#erica2283

[jung-koook]

We all grieve differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. All of your feelings are valid. There are fans who are choosing to try to not be sad and look to the happiness of welcoming them home. And there are those who can't get past the sadness of letting them go for 18 months. I'm still in the "can't let him/them go" phase. It appears that you are as well. That's fine. In order to deal with that sadness I'm choosing to start a JK journal once he enlists. I'm going to write my thoughts down each and every day he's gone. I think the best way to deal with grief is to acknowledge your hurt and express your emotions. It's not good to leave them bottled up inside you. I'm famous for doing that, and then I just wind up exploding. So for me, the best way to express those emotions is to write them down. Even if it's just one or two lines on a page, at least I'm expressing how I feel. I don't know if you keep a journal, but if not, maybe that is something that could help you deal with your sadness.

what you said here is so beautiful! I feel hugged by you. thank you so much. I think what you said is something so comforting to do and I'm going to try to do it. I feel like I'm better at getting my feelings out by talking about them than writing them down. but I will definitely try to do it. thank you. ♡

[orchidyoonkook]

If you watch one episode of Run BTS a day, it's about six months. I'm playing a numbers game. There is so much content to watch. So if you watch one thing a day, by they time you're done it will June 2025! LOL That's what I'm doing anyway.

You have no idea how tempted I am. I have intentionally not watched things like the Bon Voyage and half the movies just so I can experience them for the first time while the boys are gone. So it still feels like new content for me. I haven’t seen half the Run BTS’s and while I thought I was missing out. I’m actually happy I’ve held off. This is a great suggestion too. Thank you!!!

[btsgotjams27]

Well damn that drabble was sad. But I'm glad we got to see JK's thoughts. You know, this story could easily be one of those stories where the main guy and girl don't wind up together. Those stories break my heart. The writer and reader spend so much time becoming emotionally invested in the characters, just for them to wind up not getting a happy ending. I know you've said it would be a happy ending. But from the position the two of them are in, especially him, neither one of them have any hope of getting back together. Each of them are thinking about how to move forward without the other. It's sad to read, because I really can't begin to think about what could possibly bring them back together. And if their reunion is years down the line, it's plausible that one of them would find someone else to love instead. You know those stories where they get reunited and one of them has a fiance. Those hurt the most.

erica, omg. hahahah. i'm sorry! we're still in our sad boy/sad girl era :') oof--ngl i have a love/hate relationship with those stories. like it hurts so good and you're rooting for the two mains, but life happens and one moves onto other things.

i know it seems like there's no hope for them to get back together (hehe that's my intention) but have no fear, there will be an opportunity to rekindle things :) will it be easy for them, though? probably not :')

and when TIU is done, i'll talk a little bit about what i originally wanted for the ending and it was something along the lines of one of them moving on w/o the other.

[astayinwonderland]

Found your blog on a recommendation for Whose Idea Was It, Though? It was so good. I kinda wish it was a longer one shot. I'm so curious to see all the annoying things he did to her that led up to her taking him as her plus one. For being super annoying, he sure is hot!!

Omggg hiiii darling! Thank you so much the feedback. It makes me really happy you enjoyed this fic. Actually, that would be so great! The brain is thinking things. I would gladly be writing more to this…maybe even their first date (;

[hisunshiine]

Oh damn that ending! I wonder what she's thinking now that he might actually bring another girl to the wedding. I hope there is going to be a conversation after everyone leaves. Is she really going to let him take another girl and not say anything to him? Is he going to bring it up after everyone leaves? I really hope he asks her to go with him. Someone has to make the first move. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Hi! Ahhhhhh I wish I could tell you what happens now! I’m always so bad with waiting and always want to give surprises and presents early 😭 but I’m going to practice restraint this time and hopefully 🤞🏽 you will enjoy the last 3 installments!!

Thank you so much for reading!!! It means a lot!

[sxtaep]

I am about to start Illicit Desires, because so many of your followers comment about it. I want to see what I'm missing! LOL I feel like it's gonna be a really good ride.

