#erik karlsson deserves good things

[butterflyintochains]

The Pittsburgh Gambit

Fed up of the lack of good coaching and bad management, one of the 32 best hockey teams in the world band together, and go for the nuclear option. Something they didn't exactly want to do, but they're left with no other choice. With each other's support, and the backing of Mario, the league, and the PA. The Penguins pull the trigger, and decide to force management's hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is nothing short of a complete and utter clusterfuck. It should not have had to come to this. Truth be told, this shouldn't even be happening at all. But, it is happening, and they need to do this for their own good before anything else. They deserve better, their city deserves better, and their fans deserve better. So, fuck it, they're doing this, and they're doing this now. The morning after that 7-1 tragedy of a loss to Dallas, the core call a family meeting at Cranberry, without coaching staff or management allowed in. It's half past eight when Sid checks his watch, he's hedging his bets that no one slept much last night. He and Geno certainly didn't. Kris probably didn't either, and if Kris didn't, neither did Erik. Not that anyone would know it. Everyone takes their seats, the trio and Erik at the front of the room. Erik might not wear a letter, but nobody is going to tell Kris that, not today. ''Alright, boys, we all know why we're here, we need change, and need it now.'' Sid says, playing with his wedding ring.

Rusty looks to Sid, and asks. ''What's the plan? We follow you four.''

Kris bluntly says, pulling up a blank word document. ''We're all going on strike. So, until things change, no hockey, no training, nothing. I've been in talks with the PA about this for a couple of weeks, and they'll support us.''

Jack looks stunned, not quite what Kris and Erik wanted for his first real season, but, this is for him. ''We're striking? All of us?''

Erik nods, tying his hair up out of his face. ''All of us in this room, skatten mitt, until further notice, we're all striking. Kyle is failing us, Sully is failing us. So, we're hitting them where it hurts.''

Drew points out, his sunny self dimmed lately. ''What about the season? We're hosting Detroit tomorrow, right?'' Geno speaks up this time, the four of them speaking with one voice. ''It won't make a difference, luchik, we're already tied for last, what's a strike gonna harm?''

Sid says, stamping his place as captain right away, even if Kris is handling their little manifesto. ''Are we good to go on this? We're gonna need all of us in on this for it to work.'' Everyone nods emphatically, and Sid says. ''Kris, get typing.'' Kris puts the document on the big screen, and types up the introduction to their strike notice while everyone talks. This is the wildest thing he's ever done, including eloping to Sweden with Erik.

Fenway Sports Group, Kyle Dubas, and Coaching Staff. Exercising our rights as workers to collective bargaining and unionization, and led by Captain Sidney Crosby, Alternates Evgeni Malkin and Kris Letang, and Norris Winner Erik Karlsson. We, the Pittsburgh Penguins team, are officially going on strike effective today November 12th of 2024. As most would know, this season is quickly deteriorating, and we have missed two consecutive playoffs, and look set to miss a third. We would like it to be known that very little, if nothing at all, is being done to course correct this downward spiral. This is not a decision we have taken lightly, but this course of action appears to be our only choice. We sincerely apologize to our ever-loyal fans for letting them down the last couple of seasons, and assure them that this is not the end of our season. If our terms are met, we should be back on the ice in black and gold for them sooner than later.

Kris looks up from typing, and addresses the group. ''Right, here's our preamble, how does it look?''

Marcus reads it over, and nods. ''It's perfect, what next?'' Erik says, looking over his husband's shoulder. ''Our terms as a union. So, what are we after?''

Beauvillier mentions better management who will take action when it's needed, and be accountable to the team. Tristan mentions better coaches, the trio share a pensive look, they've served under Sully for a decade, but eras end, so it's added to the manifesto. ''Alright, looks good, boys, anything else?'' Sid asks, taking a look at things on the big screen.

Ricky says. ''Better press, I'm sick of the media people around us, except for Taylor and Michelle... they can stay.'' Everyone claps for him for saying this out loud. They've been sick of media for about a season now. Kris adds it to the document. ''Right: management, coaching, media, anything else?'' Kris asks.

Rusty proposes. ''I'd like In The Room back, so our fans can see us as people again.''

Kris nods, and adds it to the document. ''Alright, is that all?'' Nobody speaks up to add anything, so the terms are finalized.

Our terms for return to play are as follows: A change of management to a front office with our best interests at heart, and who will take accountability for mis-steps, and correct them accordingly. A complete change of coaching staff from the ground up, as much as we respect decade-long head coach Mike Sullivan, it's time for a new set of eyes. Greater checks and balances on what our media circle are allowed to ask our players, to protect their mental health and truth in reporting. And, finally, a return of In The Room so as to link us back to our fans the way we used to be.

Kris next drafts the outro to the manifesto, knowing once this gets posted online, everything changes.

Until our terms are met, there will be no hockey or training from our team members. This is not a choice we came to lightly, but it must be done to restore this team to the glory it once had. We feel supported in this by the NHLPA and by the wider NHL itself, as well as the perpetual support of our city and Mario Lemieux, and confident to move ahead with our labour strike. Best regards, The Pittsburgh Penguins Team.

Finally, the manifesto is done, and just needs somewhere to be posted. Drew proposes creating an instagram account for the team as a union, and Kris sets it up under Sid's email address. It's only right that it be linked back to the captain. Jack helps get the manifesto ready to post. ''Alright, are we ready to get going on this?'' Sid asks. Everyone cheers. ''Great, Kris, pull the trigger.'' Kris hits 'post' and adds the caption. ''An address to everyone.''

Geno checks his watch, and says. ''Right, as of now, we're on strike. Everyone, out.'' The whole team exit the training arena, acutely aware that they've just lit a fire in the organisation. Once back at their cars, Erik asks. ''Did we do the right thing?''

Sid says, fiddling with his watch. ''We did the only thing, Karl. Hopefully, it works.''

They all head home, it's weird, they should be training in two hours' time, but they're heading home instead. Kris leads Erik and Jack inside out of the cold, Buddha and Freya asleep by the fireplace, Penny nestled between them. Rusty and Drew will have no doubt gone over to Sid and Geno's place. ''So... that was... intense.'' Jack says.

Kris grabs a protein shake. ''Intense and necessary, mon dauphin, this will help you well into the future.''

Jack asks them, looking to his surrogate fathers for guidance. ''What happens now?''

Erik says, crashing into an armchair, leaning his head back. ''We do whatever we want, except for hockey.'' Which is even weirder, hockey players during the season who aren't allowed to play, they're all healthy, but there's something bigger to fight for now. And, they're in this fight together, as they always have been.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turns out, the strike is wildly popular with the fans and the rest of the hockey world, even the foreign leagues are backing them up, as well as the IIHF. Even the Capitals and Flyers are supporting them in this, which is nothing short of a miracle. No action has been taken on their list of terms yet, but one party will need to relent at some point. However, one is worried about their bottom line, the other is a group of pissed off and stubborn hockey players. Even Jagr out east in Europe has called them all to congratulate them on this. Kris' office is the base of operations for now, he's the only one with a link to the PA. Erik comes in with some tea for his husband, and asks him. ''Who's emailing you now, hjartat?'' Kris takes his mug in his stiff hands. ''Tyler Myers from Vancouver, amour. Said the Canucks are wishing us well in this. Fourth team rep this morning.'' A notification pings on his laptop, Kris rolls his eyes. ''Make that a fifth.''

Erik smiles, and says. ''You go downstairs and chill, I'll handle this.'' Kris furrows his brows, and asks. ''Are you sure, amour?''

Erik nods, and says. ''We're in this strike together, right?'' Kris stands from his seat, and pops his back, kissing Erik's lips. ''Best husband ever.''

Erik takes his seat, and says. ''Right back at you, sweetheart.'' Kris goes downstairs, where Jack is playing chess with Drew, little Penny tucked up in his lap. The black kitten is the apple of his eye. ''You winning, Ivy?''

Jack says, concentrated on the board. ''Dunno yet.''

Kris reads while the boys carry on their game, Erik gets down not too long later. Finally done with the business end of the day, hopefully. Sometime into the afternoon, after lunch, a knock comes at the door. Erik goes to answer it, a courier with a long package for them. ''For Mr Letang and Mr Karlsson.''

Erik takes it in one arm. ''Thank you.'' He says, closing the door again, he sets the package on the dining table, and opens it. The contents set his blood on fire. A bottle of his and Kris' favourite wine, with a note.

From your friend, Kyle.

Friend? Since when? Erik calls his husband into the dining room. ''Kris, come here, please?'' Kris comes to join him, scandalized at what he sees, he reads the note, and balls it up. ''That fucking snake.'' They got three days into the strike, and now the love bombing begins. ''How did he even... Jason, of course.'' Erik says, uncorking the bottle, and dumping the red liquid down the sink. The bottle is thrown away, the cork is washed, and given to little Penny to play with. The note is tossed into the fireplace, Kris calls Sid. ''Sid, have you and Geno gotten a bottle of whiskey and vodka today?''

Sid sounds confused, but says. ''Yeah, just now, one of each, why?'' Kris says. ''Dump them both down the sink, they're from Kyle. He sent us a bottle of wine. Jason told him our favourite.''

Sid sighs, and says. ''Thought he'd try this.'' He must set his phone down, because Kris hears the cracking of bottle lids, and liquid being poured down their kitchen sink. ''Okay, I've done it.''

Erik says. ''Get onto the rest, if he's done the same, they'll need to do as we've done.''

Sid affirms to his brother and brother-in-law. ''Will do, see you both tomorrow. Love you both, and Jack too.'' Kris almost forgot about dinner at the Crosby-Malkin household tomorrow evening. Kris says, swallowing heavily. ''We love you too, give Geno a hug for us. Godspeed, brother.''

Jack asks, looking up from his phone. ''We're gonna win this fight, right?''

Erik assures him, the future of the d-corps shouldn't need to ask these questions, but, here they are. ''We've got each other, of course we'll win.'' That's the crux of this, a family who love each other are fighting against an organisation. This always goes well in the movies, doesn't it? Kris takes Penny into his hands, she's getting a bit bigger now, but she still fits for now. ''We'll be just fine, they'll cave eventually.'' Kris tries to sound certain of things, tries to sound confident in this strike working, but they have no fucking idea how this is going to go. No individual team has done this before, they're effectively on uncharted territory right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some of the team are gathered the following evening at Sid and Geno's place for dinner. This is also serving as a sort of progress meeting. Mario has relayed to them that Fenway are breathing down Kyle's neck to step down, but he's not moving. That sick part of Sid's mind pictures Kyle barricading himself in his office, and refusing to come out. He's sure Kris has had the same thought. During dinner, which has had to be spread around the dining room and living room to accommodate everyone, Rusty's phone rings. He puts it on speaker, and answers it, looking around the room at his family. ''Bryan Rust, who am I speaking to?''

Elliotte Friedman says. ''Hey, Bryan, it's Friedman, I was wondering if you'd be up for an interview about the team's recent labour strike?'' That's one of their terms, no media until this is resolved. ''Sorry, Friedman, I'm not doing media until our terms are met.''

Friedman pushes, as all media people do, because they only exist as long as the players do. ''I'm sure you could waive that, Bryan.''

Sid speaks up, putting on his best captain voice. ''He said no interview, leave us be.'' Rusty hangs up, let him have that at least. They get back on with dinner, determined not to let the call spoil the good mood. It's weird, how free they all feel while on this strike, they're not working, and have their days to themselves. These team dinners wouldn't be happening otherwise. ''Anyone had any texts from them yet?'' Erik asks.

Beauvillier says. ''No, nothing on my end.'' Drew nods, putting his feet up on the coffee table. ''Me neither, it's like they know we're not going to negotiate.''

Marcus says. ''There's nothing to negotiate, is there? They know we've got them dead to rights, they know we're not moving. They can't trade all of us, can they?''

Kris nods, relaxing in an armchair, turning his wedding ring on his finger. ''I'm not going anywhere without my husband and brothers, bottom line. I played all those years without you, Erik, I'd not survive it a second time.''

Erik sits on the arm of Kris' chair, and takes his hand to kiss it gently. ''I'm not going anywhere away from you either, and if they get any ideas, I'll show them our wedding certificate.'' Sid says, looking lovingly at Geno. ''That's a good idea, Erik.''

Geno laughs, and kisses Sid's temple. ''Ours is in the bedroom, framed.''

Coming to a realization, the ball finally dropping about just what Kyle is up against with this strike, the four men who are the two great love stories in the league. Those two marriages, different, but equally strong, and the love for the team. ''Long live the Pittsburgh Power Couples, and the most dangerous quartet in this league.'' Ricky says.

Ned nods enthusiastically. ''Lead us to paradise, boys.''

While they're all chatting about what comes next in the coming days, Sid's phone rings. The room grows tense right away, dreading that call from Kyle or Mario, but Sid's glowing smile relaxes the room. He puts it to speaker. ''Good evening, superstar, how are you?'' It's Jake, thank God. Jake says, voice bright. ''Hi, guys! I'm good, Victor said he's proud of you guys. So am I, actually. How are you all doing? How's the strike working out?''

Geno says to their middle kid. ''We're doing just fine, lisichka. The strike is going well so far.''

Jake says. ''I couldn't believe it when I saw the statement, we were in a team meeting, and Shearsy said 'holy shit', and showed me his phone. It was such a shock.''

Kris says to his nephew. ''It was a shock to write, Jakey, but, it was necessary.''

Jake asks his family up north. ''Any progress on anything yet?'' Rusty says to his younger brother. ''Mario said Fenway are urging Kyle to step down and fire the coaching staff, but he's not budging. We've not been near the rinks in four days.''

Drew adds, informing his older brother. ''And, Rusty got asked for an interview this evening, we're on a media blackout too.'' Jake just laughs, probably wishing he could be part of this little thing with his family. ''Good for you! Victor and Kucherov can't stop talking about it right now.''

Erik asks, intrigued at what his best friend has been saying. ''What's Victor been saying, Jake?''

Jake says. ''He said he's really proud of you guys, and has been desperate to visit you all during this whole thing.'' He adds. ''Like, this is the first single team strike in history, and everyone is blown away.'' Sid says to Jake. ''Well, it's for the greater good, so it'll be worth it in the end.''

Jake says. ''I hope so, for all of your sakes. I'll let you guys go, love you guys!''

Geno says, smiling wide. ''We love you too, lisichka.'' Sid hangs up. Everyone heads home after that, further galvanized by the support they're receiving from the other teams. Something they never once expected to be given, and are eternally grateful for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of quiet days pass, six days of the strike, they've missed three games. No progress on their terms yet, but the team aren't backing off. No jerseys will be worn until things improve, no skates hit the ice, no sticks in hands. They're not open to negotiate, because there's nothing to negotiate. Management know what needs to be done, so it's on them to do it. Today, the core are meeting up at Mario's place. They're just done with lunch, and are chilling in the living room with coffee. The kids were going to come with them, but they decided on a movie day at Rusty's place. Sid takes a glance at his brother-in-law as they talk, Erik looks tired, like he barely slept last night. Erik rests his head on Kris' shoulder, and Kris runs his fingers through Erik's hair while talking with Geno. ''Are you okay, Erik?'' Mario asks, voicing his heir's concerns.

Erik nods, clearly enjoying his husband's attention. ''Yeah, took me ages to get to sleep last night, kept on having dreams about being split up from Kris.''

Geno says, voice tinged with compassion, he knows the pain those years caused Kris, those forced smiles for twelve years. He's had those anxieties himself, he'd never last a minute without Sid. ''I've had those dreams about me and Sid, they never get easier.''

Sid nods, taking Geno's hand in his. ''So have I, it's horrible, waking up in a cold sweat over something you know won't happen.'' He looks to Kris, and asks. ''What about you, Kris?''

Kris' eyes gloss over, he kisses Erik's head as though it's the Stanley Cup, it's not, Erik is more important. ''All the time, especially lately, with... everything we've set in motion. I just wake up, and see that Erik's next to me, and all is well again.''

Mario just sits back and listens to the boys, eminently aware that despite the greatness they've all reached, despite them all being well into their thirties, married, and surrogate parents for his grandkids. They're all still those boys from their draft years, nursing those same anxieties, and pack-bonded to each other in ways no one will ever understand. The two forwards who fell fast and hard for each other on the biggest stage possible. And, the two defencemen who had to nurture their own love in secret until so recently. They all deserve so much better than what they're getting, this strike has clearly been a long time in the making. It's then that Mario's phone rings. The quartet stop their conversation, and watch him leave the room to answer it. ''What are we thinking?'' Erik asks, suddenly alert despite the loving hand in his hair.

Sid swallows some coffee. ''I'd say, but I don't wanna jinx us.'' Geno asks, seeming expectant of the outcome they wanted. ''Do you think it's happening?''

Kris says, moving his hand to Erik's side. ''I guess we'll find out.'' There's a few minutes of silence, tense, hopeful, and desperate all at once somehow. ''Until death do us apart, Geno.'' Sid says, clearly expecting the worst.

Geno nods. ''For better or for worse, Sid.'' Sid leans over to kiss Geno's cheek.

Erik looks to Kris, and says. ''We are one when together, and we are one when parted, Kris.''

Kris leans his forehead against Erik's. ''We hold in our hands the making of this union, Erik.'' The wedding vows may seem a bit much, but they truly have no idea what this call is about. So, they retreat into them like a prayer. Mario comes back, a satisfied look on his face. ''Well, what's happening now?'' Sid asks.

Mario takes his seat again, and says. ''That was Fenway, there's a big announcement pending tomorrow, nothing to do with you four, or the others.''

