#episode 3x05

[eliotqueliot]

Puzzling It Out

For the May 31 prompt: Free Day! for @duckprintspress May Trope Mayhem

Fandom: The Magicians (TV); Relationship: Eliot Waugh/Quentin Coldwater

Warnings for canon-typical language and grief/regret; the "canonical character death" is Eliot's death in the Mosaic Timeline.

Summary: A story in verse. Eliot’s POV, reflecting on their lives at the Mosaic, as well as what happened in the throne room afterward. Yes, their hearts were broken then—but in the course of these reflections, Eliot realizes a few things. And makes plans. So—there's hope!

Also posted on AO3—link at the end.

Puzzling It Out

Each night I dream of that puzzle—

fruits of the orchard, often our child—

but always that puzzle with you on it.

Crawling the playing board or pacing with me;

standing by, or perched on the ladder,

perusing the journal to compare solutions, or design new ones.

But always you, you, standing there,

frowning or excited for some new possibility,

or on your hands and knees working the tiles,

gazing up at me with mischief from under that fall of long hair.

“We work”—our hearts in harmony, more often than we fight,

but I’ll take both: anything to get a glimpse of you while you’re still mine,

sharing peaches and plums, peaches and plums,

that sweet tang, the juice running down your chin,

all over your fingers—licking it off,

tasting your sweet lips, your tart bite, the witty sarcasm, the fond embrace,

throwing you over my shoulder or lifting you high like an airplane on my long legs.

Your snark, your wit, your kindness.

Your muscles rippling on a hot, shirtless day.

I want to continue that life with nothing but you:

no other place I ever felt at home or happy.

But you were my home, you and our son.

Our whole lives stretched out, and we lived each day fiercely

with love, even through the fights.

And then it all ended: not with my death,

though I’m sorry I grieved you—

but with your decision to start over—

without asking what I wanted.

(To be fair, I was dead and couldn’t answer.)

You arranged for a letter to reach High Queen Margo,

arriving in time, with all the information she needed

to stop our quest from ever happening.

She arrived holding the key it took us a lifetime to earn—

a lifetime of love, of happiness—

our lives together, just us. An adventure

there’s no need to go on, now—

we stopped before the clock, before we ever felt magic again

or tasted each other’s lips a second time,

our first time alone following the threesome.

Everything we know says it never happened:

everything we feel says it did.

Was it a dream? Was it real?

Why did you want to stop us?

Did you want to escape a life of toil? Me?

Did you think that we’d just start over, fresh,

even though I don’t know how to do this?

Even though you erased the one time we had enough time

for me to learn how to work past my fears, to believe it was possible,

to trust that someone could actually love me?

I love you so much that I’m fucking terrified,

and I don’t know how to get there,

how to get home from inside this tangled wood,

never having lived those lives I loved so much,

where I loved you so much (so many times)—

where the certainty of your love

was so much greater than all my fears.

I want so badly to touch your face, but this is the world

in which I have no framework, no certainty,

nothing but my love for you that was never returned,

not for years, not for flirting or threesomes,

not as far as I ever knew.

And my heart stutters trying to speak—

Even though all I want to do is go home—

home to you, to our peaceful lives of purpose, our child,

the beauty of all life

(it’s you, you, you)—

But I never can, because home doesn’t exist,

not anymore. Because I said “I love you, but.”

And you said, “Okay.”

And Okay, I’d give anything to take back what else I said,

all those lies and excuses, just me running away—

but I’ll be honest. I was happy. We were happy.

We loved each other. We lived good, beautiful lives.

And I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t want to die.

But I died loving you. Watching you, awed by your beauty even then,

even though you didn’t know it. I died knowing I was loved.

That we’d made it. I’d beat the odds. Lived a good life. Been a good dad.

Husband to the most wonderful man in the world. In any world.

A task so hard it seemed impossible in our lives before.

I never could have done it without you. Without that quest.

Our lives dedicated to endless combinations of art.

Focusing on something else

so I could pretend not to notice love sneaking up on me.

But I noticed. I noticed. I savored every minute.

