#epic times were had ==:)

[felsicveins]

Burnt bridges

[zarnzarn]

The doors to Olympus are sturdy and strong, given everyone's preferences for drama and slamming said doors open and sending them cracking into the wall whenever the opportunity arises. Which is why it's a surprise when they creak open during the once-a-decade pantheon meeting; less so because no entity worth their salt would take so long to open the doors, and more so because everyone who is anyone is already there.

But if everyone is being honest with themselves- which no one is, usually- these gatherings are boring enough that the bland conversation is dropped immediately in favour of craning their necks to catch a glimpse of whatever is coming to relieve them of their boredom.

When the doors finally open however, several of the pantheon murmur in surprise.

"Odysseus," Athena whispers, wide-eyed as she pushes herself off her throne to her feet. It is him- in the king's garb he was buried in but the face he has when he reached home, hair till the shoulders and speckled with grey, face oddly blank. His feet are transparent.

"What are you doing here, sceptre?" Poseidon booms, hair the color of a stormy sea. Zeus, beside him, looks reserved, observing the ghost with something approaching curiosity- eyes flicking to the lightning scars on his daughter's face and back. "Your time has long passed, and Hades-"

"It is a temporary agreement," Odysseus says curtly, barely sparing him a glance as he approaches his patron. "Athena."

Her armour clinks as she steps forward and the gods all twitch, trading glances. Owls are silent creatures- to have her aspect so affected to make noise was... uneasy to say the least. She even holds herself different than usual, something like confused delight shining in her eyes. "How did you-"

"Did you sleep with my wife?"

The throne room is silent. Several jaws drop.

Athena straightens back up, blinking in surprise. She looks a bit shifty, some of the nymphs closest whisper to each other, which- well, almost every single god present owed some part of their existence to the mere story of Odysseus loving his wife.

Would he fight his own patron goddess over it in front of Mount Olympus, though? He certainly was unbalanced enough; Athena herself looked rather uncertain of her odds, even though-

"Are you addled in death, King of Ithaka?" Artemis drawls, looking amused. "Did you forget that your own patron is celibate? Whatever rumor you-"

"No, I-" Athena says suddenly, shifting her spear to her other hand. "I did."

Artemis chokes on her breath and several assorted divine beings gasp in shock and the rest shouting for explanations, although everyone is nearly drowned out by Aphrodite's loud, "WHAT?"

Odysseus inhales sharply and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I cannot believe you."

"She asked-" Athena starts, only to be drowned out by the din of various beings screeching and shouting about the scandal.

"ATHENA!" Hera hisses, peacock tail fanning behind her sharply as she pushes herself up. "Explain yourself!"

Athena half-turns to face her, face creased in a frown. "Mother, I-"

"LET ME REPHRASE!" Odysseus cuts in loudly, and the shouting settles down into silence. He walks to his patron, eyes blazing. "I cannot believe," he throws his clenched fists wide as he growls the last word, "-you took Penelope to bed-" Athena surprisingly stays still as he reaches her, mouth falling open as he grabs her by the chiton to yank her down, uncaring of the gasps of horror from all around as he snarls, "-before you ever kissed me."

And then Odysseus grabs Athena by the face roughly and kisses her.

This time Aphrodite's shriek cannot be escaped by anyone.

"Aphrodite, please," Zeus says a few moments later, wincing as his throne reforms around him, stained oddly pink. Quite a few minor entities have discorporated, and the ones nearest to her are still trying to regenerate their hearing. "Control yourself."

Their eyes land back on where Athena has dropped her spear- dropped her spear, Ares in the corner seems to be having some minor hysteria over this, well warranted- and is also on the floor, still being thoroughly kissed by that insufferable, mannerless hero of hers, perched on her stomach to reach. Zeus inhales in fury, Poseidon close behind him as the shock wears off, lightning crackling around his fingers as he opens his mouth to shout- of all the indignities-

"If you two ruin this for me," Aphrodite thunders, warping in front of them and glaring. "I will make you both regret it."

Both gods visibly blanch at the threat, taken aback for one brief moment. Threats from Aphrodite are far worse than any of her more violent siblings, at the end of the day.