The quartet share a look, they may have no idea what's coming, but whatever it is, it doesn't affect them. They should say this strike is working, that it's having the impact it was designed to have, but they have no idea of anything right now, and don't want to jinx anything yet. This is going to be a long evening, and an even longer night. These six days have been long and stressful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, the team all gather at Sid and Geno's house for lunch, and to await the big announcement from the team owners. Mario didn't say anything to any of them about what to expect, indeed if he even was told himself. The strike has now lasted a week, it's been a week since they held that secret meeting and lit that fire across the league. Today very much feels like the calm before the storm, but Maverick and Penny don't know that, neither do Sam, Buddha, and Freya. The cats are being fussed over by Ned and Tristan, Penny is still attached to that wine cork Kris gave her. Kyle's last ditch effort to get the two defencemen back on side, now is the kitten's favourite toy. ''Ives, does Penny not have any other toys to play with?'' Tristan asks.

Jack sits down with them, and pets his cat behind the ear as she likes. ''Yeah, loads, but she loves that cork for some reason.''

Marcus asks. ''How did she even get it? Where did it come from?'' Erik sighs, putting his phone away, he says. ''Kyle sent us a bottle of our favourite wine on day three of the strike. A last effort to get us back on side, I dumped it down the sink, Kris washed the cork, and now it's Penny's.''

Matt says, laughing at the gesture. ''That's cold, turning an olive branch into a cat toy.''

Geno says, finding the channel the announcement will be on. ''He sent me some vodka and Sid some whiskey as well. Kris and Erik told us to dump them, and we did.''

The announcement comes on, that press conference room flashing up on the TV screen. The team share a look between themselves, here they go, the point of no return. The Fenway people take their seats, and announce the immediate departure of Kyle Dubas from the organisation, and Mario will be assuming management duties until summer. ''Dubas has made an impact on this team in his short tenure as General Manager and President of Hockey Operations. Including the signing of three time Norris winner - Erik Karlsson. But, we, and the players alike, wish to move forward without him.''

Erik cocks an eyebrow, eyes darkening. ''Fucking liar, he's not why I'm here, my husband is.'' Kris just chuckles, and leans over to kiss Erik's cheek.

Seems like the only front office people staying are Amanda and Jason, everyone is going in this except them. They also announce that Mario will be looking for new coaching staff, from the ground up. But, no further news other than that. The broadcast ends. There's a cautiously triumphant air in the room now, that's one of their three most important terms reached. Now, they can sort of relax while waiting for further news. ''Well, looks like we're winning anyway.'' Rusty says.

Sid nods, ruffling Sam's ears. ''Yeah, we are, for once.''

Erik vents, rapping his fingers against his coffee mug. ''Can't believe that snake took credit for me being here, I'd have signed with any GM here. I didn't come here for him, or Jason, or a cup. I came here for you, Kris.''

Kris tries to calm his husband down, easier said than done sometimes, but he's the only person able to most of the time. ''I know that, darling, everyone knows that. And, we're together now, forever. And, we're winning.''

Anthony asks, picking at his fingernails. ''What do we do next?'' Sid says, matter of fact as always. ''Our strike doesn't end until at least the first three of our terms are met. It's been a week now, it can't be much longer, Mario always has a plan.''

Kris adds, voice tinged with both satisfaction and a laugh from Erik's little rant. ''We're a third of the way there, we just need to wait a bit longer.''

Drew asks, having never played under any other coach. ''Who'll be our new coaches, then?''

Geno shrugs, they're in truly uncharted waters for the first time in over a decade now, new management, and soon-to-be completely new coaching staff. ''No idea, luchik, guess we'll find out soon.'' Jack asks, also curious about how all of this will be playing itself out over the coming days. ''What if Kyle goes to media before we're allowed to again? You've gotta know he'll be all too willing to play the victim. Play into being a well meaning GM overthrown by his players.''

Erik simply states, sounding very much like the Senator he once was, the serious captain rather than the domesticated husband he is now. ''He goes low, we go lower, skatten mitt.''

Noel asks, a cheeky glint in his eyes. ''Is that your way of saying 'fuck around and find out', Karl?''

Erik nods, and states. ''Pretty much, yeah.'' Kris says, linking their arms. ''I'd say we've left 'fuck around' now, and are in the 'find out' stage of proceedings.''

They probably shouldn't be as pleased with this as they are, Kyle did seem to have good intentions, and they all loved Sully in their own ways. But, something broke when Jake left, trading Lars was a Rubicon the team didn't need to cross. Missing those two playoffs by a couple of points because of more of the same every year. Sometimes, things need to change, sometimes reality needs to be reckoned with. Now, a new era can begin, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Everyone leaves not long after the announcement, but the core hang back for a bit to talk in private. Some conversations have to happen for their ears only. If this strike has yielded them anything, it's a deeper reliance on each other. ''Our new era begins, I guess.'' Geno says, Maverick on his lap, the grey cat purring contentedly. Sid nods, turning his wedding ring on his finger as he does when deep in thought. ''It does, feels good already.''

Erik gets done clipping Freya's leash onto her collar. ''Good to see we had the right idea, shame it came to this, but I'm glad we did this before the rot could set in further.''

Kris ruffles Buddha's ears, instantly feeling the stress lift between the four of them. ''Shame to lose Sully and the rest, but they'll be fine elsewhere. We wouldn't be, and they knew it. Kyle threatening us was out of line.''

Sitting forward a bit, Geno says, a wry smile on his face. ''I'm impressed at how dangerous we are when we work together, y'know? Wonder what this would've been like if Flower was still here?'' Sid laughs at his husband's question. ''Absolute chaos, honey, absolute chaos.''

Erik says, one of his regrets about not coming here sooner. ''I'd have loved to play with Flower, he always annoyed me in Ottawa and San Jose.''

Standing from the sofa, Kris kisses him on the temple. ''He'd have shown you every single way to annoy me there is, mon amour.'' Erik shrugs, rising to his feet himself. ''Doesn't mean I'd have used them, hjartat mitt.''

Kris and Erik get going to their car, and get home. Jack is at his apartment this week, so it'll be just them and the dogs. Erik goes over to their award shelves once they're indoors, and picks up the ties from in front of their wedding picture. Turning them in his hand gently. ''Erik?'' Kris asks, placing his hand on Erik's back. Erik assures him, placing the velvet ties down in their place. ''Just... happy, that's all, Kris.''

Kris takes his hands, and says. ''So am I.'' They kiss, finally free of the constant trade anxiety they've been living in. Now, all they need to do is win the rest of their terms. And, they're back on ice together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The team are left in a kind of holding pattern for a couple of days. The first - and most important - of their terms has been met, and Mario will be in charge until at least summer. But, there's still no news on coaching staff, so there will be no return to play until the second and third terms are met. The core are now gathered together at Kris and Erik's house, mostly just to talk about where they go from here. Sid, Geno, and Erik are getting lunch together while Kris is answering a barrage of emails in the dining room. He's in desperate need of a backup PA representative, but it's just him for now. He's just done with an email from Jason Zucker in Buffalo, and gets to the email from Logan Couture in San Jose. Two of seven he's had today alone. Finally, he gets done with everything, and can put the laptop away. ''God, that was a marathon.'' He says to the rest as they sit down to lunch.

Sid asks, digging into his pasta. ''What are the PA saying?'' Kris forks some of his lunch, and says. ''Congratulating us on the progress so far mostly, and telling us to keep holding on. Stuff we already know, but it's good to have in our back pocket.''

Geno muses to the rest. ''Wonder if Mario has our new coaches yet?'' Erik drinks some water, and says. ''Probably, you all said he moves quickly, so we're probably going to find out soon.''

As if on cue, heir phones ding as Erik says that. A notification from Mario himself in a mass text to the whole team. He's somehow convinced Alain Vigneault to come out of retirement as interim head coach. Paul Coffey - all of whose records Kris has broken in his nineteen years as a Penguin - will be both defence and powerplay coach. And, for the goalies, Jeff Zatkoff - who the trio played with for a while - will be taking over. ''Holy shit, that's a good coaching trio.'' Sid says.

Geno nods in agreement, finishing his lunch. ''Yeah, hope it all works out for us, when do we get back to work, then?''

Kris says, firing a text to Flower on their progress. ''Mario needs to issue a set of boundaries to the media too, then we go back to work. He'll probably do that tomorrow by the looks of it.''

Erik takes his hair down from it's bun, and sits back in his seat. ''Can't wait to get back in the saddle now, working with Coffey is gonna be interesting.''

Kris ponders out loud, he's not worked under a fellow French-Canadian since junior. ''Wonder how he convinced Vigneualt to come back.''

Texting someone, Sid says. ''Us, maybe? The idea of coaching the four of us got him back?'' They begin clearing the table, that sounds possible, and Sid is normally right about these things. Nine days of striking have been successful so far, and they'll probably be back on ice this side of the weekend. ''Is Kyle taking credit for you being here still annoying you, Erik?'' Geno asks.

Erik says, laughing a bit. ''Not really, we all know who got me here, let him have his delusions. He can think anything he wants, doesn't make it true.''

Sid noticed Kris' face turning slightly pink, his brother has always been bad at taking compliments or being fawned over, even now it's a struggle to get him to accept praise. ''Tanger, you good, brother?'' Kris clears his throat. ''Oh, yeah, just... my husband, y'know?''

Erik says, sitting himself down next to Kris on their sofa. ''I'm only speaking the truth, sweetheart. He can delude himself all he wants into thinking I'm here for him, you put this ring on my finger.''

Sid laughs, and says. ''It was him threatening Geno that did me in, like, who does he think he is to do that?'' Geno joins them on the couch, and says. ''Our boss, solnishko?''

Sid concedes that, but says. ''We was our boss, honey, and a shit one at that. I hated Hextall, but he wasn't nearly as bad.'' Kris nods, in full agreement with Sid. ''Oh, tell me about it, Hextall was an ass when he wanted to be, but I'd take that over stupid any day.''

Erik says, feeling that cloud of uncertainty lifting a slight, these last nine days have been stressing everyone out. ''I'm just glad we're making the progress we wanted.'' That much is universal now, the air does feel lighter now that things are progressing for them, and they will be back to work sooner rather than later. They don't have clue one as to how Mario will draw boundaries for the media scrums after games and training sessions, that's going to be easier said than done, but, they're two thirds the way back to work. And, their new coach has actually won the Jack Adams. So, there's something to boast about now at least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turns out, Mario had a plan for media scrums all along. He's getting rid of them entirely in favour of proper press conferences. This time, they're going to be taken in pairs for media, and will be allowed to veto any questions they don't want to answer. The new code of conduct for the press is issued via the team's website and social media. No news on Rusty's idea of bringing back In The Room, but all three of their bigger terms are met now. So, the strike is over after ten days. Kris issues another statement through the team's union instagram account.

To the city of Pittsburgh, and all Penguins fans. This past ten days have been dramatic both in public and in private. And, we apologize for any undue stress this strike has placed upon anybody. We would like to thank you all for bearing with us over the past ten days while we have worked for the greater good of the team and our fans - both in the city and elsewhere. You have all been so supportive and patient with us, and we could not be more thankful. We would like to thank Fenway Sports Group for listening to our terms, and acting in the best interests of our team and its legacy as champions. We would like to extend our thanks and condolences to Kyle Dubas, who worked as well as he was able to in his short tenure in charge of our team. We are human, and all of us make mistakes. We also give our love and thanks to outgoing head coach Mike Sullivan for his decade of service to our team, and those back-to-back cups. We wish him all the best in his future endeavors. We also welcome back aboard Mario Lemieux, who will lead us until summer in the front office. And, we welcome our new coaches: Jack Adams winner Alain Vigneault, and Penguins veterans Paul Coffey and Jeff Zatkoff. We cannot wait to get back in the saddle under their guidance. Tomorrow, we will be back at Cranberry, in our jerseys and skates, training for our return to play from this labour strike. The first of its kind in hockey history, and hopefully the last. We are eager to play again, and cannot wait to see our fans again, and be able to look them in the eye. Thank you all for your kindness, patience, and support over the last ten days. See you all very soon. Best regards, The Pittsburgh Penguins Team.

The statement is honest, earnest, and tactful. Kris was careful not to mince their words with it, they should not have been pushed to a ten day labour strike in the first place, but they were, and it somehow worked exactly as they wanted it to. And, today, a day after the statement went out, they all congregate at Cranberry again. For the first time in over a week, they're here for training purposes, and will be working even harder now than they ever have. They're all a little apprehensive to begin with, worried about getting in trouble for that stunt, but, all it takes is the core striding into the dressing room in lock step with each other, for the rest of the team to relax. Alain walks in for the first time, and gives a little briefing. ''Good morning, boys, I'm very excited to get started with you. Not the most conventional way to get new coaches in, I'll admit that, but I respect it. I want this to be a partnership, and for you all to be able to tell me what you need. So... shall we get going?''

Sid looks to his Alternates, Erik included, and gets the same look back. ''Let's do this.''

They take to the ice again, and get to working with the new coaching system. Jeff drilling both Tristan and Ned on the new tactics they'll be working through. Kris and Erik give Paul the rundown on everything Quinn and Todd before him were doing wrong, and they set about devising new battle strategy. Alain first talks with the forwards, getting the backstory on their recent form under Sully, then, gathers the whole team for a stand around at center ice. ''Right, looks like quite a bit of change is needed, and I promise you all we'll get this season back on track.'' They get on with some drills and a short three on three scrimmage before heading for lunch. During which, Mario tells the core that Sportsnet want them for an interview tomorrow. ''Guess we've got nowhere to hide now, do we?'' Erik asks.

Sid shakes his head, and says. ''Not anymore we don't, no, now that our strike is over.''

They approve the interview, and get back to eating. For the first time in weeks, feeling cautiously optimistic about where the team is going.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They arrive at PPG Paints the next morning for their sit down interview with Elliotte Friedman, they were briefed on questions last night, and allowed to veto some of them. Thankfully, there wasn't too much to negotiate around. They find the media room they're using, the arena all done up for their game tonight, their first back since the strike began twelve days ago. Friedman welcomes them in politely, and they sit down to their interview with him. It may seem a bit unfair, one person interviewing four, but, they move together or not at all. ''Good day, gents, twelve days ago you four set something historic. The first single-team labour strike in hockey history. How on earth did you manage to pull that off?''

Sid answers this one, shifting in his seat. ''We didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. If we were being better managed and better coached, these twelve days wouldn't have happened. But, we just came to the agreement, and pulled the trigger.''

Friedman asks them next about the statements. ''Who wrote your two statements that are on instagram?'' Kris looks a bit bashful, but happily admits. ''That was me, we brainstormed the first, but I wrote them both. The PA gave me advice on how to word it, I was going to translate it into French and Swedish, but there was no time.''

The timeline is still fuzzy for outsiders, so Friedman asks them. ''How long was the strike in the works for?''

Geno answers this one, best with timelines of the four. ''Since the 6-0 loss on game one to the Rangers, we were just holding out for things to improve.''

Erik adds, backing his brother-in-law up. ''We four spend a lot of time together, and the idea of a strike was floating around in the air for a while. Kris and I would visit Sid and Geno, or they'd visit us, and it'd be an idea we'd talk about a lot.''

Friedman addresses the two captains, who have Dubas contracts. ''Now; Sid, Erik - you signed your contracts with Dubas, was there no loyalty to him that you had to dodge?''

Chuckling and shaking his head, Sid says. ''No, I signed to stay with my family, not for him. I have a huge family here: these three, the boys, Ivy, and Tristan. They are why I'm still here.'' Nodding in agreement, Erik shows off his wedding ring. ''This is why I'm here, Elliotte, I came here for Kris, and found everything I've ever needed. I'd have signed that contract no matter who was in that office.''

The duo with Hextall contracts share a laugh, Geno says to Kris. ''We're so lucky, eh, Legend?''

Kris nods, squeezing Erik's hand. ''Yeah, we are, G.''

Friedman says, directing conversation back to the strike. ''There's so much talk these days about athletes as exploited workers, do you four hope this gives other athletes the courage to do the same?'' Kris nods, he of all people knows the damage this sport does. ''Yeah, we do. I mean, all four of us have given our bodies and health for the thing we love, as every hockey player does. So, we expect good coaching and accountable management in return.''

Sid says, picking up on that thread. ''Between my concussions, Geno's knees, Kris' strokes and heart defect, and Erik's various injuries. Sometimes things just get to be too much for too little reward.''

Friedman says, to conclude the interview. ''Three new coaches, a totally new era, are you guys looking forward to it all?'' Geno's face lights up, forever ready for the grind. ''Yeah, things look so much better already.''

Smiling to the rest, Erik says. ''We also promised to lead the team to paradise, and that's exactly what we intend to do ourselves. Without us, this whole thing falls apart.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They get back in for the game tonight, hosting Utah. Alain's units are the same, but the game-plan is completely different. He's encouraging the guys to be as aggressive as possible, and to just shoot first and ask questions later. Exactly as Dan had the trio doing back in the day. They get out for warmups, feeling like they're beginning the season completely anew. The first period is like the lights have come back on, Drew and Anthony netting amazing goals for 2-0 by first break. ''Good goals so far, boys, we're looking much better, very impressed already.'' Alain says.

They get back out for second period, Ricky netting a breakaway goal five minutes in assisted by Marcus. ''Good rush, boys!'' Paul commends them both. They're 3-0 up, and for once, it doesn't feel like they're in imminent danger of giving it up like they used to. If Kris didn't know any better, he'd think Flower came back with some of the saves Tristan has made tonight. ''Never knew how good Tristan was.'' Jeff says from behind the bench.

