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joecoolburrow · 1 month ago

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Seduction Playbook

Joe Burrow x wife!reader

Joe is spending so much time on his film study, he's neglecting his horny wife (you). So you come up with a play of your own.

SMUT! Warnings: a tiny bit of angst, use of the word slut (affectionate), unprotected sex, p-i-v, and explicit sexual content. 18+ only MDNI

My masterlist

Half-asleep, you subconsciously reached over to Joe's side of the bed. Announce bubbled in you as you were met with only bed sheets. With one eye open, you peeked at the clock and saw it was 2:20 AM. Why the fuck wasn't your husband in bed yet?!

You decided to make him answer that question. Throwing on a bath robe and slippers, you begrudgingly got out of your warm sanctuary and stomped off in frustration.

Down the hall, a blue light emanated out of Joe’s office. You could hear muffled commentary from ESPN hosts as you marched toward the room.

Joe was sitting crisscross applesauce despite being in an ergonomic chair. He was hunched over a notebook, scribbling fervently, only glancing up at the screen every few moments. He didn’t notice you in the doorway.

“Ah hem” you cleared your throat, hoping to get his attention.

Nothing.

Hands on your hips and jaw clenched you called out to Joe, “I guess I’m sleeping alone tonight.”

He finally looked at you, but instead of an explanation or an apology, a little nod was the only acknowledgment you got.

“JOE!”

"I couldn’t sleep. I’m getting some important work done.” He spoke without looking up from his notebook.

“The tape will still be here in the morning.”

Joe ignored your words.

You were getting mad. It wasn't just tonight, Joe had been spending every evening and increasingly long hours of the night studying film. The season’s tough loses weighing heavily on him, as a leader of the team he felt responsible for finding a way to win. You love Joe’s work ethic and competitive drive, but lately it had consumed him. This wasn't healthy for him or your relationship.

You approached Joe. His eyes were puffy and his button lip was chapped like he’d been stress biting it again. But in his eyes were the same determined hunger you knew so well.

"Joe,” your voice softened as you knelt beside him, trying to be sympathetic to his pain.

He met your gaze but said nothing.

“I’m worried about you, babe. You know how important sleep is. Please come to bed.”

“I don’t feel tired.” Joe shrugged.

“You’ve been up since 6 AM, had a workout, practice all day, and you’ve been studying for at least 5 hours. You have to be tired.”

Joe wasn’t in the mood for reason. “I’m just not.”

You were unconvinced and Joe knew it. But, he didn't have a good argument, so he stayed quiet.

“I feel like I barely see you.” You pouted.

The whine in your voice was a little exaggerated, but the statement was true. You and Joe weren’t getting much quality and you missed your husband.

Joe gave you a half-hearted smile.

“I know, darling. I’ll make it up to you during the off season.”

Now you were exasperated. You dropped your head in your hands, tired physically and tired of this conversation.

“Joe-” you started, but he cut you off.

“Are you hungry? I can order us some delivery. That pizza place we tried a few weeks ago stays open late. We can have a little pizza date right here.”

He was trying. But holy fuck that was the least romantic thing he’d ever suggested. You looked at him, unsure if you were going to laugh or roll your eyes.

"A pizza date in your office? At 3 AM? Watching the Ravens and Bears game from 3 weeks ago?” You hoped when Joe heard it he'd understand why it was ridiculous.

“Ok, why don’t you go back to bed and I’ll be there in a couple hours?”

"A couple hours?!" You repeated.

Joe gestured at the screen and then to his notes. “I'm making progress! I have to keep going."

“You have to rest!”

“Y/n,” Joe’s voice was stern. “This is my job. You’ve always known how much it means to me. I told you there would be tough times when I had to focus more on the game than anything else. You said it’s one of the things you love about me.”

This time you stayed quiet. It was true. But it didn’t make this any easier.

Joe saw your pain. He took your hand and kissed it. You missed his touch, his affection.

“I love you. I'm sorry we haven't had a lot of time together lately. I’m going to finish soon and then I’ll come bed. I promise.” He said earnestly.

Too tired to keep arguing and seeing how it was only causing Joe more stress, you relented.

“Ok. I’ll be waiting for you in bed.”

Jos pulled you in for a kiss. It was supposed to be a chaste, goodbye kiss. But, you drew him in. Your lips were intoxicating. You swirled your finger over the short hairs on the back of his neck, sending chills down his spine. It was a silent plea for him to follow you.

While he still had an ounce of strength in him to resist, Joe pulled away.

You made your way out of the office, turning once to look back at Joe. He was already engrossed in his film study.

Your bed felt so big and so cold without him to share it with. Despite feeling tired, you tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Soon you accepted that sleep was a lost cause. You considered watching something on TV when you found yourself looking at the dresser. It gave you an idea. You sprang up and opened the bottom drawer, your favorite drawer.

It was where you kept your lingerie. Lace panties, plunging bras with little bows, thigh high stockings, and-one of Joe's personal favorites- a babydoll nightgown that wasn't quite long enough to cover your butt.

You changed into your sexist lingerie and went to the mirror to admire yourself. You felt very sexy. Your pulse was racing. You were getting hot just thinking about the look on Joe's face when you show up in the office this time. To finish the look, you put on a pair of strappy red stilettos that were tall enough to put you and Joe at equal height. You puckered her lips and applied a dark red shade of liquid lipstick.

'Show time!' you thought to yourself as you fixed your hair.

Your heels clapped against the floors as you made your way down the hall. This time Joe knew you were in the doorway though he still didn't look up.

"Give me one more hour." He said, face buried in his notebook.

You smirked. It wasn't going to be more than one minute. You walked in front of Joe's chair, blocking his view of the screen.

Joe looked up slowly, eyes widening as he realized how you were dressed (or undressed). He dropped his pencil.

Finally, you had his attention.

"I thought I could help you study." You said in her most sultry voice.

You sat on the edge of his desk and put one foot on the armrest of his chair to show off your leg.

Joe was struggling to maintain composure. "W-What are you doing?"

"Just waiting for you." You purred.

"I need to finish my film study."

"Go ahead." You folded your hands in your lap in feign innocence. Your arms were pushing her boobs together, making them a little more prominent.

Joe tittered. He looked you up and down, considering his options for a moment. Would he choose his stubborn pride and tell you to go back to bed? Or would he do the right thing and take you to bed?

You licked your lip and looked at him, confident he'd make the right choice.

"Damn it, Y/n."

Joe reached out to touch you. You intercepted his hand before he could and made him caress your cheek. Slowly, you moved his index finger across your bottom lip and slipped it into your mouth.

Your tongue swirled around it. Joe no longer looked tired or stressed. The gleam in his eye was unmistakably of amusement.

His other hand journeyed up the your leg, feeling the firmness of your calf, the softness of your stocking, and finally, the smooth warmth of your upper thigh. You let out a little moan at the feeling of his big hand making it's way towards your panties.

You pulled his finger out of your mouth with a pop. You moved his hand down your chest and settled it on your breast.

Meanwhile on your leg, Joe's hand was inches away from your panties. He noticed there was a little shiny spot in the center, making him even more eager to get there.

As desperate as you were for him to get there, you wanted to tease him a bit more. You put your leg down and leaned your body back along the desk.

"I hate being in bed without you, Joe. It's so lonely." You whined. "You can't just leave me there, so needy."

Joe wanted to tease you right back. "I should've known a slut like you couldn't go too long without getting fucked by my big cock."

