#eric is always sleeping everywhere but a damn bed

[ericcarrsworshipper]

You and Eric Carr Fluff

After a long day off yesterday filled with a coffee date; talking for hours. You both had a lot to catch up on since Eric had been on tour which led to renting a movie and grabbing some fast food for an easy dinner. Things had been tough with the two of you, not in a negative sense; just how you and Eric had always been so close since you had first met and now with the heavy tour schedule, this had been the longest the two if you had been apart. You weren't dating but many assumed you were. Perhaps you were more than friends but for you two, anything you did seemed to be just platonic. Whether there were underlying feelings, none had been admitted yet.

You often held hands, cuddled and shared the same bed. None of which seemed odd to either of you, it seemed so natural. Paul had made some jokes at one point while you joined Eric on tour a while back but you paid no attention to the words. Space was tight and if it meant sharing a bed just to stay in Eric's company? So be it.

But for now, you were in your apartment, the tour had ended and Eric was lying on his front beside you, his hair everywhere and his face buried into the pillow. Your nails slowly scratched up and down his back, occasionally drawing shapes into his skin as your attention settled on the magazines, slowly flipping through the pages as you started to hear the birds and see the sun slowly rise. You were sat in a vest and shorts set, Eric asleep in his boxers though you knew he hated it. But as long as you were in bed he'd damn well wear some boxers. You found it funny how he'd complain and yet joke how he'd just get into bed naked and kick you out to sleep on the couch. You always threatened to release his naughty pictures to the press of he ever tried to kick you out of your own bed. He had tried it once as a joke and he ended up with a very red handprint on his ass.

The memory made you smile, a silent laugh accompanied it. You glanced over at Eric's sleeping frame, watching the gentle rise and fall, hearing his light snores and for a moment you prayed that things could stay this way forever. It was peaceful. It felt endless. He was the epitome of home.

Lost in thought you hand noticed how Eric had shifted, glancing over to you with sleep written over his features, smiling softly up at you. In that moment you both unknowingly shared the same feeling; a sense of warm happiness.

[beetboxx]

the leather jacket effect - billy hargrove x reader

pt 4 - masterlist

THIS PART CONTAINS SMUT, AND IS THEREFORE 18+, MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS PART OF THE SERIES!!!

other warnings; era misogyny, mean dom billy, sub reader, fingering, f oral, p in v, billy being horrible and then billy being less horrible, slight angst - let me know if i missed anything

REQUEST BOX OPEN! (also, come and talk to me!)

you had only been on a couple of dates before that fateful monday. your first one was freshman year, in '82, when joshua wallace from model un asked you out to a movie. joshua wallace was.. average. he wore khakis and polos or sweaters, wore glasses and his hair neatly combed and pushed back. he was always italy at MUN meetings, and always got a little too into it. you two saw the secret of nimh, a dumb little animated movie about a mouse. you had suggested the dark crystal, or the slumber party massacre, but joshua said his mom wouldn't be okay with 'scary' movies. you two sat side by side, the armrest separating you two, as he snacked on popcorn he bought for himself and refused to share.

and then there was eric. he played tennis. actually, he spent more time playing tennis than actually breathing or sleeping. he was sweet. brown eyes, wore button ups and jeans and pulled out chairs for you and opened doors. he asked you out to his own tennis game. you went, it was boring, long, and you didn't quite understand the appeal of a bunch of dudes in white throwing around a ball. you made out in his mom's car after that, and then he struggled for about five minutes to open and put on a condom. you were bored the entire time, even though your famous “first time” is supposed to be romantic, special, significant. with eric, it was a chore. the next week, he asked you if you wanted to go watch him during a tournament. you called him to tell him you were sick.

and then steven, from theatre. he made you smile until your cheeks hurt, complimented you and left notes in your locker. he asked you out using shakespeare and roses, and then took you to a drive-in screening of rocky horror picture show. he covered your head with newspaper when janet and brad are walking through the rain, brought rice and playing cards to throw at the screen. you had the time of your life, but you couldn’t stop giggling and looking over at him and he was so damn cuddly. you two stayed late after the movie ended, popcorn and rice all over the bed of his truck so he could lazily finger you under a blanket before having the most average sex of your life. you went on four more dates with steven after that, each one unique and silly and full of giggles and smiles.

but you found him having sex with a girl wearing a prairie dress with a cowboy hat backstage during their production of oklahoma!

so, easy to say you hadn’t had the best luck with dating, or a very dignified sex life. you thought you would’ve found a long term boyfriend by your senior year- someone mundane and kind and.. boring. everyone thought that you would find some wonder-bread to bring home to your parents and sit at a comfortable distance, so when word spread around that you were going on a “date,” with billy hargrove, it felt like your hair was on fire everywhere you went. girls whispered when you walked by them, suddenly guys were paying attention to you and complimenting your skirts- well, complimenting how the skirts made you look. you just ignored it, for the most part. kept walking after saying a quiet thank you. this was not on the itinerary for the year. but everyone was way too scared of billy to speak out about this anomaly. he had been there for about a week and already had the entirety of hawkins high trapped in his fist. except nancy, of course.

“okay- what the hell happened to not wanting anything to do with him?” nancy interrogated one afternoon at your little study group slash chat hour.

“hm?” you hummed, not lifting your head up from your homework.

“billy!”

“the new kid?”

“yes, the new kid- you know who i’m talking about,” she argued.

“yeah. what about him?”

nancy gave you a very cold, stern look. she had this specific face that just read “don’t fuck with me.” her eyebrows were slanted as she glared at you through them.

“okay- okay!” you surrendered, setting down your pencil. “it’s nothing, seriously. we’re just going to the football game.”

“you say that,” she reprimanded, pointing a pen in your face, “but then he gives you his jacket, and then he tries to get a b.j. in his shitty car he can’t drive, and th-“

“i got it!” you grumbled, frowning and looking down at your hands on the library table. nancy took a breath before scooting a little closer to you, her stern face falling into a more worried expression. she was scared for you, you could tell by the pursed lips and raised cheeks and the pure amount of worry in her eyes.

“i’m sorry. i just- (y/n), i’ve seen guys like him,” nancy explained, joining you in the search for a distraction in her own fingernails.

“i know, i know. its..” you trailed off and lifted your head up to look at her, which soon caught her attention and gave her the cue to re-engage in the conversation. “he’s the first guy to like.. notice me. in a while.”

nancy frowned, her shoulders dropping rigidly. she’s been in your shoes before.

“trust me, nance. i’ll be okay.”

she sighed, nodded reluctantly and threw up her hands as a surrender. the rest of your study session had a huge cloud of tension hanging over it that entire time- all the nerds and study-junkies could feel it, and it made the rest of that hour and a half absolutely miserable. but it gave you alot of time to think, as your eyes aimlessly wandered pages and your pencil scribbled in the corners. billy wasn’t going to be an exclusive deal. he couldn’t promise you love, or loyalty, and you had no idea how everyone else would hypothetically react. but if this goes somewhere, this little chess game of yours, would it end in a draw? perhaps his king, instead of trying to capture your queen in all of his patriarchal powers, would pull her into a hug, give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her it would be alright. and of course, there was always a chance you were imagining all of this and it was all a spooky wet dream, and billy hargrove never really existed!

the attention was good, at first, with all the gossiping and sudden interest from guys since now you were considered unavailable, even though nothing had happened to consider you that. boys were just like sheep. and you kind of felt terrible for the girls, feeling like they needed to compete for their attention. you understood it now. all of the times you had made fun of cathy and nancy for waking up early to do their hair and makeup made sense to you now- they were all forced to be in competition with each other, and once word spread about billy asking you out, you were their top competitor. without you wanting to be.

and of course, word got around to cathy. she approached you about it on that friday, way later than you thought she would find out about it. it was during your shared history class, when you were finishing up notes. she had tapped on your shoulder from behind you, and you could tell from the strength of the taps that she was very urgent.

“what’s up, caths?” you asked, twisting your abdomen to face her.

“you know what’s up,” she replied, dead-panned and staring at you with her beady little eyes. cathy didn’t have a malicious bone in her body, but you really felt like she was about to tell you that she wasn’t angry, just disappointed. you could not bare to live in a world with no people like her or nancy.

“… i’m sorry,” you mumbled, looking down in shame like a kid who got caught grabbing candy from the candy jar.

“what?”

“i said, i’m sorry.”

“wait- why are you sorry?”

you looked up, cocking your head to the side. you couldn’t tell if this was a rhetorical.

“because.. i’m going to the game with billy?”

cathy gasped, her hand immediately flying to your arm and shaking her head rapidly.

“i’m not upset, (y/n)!” she assured, her permed hair flying around as she shook her head. “i’m so totally excited for you!”

now it was your time to reply with a, “what?”

cathy beamed at you and giggled a little bit, her leopard printed shoulders bouncing carelessly. “you finally got yourself a little boy toy! and a very, very hot one, at that.”

“oh,” you said, confusedly. you didn’t exactly know what was happening right now. “you’re not.. mad?”

cathy made a weird pouting face and told you very sincerely, “of course not. i’m happy for you!”

you returned her smile in the form of a quick grin, before nodding in confirmation of her approval. you were glad you had the cathy-go-ahead, but there was still that aching feeling in your gut, pulling and twisting and screaming at you to abort the mission. screaming at you that this would change your senior year from the simple, academic, calm one you had grown to love. simplicity was good. unnerving, familiar. and billy hargrove was anything but simple.

"mrs. (l/n), do you have anything to share with the class?" mr. allen, your bald-headed, grumpy history teacher inquired sarcastically, pulling your attention out of your swimming thoughts. you spun around in your seat, completely silent as you shook your head. mr. allen was scary. looked like a bulldog and always wore very comically large shoulder-pads.

soon after mr. allen had interrupted you and cathy, you were given a solid minute before the bell rang to gather up your stuff that wasn't shoved in your locker into your backpack. he made everyone stay thirty seconds past the bell as usual just out of pure malice, and then you were dismissed for your next period.

you made your quick stop at your locker to shove a few more things that you humanly could in there. you could have sworn that locker had some sort of pocket dimension in it capable of holding all of your books and textbooks and notebooks. but it was lovely. familiar. you went there every day between your history class and english, and it was one of the moments in your day where the rustling and chatting and occasional shouts from the hallways around you were welcoming, because it happened every single day.

as you were walking down the hallway to your next class while holding your copy of , something very out of your schedule occurred, however. something that had never happened before. you got.. catcalled? you weren't really sure what to call it, but as you passed a group of basketball players, wearing their lettermans and sneakers and all various shades of blue jeans, one of them whistled at you.

you were very sure it was at you, too, because another one next to the whistler had the audacity to shout, "yo, (y/n)! lookin' fine today!" before the others erupted in chuckles and various sounds of dog-like expressions of attraction.

you didn't know how to react, so you just mumbled, ".. thank you," your cheeks flushing and a shy but very confused smile pulling at your lips.

one of the players, the one you guessed had started this, let out another form of onomatopoeia in a loud 'ooooh!' and slapping the chest of the guy next to him. it was all very strange. they acted like dogs. no, they acted like dogs and expected girls to swoon over them. they acted like dogs, and treated girls like they were the dogs. the entire moment just made you sick in your stomach. it felt wrong. to be objectified like that, like a piece of meat. they were only interested in you because you had been 'claimed,' and you were totally not a fan of it.

and then you realized that your next class was in fact english, and you dreaded your hallway walk even more. maybe you would get lucky, billy wouldn't show up and you wouldn't have to deal with him for another day. maybe billy was merciful enough to spare you from his demeaning flirts until you went on your little outing together to a shitty football game.

you soon realized that no, billy hargrove was not that merciful. he was there when you walked in mrs. campbells decorated door, lounging in his chosen seat with his toned legs sprawled out underneath him, stretching far enough to reach underneath the chair of the person in front of him. he had some smug expression on his face, as usual, like he was about to pull a pair of sunglasses from the abyss and tell you he had you all figured out. and most importantly and shocking- he was early. to a class.

he didn't seem to notice you, or was choosing to act like he didn't notice you, until tina, from behind your seat, drew the class' attention to you with a gleeful 'hey, (y/n)!'

his eyes dragged over to you, standing in the classroom doorway with your book and a composition notebook tucked in your arms. he flicked his chin up as a part of a greeting.

"speak of the pretty devil. we were just talking about you,” billy asserted, every single pair of eyes in the classroom falling on you. this attention you did not like. you could read every single emotion from the room full of opinionated teenagers. it made you feel like spotlights were blazing down on you, turning your face red and your skin hot and a little tingly. you gave a little, nervous hum as a response to his proclamation. the heat of the attention made your knees a little wobbly, your hands unsteady as you walked past billy to your seat. you sat down, slowly as you approached the shark, which prompted billy's body to follow your direction and give you a smile that rotted your teeth.

"you excited for the game tonight, babe?" he asked you while chewing his gum with his molars, that one ending word of endearment making everyone in the classroom have their own micro-reaction. excitement for their bro-dude, jealousy because that should be them getting that title, jealousy because that should be them giving that title, disgust that this was such a big deal, and more. but yours was just shock. your eyes went wide, lips parting in a barely noticeable gasp.

"um- please don't call me that," you whispered, hoping that it was just him that heard it, but unfortunately, the gaggle of jocks emitted chuckles and scoffs at your response.

you saw billy's face fall, with his nostrils flaring like a bull and teeth gritting together. he shot a glare as sharp as a dagger at the boys around him, to which they responded accordingly by falling silent. at first, you thought they were laughing at you for 'being such a prude,' but you soon realized that they were laughing at billy- you had embarrassed him.

his smile then returned with a chuckle as his jaw loosened from its tension, beginning to chew his gum like hew as doing before.

"why not? you're a fuckin' babe," he chided, intending to sound like he didn't care, but the bite he applied was obvious that he was a little wounded by your push-back.

"it's.. it's a little degrading, is all. you could have.. used my name."

he laughed at you. it stung.

"ah, so you're bein' a bitch today, huh?"

"n-no, i just don't want to be treated like.. that," you muttered, your agitation beginning to grow. the people around you basically pulled out a bucket of metaphorical popcorn as they watched the ping-pong match between you two. to billy, it was some sort of sadistic strip ping-pong.

billy was so close to responding, until he was interrupted by mrs. campbell's less-than-cheerful announcement that class had begun and to quiet down. he turned around in his seat, and you could feel the steam blowing from his ears and into your vicinity.

english class was painful. billy didn't say a word. not to you, not to the teacher, not to the people around him. he opened his copy of animal farm, but you could tell he didn't read a single word. you only got a chapter or so yourself. everything felt.. wrong. the words on the pages felt like you were reading an ancient symbolic language, which was the same feeling you got when you tried to read billy. he didn't make any sudden movements until the end of class, when the bell rung and everyone was dismissed.

you always took a while to get your stuff, and billy knew that already, so he lingered, sitting in the same exact spot you last saw him in, with his fists clenched on his desk and his shoulders tense. once you stood up, he followed, turning around on his heel and blocking your exit escape. you two were the only people in the class at that point. he didn't say anything, just took a step towards you and grabbed your chin with two unexpectedly soft fingers. he brought your chin to look at him, a movement that gave you a scary deja vu that made your stomach turn over.

he took a long moment to stare into your eyes with a dangerous, flat look. you could feel his minty breath, and you could see the brewing darkness in his eyes.

"you better learn to watch it," he said. it was simple, a command. a threat. you didn't know what he would do if you didn't, and you didn’t exactly know what you were supposed to be watching (you guessed it was the whole embarrassing him thing). but you didn't exactly want to find out- though, seriously, what the fuck could billy do that would be so horrible if you continued to ‘talk back to him’, even with your innocent intentions that you had before.

he didn't give you the chance to respond, though, letting go of your chin with a slight push, once again slowly turning around, grabbing his bag, and exiting the classroom.

that was all you thought about for the rest of the day. nothing else. just billy. and his fingers. and the dangerous look he gave you. and it was like a horror movie- you knew you were going to be scared and your nerves and adrenaline would be on fire under your skin, but you were so intrigued, and.. excited.

--------------------------

6:24, a whole 36 minutes until the terrible football game was about to start. no one went to the hawkins high football games for fun. the team was terrible, boring, and the marching band completely half-assed it, knowing it wouldn't have been a memorable moment anyways. basketball games were the true games to go to for the game itself- and the guys in shorts and tank tops. people went to hawkins high football games to either support someone, get drunk and/or high, snog in or under the bleachers, and just hangout with their friends in a reckless abandon.

you didn't know why you were going, to be honest.

you heard a loud, angry honk from outside your house, prompting you to mutter a string of curses as the anticipation grew in your veins. you couldn't tell if your hair was standing up on your head like you were upside down. you hurriedly put on your mascara, a finishing touch to a very intermediate look. it was definitely out of your comfort zone, but.. you wanted to impress someone. show them- him, you weren't what he thought. throw him off his game, show him who's boss in this situation.

you did your makeup with your best impersonation of molly ringwald, glossy red lipgloss and rouge on your cheekbones. but you kept your outfit strictly you. you didn't need to change your clothing style for a guy. it was your last thread of comfort that you were strong to hold onto. loose jeans and a button-up, that was it.

a loud knock- no, a bang on your front door sounded through the house. you basically sprinted to it, twisting the doorknob open and throwing the door open so hard it banged against the wall behind it, hopefully not leaving a scratch, but you were too caught up in the moment to check. there was billy, leaning against your doorframe, a cigarette hanging from the corners of his lips. he wore a tight polo shirt, definitely purposefully defining all of his muscles and figure. you noted a little silver necklace with a pendant you couldn't fully make out. his hair was.. well, perfect. it definitely had to be a perm. you wondered what would happen if you threw a bucket of water over his head. his blue eyes were piercing in the dim light, first shooting through your chest where a little sliver of skin showed, making you immediately go and cover it up. they skated up to your face, lingering on the glossy red lips you applied. for you, of course. it wasn't for anyone else.

"uh-.. hey," you greeted, trying to sound as calm as possible. you were anything but calm.

"you get all dolled up for me?"

damn it. he saw right through you.

you just shook your head. you saw the slight hint of a grin. you had to fight with your hand to not reach up and slap it off of him, but it was too planted to your sides to resist your resistance.

he clicked his tongue and looked to his car, before pushing himself up off your doorframe. he turned, and began walking to his car in quick strides. you followed like some sort of lost puppy. he walked right past the passenger side car door, going straight to his own and opening it for yourself, proving to you that you weren't even worth the few seconds it would take to open your car door for you. maybe it was to you, maybe it was to him. regardless, you opened it yourself, climbing into the car soaked in cigarette smoke, ash, and rebellion. billy didn't even wait for you to put on your seatbelt, which you knew you had to when driving with billy, to start up his car with a growl and slam on the gas.

it was about three minutes of tense silence, the small carriage being taken up by soft rock music from the radio and the sound of the camaro's exhaustion, before one of you broke. it was you.

"hey um- i'm.. i'm sorry for embarrassing you, or whatever. in mrs. campbells.”

he just scoffed.

“i really don’t like the way you spoke to me, though. like- i’m not mad, or whatever.. i only want you to treat me like-“

“it’s fine,” he bit.

you could hear cold as ice by foreigner playing on the radio. it seemed fitting, but you couldn’t tell why. maybe it was the icy tone in his voice.

you needed to change the situation, quick, or else you would be calling for cathy’s saving before the game even started. so you decided to.. turn it into a joke.

“but uh- did you see tim’s face when you gave him that glare?” you lightly laughed. “looked like he was going to shit himself or something.”

that pushed a tiny, breathy chuckle from billy. it was lighter than the chuckle he gave when he was mocking you earlier.

you let that light simmer for a while, resorting to staring down at your palms in your lap, trying to read the lines in them and see if the stars held any resolution that night. you didn’t see anything. and then there was a little shimmer from venus.

“yeahh.. guy’s a tool.." he grumbled, but you could feel the jokiness in his tone that threatened to rise to surface.

you offered him the same chuckle he put on the table. you chewed on the inside of your cheek as your eyes followed the lines on your palm, trying to find the courage within to say something more. you turned to look at him, your view landing on his hands on the steering wheel. you couldn't look him in the face, even if he was staring at the road.

“hey, billy?”

he hummed.

“why did you ask me to this game?” you questioned, quiet and very, very sincere. it wasn’t challenging, sarcastic, it was a genuine question.

“i dunno,” he replied. it wasn't cocky or smug, just clueless. he really didn't know why. he didn't regret it by any means, but it was something that just happened and he didn't realize that it did.

"is it a.. date?"

he iterated the same response, "i dunno."

"why are you so.. mean to me? mean to.. women."

billy blinked rapidly, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

"why are you asking so many questions?" he challenged, crueler than he intended it to be. not that it mattered, anyways. "a little chatterbox tonight, huh?"

you nodded, shrugging. his mocking question was intended to make you shut up, but instead, it just made you continue to talk more. it made his forehead crease. "yep. i've never done this before, to be honest. usually when i get asked out on a date it's... asking, not demanding."

billy frowned, a now angry frown that he was being chastised.

"well, then i'll tell you," he began, stopping you before you could say anything else. "you sit next to me, look pretty and be fuckin' quiet. or you can go talk to tommy's girlfriend about.. shopping or whatever the fuck you girls talk about."

now it was your turn to scrunch up your eyebrows.

"and maybe, if you're lucky, i'll pull into an empty parking lot after the game."

your head cocked to the side as you glared at him, which to him, looked more like a pout until you narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. "an empty parking lot, really? why?"

billy scoffed at you again, rolling his eyes until they landed on you, pulling your attention from his steering wheel you had been staring at as he disregarded traffic laws and degraded you.

"oh, that's adorable," he mocked. "you really don't know?"

"okay, if you're gonna be a total lame-ass, i'll just go spend the game with my friend.” you tightened your arms over your chest like you were holding a shield to yourself to protect from billy’s overall unpleasantness.

“i wouldn’t be if you weren’t gonna be such a bimbo," billy rasped, his voice gaining in volume.

"didn’t you fail a grammar quiz, wise guy?” you snapped back. you felt your ears getting hot, your nails bluntly digging into your arms as the anger, and confidence, brewed. “i mean, seriously, do you have anything going on up there behind that mullet besides like.. wondering when you’re going to get your rocks off next?”

your tone became a lot harsher than it was before. your emotions had flipped like a coin, a quick switch with your increasing agitation and anger. you would rather eat cement than admit that billy was affecting and offending you. but maybe it's not so bad, i mean, wet cement looks edible-

"who do you think you are, billy?" you continued, a lot quieter than your last accusation. it was quieter, but it stung like a hammer to billy's head. you scooted further away from him in your seat, closer to the door just in case you needed to tuck-and-roll out of the camaro. you saw him seething, his knuckles turn white as the rest of him turned an angry red. his breathing was heavy and gravelly in his chest, rumbling like a volcano before eruption. "you can't- you can't treat women like they're pieces of meat."

billy gritted his teeth together.

"but that's all you are." he spat loudly, not even giving the effort to look at you as he pulled over in the road and stopped the car.

"no!" you argued, shaking your head, "i'm not! how do you know that you're not the.. piece of meat, huh?"

he laughed. a haunting laugh that you had been hearing in your head the whole week.

then he went silent. his face fell, his hands fell of the steering wheel and onto his thighs. he sat back in his seat, staring out the dashboard window into the darkness that had consumed the october night.

"you're killin' me, (y/n)."

you let your shoulders drop.

"what?"

"i don't want to go to the game," billy declared, his voice much quieter than it was in his seemingly controlled fit of anger.

"what, you wanna yell at me more?"

"no. i don't know-" his voice suddenly rose to a shout, his head snapping to face you. the movement made you jump, swallow a thick cloud in your throat. "- what i want, okay? so if you could just shut the fuck up-" he slammed his palm down on the steering wheel, causing it to emit a loud, dull sound throughout the car that seemed to shake your body. you stole a shaky breath from the heavy air.

"let's just.. let's just talk," you apprehensively suggested, mousey and wide-eyed. billy ran his fingers through his curly hair. he shut his eyes, tightly.

"what the fuck is there to talk about?" he snarled. you fiddled with your fingers in your lap, suddenly losing that streak of bravery when confronting billy.

"your life? my life? i-.. if-.. let's get to know each other."

"god, that's lame. you're fuckin' lame."

you felt frozen in the leather seat, like he had spread out a thick glue and stole the sweat from your body. your chest was heavy, fingers seemingly stuck in a rigor mortis clench. but your jaw opened itself, like a venus fly trap luring an unsuspecting fly with a bitter sugar.

".. what's the necklace?"

billy stopped. his face turned white, a cold white. he flew away from you.

"it's none of your business," he snapped harshly.

your eyes darted from him, to the steering wheel, to your lap, anywhere in the car. they took their final resting place upon him, finding the sliver of skin where the pendant rested.

"i wanna get to know you," you whispered, shrugging your shoulders.

billy didn't further the conversation. just rapidly threw his hand onto the transmission and shoved it into drive, pressing down his foot firmly on the gas so quick you were kind of thrown around in your seat. you had to grab onto the console and the door handle to be able to settle yourself back into the leather before speaking again.

"billy- where the fuck are we going?" you urgently, but nervously, demanded.

you were met with nothing but silence and the engine of his car growling at you.

----------

there wasn't a word spoken in that goddamn camaro until the car let out its hum of sleep and fell into stillness. you were snapped out of some sort of trance billy had put you under, a trance of confusion and a sprinkle of fear.

billy threw his door open immediately after tugging the keys out. you followed him on your side, more frantic than his somehow cool composure. you knew he was anything but cool, probably pretty near boiling level by now. he was such an anomaly. he didn't make any sense to you. when you got out of the car, you saw him leaned against the hood of his camaro, big hands shoved in his front jean pockets. you stood by the car on your side, making sure to not make any sudden movements. you were way too scared to even touch his car, like it would catch on fire and dissolve billy into an ashy mess.

the air was cool, a breeze blew past you and swirled around billy, ruffling up his hair gently. you could smell the water, musty and earthy as it swished around and waved hello to you two. you could see stars and billy's car's lights reflect onto the water, anything but calm as the reflections distorted and twisted and stretched on the surface. you could hear the trees rustling as they danced with the breeze. it was calm. a lot more calm then billy's tension

"california," he finally spoke up, staring down at the ground as he crossed an ankle over the other.

"what?"

"california. i lived in california before i moved to this shit-hole."

you took a step closer to him, lighting a fuse that made his head turn to you. you saw a different emotion in his eyes, something you had never seen from him before. twinkling in the dark, a small spark distant from his irises.

all you could utter was, "oh."

"my dad- neil. he thought it would be good for his stupid fuckin' new chick and her kid. i thought that-" he swallowed, rough and hard and tobacco-tainted, "- that i could make this place mine."

"i hate it, (y/n). i hate it here."

you took another step towards him, the wind pushing you to him and coaxing you to investigate more. you couldn't speak. it was like you were watching a film play out and this was the final scene before the main character got his happy ending. but you knew that you weren't in that scene.

"you- have been driving me crazy," he conceded, his gaze returning to the abyss in front of him. "you.. and max, have been the things that i just.. can't win."

you chewed on your bottom lip, crossing your arms to hold your warmth and dignity to yourself.

"have you ever thought that.. maybe you haven't been trying?" you suggested. you took the final steps necessary to reach to the spot next to him, where you gently rested yourself upon the hood of his car.

"you're too fuckin' perfect. it makes me so mad," billy chortled darkly, a self-pitying laugh that made the night seem darker. "and you know what's the worst part? you're fucking boring."

your eyes glanced from side to side, searching for any words. all you could come up with was, "ouch."

you turned your head to look at him. his spine was curved where he was crossing his arms over his broad chest, his outline visible with the dim reflection of his headlights. his hair was a mess, out of place and frizzy from the moisture of the lake and the frustrated hair pulls.