Kris remarks, his godson is so much like his brother. ''Flower chose him as his rookie for a reason.''

Clayton Keller gets a lucky bounce goal for 3-1 by second break. But, for the first time in years, they feel like they can keep this lead afloat rather than just try to limp to the end of the game.

The third period is all Pittsburgh hockey, the new brand of it, Erik and Kris get a shift together, and annoy the shit out of the old Coyotes. Kris wires a pass to Kevin Hayes, who puts it away for 4-1. ''Thanks, Tanger.''

Towards the end of the game, the third unit is out to close the game up in style. Kris and Erik watch Jack attentively, he's so good, directing traffic like Kris, and leading the charge like Erik. Anthony gives him a pass, and Jack makes it work to close the game out 5-1 for the reborn Penguins.

After press conferences for the goal scorers and the new coach, they all get ready to head home. Cautiously hopeful for this season to turn itself around now that they've gotten what they asked for in their strike.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The games roll along after their back to back home wins against Utah and Vancouver. The most dramatic November of their lives finally comes to its end, and they're beginning to claw their way back up in the standings. Mario comes in after training one day to give Erik his new jersey, with an A on it. It was high time for it, really, with how much Erik helped organize everything for those eleven days. Erik tries on the new jersey before they go to lunch, the golden A on his chest. Kris buries his face in his hands, fighting the flush to his cheeks. The entire room bursts out laughing at him. ''You good, hjartat?'' Erik asks, cheeky as ever.

Kris gives a thumbs up, and says. ''I'm fine, amour.''

This will help the team massively down the mid and late season stretches. Having two leaders up front and two on the back end. Spreading the workload more evenly around the team. Rusty has also been made Kris' backup in the PA. To save Kris the added stress of having to do it all himself. For the first time in so long, things start to feel like they're going to be okay again. They'll probably never get those 2015 to 2018 glory days back, not before the end of this current era, but they can come close. Who knows? Maybe they might get that energy back at some point soon?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days after another big win, the usual group gather for breakfast at Sid and Geno's place. Drew and Tristan are gushing over their highlight goal and save from their last game, Rusty and Jack are talking about the goal they combined for as well. The four elder Penguins are just listening intently, their heirs are finally in trustworthy hands again. A sixth cup is a pipe dream at best this season, not that they're especially worried about that for now. They'll cross that bridge if they ever get there. But, the future four are actually excited to play hockey again, as are the current four, and that's all that really matters. ''Wonder what the rest of the year's gonna look like now.'' Rusty says.

Sid says. ''I think we're gonna be fine now, champion.'' That much they do need to carry with them from now on, things are better now, and the roster has come out relatively unscathed. Just missing Lars, but he's home in Washington now.

Jack asks, putting his dishes in the washer. ''You two said this strike was for me, what did you mean by that?'' Ah, so he does remember the chat the three of them had on day three.

Erik says, smiling. ''The four of us have to do everything we can, before a cup comes into the conversation, to set the four of you up for life after us, skatten mitt.''

Kris adds, turning his wedding ring on his finger. ''Everything Erik and I can do to set you up to become the team's top defenceman, we will, mon dauphin. If reason fails, try force.''

Tristan asks, clearly wondering about his dad, who is retiring this year. ''Would Flower have helped us? If he was still here?'' Geno nods, and assures him. ''He would have, probably earlier than we did.''

Drew finishes his coffee, and adjusts his beanie, hiding the weird choice he made with his hair - or lack thereof - a couple of weeks ago. ''I'd love to see the five of you scheming together, you know? It'd be carnage!''

Sid smiles, eyes filled with nostalgia for those golden days, even if there was a few pieces to the puzzle missing at the time. ''So would we, sunshine.'' He adds. ''This - all of it - will be yours at some point, and we have to give you four the best chance possible.''

Kris nods, and says, tapping his nails on his tea mug, no coffee for him since 2014. ''And, if it comes to it, we'll do it all over again until it sticks.''

Rusty bursts out laughing, humoured by the serious faces of his dads and uncles. ''That's a bit excessive, Kris.''

Sitting back in his chair, Geno shrugs. ''It's not if it's necessary, medvezhonok.''

Erik nods, cracking his knuckles. ''Preach.''

What the future four will never truly reckon with is that the current core are completely honest. The four of them have dealt with too much bullshit of their own, too many slimy general managers, feckless coaches, and lying media people. The strike wasn't just about them being unhappy with the team's results. It was breaking a cycle, breaking the wheel, and - if fate treats them nicely this time around - the wheel will stay broken. It should have started when Flower left, or at the very least when PO and Jake left, but it didn't. At least it happened, though. Things can only be bent so much until they break.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The claw back period of the season meanders on, the new coaching staff have things ticking like a clock for the first time in two years. And, the team have agreed to have weekly meetings now to assess things together without anyone looking or listening in. They've even been granted a media room in both arenas for their meetings. With a nice round table so everyone can see and hear each other better. After the sixth consecutive win of the new era, they have a team meeting, and get home to rest up. Ever a union member, Kris wonders if they will set the new precedent of teams in all leagues being more comfortable to bring strike action against their management. He's served in the PA for ages now, and this might be one of the biggest things he's ever been part of.

But, the worrying and thinking period is long over now. It's time to just get the heads down and elbows out, and win these games. They've got one hell of a mountain to climb, and to any other team, it'd be terrifying.

But, that's the thing, the Penguins have never been a normal team, and they're damn proud of it as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, got her done! So... this might be a lot to take in, and I have no idea if this would be allowed in the first place. But, whole league lockouts are a thing, so single team strikes might also be? I'd not be shocked to learn that a team in, like, the SHL striked against their bosses once upon a time. But, here she finally is! Never thought I'd get this fic done, but every loss the Pens took was just more ammo in my arsenal.

This is basically a vent fic with some shipping in it, so this might feel a bit... odd to read. But, this has been so cool to write, especially given the grey rocking the boys give to Kyle! That was fun to write for sure!

Sorry this took so damned long as well, it is currently two degrees celsius in Scotland, and my fucking hands have been freezing cold ever since the start of the week. No idea what causes it, but I just live around it for the most part.

Enjoy!

[hopetorun]

🎤 maggie with the cup final in play, i have ogwacs on the brain. who are your guys who haven't won that you would most love to see get one before all is said and done? we won't define an ogwac as strictly as most, so i'd say like. if we feel like they've been around forever and they're like 30 at least we can call them an ogwac for this exercise!

oh gosh!!!! there's such an assortment of guys that i've been fond of over the years for various and sundry reasons so in no particular order of fondness but starting with oh let's say the strongest contender on the list

pomo!! you didn't say i could include non-players but i am anyway, i think he's earned the title. two scfs more than twenty years apart gets you on my list

jeff skinner revenge tour. i don't think this requires explaining. i can't believe i have to root for the sabres but christ. if there's anyone in the league who deserves it. my only comfort here is that the previous record holder for most gp without any playoff games got traded to a contender as a deadline rental and promptly won the cup that year. only good thing the p*ns have ever done for me.

taylor hall. he's one of my longest-tenured favorite guys and like. man what a rough go of it he's had since 2018. also before 2018. but i had such a blast watching him when i was first getting into hockey and i think he deserves nice things.

jordan eberle. he was never quite the same level of special guy for me but i would truly be so stoked. kr*ken stop being cowards and make him captain.

justin faulk. one of my guys!! not on the blues though. i would bust out my old extremely stained faulk jersey in his honor!

someone on twitter pointed out that if the cats win, oel will be the person player to win the cup while on the canucks payroll which i do unfortunately think is very funny. anyway i love a comeback story AND that man did his time in the wars (coyotes org) so i think that would be a lovely cap on a rough few years

honestly most of the core players from the sharks mid-teens teams. some exceptions apply. that team was so bananas good for so long and not only did they never win, i don't think any of them have even gone on to successfully cup chase anywhere else? rough. i think pavs' likely retirement leaves burns as the only guy who was really there for all of it, assuming @moregraceful told me correctly that couture is probably a perpetual LTIR guy now, and burns took a step back this season in a way that has me wondering if father time is finally coming for him. anyway it's a bummer. and on that note

erik karlsson. god i can't root for the p*ns for it but i've been fond of him for so long! yet another man who has been in the wars. one of us, etc

claude giroux. because i've had to see that goddamn quote about how he thought he'd have plenty more chances at the cup back in 2010 and he's literally never even made it back to the final. good god man

john hock. i've enjoyed his work for years (he's actually the reason the flames ended up as one of my higher ranked sure i'll put that game on teams)

dylan larkin is only 27 but like. spiritually.

i would love for sam gagner to cap his baffling, delightful resume with a cup. but not this year.

roman josi. i was hardcore pulling for the preds the season they made the final 😭

yes i did go through every roster for this. yes i did find several old guys without cups where i was like, no i want him to stay that way.

[roseate7]

- The vicious and intentional behaviour Raffl exhibited against Malkin last night merits severe reprehension and deserves two or three layers of punishment (the instigating, the sucker-punch to the head and the subsequent diving caught on tape) none of which has ever been called for and none of which he is receiving.

- The reckless way Malkin reacted to Raffl with his stick deserves a high-sticking punishment, which he received in the game. Even a cursory review proves that there was no intent to severely harm (at that close range? intended harm would’ve followed through 100%) and Malkin himself owned up to his recklessness and rightfully denied any intent to cause severe harm to Raffl.

That’s what literally happened, but uh interestingly not even the Pens fanbase has mentioned the first and instigating part. And that’s a huge problem, and a symptomatic one.

Alex Ovechkin is a “mad Russian” who is hilarious and wild, and his deliberate head-shots and high temper and low boredom threshold are all considered apiece with his appeal to fans and media. It’s hilarious and adorable! He’s celebrated and regaled for sure but hey, it’s fun to root for a guy who is such a character! What you see is what you get with him, right? Great!

Evgeni Malkin is “the Russian who doesn’t mind being second to Sidney Crosby”  who is either equal to or only slightly behind Crosby in talent, skill and record books… but that’s not fun! That’s not interesting! Malkin has self-admittedly something of a temper. So in the blink of an eye, an elite player becomes an aggressive oaf perfectly suited to his deep voice, his choppy English and size. That’s a lot more snappy than accepting him to be a complicated and misunderstood character who finds that he can’t easily translate either his play or his thoughts into Western terms. Who knows he’s denigrated and that his choice to stay on a team with Sidney Crosby will only further lessen his positive significance, and that his mistakes will stand out more strongly as a result.

Both of these cases are insults and ones that most fans and media don’t even admit or are aware they’re committing. Ovechkin’s case is unique in that he’s harnessed the bias toward him for his own advantage. He now owns that brand of xenophobia to the point where his deeply-sewn lifelong problematic political affiliations and dubious personal life are long since hand-waived and smiled upon. The big dumb Russian image is especially ironic in how in-control and smart he is with it. He is literally laughing all the way to the American banks. But Malkin’s? Is sadly not unique in it’s dejection: despite his smarts, he can’t even speak in his own defense without his accent and his English level feeding into the “big dumb uncultured animal” prejudice. (Even players who speak better English are still tarred by their accent, or get the dubious praise of “wow your English is so good!”) He can’t make the kinds of rash mistakes that occur incessantly in hockey without it cancelling out the records he’s broken or the goals he generated.

Or in this case in particular, the fact that he was a target.

And oh boy. You’re a simple-minded no-hockey-understandin’ fool if you think that an opposition facing humiliation at the hands of a rival team with a big Russian who takes provocation quickly at times, isn’t going to receive direction to draw exactly the kind of penalty Raffl got out of Malkin. It got them the make-up goal for the refereeing cockup earlier in the game (the goal that already would have ended the Pens shutout). To Raffl and the Flyers, it was well-worth the risk and it paid off. Raffl was absolutely fine with risking retaliation to his actions if the result was stopping a shutout against his time, which it did. He was also more than happy to take a strategic dive and keep his mouth shut in the hopes that it would keep Malkin off the ice even longer. This is hockey and more than that, it’s Pennsylvania hockey. That is what happened, period.

In all fairness, I wouldn’t expect the Flyers or their fans to do much else because again, that’s hockey. Raffl got away with it but in their eyes, it was eye-for-an-eye over the earlier goal snatched out of their grasp by a whistle. There was nothing shocking about last night for a battle of Pennsylvania game.

I’m also not expecting any different attitude toward Malkin from fans who look for any reason to hate the Penguins and especially Malkin. Their reasons are already heavily biased, wildly over the top and of no value to anyone but themselves.

But it should feel utterly stunning to Pens fans that they are treating Geno the way they are. That the bias against him (and the double standards he faces compared to comparable situations with other Pens players) takes a situation of clear instigation and violence AGAINST Geno, and has instead turned it entirely into part of a pugilistic, brainless and animalistic fantasy that is a far cry from the reality that Geno is the vast majority of the time a smart and calculating player who sometimes lets his temper get the better of him (more on that in a lil sec!). There’s no hemming or hawing over that fact: we all know Geno doesn’t get his just desserts for the good he does due to playing on a team with Sid. We should also realise that Geno has an entirely unjust reputation for his mistakes that Sid does not get. Was Sid for a long time an emotional player who’s emotions sometimes brought harm to himself or his team? Undeniably yes. Was it gross the way opposition fans blew up that occasional flaw into something that actively fed the “Cindy crybaby” image that will now literally never die? Oh it sure is gross!

So why then is it okay that Geno’s flaw is encourage by his team’s own fans to feed a caricature of him that is intended to blot out his talent and his intelligence?

The thing is I know a lot of people think they’re not at all falling for that stereotype, but as someone who was around for the original post-Iron Curtain Russians I am coming out of my well to say: yes you are. I begged for tickets to hockey games my poor little teenage ass could scant afford just to watch the Russian 5 in person. I idolized their play. I counted Scotty King Midas Bowman as fortunate to have them on his already star-studded team. I also insulted and degraded the Russian 5 players unintentionally for years out of ignorance and out of deep-seated prejudice. So if you haven’t been disturbed by calling a notoriously intelligent player who has turned the tide of entire games and seasons on his own at times “dumb” and “violent” or chuckled at the way he expresses himself, then you’ve got some self-examination waiting.

I’ve also got hilariously zero time for people trying to sneak in their “Malkin is a dirty player” bullshit so let’s easily clear that up:

On the end of the spectrum that absolutely defines the modern dirty player: Tom Wilson makes surgical, calculated unprovoked and often blind-sided vicious hits intended to take players out of the game. Exiting the “dirty player” realm and far from Wilson is Erik Karlsson’s suspension this year for what he argued did not merit the punishment but that was still an intentional iffy hit that needed repercussion. Then you’ve got the fact that Geno reacts badly to hits and verbal provocation sometimes. If that’s a dirty player then bye bye to all the boys you’ve loved before because defining Karlsson and Malkin as “dirty” your little shits are also dirty players. The Lady Byng is given on relative terms, not because there are hockey players with truly squeaky clean records out there. If every reactionary slash and grudge-driven whack were called then hockey wouldn’t exist. These are male athletes traveling at high-speed in a contact sport, folks.

So the reaction to last night’s incident with Geno and the follow-up needs to be re-written for accuracy at least in part by Pens fans: Raffle made a targeted series of pugilistic attacks on Geno that were not called, Geno reacted with reckless high-sticking which was fairly called, and Raffl took a dive that was visible even to Philly commentators but was not called for it. NHL Player Safety is in a turmoil of trying to find “balance” in their wildly fluctuating definitions of dirty and illegal play and the hearing coupled with a complete lack of punishment or condemnation on Raffl’s headshot is a farce.

Hoping that Geno has to miss games for his mistake as a reaction to another player’s dirty tactics is… yeah that’s wrong. You’re wrong. You gotta ask yourself why you want that, if you do. A fine on top of his punishment to make a point? Okay. Missing games? When such a punishment has previously only been for targeted illegal hits? Yeah that’s extreme and bullshit.

[thosedaysthatwill]

12, 28, 36, 39

12. which player has the best fashion taste?

You can’t go wrong with the classic style. Trends come and go, but classic is forever and this man can put a suit together like no one else. 

28. what’s your favourite tattoo that you’ve seen on a player’s body?

The ones that have cute stories behind them are always my favorites, but just for pure art’s sake....

That’s just talent.

36. FMK but instead: Sacrifice to the Gods, Do Hard Crimes With, and Save the World With

Of like the whole league?! There are a lot of players that I’d like to sacrifice to the gods, starting with like 98% of the team in St Louis. Do crimes with would have to be the ‘16 squad, of course. But I would also love to see Gabriel Landeskog run his con scam because you know he has a really good one. The ‘save the world’ with question just popped a Superheroes AU into my head and that’s a dangerous thing. Like The Incredibles, but with a Found Family. Okay so I’m going with the ‘16 squad for this one and Gabe for the other one. 

39. who do you think is an underrated player and why?

EVERY DEFENSIVE DEFENSEMAN EVER! People talk about defensemen and are like “well he has only put up five points” and so fucking what?! And on the other hand when praising a defenseman they talk about how many goals he’s scored like that’s important for a defensive game. So you have like Shea Weber, Roman Josi types who are the best in the whole league, but do they get the Norris? Nope. It doesn’t go to the best defenseman, it goes to the one that scores the most. Look I know that Bobby Orr is an icon and a really great guy, but he wasn’t that good of a defenseman, he was a scorer. That ‘iconic’ picture? Where was he? Beside the net. Why was he there? Scoring a goal. He’s not a forward! When Quinn Hughes scored his first goal the other day, my first question was ‘where from?’ and it was from back at the point and then I was happy for him. The ONLY “offensive” defenseman I will excuse through the whole history of hockey is Scott Niedermayer because he could and DID skate backwards into position in TIME to defend every single time. He’s the only one. (Erik Karlsson? Kris Letang? DO NOT do that.)