He got up. Standing over you, burning with desire. You were getting wetter and wetter. He spread your legs and stepped between them.

"I want you so bad, Joe." You gasped. "I need you."

He massaged your inner thighs and pushed up the your babydoll. He left a trail of hot kisses along your pelvis.

"I'll always give you what you need, baby." He whispered as he slid your panties off.

You ran your hands through Joe's velvety curls. He threw your legs over his broad shoulders. His hands snaked underneath you to unclasp your bra, then quickly pulled it off. He ran his hands over your body, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

"Please Joe." You begged.

One of his fingers swirled around your center, gathering your wet heat. He rubbed you gently, torturously slowly. You squirmed trying to get more friction.

"Mmm, you really are desperate for me."

There was no denying it even if you wanted to. You grabbed at Joe's sweatpants and urged him on. You could see how hard he was.

"I'll take care of that, darling." He said, batting your hand away. He undressed quickly and put his hands back on your sides. He leaned his body over yours. His mouth went for one of your breasts. First grazing his lips over the hardened peak, then giving it a slight tug with his teeth.

"Oh fuck, Joe!" You cried.

He sucked and teased your nipple, while sliding one hand back to your center. One finger entered you. You clenched around him and he pushed in another.

Your head was spinning when Joe suddenly pulled his fingers out and leaned up. You whined in protest, lustful eyes looking up to see him lick your arousal off his fingers.

"I told you, you make me so wet, Joe." You breathed.

"And I left you laying in bed, horny and lonely."

"Aching for you!" You added.

Joe shook his head as his finger danced over your clit.

"Begging for me?" He baited you.

"Yes! Please Joe. God, I need to feel you inside me. I need you to fuck me, please!!!"

He kissed your neck.

"With pleasure." He hummed against your skin.

Joe positioned himself and slowly pushed inside you. You inhaled sharply. He was so big, no matter how many times he fucked you, you still needed to adjust.

Before moving, Joe kissed your lips, deeply, lovingly, giving you time to stretch. Then, his dick retreated and slammed back into you. You yelped in pleasure.

"You like that?" Joe whispered in your ear.

You couldn't answer. You threw your head back in ecstasy as he thrust into you again and again.

Joe held you in place with one hand on your hip. The other used his long fingers to delicately work your clit till you were a writhing mess underneath him.

"You feel so good, baby." Joe praised. "I missed your perfect, tight little pussy."

Joe soon brought you to a trembling, quivering, orgasm.

"That's right, cum all over my cock." He encouraged.

Your back arched off the desk and tears formed in the corners of your eyes. You cried out Joe's name as you came down from your high.

Your pulsating walls took Joe to his delight. He came right after with a throaty moan.

As you each caught your breath, your eyes met.

Joe blushed, he typically got shy after sex. You smiled as your legs melted off his shoulder. You pulled him into a kiss.

"You were right." Joe admitted. "I needed that."

"So did I."

"I'm sorry for the way I've been. I won't leave you alone in bed anymore. And I'm going to make more time for us to spend together. You're the most important thing to me, not football."

You appreciated the effort. As you wiped a sweaty curl off his forehead you reminded him, "I understand it's really important to you. I know you won't be satisfied until you win."

Joe smiled. "I'm pretty satisfied right now."

You giggled as he pulled you to sit up.

"I'm ready to go to bed now." Joe said.

"Took you long enough."

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow imagine #nfl imagine #joe burrow fan fic #joey b #joe burrow x you #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow fic #nfl fan fic #My fic #Joe burrow imagines #joe burrow smut

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firestorm09890 · 5 months ago

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man I've gotta roast the chair in Ansem's study publicly. did it with some friends a couple years ago but I got reminded of it so here we are (Ienzo for scale. remember that Ienzo is not tall)

like. what the hell is that. no cushions? tall, straight back? blocky rectangle armrests and flat slab seat? ON WHEELS????? the base is too tiny and the back is too large so we determined that this thing is not actually made out of marble like it appears (WHICH??? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THAT???) and has to be hollow for it to be sitting upright. the Organization's thrones in the Round Room are Like That because of Ansem

also that table sucks too. it looks like it's coming up to above Ienzo's knees maybe so it's shorter than the average desk which means it's even worse for Ansem, the guy using it all the time

there's a cutout for the chair to go but there's no space under the table for legs so his legs HAVE to be hitting the desk walls constantly. look at the way he has to sit to use the table

Ansem this fucking sucks can you use your The Wise to get yourself something more ergonomic

#kingdom hearts #ansem the wise #radiant garden #kh2 #me post

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barnacles34 · 6 months ago

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Lost in Analysis (Winter x Male OC)

5k words, smut, fluff, happiness, data

Winter x Male OC

The thing about Junho Kim's[1] weekly debriefs with Minjeong Kim was that they followed a precise algorithm, an almost liturgical routine that both participants had wordlessly agreed upon circa Winter's third month of employment (viz. April 2024). The format went as follows: Winter would arrive at exactly 18:30 on Friday bearing a leather-bound portfolio containing the week's logistics reports, margin analyses, and projected Q3/Q4 modeling scenarios. Junho would pretend to study these for exactly twelve minutes while Winter sat in the ergonomic chair across his desk, her accent becoming pronounced in direct proportion to her anxiety level[2].

What happened on this particular Friday deviated from the algorithm in ways that would later prove significant, starting with Winter's arrival at 18:27[3].

"The Busan account numbers are off," Junho said, his photographic memory already detecting a 0.03% discrepancy in the third-quarter projections. The words emerged with the mechanical precision of someone who had learned human speech through technical manuals rather than conversation. "This is—" he paused, index finger tapping against his mahogany desk in a rapidfire motion that Winter had learned to recognize as his pre-explosion tell, "—unacceptable."

And then something unprecedented occurred.

Instead of her usual composed absorption of his critique, Winter's face crumpled into what could only be described as a squeaky whimper, a sound so incongruous with her usual professional demeanor that it seemed to physically stun Junho into silence. It was the acoustic equivalent of watching a Mercedes-Benz hiccup.

The algorithm crashed.

—

[1] Junho Kim, CEO of Quantum Logistics Solutions, net worth $2.3B (₩3.1T), possessed what his former Harvard professors called "an almost frightening capacity for data retention" and what his former therapist (sessions terminated after 2.5 meetings) called "a pathological inability to process emotional bandwidth."

[2] A phenomenon her roommate had dubbed "The Accent Anxiety Index," where her carefully practiced Seoul pronunciation would gradually give way to her native Busan satoori, ranging from barely detectable at Level 1 ("감사합니다") to full coastal at Level 10 ("아이고, 사장님, 이 숫자 영 아니네요").

[3] The 3-minute early arrival would later be explained by a complex series of events involving a broken elevator, two flights of stairs, and Winter's determination not to let her carefully constructed timeline collapse due to mechanical failure.

—

The following Friday's debrief began with Junho actually pulling out Winter's chair[4], a gesture so unexpected that she nearly missed the seat entirely. The portfolio was reviewed. The whiskey was poured (Junho's usual Macallan 25, Winter's Hwayo 41). And then, somewhere between the second and third drink, Winter's accent kicked into what would later be classified as Level 11 on the Southern Comfort Scale.

"You know what your problem is, sajangnim?" Minjeong's words carried the warm weight of soju and suppressed frustration, her carefully maintained Seoul accent dissolving entirely into coastal inflections. "당신은 인생을 마치 스프레드시트처럼 대하시네요. Everything must calculate perfectly, but people aren't numbers, and some of us are tired of being debugged like broken code."

