#epic the fanfic

[i-would-get-in-the-water-naked]

in honor of Odysseus being bad with numbers.

[thezachy]

yall dont know how how much to shit it will all go

[dapper-lil-arts]

Perks of writing a deranged multiverse fanfic, you can thrown nearly any kind of scene just for the sake of fun.

So I finally got to address the cuntiest MLP character, Nightmare Rarity AND make it about rarijack lol

[irunaki]

mh im doing a fic of my au with the help with Milky and Xria :))

idk english neither how to write but we live

[enbeemagical]

Idk if anyone's talked about this before but the Wisdom saga made me think about how Penelope isn't just being a loyal wife. I mean, there's loyal, and then there's "Your Majesty your husband is almost definitely dead by now we really really need a new king can you *please* legitimize someone to rule who is actually old enough to do that" the Ithacans probably think she's delusional for insisting that her husband is coming home after twenty years.

Penelope's not stupid, she hopes beyond hope, but she knows the chances of Odysseus making it home dwindle every day. Things happen, out at sea, ships never make it home. She knows there's a much greater chance that she's faithful to a ghost.

But it's not just loyalty. These men courting her would kill her son.

He's Odysseus's heir. All the men who trusted and followed Odysseus, well, Telemachus is his son. He can call on those other kings' friendship with his father. He has Odysseus's legacy behind him. Odysseus's friendships. He's young, but if he's inherited half his father's cleverness, half his father's strength, he's on the way to becoming a powerful king in his own right. A threat to his stepfather's rule.

And the suitors know this. If one of them became king, Telemachus wouldn't be likely to survive-- and if he did, it'd probably be in exile.

And Penelope knows this. So as she watches her son grow up, she says Odysseus must be coming home soon. She says she's waiting for him. And when that won't hold water, she stalls, and watches her son grow into his father's son. Anything she can think of, to give him more time.

She's ruled well, alone, but Ithaca must have a king.

She doesn't tell anyone why she's stalling, not even Telemachus. He's like Odysseus- he needs someone to protect, and right now that's her. Let him defend her virtue against the suitors, and she'll keep stalling, keeping them away from her son's throne until he can claim it.

[anniflamma]

saw this today

WHY IS EVERYONE BLAMING ME?!!!

[scarlet-sam-chaos]

with #manwhore au going around again, me being me is posting dis again:

i cant mansplain, manipulate, manslaughter my way out of this (manwhore it is-)

“She offered me everything, Zeus,” Odysseus continued, his voice low and intimate. “But I resisted, for my heart belonged only to Penelope. Like this...”

‘Witnessing this,’ Eurylochus thought as he watched Odysseus- still bleeding and wearing what was practically rags by now- sway dramatically, ‘was worse than being potentially dead.’

Hera, sensing the tension between the mortal and her husband, cleared her throat pointedly. “That's enough, Odysseus,” she interjected with a raised eyebrow, her tone carrying a hint of amusement.

Or, how Odysseus managed to save himself as well as his crew. He learnt that ruthlessness was mercy from Poseidon, and that there are other ways of persuation from Circe.

[obsob]

happy and proud!!

✷(print shop)✷

[xfilesinamajor]

Commission by the incredible @kazimir29 of Eurylochus and Ctimene, which I requested partly to accompany my short Ctimene fic "Trapped" but mostly because her art is beautiful and Eury's my favorite.

[dollypopup]

We all need to take more time to appreciate Colin Bridgerton and the details of his sexy dream. In his brain, the ultimate fantasy involves

him walking to Penelope in a new (fully imagined) dress/nightgown as he is cravatless, shirt undone, in her garden in the mist

an APOLOGY to her for how late it is, and that he just HAD to see her (Colin Bridgerton out here putting the man in manners)

STUTTERING through a confession of how much he's been thinking of her ("I rehearsed that speech for hours")

The mist dissipating and turning into flames around them like candlelight (he's a WRITER!!!!!! the metaphors. the VIBES)

Her reply that she ALSO can't stop thinking of him or their kiss (consent KING)

The two of them passionately smooching as he presses her against a wall (they like it rough)

Cushioning the back of her head with his hand as she grabs onto his arm for dear life (but also tender)

Very loud moaning from her as he kisses over her neck and chest (praise kink! praise kink! praise kink!)