AHEKEHWH please 😭😭😭 don’t get your hopes up, it may be very poorly written and there’s just too much smut in it fr 😭😱

i hope you enjoy it though 🤭

[shina913]

I read Gradation over the last few days, and I have lots of thoughts. I really loved your JK. He was so kind and supportive and cared so much about her. You could really feel how much he loved her. As for OC, she was dead to me the moment she chose Derek, the man who left her at the alter, over JK. She just let him walk out of her life for the man who left her the altar. What??? It felt so out of character for her. The whole story she kept saying over and over and over again how much she loved having JK as a friend. And she made so much progress over the year getting over Derek, and then she chooses him over her best friend... I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was so heartbroken for him. And then she sees, once again, what kind of person Derek is, after both JK and Hobi told her to stay far away from him. It just felt so out of character for her to ignore two close friends to give a second chance to the man she spent a year needing therapy to get over.

When that happened I was hoping so hard that he wouldn't go to her and that he would stand his ground and let her be miserable over what she found out about Derek. I wanted her to experience some type of repercussion for choosing that lowlife scum over her best friend. But no, JK just comes crawling back to her, like a little puppy with his tail between his legs and all is forgotten. He had no pride or dignity to stand up for himself over the way she treated him. She barely had any apology or explanation for picking Derek over him. The way I see it, OC jumped from guy to guy, and when she couldn't have the guy she really wanted (Derek or Jin), she "settled" on JK. Almost like "Oh, well this guy says he loves me, so I'll just settle for him" type of a thinking. It seemed that JK was her 4th option, after options 1 through 3 failed. And JK was too good of a person to be a 4th option. There was very little mention after the Hawaii vacation about her having any feelings for JK. Nor was there any mention of her missing him when she threw him out of her life. She didn't seem upset at all. She just cast him out of her life like he didn't mean anything to her. So it was very difficult for me to accept that all of a sudden, like a flick of switch, she wanted to be with him and was in love with them. There wasn't enough buildup for me to see her fall in love with him. I think JK deserved better than the way she treated him. I wanted to see her fight for him to prove that she actually had feelings for him. I wanted to see her miss him and be sad over the fact that she went weeks without seeing or talking to him. I wanted her to show him that she valued him as a friend and a lover. And she didn't do any of those things.

Regardless of all those feelings, I really did want them to end up together. So while I'm happy they did, it left me with a very cold, empty happiness because of the abrupt way they wound up together. For me, there wasn't enough development from her from the time she threw him out to the time she decided she loved him. That threw me for a loop because there was so much development from her from the time she was left at the altar to the whole Derek re-do. I think if he didn't forgive her right away, and time was spent on re-building their friendship, and then slowly a romantic relationship, I would feel entirely different. I needed more time to watch them reconnect to each other the way they were connected in Hawaii, and unfortunately, they just didn't get back there for me. That made me sad because I loved them together so much in the beginning of the story, and then at the end she just slammed the door in my face and left me out in the cold.

Hi, thank you for this ask! I wanted to take my time to address this properly–and so sorry but this is LONG! In the end, I just want to make it clear that I’m not challenging your observations or takeaways. My aim is only to explain/rationalize my plot decisions.

Full disclosure, this was my first series and at the time, I was still trying to figure out character and plot development for my fan-fics. That said, you have some valid points here. 

OC is a flawed character and she’s been through an emotional rollercoaster since being left at the altar. JK has helped her out a lot during that stage in her life in addition to seeking therapy for herself to get through that. I wanted the healing process to be a whole journey for her. Some people who have or are going through any kind of treatment or intervention know that it doesn’t get fixed overnight. Even if you’ve taken the time and done the sessions, you’ll have days when you feel great and days when you fall back into your habits. No matter how many tools you are given by a professional or how much support you have from family and friends to manage or deal with those issues, you could still regress.

Healing is a nonlinear journey. There will be detours and roadblocks before you can get to your destination. The timeline is a bit wonky in the fic but from when OC was left at the altar up until Derek’s return–this all happened within a span of a year (roughly) and…it’s a lot for OC! That’s where I was coming from, as a writer, while plotting out her character.