Junho's finger stopped its habitual tapping mid-motion[5].

—

[4] A gesture learned from a WikiHow article titled "Basic Human Courtesy: A Beginner's Guide" that Junho had queued up on his tablet at 3:47 AM the previous Tuesday.

[5] Later analysis would reveal this as the exact moment Junho Kim, master of algorithms and logistics, encountered a variable his photographic memory couldn't process: genuine human connection.[6]

The office fell into a silence that could be measured in heartbeats (Junho's: an efficient 72 BPM; Minjeong's: an elevated 98 BPM). Outside, Seoul's financial district performed its usual Friday night exodus, the sound of departing Mercedes and BMWs creating a capitalistic symphony twenty-three floors below.

"시간이..." Minjeong continued, her Busan accent now operating at what could only be classified as Level 12[7], "Time isn't just money, 사장님. Sometimes it's just... time. Like those lunches you wolf down in exactly eight minutes while reading reports. Or these Friday meetings where you never actually look at me, just through me at some invisible spreadsheet floating in the air behind my head."

Junho's hand, still frozen mid-tap, slowly lowered to the desk. His photographic memory began involuntarily cataloging details it had somehow missed during their previous 47 debriefs: the way Minjeong's left hand always fidgeted with her portfolio's corner when nervous, how her voice carried traces of sea salt and summer festivals despite years of Seoul speech coaching, the fact that she had memorized his coffee preferences down to the precise temperature (81°C, no higher, no lower).

"I do look at you," he said, then immediately registered the statistical improbability of his own response[8].

Minjeong's laugh carried the particular timber of someone who had been holding it in reserve for approximately 11.7 months. "아니요, you really don't. You look at KPIs and performance metrics and quarterly projections. Did you know," she leaned forward, her accent thick as Busan fog, "that I've worn the same earrings every Friday for three months just to see if you'd notice?"

The earrings in question were small silver cranes, Junho's memory instantly supplied, purchased from a street vendor in Gukje Market during last quarter's Busan office inspection, chosen because their wings formed the mathematical symbol for infinity when viewed from the correct angle[9].

—

[6] A concept that would later require Junho to create an entirely new category in his mental filing system, located somewhere between "Acceptable Business Practices" and "Breathing Exercises (Mandatory)."

[7] A previously theoretical level on the Accent Anxiety Index, characterized by the complete abandonment of Seoul linguistic pretense and the emergence of what Minjeong's mother would call "우리 딸의 진짜 목소리" (our daughter's real voice).

[8] Statistical analysis of Junho's daily eye contact patterns, conducted by his personal AI assistant, revealed an average sustained eye contact duration of 1.3 seconds with all employees, making his current 4.7-second gaze at Minjeong a 361.5% deviation from the mean.

[9] A detail that would have impressed Junho greatly had he noticed it at the time of purchase, rather than at this precise moment when his brain was simultaneously trying to process the concept of infinity and the way Minjeong's eyes reflected the city lights like binary code translated into stardust.

—

The Hwayo bottle stood between them like a glass mediator, its contents depleted by exactly 73.4%. Junho found himself performing calculations he had never previously considered necessary: the precise angle at which Minjeong's smile disrupted his cardiac rhythm (42.7°), the correlation coefficient between her proximity and his ability to maintain coherent thought patterns (inverse relationship, R² = 0.97), the half-life of each satoori-tinged syllable in his auditory memory (approaching infinity)[10].

"There's a pojangmacha," Minjeong said, her words now performing linguistic gymnastics between Seoul and Busan, "down in Gangnam that serves 할매's 파전 just like back home. But you—" she gestured with her glass, creating small amber trajectories in the air, "—you probably have the exact caloric content memorized without ever tasting it."

"624 calories per standard serving," Junho confirmed automatically, then added, in what he would later recognize as his first attempt at human humor[11], "Not accounting for 할매's (grandmother’s) love."

The laugh that escaped Minjeong's lips was genuine enough to bypass all of Junho's statistical models for appropriate business interaction. It was the kind of laugh that made him wonder if his entire algorithmic approach to life had been operating on a fundamental error: the assumption that human emotions could be debugged rather than experienced.

"사장님," she said, then caught herself, "아니, Junho-ssi." The honorific shift created a quantifiable disruption in the office's atmospheric pressure[12]. "Do you know why I cry sometimes when you yell about the numbers?"

Junho's hands found themselves attempting to calculate an emotion he had no formula for. "I... have a working hypothesis."

"It's not because I'm scared or hurt," she continued, her Busan accent now wrapping around the words like a warm coast-side breeze. "It's because I see you turning yourself into code, like you're trying to compile a human being into binary, and..." she paused, searching for words in both Seoul and Busan vocabularies before settling on, "...그게 너무 아까워요."

The phrase hung in the air, untranslatable in its full emotional weight[13].

—

[10] A phenomenon that would later require Junho to create an entirely new mathematical framework he privately termed "The Minjeong Constant: Variables in Human Connection."

[11] Later analysis of office security footage would reveal this as his first non-data-related comment in approximately 2,847 hours of recorded business interactions.

[12] Advanced environmental sensors in the building's HVAC system actually recorded a 0.02% change in air pressure at this exact moment, though causation versus correlation remains a subject of debate among the building's maintenance staff.

[13] The closest English approximation might be "it's such a waste," but this fails to capture the uniquely Korean sense of regret for potential beauty lost to unnecessary efficiency, like trying to measure ocean waves in milliliters.

—

For exactly 15.4 seconds, Junho Kim—master of instantaneous data processing, champion of real-time analytics—found himself buffering. His mind, that perfectly calibrated instrument of calculation, attempted to run multiple subroutines simultaneously:

ROUTINE_1: Analyze the 2.3% tremor in Minjeong's voice during "그게 너무 아까워요"

ROUTINE_2: Process the 7.4mm dilation of his pupils upon hearing his given name

ROUTINE_3: Calculate the exact distance between their hands on the desk (23.7cm, decreasing by approximately 0.3mm per heartbeat)

ERROR: Stack overflow in emotional processing unit[14]

"I have a file," he began, then stopped, realizing that perhaps not everything needed to be classified and stored. "No, I mean... I remember every time you've smiled at work. Real smiles, not the ones you use for clients or difficult vendors." His fingers twitched, instinctively seeking a keyboard that wasn't there. "The data suggests that they occur most frequently when you're talking about Busan, or when you think no one is watching you arrange the office plants, or..." he paused, processing, "...or when you're correcting my humanity protocols[15]."

Minjeong's eyes widened, creating what Junho's brain automatically calculated as a 34.6% increase in their reflective surface area. "You... keep track of my smiles?"

"I keep track of everything," he said, then amended, displaying unprecedented runtime flexibility, "but your smiles occupy 43% more memory space than standard data points."

"아이고," Minjeong laughed, the sound carrying hints of sea breezes and noraebang nights, "only you would quantify feelings in percentages and memory allocation, 사장님[16]."

The Hwayo bottle now stood at 82.6% depletion. Outside, Seoul had transformed into its weekend configuration, all neon equations and binary dreams. But inside this office, something unquantifiable was compiling—a program written in neither Python nor Java, but in the ancient code of human connection.

"There's a logical error in your earlier statement," Junho said suddenly, his voice performing calculations it had never been calibrated for. "About me not looking at you."