and then my man woke up in a SWEAT. chest HEAVING. cheeks RED. from one of the most romantic PG-13 wet dreams possible. this is the guy who was having threesomes like half an episode ago and now he's blushy blushy over the idea of Pen having feelings for him and them smoochin' about it. and you wanna tell me he's NOT the best Bridgerton Boy??? puhlease!!! 11/10, ultimate fave, sign him up for an AO3 account posthaste

[lovely-p-issues]

Fic idea - Astyanax in Ithaca

for times when my English will become acceptable because writing this in Polish feels not right sample of the story under the summary c:

Of course, I was thinking about Penelope's reaction to Odysseus showing up with a new kid (10/11 years old, give or take, Astyanax) at their doors.

I imagined it as the Game of Thrones scene when Ned Stark comes home and shows Catelyn a baby who, he claims, is his bastard. If I were her, I would lose my mind.

But I think that Odysseus explained himself chaotically, yet truly and Penelope didn't fight with the idea of raising the little prince as their own.

But Telemachus? Well, that's a hell of a different story.

He spent his childhood without his father, missing his presence and hoping to meet him one day. He lived in his shadow, as the problematic son of the absent king that everyone wanted to kill, or as a painful reminder to his mother that Odysseus wasn't around anymore and that she needed to be there for the two of them.

Now his dad is back but with a new child.

A new child who knows his father so well. Odysseus was his only parent for ten years (if we forget about 600 uncles, but they died after like 3 years? if I get it right?) and they just get themselves on an impossible level.

Odysseus knows Astyanax's nightmares (they share them).

Astyanax knows his father's past and doesn't need to ask many questions, and Telemachus does. He hates to do it because he sees Odysseus's pain, he sees Astyanax's reproachful look, like he is going to fight Telemachus if he doesn't leave their father, and-

and he sees the sad, concerned eyes of his mom.

So he doesn't ask much about those 20 years. And somehow it's even worse.

Because Telemachus doesn't know Odysseus. Because it feels weird and not home, like they are forced to be close, but they are not. Because he knew his father from songs, stories and legends, and this man is not who he heard of and he doesn't know how can he fix it.

Telemachus doesn't like to think about it but feels like he gives up on Odysseus. He spent the last 20 years of his life trying to reach that man and- Telemachus is tired.

Besides, Odysseus has another son anyway, right?

The prince of Troy, cursed boy, son of Hector, Astyanax, who also turned out to be a pain in the ass.

He knows that he can't blame the kid for his existence or even for the fact that Odysseus took him to their home.

For that Odysseus often takes Astyanax for horse rides to show him the island. The thing that Telemachus did alone.

For that, Odysseus teaches the boy how to use a sword and they laugh a lot during that. The thing that Telemachus did with strangers, got dozens of bruises, always trying to do everything he could to impress the person that wasn't there.

He doesn't blame Astyanax.

He just can't stand him.

But the boy seems to love the idea of going after him whenever Odysseus manages to pull him off for a moment. It's okay when Astyanax watches him during the trainings with eyes shining with excitement. However, it's bad when Astyanax starts to talk.

Father said I'm getting better at parrying-

When I was with father on Calypso's island-

Father does this completely differently-

Telemachus is a patient man. He waited for his father for 20 years. But sometimes he asks himself if Astyanax knows that all this talking about Odysseus, the man he missed but can't actually get to know, is such a trigger for him.

Maybe Astyanax teases him to show how much more of a son Odysseus is?

With every day Telemachus is more and more irritated. He does his best to hide it, but he can't ignore this fire burning him from the inside.

The reason for this fragile peace collapse is, relatively, very stupid.

Telemachus was tired after all day when he met Odysseus.

"The situation in the city is now calmed down,’ he informed his father, combing through his wind-tangled hair."

Odysseus nodded and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Telemachus. Well done."

Telemachus froze, not knowing what to say. He couldn't even move. Finally, he nodded, wincing slightly at the awkwardness of his every interaction with his father.

"Of course, father."

Odysseus seemed equally perplexed. However, the whole situation changed when Astyanax appeared in the courtyard where they stood.

Or, he ran into it, almost toppling over, just to get to Odysseus faster and embrace him around the waist.

"Dad, you will never believe what I found with mother in the garden!"

Telemachus watched with unhealthy interest as his father's face lit up with a smile as he listened to Astyanax's excited chatter.