Zeus visibly gathers himself just as Athena's helmet clatters to the floor, and he gains a second wind immediately, eye twitching as he spreads a hand to the spectacle in the middle of the hall. "WHAT MANNER OF DISRESPECT IS THIS? TO BARGE INTO OUR MEETING AND THROW ONE OF THE OLDEST GODDESSES TO THE FLOOR LIKE A COMMON WENCH-"

"Zeus," Hera says quietly. Everyone falls silent, although it's not quite enough to stop the two tangled together on the ground. She clears her throat, which finally seems to get through to Athena, who had finally seemed to have gotten over her shock enough to reach out, hands hovering over Odysseus hesitantly. Still, at the noise she seems to remember herself, pushing herself up on an elbow and dislodging him enough to break their necking. He pouts at her, but Athena's eyes are too glazed over to notice, heaving for breath.

Hera opens her mouth to speak, crown manifesting on her brow as she steps in front of the throne, but closes it as the door rattles again.

This time, the spectre shimmers with a faint hint of scales that comes with a freshwater nymph's heritage and excited whispers starved for drama explode across the room as the Queen of Ithaka steps into the room, skirts hitched in her hand and panting as if she'd been running.

"Your Graces," She bows respectfully before entering, Spartan princess through and through, until she catches sight of her husband and Athena, the former of whom seems to have taken the opportunity to start kissing the wisdom goddess again, fingers in her curls.

"What are you doing?" She snaps, rushing over. The entire courtroom holds its breath. She slaps her husband upside the head, making him yelp and move back to shoot her a betrayed look. Athena looks even further dazed than before, cheeks red. "Argos has more manners than you! No wonder Lady Athena wanted nothing to do with you- ah, hello, darling, by the way."

"Penelope," Athena murmurs hoarsely, and the Queen of Ithaka leans down to kiss her as well.

Odysseus chuckles, then jumps with everyone else as Hera slams a hand down on the throne elegantly, cracking it to the base.

"Ah, goddess-" He says, clambering off Athena to bow.

"Silence," Hera interrupts, holding up a hand, eyes cold. "You will not say anything to me apart from an explanation. My agreement for your release from Ogygia was due to the assurance that your marriage was one of the truest I have ever witnessed, conveyed by Athena herself when bartered with all of us to let you go. Tell me, was it a ploy? Because from the disgraceful looks of it, this seems to not be the case in the slightest."

Odysseus frowns, face twisting in confusion. "Athena bartered with...?" He turns to look at his patron, who stares back, unspeaking. His eyes flicker to the lightning scar over her right eye as Penelope traces it with horrified eyes and a gentle thumb, and understanding seems to dawn.

For a moment, rage seems to fill him, glaring with a hatred towards Zeus that everyone whispered later wasn't met by the god king with anger, but a flicker of remorse- before he visibly throws it away behind Athena's old smile and bows.

"God-queen," He says formally, gracefully. Hera twitches a bit, and they'll all talk later about how odd it was to so clearly see Athena's younger mannerisms in the man, down to the curl of the letters. "My marriage to Penelope has never been false, never been broken, this I promise you." He takes Penelope's hand and squeezes it for emphasis, and she raises them as acknowledgement. "But... can you not argue that Athena has been part of our marriage all this time? From its start, where she advised me on courting and her on what to look for, to the twenty years she spent with both of us- me on the battlefield and Penelope in the court; to say nothing of how she helped raise our son and lived in our palace in the days after. And is she not so unbearably beautiful that even my Penelope couldn't wait-" He shoots a glare at her, which Penelope returns with a smile. "-when the chance was presented? How can you fault us for disgrace, after being so long apart from our wife?"

Hera raises both eyebrows at the impudence, the kind of disbelieving expression that hides a warning to tread carefully. "So you claim to be both married to Pallas Athena?"

"In every way that matters except legality," Odysseus says, fearlessly. He is dead, after all, what much can you do to a shade that they didn't already put him through when alive. He is sort of worried about Athena, though, as they both help her back to her feet, Penelope busy whispering compliments and updates and endearments in turn- she's not usually one to be quiet in face of a problem.

Hera tilts her head. "Ah, but you see. I need the legality, if I am to finally-" A helpless, excited smile pulls at her lips once, twice, before unfolding into a bright grin, peacock tails unfolding to their full wingspan. "-finally arrange for a marriage for my eldest daughter who has not once- oh finally, I can hardly believe this day has come-"

"I do not like the way you grabbed her, Sacker of Troy," Ares steps forward as Hera starts ranting half to herself, half to an equally loud assemblage of joyful entities about wedding arrangements, eyes narrowed.

Odysseus barks an incredulous, loud laugh, gesturing to Athena with a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "This lady has broken- and I do not exaggerate- every single bone in my body before I saw my sixteenth year. I have punched her a hundred times in the face when she taught me how to fight. We'll survive, thanks."