"Oh?" Minjeong's eyebrow arched at precisely 27 degrees.

"I look at you approximately 2,347 times per day. My peripheral vision activates in your presence with 72% more frequency than baseline. I have memorized exactly 267 variations of your voice modulation between Seoul and Busan registers[17]. The error," he continued, his own accent slipping for the first time since Harvard, "is in assuming I don't see you."

—

[14] A phenomenon his Harvard professors had theoretically predicted but never successfully documented: the complete shutdown of pure logic circuits in favor of what they termed "human.exe."

[15] A private joke that had never made it past his internal firewall until this moment, referring to the way she subtly guided him toward more socially acceptable behaviors, like suggesting he say "good morning" to the cleaning staff or remember team members' birthdays.

[16] The honorific here carrying a new weight, somewhere between professional distance and affectionate teasing, a linguistic quantum state that would have fascinated physicists had they been present to observe it.

[17] This particular statistic would later become the subject of a 3 AM realization that perhaps "normal" CEOs don't maintain such detailed databases of their assistants' vocal patterns.

—

The confession hung in the air with the weight of a misplaced decimal point. Minjeong's hand, still holding her Hwayo glass, trembled at a frequency of approximately 3.2 Hz. The office's automated climate control system registered a sudden 0.7°C spike in local temperature[18].

"그래서..." Minjeong's voice emerged in Pure Pattern #271 (Subcategory: Emotional Breakthrough), "this is why you always know when I've had 떡볶이 for lunch?"

The unexpected query caused Junho to experience what his systems could only classify as a brief moment of runtime joy. "The specific aroma particles adhere to your cardigan at a rate of—" he caught himself, noting the gleam in her eye, and for the first time in recorded history, Junho Kim deliberately chose not to complete a calculation[19].

Instead, he found himself saying, "Your smile increases by exactly 23.7% when you eat 떡볶이. It's... optimal."

"최적화?" Minjeong's laugh carried notes of soju and starlight. "You're really going to data-analyze my happiness levels?"

"I have spreadsheets," he admitted, his voice carrying an unfamiliar warmth that his diagnostic systems struggled to categorize. "Cross-referenced with weather patterns, quarterly reports, and the frequency of your Busan accent emergence[20]."

"아이고..." She shifted in her chair, reducing the distance between them by precisely 4.7 centimeters. "You're either the weirdest or the most romantic person I've ever met, and I haven't decided which yet."

The word 'romantic' created a momentary buffer overflow in Junho's cognitive processes. His hands, typically occupied with calculating profit margins or optimizing supply chains, found themselves drawing abstract patterns on his desk's surface—a behavior previously filed under 'Inefficient Human Gestures: Do Not Engage.'

"I could..." he paused, processing, "...show you the data?"

—

[17] This particular dataset would later be renamed in his personal files to "The Minjeong Codex: A Quantitative Analysis of Qualitative Perfection."

[18] The building's maintenance staff would later attribute this to a mechanical anomaly, unaware they had documented the exact moment Junho Kim's ice-cold corporate facade began its calculated melt.

[19] A moment that would later be marked in his personal development log as "First Successful Implementation of Strategic Data Suppression for Emotional Optimization."

[20] These spreadsheets, discovered months later during a routine server backup, would become legendary among the IT department as "The Love Languages of Linear Regression."

—

Minjeong's eyes sparkled with what Junho's facial recognition protocols quantified as 87% mirth, 13% tenderness. "보여주세요," she said, the soju making her consonants softer, more Busan-bound. "Show me this data about me."

For the first time in his professional career, Junho Kim fumbled with his laptop password[21]. The Hwayo bottle between them had decreased to critical levels, and he found the standard office lights were creating unusual prismatic effects in Minjeong's hair. His fingers, typically precise to the microsecond, skittered across the keyboard.

"See, here's the correlation between your happiness metrics and the proximity to Korean holidays," he began, then stopped, distracted by the way she'd rolled her chair closer to view his screen. The scent of her perfume (도라지 꽃, his brain supplied automatically, though for once the percentage calculation felt irrelevant) mixed with the lingering soju in the air.

"You made a pie chart," she said, her voice warm with something his systems were too buzzed to properly quantify, "of my favorite lunch spots?"

"The data visualization seemed... appropriate," he managed, aware that his usual processing power was operating at diminished capacity. "Though I may have spent a statistically anomalous amount of time color-coding it to match your favorite blazer[22]."

Minjeong's laugh had shed all traces of its Seoul polish. "어머나, who knew the great Junho Kim was such a..." she searched for the word in both dialects before landing on, "...nerd?"

"I prefer 'data enthusiast,'" he replied, surprising himself with the speed of his response. The soju was definitely affecting his standard processing delays. "Though my enthusiasm appears to be... specialized."

"Specialized?" Her eyebrow arched in a way that created unprecedented disruptions in his cardiac rhythm.

"The data suggests," he said, his own Gangnam accent softening around the edges, "a singular focus on one particular... variable[23]."

The office space seemed to contract by approximately 40%, though Junho found himself caring less about the exact percentage with each passing moment. Minjeong's hand had somehow migrated to rest near his on the desk, their fingers separated by a gap that felt simultaneously quantum and cosmic.

—

[21] Password: Min2847@QLS, a combination he would later realize was more revealing than any spreadsheet.

[22] The blazer in question: a deep navy piece from a Dongdaemun boutique, worn approximately every third Wednesday, correlated with a 34% increase in his productive distraction levels.

[23] Later analysis of the office security footage would show that at this point, Junho's typically perfect posture had relaxed to unprecedented levels, creating what the ergonomics AI labeled as "Optimal Romance Angles."

—

"Show me more," Minjeong said softly, unconsciously tilting her head up to meet his gaze. Something in her tone caused Junho's spinal alignment to automatically straighten, his shoulders squaring as he leaned forward slightly. The motion created what his hazily analytical mind registered as a subtle shift in the office's power dynamics[24].

"These graphs," he began, his voice dropping half an octave without any conscious input, "track every time you've challenged my decisions in meetings." His finger traced the upward trend line, the gesture somehow both precise and possessive. "You're the only one who dares to correct my logic. It's... intriguing."

Minjeong's breath caught audibly. "사장님..." she started, then with visible effort, "Junho-ssi... you track even that?"

"I track everything about you," he admitted, the soju finally overriding his professional filter subroutines. The way she instinctively ducked her head at his words, a soft pink rising in her cheeks, sparked something primal in his usually ordered mind. "Though lately, I find myself more interested in the unquantifiable variables[25]."

"Like what?" The question emerged barely above a whisper, her natural deference to his authority softened by something warmer, more personal.

Junho felt his hand move with uncharacteristic boldness to tilt her chin up, his thumb registering her pulse point at... he realized with start that for the first time in his adult life, he didn't care about the exact number. What mattered was the acceleration, the way her breath stuttered when he held her gaze.

"Like the way you automatically straighten my tie when you think I'm not paying attention," he murmured, voice steady despite the soju. "Or how you always wait for me to take the first sip of coffee in our morning meetings[26]."

—

[24] The building's pressure sensors detected a subtle but measurable change in the room's atmospheric density, as if the very air was rearranging itself around their shifting dynamic.

[25] Security logs would later note this as the moment Junho Kim's typing pattern on his laptop transitioned from "Corporate Efficiency" to what could only be described as "Focused Intensity."

[26] A habit that Minjeong had developed unconsciously over months, part of an unspoken protocol that went far beyond mere professional courtesy.