*coughs* Um, what was the question? Also... Sami Niku and Eeli Tolvanen both deserve better. 

THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! 

[torontoarenas]

2018-19 NHL Predictions, Revisited

It looks like I didn’t whiff as badly on my predictions this time around as in years past. At least, as far as the standings are concerned. My individual award predictions, on the other hand...

Five Teams I Most Overrated

Columbus. Whereas I had them winning their division, in reality they finished in fifth in the Metro, taking the second wildcard spot. I still don’t think I was terribly off-base to put them where I did. It turns out that Bobrovsky having a down year (going from a .921 SV% to .913) will hurt a team’s position in the standings. Probably not enough to make up the difference between my prediction and the reality, though, so that’s not entirely it. Who knows with these things?

Los Angeles. I figured they’d miss the playoffs, sure, but I didn’t foresee them being “30th place” bad. And to think this was the team Ilya Kovalchuk came out of NHL retirement to play for! He legitimately thought he stood a chance of winning the Cup with them! Shoulda just signed with Boston, pal.

Anaheim. Another team I thought would miss the playoffs, but badly underestimated by how much. The fact that they were in a playoff spot for as long as they were early on is a testament to John Gibson and John Gibson alone. If he hadn’t fallen apart about halfway through the season, he’d deserve a Hart nomination for his efforts. Hell, come up with a new award just to give to him. Call it “The John Gibson Memorial Trophy for Sisyphean Tasks.”

Florida and Philadelphia. Just kinda the opposite of Anaheim’s situation: they’re both OK teams who were undone by poor goaltending. Guess that sort of thing is liable to happen when your starting goalie’s either a million years old (Florida) or a horrifying rat king of eight dudes, only one of whom is approximately good (Philadelphia). Not enough separation between the two for me to be able to tell which I overrated more, so I’m taking the coward’s way out and including both of them in the same entry.

Minnesota. You have to be a really bad team to miss the playoffs in the West, and I suppose the Wild are one of them now. Good to know for future reference.

Oh yeah, and I also definitely overrated the Maple Leafs, but not to the extent that they’d be in my top five. I’ll just skip right past ’em, so I don’t have to reflect on that fact more than I already have.

Five Teams I Most Underrated

NY Islanders. Despite finishing second in the Metro, I still don’t think they’re good. They were 26th in 5v5 CF% (with a quite bad 47.8%) and were around 20th in 5v5 shots-for percentage and 16th in scoring chances. Better, but still not great. Some of their outperforming expectations can arguably be attributed to new coach Barry Trotz. But more importantly, wouldn’t you know it, they had the highest all-situations save percentage in the league. With a tandem of Robin Lehner and Thomas Greiss, two guys who are historically pretty good but not world-beaters by any means. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but “crummy shot metrics plus a high PDO” isn’t necessarily the most repeatable formula for winning hockey games. Don’t be shocked if they miss the 2020 playoffs, is all I’m saying. For this year, though, they’re easily the team I got the most wrong.

Arizona. Fuck me for not realizing that Darcy Kuemper would turn into a .933 goalie in 2019, I guess. Incredibly, they still managed to miss the playoffs. Although, now that I think about it, maybe it’s not that incredible. I mean, have you seen the rest of their roster???

Calgary. It was the easiest call in the world to predict they’d bounce back from their surprisingly poor 2017-18 campaign, but to imagine they’d finish second in the league? Wild stuff.

Colorado. Sure, I had them finishing last in the Central, which they managed to avoid doing, but also, they qualified for the playoffs despite finishing 17th in the league and having six more losses than wins. This is now the second season in a row in which they’ve made the playoffs with fewer points than the ninth-place team in the East. Folks, they’re not very good. I don’t know what to tell ya.

Carolina. I left them just on-the-outside-looking-in after they disappointed me by missing the playoffs last year when I predicted they’d make ’em. I’d have looked so smart if I had just stayed the course!! Dang it! Ah well. Can’t be too upset about it.

Awards Predictions

Hart: I said Alex Barkov. My choice was predicated upon Florida making the playoffs and the PHWA deciding again to give the award to the best player on a fringe playoff team. Barkov is one of the best centres in the sport, but in retrospect, this was a real Galaxy Brain prediction and I should’ve picked someone more obvious.

Art Ross: I said Connor McDavid. Not unreasonable, given that he won the last two. I just didn’t anticipate Nikita Kucherov going all the way off and setting the record for most points in the salary cap era.

Norris: I said Erik Karlsson. That’s not gonna happen, but hey, remember when he got off to that slow start and a bunch of people started saying shit like “maybe San Jose made a mistake in trading for him”? Those people are dumb and shouldn’t be listened to. Unfortunately, many of them also vote for these awards. Anyway, Mark Giordano’s probably going to win this thing, as well he should.

Rocket Richard: I said Connor McDavid, but Alex Ovechkin, the Absolute Boy, went and did it once again. I’ve really gotta stop talking myself out of the obvious choice. Even as I acknowledge this, I’m still not certain he can repeat. Stay tuned.

Vezina: I said Andrei Vasilevskiy, and I was probably right. So that’s one-for-eight. I’m batting a whopping .125 over here!!

Selke: I said Sean Couturier. I feel like I should’ve gone with Patrice Bergeron yet again, but we’ll see. I could also see Mark Stone winning it now that he’s been traded to a good team.

Calder: I said Andrei Svechnikov. Wrong. It’s definitely going to be Elias Pettersson.

Jack Adams: I said Bob Boughner, for the same reason I predicted Alex Barkov for the Hart. Which is hilarious to think about now. Maybe if Florida had made the playoffs, he’d have been in consideration, but that’s obviously not what happened.

[smollandtoll]

HC: 5Hole

TW: this headcanon mentions other people in the NHL including certain Blackhawks and Capitals you might not want to read about. You can skip this one and won’t hurt our feelings OR just read until you get to the section divider that indicates the rest of our HC that doesn’t particularly involve just Sid/Geno.

Have you ever listened to Ariana Grande in the shower and immediately come out with an entire head canon about a Gay Hockey Bar called 5Hole? No? Just me?

So imagine Mario owns this establishment of course and Sid works there as a bartender. He’s perpetually single, mostly because he is super awkward, but also a little because his lower half is always behind the bar. There’s also the fact that he’s hopelessly in love with a regular named Geno and no one wants to get in the middle of whatever epic romance they’re figuring out together.

Geno’s story goes something like: he tried to work at 5hole, but was literally always late, and drank too much while on shift, and was generally the worst bartender because he'd get distracted flirting with patrons instead of y'know working. So he turned into a regular, and is ALWAYS dating someone new/constantly with a boyfriend. Cue Sid being like terribly in love with him from afar for 8 years.

We love a pining Sid - meanwhile Geno’s like, “Sid's good friend! Very cute boy. Weird little bit, but fun to chirp. Flirt with Sid all the time. He never show any interest.” See why no one wants to get in the middle of that? Besides you never know if Sid’s going to do something to one of Geno’s date’s drinks. Like he hasn’t so far, because he’s Sid, but sometimes he looks long and hard at the way they giggle up at Geno from under his arm and takes a really long time to set their drink down on the bar. Anyway Geno's busy having a great time and being young and a mess and missing his family so fiercely he doesn't even think his heart is capable of love any more it's so broken, y’know casual. So he's not looking, not even thinking to look back at Sid because sometimes someone just doesn’t register as a prospect.

Meanwhile Geno is like so scary to Sid, like he's so bright and bold and fearless and like he's got so much drama, with all the people in his life and like the on again off again friendship with Ovi and all the other shit, the Russian politics, the constant internal struggle against self-hatred. He’s always in and out of the bar, always laughing brightly at someone pretty or giving his friends shit and then turning his smile on Sid, and Sid just can’t help but be so drawn to him. Geno is so much, and Sid is so little, he doesn’t think he could compare at all, he doesn’t have deep thoughts or an interesting background, he’s not sexy or silly or fun or any of the other things Geno seems to look for in a date.  

He definitely wouldn't know what to do even if some miracle happened and he managed to capture Geno’s affection and attention. To always have the weight of Geno's gaze and possessiveness on him? Like it'd be so nice, but also when he flirts even just a little, Sid always FREEZES. It's been years and he still doesn't know how to handle it. So he’s writing himself off.

But other than the Geno drama, Sid actually really likes being a bartender. It suits him because he can’t flirt (that well) but he can quickly and efficiently prepare drinks when it’s busy af and it’s easy for him to stay low-key and focused. He’s actually the best, he's quick, his eyes never miss anything (he's definitely caught a few doctored drinks), he remembers an infinite amount of orders, he's clean, he's no nonsense, and he's pretty enough to make really decent tips when he smiles even if he can’t flirt worth a damn.

Mario is definitely grooming him to take the bar over - sending him to business school, letting him stay with him indefinitely (this is definitely one of those stories where Sid was like wayward, but not in a terrible way, just a little at loose ends and in need of a decent paying job and Mario swoops in with all the experience and convenient answers). (At this point we got deeply excited by possibilities of other people in this universe and our adorable Sid/Geno plot went off the rails. We just have so many faves, guys!)

Other things about the bar/patrons (stop reading here if you don’t want other people):

Mario is one of those old gays that realized late in life that they COULD be gay, like long after they had a wife and four kids and a career and things. Mario's “one that got away” was probably Gretzky (like, okay, in retrospect, I was in love with him and very in denial about it) and Jagr was probably a young coworker that got along well with him and occasionally experienced a tension-laden moment at a conference or two after a few drinks and was DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH HIM despite Mario explicitly saying "BACK OFF I'M VERY HETERO AND HAVE A WIFE AND BABIES I LOVE." But you know how it is when someone is in so much denial about who they actually are, and Jagr knew, he KNEW. But he also wasn’t self sacrificing enough to stick around waiting only to get burnt over and over while Mario always prioritised his wife.

Basically in this universe, NHL = gay(/bi/pan/poly/aro/ace/various other QUILTBAG abbreviations/occasionally straight because they can’t ALL be gay but like just most of them!). There are a lot of regulars at this bar, and they float in little interest groups and cliques depending on who is dating who and who has what in common - you know like real life. Here are some of the groups and what we think about them.

Jonathan Toews is the other bartender who works in tandem with Sid, because we just imagine this being a super Canadian bar. Jonny is hot and serious and deadpan and if Sid’s the shy (but incredibly competent) one with a great smile then Jonny is the intimidatingly tall and hot one. Regular bar patrons occasionally give guys the DL on the Sid <3 Geno situation - if someone is interested in wooing Geno feel free to hit on him, make out with him, but they usually get warned to grab their drinks from Tazer.  

Patrick Kane is one of those self hating gay dudes who comes to the bar to pick up and fuck in the bathroom and then goes back to saying f slurs with his finance bros. He’s probably very angsty and Tazer probably serves him a lot of water and stern looks.

Jamie Benn is one of those gay boys that has no style and doesn't know how to be gay at all. Sid feels for him deeply when he first starts coming in with just the solidarity of his straight brother who kind of abandons him to hustle at pool and watch hockey (hockey is always playing at 5Hole). Tyler Seguin probably swoops in early, takes him for haircuts and makeovers and long late-night heart-to-hearts they pretend are just bro-chats but no one is surprised when it turns out they’re secretly in love with each other.

Flower and Tanger are in some kind of open or poly relationship. As far as Sid can tell, Flower is married to a woman, but a couple times a month he and Tanger come to 5Hole and Tanger goes off to pick up a third guy for Flower’s inspection while Flower shoots the shit with Sid at the bar.

Phil Kessel genuinely comes in for the beer and the hockey and to not hear gay slurs while enjoying them. At first Sid thought maybe he was in the wrong bar and tried to warn him they weren’t a normal hockey bar, but Phil didn’t even look up from the beer menu and scathingly told Sid that he didn’t have his rainbow ID card with him that day, his apologies. After a while they all got used to him being gruff at the bar, focused on the TV more than the company, but still getting hit on relentlessly by like Hags. Phil usually tells him "SURE KID WHATEVER. YOU'RE TOO PRETTY FOR THE LIKES OF ME, MOVE ON." But Hags likes him, and thinks he’s cute and is slowly eroding Phil’s disbelief. Phil deserves love too.

Whenever Hags feels like he’s starting to cross the border into being harassing however it’s okay, he pays for Phil’s drink and then retreats to the corner that is occupied by mostly blonde swedes. Taken into Horny’s open (usually bare and glistening) arms, hair ruffled by Erik Karlsson.

The rest of the Swedes are a small contingent and insanely hot. They usually all break into their individual cliques and return every so often to Nicklas Backstrom’s table where he watches over them all with a stony expression of love, and makes sure the babies don’t get drugged (looking at you Willy Nylander).

There is a similar table of Loud Hot Russians, that is mostly lead by Ovi, and, depending on where their on and off friendship is at, Geno. But obviously Ovi is always like "SID! NICKY HERE?" literally any time he comes in. Ovi is just SMITTEN from the beginning, loving that beautiful impassive man, seeing the WARMTH WITHIN NICKY knowing he NEEDS OVI'S JOVIAL NATURE IN HIS LIFE. Whenever he can say something that gets Nicky to smile it’s 100% worth all his scathing looks and comments and he drunkenly pledges that he’s going to spend the rest of his life trying to make Nicky smile as much as possible. Nicky thinks he’s certifiably insane, but eventually caves and starts hesitantly dating him, and they are definitely instantly the new old married couple at the bar. And then all the Russians and Swedes get strangely intermixed a lot. Geno and Horny being brothers etc.

The Bi Guy club is mostly just Tyler Seguin, Paul Bissonnette talking shit and giggling in a corner and occasionally leaving 5Hole to pick up down the street at the straight club.

IF ANYONE was gonna be part of the drag act that comes in on the first Friday of the month it'd be PK and his Predators. Roman Josi in drag would be so beautiful. Baby gays Kevin and Juuse, longtime queens Pekka and Shea (#denial). Those Preds are so pretty.

Johnny Hockey would be that twinky kid who is like actually maybe too afraid to have sex yet but acting all mature and like he can handle it but he's sEEN SOME FUCKED UP PORN, HE KNOWS ASSHOLES CAN JUST RIP AND HE'S SMALL he's just ANXIOUS. It doesn’t help that he’s deeply hung up on Sean Monahan who runs in the Fuck Boy circle with Tyler Seguin, Tom Wilson, Michael Latta, and Brady Skjei. He is afeared. It’s okay though, Jeff Skinner, and Beau Bennet comfort him and take in Mitch Marner when he wanders in on his 18th birthday.

There’s definitely a kind of low self-esteem but thicc as hell club? President Tyson Barrie, VP Nate Mac, Treasurer Jamie Benn. THEY ARE ALL SO SHY AND WEIRD BUT SO JACKED AND FUNNY??? Gabe's gotta always be tagging along with them because he thinks he fits right in, not because he's ugly or they're ugly but because he thinks they are all smart and funny. And also Tyson is super cute and he is INTO IT. But it like PEEVES Tyson like no other because GABE DOES NOT BELONG.

Tyson: Why does he not spend all his time with the hot swedes, he gets to be hot AND FUNNY. RUDE. Gabe doesn't know how to stay in HIS LANE. THERE IS SUCH THING AS TOO PERFECT GABRIEL. LOOK GABE, GO BACK TO YOUR HOMELAND, LOOK, THAT ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE A PIRATE PROBABLY IS MISSING YOU. 

Gabe just exchanges looks with Nate and buys Tyson a very sugary drink (basically anything that ends in -tini) and smiles at him a lot to see him turn increasingly fluorescent shades of red.

Tom Wilson and Michael Latta despite their best intentions as part of the Fuck Boy clique are those guys who have been in a high school sweethearts level committed relationship for EVER AND EVER and everyone is like "maybe you should play the field" and they're like ....I don't think I need to. Because they have everything they need in their meathead bro! Solid sports understanding? Companionship? Twice the wardrobe? A+ blowies??? Done, done and done.

There is also the older distinguished extremely handsome gentleman's society aka Henrik Lundquist and Patrick Sharp. They’re biding their time, eyeing up future Gabe and Holtby. Ovi occasionally tries to set up shop with them and they're like "Good try, you might be silver but you're still like 28."

Thennn idk probably plot would happen like Geno would start dating someone and drama would occur and someone would have to force Sid to talk about his feelings and Geno would realise that he could have had Sid all along BECAUSE WE NEED LOVE. 

5HOLE!

[stories-from-my-mind-to-yours]

You don’t know you’re alive until you’re almost dead. Part II.

Erik sat next to Sophia's bed. His only remaining eye was bloodshot and red. His bandage had been replaced with another bioseal, giving him half a plastic face. They would replace it later, with a synthetic that you'd barely be able to tell from his real face. But for now it was fine. He should be in immense pain, but he felt nothing at all. Sophia had been sedated, to let her sleep. He had never seen her, or anyone, like that before. It was apparent she was on the verge of mental and physical breakdown. The marine that had carried her out of of the I.C.U. had only acted with her best interest in mind, but the way she reacted when he picked her up he suspected he may have made it worse. His name was Keith Garland, and he couldn't stand a woman in pain. He was also the spitting image of captain Craig Stevens. They could be brothers, hell, they could be twins.

He dreaded the moment she'd wake up, he was absolutely convinced she thought Craig had carried her out. He felt sick to his stomach. He didn't want to be the bringer of bad news, but if not him, then who? Sophia moved and groaned in her sleep, but didn't wake yet.