I loved you so much. Long before I could say.

Long after I stopped being able to say, in this place we are now.

A quest so hard I’d have said it was impossible:

true love, happiness. A family.

We solved it together.

It was the miracle I never dared to hope for.

I died loving you. Being loved. Old. Home. Happy.

And now…it’s nothing but a memory.

A secret shared between us. But even we don’t dare to speak of it anymore.

If you’d asked me, love, before you sent that letter . . .

I didn’t want to come back. Not ever.

Not to be separated from you like this.

Not to have that hard uphill climb

that I might never achieve again, not with all these odds stacked against me—

two royal marriages to contend with, our fucked-up fairy overlords,

alcoholism, the burdens of the crown—

my inability to speak my heart.

(Your ongoing pull toward Alice Quinn.)

My paralyzing fear. Jealousy.

All the things, reasonable and un-,

that have separated us once again,

stranded on different worlds:

you on Earth, and I in Fillory.

But, love, I’ve been puzzling this out.

I’ve had time to think.

To sort out not what’s possible,

but what’s important—enough to make it happen.

I have a plan.

There are keys left on this quest.

And I’m not a king any longer.

Let’s find the next one together, shall we?

You know you want to.

I have a flying boat…

for that boat quest you always wanted to go on together?

This time, I promise you:

together, we’ll find one more key:

and on the way…

I’ll unlock my heart and say

Yes.

[luthqrs]

"Do you have kids?" "No, not yet. But everyone who needs us, we think of as our own." JENNIFER JAREAU in CRIMINAL MINDS 3x05 | ‘Seven Seconds’

[aaronwhorechner]

hotchniss in 3.05

[thrwne]

Mathias and Erik

[poirott]

Crossover → Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple solving cases together, Part 2 (Part 1)

David Suchet as Hercule Poirot, Julia McKenzie as Jane Marple

Agatha Christie's Poirot (1989 - 2013) | Agatha Christie's Marple (2004 - 2013)

[mayabishopgold]

Maya Bishop | Station 19 - 3x05 "Into the Woods"

[chiosblog]

Face feeling the gay panic™

Happy Pride Faceman!

[hucklebucket]

Ace + being On Nancy’s Side™

[sammaggs]

3x02 Seeing is Believing | Fuck

Now I imagine you will use your knife.

[helifreds]

I just had a mind blowing realization

Ok no, it didn't happen right now but yesterday evening but this isn't the point

I was watching 'Timber' (thank you whoever randomly decided to trasmit the A-team during week) and when the famous "gay couple at morning" scene camed I realized that what I thought for one whole year was completely wrong

I was convinced that in their bedroom there were two beds, the one where Face is sleeping (or trying so) and another one on the opposite side

Turned out there's just one - pretty little - bed that they shared (the pillows' position prove it) and Murdock's imaginary bed space is occupied by a closet lol :')

[onespncap]

s03e05 -- "Bedtime Stories"

[what-in-procrastination]

they’re playing man city next week and the person who wrote the episode also wrote man city (2x08). I don’t know if you guys understand how not normal I’m gonna be about that

[xofemeraldstars]

chim glancing at buck in this scene and buck's sad lil face 🥺

[crownspeaksblog]

Okay, what a whiplash going from the last few minutes of episode 4 where i was having fun to being so uncomfortable watching the sex scene in episode 5..

Okay so going into this season, i already knew that colin and penelope were gonna have a sex scene involving a mirror, so when colin turned penelope towards the mirror and started describing things he likes about her, i thought that this was a foreshadowing to a sex scene that'll happen later on, because in my mind they're so not at the point of full on sex yet, so when i realized that they were gonna have sex i was taken back because this scene feels so unearned to me, it feels like we jumped several steps ahead, even though last episode they were making out and colin was grabbing on her, his hand under her dress, it still doesn't feel like enough build up for a sex scene to happen the next episode, again it feels like we jumped so many steps to get here..