A sudden anger, though senseless and petty, flared his veins. He had to avert his gaze and drive it into the ground so that no one could see his anger. His jaw was clenched tightly.

Twenty years of life based on a vague memory. An entire journey to find his father. His faith, his efforts and his devotion. All this to not be able to have one real conversation with his father. All this to watch both his parents melt down over his new, little brother. All this to stand by and watch his dreams fade away.

He no longer watched.

He walked away before he could do something stupid. Something that would distance him even further from his father.

He holed up in one of the cool and dark corridors of their palace. He concentrated on his breathing and massaged his temples.

He was an adult and knew how to deal with his feelings. Not that anyone had ever taught him that.

"Telemachus, what's wrong? You don't even know what we found in the garden, you went too fast!"

He didn't know shit about how to deal with his feelings.

"Could you, for five minutes, let me live as I lived before you came along? Five minutes without your constant footsteps and shouting behind my back. Five minutes of peace and quiet! That's all I'm asking for!"

But Astyanax took a few steps back as if frightened by Telemachus' sudden outburst. A grimace twisted his face and he squinted as if Telemachus was an extremely difficult puzzle for his quick mind.

"Why are you so angry? I don't understand."

"At this point? I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that I wasn't this angry even once before you dragged yourself home with father and decided to act as if it had all been yours forever."

Telemachus had to calm down. For bloody hell, he had just shouted at the eleven-year-old as if he was guilty of anything.

‘Are you angry about your father bringing me with him?’

Damn it.

It wasn't true. To be fair, he did not want Astyanax to die that night in Troy or be lost in the depths of the burning city.

Still, did he want him here? He let his thoughts wander before he could finally admit it to himself.

Astyanax, essentially, was not the problem. Everything else was. Telemachus was as well.

"No. There are many other things I'm angry about, but not this."

He sat down on the floor and leaned against the cool wall. He hid his face in his hands and let the anger leave him with his next breaths.

"Forgive my shouting. You got me at the wrong time, brother."

And he heard the boy slowly slide down the wall and sit down a few steps away from him.

"You should be grateful, you know?" suddenly said Astyanax. "He travelled all the world to see you and Mom."

You won't scream, Telemachus said to himself. He took a breath.

"Yeah, he didn't really know me, so. I don't know if that counts."

"That's even better. I mean, he loved you anyway. All this time, he was thinking about you"

This logic was wrong, but Telemachus doesn't find enough strength to fight over it.

They stayed silent for a few minutes.

"He didn't want me, you know? He just didn't want me dead and I reminded him of you. He was also scared of what I would become if he just left me alone. And you are so awful but he wanted you from the beginning and he loves you and he was so proud and-" Astyanax put his arms around his knees, his voice breaking as he spoke his next words: "You're a terrible idiot, you know. But he still wants you."

Telemachus needed a few seconds to see that every now and then, Astyanax would rub his wet eyes with his little fists.

He wasn't ready for this, even after months of training he wouldn't be ready. He stays silent for a moment. Slowly, he puts his arms over the crying mess and draws him to his side.

"And you think that father carried you all over the world because he doesn't like you?"

"Because he's kind and he would be ashamed to tell uncle Polites what he did."

"As far I know he wasn't so nice all this time, right? But he never turned his back on you. If you don't trust me, trust that. Odysseus came with you to Ithaca, because he wants you."

Astyanax did not reply but rested his head on his side. Telemachus let him.

Later that night, Telemachus carried a tired Astyanax straight to his parents' bedroom and knocked. When confused Odysseus finally opened it, Telemachus threw the sleepy child at him without hesitation.

"Hug your bloody kid."

And he walked away. This was his moment to avoid uncomfortable questions.

Let me know what do you think. And yes, Telemachus and Odysseus have a proper conversation about being father and son, but later.

BTW sorry for all the errors, I'm so sleepy right now I barely see my screen

[i-would-get-in-the-water-naked]

ZEUS MAKES ME WANT TO BE THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

also makes me want to write more of him in the Epic The Fanfic.

It's a pitty that I won't get the Odysseus character development in the fanfic, but it'll be something a lil different.

Anyway I'm going to start writing again before I disappear for another three weeks

[thezachy]

im just so happy to be in this part of the story rn uhdsuibivurisucah i love this man with my whole heart.