"i dunno what to do," he said quietly, a small admission of hidden defeat.

"have you.." you cleared your throat to swallow down some of the fear bubbling in your stomach, ".. ever thought of.. not being such a dick to everyone?"

"cut the sass, alright?"

"i'm not being sassy," you dully argued, shifting your weight around in an attempt to make the situation a little more comfortable. you failed at that. "if you weren't so.. mean.. i would've happily gone out with you. you're pretty."

you saw billy's nostrils flare up. he stared off into space before his eyes clicked to look at yours, his head slowly following suit.

"pretty? really?" he threw back in a tone that more questioned if you were fucking with him, trying to emasculate him or something. but you weren't- he was just really pretty.

"mhm.. pretty," you mumbled. that was about as far as you were going to get with him. he still had a brick wall built up, made of hair-gel and muscle covered in thorns that pricked anyone who came too close.

in a swift movement, billy pushed himself off of his car, leaving you stranded in the darkness. he was about to march to the driver's seat and probably throw some sort of fit, but you straightened your knees and took a step forward in the chips of rocks.

"i'm serious, billy," you called out.

he had his hand on the door's lever, but stopped without pulling it towards him to open the car. his tongue poked in his cheek, sliding over to poke out to cover his bottom lip, shaking his head. "you are the devil, (y/n)."

"no," you said, taking another step towards him, swallowing down your dignity. this had to be some sort of trap he had laid out for you. "i just.. think there's more to you than all those.. abs and stuff."

"why are you being nice to me?" he asked, more irritated than anything.

you sucked in a breath and swallowed it down, in the process swallowing down your dignity. the breeze of the night must have possessed you, because before you knew it, you were closing the inches between you two and laying your hands on the collar of his opened polo. you grazed your eyes on the v of exposed skin before letting them walk, rather run, to his face. he was pretty. so pretty that you couldn't help but tug on the fabric, slowly, until the tip of your noses met. he just stared into you, blue eyes intoxicating you until you were out of your mind enough to close the gap and press your lips upon his.

you were kissing him. you were kissing billy hargrove and your head was completely empty. no synapse firings or rational thoughts were occurring to send a signal to your legs to run away and escape. maybe you were just falling into his trap, maybe it was pity or defeat, but when his hands came up to grip your waist tightly, you were spent. gone in the thin ring of ocean blue on his face. it was familiar, the hold he had on you and how he told you he would have you in a jiffy. it pained you to admit he was right. you just couldn’t help it, especially not when he moved to press you against the side of his camaro so he could deepen your kiss, lips battling with each other in a dissonant harmony that was somehow satisfying. but not satisfying enough to get you to stop.

“i-i wasn’t lying,” you stammered with a pant, as steady as you could be with billy expertly pecking at your bottom lip, trying to reignite another heavy kiss. “you really are pretty and-.. and-“

billy pulled himself off your lips, leaving not even an inch between your two heated faces. you could feel and smell his breath, the gum that he chewed and the words he spat to hide his emotions.

“and what?”

you stared up at him, smoothing your hand from his cheek and over his chest, fiddling with the fabric.

“h-hot? i don’t.. know..” you whispered, your eyes finding the silver pendant against his chest and locking onto it so you didn’t have to look at him. but you could feel billy’s signature smug grin grow on his face. you were immediately regretting the decision you didn’t make willingly, but you didn’t back out.

“you gonna get all shy on me?” he murmured, leaning down to force your chin back up with his nose. “c'mon, where did all of that high and mighty shit go?”

he began mouthing over your jaw, making sure to nip where your jaw met your ear. he noted the hitch in your breath by repeating his actions, this time pulling a tiny little squeaky hum from the back of your throat that didn't leave your lips.

"you were planning this, weren't you?" you gasped, leaning your head back without thinking just to let him wrap his tail around and around you until he suffocated you. he took it as an invitation to kiss and bite across the delicate skin of your neck, which he happily accepted.

"ohh, don't blame this on me, naughty girl," he muttered between bites. "but you're just too innocent and perfect for that, huh?"

you hummed a little, "mm-mmh," and shook your head. you didn't see yourself as innocent, per se, but billy wanted to grab the halo above your head that only he saw and rip it into pieces. you had a little tiny urge to prove him differently, lifting up your leg so it bent at the knee and rested on his hip. he caught it for you and gripped the skin under your thigh, letting it mold in his fingers. it brought you closer to him, particularly the pelvic region, which you realized when you felt a hard, thick bulge trapped under his jeans rubbing up against you. you gasped at it, hands jumping up to the back of his head, filled with long, blonde curly hair to lightly tug on it. he heard it, he felt it, and so he pressed up against you, lifted his hips up slightly so he could plant them back down between your legs, gritting his hard bulge between your jeans.

"jesus," he grumbled, sinking his teeth into a spot just above the crease where your collarbones met with your neck. he lingered there, placing his tongue on the target and began to lightly suck.

"mmh- billy, no marks-" you protested, shifting your hands to his chest to lightly shove him away. he didn't budge, simply slid one of his hands opposite to the side of your neck he was attacking, pressing it against you to press you further into his mercy.

he growled, a rumble bubbling in the base of his throat with a, "too bad."

you stopped pushing after a couple of seconds, the exact second a whine trailed from your lips and prompted a chuckle from billy when he sucked down, hard. it stung, a tiny bit, but god did it feel good for your skin to be violated like that. rough and unforgiving, teeth scraping on your jugular until he had decided there was a sufficient enough bruise to make you wear a turtleneck for the next week. you didn't notice how much you enjoyed it before you found yourself grinding against his pelvis, a friction that formed sparks and sent them flying up your nervous system.

"you've been thinking about this, haven't you?" billy whispered, removing his teeth from your skin and kissing up the underside of your chin, up the side of your jaw, kissing the corners of your lips as a finishing touch. "that pretty little head filled with nasty things, all the nasty stuff i would do to ya."

he hit every mark. you had been thinking about this since that damn party, rutting against his thigh lodged between your thighs like a dog. you didn't have to think about that, though, with the real thing pressed up against you and grinding at your clothed clit. you whimpered, pathetically and weakly. your eyes were pulled up to meet his, blue eyes corrupted by black pupils that tied you down in them until you broke.

"you want me, don't you, (y/n)?"

you nodded.

"say it," billy demanded.

you then shook your head. he twisted his wrist around so it fit the front of your throat, lightly grasping at it in his big palm. you felt his fingers dig in your waist, so hard you could feel his short nails pressing against your sweater.

"(y/n)," he murmured, sing-songy and mocking, "say it. i can leave you right here, shaking and fuckin' wet."

you whined again, trying to turn your head away from him, but he was quick to catch your chin, holding you in place so he could stare you down. he had this primal look in his eyes, all of the anger and curiosity and desire spilling from his eyes into you. his face was tight, relentless, pretty blue eyes corrupted with libido.

"i can easily drive you home, you know. let you say goodnight to mommy and daddy knowin' big bad billy got you all worked up."

you shook your head again, as much as you could with his hold on you. you could feel the small droplets of spit flying from his teeth and hitting your face, making you wince with each syllable. he was squeezing your chin now, enough to leave a dull pain.

"come on, tell me. say it. say it and i'll give you what you want," he mumbled, voice low but rising to a harsh whisper. "wanna hear you. wanna hear you admit that i won."

you did. you lost this. miserably. there was going to be no winning this game of chess you had going on, he already had your queen in his line of sight and was reaching out to steal it.

"i want you," you spat out. "i want you, billy."

a sickly sweet, sticky smile grew on billy’s face as he released his harsh grip on your chin.

“atta girl, there ya go. that wasn’t hard, was it?” he teased, pecking your lips lightly as a small reward. his hands met at your waist again, before making the short trail to the hem of your jeans. your eyes then snapped wide open, flying down to grab at his wrists and pull them away. he didn’t fight it, he wasn’t that terrible.

“i dont- i don’t wanna do..” your voice quieted to a secretive whisper, “.. it out here.”

billy was quick to reply with a solution. “my place. let me take you home.”

you paused, hesitant and fighting with yourself to resist him more. but you couldn’t. he was inching towards your queen piece that you had placed in front of him, laid out for him to grab his victory. you could just nod, too much in shock to say anything. your eyes were wide, bright in the dark night and illuminated billy’s sight.

“okay,” you quietly conceded. “alright. take me home.”

he lingered with you for just a second until he was turning around, finally opening his car door and climbing in the seat, leaving you completely isolated and feeling way too empty to be standing out in the dark without him. so you ran to the other side of the car, scrambling to get in the seat across from him. he didn’t even wait for you to sit fully before he was pulling the car in reverse and speeding out of the spot it was in. you two didn’t talk the entire road. you just had your eyes set on him as he disregarded most traffic laws. atleast he was watching the road. so much you don’t think he blinked once. it was intense and heavy and thick in that car. your lungs couldn’t catch enough oxygen and you felt a little fuzzy in the head, like you were walking in some sort of twisted dream.

when he pulled into his own driveway and shut off his car, he sat there for a second, breathing heavily and staring into the garage door. then he suddenly turned to you, grabbed your face and tugged you to him, mashing his lips against yours in an almost violent kiss. it was messy and very sloppy, your lip gloss smearing around your own lips as well as basically his entire face. you felt his tongue press against your bottom lip, filling your taste buds with the taste of him. your own hands found the bottom of his shirt, gripping the fabric in your fists to ground yourself to reality, or else you think you would’ve just floated away.

“lets- jeez,” you struggled to say, just barely pulling away from him. “let’s go inside.”

he tore himself away from your lips. your hair was a mess, cheeks rosy and lips bruised and swollen from his own. your eyes had this shimmer of want that drove billy fucking crazy, like he wanted to split you open. and to be frank, he was planning on it. a week of frustration towards you had been building and building and was spilling out in the form of sexual tension. billy nodded, for once not having anything to say as he climbed out of his car and waited for you to do the same. you mirrored him, stepping out of the vehicle and throwing the door shut. you inched your way towards the front of his car, where billy grabbed your wrist and began tugging you inside.

you barely had any time to comprehend his little house filled with the lingering smell of anger as he dragged you to his room. you just knew it was warm. but hot. and cold. all at the same time- something just wasn’t right about that damned house. it was completely put together- neat and tidy, but was so broken and torn apart. you were tripping over your feet, tripping over your mind as billy’s hand splayed over your wrist in his palm and he dragged you across the house. when you got in his room, it was exactly the way you expected. posters of random, half-naked women across the walls, a radio, blue sheets that were scrunching up to the side and left a silhouette of his body. it smelled exactly like him. cheap cologne, peppermint and smoke. you smelt it even more when he grabbed your hips and pressed his lips against your already bruising neck. he groaned softly into your neck, taking a big huff of your scent as he lifted up his foot to shut the door behind him. you were trapped now.

“nice room,” you snarked as sarcastically as you could be, breathlessly as you tangled a hand in his hair. you were still trying to hang onto that thread of control you had.

“watch the attitude." he grumbled roughly, pulling off of you to glare down at you. he cupped your chin in his hand, a glass teacup in his rough palm as he maneuvered you to be pinned to his door. “you gonna keep mouthing off to me?”

you hummed a no. in an instant, billy snapped that little thread you had in two.

what was the use in fighting it anymore? you wanted him. bad. the core between your thighs was aching, and your stomach felt tight. you were sweating, and you couldn't tell how much of it was from you, and how much of it was from billy's hot body pressed against you. he seemingly rewarded this endeavor of surrender, lifting up his leg to slot between your thighs with a strength that probably would've sent you flying into the ceiling if he wasn't gripping everywhere he could. you let out a whine, the double layer of jeans still didn't do much to stop the friction against your aching clit. he had returned to your neck by then, nipping and sucking, painting your neck with little red marks around a bruising spot from earlier. you rut against his thigh as much as you could, letting your jaw hang open and head loll back until it hit the door.

"billy-" you panted. to him, it sounded like you wanted to stop, so he reluctantly pulled back. you were gazing up at him, and you had these big, wide, innocent eyes and it made billy want to squeeze you until you popped.

"kiss me," you pleaded, grabbing at his shirt, "please?"

it made him grin. he had a pretty smile. the corners of his lips unsubtly curled upwards, pushing his cheeks up and creating a line that rainbowed over his way too perfect lips. he wasn't showing you his teeth, maybe he was scared that it would chase you off, but you didn't have enough time to question that fact before he was obliging to your request. he attacked your lips fervently, sliding his hand to grab your cheek, the pad of his thumb digging into the front end of your cheekbone. your hands were fisted in the bottom of his shirt, the bunching of which revealed the bottom of the toned golden skin of his abdomen. you let your hand snake from his abdomen to his oblique, just below his hip.

you felt the muscles tense up, his thigh lodge itself further in between the crevice of your legs. the kiss was anything but gentle. spit was swapped to the point of a thin stream of saliva dribbled down your chin. his teeth caught your bottom lip between them at one point, making a show of pulling it back until your lip retreated with a hard sting.

"you look.. so fuckin' sexy right now," he whispered. he kissed the corners of your lips before he took a step back, leaving you alone and leaning against the door, shaking and ready to electrocute anything from the amount of static swimming through your veins. he walked backwards until his knees hit his bed, plaid blue bedsheets stopping the back of his knees until he was sat down on top of them. his thighs spread, hands hanging over them as he stared at a very confused you in front of him.

you tried to take a step forward, but billy stopped you with a palm out and a ‘ah ah ah.’ your head tilted to the side, like a puppy that doesn’t understand a trick just yet.

“take ‘em off,” billy demanded, his eyebrows raising. “the jeans and that dumb little sweater.”

“i don’t-“

“take it off or i’ll do it for you. you can take off your own clothes like a big girl, right?” he mockingly asked, mirroring your head tilt.

you sucked in a hard breath, but your lungs couldn’t seem to be filled with enough air. you had to save it, as your shaky hands pushed yourself from the door to a standing position and then shadowed over your jean’s button. you kicked off your shoes and socked with your toes, kicking them to the side carelessly. you sucked your bottom lip, already bitten, between your teeth as you unbuttoned your jeans and shoved them down your hips. you shimmied your way out of them, embarrassingly losing your balance as you stepped out of them and tumbling around before you gained it again. but billy didn’t laugh at you like you expected him to, he just stared like he was watching a pretty bird through a piece of glass. shaky hands clutched the bottom of your sweater, tugging it off cautiously, as if a wrong move would set off some alarm. eventually you threw it to the side, leaving your arms free to cross over your chest. you saw his breath pick up, his chest heaving under the thin fabric of his polo. you stayed like this for a while, you shifting your weight awkwardly and billy staring at you, practically salivating.

“are you just gonna stare at me?” you grilled, pouting out your lips as you glared at him. your little pout dissipated, however, when billy shot you a warning scowl. it was a mean look, and it made you feel like you were getting smacked on the wrist for something.

“.. sorry.”

“you are such a brat, you know that?” billy griped, reaching out as far as he could to hook a hand on the underside of your knee, and another on your waist. he tugged you to him in a swift movement, settling you down to straddle his lap. you squealed at the abrupt force, grabbing onto his shoulders to find a balance. “you’d be so much hotter if you would just shut up.”

his palm inched away from your knee and to your backside, hovering over the exposed skin. “but you just needed some attention, huh? needed someone to take care of you.”

his words were heavy, deep and dark and made you feel so weak, so minuscule compared to him. you tried to tense your thighs together, but billy’s own legs stopped you from doing so, leaving you spread and open on top of him. he certainly l abused this power. the hand on your backside smoothed over your skin, trailing across your hips, finding itself between your legs. the fabric of your underwear were soaked, basically sticking to his fingers as he rubbed over it. he laughed darkly at the sensation, hearing you gasp out and grip his shoulders tightly.

“fuck, who could have possibly got you this hot and bothered?” he mused, meeting your widened eyes. you didn’t reply, you couldn’t. your words got stuck in your throat and came out as a prolonged mewl. you sank yourself down onto his fingers, and he gladly welcomed you, lodging the pads of his fingers between the valley created in your underwear. his demeanor was switching every five seconds, from charming and a condescending sweet, to just downright mean and degrading. he couldn’t decide if he wanted to make you pay, or take pity and give you everything you wanted from him.

“y-you did, billy,” you crooned, a needy tune that barely rose above a whisper. “never been with someone like you. i like it.”

billy gave you another grin, just the slightest hint of white teeth peeking through to reward you for the praise. he bit down on his tongue slightly before it poked out to wet his bottom lip, licking the remains of your lipgloss from it.

“you’re gonna be nice and use your manners for me, right?” he tested, bending his fingers slightly and angling them to find your clit between your two bodies. he knew he found it when you let out this little cute squeal that sent vibrations straight to his cock, straining against his already overly tight jeans.

“uh-huh, yes- sure,” you gasped, rising your body up to allow him more access. his fingertips dug into your bare waist, the slightest hint of nails visiting your skin. billy just watched you, watched how your face squeezed together when he hit a right spot, how your hips circled his fingers greedily.

“c-can this come off?” you requested, tugging at the hem of his polo. “please?”

there was no way billy was going to refuse you. he acted annoyed, pressing his lips out and rolling his eyes a bit, but he really, really liked it. his hand pulled itself away from you, making you plant yourself against the crotch of his jeans to compensate. he tugged off his shirt in one swift movement, throwing it behind you on the ground by some other dirty laundry he hadn’t picked up yet.

he was basically sculpted by the gods. something out of a porno or some shit. that time you watched rocky horror picture show, the entire movie you found yourself staring at rocky himself in his toned but brainless glory, how the sweat stuck to his skin and made the golden tan glow and accentuated every little crevice and muscle. you never thought you would see something like it in real life, but here billy hargrove was, with you perched on his lap whining, looking like some sort of sex god or whatever. his dirty blonde hair hung out over the large triangular muscle of his trapezius, curled and frizzy from the sweat and moisture. and god, his chest. you could see everything as his chest heaved, pecs the perfect size for your hand to hold onto for support. this was not pretty. this was some sort of sorcery.

you were staring at him for a long time, letting your eyes rake over every inch of skin he had. you found the little happy trail of hair inching to the button of his jeans, framed by your inner thighs and must’ve subconsciously squeezed them together, because billy let out a grunt as soon as you laid your eyes on them.

“can i touch you?” you asked, sliding your palms down his biceps and squeezing his forearm in one, the side of his hand in the other.

no one had ever asked him that before. it made him feel things in his stomach that he hadn’t ever contemplated before. it was weird. you thought he wasn’t replying because of what you didn’t say, so you made sure to add a small, needy,“please.”

“such a sweet thing,” billy mumbled, like it was a secret you weren’t allowed to hear. but you heard, and your cheeks flushed even further, as impossible as it was. but that feeling in his stomach grew and grew, some sort of gross fondness with your blush and pout- and he realized he needed to reestablish himself as the dominant one in this situation. he needed to hear you need him, beg for him.

so he lifted you up by the waist, manhandling you to be laying down on his bed with him sitting back on his knees. your legs were spread laying on top of his thighs, giving him a good and clear view of all of you. you had that deer caught in headlights look, lost and defenseless against him.

“ya act all tough, givin’ me sass. if only you saw how fuckin’ pathetic you look,” he growled. your hair fanned out under your head on his conveniently placed pillow. he decided then that blue was definitely your color, as you laid against his sheets, holding onto his forearms for dear life. he gathered your wrists in one hand, sliding them up your body as he lifted himself onto his knees, pushing himself forward until you were chest-to-chest. your knees were bent on either side of him, feet planted into the blue sheets to ground yourself. your wrists got pinned above your head, staying there when he released them because of the huffy whisper of, ‘leave ‘em there, sweetheart.’

you swallowed thick and hard as he moved down your body, latching his teeth onto the skin just above your breasts. you whined, wanting so badly to move your hands and grab onto his curly hair, but you also wanted so badly to please him. and you didn’t fucking know why, and it was infuriating, but god did you want his hand back on your cunt.

his hands cupped your breasts over your bra as he nipped at your chest, leaving them there just for a second before he was scooting down your body. your breath picked up, belly rising and falling rapidly as he found his way down it, seemingly biting and sucking at every ribcage until he was completely off the bed. his feet hit the floorboards as he pressed a less than gentle kiss just below your bellybutton, looking up at you through his eyelashes. your eyes were screwed shut, face clenched uncomfortably to not fall apart at the seams.

“look at me.” he barked suddenly, a sudden boom that made you flinch and eyes rapidly open. he smiled against your skin, you could feel his teeth dig into your belly, his tongue poke a dot of saliva down.

“please, can i touch you?“ you reiterated, your voice suddenly as whiney as it had ever been. you bucked your hips up, the cotton of your panties gently bump against his hard chest.

“no. hands to yourself.”

you frowned, pouted out your bottom lip and locked your eyes with his, trying to find peace within the oceans in his eyes. but they were darkened, muddy and clouded with a desire to ruin you.

he bit at your hipbone, keeping his eyes glued to yours, before his lips met the waistband of your cotton underwear. his hands replaced his lips on your hipbones with a bruising grip, keeping you pinned in place with not even a thought of movement. his sharp teeth latched onto the elastic, and you let out a pleading mewl, heels digging into his mattress. slowly, extremely slowly, his hands left your hips as his teeth pulled down your underwear from your body. the cotton slid down your thighs with him until it wrapped around your bent knees, where he just grabbed it and threw it away from you as he stood between your legs. and then you were just wearing a bra underneath him, eyes piercing into you with a need to devour you whole. you were sweating by this point, the salty liquid collecting on your collarbones and forehead.

“jesus fucking christ, (y/n),” he laughed. “thought you hated me, huh? gonna soak my sheets.”

you frowned, whimpering, “m’sorry.”

“oh, don’t worry. you’ll make it up to me.”

he clicked his tongue, shook his head with a quite scary smirk before diving it between your thighs, grabbing a mouthful of your inner thigh and sucked, hard. you mewled, nails digging into your palms with a dedication to follow his instructions. he hooked his palms under your thighs to hold you in place and tug him closer to you, impossible to escape as he inched his way closer to the center of your thighs. but he never got close enough; just kissed, licked and but his way up, down and around where you obviously wanted him most. every time he got close you ran your hips up to try and meet him, but then he retreated back all the way up to your knee. it got to where you winced every time his teeth scraped the soft skin from how irritated it was from his teeth. you were whining, whimpering but not saying anything out of fear that he would stop all together. at one point he got real close to the gummy, wet lips, just to where the color starts to shift, and just lingered there, staring up at you and gripping your sides to keep you from moving. he caught the thick skin between his teeth, and that was about your breaking point. you were aching, swollen clit so neglected it hurt sitting out there in the open.

“fuck, please billy-!” you cried out, stomach lifting up off the bed desperately, chasing anything you could get. “need it so bad, please..”

“quit whining.”

he said that, but that was exactly what he was waiting for. he was planning on taking his time with you, testing your limit with him, intoxicating you until he broke into your head. he was enjoying your dependency. the past week you had been leaving him high and dry by doing nothing. other girls had been wearing shorter skirts, wearing more makeup than they ever had, just to get his attention- and that was all fine and dandy. but you had been wearing the same high waisted, loose jeans and a sweater or a t-shirt that left everything to imagination. and for some reason, just seeing you had dirty thoughts that would make a priest saint running in his head. and he didn’t know why. he just knew it made him fucking furious. he had already hooked up with half of a whole lunch table, and every time, he thought of you. thought of the pretty noises you would make just for him, begging for his touch after neglecting him of yours. but he had to keep acting like you were just another body to him. a very, very good looking body that wouldn’t be able to leave his head, sure, but just a body to use anyways. but when you said that word please, looking like you were about to cry and asked for absolutely anything, he could have sworn he came in his jeans right there.

“please, please, i’ll be good! just want you to touch me.”

he huffed out a snicker. going to be the death of him.

billy decided to spare you. he moved his opposite palm, stuck out his thumb and lightly, ever so lightly, set the firm pad of his thumb on the top of your clit. but you got ahead of yourself, got too excited with the progress of stimulation and rut your core up to rub the slick little bundle of nerves against his thumb more.

“hey,” he snapped, not hesitating to retract his hand all together. “you are gonna take what i give you, when i give you it. stop being fuckin’ greedy.”

“m’sorry, m’sorry!” you pleaded, planting your hips back down and squeezing your eyes shut. “just felt good-“

“thought you were gonna be good, huh?” he mocked, shaking his head as his tongue poked out in his cheek. “couldn’t wait a couple seconds, that fucking pathetic.”

“please, lemme try again- promise, i’ll be good!”

he pointed a finger at you, raising his mean eyebrows warningly. “you move again, i’m not giving you anything.”

“but-“

“s’not my problem, brat,” billy spat. “look at me and watch.”

too scared to be deprived of anything else, you obeyed mindlessly, gulping down a ball of spit that had been collecting in your open mouth as you opened your eyes and met his. you were shaking, thighs tense and unsteady around his face. your abs, arms, every muscle in your body clenched up when billy’s thumb returned against the hardened bud, his other fingers joining it to dig into one lip to spread you open. his knuckle rested in your slick slit, the smooth membrane welcoming him with a nasty, wet sound. you twitched, praying that everything moved except where billy was now rubbing slow circles. he didn’t seem to care about that. you hissed, letting out a loud “ah!” every movement he made felt like a full on sex toy you saw in a magazine every once in a while. it was overwhelming. the simple, slow rhythm consumed you, your jaw hanging open slightly.

“hng- s’good,” you panted. “more, please? please.”

billy rolled his eyes, scoffed at you a bit, but obliged, picking up the pace to a steady jog. his pointer finger began wandering down, sliding in the slickness of your cunt until he found the ring of muscle begging for something to lodge itself in it.

“fuck,” he groaned. he could smell your sweet arousal, how bad you needed him. his eyes snapped up to yours.

you got the memo, nodded eagerly. slowly, curiously, the tip of his pointer finger slid inside you, just enough to worm around and explore. you panted erratically, walls sucking his finger in. he wandered in further, steadily and slowly sliding his finger in you until your entrance halted at his knuckle.

“ah! f-fuck, thank you-“

his eyes left yours, instead raking down your body to find your hole. he swallowed down his breath. you were dripping onto his hand, swollen lips smacking and emitting wet sounds every time he moved his finger around.

“fuck, (y/n),” he groaned breathily, beginning to pump his finger in and out in a small pattern, matching his thumb to the pace. billy had never heard such sweet sounds from such a vulgar practice, in all the times he had fingered a girl at the very spot you were in. whines and gasps and little mewls that threatened to turn into moans.

however, he must have decided that you just weren’t wet enough still.

before you even realized it, his lips had wrapped around your clit, sucking and raking his tongue around and around. his pointer remained at its same pace, but was quickly joined with his middle finger, scissoring and stretching the tight ring. you let out a pathetic moan, the sound he had been anticipating. and you just couldn’t help it, it was all too much, and your own hands shot from above your head to tangling in his hair.

billy grunted into your slit, licking a stripe up from where his fingers spread you apart until he lifted his head up to look at you. very angrily. the creases on his forehead deepened, jaw clenched.

“didn’t i fuckin’ tell you to keep your hands to yourself?” he growled, halting his fingers plunged into you.

you pouted, a full on pout with big doe eyes and a pushed up chin, your eyebrows meeting high up on your face. you nodded slowly, trying to quickly choose your words wisely.