He left the room for a moment. "Tina?" He asked in a whisper. The reply was instant. "Yes commander?" "How is he?" He sighed, he knew the answer. "No change so far, life support is keeping him alive, but I can not judge any possible brain damage until the nanobots have done their job." He nodded, just as he suspected. No change. "Let me know if anything changes."

He went back into Sophia's bedroom. Sophia sat up in her bed, disoriented, hungover from the sedative and dehydrated. She raised her arms towards him, like a sick child looking for comfort. He sat down next to her and put his arms around her. She was crying again. "Wh- where is he?" She mumbled between her breaths. "Down in Medbay." She lifted her head and looked confused at her brother. "But I saw him? He was there!" He shook his head. "No, that was Keith, he couldn't stomach your pain, so he carried you out." She nodded softly, still groggy from the drugs. "Is...Is he al... alive?" She asked under her breath. "Barely, Tina doesn't know if he'll make it." "I have to see him, I need to be there..." she tried to put up a fight, but could barely lift her arms. "Sssh, I'll take you down there in a while, I need to know you've eaten, and that... that you know, that he might not make it." His voice cracked, and a tear rolled down his cheek. She nodded slowly, dried her tears and shifted her arms around her brother's chest. "Tina, can you send some food to my room please?" She asked the room. "Of course Sophia." Tina answered. There was compassion in Tina's voice, Erik didn't think that that was possible. A few minutes later a food wagon was delivered. Sophia didn't think she'd have much of an appetite, but when she started eating she realized she was starving. She ate like she hadn't seen food in a week.

"You really are just like him you know." Erik said with a smile. "How so?" Sophia asked with her mouth full. He gestured towards the food. "This, you, all you've done the past 72 hours. You know you probably saved at least a few hundred people, right?" She looked shocked. "I did?" He nodded. "Yeah, you did. That fire in com hab 3? There was over 200 people behind that fire door. Tina was a few minutes from blowing the airlock to save the ship. That probably would have taken out both hab 3 and 4. That's easily over 500 people, who are alive because you just don't know how to give up. You're getting a commendation for that, no buts about it." Her cheeks felt like they were on fire, she stared down at her plate, to embarrassed to look him in the eye. "Thanks." She whispered. "No, thank you Sophia, you did more than anyone else, more than anyone could ever ask. You if anyone deserve to be happy, and we're it in my power I'd give you whatever you wanted this very moment." She gave him a violent hug, and held him so hard he could hardly breathe. "Take a shower, and put on some fresh clothes, then I'll take you down to Medbay. Ok?" She nodded and squeezed him again. He stood up and looked at his baby sister. "I love you sis, more than you can imagine." She smiled her contagious smile, and finally it reached her eyes. "I love you too big brother." He left the room and waited in the hallway. "You better not die Stevens, you better pull your shit together."

10 minutes later Sophia was ready. "You sure you're ok?" She nodded, and he believed her. They took the officers elevator straight down to Medbay. The bell chimed when the doors opened. Tina stood in front of them, in her own android body. She never left Mainframe, Erik had never seen her anywhere else. He didn't exactly understand what it meant, but he didn't feel any prominent need to ask. Sophia and Tina hugged like sisters, Tina's face actually expressed genuine compassion and sadness. Neither said a single word, like they communicated in a way he simply couldn't understand. He didn't need to, either. Tina led Sophia into a private room, with soft lighting, and flowers. Real flowers! Craig lay completely still in the bed, except for his short regular breathing. Sophia sat on the bed next to him and held his hand, and talked softly to him. Erik didn't want to get in the way, so he turned to go back up to the bridge, but she waved for him to come in. He didn't object. He sat down in the chair next to the bed. "I know realistically I shouldn't get my hopes up." Her eyes were already tearing up. "But... but he wouldn't give up on me, so I won't give up on him." Erik nodded. "If anyone can make it it's him. Like I said, you're the same both of you, neither of you knows how to give up. Or fail for that matter." She smiled. God he'd burn the world for that smile.

Tina stood at the foot of the bed, simply offering compassion with her presence. Erik turned to Tina. "How long till you know anything?" Tina shrugged. He didn't remember her android form being this human, this life-like. "The nanobots are working as hard as they can, with his augmentations he is a lot stronger than any normal human, so they're working as fast as they can."

She walked around the bed and held her left hand above his head, and projected an instant X-ray on the wall. She zoomed in to show the nanobots, hard at work. "At this rate we should be able to estimate his chances by tomorrow morning, say 12-14 hours from now. But he is somehow stronger than even his augmentations allow him to be, by all rights he should not be alive, but like you said commander, he just doesn't know how to give up. But for now he is sedated to allow the nanobots more leeway, being awake at this point would be excruciating." Erik frowned and titled his head. "So what are you saying exactly?"

"I'm saying, that if he weren't sedated, it wouldn't surprise me if he woke up from shear stubbornness." She turned to Sophia. "As of right now, I'd give him a 50% chance, counting in his and your willpower, I believe he will be awake by tomorrow." Sophia beamed with hope and happiness. Tina hugged her again and left the room.

Erik quickly followed. "Tina, wait." She stopped and turned to face her commander. He lowered his voice to barely a whisper. "Don't you think that was a mistake? To give her that kind of hope? What if you're wrong?" Tina smiled, quite condescendingly.

"Forgive me Commander, but I wouldn't give him 50% chance if I didn't know he actually had it. That man will be awake by tomorrow, that's not a 50% chance, that's a guarantee. The nanobots are almost done already, I don't know what are making them so effective, his augmentations or his will to live, but honestly, it doesn't matter." She also kept her voice down so Sophia wouldn't hear, but she hadn't left Craig's side.

He was baffled. "Are, are you serious?" She nodded. "100%, that man, that beast of a man, will be awake tomorrow. I'll wake him around 10:00. Be here then." He nodded, visibly shaken. Tina got in the officers elevator, and went back down to Mainframe. Erik went back to Sophia and gave her another hug. "I'll check in tomorrow morning, I'm guessing you're staying?" Her expression gave him her answer. "I'll see you in the morning, I need to sort some things. Love you." She nodded. As he waited for the elevator he saw her lay down next to Stevens. He still couldn't believe what Tina had told him.

At 2200 hours Commander Karlsson stepped out of the elevator into the bridge. "Captain on the bridge!" Exclaimed lieutenant Carlisle.

"As you were, soldier. What's the status on the repairs?"

"Further along than expected sir, the hull is finished, captains quarters will be ready within the hour, and refueling and water tanks are all done sir."

"Excellent, we're making good time. Scouting party, report stat to bridge and check in on the hour till morning. I'll be in the mess hall, I need something to eat."

"Yes sir!" Lieutenant Carlisle was a young woman, perhaps inexperienced but she worked her ass off. "Carlisle, why don't you join me, you need something to eat too right?" "That would be my pleasure sir!" She beamed like a lighthouse. He stepped into the officers elevator and she gladly stepped in after him.

It was a quick ride down to level 8, the mess hall was nearly empty at this time, so they had plenty of choices as to where to sit.

Eric pushed the button for steak and mashed potatoes, and turned to Carlisle. "What'll it be lieutenant? There's food that doesn't look like it should, and food that doesn't taste like it should. And a few that neither tastes nor looks right." She grinned from ear to ear. "I'll take pancakes sir, they're pretty close in taste, they're all right as long as you don't look at them." He chuckled. "You dont need to call me sir here, the names Erik, that'll do fine." She looked surprised, but nodded. "Ok Erik, I'll try, but I'll probably slip up sooner or later. My name is Leslie." She offered her hand. He shook it and smiled. "I know." He started thinking of all the old school officers, they'd have slapped you for calling them by name instead of rank. Their food was ready, so they took their trays and sat down. "So Leslie, what are your plans ahead? And don't be shy, if want to be a Commander, speak up, if you want to be a helmsman that's fine too." She thought while she chewed her pancakes. "I dunno actually, helmsman is a good place to start, but not my final destination. I guess I'll see where I end up in a few years, maybe I know better then." He nodded agreeingly. "You gotta start somewhere, sometimes you don't know where you're going, only where you've been. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're the one aiming the wheel." He missed this. A simple conversation, dinner, friends. The last three days had been hell for all of them. He got up and walked to the food dispenser. He swiped his black and gold Commander card, and pushed two buttons. Two plastic cups came down in the machine, and a golden brown liquid poured out into them. He gave one to Leslie and took the other for himself. "I'm not allowed to drink. Underage you know? I'm only 19." He raised his one remaining eyebrow and shook his head. Americans. "Leslie, you drink that, that's an order." He grinned so wide his bioseal started hurting. Worth it. Leslie smiled and downed the "whiskey" in a single gulp. "So," he asked with mischief in his eye, "how's that moonshine going down in Mainframe maintenance?" Leslie who hadn't swallowed her drink yet, started coughing from the shock of a Commander knowing apparently everything going on under his bridge. His laugh was heartfelt and sincere, and god damnit he needed a laugh about now. "Well, Erik, since we're being honest and all here, it tastes more like whiskey than that." She pointed to her plastic cup. He nodded. "Yeah, I'll bet, this tastes... well, compared to what it should taste like, this tastes like antiseptic dishwater." She laughed agreeingly. They talked for an hour or so, until the need for sleep and morning duties called it a night. But they grew closer, and the stories of their Commander being an all out good guy spread quickly through the ranks. He hadn't anticipated it, but he didn't stifle it either. They needed to cheer this place up, before the next disaster struck. The captains quarters were finished by now, so he walked into the senior officers quarters instead of his old bunk. It sure was fancy in here. Thick carpets, wooden desks, comfortable chairs in every conceivable spot. And the captains bedroom? Looked like something French royalty would really like. But the bed... dear lord, that was the crown jewel. When he lay his head down on his pillow he had barely closed his eyes before he was fast asleep.

Part III

https://roninjason.tumblr.com/post/171952647160/you-dont-know-youre-alive-until-youre-almost

[batsinurbelfrey]

Liz pretty much covered this very factually and professionally. I don’t have a ton left to add, except maybe the finer details/context i was tagged in for. 

Extra little things of note here would be...

 among a litany of cruel and vitriolic messages, (The court records show well over a thousand were sent) the stand outs sent to Melinda were definitely: wishing her and her unborn child dead (prior to the miscarriage),  wishing someone would “take out” Eriks’s legs to “end his career,” Leaving comments disparaging Melinda on the instagram post Erik made to announce the loss of their child/mourn, saying she likely killed their unborn child by abusing painkillers during pregnancy. (there has never been any evidence of Melinda having drug issues btw. just for the record. which even if she HAD this comment would STILL be abysmal and uncalled for, but she hasn't, i just needed to call that out to showcase how insane it is.) 

The eventual reasoning Hoffman’s wife gave for why she would be justified in what she did (although she never fully admitted she did it) was because Melinda stopped liking her posts on facebook, and wasn't inviting her around to dinners as much as she had before. 

As mentioned, we cant purport to know what goes on in these WAGs groups, but it is worth re-iterating that the “side-picking” was overwhelmingly with Melinda, even Hoffman’s wife admitted it. Which potentially speaks volumes to her character, when you think about how many women were like “Yeah, that tracks for Monika” (again, THIS is speculation, we cant know, but it just.....vibes odd.)

I also see Hoffman forcibly removed from this criticism a lot, because “this was Monika not him”. But i refuse to believe Hoffman was just blissfully unaware, or not even possibly taking part. He backed Monika the whole time and also has since gone on to marry. So clearly the behavior is fine to him by his moral standings. (This one feels kinda nasty to write, but I just feel he shouldn't get brushed out of this equation so easily) 

another thing mentioned above that has NEVER SAT RIGHT WITH ME is both players were traded to make this go away. Like the weird backwards victim blaming, and to your own Captain!  If you wanna feel like shit too, Karlsson admitted in this choked up interview he found out he was traded by getting a call the morning camp started telling him not to bother to come in. (I mean that about feeling like shit btw, his voice hitches multiple times and his eyes water. its ROUGH)

Anyway. The Karlssons have been through some SHIT. Like as if losing a child wasn't enough.  And I forever am camp If-I-See-Hoffman’s-Bitch-Ass-In-THe-Streets-Its-ON-SIGHT.  I am actually glad in a weird way for the trade though, SJ and the Sharks seem like a much more positive environment for them. AND!!! They had a daughter recently!!! So like, good things come to good ppl etc etc etc *hand waving*  Just wish Hoffman would have stayed unsigned like he deserved but The Blues continue to make questionable choices...

Sorry if this is stupid but what happened to Karlsson in Ottawa? Is the family ok?

Mike Hoffman's girlfriend accused of harassment

Hey, anon, that's not a stupid question at all. I think this was one of those situations that Ottawa and the NHL tried to brush under the rug as much as possible, and then used "character issues" as an explanation for how things eventually turned out. This above link was the first national sports publication I can remember reporting the incident/allegations (apart from a local Ottawa paper). There are several followup stories and other places with details out there, though.

In short: Melinda Karlsson wound up filing an order of protection against Mike Hoffman's fiance - at the time that both players were on the Senators - alleging that the latter had targeted her in a campaign of harassment of online bullying using mostly burner accounts. This was following the stillbirth of the Karlsson's first child, which a good deal of the harassment revolved around. Hoffman's fiance wound up filing a counter-suit and the entire thing was dismissed with no definitive resolution as to what actually occurred. I don't claim to know anything about the dynamics that exist between wives and girlfriends on teams, but there was an overwhelming amount of support from the other SOs for Melinda when she made her story public. For Ottawa, they "resolved" it, by trading both Hoffman and Karlsson later that season.

This is definitely an oversimplification of a very serious matter, on my part, but I hope the above link provides some context, and if you need any further resources please reach out.

Also, I'm sure @batsinurbelfrey would be more than willing to provide any other information and/or context about this, as she is a Sharks/Karlsson fan and stands by violently hating Hoffman as her one really "hot take."

I hope this helped.

[madlori]

LORI. LORI. Bc the last 3 rounds KILLED ME (MY BOYS WHY YOU GO TO 6 GAMES? SULLY WHY NO FLOWER? *sobs into eternity*) do you have feelings about the current playoffs/finals?

I’m still recovering from a double overtime win in game 7 against the Sens.

Mostly the feelings I have are the same ones everyone has - how the Pens keep finding ways to win when all the analytics in the universe say they ought to be getting their asses handed to them. Getting physical with them didn’t work (ask CBJ), outshooting them didn’t work (ask WSH), dominating puck possession didn’t work (ask OTT). And now once again they’ve won twice despite being significantly outshot by NSH.

I guess they’re really into the quality over quantity thing. I mean, getting off twelve SOG in a game is terrible...but scoring on 5 of those 12 shots is kinda badass. The Pens might not throw constant offense at you, but they will a) make you pay for every single thing you do wrong and b) capitalize on the chances they DO get. And they’ll get rescued several times by an AHL call-up that nobody saw coming and the best goaltending they’ve ever had.

On that subject. Flower was pulled because he had a bad game. It happens. Holtby and Anderson AND Bobrovsky  - and two of those guys are Vezina Trophy winners - all got pulled at various times in their series. But when you have two primary #1 goalies, you go with the hot hand, and Murray is a freaking wall. And nobody can explain it, but...it seemed this way during the season and it seems this way now: the team plays better in front of Murray. I think it’s because Murray is so freaking CALM. Flower is very athletic and makes amazing saves but in a kind of...flaily way. Murray moves like every single thing he does is exactly what he planned and practiced. It makes the players, unconsciously or not, feel like everything’s always okay.

I adore Flower as much as anyone, but THERE IS NO CRYING IN BASEBALL, by which I mean that this shit can’t be sentimental. There’s a lot of emotion about Flower in Pens fandom these days and I’m..kind of over it. This isn’t about whether or not the team and the coaches like him (they do) or if they think he’s a good goalie (they do, and he is). He is a professional and he’d prefer (I’m sure) to be treated as one, which means he doesn’t need coddling to spare his feelings. When people talk about how Murray’s come in and will replace Flower, they’re not wrong. But once upon a time, Flower was the rookie who came in to replace someone, too. That is the job he signed up to do when he became a professional athlete. He doesn’t want to leave the team, but he also wants to play and be the primary, and he knew the deal when he signed his first contract. “Flower should play because he’s a nice guy and the whole team adores him” is not how any of this works. If (when) they win, his name will be on the Cup, too. 

Other random feelings about these playoffs:

OMG poor Zach Werenski’s FACE.

Brandon Dubinsky can fuck right off even if he plays for my other team.

Erik Karlsson is awesome and handsome and deserves time off for his broken damn foot to heal

Catfish are smelly and that was dumb

Holy crap they weren’t kidding that the officiating goes to hell during the playoffs, on all sides

Anyone who thinks the refs favor the Pens is being willfully blind

I really feel for Caps fans, man

Cam Atkinson is amazing and wonderful and I love him

How is Geno’s hockey so sexy

I am now to the point that I can identify some players by how they skate, even if  they don’t have numbers on (Sid’s the easiest to spot)

I miss Tanger.

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

The Ottawa Senators Need to Relocate if Eugene Melnyk Doesn’t Sell the Team

A National Hockey League team in Ottawa. It was a fun experiment. We had a lot of good times. Well, a few good times. Actually, I’m sure a good time occurred even though I can’t pinpoint a specific moment. That time Damian Rhodes bleached his hair, maybe? But maybe it’s time to say goodbye. It’s the best thing for everyone.