[diaphamin]

number neighbor — lee donghyuck 𝜗𝜚

in which haechan follows the trend of texting your number neighbor determined to make them his friend

part eleven

diaphamin: SHORT AND TO THE POINT JUST HOW I LIKE IT

previous — next

taglist: open @selleular @swanyvess @222low @dudekiss3r @thegracerammy @strawberrysavi @njmluvr @nosungluv @injunnie-lemon @sleepyvic @ndwp77 @nicholasluvbot @minkyuncutie @mango-bear @kodasity @minhosprettywife @nanaxwi @hyuckmoon @shoetaroshoe @raevyng @yuthabitz @markeroolee @toyoongg @kyubing @slayhaechan @yesohhsehun @chan-yeoldelling @skepvids

[dkunknowing]

This is for @clasiann i think I tag the right person right?

[zoldsick]

Kings and Jesters

♕ summary: zoro x f!reader - a silly game on the Thousand Sunny causes Zoro to confront his feelings about their newest member. Based on my original bullet point HC here.

♕ tags: fluff, first kiss, sfw

♕ wordcount: ~2.2k

♕ read on AO3

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Zoro was drunk. He needed to think and therefore was on his second bottle of hard liquor. He always did his best thinking when he was drunk, right?

Zoro thought long and hard about you. What was it about you? Why did he keep feeling himself drawn to you? Whatever it was, he was done letting you in so carelessly. He would not let you invade his mind. He had decided whatever he was feeling was most definitely not romantic feelings. He was sure of it. He would make sure of it.

After coming to this decision he continued to sit back on the bird's nest and enjoy his drink, all the while he desperately tried to tune out the charades taking place on the main deck. One voice in particular, he begged to stop hearing.

…

It was a silly drinking game. 

You were the one who introduced this game to the Strawhat crew, and everyone was having a blast. The game involved drinking, stupid challenges, and inconsequential punishments. Everything a silly party game needs. 

After you introduced the game to the Strawhat crew, they picked it up in stride. The game was called “King” and it involved competing in a handful of goofy challenges in which the winner of each round was crowned the King and the rest of the losers had to drink. The King was then allowed to penalize one of the losers by implementing a punishment- which was usually making them complete some sort of dare. Additionally, to add incentive, Nami decided she would be collecting a “Cowards Fee” on anyone who didn’t want to complete their dare. Suffice to say, everyone was going through with them. 

In other words, it was a fast, fun way to get wasted. 

The Sunny was sailing into an autumn climate and the air was chilly. You were grateful for the fireplace Franky had built as you felt the gentle breeze glide along your back. You smiled as you watched Sanji bring out a tray of marshmallows towards Chopper, who perked up at the idea of sweets. The moon was nearly full and everyone had finally settled around the fireplace living off of the alcoholic buzz and comradery that the game created. Well, almost everyone. 

Sanji cried out in anguish as the whole crew choked on their laughter. Franky was the previous winner and had declared that Sanji would be punished by eating a bite of a dangerously spicy pepper he had picked up on a previous island. It was not a pretty sight.

They had all come up with pretty good punishments this round. Usopp was forced to hold a spider that Robin found under the deck, Luffy was punished by Usopp, who dared him to jump into the ocean—given that Usopp would rescue him shortly after— and sweet Chopper made Robin give him a head massage behind his ears. Of course, Robin didn’t think this was much of a punishment, and happily scratched Chopper's head. 

“I WIN!” Nami shouted, jumping up and looking devilishly at the crew. Who knew Nami would be so good at card games?

Nami peered around at the crew grinning as she thought about what punishment would bring the most entertainment. 

“Pick me Nami ~” Sanji said, earning an eye roll from the orange haired girl. “Punish me please ~” She ignored his begging, but this did give her an idea. She suddenly turned towards you. You flinched under her mischievous gaze. You had been spared all night and now had a bad feeling it was about to become your turn. Just as predicted, her finger shot out and pointed straight at you. 

“Y/N. Don’t get cocky because you’re new on this ship. Stand up!” 

You got up from your seated position chuckling nervously at Nami’s antics. You doubted she would give you something too terrible, she’s been very protective of you since you boarded the Sunny. The Strawhats all cheered as you walked over to Nami, hooting and hollering for a good punishment. 

Nami slapped her hand across your shoulders, “Alright, Y/N. As a guest on this ship you must show your gratitude to the crew! I demand you give one of our crewmates a kiss! I’ll even be nice and let you choose who, though I think the answer is easy enough.” Nami said, batting her eyelashes at you. 