For JK and OC’s relationship, I really wanted the main focus to be on their friendship and closeness while giving that underlying hint of a possible romance. In the beginning, OC is getting married and JK is her “man of honor.” There’s no sort of ulterior motive from JK–he really was just a supportive friend.

I also wanted to note that JK was actively dating at the time–even right before the wedding. In fact, shortly after the incident, he was ghosting a girl. But way before that, he had a long-term girlfriend whom he did long-distance with and even followed to a different country to see if things would work out (which they didn’t). Having laid that out, OC and JK really were just friends to begin with until a whole bunch of things happened, which became the catalyst for them to even consider going past the platonic stage.

That said, I would disagree with your comment that JK was OC’s “fourth option” because I tried to establish that neither of them was the other’s option, to begin with. You reference the Hawaii chapters. While that vacation was a revelation for JK, it wasn’t for OC. In hindsight, I probably should have also tagged this trope as idiots-to-lovers…but I digress!

For JK’s part, I made allusions in some flashbacks about him wanting to get together with OC back in college but then Derek swooped in. JK could have spoken up at that point because she just started dating the guy–she wasn’t marrying him. Instead, JK chose to continue being her friend without ever bringing it up. And he made that choice more than once in the story.

When Jin came along and expressed interest, JK could have cockblocked him and said that OC was seeing someone and continued on with the fuck-buddy setup. Instead, JK made the choice to give her number to Jin–leaving that door open for him. And when confronted by OC, instead of addressing it, he decided to be a baby about it and pushed his feelings aside.

I also wouldn’t characterize JK as somebody without fault. As you said, he basically didn’t stand up for himself while OC picked her ex over him–yes, that’s true. In addition to OC’s failure in her judgment, there was also some failure in communication on JK’s part. OC is not a mind-reader and at the time, she’s also irrational. Not an excuse for her decision but…does irrationality need to be rationalized?

And OC “jumping from guy to guy?” From my perspective, OC is dating. She and JK have a friendship and were having a sexual relationship but for all intents and purposes, she’s single and he’s single. No romantic commitments were made between them and they tried to establish that when they got back from their vacation. Sleep together now but if a potential relationship comes along–we stop. Of course, that “agreement” as we know, is not clear-cut.

My characterization of OC is that she’s a giver. She takes care of her friends and her family, but she’s also a people-pleaser. You’ll see hints of this throughout the story. Again, I’m not mentioning this to justify her actions and decisions but it’s to show that it was not out of character for her to try to get that closure with Derek. Was this an infuriating move on her part given the history? Yes. Was it out of character? I don’t think so.

And maybe I didn’t illustrate it well in writing but my intention was to deliberately have OC draw a line and maintain some distance with Derek even as he is trying to re-establish a relationship with her. To be clear, the relationship she was consenting to was not romantic or physical at this point in the story. But the fact was, she and Derek were together for several years, engaged to be married, and planning to build a life and future together. Yes, he hurt her but he was also familiar to her. She had no idea about what he did. Her ignorance should not be an excuse but it is.

Even people who break up attempt some form of friendship or an ounce of civility after that relationship ends (depending on how things ended, of course). It may not happen often but it happens in real life! And it’s that kind of reality that I wanted to add to the story. No matter how much work you’ve done on yourself, and how many boundaries you’ve set, you will still have moments of vulnerability and susceptibility. That’s what I wanted to channel for OC.

Regarding OC and JK getting together, I wanted JK to waver a little after he got that phone call from Hobi. But once he got the call from Derek, he immediately goes out to meet him. My original thought going into that plot decision was that JK wanted to see for himself what OC sees in this guy. 

When he realizes that this guy ain’t shit–it’s when JK finally decides for himself that he’s done stepping aside and wants to be the choice for OC. Did it have to take a broken engagement, a fuck-buddy situation, a rich boyfriend, and the ex-fiance returning for JK to realize that? FUCK YES! And did I want them to make up that quickly? Also yes! That’s how I wanted it to play out. I think at a certain point, after all of the suffering and angst that I put my characters through, you bet I wanted that instant gratification, plain and simple!