Sometimes when you love something, you have to let it die so everyone can move forward with their lives. The situation commonly manifests itself in the form of a terminally ill grandparent, an extremely old pet or anything since season three of Arrested Development. Fighting to keep the Ottawa Senators alive is selfish. They can’t go on living like this, if you can call this living. If you really care about their happiness, you will sign the papers, kiss them on the forehead and stand outside the room as Gary Bettman grants them the sweet release of eternity.

From the start of 2018 to this week, the Senators have operated like an organization that welcomes the merciful end.

Let’s [deep breath] take a look:

-Owner Eugene Melnyk threatened to move the team days before the franchise’s first outdoor game and has yet to meet with the city about a potential downtown arena.

-Daniel Alfredsson, the most popular player in team history, has publicly stated Melnyk should sell the team.

-Baby clothing adorning the Senators logo was recalled because it was deemed a choking hazard, a joke so on the nose you’d roll your eyes if you saw it in a movie.

-Assistant general manager Randy Lee was charged with harassment for allegedly inappropriately touching a 19-year-old hotel shuttle driver while in Buffalo for the NHL combine and has yet to be disciplined by the team.

-Melinda Karlsson, wife of Erik, filed a restraining order against Monika Caryk, longtime girlfriend of Mike Hoffman, over her alleged threats and harassment that focused on the death of the Karlssons’ stillborn child in March.

-On Thursday morning, TSN’s James Duthie said during a radio interview that more bombshells could be coming. Maybe it’s more details about the Karlsson-Hoffman situation or fresh incredible controversies, like Melnyk stealing Andrew Hammond’s free hamburgers and reselling them to poor people in the city or Guy Boucher being charged as an international jewel thief.

And this is all during and after a 67-point season with attendance plummeting to its lowest levels since 1996-97, a sign fans already had enough. If you look inside your heart, Senators fans, you know what needs to be done; you just need the courage to do it.

It’s time to scorch the earth.

There’s no playbook or blueprint for how to handle the Karlsson/Hoffman situation but trading both players is the only move. General manager Pierre Dorion was derelict in his duties when he didn’t take the best offer for Karlsson at this year’s trade deadline but the best thing for both the player and organization now is a fresh start, which was likely to happen this summer anyway. Karlsson has earned his freedom from the worst organization in sports.

https://sports.vice.com/en_ca/embed/article/wjp8zb/ottawa-deserves-better-than-eugene-melnyk?utm_source=stylizedembed_sports.vice.com&utm_campaign=nek53q&site=sports

Hoffman has to go because, well, Hoffman has to go. Several player wives and one ex-player’s wife (Kyle Turris) tweeted support of the Karlssons along with a lack of surprise about the alleged actions of Caryk. There’s no way Hoffman can co-exist with his current teammates, which leaves the Senators to get whatever they can in a trade, which likely won’t be much considering the circumstances.

That leaves likely offer sheet target Mark Stone and pending unrestricted free agent Matt Duchene counting down the days until they are no longer Senators. Yeah, offer sheets are about as rare as sell-out crowds in Ottawa, but you have to believe Stone is telling his agent to whisper into teams’ ears that he’d be happy to sign one to escape Ottawa. Duchene is playing only a few hours from his hometown and that’s apparently the most important thing ever for any hockey player, but that hardly seems a reason to spend the rest of a career in a hockey hell swamp.

The Philadelphia 76ers had a crisis of their own during the NBA offseason that seems silly in comparison, but the team parted ways with general manager Bryan Colangelo over tweets sent by his wife that included medical information about a player and an adamant defense of shirts with gigantic collars. Ownership felt they had to show their own players and potential free agents that they weren’t dysfunctional and the actions of Colangelo’s wife (or maybe even Colangelo, who knows) would not be tolerated.

And the 76ers have an energized fan base excited about a team on the upswing, so it’s not as though customer confidence had any chance of becoming an issue.

But guess what! Travis Yost posted a story Thursday afternoon that makes the case that the Senators may have their very own renegade Twitter account being run by someone inside the organization. It doesn’t seem to reveal any proprietary information like in the Sixers’ case but it’s hardly the look the Senators franchise needs at this moment.

Get Karlsson out of Ottawa! Photo by Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

So how do they send a similar message to fans and players around the league that the organization isn’t a rudderless ship poised to ricochet off icebergs for years before eventually sinking?

Really, there is no fix. Firing the GM or coach? That doesn’t do the trick. Not trading Karlsson? That would be criminal. There’s only one way Senators fans can have their faith restored.

Melnyk has to sell, and he has to sell to someone that will keep the team in Ottawa.

Some of this isn’t the organization’s fault but so much of it starts at the top with Melnyk, and if he’s there in perpetuity, why should fans expect anything to change? Why should there be any belief that anything involving Lee or a fractured locker room or just a poorly managed team will be remedied? Because of a fluke run to the conference finals two years ago?

And if by some miracle the Senators do everything right in the coming weeks and months with their image issues, they still must trade their best defenseman and arguably their best forward. If Melnyk was hemorrhaging money and strapped with immense debt before this season, how does that get better a year from now? Why would he want to continue sinking money into an unprofitable team? He’s never getting another organ from a fan after all this.

A fan will justifiably lack motivation to spend money this year if Karlsson and Hoffman leave but if there’s a promise of an ownership change with a commitment to Ottawa, a scorched earth model can instead serve as seeds to a new beginning. When a team is terrible, it has to sell hope, and the only way that takes shape in Ottawa now is through the belief Melnyk won’t own the team anymore.

Once Karlsson and Hoffman are gone and if Stone is poached by an offer sheet and Duchene has no intention of re-signing, the only hope to be sold will be a future without Melnyk.

But if Melnyk won’t go, death is the best option. You don’t owe Melnyk anything. You are not obligated to dedicate your time, money, and sanity to something that so clearly doesn’t care about you or icing the best possible team. Find your way to the acceptance stage. Let the Senators go. Houston. Quebec. Kansas City. There are worse things that can happen to a fan than a team relocating.

Like, for instance, a Melnyk-run team not relocating and staying in your life for decades.

That’s much worse.

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports CA.

The Ottawa Senators Need to Relocate if Eugene Melnyk Doesn’t Sell the Team syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com

[junker-town]

Ranking every 2018 NHL All-Star from least to most deserving

From Brian Boyle to Connor McDavid, here’s everyone partying in Tampa.

Not every NHL All-Star is created equally. The league uses a fan vote and requires that each of its 31 teams send at least one player to the annual extravaganza, so there are inevitably choices that aren’t necessarily deserved on merit alone.

The result is that we’ve had some pretty mediocre NHL All-Stars over the past decade, from Rick DiPietro and Mike Komisarek in the late 2000s to John Scott, Zemgus Girgensons, and Leo Komarov in recent years. Crosbys and Ovechkins of the world, these players were not.

This year doesn’t quite have anyone on the same level as Scott, the longtime journeyman who made the 2016 All-Star Game after an online campaign to vote him in, but the 2018 class of All-Stars still ranges in quality from no-brainer MVP candidates to some more questionable selections.

With the big weekend starting Saturday in Tampa, let’s break down who is most and least deserving to be there. This is sorted out into tiers to simplify things a bit, although I will surely get yelled at on social media for these rankings anyway.

Injury replacements

47. Brian Boyle

46. Mike Smith

45. Zach Werenski

Thoughts: It seemed reasonable to simply place injury replacements at the bottom of the list since they didn’t make the initial roster, but these three are in wildly different situations. Boyle, the replacement for Taylor Hall, was selected partially because of his heartwarming story. He only has 17 points in 38 games this season. But Smith and Werenski, the replacements for Jonathan Quick and Seth Jones, have arguably been as good or better than the guys they’re replacing.

The questionable calls

44. Braden Holtby

43. Kris Letang

42. Marc-Andre Fleury

41. Jonathan Quick

Thoughts: These are the four names that stand out to me from the All-Star picks as earning their spots off reputation more than anything. None of them were necessary to cover team requirements. Holtby over Sergei Bobrovsky is inexplicable. Letang over Zach Werenski, John Carlson, and Ivan Provorov is also questionable. And while Fleury and Quick have been very good, Smith and John Gibson arguably had stronger claims to those spots in the Pacific.

“We needed to fill your team requirement”

40. Carey Price

39. Rickard Rakell

38. Mike Green

37. Eric Staal

36. Oliver Ekman-Larsson

35. Noah Hanifin

Thoughts: These guys are all having okay-to-good seasons, but they wouldn’t necessarily be All-Stars if it wasn’t for the one-player-per-team rule. Even Price, often considered the best goalie in the world, only has a .905 save percentage this season. But the Canadiens, Ducks, Red Wings, Wild, Coyotes, and Hurricanes needed to send somebody, so these were the guys to squeak in.

The teammate debates

34. James Neal (vs. Jonathan Marchessault)

33. Josh Bailey (vs. Mathew Barzal)

32. Aleksander Barkov (vs. Jonathan Huberdeau)

31. Brayden Schenn (vs. Vladimir Tarasenko)

30. Tyler Seguin (vs. Jamie Benn)

29. Claude Giroux (vs. Jakub Voracek and Sean Couturier)

28. Brad Marchand (vs. Patrice Bergeron)

27. Sidney Crosby (vs. Phil Kessel and Evgeni Malkin)

Thoughts: These guys are a bit different from the above group in that they’re all deserving All-Stars, but it’s fair to wonder whether they had more deserving teammates. For example, as good as Barkov has been, it’s actually Huberdeau who leads the Panthers in points. Even Crosby has been outscored by Phil Kessel this season. These were all worthy selections, but the NHL easily could’ve picked others from the same teams.

The no-brainer picks

26. Connor Hellebuyck

25. Brent Burns

24. Pekka Rinne

23. Brock Boeser

22. Seth Jones

21. Patrick Kane

20. Erik Karlsson

19. Taylor Hall

18. Jack Eichel

17. Andrei Vasilevskiy

16. Blake Wheeler

15. Anze Kopitar

14. Alex Pietrangelo

13. Auston Matthews

12. Henrik Lundqvist

11. John Klingberg

10. Johnny Gaudreau

9. Drew Doughty

8. John Tavares

7. Nathan MacKinnon

6. Victor Hedman

5. Nikita Kucherov

Thoughts: And now we get to the guys whose All-Star status isn’t really debatable. These guys have played at an exceptionally high level, and they don’t have teammates who could reasonably lay claim to their spots. You can surely quibble with the specific order in which I’ve ranked these guys, but anyone would be hard-pressed making an argument that they shouldn’t have been invited to Tampa.

The captains

4. P.K. Subban

3. Alex Ovechkin

2. Steven Stamkos

1. Connor McDavid

Thoughts: A quartet of no-brainer selections by the fans who would’ve made the game even if others were voted in. These are four of the most talented, popular players in hockey, and they’re all worthy picks for captaincy at the 2018 NHL All-Star Game. You can definitely argue that Kucherov should’ve won over Stamkos, or MacKinnon should’ve won over Subban, but there’s little debate as to whether these four are deserving.

[brentseabiscuit]

Hello, I'm fairly new to this hockey thing and you seem too know a decent amount of info on multiple teams. I think I'm starting to understand all the rules and stuff, but I don't know much about the players. Also, are their certain blogs you'd recommend for the different teams? Thanks! ❤❤

Hey anon! I’m sure I can help you out! Player Summary: The universally loved~ Phil Kessel- Nice guy Tries hard Loves the gameA Stanley Cup ChampionPK Subban-Donated millions of dollars to a children's hospital and was then wrongfully traded because the habs management is garbage Happy Happy Happy guyHandsome and smiley More charming than any Disney princeThe Babies~ Connor McDavid-Very good at hockey In love with Dylan StromeVery young captainDylan Strome-Resting bitch faceHas a bromance with basically everyone Captain Canada @ world juniors right now Mitch Marner-Very Small, but tries to be feistyDangle dangle dangle Also in love with Dylan Strome Everyone loves Dylan Strome Except Arizona's GM apparently Auston Matthews-Also very good at hockeyScored four goals in his NHL debutA mama's boyHighest drafted Latino player ever There's many, many more babies, but my advice is to pick a team or two and learn about their babies, every team has them, and Toronto in particular has been blessed with several of them The Captains: Sidney Crosby- Captain CanadaThe best at hockeyOne of the best anyway Nice bootyLots of awardsJonathan Toews-Cups Cups Cups Likes Kale and doesn't eat most things you and I wouldVery good leaderVery smart, and very emotional player and person Also has a nice booty Just look @ it Alex Ovechkin- Russian Very funnyVery confident Goals goals goalsAnd even more goalsGood human being Max Pacioretty- The three S'sSmart, serious, and softAlso a goofball Cutest smileDeserves better than Michal Therrien I love himDon't look @ himHe's mine There's lots of captains too, pick a team and you can learn about their captain as well! The Pests: You probably won't like these guys unless they play for your team. Brad Marchand-A demon on the ice, an angel of human rightsStop hating himVery good human Andrew Shaw-Very emotional Too emotional Can't control himself Cutest muttMy muttCutest little shitI could go on forever, but just search the tag "my mutt" here on my blog if you wanna know moreWayne Simmonds- The Wayne TrainVery cute with puppies Underrated There's a ton more pests too! Goalies: They're all angels and it's against the rules to hate on them. Carey Price-A literal brick wallI love himI met him twiceWhen he was a baby goalie in the whl Very handsome Corey Crawford- French Canadian CutieGets put on the IR for the most unusual ailments (appendix, falling at a concert and spraining his ankle) OverlookedBetter than people give him credit for How in the f*ck hasn't he even been nominated for the vezina? I'm very bitter about thisBraden Holtby- Very goodHas won the vezina Flow flow flow BeardThe most "rugged" of all of the players I've mentioned. Every team has a least two of them, so find your boys and love your goalies! Some good Defensemen: PK Subban from the beginning is a d-man! Shea Weber- 108 mph slapshotOuchDon't blame him for the Subban-Weber tradeIt hurt him tooHe also needs love and appreciationBrent Seabrook & Duncan Keith- Blackhawks Bromance Seabs is soft off the ice and physical on it Duncs doesn't have an ounce of softness in himUnless he's around children Big ol' softie Both have nice hairSeabs likes nachos Duncs has the body of a Greek god because he doesn't eat nachosGod Seabs, get with the program Just kidding Erik Karlsson- Points points points Proposed with a pizza Swedish Also has nice flowOther noteworthy guys: Tyler Seguin, Jamie Benn, the brobeans, Steven Stamkos, and Claude Giroux! Ok, this is getting long and I think I've hit most of the majors players in their categories. Feel free to add though! And as for team specific blogs-@eberbae: Chicago Blackhawks and Edmonton Oilers @martinjones31: pretty diverse as far as teams go, mostly San Jose Sharks and Baton Bruins @jakegards-flow: Toronto Maple Leafs@panic-at-the-goalline: the habs and all things Canadian, A+ human with an A+ blog@krissyfolk: my favorite human, blogs about the hawks and various non-hockey things@catlady31: lots of Montreal and various players around the league @temipanarin and @lattaismymainboy: caps and hawks @ivanprovolone: The Philadelphia Flyers, 10/10 would recommend following regardless of teams preference! @sidmalkin: Pittsburgh Penguins blog! Lots of good content! There's a ton more, I'd recommend searching through team tags and looking at the blogs that pop up in the search results! Hope this helps anon!