Your eyes widened, mouth agape, you couldn’t find the words to respond. You could feel your ears turn red as the whole crew exploded in excitement. Sanji went comatose. 

“Nami… I don’t know about this.” You complained, “I don't know if I’m comfortable with a …kiss.” 

“What’s wrong? Too many good options?” Shouted out Franky, “Choose me! I’ll definitely make it SUPER!” 

“It’s just a small kiss. No need to read into it,” said Robin. 

Sanji, staggered to his feet, “Y/N, I would be honored if you chose me as a representative of this ship, to bestow a k-k-kis-” he stopped to cover his nose as a jet of blood shot from it and he collapsed back again. 

Luffy protested, “But I’m the Captain! I’m the representative of the ship!” 

“Luffy, do you really want Y/N to kiss you?” questioned Usopp. 

“What? No. I’m just sayin’ I’m the Captain!” 

“SO! Y/N, who is it going to be?” Nami interrupted, stopping the crew from getting too off-topic. 

“Guys, I really don’t know about this. It’s not really something I’m, particularly… experienced in.” You beg your face to stop changing colors but feel your cheeks betraying you. 

“What do you mean?” Robin pressed, “Have you ever kissed anyone?” 

You desperately try to avoid eye contact. “Uh…” 

The deck of the Sunny suddenly went silent and you felt your embarrassment deepen even more. Suddenly everyone exploded in astonishment and reinvigorated competition. 

“Oh. My. God.” Nami couldn’t believe it, “This changes everything. ALRIGHT EVERYONE! This is now a competition to see who deserves to receive Y/N’s first kiss!” 

…

 Zoro’s drunken brooding was interrupted by shouts and arguing. He shifted from where he sat, the shouts weren’t in fear or danger, but emotions were definitely high. Luffy’s laugh pierced through the yells. What the hell are those idiots doing?

Zoro stood up and stumbled a little, suddenly feeling the liquor working through his veins. Zoro descended the birdnest’s ladder and staggered towards the main deck. As he turned the corner an odd scene appeared before him. Zoro couldn’t quite make out what the argument was about, but he heard everyone shouting over each other.

“I’m the one who initiated the dare in the first place! So I’m the obvious choice here! It’s only fair!” screamed Nami, pulling hard on Usopp’s ear who yelped out in pain. 

“Oh yeah?” Usopp winced, “Well I was the best kisser in all of Syrup Village! It should be me!” 

“That’s nice, but if we are basing this on experience, the older members should be at the top of the list. Right, Franky?” Robin asserted.

“RRRRRRRRRIGHT AS ALWAYS, ROBIN!” Franky posed showing off his muscles, “Y/N! Robin and I are obviously the best choices!” 

Sanji was incoherent, struggling to stop his still bleeding nose. All that could be heard was a pathetic beg, “Please… Please… Y/N’s first… Please…” 

Luffy and Chopper sat back laughing at the whole crew, uninterested in the prize and stuffing their cheeks with marshmallows. 

“What the hell is goin’ on here?” Zoro said gruffly.

You jumped slightly. You were so focused on the chaos that was taking place in front of you that you didn’t notice Zoro walking up. 

“Oh, Zoro. Uh… We were playing a game and…” You struggled to get the words out. 

Zoro waited, watching you squirm with cheeks flushed. This is unfair. 

You launched into a story, something about a game and a punishment, but Zoro wasn’t following. He was just staring, watching the way your lips formed each word. One might say he was distracted. Thankfully, he tuned back in to hear the conclusion. 

“- and so now everyone is arguing about who’s going to get my… first kiss. I guess. It’s all so dumb, I just want this to be over with.” you said burying your face in your hands as you heard Nami smack Sanji’s head back down after he had finally gotten back up.

“They’re what?” Zoro finally comprehended the implications of this punishment. Y/N’s first kiss…

“I know, I don’t know how to get out of this. Nami will probably bleed my pockets dry if I bail out. Probably best to just choose someone and get it over with.” You peeked out of your hands up at him. You were getting redder by the second. 

Zoro looked at the brawling party and then back to you. His chest hurt. 

“First kiss, how stupid.” he mumbled.