It’s part of the reason why I didn’t feel that it was necessary for OC and JK to rebuild their friendship and then have it slowly build into a romantic relationship. I would liken this to making repairs to a home: you know there’s some structural damage there but it’s not so severe that you have to tear down the whole foundation and rebuild from the ground up–you just need to reinforce it so it doesn’t fall apart. It’s my opinion that OC and JK did not have this “catastrophic” damage to their friendship so I didn’t think it was necessary to do another slow-burn–for JK to give OC a dose of her medicine. I didn’t want JK to be vengeful. Sure, he had flaws and she fucked up but he would not be vengeful toward her.

Now, I will say that in hindsight, my BIG regret is not beefing up OC’s realization that she’s in love with JK. I realize that I didn’t really give that moment that it needed in the narrative and it ended up getting buried in the flurry–so I agree with your observation. As I said, this was my first series and I was trying to wrap it up but the aha-moment felt a bit lacking, which muddied the ending for you. I appreciate you pointing that out and I’ll definitely make a note of that in the next series that I write!

If you’re still reading up to this point, THANK YOU! And I want to also say that the points that were mentioned here are risks that a fan-fic writer takes with a reader-insert story. I have to contend with what my fictional OC would do versus what you, as a reader-insert, would do if/when faced with a similar situation. And end-user perspectives and opinions are out of my control because I can’t tell you how to feel or what to think; I can only try to explain why I wrote the story as such. But this is also precisely why I invite feedback because although I have a certain writing style that’s my own, I don’t want to tell the same story each and every time.

I’m always looking into different ways to tell a story but if I don’t receive any feedback or challenges to my plot points, then I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing. So, thank you for reading the fic and giving me notes and commentary! I appreciate you!

[taegularities]

I have dry eyes too, but it's from wearing contacts for 20+ years plus I look at a computer screen all day. I would suggest that you go for a eye exam. They can give you stronger eye drops than what you buy in the store. Dry eyes can be a sign of something worse. But if you look at a computer/cell phone all day, it could be from that. My eye doctor has told me many times that you blink less when you look at electronic devices, which dry your eyes out. I use Systane drops. That is the only brand my eye doctor has ever recommended. They are very good lubricating drops.

yeah, i use systane drops bc that's what my optometrist recommended (twice within 4 momths 😭). it's gotten so bad that my eyes can't go without it for even hours... i'll try another doc, too :( thank you, love 🤍

[violetsiren90]

I really enjoyed the first chapter of Blame Me. I hope your inspiration for the story returns so you're able to put out more chapters. It's really well written and I'm enjoying all the characters so far. I already get the feeling that Jungkook has or has had feelings for OC. I'm looking forward to watching their story unfold.

Hello!! 💜

Thank you so much for reading Blame Me!! The fact that you find it entertaining and well-written means so so much to me because I had to really put a lot of effort into getting it out of my head and onto the page, and I had some real doubts about posting it!

I'm so glad you're enjoying the characters- they are my favorite thing about this fic. They all have so much life and shape in my mind, and I'm trying my best to do them justice!

I'm getting a lot more time to write and think about writing lately, so there will definitely be another update on the horizon after I tend to a couple of other projects.

Thank you so much for the feedback, it means everything to me and gives me so much motivation to move forward with this story and these characters!! 💕💕💕

[jimilter]

Just finished the new installment of TD&HK. They were doing so well together through the whole chapter, and then that ending happened. I'm so sad now. I felt really bad for him. He thinks that she doesn't want him and has completely withdrawn. She's gonna be so hurt thinking that she doesn't mean anything to him. I guess the next chapter is gonna have some angst. Is it the last chapter?

hello, dearest reader! 🥺 yes, that is absolutely true, she's gonna be really hurt :( and the next chapter will contain that hurt in BULK, so it will def be very angst-heavy :(

i am not fully certain if it'll be the last chapter, tbh. i do plan to make it the final one, but i have quite a few things in mind that i'd like to do with these characters, including exploring things separately w their povs. so if all of that clutters the next part, i will extend the series to a sixth chapter! :D

thank you so much for reading and leaving me your very valuable feedback! sending you love! 🥺❤