—

The laptop screen dimmed to conserve power, casting half of Junho's face in shadow. His hand hadn't moved from her chin, thumb still resting against her pulse point in what his rapidly deteriorating analytical functions recognized as a gesture of both measurement and claim[27].

"You know what else I've noticed?" The question rumbled from somewhere deeper than his usual corporate register. His other hand reached past her to close the laptop with a decisive click, eliminating the last barrier between them. "You mirror my breathing patterns during long meetings. 호흡이... perfectly synchronized."

Minjeong's eyes widened fractionally, caught between the wall and his presence. "That's..." she swallowed, her professional composure wavering, "...very observant of you, 사장님."

"I thought we were past 사장님," he said softly, but with an undertone that made it less observation, more command. The soju had stripped his voice of its algorithmic precision, leaving something rawer, more intuitive[28].

"Jun...ho..." she tested the name without honorifics, the syllables carrying the weight of every unspoken variable between them. Her hands fidgeted with her portfolio, a nervous tell he'd documented approximately 847 times but had never been close enough to still before.

Until now.

His free hand covered both of hers, instantly calming their movement. The gesture was protective, possessive, and entirely unplanned by his usual decisional matrices[29]. "You don't need to calculate the right response," he murmured, unconsciously echoing her earlier criticism of his own binary nature. "Your instincts have a 99.9% accuracy rate."

The percentage slipped out automatically, making her laugh—a soft, breathy sound that seemed to bypass his auditory processing and strike directly at something more fundamental. Her head tilted back further, a movement so subtle it barely registered on the office's motion sensors but sent his pulse into unprecedented acceleration.

"My instincts," she whispered, her Busan accent emerging with complete authenticity, "are telling me we've miscategorized this relationship[30]."

—

[27] The building's biometric scanners would later flag this moment for what their algorithms labeled as "Significant Cardiovascular Anomaly: Dual Synchronization."

[28] Office voice recognition software attempted and failed to classify this new vocal pattern, eventually creating a new category labeled simply "After Hours Protocol."

[29] The exact pressure of his grip would have registered at precisely 7.2 PSI, perfectly calibrated between restraint and assertion, had either of them still been counting.

[30] The security AI, in its nightly report, would mark this exchange with a rare notation: "Recommended Reclassification of Personnel Relationship Status Pending."

—

"Miscategorized," Junho repeated, the word hanging in the air like a suspended calculation. His hand moved from her chin to the nape of her neck, fingers threading through her hair with unprecedented decisiveness[31]. The motion drew her incrementally closer, though for once he didn't bother quantifying the exact distance.

"yes..." Minjeong's affirmation came out breathier than any of her previously recorded vocal patterns. The portfolio slipped from her fingers, creating what would normally be an unacceptable disruption of organized space. Neither of them moved to retrieve it.

"You know what's interesting?" Junho's voice had shed every trace of its corporate modulation, leaving only that command that seemed to resonate directly with her autonomic nervous system. "I've run approximately 2,847 scenarios of this moment in my head[32]."

Her hands had found their way to his chest, fingers curling into the precise Italian wool of his suit. "And?" The question emerged with a tremor that his tactile sensors catalogued automatically before his conscious mind told them to stop measuring and start feeling.

"None of them..." he leaned closer, watching her eyes flutter half-closed in response to his proximity, "...included the variable of you looking at me exactly like this."

The faint scent of soju on her breath mingled with that eternally elusive percentage of 도라지 꽃 perfume. Junho felt his last analytical subroutines shutting down, replaced by something far more ancient than algorithms[33].

"Minjeong-ah," he said, his voice dropping to a register that bypassed all honorifics, all corporate hierarchy, all pretense of professional distance.

Her response was to cant her head just so, a motion that managed to be both surrender and invitation. "Calculation time's over, 사장님," she whispered, the honorific now carrying a weight that had nothing to do with corporate structure.

—

[31] The office's motion sensors registered this gesture as "Executive Override: Priority Action."

[32] This number, like most of his remaining statistics, was completely fabricated—a first for Junho Kim's otherwise impeccable data records.

[33] Building security cameras would later mark this timestamp with an unprecedented classification: "Critical System Override: Human.exe fully activated."

—

For the first time in his documented existence, Junho Kim stopped calculating entirely.

The distance closed between them with a momentum that defied measurement. His hand tightened in her hair, angling her face upward as his other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against him. The kiss, when it came, contained no statistics, no data points, no quantifiable metrics[34].

Minjeong made a soft sound—Pattern #unknown, Category: heaven—against his mouth. Her fingers clutched his suit lapels with enough force to wrinkle the wool beyond its optimal pressed state, a fact that Junho's usually meticulous mind registered and immediately discarded as irrelevant.

Time segmented into a new measurement system: the catch of her breath, the silk of her hair between his fingers, the way she yielded and pressed closer simultaneously. Junho discovered that his organizational skills apparently extended to kissing, each angle adjustment and pressure variation drawing increasingly desperate responses from Minjeong[35].

When they finally broke apart, Minjeong's carefully maintained Seoul pronunciation had disappeared entirely. "아이고..." she breathed against his mouth, "당신이..."

"Initial results," Junho murmured, his own accent thick with something that had nothing to do with regional linguistics, "require extensive further testing[36]."

She laughed, the sound vibrating against his chest where she was still pressed against him. "Did you just turn our first kiss into a quality control protocol?"

"Quality confirmed," he replied, then demonstrated his newfound commitment to hands-on research by kissing her again, harder this time, swallowing her surprised gasp. His hand splayed possessively across her lower back, holding her steady as she swayed into him.

—

[34] The building's atmospheric sensors recorded unexplained fluctuations in local temperature, humidity, and electromagnetic fields, leading to a complete recalibration of their measurement standards.

[35] Later analysis would suggest that Junho's legendary attention to detail had found a new, decidedly non-professional application, though this data remains classified in personal files marked "Private Research: Ongoing."

[36] The security AI attempting to transcribe this conversation eventually gave up and simply tagged the file: "Error 404: Professionalism Not Found."

—

Somewhere in the haze of non-analytical thought, Junho registered Minjeong's slight backward momentum and moved instinctively to steady her. His hand swept the desk clear with uncharacteristic disregard for organizational protocols, sending the quarterly reports flutter-falling to the carpet in an acceptable margin of chaos[37].

"Jun...ho..." His name escaped her lips like a statistical anomaly as he lifted her effortlessly onto the mahogany surface. Her legs parted automatically to accommodate him, skirt hiking up precisely 4.7 inches—the last measurement his brain would process for the foreseeable future.

"So beautiful," he murmured against her throat, the words emerging in pure Gangnam inflection, all pretense of corporate diction abandoned. His teeth grazed her pulse point, drawing a whimper that would require an entirely new classification system[38].

Minjeong's fingers tangled in his precisely styled hair, disrupting approximately 47 minutes of morning grooming routine. "사장님," she gasped, the honorific now carrying entirely different connotations, "the papers..."

"Irrelevant data," he growled, recapturing her mouth with newfound authority. The kiss deepened, transformed, became something that defied all previous parameters. Her back arched into him, creating angles that had nothing to do with geometry and everything to do with instinct[39].

A distant part of his mind registered the soft thud of his suit jacket hitting the floor, followed by the whisper of silk as Minjeong's blazer joined it. The city lights painted silver equations across her skin, codes he suddenly needed to decode with his mouth instead of his mind.