And i don't know why but i started getting a little uncomfortable when he touched her lower lip and i definitely got uncomfortable with her laying naked in bed with him on top of her, and then he started talking her through it and i know some people like this, but i just wanted him stop talking!! (i was genuinely so close to fast forwarding this scene but instead I'm here writing this).

So yeah i didn't like this scene because it has alot of talking, but mostly it because their relationship literally started last night!! I don't think i can say there's no building up whatsoever, to me it's just there's very very little build up and development in their relationship.

[thrwne]

New 3x05 stills posted by Benjamin 👀

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 5 thoughts

woohoo! here we are again. it's gonna be hard to follow last night’s episode, because it was frankly a banger. but i am eager to spend any time with my good friends mulder and scully.

(especially because my brain is currently a vague slushie substance being shaken about due to us politics. so i need this healing experience. of time with them)

we begin with a hitchhiker on the road. it always gags me that people used to do that and not be terrified of getting axe murdered. he’s sharply dressed though, i’d wear that sweater. drop the link, random fellow. 

oh- it isn’t a hitchhiking? well, potential crisis averted, i suppose. the guy who picks him up knows him. they’re going to prison. is this the same prison as before? the please please please prison? it looks a little different. but maybe that's just the angle.

the folks at the prison are talking about some guy named neech, who is allegedly being difficult. it seems they are going to put him to death, which is a most unfortunate thing. his wife is saying goodbye, and that she won’t betray their love. she believes that the governor will pull through and save him. and wait no, i’m sad now :(((( what if he is innocent…

they’re walking him into the electric chair, and ominous music is playing. i do not wish to watch this moment. they offer him a hood? and he denies it, but i didn't know that was a thing that happened at this sort of event. not-a-hitchhiker man has a hood when he pulls down the handle. 

this man- neech- says he will be reincarnated and that five men will die. and then they pull the handle and a bunch of people are watching?? do people really watch when such an awful thing happens? i guess maybe reporters but like damn, that is supremely messed up.

well, a sad and scary beginning. off to D.C.! mulder explains that neech had been granted last-minute stays two times before. i am learning i do not know much about the subject of how death row works.

scully looks beautiful. really beautiful. 

mulder says this man was very smart and charismatic. and that he was a getaway driver, which does not seem like something you should die for...

and now those five people who mistreated him are starting to drop! is it ghost time? or a plot for posthumous judgement afoot...?

prison time. no scene showing the flight and or car ride to florida. sad!

scully strides into examine the body of the guy who has been killed. it was very powerful, that stride. she then lifts the sheet up and noticed that it is covered in maggots, but she doesn’t seem phased, and says to put it into refrigeration. seems early for maggots, no? just being quite recently murdered? mulder is making a disgusted face LMAO 

so now they’re talking to another prisoner who thinks neech is back. scully's side profile is serving. 

but these men are catcalling her so that is not pleasant.

this guard who is watching her seems to really have hated neech so i’m beginning to suspect that he’s next to fall. he has a very prominent mustache.

mustache guard leaves scully alone in death row??? rude as hell. but she sneaks off. i love a woman who sneaks off. who slinks around, even. 

SOMEONE GRABS HER???? this man (who we later learn is a guard named parmelly) says he knows who is going to die next because there is a list, and a prisoner named roque has it. and that he wants to help her. well i don’t know if you had to go about it in such a terrifying manner!!! does help have to be done with snatching?? usually not.

the mustache guard says “it’s not a place for a woman to be doing that (looking around) alone"... okay so maybe if you hadn’t ditched her she wouldn’t have to do that… hope this tip helps <3

she looks really scared though, and she wants to get the hell out of here. knocking on the door to be let out. i do not blame her. she doesn’t seem to mention the creepy encounter to mulder.

next morning, the other prisoners are painting. and they find the mustache guard- well, they find his head in a bucket full of paint and maggots!! shoutout to the props department. because this head, it’s gnarly, but also almost endearing in its faux gore. i love you props teammmm <3

some guy is giving scully the head. she points out that the maggots are a bit early. but he’s saying no no no we have special bugs here in florida. which i certainly don't know enough about florida to dispute.