“h-hold them, please?” you strangled out, releasing his hair from your fist and laying them over your stomach. his jaw set as he shook his head with a cocky, sharp simper.

yet, he still wrangled up your wrists in his grip, keeping them pinned at your belly as he dove back into you. the action didn’t seem to phase him all that much. and it didn’t. he was flattered that you needed to hold onto him, but he had to keep the act up. it was getting hard, too. you were fucking adorable with that needy pout, saying please with every sentence. he was also getting very hard. like, painful hard. he was straining against his jeans, thick, hot blood causing a horrible tension.

but you didn’t have any affect over him, obviously.

his tongue continued with its attack, lapping between your folds ferociously, spit and your juices sloppily dripping down his chin and wetting the ghost of hair above his upper lip. his fingers sped up, erratic and merciless. he was chasing something. your eyes, as hard as you tried to keep them open, rolled to the back of your head as they followed the stars and sparks flying around your head. painted pink nails dug into the back of billy’s hand. your moans got louder and louder, frenzied. you almost sounded pained, but it was the complete opposite. it felt so good to be full, you felt full enough that there was a weight in your lower belly, like an endless black hole that kept sucking your senses in.

billy felt your walls tighten around his fingers, making him work harder to keep the pace he wanted. every little sound you made pushed more blood to his hungry cock- he would definitely have to take his underwear off without you seeing the wet patch staining his white briefs. a smile tugged at his lips as they sucked at your clit ruthlessly. you were tensing up so much billy thought you would have exploded. his grip on your wrists loosened up just a tad, enough to wiggle his hand around to grab at one of your palms so you could squeeze it as much as you needed.

but you didn’t have any affect on him.

“billy- billy, m’gonna cum-“ you cried, those words becoming a chant as the weight sank further into your gut. there was a fluttering feeling throughout your body, shockwaves gripping at every nerve and muscle. your mouth hung open wide, your breath getting faster and faster until-

it all disappeared. your vision went white for a while, stars disappearing from your sky as the coil in your stomach slowly uncoiled itself in a very unsatisfying resolution. you felt empty, walls contracting around nothing. his fingers were gone, tongue gone from your slit.

when your vision and partial sanity returned, you came to billy, standing between your legs, sucking off his pointer and middle finger. you were heaving, breathing staggered and noisy like there was a giant cotton ball in your chest. slowly, he removed his fingers from his lips, the same perfect lips that had just been pleasuring you like it was the last thing on earth he would do. his thumb, that same fucking thumb that teased you, wiped your juices off his upper lip and onto a flat tongue.

you felt like you wanted to cry.

“oh, what happened?” billy taunted, hands reaching for his belt and undoing it, making a long show of sliding it out of his jean loops. “did you wanna cum?”

“yes! yes, i did!” you sobbed out, tugging your hands out of his grip grumpily.

“poor baby,” he graveled cruelly, grabbing one of your hands to place a wet kiss on the back of it just to rub it in that your wet arousal was just sucked into his mouth. you sat yourself up, arms crossing loosely over your stomach as you sulked. “you must just hate me.”

you glowered at him, looking to billy like he just took a toy away from a puppy. but your ears perked up when you saw him unbutton his jeans, shove them down his heavy thighs. unsurprisingly, there was a thick, long tent begging to escape from the white fabric doing him no justice. and just as he didn’t want you to see, his pre-cum had left a small splotch of darkened, damp white just where his thick tip was.

your eyes were the size of the moon at it. you stared, rudely abusing the privilege he was giving you. you gulped.

“i wanna- can- can i-“ you stammered, scooting your way closer to the edge of the bed.

“can you what? speak up.”

“can i touch.. it? you?”

he scoffed, laughed maliciously.

“go for it.”

you bit your bottom lip rather roughly. you cautiously reached out, hooking your fingers in the waistband of his tighty whities to pull them down eagerly. his cock sprung out excitedly, stealing your oxygen away in the process. he was big. like, really big and it really wasn’t fair. thicker than it was long, slightly curved up, his big tip tapping his toned stomach. there was already white heading at the small slit in the oversized head, contrasting the angry red that covered his girth. you could see the veins popping out as they ran up his cock, and in that moment, you wanted nothing more than to run your tongue up each and every inch. but you yourself were way too desperate. you watched as he reached over to his nightstand, grabbing one of those aluminum squares. he was quick to open it, pull the condom out and stretch it snugly over his cock.

“you scared? think it’s not gonna fit?” he purred, reaching out to card his fingers through your hair to angle your flushed face up to him. you shook your head, offering him a tiny, excited grin. you wrapped a hand around the thick base, immediately coaxing a prolonged groan from his pretty lips. his head tilted back, which encouraged you to slide your hand up and down at a very slow pace- testing your waters. he cursed loudly, grunting your name as he tugged at your scalp lightly.

“you want it, don’t you?”

you nodded rapidly.

“say it.”

you pursed your lips, keeping your pride down in your stomach.

“i want it, billy.”

“ohhh, come on, you can do better than that,” he sarcastically encouraged, tightening a fist in your hair as your own fist stroked his cock at a steady pace. you frowned, shoulders dropping. your face clenched up for a second, releasing all of that stupid old dignity stuff.

“please, billy- i want you to.. fuck me. please,” you whimpered up at him. “need you so bad. you’re so big, need it in me-“

how could he say no to that?

“atta girl,” he grinned. in a swift movement, you returned back to your original position. you laying down on his bed, legs spread and bridged over his thighs, but this time, his thirsty cock pressed in between your folds. billy’s fist pumped himself a couple times, spitting out curses and growls. his cheeks pressed up against his eyes and made them squint up. you felt the smooth head press up against your entrance, slicking itself up in your juices.

“please, please, please,” you chanted quietly, clutching his sheets in your hands and scooting yourself closer to his cock. billy held his breath as he pressed into you, thickness splitting you open with the slightest taste of pain. your mouth went slack, stuck in a soundless moan as you gently writhed, walls swallowing every inch he slowly gave you.

“give it to me, sweet girl, give it to me,” he breathlessly huffed, stuffing you full at a painful speed.

“take it, take it- it’s yours,” you moaned, back arching up. your pelvises finally met eachother when the curly collection of hair surrounding his cock hit your skin. you felt so full, so warm. you both moaned in unison, yours far more whiney than his. he muttered something about taking him so well, being so good, simultaneously rolling his hips expertly to plunge his cock into you.

you cried out at the intrusion, how you stretched tight around him. he didn’t give you any time to adjust, immediately beginning to thrust into your needy cunt at a pace that aimed to please him most. your moans nearly turned into yelps and shouts, babbling curses mixed with his cursed name.

“f-fuck, fuck,” billy stammered, his words coming out as a sick laugh as he watched you suck his cock into your sweet core every time he pulled out to slam back in. it wasn’t a quick pace, just deep and rough and enough to make you reconsider the existence of god. he grabbed at your sides to push you down onto his cock counter to his jackhammers into you. his tongue stuck out and rested against his bottom lip in concentration. you weren’t talking, both in your own worlds with swearing god to hell and moaning the others name. the rest of the space was filled with his heavy balls slapping against you every time his hips struck down into you and the ugly squelching your cunt sounded around him.

“god- billy!” you yelped. “so, so good- feels so good-!”

he sped up with every minute, eventually rising to a bruising pace that would imprint the art of his thick cock onto the walls of your pussy. he was grunting, spit flying from his lips. the veins in his forearms were pulsing as they flexed when he worked you into a rhythm, using your body to stroke his cock over and over again. that coil was there again in your belly, warm and uncomfortable and pressuring you to relieve it.

he slowed down for a minute, just so he could bend over and lay his forehead on your collarbone, lifting up your hips just so he could reach the deepest possible angle he could. he hit the rough, folded patch in your cunt with every stroke and sent a spark straight to the hot fire building up. the sounds you were making were on par to sobbing, now right in billy’s ears. he looked like he was just taking a rest for a second, but you knew that he was staring down between your thighs, watching his cock ruin your hole in ways it had never been ruined before. and you both knew that it wouldn’t be ruined like this by anyone else. his hips rolled into yours, bruising your pelvic bone and you couldn’t help but push against him.

“fuck, just made for me,” billy purred against your collarbone, too distracted by the view to reprimand you for grabbing onto his back, his shoulders, anywhere you could reach with your nails. he was fine with some battle marks, anyways. your moans and whines never ceased, but his quieted down to heavy breaths that fanned over your skin and left goosebumps anywhere it could reach.

“wanna cum, wanna cum so bad. all for you,” you beckoned, a hand tangling in his hair freely. you got away with it, too, he just let you tug at his hair. one particularly hard tug left him moaning himself under his breath; you took a note of that.

billy sucked in an especially hard breath before returning to his brutal pace, thighs slapping against yours and the disgusting sounds returning to his warm room. the thread was getting tighter and tighter, and it was so, so ready to snap. he knew it, he could tell how your pussy fluttered around him and your thighs clenched around his hips. he just sped up, finding a pace that erupted the most sounds from you and then stuck to it. you writhed and jerked below him, clawing at his shoulder and tugging at his curls. sweat was everywhere, in your palms, glistening on his back and streaming down his forehead. the inner fat of your thighs were soaked by now, slippery as his skin slapped against them. your back lifted so far up it hurt, you knew you would be sore.

“gonna make me- fuck, gonna make me cum, (y/n).” he found your shoulder, bit down roughly. he wasn’t lying.

“please, please, need it-“

he lifted you up ever so slightly just to ram himself into your g-spot repeatedly, making you feel like a hundred pounds of feathers were fallen onto your gut. he kept thrusting and thrusting, hard and at the perfect pace. every time his balls smacked against your ass it just added to the weight in your belly, until it just became too much and you couldn’t control it. with a couple more thrusts, you were clenching around him, so tight billy could have sworn you grew some erotic superpower. you went quiet, before the loudest, most delicious moan spewed from your lips. your entire body shook, vibrated, as you continued to cry out. it was long and hard and hit you like billy’s camaro crashed into you at 100 miles per hour. but it was good. so, so good. addictive. you just dissolved into the pleasure, melted into his wetted sheets. it came in unkind waves, each one sending you into a new planet with your eyes rolled back far into your brain. and still, all you saw was billy. he captured a moan in his own mouth as he pressed his lips against yours in a lazy, careless kiss that could barely classify as that. it was just gross and messy, exchanging spit and swears and moans.

your clenching cunt coaxed billy’s own orgasm, a huffy and vicious moan coming out from his lips straight into your ear and made you feel like you came again. he thrusted into you as roughly as he could for a chain of pumps, until he stopped at the deepest point he could, fingers digging into your waist. he filled the condom to the brim, you could feel it weighing in you and it coaxed a sob from you.

“fuck! shit, (y/n)!” he exclaimed deeply, heaving and panting as he started up again, slowly and gently as he rode out his own orgasm. you went limp underneath him, holding onto him with your zero remaining strength. he slowed down to another stop, taking his sweet time pulling out of you, leaving you gaping and ruined.

you both were slowly returning to earth, panting and heaving harshly. your hands slid away from him, legs falling into the mattress as you molded into the mattress. he slid himself off of you, collapsing right next to you on the mattress with a dreamy look on his face.

but soon, both of your faces fell, as you returned back to earth and the oxygen got back to your brains. a dreadful, horrible thought and realization possessed both of you and forced both of your breathing to cease to exist.

what were you getting yourselves into?

TAGLIST

@i-am-lokii-of-asgard @ekirah-d-spair @dasha029 @whiskeypowder @ymylu @emtaz-art @extra-3motions @fanatics30 @hessy04 @nikos-a-clown @zucchinimalfoy @angelbbygrl ask to be added!

[the-fiction-witch]

11th Christmas Fairy

TV SHOW SEX EDUCATION COUPLE: OTIS X READER RATING: CUTE

I smiled as I got to the school for the Christmas party lights, tinsel and paper snowflakes everywhere walking up the usual stairs "Hey y/n" I heard behind me I turned seeing Otis and instantly jumping into his arms

"Otis! I missed you"

"I missed you too sweetie" He smiled giving me a tight cuddle

"you saw each other four hours ago" Eric laughed as he walked alongside

"what are you as?" I asked

"the kid from nightmare before Christmas that gets the head in a box" he says

"so PJs?"

"Yeah kinda" He nods

"what are you, boys?" I asked Eric and adam

"elves" adam says

"but like... fun flirty elves" eric corrected "I love your angel"

"angel?" I asked "I'm a Christmas fairy," I said

"Christmas fairy?" Otis asked

"That's what the costume bag said" I sighed but there was silence "god damn it! I'm an angel aren't I?" I sighed

"I think so hun" Otis nods

"The costume bag lied to me" I sighed "Come on I want a shot of something" I sighed holding otis' hand

he smiled and gave my head a kiss "I think you're a lovely little Christmas fairy or angel either I think you look nice"

"Thank you Otis" I smiled

"I'd put you on the top of my Christmas tree"

"You would?"

"of course I would" He smiled

"Thank you" I smiled giving him a kiss

"Come on my little fairy" He smiled "I'll get you something to drink"

"Yay!" I giggled

we drank, we danced, we had fun with all our friends and eventually, we stumbled into otis' bedroom

"Ummmm you look so pretty" He smiled cuddling me

"am I? don't I always look pretty?"

"always but the cute little tiny dress made out of glitter really.... highlights my little angel" He smirked

"Does it now" I smirked pushing him onto his bed "Well you have been ready for bed all night" I smirked

"I have, I've been ready and waiting all night" he smirked pulling me into his lap

"do you wanna put me on your Christmas tree?"

"I'll put you on something" He smirked

"You've had too much to drink Otis, let your little fairy but you to sleep"

"No I wanna go to bed with my little angel" he smirked dragging me down to lay on the bed

"Alright, come on then Otis" I smirked

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (32/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: all of my thanks to all of you for reading these words and enjoying them and to @resident-of-storybrooke​ for reading all of these words beforehand to make sure they make sense ❤️

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @stunningswan​ @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog​ @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ 

-/-

Killian’s shoulder is stiff when he wakes up. It’s not necessarily painful which is more than good considering how it’s been for a few weeks now, but it is definitely stiff. He’s sure that it has to do with spending most of yesterday stuck in a car with the Nolans because there were photographers waiting for him at the airport, and he immediately told David to turn around because he was not going in there with vultures waiting for him like that.

That decision may as well have screwed up his shoulder that little bit more, but sitting in the safety of Mary Margaret’s SUV is probably exactly what kept his mind intact.

No one in that car asked him any questions about his dad or his injury or Milah. No one there brought up everything he’s trying to forget. It’s simply a little hard to forget it all when he was trying to watch his team’s game last night and thirty minutes was spent talking about an article that is apparently determined to take over his life.

Fuck Walsh Osborne and fuck Brennan Jones.

They deserve nothing.

All he’s trying to do is play baseball and live his life. He never wanted any of this. He never asked for any of it.

The past two days of his life have been hell, and he’s been away from it all where it couldn’t honestly and truly get to him. Killian’s been in Maine trying to have a good time with his girlfriend and her family, and he’s avoided his phone as much as possible so as to not see all of the backlash. Emma has done the same.

Of course, he did have an extremely concerned brother who was also torn apart by their shitty excuse of a father lying and finally using them for money he’s probably already gambling away. He also had Elsa and Anna worried sick. That’s not even mentioning Will and Robin or Eric and Ariel.

God, Ariel.

She’d gone absolutely ballistic. Killian doesn’t think he’s ever actually heard that many curse words come out of her mouth, but in the hour that he spent talking to her (it was pretty much fifty minutes of her talking, ten minutes of him, and that’s being generous), he learned about an entirely new side of Ariel Fisher.

Or, at least, her mouth.

She is willing to go to war for him. All of these people are, and as flattered and grateful as Killian is for that, right now he is exhausted. Simply thinking about everything that’s going on in his life is exhausting. Hell, he’s just woken up thirty seconds ago, and his brain has already focused in on these catastrophic parts of his life in the damn article and his damn shoulder.

He’ll have to do some of his exercises before he goes into the stadium to meet with Archie for his physical therapy.

Physical therapy before physical therapy. What a concept.

He’ll also have to read the press statement that Ariel has written to be released. It’s all carefully thought out and lawyer approved and absolutely everything that he doesn’t want to say. He wants to say that the people spreading lies about him are the fucking scum of the earth. Instead he has to release a statement politely stating that while he doesn’t usually give out comments on his personal life, he will say that there are parts of his past of which he is not proud but they are in the past. They are not part of his present.

There’s some shit in there about his father and how his words were untrue, but he left that part to Ariel and some of the team’s PR managers to write. Killian knows that he’s too emotional about that to say anything that is even remotely acceptable.

The one part of the statement that he carefully crafted himself is the one at the end where he states in very clear words that Emma has earned every bit of her success in her career, exemplifies the height of professionalism every day, and that insinuating that a woman has advanced in her career because of who she is dating is a form of sexism that he will not tolerate. He may have screwed up in the past when he asked her out, but he’s learning that stupid questions and games aren’t always okay no matter how well-intended they are. Other people should learn too.

That’s all that he cares about the world knowing. They can think all kinds of shit about him and his past and what he did to his father, but they’re not going to get to think that Emma has slept her way up the ladder.

There’s no way in hell.

Slowly, Killian moves to sit up in bed, the covers barely draped over his waist, and starts doing a few short movements with his arm. Emma is still asleep on her side of the bed, nearly all of the blanket bunched around her, and he has to be careful not to wake her up. She is not a fan of being woken up for anything other than food or sex. And sometimes not even those two.

(She always wakes up for food.)

He pads out of his bedroom and down the hallway to the room where he keeps his gym equipment. It’s supposed to be a spare bedroom, but since he already has one of those, he didn’t see the point in having two when he has more use for a bit of a personal gym. Slipping into his sneakers and tying the laces, Killian gets dressed to go for his morning jog. He’s still half asleep, is still wearing the sweatpants that he slept in, but this is going to have to work. He turns on the television so that he has something to distract himself, finding whatever morning show that it is that airs for what seems like ten hours a day, and then he starts a slow jog to try to loosen himself up a little bit.

And to make himself forget.

Focusing on the different ways that his body aches and on the way that he’d rather be in bed usually keeps his mind off of everything else that’s in there fighting for dominance.

Nothing like killing himself with exercise to calm himself down.

It’s an hour run, no more and no less, and sweat is dripping down his entire body by the time that he’s finished. Killian has to towel himself down, wiping away the sweat from his chest and his back before running the cloth through his hair. His shoulder is still stiff, so he picks up the free weights and runs through a few repetitions until he knows that he can’t push himself any further.

In the past, Killian has always pushed himself past his limits, especially when his mind is the one attacking him, but he can’t do that anymore. That’s how he ends up in situations like this.

That and lying his ass off about the kind of pain he’s in.

By the time he finishes exercising, the sun has risen outside, sunshine shining brightly through the glass windowpanes. Having such large windows everywhere is great until he has a bit of a headache and needs a large cup of coffee, about a gallon of water, and something to eat.

Water. He desperately needs water right now. And food.

Killian takes off his socks and shoes and wanders into the kitchen, fixing himself a glass of cold water to drink before making himself some oatmeal. It’s not really what he wants, but it will have to do for this morning. He’ll eat something more filling in the clubhouse.

Soft hands wrap around his stomach, gentle fingers trailing up and down the hair on his chest, and Killian can feel Emma pressing into him and nuzzling her nose in between his shoulder blades. He smiles and puts his spoon back in the bowl on his countertop before placing his hand over both of hers and patting against his abs. Her lips are smooth when they press against his skin in response.

“I thought this a few days ago,” she mumbles, and he can practically hear the sleepy smile in her voice, “but I’m incredibly happy with my life choices right now.”

“And why’s that, love?”

“You’re really damn hot.”

Killian snorts, unable to help himself, and chalks up the heat in his cheeks to him still being warm from exercise. “And by that you mean incredibly sweaty and gross from my workout.”

Emma hums against his skin and tightens her arms around his stomach. “You know, that is exactly what I was trying to say.”

“I thought so. How’d you sleep?”

“Really good actually.” She kisses his back once more before releasing him and stepping around to the side so that he can see her rumpled hair and the way that the t-shirt she’s wearing is falling off of her shoulder. Emma hops up onto the counter, something she’s been doing a lot lately in the mornings, and lets her legs dangle. There are red pillow marks against her cheek. “Your bed is about a million times more comfortable than the one at Ruth’s. I think it hurt my back.”

Killian chuckles and moves to take another bite of his oatmeal before the remaining bit gets cold. “So, you turn twenty-eight in a month, and you’re already preparing to be an old woman. I like that you’re ahead of the game.”

“Twenty-eight is in no way old. Plus, you’re, like, nine months older than me, so you’re not allowed to ever call me old.”

“Nine months is not a long time.”

“Tell that to a pregnant woman.”

“True,” Killian admits, scooping up some more oatmeal. “Do you want something to eat before you go get ready for work?”

“Not hungry.”

“You are always hungry in the morning, Swan.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “There’s a first time for everything.”

The pieces click together in Killian’s mind, and he sighs before stepping in between her legs and reaching his hands up to push all of her stray hairs behind her ears so that he can look into the emerald of her eyes. “So, you’re nervous then?”

“Nope.”

“Emma.”

“I’m nervous as hell,” she admits. That didn’t take much coaxing. “I don’t think…I mean, no one is going to say anything to me. I’m almost sure of it, especially because the only people I’m working with today are Ruby and Jeff and the guys…but I feel like.” She sighs, and he runs his thumb over the apple of her cheek to get her to look back up at him. “I feel like I’m going to have to start over again.”

“You’re not going to have to start over.”

Emma nods her head and leans her cheek into his palm while her eyes close, blonde lashes landing against freckles. “I know. I’m just – I never got to have anything that was simply mine until I was older. I always had to share everything, if there was anything to share. But my work: that has always been mine. Having to deal with people trying to take that away from me is terrifying.”

“No one,” he starts, tapping his thumb, “is taking your job away from you. Are the comments you’re inevitably getting going to suck? Yes. But they’re not true. You know they’re not true, and I know they’re not true. My Emma is too strong to let the words of some misogynistic assholes bring her down.”

She chuckles and opens her eyes before leaning forward and pressing her forehead against his. Her lips brush over his, nothing more than the lightest of fleeting kisses, but her lips never leave his long enough for him to feel her falling away. Emma’s hands ghost over his neck until they’re landing on his shoulders, nails digging into skin, and her lips start moving over his in a slow, lazy kiss that has him tasting the mint of her toothpaste and feeling the warmth of her tongue.

Killian hums into it, tilting his head to the right to deepen the kiss, and Emma’s hands pull him closer into her while the hairs on his arms stand at attention. He doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of kissing her, not like this. And not when her lips trail along his jaw and down his neck, tongue flat against his pulse.

“Darling, as much as I want you, and trust me, I always want you, we don’t have time.”

“I have time,” she mumbles.

“Aye, you do, but what I have in mind takes two of us.”

Laughter passes through Emma’s lips as she pulls back from him, and Killian immediately misses the warm press of her lips. “I’m going to go take a shower in the guest room because I think I’m going to need you to drive me to work.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because there’s a hell of a lot of photographers outside your apartment, and the only way out of here without me punching a camera is through the garage.”

“For fucks sake,” Killian groans, stepping out of Emma’s legs and walking over to the kitchen window to look at the small mass of people waiting outside his apartment. “I’m a baseball player. I literally throw a ball for a living. It’s not that interesting.”

“So, you’ll drive me then?”

“Yeah, Swan. I will. I’ve got to leave in thirty minutes so be quick.”

-/-

A few teammates and managers are in the clubhouse when Killian walks through, and while the room does quiet a bit when he initially walks in, everything goes back to normal as Killian goes through his locker, most of his gear untouched for two weeks now. He’s been here a few times, not every day like he usually is, but it’s still odd to show up for physical therapy and strength training while not actually playing.

His teammates rely on him, and yet he is a bit of a mess right now. They probably all are too. Their lives simply aren’t splashed across the pages of tabloids and on Instagram. He hasn’t seen most of it, all of the apps shut down on his phone, but Ruby has been keeping track and talking to Emma about it.

It’s…a lot.

And everyone now knows more about him than he ever wanted them to.  

But it’s fine. It has to be fine. He’s simply here to have his shoulder worked on, and nothing else is going to bother him. He hopes Emma’s day goes much the same. Honestly, that’s what he’s most nervous about especially with how nervous she was this morning and on the car ride over. Her leg never stopped fidgeting.

Today is a huge game with the play-offs being on the line, but he’s not going to still be around the stadium this afternoon. He thought about it and wanted to be there, still kind of wants to, but just being in the locker room today is a little overwhelming. Plus, he doesn’t want to make today any harder on Emma by having her have to interact with him at work. He’ll be around for all of the other big moments to give awful hope-induced speeches and celebrate in the post-game high. Today, he’ll simply watch in the comfort of Liam’s home.

“Oi,” Will greets, slapping Killian’s back. “How was Maine?”

“Fine.”

“Did you impress Emma’s mom?”

Killian almost corrects Will, but he knows it’s not necessary. “I mean, besides her learning about all of my dirty laundry, I do think she genuinely liked me.”

“Well, if she can get past all of that, you’re golden, ponyboy.”

He laughs and rolls his eyes, looking over to Will and the big cheesy smile on his face. “I mean, you got past all of that and are still joking around with me.”

Will shrugs his shoulders. “We’ve all got shit going on in our lives, but my face isn’t handsome enough for me to be a celebrity outside of baseball. I’m just good at my job all on my own.”

Killian reaches out to punch Will’s shoulder but he dodges it, sticking his tongue out. “Asshole.”

“Pretty much. Can you practice with me today?”

“Nah, not today. My doctor’s appointment is in two weeks for him to check up on my arm. I might get to come back then, so you guys better clench the playoff’s spot today so that I can finish this season out on the right note.”

“I’ll try my hardest. Keep your chin up, Jones. You’re prettier that way.”

-/-

Killian works with Archie on his arm for an hour before doing some more strength conditioning for his core, and by the time he’s out of the clubhouse and the locker room, it’s nearly two in the afternoon.

A part of him wants to go see Emma and check on her since the game won’t start for another hour and she’s been here for as long as he has, but he knows that today of all days, he might as well leave her alone while she’s working. They haven’t talked about how they want to interact around the team quite yet, mostly because he isn’t technically back to work, but also because in the three days since his life has blown up, all he’s done is talk. He’s a bit tired of it.

They’ll discuss it later.

For now, he texts her to have a good game before walking through the tunnels to the garage and getting into his car to head back to Midtown so that he can pick Addy and Lucy up from their school.

Uncle of the Year, obviously.

Twenty-five minutes later, he’s pulling into the parking lot of their elementary school, thankful that no one seems to be following him, and slamming his car door shut to walk up the front pathway of the school and pressing the buzzer to the front door to get in. it doesn’t matter how many times he picks them up, the front office secretary always seems to forget who he is.

“Name,” she says through the speaker.

“Killian Jones.”

“Who are you here to pick up?”

“Addison and Lucy Jones.”

It takes a few seconds, and he’s sure that she’s typing in their information. “You’re not one of their parents.”

“Aye, I know,” he sighs, rolling his eyes a bit. “I’m their Uncle. My name is on their approved list. It’s – ”

“Oh, I see you now, Mr. Jones,” she interrupts like clockwork. “I’m buzzing you in. Please wait in the lobby, and the girls will be brought to you.”

Killian nods his head and opens the door after it clicks. Addy and Lucy usually have their nanny pick them up from school since Liam and Elsa are at work, but in the few times he’s done it, he’s quickly learned the routine. He knows that their teacher is currently standing under an awning on the other side of the school with all of the children who are being released to their regularly scheduled guardians, and the teacher’s aide will be the one to bring the girls to him at the front of the school. It always takes about five minutes, and sure enough, after a little over four minutes, he sees two blonde heads of hair come into his view, their backpacks nearly as large as they are.