—

[37] The office's normally pristine state would require exactly 23.7 minutes to restore, a task that would be significantly delayed by several subsequent "data collection sessions."

[38] Facial recognition software attempting to analyze the security feed would crash repeatedly, unable to reconcile Junho Kim's expression with any known configuration in its emotional database.

[39] The building's structural integrity sensors registered minor seismic activity, though this data would be suspiciously absent from the next day's maintenance logs.

—

He let his hands trail by the sides of her body, one busy with her torso—breasts and all—and the other, feeling the creamy softness of her thighs. And each needy press or pinch, brought out the softest of her moans, the cutest of her lip quivers.

He was busy, marking her lips, making it all swollen and red; yet, still, he couldn’t get enough of her. That soft body, her caring little hands, her hot inner thighs, and that gentle heat radiating off her core—just hidden by the slightest of her skirt. “Minjeong.” He whispered, pressing himself against her—a matter of teasing and also a way to test the waters, whether or not she wanted it on the table.

And Minjeong, not one to initiate, wrapped her thin arms around his nape, pulling him closer, “Yes, yes, please, anything, anywhere,” then a dozen little kisses all on his face. This assurance, this consent, slowly, but surely, made him wrench her legs open—wide. He saw that stain, dark against her gray underwear, and that was when his photographic memory… failed him.

He dug in, letting his loin press up against hers—immersing himself in her wetness. Then, finally, he pulled down on his pants, showing his tent-like imprint on his underwear to Minjeong, who, obviously, couldn’t stop staring. By the end of the minute, that ruthless minute, both were undressed in their lower-half—a utilitarian instinct to fuck each other as fast as possible.

Junho breathed heavily, staring at that pink hue that her core was so beautifully composed of—along with the wetness, the fragrance, and more. “Minjeong…” He held his shaft, lining it up straight on her wetness. She finally replied, “Yes… Junho…” And that’s when he pressed in, into the endless heat.

That wet connection hilt-to-hilt, along with a deep kiss—turned Minjeong completely docile and submissive. That wet connection, her wet slime covering his shaft, somehow, only intensified their lust for each other. He pressed in again, faster this time, earning that soft mewl. “Mhm, fuck me,” she whispered, again and again. He kept honoring those wishes, going deeper, and faster. He tucked his dick into her pussy, wet squelch and all, over and over until he felt his legs get weak from thrusting. Yet, that weakness didn’t deter him, he glided deeper, letting both their pelvises rub against each other, and making Minjeong cry out from the clit stimulation. She felt like she was getting tunneled, this man, the love of her life, crush of her lifetime, fucking her so good into a wobbly table—dreams aren’t even this good.

“I’m gonna cum, Minjeong.” He whispered, low and growling.

“Inside. Please. Inside…” She whispered before getting overtaken by her orgasm.

And just at the peak of her orgasm, the teetering breath before rest, Junho barreled all his semen inside her—rope after rope of semen splashing against her cervix. “Holy fuck.” they both said in conjunction.

—

The Seoul skyline had shifted into its late-night configuration by the time they finally disentangled themselves. Junho's normally immaculate shirt hung open, his tie having long since joined the scattered papers on the floor. Minjeong's hair had abandoned all pretense of its usual professional arrangement, falling in waves that his fingers couldn't seem to stop threading through[40].

"이게..." Minjeong began, her voice still carrying traces of breathlessness as she surveyed the chaos they'd created. Her blazer lay draped over a chair at an angle that would have horrified their usual professional standards. "I should reorganize the—"

"Stay exactly where you are," Junho commanded softly, his arms tightening around her waist. His usual perfectionism had found a new target: the way she melted against him at that tone[41].

She tilted her head back to meet his gaze, her smile pure Busan sunshine. "데이트하자... be my 오빠?" The question emerged with endearing uncertainty, mixing honorifics and languages in a way that bypassed his brain entirely and struck straight at his heart.

"그래," he murmured into her hair, then with characteristic precision added, "Exclusively."

Her laugh carried notes of joy and residual shyness. "Then as your girlfriend, I should really clean up this mess..." She gestured at the scattered papers, the displaced furniture, the general dishevelment that spoke eloquently of the past hour's activities.

"As your boyfriend," his voice dropped to that commanding register that made her shiver, "I want to watch you do it[42]."

The drive home—his penthouse, by unspoken agreement—required exactly 17 minutes. Neither of them bothered to count.

—

[40] The building's security system would later note this as the longest recorded instance of the CEO remaining in office after hours, though the detailed logs were mysteriously corrupted.

[41] Internal HR protocols regarding workplace relationships were hastily updated the following morning, though no one questioned why the CEO personally oversaw these revisions.

[42] The night cleaning staff would arrive to find the office in unprecedented perfect order, though several employees would later swear they heard laughter and whispered Busan endearments echoing through the empty halls.

Fin

#winter smut #aespa smut #aespa #kpop smut #male oc #female idol #smut

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katsu28 · 8 months ago

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Hi, I really like your writing! I had an idea for a fic with Lando. He left school really young (he got tutored privately afterwards according to wikipedia) and mayhaps that could make him feel insecure or something along those lines if he has a significant other that is in university, maybe studying to get a bachelors or masters degree. School is not everything and does not accurately measure intelligence or anything else but it is still a standard that most people hold and compare themselves too. It's something that I know all to well, which is where this idea came from. Whatever you do with it thank for reading it!💖

thank you for trusting me with your idea <3

lando norris x reader, r is in an unspecified master's program, 1.5k.

Lando loves how smart you are.

He tells you all the time. When you’re stressed from the intensity of your master’s program, nervous about an exam, or most of the time, just randomly. He’s proud of you for taking on something he definitely doesn’t have the brains for, and for absolutely crushing it so far.

He left school before even completing his GCSEs in year 10, just so he could focus on racing full time—a decision he’d never regret, but always wondered about.

What would his life have looked like if he hadn’t devoted it to pursuing a career in racing? Would he have finished secondary school? Made it to university?

He doesn’t even know what he would’ve studied.

Granted, he was never really good at school to begin with, but things could’ve changed. Now don’t get him wrong, he would never change a thing, but that didn’t mean he never thought about what might’ve been.

So yes, Lando loves how smart you are, but if he’s being honest with himself, it does make him feel a little insecure about his own intellect.

-------

Lando finds you in your workspace when he gets home from padel with Max.

He’d turned one of his guest rooms into a sort of office slash study space for you when you moved in with him all that time ago, a place where you could get your work done in a quiet environment whenever you needed to. The space itself was one of the smaller rooms, but still bigger than you were used to, and decorated to perfection too.

A standing desk with an ergonomic chair (better for your neck and back, he’d said, so you weren’t hunched over your books all the time), a smart blackboard on one wall for any necessary brainstorming, a comfy chair in another corner—all overlooking the Monte Carlo cityscape from massive floor to ceiling windows. Everything else has been up to you, but Lando wanted nothing but the best for his smart girl.

He pads in silently, making his way over to where you're furiously typing at your computer to press a kiss to your cheek. You flinch a little, startled out of your own world at the action. Your eyes fly to his, wide, before your posture relaxes again.

“Oh, hi! Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in,” You breathe, giving him a short kiss on the lips this time.

“Didn’t mean to make you jump like that, darling. My bad,” He chuckles. He leans over your shoulder, squinting at the diagrams on your screen. “What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s—” You pause, flicking through a few pages of the textbook next to your computer. Your lips twist to the side in thought, and then you smile at him in what he’s sure you meant to be an assuring way. “Nevermind, you probably wouldn’t get it.”