mulder is visiting the prisoner who claims to have the list… named roque. so she did tell him about the whole list allegation… hmm.

pause. why is mulder sitting on the table while he talks to roque. i’m howlinggggg we truly cannot take his ass anywhere. what a whimsical fellow.

roque says he wants to be transferred out of the block in exchange for the other three on the list. seems a bit outlandish. because if there IS a supernatural force going about killing people, all that information would do is just give the murder victims a head's up to get their affairs in order. but i wish him luck on his bargaining mission.

mulder is doing that thing now where he carries his jacket over his shoulder, and i gave that a go the other day and it felt amazing. but the warden says he can’t make a deal. because then everyone will make deals. scully says it could save three lives!! but then more people will just want to kill guards, the warden replies. heartbreakingly, i do see his point.

opens the door to find a decapitated body. warden sighs deeply. average day on the job.

back in neech’s cell, our duo is looking through his stuff. and they’re talking about reincarnation, which he claims is in all the world religions. “i’m sorry mulder, that’s not what i learned in catechism” LMAOOOO do not try to out catholic her. he tries, though, bringing up the resurrection. which is DIFFERENT. obviously. smh his protestant ass...

(wait he's from massachusetts... maybe he was raised catholic, too. i need to be looking out for clues. because we saw him in a church in like the fourth episode of the show. mulder i'll figure our your lore if it's the last thing i do)

anyway. they’re so close discussing reincarnation and world religions in this dead prisoner’s cell it almost feels dirty.

“imagine if it were true, scully. imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. who would they be?” “i only get five?” <- LMAOOOO i love her soooo much

“i remembered your birthday this year, didn’t i?”, he asks, and they smile at each other. UGH THESE TWO. i want more of this banter even if it takes place at the scene of a murder <3

they decide to go to neech’s wife, who they realize might have some clues. and she’s pretty. she speaks about how she has been dreaming about neech being put in the chair but not dying. so what does that mean.... and her hands are really shaking even though she’s smoking. so she seems really scared. as if he is going to come and get her.

roque is gonna talk with the warden. a deal? hmm, i’m not buying it. this warden seems evil. why is he taking him the other way? but he does bring him to the warden. WHO PUNCHES HIM???? and asks who is on the list. he tells him the warden is on the list. and that he is number 5. we brushed past the punching quickly as a plot point but it was pretty awful.

the warden says they “found” roque beaten to death …. wow. who could have possibly been responsible for this? /s

back at neech's wife’s house…. AND THERE IS ANOTHER MAN HERE. THE GUARD THAT GRABBED SCULLY!!! PARMELLY. OH, THIS IS TEA. parmelly promises that neech won’t come back. what happened to the promise of being true?! you'd think promises made before executions would be a top priority to keep.

but, at the site of the dead roque at work the next day, he DOES tower over scully and say “i warned you” ummm hello?? it is making him look suspicious.

mulder side profile is also serving. 

despite being busy being the second baddest girl in this prison, mulder realizes that all the people who died had caused neech physical pain. so that maybe the executioner is next…. and maybe roque WASN’T man number three…. oh he's picking up on things.

now, let us come with the agents as they walk into a creepy house. mulder picks up the mail. then lets himself in. and yes, it will continue to make me laugh every single time these two barge into a place

whoever lives here, he has a tasteful fish print on the wall. scully examines his fish photos. OH! it’s the “hitchhiker” from before. and the ground… it is covered in maggots… she looks up to see… maggots falling from the roof… he catches one. like a fallen snowflake. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT. we seriously need to take action against this man.

and bam. in the attic. dead man. very decomposed. again mulder seems to gag. well he wasn't gagging when he was catching the MAGGOTS falling from the dude's BODY, so where does he draw the line?

this other man they're interrogating says he saw neech. and that roque was NOT on the list. so it's getting complicated. not looking great for the warden, who seems he shall be caught shortly. or not, who knows.

BUT, we learn neech had made a bunch of phone calls to an outside number before he died… to an attorney who represented neech way back in the day. so they're off to visit him.