Out of instinct, he squats down to their level because he knows they’re about to tackle him with an embrace. Sure enough, they do, and Killian swears that his heart grows three sizes like he’s the damn Grinch.

“Why weren’t you at dinner last night?” Addy immediately asks him in leu of a hello.

“I was in Maine. Do you know where Maine is?”

“Nope.”

Killian grabs both of their hands, squeezing Lucy’s a little tighter, and the leads them out the front door so that they can walk toward the parking lot to his car.

“Maine is another state, like New York, and it’s where Emma was born. I spent my weekend there with her.”

“Where is Emma?” Lucy asks.

“She’s at work.”

“Why aren’t you at work?”

Isn’t that the question?

“I hurt my shoulder, Luce. Remember?”

She nods her head.

“Is Emma coming to dinner tonight?” Addison asks him as he opens the back door to his car and lets her climb across to the booster seat that he had to put in his car this morning.

“She’s supposed to, but she might be a little late.”

The girls continue to ask him questions about Emma. Their brains never cease to stop coming up with new ones, and it honestly makes him laugh that they’re so interested in what she’s doing and where she is. It only stings the slightest bit that every time they see him, all they truly care about is seeing Emma.

Then again, that’s exactly how he is too.

They ask for ice cream, and while he would usually stop, Killian is under strict instructions from Elsa not to give them sweets since they’re having some with dinner tonight. So, ever the bearer of bad news, he has to tell them no as they drive through the city on the way to their house. Traffic is surprisingly good, especially for the time of day, but they don’t have to travel far until he’s pulling into the garage and helping the girls grab their things to go inside.

In the ten minutes that they were in the car, they somehow managed to lose all four of their shoes, a hair bow, and Lucy’s favorite stuffed animal.

Just amazing. Honestly.

Killian fixes the two of them a snack, slicing up an apple and some peanut butter, before giving them glasses of water and listening to them both go into very detailed instructions about their days. Addy is obviously more talkative, but they used water colors in Lucy’s preschool class today and the girl is hyped over them.  

Seriously. He doesn’t think she has ever been so excited about anything. She may very well be taking after her grandmother in the artistic skills department.

For the next hour, he helps Addy through her few assignments so Liam and Elsa don’t have to deal with it when they get home, but then they’re finished with all of that (thank goodness because getting a six-year-old to focus on school when she’s just left school is damn difficult), and he’s able to turn on the game.

It’s the bottom of the third, and both teams are still scoreless. Arthur is currently up to bat, and while he makes Killian’s jaw clench, he’s a damn good baseball player who they need. You simply can’t win everything.

“Are we winning?” Addy asks before she crawls up next to him and cuddles into his side.

“Not yet, little love.”

“It’s because you’re not playing. They’re not as good without you.”

“Oh, that’s not true,” he sighs, having to bite back his laugh. “We’re a team. They need all of us to be good.”

“Yeah, but you’re the best.”

“You only think that because I’m your uncle.”

“Maybe. All of my friends think you’re cool except for Billy who likes the Red Sox.”

She shifts against him and Lucy does the same, and he swears their elbows are the sharpest objects on the planet. Arthur’s bat makes contact with the pitch, and it flies to the outfield only to be caught and end the inning. Damn. They had two people on base. That could have been huge. The camera changes from the field to Emma where she’s standing just outside the dugout holding a microphone in her hand talking about how today’s game can officially clench their playoff spot. They’re going to make it. All they have to do is win one of their next ten games, and even then, they’d still qualify based on how everyone else in the league is doing.

He’d kind of like to be the number one seed going in, though.

“Do you and Emma have any babies?”

What the hell?

Killian blinks several times before looking down at Addison, who doesn’t seem to realize what she’s just said. She’s simply looking at the television screen still watching Emma.

“No, sweetheart,” he stutters out, “we don’t have any babies.”

“Why not?”

“Um, because it’s not time for us to have babies yet. Babies are loud and messy, and they smell bad, you know? I think it’ll still be a few years before Emma and I have any babies.”

Holy shit. Did he just say that?

How does he get out of this conversation?

“Okay,” Addy shrugs. “I’m going to brush my teeth. They feel fuzzy.”

At that, she gets up from the couch and moves to walk away. Okay, so that’s how he gets out of that conversation.

Kids are so damn weird.

Each inning in the game seems to go on for more than forever, the outs slow to come for each team, and the Yankees finally score in the bottom of the sixth with Booth’s single. It’s a relief, even if there is still a lot of game to be played, but Killian gets distracted by it all when Elsa and Liam walk through their garage door and there’s a bit of chaos with the girls immediately having to tell their parents everything they’ve already told him about their day.

Including the fact that he and Emma don’t have any babies. That gets him quite the look from Liam. Eventually, though, Elsa moves the girls to the kitchen, leaving him with a not-so-subtle wink. She’s very obviously giving he and Liam time to talk, and as much as he appreciates that, Killian also doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants to lay on this couch and watch this game and not do anything else.

Liam obviously has other ideas.

“I have been contacted by no less than fifteen people today asking me to give my statement or appear on one of those inane morning shows to tell, and I quote, ‘my side of the story.’ It simply makes me wonder how many of these shows Brennan has offers to be on.”

Killian scoffs. “I imagine all of the seedy ones, but I don’t think he’ll do it.”

“No?”

“No.” Killian crosses his legs over each other and props his hands behind his head. “I’ve thought about it a hell of a lot, and I think he did this to hurt us more than the money. Walsh couldn’t have paid him that much. He doesn’t make much money. And it’s not as if there were a lot of details. If he wanted money, he would have gone to a bigger publication. Maybe he’ll do that if there’s enough interest, but I think it was more about hurting me.”

“Do you really think he’s that petty?”

Killian arches a brow. “Brennan Jones? We’re talking about the same man, aren’t we? Of courseOf course , he’s that petty. He only cares about himself. Always has. That’s not going to change.”

Liam sighs and taps his fingers against the wood of the side table. “How are you handling things?”

“Just peachy, thanks.”

“Killian.”

“What?” he sighs, propping himself up on his elbows so that he can actually look at Liam. “I’m pissed. I’m upset. I’m angry. There are so many emotions swirling around in my head that I can’t even keep track of how I feel. And there’s nothing I can actually do about it, you know? The damn thing has spread like wildfire, and I can’t stop it. My statement can’t stop it either. The only real option that I have is possibly suing that bastard for libel, and all that will do is drag both Emma and me into a legal battle that’s simply not worth fighting.”

Liam doesn’t say anything. There’s nothing to be said. They hashed all of this out over the phone. Killian ranted before Liam took his turn. Brennan deserves absolutely no space in either of their minds, but he manages to find it anyways. It is exactly the thing that has fire burning in the pit of Killian’s belly.

“I’m going to be fine,” Killian says to fill the silence that the sounds of the baseball game on the television aren’t filling. “You will be fine. Emma too. It’s just…I hate that it happened, but I can’t change it. I can’t change it, and I can’t fix it. Hopefully things will calm down as the days pass. I imagine that once I start playing again, this will simply be a footnote.”

“You know,” Liam begins, “a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets.”

Killian can’t help but roll his eyes. He’s heard that line a few times before, and it’sit’s always so damn pompous no matter how true it is.

“Yeah, well, the only thing I’m currently willing to fight for is the woman on that TV screen right there. She’s sticking by me because she loves me, and I am not dragging her through the mud anymore.”

“I think I’d likely do the same.”

“I know you would.”

“Daddy,” Lucy screeches as she runs into the room, loose curls escaping her braid and framing her face, “Mommy says that you have to come and put the steaks on the grill outside.”

“Well,” Liam starts as he stands and walks over to Lucy to pick her up and rest her on his hip, “if Mommy says so, then I guess I must.”

The two of them leave the room, and Killian is left to his own thoughts once more. One day, his life won’t be this complicated. It will be complicated in other, different ways, but it won’t be complicated quite like this. One day he will be carrying his own child on his hip, hopefully one he’s had with Emma, and all of the struggles of the day will be put so far in the past that he barely remembers them.

There’s a loud cheering coming from the TV, and Killian twists his head to look at Will running around the bases after hitting a home run.

“Damn, Scarlet,” he mutters under his breath with a smile on his face.

That smile grows a little more when the camera pans to his entire team jumping up and down in excitement, practically shaking the entire stadium. The shiver that runs over Killian’s body makes him feel like he’s there.

God, he’s missed the feeling of being a part of the team like that.

He’s missed playing.

But he’s going to get back to it soon. He has to. His arm is going to get better and be better.

Emma comes onto screen then, a beatific smile on her face that causes his to grow too. “Well,” she starts, laughing at something off screen, “it looks like we’re going to the playoffs.”

[canid-slashclaw]

The Outliers - A Guild Wars Love Story

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,  Chapters 10 and 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16 , Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20

Chapter 21

I was laying on the ground, helpless, with multiple stab wounds, several broken ribs, herniated disks in my lower back and a crushed foot. How I survived for as long as I did, I do not know. But I do know that my life was saved that day thanks to a family of humans.

They were a family of simple farmers who moonlighted as pallbearers for those who had fallen in battle. It was a father and son who first saw me. When they got to my unconscious body, they had assumed I had joined the rest in the Mists as well.

I could just barely make out the voice when the father, Eric, began poking and prodding me.

"Holy moley, dad. That's a big charr. Damn beast must'a put up a fight."

To their misfortune, my breath was still hot. "Wait a minute, son. That thing is still drawin' breath."

The father and son took me into their barn and made a makeshift bed for me to lie in. At the time I was still too out of it to even know where I was. I regained consciousness within a few days. When I did, let's just say my first interactions with them were less than hospitable.

"Hey, dad. Yuh think we can be sure those bonds are tight enough? I mean that thing looks awfully big and strong."

"Son. Our farm is on the verge of being foreclosed on. The Ebonguard will pay us a pretty penny for handing it over to them alive, especially considering its a legion officer."

"How can ya be so sure, dad?"

"Lookit the armor. Only charr officers wear that type. His intact hide will be worth a fair amount of gold."

I was finally coming around.

"Wh... where am I?"

"Humans? Bah! What's happening? Garr! My arms! Unbind me now!"

Heh. I am certain my bestial groans were more than enough to wet both their pants.

"Y... you talk?"

"Come closer and I'll tell you what I really want to say, human."

"Don't get close to him, son. He'll likely bite your face off."

I actually planned on going for the boy's skinny throat, but decided against it. The pain of a severely damaged foot persuaded me otherwise.

"We are only trying to help you, charr. If you behave nicely, we will provide your basic needs." The boy's father tried to reassure me.

"Nice is something my people aren't very good at. But killing mice like you is an entirely different matter altogether. Gah!"

My wounds were more extensive than I realized. Thus, there was little I could do but rely on their mercy even if their intentions were far from altruistic.

It was on the following day that I first saw her. She was the father's only daughter who looked to be no more than nineteen years old. Yes. I've studied humans long enough to pretty accurately tell how old they are.

Her features were delicate for a farmer's daughter. Her long, auburn hair hung past her thin waistline and her eyes were the softest blue I've ever seen in a human. In spite of her youth, she did have a mate at one time - a 'husband' humans like to call them - who had apparently been killed in a recent battle.

For the first week, she did not speak to me. However, she was responsible for changing my bedding and leaving meals for me to eat. One particular morning, I was stubbornly refusing to consume much of anything.

She stepped over me trying to coax me into nibbling on some puréed meat.

You've gotta eat something. It's been four days and you haven't touched anything we have given you." Her voiced sounded eerily soothing to me.

"Perhaps I am trying to starve myself to death. Get that crap away from me you little squeeker!" "Look. Keeping you alive is in our family's best financial interest. If you wish to be a pill and not help pay off our mortgage then I'll just have to find another way of getting you fed."

That girl poked me in a region that made even a hardened veteran like myself cringe with embarrassment. She reminded me that what went out could also go in.

"You wouldn't dare, human. Would you?"

"The hoses from the milking machine can easily be repurposed. Get my drift, furball?"

Against my pride, I acquiesced to her demands. Even though the food tasted like crap it did keep me nourished.

A month later, I was still laid up in the barn. Yet she was always there tending to my wounds and making sure my bedding was comfortable. It was during that time when she and I began conversing on more friendly terms. She told me of her husband's death as well as the pain of the loss she felt. I told her about our cubs and the two we had lost.

"So your people do not have marriages?"

"Not in the manner you humans do. Our people can commit to monogamous lifelong relationships, but such things are very uncommon."

"Do you love your mate?'

That was one question I could not honestly answer. Not that it would offend you at all, Siri.

"Briefly. But let's drop that subject, shall we?"

The girl knew she had hit a sore spot.

"I'm sorry to offend you, even if you are supposed to be nothing more than a vicious beast. At least that's what I've been taught to think of your people."

"There's more to my people than you can possibly understand, mouse. Bah! You're just a naive cub, anyway. Begone with you! I need some sleep."

In spite of my brusque demeanor, she seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me as a thinking, feeling creature.

"All this time, you never told me your name. Come to think of it, I never told you mine either. I'm Karla. Karla Longfield, what's yours?"

Reluctantly, I answered. "Crushblow... Centurion Ludrick Crushblow - Blood Legion. There now... satisfied?"

Every three days, she would replace my bindings with fresh gauze. The girl's patience with me was astounding considering how much of a hard time I had given her.

"Gah! That hurts! What are you trying to do to me, human? Torture me for information?"

"Well, if you held still while I debris those wounds, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad."

"You are just finding a legitimate excuse to torture an enemy combatant."

"Don't tempt me, charr. In fact, the next time I hear you complain, I'm going to shave the entire area around your wounds, bald! Got it?"

I growled and snarled at her and even tried to haphazardly lunge bite her, but she didn't seem to take me seriously. In fact, she gave me a hard yank on the tail. Strangely, that wound up hurting more than anything else.

The following week, some of my strength was beginning to return. However, my knee, my back and my right foot never completely healed properly, so I wound up relying on crutches to move around. Through it all, Karla was there helping me to build up the strength in my legs so I could eventually get around on my own without assistance.

Slowly, my condition started to improve. However, my progress was sidelined when I contracted a foul stomach ailment. For the next four days, just about everything I consumed exited though my other end roughly five hours after eating. When Karla found me the next morning, I was practically swimming in my own shit, but too weak to be able to cleanse myself.

"What in Lyssa's name?? My gods, that stench!"

"I'll bet you think this is funny. Just get me a bucket of some damn water, woman, so I can get myself clean."

"You can't do much of anything in your present condition."

She was right. The moment I tried to move, my guts felt like they were on fire. I was at her mercy whether I liked it or not.

Karla doused me with several buckets of cold water then began wiping down my fur with fresh linens. She paid special attention to my open sores making sure that any remaining fecal material had been cleaned out. Once she had cleaned and dried my fur, she began massaging my legs stating that it was to help with the circulation. Yet this time, there was something different in the way she massaged me, something even I felt but couldn't explain at the time.

"Karla. Why do you go out of your way to do all this for me? Tell me the real reason." That strange feeling inside of me began to grow.

"I... I don't know. It's for the money, okay? My family's farm needs the bounty from you in order for us to remain here. I've told you this before."

"I may not know human nuances or expressions that well, but even I know that you aren't telling me the whole truth. Please, tell me."

That was the first time that I can recall ever asking her 'please'.

"My father informed me a couple of days ago that he had contacted the Ebonguard. Instead of taking you prisoner outright, they decided to do a prisoner exchange with some legionnaires. Ten of our soldiers will be freed in exchange for you. This is scheduled to happen in the next three days. That is my other secret... satisfied now?"

I nodded but wasn't satisfied. She was still holding something back.

The following day was when it happened. She came into the barn with the intent of redressing my wounds and giving me my weekly cleansing. But when she entered, something about her scent smelled different. It smelt intoxicating and even erotic. I couldn't help but stare at her as the shafts of sunlight caused her long dress to turn translucent.

When I saw her small, curved form beneath those burlap garments, my body became aroused. As embarrassed I was to admit it at the time, I wanted to mate with that human.

"Okay, big fella. Time for a bath."

"No!" I shirked at the request fearing she would see my embarrassment.

I don't take no for an answer you stubborn furball! Let me get you out of those rags so I can bathe that matted fur of yours."

"Karla... please." She began peeling away my garments then worked her way towards removing my old dressings. The only thing I had left on me was a loincloth. I resisted her motion to have it removed. She, on the other hand, was undeterred.

"I need to clean you up everywhere. It's not like I haven't seen your sheathe before."

"Why are you looking at me that way?" Her gaze locked onto mine. She was - I could not believe the words that were coming to my head - beautiful. I wanted her, greatly.

"Oh. Ludrick."

My embarrassment was out. When she saw it she, at first, began massaging my inner thighs before finally working up the courage to touch that part of me that was the cause of my shame and delight.

"I never knew..." She grabbed hold of me even though it must have been painful in doing so due to my spines.

"Karla! Don't! It's not natural for you and me to do this."

"You and me. Yes. You know it to be true. You want it as much as I do! I want you!"

She pulled off her dress revealing her naked form. I had no time to react before she was upon me. My engorged member slid deeply into her canal as she winced in a crescendo of emotions.

"Ohhh. Gods!"

She moaned in sensuous pleasure and pain all at once. I knew my spines were tearing into her but my will had already given in to the desires of the flesh.

"I don't want to hurt you, Karla. My shaft was not meant for one such as you." I wrestled with the guilt that my anatomy was hurting her. Yet, she seemed to ignore the pain and focus only on the desire.

"I love you, Ludrick! I want to love you, as a woman should. Gaaahh!"

I released my fluid then waited for my member to subside before withdrawing from her. Her region was bloody from either our coupling or her monthly cycle. Which one it was, I could not tell. Perhaps it was a combination of both.

However, I swore that night that I would never hurt her in that manner again. Thus, I filed down my spines so that she would only experience pleasure from me. That is why I could never bear cubs. Once my ability to stimulate female ovulation was blunted, I had effectively become sterile.

Karla and I mated several more times that night and the following day. The only difference was I no longer was burdened with the guilt of my anatomy causing her pain. But in spite of my efforts, the greatest pain of all still remained.

"They are here to take you back, Ludrick. The soldiers will be here in the next ten minutes. I wish you didn't have to..."

"Karla... I know how you feel. I truly wish we could share our moments together longer. But a relationship such as ours would only bring pain and death if anyone were to find out about what we had between us."

She gave me what humans call a kiss on my muzzle. She also tried coaxing me into sticking my tongue into her mouth. I refused to do it as doing so might have caused her more discomfort. But the truth of the matter is, I very much wanted to do such.

"There is something I want you to have, Karla." I took one of my war medals then broke it in two, handing her one half while I kept the other.

"Keep this close to your heart and remember me. I will always wear my half close to mine. I will never forget you, Karla."

The father and son entered then helped me up. As I was heading from the barn and towards my future captors, Karla ran up to me and whispered in a voice so soft that only a charr could possibly hear.

"I will always love you, Ludrick Crushblow."

Those were the last words and the last time I ever saw her.

***

You see, Siri, inter-species love has happened before. I am living proof of that fact.

His former mate looked at him with a stare that could only be described as cathartic.

"The only living proof I see is that I am truly surrounded by a bunch of perverted sickos. Like sire; like cub, I suppose. Why should that not surprise me? And to think I was stupid enough allow you to screw me all those years," Siri said in her characteristic deadpan tone.

"You are the only soul I have ever revealed this to. Do what you will with the information, Siri. The winds of change are blowing and soon they will become a gale that even you must eventually come to terms with."

"The only things I'm coming to terms with is that if any of this gets out, I'm ruined."

"Go ahead and try to kill us, then. I promise you a fight the likes of which would make you wish you had never even been born." Ludrick quietly raged.

"I cannot kill that which is already dead. All of you are dead to me! This conversation never happened. In fact, this whole night never happened. I am done here!"

"Then you will not bring harm to the human, Kaleb?"

Siri scowled at him as she headed towards the door. "Didn't you comprehend me the first time? When I said all, I meant all! That little runt is free to defile herself with that mouse all she wants. I'm done wasting my time with any of you. Goodbye!"

Within moments, Siri Blastfuze bounded out the door and into the night without ever turning to look back. Ludrick felt a sense of relief that he had not felt in twenty years. He knew that Siri would no longer pose a threat to his beloved daughter or Kaleb.

Amalthia. You and Kaleb deserve the chance that Karla and I were never given.

(All chapters have been posted to AO3. Chapter 21 is posted here.)

[shy-marker-pliers]

The Adventures Of Eric Derekson Chapter 10 | A Conversation That Should Have Happened A While Ago And A Very Long Story Titile That’s Stating To Sound Like That Of A Fall Out Boy Song.

Warnings: none that i can think of

Relationship: Heric

Characters: Host, Eric, Bim, cameos from several other Egos

Eric was nervous. duh.

On this particular day, he was nervous because he had a big problem. A big, tall, handsome, trenchcoat-wearing problem. The Host. He had been Erics very best and closest friend (and not so secret crush) for months now. If he didn’t tell The Host how he felt sometime soon he would explode.

And therein lies the rub. because if he told The Host how he felt and got rejected, he’d never be able to talk to him again. He couldn’t take that chance, never. And so, he suffered and suffered, until one day, he couldn’t take it anymore and sought help from the manor’s self-proclaimed relationship expert.

Bim trimmer. Who was also, coincidentally, the manor’s not-so-self-proclaimed gossip hound. But Eric didn’t really know who else to go to, so there he stood, outside of Bims bedroom door.

The door flew open the second he knocked. and there stood Bim, wearing nothing but polka dotted leggings, knee high boots, and a glittery purple scarf, for some reason.

“Eric! What a pleasant surprise! Sorry for not being as put together as I usually am, but i was cleaning out my closet, which basically means that I try on everything in it and throw away what isn’t in season anymore.”

“O-Oh, i’m sorry, i didn’t know you were busy...i don’t wanna be a bother, i’ll come back another time-“

“Nonsense! a quiet lil’ cutie like you could never bother me!” Bim wrapped an arm around Eric’s shoulders and guided him into the room, which, to Eric, looked like the place where New York fashion week went to die. there were clothes of all kinds scattered everywhere. well, except for a little couch up against the wall, which was where Bim was taking him.

The gameshow host snapped his fingers. Inexplicably, the room was suddenly spotless, and he was wearing his usual attire of a three piece suit and tie.

“There. Much better.”

“But don’t you wanna finish going through your clothes...?”

“oh, I never throw away anything in my closet anyway. i’m sure if you went far enough in there you’d find some stuff from the ‘40s. Anyway, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Um...you’re t-the ‘relationship expert,’ right?”

“The one and only.”

“...Okay. B-Before I tell you anything, y-you have to promise me you won’t t-tell anybody.”

“Aww!”

“Please, Bim..?”

“Fine. You’re lucky you’re too cute to say no to.”

“T-Thank you. Now um...I kinda sorta like somebody.”

“Do tell.”

“Okay, okay...i-it might be a bit surprising, but...I-I like The Host.”

Bim snorted before hiding his face and breaking into a fit of giggles.

“Oh honey, I know. Everyone knows.”

Eric blushed immediately. “E-Everyone?”

“Well, everyone except Host at least. The poor bastard is as clueless as you are.”

“What...?”

“He likes you too. it’s so obvious. plus, he rants to me about how cute he thinks you are every damn day.”

“H-He what??”

Bim laughed even harder. “Babe, you have no idea how many of us have been internally screaming at you two to just date already.”

Eric didn’t know whether to laugh or blush or cry. In the end, he settled for putting on a big goofy grin. “S-So he likes me back!?”

“Yes, you dummy!” Bim paused and took a deep breath. “i’m sorry, that was rude. you’re not a dummy, you’re beautiful and perfect just the way you are. But you’re kinda clueless when it comes to relationship stuff.”

“I guess you’re r-right...B-But now i know he likes me back!”

Eric sprung up from his seat to head to his room, but not before giving Bim a quick hug and a “Thank you!”

He was a giggling, blushing mess the whole way back to his room. However, onece he got there, he stopped. What was he supposed to do now? if he tried to ask Host out, he’d just mess it up! he couldn’t let that happen! and knowing that The Jost likes him too was amazing, but it would definitely make their future interactions awkward. Oh god, he’d never be able to talk to Host now.

...___...

Luckily for Eric, the god of love seemed to be on his side. after hiding in his room for almost the entire day, he had changed into his favorite onesie and gotten ready for bed. However, before he could shut off the lights and snuggle up under the covers, there was a quiet knock at the door. He walked over, opening it a crack to see who was on the other side.

There stood The Host. He was fidgety and anxious, which was unprecedented in and of itself, but what really confused Eric was that he was holding what appeared to be a very tiny tree.

He opened the door all the way. “H-Host?”

“The Host apologizes for coming to Eric this late, but he wishes to speak with him about something important.”

“O-Oh, it’s no problem! I’m a-always glad to have you as c-company...” Eric went a bit pink, but he gestured for Host to come in.

The two sat next to each other on Eric’s bed. There was silence for a while, but then The Host cleared his throat and spoke.

“The Host apologizes again for coming this late, but he just couldn’t wait any longer.” He drew in a deep breath.

Host handed the little tree to Eric, who took it and looked at it curiously. “It’s a bonsai tree. The Host knows that flowers are more visually appealing, but they wither up in a few days and...Well, he just thought that it would be nice to give Eric something that he can keep and take care of.”

“Oh, thank y-you, I love it! It’s a-adorable!” Eric smiled and set the bonsai tree on his bedside table, then turned back to Host. “But why d-did you bring it to me?”

“Well, like The Host said, flowers are usually used for these types of things...”

“What...?”

“What The Host is trying to say is that he likes Eric very much, and has for a long while now. I-In a romantic sense, that is. He understands if Eric does not feel the same, but he needed to get this off of his chest.”

Host curled in on himself a bit, avoiding looking in Erics direction.

Eric, meanwhile, was blushing from the tips of his ears all the way down to his neck.

“You- You r-really didn’t know?”

“Know what?”

“I thought I was being a total obvious mess, with how I couldn’t s-stop blushing when you t-talked to me, or how I f-followed you around like a lost puppy, o-or how I, like, short-circuited whenever you smiled at me-“

Eric stopped himself from rambling. “What I mean is, I um...I like you too. A-A whole bunch.”

The Host beamed. it was by far the happiest Eric had ever seen him, and he felt a little blossom of pride at causing that happiness.

“Eric has no idea how relived The Host is right now- And he thought he was being the obvious one? The Host thought it was him!”

he laughed. Eric laughed too. Soon both of them were in fits of giggles, both from the sheer hilarity of the situation and the relief that their feelings towards each other were reciprocated. After they had calmed down, Eric asked, “So...what do we do now?”

“...In all of the romance books The Host has read, this is usually the part when the kiss happens.”

“That...t-that sounds nice.”

The Host smiled a bit. Then he moved closer to Eric and cupped his face with one hand. And finally, finally, he gave him a slow, gentle kiss on the lips.

He’d never known why authors used the description of fireworks going off to describe the feeling of a kiss, but now that it was happening to him, he was beginning to understand it. The butterflies that had been in his stomach had all flown away, leaving a fiery, almost overwhelming feeling of happiness. When Eric moved to wrap his arms around The Host and pull him closer, he couldn’t think properly. all he saw in his mind were bursts of dazzling color.

Eric felt exactly the same as Host did. It was finally happening, everything that he had been imagining for the past months was finally happening! He could barely process it all.

Host and Eric pulled away from their kiss eventually, but they stayed in their embrace. Eric rested his head against Hosts shoulder, and hestayed like that until he was nearly asleep. Host laid him down on the bed and made to leave for his own room, but Eric grabbed his hand and tugged him back.