[essamadeeb]

Sharks 6, Oilers 3Optimism sure is a fleeting thing in Oil Country. The Edmonton Oilers were flying high after a pair of emotional wins last weekend over the Stanley Cup champions and then their fiercest rivals, but have since given it all back with a pair of dismal performances. After getting whitewashed 3-0 by an Arizona Coyotes club missing their top defence pair and their #1 goalie, the Oilers got waxed for six goals by a San Jose Sharks club missing their two top centres.Edmonton was deserving losers in both games, getting outsmarted, outquicked and outworked by a more desperate opponent on both occasions. Just like that the club is just 2-2-1 since their break and already looking to be playing on fumes despite the lengthy respite.The Oilers had a fast start in this one, generating the game’s first five Grade A scoring chances and converting two of them, all in the first six minutes. Alas, NHL games are 60 minutes long, not 6.The Sharks continued their dominance in Edmonton where they have won their last 5 visits in succession, scoring 25 goals. Overall, since the calendar turned to 2018 San Jose owns a tidy 9-1-1 record against the Oilers, scroing 54 goals and allowing 34. The Oilers just have no idea how to defend against this team, which was strongly in evidence again in this one.Player grades6 Adam Larsson, 3. Struggled in that area of the ice he usually controls, the low slot in his own end. Twice he was victimized on Sharks goals in tight to the net. Did have 5 hits and played with some edge.15 Josh Archibald, 4. Did some good work on the penalty kill, but failed to cut out a cross-ice pass that led to the 2-2. One of the more energetic Oilers, as usual.16 Jujhar Khaira, 5. Earned an assist on the final Oilers goal, otherwise had little impact. 0 shot attempts.19 Mikko Koskinen, 3. The Sharks had 8 Grade A chances and scored 6 goals. Koskinen didn’t have much help on several of them, but needed to be better on Stefan Noesen’s garbage goal from the side of the net and Timo Meier’s bad angle rocket. 2 goals against in each period. 31 shots, 25 saves, .806 save percentage.23 Riley Sheahan, 5. Tried to make a difference at the offensive end, but couldn’t finishm especially on a play early in the second when he deked Aaron Dell but was unable to pull the puck back and into the net. The most dangerous of his 3 shots came when he tried an ill-advised pass through a d-man, only to have that puck deflect off the defender and on net. Among the burn victim’s on San Jose’s powerplay goal. Managed a secondary assist on Bear’s tally was something of a broken play.25 Darnell Nurse, 5. Came out gangbusters with a pair of primary assists on the game’s first two goals, one a little lucky, the other a sharp outlet to McDavid. Largely struggled thereafter. Took a very bad penalty for throwing his stick to Koskinen after the netminder had lost his paddle in a goal mouth collision. Got all turned around on the game winner when he and Larsson were abandoned by the forwards and couldn’t handle all three San Jose attackers. 4 hits and 4 blocks, but 3 giveaways.29 Leon Draisaitl, 3. He appeared to have very little in the tank, with heavy skating legs and little impact. His only shot of the game came on his first shift. Wound up -3 on the night and was fully deserving of the last of those when he lost position on Timo Meier. Did manage a team best 8/12=67% on the dot.39 Alex Chiasson, 4. Slow on the backcheck on the third Sharks goal. Had nothing going on offensively, with 0 shots on nets and the same numnber of contributions to major scoring chances.44 Zack Kassian, 4. Barely noticeable. On his good nights he brings skating legs, physical intensity and a little flair with the puck. On this night he had none of the three.49 Tyler Benson, 5. Gets the standard +1 bump to his grade simply for the achievement of realizing the dream and playing his first NHL game. Didn’t get a whole lot done in it, looking somewhat nervous in the process. Charged with a -1 on a play all three forwards on his line got caught up ice behind the deadly Erik Karlsson. Nearly popped one home in garbage time but was denied by Sharks defender Dylan Gambrell.56 Kailer Yamamoto, 6. Was instrumental on the first Oilers goal, winning a couple of puck battles along the walls to keep the cycle going, then getting to the net front where he tipped McDavid’s outside shot, forcing a good save and an uncontrolled rebound that led directly to the goal. All of his shots on net were highly dangerous. Showed a few teammates how it’s done in the defensive zone in one instance where he recognized the danger man and collapsed to the low slot to prevent what would have been a great look.74 Ethan Bear, 5. Chipped in on Edmonton’s first goal with a good pass which was initially announced as the second assist on the play, allthough the scorekeepers later corrected both assists on the official scoring play. Broke out of a lengthy goal-scoring drought when he scored one out of the blue on a great wrist shot from outside the prime scoring zone. Was the most successful Oiler D at moving the puck, an unfortunately low bar on this night. His best pass may have been a stretch to Sheahan during an Edmonton penalty kill. The San Jose powerplay goal appeared to deflect in off him, and he was also among the victims on the game’s final tally. He and his partner Nurse were on the ice for all three Edmonton goals and each finished the night +1.77 Oscar Klefbom, 3. Not his night. Appeared to have his stick held by the crafty veteran Patrcik Marleau and was thus unable to tie up Meier’s stick on the first Sharks’ goal. Was in the sin bin for the 2-2, having taken a double minor for high sticking. Lost a battle in the build-up to the 4-2. Took 6 minutes of penalties on the night, matching his total for the entire season of 2016-17 when he had just 6 PiM in 82 games.83 Matt Benning, 4. Played 17½ minutes with a variety of partners, primarily Lagesson. They got burned on the 5-2. Managed 4 hits but had little impact on the flow of play.84 William Lagesson, 4. A couple of flashes here and there, but no sustain. His best moment may have been a quick move into the slot for a heavy wrist shot that missed the target. Just 3 games in to his NHL career, is struggling to assert himself.89 Sam Gagner, 6. Scored the first Oiler goal by roofing a backhand from the slot. Won a neutral zone battle that helped set the stage for the second. Fired 5 shots to co-lead the team, and some strong possession metrics. Made a nice hit on E.Karlsson at the Edmonton blueline to force the puck out and (temporarily) alleviate some intense San Jose pressure. His worst moment came when he collected a loose puck in his own territory, calmly surveyed all his options, and then put the puck directly on the stick of the nearest Shark.91 Gaetan Haas, 6. Played just 12½ minutes, and was replaced more than once by McDavid for an extra shift here and there. Funny thing, the line actually performed better when Haas was out there, during which time the Oilers generated 12 shot attempts to 2 against. Made one fine rush and move in the third that culminated in a dangerous shot. Even managed to win 3/4=75% of his faceoff attempts, an area in which he has struggled. One of the few Oilers to consistently move his feet.93 Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, 4. Didn’t get much done at either end of the rink, and finished with an ugly -3 to prove it. Had one great look but fired the puck over the crossbar.97 Connor McDavid, 5. Had a wonderful opening 6 minutes which included two great solo rushes, one resulting in a great save, the other in a superb goal. Chipped in on all 5 Oilers Grade A chances in that opening flurry. But faded right out of the game thereafter, with no more scoring chances, a couple of giveaways, and some soft defensive coverage on both the third and fourth San Jose goals. The first of those was especially egregious, as he didn’t recognize the danger man (two-time Norris Trophy winner Erik Karlsson) who had jumped up to create an odd-man rush and instead floated along behind, then did a flyby of his own net front just as Maxim Letunov was collecting Karlsson’s rebound and putting it home. Also in frame on the 4-2, when he watched the goal scorer from about 5 feet away instead of engaging. Struggled on the lone Edmonton powerplay, twice turning the puck over at the offensive blueline. 2 official giveaways. A decent 8/13=62% on the dot. He’ll be on the overnight highlight reels for that lovely goal, but this wasn’t his best work.Recently at the Cult of HockeySTAPLES: Tyler Benson to make NHL debut as Tippett shuffles his deckSTAPLES: Why I like the idea of Darnell Nurse signing a two-year deal with the OilersLEAVINS: Player grades in stinker loss to ArizonaMcCURDY: Archibald, Sheahan make cases for contract extensionsFollow me on Twitter @BruceMcCurdy

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: The annual Dobby Awards. Also some playoff thoughts, Matthews vs. Marner and more (Apr 08)

Ramblings: The annual Dobby Awards. Also some playoff thoughts, Matthews vs. Marner and more (Apr 08)

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Now available – the 13th annual Interactive Playoff Draft List. Order it here, download immediately. I updated this Sunday with the latest and will update it again before the playoffs start. Tons of notes and insight on this list as well as my own picks. If you bought the Ultimate Fantasy Pack in the summer, this will be included in that purchase. It is not included in the Keeper Fantasy Pack. I did update this Sunday morning and I had to update it again in the evening because there was a problem getting goalies to appear. That is fixed now.

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First, join my NHL Bracket Challenge – the DobberHockey League of Winners.

Second, join my Dobbernomics playoff game. It’s free, it’s fun, and frankly it’s pretty challenging. You can put in your team right now under a salary cap, and then keep changing them around because transactions are unlimited until the playoffs begin.

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For all the hype that Auston Matthews gets and Mitch Marner does not – Marner has kept up with him in production, and this year is out-producing him badly. Yes, injuries…but injuries are a part of a player’s value. Marner doesn’t seem to get hurt, Matthews seems to be a lock for missing 10 games or more just from his style of play. One thing I noticed in reviewing for playoff pools – Marner had nine points in seven games last spring while Matthews had just two. Matthews brings high value as an elite sniper with size and strength in the center position – a rare commodity. But isn’t Patrick Kane a pretty rare commodity, too? Yes, I’m comparing Marner to Kane. Marner deserves more dough than Matthews. Curious to see if he gets it. The reality is, the Leafs need both players.

You know who they don’t need? William Nylander. Still shaking my head over that “not trading Nylander” comment from Kyle Dubas. He’s a great top six forward, perhaps even a first liner. But there are several dozen of him in the league. Most definitely not a rare commodity. And if he costs the team keeping the likes of Andreas Johnsson or Kasperi Kapanen (I won’t even consider them losing Marner over keeping Nylander, I shudder), then that’s too big a sacrifice.

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It’s still happening. Mark Stone joining Vegas’ 1B line hasn’t really helped that line, since it was already fairly productive. But it has had a huge impact on the 1A line. William Karlsson, Reilly Smith and Jonathan Marchessault have been red hot over the past month. Since the trade deadline:

Marchessault – 17 points in 19 games (0.89 vs. 0.67 prior to that)

Karlsson – 17 points in 19 games (0.89 vs. 0.62)

Smith – 18 points in 18 games (1.00 vs. 0.63)

Stone – 11 points in 18 games (0.61 vs. 1.05)

Stastny – 17 points in 17 games (1.00 vs. 0.76)

Pacioretty – 8 points in 16 games (0.50 vs. 0.64)

Tuch – 9 points in 19 games (0.47 vs. 0.78)

A lot of this can be explained. Tuch’s dropoff is from his being bumped from the second line. The top line, or 1A, was heavily defended against in the first half, with the opposition shutting them down and thus giving themselves the best chance to win. But with Stone there, how do you focus on anyone else? Stone has the most talent and is the biggest game breaker. How do you put your best shutdown D on the Karlsson line and leave Stone free to do as he will? You can’t. And I’m curious to see if he can step up his game and boost that line’s production in the playoffs. Right now I’m more bullish on the Karlsson line when it comes to drafting in playoff pools.

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You can so very clearly see which GMs weren’t thinking ahead and adapting, simply by looking at the overall scoring. Scoring is up this year. By a lot: 3.01 goals per game and that’s up over the 3.00 mark for the first time since 2006.. The top scoring team has 325 goals. Twenty-five teams have at least 225 goals. And then Anaheim, Los Angeles, Dallas, Minnesota and Arizona have fewer than 215? The Ducks didn’t even reach 200? Talk about being caught sleeping. With more of the net being visible thanks to smaller goalie pads, the clutching and grabbing by slower, bigger players no longer works. Now it’s about speed, and puck movement starting at D. Arizona recognizes this and are moving towards it. Minnesota also seems to suddenly get it, based on their Deadline moves. The Ducks have a solid prospect pipeline so there’s still hope there. But what of Los Angeles? Things could actually get worse there before they get better.

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This year’s Dobby’s!

Biggest Fantasy Surprise: Erik Gustafsson. Of course. This one is probably unanimous. To hit the 60-point mark as a defenseman when we weren’t even sure if he’d be a regular roster player is pretty fantastic. Six defensemen reached 60 points this season and a virtual unknown was one of them. Runner-Up: Jordan Binnington. Winnington indeed.

Lucky Linemate Award: While much of the prognosticators and journalists were going nuts over Calgary’s signing of James Neal, crowning him a potential comeback player and already christening him as Johnny Gaudreau’s linemate…I held firm on my belief in this year’s winner Elias Lindholm. As a right-shot and a backup centerman who could take faceoffs when needed, it was just too good a fit. Why would Calgary bother making that trade if not to put Lindholm on the big line? I didn’t waver and in fact traded one of my 12 keepers last summer to sub Lindholm as a keeper in his place (Clayton Keller). Just one point in his last nine games prevented him from reaching 80 points (he hit 78). Runner-Up: Cam Atkinson, who also fell short of a milestone, stopping at 69 points thanks to just six points in the last 14 games. He did hit 41 goals though.

Second-Half Stud Award: Patrick Kane’s 59 points in 39 games tied Nikita Kucherov in scoring since January 5. It was also a nice jump from his already-solid first-half pace of 51 points in 42 games. Runner-Up: Sean Couturier, who had 47 points in the last 42 games after starting out with 29 in 38. This was despite managing just three points and going minus-9 in the final seven contests.

Cha-Ching Player Trade Award: Dylan Strome. Six points in 20 games for Arizona, then off to Chicago where he picked up 51 in 58. Runner-Up: Ryan Donato. He had 16 points in 22 games after the trade. But unlike with Strome, we were still fairly comfortable with Donato eventually coming around. The trade just expedited things. Donato ended the season with just one point in seven games and minus-8, so by no means is 2019-20 guaranteed to be “the year” for him.

Second-Half Swoon Award: Patrik Laine had 20 measly points in the last 49 games after starting the season with 30 in 33. Runner-Up: Jeff Skinner was a revelation with 44 points in 45 games to start the year. He was going to demolish his career high of 63 points, no question about it. That is, until he didn’t. Just 19 in his last 37 to finish up with, you guessed it, 63 points. Congrats to anyone who traded either of these players in January.

Fantasy Player of the Year: Andrei Vasilevskiy. It’s not a coincidence that the teams that won each of my leagues that involve goalies, owned Vas. As I noted to one GM when we were discussing the fairness of the goalie points system in that league: “Owning Vasilevskiy under these rules right now is like owning Gretzky in 1986.” He only played 53 games thanks to a broken foot, and yet he still managed 39 wins. If healthy all year, he may have taken a run at 50. He also boasted a 0.925 SV% in an era where goaltenders don’t really do that very often. Runner-Up: Nikita Kucherov, who finished with 128 points, 12 more than the next player and the highest total in 23 years.

Fantasy Rookie of the Year: Jordan Winnington. I wrestled with this one for a long time because I’m a huge Elias Pettersson fan and feel he will be an elite player. As in – Top 5 in the league. Meanwhile, Binnington could Jim Carrey his way out of the NHL and become this massive bust. But we’ll always remember this year. In the end, I asked myself – which rookie did the most to help a fantasy owner win. And frankly, Winnington turned more than a few fantasy squads around on his own this year. So even though I would much sooner own Runner-Up Pettersson and Honorable Mention Rasmus Dahlin by a wide, wide, ridiculously wide margin in keeper leagues – Binnington has to be the ROY in fantasy hockey.

Fourth Year Magic Award: Dylan Larkin teased in Year 3 with 63 points and then took another huge step this season with 73. This is quite the feat when you consider that no other Detroit player reached 55. Runner-Up: Max Domi jumped from 45 points in his third year to 72. He was a big reason why the Habs made it to Game 81 before finally being eliminated from the playoffs.

Best Cap Bargain: Only one player was paid less than $10,000 per point scored, and that was Brayden Point. He had 92 points on a $650,000 salary, for just over $7,000 each. Runner-Up: Alex DeBrincat.

Cy Young Award: Viktor Arvidsson only played 58 games but he still managed 34 goals. But he had just 14 assists. Runner-Up: Tie between Jeff Skinner (40-23) and Cam Atkinson (41-28).

The Power-Play Crutch: Keith Yandle wins this one because nobody relied more heavily on the man advantage for his production than the Florida defenseman. He had just 23 points at even strength, but a whopping 39 on the power play. Nobody was even close to that ratio here. Runner-Up, and a distant one: Mike Hoffman who was at 35 for ES and 35 on the PP.

I hope you enjoyed this year’s Dobby’s!

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Two other players I looked at for a fantasy boost after being traded: Tanner Pearson (the second time he was dealt), Jordan Weal (the second time he was dealt) and Jared McCann. In 19 games with Vancouver, Pearson had 12 points. Not great, but still quite the improvement. It looks even better, though, when you see that he ended the year with nine points in nine games. He showed great chemistry with Bo Horvat towards the end and I think he can get back to that 45-to-55 potential we saw in him earlier.

Jordan Weal has teased us at the end of the season like this before. And the last time he did it, he was set to become a UFA and earned himself a two-year, one-way contract. I think his progress was derailed by the Flyers lucking into the draft lottery win and adding Nolan Patrick to the lineup. It nudged Weal down the roster and he hasn’t done much of anything since. Here he is, set to become a UFA again and he ends things in Montreal with eight points in nine games. What kind of contract he earns from that should determine how much of a chance he will get. And to be fair – he had plenty of top-six opportunities in Arizona, but couldn’t find the chemistry. He is clearly a guy who will lean on chemistry with a talented player for his points.

And McCann, of course, had that wonderful run as Sidney Crosby’s linemate and picking up 10 points in eight games just after the deadline. But the magic seemed to vanish as he managed just four points in the final 12 contests. Next year could almost be considered his fourth (he played 29 games in 2016-17), so that definitely nudges me towards drafting him in the summer as a sleeper pick. He has played 244 career games so it’s right in that wheelhouse for a breakout.

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I didn’t know that Joe Thornton had 29 points in his last 33 games. He’s sailing into the postseason truly on a roll and if you like the Sharks to go deep, you may want to nudge him up your playoff draft lists.

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The reason I am not a big fan of Alex Nylander in keeper leagues – injuries. He had himself a nice season this year taking a big step forward in his pro career after a couple of steps backward. But he had a different injury wipe out two of his training camps, back-to-back, and then finally getting an opportunity with Buffalo that looks as though he is there to stay – and he gets hurt again. If every time he gets some sort of opportunity or gets on a role he suffers an injury, he’s never going to get going. There are too many other prospects to roll the dice on, so I’ll leave the younger Nylander to someone else.

I just realized I’m kinda trashing on both Nylander brothers today. Time to write something nice: Both have tremendous upside and I really like William as a potential first-liner – no matter what team he plays for. In fact I think it’s better for both him and the Leafs if he went somewhere else. He would flourish elsewhere, and they would address some serious needs. I also don’t rule out Alex as a potential top sixer, to be clear what I wrote above was that other GMs can take a chance on him, I will look at other prospects who aren’t getting hurt.

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See you next Monday. Good luck in your playoff pool drafts, and that link again for the Draft List is here.

    from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-the-annual-dobby-awards-also-some-playoff-thoughts-matthews-vs-marner-and-more-apr-08/

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Boston's Self Own, Summer of Ovi Rages On, and No Sign and Trades

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: NBC Sports Boston – Their twitter account decided to make a joke about the Blackhawks playing at Notre Dame. It ended up being the equivalent of cutting across the blueline with your head down and getting smoked.

Shot:

Chaser:

Get the stretcher, I don't think they're walking this one off.

The second star: The NHL store – This image from the official league site, found by a Reddit user, is ice cold.