OH attorney spills the tea: that the wife has a boyfriend and he was waving a gun in his face!!!! parmelly, things are not looking great for you either...

the attorney is sipping something and taking his shirt off and probs gonna die shortly. and oh… we hear a buzzing. before someone strangles him!!! it was a very quick and vague shot, i can’t tell who it was that did the crime. but i’m guessing it’s parmelly, because we see him next driving home. interesting... mulder's earlier theory was that those who died had inflicted physical pain on neech, but this guy just failed to prevent him from being put in prison.

danielle the girlfriend slash neech's wife is like WHERE WERE YOU. THE FBI IS HERE. 

“woman gets lonely. sometimes she can’t wait around for a man to get reincarnated” <- wise words from scully, watching from outside. it is hard to wait for such things.

so they tell the warden about parmelly and danielle. and from him, they learn that the attorney they had just spoken to was SUFFOCATED TO DEATH THAT NIGHT. word sure does spread fast in this town.

mulder looks like he’s calculating some stuff as the warden says to go arrest parmelly. he's doing mental chess.

danielle sees neech in her room???? he disappears. okay so is this real or is she hallucinating...? it’s way too quiet as she goes into the kitchen and tells parmelly that neech is here. 

danielle has a GUN. she says to parmelly “you’re him” and she SHOOTS him. and cries. saying it was him, that he came back. HUH? things sure did escalate.

back at the prison, the warden wants to talk to speranza. and starts BEATING him. he says "all i know is one more man is supposed to die" and the prisoners yell for the warden to leave speranza alone. what happens to speranza is unclear.

agents driving home after another hard day at work, but mulder is pulling aside, stopping the car in the middle of nowhere. “why are we stopping?”, she asks “you know it just doesn’t make sense”, is what he says. you ever get a hunch so bad you pull over on the side of the road and start wandering about? yeah. just one of those days for him.

he says it doesn’t make sense to lay it all on parmelly. they’re on the side of the road debating this. he does not want to leave the matter unsolved, it seems, while she says it's over, let's go home. ominous music is playing whilst this occurs.

the warden drives by and we hear a fly buzzing. and then neech is behind him STRANGLING HIM. fade down to neech no longer being in the car, after the warden has been killed. and an end shot on the warden’s bloody face.

HUH???

this episode had me SPOOKED. it was suspenseful in a really good way. i like when this show has me on the edge of my seat and it feels like there is a ticking time bomb going off. and then when it DOES blow up, all the pieces land in place.

this episode was really good! it wasn’t one of my absolute favorites- hard to beat the mid s2 arc and the start of s3- but it was definitely good in terms of an episode that doesn’t advance the overarching alien plot. it was dark, but it also had some light moments, like scully one liners, which are always appreciated. and like i said last time, after a comedic episode, you need to be careful where you go next in terms of tone. but this time the difference didn’t feel as jarring. sure, it was spooky, and murder and prisoners and executions were going on, but it didn’t feel as unpleasant to watch as the calusari episode that came after humbug, which just left me sad and feeling weird. perhaps we can attribute this to the warden, who we saw inflicting so much pain onto others, having justice meted upon him in the end. that always makes an episode feel more palatable, i think. less like we just watched suffering for suffering’s sake.

please let me know what you thought; i’m curious. i really liked the pacing again, and the element of things almost adding up but just not quite. i love a twist and a turn. it was a solid episode! i prefer episodes where we learn more about mulder and scully, but we did have some good moments here, especially crime scene reincarnation talk. i also think he put his hand on her back before she walked into a room again. and i feel the need to once again make the disclaimer that this is a thing that is only endearing when fox mulder does it to scully, or when such a thing has been discussed between mutually consenting partners in the real world. put ur hand on the small of my back before we've discussed it and what a rabid raccoon can do to the human body will look like a round of warm up sparring when i get through with you.

but i digress. tell me what you thought of the episode! i thought neech was compelling.

(i know there is a wikipedia page for each episode, and therefore i could consult that to see how the episode was received, but it’s much more fun to ask real human people their thoughts!!)