“Stay...?”

Host couldnt say no to Eric’s big puppy dog eyes. So he took off his trenchcoat and laid down next to him, then curled up around him.

Eric barely had time to mumble a goodnight before he was asleep. Host sighed, hugging the smaller man so that he would be secure. He kissed Eric on the forehead, then he too drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

[wintersxsoul]

Fire Meets Gasoline (17)

Summary: You leave your city to start over in your best friend’s town, oblivious to the fact that you have an unexpected roommate. What will happen when fire meets gasoline?

Pairing: Loki x Female!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k-ish

Warnings: You are welcome hoes.

A/N: PLEASE READ THIS, IT’S VERY IMPORTANT. As we all know, Tumblr is not showing the posts that contain links, so I won’t be able to link the previous chapters or the masterlist. You have the link of the Masterlist on my profile and also the link to my taglist, so please check them out. I was supposed to post this last sunday since it was my birthday present for you, but I didn’t have the inspiration to. As always, I hope you enjoy.

“Y/n, I don’t want to be rude or meddle but-”

“Then don’t.” You cut Shay off. After what happened in the bookshop, Shay and Bucky offered you to stay with them for as long as you needed, thinking that you would just stay for the rest of the day, not for almost two days. You knew you were overreacting by pushing Loki away and giving him the silent treatment, even when he came to see you to talk to you but after a few tries, he decided to give you the space you needed. He stopped calling, texting and showing up, he knew for sure you would want to talk to him sooner or later.

“Well, I have to. You need to talk to him, or at least hear what he has to say.” You rolled your eyes annoyed, because you knew she was right. You began to protest but Bucky cut you off.

“Y/n, you should hear it from him but since you are being a stubborn child, I’ll tell you. He didn’t tell you because as you know, he is a very famous writer and the tabloids are always waiting to expose anything.” Bucky sighed loudly and kept talking. “When he showed up to one of our last exhibitions, there was a rumor saying we were a polyamorous relationship. He just wanted to protect you from all this.” You fell silent, the stupidity of your acts weighting on your chest. Bucky shook his head in disagreement and left the room, Shay looking at you with a huge grin plastered on her face.

“What?” You asked her raising an eyebrow fighting the urge to smile at her face.

“Do you realize you sucked your idol’s dick?” She bursted out laughing when you hit her with a pillow, her laugh making you laugh as well. After almost ten minutes laughing like maniacs, you wiped your tears and laid down on the bed, sighing while closing your eyes.

“I should really go home and talk to him, right?” Shay answered a “yup” and patted your leg, she stood up from the bed and made her way out of the room.

“You better get the fuck out of my house soon if you don’t want Bucky to murder you.” She added from the door between laughs. “He’s been trying to fuck my brains out on the kitchen counter but…” She whispered and shrugged, winking an eye at you and closing the door behind her. You shook your head and tried to control your laughter.

After you gathered your stuff, you went to the kitchen to tell Shay and Bucky you were leaving and found them in a very intense makeout session. Shay was sitting in the counter and Bucky was kissing and groping her everywhere.

“Uhm, guys I’m gonna go home. Thank you so much for everything and yeah, bye!” You didn’t even stop or waited for them to answer and bolted out of the apartment. You grabbed your phone and opened Loki’s chat, scrolling through all his messages you left on read. All of them pained you but not as much as the last one.

Loki: I know you are hurt and I played with your trust, but I want you to know that I’d never hide you from anyone and I would love to let the world know my heart is only yours. I don’t expect you to come back soon, since I know you need your time to process what I’ve done, I just hope you will try to forgive me. I am truly sorry and I hope this isn’t too broken, I really want to fix this.  

You wiped a silent tear that fell from your eyes and texted him asking if he was at home and you received and immediate response, he was waiting for you. He waited for you.

As you walked down the streets, the cold air hitting your face like sharp knives, you were thinking about how stupid you had been, leaving him like that for almost two days and not even daring to pick up the phone or answer a text. You decided it was time to call the only person that new Loki more than you did.

“Hello? Thor?”

-

After more than an hour speaking to Thor, everything seemed to be much clearer. When you told him that you were in love with Loki he just laughed, admitting that he knew what was going to happen as soon as you two really got to know each other and that it was all planned from the start. The advice he gave you was not to run away from his brother, since he also had his own traumas and bad experiences. Odin, his father, made him feel abandoned and rejected so it was very hard for him to trust that someone else wouldn’t do the same. You knew damn too well you would never do that to him, but as Thor said “Loki is not in your mind to know what you are feeling and thinking”.

You gave your cigarette a couple of more puffs and threw it away, taking a deep breath and entering the apartment building. The elevator ride was eternal, your hand sore because you couldn’t stop scratching it due to the anxiety you were feeling.

As soon as Loki heard the keys on the lock his heart sank deeper in his chest, the strong fear of remorse and rejection hitting him like a truck. He stood up and ran to the bathroom trying to fix the disaster he was. His hair was a greasy tangled mess so he combed it and made a braid, he brushed his teeth rapidly and washed his face with cold water to clear his mind. When he came out of the bathroom, he found you sitting in the couch looking at him, a sad smile on your lips. He tried his best not to run to your arms and crush you with his body so instead, he walked slowly and sat on the other side of the couch, waiting for you to make the first move.

What he would have never imagined was you throwing yourself into his arms pressing his body to yours.

“Oh god Loki, I’ve missed you so much, I am so sorry.” You cried, all the pent up emotions finally flowing out of your mind. You started rambling and mumbling unintelligible apologies while Loki just sat there, stroking gently your hair, waiting for you to calm down.

“Love, there’s nothing to forgive. I should be the one apologizing for being such a jerk. I know I should have told you as soon as we talked about our jobs. But I didn’t and then everything happened way too fast and I thought it was too late to tell you.”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but the worst one was letting you leave from that book store without an explanation.” You opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off.

“No, please. Let me finish, because if I don’t do this now, I’ll probably never be able to say it.” You nodded when you realized he was waiting for your permission so he could keep speaking.

“These past days had been like hell for me, I couldn’t eat or sleep and all I could think about was you. I’ve missed you like I’ve never missed anyone else in my life and even though I’ve known this since the first time I really saw you, I’ve realized I’m totally and crazy in love with you. There’s no one else for me, just you.” He took a deep breath and stared at you, waiting for some sort of answer in your shocked expression.

“Y/n? I’m sorry if this is too much, I just had to get it off my chest.” You really wanted to answer that you loved him too, that you felt the same way, but your voice was not coming out of your mouth, so you just pressed your head against his chest and cried again, all the new emotions overwhelming you. You managed to stop crying after a while and looked at him, ready to talk.

“I- I really thought I knew what love was. I was certain that I was in love with Eric and that he was the one. But you buried yourself so deep in my heart that now I don’t know who I even was before I met you. You’ve been there when I needed you the most and you‘ve taught me to embrace myself and my weirdness, you’ve taught me how to love and how to be loved.” You pressed your forehead against his, closing your eyes and letting the last tears run down your cheeks. Loki wiped them off and placed his hand on your cheek, stroking your skin with his thumb. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his, trying to reassure his fears and trying to make him feel all the love you had for him.

Loki deepened the kiss and you straddled him, wanting and needing to be closer to him. You broke the kiss and looked at him, finally understanding the odd look he always had when he looked at you. Love and desire.

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[lunaschild2016]

Worth Fighting For: Chapter 78 - Whataya Want From Me

A/N: Here is another chapter for you my loves. It is Friday Jai-Day....so yeah! Enjoy!

*****************************************************************************************

Disclaimer: I own naught but my own plot and the cherry bombs I toss within.

Rating M ( Language, Violence, There will be smut, Angst, Tragedy, Romance, Fluff)

@kenzieam  @pathybo  @jaihardy @every-jai@ericdauntless@beautifulramblingbrains  @bookgirlthings@jojuarez26@oddsnendsfanfics @offroadinjandals  @singingpeople@iammarylastar@irasancti @captstefanbrandt  @clublulu333@fuckthatfeeling@tigpooh67 @ex-bookjunky  @jughead-wuz-here@badassbaker@beanzjellly @beltz2016 @meganbee15 @affabletimelady@scorpio2009@gylisaa @geekybeyondallreason@violetsonthelam@kyloswarstars@emmysrandomthoughts @kgurew @beltzboys2015-blog@slytherin-princess-25273 @whatwouldbuffydo666 @jaiboomer11@holamor@wealwayskeepfighting  

**I promise I have put the read more option in but it has been glitching. If I have forgotten someone or you want to be removed please message me!**

Chapter 78 - Whataya Want from Me

 Eric

I tossed the empty bottle into the almost overflowing box of empties and scowled into the fridge when I saw that I was completely out of replacements. I slammed the door to the fridge and looked through my cabinets for anything with alcohol in it but I already knew I was going to come up empty.

In the...two...three…. however many days ago since my blow up with Kat, I had consumed everything I had that could possibly drown out the feelings I was experiencing. The boozy apple cider I had shared with her was the first to go.

I huffed and looked around the apartment with a scowl then grimaced at the state of it. The table was littered with paperwork and other stuff for work because I refused to leave the apartment and had set up a temporary office here. The living room is a mess of clothes and bedding that I dragged to the couch since I refused to sleep in the bed.

Chase’s crap from when he had kept me company on the first night was still laying on the couch he slept on even though he had left me, unable to put up with the abuse I was throwing his way. Zach had given me a dirty look when he had come by to drop off some files Jeanine was requesting me to look at that I had left behind in my office. He didn’t say anything but he didn’t stick around either, hadn’t even come back once in that time either.

Things were a mess and I knew it was all my fault but I couldn’t figure out how the fuck to get out of it.

Everything had been fucking perfect right up until I had been called away for a meeting with Jeanine in Erudite the morning Kat and the others were going to pick out their jobs. The entire day before that had been spent with Kat alternating between the bedroom or on the couch and not all of it had been us having sex, although that had happened a good bit. We had spent time watching things I had mentioned before or she found when browsing through my collection and lounging on the couch, talking, eating the meals or snacks I made for us and letting her catch up on the sleep she had been missing out on.

I had talked to her about what to expect over the next few weeks and what job she was hoping to be offered. I knew she was wanting leadership and I also knew that both her and her sister would be offered the position. Max had already told me privately that he and Raze would be handling Kat and Tris’ meetings so that there could be no chance of one of the other leaders or anyone else saying I had shown favoritism or tried to influence her decision in any way. I understood and was grateful that I could at least be there.

Or so I had thought.

I had been ignoring the messages from both Jeanine and Damon that started before they even really got away from the compound. My brother had been the one to accompany Jeanine during the final test, glued to her ass as he always is. When I didn’t respond they had started to bother Max and there was only so much the older man could take.

That morning, Kat had surprised me and made breakfast for the two of us by slipping out of bed and getting it started. I had woken in a panic that she wasn’t in my arms until I heard her in the kitchen. She had shrugged with a smile when I teased her about her supposed kitchen strike, then blushing sent me off to get a shower. We knew when my phone was going off constantly that my plans were going to change. We had eaten then met up with Peter, Zach, and Chase before I went my own way.

Jeanine wanted a face to face and a vid conference call wasn’t going to hack it. James got sent with me and we headed to Erudite. She made it clear she expected me to deliver Kat and Tris no matter what Max and the other leaders were saying. I had been hard pressed to keep my cool. The two of them, Jeanine and Damon, had been alternating between being demanding and their manipulations. By the time I was able to get out of there, close to dinner time, I was beyond furious. Maybe I was also feeling something from them getting their claws into me but I can’t use that as all of the excuses for what I did. I came back to Dauntless, expecting to get my last meeting with Max and the others over with, then being able to go home to Kat only to get to that meeting and find all that blown to hell.

Kat had taken the leadership position like we had talked about, but she had also taken an apartment with Lynn. Which is nothing like we had talked about at all.

I lost it.

I went storming through Dauntless until I found her in the dining hall. I had been hell bent on dragging her to housing and getting it sorted out because there was no way she was going to be anywhere but with me. It was all a fucked-up mess. She had been yelling at me, I was yelling at her. I vaguely heard Zach trying to get us both to calm down and mediate like he always did but it was too late.

I lashed out and said something that ended things right there. I don’t remember the exact words I even said to her. All I knew was I was hurt, angry and feeling like she was rejecting me. So, I struck out at her with words I knew would make her feel just as bad if not worse. Accused her of being exactly the thing I had been told she was and that she had bought her position with lies and her body.

She didn’t even respond. Just looked at me and I saw her closing every emotion off before she turned and walked away. I started to go after her when what I had done hit me but Chase stopped me, saying I was just going to make it worse and I would have. In fact, I did make it worse because I didn’t stop at lashing out at Kat. No, I decided to accuse Chase of wanting to use this as his chance to get with Kat. That he had just been waiting for me to fuck up and had even let me do it so that he could move in.

I realized fairly early after Chase had stormed out of the apartment that I was just royally screwing things up everywhere but I have no clue how to make things right. He even took all of her shit to her that morning and I haven’t seen or heard anything about her since. I knew as soon as I said what I did that I ended things with Kat. I saw it in her eyes and it was what I had intended in my pain. I wanted to end things on my terms, or so I told myself if that was where it was heading.

I throw myself on my couch and sigh wearily, closing my eyes. I need to do something. Make it right and not just sit in here festering, trying to drink it all away. I just don’t know what the fuck to do. Sitting here in the apartment, closed off, isn’t doing anything for me but it is fear that is holding me back. Fear that I fucked things up too bad this time to make it right.

Deep down I know that if I called Chase or Zach up they would help me no matter how disgusted with me they are. They know how destructive I can be and have been there to help me in the past. Then again, in the past, I had never hurt someone we all cared about like Kat.

So, what do I do? Where do I start or is it too late?

I think I pass out from sheer exhaustion and the amount of booze in my system because I jerk awake to the pounding on my door and a deep voice telling me to open the fuck up.

I stumble to my feet and to the door. Bumping into the coffee table and tripping on the shit on the ground in the process. It is pitch black inside my apartment letting me know that it has to be deep into the night outside. I finally get to the door and fumble with the locks. My mind is so out of commission I don’t even think to flip on a fucking light switch.

When I finally get the door wrenched open, I squint against the light pouring in from the hallway. It isn’t even that bright but it is enough to irritate my eyes.

“Jesus fuck, you look and smell like shit, Coulter.”

I blink and stumble as I am pushed to the side when the intruder, whose name I know but am having trouble producing, barges into the apartment. Light is suddenly filling the room and blinding me.

“What the fuck, Raze.” I croak and shield my eyes with my hand as I let the door slam shut.

“Damn boy. You are deep in it.” The older Dauntless man looks around the shit hole my apartment has become, shaking his head.

I scowl and make my way to the couch then flop down. “No, come on in,” I mutter sarcastically and sweep my arm out. “Make yourself at home.”

I don’t know what I expect him to do because I don’t have the first clue why this man should be at my place. Regardless, his shrugging and clearing of a space on the other couch takes me by surprise.

“What are you doing here?” I blurt out in a voice thick with the rawness of being unused and the slur of still being fairly drunk.

“What am I doing here?” He repeats and I crack my eyes open, that I had shut against the light, to see him half asking himself the same question as he looks around. “I guess trying to figure out what the hell you are doing here. I didn’t figure you for a quitter. Isn’t that your motto? Dauntless don’t give up.”

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“Nothing you’re in a condition to be able to get right now.” He gives a sigh and scratches the back of his neck and grimaces. “You and this place stink something bad. So, here is what you are going to do. Take yourself to your bathroom and get cleaned up. I’ll work on out here.”

I don’t know how it happened but before I know it I am standing in my shower under the spray of water. I think maybe it was the command. Being Dauntless for all these years has my mind trained and it must have felt grateful for something it could fucking handle other than this shit I have been struggling with over the last few days.

I let the scalding spray of the shower pound against my head, as I brace myself against the tiled wall with both hands. It is painful standing there and not just from the temperature of the water. The longer I stand under it, the clearer my head becomes and the more the memories of what happened to invade. Bringing up every single one of the feelings I had worked so hard to drown out.

 I sigh and turn my back to the water and let it do its work on that part of me while I run a hand through my tangled, matted mess of hair then run it down my face where I find a significant amount of hair growth there. While I am disgusted with my findings I am also grateful. It gives me something to do and focus on. I can push aside all the other crap I am unable to process at the moment and focus on what I can do to fix my immediate situation.

 I do get flashes though that halt that progress. Flashes of Kat and me in the shower and how she loved it when I let her wash my hair for me. How she would smile and let the curls I gel out normally, wrap around her fingers. The scent of her shampoo overwhelms me and I realize I grabbed it instead of my own, so lost in the fantasy of all those times I massaged it into her hair.

 Her voice floats in my mind as I remember the first time she showered here after her fight and being hurt so badly during it. How she had joked with me about using all the hot water in Dauntless. I close my eyes and call up the image of her sitting on my bathroom counter. She had been so brave to be there, half-clothed in front of someone she barely knew. How insecure she had been about herself and I didn’t know it because I had my own insecurities. Still, she had trusted me, reassured me of this.

 “I really do trust you, Eric. I’m sorry if you didn’t believe me earlier.”

 Her eyes burn into me with their sincerity. There are no manipulations. No expectations. Just honest and pure trust. I smile at her and nod, a lump forming in my throat and she smiles back at me. The worry that had been in her expression smoothing away and she returns my smile with a beaming one of her own. I will myself to say something to her, anything to let her know that means something to me.

 “That’s a start, Kat. Thank you.”

 From the start, she had believed in me in ways no one else ever had. In ways I hadn’t known I needed until she came along. Time and again she has told me this but she has also backed that up by showing me.

 What had I done to repay that?

 I couldn’t even begin to say how long it took me just to get myself cleaned up, but when I had finally gotten my face shaved as well as my hair back into my preferred length and style, I almost expected Raze to be gone. That maybe I had hallucinated the man even being here in the first place. Except, why would he be the one I hallucinate about?

 I walk out into the living room area to find the disaster I had left it to be gone. It is almost back to the spotless and ordered place I like to keep it. There is a bag of gathered laundry near the door as well as a few bags of trash but otherwise, it looks pretty good.

 “You’re going to need to get maintenance in here to patch up the bad renovation attempts you made.” Raze says in a dry and sarcastic tone from my kitchen.

 I scowl at the walls and the holes in them, then at his back where it seems he has just made himself at home. I smell food cooking and coffee brewing. My stomach gurgles and I realize it is probably days since I have had anything proper to eat.

 “Lovely,” I mutter and rifle through my cabinet for some aspirin then toss them back and down some water from the tap.

 I eye him and what he is making at the stove then realize he isn’t going to talk until he is ready. I grumble under my breath as I pour myself some coffee and slide into a chair at the table. When I am there, I realize I went to the same seat I started to go to since Kat came along. It doesn’t feel right without her here, so I get up and change seats then occupy myself with cleaning up the table and putting all the work crap away. I didn’t really get much of it done anyways.

 Finally, Raze has finished and sets two plates on the table. I give a sort of grunted thank you, scowling but don’t touch the food for the first bit. I just eye him and will him to get it over with.

 “Is eggs and bacon too simple for an Erudite or something?” He asks me after he has swallowed a mouthful.

 “No.” I snap out. “And I’m not Erudite.” I hunch over the plate and shove a forkful of eggs into my mouth then give him a look that I know is rather childish, asking him with my expression if he is happy now.

 He smirks and chuckles at me. “I’ll hold off my final decision on that until after.”

 I squint but don’t bother to rise to the bait. The minute the food hit my taste buds I felt the lack of food in how my stomach cramped and begged for more. I set myself to giving it what it needed and we ate in quiet.

 When my fork had scraped against the plate for the last time coming up empty, I let it clink back down and looked over at the man sitting across from me. His hands are steepled in front of him with his elbows on the table. His expression is one of amusement but also intense study. I hate both of those and how they make me want to shift, squirm, and how unsettled I am feeling right now. I pick up my coffee and sip with my eyebrow raised, taunting him to say something. To be the one to give first.

 Finally, when he speaks I am caught by surprise by what he leads in with.

 “What do you know about the day Kat encountered the factionless when she was younger?” It was a demand but it didn’t have any of the usual gruffness or edge to it. There was a solemnity to the demand that had me pause.

 “I know that Marcus sent the factionless men after the girls. The way she described it, if she hadn’t thought to send Tris after one our guys and held them off enough for her sister to get away, they would have probably been able to follow through with that.”

 He frowned but nodded. “What else?”

 “Kat saw one of our patrolmen was about to be attacked from the side by a guy with a knife that had been hiding. She launched herself after him and she thinks she somehow managed to stab him. She was fuzzy on what happened after and I couldn’t find the reports on it but she was shot by someone in Dauntless.”

 “There weren’t any reports because Andrew Prior arranged for them not to be made at the request of his wife.” He said with his face going a little hard. “She couldn’t get them to change their vote to pull the Dauntless out but she was able to point out that without our faction her girls would be dead or worse. She didn’t want anyone to be punished for something she knew was just bad circumstances.”

 I am scowling at this revelation. “Why would she do that and how would you know this?”

 I have a suspicion that is bubbling in my still muddled mind. One that is telling me I am looking at the man that pulled the trigger on my girl.

 “I know because Nat told me herself when she tried to reassure me that it wasn’t my fault her daughter, and my goddaughter was almost killed. No, I didn’t pull the trigger but the patrol was under my command. A command I had been called away from on that day, something I have questioned every day since. It was also what drove me to take leadership finally.”

 I sat processing this information, almost unable to, and sipped on my coffee to help the process along. Finally, I cleared my throat and started with the questions I have.

 “You said you are their godfather? What does that even mean and why doesn’t it seem like they know about it?”

 “It isn’t something done in Dauntless but is common in Abnegation and even Amity. It is an honorary title with religious ties to it but for my relationship with Kat and Tris, Natalie asked for it to also be made into a legal one. So, if anything were to have happened to Natalie and Andrew they arranged with it to be filed in Candor that the girls would come to Dauntless and be under the guardianship of myself and one other person Natalie has a relationship with and trusts.”

 “Who is the other person, and again, why doesn’t Kat know about this?” I demand as he stopped, lifted his cup to his mouth and sipped his coffee.

 “The other person is Hana Pedrad. I am sure you can figure out by now that Natalie was Dauntless before she transferred to Abnegation. Nate and Hana Pedrad, Max, Natalie, and myself all knew each other. Were good friends even. I was a few years younger than Max and Nate and was closer to Nat and Hana. As for why the girls were never told, that was at the request of Andrew.” He frowns heavily at this last part and I get there is more to the story and I want to know what.

 “Why?” I ask simply instead.

 He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “When they made the request from Hana and me, then had it filed in secret at Candor, the girls were already six and seven years old. They were also already obviously showing signs they weren’t meant for Abnegation. Andrew felt that if they knew about our being their godparents, it would only strengthen that. That he would lose his daughters somehow. We didn’t like it but I respected it. He’s their father and just wanted to keep his girls safe and with him. I could understand that.”

 “So, your sudden interest of what I was doing with Kat?” I ask out loud, putting it all together. His protectiveness that seemed to be so sudden and deep for just meeting Kat and Tris, was making so much sense now.

 He chuckled deeply. “It wasn’t sudden. I had been watching carefully but there was a lot I missed while I was in Amity and doing the damn wall and fence maintenance checks. It had to be done even though I knew it was around the time the girls were choosing. There hadn’t been a doubt from me they would be coming to Dauntless and Natalie had even gotten a message to me telling me that she was predicting it as well.”

 “Did you know about all the other crap if you were watching her so closely?” As soon as I ask the question I am cursing myself because it is an idiotic one and coming from a place of jealousy. I clearly remember the look on his face when we had gotten to the dorm and found Al with the knife at Kat’s throat. I also remember when he was filled in on what the investigation had been about and what was discovered. I hadn’t understood then but I do now that what I saw was the guilt and pain of someone that felt like a father to Kat.

 He glares at me and sucks his teeth as he grips his cup of coffee just a little bit tighter. “Gonna let that go and put it down you talkin’ out of your ass from all the shit you been drinkin’.”

 I look away, swallow and nod once before looking back.

 “I get it, you care for her. You are protecting her. So why are you here now?” I mutter looking at my cup of coffee.

 “I don’t like you much and probably never will but I can see you care for her too. I might even go so far as to say you feel much more than that. I know she feels the same way, though fuck if I know what she sees in you. I can also see that…” He stops at my glare at him and disregards it as he continues, “...you two are good for each other. It doesn’t take an Erudite brain to see that you and your friends were there for her. Helping her to deal with the shit that bastard has done and getting her to see that she didn’t need to deal with it alone. ‘Cause she would have kept it to herself and made it her personal mission to deal with it if not for it being brought to light.”

 I nod in agreement and sigh internally at that. I always had it in my mind that if it had never come up in her sims or if Zach, Chase and I hadn’t pushed or even been there to get to know her, she would have done just that. She would have made her mission and carried the weight of it herself, not ever telling anyone because she still would have been trying to protect others from getting involved and hurt.

 “You aren’t wrong about that. She carries all that guilt thinking she is the cause of it all. It’s better but still there.” I inform him brokenly.

 I can see this admission affects the man. He clears his throat and looks away for a moment and sighs. “Anyways, to why I am here at ass late in the night and cleaning up after your broke down butt. You’re fuckin’ it up, Coulter.” He grins that wicked grin, daring me when I start to raise out of my seat. “Sit your ass down and listen before you buck up at me. Believe it or not, I’m tryin’ to help you. Now, I can understand taking a step back so you don’t mess shit up even more but you are giving that girl time to stew. To come up with all kinds of shit in her mind that she will start to put down as fact. I know her mom and how her mind worked and how stubborn she could be, her daughters aren’t that far off. I don’t know what you said to her because I wasn’t there and she isn’t talking. Neither are her or your friends. I know she is hurting. So, what the hell did you do to the girl? Maybe I can help you navigate the landmine you seem to have landed yourself in.”

 I sit there in silence, alternating between wanting to tell him to piss off and desperately wanting to latch onto anything that might help me fix this. Is my pride stronger than my desire to fix this? Is it worth it to open myself even just a little bit to this man, someone I don’t know from Adam, to get advice that might not even make a bit of difference in the end?

 I think back to the earlier and all my thoughts, the flashbacks of Kat. I think back to how I felt before she ever came to my life and the first time I held her. I think about the pain even the thought of losing that causes and I know, pride be damned. I would probably sell my soul to the devil himself to get Kat back.

 He settles back in his chair, relaxing as if he knows what I have decided and is getting ready for a long one. He isn’t wrong. Then I start to do something I haven’t done with anyone but Chase, Zach, and Kat.

 I talk about my feelings, my past and...my fears.

 *************************************************************************************************************

 “Eric,” Max greets me as I step into the conference room. He is trying to be casual about eyeing me over and not making a big deal about the fact that I drug myself into work instead of trying another half-ass excuse about being under the weather and needing to confine myself to my apartment for the well-being of the others.

 That was the message I had sent to him in a very drunken stupor by way of trying to explain why I wouldn’t be working from my office. Drunk me thinks he is slick as hell apparently. I nod in greeting to him knowing I still look rough. It is the morning after Raze showed up at my door and I have had all of maybe two hours of real sleep.

 The man himself sits in a chair across from the table from me looking fresh in comparison. Then again, he hadn’t been on a major bender for several days so a few hours loss of sleep for him isn’t going to show quite as much. He nods to me and turns away but I don’t take offense to it. I made a promise to him I wouldn’t tell either Kat or Tris about his relationship with them, he wanted to do that on his own.