[magicshopaholic]

I was just able to read Unfinished Business, and I was nervous about reading it based on the asks you've been getting. My heart was kinda sad at the end. I was hoping JK and Lia would be solid now and live happily ever after, but I guess angst is coming. It has to be a member's girlfriend, and if so he lied to her when he told her he hasn't seen her for years. I think she's gonna be upset when she finds out it's someone close to her. Plus, how uncomfortable is she going to be having to see the woman that JK loved (still has feelings for?) quite frequently. Lia is gonna be constantly questioning whether he's looking at the other woman when they're in the same room instead of Lia, or if he's talking to her, what they're saying. There is going to be a constant sense of jealously and distrust for Lia. And I'm sure whatever member it is doesn't know about JK's feelings for his girlfriend, so that's gonna put a strain on their friendship when he finds out. I feel very anxious for what is to come for them.

Aww, I get it. It was definitely an uncomfortable ending with a lot of open questions. I’ll let readers infer what Lia (and Jungkook) might be feeling at the moment. As to whether there will be trust issues in their future, it depends on how Lia finds out and whether Jungkook is open with her. Who the girl is, what their situation is now - that will be revealed in time. As for the member… I won’t reveal too much, but he probably does suspect Jungkook’s feelings to some extent.

All will make sense in time! Thank you for reading and reviewing <3

[jung-koook]

They're gonna keep us so busy with content, we won't have time to miss them! LOL I figured it out, and if you watch one episode of Run BTS a day, it will take you about 6 months to finish. So all you need to do is watch all episodes of Run BTS three times, and that will be 18 months!

omg you're amazing lkaslkaslkas run bts is such a comforting show that I think it is a good choice for us to watch when we are missing them and even when we are not feeling down and sad. also watch their docu and some other old content. 🥹😭

[orchidyoonkook]

Aww, chapter 5 was a bit painful. I feel so bad for both of them. I think if I were OC, I would have had a bit more to say to JK about Adaline. I think I would have said something along the lines of he'll come to regret the decision of dating her. I probably would have also said that it might be the end of the road for her and JK's friendship. There is no way Adaline is going to let JK hang out with OC now that she has her claws in him. So JK will lose OC. I think maybe that would have gotten his attention if OC said that to him. So much angst. My heart hurts for both of them. I think the best thing that OC can do for herself is to distance herself from him. How can you watch someone you care about date someone who is a leach? I certainly couldn't.

I wonder what will happen once Nell arrives. Is their relationship going to still be good? If not, and they break up, I wonder how that will affect JK's decision now that the girl he wants is suddenly single. I'm really looking forward to Chapter 6.

Omg Erica *SOBBSSSS* look at your beautiful commentary. I'm gunna talk a lot so:

Aww, chapter 5 was a bit painful. I feel so bad for both of them.

Me too. Being put between a rock and a hard place sucks so much, but it happens :/

I think if I were OC, I would have had a bit more to say to JK about Adaline. I think I would have said something along the lines of he'll come to regret the decision of dating her. I probably would have also said that it might be the end of the road for her and JK's friendship.

This is seeming to be the common reaction from this chapter in regards to how OC reacts to the news. A lot of wonderful folks such as yourself would've said something instead of keeping quiet and honestly, I love that for you guys. I love that we're setting boundaries for ourselves in OC's place. Way to kick ass.

Unfortunately, OC and certain types of boundaries aren't great friends yet, and it's starting to show.

There is no way Adaline is going to let JK hang out with OC now that she has her claws in him. So JK will lose OC. I think maybe that would have gotten his attention if OC said that to him.

Will she even find out though? Wasn't OC's only rule that no one know? Wonder how JK will deal with that little road bump in his new relationship.

But I will agree that it definitely would get his attention if OC said that.

So much angst. My heart hurts for both of them. I think the best thing that OC can do for herself is to distance herself from him.

