Eris’s eyes lit with delight. “I think I like this color on you, wife.”
Iris shook her head, the beat of her heart as wild as his own and as she shared a breath with her very annoying husband, it struck her that this was exactly the kind of proposal they would have.
“Aren’t you supposed to be down on one knee?” she asked with a raised brow and Eris’s gaze turned molten.
“You’d like me on my knees, wouldn’t you?”
“Just as I think you like to be there.”
Eris had to restrain himself from leaping at her for the way she knew exactly how to tease him, how to distract him. Gods, he really was in love with her.
And so he did something he’d never really imagined himself doing at any point in his life.
Without breaking her gaze, Eris slowly slid to one knee and held up the box. His hand was somehow steady as he opened the lid and relished in Iris’s small gasp.
“Oh. Oh, wow.”
The ring was exactly what he had imagined for Iris. It had been custom-made and Eris had nearly sent the jeweler into cardiac arrest with how picky he had been. Given how his wife was staring at it in delight, he knew it had been worth it.
He wouldn’t have settled for anything less.
Iris couldn’t help but feel her emotions bubbling inside as she stared at the ring. All at once, she was equal parts thrilled and pained, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears threatening to escape. All because this male – this male who she was once so terrified of being in the same room as, had somehow by the fate of the cauldron, become much more. Had remembered a throwaway comment of hers and hadn't hesitated to make it a reality.
For most of Iris's life, she had been neglected. Never taken seriously, never worth anyone's time, barely thought of. Until Eris. Until this time with him.
She would never take a moment of this for granted.
“Well?” he asked her and the look he gave her made Iris’s heart unfurl in a type of joy she had always yearned for. Today would be hard and what came after was unknown. But this, here with him? This would be the constant. Now and forever.
“I thought you knew my answer.” she said with a small smile that he returned.
“All that complaining and yet you still won’t actually say yes.” he teased quietly and Iris couldn’t help her soft laugh, brushing her thumb to his cheek.
“How could I say anything but yes with such a handsome male on his knees for me?”
Eris’s gaze was smoldering as he stood and again, the heat pooling in Iris’s stomach tightened. They watched each other quietly and despite the feverous energy between them, it always did soften in the silence. Eris could read all the emotions crossing her face and knew his wife’s internal struggle matched his own; it was all too much. There was too much at stake. Too much on the line but this ring…he wanted her to know just how much of a choice she was. And that bridge between them – it had held strong despite how long it had taken them both to find each other.
It held as they chose each other over and over again.
Iris held out her hand and slowly, Eris slid the lovely ring on her finger.
Their mating bond seemed to vibrate at their shared smile and Iris couldn’t stop herself from finally leaning in and kissing him quickly, a hand touching his face.
And as it fell silent between them again, her thumb continued caressing his cheek, the words – those feelings that had been haunting Eris for weeks, clogged his throat. He took in her beautiful face and as desperately as he wanted her to know, he wanted to savor it a little longer. For a moment better than this.
But he could hear it in the silence between them. He knew she could too.
Eris glanced down at his hand in hers, the ring gleaming, and the corner of his mouth lifted. “I told you it would suit you,” he said quietly then looked up. “Do you like it?”
“It’s stunning, Eris,” she replied and squeezed his hand. “In fact, it’s almost too nice for me.”
His brows flattened. “And why would you think that?”
“Daughter of a fiend, remember?” she said with a weak chuckle and Eris’s gaze narrowed.
“You have nothing to do with that fucker anymore,” he said firmly. “You’re my wife. You are mine. And once a Vanserra, always a Vanserra.”
Iris couldn’t take her eyes off him, his expression so serious and gods, her heart wanted to leap out of her chest at how he claimed her. Someone who cared for her this deeply was all she ever craved, all Iris had ever wanted. And he was standing right in front of her.
She knew what this gesture meant to him – those words — that no matter how this night ended, she was his and he would be hers. In actions, in words, and with a bond that wrapped around them as lovingly as the ring on her finger.