  I think I get the man now and even admire him. I have a better sense of what side he would fall on in the case of moving us away from Erudite. I know out of the other leaders he is one I can say with certainty I could trust. If only because of his relationship with Kat and Tris as well as their parents but it isn’t just because of that. We didn’t get into details about divergents or any of that mess. I might have given him a rundown on losing my parents and my messed-up relationship with my brother as well as the influence of a certain unnamed person, but I didn’t go into that part of what is going on. I might soon, but not yet.

 For now, I am still thinking over our talk and his advice. Starting out with getting out of my own misery and back to work. Tomorrow, all the new members will start their new positions. Raze already prepared me for the fact that Kat would be working with him. It had been decided before the personal breakdown of my relationship with her. I didn’t like it and he knew that was coming but after I calmed down I saw this was better.

 First, being under Raze meant that most of her interactions with other factions would be primarily the ones he had dealings with. That was mainly Amity but he also dealt with Candor to keep up the security and manpower at the Justice Center Annex of Candor. That was where those that had committed crimes were kept to serve out their sentences but also were where any executions were carried out.

She would still need to receive some training for the other factions and there would be some shadowing of meetings at those factions along with the tour of the departments we deal with but it could be arranged that she would do those along with the others that would need to get that same training. This would limit her interaction at Erudite and Jeanine.

 Second was the fact that I know Kat would want to find her own identity as a leader and in the faction. One of the main reasons I had for holding myself back from her in the first place had been the fear that she would suffer the same prejudice and gossip my own rise as leader had been under. Working directly under me or with me could fuel the gossips about how exactly Kat got her position. I couldn’t let that happen.

  Raze’s advice to me wasn’t anything I didn’t already know and had resolved to do for and with her. I had told her that I didn’t want to change her or control her but I had been doing just that with assuming she was going to live with me. I hadn’t asked her once but just knew it was a given. That was the first mistake and the breakdown in what I had always said we needed to do, keep talking to each other. It wasn’t like there hadn’t been an opportunity to talk to her about that. It was like I had almost skipped the part of telling her about choosing housing on purpose. I could only blame that on my insecurity. By skipping over that I didn’t have to face that insecurity and admitting it to her.

 The other advice he had for me, was to let her have her say when I finally do talk to her and to accept whatever decision or decisions she has made. I don’t know if I can follow that last bit. Not if it means the end of us.

 What I can and will do is bide my time. I won’t let it be the end of everything. I might have to prove myself to her, earn her trust again, show her I value it and won’t throw it away again.

 Right now, there is work to do. I said I wanted to make this faction what it should be and I needed her by my side for that. Tomorrow, that phase begins and I will make sure the faction is ready.

 I just hope that by allowing so much time while I was figuring things out, that she hasn’t given up on me.

 *************************************************************************************************************

 Lunchtime rolls around and I am still in my office catching up on work that had been shoved to the side over the last few days. I am keeping myself busy and getting this knocked out so I don’t jump the gun and go try and find Kat right now. It isn’t the time. I can reach out to the other people important to me and that I cut out during my own meltdown.

 The knock on my door lets me know that one if not both of my friends accepted my invite to join me in the office for lunch. I clear my throat and hate the discomfort I am feeling, the nerves, in regards to this meeting.

 Chase comes in first, face set in stone and not showing anything. Zach follows close behind him and is the more open. He always is. I see strain there, maybe even a little relief that I contacted them. He has to see that it was a good sign I made the first gesture.

 I motion to the bags I have on the desk. I ordered some food from one of the delis for us and had one of the guys in my department to get it. “I ordered from that place beside the commissary.”

 Zach gives me a side smile after mumbling thanks while Chase just crosses his arms over his chest and remains sitting. Not reaching for a bag at all. Zach elbows him and gives him a pointed look.

 “What? Just because he finally swam of the shithole of self-pity and bought lunch doesn’t make it alright.” He snaps over to Zach, the only sign of his true feeling or state of emotions.

 Zach starts to speak up but I stop him. I already expected this. I knew Chase would be the harder to convince and make it up to. “I don’t expect a few sandwiches to make things ok, Chase. It gave me an opening to get you both here though.” I sigh and rub the back of my neck and slump back into my chair. “It’s not an excuse and it doesn’t excuse things I said, but I let them get to me again. Me turning up in Kat’s fear landscape, they put things together that at least I was important enough to Kat that I turned up. I don’t think they knew for sure my own involvement or feelings but they used it like they did.”

 I stop and look away, swallowing and frowning at the wall. “I was deep in my own head and when I got here to find out she had taken the apartment, it just hit the nerve they had been working on.”

 I shrug and look back at them. Chase has lessened the stone expression but I know he still wants and needs more. I think for him he won’t be ok until he knows Kat is. It’s how I would be and even then, if it was anyone other than Chase or Zach that had hurt Kat, I wouldn’t be so quick to forgive.

 Zach has his typical, open to hearing me out and wanting to know more, expression. The one I don’t need him to vocalize the question he was wondering what exactly they said.

 “They twisted how she handled the fear around. You guys remember me showing you that she basically questioned the order from Jeanine but followed it when Max gave it instead?”

 “They said she turned on you easily there so she would do it in real life. That it was showing her real colors.” Chase states blandly and in a matter of fact tone. Surprisingly for me, this summation of exactly what happened came from Chase and not Zach. He sighs and runs a hand over his face. “That was probably after spending an hour bringing up past shit with your parents and how easily they trusted before. Am I right?”

 I can only nod because that is exactly right. He looks at Zach a look who is almost smug with an ‘I told you so’ side smile.

 “So, when I get here and I find out she took the apartment, all I could see was that she didn’t want me and it had all been me being played.” I stop and shake my head because that isn’t all of it and I need to be honest. “That isn’t all of why I reacted how I did. I knew I was lashing out at her, hurting her purposely and there is a part of me that just wanted her to hate me. If she hated me then she could get over me and move on and be with someone that deserves her. Someone that wouldn’t be so messed up and broken that I can let something people say, people who mean nothing to me, cause me to hurt the ones that I do care about. To drive away the person I see in my mind as the better man for her because there isn’t a chance he would have let something like that happen to him.”

 The silence is heavy between us then Chase lets out a long dramatic sigh, rolling his eyes and reaches for the sandwich in one of the bags. “Fine. I’m a slut and can be bought with food.” He mutters and unwraps it with a flourish.

 Zach tosses me my own and nods to the food and me. Inside I am relieved that at least one person has forgiven me for my crap. But the three of us know that for me the real person I am wanting to make things right with won’t be so easily done.

 We eat a little before I take a breath and ask the question I have been wanting to ask from the moment they entered. “So, how is she?”

 They look between each other and Chase answers with a shrug. “Not great but not bad now. The first night…” He swallows and shakes his head, “...it wasn’t so good especially after Tris.”

 I scowl and look at the two of them. “What does that mean?”

 Zach sighs and puts his food down. “While I was getting her away from you and Chase was getting you away from her, Tris confronted her. It was pretty obvious when you came into the dining hall and the way you pulled her against your chest then dragged her out that there is something between the two of you. Lynn said that Four and Tris started having a hushed bickering match before she pushed him away from her and went after you two. She didn’t know what they were saying exactly but she did hear Four tell Tris not to get in the middle of it.”

 My eyebrows raised at this and I looked at Zach skeptically. He shrugged and continued on. “I’m not saying he was defending you or taking your side, I’m just telling you what she heard. Anyways, Tris and Kat got into their own confrontation. They both said some stuff to each other and I could tell Kat was about to just have a full-on meltdown and that she was going to hate herself for it after. I got her to the new apartment. Lynn took over but told me she shut herself in the room and cried until she passed out.”

 “Fuck.” I croak out and I can feel pain radiating through me. “Goddammit.” I bury my head in my hands.

 “But hey,” Chase says and the amusement in his voice has me looking up at him in disbelief, “At least you weren’t the only idiot that managed to royally fuck up because Four seems to have followed you into the doghouse just hours later.”

 He looks like way too cheery of an asshole right now as he takes a big bite of his sandwich and Zach slaps him on the back of his head. My lips twitch a little at the ensuing argument that happens between them and I shake my head.

 “Hey Abbott and Costello, want to finish telling me what has been going on? Or do you want to keep rolling with this little comedy routine?”

 The rest of lunch is spent with them telling me a rundown of what happened. They aren’t for sure what caused the break up with Tris and Four or if they are done for sure but neither have seen Four either. Zach got the feeling from things the girls have said to each other that it boiled down to how long and how much Four kept from her. I felt better that it seemed like the sisters were not only over whatever happened between them but that they were also stronger.

 When lunch was done, Chase headed back to control and his own office. Zach stuck around for a few minutes longer and looked at me before he headed out of the door.

 “Are you going to demand her to move in with you?” There is a warning in his tone and I get what he is trying to caution me about.

 I shake my head. “I’m not going to demand anything from her, Zach. I don’t have the right but I also know that isn’t how it should be. I might not have the playbook on how this relationship should work. I can’t promise I am not going to fuck it up again but I can hope I won’t make the same mistakes.”

 He smiles at me and nods. “That’s a start. Good luck.”

 Luck. I don’t need luck, more like I need a damn Hail Mary.

 *************************************************************************************************************

 “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me,” I mutter and let my head fall back a little but I still keep walking forward.

 I scowl just as hard as the person approaching from the opposite direction. I am in the corridor that Lynn and Kat’s apartment is on and when I am steps away from it, Four is doing the same thing from the other side.

 We stop a good few paces from one another, staring each other down.

 “Eric.” He says in a strained tone. It sounds like an accusation rather than a greeting.

 I snort and look him over. He looks rough as hell. A smile spreads across my face as the thought hits me that he must feel worse than he looks if he is showing anything at all. His eyes narrow and his fists clenched at his side. I roll my eyes and let the smile drop.

 “You’re looking about how I feel, stiff. Which means you probably feel even worse than me.” I can’t help the smug tone I have at that.

 Four just shakes his head and sighs tiredly. “Are you ever not an asshole, Eric?”

 I nod slowly. “Sure. With those people I give a shit to not be a dick too. You aren’t on that list.” I shrug and wait. I don’t know what I am doing here other than kicking a man when he is down. It doesn’t even feel as satisfying as I thought it would or as it would have in the past.

 “Whatever, just forget it. I don’t know why I even try.” He muttered and stepped forward.

 I scoffed and stepped forward too. “When have you tried?”

 “I said forget it.” He snapped at me. “I don’t know why the hell it was you she picked but if I have anything to say…”

 I step forward and eye him menacingly. “You don’t have anything to say about it, Four.” I scoff at him then close my eyes and coach myself to cool down. “Trust me when I say that trying to control Kat, fuck either of them, is not the way to go. That has been her issue with you this entire time. One of them anyways.” I mutter the last part darkly and feel a little pleasure at the flash of guilt in his eyes.

 “What do you know about either of them?” His chin raises in defiance.

 “Just because you have technically known Kat longer doesn’t mean you know her. I know because she talked to me, Four. Despite what you might think, or what you do yourself, I listened.”

 A smug smile crosses his face and I know he is going to come back with something to just piss me off so I step forward and cut him off. “I don’t want to hear whatever insult you were about to hurl. I don’t have to like you or want to even talk to you but for her sake, I will at least learn how to ignore your annoying ass.”

 I face the door and stare at it. Taking a breath and wishing that the person next to me would disappear. I don’t need him to see that damn door being slammed in my face.

 “Why did you cover for me?” The quiet question from beside me confuses me for a moment.

 I whip my head to look at him and all traces of animosity are gone. There is genuine curiosity there.

 “Why do you think I covered for you?” I answer his question with one of my own, not wanting to actually admit I did anything of the kind.

 He gives a small smile before it drops. “The same reason I covered for you.”

 It is so fucking weird how I understand this person, who I have hated for so long, without the actual words being said. He covered for me at the factionless attack, when I showed my feelings for the first time in how I reacted to Kat being shot. I covered for him when he took out his own father.

 For both of us, it was all for her sake.

 I give a nod of understanding and he returns it and looks like he is going to say something but doesn’t get the chance. The door to the apartment whips open and our heads snap around to face it.

 “See, I told you I wasn’t hearing the ghosts of Christmas past.” Lynn stands there with her hand on the door, holding it wide open. While Tris and Kat stand further into the apartment with wide eyes, their hands clinging together tightly.

 Their eyes are darting between the two of us in rapid succession and confusion. There is a really uncomfortable silence and ridiculousness to the situation but I can’t for the life of me think of a way to move past it smoothly.

 “Come on, Tweddle dum and Tweddle dee. You’re letting all the flies in.” Lynn says with a smirk and motions us to enter with her head.

 I move as if on autopilot with the heading set straight for Kat. I can’t tell what she is thinking or feeling and if I weren’t so damn good about hiding my feelings, I am sure I would look as scared as I feel.

 I get through the doorway and hear the door clicking behind me. I have a foot in the door but whatever happens now is all up to me.

[storyofmischief]

Chapter 1: Friendship

Chapter 2

Raindrops fell from the night sky which was pitch black, only illuminated every now and then by the crescent moon that peaked out from between the clouds.

I was sitting on a large windowsill in my dorm room that I shared with four other girls.

The room was engulfed in silence and darkness, except for a small candle that I had lit. For some reason, I just couldn’t sleep tonight.

The four other girls were out cold after we had spend the whole day at hogsmead, but for some reason my mind just wouldn’t let me sleep, no matter how tired I was. My thoughts kept on drifting to what had happened these past few months. ____________________________________________

“James Potter you absolute twat!” I yelled while chasing after him.

He was sprinting up the moving stairs to our common room and to his luck the stairs started changing their directions, just when he reached the ledge.

I was now left on said stairs, huffing and panting while cursing him out under my breath.

Other students looked at us bewildered, amused or slightly annoyed at our antics, but I couldn’t care less.

That dickhead just made me swallow my mandrake leaf and now I had to start over again.

It didn’t really matter that much, since Peter and Sirius had also screwed up and we planed on waiting for them either way, but I only had three days left with this annoying leaf in my mouth, before we could continue with the next step to become animagi.

It would’ve meant that I could’ve at least skipped that step, while the others repeated it, but now I had another month coming, with this stupid leaf stuck in my mouth.

The process of becoming an animagus was terribly annoying and elaborate but we all took it upon ourselves for our best friend Remus and also partly because turning into an animal willingly is “kinda really wicked”, as Sirius put it.

That idiot swallowed his mandrake leaf when he was snogging Marlene, another good friend of mine, after the last celebration party in our common room.

He and James, along with the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, had won against Hufflepuff and that had to be celebrated...obviously.

Peter screwed up after a particularly bad Potions lesson. Slughorn was to begin with never really fond of him, not that Slughorn was the kind of teacher to harass or belittle a student, but he did never get his name right and Peter never excelled in any of his lessons.

So when we were brewing the ageing potion in our last lesson, Peter had put the Antimony in his potion at just a few degrees too low, which, as an end result, did not age the plant he was testing it on, but rejuvenated it.

Professor Slughorn was not impressed by this and had not only told “Pete” that he had to take remedial potions classes, but also that he had to write a three parchments long essay about the ageing potion.

After that Peter was so bummed, that at lunch break, he looked for comfort in his large meal and just as he was about to dive into his dessert, a big bowl of chocolate pudding, he swallowed his mandrake leaf.

His day was completely ruined after that to say the least and he would’ve buried himself inside his bed for the rest of the school year, if we hadn’t cheered him up and ensured him that we would wait for him with the rest of the preparations to become animagi. ________________

Still fuming I stepped inside the Gryffindor common room and was greeted by a laughing Sirius, a grinning James and Remus who was chuckling slightly.

“You think this is funny, Potter?” I asked him, frowning a bit and taking a seat next to Remus on the couch.

“Oh come on, we have to restart this anyways. Besides, I will forever be thankful that you spit that leaf right into Mulcibers pig face.”, he said while holding back his laughter.

“Well, I take it then that you owe me one.” I turned to face him, smiling sweetly yet menacingly.

“Still, I would’ve preferred it, if I didn’t have to do this again. That damn leaf made enjoying a meal nearly impossible. No matter what you ate, in the end it always tasted.. leafy..I guess.” I grimaced slightly. Remus beside me chuckled but didn’t glance up from his book.

“Actually, I thought about that.” Sirius spoke up, looking at me and James. “What if we charm the leaf to stay put right under our tongues. That would make it a lot easier to eat, drink and… you know..” he said, leaving the last part of his sentence unspoken while winking at us and wiggling his eyebrows.

James snorted and I hold back a laugh.

“Only you could think of something so brilliant, for such a stupid reason.” Remus uttered slightly embarrassed.

I glanced at him, his cheeks tinted slightly red, wondering if it was because the fire illuminated his face, or if he was actually blushing. I rose an eyebrow at him and his eyes met mine for a few seconds, before he averted his gaze back to his book, the red on his face becoming more evident.

At that I found my cheeks heating up the slightest bit as well, and I carefully snuck a glance at Sirius and James on the other sofa, smiling smugly at us.

Before one of the two had a chance to make a teasing comment about it I faked a yawn, stood up from the couch and stretched myself.

“I’m completely knackered. Chasing after James through half Hogwarts is kind of tiring after all.” I joked, throwing a halfheartedly angry glare at James.

He raised his hands, acting offended while laughingly saying “ What? I really thought you wanted Mulciber to ask you out on a date. It’s not my fault you were so shocked I had to step on your foot to get an answer out of you and that you’d spit your leaf right into his face just because of it… had I known.. blimey....I would’ve done it weeks ago.”

I rolled my eyes at him, a smile etching it’s way onto my lips. Sirius clasped his hands over his tummy, shaking with laughter while Remus let out a huff that slowly turned into a silent chuckle.

“Goodnight you gits” I yelled over my shoulder while walking up the stairs to the girls dormitory, shaking my head smiling. ______________________

“Oi, Ria! Your owl landed in my cereal...again!” Eric, a fifth year from Ravenclaw exclaimed. He came over from his table, a small smile tugged on his face whilst holding the small, brown feathered ball in the palm of his hands. The little owl picked itself up and shook his feathers, small droplets of milk flying everywhere. I chuckled embarrassed and took it carefully from his hands, smiling at him apologetically.  

“I’m so sorry. She’s still so young and...really overenthusiastic.” I groaned looking at the owl that crept it’s way up my arm to sit on my shoulder. She nipped at my hair gently, her way of apologizing. “No worries, at least I’m awake now.” he grinned, his blue eyes flashing with a hint of amusement.

“ But I fear that the letter she was carrying might be a bit soaked now.” I looked at the letter he handed over to me. It was dripping and it started to curl up a bit.

“Well, let’s just hope I can still read it. Thanks for bringing it over and sorry again for the interruption of your breakfast.” I snickered and turned around to sit back at the Gryffindor table. He patted the top of my head “Always a pleasure love.” and turned around to head back to his own table. James and Remus were both looking at me with a questioning facial expression, while Sirius had a wide smirk etched onto his face and Peter just looked slightly confused while nibbling on his toast.

“What?” I urged, cheeks turning faintly red.

“You know Eric Turner? Ravenclaws Seeker?” asked James slightly agitated.

“Well, I guess? Ibis likes to fly right into his breakfast every now and then..still don’t know how she manages to always aim for his plate..” I mumbled

“He seems a bit too friendly for someone whose breakfast regularly gets interrupted by a hyperactive owl, don’t you think?” James queried.

“Would you rather he hexed me?” I asked irritated throwing a confused glance towards the other three.

“Why are you even questioning it?” Peter chimed in, looking at James curiously.

“James isn’t too fond of him ever since Ravenclaw beat us in last years Quidditch Finale.” Sirius scoffed, taking a bite of his breakfast.

“I swear to Godric Gryffindors Sword, they cheated!” exclaimed James loudly, raising the attention of a few other Students sitting around us.

Remus who stayed silent up until this point finally opened his mouth and said “Well, I think it’s very kind of him to not be angry at Ria or Ibis and you shouldn’t question that James.”. He stood up, straightened his robes and looked at his four friends pointedly. “If we don’t want to be late for Transfiguration class I suggest we get going.” He turned around, not waiting for his friends reaction and took off.

“What’s his deal?” James questioned, looking at his three other friends left at the table.

“We should follow and ask him.” I said standing up as well. ______________________

Turns out the next full moon is closer than we thought, leaving Remus on edge and easily irritable. And since we all failed at keeping the mandrake leaf inside our mouths for a month, we wouldn’t be able to keep him company again.

Remus didn’t blame us, after all he didn’t want us to become animagi to begin with, but he knew better than to argue with us, for he knew how stubborn we were when it came to protecting and being there for each other. He didn’t let it show that much, but we all knew how happy it made him, to know that we didn’t want him to carry his burden alone.

Every time after a full moon we would all sneak into the Hospital Wing, sit at his bed and talk to him. We would bring him chocolate and his favourite books, Sirius always implying what a huge nerd he was and either James or I would then take a book and hit him over the head with it.

The last time we visited him we overheard Madame Pomfrey talking to Professor Dumbledor, she voiced her concerns, that with every full moon Remus injuries became worse.

“The older he gets, the worse it becomes.” whispered Madame Pomfrey, a worried expression on her face.

Professor Dumbledor, who stood next to Remus bed, said calmly “Well, the more he grows, the more the wolf grows. It was foreseeable Poppy. The shrieking shack is after all not the best place to keep a werewolf safe, but it’s our only option.”

With that he left and Madame Pomfrey turned to Remus who was still unconscious. She looked at the bandages once more and then made her way to her office.

James was the first one to approach Remus bed. He looked at him, sadness evident in his brown eyes. As we all gathered around him, he opened his eyes and looked at us sheepishly.

“Did you hear everything they said?” he asked us timidly.

We all nodded in unision, none of us quite sure how to react. ___________________

At the night of the full moon, neither of us four could sleep, all of us haunted by the thought that Remus was yet again alone, fighting his inner demons.

As we sat by the fire in our common room, faces illuminated by flames, we all vowed that we would become animagi as soon as possible, so that our friend wouldn’t have to endure the full moon nights alone anymore.

With that said, we each placed a new mandrake leaf inside our mouths, chanted a spell to have it stuck to the bottom of our tongues and bid each other good night.

This time around I knew, none of us would screw up again, the fear of our best friend being out there alone, in danger, stuck with us.

[5sospenguinqueen]

DATING ERIC COULTER WOULD INCLUDE:

Him being less of an ass when you're around

So if someone has to tell him something they know he won't like, they always make sure you're stood next to him

You wouldn't have the sweetest or cutest relationship

But neither one of you would change it

Because that's just how you show you love each other

Explosive arguments

But never being violent towards the other

Jealous af

So overprotective

Sparring matches

Showing the other off

Major PDA

Anywhere and everywhere

Snuggly Sundays

Talking about your old families

Training together

Sunday morning jogs

Long kisses that show how much he loves you

Without actually saying it

Not holding hands in public

But having them intertwined under the table, thinking you're being sneaky

Everyone knows though

Power couple af

Being the only one to make him smile, not smirk

Neck kisses

So many hickeys

He'd tell you everything despite seeming closed off

Him having your name tattooed on his hip

Having a very unpredictable relationship

Understanding why he did what he did

Even if you don't agree with those actions

Loving him despite his flaws

Teasing him subtly

Sarcasm

All the damn time

Tight hugs in the safety of your apartment after long days

Winks from across the room

Heated gazing

Having rare deep conversations late at night when you can't sleep

Going to sleep on opposite sides of the bed but waking up in each other's arms

Rarely saying 'I love you' but showing it

Jaw kisses

Matching tattoos on your legs, so that no one sees

[lostinthemazecalledmyhead]

Imagine you found out that you have a sister, Sookie Stackhouse, unwillingly you fall into her world of supernatural creatures. Being a more advanced mindreader than Sookie, all supernatural eyes are on you. You’re a weapon, but will you make it out alive?

Part three Double heart

Part one  (All your life) Part two  (Stay in the dark) Part three (Double heart) Part four (Better dig two)

Word Count: 2236

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Being back in Bon Temp you come across a connection you didn’t expect to find.

Previously: Alcide visited you at your house and told you that you needed to come back to Bon Temps with him.

It would be so wrong for you to say that you came along because Alcide is so persuasive. Why would that be so wrong you ask? Because you have morals of some kind. The kind that tells you that you should not just think about yourself. Okay, screw it! You came along because the thought of a supernatural adventure thrilled you. How many times have you re-watched Vampire diaries or Supernatural. This time it’s your time to kick some supernatural ass. And you’re doing ‘it’ again. Smiling sheepishly at your own thoughts. “You came back.” Sam greets you surprised. Not the kind of warm welcome you were hoping for. Alcide insisted on taking you here because he said the food is not better anywhere else. The food must be real crappy everywhere else then, for this to be the best food… You are not stupid. Alcide took you here because of Sookie. Your damned sister. Sitting down in the back of the bar flashes dance before your eyes. A vision. Having these visions is like watching tv, but in your mind. You’ve been shown images, video’s but also feelings. It doesn’t always clearly show what is about to happen, but putting together what is shown to you in your vision you mostly can figure things out. The image that is shown to you this time is a picture of Eric. He is somewhere in the woods and the feelings you are getting with this image are scared at first and then, passion? What? It sometimes happens that you interpret something wrong and this must be one of those times. Alcide sits down across from you. “So,” you say folding your hands underneath your chin. “what is it that you’re really up to?” “We’re here to see Sookie.” He tells you. You wave your hand at him. “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” Does he really think you’re that dumb. “I mean what are you planning to use me for? Because I see a little of Eric in my future.” Alcide arches his dark eyebrow at you. “What are you talking about?” He asks confused. “She’s talking about a tall, blonde handsome man walking into her life.” Eric sits down next to Alcide. “Well if it isn’t the big bad wolf and the big bad vampire sharing a drink, thinking their deep thoughts and desires.” You say leaning back in your seat. Eric laughs. “She really is something, huh.” He tells Alcide, who is not amused at all. “I like her.” Eric adds looking at you. “Well color me blessed.” You scoff sarcastic. “Feisty too.” Eric notices. “That could come in handy.” Alcide turns to Eric. “What are you doing here?” Alcide growls. “To look at my new asset, of course.” Eric replies not once breaking his stare down that he is having with you. “I’m not some cow that you can just take in.” You tell Eric. “I’m more than that.” “Oh, you’re much more.” Eric agrees. “That’s why I want you so bad.” With a smile on your face you lean across the table towards Eric. “Oh, really?” You ask him teasingly. “How bad?” “I have a proposition for you.” Eric tells you, suddenly all business like. You hold up your hand, telling him to keep quiet. “Food first. Then I’ll listen.” You command him. Eric watches you and finally turns to Alcide. “Well, you hear the lady. Give her some food.” Alcide growls. He clearly despises Eric. Still he gets up to order some food. “Give me one reason to trust you instead of him.” You tell Eric hurried when Alcide is out of hearing range. “Honesty.” Eric tells you. “You’re a smart girl. It’s no use in lying to you. I won’t, but I can’t say the same for our hairy friend.” Pursing your lips you shrug. “Not really what I was looking for, but whatever.” You kick back resting your feet on Eric’s chair. “What were you looking for?” Eric asks genuinely interested. With pursed lips you smile amused. “Well wouldn’t the almighty vampire like to know.” Playing around with such powerful creatures may no be the brightest idea, but what is life without a risk. Before Eric could say something else Alcide returns with a hamburger and fries. “Jeez, I’m starving.” You tell him before digging your teeth into the burger. Feeling uncomfortable the men watch you devour the hamburger. “Well, talk.” You bid Eric after you ate the whole hamburger and he still hasn’t started his proposal.  “I need someone to help me on a mission.” Eric tells you. Hello vagueness. You think still looking down at your fries. Which are not even that good by the way. “I’ll pay you richly.” He adds hoping to catch your interest. Instead you look up at him, with dead bored eyes. “So does my job.” Eric is speechless and you take a wild guess and say he is not very often. Not impressed you continue to eat your fries. You tap into Alcide and feel that he is delighted by the way you are treating Eric. “Better wipe that smirk off your mind, werewolf boy.” You tell Alcide in-between eating. Alcide coughs shocked that you read his mind, while Eric just smiles amused and even impressed. “Where are you staying?” Eric asks out of nowhere. “I’ll swing by later tonight and talk to you when werewolf boy isn’t around.” He just stole your nickname. Copyright... “Well Alcide dragged my ass over here and therefore, I have no place to stay, unless there is something I don’t know.” “I forgot. You can crash on my couch.” Alcide says. “Or you could stay at my house.” Eric says, making you raise your eyebrow at him. “You would have your own wing.” Eric’s mind is silent so you focus on him. It takes a lot of concentration, but you are able to catch a glimpse of something. “Fuck me sideways.” You blurt out without thinking. “You are sincere!” Your astonishment catches them off guard. “I think it’s time to go.” You stand up. Still a bit put off the men don’t move. “Well, Eric, are you dead or something?” Okay that may not have been the best question to ask someone who is actually dead. Do you seriously don’t have an off switch?