The first star: Alexander Ovechkin is celebrating again – Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation would be almost over and you'd start to get really sad about it? That's how I feel about Ovechkin's month-long Cup celebration right now. Ah well, at least we'll always have this extremely NSFW video of his very favorite song to remember the good times.

Also, here's Dmitri Orlov singing the same song to Ovechkin's mom, which isn't weird at all.

Be It Resolved

The Montreal Canadiens made some headlines recently. No, they didn't trade Max Pacioretty. No, they didn't finally acquire the first-line center they've been chasing for years. No, they didn’t find an invitation to the John Tavares sweepstakes at the bottom of their backpack and realize they hadn't been excluded after all. Look, I didn't say they made good headlines.

No, the Habs made news by announcing that Shea Weber will miss six months after having knee surgery. The strange part is that the team had known about this for weeks, and just decided not to tell anyone. GM Marc Bergevin went through his entire end-of-season press conference without mentioning it, then had the team slip it into a press release after everyone had left town. Not surprisingly, this has raised a few questions.

Clearly, Habs fans can be annoyed by this, since it suggests that they can't really trust what team management is telling them. And it plays into the larger pattern of teams around the league not wanting to tell their fans anything. That's been getting better lately, with most teams being more transparent around contracts and trade details, but it still happens.

But while the move opened the Canadiens up to some well-deserved criticism, it at least gave us something to talk about right around the time the NHL offseason gets boring. That's worth something. And maybe we can build on it.

So be it resolved: From now on, every NHL team should keep one semi-important story secret during the offseason.

The Habs have already shown us how it's done. Let's have everyone else follow their lead. Every team picks one thing—an injury, a signing, a trade, a buyout—and just doesn't tell us about it. Then we have to try to figure it out on our own. The only rule is that if someone guesses right, the GM has to fess up and tell us.

It would be fun. And it would give us all something to think about during those six or seven summer weeks when nothing is happening. Sometimes, we'd figure it out quickly. Other times it would take some work to piece everything together. Maybe there'd be a breakthrough, where some fan captures grainy footage of a star player limping around, or a "for sale" sign going up in front of a fourth-liner's house. Sometimes we'd make it to September without an answer, at which point we could have a fun press conference where the GM comes out and admits that the starting goalie retired two months ago and they don't have a replacement.

We already don't have any insiders around to break the news, since they're all at their cottage compounds trying to remember what their spouse looks like and how sleep works. So let's do the polite thing and wait until they're back before we wrap up all the loose ends.

Let's make this happen. Just like the next half-dozen draft lotteries, it isn't fair that Habs fans get all the fun.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's been a rough summer for Canucks fans. Their team's offseason strategy seems to be "sign all the fourth-liners you can to multi-year contracts," and even then they're getting out-hustled by the Islanders in that department. So today, let's help Vancouver fans celebrate the anniversary of one of the happiest moments in franchise history: The day that Mark Messier officially went the hell back where he came from.

That would be July 13, 2000, the day that Messier re-signed with the Rangers after three disastrous years in Vancouver. His divorce from the Canucks was already a done deal by then, but seeing him pull another team's jersey on helped give Vancouver fans some closure on what to this day stands as the biggest debacle in franchise history.

So today, let's mark the occasion by bestowing Obscure Player honors on a former Canucks captain that the entire fan base doesn't hate: Chris Oddleifson.

Oddleifson was a big center who was originally picked by the Oakland Seals in the 1970 draft, two picks behind Darryl Sittler and eight picks after the Canucks made Dale Tallon their first ever pick after the whole roulette wheel debacle. But the Oddleifson pick is probably more famous for another reason—it was the one the Seals acquired from Montreal as part of the classic Sam Pollock fleecing that saw them give up their 1971 first, which turned into Guy Lafleur.

Oddleifson never made it to California, as he was traded to the Bruins in 1971 and made his NHL debut in Boston during the 1972-73 season. In February 1974, the Bruins dealt him to the Canucks as part of a trade for the wonderfully named Bobby Schmautz. Oddleifson originally wore No. 11 in Vancouver, which was fine because he didn't force the team to take it out of retirement, unlike some players we could mention.

He broke through with the Canucks beginning in 1974-75, putting up 51 points and following that with a career-high 62 the following season. He did most of that damage on a line with Gerry O'Flaherty and Garry Monahan (who you might remember as the first overall pick in the league's first ever draft). For a franchise still finding its footing, Oddleifson's contributions were enough to earn him the honor of serving as the team's third ever captain, following in the footsteps of Orland Kurtenbach and Andre Boudrias. He did not force a beloved franchise icon like Trevor Linden to relinquish his "C," unlike some players we could mention.

Oddleifson's stint as captain lasted only that 1976-77 season, as he gave way to the combo of Don Lever and Kevin McCarthy. But he remained on the team until he was sent to the minors in 1980. He'd play a few years in Europe before retiring and going on to a career in real estate.

He occasionally showed up at Canucks alumni events and old-timer games, because the fans in Vancouver still like him and don't desperately want to pretend that his captaincy never happened. Unlike some players we could mention.

Trivial Annoyance of the Week

It's the NHL offseason, which means we've just had several weeks of constant speculation over various transactions that could happen. Many involve trades, and some of those involve players whose contracts have either expired or will soon. And inevitably, that speculation can only mean one thing: Somebody somewhere is going to suggest that we might see a sign-and-trade.

Everyone, please stop doing this.

A sign-and-trade isn't really a thing. At least, not in the NHL. It's something you occasionally see in the NBA, where the CBA carves out a special kind of transaction in which a signing and a trade are combined together to allow a player to reap certain contractual benefits he couldn't get on a new team. Years ago, that might mean getting a full max salary, although the rules have since been changed to narrow that loophole. Today, NBA sign-and-trades are relatively rare, although they still happen occasionally.

But that's the NBA. In the NHL, there really isn't any situation in which it makes sense for a team to sign a player before trading him, except for one—a star player who is about to leave as a UFA, and wants to get the maximum eight-year deal on his new team. If John Tavares had insisted on an eight-year contract with the Leafs, the only way to get it would have been for him to sign that deal with the Islanders, who would then immediately trade him to Toronto for players or picks. But while that scenario is at least plausible, it wouldn't make much sense for anyone involved. The Leafs wouldn't want to give up assets to sign an unrestricted free agent, and the Islanders wouldn't want to surrender their extra-year advantage in negotiations, or to help Tavares get more money after he'd already decided to abandon them.

Beyond that very limited and probably unrealistic scenario, there's really no reason for the sign-and-trade concept to ever come up in the NHL. If some team wants to trade for Erik Karlsson or Artemi Panarin or Max Pacioretty and sign them to a long-term extension, they'd just do that. There'd be no need for the Senators or Blue Jackets or Canadiens to be involved in the contract. The teams would just agree on the trade, and the player would immediately sign an extension with his new team. That's it. Boring, maybe, but it's how NHL trades work.

The one NHL sign-and-trade you hear mentioned from time to time is Marian Hossa going from Ottawa to Atlanta within hours of signing a contract extension back in 2005. The fact that you have to go back 13 years to find an example should tell you something, but even that move doesn't fit because Hossa wasn't in on it. He thought he was signing to stay in Ottawa, and then the team swerved him by immediately trading him. Reportedly, he wasn't very happy about it, and rightly so. That's not how the whole concept is supposed to work.

And yet you still hear about NHL sign-and-trades at this time of year. Why? I have no idea, although my theory is that it just sounds cool. It's a term we hear thrown around in another sport, we don't fully understand what it means, so we start tossing it into hockey rumors to see if it fits.

But it doesn't. NHL sign-and-trades basically don't exist. So let's stop bringing the idea up.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

It can't be all that fun to be Bobby Ryan these days. Not only is he stuck on the worst-run franchise in the league, but that team has made it very clear that they desperately want to get rid of him. Normally, a pending escape from Ottawa would be good news. But the Senators have been so aggressive in trying to attach Ryan and his ridiculous contract to any Erik Karlsson, trade that it's got to be tough not to take it personally. And if he does get moved as part of a Karlsson deal, Ottawa fans will forever blame him for watering down the return. That can't be fun.

So today, let's look back on a Bobby Ryan trade that actually worked out pretty well. We only have to go back seven years to find it.

It's December 12, 2010, and Ryan and the Ducks are hosting the Minnesota Wild. It's a pretty typical and frankly not all that interesting regular season game that the Ducks will eventually win 6-2. But something strange is about to happen. If you've never seen the clip before, see if you can spot it before the announcers do.

The puck bounces around in the corner for a bit, and the first thing we notice is Ryan gesturing at the referee about something. He doesn't have a stick at this point, and there's one lying nearby, so it's not hard to put two and two together about what happened. Or is it?

Check out No. 20 on the Wild. That's Antti Miettinen, and he seems very confused about something. He's got the missing stick in front of him on the ice, and is half-heartedly pushing it back in the direction of Ryan. As the announcers point out, that's kind of a weird thing to do, since Ryan plays for the other team. Hmm….

Ryan does indeed pick up the stick, and just in time. A deflected shot bounces over to him, and he buries it into an open net. He immediately holds the stick up and waving it in Mikko Koivu's face, which seems like an odd way to celebrate a goal. Trust me, this is all going somewhere.

Also, and Senator fans can back me up on this, I'm pretty sure this is the most recent footage of Bobby Ryan scoring a goal.

Our announcers are still trying to figure out what happened, and why Miettinen was so worried about an opponent's stick. "That was absolutely bizarre," says one. He's right, but not for the reason he thinks.

We get a pair of replays, which don't shed much light on the situation but do highlight the celebration. Seriously, if you've never seen this clip before and you're just following along, go back to the beginning and see if you can catch what actually happened. It's one of those great "When you see it" moments.

Our clip skips ahead to later in the game, as our announcers have finally clued into what just happened. We got to a slow motion replay, complete with a Howie Meeker-style "stop it right there." This time, we can see that it's actually Koivu who doesn't have a stick… right up until he collides with Ryan and just blatantly rips his stick out of his hand.

That explains Ryan's reaction, and his complaint to the referee, since I'm pretty sure stealing somebody's stick and playing the rest of the shift with it should fall under the "holding the stick" section of the rulebook. It also explains Miettinen's confusion, since it was teammate's stick he was trying to retrieve, even though all his teammates still had one.

Also, the game is still going on at this point and the announcers don't care. That's my favorite part of the whole sequence. We get another replay, and with that our clip ends and all charges against Miettinen are dropped.

You can see another version of the play, in which the announcers realize what's happening right away, right here. Koivu actually tried to go to the officials and get the goal overturned, which is pretty rich. "Hey ref, he has an illegal stick. No, don't worry about which stick I'm using, we're talking about that guy."

And that's it. An underrated part of this whole scenario is that Ryan is a right-handed and Koivu is a lefty. You can see Koivu kind of fumble with Ryan's stick when he realizes that. More importantly, it means Ryan scored the goal with his curve facing the wrong way, which is pretty impressive.

Wait, are we absolutely sure he gave the stick back? Has Ryan's slump over the last few seasons been because he's still using a backwards curve? The Senators may want to look into that.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com.

DGB Grab Bag: Boston's Self Own, Summer of Ovi Rages On, and No Sign and Trades published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

Puck Daddy Bag of Mail: What have the Caps done differently this time around?

Could this be it?

Just hours after this article goes live on the worldwide web, the Stanley Cup Final could come to an end. And with that, the hockey season ends.

But hey, there’s still at least 60 more minutes of hockey left, so let’s savor it while we can. We won’t all be back here again until mid-September! So hey, you’ve got Cup Final questions? I’ve got answers to those questions, folks!

Let’s go:

Graham asks: “Why were people getting on the Caps for “humiliating” Vegas and “running up the score?”

Because hockey people are the worst!

The only justification I can find for that talk, within my own understanding of the sport, is that Vegas was getting awful pissed off about getting fed its lunch so consistently throughout the game. You know Ryan Reaves wanted to murder Tom Wilson at some point and the broader the score margin, the more likely that was to happen. That was a chippy third period in no small part because Vegas knew the game was over after the first and wanted to do a little message-sending.

If you’re Washington, it is perhaps arguable that you do not want that message sent to you.

But yeah I mean if you’re arguing it because Vegas doesn’t “deserve” to lose like that or something, you’re a dope. Vegas and every other team in the world deserves to lose by however much they lose by. This is how the sport works. This is how all sports work. Especially professional sports! These guys are millionaire elite athletes. Who cares.

Grunfeld asks: “How much do you think Holtby’s rest all season is helping him now?”

Am I allowed to say, “I don’t think it’s a thing at all?”

Holtby’s problem in the playoffs has arguably been “workload” maybe once ever. And even then, it was one or two bad series so I’m not sitting here going “Holtby taking eight extra games off in January really turned this around for the Caps.”

Braden Holtby has been a beast for the Caps. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/NHLI via Getty Images)

The guy has basically deserved to get this deep (well, maybe not “one win away from a Final” deep) for six or seven years. He finally does it, but it’s probably not because Barry Trotz stopped using him for a little while.

Donald asks: “What has Ovie figured out or put together this time around? Is the pure goal scorer doing more?”

I’m gonna say the same thing about Ovechkin that I just said about Holtby: People want to put post-facto explanations on performance they otherwise don’t want to wrap their heads around.

When Holtby and Ovechkin were losing in the second round every single year because no one else on the team could put the puck in the ocean from the end of a pier, they weren’t at fault. They’re playing great now, to be sure, but do you think Ovechkin at 33 years old was like, “Well, what if I tried backchecking this year?”

There is truly nothing in the numbers to suggest Ovechkin is doing all that much differently. I mentioned this a few weeks ago but not-playing him 24 minutes a night or whatever is probably helping keep the goals against down, if you think Ovechkin is a huge defensive liability.

But the other thing that’s really important to keep in mind here is that this year and last are really the only two times Washington had two real scoring lines. The emergence of Kuznetsov this year as an elite offensive talent (rather than simply being a player with elite skill) is why that line looks so good now. Hope this helps.

Scott asks: “Why is it a “veteran move” when a player skates slower to get an icing called? Do they not call icing until NHL? Seemed to remember doing that when I was 12 years old.”

I can’t find the tweet now but someone on Twitter wondered aloud why it’s incumbent upon the attacking team to hustle to catch up with an iced puck at all. There’s no incentive for it.

I’d never thought about it that way, but yeah it really doesn’t make any sense, so when players do that in an effort to run a few extra seconds off the clock while simultaneously getting a faceoff in the attacking end again. To your point, it’s not some genius move, it’s the only reasonable thing to do.

This is another reason why I think automatic icing is good, but whatever.

Brendan asks: “Which is sweeter: Washington winning in 5 in Vegas to put a great end to the “Vegas is very good actually” talk, or Vegas winning in 7 to keep the Washington curse alive?”

Definitely the second one. If the Caps somehow blow this lead, I might never stop laughing. To get so far, to basically have everyone in hockey call this series over after the Game 4 blowout, and then to fall apart like this? That would be unreal.

I think there’s really not much of a chance of that actually happening, but if it did, boy oh boy.

Bobby asks: “What figure formerly affiliated with the Caps over the past 10 years is most apoplectic watching this run?”

Bruce Boudreau, no question.

His Caps teams were so so so so so much better than this one and he couldn’t get them anywhere close to getting over the hump. Meanwhile, he’s suffered the same fates in Anaheim (which by the way has only gotten worse since he was fired) and Minnesota (which by the way is not really suited to deep playoff runs) that he always did in Washington.

Not that I particularly think he has a lot of blame to bear for almost all of those losses — he’s one of the best coaches alive — but how does this not drive you bonkers?

Chris asks: “Does Vegas sign Carlson in the offseason?”

Well they certainly have the money and the need. Nate Schmidt getting a little bit exposed in this series was, perhaps, to be expected, because he’s just a good No. 2 guy, not a No. 1.

I’m not super convinced that John Carlson is going to have the kind of revelatory run with whatever team gives him $60 million this summer that most might think based on his level of performance this season. Anywhere he goes probably won’t put him in a position to rack up 43 of his 87 points between the regular season and playoffs on the power play, right?

I mean, you’d be nuts to think a 28-year-old defender who just shattered his personal single-season points record is going to keep that up for, what, three more years, let alone seven.

Which is why I like the Erik Karlsson-Bobby Ryan trade for Vegas a lot more than throwing John Carlson this kind of money. On the other hand, Vegas is certainly getting in a lot of “seen him good” time in this Cup Final, so I bet they’re interested.

Mike asks: “Conn Smythe winner?”

Technically it should go to Kuznetsov because he has just been phenomenal throughout the playoffs, then elevated his game in the Cup Final. He’s got points in 12 of his last 13 games in this postseason, and the one he didn’t score in was the one where he got hurt.

Going into the Cup Final he had an impressive 11-13-24 in 19 games. In the Cup Final, he’s already up to 1-6-7 in just four games.

Kuznetsov is one of only five guys in the cap era to clear 30 points in a postseason. Only he, Sid Crosby and Evgeni Malkin — both in 2008-09 — are north of 31 as well. The two guys tied at 30 are 2009-10 Dany Briere and 2015-16 Logan Couture.

You can also argue Holtby and I’m very much for it. He’s been phenomenal and there’s the storyline element of “he didn’t even get a start until Game 3 of the first round.”

But morally, you gotta give it to Ovechkin, right? He’s been really great too, and my man is having the time of his life!

Any of those three guys are perfectly acceptable, especially now that Fleury has completely folded in on himself. But c’mon, it’s Ovechkin’s, right?

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Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

All stats via Corsica unless noted otherwise. Some questions in the mailbag are edited for clarity or to remove swear words, which are illegal to use.

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