"That is fair," Ares steps back, hands raised.

"What duties will you provide as spouses, Ithakan Queen?" Hestia questions, stepping forward.

"Oh, the same we did when we were living," Penelope huffs a laugh. "Keep her busy, make her laugh, be of mild frustration to her, love her well, worship her-"

"I do not. Need to know," Hestia closes her eyes and raises a hand to cut her off, stepping back. Around them, the din catches speed and volume as no further objections arise, excitement spilling into the air.

"What is happening?" Athena says faintly, looking around as if she was just waking up.

"-oh, and we can get out the decor once more! Hebe, Aphrodite, loves, do you remember where we kept the fountains-"

"-finally, a reason to celebrate! Call them all out of hiding-"

"-can't believe this is finally happening, oh sister, what songs should we-

"Why am I getting married," Athena says with much more alarm and horror. She turns to Odysseus and shakes him by the shoulder, eyes wild. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"How is this nothing? Do you have any idea the headache-"

"Athena, sweetheart, will you consider changing into that beautiful piece you made for the ceremony?"

Creakily, she turns her head to Hera, disbelief pasted across her face. "Mother," She says slowly. "They are both dead."

"Oh, I'll make a deal with Hades or something, you hush!" Aphrodite leans forward and snaps, before her irritation melts back into a manic joy. "Oh, what paint shall we do?"

Paint, Athena mouths, looking afraid for possibly the first time since her conception.

Penelope laughs and tugs on Athena's hand to make her turn, tucking dishevelled curls behind her ear. She wonders if the goddess knows how beautiful she is when she's flustered. "Take us away," She whispers. On Athena's other side, Odysseus leans against their patron with a besotted, helpless smile as he stares up at her, her helmet and spear in hand. She'd missed Athena like a limb, missed her deep laugh at night when they'd discussed the day's court, the dry jokes, the hands over hers as she weaved- but Odysseus wasn't himself without her, happy though they were in Hades' lands together, all of them.

"I'm-" Athena wavers, then looks around once more at all the excited screaming, something unreadable flashing in her eyes. Almost against her will, her eyes fall to Zeus, who is sitting silently and staring back at her. Poseidon looks like he still wants to start a fight, but clearly by his wary looks below can tell he will be heavily outnumbered by the overexcited crowd to not try, but Zeus just stares back at her, face blank of any emotion.

"We ask you formally this time," King Odysseus says, walking in front of her to take her attention away, holding onto her hand. His voice has strength in it, drawing the eyes of the murmuring crowd, but he's deaf to it as he stares up at her.

"Will you be our wife?" Queen Penelope asks, joining him, watching their beautiful patron shudder for breath she does not need as her eyes flick to one of them and then the other.

"Yes," She whispers and cheers erupt all across Mount Olympus.

"Finally!" Odysseus complains, and then pulls her down once more to kiss her, all three of them fading at the edges as one of the generous gods present there- who seems to realize that they're not very inclined to stop anytime soon- thankfully teleports them away into a nice room with a large bed.

"Finally," He whispers as he breaks apart to lay her down, cupping her face, voice heavy with the longing of a full lifetime and more. Penelope circles to the head of the bed and starts undoing Athena's braid, staring at them both lovingly.

Later the ones closest will murmur, as the silhouettes faded away, that tears had slipped from proud Pallas Athena's eyes as she placed one hand against Odysseus' cheek, trembling.

"I missed you," She will whisper back, and all three of them fade away to their own story, yet to be made.

[jayktoralldaylong]

"MelJayVik can never work."

Just say you're weak and you hate challenges. 🙄

Also, what challenge? The SECOND Mel understood just how much Jayce cared about Viktor, she was LOCKED IN. My girl had no hesitation.

"We will find Viktor." "Don't worry Jayce, he will come back to us."

Don't play with my girl Mel, her mother is Ambessa, the flexibility was built into her genes. 💀🔥

[vynnyal]

Finally finishing totk

[starry-bi-sky]

"Why didn't they just fish?" in Epic: The Musical

I'm more active with the Epic fandom on tiktok than I am on tumblr (in the sense that interact with it more often), but one common joke/criticism I see there is that Odysseus and his crew could've avoided Polyphemus entirely if they just fished. At first I thought it was a funny joke, but then I saw people like, actually criticizing Odysseus and his crew for it. And it slowly stopped being funny, and now I'm just sick of it.

So, why couldn't they just fish?

Right off the bat, I can think of several reasons why.