“Once a Vanserra, always a Vanserra,” she repeated softly then took a breath, straightening her shoulders. “And as a Vanserra, am I as demure as usual or do we get to be ourselves?”
Eris watched her carefully for a moment then squeezed her hand in his. “If by being yourself you mean tossing a chair at someone, I’d ask you to refrain from that,” he said and Iris swatted his chest gently. Despite the heaviness of what was to come slowly tightening his chest again, he focused on his mate. “But if you mean, we try to enjoy being dressed up and dancing as we execute a murder, then yes – let’s do that.”
Her lips twitched. “So no cowering wife today?”
“Never again,” he promised solemnly. “Today…we ignite.”
And as they watched each other once more, the silence between them slowly shifted, sobering, as the minutes ticked by. Iris’s expression dimmed and she forced herself to take a deep breath.
She squeezed his hand and Eris glanced down at the ring shining on her finger, working his jaw as he held her hand tightly. “Whatever happens tonight, we will be alright.”
Eris couldn’t help how his expression tightened and without words, Iris knew he was thinking of the exact opposite outcome; it was almost as if he couldn’t help but expect the absolute worst and Iris couldn’t exactly blame him with so much on the line.
She opened her mouth to ease the tension, to bring back a little of that earlier distraction but Eris rolled his shoulders back, shifting gears.
“Your dagger is with you.”
“Yes.”
“Should anything happen, you use it. This night will be full of snakes. You will not be afraid and you will not hesitate,” he said, his expression darkening. “You will not worry about anybody else. Make anyone in your way bleed and run. I will find you.”
“But –”
“I will find you,” he repeated firmly, and then his tone softened. “I need you to take care of yourself.”
“I need you to take care of yourself too,” she whispered. “Promise me. Promise me you’ll do whatever you can to stay safe.” She gripped his arm, the sight of her pleading gaze a punch to his gut. “Please, Eris.”
His mouth went into a thin line before he sighed, knowing if she hadn’t been holding him, his hands would be trembling. “You know what we’re up against…but I will do my best,” he said quietly and though the answer made her chest feel tight, she nodded.
“That’s all I can ask.”
#eris vanserra#eris vanserra fanfiction#eris vanserra x oc#acotar fanfiction#gfics#smtb chapters#been a hot minute but anyway :)#a little shorter than the others but hope you still like :)#if you’d like to be tagged/untagged please let me know.
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The Shadow Stalker
Surprise! Here's my contribution to @acotargiftexchange . A gift for the wonderful @hieragalbatorixdottir . I've so enjoyed talking and getting to know you over the last several months. I hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 1: December
Summary:
A notorious killer is stalking the city of Prythian, killing from the shadows. After six months on the case, FBI Profiler Detective Eris Archeron still has no leads...Until he enters a seedy bar on the edge of the Forest House district and meets a man who will change his life forever.
Notes:
This fic is inspired by Hannibal, my giftee's favorite TV show. There will be depictions of gore and violence consistent with the show. Admittedly, I've only seen about five episodes but I hope I got the vibe and dynamic right.
Read Now on AO3
Words: 7,113 Chapter: 1/8 Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence Primary Relationship: Eris/Azriel Secondary Relationships: Eris/Nesta, Eris & Nesta Additional Tags: Alternative Universe - FBI, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, ethical non-monogamy, Marriage of Convenience, Explicit Sexual Content, Detective Eris, Killer Azriel, Dark Romance, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Read Now on AO3
Excerpt:
Cold wind battered Eris Archeron’s face as he surveyed the vicinity. It was a desolate area. There was nothing he could see for miles other than snowy hills, frosted fields, and lifeless trees. The sky above him was cloudy and gray, setting the tone for the grisly scene before him. Blood stained the white hilltop. There was no sign of tire tracks or footprints, other than those of the snowmobiler who’d called and the police who had responded. No clear, visible hints of the person who did this remained; not that Eris expected any from his killer.
Thanks to @suebswrites @iftheshoef1tz @born-to-riot and Niv for Beta and Edits!
Thanks to @acourtofladydeath for the medical consult!
Thanks to @vanthh for lending me her Canva skills
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