Literally so much, my heart hurts too. Writing it hurt. And I guess we'll have to see how OC copes with this change.

How can you watch someone you care about date someone who is a leach? I certainly couldn't.

I agree, but I also think that OC realises, while they are very close, they've still only known each other for a short while, and doesn't really think she can have a say in something like this without thinking she's crossing a line she hasn't earned yet.

I wonder what will happen once Nell arrives. Is their relationship going to still be good? If not, and they break up, I wonder how that will affect JK's decision now that the girl he wants is suddenly single.

Only chapter six will tell ;)

I'm really looking forward to Chapter 6.

THANK YOU. omg this made me squeal when I got it. Thank you for reading and always providing commentary. It makes this whole writing thing so much more fun. I hope chapter six lives up to your expectations!

I adore you.

[btsgotjams27]

50% of me feels bad for OC, and the other 50% of me wants to slap her upside the head. On one hand, I understand why she's so upset. He broke her trust plain and simple, and that's a huge no no for her. But trust can be rebuilt. And she didn't even give him a chance to rebuild it. She just cut her losses and ran for the hills! And now she's all mopey and hittin' the bottle. What the hell did she expect?? She didn't leave him because she fell out of love with him. She still has the same exact romantic feelings that she had for him before she found out what happened with Alex. And that is what makes me want to slap her upside the head. She did this to herself and now she's wallowing in self pity. She makes me feel very frustrated, among other emotions. But when characters make you feel many different emotions, it's the sign of a fully fleshed out character. So I certainly appreciate how well you've written her. At least this chapter has the happy baby event! It wasn't all doom and gloom. So the next chapter is 6 months in advance right? Are there going to be any chapters from JK's point of view in LA? I really want to know his thoughts and how he's doing from his perspective, not just what his friends and family are saying about him. They don't really know his inner thoughts. If not, maybe you could do it as a drabble after the story is over.

Erica, can I just say I always look forward to your comments? 😅

Also, I'm very happy I can make you frustrated with OC. 🤣 She's never been good with dealing with and confronting her emotions, not one bit! She thinks no one will understand the depth of who she is, or somehow that she'll be misinterpreted if she were to show her true self. She'd rather run, bury everything than have to rebuild that trust. All I can say is that her bestie will grow tired of her wallowing in self-pity and give her the wake-up call she needs 👀

And yes, baby Indie is here 🥹🥹 she'll be a fun addition to Yuna and Namjoon's story.

The next update will be six months later. We'll see how she's doing (probably not good 👀 she loves to self deprecate) YES!! I added a JK drabble to my list and we'll get see how he's doing (hint: he's better at picking himself back up).

Again, thank you for reading!! I really appreciate your thoughts. 💖

[dawnagustd]

I think we all needed Hours after JK felt the need to come out of the woodwork and ruin us for the last couple of days! Also, if that's you being rusty at smut, please feel free to stay rusty for a while, because it was smokin' hot! I mean, that was some smutty goodness!

Listen, I totally agree. I felt obligated to write that drabble lol. And aww, thank you! I've been hating my writing a lot lately which made me so unmotivated but I have to say that while I was writing I was like "okay girl, you might not be so bad" lol. I'm so glad you liked it. 🥹💞🥰

[hisunshiine]

Aww, I loved the final chapter! My heart kind of broke when JK came in to the ceremony with So Hee. I felt so bad for OC, but I knew there had to be more to the story. Her speech to him on the dance floor was heartbreaking too. She was willing to put aside her own feelings so he could be happy with So Hee, not realizing the full story. And I loved the scene in the bridal suite. It was sweet and romantic and hot all at the same time. So Hee turned into such a bitch at the end. I'm glad OC whacked her, even if she ended up with a broken hand. I think it might have been worth it! I'm so sad this story is over! I loved every minute of it. I hope you decide to do some drabbles in the future about them!

I am so happy that you enjoyed the ending! I wanted it to definitely still have that angst, but with some good surprises mixed in. hopefully it wasn't too confusing with the POV switches to explain what happened!! Thank you for reading, i truly appreciate you! have an amazing weekend!