Lack of proper equipment

Quantity

Time (Preparation, Longevity of the fish, the time it takes to fish, etc)

Proper Fishing Areas

To start with: Odysseus and his crew just off the bat don't have the equipment to fish. Yes, I'm aware they have harpoons as mentioned in "Storm". I don't know why they have harpoons, but they do. Harpoons in fishing are used against large, deep sea fish. Fish you are most likely going to see in deeper parts of the water that require speciality equipment that ancient grecian soldiers straight up don't have. And if you use a harpoon against a smaller fish, you're more than likely going to mostly destroy or otherwise damage the fish and leave less meat behind to eat. You're going to break bones, and fish bones are thin, fragile, and easily choke-able on. It's a waste of time and effort.

Then, what about nets? Those also don't work, because if they have nets on their ships, then those nets are not going to be fishing nets. They're going to be nets made as tools or equipment for the ship, which means the holes in between are likely too big to catch anything. Those nets also are likely not weighted so that they can sink to the bottom and catch fish; those nets are gonna float. And, those nets probably aren't going to be big enough to catch a mass haul either, and they have six hundred men to feed.

"Why not use their ropes to make fishing nets." Well, they could! They live on an island, and six hundred men there's bound to be someone who knows how to make a fisher's net. But they need that rope. That rope serves a purpose. Rope is an essential equipment on ships, even in modern day, ships will have hundreds to thousands of pounds of rope because they need it.

All rope has its breaking point. Rope frays, it snaps, it weakens over time. They need rope for the sails, for anchoring, if that rope breaks, they need to have the tools ready to replace it, and they can't do that if that rope has been turned into a fishing net. Plus, ship rope and fishing rope are entirely different things and have different thickness and material.

"They can just undo the net" no they could not! Making a fishing net by hand takes approximately eight hours. Those knots have to be tight enough to not loosen up when something pushes against it, unknotting a fishing net would take hours to do, and to do that every time they need to fish? It's just not worth the energy and time, especially if they have a low quantity of soldiers who know (and remember!) how to make a fisher net. Plus, undoing the net would just fray the rope and make it unusable.

Also, fish don't swim up at the top of the ocean. They're going to be found deeper down in the cooler parts, or in the shallows and reefs by the islands. And fish startle really easily. They're going to zip away and hide at the first sign of movement or sound. When I was little and my dad would take us fishing, he would remind us to be quiet so we didn't scare the fish away.

The fish in the reef are finite too. There are also going to be different amounts of fish in each area. Even on the river, there were some parts that were teeming with fish, and then spots that were completely dead. Odysseus and his crew would have to find where these spots are, and then try, with their ill-equipped nets and harpoons, to catch those fish.

Which brings me to my next issue: quantity. One medium-sized mammal like a sheep could feed, what, at least fifteen men. Fifteen fish could feed about three. In a family of four we needed to catch at least twenty palm-sized blue-gills in order for us to all eat and not be hungry after, and that's with other food with us too.

The amount of fish that would need to get caught in order to adequately feed six hundred men enough that they have the energy to row their 50-men ships -- which are about 50 tons -- would have to be industrial amount, they'd need to be catching fish every day. There wouldn't be enough fish on a single island to feed six hundred men. They'd need to hop from island to island in order to get enough fish to feed everyone, and then they wouldn't get anywhere.

And why do that when there's twenty, perfectly good sheep, right over there? Which is another thing. They're hunting animals on an island, a finite space. Fishing in a reef or shallows, the fish has access to the massive ocean right next to it. Those fish can get spooked away at a moment's notice and poof, gone. Meanwhile, there's only so much space that a sheep on an island can go, and only so many places they can hide. If it runs, we're persistence predators! We can just follow them, and corner them. We can't follow fish into the ocean, that's when we're on the fishes terms.

Fishing also takes hours. Which yes, hunting also does too. But the payout for hunting a sheep (can feed at least fifteen men) is far greater than the payout of fishing (could feed three, maybe four). Plus again, island; there's only so far they can go, and they have bows and arrows. The time it'd take to hunt the sheep and get enough to feed everyone would be significantly less than the time it'd take to catch fish for everyone.

In two hours you could not have caught a single fish, even in modern day (and I know this from personal experience). In two hours, on an island, you could have probably already caught a deer, or a sheep.