He knows you don't mean it as a dig or anything, but the brush off ignites a bitter taste on his tongue. And if there’s one thing about Lando, it’s that he feels everything extremely strongly. “Well I’m sorry, not all of us can be geniuses.”

“Pardon?” You look genuinely stunned at his outburst, at this huge 180 degree turn his mood has taken within the last few seconds.

Then he can't help the words tumbling out of his mouth next. “I get it, alright? ‘Lando doesn't know what I’m talking about, let’s make Lando feel dumb!”

He storms off before you can process his stinging words, but even then, the anger that had just flared up in him has already dissipated. Lando knows all of it comes from a place of insecurity, that little nagging feeling at the back of his brain telling him that even though he’s happy where he is, happy doing what he does for a living, he could’ve made something different of himself.

You leave him alone for a while before coming to find him, presumably to let him cool off. He feels awful about what he said now. Honestly, he hadn't even meant to say it out loud, doesn’t know why he said it. It’s not like he meant it.

A knock from the doorway of the bedroom draws him out of his guilty thoughts, and he looks up to see you hovering just behind the threshold. He hates how you look hesitant to approach him.

You press your lips into a thin line once his gaze meets yours. “Can we talk about what just happened?”

“It’s nothing. Just forget I said anything.”

“It’s obvious you’ve been holding onto those thoughts for a while, so no, Lando, it’s not nothing.”

“I don’t wanna fight,” He mumbles, eyes glued to his fiddling fingers. You seem to notice his sudden quietness because your expression softens as you cross the room to sit next to him.

“We’re not fighting. You’ve got something on your mind, and I want to know so I can help,” You reply, shifting to face him. He can tell how you're trying to keep your voice as level as possible. “Please let me help.”

Lando chews on his bottom lip, unsure. You say you want to help, but he's worried that if he tells you what's really going on, you’ll think it's silly. It is silly, really, him feeling insecure because of how smart you are. But if he doesn't tell you, you’ll think he doesn't trust you, and he does trust you. He trusts you with everything.

Then you say his name again, softer this time, and you’re looking at him like you’ve done something horrible, and he sighs.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m not smart enough to be your boyfriend. You get all excited about your research when you talk about it,” He sighs, shrugging clumsily, “and I want to understand it because I wanna be able to get excited about it with you, but I just don’t get it. And it makes me feel stupid.”

“I didn’t—Lando, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to, I—”

He shakes his head forcefully, grabbing both your hands in his. “No, that’s not what I meant. You never make me feel stupid. It’s my problem, really. I just…I’m not really known for my brains, yeah? Came to terms with that a while ago.”

“You’re smart, Lan,” You insist, brows pinching in the middle. “You’re so smart, what’re you even talking about?”

“We talking about the same person here? I never even finished school. Wasn’t too good at it before I left either.”

“There’s more than one way to be smart, y’know,” You continue. Lando tilts his head curiously, not unlike a puppy would. “You’ve got amazing people skills, you’re creative beyond anything I could’ve dreamed up, you’re well balanced with your emotions. Not to mention the amount of skill and strength it takes to do what you do everyday, at the level you perform at.”

“No, but that’s different. I could never do what you do, remember all the stuff that you’ve had to.”

“And you think I could do what you do?” You ask, giving a disbelieving chuckle. “Genuinely, if I got put into the cockpit of your car, I wouldn’t even be able to start the bloody thing, let alone drive it the way you can when you’re being bombarded with information from all sides during a race. If you put me in front of a group of reporters, if I had to do even a fraction of the press appearances and sponsorship events you do, I’d probably shit my pants.”

Lando wrinkles his nose in slight disgust. “That’s nasty.”

“It’s true though! I can’t do half the things you can, but that doesn’t make me any less smart. It just means we’re smart in different ways. So what you never finished school? School isn’t the only way to measure how intelligent you are. And Lando, you’re beyond intelligent.”

His shoulders sag with the long sigh he releases, and he lists to the side, slumping over onto your lap. “Sorry for lashing out,” He murmurs, cheek pressed against your knee. He rolls over onto his back, gazing up at you with truly apologetic eyes. “I didn’t mean what I said, I was just being a dick.”

You hum noncommittally, stroking a hand through his curls. “You’re allowed to have feelings, Lando, it’s alright.”

“Yeah, but what I said was just mean, and I didn’t—I wasn’t thinking straight. You don’t deserve to be snapped at like that.”

“Makes up for all the times I’ve snapped at you during exams, so…call it even?” You ask, leaning over him with a soft smile.

“We’re even.” He lifts his head, craning to reach your lips, and you chuckle a little bit, but meet him halfway in a gentle kiss.

It’s an I’m sorry kiss, a I forgive you kiss, a I’ll always support you kiss.

A no matter what you say, I’ll love you forever kiss.

This fact, Lando knows for sure, even though a little bit of him still thinks he’s not quite as smart as you.

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)

#requested!#lando norris #ln4 #lando norris x reader #ln4 x reader #lando norris x fem!reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fic #lando norris fluff #lando norris one shot

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sumuraj · 1 year ago

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homelivingthings · 2 years ago

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rongfuchairs · 2 years ago

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onemodco · 12 days ago

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Room of the Day: Foraging Herbalist Study

Transform your Sims' workspace with the Sims 4 Furniture Pack! This stylish collection is perfect for creating that natural vibe, featuring sleek desks, ergonomic chairs, and nature's storage solutions.

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g1rlsp1ckins · 2 months ago

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𝓣HE 𝓢LYTHERIN ✶ 𝓓ORM

𝕴𝖙'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖒𝖞 𝖋𝖆𝖚𝖑𝖙 𝕴'𝖒 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚.

Hidden beneath the castle, deep under the Black Lake, the Slytherin dormitories have shed their old, dreary reputation and transformed into a sleek, modern sanctuary. No longer cold and ominous, the space now radiates a refined elegance, blending old-world charm with contemporary luxury. It’s a haven for ambitious minds, a place where intelligence, creativity, and camaraderie thrive.

The Entrance:

Unlike the other houses, whose common rooms are hidden behind paintings or riddles, the Slytherin entrance remains a well-kept secret, embedded into the stone walls of the dungeons. The door is a seamless, enchanted slab of black marble veined with silver, appearing only when approached by a Slytherin. With a simple touch or a murmured password, it slides open silently, revealing the breathtaking space beyond.

The foyer is a quiet antechamber before the main common room, designed for those who need a brief moment of solitude before entering the lively hub of the house. Plush emerald benches line the walls, and soft overhead lighting casts a gentle glow over the polished black tile floor. A house crest, made of enchanted silver, shimmers on the wall, subtly shifting between different designs over the years—sometimes reflecting the faces of past Slytherin legends, sometimes morphing into a snake that slithers lazily across the surface.

──────────── · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ────────────

The Common Room:

Stepping into the common room is like entering a high-end lounge designed for scholars and socialites alike. The Black Lake Viewing Windows stretch from floor to ceiling, offering an uninterrupted, spellbinding view of the water beyond. Sunlight filters through in dappled beams during the day, creating a serene, ever-moving pattern across the walls. At night, the lake turns dark and mysterious, with occasional flashes of silver from passing mermaids, darting grindylows, or schools of luminescent fish.