“I know! That’s what I’m trying to tell everyo--” 

There was a crash and suddenly Zoro’s hands were gripping your face, and before you could process it, his lips were crashing into yours. 

It was nothing like you imagined your first kiss would go. It was clumsy and he tasted like liquor. One of his hands gripped your jaw and the other tangled in your hair. You could barely keep up with his pace. One of your hands gripped his shirt and the other gripped his arm to ground yourself. His tongue was gliding over yours forcefully, you squeeked at the unfamiliar sensation, which only seemed to encourage Zoro. 

It only lasted around 10 seconds, but when Zoro finally broke the kiss you couldn’t move. Your whole body felt like jelly. His face hovered close to yours, eyes barely open, as if he couldn’t decide whether or not to continue. He suddenly took a long step back, clearing his throat and touching his mouth with his fingers.

All members of the Strawhat crew were staring, mouths wide open. Zoro’s bottle of liquor was still spilling out from where he dropped it. 

There was a beat, then the crew fell into disarray.   

Zoro ignored the ruckus happening next to him and struggled to look down at you. He shouldn’t have done that. He finally mustered up the courage to look at you and noticed you were an alarming shade of red. If steam started coming out of your ears he wouldn’t be surprised. Your mouth hung slightly open, lips slightly swollen from his rough kiss, he could tell you were struggling to register what had just happened. He froze as you looked up at him. 

It was like he got punched in the gut. You were incredibly flustered, your eyes slightly watery, and your hair disheveled. His breath hitched. God, what did I just do? 

He quickly looked away, struggling to maintain his composure. Trying to look anywhere besides you. Seeing you this flustered after a simple kiss was not going to help his current crisis. Suddenly a sob broke through the noise and Zoro turned to see who it was coming from. 

Sanji was on the floor crying, looking straight at Zoro, “How… HOW COULD YOU! YOU BEAST!” 

He jumped up, joined by all the other competitors for your first kiss. Chopper knocked down Zoro’s legs and he fell onto his stomach, Usopp jumped on his back and grabbed his hair, yanking it back and yelling back, “How was that fair, you jerk!” 

Sanji took advantage of the fallen Zoro and got a few weak kicks in, still wiping the tears from his eyes. He can’t even speak, he’s too furious, seeing Zoro kiss a woman was the nail on his mental coffin. Luffy can’t stop laughing. 

“They’re RIGHT Zo-Bro,” Franky says, twisting his arm to engage his weapons-left, “I never heard the lady give her permission.” 

“Hey! Argh! Stop it! What’s the big deal? It’s just a first kiss! I’ve never done that before either, it’s nothing!” 

There was a second pause while everyone took in this new information. Robin, unaware she was  about to rub salt in wounds, spoke up, "So, you’re each other's first kiss?" 

Zoro struggled against his crew and managed to look at you. The second you make eye contact neither of you could hold back the blush that made its way across your cheeks and up to your ears. 

The crew bursts into hysterics once again. 

Unable to withstand the attention and incapable of processing everything that just happened, you turned around and ran off into the women’s bunks. Gotta cool my head, gotta cool my head, gotta cool my head— What was that?! 

The crew watched as you retreated, then got in a few more blows to berate and beat Zoro. After a while everyone felt satisfied that Zoro had been appropriately punished, and left him alone. But Zoro didn’t move, he stayed facedown on the lawn of the Sunny, defeated. He was in time out, trying to think about his actions. 

He heard Usopp goofing around with Luffy and Chopper, bragging about how he alone managed to defeat the feared pirate hunter Zoro. Sanji had also dragged himself away sniffling, leaving to make the crew some hot cocoa before bed per Chopper’s request. Finally the deck was silent once again.

Zoro finally sat up, looking down at his own hands, “She didn’t need to run off like that, it’s not a big deal.” He spoke out loud, still trying to convince his crew, but mostly himself. 

Just then, Robin sprouted a hand from his back and slapped him on top of the head. 

He looked up at Robin in disbelief, “Not your best move, Swordsman,” she said from a distance and walked away. 

It’s possible that Zoro does not do his best thinking when he is drunk. 

♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕

author's notes: hope that was a little more fun than the original bullet points. this was originally in a much longer slow-burn story that I decided to ditch, so it's been written for awhile. I might just post the fun parts of that story and edit them to make sense as a one-shot. As always thanks to @nanpecan for editing, go read her nanami fic, it rulez