“That looks good on you.” Eric’s voice scares you to death. You thought you were alone in your guestroom. Wearing only your panties and an oversized Fangtasia t-shirt that he gave you. Your hair is worn down and you were just dancing around the huge room when Eric’s voice interrupted your music. “Ever heard of knocking?” You ask, not even the slightest bit of uncomfortable about your bareness.

“If I had knocked I would never have seen that move you made.” Eric tells you grinning. Smiling devilishly you turn up the music and grab his hand. “Knocking wouldn’t have made a difference, corpse.” Alcide got his nickname, now it’s only fair to give Eric one too. Adoring Eric looks down on you while your bodies move to the rhythm of the music. “I’m not going to sleep with you.” You tell him out of the blue.

“You really are remarkable at mind reading. I never met anyone who could read a vampires mind so easily.” Eric tells you astound.

“Oh, I didn’t need to read your mind to know what you were thinking.” You tell him satisfied. Bon Temps was maybe not so bad after all. You are, after all, having fun.

“Devilish.” Eric remarks

“I would love to say ‘that’s me’, but unfortunately I would be lying if I did.” You say.  Eric turns down the volume. “What do you mean unfortunately?” He asks curious. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you.” You say and shrug. “But I always dreamt of being something like I am becoming right now. A heroine in a story to be written down and read by thousands of hungry eyes, wishing for the possibility of experiencing the same thing. I’m sick of sitting in my small office reading cases and searching through laws to find a loophole, which may surprise you do exist.”

“You are a lawyer?” Eric asks you uncertain. You just nod. “Has someone ever told you, you are nothing like your sister?” Eric asks as if you have known your sister your whole life.

“I have, but how so?” You are starting to get curious as to why you are nothing like her. The both of you sit down on the end of the bed. “You’re educated, a risk taker, out-going, bubbly and just ..different.” Eric’s remark makes you smile. Whether or not he meant is as a compliment, you are definitely taking it that way.

“Why do you hate your life so much?” Eric asks surprising you. That is a way you never really thought of it. Did you really hate your life? It’s a tough question. “What happened to make you resent normal life?”

In your head you are discussing whether or not you should tell Eric.But in the end you are still not sure. “I don’t know, it’s stupid.” You say.

Half-heartedly you hoped he would drop the matter, but he doesn’t care for the fact that you don’t feel like sharing your inner thoughts. “I’m a really good listener.” He pushes.

Giving in you sigh. Whatever. “A few years ago I was dating Chuck, a tanned biker who used to live on the farm with his parents. I don’t really know what business he had with his biker gang, but he never talked about that.”

“So, he was a bad guy?” Eric asks.

You nod. “I guess I liked the mystery around him and the fact that he was a bad guy intrigued me in a way. Apparently I have a weak for the bad guy.” You tell him not realizing who you are talking to. With a charismatic smile and puppy eyes Eric looks down on you, making you realize what kind of effect your words now have on him. In his ears all he heard was: ‘I have a weak for you, Eric.’

“So what happened?”

“One day, he came home and he rolled up is sleeve. I never expected things to escalate so quickly, but it did. And I never meant for things to become that way, but I guess he decided for me that it should. There were two little hearts on my rodeo man. He practically slipped a ring right on my finger.”

“He wanted to marry you?” Eric asks uncertain.  

“Chuck didn’t say it with those exact word, but he tattooed two hearts on his shoulder. And at that moment I realized something. There was no way in hell that I was going to stay at home to watch the children and be a good housewife. I haven’t lived my life yet. All those years I was only alive, not actually living life. That’s why I left him with skid marks and a double heart.”

Eric chuckles. “A double heart.”

“Why is this funny to you?” You ask feeling a bit insulted.

“It’s just so beautiful the way your mind works.” He says, confusing you. “You left a guy because you were not satisfied with yourself.”

Feeling attacked you stand up. You could have chosen to say something nasty in return, there were plenty of things you could say, but you decide not to. Attacking back would only make you look worse. “What are you getting at, Eric?” You ask instead.

Eric rises to his feet. “It’s not an insult, sweets.” He assures you. Your eyes lock and Eric bends his face towards yours. Is he going to do what you think he is going to do? “What the hell are you doing?” You ask him not moving an inch. He pulls back looking at you. “Well, kissing you of course.”

“Did something in my story give you the idea that it was okay to do so?” You ask him. Was there something in your story you hadn’t realized made you seem cheap?

“Never mind.” Eric’s demeanor seems to change a bit. “The sun is about to rise, I’ve got to go.” With these words he leaves you wondering what went wrong. You go to bed and fall asleep quickly while the sun slowly rises. Stepping into a dream world you begin seeing things. Not dreams, though it could be mistaken for a dream by someone who doesn’t know any better. You see a body ignite and burn until there is nothing left, but black crisp. Eric. Wide awake you sit up straight in the bed that is way too big for you. Something is going to happen and you know it. Not only have you seen someone burn to death, but you could also feel it in your gut. And if there is one thing you’ve learned it’s to always trust your gut feeling. “Why does he has to have such a goddamned big place.” You curse while flying out the room into the big hall. Clutching your hands around your arms you focus on trying to get a premonition. A faint flash of someone throwing in a Molotov cocktail dances before your eyes. Rushing down the big stairs you run outside the door. You need to stop them before they do it.  On your bare feet you run across the grit, hurting your feet, but right now you don’t feel the pain. Adrenaline rushes through your veins. The sound of breaking glass draws your attention. It has happened. You’re too late.

[ash-lee-can]

Along The Road (Chapter 6)

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Pairings: Richonne, Shane/Andrea

Rating: PG-13

A/N: I know some people don’t read on fanfiction.net, so here’s the latest chapter on here...

This fic is not Beta'd therefore all mistakes are mine...

Chapter 6

The air was freezing, but they could only feel it on their faces as they were all heavily clothed everywhere else. Their footsteps gave a soft crunch as Michonne and her friends stepped on fresh fallen snow in the backyard of Shane and Andrea's home. It was the same backyard that she, Rick and Shane goofed around in for years in their teens, back when Shane's parents owned it. The backyard felt like it was only type of backyard of that size you'd see in the South without costing you a fortune. Just simply the norm.

It was a bizarre feeling seeing her old friends again. The first was Glenn, pregnant Maggie, who was waddling through due to her sizable belly, and their son Hershel, also known as JR, coming up to the front steps. She thought back to when Glenn was just that young, cute, awkward pizza boy who was always the one to deliver the food when she and Andrea, who were grown, practicing lawyers, having their Girls Night In with the young, fiesty, college girl, Maggie. Watching how they interacted now, she would have thought that they were that old couple with a life time of forever love you'd see in the commercials. They reminded her of her grandparents.

There was a woman named Carol with her college freshman daughter, Sophia. Michonne met her when she defended her in a case against the murder of her husband. It was a case of self defense against the abusive bastard and Michonne was determined to make sure she got off. Rick had called her up as soon as the woman was arrested at the scene. Michonne had already defended Shane, who was beating him for using "excessive force" towards that same man the year before when they had answered a 911 call and had to break up a "domestic dispute" against the two. The whole town knew the what was happening, but most of them stood by, not wanting to interfere in someone's marriage which resulted in bloodshed. Rick, secretly, asked for her help. Michonne was not about to let that woman rot for that monster's deserving demise. The woman and her daughter had no family therefore Rick and Shane decided to make them her family, her daughter even becoming Carl's best friend. She had become a woman of strength that had risen from her struggle and pain, providing for the life that both she and her daughter deserved.

There was Sasha and Tyrese. The latter was a former professional football player for the Miami Dolphins. He moved from retirement central to Atlanta after he was forced to retire himself after a bad injury in his five year career. With his younger sister planning to move to Atlanta, big brother decided to tag along. Andrea bonded with Sasha with their secret love for The Spice Girls, while Shane became fascinated becoming friends with a NFL player into becoming genuine friends. Michonne met them at a funeral a few years ago and got to know them both at the wake. Although Tyrese was the famous NFL player, Sasha was a hero back where they were from saving a supposedly doomed orphanage in a fire. Michonne determined that Tyrese was the protective teddybear and that Sasha was the headstrong woman of determination.

Aaron and his boyfriend, Eric, showed up. Andrea and Michonne met Aaron after the Westboro Baptist Church got off from criminal charged when they bombed his well community center, when they learned of his sexuality in Atlanta years ago. The duo were outraged by the outcome after following the high profiled case, contacted him, offered their services to him, and convinced him to sue for defamation, which would help financially with the damages. The duo won of course and stayed friends with him ever since. Andrea continues to work as his main lawyer since Michonne moved to France.

She didn't know Tara and Rosita before today. Andrea told her that Tara had lost her dad, sister and niece to a very messy, tragic car accident in Atlanta. Tara, who was fresh out of the police, was on duty to the messy pile up on the highway when she discovered her family's demise and left for a smaller town as a deputy. It amazed Michonne how someone who'd experience such tragedy could still live the life as a goofball. The King's County Police Department took the young one under their wings and made her family. Her girlfriend Rosita was a mechanic, who Tara first met when she took her sister's car to get fixed one day as a way to heal her grieving. They hit it off immediately, turning from fast best friends into something more.

She looked over to loner redneck Daryl Dixon. She was still amazed that they'd became friend considering that the family he'd come from. She'd never forget the way his older brother would assault her with racial remarks. Daryl was always stuck right behind him, always reading to jump in and fight by his brother's side, despite never engaging in the verbal combat, at least not towards her in particular for whatever reason, even though she was sure had with others. When Merle got locked up, again, Rick helped him come into his own. Sure Daryl would never become a cop considering his family's history with them, but there was something he could do. He found a way to better himself and his situation. By the time the old man, who owned the autoshop he and Merle worked in for years passed away, he'd saved up enough money to purchase the business. It was the same autoshop Rosita worked at. When she saw him again years back, she almost couldn't believe that he was the same. He had his brother's temper every now and again, and every now and again would find himself into trouble for getting ahead of himself and stubborness, but he seemed genuine when it came to wanting helping people and overall in a better place compared to where he used to be when they were kids.

Then there was the Grimes family. Michonne's mind went back to that morning, when she ended up to being treated to alone with adorable, scruffy bearded Rick Grimes...

Early That Morning

The aroma of Southern cooking invaded her nostrils as she once again woke in the semi-familiar surroundings. With the smell of such deliciousness, and the Christmas Eve feast she had the night before, she just knew that she was going put on a few pound just from stay there.

She glanced at her side in the bed and saw her son, Andre, still sleeping soundly with his light snores. She slowly climbed out of bed and headed for the bedroom door. She didn't know what to expect when she stepped into the living, but the sight taken her aback.

On the pullout couch Carl hanging on off one side of the the pullout bed, face down, most likely drooling, still wearing his boots and on top of the comforter that was there. He had gone out to hang, most likely party, with friends after dinner and must had come back late while everyone was still sleeping. She remembered the days where after going out late at night to party with with Shane and Rick in their younger days and sneaking back into her grandparents house before dawn so they wouldn't know she was out all night drinking cheap beer and dancing the night away.

Next to him was little Judith cuddled up into her big brother, almost using him as some form of a blanket, despite the comforter that she was under. Carl's arm was wrapped around her adorableness in a natural instinctive protective way. Maybe he was a security blanket? Maybe she was just reading too much into it? Either way, her heart warmed at and made her give a soft smile at the sight. She didn't imagine having any more children, but if she did, she can imagine her son doing the same to his younger sibling.

Then there was Rick, laying on the other side of the bed, just snoring. It wasn't obnoxious sounding, but it was definitely louder than what her son was doing in the guest room. She chuckled at how cute it was. She used to hate when Mike would snore in her ear and but for some reason the snoring sound in the room wasn't bothering her.

Still slightly tired, and not wanting to disturb the sleeping family, she headed for the kitchen to see if she find some caffeine. Hopefully there was some herbal tea she liked and not just coffee. Also it was too early in the day for delicious hot chocolate.

She walked into the cozy kitchen to various pots simmering and the oven baking. There wasn't anyone in sight overseeing the cooking, which unnerved her, until she spotted the note on the refrigerator.

'Shane said I forgot to pick up some stuff,

so we need to find a store that's open so

we can get it real quick. We'll be back

hopefully soon.

-Andrea

P.S. Check on the damn food!

-Shane'

She could imagine the debate between the two of them at like three in the morning about the food. Andrea , honestly, wasn't much of a cook. It was decent, but very basic. Shane was someone who took much pride in his cooking. He used say that his older brother Negan would tell him that, "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but a way into a woman's panties is the high skill level of working a skillet!" As a shirt chaser, it was a skill that Shane took seriously and tried to master as much as he possibly could, starting from Michonne's own grandmother. When they dated in their early teens, he tried to win her grandmother over by taking cooking lessons from her at the Dinner Bell diner. He took pride in his over 25 years of culinary work. And there wasn't a woman who didn't appreciate his efforts, then he wouldn't even bother and further.

The aroma of the delicious food over came her. There was no way she wasn't going to take a peek. She lifted a lid on one pot, a steam of Southern ecstacy invaded her lungs and pores. She saw a pot of cooking collard green with ham hocks just simmering away and her mouth began to water. She slowly lowered her hand in the pot of a taste-

"Checking the food right?"

She clamped the lip back onto the pot as the unexpected voice startled her. She glances behind her to see Rick standing on the other end of the kitchen, freshly woken with his messy loose curls and scruffy beard, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, along with an unexpected imprint against the pants she wasn't expecting to see at that very moment.

She looked up to realize that he giving her a playful smirk. She had only looked down below for a half a second but, did he notice? After a couple a seconds of slight panic, she realized that he amusement was from her food thieving. Not perving eyes.

She nervously smiled back to cover her unexpected nerves. "Well, figured I'd take a peek since Shane and Andy left out."

Rick scratched the back of his curls, still waking up. "Let me guess. Andrea forgot something, again?"

"Seems like."

They stared at each other in silence, both unsure what to say next. Then Michonne remembered the reason she came in the kitchen in the first place.

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to know if they have any tea?"

Rick perked up and walked over to her. "Yeah. Let me grab that for you." He squeezed through between her and the wall, holding onto her side for a second, to reach the top in the cabinet above one the counter she was next to. She jolted a little bit when his front accidentally brushed against her backside. This was not how she was planning on spending her morning.

"Andrea hides it up here when Shane pranked her once by pretending to throw it out once." He pulled down a gallon sized ziplock bag with various types of packaged tea bags and K-Cups and handed over to her. "So you got your green, black, white, chamomile and some other teas I can't remember." Michonne raised an eyebrow at his knowledge of various teas other than diabetically sweet. "Andrea threw away Shane's coffee once and ranted to us about our horrible coffee habits. The prank was in retaliation."

She laughed at the thought. It still amazed her how the two stayed together. Both of them were pretty stubborn people and yet they still worked. "Thanks."

She looked into the bag, spotting the white tea she was hoping for grabbed a coffee mug. She glanced over to Rick, who was pouring himself a cup of leftover coffee that Shane had in the coffee pot. "I guess the 'coffee is bad' rant didn't take huh."

He looked back at her and blushed beneath his thick beard before turning back to his drink. "Old habits die hard I guess."

"Maybe I can do a much better job of convincing you than Andrea could?" Wait! What? She didn't mean for it to come off a flirtatious as she did. Simple friendly banter. Or maybe it was just in her head?

Rick turned around again with his mug in hand. He kept his head down, not looking her in the eye, but she could tell his whole face was a little red now. "We'll see." He headed out of the kitchen, maybe a little quicker than he probably should have.

Michonne groaned to herself in embarrassment. Maybe some nice hot tea will help her get her head straight this morning. Andrea might have been right though. She needed to get laid.

Present Time

Michonne came out of the morning memory as a quick gush of wind pushed against her face a little. She looked ahead and saw the other game players standing around further into the yard, getting ready to pick teams. She looked back onto the back porch to see Andrea, Maggie, Carol, Sophia and Eric sitting down, watching Andrea, Judith and JR play around, ready for the game to start. She hustled to catch up with the rest of them so they could pick teams.

"Alright." Shane, tossing the football to himself in the air, while he addressed everyone. "Rick and I are captains, as usual. Last year's loser go first."

Tyrese, counting everyone, in his head notices something was off. "We don't have an even number though."

Shane smirks a little. "Don't worry. My extra man should be here any moment." Michonne could tell he had something up his thermal sleeves. "Pick first Rick." He tossed the ball to the other captain for his first pick.

Rick caught it easily and carefully scanned the group, looking for the first choice he already decided on.

"Oh fuck you, Grimes!" Shane threw his gloved hands in the air. Rick laughed at the outburst, to everyone's else's confusion. He knew Shane was going to pick Michonne first, but being last year's loser had it's benefits. "It's fine. You two were always against me anyways." As he looked around for his next pick. Just as he was about to call Sasha's name-

"You damn shitheads just couldn't wait for me, could ya?" A loud, male voice carried through the yard as he swaggered through the snow towards him. He was tall and handsome for sure. Michonne almost didn't recognize him, but as he gotten closer, his swagger, voice and that shit eating grin that formed behind that, she recognized that it was Shane's older brother. "Little Ricky's and his toy soldiers are in to get one hell of a Christmas."

A/N: I was originally going to make this chapter and next chapter one long as chapter, but I decided to end it on. I'll try and get the next one up as soon as I can. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I'd like to thank you all for the reviews. If there appears to be any mistakes, let me know so I can can fix them :)...

[jojuarez26]

We found love in a hopeless place part 5

Divergent fanfiction: Eric/OC

In do not own any part of Divergent

@pathybo @tigpooh67 @scorpio2009 @beautifulramblingbrains @clublulu333 @frecklefaceb @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @lunaschild2016 @badassbaker @ariwolff14 @mom2reesie @sparklemichele @jaihardy @ericdauntless @emmysrandomthoughts @kenzieam @iammarylastar @captstefanbrandt @readsalot73

I lay here on the roll away bed browsing my tablet. They had finally been able to give Sam a sedative. It put her to sleep, but she still tossed and turned mumbling and whimpering. It made me want just go to Candor and end it all.

Good thing I want everyone who was ever involved with the abuse and mistreatment of Samantha Miller to pay for their sins. I do have to say this still boggled my mind. I don't even understand why I feel so protective of her. A little voice in my head says it's because she trusted you when no one else ever had. She didn't see a monster when she looked at me, Sam saw a savior.

I can't be that guy though. I will just end up hurting her in the end. There is no room in my life for complications.

"Eric." It's mumbled barely above a whisper. I look at her but she is still asleep.

I walk over and brush her hair out of her face. The restraints are gone, I refused to leave them on her while I am in the room. I noticed for the first time that she has little circular scars everywhere. The closer I look the shorter my fuse is getting. They are scars from cigarette burns. Who actually does this shit to a child? Their own child at that.

I jumped and almost bent the hand that touched my forearm unexpectedly. Sam cowered back on the bed sheer terror in her eyes. SHIT!

"Sweetheart no, I'm so sorry I didn't, I wasn't, I'm an asshole," I stuttered out tripping all over my words.

I slowly sit down on the bed and place my hand on the bed next to hers. After taking a minute to look me completely up and down and inspect my demeanor throughly, Sam placed her trembling hand in mine.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't touch people without their permission." Tears are in her eyes.

"Sam it's ok. It was my fault. To be honest I really don't normally like when people touch me, but it's not so bad when the person is you." I gave a small smile.

The smile I got in return made my heart beat pick up a little bit.

"I don't let anyone touch me. But after you pulled me up without a second thought, didn't leave me, didn't hurt me. It felt," she paused and swallowed hard. "Safe. It felt safe. You feel safe. Nobody has ever felt safe before."

She was starring down at her hand in mine. I knew I had to be very gentle with her today. Her mind was fragile at the moment and I don't want to be the one to break it.

"Do you want to talk about?" I asked softly rubbing circles on her hand again.

Sam was quiet for a few minutes. I assumed she didn't want to but then she took a deep breath and started to speak. Still not looking at me though.

"I was stuck back in Candor again. I was watching Gina die over and over again on repeat. Jordan and Quentin telling me over and over again no one can ever like let alone love a freak with a broken mind." She still refused to look up.

"Quentin always told me he owned me, I was his to do whatever he pleased with. So he would make sure everyone knew I was damaged goods so I could never leave." The tears where streaming down her face.

I felt my body start to tremble from the anger building up inside of me. He not only physically broke her, he made sure to mentally brake her too. What all had he done to her? Why? How could anyone think their child deserved to be treated like that.

"Eric. Eric I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me." Her voice quivered and she had pulled away again. Damn it Eric get your shit together.

"I"m not mad at you Sam. I could never be mad at you. I'm mad at them for doing this to you. Mad at Candor for allowing it to happen to you. I want you to know you are not a broken toy to me. You are so strong and brave. You survived when other people couldn't have. Guess what. I like you. I want to help you not hurt you. I'm glad you feel safe with me " the word vomit just kept tumbling out. I could not stop myself.

Sam finally looked up at me. I could see the wheels turning her head. Had no one really ever let her know that it wasn't her fault? That she didn't deserve to be treated that way. She tilted her head a little still deep in thought. When she did finally speak again I was shocked.

"Eric you have to stay away from Candor. Or stay away from me. They will kill you or worse. Everyone who ever liked me ended up dead or hating me in the end. I don't want anything to happen to you."

She was worried about me. Nobody worries about me. Besides, it was my job to protect her, not the other way around.

"Sweetheart you are not alone in this anymore. I won't die and I could never hate you." I almost felt panic set in as the words left my mouth.

"Don't make promises you can't keep. Or should not keep." Her voice took on a bitter tone.

Sam's facial expressions started to take on a look of anger. She pulled her hand away and went to get off the bed.

"Just go. Leave. They all leave. Everything I touch dies or turns on me. GO GET OUT!! LEAVE," she was hyperventilating, attempting to hit me.

I knew this was still partial side effects from the serum, mood imbalance was normal after any serum. Also I knew she felt she spoke the truth. Everyone had died or turned their back on her. I wrapped my arms around her tight and sat down on the bed holding her in my lap.

Next thing I know the door to the room is flung open. Two women and one man came barreling in. One of the nurse's had a syringe in her had. When Samantha noticed them she really started to panic.

"Please no. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. PLEASE!! I DON'T WANT TO BE SICK AGAIN!! Eric don't let them hurt me." She had stopped trying to get away from me she had turned around and was clinging on to me for dear life.

"Get the FUCK OUT!! Now! LEAVE!!" I wasn't going to stand for this shit.

The orderlies looked at me like I lost my mind for a minute. Then scrambled out of the room as fast as they could.

"Sshh. Sam, Samantha you're ok. I won't let anyone hurt you." Her face was buried in my neck. Warm tears where slowly sliding from my ear down to my chest. Her whole body violently shaking.

"Sam sweetheart I got you. It's ok," I felt helpless.

Her sobs started to get softer, the trembling slowing down. Her grip on me however, stayed iron clad.

"I didn't mean it. I don't want you to leave me," she whispered with her lips by my ear.

I involuntary shuddered from the warmth of her breath. It made my insides tingle. I couldn't help putting my face in her hair and running my hand up and down her back. It just, just felt.... right.

"I'm not going anywhere Samantha. I am going to be the one who doesn't leave." I leaned back to look in her eyes.

All I could see and feel was, was, shit it was scaring me. Sam had a way of making me feel like she could reach inside of me without even trying. It was like her eyes where telling me I will do anything for you, follow you to the ends of the earth, give you my last breath, if you just don't leave me.

"Eric I can't ask you to do this. This is too much I am-" I cut her off right then and there.

"Samantha Miller. Nobody and I do mean nobody can make me do anything I dont want to do. Also nobody can stop me when my mind is made up. When I commit to something I follow threw. My mind is made up and I am committed. You aren't getting rid of me anytime soon. I dare anyone to try and stop me or change my mind," what the hell was getting into me. Why couldn't I shut my damn mouth.

"I am not easy to be around. I'm sick Eric. I can't cope with life like a normal person. What happens when it all just gets to be too much," she was trying so hard to push me away.

"It won't. I won't say there won't be days that we may argue or fight. I may not always be kind or caring it's just not in my nature. I am not your happy ending. But I will protect you. Pick you up when fall down and have your back until the end." Sam put her head back on my shoulder and placed a soft kiss on the crook of my neck

I felt a jolt like electricity run threw me. No woman who has done something way more extreme to me had made me feel this way. I wanted to set her down on the bed and leave. I was going to hurt her. I was going to let her down. I'm going to fail her. She deserves someone to give her the world not just a body guard. But she chose you you idiot. So I decided I am just going to do my job and do it the best I can.

"Eric, It's ok. I don't expect anything from you. I just want you to know, I trust you," she completely relaxed in my arms.

This was going to be the person to break me, I just know it. Even though every fiber of my being is telling me to run away as fast as I can and don't look back. I can't. I will not leave her alone in this. Why? I don't know. But right now I have work to do and I need space to breath. Now the trick is how to not hurt her when I leave.

"Eric don't you have somewhere to be or something to do? You are a leader after all," there was a tiniest twinkle in her eyes.

"I'm going to go get Dr.Marx for you. I'm going to be really busy today, so it might be late before I get back. If you need me before then have them let you call me ok?" I sat her on the bed and kissed her forehead.

She gave me a smile that said it all. Yup. Samantha Miller is going to be the death of me. I also know I am about to be waging a war on Candor and anyone who gets my way. May the truth set you free and you be damned to hell. I am coming for blood if anyone gets in my way. For some reason I have found a focus point in my life and shit is about to get serious on a whole new level. It's time to go storm the castle.

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Wish Breakers Part 3

Sorry Guys, I’m on a roll with this for right now. Hopefully the inspiration lasts for one or two more parts, which should be enough to finish the story. 

Part 1

Part 2

After a few hours of traveling underground, we reached a large metal ladder, which led us onto a dirty alley. Facing us was a flickering neon sign over a metal door, which read “Goblin Inn.”

It was 3:09 PM.

“You weren’t joking, this is a real place?” I half expected my mother or Eric to break down laughing, and tell me this was a joke. All I got was a serious glance between them and her terse instructions: 

“Stay close, this could get ugly.” We entered the building. 