Preparation too. Longevity. Essential nutrients that fish do not have. There are certain fish you can't eat because they're poisonous, or they lack certain nutrients, or they just don't get big enough to feed even a single man. As I mentioned before, fish have these iitty bitty bones that are thin, sharp, and easily choke-able. Descaling and deboning a fish takes time that these soldiers don't really have; they're trying to row this great big ship back home. They can't waste effort on picking apart the bones of a fish so they don't choke or otherwise hurt themselves. Mammals have a ton of meat, and big bones! No worries there about choking or deboning.

Fish spoils faster than meat does. Yes there are all these preparations for food that go against spoiling, but still, those preparations would be for meat, veggies, fruits. Fish would need to be preserved differently, and if they don't they'd need to be constantly fishing in order to make up for the loss of stock. Then they'd never get anywhere because you can't fish on the open ocean without the proper equipment, that they would not have as ancient greeks AND soldiers. Like this is a warship, not a fisher ship.

Think of it this way: you're trying to feed six hundred men, and not only that, you're trying to get enough food to keep them fed for at least the rest of the journey or long enough to find another island that has food on it.

Would you rather: risk your hand trying to fish with shoddily, ill-equipped nets or harpoons that are not made for fishing, and catch maybe twenty fish within ten hours? And maybe six are big enough to feed one or two men?

Or

See if there are any large animals on the island that you can hunt, as well as any edible fruits or plants that you can bring back with you and do this in four.

Which one are you choosing?

Overall, there are just too many negatives in fishing that makes it, as a whole, completely pointless to do. Lack of proper equipment, quantity, time, and fishing spots are all things that come into play. I can appreciate it as a funny joke, and I did at first, but when it's taken as an actual criticism is where I go "hold on, have you ever actually gone fishing before?"

[canisalbus]

I had a dream with Vasco and Machete last night, I don't remember all details, but I do remember people talking about Machete being some sort of fallen angel or something. I even saw flashes of his angelic form in between, I'll have to draw those when I get back home. It was both scary and delightful.

.

[aphid-kirby]

Went to SOFA2024 as PvZ Peashooter! First time cosplaying to this local nerdcon. It was awsome! Here's some of my fave pics I took w/ others! My friends helped me keep track of how many people asked me for a pic, which was a total of 107 times! It was a blast!

Don't worry abt the last pic, the people demanded justice and Peashooter was freed to frolick Among the nerds

[decaying-theatre-lesbian]

I’ve finally collected my thoughts on the Wisdom Saga enough to be coherent. The Wisdom Saga is without a doubt my favourite saga from Epic the Musical so far. I’m genuinely obsessed with all the songs and the fact that it’s led by Athena (my favourite character) makes it that much better!

The livestream and animatics were fabulous, the artist truly knocked it out of the park with this one. Between the absolute bangers this saga and the incredible art I was completely breathtaken the whole time!

Little Wolf and God Games are two (excluding Charybdis) of the songs I’ve been most excited for since learning about Epic over a year ago! I’ve been especially excited for Apollos part in God Games and it was all worth the wait!

The Suitors sound amazing and Jay’s casting for Antinous is perfect, I can’t wait for Hold Them Down. Honestly, all the casting is great!

[endead-art]

The Ithaca Saga (Epic the Musical) was so good

I already listened to the songs prior to the stream, but man

That truly was a journessy, an epic one at that

Thank you Mr. Jalapeño

[zirconpetals]

So Sameth & Maximus were absentee dads huh

[youjustwaitsunshine]

i love you historical epics with prefaces and footnotes i love you bilingual historical epics with side by side verses i love you historical context i love you endless appendices i love you explanation for the historical text that makes up half the book

[la-galaxie-langblr]

what is going on w my brain

[catilinas]

re ‘pharsalia is neglected by classics courses’: this is TRUE and almost entirely the reason i’m taking my current latin epic module because next term our set text is the pharsalia and i am ridiculously excited for it

YESSSSSS i hope you have fun!!! my epic module didnt cover the pharsalia BUT i spent so much of my first year of uni tweeting about it that one of the lecturers was like. ok tate i will run a pharsalia / caesar's BC latin module. For You. and then they did and it was awesome. you too can be the Pharsalia Guy in your classics course thumbs up emoji

[cheriafreya]

I'm actually... enjoying Wuthering Waves this time...

[zombeesknees]

i was confused as to why my dash was suddenly full of LOST -- specifically the "Pilot", which, truth be told, really IS a helluva pilot, regardless of what came after -- and then I realized yesterday was the 20th anniversary of the premiere.

[yatiso]

im sorry digital world analog devices no matter how finicky or straight up entirely more liable to be defective or time/money consuming will always have the top shelf in my heart