The central seating area is designed for both comfort and conversation. Instead of rigid wooden chairs, plush velvet sectionals in deep green and charcoal gray create cozy clusters, each accompanied by polished oak coffee tables that hold floating candle sconces and stacks of books left behind by students. A massive fireplace, enchanted with cool green and blue flames, sits as the focal point of the room, casting flickering reflections across the glass windows and silver-trimmed walls.

A study alcove on the far side of the room is quieter, tucked away for those who need focus. A long, sleek ebony table runs along the wall, lined with ergonomic chairs that adjust themselves to each student’s preferred posture. Floating glass orbs provide customizable lighting, glowing softly for those pulling late-night study sessions. The surrounding bookshelves are filled with both classic wizarding texts and modern literature, spanning everything from magical law to wizarding fashion trends.

For relaxation, a leisure lounge sits opposite the study alcove, featuring an enchanted chess table, a moving dartboard that playfully dodges poor shots, and a Wizarding Wireless system that plays curated playlists based on the collective mood of the room—whether it’s instrumental music for studying or lively jazz for social evenings.

In one corner, a self-serve café station offers an array of beverages, from classic teas and butterbeer to cold brew coffee and specially crafted wizarding drinks. The station is magically replenished, ensuring that no student ever suffers through an early morning class without caffeine. Seasonal drinks rotate throughout the year—pumpkin spice brews in autumn, peppermint hot chocolate in winter, honey-infused teas in spring, and iced berry potions in summer.

Additional Exclusive Spaces:

Beyond the common room and dorms, the Slytherin quarters feature several hidden areas, reserved for house members only:

The Greenhouse Atrium – A hidden indoor garden filled with exotic plants from all over the wizarding world. Ivy-covered archways lead to a peaceful retreat where students can read, meditate, or study potions in a natural setting. Twinkling fairy lights overhead create a serene, dreamlike atmosphere.

The Lounge Bar – A sophisticated space for unwinding after classes. While it doesn’t serve alcohol, handcrafted butterbeer mocktails, chilled pumpkin juice, and sparkling potions are always on tap. Elegant yet comfortable, it’s the perfect place for deep conversations or celebratory evenings after exams.

The Duelling Room – A state-of-the-art training space for combat practice, fitness, and spellwork. Enchanted dummies, moving obstacle courses, and sparring rings allow students to refine their magical skills in a controlled environment.

The Music & Arts Studio – A soundproofed creative space equipped with enchanted instruments, a recording charm, and a small stage for performances. Whether students want to compose music, paint, or practice dramatic readings, this room is a hub for artistic expression.

──────────── · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ────────────

The Dormitories:

Unlike the cramped and uniform dorms of the past, the modern Slytherin dormitories have been reimagined for comfort, privacy, and personal expression. Instead of only shared rooms, students now have access to private quarters apon request.

Each student, even in shared dorms have their own rooms with beds that are king-sized, dressed in deep emerald or obsidian bedding, embroidered with silver accents. Some students prefer a sleek, minimalistic look with crisp linens and dark wood, while others decorate their spaces with fairy lights, houseplants, and velvet throws. The ceilings can be enchanted to reflect a starry night sky, rainstorms, or even the movement of the Black Lake above.

Each room features a customizable study nook, complete with a polished oak desk, floating bookshelves, and a smart magical mirror that doubles as a daily planner. A window—enchanted to show either the outside world or calming landscapes—can be adjusted depending on the student’s mood.

The wardrobes are another innovation—walk-in closets that magically organize outfits based on the day’s schedule, weather, or personal preference. The enchanted mirror inside offers styling advice and, when in a playful mood, delivers sassy commentary about outfit choices.

1. The Beds

Slytherins value both comfort and aesthetics, and their beds are a reflection of that.

Four-Poster or Canopy Options: Some students keep the traditional regal look, while others enchant their beds to hover slightly above the floor.

Self-Regulating Bedding: Enchanted to adjust to your body temperature for the perfect sleep.

Silk, velvet, or Egyptian cotton sheets, depending on personal preference.

Hidden Storage: Drawers that magically organize clothes, with an enchanted shoe rack that cleans and repairs itself overnight.

Dream Projection Feature: Some beds allow students to replay memories or visualize their dreams before sleeping.

2. Work & Study Spaces

Slytherins are strategic thinkers, so their rooms have top-tier workstations to match their ambitions.

Floating Desks that adjust to standing or sitting mode.

Spell-Proof Study Nooks for students who need to concentrate without distractions.

Holographic Notes & Book Summaries – Simply tap a book, and a glowing summary appears in the air.

Auto-Writing Quills that take dictated notes or transcribe ideas.

3. Personal Wardrobes & Vanity Areas

Walk-in Closets, with sections sorted by magical occasion (formal robes, casual wear, dueling gear, etc.).

Vanity Mirrors with Enchantment Features:

Offer styling advice and hair-styling charms.

Can alter appearances temporarily to test different looks before committing.

Self-Organizing Laundry Baskets: Clothes fold themselves and freshen up overnight.

4. Personalization & Enchanted Features

Slytherins don’t do boring. Their dorms have the coolest magical modifications, including:

Mood Lighting Charms: Adjust the lighting’s warmth and color depending on the vibe.

Personal Sound Systems: Students can play enchanted records, ambient sounds, or Muggle music through magical speakers.

Moving Artwork: Family portraits, classic wizarding art, or animated abstract designs. Some paintings even interact with students, offering advice or sarcasm depending on their enchantment.

Miniature Greenhouses: For students interested in herbology or potion ingredients, a small terrarium-style setup is available in some rooms.

5. Secret Features & Custom Spells

Because Slytherins always have a trick up their sleeve, many students add hidden elements to their rooms.

Hidden Compartment Drawers – Perfect for stashing notes, valuables, or contraband.

Private Entrance Charms – Some students enchant their doors to only open with a personalized spell or phrase.

Soundproofing Charms – For privacy, late-night study sessions, or secret conversations.

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The Bathrooms:

Stepping into the Slytherin bathrooms feels like entering a high-end wizarding spa. The air is lightly scented with enchanted eucalyptus and lavender, keeping the space feeling fresh and calming. The walls are lined with dark green marble, veined with silver, and the floor tiles are temperature-controlled, ensuring that even on the coldest winter mornings, they remain warm underfoot.

Showers & Bathtubs:

Walk-in Rainfall Showers – Spacious, sleek, and enclosed in frosted glass, the showers are charmed to provide a perfect water temperature every time. Some even have illusion charms, allowing students to bathe under a "rainforest canopy" or "waterfall lagoon."

Deep Soaking Bathtubs – Large enough for full-body relaxation, these clawfoot tubs come with a variety of magical bath oils and bubbles that change scents based on mood. Some students opt for self-heating bath stones, turning their baths into a personal hot spring.

Vanity & Grooming Area

Fog-Resistant Mirrors – These enchanted mirrors provide morning affirmations or style advice, adjusting to each student’s needs.

Grooming Stations – Individual vanities stocked with self-cleaning towels, wizarding hair-care tools, and potions for styling or skincare.

Personalized Magic Lockers – Each student has a small enchanted locker where they can store toiletries programmed to open only at their touch.

Additional Features

Soft Lighting Charms – Adjustable based on mood or time of day, ensuring no harsh glares during early morning routines.

Music Charms – Optional, allowing students to play soft instrumentals, classic wizarding tunes, or even Muggle music while getting ready.

Aromatherapy Spells – Cast over the space, keeping it fresh and infused with soothing scents.

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