Immediately I was hit with a wall of noise: shrieks, shouts and growls echoed constantly through the large barroom, making me want to cover my ears. Everywhere I looked something was happening. Two large men traded punches in the corner, while everyone else ignored them. A group of pointy-eared people were playing poker. A smaller woman obviously didn’t like the hand she was dealt, as she set fire to the table in protest. A waiter, thin and long limbed, floated over and put the fire out with his water pitcher and they resumed their game. A couple danced in the corner, their blue-tinged skin radiating a faint light. Everyone seemed to be thinly disguised as human, similarly to Eric, but just not doing a very good job. As our arrival was noticed a silence fell over the bar.

“Well, if it isn’t the supreme Wish Breaker, herself!” One of the large, hairy men paused his assault of his neighbor and stalked towards us with a nasty grin. “I thought I smelled the stench of failure.” He stopped within inches of my mother, laughing. He reeked of alcohol and sweat. “How does it feel, huh? You always thought you were better than the rest of us, controlling the flow of magic in this world. But now,” he stuck a long finger in her face, “You’re nothing. Just food for the Fallen.”

He laughed again, his split lip from his earlier fight breaking open and dribbling blood on his chin. My mother smiled, the expression not reaching her eyes. Eric and I both recognized it and backed away a few steps, but the man didn’t seem to notice or care.

“Back away, before I make you.” Her voice was calm, which was even scarier.

He stepped closer, almost touching her. “You’re not in charge anymore.” He looked over and saw me. “And who’s this? Fresh meat? I…oomph.” He cut off abruptly as my mother’s fist connected with his face, sending him flying into the poker table. Several of the patrons screeched angrily, while I noticed the woman gathering up the scattered money on the floor and running for the door.

My mother was still smiling. “I warned you, Grot. It may be the end times, but I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

Grot seemed stunned for a moment, and then brought his hand up to the large red mark on his face where she had struck him. His eyes narrowed. “You Bit…”

I didn’t see her move, but she was standing in front of him, a cocked pistol resting between his eyes. He swallowed his words and stood very still. The whole room followed suit, watching the fight unfold with morbid curiosity.

Then Eric stepped forward, breaking the tension. “Alright, Mara, let’s hold off on killing him just yet. He might be an idiot, but it tends to bring bad luck if you shoot someone before you have lunch. “ He led her towards the the stairs, “Why don’t you two head up and get settled in. I’ll get some food and be right behind you.”

He turned towards the bar, where a small, angry looking man wiped the counter. “You do still hold the Wish-Breaker room, right?”

The man nodded angrily. ”Third door on the left. You’re going to have to pay for that poker table.”

We headed up the stairs, leaving Eric to argue “extenuating circumstances” with the owner. The third door on the left looked slightly different than the others, I noticed that it had a silver handle. My mother grasped it gently and with a half turn, the door opened. We entered, sneezing a bit at the layer of dust that covered everything.

“Geez Mom, how long do you think it’s been since someone stayed here?”

Her answer was thoughtful “Twenty years and four months.” She was looking around the room, but I had a feeling she was seeing her past. I grabbed her arm, pulling her to the cleanest looking couch and sat down next to her.

“Look. We need to talk some stuff through.” She nodded but otherwise stayed silent, waiting for my question. I took a deep breath.

“Is Eric my father?”

“WHAT? No!” My mother looked shocked, as far as I could tell it was an honest reaction.

“Honey, I know your father died when you were five, but you still remember him, right?”

I shook my head. “I remember him, but that just means he lived with us and you told me he was my father. I never doubted that before, but since here we are, delving deep into this secret other life you’ve lead, your old flame showing up to join us… I just wondered…” I trailed off, embarrassed.

“No, I understand this has to be incredibly overwhelming for you.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I never wanted any of this for you. I just hoped I could keep you to the surface parts and protect you from the rest. Now I regret it.” Taking my hand she continued, looking sadly around the room. “I know you felt trapped by my expectations, believe me, I’ve been there. When I was your age there were still plenty of Wish Breaker family members around, judging me, reminding me of my duty.  I wanted a better life for you, but I suppose I ended up being just like them.”

I squeezed her hand. “Do you love Eric?”

“I did once.” She didn’t meet my eyes. “Now it’s more memories than anything else.”

I had to ask. “If you loved him why did you marry my father?” This was met with a bitter laugh.

“Expectations. Duty. Our family has been around a long time. I was expected to continue on the line. Eric was wonderful, but he’s Fairy kind and they can’t have children. Needed a human husband for that.”

“I’m sorry.” I looked down at my feet, scuffing a shoe against the dusty carpet.

“Don’t be.” She grabbed my chin, forcing my gaze to meet hers. I saw sadness there, expected it, but no regret lingered in her eyes. “I love you. And although David wasn’t my first choice in life, I loved him too. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

I gave her a hug. “I love you too.”

After a few long moments, she pushed me towards the side room where there was a bed. “Take a nap if you can, kid. We’ll have a busy night ahead.”

I snuggled under the surprisingly warm blankets, feeling tired but not quite ready to sleep. I was drifting off somewhat when I heard Eric enter the center room. I had left the door cracked just enough that I could see movement, and hear fairly well.

“Light?” His voice seemed older, more tired than it had when we first met.

“Taking a nap.”

“Good. That’s a good kid you’ve got there, deserves better than this mess.”

“Eighteen years old is hardly a kid.”

“I guess you’re right.” He laughed. “You were eighteen when we last saw each other, in this very room. Just finished putting down the rebellion of the Fallen. Seemed like such a big deal at the time. Of course, nothing compared to the storm brewing now.”

My mother sighed loudly; I head her get up and pace the room. “No kidding. This will make that battle seem like a schoolyard fight. “

“I was so cocky then. Led my first successful battle. Told a beautiful girl I loved her.” He hesitated. “Then it all came crashing down.”

There was an awkward pause.

“Why did you stay Eric? I told you the truth that day. We could never be together.”

“I know that now. Back then I was young and stupid enough to think I knew your heart better than you. Ah well, I’ve grown older and wiser. …Mostly just older.”

She laughed. “Well the years have been kind to you.”

“Not as kind as to you. You’ve barely aged at all?” I could hear the wonder in his voice. “I know there’s some Fae magic in your family, so you would age slower, but I thought with the price of the Wish Breaking it evened out.”

“Ah yes, the damned price of the Well. A year of my life for every year we hold the magic of the world away from others.” Her laugh was more bitter this time. “You know without it we would live almost twice as long as normal humans? Seemed a fair trade. We keep the world safe; in return we are reduced, year-by-year to a slightly less than normal lifespan. I shouldn’t look this good, Eric. I’m only here because Light wished me to be healthy.”

He sounded shocked. “What do you mean? How close to death were you?”

“A year or two away, not much more.”  

I gasped quietly, slapping a hand across my mouth to muffle the sound.

What did she mean? I knew she was sick, but…  I softly crept from the bed, sitting by the cracked door so I could hear more clearly. I lose a year of my life every year that I continue to do the Wish? I felt sick, a dull anger churning in my gut. How could she not tell me! I’ve lost two years of my life already!  

Eric seemed upset as well. “That doesn’t make sense! You should just be aged to a normal mortal woman in her early 40s, not at death’s door.”

There was a long pause. I leaned closer, desperate to hear her answer. “People think it’s such a simple thing, wishes.” Her voice was soft, sad. “It’s really much more complicated. My family has been striking deals with the magic of this world, feeding it our life force to protect every one else. I simply…struck a different deal. “

“What do you mean?” I silently echoed his question.

“I didn’t want… I couldn’t let my child face the same price. To be eaten away slowly by the well, by our family, until there’s nothing left.”

“Mara, what did you do?”

“I doubled the deal. Two years for every year of wishes. In exchange my child was guaranteed exclusion from the cost.”

I wanted to jump out, to call her out on such a stupid deal. Why would she throw her life away? She could have asked me, at least, for my thoughts on it! I was lifting my hand to open the door, when I was stopped by Eric’s question.

“You know what that means, right? If we succeed in this, and undo all the wishes done this morning, then you…”

“I’ll be returned back to the state I was in, plus the strain of all the activity from the full twelve hours since I was made healthy.”

“You’ll die.” His voice was flat, as if he could barely force the words out.

“Yes.” She was calm, accepting.

 I sat there, huddled against the wall in a strange inn, and despite all that had happened, having just learned about magic, wishes and the end of the world; all I could think about was my losing my mother. I dropped my head into my hands, tears seeping through my fingers.

“Light, it’s time to go.” Eric shook me awake, startling me.

“What?” I had fallen asleep on the floor, curled up in the corner of the room. At some point someone must have thrown a blanket on me. I pushed it off and stood, looking around, confused. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Just an hour.” He packed a small bag full of supplies, stopping a moment to toss me an apple. “Here, eat something. I’ve got more if you need it. Now let’s go, your mother is downstairs. We have to leave now.”

I took a bite of the apple, the crisp juice soothing the soreness of my throat. “Where are we going?”

He had been walking out the door, but at my question he turned, grinning.

“We’re going to go get an army.”

It was 4:32PM. 

[flyinghetfield]

Ahhhh Chapter 4 is finally done! Sorry it took so long! ENJOY!

“Alright everyone it's time for your 15 minute break.” You hear Kamens voice echo through the headsets. Stretching you look over to see Eric walking past and see him motion towards the back stage doors. Shaking your head you motion drinking water and see him throw a thumbs up, watching him leave. Looking down at your violin in your hands, you start to fiddle with the strings and re tune them since the past hour they had been played to some extremes. ”What the hell is going on? Why is everyone leaving?” Glancing up, Lars, now in a fluffly purple robe, wanders over towards you and plonks down in the seat next to you. “We were just starting to get into a zone and everyone’s left us.” Looking around you notice you were the only person still on the stage besides the band and a few of the stage crew. ”It’s apart of the Union. They have allocated breaks.” Sighing you put down your violin “Better to let them have what they want or they can get quite nasty.” ”It’s spooky, everyone heads off towards the bowel of the arena never to be seen again!” Kirk who was a few rows away turns to you two, mimicking a vampire and puts his fingers up and wiggles them. Giggling you shake your head. ”Why don’t we have a union like that?” James throws the towel he was using to wipe his face around his shoulders and walks over, grabbing one of the chairs and turns it so he’s sitting in front of Lars and yourself. Your suddenly very aware of the fact that both the founding members of Metallica are in arm length of you and you admire the one curl appearing at the front of James’s forehead as he runs his fingers through it. ”Well Y/N, I’m joining yours.” Lars grins at you. ”Y/N?” You see a look of recognition cross James’s face and he lets out a sly smile. “Ahhh…The chick who can apparently play fast, even faster than myself, according to Lars.” Feeling your face grow hotter, you shift and poke Lars’s in the arm. “You actually mentioned it to him?” You didn’t anticipate your voice to be so high. ”Hey told you it sounded like a challenge. Don’t shoot me, I’m only the messenger” Lars puts his hands up and laughs. You glance back at James who’s grin has only gotten bigger and sigh. ”Anyone ever tell you guys that you’re a pain in butt.” Mumbling under your breath you hear James laugh and nod. ”All the time, especially him.” He points towards Lars who was now fiddling on his phone, not paying any mind to what you both had just said. Rolling your eyes, you shake your head at James with a slight smile. While the three of you sit there, you can’t help but squirm a little as James blue eyes stay glued to your face, swearing that you see a small glint of mischief appear he keeps staring at you and you trying to glance everywhere but at him. Too quickly a smile appears on your face in relief as you spot Jason wandering over.

 “You know I was super cautious about telling people about this whole thing.” Jason now standing to the side of James, has his arms cross over his chest and he looks around at all the equipment sitting around. “But I think we have something pretty awesome on our hands here.” His eyes land on you, he smiles and you can’t help but grin back. ”It’s going to be amazing. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’m on the same stage as you guys while you play.” You can’t help the excitement in your voice.

“Here’s hoping, I’m very interested to see how our fans react to it all.” Lars putting his phone into one of the fluffy pockets on his robe, suddenly shifts more towards you. “So Y/N, don’t think the conversation we had in the kitchen went unnoticed” Confused, you wait for Lars to continue. “You’re a Metallica fan.” You blush when you see James’s eyebrow raise and you quickly look down at the violin in your lap. Damn, thought he would of wouldn’t bring that up.

“Y…Yeah, I err.. had a crush on a guy back in Senior year who use to be in my music class and a way to try and get to know him better, I had asked him what type of music he was into.” Glancing up you make eye contact with James and shyly smile. “He handed me a cassette tape of Master of puppets and I was a goner the moment I heard Battery.” ”Good choice.” James smiles at you, your lungs suddenly stop working for a moment. Coughing, you quickly recover. ”Is that how girls try to get into guys pants nowadays? Listen to the same type of music?” Lars leans forward wiggling his eyebrows and smiles at you. You let out a small laugh, then stop, remembering something and start to laugh harder. ”We did end up going out for a few months actually.” Jason lets out a laugh and you see both Lars’s and James’s eyes expand slightly. ”So, in a way, we got you laid then?” You can hear the laughter in James’s voice and blush, biting the inside of your lip. If only you knew, As you thought to all the nights spent in bed with partners with the soundtrack of Metallica filling the humid air. Feeling just a bit too warm for comfort since James was still looking in your direction, you take off the jumper you had decided to wear for the day and out of the corner of your eye, notice James glance down as your stomach as your T-shirt follows. Chucking it to the side, James glances behind you and you can hear the shuffling of someone walking behind you. ”You teasing my girl?” Pulling your head directly up, you squint directly up Eric’s nose, reminding yourself to tell him to pluck his nose hairs later and grab the bottle of water he’s offering to you over your shoulder. Eric then casually sits down on the other side of you as you take a nice long drink. ”My girl?” Lars slightly taken back glances between the both of you. “You two going out?” ”In her dreams.” You snort, shaking your head. “Nah, I’m not good enough for her. First time I crashed at hers, I tried to hit on her and she blew me off and made me sleep on the couch for the rest of the night.” ”Wait what? You were drunk off your ass and I wasn’t going to let you sleep in my bed! And it was a good thing I didn’t, since you ended up throwing up later in Zorro’s liter box” You look at Eric surprised, you didn’t know he had hit on you when had dragged him home on the first night from meeting at the bar and remember vividly him apologizing over and over again the next morning as you carried at squishy, crunchy sounding rubbish bag down stairs into the bin. ”That’s beside the point, it would of been the perfect time to take advantage, I wouldn’t of said no” Lars and James start to laugh and you shake your head at the idea.

“Don’t encourage him.” You glare at Lars and James and almost break out laughing when they quickly shut up. “Good.” Eric lets out a laugh at the sight of the mighty metal heads going quiet. “Oh.” Eric standing once again and looks over towards Lars. “Kamen told me to grab you, he wants to see you about some of the arrangements.” Lars sighs and stands.

“Better go get this worked out.” He nods at Eric. “Lead the way before I get lost in the bowls of this place.” You watch as both men walk off towards the back and then proceed to stretch once again, closing your eyes as you let out a long yawn. When you reopen them your surprised to see Jason had disappeared and James was now holding your violin that was sitting at your feet 5 seconds ago. You go to say something to get it back but then stop when he leans his jawline against it and sets it on his shoulder, slightly plucking at the strings; listening to the tune of the cords. The sight of him with your violin next to his face is a magical sight to behold and you make sure to save that in your memory bank.

“How long have you been playing for?” His eyes now on you and you glance down at your nails, picking at the nail polish that had been there for a few weeks now. ”Since I was 16. My dad use to play Violin for a living, so I guess I had a natural talent for it.” You see him nodding slightly and he continues to play with different cords, zoning you out.

It’s at this moment that it dawns on you that your alone with the front man. You glance around the room to see if you can spot Kirk and Jason but they must have had wandered off. Swallowing hard you can feel your mouth suddenly becoming dry, you grab your water bottle and take a gulp. Calm down. He won’t bite. I mean, I wouldn’t mind if he did bite…. You sigh and take another sip. James glances up at you with a eyebrow raised slightly.

”Something on your mind?” Almost choking on your water, you shake your head and see him slightly confused before shrugging and handing back your violin to you. “It’s very beautiful.”

“Thank you, I mean its nothing compared to your guitars and all the amps but it does it job.” He grins. ”Hey you have a Union, your already winning here.” You laugh. “Ever played guitar before?” Shaking your head slightly, you let out a sigh.

“Nah, never had the chance. When I did music class in school, all the ‘Cool kids’-” You lift your fingers in quotation marks “-would always take them and attempt to play, attempt being the word, while I stuck to the geeky instruments.” He lets out a chuckle and you smile. “I do remember asking my Mother if she could buy one for me but by that time she was very much on the Violin train, since it was something I already could work with.”

“Still want to give it a go?”

You stare at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

Suddenly he’s up and walking down to where his guitars are sitting and you slowly get up and follow him down to the front of the stage. He grabs a shiny black guitar and hands it to you. Grabbing it from the neck you stand there awkwardly, as he grabs the same type of guitar but in white. Throwing the towel on his neck down he tosses the guitar strap over his wide shoulders and then glances at you. ”Come on, put it on.” Cautiously you put the guitar strap on, feeling the weight of the guitar around the back of your neck and shoulders when a quick thought crosses your mind and now terrified you grip slightly harder on the instrument not wanting to break it, then getting sent a bill for a billion dollars since it was one of JAMES HETFIELDS GUITARS. ”Now.” He strums lazily on his guitar. “Do you know any cords?” You shake your head. “I’m completely new to all of this, I mean I don’t think I can lean it on my shoulder, it weighs just slightly heavier than my violin.” He grins and walks over standing in front of you. Staring up at him you feel minuscule lock your knees in an attempt to make sure you don’t fall over from either the weight of the guitar or the sudden aroma of his scent now attacking your senses from him being so close. ”I mean you could try but I don’t think it will work the same. Here do you see where my fingers are?” Glancing down at the neck of his guitar, you nod. “This is a simple and easy cord, E major.” He strums and it comes out crystal clean. “Give it a try.” You place your fingers where James had his and strum, cringing when it comes out rough and nothing like what he just played. ”Huh, I think this guitar isn’t tuned cause that didn’t sound the same at all.” He laughs at the statement and shakes his head. ”Put your fingers just above the frets, the lines on the guitar, the closer to them the better sounding and making sure to hold down with the tip of your fingers, tightly but not too tight, don’t want sore fingers afterwards.” He winks at you and you can’t help but blush and nod. Following his instructions again, you strum once more, this time sounding somewhat the same as James had played. You can’t help but grin and strum up and down, listening to the cord you are now playing. ”Very good!” You see him with a wide smile and a glint in his eye with amusement. “You’re a natural.” ”Nah, your just a good teacher.” Once again he laughs at the statement and then suddenly starts to play the main riff from Master of puppets. Standing so close, you watch as his fingers move quickly up and down the neck of the guitar, as his other hand moves at lightning speed. Once he stops, you shake your head in disbelief and laugh. “Don’t ask me to do that though, no way in hell.” ”Ahh, in time you could learn this easy. If I can do it, than you can do it.” You roll your eyes at the man Of course you can do it, you made the riff! and take off the guitar handing it back to him. ”Are you corrupting my violinist, Mr.Hetfield?” You turn to see Kamen walking back on stage with Lars in tow. ”Hey we always need more female guitarists in the world.” He looks at you and winks before walking back to the guitar stand and placing the guitar away. What is with these boys and winking? Are they trying to turn me into a puddle? ”No fair.” Lars appears besides you and grabs your arm, making you jump at the contact. “We need more drummers.” He pulls you over to his drum kit and motions you to sit down. You throw your hands up in surrender. ”Nah uh, Nope.” Backing up, you suddenly hit something hard against your back and glance behind you to see you had crashed straight into James’s broad chest. Jumping like a cat that’s been thrown into water, you make sure to stand a few feet away from the boys while you try to revive your now collapsed lungs. Oh my god “Shit. Sorry.” Kamen lets out a laugh and James smiles at you before pulling a thinking face. He then nods towards Lars. ”Your right. We do need more drummers, Lars.” Lars makes a shocked face, glancing and pointing at Kamen and yourself. ”You two are witnesses, He finally agreed with me on something.”

”Yeah that we need more drummers who will actually play in time.” Lars lets out a bunch of swear words in danish and flips James off, as the rest of you laugh. You glance around the room and start to notice more people walking back on stage. Looking up at the clock on the wall, you groan. 15 minutes had flown pass and it was almost time to start up again, with a sigh you rub the top of your head. ”Time to get back at it then.” Slowly making your way back to your seat, you hear James voice echo behind you. ”Now don’t play too fast Violin girl. I’ll be keeping my eye on you.” You turn to look at him and see a playful look on his face and can’t help but smile back. ”Try to keep up Hetfield.” This time you wink at him and almost laugh when you see his eyebrows shoot up. A feral grin then appears on his face and he grips his guitar a little tighter. ”Bring it on.”

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[canaryatlaw]

Well today was overall fine, accomplished enough I suppose and nothing went too terrible. Woke up around 1:30 (bless) which was glorious, ate some cocoa krispies (note: whenever I say I ate breakfast on one of these posts it means I ate cocoa krispies. I always eat cocoa krispies) then got ready and took my little cart thing out and hopped on a bus to make a target trip. There's no route directly there, so I either have to walk a bit east then hop on a bus a bit south, or hop on a bus a bit south and then walk a bit east, lol, and I did the second today. I needed to make the target trip because this week I was actually out of sodastream gas canisters, which are actually what powers my life so I had to get the refills of those, along with a few other random items like, mouthwash. Of course I raided their dollar section (that is really their $3 section at this point, but oh well) and couldn't help but buy like 3 candles and more string lights for my room cuz they're cheap and cute and I don't care, lol. Did some basic food shopping, what I'll need for dinner tonight and the next week or so, and heavy cream if I ever get around to making caramels like I want to at some point. Wandered around the store a bit after that, spent a solid 10 minutes contemplating their underwear selection and trying to decide if I wanted to try something other than the exact brand size and style I've been wearing for like, ten years because everything else rides up and makes me uncomfortable, and ended up deciding to just go with it (for the record, I have tried other stuff over the years, and been unhappy with them). I looked through their pajama selection and really wanted this cute summery set of a gryffindor tank and shorts but it was 98% polyester so there goes that idea. They had a few other things but nothing all that great. I did dare venture over to the clothing section for a few minutes, and got a cute tank top and a pair of sporty leggings that I'm hoping will stay on better while I'm working out (I've noticed lately, mainly when I'm like, in the middle of working out, that whatever sweatpants I'm wearing have a tendency to fall down) then finally headed to check out. Walked a bit back and then had to wait for way too long for the bus but I didn't want another half hour of walk, so I waited. Got home around 5, put my stuff away and started working on the project for about two hours. I was working on perfecting the mission and vision statement as well as working on the portion about future plans for the org. That was hard because like, I want to turn in this plan for this nationwide org with community centers everywhere but like, this is a plan we're making to start a nonprofit lol, not an idea for an already established one, so I had to do some rewriting of my original concept and then think of things to add to the future developments beyond more community centers in different cities. Then I worked on a smaller portion about my experience and how it makes me equipped for the job, which put me just at 11 pages, so not bad. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna handle the actual presentation, cuz like there's very specific parameters set out in the paper for what there needs to be in it, but the presentation is just based on the paper, it doesn't say what exactly, and he's said several times he doesn't want us just reading from a paper, but also saying he doesn't care about PowerPoints or stuff like that- just that we're familiar enough with the material to talk about it confidently and not need to read straight from our notes. So I may make a presentation cheat sheet of major points at some point tomorrow that could be helpful. Basically the presentation is supposed to be us pitching the idea of the nonprofit to potential finders, for them to decide if they would want to fund us or not. I think I have a good amount of info about programs and such set up, I need to do the more technical elements of setting up a board of directors and everything, and actually figure out a budget (which I probably won't include in the presentation but will need for the paper, and God am I not looking forward to doing that) and other tying up factors. But I think I'm in a good spot and I should be able to pull everything together tomorrow for my presentation Monday. At 7 I stopped because I wanted to make dinner. I've been having this issue lately where I'll make my big meal on the weekend but then not want to eat it during the week for whatever reason and end up throwing most of it out which I really had doing, so I thought I'd try to do something I know is good and that I'll want to eat, so I did this cheesy chicken broccoli and rice thing that's fairly easy to make and also tastes way better than you would expect it to lol so hopefully that will do the trick for during the week. After I finished cooking I sat down on my couch to watch some tv, and found out training day had started about 5 minutes prior (it was like, 8:05 at this point). I never keep track of when my shows actually air, so sometimes I'll turn on my tv and find out one of them is actually on). So I caught up on that pretty quickly and watched it. Somewhat of a meh episode for me, not that I didn't like the plot because I did, I think I just missed Katrina Law's character because she was in like, one scene. But that was fine. I didn't have anything else recorded so I went back over to 24:Legacy which I ended up watching for the rest of the night and finishing, and I have to say, by the last 3 episodes I was all in on this in true 24 fashion, finally feeling it like I did with the original show and oh, how I've missed that feeling. It took a while to get there obviously, but it was worth it because those episodes were fantastic. Spoilers ahead, obviously, but I was sad they did end up killing Rebecca, though that much should've been obvious once Sims or whatever his name was did his little speech about after this she would be like a war criminal. But I was sad because I gained so much respect for her character over those episodes, like what a fucking BADASS she is to take on a hostage negotiation like that and just totally call their bluff when he life was on the line, like holy crap she was just killing it. I loved it when her and Eric just went rogue, that finally felt very 24, with its rogue agents receiving unofficial support from CTU. Even Keith (I learned his name and have stopped calling him zoom guy!!!) was pretty awesome in the end of definitely did his part, something not always true for past CTU directors. Of course there was massive incompetence in letting terrorist #1 escape, but that was clearly just because they needed it for the plot, not that it would actually happen like that. I have to talk about the ending with the girl and Eric and Tony though. TONY. My bby. First of all, hearing him utter the words "I have to help CTU" made my little fangirl heart so happy because even after all of this he was going to help them and it just ahhhh <3. With the showdown at the house I was just like, yelling the whole time STOP FIGHTING YOURE FRIENDS YOU JUST DONT KNOW IT so I was pleased when that basically happened lol and of course Tony was like uh yeah of course go take the kid and save Rebecca. This girl though, and Eric protecting her, broke my fucking heart. Like yes, I know, this is all fictional. But that poor little girl. She was so little, so entirely innocent, and treated so horribly by the government that it was abominable. Seeing Eric being so gentle and kind to her was perfect, and that scene where they're waiting for the helicopter and she's telling him about the names of the flowers and the trees had me in like, tears just out of the sheer preciousness of the scene, like, holy crap, it was such a poignant and well done moment that stood out so well from all the violence and terrorism going on around it. I very much enjoyed that, and of course seeing that the girl was in fact safe. They obviously set themselves up for a second season, but I still of course protest to having a 12 episode season of a show called 24 when the entire damn concept is it happens over 24 hours, lol. Also, I freaked out when they time jumped the last 15 minutes because HEY, THAT IS SO AGAINST THE RULES. YOU MADE THE RULES, AND THERE ARENT THAT MANY OF THEM, BUT YOU JUST BROKE A MAJOR RULE AND THATS NOT COOL, MAN. Lol. I'm not sure what to think about John and what he's gonna do now, but it would be interesting to see him as president next season (though tbh I'll just be sad Rebecca isn't there with him because she's just such a badass character I can't help but miss her). But yeah, clearly I had feelings about all of that haha as you can see from all I just ranted. But yeah, I finished that and started getting ready for bed and now it's late and I should go to sleep, so I'm gonna do that now. Church in the morning, then we'll see. Goodnight friends. I hope you sleep well.